#but yeah... heres hoping i can try streaming again in the future...

[todayisafridaynight]

i would watch your speedpaints btw, ur art is really cool and i love speedpaints. if u ever try streaming again i will try to show up cause yeah ur art is really really good and i think ur pretty cool too so. yeah. hope this aint weird or anythin just wanted to let ya know i really like ur blog and artwork

not weird at all, thank you my guy (❁´◡`❁) i hope i can get things to work soon, i was really looking forward to streamin for everyone,,

[iateyourparents]

HII, i was wondering if you could do another jake fic where he is streaming or someone is filming him when he’s drunk and he’s just like “look at my beautiful gf” and all soppy and that, thanks! 😁

my girl | j.w.

pairing: jake webber x fem!reader

summary: jake is drunk and in love.

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bad writing and grammar(i’m sorry, english isn’t my first language)

an: thank you! i loved writing this and i hope you like it <333

pictures are from pinterest :)

You had no idea how this all happened.

One minute you were peacefully watching Criminal Minds in your bed and next minute you were standing in front of gas station next to your apartment waiting for Jake’s friend to drop him off.

You still wondered how he got drunk, he was supposed to be filming a video that had nothing in common with an alcohol.

Finally, after standing there for ten minutes, in only your pajamas and sneakers, you saw familiar car pulling into the parking area next to where you were standing.

You quickly walked to the car while the driver, your and Jake’s good friend, got out of the car and opened back door where Jake, drunk and half asleep, was sitting next to Johnnie, also drunk, who was playing with his phone.

“Hi boys.” you turned their attention on you and you could see how Jake’s face lighted up when he saw you.

“My baby.” Jake babbled to himself still smiling widely at you “My future wife. I love you.”

As much as you wanted to smile and coo at that you stopped yourself and kept your stern face.

“How was recording. Were you by any chance making a ‘let’s see how drunk I can get without giving my girlfriend any signs I’m alive?’ video?” you asked raising your brow.

Jake was looking at you for a moment, thinking about something and then said “Sorry baby, we didn’t plan on getting drunk.” he was pouting and his voice was kind of slurred and you could see he was having problems with forming sentences.

“Yeah but we had to celebrate Jake finally getting his balls.” Johnnie added still doing something on his phone “I think I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

“What? What did Jake do?” you asked worried that he did some stupid shit and he will regret it in the morning.

“Nothing yet, don’t worry love.” Jake assured you and unbuckled his safety belt. As much as you wanted to question him more, you knew it was no use while he was drunk cause he would just be saying whatever came to his mind, so you gave up deciding you would remind him of it in the morning.

Jake slowly got out of the car with Johnnie carefully following him with his phone, so you just assumed he was making photos of your boyfriend.

When Jake was fully out he quickly walked to you and hugged you tightly, kissing your cheek.

“My love.” he murmured and turned you both so he was facing Johnnie “Do you see it bro? My pretty girl is here. My girl.” he had dreamy face and you smiled slightly at that.

“Yay!” Johnnie cheered silently.

“We should go on a date.” Jake declared.

“We will think about it.” you assured him and he kissed your forehead.

“Let’s go!”

“Like right now?” you asked amused and he nodded vigorously.

“Yeah, wherever you want to go.” he said and in this moment, he reminded you of a little puppy.

“Let’s just go home now and we will go on a date on saturday hm?” you offered.

“Alright.” he again nodded and your friend who drove Jake here looked at you.

“Help you with getting him to your house?” he asked.

You looked at him with small smile “I’ll be okay, thank you. What will you do with Johnnie?”

“I will just let him sleep on my couch.” he laughed quietly.

“Good luck with him.” you smiled at him.

“To you too.” he nodded to Jake who currently was trying to pick up imaginary flowers for you.

“Thanks.”

You took Jake’s hand and started walking toward your apartment building doors.

“You have to be quiet pretty boy, people are sleeping.” you reminded him to behave.

“For you everything, I will be like Kim Possible.” he slurred and you laughed quietly.

“Sure.”

For the rest of the night Jake was extremely cuddly, like always after drinking. And you found it really adorable but at the same time you were mad at him for not giving you any signs that he’s still alive, just drunk. You were worried about him.

Next morning you woke up to your phone blowing up. You had many mentions on twitter and you were confused what happened for Jake’s fans to go crazy like that.

And then you saw Johnnie’s instagram story. It was posted at night and it was video of Jake sweet talking about you while still sitting in the car and then video of you and Jake when you were about to take him home from the gas station.

After seeing this, you opened twitter app to see what people were saying about it.

And let’s just say, your heart melted at how much they loved your and Jake’s relationship.

[cherrychilli]

18+

AFAB reader, soft dom Steve, outercourse, P in V sex, morning sex, unprotected sex

Fat cock Harrington but it’s just the tip. This is a softer take on the trope but I do have a Perv! Steve version in mind for a future drabble.

A/N: the writer’s block has been pretty severe up in here so please be kind. Too many ideas but the words just aren’t wording, you know? my drafts are mountainous at this point but I am beyond delighted to have finally finished one of them and I hope I’ll be able to get the rest done too.

Divider by roseschoices

The sheets must have slipped off you again, a result of the way you sometimes moved around in your sleep. Or maybe they’d been tugged off this time? You suspected the latter when you roused to the feeling of his palm smoothing over the curve of your bare hip, fingers squeezing lightly when he saw your eyes begin to flutter open.

He’ll be leaving for work in an hour, you realize, when you spare a quick glance at your alarm clock, pushing back slightly to feel his hardened cock against your ass.

“Mm, gotta have you angel. Can I?”, Steve’s voice comes out low, still heavy with sleep and something more as he rests his chin on your shoulder, fresh stubble rubbing against your cheek.

The two of you are still naked from the night before, the bruises you’d both lovingly and desperately made on each other’s bodies still deepening in color and here he was, eager to be inside you again so soon.

“You’re insatiable”, you tease in an equally sleep riddled tone but show your interest by grinding against his cock again. The friction earns you a groan and another squeeze on your hip.

“Please? 'Couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t fuck you one more time before I left”

You’re too sleepy to roll your eyes but you manage a lazy giggle instead, finding Steve's particular brand of begging oddly endearing. “Fine. Wouldn’t want you beating yourself up over it”, you huffed playfully, giving him permission to let his fingers roam lower.  

"You're perfect", he thanks you in praise, teeth gently nibbling your earlobe. His fingers skim over your curls and ghost over your clit, detouring from the bud down to your still swollen folds. When he parts them it’s as if the rest of your body has been shaken awake, finally feeling the effects of last night when an ache of a different kind makes itself known between your legs.

The feeling isn't enough to alarm you nor does it make you want to stop, thinking little of the noticeable but weak throbbing until he attempts to work a finger inside. It's then that your core protests with a pain that's mostly dull but still unpleasant enough that your shoulders twitch and your thighs snap together by reflex, inadvertently trapping his hand there.

Steve mistakes it for jolt of pleasure at first until he hears the pain behind your whining and feels the urgency with which your fingers wrap around his wrist.

“Too sore”, you yelp, voice small and tone verging on wounded but you're able to slump against his chest with relief when he pulls his fingers away quickly.

“Shit, baby I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

He's quick to try and soothe you and your thighs clench again, this time for a better reason when he cups a hand over your cunt, his warm, gentle touch quelling the ache he didn’t mean to agitate.

“Yeah, I’m okay”, you assure him as the throbbing subsides, humming appreciatively at the way he's holding you.

This has happened before. The result of when things turned a little rough in the bedroom.

The back curving orgasms and euphoric tears streaming down your face as he fucked you into the mattress always came first, the aching reminder of it all following the morning after.

But you never regretted it.

And it's never stopped you from getting off before.

“Still want you to use me”, you offered with a meaningful look over your shoulder and the boy realizes what you're referring to - something you usually let him do whenever you wanted to feel him but couldn’t handle having him inside you yet.  

“Yeah? Sure you want it?”, he asks sweetly, full of genuine concern for you but you're able to pick up on a hopeful lilt that slips through too. You didn't blame him, reminded of the need he feels for you when his cock twitches against your ass.

You nod, sure that as long as there was no penetration the pain wouldn’t flare up again.

“Yeah, I do" you answered, showing him how much you wanted it too when you placed your hand over the one he had on your sore cunt, grinding softly against his palm with a pleased whimper. "But be gentle, okay?”

"Promise", he leans forward to place a kiss on your cheek before shifting positions.

You smile up at his halo of mussed up chestnut hair when he hovers over you, gently rolling you on to your back. The early morning chill that seeped into your shared bedroom usually had you pulling the sheets up to your chin and pressing yourself up against your boyfriend for some extra warmth but now, laid bare underneath him, you feel as if you might perspire from the mounting tension.

You remember to lift your hips when he reaches for a pillow, allowing him to slide it underneath you before spreading your legs to accommodate him.

Seeing the glistening arousal between your legs makes Steve's head feel pleasantly fuzzy, spitting into his palm and working it onto his turgid cock with a few quick strokes.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?”, he makes sure to add, guiding his cock to slot it between your your puffy folds, resting his flushed tip against your clit.

"Okay", you breathe out, the word very nearly tapering into a needy whine because you're already feeling the urge to nudge your hips forward and make his length rub over your clit just right.

When he does roll his hips you're reminded of just how sensitive he's left your bundle of nerves from the night before, clit pulsing from the gentle, languid motion of his cock sliding over it.

"C'mon, tell me what's going on in that pretty head. My girl feeling alright?", he coos down at you, making sure to scan your face for any signs of discomfort.

Steve's relieved when your expression turns blissful, the softest gasp escaping your parted lips like a secret meant only for him. "Mm, so good...keep going".

The look on your face encourages him to become a little bolder, thumb coming down to keep his shaft pressed firmly against your folds and the weight of it on your delicate core makes you curse with pleasure.

“Woke up hard this morning because of you, you know? y ’had me dreaming about this pussy all night”, he grunts out, canting his hips forward the slightest bit faster, careful not to overdo it in your tender state.

Another bolt of pleasure strikes and settles warm inside your belly, curling your fingers around his shoulders, eyes half lidded but fixed on his own.

"Fuck, Stevie it's so sensitive - feels amazing", you sigh high and pretty for him.

"Making such a mess already. All this for me?", hazel eyes flicking down to tease the fresh, creamy slick that's dripping out of you and clinging to his cock.

Part of you wants to argue back that some of the steadily growing mess is of his own doing, spying the dewy precum that beads at his slit but you're a little too caught up in the feeling coiling inside you to manage a quip right now.

You liked it when he rut against you this way, each thrust stimulating your puffy clit closer and closer to the edge, but rivaling your own pleasure was the satisfaction you felt when you watched him reach his own peak like this.

Knowing you could make him cum without even letting him inside you made every soft moan he spilled sound sweeter and the pink dusting his cheeks seem that much prettier - like you'd earned it the hard way.

Your favorite part was watching him still after you'd reached your own climax, cockhead pressed right up against your needy clit before it erupted with his release. You'd cry out every time the pearly, viscous spend spurt against your pussy in hot ropes, collecting on your skin and the matted curls on your mound.

Things seemed to be heading for the same conclusion this time round too, at least you had intended for it when you asked him to use you. But with the way he's working you up with every filthy word and knowing he wouldn't be able to lie in bed with you afterwards, all satisfied and spent, you were starting to change your mind.

A reminder of the discomfort you felt when he'd tried to finger you still fresh in your mind but feeling so, so terribly empty, you weren't able to ignore the other thought that blared in your head. That if he angled himself just the slightest bit lower, he might be able to slip in and make that lonely, empty feeling go away.

You wanted that stretch again, even if it hurt.

"Wanna try taking it inside again”, you blurt out, tears starting to blur your vision.

Maybe you should have considered a softer approach. One that wasn't so blunt, feeling a twinge apologetic when his hips stutter and his Adam's apple bobs in his throat with a thick gulp.

You knew you shouldn't spring these things on poor Steve. Least of all when he's got you naked underneath him. The boy was weak for you to the point that an admission like that could risk having him cum on the spot.

The conflicted look on his face was expected. What you were asking for was different from the night before, a night although filled with plenty of manhandling and welcome roughness, hadn't consisted of anything that had pained you. Not in any way that had you calling out your safe word at least.

"I don't know...”, he starts but trails off, looking positively torn when you begin to whine and buck your hips, folds dragging along his cock.

"Please, Steve? 'just wanna try...you'll be gentle with me wont you?"

The vein at his temple is noticeable now, jaw clenching too.

"No fair, baby...going all sweet on me like that", he strains, resolve crumbling.

You pout, so close to swaying him.

"Just once more. Promise I'll tell you if it starts to hurt, okay?"

His expression shifted as if considering. He hated saying no to you. Especially when your eyes filled such unbridled want.

"Fuck, alright".

You mumble thank you's against his lips when you pull him in for a quick kiss, legs spreading wider for him as his tip slips down to press against your entrance. There's more to take in this time but you're so much wetter than before - so eager to take as much of him as you can.

Anticipating the sting that comes when he begins to breach your hole, you chant softly for him to keep going, face pinching up in pain briefly when resistance gives way and the head of his cock finally pops inside.

Your sore walls protest at first with a dull gnawing, a bearable pain but still the kind that had you holding your breath until you could settle again.

Steve remains like that in place, not pushing in any further, hand rubbing considerately at your waist. He waits patiently for you to adjust - waiting for you to release that breath you've been holding and tell him how you're feeling.

“Don’t think I can take any more”, your voice comes out in a waver, a shaky breath coming after it.

Clouded by his concern for you, he interprets your comment as a cue for him to pull out. "I'm sorry, lemme just-" and you can feel him begin to withdraw from you carefully.

"No wait"

He stills again, afraid he's hurt you until you bend your knees and press your heels into the mattress to anchor yourself. The throbbing begins to subside and Steve's jaw falls slack when he sees you roll your hips, fucking yourself on the head of his cock.

“My god, baby" he manages to choke out, disbelieving despite having his eyes trained on the way your folds suck him in, the fat head of his cock sinking in and out of you wetly.

Your eyes fall to where you're joined too and you can see the veins bulging along his shaft, missing the way they felt inside you but with how sensitive you are, you feel impossibly full already.

"Steve, please", you sob, the sound of you all eager and aching prompting him to take over.

You're rewarded when pushes in, cock dragging over a tender, neglected spot sitting at an angle you couldn't reach on your own. It's a slow, but intensely passionate pace the two of you fall into, nothing but the wet sounds of your joined bodies and pleasured moans filling the room.

You almost worry that it's not enough for him. While you feel like your almost bursting at the seams in the best possible way, he's only managed to work around two inches of his dick inside you at this point, the rest of him missing that vice grip of your plush, silky walls.

That worry increases tenfold when he pulls out, only to have him push the unfounded concern out of your mind altogether when he wraps a hand around the the throbbing length, tapping the head glistening with your arousal on your clit. "I'm getting close", he admits hoarsely before pushing back in again, this time with more ease and far less pain than the first.

The way your walls give way for him has you keening, the pleasure pain combo at equal levels now.

“Yeah? Too much for you isn’t it, crybaby?”, he thumbs at your cheek and you begin to register the hot tears streaming down your face, earning you the nickname.

You nod fervently but your hips keep bucking, pace hurrying.

“Oh? Want more?”, he asks, half as a taunt, half in awe.

"Faster, please do it faster", you beg.

"Yeah?" he picks up the pace, fucking into your poor sore pussy as far as you can handle. "Gonna cum like this baby? already crying on my cock even though it's just the tip?"

"Oh god- Steve I'm getting close", you warn, back arching, fists gathering damp sheets.

"Fuck, so sore and you're still taking it like a good girl"

“Play with my clit”, you cry and he does, hand dropping to find the sensitive bud. A gentle puff of breath against your clit could have tipped you over the edge at this point, so when he rubs circles into it the force of your orgasm surprises you both, your cunt forming a tight seal around his tip when he bursts too, flooding you full.

There's no way he's clocking in to work on time today.

[viktorpartner]

✨ THE DAN AND PHIL LORE pt. 3✨

CHECK OUT PART 2: https://www.tumblr.com/ashleyeveerson/760707933651746816?source=share

Phil ALSO comes out! (yeah no i'm not crying what? not them feeling comfortable enough to be themselves yeah). 2019 also brings us the adoption of a fish named Norman (a cutie) AND they also post pictures about their recent trip to Japan [the photo of Phil looking up to Dan behind the camera? yeah i am so normal about it, i swear]. There is hope in the horizon still for a Dan and Phil comeback...

BAM! A certain virus runs wild and forces everyone to stay at home. Phil continues to upload solo videos which distracted so many of us during these dark times. Dan, however is AWOL and the only pic we have of him is a shitty screenshot of him in glasses and a mask helping Phil rescue an injured pigeon (lockdown was WILD).

Also, my boy Dan post a cryptic tweet that leads to the announcement of a self-help book named YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS NIGHT (because you will <3). Nah but I can't count how many times I've sobbed reading it, just him trying to help out others who have also struggled with mental health... istg i love this man

Hey so THEY BUY THEIR FOREVER PHOUSE TOGETHER they're gonna kill me one day istg. "Dan and Phil just decided to pay a mortgage together", top 10 sentences that would kill a 2016 phan. They are slaying, they are glowing... also rip Norman the fish you will not be forgotten

So during 2014 the fates (aka a random youtuber) foretold that Dan and Phil would be married in 2022. Since that clearly didn't happen the meme PHIVORCE united the phandom once more. ALSO Dan is out there shitting on youtube (as he should) and going on his solo tour WE'RE ALL DOOMED! Which i love with all my heart and also Phil being there for him every step of the way... AHHHHHHHH

Anyways a certain video called Dan and Phil finally tell the truth hits the internet and let's just say GOD DAMN. This also starts a wonderful trend amongst Dan and Phil in which they make fun of their audience (we deserve it ngl) and absolutley SHOCK US with new information about bonkers shit from their past [apparently they were offered a threesome MULTIPLE TIMES???]

It's the end. They've decided to give up their channel "Dan and Phil Games" forever... let's take a moment and silent and mourn with a compilation of Heart eyes Howell

...

SIKE! We're back baby and we're better than ever!!! The goodbye video turned out the be an ANNOUNCEMENT of their comeback. They are back, Dil Howlter is here and Phil confesses to having dyed everything green in the house when Dan went on tour bc he missed him (OH GOD). Also, the Halloween baking video introduced us to the icon that is.... *drumroll please*

SISTER DANIEL, the queen of making everyone reconsider their sexuality... she is the moment, she is an icon and she is serving astronomical levels of cunt at all time [jokes aside, Dan being comfortable enough to do drag in public, fuck they've come so far i'm so proud of them <3].

And here we are in the future, it's present day and they are queerer and happier than ever. THE PICTURES I CAN'T ISTG. Also Dan's Birthday stream is beyond iconic. First of all my unproblematic kings make it a charity stream to donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund (using their public influence for good hell yeah)... And how did they raise the money you ask? WELL BY HITTING IS WHERE WE'RE WEAKEST. Sister Daniel makes a spectacular comeback, FATHER PHIL is introduced and Dan even dyes his hair red to be more Good Omens coded... which timeline are we living in again? like how is any of this real?

Also them drawing the PINOF whiskers on their faces again... they're literally growing old together I'm gonna go sob in a corner. Also the fake apology video bc they have no fashion sense in the Sims 4 is hilarious as fuck. HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY BE SO MUCH HOTTER ON THEIR THIRTIES EXPLAIN??

anyways the phandom is still speculating wether they're erasing "i love you's" at the end of their text when they show them on videos... guess some things never change. Nah but the vibes are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW, they are more open than they've ever been and participate on the phan culture FULLY to the point that they're the ones terrorizing us now.

QUICK DETOUR TO TALK ABOUT PHIL'S FAMOUS BAD LUCK (and then they wonder why he's always dying in the fanfics). Nah but my poor man has had his fair share of medical problems, the most recent being...

OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU ANNOUNCE SOMETHING LIKE THAT THIS WAY?? nah like using humor as a coping mechanism and all but do they wanna gives a heart attack?! iconic i fear however

So yeah the video where they talk about it is WILD (funniest shit about the whole ordeal is that a nurse mistook Dan as Phil's son). Also I saw a tweet speculating about Phil having a hickey like... first of all what is it? 2009? Second of all IT'S MOST LIKELY A POPPED VESSEL FROM LOSING ALL THAT BLOOD YOU KNOW

They still were able to go on their vacation (aka the rodent boy summer) which gifted us with this iconic pics... ALSO they dropped a new Dan and Phil beats for summer go check out the names of the tracks istg they wanna kill their fans.

Nothing is sacred anymore, they've infiltrated twtphan, they're actively reposting memes and writing fanfiction about themselves. It's the wild west, everytime you get a notification is like playing Russian Rulet. Cringe is dead and Dan and Phil ARE COMING NEAR YOUR CITY on a tour named "Terrible Influence" where Phil's spent 300€ on silicone. It's a wonderful time to be a phan.

OKAY SO here's some stuff that didn't make the cut but that i find too hilarious to not mention. In no apparent order: DAN DRESSING UP AS A CATBOY, Dan and Phil playing technicians 1 and 2 on Big Hero 6 and two brothers on the Lion King (wtf was that also they gave the gorilas matching fringes), Dan dressing up as a golden pig (my boy has RANGE) and finally Dan being too embarassed to admit he stalked Phil and telling a reporter he was only asking for "editing tips" if you know what i mean

Also a short compilation of Dan and Phil losing the idgaf war against eachother THEY ARE SO THOUGHTFUL ABOUT EVERYTHING. Special mention to Daniel's 🧡 when Phil praised "We're all doomed!" and Dan's ranch metaphor to describe their relationship (just go watch the mukkbang video OH LORD)

SO, in conclusion... Dan and Phil's refusal to belittle their past and instead embrace it as part of their story while actively moving into the future alongside the phandom YEAH THAT SHIT MEANS SOMETHING. They're simultaneously healing our inner child while embracing us as the adults we've become i have many feelings about them

So what are they?

They're just Dan and Phil.

[joost-klein-imagines]

I’m in love with the idea of reader having their own fanbase, maybe they’re also a musician or a YouTuber etc and when Joost and reader get together their fanbases are like “omg we’re siblings now!!”

I fell in love with your idea too! I was busy so it took me a while, but I managed to write something. It's not a typical fanfic, I experimented with a form this time but I hope you'll like it!

A reader is a musician youtuber with a small, but very faithful fanbase. You can read more under the cut.

yourusername: HI!!! I HOPE YOU LIKE MY COVER OF “EUROPAPA”, THIS SONG DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER!!!

Comments:

user1: I absolutely adore this, keep your hard work! ❤️

user2: wtf is this shit???!!!

user3: such a shame no original song this time, but this slaps too! :) 

joostklein: MY FRIENDS BROUGHT ME HERE, THANKS FOR SHARING EUROPAPA LOVE! 💙

*

You looked briefly through the comments again. Most of them were positive, some of them were hateful, nothing new. But one of them brought your attention the most. It was the comment of Joost himself, a guy who you covered. You couldn’t believe that he noticed your video. You had just made a cover of this song because you had found it cool and had thought that Joost’s disqualification had been unfair and that his song deserved to be performed at the Eurovision grand final. You wondered how to reply for a while, finally writing just two words: “Thanks, king! :D” 

Ugh, I’m so pathetic, you thought as you buried your face in your hands.

*

yourusername: HI! HERE’S MY NEW SONG, I HOPE IT’LL BE A SUMMER HIT! :) 

Comments: 

user3: that’s what I’m talking about, pls give us more songs like that!!! 

joostklein: such a bop! 🤓

user4: omg I’m gonna listen to it for a whole summer ☀️

user2: another shitty song

user5: yea, they should delete their channel

*

That time you put a video with your original song on youtube. And Joost commented on it again! You thought that “Europapa” cover was just an exception because it was a cover of his song, but he actually followed your work. That moment even hate comments didn’t bother you that much. Your heart really raced up when you checked your inbox on instagram. You found a direct message from Joost there asking you for a collaboration. 

You politely replied that you agree, trying not to sound overly excited. You promised Joost to check out your schedule and come to the Netherlands in free time. 

*

[A TikTok video of you and Joost singing “Europapa” together.]

yourusername: FINALLY MET THE KING! 👑

Comments:

user4: attention! attention! they sing europapa together!

user1: i’m gonna cry, y/n totally deserved to meet him! 😭

user3: but what does it mean? collab? 🤔

user6: COLLAB! COLLAB! COLLAB!

user7: MANIFESTING 🕯️🕯️🕯️

user5: pfft, attention seeker

*

yourusername: A NEW SONG WITH JOOST 💙STREAM NOW!

Comments: 

user7: I can’t believe that two of my favorite artists made a song together 😭thank you so much!!! 💞💞💞

user3: pretty good!

user8: good jobs guys! i love you so much!!! 💕

user2: damn, does Joost really fall down so low that he collabs with them???

user6: if you don’t like it, just don’t listen to it 🙄imo it’s a bop, I hope they’ll make more songs together in the future! 🤞

*

[A picture of you and Joost on instagram. Joost poses in a funny way while you’re taking a pic of him with a polaroid camera.]

yourusername: LOVE OF MY LIFE 💙

Comments: 

user4: screaming, crying, throwing up, does it mean they’re together??? 🥺

user9: yea, I guess so, Joost confirmed this on his insta too

user1: joost nation x y/n nation unite! we’re the siblings now!

user7: they’re so cute together, I can’t!!! 🥺

user5: I’m so sorry for him, he deserves someone better…

user2: yea, for example me!

[user5 blocked]

[user2 blocked]

user8: they’re my favorite couple now! and yeah, we’re all siblings now!

user6: good luck guys! 🍀don’t let the haters bring you down!

[goldenivy0]

Oh it's tough to be an Elucien in this economy. Every single day we're bombarded with proud declarations that a new article in an online magazine, or a streaming platform, or a TV show, or a celebrity supports E/riel, and that this is therefore undeniable proof of the weight they hold as a couple and even stronger proof of their endgame. And yeah, it can definitely be mentally draining if we let it get to us. But the truth is only one, both E/riels and us Eluciens know for sure the same thing about the next book and about the couple it will focus on, which is nothing at all. And they hate that. They hate knowing the exact same things we do about what will happen next in the series when Elain and Lucien are still mates (canon) and mates typically end up together in SJM's universe. That's why they cling to these crumbs and do everything they can to tear us down by showing that "Hey see? We're the popular and morally correct ship here, we're the cool kids in school, why wouldn't you want to be one too?”.

Is this me saying that I don't have my bad days when my confidence falters a little? Of course not, I have them, I'm the first to admit that, but I just got tired of letting these false declarations of victory from the other ship rob me of the pure joy that MY favorite ship, or the idea of ​​a future where they exist as endgame, bring me. I refuse!!! I still very much enjoy trying to inspect the text we were given in the books so far but engage with this kind of attitude? Never again.

I'll be waiting here in my corner for official news, just like any other ACOTAR reader will have to do, ALL ships included. And at the end of the day, I just hope SJM writes what her heart tells her to write with absolutely no regrets. Even if in the end I get the things I didn't want to happen at least I'll know it's what SHE wanted to happen and no one else. It's what SHE planned. The one who brought us these characters in the first place. And I'm gonna find my peace in that. I just hope everyone can do the same.

[14thgalerie]

25 — part 3 (alt/ext. ending)

• pairing: exhusband!james potter x reader

• now playing: scott street by phoebe bridges / this is me trying by taylor swift

• word count: 6.1k

• genre: angst (as expected)

— based on this request, i unconsciously changed up some details as I was writing this but here you go! I'm not really the biggest fan of this as I haven't been feeling up to writing recently

part 1 part 2

There is silence around him, and there is time. For a while, he thinks he has all the time in the world, but the heavens have never been on his side and they never will.

James

It was cruel. To feel the ropes that tightened each day on his beating organ even in his sleep. 

Above, a dark navy sky drifts with flurries of clouds, moving in slow motion.

James

When his eyes fluttered open, his vision remained the same of the dark surroundings. Something that was not news to him.  The sound of birds chirping outside of the house along with the gentle stream of the river in the distance largely contradicted the condition of his closed-off room. 

James

He hears it again. The voice rang through his ears constantly in the past weeks. When he tilts his head to the direction of where it came from, it doesn’t take long for his vision to be filled with warm, hazy hues of orange. Only then did his mind register the light that entered through his swept curtains.  

“Darling.” He called so softly that even his ears could barely register the sound.

He leaped up, ignoring the groan of his limbs. He blinks once, twice, and then he says your name. Realising his mistake when he first called you by his preferred call name from when you were still together. “What-” He stammers. “What are you doing back here?”

A brief pause before his eyes widened. “Not that I mind! It’s just- you know-”

You let out an amused exhale. “Yes. Frank let me in and asked that I wake you up myself because he has to rush off for something.” You explain as your eyes kept their focus on the body that was fidgeting across from you.

“Oh! Yeah, he has this appointment for the dentist that Marlene met when she settled in London for a while.” His eyes never stayed far too long on one object, constantly shifting and yet it often settled on you. The red Mary Jane flats that you always wore. Hair that seemed to be a lighter colour than when he last saw you. 

“It’s his wisdom tooth, huh? I just got mine removed the other day actually.”

But his eyes never meet yours. They remain fixated on the bump that is poorly hidden beneath your clothes.

A fusillade of questions went through his bewildered mind. Had you already found someone and couldn't help but plaster to his face the future he lost? Was this another image that would haunt him for the rest of his days?

“James.” You call out again. “Can we sit downstairs?”

He nods, unable to articulate a word for he knew it would all be a jumble of syllables.

The sun peeked out from behind the clouds, casting its warm light on his pale hands which sat on his lap. You had decided to sit in the backyard, finding your old home to be too cold and missing the warmth that kissed your skin on the way here.  James went ahead while you stayed behind to grab the two cups of tea you had prepared before you went up to the bedroom.

“Hey there, I hope you still like your tea like before.” You gently placed the fragile ceramic on the table in front of him before you sat on the seat beside him.

“Two teaspoons of sugar.” You simultaneously said. His shocked state was broken by the laughter that came over him at your action. You also giggle, especially as you see genuine joy finally creep through his mein.

“So um, I guess I should speak first then.” You say out loud, after taking a sip from your cup. “I’m quite sure you have seen this stomach of mine already earlier. I mean, it’s gargantuan, it would be impossible not to.”

You pause to check on him and see the reaction on his face. To which you received none, for his face remained as blank as a whiteboard on the first day of class. 

James couldn’t understand the emotions that waved over him at the worst fear of his coming true. Millions of thoughts shift and begin inside his head, none of them coherent enough to be pierced together. All he knew was that everything within him lost sight and he is left dwindling at your whim.

Breathe. Breathe. 

“Yeah, how far along are you now?” He asks, trying to keep his voice still.

He watches as you exhaled heavily, your countenance now similar to his. You bite your lower lip, struggling to keep the flow of your sentences going.

“About five months now.”

James instinctively calculates the months in his mind. 

No.

He shakes his head. His eyes plastered intently on the wet grass in front of him.

“She’s yours. Not that I had been with anyone after you.” You reply, knowing it must have been the first question that came to him. Still trying to gauge the thoughts that he could be having. The latter, you muttered under your breath, unsure if he even heard it. So you quickly said something to cover it up. “If I counted right, it would’ve been from the last time we slept together a few weeks before we officially separated.”

The world slows down to an adagio, and he’s all caught up in the moment before he speaks. He heard it. His ears piqued at the words that were laced with a tiny hint of vindictiveness. But he didn’t bother to give it a second thought when his mind was still stuck on one thing. “A girl.” He laughs but it was more in disbelief. The world has apparently not been good to you either, giving you a gift that reminded you of his faults. “I wanted a girl.”

“Yeah.” You say, giving him a huge smile. “I know, and you finally won again.” 

Your hands reach out to wrap around his own pair, veiny and cold, a sharp contrast to his. His fingers curl around your fingers, laughing inwardly at his body’s automatic response to your touch. He doesn’t know how this was a win for him. His child would grow up, unknowing of her father who withered away miles away. 

He couldn’t accept it. The idea that another person would be taking his place beside you in watching her first steps. Laughing at her incomprehensible mumbles.

“Please,” He nearly shook at the voice that came out of his lips. Surprising both you and him. “Stay.”

He stands, without dropping your intertwined hands, and drops to kneel in front of you. His dark, searching eyes locked onto yours. In the depths of his irises, emotions swirled like a tornado, and in the middle of it all, a man lies. 

“I know I said I would not ask any more from you, but that’s the one promise I cannot stand behind. I’ll do better now. Just please, give me this chance and I swear I would forever be by your side.”

You pull your hands away to which you were met with resistance. He relaxes when he feels your arms wrap around him, combing through his dark hair. “Well, it seems you still have that habit of not letting me finish.” You joke. Though it could be seen in your expression, the hesitance, the drawback.

There is no doubt that you were still hurting from the repercussions of your ex-husband’s choices in the past. He couldn’t blame you for it, he is still suffering from it so he could not even imagine the level of your pain.

But before he could see it, you reverted back to your carefree expression as he pulled back to give you a playful glare, his red cheeks still smeared with the trails of his tears. “I was gonna ask you before you interrupted me if you want to give this a chance. An attempt to see if we could do this together. “ 

You made him stand and sit beside you, which he obediently followed. He finds himself being able to breathe properly again for the first time in a while, the smell of fresh air sifting through his lungs once again. The familiar comfortable weight on his shoulders that took the shape of your head in its place again.

“So, should we kick Remus out of the guest bedroom so we could paint for the nursery?” He jokes as you both silently watch the light blue sky covered with an abundance of clouds that looks so fluffy that you wanted to lay in them. 

You burst out in laughter, imagining the look on Remus’ face when he hears of this news. “He might just kick the both of us out when we do that.”

“But uh- I wanted to also ask you if it’s alright that we stay in my apartment instead?” You hesitatingly ask when silence befalls you again. “It’s just the idea in my head that so many things took place in this house that I would rather not be reminded of again.”

His heart clenches once again at the remnants of the consequences of his choices left on you. But he understood where you came from, and frankly, he felt the same. “Whatever you ask, darl- Y/N.”

“You can call me that. Don’t worry.” You assure him, knowing that he was walking on eggshells and you didn't want it to be like that now that you were welcoming this baby to your lives.

“I missed having someone hear me call you by that, darling.” He says. Was this suffering enough for all that I caused her? He asked himself. Was it even close to the hurt and anguish that I have traded for the ceaseless love she untiringly gave to him?

He doesn’t believe it is. He doesn’t even believe that all of what had just occurred in the past hours were real. He was fully expecting to be shaken awake by Remus, with a scowl on his face, muttering about how love is useless and shouldn’t be as needed as it is.

The tides have receded and all is calm and how it was.

James was surprised that you had left for another home miles and miles away. In a place where there is little to no trace of magic anymore. You were a step closer to the future you had always dreamed of.

A life away from the chaos and destruction that your world is currently in.

He doesn’t dwell on this fact any longer, instead taking it as a moment to appreciate that you had accepted him into this life. He remembers, from your trip on the way here, that you instantly got approved to be dismissed for a while from the missions all of you had been taking to ensure your and the baby’s safety.

Although he wasn’t quite as lucky, as he still needs to report back every now and then to perform his duties to the wizarding world. But they must’ve been in a good mood then, to allow him to take less time so as to assist and accompany you before your birth.

“I’ve been working at this cafe around the block.” You mindlessly mention, hanging your coat by the closet as he enters the bright and homey apartment. The natural light that comes in through the large French windows and the balcony lights up the whole place.

“That’s nice, are they treating you any good?”He inquires, wanting to absorb as much information about you as he could. You nod. He rushes back towards his bags which he had left by the stairway when he sees you about to pick them up. “I’ve got it! Why don’t you settle down for a while and rest up from our trip? I don’t want you carrying all this heavy stuff since it could hurt your back.”

You snicker, “I’ve been carrying much more heavy stuff in the past weeks since moving in. I don’t think two duffel bags of clothes will do much damage.”

“Still. I’m here now, and as much as I know you can surely carry this, I don’t want you to. I’m scared for you and the baby.” James worries. 

“Yeah, use the baby to guilt me. I can almost see a little girl version of you with a smile so wide asking for things that she doesn’t even care for.” You say, leaning both of your arms on your waist.

He laughs wholeheartedly, “Hmm, I might but I also might not.” Coming forward to pull you down on your cream couch. “Maybe she will grow up to be as nice, loving, and loyal as her mother. I’m sure she’ll be attached to your hip.”

“Yeah right, as if your stubborn ass would allow that to happen.”

He doesn’t reply anymore, instead exhaling an amused breath. The rest of the day was spent in mostly comfortable silence, while the two of you bicker over each song that plays on the radio; he had stood up to turn it on when his eyes glanced at it. Only coming to an agreement when it came to Laufey— a fact that surprised you by a whole lot but also made you the happiest woman on Earth. He laughed when you squealed in excitement. It was like the two of you were back on stage one, a chance to do it all over again. A small movement by his side caught his attention. 

Your warm fingers slowly inched in around his hand before enclosing it in the palm of your hand. The soft skin of your hand as it rests on top of his made his heart race in his chest and it takes a moment before James could manage to get a hold of himself. A minute has already passed when he also clenched her hand tight and placed their hands on his lap.

It’ll be a while before everything goes back to the way it is, but he’s got all the patience in the universe. 

— Two months later

James had never been so honest in his life than when he promised he would do everything within his power to be there for you and your family. It would be a long and difficult process but even when the two of you are well below 6 feet underground and your daughter has made a life of her own, he would still be at your will.

When the world reached its final stage of collapse, he could do nothing but watch it unfold. He didn’t know when exactly it happened. He was content with the roof that hid the dark sky away from him, in peace with the light you brought him. But when your world is built with the scraps of destruction, it is bound to crash onto you. 

It just so happened that it was his that fell off the axis.

James felt that the more he tries, the more he’s losing you. A thought that made him chuckle dryly because it’s so ironic when you lay peacefully asleep in the room you both share. He knew that you also were trying, even forcing yourself to feel the love that was even remotely close to the love that you used to have for him.

It wasn’t to say you felt nothing for him anymore, it was only that it wasn’t what you both expected it to be. It’s just that he is nothing but the father to your child now, not the one you saw yourself spending years alongside. 

This wasn’t all simple insecurities for him, he knew it was a fact. He did not mean to, but he happened to overhear a conversation you had with your neighbor who you had become close friends with. 

But to him, it didn’t matter. All he wanted was to make you feel loved and safe in his arms.

He feels you nestle your cheek in his arms.

“I’m sorry.”

He hears you mumble in your sleep, he had half a mind to wake you up. But he found himself unable to do so, investing in the way the wind flowing from the open window made your eyelashes flutter. 

He studies you carefully. You had all these little intricacies that he would like to believe no one else saw except for him— something of you that he would like to keep to himself.  He desires nothing more than to think that no one but him knows about the birthmark behind your ear, nor the scar on your hand from when you scratched yourself while riding a bike.

He longed to have every detail of your being ingrained in the deepest parts of his brain. He wanted to feel the intricate texture of your existence.

“Hi there…” You groggily say.

“Hi.” He leans down to press his lips against yours. You have gotten used to the feeling of connecting your lips to his, but the look in his eyes when he pulled back instantly filled you with a surge of anxiety that made you fully wake up. They reflected a kaleidoscope of emotions— too many to process but what stood out was the misery and acceptance behind it.

“James…”

“I love you.” Yet, he still tried to play his luck.

“James…I kissed someone else, we have to talk about it.“

The cold wind blasts with bitterness as you leave through the large heavy doors of your apartment building. Hugging your cardigan closer to you and holding your tote bag tighter to your chest, you rush towards the supermarket nearest you. James had gone back to meet with Remus and the others after Dumbledore had called them suddenly. Seeing as your plans to go to the park with him had to be put on pause, you decide to finish a few errands. 

“Welcome to Flamingo’s!” A staff greets you when you enter. Heading straight toward the long aisles, grabbing whatever item you need, and placing it on the large cart in front of you. A ridiculously large one. Truth be told you were completely baffled at its size when you grabbed it.   

But as much as you claim to hate it, you’re having the time of your life; feeling like a child pretending the cart was a formula one car and the aisles were a race track. The lack of shoppers made it all the better because you didn’t have to worry about bumping into anyone. Quickly grabbing your items like they were some boosters from a game as you swiftly went through the aisles. It felt nice to completely let go and just pretend like she’s living as a carefree person, especially with how busy she has been lately.

You had just turned the corner when a sudden yelp brought you out of your daze. You drew your bottom lip in between your teeth at the sound. Scolding yourself for thinking that you wouldn’t accidentally hit someone. You turn to face the person to apologise for your careless actions when a clear, deep voice cut you off before you could even do so. “Y/N? What are you doing?”

His brown hair was damp and pulled back, indicating that he probably took a quick shower before he headed outside. His tall form was clad in a pair of old jeans, a plain white shirt, and a dark hoodie.

“Remus? What are you doing here?” You were confused, you thought when James said he was meeting with the group that Remus was a part of it. 

“Grocery shopping?” 

The two of you walk-in unison toward the cashier. “Oh, I thought you were meeting up with the rest of the Order.” You mention. “I wasn’t needed when I asked. But James and Sirius were called specifically.” He explains as you were lining up, his hand gesturing for you to go first.  

You feel a weird flutter in your stomach all of a sudden. You dismiss it as one of your pregnancy things.  With weak legs, you moved forward as the line progressed. Trying to compose yourself before he caught up.  

 “Why didn’t you call to tell me that you were dropping by?” You ask. Genuine curiosity scratching at your brain. During the time that you and James were still apart, he had been driving up to your place to help you out. He was one of the few people you told of your pregnancy.  “I wanted to give you a surprise since it’s been a while since we met up.”

“So, what are you cooking for me today, Chef Lupin?” She observes while taking a quick scan of his basket. 

“Bold of you to assume this is for you, lady.” He chuckles. “This is all for baby Olive.”

“For the last time, Rem, I am not naming my baby Olive.”

 “Well, even if you don’t, I’m calling her Olive after you made me buy a kilo of olives just to make me eat it instead.” He snarkily replies.

Feeling a warmth creep up on your cheeks, your head shifts away so quickly that you feared you may have gotten whiplash from it. In your movement, you see one of the cashiers' signs for you to move along. Not realizing that both of you had already been at the end of the line. Before you could push the cart, a long arm beats her to it. Your cart gets pushed by your company.  

“Stop being a gentleman, you’re gonna make women fall for you.” You jokingly tease him.

You settled beside him, watching the man handle your groceries. Your eyes focused on the screen before you. “Only for you.” A silence ensues at his reply. Remus guffaws at the curl of your upper lips, not even a beat after he said the cheesy line. “But I’m being honest here, I only do it with you. Well, except for the obvious like helping other people when they need it, but I mean that I enjoy helping you. ”

“Why?” You ask incredulously.

“I just do.” He said while crossing his arms over his chest. 

But right before either of you could utter a remark again, the man in front of you called the total. “That’ll be $235 in total, should I separate your items?” 

You each make a move to give cash first before the other but alas Remus still beats you to it, quickly finishing the task. “Please do, thank you.” 

Free food for you, then. 

You take a seat provided just a few steps away from the counter, drumming your fingers on the blue plastic chairs beside you. While Remus leans on the hand bar of the cart, patiently waiting for the cashier to finish, occasionally assisting with lifting some items. 

Inside your head, as your ears circled in on the sound of the hustle and bustle of the market that had become busy as you were in line, your mind wanders to what it would be like if Remus was the one that you liked back then. The love you held for James was visibly wavering with every moment you had spent with Remus in the aftermath of your divorce, he had willingly helped you out even when you told him not to for fear of being a disturbance to him.

Just as the brunette began to straighten up and pivot the wheels of the cart to face your direction, you shake away the thought. Baffled because this would be a betrayal to James, despite what he did to you.

“Let’s go?” He asks. You nod, taking your place beside him, engaging in some more small talk as you head out the door. If you would call rants about the horrible noise that your neighbour makes in the middle of the night as small talk, however. 

The man instantly moves to help you with the bags. Taking four at a time, telling you as he neared to just stay by the trunk and organise each of them to make everything fit. You silently give a nod in agreement, swiftly moving to not make him wait while carrying such heavy items. After all, it’s a relief that you didn’t have to carry all of these all the way back while you were nearly seven months pregnant. Building an efficient system in less than a minute.

The picture of the two of you reminds you of your childhood, watching as your parents do the same before it all went to shit. An air of domesticity is no doubt always felt when you are in their affinity. You stifle a smile that was threatening to form at the thought. You need to stop thinking like this. 

The sound of the metal cart clanging as it hits the end of the line clamours in the parking lot. He walks towards you in the hazy yellows and oranges behind him.  “That should be it! Should we go or do you need to drop by somewhere else?” He gestures for you to move out of the way of the trunk door, finger pointing to the passenger door which he had unlocked already. You shake your head, quietly replying with the former option.

Prying your eyes away from him, you make your way inside the car. Quickly settling inside the car, although with less ease than you had before as the last time you rode this truck was when you were lighter during your early pregnancy. Emitting a low groan, eyebrows knitted and eyes staring off to nowhere, you lean back and rest your head behind you. 

To say you were delighted by the realisations coming to you would be a joke. It was an attraction that you knew should and would never fruition into something more. Accepting it as soon as possible would be right for your mental well-being. But nothing’s ever set in stone and you’re currently sitting in the passenger seat of a friend that you have stared at far more than any normal person would and waiting for him so that he could drive you home.  

Stop doing that to yourself, Y/N.

“Are you good?” Worriedly, he asks, “You look like you’re in pain. Have you got a headache or anything?”

You let your eyes adjust to the bright light that enters through the windows, shaking your head from side to side in reply. You force yourself to hold your head up high, locking contact with the gold optics, brightened by the varying hues of the setting sun. Remus flashes a soft grin with his eyes smiling alongside. “I’m glad, but are you sure? I could drive you to the clinic if you want.”

Then and there, all at once, the rest of the world blurred and all that you could see was Remus. Remus, who had granted you the opportunity to be at the receiving end of his care when you really needed it, looked at you with as much fondness as you would others, unknowing that you noticed it. Nothing had existed as beautiful as he was. He smiled and you felt yourself spiraling down deeper into the hole that you had dug and covered over and over again yourself over time. 

For once, you feel the apples of your cheeks rise again in true joy; not believing that you could ever feel this way, this happy, ever again and with anyone else. 

You reach forward with your arm and grab his face to pull him towards you until you feel the slightly cracked but soft lips pressed tenderly against yours. 

The softness of your kiss conveyed a depth of feeling that surpassed the transcendence of words. His hands were frozen by the steering wheel moved to pull her closer, as if afraid that she would slip away.

In the arms of one another, time seemed to lose its meaning and the world outside melted away.

“What do you mean that you know?” You whispered, your voice a trembling echo.

You force your body to sit up and face him properly. Checking over his entire figure, afraid to see one of your biggest fears of hurting him. 

It was inevitable and you knew it. 

You were on the other side of this only months ago, and despite it all, you had never wished for him to feel the same. It was excruciating.

“Remus told me himself, explained the whole thing.” He explains as he looks down on his lap. His fingers played with the wrinkled fabric of his pajamas. The sight leaves you feeling a sense of deja vu.

“I knew he was going to you back then, at first it was because I asked him to because I was curious how you were doing. But then he started to act differently, describing what was up with you similarly to how I did back when we first started dating.” He explains further. 

“I didn’t notice it at first, Sirius did. I thought it was something Sirius made up in his head just to mess me with me again but then when I met up with Remus around two weeks ago, he dropped the bomb on me.” 

“I- what did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything. I mean- how could I? I had just heard from one of my best friends that not only did my ex-wife kiss him, one that I am still in love with, might I add, but he also reciprocated it because he wanted to.”   

“I don’t know what to say…” 

“Right, so can we please forget about this and go back to sleep?” His voice pleaded, cracking with the force of his emotions, desperate for you to meet his gaze and for you to close the distance between you that widened with every second.

“I know this might be just your form of revenge towards me, and I forgive you! I really do! So can we please-“ His voice faltered.

He paced back and forth, his voice breaking with each syllable. “Could we please move on now? Can you please love me again?”

His emotions were laid before you, like vivid paint that once again smears the stark white canvas which had just been replaced. Letting you see all that he could give.

“No, James.” Your response was firm, tone strong to leave nothing for discussion anymore yet it is also strained. The stars shimmer in the clear, night sky bearing witness to the tumultuous end of your love and most of all, your struggles.

“This is unhealthy, I tried. I tried relentlessly to dismiss the blaring warning signals that echoed within me solely so that I never took away your right to be a father to your child. Regardless of all that came between us, she did nothing to receive only half of the affection she deserved.”

Your words were laden with pain, a silent plea for him to stop, to wave the white flag, but his unwavering love was an unstoppable force that consumed him entirely.

“Y/N-“ He started. His voice cracking at the weight of his inadequacy. The inability to give the love she deserves and to be the recipient of hers. 

Yet, before he could even begin again, she interjected, speaking into reality the words that would solidify the end of your shared path.

“You are a great man, James. I really do believe that, but I don’t think I can love you anymore like you expect me to. That’s just it.”

“I don’t hold any hatred in my heart for you. I really don’t, even if you make me think otherwise. Nothing will ever change the fact that you were by my side for years, long years where I knew nothing except that I love you. That will never change, and I’ll always care for you albeit it’s taken a different form now.” 

He is silent, a sense of defeat in the celestial orbs that once brightened like the night sky.

“You have been an incredible  husband, I even dare to call you my soulmate. It’s just that we weren’t bound to last as husband and wife even if we wanted to. God, I wished for nothing more when I first went back home to you that this would work because this emptiness without you was unbearable.” 

With a heavy sigh, choked with emotion. “Yet, as painful as it is to hear me say this, I think it was because you were this one constant presence in my life that when I lost you, I missed you so terribly that even when I felt my love for you slowly differ by day, this urge to recapture the past had consumed me.”

In denial, in sorrow, in defeat was his only state at the moment. 

“I love you.” His voice was laced with despondency.

He moved to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear before he caressed your cheek as though he were comforted by the mere presence of you right now. He had no answer for everything you had said, as it always is, you were correct.

It only felt that there were a thousand knives being poked through him now as if he were a dummy as he chooses to accept that. 

In hindsight, if there were any person who he would’ve stood behind in confidence when it came to you, it would truly be Remus. The two of you were closer than with any of his friends, knowing each other before you had met James.

But it was the knowledge that Remus loves as wholly as one should that assure him that you were in perfectly good hands. 

Of all things, he never wanted to force you to do anything, even if it meant that he had to let you go for the second time. This time, however, it hurt so much more because it proved to him that even with a chance, he would never have you back.

The only thing he’s got is one last night with you.

“Y/N?” He meekly calls your name. 

You hum in waiting, tired and in pain similar to him. This wasn’t any easier for you, you truly did want to mend this hurdle in your relationship but it simply wasn’t meant to be.

“Can you hold me to sleep one last time? You can leave whenever you want but please let me have one last sleep where I am still yours.” He asks, even if it makes him feel so pathetic, to be asking you for something as small as this.

Without any hesitation, you move to pull him back with you to lie in bed. You wrap your arms around his back as you let your head rest on the top of his, cocooning him with your entire body.

James couldn’t stop his tears from falling.

“Do you know?” 

“What, love?” 

“There were days that I wouldn’t go out nor would I sleep, I would just sit at the desk and watch outside the window. Outside, there were those tall grasses, who swayed in unison with the records playing in my room, unaware of our differences.” He says. You stare out the window, imagining the view outside your old house.

“The ones we planted flowers on?” You wonder. He nods.

“I sat there till the sun came up and the blossomed into new beginnings, wondering why I haven’t when the only difference was that my sun was in a picture frame.” 

You remain silent.

“I love you.” He whispered. The genuineness and remorse are clear in his voice. “I know.”

He picked up the apologetic tone in your voice. The pain in his heart was hollow and deep, striking the centre of the organ and reaching throughout his entire body, throbbing, throbbing.

“Can you say it too? Lie if you have to. I just need to hear it.” He whispers.  

“I love you too.” It hurts you, to know that he believes that you have to lie only so he could hear you say the words that seemed so normal back then, words that now feel like you took advantage of. “I love you so damn much, James.”

James could do nothing but quietly sob in your chest until he succumbs to the heavy weight on his eyelids, aware of the fact that in the morning, his only companion would be cold sheets once again.

In the dead quiet of the night, with no one else to hear it, a hum in the tune of Happy Birthday remains the only sound to be heard.

James had only turned 26 when the gravity of his promise had become an ephemeral spencer that despite his earnest desire, had lost all semblance of significance. 

masterlist

[luizd3ad]

Lie To Me | Regulus Black

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Regulus Black x EX! GN!Reader, GN!Reader x GN!OC WC: 888 CW: Angst, talks of breakup, not being able to move on, use of Y/N, Cursing, OC is mentioned like once Author's Note: I didn’t think anyone would want a part two to Amnesia so I couldn’t decide if I should do a happy or sad ending so I did both, this is the sad ending Summary: Evan and Barty ask you to visit your ex Regulus since he's been having a hard time moving on. Pt 1 Amnesia

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .

Why did you agree to do this? Why did you let Barty and Evan convince you this was a good idea?

A part of you was irritated that Alex thought this was a good idea as well. Alex was your partner, why did they say they were comfortable letting you do this?

Honestly a part of you was hoping they wouldn't be okay with it so you could use it as an excuse to not do this. But here you are.

While you knock on the door you hope that Evan and Barty were wrong and that maybe he moved or maybe he wasn't home.

But luck was not on your side today apparently. 

There he was, Regulus Black. The man who was supposed to be your forever. 

You could see now why Barty and Evan sent you. You could tell he hadn't slept in days, that he wasn't eating right and there was no hint of the last time he had seen the sun.

“Hi, Reg.”

You say softly. He looks stuck for a second.

“Can I come in?”

That seemed to bring him back.

“Um, Yeah. Yes.”

As you walked in you looked around and noticed nothing looked different. Everything that you left looked the same. It was kinda heartbreaking.

You sit down on the sofa while Regulus sits on one of the armchairs.

“How have you been, Y/N?”

“I’ve been good, Regulus. Really good actually.”

He just nods, not looking at you and then whisping.

“You look happy.”

“I am. How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

You sigh and look at him taking in everything. It didn't take a genius to see he wasn't fine.

You couldn't help but be irritated. You came here as a favor to Barty and Evan because they are so worried about him. You didn't know what they expected you to do. You couldn't get him to talk the last few months of your relationship. Why would this be any different?

“I know you're not fine. I can see it, Regulus. I'm just here to try and help. To give you some closure, help you move on. I can't do that if you won't let me in, even just a little.”

He just sat there, he didn't move or say anything’ You clenched your jaw. You didn't want to be mad but you couldn't help it.

You were supposed to spend your life with him but all that went down the drain when he started doing what he's doing right now. He threw away the future you both planned together because he decided to shut you out.

A part of you felt bad because you weren't as patient as you used to be with him. Maybe it was the love that made you patient because right now you felt anything but.

You stand up shaking your head.

“This was a waist of fucking time. I should have known better.”

You started walking towards the door.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything real, Regulus. Open up like you used to.”

You turned around to face him and he stood up, sighing.

“I wish we never fucking met because I can't get you out of my head. I want to forget you, but forgetting you hurts more than remembering you. Everywhere I go I’m reminded of you and it fucking kills me but that pain is the only way I know you were ever really mine. When I close my eyes you haunt my fucking dreams, it always start the same, everything will be just like before then you just leave, over and over again. So no, I’m not fine, I'm not fucking happy.”

He had tears streaming down his face. His voice was getting slightly louder with every word, and you could see the heartbreak on his face.

It hurt a part of you.

“Regulus, you can't keep living like this. You can't keep living here, especially with pictures of us up on the walls, with my books here, with the things that we shared. It's holding you back.”

You say softly looking around at all the things that he kept as reminders of you. 

“You need to move on, Regulus.”

“I can't. You're all I have.”

Regulus whispered, his voice cracking. You close your eyes and take a deep breath feeling all the hurt and pain that you worked so hard to get rid of coming back up.

“Regulus, I'm not yours anymore.”

You didn't mean for it to come out as a whisper but it did. You didn't know when you started to cry but you could feel the tears running down your face.

“Don't say that. I know that you don't but if I ask you if you love me, can you just please lie to me? Please?”

You could hear him gasping for a breath in between words. You close your eyes, sighing and then you look him in the eyes.

“I can't do that. I'm with someone, and I'm genuinely happy. You deserve to be happy too.”

“So that's just it? There’s no hope? I lost you?”

He looked so broken, so sad. You wished that you could just hold him and put him back together but that wouldn't be fair to either of you and you knew that.

“Yeah, Reg. There’s no hope.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .

Lover Of Mine (Alt happy ending)

[badaseyebags]

to all the boys that tried to love me ch 4⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

word count: 2,5k (wew)

warnings: tsurugi being icky (as always), bad writing

author’s note: wow can you believe i actually updated? i was gonna drop this series as a whole since i don’t think anyone’s reading but but oh well, impulsive thinking at its finest😞 feel free to roast me, hope you enjoy! 🍞

life’s been pretty strange lately, i’m out here making random friends, trying to be social and even being protected by them despite them not even knowing me? well let’s be real, even tsurugi’s friends are warning him not to hurt me, and telling me to be careful around him. they seem to like me more than him. i’m also getting one step closer to my crush by knowing her name. everything is going great, right? yeah that’s also what i thought. this was just moments before everything would crumble again.

i’ve spent my days with my besties and with tsurugi texting me non stop about how he’s fallen in love with me, and how he pictures our future together. from our wedding and our daily life together, to the name of our future children.. yikes, i’ve already turned him down at least 10 times this week, letting him know i’m not interested in finding a boyfriend. i thought he seemed a bit too chill with that at first, which was relieving. he suggested we become closer friends to which i could only agree to. i might of been pushed a little outside my comfort zone when he wouldn’t stop begging to call me with me before he goes to bed, i have anxiety every time i call someone but we’re friends now, right..? that’s what friends do.

i have no clue why ryujin is so excited about tsurugi not leaving me alone, but bummed out about me becoming friends with wooyoung. i know she’s into him but it’s not like i hang out with him or something, i have my own crush. we just text from time to time and i watch his streams when i get notified, i always try to mention her too. somehow it feels like he’s more of a friend than she is somedays.. maybe i’m being too sensitive, but she doesn’t seem fond of us getting along, i always thought it’s good when your friends and your love interest have a nice connection. i’d be happy if her and hwa got along well.

she was ready to take things a little bit further and make the next step to finally meet her crush, tell him she’s the girl who’s been sending him those hints, his secret admirer. reveal her identity then and there. she’s so bold for doing that, i’d probably pee my pants if i just approached hwa out of nowhere… maybe she’s so brave because it was me messaging him instead of her this whole time.. ah and my crush.. i don’t even have her social media.. i just know her name.. anyways i think my efforts to get them to talk will hopefully pay off soon. hmm.. maybe i am trying a bit hard to introduce them to each other. oh well, there’s another party today and she wants to go really bad to finally meet her crush face to face. well more like face to mask cuz i doubt he would magically appear without it, it’s like a permanent part of his face at this point. was he born with it?

tonight’s theme is school party, i really like the concept because i have an excuse to dress up all cute and not get judged for once, since everyone will be matching in some way. i curled my pink hair and put it in two little buns, wearing an outfit resembling a school uniform along with some white thigh high socks. i love how opposite me and my besties look, they’re always wearing dark colours and look so cool and i’m just there like their pastel coloured accessory. i wish i could wear this everyday without being looked at weird.. i add some finishing touches by putting little bows on either sides of my hair, spraying my besties and i down with my favorite glitter spray. “you look like a girl that calls her boyfriend senpai” ryujin’s older sister jokes as we finish getting ready in her house, her escorting is out. hopefully she doesn’t mean it in a cringy way.

the three of us walk hand in hand and before we can even reach the club we are met with tsurugi running up to me, pulling me into a hug and pulling the mask off my face. “don’t you dare cover your cute face or i will spank you!” he threw it aside and i put my head down. ew, what an ick. i cringe feeling a little insecure, thinking the thought of covid being a little while ago would save me, but i failed since i have lost my mask somewhere in the wind. i keep my head down for a little before he pulls me into yet another tight hug, my cheeks soon being pinched and my ears ringing from the excessive amounts of compliments he threw at me. he’s really not getting the hint, i don’t like him! how is he not seeing it? “friends” my butt.. i try being nice to him but in the end he never respects my boundaries and ends up making me uncomfortable with his never dying efforts. i beg my friends to distract him for a little to allow me to get some fresh air, i just need to take a little walk without him being all up in my face for a at least a minute. one minute of peace is all i need.

i let out a sigh of relief as i watch him disappear inside the the club along with my besties, closing my eyes, simply enjoying the soft breeze. its a little chilly but not too cold, just the right amount of air hitting my face as i walk, just the refreshment i needed. i continue walking an unknown path all by myself, making sure to not stray too far from my friends, this place can be full of creeps but today for some reason unknown, i’m not afraid. my feet stop me in some random alley nearby, and that’s when i finally decide to properly open my eyes, looking up instead of the floor. at some point i stop walking forward and turn my head to the left. maybe it was the muted chatter coming from that side luring me in, maybe it was the lights that reflected so nicely that drew my attention. my body became stuck as my eyes reached an unknown figure, just a guy resting on the side of the wall, thick black glasses framing his face, his outfit also resembling a uniform occupied by the phone in his hands. he seemed to play some kind of a game on it. as if he felt my eyes unknowingly scanning him, he looked up from his phone and the second our eyes met, everything went into slow motion. for a moment it felt like time had suddenly stopped, almost as if i could feel every second turn into a whole minute, holding my breath unknowingly. i can never hold eye contact, not even with my friends but.. is it supposed so feel this deep? i’ve never seen such sad eyes, but.. why do i feel so much comfort? i swear i’ve seen those eyes before i just can’t figure out where..he feels so safe and peaceful? i feel like.. i’m a little kid again.. feeling a certain way i haven’t felt since i lost my grandpa, he was my favourite person in the world.. what even is this feeling? am i drunk? oh wait, i didn’t even drink yet.. even the wind is moving in slow motion, wtf is happening.

before i get the chance to peel my eyes away, his phone falls to the ground with a thud as it slips from his hands. even though he’s across from me, i could hear the screen shatter and my eyes widen as i turn around and quickly run back to meet up with my friends, letting out a breath i held in the entire moment. i made him break his phone by being creepy oh my god, whoever he is i hope he doesn’t bump into me tonight. i would have to pay for his phone or something, I’ve got about 20 bucks and a strawberry flavoured lollipop. i doubt that’s enough-

great now i’m back being trapped inside a club with a dude who’s desperately trying to make me his girlfriend. speaking of girlfriend… i’ve noticed hwa, but… she went to the mens bathrooms? maybe it wouldn’t hurt to approach her, this is the perfect opportunity! it’s a sign. i think as i walk closer to the door. i should let her know she went to the wrong bathrooms accidentally and get to know her that way. girls bathrooms are such a easy place to start conversations for some reason. oh- she looked into the mirror in front of her, her eyes locking with mine for a split second. i swear i saw her smirk. what the hell is going on! i panic, running back to ningning, surprised when i don’t see ryujin next to her. “i just saw hwa…going into the men’s bathroom??? where the hell is ryujin?” ningning swayed her body to the beat of the music for a little before agreeing to go get some fresh air with me. “i think she went to say hi to wooyoung” she screamed over the loud music as we made our way outside. oh yeah i totally forgot he would be here, i should probably greet him too, i have to witness this iconic moment of them meeting.

i excitedly skip outside the club, arms linked with ningning, trying to find our bestie and the guy she doesn’t even know, but won’t stop drooling over. as soon as the outside air hits me, so does someone’s words. “is miffy here?” huh.. me..? i look around and find the owner of the voice and my smile drops a little. the same man i saw just moments ago, those thick frames resting on his face. he’s now talking to ryujin. “oh, she’s right here.” she exclaims as i blink, confused looking between the two of them. how does he know my name?? and why is he speaking to her, and why does he know of my existence.. where have i heard his voice.. did he possibly approach her to ask her to pay for his phone cuz he saw us together?i’m so screwed. my mind goes 30 thoughts per second as i try to understand the situation.

“hey miffy, and her friend that i don’t know the name of” he says and my mind connects the dots. i know this voice. i know this dude, no wonder his eyes were so familiar.. it’s wooyoung.. oh god. i can’t allow myself to look up anymore as i just nod, closing my mouth that opened in shock, waving my hand as the other one clutches to ningning. “that’s ningning, but we call her ningi” ryujin says and he repeats questionably. “should we exchange instagrams?” he suggests passing his now cracked phone to ryujin, her excitedly typing her username into the search and passing the phone to ningning soon after. he takes the phone out her hands, offering it to me jokingly. “oh yeah, i don’t need yours i already have it” he waves it in my face, seeming too happy for the fact i accidentally broke his phone earlier. seeing my profile already pulled up on his screen my heart drops a little, his phone is done for, and it’s my fault. “is..your phone okay?” my stupid mind blurts out as if i was blind, or stupid, which i am both actually.

he laughed tucking it away into his pocket. out of sight, out of mind. “it’s just a little scratch, don’t worry about it” he says assuringly and my head dips down in embarrassment again, what a great way to interact with friends! god i’m hopeless. i didn’t even recognise him without his mask, it’s my first time seeing his face but still.. ryujin keeps trying to make small talk but i feel his gaze on me and i tug on ningning’s arm. “we should probably get going, let’s give them some privacy, ningi”. she nods in agreement but he cuts me off. “actually i have to get going but, i’ll see you around?” he asks but it feels like he’s not speaking to all of us. ah right, i forgot i’m the only one who he actually interacted with before. i’m like his friend now, of course he’s relying on me, god i suck at communicating. i nod and just as he was about to leave ryujin grabs a hold of his arm, whining slightly. “noo, don’t go yet” he looks back at her almost panicked, trying to pull his arm back. “pleasee” she tugs on his arm not letting go. he wiggles out of her grip, running off with a wave. “sorry!!” he disappears into thin air, leaving her confused and clinging to us. ah… damn this.

she’s basically heart broken right now because he pretty much just rejected her on the spot. as soon as she approached him revealing her identity he told her he’s not looking for any relationship, and right after that asked her about me. and now she’s embarrassed for grabbing onto him like that. well.. i mean since were at a party might as well enjoy it. well not really, we were kind of avoiding tsurugi and his attempts to grope me, followed by him moving onto a totally random girl, giving her almost identical treatment except this one actually seems to enjoy it, i swear this man has no shame. i gotta go fix my eyesight, i suggest a walk to some nearby shop to get some snacks since we all got a bit hungry.

i approached one of the friends i’ve made earlier that night, asking her for directions since we have no clue where the nearest shop is or where the hell we actually are. “we can go with you, imma just get a few more buddies so you can wait for us outside” she says and i excitedly skip outside, happy to take a walk with more new friends despite being shy and not knowing how to. i hear laugher and chatter as i turn around, seeing her along with a bunch of people. some faces i haven’t seen yet, some i have, hwa being one of them. oh crap, there’s no way. she’s coming too, i’m so gonna piss myself. i cling onto my friends once again, trying to look calm even tho i was fangirling inside (and probably on the outside too).

our walk was fun, people joking around and talking about random things, singing and dancing around, showing off the alcohol in their blood stream. everyone, everyone except hwa. she was just smiling and watching everyone interact, kinda like i tend to do in bigger crowds. she remained quiet until someone asked her a question, and that’s when i heard her voice for the first time and realised something is a little bit off. not just a little.. she doesn’t sound like what i expected..but not that it’s an issue just.. hold up.. the voice.. the bathroom..

she’s a he? hwa is a guy??!!! what the-

[snow-lavender]

now that we're a week out from the finale, i'm feeling settled enough to make my sappy post. TL;DR is: fable has been incredibly important to me, and i think it's a story that's important to have out there. to the community and cast, you've made something beautiful and helped me more than you could know.

so here we go-

i started watching fable in the summer of 2022, to kill time in between summer courses (and thank fuck for that, cause my brain desperately needed to have some fun after 5 hours a day of doing psych stats by hand.) i was originally pulled in by vo'lete, as dissecting a conlang is really fun to me. it became basically the only media i consumed, as 2022/2023 was the fourth year of my BA and i was crazy busy. and then the characters pulled me in further with their earnestness and their devotion to redemption and compassion.

i think one of the theses of fable is "people always deserve happiness. doing awful things doesn't erase your ability to change." and i think the simplicity and love of that take hit really close to home. in the era of modern fandom where bad actors try to make everything black and white, it's an important point to make.

i started making shitposts on tumblr, started enaging with stories from an analysis standpoint again, and found a lot of joy in the community here. i don't have the words for what that means to me, so i'll just default to you guys are great <3

then mid-august happened

those of you who frequent rin's streams might have caught bits and pieces of this, but basically, i had a fall and my knee became royally fucked beyond belief. it can only be fixed with a surgery that's not very common. the pain was (and still is) debilitating to the point that i had to drop out of my second degree, and couldn't walk more than like, a block every few days. my life, my dreams, my future all got put on hold. i was in a new city with no supports, no friends, and no way to leave my apartment. fable went from the only media i consumed to the only thing i did, period.

the fandom became the only people i talked to regularly, other than my family, as online relationships were the only ones possible to maintain. in fableblr and in rin's chat i've found people who i really click with, people whose company i enjoy and who enjoy mine. when i was lying in bed, feeling so alone and less than human, having people on the internet go "i know who you are and you are making an impact," quite frankly, kept me sane. i know i don't talk to people super often, but know that seeing you in my notifs brings me so much joy, and i'd love to talk to you more.

to assuage any worries- i'm doing a bit better now. i've moved back in with my parents so i have human contact and people who can make up for the things i can't do. i have a new doctor who is taking the severity of my condition very seriously and is fighting to get me treated asap. i'll be okay.

so yeah. fable has been super important to me, and will remain so! for me it's a story with so much joy and deep feelings and rediscovery of passions and just. fun. it's been so much fun. and i'm not letting go of that fun any time soon. i'm gonna keep making and watching and enjoying.

to sage, corn, and cob- you guys are great, i cherish every time we get to talk. i hope that it's okay that i count you among my friends

to my other mutuals and people who are here frequently- recognizing you in my notes is such a joy and i hope to get to know you better. y'all are cool and i'm glad you think i'm funny

to rin- thank you for nurturing your little community and creating a space where i have so much fun. also thank you for putting up with my constant setting off of automod

to beck- thank you for making a story that explores sisterhood in all its ugliness and beauty, that shows how even families full of love can fuck up, that holds space for loneliness and loss and joy and fear and new beginnings

to the rest of the cast- thank you for making a story with so many varied and yet connected points, characters and world. with so much love in it. you've truly done something special here and its impact will not be forgotten

to all of you- thank you for knowing my name. thank you for breathing life and joy into these stories. i can't wait to see what else we make. <3

[starryjkoo]

https://www.tumblr.com/starryjkoo/764086905378881536/httpswwwtumblrcomstarryjkoo76407096882620006?source=share

I'm just reading this now since i was inactive (going again) so I'm replying now (not saying you were waiting for my reply but I'm the same anon who's ask this was 😅)

I don't really have anything to add other than I agree with everything you said there. i know all those accounts you're talking about, i even know the "random taekook" account you said there without u mentioning their @ because guess what? been there done that kinda..i saw that tkkr saying all those "Just because i follow TK biased doesn't mean I'm tkkr" this that bs when 99% tweets are about TK and them following all sort of tkkrs ones that drag jm too lol. and their little ot7 followers backing up them..idk who they're trying to fool as if we can't smell a trash from miles away 😭

being honest u don't need to be chronically online to see what is the shit that's going on in Fandom or How it's filled with Tkkrs. a newly entered fan can tell it's full of Tkkrs so idk what pleasure others get by Lying saying TK are most hated in Fandom (just Today i saw those tweets with thousands of likes).

What pisses me off tho is ot7 jkkrs acting like many of the armys don't hate jm deep down. saying "They're hating on jm so they're not army" is such a bs thing to say and literally big jkk blogs here say that but ask them why they generalize solos because there's good solos too who just support one member in peace without dragging anyone but nope for them "If you stan only one member then you're an anti" like who gets to decide that? You? and who are you? their logic is just as useless as kpopies to me. You're the only jkkr who even talked about all the things happening with jm others are too ot7s to even address those things. Them saying that Fandom majorly doesn't dislike jm because of TK as a ship is funny because the same Fandom was seen begging Tkkrs for help when taehyung and Jennie's video was leaked but sure.

Hope the deserved people gets their karma back is all i can hope for now because i know for a fact that things are going to get worse in future Especially with what's going on with hybe and tkkrs loser ass Linking all of that to "jm is company's fav and they force Jkk" shit.

hi anon! no I’m happy to hear from you again, it makes me feel more sane to see people with the same opinions on some of this lol 😭

Yeah, that one account who just makes corny tkk shipping jokes and is very clearly an actual tkkr but you had half of ARMYtwt coming to their defense because they were all part of the same clique and most of them are “tk-biased”. They were laughing saying that using a duo name doesn’t mean you’re a shipper but when people were pulling up screenshots of them literally reading AUs they would just deflect lmao 😭 It’s just embarrassing.

And yeah I saw that too, a big and popular account talking about tkk being the most hated 🥴 just the audacity to say that, as if we don’t all have eyes and see the absurd amount of followers and engagement tkk accounts have on EVERY platform. And I could write a thesis on the absolute obsession ARMYs have w/ a tk-subunit just proving how deeply enmeshed the tkk shipping bias is in this fandom. And talking about the fandom hating a duo, I could write another thesis on how ARMYs are insanely weird towards Jikook, like damn AYS just drove that home for me.

Yeah, the hardcore OT7 jkkrs who deny that the fandom treats Jimin weirdly are just bizarre to me. Literally right now there’s discourse going on about US streams and you can find multiple hit tweets where they are straight up shading and attacking Jikook up and down in the comments, especially JM (they’re for sure getting nastier towards JK about this but some of them can at least concede that he has GP/popularity, but for some reason the bulk of ARMYs think that w/ JM it must be favoritism bc in their minds they decided that tkk were miles ahead of him in popularity despite his solo music ALWAYS performing the best or second best in the group). Like throw a dart at a board and you can find a random reason that ARMYs resent JM, whether it be over associating him with his solos the most (literally HYBE saw and marked this as a problem??) to just the fact that ARMYs are literally full of tkkrs who ALWAYS resent him on some level. Bizarre for jkkrs of ALL people to try and deny this as hard as some of them do? (and like I said I’m not saying JM is the only member who gets weird treatment from ARMYs sometimes, but he for sure gets it the most by virtue of tkkrs being as big as they are if nothing else. There are still tons of ARMYs who love him tho obviously).

And 100% on some jkkrs/ARMYs trying to say that people who hate JM aren’t ARMY to wash their hands of the issue. It’s literally not true because half the people shading him consider themselves ARMYs, a lot of tkkrs consider themselves ARMYs, ARMYs literally make up the following and likes of toxic tkk accounts, so what are they even talking about? That attitude is literally why it got so bad and we are where we are. Like just say you don’t care about Jimin and go I guess.

It's like we can be fandom critical and still care about/be a part of the fandom, this is the way it's been for me and literally any community I’ve ever been a part of? If you care about something you want to make it better which means looking inward and trying to identify and fix the problems. I get there’s a fine line between being critical and “victimizing” and “solo narratives” and “manti narratives” but c’mon, we can use critical thinking to differentiate, yeah? Because not every fandom/company complaint makes you a “solo” or “manti”. Just insane to me.

There’s so many issues with hardcore OT7 logic that we could get into tbh, but you’re right in that there’s nothing wrong with liking only one or two members as long as you’re not hating on the others. And tbh there’s nothing wrong with not liking and supporting all of them equally when isn’t it just normal to have preferences and to stream the music you enjoy the most? And just a note, the funny thing is that a good chunk of ARMYs who complain about this ARE pretty heavily biased, they just don’t want to admit it, even to themselves. And that’s one of the reasons diet-solos emerge and are so prevalent in the fandom right now.

I think the karma is definitely the fandom falling apart at the seams right now (even though sadly good people are getting punished for it). It’s toxic as hell in ARMY spaces, good ARMYs have left in droves, our charting is not great for non-Jikook (part of this I just blame on HYBE and their bad strategy of relying wholly on the fandom, or maybe it’s some of the members strategy tbf, but whoever decided, it wasn’t a good idea). I mean, I guess we’ll see what happens when BTS return, maybe more people will return and things will improve/stabilize somewhat but I also don’t think there’s really ever going back to how things were in the fandom either. Plus BTS are going to focus on group work for a minute, but it’s never going to be the same rate as pre-CH2, the solo careers are here to stay and we have no idea what the actual balance of solo/group/subunit work will be yet. I guess we’ll see but at least we know the karma is that JM antis and tkkrs are like the most miserable jobless people on the planet and JM is happy and healthy and wealthy and loved, so there’s that if nothing else. Stantwt in general just full of miserable losers.

Anyways sorry for yapping so much again lmao, I resonate with you on all these issues, I could go on forever about some of this lol so I’ll stop. And for sure, it would be nice for more jkkrs to talk about this kind of stuff tbh, at least the ones who are active in the fandom. And yeah the situation with the HYBE leaks and how they’re already doing the most to twist and start another smear campaign on JM and jkk, just insane 🫠 you know if solo fights were just name-calling it wouldn’t be as much of an issue, I don’t feel like some people understand the kind of damage these groups are doing and the lengths they go to. But we will just keep streaming and supporting and doing our best I guess 😭 same old same old, always something insane happening.

[elfenbensord]

Can I request platonic George Weasley x reader remembering Fred based on the song so far away by A7X?

Maybe a month after the twins opened their shop, Fred proposed to Y/N, and she's been crying into one of his sweaters for at least two weeks after he died?

a/n: i legit forgot that fred died and was so sad when i remembered. could not find the song but listened to ‘far away’ by carole king instead. hope you like it!

pairing: george weasley x platonic!reader

summary: reader and george are managing life after losing fred just fine, until (y/n) finds a box which was meant for them. angst with fluff ending!

warnings: panic attack, grief, mentions of character death

28.10.23

so far away

It was a normal afternoon, really. The shop had been busy like always, and you’d been managing your day just fine. You and George were finding a way through life in this new, uncomfortable constellation. Trying your best to piece together what was left of your existence before.

After spilling invisible ink on your shirt – invisible, still wet – you’d gone up to the closet to find a replacement shirt.

Fred’s shirts. His knitted jumpers and corduroy pants, his fancy suit bought for a “future occasion” as he’d called it. A stray sock, a failed experiment hiding in the back. The ache that had settled into your body ever since that night became sharper, a stinging pain making it hard to breathe. To feel the smell of him, sense how his body had once filled them out with warmth and hugs. It was all too much. 

Sitting down on the floor of the closet, you try to breathe like your healer had taught you.

Out, in. Out, in. Out, in.

The ground – or rather, one of his old coats – was lumpy and uncomfortable. You try to smooth out the garment, but instead touch your fingers to something velvety, soft and delicate. Pulling the unknown object out, you drop a small, velvety black box into your lap.

Pang. There goes your heart. 

You didn’t have to open the box to know what it was. It was a promise of a future, of love, of children and house and dog and a happily ever after. All things that were now an impossible dream.

Your heart starts beating faster, launching you into a deepening spiral once again.

“Fuck”, you say between gritted teeth. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck-”

“Hey, you okay?” you hear George shout from the bottom of the stairs. “I’m just gonna close up the shop, then I’ll be up!”

Tears were streaming down your cheeks, unstoppable and wet. You were shaking, as you couldn’t take your eyes away from the box. Stupid, you thought. It’s so stupid. 

You hear George come into the hallway, closing the front door behind him. Hurrying to stand up, you wipe your face and do your best to compose yourself, before going to the hallway to greet him. 

Everything’s fine. I’m fine, you tell yourself. 

George looks tired, but there’s still the attempt of a smiling facade. “Sorry for disappearing on you, I– My shirt, it got inkstained–”

“No, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it!” He smiles softly at you. You feel as if your heart is being crushed inside your chest.

He keeps going, still not noticing your mood. “I just saw the cutest cat outside, I’m seriously considering adopting it into the shop. Wouldn’t that be cute, a cat in the shop?”

“I don’t want a cat!” You didn’t know why you suddenly got so angry. You didn’t try to hide your crying, your upsetness. “I don’t- I don’t want that.”

“Gees, it’s fine. It was just an idea.”

“Yeah, well, it was stupid”, you bite back. 

“Where is this coming from?” George’s voice is soft, his eyes glistening with concern.

You can’t hold back anymore. “I don’t want a cat, I want Fred. I want him to be here. He should be here.”

George looks back at you, eyes wide. 

You continue. “I found his stupid ring in that stupid box. And I hate it. I hate that he got a ring. I hate that it’s probably the perfect ring. I hate that I’ll probably love it. I hate that he never gave it to me. I hate that he probably had a stupid plan for proposing – don’t look so innocent, you were most definitely involved – and then he didn’t. Why didn’t he?”

After a beat of silence, George says without meeting your eyes, “He was gonna. That… That night. He was gonna do it that night.”

“Oh, God…” you sigh. 

Tears are glistening in his eyes now. He clears his throat. “For the record, I hate it too. I hate everyday without him. It’s like someone’s ripped off my arm, and my leg and a lung. Like, I don’t know how to move. How to breathe. Or to do anything.”

You look at him. “Can we just agree that this sucks?”

"Definitely."

Like magnets, you’re pulled together in a tight hug. Grasping for each other, trying to find a comfort long gone. 

You let out a sigh. “It all just… sucks so much. Too much.”

“It’s the worst!” George agrees.

Taking a breath, you say, “You know what would suck even more?”

“What?”

“If you weren’t here. Like, I definitely wouldn’t have been able to keep going without you. It would’ve sucked too hard to even try.”

George squeezes you tighter. “Yeah. I’m glad you’re here too.”

Pulling away, he smiles meekly. You smile back.

[fluentmoviequoter]

The Freak and The Princess (IV)

Summary: Eddie lets you walk by during his rant in the cafeteria, stumped by your quietness and manners toward the town freak. He then decides to be the perfect gentleman. [Part 4/5] 1.2k+ Words

Warnings: nightmare (about death), stress about the future (angst?), meddling best friends Steve and Robin, Jason Carver returns. I think that's all!

A/N: This part is written from a different perspective to give a glimpse into Eddie's life and thoughts! I edited this and proofread it, but please point out any errors or things you like! My requests are open! Hope you enjoy! :)

Part I. Part II. Part III. Part IV. Part V.

The Freak and the Princess

Part Four: The Freak

“No, no! You cannot die on me!” Eddie pleaded with tears streaming down his cheeks. “I just got you; I can’t lose you!” He watched as her eyes closed and her hand lost its grip on his. “No. I love you, princess.”

Eddie woke with a jolt, sheets all over the place, a thin sheen of sweat covering his skin, and tears rolling down his face. It felt so real; he thought she was gone. Eddie kicked the sheets off the bed, stepped over the pile, and walked around the trailer, trying to find anything to get his mind off the image of his princess dead in his arms. He struggled to go back to sleep, fighting the temptation to call her and ensure she was alright. When he finally fell asleep again, his mind drifted to his princess and the life they could have.

“Princess? You ready?” Eddie asked as he knocked on her door.

The door was pulled open a second later, revealing his princess holding her bag and extending a muffin to him.

“Yes, sorry I’m late. Here, I made blueberry muffins.”

Eddie happily bit into the treat, groaning in delight as he tasted it. “Of course, you can bake. What can’t you do?”

“Legally drive.” She smiled as she accepted his hand to climb into the passenger seat of his van.

“True, but that works out for my benefit too, so win-win?” he asked, popping the last bite of the muffin into his mouth and shifting his van into reverse. He looked over to see her nodding and smiling.

"How ya doin', princess?"

“I’m fine. Tired.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I just stayed up a little too late stress baking.”

“What are you stressed about?” Eddie was concerned, his thoughts drifting to his dream before he had a chance to stop them.

“Nothing specific, I guess. Finals, graduation, college, all that stuff." Her eyes were on her lap as she answered.

“You’ll ace your exams, princess.” He truly believed she’d do well but did not want her to move away to college in the fall.

The conversation shifted to D&D and music before they walked into school and went their separate ways. Eddie’s mind drifted to his princess, and he had to consciously fight to pay attention in class; he wanted – needed - to graduate with her this year. When lunch finally rolled around, he collapsed at the Hellfire lunch table with a sigh, drawing the attention of everyone present.

“What’s up, Eddie?” Dustin asked.

“Nothing,” Eddie lied.

“Is it your princess? I saw her going into the headmaster’s office earlier,” Lucas asked, shoving a piece of candy in his mouth.

“What? When?” Eddie lifted his head, suddenly concerned.

“Before last period.”

Eddie went to his locker after lunch, opened it, and found a note:

‘I left early, but I’ll be back for Hellfire. -Princess’

His mind started racing, and questions ran through his mind. Did something happen? Why did she leave, and where did she go? He pushed the thoughts back and went to his least favorite class, Mrs. O’Donnell’s English. After his last class, he went straight to the club meeting room but couldn't focus on the game. The boys started filing inside a few minutes early, talking about their characters and what they were doing over the weekend.

“Eds?” Eddie heard a quiet voice say from the doorway. 

He looked up and saw his princess point over her shoulder, asking him to come with her. He stood up and followed her into the hallway, trying to ignore the fluttering in his heart at the new nickname.

“Is everything ok? I’ve been worried about you all afternoon,” he explained, a hand landing on her bicep.

“Yeah. The headmaster had some stuff to talk to me about. We went over some of my college applications and I left to go to the library for essay research,” she answered.

“Oh. Well, I have no doubt the schools will be fighting over you.”

“I don’t know, Eddie. I’ve been so stressed about finals and college, but I don’t even know what I’d be good at or if I can get into any schools,” his princess countered quickly, her shyness present in her insecurities. “Honestly, I don’t know if I even want to go to college, because I don’t want to leave you.”

“Hey,” Eddie interrupted, pulling her closer. “You will get in, trust me. And if you decide to leave Hawkins, I’m right beside you. If it comes down to me or your dreams, choose your dreams.”

“I’m not going-“ his princess began.

“Eddie! It’s time to start!” Dustin yelled from inside.

Eddie and his princess returned, sitting in their usual seats and playing as if they hadn’t just been discussing a future with one another. When the game ended and the boys left, Eddie hugged his princess, holding her as closely as possible and burying his face in her neck.

“Eddie, are you alright?” She returned the hug as she spoke.

“I…” Eddie cleared the tightness from his throat before continuing, “dreamed you died in my arms. And then you disappeared today and it just- it scared me.”

“I am so sorry,” she said, squeezing him tighter.

“It’s not your fault; I’ll be ok. Wanna go to Family Video and get a movie? I don’t think either of us should be alone tonight.”

She nodded against his chest, not wanting to let go yet. He squeezed again, head on her shoulder. His hand found hers as they exited the school and headed to Family Video. As soon as they walked in, Steve and Robin looked up at them as if they knew something no one else did.

“Munson, a word?” Steve asked.

“You’re with me,” Robin added, pointing to Eddie’s princess.

They reluctantly separated, Eddie and Steve moving toward the front window as Robin and the princess went to the back room.

“Munson, you have to tell her. You’re not helping anything by keeping it bottled up,” Steve started.

“What are you getting at here, Harrington?”

“You’re in love with her. Tell her before you lose your chance.”

“She’s going to college; she’s leaving soon, and I am holding her back.”

“What if not telling her is holding her back? What if she wants to know how you feel?”

“Why would she want to know that I’m in love with her?”

“Because she feels the same, idiot!”

“Whoa, easy with the names. Honestly, I want nothing more than to believe you, I want to be with her, but she can do amazing things and I just-“

“Eddie,” Steve interrupted, “telling her isn’t going to stop her from doing great things. I’m willing to bet she already told you she doesn’t want to leave.”

“She did.”

“Everyone she loves is here, she doesn’t have anyone else. She deserves to know. Don’t you think?”

Eddie groaned. “I hate that you’re right.”

“So, you will tell her?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“I’ll wait ‘til she isn’t so stressed.”

Steve heard the phone ring once, silencing as he watched Robin answer it. She handed the receiver to Eddie’s princess, who faced the wall as she listened with tense shoulders. After a few moments of silence, she hung up the phone and took a shaky breath, tears building as she looked at Eddie.

“That was Jason Carver.”

Taglist: @loonalockley @paleidiot @kimmi-kat

[teasdays]

Hi hello I'm your friendly neighbourhood ghost, can I pretty please have the context about Wilbur abuse??? If you are ok with it of course , And thank you, I hope you are having a great day

hi hello ghost! Yeah no worries, I bet it's... difficult to wade through everything that's been going on

So last week, Shubble (streamer, she/they) hosted a stream about their experiences with an unnamed abuser. You can watch it here (if you prefer to read, turn on CC & read the transcript). It's a pretty hard-hitting video, and people pretty immediately guessed that it was, in fact, Wilbur Soot. He's since confirmed it himself in a statement/kind of apology (?) which u can find on his twitter... Shubble has, understandably, rejected it.

That's the short answer!

Uh for a longer one lol, there's more info here: this is an EXCELLENT conversation Shubble had (before W*lbur was officially named) with her friend lexiemariex. They both talk about the abuse and misogyny they've faced as women dating within the streaming community. Neither of them named anyone at this point either, and I actually haven't had time to watch the whole thing yet !! But about 45 minutes in so far they have both shared a lot of really important perspectives on domestic abuse, their experiences as victims (in their words) during & in recovery from those relationships, and about the really harmful norms within streaming.

Just to add a couple comments of my own: if a community is MAINLY dominated by white cis men, that's usually NOT a coincidence; it's usually (at least partly) because the environment is hostile to diversity. Several other people have also come forward about negative experiences with Shubble's ex in particular, but I REALLY think--personally--that it is a mistake to focus just on him. He is, for better or worse, Just Some Guy: it REALLY sounds like his behaviours reflect a deeply harmful culture within streaming. We can't and should not try to cancel all streamers, obviously! But... if we REALLY want to centre survivors? We need to hold the whole community accountable for the CULTURE they've gotten comfortable with.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting that all white men in streaming are malicious people, who only want to hurt/abuse/have power over the weak & helpless women in their sphere. But there's been writing on the wall for a long time: there's a lot of casual misogyny that we HAVE seen streamers ignore, even if they wouldn't (necessarily...) make those jokes themselves. I do NOT have receipts on hand lol, but that's been my observation over the years. So I think it's... too simplistic to say that Shubble's ex, and lexie's, were just outliers. A couple of bad eggs.

We can cancel them, and exile them from streaming, sure--fine. We certainly don't owe anyone a platform. But we also NEED to look beyond the individual people & understand that every single one of them is a product of their culture and community.

tl;dr Shubble's ex is shitty, for sure, but he's not the whole problem! He's a symptom.

oh omg last thing actually: as people navigate how to respond to unfeminist/antifeminist content creators, I'd like to recommend Roxane Gay's perspective in Bad Feminist (excerpt here). As people who consume media, we have to understand that our consumption will always be imperfect, because (again) the problems are deeply embedded in like. the whole culture . We can & will continue to work for a better future, but in the meantime we've gotta forgive ourselves & our comrades for being imperfect <3

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Honor and Espionage Part Two

Aramis x Reader

Words: 5013

Part One

Summary: Shut away in the ambassador’s mansion with a woman who knows her true identity, the reader attempts to complete her task. Aramis must wait helplessly as the fatal night ticks on. 

Notes: I cannot even begin to explain how much of a chokehold this man has me in. Aramis has stolen my heart, and I hope there are those of you who can relate! Let me know what you think, these are just such fun characters. (I also plan to do more with this reader/Aramis dynamic in the future, including the story of how they met)

Warnings: Violence, blood, angst, more steaminess 

Find more Musketeers: HERE

-

The doors closed and the last of the guests appeared to be inside. Aramis tucked his spyglass away with a frustrated sigh. He could see you now in his mind, your dazzling smile winning over the guests and the ambassador, your charm earning your way to more secluded areas of the house. Areas with information. Areas with proof of his treason. Aramis had seen firsthand how skilled and precise you were at your job. But that didn’t keep the turning in his gut from adding to the pained worry in his chest. 

The musketeer leaned back against the bark of the tree he’d hidden behind. The others were in similar positions, all glancing up at the house for any sign of trouble. 

D’Artagnan shifted, leaning toward him with a raised brow. “How do you do it?” He asked. “I imagine marriage would be hard enough when only one of you is a musketeer, but both of you?”

Aramis looked up at the boy and found only innocent curiosity on his face, as well as a hint of admiration. He inhaled deeply and ran a hand through his hair. Aramis knew of the younger man’s complicated feelings for a particular merchant’s wife. Perhaps all he was looking for was a little hope. 

“It isn’t easy, but I’m sure you’ve gathered that,” he said, a small smile teasing his lips. “But I think it helps us understand each other more than we would if we lived in a cottage somewhere.” Aramis chuckled. “Perhaps understand isn’t the right word…” In all his years of knowing you, he found that your mind was one he had yet to comprehend. Luckily, trying was one of his favorite activities. 

“What is then?” D’Artagnan rested his arm on his knee and tilted his head. “The right word?” 

Aramis contemplated the question for a while, listening to the distant sounds of the forest around the ambassador’s property and the occasional laugh streaming from one of the open windows. 

“I don’t know, ‘appreciate,’ I suppose,” he answered. D’Artagnan noticed the intense sincerity overtaking his features. “I cherish every moment I have with her because of everything we’ve been through. I worship each second breathing the same air as her as if any inhale may be my last. Because when I even think of a world where her voice has been silenced and her heart has been stopped…” He trailed off, turning back to the house. “I know my soul would follow her, even if my body could not.” 

Porthos’s deep and thoughtful laugh joined their conversation. He sat with his head tilted back and a smirk on his face. 

“Always the romantic hero type, eh?” He said. “Both you and her.” 

“Yes, Porthos, I am a man guilty of loving my wife and she is guilty of the same. Tease all you like.” Aramis smiled to himself, still facing the place where his wife could be in danger and he’d have no way of knowing until it was too late. 

Porthos shifted so he was sitting beside him. He put a hand on his shoulder, gaze following his worried friend’s. 

“She’ll be alright, yeah? She always is.” 

“And if anything happens, we’re ready,” D’Artagnan added. 

Athos merely nodded but Aramis felt his support. All four men contemplated the situation in silence, each plagued with his own thoughts and concerns. Aramis forced slow breaths to calm himself but reached again for his spyglass to peer through any windows he had a clear sight of. 

D’Artagnan thought of the fierceness he’d already witnessed- had even been on the receiving end of- and had faith in your abilities. He felt sorry for anyone inside who’d be unfortunate enough to cross you. 

-

With the man who was to be your escort now rotting away with poison in his belly, you had to alter your story to one Treville would likely have a headache of explaining later on. Rather than the daughter of a prominent merchant in the area, you’d presented yourself as a friend of the king of France’s sister, the Duchess of Savoy, who was traveling with her brother- unable to attend the dinner due to a head cold he gained on the journey- and looking for an advantageous marriage. A forward approach, of course, but luckily it seemed the ambassador couldn’t resist a good challenge of pursuit. All of the other guests seemed to buy your story as well. 

Almost all of them. 

As you giggled mindlessly at something Laurent had said, you could feel the harsh, burning glare from your rival across the table. Milady de Winter, making conquests of her own, ensured that you couldn’t ignore her presence. Her intentions, you had yet to decipher, but you knew her presence could only mean trouble for you. 

Why had the cardinal sent a spy after the ambassador? Did he have the same information as Treville or were his motivations more sinister, as they often were? 

“Tell me, mademoiselle,” Milady began, the same knowing smugness in her voice as before, “what do you think of the rumors growing in Paris regarding the musketeers dueling with Cardinal Richelieu's noble Red Guard? I, for one, have been frightened of even stepping outside of my door.” 

Laurent grunted with an approving nod and took a drink of his wine. “A bunch of lawless miscreants, the lot of them.” He leaned forward so only the two of you could hear. “You know, I’ve heard that the imbecile Captain Treville even has some of his men following me.” 

“You poor dear,” you cried, placing your hand beside his, “how awful to be pursued by those brutes. I’ve personally spoken to the cardinal recently and he couldn't agree more with… I’m sorry, I don’t believe I caught your name madame.” You stared pointedly at Milady. She didn’t blink. 

“Lady de Bonacieux.” 

You kept your face politely neutral, but inside you wanted to reach across and slap her. The use of your close friend’s last name was surely not a coincidence, but you failed to understand how she could know about your relationship with Constance. And her degradation of the musketeers was certainly meant to frustrate you, which meant she knew about your marriage to Aramis. But why not reveal you now? Why keep your identity a secret when it would benefit her much more to see the ambassador throw you out, or worse? 

“Ah, yes, we’ve met before,” you said. She wasn’t the only one with veiled threats up her sleeve. After all, you were not the only one here under false pretenses. “The cardinal introduced us once, did he not?” 

“I believe that was the occasion, yes.” 

“How lucky am I,” Laurent cheered, “to have friends of the cardinal’s on either arm.” 

You noted his boisterous tone and genuine glint in his eye. Either he was a much better liar than you anticipated, or there was something you had yet to discover. 

After dinner, Ambassador Laurent insisted on showing off his gardens to his guests before the men would separate to discuss subjects they felt were ‘too intense for the women’s delicate sensibilities.’ It always made you laugh, having to play the part of the naive ornament that they foolishly believed women to be. If any one of them could look into your mind and discover what you truly knew and understood, the burdens of knowledge you carried, they’d be terrified. 

Whereas, with your husband, your mind was his favorite thing about you. 

You pushed Aramis to the back of your thoughts again and continued batting your lashes at the idiots around you. 

Servants holding lanterns lined the paths of the garden, illuminated by the moonlight. Grand statues and topiaries were the center of Laurent’s boasts. You nodded and giggled and flattered until your brain was numb of boredom. 

A glint in the trees caught your eye. It was only for a second, but you could have sworn you saw movement. A flicker of silver. A contrast of blue-gray in the dark between the trees. 

You restrained yourself from groaning in frustration.

Surely, Athos was smarter than this. Surely, he wouldn’t allow for Aramis and the others to stake out the ambassador’s house because your husband was a touch too protective. Surely, they wouldn’t be that stupid. 

And yet… you knew it was them.

Aramis ducked behind the tree with his breath caught in his throat. 

“Do you think she saw me?” He whispered. Athos shot him a silencing glare. One trip, one loud noise could give away their presence. 

D’Artagnan eyed their leader and leaned over to Aramis. “She definitely saw you.” 

“Do you both want us to be shot?” Athos snapped. 

Aramis held a finger to his smirking lips. Athos’s blue eyes glared icy daggers. They all turned back to the group in the gardens and found that you’d looked away from their hiding spot. 

“Mademoiselle, have you seen your companion, Lady de Bonacieux?” Ambassador Laurent asked as he approached you. You’d only just noticed her absence yourself, sending a shock of panic through you that pushed the thoughts of your sneaking husband to the back of your mind. 

You gave Laurent a confused smile. “I haven’t, mousier. Perhaps she forgot something inside?” He looked to the house with a disappointed frown. “Oh, don’t let it upset you, sir. I’ll find her at once and we can continue our merriment.” 

There was something else in his expression, as well. A flicker of suspicion. But it was gone as soon as it had appeared, replaced by a smile of encouragement. 

“Don’t be gone long, my dear. I have yet to show you the largest of the statues.” 

“Of course.” You bowed and hurried back inside. 

In the trees, D’Artagnan’s teasing of Aramis halted with Porthos pointing to the gardens. 

“Look,” he said. Four pairs of eyes snapped over to watch you go. Porthos shook his head in confusion. “Where is she going?” 

“More importantly,” Athos said, motioning to another member of the gathering who retreated back into the house. “Where is he going?” Laurent’s ornately dressed form followed after you just long enough that you wouldn't notice. 

Aramis’s stomach dropped. He moved into a readied crouching position. “He’s discovered her. We have to help.” 

“Wait.” Athos held out a hand to stop him. “We must have faith in Y/N’s abilities. If we act too quickly, it could be a disaster for both her and us.” 

“But if he knows, he’ll kill her!” 

“Not with all of these people here,” Porthos noted the still full garden. “Even he’s not that stupid. He’d have to take her somewhere else if he’s going to kill her.”

“How surprisingly unhelpful,” Aramis snapped. 

But, with no other choice, he again remained, holding a clenched fist to his lips as he uttered more prayers he could only hope someone was listening to. 

Inside, you crept along the halls to the sounds of the crowd outside. You couldn’t help but wonder how many of them knew. How many knew of this man’s betrayal of his country and stood by and let it happen? How many helped him? 

You came upon a door on the second floor with movement and light streaming through the cracks. You removed the dagger you had strapped to your leg and opened it. Milady de Winter stood over the ambassador’s desk, rummaging through piles of parchment. 

“I expected a more subtle exit,” you said, closing the door behind you. “I believed you were more skilled than that. I thought wrong.” 

“Speed, in this situation, is favored for stealth, I’m afraid. Not all of us have musketeer husbands waiting to rescue us if this goes poorly.” She sneered at you over the countless letters and plans on the dark wood desktop. You froze. “Oh save me the shocked looks. It’s my job to know who you are.” 

“As it is mine to know who you work for,” you fired back. Of course, your marriage wasn’t a secret, but something about her knowing of Aramis made your skin crawl. “How did the cardinal find out about Laurent? No one else was supposed to know. Why would he send his favorite spy?” 

“Why indeed?” The growling voice behind you made your heart stop. A hand roughly grabbed your arm and the glower of Ambassador Laurent loomed over you. His burning gaze shifted over your shoulder. “What does the cardinal mean by this? I thought we had a deal?” 

“A deal?” You gasped, whirling around to look at Milady. “The cardinal is working with this traitor?” Laurent’s grip on your hand tightened and you forced a cry of pain back down your throat. 

“Unfortunately, you’ve run out of usefulness, ambassador. You’ve drawn too much attention to yourself, as this musketeer insider proves.” Milady said calmly. She raised her arm from behind the desk, aimed her pistol, and fired. “And someone has to clean up the mess.”

Laurent crumpled to the floor. 

Milady skirted around the desk with a cold, hard glare. “I’m afraid that goes for you too.” 

-

The crowd let out a collective gasp as the sharp sound rang through the night. The four men hiding in the shadows jumped to their feet. 

“Did you hear that?” Aramis exclaimed, not bothering to stay quiet anymore. 

“Steady, Aramis,” Athos urged, though he’d reached for his weapon. 

“We can’t wait any longer,” Porthos said. 

Aramis didn’t wait for an order. He dashed across the clearing separating them from the gardens. The other three swiftly followed. The guests gasped again upon seeing their approach. 

“Everyone remain calm,” Athos instructed. “We have everything under control.” His voice boomed with enough authority that nobody questioned him. 

Aramis’s feet carried him through the main door. Candlelight flickered in his vision. Gold shimmered from every surface it was nearly blinding. He whirled around, holding a hand out to stop the others, and listened. 

You dove for the weapon with one hand and slashed at her with your knife in the other. Milady knocked against the desk, sending parchment flying over the ambassador’s bloody body. 

“We could have made quite the team, you know,” she said. “The cardinal would have liked you, had you not married a musketeer of course. Aramis, isn’t it? I’m told he’s such a charmer.” She finished reloading her weapon. “Too bad you’ll never see him again. Husbands are useless anyway. He’ll betray you. Just wait.” 

You snatched a candlestick from the side table and launched it at her. She fired accidentally into the wall. In the bright flash of your weapon, a note caught your eye. There, on the edge of the desk, was a letter. In the moment you were able to read some of the words, you recognized it as Laurent’s plot to pay Savoyan soldiers to assassinate the king. And in the corner, was the cardinal’s signet. 

You swung your knife in Milady’s direction again, grabbing the letter and taking the second she had to reload to retreat. The ambassador’s guards met you in the hall. One reached for you. You plunged your knife into his arm and elbowed the other in the nose. If they pursued you, you didn’t turn to see. You ran. 

The second shot might as well have been through Aramis’s pounding heart. 

The third consumed his senses completely. 

With Porthos and Athos busy with more guards, he and D’Artagnan raced up the stairs. The ornate white marble brought them to the second floor where you laid with your back against the wall and a cloaked figure standing over you, gripping your arm as you screamed in agony. The figure tore something from your hands and hurried away without looking back. Aramis fired a shot but missed. 

“After her!” You shouted. You tried to pull yourself to your feet using the railing, but any movement in your arm shot searing pain through your body. Blood had already soaked the sleeve and side of your gown. 

“Go,” Aramis said to D’Artagnan. The young man sprinted after the assailant while Aramis rushed to your side. When his dark, beautiful eyes hovered over yours, you almost breathed a sigh of relief through your clenched teeth. 

“My arm,” you groaned. “The wretch shot me in the arm.”

Aramis examined the wound, lifting your limb gently. You took a sharp breath that sounded more like a whimper. He laid a hand on your cheek. 

“It’s bleeding too much.” Aramis unlatched his belt and wrapped it around your arm just below the shoulder. He tightened it and this time you couldn’t keep the scream at bay. “I know, love. But if I don’t remove the ball and sew the wound soon-”

“I’ll bleed to death,” you finished. There was a flicker of terror in his eyes. 

He saw the light leave your gaze, felt the warmth abandon your skin. He heard your final breaths as your blood stained his hands. He imagined his life without you. It was as dark and cold as a moonless night. The mere image of standing at your grave planted a seed of despair in his chest that he forced himself to push down in order to ensure that it didn’t become real. 

“That’s not going to happen.” 

Downstairs, Athos and Porthos’s battle showed no signs of ending. D’Artagnan returned with a shake of his head. Aramis put an arm under your legs and the other behind your back. He scooped you up and you bit back tears of anguish with every step as he ran. 

“I can walk,” you protested. “It’s my arm, not my ankle.” 

“Now is really not the time to argue, darling.” 

“What happened? Is she hurt?” D’Artagnan asked, keeping up beside you. 

“I need you to bandage her arm and apply pressure to the wound,” Aramis instructed. The younger musketeer tore off a piece of tapestry from the wall and wrapped it around your arm. 

“Sorry about this,” he said, pulling the fabric taught. 

You bit your lip and buried your face in Aramis’s chest. 

“What in God’s name happened?” Athos exclaimed. He and Porthos joined the rushing group. 

Aramis kept his eyes forward and his focus on you. “I need the ambassador’s cabin. She can travel on horseback and we need to get to a secure location for me to operate.” 

“Where is the ambassador?” Athos asked. 

You lifted your head. “He’s dead.” The four men exchanged a glance. You scoffed. “Don’t worry, I didn’t kill him.” 

“That might not matter,” Athos said. He held the door leading out to the path where carriages awaited. 

“What’s going on? Who are you?” The driver jerked the reins away from Porthos’s reaching hand. 

D’Artagnan lifted his gun. “We’re going to need to borrow this, monsieur.”

“Aramis, there’s something I need to tell you all,” you said, voice weaker than before. He lifted you into the carriage, keeping you close in his arms. 

“It will have to wait, darling.” He kissed your forehead. 

“But if I-”

“Don’t.” His tone was firm, but it shook with fear nonetheless. He gulped. “Everything is going to be fine.” 

-

A short ride away sat a small farmhouse, apparently abandoned. Porthos halted the carriage and the other two soon rejoined with the horses. Aramis hurried you inside. 

“She needs a drink. This is going to hurt.” 

Porthos held out a leather flask. “Why don’t we just do what you did with me?”

Aramis scowled. “I like her face the way it is. I’d rather you not damage it.” 

“I’ll have to agree with my husband on that.” You snatched the drink from his hand and downed as much as you could as quickly as the burning liquid allowed. You were already feeling the dizzy discomfort of losing so much blood from the inner side of your arm. “Before you start, I have to tell you all… I have to tell you… the ambassador was plotting to kill the king. And the cardinal was a part of it. That’s why he sent one of his spies to retrieve his letter. She’s the one who killed Laurent and the one who shot me. If you can find her, you may be able to expose the cardinal.” 

“We can worry about that later.” Aramis brushed a strand of hair off of your sweat-spotted forehead. “I’m taking care of you first. And I’m sorry, my love, but it is going to hurt.” His voice sounded as pained as you felt. The anguish in his eyes showed how much seeing you like this broke his heart. 

Finishing the rest of Porthos’s brandy, you gripped Aramis’s shoulder with your uninjured hand. 

“Do it.” 

Lacking the proper tools, Aramis took the sharpest knife he had and reluctantly plunged it into your gaping wound. The burn of the bullet was nothing compared to the blinding sting as he worked to remove the ball from your flesh. Athos gave you a piece of leather to bite down on, but even your muffled screams made Aramis sick to his stomach. 

“I know, mon amour. I’m sorry. It’ll be over soon, I promise. I’m so, so sorry.” He clenched his jaw and forced himself to focus. “I’ve almost… got it.” The gore-coated piece of metal fell into his palm. Blood poured out from your wound. Again, the sensory images of your failing body filled his mind. Your eyes struggled to stay open. He worked faster. “D’Artagnan, tighten the belt and hand me my needle.” 

“Is it supposed to bleed that much?” 

“Just do as I say!” 

You let the leather piece fall from your mouth and managed a weak smile. “This reminds me of when we were attacked by thieves on the way to Gascony,” you laughed, ignoring the growing haze in your head. 

“I think we have different accounts of that.” 

You smirked. “Only, I saved you that time.” 

Aramis shook his head, his lips teasing upward. He threaded his needle and held the point over a candle’s flame. 

“Like I said,” he examined the needle. “Different accounts.” 

The sharp point pierced your scarlet-stained skin. It didn’t hurt as much as removing the bullet. You squeezed your eyes shut, took shallow breaths, and tried to stay awake. 

“There.” Aramis sliced the thread and wrapped a fresh cloth around your arm. “It’s over. You’ve lost a lot of blood but, God willing, you’ll heal.” He adjusted the cushions beneath you and cupped your face in his hands. 

“Aramis,” you breathed weakly and placed your hand on his. Your voice was hardly above a whisper. 

“What is it, love?” 

You opened your eyes to his brown irises staring in panic. Your smirk grew. 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

He breathed a sigh of relief and brought your lips to his. 

Porthos chuckled behind him and slapped him on the shoulder. “That is a tough woman you’ve got yourself.” 

“Don’t celebrate just yet,” Athos warned, though he was smiling as well. “We have to make sure the wound doesn’t get infected.” 

“Your concern warms my heart, Athos,” you teased. You pushed yourself up on your good arm and tried to stand. But the blood loss, as well as the brandy, weakened your legs. You fell back against your husband. 

“What are you doing?” He fretted.  

“I must get to Treville. We have to find de Winter. She has the letter.” 

“You aren’t going anywhere.” Aramis wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed your temple. “You need to rest.”

You squirmed in his hold, grimacing when you moved your injured arm. “Leisure is not one of my specialties.” 

“I’ll just have to help you practice.” His dark gaze glinted with his smug smile, brow raised. 

“Perhaps you will.” 

D’Artagnan coughed, reminding the two of you that three other men stood in the room. You might have blushed if you hadn’t lost so much blood. 

D’Artagnan winked. “Well, I’m glad to see you’re going to be fine.” 

-

Aramis made a sling for you from his deep blue sash and the five of you headed back to Paris. You rode with Aramis, his arms on either side of you and his eyes shifting at every movement. He tensed at each snapping twig, his arms holding you a little closer. 

“It’s just a bird,” you whispered. “Besides, you needn’t be so worried.” You turned your head over your shoulder so you could kiss his cheek. “Broken wing or not, I’m still a better shot.” 

But if there were any of the ambassador’s allies, you did not encounter them. Nor was there any sign of Milady. By the time you reached Treville, you were sure the cardinal’s letter was little more than ash and memory. 

The captain paced before you as Aramis changed the crimson bandages on your arm. 

“If I had known your contact was Baffier, I would have warned your spouse to expect you.” 

“That certainly would have made you simpler.” 

“Admit it,” you snickered, “it was fun.” 

“I can’t say that’s the word I would use for you almost bleeding to death,” he said. He wasn’t smiling, rather his face held the same concern it had at the farmhouse. 

“Nor I.” Treville gave you a hard stare. “The ambassador is dead and we don’t have any proof of what he was planning. This is going to be a mess to try and explain to the king.” 

“It was the cardinal’s spy that killed him, not I.”

“Unfortunately, we also don’t have any proof that she exists and if someone from the gathering comes forward and recognizes you or the others, it’ll be a hell of a time explaining what you were doing there.” He stopped his movements and turned his head to both of you. “Which is why I’m not assigning you to anything else until this all dies down.” 

You stood up, Aramis following behind you. 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means stay home,” Treville sighed. “You are injured. For God's sake, Y/N, you could have died if Aramis hadn’t been there!” 

“I’m afraid I have to agree with the captain.” Aramis stepped forward. “It’s far too much of a risk for you to be seen.”

Treville changed the subject of his exasperated glare from you to your husband. “And I’m sending you with her.”

Aramis’s face fell so quickly you would have laughed had you not been so frustrated. 

“Captain, I don’t… do you really think that’s… surely you’ll need-” He stammered. 

“You can keep an eye on each other until I can get this awful business figured out and her arm can heal.”

You both opened your mouths to argue, but he held up a hand. 

“That is my final decision.”

“What if you should need our services?” You asked. 

Aramis nodded frantically in agreement. “Yes! Surely Paris will find itself in danger some way or another and you’ll need our skills to stop another villain.” 

“If an emergency arises- and only of the utmost importance-'' Treville pinched the bridge of his nose. “You two will be the first to know. Now I have to try to begin to sort this out.” 

He dismissed you with a wave of his hand. 

You wanted to stay and fight, but between the ache in your arm and your husband’s guiding hand leading you to the door, there wasn’t anything you could do. 

“God knows how long it’ll take for this to quiet down,” you huffed once you were outside. 

“You two don’t look happy,” Porthos said. 

“Let me guess.” Athos crossed his arms. “House arrest?” 

You crossed your arms, grimacing from the jerking movement. 

“Careful, darling.” Aramis winced. 

You ignored him. “We aren’t allowed on any assignments until this whole ridiculous situation is handled.” 

“So, what, you have to go into hiding?” D’Artagnan wondered. “What are you supposed to do until then?”

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll think of something.” Porthos gave you a mischievous smirk, but his teasing did not lighten your mood. 

“He might as well have sent us to live in a cave.”

“Now, dear,” Aramis said, putting an arm around your shoulder “don’t you think you’re being a tad melodramatic?” Your face morphed with fury and your eyes burned into his. He gulped. “I love you?” 

You turned on your heel and stormed away. Aramis looked desperately at his three companions, but none offered any solace. In fact, they all grinned in amusement. 

“God help me,” he muttered, chasing after you as the trio started to laugh. 

-

Two Days and A Country Cottage Later

You swiped the damp cloth over your skin, bringing it further up your arm until fingers gently grabbed your wrist, stopping you from soaking your stitches. 

“Mind my needlework, darling.” Aramis purred into your ear. He took the cloth from your hand and began his own soothing motions over your arm. “Allow me.” 

You laid back against him, the bath water rippling with each movement. With your head leaned on his shoulder, he carefully cleaned the area around your wound. Any ache in your nerves was erased by his lips on your skin- from your shoulder to your neck to that little spot behind your ear. 

“You know,” you sighed contently, “maybe the captain was right to send us out here. I can’t remember the last time we’ve gotten to spend this much time together.” 

“I couldn’t agree more.” His lips followed your jaw as you turned to face him. 

“I just hope the city is still standing by the time we get back,” you giggled. “I’m surprised we haven’t already been summoned.” 

Aramis flicked at the water. “I give Treville and the others three more days before they come begging for our help.” A cocky smirk played on his features. 

“Well,” you stood, water cascading from your skin and glittering in the setting sun streaming through the window. 

Aramis basked in the sight of you. Almost glowing, you looked practically angelic. You stepped out of the bath and ran your fingers through your hair, beckoning him with a hooked finger and a suggestive glimmer in your eyes. 

“We better not waste them then.”

[invierno-inferno]

rating Lovejoy songs based on how aspec they are

(disclamer: a lot (most) of these are a stretch. but nothing is more powerful than an aroace who wants representation.)

Are You Alright?

Taunt: off to a bad start- the only remotely-aspec-if-you-squint line is 'did anybody ever say no to you?' which implies that the singer is rejecting the subject of the song. why? aromanticism or asexuality, maybe. along with the general theme of running away in this song, although that's also a reach. 1.5/10.

One Day: again, not much. the song is about the singer's romantic partner not being good for him, which is a pretty common topic for a song. the idea of wanting to be in a relationship despite it not being good can apply to aspec people, but overall this song doesn't give much. 1/10

Sex Sells: now we're getting somewhere! I see this song as a story that 'call me what you like' and 'it's all futile! it's all pointless!' are also about: an asexual alloromantic and allosexual aromantic trying to make a relationship work. in this song, it's obvious that the singer and the subject want different things from the relationship- the more relevant of this song is that the subject prioritizes sex, which the narrator does not want. pretty aspec! 7/10

Cause for Concern: honestly, this song's got nothing. a banger, but not aspec. 0/10

Pebble Brain

Oh Yeah, You Gonna Cry?: definitely less to go on, but I hear this song as the singer helping his friend to break up with her boyfriend by implying they have the beginning of a relationship. maybe a sort of prequel to the 'sex sells' story. 4/10

Model Buses: the lines 'you're just scared/you're just scared of the future' is often something paraphrased by aphobes, invalidating their orientation by saying things like 'you're afraid of growing up' and 'you're afraid of commitment'. pretty aspec, but it is only a couple of lines that probably weren't intended to be read this way. 3/10

Concrete: not much of anything. 0/10

Perfume: that's what I'm fucking talking about. 'seems like all her friends/abruptly fell in love/and she was in the dust/darling, life was streaming past/so she learned to lie/she learned how to pretend/a drama in the futile/a means to an end'. it's aro! it's aro. to quote the writer of the song, 'you aromantics need to read my lyrics! listen to it's all futile! it's all pointless! and figure out what it's about. and perfume.' super aro, however it's only half a verse. 8/10!

You'll Understand When You're Older: same deal as 'model buses'. a lot of aspec people, particularly teens, are invalidated by being told that they are late bloomers. 3/10

The Fall: love this song, there's nothing aspec though. 0/10

It's All Futile! It's All Pointless!: aro. it's SO aro. see the quote above about perfume and iafiap. also, an entire verse explicitly about not being in love! subject is almost definitely alloaro. and general themes of doing what society tells you, despite you being unhappy with it. 11/10, aro anthem.

Wake Up & It's Over

Portrait of a Blank Slate: not super aspec. however, 'how do you all make it look so easy?/open your hearts up so quickly, it scares me' sounds arospec to me! 4/10

Call Me What You Like: this is the last song of the story that starts with 'sex sells'. some especially aspec lines include 'you could kiss the skin from my lips if it makes you feel good/not sure if you want it, not sure if you need me, too'. the first line implies that the narrator is indifferent towards sex and/or romance, and engages in it only if his partner wants to. in the second line, he wonders if his partner values him in the relationship. 'I'm not made for you/but what else is new?/oh lord, she tells me that it's nothing/I really hope it's nothing' to me references the narrator and the subject experimenting to figure themselves out- 'what else' could be new is romantic feelings. the narrator hopes there aren't any. 6/10

Consequences: One of my favorites, but there's not much here. Maybe 'I wish I tried more/wish I tried more/wish I tried' in reference to a romantic relationship, which some aro people can relate to by thinking that if they had 'tried harder' to be in love, the relationship would have worked. Kind of a stretch, though. 1.5/10

Warsaw: at first glance, there's not much but if we look closer... the subject is unhappy in her current relationship, (a common theme in Lovejoy's songs) and is sleeping with strangers, which is the same situation as 'call me what you like' and by extent iafiap, in which the subject is likely alloaro. 'the place that she got her first kiss is now a vaccination clinic' also supports that the subject of this song is the same as the one in iafiap, cmwyl, and sex sells- same meaning as 'what was your thought when you realized you'd never feel naïve love again?'. (I know I said cmwyl was the last in the story- I feel like this isn't solid enough to definitely be a part of it). my argument's a bit weak. 5/10

Scum: 'no matter how much you think you love him/you'll still flinch when his blood pool touches you.' can't figure out how to explain this one, but you get it. 'maybe he'll be jesus/maybe he'll be jesus this time.' 'jesus' in these lines might mean The One- maybe this person will be the one, maybe this relationship will be the one. I'd group this song in with model buses and you'll understand when you're older, just a couple one-off lines. 3/10

It's Golden Hour Somewhere: 'they'll tell you this is normal/they'll tell you this is love/I'm not sure if the stuff I want is even worth the price it comes'. again, can't describe it, just seems aspec. 2/10