#but you just KNOW she was just think ‘jfc this dumbass’

[dobodleaday]

07.28.24 Good Choices, Only ⛓️

[zonotrichia-albicollis]

Giant personal vent time

This guy stole somewhere between 3 to 6 MILLION dollars from my grandmother by conning my great aunt into signing over her estate and medical & financial power of attorney to him literally on her death bed

I and my aunt have been working basically a whole second job the last 3 months trying to get together a legal case to go after this guy. And now my grandma wants to drop it. And no one else has standing so what the fuck can we do.

This man has absolutely done this to other ppl before, there is no doubt in my mind. I’ve seen his property records for just what’s publicly available in my county and it’s sketchy as hell. I am never going to get over this but there’s nothing I can do.

Gonna put like a million more thoughts in the tags because I’m losing my fucking mind.

[thehugmonster]

Reading this and realising that I've somehow convinced myself that I'd be completely unsuitable to parenthood because I'm quiet, don't talk a lot, find it difficult to act silly and goofy and playful in the way that lots of young children want you to play with them, and because I often find it too difficult to be strict with kids about harmless things and say no the way I would of it were an adult asking me the same things (eg. yes you can see my sketchbook, yes you can colour with me, yes you can watch YouTube with me (and use up all my data in the process), yes, I'll play with you even though I'm tired as long as you have fun, etc. and none of these things are considered "motherly" enough (by certain people in my family, but especially by my mother) for me to be a good mother. Also I have boundaries and want kids to grow up while I also respect my own boundaries (so they can see what it's like, coming from someone raised by a mother with little to no boundaries and a people pleaser) and this is considered to be a "boring, fun-spoiling" thing by above-mentioned people. And I somehow internalised that and thought that I'd be a bad mother because of it, and that it should be better for me to just not have kids at all than to be a "fun-spoiling and boring" mother, such that my kids would prefer having someone else mother them (like my mother, as she said so herself). And it's just. Completely fucking wrong??? Like!

Where are the introvert mothers who are still good mothers and the mothers with strong boundaries who don't lose their sense of self in having to take care of their kids and put their kids as the sun their world revolves around while simultaneously forgetting that they're a whole entire entity on their own with their own needs that has to be met too, the parents who work on their own trauma and don't project that onto their children, or have children as a retirement plan, or want to raise their kid into the best version of the person that kid will be and not for the purpose of providing emotional support and validation to the parent.

Like I'm sure they exist, just not around me. Which is probably why I believed this for so long. But! Being a good parent has got nothing to do with personality and everything to do with kindness and compassion! Aka a human trait, and a trait which I have an abundance of! (And sometimes I have too much of it, hence the need for strong boundaries lest I become too people-pleasy)

Which basically means that I can be a good mother if I ever want to be!!

Man, fuck all the bullshit I learned and internalized as a result of other people's preconceived notions about what is needed to be a good mother/parent!! I can be a good parent if I want to be, mother, take that! Stop telling me I'm failing/going to fail just because I'm not like you!

weird how people think nowadays there’s like…a very specific personality type you have to be to be a mother instead of capacity for motherhood being a default trait almost all of the female population possesses. should having a child just be a thing that someone does by default without considering it? no. but also having children is not something your personality makes you fundamentally unsuited for 9/10 times, mothers have all types of personalities, the most important traits for childraising are unselfishness and kindness and everyone should cultivate those in themselves no matter what anyway regardless of whether or not they have children.

this also applies to men but ive never seen anyone say "it’s okay for men not to be fathers because it wouldn’t make any sense to their personality".

[alipeeps]

Episode 28

OMG he is such a git! I'm love him!

Oh damn Li Lun somehow got there before them?

Your "old friend" eh? Well Wen Zongyu's definitely not going to want Princess Longyu to give Li Lun a dragon scale... cos he's counting on that poison to force Li Lun to submit to him.

Meng Xuan? Is that Wen Zongyu then? Did he go by a different name?

Oh dang, so they are blackmailing *her* to get Zhu Yan's inner core now? Jfc.

Just what DOES Wen Zongyu want the ever-burning wood for that he is willing to go to such lengths?

Uhhhh that might not be a story though?

Hahahaaaa Zhao Yuanzhou loves teasing people with flirty comments but when someone does it back to him?

Ohhh what the fuck there's a sick (pregnant?) wife and baby in Wen Zongyu's past? And he was cosying up to Princess Longyu to get a scale to heal/revive wifey? And is that what he's still trying to do with his demon experiments and his obsession with the ever-burning wood?

Ohhh so Meng Xuan was his.. apprentice? And he used his name when seducing Princess Longyu.

And... Wen Xiao's dad also called Wen Zongyu his senior? Did he also work for him?

Whyyy though would she still care to know what "Meng Xuan" wrote to her? She hated him and tried to kill him.

Oooh that's the first time I've noticed less than stellar sound production in this show. Loud atmospheric sounds of the waterfall etc and then abruptly dropped to muffled as soon as it switched to close up for a conversation.

So Zhao Yuanzhou may have promised Zhuo Yuanzhou to stop seeking death... but he's still more than willing to offer his death as a solution to any given problem.

Ugh my heart.

Oh dang, that sounds awfully familiar!!

(Although, guys, guys? Do you mind if I just maybe point out something very important that you don't seem to be considering? Zhao Yuanzhou's willingness to die for the cause aside... why has it not occurred to you to wonder what exactly Wen Zongyu wants Zhao Yuanzhou's inner core/the ever-burning wood for? Cos the answer to that question may make it imperative that he NOT get it - for any reason!!

Oh dang.

Oh fuuuuuck.... my heart....

Oh shit, once Zhuo Yichen makes up his mind, that's it. Our boy is ride or die for the Great Demon.

Seriously? They're gonna fight over this? Fall out over this?

Don't you fucking do it Zhao Yuanzhou!!

Pleeeeeease tell me this is all a clever ploy?

(I'd love for it to turn out that that whole argument about the inner core was acted out for the benefit of Chongwu camp spies, to fool them into thinking the core the Princess will bring them is real)

SO WHY GO TO ALL THAT FUCKING TROUBLE TO GET IT?!!!

Ahahahaaaa it was a set up (I sure hope that means the inner core is fake)

AHA!! I did wonder why it looked like Wen Xiao held something up but it didn't show what it was!!

Hahahaaa. Hao de.

He didn't see the fucking message and didn't know they were acting!

Mind you... to be fair to him, if he didn't know they were acting then he was the only one who didn't know Zhao Yuanzhou was fucking faking removing his inner core and sacrificing himself!!

He's sooo embarrassed cos he outright expressed his care for Zhao Yuanzhou in front of everyone...

Such fucking fondness in the way Zhao Yuanzhou looks at him!!

Oh nice girl, get your revenge...

Oh shiiitt... the way Zhao Yuanzhou reaches to comfort Wen Xiao as Princess Longyu explains that giving away her reverse scale will cause her clan to die.

Is he immune to the poison because of the demon blood experiments he's been doing all these years?

Ahhh shit he was expecting a trick and had the fake skin on so the poison never touched his skin.

I know it's not exactly honorable etc, but really guys... instead of just hanging out upstairs listening to shit go down you COULD just fucking put a few arrows in Wen Zongyu and remove his as a threat for good?

Aaaaand that's what's behind his hatred of demons and his plan to kill them all. And I am guessing that plan is what he needs the ever-burning wood for.

Dumbass

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hand-holding!!

Fuuuuck these kinds of conversations about inevitable endings do NOT bode well for the ending!!

And here's where I think the translation is a bit lacking. They keep translating it as "Don't be afraid." But what he's actually saying is "Bu yong pa". There is no use in being afraid. Which to me is not quite the same thing.

"Don't be afraid" means "Hey, don't worry/no need to worry, it'll be fine." It's reassuring.

"There is no use is being afraid" means "It's pointless being afraid, your fear serves no purpose. Things will happen the way they will regardless of your fear." It's fatalistic rather than reassuring.

Okaaaay so they are still teasing that without giving us the answer...

You FUCKERS!! WAs that a goddamn actual kiss, shown only in blurred focus from a distance?!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Well, I was gonna say there IS a fucking rush cos a) you need to save Bai Jiu and b) fucking Ao YIn is planning to steal it from you...

But to be fair Zhao Yuanzhou's got the right idea... they don't even know how to repair the damn sword...

Ying Lei is such a fucking dumbass.

"Then nothing can go wrong" Well jfc that's just tempting fate. Famous last words if ever I heard em.

Oh god pleeeease, do I really need to remind you, Ying Lei, that Ao Yin is a shapeshifter?!

(Also didn't you tag them with powder that you claimed you can use to track and identify them?)

Oh good, you're not all that stupid.

But seriously you knew Ao Yin would come for it, why would you leave only one person guarding it? And not even your strongest person at that. This is just dumb folks...

Oh? Where the fuck has this come from?

Uuuuhhh did Zhao Yuanzhou intend to let Li Lun have the dragon scale?

Or...

As I suspected!! It's not even in the box! So what is he up to? He suggested they wait to repair the sword and then he removed the scale from the box and sealed the box with a spell he knew Li Lun could break and left it guarded by only one person....

[screechingkroh]

Thinking…

Thinking abt Honkai Star men being dragged to a concert.

(Can be read platonic or romantic)

Sampo is so totally down for it. He just gives the energy of someone who wouldn’t say no to a free concert ticket (AND HONESTLY?? ME TOO BESTIE)

100% gives his all because why the fuck not? And it’s so much fun. Like— BABES. When I tell you that this man probably hypes you up hella hard when you start belting it out— I MEAN IT.

He’s taking pictures, he’s taking videos. (He’s 100% taking advantage of your excitement to get a few free drinks)

Okay— but Sampo would totally be happy for you. And he’s also really happy. Like you’re yelling your lungs out. Singing screaming— it does not matter. Both of your throats are GONE by tomorrow.

Speaking of— Sampo probably almost made you two late. By accident. He just kept forgetting things or tried buying stuff.

It’s fine, after the concert he was a gentleman with guiding you back to the room. You both knock the fuck out though. Your heads hit those pillows and you were GONERS.

It’s NOT Gepard’s first concert. I refuse to believe that man has never attended any of Serval’s concerts. He’s got the best tickets, the best placing, he knows when to get ready and when to go— Dawg is your best man to be with for concerts.

He’s not good at singing, but fuck that. You’re both singing and losing your voices. Both of you are standing and fucking rocking out to the music.

And if Serval is trying to get people onstage?? SHUT UP, YOU TWO ARE TRYING TO GET THE OTHER ONSTAGE. It’s such a funny mess because you guys are too high on energy and pointing at one another.

Doesn’t matter— neither of you are chosen. But that’s okay bc you two are laughing so hard and leaning against each other. Like jfc you guys lost a lung AND your voices.

Gepard had to awkwardly tell Bronya that he couldn’t make it to work today. Why? Oh… you know. No voice, haha.

She knows and is happy he’s getting time to have fun.

Dan Heng?? How tf did you get him to go?

It’s not that hard actually. March and Stelle tag teamed his ass into going.

But that’s fiiine. He’s perfect for navigation and knows where stuff is. He’s got your back with the good hotels and restaurants.

At first, this man is QUIET. He’s nodding his head to the beat, but that’s it. It isn’t until later when the energy is really out there, that you catch him standing.

He probably doesn’t yell or scream like you, March, and Stelle. Dawg probably smiles like a dumbass though and is shaking his head. You guys won’t have voices for shit tomorrow. That’s okay, he can help soothe your sore throats in the morning.

He won’t admit it (he does but not verbally), but he enjoyed the concert. Like he loved seeing you guys let loose and go wild. Makes him feel like shit is gonna be okay.

After the concert is so funny tho. March is riding that energy high, Stelle wants to devour food (and probably inedible stuff), and you’re slowly crashing. So he’s got you leaning against him while trying to convince the other two to get back to the hotel room.

He’s semi-successful.

NOW JING YUAN— I am so biased towards this man. You guys don’t even know.

But he’s slightly unsure what to do, but whatever. He’ll follow your lead.

Fuck the before— DURING?? His hand is hovering over the small of your back. Any open drink you have is covered so it doesn’t spill on your outfit. He’s watching out for you with the softest and happiest smile. Because he’d trade the world for you to be this carefree.

You’re yelling, screaming, singing— you definitely have a sore throat. But that’s okay. He’ll take care of you. He promises.

Bro probably is laughing and smiling so hard. Like— you take his hand and start scream-singing the lyrics and he’s for it. Do that sway stay-in place dance with him. Please. He’s overjoyed every time you face him with that smile.

Okay, but afterwards, he’s probably still dealing with lingering energy. You two are clearly dropping in energy levels, and he’s urging you to the hotel room. Saying stuff “we can see it tomorrow, just rest for now,” while helping you deal with a very sore throat.

… this man has my heart wtf. I am so biased with him.

For Blade? Good luck. I actually don’t know how you’d get his ass to go. But if you do, you’re the safest motherfucker there.

Your drinks? Safe. Your items? Safe. You? Safest person to exist. He’s responsible for your ass now… much to his dismay.

I don’t have a good grasp of his character yet, but I think he’d be a bit irked. Irked… but slightly smug knowing you chose him over Kafka and Silver Wolf. Because, hey, that’s shit he can say he’s done that the other two haven’t.

Oh, but he’s so over it at the end. “Get your merch and let’s go” type bs. Literally picks you up and makes his way to the hotel room— bc we all know he wouldn’t settle for some cheap ass hotel. Dude made sure it was nice enough where there was two beds and easy to secure.

You probably had at least one argument the entire day. Maybe more bc it’s Blade.

It’s fun though bc you’re smiling and don’t put up that bad of a fuss. Especially when he tosses you onto the bed and almost threatens you to sleep.

You knock out about thirty minutes after.

Blade just lets you sleep and debates if he wants to let you deal with that sore throat or not. (Spoiler; he doesn’t)

[eggybug]

guess what time it is! its end of season 4 thoughts time!!!!

they are going to be a lot more insane and outta order than in the past

1. the entire season they were yelling at us that lilith was the final seal and it pissed me off jfc

2. i forgot what it was like to lowkey hate sam, i hate it.

3. so cas was in love the whole time, right? RIGHT. like i know ive been ranting about it all season but are you KIDDING me

4. ruby is a bitch and i hate her so bad. but she was in it for the long game thats for damn sure

5. im REALLY not looking forward to the whole "sam gets haunted by lucifer" bit

6. i love cas, i really do, but he looked right in deans eyes, knew that he was doing this shit to him, and did it anyway. like he was probably tortured by the legions of heaven, but goddamn it

7. when i start making cain and abel comparisons all next season, i don't wanna hear shit about it. itll be my bout of insanity and i apologize in advance

8. i fuckin LOVE bobby

9. no body liked john winchester, they loved him, but they hated the son of a bitch

10. i never got to the point where chuck became TRULY the worst guy ever, but i know we as a fandom hate him, so i hate him.

11. i think demons eat babies and i don't know how i feel about that

12. i don't know who i hate more, uriel or zachariah. maybe im glad cas killed all the angels

13. like i get it but HOW did it take dean so long to realize heaven wanted the war too. they disappeared for weeks while lilith was breaking seals like a bull in a damn china shop

14. they keep doing that thing where one of the capital A angels does something shameful to dean, or dean questions his faith in the "Plan" and the camera cuts to cas looking like a sad puppy

15. ik ive said it 1000 times but goddamn those stupid lil boys need therapy

16. GABRIEL WAS TRYING TO WARN THEM, HE WAS TRYING AND HE COULDNT. THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU GABEY!

17. hey, in the last episode they killed a bunch of nuns, which like damn

18. back to sam, his dumbass really fell for the devil on his shoulder bit jfc

19. like i understand camera work, but two straight men don't stand that close to have a conversation. they just don't.

20. hey sammy, you throw a lady in a trunk, you stop being the good guy

21. at any point did they just consider... not doing that. maybe perhaps, waiting a week?

22. there was a thing with the mirrors and zachariah in the last ep, wasn't there? like that wasn't unintentional. mirrors are notoriously terrible to work with, that can't be unintentional.

23. i love that biblical fanfiction always somehow ends with an angel, a demon, and a human coming together to stop heaven and hell playing out a war on earth.

24. spn just proved you can't leave a bunch of corporate assholes in charge of a planet.

26. im really not looking forward to sam whining about starting the apocalypse for a whole season.

27. dean fighting tooth and nail for cas to see the truth in humanity. to find faith outside of heaven. cas seeing that and it breaking his morale a little bit more and more every time. cas repeatedly seeing dean, perfect vessel, perfect soldier, dean be willing to lose the promise of heaven, of peace for his little bit of humanity. it broke cas. and dean keeps begging cas to see it too. and they're going to drive. me. INSANE.

28. "we're done" those were the exact words dean said to cas.

29. so cas and dean can talk without saying anything, and i hate to say that means they're in love... but thats exactly what that means.

30. cas did it! he broke his faith, he sacrificed himself for dean. and now they're gonna kiss (ik they don't kiss but a boy can dream)

31. have i mentioned that sam pisses me the FUCK off! like yeah i blame ruby but goddamn.

32. this season was hell in a handbasket, jfc (no ounce intended)

omg! season for is done!! woooo! onto the most annoying and lowkey painful season ever! my takes and thoughts for season 5 are going to be annoying, so be prepared !

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Content Warning: Not for Tauriel Lovers, just so you know.

The only way i’ll accept Tauril in my au is if Legolas is Tauril’s minder bc she’s shown some undesirable traites for warriors (recklessness, arrogance, incapable of following orders, etc.) and Legolas is there to supervise her and help decide if she’s allowed to stay a warrior bc at this point, she’s leaning into being a liability more than anything.

Legolas’s thought process throughout the entire movie basically boils down to “jfc Tauriel, and you wonder why you’re on probation”

“You fell in love with a dwarf? Why?”

“No no, it’s not because he’s a dwarf it’s because HE’S A PRISONER YOU’VE ONLY KNOWN FOR LIKE 2 DAYS AND YET YOU WERE READY TO MURDER MY FATHER OVER HIM”

“Tauriel, with all due respect, when Thranduil orders everyone inside and to not leave the realm, that is not a suggestion”

“It also isn’t in order to punish you or them or whatever you’re thinking, it’s because those dumbasses want to wake and enrage a motherfucking dragon.”

*dragon raining fire down from above* “if i die, i’m blaming you”

“I will also blame your dwarf and his companions bc why in the world would they think this was such a good idea?!?”

“Gandalf? GANDALF?? Why the fuck would you trust that flighty maia to know what you need to do???”

“HE’S THE ONE THAT TOLD YOU TO COME THROUGH OUR FORESTS? That’s it, he’s on the list”

“It feels like i’m babysitting. MY OWN DAUGHTER DIDN’T GIVE ME THIS MUCH TROUBLE!”

*stumbles across another orc army that’s about to descend on the lonely mountain* *sighs* “this really is not my job”

*Tauriel points her bow at Thranduil in rage at Thranduil’s refusal to sacrifice all their forces ofr a bunch of dwarfes* “.... if i could, i would kill you right now. Not to worry, even if we live through all this, you will still be arrest for, idk, treason.”

“At this point, i think the dwarf could do so much better than Tauriel.”

[invisiblegarters]

The Heart Killers Ep 3

I won't lie, I was planning to approach this episode with a lot of trepidation (and the tags with even more than that if what I thought was gonna happen happened, if I'm honest). but a soul who is far kinder than I think I would be eased my mind on the first thing. The second I'm still nervy about but well. I want gifs so I'll have to brave it at some point I'm sure.

But before that, let's get into this episode with bells on baby. Give me Fadel's tragic backstory and give it to me now.

Previously: Style was annoying af but also hot and we learned Fadel is not immune to that. Bison and Kant played more games and I was floored by how ruthless Kant actually was (and I haven't seen anything yet whee).

Now: Well we know this woman is evil because she's dressed in all red.

HI PEPPER. HI JJ I didn't know you were in this.

Oh she's really good at that dead eyed I will end your life stare. Good for her.

GIVE ONE OF THE Js A BL ALREADY.

Yeah you know what lady I don't believe you. Bison you little dumbass Fadel told you he'd ask. JFC kid.

Bison is literally the only one in that room who doesn't get that this woman is kind of the devil isn't he? How sheltered has Fadel kept him really? I do love a devious, evil woman though.

PFFFT Style babe please don't talk about who is the type to listen to heavy metal wearing that shirt.

"I can have a good time all by myself" Yeeeah you can.

Fadel if you actually follow him I will lose all hope for you.

One thing I will say, I think Style definitely is one of those people who can make himself fit in anywhere by sheer will.

There was a whole moment there when Fadel absolutely thought about choking him again lol but I don't think it was in the fun way that Style was looking for.

Wel that pool conversation was interesting. Both of them lying their asses off. And Bison absolutely did follow him there I'd bet money on it. I still don't think he really gets what's going on (or at least I hope not), but that meeting was too coincidental to be coincidental. Bison literally showed up to deliver that little warning and bounce. I really don't love the idea that he's hip to what Kant's pulling yet - it annoys me in a very specific way that all "oh this character is so smart and plays 4D chess in his sleep" stuff annoys me, but also, I just like it better if he starts falling before he really starts to wonder if Kant might be on to something. That he's going to choose to ignore the signs at some point feels like a given right now, but personally I'd prefer Bison a little naive for a bit (and it would fit with what happened earlier in the ep with Mother Lilly).

Then again, if Kant insists on meeting his Captain friend literally five seconds after chatting with Bison maybe he deserves Bison knowing the entire time. JFC dude this is almost as bad as you meeting the dude you paid to get a bowling ball dropped on his foot in a parking structure two seconds after Bison leaves your sight.

Can no one do these things right.

Oh Captain Christ followed him too. Man Kant is popular today.

Captain Christ doesn't give two shits if Style gets himself hurt lol he's only asking because he wants to know how much damage control he might have to do later. People keep talking about how Kant siccing Style on a literal murderer is wild and it totally is, but I do think that it is also a case of what Style doesn't know can't get him killed. I really don't think Kant wants or expects anything to actually happen, he just wants Style to distract Fadel for a bit so he can work on Bison. Hard to get in already, even harder with a scowling big brother dogging your every single move.

So Captain Christ and Kant have totally banged, yes? Bet it was really good but Kant felt a little (or a lot) dirty about it after (still went back for seconds though).

The way that Fadel isn't even trying to drive Style off anymore is kind of hilarious.

"You're not my type" says yet another liar.

So Style absolutely knows that Fadel wants to bang him like a screen door right? Yes, yes he does and he's gonna poke at it until Fadel explodes from frustration. He is so ridiculous.

Put the grandma glasses on Kant. Put them on.

He's not gonna put them on is he? All my dreams are now dust. Jojo you're on notice.

Hm. I'm going to have to think some about this before I really talk about it. All I'll say is Kant you fucking dumbass this is not the kind of thing you do when YOU don't trust someone 100% and I know you don't you loser.

Fadel babe Style is not gonna guess you're an assassin and even if he does it won't be seriously calm down.

OH MY GOD KANT STOP YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOUR GLASSES THEY'RE JUDGING YOU ALMOST AS HARD AS I AM.

Lol okay I know this is an unserious show but if one more person does some sort of shady shit right out in the open I'm gonna lose it.

And here it is. The tragic backstory, delivered by a smirking Pepper. Pepper I hate your bangs but I am kinda getting a kick out of how much enjoyment you're getting out of rubbing Fadel's mistakes in his face.

Or well. "Mistakes," I'm sure.

Oh no please not back to these two dumbasses I can't.

Bison baby he doesn't even know what a safe word is (unless he's putting that on so that he can make Bison explain it to him but I dunno he does seem to not get it) please put an end to this farce.

(spoiler: he is absolutely not going to put an end to this farce)

Here's the thing though. I don't actually think that Kant would hate this if it really were coming about organically? But one, right now it's a job that he's getting through, not something he actively wants. And two, he does not trust this man. Right now Kant is sailing through this with sheer balls and not much else. And it kind of makes me wince a little when we have Bison trying so hard to make sure it's consensual and that Kant's not pushing himself.

Hahaha now they aren't even safe from Fadel in Kant's tattoo parlor why is this so funny to me that man is everywhere. He sewed a tracker into the hems of Bison's pants didn't he.

Lie better Bison.

"Gimme a sec Bison I've gotta threaten your not boyfriend again I don't think he heard me the first time."

Kant is such a shit I swear.

Oh Fadel. I just love him so much.

Well Bison called this one. Good for him. Dark and brooding indeed.

Oh this should be fun. I would have thought that -

*Joong starts dancing, head empties*

Style: oh, he's hot.

Buddy where have you been.

Also ah, so Bison's drugging the secretary's drink then. Interesting tactic, that (but also low key cackling because well I know what's coming).

Style babe I like the way you think.

Hahaha of course he learned it from Magic Mike Jojo I love you you're back off notice for the glasses.

Actually though this is kind of perfect because to Style it would explain everything if Fadel just leaned into the host thing. Except he might want to show up again and that could turn into a problem. Oh no is Style actually trying to be helpful? Every time he stops being deliberately obnoxious it's pretty much always to be randomly earnest in a disarming sort of way, isn't it? And usually it's when he's trying to help someone, be it doing Kant a solid by telling Bison how down bad for him he is, helping out at the restaurant simply because they're busy and he's there, or offering to find a way to help Fadel out with his financial troubles (that he definitely does not have lol).

And now Fadel is going to kick all of these dude's asses.

What is with all the mouth close ups.

I don't believe for a second that Style didn't believe that Fadel was a host because he needed money. Style I'm liking you a lot right now and I don't think you're dumb but I do think you believe people when they tell you things...until they give you a reason not to, that is. Such as beating the everloving shit out of three dudes without breaking a sweat.

I say again, Kant is such a shit. Like he knows Fadel can kill him, he was genuinely worried he was gonna do something to him earlier, and he's still acting like a bit of a dick to the man's face. I swear, this dude is either great at compartmentalization or he has a death wish.

Or both.

You know, I'm gonna miss the running gag of Fadel interrupting these two every time they start to have a moment.

Oh no I am way too invested in Fadel because all I needed was the tiniest little flash of him being so happy with his past lover and I got all teary.

YES he's scared he doesn't TRUST you and he doesn't actually LIKE anything you've done so far.

Style. Style. Style what are you doing Style.

Jfc dude is nothing sacred.

Although to be fair, I don't think he knew what it was a support group for. But still, good god. Maybe back away graciously when you realize what you've walked into? Maybe? Don't' invent a dead dog story and fake sob about it these people are grieving holy shit Style.

Okay that bartender sucks what. Why would you make those drinks.

Oh look more drugs they really are made for each other.

Ha. You can just tell that Fadel thinks fucking Style is gonna get him out of his system. Ever look at a man and think wow honey you are so wrong that it's both hilarious and a little sad? Yeah.

Pffft Style that confidence is gonna get you in trouble.

And you know what? I'm not even mad about it. Play stupid games get a fist to the stomach and a knee to the groin.

Actually Bison has it better than the secretary at least he's not vomiting all over the place.

Oh Kant I see you. And so do the cameras.

Kant give him five minutes before you go snooping jesus.

...you know what I just realized. Bison's "prize" for winning the bet still assumed that Kant would be coming home with him. So there's that. But of course Kant would have still had to drug him because he doesn't want to go home with Bison for sex (kinky or otherwise). He wants to go home with Bison to get his snoop on.

The way that Bison pulled out those ropes was very funny, and when I paused it to laugh I got the best reaction face from Kant:

this is the face of a man who did not properly think this through. Dying. The question is though was Bison too drunk to clock it? Although...hm. Would it matter if he had? Maybe more on that later.

The music is hilarious what even.

"I have been waiting to have fun like this with someone for so long," he says. Yes honey we know you literally have your bed prepped for it even though you just said you've never taken anyone home (and unlike some of the other shit that comes out of his mouth, this I believe. Mostly because Fadel would do a murder).

Why is this cracking me up is it supposed to? It's First's fault entirely.

Because this is what Kant's mouth is saying: "I'm Kant. I'm a tattoo artist who loves adorable guys." What his eyeballs are saying is "I'm a fucking moron who is gonna get whipped to within an inch of his life and have to ask for more," and it shouldn't be funny, the underpinnings of why this is happening are absolutely NOT funny, but the music and the faces are taking it there. I'm kinda grateful tbh because it could have gone really dark instead and I kinda love this dark comedy tone the show has going on let's not ruin it.

Well Kant you said you liked being slapped.

He was totally enjoying himself at the end there. Getting into it big time. See the thing with him is he strikes me as the kind of guy who actually wouldn't mind trying something like this out in a normal setting, and he might even like it, but the problem here is that he doesn't feel like he's allowed to say where his limits are because due to what he has to do for Captain Christ, his limits have to go as far as Bison's. Even if he's not comfortable with it. And his limits might even be as far as Bison's! It just doesn't matter.

Add that to the fact that he knows damn good and well that the dude squirming in his lap and getting off on hurting him a little could easily kill him. Has killed. Will probably kill again while he takes his sweet ass time investigating. So he's unable to have real limits while dealing with a man he doesn't actually trust who could very well kill him if he slips up.

Fun.

...okay but did Fadel kill his ex lover because his mom told him he was a traitor or was working against them? That's how I'd write it but also I like angst and drama way way way too much.

This episode had a lot, and I have a lot of thoughts. and I don't now how coherent I will be in them but here we go I guess.

I like that everyone kind of sucks - I was worried that we'd have a situation where at least one of these guys is an innocent baby but we're not getting that at all. Even Style, arguably the most innocent of them all, is a jerk. This is fine and honestly kind of exactly what I want from this show. I'm invested in no one save Fadel but that makes it a lot easier to just enjoy what I'm getting.

Kant continues to fascinate me. I'm still so wary of what will happen to his character but man, right now I'm loving how ruthless he's being. I know I keep saying that but I don't even care this guy is a dick.

But also, this isn't his first rodeo, is it? While I'm utterly certain he's expendable to Captain Christ he's used him for dangerous jobs before and if all goes well here will probably continue to do so in future.

I really can't wait to see how he falls into his own trap. Just please bl jesus let him stay competent and ruthless. He can turn that ruthlessness in another direction, you know, he doesn't have to lose it just because he falls in love.

This was the first episode where I looked at Bison and went, "oh honey," which I was surprised by. It wasn't the drugging and it wasn't the tattoo shop stuff or even the stuff after the bar. Nope. What got me was his delighted little smile when Kant said he was helping him clean around the restaurant to prove himself to Fadel. That was the first time I looked at him and thought "oh this really is gonna hurt."

I truly don't know if I buy that he's actually given Kant his heart next ep - as I already said this was also the first ep that he did something that had my eyebrows going up a little so I'm side eyeing him a little right now - but he's definitely in this a little too deep. How could he help it though, when Kant's there working so hard at every turn to please him and trying to prove himself to his big brother and is even game to try this new kinky thing that is actually pretty important to him? And here is why I think that even if Bison clocked that Kant's apprehensive at best about this pain stuff, it might actually work in Kant's favor.

Because as far as we know, Bison doesn't know that Kant is basically being coerced into this whether he likes it or not, all it looks like from someone on the outside is him trying to please Bison. That's heady stuff, especially for someone who likes being in control as much as Bison does.

And I'm really starting to think that Fadel has kept Bison from knowing a LOT. Because some of the stuff he said with Mother Lilly was just jarring. I'd understand it if she coddled him but she doesn't, not really. And yet he's the only one who doesn't seem to understand to tread carefully with her. It's weird.

Which brings me to Fadel, literally the only character that I am emotionally invested in and who I am just so in love with I can barely handle it. Honestly though this tracks for me, since Kat was the only character I really cared about in 10 Things.

Joong is just playing him so well, he's killing me a little bit. He plays so stern but oh, there are already cracks aren't there. Mostly with Bison - it was only a matter of time before he cracked and let him have what he wanted, not because of Style but because he does want Bison to be happy, and as much has he chides him for being naive and trusting he has clearly worked hard to make it so that Bison can be that way. In spite of everything.

And this lover he used to have that he was going to leave everything for. I'm assuming he's dead or that he were disappeared by Mother Lilly, and there are different ways they could play this but my two favorites are as follows:

Mother Lilly lied about BF being some sort of traitor after either disposing of him herself OR she made Fadel do it/Fadel was so mad he went and did it himself.

He was actively working for someone, either a rival or even the police, and Fadel found out and disappeared him / told Mother Lilly and let her handle it. Or Mother Lilly was the one who told him.

Mother Lilly discovering (or "discovering") that BF was set to betray Fadel would go a long way towards explaining his devotion to the job and his unwillingness to go against her - he might not like it himself but maybe he feels like he owes her?

Also, number 2 would fit in with 10 Things and the Joey plot - Fadel warning Bison about Kant because he has been there before but also not telling Bison the real reason why and Bison just thinking he's being a paranoid weirdo. It wouldn't be a perfect 1:1 because Bianca was over Joey pretty fast lol but it'd be close enough, plus I kind of love that kind of parallel (except I guess in Bison's case loverboy accidentally does the job so well he actually falls in love. Also no killing of the Kant Bison he's too pretty to die).

Maybe we'll get fed a little more info next week, eh?

[nyxi-pixie]

stuck between "show me the bad takes I love bitching" and "keep that shit away from me I don't need that in my life" anyway.... what.

everything tt has shown me today has made me tear out my eyeballs so now youve asked u have to suffer with me

first up. one or two of these comments and i wld think it was just a joke but almost every fucking comment out of 200 and all the likes too like jfc please😭 im not even convinced they know who she is. 'not my monkey not my circus' THIS WAS A VIDEO ABT SHOKOS CONVO W GETO AFTER THE MURDER SITUATION. (which i dont think youve seen yet?? idk if you ever got to hidden inventory). BUT THAT IS CATEGORICALLY HER CIRCUS.

then some mfer posting their bsd hot takes only to say the same dumbass bs take that every other intellectually deficient fuckwit with an inability to read and a personal vendetta against blue curtains says to be sooo controversial and different. they also used a load of stolen art w/o credit. whos shocked

and finally this shit was on a post abt how mori wld have been shitting bricks when dazai left the pm. and its like. did you not watch dark era. he. planned for dazai to leave. people want dazai to be a super scary edgelord so bad. the day the fandom understands anything abt mori & dazais relationship is the day i find peace.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

UNFILTERED REACTIONS TO PJO SHOW EPISODE 5 (AKA THE PERCABETH EPISODE): yes, spoilers. No, coherence.

PERCY JACKSON WANTED TWELVE YEAR OLD BOY

THE HECKIN FATES

PERCABETH HUGGGG

NOT CAR. THATS ARES THE BIGGEST PUNK IN EXISTENCE.

HAHAHAHAHA

Annabeth: *~*

Percy: don’t be awkward. We can hug. I’m your friend.

Annabeth: I saw the Fates snip your life thread dumbass

Grover your polite ass bean

Gabe you ABSOLUTE ASS

Ares actor is a fun time.

Grover… endearing himself to Ares??

THRILL RIDE OF LOVE HAHAHHA

AB: I’m gonna be weird

PJ: me too

The early Percabeth is Percabeth-ing

WHAT IS LOVE?!?!?

Seaweed Brain is coming. I know it. I can sense it. Deep in my bones.

Ohhhh noooo let’s not sit in the chair.

“I hate my own kids” damn aight sure

Ares is giving grouchy jock brother

“People see what they wanna see and don’t like what doesn’t fit into their preconceived notions” who you talking to, huh, Ares???

Groverrrrrr what’s your angle hereeee

I WAS WRONG ON ALL ACCOUNTS WE HAVE A SEAWEED BRAIN DROP SHE SAID THE THING SHE SAID IT

“This is not the Arch, Seaweed Brain” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOT HIM GIVING RIPTIDE FOR REAL AND STILL MAKING THE SACRIFICE PLAY

That speech. The desperation in their eyes and voices. Jfc if this isn’t Percabeth then idk what could be.

“Can you promise me something?”

“I won’t leave the Underworld without your mom”

“Thank you. I was gonna say, after the quest was done, you could swing back here and try to get me out of this thing?”

“You think you had to ask?”

“Just making sure”

LITERALLY WHAT IS THIS ALL THESE SOFT GAZES HOLY SHIT

“I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m-“ JUST KILL ME DEAD WHY DONT YOU

AND ANNABETH IMMEDIATELY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BREAK IT

TIMOTHY ODMUNSSEN

HEPHAESTUS

WELL. That whole scene went drastically different from the books but you know what. Imma say it. That was a SOLID change. Hephaestus our clunky crafty man. You’re gonna bring us Leo some day.

Percy has fully convinced Annabeth that the gods suck and should do better.

Percy “fucking fight me” Jackson squaring up against the God of War. Don’t we love itttt. Also you miss the monologue of Ares’s aura naturally encouraging aggressive emotions so this was a good way to show it bc Percy gets real bold in challenging a god in this moment but also he’s always been the type.

Making Ares extra obnoxious helps too

Grover my love, I love you. You lil detective bean!!

[eorzean-capitalist]

saw this post earlier about wearing t-shirts of bands you don't even like just to mess with gatekeepers.

I'm reminded of like... 17 year old me. (I think I was 17, the friend who accompanied me to this concert keeps swearing we were 16, idek anymore. I'm old ok?)

Went to see Metallica, for their Black Album tour. It was my birthday present. My friend flew down from Michigan to go with me cause we were both huge fans.

I was a scrappy thing, absolutely in my teenage rebellion phase. Precocious, I guess.

As the opening band played (Candlebox), I got in line to get a t-shirt. There was this guy behind me, and I kinda remember wondering why he was wearing a trench coat. This was before the days of internet memes about M'lady Fedora guys. It was mid-May and the day was actually pretty warm, sunny, and the outdoor arena was packed full of people. Trench coat guy looked kinda weird, that thing had to be hot.

So he starts chatting with me. Remember, I am precocious 17... er maybe 16 year old at this point. I'm at my first metal concert ever and I am absolutely over the moon about it. This guy looks early 30ish, and he's subtly making passes at me. I ain't interested. But it passes the time in line.

So he asks me how old I am and I'm like not going to tell this guy the truth. I think I told him I was 18 or 19. And he starts making noises about me being a baby. And he's "been a fan of the band since the early days".

Insert inner eye roll from me. I had every single one of the band's albums. I was a fan and student of all things Metallica. What's age got to do with this?

So he starts asking me questions, the typical gatekeeping crap. Of course I can answer them. Then he thinks he pulled out his coup de grace I guess. He asks me who their original bassist was.

Which, of course I knew. JFC it was Ron McGovney. And he laughs at me! He laughs cause who tf is that? It was Cliff Burton.

My dude. Don't come at teenage girls with this bull crap if you don't know your own shit. Especially autistic ones who made the band a hyperfixation for years and learned every scrap of dumbass trivia about the band that they could.

And I told him as much, giving him the encyclopedic rundown of Ron's tenure with the band and when he left and the alleged reasons why.

Insert guy behind him laughing. Full on laughing so hard he nearly doubles over. I hadn't even noticed the guy. But he was a big guy, tattooed and muscled arms. Way taller than trench coat guy. (Tbf though, I was also taller than trench coat guy.)

When he finally stops laughing he says, "She's right."

Trench coat guy's face was beet red at this point. I dunno if it was because I showed him up or because the big guy behind us was laughing. Or both. But he bolted out of the line. We were maybe 6 or 7 people away from the t-shirt kiosk by then but he trotted off into the crowd and I did not see him again.

I got my Sad but True t-shirt and the guy behind me asked me to wait up for him. He walked me back to my seat. (His name was Otto, how freaking fitting honestly.) Just in case trench coat guy's ego was so damaged he required revenge to alleviate the damage.

I wonder if Otto even remembers that. And if he sometimes thinks of that kid he overheard schooling some d-bag gatekeeper while standing in line for the t-shirt kiosk.

It's been a great story to tell over the years. I hope trench coat guy eventually snuck back over and got his t-shirt though.

[silver-wield]

jfc. That's really all what I feel about that cosmo canyon scene on twitter. We have idiots claiming that yamazaki can't speak for cloud? Like dude, I wrote scripts for at least 7 years of my life, if the actor doesn't at least know shit about his character, then goddamn the production failed. Of course he can speak for his character, like how any literal actor on Hollywood does, never heard of ad libs or no script scenes? How do you think they're able to do that? Anyway they even end up bringing up the dress scene of aerith. I don't get how they can even think that that Cloud's reaction to that is considered cute. He say "it doesn't matter what you wear anyway" NOT to comfort her but to dismiss that it doesn't matter what her get up is, in context since they just need a stand in to fill up requirements for corneo's thing. In short he gives no shit. I bet they'd even take it as a compliment if cloud says "corneo would approve of your choice". I dunno man, I think if they are capable of thinking that his reaction to the mid and worse dress is favorable then I just know they have a thing for being humiliated and insulted. For the record worse= kinda disgusted ngl, mid= curious innocent like a kid he even has the confused head tilt, best= he doesn't even recognize her smh and the eng ver just send off their delusions, meanwhile the jp ver was more understandable. I mean heck, if she needs a million make over then how is that a compliment!? For every dress she had she really needed to pay just to look pretty!? That's an insult and as a hopeless romantic it's awful! Cloud is capable of complimenting, she's just not his type, he's just not into her at all orz.

Tbh I really don't get why they are those who really want to reel it in that the whole game is ambiguous. Ambiguous and subtle are not the same. The drink scene is subtle because that fits cloud but in reality it's very much obvious. People are gaslighting themselves to think the writers like to give the fans liberty, meanwhile they literally just said again and again that it'll be less room for interpretation. I feel like I'm going stupid. How is this so hard to understand. Anybody who thinks they know how the writer's intention just to suit your taste, reflect again and again. Man.. how does anyone keep sane in this fandom.

It's okay cause now they've decided after 4yrs that it doesn't matter either way, so hopefully this means they'll shut the fuck up about it and we can enjoy our content without them sticking their fat ugly faces in the middle of everything.

Also pretty funny how this dumbass acts like they played but messed up the order of events in the scene, didn't understand the context of the scene and then tries to claim it's jenova driving Cloud to be nice to Tifa anyway.

Literally every excuse they could think of to make it seem like Cloud dgaf about Tifa when everyone involved and all the accompanying sources say he's stupid for her.

They should really just stfu and gtfo.

[burntblueberrywaffles]

My 2023 recap (but it's through all my favorites posts I've made this year)

Part 2! (part 1 here)

Aug 14th

Me @ the prequels haters:

Aug 14th

Aug 18th

He did it for me specifically and I thank him every day ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Aug 20th

Me progressively spiraling in my latest sw posts:

Aug 26th

Discovering you’re ace is wild cause like, you guys were serious when you said you wanted to fuck that character/celebrity?

We weren’t just exaggerating and being silly?? UH???

Aug 27th

Watching the end of ROTS: a moodboard

Aug 30th

Having a R2d2 and C3po cameo might be the laziest form of Star Wars fan service but you know what that shit work my dumbass goes “OMG it’s R2 and threepio 🥺🥺🥺” everytime

Aug 31st

Tumblr staff be like: somehow they’re still using desktop, lets add an evil clown

Aug 31st

“I want the main character to end up with this person, even though I hate one of them who sucks and doesn’t deserve to end up with such a good-”

My brother in Christ call me crazy but I don’t think you actually love this ship. Read an x reader or x OC fanfic at this point jfc.

Sept 4th

Me sending a feedback report to complain every time tumblr makes another idiotic change:

Sept 10th

I’m always so scared to assemble it

Sept 15th

I love doing research, I am not tearing my hair out (lying)

Sept 21st

Im so good at forgetting my blorbo is a child murderer you wouldn’t even believe

Sept 29th

Lowest luminosity setting is not low enough why is my iPhone a fucking beacon of light burning my retina with the force of a thousand suns

Sept 30th

Me every few months:

Oct 4th

Oct 18th

Me reading fanfic titles on ao3 after first becoming a Taylor Swift fan:

Oct 28th

My boy was so sleep deprived this would have fixed him.

Oct 29th

Can’t believe you hate on my ship just because it’s toxic, unhealthy and has disastrous consequences for everyone around them. Grow up. 🙄

Nov 11th

I have beef with TCW Anakin

Nov 14th

When people go “ew why would you be into this ship when it’s toxic and problematic” and I’m just

Sometimes you don’t need another reason than "it makes my brain go brrrrr” it’s fiction babes it doesn’t have to be good or healthy ❤️

Nov 15th

I thought “oh it would be fun to randomly send a kitten picture to this one mutual” and then I went insane 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ sorry about that besties

(this isnt a good post but since i'm making this as a 2023 recap I want to commemorate that time I sent kitties to all the beloved mutuals LOL)

Nov 18th

I love these “what do you most associate with [insert US state]” polls bc my non-American ass is always:

Baby I literally have no idea what you’re talking about ❤️

Nov 17th

hate when people are like “why would Padme be into cringefail Anakin it’s so unrealistic”

Like, um, CLEARLY she saw his pathetic weepy eyes and immediately decided she wanted to fuck that. What’s hard to understand.

Nov 20th

I think when you break up with someone their memory of you should be wiped men in black style thank you

Nov 22nd

Philosphy class be like

Nov 25th

Me when the known mass murderer starts murdering

#you’re telling me my genocidal babygirl is in fact genocidal???

Nov 26th

The thing about philosophy class is that most of these dudes you have to learn about just suck.

“Ohhhh humans only use each other and every relationship is only built on the potential advantages you can get from it” So your heart has never exploded thinking about how much you love your friends?? Sounds like a you problem.

Nov 28th

Snow being judgmental and having a constant sense of superiority…. brother you can’t even buy a new shirt HUMBLE YOURSELF

Nov 28th

Me starting the Ballad of songbirds and snakes and reading snow’s inner monologue: this guy sucks lmao I will NOT be rooting for him and Lucy Gray to be together 🙅‍♀️

Snow:

Me: oh goddamn it

Dec 1st

“I liked this thing before it was cool!“ Boohoo you’re not special. You just stumbled upon it before other people, congratulations.

"I still like this thing after it was cool, now that public opinion has shifted from being overly positive to considering it bad and cringe” now that takes strength. Courage. Who I aspire to be.

Dec 3rd

Snow: is always nice to Sejanus, helps him distribute food to the tributes, offers him a seat, gives him advice, CALLS HIM HIS FRIEND, save his life-

Also Snow: wtf this bitch thinks we’re friends????

#babyboy you are so stupid

Dec 4th

Me when I see my friend sadposting: I will smother you with kisses and love. Do you need me to kill someone btw

Also me, when I’m sad posting and friends send me encouragements: Friend??? 🥺 Friend cares about me??? 🥺🥺 friend wants to cheer me up? 🥺🥺🥺

Dec 7th

Tumblr rn feels like a landlord trying to make its tenant leave by not fixing shit and cutting utilities, but unfortunately for everyone involved, I am a rat

Dec 10th

No but seriously no one should try being tumblr famous, this website is for one thing only, and that’s having a silly time with your friends and mutuals ��

Dec 12th

If your mutuals don’t say hi in the tags when they reblog one of your popular posts from someone else then what is it all for

Dec 12th

“Ew liking unhealthy ships is so toxic-”

“Actually toxic ship are INTERESTING unlike those boring healthy ships that have no flavour-”

Meanwhile me, who can appreciate and enjoy any ship dynamics:

Dec 18th

I’m like an old man shouting at clouds except I’m a 20 years old trying to make everyone listen to La Lumière by pomme asdagshdjfk

#I don’t think anyone is buying what I’m selling but I shall keep trying 😔

Dec 20th

Snow when being friendly to Sejanus results in becoming friends with Sejanus

#bro was really like: you’re telling me the person I’ve been treating well and interacting with regularly thinks I’m his friend??? #and that everyone else also think we’re friends???? #like yeah bby that is how friendship works ❤️

[didiwaffles]

Nephew got another last very last chance to pass his math exam and my mom finally decided to do something. To no one's surprize but hers, he's been failing because he absolutely sucks at math.

Now, for context, I love math. Due to my adhd I tend to make dumb mistakes, but even then I still love solving little silly numbers and shit (for as long as I know how to do it).

Max being unable to grasp the simpliest of the concepts left everyone frustrated, but I quickly found out that he doesn't frustrate me nearly as much as how my mom reacts to it.

These studying sessions been most unproductive I've seen in my entire life, and I've had studying sessions go like "okay okay OKAY I procrastinated long enough my exam is tomorrow I gotta do something *opens the book, gets hit with the executive disfunction* oh well I guess I'm playing overwatch and hope I can somehow absorb the divine knowledge 5 mins before the exam"

To begin with, she gives him no time to think. Heard first answer, no matter if it's right or wrong, she yells NO at him and THEN thinks what's even happening. If his first answer is wrong or he doesn't give one immediately, she dictates word for word for him to write down. Surprise, that does NOTHING to help him learn or remember something, he doesn't even understand what he's doing, no matter how many times she throws tons of useless information at him.

By today, I just started walking around her and yelling SHUT UP at her every time she opened her mouth cause holy fuck let him think for one minute jfc

So all of this led to an interesting conversation between us. For another bit of context, a little bit earlier today she complained to me about him and called him a "dumb little brat" which do we recall I told her when she shittalks him I hear her shittalk me yes? Okay great moving on. So my nephew went out to take a break and me and mom had the following conversation (that frankly got me pissed off):

Mom: Idk what to do. This is useless. Look at this. How is he messing up stuff like this. This should be second nature by now etc etc

Me: (attempting a conversation) Maybe try to consider that he is like. Not hopelessly stupid and braindead.

Mom: I know he's not! He's smart!

Me: Well then, if he's smart, how is he doing these kinda mistakes?

Mom: Idk, how?

Me: Nonono, you tell me! What's you version?

Mom: I have none! This just doesn't compute in my brain!

Me: Well, you see, there are people who are just not good at math.

Mom: Not good at math my ass! He never had those kinda problems when I was homeschooling him (for context: that was 5 years ago and his grades were the worst in his life during that period; he also was miserable, somehow hardly not more than when he lived with his alcoholic mom sleeping with every man who'd have her).

Me: Well that's just what happens when you let untreated depression and adhd progress.

Mom: Oh please stop this he's not sick! Stop indoctrinating him with this bullshit!

Me: (you can guess I'm getting real angry here because I was diagnosed with both and been getting treatment and showed visible and incredible progress but here we are again ig) So are you saying I'm also not?

Mom: Of course! You're also a very smart girl who finished 3 years of the university.

Me: No. This "smart girl" dropped out of both college and uni.

Mom: Well, your loss.

Me: (and now you can tell I'm fucking furious to hear that being said in my face again) I DIDN'T DO IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO???

Mom: (shut up attempting to derail the argument but oh no I'm not done)

Me: So ig you're the smartest person here? Nvm the doctor that diagnosed me, international classification of diseases? What's that? The world health organization who? Clearly they all are fucking dumbasses, what do they even know?

Mom: Absolutely, waste of space really (sounds like a joke, but she will not think even for a second that maybe she's wrong and maybe she's not smarter than people that literally specialize in that)

And now, tell me, how do I have any kinda conversation with this person?

Just fresh out of the argument with my mom

I think I'm fully in my right to yell and cry because she triggered my trauma

My nephew failed his math exam again, which was to be expected tbh at this point but it was about his last chance so he can get into college this year. But literally is it that big of a deal? So what if he failed again. So what if he loses another year. So what if he has to pass it again and again and again. Does it really define him as a person?

Well, my mom's answer was yes.

So then I asked her if his failure meant he's not deserving of support. If he's not worthy of love just because he keeps failing basic math over and over and over again. If me continuously failing college, university, all the other stuff means I don't deserve her support. If her feeling disappointed, her feeling shameful of our failures is more important than our own feelings about our failures.

Apparently, the answer once again was yes.

We also went into what could've been done about it and how she never tries to find a compromise and is satisfied with 'I tried and they didn't like it, that's all I can do' but at the same time rejects every other option because sees her way as the only right one, but all that is not even important. I'm just so... I just see myself in him. As he cried in my room and she kept berating him. And she thinks he deserved it. That I deserve it then too?

And she victimizes herself. It's us who treat her poorly. It's us who tell her mean things, that she's allowed us to behave this way long enough, how she doesn't like being treated like that. It's her who suffers from his failure. It's her who's disappointed, ashamed, has to face people about his failures, about my failures. It's us who need to be "stuffed full of drugs".

And it's me begging her, for once in her life try to think not about herself and how she feels. But how he feels. How I feel. How anyone feels outside of herself. To drop that damn 'I' and stop thinking about herself for damn minute.

[essektheylyss]

I know I said this literally two days ago but,,, matthew tell me how essek pissed off his father immediately tell me right now I need to fucking know

[myyoungroyalsblog]

My liveblog as I read Red, White and Royal Blue

Oh boy all I'm gonna say is that it's looong

SPOILERS!!! (For Young Royals too)

Chapter 1

Siblings checking the tabloids love it lol

I love Nora

Ohhh enemies to lovers did not know that👀

Yeah the cakes price is depressing

Them falling on the cake... Amazing✨

Chapter 2

Wow Ellen chill (she ain't like Linda)

Ngl that whole CIA thing was funny

"You're a dumbass, love you" hilarious

Oh so it's enemies, pretend friendship and then lovers!?

Cornetto scene my beloved

"I didn't know you wore glasses" bitch neither did I!?

That whole scene where they are shoved into a supply closet 👀

"No booty calls" IM SCREAMING

Chapter 3

Their texting is adorable

Chapter 4

Why the FUCK does Alex want turkeys in his room

Fucking knew Henry was taking the piss afajsvhsjd

MR WOBBLES

That phone call... Yes... Just YES

"I BEG YOU TO NOT" afgaksbdkd I laughed so hard

Mansplain lol

I've lost count to how many times Henry says Christ... I like it

Also love June

The tie... He listened🥺 it ain't bland no more

Oh god... The dancing... The prince who only knows how to ball dance and the latino who knows how to move their hips👀 top tier shit

They... They kissed........ THEY FUCKING KISSED YAS GO HENRY FOR GRABBING ALEXS FACE AHSKSHSLSB

Loved the kissing scene, and that oh shit moment from Alex

Chapter 5

Of course he can't stop thinking about the kiss

Wait he's straight!? Since when!?

He made out with Liam!? And more!? Are you fucking kidding me!? Yes that means you're straight Alex lmao

Nora isn't straight!?

That oh moment... Yes

Poor baby can't stop thinking about him🥺

Fuckin knew the moment June gave Alex the magazine and said that Henry was in it that there would be gossip of him with a girl🤦

Wow really liked how Alex thought about Henrys position and his struggles as a gay royal👌 very mature

lol you go Liam

Chapter 6

"Alex wants to rip it off"

My god the pinning

Ahahaa an actress from doctor who lmao

Jfc Alex yes you need to go to horny jail you just shoved him against a fucking wall

I am loving flustered Henry

Ohh and demanding Alex... Yes pls

Oh😳

Their banter is just *chefs kiss*

"Your highness" yyyaaaassssss

I needed to stop a few times to breathe cause hot damn (also this is how i kinda thought Wilmons first time would be like too? Wtf?)

Oh god I'm already dreading the aftermath convertation

Okay wait is Alex suggesting friends with benefits?? But he obviously has a crush on Henry but doesn't want to persue it that way? But Henry really likes Alex right!? RIGHT!?

I just love how confident Alex is and Henry is shy

Oh god he's in love isn't he? Fuck

Alex you little shit I love you

Is Amy like Malin? Lmao

Did... Did Henry just do the no homo tap!? For the press but still afakshdhdk

Whips!? Pls don't let it be that kind of book

Thank fucking god

This dynamic... It's gonna be the death of me they are so fucking adorable

He was turned on by the getup afskdbsbjs ALEX KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS

Oh no the emails, are these the ones that get leaked? (I already knew about this spoiler)

Love the way they address each other and sign of the emails lmao

PLEASE THEIR INTERACTIONS ARE THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭

Chapter 7

Henry's the little spoon🥺

Also love Zahra now lol

"It's only physical" yeah right keep telling yourself that Alex (it's obvious that Henry likes him for more than that too)

He has a hickey! Hehe

Holy shit Henry has a long ass name (love the name James)

Gay kings!? Goerge and Edward!? Excuse me while I investigate which Edward it was and if it was my great great... Grandad lol

FUCKING YES IT WAS KING EDWARD II

I come from a gay king holy shit😳

Henry Wales sounds kinda nice

I know tricky dicky was Nixon from Doctor Who lmao

Bonding🥺

HE CALLED HIM BABY AFAKSHJ SOFT™

Poor Bea

Hell of a way to come out to your sister Henry holy shit (my heart breaks for them)

"Wanker" afajshshs PLEASE

Wow his grans a bitch

I want to give Henry a hug🫂

"I miss you / I miss you too" catch me crying at the club😭

Love the nickname Alex has for June, Bug🥺 and yeah June has the right to be pissed

HOLY SHIT JUNE KNOWS

Whenever they mention a scene where Alex rubs his fingers over Henrys face in the magazine all I think about is this👇

My god I love the sibling bond between Alex and June (it reminds me of Simon and Sara)

Wait so Amy is trans and has a wife right?

Yep love Pez too lol

So Henry's been pinning after Alex for a long time huh?😏

It's so cool that they're using the money for HIV clinics and LGBT youth shelters🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

What the hell are Oscar and Luna talking about? Ngl there was a 50-50 chance in my head that they walked out to talk about something like this, or to make out lol

Henry's "oh dear" was too endearing omg

Oh god pls be more classy than hooking up in the loo of a club🤦

Well, never mind then lol

Can we have a scene where Wille plays air guitar pls

Bea and Nora...👀 is that a thing?

"Tosser" lmao you go Bea

Their banter... I love it🥺 my god this is like fanfiction i love it so much

Oh shit their doing that okay😳

He called him love I CANT-

WAIT PEZ JUNE AND NORA!?👀

Hell yeah Cash lmao

Also Alex has friends yay :D

Chapter 8

Oh so James I is the other gay king

Oh my god Henry🥺 that email was so sweet... are you drunk? lol

I love how Alex calls him sweetheart too he's such a little shit

"Yours in sexual frustration" where's the lie?

Holy shit Philip what is up your ass? (He ain't no Erik)

Omg is Henry going to play the piano for Alex!?

Oh god they're in love FUCK🥺 are they going to say it?

Fuck... Luna what did you do...

He abandoned ship before it sunk the bastard

June calling Alex tiny itty bitty baby LOVE IT

Yayy Henry go cheer Alex up lol

"You are good" my soft boys🥺

Get in the closet lmao (story of my life)

HE STUMBLED OUT AFSKDBDHJD ICONIC

"God fucking dammit" I feel you Zahra but they're in love💕✨

Chapter 9

Thank god Ellen accepted him (maybe she is like Lind afterall?)

My god the power point presentation... Again

"Does he feel like forever?" Love that line (and I think he does)

Oh no he's off the campaign :(

Planned Parenthood hell yes

"History, huh? Bet we could make some" CAN I HAVE THIS TATTOOED ON MY FOREHEAD PLEASE!?!?

"Affectionately yours"... My heart🥺

Oh god Henry's offering him an out so that Alex can continue to do what he loves :( my god these two are too much

They really send each other love letters huh? (Emails but whatever afsjdhkldk)

Henry could easily be a writer follow your dreams babe (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

Wish I could roadtrip and drive for hours too

"Do you feel forever about him?" Anghhh soft

"Hi, love" uh yeah they are forever SO PRECIOUS

His dad accepts him🥺

"Alex was so in love he could die" I... I need a moment

Alex making breakfast... Henry strolling in and kissing him on the cheek... Henry calling him love AGAIN... So domestic I CANT-

Lake scene my beloved

Henry saying he's the spare... *having flashbacks of Wilhelm saying the exact same thing holy shit*

Umm excuse me but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? HENRY GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE

Chapter 10

Alex let me give you a hug😭🫂

Oh my god he's going to England

I love Alexes temper and how he curses like a sailor lmao

"YOUR ROYAL FUCKING HIGHNESS" AFAKSVSHJDJD OMFG Alex I love you

Oh god this is gonna get angsty... Bring it on

He said it... He fucking said it... I was hoping for the I love you confession during a fight asksvdhdjd my god this is so good

Henry loves him... He's in love with him too... I'm fucking dead

He can't abdicate? Hasn't he thought if that?

Angsty and sad fuck okay then😳

Not surprised that Alex drinks coffee and Henry tea lol

We👏support👏healthy👏communication👏

YESSS THEY'RE GONNA TRYY😭

Aww Mel and Sue yesss (I absoloutly adore Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins is such a gay icon)

"Since the Olympics!?" Bitch what!?

Hehe loved this

Running away at 2am how scandolous

Good god their interactions are just the sweetest🥰

Slow dancing... They're slow dancing and kissing... My little queer heart can't take this afakdgdhdh this is too adorable

Thank god I know spanish... Menos mal

Two homes side by side they are each others home I CANT FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS😭

Chapter 11

"Thoughts and prayers" ICONIC

So many Wilmon parallels holy shit

I just know Philip is going to be a fucking bastard (aka homophobe) when Henry tells him

Fuckin knew it

Again with the Jaffa Cakes lmao (I have a love hate relationship with those monstrosities) are those Henrys comfort food?

Yep Henry is a wonderful writer pls follow your dreams UGHHH fuck the monarchy (right Alex ;))

He made a list of things he loves about Henry what the actual fuck this is amazing

Chapter 12

Fucking press man yeah who the fuck goes over security footage??? Someone seems desperate

Poor Henry is suffering so much over this😔

"Because you're it, okay?" WHERE ARE MY GODDAMN TISSUES I NEED A MINUTE

Ohh I'm liking this interaction with Luna

I thought about this the first time they emailed each other but... Why does Henry use his Kensington email which I assume is like an official Royal email? And Alex is using one that says eclair? lmao

FUKCFUCKFUCKSHITFUCK THEY HAVE PHOTOS!?!?

FUCKFUCK IT'S THE EMAILS oh boy it's happened

I worried about the windshield... I fucking worried about it FUCK

You dumbfucks (affectionate) how could you not think about that!?

Also who's the fucking pervert taking the pictures!? And leaking the emails what the fuck!?

Fukcetyfuck the love letters were only for them to see ffuuuuuucucckkkkkk *scream into a pillow*

I really really hope Henry's okay I mean I know he isn't but idk the queen scares me, and Philip, hope Bea is with him :(

Chapter 13

I'm scared to continue someone hold me🥺🫂

"Are you okay?" Thank fucking god, Ellen you ain't so bad

Alex feels forever about Henry I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS (and the fact that Henry feels the same way🥺)

Mother first, president second AS IT SHOULD BE (Kristina take fucking notes)

Yep I like Ellen

Fucking hell, their entire relationship and privacy for the world to see (like the sex tape holy shit) these four boys all have ptsd I swear

They're going to London, baby!!!! (yes that is a Joey Tribbiani reference lmao)

"Listen up, you fuck" my god I'm loving all the swearing in this book it's absolute gold

THEY'RE TALKING AHAHAAAAAAAA

"Sweetheart" "Hi, love" NO ONE TOUCH ME

They want to tell the truth... I love them so much can I give them a hug?😭🫂

WAIT SHAAN IS ZAHRAS FIANCE!?!? I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING OMFG that is too cute (had to reread the phone call from earlier becuase now it's so much funnier afaksvshshs)

Bea my beloved💕

Alex and Beas convertation was amazing

Yep Philip ain't no Erik (switch places with him lol)

Henry is braver than you ever were Philip🖕

Yeah what Alex said afajsvdhkdldh

The abdicate™ bomb, yas queen👑💅

Fucking love how Henry is a "fuck the monarchy" type of person too, just like Alex (my god they are distant cousins to Wilhelm and Simon I SWEAR)

Go Catherine!!! (Also love how when Henry calls her mum and Alex calls Ellen mom they're spelt in the way of their country lol)

I fucking hope it ends well, otherwise I will Riot

The support of the people is just amazing🥺🏳️‍🌈

"Tories and Brexit fools" lmao

Yyeeesss Catherinee go off!!!!

Bea 👆

They love each other so much😭

Chapter 14

"History, huh?" Yeah I want that T-shirt NOW

Oh god is Nora okay? What?

I have an inclining that Nora has been looking for the son of a bitch who leaked everything

Knew it lmao (it just made me think of Felice when she was looking for the bitch who leaked the tape)

Fucking Richards, just like their names they are dicks wtf fucking perverts LEAVE THOSE TWO IN GODDAMN PEACE

I bet it was Luna who sent Nora everything come on

Hehe YES

Oh fuck is that why Luna left? Because he knew they were doing that? I'm just trying to think about the convertation that Alex overheard with him and Oscar cause they did it for a reason right? Idk lol

Confirmed, Amy is trans and has a wife fuck yeah

Also Cash is pan!? Hello!?

Luna needs to be protected, what happened to him is fucking horrendous

"innit?" So British love it

They are so in love it's disgusting

Chapter 15

Henry's official portrait is with Alex I CANT-😭

"Bea's charity fund supporting addiction recovery programs and Henry's LGBT rights foundation"... *Cries*

Oh god Philip, he better be there to support them and not be a shitty sibling

Well, at least he's trying?

"The Super Six" Love them all

"Se repetira la historia?" Alex por favor habla mas español😩 hablale a Henry en español jeje

The tie... AGAIN AHAAAAHHHH can yall stop being adorable for five goddamn minutes!?

Hope they win🤞

The moment I read that Alex collides with someone I just fucking knew it was Liam

Fuck... they need to win Texas

"Four more years!" FUCK YES THEY WON!!!

Henry bought a brownstone in Brooklyn awww they're gonna be so domestic I love it

They're riding on bikes that is so wholesome

"We won" yes you fucking did

The End

MY THOUGHTS (just a ps but english isn't my first language)

Love it

Absoloutly goddamn fucking loved it

All the characters are just so amazing and Henry and Alex... so much love for them💜 Anyone know where I can find love like that? 🥺👉👈

Ngl a bit too horny for me lol but it wasn't as explicit as the usual fanfiction that I find so it didn't trigger my sex repulsiveness yay :D

Also the part where they said they wanted to tell the truth I could not stop thinking about Wille and Kristinas convertation in the car: "Is it worth it?" Aka, Is he worth it? Does he feel like forever? FFUUUUCCCKKK Young Royals season 2 where you at?

So many times I thought about Wilmon holy shit (but in a good way)

Overall 11/10 fuckin loved it, so so good would recommend!

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it lol 💜

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to read Firstprince fanfiction on ao3 byeeee

Ps you bet your ass I pictured almost every character with the cast of Young Royals lmao