#but yeah i keep so much stuff like whos keeping receipts just to be keeping them but me 😭😭

[selfryed]

i hate being a person who has to keep EVERYTHING bc its either "memorabilia" or "ill need this later" like no pookie youll never use this again and you barely remember things anyway so what memory is it gonna be 😭😭😭

[everythingispirates]

🏴‍☠️lowlyseaman

I love not having scurvy 👍

1 note

🦢w3nch

breaking mutuals with @/forgeguy don't ask me about it this is the last I'll say on the matter

🍹jackoff follow

omg did something happen :(

🦢w3nch

shut the fuck up never fucking talk to me again I'm so srs

🍹jackoff follow

kys

12 notes

🦢w3nch

i miss him so fucking much i can't fucking do this anymore

2 notes

🩻bigbarbie

this fucking meeting sucks I'm going to firebomb shipwreck cove

67 notes

👁️raspghetti

little life update I feel like I'm honestly really coming around on this prosthetic eye idk it's really starting to feel like a part of me now :') I hope I never have to lose it or anything

0 notes

🇬🇧kingofenglandofficial follow

piracy is a SCOURGE on these seas!!! EMBARRASSING!

🏴‍☠️iheartstealing follow

give me your stuff

☠️quarterdeckmain follow

omg I can't believe we still have piracy antis on this website to this day like this is literally the high seas piracy website go back to ye olde twitter

🩻bigbarbie

"piracy antis" girl that's the king of england

12,429 notes

⚔️forgeguy

I can't keep going like this I can't believe I did that to her I'm such a failure I should just kms like I literally don't deserve to be on this earth

⚔️forgeguy

just remembered some things. nevermind lol

⚔️forgeguy

remembered some more things and I want to die again I was so fucking wrong

4 notes

🍹jackoff follow

and when I drop the ***** aka ********* receipts then what. lol. lmao even

🦢w3nch

bitch give us a fucking vowel

🩻bigbarbie

yeah um just so everyone knows op literally shot me on isla de muerta so I'm really not interested in their receipts

🎣humblefisherman follow

what the fuck is going on on pirate ye olde tumblr

572 notes

🍹jackoff follow

everyone keeps calling me a liar they just hate to see a wench who tells it like it is

⚔️forgeguy

literal 100+ pages ye olde google doc of times op has lied

104 notes

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

you would actually not believe how much harder it is to girlblog when your fingers are turning into fucking shrimp or whatever

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

captain has it fucking easy

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

they're gonna whip me for this one lads :/

5 notes

🦢w3nch

anyone else riddled by guilt? clap if you're riddled by guilt

2 notes

🦀 follow

the second I'm free of this stupid flesh prison I'm putting a curse on this entire fucking website

🦐morehumblerfisherman follow

op what the fuck is this why do you not have an url

🦀 follow

the sea will claim you in five years. use your remaining time wisely

🦐morehumblerfisherman follow

sure yeah whatever. I'll fucking do that I guess.

196 notes

🏴‍☠️lowlyseaman

got scurvy 👎

0 notes

[pupkashi]

scrapbooks

satoru doesn’t get the point of scrapbooks, until he does

a/n: hi hi ! wrote this silly little thing on a whim, i hope u guys like it !! plz let me know what y’all think :3

wordcount: 1,013

masterlist

satoru claims he’s not a sentimental person.

what’s so great about life that you’d want to be reminded of daily tasks?

he never kept receipts, he never took pictures, never kept any souvenirs. saturo was simply not a nostalgic or sentimental person

you were the most sentimental person he’d ever met.

every outing he’d ever seen you at you were talking selfies with friends, stuffing receipts in your pockets and any other little things. he still recalls the look on your face when he caught you shoving a small flower into your bag, ‘it’s for my scrapbook’ you had explained, smiling up at him nervously.

life is so fleeting, why wouldn’t you want to remember every passing moment with those you love and care for?

anytime the two of you left tokyo for missions together, he always ended up in a gift shop, him trailing you as you bought souvenirs for the others, getting yourself a postcard to write on, documenting the day and placing it in a box in your room.

satoru wasn’t sentimental, until he found himself falling in love.

he found himself pulling his phone out a bit more often, “pose guys!” he grinned, the camera already flashing as his friends laughter echoed in his ears, your giggles making his smile grow even wider.

after the two of you went to watch a movie together, he caught himself putting the ticket stub gently behind his black card in his wallet. the polaroid picture of the two of you from last month staring him in the face anytime he opened his wallet.

he has a pressed rose petal nestled in the pages of his brand new scrapbook, a reminder of the day he asked you to be his.

you didn’t catch onto his antics until after one of your dates, satoru reaching for the receipt before you could.

“oh! can i keep it?” you giggled, “I wanna put in my scrapbook rather than you just throwing it out.” satoru’s ears burning red as he held the receipt.

in the two seconds he stared at the receipt his mind raced. what should he say? ‘no i wanna keep this to remember this date years to come’ or maybe ‘yeah sure.’ does he play it cool? should he keep his newfound nostalgic side a secret?

“i wasn’t gonna throw it out” he smiled sheepishly, “i started uh keeping stuff.”

“really?”

“really” he laughs, smiling at you when your mouth hangs open a bit. “is it so hard to believe that i would have a scrapbook of my own?” he pouts.

“you have a scrapbook?” you grin, eyes widening. satoru’s blush only grew deeper, lips pouting a bit as he turned to look to the side.

“i mean yeah it’s not anything crazy” he mumbles, fiddling with the receipt in his hands, “sometimes you just wanna remember things or whatever.”

you found it hard to believe that the man sat across from you was the same one who had groaned when you made him stop for souvenirs on your first mission together.

“did you replace my satoru? should i be concerned right now?” you tease, narrowing your eyes at him.

satoru can only roll his eyes, stuffing the receipt into his pocket before standing up and holding his hand out for you.

“so I’m your satoru now?” he smiles, the bright red reducing itself to a tinge of pink as he teases you, his usual cockiness returning with the glint in his eyes.

“we are dating aren’t we?” you quipped, eyes narrowing at him as the two of you walked into the warm air outside. “or are you trying to imply you aren’t mine” you pout, a dramatic sigh leaving your lips as you turn to face opposite satoru.

“cmon sweetheart you know I’m all yours” he smiles, his arm wrapping around your waist and much too easily pulling you into his chest. “no one else for me but you,” his words sincere as they settle on your ears, your heart thumping against your rib cage as you smile up at him.

satoru wishes he could capture the look in your eyes, the glimmer of galaxies that he could spend hours on end exploring. he wishes he could have this moment engraved into his heart and never forget even a second of the day.

but then again, he thinks that anytime he’s around you. he wishes he could keep photos of everytime you smile, he wishes he could record every second of your laughter and tattoo the way you smile up at him when he flusters you.

life with you moved quickly in the best ways possible, he found the moments around you too fleeting for his liking.

satoru found himself taking pictures and videos anytime the two of you were out or together, a whole album full of you and whatever the two of you were doing. his scrapbook is slowly filling up with receipts, letters, flower petals, and everything that makes up your relationship.

and it’s as he’s snapping a picture of you reading, in the comfort of your shared home that he finally understands.

love is what makes life so great.

you are what makes life so amazing. you make him want to remember every second of everyday. you make him want to recall the dozens of times the two of you stood at the kitchen sink, washing and drying dishes. you made him want to cherish the normalcy of everyday life and fleeting moments.

satoru gojo is sentimental.

and he’s reminded of that with every picture he takes of his students, friends and his lover. he’s reminded of the fact when he stuffs receipts into his pockets and souvenirs into the shopping cart.

more importantly, he’s reminded of that when he’s looking at you, like you hung the moon and painted the sky full of stars. he’s trying his best to memorize your every feature, the shape and tint of your lips and the hue of your eyes.

satoru gojo was in love, and it made him want to remember every second of everyday.

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi @orihimeii

[cherrysurf]

Coffee cake after dark | k. tsukishima x reader

chapter 2; mutual night owl (perchance not proofread)

It was another night at your cozy cafe business had been steady throughout the day and night, it did drizzle a bit during the late afternoon which created quite the ambience at the cafe, it was now around 11pm and and a group of girls had just left the cafe after ordering your cutely designed milkshakes that were famous for presentation and taste. Now you had some alone time yet again which was nice you placed a shipment of ingredients that you needed before you completely ran out for the month which would be bad, and you decided to whip up a quick matcha while checking the order confirmation and browsing on social media, as you sit there your mind comes across the tall blonde from last night you giggle out loud a bit recalling the look of his worried face after you handed him the extra snacks as if on cue you hear the doorbell ringing you look up to find the tall blonde man you were thinking about just now, you feel your cheeks grow warmer out of embarrassment as you quickly get off the chair and walk over to the register slightly checking yourself out in the silver coffee machine fixing your hair “hi welcome back what can i get for you?” you say to him nervously now and you had no idea why “yea i guess so, you’re cafe is really convenient since your open so late” he says while browsing over the menu “yeah who knew being a night owl would work out for my bakery” you laughed lightly observing his face has he scanned the menu, since you stupidly didn’t look away fast enough he looked down to face you and caught you. you immediately turn away out of pure embarrassment yet again “please go away” ur thinking in your head. “all set to order?” you managed to spit out “yeah, can i do the tea you gave me yesterday i’m assuming it was the rose one and then a plain croissant” he says “okay, if you don’t mind me asking do you not eat that much or?” you say probably feeling stupid for asking but it was genuine concern, you managed you pull a half cracked smile that almosted wanted to turn into a laugh but didn’t “ah no actually i do but i cook at home, your food here keeps me somewhat less hangry till im able to get home” he says pulling out his wallet “ah i see well that’s good” you say staring at him once “well your total today is gonna be 10.25” you say once, like yesterday he slides his card in and takes his receipt and sits down where he did yesterday to pull out the same book, has your cafe become apart of his schedule now? your face flushes at the thought of that, you don’t understand why it’s been feeling like your sick around this man but it was bad or maybe it wasn’t you had no idea nor did you care to really think about it right now, you quickly finished his order and head to hand it to him “thank you” he mutters before putting his book down and looking at you, “of course my pleasure” you say giving a slight nod and walking off back up front before you ended up wandering deep into your mind thankfully another customer showed up it was a girl, you could tell she was a college student by the laptop and books she had in hand. she she sets her stuff down at a table and starts making her way over to the counter, “hi welcome is there anything i can get you today” you say smiling “uhm can i just have a small vanilla latte please” she says “yeah of course 5.50 is gonna be your total” you say ringing it up, you slightly look up to catch a glimpse at the tall man only to find him not so subtling staring at you as well, but he quickly turns away and focuses his attention back to his book, you manages to bring you a small smile, the girl now hands you the cash, and you give her change back “okay it’ll be right out in a second” you say “ okay cool thanks” the girl says as she walks off as your making her latte you find her catching glimpse of the blonde man that you’ve seen these past two days, “sus…” you thought but quickly fixed your face into a forced smile walking towards her with the latte “here you go hope you enjoy” you say wanting to get the conversation over with “thanks, by any chance does he come here often” she says as she

points at him, “uhm no not really i’ve only seen him two times” you say which was true so it’s not like you were lying “ah okay thanks do you think he’s single” she continues to pry “maybe you should ask him” you say trying not to sound rude “okay wish me luck” she says smiling as she fixes her hair in the laptop screen “hahaha will do” you say walking away rolling your eyes VOMITTT why were you so jealous. you don’t even know him like that but clearly took an interest “okay whatever let it go yn” you say to yourself as you walk to the counter to clean up the coffee station. then suddenly you peak over to find her walking over to him and hear the conversation “hi i think your really cute what’s your name” she say batting her eyelashes, he takes a moment before he looks up at her blankly “tsukishima. and i’m not interested.” he says bluntly “oh why do you have a girlfriend” she says trying to pry him now “no i’d just like to get back to my book thank you.” he says once again, before you break out laughing you duck down behind the counter to silently giggle at the whole ordeal going down. so two thing you're sure about now he’s name is tsukishima and he’s single, so that’s good as you sit on the floor giggling to yourself still you hear a thundering voice say “thanks for the tea and pastry i’m leaving now goodbye” he says looking at you over the counter clearing still sitting on the floor “uh-uh yeah of course goodbye” you say now your cheeks turning embarrassingly red as you see him walk out the door “what the fuck” you say sliding down back on the floor feeling like you just got whiplash from the whole situation.

taglist; @kawoala @toorusfangirl @gumims @kokokoula @anonymity-222 @thechaosoflonging @abzyissupersleepy @hwanghyunjinismybae @chilichopsticks @heartmaddie

if you want to be added or removed lmk!

[melmedardasworld]

Bonnie would be the only actual one on the show with a strong and good enemies to lovers storyline no matter who you pair her with (Jeremy excluded).

She can fight against them (most being supernatural themselves) on equal footing, and she wouldn’t make ten million excuses for her s/o's ass not even if they were in the lover stage. Granted, she would make (some) allowances as we saw her do once she fully accepted the Salvatores (mainly when she became besties with Damon) on her end. I have my grip on how that was handled because the writers really suck with relationships and pushing certain dynamics whether platonically or romantically (for all the girls, btw).

But as the seasons progressed, Bonnie got more colder and self preserving because of her experiences. So the whole 'Bonnie is too moral', 'Bonnie would never', 'They hurt her...', doesn't hold as much. At least, it doesn't until she finally accepts them in her circle of loved ones.

I mean, she says it herself.

Bonus: Look at Enzo's jealous ass when he talks about Bonnie having Damon's back.

She calls him out, and Enzo's yeah, keep on yapping, but I want that from someone too. Sidenote: Bonnie bringing up family so fiercely like that, I know it hurt her deep down too because her parents just... existed in her life.

Though it takes a while for her to warm up, that fits the enemies to lovers' slow burn.

Lmao, my girl can be petty and nasty if you get on her wrong side and hurt her friends and family. Bonnie won't hesitate to tell them off and beat their ass into submission (and most of them lowkey loved it and became obsessed with her).

Anyway, the TVD writers can not write proper enemies to a lovers' and while they tried to do it with other ships, it was far from what I personally classify it as. They also didn't take the time to develop stuff when it came to Bonnie. It was usually half assed or came out of the blue (see the Twitter receipts and interviews about her canon relationships if you do not believe me).

[heartfullofleeches]

Ok this is a little self insert but i couldn't stop thinking about this all week, C.C with a reader who thinks they're undeserving of stuff even tho they work hard ( you can see I'm going through it )

Let me explain, like they'll walk through the mall and see something that they like and would phisically have to turn away cause they think they don't deserve it and everytime they do this they look like they're in pain and stuff cause they are , emotionally.

Another thing they don't let C.C buy them stuff even if he offered with the excuse ,, but what are you going to buy me on my birthday" cause their birthday Is the only day that they cant say no

( sorry if it was a little but long )

It's his fifth run of the week. The incubus complained about forgetting to by a belt to match the new skirt he bought when he probably had a dozen in his horde to go with it. Exploring the mall, you stuck to your boyfriend's- not that he'd let you go far; complimenting every impulse buy and keeping your eyes on him to avoid gazing at shop windows. Still, you couldn't help but look at look around as you waited for him to exit the dressing room. You immediately regret the decision as you catch sight of a jacket that'd go great in your imaginary wardrobe. It's just take up space in your real one, so there was no point in dwelling on it.

"Hey babe, star buckle or heart?... Hm?" C.C marches over to see what's for you in a trance, bending with his hands to his knees as he whispers - "so - what are we staring at?"

You snap back to reality- eyes pointed down at his skirt. " Oh - uh, looks great, C."

He frowns. "This is the one I came in here with."

"..Still looks good on you."

He bounces to his feet with a sigh. "True - but this skirt just doesn't agree...." He trails off as he catches sight of something over your shoulder - sprinting of towards the mannequin wearing the same jacket you had noticed and tearing it off it's arms.

"Oh my gosh, isn't this just the cutest??? I was needing a new coat too so it's perfect timing. Think it'll look good on me, baby?"

Your shoulder slump. "Yeah....I'm sure it will."

C.C pays for his items and skips merrily out the mall with his task complete; bags in one hand and your hand in the other. He walks over to a bench and takes out his new coat, tearing off the tags and placing them and the receipt in the cigarette tray above the trashcan. He whips out his lighter and sets both ablaze as he faces you.

"Now I can't return this.... Alright, you little shit - how much longer are we going to play this game?"

"What are you talking about?"

C.C stomps over to you, shoving the jacket into your chest. "You want this fuckin' thing and don't try to deny it. It's true it would look amazing on me, but it would look even better on my boo. You are mine, right?."

"I-I guess, but-

"But nothing. You deserve every fucking thing your beautiful heart desires and it's my job as your man to give it to you." He pulls the jacket away, walking over to a puddle by the road. " - but if you really don't want it, you should have no problem with me throwing it away."

"Don't!" You run over to stop him - his fingers losing hold only when you're in range to grab the coat as it falls. The demon sports a grin as you discover the jacket is in your exact size. He pulls you in with an arm around your waist, nuzzling and placing a kiss to your cheek.

"Don't feel bad about wanting things, Y/n. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest and material objects are just another part of it. If it'll make you happy then let it. Plus, it's sorta my job to lead you down the path of temptation as a demon and all - but I'm your boyfriend first and more importantly.

You shut an eye as he kisses near your lids. "Thank, C.C..."

"Don't mention it. Now c'mon - we gotta get back before the deliveries get there."

"You order more things when we we're literally still at the mall?"

"Pfft - you think I'm blind? Baby, I watch you literally every second we're in that place because if I don't some little tramp might try to snatch you up. Guess you'll be sitting pretty on my lap tonight cuz it's Christmas time for you~"

[moochalove]

Should've Ordered For Pickup…

This is an Au from my OTHER fic(s) with Pregnant/Mother! Reader!! If you want you can read this as part of it though! (I did keep the same idea just without the dark themes)….

I think my brain has been itched so I will be moving on from this whole idea that's been rotting my brain… 👍 So if you have any fic ideas feel free to share! Anyways!!!

It feels like you’ve been standing in line forever, your feet are killing you and your back hurts from the baby that is currently resting on your chest. You should’ve ordered your stuff for pickup… but it’s not like it was a lot of things either…this is taking forever, and you’re starting to get hungry! You salivate at the thought of what your husband has cooked for dinner, it almost eases you a little. Taking a deep breath you readjust your posture and clutch the small bag of fruits and vegetables you were looking to buy. “Almost done, sweetheart, then we can go home to Daddy! Doesn’t that sound nice?” you whispered in a hushed voice since your son seemed to have dozed off.

You’re startled by a voice that comes from behind, “Y/n? Is that you?” Of course, you’d recognize that cute voice anywhere, “Ayaka?” Taking a deep breath you turn around to greet her more properly. Yeah, you’re tired and you’d rather not talk to anyone right now, but she’s just trying to be nice. “How have you been Y/n? I haven’t seen you in forever. Not since…” Immediately noticing how she trailed her words you figured she’s heard about what happened between you and Kazuha. “Haha, yeah, it’s been a while. So… what brings you here?” She holds up a small plastic bag that’s full of cleaning supplies, “I wanted to help our back at the house but instead they sent me to go get things. I suppose this is a form of helping.” You lifted your bag of groceries in response, “Me too, I tell him I can cook my own food but he swears I do too much and that I must be tired. Oh well, I’m pretty tired when I get home anyways so I suppose it’s fine!” Ayaka turned her head in confusion as she looked at you up and down before her eyes settled on your resting baby, “So you’re dating someone?”You’re taken aback for a moment before you smile in response, “I’m actually married,” you flaunt the big rock on your ring finger towards her, and her eyes widen in shock from the jewel that casually sits on your finger, “I-it’s beautiful, Y/n!” She bows apologetically, “I’m sorry- I spoke out of line. Forgive me!” A laugh escapes your lips as you motion for her to rise, “It’s okay. You didn’t overstep any boundaries.” Her chest rises and falls in relief upon hearing those words. “Uhm, so… if you don’t mind me asking…” “Yes?” “Whose baby is that you’re holding?” Your frown curls into a smile as you turn to an angle to where she can see the baby’s face, “My sisters. I just thought I’d bring him along with me today.” Ayaka’s eyes sparkle with admiration as she coos over how cute he is. When she gets closer, she can’t help but feel like she’s seen that face before…

A voice shoots from behind, once again. “I’m back Ayaka-“ This time you freeze. Of course, she’d be here with him, why didn’t you think about that? Maybe while she’s distracted you make a run for the self-checkout that happens to be on the other side of the room. Yeah, that sounds like it’ll work! Plus, he shouldn’t recognize you so there’s no need for him to follow. You think a quick prayer, hoping Ayaka doesn’t tell him about you. Their conversation seems to be playing out normally and you take this chance to step out of line and speed-walk towards self-checkout.

As you input your items (since you can’t just scan them…) one by one, you exhale in relief. Almost done! Soon this’ll all be over and- where’s your card? Scrounging through your wallet you look for it in each slot. No, no, none of these are it! You can feel yourself start to get annoyed but the machine beeps before spitting out your receipt, your eyes turn towards the person who slid their card, and when your eyes land on the culprit you can practically feel yourself crack. “K-kazuha…! You really didn’t need to… but thank you… If you just give me a sec to go to the ATM I’ll get you some cash-“ He shoves the piece of paper into your grocery bags, and the next thing you know you’re being dragged out of the store by the wrist.

“Owowow-“ inhaling sharply through your teeth you caress your wrist, “No need to be rough…” Your eyes avoid looking at him but you can feel his heavy gaze on you. “So… why did you bring me out here? I kinda have somewhere to be.” “Why did you leave me.” It wasn’t a question it’s more like he was demanding an answer… Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, sheepishly you reply, “I got busy, I guess.” His eyebrows quirk in frustration and he grabs your hands, pining them above your head. “Now’s not the time to act coy, Darling.” “Ah, and there it is. Are you still upset that I up and left you? Or maybe when I-“ You’re cut off abruptly by the sound of a baby’s laughter, you try and speak again but every time you open your mouth a giggle erupts from the infant. Kazuha releases you from his firm grip as he takes a few steps back, “You had a baby?” “My sister had a baby, to be more precise..” you reply sharply all while you wiggle your hands in front of your baby, causing him to giggle and smile. He stared at the baby for a few minutes, analyzing the way his red eyes lit up whenever you made a silly face, and he took notice of the striking red strand that accompanied his short h/c locks. It didn’t take him long to put two and two together, his slender fingers come up to your child’s much pudgier ones,

“That’s funny, I don’t seem to recall ever sleeping with your sister.”

“Well, Kazuha, you sleep with a lot of women. Sure you didn’t skip out on her charming face?”

“No, the only charming face I seem to recall is yours.”

“…”

“Is this my child, Y/n?”

You’ve stopped playing with your son and turned towards Kazuha, “So what if he is? What's it matter to you?” He smiles in response, he’s already heard everything he needed to hear. “No difference in fact, I’m not too fond of kids, to be honest,” he pulls his hands away from the small yearning ones that reach out for him when he pulls away, “So I think you’ll heart knowing that I don’t want any part of this kids life.” Your mouth opens slightly at his harsh words, and your fist clenches into a ball, “I never asked you to be part of it anyways, in fact- I already have a loving partner who enjoys being his father anyways,” A small huff came from Kazuha, he didn’t want to say anything and just let it be, but he couldn’t hold his tongue, “Oh, and who might that be? I truly doubt someone would want to stay with someone so… messy.” It hurt a little knowing he targeted you, the younger you, who was scared and insecure, but you knew you would feel all the better. “Oh, I actually think you might know him.” A smile crept up on your face as you felt pride being able to flaunt your lover, “I don’t if you remember him- oh, what am I saying? Of course, you do, yknow, he was kinda your roommate for a while? You know- the one with purple hair, anger issues, cocky, and- ah, the one mended my heart back together after you dumped me, at MY birthday party.”

Your heart sinks when you realize you raised your voice. Not because you cared about his feelings, but because of your baby, his face is churned in distress from your loud voice, and he begins to cry out loud. Inhaling sharply, you open your mouth to say something, but you swallow your words. All Kazuha could muster up was a chuckle and a sigh, he was clearly upset. Shooting him one last glare you walk off, gently patting your son's back, and trying to calm him.

He reaches out to you, but you avoid his touch and towards him with a sour expression, "Now what do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" "I- Are you guys really..." His eyebrows furrow as he shakes his head, "No, what I mean to ask is if you told Ayaka about, y'know..." With a deep sigh, you respond in a cold tone, "No. No, I didn't tell her because it’s not really her business.” All he can do is smile and nod before he watches you walk away.

Maybe one day he would come to regret that choice, but you couldn’t care less. Even if he tried to be part of your son’s life you would allow it only if your son wanted to. For now, though, you guys were a happy little family. Your son has a loving father who spoils him with love and affection, and whenever you come home from work you’re always met with your husband playing and chasing your child around the house. Your heart melts with sappy feelings as you watch your husband and son both light up when they see you walk through the door. You could go on forever about how much you love them both but you won’t..

When you get home you set down your son on his high chair and you slouch forward as you exhale loudly, carrying him around on your chest reminded you of when you were pregnant. Once you wash up you’re back at the dining table and you’re drooling over the food your husband set out for you. Ah, you suppose you should tell him about your little encounter at the store… After you eat of course!

You’re both relaxing in the living room playing a board game, you’ve already set the baby to sleep. As you roll the dice you remember you have to tell him, “So… Today, at the store, I ran into Kazuha and- “ Scaramouche grabs your shoulders as fear fills his heart, and his eyes widen as he looks into your e/c eyes, “He didn’t hurt you or s/n did he?!” For a moment yourself stunned by how close he is. Shaking your head you grab onto his shoulders to try and ease him, “No, Scaramouche, he didn’t do anything. Although, He did drag me to the parking lot and he figured out he’s s/n’s father.. But it’s no big deal! Really!” Your face is turning sour again as you recall what he said, “He did say some things though.” Scaramouche looked frazzled as he still clung to you, “What did he say? You’re not gonna leave me right? You-“ “What? No! I would never. Besides- he doesn’t want anything to do with s/n…” He let out a sigh he had been holding in and he wrapped his lanky arms around you, “I’m sorry y/n. It’s okay though, since I’m here for you both. I promise I’ll never leave you- even if I were offered eternal happiness- I would decline since I have you both!” Your face beams with a smile and your heart feels mushy. “Would it make you feel better if he suddenly went ‘missing.’ It wouldn’t take much for me to set that up!“ You softly punch him as your face feigns shock, “No! We can’t just make him disappear just because he hurt my feelings a little- I mean yeah it would be nice, but aren’t we above that-“ Scaramouche is smiling ominously as he casually says, “Of course we’re above that. But if it were for you- I’d stoop real low.” A laugh escapes your lips as you bury yourself in his neck, “I love you.” “Oh? What's this about?” His response sounds cocky but he’s patting your hair, “You trying to have another kid-?”

Once again, you punch him, but this time harder.

Although that doesn’t sound too bad..

[cosmicstarlatte]

Devil-Mart: Shopping (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

The brothers and you go grocery shopping. You can imagine what that's like.

»Characters: Demon Bros + very brief Dia and Barb

»Tags: Shitpost, Some Wholesomeness, Levi my boy, Dia is precious as usual, Bulleted Style

»Notes: Sorry I know I've mentioned this a few times but finally edited it to my liking. :'3 Alternatively I have another fic where they actually work at Devil-Mart if you haven't read that one lol.

Lucifer:

Grabs two carts, one being a race car type with two seats

"Levi! Belphie! Get in!"

OF COURSE HE STRAPS THEM IN

Puts a backpack leash on Asmo

"Beel, Mammon, get a cart each."

They're a big family so yeah they need a lot lol

"Satan, stay where I can see you!"

This man pulls out a CVS-receipt type of shopping list

You can practically hear western showdown music as he stares down another customer for the last bag of spicy newt chips

Hands Satan Asmo's leash

He wins the last bag of course

"SATAN! ASMO! Where did you go!?"

(Later)

"I have a coupon for this."

"Well the sale sign said-"

"Here's my rewards card."

"I have reusable bags, thank you."

Mammon:

Thinks grocery shopping is boring but only goes because of you

Is the reason the store started locking more stuff up behind glass cases

Has tried to bargain with workers and hopes it works one day

Confidently accepted Satan's bet (you tried to stop it)

He left his shopping cart with you

Next thing you know he gets on the intercom

"Lucifer! Daddy will find you! Don't cry! If anyone sees a black haired-"

Lucifer drop kicked him knocking him unconscious

[Security Liked This 👍 ]

Levi:

Happily gets in Lucifer's cart and continues gaming on his console

Is use to Lucifer strapping him in

Finds it oddly comforting

"Lucifer can we get the Ruri chan limited edition cereal!?"

"It's on the list."

"Lucifer! Don't forget we need more Hell Sodas!"

"It's on the list."

"Oh and my special Ruri shamp-"

"Leviathan."

[A few minutes later]

"...Hey Lucifer!"

"LEVIATHAN."

Satan:

Didn't want to come but Lucifer makes grocery shopping a family outing

Walks around reading a book

Bet Mammon he wouldn't get on the intercom and embarrass Lucifer

He knew he'd do it

He happily threw the grimm on his unconscious body

He took out the last jar of inferno bee honey from a families cart when they weren't looking

Occasionally crosses off Lucifer's snacks so he forgets them

Decided to ''save'' Asmo when he got the chance

Asmo:

Not the first time he's been on a leash

Just typed away on his D.D.D

Keeps trying to flirt with any cutie he sees

Lucifer yanks him away every time

However Lucifer does use him for discounts at the meat deli

Asmo doesn't mind he always treats it like a game to see what he can get 😏

Employees have fought for the chance to help him if he requires assistance

Was thankful when Satan saved him from Lucifer's watch

They went shopping at the cafe book store next door

Beel:

Loves grocery shopping, loves it

Always has to eat a giant meal before shopping otherwise he can't go

Food and family outing only the best duo!!!

Always feels guilty knowing the list is long because of him but he does his best to help Lucifer shop for the items

Pushed one cart with food and pulled the other with an unconscious Mammon inside

Is the reason the store stopped doing free samples

Belphie:

Immediately started snoozing when Lucifer strapped him into the cart

Doesn't care much for grocery shopping but doesn't fight it

Grannies always coo over him while he sleeps

"Oh what a cutie! The other one is kind of odd though..."

Lucifer always carries a sleeping Belphie back to the van while Beel packs the back of the van with you

Sure Beel could carry him but Lucifer insists its Beel's duty to help with grocery shopping as much as he can

Lucifer won't admit he has a soft spot for the youngest

Belphie won't admit he pretends to sleep so he can be carried by Lucifer

As you guys leave, you see Barbatos walking in, pushing Diavolo in his own race car cart who is happily "steering".

"We're going to the chips, Barbatos!"

"No, we are here for dinner ingredients my Lord."

"But I'm turning left!"

->[Dia & Barb art]

⬦You might also like: Coconut︱Mexican Restaurant︱Waffle House︱ You ARE The Father

[lol-jackles]

Whenever Anons tell me that Jared fans are just as bad as AAs and hellers, I always ask for receipts.

The reason they won't ever be able to provide this (besides the ones Jai & co have been exposed as having faked to frame Jared fans...) is they don't exist (I know you know this lol, just making a general statement). The thing is, AA's are soooo beyond sensitive that they literally think saying we don't like Jensen's outfit at a con, or that he looks tired, or that he's had botox is "hate". You say anything even remotely critical about Jensen? You must hate him. They take such personal offense to things that are barely a slight to Jensen as hate.

Jared fans on the other hand, have had over 16 years of dealing with the hate and insults and biting their tongues. They have a much thicker skin. They are getting more assertive and pushing back more nowadays, but they still had to stay quiet for 15 years to keep the peace because, for some reason, it fell on them (much like it falls on Jared).

Btw this is exactly how and why I left the Jensen fandom completely. I was a Jensen leaning J2 fan when I joined the fandom. Problem was that I didn't immediately turn on blinders to Jensen's behavior when I joined (like a good little Jensen fan is expected to). So I made a mildly critical comment about him and was dogpiled. I was told I wasn't a real fan and that I actually hated him and was just pretending to like him. I was called some pretty gross stuff and told I wasn't wanted there. And from people I really didn't expect (at the time I didn't expect it at least). That's when I realized there weren't a lot of "safe spaces" in the Jensen fandom and it was exhausting trying to get news about him from sites where I also had to see (tagged) Jared hate and them attacking other fans like me. It was just easier to not bother anymore.

I actually saw a few posts recently from TB/GenV fans who were really annoyed that Jensen had a cameo in GenV because it's annoying how he takes over and all the gifsets and everything are all him. They didn't want him on the spinoff because that was a show mostly safe from his fans. It took them less than one season to piss off TB and GenV fans. Jared fans put up with it for 15 years.

Thank you for sharing your history. This completely jives with the many private convo I had with Dean/Jensen fans laminating the lack of safe space within their fandom that doesn't include Destiel and/or hating on Sam/Jared (X) but also expected to never discuss Dean or Jensen other than a perfect victim because AAs viewed themselves as perfect victims that the world must change and cater to them. The only advice I could provide them was to go to original posts by Sam girls (because at least they respect the show's canon) and look at who are reblogging or liking with Dean's avatar or his name.

Yeah I never understood why it fell on Sam girls to keep the fandom peace by appeasing the demented Sam haters. Just like it fell on Jared to protect Jensen from Destiel hellers' campaign to slander Jensen as a homophobe (*wave hello to MallorytoyourMickey aka Heidi aka High-D aka my buddy!*) but they won't protect Jared from slanderous lies spread by their own fandom on social media.

Which is why AAs, hellers, and even Kripke get the shock of their lives when Sam/Jared girls do strike back because they're like cats - chill and indifferent but have murder mittens and Freddy Kruger hands when rudely poked.

I’ve joked that Jared’s stans’ response to the Prequel debacle was “I’VE BEEN FREED!"  They no longer have to support and defend Jensen especially now that SPN is over, then the Prequel debacle was the cherry on top because it gave them the ultimate permission to no longer do the geek social fallacy thing. And I like to think that Dean fans are also free from Ackles Army's death grip of the character now that they're moving on to The Boys fandom.

Speaking of which, I'm not surprised to hear TB/GenV fans are annoyed by the AAs. The soap opera and SPN fandom couldn't stand them, why would TB fandom be any different? As long as AAs view themselves as perfect victims, they don't believe they need to change their attitude.

[ca-suffit]

neilcfreak hasn't been seen in the fandom in a *long* time, so kind of fucking weird and obvious that nalyra gets a bait ask (which she knows is a bait ask) saying it *must* be bullying that caused it and listing every way neil was a good person. where tf has neilcfreak been much in the last year? besides a few months ago when she was trying to cover up for white fandom. nobody cares about u girl, nobody is rly sending these asks about u except ur own friends (or u lol).

anyway who wants neilcfreak's racist receipts :)

last year, ao3 was getting called out for never following up with their promises made in the wake of BLM 2020 to better protect users against racist harassment. neil and a black user commented on the same post, the black user replying to neil's comment u can see above of "if u don't like it make ur own site lol."

this white user (futureevilscientist) then random af pulled the asks out and tagged the black user at the start of the post to talk all this shit AT them fsr?

then later, neil shows up herself.

this is the part u cannot *cannot* say is not racist. neil is directly replying to a reblog of *someone else's main post* and placing full blame for a "call out post" on the *black* user.

she then pulls out her white jewish shit to speak over the main topic, which is racism / antiblackness.

playing oppression olympics can be done by any marginalized group but it usually works the best for white ppl because white ppl get the most sympathy when doing this (u want the most shining example, how often are we talking about white gay oppression in this fandom above racism / antiblackness, which is the *actual theme* of the show...or even gay oppression through a black pov, since u see louis experience that constantly. how much are we told that this show is rly about white gays and nothing else?). ppl assume whiteness is more innocent by default so will pile more on a black user for "being aggressive" towards a *white* jewish user without needing any proof. that's what neil was counting on here. she also then had a bizarre, loud breakdown on her account for extra assurance she'd be seen as "the real victim" (for making a stupidly racist comment in public). ohh yeah weaponize those white tears girl. she then "quit" tumblr for a while and when she came back, as mentioned in the linked post above, she had to again mention "drama" for good measure. "remember how I was bullied off this site u guys :("

white fandom was all over her dramatic distraction posts btw (nalyra commented on them too, so she is v aware this happened). v few people reached out to the black user or cared about the shit they were dealing with.

these white fandom ppl *never* have any receipts of bullying either, they just *say* it happens and flock to give hugs so it looks like lots of support is happening for a real "issue." but it's not real. everything they do is meant to manipulate u. this nalyra ask is still doing that.

when ur told what to think about someone or u can't find evidence of things happening beyond what anyone, even a group of ppl, *tells u* is happening then u need to rly remain suspicious of the reality of it.

these are asks that the black user got after this stuff happened. so now we've created a new issue from nothing and we're not talking about racism or how ur bullying a black user over literally nothing anymore. now it's suddenly all about poor neilcfreak and her white jewish identity and victimhood from a big, bad black fan. she's gotta make this all make her look like the real victim to cover up how embarrassed and stupid she felt for being called out on saying racist shit.

this is why white ppl need to understand these abusive techniques and get on ppl's ass when they pull this, not just leave it up to black and brown ppl to do. white fandom will cry all the white tears possible and claim ur talking over a white jewish person, being antisemitic. it's an attempt to emotionally manipulate u, keep talking (think of how often claims of antisemitism are used to shut down anyone being pro palestine, it's the same shit). this is racism. this is weaponizing an identity to cause harm to a black person cuz u were caught saying racist shit and want to deflect. if neilcfreak wasn't a huge racist she'd have *also* called this out and told ppl to stop doing this on her behalf. that would require her pulling her head out of her ass first tho and not sending these anons herself prbly.

I was looking for a different receipt to end on but found this instead, so let's talk about this too since we're here

here's neil after this shit went down, trying to make anne rice all kinds of marginalized identities so ppl can excuse her abusive shit too. she never said she was queer and she never identified as trans. u can't just label ppl shit because stuff they said sounds "close enough." she did enough harm as a cishet white woman can u all fuck off already with wanting to find more excuses for never wanting anyone to criticize this piece of shit.

good riddance, wretched bitch.

[jackfrostsisterssisterinlaw]

1st floor (the 8 show) - SPOILERS

this is just a few scattered thoughts. THERE ARE SPOILERS.

SPOILER ALERT

SPOILERS

THERE ARE SPOILERS

I was rewatching his ________ and I realised he didn't deserve that at all. He had control of everyone in the end. All the weapons were at his disposal. They were tied up and he could've started cutting their body parts or done something cruel that the higher floors like 8 probably would've considered, to be entertaining. But he only used himself as the source of entertainment. No one was a tool.

I know that he was absolutely horrendous before to the higher floors to extend the time and he definitely was cunning in not telling them about the room change, but can you blame him? They were all treated like absolute shit and were used as tools by the higher ups so it felt justified to do the same. That's where my dilemma comes in because although in the end he's his own tool, when he copies the higher ups he makes the others , tools.

Then I realised that his death might symbolise the hypocrisy of society. The 8th floor tortured every single one of them and her end was just getting arrested. He tried to regain some control but his actions ended in his death. The inequality of punishment because of the social hierarchy built in that room and outside, might be being highlighted.

Then moving back to how he was selfless in the end in terms of getting more time, it's a majority point of view that those with the least contribute the most right? Like you'll always hear stuff like stray animals get fed by the poor people while for the rich, hunger is something they don't understand. And I absolutely agree many people do contribute who are well off but the very fact that even with such little for themselves, they contribute and share the food they may have, might show how even with the least money he was able to be selfless and just use himself.

Yeah I guess the difference is he may have been selfish in wanting time but in the end everyone was going to get more money with his actions. And no one else was going to get hurt.

Im not exactly sure what to make out of the fact that he didn't tell anyone about the room change until desperation hit. I guess it shows no matter what a nice person you are, if you know knowledge of something will create conflict you are going to keep it to yourself. Sure its super devious but anyone could've asked about it. And also let's just say he did tell everyone about it. Everyone would just be wasting their money trying to buy each others rooms and realising how long they were expected to stay.

Along that idea, not so much about 1st floor but more on the whole show, the fact that fake is real within the show or real is fake, the whole scenario of the receipt was such an illusion. He never specifies how much it is to buy the 8th floor, and the game allows him to stay delusional because of the absurdity of switching room prices. Then the no pockets and the whole set up downstairs also highlights how everything is an illusion.

This whole thing is one big ramble. Share your thoughts please because his character is still so so intriguing. All of them are. So I'd love to know more thoughst and other interpretations

[fireworkss-exe]

okay. you’ve asked for it. this is the entirety of kendrick vs drake.

so there’s some previous co textual events but the main thing to know is that in october of 2023 drake and j cole released the song “first person shooter” where j cole asserted that himself, drake, and kendrick were the “big 3” of modern hip hop

kendrick didn’t take kindly to it and did a collab where he essentially said “fuck the big three, it’s just big me.” drake didn’t like this and released “push ups,” which is a diss on kendrick for a number of things that don’t really matter, like his height? it was super petty at this point.

a little after push ups, another drake diss got leaked. this one was called “taylor made freestyle,” and it was basically drake taunting kendrick for not responding to push ups and alleging it was because taylor swift had just released tortured poets department and kendrick couldnt release anything that might top her on the charts. drake kinda got in hot water for this one because he used ai to imitate 2pac and snoop dogg’s voices in it

anyway, then kendrick finally dropped a response. it was a six minute long track called “euphoria” where he just talked about how much he hated drake and how drake is a culture vulture and a ton of other stuff. then before drake had a chance to respond kendrick put out “6:16 in la,” which basically continued to call drake a terrible person, but also alleged that drake’s friends were feeding kendrick info on drake behind his back, the cover of this song was a picture of a black glove lying on a bed or something, which is important later.

so drake released “family matters,” a 7 minute long diss track where he basically calls kendrick short some more, accuses him of cheating on his partner and abusing her also, and alleges that one of kendrick’s kids is actually the result of his partner cheating on him with his best friend.

but no one remembers family matters because 30 minutes after it came out, kendrick dropped “meet the grahams.” this song was TERRIFYING. in the song, kendrick addresses drake’s family and basically apologises to them for having to be related to drake. he also calls drake a pedophile and says he thinks people like him “should die” and alleges that drake has a DAUGHTER who he keeps secret from the public. this is the song that makes it abundantly clear kendrick is on a crusade to make drake kill himself. also, the cover of this song is a zoomed out version of the picture from 6:16 in la. it shows receipts and pill bottles with drake’s name on them, indicating that the picture was taken in drake’s home. this pretty much confirms someone in drake’s friend group is feeding kendrick information.

the next day, kendrick releases “not like us,” which goes mega viral and is easily the most popular song to come out of the beef. it’s super catchy and upbeat and basically reiterates everything by kendrick has already said but on a sicker beat. he calls drake a “certified pedophile,” and accuses him of cultural appropriation and a host of other things. everyone regards this as marking kendrick’s victory.

drake releases a response, “the heart part 6,” but no one gives a shit because it’s awful. he basically says that people in his team are feeding kendrick false information to make him look stupid, but Drake doesn’t seem to realise how bad it looks to essentially say, “yeah we WANTED you to think i was a pedophile, to make YOU look dumb.” so all in all, kendrick wiped the floor with drake

thank god I have friends who know about pop culture from past the year 2000

[valerian-riverheart]

The Taco Bell thing … go on….

OH MY GOODNESS I KEEP FORGETTING TO SIT DOWN AND ANSWER THIS AAAA

Okay so context I used to work at Taco Bell for about a year and a third, and my friend and I would make jokes about what kind of customer the characters of our shared interests would be like!

This wouldn't usually be about a specific order, since sometimes it's hard to say what Taco Bell meal a character would have. Instead, I base them off the types of customers I've interacted with. I'll try the professors in ravenwood for example:

Cyrus Drake: 100% the type to have an extremely specific order and would know IMMEDIATELY if you do it wrong. He won't even take a look in the bag. Would go inside the building just so he can stare directly into the kitchen from the counter. One of the only people who gives feedback in the surveys on the receipts.

Moolinda Wu: Only orders a veggie power bowl and water with a side of cinnabon delights. Though she doesn't worry much if the order happens to be wrong- except if there's meat on the power bowl. She doesn't really come around at all unless she's there with someone else. Prefers the cinnabon delights still frozen.

Uhhh I don't know if I should Mallistaire, Dworgyn, or Malorn- but I might come back to add all three of them in a reblog if I want to oops

Lydia Greyrose: So sweet and understanding, though she will be very particular about how long the food takes to be done and avoids going in during rush hours. Lydia also likes frozen cinnabon delights, was the one to introduce Moolinda to them. Asks for a cup of vanilla creamer, the managers say it's fine. Usually goes drive thru.

Dalia Falmea: Asks for extra diablo sauce, is delighted if you put a comically large amount in a small bag for her. Orders a side of tomatoes no matter what she gets. She would walk inside the building but gets her food to-go. Really she's a typical costumer, but what are you supposed to do when a literally hot woman is towering over you as she ponders about how many supreme dorito tacos she would like??

Halston Balestrom: Mexican Pizza Fiend. He was jumping for joy when he found out they were coming back. The only person to order a coffee in Taco Bell for who knows why. Uses the drive thru in the most elaborately built car you've ever seen in your life. Makes sure you put a utensil in the bag because frankly he doesn't think Taco Bell's pizza is exactly "finger food".

Sorry for the Balance teacher enjoyers too but I kinda lost steam rn I'm kinda sleepy but honestly that's the kind of stuff I would ponder COSLEMMFMF I might come back to add the rest of the professors but yeah you get the gist!

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Hi Tumblr I'm back from the void again 🫣

Here is a list of Things That Have Happened:

I stopped a theft! Not by doing anything dramatic, just by opening a tackle box a guy was going to buy, and discovering the $200 worth of fishing lures inside. At first I was like "oh he put these in here to carry them more easily" but eventually it became clear he was trying to sneak them past me. I didn't realize it for sure until after he left without buying any of the items, and didn't return with more cash like he said he would. The whole time he was there, I assumed the best from him. I even was like "thanks for bearing with me while I check all the compartments of the box, you never know what people try these days! :)" the kicker is he could've just run out the door with it and he wouldn't have even had to pay the $20 for the box 💀

Head mgr Scott keeps understaffing us. On Sundays, this means Elliott's shift usually gets cut. Elliott has taken matters into his own hands and just shows up and clocks in anyway. Scott doesn't usually even realize Elliott is showing up unscheduled, he's just like "hi Elliott have a great shift" Jane and I are thrilled this is working, because not only do we love to work with Elliott and ofc i simp for him , but we always need the extra help cause it gets busy

I deescalated a Karen situation! Mgr Tasha was helping a customer return a backpack, but the customer kept pulling things out of the backpack to also return. They were all on separate receipts. And the customer paid cash for all of them. The woman got snippy with Tasha while Tasha counted change, and generally seemed in a bad mood. Tasha had more patience than usual, but I could tell she was ready to snap. So as the customer went out to her car to get more stuff to return, I loudly said to Tasha "you're doing a great job with those returns! That woman must really appreciate all the help!" so the woman could hear me. And it worked! She was much nicer when she came back in. For good measure, I handed out the customer survey card and went like "Tasha's too shy to hand this out herself [a/n: she's not, I just wanted an excuse to butt in] but if you have any positive feedback it's much appreciated if you give it here! It's completely optional, I just give it to you because when I see my people giving excellent customer service I want to make sure the customer can pass their compliments along if they wish" yes I implied I'm Tasha's boss which I'm not, but that seemed to work too bc the lady was like "yes thank you I definitely will :)" and after shopping around a bit went out of her way to thank Tasha as she left. Yippee!

Misogynistic customer :( an older guy with a middle eastern accent came in, and said to the other cashier "you work here? Someone help me" when the cashier (nonbinary but typically gets assumed to be female) started to ask what he wanted the guy told them "no not you." Didn't interact with him again until he came back from the shoe department, with Elliott carrying the shoes the guy wanted. As Elliott was setting the shoes down and trying to leave back to the shoe dept, the guy said "how much for soda?" I started to say but the guy cut me off and said "I ask him." Referring to Elliott, who was clearly trying to leave the area. Didn't like that!

I pulled a great power move! When I got to work last Friday, there was a pair of shorts sitting by the registers with a courtesy card attached to them. The card had a note "phone number was invalid" (there was no area code, and whoever left the note had tried all the common local ones to no avail) I looked at the card again and went "hold on i remember the guy who placed this order" the guy, well. When I asked him to write his phone number, he winked at me and Jane and said "I would've given it to you ladies anyway". So I made an executive decision that mister perv was not getting his shorts. I threw out the card and reshelved the shorts. Hell yeah

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song Part 2

I place the Neighborhood's album, Wiped Out!, on the turntable and drop the needle. It was definitely worth investing half of my life's savings into an expensive record player that connected to the store's high-end sound system. If you're gonna own a record shop, you have to splurge on what really matters— the music.

Since it's past eight at night, there's nobody working in the store except for me. We close in half an hour, and I never make Ash or David (my other employee) stay that late because we rarely get any customers after seven. Syd fell asleep in the bean bag chairs half an hour ago, so it might as well be just me.

But I don't mind because that just means I can turn up the volume and sing along without fear of embarrassment. "Cry Baby" comes on and I turn it up as much as I can without waking Syd.

I sing the lyrics as I check the records inventory, writing down which vinyls are currently rented out, or are out of stock and need to be ordered. I get so into the music that I don't even hear the door open.

A gentle hand resting on my arm scares the shit out of me and I turn around to face the culprit, a small squeal of terror escaping my throat. I sigh in relief when I see Florence standing there and not a robber or axe murderer.

"Oh my god, don't do that," I breathe out with my hand flat against my chest, feeling my heart race in fear.

"I'm sorry," she cringed in apology. "I didn't mean to scare you. I tried calling your name a few times but it seems you were kind of in your own world," she explains.

"No- yeah, no, it's good. We're cool," I stutter, embarrassed that she saw my...performance.

We stand there in silence for a moment, though it isn't awkward; small smiles and rosy cheeks fill the void, happily keeping discomfort from seeping into the interaction.

"So, um, I was just thinking maybe I could get a cup of tea? And I really like this album that's playing so could I possibly rent it out?" Florence asks suddenly.

"Oh, of course! I'll go make your tea first and then I'll grab a vinyl for you," I tell her, already walking toward the cafe counter. "For here or to go?"

"For here. I think I'll stick around for a bit, see if you've got any other recommendations for me," she answers cheerily.

"Oh, definitely. Fair warning, though: my music taste is all over the place. I'm talking classic rock to pop to death metal to alternative to- well, you get the point, so anything I recommend will probably be totally random," I ramble, at which her intoxicating laugh fills the small shop.

I hum lowly to the music as I prepare the Yorkshire tea. Just from the one time she came into the shop, I already remember exactly how she takes it. I can feel her eyes watching me as I pour the steaming hot water, but I pretend not to.

She sits on one of the stools at the cafe bar, and I set her tea down in front of her. We exchange a smile and I say, "I'm gonna go grab that record for you. I'll be right back."

She nods and I navigate the aisles, already knowing exactly where the Neighborhood's albums are. I run my finger along the shelf before picking up the nicest Wiped Out! vinyl in the store. Technically, we have a rental copy of each album and I'm not supposed to rent out the for-sale vinyls, but I'm the boss, so who really cares if I make an exception just this once?

She hands me her card as I walk by her table and I ring up her stuff at the counter. The receipt prints out and I check to make sure she's not looking before flipping it over and writing "Dr. Feelgood by Mötley Crüe is one of my favorite rock albums :)"

I slip the receipt inside the record cover and place it down on Florence's table. Turning to walk away, I stop when she says "Wait, have a seat! I want to know more about you."

Sitting down across from her with a small smile, I ask, "Well, what would you like to know?"

"For starters, your name would be nice," she quips.

"Ah, fair game. I'm Y/N. And you?" I return the question even though I already know the answer.

She slightly squints her eyes, probably trying to figure out if I'm messing with her, before saying "Im Florence. It's nice to meet you, Y/N."

"It's nice to meet you, as well, Florence."

She smiles and slightly bites her lip, looking down at the table. "So where are you from?" she blurts out.

"Small town in Georgia," I reply. "Let me guess, based on the accent, I'm gonna say you're from...Texas. Oh yeah, definitely Texas," I joke, feigning seriousness.

"Hell yeah, I'm from Texas," she says with a fake southern drawl.

Laughing, I ask, "For real, though. Where are you from?"

"Oxford," she replies easily, returning to her normal British accent.

"Sounds posh," I mutter under my breath. She must've heard me, though, because she bursts out laughing once more and my cheeks begin to hurt from smiling so much.

Her phone vibrates and she checks it, frowning at the message on the screen. "I'm sorry, I have to go. It's been nice talking with you, Y/N. Thank you for the tea and the record."

"Anytime, Florence. The rental details are on the receipt. Have a nice night," I say as she grabs her stuff and walks toward the door.

"Goodnight," she calls before leaving the shop. I sigh and check the time, realizing I should've closed twenty minutes ago.

I rush to shut everything down and about fifteen minutes later, I'm ready to go.

Gently shaking her tiny body, I whisper, "Syd, babe, wake up. It's time to go home."

She stirs slightly and mumbles, "Don't wanna get up, Momma. I don't feel good."

"What's wrong?"

"Just don't feel good." She falls back asleep immediately and I give up, gently picking her up and carrying her out of the store.

The rest of the night is filled with a sick five-year-old and thoughts of an enthralling British woman. She seemed very upset by that text she got. I hope everything is okay.

[cryiling]

what do we think about kpop idol au revalink where revali is from a big 3 company (i feel like he gives sm or yg but idk) and link is from a smaller company, but they get into a dating scandal because of dispatch's stupid dating dump at the end of the year or whatever

revali is appalled to have dating rumors with this little runt from a nugu group (he's lying, link is totally his type), meanwhile link is losing his shit bc it's his idol it's THE revali 🫣

im gonna use this ask as an excuse to talk about idols!link and revali bc I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS

first of all revali is def giving agust d vibes, that fuck capitalism and the government sorta songs, and he definitely writes his own music (he thinks that artists who don't write their own music aren't real artists). no wait like genuinely. have u guys seen the lyrics for all the songs on d-day?? and like the mv for amygdala?? totally breaking kpop industry norms and I can totally see revali doing that, like yes babes talk abt your mental health and traumatic experiences, pop off king !

I bet revali prefers doing hip hop style dances, like you're never gonna catch him doing those rlly simple trendy dances. nah he out here doing flips and bboying and stuff 😭 hmm like think back down or halazia level dances (bye not me finding a way to bring halazia into any conversation SJDHSJF)

also he definitely only sings live, no lip syncing for him. one day he gets sick and loses his voice but he still has a performance that day, and his manager is like PLS just lipsync to the track, literally no one will get mad I promise, and he's like bitch no and just has his fans sing the whole song (he goes viral for this, his fans bragging abt how revali would never stoop to the level of lip syncing while his antis are calling him lazy for having his fans do all the singing, then revali's fans clap back at those ppl and pull up the receipts of all the times their faves lip synced)

ok we need stage name and fandom for revali. hm tbh I feel like he would just keep his name as his stage name, like he probably thinks the idea of stage names is cringy 💀 help I need fandom name ideas. like, vale or something BYE. his company probably came up with a whole list of possible fandom names and he said no to all of them, atp his manager just picked one for him 😭

u mentioned revali is from a big 3 company, hmm yeah I'm getting sm vibes from him. how long do u think he trained for? probably a couple years, like 6? so he's very insistent that all his accomplishments are from his hard work

OK let's talk abt link! idk many small companies but ummm let's say like, gf or something (they have kingdom, slay!). do u guys know that one idol from loona I think? and she was a trainee for only one day? yeah that's link 😭 he auditioned for the company and they're like you're great! debut asap pls

link is just here to have a good time honestly, like he's going live at 3am to do drunk karaoke like jungkook fr 😭 he really has a passion for singing and performing, and at the end of the day he's just doing this for funsies, he doesn't let the stress get to his head too much, which, king behavior honestly

ik u said he's from a nugu group but honestly I'm seriously loving the soloist vibe from him, like if he was in a group he'd probably end up as the wonyoung of the group bc he just has that main character energy 😭

I can see link doing more upbeat/poppy songs, but he does the occasional ballad + contemporary dance combo that his fans go FERAL for. or,, omg. imagine him doing criminal by taeyang... 😊

his stage name.. L!NK bc he's quirky and not like other girls 😧 I bet his song titles are either in all caps or all lowercase too, he insists "it's for the aesthetic 🥺"

hm what sort of situation are they in where dispatch makes a dating scandal for them? OUHH MAYBE theyre both mcs for a music show (ignore that it's usually one guy and one girl) and they do one of those performances together and ppl are like 🤨⁉️ like imagine them doing the iconic dolphin dance together ✋ fans go CRAYZEEE the fancams hit like 20m views because their chemistry together really shines, even with such a simple song

their companies see how good they are for each other's publicities, so they really push for more of their schedules to be together.. which ofc comes at the cost of the dating scandal. they're hanging out together at some cafe idk, their managers told them to go hang out in the hopes that they would get some more publicity. what they WEREN'T expecting is for dispatch to declare that they're dating??? (that's a lie, link's manager (zelda) definitely knew smth like that would happen and she's the biggest revalink supporter 🤞)

when revali hears about this, he has a freaking meltdown to his manager teba, like 😭 lying facedown on the couch screaming into a pillow, "they think we're DATING?$:$;&2!;@/@ they really think a senior idol would go out with a rookie!!???!: SHUT UP TEBA HE IS NOT MY TYPE-"

meanwhile link has the BIGGEST celebrity crush on revali, like you know how jungkook is with namjoon? yeah 😭 so when the dating scandal comes out, link is just so flattered that people would think that he's worthy to be with revali- he's going around to anyone who will listen and is like "people think I'm with revali 😦🥰🥰" zelda is like girl calm down you're not actually together