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brokerplushsg · 1 month ago

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Haiyyaaa!! I don't know if someone's asked you this before but what are your thoughts on all the taints / emotions from Block Tales and their domains??

I love your fear interpretation from the blog and I just gotta know what you think about the other three!!

I may also want to just hear what other people think about the taints in general because I'm so very (not) normal about them right now. Oops! :3c

- @afeatherypileofjunk

Ight yipppeee and tysm for enjoying my rp blog :3 (I plan on starting a 2nd one soon hehehehhe)

Tbh in general I love all of them for like different aspects

And welp, if u wanna know more, RANT BELOW YIPPEEEE

Idk how to sort this out but ig Ill yap about Greed first because ngl I love him and also screw it some head canons too

So first of all Im stealing that one artist's hc that they have some form of vitiligo, so there are like slightly lighter yellow patches all over their body, also making them kinda piebald I like my cheese mouldy bruh!!! Anyways, speaking about piebald, I kind of want to based them of the pied piper, leprechauns and some others, ngl for this section I am still looking for inspo, mostly mythological beings or something hehehwhwgsjdgdhsn

Also as you expected ya he's def a flamboyant and arrogant extroverted spoiled brat of a rich kid and will defintely cry and scream like a spoiled brat if they dont het what they want. Because of his nature in general they have no friends in general and they definitely not tryna fill that lonely hole in their heart with their greed and taking stuff and whatnot hehehehehehe

It's a somewhat vicious cycle, but dw, as hopeless as bro is, salvation is not impossible

Anyways onto Solitude, honestly I see them as very insightful despite being asleep since the begining or whatever, low intelligence, but high wisdom. Very elusive and mythical, as they are based on Kelpies, Sirens, Water nymphs and maybe even babayaga and much more. Also I think they would have like a nautical motivf because water, ocean, ya. And therefore they definitely have a good sense of direction, and knows how to infer from nature to know the directions like measuring the stars. Speaking about such things, Solitude would definitely know spiritual stuff, like knowing how to read horoscopes, knowing how to use tarot cards. And because of said insight, they can accurately tell a person's personality as well as even their backstory from a single glance.

Although Solitude doesn't care that much about materialistic things, they secretly really love shiny stuff, especially crystals, they are obsessed with crystals. They have a secret collection hidden deep within their waters that they especially don't want a particular SOMEONE to raid and steal everything. Speaking about that, they are the kind who would yell back at a screaming child to get them to shut up. Said screaming child is Greed. Yeah the 2 have beef, and Solitude always verbally insults them in very, interesting ways. (Also should mention not the type to swear except in russian or any other slavic language) also even tho Solitude bullies them 99% of the time, there is indeed a 1% where they can be nice, because they do feel just a pinch of sympathy for Greed.

Anyways, they also feel like its their responsibility to take care of him sometimes so that they don't do something stupid as much as their introverted ahh hates going out

Also, as much as Solitude hates it, they do have some connections with Greed, as much as they have connections with Fear, physically and in some other ways idk how to describe

Okay for fear I kinda yapped it all about in their parody blog but Ill elaborate more on some things like their relationship with Solitude, where again they learned to somewhat be "braver" and to accept themselves more or something idk shdgjdbend. Although, Fear is indeed more inclined to having high intelligence rather than wisdom. Also yeah Fear is more ambiverted because aside from being slightly scared of people, they do crave a little interaction because they definitely do have a little FOMO.

Also because why not ill yap a lil about Hatred as well. Ain't gonna reveal much because spoilers to rp events planned ahead but HOHOHO, y'all better hate it, because they ain't gonna be "mean little cat boys" like the rest on this site, they are an actual asshole and I am confirming they are definitely soon enough going to hurt somebody in the rp and I will not confirm or deny if somebody in the rp is dying as well.

We will have to see ;3

Although, I will say, Hatred is simply a pawn for a bigger entity, that Imma be real, I am not sure will show up because I don't have plans yet, however, just know that Hatred will be the main antagonist for a long, dang time.

Anyways I should say like how the 3 are connected to each other so uh, idk if anything below this would make sense or not 😭

Greed is like humanity, Fear is like nature, Soitude is the inbetween

Fear represents spirituality, Greed represents materialism, Solitude is the connection between the physical and the unseen

Fear is like the past, something primal with the appreciation of life, Solitude embraces what is modern yet respects the roots of the wild, Greed is like the present, something so modern with ignorance for life since its so easy to live now with everything that we have

Greed is a sin, Solitude is a state, fear is an emotion.

With Fear as an emotion, it has the grip and control in most minds, not only that of humans, but of animals and nature too, everyone's afraid of something and I mean bro started to exist alongside the first vertabre. Everything wants to live, and disregarding fear is to accept death.

However, Fear is also the least bound to their nature because emotions can be more of a spectrum instead of a set thing, and plus many times fear can be felt but bravery can still be there, it ain't usually holding back a lot. (thus why they ain't like a scardey cat 100% of the time)

Solitude as a state has the grip on quite a lot, but not as much as fear, as well some people are naturally introverts, so may seek out less social interactions and some animals are purely solitary and not social. You can enjoy or hate being solitary, it's neutral after all.

However, Solitude does have more of a grip on certain people, especially humans because despite being a social species, and individuals wanting to be with others, they may be rejected from the rest due to certain issues like different appearances, preferences, etc. Because its such a subjective thing, Solitude is also not entirely bound to their nature, still close to it tho.

Greed is called a sin for a reason. Although some animals can be considered "Greedy" like pigs and squirrels, it's not entirely fair to compare them with Greed, as they do not know any better, and are just following their instincts programed into them for survival. Greed is a very, human thing.

And yes, like every other of the embodiments, it can be found in everyone, it's only a fraction of the population that it dominantly rules over *side eyes almost every company head ever especially roblox* and unlike the other 2, being neutral good or true neutral, Greed, is straight up bad. Getting all you want and not giving it to those who need it more. It can be ignorance, it can be intentional. Still horrible though.

Because of being such a defined nature that is such deeply rooted into humanity, of course it's hard for Greed to be apart from their nature, which is really unfortunate, because owning materialistic things aren't all there is to life, and Greed definitely yearns more than just those materialistic items, but such things that he yearns cannot be received unless he gives up those materialistic things. It's this or that, no both, but he wants everything, and therefore they will never be satisfied. Tragic, isent it?

However, once again there is a silver lining. Even though they so tightly entwined with their concept, their sentience shows that there's more to him aside from that and change is possible. Will be slow, will definitely be hard, but with determination, they can break out of their own nature. Might be death for themselves, but it's the only way for freedom.

Ngl writing all this makes me feel like a madwoman with a tinfoil hat trying to spread some kind of conspiracy or something shejhdjehd

Idk if y'all would even get anything especially the second half of this yap session but DO YALL SEE THE VISION???

I AM NOT DELULU RIGHT YALL CAN UNDERSTAND MY THOUGHT PROCESS RIGHT???

RIGHT????

Anyways I hope u enjoy this hehehehe I think I spent like an hour or 2 thinking and writing this breh

Also

ALL THIS IS DEF SUBJECTED TO CHANGE SINCE ITS DEFINITELY NOT ENTIRELY SOLID AND LIKE I JUST THOUGHT OF MOST OF THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT

(Although some have been simmering in my brain for a long while)

#blog #yap #rant #head canons #block tales #block tales greed #block tales solitude #block tales fear #block tales hatred

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mazzystar24 · 7 months ago

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hi its birthmark anon! weird lore from me i guess i dont mean to trauma dump because my dad is fine lmfao but i HATED that scene because of the “your dad is still alive” line. my dad had heart issues when i was a kid to the point he needed open heart surgery and i remember so clearly my aunt saying something similar to my mom in front of us when he was hospitalized. my mom said she couldnt make thanksgiving dinner because my dad was in the hospital and she had to take care of me and my 3 siblings who were all pretty young kids (i was 11 i think and my younger brother was 9. i remember thinking my dad was gonna die) and my aunt was like “at least you have a family”. we didnt see her for like 5 years after that lmfao

also the “you guys need your own hospital wing” line also frustrated me because i had my own health problems as a kid (im alright now) and people ALWAYS made those sorts of comments to me. i didnt even register the daddy shit until later and that only made the scene worse because while it felt like buck was trying to lighten the mood and make it something they have in common but tommy dismissed it AGAIN. like its not even about sexual jokes to me its about him being an asshole in every scene he’s in 😭

anyway thanks for the birthmark clownery i doubt kim will return but we had fun 🫶 this whole discourse is dumb because the scene just sucked. if they wanted me to believe tommy gave a single fuck they shouldve had him come to the hospital abd they should also address the role he played in the gerrard shit for hen and chimney because they HAVENT and it drives me NUTS

anyway love you bye

Hi birthmark anon!!

Dw Im always down for a good trauma dump like one of my friends and I legit never spoke to eachother before despite being in the same class for a year but only became friends because a cancelled class led to us trauma dumping to eachother for our first proper conversation for like 2 hrs

Omg can’t believe your aunt said that that’s actually so iffy, but yess exactly the “your dad is still alive” line was just so so bad and I hated it sm like idk if you saw my replies on my other post or not cos I put it in much more in depth way there but like I too am a traumatised girlie and if someone said that shit about my bio dad I would literally lose it cos it’s one of those things that get said so much to traumatised people and it’s honestly a big no from me

Like sure SOME traumatised people MAY regret not fixing it but also it might not be fixable and you don’t know the situation and also maybe they won’t either way that’s their prerogative

and sometimes what’s right for them at the time isn’t what’s right for them long term and all these things are fine

Like me personally if my dad dropped dead right now I would genuinely celebrate and feel not a single ounce of regret and that’s fine and id deck anyone who said it’s not

Like if Tommy has his own trauma and feelings about his dad and their relationship then that’s fine but this sort of imposed rhetoric on another traumatised person is just a no from me

The hospital wing line is another thing that I didn’t see mentioned but bucks face DID flip but that’s a whole other debate yeah

See that’s the thing like I know I have Tommy loving followers but I personally dislike him cos they haven’t gave him (imo) substance or like enough other than sardonic comments and shit

Rip our fun with the Kim and buck parallels you’ll always be famous🫡

But yeah like even if people liked Tommy and bucktommy I feel like they can blame the writing or execution or context but like overall not liking that scene it’s not just about hating Tommy or bucktommy imo

YES THEY COULDVE PLAYED IT SO DIFFERENTLY IF THEY WANTED TO DEVELOP TOMMY AND BUCKTOMMY AND IT DEEPLY CONFUSES ME WHY THEY HAVENT IF THEYRE CARRYING IT INTO S8

Anyways also love ya byee🫶🫶🫶🫶

#911 #evan buckley #911 abc #911 fox #911onfox #evan buck buckley #anti bucktommy #anti tommy kinard #fandom discourse #911 discourse

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mad-c1oud · 7 months ago

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Eating your essays like ten course meals frfr :D

I really want to know the bone things now though 0-0 share the worldbuilding (only if you want to ofc!!) And also, with saltwater vs freshwater slimes, because of the biology difference, would they sort of have it in a we don't like each other/refuse to interact with each other because of it? Or do they just kinda not really run into each other?

Also love the idea of subtypes though!! Diversity among non-human somewhat-humanoid species <3

With the subtypes, would that affect their way of speaking at all? Like accent wise? Or would they pick up whatever they heard most while developing?

If you can't tell, I have. A lot of questions. LMAO

I just love world building and small pieces of it :> hope you don't mind though ._.

I LOVE QUESTIONS!!!!!!!

i am going to get carpal tunnel and i think i shall blame all of you and not myself :)

more ranting under the cut o777

for salt and fresh, they don't hate each other at all! they don't get a chance to really interact often so they are just unfamiliar with each other, however they are all still slimes so they get along just fine when they can (usually at estuaries or other areas where fresh merges into salt). other than that they just never really see the other.

AND AHHHHH YEAH!!!! ACCENTS!!! i didn't even think about that, i was more focused on how the color of their slime might be different based on sub group and their diet/climate/environment but oh my god yeah, there is so very much an accent that only other slimes might notice ily anon thank you. I think some does come from "family", but there's always a chance for it to chnage when you move, just like real life. Like another slime could tell charlie was a cave slime at some point maybe by how he talks or acts

and the bones..... ough the bones............

I have thoughts on the bones. the most significant one is how important a skeletion is to slime hybrids. Slime mobs don't care for that sort of thing, but since hyrbids are just that, a combination of slime and (in my head) human- hybrids like bones. It's the biggest think that sets them apart from their mob counter part.

Salt slimes build their skeletons from drowned, sea life, and literal drownings, giving them slightly abnormal appearances compared to fresh that only pull from skeletons and strays and humans. when desperate, they will make do with what they have and go without bones or fashion something out of what they do have. I hc as charlie having a pretty fucked skeleton during eggxile

also i have. a wip based on the idea of étoiles giving charlie bones to help his bro out and it spirals into the accidental courting ritual cause bones are really important to hybrids. I WANT TO SAY SO MUCB MOOOREEEEEE but im trying to hold back for this wip where i explore it more. ugh

i will say that the idea of giving and sharing bones is also a familial and friendly thing too. There's different meanings and different intentions. I like to think of big slime families having hand-me-down sets of bones as slime hybrids age and grow until they are able to get their own complete skeleton, almost like a rite of passage before they leave if they decide to. they keep a bone from their family and either keep it in their skeleton or on their person. Same goes for offers from friends and more...

charlie was not afforded the same... generosity and kindness as other slimes in other families and he had to build his skeleton by force. I am going to leave that there lest i say too much :) dw you'll learn more soon

i have thoughts and feelins and ideas and things i just *head in fucking hands*

feel free to ask more questions i love talking :3333 you guys are so nice too <333

#SLIME AND MORE #LETS GOOOOOOO #mad box #qsmp slimecicle #slimecicle

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stranger-rants · 2 years ago

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You are right about people sabotaging their own characters and ships. I honestly don't understand ship wars, to me is just a bunch of people bullying each other online over what they like/dislike and that is idiotic because we commonly use these spaces to have fun and find people who like the same things we do and maybe become friends with those people. I don't get why people love ruining other people's fun to the point they make others so angry to start fighting back or leave the fandom entirely. When it comes to Steve Harrington, my favorite character, I love almost all ships people have for him: Harringrove (my favorite ship), Stancy (yeah, I'm okay, dw about me), Stonathan (which now holds a dear place in my heart) , Stommy... And I'm capable of understanding the "illegal" ones such as Steve and Max (when they are both in their 20's and it is mostly AU) and Stobin (AU's) and many more. I have tried liking Steddie, I really have and I really want to meet the cool people you say are fed-up of the bullying extreme Steddie and Eddie fans cause... But god it is difficult to like something that has caused too much harm and it sucks these people cannot see what they are doing. Lmao, I feel like that girl from the Mean Girls movie who want to bake cookies and cakes and have peace all around haha

I understand ship wars to an extent. I just don’t love the dishonesty of it nowadays. When I was a teenager, ship wars were primarily a war over preferences that was usually hyped up by the creators of a series to increase interest and revenue. We knew this. While people took it seriously, there was always this underlying understanding that this is all just a part of fandom. This isn’t to say people didn’t take it too far or that there was no bullying involved. This isn’t a “those were the good old days” response. It was just more honest about its absurdity.

Now, you have people writing shipping meta as to why one ship is not only morally superior to another but trying to convince people that shipping is a form of activism. I am not talking about ships that are controversial because they inherently contain disturbing elements. It could be as simple as two relatively “normal” ships being pit against each other with one side arguing that a singular moment of conflict between characters in one ship deems the whole thing too toxic and unhealthy for audiences to support them.

*cough**cough*The Steddie vs. Harringrove ship war that boils down to differences in respectability*cough**cough*

Just be honest is all I ask. Like, you shouldn’t be out here inventing reasons why supporting one ship over another is a matter of social justice. It’s not. You preference something very strongly. You hate the competition. You whine about it. You find shallow reasons to hate the competition. You put up the get off my lawn signs. Then you think for some reason that you need a deeper reason to justify your hate so you Google queer theory and use all the Right Words to convince people shippers of x, y, or z are destroying the fabric of society.

(Not you personally, anon. This is the proverbial “you.”)

LMAO okay. Please be serious…

#asks

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variousqueerthings · 1 year ago

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fear makes companions of us all

I was letting a friend know about my little watch and ratings thing, and by chance he's a few episodes ahead and he described the opening of this era as joyless. and yeah, it's. it's a bit. I'm slogging, I really am (luckily next episode is Time Heist!!!)

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 4/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 4/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 3/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 4/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 4/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 5/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 3/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 7/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 5/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 6/10

FULL RATING: 46/100 (if I can count….)

oh this is such a weird one. a mystery that isn't a mystery, a recontextualisation that makes earlier lore worse, a messy forwards and backwards that's sort of centred around a date between Clara and Danny Pink, but doesn't manage to centre it, an insight into the Doctor that tells us nothing new...

OBJECTIFICATION: so Clara is on a date, which means that the Doctor for some reason is constantly commenting on her appearance. AAAallll the time. it's not technically the most egregious example of this on the show, but the fact that it's coming from the Doctor and it's directed at his companion, it's just got a low-level patriarchal discomfort the entire time

PLOT-POINT: Clara is on a date and she made a joke that made Danny uncomfortable (which, Danny being a soldier isn't the main point I'll make about this episode, because I don't remember where it goes at the moment), and then they go back in time and meet kid!Danny who's an orphan, and future descendant of Danny who's at the end of the Universe, and then way way back to the Doctor's personal timestream to meet kid!Doctor, whom she comforts

you get the point here? the point is that this is not about Clara, even though it's Clara's date that this thing all attempts to twirl around

I'd say the one thing is that she knows a bit more about Danny now

COMPLEXITY: oohohohooo for a plot that's not really a plot, it's all over the damn place. there's the date, there's two different pasts, the end of the universe, and it's all to find something that doesn't exist. and on some level the Doctor driving themself up the wall with nothing to do isn't bad, but it's just a pointlessly involved plot to get to a particular point that I'm not convinced is a point at all

it's really all about the callbacks, which we will get to...

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: the Doctor's meanness is ramping up. will Clara eventually start calling that out? the Doctor fully yells at her in this one, and it's disconcerting -- I don't know that it was the right choice, even though we're going by an edgier Doctor this time around

there's a careful balance of the Doctor being compelling to watch, which is heavily influenced by their treatment of their companion. if the Doctor is dismissive, cruel, hypocritical towards their companion I need a damned good reason, beyond "this time around my feelings are just a flipping mess"

Danny is an orphan who grew up afraid of the dark (and with something on his bed?) and met Clara as a kid briefly

oh the Doctor was raised in a barn, literally... no, we'll get to some of this in a point further down... and the Doctor was bad at being good at soldiering and was a softy I guess? no, I'll take that, Beta Shrigma was an emotional sad mess of a child, of course

COMPANIONS MATTER: Clara's just running around after the Doctor in this one, buuuut she's there to provide emotional support to both a young Danny and a young Doctor

in fact, it's highly suggested that Clara not only inspired the sonic screwdriver, but also inserted the idea of the Doctor not pressing the big button during the timewar, through the power of being in the right place at the right time I guess

we will get more into that!

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor isn't technically godlike in this one, but it is in the end all about the Doctor, specifically the Doctor as someone who has a brain that's very loud (which we know) who doesn't let things go (which we know) and wasn't a natural fit for the academy (which... ok we only know that for sure if we watched classic who or read the novels or heard some audio, but it's definitely inferred in nu!who as well)

in a way it feels like it's about calming the Doctor down, which could be an interesting episode in the sense of "the Doctor as neurodivergent and mental health issues coded" but instead isn't interested in those things, beyond forgiving every temper tantrum the character has, because the Doctor is deeper than other characters and was sad as a child

there's... a nugget in this. it is not enough for it to be a good plot

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: oh hey, remember how Clara inspired the Tardis and nobody liked that plotpoint? she also inspired the screwdriver, affirmed the Doctor's idk... latent pacifist ideals, and planted the idea not to end the Time War in a bad way

and if that wasn't enough, she also first said a line that's kind of iconic from the very very first serial "fear makes companions of us all."

it's fascinating in the way M*ffat both doesn't seem interested in Clara much beyond what she can do for the Doctor, but then also needs to make her the originator of any and all of the most important parts of DW lore... or maybe... it's just that his imprint needs to be all over original DW lore. conspiracy theory with no stakes unlocked

no but seriously, M*ffat's versions of Classic!Who lore only cheapen the original narratives, and I wish he'd stop. ironically he also fucks with his own lore by not making the undoing of the Time Lord genocide a choice that the Doctor makes based on their own journey, but also something randomly implanted way back as a kid

it's similar to the way he would bring back the Angels over and over again, and to the way I know he's about to bring the core principle of Silence of the Library back again and again, and the "little kid who met someone they will want to make out with as an adult" plotline -- here gender subversed because it's a young Danny meeting Clara as a kid (does he not remember that?) or super special sexy scary woman who's a series of mysteries, rather than a character

my guy has his core Things and he beats at them until there's no blood left, it's truly a fascinating thing to watch someone fucking with their own lore

I confess I did read a bit of others' opinions on the wikipedia after writing above and truly wish to know what they saw that I didn't. "an interrogation of the Doctor's character"? huh?

also this episode was nominated for a Bram Stoker award, and that's also shocking to me. it's not... scary? or even that compelling as scifi. the idea of mystery at the end is a non-idea, even considering there presumably was a creature around and about, and that the Doctor figured out what it was (we don't, because fuck us)

the more I think about this episode, the less I like it

“SEXINESS”: nothing beyond the weirdness of how Clara is classified via her looks. why would the Doctor care? why would the Doctor -- if written as someone who doesn't care -- be mean about it? it's not technically "sexiness" but it feels in the same vibe of things, as it's about the jokes of sexiness

INTERNAL WORLD: I mean, it's... Clara's still a teacher on a date. the Tardis is there. Danny has a little more depth. apparently the Doctor slept in that barn he would eventually Not Destroy Gallifrey from

it's just kind of bland. Oh, Danny's descendant somehow travelled to the end of the Universe I guess. I'll allow that scifi stuff got them into the barn, since the Doctor was unconscious, but it doesn't tell us anything of interest

the world is backdrop, but not fleshed out backdrop

POLITICS: apart from the rampant body-shaming of Clara, this episode doesn't have much to say on soldiering, surprisingly, considering it

a. starts on that ill-fated date with A Joke About Killing Someone which goes awry (because it's kind of a fucked up thing to say to someone you're into)

b. has a continuous thread of little soldier figurines, of which one of them noticeably doesn't seem to have a weapon and is preferred

c. that figurine is given to the Doctor, who is a kid that is considered ill-suited to go to the academy to "learn to be a soldier" (which, I have questions about lore within that, as far as I'm aware there's more to the academy than that, but I'm not sure enough to make that A Point)

there is this one rant Danny goes on about how they "dug wells" and it wasn't all shooting people, but this is something I might talk more about in future, because, well... I mean I'm against the military institution, and considering Danny was an orphan there could be narrative about how those institutions target vulnerable teens, and as a Black man who's possibly navigating ideas of how people perceive him and what it means for white kids to ask if he's ever killed a person... who am I kidding, this won't matter will it?

however, I know there's more coming up, so I won't dwell too heavily on it, but it is a missed opportunity to ground this story thematically, to connect Danny and the Doctor, since there is no grounding

it is a groundless helium balloon of an episode

#im watching nu!who #im watching capaldi who #episode listen #the measurement

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lockawayknight · 2 years ago

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why were you drawn to each one of your characters?

from asks for multimuses [accepting!!]

oh this is a fun one,,,,, let’s see,,

creighton: i immediately identified with this idiot when i first played ds2, just his dedication and obsession and loving devotion that borders on psychosis and the fact he is a huge fucking extrovert despite it all… his design, his voice, his mannerisms, his disposition, his heart, his mind, his EVERYTHING,,, i was so drawn to him immediately and never looked back. adores my mans

magerold: another char i identified with pretty quickly, he’s such a dork but so insular despite it. his humour and positivity and goofiness and just all that fun stuff. my partner always jokes that i’m kinning my muses and maggie tends to be the one i do most. he is just fun and silly and i adoreee him. goofball

ornifex: orn started out as a muse i wrote as a side-char who i then got super fucking attached to and wrote more and more often until she stuck. she is just such a great girl with such a great, honest personality, and her dialogue is SO fun to write. best girl

navlaan: THIS motherfucker… he started off bc i can certainly identify with the metaphor in his narrative of having a sort of separate entity within yourself you know and can acknowledge and want gone bc of what it does and knowing it’s a part of you yet also not anD I MEAN U GET THE IDEA. i’m schizy as hell so i saw him and was just kermit nodding gif. poor vessel,,, i need to write him more i mostly write the entity lmao

rat king, titchy gren, and chloanne: putting all the tertiary muses together cus the story is the same: i wrote them as side-chars in threads long enough they kinda took over and became muses themselves. they’re a wacky bunch with different reasons i was drawn to them but it all boils down to: their strong personalities. the king’s pride and intelligence, gren’s snarky sassiness, and chloe’s passive nonchalance… adore them all

mohg: WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS MENACE,,,, his design is what immediately drew me towards him, but it got out of hand when i learned about his lore. his childhood, his upbringing, the fact he turned outer-hate into self-love, his LOVE and devotion that crosses the border into insanity, his everything is just so GOOD and i can’t help but feel for him a lot more than i probably should lmao. he is a very special muse and i am so glad i picked him up despite the ickiness surrounding his lore by some of the community. i may have him kinda-sorta on hiatus but he is,, very special

alberich: deadass i only found out about this guy like two weeks ago DJFJDJKS but i was drawn to him IMMEDIATELY bc of his lore and the personality that i instantly gathered of him from his encounter in the roundtable. MANIAC!!! but a fancy one!! i love clown coded assholes he is so good and has been a blast to write. no regrets.

laurence: the last but not least… i always had a bunch of Thoughts about laurence but never really thought i would put them on paper tbh,,, until a friend made a bloodborne server and needed someone to write him. i got attached to the idea really fast and then my love for him i’d been holding back just Exploded out of me and now he is a full-blown primary muse. i have projected a lot onto him ngl but it is Good it’s okay dw djfndj he is a bastard… no laurence apologists allowed in my house but i’m so glad i picked him up cus his backhanded and secretive, sly politeness and manipulativeness is SO fun to muse. adore him.

so yeah i think that’s everyone i muse on tumblr!! gosh that’s a lot djfjdks but ty ty for q!!💕

#answers #austerulous #MY BABES

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serena-hart-09 · 3 years ago

Text

"Remember Me"

A/N: Soooooooo yeah...... I AM BACK!!!!!✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ (Also, kinda not.... due to my admission process and stuff....... *concerned for future*)

Also, I going to focus on my Fics for a while like a finally making the OCs that I will be putting them into Verklig (other than Meera) Also, I will be keeping the Replaced MC Au on hold for sometime due to personal reasons also because I feel that without Verklig I don't think the plot that happens in the later chapters in the Replaced Au fic, will make sense. Since there are many characters that may end up appearing in the same.

Also, you can check out the Book of Memories for more "side information" that may help you understand some plot points. (Dw it's just extra information)

Any suggestions are always welcome!

Anyways, Happy reading!

As always, Have a great day ahead!

TW: Dreams ; Nightmares ; Death of Major Character ; Murder ; Betrayal. (If I have anything please tell me!)

Extra: Characters from other Fics ; Mention of "Books"

Pairing: Lucifer X Meera (F!OC)

Prologue

“Really now? You think that would scare me?”

“I love you.”

“So adorable.”

“Don’t think that I did not notice that, human.”

“You are my only one.”

“Do you think you can escape from me, puny human?”

“For me to have such a long life, but for you to turn into dust after just mere years….. it is unfair…….”

“You are the only one.”

“I would bring the universe to your feet, for you to stay with me.”

“Please no…… Not you…….”

*crack*

“Please anyone but you…..!”

*crack*

“Don’t leave me!”

*crack*

“I know that I am being selfish……”

*crack*

“But please…… please meet me again……..”

*crack*

“To be honest I don’t know for who am I fighting for anymore……..”

*splatter* *crack*

“I lost them all…….. Meera….”

*crack*

“Please don’t go….”

“Kidnap me away from here, Meera…..”

…….

…..

…

…….!

“Don’t worry-”

*squeak*

*break*

*craaaaaaack*

“I will always love you even in a different reality.”

*Break*

“Please”

…..

“Love me again, Meera.”

In the dead silence of the night, Lucifer wakes up in a panic.

He looks around his room for a moment and stays silent looking through the darkness to find an answer to the question in his mind.

This dream again?

He was getting annoyed, to be honest.

He has been dreaming the same thing since………. Belphie was set free…..

There are many things that he doesn’t understand.

Firstly, from the voice itself, he knows that it’s Lucifer himself in the dream saying all of these things.

Secondly, why are there sounds of glass breaking and blood splattering?

Thirdly, why is he professing his love for the human girl in the dream? It’s true that the demon of pride actually does love Meera…… but….

…..

Whatever, these are….. just dreams. Nothing else. They have no meaning.

Or that’s what Lucifer would like to think.

**************

“Lucifer!!!!”

‘Oh no.’ the prideful demon thinks as he turns around to be met with the demon prince grinning from ear to ear.

“Diavolo. Good afternoon.”

“Good Afternoon to you too, my friend! Anyways, come with me I want to talk about something.”

“Oh? What would that-” before Lucifer could even finish his question, he was dragged to the Mausoleum at the speed of light.

“Alright! Here we are!”

“……”

“………”

“My lord?”

“Hm?”

“You wanted to talk?”

“Ah yes! Silly me! The truth is…” the young prince pauses for a bit, to sit down on a small bench, “I went to meet with Prorok the other day……”

“The Prophet?”

Diavolo lets out a sound of affirmation.

Lucifer had known of Prorok since the old and now resting Demon King had taken the throne. Prorok helped him to overthrow the then Demon King, with the help of his prophecies. Prorok lived far away from the urban part of the Devildom, he lived in a cave on a mountain. It had quite a nice view.

In fact, at some point, Lucifer himself had a chance to meet him. Unlike the ball of excitement that the prince was Prorok was more mature and polite. Weirdly, Prorok had a small smile while meeting the prideful demon. Lucifer found it unsettling….. as if the prophet knew something…….

….

Lucifer shakes his head lightly and looks at the demon in front of him.

“Well? Did he give you any prophecies?”

“He didn’t…… or rather he couldn’t.”

“What?”

“He was found dead this morning.”

“I- how- Why?”

“I told my men to check more into it.”

“…..”

“In their investigation, they stumbled upon….. a lot of things.”

“Hm…?”

Diavolo slowly gets up from his seat and looks at Lucifer with a small smile.

“I want to apologize to you for this.”

“Diavolo……?”

“But….. I feel that you will understand right? I am the prince, I need to survive as one. I need to do this…..”

A shiver ran down Lucifer’s spine. Something is not right. His guts are screaming at him to run, run away from this demon….. now. To go back to HOL and run away from here with his brothers and Meera.

Many a time, our intuition may be right. So, we should believe it right?

And so, he did as well.

Before Lucifer could turn around and run, he feels his body pierced by Diavolo’s sword.

“Wh……..Why……?”

“I am sorry…… No, I……. I need to do this, Lucifer……… or else……… you or…..”

Lucifer can’t hear his words as he feels his consciousness slip away.

Did….

Did he die?

…..No…..

He can’t…..

Not right now….

He can’t…… he still has his brothers to look after!

He still has……. So much to do!

?????????????????????????????????????????????????

????????????????????????????????????????????

?????????????????????????????????????

????????????????????????????

?????????????????????

???????????????

???????????

????????

??????

?????

???

‘Well, if it isn’t my “Failure”!’

The demon’s eyes shoot open at the sound of….. ‘someone’s’ voice.

“What….. Who are you? And what the hell do you mean by “Failure”? And more importantly, where the hell am I?” he looks around in the darkness to navigate a way out there….. to no avail.

‘Well, you can count yourself as lucky that you came here after dying.’

Lucifer's eyes widen at that, “Dying?! I am dead?!”

‘Yes. Yes, you are.’ He ignores Lucifer’s confused and worried voices and continues, ‘Anyways, to answer your question, you are in the Hall of “Books”. Each book in this hall leads to sometimes yours or another Universe. You just need to “activate” these “books” and voila! You have finally entered into a different world!” Most of these haven’t “activated” in centuries with some exceptions…….’

“What does that have to do with anything?! I need to…… no I have to go back!”

‘Tch. Whatever, I am just trying to help your pathetic self, for your world, the universe, whatever, is known as “Verklig”. And, like others, it is also a “book”……. Technically….. it does function as one at least.’ The unknown figure sighs before continuing, ‘the place where you are now standing on, is where, all the “Mc”s would come, rather were pulled from their Universes and were to talk to their “Guardians”. They are meant to keep an eye on Diavolo and Michael in each universe. “Mc” is basically their “eye”. Anyways, you said you wanted to go back, right?’

“And what do you think was I screaming about the past couple of minutes?”

‘Well…. You can’t…… since you, Lucifer, have died and because you are not an “Mc” or “MC”. So, you can’t return.’

“?!”

‘But,’ the unknown figures pause, ‘You can return. Only if I become your “Guardian” and you, my “eye”……..’

“…….. There is a hidden agenda here…… Tell me what exactly are you planning?”

‘Ah, hahahahhaahha- As expected of my “Failure”! Well, you are correct!’

“……”

‘I just want to possess your body for a moment or two in between. That is all.’

“…… Why may I ask?”

‘…….There are…….. many regrets that I carry, that I can…… well….remove if I can re-enter into the universe…..’

“And you can’t do it yourself?”

‘No, I am no longer a “character” in the universe. I have…….since then…. I have become a being that can’t be “recorded” anymore…….. thus, I can only manipulate some events in the “books” under “special” conditions but I can’t enter in there anymore…… I can only use an “eye” to enter.’

“And that’s where I come?”

‘Yes…… There you have it. Are you now willing to accept our alliance now?’ even if the demon can’t see it he can still imagine a small smile appearing on the figure’s face.

“…..Yes but you can only possess my body at my permission alone........There are still many questions I want to ask…..”

‘I can teach you everything I know…… only if you accept our alliance now.’ The figure’s voice grows impatient and the demon could somehow feel the figure’s piercing stare.

“……Fine.”

‘Finally.’

More glass-shattering sounds are heard.

“But I think that I have a right to know your name, yes?”

‘Oh…….’

Suddenly the ground shatters as glass and Lucifer falls. After a moment a blue light appears and he feels himself fall into it. He suddenly hears the figure's voice again-

‘You may call me……’

A malicious smile in red appears next to him.

‘M.L.’

End Notes: I hope you like this chapter!😊

Please Do Not Repost without Permission! (Reblogs are welcome!)

All the characters mentioned above belong to Shall We Date?: Obey Me!, NTT Solmare

#Verklig #shall we date: obey me #shall we date obey me #obey me! shall we date?#obey me x reader #lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me oc #obey me mc #M.L.#Remember Me

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machine-gun-casie · 5 years ago

Text

Co-Stars

request: Hey cutie! I love your writing and i was wondering if you could write a Pete imagine where he and the reader are in a movie together where they play a couple and he falls in love with her. Pretty please! ♡♡

wc: 2.6k

a/n: i made her the love interest for the king of staten island cuz i just watched the movie and its so good!! but dw no spoilers

You walked onto set with your iced coffee in hand and your earbuds blasting music in your ears. The set for this movie was probably the most fun and relaxing set you’ve ever been on. Except when Marisa Tomei or Steve Buscemi was there. It was only intimidating to you because of how new you were to the acting scene and how iconic they were.

But you had almost no scenes with them, all of your scenes were with Pete for the most part. Technically, you didn’t even need to come on set today. You just couldn’t stop yourself.

“Hey!” Maude called out to you when she saw you, motioning for you to come over. “Didn’t think you were needed on set today.”

“Oh, I’m not.” You replied and shrugged. “But I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Really?” Maude raised her eyebrows at you. “You’re staying in New York City and you took the free ferry ride to Staten Island? Because you had nothing to do. In New York fucking City?!”

You furrowed your eyes and looked up in thought. “Well, when you phrase it like that…”

“y/n, it’s gonna sound weird no matter how I phrase it.” Maude chuckled.

You shoved her shoulder lightly and laughed with her as you explained. “I have no friends here, I have no one to hangout with.”

“Mhm, okay.” Maude teased you. “So we’re gonna pretend this isn’t about you-”

“Shut the fuck up Maude.” You hissed. “Shut up or I’ll tell your dad.”

“Tell her dad what?” Judd asked from behind you. You jumped slightly as you turned to face him as Maude snickered next to you. “Why’re you on set, y/n? We don’t need you today.”

“Because y/n has a crush on Pete.” Maude sang like she was teasing you on the school playground.

“Maude!” You snapped at her. “He could hear!”

Judd laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry, he’s filming.”

“In the firehouse?” You asked and your eyes lit up when Judd nodded. “Thanks Judd!” You yelled as you ran off to the front doors of the firehouse.

“They really think they’re hiding it?” He asked his daughter.

“I think so.” She nodded, joining her dad in watching you run up the stairs. “If they’re not together by the time we wrap, I might strangle one of them.”

“Not if I do it first.”

You smiled and waved at the firefighters in the station today. Because the firehouse that was being used was still a functional one, the actors and the firefighters all became pretty well acquainted. You skipped over to the back room where you could hear them filming.

Bill and Pete were sitting at the table in front of the camera. You stood over by the sound guys and just watched them play out the scene.

“What take is this?” You whispered to the closest person to you.

“Fourth.” They replied. “I think we got it, though. Fingers crossed we take fifteen after this.”

You nodded and leaned back to enjoy the show. Your favorite scenes to watch were when Pete and Bill were bickering. It was so clear that they both enjoyed it because they could improvise some jabs at each other. You noticed that Pete absolutely adored including the handlebar moustache during these scenes.

“Cut!” Someone called out. “Everyone take lunch!”

Pete looked around and made eye contact with you when the camera cut, smiling when he saw you. He turned to Bill and said a few parting words before coming up to you.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” He asked, leaning his shoulder against the wall to face you. “You don’t have any scenes today.”

“I don’t.” You nodded. “Came to see you.”

“You just can’t get enough of me, can you?” Pete smirked.

You rolled your eyes and turned slightly. “I’ll fucking leave, Pete.”

“Hey, no no no!” Pete stumbled over his words as he grabbed your arm. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Thank you for coming all the way out here for me. I am very very grateful.”

His hold on your arm slowly slid until he was holding onto your fingers, you curled your fingers into his and held his hand loosely. “You better be.” You scoffed. “Come on, let’s go grab lunch.” You gently pulled on your intertwined hands and led him out of the back room towards the front.

“Where do you wanna go?” Pete asked as his steps fell in tandem with yours.

“You’re the local, you decide.” You looked up at him and swung your conjoined hands lightly in between you. “Surprise me.”

“Oh, so we’re doing romantic type shit now?” Pete laughed, raising his eyebrows at you.

“Romantic type shit is my favorite, you know this.” You giggled, smiling and playing along. This little act you had going on was strange but somehow comforting. You would go on these ‘dates’ that were never called dates. And neither of you would discuss the logistics. But you both knew. And that’s what was comforting. There was no lying or hiding, just collective evading.

“I’ll take you to this place Casey and I would go to when we were kids.” He paused when he opened the door and motioned for you to go first. You walked down the stairs together and started walking along the sidewalk. “The owner knew my dad, so he used to give us free ice cream sometimes.”

“You think we can get some free ice cream today?” You asked, somewhat joking but also. Free ice cream.

“Not sure, but if he sees you we might.” Pete laughed and shook his head. “Last time I took a date there was during junior year. You should’ve seen his face, he was so fucking happy for me.”

“Junior year Pete was getting laid, huh?” You asked teasingly.

“Pfft, he fucking wishes.” He snorted. “Junior year Pete would pass out if he was here in my shoes right now.”

“I bet he would.” You hummed. “This movie is insane.”

“Not what I was talking about.” Pete said with a tight lipped smile on his face. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, looking at him for an answer. He simply looked down at your interlaced hands.

“Oh.” You smiled shyly, warmth blooming in your chest. “I thought the sappy stuff was my department?”

“I can contribute.” He shrugged as he came to a stop at a crosswalk. “It’s that one over there.” He pointed to the classic pizzeria looking joint right across from you.

“Thank god, I’m starving.” You sighed, stomach rumbling at the thought of food of any kind.

You walked in and followed Pete as he led you to the booth in the back corner. You peaked behind you to look through the windows at the front and saw what Pete no doubt took notice of before you. A guy with a camera up to his face was on the sidewalk adjacent to the one you and Pete were walking on. Lovely.

The paps were a problem you weren’t expecting to face in Staten Island, but Pete warned you otherwise. They were a hindrance on set, but they were even worse off set. A few times you were followed when you would go to get food on your own or you were heading home for the night. Pete promised you to always accompany you whenever he could after that, not wanting you to deal with the paps alone.

Cozying up in the corner booth, you were almost sure they couldn’t see you from outside. You let out a sigh of relief and leaned back, letting your shoes bump into Pete’s. “So, what’s good here?”

“They’ve got this eggplant tower thing that barely tastes like eggplants. It’s crazy good.” Pete told you, hands going up to show you how big it would be. “Should be good for both of us.”

“Great, we’ll take that then.” You smiled and nodded, glad to not have the anxiety of looking over a menu for the first time and take forever to read through it only to end up with a cheese pizza or something basic like that.

After flagging down a waiter in the semi busy restaurant and ordering the food, Pete dropped his arms onto the table and looked over at you. “Maude give you shit today?”

“I think she writes it down in her schedule.” You replied and laughed. “I think she means well, though.”

“She’s like my real little sister now.” Pete nodded as he spread open his palm next to your hand on the table. “Her and Casey have joined forces.”

Lifting your hand gently, you traced the lines on his palms with your fingers. “How is Casey? She excited to shoot next week?”

“Yeah, yeah. She’s a little nervous.” Pete replied as he held your hand in his, trapping your tracing fingers in between his. “She’s going back and forth on whether she wants to come or not.”

“No, she should come!” You said, whining at the thought of losing that scene in the movie. “She’s gonna be great. Did you tell her that she’s my favorite character in the movie?”

Sighing, Pete rolled his eyes and nodded. “I did and she won’t shut up about it.”

Lunch included lots of jokes and laughter, with your hand in his the whole time. Neither of you said anything about the hands, or the fact that you trapped one of his legs in between yours under the table. No lying or hiding, just collective evading.

Both of you only managed to eat half of the truly gigantic eggplant tower, so you decided to have it packed up for later. You called over a waiter, a different one this time who seemed to be a teenager by the looks of it, who clearly recognized you or at least Pete. They quickly nodded and smiled, taking the plate of food from your table and the empty glasses. You saw them skitter off and whisper to one of their colleagues along the way, no doubt telling them that you were here.

“I think we’ve been caught.” You whispered to Pete. He looked over to where you were facing and sighed.

“I think we have.” Pete chuckled. “Watch, Andy’s gonna come out any minute now.”

Exactly as Pete predicted, a tall man with a huge grin on his face came out from the back. He marched over to your table with open arms. “Peter! It’s been so long, young man!”

Pete stood up and gave the man a hug. “Hey Andy, how are you?”

Andy pulled away and gave Pete a heavy pat on the shoulder. “I ain’t any younger pal, I can tell you that.” He said with the heaviest New York accent you’ve ever heard. He sneaked a few glances at you as he spoke, clearly curious. “Who’s your friend, Peter?”

Pete’s cheeks grew a little red as he cleared his throat. “Andy, this is y/n. She’s my co-star in this movie we’re shooting.”

“Co-star? Is that what they’re calling it nowadays?” Andy mumbled as he turned to look at you as you stood up to face him. “Is he treating you good?”

You laughed and nodded. “Of course he is, Pete’s a great guy. You should know, Pete says you’ve known each other since he was a kid.”

“I have, I have. Used to give him free ice cream. I bet he didn’t tell you that.” Andy pointed at Pete accusingly.

“He did, actually.” You hummed.

“Good, ‘cause you’re getting some today too.” Andy nodded before turning to face the kitchen. “Sammy! Get me two ice cream cones, mixed!”

“No, that’s alright-” You started before Andy interrupted you.

“It’s my treat, kid.” Andy said with a kind smile. “For Pete and his co-star.”

With your ice cream cones and bag of leftover food in hand, you and Pete said your goodbyes to Andy as you left the restaurant. You kept close to Pete as you walked down the sidewalk, the same pap from earlier could be seen in the corner of your eye. But he didn’t seem to be following you, so you calmed down slightly.

“Holy shit!” You gasped when it hit you, eyes wide. “We’re late! I didn’t even feel the time.”

Pete glanced at his watch and saw that it had been way more than fifteen minutes. You had been off set for almost forty minutes at this point. He looked at you and you both paused for a second before bursting into laughter. He shrugged with a frown. “Oh well.”

You continued your stroll in a comfortable silence as you both finished your ice cream. You spotted a little playground hidden behind a few trees as you popped the last bit of the crunchy cone in your mouth. “Look Pete, swings.” You pointed.

“You wanna go on the swings?” He asked and you nodded. “You’re not worried about Judd on set?”

“What set?” You asked with faux confusion. “I wasn’t called on set today.” Pete laughed as he let you pull him towards the swings.

Neither of you were swinging really, your younger self would have been disappointed at your lack of enthusiasm. You were both just swaying next to each other, holding the two chains in between you to keep yourself from swaying too far away.

“Isn’t it weird how normal people don’t have to make things official?” Pete asked all of a sudden. “With relationships, I mean. If they figure that shit out with each other, that’s it. They don’t need to post something stupid on Instagram or whatever.”

“I guess, yeah.” You nodded. “But who do you consider to be not normal?”

“Us.” He said, eyes downcast at the bag of food he put on the ground between the swings.

You paused to articulate your thoughts. “We don’t have to do anything if we don’t want to. Fuck Instagram. We are normal people.”

Pete laughed at your tone, defensive but not against him. “We are.”

This time you looked down at the ground and avoided Pete’s gaze. “Is this… Is this about us? You and me?”

Pete didn’t answer. His silence on this topic has never scared you until now. Was he thinking of being serious with you? Or the opposite? Was this his messed up way of letting you down slowly? The collective evading was no longer comforting but frightening. Was he just playing around with your feelings while you thought it was a slow start to something you didn’t know you wanted?

“I think I’m in love with you.”

With wide eyes you looked back up at Pete, seeing the anxiousness in his eyes. “What?” You asked softly.

“I-I wasn’t sure, but then I was talking to-” You cut him off with a kiss, pulling his swing closer to yours and placing a hand on his cheek. He moaned lightly into the kiss and placed his hand on your waist, turning your swing to face him properly.

You pulled away slowly and sighed. “I think I’m in love with you, too.”

That was your first kiss with Pete. The thought made you laugh. “What’s funny?” He asked.

“That was our first kiss.” You said and he nodded. “So you’re saying that you fell in love with me before we even kissed?”

“Yes?” Pete furrowed his eyebrows. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Not necessarily, no.” You shook your head. “But what if I was a bad kisser?”

Pete clicked his tongue and pulled away with a laugh. “You’re not a bad kisser.”

“But what if I was?” You retorted, giggling. “Would you still love me if I was a bad kisser?”

“First of all, yes.” Pete pointed out. “Second, you wouldn’t be a bad kisser.”

“But what if I was?” You repeated.

“We would have lots and lots of practice.”

#pete davidson #pete davidson fanfic #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson fluff #pete davidson fanfiction #pete davidson imagine #the king of staten island

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mrkis · 2 years ago

Text

a long twlg submission below the cut!! my response will be under it!

First of all I literally love you like your writing makes me wanna shower you in love. Secondly, its gonna be long so I am sorry but I really want to share the things that I love in this part so bear with me plz. (also its my first time msging anyone on the app and I am nad at using it TTT)

I totally love how you incorporated the perspective. I mean we always hear that every story have two different sides and I love how you manage to capture that exactly. Before reading this part I had a feeling that jaemin loves y/n with those subtle hint like him wanting to become exclusive and offering her this whole fwb situation. But now, simply putting jaemin feelings within the boundaries of love and like is difficult. As you use the word jaemin “appreciate” y/n in the fic is the best answer. Its cuz he himself isn’t sure about his feeling toward y/n if there exist something like romantic love or not.

Reading the 5 part I literally thought of jaemin being an asshole toward y/n (because of him leaving y/n to spend time with eunbin) but now after reading his perspective, he just wanted to forget eunbin that’s the whole reason why he was with y/n. and its not like y/n wasn’t using him for the same purpose in the start. Again in all of his moments with y/n or him spending time with y/n was because y/n was grounding him reality. So yeah he is still an asshole for not understanding but he is an understandable and justified asshole.

One thing that caught my attention was how you showed him losing himself and how many strike each took, I really enjoyed him losing at the friends though (sorry not feeling bad for hyuck and yang). I absolute love that if jaemin have jeno to support him, Yang have hyuck which is admirable to see how they stick to each other. Other thing I noticed that renjun is like haru. He watches from a distant, usually don’t interfere unless there is a need to and he observes everything and gives advices. I literraly love haru and renjun they are the sweetest couple.

Plus it was interesting to see that you didn’t put any of jaemin prespective from when the eubin appears again in his life. I really want to know his side at that time. It creates perfect suspense for the next part. I am veryyyyyy exciting for the next part.

[ mrkis response ] : ahhh tysm for the compliment :( i'm so happy you liked it!! and please don't apologise for the long message, i get to excited when i see messages like these!!! and i feel honoured being the first person you've done this too <3

i loved adding jaemin's perspective into twlg.. it's been a long time coming and it was needed so badly!! from the responses i've read via tumblr and discord, it has caused so much chaos and i'm loving it!! jaemin has always been a mystery within twlg, like... nobody knew exactly what he was thinking bc he was so quiet and kept to himself mostly. i think he did open up a lil bit during his talk with mc in part four abt eunbin, that was the only time he was honest and open abt his thoughts and his feelings which is fun.

jaemin is scared of the word 'love', which is why he uses 'appreciate' a lot. the opening to part six says "jaemin appreciates the things he loves" and you can interpret that as anything which i love!!

in part five, jaemin does seem like a dickhead to mc but when you'll see six(pt.2) in his perspective (when eunbin is here) you'll understand everything... everything happens for a reason and you'll see that within six(pt.2) ahhh i can't wait!!!

and yes!!!! despite the group being a big friendly group that looks out for each other, they also have people within the group. jeno has jaemin, yangyang has donghyuck, renjun has haru and shotaro, and miwoo has mc!! i'm actually really glad you pointed that out :)

and dw!!! six(pt.2) will all be in jaemins pov and you will see his thought process, his emotions and his actions for when eunbin comes back

#thanks for submitting!#fic: the way life goes

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fairycosmos · 3 years ago

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Hello, I hope you’re having a nice day! There’s something I wondered, and I really hope it’s not selfish. I’ve wondered for a while but wasn’t sure it was appropriate to ask. It really sucks to see someone so down, you seem like a good person, and deserve some freedom! So I suppose, when you talk about your loss, how you’ve been left with so much, how grief is a terrible burden, which is completely reasonable. Do you ever feel angry? Maybe angry at your sister? I know it’s not good to place unjust blame and let those feelings consume you, but just from an outside view it’s upsetting that you were the one left with such a burden! It seems cruel to me, I can’t help feeling like tour situation would naturally make someone angry at the person they lost. Is it like that? I’m really sorry if this is an ignorant thing to ask.

hey dw it's not ignorant at all, it's cool. this is going to be long but it's the only way to explain the complexities of what you asked so sorry about that! im definitely really angry. the intensity of it comes and goes, but there's always this undercurrent of rage that i literally can't let go of. ive mentioned this before, but when she first died, every time i tried to speak to her outloud (like everyone told me to) it would just end up with me lecturing her. like a parent. i could not and still can't believe what she's done, even if it wasn't intentional. i cant stand it. i feel frustrated to the point of tears that she wasn't more careful, that she didn't perceive enough value in herself and her life to take care of herself properly. because she was quite literally the most amazing person ive ever known, and i can not fathom that she would be so careless and that she would gamble her safety like that. the last few weeks were so enraging, she just wouldn't listen. it was like she was very suddenly a different person, and i'm still carrying a lot of frustration because of that. on a related note, we used to joke all the time that dealing with our family, and with the future, would be hell if we didn't have each other - she used to tease me like, what would you do without me? - and now i'm so beyond mad that that is my reality. and it will be forever because of her actions. i'm alone in the worst way without her and i can't put into words how mad i am because of it. it feels almost mocking. sometimes i look at her pictures and think, you're laughing at me right now. even though i know that's not fair. she would be fucking devastated to see that things turned out this way. she would spend forever apologising, but ultimately i still don't think shes got anything to be sorry for. she was struggling in a way i never have, above all else.

i'm really pissed off at the nature of her death and at the nature of grief, too. i think all the time about how unlucky she was, about how her shitty boyfriend abused drugs for years and hes still alive - the whole fucking world takes them. i don't understand why she died and how it happened so quickly, i just don't get it. theres a lot about that actual overdose that makes me deranged with anger too, i can barely talk about that part. and mourning itself is so frustrating. i'm incredibly angry at how permanent it is, how isolating, how nobody seems to get it. and how anyone has the audacity to think i should care about the world, or about my own life, or anything. my best friend died, everything else is background noise. the fact that i'm expected to keep going is a fucking joke. i'm also super mad at my family, which i'll never say to them, but i am. maybe they just shouldn't have fucking had kids if they were going to let them turn out like this. obviously the person i'm most angry at is myself, because i should have done more. i go on about how she was the person i loved the most in this world, and look at how she ended up. i'll never stop being pissed at myself for not checking on her more that night, or for not dragging her to a rehab center, even if i know logically it wasn't that simple back then. she'd have told me she was taking care of it, she'd have lied. but yeah, when i think about it, the outline of this whole situation is just absolute unadulterated fury.

#anon #talking #tw addiction #tw death #long post

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cinnaminsvga · 4 years ago

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autumn leaves | l.i.b. finale

→ summary: and in the end, we fall because we have no other choice. some get up easier than others, and we bury the ones who never do.

→ pairing: ??? x reader → genre: angst, humor, fluff, lib!au → warnings: tae gets hurt a little but its an accident (he’s fine dw), small blood mention (from aforementioned accident), rage moments (rip lol), heartbreak (yum!), a happy ending (?) → words: 7.7K → a/n: oh my god we’re at the end?? after two months of SUFFERING?? how can this be happening?? lol but seriously thank you to everyone for going on this journey with me. writing lib was honestly so much fun, and it’s been a while since i’ve been able to kinda go “all-out” or whatever. i’m kind of nervous with this ending, but hopefully it’s something everyone will be able to enjoy. peace!!

prev // part 38 of 38 masterlist here. [series completed]

October 1, 2020 — 6:18 PM

Min Yoongi’s phone feels like it's burning a hole into his back pocket. It’s a heavy presence, weighing like concrete enough to bend his spine. His hands itch to reach for it, to check for messages he knows he won’t receive. But in the back of his mind, he thinks—desperately and senselessly, that if he wishes hard enough, then maybe it’ll come true.

I should be glad that she isn’t calling me, he tries to convince himself. The itch continues to grow, licking at the back of his mind like a fire begging to be extinguished. I should trust her decision. I should be proud of her. But there’s always been a difference, after all, to what Yoongi should do and what he wants. It’s a difference that he has fought to ignore for years now.

“Hyung,” a soft voice calls out to him, a hand placed gently on his shoulder. Yoongi blinks slowly out of his trance, his eyes dry from staring out his car window for too long. He doesn’t turn in his seat, refusing to face his companion in the backseat. “Hyung,” the voice calls out again, this time shaking him vigorously enough that Yoongi has no other choice but to turn lest his shoulders get dislocated.

“What do you want, Jimin?” Yoongi growls, sneering at the boy. Jimin smiles sheepishly, but he doesn’t back down under his glare.

“Sorry. You were gripping the wheel so tightly that I was scared you were going to break it.” Jimin shrugs nonchalantly, but there’s an edge to his tone, betraying his worry. Yoongi releases the wheel at once, switching to picking at the rips in his jeans instead.

“Didn’t notice. Sorry for snapping at you, I was just…” Yoongi trails off, expression glazing over once more. What was he trying? What was he doing here?

Jimin’s pupils flit all over Yoongi’s face, searching for something. “We’re not going to bring her home anymore?” he asks, but there’s a note of finality there. He knows that they aren’t going home with them tonight, at least not right now. They’ve been parked a block away from Namjoon’s childhood home for a few hours now, sitting in Yoongi’s car and waiting to see if you needed them to help you escape. Jimin has been watching Yoongi all the while, keeping track of the small changes in his friend’s expression.

They are hard to pinpoint sometimes, but Jimin sees them all. He sees the way Yoongi’s brow furrows slightly, sees the way his teeth nibble on his lips in worry, sees the way his head jerks every time he hears a sound, thinking that it might be his phone about to ring. Yoongi is like a pot about to boil over, hardly keeping everything together.

To many people, Yoongi often appears to be as unmoving as a rock. He hardly allows his emotions to control him, and he has always been proud to call himself a level-headed person. And for the most part, Jimin agrees with that. Yoongi is and always will be someone who thrives in times of turmoil, someone who relies on his wit to get him through adversity. He seldom gets angry, rarely raises his voice, never acts cruelly. He’s the person that everyone in their friend group often comes to for advice and support, as he’s always the one who seems to have the right thing to say.

But all those things begin to crumble, however, when it comes to you.

Yoongi is still human, too. He bends, he breaks, he yields—and he does so, especially for you.

“No, we’re not bringing her home,” Yoongi replies. The admission is there, hidden in plain sight. His words are laced with defeat, but it is a defeat that has been accepted long ago. Long before his text conversation with you.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Jimin asks, not unkindly. Even still, Yoongi winces. Jimin’s real question is there, hidden in plain sight as well. What are you waiting for?

Yoongi sighs, resting his forehead against the wheel. He hears Jimin shift in his seat, feels his presence get closer as he leans forward to place a comforting hand on his back. “Nothing,” he says. He breathes deeply through his nose and counts to three. Releases it. “We are waiting for nothing.”

Jimin hums and says nothing more. They sit there in silence for a bit longer, watching the sun’s final moments in the sky before the moon takes its place. The street lamps turn on, bathing the streets in its dusty yellow luminescence. Under the lights, Yoongi’s skin looks tired and worn, like a paper that has been crumpled and smoothed over multiple times.

“I wonder if they’ve finished speaking by now,” Yoongi says suddenly. He still hasn’t moved from his position, his face hidden from view. It almost looks like he hadn’t spoken at all, but Jimin had heard him. He looks at Yoongi in surprise but keeps his silence. Jimin can feel the beginnings of something about to break, and he is afraid that if he makes a sound, it might stop. Even stones break in the end.

“I doubt it. They have a lot of shit to talk about. Too much, in fact.” Yoongi sounds exhausted, his words slurring together like he’s falling asleep. But he’s never been more wide awake. “I’d have a lot to say if I were them. But I’m not them, nor will I ever be.”

Yoongi tilts his head high enough that he can rest his chin on the wheel instead. He stares blankly at the quiet street, listens intently to the sound of the wind beating gently against his car. Parked out there, in the middle of a small neighborhood in Ilsan, far away from the bustling streets of the city, he can almost trick himself into thinking that he’s the only person in the world—

“You love her.”

—but he isn’t alone.

Jimin says it without a shade of doubt. He says it like it's a simple truth of life, like there is no other possible way Yoongi could feel otherwise. The sky is blue. The earth is round. Min Yoongi is in love with you.

“Yes,” Yoongi breathes it out, the confession tumbling through his lips with quiet ease. It does not struggle; it does not resist. It just is. “I’ve loved her before I even knew it myself, I think.”

“I never thought you’d be the type to fall in love at first sight,” Jimin says it lightly, teasingly. There’s a shrivel of truth to it though, but Yoongi will deny it to his dying day; it’ll hurt less if he does.

“I think it started a year ago. When I was preparing for my junior year exhibition.” Yoongi remembers the long nights working until his hands bled, the recurring nightmares eating at his mind, the fear climbing his spine like a tightrope pulled taut. It’s one of the only times when he had bitten more than he could chew, piling impossible expectations onto himself. In those long three weeks of constant anxiety nipping at his heels, he had almost forgotten what it was like to be human. That is, until…

“She saved me. She taught me to slow down, to be compassionate to myself. She didn’t judge me or scold me or hurt me. She just… cared.” Yoongi exhales, clenching his eyes shut. He can see it in his head: your soft hands carding through his hair, whispering assurances and praise into his ears, guiding him to his bed and staying with him until he’d fallen asleep soundly for the first time in days. “Slowly but surely, I started to fall for her. There was just no other way. My heart refused to have it any other way,” he says.

Jimin hums. “I’d always guessed, but I never thought it was that early. You do have an awful habit of staring, hyung. Sometimes I feel like you have to remind yourself to blink.”

Yoongi laughs, hollow sounding. “I suppose I do.”

“Then why didn’t you do anything about it then?”

Jimin’s question is expected. It should be an easy one to answer, but Yoongi doesn’t quite know what to say. It’s easy to say that he knew Jungkook and you already loved each other long before he realized his feelings, and Yoongi was the last person on earth who would do anything to hurt either of you to fulfill his desires. It’s true, but it’s not the whole truth.

So instead, Yoongi responds, “It’s because I’m a hypocrite.” When he doesn’t elaborate, he sees Jimin give him a confused look from the rearview mirror.

Yoongi chuckles sardonically, shaking his head. His mouth feels like acid, as if bile had risen up his throat. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, but it would hurt more later if he didn’t suck the poison out right here and now. “Nevermind about that. The point is, I lost my chance and I don’t regret it. Yeah, it fucking hurts like a bitch, but what am I going to do? Cry about it? We’ve all known since the beginning that if anyone is going to get a happy ending, it’s certainly not going to be me.”

“Don’t say that,” Jimin says, frowning slightly. He had spoken so sternly that it impelled Yoongi to straighten up in his seat and turn to stare at him. It’s quite unlike Jimin to be anything but friendly and kind, so seeing him so severe is disconcerting. Though, it did manage to shut Yoongi up immediately.

“This is not the end of the world. You are not going to end up unloved or forgotten. There are people who love you, people who will love you. Don’t you remember? Those were the same words you told me when I got my heart broken the first time,” Jimin says, his voice trembling ever so slightly. Yoongi’s gaze flies to Jimin’s fists, clenched tightly by his sides.

Of course, Yoongi remembers. It’s hard to forget the sight of Park Jimin sobbing relentlessly into his shoulder, fat tears falling like raindrops and down his flushed cheeks. He remembers saying the same words to you, too. He wonders, not for the first time, if his words are as ineffective to you as they are to him right now.

“I know,” Yoongi says. He switches the engine on and watches his dashboard light up. The radio turns on, the last notes of a ballad playing through the speakers. Yoongi puts his hand on the wheel, carefully not to grip too tightly this time. It’s a start, he thinks.

They go home, leaving without looking back.

x x x x x

October 1, 2020 — 9:20 PM

Kim Taehyung locks his bedroom door the moment he gets home, after casting a furtive glance at the closed door across from his. He does not know what he expects; the door across from him has been closed for almost a week now. The entire apartment is still, but he is not alone. The ghost who lives in the other bedroom still haunts him, in more ways than one.

He drops his bag to the floor, still cradling a small bouquet of camellias that was slightly crushed when he had bumped into someone in the elevator. He unpeels the plastic wrapping, gently placing them into the vase near his windowsill. He fingers the vibrant pink petals, but they don’t brighten his room the way they once did. It still feels dark, but he has a sinking suspicion that he had nothing to do with his lights.

It’s me. I’ve changed.

He shakes his head, banishing the thought. No, it’s okay. Everything is fine. You’ve done nothing wrong. And yet, the door across the hall begs to differ.

Typically, this shouldn’t be a problem for him. When everything is said and done, Taehyung is used to this happening. The closed doors, the unopened texts, the cold shoulders. It’s all a process that Taehyung has lived through for years.

Guilt: an emotion that Taehyung has become accustomed to. Abandonment: an action that Taehyung has learned to anticipate. Isolation: a lifestyle that Taehyung has mastered. Every relationship with Kim Taehyung will always lead to these three things, so it shouldn’t be affecting him the way that it is.

But over the last three years, he’d grown comfortable. The people around him had convinced him unknowingly, planting seeds of hope and optimism in a garden he had thought to be infertile. For once in his life, Taehyung had found a home in these people, and he’d do anything in his power to keep it safe.

Or at least, he thought he did.

His original intentions had been guileless; he wanted to help Jungkook because he was his friend. Jungkook had been his first friend in university—if he wanted to be honest, then Taehyung would even say that Jungkook was his first friend in his entire life. The boy was kind-hearted and supportive, wrapped perfectly with a goofy personality. Of course, Taehyung wasn’t blind to Jungkook’s faults, but he was sure that Jungkook didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He had decided back then that he could trust this one, and once he had allowed Jungkook into his life, the rest followed suit.

It was easy to empathize with Jungkook because he was just so… awkward. It was like watching a newborn fawn learning to walk for the first time, except Jungkook had long since outgrown his baby status and should have been independent long ago. Taehyung and everyone knew this about him, but they still gave him the benefit of the doubt. They mentored him, guided him, manipulated him in the wrong ways in hopes of hastening him to change. That was until…

Everything fell apart. Taehyung understood long before the fall that he had played a considerable part in Jungkook’s ruin. His negligence, his willful involvement in worsening the situation had exacerbated everything. He had ignored the signs, had barrelled through with his plans without another thought, all because he allowed himself to be blind to what he truly wanted out of this mess.

If he genuinely wanted to be a friend to Jungkook, he would’ve stopped interfering way before you had gone to Ilsan that one fateful weekend in August. He’d been aware he was doing more harm than good to everyone around him, including himself.

No, he stopped wanting to help Jungkook a long time ago. It had turned into his own personal agenda.

“Fuck!” Taehyung screams into the night sky, slamming his hands against the wall. He grabs the nearby vase, smashing it against the floor and scattering water, petals, and glass across the floor. The impact causes a few shards to imbed themselves into his shin, but he does not mind them, for he does not feel them.

He breathes heavily, gritting his teeth in unspeakable rage. He’s angry, so furious. This red hot searing rage builds up in his body until he starts to feel dizzy, his vision blurred with tinges of black. Why is he mad? Who is he mad at?

Is he mad at Jungkook? Yes, but that isn’t new. He’s been angry at Jungkook for a while now. It frustrates him to no end how lucky Jungkook is without even knowing. How easily love comes to him, how pain and misfortune had never been in his vocabulary until just recently. Jungkook had you, Yoongi, and Jimin for longer than he has. Jungkook has been swaddled in affection since the start but has always been too stupid to see. If he had just stopped being so cowardly, he could have easily gotten the person he loves without anyone’s help.

If he just learned to ask, if he just learned to stop fucking locking his goddamn door—

Just like Taehyung.

They are two sides of the same coin, and it scares him.

This raw, unadulterated rage is not about Jungkook, but himself. It was always about him.

He lets out one last defiant shout at the frigid sky before dropping to his bed in defeat. The fury subsides as quickly as it comes, but it only leaves a desolate landscape inside of him.

He does not know for how long he lies there. When he stands, he leaves bloody footprints in his wake. “Appropriate,” he mutters to himself. He limps over to his door, hobbling to the adjacent bathroom to retrieve a first-aid kit. When he opens the door, Taehyung does not notice the small white box placed in front of his doorway. He nearly trips over it, saving himself by latching onto the wooden frame. He glances down, picking up the box gingerly when he sees a small sticky note tacked on top of it.

If you need help, just knock.

Taehyung looks across the hall. The door is still closed, but the person behind it is not.

His grip on the first-aid kit tightens. The first step is always the hardest.

x x x x x

October 1, 2020 — 1:03 PM

When you had run the moment you spotted Jungkook, Jung Hoseok had chosen to stay behind. He had pushed Jungkook to go after you, had yelled at him when Jungkook had hesitated for that one split second.

“Go!” he shouted, jolting Jungkook to his senses. He sprinted off, but not before giving Hoseok one last look back. Hoseok put on his bravest smile at him, throwing a thumbs up. “Don’t give up yet!”

Even now, ten minutes later, his throat still feels scratchy from how loud he had been.

He sits by the curb where he had parked his parents’ car. Namjoon sits beside him, a few inches apart. The autumn wind sends chills down his back, the afternoon sun doing its best to keep him warm. Though, he reckons that half the cold is because of the weather.

Hoseok clears his throat at the same moment Namjoon does. They share a glance, the beginnings of a smile playing on their lips. They look back to the ground, avoiding each other once more. Hoseok taps indiscernible beats with his feet while Namjoon draws shapes in the air with his fingers.

Hoseok tries again. “Umm. Namjoon,” he mumbles tentatively. He doesn’t know where to start.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, you know. I’ve known you since before you even learned how to walk.” Namjoon beats him to it, like always. “I can guess what you want to say.”

Hoseok hazards a glance at him. His friend is tanner than he remembers, the summer months having done well on his skin. He almost giggles when he notices the line where the edge of his shirt sleeve meets his bicep, the stark contrast of color evident whenever Namjoon moves his arm. It has been a while since he has seen Namjoon with a tan line, as Hoseok was usually there to remind him to put sunscreen on before leaving the house.

Usually.

Hoseok sobers up, the momentary amusement evaporating just like that. How is it that in only one month, so many things have changed between them?

“What do you think I want to say?” Hoseok responds. He tries to keep his voice level and cool, but he knows that Namjoon notices the small ways in which he falters. Namjoon knows how he rubs his neck when he’s nervous, how his ears get red when he’s embarrassed. He memorizes the exact time it takes for Hoseok’s mouth to downturn, forming into his signature pout.

He knows all these things and more. And yet, how could Namjoon possibly know the traitorous things that he has done?

“I think… you got sidetracked,” Namjoon says slowly, carefully. When Hoseok glances at him again, he finds that Namjoon is looking back. He has a contemplative expression on his face, his jaw clenched in the same way that it does when he’s solving a tough problem. “I think you wanted to help me get together with her, didn’t you? At least, in the beginning.”

“I still do,” Hoseok admits, breaking his gaze once more. He stares up ahead, where the park is bustling with children and their families. He watches a small boy swinging on a swing set, while another boy pushes him higher and higher. “Do you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“When you texted me while you were freaking out over how you were falling in love with her?”

Namjoon huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah. Of course. How could I forget? I’m still freaking out about it now.”

“I was just… worried about you, you know? I’m always worried about you,” Hoseok says. The boy on the swing set is still going, but one extra strong push from his friend causes him to tumble, landing face-first into the ground. The nearby adults begin to panic, but the boy rises unsteadily, dirt caked onto his scratched up face. But when he faces his friend, he’s smiling and laughing like he has just won the lottery.

“Not an unfounded concern,” Namjoon chuckles, causing Hoseok to put on a small smile. His laughter dies as quickly as it comes. “Was that the time you decided to help me?”

“I’ve wanted to help you since the beginning, but that was the first time I actually did something about it.” Hoseok’s heart is beating a mile a minute, his palms sweaty despite the chilly weather. “I only wanted to find out if Jungkook really liked her or not. I wanted to know if you had a chance before you fell any deeper because I didn't want you to get hurt.”

When Namjoon doesn’t say anything, Hoseok continues. “Even when he admitted that he did love her, I could sense that there was a huge chance things weren’t going to work between them as long as if some things were just… pushed in the right direction.” His voice grows smaller the more and more he speaks, the guilt feeling heavy against his windpipe. But Hoseok is determined to tell him, no matter what happens. It’s the least that Namjoon deserves.

“I suppose, in this case, it would be the wrong direction,” Namjoon hums, but he doesn’t appear angry or upset. Not yet, at least. From the corner of Hoseok’s eye, he sees him nod for him to go on.

“Yeah. I could tell he was insecure, and that insecurity was prone to growing into jealousy,” Hoseok runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots just to give his hands something to do other than to quiver. “I noticed that he shuts down whenever he’s cornered, so that’s what I did. I kept pushing him, forcing him to admit his wrongdoings but never berating him for them. So, in turn, he began relying on me for comfort instead of his friends.”

He keeps going, “I didn’t feel bad for it at first. I kept telling myself, ‘It’s all for Namjoon in the long run.’ But it didn’t take long for me to realize that I couldn’t keep helping you without hurting Jungkook in the process. I was manipulating this poor boy, and I didn’t even know it until it was too late.”

Hoseok waits for Namjoon to react. He can’t bear to look at him, far too ashamed even to consider turning. He’s sure he’ll find disgust in his kind friend’s eyes, and he isn’t sure if he’d be able to stop himself from running if he saw it. But Namjoon refuses to speak, probably not until Hoseok finishes his piece.

“Jungkook didn’t deserve what I did to him. All the things he did is nothing in comparison to the punishment I inflicted on him, especially when it was never my place to do so. I fed the monster inside of him when he was nothing but a boy who was just scared. Then, just when he still had a shot at redemption, when she was still willing to listen to him, it was also me who ruined everything. I told her about all the bad things he had done. I told her about—”

“The thing about Jungkook paying to spread that rumor,” Namjoon speaks so suddenly that Hoseok nearly chokes in surprise. He had been so quiet that he scarcely even seemed to breathe. “You told her about it, didn’t you?”

“I… Yes, I did. She told you about it?”

“Yeah. She never informed me who told her, but I suppose it makes sense. But there was something else you said, wasn’t there? Something even she wouldn’t tell me.”

Hoseok nods his head sadly. “Yes. I think she was probably more hurt to find out that Jungkook had been ignoring her in favor of hanging out with me. Indirectly, I fed into her jealousy, but instead of comforting her, I intensified her guilt.”

Beside him, Namjoon releases a shaky breath. “You brought me up.”

“Yes.” There’s no use denying it; after all, Hoseok has always been a terrible liar.

“Did you tell her..?” The question hangs heavily in the air, but Namjoon doesn’t have to finish it for Hoseok to understand.

“No, I didn’t tell her you love her. I just mentioned how she was hurting you by loving Jungkook. That’s all. I don’t think she even had the chance to understand what I meant.”

There’s a moment of silence. The two boys sit side by side, looking to all the world like friends just enjoying an autumn afternoon together. The sounds of children singing, of parents chatting, of lovers laughing try their best to fill the space, but the gap is already too big to mend. At least, not immediately.

“Okay.”

Hoseok startles once more, this time managing to gather enough courage to take a peek at Namjoon. He keeps his eyes low, staring at the mole on his chin. “Okay?” he repeats.

Namjoon shrugs half-heartedly. “It’s done. All we can do now is wait, I guess.”

“But… you’re not..?”

“Mad at you? No, I’m not. Am I hurt? Incredibly so.” Namjoon swallows thickly, his chin wobbling as he finds the strength to keep his tears at bay. “But I can tell you found your way back to the light, and I’m more relieved that you realized your mistake more than anything. I forgive you, but just know that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.”

“That’s already more than I deserve, Joon,” he says shakily. He feels a hand snake around his own, and he looks down to find their fingers laced together. On Namjoon’s wrist, the bracelet he had made for him in the 7th grade is frayed and mangled, but still ever-present. “But… what now? If they truly end up fixing everything, will you be okay with it? If Jungkook is still fighting for her… why aren’t you?”

“Same goes for you, I suppose,” Namjoon says simply. He doesn’t explain what he means by that, but Hoseok is honestly too afraid to ask. He’s always felt like Namjoon knew a little bit too much about things that he shouldn’t. He smiles, but there is a tinge of melancholy there.

Just out of reach, the way Namjoon has always seemed to be.

x x x x x

October 1, 2020 — 5:12 PM

At first, Jeon Jungkook is surprised to find the park more empty than when he was here a few hours ago. He supposes it is only to be expected, as dinner time is fast approaching and all the families have returned to their homes, preparing for the festivities. In another life, he might have been one of those families, sitting around a table with his brother and parents and eating to his heart’s content. Perhaps he might’ve asked you to join him, just like you had in the past.

He finds you seated on one of the benches near the entrance, kicking away fallen leaves absentmindedly. He takes this moment to observe you from afar, his breath getting caught in his throat when he realizes how long it has been since he last saw you.

His heart aches, the constant heaviness that has made a home in his chest growing tenfold. There are no words to explain the plethora of emotions flying through his head, but all he knows is that at the root of it all, he simply just misses you.

You hear him approach him before you see him. When he looks at you, Jungkook doesn’t know how you’re feeling. He used to be so good at anticipating your mood, always the first one to sense when you were upset or annoyed. Now, you just looked… blank, and for some reason, that hurts to see more than if you had been angry.

Jungkook stops right in front of you, his black boots crunching on dead leaves. You motion for him to take a seat beside you, patting the bench lightly.

“Hi. It’s been a while,” you say softly. You aren’t looking at him, and your hair obstructs him from viewing your face.

“Hello,” he replies, feeling dumb. He can’t think of anything better to say, all the things he had prepared in his mind suddenly blown away with the wind. The sight of you alone makes his mouth go dry, his hands to grow cold and clammy. He realizes, not for the first time, how terribly out of his depth he is.

“This has certainly been a long time coming, hasn’t it?”

“It has been,” he agrees. “It’s almost laughable how long it’s taken us to get to this moment.”

You bark out a laugh, the hoarse sound ringing in the air. “Laughable is certainly one way to put it, I guess.”

“Then why did you ignore me for so long? Why did you suddenly shut me out when you told me you wanted to talk? What happened?” He speaks without meaning to, the words flying out of his mouth before he can think of stopping. If his sudden inquiry startles you, you don’t show it.

“I could ask you the same thing.” You shrug, pushing back some of your hair behind your ear. He can see the slope of your nose, the outline of your lips, the shape of your eyes. He memorizes all these things about you, sees you in his dreams and nightmares, but nothing can ever beat real life.

“I’m sorry.” It’s a start: two words heavy with meaning. What does he apologize for first? The rumors? The jealousy? The betrayal? It wouldn’t matter which one he chooses to tackle first because he already knows sorry isn’t going to cut it, but he has to try at least. This isn’t really about him anymore or about asking for forgiveness. You deserve to know everything he’s done—if you wanted to know, that is.

You blink rapidly, but your eyes are dry. “I know.”

“You don’t have to forgive me.”

“I know.”

“You don’t have to trust me.”

“I don’t,” you say, and it hurts the both of you when you do. Jungkook feels his insides clench, feels his heart collapse in his chest. “I don’t trust you, Jungkook,” you repeat.

“I…” Jungkook has to take a few shuddering breaths, his vision going blurry as he tries to keep it together. He waits for the pain to ebb, but it flows like a river down his veins. “I hurt you a lot. It’s only right that you don’t trust me.”

“I have a lot of regrets,” you say, sniffling. You still aren’t crying, but your nose is red from the cold. He wonders how long you had sat here waiting for him to arrive. How long have you been waiting for him in general?

“I have a lot of those, too,” he says. “I regret being unfair to you. For keeping people away from getting close to you, like a property meant to be hidden away. I tried to steal you for myself, but that’s not a very good thought, is it? I shouldn’t have thought that you were a thing to be kept. You should have been someone I treasured.”

“Then why didn’t you treasure me?” The question echoes loudly in Jungkook’s ears, as it’s the very same question that has weighed in his mind the moment he started to wonder where he’d gone wrong. Why hadn’t he loved you the way that he should have?

“Because I abused your love for me, even when I wasn’t aware of it,” he says plainly. He has known the answer for a while now but refused to accept it until this moment. It feels like a cork inside of him has burst, releasing all the foul, wretched things inside of him and out into the open. And once they start tumbling out, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop.

“I think we both knew we loved each other for as long as we can remember. We skirted around each other because we were scared of change, of losing the friendship we had built over the years. We purposefully ignored each other’s feelings and brushed off our friends’ attempts to help us realize something we already knew.”

“We did,” you say. “That was both our faults.”

“But I was never good at bottling up my feelings. It was only a matter of time before the love I had for you began to grow claws and fangs, and somehow along the way,” he pauses, a breath of sorrowful laughter escaping him, “I had gotten lost.”

Your expression morphs then, shifting from pain, to grief, to acceptance. You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Your eyes look glazed over, like your mind is somewhere else. When you come back down, you already have another question for him. “Why didn’t you ever ask me out?”

He should just say something else, but he can’t help but wonder—”Why didn’t you?”

“I tried—a couple of times. You never noticed they were dates,” you shrug. A leaf from one of the nearby trees gets caught in your hair, and Jungkook reflexively plucks it out. You both freeze when his fingers graze your nape, gazes locking with one another. He jerks his hand back, but doesn’t look away—doesn’t dare to.

(It might be his last chance.)

“I’m sorry for being dense. For resorting to buying rumors so that I could pretend to date you when I could have asked for the real thing. I’m sorry for setting you up with… Namjoon,” he hesitates on his name, and you notice. “It must have confused you greatly, only worsening the doubt you must’ve had for me.”

“It did.” The corners of your eyes look wetter than before, tears dangerously close to the surface. “When I asked you if I should go to Ilsan the first time... You told me to go, even though everyone told me you were jealous of Namjoon. I was starting to believe them, hoping that maybe it was a sign that everything before then had just been a misunderstanding. But that was all you, wasn’t it? Why didn’t you tell me to stay?”

“It was a mistake,” he mutters. He shakes his head at the memory: a frequent recurring nightmare of his as he is forced to remember the moment everything had started to go downhill. “I had realized I was being a jealous asshole far too late, and I was trying to clear my own conscience. I thought that… if I let you go, then you’d think better of me. That I might be absolved of my sins if I took your trip as my penance. I didn’t think you were trying to see if I would stop you,” he explains, but it sounds like an excuse even to his ears.

You sit together, watching the sun begin to set, bathing the world in its orange hues. Jungkook feels empty, wrung out like a towel left to dry. The wounds inside him ache and throb, but he knows they won’t last. As surely as the sun will rise, he will also relearn to feel whole again—even if it means you won’t be there to see it.

“I waited for so long, Koo.” You shake your head, allowing a few traitorous tears to fall. You let out a watery laugh. “ I waited for this moment for so long, but I never imagined it would be like this.”

Jungkook studies his hands. He desperately wants to hold you one more time, but the ship has already sailed. “We’ve already sailed past each other a long time ago.”

You nod your head sadly. “We have.”

“Is it bad that I wish that we hadn’t?” he whispers, but he doesn’t really expect a response from you. He rubs his face, covertly trying to wipe his tears away. “I guess there’s a reason why you called me number two, huh?”

You can’t even force out a laugh. You sob unabashedly, cupping your face in your hands. This is the end.

This is the end of a great long adventure between you and him—the time for your roads to diverge closes in, like a shadow looming over their heads.

Jungkook wraps you in an embrace for the last time. You shake like a leaf in his arms, clutching at his chest like you don’t want to let go. He drinks you in, tries to commit everything about you to his memory. “Thank you for loving me, even if it didn’t work out. Thank you for being my first love.”

x x x x x

October 1, 2020 — 7:07 PM

Kim Namjoon opens the door to his childhood home the moment he hears footsteps climbing up the stairs. He’d done so numerous times already, spooking one or two of his neighbors at his sudden appearance. This time, however, he finds the person he had been waiting for.

“Oh, Y/N. Thank god,” he sighs in relief when he sees you, rushing out the door just as you finish taking the last stairstep. You wobble in surprise when you notice him, nearly falling over with a scream before he catches you by the waist to keep you steady. He pulls you close, pressing your face gently into his chest.

“I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so sorry for bringing you to Ilsan even though Yoongi told us not to go. I’m sorry for not telling you that I knew Jungkook and Hoseok were coming here, too. I’m so sorry for—”

“Namjoon,” you try to interrupt him, but he keeps going.

“—wanting you and Jungkook to reconcile even if you didn’t want you to leave me. You just looked so sad all the time, and I knew you needed to speak to him at least one more time so that you could find closure, but I should have asked you first like a decent person—”

“Namjoon,” you repeat. Namjoon pauses long enough to see that our eyes are red-rimmed from crying, further increasing the panic rising in his body.

“Oh god, I didn’t want you to be sadder! I just… God! I just wanted to help you for once, because you always helped me with everything. I know you deserve to make your own decisions, to be your own person, but I ignored that in favor of following my stupid gut—”

“Joonie, the neighbors can hear you,” you hiss, furtively glancing at the doors opening around them. You can feel many eyes on you, watching curiously at the red-faced idiot babbling like a man possessed. You motion for him to stop, but he’s too caught up in the moment.

“For a while, I thought I could stop myself from falling in love with you, but it was so hard! You have to understand how impossible it is not to love you. Believe me, I tried!” Namjoon all but shouts the last part out, shaking you by the shoulders. “I don’t deserve you! I’m just not a good boyfriend! I’m insecure to a fault, I’m boring, I have mild sleep apnea, I forget to throw out the empty milk cartons—”

You yelp as he continues to shake you, gently having to pry his hands off of you to save yourself from being shaken like a bobblehead. “Joonie,” you say, firmer this time.

He rambles and rambles and rambles. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, hands gesticulating wildly like a human helicopter. He’s so wrapped up in his monologue that he doesn’t realize immediately when you take his hands in yours, forcing him to keep still.

“Joonie.”

“—and I’ve never been able to hold a relationship for longer than two months! My past girlfriend even left me after cheating on me the entire time—”

“Joonie.”

“I’ve never been good at being vulnerable and being myself, but you somehow managed to make me feel like I was worth something. You made me feel so so so incredibly loved. You made me feel important!”

“Kim Namjoon!” You shout, finally losing your temper and flicking him on the forehead. That finally manages to stop him, his eyes going cross-eyed like a cartoon character. You could almost see the flying stars orbiting his head. Properly silenced now, you push him back into his apartment, kicking the door with your foot before locking it for good measure.

When you turn back to face him, he’s still frozen where you left him. He stands in the middle of his living room like a robot, his mouth slightly agape as if his wires had been fried. Rolling your eyes goodnaturedly, you pull him to the couch, gently guiding him so that he doesn’t accidentally fall on his ass as he continues to short circuit in front of you. It takes him another whole minute to get his bearings together, but you’re a patient person. You sit in the adjacent armchair and wait for him to speak.

“Oh my god.” He swallows awkwardly, the color draining from his face. “What the hell did I do?”

“Welcome back to earth,” you smile, waving a hand in front of him. “Did you miss me?”

“I always miss you.” It seems as though Namjoon’s weird candor spell is still in effect. He has the presence of mind to be embarrassed this time, however, and you watch amusedly as his cheeks begin to redden. “I, umm…”

“Gave quite a show out there. I didn’t know you could rap,” you tease, your mouth curling up into a smile. The muscles in your cheeks feel sore, almost as if it has been ages since you last used them. This morning feels like it had happened eons ago.

“Sorry. I just… had a lot to say,” he replies lamely. He hangs his head, embarrassed to look you in the eye. “So… I’m guessing you spoke to Jungkook?”

He hears you hum in agreement, but you don’t say anything on the matter. Namjoon has never been one to pry, but his overactive brain can’t help but make connections out of nothing, trying to make sense of the world in desperation.

“I’m guessing you’re here to reject me, right? I’m sorry for confessing to you all of a sudden when you’re already spoken for. It was unfair of me, and you don’t need to try and spare my feelings at all. I’ve been prepared for this since August,” he speaks rapidly, nearly losing his breath in his haste. “It was my fault for thinking we could have happened. I mistook your kindness for reciprocation when I should have known better—”

“Joonie, my love. You’re rambling again.” Your voice snaps him back to reality. He turns redder somehow, sinking deep into his seat.

“S-sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” you huff, pouting in annoyance, but Namjoon catches the fondness in your eyes. “You aren’t unfair at all.”

“E-even so,” he stutters, heart hammering in his chest. “I shouldn’t have expected anything to happen between us. We were only going to fake date until the end of Chuseok, so it was foolish of me to try and… replace Jungkook, somehow. But I suppose, in the grand scheme of things… he’s a tough act to follow up to, huh? Seven years of loving someone is a long time. I don’t hold a candle to that,” he says dejectedly.

“But you do.” The words slip out before you can stop them. Your eyes widen, shocked by your own admission. Even so, you know what you said is true, and you wouldn’t take it back even if you could.

For a moment, you think he doesn’t hear it when he doesn’t react. It takes a second for his brain to buffer, but Namjoon had heard you, loud and clear.

“What do you mean?” His tone is soft, hesitant. Afraid, but hopeful.

You shrug your shoulders. You want to tell him everything, but you are impossibly tired, your eyelids like sandbags just waiting to fall. Namjoon must have noticed because he stumbles out of his seat with his arms outstretched, ready to keep you from slumping over.

“Woah, there. I’m sorry for interrogating when you must be exhausted. Do you want to take my bed instead of the couch tonight?” he asks, kneeling in front of you.

You blink sleepily at him, nodding with a large yawn. “I wanna talk to you but I’m tired,” you say, before promptly toppling onto him. He doesn’t flinch at your weight, catching you in an instant. He lets you nestle your face into his neck, and he grabs your arms until they’re laced around his shoulders. Slowly, he gets up with you in his arms, a feeling of weightlessness filling your senses. Safe.

When he tucks you into his bed, the sheets smell familiar and homey. Namjoon sits by the edge, brushing a few strands of hair away from your forehead. “Namjoon?” Your voice sounds muted to your own ears, as if you were underwater. But you don’t feel like you’re drowning, not at all.

“Yes?” He watches you with kind eyes, the same ones he has always had. To you, he looks like a prayer come to life, a promise ready to be fulfilled.

“You’ll be here? When I wake up?”

Namjoon exhales out a laugh, smiling sweetly. I love your dimples, you want to say, but your body feels heavy. Tomorrow. You’ll tell him for sure.

“Yes, Y/N. I’ll always be here. For as long as you want.”

You close your eyes. Tomorrow.

It’s a promise.

448 notes · View notes

tillthelandslide · 4 years ago

Text

The Perfect Trio: Henry Cavill / Anya Chalotra Fake Instagram

A/N: Hi everyone, this is a little bit of a different fake instagram post that I’ve made. I hope you like it.

Tag List: @harrysthiccthighss @thereisa8ella @magdelen69 @henrythickcavill @hc-geralt-23 @kissthatlifeaway @darkbooksarwin @august-w-princess @speakerforthedead0 @pixie1484 @constip8merm8 @tigerbroadwaybaby @agniavateira @summersong69 @aestheticallywinchester @stephartrave @al-wiisa @henrycavillfanpage @intenselikes @anat2507 @ellixthea @aguspalazzo @1ookatthestars00 @wintersoldierslut @michelehansel @cavill-sass @thecavillstache @xelizabethvalentinex @sesamepancakes @tumblnewby @thefangirlsblog @sugarmelonwater @madbaddic7ed @bakika @abundanceofsoph @noisymist @mis-lil-red @runawayolives @kellbell44

(if you would like to be added to my tag list, feel free to message me, if you are new to my blog then I post Henry Cavill fanfics and make Henry Cavill fake Instagram posts, my requests are open so feel free to request anything and I will try my best to make your vision come to life. Edit: requests are still open but there might be a delay as I am working my way through the current ones and all other stories I am writing)

your_username:

your_username This was the moment Henry found out that the Witcher got picked up for another season! Beyond proud of you @henrycavill and also excited for everyone, I know it’ll be amazing. The Witcher Season 1 is now out on Netflix and I highly recommend you watch it, you’ll get to see the amazing work @laurenhissrich has done and the amazing characters that @henrycavill @anyachalotra @freyaallan and @joeybateyofficial and many more have brought to life

Liked by henrycavill, laurenhissrich, freyaallan, joeybateyofficial and 329,928 others

View all 2,039 comments

henrycavill So excited!!

↳ your_username me too baby!!

anyachalotra Thank you so much for all of your support and love, so glad to have a friend like you

freyaallan Thank you! ALSO this is so cute

fan8 The way he’s squeezing her, adorable... literal definition of a bear hug

joeybateyofficial This is sweet

laurenhissrich woohoo!

your_username:

your_username Happy Anniversary @anyachalotra you absolute beauty. No we are not dating to those who do not know us 😂. But exactly one year ago today, I met you on the set of the Witcher... Henry had told me all about his amazing co-stars and about how lucky he felt to be working with such talented and upcoming actors. I met you and my life changed, you became my best friend quicker than anything else. I am so lucky to have a friend like you and I am so grateful to my love @henrycavill for introducing us

Liked by anyachalotra, henrycavill and 376,419 others

View all 4,593 comments

anyachalotra I love you so much. Thank you @henrycavill

↳ henrycavill You're welcome, but please don't take her from me

↳ anyachalotra No promises

henrycavill I love you

↳ your_username Love you more

freyaallan Beautiful 😍 happy anniversary 😂😘 @anyachalotra @your_username

↳ your_username Love you 💙 @freyaallan

↳ anyachalotra Love you 💜 @freyaallan

user902 This friendship is so stupid wtf. Who would want to become best friend with someone their boyfriend kisses ??

↳ user1 I 100% agree, so stupid, I dont like her anyway, would rather anya and henry get together

anyachalotra:

anyachalotra Today marks one year of knowing the absolute beautiful, wonderful, amazing, phenomenally talented and caring @your_username. The Witcher truly changed my life, I not only got the opportunity of a lifetime to play such a fantastic role, but I met some of the best people I have ever met. Working with Henry was an absolute joy but when he introduced me to you (whom he loves very much🥺) I knew I had met a lifelong best friend💕

Liked by henrycavill, your_username, freyaallan and 432,117 others

View all 4,792 comments

your_username So glad I met you 💕 also I love this picture 💕

↳ anyachalotra Me too 💕 best wrap party ever

Fan8 There friendship is cute don't get me wrong... But how can Yn be okay with Henry having to kiss her (now) best friend

↳ your_username I trust them both very much and its there job 💕

↳ hoeforhenry We stan a trusting queen

lovehenryandyn SO SO cute

user902 not really... so weird... bet henry is cheating on her with anya

↳ lovehenryandyn this is so rude, they trust each other, stop hating on them

anyachalotra:

anyachalotra two peas in a pod. @your_username forced Henry to take this 😂

Liked by freyaallan, your_username, henrycavill and 872,782 others

View all 679,891 comments

your_username My wife 💕

↳ henrycavill excuse me?

↳ your_username metaphorically speaking. You're my one and only Hen💕 sorry @anyachalotra (you're my wifey still dw)

↳ anyachalotra Jealous much @henrycavill 😂

↳ henrycavill I mean yeah? Have you seen her? Met her? She's the best

henrycavill You're welcome @anyachalotra

↳ anyachalotra For the photo or for introducing me to the @your_username

↳ henrycavill Both

↳ your_username @henrycavill you're the best

freyaallan So cute. Wish I was there with you guys 💕

↳ your_username Me too 💕 we love you and miss you

henrycavill :

henrycavill As you all know, there are certain things in my life that I like to keep private. One of those things has always been my relationships. But then I met @your_username and I wanted everyone to know her, I wanted all of my fans to see how amazing she was. I wanted everyone I worked with to know that I was the lucky guy that got to call her my partner. One of the things I love most about her is her laugh and her smile. This week I haven't seen much of that smile because some people have left her, the love of my life, some truly awful messages. This is my Yn, she is beautiful, loving, caring, talented, a good friend, truly supportive and the most important person in my life. Please love her as much as I do and stop the nasty comments. Yn has taught me that everyone can be a little kinder 💕

Liked by joeybateyofficial, anyachalotra and 1,128,837 others

View all 121,738 comments

truefan The fact he had to post this in the first place, breaks my heart. I don't think people understand that by hurting his loved ones, you're hurting him

↳ fan19 Why did she get hate?

↳ truefan Not 100% sure. I know some of it was about her and anyas friendship. Some people were hating on her for being with Henry and being best friends with anya which is so stupid.

anyachalotra The best person around 💕 @your_username

joeybateyofficial The kindest person I had ever met. You're a lucky man and she deserves to smile like that everyday

henrycavill thanks man 💙

freyaallan Will never forget the day I met you, you were so supportive, kind and sweet and not a single day goes by when you are anything but that 😘💕

hoeforhenry Makes me so sad to see this post. And then you look at the amazing comments and Yn hasn't replied to any of them, probably because she's too upset to come on here now. Wishing you the best ❤️

↳ henrycavill She's taking a little break. Appreciate the support though 👍🏼 and so does Yn

laurenhissrich I will always remember when I met Yn, we spoke about her obsession with the Witcher books and games and she told me that she was beyond excited for the show to come out. She said that from what Henry had told her she knew she was going to love it and love our interpretation of it. Since that day she has showed me and everyone working on this project, nothing but support and love, she is always the first to be complimentary and honest and she deserves the very best 💜🤗

fanofhenry These comments are so adorable. Everyone just telling there own stories of her 💜 the haters can f off

your_username:

your_username

My wonderful Henry and my amazing best friend Anya. Nobody will make me feel bad for having these two gems in my life. Thank you everyone who sent me lovely messages and comments. The support means the world to me and I’ll never forget it

Liked by henrycavill, anyachalotra and 653,271 others

View all 45,893 comments

henrycavill Proud of you my love

anyachalotra Stay positive and remember you are the best

fan8 So glad she’s back on here now, the haters are rude and nasty and their comments are ridiculous. This is the perfect trio right here

your_username Glad to be back! Thanks for this sweet comment

219 notes · View notes

dolokhoded · 4 years ago

Note

I feel the need to tell you that today has been not awesome and you being chaotic is a light in the dark. That said if spromeo had superpowers (whether the rest of the gang does or not is up to you) headcanons on what would happen

!!!! i'm rlly glad to hear my 3am dumbassery has lead to some good :) i hope tomorrow goes better for u, i'm always here if u need a virtual headpat

as for spromeo!!!!!! y'all y'all y'all!!!!!!!!!!!

idk if i've posted about this au here but i actually have an au where everything is the exact same except all of the newsies gave superpowers and it actually started out with spromeo

but that was two years ago so i think it's time to get into that again

i'm doing modern era this time, just for a change from the old one

SO SPROMEO,,

ok let's take it from the top

romeo's power is charmspeak

because of course it is

he actually shares that power with mush and kath but they all use it differently

kath can make any lie she says seem believable and mush is pretty good at the traditional witchy-type hypnosis, while romeo can just mess with people's minds and emotions a little

and obviously he's especially good at making people fall in love with him

well, not really, it's just a temporary infatuation but it feels like they're in love with him

does he use that to get out of conflict like every three days uhhhhhh perhaps

which specs just goes "no ❤️" on because SURPRISE SURPRISE

specs' power is literally just being galaxy brain

and he's also touched up his glasses a bit so now they may or may not be able to shoot lazers

but that's besides the point

the point is, romeo's still learning

which means he cannot mess with specs' big brain power, nor understand him

and this also creates a contrast between them because romeo, being able to manipulate people's emotions can also feel them way more intensely

while specs, using the biggest part of his brain for logical thinking does not perceive them that well

and also they constantly made him feel like this was the only part of his brain that made him valuable so he never thought paying attention to anything else was worth it but anyways

now in canon era they'd still live in the lodging house and no one would know about this

but of course in modern era people would look into that stuff way more so all of those children are under training so none of them like,,, turn evil and start the apocalypse or something

and by these children i mean all of the newsies, i've thought out all of their powers but this ain't about them this is about spromeo

finch is dead

specs and romeo didn't get along at first

which was expected, they thought very differently and once got into a huge argument when finch died

romeo wanted to skip training after what happened, specs insisted that it just meant they should train harder so that nothing like this happens again

listen,,,,, specs isn't a bad person. but he didn't really understand empathy at this point.

so when romeo opened up to him mid-argument about how he felt about literally the death of his friend,,,,,,,,,,, specs may or may not have said "i don't care"

and then everyone got mad at him and he was like "ok hm let's see what we have here social experiment"

"why are you all mad at me?"

",,,,, specs are you insane?? because of what you said to romeo"

"so romeo should be mad at me"

"we're mad because you made him feel bad, and we care about him"

"bad? so he's, like, angry?"

"no, not angry, specs, have you ever felt an emotion?"

",,, irritated?"

he learns

he just needed some time to do it

but in the end, he learns

and of course who better to help him through this than romeo

at first he did not like it

"isn't he, like, a genius or something, let him do it himself! why do i have to deal with him?"

"you're not dealing with him, romeo, he's our friend. specs doesn't know how to interpret emotions and you do, i know you've had your issues but this gives you a chance to talk all of that out too"

"f i n e"

so slowly, they find out what brings out emotion in specs

romeo helps him realize what makes him happy, what makes him sad, what he's scared of, and specs technically knew how brain chemicals worked but he never actually knew what it looked like in practice

romeo will tell specs what he's feeling out loud so specs can identify it easier in other people

oh!! romeo is neurodivergent bc of course he is, and that combined with his powers means he stims pretty often

and one day specs asks him about it

"why do you do that?"

"what?"

"that shakey thing you do, is it a feelings thing?"

"oh, yeah, kind of. sometimes when something good happens i get overwhelmed, and i just do it, i guess. or when i get, like, bad overwhelmed."

"and how can you tell if it's good or bad?"

"well, from context, i suppose. and i'll also look uncomfortable if it's bad. but if it's good i'll look happy"

"so now you're happy?"

"yeah."

"oh. good. i like when you're happy, ro."

romeo's really proud of the progress he's made

specs is doing pretty well, he's literally had to teach his brain to feel human emotions

and OH BOY WHEN SPECS REALIZES HE HAS FEELINGS FOR ROMEO

specs.exe has stopped working

normally he talks to romeo about these things but he had no idea what this is so he goes to race instead cause we all know race is th king of chaotic emotions and he's currently feeling a very chaotic emotion

and race fuckin McLaughs at him

but in a good way dw

"specs you're gay."

",,,,, you're gay."

"yes, i am, but you're a little gay too."

",,,,,,,i have gay feelings for romeo?"

"i'm afraid so"

now specs didn't know he could have gay feelings

so his first thought it "romeo used his powers on me"

so he just fuckin

marches into the bunk room walks up to romeo

"you are unbelievable

romeo has literally no idea what's going on

"wh,, what did i do,"

"we agreed we wouldn't use our powers on each other, and you did! why would you do that?"

"specs, what are you talking about?"

his power is literally mainly to make people fall in love with him

but he can't use that on specs?? even if he tried?? so he's confused for a second

mush is having an aneurysm in the back

and then this bitch realizes,,,,

"holy shit specs did you just confess to me?"

"i- wh- that doesn't count! you did that!"

"i did not! dude, you know i physically can't use my powers on you, right? your brain's far more developed than an average human being's!"

specs just stares for a second

",,,,,,,,,so these are real gay feelings"

"yup"

"well this is embarrassing"

romeo just smiles at him and his chest starts doing the gay feeling again

"you know, for the smartest person on earth you're really fucking stupid. i like you too. with real gay feelings."

and specs just kinda

"o h"

mush is still losing it in the back

"KISS HIM YOU FOOL"

so he does

💞they kith💞

and they're rlly happy together

and do all the cute superpower shit

specs will lecture romeo on being more careful every time he gets hurt on some mission while he's patching him up and romeo just sits there only half listening and looking at him like

they're in love

#spromeo #they're just in love ok <3 #nothing bad even happens to spromeo #newsies #specs newsies #romeo newsies #newsies hcs

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an-absolute-travesty · 4 years ago

Text

Secret Santa fic!

Heya @all-eternity it was me all along! I hope you enjoy this :) very much looking foward to actually being able to follow you after this without looking sketchy lmao

Also shoutout to my lovely beta reader @keepersandqueens as if I don’t talk about Salas enough here lol

Warnings: underage drinking, drinking in general, hangover, drugs/medication mention (not abused, basic over the counter stuff dw), mentions of vomit (not described)

Pairings: Kam, background marelinh, ex titz

About: Kam coffee shop college au

Word count: 5,205

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added or removed): @cadence-talle @ruewen-and-rising @lemontarto @a-lonely-tatertot @clearlyvacksen @percabetn @sewersewersewercouch @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @enbies-and-felonies @blxckh0les42 @rainbowtay-11 @callas-starkflower-stew @impostertamsong @appalyneinstitute1 @stars-and-splendor @anna-without-an-e @mistythegenderqueermess @we-have-no-bananas-today @we-wont-dissapear @jadenightthewriter

Tam stumbled into his first 8 am class, anxiety making his heart feel like it was pounding out of his chest and stomach doing backflips.

If he could survive bouncing between foster homes, a short stint at juvie, and worst of all high school, he could survive college.

Well he thought he could until he saw a familiar person right next to the only available chair in the room.

God fucking damn it.

"Hey Bangs Boy!" Keefe waved him down, causing a scene. Tam had no option but to sit beside him, both because of the lack of chairs and the fact that everyone was now staring at him.

Not a great start.

"What a coincidence! I notice you still haven't taken my suggestions on your hair, I'm telling ya' you'd get all the girls and or guys and nonbinary pals with a man bun." Keefe looked smug at the fact he'd be able to taunt Tam for another semester, minimum. Tam was already making a mental note to check when he could swap out of classes.

"Keefe, if I knew you were going here I would've just gotten myself back in jail, oh wait, you were the one who got me in there in the first place." Tam shot him a look, praying that he'd suddenly develop superpowers and shoot lasers from his eyes.

"Hey, just because I came up with the idea...and helped with some of the execution, doesn't mean I'm responsible for you trashing your parents house. Besides, you were only in there for like 3 days max before you got out," Keefe said, shrugging as if 3 days in jail was no biggie.

"Most peaceful 3 days of my life," Tam sneered, turning back to the front of the room as the professor walked in.

"Good morning class!" the prof turned to the white board, writing his name. "I am Dr. Harding," he tapped it for emphasis.

The class was silent.

"And you say good mor..."

"Good morning Dr. Harding," The class said in unison, they all sounded tired and bored.

This wasn't going to be fun.

~*~

"Grande ice vanilla latte for...Hen-are-y?"

The man shot Keefe a look as he grabbed his coffee.

"Henry." He dropped a tip in the jar, fifty cents. How generous.

He had come in before, and never left good tips. Keefe made it a game to pronounce the names of anyone who wasn't a college student and left bad tips wrong, no matter how much they came in. It was a wonder he hadn't been fired yet.

As he turned preparing another drink, the bell at the top of the door rang. He ignored it at first until he heard a quiet, "Fuck," come from behind.

"Bangs boy!"

"Why are you here?"

"I work here obviously," Keefe walked up to the counter. "Now, what'll it be?"

Tam sighed. "Iced caramel macchiato with two extra shots of espresso."

"Size?"

"Venti."

Keefe whistled thinking about how much caffeine that was as he wrote down "Bangs Boy" on the cup.

"Alright, that'll be 5.75, may I ask why the insane amount of coffee? I believe I remember you saying caffeine makes you anxious in high school."

"Yes, but it also helps me focus, and I have a quiz tomorrow I haven't studied for."

"Fair enough," Keefe said, going to prepare the drink. "It'll be ready in five."

Tam nodded, walking off to the side and scrolling on his phone. Keefe made the drink, occasionally sneaking looks over at Tam. He didn't seem to notice, thank God.

Soon after, they finished the transaction.

"See you at class," Keefe said, he was trying to be genuine, but it came across more taunting.

Tam grimaced, muttered "Thanks for the coffee," and walked out the door.

~*~

The class fell silent as a disheveled Dr. Harding walked in, a pack of gatorade in one hand and bottle of tylenol in the other. He popped one as he sat down.

"Hello class it seems today I have the worst headache imaginable, just give me about 5 minutes of silence and we will go over your assignments."

Keefe leaned over to Tam's desk.

"Well, we know what he got into last night," he whispered. "Heard the bar on the corner of 5th was giving out two for ones for professors."

"Isn't that place run by the alumni?"

"Exactly. Gotta thank Alvar tomorrow, Fitz said it was his idea."

"Wait Fitz goes here too? Why did I not-"

"Boys!" Dr. Harding practically yelled. "I am tired of the racket." He put his face in his hands where his elbows rested on the desk, bald spot showing to the world.

"We were whispering!" Keefe made a 'what the hell' sort of gesture. Tam glared at him, hoping he could communicate 'I will kill you myself if you say another word' with just his eyes.

"Sencen, do I look like I care?"

Keefe winced a bit at the use of his last name. That was something Tam could understand.

"Look, boys," Dr. Harding stood up and turned to the chalkboard, writing something down. "If you all like talking so much, you'll love this next project."

He walked to the side, revealing the board, that read '10 page essay, due the 25th'

"With the person next to you, you'll be writing a 10 page essay on um...the importance of keeping your oil changed in your car. You'll then present it to the class. It's worth 25 points."

A student raised their hand.

"Luka?"

"Sir, I thought this was a psychology course?"

"It is. You are all excused."

With that, he left the room with his tylenol and gatorade in his arms. The students glared at Keefe and Tam as they all got up, muttering amongst themselves about the pure bullshittery of it all.

"So..." Keefe said, slowly standing. "Does the library tomorrow at 3 work? I have work until then, so it can't be any earlier."

"Yeah, sure." Tam promptly walked out of the classroom as fast as possible, he didn't know why but his anxiety was spiking. He tried to tell himself it was just because he was a useless gay that didn't know jackshit about cars, yeah, surely that was it.

Just a useless gay.

~*~

Tam waited at a table in the library, it was 3:05, Keefe was late.

He didn't know what else he expected from him, he always seemed to do stuff like this. At the same time, Tam didn't have the energy to be particularly mad at him. This was going to be the stupidest essay ever written in the history of man, might as well put it off.

The library door slammed open, and in came Keefe. He balanced a large stack of papers and books along with four drinks. He stumbled over to Tam and practically threw them down on the table.

"Sorry I'm late, I thought it would be nice to, like, get you a coffee, but I didn't know how much caffeine you wanted, so I got one decaf caramel macchiato, one normal, and one with an extra shot, and also hot chocolate for me."

He sat down in the chair by Tam, as if getting three different coffees for someone you were forced to do a project with was totally normal.

"Um...thanks, I-I can pay you back-"

"Don't worry about it." Keefe turned to him and smiled, bright and friendly. Tam was frozen. "Okay, now it's car time." Keefe turned back to the desk.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a while as they researched, Keefe going through his piles of papers and books and Tam on his laptop like any sane person would.

Tam finally worked up the nerve to talk.

"So um...this is out of nowhere, but I think you mentioned Fitz went here?"

"Oh, yeah." Keefe put down the absurdly large textbook that was set up in front of him. "He's my roommate, he uh thought it would be best not to tell you after everything, I guess."

"That's fine," Tam shrugged like he didn't care. "I'm over it."

He was, really. They only dated like 2 weeks, sure it ended with a...pretty big fight after Fitz claimed he wouldn't be able to date someone who had gone to jail and Tam reminded him it was his best friend that got him in there in the first place, but he was still over it. There was still something bothering him, nothing to do with Fitz himself but...something. He just couldn't put his finger on what.

"Alright, I'll take your word." Keefe shrugged, setting his giant book back up in front of him.

Tam felt the need to start talking again, but didn't. They were mostly silent for the next 40 minutes or so, just researching and the occasional word exchanged between them.

Keefe checked his phone.

"Shit," He got up. "Work emergency, I gotta go. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah that works."

"Chill, see ya' later."

"Bye."

Keefe waved (with a wide grin Tam would've called idiotic in high school) as he went out the door.

Tam found himself with a smile on his own face, he quickly stopped, hoping no one saw.

~*~

Keefe hurried into work, pulling his apron on as he saw the absurdly long line and a panicked Marella frantically making coffees behind the counter. She sighed with relief when she saw him.

"Thank God," She said as he stepped behind the counter with her. "There was a scheduling error, Forkle's useless at that stuff."

Mr. Forkle, their well-meaning but often mistaken manager, was out of town at the moment. The fate of the Starbucks rested on two college kids, what could go wrong.

And so they went, Keefe taking orders and Marella fulfilling them until there were no more to serve.

Marella, quite literally, threw in a towel she had wiped her face with. Promptly going to the back, presumably for her break. Keefe followed her.

"Alright, I think you can probably go back to whatever you were doing before this now if you'd like," said Marella, inspecting the small braids in her hair in the nearest shiny surface.

"Nah I was just doing a project with Tam for Harding's stupid class, he's probably left by now, I might as well rack up some overtime."

Marella turned back at him, clearly caught off guard at the name.

"Tam? As in my-girlfriend's-brother Tam? As in you-had-a-massive-crush-on-in-highschool Tam? As in dated-Fitz Tam? As in you-got-him-in-jail-"

"Yes! Yes! Why does everyone remind me of that, it was one time."

"When you get someone in jail, people tend to remember," Marella went silent for a second, thinking, before looking Keefe in the eye. "Wow, that must be awkward as hell, I mean seriously, if I were you I'd straight up file a restraining order just to avoid him. Maybe move to another country. I hear Estonia is lovely this time of year."

"Eh, it's not as bad as it seems. I mean it was awful at first, mostly because I tried to resume right where we left it on the taunting front, but I think it's ok now."

"Hm. Well good luck with that," Marella turned back to go to the front, but Keefe grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Uh, actually I need your advice on something. It has to do with Tam."

"Shoot."

"Well I was thinking of maybe, I don't know, asking him out or something? Look, yeah, it's an awful idea but is it 'he never wants to talk to me again' awful or 'he attempts to strangle me' awful?"

Marella looked him up and down, eyes uncomfortably cold, as usual.

"I mean, no hetero, but despite your annoying qualities you're a decent looking guy. Plus Tam's, like, super anxious according to Linh, so maybe he'll be too awkward to say no. You can probably squeeze at least one date in there."

"Wow, thanks Mare," Keefe mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I try. Also don't call me Mare."

"Alright Ella!" Keefe called as the front door's bell rang, signalling a new customer. Marella went off to take care of it, unable to respond she growled back at him.

~*~

Tap tap tap tap tap.

Tam glared from across the table.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

Keefe looked up, muttered a simple "Fidgety" and went right back to it, tapping his pen against the table. Tam said nothing more.

Keefe had been quiet for this entire meeting, something highly unusual for him.

"Ok, seriously dude, what's up? I haven't seen you this quiet literally ever."

He only seemed to get more fidgety at this question, his bouncing leg shaking the library table.

"I...um..." he looked down, running a hand through his hair "I have a test I need to cram for and no one to study with and keep me accountable. Y'know, ADHD issues."

Tam didn't overthink for once in his life but the moment the sentence was out of his mouth he regretted it.

"I have a test too, maybe we could study together?"

Keefe smiled his annoyingly charming smile.

"Sounds good."

"Good."

Tam quickly looked back down at his computer, trying to look like he was still doing car research when in actuality he was processing he just actively offered to spend more time with Keefe Sencen.

If Linh found out about this he'd never live it down.

He didn't think he cared.

~*~

Dr. Harding walked through the classroom door, clearly much less hungover than his last appearance.

The students waited, would they get an apology? Any sort of remorse?

"Alright, who wants to read first?"

Apparently not.

Keefe raised his hand with too much confidence for what their essay looked like. Tam gave him a confused look. He had his scheming face on, never good.

"Mr. Sencen!" Keefe winced at the use of his last name by the doctor. "What an amazing start, it's only appropriate. One of you boys come up and present."

Tam gave Keefe a look of 'do you want me to do it?' Keefe just smiled and got up from his chair. This would either be really good or really, really bad. Tam was all too familiar with the scheme face.

"Doc, I did depart from the source material a bit here, hope you don't mind. And I use 'I' because Tam had no involvement in this, he deserves full points for his essay."

Keefe cleared his throat, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Doctor Harding deserves to get fired: an essay. (And it's only been a week!) Paragraph one, his drinking problem-"

"Sencen! Back to your seat now. I will see you after class, or I will not see you in my next class, understand?"

Keefe gave a thumbs up as he sat back on his chair with a thud.

A few minutes later, in the middle of another student's essay, he passed Tam a note with his loopy handwriting.

"The amount of comebacks I had for 'see me after class' is absurd but if I get kicked out there's no way Elwin is helping me pay tuition a second time."

Tam tried not to smile, certainly failing, as he wrote his response.

"Yeah I think the time you talked back to Miss Cadence she wanted to expel you. Lucky Principal Alina had a thing for pseudo-dad Alden."

"Oh God I haven't talked to him in a whiiiiiile."

"?"

"You haven't heard? Yeah, he sorta found out like ALL his kids were ell gee bee tees and freaked out. Della found herself a new gf though!"

"Sounds like a lovely extra punch in the gut for a queerphobe."

"Yep. Honestly I recommend looking through his Facebook sometime. Just a million rants about how the gays destroy everything, great entertainment."

"Duly noted."

At that point it seemed like the doctor started to take notice of their note passing, and they stopped quickly. Tam wouldn't be surprised if he did the whole high school read in front of the class thing with the way he had been acting so far.

Tam was 100% sure tenure was the only thing keeping this guy's job intact. Apparently being a drunk asshole wasn't near enough to get a person out of their position. He tried to ignore the professor's annoyingly smug face for the rest of the class.

~*~

Keefe sat in his usual spot at the library, Tam sitting across from him, his brown eyes dancing across the textbook page and lips mumbling along the words. He didn't have much to do, often finding himself just staring at Tam, quickly looking away if he seemed to notice.

Eventually he sighed, sitting back.

"Ugh, this test is in a week and I have so much other crap to do, I'll never get this all memorized by Friday."

Keefe silently thanked his brain for managing to get around the having to study thing. Yay, photographic memory!

"Oh, uh, well I'm free to study more tomorrow if that would help? We could do, like, flashcards or something."

Tam seemed to repress a smile. He did that a lot. Keefe always noticed.

"That's okay, I'm sure you have better things to do. The Starbucks is always pretty packed."

"Eh, sometimes you have to get away from Marella. She's mean to me."

"Not just you, once she told me if I ever made fun of Linh's cat's name again she'd make me cut off my own bangs."

Keefe nodded sagely. "The shorter you are the closer to hell. That's why you're worse than her."

"Hey!"

Tam flicked a stray rubber band at Keefe.

"I'm at least 2 inches taller than Marella...we measured."

Keefe thought up about 12 inappropriate jokes he couldn't make before flicking the rubber band back.

"Two inches only counts in roller coasters, none of which you can ride."

Tam stuck his tongue out before returning to his studies. Unlike Tam, Keefe didn't hide his smile.

~*~

Tam strolled into the Starbucks that Friday morning, no longer surprised to see Keefe working the counter. He could barely hold still in line as he thought about the amount of cramming he'd have to do in the next few hours.

When he reached the counter, Keefe said nothing, just busily worked making a drink.

He stuck it right out at Tam.

"One venti iced caramel macchiato with 2 extra shots of espresso because you have a test today in political science and still haven't studied everything and also a muffin because you probably haven't eaten today. On the house. Good luck with the studying."

Tam froze.

"I- um- th-thaks. Y-you too...sport."

Oh, you fucking idiot.

He quickly scurried out of the Starbucks with drink and muffin in hand. Wow, he had screwed that up.

But...

Keefe...

He...

He remembered his order and that he had a test and that he forgot to eat when he was stressed holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Okay, deep breaths Tam, you got this. You can totally handle a frustratingly cute guy showing care for you this is fine...

Not fine, not fine, gotta tell Linh.

He called Linh with no forewarning. Despite the fact that she was currently across the country at a different university, and it was about 3 am for her, she picked up. He barely let her get out a groggy "Hello?" before explaining everything. She only seemed to think a moment before responding.

"Hm. Well it's good to know that college is going good for you. Do you need advice or comfort?"

"Yes."

"Well, first of all, everything's gonna be okay. And I know that doesn't help much but just try to remember we're eighteen, and it's not the end of the world. Second of all, try to ask him out or something. It doesn't have to be framed as a date, like Marella and I got together on a walk in the park, seriously it can be anything."

"Thanks Linh."

"No problem, also can you hug Marella for me?"

"If she doesn't try to kill me first, yes."

"Nice. Okay go do what you gotta do, also don't wake me up at 3 am again or else I'll sic Purryfins on you, I had just gone to bed."

With that she hung up and Tam continued on his way, still trying to not completely freak out.

~*~

Keefe stared blankly as Tam walked right out of the door. Marella appeared by his arm.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Well, he called me 'sport'."

Marella inhaled through her teeth.

"Yikes. Comfort, advice, or distraction?"

"Distraction, please." Keefe replied, absent-mindedly preparing a cup for the next customer.

"Uh, well I meant to ask you what ended up happening with that ass of a teacher, but I got a bit distracted at your attempt to woo Tam-"

"Hey I said distraction not reminder. But basically I just got a slap on the wrist because, and I quote, 'Your father is Cassius Sencen! He wrote half the books we use in this class, I'm sure he can straighten you out!'"

"There's absolutely nothing papa Sencen could do to make you straight, I'm pretty sure he tried that, and it obviously didn't work."

"He actually tried a few times and it most definitely did not. Lucky he doesn't have my number anymore or else I assure you he'd keep trying."

Marella laughed.

"Well, moving on from grade A assholes, I'm supposed to tell you there's a party tonight. I'll have to send you the address later, I have it on my phone though, I am told there's gonna be booze, so I'm going."

"Eh, I'll probably go. Just to get my mind off everything."

"Thata boy." She lifted her phone. "And my shifts over in three, two, one, and I am out of here! See ya' tonight Hunkyhair."

"That's Lord Hunkyhair to you."

She just rolled her eyes and clocked out, leaving Keefe to deal with both the customers and his own thoughts.

~*~

Tam sat in his dorm room alone, constantly refreshing his grades for the possibility that his 70-year-old professor would post the test results at 1:30 am.

His roommate was gone for the weekend, actually he was gone most of the time. Tam didn't think they'd even had a full conversation before.

He jumped as his phone began to ring, a call from Keefe of all people. He hesitantly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Tam! Tam Tam Tam Tam Tam" Keefe's slurred speech was too loud for a phone call, Tam held his phone a bit away from his ear. "...fuck wait why did I call you..."

There was a long pause, neither said anything.

"Oh yeah! I needed to tell you something...but uh I uhm I forgot what it was."

"Keefe, where are you?"

"At a paaaaaarty, well, actually just outside a party because it was hot in there, but now it's cold out here so uh yeah."

Tam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, send me the address, I'm coming to pick you up. Wait right there and don't move."

"Okie dokie."

Tam heard a thud sort of sound and the rustling of grass from the other line before Keefe hung up and soon after got a message of his location.

After 20 minutes of walking in the cold, Tam came up to what seemed to be a frat house with Keefe sitting on the lawn in criss-cross, patiently waiting in short sleeves and basketball shorts, way too little clothing for the weather. His ruddy face smiled as he saw Tam approach.

"Tam! I remembered what I was going to tell you." He stood up, face falling right after. "Oh no wait I forgot again. Ooh! You need a drink."

Keefe grabbed Tam's hand, pulling him towards the house. Tam stayed in place.

"Hey, let's get you home dude."

Keefe pouted.

"I don't wannaaaa."

He slouched down, pulling on Tam's arm like a child having a tantrum.

Tam pulled him back up to his feet.

"C'mon, if you go to your dorm without fuss I'll buy you ice cream tomorrow."

Keefe seemed much more ok with going along with Tam with the ice cream deal. He pulled off his own coat and placed it around the very drunk boy, he didn't complain.

Keefe began humming some annoying song from the early 2000s that was playing from the house earlier as they walked back in the direction of the dorms.

Suddenly, Tam remembered something.

Fitz was Keefe's roommate.

Shit.

"Hey uh do you think Fitz is at your dorm?"

Keefe nodded confidently.

"Yep! Said he was gon' study. Wouldn't come to the party because of his 'reputation' or whatever."

Around reputation he did exaggerated finger quotes, nearly knocking Tam's jacket off his shoulders.

"Hm...in that case let's go to my dorm, ok?"

Keefe shrugged, apparently willing to go along with most things in his current state. Thank goodness Linh had made Tam bring extra pillows and blankets to college, he could sleep on the floor and just hope Keefe didn't get sick on him in the night.

It was ridiculously hard to lead Keefe back to his dorm. He tried to pull down his pants halfway there and Tam almost had to carry him up the stairs but soon enough they got there. He sighed with relief as he led his inebriated friend into the room.

"Okay, you can stay here for the night. I'll sleep on the floor."

Keefe plopped himself down on Tam's bed laying flat for only a moment before sitting up with a snap and a look of realization in his eyes.

"OOH! I remember what I was gonna tell you again!"

"Oh?" Tam said playing along, expecting him to forget again.

He patted the spot next to him on the bed, Tam continued to play along, sitting next to him.

"So Marella said that I should just tell you this, and it worked for her, so I'm gonna. And uh and you have to promise to listen 'cause I'm not sayin' it again."

At this point Keefe grabbed his face with both hands, staring right in Tam's eyes and squishing his cheeks.

"You're listening right?"

Tam nodded, mostly to shake Keefe's hands off his face.

"Okay."

Keefe took in an over dramatic breath as if he was preparing to preform in the Olympics before getting another grin on his face.

"I really like you."

"You really like me?"

He nodded mumbling "mhm".

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I like you. Like, like like you."

"Like...as a friend?"

"I said I wasn't gonna repeat myself. As a booooyfriend." At this point Keefe fell back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Tam's cheeks were burning.

"How long have you liked me like that?"

"Mmmm..." Keefe seemed to ponder for a moment, "Prolly high school."

"Oh um...good to know. You should get some rest. I'll be down here if you need me."

"Alrighty."

Tam shut off the lights and Keefe started snoring quick. Tam could only stare up in the darkness, unable to sleep.

~*~

Keefe woke up that morning in a room he didn't recognize to a killer headache and dead phone.

He turned to the side, seeing a pile of blankets and pillows with a large gatorade, bottle of tylenol, and a note next to it. Suddenly last nights memories came flooding back.

Oh, shit.

He scrambled out of bed, headache and nausea hitting him harder as he stood up.

Despite the fact his head was spinning, he picked up the note from the ground and read it.

Hey, meet me at the reservoir around 6, we need to talk -Tam

F. U. C. K.

Had he really said all that stuff last night? Surely it was a dream, right?

Oh God.

He gathered his few belongings, plus the things to help the hangover, and left the dorms as fast as possible. Only having to stop once along the way to throw up in one of the campus trash cans, hopefully no one would notice.

Keefe didn't have anything to do and he really didn't want to face Fitz so he went about his day in last nights clothing. Then again, it was a college campus. Someone walking around with rumpled clothes carrying a gatorade probably wasn't that big of a deal for most people. By 5:30 he sat impatiently in the empty park where the reservoir was located, it was colder closer to the water.

Just as promised, at 6 o'clock he saw Tam approaching on the horizon.

~*~

Tam was damn near a panic attack as he walked around the park attempting to find Keefe. Eventually he found him, sitting on a bench still in his clothes from last night, face once again ruddy from the cold. He sat next to him wordlessly.

"So," Keefe started.

"So," Tam replied, looking down at his lap.

"Tam I-" Keefe turned to face him. "I'm sorry about everything last night, I probably just made everything super awkward. Not to mention it's a giant violation of the friend code to even have a crush on your best friend's ex-"

"Yeah, about that."

"What?"

"You're gonna maybe kill me for this but uh," Tam pulled on his bangs. "I sorta talked to Fitz about it, I figured you wouldn't and apparently I was right. He said he was okay with it as long as we were ok with it."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Tam sighed, "Perhaps."

Keefe once again wore that shit-eating grin of his.

"Can I hear you say it?"

"Why don't you have to say it?"

"Already said it last night! Your turn now. Why did you take care of me while I was drunk?"

Keefe stared at Tam excitedly waiting for the answer. Tam sighed.

"Because I love you, little shit."

"Ooh you said it-"

Tam smashed his lips against Keefe's, both quickly melting into it. After only a moment they pulled away.

"Agh, you taste like gatorade and vomit."

"Well you taste like salt so really what's worse."

"Definitely the vomit."

Despite this, Tam leaned back in. This kiss was a moment longer than the last, and when Tam pulled away Keefe chased it.

"Ok, look I'm sorry but you look like shit Keefe you have to go change." Tam removed his jacket, throwing it around Keefe once again and helping him up from the bench. Keefe laughed.

"Yeah, you're right. Ooh now that we're a thing you need a new nickname!"

"I do?"

"You do, how about 'Bangs Boyf' ooh or maybe you can be my 'provoked partner' or my 'snappy spouse' my 'agitated accomplice' perhaps."

"Do you just have these ready and prepared for any situation?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"You aren't Houdini, you're an 18-year-old boy that currently reeks of frat party."

"Eh that's basically the same thing. I've seen some 18-year-olds at frat parties preform tricks Houdini could never dream of."

Tam sighed dramatically. "It's a good thing you're pretty, you know."

"Hey!" Keefe jokingly shoved him.

For the first time Tam's smile wasn't repressed.

#hope you like this elliot!#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kam #keefe sencen #tam song #kotlc fic #scheduled to post at 9 am and ill reblog once i get back to my phone because ill be doing x-mas stuff

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