#but who gives a fuck about mtv cribs oh my god

[gender-euphowrya]

i can't sleep why did tommy tallarico lie about being on mtv cribs how was that meant to be a bragging point. of all the things to lie about

[cowboymirio]

They Want To Get A Pet - Headcanons

Summary: Your S/O wants a pet and adorable antics ensue~ 

Characters: Hizashi Yamada, Taishiro Toyomitsu, Aizawa Shouta, Eijiro Kirishima, Tenya Iida, Hanta Sero, Takami Keigo

Contains: Gender neutral reader, lotsa fluff, Reader has arachnophobia in Sero’s part! Crackheadery in Aizawa’s part

Hizashi Yamada - Cockatoo

📣 You guys totally didn’t plan on getting a cockatoo, or any pet for that matter. Y’all just moved into your new place for christ’s sake! 

📣 But after a visit to a lil exotic pet store downtown, your plans changed. And now you’re stuck with a bird with the intelligence of a toddler

📣 According to Yama, the bird just ‘called to him’ and by that, he means the bird literally screamed at him

📣 They’ve got the most bougie cage ever like MTV cribs hit them up. 

📣But he doesn’t spend too much time in there as you guys let him roam around the house all day until it’s time for bed or if you leave for a while

📣 If they’re not attached to Yama’s shoulder, you often find them waddling around the house, picking things up off of the floor and throwing them, and squawking at you when they want attention

📣 Sounds like someone else you know huh…

📣 Yama and the bird dance together so much omg. They do the lil head bobs together, he’ll blast some music for them and they go to town he even chirps along to the lyrics omg-

📣 He doesn’t even have to teach them words, they just pick them up on their own… and then never stop saying them… ever 

📣 ‘YEAHHHHH’ then from the other side of your home you hear another ‘YEAAHHHHH’

📣 Make it stop

📣 You taught them cuss words for the shits and giggles though

📣 Yama finds it funny too though because he’s got that 8-year-old sense of humor… you all do to be honest 

📣 But when the bird chooses to sit on your shoulder you bet your ass Yamada’s gonna fawn over the two of you for the next hour :’) 

Taishiro Toyomitsu - Pyrenean Mastiff

🍢 Really wants a pet 

🍢 But also really scared of crushing them so…

🍢 You guys settle for a big ‘ol Pyrenean mastiff!

🍢 And when I say they’re big they are big like… I mean knock you over if you’re not careful big

🍢 They’re literally perfect for each other

🍢 They’re both massive units, insanely adorable, and they for sure share the same appetite

🍢 Speaking of food, he makes sure he’s feeding them the best of the best foods even if that means y’all are making it yourselves

🍢 Not as afraid to roughhouse with them as he thought he’d be

🍢 Lots of fetching, frisbee throwing, ‘wrestling’ even?? They’re so rowdy and for what? My heart, that’s what <3 

🍢 The dog definitely sleeps on top of him I don’t make the rules

🍢 Mf just hops on up, curls up and they’re ready to go like--- Is that- is that not y’know,,, HEAVY?? 

🍢 I mean,,, you sleep on top of him too so I honestly don’t think Tai cares too much

Aizawa Shota - Cat

💤 You guys already know…

💤 If he were to get any kind of pet it’d be a cat.

💤 They’re chill, independent, and sometimes want attention. Just how he likes it.

💤 Well… that’s how he thought that things should be but-

💤 BOY was he wrong

💤 After living together for quite a while, stalking animal shelter websites for the perfect cat, and finding the right one, you bring them home!

💤 When you met them at the shelter, they were a sweet lil baby with an aloof attitude that you both fell in love with

💤 But when you brought them home… They became an absolute crackhead.

💤 Forget having ANYTHING on the tables or countertops. It’s on the floor now thanks to them. Fuck your water glass, fuck those papers you were helping Aizawa grade, they’re gone! Shredded! Positively destroyed :)

💤 Forget having free hands, they’re literally attached to his side and won’t stop rubbing against his hands while he’s grading papers and such

💤 If you’re not watching his little dude/ette will try and eat food WHILE YOU’RE COOKING oh my fuckingf god

💤 Heaven forbid this dude tries to leave the room. They’ll ‘cry’ until he comes back.

💤 ‘Go to your other parent, they’ll give you attention.’ ‘mEEEOWWW’ ‘Oh my god fine come here.’

💤 Honestly though he really appreciates when they’re down to sleep. Their purrs and their cuddles are very appreciated

💤 And literally just imagine seeing them curled up on his chest while they sleep on the couch ;; im so somft

Eijiro Kirishima - Bearded Dragon

🏮 This man wants to get THE manliest pet of all,,, a bearded dragon

🏮 He probably saw one on a movie or something and immediately came to you like

🏮 ‘Okay but we neeeeed one just look at their lil beards!! And their tongues!!!’

🏮 You tell him to put it off for a bit, do some research, and see if he still wants one later

🏮 Homeboy is DEDICATED so he puts in the time and ofc he still wants one after the fact

🏮 After a good amount of time, he comes back with a books worth of reasons as to why you guys should get one and you’re honestly shocked

🏮 You just can’t say no to those eyes </33 so you oblige and go out and get one from an owner who’s surrendering it (Because we don’t support chain pet stores in this household)

🏮 You guys can’t pick a name for them so for the longest time they’re just called ‘the lizard’ or ‘little fella’ or whatever else you guys come up with

🏮 Anyways- he’s infatuated with them it’s so funny. He spends all of his freetime watching them get used to their new habitat like,,,, all of it. It’s 1am and he’s just watching it hang out and you’re like ‘Kiri if you love it so much then why don’t you sleep with it’ (not in that way ya nasty)

🏮 HE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY

🏮 Next thing you know he hops out of bed, brings them back and puts them between your pillows.

🏮 Lil homie’s just vibin there.

🏮 You’re done tbh but if Kiri’s happy then you’re happy <33

🏮 Absolutely lets it sit on his shoulders when he’s walking around the house

🏮 He has a leash for them and he takes them out during the warmer months

🏮 Dedicates a good portion of his day to clean out their habitat when need be

🏮 Their relationship is just so cute you can’t help but melt every time you see them together

Tenya Iida - Tropical Fish

🌟 After a particularly rough finals season, you figure that Iida needs to have some sort of hobby that can help him chill out, but also has some sort of brainwork in there because that’s your boyfriend for ya

🌟 You suggest getting some fish!

🌟 He rly said ‘I’ll think about it’ then proceeded to do a shit ton of research on it because he literally does that every time you express interest in something. King behavior!!

🌟 You guys settle on getting a few tropical fish and a super nice fish tank for ‘em

🌟 He lets you name all of them and of course you have to name one ‘Iida junior’ like how could you not-

🌟 But seriously though he finds it so endearing and sweet ;;

🌟 You can’t tell me he doesn’t buy all of the nicest shit he can for their tank too.

🌟 Fresh aquatic plants, huge rocks for them to swim through, a nice ass heater, the WORKS

🌟 He’s gotta treat yall’s babies right like what did you expect

🌟 Constantly checking their water to see if it’s alright for them

🌟 He’s usually the one to feed them so whenever he comes up to the tank, they all crowd up by the top like doggies when their owner comes home omg

🌟 He finds the noises from the tank to be really good background noise when he’s reading or studying

🌟 Iida’s honestly glad that you suggested to get fish ‘cause taking care of them is such a relaxing hobby and lord knows he needs some of those

Hanta Sero - Rose Haired Tarantula

🧵 So he wants a Rose Hair Tarantula...

🧵 ‘Absolutely not’ - You, 2021 (sorry if you actually like spiders lol, if a singular person wants hcs where y’all both like spiders please @ me)

🧵 Lots and lots of begging and promises

🧵 ‘You won’t even have to clean the cage, I’ll do it!!’ ‘We can keep them in the spare room’ ‘c’mooon pretty please???’

🧵 He had to bust out the puppy eyes for you to say yes

🧵 And with that, you’re now the proud parents of a demon rose hair tarantula!

🧵 ‘We can keep them in the spare room’ your ass. He lets it climb all over him while he’s walking around the house!!

🧵 Not you actively avoiding him when you see them coming down towards you

🧵 ‘But I wanna kiss!!’ ‘Kiss your tarantula smh’

🧵 After he realizes he’s not gonna get any with his lil buddy (yes, that’s what he calls them) he tries his best to help you familiarize with em

🧵 I’m sorry but he’s trying so hard not to laugh as you freak out when they crawl up your arm

🧵 He takes things more seriously after that though. He’ll give you lil words of encouragement, back pats and such

🧵 He’s so happy that you become… tolerable after a while of you guys just hangin’ out that you can’t help but feel proud too.

🧵 You still can’t stand spiders though.  

Keigo Tamaki - Bunnies

🐤 Just like Aizawa, he wants something that’s quiet and can be independent since his schedule is a bit busy but he still wants to have a lil buddy to love on

🐤 You’re actually the one to bring up the idea to get a bunny, it’s part of a long list of ideas you had come up with, but for whatever reason, the bunny idea just stuck with him

🐤 You two hop (im a comedic genius hi <33) on over to the nearest rescue you can find, and browse through the enclosures looking for the perfect bunny for you guys 

🐤 Ok so like- here’s the thing,,,

🐤 You totally didn’t plan on getting two bunnies… But you guys found a pair that were literally inseparable and y’all had to have them

🐤 He’s already calling them ‘Our children’ straight off the bat like- y’all JUST got home and he’s already giving you baby fever UGH

🐤 He bunny-proofs the FUCK out of the house so they can roam freely ‘cause he didn’t just get these babies to stick them in a cage smh

🐤 Will lay on the floor and just watch them romp around cus he finds it relaxing and funny 

🐤 Also please get on the floor and watch them with him. Prime cuddling hours

🐤 They burrow under his wings… I repeat- THEY BURROW UNDER HIS WINGS

🐤 They WILL flop together don’t @ me 

🐤 They (and by they I mean all three of them)  flop on you when they want attention can I jst--- *cries*

🐤 Have fun trying to get up, this is your life now. 

🐤 But are you really complaining? You shouldn’t be smh 

[minjoonie-song]

0:00 “Hello! Welcome to Minjoon’s Kitchen.” “Who’s fucking kitchen?” Brandon’s voice off camera startled a laugh out of Minjoon, loud and squeaky; and that was it for the theme of the live. “Welcome to uh... Welcome to Minjoon in a kitchen.” “Welcome to not Minjoon’s Kitchen.” Brandon added, finally coming into view. “Welcome not Minjoon to Minjoon’s Kitchen, not in Minjoon’s kitchen.” “Featuring Minjoon.” “Welcome to Brandon’s kitchen!” “Welcome to Brandon is trying to get his car home because she’s parked in fucking central LA after we went for brunch and had so many mimosas that I legally wasn’t allowed to drive us home.” “Hi MTV. Welcome to Brandon’s crib.” “Look mom! I‘m on MTV and I didn’t have to be 16 and pregnant to do it!” The pair started cackling again, uncontrollably hysterical in their inebriated states. 8:14

“You should make that a thing.” ”What?” ”Not Minjoon’s Kitchen. Once a month you just show up at a random fans house, streaming and giving them no time to prepare for you to cook whatever they have in their house.” ”Absolutely not. You know I like to be organised when cooking.” ”You’re literally squinting at lettuce in the fridge, I think you’re past that.” ”That’s lettuce?” “Oh my god, Minjoon. You can’t cook like this.” “I can’t see properly. I don’t know where my glasses are.” “This is going to be the most disappointing episode of your show ever and it’s live. We can’t cook, it’s gonna be dangerous and messy.” “In the words of the awesome Jake Peralta. Title of your sex tape.” “Oh my god. No, mine would be called uhh.. Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.” “Nope. I already claimed that for mine.” “Joonie! I hate the accuracy.” The laughing continued, even as the pair complained that they couldn’t breathe.

18:58

After they’d finally calmed down they took the camera with them to the couch, after the executive decision that the pair were definitely in no state to try to actually cook anything and a too large order of pizza. “We have like half an hour to kill. What are we going to do now?” “Remember when I asked for a Q&A way back in the past when I thought I’d be sober at four in the afternoon? We’ll do that and then I guess I’m writing a formal apology on my notes app to anyone who was hungry and eager to learn. Just like a real celebrity.” Minjoon fished around in his pockets for his phone, handing it to Brandon once it was unlocked so he could read it aloud. “I just figured out the greeting. Welcome to the last ever episode of Minjoon’s Kitchen.” “My biggest mistake this time was too much Minjoon and not enough kitchen. Some people come just to see my organised spice rack.” “You’ve both upgraded and downgraded to Brandon’s Couch.” “Love it. I’ve re-branded. Put it on a T-shirt. Every episode I’m just going to show you how to order different pizzas. We’re a podcast now.” “You’re a dumbass. Alright! Let’s see what we got. Minjoon.. What is your favorite thing to cook?”  “Everyone I see with how hot I am.” The laughter started up once more, even despite their previous attempts to calm down. “I fucking told you! I knew you’d get that one.” “You owe me $50 for saying it!” “I’ll buy all the pizza you just ordered, how about that?” “Catch me outside?” “Stop! How have you made it this far in life as a meme?” “I wasn’t always like this, it’s part of my rebrand. Brandon’s Couch: Meme edition.” “I can’t believe we failed cooking and now we’re already failing the Q&A.” “No! No, I got this. My favourite thing at the moment.. I love making risotto. Mostly because I get to eat it afterwards and I love eating risotto but yeah! That’s my favourite right now.” “I don’t think that’s really answering.” “It’s my answer. This is still not Minjoon’s Kitchen featuring Minjoon for this last episode. Shh. Next question!” “This one asks if there is anything in particular that gets me inspired for designs? Yes! I love art so as soon as my bank account hits below a mil, I’m like.. Shit! Gotta doodle. No, I find inspiration everywhere. Sometimes it’s just a particular mood I’m in, sometimes I’ll see a net curtain blowing a particular way in a breeze and design an entire dress from how it falls. Sometimes I’ll see a colour that I’ll want to make an entire wardrobe out of. I’ve been painting a lot recently, not designs just.. things I like and I’ve been able to work from those. Gross, I know but yeah. Inspiration is everywhere. Disgusting. Unacceptable. I refuse to be inspired again that was too mushy.”

23:37

The boys were a giggly mess. Almost everything bringing them to hysterics even if it was just something said with the smallest hint of sarcasm, they were grabbing onto the couch and each other’s arms for support as they hiccuped their way through another bout of laughter. “Anyway! Next question is top 5 celebrity chefs. Mine of course is Joonbug and that’s it. Wait, no that dude from that thing we saw in England. Gordon’s friend.” “Oh! With the road trip?” “Yeah, the really funny one.” “I loved that. Mine is obviously Chef Ramsay, Remy.. Gotta give my boy a shout out. Chef Baek Jong-won. Oh! The um.. I discovered that dude during fashion week in London that time. The sciencey one. Hus.. Hes..? I don’t remember his actual name but he made some amazing things. I was in awe. I’m also throwing in whoever invented bulgogi. That’s my top five. I actually met Chef Ramsay recently!” “You did! You called me after. How was it meeting your hero?” “Oh, I cried. Like a big baby. Ugly sobbing and lots of I love yous in the middle of a cupcake shop.” “Classic Minjoon behaviour.” “He signed my T-shirt and I cried some more. I would have proposed through my tears but I was crying too much. Like the shaky inhale, full on breakdown kind of crying? I can’t even be embarrassed because he still talked to me.” “You’re a baby!” “I am a baby! 달콤한 아기. That’s what my eomma and momma call me and then they pinch my cheekies.” “Cute! Ooh! How does it feel.. no, fuck. That’s not.. shut your face. I can read. How does performing feel on stage versus cooking on camera? How did it feel being on stage?” “I refuse to acknowledge what that means. Stage? What stage?” “They’re talking about your big, gay musical re-enactment of your love for me.” “I wish I could use memes like in real life? Just the I do not see meme but my face. Honestly though? It’s different because I can cook. This mess obviously doesn’t count but I can edit everything I post and I know what I’m doing? I’m confident when I’m cooking. I know what I can and can’t do. Being on stage was just.. I was terrified. It was terrifying. I had fun though and I did work hard. Like.. I decided last minute and I had to learn choreo and remember lyrics to things I wrote years ago. I was scared I’d trip up and face plant the whole time. Like the entire time. I wanted to be included though and I couldn’t go to the festival because it was terrifying being around so many people. I just kind of listened from the side lines but it sounded good and you said you had lots of fun being up there.” “I did. You know me though. I’m that one line from that Mike Posner song about needing everyone’s eyes just to feel seen.” “Woah. Hashtag deep.” “Oh my god. You’re ridiculous.” “I did need the entire weekend to recover though. It’s.. it’s a lot to open yourself up like that.” “You mean serenading the town with love songs about me?” “You suck so bad.” “Is that how you talk to the former love of your life?” Minjoon snorted, slapping at Brandon’s arm. “You were so in love with me. It’s my greatest achievement, you know? I put it on my resume under my skills. Has given Minjoon boners.” The reaction was instant, Brandon’s loud laugh failing to cover Joonie’s shriek that soon turned into a laugh but even his amusement couldn’t mask how red he’d gotten. “No! I hate it here! You suck so bad! So bad! I can never show my face in public or make eye contact with another human being ever again!” “It’s a good job I put the age restriction thingy on this stream. I knew I’d be a fucking menace after the second drink.” “You’re not a menace! You’re a gremlin! God, end the stream before you really do end my YouTube career. Goodbye everyone! I’m gonna go eat my body weight in pizza and become a cave hermit.” “Bye little Joonie fans! Sorry about the.. Fuck it, I’m not sorry about anything. Peace out, bitches!”

[writethehousedown]

Trust Fund, Gold Tongue (Crygi) 1/7 - Peridot

A/N: I am so excited to be taking part in the Summer Lovin’ fic challenge! This is going to be my first multichap ever, so bare with me!! I’ve enjoyed working on this for ages now, and I’m so excited to share it with you all. You can find me at my sideblog @artificialperidot, come say hi!!

Summary: Crystal hates her summer job in a country club, until she falls oh so hard for the sweet-talking millionaire daughter of the owner. Gigi would rather not spend her summer with her dysfunctional family, but a certain red headed waitress proves to be a welcome distraction.

They would both rather be anywhere else, but perhaps their summer won’t be as bad as it seems.

Hope you enjoy!!

Crystal could think of a hundred things she’d rather be doing this summer than working in a country club full of wealthy pricks. But the wage was decent, and God knows her rent wasn’t going to pay itself.

Walking into the resort for the first time had been like walking into another dimension, a complete other world from the life she knew, where there was no such thing as “too expensive”. It was like getting a glimpse into the other side of the world, of affluence that she could have never comprehended unless she had seen it with her own eyes. The complex was huge, spanning acres upon acres of land, and lavishly decorated - the front lobby had a fountain, for Christ’s sake.

Crystal thought it looked like something from MTV Cribs. On crack.

Not only was the place huge, but it had more facilities than Crystal could’ve even imagined - a golf course, a bowling alley, tennis courts, a spa, and countless swimming pools and hot tubs, some of which Crystal had yet to find on her first week on the job. Not to mention the private restaurants and numerous bars, which, as a waitress, she most often found herself working in.

So far, Crystal had learned two things in her first week working at the country club. Number one, for having such expensive taste, rich old white men liked drinking really cheap beer. And number two, despite the beer being cheap, they would do anything they could to avoid paying for it.

Crystal leaned against her beer cart and did her very best to ignore the sound of a 50-something year old country club member (who was much too loud and much too drunk for 11am on a Tuesday) babbling something about Crystal bringing him the wrong drink - that he ordered a Budweiser and not a Heineken - in an attempt to get another free pint. Crystal didn’t say a word, only nodding now and again to seem like she was listening. She was absolutely certain the guy was lying through his teeth. She specifically remembered writing down the man’s order, and double checking to make sure she had got it right. But she’d quickly learned to keep her mouth shut, because the people she was dealing with had enough money and enough influence to get her fired in an instant, and that simply was not an option for her.

She learnt that the customer is always right, even if the customer’s nose has grown five inches and their pants have set on fire.

Heaving a sigh, she mumbled out a “sorry about that, sir, I’ll get you another one on the house” through gritted teeth, before lifting all the empty glasses from the poolside table and balancing the man’s pint (which was about two thirds empty, despite it supposedly being ‘the wrong drink’) , precariously on her cart. If she had an ounce more courage, she would’ve challenged him, told him that he and his mates that had tried the same trick on her before weren’t fooling anyone, but she decided she’d leave her complaining for Jan’s ears when they were on lunch break.

She found their reluctance to pay surprising, really, since they had more money than she could even imagine. They had more money than she’d probably earn in her whole life. But, she supposed that’s how they all stayed so rich - by being cheap bastards.

She started wheeling the trolley back towards the bar indoors, hoping the guy didn’t pay much attention to the scowl that had crept its way onto her face. She decided to take the long way back, going around the pool rather than passing by his table again, which gave her a little time to cool off before she had to go inside and tell Jan or whoever was bartending to pour his beer down the sink.

She was tempted to hide round a corner and down the beer when no one was looking, because fuck, she needed a drink right about now.

Crystal found it funny that little things like that bothered her so much. She was fully aware that there were far worse things a person could do - she herself had done things that were way worse than telling a little white lie to get a free drink. But seeing it happen every day for the past week had really rubbed her the wrong way. Sure, in her last job as a waitress in a café she had encountered similar situations, but this felt different. It was different because she knew these people had the money, that they would have no trouble paying a few dollars out of their millions, and that they were stealing for the hell of it. Thinking about it made her want to scream.

Crystal wasn’t poor, per say. She wasn’t rich by any means, but her family had enough money to get by most of the time. It was only now that she was moving out for college at the end of the summer that she was in real need of some cash for her rent and her student loans. But knowing that people slave away for hours in dead end jobs just to make ends meet, and these millionaires wouldn’t pay for a fucking beer? It made her blood boil.

Although she felt like steam was coming out of her ears, she took a few deep breaths to calm herself and keep her cool. She was still working, after all. She found herself staring into the pool water as she rolled the cart along, watching as the sun’s reflection danced on its surface, glimmering. She was thankful for the hot weather, at least. The sunshine lightened everyone’s mood a little, and usually made her job a bit easier.

She considered it a small victory.

“Excuse me, miss?” a woman’s voice called out.

Snapping out of her daydream, Crystal swivelled round in search of the source of the voice. The poolside was fairly empty given the time of day (because let’s face it, if Crystal wasn’t working, she wouldn’t have been awake at 11am, either), so it didn’t take her long to see a girl, lying on one of the sun loungers, seemingly on her own and sticking out like a sore thumb from the older men in golfing gear.

She was young, Crystal thought, probably about the same age as herself or a little younger, and she donned a floppy sun hat and a pair of oversized cat-eye sunglasses, which left Crystal slightly unsure in what direction she was looking, or if she even had her eyes open at all. Her long, dark hair sat in waves down to her chest, and she just so happened to be wearing a very flattering and clearly very expensive bathing suit - a black halter neck bikini, with gold buckles - which left little to the imagination.

She looked like the dictionary definition of a rich girl, and Crystal would’ve rolled her eyes at how cliché she looked if she wasn’t so god damn hot.

“Um, hello?” the girl asked.

Crystal’s heart jolted. “Huh? Oh! Uh, how can I help you?” She jumped to attention, and was now suddenly very aware of her cheeks flushing red. How long had she been staring?

“Could I get another pink lemonade, please?” the girl said as if it was obvious, holding out her empty glass for Crystal to take.

“Oh, sure,” Crystal replied, making her way over to her sunlounger and feeling the heat rush to her face. When she grabbed the glass, Crystal could’ve swore she felt their hands touch for just a millisecond, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little flustered.

“Thanks,” the girl said, offering Crystal a small smile from behind her huge sunglasses.

A smile of pity, probably, Crystal thought.

She quickly placed the glass onto her cart and began rolling it away as fast as she deemed socially acceptable, speed-walking her way towards the bar. She bit the inside of her cheek and inwardly cursed herself for being so awkward. What was that? Who was that? And why the hell was she having heart palpitations?

She was practically out of breath by the time she reached the bar, which was located just inside a set of double doors, right by the pool. She set the glasses on the bar top, leaning on it in an attempt to steady herself and taking a few seconds to catch her breath. When she looked up, she was met by a smirking Jan, who had a single eyebrow raised.

“Care to tell me why you’re as red as a tomato?”

“Fuck you,” Crystal sighed, a smile breaking onto her face. “It’s warm outside, that’s all.”

Jan raised a single eyebrow. “Whatever you say,” she chirped, clearly not believing her. As much as Crystal wanted to elbow her in the ribs at that, she couldn’t help but smile. One of the few good things to come out of this job was her friendship with Jan and the other staff, which was new, but already felt strong. Jan was the human equivalent of a golden retriever- it was hard not to love her.

“Hey, I need a pink lemonade and a Budweiser beer for customers outside.”

“Another beer? This one’s not finished,” Jan said, gesturing to the pint glass Crystal had placed on the bar top before her.

Crystal rolled her eyes. “Apparently it’s the wrong brand.”

“Ugh. Another one of those guys. I hope he didn’t give you a hard time, sweetie,” she said, shaking her head with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll get the drinks for you now.”

“Thanks, Jan.”

As Jan busied herself with pulling another pint, Crystal could help but peer out through the door at the girl, still laid out on her sun lounger by the pool. She couldn’t deny she was gorgeous, but she wasn’t sure why her heart decided to try to escape her chest at the sight of her, especially seeing half of her face was hidden by those huge sunglasses and that floppy hat. It was probably that damn swimsuit, she thought.

Jan’s voice interrupted her train of thought. “I presume the pink lemonade’s for miss Goode? It’s her usual. I’ll put it on her tab.”

Crystal was quickly brought back to attention. “Who’s miss Goode?” she asked, trying not to seem too curious.

“Probably one of the richest teenagers in this hemisphere,” Jan scoffed.

Crystal gulped. “Oh, really?”

“Mmhm. Her dad’s a multimillionaire, he’s the CEO of some software company,” she said, not looking up from her task of refilling drinks. “He owns this whole country club. The Goode’s always spend their summer here.”

Crystal’s eyes widened. She knew that the girl would be rich, but she didn’t think she would be that rich. She was suddenly very intimidated, but she somehow wasn’t surprised. This ‘miss Goode’ looked like a million dollars, and apparently she was worth even more. One thing was for certain, though - any feelings she possibly could’ve had towards her had to be squashed, immediately.

“She’s not a bad kid, though,” Jan continued. “I kinda feel bad for her sometimes.”

“Why’s that?”

Before Jan could answer, their workmate Heidi swept through from the kitchen, carrying a stack of trays in one hand and a towel in the other, and took her place behind the bar with Jan. “Oh please, there’s nothing to feel bad for. She’s a bazillionaire, she’ll probably never work a day in her life!” she exclaimed, clearly having overheard their conversation. “If I was that rich, I’d be living it up in a mansion with all my rich friends and buying loads of cars and having parties every night. But, ya know. Poverty,” she said, laughing at her own joke immediately after.

Crystal found herself chuckling along and automatically agreeing with Heidi - she was sure that money like that would solve all of her problems. But she was reluctant to say so, and she wasn’t quite sure why.

“You’d better not keep her waiting, Crystal,” Jan prompted, handing over the fresh pint of beer and a tall glass of pink lemonade, which had a pink straw and crushed ice and a strawberry and slice of lemon on the rim. Crystal thought that it should have one of those mini cocktail umbrellas too, but she supposed that would’ve been a little overkill.

Gently balancing the drinks on her cart, she nodded in thanks to the girls, promising to meet them on their lunch break, and started wheeling it out the double doors, back towards the pool and the sun loungers.

Back towards miss Goode.

She wasn’t entirely sure that the colour of her face had settled by now, but she hoped that she wouldn’t be able to tell from behind her sunglasses. She told herself the nerves that were building in her chest were because of this girl’s social status, and definitely not because she was pretty. Definitely not. That didn’t even cross Crystal’s mind. She didn’t even need to tell herself that looking at a customer like that was a bad idea, and that miss Goode was probably straight, and that she’d never think twice about dating an employee. No, of course not. That would be stupid.

As she walked ever closer, Crystal was psyching herself up, telling herself to stop being an awkward mess and just be cool. Act natural. All she had to do was hand her the glass without making it too obvious that she was nervous. Easy. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. (And, avoid staring at her in that bathing suit, which was significantly less easy peasy lemon squeezy).

Before she knew it, she was a couple steps away from her. This was it. Just hand her the drink and get out of there. She could do this.

The girl turned to face Crystal when she saw her coming, offering her a smile. And then, she reached up and took off her sunglasses. And Crystal got a glimpse of her eyes for the first time. They were a piercing icy blue, and they twinkled in the sunshine, and Crystal didn’t want to take her eyes off of them.

Crystal fumbled on her cart and grabbed a glass, handing it to Gigi, not wanting to break eye contact for a second. She may have only been holding eye contact for a few seconds, but Crystal was captivated, swimming in her gaze.

And then, the girl looked downwards, and her face fell, and for just a second, Crystal’s heart dropped. Her brows furrowed. She looked confused.

And then Crystal realised she hadn’t handed the girl her pink lemonade, but the pint of beer.

Crap.

“Usually I get ID’d before someone serves me alcohol,” the girl said with a cocky smirk.

“Oh, uh, sorry!”

Crystal felt the heat rushing to her cheeks as she fumbled to fix her mistake, practically shoving the pink drink in her free hand as panic caught in her throat. She had one job. One simple job. She snatched the pint glass away from her with shaky hands.

And then, she dropped it.

“Shit!”

The glass miraculously didn’t smash, but its contents were spilt all over the poolside tiles.

This was all she needed.

Crystal sighed, just desolately staring at her reflection at the puddle of beer for a few seconds as an overwhelming feeling of for fuck’s sake overtook her. She groaned, flailing her arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum. She heard the girl beside her start to chuckle with that stupid cocky smirk still plastered on her face, perching on the edge of the sun lounger and looking up at Crystal.

“You know, someone should really clean that up,” she said, flashing Crystal a grin. “It’s a slipping hazard.”

Crystal rolled her eyes. “We’re by a pool, everywhere’s a slipping hazard,” she said, but she fumbled for the towel that she had tucked into her apron pocket anyways, kneeling down to wipe it up.

The girl giggled at that, leaning back against her chair with her crossed legs outstretched before her (which Crystal definitely didn’t find herself staring at). “You didn’t strike me as the type to talk back, but I’m pleasantly surprised,” she said, taking an obnoxiously loud slurp through her pink bendy straw.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Most of the staff here are no fun. I think they’re all afraid I’m gonna get them fired or something,” she said with a shrug. “You seem fun though.”

Crystal felt herself blush, but this time she wasn’t embarrassed. She was smiling. “Well, God didn’t give me this incredible personality to be quiet.”

The girl laughed, tucking a lock of her dark chocolate brown hair behind her ear. Crystal couldn’t help but take notice of the way she stuck her tongue out just a little as she giggled, and it made her smile, too. She giggled like a little girl, and it seemed like such a contrast to her effortless chic-ness. Crystal found it endearing. And very cute.

“I haven’t seen you around here before, have I?” the girl said. Her eyes scanned Crystal’s face, and Crystal tried to focus on wiping up the spilt drink because she was sure that if she caught another glance at the girl’s doll eyes looking directly at her, her brain would start shutting down.

“I don’t think so,” Crystal replied. “I only started here about a week ago.”

“I thought so,” the girl hummed, before taking another sip from her glass. “I think I would’ve remembered you.”

Crystal could’ve swallowed her own tongue at that. Instead she clenched her jaw and continued cleaning, keeping her lips firmly shut to make sure she didn’t say something stupid.

“So what’s your name then?”

“Crystal,”

“Nice to meet you, Crystal,” the girl said with a quick raise of her eyebrows.

“Nice to meet you too, uh-.”

“Gigi,” the girl said with a smile.

“Gigi,” Crystal replied, seeing how her name felt on her tongue, and recalling the name Jan had mentioned earlier. Gigi Goode. It felt right, she thought. It suited her. It definitely seemed like a rich girl name, and as far as rich girls came, this girl was supposedly in a league of her own. Though Crystal tried not to think about that - her massive sunglasses and her perfect model body were already intimidating enough.

Not that Crystal was thinking about her body or anything. Especially not about how good it looked in that pretty swimsuit.

Of course not.

Once she had the beer all mopped up, Crystal tossed the soaked towel over her shoulder, picking up the desolate pint glass from the ground and placing it on her beer cart, still in awe of how it didn’t smash on the outdoor tiles. She supposed the universe had felt bad for her - she’d had quite enough beer issues for today, and the last thing she needed was broken glass to deal with, too.

The knowledge that she’d have to go back for yet another beer for that lying bastard, though, made her want to throw the glass at a brick wall.

She felt frustration build up in her chest at the thought, and sighed. Perhaps a little too loudly, though, as Gigi seemed to pick up in it.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Ugh, I just have to go get this annoying guy another beer now,” Crystal replied with a roll of her eyes.

“How is he annoying?”

Crystal probably shouldn’t be saying this to the daughter of the country club owner, but fuck it, she needed to vent. “There’s a group of them, actually. They always yell at me and pretend I got their order wrong so they can get another free beer. I know it’s not that bad, but it just rubs me the wrong way.”

Crystal looked at Gigi, whose face had changed to one of shock and anger, her mouth hanging open slightly and her eyebrows furrowed. She stayed silent for a second, before standing up from her sun lounger, scanning the pool area. “Who was it?”

“That guy over there, in the blue polo shirt,” Crystal said, gesturing towards him.

Gigi nodded, her eyes narrowing. Crystal saw her clutch her glass tightly, her knuckles turning white. “Oh. Him,” she said, her voice stoic. “I know him. Well, I guess I won’t be needing the rest of my drink!” she said, and with that, she was off, quickly marching to the spot where the man stood.

Before Crystal had time to comprehend what was happening, Gigi was face to face with the man, and Crystal was frozen in her spot, her feet stuck to the ground a few meters away from them.

She heard Gigi’s voice yell something, and then she was throwing her pink lemonade in the man’s face.

He was drenched, and Crystal had to cover her mouth to suppress her laughter.

Crystal half expected the now dripping man to start yelling, screaming at Gigi like he had screamed at her. But instead he remained silent, not looking angry, but more at a loss for words, before he trudged off grumpily, presumably to get changed.

When her eyes darted away from the man, Gigi was nowhere to be seen. But even so, she still found herself grinning like a fool.

And, when her manager called her to clean up the spilt pink lemonade by the pool, she was more than happy to oblige.

[verasquid]

Things my sister says when playing Sims 3

@windlefin says some weird shit

“He looks like a retired drag queen.”

“He looks like he sells spices on the side of the road.”

“Check out this John Travolta looking motherfucker.”

“He just got out of Videogame jail.”

“Wow look at this hip individual.”

“Good ol’ racism up in here.”

“Spicy…..Here in my garaaaaaage.”

“Give her some…boomis.”

“Just look up the Activia lady.”

“She’s like a soccer mom but I want her to be cool. So like, a cool, hot soccer mom.”

“Alright, my buff soccer mom. Ugly pants ON. That’s like a mom jean. But she’s like a cool mom.”

“She has no job; she just makes instagram workout videos.”

“That’s a mom sleep.”

“They’re even automating video games now. They even automated me out of my lets play channel.”

“What’s her name….BINGUS. Gimme one of those names that sounds like a really nasty suburban name that’s like Ashley but spelled real nasty. Shayleen! And now I need a emo son.”

“It’s all I do, make emo boys online.”

“Wow he looks like he rides a horse.”

“Oh fuck I fucked up. Oh good god.”

*gives him a soul patch* “If you have facial hair like this you should be sent to jail immediately. So bad.”

“Who asked for this to be a gradient? It looks terrible. He has to wear it. I can’t believe people.”

“He just follows bands online, look at him go. He’s a diva, he has a MySpace blog.”

“I need a very studious teen. And she’s VERY white. I need diversity in my biracial family.”

“She has a tumblr blog where she posts pictures of herself studying.”

“Something about blonde eyebrows is satanic.”

“This girl will reek of self-importance.”

“I always read fiancé as finance.”

“I’m gonna make this house habitable so I can get on with ruining these people’s lives. WRECK THE ROOF.”

Me: You say the best things. “That’s what they pay me for.” Me: Who? “The YouTube?”

“Oh sweet, I’m gonna put some bushes up here. That’s really ugly.”

“I thought that poster said ‘syphilis.’”

“He wants to paint his bedroom black but his parents won’t let him.” Me: Make it bright yellow. “No, its blue to match his bedsheets so I don’t get a fucking seizure looking at this.”

“Oh dancing bunny? We’ll have that nonsense up here.”

“She’s gonna have like…the demeanor of a girl who was really into ponies.”

“No kitchens. Just room for spoiled girl.”

“It’s not worth deconstructing this entire house just so this bitch can have a diva station.”

(Rapping) “Give that bitch a desk/ Give that bitch a desk/ So she can study/ so she can pass the test.”

Me: Fuck is that tiny-ass rug? “For her tiny-ass feet.”

“Waluigi Tv. That’s big.”

“That couch was found at your aunt’s garage sale. Even your aunt didn’t want it.”

“What are the bitches these day obsessed with, succulents?”

Me: This house is owned by cryptids. “Rented out in the name of mothman.”

“Need someone to suck your froth? Call my fucking number!”

Me: Not mothman, frothman. “Frothman is what they call the guy who works the slushie machine.”

“God, this kitchens so ugly I’m gonna leave the country.”

“How many cabinets can I fit in one room? They need lots of counter space for their gadgets. You kids know about gadgets?”

“What the heck’s this? IT HANGS? I need it.”

“When I drink the koolaid, I get diarrhea cuz I can’t process the chemicals.”

“Eyy put this ugly shit in my house. MTV, welcome to my crib.”

Me: A workout library? “Oh, you’ve invented something dangerous. The books would get all sweaty.”

“Fuck a library: my advice for today.”

“I need a plant or whatever bitches are into.”

“Oh shit they don’t have a toilet. That’s gonna be a problem.” Me: Put it outside. They must humiliate themselves whenever they take a whizz. “You gotta go to therapy.”

“You know what? I’m gonna make this a fluorescent hellscape.”

“You wanna buy a tomato, you stupid bitch?”

“No, you can’t buy a bunk bed, why do y'all freaks want bunk beds?”

“What is that, a stroller? Get out of here with that shit, my baby crawls.”

“What can I get that is completely useless?”

[the-radio-star]

I rewatched Season 1 of Star Wars Rebels with some Nice Live Reactions

take a look below the cut so that I don’t muck up everyone’s dash.  I can promise some good memes if nothing else.

Episode 1: Spark of Rebellion

Ezra's hair wow

Ezra's imperial accent never really improved did it

"who is that kid?" "who are these guys?"

EZRA SENSES KANAN

Tbt to when Kanan only used his blaster

Kanan has so much style as a cowboy Jedi.  So cocky.  So much swagger.  Honestly they were all so much cockier.

Did Sabine just call Kanan "the big guy?".  omg.

wow the spectres were so much a ragtag vigilante crew.  I forgot this vibe.

THEY SAVED EZRA FROM THE TIE.  "YOU WANT A RIDE??"  FUCK YEAH YOU DO.  THAT RIDE IS GONNA CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Ah yes.  The scene where my OTP took form.  The Kanera is strong with this one.

Kinda funny when Zeb says "I'll give you your own room".  Yeah, he kinda did in the end.  His own.  

WHEN KALLUS TAKES OFF HIS HELMET AND HIS FACIAL HAIR IS IN THE SAME SHAPE.

Kallus: "It could signify the spark of rebellion".

OH RIGHT KANAN DIDN'T EVEN CARRY HIS LIGHTSABER BACK THEN.  HE HAD IT HIDDEN IN HIS DRAWER IN HIS ROOM

I didn't realize until now that Kanan planted the holocron for Ezra to find.  How did I fucking miss that?

"We're a crew, a team.  In some ways, a family."  AHHHHH

"I'm all for sticking it to the Empire but there's no way I'd stick my neck out this far."  Yeah... just wait hahaha.  You'll be running to save them in like a scene or two.  

a "rare hairless wookie" nice try buddy.  also that wookie roar was just really sad lol

"It was a setup!"  story of this show.

The introduction of "Jabba the Hutt" is so iconic

I never did understand that weird Kallus shoulder brush.

WAIT Chopper voted to go back for Ezra?!!?!  HOW DID I MISS THAT

Ezra is so slick with that "bye guys"

They landed on a destroyer.  They.  Did.  THAT.

"I don't have parents."  WELL YOU DO NOW

ngl the wookie animation was a real low point

JEDI MAN IS HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP.  YES.  AN ICONIC MOMENT.  TIME STOPPED.  THE MUSIC SWELLED.

Are we gonna talk about the fact the Kallus kicks some guy to his death simply for being a sass master?  I feel like that extremely extra moment is overlooked. 

We haven't heard from the Wookies since this episode and they said they'd always stand by the rebellion.  I wanna see this arc come full circle.

"Hello MTV Cribs!  Welcome to my Comm Tower."

Kanan has some pretty kickass eyebrows.

This ending scene overlaid with Kenobi's speech is so telling

woah the grand inquisitor was more of a menace than I remembered.  fuck.

Episode 2: Droids in Distress

throwback to when money was a real issue for them.  like they had to do odd rebel jobs just to eat.

C3PO AND R2

Garel.  I didn't realize they were on this planet before the rebel ships got hidden there in season 2

Minister Tua.  RIP.  You tried.  At least Kallus is trying to finish what you started.  Even if he took some pleasure in your destruction lol

Sabine really hams up this "Level 5 student" stuff and I love it

ZEB DOES A SLOW CLAP WHAT

There was an expression at my high school called "tossing bodies" (meaning using crazy sarcasm that simply annihilates your enemies) and I feel like that phrase describes Zeb's life really well.  Literally and figuratively.

Kallus was such a force in season 1

C3PO YOU SNITCH

Vizago is such a scumbag but I like his style

This is actually the first time on-screen Hera is seen by Imperials as a confirmed member of the Ghost crew.  Weird thought.

FUCK HIM UP ZEB

FUCK HIM UP EZRA

Bail Organa!  This episode was full of cameos.  Although tbh I thought he'd be much more of a big player later on in the show.  Right now, it's mostly Sato and Mon Mothma doing the heavy lifting.  IMHO.

Episode 3: Fighter Flight

yung Ezra used to not even be able to force lift a bowl.  nerd.

I'm watching this right after I watched Twin Suns (which aired today) and I can't get over how smol Ezra looks after watching that episode

Hera's having none of their tomfoolery

MEILOORUNS I REMEMBER THOSE

Mr. Suma.  RIP my dude

When Ezra realizes he got memed by Hera>>>>>>

I can't believe Zeb King Kong's the TIE

The facial expressions in this episode were honestly top-notch.  Literally any gif of Zeb and Ezra's expressions while flying the TIE could be a reaction gif

HERA AND KANAN CALLED THEM "THE KIDS"

"Yeah...um... westoleaTIEfighter"

Commander Meiloorun's first appearance!

Stormtrooper: "You did all this, for FRUIT?"  Ezra:

What would you do for a Klondike bar meiloorun?

AHH Zeb got a helmet for Ezra!

Can we compile a list of all the different insults they have for Chopper?

Lol when we thought this TIE was going to be just a filler

Episode 4: Rise of the Old Masters

this was the first "oh shit" episode.  i clearly remember that

Why is there just a random box on the roof?  Just curious.  I'm confused.  Never figured that out.

Don't trust Ezra with a lightsaber.  "You'll put your eye out kid!"

This whole scene is like when my parents tried to teach me to play softball

GALL TRAYVIS.  FUCK YOU.

"Base Delta Zero".  Is that ever going to happen?  It was hinted heavily in season 1.  Remember when we thought Lothal was going to get murked?

Ezra you IDIOT

Lol I forgot what an ass Ezra used to be

God even from the start their plans never went...well... to plan

Lol @ the creatures who are trying to fuck with the Phantom.  Pun intended.

Even after 3 seasons, I'd wager that this episode was one of the darkest ones we've had

NUT.  IT'S MY BOY GRAND INquIZZY

Kanan really couldn't fight for shit with this guy

Ezra don't even play with that slingshot you fool.  It's like trying to take a rhino down with pingpong balls.

Jeez this guy was real scary.  Like damn.  I forgot what a strain he was on Ezra and Kanan

tbt to when "the fleet" was just a bunch of horny alien bats

what a pure ending for such a murdersode.

Episode 5: Breaking Ranks

I kind of forgot that this happened the episode after the Inquisitor first met Kanan and Ezra.  Now it makes sense why Kanan was so worried, besides the fact that Ezra was on a solo mission.

I remember when I first saw the preview for this I thought Ezra was going to be a traitor.

Damn that's a kinda shitty paint job on Chopper.  Glad they got better over time.

"Oh ya, you'd make quite a cadet."

Throwback to when going into Kallus' office was a huge operation.  And in season 3 Ezra is in Thrawn's like it's another Tuesday.

Get fucked Jai

"Podracer parts" nice try

HOOOO BOY IT'S THE INQUISATA

Jai just listen to them goshdamn "If there is an Inquisitor" my ass

Chopper and Ezra y'all ain't slick

Damn that slide across the back of the landspeeder was slick though

HOLY SHIT THE INQUISITOR KNOWS/REMEMBERS EZRA LOL

"Let's take a walk, shall we?"

Episode 6: Out of Darkness

Sabine does have a point.  She does deserve to know where this "intel" is coming from.

Fulcrum Fulcrum Fulcrum.  GEE WHIZ I WONDER WHO THAT IS.  AHSOKA?  IT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE!  I BET IT'S BAIL.  OR DARTH VADAR.  OR OBI-WAN.

The Ezra vs Zeb vs Chopper wars were iconic

THERE's A SYMBOL ON THE BOX.  I BET IT'S JAR JAR.  IT LOOKS LIKE HIS LEGS.  AHHHHHHHH

The squad is in town lol

Zeb's just trying to enjoy is space music and waffles!  Let him be!

Oh heck those are some nice explosions

Oh heck here comes the Ghost waddup

Once again Ezra almost dies because he doesn't know when to get back to the damn ship

"There's a lot you don't know about my ship." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It's easy to forget how alone they really were in the first season.  No fleet to fall back on and hardly any allies.

Episode 7: Empire Day

That Loth Cat used to be my icon on theforce.net forums

Oh shit wait it's Ezra's birthday hahaha what sucky timing.  Happy birthday, your parents are missing, it's Empire Day, and you're going to fight some Inquisitor later and nearly die in a cave.

Ugh throwback to when the squad could just go places without anyone recognizing them.

Tseebo!  My boi

Tbh the real hero of this episode was the bartender who sassed the imperials

FUCK YOU GALL TRAYVIS

When the Empire Day imperial march comes on

WHEN EZRA PRETENDS KANAN IS HIS DRUNK DAD

Oh fuck it's the Inquisitoriaiaia

Damn the Bridger's were cool people.  I wish Disney published a book or something.

What was the 5 year plan?  Did we miss that?  Cause 5 years is coming up fast.

Fast And Furious: Lothal Drift

After watching Kallus in season 1 it's amazing to think of the path that leads him to help the rebels

Episode 8: Gathering Forces

Tseebo spill the beans already like "You're parents are dead get fucked  Bridger"

The Inquisitor's face is so chiseled like damn

"The Imperials can't follow us through hyperspace" yeah just wait til season 2 when they PULL YOU OUT OF hyperspace

My friends are currently playing "Never Gonna Hit Those Notes" in the background and so I'm cackling through what's suppose to be a serious scene.  Try it.  It's an amazing combo.

I feel like pulling out of hyperspace looks like what it's like to be on acid

Below is actual footage of this scene

Both Kanan and Vader have called Ezra "braver than most"

I've heard that clip of Fulcrum so many times when we were trying to analyze it.  It's like ingrained in me now.

Hera never did tell Ezra about his parents though.  Just saying.

The Inquisibabe really knows how to make an entrance.  Also his chuckles make me feel uncomfy.

Kanan's come a damn long way in terms of fighting

Inquisitor talks about everyone dying or leaving and everything he hoped for will be lost and that's how the story will end for Ezra.  I mean, that could still happen.  Just saying.  How yikes if this baddie from season 1 was right.

Another pure ending to a mudersode.

Episode 9: Path of the Jedi

Ok so this version of the episode has that intro with Ezra from the first season the "you passed the first test!" bit.  I completely forgot that was a thing.

Said it before and I'll say it again: I miss Lothal.  Never thought that would happen.

"Dead guys are distracting."  Same.

This episode was so fucking trippy holy shit I remember now

"Nothing personal kid" fuck hahaha

When Kanan heard Yoda's voice

My friend is watching over my shoulder and she pointed out Ezra's blue hair lol

"I know what's in there... the past" u drama queen u

no to be that guy but throwforward to when Vader trashes the saber hahaha

Episode 10: Idiot’s Array

WAIT THIS IS THE PUFFERPIG EPISODE

IT IS IT IS

fuck it's Azmorigan what a twat

oh god all of this “trading Hera” stuff was so awkward

FUCK HIM UP

When Hera slams Lando where the sun don't shine

Damn Chopper really does come through on the regular.  Good droid

Hahaha they both played each other`

This was a very chill episode before things got bad.

Episode 11: Vision of Hope

Ugh FUCK GALL TRAYVIS

Ezra is such a Gall Trayvis fanboy

If I was in Star Wars I'd like to have a pirate radio station.  Like what a sweet gig

What happened to Zare after this?  He's a good kid.  I hope he's doing well.

Agent Kallus' office needs some more decoration.  Like some Ikea sofas or something.

I just saw Logan in theaters before coming back and watching this episode and it took me a bit to remember that guns can actually do damage to someone

"Padawan Jabba"

Trayvis is real weaksauce

10/10 would fight him again

The ending of the episode is funny because it's so hopeful and uplifting and "things will get better" and instead next episode things get 10x worse lol

Episode 12: Call to Action

This episode actually made me hurt.  I remember I watched it the day it dropped on the app and I was a snow day and it was six in the morning and I was SHOOK

Ugh Tarkin's contour game is so strong

My roommate saw Tarkin and said he looks like Christopher Walken

Ok so I had to pause this episode 2 minutes in because we went to a party and things got a little lit but I'm deterimened to finsh these episdoes.  ONWARD.  SAVE THE REBELLION SAVE THE DREAM.

FUCK GALL TRAYVIS

"Something the Empire never says: The Truth" lol alternative facts 

When the Inquisitor steps behind those guys in the Tarkin meeting that's when you know they fucked

In memorium for those two imperails that got beheaded I forget their names but I miss there smiling faces already

My Roommate (on Ezra): I hate his hair!  It' looks like it's alive.

"Let's be optmistic!" yeah ok good luck with that buddy

"You can have it fast or you can have it good." that's what... nevermidn

oh damn i din't realize they got the radio thing from Ezra's house

The sacrfice speech was some heavy handed foreshadowing like MAJOR AHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"I'll be RIGHT BEHIND YOU"

INQUISINUT is hHERE

THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE IS JUST AHHH

FUCK HE'S CAUGHT

yup this episode destroyed the fandom I remember this the whole morning after it aired it was like

Hera's faCE WHEN SHE LEAVES KANAN BEHIND FUCK

THIS SPEECH AHHH VIVA LA REVOLUCION

The ending title card with just the static and no music was so unsettling when I first watched this episode

#BringHimHome

Episode 13: Rebel Resolve

Why are we stealing this walker again?

Rogue Walker: A Star Wars Story

Oh right they needed to find where Kanan was

FULCRUM!  I BET IT'S SNOKE

Ugh this was all such a sucky situation for them

Looks like the kids are at it again

Tarkin when Kanan is screaming in pain:

Oh gosh Ezra's bow is embarrassing

Ooop Hera is PISSEd

This is the first time Ezra started taking more charge with the Ghost crew and me gusta

Now THAT is a Chopper paint job to be proud of

Unrelated but my roommate and s/o are like cuddling and bein all cute and I'm just here in a corner watching Star Wars Rebels and I feel like that represents my life really well

I can't believe Chopper just pushed-- wait no I completely can

MUSTAFAR more like MUSTAFUCKED am I right??

Episode 14: Fire Across the Galaxy

Last one!  I can't believe I managed to pull this off

What a lovely explosion

I just dabbed on the title sequence

RETURN OF THE DEAD-TIE

Mustafar is the same color of a particularly nasty shit I once had

This whole scene with the Inquisitor and Kanan was just y i k e s and o u c h

HERE COMES THE TEAM

They really managed to cram a lot into 22 minutes like nice job

OH FUCK IT'S THE INQUISHITOR

GET FUCKED EZRA BRIDGER.  

Lol I actually thought he might be seriously injured the first time I saw this

The Inquisitor's smile with the teeth looks straight out of a Colgate commercial

Kanan's lightsaber game is SO ON TOP

Damn Ezra those scars

I DABBED LIKE SIX TIMES WHEN THE INquiSITOR DID THAT OH-SO-GRACEFUL FALL

HERE COMES THE REBEL SQUAD 2.0

MEGA NUT

THE HUG.  OH THE HUG

I REMEMBER I WAS SO HYPED WHEN ALL THIS HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME.  LIKE MY BROTHER'S STREAM IN THE OTHER ROOM WAS A FEW SECONDS BEHIND AND WHEN wait

"THE PROTOCAL HAS CHANGED!!!!!"

AHHHHHHHHHHh

Anyways his stream was a few seconds behind and so like our yelps of joy were like 4 seconds apart and it was great

I know Ezra's matured a lot but whenever I see him around important folks all I can think of is

oh shit here comes dat boi

[anaxarmass]

Los Angeles

Who: Harry @h-stylezz and Ana

Where: Her LA home. 

Harry: the boy was used to the amount of flights he was having back and forth from the uk. At this point, the jet lag didn’t even phase him. he had carried out his usual routine of a little skin care and work on his laptop, and soon enough he was back at his home in the better weathered area of the globe. after a shower and pack of a bag, he was back out of the door again. the LA traffic had even added to the carefree journeys the male was taking today and aided him in arriving at the acquaintances within the hour. upon arrival, he slid his sunglasses to the top of his head and announced his presence with a knock at the females door.

 Ana: Ana had no idea that she would end up talking to one of her favorite singers and let alone end up flirting with him? It was all out of body feeling for her. The pair flirted like a ball in a tennis match at Wimbledon, each throwing a compliment and the other serving a blushing one back. She was living for it, hearing that he wanted to come over and hang out made her slightly giddy with excitement. Hours later when he arrived she opened the door and smiled a dazzling smile at him as she opened the door. “hola, papi”

Harry: Ana was absolutely stunning but could never have been prepared for it in person. “Sounds even better when I’m stood in front of you” he smirked, his tongue gliding across his bottom lip, a glistening look to his feature now. “You weren’t lying about being a small bean” as the words left his mouth, he gave her height a once over before opening his arms to invite her for a hug. He didn't want to assume that she would hug him, he’d basically only just met her so he was treading carefully not to cross any lines with her.

Ana: "You're too kind" she said softly looking at his now glistening bottom lip, it looked so inviting, 'Ana behave' she thought before seeing him opening up his arms for a hug. One of which she wouldn't turn down "Thank God you are a hugger!" She giggled before her smaller frame melted into his embrace.

Harry: "Of course I'm a hugger, I think I would be mad not to be" the male chuckled, wrapping his arms around the females body, pulling her into his warmth. She smelt incredible too. A pure weakness for the brunette. He kept the embrace for a few seconds before stepping back but leaving his hand on her back. "So is this the beginning of your MTV cribs tour because it sure feels like it. Or have i just come all this way for a hug?"

Ana: "Well I'm very grateful that you like hugs" she said smiling before pulling away from him as well, she usually waited until the other would pull away. "yes it is, I have the best crib, and I mean more than a hug of you're lucky"

Harry: "I need you to show me with your best Snoop Dog impersonation please" the male challenged, cocking an eyebrow at the girl. This only stayed arched with her comment finally being processed. "Hold on, more? Please elaborate"

Ana: "I'm not high so that wouldn't sound accurate" she said laughing before she looked up at him again "Just saying that if the tension is too much we might need to remedy it"

Harry: "I think it would be a funny attempt though" harry laughed, even the thought sounded hilarious to him. "Noted" the brunette responded. His eyes then scanned the room from the place he was stood and attempted to search the area for the dogs. "So where are the two dogs? I mean thats the reason I'm here right? And what's the story there?"

Ana: She thought about it for a moment and did her best "yo, yo, my hizzle welcome to my cribbzle" and said before snorting once and saying "never make me do that again. And for the dogs they are in the backyard." She said taking his hand and pulling him through the massive kitchen.

Harry: harry couldnt help but laugh at the attempt, it was great and he appreciated the attempt. "that was amazing, ill just wait until youre drunk and request it again" the male winked. as she led him through, the kitchen he looked down at his feet to make sure he wouldnt trip and on the way back up a glance was paid to her ass. fuck, she was hot. "so are they named after elvis and the dance?"

Ana: Ana couldn't stop the blush from embarrassment that washed over her features "As long as you do an impression for me." She said glancing back up at him again, she shook her head "well Elvis has always been a fave of mine, so yes and no about the name of Salsa, I got the sweet puppy home, my ex Ben, he was eating salsa and each time he said it the sweet puppy would she would perk her ears up and bark the cutest little bark ever and that just happened to be the only name that she responded to. " She said shrugging " Also I would Salsa with her and she would calm down in thunderstorms"

Harry: “Snoop Dog impression? You ever heard the just eat advert? If not the impression will be a waste” he quizzed, narrowing his eyes to read her expression and to whether she had heard of it. The boy listened to her speak and continued the walk to the backyard where he spotted the two dogs. And yes they were as adorable as expected. “Great names I must say” Harry nodded, crouching down so that he could stroke the first dog that came to him. “Hey little guy, aren’t you cute”

Ana: "No not Snoop when I already killed that one" she said nodding her head as they entered the backyard the pool water was sparkling against the sunshine and her dogs were barking for new attention "Elvis is an old man, and Salsa she's a baby" she said before laying on the grass and Salsa came bounding over to her she kissed her head and giggled at her barking "He's a friend relax baba"

Harry: “Then what impression are you wanting to hear from me?” The male began, “pick wisely because I will also murder whatever I attempt too”. Harry continued to stroke the dog and looked over at the girl as she laid on the grass and the other dog came over to her. “Ouch, friendzoned already and I haven’t even tried yet”

Ana: "I don't know something wild or random" she said shrugging "Are you hoping to be more than just a friend of mine?" She said winking at him.

Harry: The male thought, taking a seat on the grass but facing the relaxed Cuban, “I do a great Chandler bing if you’re a friends fan?.” Harry laughed and shook his head, unzipping his bag before looking back at the girl. “Well I mean it would suck to have a friend as sexy as you”

Ana: "I do love Friends" she said nodding her head her shoulder length bob bouncing. "Likewise"

Harry: “Could you BE anymore attractive?” He responded, putting on his best chandler impression before pulling his shirt up and off his body. He stuffed that into his bag and then rose to his feet. “You gonna join me for a swim then?”

Ana: She blushed and stared laughing "That was..." She said watching him taking off his shirt biting her lower lip at the way his tattoos were shining in the sunlight "um.. what were you saying again?"

Harry: “Do you want me to give you a minute?” He smirked, quoting her own statement from earlier when she’d left him speechless. Now the tables had turned and he was going to take the opportunity and run with it. Seeing that her eyes were on him still, he then proceeded with his joggers so he was just in some swimming trunks he had popped on under his joggers before he’d left his house for ease.

Ana: She bit her lip again her eyes wide and checking him out again "Just enjoying the view to be completely honest with you" she said before she stood up and took off her tee-shirt dress revealing a red and black bikini on her sunkissed skin.

Harry: It was now his turn to ‘enjoy the view’ and what a view it was. His eyes explored her body, taking in every curve that she possessed before moving his eyes back up to her eyes. In one swift movement, he scooped her up into his arms and jumped into the pool, the both of them submerged for a short while. When he returned to the surface, he shook his hair and then combed it back with his fingers.

Ana: She broke eye contact with him for a second until he wrapped his longer arms around her frame and jumped into the water with her, giggling wildly she popped her head above the water and she splashed more water at him.

Harry: Feeling the droplets of water hit him, he gasped and returned the favour. The male then moved closer, splashing her more the closer he got with a lot of laughter following each splash.

Ana: She hadn't felt this young or laughed this hard in a long while, he was playful, for having such a deep voice. Something she wasn't used to, "Okay, okay, my side hurts from laughing so much"

Harry: “Oh yeah? She’s giving up already. I think I won that” Harry smirked, bobbing up and down in the water. He used his fingers once again to comb his hair back as a few strands were dangling. “Just my ploy to get you in a bikini really wasn’t it”

Ana: She brushed some of his hair out of his eyes and she said "I didn't think it was a fair fight" she said raising one eyebrow "I'm always ready to be in a bikini"

Harry: As she brushed his hair away, he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. “What was unfair about it?” He asked, a smirk toying at the corner of his mouth. “I’ll remember that”

Ana: She grinned and felt goosebumps along her skin as he wrapped his arms around her waist "I'm sure you will"

Harry: His eyes looked over her features from her eyes down to her lips and back to her eyes again. “I look pretty hot in a bikini too, I must admit” the male joked, lifting her body slightly.

Ana: "Oh I have no doubt about that" she said before saying "I'm glad I met you" she said as he lifted her body "how do you feel?"

Harry: “I’m glad I met you too, you’re way more fun than I imagined. I hope you don’t take that the wrong way” Harry chuckled, shaking his head at himself. “That wasn’t meant to be a back handed compliment”

Ana: "Did you think I'd be serious, because I dated Batman?" She said raising an eyebrow "I'm sure it wasn't"

Harry: “You seem like a very mature individual, so mature that things like this just aren’t your cup of tea” he explained, slowly making his way over to the pool edge with her still in his arms. Once he reached it, he let his arms move away from her waist and instead cross over on the poolside.

Ana: "I didn't know I gave off that impression" She said once her back was against the wall of the pool she got up and sat on the wall "having fun?"

Harry: “Yeah but I don’t know you that we’ll do I?” He admitted, now looking up at her. “Yeah, are you? Also for once how does it feel to be the tall one?”

Ana: "You don't, not yet anyway" she said brushing her hair out of her face and looking down at him "it's a delicious feeling yes"

Harry: “Delicious feeling?” He questioned, raising his eyebrows. “Why delicious?”

Ana: "I don't feel empowered in a way like this and it's a delicious and delightful feeling"

Harry: “You don’t feel empowered by being taller?” He queried, moving across to stand directly in front of her body but still shorter than her.

Ana: "No I meant that my height usually doesn't make me feel empowered, as I would feel say commanding a room with my voice or acting ability, sending an email that was causing me anxiety, standing up for someone or something, makes me feel empowered, but my height rarely does."

Harry: “You feeling empowered right now?” He asked. It made sense what she was saying. The deeper things would make you feel more empowered that a genetic you can’t change.

Ana: "Just a little bit yes" she said looking into his green eyes "what makes you feel empowered?"

Harry: “Being able to control the audience with my hand, mostly just being on stage” he smiled, resting his chin on her thigh. “Do you like power?”

Ana: She grinned at him "I really ought to see you perform. " She said playing with his shaggy hair "I don't like power, I've seen what the wrong sort of people can do with power. But I do like being empowered."

 Harry: “Next time I’m playing, you should come along” he nodded, closing his eyes as she played with his hair. He loved the feeling of anyone playing with his air, it was so relaxing. “I can’t fault you for that. What’s the most empowering moment you’ve ever experienced?”

Ana: "Will you serenade me to Adore You?" She said looking at his face  and how relaxed he was with her. "Getting my first film in America"

Harry: “That means you’ll have to wear something bright so I can spot you or even a sign will do” he smirked, opening his eyes to look back up at her again. The thought that ran through his head now was singing ‘I get so lost inside your eyes’ to her, which was so true. “What was your first film?” He asked, planting his arms on either side of her against the pool side.

Ana: "I was thinking you might have me on stage" she said pouting slightly as she drew lazy shapes along his shoulders as the water from the pool dripped there. "it was called Hand Of Stone, I play the wife of a famous boxer, the role needed a Spanish and English speaking woman and they wanted some unknown, since I mainly did films and tv in Cuba or Spain, getting an international job like that was a blessing, plus the clothes were phenomenal"

Harry: “You really are looking for death threats yeah?” He chuckled. It was true, there were pockets in his following full of very toxic and crazy individuals that he didn’t want to be accountable for. It had been seen in his previous relationships. “Oh really? That’s so good then. Did you enjoy filming it? You still got some of the clothes? I can’t say I’ve ever watched it, maybe we should have a movie night sometime for it”

Ana: "After all the shit I received being with a much older man, I'm used to it and the potential rumors of being close to Evans when we filmed Knives Out, I've received it all" she said shrugging like it was a normal thing, because it was to her. "I stole this beautiful pink bathing suit, and I think one of the  medals off the wall, I'm hoping it was a fake. We can do that for sure. As for enjoying it? I was terrified they were going to be like " Get Selma or some other Spanish actress"

Harry: “Yeah? Then consider it done. You’re coming on for adore you” he nodded. The concern was there but if she was more than ready to experience it on stage with the backlash then he was going to continue being that people pleaser. “Yeah? I feel like you should reenact a scene with the bathing suit. Show me the scene first though so I can judge the performance. Selma is a goddess. But seems like you’ve done a good job of it because look at you now Miss Blade Runner.”

Ana: "Perfect!" She said laughing and clapping her hands "it's a sex scene, so..." She said blushing lightly looking down at him "I love Selma, Selena, all the amazing Hispanic or Latino actresses that paved the way for me to even have a voice,let alone a seat at the table. Miss  Blade Runner" she said raising an eyebrow  "oh,did you enjoy that film?"

Harry: “So... you need someone to play your costar?” He smirked, offering her a wink to add to his playfulness. Although he wouldn’t say no. “Oh yeah for sure. All very very talented women. Yeah Blade Runner is the film I first spotted you in and since then you’ve been in my top 10” Harry joked.

Ana: "I'd be honored to have you as a love interest in a film" she said smiling brightly. "yes I am not worthy of being in their shadow. Which look in Blade Runner of mine was your favorite? Top ten? Where do I rank now that you have met me?"

Harry: “Wouldn’t shy that far from the truth in real life would it?” The brunette toyed with her, poking her waist as he spoke. “It’s not necessarily the outfit but the hair when you have the all black outfit on that’s cut at the shoulders. You’re still under megan fox I’m afraid”

Ana: "Not yet anyway" she said coyly "Oh my hair is what drew you to me? Makes sense. Still? damnit how can I get on top?" She said pretending to think of ways.

Harry: With a quick gasp of breath, he placed his palm on his chest and mimicked the best painful expression he could followed by the words “You don’t fancy me?.” The male then moved beside her to drag himself out of the pool and sit beside her with his legs dangling in the water. “In that scene yeah, stunning. Girls with their hair up is a big weakness of mine. As much of a weakness as the word papi. I can’t give you all the answers, you’ll have to try”

Ana: She laughed at his fake pain before she brushed a wet strand out of her face and then cupping his jaw leaning in slightly "Am I the first to call you papi?"

Harry: “You are indeed” he nodded, letting his teeth pull in his bottom lip as she cupped his jaw. “Well at least the only girl it’s sounded good on”

Ana: She glanced at his lips and then his eyes again and decided to go for it, she leaning further tilting her head up she caught his lips in hers and she ran her hand throughout his hair.

Harry: As she moved in, he let his hand move to her waist and let himself reciprocate the kiss. He parted his lips ever so slightly but pulled at her body as to showcase his desire for more.

Ana: She let a light moan escape her slightly parted lips as he pulled her closer, the younger male knew what he was doing and it made Ana's heart race slightly faster.

Harry: All the encouragement he needed right now was in that very moan that left her mouth. His hands grazed her body as if they possessed a mind of their own, now urgently seeking an intense moment with the brunette. Her lips were like heroin and he was craving.

Ana: She felt his hands roaming her body, causing new goosebumps to raise along her skin both exposed and not. She slid her tongue along his and tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. She could feel time standing still and she pulled away for a moment to catch her breath.

 Harry: As she pulled back, he slowly let his eyes open and as they did, lock on her lips for a split second before meeting her eyes. “You’re so fucking hot”

Ana: She chuckled before she said "So are you, papi"

Harry: “You need to stop with that because you’re gonna start something you can’t finish” he warned, licking his bottom lip as he looked over her features, palm sliding down her thigh.

Ana: "How long are you in town?" She said taking his other hand in hers and kissing his knuckles

Harry: “I’m here for a couple weeks now, sorry” the Brit apologised, acting as though he was making her life difficult with being around and available. He then span so that his legs outstretched behind the girl and he was now fully facing her without having to turn his head to the side. “Why do you ask?”

Ana: "Why are you saying sorry?" She said looking in his eyes, her brows furrowed in confusion. "I just didn't want to be taking all your time if you had other plans while you're here. "

Harry: “I was joking” he chuckled, shaking his head. “I do have plans tomorrow but I’m free for today” he nodded, a smile forming after his comment. Her voice, her eyes, her wet hair, she was just unreal.

Ana: "Did you want to stay the night?" She said glancing into his emerald eyes, the way his curls framed his face she couldn't believe his jawline was that chiseled in person.

Harry: “It’s up to you, will you have clothes I can borrow tomorrow?” He smirked, “possibly that pink bodysuit?.” He then leant back so he was almost laying and propped himself up on his elbows.

Ana: "I thought you had some in your backpack?" She said tracing his abs

Harry: “I do don’t worry, I won’t stretch out your outfits” Harry chuckled, pulling out the towel from his bag to ruffle his hair with a dry it a little before dabbing himself down. “If you want me to stay then I will”

Ana: "Yeah that suit is like a extra, extra small" she said thinking of how tall he was compared to her "I hope I don't sound like I'm being too forward"

Harry: The male shrugged and tried to hide the playful smirk on his lips, “Yeah a size too small for me.” Once he was done, he folded the towel and laid it beside the bag to avoid the damp towel wetting his clothes. “Who said that’s a bad thing?”

 Ana: "Just a touch you small" she said shaking her head "I have a laundry room, don't worry about that" she said pointing to his backpack and his wet towel "So is this how you expected it to be?"

Harry: “Don’t expect you to do my washing” he chuckled. “It really is not at all. Did you expect this?”

Ana: "Yeah? I didn't expect I'd" she said before switching to a British accent "snog you"

Harry: “Yeah I didn’t expect you to lay it on me first either” he laughed. His phone then started vibrating causing Harry to look through his bag for it to spot the cockblock of a text. “You’re joking. I forgot I had a meal with my friend tonight, he’s waiting for me right now” Harry announced, taking out his clothes that he had packed to change into and looked at Ana. “We’re gonna have to raincheck this sleepover... mind closing your eyes?” He laughed as he was now stood and ready to take off his swim shorts.

Ana: "I thought you would to be honest" she said upon hearing his phone vibrate. "I plan on it being spectacular, I have a bathroom you can change in, so you aren't changing in broad daylight"

Harry: “I was planning on it but you beat me to it” he admitted. The boy nodded, slinging the bag over his shoulder and holding his hand out for the girl. “Do you mind doing the honours and showing me it?”

Ana: "Of course mi casa es su casa" she said taking his hand and squeezing it heading to her bathroom "Here you go" she said opening the door.

Harry: The male followed after the petite female. “Thank you” he smiled, tugging her body back against his so he could lean down and capture her lips with his.

Ana: She stood on her tiptoes and felt his arm around her again . She protested as he pulled away "How much do you care about this friend you have dinner with?" She said hoping he'd stay.

Harry: “I can’t stand him up” he stated, although his words didn’t seem too convincing in all honesty. He narrowed his eyes at her and smirked. “You’re trouble”

 Ana: "Worth a shot" she said popping the t at the end of the word. "the best kind"

Harry: “Jeff with dislike you before he even meets you” he laughed, embracing her into a hug. “Then he’ll meet you and understand exactly why” the male chuckled.

Ana: "I mean most people are intimidated by me before they know me" she said shrugging "okay get changed, you don't want your friend to hate me before he knows me"

Harry: And with that, he drew himself away and shut the door behind him. It didn’t take him long to get changed so before he knew it, he was back out of the bathroom again. “Right so when am I seeing you next?”

Ana: "Depends when do you have time free, papi?" She said sitting on the bar stool.

Harry: “Keep saying that and I’ll cancel plans and be free tonight” he smirked, adjusting his jumper slightly. “Tomorrow?”

 Ana: "Hm well I don't wanna keep you away from your friend. I'm not a monster. " She said before fixing his collar "Perfect"

Harry: “Okay okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then” he smiled, leaning in to give her one last kiss before heading towards the door.

Ana: She grinned into the kiss "adios, Harry" she said softly as he left to go to the door.

[octariane]

OH BOY OH BOY HUNGER GAMES SIMULATOR BUT WITH GEMSONAS

Warning: long post

Please read I spent a fucking hour writing this garbage

We have here:

The lovely Pyrite, my first Gemsona that I made.

Ogliclase, The Smol™

Adventurine, who has no other description other than when I got an irl sample of it I thought it was a Malachite and made a Malachitesona instead.

Amethyst. Just Amethyst. You can decide whether she’s the canon or otherwise.

Obsidian, who burst out of a fuckin’ volcano, flipping the bird to everyone below.

Pink Tourmaline, who blinks too much.

Rose Quartz, again, you can decide whether or not the’s the canon one in this scenario.

Orange Amethyst, who is like Amethyst, except you know that picture that’s like “Daniel” and then next to it is another pic that says, “The cooler daniel”? that’s her.

Sodalite, who mcfuckin’ chugs soda.

Meteor, who fell from space and somehow didn’t die.

Color Change Sapphire, who, as you will see, is obsessed with being both a Cutie™ and a Serial Killer™.

Emerald, who blinks too little.

Sunstone, who praises both the sun and toaster ovens bc she thinks both are gifts from some kind of gods.

Flourite, who flosses even tho she doesn’t need to.

Gold, who thinks she’s superior to Pyrite in every way.

Copper, who’s only there bc she’s useful and has no idea everyone uses her.

Nickel, who is anti-vore. Put any vore on her dash and she will find you and end you.

Onyx, who is that stereo-typical emo edgelord kid who listens to Wake Me up Inside on a repeat in class, except they’re an immortal gemstone-based shitlord.

Drusy Quartz, who is that one person when making an art project who screams “MORE GLITTER”

Bi-Color Tourmaline, who is slightly less murder-y than Color Change Sapphire.

Calcite, who makes sure to get her daily recommendation of calcium everyday, despite NOT NEEDING IT.

And finally, Citrine, who is that one chick who, when asked to describe herself, says, “Indescribable.”

Let THE BLOODBATH begin.

Idk what sais are, but Meteor has already snatched that shit.

Gold runs away like a pussy.

Nickel runs away like a pussy.

Copper and Pink Tourmaline get into a cat fight over a Gucci bag filled with fruit roll-ups, but then Pink Tourmaline quits and runs away like a lil’ bitch.

Rough Blue Calcite runs away like a pussy.

Oglioglase runs away like a pussy.

Adventurine, determined to murder some bitches, grabs a shovel.

Sunstone runs away like a pussy.

Rose Quartz runs away like a WAR HERO/CRIMINAL!

Flourite runs away like a pussy.

Color Change Sapphire, feeling bloodthirsty, prison-shanks the glittery Drusy Quartz, and begins to...

Is this script right?

Drink her fucking glitter-colored blood?

Holy shit.

Sodalite spawn-camps the cornucopia for resources.

Obsidian runs away like a pussy.

Bi-Color Tourmaline grabs a shield or whatever.

Citrine runs away like a pussy.

Pyrite runs away like a pussy. My first gemsona has become a massive pussy...I am dissapoint.

Calcite high-tails it outta there, her calcium giving her a boost.

Steel, Onyx, and The Cooler Daniel Orange Amethyst work together and mc-steal some resources, just ignoring Sodalite I guess.

Emerald runs out of there, she is oh too precious to get hurt by these miscreants!

Amethyst runs away, clearly being the normal Daniel in this situation.

Amethyst makes a slingshot, determined to be The Cooler Daniel in this situation.

Emerald chases Rough Blue Calcite because she gave her art a bad review. As we speak, her fangirls will soon also arrive to witch-hunt Rough Blue Calcite.

Copper collects fruit, because apparently this stadium makes you have the cravings of a human.

Pink Tourmaline chases Oglioclase because Oglioclase lied about her height on her Tinder profile.

Flourite prepares to shoot some bitches.

Steel goes on a nature-walk in a death arena, because why not.

Adventurine gets a murder-hatchet from Arby’s.

Rose Quartz also gets a murder-hatchet from Arby’s.

Gold tries to sleep though this bullshit.

Sunstone also tries to sleep through this bullshit.

Obsidian suffers from a well-known gem disease, called The Thirst, which primarily affects Pearls, but can also affect other Gems.

Pyrite tries to slash at Meteor’s face-zone, but her nails break, so Meteor McBolts it outta there.

Bi-Color Tourmaline discovers an abandoned Love Cave,,, this will be useful.

Onyx just wants to go home to sleep in  a bed. Don’t we all?

Orange Amethyst wheelies away from Sodalite.

Citrine grabs a pitchfork out of her gem and chases Calcite, who just wanted some Calcium.

Color Change Sapphire constructs a shack, the glitter blood of Drusy Quartz still on her hands.

Nickel considers seeking a therapist after watching Color Change Sapphire succ the blood from Drusy Quartz until Drusy looked like a mummy.

Drusy Quartz found dead in Miami. She’s alright but she’s dead.

Meteor hums They Might be Giants new hit song, Kazoo Parade on Drusy Quartz’ Dead Body Found in Miami.

Flourite just wants some juicy chicken nuggets, but they burn and she just wants to sleep now.

Rough Blue Calcite, who bit her tongue and is somehow bandaging it.

Ogliclase and Copper decide that they’re going to hunt down these scrubs.

Gold bandages her chipped fingernail and thinks of insults she could say to Pyrite.

Color Change Sapphire just wants to go home. Mostly because she heard that that bitch Chrysocolla, who she THOUGHT she had killed 990 years ago, was found in a nursing home posing as an old lady near Clearwater Beach, FL.

Onyx tracks down and kills Amethyst, and Amethyst just accepts that she can never be The Cooler Daniel.

Emerald, Calcite, and Sunstone sleep and shifts, but only Sunstone keeps watch because honestly these Era 2 kids need their rest if they want their bones to grow properly.

Pink Tourmaline and Adventurine sleep like assholes while Pyrite has to keep watch. GOD ERA 1′S ARE SO LAZY.

Citrine rolls a 20 on dexterity and sneaks into Obsidian’s MTV crib and fucks it up. That 20 dollar bill? burned. Those fries you were saving for later? Eaten. That picture of that Gem that planted your Gem and sat and waited for you to emerge? ...Maybe don’t break that.

Orange Amethyst is recognized as The Coolest Daniel and gets some McDonalds sent to her, free of charge.

Steel has a weird dream where all her teeth fall out and Yellow Diamond’s face turned into spiders. What the fuck, Universe?! She wanted a wet dream!

Sodalite dies because of her soda-deficiency.

Bi-Color Tourmaline burns her McNuggies and just goes to bed. Honestly? She deserves it.

Nickel smells some burgers, but stays away because she’s on a diet, even tho she can’t change her physical form in that way. Shh, don’t tell her. I’m proud of her for sticking with this thing.

The sheer weight of her hair makes Rose Quartz pass out.

Steel makes a shack out of steel. Does this count as cannibalism or body horror or...?

Emerald chases Flourite because she ‘SAW HER HANGING OUT WITH KAITLYN YESTERDAY” “E-EMERALD, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!” “I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH!”

Pyrite just accepts at this point that she has all the common traits of a psychopath and decides to use that power.

Copper gets some clean water from Dasani. GODDAMMIT SHE WANTED FIJI!

Meteor steals a slingshot off of Amethyst’s shattered gem.

Obsidian recieves...a bomb.

Oglioglase is now suffering from The Thirst as well, a fate worse that death.

Orange Amethyst overhears Sunstone and Citrine talkin’ shit in the distance and makes a mental note to hack their Tumblrs later.

Color Change Sapphire camouflages herself and sets her sight on her next victim.

Pink Tourmaline and Calcite split up to look for some calcium.

Gold attacks Onyx, but she manages to somehow wrangle out of a death-grip.

Rough Blue Calcite flees from THE WAR CRIMINAL!

Adventurine smells some mighty fine health-potion cooking, but decides “Fuck it.” and walks away.

Nickel receives a hatchet from some sweaty guy watching her on his TV.

Bi-Color Tourmaline somehow ignores all the sHEER DEATH AROUND HER AND STOPS TO SMELL THE FUCKING ROSES. YES, BECAUSE YOUR BEST FRIENDS VICIOUSLY FIGHTING EACH OTHER AND KILLING ONE ANOTHER IS LESS IMPORTANT THAN ACKNOWLEDGING THE FUCKING DAISIES.

That’s all for now, folks! since I spent. A fucking. Hour. Writing this. On a school night. it’s now 2:30 AM dear christ.