#he kept looking at me with his huge wet sad brown eyes

[l4verq]

fight back | b.b

bucky barnes x enhanced!reader

in which bucky won’t lay a hand on you no matter what :(

tags : a little brawl, fluff cause icanthelpmyself, mentions of blood, john walker (idk if we're supposed to like him now ??) bucky is a cat lady okk

fic : one shot

a/n : inspired by that scene in the final ep of tfatws when karli is screaming at sam to fight back lol😳

|| gif by @unearthlydust ||

-

one world, one people.

you repeat it in your head one more time, when he comes into view, vibranium gleaming onyx with loops of gold.

you know that he knows you’re here, back to the wall a few feet away, peeking at him.

he doesn’t know that you let him know.

doesn’t know that you laid out a trap and just like the foolish mouse, he walked right into the lion’s den.

although you’re not sure who the fool actually is, when you meet his eyes, knees almost buckling at the sight just cause of how long it’s been without them.

“y/n.” he breathes out, almost in disbelief.

it’s been fourteen months since he woke up to an empty bed and a handwritten goodbye letter folded in a clean white envelope, tucked under a pillow still marked by the soft indentation of your head.

fourteen months since you took off in the dead of night, pulling your- his hood over your head, the cold wind nipping at your skin, almost like it was punishing you.

maybe, it saw what you did.

oh, but fred definitely saw what you did, that damn cat always followed you two around even though it’s owner was the blonde next door. her name wasn’t even fred, bucky came up with it after the third time it snuck into the apartment.

he swore he hated it but always seemed to have a treat lying around in case it did come.

and it did, a lot. neglected by it’s owner, it chose to seek comfort in the couple next door, and sometimes a meal or two.

“sorry, no treat today bub.”

fred scowled - honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if an actual human was living in it - mewling as it came up to you for the usual chin rubs and cooes.

you sighed, caving into it’s antics, squatting to pet it.

cradling it’s head into your palm, she was purring, a very uncommon sight. fred doesn’t purr, she scratches and hisses at anything and everything that moves.

“you’re particularly nice today.” you commented, getting up. it mewled even louder this time but you turned on your heels and headed for the stairs.

you were already late.

your legs picked up pace quickly, easily crossing multiple blocks over in a few long strides owing to the blue serum coursing through your veins.

though your mind remained stationary, fixated on a single face, how it’d crumble at the sight of the letter, how he’d probably end up hating you.

“took you long enough.”

her auburn locks were tied into a loose braid that curved around her neck, the tip sat just below her collarbone, a piss poor job held together by a thin maroon colored band.

it was quintessentially her, the lack of utter patience to spend two minutes looping three knots of hair one over the other.

you jogged over to the other side of the black suv, noticing a stark white rectangle where a liscence plate should be.

“he’s knocked out cold,” you asked as soon as you grabbed the door handle open, “how?”

lazropthalein.

it came in the mail in a brown package, no return address. bucky wasn’t home, he had a scheduled therapy session down the block.

just a pinch is enough.

the text from the unknown number read.

it had no odour, a clean, white colour to it that blended in seamlessly with the flour.

“you baked without me?” bucky gasped, dramatically, hand covering his gaping mouth. his other hand carried two plastic bags, filled to the brim, a purple razor was poking out the top.

he even had to drop the poor bags on the floor, just to emphasize the utter shock he felt.

“i got bored.” you giggled, wiping the countertop with a wet cloth, remnants of flour on the sleek marble turning goopy under it.

“traitor.”

“it’s just cupcakes.”

“still a cake.”

you sighed, “you’re a five year old.”

he huffed, trudging towards the living room, shoulders hunched to really hone in on just how devastating this was for him.

“don’t i get a hug?” you held your arms out, making grabby hands, following him.

apparently, the devastation was to the point where he had to bring out the big guns, the sad baby blues.

the act lasted for another minute? at best. hours later, he was happily munching away.

“i know why it tastes so good.” he moaned, smacking his lips.

your smile faltered a little, did he kn- no, there’s no way he could have known. you burned that little plastic bag as soon as you dumped a pinch in.

“yea?”

he grinned, popping the last bit left in “it was made with your love.”

“how did it work?” your voice rose several octaves higher, amplified further by the cool, silent night.

drugs and sedatives don’t work on supersoldiers yet a certain blue eyed one was back home, unmoving even if you screamed right into his ears.

“dr wilfred, he invented it. the power broker wanted something to balance out our,” she flared her hands at both of you, “super-soldierness, so that we don’t have an upper hand when all’s said and done.”

would the either of you even be alive when all was said and done?

“look, i know you didn’t want to do this but james, he won’t understand. he’s not one o-..”

“yea, can we jus- let’s just get out of here.” you get in beside her, whipping the seatbelt over your torso.

the car was stuffy, felt like a choke around your neck that only seemed to tighten more and more.

“if we go now, there’s no coming back.” she glances at you, hand curled over the gearstick ready to position it in place.

she was giving you an out, one last chance. karli was a lot of things and having a heart inside that cold, bitchy exterior was one.

“i know.”

you sunk deeper into your seat, the hoodie had a faint smell of burnt toast and that cologne which was on sale, almost half off if you cut out the taxes.

it smelled like him, too much like him.

until it didn’t after a few days. but you still slept with it, just outright refusing to wash it despite karli’s snarky remarks about hygiene.

hygiene could go fuck herself, for all you know.

compared to the motels and basements you guys shifted around in, that hoodie was a doctor’s scrubs.

when the moon hung low on the black sky, you tried not to think about him too much. the silence didn’t help, you needed something to drown out your thoughts. that’s when the ‘socialising’ with the other flag smashers started. they were nice.

nice cause you were the leader’s little sister. but also a huge fucking liability because of a certain supersoldier hot on their heels in search of you, ruining every goddamn plan so their niceness was.. limited.

karli was a natural when it came to it, all of it. the talking, rallying of supporters - fuck, she just had a way with words. she could make you believe she hung up the stars in the sky.

probably how she convinced you that holding a room chock full of council members hostage right smack in the middle of nyc was a good idea.

the only idea, more precisely.

you guys had the upper hand, more than a handful supersoldiers at your disposal, capable of taking down the entire military force if you so pleased.

the only playing card they had was one supersoldier, who was better off distracted, kept off the field.

so who better to send to do the deed than the love of his life.

“fred had a baby. multiple babies, spawn of the devil if you ask me. always running around, thrashing the place up.” he takes small steps towards you, slow and calculated, as if a lion stalking around a prey.

“you shouldn’t be here.” you lie through your teeth, a tiny white compared to the ones that’ve rolled off your tongue before.

“i think the neighbours call me a cat lady now,” his eyes shift around and he leans in to whisper, “they haven’t even seen my knitting skills yet.”

“stop.” you think you said it or much rather whispered it, your voice was failing you. he’s getting close, too close for your liking so why aren’t you backing away from him?

“fred misses you, you know. she wonders where you went.” he smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

the hairs on your neck shoot up, a slight twitch of your brow. the way bucky’s ear perk up, you realise it’s not just you and him here anymore.

someone else has arrived.

“i’ve got it handled, john.” bucky turns around, plants him directly infront of you, blocking john’s view of you.

sure enough, it’s john limping in, a nasty gash across his chest.

your blood runs cold because this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.

john isn’t supposed to be here, he’s supposed to be fighting.. oh god. you notice the various splatters of blood on his cowl, on his boot, on his shield.

it’s too much blood from a guy who’s barely bleeding.

“really? i was thinking you should do more than just talk.” he spits on the ground and wipes his mouth.

you notice, the spit’s all blood too.

“i’m giving you a chance to walk away, right now.”

john snorts, leaning sideways to get a view of you, neck craned out.

“and leave this prize all to yourself?” he grins, “i’d be an idiot.”

“you have a death wish then.” you lift your chin a little higher, praying your quickening heartbeat doesn’t give away your calm exterior.

john whistles, grimacing as he straightens, “so, she does talk.”

you scowl, crossing your arms.

he’s in bad shape. he has no chance, not that he ever did even in his best shape. he knows that too yet he’s still here. that sends a chill up your spine.

“go, i got this.” bucky tips his head, glancing at you.

“i don’t need you to save me.” you hiss at him, which comes out a little harsher than you intended. an apology dies in your throat as he flinches just the slightest.

“trouble in paradise?” john’s barely finished saying it before he’s reached behind his back and swinging the vibranium

you hear it before you see it stopped mid air by a gloved hand. then you charge.

it’s all a hazy mix of blue and red until your fist connects with his jaw, sound of something breaking ringing in your ear.

something pulls your waist back, a grip far too strong to be just flesh.

“go, i’ll ta-..” bucky’s barely said anything before an upward cut from john connects to his neck, violent coughs ensuing.

you grip john’s arm before he’s even retracted it back, jump up his back, settling around his neck and twist until you hear a crack and a bloodcurling scream following suit.

he whips his head back right into your stomach, seizes that moment when the wind knocks out of you to pull you by your hair off him.

“i told you to go.” bucky growls, kicking john right in the shin that makes him kneel and you almost fall off but you keep your fingers tightly looped around john’s hair, pulling as hard you can.

but he’s relentless.

your head hits something hard and you realise you’re on the ground now, legs loosely around john’s shoulders, him also on the ground.

it’s like the both of you realise at the same time but you’re quicker. your legs tighten around his neck, against the spot where a thick neck muscle throbs. he claws desperately around, straining for oxygen

soon, his hands lull down, the dull thud on the ground confirming his unconsciousness.

“are you hurt?” bucky’s hovering over you, seemingly unfazed by john’s neck in a chokehold by your legs right now.

you reject his hand he extends and push yourself off the gravelly concrete on to your feet.

“this was a mistake.” you trail off, saying it more to your own self.

you weren’t the lion, you were the stupid fox who thought it was.

stupid enough to believe you were over bucky and that everything wouldn’t come rushing back as soon as you laid eyes on him.

he whips you around by your hand and before you know it, he’s already caught your other fist heading for his sternum. you barely feel the grip, it’s soft, just so incredibly soft and fits so right.

you hate it.

rage bubbles inside you, mostly at yourself. partly at him because he’s not screaming at you or slamming you against the wall or jus- anything.

you wrench your hand away, land a swing which he does nothing to block. his grip on your other hand loosens and he still does nothing when another hit to the jaw leaves him staggering,

instead, he looks at you softly as if resigning himself to your anger, to let it simmer off.

“fight back!” you scream, outstretched palms pushing him back.

he stumbles a few steps back, hands reaching out to yours resting on his chest, fingers intertwining yours tightly.

“stop.” it’s a soft plead, tears spiking the corners of his eyes.

“hit me!” you’re practically begging at this point, thrashing your arms around.

his hands grapple at your shoulders, bringing you to his chest, “it’s okay.”

he smells so sweet, just so sweet that you almost believe him.

“i drugged you and i left you and i-,” you inhale sharply, “i killed so many people, bucky.”

the last fourteen months had escalated quickly from doing what’s right to doing what’s needed, lines blurred between moral ethics and survival.

“it’s okay.” he repeats, hand patting your hair, gentle and soothing. your body betrays you, sinking into his touch, his warmth.

“you should hate me.” you whimper.

you wouldn’t blame him if he did. you doubt he could hate you more than you already did yourself.

he pulls back, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “i couldn’t if i tried.”

god, why does he have to be so.. bucky?

frustated, you spit out, “this? this was a distraction to separate you and sam.”

you don’t say it but it’s understood, understood that you wouldn’t have met him if not for it.

the inner corners of his brows angle up slightly, a ghost of a smile on his lips, “i know.”

your breath hitches, if he knows then wh-

“then, why..?”

you finally look up at him, vision blurry because of the stupid tears pooling at your eyes.

his thumb wipes away a tear dribbling down your cheek, the coldness of the metal a clear contrast to the warm moisture, “you know why.”

-

a/n : this one’s been sitting pretty, collecting cobwebs in my drafts so thought i’d take it out lol, also haven’t been posting fics in a whileeee cause im dumb and i’ve been working on multiple things all at once lol yea this is me rambling and also i just wanna say that i. love. folklore. sm. that whole album has me crying and sad and just :((

[pennylanewrites]

HELLO!! I rarely see any jearmin stuff ,, more eremin hcs really,, and I was hoping you could maybe please write some jearmin angst or give jearmin headcanons if you don’t mind!! 🙏😵‍💫💖

thank you for requesting anon! here’s 1.1k words of jearmin angst (with a somewhat decent ending) because I felt like crying tonight<3

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

All I know is suddenly without you, the bed feels too big.

Jean Kirstein wakes up every morning on the left side of the bed. Arms tight around a cold pillow, feet entangled with a cyan blue blanket. Jean drags his feet to the bathroom, he takes the pink toothbrush out of the glass, uses the remainder of a spearmint toothpaste. The note on the mirror reminds him to get groceries after work, a little heart at the end of the note. He did get those groceries, one month and nineteen days ago, but the fridge was empty now. And so was the chair by the window that looked out to the sea, so were half the shelves on the oak bookcase, and three of the drawers in his bedroom.

“Jean, look! My article was published on this magazine!”

“Congrats, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.”

Jean read that article and every other of the same author, every night before bed. He found warmth and peace in the author’s words, the ones written at least; because the last ones said to him cut him like knives.

It was such a stupid fight, about Jean working overtime, or maybe it was about him being away for months to write his book, because why did he want to be away from me? That’s all Jean wondered when he left their cottage by the sea, to go to a secluded cabin and continue his writing. He’s the one who wanted this house, the one who wanted to leave the city, so why was he going back now, insisting Jean kept the cottage?

Jean would drink his morning coffee and then crawl back to bed. He hadn’t changed the sheets since he left. He knew it was unsanitary, but he didn’t feel dirty in the slightest. His smell had fainted away from the pillowcase and from the closed drawers, but Jean made sure to only use his cherry shampoo and body wash, only use his forgotten perfume that smelled exactly like the ocean when at its calmest. He sprayed it all over the house, especially on the cyan blanket he wrapped around him. He would light the vanilla-scented candles in the living room, leaving them to burn until the scent made him dizzy.

A daily phone call from Connie or Sasha would wake Jean from his trancelike state, he would laugh with them, they would ask him how he was and he would say he’s doing better. When the phone call ends, he bursts in tears, cuddling the pillow on the right side of the bed, cyan blanket covering his torso.

This time, it was a knock on the door that broke his eternal pondering. Stumbling out of the bedroom, still in his old shirt, though very small on Jean, he opened the front door. Expecting to see Connie and Sasha, he rubbed his eyes vigorously, hand signing for them to get in. Until he heard his voice.

They stared at each other for what felt like eternity. Bloodshot brown eyes met bright blue ones, until the latter spoke again. Jean could barely understand what he was saying, but he was letting him in, closing the door behind him with a creak.

“This is yours. I took it with me accidentally.” Jean looked down at a brown sweater, one that he barely remembered.

“Oh.” Was all he managed to blurt out. He felt so stupid and a huge lump on his throat made his voice higher than usual. He must have noticed, because the smile he gave Jean looked sad.

“The weather is starting to get cold here, so I thought you would need it.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, hands fidgeting with the sweater he accepted before he placed it on the kitchen table.

“Jean-”

“Armin...Sorry. Please go on.” Jean knew his tone was giving him away, every voice crack making his tears threaten to fall. Armin tucked a piece of blond hair behind his ear before clearing his throat to speak.

“Please attend Eren’s party next week.”

“I can’t.” Jean had tried so many times. Every time they invited him out, he would sit in his car and watch Armin go in the house of that day’s hang out, or the bar, the restaurant, wherever, and then drove back to the cottage again.

“Everyone misses you.” Armin mumbled, now fidgeting with a ring on his thumb. Jean noticed his ring finger was red at the base and that suddenly made him feel somewhat better. It meant Armin took it off before coming over. After all, Jean hadn’t taken the engagement ring off either. It sat on his ring finger proudly, only being removed during showers.

“Do you?”

“Jean-”

“Do you miss me, Armin? Do you miss this house? Do you miss the ocean, our bed-”

“I don’t.”

“You’re lying.” Jean muttered through gritted teeth. His vision was blurry and his cheeks suddenly felt hot and wet. Why was he crying so much? Why couldn’t he stop sobbing? Why was he on the floor, knees brought to his chest, hugging them?

And what was that weight he suddenly felt on his back? Whose arms were wrapped around him, wiping tears away? Was it Armin? Was it just an illusion?

“I’m lying, Jean.” A voice, as if coming from far away, drowned by Jean’s sobs. “I didn’t want to return your sweater. It smelled too much like you. I thought maybe, if I come here the house would also smell like you. But it doesn’t smell like anything at all.” Armin’s voice was also cracking now, tears mixing with Jean’s as he rested his cheek against the taller man’s.

“Everyone’s house has a different scent, doesn’t it? But you can’t smell your own home’s scent. You’re home, Armin.”

“I’m home?”

“Please say you’re home. I’ll make everything better. I’ll be so much better. For you. For your book. I’ll take you to every sea in the world, I’ll take you to the moon if you decide you want to be an astronaut instead.”

“Jean?” Armin’s voice, sweet as if it was dripping with honey, stopped Jean’s sobbing nonsense for a moment. Brown eyes met blue ones again, this time barely making out each other’s shapes, yet Jean found Armin so beautiful, even blurry as he was.

“Yes?”

“I’m home. I’m so sorry.”

“I love you. Thank you, thank you, Armin.” Jean’s tears stained Armin’s button-up shirt, but a smile still escaped his lips, for the first time in one month and nineteen days.

“I love you too, Jean Kirstein. Forever and always.”

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

[tom-holland-parker]

Champagne Problems

Summary: Tom asked you a life changing question but you can’t give the right answer. 

Pairing: Tom x reader

Warning: Themes of mental health issues such as depression and Eating disorders

Word count: 1481

Note: Inspired by champagne Problems by Taylor Swift. 

Masterlist

///////

You sat on the uncomfortable cushioned seats waiting for the train to move. The thoughts in your head found their way to the hallowed out pain in your chest. Your throat dry, but your face still wet from the tears. You knew this feeling too well. Numb

As the train began to move you watched the bustling crowds on the platform become small. The train wasn’t full and if you were being honest you preferred it that way. It gave you time to think. Time to sit and feel hurt. You fought with yourself trying your best to stay awake. Every time you close your eyes it’s the same face.

His face.

Funny how in a few short hours you can find your whole life turned upside down. 

---

“My family is really excited to see you” Your boyfriend said as you wrapped his red flannel around your body. The November breeze was colder today, setting the tone for the terrible thing you were planning to do. You put on your best smile as you walked to the passenger side of his car. “Yeah I can’t wait to see them again. It’s been so long” 

Tom was nervous. You didn’t know why but you kept telling yourself it was nothing. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe he knew you were planning on breaking his heart. Maybe he was just waiting for it to happen. 

The second you reached his parents party the guilt inside of you multiplied. How could you be cold to someone so warm? “Y/N I’ve missed you” Tom’s mother said as she pulled you into her warm embrace “I keep telling Tom to bring you around more but he always says your busy” 

“Yeah well my new job has really kept me on my toes” You lied. Truly your job schedule wasn’t busy but you didn’t want to make things awkward by telling her the reason you hadn’t come around in 3 months was because you’ve been in the biggest depressive episode ever.  “Well at least you’re here now” She smiled as she moved back to talk to the guest. 

You felt Tom's hand meet yours again squeezing it tightly before he leaned it placing a small kiss on your cheek. “You look lovely tonight” He whispered. You chuckled looking you into his soft brown eyes, “Not as lovely as you” You joked as Harry walked towards you. 

“Y/N You look great” He complimented looking down at your black dress, “Do you mind if I borrow Tom real quick?” You nodded your head grabbing a glass of champagne from the table next to you. Him and Tom walked away whispering among themselves.

“Do my eyes deceive me or is that really Y/N?” You turned around when you heard Harrisons voice. He smiled taking another sip of his beer. “Hi Harrison” You rolled your eyes leaning in for a hug.”

“I see you're enjoying the champagne. Sam and Harry picked it just for tonight. It broke their wallets” He chuckled putting his empty beer bottle down to pick up a glass of the Dom Pérignon. You talked for a while catching up on the small things. He learned about your new promotion and you learned about the girl he’d been talking to. It was the small things like this that really kept you grounded. 

Tom returned shortly with a huge grin plastered on his face as he wrapped his arm around your waist. “Care for a dance love?” He asked shyly as Harrison chuckled. You put down your glass and grabbed his hand as a slow song began to play. 

“Have I told you that you look beautiful tonight darling?” He pulled you in closer as you rested your head on his shoulder, unable to hold eye contact. The lump of guilt in your stomach grew bigger. It wasn’t that you didn’t love Tom. You loved him with your entire heart. He was truly the love of your life. It's just you didn’t love yourself. You felt that you were holding him back from all that he could accomplish. 

While he tried his best to be supportive when you couldn’t leave your bed, or when you didn’t eat. Even when you spent most of your day sleeping. He was always by your side. It made you feel terrible every time he cancelled plans to stay with you. You could see the slight sadness in his eyes every time you had your ‘bad days’. It was unfair. That’s why you were doing it 

“About 100 times since you first saw me tonight” you chuckled. 

“And I’ll tell you 100 more times” He kissed your temple softly as you swayed side to side. One by one couples left the dance floor until it was just you and him. Tom shifted his position pulling away from you gently. “Tom?” You asked unsure of the sudden change in his mood. 

He grabbed your hand gently looking to his left to see his family staring at you both before turning back to you. “Y/N I want to ask you something” He cleared his throat as his grip on your hand tightened. Your eyes widened as he began to bend down, getting on one knee. “Y/N Y/L/N I have known you for three amazing years. You’re the love of my life. I love you and I want to make you a part of my family” 

He paused for a moment reaching in his pocket to pull out a small box. Tears flooded your eyes as he opened it exposing the ring his mother always wore. “This ring has been in my family for generations and I want you to have it. Will you marry me?” 

The lump in your throat prevented you from talking. You stood there frozen as the rest of the crowd waited for your answer. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see the pain in his face when he hears your answer. “Tom I love you but I can’t marry you”. Your voice was barely above a whisper but in the quiet room it was heard everywhere. 

You opened your eyes when you heard him gasp. The look of sadness and shock on his face when you gently pulled your hand away. It was unbearable. Your instincts told you to walk away but your feet stood planted on the grown as he slowly got back up. “I don’t understand” His voice cracked. “Did I do something wrong?”

A second wave of tears poured down your face as he moved to touch your cheek. You looked away staring at anything else except him. Harrison and his family stood there in shock. Your stomach dropped when you realized this would be the last you ever saw of them. They wouldn’t want you in their lives after what you’re doing tonight. “Can we talk somewhere else?” You say quietly looking down at your shoes. He nodded his head grabbing your hand to move you into the other room. “Baby what’s wrong? Did I do something?” He had tears forming in his eyes. 

“No Tom you didn’t do anything wrong” You took a deep breath trying your best to put your feelings into words. “I just can’t marry you because it wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserve so much more than I give you” 

“What are you talking about?” He sounded baffled at what you had said. You wiped your tears from your cheeks as more slowly came down. “Tom one day you’re going to find someone who will be able to give you the same amount of the love that you give them. And they’ll make up for the hurt I’ve caused” 

“I don’t want anyone else, I just want you. Why can't you see that?” His voice was filled with pain as he moved closer to you grabbing your hand, “I love you” 

“Tom I love you too it's just-” You were at a loss of words. “It’s just what Y/N?” His voice grew louder but still had hints of sadness.

“I’m holding you back. I know you don’t think I am but it’s true. You’ve missed so many opportunities because of me and my problems. It’s unfair to you. I need to work on myself alone. I love you but I can’t marry Tom” This was gonna be hard to do but the proposal made it even worse. “I’m sorry” 

He stood there frozen as you grabbed your bag and walked out the room. A whisper broke out through the crowd as you walked to the front door.

She would’ve made such a lovely bride. 

It’s a shame she’s fucked in the head

By the time you reached the front door Tom had walked back into the crowded area. His family comforting him was the last image you had as you walked out the door.

[karmelek-writes]

comfort zone I part 3

Harrison Osterfield x fem!reader, Tom Holland x fem!reader

Synopsis: What do you do when you love them but want someone else?

Word count: 4,5k

Warnings: angst, swearing, suggestive comments, mentions of sex, smut, adult themes

A/N: Hey guys! This is part three of the "comfort zone". I wanted to thank you all again for supporting me and commenting, reblogging, and liking the series! Also, sorry for the delay. The next part will come out on Friday, as usual. Let me know what you think of this part! (sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language plus this part wasn't proofreaded)

Love, W 🖤

When you entered Tom's bedroom you immediately felt your tensed body softening as the smell of Tom intoxicated your senses. There wasn't another place on this earth you felt more comfortable in than his room. It wasn't big but the cream-painted walls and huge mirror in the middle made it seem vaster. There wasn't much furniture, just all the necessities, but you had to admit that Tom had been keeping his room clean and fresh. It was typical, yet lego Death Star set and spiderman figures arranged neatly on a bedside table screamed Tom. You kept teasing him about this but in reality, you found it endearing. The souvenirs he brought home from the places he had visited were dusting on the shelf, reminding him of good old days having fun on set and hanging out with the cast after work. What always got your attention was his cartoon figure leaning on the wall next to his bed. He got it for his birthday after landing the role of spiderman as a joke from Harrison, his brothers, and you. Even when Tom was younger everyone knew he was born to act. His family and friends would tease him about it calling him a movie star which always made him fuss around. When he finally made it to Hollywood, you all knew what you had to do. You told him that you all had a surprise purposely hyping it up. Judging by his reaction you expected him to throw it out but he kept it. At times Tom was a nerd but it made you like him even more because despite becoming a literal movie star, he never stopped being this little cute boy who still slept in spiderman pj's he was gifted on his 19th birthday.

The cartoon figure was what you were looking at when Tom cleared his throat and locked the door. The action made you turn around to glance at him with confusion written all over your face. His focused gaze and sudden shift of behaviour confirmed your suspicion that it was going to be a serious conversation.

"So… Are we going to talk about what happened?" Tom's nervous voice rang in your ears making your heart rate speed up. You knew that was the moment you had to confront him about your feelings. “Because for the last couple of days I’ve been thinking about everything. I would hate to leave like that.”

“I know,” you sighed mentally preparing yourself to recite the speech you’ve created in your mind in advance. “Look, ever since I met you I feel like my life has gotten better. I never thought I would have such an amazing person in my life,” in the corner of your eye you saw Tom smiling excitedly at your compliment. His honey-brown eyes were sparkling and you had to stop yourself from hugging him and running your hand through his messy curls. “What happened between us was sudden and I’ve said it already, I don’t regret it. Actually, I’m quite happy with how things turned out,” you chucked at the end hoping it would relieve the stress and hesitation in your voice. Your words were all that brunette needed to confirm that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. In the room illuminated by the moonlight, Tom’s silhouette moved closer to you. Having approached you, he touched your exposed arm and traced his fingers up so gently as if he was scared he would break you if he pushed harder. His hand on your body caused shivers to appear and a slight flush crept into your cheeks. You hated and loved the contact silently hoping he would give you more. It seemed like your thoughts were heard as Tom slowly but confidently started to walk you backwards until you fell on his unmade bed. He leaned as close as he could, placing both arms on the sides of your head making it impossible for you to escape.

"I don't want to leave you here," he fussed, highly aware that the next few weeks were going to be hell without you lulling him to sleep, inquisitively going on and on about your day. Resisting the urge to pout you tried to overcome the feeling of sadness slowly accumulating in your chest.

"And I don't want you to leave," a deep sigh escaped your lips, pushing back the thought of him flying away the following day. "But we are here now, so what are you going to do about it?" you extended your arm to grasp Tom's messy curls, daring him to cross the boundary unconsciously set up the moment you've become friends to dive in the pleasure. Tom didn't give you a verbal answer, but knowing that actions speak louder than words, he lowered himself to place a soft kiss on the crook of your neck. The cracked lips caused a wave of shivers to run down your spine, your stomach dropping as you felt sudden wetness between your legs. Mixed with the wet marks left by Tom's tongue, the sensation made your eyes shut, spots emerging in front of them. All your senses were keen, escalating the intensity of the experience.

Tom was determined to work you up as he unhurriedly worshiped your body. A deep moan followed by a throaty “fuck” were the sounds at which you opened your eyes. Your longing stare met Tom’s one and you could swear right then, right there you had never seen a more mesmerising sight. Brunette’s once soft strands now had stuck to his forehead glistening from the sweat. His usually pale cheeks were now painted deep pink - a result of his unholy thoughts combined with the sight of your perfectly shaped body. Eyes dark with desire, hungry to capture every inch of your figure. You noticed beads of sweat dripping on your already wet chest, your shirt clinging to your torso enhancing curves you’d work so hard on at the gym. Lifting yourself on your elbows you signed to Tom to help you strip. You weren’t a self-conscious person, nor were you hesitant to show your figure, but you didn’t like to preen yourself on it. However, you felt the rush of confidence wash over as you caught Tom lustful ogling and wanted to take control of the situation. Shifting from underneath you poked Tom’s chest and pushed him to lay down. Foggy mind and the burn you’d felt on the skin still were dislimning your senses causing you to clumsily collapse at the top of Tom in your attempt to straddle him. Silent ouchs followed by a breathy laugh falling from the boy’s lips made your heart clunch in embarrassment. Much to your surprise, he kissed you as if he wanted to assure you that he didn’t find your awkwardness unnerving. In the few seconds of your make-out session, you recomposed yourself and broke the kiss wanting more as the throbbing between your legs became unbearable.

In the heat of a moment, you took off your bra leaving your breasts exposed for Tom to admire. You didn’t miss how his pupils dilated and his mouth went dry just by gaping at you. This fueled up your nerve leaving no place for doubt and hesitation in your mind. Shamelessly, you rocked your hips against his own at a slow pace. Grunts and scratchy moans could be heard, falling from Tom’s lips like prayers begging for your pleasure. With his eyes shut and fists clenched, he couldn’t look more beautiful, more vulnerable, falling into pieces for you. Finding pleasure in the position and the power you hold over him, you let yourself get lost in the bliss of his hard cock sliding through your folds, the tip teasing your sensitive clit in a steady motion. Wrapping his arm around your waist, Tom lifted himself until he was on an eye level with your chest, his mouth immediately clinging to your breasts, tongue swirling around your hardened nipple. Slowing down your pace, you cupped Tom's face and connected your lips in an aggressive kiss, teeth brushing and tongues intertwined. Fighting for dominance, Tom flipped you so that he was on top. Groaning, you brought him impossibly close leaving no space between your sweaty and hot bodies. Tom's little whimpers were more often now that he was thrusting into your hips, trying to bring himself closer to the limit. Knowing you couldn't last much longer you moved your hand to slip it into your undergarment only for Tom to stop you to do it himself. He licked his fingertips and shoved it into your panties, rubbing your clit in circles.

“That’s okay, cum for me baby,” Tom muttered, trying hard to catch his breath. Completely lost in the moment, you obeyed his command and let go of the tight knot that formed in your stomach. The sensation of Tom’s body pressing against you and his fingers playing with the heart of your femininity caused you to almost black out, starts appearing in front of your eyes. Letting out a pornographic moan, you tried to arch your back gripping the sheets so hard your skin turned white. You couldn’t tell for how long you were wiggling under your best friend’s body but it felt like hours until you were able to get back to reality.

Coming down from your high you took notice of a wet stain on Tom’s trousers. You opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off offering you some fresh clothes and a glass of water. Not thinking much, you accepted his little acts of care and walked past him to change in the bathroom.

Having closed the door, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and tried to calm your racing heart. While you were getting dressed Tom was silently freaking out. He could’t believe that you went this far. It still felt like a dream to him. At that moment he hated his lifestyle, he hated his profession that required him to fly away the following morning, splitting you up in the worst time. Maybe he could convince you to go with him? No, it was crazy. You had your life here, it wouldn’t be fair to take it away.

Tom’s running thoughts were cut off by the click of the door followed by your silhouette emerging from the room with a small smile. Tom returned the gesture and nodded at the bed, silently asking if you wanted to lay down with him. Getting back on the soft mattres, you let out a sigh contemplating if you should bring up your feelings. Truthfully speaking, you didn’t know how to act and it seemed like so did Tom. He sat down at the foot of the bed, facing away from you. He was scratching the nape of his neck - a habit that always betrayed his nervosity. He then suddenly stopped and it seemed like he came to terms with himself as he turned around to look at you with tears threatening to fall from his eyes and imperceptibly bleeding lip. He had to bite it to prevent it from trembling but the pressure was hard enough to rip the fragile skin of an organ. You couldn’t read anything from the look on his face and it scared you. Not thinking much you embraced him from behind placing your forehead against the side of his face. You wanted him to feel you, to detect that you were there for him.

“I-I don’t want to l-leave,” a broken stutter left his lips, repeating the words he had used before.

“I know, but people expect you to go,” you whispered to him, slowly rocking you two from side to side to the sound of the clock tickling and driving cars coming from outside the window.

“Tell me something that will make me stay,” his words echoed in the quiet room, so desperate and calling for help. Not thinking much you blurred out the first thing that came to your mind.

“I think I’m falling in love with you and that scares me but I don’t want you to go either,” before you got a chance to register your confession, Tom wrenched himself away from you to see if you were serious. He definitely wasn’t in the mood for jokes so when he identified your stoned expression he knew you meant every single word. Suddenly, a way of regret and pity washed over him, not being sure how to tell you the truth without breaking your heart.

“I… That’s… Um…” he tried to initiate the conversation but his mind was so fogged from regret and miscomprehension.

“You don’t feel the same?” you more of stated with so much heartbreak in your voice it took everything in Tom not to lie and tell you he’s always loved you to fix his mistakes. He stopped himself from it because you deserved something better than that. On the spur of the moment, he cupped your face hoping it would help him get to you easier.

“I love you, I really do but…” he couldn’t finish the sentence. It would kill him to watch your face fall with disappointment and sorrow, let down by the only guy who promised to cherish you forever.

“You don’t have to say anything more. I understand,” pushing Tom away from you, you got up making your way to the door wishing to get away from him as soon as possible. You were hurt beyond your expectations. All of the little moments you shared, the kiss, tonight, it meant nothing. You were livid at yourself, you didn’t know for what more - being so stupid to believe that he could ever love you or that he would ever want you for something more than just an easy fuck. Fueled by the sudden anger you turned to Tom with disgust painted all over your face. “Was I just a girl you wanted to try for a day and dump? Was I just good fun for you? Did you have fun playing with me?”

“God, no! I didn’t mean it to happen! I just did and I’m sorry, okay? Just please sit down and let me explain,” you were extremely angry but you needed answers so you stayed in your place, waiting for Tom to continue. “I tried so hard to love you. It just never felt right like there was something missing and I-I don’t k-know what it is but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you. I do love you, can’t you see that?” you didn’t reply for a few seconds and Tom started to get nervous. “Please, say something.”

“Can you try again?” you asked in a small voice. You kept your arms around yourself feeling uncomfortable out of the blue, your black socks suddenly becoming amusing sight to look at.

“Can I try what again?” confusion was evident in Tom’s tone. He knew he was losing you and he needed to do everything to keep you by his side.

“Try to love me.” silence filled the room as you asked the unfortunate question hoping for the answer you already knew you couldn’t get. But it was worth trying, wasn’t it?

“I’m sorry but I don’t think I can,” the words were hard for Tom to get out, a lump forming in his throat.

“Okay,” was all you muttered and at that moment Tom realised he fucked up. “I should go already, it’s late and you have to catch an early plane so…” you trailed hoping that he will get a hint.

“Please, wait!” he ran up to you as you were to exit his bedroom to wrap his arms around you in one last hug before he would leave. “I will keep calling every day, I don’t care if you don’t pick up or block my number. I will always try to get to you. You’re my oxygen, I need you,” if you were in a different situation Tom’s deep sobs would make your heart ache and feel sorry for him, rushing to lighten up his mood but now you didn’t have any of those thoughts. You just felt numb at his praying, a strange feeling settling in your stomach feeling his touch.

“Please, don’t become a stranger,” Was Tom selfish? Yes, but desperate situations require desperate attempts.

Freeing yourself from the brunette's tight embrace, you looked him in the eye for the last time and left the room wishing him good luck at his new job. He didn’t try and call for you, nor did he run after you. He stared at you silently tiptoeing downstairs avoiding contact with other people. You needed to talk about everything like adults but he knew you needed time and he was willing to give you that. He just wished he wasn’t leaving.

================================================

“Okay so… do you think we have all the stuff we need?” Harrison looked at you, having put your bag in the backseat.

“Yeah, granted that you didn’t forget to bring your big ego” you tried to joke and lift the mood but you knew it didn’t work when Harrison made a face at you. Since your not-so-nice exchange with Tom, you haven’t been in a pleasant mood. You knew that what he did wasn’t cool, but that didn’t stop you from missing him. You took off your phone, glancing at it for the twentieth time in the past thirty minutes only to see that you haven’t gotten any notifications. He said he would call. You felt stupid waiting for the guy who clearly didn’t want you and didn’t even bother to talk things out with you. You must have stared at your phone for a little too long because you heard Harrison clear his throat and saw him giving you a knowing look. You only rolled your eyes and put your phone back in your pocket.

“You can’t keep doing this, you know?” the blonde tried to take up a conversation with you. He knew something was up between you and Tom. He knew when you would stop smiling at him when he cracked jokes or when you stopped mentioning Tom in your conversations, or when he noticed Tom tensing at every mention of your name. He tried to get any pieces of information from his best friend but the brunette would always say that you were busy and that it wasn’t his business. Maybe it wasn’t Harrison’s place to be noisy but he had to admit that your careless aura was making him worry. Even when you were upset you acted more lively than now. He was aware that the matter was serious, he just didn’t know how to make it better… and he wanted to make it better for you.

During the last few weeks, your relationship progressed. Since Tom was constantly working, he didn’t have much time to call or text. And even if he did it seemed as if he wanted to spend it with other people. You couldn’t make out what went wrong in your relationship but you knew it was serious when Tom stopped making any effort. You’ve never seen him acting so indifferent towards you and it scared you. However, the lack of interaction between you two brought you closer to Harrison. You almost forgot how significant part of your life he was. Despite your sour mood, you enjoyed the time spent with him. He always made you laugh and feel needed. Your banter didn’t stop but it has changed into something softer and domestic. You found out that you didn’t mind it at all. Harrison still would do little things to drive you insane like casually tracing his fingers along your neck while putting a loose strain of your hair behind your ear or lowering his hand a bit too much than necessary while hugging you but it didn’t seem so unfamiliar and strange anymore. Talking to him almost daily, you learned to be more comfortable around him. To the point where you would hold his hand sometimes and stay over at his apartment after a long session of studying. That, however, didn’t mean that you couldn’t be playful. You knew that Harrison was as invested in your little game as you were. The rules may have changed a bit but it was still on. You had no idea what it meant for your friendship but it was too intoxicating to stop. Now that Tom was not there you could let yourself fully focus on it. You loved the feeling of uncertainty and on the other hand, you wanted to see how far you could push Harrison’s buttons. You were curious how much of it he could handle and if he would snap at some point. You couldn’t help yourself but subtly torture him with your slight touches during movie nights or walking around without a bra. You liked how worked up he always got. He would try to keep it together and act classy in front of you but eventually, you would catch him checking you out. In a way, it all felt wrong but all his attention was on you and you couldn’t help but feel good having this power over him.

When you got in the car you put on some music and looked outside the window. You didn’t want to talk to Harrison about your issues, especially not your issues with Tom so you tried to ignore his questions. Harrison, on the other hand, couldn’t find a way to make you open up to him. You two talked but he also wanted to support you when you weren’t feeling like you could handle things yourself. He remembered how Tom would complain about you being too secretive, even though you’ve known each other for years. That’s how he knew he would have to work hard for you to warm up to him. But that was the effort he wanted to put in. In the blonde’s eyes, you were the most intriguing person he has ever met. You two first came across in the cafe he worked at. You used to go there for some tea every day after classes during your first year. He’s been watching you for some time before trying to talk to you. One day his colleague dared him to get your number after he caught Harrison drooling over you during his break. So he gathered the courage and shot his shot. You two talked until the end of his break. He tried to get your number but you gave him your Instagram account instead. Soon you started to text each other and became really good friends. He would ask for your number a few more times but you always rejected him telling him to work for it. Harrison laughed to himself and shook his head. Even at the beginning of your friendship, you bossed him around.

“What’s so funny?” you asked, a bit confused by his sudden outburst.

“I just remembered how you used to reject me when we first met.” he turned to give you a small smile and started the engine.

“Oh yeah… You were desperate,” you smirked at him, knowing it would cause a good reaction and you weren’t wrong. Harrison gasped, abruptly turning to face you with fake hurt painted on his face.

“I wasn’t desperate! I just saw a pretty girl and wanted to take her out on a date but you were playing hard to get so you lost your chance,” he said it so casually you thought you didn’t hear him right.

“You evidently hadn’t worked hard enough,” you shrugged as if you didn’t care but in reality, your heart rate has sped up. You hoped that Harrison couldn’t hear your shallow breath. You never knew he wanted to take you out on a date and you didn’t know how you felt about it. The thought of him liking you more than just a friend brought butterflies in your stomach to life, making your whole body shiver. Maybe he wanted to take you on a date before. That doesn’t mean he’s still into you.

“So what should I do to get you to agree to go on a date with me?” the knot in your stomach tightened as his voice dropped down an octave. Was it possible he was still interested after all this time?

“I thought I lost my chance,” trying to keep it cool you exhaled softly hoping that the blonde didn’t notice how you squirmed lightly in your seat.

“Well… It depends,” he moved a little bit closer to you catching eye contact.

“On what?” you whispered gently trying not to raise your voice in fear that you would interrupt the moment.

Harrison’s voice matched yours as he whispered “How hard you can work after,” Noticing your disgusted look, he started to laugh deeply.

“Oh God, your jokes are so poor,” you shook your head at him, not finding his joke amusing.

“Oh come on, I know you’ve been dreaming about it,” he wiggled his eyebrows at you. Maybe, just maybe you have thought of it once or twice but you’d rather die than admit it to him. "Besides my jokes aren't half as bad as yours"

“Whatever, Osterfield,” you tried to turn around and fasten your seat belt not in the mood to argue but he stopped your actions again.

“Hey look... I want you to have fun today, okay?” his voice softened as he took your hand in his and started to caress your palm. “I know we joke a lot and stuff.. But I really want to give you something to remember, a memory you would always smile at when thinking of it… or when thinking of me,” he chuckled as if he thought he was never on your mind. Oh, how wrong was he. “Just forget about everything and enjoy the moment. Can you do that for me?” you thought you would melt under his gaze. He was looking at you so lovingly with a dazzling smile that couldn’t make you disagree with him. You felt like his ocean blue eyes were piercing your soul, taking your breath away. After a moment you realised that you could look into them for hours memorising the way his pupils dilated when he was looking at you.

“A-alright, I will.” you stuttered but still smiled at him and held eye contact. You didn’t know it was possible but his grin got even bigger causing you to do the same.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise,” he smiled at you for the last time and turned around to start driving. Harrison said he planned something special for you. You didn’t know what the evening was about to bring but you knew you were screwed.

Taglist: @osterfieldshollandgirl, @tom-holland-is-spiderman-archive, @harryhollandsgirlfriend, @peachyafshawn

[ijustwant2write]

Grow Up Fast-Fred Weasley x Reader

(GIF credit to @hogwartsfansite​)

Part 2

Tags: @obsessedwithrandomthings​

Masterlist

Prompts List

Requested by anonymous: 'Ohhh your one-shots are amazing! Could you do a cute Fred Weasley one where a baby is abandon near the shop and they Adopt it because the reader and Fred got to attached'

Characters: Fred Weasley x Reader (married), George Weasley x Reader (brother-in-law)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Abandonment/Neglect, adoption/orphanage, lots and lots of fluff

                                       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I placed my hand over my stomach as I felt it rumble, thinking about what I would have for dinner tonight. It had been a long day in the shop, it was becoming busy now, especially with all the children getting ready to go back to Hogwarts. Sighing, I passed by George who had just finished with a customer, deciding that now would be a good time to start cleaning up if we wanted to go home soon.

“I’m going to start tidying up. Call if you need anything.” I explained, receiving a nod from my brother-in-law.

Heading into the stock room, I spotted the pile of cardboard that needed to be taken out to the bins. Although I was tired, I mustered up all of the energy I had left, managing to carry it all outside. Once it had been dumped, I brushed my hands against each other to get rid of any dirt when I heard a strange sound. Freezing on the spot, I listened out once again, hearing a muffled cry. I couldn’t be sure what it was, taking out my wand in case it was something dangerous. Perhaps it was an animal that had escaped one of the shops and had smelt the food thrown out. Slowly and cautiously, I stepped towards the noise, quickly pulling back a piece of cardboard and pointing my wand in that direction, gasping when I saw what was laying there.

A baby lazily swaddled up wriggled around, crying out louder now. I was stunned, not expecting this. Putting my wand away, I carefully picked them up, wrapping the baby up tighter. It was a boy, he couldn’t be older than a few months old, but it wasn’t a newborn. He was still small, and I wondered how long he had been out here. It was cold and wet, he would have surely died if left out here any longer. Going back into the stock room, I perched on a crate, struggling to take off my jacket as I held him, but once off I wrapped it around the baby, providing extra warmth. He wasn’t wailing anymore, he had stopped once he was in my arms. He snuggled his face against me, holding onto as much warmth as he could. Who could leave a baby to defend for itself like this? 

“(Y/N), are you back here?” Fred called out to me, shock showing on his face as soon as he spotted me.

“It’s not mine.” I stupidly said.

Fred’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, unsure what question to ask first. His eyes remained on the baby as he approached, still baffled by the sight before him.

“(Y/N), what’s going on here?” he finally said.

“I found him by the bins. He was underneath some cardboard, there was no note, there was nothing but this blanket he’s wrapped up in.”

“We’re going to have to call someone, someone official.”

“Can someone come help out here, I would like to go home soon...” George burst in, his words trailing off when he saw what was happening.“Well you kept that quiet, you hardly even showed (Y/N).”

“He’s so cold.” I mumbled, holding the baby closer.

“Poor little fella.” George joined us, smiling down at the child.“Look, let’s shut shop early, then we’ll call around, see who can help us.”

I remained where I was, starting to walk around and rock the child to keep him content. His big, brown eyes stared up at me, he had such lovely eyelashes. For someone who had been left out for who knows how long, he had small smile on his face the entire time. The twins managed to close without me, only Fred returning.

“George is trying to figure out who to contact. No doubt he’ll be taken to an orphanage.” Fred said, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“He’s not made a sound since you left. I didn’t want him to fall asleep either, he’s just so frail.”

“Here, I’ll hold him for a bit.” 

Passing over the baby, I realised how careful we were being, never having actually handled a baby like this before. The shock of finding him had clouded my mind, and now it was clearing once I saw my husband holding the baby. It was quite a sight, this tall man holding someone so tiny in his long arms. Of course we had discussed creating our own family, but that was further down the line. However, I couldn’t help but melt at the sight, imagining this was our own boy. Fred’s toothy grin was contagious, especially when he started cooing and speaking to the baby.

“It looks so natural on you.” I pointed out, standing beside him.

He glanced down at me.“I thought the same thing when I saw you.”

“Fred, are we-”

“Someone has contacted one of the local orphanages, the won’t be able to come for a few hours though. I gave them your home address to pick him up from, is that alright?” George interrupted.

“That’s fine Georgie.” Fred nodded, starting to walk around with the baby.

“I’ll get our things.” I offered, heading back into the shop where our coats were hanging behind the counter.

George followed behind, and I saw out of the corner of my eye that he had a huge grin on his face. As I put on my coat, picking up my scarf, I watched him do the same, though he was almost laughing.

“What’s tickled you Georgie?” I asked, wrapping my scarf around my neck.

“I’m not amused by anything, it was just nice seeing what my brother’s future is going to be like.”

“That’s very sweet.”

“You look great you know, as a family. I know you’re waiting but,you two are going to be great parents.”

“And our children are going to have the best uncle.”

It felt extremely weird to bring a baby home. Luckily there were no neighbours around, it would be a strange story to tell. Fred had wanted to hold him the whole time, and I found it funny that I was becoming a little jealous. I wanted to hold him again. We laid the baby on the bed, grabbing another blanket to lay him down on as well as wrap him in. I took my jacket away, throwing it on top of the pile of washing that needed to be done. Sitting either side of the baby, we found ourselves just staring at him. My hunger from earlier was all but gone, I couldn’t think about anything else.

The baby was flickering his eyes between the both of us, closely watching. It was amazing how infatuated we were, I could watch him all day. He was just too cute. And I loved the adoration in Fred’s eyes, and how he had looked when he held the baby. 

“I wish we had some food to give him.” I frowned, lightly tracing the baby’s soft cheek with my finger.

“He hasn’t started crying again, though I’m worried that’s because he’s weak.” Fred sighed.

“Why would someone just leave him out there?” my breath was shaky, remembering how he looked when I found him.“I understand if people are struggling, but they could have given him to an orphanage.”

“Don’t cry love.” Fred breathed out, getting upset himself, he held one of my hands.

“I’m sorry it’s just so sad. He’s such a beautiful baby boy, I could never leave him, even walking out to get my coat made me feel guilty for leaving him behind.”

“Should we wash him? He’s very dirty.”

“Maybe. I’ve never washed a baby before.”

“How hard could it be?”

“I’ve seen people do it in sinks, should we do that?”

Fred went to fill up the sink with water and find some sort of soap that wouldn’t irritate the baby. For some reason, I laid down beside the baby, giggling when he looked at me and smiled. He was gurgling now, making funny noises as if he was trying to communicate. I spoke to him in a high pitched voice, laughing along with him. As the baby continued wriggling around, kicking his legs erratically, I felt someone watching as. Glancing at the doorway, Fred was stood there, smiling again.

“His bath is ready.” he pointed out, rolling up his sleeves as he left.

“Come on you, let’s get you nice and clean.” I said to the babe, lifting him into my arms once again.

The three of us were laughing non-stop as we bathed the baby. He enjoyed the water, and not being in full control of his limbs, he splashed the water about everywhere. Fred and I were soaked, but it didn’t matter. Fred grabbed a towel, wrapping up the baby and creating a hood for him, it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I went to get changed, putting on comfy (dry) clothes before I went to swap with Fred. However, as I returned, I realised how quiet it was, melting at the sight I saw in the living room. Fred was relaxed across the sofa with the baby resting on his chest, both of them falling asleep. I didn’t want to ruin the moment; unfortunately it was when there was a knock at the door. My heat sunk as they stirred, and I went to answer the door, realising that it was time to say goodbye. 

A woman was here, she showed me her official badge, thanking me as I let her in. She seemed lovely, very warm and welcoming. I lead her to where Fred was. He was awake, but still cuddling the baby.

“Oh, you two seem to have everything handled here.” the woman said.

“He’s been no bother at all.” Fred explained, not looking at her. 

“Well, cuddle time isn’t over yet, I’ve got some questions about how you found him. Also, I’ve brought him something to drink, I bet the poor thing is starving. It’ll give him some nourishment.”

“That’s good news.”

“Fred, why don’t you get him a clean blanket to wrap him up in. He’ll catch a cold otherwise.” I suggested, sitting down with the woman as he left.

“Have you got any children of your own?” she asked.

“Oh, no we don’t, not yet.”

“Well, you’re both very natural. You both looked very solemn when I arrived. 

“Thank you. And I’m sorry, that was nothing against you obviously. It’s just been...nice to see what the future may look like.”

I answered all of her questions as Fred returned, sitting beside me and feeding the baby. Sometimes I had to repeat questions to him, he was too distracted, even after the baby was done feeding. Time seemed to fly by, because soon enough, the woman was ready to leave. Standing beside Fred, I sadly let him hand over the baby, the woman placing him in a carrier, before saying her goodbyes, thanking us again. We waited by the door, waiting until she had disappeared completely before closing the door. The baby had been sound asleep again, unknowing that he was being taken away. Fred remained silent as he slumped towards the bedroom, and it did seem like something was missing now.

As I followed my husband, I noticed the woman had left a business card behind, for an adoption agency. The name was in beautiful writing, being re-written over and over, her details on the other side. Fiddling with it in my hands, I thought back to what she had said; we looked like naturals. 

Fred and I had hardly said a word to each other as we got ready for bed, even when we were laying down together, his head resting on my chest as I brushed back his ginger hair. All of the lights were off, the sound of rain hitting the window being the only thing I could concentrate on. I sighed before speaking.

“He was lucky we found him.” 

“He was lucky you found him.” he pointed out.

“It was fun, wasn’t it? Even if it was small amount of time.”

“Yeah, he was still a cheeky little thing.”

I kissed his head.“You looked great you know. I...I really enjoyed seeing you with a baby, it was like I had a peek at what we would look like as parents.”

“I was thinking the exact same thing. I know we said we would wait a while but...”

“I mean, we could...”

“Do you...do you feel guilty about him?”

“Thinking about having a baby when we just found a baby who needs a home?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes, I do.”

“(Y/N),” Fred propped himself up, now looking down at me,“it’s pretty clear we’re on the same page here.”

I laughed.“You really want to adopt him?”

“I just have this feeling about him.”

“No, you’re attached to him.”

He chuckled.“I guess I am.”

“That’s not a bad thing. She did leave a card, we could contact them in the morning.”

“Looks like it was fate.”

I smirked.“If we’re going to be having a baby soon, we should probably make the most of our last nights together.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you were a bad influence on me.”

“We might be responsible parents soon, let’s live a little before that happens.” 

[demoneyesanddamagedsouls]

Ok so I’ve been trying to find a fic like this somewhere but it’s kinda weird so I haven’t seen any- just like Din and you living together on the crest for a while and your always wearing pants/long sleeves even when it’s hot, and one day he sees you after you come out of thfresher wearing a short sleeve shirt and notices self harm scars 🥺 and he’s really concerned at first because he doesn’t quite know what they are but then he figures it out and he tries to listen to you and your story/ past.

Hi there Anon!

First off, thank you so much for being my first ever fic request!

Secondly, oh my goodness I love this prompt! This is something I have struggled with as well so I loved writing how I picture Din reacting to finding out and looking after you.

I really hope you enjoy my interpretation of this fic! Please let me know if you have any feedback for me as well. I’m always open to critique! And if you ever need anyone to talk to, I am always here, please know you never have to face this alone. ❤️❤️❤️

***

The Strength of You

Pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Gender Neutral! Reader

Warnings: Triggering Topics. Self harm scars, revealing & touching of scars, talking about self harming

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Steam filled your senses as you felt the boiling water run through your hair. You hummed to yourself as you washed off the grease and grime of the day in the small fresher. It had been a long day of fixing small parts on the ship and greasing tough gears, you were exhausted but your mind was full. It had been almost a week since you’d seen Din and your sadness weighed on your heart, you missed him dearly. He had kissed you on the forehead and left 5 days ago saying that this could be a longer hunt as the bounty he was chasing was cunning and smart, unlike some of the more hopeless ones he had to find. You recalled the soft touch of his lips on your skin as you pictured his soft smile.

Turning off the shower and hopping out slowly, you picked up your towel and dried yourself off. Pulling on your cargo shorts and a t-shirt that was just a little too big for you, you turned your eyes to yourself reflected in the mirror. This wasn’t something you usually wore, normally opting for some more covered and conservative attire, and it made you feel a little uncomfortable and exposed, so you were fiddling with the edges of the shirt sleeves attempting to pull them down lower. No one’s going to see you, you’re not going to be leaving the ship, you thought to yourself. Not that you really did when Din was on a hunt unless you and the little one ran out of food or you needed certain parts or tools for a particularly tough job. Anyway it was laundry day, and you were just going to have to deal with it. Sighing to yourself you leant down to pick up your holster with the small gun resting inside. You always kept it on you in case you needed it, especially with the type of people Din usually had to deal with. Suddenly you hear some small coos coming from further away in the ship. You roll your eyes to yourself. That adorable little gremlin can’t give you 5 minutes of your own space for a quick shower. You chuckle to yourself.

“Coming little one!” You call out as you quickly buckle your holster to your hip. Dashing out to go find your impatient little baby you close the fresher door behind you and spin around, coming face to face with the masked Mandalorian. The little baby was held in his arms, a small hand wrapped around his leather gloved finger. You freeze in a panic, your face paralysed in shock. He was home early. You’d be ecstatic to see him so soon if you weren’t dressed like you were. Exposed. He had never seen you without your usual long sleeves and pants. Even in the darkness of many nights on the ship you’d kept yourself covered. Din had never pushed you to do anything you didn’t want to do and becoming more exposed was included in that. Just as you had never pushed him to remove his helmet. There was a mutual understanding and respect between you. After many months together as you and Din had grown closer, he had begun to take his mask off around you. He wanted you to see his face, he wanted to be able to see yours without the obstruction of the helmet. He wanted to kiss you, rest his chin in the crook of your neck as he held you close. You didn’t know why you couldn’t bring yourself to show him more of yourself. But it seemed that fate had taken matters into its own hands.

Din swiftly comes to meet you, excited to see you after such a long hunt especially considering he had received bad information. The bounty hadn’t been on this planet, so he’d returned to the ship empty handed and missing your smile and your gentle touch. The little green baby resting in the crook of his elbow, his eyes meet yours behind the mask. He noticed the panicked expression on your face and his happiness dissipated, swiftly changing to concern. Immediately worried about your safety he looked you over, all of a sudden noticing your attire. This was the most he’d ever seen of you. His eyes flick to the scars littering the length of your forearms and along the top of your thighs.

His concern is instantly mixed with anger. “Who did this to you? I knew I shouldn’t have been gone that long… What happened?” Din says his voice modulated by the helmet, but even still you could hear the rage rising in his tone. You don’t respond, your mouth is dry, and your head is spinning. He reaches for the blaster on his hip with one hand as he holds the little baby in the other. “Who did this? Who could have hurt you like this?!” His voice reaches a fever pitch and out of instinct you start backing away pulling yourself into the security of the wall behind you, moving away from the Mandalorian in front of you, seething with anger. You knew it wasn’t directed at you but you needed to get away from his anger, it was only making you panic more, your heartbeat quickly rising.

Din’s focus flicks back to you as he sees you moving away, away from him. Shaking his head, frustrated at himself, he starts to walk slowly towards you.

You keep your eyes trained on the floor trying to calm yourself as you watch his feet move towards you, boots clicking on the metal floor. Inches away from your face you hear him slowly remove his helmet, the hiss of the vacuum seal unlocking and the metal clanging to the floor, his gloves quickly following. Raising your eyes, you meet his deep brown ones, full of worry and anguish, his little brown curls resting haphazardly across his face and his brows furrowed in concern, highlighting the soft lines of age across his sharp features. As you look at each other the baby reaches out for you, making a small noise to get your attention. You smile softly at him and pull him into your embrace, resting him on your arm. As you hold onto the little one Din takes your other arm and looks it over, brushing his calloused fingers across your forearm and the raised scars that adorn your soft skin. Following the trail he kneels down to analyse the markings on your upper thighs. Lightly gripping your thighs in his warm palms, he brushes across your skin, softly caressing you with his bare thumbs. Keeping his hands rested where they were Din looks back up at you a forlorn expression across his features. You release the breath you didn’t realise you were holding as you meet his gaze. He didn’t have to say anything, his eyes simply said I’m here for you. Taking a deep breath, you gather up the courage to tell him everything you’d been holding back. Holding back from the man that you loved.

“Din I- I did this to myself… it was something that I used to cope with everything I was feeling.” The words tumbling out of your mouth, like a dam breaking, filling up the void of noise with your words. “I felt like I was spinning out of control and this was the only way I could ground myself. Its how I used to distract myself from the overwhelming amount of emotional pain I was feeling.” You look deep into his eyes as you continue, tears starting to spill out down your cheeks, “I felt stupid, lonely and worthless, drifting through space never knowing where to go or what to do, uncertain of everything I did. I didn’t know how to vent these emotions, so I took it out on myself. I felt so useless, and I wanted to punish myself for that.” You pause looking at Din through a glassy tear-filled vision. “I’ve never had someone who cared enough about me to talk about this. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this sooner, but I was scared… scared of losing you…” You whisper, your own words catching in your throat.

A stray tear rolled down Din’s cheek as he reached up to wipe some of the wetness off your face, water welling up in the corner of his eyes. Your heart falls to pieces at the sight. The strongest man you knew, well the strongest man in the whole galaxy, and here he was, knelt in front of you weeping at the words that you had just shared with him. “Little one… don’t you see? These are your battle scars, they make you who you are!” He smiles up at you softly, “It means you fought and fought, but you got back up. You’re a survivor… just like me…” He trails off, his gaze full of love and adoration as he looks up at you. A smile breaks out across your face, full of relief at finally relieving the weight of this huge burden off of your chest. For the first time in your life you had someone to share in everything, someone to confide in, someone to be your true self around.

You kneel slowly, baby still curled up in your arm making gentle snoring noises, to join him there on the floor. Taking his cheek into your hand, you place a gentle kiss on his soft lips. He pulls you in closer and deepens it, trying to express all the love he felt in his heart, all his admiration for you, for the strength you had. Both of you getting lost in the emotion of it all. You both pull away inhaling softly as you both catch your breath, holding each other’s gaze.

“You are so strong my little one… cyar’ika how could you possibly think I wouldn’t love every part of you? You never have to hide yourself from me. You’re so beautiful, so brave… I could live forever in the sunshine that you radiate every day.” A warm smile spreading across his face, revealing the soft dimples that adorned his cheeks. Resting his hand on the top of your leg, just below your shorts, he caresses your skin once more. Reassuring you with his gentle touch. “These scars are just as beautiful as the rest of you, because they’re a part of you. I love you my cyare. You’re my everything…”

[mirkwoodshewolf]

My little Panther; T’Challa x POC!child reader

*Author’s note*

The world is devastated right now. I had read the news last night and I’ve done my mourning, now it’s time for the tribute. I’ve had this on my Wattpad for a good couple of years but never transferred it to here. But hearing the loss of Chadwick, I knew I had to finally post this fic onto my tumblr so that you all can have a read of it. 

We all miss you Chadwick and you were taken away from us FAR. TOO. EARLY. But you didn’t let your cancer define you, you kept working and helped bring such an iconic character to life, as well as sharing the stories of SO. MANY. REAL. LIFE. PEOPLE (Marshall and Jackie Robinson) to screens worldwide. You will be deeply missed and will always be an inspiration to everyone. You and Stan ‘the man’ Lee are once again together in Heaven awaiting for the rest of the Avengers to Assemble.

Long. Live. King. Chadwick. Boseman.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@queensdivas​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@platawnic​

____________________________________________________________

I was hiding within the den eating the food that my mother had collected. All I remember from my old home was fire and death, I remember running to find my parents but then I had gotten lost in the jungle. It was then I came upon a cave, well a den really of a black panther and her cubs. Ever since then I have lived with my mother and three brothers.

I ate the antelope just like my brothers, wrestled like them and slept like them curled up next to my mother's fur. Even though I was different than them and didn't look like them, my mother treated me like I was one of her own and treated me no less. I was currently being bathed by my mother when we heard something outside.

She went on the defense position and gathered me and my brothers up and pushed us closer to the den as she went outside and stalked to whatever it was that was close to our den. I know I shouldn't have but I got curious so I stepped out of the den and peeked over the log to see my mother roaring and swiping her massive paws at another black panther, but this one was different.

This Black Panther mainly stood on two legs, and its fur didn't look like fur and its eyes were not the pure golden cat eyes like my mother's. Mama roared and swiped her paw again at this intruding Black Panther and the other Black Panther backed away and submitted to my mother before turning and walking away but then I saw it look right at me.

I ducked behind the log and raced back into the den just as mother came back inside. She then nudged me towards her back, I got on and soon she led me and my brothers out of the den and we all searched for a new one. Knowing that we had been found, we couldn't stay in the same place for long. Mama always wants us to move if ever any predator found our den in order to ensure our survival.

*T'Challa's POV*

After arriving back to the palace, I couldn't help but think about that child I had seen in the jungle. It was a simple border patrol but what I wasn't aware was that I had stumbled upon a mother panther's den. I had activated my suit just in case but I didn't engage against the mother for I knew she was probably protecting her cubs. That's when I saw the child hiding within the bushes.

After that I had backed away from the mother panther slowly to show her that I wasn't a threat to her or her cubs. Once I was far enough from the den, I decided that it would be best to head back to the palace since there was no sign of trouble, but still my mind kept going back to that child. Who was she? How long has she been in the jungle? Did she have a family?

"Ther. Brother!" My sister's voice snapped me out of my state of mind and she sassed at me, "Did you listen to a word I said?"

"So sorry Shuri, I just—I was thinking about that child".

"A child?"

"Yes, while I was patrolling the jungle to check and make sure our borders were still safe from any weapons traders, I came across this child in the jungle".

"Was she Wakandan?"

"Possible, she definitely wasn't an outsider I know that much".

"I'll see if I can any records on any villages that have been attacked".

"Thank you Shuri". It was then my kimoyo beads activated.

"Ohh your girlfriend calling you?"

"Stop it!" I then allowed the image to come up and up came Okoye.

"My King" she stated.

"What is it Okoye?"

"Trouble by the river province, poachers are approaching the reserve".

"I am on my way". Okoye's image then disappeared. Before I walked out, Shuri stopped me. She then handed me the updated AMP beads.

"Take these with you, they are a much better improvement than the last ones".

"Thank you Shuri". She nodded then I took off running out of the lab.

*My POV*

After finding our new home, I was outside our new den playing with my brothers when I took notice of something shiny just ahead of me. While my two brothers were busy playing with each other and my mother was bathing my other one, I walked away and followed the shiny bright light.

I tried to catch it in my hands but for some reason it didn't want to be caught. I was so caught up in trying to catch the light that I didn't realize that someone was hiding behind the tall grass. As I caught the light one last time, I heard a shot and I was soon caught in a trap.

I cried and snarled out before three men picked me up and one of them spoke.

"She may not be an animal but she'll still sell for a big price".

"Put her in the trunk with the others" another spoke. I thrashed around and let out a cry for help to my Mama. The men put me in this large metal machine and soon took off. I kept crying and crying until I saw my Mama running just behind roaring up at me. She ran faster and faster until she lept in the car.

I tried to reach out for her but the metal trap they put me in kept me from reaching my mama. She managed to get herself in and she walked towards me and used her teeth to free me, but it was then one of the men held a gun in their hands and a loud bang was heard again. Next thing I saw was my mama rolling outside on the ground.

I cried out for her when suddenly the large machine stopped and I along with a few other animals were tossed around.

*3rd Person POV*

The poachers came out of the truck after their car broke down and crashed into a tree. They all complained to each other pointing the blame on the other when the leader silenced them and ordered them to get into defense position.

The men spread out with their guns drawn and as one of them held out his gun he heard a twig snap and turned to see nothing. That was until he looked up and saw a man in a cat suit.

Next thing the poachers, one of their men was tossed at the truck leaving a huge dent in the door. The Black Panther soon showed up and attacked another one of the poachers. T'Challa now stood before the remaining two and as the leader and his second in command were firing at T'Challa. He merely just walked towards them before striking the second in command.

The leader took out his knife and tried to stab T'Challa but he managed to dodge every swing until he grabbed the poacher's hand that was holding the knife and twisted it until he let go and heard it snap. The leader screamed in agony and T'Challa told him venomously.

"Poaching is illegal in these lands, you will be brought before the council and faced with the consequences". T'Challa then knocked the leader unconscious and walked towards the back to see the animals that were inside but was surprised to see another thing in the truck, or rather someone.

It was the child he had seen earlier today.

*My POV*

As I tried to get out of my cage, I saw the same Black Panther that my Mama faced earlier today come around into view. I froze in my spot just staring at him. It was then his panther face disappeared and it showed that he was actually a man.

He had deep dirty brown eyes and fur along his lips and chin and on top of his head. He almost reminded me of a growing lion. As he got closer to me, I snarled and hissed at him trying to be brave like my Mama.

"Easy, easy. I'm not going to hurt you". He held out his hands to me as he slowly came closer and closer to my cage. He then unlocked them and opened it up and proceeded to back away. "It's okay now, come on out now". I sniffed curiously and slowly crawled out of the cage. "That's it, it's okay. I won't hurt you". As I got out of the cage more, I looked between him and my way of escape.

Then like a shot I took off running as fast as I could with the Panther man behind me crying out for me. I raced down the trail until I came to my Mama. She was still down and there was red stuff around her head and fur. I walked up to her and nuzzled her fur and roared out to her. I shook her with my hands and bit into her ear but she still wouldn't wake up.

I roared at her as I felt wetness come down from my eyes then I curled up underneath my mama's paw and nuzzled her head as the wetness continued to come down my face. The Panther man soon came up close to me and I looked up at him and he looked at me with sad eyes.

"I am sorry". He then proceeded to come closer to me and my Mama but I stood over her growling and roaring at him. I let out a hiss but he raised his hands and said to me, "I won't hurt her, I promise". I glared at him. It was because of his kind that my Mama was dead.

Mama always warned us that ape-like creatures called Humans were always to blame for territory loss, stealing our food and killing us to extinction. Now because of his kind, my Mama is gone. But yet looking at his eyes, I felt like I could trust him. I ceased my snarling and just held onto my mama's body.

*T'Challa's POV*

As I looked down at this mother black panther, my heart sunk. She was only trying to save her cub, even though this was a human child, this mother panther looked at her like she was one of her own cubs. For her memory I decided to call this Pantheress "Kamunyak" meaning "Blessed One". I knew it would be dark soon and I had to get this child back to the palace to get her some warmth before the cold settled in.

Wakanda maybe the hottest places in Africa, but its nights are unpredictable. Some nights it would be cool enough to sleep outside, but sometimes they would be so unbearable cold. I gently touched her shoulders and could feel her fighting against me as I picked her up.

"Shhh, shh. Calm down, calm down" I told her in Wakandan. I had to get her calm because I didn't want her to hurt herself. She was raised to believe that she is a panther and I don't want her to bite into my suit and allow the Vibranium to hurt her. I placed her close to my chest and rubbed her back calming her in Wakandan. When it seemed to work, I kept her close and headed back to the jet to take her back to the palace.

When we arrived back at the palace, I had her put in a special room with a bed and warm food so that she could eat real food. And not knowing how long she has been in the jungle or when her last meal was, I took the liberty to give her the best and healthiest foods Wakanda has to offer.

As I observed her, my sister came back with some news. She pulled up on the screen as she stated.

"It turns out this girl comes from a village near Wakanda. It was attacked by some of Klaue's men and burned to the ground. She must've found a way to escape and has been living in the jungle since. How she's managed to survive for 5 years I do not know".

"A Mother panther raised her as one of her own cubs, it would seem Bast herself came down and decided to protect this child as if she were her own". I said out loud.

"You're telling me we have ourselves a Mowgli? Like that story and movie Baba showed us".

"It would seem so Shuri".

"What do you suggest then my King?" Okoye soon stated out.

"She is a child with no family to call her own, and her adoptive mother was shot and killed in front of her. This child needs the best care and only we can offer it".

"Brother are you suggesting that you are going to raise her?"

"I feel responsible for this child's mother's death. I cannot just let her die with no one to take care of her, knowing that we can teach her who she really is". I stated firmly. My general and sister looked at me then Okoye bowed her head and said.

"Just don't freeze when her feral stage comes back".

"What are you talking about? I never freeze" I stated. I then turned my attention back to the girl and decided to talk to her. I opened the door and shut it behind me. She instantly became alert of my presence and she got down in defense position baring her teeth at me. "Easy little one, I am not here to hurt you, may I sit down?" She seemed to understand me which was a good sign, at least then I knew she could understand me.

I took a seat far enough from her but kept my eyes on her in case anything were to happen.

"My name is T'Challa, do you remember your name?" She remained quiet and poked around the fruit and sniffing them like a cat would. I took a deep sigh and told her, "I know losing your Mama was hard, I lost my Baba not too long ago, and I would give anything to save him too. But I swear to you on my Baba's soul and that of your mother's, I will look after you and protect you. You will never be alone". She then looked up at me and I remained still as I saw her actually coming up towards me.

Slowly and cautiously, but sure enough she came right in front of me until she wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled into my chest. I placed my hand on top of her head and stroked her hair and slowly wrapped my arm around her to pick her up and place her in my lap and hold her in my arms as she nuzzled deeper into my chest.

Within several months of teaching and immense patience, I had given her the name (y/n) was soon learning how to be a human girl, learning how to eat properly, how to walk, learning the history of Wakanda, even learning how to speak both in English and Wakandan.

I along with Nakia and Shuri taught her everything she needed to know and were there to give her the love she deserved and needed. As night fell, I tucked (y/n) in after a long day of staying with Auntie Shuri in her lab while I dealt with some political matters after opening up Wakanda to the rest of the world. I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead and whispered to her.

"Goodnight my little panther cub". And as I turned off her light and was about to shut the door, I heard her voice say.

"Goodnight Baba". I let a warm smile take over me as I shut the door behind me and decided to turn in for the night myself.

[soukokuwu]

ADA!DAZAI OSAMU

𝐂𝐎𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

》 slight angst to fluff (dazai x reader)

》 word count: 2k

》 for @qtheronie who requested this: i tried very hard with the fluff i hope you’ll like it~

》 tried to get this in time for Dazai’s birthday— for the other requests i’m still doing them gimme a while okay guys, i’ll do my best (人･∀･)

“if given a choice”

It was different this time, Dazai could tell. Your eyes— those beautiful, radiant eyes of yours, was now tainted full of despair. Your usually positive demeanour was replaced with a somewhat desolate sadness. That smile you donned on just moments ago had vanished, now replaced with a slight frown, expressing obvious discontent.

What was this foreign feeling? Dazai was stunted. As he looked at you, with that uncharacteristic stoic look, he thought back to what had happened earlier.

No, you couldn’t be.

Would you be upset about that? It was something you always claimed to be fine with, were you now going back on your word?

As Dazai removed his coat and threw it on the sofa, he carefully eyed your movements. Those very minuscule movements of yours. You were standing at the doorway of the apartment, rooted to the spot but your right fingers were slightly twitching and your eyes couldn’t find one exact spot on the wooden floor to fixate on.

“What’s wrong?” Dazai asked, slowly moving towards you, stopping only when he realised you took a step back, indicating you didn’t want him to come any closer.

“How do you think I felt earlier, huh?”

Dazai blinked, an understanding slowly coming into mind. So you were upset about that. It was an innocent observation from Atsushi, and a passing remark by Ranpo, meant nothing more than to add to idle chatter. But now he understood that you took it to heart.

As you thought back on how Ranpo and Atsushi commented that no one could truly understand Dazai and know much of his past, you could feel your heart sink. They were right. You barely knew a thing about the man you were dating. You only knew who he was around you, around his friends, but you never knew his train of thought, and how he became the way he is now. You were always aware of this.

Usually you wouldn’t think much of it because you’ve come to terms with the fact that it would take a lot of work to even come close to a fraction of Dazai’s inner workings. But the moment your lover mentioned ‘no one can understand me, and no one ever will’, you felt a rage bubbling inside you.

Not ever? He wouldn’t let you in ever? Then what was all this for? All this effort you were putting in— is it all supposed to be in vain? You didn’t expect to fully get to comprehend the complexity that is Dazai and his life, but you wanted to know there was at least a slim possibility that you two could at least take steps forward to that in the future.

The future. Something Dazai probably would never think of either.

“You... You never had a problem with it before,” was Dazai’s meek reply.

From his tone alone you could tell he was mildly surprised. Why wouldn’t he be? You were usually passive; tame. You didn’t usually get mad, much less actually show it to him. You’d usually keep your cool, handle the problem alone. But this wasn’t something you could take lying down.

“How long will this continue for?”

Dazai knew exactly what this was all about now. He could hear the defeat in your voice. You were trying your best not to cry but he could already see the tears forming in the corners of your eyes. He wanted so desperately to give you an answer, to tell you something that would satisfy you. But he couldn’t. He didn’t know when he could let you in, if he ever could.

“You know I have feelings for you,” was all he could manage to say.

That did nothing but made you scoff in disbelief. Did he think that just because you hated conflict he’d be able to get away with this, especially with such a vague reply? No, you knew what you deserved. You put up with everything insensitive he’s ever done— but this was crossing the line. How could you stay in something that had no future?

It was then that you finally felt like you should’ve given up long ago. Words wouldn’t change him. Nothing you said would make him falter. It could only come from within him, and it looked like he didn’t plan on changing anytime soon, or maybe even at all. So all you could do was just smile at him in utter defeat, turn around, and leave him to his own devices.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It had been a couple of hours already. You still weren’t back and Dazai had exhausted himself trying to go around and find you. He was now back in the apartment, on the sofa, clutching your purse. He was worried sick. You had no phone, no wallet, no anything on yourself. What if something happened to you?

He couldn’t find you at your usual spots. Where could you have gone? Nobody else had seen you.

The frustration was eating up at him. All he could think about was what he could have said to make you feel better. But he also didn’t want to lie to you.

What could he do to convince you to stay?

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

A few more hours into the night.

You turned on the living room light, shocked at what you were hearing.

Dazai sat up on the sofa, removing the pillow covering his face. You squinted a little to get a clearer view of your boyfriend. He looked an absolute mess. His eyes were all red and puffy, his hair disheveled, his heavy breathing the only thing you could hear in the room.

The moment he saw you, Dazai came running over, thrusting both his arms around you, sobbing even more uncontrollably. His shoulders were shaking from his crying and now your shoulder was wet from his tears.

You were stunned, to say the least. Out of all the scenarios you imagined would happen, Dazai having a panic attack was not one of them. His body was shaking from all the crying.

“You’re back,” he cried out between sobs. He kept repeating the words as he fell to the floor, arms hooked around your knees. Dazai was relieved, frustrated and exhausted all at the same time.

Slowly, you sank down next to him, cupping his face with your hands, wiping his tears away with your thumbs. Everything you had planned to say, each single word you devised for a breakup— all of them were thrown out the window. Right now, in this moment, you didn’t want to leave him. You knew he must’ve thought hard about what happened. It was the only reason he would be in such a sorry state.

“I’m here,” you assured him, giving him the best smile you could manage.

“Please stay for me,” Dazai croaked, his head still hung low, tears staining the floor.

“Dazai—”

“No, please hear me out,” Dazai interjected, now looking up to face you. His brown eyes were now more determined than lost. He thought it would be one of the more difficult things he had to do in a relationship, but now, in the face of losing you? Dazai realised how simple it was to be honest.

It took him a while to regain his composure and to speak properly, but you waited anyway. You wanted to hear what he had to say. You wanted to hear something that would make you stay. You still loved him after all.

“I love your smile,” Dazai continued, giving you a soft smile of his own. You subconsciously gave one back, and Dazai moved his hand up to caress your cheek. “I love it when you laugh. I love how you’re always so eager to help others, even if it’s an inconvenience to you.”

You didn’t exactly know where your boyfriend was going with all of this, but you stayed quiet and let him go on, admiring the resolve you saw on his face.

“You infuriate me sometimes when you don’t know you worth. But your humility is also something I admire about you. Thing is, I could list everything I love and hate about you, and I still wouldn’t be able to understand how you’ve got me hooked on you.”

It was then that you realised Dazai was in front of you, trying to let you in. He was trying to let you into his head space, to let you understand his feelings. It would take a lot of work to understand someone as complex as him, but he was willing to put in effort all the same. And at that moment, you were able to feel just how much he didn’t want to lose you.

“Stay for me? I swear I’ll do things different this time, I—”

But before Dazai could finish, his lips were locked in yours, and he fell backwards to the floor as you lunged yourself forward to embrace him. His lips were salty from all his tears but you didn’t mind it. It may have taken a serious fight for him to realise it but for Dazai, this was more than just a huge step forward. And you understood that. You appreciated it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

That night was the night that set a completely different tone for your relationship. Dazai hadn’t felt this comfortable with opening up at all, but for some reason when he told you about his past, about why he attempted, he felt safe. This was a kind of trust he didn’t imagine he could place in anyone, but you were the sole exception.

After the whole ordeal, you and Dazai had taken a bath together, and you kissed his scars, assuring him that it wouldn’t scare you away. It was the first you’ve seen him without any bandages at all, and after seeing your reaction, Dazai didn’t regret letting you be the first to see him this way. Your fingers lightly delved across each scar, as though memorising where each of them were on his body. He nuzzled back against your chest, face buried in your neck, enjoying the moment.

It was slightly after 2am when the two of you had finally gotten out of the bath, and Dazai had asked you to stay the night there, to which you happily complied. You also offered to cook him some pancakes, to which Dazai had showered your face with kisses to show his appreciation.

He hugged you from behind as you washed the dishes, cheekily spraying some water at your face while you did so. You resisted and tried to get back at him only for him to pull you into a dance. You couldn’t contain your laughter at how cheesy he was being.

“Dancing in the kitchen at 3am with no music— really?” you asked him skeptically.

“For someone who seems like she’s complaining you sure know how to move your feet,” he snapped back, smirking down at you.

Before you could make a comeback, he pulled you in for a deep kiss, tongue swirling across your mouth as he savoured the taste of you.

“I don’t want to forget this moment,” he whispered as he pulled away from the kiss, your foreheads touching and eyes closed. The only sound in the room was the sound of you two breathing, both blown away by the kiss.

“Neither do I, Osamu.”

“How about we make a deal?”

“What deal?”

“Stay with me forever, and I will show you every part of me, every single thing you want to see,” Dazai opened his eyes slowly, kissing your eyelids, stunning you into opening them. He continued, looking lovingly into your eyes, “I will bare my all, to you and only you.”

“I was always yours to begin with, and I always will be.”

Dazai didn’t think he could possibly get any happier after hearing those words. Then, before he pulled you into a night of intense passion, he gave you the most genuine smile he ever had as he said, “Don’t you ever forget that, my belladonna. I love you.”

“i will always choose you”

[kookie-doughs]

Y/N L/N AND THE HALFBLOODS

Percy Jackson X Reader -Y/N L/N met Percy Jackson and everything was now ruined.

CHAPTER 4: THE DAY I LOST EVERYTHING

We have to loose them Loose who? He'll take them. Who? We can't save them now. But I want to save them. "Y/N! Focus on running!" My dad yelled who was right behind us. I stopped in the middle of my tracks everyone turned to me. D/N was barking loudly, as if telling me to move. Everyone was telling me to move "I will save you don't worry." I said looking at my parents. "What---" As on cue lightning struck them. They aren't gone They aren't gone We will save them someday We will save them Now run My heart felt empty. I knew I was supposed to be sad, but I wasn't. It was like someone was directing me what I should do. Finally getting in on the car they all looked at me worried D/N nuzzled to my lap, Percy and Grover looked at me emphatically. Mrs Jackson was driving but occasionally glancing at the mirror. We tore through the night along dark country roads. Wind slammed against the Camaro. Rain lashed the windshield. Every time there was a flash of lightning, I looked at Percy sitting next to me and I wondered why I chose to be with him and not feel the weight of loosing my parents. I pulled D/N closer and hugged him. I didn't know what to do. Percy then broke the silence, "So, you and my mom... know each other?" Graver's eyes flitted to the rear view mirror, though there were no cars behind us. "Not exactly," he said. "I mean, we've never met in person. But she knew I was watching you." "Watching me?" "Keeping tabs on you. Making sure you were okay. But I wasn't faking being your friend," he added hastily. "I am your friend." "Urn ... what are you, exactly?" "That doesn't matter right now." "It doesn't matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey—" Grover let out a sharp, throaty "Blaa-ha-ha!" and cried, "Goat!" "What?" "I'm a goat from the waist down." "You just said it didn't matter." "Blaa-ha-ha! There are satyrs who would trample you under hoof for such an insult!" "Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like ... Mr. Brunner's myths?" "Were those old ladies at the fruit stand a myth, Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?" "So you admit there was a Mrs. Dodds!" "Of course." "Then why—" "The less you knew, the fewer monsters you'd attract," Grover said, like that should be perfectly obvious. "We put Mist over the humans' eyes. We hoped you'd think the Kindly One was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are. And not to mention there turns out to be two of you which is worse than what I thought!" "Who I—wait a minute, what do you mean?" The weird bellowing noise rose up again somewhere behind us, closer than before. Whatever was chasing us was still on our trail. "Percy," my mom said, "there's too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you to safety. You and Y/N." "Safety from what? Who's after me?" "Oh, nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. "Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions." "Grover!" "Sorry, Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?" Don't worry. They won't hurt us. Have you thought of who you want to be your parent? We have plenty of options, I'd prefer if it was either Zeus or Hades but I wouldn't mind to be Ares's or Hephaestus's. I guess Athena isn't so bad as well. Who was your Father and mother's favorite? I want my mom and dad... to remain the same... Don't change them. As you wish. We have to leave soon. The moment you go get in the borders, we will loose connection. Who are we? I lied, we're not you. We're only messengers. We don't know when you'll contact yourself. But it's not anytime soon for sure. Only half of the prophecy has been fulfilled after all. But... you came and... told me to stay with Percy. Maybe you did try to make a connection. I only came to ask who you want parent to be. "Y/N!" "Huh?" "Do you know who your parent is? Do you know what's going on?" "What?" "You were talking about Greek gods..." Percy said. "I-I... was?" I asked looking at D/N as if he'd know the answer. "Where are we going?" Percy asked. "The summer camp I told you about." Percy mother's voice was tight. "The place your father wanted to send you." "The place you didn't want me to go." "Please, dear," his mother begged. "This is hard enough. Try to understand. You're in danger." "Because some old ladies cut yarn." "Those weren't old ladies," Grover said. "Those were the Fates. Do you know what it means—the fact they appeared in front of you? They only do that when you're about to ... when someone's about to die." "Whoa. You said 'you.'" "No I didn't. I said 'someone.'" "You meant 'you.' As in me." "I meant you, like 'someone.' Not you, you." "Boys!" Mrs Jackson said. She pulled the wheel hard to the right, and I got a glimpse of a figure she'd swerved to avoid—a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm. "What was that?" I asked. "We're almost there," Percy's mother said, ignoring my question. "Another mile. Please. Please. Please." I didn't know where there was, but I found myself anxious to arrive. I gripped Percy's hand as he leaned forward. Outside, nothing but rain and darkness—the kind of empty countryside you get way out on the tip of Long Island. There was a blinding flash, a jaw-rattling boom!, and our car exploded. I remember feeling weightless, like I was being crushed, fried, and hosed down all at the same time. I don't know how but I wasn't hurt... or didn't know until I saw D/N had grown... bigger. Big enough to hide someone. He had cushioned my fall. "I'm okay boy, thanks." He shrunk and barked. He had a confused look as well as I did. "Percy!" I heard someone shouted. "I'm okay..." I tried to check on Percy. "You sure?" "Yeah..." He replied. The car hadn't really exploded. We'd swerved into a ditch. Our driver's-side doors were wedged in the mud. The roof had cracked open like an eggshell and rain was pouring in. Lightning. That was the only explanation. We'd been blasted right off the road. Next to Percy in the backseat was a big motionless lump. "Grover!" He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. Percy shook his furry hip. Then he groaned "Food," and Percy sighed in relief. "Percy," his mother called, "we have to ..." Her voice faltered. I looked back. In a flash of lightning, through the mud-spattered rear windshield, I saw a figure lumbering toward us on the shoulder of the road. The sight of it made my skin crawl. It was a dark silhouette of a huge guy, like a football player. He seemed to be holding a blanket over his head. His top half was bulky and fuzzy. His upraised hands made it look like he had horns. I swallowed hard. "Who is—" "Percy, Y/N," his mother said, deadly serious. "Get out of the car." Mrs Jackson threw herself against the driver's-side door. It was jammed shut in the mud. I tried mine. Stuck too. I looked up desperately at the hole in the roof. It might've been an exit, but the edges were sizzling and smoking. D/N must've read the situation and jumped out through the roof. "D/N!" He started digging on the mud occasionally barking. "There! Climb out the passenger's side!" Percy's mother told us. "Y/.N, Percy—you two have to run. Do you see that big tree?" "What?" Another flash of lightning, and through the smoking hole in the roof I saw the tree she meant: a huge, White House Christmas tree-sized pine at the crest of the nearest hill. "That's the property line," Percy's mom said. "Get over that hill and you'll see a big farmhouse down in the valley. Run and don't look back. Yell for help. Don't stop until you reach the door." "Mom, you're coming too." Her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean. "No!" Percy shouted. "You are coming with me and Y/N. Help me carry Grover." "Food!" Grover moaned, a little louder. The man with the blanket on his head kept coming toward us, making his grunting, snorting noises. As he got closer, I realized he couldn't be holding a blanket over his head, because his hands—huge meaty hands—were swinging at his sides. There was no blanket. Meaning the bulky, fuzzy mass that was too big to be his head ... was his head. And the points that looked like horns ... "He doesn't want us," my mother told me. "He wants you. Besides, I can't cross the property line." "But..." "We don't have time, Percy. Go. Please." Percy helped me climbed across Grover and I pushed the door open into the rain. "We're all going together. Come on, Mrs Jackson." "I told you—" "Mom! We are not leaving you. Help me with Grover." He didn't wait for her answer. I scrambled outside, Percy was dragging Grover from the car. Together, with Mrs Jackson they draped Grover's arms over our shoulders and started stumbling uphill through wet waist-high grass. I followed carrying D/N in my arms. Glancing back, I got my first clear look at the monster. He was seven feet tall, easy, his arms and legs like something from the cover of Muscle Man magazine—bulging biceps and triceps and a bunch of other 'ceps, all stuffed like baseballs under vein-webbed skin. He wore no clothes except underwear—I mean, bright white Fruit of the Looms—which would've looked funny, except that the top half of his body was so scary. Coarse brown hair started at about his belly button and got thicker as it reached his shoulders. His neck was a mass of muscle and fur leading up to his enormous head, which had a snout as long as my arm, snotty nostrils with a gleaming brass ring, cruel black eyes, and horns—enormous black-and-white horns with points you just couldn't get from an electric sharpener. I recognized the monster, all right. He had been in one of the first stories my parents talked about. But he couldn't be real. I blinked the rain out of my eyes. "That's—" "Pasiphae's son," Percy's mother said. "I wish I'd known how badly they want to kill you." "But he's the Min—" "Don't say his name," she warned. "Names have power." The pine tree was still way too far—a hundred yards uphill at least. I glanced behind me again. The bull-man hunched over our car, looking in the windows—or not looking, exactly. More like snuffling, nuzzling. I wasn't sure why he bothered, since we were only about fifty feet away. "Food?" Grover moaned. "Shhh," Percy told him. "Mom, what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?" "His sight and hearing are terrible," she said. "He goes by smell. But he'll figure out where we are soon enough." As if on cue, the bull-man bellowed in rage. He picked up Gabe's Camaro by the torn roof, the chassis creaking and groaning. He raised the car over his head and threw it down the road. It slammed into the wet asphalt and skidded in a shower of sparks for about half a mile before coming to a stop. The gas tank exploded. "Percy, Y/N," his mom said. "When he sees us, he'll charge. Wait until the last second, then jump out of the way— directly sideways. He can't change directions very well once he's charging. Do you understand?" "How do you know all this?" "I've been worried about an attack for a long time. I should have expected this. I was selfish, keeping you near me. I'm not like (Father's Name) or (Mother's Name), I can't hide you for good." "Keeping me near you? Hide me? But—" Another bellow of rage, and the bull-man started tromping uphill. He'd smelled us. The pine tree was only a few more yards, but the hill was getting steeper and slicker. I could tell the Jackson's were having a hard time with Grover. The bull-man closed in. Another few seconds and he'd be on top of us. Mrs Jackson must've been exhausted, but she shouldered Grover. "Go, Percy! Y/N! Separate! Remember what I said." I didn't want to split up, but I had the feeling she was right—it was our only chance. I sprinted to the left, Percy went the other way, we turned, and saw the creature bearing down on Percy. His black eyes glowed with hate. He reeked like rotten meat. He lowered his head and charged, those razor-sharp horns aimed straight at his chest. The fear in my stomach made me want to bolt, and help Percy but I knew that wouldn't work. So I held my ground, and at the last moment, he jumped to the side. The bull-man stormed past like a freight train, then bellowed with frustration and turned, but not toward Percy this time, toward Mrs Jackson, who was setting Grover down in the grass. Thankfully its like they never saw me. We'd reached the crest of the hill. Down the other side I could see a valley, just as Percy's mother had said, and the lights of a farmhouse glowing yellow through the rain. But that was half a mile away. We'd never make it. The bull-man grunted, pawing the ground. He kept eyeing Mrs Jackson, who was now retreating slowly downhill, back toward the road, trying to lead the monster away from Grover. "Run, Percy! Y/N" she told me. "I can't go any farther. Run!" But Percy just stood there, frozen in fear, as the monster charged her. She tried to sidestep, as she'd told me to do, but the monster had learned his lesson. His hand shot out and grabbed her by the neck as she tried to get away. He lifted her as she struggled, kicking and pummeling the air. "Mom!" I ran towards Percy to try and hold him back. She caught my eyes, managed to choke out one last word: "Go!" Then, with an angry roar, the monster closed his fists around Mrs Jackson's neck, D/N ran to bite the Minotaur's arm but they both dissolved before our eyes, melting into light, a shimmering golden form, as if they were a holographic projection. A blinding flash, and they was simply ... gone. Both Mrs Jackson and D/N... "No!" The bull-man bore down on Grover, who lay helpless in the grass. The monster hunched over, snuffling him, as if he were about to lift Grover up and make him dissolve too. Percy stripped off his red rain jacket. "Hey!" I screamed, waving the jacket, running to one side of the monster. "Hey, stupid! Ground beef!" "Percy what are you doing?!" He shot a glance at me, "Trust me?" "Yes?" "Bad choice." "Raaaarrrrr!" The monster turned toward us, shaking his meaty fists. "I hagve an idea—a stupid idea, but better than no idea at all." He pushed my back to the big pine tree and waved his red jacket in front of the bull-man, "I'm thinking we jump out of the way at the last moment." But it didn't happen like that. The bull-man charged too fast, his arms out to grab me whichever way we tried to dodge. Time slowed down. My legs tensed. I couldn't jump sideways, only thought running in my mind was Percy's safety. Taking his hand which seemed to surprise him, I leaped straight up carrying his weight lighter than I had thought, kicking off from the creature's head, using it as a springboard, turning in midair, and landing on his neck with Percy in front of me. How did I do that? I didn't have time to figure it out. A millisecond later, the monster's head slammed into the tree and the impact nearly knocked my teeth out. The bull-man staggered around, trying to shake us. I locked my arms around Percy while he went for the horn, to keep us from being thrown. Thunder and lightning were still going strong. The rain was in my eyes. The smell of rotten meat burned my nostrils. The monster shook himself around and bucked like a rodeo bull. He should have just backed up into the tree and smashed me flat, but I was starting to realize that this thing had only one gear: forward. Meanwhile, Grover started groaning in the grass. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, but the way I was getting tossed around, if I opened my mouth I'd bite my own tongue off. "Food!" Grover moaned. The bull-man wheeled toward him, pawed the ground again, and got ready to charge. Percy had hit my shoulder with his head and pulled at the horn. Easing up to a more comfortable position to hold on, I got both hands around one horn and we pulled backward with all our might. The monster tensed, gave a surprised grunt, then—snap! The bull-man screamed and flung me through the air. I landed flat on my back in the grass. My head smacked against a rock. When I sat up, my vision was blurry. Percy was on the other side, with the horn in his hand. The monster charged. Percy rolled to one side and came up kneeling. As the monster barreled past, he drove the broken horn straight into his side, right up under his furry rib cage. The bull-man roared in agony. He flailed, clawing at his chest, then began to disintegrate—not like my mother, in a flash of golden light, but like crumbling sand, blown away in chunks by the wind, the same way Mrs. Dodds had burst apart. The monster was gone. The rain had stopped. The storm still rumbled, but only in the distance. I smelled like livestock and my knees were shaking. My head felt like it was splitting open. I was weak and scared and trembling with grief I'd just lost everyone. I wanted to lie down and cry, but there was Grover and Percy, needing my help. "Percy..." He looked at me weakly and took my hand. "Let's get out of here..." His voice was hoarse. This is where I say goodbye... Don't leave. I need you most now. I am always with you. And you have successfully brought yourself to another world. We will talk once you leave camp. I'm scared. You have Percy Jackson. Hold onto him. And you shall meet another hero. Save Percy. Save Luke. Save all of them. And you won't ever be scared again. Looking down at our linked hand I nodded. Stay with him. Save them all. You've hidden well, but its time for you to show who you are. I will declare who your parent is. I hope they claim us. Okay. We managed to haul him up and stagger down into the valley, toward the lights of the farmhouse. I was crying and so was Percy, calling for his mother, so I held on to him—I wasn't going to let him go. "I'll be here... I won't leave you..." Successfully reaching the top, I could see eyes on us. Percy had lost his consciousness. I was tasked to carry the weight of these two. Seeing two people approach us, I didn't have time to process who, I cried, "Help them. Please." Before collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light, and the stern faces of a familiar-looking bearded man and a pretty girl, her blond hair curled like a princess's. They both looked down at me, and the girl said, "It's one of them. They must be." "Silence, Annabeth," the man said. "The girl's still conscious. Bring them inside." "Percy..."

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Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @the-natureofme @booknerd-3000

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

A Moment Apart | Caspian x Reader

Warnings: Nothing

Time/Era: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: After Y/N gets swept to Narnia with her cousins, she meets a certain someone who piques her interest. Goodbyes are hard, but this one seems more like a “see you later.”

Request: Hi ! I just got back home and read your first Caspian one shot, and let me tell you : i LOVE your writing so much!! So im just going to request another caspian os because i love him so much ahah. Can you write something where the reader first meets him during VOTD and she has to go back on Earth then some times after he ends up in our world and meet the reader again? Take care 💕💕

A/N: Thank you so much for such a sweet compliment! If you love Caspian, saddle up because I have 4 more requests for him coming after this one. Thanks for requesting and enjoy! Please give me feedback. I was thinking of doing a part 2 for this, so tell me whatcha think about that idea! :) Also, I was listening to A Moment Apart by ODESZA when writing, so that’s sort of the vibe of this imagine~

Part 2 | masterlist | read on ao3

Being Y/N Scrubb was about as fun as it sounded. Her parents very obviously favored her little brother, Eustace, and didn’t have a care about what she did. Y/N was much older than Eustace anyway, so they weren’t exactly friends either. The only thing that was getting her through the long, boring days was the fact that two of her cousins had come to stay with them. 

Y/N’s cousins, Lucy and Edmund, were closer to Y/N’s age and much more tolerable. Instead of acting as if they were superior due to having an “immense vocabulary,” they were kind and funny. They would actually listen to Y/N and treat her like an equal. Y/N hated being treated as an inferior by an eleven-year-old. 

“How are you even related to that?” Edmund asked one afternoon. He had been the victim of Eustace’s “intellectual insults” a mere five minutes before. 

“I could ask you the same thing.”

~

“Is the water...moving?” Y/N asked, gazing at the painting next to her cousins. Eustace comes in and sits on the bed. 

“What rubbish! That’s what happens when you read-”

“Can you shut your mouth for just five seconds, please?” Y/N turns around and glares at her brother before turning back to the painting. She continues to stare, taking in every detail of the painting. The magnificent blues and greens swirled together to depict a wonderful ocean scene. The boat was just as breathtaking; it had a huge mast adorning a brightly colored sail and what looked like a dragon carved into the bow. It didn’t take long before Edmund and Eustace started fighting. 

There was something about the painting that screams adventure. Whether that be the vivid imagery or the bright colors, Y/N didn’t know, but she wished that she could be on the boat. Maybe then she could get away from Eustace and his constant chatter. 

As if by magic, water started to drip from the corner of the painting. 

“Lu? Do you see that?” Y/N asked as the trickle turned into a constant stream. The water was getting all over the carpet; Y/N couldn’t help but imagine what her mother would say. 

“Edmund! Look!” Lucy screeched, grabbing the attention of her older brother. The painting now had water streaming from every edge of its frame and the water was starting to pool. The bedroom flooded in record time and the four were pushed under. Furniture began to float around them and they had to dodge chairs in order to not get impaled. Y/N had never been the quickest swimmer, resulting in the leg of a chair clipping her arm. 

The need for air overpowered the pain of my arm so she fought to reach the top of the water. When all four of their heads surfaced, they were no longer in the small room, but in the middle of the ocean. 

“What’s happening?!” Y/N screamed at her companions. 

“Swim!!” Was Lucy’s only response. That was when Y/N noticed the huge boat coming straight for them. “Hurry!” Y/N kicked her legs as hard as she could, but the current was strong. 

“Stop!” A hand wrapped around her ankle and pulled her back. “You’re safe now! Stop swimming!’

“Edmund, it’s Caspian!” She recognized that voice to be Lucy’s. “We’re in Narnia!”

Another voice answered her. “You’re in Narnia!”

The voice was deep and strong, laced with a thick accent. It was also slightly scratchy but in the best way. Y/N had the fleeting thought that she wanted to hear it again, and again, and again. 

~

Y/N was covered in a plush towel as soon as she was brought on board. The boat deck was riddled with things and creatures, most of which couldn’t care less about her presence. She scanned the deck for any sign of her cousins; Edmund and Lucy were talking animatedly with a tall gentleman. He was wet, probably one of their rescuers, and his white shirt was clinging to his torso. The stranger’s hair was also sopping wet, pushed to the side and dripping into his eyes. 

“Edmund!” She called out desperately. He looked over and the three walk over. 

“And who might this be?” The handsome stranger asks, looking down at Y/N. He was quite a bit taller than her. Y/N couldn’t bring herself to speak; his hair had fallen to either side of his face and it created a perfect frame around his eyes. His warm, chocolate brown eyes were wrinkled at the corners due to his grin. 

“This is our other cousin, Y/N,” Edmund spoke for Y/N, an amused look on his face. 

The man takes a hold of Y/N’s hand and brings it to his lips. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, my beautiful Y/N. My name is Caspian.” He kissed her knuckles and released his grip. His eyes followed the line of her arm and landed on her injury. 

“Oh, you’re bleeding,” His eyes burned into Y/N’s skin. 

She squirmed under his gaze. “Oh, uh, yeah. A chair hit me.”

“A chair? Hit you?” He crossed his arms and put his weight on one leg. This made his hip jut out slightly and his coat flair. 

The conversation Y/N and Caspian were having seemed to really amuse Lucy and Edmund. They kept sharing knowing glances at each other. Y/N wished she knew what they were thinking. 

“No matter, come with me. I’ll patch you up. We can’t have you bleeding all over my deck, now can we?” He turns on his heel and begins to walk towards the flight of stairs behind him. Y/N looks to Lucy for help. 

“Follow him,” She mouths, a grin taking up her entire face. Y/N bites the inside of her cheek and follows. 

Caspian led the Y/N into a large bedroom that was lit by a wall of windows. There were various different paintings on the walls, a full-sized wardrobe, a desk, and a door leading to a balcony. Y/N came to the conclusion that this was Caspian’s living quarters. Caspian pulled the wooden chair from the desk out and twisted it around. 

“Here, sit,” He motioned his hand towards it. Y/N laid her towel down on the seat and sat down. Her wound had left a large trail of blood down her arm and she fought the urge to wipe it with her hand. Caspian opened one of the desk drawers and pulled out disinfectant and a bandage. 

“Give me your arm,” He said, the words tumbling out of his mouth as he kneeled in front of the chair. He delicately cradled her arm in her hands and examined her cut. The skin of his hand was soft and gentle as it handled Y/N’s forearm. Taking a handkerchief out of his pocket, he tenderly cleaned the blood from her wound. 

“You are very pretty,” He almost purred. Y/N’s stomach burst into butterflies. 

“O-oh, thank you.” She stuttered in response, making him chuckle under his breath. 

He sprayed the disinfectant and Y/N’s body reacted naturally. 

“Ow! That hurt,” Y/N shrieked, pulling her arm back and almost out of his grip. 

“I know, I apologize. But it is necessary, you don’t want an infection.” Caspian pulled Y/N’s arm closer towards him and covered it in a bandage. 

“There you go, as good as new.” His hands trailed down her arm and grasped hers, bringing it to his mouth again. He kissed her knuckles twice then stood up. 

~

In the following months, Y/N and Caspian got very close. He taught her everything about Narnia and all about her cousin’s accomplishments. It was hard to believe at first, but once she saw Caspian and Edmund spar, she believed it. She loved watching Caspian spar; his face always scrunched as he focused and some of the sounds he makes. Mercy, the sounds he makes. 

“I guess this is it, then.” Y/N says, looking up into the eyes of the man she had become to love. 

“I will find you again, my love.” He said, taking a step closer to Y/N. 

“How? Cas, I probably won’t be able to come to Narnia again,” She sniffled. 

“I’ll find a way, I promise.”

Caspian leaned down and pressed a lasting kiss on Y/N’s lips. 

“Goodbye, Y/N. Until I see you again.”

~

Life was boring outside of Narnia. About a month passed since the crew had arrived back home, and none of them have really left the house. Y/N spent most of her time people watching from the window. 

“I wonder what Caspian is doing right now,” Y/N thinks out loud, talking to no one in particular. 

“Probably fighting someone or eating or something. That’s pretty much all he does,” Edmund responds. 

“That is not all he does!” 

“Oh right, he kisses you too. But you’re not there so that isn’t really an option for him.” Edmund grins wickedly and turns back to his book. 

“Ed! That’s not funny!” Y/N frowned. She hated thinking about her favorite boy being sad. Especially because of her.

“I thought it was funny,” He responded. Asshole. 

“Luce, can I go to the store with you? I can’t stand being in this house a moment longer.” Y/N stood up and looked down at the street. It was full of people going about their business. An old man sat upon a bench eating a banana. 

“I’m not sure you would really want to. You might see that boy.” That was another thing Y/N hated about being at home. The last time she went to the market with Lucy, this boy wouldn’t stop hitting on her. He was tall, blonde, and had bright blue glasses. He was conventionally attractive, but there was only one boy on Y/N’s mind. 

“Ack, you’re right. Never mind.” Looking back down at the city below, she saw a strange figure walking down the road. He was wearing a long poofy shirt and black trousers. He looked sort of like a pirate. The fact that he had long hair only added to the pirate look, as did his long boots. He reminded her of Caspian. She sighed and turned her head towards Edmund. 

“Eddie, come look at this guy. He looks exactly like Caspian.”

Edmund groaned and stood up, his only intention was to entertain his cousin. He knew that she was just trying to get over the guy, no matter how annoying it was. He looked down at the stranger and had to do a double-take. 

“Um, Y/N, don’t freak out, but I think that is Caspian.”

[slimcicle]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤTomorrow Never Cameㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤoneshotㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Summary: Din said he would be back tomorrow morning, and you keep waiting.

Warnings: talks about depression and dead.

Din Djarin & fem!reader

word count: 1.3k

A/N: It’s the first time in years that I write here! this is totally inspired by Falling of Harry Styles and Tomorrow Never Came by Lana del Rey. I was feeling so sad and I don't know why. Also, idk if doing this with multiple chapters. Anyways, enjoy and forgive me if something is wrong with the fic, English is not my first language.

You didn't want to know anything about him. You didn't want to think about him again. You wish he was dead by this point, but knowing him, you knew that you would die first to see him dead. You missed him the most, your pillow stayed wet every night for as long as you could remember. You didn't want to miss him. Every part of your body ached when you woke up and he wasn't by your side like he used to be. You hated the way he used to make you feel when you saw him coming from afar. Happiness ran through your whole body and those cloudy days turned sunny with just that little smile that he gave you every noon that he returned. You didn't want to love him, but after all, you kept doing it even when you had been seeing someone else. It killed you to know that none of those people was him. That none of those boys felt as good as him. That none of them made you feel happy. You hated him for not letting you love again.

"I brought you food" Mariel spoke, who was at the door of your room "I also brought coffee but I was not sure if you would like it" her sweet voice was the only thing that encouraged you to move off the position.

You were in your bed, doing absolutely nothing and just looking at the ceiling of the cold room you were in. The empty glasses that lay on the floor by your bed. Your hands squeezed the sheets under you. Your eyes were red, and your lips were parched. You didn't know how long you had been in that position. You had lost hope in everything, in your own life. He had taken your life on that ship the day you last saw him. Your friend Mariel had been going to your house for the past few years, worried that one day you wouldn't be looking at the ceiling and would be looking at the drawer where you kept your pills. She feared that one day she would come in and her best friend would have left with everything she ever promised that man. You would die before him, was the only thing going through your head. Mariel had insisted on putting his clothes in a suitcase and throwing them into the river near your house. But after all, you needed to feel like he was still there. You hated yourself for allowing you to feel this way. What if he left because it was the only way not to break your feelings? Didn't he think about how you felt? Was it something you said? Or was it something you did? You were falling into the same abyss of the last four years.

'' What day is today? '' Mariel looked at you in amazement. It was the first time in years since you said something to her. She walked over to the bed where you were lying and she gave you a huge hug.

You could hear how she was crying, she was crying on your shoulder. '' It's Wednesday ''. Her voice trailed off. She pulled away from you wiping the tears that flowed nonstop from her brown eyes. "I want you to feel better, please"

You didn't say anything to her. You didn't want to promise again. You didn't want to fall again. You just sat on the bed, you were too weak to do anything else. "I'm fine”

Mariel changed her smile to a face of anguish. You couldn't even fool yourself with the things you said to yourself every day. "You're not," she murmured, taking your hands. "Do you want to tell me about him?"

Your fake smile disappeared in an instant. You had been writing too much about him of things you only knew. But in all this time, you've never told Mariel, your best friend, about him. You didn't want to talk about him again, but there were so many things you wanted to let go of with someone. "His name was Din" your voice came out hoarse. Without emotion. Mariel took your hands, giving them a light massage. "He was ... everything I had dreamed of"

The more you thought about him, the more the tears wanted to come out again. You were going to talk, but you couldn't find a way to do it. "He promised ..." was the only thing that came from your lips and then again, you were crying on Mariel's shoulder. "He promised me that he would be here tomorrow"

Mariel didn't know what to say. She had no experience talking to depressed people, oh maker, she had never seen anyone like this. "How did he look? Tell me about him, don't get quiet.” The only thing she understood was that the more you talked about him, rethought the situation, and learned from it... you were gonna be okay.

"He was a Mandalorian." Your shaking hand took the sheet from under you and squeezed it. It hurt to think of him.

"How did you two meet?" her right hand caressed your damaged hair. And the other caressed your arm trying to relax you.

"He ... he came looking for a place to stay," you said without opening your eyes. "We both fell in love and ... and he stayed here with me" you breathe heavily before continuing. Mariel smiled at you. “He was everything to me"

She laughed. You looked at her without understanding what was so funny. "You were a couple?" she asked, taking the bag of food.

"We were engaged." For the first time in years, you felt relaxed. "Two years after meeting and being together." Mariel nodded. You knew she wanted to hear what happened next, but you didn't know if you were ready to talk about it.

"I'm sorry." she apologized, looking at you again. "I guess it was difficult to bury him." you looked at her without understanding. She thought that he was dead, inside you, you expected the same. 

"He's not dead," you said without looking at her. You looked at the door in front of you. That door where he used to lean himself every morning with a cup of coffee that would get cold with the time they used to be in bed. "We didn't have enough credits to do a wedding, so he would leave and return at noon.

You remembered seeing him arrive when you were in the garden harvesting. You saw him take off his helmet with the safety of his home, being away from everyone and living on such a beautiful path that was as neglected as you. His brown eyes looked at you with such joy and his arms around your waist felt as warm as a beautiful summer afternoon. The way his lips tasted like coffee. Those happy, bright days. “He told me that he would go one last round and then he would have enough credits for the wedding. He told me to wait for him on the bench in front of the house, he told me he would arrive tomorrow morning. " your eyes stopped seeing the door. Mariel was looking at the nightstand that you had to your right. "Tomorrow never came" 

Mariel sighed. She looked at you again and showed a small smile. The two of you didn't say anything, just ate in silence. The tears stopped coming out of your eyes once you finished speaking. Someday he would come. You would be in your garden and you would see him coming. His hands would touch your entire body and his lips would kiss your face without stopping. "I have the feeling that he doesn't need me anymore," you said with a smile. A smile that you haven't let out in years.

The garden lay lifeless since he left. You caressed the only flower that was still alive. The only flower that never gave up. You dropped water on her that she surely hadn't felt in years. You had given her life back, you had given her hope. You had regained your hope. 

[20moonchild21]

Gif by meッ

๛∙ꨄ Fight

Pairing: Park Jimin x girl!member

Warnings: too much fluff

Words: 1900+

☕︎ 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓛𝓲𝓵𝔂, because nothing can separate real friends. I hope you like it ☕︎

ッ

๛匕нє σиє ωнєяє тнєу fιgнт αм∂ make up ꨄ

♕

"You know what, Jimin?" The small girl said angrily. "I don't care anymore. Do what you want to do, but don't ask for my opinion anymore. I am out of this!"

She stood up from the couch and walked towards the door.

"That is totally fine by me!" Jimin yelled loudly after her as she left the living room. "I wanted to do that by my own, anyway!"

"Fine!" He heard her voice yelling, before the slam of a door echoed through the dorm.

He balled his hands into fists, breathing heavily. This was supposed to be a good evening. Just the two of them, working on their very first song together. Usually, the both of them even have the same ideas and expectations reefing to music, but not this day.

"What is going on here?" Jimin turned his head towards the door.

He sighed, and put his head into his hands, while Jin made his way up to the sofa.

"She is just-just...uurrrrggg!" Jimin couldn't find the words to express his ager about the only female member. "She is so stubborn and-and....I don't know."

Jin looked sceptically at the younger boy in front of him.

Usually, Jimin and Grace were inseparable. They joked together, they laughed together and they shared every secret with each other. They were like pitch and brimstone, and that was why Jin cold hardly believe that the both of them could yell at each other like that.

"Let's make this up anytime later. We have an important performance tomorrow. You need to sleep." The older boy said and put his hand on Jimin's shoulder. "Come on, Jimin."

"You are right, Hyung." Jimin sighed and followed his friend out of the living room.

๛

Grace boiled inside herself. She just couldn't get over the fight Jimin and she had last night. She just couldn't understand why he was so stubborn and egoistic about their joint project. If he didn't want her opinion, why did he even ask her to join him in the first place.

She let out a sharp breath.

What made her even more angry was that Jimin was completely ignoring her now, which made it difficult, because the group had a huge performance today. Now, she was forced to pretend everything was fine. She was forced to joke along with him and be all touchy with him.

She didn't even had another choice, because she knew what rumours would come up if the both of them would be all cold and repellent to each other.

"Grace." She heard someone making his was up to her. Of course that argument hadn't stayed unnoticed by the other members. "I want to talk to you real quick."

Grace knew what Namjoon was about to tell her. But she just nodded and stood up from her chair to look at her leader.

"Listen Grace, I know that you and Jimin had a fight yesterday, but right now it is not the time for this." It hurt him to see his youngest member like this, but as the leader he had to make sure that private incidents wouldn't affect their performances for all the ARMYS that were waiting out there. " I want the both of you to mature up. ARMYs are out there, waiting for us to give them the best evening of their lives. Do you understand?"

"I know, I know." She sighed and drove a hand through her long, blonde hair. "It's just....We've never fought like this before, and – and – "

Before she had finished her phrase, the tears were already spilling out of her eyes, dripping over her rosy cheeks. All the feelings were just so overwhelming in the moment. She quickly tried the tears off with the sleeve of her black shirt, knowing that she couldn't cry now. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Grace, " Namjoon took a step forward and laid his hands on the small girl's shoulders. "You know I care about the both of you, and you know that I would do everything to help you solving this problem. But not right now, because right now we need to be there for ARMY."

He had pulled her forward into his chest and hugger her tight. This was the only thing he could do for her right now. So after a few minutes, the both of them made their way out of the dressing room and over to the rest of the group, who where currently waiting next to the stage.

When they reached them, Grace looked up from the ground, just to see two deep brown eyes staring at her. Both young adults looked at each other, and for a spark of a moment, Grace could have sworn she saw a flash of regret or even guilty in Jimin's eyes. Sadly, this moment didn't last long.

Jimin's soft features changed quickly. The corner of his mouth dropped, while he pulled his eyebrows together. Then, he turned his head away from her, starting a conversation with Jungkook, who was standing next to him.

"Alright!" Namjoon yelled and gestured for the group to gather around in a circle. "I want you all to give your best out there. For us and for ARMY, because nothing else matters right now!"

"Fighting!" They all screamed together before the staff gestured for them to go on stage

๛

The girl let out a deep breath when she left the stage, a little while later. Everything went fine.

The choreography went totally fine, there weren't any technical mistakes and ARMY were more motivated than ever before.

The girl lifted her shirt  for the staff member to take off all the wires, earpieces and microphones that were attached to her body.

"Thank you." She bowed her head a little bit, and walked off, crossing Jin's way.

"Great show, little squirt." He said and gave the girl a side hug.

"You too, Jin oppa. Are the others already in the dressing room?" She asked and looked up at him, while she whipped the sweat off her forehead.

"Yes they are. I have to talk to the manager real quick, but you don't need to wait for me." He answered and turned around to make his way up to their manager's room.

"Alright." She yelled after him. "See you soon."

As she walked back to the dressing room, she suddenly heard a soft noise.

At first, she didn't paid any attention, but as she kept walking, the noises got louder and louder. She was extremely worried, because it sounded like someone was crying heavily behind the stage.

In a dark corner.

Alone.

"Hello?" She yelled carefully into the darkness.

As she kept walking, she spotted a figure sitting in the very last corner of the stage. She couldn't make out much, but as she walked closer, she could clearly see his face's profile. She gasped.

Jimin was sitting at an equipment box behind the stage. He had his hands folded in his lap, shoulders sunk down and eyes glassy and puffy. When he noticed the girl, he quickly looked away from her, not wanting her to see him like this.

"Jimin?" Grace asked into the darkness again. This time louder. "Jimin, are you okay?"

It wasn't the first time that Jimin had cried into the girl's shoulder. She had always been there for him when he was lost or sad or just needed someone to talk. He even would have been running to her in the first place, if the situation was another. If they hadn't fought. He simply was to proud to give in first.

"Go away." He whispered and brushed the wet stains from his cheeks.

Of course, Grace didn't go away. Her best friend was obviously in pain, how could she just walk away and ignore him like that. What kind of friend would she be?

Carefully, she walked closer towards him. Jimin, as stubborn as he was, still refused to look at the girl. He tried so hard, but Grace knew how bad he was at hiding his feelings. So when his tears start falling again from his eyes, the girl's heart broke.

"Jimin, what happened?" She whispered as she carefully wrapped her arms around the boy's shoulders.

He tensed up a little bit, but didn't stop her from hugging him. She knew that in the moment, he was simply to proud to talk to her in the first place, and that was what shocked her the most. They were supposed to be friends. Best friends. She decided to jump over her ego and make the first step.

"Jimin, look at me." She gently kneeled in front of Jimin, taking his face in her tiny hands and whipping the tears off of his plump cheeks. "I know you are mad at me, and I know that I was a bitch yesterday. And believe me, I was so mad at you, too, but I want you to know: Don't matter what happens between us, and don't matter how mad I am at you, I will always be there when you need me. We are best friends, and it breaks my heart to see you like this. So please, don't shut me out, Jiminie."

Jimin had stopped crying and was now looking at his fiddling fingers in his lap.

"I messed up." He finally whispered while his voice cracked. "I messed up, because the microphone fell off and I panicked, and then my messed my parts up. One song. One song, and I messed up my line, Grace. I am so sorry."

He put his head in his hands, hiding his face from her again. The girl knew that Jimin was a perfectionist. He had extremely high, and sometimes unnecessarily high, demands on himself.

"Jimin, look at me." The girl whispered and pulled his hands away from his beautiful face. "You didn't mess up. You voice cracked, so what? The people out there don't want to see a robot on the stage who sings perfectly and daces without mistakes. They want to see you. "

She pressed a small kiss on his hands.

"You are only human, Jimin. It's okay when your voice cracks or when you make a wrong step while dancing. Do you remember when I was so out of breath because of all that dancing, and my voice cracked up, all the sudden?" Both of them chuckled at this memory. "ARMY kept singing for and at the end of the day, no one cared anymore about this accident. Because that mistake showed that I am only human, too. So please, don't feel guilty or something. No one blames you for anything."

She pushed her herself from the ground and pressed a kiss on the top of the boy's nose, before she used her sleeves to dry his tear stained face.

"Thank you, Grace. You don't know how much I needed this right now." Jimin smiled sweetly at her.

"It's okay. You know what?" She asked as she stood up from the ground, pulling Jimin with her. "I think it was good that we had this fight yesterday. Because now, we know that we will be always there for each other. Don't matter what."

She held her hand up, stretching her pinkie out for him. He smiled at the girl in front of him, before he wrapped his pinkie around hers.

"Don't matter what." He said.

-------------------------////------------------------

Herr is the new scenario!

I really hope you like it!

Same as always: Any requests, recommendations or other wishes? You know where to contact me!

Mꨄ

[definitelynotkatesblog]

Sundays l Spencer Reid Fic

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid

Category: Angst

Summary: Reader helps Spencer grieve the loss of a loved one, and loses parts of herself in the process.

A/N: Full disclaimer, angst is NOT my strong suit and for that reason, I’ve been sitting on this fic for a while. Mostly because I wasn’t sure if I liked it, wasn’t sure if it was sad enough, wasn’t sure if a Maeve-mentioned content would interest anyone, and wasn’t sure if I could keep staring at this god damn draft anymore. Alas, Sundays is here and I hope it hurts :)

And of course a huge thank you to my lovey betas @imagining-in-the-margins and @wishingwellwriting for helping me make this as painful as possible!

Content Warning: Season 8 spoilers, mention of drinking/being drunk, mention of death, grieving, a brief kiss, unrequited love

Word count: 4.1k

Sundays were his hardest days.

Sundays were their days.

I had been there for hours, doing dishes and tidying up the living room while he slept. I never minded, he needed it. He needed a break from the constant sadness that seemed to radiate from inside him. I never knew so much sadness could exist in the same place at one time.

I turned to see him sitting up on the couch with his shoulders slumped, an empty expression on his face.

Grabbing the coffee on the counter, I crossed the room and placed it on the side table before sitting on the coffee table in front of him. I took his hands in mine and rubbed my thumbs across the backs of them. They were cold and bony, almost inhuman.  

He swallowed hard and looked up at me, meeting my eyes for a brief moment before tears started to form. His face had thinned too, his cheeks sunken and the hollows under his eyes colored a dark purple. He’d stopped eating weeks ago.

He bit his bottom lip before his gaze dropped back down to his lap.

His mouth opened like he wanted to say something, but closed again. A broken breath shuddered from his lungs, and I thought it might only be a moment before the sobs ripped through his body. He wasn’t saying much these days, which was unusual for Spencer. He was a fountain of knowledge who often loved to share what his eidetic memory had ingrained in his mind, but as of late the light normally found behind his eyes was dull and uninviting.

I gave his hands a final squeeze before I reluctantly got up to finish tidying. It was enough of a mess inside his head without his home being a mess, too. I knew how that could be; to have your only reprieve be what’s in your head. Lately, he preferred to be alone. I thought sometimes that if I didn’t have a key, he wouldn’t even have let me in.

Sometimes he would fall asleep on my shoulder or my lap, depending on how we were situated. It wasn’t so much a matter of comfort, but convenience. Whatever position we were in before he slipped into unconsciousness became our marble sculpted pose until he woke. Sleep seemed to be his only solace- the only place he could be happy and I wasn’t keen on disturbing that.

Sometimes he would cry in his sleep, and all I could do was try to comfort him in his unconscious state. Sometimes, he would ask me to hold him while he cried, but those times were few and far between. In the years I’d known Spencer, we never really touched. He hugged me once, briefly, then never again. The first few days I’d spent at his apartment with him were spent offering condolences from across the room. He recoiled at my touch- a hand on the back or an accidental brush against his arm. When he started to seek the contact, I knew something was wrong. A man so touch-averse leaving his fingerprints on me should’ve felt like heaven after years of wondering, but all it did was worry me.

He had asked me to dance once. He said they’d always talked about dancing to a song they both really loved and how badly it hurt to know he’d never get the chance to dance with her. I agreed, partially because he had spent so much time telling me how VR therapy was on the rise and helping grieving parents with the loss of their children, and partially because... well, how exactly are you supposed to say no to a grown man drowning himself in memories that weren’t quite made? You don’t. You let him wrap his arms around you and pull you down under the waves with him so he doesn’t feel so alone.

We swayed in the living room for the better part of an hour. He nuzzled his face into my neck and ran his hands along the contours of my back, occasionally resting them on my hips. I tried catching his eye when he shifted positions but he wouldn’t ever look directly at me. I wondered if he was trying to imagine her under his fingertips instead. When he would start to cry, I could feel the wetness soaking into my shirt. I did the only thing that felt safe to do in that moment- held him tighter and kept quiet.

My hands found themselves in his hair as we swayed, his arms snaking tighter around my waist, pulling us closer together. I did my best not to think about how good it felt to be wrapped up in him, or what about this felt good for him or for what reason.

I wondered what song he was playing in his head. He never actually turned the song on, and asking felt like an intrusion on the memory he was trying to create with her while I was busy trying to twist this memory myself, with him.

When we finally broke apart, his hand came to cup my face as he choked on a sob. His eyes were bloodshot and still forming new tears.

God, my heart hurt for him. I reached my hand to cover his still pressed against my cheek and offered a small smile. He blinked hard, forcing the tears brimming in the corners of his eyes to fall while he placed his other hand on my jaw. As he pressed his forehead to mine, I closed my eyes and let his silent sobs shake both of our bodies.

It wasn’t until his hands started guiding my face to his that I realized what was happening.

His lips pressed to mine between broken cries, desperately searching for the response only she could give him.

I froze.

His thumbs ran across my cheekbones as he stifled a cry, guiding my face back to his.

Before our lips could connect again, I turned away, the kiss landing on my cheek instead.

“Spencer,” I said gently, fearing that my words would rip apart the bandages I had so carefully wound around his heart. “Spencer, I’m not her.”

I knew it would be wrong to be jealous of a dead woman, but when I spoke those words, they weren’t born out of jealousy or wishing I was her so I could finally feel wanted by Spencer... Those words were for Spencer. For his grieving. For him to be able to discern reality from the place he had run off to in his mind.

His eyes stayed closed for a moment.

“I know,” he breathed as his hands dropped from my face to his sides.

I licked my lips and took a step back, trying to create some space between the memory he had just made and who I actually was. I could taste him on my lips and did everything I could not to savor it.

“Maybe you could take a nap, hm? I’m gonna go to the store.”

He turned away and shuffled toward the couch, slowly sinking onto his side.

“I’ll be back, Spencer.” I waited for a response that I should have known wasn’t coming. Pulling the door closed behind me, I heard a muffled sob from the other side of the wood.

——

Fumbling with the key in the lock, I finally kicked the door open enough to shoulder the rest of my way in. Upon entering the apartment, I was met with an absolute mess. Books had flown off the shelf and littered the carpet. The flower vase I’d brought over to foster some sense of life in the apartment now only existed as shattered fragments on the floor.

“Spencer, what the hell?” I walked through the landmines of glass and literature on the floor to put the bags in my arms on the counter. I looked out across the room to find him casually draped in a chair in the corner with a bottle of brown liquor resting on his knee. His arm rested on the back of the chair while his legs spread in front of him like he was waiting for a lap dance.

“Are you drinking?”

“Why are you here?” He sneered, turning his nose up at me. “Have I been so hospitable that you just can’t stay away?”

Shooting him a look, I hung my key ring up by the door, taking a moment to swallow the thought of him not wanting me here anymore. “I told you I was coming back,” I replied evenly.

He snorted and took a long sip from the bottle, wincing as he swallowed.

“You don’t even drink. Where did you get this?” I crossed the room and snatched the bottle from his hand. He didn’t try to stop me.

“What else am I supposed to do?” He asked. His tone was cold, but his voice was so clearly pained.

“Not this.” I walked back over to the sink, stepping over the remnants of the vase to pour what was left of the bottle down the drain.

“If I believed in God, I’d pray,” he said with a bitter laugh.

Silence from the rest of the apartment crept in to fill the space between us. I stared at his slumped figure in the chair but he remained unphased, staring at the floor with his brows knit together. I grabbed a glass of water and the broom before making my way over to where he’d slumped down further in the chair.

“Are you gonna throw this one on on the floor, too?” I asked before extending the glass to him.

He just stared at it in my hand like he wasn’t sure. I took a chance and placed it on the table next to him and turned back to start sweeping the mess he had made.

“Sorry, let me–” he slurred.

“No, it’s fine. You don’t have–”

“Shit!” He hissed from behind me, undoubtedly stepping in the shards of glass.

“-shoes on” I finished. I turned to see him hobbling back towards the chair, stumbling and limping with one foot pulled up awkwardly.

----

He sat on the edge of the toilet with his foot in my lap as I tweezed out the remaining splinters of glass from the tender skin. He winced and jerked and hissed as I worked.

“Spencer, stop moving, that’s only making it hurt worse.”

“Yeah, well–” he started.

“Haven’t you been shot before?” I asked, stopping to look up at the grown man squirming while perched atop the porcelain throne.

He grumbled an answer while I took to finishing up the excavation attempt. Satisfied with my work, I stood and offered my hand for him to stand as well. He looked at my outreached hand then my face, stood on his own and tested putting some weight on the foot.

I dropped my hand and looked down at his foot instead.

“Does it hurt?”

“It all hurts,” he said matter of factly, shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. I knew he wasn’t just talking about his foot but I’d run out of comforting words weeks ago.

Silence hung between us for a moment while I tried to find something to say to him.

“Well why don’t you shower? It’ll help with your foot and hopefully sober you up.”

He snorted, but reached for a towel on the rack behind me anyways. I scooted past him in the small room, backing up against the wall to slide past him. He made no attempt to move as my chest skimmed his, turning his head to face me head on instead. The smell of the liquor on his breath fanned across my face and choked me.

“And brush your teeth, too.” I quipped before closing the door a little more forcefully than necessary on my way out.

I had never seen Spencer like this. I paced the living room, chewing my bottom lip. He had never had a drink in the years we’d been friends, let alone gotten drunk. Grief makes you do dumb things though, right? He was just coping. He was coping with the loss of a loved one. He was numbing that pain. He needed to get away from the pain.

But god, this wasn’t Spencer. At least, this wasn’t my Spencer. Although, he never really was my Spencer, was he? Maybe it was me who needed a break. I gathered my bag and keys from the table by the door, silently running through the checklist in my head– keys, phone, wallet, sweatshirt.

Shit.

My sweatshirt was still in his bedroom where we’d spent the day reading yesterday. Things had felt almost normal for just a few hours, both of us lost in our own worlds between pages. Fiction providing a long enough distraction for him to relax, to let normalcy slip past the walls he put up. I made my way back to the bedroom, hoping to slip in and out before he was finished in the bathroom.

I had just picked up my sweater and thrown it over my arm when he emerged from the bathroom in a pair of clean pajamas, rubbing his hair with a towel. He did a quick once over of the contents in my hands and stopped drying, his arms falling to his sides.

“What are you doing?” he asked, a slight panic hidden in his tone.

I pointed my thumb towards the door. “I’m gonna go.”

“Well.. I mean… why?” He seemed genuinely confused.

These past few weeks had changed him, and had been changing me too. I’d somehow allowed myself to get swept up in the fantasy he had created to not feel so alone. In becoming a part of that, I had never felt so alone in my life.

“I just think I should go. For tonight, at least. I’ll swing by again soon.” I hitched my bag higher onto my shoulder and gave him my best attempt at a reassuring smile.

He looked at the towel in his hand and around the room, as if the answer might be there.

“Please don’t go,” he said quietly when he couldn’t find the answer he was looking for. I wasn’t even sure if he said it or if I was imagining things, wanting to stay more than I wanted to go.

“Spence–”

“Please. I’m sorry for earlier. I’m so, so sorry. I just–” He took a step towards me, wringing the towel in his hands and swallowing the apparent lump in his throat. His eyes were rimmed with red like he’d been crying in the shower. “I need you.” He hung his head like he was ashamed, like he never intended on saying that out loud.

He’d never said that before. He’d thanked me for being here for him, for helping him with his apartment and being a literal shoulder to cry on, but he never told me he needed me or asked me to stay. Even if it was unbeknownst to him, I knew when he said he needed me, he was using me for her. And that’s all it really was.

My heart fluttered in my chest at his words, but there was a part of me that was telling me to go.

The door and his face tugged at me in their opposite and respective directions. His next question made the decision for me.

“Lay with me?”

I stood still for a moment before moving to drop my bag from my shoulder. “Okay.”  

Just like that, any sense of self preservation flew out the goddamn window.

He nodded quickly and clamored into bed, like if he moved too slowly I’d change my mind. And maybe I should have. Maybe I should have done a lot of things differently- I should have left. I should have set boundaries. I should have better protected my heart instead of so willingly getting lost in him that I’d lost pieces of myself. I did none of those things.

Instead, I kicked off my shoes and pulled my sweatshirt on over my head before climbing into the cave he’d created with his arm holding the sheets up for me. As soon as I was sitting with my back against the headboard, he curled up into me and rested his head on my chest.

I leaned my cheek against the top of his head for a moment, taking in the scent of his shampoo as I reached for a book on his nightstand. He snaked an arm around my waist and sighed.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” he hiccuped. “I don't drink, you know. I don’t like this feeling.”

“I know.” And I did know. I knew he didn’t recognize the shell of a man he’d become. Spencer was many things, but empty had never been one of them.  

We sat in silence for a while. I read while he stared at the wall, undoubtedly watching the events of their only meeting unfold on loop like he always seemed to be doing while quiet. I was starting to worry that he hadn’t spoken in a while when he broke the silence.

“I was used to being alone. It was comfortable... She was the only thing better than my solitude,” he whispered.

I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed quiet and watched him. He chewed his lip then lifted his eyes to mine.

“And now you’re here.”

I searched his eyes before he broke our gaze and laid his head back down. The heart that was currently in pieces in my chest knew what he meant, but my brain wasn’t willing to meet the same conclusion.

I’m not her, Spencer.

I know.

Our conversation from earlier replayed in my head, remaining as confusing as it was earlier.

As his lids got too heavy for him to hold open and his breathing evened out, I got ready to head out, satisfied with the seemingly stable state of him.

His arm around my waist tightened as if he could sense my plan to leave. “Stay with me.” He begged, his voice groggy and almost childlike in his demand.

I stayed still for a moment, weighing my options against my best interest. I didn’t know if this would be another dancing situation. I didn’t know if this would help him or hurt him, or more than likely- hurt me, but I was willing to try for him anyways.

How was I supposed to look at the sweet boy in my arms and tell him I wouldn’t do anything to make him feel whole again?

“Okay,” I resolved, closing the book and placing it on the nightstand. I sighed and pulled the covers up higher over him.

“I talked to her about you,” he said quietly, fighting sleep. He exhaled sharply through his nose, a small smile forming on his lips. It was the first time I’d heard anything resembling a laugh in weeks. “She asked me if I was married because it sounded like I was talking about my wife when I talked about you.”

I shook my head on a laugh but I couldn’t hear whatever else he said over the sound of my heart cracking in my chest and the ringing in my ears. It wasn’t lost on me that in a very real and fucked up way, I was jealous of a dead woman, but it was more than that.

I was jealous of their love. I was jealous of the fact that in a matter of 10 months, she had managed to intrigue and enthrall Spencer without them ever having laid eyes on one another. They’d never met, never touched, never kissed. And even still, no one could deny the love between them was real. Not even me.

Was it shitty? Absolutely. The support and happiness I felt for him during those 10 months was genuine. But it still hurt.

It seemed selfish to tell him that while I held him in my arms as he cried that I was racked with jealousy and the realization that I would never be the one for him. That I would never be the one he loved in that way. In his head, she was the only one who had the capacity to love him for everything he was but I had been doing that for years. The truth was, I loved him first. Life rarely plays by the rules of dibs, though, so that didn’t matter- I loved him first but she got him.

And that’s not to say he was property to be owned. I could have said the same for my heart, but even without trying, it was his. Even if he didn’t want it, it was his. And his was hers. And she was dead.

None of these truths changed the way things were in their current state, so I held him. I stroked his hair and watched his chest rise and fall into a steady rhythm. I watched as his face softened until it was no longer twisted in a painful grimace from replaying the same bloody memory. His eyes finally got to rest from their constant tears.  

I hoped his mind was letting him dream of quantum physics or string theory instead of her. Not because of how I felt, but because he deserved anything that would let his mind rest.

My position sitting up against the headboard started to become uncomfortable hours before, but I wasn’t ready to risk moving and waking him up. When I decided he was deep enough in sleep that I could, I wiggled down in the bed until I was lying normally. I huffed a triumphant breath at being able to rest my head on the pillow when he stirred next to me.

I held my breath and froze, hoping it was enough to not wake him. He took a deep breath in and draped an arm over me, nuzzling his face into my neck.

I took a deep breath in, committing the scent of him to memory and wondered who would put me back together again when it came time to rip the pieces of myself out of Spencer, namely the parts he’d grown and twisted around like ivy.

Tears filled my eyes at my own, sad reality.

That I’d found love where I shouldn’t have– in the sad eyes of my best friend that were filled with tears for another.

I’d found love in the heart of a man who had been so irreparably damaged that he couldn’t tell where his pain ended and began.

I’d found love in the form endless literature had been written about– irrevocable and unrequited.

As I drifted off to sleep wrapped up in him, I pretended that he was clinging to me and that I wasn’t just in his bed to fill the void that Maeve left behind.

For now, and for as long as he needed me, I would be there for him, however he needed me to be. Even if that meant I wasn't myself at all. Even if that meant I had to be her.

Even if this was all a lie, I decided ignorance was bliss. And right now, ignorance meant his arms around me. Ignorance meant a place in his bed that wasn’t mine. Ignorance meant the sharing of his love even if I couldn't keep it. This was as close to bliss as I would ever get.

***

Let’s talk about it!

[milkyjeon]

❝let me SEE you❞ kth ― s.

+ pairing: daddy!taehyung x female!reader

+ genre: smut

+ warnings: voyeurism, taehyung is daddy as fuck, mention of alcohol, degradation, masturbation, tae-big-dick-hyung, he is just sadistic let's be real, choking, hair pulling, creampie, multiple orgasms, whisper kink (?) and a little size kink.

+ author's note: this was a request from @peachyunjinnie! i hope you like this babes~

+ wordcount: 1.3k

"Babe, I'm h-" Taehung has stopped mid-sentence to hear the sounds coming in through our shared bedroom. The various noises and loud panting that was being echoed through the whole apartment. He was intrigued, so took off his still dripping wet coat and placed the umbrella to the ground. He licked his lips and was smiling at my cowardly try to masturbate and to expect for him to not know.

He wanted to make himself comfortable, to achieve that Taehyung spotted the red wine on the kitchen counter. He swiftly got a wineglass to fill the red liquid in. He was actually excited to see what will happen next and listened to my whines and groans.

"T-Taehyung, please." I moaned out, trying to reach my sweet spot that magically only he could reach. This dildo could not satisfy me in any way he could, ever. But I have to somehow feed the hungering lust I had to ignore the whole day at work.

He sneaked himself inside the room and somehow managed to sit down the makeup chair to face me. He took a sip of the Chianti and never left his brown eyes off my twitching and shaking body. The lights were turned off except the nightstand lamp that gave a golden-ish color in the room. Taehyung felt his pants growing smaller and a hard outline could be seen through. He was absolutely and utterly lost on my body, my hair being stuck on my face from the soft layer of sweat, my exposed breasts that were decorated with perky nipples, my completely nude body that was convulsing by the pleasure that was brought by the wand in my left hand.

"A-Ah Fuck!" I screamed as I set the setting higher on the vibrator. Taehyung unbuttoned his shirt and as well unbuckled his belt. Being surprised with his already wet boxers, he let out his cock and stared into my direction.

"Set it higher." I heard a voice in the corner of the bedroom and got the shock of my life.

"Tae? Are you here?" I was in trouble. Jerking off without letting him know or asking for permission was a huge violation against his ruled he has set for me.

"Babygirl, It's Daddy for you." His raspy voice sent shivers down my spine. I turned around to face him and to see a soft silhouette of his body. He stood up and took off his pants completely. His dick literally growing in front of my eyes, he smirked at my big eyes. I turned off the vibrator and stared at him, scared but still excited what will happen next.

Taehyung crawled into the bed and snapped at my hair. His face calm and relaxed, other than his grip on me. "What a dirty little kitten you are. Mhh, you like when I pull your hair like that?" He smiled at my whines and moans. He spanked my ass hard to get a reply from me and I immediately gave him a whispered 'Yes'.

He pushed my face into the bed and yanked my ass up in the air. I couldn't help and I couldn't tell if I am crazy for it but a smile has creeped up my face. He pushed himself in without any warning and deeply positioned his dick in me, hitting that one spot that was only reachable for him. The sweet sensation made me scream out loud.

"Fuck, scream louder. Cum slut." His raspy voice haunting me in my state of fulfillment. I was out of breath and loudly screamed into the mattress.

He thrusted into my dripping core, the sound of skin clapping together being heard mixed with my whimpers and Taehyungs groans. He pushed my back down and I could feel my spine breaking at his underestimated strength. I felt my orgasm finally getting closer and closer, my thighs shaking and trembling into a mess. My legs giving up on me and I collapsed into a pile of moans and cries. He pushed my ass back into position again and jerked himself in me and has reached my G-Spot repeatedly and I finally could reach my climax.

"Who's your Daddy?" He yanked my hair once again and kept my back against his unbuttoned shirt. His whispers being next to my ear and thd deep breaths giving me a hard time to function.

"Y-You! Daddy!" I screamed out loud and he snickered. His hands suddenly on my throat and squeezing my esophagus together and taking away my ability to breath with such an ease. Taehyungs big hands on my small body were such a turn on for him, his huge palm almost covering my whole neck.

"Who the fuck owns you, you little slut?" He spat into my ear and pushed himself balls deep into me, I winced at the stretch of his huge dick in me.

"Y-You-" But before I could even get out the whole sentence he has already spilled his load of warm semen inside of me and the sensation of his cum spilling out of my core was so arousing that I almost uncontrollably and unexpectedly came again. The second orgasm hitting me like a punch in the face and getting the best of me.

Taehyung pushed my head into the cushion and his grunted out curses were circulating in my mind. It took us a couple of moments to catch out breaths and to calm down. He pulled out and pushed his two fingers into my abused pussy. "My cum all in you, claiming you as mine. Shit that's hot."

I giggled as best as I could but failed at my sad attempt. Too tired and exhausted from my sex drive being unbelievably high and strong.

"Did you cum twice?" He smacked my ass and smacked his lips at the sight of me. Underneath him, my ass in the air with my head being pressed into the mattress. He had to focus on something else before he got another boner from just looking at this display in front of him.

"Y-Yeah." I laughed a bit and realized that I actually had the best orgasm in a long time.

"But before that, I saw you were having a lot of fun with that little thingy." Taehyung massaged my ass before he smacked it again and I jolted at his big palm now hitting my butt harder.

"About t-that, uhm-" I stuttered more than before and was genuinely terrified of what will happen now.

"You know the rules, babe now don't you?" The only words I heard before I got the longest and dirtiest night I could have ever asked for.

[peachyproserpina]

Wickedly Domestic

Chapter 2: Coffee and Traffic

John Wick x OC

TW: nothing really, mentions of anxiety

As always if I miss something or if you need something tagged please let me know

Anyone could tell that he had just woken up, he was glaring at her hair mussed clothes rumpled. Daisy yapped and licked at his ankles, “oh, yeah.” He stepped aside to let the dog into the house. Maria stood at the edge of his porch, wringing her fingers together she stepped fully onto the porch and bit her lip when she stumbled over the baby step up. She was trying to not stare at the handsome man as she brought her hands up to her cheeks to stop her nervous habit as well as hopefully cool her blush.

“I was uhh, out running at the swamp and the uh dog - Daisy ran up to me and-” She jumped when he stepped aside, gesturing her inside with a wave of his arm.

“Coffee?” John turned and left the door open, Maria let her jaw drop she didn’t think she would have gotten this far. Most people don’t give her a second look, let alone invite her in for coffee. Her round stomach and thick thighs scared most people away and this man was seriously gorgeous. She was still sweating through her sports bra from her run. She stepped up into his house following him into the kitchen very slowly. Clasping her hands tightly together she looked around one of the most modern and opulent homes she’s ever seen. She looked over the photos hanging in the hallway, they were all of the same beautiful woman. Laughing or looking pensive, as she made her way further into the home she noticed more pictures, this time including some of the handsome stranger who she could hear making coffee in what she assumed was a huge kitchen.

She was looking over his mid room bookshelf at her heart stopped when she saw what was one of the most breathtaking wedding photos she had ever seen. They were both standing there and she could feel the love, she felt like she was in the moment. He was looking at her like he was seeing color first the first time or like everything just fell into place. While she knew he was out of her league she always hoped she would manage to land a hot guy, and rescuing a lost puppy sounds like the beginning of a Nicholas Sparks movie. Seeing this photo somehow filled her with so much love and made her feel like she was going to be sick at the same time. Any dreams of hitting on the very fine apparently married man were dashed away. She heard the sound of coffee cups being set onto a counter and the tinkling of Daisy’s collar against something. Maria made her way to the kitchen, still wringing her fingers, a nervous habit she picked up. It was better than chewing her fingernails like how she did was she was younger but it was an easy tell.

She took her cup of coffee and sat at the island in the kitchen nervously sipping what was one of the best cups of coffee she had ever had in her life. She didn’t even like it black but there was something about it that she couldn’t stop drinking it. She chanced a glance over to him and smiled nervously over her cup. He grunted and looked down at his foot where Daisy was resting, tired from her adventure away from home.

“Yeah, I found her at the swamp. She was just wandering around, I don't know how she got there.” She was letting her words flow before she could stop herself. Her host kept staring on, a man of few words. “You’re house is amazing, I live a few blocks over and I didn’t think I would ever see a house this big in real life let alone be drinking coffee in it-” she paused to take a breath, it was like she was talking to a ghost. She couldn’t even hear him breathe. “Daisy is a sweetie and she did so good in the car, also your wife is beau-” there was a clatter of a cup onto the counter, she looked at him and saw his shoulders shake. She couldn’t tell if it was from anger or from sadness, but she could now feel the overwhelming heat come off of him. She shrank back into her seat and held her cup up close to her mouth. Knowing that it was useless if he decided to attack but not having anything closer.

“Was. My wife WAS beautiful.” He ran a hand through his hair and Maria felt her blood run cold and her face heat up to an uncomfortable level. How this man managed to bring out the worst in her she had no idea, she couldn’t remember the last time she was this nervous in front of anyone. She opened her mouth to apologize and he held up a hand. “She just recently passed. Just a few days ago.”

“I am- my condolences. I can tell you love her, I’m always here if you need an ear to vent to.” She let out a nervous laugh placing her cup on the table pressing her fingers to her cheeks. “I haven’t even introduced myself and im offering to be a fucking therapist that you probably dont need.” She took a breath and held out her hand. Closing her eyes she waited until he took it before she started up again. Maria didn’t realize how bad she was shaking until he took her hand in his. His touch was warm, when he wrapped his fingers around hers she jumped, she could feel what felt like ripples of electricity branch off from where her fingers grazed. It really hit home how nervous and sweaty she was, she bit her lip and cracked open her eyes. His gaze was fixed on where their hands met and when he flicked his eyes up to meet hers she let out the breath she was holding. He really was gorgeous, he was older, that was apparent. Sharp facial hair even though he just woke up, hard eyes that were brown and deep enough to get lost in. Maria wet her lips and she saw he followed the line of her tongue and she flushed.

“My name is Maria, I live just a few blocks away and I work at a bank in the city.” Maria jumped at that, yanking her hand back from his like she was burnt. John looked at his hand, flexing his fingers before watching her dig her phone out of her jacket. Maria let out a pathetic little sob when she saw the time on her phone. “Oh fuck, oh fuck. I am going to get fired! I am so fucking LATE.” She started up and rushed to the door, pulling her keys from the same pocket her phone was in. Her yelling woke up Daisy who was following behind John as he guided her back to the front door with a light touch on her back. She could feel his wedding ring like a brand and bit her lip, she should not be thirsting over this man. This man who was only being nice because she found his dog, this man who had to have admirers lined around his block, this man who just lost his wife.

He could feel the panic coming off of her from his front door. She nervously waved at him before backing out and making a run to her car, which she parked at the end of his driveway. Why she parked so far away from the door, he wasn’t sure most of the guests that came over were Helen’s and they always had no problem parking so close. If anyone who was there for him drove a car they parked as close as possible, trying to be intimidating. It was refreshing to have someone blissfully unaware of who he was, what he was. He watched her rush to her car and did a double take when he saw the delicate pattern of daisies wrapped around her right shoulder.

“The names John!” he called after her, not wanting to have the girl more scared of him then she already was. She stopped dead in her tracks, letting the timbre of his voice carry down her spine as he shouted after her. Letting out a breath she waved at him while she climbed into her car before peeling out of the neighborhood. He watched her speed away before closing the door and waking up properly for his day. He had to get kibble and toys for Daisy and he had a date with the tarmac and his Mustang.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Hate (one-shot)

Synopsys: Bucky and reader have been stuck in the safe house for quite a while now, and the snow doesn’t seem like it will be letting off any time soon. New Year is creeping closer and closer. And it’s just the Reader’s luck that she’s stuck with a person who absolutely despises her guts.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Genre: fluuuuuuuuffff, soft angst 

Warnings: swearing, the reader is so dumb... like the last three brain cells she had, left the chat because of what an idiot she is

Word count: 2816

He hated her. Y/N was absolutely one hundred percent sure – Bucky Barnes despised her. The war veteran, the last serving Howling Commando, the longest-held war prisoner and the man who had stolen her heart hated her.

      She watched him from over the rim of her coffee cup, how his long brown locks fell over his high cheekbones, and he huffed pushing them away from his face. Y/N had to force down the groan of just how much she had to restrain herself from going over, running her fingers through his hair and maybe tying it back in a little bun. Fuck, if he ever did that, she was sure she’d die from the hotness that was Bucky Barnes.

      They hadn’t known one another for that long. Y/N had joined the Avengers a couple of months after the whole Thanos thing. For one, she had been one of the unfortunate ones to be dusted. She had been taking a warm, relaxing bath after a long day when her feet suddenly disintegrated in the water. The last thing Y/N had managed was to throw her book over the side, so at least that didn’t get wet.

      Sam had found her after everyone was brought back by Bruce. He was recruiting new people for the team as the new captain, and the first thing she had been there to witness was his try-on haul of the new star-spangled costume.

      “Don’t you think it’s a bit novel?” Y/N asked biting on her lip. “I think the shield would be enough to tell them who’s the boss.”

      “It’s a symbol!” Sam emphasized and turned around to look at his ass. “It’s supposed to send a message.”

      Y/N hid her smile behind her palm and shrugged. “Just… never picked you as the tights guy.”

      Sam groaned. “They are not tights!”

      That was the moment when Y/N had met Bucky, and that’s when all of her rational thinking flew out of the window faster than Redwing.

      He came sauntering into the living room, a grey T-shirt stained with sweat and clinging to his body, the fabric defining each and every muscle the man owned. When Sam said that Y/N started drooling quite literally, it might've been because of the fact that a little dribble of her coffee she had had in her mouth actually spilt out on her leg.

      “You look like the American fucking flag,” Bucky snorted and gulped down a large mouthful of water, cocking his hip out.

      Fuck, Y/N thought to herself, how in the absolute hell can someone drinking be the most sinful thing on Earth. Like holy hell when did sweat become a turn on for her? Especially when it slowly slid along his neck and disappeared down his chest. She had to close her eyes to remove the mental image of him panting on top of her. Sweaty, like in that moment, but because of different reasons.

      “Fuck off, tin can,” Sam snapped back, “or I’ll replace you with her.” He motioned with his head towards Y/N, and she ducked further down on the couch. “You’re not special with your sniping.”

      Bucky shook his head and threw her a quizzical look. “And what’s so special about you?”

      Y/N would’ve probably answered nothing, that she’s completely ordinary because actually talking about her abilities and giving herself some credit was way beyond her skill set, so Sam stepped in.

      “She’s an army vet and was in the Snakeskin program.”

      Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed. “Snakeskin?”

      “They were an elite ground force group of troops trained to be as stealthy as assassins. Her specialty is sniping. So, don't go on thinking you're something special. 'Cause you're not.”

      The super soldier now fully looked her over, and Y/N wanted the couch to cut open and swallow her whole, because holy fucking fuck, was Bucky’s gaze intense. It was like he was trying to carve out her soul just by looking at her. The only thing that came to her mind was to give him an awkward smile and a small wave. He gave her a nod and then looked back at Sam.

      “I’ll be out for the rest of the day. Steve said he wanted some help with repainting the fence.”

      “Yeah, you go be a good wife,” Sam waved him off and looked himself over once more in the mirror. “And please remind him he owes me twenty bucks.”

      “What for?” Bucky hollered from the hallway.

      “He knows!”

      They only heard a scoff before the elevator dinged, announcing Bucky’s exit.

      “So,” Sam looked at Y/N through the mirror. “That went well.”

      If only that was how she saw it. Y/N thought Bucky hated her, and Sam’s little remark about her replacing him was not sitting well with the woman. She wasn’t there to replace anyone, least of all one of her childhood heroes who was doing everything in his power to prove his worth to the world (even though she didn’t think he had anything to prove and everyone else could just go off and fuck themselves).

      She was just there to hopefully once again regain some sort of a sense to her life. After leaving the Snakeskin program, and being one of the victims of the Snap, it was hard to find where she belonged. Then Sam called Y/N up and told her they were reforming the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, and he wanted her to be a part of it, so she jumped on the opportunity.

      And that’s what lead them to that moment – Y/N slowly sipping her coffee as Bucky tried to finish up a crossword puzzle. From time to time she glanced up from the swirling black liquid to the super-soldier, but of course, he wasn’t paying any kind of attention to her. He never did.

      After their first meeting, their interactions were limited to small ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ and communicating during missions. There was never any direct animosity, but the fact that Bucky talked to everyone on a daily basis except for Y/N – well, she didn’t need it to be spelt out.

      But it was just Y/N’s luck, wasn’t it? First, she got sent out on a mission with a man who can’t stand to even spare her a glance, then they get snowed in without a way out (even the jet was seven feet under the snow), and now New Years was right around the corner, and she would have to spend it all alone.

      Y/N looked out the window to the never-changing scene of swirling white flakes. They weaved and moved in a dance she couldn’t comprehend. But while she watched what was happening beyond the glass, Bucky was watching her.

      His eyes trailed the way her face curved and sloped, eyelids half-closed surveying the scenery, but mostly how her flannel shirt had slipped off from one of her shoulders. He so badly wanted to reach out and gently place it back to where it was, but he couldn’t.

      Bucky was no longer the same confident man in an army uniform that used to sweep ladies off their feet and make them dance the night away. This man woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and could barely keep eye contact with anyone that wasn’t Steve, Shuri or Sam for no longer than five seconds. So, pulling Y/N’s shirt back up was out of the fucking question. But he didn’t have to dwell on it for too long.

      “I’m gonna take a shower,” she announced, although she had no real idea as to why. Bucky only responded with a hum, which she guessed was more than what she expected to receive, but then again – it was more of an acknowledgement than she’d gotten in the three days they’d been stranded together.

      The stream of hot water pelleting her skin was a welcome change from the icy touch of being ignored and discarded. Although Y/N was stuck in a safe house somewhere in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere in Finland, it was a Stark-created safehouse. So, it was occupied by every possible piece of technology. Including the best speakers known to man.

      Because Y/N was a punk-rock emo bitch at heart (did you really think I wouldn’t put this in? Killjoys are back, suckers! Put on your fucking eyeliner and get ready cause it was not a phase, mom, it's a fucking lifestyle!), her playlist automatically switched from ‘Kicking-Ass’ that was designed to hype her up during missions to ‘Singing-Like-A-Rock-Star’ with ‘Gives You Hell’ blasting through the bathroom.

      It was like Tony had known that people would be absolutely jamming in the bathrooms because the floor was lined with a rubber mat, giving Y/N the freedom to go ham.

      And she sent up a little 'thank you' to wherever Tony was because she had needed that. She had needed to let go of all of the tension and thoughts that had collected in her body just so she could re-enter that same worrying state a second later. Just with clean hair now.

      Pulling on comfy grey sweats and a huge navy-blue T-shirt, she twisted the towel and plopped it back over her head to keep the wet strands away. The house was constantly warm because Bucky kept the fireplace stocked almost 24/7, but it was even warmer now as he had added a new pile of wood, though the man himself was nowhere to be seen. Which was fine by Y/N.

      With a huff and a roll of her head, she ventured into the kitchen, having decided that dinner needed to be had. It was halfway through her boiling pasta when the shrill sound of her phone ringing made her drop the sauce-slathered spoon.

      “Yeah?” She pressed the phone between her shoulder and ear and went to wash off the spoon, careful not to put the curved-inward part under the stream.

      “Y/N,” Sam’s warm voice invaded her senses. “How are you holding up? Fury and Maria says the storm’s still raging.”

      A glance outside of the window told her as much. “Any news on when it might stop?”

      “None at this moment,” Sam replied. “They’re checking every five minutes for an update so they can finally send an extraction bird out.”

      “Ooh, can you ask Maria to send the one with the bed?”

      “Sorry,” Sam sighed in mock sadness, “that one’s been sent out to Guatemala to pick up Wanda.”

      “Ugh,” Y/N groaned and threw her head back. “Damn Wanda and her mission. Could she not like manage until she got back to the Tower? It's not like she's had to sleep in the middle of the jungle or something?”

      Sam laughed, and it made her smile, knowing that he understood her joking tone. “Yeah, right? What a princess!”

      Y/N smiled and finally added the pasta to the boiling water. “What are you gonna get her for her birthday?”

      “Dunno,” her friend replied. “She’s been looking at that one perfume for a while, but we gotta figure out what Vis is getting first… speaking of other halves – you and Bucky getting on well?”

      Y/N huffed turning to face the boiling pot and stirring the pasta in it. A little vortex formed completely mimicking how she felt on the inside. “As well as two people who can’t stand to be near one another, but have to share a place, can.”

      She heard him chuckle. “Come on, it can’t be that bad! I still don’t think you’re in the right about this.”

      “About what?” her eyebrows furrowed. She took out a piece of pasta and chewed on it. Still wasn’t the right texture.

      “About Bucky. I think you’ve got it all wrong.”

      The scoff that wanted to escape her throat was blocked by the piece of food, and she almost choked on it. “Sam, he fucking hates me!”

      “I – I don’t hate you,” came a voice from behind Y/N, and she spun around, mouth left hanging open as her phone was clutched tightly by her ear.

      She could practically hear Sam grin through the phone. “I guess you gotta go.”

      Bucky stepped closer just as she lowered the now silent mobile. “Y/N, why would you ever think I hate you?”

      “Be – because you do?”

      “When did I say that?”

      She shook her head. “You didn’t have to.”

      Bucky’s whole face fell at her words. “What do you mean?”

      “I mean you talk with everyone else but me. You can’t look me in the eye one bit, and do I need to remind you when you actually left the whole Christmas gala thing right after I walked in, and I quote ‘I can’t be around her’.”

      Bucky’s eyes widened, and this time it was his jaw that hung open. “You heard that.”

      “Loud and clear.”

      “I – I,” he stammered and then cleared his throat. It was time to put all the cards on the table. “I only said that because had I stayed; I would’ve done something I’d regret.”

      “Like what?”

      “Like kissed you.”

      And there went Y/N’s breath. And her heart. And her sanity. And frankly, everything she’d ever known.

      “I would’ve most likely told you how I felt,” he said and stepped closer watching every facial feature of hers.

      “And how do I make you feel?” she breathed out.

      “Nervous. I haven’t had feelings like this for a girl in decades… and I didn’t know how to process them let alone act on them. Things have changed so much since I was chasing skirts… nowadays everything’s so complicated… and I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same. I mean, we have to work together, and we live in the same place, so if things didn’t work out… I just didn’t wanna risk it.”

      As he talked, she had started to pace. In stressful situations where she didn’t have to focus on pulling the trigger or if she wasn’t trying not to trip off a treadmill, Y/N paced. A lot. She was pretty sure there was a line in the living room floor where she had done her thinking before missions.

      “Wait, so you like me?” Y/N spun around and pointed at him. “Like really like me?”

      “Yeah,” Bucky chuckled as relief flooded his veins. He wouldn’t have smiled as wide as he did, had he not seen her lips quirk up. “Yeah, I really like you.”

      “And you don’t hate me?”

      “Not one bit.”

      Y/N stepped forward, head hanging low as she carefully grasped Bucky’s hand and intertwined their fingers, metal twining with flesh. “So, you like me?” she looked up at him, eyes intently watching his face. He squeezed her palm stepping closer as well, chest to chest at that point. He placed both of their hands right over his beating heart.

      “Yeah, I do... Happy New Year, Y/N,” Bucky muttered with a shy smile gracing his face.

      “What?” she had been so lost in his eyes that his words weren’t registering. His soft chuckle was like a melody designed by angels.

      “I said Happy New Year.”

      Y/N looked down to the worn watch on his right wrist and sure enough, the two hands were perfectly aligned to 12. A small chuckle escaped her mouth as she reconnected their gazes.

      “Happy New Year, Buck.”

      He was so close to her; she could smell the hot chocolate he had been drinking. Y/N closed her eyes, insides trembling as he leaned closer. But the kiss never came

      “I heard you in the shower.”

      “What!?”

      Bucky grabbed a spoon from the table and used it as a microphone, pointing at Y/N and wiggling his hips to the rhythm of the song. “’ Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!’” She shoved him away from her and through a laugh threw her towel at him.

      “Ugh, I hate you!”

      “No, you don’t!” Bucky grabbed at her waist and pulled her to him. Together they plopped down on the couch, and Bucky didn’t hesitate to pull her in his lap, legs thrown over his and head resting against his shoulder. Y/N looked up at him, her hand leaning against his stomach as she drew gentle circles on the shirt clad torso.

      “Can I kiss you?”

      She chuckled and moved closer to Bucky. “Are you still going to make fun of me and my singing?”

      He looked like he was contemplating before he nodded, a wide smile on his face as he pressed his forehead against hers. “Yeah. Most definitely. For as long as you let me.”

      “And if I say forever?”

      She didn’t need to hear him say what was on his mind when the only thing that existed was Bucky’s smile. Y/N’s own lips widened, as he bent closer. The New Year and the new decade had begun quite a few minutes ago, but neither cared much because as their lips touched, a new chapter in their lives opened.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Bucky tag list: @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn​ @projectxhappiness​ @callmebucky-doll​ @coal000​ @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken​ @sophiealiice​ @raquelbc2003​ @watch-out-for-thorns​ @potentially-kinetic​ @thatonegirljessy99​ @proxinge @bbkenna @buckysclub​ @ulired @fangirlofeverythingbasically @mrsalh32611​ @horrorx570ximagines​ @the-nargles-made-me-do-it​ @pooslie​ @itsisabelanotisabella @httpmcrvel​ @purplebananatragedy​ @pxrrishly​ @parker-barnes-af​ @skulliebythesea​ @california-grown​ @stevehesaidabadlanguageword​ @belongsto-prachi​ @hello-i-am-insane @its-nott-my-problem

Marvel tags: @nerissa98​ @happyseagrill​ @asguardiansoftheavengers​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @wishingforahome​ @pizzarollpatrol​ @desir-ae​

Forever tags: @lumelgy​ @palaiasaurus64​ @supernaturalbaesduh​ @breezy1415​ @crazy--me​ @thatawkwardlittlefangirl​ @sea040561​ @staryeyedgirl​ @deathbyarabbit​ @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91​ @dalilx​ @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki​ @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83​ @in-the-end-im-still-trash​ @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @sweet-ladyy​ @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines​ @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28

A/N: Hi! so, quite a lot of things have happened. and the biggest thing is... I’m gonna be seeing MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE in JUNE!!! AAAHHHHH!!! I’ve been a fan of them since I was nine, and now I finally get the chance to see them perform live! I’ve never been so stressed in my life while trying to get tickets to something! I was in the middle of my 9 AM lecture and I was legit shaking. I fuffed about for like 3 seconds and those 3 seconds cost me the tickets... at first! and then it was like the emo gods were smiling down upon me, I saw there was another date added. I thought it was a glitch in the system because nothing was announced. so, obviously, I clicked off, only for my twitter notification to go off that they have announced they have added another date. I think it’s fair to say that I was barely functioning as I clicked furiously on my computer. And now I get the chance to see them... I am STOAKED!!!