#even this post im like...this is antithetical to your goal...just stop posting...

[ghostcrows]

I want to end my unhealthy relationship with social media...that's kind of what the point of my "hiatus" was. cause over and over again being terminally online has caused me nothing but problems. Im trying to turn to other methods instead of talking stream of consciously online 24/7

But it's not easy when you've been doing it since you were like 12 years old. I've even thought about deleting this blog but I'm hesitant because it's such a sentimental thing to me, it's an archive of a huge chunk of my life

And without this I start to feel lonely. I have people I can talk to but they have lives, I can't bother them all day with every little thought I have. I know I can just write in notes app or a real journal. But a lot of it is wanting something like a human connection, even for 5 seconds before I delete the post

And I take advantage of being able to delete posts as if that deletes it from everybody's memories -_- it doesn't.

But you know I'm not even really having fun here anymore, it feels hollow now. I'm just still here out of habit. I think my plan now is to taper off until I'm mainly only posting art and maybe music and aesthetic pictures and whatever every once in a while. Sooo yeah.