#venting to the internet looks pretty healthy compared to. aha.

[lazaruspiss]

wanting your mom to like you is a self imposed hell

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hey coon, I’m trying to write an original book and for some reason I’ve gotten bad writers block and everything I write I feel isn’t good enough and it’s putting me in a bad head space and really depressing me. Is there anything you do if/when you have writer block that you find helps you or maybe just give some words of encouragement? Sorry for the more sad ask It’s just been bringing me down. Hope you’re having a beautiful day.

Hello, buddy!!!

First of all, don’t you ever, EVER again say sorry for a ‘more sad’ ask. If you ever apologize again for something like that IMMA BITE YOU >:( U NO SAY SORRY FOR BEING SAD! U NO SORRY FOR TALKING ABOUT IT WITH A FREN! U HAPPY AMIDST THE SADNESS BECAUSE U HAVE A FRIEND U CAN TELL UR PROBLEMS TO!!!!!!

Really, it’s more than just okay. I don’t know if you’ve seen it before, but I’ve said a couple times when someone asks or brings the subject up, this isn’t a happy and safe place because every ask is happy. Even the sad asks make of this a happy and safe place, because even when the ask is sad, you know what that implies? That the person behind the screen got a chance to vent their thoughts. Hence, there’s a little weight off their chest. Getting to talk about what’s bothering you is always the first big step for recovery. It may seem small, and it is, but it takes courage to take that step. And from that point on, it’s snowball effect; it was a tiny movement, yes, but if it wasn’t for that little first movement, we wouldn’t have the big ball of progress that happens later on. 

And besides that, it implies some trust. You’re giving some trust on me, and isn’t that beautiful? And besides that, I sometimes can come up with some advice, or with at least sincere comfort. And isn’t that beautiful too??? So don’t say sorry. I’m here not just for the happy asks. I’m here for both the happy and the sad asks, because, I said it myself, didn’t I? Happy and safe place. And that includes safety to your feelings and thoughts. So don’t hesitate about it, don’t think that I don’t ‘like’ sad asks, or that I’ll be upset about it. And don’t you ever, ever apologize again. Aye?

Ahaha…I didn’t mean to rant about that!! I just wanted to keep that clear. Can’t let a buddy think they did wrong when it’s fine!!

Aye, I see the problem. 

How to get over writer block, huh…

Well, okay, let me add a keep reading here! If anyone else is reading this and wants to see, go ahead. The only inconvenience is that I talk too much, so this isn’t a quick guide, it’s just personal rant trying to help a buddy, but if you’re curious, you click that link c:

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL

Congratulations on starting an original book!!! WOW, BUDDY, THAT’S PHENOMENAL! THAT’S FANTASTIC!!! Holy moogles above, I’m SO excited and so happy for you!!!! :D

It takes something to start a project like that. Mostly because I know you care about what you’re doing, you’re not just one of those random people that write mere trash not knowing what they’re talking about. I think I’ve never read anything from you, but I don’t need that. From our interactions and the way you write even if it’s just in a conversation, I can tell for sure that you care and you’re GREAT at it. Besides, you wouldn’t be stressing this much if you wouldn’t care a bout it, right? 

That’s your first big hint that should help you calm down and be happier about it; the fact that you’re putting a lot of you into it. All this stress and the way the block is depressing you, all these feelings and all these sensations, you wouldn’t be feeling them if you didn’t care. If it wasn’t something special for you. If you didn’t want it to turn out fantastically.

I don’t mean to say that you need to be stressed and depressed every minute as you work on this, no. It’s okay once, twice, every here and there, but every time that it happens, you take that negativity and you see it from the other side. Because, in the end, the fact that you feel all that is because you care, and if you care, don’t you think that that means that you’ll give the best of yourself?? And that because of that, the results will be AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING!?!??!

I trust in that!!! Sometimes, the more excited you are and the more you care about a project talks about how much effort you’re willing to put into it. I know it’s just a fic, but look at Iggy and the Beast, for example. How I can so easily get nervous and anxious about it, and yet, how nice it is, how much effort and love I?m putting into it. It’s the same. You worry because you care, and if you care, it means you’re working and will work on it with every fiber of your body. And that, my friend, hard work given with all your might…that is half the way to your goal. :)

Now, as for advice as itself on what I do when I have a writer block, that’s pretty tough to ask…

Sometimes, it’s the things every internet page recommends you. Listen to music that fits the mood or scene you’re writing. Take a breath. Brainstorming (i was about to say ‘shower of brains’ ahahahhaha). And they work, they do sometimes.

But you know what I feel you need? The way you describe your block and how it makes you feel, the…essence or vibe or color that your ask as itself radiates. It sort of tells me of the one thing that took me so long to understand.

To get rid of your block, stop writing.

Sounds weird, doesn’t it? Like, you feel you’re too slow at running no matter how hard you practice, and the trainer tells you the best thing you can do is sit down and do nothing. Or you feel like you’re not doing progress with your new jutsu and Kakashi tells you the best you can do is go rest (AHA! Saw your comment on my Naruto post recently!

You know, Jaz…sometimes what we need to progress at what we’re doing is stop what we’re doing for one second. I don’t mean forever. I mean for one second, and by one second I don’t mean that advice of ‘go take a walk and take a fresh breath and then try again’, nope. I mean, three days, two weeks, one month. Not just a minute or an hour. 

Creating isn’t meant to give you a hard time, and it definitely isn’t meant to depress you. Art is meant to be a way to express our feelings, not to worsen them. Art, indeed, has never meant to be a way to heal; what heals us is to vent out our feelings,w hich we do through art, but art as itself isn’t mean for the task. Same for the other way around, it can transmit great negativity, but it’s never meant to build it. And if you’re getting some out of it, then you need to stop.

We have limits. Physical, emotional, in every way we have limits. That includes the limits of our creative process. As much as we love creating, we’re not meant to do it 24/7. Nobody is meant to do anything 24/7 other than blinking and breathing and existing, but no activity is meant for such amounts of time. You tire yourself. And what do you expect to happen when you exhaust yourself but destruction?

Think of it like a physical challenge. Imagine writing is running, and you’re training to jump into the junior leagues or whatever the first professional round is called. So you, OBVIOUSLY, go to train, right? And what do you do to get better and faster at running? Well, you practice. You run. So you run and you run and you run. And then you hit your limits, that point where the muscles are at one movement of breaking and your lungs are all stressed and you as a whole are feeling terrible.

BUT RUNNING IS YOUR PASSION,R IGHT??? AND IF IT’S YOUR PASSION AND YOU WANT TO GET REALLY GOOD AT IT, YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE EVERY DAY ALL DAY, RIGHT?

So you keep going and going.

And I assume you know the whole mess that happens then,r ight?

This whole thing about how…when you keep going after you hit your limits, you start having a backwards effect. Instead of getting faster, you’re getting slower. Instead of running better, you’re starting to stumble. Instead of getting healthier, you’re damaging your lungs, heart, other organs, and your muscles. And when the time to race comes, you’re so worn out, that you don’t make it 5 meters past the starting line before you’re already wasted.

…same for writing and any other creative process, Jaz, my dear.

You can’t push yourself too hard for too long. There’s limits. Writing every day is super healthy, but not for too long that it starts stressing you and depressing you. Sometimes, writer blocks hit randomly or for this or that. But you know what I think is happening to you, specifically? That you’re over-worrying about the book, and you’re so nervous, and you’re working too hard in it, that your brain went “That’s it, I can’t take more. I need a break from this specific thing”, and of course, naturally, it shut your writing spirits down.

And if you keep insisting on breaking it yourself, you’ll only worsen it, because we CAN’T fight against the brain’s orders! Brain wouldn’t block something if it wasn’t for OUR health. And if you insist on trying to write and write and write and write, you’ll be hitting that metal wall your brain set, and when it weakens, brain will put a SECOND, thicker, stronger barrier, and a third and a fourth AND HOW DO YOU PLAN ON BREAKING DOWN FOUR UNBREAKABLE BARRIERS, HM?

Your brain knows you’re tired. It knows this is poisoning you…your brain is only trying to block what it’s started to identify as an enemy. Don’t insist on making it worse. And don’t make of writing your enemy. Writing is an ally, a friend, a sister, a mother, a deity of its own, and it needs respect and love. Not your brain’s hatred.

And I tell you all this from experience. Why do you think the Beauty and the Beast updates take so long in between? I’m rather fast at writing (my long asks show it), so 15k is a thing of 2 or 3 days for me. So why aren’t updates weekly? 

Because I learned all this the bad way. Because I was starting to let writing, my dearest beloved art, transform into a poisoning monster that ate me. I wasted and exhausted myself worrying too much, writing too much, and giving too much, until I started doing it by force, like something that I feared but still had to do, until writing was not my friend but my owner. And no one owns no one here. You and your writing are friends. Should be friends.

Maybe you didn’t notice, because I didn’t say it explicitly, but the fic’s updates were relatively fast, and the one day I started playing Comrades and everything I talked about was Comrades, and then Dragon Age, and the updates were slower. It was because I learned that only when I stop can I continue, as ironic as it sounds. 

And sometimes it happens to specific things. Right now I’m VERY motivated for the Corqi fic, but when it’s about my ask requests or Iggy and the Beast, I’ve got to take these breaks in between. Because my asks had that effect on me too. I would answer 12k to each, sometimes 2 a day, every day…of course I exhausted myself beyond the limits.

So that’s my current advice to you, because it feels like you’re on this one specific problem, Jaz.

I wouldn’t know when it’s the ‘right’ time to come back. I don’t think there’s one specific ‘right time’. So long you let yourself rest as much as you need, then you can go try take the computer and open the document again. If, even before you write one word, it weighs in your mood, you’re not ready yet. So go back to take a break from this project, then come back some other day and try again. 

And I forgot to say, remember creators are always their greatest and toughest judge...and know that you can’t see your work as everybody else does, because you saw it grow. You remember its ugly stages. You can’t see the real beauty of it. It’s okay to correct as many things as you need to feel comfortable, but know that there’s not a thing like ‘perfect’. Not one thing is except math. But when it comes to art? Not a thing is perfect. Especially not to the artist/creator.

Remember, and I tell you this because many art and music and theatre and literature teachers told me in my high school, your art is always a thousand times more beautiful than you can see. It’s not advice or encouragement. It’s a fact.

And those are my advices to you, dear Jaz. I’m really excited and proud knowing you’ve taken up on such a journey, but I worry you may turn it into poison. Do not. Long journeys need good rests, or you’ll stay stuck in the middle and won’t reach the goal, right? So you take it easy. There’s no deadlines. There’s no pressure other than your own. Take it easy; create for the outside, don’t destroy on the inside.

Dear Jaz, I hope to hear from you again regarding this. And if this doesn’t work, you tell me and I try to figure something else out, because, as a reminder, I’m no expert and can only talk from experience!! But it’s okay. If the solution that works for me doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean you’re broken. We just operate differently and you need another sort of medicine, and we’ll look for it together if needed, okay?

Thank you for the good wishes and the trust, dear Jaz. And thanks for giving me a chance to put my thoughts in order (I just wrote ‘my orders into thought’ lmao) and to let me reflex!!

I wish the best for you and that original book. I bet it’s going to be phenomenal. :)

Greatest of success, dear Jaz! I hope you’re having a most beautiful night! Lots of raccoon hugs to you, my dear friend.