#but what’s the point when all of it will fade away and crumble into nothing

[piromina]

greetings! today I present:

ALL THE INFO WE HAVE, SO FAR, OF THE BEASTS' CORRUPTION ORDER

mystic flour cookie was NOT the first to corrupt. she was the third, the fourth, or the fifth.

This is backed up in her bio, specifically by this sentence: "...leading her to join forces with the fallen Beast Cookies."

This means that she was not the first to corrupt: there were others to join once she did eventually fall. And she wasn't the second; Beast Cookies is plural. This opens up the possibility of her being either third, fourth, or fifth.

and! mystic flour's reason for her corruption was simply the crowds fading away. she was no longer regarded as a saint.

this, I feel, is important because ... well, it's a strange reason to fall. it brings up questions: why did the crowds fade? could there be a reason for it, more specifically, their civilisations falling? their people perishing in war?

things that sound like what would be the cause of burning spice and silent salt's corruptions?

since we don't know that much about silent salt, burning spice is next on the list. here's his bio:

notice anything interesting?

if the image won't load for you, here's the gist of it:

POSSIBILITY: Burning Spice Cookie fell early, possibly being the first Virtue to fall.

Take this sentence from the bio, for example: "Burning Spice Cookie shaped the course of history, when history itself was young."

And now this one: "But as time marched on and kingdoms rose and fell in an endless cycle, he grew weary — bored by the monotony of it all."

Burning Spice corrupted because of time. He got bored. It was tiring, infuriating, an endless cycle of "born, grow, wither." He's the wielder of Change, he says, but nothing is changing.

And really, it would be quite early on in history — maybe decades, maybe centuries — when one would begin to get bored. War after war after war. Why should he help the Cookies ("...He was hailed as a hero, a leader who fought battle after battle...") when they all will crumble in the end, anyway? what's the point?

So, he corrupted. Started wars. Started killing. It was interesting, and it was fun, and it likely happened early on. Burning Spice wanted something to change, he says, and he could be the one that started the chain reaction of the Beast Cookies falling, the one who made the biggest change anyone would have anticipated.

there's not much else we know about the other Beast Cookies as of now. but we do know this:

If burning spice did corrupt first — and silent salt was second, and mystic flour, say, fourth. that all checks out with the order the beasts were shown corrupting in a certain trailer...

[lonelydipshit]

Getting emotional about the inherent transience of human connection and how we are all only fleeting moments in each other’s lives.

[flwrstqr]

✶ : ENHYPEN WHEN YOU MAKE THEM FLUSTER ╰——𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝖺 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌

𝑜𝑓 · 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖶𝓉𝖨𝖬𝖤 ⦂ bf!enhypen x f!r 1OOOwc. ── est relationship, skinship, petnames ｡｡ ⠀fluff ✦ 𝓒ATALOGUE ♡ ◞

 DANi : my christmas gift for my flueries hehe (> <)

𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚 heeseung pauses mid-bite, chopsticks hovering in the air as he catches you staring at him. you’re perched on the edge of the counter, chin in your hand, a soft smirk playing on your lips. “what?” he mumbles, the tips of his ears already turning pink. “nothing,” you say, but your gaze doesn’t waver, tracing the way his lips curl around his words and the slight furrow of his brows. “you’re just... really cute when you eat.” his eyes widen, and he sets his bowl down a little too quickly, spilling some broth. “cute? who says that?” he huffs, but his voice cracks slightly, betraying him. you lean in, close enough to brush his bangs out of his eyes, and whisper, “i do.” heeseung freezes, unable to meet your eyes, muttering something about how unfair you are. yeah, he’s so down bad, and he knows it.

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚 jay’s hand stills on the page of the book he’s reading when you lean in, far closer than necessary, to point at something in the text. he glances at you out of the corner of his eye, trying not to focus on how your shoulder brushes his or how he can feel the faint warmth of your breath. “you’re really into this, huh?” you tease softly, and his ears turn crimson, though he clears his throat like it’s nothing. “it’s... interesting,” he replies, his voice steady despite the way his heart’s racing. you tilt your head, your face just inches from his, and he freezes. “jay, are you blushing?” you ask, a playful lilt in your voice. he straightens up immediately, closing the book with a soft thud. “no, i’m just warm,” he lies smoothly, standing up to grab you a drink because, even flustered, he’s ever the gentleman.

𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡 it happens so suddenly—you’re walking side by side, the world around you fading into a serene hum, when your fingers brush against his. before you know it, your fingers, almost shy, find their way to jake’s lacing together. his head snaps toward you, surprise flickering in his eyes before it melts into something softer—something teasing. “what’s this?” he grins, a playful lilt in his voice. “couldn’t resist holding my hand, huh?” you roll your eyes, mumbling something about it just being cold, but the way his thumb brushes over your knuckles sends your excuse crumbling. “sure, keep telling yourself that,” he murmurs, leaning closer, his breath tickling your ear. now it’s you who’s flustered, cheeks burning as he laughs, his own face just a touch pinker. “you’re cute when you’re all shy, you know that?” jake always wins these games, and it’s almost unfair—almost.

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡 when you tie sunghoon's tie, sunghoon goes weak on his knees. he's standing so close, his tall frame looming over you, and you can feel the heat radiating off him. his eyes flicker down to your face, and you catch how his gaze lingers on your lips before quickly darting away. "you're hopeless at this," you tease softly, tugging the fabric snug against his collar. his ears turn red, and he lets out a soft, nervous laugh, his hands fidgeting at his sides. but before you can tease him further, he tilts your chin up, and suddenly, his lips are on yours. when he pulls back, his cheeks are a deep red. "i had to shut you up somehow," he mumbles, avoiding your wide-eyed gaze as he adjusts his tie.

𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢 it happens so subtly, that even you almost miss it. your hand brushes against sunoo’s jawline as you fix his collar. his expression doesn’t falter at first—cool and composed, the way he always is (our #nonchalant king)—but then you let your thumb gently graze his skin. that’s when it happens. his breath hitches, his eyes flickering down before darting back up, and for the briefest moment, his cheeks turn flushed. “what are you doing?” he asks, voice quieter than usual. but you can see it now: the faint pink dusting his cheeks, the way he bites the inside of his cheek to keep from reacting further. you smile, leaning in a little closer. “just fixing your collar,” you murmur.

𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡 it’s the way you catch him off guard, leaning in with that teasing little grin he can never resist. your lips brush his cheek first, before you shift just enough to press a proper kiss to the corner of his mouth. “baby,” you whisper. jungwon stays perfectly still, his smile unfaltering—cool, easy, like nothing you do ever fazes him—but the flush creeping up his neck betrays him. his hand instinctively reaches for your waist. “what’s wrong, wonnie?” you tease, and his grin widens. “you’re impossible,” he replies. and when you laugh, kissing him again just to hear him sigh your name, he’s already leaning in, completely and utterly yours.

𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜 the moment the words "pretty boy" leave your lips, riki freezes for a split second, eyes wide before he scoffs, trying to play it off. "you’re so annoying," he mutters, but his cheeks are turning pink, and he can’t hide it. you grin, leaning closer just to push his buttons further, and he groans dramatically. "stop looking at me like that, it’s weird!" he complains, but then—like clockwork—he pulls you by the waist, burying his face in your shoulder to hide his embarrassment. "you’re the worst," he mumbles, voice muffled, but his arms tighten around you. when you tease him again, calling him "my pretty boy," he pulls back just enough to glare at you. "seriously, stop it!" he protests, only to mess up your hair . but his smile gives him away of how madly in love he is with you.

[girllblogging777]

𝐹𝑅𝐼𝐺𝐻𝑇 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐹𝐿𝐼𝑅𝑇𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁

↳ mattheo riddle x fem!reader (best friends, flirting)

↳ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 : 1.4k

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 : exploring a haunted house isn’t very pleasant… except when your flirty best friend mattheo is with you.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you never should’ve let the boys convince you to sneak out after curfew.

the slytherin common room had been buzzing with energy earlier, filled with laughter and stories about the supposedly haunted house at the border of the forbidden forest. you’d been reading your book, half listening to what your friends were saying as they argued about whether or not they believed in these rumours, or if it was just another one of the castle’s unsolved mysteries.

“it’s not even that far,” theo had said casually, grinning. “we’ll be back before anyone notices.” and of course, you didn’t wanna be the only one to back out. not when you were the only girl in the group, always trying to prove yourself to them. not when you wanted to keep that confident and fierce image you had. and especially not when mattheo riddle was watching you with that usual smirk of his, his dark eyes practically daring you to say no.

✩✩✩✩

so here you were tonight, standing outside some old crumbling building that once had been called a house. the full moon hung high in the sky, casting eerie shadows around you and the boys. the air was colder here too, sending shivers down your back and under the knitted sweater you were wearing. but, of course, you weren’t gonna let anyone know that.

enzo and blaise were already thrilled when they pushed open the door, making plans and chatting excitedly about the little nighttime adventure you were having. draco and theo strode confidently behind them, following them inside and leaving you standing next to mattheo, who was staring at you with crossed arms, looking calmer than you’d even seen him.

“scared yet ?” he asked, his voice low and teasing. you rolled your eyes and scoffed, pretending you didn’t notice the way your heart rate sped up - from the alluring boy or the frightening house next to you, that you didn’t know. “please. this place is barely standing. the only thing i’m worried about is the roof caving in.”

he chuckled at your answer and leaned closer “don’t worry. if it does, i’ll protect you.”

your stomach flipped, and this time you knew it had nothing to do with whatever ghosts were inside that house. the brunette boy was the only human being who had such an effect on you, and you hated it. “ghosts be damned,” you muttered, shaking your head as you followed the others inside. “i don’t need your protection.”

“that we’ll see, love” mattheo said behind you, barely above a whisper.

inside, the house was somehow creepier than you’d imagined. there was dust everywhere, and when the floor creaked beneath your steps, you understood why all these rumours had been invented in the first place. despite the darkness, you could see the faded paintings on the wall, following you as you walked down the narrow hallway. at some point you could’ve sworn one of the figures on the portraits moved, but when you turned to look at it, nothing.

a couple of feet away, blaise was laughing at something draco had said, but you were too busy scanning the dark corners of the house to listen to their conversation. theo was already taking about splitting up, which of course, only managed to make the anxiety tighten in your chest.

“everyone, make groups !” the boys declared, clearly excited and proud of their idea. “makes it more fun”

before you could protest, mattheo was at your side again. you’d been hyper aware of his presence behind you for the past couple of minutes, and now there he was, grinning down at you as your shoulders brushed. “well, looks like we’re partners, then.” you shot him a look. “convenient.”

“hey, you’ll thank me later,” he said with a wink, and it took everything in you not to make another sarcastic remark. still, you couldn’t help but feel a little relieved now, knowing you wouldn’t walk through this scary place alone.

the two of you silently ventured down another hallway, away from where the others were heading. the floorboards creaked with every step you took, the shadows of your tall figures stretching out against the wall as you moved deeper into the house. it was unnervingly quiet, but the sound of mattheo’s steady breaths and confident footsteps reassured you a little.

the brown eyed boy glanced at you, his pupils gleaming with amusement. “you’re quiet, getting nervous ?” you muttered a barely audible “i’m fine” though you couldn’t ignore the quickening of your pulse. you hated haunted places, or even darkness in general, but you’d rather get crucio-ed than admit that to him.

he moved closer, his warm breath hitting your neck, and you found yourself unconsciously leaning towards him when he spoke, “you can hold my hand if you get scared.” you glared at him, grateful the obscurity of the scene hid the blush on your cheek, “in your dreams.”

he laughed softly but he didn’t push it, still, his presence was oddly comforting. it made you feel a little less like something was about to jump out from the shadows, and a little more like you wanted him even closer.

somehow, the air in the house seemed to grow colder the further you walked. every once in a while, you’d hear something : a creak, a whisper, maybe just the wind, but it sets your nerves on edge.

suddenly, a loud bang echoed from one of the rooms down the hall and you jumped, grabbing mattheo’s arm without even thinking. your heart raced, and you cursed under your breath when you realised what had just happened.

“told you” he said, a grin slowly spreading across his face as he looked down at where your hand gripped his hand. you scowled, quickly letting go. “that was just instinct.” still smiling, he nodded “sure, sure…” but then his gaze softened, and his voice dropped. “don’t worry, i’ve got you.”

something in his tone made your breath catch, and for a second, you forgot where you were. the haunted house, the cold, the creepy portraits, all of it faded as you stared up at him, trying to figure out if he was being serious or if this was more of his usual flirting.

before you could say anything, another loud sound echoed from upstairs. this time, it wasn’t just a bang. it was footsteps. slow, deliberate footsteps moving across the ceiling. you froze, every muscle in your body tensing as you looked up. riddle stepped in front of you, his usual playful expression gone and replaced by something more serious.

“stay close,” he whispered and you nodded as you followed him up the creaky stairs , ignoring the tightening in your throat. each step felt heavier than the previous one and the closer you got to the top floor, the louder the sound became. you couldn’t shake the feeling that someone, or something, was watching you.

mattheo’s hand brushed against yours again, and this time you didn’t pull away. you were too focused on the shadows that seemed to move on their own, on the way the cold seemed to press in on you from all sides.

“do you trust me ?” he asked quietly. you looked up at him, surprised by the seriousness in his voice. he’d always been flirty and playful when it came to you, blurring the lines between friendship and more. however, tonight, things felt different. despite everything, you nodded “yeah…”

he squeezed your hand lightly, his hand never leaving yours. “good, because i’m not letting anything happen to you.”

“oi !” theo’s voice echoed through the hall, startling the both of you and shattering the blissful bubble you were in. you quickly dropped mattheo’s hand and stepped back, but it was too late.

theo was grinning, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, looking far too amused for someone in a haunted house, and for your liking. “well, well, well… look at you two getting all cozy up here.” your face heated up immediately, but mattheo just smirked, clearly unfazed. “jealous ?” theo proceeded to snort, “of you ? never.”

he glanced between the two of you, and the teasing look in his eyes made you wanna disappear. “we’re heading back, this place is more boring than we thought it would be. meet us downstairs and don’t get lost… or, you know, distracted.”

with that, he turned around and disappeared back down the dusty stairs, leaving you and mattheo standing there in awkward silence. you could feel your chest thumping as you tried to figure out what to say, looking at the old wallpaper that was falling apart instead of meeting his gaze.

“see ?” he whispered, leaning down just enough for you to hear. “told you i’d protect you. even from theo’s terrible sense of humour.” you groaned and pushed him slightly, the banter between you settling back down, “shut up !”

you may have hated haunted houses, but the truth was, you kind of liked the way his hand felt in yours.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

a/n : hey ! this is me making my weekly appearance on this app, cause i just HAD to write about this request

please comment and reblog ! tag list (comment if you wanna be added) @tateshifts @redeemingvillains @helendeath @jolly4holly @larmesdevanille @dexoq @reys-letters @shiftingwithmars @shiftingwithleah @fbvreadingblog @moonlightreader649 @bellatrix-lestrange5 @sp7-mr @sunkissedscribbles @chelawrites @myunperfektstorys @iris-qt @yikesitslush @clar2aa @deadsnakey @deadghosy @slut-for-fictional-men @romantasyreader28 @witchsrecs

[wandasaura]

EVEN STATUES CRUMBLE

summary — when exhaustion creeps up on you after a long week, you find yourself coming undone quickly. luckily, maria’s there to hold you close and put all of your broken pieces back together

warning(s) — hurt/comfort, elements of fluff, domestic maria hill, platonic blackhill, brief mentions of battle, civilian casualties, and death, sleepy natasha being a softie, maria fixing all of your problems because that’s just what she does

The keycard attached to the waistband of your pants got you into pretty much anywhere aboard the helicarrier; one of the very few perks that came with being a Level Ten agent alongside Nicholas J. Fury. You adored your livelihood, that wasn’t even a question you graveled over on your busiest days – you wouldn’t sacrifice so many nights if you didn’t – however, with being so high on the ladder of ranks came the inevitable burnout when paperwork and mission reports piled up; which they inevitably always did despite your meticulous schedule and borderline obsessive work ethic. You delegated the workload of ten other agents on the daily, usually without so much as breaking a sweat, but a particular mission report from a Level Six had gotten to you in a moment of exhaustion. 

Your boots were the same Shield issued footwear that everyone else wore around the helicarrier, clunky and steel toed with near indestructible black laces, but your footsteps were light as you padded down the dimly lit hallway toward an office you’d practically adopted as your own since the director had found himself another right-hand woman. There was no point in knocking when you reached it after what felt like hours of slowly trudging down void hallways, you were the only one with clearance to enter without being physically let in, other than Fury himself, but he’d never turn up to her office, especially not so late into the night. The soft glow of a desk lamp creeping beneath the crack in the door alerted you of life inside the spacious room, and a faint smile pulled at your lips despite your exhaustion and wary emotions. 

A small light on the side of the metal door flashed green for only a millisecond before it faded and the latch clicked tellingly. You bristled at the assault of frigid air that swept past you when you pushed inside tiredly, but steeled your expressions quickly when your eyes trailed over the room and noted not one, but two bodies. A displeased huff fell off of your lips when you noticed Maria behind her desk, a mountain of paperwork practically hiding her from view entirely, and Natasha sprawled out on her couch with a solemn glaze over her green eyes. 

“She’s in my spot.” You sighed, no real malice behind your words, but exhaustion put a damper on your typically lightspoken banter with the redhead. It seems both you and Natasha, a woman that had somehow wormed her way into the heart of the Deputy Director despite her bloodied past, had sought refuge in Maria’s quiet presence tonight, and you weren’t quite sure how to feel about it. You held nothing against the reformed assassin, she’d seen you at some of your worst moments, but you’d been holding out hope that a few stolen minutes with Maria alone would heal the ache you carried deep. 

Natasha, who was always quick with her wit, didn’t seem to have it in her either, and softly she allowed her voice to break the silence that had been light over the office prior to your entrance. “I can leave.” You shook your head dismissively, kicking the door closed behind you in favor of stalking over to Maria’s desk. 

Out of habit, the Commander tilted her screen away from your gaze, her dark yet meticulously kept eyebrows furrowing as you came behind her desk without hesitation. “I’m higher clearance than you, and Natasha’s been able to see everything you're doing from the couch, Ria.” You rolled your eyes fondly, hands bracing themselves on the back of her chair that you pulled away from the desk without taking her responsibilities into account. She had the same deadlines as you, only hers weren’t so structured and rigorous. You knew that anything she was doing could wait until morning, even if she liked to be overly prepared and considered anything but early a direct hit to her reputation. “Just hold me.” 

You fell into her lap without another word, curling up against her battered and stiff uniform that had definitely seen better days. Your head tucked itself into the pocket of darkness and warmth between her chin and shoulder, your fingers already working at the hair tie around her thin chestnut strands, wanting them free from the confines of her tightly secured bun. With the black elastic around your wrist, you sighed contently, absentmindedly pulling your fingers through the loose knots that had formed from your ungraceful removal of her hair tie. It was an apologetic gesture, the tips of your fingers soothing the skin of her scalp that had definitely been snagged with your quick movements, but Maria had become accustomed to your endearing quirks that almost always followed a vicious panic attack. 

“Romanoff, if you move from that couch, I will have you on Clint clean-up duty for the rest of the month.” Even if you couldn’t see the Russian from behind your eyelids, even if you were pressed so tightly against Maria’s neck that even with open eyes all you’d see was darkness, your body could practically feel her silent movements. It was a valid response, however you held her to a higher standard than you did other agents. Your girlfriend trusted her with her life, you’d made something of a friend out of her since her first year at Shield, it was slightly insulting that she thought she had to flee at the first sight of vulnerability from you. “I just… I just need a minute.” 

Even as you tried to pull rank, tried to command her obedience, Natasha could tell that your heart wasn’t in it. Whether to humor you, or simply because she didn’t really want to retreat to her own quarters, she sank into the couch once more, throwing her arm over her eyes as she succumbed to the same darkness that you sought out. A shaky breath fell off your lips when Maria’s thumbs dug into your shoulder blades, applying pressure to all of the knots and tension that had accumulated over the grueling week. You’d been unintentionally ghosting her, although neither of you really counted missed lunch dates and empty beds to mean anything significant, but the premise was all the same, even if she held no resentment toward your work ethic that was too similar to her own. 

“Diaz?” Maria’s voice was soft, understanding even, as she asked. Even the name of the agent had you going rigid in her clutches, a choked whimper falling off of your lips as you tightened your grip on her hair and worked feverishly to weave little braids into the silky chestnut strands that could do for a wash and deep condition. You’d have to remember to remind her next time she had a slow morning, but that wasn’t coming anytime soon for either of you. 

You nodded wordlessly against her neck, pinching your eyes shut even tighter if that was at all possible. You loved your job, adored the livelihood that you’d found a family in, but no amount of experience made reading civilian death counts easier. No amount of experience made loss any lighter. “Seventeen, Ria. Seventeen people died. It just– I haven’t seen a civilian death count that high since Sokovia.” 

In retrospect, seventeen people wasn’t a lot, not when you put it up against the battle of Sokovia that had earned Shield another foreign agent and an inconsolable migraine for months to follow, but when you analyzed the mission objective, when you stripped back everything that it was up against, it was still seventeen innocent people that had been caught in the crossfire. “We can’t save them all, mi alma.” It was a weak condolence, Maria knew that, but it was what you needed to hear, even if you detested it. Shield had saved twenty from a Hydra base in Madripoor, all of them no older than nineteen years old, but still seventeen people that were in the wrong place at the wrong time had died. Shield had saved twenty children, but still parents, and siblings, and people had lost their lives to do so. Was any good really done if the children who got to go home didn’t have a mother to help them through the trauma? Had any good really been done if a daughter didn’t have a father to come home to? 

“Eleven.” To Natasha, the number that fell off your lips was entirely random, but for Maria, who knew everything about you, down to the way you liked to tie your shoes, always starting with the left one first, it meant something more. Eleven people had died in an ambush the night that Nicholas J. Fury had swept you away from the rubble and into the empire that hadn’t been so publicly known at the time. Eleven people that you’d known, some loosely and some deeply intimately. Your single mother that had worked four jobs just to keep the electric on in the biting cold of winter had died, and you’d held her hand as she took her final breath, entirely helpless and terrified. Seventeen people had died in Madripoor, and depressingly, you could only picture yourself in the aftermath of such a tragedy. 

How many kids were going to come home from school without a parent? How many parents were going to come home from work without a child? The guilt of surviving weighed heavily on your heart, but it was exhaustion that pushed you past the point of thinking rationally. Madripoor had sung its praises to Shield after the initial battle just under a month ago. You’d seen the headlines, manned the press conferences, talked with the families that had wanted to reach out, but seeing that number in pristine black ink had rattled you fiercely. 

“When’s the last time you slept, bebé?” The softly spoken pet name was usually enough to bring a smile to your face no matter the conditions you faced, but it only had you sinking deeper into Maria now. Your heart felt so heavy in your chest, your bones felt so dense in your body, everything that you’d been managing had finally crushed you; just like the rubble had crushed your mother’s unsuspecting body on a side street in Manhattan when all she’d wanted to do was show you her new favorite coffee shop. 

“Don’t know… the last time I came home?” Your voice was meek, distant as you trailed through your memory trying to locate the date in your mind. You’d been home that Wednesday night, sank into bed beside Maria and held her close until she’d gotten up for her own shift, and had continued to sleep for another two hours before sunlight brought on more assignments and deadlines, but that was so fuzzy now, so long ago. You barely knew the date, but Maria did, and she sighed softly in confirmation. 

“It’s Friday, sweetheart.” She informed, her thumbs still digging into the spots of tension in your back, working out the knots and kinks that had you stiff beneath her touch. “You’re exhausted.” 

“And you’re not? I check the entry logs, Ria.” Your defiance was softly muttered, and Maria sighed her resignation. She hadn’t been home either, not since Thursday morning when she’d slipped out of your arms and left you to rest a while longer in a stiff bed dressed in scratchy sheets, but she’d taken the breaks she knew her body needed, even if it had been begrudgingly. The couch that Natasha was draped across had seen a similar form from her multiple times since then, even if the longest consecutive rest she’d gotten was merely half an hour. That was the difference between you both. Maria knew when she had to come first, even if she often waited until the very last second to actually step away from her tasks. You, on the other hand, saw everything else as a priority. That was what got you so high on the ranking ladder. That characteristic was one of many reasons why you alone shared the same ranking level as Fury. When shit needed to be done, he knew that you’d do it, no questions asked. But that blindsided work-ethic was going to kill you eventually. 

“You’ve slept once in the last week, mi amor.” Maria sighed, knowing that she was arguing with a wall at this point, but willing to put the effort in anyways. She was always willing to put the effort in for you, even if you couldn’t do it for yourself. Her hands caressed your back affectionately, slipping away from your shoulder blades only to put pressure on your spine, cracking the bones and notches in your back soothingly without spoken word. You sighed, deflating in her lap once again, craning your neck only to release some of the ache and tension in your jaw before you burrowed into her neck once more, still keeping fistfulls of her soft hair between your fingers that had been stained black from smudged ink. 

At some point, you must’ve fallen asleep against her, never slackening your grip on her chestnut tresses but grabbing onto the neckline of her uniform at an undisclosed moment. She hadn’t tried to move you, hadn’t tried to wake you, hadn’t tried to move at all. She’d simply sat in the silence of her office with Natasha’s easy company, shuffling through paperwork and mission reports, but getting no real work done, distracted by your warmth against her chest and the weight of you draped across her lap for the first time in days. When you woke a handful of hours later, the warmth of the sun and the light of a new day rousing you from an uneventful sleep – the level of exhaustion you faced preventing dreams from even playing out – you didn’t stiffen in alarmed surprise when you realized that strong arms were looped around your waist and keeping you steadily upright. Maria was a distinguishable presence even when you were half delirious, and a warm smile pulled at the corners of your lips as you laid a gentle kiss to the neglected patch of skin behind her earring-less earlobe. She really needed to start wearing her cartilage cuffs again, but the last one you’d gotten for her had been lost to a bloodied battle in Argentina. You made the mental note to get her another one sometime soon, but for now, you simply basked in the presence of her company that was so painfully warm and inviting. 

“You had Romanoff on edge last night.” Maria mused, her fingers tightening around your waist in a sweet wordless greeting, prematurely ending the reign of silence that you’d been enjoying, but you didn’t complain. The sound of her voice was just as inviting, if not more intoxicating than silence ever could be. 

“Even statues crumble every now and again.” You huffed against her neck, tightening your grip on her uniform if that was at all possible, allowing your gentle fingers to tickle the skin hidden from view that still carried the lingering scent of your body wash. “She’ll get over it.” 

“You really have to stop referring to yourself as a statue. The rookies are going to start thinking an alien attack sucked the emotions out of your body..” She chortled, breathy laughter twinged with traces of mental exhaustion jostling both of your bodies, and you couldn’t help the smile that twisted your dehydrated lips upward involuntarily in response. How you could spend so many days away from her never made sense when you were wrapped up in her presence, but it was reassuring to know that no matter the length of time that separated your passionate love, she would always be there to crawl home to. 

“As soon as you stop feeding into being called Hard-Ass Hill, I’ll stop fucking with the rookies.” Another chaste kiss was laid onto her skin, the second in too many days to count, but you’d make up for your absence before you inevitably returned to your own office to continue drowning in paperwork that never ended. “Te amo tanto.” You signed your unarguable admiration, but she wouldn’t be Maria Hill if she didn’t have a sharp comeback to silence your efforts. 

“Te amo mucho mas, mi alma.”

[arieslost]

you have pushed me to ask so here I go

I present my idea of motorcyclist!oscar and his gf who is afraid of motorcycles. He convinces her to try it onc3 and BOOM hands around him holding on the dear life.

I want to hold on to him

I can't stop thinking about that tiktok

here's a ss I took from the tiktok edit

what a yummy man

the entire time i wrote this i kept coming back to look at this picture because oh my goodness gracious. i hope this lives up to ur expectations <33 definitely wanna write more biker!osc after this

© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

hold on tight | op81

“Just one time?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No way.”

“Do you even love me at all?” Oscar asks dramatically, jutting his lower lip out for extra effect. 

“That’s not going to work on me, Piastri.” You shake your head vehemently. “I refuse to get on that death machine. It’s bad enough that you ride it all the time.”

“Come onnnn,” he whines, tugging you up off of the bed and into his arms. 

The two of you look like polar opposites— him with his leather jacket and riding gloves still on, smelling faintly of exhaust, and you in plaid pajama pants and one of his worn out t-shirts. You suppose that’s what makes your relationship work so well, opposites attract and whatever. All relationships take compromise though, and this is one “compromise” that, thus far, you’ve refused to make. 

In your eyes, it’s not a compromise. But Oscar has been asking you to be his “backpack” practically since the two of you met. 

“What do I have to do to convince you?” He’s asking, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. 

“Hmm, nothing.” You smile up at him, and it fades just as fast when you see the excitement in his eyes. “Because it’s never going to happen. I like being alive, thank you very much.”

“Baby, you know you’ll be safe with me. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.” He says sincerely, his pleading tone now gone. “I’ve been riding my entire life. I did all the crashing before I got my license. Haven’t crashed since.”

“Yeah, that makes me feel better.” You mutter, hiding your face in his chest so he can’t see your resolve slowly starting to crumble. 

“It would be so fun,” he continues, arms tightening around your frame as he starts to sway you both side to side a little. “All you’d have to do is hold on to me. I’ll do all the work. You trust me, don’t you?” 

“With all things except the death machine,” you say, voice muffled by the material of his jacket. 

“I love you, but I’m gonna need you to stop calling her ‘the death machine,’ honey.”

“Her?” You look up at him, affronted. “I’m definitely not doing it now. Wouldn’t want to get between you and the other woman in your life.” 

Oscar laughs. His laugh has always been more of a giggle around you, which is such a contrast to his outward appearance that it never fails to make you melt. 

“You’re the only woman for me, which is why you’re the only woman I’ve ever asked to be my backpack.” He says. 

“Don’t try to butter me up with the whole backpack thing again.” You roll your eyes and try to pull away from him, but he somehow manages to twirl you and bring you right back into him. 

“It’s not me buttering you up, I’m just telling the truth. Come on, baby.” he leans in and gives you a long kiss that leaves your head spinning a little. “One time. And if you don’t like it, I promise I won’t ask again.” 

You let out a frustrated groan, because he has to know that he’s won at this point. That kiss was nothing but tactical. “Fine. Fine. But you can’t just kiss me like that every time you want something from me, it’s unfair.” 

“Yes, yes!” He squeezes you into him, kissing the top of your head over and over. “You won’t regret this.”

“I already am a little bit.” You grumble. 

That’s how you find yourself standing on the sidewalk with Oscar in front of you adjusting a helmet on your head. 

“This is making me claustrophobic,” you complain as he flips the visor up so he can see your face. 

“I’m just making sure you’re safe, baby.” When you furrow your eyebrows, he sighs and drops his hands to his sides. “If you really don’t want to do this, you don’t have to, okay?”

This makes you relent a little bit. “Osc, I’m sorry. I’m just scared. I don’t like motorcycles, like, at all.” You smile as best you can with the helmet on, hoping it goes to your eyes so he can see it. “I want to do this. You just… you really have to help me.” 

He nods, the tension in his shoulders dissipating. “Of course, honey. C’mon.”

He takes your hand and leads you over to his motorcycle. While you’re terrified just looking at it, you can’t deny that it’s absolutely beautiful. Streamlined and sleek, like he literally just bought it, even though you know he’d already had it for a year when you first met him. 

He looks almost the same as he did when you first met— all black getup, signature leather jacket, riding gloves, and of course, his strangely colorful helmet that doesn’t match the rest of him. His hair was long when you met him, and you still remember being absolutely starstruck when you saw his face for the first time. It had felt like everything went into slow motion when he took his helmet off, pushed his hair back, and instantly made eye contact with you from where you were just exiting the bookstore. 

Needless to say, you were done for. And now here you are, a year later, letting him help you onto the death machine. 

He never said you had to stop calling it (sorry, her) that if you were thinking it to yourself. 

“You okay? Comfy?” Oscar asks, reaching to adjust your helmet one more time. 

“Yup. Mhmm. Totally.” You nod, not even trying to sound convincing considering your heart is in your throat and he hasn’t even started the engine yet. 

“Great,” he kisses the top of your helmet and smiles at you cutely before climbing onto the bike so he’s seated in front of you. “Just hold on tight, okay baby? Like this.” 

He reaches behind him, grabbing your hands that had been anxiously scratching at the material of your jeans and pulling you forward so your arms are wrapped around his waist. He doesn’t have to say anything else– you’re quick to tighten your hold around him, fingers clutching at the material of his open jacket. You immediately feel your anxieties begin to dissipate as soon as you’re holding onto him, and you shift your whole body forward on the seat so your front is pressed as close as it can be to his back. When he lets out a quiet grunt, you release your grip a little. 

“I’m sorry! Am I holding you too tight?” “No, no,” he huffs out a laugh, patting your thigh. “Do whatever you need to do. Just warn me if you’re planning to suffocate me at all.”

“Listen, Piastri–” you begin, and he cuts you off by twisting around to look at you.

“Okay, I get it, I’m sorry.” He’s giggling now, and you let go of him to smack his helmet. “I’m done, I promise. As long as you feel safe, honey.”

“Come on, let’s go before I chicken out.” You say, quickly reassuming your hold.

It’s times like these where you appreciate just how buff your boyfriend is. He has something of a sleeper build, so one quick glance at him wouldn’t really reveal much, but when you’re pressed up against him like this, you can feel the muscles in his back and shoulders and his abs through his shirt when your hand slips past his jacket. He’s warm and solid against you, and that in itself is comforting enough that you don’t go flying off the seat when he starts up the engine and you instantly feel your whole body start to vibrate from the force of it.

“I’ll check in with you, okay?” He says over the loud rumbling. “Hit me in the head or something and I’ll pull over. Sound good?” Having him to hold on to is nice, but your throat is still dry thinking about all the dastardly possibilities that could occur when the bike starts moving, so you have to swallow a couple times in order for him to hear you over the engine. “Yeah, sounds good.”

Your heart falls out of your ass and lands on the pavement when he pulls out onto the road, the engine roaring as he accelerates. 

“God, please spare me,” you say out loud, grateful that Oscar can’t hear you over the engine. 

As soon as he gets onto the freeway, that’s when you realize just how much fun you’ve been missing out on.

It’s never been a secret to you that Oscar loves going fast. There have been plenty of occasions where you’ll drive somewhere, do whatever it is you have planned, and then you’ll turn to him and ask if he wants to drive home just to give him some peace of mind knowing that the journey back will be cut down by a few minutes at least. Being in the car is fun enough, but being on the back of his motorcycle is different.

You thought you’d be more scared. You’re terrified, sure, but even though you can feel the wind whipping against your clothes and you’re flying past cars on either side of the freeway, you’re holding on to Oscar, and you could easily do that forever. You’re quickly warming up to the concept of being his backpack, and you can feel yourself relaxing your death grip around him. This is actually kind of fun. Okay, really fun. You actually can’t believe you were so adamantly refusing to do this this whole time. 

Every so often, he reaches back with one hand and rubs your thigh, or holds one of your hands that is now tucked comfortably into his jacket pocket. You thought you’d be freaking out about him taking a hand off the handlebars, but he exudes confidence on the bike, and he never wavers no matter what he’s doing with his hands. 

He doesn’t go very far; the whole ride lasts maybe 20 minutes, but it feels like half that with how quick the bike is. Your arms ache from all the muscles in them working the whole time, and when he helps you off the back of the bike your legs feel like jello.

“How was it?” He asks, helping you pull the bulky helmet off your head. 

Your hair falls in your face and he brushes it away for you before you can even lift your hands. He cups your cheeks, a small smile on his face as he admires you.

“We are definitely doing that again.” 

His smile grows, and he places a sweet, adoring kiss on your lips. “I knew I finally found my backpack.” 

word count: 1,787

masterlist — join my tag list here!

note: writing this has me thinking up a whole biker au for multiple drivers... thank you for this gold mine of a request <33

requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

reblogs are always appreciated <33

dividers by @/saradika

tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @c-losur3 @papayatori @ssprayberrythings @namgification @maih23 @evlkking @witchycarmen @ilovethispookie @maxverstappenfan79 @sya-skies @sweatrevenge5436-blog @kimis-gloves @mia-rrrs @decafmickey @customsbyjcg-blog @bigheartsthings

[kinzhae]

"Too Late."

After a heated argument, Gojo Satoru pushes you away, becoming cold and indifferent. During a mission, you are severely injured by a curse, and Gojo arrives too late to save you. As you die in his arms, Gojo is forced to confront the painful consequences of his actions and the love he never expressed.

Warnings: Death, Emotional Abuse, Angst, Grief, Violence, Angst with no happy ending, mentions of death, ignoring.

This has been sitting on my draft but didn't know if I should post it or not.

Gojo x Reader.

You’d reached your breaking point with Satoru’s arrogance, his refusal to take anything seriously. After a mission where his antics nearly got a teammate killed, you confronted him.

"Why do you always act like nothing matters?" you shouted, your voice trembling with anger. "Do you think it’s funny when people almost die?!"

Gojo’s smirk was firmly in place, his hands stuffed casually in his pockets. "Relax, no one actually died. I was there, wasn’t I?"

"That’s not the point!" you snapped, tears burning in your eyes. "You can’t keep acting like this is all a game, Satoru. People care about you—I care about you—but you make it impossible to reach you!"

His smirk faltered for a split second before he recovered, his voice dropping to an icy tone. "If caring about me is so hard, maybe you should stop."

His words struck you like a physical blow, and you staggered back, staring at him in disbelief. "Is that what you really want?" you whispered, your voice cracking.

Gojo turned his head away, the faintest flicker of regret crossing his face before his usual arrogance took over. "I don’t have time for this," he said simply, walking away and leaving you behind.

From that moment, he froze you out completely. In the halls, he ignored your presence as if you didn’t exist. On missions, he stood back, arms crossed, watching you struggle.

"Having fun?" he’d call out mockingly as you fought against a curse, his tone laced with cruel amusement. "You said I don’t take things seriously. Show me how it’s done, then."

Each word was a dagger to your heart, but you refused to let him see you falter. You pushed yourself harder, determined to prove you didn’t need him.

But your body couldn’t keep up with your determination. On a solo mission, you found yourself overwhelmed by a curse far stronger than you’d anticipated. You fought with everything you had, but it wasn’t enough.

Gojo arrived just in time to see you collapse, your blood pooling around you as the curse disappeared into nothingness. For a moment, he stood frozen, his heart pounding in a way he hadn’t felt in years.

"Satoru," you whispered weakly, your vision blurring as he knelt beside you. "Guess you were right… You didn’t need me after all."

"Stop talking," he said, his voice uncharacteristically sharp as he pressed his hands to your wounds, his mind racing. He could heal himself, but not others. He had never learned. "Don’t… don’t do this. You’ll be fine. You’ll be fine."

Your hand weakly reached for his, and he grasped it tightly, his grip trembling. "You’ll be fine," you murmured, your voice fading. "You always are…"

For the first time in his life, Gojo Satoru felt powerless. As the light left your eyes, his entire world crumbled.

He sat there for hours, holding your lifeless body, his blindfold damp with tears. "You were wrong," he whispered hoarsely, his voice barely audible. "I needed you. I needed you more than anything."

But no one was there to hear his confession, and the silence that followed was louder than any scream.

[teatreeoilll]

ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna drabble-headcanon thingy part 2 | part I here w/c - 750 cw: manga spoilers (although I'm only on chapter 180 so if it kind of doesn't make sense with the rest I'm sorry!!)

ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna who wakes up a thousand years later, now trapped in a boy's body, unaware of the fact that you, too, had made a deal with the devil to satisfy your yet unmet need for revenge.

Hein Era

"You must be Kenjaku," you said, relief washing over your body. It has been three long years since you've decided to find the man, the journey wearing you out, turning you into an empty shell in tattered rags.

"May the traveler who knows my name introduce herself?" He proposed, not making the effort to turn around from his position over the cooking pot. The shabby hut you stood in and his mild demeanor hardly lived up to the reputation of the most vicious man to set foot in Japan in eons.

And so you do, with a deep bow and a mutter of your name, "I've come to an understanding that to kill the man I wish dead might take more than one lifetime," you proclaimed, "and I've been told you're the one to turn to."

Tokyo, 2018

ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna felt something strange the moment Itadori Yuji fell face-first into Tokyo Colony No. 1. However, he couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was, like the dull wistfulness of an old perfume. Itadori Yuji sensed it too, but had little time to muse over such things when he was too busy fighting to try to locate Higuruma Hiromi.

"Kogane, show me player Higuruma Hiromi," you order, looking at the information popping up, "his points are gone. Is he the one who changed the rule?" You don't wait for an answer before continuing, "It doesn't matter; he might still know something. Ikebukuro's close now."

You walk through the concrete and metal jungle; these people have built themselves miles upon miles of castles, you think, Sukuna probably enjoys watching them crumble.

When you approach the theater you were told Higuruma resides in, a boy walks out. As soon as he catches a glimpse of you, he halts, standing on guard on the other side of the road.

ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna has seen many faces, but yours was one that hadn't faded from his memory by the passing of time.

"I don't want to fight!" The boy exclaimed from across the road, but his shoulders were drawn back, fists curled near his pockets.

"I do not wish to fight either!" You shout back, thinking that another battle may wash off the remains of your strength. Besides, what good would it do to fight a young boy? Although only the look of his pink hair made your teeth clench and stomach tighten.

You watch the boy take a seat on the pavement, "Are you hurt?" You inquire, slowly drawing closer across the pavement.

"Just taking a breather!" He shouts, but you decide to approach regardless.

ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna who laughs. He howls like a maniac inside Yuji's head, sending strange vibrations throughout the boy's body.

"Are you alright?" You ask the boy, watching him nod as he gulps the water you handed him. The resemblance is striking, you think, but perhaps I'm just thinking too much of it.

"Thank you," he puts the empty water bottle by his side, "I'm sorry I drank all your water."

"It's nothing." You assure him, "Have you seen Higuruma here? I've a question for him."

"I don't think he's the kind to answer questions," Yuji reflected, getting up from the sidewalk.

"I won't leave him much of a choice." You asserted, watching the boy's doubtful expression, "Do you have any insight you may offer on his technique?"

"Well, I don't think I understand it, really, but.." Yuji starts explaining, watching your brows furrow as you nod along at his descriptions.

You thank him, parting curtly before turning away towards the theater.

"Wait!" Yuji exclaims behind you, "What's the question? Maybe I'll save you the trouble."

You doubt his words, but turn back to face him, "There's a man I'm looking to kill," you disclosed, "trust me, you'd want him dead too,” you chuckle, pausing for a moment, but deciding there's no harm in asking, "Sukuna, do you know where he is?"

Yuji freezes, his heartbeat quickening at the mention of the name, his wide eyes pointed straight at you.

"Didn't think so," you sigh.

ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna who pops out as a mouth carved in Yuji's cheek, causing you to jump back slightly at the bizarre sight while he taunted loudly;

"You're not going to tell her, brat?"

_

tag list: @saoirseirose, @marimeown, @http-dilflvr Thank you guys for the wonderful comments on part one, hope this one doesn't disappoint

[7ndipity]

Soft

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Your first morning with Yoongi reminds you of just how soft he is.

Warnings: Suggestive, not proofread

A/N: This is nothing but tooth-rotting fluff, I don't even know where I was going with this, but it is what it is. And yes, I'm daydreaming about foggy October mornings in the middle of July, it's my escapism, leave me alone.

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

It was one of those quiet, early mornings when everything was still except for the occasional faded leaf drifting lazily past as you stared out the kitchen window, waiting for coffee to brew.

You didn't realize you weren't alone anymore until you felt a pair of arms wrapping around your middle, making you smile instantly as Yoongi pressed his face into your shoulder.

"Morning." He said, voice gravely from sleep.

"Morning, you're warm." You hummed contentedly.

"You're cold." He said as his hands found yours, fingers already chilled by the morning air.

"Come back to bed." He breathed against your neck, pressing a sleepy kiss to your skin as he spoke, lips lingering longer than usual.

"I didn't realize you were so needy in the mornings." You mused.

"Is that a problem?" He asked.

"Nope, I could stay right here quite happily all day." You said, leaning back against him to further your point, making him chuckle.

"That can be arranged." He hummed, digging his fingers into your sides a bit to make you squirm.

It was moments like this with him when you couldn't fathom how some people had the view that Yoongi was a cold or indifferent person, when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

When you had first started dating, there had definitely been a level of shyness that almost bordered on standoffish, but you had quickly come to understand that it came from a place caution due to his past, but you'd been more than willing to work through it and wait patiently as he let down those walls one by one.

You remember the first time he invited you to his studio, watching him work, mouth drawn into a pout of concentration as his finger flew across the keyboard.

"You're staring." He said, shooting a side-long glance at you.

"So?" You asked. "You're pretty."

He didn't respond, choosing to keep his eyes on the screen in front of him, but you didn't miss the faint dusting of pink that crept across his face, making you grow more confident, leaning over and planting a kiss on his cheek, making him splutter out a surprised laugh.

"What was that for?" He asked, flustered.

"Nothing, I just wanted to." You shrugged, turning back to your phone leaving him staring at you, bemused.

Little moments had built up over the course of a few weeks, fleeting touches and pecks here and there, with his moves always seeming to be slightly wary, as if you'd run away if he wasn't careful, though you had absolutely no intentions of going anywhere.

The breaking point had finally come last night as you'd sat together as he voiced his frustrations about a current project he was struggling to finish.

"What do you usually do when you can't write?" He'd asked you.

"Drink." You chuckled, gesturing to the glass in your hand, making him snort. "Think about you."

"Noo!" His face scrunched up, making you laugh.

When you quieted though, you noticed his eyes lingering on you. You don't know what it was exactly that you said or did, but as he stared at you, you could see the final wall crumble as he suddenly leaned in to claim your lips.

At first, it was so soft and sweet, you could've cried from the way he held you, like you were made of glass, but when you deepened it, winding a hand into the hair at the nape of his neck, you'd felt a tiny shiver ripple through him as he sucked in a shaky breath before caving entirely, pushing you back against the cushions as he chased after your lips.

"What?" You asked, looking up at him confusion.

Now, as you finally convinced him to venture out for a very late breakfast, you could see the subtle differences in his movements with and around you.

As the two of you walked along, he suddenly grabbed for your wrist, pulling you to a stop.

He just shook his head before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was still more than enough to leave you dazed by the time he pulled away.

"What was that for?" You asked.

He shrugged. "Just wanted to." He said with a smirk before continuing down the road, still holding your hand, you biting back a grin as you trailed after him.

[doodles-in-sand]

"No, wait-

Please don't go-

----, please, you can't die-"

"don't leave me"

(this piece has a partner fic :) since tumblr HATES links though the fic is under the cut, and link to the ao3 ver will be in reblogs <3)

Kirisaki Shidou opens his eyes to a field of flowers.

It is calm, peaceful. In his hands is a bouquet of flowers, unlike any in the field. A rose, beautiful and bright red. A hyacinth, bluer than the sky above. Baby’s breath, small and innocent. And a bird of paradise, her favourite. 

A gust of wind, brushing past his head, like a familiar touch caressing his hair. He turns, and standing there, alive and well, is his family. His wife, his sons, exactly as he remembered them. Alive, healthy.

He watches as his sons run in the field like the children they are, and he feels not longing, but joy. He hears them laugh and yell joyfully. It feels familiar, domestic. 

They run past him, energetic as ever, in a childish game of tag. In their hands are flowers from the bouquet he holds. Baby’s breath and hyacinth, flowers that remind him of them, of their innocence, of their smiling faces.

And he looks at his wife, her hair billowing in the breeze. He can hear her laugh as she watches their sons run and play.

She turns to look at him, smiling, and in her hands is a rose like the one he holds. 

And for a moment, he, too, is alive once more. For a moment, he is the man who has lost nothing, who can smile genuinely. 

For a moment, he is not a murderer.

But then he takes a step towards them, and the moment fades. He blinks, and his sons are nowhere to be seen. In their place, where he last saw their smiling faces, last heard their youthful laughs, are patches of flowers, wilting and grey. 

The flowers that were in their hands lay wilted on the ground.

…their flowers in his hands wilt as well, crumbling in his hands.

The feeling that rises in his chest is disturbingly familiar.

He looks up at his wife, her figure now standing alone in the vast field of flowers. She is turned away from him, and she is still. So still he could almost mistake her for a statue, if not for her hair still flowing with the gentle breeze.

And for a moment, he is the man with everything at stake. For a moment, he is the desperate doctor who would do anything to save what's left of his family.

For a moment, he is a selfish gardener, willing to sacrifice it all for the sake of one.

He takes another step towards her.

Her figure blurs at the edges.

…wait, no, dont…

He takes another step. Flowers die at his feet. He does not notice.

She does not move.

Don't leave, please-

He takes another step, and then another, reaching out his hand. Flowers die with each step. He does not Care. He does not care about the flowers. He cares about his family

With each step, the rose in his hand withers. He quickens his pace, reaching his hand out in desperation.

Please, you have to live, you can’t die! 

At some point, she turns, when he is just close enough that his hand brushes against her hair, and she smiles.

Please don't leave me alone-

…And then she’s gone. Her figure dissolves into the breeze as strings of light blue, drifting away along with the petals of her rose.

He looks down at the bouquet in his hands.

Only one flower remains.

And like it, he, too, is alone.

He looks down at the trail of wilting flowers at his feet, and at the wilted remains of his family, and finally, he understands the weight of his actions. Finally, finally, he understands his hypocrisy.

And in that moment, he is a man who has lost everything. In that moment, he is the man who took and took and gained nothing. 

In that moment, he knows that he is a selfish, disgusting murderer.

…

Kirisaki Shidou opens his eyes to the ceiling of a prison.

It is a once-unfamiliar sight that he is beginning to become uncomfortably familiar with.

Sitting up from his bed, he presses his palms into his eyes, choking back a sob, trying and trying to rid his mind of his dream. Trying to rid it of the memories of his murder, and of its memories of what he's lost.

…In the end, he only really succeeds in making his gloves wet.

He stands up, ensuring that his eyes are dry before changing out his gloves for a new pair. He takes a deep breath, before setting himself to work. There's no time for grieving, here. There are people who need medical attention. The prisoners’ injuries were of more importance.

…besides, he doesn’t deserve to grieve. To grieve is to make peace, to come to terms. That would be too good for a murderer like him

[atlaswav]

PARADISE LOST ☾

INFO: 664 words, blade x gn!reader SYNOPSIS: your memory is only a spectre in the waking world and the world of dreams and nightmares. Blade chooses to suffer to hold a morsel of your existence once again. AUTHOR'S NOTE: ik i said blade was grandpa-core but like hear me out on this one (desperate men). also this is an old draft i just edited. 2 works in 1 day is absolutely unheard of for me don't get used to it. i want sleep but sleep don't want me.

Blade dreams of paradise and eternal damnation. 

That’s what you are to him.

Memories of you were the sole melody of his nightmares and his dreams, haunting him like a vengeful ghost in his fitful slumber, wiling away his voice of reason. In his dreams, your eyes are effervescent, and you reach out at him. To follow you, to help you, he doesn’t know. Doesn’t care. He just wants you to take him. 

In his nightmares, you do the same. Your gaze wanders behind him, yet when he turns, nothing trails behind. You wade in murky, knee deep waters – lukewarm, not cold – but you never smile. 

Or do you?

Recollection of your face becomes lost in the endless fog. He grapples at it, falls in the water, recomposes himself, but he can’t find your face again. 

Your memory becomes a spectre in the back of his mind, and he simply can’t find it in himself to let you go. Those final wisps of rich laughter and warm touch would be replaced by the cold of your absence. 

Cold, rigid. Rigor mortis, or lifeless. 

Tacky with the blood drying, crusting, riddled into your skin with a sadistic artist’s eye. Your eyes were nearly as cold and distant as your touch, focused on some point beyond – and yet if he looked close enough, he could see the cosmos reflected in them. 

Was that where you were now? Watching this pathetic farce of his from the heavens? 

Blade hated himself for it. This pining thing he’d been reduced to.

He knew that short-lived species such as yourself could only exist through memory, lest they leave such a profound mark on the galaxy that the history books permit their names. Humans. Your bones and blood could crumble so easily. 

He supposed he was the same way, another lifetime ago. 

And even with what he had to endure, a million blades pointed at his own heart, he takes it upon himself to remember you.

There was also bone splitting in his dreams. Always resonant, always  deafening, but never resolute. It echoed through the prison of fog where he desperately scrambled to find you again. Almost taunting. Not quite. Those slivers of your memory were his anchor. 

The thought of bringing you back had crossed his mind, however – he ached for it as a sick man to a remedy, a sinner awaiting repentance. 

He craved your life like a drowning man, like the bound souls in graves craved solace and the desolate craved restoration. 

But you were fading. Fading, like he was. 

He just didn’t realise how short of a time it’d be. 

He didn’t realise just how cruel the sands of time were, grinding while your corpse decayed until all that is left is a hollow set of eyes in a skull of aged ivory. 

He didn’t realise exactly how fragile you were, when your cold, freezing fingers brushed his own, and he realised he was too late. 

Mara stricken, they called it. 

The fates were cruel in their verdicts. 

Blade knew he would face a death of the same mechanism, corpse disfigured to the point of no recognition, but he didn’t care. 

Anger gnawed at his conscience like the beast it was, raised its hackles as guilt fuelled its ferocity.

But your voice seemed to haunt him even in his waking hours. The wistful tones of your voice plaguing him like the mara stricken’s malady. Sometimes, he wondered if it was finally his time, at long last. Your voice would become so real, almost tangible – as if he could reach out and your hand would be waiting for his, your pulse thrumming beneath your thin skin. 

There was light, too, in his dreams. Light that promised home and salvation and a cure.

But it didn’t matter. Not without you.

There was no light in the chasm of his mind, but your memory kept him sane. Eternal damnation, a spiral of malady, until you could finally be found again. 

written by @atlaswav , published 16th of July, 2024.

[gravityglitch-blog]

"Falling To You"

Uzi hadn't known what to expect when she had jumped into the pit at the heart of the old cathedral.

Maybe to fall for hours before being dashed to pieces in jagged darkness.

Tumbling out into the midst of outer space was the last thing on her mind.

Floating in stardust, a planet in fiery death throes before her, she wondered if any of this was real. It was nothing like what she'd heard of in school (though now she wished she'd paid more attention.) For one thing, she could breathe. She could still hear her heart thrumming away inside her. Wasn't space supposed to be an airless eternity where no one could hear you scream? To test her theory, Uzi shouted an expletive at the top of her voice, a word that would have made her dad blue-screen on the spot if he'd heard her. The sound echoed into the void, slowly fading away. Well then, not outer space as she knew it. Another cruel illusion of the Solver? She didn't have time to think about it, because another scream cut the silence. Some distance away, there was a burst of light, like a door opening and closing quickly.

And then N was there, spinning head over feet and struggling to steady himself. He was clutching a red canister to his chest as though life depended on it.

"N?!" His gaze locked on her at once, relief washing away the fear and confusion on his face. "Uzi!" "What are you doing here?" she demanded. "The whole point of this was so you could escape! Her words carried an edge of anger, but they didn't cut. She was too happy to see him.

She'd thought she would never see him again.

Wrestling with the canister in his arms, N answered, "I don't want to escape! I want you!" Finally she recognized what the object was: a fire extinguisher. He pulled the trigger and used the ensuing burst as a makeshift jet, extending his wings to help with power and direction, guiding himself towards her. The madness of the last few days crashed into her, releasing a peal of near-crazed giggling. "What are you even doing?" "I saw it in a movie once!" Uzi swiped her hands over her visor, hoping to hide the tears that had begun to glow in her eyes. "You were supposed to get away! You were supposed to be safe!" Gliding ever closer, N cried out, "I'm not losing you!" Uzi tried to kick and propel herself forward, as though she were swimming, but only managed to throw herself into a dizzying spiral.

The universe stopped whirling as soon as N got near enough to scoop her into his arms.

All of the barriers shielding her heart crumbled. She wrapped herself around him and began scattering kisses and heartfelt insults all over his face.

"You are so stupid!" (kiss) "So, so stupid!" (kiss) "Why?" (kiss) "Why did you do this?"

Tightening his embrace, making no effort to hide his own smile or tears, N said softly, "We made a promise, remember? No matter what, we would stick together." Uzi rested her forehead against his, letting her hands drift through his hair and over his shoulders to assure herself that he was real. Her question came out as a tired whisper. "What will happen now?" "It doesn't matter," N said, running his thumb along the edge of her cheek. "Whatever it is, we'll take it on...you and me."

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Rev. 22:20 - Chapter Three: Pray

Warnings: Talk of religion, angst, sexually suggestive language. Word count: ~2.5k

Summary: The novice deals with Aemond's presence in the sept.

Author's note: I do not have a tag list. Please follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications to be updated when I post a fic. Community labels are for cops.

She cries all the way to King’s Landing, the words of her father echoing in her mind.

“Be grateful your fate does not lie with the Silent Sisters.”

Keeping her tongue in her head is a small mercy. She’ll be stripped of her House name, her status, her possessions, everything she has ever known is being taken away, all for a life in service of the Seven.

Her family aren’t even particularly pious, they just don’t know what else to do with her. Not now, anyway.

She sobs, head bowed as her father delivers the news with a withering sigh. She feels as though she is being treated as a matter that must be dealt with, a task to be struck from a list.

“I am your daughter!” She wants to scream. Instead she says nothing, helpless to the dissolution of her familial ties, forced to watch as the foundation of everything that makes her her crumbles away to nothing.

The Septa that is there to greet her upon her arrival is cold and stony faced. She spares but a mere glance around the vastness of the city that sprawls out around her, her senses jarringly alight from the sights, sounds and smells that are so different from home, before she is ushered inside.

The modest building hosts a series of simple, sparsely furnished rooms, which house the Septas not in service of noble families. Each room has a narrow single bed with a Seven Pointed Star above it, nothing more, no space for personal effects, not even a window to the outside world. This is home now, and it feels desolate.

She is stripped of the clothes she has travelled in, they are taken away and she never sees them again, the final remnants of her identity cast away, much like she has been.

Her hair is washed and her skin scrubbed raw, an act that feels as though it is as much to punish her as it is to cleanse her. She is grateful at least that the robes she is given to wear aren’t scratchy, though much more drab than what she is used to. She is not given the seven coloured cord to tie around her waist, or a pendant. It will be a year until she earns those.

Training begins in earnest. Gone are the days of lazy mornings breaking her fast on lemon cakes and honeyed wine. She is woken before the sun has yet to rise, forced into prayer, before being given a watery looking bowl of what she assumes was once oats.

She is tutored on every matter of the Seven. Considering she has never been especially religious, she learns fast, the rod that the Septa brings down upon her knuckles each time she falters or makes a mistake ensures that. By the end of the first week their names irreversibly etched into her brain, the throbbing in her hands serves as a harsh reminder.

Maiden, Mother, Crone. Father, Warrior, Smith. Stranger.

She is allowed nowhere near the Sept for the first six months of her training. The work she is given is back breaking and mind numbing. Washing robes, sweeping floors, preparing food, by the time evening prayer arrives each day she is too exhausted to think. She wonders if the reason that Septas are so devout in their beliefs is because they have been broken down to be too tired to ponder anything else.

Though she adapts quickly to her new way of life, she clings to her anger like a lifeline. It is the only thing she has left that is truly hers, it stokes the fire within her that means she is able to face the monotony of each day. It prickles at her insides as she spoons the tasteless broth of her evening meal into her mouth, resentful of the fact that at the same time her family are hundreds of miles away feasting on roasted meats and freshly baked bread.

Over time, thoughts of her old life fade, but her anger remains the same. When she bows her head in prayer she does not offer up thanks to the Seven, but questions why they have allowed her life to come to this.

She is taken aback by the sense of gratitude she feels when she is finally permitted to enter the Grand Sept. She feels wonder at the way the sunshine streams through the windows, the shadows the icons cast from its light are long and imposing. The vastness of the expansive, echoey space offers a sense of freedom that the confines of the sleeping quarters do not.

It is with quick realisation that she finds it is simply appreciation of the change of scenery, her relief short lived as she is put to work once more sweeping floors, replacing spent candles and tidying up after people that have come to worship.

She is tasked with the duty of taking daily confession, an important stepping stone in her training towards becoming a Septa. There is a part of her that swells with pride at taking on the additional responsibility, it is tangible proof of the fact that she is advancing, recognition of her hard work and ability to memorise and apply the prayers and scripture she has been taught.

It is not until she is actually inside the box that she realises that this is simply further torment. If she is lucky, she will sit through the mild mannered, yet inane ramblings of smallfolk with nothing better to do. If she is unlucky, and frequently she is, it will be someone who leans too close against the partition, the stench of stale ale upon their breath making her wish they’d thought to chew some sage before entering.

The rules for while she is in the Sept are strict. She must never venture beneath, it is where the dragons nest and is out of bounds to her. She must never speak to those that come to worship, unless they speak to her first.

She is told that the Queen enjoys visiting once a week. On the days of her visit, she must not stare, or disturb her prayers and remain silent unless asked a question.

The first time she is ever present for Queen Alicent’s weekly prayers, she does exactly as she’s told. She keeps to herself, moving about the chancel, replacing the spent candles with fresh ones.

She can feel herself being watched and tries her best to ignore it, though in her periphery she sees the tall, silver haired figure dressed in black, knelt beside his mother. She can tell from the patch that covers his eye that it is Prince Aemond.

She wonders why he stares at her so intently, feeling herself grow hot and uncomfortable beneath the intensity of it. Is she doing something wrong? Could she expect a scolding from one of the Septas later regarding some perceived slight?

It annoys her that if she is not permitted to stare, the same rules don’t apply to him. She is not in a position to challenge it, however, so simply continues her duties under the weight of his scrutiny.

When they finally finish their prayers and turn to leave, she chances a glance upwards in their direction. Her breath catches in her throat when she meets the piercing gaze of the One Eyed Prince. She feels like an animal caught in a snare with how he looks at her, yet she finds herself unable to look away.

Lingering beneath the hunger of his gaze is something else, she recognises it, she has seen it in herself. There is anger, white hot and tempestuous, it stirs unrest within her. Unable to bear it any longer, she finally looks away. And then he’s gone.

She pushes Aemond from her mind for the rest of the week. A spoiled Prince is the least of her worries, especially when getting to the end of each day feels like such a colossal effort. Yet each night as she drifts to sleep, her dreams are haunted by the intent behind his unwavering stare. It frightens and excites her and she awakens with a pounding heart and stickiness between her legs.

The following week, the morning of the Queen’s usual visit, she is plucked from her usual duties by a Septa who tells her she is to meet with the Queen. When she’d usually be sweeping the stone floor of the Sept, she is being scrubbed with the same intensity she was upon first arriving in the capital.

There is no time to think of who will be checking and replacing the candles, as she’s guided towards the Queen. Kind brown eyes and a warm smile greet her, though it is clear that this is a conversation that will be about her, rather than one she’ll be included in.

She stands very much on the sidelines while the Septa and the Queen discuss her various attributes, she simply nods and smiles, feeling like she is livestock being displayed at a market.

A shiver runs down her spine when the feeling of being watched returns and when she bows her head, sparing a glance to the side, he’s there again watching her. He hovers by a pillar, his posture rigid, eye fixed upon her unblinkingly.

His gaze is more heated than before, and she’d feel frightened were it not for the two women standing beside her. He looks as though he wants to devour her, and his mere presence renders her unable to concentrate on the rest of the conversation between the Septa and Alicent.

She’s grateful when the Queen takes her leave, assuming Aemond will have gone with her, yet the feeling of unease never fully leaves her. She can still feel his presence, it’s like an apparition that shrouds her every movement.

When it is time for afternoon confession, her fluttering nerves have quieted somewhat, replaced by the feeling of obstinate boredom that accompanies listening to the trivialities of the smallfolk.

She settles into the booth, a shadow passing over the partition as someone seats themselves beside her.

“Blessings be upon thee,” she greets them, “are you here to confess?”

They draw in a hesitant, nervous breath. “Y-yes, I am here to confess.”

His voice unnerves her, it is soft and saccharine, yet there is a sinister edge to it, like being coaxed to one’s death on the dulcet notes of a lullaby. She pushes the thought from her mind, trying her best to remain calm.

She has been trained for this. It is not uncommon for people to feel shame or apprehension when making a confession. She does her best to encourage the man, keeping her tone soft. “Then unburden yourself to me, and be cleansed of your sins.”

Another pause. She allows him a moment to collect his thoughts.

“I-I covet what my brother has, and I am resentful that as first born he is given everything and squanders it.”

Not particularly scandalous, she offers up simple advice, hoping it will be enough to sate the man seated on the other side of the partition. “You must pray to The Smith for the strength to overcome your jealous nature.”

She is surprised that he doesn’t immediately get up and leave. Most usually give thanks and make a swift exit, believing themselves to be absolved of their sins. He remains seated, and she hears him speak again.

“I harbour ill intent towards my nephew. I have never forgiven him for taking my eye. I wish for his in exchange.”

She cannot help it, but she gasps. There is only one man in all of Westeros whose eye has been taken by his nephew - it is a tale told in hushed tones in every feasting hall from Oldtown, all the way to White Harbor.

Prince Aemond sits beside her, the same man that has gazed upon her with hunger in his seeing eye. A partition is all that separates her from him.

Is this a test? Will she get into trouble if she does not treat him as she does everyone else?

“Pray…pray to the Father for the wisdom to accept the justice you will never receive, and to the Warrior to have the valour to forgive such a slight.”

Why won’t he leave?

“I have been having lustful thoughts…about a woman, a novice from this very Sept.”

She swallows thickly, her heart hammering wildly against her ribcage, closing her eyes as she draws in a steading breath.

I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.

“I imagine taking her virtue on the very altar to which the people of King’s Landing offer up their prayers, I think about how she’d feel writhing beneath me as I rut into her, I–”

Her breath escapes her in a whine, fear and exhilaration heating her blood, causing her pulse to race. She feels trapped, this isn’t fair. 

“P-please…” Her voice is trembling, her breathing ragged.

She startles slightly when, abruptly, he stands and leaves without a word. She feels bewildered, dizzy, unable to comprehend what she has heard. Was he playing a cruel joke on her?

She has little time to ponder on it as another person steps into the confession booth not long after Aemond has departed.

The rest of the day passes in a daze, it feels surreal. Perhaps she imagined it? She has grown used to a life of monotony, perhaps this is her mind’s way of creating excitement.

For another week, Prince Aemond plagues her dreams. This time it is more than just his stare she sees. His words come to her, clear as day, “I have been having lustful thoughts”, yet when she turns to look, his words are coming from a looking glass, and it is only herself she sees.

She is quietly surprised and, deep down, a little disappointed, when the day of the Queen’s visit arrives and this time it is not Aemond that accompanies her. A young, fair haired woman with a dreamy look about her hovers by Alicent’s side, her posture slouched. Alicent’s daughter, Princess Helaena, she assumes. She wonders where her younger brother is today. 

There is quiet relief to be found in the absence of his oppressive gaze, yet she cannot help the sense of dread that settles into her gut, there is something foreboding about the lack of his presence.

She has a feeling, something in her bones, that tells her he’ll appear to her today, she just isn’t sure when. As the day presses on, impatience takes over her, a restlessness guides her actions as she goes about her daily tasks, a feeling of yearning, fear, anticipation.

Hope has all but left her when she retires to bed that night, changed out of her robes and into her nightgown, settled beneath her blanket. She is about to snuff out the candle when a flash of silver hair shifting in the shadows of her doorway catches her eye.

“I knew you’d come,” she whispers quietly.

Chapter two || Chapter four || Series masterlist

[vxlentinescookies]

Can you do a Golden Cheese Cookie x Female Reader/Cookie headcanons?

→ ❛Treasure❜

→ Pairing ; Golden Cheese Cookie x Fem!Reader → Quote ; ❛❛She always found comfort in your arms reassuring her that you were there, you were alive, and that you wouldnt crumble so easily.❜❜ → Genre ; Headcanons → A/N ; Very brief cw for mentions of trauma under the cut!! but other than that, i hope you enjoy this <3

To have won the heart of the Ruler of the Golden Cheese Kingdom is no easy feat, but to be her who holds the heart of her queen, that makes you part of one of the many priceless treasures she holds within her vicinity. One of the many beautiful treasures, it who she holds dear to her, so close, so deep, you’re more than just a treasure—You’ve become her life.

To be the girlfriend of Golden Cheese cookie means being someone she holds to high regards, has high hopes for you, and has great pride in who you’ve become and/or can be.

You’ll be showered in treasures from here on end, things that your little mind couldnt phantom to have, yet here they are, its what comes with being her lover.

From the finest of silks to the shiniest of golds, you’ll constantly be wearing something of those elements in your body with her by your side.

She’s ambitious, and in some sense, she expects you to be ambitious too! Not to her same degree but in some sense at least. Even then, she’ll still love you if you arent, after all, you’re her greatest treasure regardless.

It was late in the night when you heard her, crying while holding you in her arms, almost if in a trance. You moved your hands towards her face, softly, carefully, holding it in your own hands before whispering sweet nothings to her. It’d take a bit of time but she’d calm down soon enough, gripping onto your body like you were going to fade away. This vulnerable side of hers, was only seen by very, very few people, not even those around her, the other ancients, saw her this vulnerable… But you, her greatest treasure, was her grounding point, and after nightmares like that night, she always found comfort in your arms reassuring her that you were there, you were alive, and that you wouldnt crumble so easily.

Its hard for Golden Cheese to admit that she’s traumatized at first, but after a bit of time she comes through with the fact that she needs time to heal.

Having you with her through those moments brings her a lot of comfort and security, she falls in love with you even more, even deeper.

Equally, she’ll be there with you if you ever need to be held or if you need to be protected, its only fair she protects her greater treasure with the same fervor she loves you

Please be patient with her, she’s touch starved and hurt, and while not delicate, she’ll melt in your arms if you allow her to be vulnerable when she needs to.

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

MASS limited edition book + all songs lyrics translations

ROLLIN'

Crumbling with the setting sun To the drowned palm of my hand Anywhere I go, anywhere I turn I'm falling into the darkness With the fear of regurgitating Writhing in my head Screaming until I rot away The now in which I struggle An endless future, into the darkness I'm writhing as I fall Even if the answer is going to fade away Please don't change Even as our love moves

Crumbling with the setting sun To the drowned palm of my hand Falling falling endlessly Deep down into that darkness A petition that a voice threw up Go forward with a cluster of ringing sounds Frenzy approaching, the hour draws near The now in which I struggle An endless future, into the darkness Struggling to cross over Even if the answer means nothing Please don't change Even as our love moves I'm writhing as I fall Even if the answer is going to fade away Please don't change Even through the snarling A petition that a voice threw up Go forward with a cluster of ringing sounds Frenzy approaching, reunion is here.

...

NOX

Chased by silence The drowning answers are always beautiful What is left behind Lamenting over the all too familiar demons I spit up the choking beat in my throat And open my bloodshot eyes wide I won't hesitate anymore, I'll wrench them open Swaying, swaying The answer is flowering Words that can't be shaken right now Let me beautifully drag out an answer The smirk of greed, warped by insatiability Is always shattered somewhere. And those left behind Lamenting over the all too familiar demons And brooding Right now, moving towards a changing light

I spit up the choking beat in my throat And open my bloodshot eyes wide I won't hesitate anymore, I'll wrench them open Swaying, swaying The answer is flowering Words that can't be shaken right now Let me beautifully drag out an answer Now is the time to turn it into conviction The target is impossible to miss, take all of this! Devour everything until sorrow is eliminated. The unquenchable flame rises. Feelings that can't be put into words Embrace the answer within you. The colour of never giving up I spit up the choking beat in my throat And open my bloodshot eyes wide I won't hesitate anymore

...

HOLD

I screamed in agony Our love is seeping out Before it overflowed I slammed it shut Break only what can be broken Even though this love has been sewn together I can't let go of you I don't need anyone to understand this Even when I throw it all away let me hold you like crazy A disturbance that has really horrified you (Try) So sore that you are entangled (Try) Crawling, even when blood is oozing out (Try) I can't shred this love (Try) To the point of disorder and turmoil (Try) So sore that you are entangled (Try) Crawling, even when blood is oozing out (Try) I can't shred this love Even if I have to hang it all on the promise Of swallowing a thousand needles Even when I throw it all away let me hold you like crazy A disturbance that has really horrified you (Try) So sore that you are entangled (Try) Crawling, even when blood is oozing out (Try) I can't shred this love (Try) To the point of disorder and turmoil (Try) So sore that you are entangled (Try) Crawling, even when blood is oozing out (Try) I can't shred this love

...

濁 (Daku)

Overflowing thoughts Put into words that grate and disturb Can't be taken back Even now, intermittently The distorted truth Sinks to the level of junk Stuffed intentions A vision of the ideal Falls down in time A bleeding darkness The sadness can be traced out In the voice I spit out as it crumbles In the slanted sound image, Is the meaning of being broken Remorse gnaws me I started to fly with those dirty wings I saw a nightmare of all my sins The distorted truth Sinks to the level of junk Stuffed intentions A vision of the ideal Falls down in time A bleeding darkness The sadness can be traced out In the voice I spit out as it crumbles I want the broken meaning of the sights and sounds I leant on To hold me The voice I force out at your closed eyes Gets the sorrow to reach it's breaking point Love for the meaning entwined in chaos Is bound to my remorseful conscience.

...

THE PALE

So far away a freshness in the air A painted ideal. Unaddressed. So far away a freshness in the air A painted ideal. Unaddressed. If even this broken body can forgive me It will rot away.

Dim the shadow that creaks with sadness And fades away from my heart. And brings the dawn. So far away a freshness in the air A painted ideal. Unaddressed. If even this broken body can forgive me It will rot away. Dim the shadow that creaks with sadness And fades away from my heart. The spinning night grows pale, As I embrace the meaning I’ve been looking for. Even broken sadness melts out of me, Somewhere it will rot away. Dim the shadow that creaks with sadness And fades away from my heart. How much will the burnt out past Scorch the soul? It even burns out in my heart. At dawn So far So far away. A freshness in the air A painted ideal. Unaddressed.

...

MOMENT

Change the shape of the connected nights Follow the light, together Hope for eternity, so much that you sing I want to stay here Bring a season that passes by with dazzling days The two of us will never fade away Right now, endlessly These undecorated days that pass Just dreams piling up Hopefully one day they will embrace you completely I piled up the moments in my heart The two of us will never fade Right now, endlessly These undecorated days that pass Extending a hand to wish for a tomorrow Showed the strength I had to live Right now, endlessly These undecorated days that pass Just dreams piling up Hopefully one day they will embrace you completely I piled up the moments in my heart Interlinked nights change their shape Once we follow the light, together

...

BARBARIAN

The greed I played with Sloppy and bleeding Scattered entertainment, greedy vindication A superb view of the emotional corruption Get over the madness of the number play Does that fake smile of yours Hide a subservience behind it? When you slay the scornfully smiling melancholy, Will you scratch it away to find it's true nature underneath? Scattered entertainment, greedy vindication A superb view of the emotional corruption Get over the madness of the number play The voices that fly around Scatter with a glare as I knew they would. The hate of shapeless greed Was suspended upside down A fading thin smile fluctuates through the day Making these eyes waver Towards where the howling of darkness echoes The dreams contradicting each other The voices unable to protect Distortion brings the darkness When you slay the scornfully smiling melancholy, Will you scratch it away to find it's true nature underneath? Scattered entertainment, greedy vindication A superb view of the emotional corruption Get over the madness of the number play Dreams that are fading. You are fragile They don't fade away. So much so that they are stacking up The hate of shapeless greed Was suspended upside down And the fading thin smile Seems like madness Where in the darkness will you fall down so lonely?

...

FRENZY

Shake off the feelings Reject the body which has been cut off somewhere An abandoned heart Bursts forth and pushes your resisting voice Don't forget that killing Ah, should we abandon The unnecessary anguish? Silence is a powerful blade Noise that I throw up and throw away It has not reduced in my sloppy mouth It sounds as good as the sky. What a waste Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy corruption With depravity Reject the body which has been cut off somewhere An abandoned heart Bursts forth and pushes your resisting voice Don't forget that killing Oh flapping wings All this unnecessary distress I just don't have any time to be tied up like this The noise I manage to spit out and cast away My impudence slowly tumbles out I don't care if I'm the only one it pierces Neither you nor I are as sweet as we are often perceived I'll lead you there, shall we run together?

...

LAST SONG

The answers that stack up over time Sing the connected nights, As if my heart is screaming I want to reclaim the lost time Come back to the light A future so dazzling, tearing through the noise Unforgettable memories shake my body In the midst of despair I saw a dream That's right, a wandering voice Once more, withered, like that day How far will the future burn Show me a wandering voice, right here Shout, like that day, once more Really wish for the answer The answers that stack up over time Sing the connected nights, As if my heart is screaming I want to reclaim the lost time Come back to the light A future so dazzling, tearing through the noise Unforgettable memories shake my body In the midst of despair I saw a dream That's right, a wandering voice Once more, withered, like that day How far will the future burn Show me a wandering voice, right here Shout, like that day, once more Really wish for the answer For hope And now that you've you taught me All the reasons for me to live That's right, a wandering voice Once more withered, like that day How far will the future burn Show me a wandering voice, right here Let the unchanging vow of this song Resonate endlessly Until the end That wandering voice, right here Shout like that day once more Really wish for the answer Wish ...

Notes: So I made this post with the intention to point out that all those text pages are lyrics translations, so they are prioritized (and in bold font) but I also used some of the translations from MASS normal edition lyrics booklet as well as other alternative translations. A big pain for me was that the booklet and Limited Edition book translations do not match and sometimes even have very different meanings even though they are both supposed to be official translations, also they both occasionally look like they were done with google translate... Blinding Hope is not included because I was at 30/30 images already and it's translations can easily be found everywhere. I am sorry about the formatting, Tumblr kept removing bold from random letters or words (I guess it hates entire paragraphs being bold?), I know it makes the post messy but idk how to fix it. A big thanks to the archive keeper @rad-is-more for all the scans.

[grapejuicestyless]

can you do a conrad fic based on sad, beautiful, tragic by t.s.?

Sad, Beautiful, Tragic.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Summery: Y/n is young, naive but not stupid. Conrad had made one too many empty promises for even her to continue believing.

My feet stood cemented on the pavement, stuck to the grounds that lingered in deadly details of him, but never us. Not now, not ever.

I felt like an idiot, showing up now, so late. A random autumn night in Boston. The streets in the city still bustling with life, longing for the scents of pumpkin spice and apple cider. The further into the suburbs you drove, the quieter it grew. The trees became plentiful, black streets becoming canvases of orange and yellow.

We weren’t right. It was obvious. Laurel reprimanded me for this, my great attempts to salvage what little we had left between us. A dwindling flame, a broken glass spilling wine across a pearl white table cloth. She called me a fool, too blinded by what I wanted to work so badly in my head that I refused what was being presented right in front of me.

His snide remarks with his school friends, all much smarter than I. They knew it. I was never a prodigy, a prospect, gifted. Each dig was minor, easily brushed away like dust on the pages of a forgotten story page. But Conrad always had a way with his words, a tongue that made even the kindest comments come out like daggers. Backhanded and cruel, aimed at the naive.

Gullible was never written on the ceiling yet each time he smiled and pointed I looked. I was a scarlet thread, wrapped tightly around his thumb.

When the door opened, Susannah greeted me with a sad smile. Her eyes spoke a thousand sentences, pleading for me to leave, walk away while I still could. But Conrad had promised, promised that if I just gave him one more chance it would be different.

And I believed him. I believed him because when I met him, he was a good man. Shy, sweet, observant. He was charming, and god he was always handsome. The Conrad I fell for never lied to me. If we disagreed, it was quickly resolved.

Now it seemed like each phone call was just another nail in the coffin. Another reason flying by, red flags blowing in the wind begging me to follow, to leave. It was walking on eggshells, fragile. I was clumsy and they broke. I sit alone in my room sometimes, phone beeping to its death, hanging off my shoulder and I forget. I forget all the reasons I am fighting, what I am fighting for.

But then he comes back, just like he always does. A vicious cycle. He throws daggers at my deepest hurts, freshest wounds to have the pleasure to watch me crumble within his grasp. And when I’m too weak to stand, he lifts me back up. Suddenly, my stomach aches, I want to throw up. It’s bubbling up my throat, the guilt is eating at me until I am nothing. How could I ever even forget how wonderful this man is to me, how could I ever want to leave? I wipe my memory of all the nights I spend crying on the floor. We never speak of it, what we’re doing, but the guilty look in his eyes tells me he knows. We both do. I sleep on the floor for another week, I can’t move. I am paralyzed by my heavy heart, a locket around my neck. It’s golden, decorated in whimsical swirls. A picture of Conrad stays with me always, I clench in my fist. I want to rip it off, watch the chain scatter. It weighs me down, I can barely breathe.

I am a good girl, I don’t fight. I stay quiet while Conrad fights himself. I don’t buy into his attempts to work me up anymore. I know that with him, with us, we are destined to see storms. I know better now that once they pass, the sky will clear and the tragedy of it all will fade away. So I wait. I always wait for that moment of clarity. I refuse to think when I’m so worked up.

It’s sad, and it’s beautiful and oh so tragic, the way we dance around each other. How hours ago I was standing outside his door, regretting my naivety, trying to salvage us. Now I sit in his living room, waiting for him with my legs crossed. The melodic ticking of the clock alerts me of the time. I’m cold, my nose is rosy. I let the house capture me in its warm blanket. A sacred place of safety, I smell Susannah, I smell my mother. I see Belly’s old pictures on the wall in frames and Stevens gifts to Jeremiah and Conrad.

“Y/n/n, hey.” His voice is airy, lips pressed to my temple. I didn’t even hear him coming in the deafening ringing of silence in my ears. My eyes shift to his face, but I cannot move.

“Hi Con.” My voice is coarse, tired. It’s so late, my eyes hurt from being open so long. His arms wrap around me as the couch dips beside my thighs. He’s so warm, so gentle now, I find myself drifting away again. Getting lost in the calm, I forget about how devastating the storm was. I haven’t even picked up all my discarded pieces yet. Somehow, I manage to keep giving away more and more, even now. I am not sure how I can afford this.

Our conversation is warm, long. He talks about school and I talk about mine. With us being alone, I miss any snide comments or judgmental stares. He is so much kinder without the influence of others. He is almost the same man I grew up loving.

“You’ll still visit me, won’t you?” He pleads innocently. The look in his eyes is genuine, I almost crumble. A sharp intake of air is stuck in my throat, my brain becomes re-wired.

I remember the sad looks from Susannah, the fights with my mother. I remember how disappointed Belly was when I left again. How Steven yelled and fought until I was gone. Everyone in my life sees it in a bad light and I still managed to miss it.

Suddenly the golden chain around my neck feels heavy again. It hurts my skin, it’s burning the back of my neck. I hold it in my hand, it’s still heavy in my palm.

“Y/n?” His hand is on my thigh, I can’t breathe. My chest heaves, my throat is burning. There’s a lump stuck in my throat. It’s expanding and my eyes hurt. I’m tired, I’m sick, I’m sad.

Standing up, his hands drop from my lap. I close my eyes so I don’t have to look at him anymore. I can feel my lip quivering while I suck in a harsh breath. My eyebrows are furrowed, fists clenched.

“Y/n, hey, baby…” He cooed at me, palm pressing to my cheek. I am inconsolable, irrevocably damaged. Too lost in our beauty to remember the tragedy, the sadness that defines us. That is us.

“Conrad, I’m leaving.” It comes out sticky. Quiet other than my sniffles and his breathing.

“You just got here, did…have I done something?” I feel his hands slip down to my elbows. He holds me in place son the carpet. It hurts, not because he’s holding too tight, but because his touch burns.

“No, Conrad.” My eyes open, I search his blue ones. I get lost in our deep they are, collecting my thoughts. I feel trapped.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. If I stay any longer I’m afraid I won’t ever leave.” His face is blank until it isn’t. It’s shifting, contorting into something that looks incredibly confused, pained.

“What, what are you saying?” His voice is less calm now, raising. Not quiet reaching the level of desperation I can see building inside of him already.

“It’s a cycle, Con, can’t you see it? We’re toxic and it’s sick because we are the ones letting it be this way. We fight but we never talk. You promise me you’ll get better but you never do! I’m tired of trying to be alright when I’m around you! You don’t make me feel good.” It’s off my chest, yet he hasn’t comprehended any of it.

“Y/n, please. We can work through it, right? I love you, I do. Please just, please. I love you, you have to love me. It doesn’t just go away like that, I love you.” He’s crying now. His blue eyes clouded in a dark overcast. He makes me feel guilty. All self respect I have is gone, and suddenly I’m back in his arms.

My head finds its place on his shoulder, I tuck my face into his neck. Not to be close, but because I feel to ashamed to show it after falling so quickly under his mind games.

Silently, I agree with him. Of course I still love him, I always will. So I stay, a fool who got so close, but remained so far away. He presses another kiss to the side of my head and tells me I won’t regret it. When I wake up alone in his bed, cold the next morning, I know I’ve been blinded to another empty promise. It’s so hard to stay when he’s mean, but it’s even harder when he’s sweet. So I pack my things quietly and leave. I won’t visit him at school. Not until he comes home will we see each other again.

Oddly enough, the thought doesn’t drain me. I don’t dread never seeing him for weeks on end. I don’t regret not choosing somewhere closer to get an education simply to be near him. I am relieved he will be gone. My heart keeps beating.

It’s barely a month before I’m stood back in front of him. Only now the carpet is cold cement and his living room is the train tracks. He is in Boston, he’ll never leave. He tries his hardest to get me to stay. He’s the nicest I’ve ever seen him. He’s persuasive, but in our time apart he doesn’t know I see it less as a genuine feeling from him and more as a twisted tactic of manipulation.

“We can settle down, we’re almost out of college. Just me and you and it’ll be great. If you’d only give us another chance.” He pleads, hands not yet on my skin, but he’s so close. I can feel his warm breath on my skin.

“I don’t want that anymore, Conrad.” I try to be kind about it, I try and blame my distance on myself. It is me who is trying so desperately to break things off. He’ll never know it was his cold heart that shattered our beautiful love. But it’s helpless, he won’t stop.

“Then we’ll travel the world. Y/n, I don’t care, I just want to be with you!” He tries again. Yet all his words are the exact same. He’s not even trying to understand me, I feel like screaming.

“No, no.” I reaffirm. I won’t look at him because it hurts me too much. I know if I look at him I’ll stay again. My chest is closing in on me, I can’t help but reach to hold onto it. My pinky grazes the same locket when I do. It’s dainty, but gorgeous. There’s stacks of photos within it. Mostly of Conrad, but a few of my family underneath.

“I’m not understanding, Y/n. I don’t get it?” He’s desperate, the train is coming. Once it pulls up to the platform, if he hasn’t convinced me one last time to stay, I’ll be forever gone. It’s the final fight, we can feel it.

“All we do is fight, Conrad. I can’t fight anymore. I tried to end it earlier and you promised me it would work out, it would stop but it hasn’t! And I can’t do it anymore.” My hands rest on the bends of his elbows. I hold him close, I look into his eyes finally, I want him to understand me, I beg for him to understand me.

“Then let me fix it. Let me make it better, Y/n. Anything, I’ll do anything I just can’t-don’t walk away.” My pleads are deaf on his ears. He doesn’t care about what I want, and it’s apparent now that he never did. He’s selfish, so he only takes. He wants me but he hates to have to deal with me.

“Conrad, stop!” He’s ranting, my voice is loud over his. A few people turn their heads. It’s so late in the evening, they’re only passing. Ready to go home.

My eyes shift around until everyone has gone back to their own business. The breath that leave my chest is heavy, harsh but quick.

“Please, Con. Please just try and listen to me.” My voice is breaking. Not because my leaving is breaking my heart, but because I am tired. I am tired of staying, of being so weak. I am wasting my youth on a boy who hasn’t matured yet. I deserve more, I crave it.

“There’s no amount of fixing either of us could do to mend whatever’s happened between us. We lost it a long time ago. And I’ll always love you, how could I not? You’re everything to me. But you’re not mine anymore, and I can’t be yours.” My hands slip from his skin to my chest. I try an even out my breathing, again I am reminded of my necklace. It feels wrong to still wear his picture around my neck when I’ve already let him go.

Unclasping it slowly, I let the gold gather in my palm. It’s warm from where it touched my skin. It’s rusting form how often it’s been worn, and my neck feels lighter. I ball up my fist, taking his hand over my other one steadily.

When he feels the warmth mixing with the coolness of the pendant, I can see him giving up. He nods, swallowing hard.

When the train comes, I wave goodbye to him one last time. He’s frozen, hand still holding the locket out and eyes still sad. I wonder how long he’ll stay there, I never see him move even as the train pulls away from the station.

………………………………………………………………………………….

The whirring of the train passing is accompanied by the occasional blowing of its horn. It’s deafening against the heavy silence that’s consumed me. There’s not even a crunch of a leaf to break it. Now that she’s gone, it’s settled in how I’m truly alone. I’ve blown it.

I wait for her to be out of sight. The caboose nothing more than a small speck in the horizon. The moon is high, the wind is chilling. It’s nearly winter in Boston, yet the weather is no where near as cold as my bones. I curl my fingers over her locket, bringing my knuckles to my lips, I breathe over it.

It doesn’t even smell like her. It’s a sad souvenir of pity. She didn’t want me, I’m certain she only gave it to me because she didn’t want a reminder of me either.

I stuff it into my pocket slowly, fingers feeling around the rough cotton of my pants. It sits snug at the bottom of it, right beside the long, handwritten note I prepared for her.

I knew I had my own demons, I know I was a mess. I treated her horribly, I gambled away our love. But this time I was serious. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to make it better.

My words meant little to nothing now. There were no amount of promises I could make when I was already too late.