#but you just KNOW she was just think ‘jfc this dumbass’

[dobodleaday]

07.28.24 Good Choices, Only ⛓️

[zonotrichia-albicollis]

Giant personal vent time

This guy stole somewhere between 3 to 6 MILLION dollars from my grandmother by conning my great aunt into signing over her estate and medical & financial power of attorney to him literally on her death bed

I and my aunt have been working basically a whole second job the last 3 months trying to get together a legal case to go after this guy. And now my grandma wants to drop it. And no one else has standing so what the fuck can we do.

This man has absolutely done this to other ppl before, there is no doubt in my mind. I’ve seen his property records for just what’s publicly available in my county and it’s sketchy as hell. I am never going to get over this but there’s nothing I can do.

Gonna put like a million more thoughts in the tags because I’m losing my fucking mind.

[thehugmonster]

Reading this and realising that I've somehow convinced myself that I'd be completely unsuitable to parenthood because I'm quiet, don't talk a lot, find it difficult to act silly and goofy and playful in the way that lots of young children want you to play with them, and because I often find it too difficult to be strict with kids about harmless things and say no the way I would of it were an adult asking me the same things (eg. yes you can see my sketchbook, yes you can colour with me, yes you can watch YouTube with me (and use up all my data in the process), yes, I'll play with you even though I'm tired as long as you have fun, etc. and none of these things are considered "motherly" enough (by certain people in my family, but especially by my mother) for me to be a good mother. Also I have boundaries and want kids to grow up while I also respect my own boundaries (so they can see what it's like, coming from someone raised by a mother with little to no boundaries and a people pleaser) and this is considered to be a "boring, fun-spoiling" thing by above-mentioned people. And I somehow internalised that and thought that I'd be a bad mother because of it, and that it should be better for me to just not have kids at all than to be a "fun-spoiling and boring" mother, such that my kids would prefer having someone else mother them (like my mother, as she said so herself). And it's just. Completely fucking wrong??? Like!

Where are the introvert mothers who are still good mothers and the mothers with strong boundaries who don't lose their sense of self in having to take care of their kids and put their kids as the sun their world revolves around while simultaneously forgetting that they're a whole entire entity on their own with their own needs that has to be met too, the parents who work on their own trauma and don't project that onto their children, or have children as a retirement plan, or want to raise their kid into the best version of the person that kid will be and not for the purpose of providing emotional support and validation to the parent.

Like I'm sure they exist, just not around me. Which is probably why I believed this for so long. But! Being a good parent has got nothing to do with personality and everything to do with kindness and compassion! Aka a human trait, and a trait which I have an abundance of! (And sometimes I have too much of it, hence the need for strong boundaries lest I become too people-pleasy)

Which basically means that I can be a good mother if I ever want to be!!

Man, fuck all the bullshit I learned and internalized as a result of other people's preconceived notions about what is needed to be a good mother/parent!! I can be a good parent if I want to be, mother, take that! Stop telling me I'm failing/going to fail just because I'm not like you!

weird how people think nowadays there’s like…a very specific personality type you have to be to be a mother instead of capacity for motherhood being a default trait almost all of the female population possesses. should having a child just be a thing that someone does by default without considering it? no. but also having children is not something your personality makes you fundamentally unsuited for 9/10 times, mothers have all types of personalities, the most important traits for childraising are unselfishness and kindness and everyone should cultivate those in themselves no matter what anyway regardless of whether or not they have children.

this also applies to men but ive never seen anyone say "it’s okay for men not to be fathers because it wouldn’t make any sense to their personality".

[alipeeps]

Episode 28

OMG he is such a git! I'm love him!

Oh damn Li Lun somehow got there before them?

Your "old friend" eh? Well Wen Zongyu's definitely not going to want Princess Longyu to give Li Lun a dragon scale... cos he's counting on that poison to force Li Lun to submit to him.

Meng Xuan? Is that Wen Zongyu then? Did he go by a different name?

Oh dang, so they are blackmailing *her* to get Zhu Yan's inner core now? Jfc.

Just what DOES Wen Zongyu want the ever-burning wood for that he is willing to go to such lengths?

Uhhhh that might not be a story though?

Hahahaaaa Zhao Yuanzhou loves teasing people with flirty comments but when someone does it back to him?

Ohhh what the fuck there's a sick (pregnant?) wife and baby in Wen Zongyu's past? And he was cosying up to Princess Longyu to get a scale to heal/revive wifey? And is that what he's still trying to do with his demon experiments and his obsession with the ever-burning wood?

Ohhh so Meng Xuan was his.. apprentice? And he used his name when seducing Princess Longyu.

And... Wen Xiao's dad also called Wen Zongyu his senior? Did he also work for him?

Whyyy though would she still care to know what "Meng Xuan" wrote to her? She hated him and tried to kill him.

Oooh that's the first time I've noticed less than stellar sound production in this show. Loud atmospheric sounds of the waterfall etc and then abruptly dropped to muffled as soon as it switched to close up for a conversation.

So Zhao Yuanzhou may have promised Zhuo Yuanzhou to stop seeking death... but he's still more than willing to offer his death as a solution to any given problem.

Ugh my heart.

Oh dang, that sounds awfully familiar!!

(Although, guys, guys? Do you mind if I just maybe point out something very important that you don't seem to be considering? Zhao Yuanzhou's willingness to die for the cause aside... why has it not occurred to you to wonder what exactly Wen Zongyu wants Zhao Yuanzhou's inner core/the ever-burning wood for? Cos the answer to that question may make it imperative that he NOT get it - for any reason!!

Oh dang.

Oh fuuuuuck.... my heart....

Oh shit, once Zhuo Yichen makes up his mind, that's it. Our boy is ride or die for the Great Demon.

Seriously? They're gonna fight over this? Fall out over this?

Don't you fucking do it Zhao Yuanzhou!!

Pleeeeeease tell me this is all a clever ploy?

(I'd love for it to turn out that that whole argument about the inner core was acted out for the benefit of Chongwu camp spies, to fool them into thinking the core the Princess will bring them is real)

SO WHY GO TO ALL THAT FUCKING TROUBLE TO GET IT?!!!

Ahahahaaaa it was a set up (I sure hope that means the inner core is fake)

AHA!! I did wonder why it looked like Wen Xiao held something up but it didn't show what it was!!

Hahahaaa. Hao de.

He didn't see the fucking message and didn't know they were acting!

Mind you... to be fair to him, if he didn't know they were acting then he was the only one who didn't know Zhao Yuanzhou was fucking faking removing his inner core and sacrificing himself!!

He's sooo embarrassed cos he outright expressed his care for Zhao Yuanzhou in front of everyone...

Such fucking fondness in the way Zhao Yuanzhou looks at him!!

Oh nice girl, get your revenge...

Oh shiiitt... the way Zhao Yuanzhou reaches to comfort Wen Xiao as Princess Longyu explains that giving away her reverse scale will cause her clan to die.

Is he immune to the poison because of the demon blood experiments he's been doing all these years?

Ahhh shit he was expecting a trick and had the fake skin on so the poison never touched his skin.

I know it's not exactly honorable etc, but really guys... instead of just hanging out upstairs listening to shit go down you COULD just fucking put a few arrows in Wen Zongyu and remove his as a threat for good?

Aaaaand that's what's behind his hatred of demons and his plan to kill them all. And I am guessing that plan is what he needs the ever-burning wood for.

Dumbass

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hand-holding!!

Fuuuuck these kinds of conversations about inevitable endings do NOT bode well for the ending!!

And here's where I think the translation is a bit lacking. They keep translating it as "Don't be afraid." But what he's actually saying is "Bu yong pa". There is no use in being afraid. Which to me is not quite the same thing.

"Don't be afraid" means "Hey, don't worry/no need to worry, it'll be fine." It's reassuring.

"There is no use is being afraid" means "It's pointless being afraid, your fear serves no purpose. Things will happen the way they will regardless of your fear." It's fatalistic rather than reassuring.

Okaaaay so they are still teasing that without giving us the answer...

You FUCKERS!! WAs that a goddamn actual kiss, shown only in blurred focus from a distance?!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Well, I was gonna say there IS a fucking rush cos a) you need to save Bai Jiu and b) fucking Ao YIn is planning to steal it from you...

But to be fair Zhao Yuanzhou's got the right idea... they don't even know how to repair the damn sword...

Ying Lei is such a fucking dumbass.

"Then nothing can go wrong" Well jfc that's just tempting fate. Famous last words if ever I heard em.

Oh god pleeeease, do I really need to remind you, Ying Lei, that Ao Yin is a shapeshifter?!

(Also didn't you tag them with powder that you claimed you can use to track and identify them?)

Oh good, you're not all that stupid.

But seriously you knew Ao Yin would come for it, why would you leave only one person guarding it? And not even your strongest person at that. This is just dumb folks...

Oh? Where the fuck has this come from?

Uuuuhhh did Zhao Yuanzhou intend to let Li Lun have the dragon scale?

Or...

As I suspected!! It's not even in the box! So what is he up to? He suggested they wait to repair the sword and then he removed the scale from the box and sealed the box with a spell he knew Li Lun could break and left it guarded by only one person....

[screechingkroh]

Thinking…

Thinking abt Honkai Star men being dragged to a concert.

(Can be read platonic or romantic)

Sampo is so totally down for it. He just gives the energy of someone who wouldn’t say no to a free concert ticket (AND HONESTLY?? ME TOO BESTIE)

100% gives his all because why the fuck not? And it’s so much fun. Like— BABES. When I tell you that this man probably hypes you up hella hard when you start belting it out— I MEAN IT.

He’s taking pictures, he’s taking videos. (He’s 100% taking advantage of your excitement to get a few free drinks)

Okay— but Sampo would totally be happy for you. And he’s also really happy. Like you’re yelling your lungs out. Singing screaming— it does not matter. Both of your throats are GONE by tomorrow.

Speaking of— Sampo probably almost made you two late. By accident. He just kept forgetting things or tried buying stuff.

It’s fine, after the concert he was a gentleman with guiding you back to the room. You both knock the fuck out though. Your heads hit those pillows and you were GONERS.

It’s NOT Gepard’s first concert. I refuse to believe that man has never attended any of Serval’s concerts. He’s got the best tickets, the best placing, he knows when to get ready and when to go— Dawg is your best man to be with for concerts.

He’s not good at singing, but fuck that. You’re both singing and losing your voices. Both of you are standing and fucking rocking out to the music.

And if Serval is trying to get people onstage?? SHUT UP, YOU TWO ARE TRYING TO GET THE OTHER ONSTAGE. It’s such a funny mess because you guys are too high on energy and pointing at one another.

Doesn’t matter— neither of you are chosen. But that’s okay bc you two are laughing so hard and leaning against each other. Like jfc you guys lost a lung AND your voices.

Gepard had to awkwardly tell Bronya that he couldn’t make it to work today. Why? Oh… you know. No voice, haha.

She knows and is happy he’s getting time to have fun.

Dan Heng?? How tf did you get him to go?

It’s not that hard actually. March and Stelle tag teamed his ass into going.

But that’s fiiine. He’s perfect for navigation and knows where stuff is. He’s got your back with the good hotels and restaurants.

At first, this man is QUIET. He’s nodding his head to the beat, but that’s it. It isn’t until later when the energy is really out there, that you catch him standing.

He probably doesn’t yell or scream like you, March, and Stelle. Dawg probably smiles like a dumbass though and is shaking his head. You guys won’t have voices for shit tomorrow. That’s okay, he can help soothe your sore throats in the morning.

He won’t admit it (he does but not verbally), but he enjoyed the concert. Like he loved seeing you guys let loose and go wild. Makes him feel like shit is gonna be okay.

After the concert is so funny tho. March is riding that energy high, Stelle wants to devour food (and probably inedible stuff), and you’re slowly crashing. So he’s got you leaning against him while trying to convince the other two to get back to the hotel room.

He’s semi-successful.

NOW JING YUAN— I am so biased towards this man. You guys don’t even know.

But he’s slightly unsure what to do, but whatever. He’ll follow your lead.

Fuck the before— DURING?? His hand is hovering over the small of your back. Any open drink you have is covered so it doesn’t spill on your outfit. He’s watching out for you with the softest and happiest smile. Because he’d trade the world for you to be this carefree.

You’re yelling, screaming, singing— you definitely have a sore throat. But that’s okay. He’ll take care of you. He promises.

Bro probably is laughing and smiling so hard. Like— you take his hand and start scream-singing the lyrics and he’s for it. Do that sway stay-in place dance with him. Please. He’s overjoyed every time you face him with that smile.

Okay, but afterwards, he’s probably still dealing with lingering energy. You two are clearly dropping in energy levels, and he’s urging you to the hotel room. Saying stuff “we can see it tomorrow, just rest for now,” while helping you deal with a very sore throat.

… this man has my heart wtf. I am so biased with him.

For Blade? Good luck. I actually don’t know how you’d get his ass to go. But if you do, you’re the safest motherfucker there.

Your drinks? Safe. Your items? Safe. You? Safest person to exist. He’s responsible for your ass now… much to his dismay.

I don’t have a good grasp of his character yet, but I think he’d be a bit irked. Irked… but slightly smug knowing you chose him over Kafka and Silver Wolf. Because, hey, that’s shit he can say he’s done that the other two haven’t.

Oh, but he’s so over it at the end. “Get your merch and let’s go” type bs. Literally picks you up and makes his way to the hotel room— bc we all know he wouldn’t settle for some cheap ass hotel. Dude made sure it was nice enough where there was two beds and easy to secure.

You probably had at least one argument the entire day. Maybe more bc it’s Blade.

It’s fun though bc you’re smiling and don’t put up that bad of a fuss. Especially when he tosses you onto the bed and almost threatens you to sleep.

You knock out about thirty minutes after.

Blade just lets you sleep and debates if he wants to let you deal with that sore throat or not. (Spoiler; he doesn’t)

[eggybug]

guess what time it is! its end of season 4 thoughts time!!!!

they are going to be a lot more insane and outta order than in the past

1. the entire season they were yelling at us that lilith was the final seal and it pissed me off jfc

2. i forgot what it was like to lowkey hate sam, i hate it.

3. so cas was in love the whole time, right? RIGHT. like i know ive been ranting about it all season but are you KIDDING me

4. ruby is a bitch and i hate her so bad. but she was in it for the long game thats for damn sure

5. im REALLY not looking forward to the whole "sam gets haunted by lucifer" bit

6. i love cas, i really do, but he looked right in deans eyes, knew that he was doing this shit to him, and did it anyway. like he was probably tortured by the legions of heaven, but goddamn it

7. when i start making cain and abel comparisons all next season, i don't wanna hear shit about it. itll be my bout of insanity and i apologize in advance

8. i fuckin LOVE bobby

9. no body liked john winchester, they loved him, but they hated the son of a bitch

10. i never got to the point where chuck became TRULY the worst guy ever, but i know we as a fandom hate him, so i hate him.

11. i think demons eat babies and i don't know how i feel about that

12. i don't know who i hate more, uriel or zachariah. maybe im glad cas killed all the angels

13. like i get it but HOW did it take dean so long to realize heaven wanted the war too. they disappeared for weeks while lilith was breaking seals like a bull in a damn china shop

14. they keep doing that thing where one of the capital A angels does something shameful to dean, or dean questions his faith in the "Plan" and the camera cuts to cas looking like a sad puppy

15. ik ive said it 1000 times but goddamn those stupid lil boys need therapy

16. GABRIEL WAS TRYING TO WARN THEM, HE WAS TRYING AND HE COULDNT. THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU GABEY!

17. hey, in the last episode they killed a bunch of nuns, which like damn

18. back to sam, his dumbass really fell for the devil on his shoulder bit jfc

19. like i understand camera work, but two straight men don't stand that close to have a conversation. they just don't.

20. hey sammy, you throw a lady in a trunk, you stop being the good guy

21. at any point did they just consider... not doing that. maybe perhaps, waiting a week?

22. there was a thing with the mirrors and zachariah in the last ep, wasn't there? like that wasn't unintentional. mirrors are notoriously terrible to work with, that can't be unintentional.

23. i love that biblical fanfiction always somehow ends with an angel, a demon, and a human coming together to stop heaven and hell playing out a war on earth.

24. spn just proved you can't leave a bunch of corporate assholes in charge of a planet.

26. im really not looking forward to sam whining about starting the apocalypse for a whole season.

27. dean fighting tooth and nail for cas to see the truth in humanity. to find faith outside of heaven. cas seeing that and it breaking his morale a little bit more and more every time. cas repeatedly seeing dean, perfect vessel, perfect soldier, dean be willing to lose the promise of heaven, of peace for his little bit of humanity. it broke cas. and dean keeps begging cas to see it too. and they're going to drive. me. INSANE.

28. "we're done" those were the exact words dean said to cas.

29. so cas and dean can talk without saying anything, and i hate to say that means they're in love... but thats exactly what that means.

30. cas did it! he broke his faith, he sacrificed himself for dean. and now they're gonna kiss (ik they don't kiss but a boy can dream)

31. have i mentioned that sam pisses me the FUCK off! like yeah i blame ruby but goddamn.

32. this season was hell in a handbasket, jfc (no ounce intended)

omg! season for is done!! woooo! onto the most annoying and lowkey painful season ever! my takes and thoughts for season 5 are going to be annoying, so be prepared !

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Content Warning: Not for Tauriel Lovers, just so you know.

The only way i’ll accept Tauril in my au is if Legolas is Tauril’s minder bc she’s shown some undesirable traites for warriors (recklessness, arrogance, incapable of following orders, etc.) and Legolas is there to supervise her and help decide if she’s allowed to stay a warrior bc at this point, she’s leaning into being a liability more than anything.

Legolas’s thought process throughout the entire movie basically boils down to “jfc Tauriel, and you wonder why you’re on probation”

“You fell in love with a dwarf? Why?”

“No no, it’s not because he’s a dwarf it’s because HE’S A PRISONER YOU’VE ONLY KNOWN FOR LIKE 2 DAYS AND YET YOU WERE READY TO MURDER MY FATHER OVER HIM”

“Tauriel, with all due respect, when Thranduil orders everyone inside and to not leave the realm, that is not a suggestion”

“It also isn’t in order to punish you or them or whatever you’re thinking, it’s because those dumbasses want to wake and enrage a motherfucking dragon.”

*dragon raining fire down from above* “if i die, i’m blaming you”

“I will also blame your dwarf and his companions bc why in the world would they think this was such a good idea?!?”

“Gandalf? GANDALF?? Why the fuck would you trust that flighty maia to know what you need to do???”

“HE’S THE ONE THAT TOLD YOU TO COME THROUGH OUR FORESTS? That’s it, he’s on the list”

“It feels like i’m babysitting. MY OWN DAUGHTER DIDN’T GIVE ME THIS MUCH TROUBLE!”

*stumbles across another orc army that’s about to descend on the lonely mountain* *sighs* “this really is not my job”

*Tauriel points her bow at Thranduil in rage at Thranduil’s refusal to sacrifice all their forces ofr a bunch of dwarfes* “.... if i could, i would kill you right now. Not to worry, even if we live through all this, you will still be arrest for, idk, treason.”

“At this point, i think the dwarf could do so much better than Tauriel.”

[nyxi-pixie]

stuck between "show me the bad takes I love bitching" and "keep that shit away from me I don't need that in my life" anyway.... what.

everything tt has shown me today has made me tear out my eyeballs so now youve asked u have to suffer with me

first up. one or two of these comments and i wld think it was just a joke but almost every fucking comment out of 200 and all the likes too like jfc please😭 im not even convinced they know who she is. 'not my monkey not my circus' THIS WAS A VIDEO ABT SHOKOS CONVO W GETO AFTER THE MURDER SITUATION. (which i dont think youve seen yet?? idk if you ever got to hidden inventory). BUT THAT IS CATEGORICALLY HER CIRCUS.

then some mfer posting their bsd hot takes only to say the same dumbass bs take that every other intellectually deficient fuckwit with an inability to read and a personal vendetta against blue curtains says to be sooo controversial and different. they also used a load of stolen art w/o credit. whos shocked

and finally this shit was on a post abt how mori wld have been shitting bricks when dazai left the pm. and its like. did you not watch dark era. he. planned for dazai to leave. people want dazai to be a super scary edgelord so bad. the day the fandom understands anything abt mori & dazais relationship is the day i find peace.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

UNFILTERED REACTIONS TO PJO SHOW EPISODE 5 (AKA THE PERCABETH EPISODE): yes, spoilers. No, coherence.

PERCY JACKSON WANTED TWELVE YEAR OLD BOY

THE HECKIN FATES

PERCABETH HUGGGG

NOT CAR. THATS ARES THE BIGGEST PUNK IN EXISTENCE.

HAHAHAHAHA

Annabeth: *~*

Percy: don’t be awkward. We can hug. I’m your friend.

Annabeth: I saw the Fates snip your life thread dumbass

Grover your polite ass bean

Gabe you ABSOLUTE ASS

Ares actor is a fun time.

Grover… endearing himself to Ares??

THRILL RIDE OF LOVE HAHAHHA

AB: I’m gonna be weird

PJ: me too

The early Percabeth is Percabeth-ing

WHAT IS LOVE?!?!?

Seaweed Brain is coming. I know it. I can sense it. Deep in my bones.

Ohhhh noooo let’s not sit in the chair.

“I hate my own kids” damn aight sure

Ares is giving grouchy jock brother

“People see what they wanna see and don’t like what doesn’t fit into their preconceived notions” who you talking to, huh, Ares???

Groverrrrrr what’s your angle hereeee

I WAS WRONG ON ALL ACCOUNTS WE HAVE A SEAWEED BRAIN DROP SHE SAID THE THING SHE SAID IT

“This is not the Arch, Seaweed Brain” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOT HIM GIVING RIPTIDE FOR REAL AND STILL MAKING THE SACRIFICE PLAY

That speech. The desperation in their eyes and voices. Jfc if this isn’t Percabeth then idk what could be.

“Can you promise me something?”

“I won’t leave the Underworld without your mom”

“Thank you. I was gonna say, after the quest was done, you could swing back here and try to get me out of this thing?”

“You think you had to ask?”

“Just making sure”

LITERALLY WHAT IS THIS ALL THESE SOFT GAZES HOLY SHIT

“I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m-“ JUST KILL ME DEAD WHY DONT YOU

AND ANNABETH IMMEDIATELY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BREAK IT

TIMOTHY ODMUNSSEN

HEPHAESTUS

WELL. That whole scene went drastically different from the books but you know what. Imma say it. That was a SOLID change. Hephaestus our clunky crafty man. You’re gonna bring us Leo some day.

Percy has fully convinced Annabeth that the gods suck and should do better.

Percy “fucking fight me” Jackson squaring up against the God of War. Don’t we love itttt. Also you miss the monologue of Ares’s aura naturally encouraging aggressive emotions so this was a good way to show it bc Percy gets real bold in challenging a god in this moment but also he’s always been the type.

Making Ares extra obnoxious helps too

Grover my love, I love you. You lil detective bean!!

[eorzean-capitalist]

saw this post earlier about wearing t-shirts of bands you don't even like just to mess with gatekeepers.

I'm reminded of like... 17 year old me. (I think I was 17, the friend who accompanied me to this concert keeps swearing we were 16, idek anymore. I'm old ok?)

Went to see Metallica, for their Black Album tour. It was my birthday present. My friend flew down from Michigan to go with me cause we were both huge fans.

I was a scrappy thing, absolutely in my teenage rebellion phase. Precocious, I guess.

As the opening band played (Candlebox), I got in line to get a t-shirt. There was this guy behind me, and I kinda remember wondering why he was wearing a trench coat. This was before the days of internet memes about M'lady Fedora guys. It was mid-May and the day was actually pretty warm, sunny, and the outdoor arena was packed full of people. Trench coat guy looked kinda weird, that thing had to be hot.

So he starts chatting with me. Remember, I am precocious 17... er maybe 16 year old at this point. I'm at my first metal concert ever and I am absolutely over the moon about it. This guy looks early 30ish, and he's subtly making passes at me. I ain't interested. But it passes the time in line.

So he asks me how old I am and I'm like not going to tell this guy the truth. I think I told him I was 18 or 19. And he starts making noises about me being a baby. And he's "been a fan of the band since the early days".

Insert inner eye roll from me. I had every single one of the band's albums. I was a fan and student of all things Metallica. What's age got to do with this?

So he starts asking me questions, the typical gatekeeping crap. Of course I can answer them. Then he thinks he pulled out his coup de grace I guess. He asks me who their original bassist was.

Which, of course I knew. JFC it was Ron McGovney. And he laughs at me! He laughs cause who tf is that? It was Cliff Burton.

My dude. Don't come at teenage girls with this bull crap if you don't know your own shit. Especially autistic ones who made the band a hyperfixation for years and learned every scrap of dumbass trivia about the band that they could.

And I told him as much, giving him the encyclopedic rundown of Ron's tenure with the band and when he left and the alleged reasons why.

Insert guy behind him laughing. Full on laughing so hard he nearly doubles over. I hadn't even noticed the guy. But he was a big guy, tattooed and muscled arms. Way taller than trench coat guy. (Tbf though, I was also taller than trench coat guy.)

When he finally stops laughing he says, "She's right."

Trench coat guy's face was beet red at this point. I dunno if it was because I showed him up or because the big guy behind us was laughing. Or both. But he bolted out of the line. We were maybe 6 or 7 people away from the t-shirt kiosk by then but he trotted off into the crowd and I did not see him again.

I got my Sad but True t-shirt and the guy behind me asked me to wait up for him. He walked me back to my seat. (His name was Otto, how freaking fitting honestly.) Just in case trench coat guy's ego was so damaged he required revenge to alleviate the damage.

I wonder if Otto even remembers that. And if he sometimes thinks of that kid he overheard schooling some d-bag gatekeeper while standing in line for the t-shirt kiosk.

It's been a great story to tell over the years. I hope trench coat guy eventually snuck back over and got his t-shirt though.

[silver-wield]

jfc. That's really all what I feel about that cosmo canyon scene on twitter. We have idiots claiming that yamazaki can't speak for cloud? Like dude, I wrote scripts for at least 7 years of my life, if the actor doesn't at least know shit about his character, then goddamn the production failed. Of course he can speak for his character, like how any literal actor on Hollywood does, never heard of ad libs or no script scenes? How do you think they're able to do that? Anyway they even end up bringing up the dress scene of aerith. I don't get how they can even think that that Cloud's reaction to that is considered cute. He say "it doesn't matter what you wear anyway" NOT to comfort her but to dismiss that it doesn't matter what her get up is, in context since they just need a stand in to fill up requirements for corneo's thing. In short he gives no shit. I bet they'd even take it as a compliment if cloud says "corneo would approve of your choice". I dunno man, I think if they are capable of thinking that his reaction to the mid and worse dress is favorable then I just know they have a thing for being humiliated and insulted. For the record worse= kinda disgusted ngl, mid= curious innocent like a kid he even has the confused head tilt, best= he doesn't even recognize her smh and the eng ver just send off their delusions, meanwhile the jp ver was more understandable. I mean heck, if she needs a million make over then how is that a compliment!? For every dress she had she really needed to pay just to look pretty!? That's an insult and as a hopeless romantic it's awful! Cloud is capable of complimenting, she's just not his type, he's just not into her at all orz.

Tbh I really don't get why they are those who really want to reel it in that the whole game is ambiguous. Ambiguous and subtle are not the same. The drink scene is subtle because that fits cloud but in reality it's very much obvious. People are gaslighting themselves to think the writers like to give the fans liberty, meanwhile they literally just said again and again that it'll be less room for interpretation. I feel like I'm going stupid. How is this so hard to understand. Anybody who thinks they know how the writer's intention just to suit your taste, reflect again and again. Man.. how does anyone keep sane in this fandom.

It's okay cause now they've decided after 4yrs that it doesn't matter either way, so hopefully this means they'll shut the fuck up about it and we can enjoy our content without them sticking their fat ugly faces in the middle of everything.

Also pretty funny how this dumbass acts like they played but messed up the order of events in the scene, didn't understand the context of the scene and then tries to claim it's jenova driving Cloud to be nice to Tifa anyway.

Literally every excuse they could think of to make it seem like Cloud dgaf about Tifa when everyone involved and all the accompanying sources say he's stupid for her.

They should really just stfu and gtfo.

[misguidedasgardian]

Holy shit theres so much that happened in this chapter jfc but before I get into all of that, I just want to say...

I CANNOT BELIEVE MAEKOR TOOK A PAGE OUT OF HARWIN STRONGS PLAYBOOK AND FATHERED A CHILD WITH A MARRIED WOMAN, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, LIKE FATHER LIKE SON 🤣🤣🤣

BUT OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS EPIC!!!

Now Maekor x Helaena wasn't a ship I was expecting but it's a pleasant surprise. Helaena deserves to be with someone who loves her and omg she named their child Maelor in honor of his father which is even cuter and AHHH I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MORE OF THAT HAPPY FAMILY!

The scenes where Harwin kept grabbing onto his son bc of who he's meant to face in battle alone (which wtf you mean to tell me Rhaenyra didn't send anyone else to come and help?? Harwin even sent them a raven and nothing?!?!? OOOOO RHAENYRA IS IN DEEP SHIT NOW)

Now lets talk about the epic of entrances that has been entered in fanfiction...

OUR BADASS QUEEN WHO SHOULD'VE BEEN COMING IN HOT AND READY FOR BATTLE ON HER FRESHLY HEALED DRAGON GOING AFTER VHAGAR WHO WAS GOING AFTER ONE OF HER DRAGONLINGS

OH MY GOD THE BATTLE SCENE WAS FREAKING AWESOME, I MEAN RIP TO QUEEN VHAGAR BUT YOU WAS GOING AFTER MAEKOR AND HIS DRAGON AND THAT WAS A BIG NO NO

And then my second favorite part of this chapter was Helaena coming down to where they had congregated on Dreamfyre all confident and shit... I might start tearing up again 🤧 telling Aemond no more fighting and Aemond looking relieved that she was alive and that Aemma was alive made me want to give him a hug (after I slap the shit out of him for almost taking Reader out to begin with)

My last but not the least in the slightest part of this chapter definitely had to be the collective fuck 'em to both Rhaenyra & the Hightowers. The way they all decided to stop fighting for Kings and Queens they don't believe in anymore collectively as a whole family 😭😭😭😭 ITS SO BEAUTIFUL! THIS IS WHAT VISERYS WANTED, HIS FAMILY UNITED AND NOW THEY ARE. (hes probably not happy about the fuck Rhaenyra part but Aemma (the older one) is probably telling him off in the afterlife for making dumbass decisions and ignoring their other daughter who was the more obvious choice of being ruler)

My god I can't freaking WAIT for Reader to go to Dragonstone and fuck shit up 👊🏻👊🏻 I want a full blowout between the sisters and I want Reader to knock her ass OUT. MY THIRST FOR VENGENCE IS REAL!

P.S. The softer side of me also can't wait for Harwin and Reader's reunion as well 🥺🥺🥺

I loved this so much! Hahaha

Maekar and Helaena are the cutest if I might say so myself… they had love each other for ages, and Maekar likes his women a little older jiji (like two years but anyways)

I don’t even know what Rhaenyra was thinking 😂 she was protecting her own skin, because a naval battle was happening right off shore of Dragonstone and she was scared, she couldn’t tell anything to Daemon, and she hoped the Strongs (Rhaegar included) could figure it out on themselves

OH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT! I thought it was being too rushed… the battle and all… IM SO GLAD 🥰🥰

Yes poor Vhagar, but for reader and Aemond means to leave a part of their lives behind… like for Aemond means a new beginning and for reader means killing a part, like a rotten part of her allegiances … something like that I suck at metaphors

Yeahh Helaena is getting confident about her “dreams” so she will start following on them, that is what feeling safe with her own dragonslings will make 💕 Poor Aemond what Otto put him trough only to manipulate him! What a Bastard!! He needs a therapist dude… imagine thinking the persons he loves the most are dead… only to be a lie! Anyways

The alliance that should have been from the beginning! Hahaha even though they will not fight for Rhaenyra and Aegon they still face an uglier opponent…

I’m thinking about writing an entire chapter about love reunions! Jajaja pure smuts 💕💕

Thanks my love for this amazing ask! Hahaha I read it a bunch of times! 💕💕

[burntblueberrywaffles]

My 2023 recap (but it's through all my favorites posts I've made this year)

Part 2! (part 1 here)

Aug 14th

Me @ the prequels haters:

Aug 14th

Aug 18th

He did it for me specifically and I thank him every day ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Aug 20th

Me progressively spiraling in my latest sw posts:

Aug 26th

Discovering you’re ace is wild cause like, you guys were serious when you said you wanted to fuck that character/celebrity?

We weren’t just exaggerating and being silly?? UH???

Aug 27th

Watching the end of ROTS: a moodboard

Aug 30th

Having a R2d2 and C3po cameo might be the laziest form of Star Wars fan service but you know what that shit work my dumbass goes “OMG it’s R2 and threepio 🥺🥺🥺” everytime

Aug 31st

Tumblr staff be like: somehow they’re still using desktop, lets add an evil clown

Aug 31st

“I want the main character to end up with this person, even though I hate one of them who sucks and doesn’t deserve to end up with such a good-”

My brother in Christ call me crazy but I don’t think you actually love this ship. Read an x reader or x OC fanfic at this point jfc.

Sept 4th

Me sending a feedback report to complain every time tumblr makes another idiotic change:

Sept 10th

I’m always so scared to assemble it

Sept 15th

I love doing research, I am not tearing my hair out (lying)

Sept 21st

Im so good at forgetting my blorbo is a child murderer you wouldn’t even believe

Sept 29th

Lowest luminosity setting is not low enough why is my iPhone a fucking beacon of light burning my retina with the force of a thousand suns

Sept 30th

Me every few months:

Oct 4th

Oct 18th

Me reading fanfic titles on ao3 after first becoming a Taylor Swift fan:

Oct 28th

My boy was so sleep deprived this would have fixed him.

Oct 29th

Can’t believe you hate on my ship just because it’s toxic, unhealthy and has disastrous consequences for everyone around them. Grow up. 🙄

Nov 11th

I have beef with TCW Anakin

Nov 14th

When people go “ew why would you be into this ship when it’s toxic and problematic” and I’m just

Sometimes you don’t need another reason than "it makes my brain go brrrrr” it’s fiction babes it doesn’t have to be good or healthy ❤️

Nov 15th

I thought “oh it would be fun to randomly send a kitten picture to this one mutual” and then I went insane 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ sorry about that besties

(this isnt a good post but since i'm making this as a 2023 recap I want to commemorate that time I sent kitties to all the beloved mutuals LOL)

Nov 18th

I love these “what do you most associate with [insert US state]” polls bc my non-American ass is always:

Baby I literally have no idea what you’re talking about ❤️

Nov 17th

hate when people are like “why would Padme be into cringefail Anakin it’s so unrealistic”

Like, um, CLEARLY she saw his pathetic weepy eyes and immediately decided she wanted to fuck that. What’s hard to understand.

Nov 20th

I think when you break up with someone their memory of you should be wiped men in black style thank you

Nov 22nd

Philosphy class be like

Nov 25th

Me when the known mass murderer starts murdering

#you’re telling me my genocidal babygirl is in fact genocidal???

Nov 26th

The thing about philosophy class is that most of these dudes you have to learn about just suck.

“Ohhhh humans only use each other and every relationship is only built on the potential advantages you can get from it” So your heart has never exploded thinking about how much you love your friends?? Sounds like a you problem.

Nov 28th

Snow being judgmental and having a constant sense of superiority…. brother you can’t even buy a new shirt HUMBLE YOURSELF

Nov 28th

Me starting the Ballad of songbirds and snakes and reading snow’s inner monologue: this guy sucks lmao I will NOT be rooting for him and Lucy Gray to be together 🙅‍♀️

Snow:

Me: oh goddamn it

Dec 1st

“I liked this thing before it was cool!“ Boohoo you’re not special. You just stumbled upon it before other people, congratulations.

"I still like this thing after it was cool, now that public opinion has shifted from being overly positive to considering it bad and cringe” now that takes strength. Courage. Who I aspire to be.

Dec 3rd

Snow: is always nice to Sejanus, helps him distribute food to the tributes, offers him a seat, gives him advice, CALLS HIM HIS FRIEND, save his life-

Also Snow: wtf this bitch thinks we’re friends????

#babyboy you are so stupid

Dec 4th

Me when I see my friend sadposting: I will smother you with kisses and love. Do you need me to kill someone btw

Also me, when I’m sad posting and friends send me encouragements: Friend??? 🥺 Friend cares about me??? 🥺🥺 friend wants to cheer me up? 🥺🥺🥺

Dec 7th

Tumblr rn feels like a landlord trying to make its tenant leave by not fixing shit and cutting utilities, but unfortunately for everyone involved, I am a rat

Dec 10th

No but seriously no one should try being tumblr famous, this website is for one thing only, and that’s having a silly time with your friends and mutuals 😤

Dec 12th

If your mutuals don’t say hi in the tags when they reblog one of your popular posts from someone else then what is it all for

Dec 12th

“Ew liking unhealthy ships is so toxic-”

“Actually toxic ship are INTERESTING unlike those boring healthy ships that have no flavour-”

Meanwhile me, who can appreciate and enjoy any ship dynamics:

Dec 18th

I’m like an old man shouting at clouds except I’m a 20 years old trying to make everyone listen to La Lumière by pomme asdagshdjfk

#I don’t think anyone is buying what I’m selling but I shall keep trying 😔

Dec 20th

Snow when being friendly to Sejanus results in becoming friends with Sejanus

#bro was really like: you’re telling me the person I’ve been treating well and interacting with regularly thinks I’m his friend??? #and that everyone else also think we’re friends???? #like yeah bby that is how friendship works ❤️

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Oh my stars indeed! What an epically unhinged reblog. I fucking love it! 😍😍😍

I am BEYOND happy you feel like he is different. I was so worried they would be too similar. I think I have managed to not do that with him or Kat. Kat is indeed feisty when she wants to be. I think D is going to give her the courage to take that up a few notches, especially in regard to Alec. Yes, Alec is the villain (or maybe one of them?) in this story. He is not a good person.

Look, Stacia is kind of a dumbass. She isn't as slick as she thinks she is. Or maybe Kat and D are just too smart? I'm not sure which. 🤭

Sabotage is an interesting choice of words...let's just say there are a lot of moves happening behind the scenes that Kat and D don't know about. It's a very elaborate game of chess. There is a lot of 'let's throw some fire on this flame and see what happens' type of thinking that is happening...

Dick move indeed...Alec will be making a lot of those.

I am totally using that hashtag going forward. In regard to your plant questions...I have a special post coming about that. 😘

They really are going to have a sweet (yet pining) relationship at first. I love their dynamic together.

Damn, y'all are onto me about the nickname. Too obvious? LOL Her response to it though...she embarrasses herself a bit. That will be the best part.

Your maniacal laughter has me laughing. Yes, here we go. It doesn't take long at all. 😂

Hmmm...Kat may or may not speak out on his behalf occasionally. We shall see what happens with that. 😉

This is one thing I love about these two...they joke. They laugh. They have fun. Dieter is not used to having this type of relationship with his castmate.

JFC, wouldn't it be awesome to see Dieter doing Latin dancing though? I would die a slow, but happy death to that.

Closed Position: Week 1 (Introductions)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Word Count: 7.1K

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, alcohol abuse, and drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

Week 1 Quote: "Fuck. I might be in trouble."

Dieter’s POV

“Lenny, have you seen this fucking schedule? It’s seven days a week for twelve weeks. When do I get a break?” 

Lenny, my agent, sighed through the speaker phone, “D, I told you this was going to be a lot of work before you agreed to do it. You shouldn’t be surprised…and besides, that’s only if you make it to the finals.”

I scoffed, “Thanks for the vote of confidence…asshole.” Lenny chuckled on the other end of the line. We both went quiet for a moment as I continued to flip through the packet of paper that Lenny had sent over for review, “I don’t even get to have any say on the wardrobe or music. Such bullshit…sucking all the fun out of it. Did you at least drop a bug in their ear about who I’ll be partnered with? If I get stuck with someone I don’t want, I’m gonna be fucking miserable.” 

“I did, but the producers said they always do the partner matching themselves. They have a formula…or something. Maybe bring it up again at this morning's meeting and explain why. They may listen to you on it.” 

I huffed as my eyes continued skimming over the weekly schedule, “I have to get a fucking spray tan every week? You have GOT to be kidding me…Lenny, you know I don’t like using carcinogenic chemicals on my body.” 

“Uhhh, no comment on that…Look, I’ll put in a call and see if they can use something natural for that.” 

I relaxed some, “I would appreciate that. Thank you. Tell them I have an allergy or something…just make it happen.” 

I tossed the packet onto the table and picked up my phone, taking it off speaker and putting it to my ear - now pacing as I spoke, “Well, it looks like I’m gonna be pretty busy for a bit. That’ll be a nice distraction. It beats being locked inside the house at least.”  

Lenny hesitated, but still asked, “How are you doing with everything? Still managing ok?” 

I sighed, “Yeah, I mean I’m going to therapy and all the meetings still. I’ve been doing ok…just trying to keep the stress levels down. That’s what gets to me the most.” 

“How long has it been?”

I looked at the date on my watch, “Eight months today…actually. It’s the longest I’ve ever been clean, and I plan to stick to it this time. I’m feeling good and I want to keep it that way.” 

“Everyone is really proud of you, D. You know that, right? Keep at it and we'll have you back on top in no time.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, knowing that it was an uphill battle, “I appreciate that, but good luck getting people to change their opinion of me. I’m not sure if my reputation is salvageable at this point. Everyone seems to think my sobriety is some sort of joke. No one is taking it seriously.”

I could hear Lenny inhale deeply on the other end of the phone, “It’s just going to take time, D. Don’t give up yet.” 

I pursed my lips in thought, “Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I need to get ready for this meeting. We’ll talk later, yeah?”

“Yeah, definitely let me know how it goes.”  

Once I hung up the phone with Lenny, I took a quick shower, then spent longer than I should have staring at the clothes hanging in my closet - trying to pick something that says I have my shit together. My therapist kept reminding me that if I dressed like a slob, people were going to treat me like one. So, I was putting more effort into making myself presentable before I left the house these days. Since it was a work meeting, I went for a business casual look, figuring I couldn’t go wrong with that. After styling my hair and getting dressed, I grabbed my keys, phone, wallet, and sunglasses and headed out the front door.

As I approached my car, which was parked in the driveway, I noticed there was a dead bird on the hood. The fluffy gray, brown, and white stray cat that had been hanging around my house was sitting next to it, looking rather proud of himself. I sighed, “Come on dude, really?” And this is why I need to get the garage cleaned out. I hit the clicker to open the garage door so I could get a broom to knock the bird off the hood. As I waded through the mountain of empty boxes from my move six months ago, I cursed myself for taking my sweet time getting that stuff out of the house. Finally finding the broom, I quickly moved to get the dead bird off of the car and shooed the cat away. He didn’t look happy about it as he moved to sit on the pathway in front of the house, watching me until I was finally on my way to Television City Studios to meet with the producers of Dancing with the Stars. 

When I arrived at the studio, I was met by the two executive producers, Stacia and Joe and led into a conference room. I let them do their spiel about what’s expected and the schedule. Nodding along in all the right places, being as polite as possible even though I hated how little say I had over anything. Once they moved on to the topic of how they choose partners, I spoke up for the first time, “I would really like to have input on my partner.” They both moved to speak before I held up my hand to signal that I wasn’t finished talking. 

“Look, I know you all have your formula or whatever, but I have a legitimate reason for asking. As I’m sure you’re aware, I’ve been trying to clean up my image. I’ve been sober for eight months and I would really like to be placed with someone that doesn’t have a reputation for partying…someone who isn’t gonna be a negative influence on me. It’s actually really important to me because I’m actively avoiding being around anyone who is into that kind of lifestyle.” Which is why I spend most of my time alone.  

Stacia and Joe looked at each other, obviously surprised at my reasoning for the request. They were actually stunned into silence. Since neither of them said anything, I continued, “I had my team check into the dancers, and based on their recommendation…I’m requesting that Katarina Stamos be my partner. She has a good reputation and I’m also told she’s very professional and isn’t judgmental…because that’s been an issue here lately that I’d really like to not have to deal with.”

Stacia’s brow furrowed, “Are you looking to actually win? Because Kat hasn’t won a single season that she’s been with us.”

I narrowed my eyes on her. What an asshole thing to say about someone. “Well, maybe that’s because you keep giving her shitty partners.” 

I gave Stacia a sarcastic smile. She had the audacity to look offended by that statement. I had watched the show and seen the people Katarina was partnered with. It was always the older guys that could hardly move. Stacia’s attitude made me more determined to have Katarina as a partner just to prove a fucking point on her behalf. 

Joe interrupted the silent standoff that Stacia and I now seemed to be having, “Alright, let’s think about this…” He turned to Stacia, “Physically, they work together. Their height and proportions are a good match…and Kat is very patient. She would work well with him. Also, if he wishes to be with someone who isn’t into partying, Anika is not the person he needs to be with.”

Stacia looked frustrated and unwilling to give in as she glared at her counterpart. Joe smirked, “If you're worried about the change in narrative, it’s possible there may be other options we haven’t considered.” 

What the fuck does that mean? I leaned forward on my elbows, “What narrative?” 

They both turned to look at me, Stacia now had a sly smile on her face. It was Joe who answered, “We always consider the possible narratives that could come up between partners. How they’ll interact and get along personality wise. It’s an important factor for the show.”

I felt a crease form between my brows, “So basically, you try to manufacture drama for TV.”  

Joe shook his head, “Not exactly, I mean ultimately, yes. We just take personalities and such into account when we pair the dancers with their celebrities. I mean, we do want everyone to get along with their partner, obviously.”   

So, you’re fucking meddlers. Got it. I arched my brows, giving them a tight smile as I nodded, going along with what they were telling me. I now realized I would have to keep an eye on these two. I didn’t feel like they had my best interest in mind. Especially if they were initially planning to put me with the known party girl. 

I cleared my throat before speaking again, “So what does that mean…do I get to work with Katarina or not?” 

Stacia looked at me, now smiling, “I think that may actually be a good match now that I think about it. So yeah, we’ll let you work with Kat. Hopefully you’ll both make it through to finals.” 

What is this woman’s deal? Geez Louise. I eyed them both suspiciously for a moment, “Ok, good. Now I’m finally a little excited about this.”   

They went over a few more details about the schedule before taking me out to meet with a production assistant, who was tasked with giving me a tour of the building and showing me where my dressing room would be. This part of my day couldn’t end soon enough… 

Katarina’s POV

As I was pulling into the Television City Studios parking lot for the first day of my last season on Dancing with the Stars, my phone pinged with a text from Alec, my fiancée.

Alec: I finished up my meeting with production. Are you here? Have you had yours yet?

I leaned my head back against the seat. What the hell has he been doing? I know his meeting was over an hour ago.

Me: Just parked, I have mine in 10 minutes. I’m on my way in…Meet you in the lobby. 

A few minutes later, I found Alec in the lobby. He seemed more excited than he normally was on the first day as he greeted me with a quick kiss on the cheek. 

I leaned away from him, “What’s got you so smiley this morning?” I could tell he was trying to temper it down and have a more neutral expression on his face as he shrugged, “I didn’t realize I was. Guess I’m just excited to see you.” 

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. What are you hiding now you asshole. He didn’t know how well I could read him at this point. 

I arched a brow instead of returning his smile, “So, I assume you found out who your partner is gonna be?”

He continued his attempts at a neutral expression, “Yeah, Lana Thompson…she’s an actress, I think. There was apparently a last minute change to the lineup this morning. You know her?” 

I gave him a tight smile, “Yeah…I know her. She has a bit of a reputation…”  

He feigned ignorance, “Oh? I don’t know anything about her. I’m sure she’ll turn out to be one of those stuck up, bitchy types like the rest of ‘em. Ya know, you’re lucky it’s your last season so you don’t have to deal with these people anymore.” 

And there it is. He doth protest too much. He was excited to be paired with her, I could tell. He saw it as an opportunity. As far as I knew, he hadn’t strayed to another woman in some time, but that didn’t mean he had changed. He still hadn’t earned my trust back and his current excitement only made me more suspicious of his commitment. 

Alec could sense the tension taking hold of my body as he rubbed at my lower back, “Everything ok, baby?”

I gave him a half-hearted smile, “Yeah, just peachy. I’ve gotta go or I’m gonna be late. I’ll catch up with you after.” 

As I was walking down the hallway toward the conference room, I saw Lana Thompson exiting the bathroom. I suspected Alec had already met his partner and liked her more than he let on. Which probably explains why it took him as long as it did to text me. 

When I entered the conference room, Stacia and Joe sat huddled together. They seemed to be engrossed in whatever they were whispering about, but abruptly stopped talking once they realized I was lingering in the entryway. They both smiled, almost over enthusiastically as they welcomed me and motioned for me to have a seat. They studied me for a moment before Stacia finally spoke, “How are things going with you?” 

That’s an odd question and an odd tone. I wasn’t sure what kind of answer she was looking for, “It’s going good, why?” 

She gave me a small smile, “I know it’s your last season because you have things going on…but do you think you’re feeling up to the possibility of making it to finals?” 

I gave her a confused look, “What is that supposed to mean?” 

Joe leaned forward, “What Stacia is trying to say is…the person we have you partnered with this time is going to be a little more physically able than your usual partners. So, you may be in it for the full twelve weeks…if you can pull it off. Are you physically able to handle it?” 

Should I be offended by that? It’s not like I can’t function. It was just painful some days, especially when there were a lot of rehearsals. My joints couldn’t handle the Latin dances like they used to - the jerky movements exacerbating the inflammation and discomfort. That didn’t mean they had to treat me like a fragile porcelain doll though. 

I narrowed my eyes at them, “Of course I can handle it. I could handle it this entire time…which is why I’ve been asking for more capable partners.” 

Joe smiled, “Well, good. Maybe you can go out with a bang this season.” 

What the fuck was this about? I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as I tried to figure out their angle. There was always an angle with them, “Why do I feel like you’re trying to sell this to me?” 

Joe grimaced slightly. “We’re not trying to sell it, but we do worry you won’t be happy about it.” 

I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back into the seat, “Who is it?” 

Stacia smirked, “It’s Dieter Bravo.”

I looked between the two of them, “You’re joking?” 

They shook their heads in unison. This didn’t make sense. Wouldn’t he be better suited with one of the girls that enjoyed a lifestyle similar to his? 

“What makes you think he and I will work well together? I know I have a lot of patience, but it does have its limits.” 

Joe chuckled, “His people requested you specifically. He’s actually eight months sober and they want him with someone who isn’t going to get him into trouble. He’s trying to clean up his image.” 

I scoffed, “I thought you didn’t let the celebrities have any say in who they’re partnered with?”

Joe leaned forward onto the table, “We don’t normally, but given his request and the reasons for it, we felt we should make an exception. We were thinking of putting him with you anyway.”

I shook my head, “You are aware of his reputation, right? Alec is gonna lose his shit over this.” 

Stacia smiled, “It’s not your or Alec’s choice. We run the show.”

It dawned on me then. Alec had said there was a last minute lineup change this morning and that’s why he was put with Lana. I had somehow managed to fly under the radar when it came to the producers' manufactured bullshit, but now I was right in the middle of it. They were making moves to create an underlying narrative for the show. 

“Who was he partnered with originally? I know it wasn’t me.” 

Stacia looked surprised by my question, “He was never partnered with anyone else before you.”

Stacia was lying. She couldn’t look at me directly when she answered my question - it was her tell. I knew how their minds worked. Dieter Bravo had a reputation for causing trouble and they were looking to exploit it. I’m sure his request caused a hiccup in their plans, so now they were making adjustments to cause drama surrounding him any way they could. 

My eyes shifted between the two of them, “I don’t know what your endgame is here, but I have no intention of playing, just so you know.”

Stacia and Joe sat expressionless, not giving anything away. I assumed they expected this sort of response from me. My tendency to push back at their plans was one of the reasons I wasn’t a favorite of theirs and most likely part of the reason they always worked to get me off the show as soon as possible, every season. Which sucked for my bank account. To add to their reasoning, I wasn’t interesting enough since I never had issues with my partners or whirlwind romances that made for good TV. However, this season they were taking a chance, throwing two bombs in the form of Lana and Dieter into my already tumultuous relationship with Alec. Hoping for an exciting outcome that would play out behind the scenes to stir up tabloid fodder and result in free promotion for the show.  

Joe sighed, finally speaking to break the tension in the room, “For what it’s worth, we met with Dieter earlier this morning…he was actually very pleasant and agreeable. I don’t think he’ll be an issue for you, so long as he continues to stay sober.”

My brows furrowed, “It sounds like you have a lot of faith in him. Good to know.” I moved to stand, “Well, if there isn’t anything else you need from me…”

Joe smiled weakly in my direction, “No, I think that’s it for now…just make sure you review the schedule and let us know if you have questions.” 

I gave them a sarcastic smile before moving to leave the conference room. As I rounded the corner in the hallway, looking down at the floor lost in my thoughts and frustration, I ran into someone. I started mumbling my apologies as I looked up at the stranger. I was met with a mess of curls, piercing dark eyes, and a dimpled lop-sided grin. It was Dieter fucking Bravo looking like he just stepped out of a GQ magazine. 

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he said through a chuckle with his hands on my shoulders to catch me from running head first into him. We stared at each other in silence for a moment. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, he can’t call me that.  

He had a slight smirk on his face now, “Katarina, right? Looks like we’re gonna be dance partners.” 

I shook my head, my lips set in a tight line, “Don’t call me that.” 

His brow furrowed, “What? Katarina?” 

I scoffed, “No, sweetheart. I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. It’s inappropriate. You can call me Kat like everyone else.” 

He was obviously taken off guard by my cold demeanor as he gave me a confused look, “I didn’t…mean anything by it, I-I call everyone sweetheart.” 

I nodded, “Well, you're not gonna call me that.”

He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a beat, “I guess I’ve earned that. Sorry, I won’t do it again.” 

I inhaled deeply, biting my bottom lip as I did so. It didn’t go unnoticed that his eyes shifted down to my mouth. “Look, this is my last season and I just wanna get through it without any drama, ok?”

A crease formed between his brows as his jaw ticked to the side, “What makes you think I’m gonna cause drama?”

I shook my head, now realizing how big of a jerk I was being, “Umm…I…”

He continued to stare at me with a burning intensity, “Just so you know, I’m sober…have been for eight months. Drama is not my thing these days…”

I gave him a tight smile, “Good…hopefully you can stick to it.”  Fuck. That did not come out how I meant for it to.

I could see his jaw muscles flex before he let out a small laugh. His eyes finally shifted downward. He almost looked hurt by that comment. 

I sighed, “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” 

His brows arched as he peered at me through his lashes, “You know, I requested to be partnered with you because I was told that you're professional and wouldn’t be judgmental about my past…I guess I heard wrong. I suppose I should just expect it at this point, right? Maybe I shouldn’t have such high expectations of others.” 

My mouth fell open as I shook my head. I’m such a fucking asshole. He didn’t give me a chance to say anything before he spoke again, “I guess I’ll see you at rehearsals tomorrow. Have a good afternoon.” He gave me a sad smile as he brushed past me. I stood there with my mouth hanging open like an idiot watching him as he walked toward the exit. That was a great first impression. Good job, Kat. 

“Who was that?” Alec asked from behind me. 

I turned, running my fingers through the top of my hair out of frustration, “That was my new dance partner.” 

Alec squinted toward the figure standing near the exit, now stopping to look at his phone, “Is that Dieter Bravo?” 

I could feel my jaw tighten as I took in Alec’s expression, “Yes, it is.” Alec’s head snapped toward me, “I don’t want you working with him.” 

I smiled sarcastically, “Really? And you think I have a choice in that? They made it clear, there is no other option. I asked.”

Alec shook his head, “You could just not do this season. You're quitting anyway. Why not go ahead and drop out?” 

My eyes widened at his suggestion, “Because I need the fucking money, you know that.” 

He chuckled, “Right, for the dance studio.” 

I scoffed, “Yeah, for the dance studio. I don’t understand why you can’t support me on that.” 

Alec didn’t acknowledge my question, “This guy is a known womanizer. I’m not comfortable with this.” 

My head tilted to the side, “So you don’t trust me. That’s rich coming from you. You know…I’m not excited about your partner either, but I didn’t tell you to drop out. If anyone has a right to be concerned, it’s me.” 

Alec moved in closer, causing me to back up against the wall as he got in my face. His eyes were blazing with anger, “You’re never gonna let that shit go, are you? That was ten months ago, and I have been loyal to you ever since. Yet here you are…still throwing it in my fucking face.” 

I had a sudden defiant streak hit me, “You’re the one who brought it up by insinuating that you couldn’t trust me. I’m just reminding you who the problem is in this relationship.” 

Alec moved to put his hand on the wall next to my head as he leaned in further - his nose nearly touching mine as I turned my stoney face away from him, “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again,” he spat out.   

I could feel his eyes drift over my face for a moment before he pulled away and walked off. 

I huffed out a quiet “Fuck” as I exhaled a shaky breath and watched him walk toward the dressing rooms. When I glanced back toward the exit, Dieter was still standing there, frozen in place with his phone halfway to his ear. Once he realized I was looking his way, his head dropped downward, and he slowly turned to exit the building.   

 Dieter’s POV 

As I walked out into the scorching afternoon sun, I ended the call to check my voicemail, deciding I wasn’t in the mood to hear it. I was frustrated by my first interaction with Katarina. It didn’t go how I expected, and honestly, she had hurt my feelings. Based on everything I had heard about her, I didn’t think she would throw my past up in my face like that. At least not immediately, if at all. She did seem a little flustered, maybe she was just having a bad day? 

What followed after our exchange was even more bizarre. It looked like she was having a tense conversation with the man that I assumed was the one she was dating. Lenny had mentioned she was engaged to one of the other dancers. When the man first leaned in, I initially thought they were just having a private moment, but then I noticed the look on Kat’s face as she turned away from him. Something about it was unsettling and for a brief moment, I considered interrupting them. Luckily, I didn’t have to. However, I was left feeling that I had witnessed something I wasn’t supposed to.

Even though our conversation didn’t go as well as I hoped, I was still struck with how beautiful Katarina was in person. Pictures and TV didn’t do her justice. It was probably a good thing she was seeing someone, otherwise I would be in danger of making a fool of myself. Then again, I probably would anyway. My sober self didn’t seem to know how to act around a pretty lady. My confidence and self-assurance definitely weren’t on the same level these days. 

When I got home, I spent more time than I would like to admit staring at my reflection in the mirror - trying to remind myself that I was no longer the piece of shit that everyone still saw me as. It was still hard for me to accept that the old me and the new me were two very different people. Some days it really did seem like it was easier being the old Dieter Bravo, because he didn’t care about how he was perceived by others. I often longed for him to come back, just to quiet the thoughts of self-hate and inadequacy. Those thoughts really could be suffocating and hard to overcome. It was near impossible living with myself on those days.

The anticipation of how our first rehearsal would go was starting to get to me. So, I decided to spend the rest of the evening trying to relax and take my mind off things. With classical music blaring from the sound system, I moved through the house to check in on my plants - watering, misting leaves, and pruning. It was a new hobby I had picked up since rehab. It started with one succulent plant that had seen better days. My neighbor had left it sitting next to the trash bin on garbage collection day. For some reason, I had an urge to attempt to save the shriveled mass. After a few weeks, it was showing new life as the deep purple hues started to form on the leaves. My plant obsession bloomed from there. Now I wasn’t even sure how many I had. I was fairly certain my housekeeper was going to quit if I brought any more home. 

After I was finished with the plants, I spent some time painting until I couldn’t hold my eyes open any longer. It was nearing midnight by the time I had showered and crawled into bed. Even though I was completely exhausted, I couldn’t shut my mind off. The anxiety was now building to problematic levels. It was always at this point that I thought about using the most. By now, the old Dieter would be a couple lines in and a few drinks deep to block out the thoughts. The new Dieter suffers through it as he lay in bed alone, staring into the darkness. I drug both hands down my face and huffed loudly before moving to switch on the lamp beside the bed. I reached for my latest self-help book and began reading.  

I was startled awake by my 7 AM alarm. I groaned as I felt around next to me on the bed for the shrilling phone to shut it off. I sat up, still half out of it, causing the book that had been lying on my chest to fall to the floor with a loud thump. I got up from bed, wiping the sleep from my eyes as I walked toward the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I stood staring at my reflection again, “You look like shit, Bravo.” It was clear I hadn’t gotten much sleep from my dark circles and puffy eyelids. I threw a warm rag over my eyes for a few minutes in hopes that would help.

Standing in my closet staring at the pile of gym clothes my stylist had picked up, I selected a random pair of shorts and a t-shirt, then pulled the tags off. We weren’t allowed to wear anything with brands or logos on filming days, so I had to break down and buy more clothes. It was probably for the best, my old gym clothes were looking a little ratty anyway.    

Once I was dressed, I grabbed my backpack that had a few essentials in it and headed toward the front door. As I stepped out onto the porch and pulled the door shut behind me, I was greeted by my furry squatter who had left another gift near the steps - a dead mouse. I sighed, “Well, at least it’s not on top of the car this time…” The fluffy menace meowed at me as he rubbed against my legs, as if to say, “Look what I did!” 

I was determined to not give in to the furry intruder, so I disregarded his attempts for pets. “Don’t you have a family somewhere to annoy?” I muttered to him as I continued toward the car. He followed me halfway down the pathway before sitting down and flicking his tail around as he watched me get into the driver's side and shut the door. He didn’t look happy about being ignored. 

I gave myself a quick glance in the rearview mirror, reaching to comb down my hair with my fingers. I hadn’t bothered to fix it, knowing it was going to turn into a mess no matter what I did to it. Then, I started the car and drove in silence to the dance studio, not even really sure how I got there as I pulled into the parking lot. I found myself wondering if I had run any redlights as I walked through the main entrance. I felt like I was in a haze as the camera team talked to me in the lobby to fill me in on the plans for filming. 

They wanted to do a brief interview with me before I went into the studio with Katarina. They wanted me to give the whole spiel about how excited I was to be here and working with my dance partner. Truth is, I wasn’t excited. I was nervous as hell, and I was supposed to act like this was the first time I was meeting her. I was unsure of how to act toward her, so when the time came for me to walk through the door to greet her and act excited, I turned on the Dieter Bravo charm the best I could and pretended like yesterday’s conversation never happened.

I was surprised to find how well Katarina did the same thing as she came over to greet me with a smile and a hug and gushed about how excited she was to work with me. However, we were both avoiding looking at the other directly. Clearly there was still some lingering awkwardness between us. After they filmed the introduction, they wanted to get some quick shots of us rehearsing. 

These first few days of rehearsal were meant for learning the basics. We were not actually getting into the first routine yet. We started with some simple stretches and moved into learning the proper frame, the different types of positions, and spacing for the different types of dances. It was all very high level and fast, but Katarina had promised that we would go over it in more detail once the film crew left for the day. The quick pace was mostly for the benefit of the film crew so they could get what they needed and move on to the next couple. 

Once filming was done for the day, we took a seat on the floor for a water break as the crew gathered up all of their gear to leave. We mostly sat in awkward silence until we were finally alone. I could feel Katarina’s eyes on me as I stared at the water bottle in my hand. She spoke first. 

“I feel like I should apologize about yesterday…I was having a shit day and kind of took it out on you. I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t mean what I said.” 

I pursed my lips and shrugged, “It’s fine. I’m used to it at this point.” 

She reached out and grasped my wrist with her left hand, the heat of her touch raced through me as I looked at the glittering ring on that finger for a moment before meeting her eyes, “It doesn’t mean that it should keep happening though. It’s not right and it’s not fair to you. Everyone deserves a second chance.” 

I huffed out a small laugh, “Yeah, except I’m on like my tenth chance. I understand why no one takes me seriously. Really, it’s not that big of a deal.” 

Her face softened as she stared at me for a beat, like she was trying to decide what she wanted to say next. Then she shifted her body to face me as she crossed her legs, “It is a big deal. It’s a big deal to me because I know better. You know…” 

She paused, appearing to gather her thoughts. I moved to lean back on my hand and face her more fully with my legs stretched out to the side. My teeth bit into my bottom lip as I watched her face shift to a somewhat pained expression. It was brief, but I still caught it before she gained her composure. 

“My uhh…my dad was sober for about 14 years before he passed. I know how hard it was for him in the beginning…with everyone doubting him and not giving him a chance. It’s one of the reasons he relapsed the first few times. It can be hard when you don’t have any support from the people around you. I know that…and I don’t wanna be one of those people. You haven’t given me any reason to doubt you, so I wanna make sure I’m giving you a fair shot and support you as long as you’re actively trying to better yourself. I know first-hand that people do change.”

Is she fucking serious? I couldn’t move or speak. She had stunned me again for the second day in a row. I never would have guessed she would share something so personal, especially on our first day together. She seemed sincere in her apology.   

I finally managed a curt nod before I reached to rub at the crease between my brows, “Thanks…I uhh…I appreciate that.”  I let out a small laugh, “I appreciate it more than you probably realize, actually.” 

She gave me a tentative smile, “Does that mean I’m forgiven for being an asshole then?” 

I chuckled, “Of course…and I didn’t think you were an asshole. Not really. I had a feeling you were having a bad day.”

“Whew…ok. Good. I was worried I had already fucked this whole thing up before it started.” 

Ok, it’s kind of hot when she says fuck. I smirked, “Does this mean I get to call you sweetheart now?” 

She narrowed her eyes on me and shook her head, “No. No sweetheart.” She laughed quietly, “But, I might consider a different nickname if you come up with a good one.” 

My lips spread into a cheeky smile, “I think I can come up with something.” She laughed into the top of her water bottle as she took a sip with a slight flush creeping up her neck. Am I flirting right now? I don’t even know what I’m doing. Geez. I looked away in an attempt to reign myself in. I can’t be doing that.  

We were soon back at it, now with a more relaxed atmosphere. We again started with getting my frame right. I stood in place as she moved my arms to the proper position, pushing in between my shoulder blades to straighten my posture. After several minutes in the position, I couldn’t help the groan that slipped out, “This is gonna do a number on my back muscles, isn’t it?” 

She snickered, “You will definitely have better posture by the time I’m done with you. Now, elbows up, you should have a horizontal line from elbow to elbow…and hold it there.” 

She then stood in front of me, taking in my form for a moment before manipulating my hands into the proper position. 

Smiling, she nodded in satisfaction as she stepped closer, “Ok, now let’s go over the hold. The hold is important because it’s how we connect…how our bodies communicate movement to lead and follow.” 

As she spoke, she moved closer, placing her arm along the top of my right one and clasping my left hand in hers. She was very matter of fact with her words as her eyes bore into mine. It was almost distracting. 

“I need you to make sure there’s no space between our arms…here, so keep your elbow flush against mine.” She bounced her arm against the top of my right one to emphasize what she meant. “This is an important connection point because I can feel the pressure from your arm, which will tell me how to follow. As for your left hand, keep it at my eye level. We apply pressure here as well for another connection point.”    

All I could do was nod along with her words, completely mesmerized by her intensity. Once she felt we had the hold down, she began to explain the differences in spacing for standard ballroom versus Latin dances. 

“So…in Latin style dances, we’ll have more space between us…like we are now. It gives us more room to move. We’re gonna be slightly offset from each other while maintaining this closed position. Got it?”

I nodded again as I chewed on the inside of my cheek. I wanted to look at her directly, but I couldn’t. Between her eyes burning into me and the tingling from her touch, I felt like my skin was on fire. I didn’t know what to make of it and it was sort of fucking with my head.

Then she stepped even closer, the front of our bodies nearly flush as she slightly adjusted the position of our arms. I swallowed hard over her proximity and the tangy citrus scent that was now invading my senses. Fuck. I might be in trouble. 

“For standard dances, like the Waltz and Foxtrot, we’re gonna be closer…like this. Our frame will be a little wider and our arms will be positioned slightly lower. We’ll both be looking off to our left instead of directly at each other.”   

I cleared my throat, stepping back slightly, “Sooo…umm…do we look off to the left for Latin dances?” 

Her brows arched as her eyes widened, “Good question. I should have mentioned that. There’s typically more direct eye contact in the Latin dances. It’s actually another form of connection…another way for us to communicate without words.”

She moved back into the Latin dance hold, now making direct eye contact with me. I couldn’t help how my eyes roamed over her face, taking in the minor changes in her expression as she spoke. I wasn’t sure if the close proximity of the standard hold or direct eye contact with the Latin hold was worse. They were both a little overwhelming. 

“Alright, let’s try some steps. We can start with the Rumba.” 

She broke away for a moment to show me the foot movement, then had me give it a try. After a successful attempt, she positioned us back into the Latin hold and we began moving together. Once it seemed we had the footwork down, she backed away with a smirk on her face. 

“You’re actually really good at this, you know. We do need to work on eye contact though.”

I smiled nervously as I looked down at my feet and rubbed the back of my neck, “I’m sorry…I know. Direct eye contact is a little weird for me.” I glanced up at her through my lashes, slightly embarrassed by the admission. 

She smiled and arched a brow in my direction, “Really? I never would have guessed that based on your love scenes.”

My eyes widened. I do not need to think about her watching me dick someone down on screen. Focus, Bravo. I chuckled nervously, “Yeah, I’m not usually looking directly into their eyes during those. I tend to stare between their eyebrows.” 

She gave me a sly smile now, snickering, “Oh, is that why you usually look cross eyed then?” 

My brow furrowed as I gave her a mock look of offense, “I don’t look cross eyed. That’s rude.”

She cackled over my response, “I’m joking. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen one of your love scenes to know how your face looks.” 

I scrunched up my nose, “Ouch, ok…so you don’t watch my movies. Got it.” 

Her laugh had simmered to a quiet chuckle now as she lightly smacked my shoulder, “I’ve seen some…just not any with a love scene. So don’t be so offended. I’ve seen those TikTok videos though…they gave me a good idea of what I’m working with.”

I rolled my eyes, “Ugh…those fucking TikTok videos. They’re so bad.”  

I had to admit, it was nice to be joking around with her after all the tension that had built up from yesterday. I took it as a good sign that this might actually go ok. What I didn’t expect was the attraction that I was starting to feel as our day went on. However, the obnoxiously sized engagement ring she wore on her finger helped keep that in check every time I saw it sparkling in the light when she moved. As long as that shiny reminder was there, I would be ok... 

Right?

Week 2

✨FUN FACTS: All cast members on Dancing with the Stars are in fact required to get a weekly spray tan. They also do not get to choose their partners, costumes, music, or themes. They can make recommendations obviously, but the producers do not have to honor the requests. When it comes to pairing partners, the producers do have a "formula".

A/N: I wanted to take a quick minute to welcome all of my new and old readers! So happy to have you all with me for my next adventure with Dieter Bravo. For the new folks, I'm a sucker for predictions and theories. If you have them, drop them in the comments so we can discuss. Now on to my normal nonsense...how are you guys feeling about the first chapter? How do you feel about Dieter and Kat's first couple of interactions? What about all the characters that were introduced? I'm curious to know who you want to throat punch more, Alec or Stacia? I'm already in love with these two and I can't wait to share more of them. This Dieter is...something else. I love sharing things from his point of view. He is going to be a good time, as expected. Kat is...kind of a mess, but also not? It's been interesting being in her head. How do you see things progressing with these two? Lastly, a quick thank you to @maggiemayhemnj for giving this first chapter a quick read through to make sure all these plot points were introduced in a way that made sense...because seriously, there is a lot going on here. She also found the perfect disco ball looking dividers for this...and I fucking love them. 😘 Until next time, 💜 Mysty

Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @linzels-blog @morallyinept @survivingandenduring  @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime  @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75 @pedrostories

If you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know in the comments or shoot me a DM.

Credits: Support/MDNI Dividers: @cafekitsune Disco Divider: @deadbranch

[essektheylyss]

I know I said this literally two days ago but,,, matthew tell me how essek pissed off his father immediately tell me right now I need to fucking know

[myyoungroyalsblog]

My liveblog as I read Red, White and Royal Blue

Oh boy all I'm gonna say is that it's looong

SPOILERS!!! (For Young Royals too)

Chapter 1

Siblings checking the tabloids love it lol

I love Nora

Ohhh enemies to lovers did not know that👀

Yeah the cakes price is depressing

Them falling on the cake... Amazing✨

Chapter 2

Wow Ellen chill (she ain't like Linda)

Ngl that whole CIA thing was funny

"You're a dumbass, love you" hilarious

Oh so it's enemies, pretend friendship and then lovers!?

Cornetto scene my beloved

"I didn't know you wore glasses" bitch neither did I!?

That whole scene where they are shoved into a supply closet 👀

"No booty calls" IM SCREAMING

Chapter 3

Their texting is adorable

Chapter 4

Why the FUCK does Alex want turkeys in his room

Fucking knew Henry was taking the piss afajsvhsjd

MR WOBBLES

That phone call... Yes... Just YES

"I BEG YOU TO NOT" afgaksbdkd I laughed so hard

Mansplain lol

I've lost count to how many times Henry says Christ... I like it

Also love June

The tie... He listened🥺 it ain't bland no more

Oh god... The dancing... The prince who only knows how to ball dance and the latino who knows how to move their hips👀 top tier shit

They... They kissed........ THEY FUCKING KISSED YAS GO HENRY FOR GRABBING ALEXS FACE AHSKSHSLSB

Loved the kissing scene, and that oh shit moment from Alex

Chapter 5

Of course he can't stop thinking about the kiss

Wait he's straight!? Since when!?

He made out with Liam!? And more!? Are you fucking kidding me!? Yes that means you're straight Alex lmao

Nora isn't straight!?

That oh moment... Yes

Poor baby can't stop thinking about him🥺

Fuckin knew the moment June gave Alex the magazine and said that Henry was in it that there would be gossip of him with a girl🤦

Wow really liked how Alex thought about Henrys position and his struggles as a gay royal👌 very mature

lol you go Liam

Chapter 6

"Alex wants to rip it off"

My god the pinning

Ahahaa an actress from doctor who lmao

Jfc Alex yes you need to go to horny jail you just shoved him against a fucking wall

I am loving flustered Henry

Ohh and demanding Alex... Yes pls

Oh😳

Their banter is just *chefs kiss*

"Your highness" yyyaaaassssss

I needed to stop a few times to breathe cause hot damn (also this is how i kinda thought Wilmons first time would be like too? Wtf?)

Oh god I'm already dreading the aftermath convertation

Okay wait is Alex suggesting friends with benefits?? But he obviously has a crush on Henry but doesn't want to persue it that way? But Henry really likes Alex right!? RIGHT!?

I just love how confident Alex is and Henry is shy

Oh god he's in love isn't he? Fuck

Alex you little shit I love you

Is Amy like Malin? Lmao

Did... Did Henry just do the no homo tap!? For the press but still afakshdhdk

Whips!? Pls don't let it be that kind of book

Thank fucking god

This dynamic... It's gonna be the death of me they are so fucking adorable

He was turned on by the getup afskdbsbjs ALEX KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS

Oh no the emails, are these the ones that get leaked? (I already knew about this spoiler)

Love the way they address each other and sign of the emails lmao

PLEASE THEIR INTERACTIONS ARE THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭

Chapter 7

Henry's the little spoon🥺

Also love Zahra now lol

"It's only physical" yeah right keep telling yourself that Alex (it's obvious that Henry likes him for more than that too)

He has a hickey! Hehe

Holy shit Henry has a long ass name (love the name James)

Gay kings!? Goerge and Edward!? Excuse me while I investigate which Edward it was and if it was my great great... Grandad lol

FUCKING YES IT WAS KING EDWARD II

I come from a gay king holy shit😳

Henry Wales sounds kinda nice

I know tricky dicky was Nixon from Doctor Who lmao

Bonding🥺

HE CALLED HIM BABY AFAKSHJ SOFT™

Poor Bea

Hell of a way to come out to your sister Henry holy shit (my heart breaks for them)

"Wanker" afajshshs PLEASE

Wow his grans a bitch

I want to give Henry a hug🫂

"I miss you / I miss you too" catch me crying at the club😭

Love the nickname Alex has for June, Bug🥺 and yeah June has the right to be pissed

HOLY SHIT JUNE KNOWS

Whenever they mention a scene where Alex rubs his fingers over Henrys face in the magazine all I think about is this👇

My god I love the sibling bond between Alex and June (it reminds me of Simon and Sara)

Wait so Amy is trans and has a wife right?

Yep love Pez too lol

So Henry's been pinning after Alex for a long time huh?😏

It's so cool that they're using the money for HIV clinics and LGBT youth shelters🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

What the hell are Oscar and Luna talking about? Ngl there was a 50-50 chance in my head that they walked out to talk about something like this, or to make out lol

Henry's "oh dear" was too endearing omg

Oh god pls be more classy than hooking up in the loo of a club🤦

Well, never mind then lol

Can we have a scene where Wille plays air guitar pls

Bea and Nora...👀 is that a thing?

"Tosser" lmao you go Bea

Their banter... I love it🥺 my god this is like fanfiction i love it so much

Oh shit their doing that okay😳

He called him love I CANT-

WAIT PEZ JUNE AND NORA!?👀

Hell yeah Cash lmao

Also Alex has friends yay :D

Chapter 8

Oh so James I is the other gay king

Oh my god Henry🥺 that email was so sweet... are you drunk? lol

I love how Alex calls him sweetheart too he's such a little shit

"Yours in sexual frustration" where's the lie?

Holy shit Philip what is up your ass? (He ain't no Erik)

Omg is Henry going to play the piano for Alex!?

Oh god they're in love FUCK🥺 are they going to say it?

Fuck... Luna what did you do...

He abandoned ship before it sunk the bastard

June calling Alex tiny itty bitty baby LOVE IT

Yayy Henry go cheer Alex up lol

"You are good" my soft boys🥺

Get in the closet lmao (story of my life)

HE STUMBLED OUT AFSKDBDHJD ICONIC

"God fucking dammit" I feel you Zahra but they're in love💕✨

Chapter 9

Thank god Ellen accepted him (maybe she is like Lind afterall?)

My god the power point presentation... Again

"Does he feel like forever?" Love that line (and I think he does)

Oh no he's off the campaign :(

Planned Parenthood hell yes

"History, huh? Bet we could make some" CAN I HAVE THIS TATTOOED ON MY FOREHEAD PLEASE!?!?

"Affectionately yours"... My heart🥺

Oh god Henry's offering him an out so that Alex can continue to do what he loves :( my god these two are too much

They really send each other love letters huh? (Emails but whatever afsjdhkldk)

Henry could easily be a writer follow your dreams babe (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

Wish I could roadtrip and drive for hours too

"Do you feel forever about him?" Anghhh soft

"Hi, love" uh yeah they are forever SO PRECIOUS

His dad accepts him🥺

"Alex was so in love he could die" I... I need a moment

Alex making breakfast... Henry strolling in and kissing him on the cheek... Henry calling him love AGAIN... So domestic I CANT-

Lake scene my beloved

Henry saying he's the spare... *having flashbacks of Wilhelm saying the exact same thing holy shit*

Umm excuse me but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? HENRY GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE

Chapter 10

Alex let me give you a hug😭🫂

Oh my god he's going to England

I love Alexes temper and how he curses like a sailor lmao

"YOUR ROYAL FUCKING HIGHNESS" AFAKSVSHJDJD OMFG Alex I love you

Oh god this is gonna get angsty... Bring it on

He said it... He fucking said it... I was hoping for the I love you confession during a fight asksvdhdjd my god this is so good

Henry loves him... He's in love with him too... I'm fucking dead

He can't abdicate? Hasn't he thought if that?

Angsty and sad fuck okay then😳

Not surprised that Alex drinks coffee and Henry tea lol

We👏support👏healthy👏communication👏

YESSS THEY'RE GONNA TRYY😭

Aww Mel and Sue yesss (I absoloutly adore Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins is such a gay icon)

"Since the Olympics!?" Bitch what!?

Hehe loved this

Running away at 2am how scandolous

Good god their interactions are just the sweetest🥰

Slow dancing... They're slow dancing and kissing... My little queer heart can't take this afakdgdhdh this is too adorable

Thank god I know spanish... Menos mal

Two homes side by side they are each others home I CANT FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS😭

Chapter 11

"Thoughts and prayers" ICONIC

So many Wilmon parallels holy shit

I just know Philip is going to be a fucking bastard (aka homophobe) when Henry tells him

Fuckin knew it

Again with the Jaffa Cakes lmao (I have a love hate relationship with those monstrosities) are those Henrys comfort food?

Yep Henry is a wonderful writer pls follow your dreams UGHHH fuck the monarchy (right Alex ;))

He made a list of things he loves about Henry what the actual fuck this is amazing

Chapter 12

Fucking press man yeah who the fuck goes over security footage??? Someone seems desperate

Poor Henry is suffering so much over this😔

"Because you're it, okay?" WHERE ARE MY GODDAMN TISSUES I NEED A MINUTE

Ohh I'm liking this interaction with Luna

I thought about this the first time they emailed each other but... Why does Henry use his Kensington email which I assume is like an official Royal email? And Alex is using one that says eclair? lmao

FUKCFUCKFUCKSHITFUCK THEY HAVE PHOTOS!?!?

FUCKFUCK IT'S THE EMAILS oh boy it's happened

I worried about the windshield... I fucking worried about it FUCK

You dumbfucks (affectionate) how could you not think about that!?

Also who's the fucking pervert taking the pictures!? And leaking the emails what the fuck!?

Fukcetyfuck the love letters were only for them to see ffuuuuuucucckkkkkk *scream into a pillow*

I really really hope Henry's okay I mean I know he isn't but idk the queen scares me, and Philip, hope Bea is with him :(

Chapter 13

I'm scared to continue someone hold me🥺🫂

"Are you okay?" Thank fucking god, Ellen you ain't so bad

Alex feels forever about Henry I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS (and the fact that Henry feels the same way🥺)

Mother first, president second AS IT SHOULD BE (Kristina take fucking notes)

Yep I like Ellen

Fucking hell, their entire relationship and privacy for the world to see (like the sex tape holy shit) these four boys all have ptsd I swear

They're going to London, baby!!!! (yes that is a Joey Tribbiani reference lmao)

"Listen up, you fuck" my god I'm loving all the swearing in this book it's absolute gold

THEY'RE TALKING AHAHAAAAAAAA

"Sweetheart" "Hi, love" NO ONE TOUCH ME

They want to tell the truth... I love them so much can I give them a hug?😭🫂

WAIT SHAAN IS ZAHRAS FIANCE!?!? I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING OMFG that is too cute (had to reread the phone call from earlier becuase now it's so much funnier afaksvshshs)

Bea my beloved💕

Alex and Beas convertation was amazing

Yep Philip ain't no Erik (switch places with him lol)

Henry is braver than you ever were Philip🖕

Yeah what Alex said afajsvdhkdldh

The abdicate™ bomb, yas queen👑💅

Fucking love how Henry is a "fuck the monarchy" type of person too, just like Alex (my god they are distant cousins to Wilhelm and Simon I SWEAR)

Go Catherine!!! (Also love how when Henry calls her mum and Alex calls Ellen mom they're spelt in the way of their country lol)

I fucking hope it ends well, otherwise I will Riot

The support of the people is just amazing🥺🏳️‍🌈

"Tories and Brexit fools" lmao

Yyeeesss Catherinee go off!!!!

Bea 👆

They love each other so much😭

Chapter 14

"History, huh?" Yeah I want that T-shirt NOW

Oh god is Nora okay? What?

I have an inclining that Nora has been looking for the son of a bitch who leaked everything

Knew it lmao (it just made me think of Felice when she was looking for the bitch who leaked the tape)

Fucking Richards, just like their names they are dicks wtf fucking perverts LEAVE THOSE TWO IN GODDAMN PEACE

I bet it was Luna who sent Nora everything come on

Hehe YES

Oh fuck is that why Luna left? Because he knew they were doing that? I'm just trying to think about the convertation that Alex overheard with him and Oscar cause they did it for a reason right? Idk lol

Confirmed, Amy is trans and has a wife fuck yeah

Also Cash is pan!? Hello!?

Luna needs to be protected, what happened to him is fucking horrendous

"innit?" So British love it

They are so in love it's disgusting

Chapter 15

Henry's official portrait is with Alex I CANT-😭

"Bea's charity fund supporting addiction recovery programs and Henry's LGBT rights foundation"... *Cries*

Oh god Philip, he better be there to support them and not be a shitty sibling

Well, at least he's trying?

"The Super Six" Love them all

"Se repetira la historia?" Alex por favor habla mas español😩 hablale a Henry en español jeje

The tie... AGAIN AHAAAAHHHH can yall stop being adorable for five goddamn minutes!?

Hope they win🤞

The moment I read that Alex collides with someone I just fucking knew it was Liam

Fuck... they need to win Texas

"Four more years!" FUCK YES THEY WON!!!

Henry bought a brownstone in Brooklyn awww they're gonna be so domestic I love it

They're riding on bikes that is so wholesome

"We won" yes you fucking did

The End

MY THOUGHTS (just a ps but english isn't my first language)

Love it

Absoloutly goddamn fucking loved it

All the characters are just so amazing and Henry and Alex... so much love for them💜 Anyone know where I can find love like that? 🥺👉👈

Ngl a bit too horny for me lol but it wasn't as explicit as the usual fanfiction that I find so it didn't trigger my sex repulsiveness yay :D

Also the part where they said they wanted to tell the truth I could not stop thinking about Wille and Kristinas convertation in the car: "Is it worth it?" Aka, Is he worth it? Does he feel like forever? FFUUUUCCCKKK Young Royals season 2 where you at?

So many times I thought about Wilmon holy shit (but in a good way)

Overall 11/10 fuckin loved it, so so good would recommend!

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it lol 💜

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to read Firstprince fanfiction on ao3 byeeee

Ps you bet your ass I pictured almost every character with the cast of Young Royals lmao