#but yeah! i hope im not boring u with all that lmao

[sanestparadisecitizen]

heyyy! Ive seen the ask game so here are my questions!! 24.what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for? 12.what’s some good advice you want to share? 5.what made you start your blog?

aaa tysm for asking!!

24. what am i proud of myself for?

if i said "staying alive" then it would be true but rlly short and boring, so i'll say that applying for a job! it'll be hard for a Lot of reasons, but passing up that opportunity would be a crime, its fit for me perfectly! (its a bakery!! and im diabetic!! how ironic XD) time to kick the social anxiety in the ass and do something with my life 😭

12. what's some good advice i wanna share?

oh damnn, i rlly wondered what to write here so it wouldn't get super depressing and personal. and i don't think that i have any universal advice, cuz its all things that worked out for me in very specific situations. but something real important to me would be to never try to imitate someone, cuz it just stalls your progress. in everything. whether it's that you wanna look like someone, you envy their lifestyle, personality, or hell, even wanting to make art like they do. people are like they are or do things like they do because of so much circumstances and experiences combined together, so referencing one person for everything is never gonna work. you'll never be like them because you are you, and you'll be beautiful and do beautiful things in your own, individual way. and having one point of reference never works out because it just makes you stuck with one perspective, unopen to improvement.

(↑ this came out so unintentionally deep, lmao. i certainly didn't mean it to be so, and i hope i conveyed my point well cuz words hate me today)

5. what made me start my blog?

yay, ending on a lighter note! the short answer is: fandoms. i really liked how smaller, less overwhelming (?) tumblr is when it comes to things you wanna look at, so when i was balls deep in a hyperfixation i went to tumblr and surrounded myself with only that one thing :3 and i found out it fits me more in how the whole, how do you say it, format? looks and works. i got more active when i made a new blog when my previous got deleted and elongated muskrat started fucking twitter up, so i guess im kind of a twitter refugee XD it worked WONDERS for my mental health, i tell ya. now its my "main" social media that i spend time on :3

[hearts4golbach]

could u do johnnie guilbert smut? maybe with him being sub? like whimpering and shit 💀 idk how else to explain lmao 😭

Disco Stick. (Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.)

warning: consensual sex under the influence of alcohol.

im not sure if all of this is true so if its not pretend it is!

-

The club was definitely not my first choice of entertainment, but it'd do. Me and F/n pulled up to the most popular club near us, hoping we'd meet new guys to spice up our boring lives.

we got in surprisingly quick and went to find somewhere to sit and get drinks. we settled on the bar, sitting in the very far corner so we wouldnt bother anyone. I ordered my usual while f/n decided not to drink at all so she could drive us home. sadly, next time id be designated driver.

"its boring over here, once you get your drink lets go walk around or something." she offered, sipping her sprite.

i nodded in agreement. shorty after, i finally got my drink and we got up to walk around. i sipped on my drink as we began to walk into a crowd. i was worried id spill it. i pushed through a couple people carefully, making not to disturb anyone. 2 guys with black hair stood in front of me, i began to swerve around them before one turned around, bumping into me. luckily, my drink didnt get spilt.

"shit, i am so sorry." i heard an old, oddly familiar voice apologize.

"its all good," i looked up to see his face. "no fucking way, johnnie? do you remember me from chemistry?"

excitement twinkled in his eyes as he smiled. "yeah, you were the best lab partner i ever had. how could i forget?"

"i remember you too!" jake said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"sorry, jake! how could i forget you, you always made chemistry genuinely funny!"

"junior year chem was the shit with the 3 of us!" johnnie added as he giggled.

"we should catch up! ill buy you 2 a drink!" i yell over the blaring music.

"im down." he grinned. i grabbed his hand and we walked back to the bar, f/n and jake behind us.

as we sat back down, i introduced them to f/n. "this is f/n, she didnt go to the same highschool as us but we went to middle school together and weve been friends ever since."

jake shook her hand and johnnie waved. "im jake, and this is johnnie." he said, tilting his head towards johnnie.

"hey! its nice to meet you guys." she smiled sweetly.

we spent a couple more hoirs drinking and reminiscing over all of the awkward but funny moments we had together. the three of us were the chemistry group as people would say. although we fucked off a lot, all of us ended with a 95% or higher because we made that class bearable. id rather not talk about my other grades, though.

by the time we were leaving, me and johnnie were drunk as fucking sailors. we held onto eachother, stuck like glue as we giggled over everything. we frequently tripped, unsure of our footing causing f/n or jake to help us regain our shared balance. i had my arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other holding onto the arm that was wrapped around my waist. me and johmnie clicked, just like old times.

f/n and jake threw us in the backseat. johnnie laid his head on my shoulder and i rested my head on top of his. i was nearly asleep before i was awoken by johnnie gagging loudly. "ew, what the fuck was that about?" i slurred.

"i felt like it." he laughed. i rolled my eyes and got out of the car as we parked. i dragged johnnie out behind me and gripped onto him the same way i had before.

while i was drifiting off, f/n and jake had decided theyd just stay the night at our apartment. me and johnnie were estatic about our sleepover. "why dont we just share your bed?" he smiled and laughed, making his eyes squint.

i sighed contently. "that sounds amazing. you can be my pillow." i smiled sweetly.

"of course." johnnie slurred, following me into my room.

"goodnight, lovebugs, sleep tight." f/n teased while jake ooo'd from the living room.

i laughed at her comment and laid in bed next to johnnie. he looked deeply into my eyes, looking like he had something to say but holding back. but i knew what he wanted to say, and i wanted to say it too. "i was in love with you all throughout highschool." i confessed.

"really?" his face brightened, "i was, too. theres not a day where you dont cross my mind, still." he admitted.

"me too, i was so scared to reach out. i wish you said something before we graduated." i frowned.

"me too." he whispered, his eyes flickering down to my lips then back up into my eyes. his blue eyes pierced through mine, making my insides turn to mush.

we gazed into eachothers eyes for a solid minute before i leaned in and kissed him. he immediately kissed me back, grabbing my waist and pulling me in. it was passionate and needy, making chills run down my spine. i pressed into him, wanting more. his tongue swiped my bottom lip. i ran my fingers through his hair before flipping us over and sitting on top of him. his hands carefully slid down to my ass, giving it a gentl squeeze before moving down to grip my thighs.

johnnie pulled back. "is this okay?" he asked, breathing heavily.

i nodded fast, pulling him back in. i grinded down onto his hard member, making him whimper quietly into my mouth. he began to take off my shirt, breaking the kiss long enough that i could get his off, too. i lazily unbuttoned his pants, not bothering to break the kiss. i felt his hot breath heavy on my face. i pulled his jeans down just enough so i could see his boxers.

"fuck, y/n," johnnie whispered, pulling my shorts and underwear off from under my skirt. he didnt bother removing it.

i desperately oulled his boxers down, revealing his hardened cock. i bit my lip as i looked up at him. "youre okay with this, right?"

"yes, please, i need you so bad." johnnie moaned quietly, gripping my hips as i

lined up my entrance with his tip.

i slowly began to sit, just as eager to feel him inside of me as he was. "you dont know how long ive wanted to do this, pretty boy. fuck, you feel so good." i moaned, leaning down to kiss his neck, i sucked and bit, leaving dark hickeys all over his neck and chest.

his fingertips left prints in my hips, which were most likely going to bruise in the morning but the pressure was perfect. he melted under my touch, whimpereing curses under his breath.

i sped up the pace, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. "youre so amazing," i moaned, placing my hands on his chest and tracing his tattoos.

"fuck, if you keep doing that im going to cum even quicker." he admitted, throwing his head back and biting down onto his lip.

i swiftly bounced on his cock, moaning and praises filled the room. "you fuck me so good." i tell johnnie, making his cock twitch inside of me.

"im going to cum," he whimpered and moaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

"cum with me, johnnie." i cursed under my breath.

my body tensed as i felt my stomach swirl and knot. i hit my climax, slowly riding his dick to help him ride out his high as well. he pulled out and came all over my stomach. "fuck." he said one last time, his body going limp.

i dropped down next to him, pulling the covers over our naked bodies. "i needed that so bad." i admitted before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

wrapped in eachothers arms, we slept like rocks.

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ✨

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

[chaseprice]

hi!! hope i’m not a bother. i just came across u and i wanted to ask something,,,

basically, i joined the life is strange fandom in 2018 so i never got to experience the pre-bts era, meaning i didn’t get to experience what rachel was like to the fandom back then or see the different interpretations of her.

i did some digging and i found some fan content of her from 2015-2016 & i’m absolutely infatuated with all aspects of the fanon version of her, especially her personality & how she looked. i totally wanna embody her. also the love is strange vn was so interesting to play, i love how she was written. i’d love to know more!

i stumbled across ur blog while i was doing my digging and i saw an old long post of urs saying how bts didn’t live up to the fandoms expectations, as almost everyone perceived her differently.

sorry for all the yapping LOL but what i basically wanna ask is,,, how *exactly* did the fandom perceive rachel back then (2015-2016). what were some popular headcanons for her? things you guys even considered to be canon? what were some of your own *personal* headcanons? (can be silly, realistic,,, just anything you thought resonated with her)

do you have any favorite arts from that time period that you thought really captured her? what were your hopes for the prequel/rachels character before it was released? what did you want to see in terms of story? was rachel’s style, appearance, & personality extremely different than what you expected? what did you expect?

i assume that rachels treatment in the fandom was different then than what it is now. whether it’s better or worse, i’m not sure. i was hoping u could answer that too😞. recently i’ve just been seeing constant hatred or lack of care for her character so i’m starting to think that if bts was written differently and based on the fandom’s interpretations instead, the hate now wouldn’t be this bad.

from my digging it seems like you guys had alot of fun sculpting rachel’s character on your own, and the interpretations were probably more realistic than what decknine put together.

anyway i’m sorry for the yapping essay on this random saturday, most old lis accounts are dead & i didn’t know who else to ask☹️. just trying to relive what you guys experienced the best i can. hope i’m not bombarding you with this. thank you so much if u respond !!

hiii u def did not bother me, i am not in a position to answer all of these questions, but although it makes me feel ancient, it's cute to see so much passion for rachel and pre-BTS fandom opinion, so i'll try answer some and for the rest (art, hcs, etc.) im just gonna have to direct you to my archive* (will continue under the readmore)

*(tumblr archive is so broken on mobile so you gotta go on pc for this, but also there's so many gifs from that time so it will Definitely slow down your browser). i was insane and 17 years old so like, just excuse all of the cringe content i guess. you can click tag and filter it by either #lis #rachel amber #amberprice or whatever to try and find stuff like art. and i got into lis sept 2015 so that's like, as far back as it will go, but i was fully lisbrained from 2016 through 2018)

to be honest, in alignment with pre-bts thought lmao, rachel is whoever you want her to be. there was less of 'this is a correct objective fact about her personality/history' and more 'yeah, this is an idea the fandom really likes and has become fanon, most likely because it is a nuanced and entertaining and realistic interpretation of what we have seen of her character in lis1' which means people whose opinions conflicted with that might've be contested/laughed at/unpopular, but they weren't wrong per se. there were plenty of people i'd criticise (and ridicule) back then for implying that this teenage girl was evil, and being a teenager myself back then, i'd call them morally reprehensible and cancellable and whatever, but tbh, as an adult now, i can just see that it was simply a boring interpretation of her character informed by misogyny

i'd disagree with the notion that fandom treatment of rachel's character was better before bts, back then there were plenty of people seemingly excited to characterise her as emotionally manipulative, a cheater, deserved what she got, etc. as well, bc tbh, the story did leave room for that interpretation, but it left room for so much more as well. i feel like bts just really locked in on a certain story they wanted to tell plot-wise, and didn't choose to explore a lot of the questions fans had about rachel as a person. it's hard to turn the ambiguity of a friendship turned situationship over a period of 4 years into a playable experience for an audience - so they didn't. regardless, it got people thinking about rachel more, putting a spotlight on her, hence increased attention both positive and negative. i feel like there's just a fundamental difference between what lis1 fans enjoyed about the potential for her character and how she related with chloe and the world around her, and what deck9 wanted to portray in bts (yes they hit the astrological headcanons, the charmingness, her rebellion, the emotional conflicts... but it personally felt hollow, contrived sometimes, i suppose). but there were a lot of people who loved bts (i enjoyed a lot of parts of it!). just, in my opinion, some of those were quite different people from who loved lis1, and with that wave it brought a lot of emotional immaturity to the fandom (like... ship wars, really? that was an insane change to fandom dynamics for me lmao, but maybe i was just spoiled by surrounding myself with people whose takes i respected)

anyway i highly recommend also that if you're hungry for that kind of content, read fanfiction on AO3 by the old fans - by Mogatrat (TON of rachel centric ones there), explosionshark and tippytypewriter, chicknparm (though Cusp is written post-bts, it's informed by pre-bts characterisations), vicepoint (me hehe), def many more good ones out there those r jus my friends so they come to mind first, e.g. i liked homecoming by kriegersan back in the day, but you could def find some more by sorting the lis ao3 page by kudos and reading the older ones that are highly rated featuring rachel. and lastly, my gf wrote a beautifully worded blog post called "The Assassination of Rachel Amber by the Cowards Dontnod and Deck Nine" which gets into some of this from a media crit perspective (not about fandom) in a very eloquent way thru comparison w twin peaks and i highly recommend that

rachel hcs that def started way before bts: skater rachel, stoner rachel, punk music listener rachel (but also like, fleetwood mac cranberries cocteau twins grungy hippy stuff rachel too), rachel's parents being distant and still living in california, curvy thick rachel, things that i've accepted as canon but were def created by diff people: bri explosionshark hc'd that rachel paid for chloe's sleeve, mogatrat (i think) hc'd that rachel initially went to get her nips pierced with chloe (that's a longtime fan hc now idk who started that one) but chickened out at the last minute, i think she also hc'd that chloe made the earring for rachel which is cute too

[sakitenmaenjoyer]

4 the fic ask thing if u want to share info on any or all of them I would clap and cheer

fuck yeah

emunene little mermaid au: ive talked about this like once, but it's basically what it sounds like. emu is a princess; nene is a mermaid

plot stuff, emu goes on a ship, emu is saved by nene when her ship goes down, and she's very !!!! when she realizes that nene is the one with the singing voice she'd been hearing right after her grandpa died. unfortunately she is half delirious when she's saved and doesn't remember how nene looks. emu vows to look for the beautiful lady with the beautiful voice....

ruinene and emukasa would be the platonic pairings in the fic. i considered having tsukasa be emu's fiance? if only to parallel the original story. nene won't stab tsukasa. probably. but she does find him deeply annoying at first. he and emu might be close enough to consider a marriage of convenience...still havent figured that part out yet. nene gets less annoyed by tsukasa when she sees why he's emu's friend

rui is the sea witch, and he helps nene become temporarily human.

i dont have any of it fleshed out but i want to do something with the idea so bad. emu dragging nene to see the sights of the human world and to socialize.......nene being emu's company for longer than either knew. nene realizing the value of her voice when it's gone....she thought being silent wouldn't be any different from normal, but emu made her want to talk, and to sing, to yell and laugh. she wants to have an our happy ending moment with emu but she can't

rui angst fic/TtSaB/Working Title: "When faced with the unthinkable, Rui struggles to navigate old feelings and new fears. Fortunately, he has his friends by his side... it's just a matter of letting them in."

this is a fic ive been chipping at had since curtain call came to en LMAO. i asked 'hey can i have curtain call rui please please please ill write and post that fic idea i have' and rui came home in a single pull. so im legally bound to write and post it eventually. here's some of the scenes ive done

actual dogshit writing lmao. but yeah this fic is more serious than any of my other prsk ideas. i wanted rui to have at least one important scene with each wxs member, because their friendship is at the core of this. also wanted to include the vocaloids bc it's not project sekai without them....even if the idea of talking about your personal problems to hatsune miku is. well.

the plot and title is under wraps for the time being, but here's my notes on how i want to characterize rui

the fic should be 8 chapters. It's teetering between a Teen Rating and a Mature Rating, but I should probably write the rest before deciding anything...

other:

whenever im bored, i format unwritten fic ideas into stories on ao3. ive written absolutely almost nothing for either of these, but it's nice to imagine i have lmao

But I'm Still Here: Saki goes invisible, and everyone around her proceeds to freak out as they search for the 'missing' girl. includes tsukasa ping ponging between 'we'll find her, we have to' and 'it's so fucking over', leo/need trkes and failing not to fall into depression, and saki feeling guilty that Everyone's lives are put on hold for her. the original idea was set before they debut, but maybe it should be after (so toya would have surpassed rad weekend already lmao).

everyone who adores saki makes themselves sick with worry. especially since it lasts about a week. tsukasa has not been that anxious in his fucking life. he's coping...fine. he's doesn't throw himself down while wailing at least. and he doesnt vomit from stress (preventing both takes a lot of self control). leo/need try to be strong for each other, but they are all sad shivering dogs. shiho wants to punch to be useful but knows she can't do anything. ichika tries to stay hopeful, like saki would want. honami tries to be their calm leader...but theyre like, 16/17, so theyre all just anxious.

Phthonus: Rui is envious and sad the fic, rip bozo. it'd be an introspective fic. i'd want rui to subconsciously compare and contrast himself and bakuno, and come to the realization that tsukasa (romantically) likes the parts of bakuno that rui doesn't have (bakuno's timidness, his lack of confidence, his acting, his ability to not annoy tsukasa lmao). but he also has traits that rui does have (his passion for theatre, obsession with writing stories, talent above his age range, the ability to bounce ideas off of tsukasa)

tsukasa still loves rui, but he never saw him in a romantic light. if he ever did, then it's too late....tsukasa set his eyes on bakuno and went "i can fix him". and unfortunately, tsukasa isn't polyamorous. rui deals with the heartache every time he sees tsukasa, even though it hurts him. he loves him too much to ever look away

uhh other stuff without titles-

bakuno/tsukasa fic, maybe a kotaro/akito fic. they would be in a series about the npcs waxing poetic about the ocs. throw in some pairings like miyake & rui, otori siblings & emu, yukki and mizuki, nagi and an....but the first fic would be bakukasa because i like them a lot lmao

Another rui is jealous fic, but it ends in rks- bakuno and tsukasa sign up to be gay lovers in a short film and rui's clenches his teeth and tries not to mope over it. (he is the one that asked them to do it) he does not know why and thinks there's something wrong with the film/acting rather than himself. he's stupid. meanwhile tsukasa is slowly realizing he likes men bc of gay research he did... and while he thinks bakuno is cute, he's immediately hit in the face that he likes rui a Lot.

saki in mogami land fic- saki gets isekaid in a hell world where everyone hates her/doesn't know her. i cant decide yet. maybe both. tsukasa and her parents say mean shit to her, ichika avoids her, her favorite idol doesn't even know who she is. the ending is her going back to her normal world, where she proceeds to be crushed by tsukasa and her parents (she went missing for a week. tsukasa cries the hardest at her reappearance... though her parents aren't too far behind) this is another "i want to show saki how loved she is by taking it away from her" fic

ruikasa are fucking dumb fic - tsukasa confesses to rui, they get together, and then things go down hill because neither know how to act in a new relationship. tsukasa wants to be a good boyfriend, so he treats rui differently (in a way that bothers rui). he's probably sweet and nice and doting, which rui like, but it feels more like a role tsukasa wants to perfect. rui wants tsukasa to be himself. at the same time, rui also wants to be a good boyfriend, but becomes aware that he has no idea how to do that...so instead he subconsciously tests their relationship, wondering just how far he could push tsukasa to get him to go back to "normal". the conclusion is that theyre stupid and just needed to adjust and realize nothing changed

future wxs meets present wxs - there r so many ideas i have for this it'd fucking ridiculous. the most prominent one is future rks meeting present wxs. another one is 3rd anni tsukasa meeting pre wonder magical showtime tsukasa

wxs takes care of child wxs - due to sekai bs, there are teenage wxs and child wxs. they all take turns and interact with the kids...tsukasa and baby rui & nene and baby rui would be cute i think. my ideas are

1) baby rui getting sad that tsukasa said his ideas are too dangerous (he's literally five and wants to jump from a high place). tsukasa feels guilty about his sad little face and offers to do it for rui. cue rui's excitement that an adult wants to try his idea

2) baby rui looks at grown nene like a proud parent and says 'i'm so proud of you nene' and nene goes 'you're literally five. also youve told me that before.' she still says thank you though, bc it's cute and she's fond

child/middle school wxs meets emu's grandpa - rakunosuke shows up during difficult times in tsukasa/rui/nene's lives and helps them smile. none of them remember him, but during that moment, he's a bright light. maybe some emu/rakunosuke parallels?

kamiyama group during mizuki5 - i made a post abt this already, but a silly fun fic to what fun everyone had at the festival. nobody knows mizuki is suffering. very bittersweet

saki helps tsukasa get ready for a date with rui - saki gives tsukasa questionable dating advice and tsukasa ends up botching date with rui (rui doesnt care). includes tsukasa trying to be a gentleman, saki getting love advice from manga and magazines, and rui having a good time watching tsukasa fumble be a gentleman

arcland rui - canon rui wakes up in universe where he joined arcland and asahi. it shows an alternative path rui could have taken, and how that path would have been every bit as valid as keeping wxs together

...unfortunately, rui isn't happy with this because wxs disbanded and he doesn't talk to them as often. he doesn't even go to school with them anymore. (also he has a situationship thing with asahi And tsukasa but he doesn't notice either of them lmao)

i probably have others but these are the ones that come to mind first...hope this is all okay!

[batw1nggg]

this is just me being silly but im making a script for an essay video analyzing all of nagito's songs because i realized a lot of people dont even know about all of them especially poison i have absolute hope birthday and remaining cherry blossoms practically finished but i have no idea where to start with what poison is about lmao

if u do end up recording the essay PLZZZ LINK !!! i would love to see !!!!

ok so i’ll only be able to give a very surface level analyzation because i don’t know japanese and translations between eng and jp are always sort of janky, i might get some things wrong or miss some nuances (if anyone knows some japanese and wants to chime in please please do!!). but i can definitely give u the basic gist of it. translation taken from the danganronpa fandom wiki page. ok here we go

so the song takes place when komaeda kills himself (“I believe that hope / And will offer my pulsating heart / For the sake of that brilliance / I’ll tear apart my chest / Until the very last drop / Trickles down and wets my lips”, “I am merely watching over you”).

To me it seems like a summary of his thought process — he mentions wanting to “meet the biggest hope” (the hope that will overcome the despair of and end the killing game), how he has “no need for worthless things / anything ordinary and boring” (his thoughts on talentless people). those parts of the song are just outlining the basics of his worldview.

but, because this song is about komaeda’s death, it’s also inextricably tied to hinata. we see this most explicitly with the line “I love, and want to understand / him more than anyone else”. a main theme of komahina is their desire to understand each other.

That’s the really obvious hinata reference, but he also seems to be referenced more subtly throughout:

- “I have no need for worthless things / anything ordinary and boring / What meaning is there to words that will neither be deadly poison nor cure?” this is komaeda talking about how he thinks talentless people are boring, they’re neither shining hope (like the ultimates) nor crushing despair (like junko) and are just pawns in the game; but also, who exactly was it that chose to be neither deadly poison (despair) or cure (hope)? to create an ending separate of hope and despair altogether, to create a new choice, to focus on the future? komaeda’s asking what meaning there is to anything that is neither pure hope nor pure despair — anything that is not necessary to the cycle of hope and despair. hinata will go on to give him the answer.

- “When drinking poison poured into a glass will you drink it immediately or throw it away?” this one seems vague but I’m inclined to believe it’s about hinata because it’s followed by “I am merely watching over you / to whom the last choice is given”. the “whom” is very obviously hinata, he’s the one that makes the choice to wake up and then inspires everyone else to choose the same. that former lyric about the poison seems to be a fancy way of komaeda asking whether or not hinata will give into the despair of finding out the truth (drinking the poison) or decide to keep going despite it (throwing it away). he’s watching over hinata in death, entrusting hinata with that decision.

hinata being a core part of this song really speaks to how much trust komaeda was putting into hinata in chapters 5 and 6. i’ve already made a post or two about how komaeda’s faith in hinata to solve trial 5 and survive trial 6 was an integral factor in the game’s ending. komaeda can’t talk about his death without hinata being part of the conversation; hinata is the only one who’s ever tried to understand him instead of completely writing him off as insane, he’s a big part of komaeda’s life. we see at the end of the komaeda pov manga that hinata was komaedas last thought before death.

so yeah. to summarize: the song is about chapter 5. komaeda talks about his worldview, talks about how his worldview and faith in hope led to his sacrifice, and talks about his faith in hinata.

[indirecticn]

just as info... because im a bitch who has to over explain everything...

i am on like, not semi hiatus but def. semi slow down for a bit and here's why. under the cut is a lot of boring work garbage, feel free to ignore lol

ok SO here's the thing

i think i mentioned it before but like a month or two ago my company fired five people, four of which were like directly in my operations group. we are a bulk liquid e.xport team that specializes in fle.xi bags being loaded like... well, with bulk liquids lmao. its not super hard but it is TEDIOUS as fuck what i have to do on a daily basis.

i have direct contact with suppliers and traders purchasing from suppliers and i coordinate the full movement of product so basically customer tells me: i need X amt of product moved from point a in the usa to point b in the world. they specify, often, the particulars of like.. what steamship lines to use based on rate, or like on end destination preferences, and they expect us to typically coordinate the trucker to pick up food grade containers that then live load or transload at a supplier's plant and then get ingated back into whatever port terminal to get on a vessel and make specific arrival times at their end destination.

like idk some of u might even be in this industry too, so u kno what i mean.

the PROBLEM is that i am expected to get the booking with the ssl, coordinate the trucker, make sure the product gets loaded both within the customer's expected window + within a window where containers can be ingated against said booking's vessel, with OUT additional cost (so things can't sit on yards and get storage or detention for drivers or have additional legs in the trucking which means more money to pay trucker ect ect) and i have to load the amount the customer requests AND

Sometimes the product has to go on rail and that has specific regulations and sometimes the product is hazardous and has to be pre approved on the SSL to even be booked but the customer sent a request asking to load the next week so they get mad you dont get a confirmation within the same day because the haz approval has to be granted by the transhipment port half way across the world too because SOME ports don't take haz and some do but only certain kinds and and and and....

sometimes there is a vessel congestion in the ports or bad weather that shuts down ports or plants, or sometimes drivers have mechnical issues or just miss their fkn appts to load or show up with wrong equipment or ... or there is no container your driver can find because the ssl is out of them at that particular port location or...

yeah.

and so take that and then give me one account that is incredibly picky, sends requests last minute, mostly of randomly haz bullshit, and expects u to lick their boots....

and then another account where i am expected to maintain a perfect constant flow of bookings out of four different ports and the amount expected is like... ohhh 28 a week out of one, 10 out of another, 20 out of two others... and THEN that same customer sends you 75 FUCKING RAILCARS TO ONE SINGLE RAILSPUR/TRUCKER THAT CAN ONLY TRANSLOAD TWO A DAY, MAYBE FOUR TOPS, AND and your boss told them that there would be NO storage charged back to them so you have to now hope to god all the railcars dont show up at once because then you have to meet that four day vessel window and at MOST can load out like 10 of the railcars, if that, if you are lucky with perfect conditions but WHOOPS ALL 75 ARE THERE AT ONCE SO ACTUALLY fuck your life you get storage on 65 railcars and it shows on YOUR account that you lost money

and also?

you have to do the customs filing and documentation for destination arrival and have a window for that too and must have the info perfect or there is charges for fucking it up or containers getting stuck in customs at the destination...

yeah.

my co workers are overwhelmed and they have like maybe 60 containers on their desk a month?

my fucking dumb ass customer gives me a total currently of 450.

and yes, they fired people so i dont have a lot of back up until they hire someone new to take over this single stupid account so i can focus on others.

ive been working from like 6am to 7pm if not later because of this. im looking at other jobs but nothing pays as well currently and i technically like my team its just frustrating because ... yeah.

i hate this industry. i haaaaate it. supposedly im good at it but i dont care. i just want to survive having to pay rent or car payments and getting food, you know?

and i want to be able to do what i love which is write... and this job is melting my brain and just got exponentially more ugly within the last two weeks.

so anyway thats where im at and until i either change jobs or my desk chills out or they hire someone OR i get back on my adhd meds (lol that is really NOT helping to be off of them) im going to be slow.

but whatever, yall are great and i know those that want to will stick around so i appreciate you

thanks for coming to my ted talk bye

[callmearcturus]

ARCHIE. just indulged my mom's tom cruise obsession by watching dead reception in imax and oh MAN i can see why you like these. indulge me. is your main ship ethan/benji bc i am ALL over it, im also a big fan of the ethan/benji/luther triad so if u got anything hit me UP

i am currently the gayest dyke in paris after seeing ilsa, grace, alana, AND that chick named paris (my favorite) all in succession so if u got any steamy shit for the ladies hmu also

gasp

LOTTIE

yes of COURSE i ship benji/ethan, oh my god lottie you NEEEEEED to watch Rogue Nation please you will DIE, the entire movie is the Ethan And Benji Show bc when Ethan is on the run and is being hunted by the CIA of course he calls his beloved Benji to help and Benji refuses to leave him, LOTTIE its so fucking good

THE CHICK NAMED PARIS IS ALSO MY FAVE but also i dunno how many ppl have seen the movie yet, i am hoping for a lot more with her, i love how Ethan did his usual bullshit and imprinted on her and it came back to save his ass

also WHY is ethan so attached to grace within like .5 seconds of meeting her. it's too platonic to be a boring het romance thing. is ethan just Like That. bless his soul

LOTTIE

ETHAN IS JUST LIKE THAT

THAT IS IN FACT THE MAJOR CHARACTER FLAW THAT MCQUARRIE (the writer/director) HAS BEEN BUILDING IN THE PAST FEW MOVIES. Ethan's fatal flaw is canonically, stated textually, that he cannot stop focusing on the One Person even when LITERALLY NUCLEAR APOCALYPSES are on the line. The entirety of Fallout is about this exact thing.

Like, this flaw of his was actively used by the villain of Rogue Nation to manipulate Ethan. the villain literally tells Ethan "yeah i killed this bystander you imprinted on bc i knew you would never get over it, lmao" its amazing how predictable he is

I LOVE HIM HE'S A FUCKIGN MESS. also his origin story from the first movie is he was being groomed to be a team leader but then his mentor went turncoat and killed Ethan's entire team, he's sooooo traumatized, Lottie

pls lottie watch Rogue Nation and Fallout, i promise they are good, i'm not just a weirdo, they're really good

[sapphosdickandballs]

soooooo- before i forget... i diddddd finish something to talk about.

honestly- i kinda did like it?? a lot more than "mistakes were made" which was the other book id read by this same author. i dont think its anything special tbh and the characters werent super compelling or memorable just in the sense that it felt like they didnt have a lifespan outside of the book. i wasnt really expecting much- and at first i was sooo bored. i wanted to drop it bad cause 😩 augh was just thinking "yeah but what is all this for??????" because it felt like the plot was being slow asf. and then BOOM. the accidental kiss. which- was sort of a turning point and made me get semi invested. the asthma attack too- ooo damn. it did kinda irk me that jo kept asking about her having her inhaler 😭. but like- man emma really got on my mf nerves. i absolutely hated her for a good chunk of time. like- THE FACT THAT the both of them were doing everything possible to not talk and communicate and instead emma had that stupid internal turmoil and became infuriating to read. i was soooooo mentally yelling at her. like girl. how are you going to be all dramatic and yet not communicate your feelings like how else is she supposed to know!!!! the harassment part was a whole trip. idk i just got super annoyed at the first part when they were actively avoiding properly solving their issues CAUSE DAMN they had a bunch of them.

THE ALMOST kiss after jo's dad had me actually on the edge of my seat cause holyyyyy crap. idk and then the business trip happened and emma came to terms with her feelings and they kissed-

I LITERALLY knew it was phil. LITERALLY LIKE it was so obvious when he made that comment in the interview. i deadass put two and two together.

i liked the ending part after theyd realized their feelings tbh. it just like wrapped up good. idk abt the smut part- kinda was underwhelming but it wasn't bad. i think it was an alright read. idk if id recommend it personally just because for me personally- i dont want someone to pick that as a recommendation from me over something like ols. for ME personally its not "the best" its not bad and i did have an alright time with it, but i wouldn't read it again tbh. its was definitely better from her other book but even jo feels like a carbon copy of erin from mistakes were made. she was in her 40s and rich so like is this woman just wanting to write about milf women or something??? age gap?? idk. i just noticed that lol.

im glad i stuck it out but i did feel it drug a little bit throughout. emma- i... i literally cant. she is... ugh. i dont think i liked her character 💅. jo was neat but i just- ughhh they feel so... fictional. not realistic in the way they react or narrate, especially in the internal dialog. i liked avery!!! she was awesome. hmmm... idk.... it was nice. sorry if it seems like im talking in circles and seeming like i disliked it- I DIDNT DISLIKE IT. only some parts of it i disliked. just the author's execution for some parts.

just because as someone whos done a lot of research on writing i pick up details on things and have nitpicks about how things are delivered. i notice stuff.

anygayyyy is that enough yapping???? i dunno what else to sayyyy 😐. u should probably make an asks tag for me atp with how much im yapping in ur inbox ffs.

This is hard to answer lmao. I’m glad you kinda enjoyed it? I’m sorry it wasn’t your favorite? It wasn’t my favorite of all my recs (you should read some girls do. at some point, no pressure. But that is one of my favorites) but I did like it enough to rec. I appreciatep you coming and yapping to me even if you didn’t like the book and I hope that doesn’t make you wary of my recs from now on lmao. Also I made you a tag 👍

[sweetnnaivete]

HI CERIIII ok so i saw so much hp themed stuff on my trip and i cannot ignore my urge to get into the marauders fandom any longer..... ur my hp mutual so im sending this ask to see if u would be willing to lmk where i should start cs the fandom looks SO fun and the fanart is gorgeous 😚✨ (read the books and watched the movies so many times but i need new content to obsess over in the potterverse) thank u sm in advance ily!!!

genuinely idek how i got into the marauders fandom lmao i had a super big hp phase as a little kid so then i js got sucked in ?? i think mainly wolfstar made me get into it but yeah lowkey idk 🤷‍♀️ most ppl base their canon off of all the young dudes by mskingbean89 on ao3 but imo it was kind of boring so i never finished reading it :/ i might go back to it idk BUT i really like the wip fic ultraviolence by orbitfalls bc it goes into the black family lore and is so so unique !! idk if that's rly ur cup of tea tho so that's ok :) umm my fave marauders artist is likeafunerall (insta + twt same handle i think) UGH their art is sooo gorgeous !! anw yeah since most of the marauders fandom is js headcanoning i like to go into my moots' askboxes to get their takes on characters and it's so fun i love reading their essay-long analyses loll

ILY BBY HOPE THIS HELPS !!!!!

[romatique]

hi lina! i sent jes a message ab a day ago and it's all ab astrology. if u have time and it doesn't bother u, i hope u could give ur two cents ab it ^^

my bestfriend for 14 years, know nothing about ATEEZ [ i just found out that she won an ATZ album to a "BTS ALBUM GIVEAWAY" so she's not completely unaware of them ] recently gave me her birth time and out of curiosity, I put it up with my bias' (hwa) chart and in my interpretation, if these two meet— idk... IM A FAN

8h mars overlay

1h mars overlay

7h vertex

11h moon overlay

6h moon overlay

virgo-juno conjunction

juno-juno conjunction

asc-sun conjunction

moon-sun conjunction

mars-moon conjunction

mars trine moon

mercury trine venus (both ways)

mars trine venus

*attached below is a pic of their composite chart*

these r the placements that i feel are very strong and important to relationships. but idk, i could just be reaching and maybe im just a delusional bestfriend and fan but im not even kidding when i say she *almost* always match the seonghwa ideal type and fs readings VERY WELL that it almost always creep me out and even question my sanity bc it was just so random (somehow).

so yeah, that's basically it. im actually not so very much deep into astrology YET. i already asked her ab her thoughts on this, and she just said "everything will workout if it's meant to be" then followed it up with "or baka masyado ka lang oa sa interpretation, baka kapag nagkita kame niyan pumikit pa siya heheh POGI-POGI NIYAN" implying that she doesn't think it's impossible for them to cross paths but also doesn't believe that there would be something, that he's too good- looking, and that I AM JUST REACHING LMAO

I HOPE I DIDNT BORE U BC OF THAT LONG ASS MESSAGE LMAO. this is me asking for ur 2 cents btw lol i just want to know if i am interpreting things properly or... im just reaching.

THANK U IN ADVANCE, LINA!

hello sweetheart! you didn’t bore me at all~ i absolutely adore jes and i’m happy she sent you to me.

i know a lot of people have that “delusional” concept in their heads. i’m ngl, i’m lowkey like that too, i try to stand on a realistic ground, especially for readings. but i do believe that, in some way, celebrities could end up with potential fans aswell.

someone (i don’t quite remember who rn, i’ll make sure to check after i post this) posted once that bangchan’s fs is also a fan, for example. that happens more often than we could ever imagine. some celebrities even prefer it that way (let’s say they like the attention, not in a negative way, they just like being cared for)

in astrology, not everything’s perfect, of course. so even if their charts don’t match perfectly, that’s still a good sign. if you never bleed, you never grow and etc. it’s important to have a few negative sides to every relationship, as long as it’s not abusive! cause if not, how will we know what works and what doesn’t?

so, i read your whole message and the chart you sent as well. and i LOVE the earth energy right here. stable, grounded, and there’s also an open-minded side to the relationship with the gemini mars in the 10th house. could mean a foreigner, someone who’s into literature, or has an academic life, opposite to seonghwa’s which makes sense since he’s a cancer moon conjunct rising. he NEEDS that, haha.

i’d say: you’re completely fine on having your own opinions on it! she seems like she has her own life to handle so i believe that this won’t get in her way. as she said, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

don’t worry, you’re definitely not crazy haha. i was like this with my boyfriend before we started dating. but i just wanna let you know to not live like your life depends on it, just let it be~~ who knows? maybe someday their paths could cross, maybe not. let’s wait and see 🫶🏻

thanks for the ask again, love 🥹💞

[starjxsung]

starrrrr 💕💕💕 I missed youuu

school is literally starting up again I'm so over it already 😭 senior year guys let's goo

HEY I TURNED 20??? LIKE IT FEELS WEIRD TO SAY IM TWENTY YEARS OLD NOW. buttt it also just feels the same lmao

but I have bigger things to worry about, like trying to get SKZ tickets when they release the US dates. i just hope I get good seats 😭 honestly I hope I get any seat bc this would be my first time seeing them live IM SO EXCITED... it feels crazy to think that I've been a stay for over two years now... i remember just getting into them as they closed off oddinary era, and my first comeback with them was maxident. it literally feels like a couple months ago, and I feel like time is flying by so fast now, literally every year just goes by quicker and quicker 😭

yk maybe that's a good thing bc my surgery is scheduled (as of now) for October 31st, which I don't remember if I told you the date or not but yeah. I'm glad I could get on the books pretty quick, but it also feels a little too quick, yk?? i just feel like there's so much to think about especially bc I've never had anything remotely like this before... the only time I've had anything down was stitches on my lip when I was like five 😭 (I banged into a clock, don't ask...) but it's kind of overwhelming even for me. but at the same time I still feel a bit iffy about it, I just want to get it done and see if it works.

but yeah anyways I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU AND I WANT TO KISS YOU STAR BB!!!! feel free to write an essay for me to read about your life and literally everything you're doing bc I need to distract myself from starting senior year 😔😔

miley says hello and that she loves you 💕💕

MY LOOOOOVEEEEEEE OH MY GOD. IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. HOW’VE YOU BEEN????

Also HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY???? 20 YEARS OLD!!!!!!! FUCKKKKK THAT’S SUCH A FUN AGE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT SO MUCH RAHHHH did you do anything to celebrate???? Dinner? Cake?????? HAPPY FRICKIN BIRTHDAYYYYY LIVE IT UP SO HARD 20 IS GOING TO BE AMAZING TO YOU 🎉🫶🎊

Also FELTTTTTT on the skz tickets part oh my god 😭 even just seeing the start of the tour and seeing all the clips has me PANICKING…… like if I don’t get to see Bang Chan solo stage with that shirt off…… hell nah. I can’t believe how fast time is going by too???? Like wym we’re already past ate promotions and the Korean shows are finished????? That doesn’t sound real 😭 TIME ISNT REAL YALL

Also I am SO GLAD you were able to get your surgery on the books!!! I know it seems really scary but at least once you’re finished with all the prepping and everything, it’ll just be like one big long nap and then you’ll be finished 🥹 sending you so much love and good vibes and manifesting the surgery goes smoothly and that you’ll feel so much better after it. I’ll be thinking of you all Halloween!!! I’m so proud of you I promise everything is going to be okay and you’re so strong and capable of getting through it! ❤️

I love you so so so much I hope the start to senior year has been nothing short of amazing!!!! My life has been the boring same usual shit but I’m insanely busy with work (I really should be sleeping rn bc I have a 7am meeting tomorrow lollll) but !!!! I’m excited for fall and everything’s fine! I just need to take the world’s longest nap tbh

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY ANGEL a million hugs and kisses for you as always ALSO THANK U FOR MY DAILY DOSE OF MILEY I LOVE HER SO MUCH…. I offer you a momo in exchange (she loves you too !!!!)

[nerice]

Fall Season 2023 Watch List >:3 !

detailed thoughts >>

protocol rain. happy first esports anime. unsure if this will last the season but for now there's a core of smth in there that keeps me watching. also the op/ed are gorgeous rly where they put their priorities lol bc the main show does look like ass

100 girlfriends/hyakkano. the harem parody i didn't know i needed. the setup is so genuinely stupid but it fires thru jokes at such a rapid pace you barely have time to remember the ones that don't land as well. THE ANIMATION IS SO BEAUTIFUL. also inch rested to see if they can get to 100 girlfriends polycule without becoming boring (komi san i am looking at u......)

apothecary diaries. everything i hoped it would be <33 some say the mysteries are too easy but since im not big on detective stuff im actually happy with the pacing (compared to raven of the inner palace which could drag a lil imo) it just looks soooo good maomao is so fun her cat emotes... <3 ((also ngl. there's elifauve angle to the main duo which i am. delighted abt ww))

ragna crimson. do the character designs look like a b-tier anime from the early 2000s? yeah. does it slap all the fucking way? YEAH. ragna and leo are extremely whatever but crimson (damiacore!!) and angel dragon are SO DOPE. aots no doubt <3 (<- biased i cannot be trusted) it just scratches an itch that hasn't been scratched since the isekai game inspy fantasy scourge took over. bar is on the ground etc

shangri-la frontier. heel turn but. scratches the video game fantasy world itch and it's just stupid enough to be annoying. no isekai bullshit. fight animation that's exactly what made sao fun but without the harem bs that made sao.... sao. (i know there's more girls coming i just hope we stick to fun beat em up with it.)

sousou no frieren. ANIME OF THE DECADE. absolutely no question about it this is the best thing i've ever seen every second of animation is jaw-droppingly beautiful all the characters and the fkcin story the cycles the grief the humanity behind it all. i cry every single ep ;-; i am too enamored by it to even be annoyed abt the german names of everything and everyone. it's awkward but as someone who also gave all their first ocs telling japanese names I'LL LET IT SLIDE <3

spy x family s2. excited to get to boat arc. exactly what you know ur gonna get from it and i love getting more sxf. it's fun!!!!

undead unluck. it has the kill la kill energy (idiocy) we have no choice but to stan. took me actually till ep 2 to clock it was made by shaft guys and now i cannot unsee it anymore. all the chars and gimmicks are stupid and fun and it perfectly fills the niche left empty by zom100 being in production hell. ive watched anime for long enough that i can ignore the sexual comedy bits but it is becoming stale (in which it falls short of what klk was able to pull off. god i miss klk) lol

dropped tier

-shy (technically havent dropped this yet but unless ep3 gets interesting real fast... it's not doing anything well enough to care)

-kamonohashi ron/forbidden deductions (i hate detective shows sorry. was gonna stick it out for his cute disheveled design but i simply do not care enough for the gimmick or the genre)

-kamierabi (what happens when you let yoko taro of nier fame and jin of kagepro fame make a series together? nothing worth watching unfortunately. made me wanna rewatch mirai nikki tho lmao)

summer season leftovers

-jjks2 (U KNOW WHAT IS ABOUT TO BE DONE TO ME)

-zom100 (pour one out for production issues)

[thisdreamplace]

Hi Dream 💞💞 how are you?

I want to get something off my chest. There's this SP that I've been having the typical experience with, you know, hot and cold behavior. Since last year my approach to the law has been a bit similar to yours, allowing things into being, letting go, living and loving life hehe. But my romantic relationships and my self concept in romantic relationships is still somehow... chaotic? A mess? I isolated myself from any potential romantic interest for over a year thinking that being alone was going to be the solution. I then met this guy, let's call him B. B and I met online, I was not really interested in him but eventually I started having fun with him and our chats were cool. I was enjoying who I was with him and I was very chill tbh. Then B started being too busy to chat with me (this has been a pattern, that I have experienced even in friendships) and I started freaking out and chasing him. B slowly started fading away and then it became a cycle of him texting me whenever he was not busy, and basically giving me breadcrumbs, and I was down so bad that I got addicted to this.

Now I'm bored of this dynamic, and also bored of B and don't have any energy left. I decided I seriously need to focus on my self love because I clearly haven't been giving myself enough. I want to move on from him, but I don't want to hold the image of me being his victim, idk if you know what I mean? I was conscious all the time, and I knew what was happening, and I allowed it. I am a victim of myself. I don't want to hold him responsible? Or to hold judgements of him? Yk to keep him in my memory as the asshole B hahah. But also, he kinda was an asshole. But somehow seeing him like an asshole consequently makes me feel like his victim and it keeps me attached to this narrative of "oh he damaged me". I don't know if you understand me HAHAHA. But I also feel resistance towards seeing him like an angel boy lmao. Do I believe he has potential to be an angel boy? Sure, everyone can change, but at the same time, I do feel victimized if I'm fully honest with myself. I do feel like a part of me knows I am fully responsible for myself, and there's no point in blaming anyone but it also feels very easy to blame it all on him and hate him, but then again, I don't want to hate or judge.

Thank you for this blog, it has been a source of support and guidance for me...

hello lovely !! <3 i am doing very well, whenever spring is in the air, i feel so in love ! :)))) how are you ?

that bit about isolating yourself bc u thought it was the solution. so relatable, lmao. thank you for sharing all of this !

i totally understand everything you are saying, as for the past couple years since knowing the law i also felt that way. i refused to hold anyone accountable for anything, because i felt like it was my responsibility to take as, just like you said, i was fully conscious and am a victim of myself. but tbh, this only made things harder and didnt stop people from doing what they wanted. when i started to accept the pain i felt, the way i saw them (they did this to me, and yeah it hurt and im upset, etc etc), i actually started being able to move on and stop harbouring resentments. (bc telling myself i should take responsbility for them only created resentment, bc it wasnt true to how i rly felt inside of my heart) this isn't so much about blame but staying true to yourself. let yourself have that moment to fully digest and feel the way your experience with him has been. bc then you will feel much more free to move into love and nonjudgment and ultimately freedom... rather than trying to force yourself into it now, because you know its what you "should" do. i hope this is helpful <3

i'm so thankful that my blog has been helpful for you, thank you for sharing that :') xo

[knightzp]

hi miki! how r u?

question, which (in ur opinion) genshin design is the ugliest? bc lets be real, not all of them are easy on the eye! also im just curious.. for me i have to say its benny boy lmao. love u bennett but uh. srry hyv did u dirty (2nd is razor. fjaknasjn i h8 how his long hair comes out of his hoodie srsly what. is. That) others i dont Particularly Like are; (might be a hot take here but) nilou, dori (ehh) + nahida (sorry boo)

And on the flip side.. which designs are the prettiest/ur favourites? (i like scaramouche's, hu tao's + rosaria's reskin)

i hope u have a wonderful day/evening! :)

tūī!!! hii im fine! how are you??

ooh i love those questions! okay get ready for my probably very hot takes (under the cut bc this turned out to be quite long lol)

so, in my opinion, the award for the ugliest design goes to: childe. his clothes are all gray and with a boring style, he has a very silly scarf and he thinks hes very cool for it but actually, he isnt. also. that little gap he has at the bottom of his jacket showing his stomach??? its so dumb and also means he doesnt wear a shirt under the jacket, like really?? so yeah, ugliest design for me

as for some others, i agree with you in doris design! especially her glasses are so ugly and that ruins all the design for me. similar to dori, i dont really like dionas design either. also, and this might be a hot take too, i dont like much candace design. okay shes not ugly, i actually really like all the accessories she has, that shes one of the few poc characters ingame and the only one that has heterochromia too! but. somehow i hate how they did her hair and just that is ruining her design for me, and its quite frustrating. and finally, this one i dont really hate it? but ayato deserved to have a different design from the one they ended up giving him. his clothes look a lot like a western costume and so different from the traditional japanese clothes i expected him to have so it was kind of a disappointment for me when they finally revealed his design

now, reading that the ugliest designs for you are benny and razor... :( i mean yeah its true they dont have the best designs, but personally i think they match a lot with their personality and i really like their characters too, so i cant seem to hate their designs either ajfdlk though i agree with you that the gap in razors hoodie to let their hair out is... weird, yeah. as for nilou and nahida i think their designs are very cute! but theres one thing i dont like abt them and is how white they look. living in sumeru they obviously deserved some melanin, and especially nahida being the dendro archon, but we know how hyv is, sighhhhhh

now on the brighter side, the prettiest designs! i cant choose just one so ill say my most favorites: kazuha (my fave character so i love his design a lot too), kokomi (very pretty pastel colors!), yoimiya (i love her tattoos, her hair accessories, how she wears her clothes, everything). hu tao is also one of my fave designs for sure, so we agree on that one too! xiaos design is also sooo good and i really like fischls skin too!!

as for the others you said, theyre not my most favorites but theyre very good ones too! rosarias reskin is much better than her original design and suits her a lot, and scaramouche idk if youre referring to his original design or his playable one but theyre both so nice too

and thats all i think! tysm for asking, this was fun to write, and i hope you have a wonderful day/evening too!! <3

[tryhardgwen]

rs archive 12/17/2023:

re: all my love fic. for each of the boys, can you answer: what were their grades like? what were their favorite/least favorite subjects? which of them got in trouble a lot? also, could you please assign a plant/tree/flower to each of them? (sorry if this is so much)

OMG its not too much i LOVE associating and assigning characters to things (read: chapter one me assigning characters record players/cd players)

minhyung: straight As, typical overachieving asian cousin u get compared to. fav subject computer science. he hates history its boring af. also he hates biological and natural sciences like bio and chem but he LOVES physics. he barely got into trouble. tree: vine maple.

minseok: oh god he was a Bs-Cs student but also bc he didnt care all that much ASHHAFDJ. he got into trouble a lot for yelling or finishing fights with other kids picking on his friends. also got in trouble out of school with his MOM lmao. fav subject was english and art, though, and he hated anything stem with a burning fashion. flower: pink carnations. the fucking.. wedding.. didnt have any.. im mad at myself. but honestly red camellias too.!!

hyunjoon: solid Bs student. i imagine child hyunjoon as very.. average? not in a bad way, but i hope u can see what i mean in his child introduction at the start of chapter two. hes small. wooje doesnt notice him at first. hes subtle, like the moon. fav subject is history. least fav is math bc its tedious (not bc he cant do it). he got in trouble for not turning his things in on time, but other than that was a pretty good kid. plant: pacific bleeding heart. the white-pinkish ones. also, common yarrow.

wooje: ok his grades are all over the place. he places a c in math but gets an a in english (in middle school) but i imagine after that, in high school, he gets tutored and goes for straight As (ucla has an acceptance rate of 8.6% after all, and he got in with a full ride scholarship!!) fav subjects: english, linguistics electives and such. worst fav: math. he rarely got in trouble at school; he was a very quiet kid. mainly cus his home life. HAHA that being said he got in "trouble"/yelled at a lot at home... but he never did anything to deserve that. (oh god i made it angsty.) basically, his grandparents neglected him. when they didnt, he was getting blamed/yelled at. he was only big around the almost-family. for plants, i mostly associate him with the trees. any pacific northwest, washington native ones. and goatsbeard (!!) and ofc, spider plants :>

sanghyeok: when he was in school, straight As, AP classes, he really had a passion for learning but never could do anything with it. fav subject is math, least fav is probably ... none. he did NOT get into trouble, he was a good boy. flower: red rose.

seongwoong: yeah he dropped out. hes a hell of a good mechanic tho! plant: lady fern or oak fern. one of the ones with big fronds. also, blue columbine.

jojo: straight a student baby he graduated summa cum laude with honors bitch and got into ucla ..! fav is cs n anything stem. hates english he doesnt know what a noun is. he got into trouble all the time for skipping but his test scores and hw and work CLEARED so ain nobody could do anything to him (also hes rich). no plants. he kills them for fun. (but not woojes)