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octoberautumnbox · 4 months ago

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Orange-Tinted Sunset

Kiss of Life Belle & Male Reader

Categories/warnings: fluff, smut, angst, mentions of alcohol n bein drunk, technically not cheating but also sorta close enough idk u be the :jujj:

Word count: 2.6k

a/n: another prompt fic! based on kiof's Nothing i swear im on hiatus lmao but here it is! thanks to @mintwithchoco for prompt and hosting! as well as @sinswithpleasure for beta and @0cta9on for saying i was good at everything so i crode strove to prove em wrong lmao

~~~

The nightclub spun around you, the alcohol clouding your thinking and doubling your vision. A strange feeling set in–you really were a guppy in a small pond. Whatever roaring applause you got from the crowd after that impromptu karaoke bout was nothing compared to the girl that came next. You can’t even work up the energy to be mad; her voice is the single most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard, flowing through the air and filling up every silence in the world, and it doesn’t help one bit that everyone else thought so too.

Her name, just her name. You wouldn't mind going home with nothing to show for the whole weekend as long as you knew what she was called–you have to know. Against every single ounce of common sense you have left, you walk up to her, calling in every favor from the universe you’ve saved up until this point. “H-hey,” you stumble, clearly more nervous than you should be.

She turns around, and as her hair settles onto her back, she replies, “Oh, hi. Can I help you?” Her smile lights up your world, and you gain confidence and lose it again just as quickly. She’s gorgeous too, and how could you live with yourself if you fucked up with a girl like this again?

And you realize you’re staring. “Hi,” you start again, “sorry, I, uhh, you killed it up there. Best I've heard in a while.” Pardon yourself for the understatement; she was exceptional. Stop yourself from saying more; she’s probably already heard everything you want to tell her.

All she does is giggle in response, and you swear you’re face-to-face with a goddess. You slip, so just fall deeper and remember to blame the alcohol later on, “I mean it. You’re like nothing I’ve heard before. Can I ask for your name?”

Her face sours almost imperceptibly, but your nerves don’t let you miss it. She holds back a grimace, but ultimately, she replies, “It’s Belle. Sorry, is that all? I have to go soon.” She shifts in her chair, no doubt trying to escape the situation, and it dawns on you you might look worse than you feel.

“Y-yeah, that’s all. I actually wanted to buy you a drink, maybe. One musician to another. You were amazing.” Your voice holds together for the most part, but it doesn’t change her demeanor.

“Thank you, it’s just…” she hesitates, breathing deep, “whatever this is, I don’t want to get involved. You’re nice, but I just… I can’t handle anything else right now.” The discomfort leaves her features as a quiet sadness replaces it. You’re no expert, but even a dunce like you could tell she was tired more than anything else.

“No worries, I respect it. I’ll leave you alone.” It’s strange how you feel the lightheadedness drifting away and your senses coming back, almost like you’ve saved up quite a bit of good karma to ground yourself like this. Debatable, but you still have enough sense in you to offer, “Here’s my number, no hard feelings if you throw it away. I at least wanna buy you some nachos tonight as thanks for that gorgeous song. Good night, Belle,” before paying for them and ultimately heading for the door, above all trying in vain to forget about her.

~~~

It’s familiar in two ways, being hungover at noon, sitting in a restaurant too fancy for what you’d ever typically be found dead in. On one hand, it reminds you of one of the best days of your life–your beloved sat across from you in a simple floral sundress while you shared a brunch of French toast and orange juice.

“Thanks for coming out,” Belle said in a tiny voice, “I'm sorry about last night. I want to get to know you better.” She offers you a pancake, and once you accept she deposits it onto your plate, followed by a just-right helping of maple syrup.

You try to avoid sounding humble, but there’s no other way to put it. “There's not much to know, really. I just came here on a whim. Needed to get away from it all, broaden my horizons. Us singers just gotta, you know? If I didn't, I'd never have found you.”

“I hear you. I'm here to take a step back too. Things became too much to handle recently,” she relates as she takes careful bites of her cereal. For the first time since last night, you see each other's eyes, and a kindred spirit in you pulls on your heartstrings. It's an unspoken pain that's anything but obvious, and yet you see it in each other as clear as day.

“Fucking exes, right?” the pair of you say in unison. A hearty laugh escapes both of you, and afterwards the pancakes slide down a bit easier.

Belle calms herself first, “So you get how I was last night. I'm sorry, none of it was your fault.” You offer her a napkin and pour her another cup of ginseng tea, which she sips with an ethereal sort of grace once she finishes talking.

“Of course. I'm sorry too,” you sigh, picking at your scrambled eggs, “but at least we're recovering. I'm actually itching to write a new song once my hangover clears.”

“Me too, it’s just so freeing to let my feelings out onto songs. Plus all it costs is a pen and paper–much cheaper than therapy,” she agrees.

On the other hand…

~~~

“Blue palm trees?” she giggles. “What does that mean?”

The waves lap idly at your feet, scattering sand over your toes and hers. The calming ocean breeze washes over the both of you and weakly ruffles the paper she easily holds.

“It's called a hook, Belle. It captures the audience's attention, you should know this shit” you jab, drawing out more of her laughter. “Just let me be, okay? I'm the one with the pencil.”

She settles again, “Okay, okay, fine,” and sits back up straight. Another wave washes the sand away from the tops of your feet, dragging them back to the depths of the sea. In a split-second of feeling the grains slide off your skin and away with the water, you feel deep inside that maybe it'll be easier to walk again.

“You know,” she starts gently, “this isn't too bad. I came here determined to grow stronger, but I don't feel any different–just more of what I was before. And weirdly…” Belle pauses, taking a short glance at you, meeting your eyes.

You can't help it; she's just that beautiful. The orange-tinted sunset behind her offers her a halo of warmth and sincerity, and it captivates your whole being to be able to spend a moment like this again, when the world is just right, especially with her. The waterline reaches up to your soles once more, tickling the both of you and sprinkling new grains between your toes before drawing back and taking the old away.

“... Weirdly,” you continue for her, “I'm okay with that.” Your eyes never leave hers, and she stays, too. It takes a moment of serenity for you to finally let yourself think that this might be something more, that maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world to stay with a girl like her.

It takes a moment of serenity for you, but it seems like forever in an instant. Memories rush back like the ocean soaks the shoreline, swapping old sand with new, but you could never, can never, tell the difference. It's the same grains washing your feet, slipping between your toes, embedding themselves in your life so well that random moments like this bring you to the past when you least expect it. It reminds you of a history you'd give anything to forget: walking on a beach like this with a girl you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with–to an extent, you still do. How could you fuck up with a girl like that?

~~~

It's the worst gamble the both of you could take, and deep inside you knew there was no winning this. You felt it in your bones, from the beach to the elevator up until before you burst through her door with her, but the feeling is gone now, and for sure it’s gone for her too.

“Mmm, just like that,” she whispers straight into your ear. You swear you’ve never tasted anything as sweet as the sweat on her neck, so much so that you never want your lips to leave her. She pulls you closer as if she could, maybe only decreasingly aware that her back was up against the wall and that even grains of sand couldn’t breathe in the space between you two.

It takes no time at all, and you find yourself laid back and vulnerable on her mattress. Belle towers over you, straddling to keep you in place, as if you’d go anywhere. In a flash her shirt leaves her, then her shorts, and finally her underwear haphazardly thrown to the floor. Your own clothes follow even less ceremoniously, letting nothing get in the way of the woman of your dreams.

“Fuck, that’s good…” she says as she lowers herself onto your length. You relish in the feeling of sliding into her, pushing her walls apart all the while lewd confessions spill from her lips. Your hands find her hips and you grip her tight, guiding her up and down as she bounces on your cock, “You’re so fucking tight, Belle…” while she places her hands on your chest to support herself as she takes you inside her over and over again, “I can’t get enough of you… I need you so bad…” losing yourself in her love.

It’s the simplest thing to grab her wrists like this, to throw her onto the bed and fuck her yourself. She hits the mattress with a quiet thud, and without even a moment of respite you force everything into her again.

“Gnnhhh, shit, it’s so good, you’re so good…” she gasps and grunts with every thrust like it knocks the air out of her each time. The bed creaks under the two of you: she tries to pull you close again, so you indulge her and meet her where she is to kiss. Amidst your tongues dancing in each other’s mouths, she moans like her life depends on it, “Yes, yes, oh my god, yes–”

It’s the easiest thing to get lost in a girl like her. She’s perfect in every way you can think of–a smile to die for, a heart to protect, a body to worship. Each moment you bottom out in her, a spark goes off between your lips and hers, and it only pulls you in deeper, pulls you away farther from where you are. There’s nothing else to think about when you’re with a girl like this except her name and the way her body feels on yours. It’s so dreadfully incessant, unceasing in your head, that you thank your lucky stars you’re able to hold back most of your moans: Yuna, Yuna, Yuna, “Yuna…”

~~~

The sun blazes through the window and straight onto your eyelids, jolting you awake. The bed creaks as you bounce slightly on the mattress, your mind rushing to find your bearings, when right beside you, Belle stirs but then promptly falls back asleep.

A grave sense of guilt overtakes you, clawing from the pit of your stomach all the way up to the back of your throat. There's nothing to say to her, nothing to do, and you know it. How could you fuck up with a girl like this?

Your phone's alarm rings on a far-off table. Rush over to it, careful but quick so Belle doesn't wake. You knock over an ottoman in the process, but you're able to turn it off in time. Then it hits you: your flight leaves in a couple hours. There's no more time to think–gather your clothes and rush back to your own hotel.

“Hour and a half,” you think, “more than enough time to repack and go.” Your door crashes open and you heave your suitcase onto the bed, haphazardly throwing everything you own back into it. The zipper disagrees with you for a moment until you finally bend it to your will, albeit threatening its life in the process.

The cabbie drives as fast as he can legally go for you, apparently already knowing the protocol, and people and buildings whizz past in a giant blur. He drops you off soon enough, and with only minutes to spare and the gate calling you over the intercom, you board your plane. The cold of the seat comforts you and calms your nerves, and once the hurried energy leaves your body, all that's left is fatigue that demands to be addressed.

You scarcely notice the window beside you beyond pulling it shut. The cushions aren't as comfy as your bedding from the night before, but you can't attempt to complain in a state like this. You don't even feel your train of thought slipping away…

~~~

You’ve put it off long enough, the anxiety rending the lining of your stomach. In between your own calls and texts to Yuna you find yourself on the receiving end of the restlessness of your endlessly repeating ringtone and text notifications. You wait another few seconds to make sure she’s done, even tossing your phone onto your old bed to fetch a glass of water, before picking it back up and seeing the same number of messages. It's time.

hey, where'd you go? Belle, 8:46 AM

it's a nice song, I'll send it over in a bit. call me? Belle, 8:50 AM

I'm at the restaurant again lol come on over Belle, 9:02 AM

you're really gonna make me miss you huh? hahaha Belle, 9:33 AM

*2 missed calls*

this isn't funny. pick up Belle, 10:14 AM

*2 missed calls*

you're serious? so last night was nothing to you? Belle, 11:15 AM

*1 missed call*

wow, what a fucking piece of shit you are Belle, 11:17 AM

*4 missed calls*

is it something i said? Belle, 2:46 PM

let's just talk Belle, 3:30 PM

*2 missed calls*

just tell me what I did wrong please, I told you I can't handle this Belle, 3:37 PM

*8 missed calls*

don't do this to me Belle, 5:47 PM

*1 missed call*

fine asshole i don’t need you and fuck your song. Belle, 7:15 PM

don’t ever call me. Belle, 8:40 PM

The screen dims under your command. Your phone flies off into the folds of your bed once more, granting you your last moment of control. Belle finally stopped, and Yuna never made herself heard. At least one of you moved on.

You stand in your cold, empty bedroom, in the same dingy apartment you tried leaving behind. The same torn-up pages are scattered across the floor, the same stains on the carpet are there to step around, the same picture framed flipped down to hide the old photograph inside like grains of sand getting swept back up to you no matter how hard you try washing them away.

“It's another bottle tonight,” you decide in no time at all. Pull a cold one from the fridge, ignore the other bottles strewn across the room, take a seat at your desk. The lamp buzzes to life, and another sheet finds itself under your pen.

They never meet.

~~~

#kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #girl group smut #girl group fluff #girl group angst #kiss of life smut #kiss of life fluff #kiss of life angst #kiof smut #kiof fluff #kiof angst #kiof belle #kiss of life belle #i forgot to consider the tags when i wrote this #fic box

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fatuismooches · 2 years ago

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Hello!!! May i request how the habingers men act when they are drunk? How will the reader will take care of them? If you are not taking requests im very sorry you can decline my request

Imagine the Harbingers when they’re drunk.

Pierro is even more somber when drunk. It’s not like he does it on purpose, it just sort of happens. He does like to drink some wine to relax after many long days of work, but the idleness somehow always causes his mind to wander back to the old days, to before the Fatui. And he thinks. He ponders a lot and reminiscences about the past, how things could have been different. He has always been left alone with these wandering thoughts until you came along.

Don’t let the melancholic tone steer you away though. When Pierro drinks, he’s usually alone, but that’s not to say he doesn’t want you here. He’s been alone for as long as he could remember, even lonelier after the fall of his homeland. It was just natural for him to be this way. Having you there makes him unsure of what to do because he doesn’t want to make you sad, but please reassure him. Lay your head on his chest and put your hand on top of one. Tell him it’s okay, and it will always be okay, that you want to be here for the good and the bad, through everything. He’s silent, but Pierro appreciates your kindness so much more than he lets on. You don’t need to do much after that because your mere presence and warmth are more than enough for him as he strokes your hair until you fall asleep in his arms.

Dottore has a varying amount of emotions when he’s drunk. It really depends on which segment you’re talking to. The younger segments tend to get more argumentative with each other. The older ones are more mature and handle it better. With the younger segments, they’re a lot to handle, even more so when drunk. You’ve witnessed them throw stuff at each other, hurl some nasty words (about other people as well), and generally be gloomy at the end too. They can be immature and hotheaded compared to the older, calmer segments, but it’s honestly quite funny to witness. They just say the darndest things with the most humorous phrasing, sometimes gossiping about that one Harbinger who always cuts their funding. Thankfully, it doesn’t take much to placate them. The moment one of them starts to get pouty, you simply usher them into your embrace, successfully shutting him up. This has a domino effect, and soon you have a bunch of clones on your shoulders, hogging your lap, even against your legs.

Though, don’t expect the same outcome with the older clones, especially Omega and the original Zandik. Zandik has had his body modified to the point where such drinks do not have much of an effect anymore, and Omega is just… well, yeah, it takes far more than that to bother him. Zandik does not care for nutrition in general, much less alcohol, so you’ll rarely ever catch him drinking, but on the occasion you convince him to have a drink with you, he wouldn’t mind too much. It’s not as though he hates the taste. Though, a lot of it goes untouched because he tends to ramble on with his research and breakthroughs instead of drinking, so most of the time he ends up taking care of you.

Columbina gets even more clingy when drunk, if that’s even possible. While that aspect of her doesn’t change, she suddenly gains a lot more vigor. Normally she’s calm, eerily so, but it seems like the alcohol brings out a lot of laughing. The Fatui don’t know which side is scarier. She also has a very high tolerance and the recruits always watch in amazement as she downs bottle after bottle. She’s also the kind of girl who insists on refilling your drink. There’s not much you can really do than other go with her flow.

She’s very upbeat and giggly when drunk. Tugs you to your feet and twirls you around, giddily humming and swaying around with you until she dramatically falls back so you could catch her in your arms. Columbina has so much energy when inebriated that you wonder how she does it. But, always be on guard with this girl. She will stop all of a sudden, and then fall asleep and literally crash on top of you. The first time she did that you nearly had a heart attack as both of you were now on the floor, her body completely sprawled out on top of you. And she did not budge one inch. So you were stuck there until the next day when you woke up in the afternoon with her now in another weird position. But hey, there are not much people who have the opportunity to see the third Harbinger like this.

Capitano doesn’t drink very often. He sees it as unnecessary and more of a distraction from his duties than anything else. Even on the rare occasion he drinks, it’s not much to look at. The liquid just disappears behind the ever-present darkness that his helmet brings. You can’t see any blush, any smiles, any hazy eyes, nope. He has a high tolerance for quite literally anything so seeing him drunk is a tall order. If by any chance he does get drunk, which seems really impossible, Capitano gets a bit more clingy. When sober, although he does give a good amount of affection, it’s still a bit of a struggle for him. Because really, him? Of all people? Being soft? It’s still surreal to him and he’s still adjusting.

But on the rare occasion he’s tipsy, there’s a chance of him desiring such fondness, both giving and receiving. Normally, when sober, he gets a tad bit embarrassed and awkward when you shower him with love. But when he’s drunk, he’ll welcome it a lot more. Just silently though. He’ll always be a quiet man. He’ll return the favor with a strong embrace. He likes to hold you in his lap with an arm around your waist. For some reason, he likes to tilt the cup to your lips as if you can’t drink it yourself. He doesn’t really need to be taken care of, but it’s still cute nonetheless. Capitano prefers if you don’t bring up this experience. He’s honestly a bit mortified you saw him in such a disgraceful state. (You and Dottore definitely worked together to make this happen. There was no other way.) Then again, don’t get your hopes up too much. Your man is resistant to possibly every force in Teyvat.

Scaramouche doesn’t care much for alcohol. He is a puppet after all. The drink has no effects on him. And the taste doesn’t do much for him either, as he says it himself - he enjoys the taste of bitter tea far more. But, if you do manage to convince him, with all of his reluctance, he can’t deny that some sake and cherry blossom viewing is pretty nice. Although Inazuma brings up some distasteful memories for him, he can’t deny it’s beautiful. Kunikuzushi doesn’t talk about it, but he does have some warm memories regarding the drink. Sometimes, his family, his friends from all those years ago, would drink alcohol in celebration. The young puppet would watch in fascination and down all the bottles while his friends lay passed out in amazement. So really, despite all of his moaning and groaning, he won’t mind.

Even though Scaramouche doesn’t actually get drunk, you like to think he does from the way he acts around you. You have a tendency to drink more than you can handle so that you could see Scara reveal his secret affectionate side. Whining and slurring your words results in a lot of grumbling and eye-rolling from your lover, scolding you for your recklessness. But no one would ever believe you as he begrudgingly guides you to his lap, confiscating the sake cup. Rearranges his legs so you’re comfortable. Strokes your hair and brushes it away from your face, drunk on you. But then of course pinches your cheeks, earning a squeal and a few curses from you. After becoming the Wanderer, the taste is unsettlingly comforting for him. Perhaps because it was one of the things that began to connect you with him. Even if you can’t remember him anymore, he still likes to go to that same spot to enjoy some sake and the view.

Sandrone isn’t very much of a drinker. It distracts her from her work, and she’d much rather enjoy some tea and sweets too. So, it is going to be a long and arduous wait to see Sandrone drink, much less get drunk. That is until you recruit some of your favorite robots to oh, just innocently put a few drops of alcohol in her cup instead of tea. Luckily enough, she sips it without a thought. After all, there was no reason to be suspicious. She programmed these robots to obey her. The only thing is that she programmed them to listen to you too.

Please stop her from working. She’s been trying to unscrew this bolt from a robot for the last ten minutes and she still hasn’t realized she’s using the wrong screwdriver. Some Automatons may need to be enlisted for help but just get her away from that and into a chair. Sandrone huffs and puffs with a blushing face about how she’ll get revenge on you later, but you can’t really take her words seriously when she’s leaning on your shoulder so cutely. Her coat is off and her porcelain arms are intertwined with yours, her way of “punishing you.” You strive to get her tipsy more often in the future. At least she actually takes breaks that way. You’re so glad Sandrone built a Kamera into some of her creations because damn, it was really useful right now.

La Signora is a chatty drunk. She has the tolerance of a normal person, getting drunk after a good amount of refills. Many times she drinks to relieve some stress, as you have to listen to her complain about all the useless recruits and how unreliable her subordinates are most of the time. She always tells the best stories when drunk, always going into depth about how stupid this person was and how this person did that. It’s best not to interrupt or console her yet. She just wants to vent her frustrations right now.

How to take care of her? Just be a good lover by keeping her glass filled, her lap warm, and her boredom away. With all of the fuss she makes, she ends up winding down by the end of it to thoroughly enjoy your presence. Rosalyne gets very comfy during these sessions - hair flowing free from its usual bun, mask and makeup off, a silky nightgown adorning her body. She is a very tall yet soft lady, so her lap is much more suitable for sitting than any old chair would be, she tells you. Signora likes to have a firm grip on you, her hands playing with your hair as she swishes around the alcohol, her legs entangled with yours so you could not leave. Her voice tipsy and a bit slurred she’ll ask you about your day, what’s been going on, how she misses her lovely butterfly dearly. Anyone besides you would be shocked to know how sweet Rosalyne is as a partner. Experiencing love and loss changes a person more than what they show. So really, taking care of her means letting her take care of you.

Pantalone is a flirty drunk who has no problem telling you exactly what he thinks, very unfiltered. He is quite a charmer when sober, but alcohol turns up the flattery a hundred times more. A lot of times, the two of you have drinks together late into the night, after he is finally done with his paperwork and whatnot. Usually, it’s paired with an exquisite dinner. Of course, he only purchases and drinks the most expensive and delicious kinds of wine of course. Whenever he buys a new brand, he always does the same thing though, which you gladly welcome. Pantalone makes you take the first few sips, asks you how it is, and then kisses you to try for himself. You always playfully scold him but you can never be mad at that devilishly sweet smile.

Pantalone actually likes to be pampered and taken care of when he’s drunk. Brush his hair out, help him bathe and slip into his robes, tuck him under the blanket with you. More specifically, he likes when you read to him. While he can handle his liquor well enough, when he gets overly drunk, he gets quiet. You never pry into what exactly he thinks about, but after being with him for so long you can gather that he’s remembering his childhood. So, although his weight may crush you a bit, just let him lay on your chest for a while, stroke his hair while you talk, and take his glasses off once he’s asleep.

Arlecchino is a lightweight drinker. No one has ever seen her drink and it is because of that. She would rather die than have anyone witness her being drunk. She has only a few weaknesses, the most out-of-place ones being you and alcohol. Normally you wouldn’t mind, but it gets to be a bit awkward when you’re drinking and she’s just there with her cold hard coffee. Even during a relationship with you, she’s still adamant about not drinking. Arlecchino is serious about not appearing vulnerable in front of you. She doesn’t want you to think about her any differently.

She’s super observant too, so there’s not really going to be a chance of swapping her drunk. Perhaps if you beg and plead with her she could have just a cup with you. It is endearing to see her so unguarded and cute in front of you, but her lack of tolerance ends up cutting the quality time you have with her. There’s really not much you’re going to do when she’s drunk. Arlecchino tends to hiccup when drunk along with some intoxicated mumblings. Generally, she falls asleep rather quickly, so just cover her with a blanket and make sure no one enters her office. Otherwise, they’d have to die.

Childe is a happy drunk with a good amount of tolerance, so it’s a bit hard to see him actually get drunk, but it is certainly possible. He is instead the kind of person who tries to convince you to drink Fire-Water with him because he enjoys your drunk blabbering. He loves to bring up the things you said while drunk to embarrass you. While drunk he loves to chat and catch up with you, but he also tends to challenge you to drinking competitions (he has a competitive streak after all, always up for a contest) which usually ends up with you passed out and waking up the next morning to Ajax making breakfast (donning an apron if you’re lucky.) Though there have been times when you’ve been blessed to see a red-faced, drunk Ajax.

It would be funny if he was a fighty drunk. The kind of drunk who suddenly wants to spar with you out of nowhere. Wants to go to the Golden House with you but he can’t even make it halfway, literally about to make both of you fall from how much he’s clinging onto you. Though, it’s not too hard to take care of him, if you’re okay with a dozen smooches to your face and a lot of whining. He is incessant with his cuddling, arms tightly bound around you. It takes a lot of persuading to let him release you. What he would appreciate is a nice home-cooked meal at this point, especially if it's Snezhnayan. He’s the one who usually does all the cooking, so he’s actually really grateful when you make something for him. The only problem is that when he’s drunk, he wants you to feed him. After that, the only plan of action is to comply with his demands for cuddling in bed. Somehow, you still fall asleep after him because Childe refuses to slumber before you. Zhongli has dropped him at your house quite a few times so you’re used to the routine by now.

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stemcellee · 1 month ago

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november 25 2024

i haven't really put a lot of words out there recently but i think i finally have something to get off my chest after thinking about it for a while...and to avoid spam it's under the cut D:

happy holidays to everyone though can't believe the season is already here!!!

med school is so hard!! i admit when i first got in, i was like "im not gonna let it get to me. i have amazing stress management skills and i'll handle everything so well!!" and then i fought a lot with dissapointment in myself when i was struggling with things i never imagined.

stuff i feel like i wasn't prepared for:

the constant worry about not doing enough. you see snippets of other people's lives when they are productive and it makes you feel like everyone is so much more productive than you

how hard it can be to compartmentalized. both ways!! when i'm relaxing ("relaxing") i'm planning how to somehow be productive while relaxing. when i'm working, im wishing so bad i had spent my relaxing time ACtually relaxing

attachment. this feels like such a personal problem but when i'm doing practice questions the clinical vignette is consistently similar to people in my life who have been affected by the pathologies i'm about to be tested on. a 70 year old woman with hypertension and diabetes...succumbs to decompensated heart failure. a 50 year old woman has bouts of angina...and suffers a massive MI. a 60 year old male is rushed to the hospital for chest pain...and dies of ventricular arrythmia an hour later. it's so scary thinking about how your parents and loved ones could be those patients!! it motivates me to make sure i learn these things for my future patients but it's sad carrying this around. i guess this is part of why i went to med school anyways...

how easy it is to forget about yourself. i will have days of highly productive focused studying/work but suddenly will get slapped with an unexpected migraine. i am getting a lot better about this but i have to remember that working out, eating well, etc are not wastes of time. i need to preserve myself most importantly becasue without me, i can't even do any of this!!

last thing. projection. i find myself making up problems sometimes that i think is a coping mechanism for projecting my own frustrations into something to blame. like studying is tough and i get frustrated that it doesn't come as easily to me sometimes, so i feel upset that things aren't how i expected them to be, like if i had more support id be happier/better at studying etc. while that's true, i recognize it's also a coping mechanism to place the blame externally...

anyways yeah there are a lot of things i've been thinking about in the thick of it all. med school is not what i expected it to be, and i really cannot blame others for not knowing what to expect either because truly you cannot anticipate how you will feel. thanks for reading it's been a min

#studyblr #study #studyspo #studying #studyspiration #life #college #med school #medical school #medblr #med student #medical student #aesthetic #study motivation

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giveafike · 3 months ago

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in honour of bens bday u should do a fic where he gets a special bday present iykyk!?!😉😉

TLDR: You surprise Ben on his bday with his fave present ever (you)! DW for my soft girls, I'll be posting a SFW alphabet after this

Word count + info: 3.5k! Lwky way longer than smut I'd normally write, but it's for a special occassion (I had this up my sleeve for some time). Dialogue (sex talk,.).

Warnings + Content Ahead: NSFW - Minors DNI!! Sweet loving unprotected sex, hickeys, oral sex ... erm yeah!

Azzie Notes ✚: I wasn't gonna let u guys go hungry on a day like today! I also wasn't about to proofread and post a NSFW fic in public lmao, so sorry for the wait!! Also, ANON!!! they say great minds think alike, I was gonna surprise u guys for today w this since we're all so desperate rn, anyways, happy birthday to us!! (im so sad he didnt win today, I hope hes ok tho. I also he posts for his bday so I have new pics to drool over)

P.S this cake in the middle made me YELP laughing, I had to include it. I love Ben's barely visible moustache too, pls am i feral or... 🤭🤭 SEND REQUESTS!!

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Shanghai - B.T.S.

You had been planning this for weeks, months actually, sacrificing your time, saving up, and ensuring every detail was perfect for Ben’s 22nd birthday. It wasn’t just another day; it was his day, and you would make sure it was unforgettable.

Of course, he didn't take a break, not even on his birthday. So naturally, you found yourself flying into Shanghai the afternoon before his birthday. You packed last minute but you knew exactly what to do when you got there. His dad, Bryan, and his personal trainer had been in on the whole surprise from the get-go, helping ensure everything would go smoothly. They were kind enough to organise and send you a spare key to Ben's apartment so you could set up his surprise while he spent the early hours preparing and playing on the courts. Ben was already deep into his routine for the Rolex Masters, completely oblivious to your plan. They had arranged for you to sneak into Ben’s apartment while he was out, leaving you the whole morning to prepare for his surprise.

The morning of his birthday, after Ben left for training and his match, you got to work. You had one mission: make everything perfect before he returned. With the help of the chef and a few decorators, who arrived early to set up while you were out, the apartment was being transformed into a celebration space. They handled the food, decorations, and clean up so you could focus on the rest of the surprise.

You went straight from the apartment to the bustling streets of Shanghai, making sure to get everything in one sweep. First, you found a shop that sold the most beautiful silver chain, sleek, simple, and elegant. The links were subtly engraved with the coordinates of the place of your first date. It was a personal, thoughtful gift, something he could wear daily without it being too flashy.

Next, you picked up the balloons, large, metallic letters that spelt out “Happy 22nd Birthday Ben!,” as well as gorgeous bouquets of red roses and white lilies, his favourites, he loved how they smelt. As you walked through the shops, your heart raced. You smiled, imagining his reaction when he saw the apartment transformed, he didn't even know you were here.

Your final stop was a chic lingerie boutique. You browsed through delicate fabrics before choosing a stunning set of black lace lingerie, seductive and understated, the perfect surprise for later that evening. With everything in hand, you rushed back to the apartment, anticipation buzzing in your veins.

Once the chef and decorators finished setting up and left, you had the apartment to yourself. The balloons were floating in the living room, the roses perfectly arranged in tall vases strewn around. The air was filled with the scent of candles and the delicious meal waiting to be heated up later, roasted duck breast, truffle mashed potatoes, and a rich red wine reduction. The cake sat in the fridge, waiting for its moment to shine with the cheeky message iced on top: “Happy Birthday! I love you for you, but that D is an amazing bonus too”. You checked on it and giggled to yourself before you headed to get ready.

You took your time getting ready. First, you showered and did your hair in soft waves that tumbled down your back. Your makeup was flawless, subtle with a bold touch of a deep vampy lipstick. You slipped into the black lace lingerie, feeling a rush of excitement as the delicate fabric hugged your skin. You took your time admiring it on you, knowing it would only get seconds of appreciation before it's torn off. Over it, you put on the gown you had chosen for the evening, a long, sheen golden dress that was tied at the neck and shimmered as it draped down to your ankles. It was backless, elegant yet sensual, teasing the bra wire at the back and you couldn’t wait for Ben to see it.

With everything in place, you received the text from Bryan:

Ben’s on his way back. He’ll be there soon.

It was time.

You lit the candles around the apartment, their warm glow casting a flickering, romantic light across the room. Then you dimmed the overhead lights, giving the space an intimate ambience. You hopped up onto the kitchen island, tucking your feet under you, the golden dress pooled as you propped yourself up with the cake on your lap, carefully placing and lighting candles. The scent of flowers and the flicker of candlelight filled the air as you waited, your heart beating faster with every passing minute.

Ben’s footsteps grew louder as he approached the door, but your heartbeat drowned them out. You took a deep breath, adjusting your posture on the counter, the lit candles casting a soft glow over your golden gown. The cake on your lap, with its cheeky message, waited for his reaction.

The door clicked open, and Ben stepped inside, in his shorts and t-shirt, looking completely unprepared for what greeted him. His eyes scanned the room in a quick sweep, first the balloons and decorations all over, then the flowers, the candles, before landing on you. His jaw dropped, eyes wide in surprise as his bag fell to the floor with a thud.

“Happy Birthday!” you said, hopping off the counter and sauntering towards him, the cake held out for him to blow out the candles. The flickering flames illuminated his expression, pure, genuine shock.

“Holy-" he began, running a hand through his tousled hair. "You're here? In Shanghai?”

You grinned, holding up the cake just beneath his chin. “Surprise, baby.”

He walked over to you in slow strides, shock written all over, converting into a big smile. Ben holds your face, kissing your forehead tenderly before he glances from you to the cake, his smile growing. Then he read the message, written in smooth icing: Happy Birthday! I love you for you, but that D is an amazing bonus too.

Ben chuckled, shaking his head, his voice rich with amusement. “Of course you would write that.”

You winked. “Come on, make a wish, birthday boy. The candles are melting”.

He blew out the candles, his eyes never leaving yours, his intensity heightened by the dim lighting. The last flicker of the candles faded, leaving the two of you in a soft, romantic glow.

You set the cake on the island and looked up at him expectantly with a cheeky smile. “So? What did you wish for?”

Ben tilted his head, his gaze lingering on you for a long moment. “I’m not supposed to tell you, right?” His voice dropped lower as he leaned in, lips brushing your ear. “But if I’m honest, I already got my wish”.

Your cheeks flushed at the warmth in his voice as he planted a kiss on your ear to your cheek, and you laughed, brushing him off playfully. “Smooth, Shelton. Real smooth.”

You beckoned him to take a seat at the dinner table while you plated up dinner. Ben’s gaze followed you as you turned to grab the plates, his eyes catching the thin strap of your lacy bra that peeked out from the backless gown. “Wait a second,” he said, voice thick with admiration. “What are you hidin' under here?".

You smirked over your shoulder, sliding the plated food onto the table. “No spoilers! That's for later”

Ben bit his lip, shaking his head, but the playful gleam in his eye was undeniable.

Dinner was simple yet elegant, spent in perfect company and admiration. The conversation flowed as it always did, full of laughter and warmth. You listened as he recounted stories from his time in Shanghai, but you couldn’t ignore how his gaze kept drifting toward you, especially as he roamed over your face and down to the golden gown.

After the final bites of dinner, it was time for his gifts. You handed him a small box first, an elegant silver chain that he unwrapped carefully, his brow furrowing in curiosity. His fingers brushed over the subtle engraving on the links.

“These are coordinates,” he murmured, more to himself.

You nodded. “To where we had our first date.”

Ben’s expression softened immediately, his hand closing around the chain. “Oh, baby...” His voice was quiet, full of emotion as he thumbed over the engraving. He pulled it on, the silver glinting softly in the candlelight as it rested against his neck. “This is perfect. I love it.”

You smiled, watching him admire it before you handed him a few more small gifts, personal things you knew he’d love, tokens of your relationship like a small scrapbook of things you love about him with printed photos, some gifts from his friends back home, a Lego set. He found himself smiling, chuckling and soft with each gift. As the gifts came to a close, you stood up and made your way in front of Ben.

With a mischievous grin, you leaned closer, voice teasing. “But the best present is still to come.”

Ben raised an eyebrow, his grin widening as you knelt, turned around and swept your hair to the side, revealing the small tie at the nape of your neck that held your golden gown in place. “Want to unwrap your final present?”

His hands were on you in an instant, fingers brushing against your skin as he slowly undid the delicate knot. The gown loosened, slipping easily down your body, the soft fabric cascading to the floor in a golden pool around your feet.

Ben’s breath hitched as he took in the sight of you standing there in front of him in nothing but the black lace lingerie that had played in his mind all night. The candlelight only made you look all the more beautiful, feeling like he was entranced. His gaze travelled over your body, and his voice dropped to a rough whisper. “Jesus, baby…”

His hands gently grazed your bare skin as his eyes roamed over every inch of you. “You knew exactly what you were doing when you picked this out.”

“I know what my boyfriend likes,” you teased, holding his hands and bringing him to his feet. He stood close, his hands roaming the small of your back, your shoulders, your hips - anywhere he could feel your skin. Your height difference is now apparent as you look up at him through your lashes.“I’ve got his taste figured out by now.”

Ben grinned, his gaze darkening as his hand slid up to cradle your jaw. “You definitely do,” he whispered before pulling you into a kiss, deep, slow, and intoxicating. His lips were warm and soft against yours, the heat between you both intensifying with each passing second. The kiss deepened, his hands sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer as though he couldn't get enough of you.

You broke the kiss, breathless, your heart pounding as you looked up at him. “Come with me, just one more surprise,” you said softly, taking his hand and leading him toward the bedroom.

As you approached, the door swung open, revealing a scene that took Ben by surprise once again. The room was bathed in the warm glow of candles scattered across various surfaces, their flickering light casting soft shadows on the walls. Rose petals were strewn artfully over the bed, a trail of them leading from the door to where the plush bedding awaited. It was romantic, thoughtful, and completely personal, elevating the moment beyond any cliché.

Ben stood in the doorway for a moment, his hand still in yours, his gaze sweeping over the room. His breath caught, and he gave a quiet, amazed laugh. “I've never been so spoiled before, Y/N.”

You turned to him, your smile soft, the warmth of the moment settling around you both. “Only the best for you. Happy birthday, baby. I love you so much”.

He didn’t waste another second. In one smooth motion, Ben hauled you up into his arms, his lips capturing yours again in a kiss that felt even more intense than the last. There was something deeper in it now, filled with gratitude and love, not just desire. His hands roamed your body, appreciating every inch, as he brought you towards the bed. Your legs wrapped around his waist as you let him take the reign of the kiss, letting him enjoy feeling you up after so long. The feel of his lips, the way his fingers tangled in your hair as he kissed you like he couldn’t believe you were there, it made the whole night feel perfect. He tugged off his shorts and broke the kiss to take off his t-shirt.

He paused, holding your face as he looked down at you before he began to speak, chains dangling in your face, his voice husky against your skin. “You’ve made this the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you.”.

Your heart swelled at his words, and you smiled softly, holding his face and rubbing your thumb across his cheek. “And the night’s only just started. Let me take care of you tonight”. You winked as you gently pushed his shoulder down, putting you on top and letting him feel nothing but pure pleasure and love tonight. You straddled him as you undid your bra, tossing it to the side.

His breath hitched again, eyes trailing over you in admiration.

“God, you’re perfect,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion and desire. His hands ran up your sides in a feathering feeling, before cupping your breasts, palming and tweaking your nipples.

"And you're amazing. I love you, Ben. I'm all yours" you purred as you swept your hair over to one side, placing your palms on his broad chest, lowering yourself down as you planted kisses along his jaw.

Your words made him exhale deeply, giving you just the motivation you needed. You made sure you were going to kiss every inch of Ben tonight, show him just how much you loved and adored him. You sucked on the soft spots you knew well by now, places that made him whimper and groan with pleasure, your favourite symphony. You nipped at his Adam's apple while he fondled your breasts, pinching, rolling and tugging at your nipples. The feeling made you moan against his throat, both of you enthralled in bliss. You trailed your mouth and tongue down kissing and suckling his shoulders and chest, leaving a trail of hickeys all over. You could hear the soft gasps escape his mouth as he held your body tight.

"Ben? Baby, keep your eyes on me, m'kay?" You purred as you made your way to his stomach, about to kiss down to his happy trail.

His eyes flitted open as he propped himself up to keep his eyes on you, never once breaking eye contact. You trailed down, right by his waistband as you danced around, teasing him. You could feel his hard length, desperate to be free, you could see the desperation in his eyes, his mouth agape, brows furrowed, and you could see your work marked all over him, leaving purple stains tainting his skin.

"Y/N...please" he whispered, his voice croaking.

You smiled, holding back a small laugh as you bit his waistband, dragging it down with your teeth as he lifted himself a bit to help you slide them off. You lowered yourself to the edge of the bed, on your knees, never once breaking eye contact.

Ben's erection sprang free, already hard and eager for your touch. You couldn't help but lick your lips at the sight, feeling a surge of desire course through you.

"Tell me what you want, birthday boy," you hummed, your breath hot against his skin as you placed your head on his thigh.

Ben's eyes were dark with lust as he looked down at you. "Your mouth," he groaned. "Please, baby".

Maintaining eye contact, you slowly kissed the tip, before licking a long stripe from base to tip. Ben let out a low groan, his hands fisting in the sheets. You swirled your tongue around the head before taking his head into your mouth.

Ben's eyes fluttered closed before snapping open again, remembering your request to keep watching. You began to bob your head, taking another inch with each pass. Your hand worked in tandem with your mouth, stroking what you couldn't fit.

"Fuck, baby," Ben panted, one hand moving to tangle in your hair, putting it up into a ponytail. "That feels so good."

You hummed in response, the vibrations making him buck against you. You did your very best to try to take as much of his girthy cock as possible, your eyes watering a bit as you did so. You felt so seductive at this moment, the wetness growing in your lacy thong as you worked your boyfriend as if he paid for this.

As you continued your ministrations, alternating between long, slow licks and deep, rhythmic sucking, Ben's breathing became more ragged. His grip tightened in your hair as he guided you up and down his length as he fought to keep his hips still. You could feel Ben getting close, his cock twitching in your mouth.

"Y/N," he groaned, tugging gently at your hair. "I'm gonna-"

You pulled off with a soft pop, looking up at him through your lashes. "Not yet, baby. I want you inside me".

Ben groaned in frustration, but his eyes were dark with anticipation as you crawled back up his body. You straddled his hips, the lace of your panties brushing against his sensitive skin. His hands roamed your body, caressing every curve and dip before finding your waist. When he reached the waistband of your lace panties, he pushed it to the side, placing his thumb on your clit, and applying pressure. You had worked yourself soaking wet during the whole evening, your arousal was apparent.

You gently hovered and aligned him up to your core, before gently taking him in. You slowly sank onto Ben's length, savouring the delicious stretch as he filled you completely.

You both let out a simultaneous moan of pleasure as you bottomed out, your hands braced on his chest for support. The feeling of him stretching and filling you was amazing, it never failed to make your eyes roll and you took a moment to adjust, savouring the sensation.

Ben's fingers dug into your hips, his eyes locked on yours with an intensity that made your heart race.

"God, you feel amazing," he breathed, voice husky with desire.

You began to move, rolling your hips in a slow, sensual rhythm. Ben met your movements, thrusting up into you with perfect synchronicity. The room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, skin slapping, soft moans, low groans, and whispered endearments.

As the pace quickened, Ben sat up, wrapping one arm around your waist to pull you closer, deeper if even possible. His other hand tangled in your hair, guiding you into a deep, passionate kiss. You could feel the cool metal of his chains hitting against your breasts with every thrust and roll. His touch on your skin was reverent as if he couldn't believe you were real.

You whispered sweet “i-love-yous” and precious words of endearment, as you felt yourself coming close. He pressed his lips to your forehead, before pressing his forehead against yours, both of you heaving and moaning.

You could feel the tension building, the heat coiling low in your belly as you rode Ben with increasing urgency. Ben's hands roamed your back, tracing the curve of your spine as you rode him, your hips rolling in a sensual rhythm that had you both panting. His thrusts became more erratic, his breathing ragged against your neck as he buried his face there, peppering kisses and gentle bites along your sensitive skin.

"You’re so beautiful, Y/N, so perfect." Ben groaned, his voice strained. "I'm close, baby. So close."

You nodded, moaning, unable to form words as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, your body trembling with the effort to hold back your release. "Me too," you managed to gasp. "Together".

You could feel the familiar tension building within you, your movements becoming more urgent. Ben's hand slipped between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit and circling it with practised ease.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged, his breath hot against your ear. "Let go for me".

The added stimulation was all it took to push you over the edge. Your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, pleasure coursing through every nerve ending as you came, followed by Ben, who groaned, his face contorted as he felt himself fill you up. You cried out his name as waves of pleasure washed over you, your body trembling in his arms. Ben held you close, guiding you through your orgasm with gentle thrusts and whispered praise. You both stayed like that for some time before you climbed off him and collapsed on the bed.

“I hope you got everything you wanted, birthday boy” you gasped, catching your breath. Your legs still shook a bit and your body trembled as you lay there, looking up at your smiling boyfriend.

“You have no idea, I can’t wait to spend every birthday like this with you” he smiled, leaning down to peck kisses over your shoulder and neck.

"We'll celebrate like this every year, Ben. Happy birthday, my love" you hummed, pressing a kiss to his lips. With that, you both lay in each other’s arms whispering sweet adorations, happy to spend the next while by each other’s side.

#ben shelton #benshelton #ben shelton x reader

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serverusslaype · 1 year ago

Text

Special

just a random short angsty, sort of fluffy one-shot, Severus Snape x professor!reader

i just wrote this right now because im in an angsty sort of mood, and i wanted to post something. i miss you guys, and i am now currently writing part 14 to shameless!! woo!! that break did my brain well. i feel refreshed hehe. <3 thank you for giving me some tips on how to get rid of that godforsaken writer's block, good lord. i hated it. but i'm free now, until next time ;)

this is a drabble/one-shot so it's sort of vague-ish, so yeah, if there's any mistakes or anything i'm sorry. ;(

(i also didn't put the taglist since it isn't part of the shameless fic! just in case you wondered!)

warnings: mentions of cheating

"If it makes you stop crying," Snape began hesitantly as he stared at your tear-stained face, frowning with a scrunched nose of what seemed like disgust. "We can go back to my office, and I'll make you some tea." He said, shoulders rising and falling slowly as he sighed. Watching you be so sad and cry wasn't something Snape was fond of, and it was effecting him - more than he wanted to admit. He just hoped you'd accept his request of making you some tea, then perhaps he could figure out what was making you so upset, and punish the culprits. Snape had always had a little soft-spot for you ever since you'd joined Hogwarts as a professor a year or so ago. Usually he didn't feel such a way towards younger, new professors, however, your kind and sweet aura had him unexpectedly mesmerised the moment you'd introduced yourself to him. The Potions Master wasn't exactly sure why he felt this way towards you so soon, but he knew it couldn't be good - the last time he felt something like this was back when he was a child.

You looked up, still sobbing quietly, managing to slip a confused frown upon your face. "Tea?" You repeated quietly with a sniffle, pausing for a moment to ponder on Snape's offer. "...Tea would be nice."

You hadn't expected to bump into your usually gloomy, rude colleague whilst having what you thought was going to be a private breakdown after learning that your partner had cheated on you with your best friend. Almost two years down the drain, just like that. Snape had accidentally walked in on you hunched over your desk, crying hopelessly. He was about to walk away when you'd heard a deep sigh, startling you. And here you were. Being offered tea by him.

"Let's go then." Snape said with a flat tone, looking away from your sad eyes, unable to withstand the pain that was gathering in his chest.

You were at least two or three cups of tea down when you'd finally explained everything to Snape. From the start of your relationship to the unexpected demise. It dug up old, painful memories, and you were crying again.

"What's wrong with me?" You sobbed, taking another sip of the tea that Snape had made you; hot tears soaking your cheeks and dripping into the cup. Another deep, frustrated sigh slipped from Snape again as he watched you from his desk with a sad frown upon his pale features. "I don't get it," you sniffled, gripping the handle of the tea cup with white knuckles, "did I do something wrong?"

No, you couldn't do anything wrong, Snape wanted to say. He wanted to tell you how wrong you were, and how perfectly good you truly were. But he knew you wouldn't listen, and so he kept quiet, only muttering in disagreement.

"I doubt that, Y/N." Snape mumbled, though you didn't give him much time to say anything else before you stumbled into a self-deprecating rant.

"Maybe I wasn't worth it, I mean, it's not like I'm anything... special," you laughed dryly, avoiding Snape's cold eyes, "maybe I'm just the girl that everyone dates before they find their true love. I'm the girl that they use to find the one, I don't have any good qualities, I'm a pushover, and-"

Snape inhaled sharply, "Stop it, Y/N!" He bellowed, slamming a hand down on the desk that the two of you were sat at. Instantly, you went silent, your mouth hanging open in shock as your heartbeat suddenly sped into an incredibly fast pace. You glanced up at Snape with wet and wide eyes, startled by his unusual outburst.

"Severus-"

"No, Y/N," he held up a hand, silencing you, "you're wrong about yourself. You are special." Snape sighed, moving his hand to massage his temples. You couldn't believe what was coming out of this man's mouth. "You're more than enough. Your ex was clearly a fool to do such a thing to you. In fact, I can't fathom why they would choose your friend over you." Snape said with a stern tone, clearly distressed. Your mouth still hung open as you stared at him, flabbergasted. "You're kind, sweet, considerate, and your heart is twice the size than it should be."

"I..." You uttered quietly, staring at Snape, evidently speechless. He shut his eyes momentarily, suddenly realising what he'd just said. Yet another deep sigh slipped from his heaving chest, rendering you silent.

"You..." Snape stumbled, avoiding your eyes. There was no way he could look at you right now. He'd just opened the floodgates on what he truly thought of you. He probably looks like a right blithering idiot.

The room went quiet, and the two of you sat there in what felt like a somewhat-comfortable silence, taking the moment to acknowledge what had just happened.

You stared at the man opposite you, a sudden and unusual warmth blooming in your chest. For the first time since you'd met him, you took the opportunity to truly look at him. Snape's black eyes glittered in the low, soft amber light from his candles as he reluctantly glanced up at you, pressing his lips into an awkward thin and flat line. His shoulders rose a tad, tensing as he inhaled, and he shifted his gaze to the desk again. Clearly, he was unsure on how to navigate this current moment.

A tiny smile picked at the corners of your lips as you looked at him. "Thank you." You whispered, glancing down at his splayed out hands. Taking a chance, you reached out your own hand and placed it atop of one of his, feeling it flinch. Snape's eyes darted up to yours, and he returned your smile, though it seemed a little awkward.

Snape didn't say anything to you, he only nodded gently before pulling his hand back to himself after a few long moments, clearing his throat.

"Well, since you've stopped crying," he began, sitting up straight in his chair, "we can assume I've done a good job." A little chuckle escaped you, and it caused a loose, genuine smile to erupt on Snape's face. You noticed it, but chose not to say anything, instead silently admiring how well it suited him.

"Now I know who to come to when I'm sad." You joked lightly, and as quickly as the smile had arrived on his lips, it disappeared. You laughed, feeling a tad lighter. Though the awful situation still sat within you like a dead weight, waiting to be dealt with, it felt good to smile and laugh, especially with a man you thought to be devoid of such emotions.

"I don't think-"

"Thanks, Severus." You cut him off with a bright smile, making his heart flutter. Perhaps he would wander past your classroom a little more often than before.

Masterpost

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milkamel · 1 month ago

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What if dream at some point during the battle got so OVERWHELMED by his own emotions and negativity, i imagine the constant need to be positive and bring joy to others to be so negativity overwhelming, even though canonically dream can’t feel negative emotions i like to think of it as “toxic positivity” like he’s positively negative with himself, how do you think the others handle that? Burst of emotions and the reactions like dream just starts having a whole breakdown mid fights (i feel like blue would have seen the signs and try to ask what was wrong and dream constantly saying “im fine”)

I cannot imagine being the guardian of positivity and basically told “hey you need to have this sense of heroism and help others” but also neglect their own needs must be awful just makes me think of the part of the song in “turn it down” with the lyrics of “I'm at my final straw, My power's hardly a blessing at all, Heeding to everybody's call, Is there a line that I can draw?” made for dolores from encanto, if you never heard of it i suggest listening to it, its a great song, i think these two characters have similarities with the overwhelming of their powers.

Omg I absolutely LOVE this scenario with Dream, it’s so good!! (So much angst and hurt/comfort potential, I adore it)

Dream is indeed more than a heroic guardian of positivity, he’s a person as well, he has feeling and insecurities, and having a bunch of expectations from others, not being allowed to show weakness so he won’t worry others is a giant pressure (Imagine people seeing a guardian of POSITIVITY being SAD? Dream can’t afford that and ruin the image that brings everyone hope). It’ll definitely pile up and it would be harder and harder to handle with each day. He helped the villagers and couldn’t say no when he was a kid and he helps the whole multiverse now and he just can’t catch a break or else something terrible happens.

He definitely blames himself for every failure, he feels like he fails as a guardian like he has failed his brother who’s just a cruel reminder of his mistakes now (He can’t accept that maybe he was actually manipulated as well, he thinks it’s his fault he couldn’t be good enough for his brother). Only Blue probably knows about his struggles, and unlike Dream he’s actually the one who’s genuinely positive and not forcing it. He has his brother, he helps people like he wanted, his AU is okay, he has popularity, everything he strived for. He will be able to tell if Dream feels bad and fakes it. But Dream doesn't want to burden his friend with his problems and ruin his good mood.

Maybe Dream would try to take out his negativity in battles, maybe his attacks would be less focused and messy but maybe this would make him feel slightly better afterwards? And obviously Dream doesn’t put himself first and just physically can’t refuse if you beg him enough, he doesn’t want to disappoint. But if he does breakdown I imagine the shock and surprise on everyone's faces. Dream has always seemed perfect and now he's crumbling in front of them :(

And yeah, I know this song, I listened to it a long while ago but I can see what you mean by that! I can see the similarities!! Being a guardian definitely doesn't feel as a blessing anymore but a curse and a burden that he must fulfill for everyone's and his own sake (If we're mentioning Encanto songs I think Surface Pressure might fit to the theme as well lol)

#mmelask #mmelyapping #loved writing about this a lot ehehe

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honeycreammilkshake · 4 months ago

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hello there honey i really enjoyed your analysis on sukuna and yujis relationship they're so overlooked by the vast majority of the fandom despite being the mcs and it makes me happy some of us appreciate their dynamic i might be unsatisfied with geges overall handling of the story and how it took so long to really focus on these two but he wrote them very compelling despite everything. it makes me frustrated because it could've been even more of a punch if we didn't focus so much on everything else and i adore some characters but it came at the expense of not doing enough with his mcs which even if some people don't want them to be its still yuji and sukuna.

anyhow a small little detail i wanted to point out about 265 is yuji up to that point had been treating and referring to sukuna as a curse, but while in his domain while they're fishing he baits him by saying "cant the strongest sorcerer do this?" and its baiting him obvs and hitting at his ego but he still referred to him as a sorcerer and he's the only one to do so to my knowledge everyone else including himself refers to him as the king of curses, something that he was seen as by everyone since the heian era, a curse, and that he still believes he is right to 268. i really wanted gege to expand on why yuji sympathies with him, we can deduce why and it he clearly does but i wanted to see his exact thoughts what changed, maybe he found out by gojo about his family when he talked to him and realized sukuna was his relative? i mean there's more reasons why he sympathized with him clearly as you very well pointed out in your post but still this is why im dissatisfied with the writing they could've explained it better.

what are your thoughts? i hope we get to focus on yuji at least in the next chapters or im going to lose it. do you have any hope that sukuna ended up accepting yujis offer? i think the scene ended abruptly... i want them back together its so frustrating and while it fits and i can see gege leaving it like that it just doesn't feel right to me

hi, jenjen!! (do you mind if i call you that?)

thank you so much for reading that mess of a post. i had a lot of sukuita feels and just spilled my thoughts in one entire go. it's sad that they're so overlooked because they're unironically the best thing about jjk. like yeah there's a lot of cool characters in jjk but sukuna is literally a god of chaos and devastation that somehow got stuck in the body of an unhinged teenager who would sacrifice his own life for strangers.

they're two different extremes trapped within the same body, but as the story goes on we see they're a lot more similar than they first appear. like yin and yang, the two extremes that often oppose each other but are also inseparably complimentary to each other. there is soooooo much to explore with that dynamic, and i'm forever heartbroken we didn't get to have more focus on these two because they are honestly amazing.

your point about that one scene in 265 is so goooood <3

as you said, up until that point yuuji had only been referring to sukuna as a curse, even though that's not technically true. but to yuuji, sukuna is more of a curse than some curses are. this is part of my theory that yuuji is the only one that sees right through sukuna. almost everyone else admires sukuna or only sees him as something to test their strength against.

yuuji is the only one who actually hates sukuna. yuuji even wants to destroy him because he knows sukuna is a murdering, cannibalizing force of death and devastation. and sukuna hates yuuji because the brat represents everything that goes against sukuna's cursed and selfish nature.

they both stand for everything the other hates, yet it's so interesting that they somehow understand each other better than anyone else does. (more on that later >.<)

what i really love about this scene is yuuji's teasing nature. he's not being mocking or sarcastic. he's both stroking sukuna's ego and, with light playfulness, is giving him a kind of recognition (as a sorcerer, not a curse) that nobody else has. you were completely right with that, jenjen.

and it's just so sudden that it happens. actually, everything about this chapter was so sudden and unexpected.

the fact that sukuna is willfully going along with all of this when he would strike down and destroy people for daring to even order him about (like nanako and mimiko). yet he indulges yuuji over and over again.

yuuji is literally telling sukuna what to do, but sukuna doesn't even reprimand him. actually, he pays attention to yuuji. (also i love how everything is always so "special case" and "different" with them like that don't even know how they arrived in yuuji's little mind palace and sukuna looks freaked out about it but he still listens to yuuji, he still does whatever yuuji asks him to... that's truly amazing.)

this scene in particular was really interesting to me. as you pointed out earlier yuuji only ever referred to sukuna as a curse and treated him like one, too. during his conversation with mahito, yuuji says that his purpose in all this is to just kill curses, sukuna especially, as that's the end goal of everything yuuji did.

yet here yuuji is, decidedly not killing sukuna and instead giving the king of courses his entire life story. yuuji's being the most open and vulnerable about himself than he's ever been, and it's all for the infamous king of curses who cares only for himself, the enemy yuuji hates and wants to see destroyed.

yet the way sukuna remains uncharacteristically quieter through all of it, looking like he's honestly reflecting or considering what yuuji just said, and how he gives this meaningful pause after yuuji describes how empty the town he was raised in became. yuuji says he expected it to be that way and sukuna looks almost thoughtful about that.

something similar happens a little bit later on when yuuji's talking about how there's a smaller amount of insects now than when he was younger.

what i noticed about both of these moments is that yuuji is talking about changes that happened for him. changes in the place he was raised and changes in the life he used to see more of that he doesn't now.

sukuna isn't affected by change. he's the strongest, he does whatever pleases him and doesn't care about anyone but himself. but yuuji cares about these little things, these changes that affect him, these small details that stay in his memory. that's such a contrast to sukuna's mindset, which is that every human tastes fleeting. and here yuuji is, sharing his memories about these tiny things with sukuna, these "tastes" that have stuck with him. because it's little details like yuuji losing his slime toy or drinking sweet milk tea when it snows that makes him who he is as a person. but does sukuna have any kind of memories like these? anything that connects him to being human like yuuji? maybe that is why yuuji is showing sukuna all these everyday normal things. he knows sukuna doesn't have memories like this, so maybe showing him yuuji's own might trigger something in him, something deep down. he wanted sukuna to open up with him too, maybe.

all of this is such a strong contrast to how other sorcerers and curses treat sukuna. they only approach him with the intent to try to overpower him or maybe to try to gain his favor. yuuji isn't doing anything like that. he isn't bargaining or making violent demands. there's no fighting. it's the most tender they have been with each other so far. (sukuna not killing yuuji the moment that brat asked him to do anything is sukuna being tender imo... he would have crushed anyone else for daring to do such a thing.)

it's just... it's so fascinating how yuuji hated sukuna for being so inhuman before, but now he's suddenly treating sukuna like he is human. he's acknowledging that sukuna was human even if the king of curses doesn't want to be seen as that anymore. and it's beautifully complex and should have been explored far deeper.

i really wanted gege to expand on why yuji sympathies with him, we can deduce why and it he clearly does but i wanted to see his exact thoughts what changed, maybe he found out by gojo about his family when he talked to him and realized sukuna was his relative? i mean there's more reasons why he sympathized with him clearly as you very well pointed out in your post but still this is why im dissatisfied with the writing they could've explained it better.

i am right with you on this one, too. chapter 265 was almost like a dream for me. jjk is hardly romantic at all. even a lot of other action manga includes at least a little romantic subplot... yet the most romantic scenes we get in this series are these date-like interactions between sukuna and yuuji, who supposedly hate each other, yet i guess they're out there doing archery together??

(sukuna getting another perfect archery shot just to impress his demanding little boyfriend <3 i love how serious he looks here, too, he's really playing up that coolness factor)

you also made another great point about how yuuji suddenly took a lot more emotional interest in sukuna now than he did before. i wonder if that conversation yuuji had before gojo died was about sukuna being related to yuuji? maybe part of him lit up on the inside because he actually has family, even if it's the murderous demon god that wants to destroy him and everything that he loves? or maybe he felt some kind of closeness while sukuna was inside of him that he misses now?

i really wish that we got more scenes like this with these two. i want to understand yuuji's thought process for trying to reason with sukuna and to maybe even get him to open up, too.

it's sad that gege took so long to focus on these two again. there were so many more interactions we could have had, so many more meaningful insights into both of their characters.

but this chapter did a lot all in one take.

i said earlier that sukuna and yuuji understand each other really well, and i believe that's true because not only are they the only ones who spent so much time being soul-crushingly close to one another, they also get under each other's skin far more than anyone else does. sukuna loves to torment yuuji because he knows just how caring and compassionate yuuji is. he rubs it in that he killed thousands of people during the shibuya arc and that he possessed the body of yuuji's friend. but yuuji also knows just how to rile up sukuna and he fights sukuna hard, he never gives up, and i think sukuna secretly admires that about yuuji.

and this chapter showed us how they understand each other yet again.

this conversation, to me, shows two very important things. one is that, despite already feeling it's a lost cause, yuuji still tries to convince sukuna to accept the mercy he's showing him, to understand yuuji's perspective as well. but sukuna's response to this is more layered than it first seems, in my opinions.

as we've seen, sukuna uses a lot of backhanded insults and contradicting statements with yuuji. he simultaneously calls the brat weak and uninteresting, but is disappointed when yuuji lost against choso (sukuna was paying a suspicious amount of interest during that fight scene for someone who considers yuuji to be so worthless) and looks reluctantly impressed or even surprised at yuuji's abilities.

yet when anyone else gives sukuna a hard time or challenge, sukuna shows them respect or even gives them praise. he does no such thing with yuuji, at all. in fact, all he does is mock and discredit yuuji, so sometimes the actual words he uses is a roundabout way he's actually acknowledging yuuji getting under his skin. and i think his words here, "i'm astounded at how spineless you are," can be taken as a form of that reluctant and contradicting acknowledgment.

even if sukuna doesn't accept what yuuji is saying, i think he knows yuuji is being sincere. he has to feel like he's guarded against it though, so he easily dismisses yuuji, and that's why my second important thing from this conversation is how yuuji still doesn't give up.

sukuna knows yuuji can kill him. he's getting back up into a corner now. but instead of going in for any kind of demands, yuuji is giving sukuna mercy. a second chance. a choice.

even though he knows sukuna refuses to see things yuuji's away, to accept yuuji's ideals of valuing life, he still offers a chance at mercy for sukuna.

sukuna, who has deliberately proved over and over again that he doesn't deserve mercy or empathy, and yuuji understands this. he accepts that sukuna is unsympathetic and a monster.

even when sukuna is dying, yuuji shows him that mercifulness once more. he's far more gentle and compassionate to him than sukuna deserves.

the fact that he still wants to live with sukuna. either a longing for family or the closeness they once shared when yuuji was his vessel or both. he genuinely cares about sukuna. and i think sukuna knows that.

so that's why it's another insult to undermine yuuji's efforts and empathy when sukuna says this offer is yuuji just "acting the fool" when i think he knows truly that yuuji wouldn't be so unserious about such a big thing.

but one thing that hit me hard is how sukuna calls the brat by his full name this time. something he has never done before. just like yuuji called him a sorcerer that one time too. it's like sukuna's admitting deep down he was touched, but he just can't accept yuuji's mercy. that would kill his persona, his reputation as the king of curses. it would make him more human. and he refuses to be anything but inhuman.

the original japanese had quotes around "curse" and that was important for a reason. sukuna wanted to be seen only as a curse would be seen.

as gojo said. love is the greatest curse of all. and sukuna is the king of curses. so it's very fitting indeed that sukuna died in the hands of perhaps the one person who ever really saw him, or understood him, or loved him.

thank you for your ask btw, jenjenpup. i really loved reading your thoughts on this. thanks for bearing with me on all my rabid rants about these two. i hope i answered your ask well enough.

so glad to have you in the sukuita cult, too <3

#this was rushed so there are many grammar and writing errors are there #it's really late rn so i don't have the energy to edit this mess im sorry #but tysm for taking the time to send me an ask #you gave me some really good insight!#honey posts #asks #sukuita #sukuna ryomen #itadori yuuji #meta #they make me sick with how much i loved them #im dying bc i wanted so much for them to have had more interactions together #i really wish chapter 265 was 10x longer and explored so much more between them #im going to cry over this in the morning ;-;

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deathbxnny · 2 years ago

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Hi there! I want to say tysm again for doing my Hsr MC x Genshin Impact MC s/o request. So i was rereading that post for the fourth time i think (i cant help but imagine cute and dorky stuff they would do together whenever i reread your post) and a thought popped up on what would it be like if the traveler are with the others. So can i request hcs of the rest of the Astral Express crew (Himeko, Welt, March, and Dan heng) x s/o like traveler from genshin impact

(Btw TYSM FOR YOUR SONG SUGGESTIONS, i went and play all the songs you suggest and DAMN YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE, i can honestly see myself listening to it on loop. Melanie Martinez hasnt lost her touch but then again there is no way she would, she’s too amazing. Rn im currently listening to the entire album after listening to your suggestions. I still prefer her older albums like Cry baby and k-12 but that may change with me listening to PORTALS, its too early to say but i might update on you about it

Also HI THERE FELLOW MARETU FAN! Its so nice to know there’s someone else who likes their songs as well (none of my friends like their songs T.T) What’s your favourite song from MARETU? Mine is Mind Brand, ITS SO GOOD AND IM PROUD TO SAY I LOVE IT) Hope you have a great day/night btw!

- Flower Anon 🌸

-----♡

A/N: Hello Flower Anon! Thank you so much for your request and I'm glad you liked my song suggestions! I'm also so happy to meet another MARETU fan! My favourite song of theirs is DEFINITELY "Magical doctor"! I listen to it all the time and am obsessed with it haha!<33

Content: Traveler reader, tiny bit of angst if you squint hard enough, confessions, mutual pinning(kinda), friends to lovers, fluff, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》March 7th

She instantly did her best to become your friend at first, when you arrived on the Astral Express. She was determined to be your guide and show you the ropes, so everyone let her do it, as you also seemed to trust her fairly quickly.

You two became inseparable quite fast and always spent time together on the Express or on missions. She comforted you, whenever you were sad about your twin and promised to help you find them eventually. Surely you could, if you did it together! Yeah... her crush was very obvious for absolutely everyone and it was honestly adorable. But it was alright, as you felt the same.

She's fiercely protective of you on the battlefield and always shields you first out of everyone. She doesn't let you get hurt no matter what, even if you can handle yourself. You two still need to find your twin together after all, so just let her help you.

-----♡

》Dan Heng

He didn't think much of you at first, until he read up more on you and your situation. And after also talking to you, he started sympathising with your situation deep down, which made him warm up to you alot over time.

Once he does, he let's you hang out with him alot in his room, where he tries finding something on your twin in the archives. Is his way of comforting you, as he indirectly promises you that he'll help you find your twin this way. He doesn't notice his growing feelings for you either, so you might have to confess first eventually.

He's very protective of you and always keeps his eyes on you one way or another. He doesn't let anything hurt you and has your back during any battles you may have. You can count on him to keep you safe that's for sure.

-----♡

》Himeko

Himeko was the one to allow you to stay and therefore quickly became the person you relied on the most. You were quite grateful, even if she didn't see it as a big deal. She always comforts you and reassures you that she'll help you find your twin with all the resources she has.

You spend most of your days with her in the Astral Express watching the stars and drinking tea. She's always so interested in everything you talk about and takes time off work you whenever you need it. It was no surprise therefore, when feelings eventually just flourished between you two.

She doesn't let you on missions without her and she rarely does them as is, so you won't ever be in harms way. She wants you to live a comfortable and peaceful life on the Express, free of any stress or worries.

-----♡

》Welt Yang

Welt understood how you felt and therefore offered to help you out with anything you may need. That also included comforting you, when you were devastated about your lost twin. He promised, to help you find them and actually has a high chance of achieving that.

You spend alot of time with him on the Express and missions, as he is very dependable and comforting to you. Any questions you may have are answered by him with ease, you could practically listen to him talk all day and you do, whenever he explains something to you. He'll be painfully aware of his feelings for you, but will only admit them to you, once he knows you feel the same.

You can rely on him during any battle to protect you. It doesn't matter if you can defend yourself or not, he'll keep an eye on you at all times. You definitely don't have to worry about anything, when he's around.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was okay, Flower Anon! And I'm so sorry for the wait!<33

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr welt #hsr welt x reader #hsr march 7th #hsr march 7th x reader #hsr himeko x reader #hsr himeko #hsr dan heng #hsr dan heng x reader #hsr

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bluciusmacaw · 2 months ago

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Will Wood’s Slouching Toward Bethlehem/Branson Tour - Tucson, Arizona, Rialto Theatre

sorry i have a lot i need to say about this, it was great! It was great! First of all, it was great!

THE EXPERIENCE

Such a whirlwind!!! I wish I had a perfect memory it feels like such a waste to not be able to recall everything perfectly in its entirety!!! I really hope this show gets like the recordings uploaded somewhere, (not Tucson specifically, the man was very sick, so probably not firing on all cylinders, (but he could’ve fooled me!!)) I really need to know that I can hold on to that night just a little bit longer because it was so beautiful genuinely but my mind is flawed and it lets things slip away far too quickly. And it’s not like I was just NOT paying attention I WAS. I WAS. It was just such a barrage of AMAZING stuff that I genuinely could not keep up, I wanted every moment to last forever, but time kept marching on (as it does) and by the end of the show it felt like there was a little world that existed in that theatre and nowhere else, and when it had ended and I was horribly sad to see it go, but at least I was wearing some pants. Seriously, I’m so glad I could be there that night, I think the best word to describe the experience would just be “WOW!”

Point and Laugh

He preformed …Well, Better than the Alternative during this show and i actually quite liked the part where he slipped up and sang, “everybody’s in on my goddamn business, this isn’t my first krissss it’s………… fuck. BABY COULD YOU PLAY-“ i quite liked that part like yeah. sure maybe he messed up the lyrics but he handled it like a champ and also (i just learned this) his gf’s name is Christina (Kristina?) so perhaps he was just thinking about her u ever consider that huh? oh what u hate love??? u hate ppl who r in love??? give me a fucking break…..

How i shat the bed (unimportant)

I showed up at 5:00 p.m. because I was a little VIP, and I was freaking the FREAK OUT. I was freaking out man I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared to watch someone ELSE preform before but I was like a MESS. Will Wood was very sick (physically this time) (hahahah mental illness is funny!) so I couldn’t ask him to sign what I wanted him to sign but i got a FREE tote and The New Normal CD SIGNED so whatevah whatevah!!! But, listen, I went up to Will Wood, I was right there, in the perfect position to say all the things i had rehearsed in the time leading up to the show. and i fucking i forgot to say literally anything. i dont think i even said “hi,” i had two months to prepare just ONE statement for him and i totally shat the bed BUT HE WAS EXTREMELY KIND DESPITE THIS!! HE LIKE STILL SAID “THANK YOU” IN A MANNER THAT I WOULD CONSIDER TO BE EXTREMELY GENUINE!!! AND FUCKING. I ASKED HIM ABOUT REVELATOR (cringe?) AND I FORGOT TO TELL HIM TO TELL CHRIS DUNNE THAT THE WRITING WAS GREAT BUT THATS FINE IM SURE CHRIS ALREADY KNOWS DUE TO THE EPISODE DISCUSSIONS OR THE FEEDBACK CHANNEL ON DISCORD. BUT HE WAS VERY NICE AND VERY FUNNY and in a natural way too, like, if he was forcing it then he is better at improv acting than i thought! (JOKE) no but seriously obviously a lot of stuff had gone wrong leading up to that show but at the end of the day, Will and everyone else involved did a fantastic fucking job and i really commend their ability to do such good work despite the disease. And I’m so glad I got to be in the crowd of such an awesome show!

#shitpost #will wood #slouching towards branson #sorry i had to get this out of my system #i have a branson-shaped hole in my heart and it is caused by kudzu overgrowth #music music music #william woodiam #slouching towards bethlehem tour

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qoldenskies · 3 months ago

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I dont know much about your sep!au but raph sounds like he needs a nap

PLEASSSEEEE 😭😭😭😭

hi yeah absolutely that is the best conclusion to come to about him. he's really not as silly as he is in canon because he's had to be more responsible for a lot longer, and despite having less siblings to handle it's a lot more work to shoulder (if i can find a way for him to ACTUALLY work a job that would make sense, i'll go for it. genuinely i wonder wtf donnie is doing in canon to get them money dawg). it really means that i've upped his dichotomy with leo a lot, the only connecting trait between them is that donnie and mikey think they're both fucking crazy LMAO

and that's because for both of them, they're actually a lot more trigger-happy than in canon, which says a lot for raph in particular. his sense of justice is fully intact, if not stronger, but there's this kind of solemn quality to it instead of determination, which means he's not afraid of making necessary sacrifices, or even killing. he's not actually there for the events of the first episode (its just mikey and april..... mikey just wanted to get coffee 😭) so the whole mutant crisis is a surprise to him, especially because mikey kept his involvement hidden, for the exact reasons you'd imagine.

he doesn't take to it with the same kind of childish determination. there's this underlying sense of obligation that trumps everything else, because he's spent his whole life working through the exhaustion in a really similar way. it's just another way for him to fall back onto the same coping mechanisms he always does.

old sad sheepdog. he very quickly turns to the "us vs them" mentality against draxum/leo/donnie without any space for changing his mind, he's not the same kind of open-minded as he was about draxum (for mikey's sake) in canon. he WARMS UP to donnie, but only barely, and only because donnie begins to get comfortable working against draxum and the foot and in their favor (there is a moment deep deep into the plot where donnie falls to the floor in tears and raph adopts him Immediately though... sometimes the guy is weak, but its also very justified considering the situation. spoilers). but with leo oouuuuuhhhhh oh my goddd you will not BELIEVE how fucked up that shit gets. that dude is his nemesis. he doesn't trust mikey anywhere NEAR him and around the final stretch of the plot he only begrudgingly puts up with him because donnie is there to mediate. donnie is the only one they all like for a while and it's very exhausting especially because he's trying so hard to be patient and mikey is so ANNOYED about raph and leo's bs LMAOOOO he's gonna snap

i havent rlly thought about how the kraang/events of the movie would go but if i ended up going there i'd probably make it mikey and leo centric instead of A team centric, because raph and leo do come to a very neat and tidy conclusion but im realizing leo and mikey dont have a Moment like that planned yet. they get along eventually but not well, and leo feels super threatened by mikey for most of the plot because he feels like he's being replaced, so idk something for me to chew on later (it also means brains and brawn b plot... the temptation)

#ask #where we went wrong #mikey and leo's dynamic gets the least amount of focus which is such a shame #early on mikey thinks he's INFURIATING which is the funniest thing ever because its MIKEY #leo does some bs and he's like OH MY GODDDDDDD #but afterwards i could see them being chaotic together. kinda similar to canon #maybe with more fire #theyre connected by growing up as the rebellious ones of their family #even if leo was still kind of protective from the start he's always been a little shit #he'll enjoy giving splinter more gray hair (somehow)#actually ouuhhh leo would lash out and be awful in an attempt to make splinter be terrible to him because he was used to it with draxum....#okay thing to explore later #actually itd be funny if mikey and leo in this version of the movie had to band together because raph and donnie BOTH got taken #nobody to mediate them now. they gotta do this shit on their own. get fucked #(also another chance to address the responsibility theyve been forced to shoulder via their absence... its my thang)#also casey jr is there :) i dont know how the bad timeline would go either so maybe he'd be different lmao #i think itd be funny if the three of them collectively shared one braincell #i'll consider

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gold-rhine · 8 months ago

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Oh hsr... so then why did we spend a WHOLE PATCH with aventurine and his sad tragic backstory where some of it could have been in a character quest so the main plot could be paced better 🫠 I didn't mind learning about aventurine but I was like man are they going to cram everything into 2.2? And it looks like they did. Also what do you think of the pov switching? I'm not sure how it is like necessary 🤔 idk I mean I guess you can play as boothill but not really do anything with him. Maybe some of the plotlines like with sparkle will pay off in 2.3 but that's me being optimistic. I still overall like penacony story better than luofu but hmmm the philosophical ramblings not really going anywhere and there's going to be another IPC character that'll be playable which is oh boy I have no faith in the story writing of her. And firefly was um. A character. I liked her convo with blade! But other than that she was okay. Idk are any of the playable characters other than Robin even from penacony??? I know there's Misha and Gallagher but they're well... you know not exactly with us. I wish they went the hey yeah capitalism sucks direction rather than aww poor Sunday 😔 he just needs a hug 🫂. They were so close in 2.1 with him what happened???

LITERALLY 80% of 2.1 should have been aventurine character quest. like he's fine as a character, tho im not loving how slavery used for his sad backstory, but ignored that hes now doing it to others, but like literally nothing payed off in main quest. why did i have to hear him argue with his ghosts of past and future

i dont mind POV switching as concept, i think not tying us to the MC's view can be good for storytelling, but like, when it actually contributes smth? like in sumeru heist going from different parts of the plan makes sense bc we get to see how plan unfolds. boothill and sparkle literally didnt do anything that mattered tho, so like... we got to hear boothill being hey pardner at dan heng for like 20 minutes and nothing came out of it. they need to get an editor for real....

i have no faith in how they handle IPC at all after this one tbh. can we fucking stop with woobyfied sexy slavers. is it too much to ask

firefly was. a character indeed. like tbh im not loving how they use this "elio script" to just have stellaron hunters do whatever shit is convinient for plot with no logic or inner motivation. like she had zero reason to be here, zero personal goals. like its just cheap. also did she like die?? there was dialogue with raiden where shes like we should do it bc firefly cant go back to real world without dying, so we should honor her. did they like kill her off screen???

but like yeah, 2.0-2.1 AND part of 2.2 was like "capitalism sucks", but then it just goes ACSHUALLY capitalism is just natural order, should poor\weak ppl even have right to decide for themselves???? like what even the fuck

#rhine talks

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fayedartmouth · 1 month ago

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Oh no please ramble as much as you like i love hearing your thoughts

AND YES FUCK YEAH WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID

Even when jj hit rock bottom at the show we didn’t get any closure like you are telling me that boy who went on full alcoholic borderline suicidal and no one was there to help?? Wdym jj was telling pope he should have let the cop shoot him and pope didn’t do anything? Wdym jj was drinking a whole bottle and being distant for days and the rest of the pogues were too busy playing card games and rolling their eyes at his “antics”??Wdym jj told kie that luke is back and that he isn’t his actual father after all the abuse he endured and all we got was “sorry jayj :/” like sorry but my “do you have any idea how special your son is” kie would never

The only good thing we had is the “because jj loved you when he shouldn’t have” line at the courthouse and that. Is. It.

Even john b talking to jj about him becoming a godfather was absolute shit show and im sorry but it felt borderline selfish to me like my best friend is having an identity crisis oh wait let me talk to him about something good happening to me to make him happy and then getting mad at jj for lashing out when he was obv in a not good mental state of mind to process shit?? Like how about you talk to him about the cause of his depression and offer some reassurance instead??

The writers didn’t handle his arc well not at the beginning where they just made him suffer for fun (like why the hell did they make him open his mother casket and then getting locked in with the said casket that shit was creepy and scary even to me) not at the middle where he just suffered and nobody cared and definitely not at the ending where he suddenly had a moment of “realization” with no proper build up whatsoever (mind you his realization included endangering himself to save Sarah and yeah i do know it’s in character for him and it does make sense but the timing felt so off?? Like this is supposed to be his wake up call but they only let the suicidal character do a suicidal mission it only made me think that he realized he shouldnt wallow in sadness and come in terms with his feelings but do something productive instead like sacrificing himself for his friends as if that’s the only thing he’s worthy of)

What jj told kie during his death is 100% words to comfort her while i do believe that his family and kie is everything he ever wanted it’s still not something he already got but just starting to get like that boy only had two years of happiness with his family there was still so so much more ahead of him and it all got taken away

Now im the one who’s sorry for rambling lmao I didn’t realize how angry i still am at the writers until now BUT it also makes me more excited for your fix it. I can’t wait to devour it and so thankful you’re writing it seriously.

Can i ask a few questions though? Will you keep some of the plot lines like sarah pregnancy and luke not being jj biological father? If you don’t want to answer it’s totally okay im just really excited and curious with the fix it as a whole lol

Haha, I'll just drop the cut now and ramble, then.

It was just so weird because I thought the set up in Part 1 worked so well? Like I was ready to roll with it all? JJ messing up -- sure, that's in character. The bomb about his family -- okay. I think him finding out he's a Kook could be so well played. I was ready for his identity crisis and him choosing to be a Pogue first and foremost -- and him redeeming the loss of Poguelandia 2.0 with accepting Goat Island for their new home. Like -- it had such a clear arc to me that made so much sense and worked so well and allowed JJ to face some of his issues and come out on top.

I have to think that was the plan. And the writers just -- like -- threw their hands up when Rudy wanted out. Which is what I'm assuming happened but obviously don't know. It's the only explanation that even comes close to explaining the total chaos of part 2 because it is total chaos.

And just so badly done. LOL, like I can't even get over how many dropped plot points there were and how they threw all of JJ's parentage in there and him being a Kook -- and it meant nothing. Literally it meant nothing. And Groff killing him at the end was even undercut by the fact that Groff had already tried to murder him a few episodes before. It was just -- why???

But yeah to your points. The entire boat ride sequence I think was totally botched. Like JJ saying that to Pope and then it's just people playing games and getting annoyed with him. It's like -- RAFE got better treatment than JJ from the Pogues at this point. And I mean I understood John B's idea with telling him about being godfather but like sheesh JB, read the room. You think maybe talking about fatherhood might trigger JJ who has been abused and abandoned by both his fathers? When he had a father just try to kill him? I have to think maybe we just lost some scenes where they tried to talk to him but like he was having serious issues and I'm sure it would be difficult to live with him like that -- because he's THAT badly depressed and suicidal. JJ never got to talk once about any of it -- about being a Kook about his dad trying ot kill him about being abandoned so many times. I mean Groff trying to kill him after a lifetime of Luke's abused -- JJ's got to just be like, well maybe they're right. Maybe I shouldn't be here.

And I mean I LOVED JJ saving Sarah, I did. And I loved JB and JJ's reunion. But there was something completely wrong about it in that it reinforced JJ's unhealthy perception of himself. He got that love and support -- after he threw himself away. The lesson he got was that he mattered most when he gave himself up for his friend. It's all utility. JJ doesn't see his own inherent value and why would he? How could he?

JJ seeing his mother's body -- being in the crypt -- I mean the whole thing is just horrible. Like Groff's manipulation of JJ -- his attempted murder -- like JJ had to be so unmoored by it and he was barely keeping it together as it was. His identity crisis basically pushed him to conclude that -- kook or pogue, he was worthless and a waste of space except for what he can do for his friends.

Which is all he believed when he died.

I mean it's just honestly one of the saddest ends to a character who deserved so much more. Like anything the Pogues do now misses the point. They can try to get revenge; they can honor JJ's loyalty. But they missed it. They missed the fact that JJ died thinking he was worthless and that he didn't deserve the happy ending anyway. They can't fix they; they can't redeem it. The Pogues failed JJ in the most fundamental ways possible. I know JJ is the one who dug his own grave and buried it, but it is the Pogues who have to live the rest of their lives with it, right? And the more I have thought about JB's monologue, the more I hate it. JJ didn't live some short glorious life. JJ lived an awful life with 18 months of respite. He was a victim from the day he was born, and he was victimized the day he died. Yeah, he gave himself up for his friends, which is noble. And his friends? Never told him that he mattered to them.

(To be fair, I did appreciate that Kie's last words to him were that she loved him. That was -- at least something.)

But no matter what the Pogues accomplish, the failure haunts everything for me. Not just that JJ died. But that JJ died at his absolute worst, telling them that he got everything he wanted (because he never believed he deserved more).

BUT ANYWAY.

Yes, the fix-it will follow ALL of the S4 storyline. Literally all of it. Everything you see on screen happened. Just -- like -- not the way you think it happened. Luke, in fact, has a significant role in the entire fic, and JJ is going to deal with the legacy from both his fathers (and eventually his mother). It is my goal to take the storylines that the show started -- and actually finish them instead of just cutting them off prematurely. So Groff, Luke, Larissa, Goat Island -- and even JJ's depression, suicidal ideation, and alcoholism are all going to be significant plot points. The show set this up very very dark and I'm going to actually let him face that and get through it.

And yeah, Sarah's pregnant. Pope has to figure out what to do with his life. John B has to become a dad. And I struggled with giving Cleo a plotline but I think I came up with something where she gets to have the family she never had. And poor Kiara gets it almost as bad as JJ, because she's going to lose herself almost completely. I'll even finish Rafe's redemption even though I'd rather not. But I'm using what S4 gave us completely.

#my asks

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