#but when it comes to personality or love or respect i am very uncompromising as i said in the other post

[yeyinde]

I am binge reading your work and I love your Price characterisation so much! Can you please go into detail what you his childhood looked like and what led him to be this angry, stubborn man who is fixated on saving the world at all costs

this is basically a reinterpretation of opening Pandora's box but instead of releasing great evils, it's just me yapping non-stop about John Price whenever i get the opportunity. but i cut a lot out because it was getting too long, so this is a brief summary on what made John Price the way that he is;

re: abuse (physical, mental, emotional; of authoritative power).

Nepo-baby. Born into Military Royalty. The Price name has a lot of sway in the government. Probably lived in Hereford going up before moving to Liverpool at 18. Realistically, Price has no other career choices because I can't see Mr "threatens to hang superior officers" sitting in a cubical and expected to hit quotas without catching several charges for assault and battery when his temper gets the best of him. And it always does.

His homelife was bad (but absolutely nothing compared to Simon's). His dad was just a staunch disciplinarian groomed by the traditional values of 40s-60s England. The typical "father works to provide for his family all day and then comes home to quiet, respectable children neither seen nor heard with food already on the table waiting for him and a wife that only speaks when spoken to and only ever to agree with her husband (and a lil bit of female "orgasm"????? by god! they've brought witchcraft back to the land of her Majesty the Queen!)"

He has an angry, uncompromising father with a temper and a mother who says thinks like, "well if *you* didn't make him angry, then you wouldn't have gotten yourself a black eye."

His dad was very physically abusive to both of them. Price really tried to stick up for his mum, but that would just set his dad off even more. And afterwards, his mum would just side with his dad, anyway. But on the flipside, I think she expected Price to protect her. So when he didn't (because he's a literal child!!), she'd get angry. But she obviously can't lash out like her husband or even her child, so uses the only weapon she has to gain some semblance of control: manipulation.

Price takes pieces of both his parents. His father, the physical aggressor, and his mother, the manipulative victim. And she is a victim, very much so. But I also think she pits them against each other. Gets bored. Causes issues. But there's power in getting someone to do what you want, and that's how she takes hers.

Price catches on to her in his early teens, but that's still his mother. Even though they have a very rocky relationship, she's still the Victim in his head, even when she's whispering in his dad's ear about all the things she despises about her son. And then going to Price (after his dad does something about it - again: disciplinarian, control freak) and playing the pitiful mother subjected to her husband's tyranny and a sad, weak son who can't do a single thing to protect her when she needs him.

Price learns to manipulate from her. Emotional blackmail. Victim-complex. Gaslighting. Scapegoating. But the biggest takeaway is the way he shifts the victim-complex into heroism (esp with Gaz). They can't be the bad guys. It's a logical fallacy in his mind. They're the ones saving the world, and if the world wasn't so riddled with bad guys, with people who need projecting, then they wouldn't need to do what they do.

I think Price has a bit of animosity towards people he sees as weaker (re: his mum having to share the victimhood with her son). But this animosity can also rear as obsession. He's the only person who can save you/them/the world. And since you/they/the world can't save yourself, then you should just listen to him.

And if you don't. Well, that's going to be a pretty big problem.

Honestly on the fence about siblings. If he has any, it's probably an older sister and she's either the equivalent of Janice Soprano (minus any of the backbone and ambition) or Barbara, resigned to her life and utterly forgetful. but I kinda like the idea of him not having any siblings to weather the storm with, you know? Like, it's just him and a mother who victim blames and ignores, and he gets the brunt of his dad's anger.

He was an obnoxious kid to be around. Probably really tried to impress his dad by adopting all of his values; baby misogyny, bite-sized authoritarianism, military fiscalism/military–industrial complex, militarism, etc., before realising (earlyyyyy teens) that he hates his dad and everything he stands for (but I'm a SUCKER for letting Price suffer and I love cyclicity and generational trauma so naturally, as much as he tries to run from the ghost of his dad, it still lingers - just in different ways; the worst thing you could ever say to Price is, you're just like your father).

Turned into a moody teen in the 80s/90s. His anger is a hair trigger. Utterly uncontrollable. But by this time, he learned to hide it because his dad's way of idealing with trauma was to add more. Therapists are pseudoscience, so he taught Price that men just bury these things. And if you can't, then you should be put down like a dog.

The assessment of a man's character was entirely based on the military tests he passed. And with Price's anger, trauma, he probably shouldn't have passed the evaluations, but since his dad, his grandfather, his great-grandfather, were all military dogs, he learned how to beat it. He's also really good at manipulating people.

I think between 16-17 there was a real attempt to do something that wasn't the military and I haven't decided which one I like better but:

He gets a job (as a port worker or in a factory). The Price name has no sway here (and baby Price grew up surrounded by people who knew his family, who revered them for their service to the country, etc). If he wants to make it, it has to be by his own merit. The problem is, while he's a hard worker, his trauma (men who remind him of his father, women who are too much like his mother) causes an incredible rift between him and authority.

If his boss is a man just like his dad, then Price is a match in a tinderbox.

If he isn't, to Price (who has only just learned to hold his tongue), the idea of a nobody being in a position of power over him will also set him off.

Either way, he's doomed.

If he man is a beast that no one can stand up to, and gets away with things because he's the boss, then Price's temper would flare pretty quickly. Especially if he comes after Price. Bullies him. Belittles him. But the worst is the humiliation. He ends up beating his boss very badly, terrifying the men around him but in their fear, and how quickly they listen to him because of it, Price realises he likes it. That fear can be weaponized. Honed.

Or: same situation, but if you lean more towards Price looking out for the underdog rather than his own self-interest, then he sticks up for someone and beats his boss to protect them. Everyone's still afraid of him, but they revere him. They do what he asks. This version, he realises that respect can be weaponized.

(and if the man is not like his dad, then Price will antagonise him into action. He'd throw the first punch, and Price will retaliate. It would still go too far, but - Nepo baby, weaponized fear: the outcome would be the same.)

He gets taken into custody. The tell him his boss is not going to make it. But Price's dad exercises every ounce of power to get his son out of trouble (because this will look very bad on them), and Price leans several things which shape him as an adult: his name has a lot of power; rules and regulations and just policing won't stop bad people unless you take it into your own hands once and for all, and people listen to him and that either version of the above can be weaponized.

He'd probably take the military a bit more seriously but only because he's trying to get vengeance for himself (even if this is subconscious and he doesn't realise it). He leaves at 18. Joins. And climbs the ranks higher than his dad.

At first, there's a concerted effort to do good but something cracks. Builds. Eventually Price comes to the conclusion that he'll have to take a more hands-on approach and get them a little bloody if he wants real change.

I have a lot of thoughts of military-dog Price. But!! That's basically it.

Shaped by physical, mental, emotional abuse; leans into the poor rich kid trope slightly. It all manifests more when he climbs the ranks, gets freedom, and realises that only he can do what needs to be done.

[echo-and-dust]

a letter of gratitude to Young Royals

(warning: extremely cheesy)

in september of 2021, i watched this show for the first time, completely unaware of what it was about and simply looking for something to disrupt my boredom.

two rewatches and several internet deep dives later, i was undoubtedly held captive by the story, its characters, and creators and have been ever since. after a traumatizing experience that shoved me back in the closet earlier that summer, young royals entered my life almost exactly when i needed it.

over two and a half years was spent scrolling through beautiful analyses, breaking down over art and fics littered with more prose than they have the right to possess, even outshining many published bestsellers i am familiar with. every fandom will have its trolls, and this one is definitely not exempt, but there is no denying how special this community is with how it seemed to grow overnight and spread the impactful messages of this little show to the rest of the world, to anyone who needed to hear them. it has united people across the world, from many different walks of life, prompting discussions that i never thought i would see happening in my lifetime. it encourages people to talk about the difficult things, the uncomfortable things, so often in such a respectful manner that it can make you forget how outrage-obsessed and uncompromising the internet can be.

many, including myself, have found themselves in these characters, both good and bad, because the show encapsulates what it's truly like to be human in a way that is so full of love and compassion that you don't often find in media. in a culture so obsessed with moral perfection and complete transparency of one's personal life, it is so relieving to have something to remind us that privacy is important, that your feelings are valid, regardless of whether they are good or not. young royals forgives in a way that so much of media and online culture doesn't.

as we approach the final hour before the very last episode of the show's well-deserved three-year-long run, i wanted to use this time to express my gratitude to those who have put their heart and soul into making this work of art the sensation that it is. i cannot wait to see what these talented people have put together for us one last time, and to see how it is celebrated for years to come.

so, as my last attempt at stringing together a coherent thought before i break down crying: thank you, young royals, for helping me grow. thank you for helping me heal. thank you for teaching me to view the world more in shades of grey instead of just black and white. thank you for helping me find beauty in the mundane. thank you for helping me discover things about myself. thank you for reminding me to check my privilege, to uplift the voices of those who may not have as much. thank you for existing.

[sternvonafrika]

Can you show a few photos of what your potential crush would look like? 🐭or just describe physical features you find most attractive in men?

if i had to describe my ideal man, ideal in the sense that i know i am never gonna have a chance with someone like him, i would mention someone like paul newman or young vittorio gassman. but we can't all look like movie stars so if i have to be real and describe more common features i find attractive from an aesthetical point of view: wide shoulders, strong hands, evident jawline + cheekbones, kind eyes, i don't mind eyebags or dark circles at all i find them very cute!, i love "crooked" noses and smiles, and in general someone who is not threatening and has kind & gentle traits

but i don't really value beauty a lot when it comes to relationships, mostly because what i pay attention to is the attitude: intelligent, kind, compassionate, honest, respectful, supportive, calm (as someone who hardly ever gets angry but throws temper tantrums every time he does i hate people who lose their temper like i do), has to share my interests or at least be interested in listening + someone who sees and perceives love in the same way i do (which is not..... uhh...... easy to find)

if you want to look around and see other people i like a lot out there just google: august wittgenstein, volker bruch, luca marinelli, george mackay, max schimmelpfenning, alessandro borghi, josh o'connor, louis hofmann, tom schilling

[lilith-anne-archie]

Is it always awkward to start conversing at all? Maybe. But I stopped caring about the awkwardness of things. Embracing the awkwardness is very freeing.

Sometimes you don’t know how to start a conversation, or how best to bring up a topic. So you don’t start it, don’t talk, don’t write about it.

But then if you don’t do that, how do you move forward one step at a time? How do you build connections, how do you develop your thoughts? How do you find the next book you want to read that will help answer some of your questions?

I’m starting this side blog because I’ve arrived at a point where I want to document and share my journey. Consider this blog as the thread on which I will be stringing beads of thoughts in the form of posts, book reviews, and so on.

Like a rosary but minus the religious dimension of it, this blog will become a space I’ll return to, to go through all the beads again as well as add new ones.

So, what will this journey be about? Education and empowerment, ungovernability, direct action, reflections around anarchism, disobedience, and growth.  But also about experiences that challenge the status quo like queerness, including polyamory.

And yes I will say queer. I will say the words that some consider slurs (and that once were) but that the community reclaimed and now proudly own. I want frankness, I reject political correctness particularly if it aims to erase years upon years of activists’ struggle and history.

Finally, this is the start of a personal journey. I won’t do it for validation. I’m also not doing it so that people feel entitled to challenge who I am because I’m sharing my journey here. I am what I am, and I promote love, respect, and self-respect. I listen and will not judge unless the concepts mentioned above are trampled. Because I am uncompromising when it comes to anyone experiencing disrespect and oppression from others and structures in place. 

I have a voice that I won’t quiet down, I’m human, I’m angry, I’m joyful, I’m hopeful and I am not perfect. But I have guts and inside my guts nest values I am proud of and that I want to unravel, reflect on, and expand.

So welcome you who pass by. Maybe you’ll stay around, maybe you won’t, but thanks for stopping by all the same.

- lilith-anne-archie

[toujourspur13]

The Black family / Walburga Black / canon.

As I said before I do not care that much about canon/fanon/headcanon because transformative works by definition include a wide variety of different interpretations. However, I am forever perplexed when I see uncompromising opinions on the Black family - particularly the unwavering certainty that Sirius Black’s parents were psychotic abusers. All personal opinions aside - why is this so popular?

I mean - it’s absolutely ok to headcanon this version and to play with it - but saying 'don’t you dare say they did not physically and emotionally abuse Sirius' is a little strong, isn’t it?

This is a mystery to me. So…let’s discuss my favourite subject…Again.

Let’s stick to the facts. The frequently cited things proving the abuse in the Black family are as follows:

Sirius said his parents were awful maniacs (pureblood ideology)

he ran away from home

he was severely depressed in OoTP

Kreacher

Portrait

So…when you say that Sirius’s parents were abusive…you mean exactly what? These people got cold feet when they saw the real nature of Voldemort - I guess it somehow implies that they did not share his methods…that they were against violence as a tool to get purebloods in charge.

But then it usually goes this way: ‘well at least he was verbally and emotionally abused by his family’ - but is it so? Is this based on the portrait of Sirius's mother? She insulted strangers who took over her house and her runaway son - how does this prove anything about how Sirius and Regulus were raised and treated when they were kids? I agree it’s rather impolite - jkr did a good job showing how purebloods perceived others ( those below them) -but in all honesty, this has very little to do with Sirius and his childhood.

Why to make Sirius a victim at all? - c’mon he was tougher than this, he spent 12 years in Azkaban; are you actually saying that a portrait throwing insults at everyone is worse? I doubt that. And is it such a surprise that a mother who lost her son (that said son actually ran away and abandoned his duty) would be that furious at him when seeing him again...even if it’s only a portrait...I believe it to be a rather unpleasant experience for a parent when a child runs away.

We already talked about the portrait a lot - I don’t even want to mention it here- - I feel we should rather pay more attention to the fact that Sirius himself was not an angel.

I am not saying the colourful vocabulary of Walburga Black should be used…but Sirius himself upon seeing Snape  immediately  recognised his weakness and went for it without any hesitation …we are talking about Sirius who in fact was quite a renowned bully ( I mean - we know for a fact that from time to time Sirius and James got carried away)…

And it was Sirius who sent Snape to meet and chat with a real werewolf (yes, I agree - he was not thinking this through - he probably was just vexed and fed up with Snape and thought he wouldn’t go there, would get cold feet or idk run away…But it actually changes nothing. If a drunken driver hits someone it will be 100% his fault whether he means it or not. Whether he is in a fragile mental state or not - such situations are definite. It’s the same with Sirius - even if he did not mean anything bad he should have understood the cost of his mistake - all teenagers make silly things but not all of them send their classmate to meet a werewolf - James thought it not a very good idea as I recall… -

So we see that Sirius was not an angel from the start and I can hardly believe he was a victim by nature. His behaviour loudly manifested that he used to get what he wanted with no thought of the consequences.

And all those pictures of bikini-clad girls on the walls in his room prove that he was quite a spoiled boy who had nothing to fear from mum and dad. Harry himself noticed «Sirius seemed to have gone out of his way to annoy his parents». All this shows that Sirius was not afraid of his parents at all. What kind of masochist would suffer for motorbike posters? That would be ridiculous.

Let’s move to Kreacher: If Sirius’s mother had been a monster why even mention her heart?  JKR wrote this for a purpose and this heavily implies that Sirius's situation was never meant to be ‘the abusive heartless parents vs the poor helpless victim’.  

The fact that Sirius ran away and hence broke his mother’s heart says against the popular idea that he was not loved by his family, that he was always the second one, that they abused him. I’m 100% certain that Kreacher told the truth in that scene. Why would he say something like this if it were not the truth - something like…that his beloved mistress having been so upset over Sirius running away that it broke her heart. Just tell me one reason that would have justified such a lie - why to say this at all?

Then this: “Leave?” Sirius smiled bitterly and ran a hand through his long, unkempt hair. “Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal … my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them … that’s him.”…. “He was younger than me,” said Sirius, “and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded.”

I’ve already said it before - this ‘better son than me’ is exactly what insecure 14-year old kids like to say. Well...he’s a bit older but it’s not as if he had a life and a chance to mature. Moreover, I don’t know if it comes as a great shock but a lot of teenagers like to badmouth their parents…usually, it involves something like ‘those bloody uptight retrogrades know nothing of the real world’ (it fades away when they get closer to thirty).

To be serious, I find that it’s just another example of similarities between Sirius and his mother. They clearly did not know what it means to be composed, polite, and respectful. Yeah…I think that, on the whole, parents are owed their children’s respect (unless they are completely inadequate - somehow I don’t believe this was the case). Someone should teach both of them what mutual respect means. Anyway, there is nothing in this quote that says that Sirius was subjected to any forms of abuse - it’s about how Sirius justified his running away,  how he saw the situation.

There’s also the fact that Sirius was incredibly unhappy because he was back at his childhood home and having to spend time around anything that reminded him of his family: “Hasn’t anyone told you? This was my parents’ house,” said Sirius. “But I’m the last Black left, so it’s mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — about the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.” Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded”.

Here it comes…the severe depression that makes people question the severity of his abuse… I have thought a lot about this because it is the reason why some consider ‘the abusive blacks' canon while others believe it was more of a tragedy of the family rather than the banal brutality.

Of course, Sirius was upset in that house - but I don’t think he suffered the memories of his unhappy childhood - I think he suffered from the strong feeling of guilt. Being in that house meant an everyday reminder that he was a failure. And it’s not even a lie. If you look at his whole life you’ll see that he literally failed everyone in his life: he failed James and Lily - they were dead and he unwillingly became the reason. It was his plan that turned everything into a tragedy.

And, to some extent, he failed Harry- he was not around him like James and Lily would have wanted. Sirius did not give him the real family - he only promised they'd be the one «when it’s all over».

And finally - he failed his parents, his brother, his own family.

Is it possible to live with so much guilt in your heart?

I don't think that Sirius completely forgot who he was born to be. If the family keeps traditions and can trace its existence back in centuries you can't shake it off even if you want. I doubt Sirius switched it off just because he had griffindor friends. He was the last Black - it is tragically poetic that he was once the hope of his family and then this family died with him. If Sirius had heart (and I truly believe he had a heart) he knew exactly what it meant to be trapped in the house that represented the death of his family. A constant reminder  that he was the last one.  

“The others’ hushed voices were giving Harry an odd feeling of foreboding; it was as though they had just entered the house of a dying person”. 

I think that the scene when he threw his father's ring away - he threw it away because it was all over for his family. It was the end of the dynasty - and for him it was all over long before he met Bellatrix for the last time.

Well, I admit Sirius' situation is open for wide interpretation but I don’t think the abusive black household is a canon thing - of course, it’s fanon. It makes Sirius a hero who broke the chains when in fact he ended up being a victim of his own life.

You know, it always seems strange to me that fandom when discussing Walburga usually overlooks the simple truth of life - that even if you are clever enough and mean good for your loved ones it is still possible to end up on the losing side, on the dark side.  However, mistakes don't automatically turn humans into monsters.

To some extent Sirius’s story represents the consequences of war.  No-one is protected; the whole families could be wiped off the face of the earth. It’s a simple yet profound idea. It correlates with the main idea of hp books far better than the ‘abusive psychopaths’ (there are already Voldemort and Bellatrix - there is no-one who can beat them in this department).

All I say - it’s okay to imagine them bad if you want- your right - but don’t write everywhere that it’s canon because it is not.There is no need for such inflexibility especially when it comes to the fandom - a place where everyone should be welcomed and their views on the books be respected.

[panharmonium]

okay.  

i realize this might be a kind of a weird thing for me to devote time to when i’m one episode from the end but honestly?  i just have to.  i have to.  i have a longer piece of meta in this vein that i’ll deal with some other time when i’m less focused on the end of season 5, but given the content of the last couple episodes i just - cannot restrain myself.  the stunning level of deliberate, unnecessary cruelty i witnessed in that one moment yesterday (guess i was WRONG omg i STILL can’t believe i heard that with my own two ears...i probably have the lowest expectations of arthur pendragon out of anybody in this fandom but even i was shocked) - it tipped me right over the edge.  it threw me for an entire loop.  

so, what i have to do right now is take a second to acknowledge the one character who a) predicted this bullshit a long time ago, and b) could have been relied upon to react to it appropriately, that is to say by punching arthur pendragon in the mouth.

fig. A: my Son, ‘I Would Sell Arthur Pendragon to Satan for One Corn Chip’ 

i love him.  

i know we only saw him once.  i don’t care.  he’s the only non-villain across five entire seasons of this show who ever told arthur pendragon to get fucked, and that makes him an absolute hero.

this kid snuck up on me and became my most beloved minor character.  when i first met him, i liked him a normal amount, but i wasn’t as deeply invested in him as i am now.  it wasn’t until i got a little further along in the show and started to see how truly painful merlin’s situation becomes without a friend who knows him that i started thinking about him again, and realized how much i actually appreciated him.

so.  will.

will occupies a...fairly unique position in merlin’s circle.  all of merlin’s other friends eventually become knights, or become queen, and they all hop aboard the arthur pendragon train as they get deeper entwined in camelot’s renaissance.  even gwaine, who is a little iffy about arthur in the very beginning, becomes as loyal a knight as camelot has ever seen, and he’s just as invested in camelot’s flourishing as anyone.  and i don’t say this to throw shade at him, or at lancelot, or anybody; those two in particular have absolutely always been true friends to merlin, regardless of the vows they took to camelot.  but there is just something to be said for like - merlin does not have a single person in his life right now who cares about him without also being beholden to arthur.  gwen and gaius and all of the knights are sworn to serve and protect the king.  they are all fully aboard the arthur pendragon train, and on board with merlin’s mission to aid arthur and keep him safe.  gwen, gwaine, gaius, lancelot - even merlin’s own mother is on that train, when she tells merlin he has to go back to camelot at the end of 1.10, saying “you belong at arthur’s side.  i’ve seen how much he needs you.”  

these people would not argue with merlin over the merits of sacrificing things for arthur, because they, too, would do anything for their king.  they wouldn’t necessarily challenge merlin on statements like “his life is worth a hundred of mine,” because they understand what merlin means.  they’re on that same page.  

and that’s nice and all, but given recent events (and forthcoming events, i suspect) i suppose i just am feeling.  a little tired of that.  

i’m tired of the arthur pendragon train.  i want to get off.  i want MERLIN to get off.  and the only other person in the world who ever believed that merlin deserved to get off the arthur pendragon train was will.

all the most recent episodes i’m watching are highlighting for me once again how little merlin settles for in his life.  he can’t be known.  he can’t be seen.  he can’t be accepted.  he can’t be listened to.  he can’t be believed.  he can’t be respected.  he can’t be safe.  he can’t be loved.  he can’t say ‘i am sorry that i can’t go with you to this place’ (for the first time in HOW many years?) without receiving a deliberately nasty, cutting slap across the face.

and we try to rationalize this away; we try to look at the good parts (and yes, there are good parts, of course there are good parts; of course arthur and merlin care about each other) but the ultimate truth is that arthur isn’t merlin’s real friend, not yet.  he thinks he is.  but he isn’t.  a real friend isn’t someone who might kill you if they knew who you were.  a real friend isn’t someone who makes you feel like you have to pretend to be someone you’re not.  

you cannot be loved if you aren’t safe. 

the only person who ever acknowledges this dynamic is will.  will sees the parts of arthur that merlin tries not to look at, and will loves merlin enough to say ‘this situation you are in is messed up.’  he’s the only one, across five seasons of this show, who ever comes right out and says that merlin is fooling himself when it comes to this ‘friendship.’  merlin might have other people who care about him, later, but all of them are as wrapped up in arthur’s well-being as merlin is.  they don’t tell merlin he deserves better.  they don’t tell merlin ‘this is shitty.  this is a shitty situation you’re settling for.  you deserve more than this.’

five seasons, and will is the only person who ever says this.  merlin’s own mother won’t tell him this.

i’ve been thinking about will kind of a lot as i watch these episodes.  

i think...i think will would lose his mind if he could see merlin at the end of this show.  at ANY point in this show, practically.  he would be so devastatingly angry.  if he ever heard “his life is worth a hundred of mine” come out of merlin’s mouth - i mean.  he’d kill somebody.  he'd thump merlin upside the head and then go kill somebody.

will was only ever in this for merlin.  he didn’t save arthur’s life because he’d started to like the guy; he did it because that’s just who he is.  he saw someone about to get shot and his first instinct was to get in the way.  he’s not riding the arthur pendragon train, and he’s certainly not riding the camelot train, but he still makes sure merlin can go safely back to the citadel, because for some unfathomable reason, merlin seems to feel that it’s important.

because - and this is so important here - will doesn’t even know anything about merlin’s ‘destiny.’  they didn’t have time to talk about dragons or destinies or any of that.  all will knows is that it’s important to merlin, for whatever reason, and that’s enough to make it important to will.  even though he doesn’t understand it.  even though he doesn’t agree with it.  even though he personally thinks arthur’s a loser.  he does what he does so that merlin can have what he wants, so that merlin can be safe and happy in the city of his choice.

SAFE and HAPPY.  and merlin isn’t either of those things.  merlin has never been less safe than he is now.  and merlin hasn’t been happy for a very long time.

will would be rolling over in his grave if he could see merlin now.  he would have fought against the sort of...slow self-immolation we see merlin surrendering himself to here every step of the way.  will told a prince to fuck off in front of the entire population of ealdor; he wouldn’t have any qualms about telling ‘destiny’ to get stuffed, either.  and i find myself missing that single-minded devotion, that uncompromising affirmation of merlin’s intrinsic worth, as opposed to merlin’s importance as a prophesied figure out of myth, as the skies darken over merlin’s head and i see him getting ready to (i think) do something that would send will into an absolute rage.  

none of merlin’s friends or family have ever wanted him to suffer, but will was the only one who saw where this was going, a long, long time ago.  he knew from the beginning that it wasn’t right.  and like...people can complain about him refusing to jump on board the arthur+merlin ship all they want, but the reason he doesn’t get on that boat is because he’s always been captain and sole passenger of the HMS Merlin, and he is the only one who has ever understood that these two boats, with the way the world works right now, just can’t sail together.  so much would have to change first.

so like...i miss this kid.  i really do.  and i think merlin misses him, too, but not in a way that he can afford to let himself think about.  how can a person in merlin’s position afford to remember someone who always thought that merlin’s happiness and safety were more important than anything, when merlin has, by necessity, spent all these years forcing himself to finally accept that his own happiness and safety will always have to be his last priority?  how can he handle being reminded of a time when someone unconditionally believed that merlin deserved to live in this world and be happy, not because of what merlin could do or what great purpose he would serve, but simply because he is.  just because he exists.  because he’s enough as he is.  he matters just as he is.  he deserves to be safe and happy just because he is, not because of what he can do for his majesty the prince.

i don’t think someone in merlin’s position can afford to think like that, especially now.  i think it’s like - when you’re overwhelmed or stressed or upset and you’re holding it together but then somebody does one simple nice thing for you or gives you a hug and that’s when you lose it and start bawling - it feels like that.  i don’t think merlin could handle being gentled in that way.  i think it would be similar to when gwaine tells him “not arthur” - that inability to conceive of somebody who only cares about him, who puts him first.  i think if merlin allowed himself to remember that there was in fact a time in his life when he was someone’s first priority, if he remembered what that felt like - he would crack right down the middle.  

i think if someone were to really remind him of what he deserves from this life, to remind him of what he used to hope he would one day have, he would never be able to do what he thinks he needs to do.

anyway.  

the point of all this is just that as i enter the very end of this show and see merlin still - still - being deliberately gutted by someone who is supposed to love him, someone for whom merlin has been totally willing to give up his life a hundred times over, despite never being recognized and never being accepted and never being free - it is making me appreciate even more keenly the very few people in merlin’s life who chose not to treat him that way.  the very, very few people who knew him and loved him just the way he was.  and in particular it makes me appreciate will, who never had eyes for anybody but merlin, and who, uniquely among merlin’s friends, could not care less about arthur pendragon if you paid him.

after the last episode, i’m just really feeling his energy.  

[elisaenglish]

I Only Hold Convictions

There is no preface that quite reflects my conflict here. I am no lover of Ayn Rand, either literally or symbolically, and yet there are aspects of her that cannot – I’d even hazard must not – be discarded wholesale or, indeed, be denied. By her own admission in The Romantic Manifesto, she writes:

“The fact that one agrees or disagrees with an artist’s philosophy is irrelevant to an esthetic appraisal of his work qua art.”

It would also be somewhat naive to dismiss in its entirety Rand’s contribution to modern rational thought or the central tenets of Objectivism as it stands in relation to processes of logic and the pursuit of our own happiness. Flawed as her belief system is overall, there is – as with any text – worth in the exploration. Rand continues:

“One does not have to agree with an artist (nor even enjoy him) in order to evaluate his work. In essence, an objective evaluation requires that one identifies the artist’s theme, the abstract meaning of his work (exclusively by identifying the evidence contained in the work and allowing no other, outside considerations), then evaluate the means by which he conveys it— i.e., taking his theme as criterion, evaluate the purely esthetic elements of the work, the technical mastery (or lack of it) with which he projects (or fails to project) his view of life.”

When it comes to Rand, problematic is most often the “view” readers step away with. From her axiomatic starting point of “existence exists” through to the gravely cynical conclusion where selfishness is deemed high virtue, altruism despicable vice and capitalism the only sane socio-economic model, she adheres strictly – and indulgently – to categorical dichotomies; the black/white and either/or thinking characteristic of young minds yet to encounter the complexities of nuance. Technical weakness is almost by the by; the cumbersome surface of the prose insignificant when we consider the allegorical and anagogical deficits. Further distaste might also be attributed to the fact, especially with regard to Atlas Shrugged, that this is very much by the writer’s design.

But to close our eyes and wish away the horror? The text becomes no less potent in its ostracised state. Indeed, it could be argued that exclusionary approaches amplify meanings – often ones that were but an unsavoury blip before controversy sauntered in. And for us, too, we must beware. “An artist reveals his naked soul in his work,” Rand writes, “—and so do you, gentle reader, when you respond to it.”

Which, perhaps, goes some way towards explaining why I’m taking this discomforting trip through the literary wilderness, light years or so from my natural habitat. And political persuasions aside – and I would wholly endorse this when in pursuit of a truly critical reading – Rand deserves to be part of the current cultural conversation, not least of all because she does ignite the argument and all of its unresolved facets.

And I’m going to say it: Rand isn’t all bad. You have to study beyond a cursory glance and set aside the less palatable veins of pathological self-interest that pervade much of her oeuvre. However, to cast her in a soulless light would be an erroneous misrepresentation of a woman who also expressed that “love and art” are not merely a “special province” of our existence but, in every way, our “sense of life.”

So it is to love I turn, love that Rand defines as inextricably linked to character. As she explains in The Virtue of Selfishness:

“To love is to value. Only a rationally selfish man, a man of self-esteem, is capable of love—because he is the only man capable of holding firm, consistent, uncompromising, unbetrayed values. The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”

Not, then, love as “sacrifice” but more as noble desire – dignified and discerning. Five years earlier, in a 1959 interview with Mike Wallace, she says:

“Because when you are asked to love everybody indiscriminately. That is to love people without any standard. To love them regardless of whether they have any value or virtue, you are asked to love nobody.”

She describes an impetus to choose, to give affection based on mutual respect, a regard of self in relation to other:

“You love people, not for what you do for them, or what they do for you. You love them for their values, their virtues. You don't love causes. You don't love everybody... You love only those who deserve it. Man has free will. If a man wants love he should correct his flaws, and he may deserve it. But he cannot expect the unearned.”

I’m not here to posit that Rand is faultless in her appraisal of romantic love, but she offers something concrete, something – dare I say – honourable from yesterday to consider today. Not the blanket philosophy nor, in her own words, any “faith.” But a mature alternative that acknowledges not just how we devote ourselves to each other, but why.

As Rand offers in her 1964 Playboy interview:

“[Selfless love] would have to mean that you derive no personal pleasure or happiness from the company and the existence of the person you love, and that you are motivated only by self-sacrificial pity for that person’s need of you. I don’t have to point out to you that no one would be flattered by, nor would accept, a concept of that kind. Love is not self-sacrifice, but the most profound assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you need the person you love, and that is the greatest compliment, the greatest tribute you can pay to that person.”

And on that note, I must concede that Rand might be right – for love is not indifference. Nor is it, for me, simply a matter of material pleasure. If I return to Atlas Shrugged, there is resonance albeit in the brevity of places I had to work hard to find. But nonetheless, if intimacy “forces [a man] to stand naked in spirit,” I may also feel the same, relinquish myself to “the sum of [my] fundamental convictions.” Rand writes:

“[A man] will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience... a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer — because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement.”

Over sixty years since its publication, the rampant anti-feminism may be forgiven in part. But my point is not in the ideological line; it is to return to the truth of art, of life. Though it isn’t meant to work both ways, it does. The reading is mine, and I love – sometimes in the darkest of Rand’s “metaphysical” mirrors.

[greylunar]

I have a house lore question. Would you agree that Gryffindors and Ravenclaws tend to be more ideologically motivated and that Slytherins and Hufflepuffs tend to be more... personally motivated? Not sure I am phrasing this right but basically: Gryffindor/Ravenclaw: This is my cause, I believe in it. Slytherin/Hufflepuff: This is my person, I believe on them. Just as a general rule, not true in every case. (1/2)

Also, Gryffindors and Slytherins are more devoted to their cause/person whereas Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws are more likely to be able to be able to reevaluate their standing with the person or cause if they feel they are no longer totally aligned with it/them. Again, just as a rule of thumb. (2/2)

I wrote an insanely long answer to this so more under the break, warning there’s a LOT of like, psychoanalysis down here and a lot of its very personal and about core aspects so like please proceed with caution and PLEASE ask me to tag if I forget something

Super weird note to start this off with but did you have an icon of a dog like two days ago because if that was you it looked like my dog and made me really happy (I love the aesthetic of this one too, A+ design)

Anyways! I do have A Lot of thoughts on this topic in particular, and I’m glad you asked because I know that my interpretation of the houses verges more into “Casper has a specific idea of the sort of personality spectrums he would align into these broad JK-based categories” than “canon” haha c: My “rule of thumb” for causes/ideologies is this:

Hufflepuff: “This is my belief.” This is what is good, what is right, what I know I should fight for and stand up for when the time comes. I will stand by this belief, because a part of me wholly excepts it as fact and uncompromising. I may, however, not always be able to stand up for this belief, as there are situations where I have to evaluate what will be the safest for me and the people I love. But you will have a Hard Time changing a hufflepuff’s mind on something they believe unless you can prove to them that its hurting people and somehow in the wrong. In that case, a new belief is formed to account for this information. Now, here’s where people (in I guess my version of house lore) tend to misjudge hufflepuffs. If one of their People repeatedly acts against their fundamental beliefs, they will either A) fail to remain one of that hufflepuff’s People and get dropped from that sort of list or B) just,,, badger them with facts/reasoning/their opinion until either the hufflepuff changes their mind or they change the Hufflepuff. (Side note, but on how Puffs handle ending relationships of any kind with folks: Hufflepuffs tend to,,, ‘ghost’ toxic people because of their uncompromisable nature on these very core beliefs. A hufflepuff will often give someone a thousand and one second chances until they realize that person either refuses to or is completely unable to accommodate one of their core definitions of good/justice/kindness/personhood and then usually hufflepuffs just kinda bounce. They often struggle with conflict in an overarching sense and, to put it in a Puff’s terms for avoiding a person they couldn’t handle being around anymore “Damn, wish I could just like, disappear into the woods in Oregon somewhere and get a dog and not have to think about this and my friend Tim could make a true crime podcast about having known me.” This is normally a MOMENTOUSLY hard decision for a Puff (i mean yall get it its the house of loyalty) but its very key that Hufflepuffs don’t align themselves with people, they align themselves with beliefs or personal truths. When push comes to shove, the loyalty a Puff has is often to the concept of goodness and kindness and the Concept of People rather than clinging to a specific individual if they directly oppose those beliefs)

Slytherins: “This is my person/these are my people.” Slytherins are a house of change, and their belief systems are mostly fluid (often based on social rules, for example, “I know people don’t like it or get hurt when these types of things are said, so I will now no longer say things like this from now on” OR alternatively “I am Very Aware that acting like this makes people vaguely unnerved, and I Am Choosing To Act Like This Continuously because I am using it to separate myself from others/people deserve it/god wouldn’t that be hilarious”). Slytherins don’t have a lot of ‘fundamental beliefs’ in a way that at least they would refer to as fundamental beliefs, our lovely snake friends often struggle with knowing themselves and defining themselves rigidly enough to label them like that. In a,,, slightly depressing note some common ones are “I have to earn my worth” and “other people deserve more than me.” Hey Slytherins, I don’t remember where I heard this, but worth is a capitalist concept fed to you by corporations and you are inherently human and therefore loved and important and deserve the world. That all said, what Slytherins do not waiver from their people. Slytherin friends will text you three years after you last talked because you posted something vaguely sad on Instagram and they wanna make sure you’re good. Slytherin partners and friends will love you with all of them, the whole of their being. If someone is mean to me, my Slytherin friends will end them, and I have to be like “bro I’m not even mad, you’re being mad for me.” Slytherins don’t ghost their People, they will drag your ass through the mud until you are healthy or By God They Will Fist Fight Your Mental Illness Themselves. In this way, Slytherins are a lot like Hufflepuffs. The problem lies in when Slytherins find they don’t have any more belief or energy left in their stores to drag themselves up too. Perhaps now is the time to realize you should be one of the People you will fight for too.

Gryffindors: “This is my cause/this is a fact” I’m not going to touch too much on the “here is my ten-step plan to save the world, step one is I Do It” Gryffindors, because I think we’re all familiar with that concept of them. Again, Gryffindors will join the Peace Corps, hufflepuffs will give the person who needs cash twenty dollars if they see them, its a scope thing. What I want to dive into with Gryffindors is the Stubborn Bastard Energy that we know and love them for (I do legitimately mean that as a compliment). Gryffindors RARELY and I’m talking Borderline Never bend or leave behind a fundamental belief once they’ve established it. Gryffs often assume that these beliefs are inherent, they would not be themselves if they were not Certain about this, and therefore that certainty is essential to who they are. Therefore Gryffs deal in personal truths, or things they have decided are facts, pillars that do not change. You will want to punch your Gryffindor best friend sometimes because they put something in their head when they were six because of what someone on the playground said and now they live by that and sometimes physically struggle with processing contradictory information. This can be great, if a Gryff internalizes something like “I should do no harm” or “I will Fight A Bully” but has more frustrating consequences when its something like “If someone does something bad they are irredeemable, and I should never again respect them.” For Gryffs, sometimes the best thing to ask yourself is “wait, Why do I think that, and are there any cases that are exceptions to these rules.” But fundamentally, Gryffs often are the ones to save the world because they already believe it is a fact that they will, and that they should.

Ravenclaws: “This is complicated/This should be seen from all sides” and THEN “I’m about to end this mans whole career over this” Ravenclaws are such a fun house for this question. Ravenclaws often have a sort of information gathering stage before they even consider the idea of having an opinion in their head. Ravenclaws want to make sure they know everything they can about a cause/an issue/a person before they make that Final Call of verbalizing or standing by something, because a very serious fundamental fear for Ravenclaws is being embarrassed. I don’t mean to minimize that or invalidate it in anyway, a lot of Ravenclaws would rather be dropped in a pit of [insert distasteful creature here} than have the shame in their minds of being caught on the wrong side of an argument, without all the facts, or unprepared for a thorough discussion. Ravenclaws in this information gathering stage will often say things like “I’m not sure to be honest, I haven’t looked into it that much” or even “I don’t really like to have opinions on matters like that because I don’t think I could ever know enough to represent what I should correctly.” THAT SAID. That’s phase one. But y’all if a Ravenclaw Decides, even without acknowledging they have, a Raven Decides. From anything from “this 18th century poet was a lesbian and you simply will not convince me I’m wrong, here is a list of reasons why I’m right” to “So Determinism exists, and I fundamentally believe that, I am fascinated on what you think about Free Will though,” Ravenclaws are the probably the most complex on this subject inherently because of how much they want to make sure they know the truth. Ravenclaws will re-evaluate their beliefs, but if the information you’re bringing to the table isn’t valid enough to hold up against their previous evidence, there’s not a whole lot you’ll be able to do about it. Ravens will struggle if asked to take a stance before this phase though, so friends, please remember that no one is ever going to remember if you raised your hand and said something a little less intelligent in high school English than you would have liked other than you. It is more than okay for you to forget that too.

[hidetothink]

Hey, I need to vent to a stranger, if that's okay? I was dating this genderist & I told her early on about my views. Weeks later she picked a fight about it again. She basically said everyone's bisexual & homosexuals like me are mean-spirited bigots. We broke up. I'm torn up over it because as long as we avoided the topic, things were good! I'm in quarantine & I miss having someone to talk to/flirt with. But I keep replaying our conversation & I get angry over the homophobia. :( Idk what to do.

Continued: I just feel like I've made my already tiny dating pool tinier by being uncompromising on this topic. I wanna reach out 'cause I miss her, but I'm so genuinely hurt by the things she said. Any advice, friend?

-----------

I’ve had an incredibly similar experience with my ex. When we didn’t talk about the elephant in the room, things were “good.” If I didn’t say anything about his heterosexual friends calling themselves gay, things were “good.” If I didn’t vent to him about feeling buried alive by “progressive” homophobia, things were “good”

But really, IS that good?

How good is a relationship where your partner isn’t someone you can vent to about homophobia in ALL its forms? How good is a relationship when your partner, even quietly and passively, believes something so fundamentally opposed to your well-being and dignity?

I had to ask myself those questions a lot before I could reconcile that my ex (sweet, funny, and energizing) was also homophobic, stubborn, and hurtful. If I separated between the “good times” and “bad times,” it became harder to accept the WHOLE person. And that whole person is not compatible with me. Not if I want a healthy relationship, self-respect, and allyship with fellow gay men and lesbians

I can only speak for myself, but I think the same can be said with your ex. It’s a very difficult experience and I can’t begin to express how sorry I am for the pain you’re going through. Many friends told me to just write my ex off because of his beliefs, but I know it’s not really THAT easy

But I still think you made the right choice. Compromising on something like this leads to more pain down the road

If this person genuinely changes their beliefs and drops the homophobia (and that was the only issue), I would say give it a try! But as long as you know this person won’t unconditionally support you as a homosexual, there is no amount of positive qualities that can make them healthy for you

Being a lesbian or gay man with self-respect today DOES limit our dating pool IMO. And I don’t think it’s helpful to deny that. However, I also believe that this issue won’t remain divisive forever. More and more lesbians and gay men will wake up to homophobia

Also, while it’s easier said than done, we don’t have to be defined by our relationships. I think being gay comes with a heavy drive to finally have the love we’re often denied or demonized for. But relationships are also hard work and don’t solve the internal issues we sometimes seek them out for

I’m right here with you in the frustration that sometimes comes with singleness, but I still encourage us both to have hope and never compromise in respecting ourselves and other homosexuals. Even if that makes dating more difficult <3

If you ever want to vent, please don’t hesitate to message (anon or direct)

[teacherintransition]

Go it Alone?

During this transition of life from teacher to seeker of dreams, it is very much a solitary trek fraught with missteps and rethinking.

If you’re just heading for the rocker, your choice, easy... if you are making a life change, the supportive partner from the old life is a valuable treasure.

The day in Nacogdoches is magnificent; 73 degrees, brilliant sunshine, bright blue sky, a gentle ten mph breeze making the leaves engage in a graceful dance ... it is an almost perfect day. Unlike the two previous days of gray, gloomy rain which did nothing to motivate the writer in me to put pen to paper; that phrase is antiquated, but sounds so much more lofty in tone than, “putting keyboard to screen.”

My thoughts these last two days have been occupied with what I would usually be doing as a teacher for the previous 30 years. The closing down process of a school year is almost instinctual at this point, except I’m not doing it this time. I feel very out of place missing the emotional state and process that is so memorable to a teacher. No, not the obligatory jamming of Alice Cooper’s, “School’s Out for Summer” out of every school PA system nationwide, which is pretty damn cool. It is one of the reaffirming times that a teacher loves, the visible achievement of making it through the year, seeing kids meet goals and surpass them, the establishing of bonds with young people that will last a lifetime, the camaraderie with colleagues, the farewell to those moving on or retiring ... retiring ... the transition. Truly feeling out of place and time. Despite the braggadocio of so many who proclaim, “I ain’t ever lookin back” ... go forth I suppose, but if you were in education for the “right” reasons you can’t help but look back and wonder. If you don’t ... even just a little, why did you become a teacher in the first place? Ah, I digress... onward and forward with ye vaunted transition.

Many wonder, I did, what makes the transition easier? I’ve discussed ad infinitum the need for a plan, activity, a purpose... of being able to rest (a little bit) on your laurels and find yourself. As a means of a cooperative, communal working through being a dedicated educator to a retired seeker of self actualization; I feel that all aspects are up for examination. I cautiously broach this topic because it somewhat treads upon the grounds of relationship advice. I’m happily married and it was NOT an easy road without potholes and obstacles. Painful, difficult, heartbreaking, frustrating at times yes; but any successful point is only achieved through such struggle. Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Brent and Kim Rich... you’ve overcome raising three boys, a mortgage, being overdrawn, personal struggles and you’ve reached your 34th anniversary... smooth sailing here on out. Except the arduous process of getting “mature,” empty nesting and the sad passing of family from the previous generation.... AND ... Brent is retiring! Instant gut check. All I have is personal experience, anecdotal observations and arbitrary wisdom that may or may not apply to you the reader.... it also falls under the umbrella of “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!”

The relationship with your partner is a vital consideration; in for a penny...in for a pound. If your marriage(s) have made it this far, the “R word”... retirement is a joint venture, and, for that matter, a venture that your kids will have input regarding. You might be thinking, “I ANSWER TO NO ONE,” or “I’VE EARNED THIS ... I DESERVE THIS!” Silly rabbit... to quote Clint Eastwood (I love doing that), “deserves got nuthin to do with it,” as you’ll find out.* As I write this, there are three friends whose retirement plans have just become victims of a monkey wrench. I’d be foolish as would my wife if we didn’t know that destiny turns on a dime. “No man is an island entirely of itself. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind,” brilliantly stated by John Donne. ** Now that the intangibles have been addressed, let’s delve into more concrete realities.

You and your spouse, partner, soul mate, fellow traveler must be somewhat on the same page and hopefully have been for a number of years leading up to this decision. If you are uncompromising... then expect fallout from spouses, children, friends and family... not total or irrevocable or permanent... but maybe. Being uncompromising with the intangibles is pointless... being uncompromising with the others in your life; expect a price to be paid. We are all in this together and friends and family are often by choice. On the other side of the coin, friends and family should be somewhat accommodating to your dreams... fate and destiny may not give a whit ... but you’re loved ones should as you should to them.

Let’s move away from unpleasant, confrontational possibilities to those built on a partnership that didn’t grow apart but grew together. Long before you hit your 50’s, this path of common goals should have always been the objective. Raising a family and navigating careers should be an enriching experience, but all too often it can be the reason a couple grows apart. Hisham Matar’s book, A Month in Siena, continues to be a treasure trove of wisdom. He offers this warning for couples and people in general who allow themselves to grow apart:

Growing apart has a consequence which will surely follow. What lies beyond are longings in nostalgia and this needs to be accounted for what it is.... if, what the people thinking here is a true hell is not; the true hell is realizing you are not being recognized by those closest to you.***

If you intentionally keep the commonality of each other’s goals, dreams and objectives in mind, you shouldn’t discover a stranger when retirement decisions come around. The relationships with family and friends and relating to oneself introspectively are to be visited often. You can become a stranger to yourself as well as those close to you perhaps even shutting to yourself off to everyone. Again from Matar:

We met at a place they like appearing to be standing there with the optimism of successful people. An unexpected turn in the conversation began to confess such inconsolable disappointments regarding their lives and careers; veiled sentiments that seemed to conceal powerful criticisms of one another. Each listed with the head of blame and quiet violence that some couples are capable of, all the missed opportunities, the roads not taken and now uncorrectable regrets****

That bleak outcome can be turned inward all too easily. Be open ... to those in your life, many heartaches can be avoided.

So, let’s say that the work has been put into relationships and an understanding and respect of one’s goals have become shared goals or visions; you’ve not only avoided conflict, but obtained support and encouragement for what can be a risky set of plans. My wife has been able to read me sometimes better than I can read myself... with the shared effort given. Without trying, we started to share common dreams; we didn’t plan on that 20 years ago (truth be told 20-25 years ago was a rough patch)... we started sharing what we hoped to achieve, helped each other on the difficult steps we were then experiencing and talked ... who’d have thought? This is our path and is not a guarantee that both sides will depart at point A and arrive at the same point B; but the odds improve even though neither can anticipate those rascally intangibles. You chose each other for a reason, you raised a family together for that reason... don’t hide what you want from each other or from your friends for that matter. Do Kim and I share a common general outlook? Absolutely. Does that outlook appear identical to each of our visions? No... c’mon nothing worthwhile will come that easy. Are we facing compromise? Sure, and is it worth it? To have someone to share dreams, to encourage you when roadblocks appear, to validate your vision... it absolutely is worth it. Go it alone? Not the most desired outcome... we are social creatures, we need each other ... as long as “give and take” is understood, it will be ok in the final picture.

But, I will live in Italy ... you’ll see you will all see ...(end with maniacal laughter)

*Eastwood, Clint; The Unforgiven

**Donne, John; No Man is an Island

***Matar, Hisham; A Month in Siena

****Matar, Hisham; A Month in Siena

http://labibliotecacoffee.com/

[legendoftheghost]

how would you rate the whole game? I haven't finished it yet (still got way more than half to go) and I almost feel like there is not much praise towards it. I might just not be seeing any

Random Inbox Shenanigans || always accepting!

Disclaimer: I am not a gamer myself, so I have not played Ghost of Tsushima. My knowledge of the game only comes from watching story mode and cutscenes of the game, and watching Jin Sakai being an epic shinobi and assassinating the Mongols with fluidity and effectiveness. 

The most thing I love about the game is obviously, Jin Sakai; As the survivor of a inevitably failed and doomed samurai charge to hold off a Mongol invasion, Jin Sakai is most complex, conflicted and tortured hero I have seen in the recent years. Trained to be the best of his samurai caste, the tension between his familial duty and the need for justice forms the heart of the story. And I really think Sucker Punch did such a marvelous job of bringing that through three distinctive acts (which is precisely the reason why I have categorized Jin’s canonical verses into three separate tags, i, ii, and iii respectively). A small but richly drawn cast of allies surrounds him – each flawed in their own way – who are coming to terms with their warring natures. 

I think the interwoven stories that unfold carry very little lightheartedness or humor (as it should be), instead opting for a somber contemplation on the horrors of war. They portray a mother’s grief for her murdered grandchildren, the weight of survivor’s guilt, and the loss of innocence when we perceive our heroes’ failings. I feel like the whole game itself is a reflection on suffering and torment that follows it, and I was pleasantly surprised by Sucker Punch’s uncompromising adherence to that vision.

I also am in love with such exaggerated and painterly vision of feudal Japan, specifically the Island of Tsushima, where gently curving cherry trees blow endless blossoms across windswept fields of pampas grass. And the wind on Jin Sakai’s back becoming manifested breeze, shifting direction to take him to his destination. Birds and foxes emerge to guide him to hidden hot springs and shrines. Especially impressive weather effects set the mood, from ghostly fog-shrouded forests to thunderstorms that presage moments of conflict, which definitely bring stark atmospheric qualities and heighten the tension and severity of Jin Sakai’s quest. Scattered mats invite him to sit and craft poetry with a dedicated haiku mechanic. I am so in love and cannot fathom to even exult the artistic presentation, alongside one of the best scores in recent memory.

And I cannot forget to mention Jin Sakai’s tactical and cunning combat style, taking Jin down the questionable path of infiltration and assassination. Over time, several tools enhance the options here, letting the players mess with the enemy or terrorize them into flight. While both samurai style of fighting and the Ghost’s style of fighting are satisfying; I love that he doesn’t face consequences for being sneaky instead of straightforward, so it’s not about picking one or the other, and I also love the richness of all the tales and missions Jin goes through, especially those dedicated and multi-part tales for each of Jin’s allies, which are equally worthwhile, telling personal and pathos-laden stories of loss.

The game itself is riddled with vicious, fierce violence and emotional angst, both of elements which I absolutely love. I am just in love with the mechanics of the game also, and would love to get a chance to play it, but as of now, I’m just satisfied of writing as Jin Sakai and expanding his story on my own. 

[thepilgrimofwar]

Regret

Unpublished Follow up to Homefront & to Emmissary of the Fallen

Snow had begun to fall, coating all the courtyard in white except for Sederis’ altar which stayed under the protection of a spell. Zarannis had no such protection and kept her vigil even as the snow melted into her hair. It did not bother her in the slightest that Quel’thalas had lost her eternal spring, after all, winter was the Kestrel’s element and her people lived and died by it in the Cloudrend Glades. She stared at the corpse of the man she had once brought into those mountains in search of Zin’jang, crossing into valleys that did not exist on any map, and tried to remember her last words to him.

“Genocide?” She had shot him a dark look. “If the Shadow Eaters didn’t want to be wiped out, they wouldn’t have kept collecting skulls. Our skulls, or the skulls of our children.”

“They wouldn’t have collected skulls if they weren’t desperate to drive us out.” Sederis replied her look with one of his own. “Remember. We landed on these shores and murdered them until there were no more trolls to kill. Men, women and children- We’ve be wiping them out since the day we came here.”

“That’s ancient history! Were you alive then? Were these traitors alive? No! Why keep bringing up what our ancestors did?” Zarannis spat, clenching her hands into fists and marching right up to the noble brat.

He stood his ground. “Because that’s who we are! We live with what our ancestors did, whether you like it or not!”

“So how long then?” Her voice died down to a poisonous whisper. “How long must we pay for their sins? The rest of our lives? The lives of our children? Eternity? If you want to wallow in your forefather’s guilt, be my guest but don’t you dare try and drag me with you.” She looked him in the eyes. Uncompromising. Unflinching. “I’ve seen the aftermath of a troll raid on a logger’s cabin. I’ve cleaned up the pieces of that family. I’ve buried what remained of the children that lived there. Sure, my people have done the same or worse than their tribesmen, but that family? They did nothing except try to settle the frontier.”

“Their lands, their law.” Sederis stated, just as she had when they had first crossed into troll territory.

“When the law dictates the slaughter of innocents, then the law is wrong.”

That had been it. After that, they had returned to the Wintergale manor and went their separate ways. Those were her last words to him. Words of defiance. A challenging of the natural order of things, and the defense of age old hatred.

“Thank you for coming,” came a voice from behind her. But Zarrannis did not turn. She was fixated on the corpse of the man she had once known. Sederis Emberheart, laid out to rest. Dame Everleigh had returned him, probably half-expected that her worthy adversary would be resurrected. But try as they might, Sederis had refused to return. “It means the world that you braved the perilous journey here, behind enemy lines.”

“If you think I came here to pay my respects, I’m afraid you are sorely mistaken,” Zarannis stated coldly. She didn’t particularly dislike the man, though they had a difference in opinion about many things. But she didn’t believe in mourning.

“Yet you stare at him, unmoving,” she knew it was Solendis Emberheart. She could tell he was circling her. “I’d wager that you were.”

“At his body. Not him. This was his prison, of responsibilities he was forced to carry, and of promises he could not keep. Respect has nothing to do with it.” Zarannis turned at last to the Steward of the Emberglades. “At his body,” she repeated. “And Zin’jang.”

“Our family’s weapon.”

“His weapon. Your family took it in as a trophy- a symbol of the blood it took you to win these lands off the Amani. Sederis took it back to bridge the gap between divided traditions. He reforged it into his own,” Zarannis turned back to the spear, and the body that clutched it tight to his chest.

“What will be done with it?” She asked.

“He will hold it until this war is over. Once it is, we will bury it with him in the family mausoleum. There it will stay until Stenden is old enough to claim his birthright.”

“If he becomes old enough to claim his birthright,” Zarannis corrected. “You know full well, with the soldiers of the Heartlands obliterated, and the loyalists of the Broken Bulwark destroyed. No one will come to your aid. Lord Ilithia and the whole of Westheath will be at your throat the moment this war is over.”

“We still have House Goodember and Wintergale.”

“Neilio Goodember will support the highest bidder. How much gold will you have left in your coffers after this war is over?” Zarannis began pacing, orbiting Solendis now. “And House Wintergale? My father has wanted independence for generations. This would be the best opportunity to achieve it.”

Solendis swallowed hard. “Arenias will come for you after he’s done with us. There is merit in supporting your Lord.”

Zarannis laughed, deep and rich as if there was true humor to be found. “Tell that to my father. You forget I’ve been disowned.”

“Why is it do you think I’ve called you here,” Solendis shot her a look that stopped the Far Strider in her tracks. “The Emberglades needs a Warden, Zarannis.”

“And I’m your third candidate?”

“First.” “Times must be truly desperate indeed,” Zarannis smirked. “For you to think that a member of disgraced nobility is a worthy fit.”

“Dorrence Tar’saren was lowborn soldier-turned-Lord of the Broken Bulwark. Sederis was a runaway mercenary captain-turned-Lord of the Emberglades. Worthy fits are few and far between in these lands,” Solendis stepped towards her. “You are distinguished Far Strider of Lodge Kestrel. You have protected Quel’thalas for centuries. You have kept the Cloudrend Glades safe-”

“Secure,” she corrected. “I hope this war has taught you that no one is truly ever safe.”

“It has, which is why we need a Warden.”

“A Warden of a sinking ship.”

“A Warden, of Stenden Emberheart, Lord of the Emberglades. The recognized ruler by the Crown.”

“Until Arenias takes that title for himself,” Zarannis quipped. “And you assume that there’ll even be a crown after this.”

“A Warden of the Emberglades, Lady of the Broken Bulwark, and bearer of Zin’jang,” Solendis raised his voice, stating all that he had on the table. All she needed to do was collect. “Keep your family name, make a new one, that is your prerogative. But you will be given everything we have lost and more.”

“And swear my life away- Throw my life away in a future war for a pile of ruins and a stolen relic? You offer things you have no ownership over.”

“What would you have me do then!? Let my family die?” Solendis yelled, a phenomenon that has been witnessed before or since that moment. “When Arenias comes for us, we’re going to be strung up on the walls of this very courtyard and I won’t have it! But I’m not a great warrior or a charismatic general. I’m a man with a mouth and a birthright, nothing more. I can’t save my family. I was hoping- no- I am begging that you do.”

His outburst caught her off guard. She had known him as the ever calculating, ever scheming spymaster of his brother’s regime. This was probably part of his game- but not under the pretense of some scheme. This game he played was closer to home, with personal stakes that were closer to him than the man was comfortable with.

“Begging does not suit you,” she said, walking up to the embalmed body in the center of the courtyard. She thought of Illsei, her sister, next in line of House Wintergale. She thought of Rendra the brat of a brother, and of Ameli, who still refused to wear dresses. Zarannis loved them all. Fiercely. She’d do anything for them. Kill for them. Die for them. She felt for the man.

Zarannis shook her head. “I appreciate the offer. But I have got a war to win.”

Solendis hadn’t the strength to save his family. But neither did she. Already upon her shoulders were the lives of the surviving Kestrels. The Tal’dorei who exiled themselves for her. Waywatchers from Emberlight. Oathsworn of the Sunguard.

She would not bear anymore. Not if she could help it.

-

Just a girl.

I am just a girl.

Not a Farstrider, not a General, and not a pawn of Solendis’ schemes. Just a girl.

Zarannis stared at the corpse of the man she had once known. At last beginning to understand the weight that he had carried upon his shoulders. How a thousand lives could be only a word away from death.

She thought of the war. She thought of her mistakes. Of Honor. Of Naivety. Of promises that she could not keep and people she could not save. But what she regretted most of all, wasn’t the things she had done.

It was the things she hadn’t.

--

Art by Harris Clook

@retributionpriest @stormandozone @thanidiel @curiouslich @esheyn​ @cynfuldax​ @thenaaru​ @forever-afk​ @felthier​ @azriah​ @sonofkhaz​ @korkrunchcereal​

[bigskydreaming]

How old was jason when he died? And when he was resurrected?? And that time he spent dead make him crazier than Ra's when he is under the pit's effect?

The general consensus as far as I’m aware is that Jason was fifteen when he died, and he came back to Gotham in Under the Red Hood about five years later. There’s a couple different versions of the in between time, but most common I believe is that he was resurrected due to multiverse bullshit (like, the official explanation is that an evil teenage version of Clark Kent punched the dimensional walls of the place he was trapped outside of normal time/space so hard that the ripple effects of him breaking through like, caused ‘hiccups’ or anomalies across various universes - one of these being Jason’s resurrection. Yeah. I’m not making this up. LOL).

ANYWAY. The go-to version of the timeline I believe is that this happened about six months after Jason died, which was right around the time Tim started trying to convince Dick to come back and be Robin again and ultimately ended up becoming Robin himself. When Jason dug himself out of his grave, he was largely catatonic and unresponsive, and here’s where it tends to be most vague. After some period of time, which could have been anything from days to weeks to months, depending on who you ask, Talia was in Gotham for supervillain shenanigans or whatnot, came across him and realized who he was, and took him back to the League with her. 

Where again it depends on who you ask, after some period of time, ultimately Talia convinced Ra’s to put Jason in the Pit to see if it would restore him to full consciousness and heal the remaining physical after-effects of his death. And also, her reasons for doing this tend to be subject to your own personal interpretation of Talia. Some view this as her doing it for Bruce’s sake, some view it as her just wanting to use Jason as her pawn against Bruce, etc.

Personally, I view it as somewhat in between, though again this is just my take. I ignore ‘Talia the rapist’ characterizations in both regards to her actions with Bruce and Jason, so I mean, I’m just not here for Morrison or Winick’s take on her in that regard. BUT I also kinda....highly object to the ‘soft’ characterizations of Talia that kind of make her the ideal parent that highlights how crappy Bruce is in comparison? Like, its no secret that I’m hugely critical of Bruce’s parenting, but I just....personally am not a fan of acting like Talia is amazing at it and noble and selfless either. I don’t like the outright vilification of Talia - especially when she ends up coming across as worse than Ra’s, which, no thank you - BUT I don’t like...blunting all her edges either, for lack of a better phrasing. 

I tend to view her as someone who is extremely ambitious, ruthless and uncompromising in her own ways. I think a huge part of her dynamic with Bruce is that they mirror each other in so many ways, even if they’re not always on the same page. She’s often used as a narrative foil to Bruce, but I disagree - I think Selina and Bruce are the ‘opposites attract’ whereas Talia and Bruce are the ‘like calls to like/their bond in large part stems from how well they understand each other, even though they have different goals and aims most of the time’. 

But point being, like......I don’t like shallow, two-dimensional interpretations of Talia where she’s just evil and has no shades of gray to her, but I also don’t like the flip side of that and her being viewed as the lesser of two evils compared to Bruce. Like, sorry not sorry, I think both of them need to take some parenting classes. Unless you drastically change Damian’s entire backstory and characterization by the time he arrives in Gotham, and/or insist that Damian’s upbringing was all entirely due to Ra’s control and Talia at no point in ten years had the option of arranging for her son to end up with Bruce or somewhere else where he didn’t spend his childhood being taught that affection was a sign of weakness and how to murder his nanny in six hundred different ways and show his work plz, like......I have trouble with the super!mom Talia takes.

All of which is just to say....I don’t believe Talia brought Jason back with her and put him in the Pit out of the goodness of her heart, but I don’t think it was entirely absent of positive intentions either? If that makes sense? I just mean...she’s a SUPER complicated woman in my take, and that’s what makes her so much more interesting than she’s usually reduced to being in a lot of stories. Talia is not as stone cold as she often comes across as a defense mechanism - I think she is someone who feels things deeply, but she shuts that down even harder than Bruce. She’s a very pragmatic individual, and I think she tends to justify a lot of even her most emotional-driven choices by finding an advantageous spin she can put forth as her ‘real reason’ for doing things.

So....I think her feelings for Bruce DID have a lot to do with her taking Jason with her. She does love Bruce in her own way, she always keeps an eye on him so she absolutely had to have been aware just how badly Jason’s death was affecting him, and so I think when she first saw Jason and realized who he was....I do think on a gut level, her motivations were like, she felt a need or want to take him with her and see that he was well cared for, for Bruce’s sake if nothing else.

BUT....I think the complication is she has trouble justifying that to herself, even, let alone to her father or subordinates or any of the others who constantly seek an edge over her within the League’s inner power structures and hierarchies. So I think that’s where the pragmatic side of her took over, and once she DID see to Jason at least nominally being taken care of....that’s when she started to look at it in terms of how she could play this to her advantage as well.....and whether that ultimately was in pursuit of convincing Bruce to join her side, and using Jason as leverage there, or just hurting Bruce for rejecting and hurting her and her chosen path, and using Jason to accomplish that.....tbh, like I said, I see Talia as an extremely complicated person and IMO the most likely take is that even SHE probably couldn’t say which she truly wanted or intended.....or perhaps it just changed at various points, and more than once.

My point with this tangent is I think there tends to be a very narrow focus on Jason’s return and Talia’s role in it as opposed to just the Pit in general. As much as Talia did help Jason, I think it doesn’t get acknowledged enough that as long as her own motivations and agenda were AT ANY LEVEL behind her choice not to reveal he was alive to Bruce....that’s something that I think could use more scrutiny in fandom, because that is a selfish choice, even if she did nominally spin it as being in Jason’s best interests. I just mean....it was a complicated situation, she’s a complicated person, you can’t add that up and still walk away with the simple narrative “Talia helped Jason after he came back to life and everything she did was to his benefit and in his best interests’ you know?

The thing is, the Pit’s influence aside, we have NO idea how things might have gone if Bruce, Dick and Alfred had ever gotten the CHANCE to get to Jason immediately after his submersion in the Pit and try and help him through it.....because Talia and Ra’s didn’t allow for them to ever have that chance. And that is a hugely critical plot point I think, that’s gone largely unexplored. There’s a lot of attention paid to how Jason felt upon learning that the Joker was alive, that there was a new Robin....but not a ton of attention paid to the HOW of Jason finding out all these things, and just how exactly this information was delivered to him and in what framing and context.

Because again, Pit influence aside....just sheerly in terms of the massive trauma and disorientation Jason had to have been going through upon having his full cognitive faculties restored by the Pit.....like....Jason came back to Gotham as an adult, ultimately. But at THAT stage of things....he was still likely only sixteen or so. VERY young. VERY traumatized. COMPLETELY isolated from all previous existing support networks.....and all of that adds up to being VERY. VERY. Impressionable.

And this is the part I wish got more focus. Just how much influence Talia, Ra’s and the League in general had over Jason’s thought processes, morality and ethics during that period he lived and trained with them....in the wake of a massive traumatic ordeal and with zero effort paid towards helping him cope and recover in any way other than what they laid out for him there. See, whatever Talia’s actual motivations for bringing him back and putting him in the Pit were....there’s not really any denying IMO that once that was done, she still took advantage of the opportunity Jason’s impressionability and gratitude for what she’d done (and just the interest and care she’d demonstrated in his eyes merely by doing it)....like, she still took advantage of the...influence this gave her over him.

Like.....Under the Red Hood? Eight heads in a duffle bag as Jason brutally slaughtered some of the key members of various crime organizations in Gotham and used that to gain the attention and fear and/or respect of various crime lords and organizations?

That didn’t come out of nowhere. And personally I think there’s too much focus paid to Jason’s potential for violence before his death, the murkiness surrounding Felipe Garzona’s death, and the effect the Pit still had on his mind when he returned to Gotham.......and not enough focus paid on WHERE AND WHO HE SPENT ALL HIS TIME WITH IN BETWEEN THESE THINGS.  

Because as brutal as Jason could be at times as Robin......eight heads in a duffel bag is still a LONG way away from that. What its NOT a long way away from, however....is League of Assassins training, methodology and worldview.

Like, literally everything Jason did in Under the Red Hood came right smack out of the League’s playbook, so I’ve always just been like....forget the Pit for a second, guys! What about just....examining what effect being surrounded and trained by League assassins for three or four straight years in the wake of massive, life-altering trauma and circumstances that make you feel both INDEBTED to said League and BETRAYED BY all your previous loved ones who weren’t there for you....because they never had the opportunity TO be there, given that they weren’t the ones that ran into Jason while he was on the streets after digging himself up and like, even in the DC universe AT THAT TIME ‘hey wonder if he might end up resurrected somehow’ was not like, something that was at the forefront of anyone’s mind as a likely possibility?

LOL. Anyway. So that’s my hot take on Jason’s return.....yes, the Pit undoubtedly played a role, but I would love love love to see more of a role given just to looking at the sheer INFLUENCE the League and their teachings had over an isolated, traumatized and impressionable teenager.

As for the Pit itself.....that’s a topic for another day, probably, lol, but like...I have a LOT of thoughts about the Pit and how its used in various narratives, canon and otherwise. Because the thing is....its effects STARTED out as being brought into stories about Ra’s as kind of a moral fable. Like, essentially, the effects of the Pit in early stories were like....IMO more intended as a cautionary type narrative about the dangers of greed and being power-hungry, seeking to control even life and death, etc? I just mean like.....it originally came off as more of the idea “there’s no such thing as a free lunch” or in essence...everything has a price, and with something like immortality, the price is steep. There was a lot of focus initially on the idea that Ra’s was the man he’d become...only after centuries of using the Pit’s power to remain young, vital and alive. Power corrupts, essentially.

However, the problem I have...is that narrative becomes a wholly different thing when the Pit affects someone who DIDN’T seek to use its power, who wasn’t using it for selfish gain....nor like in Jason’s case...did they even have a choice about using it at all! This is the same issue I have with keeping Dick as a Talon in Court of Owls stories, and certain ways Cassandra’s story is told and her body language skills are used and discussed: I have a deep dissatisfaction with the idea of abuse inflicted by others, being like...the origin story or source of someone’s powers....when its paired at the same time with consequences that the person never asked for, would never have asked for......but the powers themselves tend to be the only thing focused on, rather than the drawbacks, with the overall takeaway ending up being that like.....the person should be grateful that the abuse happened in the first place because now they have these powers see, and isn’t that the most important thing?

So to correct myself, it isn’t quite the same thing, but I mean....the issue I have with Jason and the Pit here, in comparison, is that....Jason had no agency in choosing to go into the Pit. So to me.....its a big, BIG problem to have him ‘benefit’ from that in the form of look, he’s alive and well again, he has a second chance.....IF equal scrutiny isn’t being paid to the price he is stuck paying for the ‘gifts’ of the Pit, that second chance.....when he never asked to pay it in the first place. 

And I don’t actually think I’m the only one who has that problem, I think most people just don’t spell it out to that degree....because what I mean there is......the Pit’s effects ever since Jason’s return like....aren’t viewed in the context of being a morality narrative anymore. At least not in regards to him. People rarely write the Pit as ‘corrupting’ Jason the way it was once suggested to have corrupted Ra’s, because like....Jason was a victim, not a person motivated by selfish desires for immortality. And people want him to be a hero (or at least an antihero) rather than the villain that DC has at times tried to make him instead....and I think even unconsciously, we’re all aware that it doesn’t really work to have a character like that ‘forced’ into a villainous role because of exposure to a mystical corrupting agent they never asked to be exposed to.

SO. The end result of THAT is that.....the way people write about the Pit has shifted, both in canon and fandom. And now the Pit’s effects are viewed less as a cautionary morality fable and more as like...a heightened form of PTSD, a metaphor for the extreme and beyond-imagining trauma of being brutally killed and brought back to life again.

And that is where things get murky for me again, because you end up with an unintentionally confused/skewed narrative where writers and readers often aren’t even sure themselves if they’re writing this mystical McGuffin as being an external force of corruption that makes people ‘worse versions of themselves’ OR whether its a PTSD/trauma metaphor that highlights the hurt/confusion/paranoia/intensity of tangled emotions that survivors of great traumas experience. And the problem there is, without actually intending to....I think you inevitably end up dipping into a lot of really problematic ableist ideas that reinforce some pretty negative impressions of mental illness, bad survivors and recovery in general.

Oops. Tangents happened again, huh. Oh well. Hope your answers are in there along with everything else I stuffed that response full of, lol!

[zodiacrant]

Stereotypes explained:

Sagittarius

Bites more than they can chew: Sagittarius loves to explore and wants to learn from things but they prefer to go to the top and all the way instead of going slow and learn. So say if they play a new video game they’ll skip the tutorial and play the game on the highest level.

Word vomiting and doesn’t know their place: Sagittarius have a sense of ideals that people may not understand but they apply, so say they heard you talk about someone then in front of that someone you were acting nice they get angry because they feel lied to and manipulated. Sagittarius believes in the hard bitter truth over the sweet lies so they won’t change that just because you don’t feel so, however like any person they can violate other people’s space or privacy but they’ll understand and respect you if you tell them off.

They live in their own world in their head and think everything in there is the same as the entire world logic: aren’t we all? Expect they don’t shy away from it and may over confidently voice it.

Capricorn

Emotionless and cold: “the most ruthless were the most kindest “, something I believe is the case with many earth signs and especially Capricorns. It may seem like they don’t care but it’s mostly a defense mechanism which they use to make sure you’ll go all the way for them so they’ll show you their more intimate self.

Workaholics: Capricorns May be driven towards success but not all their goals and dreams are academic or typical kind of jobs. It may seem to some that all they care about is work but they just want to fulfill their dreams.

Boring: I never understand why some people describe a whole sign as “boring”. Just because they don’t want to party every night or sneak out at night or skip school doesn’t make someone boring. Just because they don’t want to do what you wanted or them having different interests doesn’t make them boring.

Aquarius

Would do anything to be different: we all want to be different in way or the other, however it seems this stereotype comes from either a place of misunderstanding or envy. Aquarius tend to have a lot of eccentric and bold appearance and very off the wall ideas so they tend to be interested in unconventional things like art, which lead them to be quite competitive and frustrated with people not understanding them or people trying to be “cool” by being unconventional and eccentric.

Doesn’t care about anything or anyone: it may come off as such but Aquarius cares a lot actually, from people who drive crazy to those who dont say thank you when you open the door Aquarius cares about a lot of things and how they affect the world and the bigger picture so it may not look like it but they very much do.

Uncompromising and doesn’t give people a second chance: Aquarius expects people to deliver when they ask them for something or they’re working with them, they up hold themselves and others to a standard where they have to make it work or not do it at all.

Pisces

Always daydreaming: I don’t know about this and I have never known a Pisces that daydreams a lot but I have met those who forget a lot, so for as far as I know they might be trying to remember something.

Weak and a sensitive snowflake: Pisces can be sweet but calling someone weak because they’re kind or considerate is a cheap shot.

A stoner: really! Do I need to explain why this one is wrong.

Aries

Angry and short tempered: Aries is a very chill person and if you see them angry often that means they either love you so they show you their emotions or hate you and you piss them off often

Strong headed and likes to be the best: as a cardinal sign Aries is prone to be competitive and wanting to win, however, it doesn’t necessarily means that Aries would tear people to be the best and that they have to. I don’t find being strong headed as a bad thing, I find as an asset that needs to be controlled.

Bullies and dictators: a very disgusting stereotype that was put on Aries, some would even hold them accountable for certain actions that were made by a certain asshole. Stop.

Taurus

Lazy and loves to eat a lot : one of the zodiacs most known stereotype, I actually find it very funny that a very hard working sign get to be called lazy for loving to relax, Taurus is a sign of habit but that doesn’t mean they sit on their ass eating all day in matter in fact most of the Tauruses that I know ended up being successful at a younger age and got their shit together earlier and faster than their counterparts so I find it quite ridiculous.

Hates change and rigid: Taurus is a very stable sign and get very comfortable when they’re happy in their position, however you haven’t lived until you saw a Taurus change up, they changed completely and I mean completely and I am not only talking hairstyles but also friends and styles and even jobs. Yes they hate change but when they do it’s like taking the ground and flip it upside down.

An asshole towards others and doesn’t respect other opinions: as a fixed sign Taurus doesn’t take apposition very lightly, but unless they ask you for your opinion they really don’t want to hear it and unless you’re better than them at that certain thing then they’ll never going to take your advice and move on and I actually like that about them.

Gemini

Always talks and doesn’t shut up: here we’re at the most hated sign. Gemini’s have a very quick yet short term thinking span so when they get excited or talk about something they let it all out so they won’t forget about it or get over, and personally I love someone who can hold a conversation with anyone since I find it difficult myself.

Two faced and cheaters: we need to pump the brakes on this one because it’s very disgusting to call someone these things because of their sign and people actually made a sport out of making fun of Gemini’s. Gemini loves to fly and doesn’t like to be stranded and settle when they think there’s something better for them and if you’re not then they’ll leave.I have never met a cheating Gemini, all of those that I have met are actually loyal to a fault, they stand up for their friends even when they know their friends are wrong, they even stay in a horrible relationship just because they don’t want to break someone heart and give respect to their relationship.

Liars and make stories up: I think we’re all guilty of adding spice or over exaggerated a certain event to make it more interesting but Gemini’s are terrible liars and that’s why they get caught when they do, however that doesn’t mean they’re all liars just because whoever the fuck said so on their page.

Cancer

Cry babies: Probably second to Gemini on the most known stereotype, I find cancer emotionaly intelligent which most people lack. Emotional doesn’t mean someone who always cry but rather someone who understands their emotions and can describe them very well so I don’t see them crying as weakness but rather a way of relief that I wish I had honestly

Always jealous: cancers are known for their protective behavior and sometimes it may come off possessive and that it comes from a place of Jealousy but they mean well as they tend to be fearful of their loved ones get harmed or hurt. In a relationship a cancer wants to be with their partner and experience things with them so they might have a fit if you’d leave them to hang out with someone else and yes they would be jealous over you since they love however it may come off as very ridcal and immature but if they didn’t care they wouldn’t be a pain in your ass

Insecure: just like with emotions cancers are open about their struggles and tend to express them early on more so than the other signs. Just like any person they might feel not good enough or that they’re a failure and so on, but cancers care a lot about making something to fullest. As a cardinal sign they feel insecurities very often and can’t help but express them since it’s in their nature.

Leo

Narcissistic and self centered: a big misconception about Leo’s that they’re self absorbed, think they’re the best and doesn’t think about anyone else, but actually they feel very much like the worst so they act like the best to help them feel otherwise. As of the narcissistic claims Leo’s might be proud but narcissism requires a whole different kind of doucheness, as a fixed sign Leo’s are stubborn and might come off as stuck up but it’s just their confidence and big personality.

Lazy and big procrastinators: like the lion Leo’s have their ways, they love to sleep and eat and chill but when it comes down to it they turn it out and go all the way.

Must be the queen B and demands attention: this one is very stupid in its self because they associate mean girls from movies to Leo’s and I honestly have no words

Virgo

OCD: this is a mental illness and many people get offended by this whether they’re Virgos or someone who actually suffers from OCD, and I don’t tolerate such insensitivities and inconsiderate behaviors.

Stuck up: this might come from Virgos love for success, as an earth sign Virgo might come off insensitive and monotoned but it’s just how they’re and they don’t mean it to come off as such , since all earth signs value work and this might be seen since they have a confident attitude.

The mean kid in school: just because they associate signs with certain movie stereotypes that doesn’t make it applicable to a whole sign.

Libra

Whores: why? No really why? This is very gagging and not in the good way. Just because they love to look good doesn’t mean they’re asking for it.

Manipulative: Libras calm nature and hate for confrontations and loudness make them look manipulative and doing something under the table when all they want is to get out of the situation

Sympathy seekers: Libras are known for their diplomatic approach and because most people are not sometimes they want to feel understood on how they want to be say both of their friends friend but keep out of their drama without looking bad

Scorpio

Any kind of criminal label you could think of: doesn’t need an explanation to see why it’s stupid and unnecessary.

Addicted to sex: sex is a very instinctive thing but we don’t need it. Addiction to sex suggest that there’s a problem hence the word addicted and so also with this I don’t need to explain this besides that people have sex with who they want so mind what’s going on in your pants and you’ll get a significant other instead worrying about others sex life

Satan: .............................what?

So these are all the big stereotypes I know there are more but I wanted the most known and the most disgusting so let me know about other stereotypes and tell me what do you think is the reason behind each stereotype.

(please follow and share your dirt on the signs ☕️. )

[yogaadvise]

Teachers thoughts: what is your intention for the New Year?

Esther Ekhart - journey towards relaxation

All I desire at this phase of my life from my yoga practice is for it to relocate me in the direction of being my most kicked back, open, existing, kind self feasible in all situations off the floor covering. Yoga for me can be meditation, a solid flow, a long centering grounding Yin session or just walking in nature existing to my breath. Knowing what to do when to aid me be my most loosened up self is the journey.

Nichi Green - being here now

My emphasis currently is corresponding in my practice. I can conveniently obtain sidetracked which yoga exercise assists with extremely. Whether my technique is Vinyasa design, Ashtanga or Yamuna I'm hopping on my floor covering each day just to tune right into my body and also greet. I'm also working with Handstand which has created a whole lot over the last year as I've got stronger in my core as well as top body. I attempt and do it everyday which is invigorating and also I love being upside down.

What I wish to take with me into the New Year is a feeling of existing. I lately saw a terrific interview with the star Bill Murray that, when asked what he wanted, said' to simply be here regularly. To be actually present.' This reverberated massively with me and also I've embraced his little rule of 'Return Bill' to advise me.

Irina Verwer - authenticity

I love to begin my everyday practice and also my courses with an intention - and also setting an intention for a new year is a wonderful way to open to assess what is functioning, what isn't and what needs some great tuning or reformation. My recurring purpose is to be authentic. This beams with in every choice I make. It assists me to be open, to connect with myself and others on a much deeper degree, to take care of myself, to relax, to consume the foods that really feel excellent to my body and also to pay attention before talking. Desiring you a really joyous New Year!

Sandra Carson - offering the most to myself and also my world

Intention for me is what distinguishes the technique of yoga exercise from any type of other kind of workout or motion technique. I locate my practices have always been the most powerful when I established a purpose. If I don't set an objective of any kind of kind, I end up just doing the asana and also moving and taking a breath. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, however it leaves my practice a little completely dry and also not really satisfying.

An objective for me can imply to address something physical, psychological or emotional. It can likewise be an offering to a person or something. It actually depends upon where I remain in my life what purpose I establish, when I am struggling or not in an excellent room, I require to remain near to myself and also will set my objective on something more individual. When I really feel balanced and clear, I established my intention as an offering.

So my method usually revolves around the inquiry: what do I require to resolve to be healthy and balanced in my body and also mind? Just how do I require to practice in order to see myself, to understand and also feel myself far better? Just how can I relocate a way that opens up rigidity in my body and also to get strengthens where I really feel weak? Exactly how can I be much more open, kind, loving as well as understanding and also less narcissistic?

My objective is the driving pressure that aids me to connect to myself and also to attach to the globe around me with even more understanding and also clearness. Currently in my life, with all the ups as well as downs that come with it, I have actually been really feeling a change in myself. In general, I am extremely satisfied and also happy for where I am and I really feel quite satisfied, both in my physical and also spiritual method. Although there is constantly function to be done, I feel my energy moving away from myself and I am concentrating much more on what it is that I can offer to the world. The globe is a large area as well as 'supplying to the globe' may come across as a lofty or grandiose effort. For me, 'the world', simply means my spouse and children, my neighbour, my pupils and pals, the cable car driver or whoever I run into in my life. How can I remain in the world in a manner that does not only make me feel happy as well as meaningful, but additionally in such a way that offers to others?

David Dodd - presence and exploration

I work at two degrees in my own method when it pertains to intention. At a general level I constantly collaborate with the objective to merely 'Exist'. I often tend to spend a great deal of time in my head, so for me existing means most importantly bringing my attention to my body and right into the breath when I practice. This basic purpose has offered me well over the years to ground me each morning before I go out as well as do my point in the world. I will certainly remain to work with it going forwards both during technique as well as off my mat.

At a second degree I usually function with several particular purposes with regard to the interest I give my physique. For example, presently I am exploring what is going on in my butt muscle mass when I raise up right into back bends, and also the differences in feeling when I loosen up as well as re-engage these muscle mass in different methods as well as at different times in the pose. The various strategies for asana technique give different viewpoints on what is the 'appropriate means' to exercise in this respect, so I am just spending some time discovering this for myself. I invested a few months doing this a couple of years back and I am discovering equally as much - and having as much enjoyable - the second time around!

James Reeves - rest in the moment

My life's purpose is to rest in my interconnected integrity in all minutes of life so my everyday and yearly intents constantly support this. This year my intent is to remain to instruct and expand in my research and understanding, whilst taking ample break for my own meditation as well as technique. It's so simple to obtain shed in all the 'doing', all the research study, and all the 'understanding' as well as forget that often we just require to relax back right into the minute. Here's to a large New Year!

David Lurey - present in the state of love

I am maintaining with a clear purpose to be extra conscious in my asana method in the hope that it performs to the rest of my life. I am not so thinking about becoming more versatile or more powerful in my presents these days, but a lot more concerned with maintaining existing and also alive in every circumstances. It entails 'more' body recognition however is much more focused on involving my mind in the moment.

The intention of being extra conscious is to keep me much more in the existing minute where I believe Love to exist. I intend to be in mental as well as physical state of love as long as feasible. Oh ... as well as a couple of swimsuit handstands too!: o)

Francesca Guisti - being open to what unfolds

I don't truly assume concerning objective when I hop on my floor covering. It's not regarding 'What I want to accomplish' or' just how I intend to really feel' with my method. It's a lot more about the energy degree that I have at that specific moment, as well as how it advances as I enjoy my technique. Sitting as well as Pranayama have a profound result on my energy, and also typically afterwards I am prepared to move my body. If there is an intention, it's simply the deep understanding that once I get on my floor covering I am always a lot more in tune with my body, with my breath as well as with my mind. Clearness and equilibrium come whether I put my intent there or otherwise. I invite my fellow specialists to keep their intent light: being open to what unfolds is the most effective intention!

Anat Geiger - understand the underlying actions

What constantly helps me is to ask the inquiry: what is the purpose behind the act? I think it is the determination to please even more than our hungers that matter, our willingness to comprehend that every single action we take have consequences that surge via our lives and also the lives of others.

I think that a person of our greatest troubles is what I call 'objective shuffle': we think we have one inspiration, while deep inside there is another, more complicated and commonly much less rather intent moving the engines.

I frequently state in classes that I believe the yogi's most useful prop is sincerity. When we absolutely look inside ourselves as well as truthfully access what is our inmost intent, we will certainly concern recognize our actions and its results better, as well as we will be able to much better affect them, if that is our choice.

Resolution and intention

Rather than making a New Year's 'resolution' - which, by its very meaning, can be stringent and uncompromising, just how around making an intention rather - something that you can function towards, that doesn't have a 'success' or 'fail' outcome attached to it.

Find your intention

Shoot the intention arrowhead - locating our real motivations as well as looking them right in the face is sometimes the finest means to reconnect with our technique and also our life. Work to locate your true intentions and also position them where you can reach them in this half an hour Vinyasa Flow with Anat Geiger.

Have a pleased and serene Brand-new Year!

Love, EkhartYoga x

n. b. This post, has been lately updated.

[sarabia-pablo]

Translation of Nasser Al-Khelaïfi’s interview

Trust me, once you read it all you’ll feel better regarding the club’s situation or the mercato. 

When did you feel that some big changes in the organisation would be needed ?

The idea didn't come during a precise day. The reflexion has matured in my head little by little and finally imposed itself. If we want to keep growing up we need changes. I asked myself quite a few questions including, of course, after our elimination against Manchester "What did we lack of ?", "Why can we not reach the next level in Europe ? "What do we have to quickly modify ?" I came to the conclusion that changes were essential otherwise we wouldn't go anywhere. It  was time to change. Every club, at a certain point, needs a new impulse.

A new impulse to change what, precisely ?

We needed something new especially because we cannot count on such talents in the team and stop 3 years in a row in the Round of 16 of the Champions League. We are not doing a revolution. But after the trauma of Manchester we needed an electrochoc to get over it and especially to avoid facing another humiliation like that. In front of Manchester something broke. And in this situation it is useless to repare it. It's too fragile. We better change it. 

Which thing "broke" exactly during this elimination ?

The outcome of this game has revealed a few of our weaknesses in terms of implication, motivation, players' mentality. In fact, all of this does not create a postive atmosphere to reach the top all together. We all have dreams, especially the one that is to reach, one day, this Champions League. But we all have to give oneself the means and desire it harder than the other side does. However, against Manchester, I am convinced that we were not those who wanted the most the qualification. Were we ready, especially mentally ? I doubt it.

Have you been forced to make those changes or where they your initiative ?

This is my decision. You know, I've been in this profession for a while and I am now starting to have a certain experience. Those tiny details who make the difference, I've identified them. I am repeating myself but against Manchester I got the confirmation that we were having obvious lacks especially in terms of rigor. I didn't feel a champions mentality during those days.

Does this elimination against Manchester constitute your biggest deception since you arrived here in 2011 ?

The defeats are all very dificult to accept. In the league, during the final of the Coupe de France... every time I live very very badly all of these defeats because I love this club. It's my passion. But it's true that this elimination was a true choc because the Champions League remains not my dream but my goal. Of course, to reach the top of this competition you also need luck. And this time we cannot say that we had a lot of luck with this last seconds penalty. Without this penalty we wouldn't be here explaining the reasons of such a big interseason change. Because this season was also full of great performances. We've sell billions of kits all across the world which probably places us in the European top 5. We cannot underestimate our 8th France Champion's tittle. Contrary to what is said we are very attached to the national tittles.

Nevertheless. What is the principal difference between PSG and Liverpool, the European champion whose workforce isn't fundamentally richer than PSG's one ?

PSG wasn't inferior to Liverpool. That's why we've beaten them once and lost against them once at the last minute. But in the end they are the champions of Europe and not PSG. They have this winner culture that we don't always have.

This is the proof that it's not always a matter of luck…

Of course. Liverpool was already in the final during the previous season. To reach this level you need a continuity. We don't have it at this level. We also need a special mentality that we don't especially have, we need to admit it. This winner mentality you need to show it during every game, every time, whatever the competition is. We need to face these games with the same strength. This season we noticed that it wasn't always the case. And this has to change ! It's not only the matter of a few players but of the whole team and the whole staff. I need fighting spirit in every game

This lack of personality, whose fault is it ? 

We all lacked of personality and authority. Me first, I admit it. I do not want to flee from my responsabilities. I am the first one who's guilty. I don't want to hide nor to put the fault on others, the players or the staff. If it didn't work this season it's my fault first. But it is going to change

How ?

One of the missions confied to Leo (Leonardo) is precisely to make the mentalities change. Together, I want us to turn this club into a true winner club. I believe in 100% in his capacity to make us reach the top with more personality and authority. Everyone was waiting for this rigor : me, the players, the staff, supporters and even the medias. I am not saying that it is going to be easy but we can do it. He will have all the sportive powers in his hand to succeed. We don't have the choice anyway : we needed those changes.

What  did you ask from him in priority ?

He knows what he has to do and how to achieve it because he started this project with us. He isn't coming from nowhere. He knows PSG. He knows its strengths and its weaknesses. We'll gain a lot of time thanks to this.

Did you remain in contact after him leaving in 2013 ?

Of course. Leo, he's my guy. He's incredible. I have an absolute trust in him. He has the temper, the personality, the experience, the strength of persuasion to succeed. I don't know anyone in the football world who meets all of these qualities beside him. His natural authority will do a lot of good for everyone, especially for the players.

If he has so many qualities why did you not try to keep him six years ago ?

To be honest I didn't want him to leave. But everyone knows why he left. He didn't like how it went with the instances.*

(traduction note : long story short story, Leonardo got into an argument with a ref, pushed him and got a 1 year interdiction of bench + I don't remember exactly how many time of interdiction to work as a SD. He did an appeal but he left PSG anyway after this incident. The appeal gave him reason and canceled the sentence a year after the incident but he did not come back after that.)

Was it difficult to convince him ?

(he smiles) No. In two minutes it was settled between us. We didn't even talk contract. He was very happy to come back because he was always convinced that there is something great to do here. He'll create the syngergies inside of the sportive side that weren't existing enough last season.

How will the comeback of Leonardo change things for Thomas Tuchel ?

It will change lot of things. He will now have someone beside him to help him during his mission. He'll be very close to Leo and he'll be able to exchange with him regularily. This duo will be a great strength for PSG because they are complementary, I am sure of it. Leo will be behind the coach and the players in order to convey his mentality and also to verify that everyone is going in the same direction. He'll also be there to see if the rules are being respected, that individual behaviours won't parasitize the group. He will be very protective but also uncompromising if anything bad happens. If a players commits a fault he won't fall into feelings and will make him understand that the club is well above him. 

The good life is finished at PSG ?

Players will have to assume their responsabilities more than before. Everything needs to be different. They'll have the duty to do more, to work more. From the first training to the last game of the season. That's how a big club is. I want players proud to wear our kit, not players who do the job only when they feel like it. There aren't here to please themselves. And if they disagree the doors are open. Ciao ! I do not want to see stars behaviours. 

You have the reputation to be very close to players…

(he cuts the journalist) That's not true. You all need to stop with that. I know that some say that I am friend with the players, that I am always by their side. Others blame me to never be there. (he smiles) So, who do we have to believe ? It's ridiculous. All these "teachers" who wants to give lessons but know nothing are sometimes tiresome because they have no information about what's really happening at every level from the inside. I am not the one who comes to the players to tell them what to do or what to think. I'm also not here to comfort them. I see, I listen but I know how to remain at my place. Players know I'll always be there to protect them. But if I see that they are not doing the maximum to honor the kit then I'll be uncompromising. I need big professionals in the attitude and in the discipline

Which players will be the most deceived ?

I don't want to put all the players in the same basket. There are a lot of good guys in the talentful group. But some have shown a lack of exemplarity. Of course, I won't give you any name. I just want to pass this message : it won't be possible to work like they used to.

His (Leo) first mission won't be to chase some sufficient attitudes ? Has Ligue 1 become to easy for PSG ?

I assure you that all I want is the most competitive concurrence in France. It is extremely important to me. The more we will be to battle for the tittle the strongest PSG will become. I am sure of it. But if we can win 6 or 7-0 we'll take it as well. That's how the biggests are made of, we respect the weakests and we refuse easiness. I want all of my players to have this mentality, this will to win everything, to score the most goals. I understand that it can be hard to remotivate yourself after that before or after a Champions League game. But it's the same thing for La Liga, Premier League or Bundesliga. If some can do it, why not us ?

Does Ligue 1 deserve PSG ?

(he smiles) I won't answer this question. All I can say is that the Ligue isn't helping us a lot. When Ajax needed to postpone a game to prepare a Champions League game they agreed without any problem. And it didn't choc anyone. Here, it immediately takes the form of a priviledge. Yet we are the ambassadors of France and Ligue 1, no ? We have a French flag on our kits no matter where we go. We are the French team as well. But I feel like a lot of people forget this. When we make a new kit I always insist so we can have the French flag on it. It's natural because we represent France. And I'm proud of it. But once we come back home, what do we get ?

The "remontada generation", those who have known the two terrible desillusions, are they called to leave the place for players free of this mental weight ?

All I can say is that I don't want stars anymore, in the bad meaning of the word. We've had enough. 

Your two stars, Mbappé and Neymar, have had a few agitated weeks for very different reasons. First, Mbappé called for more "responsabilities". Have you been surprised and what did you say to him ?

Yes, I was surprised. I wasn't expecting this. We saw each other, of course, and we talked. He wishes to be more involved in our project to grow with our club. But I told him that you don't ask for responsabilities. You need to take them and sometimes even snatch them. We don't wait, we provoke. Since he's very intelligent I'm sure he understood. 

Are you sure he'll be a PSG player next season ?

Yes. And not at 100% but at 200% ! I won't let this crazy player go. To make him sign with us has been our best decision of the past few years : he is French, he is from Paris, he has a great mentality. I want to be there when he will win his first Ballon d'Or, and the next ones. Because I'm sure he will win a lot of them. To stay, Mbappé wants to be sure that he'll evolve in a team well-armed enough to win the Champions League. 

Did you promise him this ?

I know what he wants. We want the same thing. We will have this competitive team. We are not starting with a blank page because we already have a lot of extraordinary players. This season we already had a team good enough to go far in the Champions League. We need to stop giving excuses. I loath those who want to flee from their responsabilities. Everything is not the fault of the leaders. That's enough. 

Are you thinking of Thomas Tuchel when you say that ?

No, not particularily. I think of those who forget to make their own auto-critic. 

The second star, Neymar, has lost half of his season again because of a injury, then this scabrous story with this Brasilian girl, then another injury... These repetitive discrepancies and failures aren't the symbol of the complacency you want gone ? Did you manage to talk to him these days ?

(with a dark gaze) I didn't talk to him directly but I talked to his father. I told him again what I am now wanting from PSG players.

Are you still sure that Neymar will be the one to take PSG to the next level ?

I repeat : I want players who are ready to give everything they have to defend the honor of our kit and be part of the club's projet. Those who don't want to do so or don't understand, we see each other and we talk. There are, of course, contracts to respect. But the priority is not the total adhesion to our projet. 

Do you still need to be convinced that Neymar want get totally involved with PSG ?

Of course. Him, like all the others. No one forced him to sign here. No one pushed him. He came fully knowing the causes and wanting to be part of the project.

Does that mean that PSG won't be holding Neymar back this summer ?

No, that's not what I'm saying. I repeat that Neymar just like all the other players, has to believe in our project and give everything for it. And as long as this will continue, this won't cause any problem. 

The European stagnation did it not cause a loss of attractiveness to the club ?

No, PSG, trust me, is still the dream of a lot of players. You know I won't give you any name. All I can tell you is that we will soon have a lot of magnificent recruits. We've been working on profiles for months being even more attentive to the mentality of players who will come. Now we are in the middle of negociations and announcements will be made in time when the cases will be done. Talking about it sooner than we should is the best way to make things fail. 

It took Roman Abramovitch 9 years to get a CL with Chelsea. Does it seems ok to you ? 

(his gaze gets brighter) I knew that it would be complicated to go and take this Champions League. But nothing will drive me away from this goal. I still want PSG to win it. It will take time but I'm still sure that we will do it one day. We are a young club compared to Real or Bercelona. They are centenary clubs who managed to build a winner culture throughout time. We are learning in a faster way even if we ill remember the beautiful period of PSG in the 90'. We need to make up with this delay. We will have the players to succeed next season. With a different mentality. 

Are you convinced that the 2019-20 PSG will be stronger than the 2018-19 PSG ? Of course yes ! That's our goal. If not, we better all leave now and only come back at the beginning of the next season. Next season we will be stronger and more united.