#but yeah anyways heres to the autistic people who dont move.

[seraphim-soulmate]

shoutout to the autistics who don't do fuckall. keep it real. keep it locked down.

[vanweezer]

very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out

"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"

thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms

[drifloonz]

I also wanna see hcs of Steven with an autistic reader (dating hcs ig, I'm also a Strangled Red simp and I'm autistic)

remember me. im alive . Im here to heal the drought . i am too tired mentally to do the whole format shebang maybe ill dress it up when i wake up ( it is currently 6:21 am for me and im not tired yet )

Actually i dont think i do anything that extra or fancy with my formatting other than the title which i added right now. so . Enjoy

steven x autistic reader!

♡ he's autistic as well ... like that "I hate people" type'a autism. at least nowadays! i think he used to have trouble with volume and tone before the incident and just generally get easily overwhelmed... and either freeze or start to go on a walk to take his mind off of things. stuff like that.

♡ He's also insanely autistic about battle strategies and its his special interest of sorts . like... not that much, he did ( in my interpretation and what is kind of implied? ) sweep everything with miki because she's a special charizard who just kind of. Is stronger in all ways.

♡ BUT! i think i mean this in the more pokeani style of battles - he's crafty and very observant of his surroundings and how to "Cheat" battles with it. wink

♡ anyways yeah autistic reader . hi . You came for dating hcs right .

♡ he tends to just live in his house, lurking, stalking, barely moving out of bed to eat - so you might have to help him with that. ... buuuut, if you're similar, then you two will simply just sit in bed staring at the ceiling all day . napstablook core

♡ he hasn't had much stimulation outside of taking care of his basic needs and like. i'unno. being alive in general. so if you have an interest he isn't too aware of, he's always very happy to listen.

♡ he's an extremely good listener- he'll be nodding and mostly silent, but he may ask questions once he's more comfortable with you. he is actively trying to engage with your interests, although his own autism makes his tone a little stagnant- if he sounds uninterested, it's not intentional. his voice just comes off like that.

♡ he particularly likes games and music although the interests and energy for them have wavered a lot for him personally - so if your interests align with those sorts of things, he'll definitely be on board. you being into something in a genre he used to like definitely gives him enough energy to try again.

♡ this eventually does end up with him having more energy to engage with things that used to give him joy in a similar way . mostly playing games... like, a pokemon stadium or battle revolution game if those existed in-universe? because he can't exactly uh. Battle for real anymore without hurting those around him. of course, he always has charizard on his teams front and center. it's not Her. but, it'll suffice as long as he distracts himself.

♡ truly, it's just like this. introduce things to him and he'll be eager to try or listen or talk to you about them.

♡ if you get overwhelmed anywhere, he is quick to move you out of the area and also maybe take away the overwhelming Element. if it's a person, well. he'll just basically glare at them. a silent 'Fuck Off'

♡ also he will personally appreciate it if you get him more clothes. having just a few sets is fine for his depression, but the more he realizes it, the fabric feels awful sometimes. mainly, his trainer outfit he usually goes outside with - it's very worn and torn and the material was always a little cheap... if you get him a replacement, he'll be all the happier for it.

♡ he'd also give the old one to you if you cared about that sort of thing, but he'd be tentative because. well. it's worn and torn...?

♡ unless you fix it up and sew it somehow. that'd be nice. Im getting offtrack

♡ if you draw, write, or do creative things - he's always happy to see them. he likes to simply wrap his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder as he looks at what you're doing now and again... it's, calming? like, really calming. to be honest, he could do that forever and ever.

♡ until you two get hungry of course. but, until then.

♡ he does also of course engage and ask about things like your OCs ( if you have them ), worlds, writing, dynamics, headcanons - anything, everything.

♡ generally things like this are what he's happiest with . watching something with you or watching you do something as he lays back and relaxes. seeing you enjoy the things you like makes him feel a lot better even though its something so simple .

♡ ... S!3v3n is also similar, he's just much more quiet- basically nonverbal - about how he goes about it. those red eyes will always be watching intently though .

_____

sorry if these were barebones i didnt rlly know what to Go off of but yeah . he is autistic too !!!! the Tismry

[bubsub69]

Entry 2

14/05/2023 22:47

Well might as well start all entries with how my sleep schedule is, i had an afternoon nap so i might not sleep enough tonight but better than being up at 4am because i tried going to sleep at like 11pm and it went horribly wrong.

Reason for writing today? well while before looking at cute couple stuff like hugging and cuddling would make me cry now a porn video that wasnt even my first time watching made me cry because the couple seemed really happy and having a good time even though the girl was probably laughing cause she ruined the dudes orgasm on his face (video: https://www.redgifs.com/watch/quaintelderlyvireo#rel=tag%3Aruined-orgasm%2Cchastity%2Ca;order=trending)

I guess i should start with yesterday, with the blessing of the folders/briefcases whatever, it was as bad as expected so at least not worse than expectations, a very late start as a lot of people expected followed by a walk a queue to sit down, a small sermon and then speeches from each course. The worst part honestly might have just been the sun, it was blazing hot and i think i got sick from it, my nose was extremely fucked last night and still kinda is. After that we went to have lunch at a crisp 3pm and the food arrived at like 4, thank god my body has a high hunger resistance or i mightve killed someone, i spent a lot of time at the restaurant but at least i got to be with my cousin so it was actually pleasant, at the end we went to the lake garden to take some pictures for some reason and then went home (the for some reason comes from the fact we already had like 40 photos on the camera alone and went to take more).

idk why i wanted to write down what happened yesterday this was supposed to be more about emotions than story but oh well who can stop an autist from rambling.

But going to aforementioned (wow that was the word whos spelling i really had to look up, why am i spellchecking a personal diary? cause fuck you i want to, anyway another autistic rambling aside) emotions, those ribbons made me feel kinda weird when i reread them cause everyone was saying congrats on the hard work and for beating this challenge but i feel like its undeserved cause its not like i put a huge amount of effort studying, i barely passed some stuff which is definetly something im not proud of but yeah i feel like i slacked off most of the year even though ive never missed classes or failed to deliver a project, i guess im just associated with the studying part of school instead of this which is better honestly, even if i get stressed like now where i have a shit ton of stuff to do and am over procastinating as usual, but yeah, a lot of good jobs for a meh performance feels kinda weird.

But enough about school heres an update on D, today is sunday which matches the same day as the day of the call so how was her availability? well she gave me a maybe and then said that apparently her visa is expiring and shes super stressed out, well that seems like something way too complex for an excuse/lie so i believe her more but yeah her moving again is definetely going to make her busy again so i guess no calls for me.

Really feeling like a piece of shit that thats all the care i can muster for it, shes like about to get formally deported and im out here complaining shes too busy for me, and the worst is i decided to get a keyholder on chaster just to satisfy me, it feels like cheating i dont know why, we had some mild texting and a call and ive already like fallen in love and feel like a traitor, but i guess im tired of waiting and it might be for the best to move on if she just wants to stay an acquaintance (well new record for biggest spelling blunder), but yeah i feel like im giving up too soon cause i really liked her and just moving on feels really bad but what can i do when she doesnt show any interest, i mean not only does she not text back she also hasnt asked anything about me, which i guess is kinda fair for most boring person in the world whos hobbies are gaming and youtube, yippy, i guess ill wait again, this time im gonna do a week of no texting to see if she ever sends me something, she will be busy with the moving so she probably wont but oh well whatcha gonna do, not like shed say yes to a call in these circumstances either, i still wish i could help her but i dont think i can just ask dad if he has a contact with the visa man to hurry her process, but i did imagine that cenario

I guess switching to a different type of emotion to put some variety in this yesterday i fucked up the gamepads usb port out of anger but i think i tricked my parents by saying i saved the computer from falling, and on other hardware problem news theres a screw that i think broke the plastic around it so know the case keeps disconnecting from the rest. This was a shitty story but at least its not all about being sad and lonely

Well a bit of a blunder of an ending but oh well heres entry two, if the lady i messaged to be my keyholder replies the update will be here:

[genoc1d3r]

my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b

ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.

I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES

Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.

Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something. 

GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.

Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.

Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”

 Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.

Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this: 

But yeah thats cool

The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving. 

This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.

But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.

Predictions/hopes for the next part: 

I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.

A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se  they died so soon

More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo

More info regarding Meister

Sara going on Maury

Who tf is “Hinako”????

I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.

Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???

I want things to actually change  depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.

[firemama]

Coworker on the overnight shift: is it true that autistic people like to collect stuff?

Me, focused on sorting and stocking thread: yah. Or, often, anyway. Not everyone. Obviously.

Her: Huh. What do you collect?

Me, sweating, trying to thing of a normal answer that is also true: oh... you know. Things. Uhm... i collect uhhhh. Rocks? Like, crystals?

Her: oh cool, i like big colored rocks! Like the cut ones. The slabs.

Me, trying not to immedeatly infodump about how fucked up quartz classification is: yeah thats agate probably. Nice.

Her, so very unaware: do you collect anything else?

Me, thinking this is probably fine so far: uh. Uh. Nope.

So anyway heres the list of "collection habits i *have*":

Rocks (as stated), mainly trypes of crystal or gem

Round clear orbs NOT marbles with the little swirl inside ONLY clear ones with nothing inside.......

Miniature pieces. Like tiny things. Yes like tiny bread or tiny pots n pans. Yah those.

Pins. Like even bad ones that arent funny.

Scarves. I live in florida. I dont wear scarves. But i collect them. Its a mystery. I like them.

Littlest Pet Shop figures up until very very recently where i tooth and nail forced myself to give them up to give to my younger cousins who are actually young enough to, you know... play with them. Rather than just. Horde them.

Ink and colored inks. Crave more but expensive.

Acrylic Paints. Also expensive so i made myself stop buying it ezpecially since i dont actually paint all that often, but i continue to crave having enough paint to look like a fucking craft store in terms of paint hue options.

Plants. Specifically plants that produce edible product but pollinators are also welcome in my home. This has been a difficult thing to collect because every time we move they die and also it is very hard to keep plants in fucking florida sometimes.

Puzzles. The idle day dream the one day i will collect and put together every puzzle is not only impossible but yet still something i crave doing.

Game achivements. I soent two years tooth and nail trying to get a terrible awful achievement for minigolf perfect game in the fucking Dream Daddy game.

Notebooks. My favorite kind is grid paper notebooks. Spiral, bound, hard cover, sketch, lined....mm...delcious.

Qoutes. I have a notebook of favorite quotes.

My own art work. I have painted exactly 2 (two) ink canvases that i have willingly given away after painting them exclusively to be gifts. And i still fucking regret it.

Sharpies. I steal them if they are near me. I dont ever buy any. I only end up Taking. But i have MANY.

Old Toontown Cards. Im jot like a pricy collector but sometimes i find one at a yard sale and do not Hesitate to get it.

Board games. Want all.

Nail polish. I dont paint my nails: collect anyway.

Wrappers from werthers orginals caramel candies. I had to thrownmine away during the last move........ but i had like 3 boxes at some point.

G2 pilot pens (.7 mm)

(Edit: Dice. Lots of dice. Let the fact that i had to edit and add this prove that there are probably other things i collect that i also forgot to add lmao)

Things i WOULD collect if given free income and space for storage? Things i desperately want to collect?

A fucking craft stores worth of glitter.

Thread and yarn and string. All the colors. Just like acrylic paint. Just like glitter, too. I just want... ALL.

Books. Like the puzzle thing, it is absolutely impossible to collect them *all*. But my brain still wants to.

Food. Its an impulse thing. If one of every food existed in my possession i would be Happy.

Trees. Would need SO much space and land but t r e e s.

Thisbisba weird one, but... house styles? Want to slowly collect accents and designs from different types of archetecture into one house. Build and expand it over time.

Fragrance oil. All of them. Yaaaaa.

Broken glass. I do not collect this because i have common sense.... but i want to.

Ornate eastern hand fans. I do not know why, but it is a passive craving i have had since i was young.

Beads. Duct tape and decorative tape. Paper. Stickers. Whole collections if manga. Whole collections if novel series. Movies and dvds. Every single hard copy disk expansion for the sims 1, 2 and 3. Every single pet in wizard101 and every singly piece of clothing in loveNikki. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. IF I HAD UNLIMITED MONEY I WOULD JUST DEDICATE WHOLE ROOMS TO EACH COLLECTION OF THINGS. I would have all the things, ALL OF THEM.

[omegawolverine]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[thechangeling]

Enough.

So a while ago I made a headcannon post about Ty's sexuality and the autistic exploration of sex and sexual desire. I have now written a fic about it. This ones for Alex @bedspells my very own Alyssa. Also side note I want to make it clear that yes, I still ship kitty 100%. But I've seen plenty of people write fics and headcannons about Kit exploring things with other people. There's no reason why Ty can't do the same.

Edit: Ok a long time ago this fic actually got a hate comment on Ao3 saying that I was erasing Ty's sexuality by having him hook up with a girl because he was cannonly gay due to a tweet CC made in 2013. Now I don't even have twitter and I wasn't a part of the fandom back then. Despite all of that I actually don't really consider that to be the basis of canon? And in the books he doesn't really express interest in anyone except for Kit. So as far as I'm concerned this was fair game. Not to mention gay people sometimes experiment before they realize they're gay. Especially autistic people!! And that was actually kind of the point of this fic. So maybe just keep that in mind going forward. Thanks!

Tw for mentions and discussions of sex.

Ty could count the instances he hadn't been bothered by another person's touch on one hand. This was certainly one of them. It was so late into the night it could certainly be considered the next morning. Anush, Ty and Alyssa had been doing research on Livvy and the effect she seemed to be having on a serge of demonic activity in the area.

Ty was fairly stressed about the possibility to say the least. It felt like everything was spilling away from him. Livvy, his family, his career.

Kit.

He really didn't want to think about Kit but it was difficult. It was like trying to ignore a bleeding wound that everyone kept referring to as a paper cut.

The shining lights in all of this were Anush and Alyssa. Befriending both of them had been the best part of coming to the scholomance.

Especially Alyssa.

Meeting someone who shared some of his thoughts, feelings and experiences was more then refreshing. It was liberating. Talking, laughing and crying with Alyssa about the things that no one else would understand was like a balm for Ty's soul.

At a certain point Anush had announced that he was retiring to bed and they should both probably do the same. Livvy was still floating around the room observing their work. But as time went on Ty had stopped paying as much attention to her. Now he was resting against Alyssa with his head in her lap. She was sitting on the couch in the library, carefully running her fingers through his hair and rambling on about something, Ty wasn't exactly sure what.

Ty reached up to wrap a lock of her long dark hair around his finger, then watched it spring back into place again. Alyssa's hair was wavy but not curly like- like some peoples. So it didn't spring and bounce very well. That was the interesting thing about Ali in general. So many parts of her dress and appearance were so neat and polished and well put together that Ty almost wondered what it would be like to see her more disheveled. What would it be like to grab and twist and pull until she was left with something that wasn't glossy perfect waves.

Ty panicked a little at that thought. Where exactly had that come from? He was now more then ever painfully aware of the fact that he was lying in an attractive person's lap. And his sister was still in the same room.

Ty looked up to search for Livvy but realized that she was gone. Guiltily he realized she could have been gone for awhile now. But he hadn't noticed. Lately he had been feeling further and further away from his twin and he hated it.

"Do you think stars have feelings?" Alyssa asked wistfully. Ty laughed joyfully, feeling so light and and so far away from every bad thing that had happened three years ago.

"Because I was just thinking," she continued. "Like, what if they're lonley you know?" Ty had to smile at the Alyssa charm of it all. Also the autistic perspective might have had something to do with it.

"I don't know," Ty said, sitting up. "Maybe they're like us. Maybe they like being alone." Alyssa pondered this for awhile.

"Well no one can be alone forever," she pointed out, then laughed, rolling her eyes. "God how did we get here? Remember when we were supposed to be doing actual work Ty?"

"Well we were stupid to think that would last," Ty announced matter of factly. Alyssa shrugged and leaned back against the sofa.

"Probably. Once the neurotypical left it was all downhill from there."

"I disagree, Ty said softly, meeting her gaze. "I enjoy spending time with you." Alyssa instantly smiled, the kind of beautiful, honest, heartfelt smile that allistic people wrote poetry about.

Instantly Ty was reminded of someone else, another brilliant smile.

He shook it off.

"Me too," Alyssa finally answered. Then she shook her head. "Ugh feelings. Gross."

Ty rolled his eyes at her and laughed.

Then Alyssa sat up again as she seemed to remember something. "Oh yeah I meant to ask you about Anush. Do you like him?"

Ty shrugged. "Yeah he's really nice. He's become a good friend."

Alyssa shook her head. "No, no Ty, I mean-" She paused. "I mean do you like him like you wanna date him? Or do you have romantic feelings for him?" She asked.

Ty paused. He honestly wasn't sure. He had been trying to avoid thoughts of those types of feelings for a very specific reason. A Herondale reason. But the truth was he did like really like Anush. He enjoyed being around him. Ty just wasn't sure what that meant.

"I'm not sure," he answered honestly. "Maybe." Alyssa fiddled with her hair, rubbing it between her fingers.

"Hmm. Well do you even like boys?" She asked. "I just realised I've known you for five months now and I dont really know what your deal is," she said contemplating. "Like sexual orientation wise. I mean not that it matters, it totally doesn't," she stammered.

Ty shrugged. "It was never really relevant before. But I'm not really sure. I guess I'm fine with whatever." Alyssa beamed.

"So I guess that means you're kinda like me huh? She said happily. "I'm pansexual. Women are so beautiful and angelic and soft and squishy and awesome, but men can be good too," she mused. "I mean men are......men, but some of them aren't so bad. I mean look at you!" Alyssa tossed her hair back over her shoulder.

"Thanks," Ty responded dryly.

"Anyways you know what I mean," Alyssa waved her hand. "So are you attracted to him at least?" Ty sighed.

"Yeah I am," he admitted. "But I don't- I don't want a relationship Ali. I just can't."

Alyssa studied him for a moment. "Does this have anything to do with the Herondale pendent you wear that you always tell me never to ask questions about?"

Ty scowled. "Yes, but I don't want to talk about it." Alyssa rolled her eyes and put her hands up in surrender.

"Fucking shit fuck! Fine!" She complained. "Anyways, my point is you dont need to date him neccesarily. Just have sex with him and see how you feel?"

Ty sat up and faced her. "What?"

Alyssa laughed. "You heard me. There's nothing wrong with causal sex between consenting adults. I mean, if you want to."

Ty felt the urge to stand up to try and aliviate some of the anxiety he was feeling, but he stayed sitting.

"I've never done it before," he admitted. Ty was 19, he knew most of the people his age had already had some sort of sexual experience. But he had always been too afraid. Too afraid of people touching him and demanding things from him with harsh vague bullshit. In Ty's mind it was just another social interaction that he could screw up and then pay the price for it.

Alyssa shrugged. "It's no big deal. Virginity is just a social construct anyways." Alyssa was playing with her hair casually and biting her lip slightly, to indicate that she was mulling something over.

Ty shook his head trying to explain it. "No, it's- I mean see, you say that, but, one of the things I've learned about this world is that social constructs kind of matter to a lot of people." Ty was taping his fingers against his leg and trying to stop himself from shaking. Alyssa noticed this.

"Because people tell you that's it's no big deal and not to worry, and then other people make it into a big deal like it means something, and then everyone's telling you to do something different," Ty explained with a panicked, rushed voice. "I don't know who you listen to, or what to do!" He was moving his hands frantically while he spoke to emphasize his points.

"Hey it's ok," she cooed, inching towards him. "Trust yourself. Or if you feel like you can't, then trust me." Ty felt a pang in his chest. A cacophony of conflicting emotions erupted within him. But mostly he found that despite his better judgement he actually believed her.

They had created something different between the two of them. Something that almost transcended labels or rules or traditional allistic boundaries. Alyssa was like the armor he put on every morning, with the strength and confidence that he wasn't alone in this world. In the midst of all of their jokes and late night heartbreaking conversations. In the midst of this fragile peace they had created, there was something there. Something indescribable.

Something like the sound of the page being turned in one of his Sherlock novels, or the sound of their favourite songs. A connection. A lifeline.

Ty looked over at Alyssa's concerned face and smiled softly. "I trust you," he promised. "I don't really trust many people, but I've always trusted you," he admitted. Alyssa inhaled sharply. She made an interesting facial expression that might have been a facial stim and then gaped for awhile before finally closing her mouth and avoiding Ty's gaze.

"Yeah that's cool. I trust you too," she said casually. She had gone back to pulling at her poor hair which was shedding everywhere. Anush always joked that he could always tell where Alyssa was by following the trail of hair.

"So, about the whole sex thing," she continued rather unceremoniously. Ty had to laugh a little. "Do you think it's something you're actually interested in? Or do you just feel like you have to?" She asked.

Ty pondered this for a moment. "I think I might want to. I just want to be with someone that I trust. Someone who will be considerate of my boundries, you know?" Ty did a quick glance around the room to make sure Livvy was still gone.

"Wait she's not here right?" Alyssa asked anxiously, catching on. Ty shook his head.

Alyssa paused for a moment, looking lost in thought. She was flicking her fingernails against each other and continuing to murder her bottom lip by chewing on it. Finally she looked up at him, looking rather amused.

"Ok. This might just be the exhaustion talking, or the autism, or a combination of both. So if you feel uncomfortable with what I'm about to say, then afterwards we can just forget it ok?" Alyssa sounded serious. Ty just nodded, trying not to be concerned.

Alyssa gave him an interesting look, one that he was pretty sure he had never recieved before. Her eyes scanned him up and down, then she smirked.

"I could potentially offer my services," she said innocently. Ty blinked a few times, then continued to stare at her. She stared back unflinching.

Wait. What?

Ty shook his head in confusion. "Hold on. Wait. You mean-?" He cut himself off. Alyssa nodded with that same smirk. "Yeah I mean why not right?" She shrugged, relaxing back against the sofa. "But if you dont want to then that's totally fine."

"Wait." Ty attempted to clear his head and stay focused. He stayed frozen for awhile, thinking. Then he folded his arms around himself, applying pressure. "Why exactly?"

Alyssa shrugged again. "Well why not? You're hot. I'm hot, and besides you know me," she pointed out. She paused, and then giggled.

"Four hours into investigating the paranormal phenomenon of his dead twin sister and chill, then she offers to take his virginity," she cackled. "I so enjoy our quality time together."

"The way your mind works really concerns me sometimes, you know that?" He asked playfully. Alyssa rolled her eyes at him and shoved him gently.

"Hey you don't have to, it was just an idea," she said, raising her hands in defense. Ty was silent. He was still thinking about it.

"Most people don't really do stuff like this right?" He asked warily. "Like most friends don't just randomly hook up and then laugh it off later."

Alyssa shook her head slowly. "Honey do you see me laughing?"

Ty was conflicted. There was something in him, a new, complicated feeling. A burning desire that nagged at the back of his mind everytime Alyssa bit her lip or pouted.

If he was really honest with himself. Ty could remember another time when he felt this way. But that was different, that was-.

He shook his head. No. Ty wasn't thinking about that anymore. He needed a distraction.

"God I can practically hear you thinking over here Ty," Alyssa teased. "Listen. If it freaks you out to much then we can forget about it. But-." She paused and reached towards him. Their fingertips met and she slowly dragged her fingertips down the top of Ty's hand.

"I want to do this for you because I care about you," she said solemnly. "I want make you feel good. Because you're special, and I dont mean that in the bullshit ableist way. I mean I think that you're special because you have such a big heart and you care so much," she said with a laugh.

Ty felt like he was about to cry. He was taking in long deep breaths trying not to get overwhelmed. He didnt know how to respond to this, this kind of attention and praise. His heart felt warm and tight absorbed in so much fondness and melancholy and regret all at once.

He knew this wasn't anything like what had happened that day on the beach. This wasn't that kind of love that he was feeling for Alyssa and that was a good thing. Romantic love, he decided, was too complicated.

"You deserve good things and good experiences. You deserve to have your first time be somewhere familiar. Somewhere you feel safe, and with someone who loves you." Alyssa wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

"God sorry for getting all emotional like that," she joked.

Ty couldn't speak, so he just squeezed her hand. He hoped she would understand.

I love you too.

Ty took a breath, then nodded. "Yeah," he admitted. "Yeah I want that. I want you."

Alyssa exhaled, then grinned. "Ok then. Great. I'll see if I can pencil you in sometime this week," she joked. Ty cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Oh," he murmered, suprised with how disappointed he felt. "You mean later?" Alyssa laughed.

"Well yeah, I mean aren't you tired?"

"Are you?" Ty countered.

Alyssa shrugged. "Hey you know how it is, autistic sleep cycle. I'm gonna be up for awhile. I just figured you might want some time to think."

Ty shook his head. "No I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired of thinking Ali. I'm tired of worrying and overanalyzing everything." His eyes met hers, she seemed a little worried.

She moved closer to him so that she was practically in his lap. "You need a distraction," she said matter of factly. "It's ok." She moved her hands from his arms to grasp his waist.

"Is this good?"

Ty flinched. "More pressure," he replied in a tone that was hopefully not too demanding. Alyssa pressed her fingertips down harder into his skin. A soothing feeling washed over him.

"Good?" She asked, scratching his skin with her fingernails. Ty just nodded, feeling slightly dazed.

Alyssa smiled, lowering herself gracefully into his lap. Everything she did was with precision and grace. Alyssa was a dancer. It was one of her special interests. She had stopped taking lessons a long time ago though because she found it challenging to dance in a group.

She could never copy what everyone else was doing exactly on count when she was supposed to. She was always going off and improvising on her own. There was probably a metaphor in there somewhere.

Alyssa's weight against him was comforting. She was moving her hands up and down his back underneath his shirt while still applying pressure. Ty felt heat beginning to pool in the base of his stomach. He stared at her curiously, taking in her soft curves and her smooth golden skin.

"Can I touch you?" Ty asked, feeling his fingers twitch.

Alyssa moved her hands to his chest. "Sure." She said softly. "Just be careful. Remember pressure and all of that, and try to avoid my stomach area. For some reason it's really sensitive." Ty nodded, instantly reaching for her long wavy dark hair and twisting his fingers around it, pulling slightly. She laughed.

This drew Ty's attention to her mouth. Her lips were cracked and rough looking from Alyssa constantly biting them, but Ty still wanted to kiss her. He had never kissed anyone before. He needed to know what it felt like.

He moved his hands to her shoulders and then to her sides, pulling Alyssa even closer. "Can you teach me how to kiss?" He asked looking her in the eye briefly. She snorted.

"I don't think you'll like it very much," she murmered. "It's not really a good sensory experience. At least not for me. Allistic people seem to like it though."

Ty nodded. "Exactly that's my point," he said, using one hand to cradle the side of her neck. "I need to learn for other people later on." He absentmindedly pressed his thumb into one of the divots in her neck, just to fill the space. Alyssa sighed and dug her fingernails into his chest.

"Ok fine but you're gonna hate the tounge thing," she breathed. She leaned down very slowly and then carefully pressed her lips to Ty's, kissing him softly.

It was a weird sensation but not entirely unpleasant. Ty happily slid his hands back into her hair and began to fiddle with a few thick pieces. Alyssa moved her own hands up his chest to cradle her face, applying pressure with thumbs against his cheekbones.

Alyssa deepened the kiss and slid her tounge into his mouth. Instantly Ty winced and felt every cell in his body seize up. But he didn't stop. He was determined to figure this out. If he wanted to kiss someone who wasn't autistic in the future then he would need to. Ty relaxed his body and kissed her back forcefully, making out with Alyssa until the uncomfortable noise in his head was too much and he broke the kiss.

Ty shook his head and Ali laughed, stroking his hair. "I fucking told you so," she exclaimed. Ty shut his eyes and allowed his breathing to return to normal.

"Ok so that's something we can forget about for now, thank god. The beauty of this whole situation is that we dont have to follow any allistic script for this sort of thing." Ty opened his eyes. Alyssa was watching him carefully, still only centimeters away from his face.

"So is there anything you want to do?" She asked him. "Just tell me and I'll see if we can make it happen."

Ty saw no need to maintain any sort of filter. "Well there are a lot of things actually, but for some reason I really want to bite you," he said pointedly, glancing down at her neck. Alyssa burst out laughing, nearly falling over.

Ty glared at her. "I'm sorry," she gasped breathlessly. "I'm sorry it's just,-," she regained her composure, shaking her head. "I just love how we all used to be the weird kids who growled and hissed at people on the playground if they bothered us and now as adults we're just super kinky. Like it's kind of poetic in a way," she laughed.

Ty rolled his eyes. There was no need to ask what she meant by we. When Alyssa said we, it only referred to one thing.

"I'm sure it's not absolutely every autistic person," he protested. "Also we should move, on account of the fact that this is still a public setting." Alysza's eyes widened as if she had just remembered that.

"Oh right. Shit, as if these people needed any more reasons to hate me. Let's go!" She rolled off of Ty and stood in front if him, holding out her hand. "We can use my room." Ty stayed sitting, taking a moment to fully absorb it all.

He couldn't help but feel the weight of the Herondale pendent against his chest as a heavy reminder. He willed himself not to get distracted. Alyssa smiled at him slightly, almost as if she knew.

"Enough," she said softly.

Ty didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure if their was anything he wanted say. Then finally he understood.

"Enough," he echoed back.

He took her outstretched hand and let her take him away.

@ti-bae-rius @eutony-in-whisper @dianasarrow @dianasarrow @stxr-thxif @talia-lightwood @doitforthecarstairs @thelandunderthehilll @zfoxdraws @waterlillies

[eldritchqueerture]

i did hold back before but...i crave your thoughts on 122 👉👈 (also i hope nothing I've said before clouds your judgement lol)

hell yeah lets go!! i really enjoyed doing the previous one so if there's more you'd like me to do then shoot!

ok honestly i don't remember this one. the title is zombie and all i remember is the statement was about zombies and i think jon is freshly out of the coma and alludes that he feels like a zombie?? thats what you get for binging the whole thing

anyways

hi alex

it did appear by magic! georgie was on it the whole time

tim ;_;

OK BUT HONESTLY yall really fucking. jon wakes up from a six month coma feeling okay and yall are like "That Is Not Right." JUST BE GLAD OH MY GOD i want to give him a hug, i know what season 4 is about and no one is happy to see him awake and alive (aside from Martin), no one lets Jon know they're glad he's there and im soooooooooo mad

GEORGIE I LOVE YOU BUT YOU GOTTA STOP OH MY GOD

ohhhhhh okay i remember what the statement was about

okay gosh, this one really makes you think. it does hit me a bit, the "i know what my pain and joy feel like but when i look at the others i dont feel anything", that would be a study of empathy and how it works. i always relate stuff to myself because i basically major in self-study (and also subjective learning) and sometimes i do relate to that. like i just have an emotional obstacle and i can't read people at all, and even if i want to empathize and try to feel what they're feeling, it's just not there and i have to remind myself that they are in the emotion right now even if i am not and like, communication is so so important. but sometimes, i get the exact opposite of that and i just feel people's emotions translated into my own, what i imagine they're feeling at the moment and it's really really intense i don't know what i wanted to say anymore. let's carry on

i like danielle. same girl, i also find explaining shit to others really helpful with learning

ok but this concept of philosophical zombies is really dangerous because yeah people might seem like they're not "feeling" their emotions fully inside, but like. not everyone is expressive. some people are very much internalizing their emotions and might be less expressive, to a point sometimes when you think that they're not feeling. i think it was a thing that shows up in autistic people sometimes? i might be wrong, i don't remember and im not doing any fact checking rn. but take me, for example, i am very much not an expressive person and i have to actually put effort into unlearning internalizing every emotional reaction i have (hello trauma) because my mind has set this as a default reaction and it takes care of it outside of my consciousness at this point, resulting in dissociation. and if i dissociate, you will not see an emotion on my face that i have not consciously approved to appear there. try not feeling fake (/s)

thats actually why i think i just moved on from this statement, no thoughts. weird concept, not a fan

"liam certainly cried out when i cut his hand and he did a good impression of grief when his fish died" see thats. thats the thing that leads to unethical science experiments. i think there was a thing when some people believed babies couldnt feel pain. you can imagine what that led to. don't quote me on that but i recall something about it from my classes

but apart from my psychological brainrot, that seems to be a theme in horror, the concept of "not everyone among us has a soul/feels emotions and are just hollow, some of us are just pretending", cause it is also a thing in Curse of Strahd (dnd campaign) and i guess it is kinda scary

"a smile so fake it practically glowed" thats an interesting way to describe a fake smile

i mean, i know that this is a statement of the Stranger and all, but if I was a s1 Archivist this would seem like a classic "I'm glad you came to us with this, here's a list of mental health professionals you probably should consult while we follow up on your case"

OKAY THEORY this guy following the statement giver is an avatar of the stranger (or a manifestation or wtv) and it's not that the rest of those people were zombies or anything, the Stranger was just causing paranoia (like it did with Jon in s2) this might seem like an obvious observation but i was not thinking about this when i listened to this the first time

"(...) no research done by myself or... the team." CAN YOU HEAR ME SOBBING

"how do you know you're the same person that went to sleep" you dont! actually! there was a philosopher who was talking about that, that every minute of your life changes you and you're never the same person you were before

what did he do to mahtin.

god i really went off there didn't i? jshgwerguwrh hope you enjoyed that! and thank you for sending another one!! <3

[mizufae]

4, 9, 21, 30, 48, 68

SO MANY ASKS, MY BOREDOM RECEDES

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

ugh. I was the super smart but smelly kid, basically. I got placed in a GT core program in 4th grade (gifted and talented) and even there I was immediately shuffled to the second to last rung on the social ladder, I was the most normal one of the kids who ate erasers and were obviously autistic. Like also, I guess I was described as “an old soul” and “rude” because I used bad words. Before the GT program I was a bookworm and before that I was “extremely shy” but in 2nd grade I woke up one morning and was suddenly obnoxious. I suspect that my teachers didn’t know what the hell to do with me most of the time, but I always got really good grades despite refusing to do a lot of homework so it was kind of hard to crack my nut, I guess. One time in fifth grade I was called “tactless”.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Honeysuckle on a warm clear night.

The town I moved to when I was seven years old has a big festival every year with craft booths and outdoor concerts and lots of food and carnival stuff and they have fireworks! It was within walking distance of our house, so every summer we’d walk there in the afternoon and spend a couple evenings there. This was how I saw Carbonleaf for free about a month before they made it really big! Anyway, here is the memory:

Walking home at night, sticky leather sandals on my feet. My friend met up with me while at the festival and she peels off to get to her neighborhood a few blocks along. My mom and dad are meandering about half a block ahead of me. I have a cracked glowstick around my neck, it’s a soft green and pink. The firework smoke has mostly cleared and the nearly full moon washes the dark streets with enough light to navigate without the flashlight my mom had tucked in her purse. The streets on this block don’t have sidewalks so we have to be careful, but everyone is walking home around this time so it’s not too dangerous. The breeze passes through and any lingering smoke is blown away, replaced with a floral waft. I don’t understand what it is until I bump into my parents who have stopped. My dad is picking at a bush that’s grown over a chainlink fence. “What are you doing?”

“Eating honeysuckle,” my dad responds. I make an incredulous noise. “You can eat it, see? You pick a flower, like this, without any leaves on the bottom, and then pinch off the bottom. The stamen will come through and pull the nectar down... Then you suck it like the bottom of an ice cream cone. It’s sweet. Here, try it.”

After I try one and mangle it, my dad prepares one for me. I’m surprised. I’d only eaten pansies before, and those tasted like mint and parsley had a baby, not sweet at all. “Can you eat the petals?”

“Yeah, but they don’t taste like anything. Here, you want more?”

“I can do it this time.”

“Okay, be careful though, don’t pick any too low down, dogs can pee on it.”

“Ew, Dad!”

At this point my mother chides us on back home, but I pulled off a big tendril to pick at the rest of the way.

21. obsession from childhood?

When I was little I was terrified of most things, but a big thing that really freaked me out was clowns and also people in mascot costumes. As an adult I have made some uh... progress on this (am I a furry? am I a clownfucker? I not NOT those things...) but anyway in an attempt to get me to maintain my chill if I accidentally found a clown or mascot at one of a million children friendly places where such characters appear without warning (the zoo, a baseball game, the mommy and daughter beauty pageant my mom idiotically signed us up for when I was like, three... every halloween ever... the library...) they rented this movie that was like, a behind the scenes clown circus documentary.

I have spent a solid 20 minutes trying to look it up just now and it is ungoogleable because of all the trendy murderous clown bullshit these days, thanks a lot stephen king, but anyway. My older brother had to watch it with me the first time but it was like... the clown showed how he went from just a guy through every step of putting on the makeup and costume, and some juggling stuff and some other tricks, and what makes a funny physical joke, and some other circus things... And then he took off the clown outfit and became a regular guy again. I WAS OBSESSED. Apparently, I requested we rent this movie from blockbuster EVERY TIME for MONTHS to the point where blockbuster offered to sell us the VHS. I still remained scared of clowns for years after this but it helped me out a lot and also it’s connected to my whole thing about practical effects. I also watched the jim hensons secrets of the muppets thing about twenty bajillion times, it all exists in the same space in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Gazebos and thresholds, mostly. Also I once had a religious experience staring at a Van Gogh in the National Gallery of London. It was Wheatfield with Crows. I don’t think I saw god, because I dont particularly believe in god much, but I do feel like... some part of me cracked open and was able to connect with some part of a person who had painted it a hundred years ago. I only learned that it was possibly the last thing he ever painted like, a year later. I was in London visiting a friend who had moved there a year before, we were in our senior year of high school, I was 17 and applying to art schools at the time, so maybe it was just a thing about, like, the right time and mental space for it, but also... me and Vincent are like... yeah. This is what I hope I see when I die, etc.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I hope that I would be an apricot but that’s just cuz I really like them. Maybe I am a coconut, hairy on the outside and a hard nut to crack.

When I started to grow boobs, my mom told me a funny story about how in college she walked in on her roommate standing in front of the mirror in just her underwear, cupping her breasts. And when my mom was like “uh... what are you... doing?” her roommate was like “sigh... do you think I have oranges? Or are they more like tangerines... I wish I had grapefruits like you!” and from then on the citrus system of breast classification was set. Hippies, amirite?

Anyway my boobs kept growing and growing and growing. I am currently a K cup??? But anyway one day as a teenager I was in the grocery store and they had these fruits that were EVEN BIGGER than a grapefruit. They were pale green and smelled really nice! And when we sliced it open it had SO MUCH PITH, but the fruit inside was a pretty pink... It’s a pomelo! The precursor to grapefruits. My breasts are now bigger than even pomelos, but whenever I see them in the market I’m like “my boob fruit!”

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I try my best to taste foods I’ve disliked over and over again throughout the years to get myself to become okay with them because I find the enjoyment of food to be vitally important to my willingness to continue existing. But one thing I will NEVER force myself to eat again is natto. I tried it about four different times, once the cheap conbini kind, once at an extremely swanky japanese hotel breakfast, one in a really nice sustainable sushi restaurant with my favorite fish mackerel, once from a friend’s fridge, and UGH, every time, I just wanna spit it back out immediately. Sorry, fam.

In terms of things that come in different flavors I think the grossest soda is the grapefuit favorito which is like drinking bubbly soap.

[salty-seasick]

your tags on that post about the quackity tweet are very based!! thank you for them, i saw that post on my dash several times yesterday in agreement of making fun of the tweet and it made me very :( y'know?

i really dont like how someone can post something making fun of/generalizing mcyt fans on here based on one kinda cringey tweet from probably, like, a young tween, and still get thousands of notes for it and in genuine mean spirit. and i was on mcyttwt for Months, i know how abhorrent it can get, yet the actual bad stuff is never posted, only... a tweet that's kinda cringey at worst and probably made by a 14 year old?? 😭 it makes no sense. (how did the op even find that tweet anyway...? if you dont like mcyt fans... move on... ignore them... don't engage with them... bruh) 😭

-callizinc

(and im in total agreement with you if that wasn't clear btw!! i just wanted to get that off my chest a little if that's alright :'D!!)

yeah of course!- your takes are very based as well :))

It really sucks to think about though, the person in question ( who like you said, was probably fairly young) had just tweeted about how it was nice to see Quackity react like that, and was just met with overwhelming hate from multiple social media sites. but yeah, the fact that people can make fun a couple of kids having fun on the internet, not to mention also making fun of autistic and neurodivergent people, and feel good about it? like how that somehow makes you better than a couple of mcyt fans is beyond me

[draftingtides]

Dogfish

AO3

Words: 1368 Characters: Mike Crew, Martin Blackwood, Jonathan Sims, assorted s4 characters Relationships: Jon/Mike/Martin Warnings: Jon has a brief meltdown, Mike was buried alive but it’s not described in detail Other Tags: Getting together, Canon divergence, Autistic & ADHD Jon, Autistic Michael Crew, I dont actually plan to finish this so uhhh be warned for that i suppose, This is just a self-indulgent sandbox i wanted to play in Summary: “Why do you need a shovel?” Jon stares at his hands and giggles quietly, if a bit hysterically. “I’m going to dig up a grave.” Martin’s surprised he doesn’t crash the car. “Jon—” “Please don’t,” Jon interrupts. “Just… please.”

When Jon shows up at his flat at three in the morning, crying and hyperventilating, it’s all Martin can do not to bundle him into a hug and hold him until he calms down. As it is, he has to settle for toning down the disdain he’s pretended to hold towards other people since he made up his mind to trick Peter.

“Jon? What are you doing here? It’s three in the morning.”

“Yes, I—I’m sorry, I—I didn’t want to bo-bother you, but I ca-an’t—” His quick, shallow breaths cut him off and what comes after is unintelligible.

“No, stop, I can’t understand a word you’re saying.” Martin opens his door wider and gestures for Jon to come in. Jon obeys, barely looking shocked at all. Martin steers him towards the couch and tells him to stay there.

Martin finds a bottled water in the fridge and returns to the living room. Jon’s elbows are on his knees and his hands are clenched tightly in his hair, and he is rocking back and forth. He doesn’t look up when Martin stands in front of him.

“Jon? I got you some water.”

Jon releases his hands from his hair and holds them out. Martin hands him the water bottle. It’s a good thing he decided to go for the bottle instead of a glass; Jon’s hands are shaking so badly he probably would have just spilled the glass. He still dribbles some down his chin, but he wipes it away with his shirt sleeve. 

Martin waits for him to finish the bottle to say, “Better?”

His breathing has evened out, but he exhales deeply before he nods. His tears are beginning to dry on his face, and he wipes those away with his shirt sleeve, to.

Martin wants nothing more than to gently clean his face with a warm washcloth, but he can’t. “Alright. Tell me what you’re doing here.”

When he speaks, his voice is rough. “I… I need a ride.”

“I can’t. Ask someone else.”

Jon flinches. “I can’t. I—they won’t.”

“Who did you ask?”

“Um. Georgie. Basira.”

“That’s it?”

“M-Melanie would sooner kill me. Elias is in jail. Daisy is—Daisy is dead. I d-don’t know anyone else.”

Jon’s lower lip trembles and he bites it like that will make it stop.

Martin sighs heavily and stares at the ceiling. That reaction, at least, is not faked. Doing this could very easily tip Peter off that he’s not as committed to the Lonely as he “should” be, but if this drove Jon to his flat, and in such a state, it’s obviously important.

“You can’t take the tube?”

Jon shakes his head.

Martin sighs again. “Alright.”

Jon stares at him uncomprehendingly. “Al-alright?”

Martin gestures for him to stand. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Oh!” Jon stands quickly as Martin grabs his keys and wallet, then silently follows Martin out to his car.

“So? Where are we going?” Martin asks, his fingers poised to type an address into Google Maps.

“Ah… I don’t think a GPS will be able to find it. I can give you directions.”

Martin raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything.

A few minutes into the drive, Jon lets out a soft, “Oh.”

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just… I forgot to bring a shovel.”

Martin actually turns his head to look at him before quickly looking back at the road. “Why do you need a shovel?”

Jon stares at his hands and giggles quietly, if a bit hysterically. “I’m going to dig up a grave.”

Martin’s surprised he doesn’t crash the car. “Jon—”

“Please don’t,” Jon interrupts. “Just… please.”

Martin grips the steering wheel tightly and doesn’t say a word.

“Turn left here,” Jon says after a few minutes. “No—Martin, I said left.”

“I know.”

“Then what—”

Martin pulls into the parking lot of a supercentre and parks the car. “Wait here.”

“But—”

Martin leaves the key in the ignition and gets out of the car. When he returns a few minutes later, he has two shovels that he puts in the back seat. 

Jon stares at him.

“You’re not going to dig up a grave with your bare hands.”

“Right,” he says quietly. “Thank you.”

The rest of the drive is long. Jon says, “We have to walk from here,” so they park the car, grab the shovels, and walk into the woods.

Jon stops and Martin almost walks into him.

“We’re here,” he says, staring at the ground under his feet. There’s nothing there to indicate it’s a grave—no headstone, no freshly turned earth—but there’s no mistaking the certainty in Jon’s voice.

They start digging. Neither Jon nor Martin are fit for this kind of work, and by the time the sky begins to lighten, their palms are raw and red.

“Jon,” Martin says, “I don’t think there’s anything here.”

Jon stops digging, but he doesn’t look up. “I…”

“We’ve been digging for hours.”

“Martin, I know he’s here. He’s in agony, I can’t just—it’s my fault he’s here in the first place. I have to find him and get him out.”

“Him? Who are you talki—”

The ground shudders ever so slightly, and Martin’s mouth snaps shut.

“Oh my g-d,” Jon says, and he drops to his knees and scrabbles at the dirt with his fingers.

Martin is suddenly very apprehensive that something is about to go wrong.

“Jon—”

A few fingers break through the surface of the dirt.

“Holy shit,” says Martin.

“Martin, help me,” Jon orders.

Martin gets down on his knees and starts digging again.

The arm attached to the hand thrusts out of the dirt, quickly followed by a second arm, and soon enough Jon’s wiping dirt off of a gasping face.

“Mike! Mike, it’s—it’s Jon, it’s Jonathan Sims. Hold on, I have to—” Jon drags a gasping, spluttering Michael Crew out of the ground, dirt cascading from his skin and hair.

Martin drags himself out of the grave—it’s a bit crowded for three people.

Mike makes weak flapping motions with his hands. He leans forward, still making those awful sputtering noises, and dirt falls from his mouth. Jon pounds his back as gently as he can, and even more clumps of dirt fall to the bottom of the grave.

Once it seems Mike's expelled all the dirt he can, Jon says, “Martin, help me get him out.” Jon gently moves one of Mike’s arms over his shoulder to support him. “Mike, I’m going to help you stand, and Martin’s going to pull you out.”

Jon helps Mike upright. Martin kneels at the edge of the grave, loops his arms under Mike’s armpits and heaves up and back. He drags Mike out more than lifts him, but what matters is that he’s out. 

He drags Jon out next, stubbornly ignoring the fact that this is the closest they’ve been physically since they hugged before the Unknowing.

Mike is on his hands and knees, head hanging down, looking like he’s trying not to collapse.

“Okay, let’s get him in the car,” Martin says.

Jon helps Mike into the backseat of the car and climbs in after him, leaving Martin to get in the front by himself. Probably better like that, anyway.

Mike stubbornly refuses to put on his seatbelt, though he doesn’t say a word or—as far as Martin knows, at least—use his powers. 

“Your flat is too far out of the way,” Martin tells Jon, even though it really isn’t. “I can either drop you off at the Institute or at my flat, but you can’t stay at mine.”

There’s a whirring sound and the sudden rush of wind from the backseat. Martin peaks in the rearview mirror to see Mike has rolled down the window. He’s looking up at the sky, but the angle is such that he can’t see Mike’s face.

“The Institute is fine,” Jon says. He goes silent, then says, more quietly, “Thank you, Martin.”

“Yeah, well. I’m not going to help you with something like this again, Jon. Don’t expect me to.”

Martin refuses to watch the mirror and see the way Jon shrinks back when he mumbles, “Of—of course. Sorry.”

[inctlife]

saw your last answer on my ask and i dashed here (dashi run run run ...???)

taking care of myself more lately, i've been caring for my legs a lot more and i am now: healed :))))))))

however i can't stop the frustration from running through, i'm not as good as i was before and i blame myself for being so careless about my health? but again, no can do except quit, which i'm on the verge of doing

AND MA'AM, WE ARE HERE FOR THE TONE INDICATORS. currently educating myself, i'm getting there but i'm rlly trying to get into the habit of using them!

also, i really want to get into the scouting world and it honestly was one of my dreams? now that you mention it, i used to really want to be in a troop and roast marshmellows and help others when i was younger but now, idek bc i have so much stuff to take care of

(^^ gotta see if i wanna attend 2023's world scout jamboree in korea lmao jkjk maybe)

but about the last ask where i was just really hopeless, i've just been really anxious about some things in my life right now, and it's adult things that i just try and keep out of but when one of the decisions can be moving across the country, i'm not that restrictive on being anxious ya kno

just wanna fly away to korea except take out the harsh school system there bc... fuck them school systems

fun news, auditioned for a few stuff, starting from my school's production program all the way to a program i'm not allowed to discuss (insert eye emoji bc i can't on my laptop rn)

ANYWAYS shit almost forgot about the qotd

QOTDDDDDD:

favorite 127 song?

aotd: SUPERHUMAN. the "got me feelin' like a super i know i can fly" joke within 127 has got me on that song? so much?

but as for a ballad (bc that song's an edm), i love no longer? i got into 127 a lot more after haechan's acapella behind clip was all over the fandom and gawd zamn was that a nice acapella the hell

QUICK NOTE, yall need to fall in love with zhong chenle (except maybe not for queen daegal's buzz cut she received from him >:/). he's definitely underrated and is often called loud but if you watch a competition type show that he went on (i believe with jisung as well bc idk about that) his voice is just beyond the others (my apologies to the other kids, they were amazing as well) BUT HIS IS SO CLEAR. NOT TO MENTION HE WAS ON THE VIENNA PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA PLEASE WHAT

here's the clip: https://youtu.be/hTTfQJfklFE

rant about zhong chenle is over!

LOVE YOU, DRINK WATER

(like my higher-ups sign off their emails) best,

eggy

our last ever eggy ask !

i’m so glad to here that, darling !!! and you should never beat yourself up about things like that like,, ik you kinda were being careless lmao sorry but it’s obvious even from someone who doesnt really know much about you that its just because your so dedicated !! you seem to love it so much so i hope you keep going !! (if you want lol)

YES!!!! i mean i’m like,, slightly autistic myself (my therapist said it might just be from childhood trauma but basically i show signs of autism :D) so i absolutely love seeing people use them cause it just helps me 100% understand the meaning and i’m so happy about using them and am so down if it helps people !!

honestly i hate camping akdjdkdjdk i’d be a terrible scout,, but my friend on the other hand?🤨 BRILLIANT😙🤌 SHE GOT INVITED THERE BC SHE WAS ONE OF THE BEST SCOUTS IN HER GROUP BRO😎 i mean i bully her for it but it’s actually kinda cool lmao i mean i couldnt do that ALSO I DID NOT KNOW THERE’S A JAMBOREE IN KOREA COMING UP AND I WILL BE ASKING HER ABOUT IT

i really dont have anything to say bc honestly it just sucks about moving across the country and i’ve never even moved house lmao but i get the thing about adult things,, like i turned 17 february this year but it feels like everythings just closing in on me yk?? it suddenly feels like my entire life has just flashed before my eyes and i’m suddenly being shoved into adulthood, so yeah, i get you but i’m still avoiding them myself so all i can say is i hope whatever happens, your outcome is positive :)

NCT 127 UPBEAT SONG: probably welcome to my playground i LOVE that one

SAD SONG: LITERALLY SAME NO LONGER IS SO GOOD BRO I LOVE IT

also, quick note? i am in love with zhong chenle,, that one show he did where they went and stayed with his family?? i watched that several times a month😭 i love him mum

so, for the last time ever i guess!!

bye eggy, don’t forget to drink your water and thanks for dropping by❤️

[fancyfade]

lordimperius said to your post:       

         i dont know anything about batfam, so i think it looks cool, but as someone who actually knows something about them, what would you say are like the biggest issues? if you’re cool with me asking                

okay first of all I didn’t mean to imply like the game was all issues or there’s something wrong with thinking it looks cool and playing it just for the record :P Just to get that out of the way

but NO I don’t mind you asking at all because I Get to blabber about new special interest

also none of this is about plot or gameplay because I wasn’t paying attention to that, I just wanted to know if I could play as my favorite fictional characters. other people look for other stuffs in games (and if one of the ones available is your fave, you’re all set there)

 anyway the first thing I complained about, Tim being Robin, isn’t really an issue. It’s just that i personally find him exceptionally uninteresting. so it’s not like “oh no, tim’s robin, that’s an objectively horrible decision”. it’s just not something that will inspire me to buy a game if I don’t want to buy it, or to *not* buy a game if I do want to buy it.

the other thing I do dislike a lot more because it is kind of ismy even though I don’t know it’s been the new “default” for so long I’m guessing most people have just taken it in strike or adapted to it by now. Barbara Gordon is Batgirl. You may recognize Barbara Gordon as the first or second Batgirl, depending on whether you’re counting the one in the 50s who kind of got subtly phased out of canon for a bit. Anyway, she’s certainly the most well-known Batgirl to people who don’t read a lot of comics. You might have seen her in BTAS or... any other instance where a Batgirl shows up pretty much.

anyway so when she first showed up it was a big fucking deal. here (link) is a pretty good analysis of how it was back then. she wasn’t a side kick, she wasn’t a love interest, etc.

anyway

then she got disabled in the infamous killing joke - she was shot and paralyzed and it was totally for manpain.

but two other writers (kim yale and john ostrander) took that shittiness and made her a confident, wheelchair-using hacker who still is physically capable of kicking ass (as much as some AB fans like to pretend otherwise). she was a person with an acquired disability who got to say that she did more as a disabled person than she did as an able bodied person, and her life was better now. for a while she was one of DCs only wheelchair using superheroes.

anyway whenever DC moves her back to batgirl first of all... they have a huge vacancy where her job used to be (kind of like the superhero for the information age, she has a huge database and lots of tech knowledge. I heard that in New 52 they made tim randomly more techier to fill the oracle shaped hole in our hearts but... yeah)

anyway

they also erase the importance of a disabled life can be just as important and valuable than an able bodied life. that there is quality of life in being a disabled person and you can be a hero. just to kind of appeal to whatever the lowest common denominator is, the easiest thing.

they also erase the batgirl who came after her, cassandra cain who is heavily autistic coded and can kick batman’s ass. she has a really strong and interesting backstory with how she is raised and her deciding to do the right thing after having been raised as a baby assassin. Also... in the comic of the same name (Gotham Knights) Cass was Batgirl and Babs was Oracle.

they essentially take two interesting characters and bring back one character I enjoyed as Batgirl but... I don’t really enjoy her being Batgirl like... when there are other options and it’s not a flash-back sequence anymore. I guess one character that seems more designed to appeal to a wider audience.. because autistic people and wheelchair users don’t buy video games.

anyway so TL;DR: There’s nothing wrong with the game inherently (except magicuring babs again), I just personally find the version of the characters they chose to include either boring or... a boringer version of who they could be. that’s not to say the plot or gameplay will be bad, if it looks good you should check it out.

also hi :P haven’t seen you around in a bit.

[brinesystem]

man

lifes bittersweet

and im gonna go on a rant? but like, a happy one???? idk man

ill put it under a cut or somethin

uh warning for like trauma mentions, if you skip the first half which is all like solid paragraphs you should be able to move right over it.

okay, so for a summary of my life real quick, and this will be p quick...

born, had no dad, lived in DC when 9/11 hit (like, walking distance to everything, IN the city DC), gained a marine dad, moved around on bases a lot, found out that im autistic and have adhd, bullied a lot in school, moved around more, got two sisters, bullied OUT of middle school, re entered a new school, bullied there too, and tHEN my memory actually starts, cause i started existing in hs?

hs also sucked though? and i was abused and became a csa/grooming victim but only online so i feel weird even taking that label, but i AM one in the end? and was so young somehow??? tbh its worse than im putting it but this is the quick version. was abused more emotionally/verbally, physically threatened at home and bullied in school right? almost lost our house too cause we were MAJORLY BROKE. Like, SUPER badly broke.

We get out of there, my mum actually gets our dad to knock it off, i fail out of hs because they changed the grading rules MID-YEAR and didnt tell me until it was too late to fix my grades for it.

cue mental breakdown, which included losing the ability to read for years, and trauma processing, etc etc. this also includes me becoming disabled, because prior to that, i actually wasnt???? i had some issues, but i wasnt disabled. now i am.

got a service dog, the dad ruined that too because he scared him a lot as a puppy and when we finally got to get him to Stop Doing That, it was too late. then the dog gets attacked twice. in home service dog only i guess now.

and then i realise, “oh fuck wait i have did”

forget about it for a year, realised/remembered it like last year and finally start doing some work with the system, finds out ive basically been fronting for like, 10 years straight at this point. only this year managed to let alters other than Fae front more, because i knew about Fae for years? but i didnt know he was an alter?????? look im dumb okay its fine.

anyways.

point is that like, i dont REMEMBER most of this? this summary type shit is what i remember, and then everything else is either a blackout, or just... blurry.

like theres some details and whatever but its mostly just snapshots, and then before hs theres even less blurry and less snapshots and its mostly just black space.

but.

im here?

like, were all here.

my system, we made it. and were alive?

like, none of us thought wed live to 20 but here i am at 24 and im actually usually happy????

its not been EASY at all, but like... i dont know?

my systems my family and i adore them more than i can put into words. the ‘scary’ ones? love them. im not afraid of them because theyre here and in our system with me and are here to help. ones been helping for longer than ive existed, like??? thats amazing? good job???? fuck.

anyways.

we werent doing okay for a long time, and then we split a lot during trauma processing pt.1 because like. no therapist. i dont recommend doing that btw dont trauma process without a therapist its not worth it.

but like.

a lot changed and i know i split shit and lost some of the memories i used to have. i KNOW that happened, because i remember remembering things that i cant recall now.

which is a weird feeling but im sure you get it.

but like.

im glad we did? like i get it. and i know that some of those alters dont front much/at all/ever anymore, but i think theyre still in there somewhere... and i love them?

theyre great. and they helped us a ton.

and two of the alters that split from that (or the trauma before maybe? idk) integrated and the result is another alter (and a completed fragment) and theyre both amazing too???

i know a lot of people complain about getting more alters or splitting or fragments and such but i just...

i dont know. maybe im just really fucking lucky... and i wouldnt put that past this tbh. but i dont mind it? we function a ton better like this, and its... so nice to see them be able to interact with people?

also theyre both introjects who LOVE interacting with others alters from their source and like

its so nice to know theyre here and happy and found the people they love again?

and i have feelings on introjects and i know theres a lot of drama going on for some reason but like. a part of did is that your relationships from the beginning of your life arent stable, right? and these introjects, they not only have those relationships in theory, but they managed to find them again?? here and now?

they have what we werent able to before, and im so happy for them and theyre delighted about it and its just...

idk.

im really happy sappy and emotional and i just am kind of writing a love letter to my system right now i guess.

cause we made it. were here and tbh this year? sucks ass. the past four years have sucked ass. a LOT of shit sucks ass. but we’re still here. were standing and fighting and enjoying life and just...

one of the alters who integrated is the one who managed to stop us from being suicidal, because he convinced me that like... “if you hate your life, that means youre not enjoying it. so, if youre not having fun, its not a life worth living to you. so have fun.”

and that was life changing for us?????

for ME?

and hes Honey now and honey is joyous and enjoys life to the fullest

but the other alter who made up honey wasnt able to do that.

and now they both are? as honey?

and thats fucking amazing????????? like????

i dont feel like i lost either of them. theyre just Honey now. and hes loving life???

i mean yeah hes got a full range of emotions now which means he can feel sad and angry while the others has more limited but like... isnt that better?

isnt it so much better to feel those?

it feels so much less shallow when youre overjoyed when you know what sorrow feels like. its so much deeper because theres that bittersweet tinge of “it wasnt always like this”

and i think thats what im getting at.

it wasnt always like this.

and it wont always be like this.

but we made it this far...

so i want to keep going.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 13

‘what, already?’ cry the people.  ‘yes, already,’ say kc and diesel. ‘but only for like a hot second.’

okay lets just jump right on in HOORAH

It was raining. The sky roiled saltpeter grey overhead. There were Grimm nearby. Glynda touched the cracked lens of her glasses and wiped away the fat drop of rain which had splattered against it. It was cool on her fingers. She stopped walking.

i love the transition from cinder’s POV which is all meaty slimy big wet slippery fancy words to glyndas ‘listen. words are. hard.’ look at this writing. look at it. lick it.

She stood very still, trying to remember where it was.

Her hand rose to her collar. It found waterproof fabric. She was wearing her poncho.

okay but drag me i do this all the time.

It might have bothered her, if she were the kind of Huntress to be bothered by discomfort.

this whole chapter/bit/arc/everything might have bothered her, if she were the kind of huntress, to have a braincell,

also gonna double back for JUST a moment since i’m on full 👈😎👈 neighbourhood watch and i think

The Manticore seared the sky beyond the clouds like a second sun.

I FEEL LIKE THATS A 👈😎👈. IN FACT I’M PRETTY CONVINCED OF IT, ACTUALLY. HM. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-- 

its hard to like. rly say how good this narration is in its own little way because its so. like that. you know. but its making such good use of the, like, negative space between sentences that everything feels so good and disjointed and did i mention the writing alone -- like even if we ignore literally Everything Else -- blows offal hunt v1 out of the water??? like who even is that bitch. idk her. but yeah like it feels both real fast and real slow, like yr skipping from one thought to another but yr not actually GETTING anywhere? it’s like that classic case of ‘talking a lot but not saying anything’. anyway i love this fic and u should too, is my point,

Cinder made a sound. It was the kind of sound people made when they weren’t having a good time.

you know what thats a LOADED sentence and also a MOOD. what sound is that? im not sure but i Feel It. In Fact Im Feeling It Right Now.

Cinder always seemed to be having a good time.

“I need to talk to you,” Glynda said.

Cinder said, “Read the note on your Scroll.”

i dont know WHY written instructions is SO funny to me but it IS and its probably because i. have also done this. look maybe. just maybe. we in the autistic community really DO toss the braincell around like a hot potato maybe we’re onto smthng here,

Your soul is fucking disgusting, so follow me at a distance.

wrow cinder u have SUCH  way w/ words. also have u considered that yr the gross one here,

dont trust ozpin

OUGH THAT HURTED. MX AUTHORS THAT ONE REALLY HURTED.

To be a Huntress just like her mothers.

hell yes

i am still laughing at them being like. separated like this. BECAUSE IN THE FIRST VERSION IT WAS ALL 👈😎👈 AND 👈😍👈 AND 👈😏👈 but now we gotta wait for it we gotta MUSCLE THRU this SHIT. im sorry that was all very vague but trust me i know exactly what this is running up to. the fabled 👈😳👈 bit U KNO THE ONE!!!!!!!!! anyway,

After a moment, she added her to her contacts.

is her contact name 👿😡😒💩cinder “ew” fall🤬😡🤮🙅‍♀️ or

this joke isnt even funny but finding those emojis took like five whole minutes so im sticking to it

The addition said: dont trust winter

do you ever just LAUGH because 👈😔👈 but also because 👈🤣👈 cause I SURE DO

im. I KNOW I SHOULDNT but the fact cinder has to rely on fucking phonecalls because she cant get close is just the funniest fucking thing. this is some peak humour here ngl. can you fucking imagine. ‘you stinky so im just gonna call u’. the audacity.

The Manticore felt close as flame.

👈😎👈

god do i have to do this for every reference to fire now. i mean yes. also but. why.

okays theres a bit here. theres a Bit. it ends like this

In every story, the witch and the dragon were enemies.

but this Bit is just fucking loaded to the gills with bloody 👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈 so im just. ACKNOWLEDGING THE BIT AND MOVING ON. OKAY WE’RE MOVING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her Scroll made a sound like fractured glass against the wall.

me: stop talking abt how much u like the narration also me: but do the people KNOW

The smooth metal was badly cracked. She tried to remember when that had happened.

did you know the concept of her having a cracked Scroll is giving me more anxiety than anything else in this fic. please can someone replace it cracked screens STRESS ME OUT--

this bit i have to depict as a screenshot but god. GOD. its SO GOOD:

u ever read a fic and be like ‘i wanna like. do smthng like that’ ME W/ THIS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ITS JUST THE LITTLE THINGS!!!!

“You have to stop... You’re going to kill me.”

everyone else reading this part, probably: oof ough me: SHES KILLING ME TOO BABE!!!!!!! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS INHUMAN SHIT HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE LOOK AT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO ARE LIKE THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF NORMAL PEOPLE IM THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like srsly idk what it is. but getting into all this fuckin crazy shit has me AMPED AS FUCK... i love this weird shit,,,,,,,,, like when og offal hunt kinda touched it i was like ‘nice’ but this version is just. swan-diving into it butt-first and i’m THRIVING.

“We—We’ll talk. Just stop. Please.” 

see i was thinking this when she was ignoring her msgs like. cinder are you aware you are. how they say. actively making it worse? and now she reaps what shes sown and i dont feel bad for her AT ALL ~~~~~~~~~~~

“You can’t imagine what the last three weeks have been like. I can barely sleep when you’re in the same town, did you know that? It’s like swallowing salt… I feel pickled, and I didn’t even think your soul could affect me—"

theres smthng rly poetic abt their suffering being like. directly interlinked but having the total opposite effect to the other? so glynda suffers and basically caves in and feels nothing and cinder suffers and feels Every Bad Feeling Ever Felt and i just. hm. soulmates. JHGDSFJGHKDF

“Close to her, and now you,” Cinder insisted. “It’s too much of a coincidence. I’m just reading what’s there.”

“remnant is probably flat,” says cinder. “i’m just saying what my eyes see.”

She stowed it away next to Vivienne's, in a place where she would never lose them. In a million years, she would never lose them.

hey when does cinder’s name go there too asking for a friend the friend is me

i feel like bacia’s also been name dropped early!!! which is nice because y’all know im, how the kids say, a Slut for lore. anyway im liking the stronger implications of her ties to 👈😎👈 which im also thrilled abt so theres that too

“Maybe not." It was the tone of someone who didn't care. Who didn't love her.

THATS. HM. THATS AN INTERESTING ADDITION ON THE END OF THAT LINE. HM. HELLO? HM. HM. am i reading too much into it PROBABLY do i care NO

“Yes,” Glynda said. “Goodnight, Cinder.” Glynda heard Cinder’s hesitance. The line went dead.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM--

AND WE REACH THE END. boy was that a surprisingly action-packed chapter considering they dont. do anything. A HALLMARK OF GOOD WRITING. anyway this is probably? my fav chapter so far (WILD) and i am PUMPED to see how much Weirder this whole things gonna get so with that said, im gonna sit here and WAIT FOR IT.