#but whatever it's fine and normal ig
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secret wars secret love you will ALWAYS be famous
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#//draws eriks weird reindeer thing differently to make this pose work// vjELAKVJEALKJV#maybe ill stick to this but i kinda like the 'barricade' vibe of the other option but anyway#mom said its MY turn to reference the famous bridal carry panel#this was supposed to be a quick warm up but as i was lining things my hand started to tremble really bad#i dont know why ??????????????? thats never happened before and my hand's perfectly fine and normal now#like my hands tremble a little from time to time but nothing ever detrimental#the trembling i had today was ACTUALLY crazy bad. had me concerned but i was also able to still draw so not that bad ig#ANYWAYS. yeah <3 i wanted to reference tha panel we all love ......#i draw this mfer carrying his mfer so much i fear i cant be stopped. charles is a princess who needs to be princess carried#i usually draw it like. An Actual Block or whatever but its flatter ... so charles may rest his weary head ...#i did draw charles getting a handful. its what he deserves. its also what i deserve but i cant have that now can i#erik living my dream too tho ..... life is so unfair i wanna carry charles xavier and kiss his head this life SUCKS#slowly being able to feed my cherik fix again we're Semi back. once i finish my work for once THEN we'll be so fuckin back jWRKLJLAKF#ok thats all from me bye bye
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okay but fiddleford was raised christian, is from a small town in the bible belt, AND lived in the 80s do you understand how much internalized homophobia this man must've had. like yeah he was super obvious about his feelings for ford, but god knows he was never gonna SAY anything -- how could he??
he's a married man. he's a father. willing to go out-of-state for work, sure, but he'd never hurt them like that. he never could. and even aside from everything previously mentioned, ford was his first and likely one of his only friends, he wouldn't wanna ruin that for some dumb fantasy. no, fiddleford just has to focus on being a better partner. that's all this is, and that's all it ever will be. he just needs to get that through his skull, and stop thinking about ford so damn much.
thankfully, he's gotten over most that stuff by now. ain't nothing gonna make mcgucket be ashamed of being himself anymore, but you sure as hell can try.
#holding mcgucket in my hands rotating him in my mind he is EVERYTHING to me#theres. so many reasons he never said anything i think. from the fact that he was married to just being normal embarrassed about it#but this man had ASTRONOMICAL amounts of internalized homophobia i can feel it in my bones#like hes 100% fine now like i said but he was fighting for his LIFE when he and ford lived together even before the memory gun#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#old man mcgucket#fiddauthor#ask to tag#idk if this is comprehensible at all it is 2am as of posting this but whatever ig
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lenora couldve been a rock type gym leader....🤔
(lenora design is heavily inspired by @mannimarcos lenora!)
#pokemon bw#gym leader lenora#archen#someone on the dash made a post about lenora and this thought popped in my head....#but what do i know. she just works with a lot of pokemon bones at her museum that has a lot of archeology exhibits#not to mention her museum is literally where the player goes to restore fossils but who even fucking cares ig. whatever.🙄.#normal types are fine too...but come on it was right there....#my art
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argggghhhhhhhuuuhhhhhhhggghhhh
#rant#predicament: if i never became obsessed with nicole rafee i would have never heard her talk about ocd and then i would have never been like#oh shit i might have ocd and let that seep into every crack in my brain and now it controls my every thought#like all my thoughts were going through a perspective warp sieve and everything everyone's ever said to me like i was already over analyzing#everything but now the idea that that's a problem that doesn't have to be a problem has messed me up man like i think i'm having ocd about#ocd and it's not fun man but it's chill ig i hate it here i wish i didn't enjoy her content so much and that i wasn't obsessed with her#godddddd#new year's resolution: i don't have ocd and i am a new person who's carefree and fun loving#daily affirmation: i don't have ocd x10 every morning in the mirror#i will manifest the anxiety away and be a messier person who doesn't even care about authority one bit#like pshhhh idek that i have no control over my roommate situation pshahhhh dude like whateverrr be messy in the kitchen it's not like i#care if we get a roach infestation 🤪 peace and love man#i'm a sane and not paranoid person i am normal about every situation ever and it's awesome#i am not loosing sleep over maybe having a different cancer every night bc that's something a crazy person would do#but also i low key think i had / have covid since like last tuesday but subtly and slightly#i wish i would stop researching things i don't want to research anymore (looking up everything about ocd on ever website created since awol)#it's cool though it's all groove and fine but i would rather invest this time in synthia synthia but it's cool and whatev#this is my secret diary bc journaling has only ever made me feel worse#i can do scary drawings that allude to my mental state but writing about it depresses me to the point of sobs and it's literally not that#deep man like it's just anxiety and people deal with that everyday i just gotta get over it too like them#like normal man jim and his wife betty i gotta through more tupperware parties#merry christmas 🎠
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wanting your mom to like you is a self imposed hell
#ramble tag#im sorry i cant fix everything. im sorry for all the world's suffering. im sorry.#hiiii im being so normal#theres. worst ways to act ig?#venting to the internet looks pretty healthy compared to. aha.#i hate the internet but if i didnt live in the digital age my body would be a mess#actually all war and suffering is my fault. sorry about that guys :( idk how to fix it#am i about to have an episode. im sayin some real dumb shit rn#i wouldnt. thatd be... Dramatic#my mom is Good im just. Messy#hey miss mother id tear my heart out and leave it on the alter if you wanted. this is normal and fine#i need therapy <3#no i dont. sort of. Its Ok Guys 👍#i want to open up my ribs and give her my organs i think thatd fix me#or gross her out but i do that normally anyhow#so sorry guys. my siblings follow my main lmao#Shiksa Goddess started playing so i think im just gonna like. laugh at that interrupting my weird tag ramble instead of like#idk. im not unpacking whatever that was. god bless 🙏
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was going through my blog trying to track down an old post i made talking abt my feelings on jolene and it was. much longer than i remembered it being. and haha yeah i still agree with it. i need to fucking. sort out my feelings on that character and that subplot
#like. its just been A Thing where once i thought abt it too hard it was just Wow i hate this actually#its not entirely like a visceral discomfort but its a sort of like. its unpleasant to think abt this for too long#like??? the easiest way for me to explain it is that normally its fine like ok a pursuer antagonist character to add lil backstory#but the moment you toss in the implication that she still has romantic feelings for him it jumps up to WOW THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE#for me. for me. like just all of it? and some fan stuff that influenced it like. bad jokes and uncomfy phrasing that leans to linebeck bein#like an unwilling participant or ‘giving in’ like fan stuff also REALLY hasnt helped so i just. yknow avoid it#salty talks#might delete later but i didnt delete the og so whatever#like she is absolutely just. badly written. shes a joke and poorly written and its just. there and there are implications#it does just come down to. shes badly written and the way linebeck reacts to all of it doesnt help#like when i worry abt like. coming off as sexist. its like nah shes just fucking badly written#casca is a similar kind of character as someone aggressive to her love interest and lashing out at him despite having feelings#but shes like. well written. and guts reciprocates. and you like. see them communicate and grow closer#here youre just given a disastrous fucking aftermath where communication is completely broken down#and while the aggressive party still has feelings the other party actively wants to just not engage with it and actively doesnt care#cuz like. he literally does not bring her up or allude to her outside of her being immediately relevant i cannt see him being interested#GOD. i just need to write all this out i keep justifying myself with it i need to. get it out#im narrowing down. something. for how i think their backstory together goes with it being a lot of miscommunication and it just being like#a bad situation anyways with their last actual encounter being a violent one and its like yeah no that was a trainwreck#i know its a fucking like. comedic(????) subplot in a lighthearted childrens game#but it has Vibes to me and that game does have some darker vibes to it we all know that#and it just. i dont like her. i dont. i remember i used to be like. alright with her. and then i thought on it too much#casca addendum ig. shes objectively not like. well well written. but all things considered. shes pretty good#like im p sure she was made to suffer to make guts feel bad but. she does happen to be a kickass character in the midst of that
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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act 2…. done?
#idk if it’s actually done or not but whatever#i’m going to sleep since i’m getting brunch with friends tomorrow at an hour earlier than i am normally awake#but yes i killed ketheric and lifted the shadow curse ig?#it’s not entirely gone yet but it’s getting there#and i met dame aylin my best friend in the whole wide world#i love the way she speaks it’s soooo good and really elevates her character#also. women. yeah.#vive la lesbians or whatever#i am having many thoughts abour jubilee as well but i will contain those to their own post. maybe.#i’m excited to actually get to baldur’s gate#also since i finally met them in game i can understand#the uncontrollable lust for enver gortash…. yeah. i like his nose so much#and orin of course i cannot forget about orin. i understand you all#she is so so so cool and has never done anything wrong ever#ketheric made me sad though. he’s just a really sad old man who did terrible things#i was fine until the note on his body from a clearly very young isobel.#the fact that he kept it all these hundred and some-odd years makes me insane#me when fathers do terrible horrible things to the world for the sake of a daughter. yeah.#ALSO by dame aylin association my shadowheart romance is going well#i did have to have The Talk with gale though because i forgot i flirted with him one too many times 😭#he kept looking at me with his huge wet sad brown eyes#i like him so much i need to do his romance SOON#meaghan talks#meaghan plays bg3#bg3 spoilers
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i have a headache and a sweet tea so i'm ready to fight the universe again
#just me hi#i also have a homemade burrito but that doesn't give me half the strength this sugar water is giving me#though i Am nourished now so that's pretty nice#//really tho i am so tired of head hurting. why must it be this way :/#i assume i've been getting headaches from the bright light (i.e. the Sun or Parking Lot Lights) so this sucks lol#//SO much lettuce in this britto rn !! i am going full rabbit on this shizz#top 5 words my dad would kill me over: britto hvbdjfhj#lettuceeeeeeeeeeeshjbshbdhsbjvebjsvishdsbhvbskvsjn#//oof i Apparently have some sort of ~mineral deficiency~ according to ma and i had to take Pills ://#which is normally fine‚ i take horse pills like a champ and i like to rub it in my brother's face#but these ones were NASTY. GROSS. just absolutely EW.#and also ig they were the ones that make you nauseous so Whatever i guess#was also subjected to the torture known as 'two spoonfuls of black molasses' that i haven't experienced since the michigan summer of '15#it's NASTYYY#that stuff Lingers !!! what the hewk man !!!#god invented that stuff to punish 10 yr.ols that's the ONly reason it exists trust me#my brother (same brother) Likes it too like. yeah of course Mr. BaconCookie likes the black molasses#and i just found out my OTHER brother likes purple-flavored stuff so now i have to disown him smh#(purple-flavored ??? grape. it's grape. tho yea it doesn't taste like grape so i guess it Is just purple hfhdjhf)#i'm never trusting them again (food-wise) this is just Terrible#//aw shnizzle i dunno if i went over the tag cap fvhsvs#let's see i guess oᵕo
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fuck im. it's. im not gonna get into my issues on tumblr mobile. im gonna go to bed.
#im so ill u guys im not feeling well#like in the head#my head is not well#do u follow#i need to go to bed#i have to before i lose my mind#whatever i have to be normal#okay. normal night everythings fine dont worry.#kinda vent ig???
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fUUUUUUUIIICCCCCKCKCKKKCKCKCKCKCK
#so. friend and i went to a fare (? feria . whatever. goth feria. everything normal 157 degrres celsius we dying out here but like#random girl sent out lITTLE BROTHER. (!) to ask for my friends ig and like ok thats fine sometimes happens to ppl but like#this is the friend i have a crush on [im in love] [shes aware] [not that im in love -i dont think so- but that i like her]#and ok sometimes it happens ppl have asked me as well in the past#but she just comented that the girl has already messaged her like disguised in like [? a joke ['we will never know if we won the raffle'#'maybe i should ask the girl which numbers won']#but like. please. dont say this to me. please. youre torture#she keeps on doing shit like this#dont talk to me about it at least#because it feels just amazing to know that any random stranger [that looks kinda just like me] is a better potential partner than me [your#best friend who loves n cares about you and has done so much for you on the time weve known each other i dont think anyone ever has before#and who you connect with perfectly and have told unbelievable things [tinged in romantic] then left heartbroken bc ypure too fucking stupid#to take into account my feelings]#so ok. feels great. anyway....#PLEASE someone make me forget about her i cant keep doing this#spikeposting#tw antiloveposting
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think i just got ID'd for the first time
#at the grocery store/when buying something anyway#it's possible i've had to prove my age for movies or tickets or whatever#it was for a non-alcoholic drink lmao#i was like idk if this is standard procedure but sure you can have my ID i've never done this before#then she held onto it for awhile and typed something seemingly#and i was like is this...normal procedure? or am i in trouble?#can i not buy nonalcoholic drinks at the age of 24?#but it was fine ig
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morgchie on the dome tonight. the way so much of their r/s has consisted of morgan tryna convince richie to have some damn sense and leave her alone and him literally doing anything BUT that…
#exhibit a: the literal origin of their r/s#16 yr old morgan when the grown man she befriended a yr ago on reddit is like#heyyyy i want u so bad btw#n shes just like uhhh thank u buddy! however no u dont!#i have the trauma of a world war veteran + a personality disorder + no mom no future no will to live n (1) friend excluding u#zero emotional range anyone whos met me thinks im creepy i can literally never be normal n my teeth fucked up.#and i am a teenager u met on the internet! it will not be worth it! u do not want me!#aaaaaaaand he just kept at it and she just relented eventually 😭#literally ‘okay fine ig’ her way into an almost 2 yr r/s. effervescent#tho richard is DETERMINED to see it thru to that second yr#even tho she broke up w him for showing up w sam as HER man outta nowhere#and is too busy focusing on Her Best Friend Almost Dying to worry abt whatevers gonna happen w them#and is ACTIVELY AVOIDING HIM 😭#man. like literally all she wanted was to be friends w this mf guy 😭#now look at what happened. dating a serial killer bc he literally WONT LET HER END THE RELATIONSHIP#— ♡ 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘮 (𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭) // morgan fox.#— slasherverse posting.#— ➴ 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳. // morgchie.
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Ouuu why do I gotta be blind and need glasses that are fucked up and won’t fix no matter how much you adjust them
#vent#cryin bout the glasses again cus I’m soo cooool and normal#uhhhggggg these ones are NEW REPLACEMENTS for the last NEW ONES I got cus they were FUCKED UP#and the spring hinge DIDNT WORK so now I got NEW new ones where the hinges work#but SIKE they’re STILL fucked up. now you get them slightly wonky on your face and still tight!! :)#oh and also you are annoying everyone around you because you’ve gotten glasses adjusted like 5 times in less than a month#and no matter HOW they are adjusted whether they’re WIDE or WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE. they are Always#too tight on your face BUT they still slide sometimes and you want to throw yourself off of the roof so you don’t have to deal with it#fcking fuxk ugh bullshit stupid ass glasses I need to see so my eyes won’t hurt but the trade off is my head hurting and people getting upse#at me for continuously needing adjustments cus I TOTALLY just want to keep going back over and over again and sit there for a long ass time#as they heat the damn things and make adjustments that LOOK like they’d do something yet they DONT FUCKIBG FO ANYYYTHIBG IM SO PISSED OFFFFF#ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY I CANT DEAL WITH IT I CANT FUCKING DO IT. AGHHHGGGGGGF FUCJKXKXKTF WHYY#I LITERALLY!! ALREADY HAVE THE SAME PAIR !!! ALL THAT CHANGED WAS MY LEFT EYE!!!!!!!! BUT APPARENTLY WE CANT JUST SWAP THE LENSES OR SOME BU#BULLSHIT CUS!! FUCK ME I GUESS ITS NOT LIKE IM THE ONE WHO HAS TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT!! I was so excited to get my new prescription so my#eye wouldnt hurt but I’m just not allowed nice things ig. these ones are worse than the last ones I just. I don’t fucking know what the deal#is or how to fix it like if they were just slippy? that’s fine I can work with that but they’re TIGHT and can’t fucking DEALL. AGAGGGAGGGGGG
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ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it
#its not even one of the ones i normally freak abt. fml. fml. its spreading. eventually i wont even be able to say Strals exist without going#into system shutdown or something. this sucks#this is also why i have so much trouble posting on my nsft is ill go over there and be like. Id love to **** some ***** and then i get#terrified. so i dont#my pfp over there is literally. **** ******* ** * *** but i go over there to post abt how i want to **** * *** and im like that is deviant#i cannot be saying that in front of my followers. who dollowed my nsft blog. where i list the things im into . and my pfo is * **** *******#** * *** so its not like theyd be HORRIFIED if that came up#but idk... i worry ppl dont read my dni over there. bc usually they just follow me after seeing that one post which doesnt rly mention any#of the ones im weird abt. except for like kind of it does but whatever its fine i cannottt freak out abt that post its existed for like.#months now. sigh. its all just a bit embarassing which sucks#“mdni”#IN A MASSIVE WAY. idr if any minors still r here if im still muts with any....#its just like. IDK i either feel a bit silly posting on it and its just mildly embarass Or i send myself into hysterics over how im an evil#person bc i like. well i cant say. obviously. but yk. stufffff. that i am into. I HATE TALKING ABT IT BC IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN EVIL#PERSON AND LIKE. its not anything like. UGH. im not into kids or animals 👍👍👍 obviously. and idt its that bad the things im into some of#them r like basically baby shit like ohhh woww youre into *********** and yet even that i cant talk abt it bc im like um im going to be#smited by god and sent to hell or soemthing and actually i only thing its normal bc im a disgusting weird freak and everybody would kill me#immediately if they knew also im an evil person? its like. UGHHHH.#and the other stuff is. less 'mainstream' which is even scarier but ig in a way ive been More open abt it which is kind of funny. looks at.#but even then i dont rly go in detail bc yk. Stuff. im just like lol they r the way they r bc of how i am. and then i walk away forever#idk. ive been feeling so guilty over that specifically like. UGH. its not like. ugh. i rly cant talk abt it without it being obvious and im#scared byt im also like Compelled to talk abt it so ppl dont think its worse but im also compelled not to bc thats like oversharing i guess#as if thta isnt All i do on this fuckass blog. no matter what i do i lose. i hate my brain so badly i wish i could judt get over it and jus#be like yep these r the things and not have to like over clarify and explain and disclaimer everything and stuff . idk. it suck#mdni#the quotes didnt take it to the top like they used to. kms
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so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
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