babylacedream

[babylacedream]

as long as youll spend time with me

i always find myself back to you જ part 10 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty, separation anxiety, wet dream, mini makeout in car, implied lovemaking, edging yall sorry

summary: you dreamt of your first time with bucky in the 40s. you can't help but dream of it, especially since you were feeling jealous.

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called time with me, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

I don't think my mom or my dad think it's funny (Funny) That I'm spending all their money (Money) I know I can't afford it, wish they would just (Check it, hey) Back when I was young I'd ask and I'd get it No matter how hard I'd cry What I wanted they would buy (Yeah) You can't buy my trust When you haven't got the love (Yeah) And when time costs too much Then you'll end up in a rush You can spend everything Long as you'll spend time with me (You'll spend time with me) As long as you'll spend time with me (Hey)

It's been two weeks since you told him of your passing. Bucky seemed to take it well for the most part, except that you couldn't find sharp objects in your apartment anymore. You realize that Bucky hid all the knives from you. You didn't get mad, you understood why he did.

You felt awful for telling him about it, but he deserved to know. Right? You could see that he really didn't want to lose you a second time.

Nonetheless, you went straight to work with Bucky, of course. You were trying to lift a box filled with VHS tapes, which were really heavy.

Before you could even try to lift it for a second time, Bucky scooped up the heavy box like it was nothing for him.

"Oh, thanks."

Bucky just took a glance at you before placing it in the back. Your eyes just followed him, you were astonished yet again.

Right, you forgot that Bucky‘s love language is acts of service. You remembered he was one to believe that actions spoke louder than words.

You were working the counter while Bucky was placing the boxes in the back. You couldn't help but silently giggle. Bucky came back in taking a glance at you again before going in his usual place where the VHS tapes were.

"Why don’cha date me, huh?" A flirtatious voice said. You turned around to see a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes talking with Bucky.

You twitched your nose out of angry. Who in their right minds thinks it’s polite to just come up to people to straight up ask them out?

You really wanted to storm over there and tell that lady that he’s not available. But alas, he wasn’t yours.

You defeatedly turned back to the counter, pouting. It’s ridiculous that you were pouting over this. But you can’t help it. He was your best, best, best friend.

"Sorry, I already have a date."

Bucky rejected her? Thank goodness! You let out a relieving sigh.

You heard the girl walking out of the store. You turned around to look at Bucky. He was too busy looking at you. You squinted your eyes at him and turned to the counter to jump, seeing a customer in front of you.

"Oh," You adjusted yourself, "Do you need help with anything?"

"Miss, that guy, could you get me a date with him?"

Son of a biscuits!

"Heh, sorry. He's taken."

You lied again but hey, you have to protect what’s yours. You don’t know if this girl could possibly hurt him or keep him away from you.

"Is it serious?"

The girl unashamedly asked, she doesn’t know how to take a hint. You sighed "Miss, don’t you think it’s a bit weird to be asking me this?"

"No." A simple answer but it annoyed the hell out of you.

"Look-" you started, but someone interrupted, placing their arm around your neck and resting their chin on your head.

"I am in a committed relationship," Bucky replied with an insincere smile to the girl. The girl only pouted, leaving the store. An amusement snicker escaped your lips, and you felt him releasing you and backing away.

You were at the grocery store with Bucky. He was getting his favorites while I got mine. While you were picking up strawberries, Bucky put a bag of plums in the car.

"Plums, again?" You looked up at Bucky, seeing that emotionless stare at you. "I should put that on my list of things to get for you when I need to go to the grocery store alone."

Before you knew it, you were fast asleep with Bucky on the bed. You couldn't help but dream of that time with Bucky at the drive-in theater in the 40s because you were feeling jealous that girls were asking him out.

"Come on. Bucky!" You hurried him. You didn't want to be late to the very first-ever drive-in theaters.

Thankfully, he made it in time. Only the previews were starting. You waited outside with a blanket that Bucky wrapped around your shoulders.

Bucky was adding the cables of the drive-in speakers into the car system. Bucky laid out blankets on the seats, adding pillows, making a nice and cozy space just for you.

It was nice, but you found it quite weird; Bucky abruptly asked to see a movie with you. It wasn't all that weird, but he stated the date had to be today. You suspiciously hummed.

You aren’t exactly dating him, but you did want to be more than just friends. You just didn't have the guts to ask him. You wish you were an extrovert like Bucky, but you just had to be an introvert.

"You can get yourself comfortable. I'll go get some snacks."

You nodded, asking for caramel popcorn. As you settled yourself in the car in the passenger seat, you thought again. Maybe this could be when he finally asks you to be his girlfriend. No. Maybe it is something between friends. Yeah. We are friends.

You think you started liking Bucky after that kiss at church. Something about him was just so endearing. As this went through your head, you were fidgeting with your fingers. Not noticing Bucky already inside the car. He saw the way you were playing with your fingers, looking gloomy and nervous.

"Is something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh. No."

We were in the middle of watching the movie. It was a romcom, something you absolutely enjoyed. It got to a very intimate scene; you couldn't avoid the tension in the air, and you were sure Bucky was feeling it too. He was certainly bothered.

You tapped on his shoulders, gaining his attention to you, "Do you not like the movie?"

Bucky stared at you dumbfounded but then smiled, "Can I be honest?" Bucky asked, and you immediately nodded, "It's pretty repetitive."

It was repetitive. You couldn't lie. Some scenes were not necessary. Even though the intimate scenes were dreary, they didn't feel genuine. You slumped into your seat, watching the movie, hearing Bucky's teasingly chuckle.

By now, the movie was already over. Cars were driving away from the drive-in theater while you two stayed behind. You twiddled with your fingers, trying to ignore how hot you were getting.

You breathed out before moving out of your seat and climbing on top of Bucky, sitting directly on his lap. "Don't... keep me waiting, Bucky."

You figured it out while watching the movie. Taking you out on a drive-in date with pillows and blankets? It was like an invitation for something more.

Bucky smirked, wrapping your legs around his waist, "You dirty girl." You giggled before Bucky pulled you in for a soft and sweet kiss that sent butterflies fluttering through your stomach.

You don't know why, but you hated the sound of kissing, but for him, you'd be able to withstand the irritation.

Bucky had his hands all over you, your back, hair, cheeks. "Hey..." You broke the kiss, leaving a link of saliva between your lips, "Don't tell me." You shakily breathed out, "You’re serious, doing this in your car?"

Bucky blushingly caressed your cheeks, making you nuzzle into his gentle hands, "Why? Do you want to do this somewhere more comfortable?" He couldn't help but smirk at your dignity at having your first time in a bed rather than in a car.

You mumbled, "Yes," you wrapped your arms around Bucky's neck, pulling him in for another kiss. That infectious laugh that escaped his lips made you blush.

Who would have thought you would wake up in an empty bed alone in a motel? You couldn't help but cry out, feeling betrayed, especially with that letter he left you.

My Dear, Please, forgive me for leaving you like this. I have to leave for the army. I didn't have the guts to tell you I was leaving you. And for that, I hope when I come back, you'll give me a hell of a time with your scolding. With love, Your Bucky.

[babylacedream]

please dont ask why theres blood on my hands

i always find myself back to you જ part 9 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty, separation anxiety, talks of suicide, depression, mental illness, death, ableism

summary: you told something serious to bucky.

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called whisker, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

ps im not fully knowledgeable about buckys timeline so the years might not add up to the mcu's timeline.

this hit too close to home <3 i honestly dont even know what i just wrote haha wish you luck!

Why'd I keep trying to go overboard? I tried to do this while there's police at my door Please don't ask why there's blood on my hands I know he saw them, now he won't ask me to dance I love watching you smile, the way that you feel I just need a passport But that's how we live in the morning Well, he said "come watch the sunrise" It's all worth it, just to see the look in your eyes When they've gone bright Ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah And im alone all the time, i can't admit that i like you You want to leave me, so bad Ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah I can't do this so well, so now I won't let you go

While you were fast asleep, the Winter Solider knew they were here, like the rats, they were lurking around in your apartment.

It was a nightly routine, taking care of these rats.

The Winter Solider gazed at your sleeping figure, not being able to take his blue eyes off your peaceful state. He caressed your cheek, a silent promise that he would always and forever protect you.

The Winter Solider went out of your room to investigate. The Winter Solider looked in your kitchen. A rat placed a HYDRA device in your ventilation. A device he knew all too well.

Смерть Устройство

A lethal smoke that would slowly kill you, making you have the worst dreams of all, while it killed you from the inside and out.

The Winter Solider was tall enough to reach the vent above your kitchen; it was no difficult task for him to easily rip open the vent.

With the device on the Winter Solider's titanium hand, he crushed it beneath his hold.

But why would the Winter Solider let them in? Maybe the Winter Solider wanted to play a bit with the rat, making it think it had a chance to leave unscathed.

The Winter Solider looked towards the kitchen window to see the rat hiding out like a coward behind the bushes you usually tended to.

It was ruining your bushes.

The Winter Solider had no use for a gun; right now, he just wanted the little rat to suffer with his deathly strength.

Let's just say the Winter Solider had squeezed the rat like you usually squeeze those limes you use to make your favorite guacamole.

The Winter Solider never wants you to see him like this. That killing instinct he felt for these rats, he would feel it only for you.

The Winter Solider disposed of the disfigured body, making sure it never reached your sight.

The Winter Solider cleaned himself from the blood in the shower. He knows how sensitive you are to these things.

You would be scared. Terrified of him. You would even run away from him.

The Winter Solider climbed in bed with you, pulling you close to his arms as you slept, and buried himself into your chest.

It was five in the afternoon, and you were in the kitchen making some hot dogs for Bucky and yourself. You were very specific about how you liked your hot dogs.

You placed the sausages in a bowl with water and sprinkled seasoning on the sausages. You hated when sausages were grilled. You put the bowl in the microwave, letting it heat.

You went to your counter to grab the hot dog buns, and you picked out a plate for you and Bucky, placing two hot dog buns on each plate. The microwave beeped, you took out the hot bowl and placed the sausages in each bun.

You opened your refrigerator and took out your ketchup and mayo because you forgot to buy yellow mustard. After finishing decorating your hot dogs the way you like.

You placed both plates on the dinette table. Bucky was eating the hot dog. It looked like he enjoyed them. So, you were staring at him to get any reaction from him.

"Is it good?"

Bucky licked his lips clean of ketchup and nodded, chewing the food. "It reminds me of when you made me this on that school field trip."

You smiled and ate your hot dog. You were glad he liked them because you liked them too.

You were doodling on your writing table in your bedroom when you heard a noise outside your door. You placed your pencil on the table and walked out.

Bucky was replacing the old vent with a new one.

"Woah, what happened?"

"A rat."

You were in the living room, pondering when your home phone rang. You answered. It was your mother...

You wouldn't say you have the greatest relationship with your mother. She was very unfriendly towards you. Finding out she had such a strange, depressing daughter was not in her plans.

When you were just a baby, you were quiet, not speaking until you were six years old. You were named the sad girl in Elementary school because one of your classmates heard you mumble the words, "I wish I was dead."

What's worse is that you tried confiding in her about your problems with your past memories, but she brushed you off like usual. What did you expect?

"What is it, mother?"

"Ah, darling. I found a date for you. He's in his mid-thirties, a great man, and has lots of money."

"Mother, I've already told you this. I don't plan on dating."

A sigh through the phone made you roll your eyes. "Do you want to die alone? Is that it? Are you trying to make your mother depressed like you?"

You exhaled, rubbing your temples. "Mother, please. I—"

"I told you that those visions you had when you were sixteen about that man are just something that came from your father. He was just as crazy as you."

"...Goodbye, Mother." You slammed the phone, hanging it up. You just intensely stare at the phone when a hand on your shoulder makes you jump.

"Oh, Bucky!" You turned around, "Sorry, uh... Is something wrong?" You looked up at his eyes; they seemed quite sad. Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist, cuddling you while giving you gentle rubs on your back.

You chuckled, looking down on the ground. You should tell him, right? He deserves to know, right? Could he help you? But what if he thinks like they all did?

"I... wanted to tell you something. I just sort of kept it hidden. So, I wouldn't do anything stupid. But, uh... after finding out, you were presumed killed in action. I... took my own life."

You were so fixated on Bucky that you ended your life because you couldn't handle being apart from him.

"I just couldn't handle the ache in my heart. I felt so miserable and lonely."

As you vented your feelings, Bucky kissed your forehead while consoling you, rocking you gently. Something Bucky did to you all the time when you were sad.

"I'm so sorry, Bucky." You wept. Bucky gently let you go and cubbed your face, wiping your tears. "Hey, look at me." He said so soothingly. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"I should be asking you for forgiveness for leaving you like this."

You didn't care. All you wanted was him. You never wanted him to leave you again like that. You wanted to forget all those memories of being away from him for so long. That fear you felt when you received the news of his passing.

"You can't scare me like that."

Bucky pulled you in for a hug again, never letting you go, almost like he was scared to lose you. As you melted into his embrace, he lifted his titanium hand onto the back of your head and whispered into your ear.

In his eyes, a chilly storm was brewing as determination consumed him. Bucky won't let you risk hurting yourself. He would have to take things away from you.

Bucky doesn't want to let you go. Ever again. Bucky nuzzled into your neck, breathing in your scent.

"Never."

[babylacedream]

to get to know the boy you dont know anymore

i always find myself back to you જ part 8 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty, separation anxiety

summary: now, you know that bucky remembers you and knows youre her. he looks at you differently now that your aware. you wanted to take bucky out for lunch.

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called danger, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

creds to the lord of the rings for bucky's staring thingy<3

I know it's late But I was wondering if you'd try me on a date And I know that no one's talked to you this way And you're taking that everyday that it might come But if you had a choice to leave then— I know it's hard To allow someone's entry to your opened door To get to know the boy you don't know anymore But I know that you're tired so you don't say How you're feeling alright

You had work today, so as usual, Bucky followed you. It was a busy day for you; there were more customers, and it was mostly girls.

Someone called you over to assist them. You went out of the counter and went to see what they needed help with.

The customer cautiously looks behind you. "That fellow's done nothing but stare at you," they whispered. "Do you need help?" The customer's concern was not strange since you also felt that heavy gaze on your back.

You giggled, "I'm sorry, he's..." You looked over your shoulder and whispered into the customer's ear. "My boyfriend."

You lied. If your boss found out that the guy he gave an okay to hang out in the store while you worked was just stalkingly looking at you. You didn't want to imagine his expression. So, you told a teeny tiny lie to save yourself.

The customer instantly understood, "Youngsters these days."

You awkwardly laughed and went back to the counter. When the customer got what they needed and left. You went to Bucky; he was standing in one of the sections of the movie.

"That staring thingy you do. Are you okay?" You were concerned, so you had to ask. Bucky just loomed over you; most would be intimidated, but not you. You tilted your head, staring back at him, clearly affected by his silence.

Bucky didn't say anything, so you hesitantly gave him stroking rubs on his hands. "If you need to talk, I'll be here." You left him for his eyes to follow you as you went to the back room for a phone call.

Bucky would never want to concern you with his demons, especially since you've suffered enough.

You were in the tiny office, on the phone with your boss.

"It seems your friend you've been bringing has been attracting a lot of sales."

"Oh, that's why there are so many female customers." You irritably laughed.

"Hey, let me know if he wants a job here."

"I will. Bye, thanks."

You turned around to see Bucky behind you, making you jump. "Bucky...! At least make a sound if you're behind me."

"Who were you talking to?" For others, it may have sounded like he was asking, but really, he was demanding who you were talking to.

Bucky was completely trapping your exit. You chuckled, "My boss." You brushed past him, making him follow right behind you.

"Bucky, I told you before, you shouldn't try to scare me. You'll just chase me away."

Before you could even go out back to the counter, he pulled you back in, plastering your back against his chest once again. You giggled, feeling his hands on your stomach, his jaw resting softly on your shoulder.

"You called me your boyfriend earlier." He nuzzled himself into your neck. "Is this true?"

You scoff as you feel his breath against your neck. "It was a half-truth. I was trying to get out of an awkward situation with a certain man peeking and staring at me like a stalker would."

Bucky chuckled before letting go of you. You turned around to look at him. "I'm starting to think you like this position too much, Bucky." You playfully expressed.

"Perhaps I do."

You got to leave work at eight at night, so you invited Bucky to dinner at your favorite diner. It looked almost like the diner you and Bucky went to; the only difference was the neon and retro. Pretty famous in the 90s.

"Thank you." The waitress took your order, leaving you alone with Bucky. You were expecting a delicious, delightful milkshake that you always enjoyed.

"I never got to ask you this, but how have you been these years?"

Another odd question, not really; you were just awkward. You shifted in your chair. "How I've been?" You pondered, "Well, other than me being separated from you. I think I've been fine."

"I have a stable job, a nice apartment, food, health... actually, scratch that." You let out a snort, "I'm working on my mental health. It's in the works."

Bucky laughed. You were the same silly girl he knew all those years ago.

You laughed with him. When the moment felt too soon to ask, you cowardly avoided your gaze. You weren't sure if you should ask him too, but you wanted to. "H-how are you feeling?" You timidly asked.

He could see the way your body moved, shifting in your chair, avoiding his eyes, and fidgeting with your fingers.

"I'm fine because I know you're fine."

That's not what you asked for, but you knew better not to push him about it.

The waitress brought your order, but your milkshake was strawberry-flavored. You were about to speak, but Bucky spoke first.

"She asked for a vanilla milkshake with extra whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles, and one cherry on top."

The waitress apologized; you guessed the waitress was too busy looking at Bucky when she was taking your order.

But enough of that, you were astonished that he yet again remembered such details of you. "You remember how I like my milkshakes..."

"How could I forget, dollface? I always got it for you."

Dollface. You almost forgot he always called you that. It made you feel sort of nostalgic.

After eating and making it home with Bucky. You were so out of it of how many girls were in the store staring at Bucky. You weren't even sure Bucky even noticed. Or he didn't care to notice.

It reminds you of the time when you went to school with Bucky; you made sure to tell every female and male student that you were his girlfriend.

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes, have a problem with that?" You smiled fakely.

It's even funnier that Bucky knew you did that. But what's funnier is that he made sure to tell every male and female student in college that you were taken.

"By who?"

"By me." Bucky leaned in on the college student's ear and whispered threateningly, "I suggest not getting close to her."

You were fresh out of the shower with your pink nightgown and climbed over Bucky to get in your side of the bed.

"Goodnight."

"Night."

[babylacedream]

cause youre my-y-y

i always find myself back to you જ part 7 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty, separation anxiety

summary: you came down with a cold and bucky is taking care of you. you dream of your first kiss with bucky.

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called cuz you're my*, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

sorry for edging you <3 ur giving lads mc vibes ♡

I want You just the way you are The lengths that I have gone To give you everything you want 'Cause you're my-y-y Reason I need to breathe The one I need to keep So I can keep you dear and close to me 'Cause you're my-y-y

That moment under the umbrella, the rain pouring, that raw outburst of yours, was neither your hallucination nor a dream. It was real. Very real.

But you felt sick. You almost forgot that getting sick in this body is ruthless to you.

You pressed your hands against his chest, trying to ground yourself, "I don't feel good." You stumbled before Bucky steadied you.

You needed to say something to him before you fainted, "You can't leave me again..." The anguish in your voice spoke volumes to him.

You clenched your eyes shut, shaking your head, trying to lessen the throbbing pain in your head. You whimpered, peering up at him. "I... won't forgive you if you leave me again."

Then, you collapsed in his arms.

You were fast asleep, dreaming of that time when you were nineteen. Fresh out of high school with Bucky. You recently saw a couple kissing in a corner.

It sparked unwanted feelings and thoughts. Or just feelings and thoughts you hid.

At this point, you were going to die as a chaste woman. Other girls your age already had children and a husband. You were nineteen and still no first kiss, nothing.

"Kiss me." You were straightforward with Bucky. You had dragged him behind the church you attended with your families.

Bucky coughed, looking shocked at those words that came out of your mouth. "Where did this come from?"

"Please," you beseech him as you inch yourself close to him.

"No." A quick response as he looked away from you.

"Why?" You followed his gaze.

"Because you don’t know what you're asking for."

You backed a bit, flustered that he wasn't taking this seriously. "I do."

"You do?" He was messing with you.

You nodded. "Yes, I’d rather not die without getting my first kiss." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"James!" You knew he hated being called that, especially from you, "Come on, please!" You whined, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards you.

Bucky knows he shouldn't spoil you, but he can't help but give in to your request, especially when you're begging so.

After all, this would be his first kiss, too. And the lengths he's gone to keep himself under control were starting to crumble.

You were his need to breathe; his very existence was embedded in you. He couldn't resist you any longer.

Bucky looked at you, seeing you biting your lips and the way your fidgety fingers were playing with his fingers with such troubling resolve. Bucky sighed, seeing how determined you are.

"Don't regret this later."

That memory had faded away before you got the chance to feel his lips against yours once again.

As your eyes fluttered open, your throat hurt, your nose stuffed, you had a cold. You were in bed with a drenched towel on your forehead.

You felt someone's hand wrapped around yours. You slowly turned your head to see the same Bucky you saw in your dream.

"Bucky?!"

You abruptly sat up, the towel falling off your forehead onto your lap, numb to the pain in your head from getting up so quickly.

It looked like your Bucky, but it would soon morph into The Winter Soldier. As you perceived you were hallucinating again, the painful throb in your head revealed itself. You were almost about to cry until he gently laid you back into the bed, letting you sleep yet again.

"You asked me to never leave you, so," he tightened his hand around yours. "I never left."

You dreamt yet again of Bucky, one where you were sick, and your parents asked Bucky if he could take care of you while they were on vacation.

"Ew, I don't want to drink that crap!" Bucky was the enemy now, with the most disgusting and most vile medicine in his hand. He held it to your lips, forcing you to take it.

"Sorry, doll, but I'm in charge here."

You coughed while Bucky rubbed your back as you cringed from the taste in your mouth.

"See? Wasn't all that bad."

"Easy for you to say." You pouted at how calm and collected he looked, almost like that kiss you shared with him wasn't all that big of a deal.

"Be honest, did you already kiss someone before?"

"No, doll. You were my first, as was yours." His attention was on tucking you in with your comfy blankets.

You eyed him suspiciously, "I find that hard to believe, that kiss felt..."

"Felt what?" He smirked, looking at you now.

"It felt skilled, too skilled."

"Maybe I'm a natural," he paused. "Don't believe me? We can try again." Bucky edged close to you, determined to convince you.

"Wait," you stopped him with those soft hands of yours, "I'm sick, remember?"

"I don't mind."

The dream ended and you woke up feeling slightly better. Bucky had his eyes closed, but you know better that he was not sleeping.

You sat up on the bed, studying him before speaking. "Where were you?" You watched as he opened his eyes slowly and adjusted his gaze onto you.

"Taking care of some vermins," Bucky spoke coldly.

"Vermins?" You pondered, "HYDRA?" He nodded.

"Uh, why would you do that?"

Isn’t it rule number one to not go back to HYDRA, so they won’t control you? Wait, is he being controlled right now? No, if he was, he should’ve killed you that night.

"They touched you."

Touched you, when? Oh, it must have been when you were in the bathroom. But, you didn’t care about that. You were so confused. How was he able to resist?

"Um, could you tell me exactly what you did to them?"

Bucky vividly and graphically explained what he did to them. Every single detail. He didn't leave anything out. To the T.

They touched you so he gave them times worse than that bump you felt on your shoulder. So much worse.

That's why he left you, to rid of those bastards who were assigned to take glances at you.

Bucky explained to you that because he's been with you this whole time, his trigger words, and the brainwashing has lessened. But his tendencies as The Winter Soldier never left.

"Do you remember anything from your past?"

"You."

You were about to deny it, but it's no use. You already confirmed it that night, and now, the cat is out of the bag.

Though, it's not like he needed that confirmation.

"So, what happens now?"

Bucky explained that he disposed of most of them, but a few that were still in pursuit of him and you. In truth, he didn't want to be apart from you this long. "I stay by your side until I know you're safe—"

You interrupted him, "And then what, you'll leave again?" You furrowed your brows, reaching out and pulling him close, holding onto his jacket, "I told you that night that you can't leave me now that you're back in my life."

Bucky chuckled, "You didn't let me finish." He paused, with his metal hand grabbing your hand that was holding onto his jacket for dear life, and placed a gentle kiss on your palm.

"After I know harm is out of your way. Then, I can keep you dear and close to me."

[babylacedream]

im waiting for the umbrella man

i always find myself back to you જ part 6 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty, separation anxiety

summary: bucky left you. now youre left with flashbacks of him from the past. was he even there with you?

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called umbrella man, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

get your tissues ready? <3

Sometimes it shines And sometimes it rains Sometimes you break my heart I'd like to know if there's a chance That you feel the same Or if we should stay apart It's cause I'm lonely It's only 'bout 5 in the morning But it's getting me so (getting me so) I'm tired and dying To know if you're crying The same way as me so I'm waiting for the umbrella man The only one that I call my friend You took my heart And then you broke it You took it fast But broke it slowly I take a look outside my window And I start to notice drizzle on my hair (Take a look at me, I'm so wet) The rain is falling harder than I did I can't forget

Your sergeant left you.

You don't know where exactly. Could HYDRA have taken him? You were uneasy every second that passed. You didn't feel good.

After a few days, it had to be your head's messed up way of helping you cope with Bucky's death. It possibly knew you were reaching your limit of trying to pretend you were fine.

But you're not fine.

You were forced to carry on almost as if this were a reminder of what happened all those years ago, all those suffering years, just to die and then to realize that you’ve been reborn with no one you knew.

Now, your night terrors were vivid; you remembered every single one. They were all about Bucky leaving you. You were even scared to sleep because of those horrible nightmares.

Your doctor prescribed pills to help with the ache in your heart. You never wanted to take anything, even in your past life; you didn't like the side effects.

But you had to, or else you might just meet Jesus.

After a week of swallowing the pills, you finally fell asleep without any night terrors. You dreamt when you were thirteen, a happy time when you both were young and didn't know of the troubles life would bring to you.

"Bucky!" You ran to him, not letting him escape from your affection and hugs. He's been away from school, helping his mother with his four siblings.

"Woah, dollface. Careful." He hugged you back, tightening his hold around you. "Miss me that much?"

You unraveled your hold around his neck, looking into his blue eyes. "How could I not? You're my favorite person!" Bucky lightly chuckled at your boldness.

"Geez, you're too adorable." He began ruffling up your hair, ruining your perfect hairdo.

"Bucky!" You backed away from him, "I worked hard on my hair today, you two-faced backstabber!"

Bucky scoffed, "Really? It looks nice on ya."

You grunted, "Well, now it's ruined because of you." You were pouting, trying to fix the remaining strain pieces of hair sticking out.

Bucky grabbed your determined hands, letting it gently fall down your side. "I can fix it for you."

Right, Bucky has a little sister. Rebecca Barnes was only two years old. Bucky was always invested in his little sister's life. Usually, brothers couldn't give two thoughts to them. But you're glad; he seemed to really care for her.

Bucky turned you around and gently and slowly took out your ponytail, letting your hair fall down on your back. The way his hands brushed against your neck gave you shivers down your spine.

Bucky stopped when he felt you jump. "What's wrong? Did I pull your hair?"

"Uh, no." You stuttered, "Just keep going."

Bucky combed your hair almost too gently; he knew he had to be gentle with you.

"There." He took out your compact mirror you always kept in your handbag. "How do you like it?"

Bucky held out the mirror in front of you. "It's pretty." You looked a bit to the side to see his expression from behind you in the mirror; he was smiling... at you with a loving gaze.

Then, he felt your gaze on him, so he looked at you through the mirror, making you avoid the mirror in his hand.

"Ahem, thanks." You grabbed your stuff, had your books on hand, and the most gorgeous boy in school had just done your hair.

"I'll see you at lunch?"

"Sure, doll."

You stirred up awake with your tear-stained cheeks. You thought you felt a hand pressed against your waist, but it was just in your head. Yet, another way for your brain to cope.

Certainly, it wasn't as bad as last week. These pills were really helping you.

Your daily routine consisted of sleeping, eating, showering, working, eating, showering, and sleeping in that particular order.

You were on your way home as you kicked little rocks with your shoe, almost like an underlining comfort, making sure they weren't pushed too far.

You didn't even notice that it had been raining, your hair drenched, and your wet work clothes made you cringe. You lowered your head, being fully aware of the drenched wetness.

You felt a light touch on your shoe, a rock, and suddenly the rain stopped falling on you. Combat boots move into your line of vision, making your breath hitch.

You looked up to see The Winter Soldier, the one you encountered all those nights ago. He held an umbrella above your head. He had the smeared black eyeshadow around his eyes. His tactile outfit showed his metal arm.

You wanted to speak, but you felt scared, scared to say what you felt when he left you. At this point, you didn't care if this was a hallucination.

You inched close to him. You lowered your head and placed your forehead on his chest, covering your face as you felt his heartbeat. "Why...?" You murmured out. You lifted your hands from your side and weakly hit him on his chest. "...Did you leave me?" Another hit against his chest.

"Why?!"

This time, you pushed him. You were livid, but you were sad and frustrated, and you felt everything as you tried to keep in your sobs. "Why do you always do this to me?!" You were frantic and tired, but The Winter Soldier let you take your frustration out on him.

"Do you want me to die again?!" You sobbed.

He carefully lifted your chin to look at him. You were sure you looked horrible. Your hair was wet, you gained a couple of pounds, and your complexion looked worse.

You had bags under your eyes, and that was the first thing he noticed as he brushed his finger on your tear-stained eyes, wiping your tears away.

"Stop that." The Winter Soldier spoke with that monotone and emotionless tone in his voice.

A scornful laugh escaped your lips. "It's the truth. She died of anguish!" You wept out, "Thinking you were gone, but fate has a way of being cruel to people like us." You brushed his hand off your face.

You were silently crying after expressing yourself to him. Your puffy eyelids, trembling lips, and tears that never seemed to stop falling.

"Lyubimaya." He spoke in Russian, a word you were not familiar with at all, but you didn't know why it felt endearing for him to call you with that sweet voice of his again.

Bucky pulled you in his chest, letting you cry in his arms.

[babylacedream]

theres pain in your eyes cause youve gone through a lot

i always find myself back to you જ part 5 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty

summary: you found out what really happened to bucky but can you really accept him for who he is now?

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called close to you, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

oh, reader, you are so cooked <3 goodluck!

You were tossing and turning from a nightmare; you awoke; you had forgotten what it was about. You opened the door quietly. You went to your front door, trying to find the tote bag you left on the floor.

It was on the hanger; Bucky must have hung it up there. You grabbed it and went into your room. You scurried through the files. For every experiment that was conducted there, Bucky was in the middle of it all.

Bucky is an assassin.

It makes sense; the blood you found on his hand that night was his target's blood. You shivered at the thought of what he had been mindlessly forced to do.

You bit your nail out of reassurance, and once you've looked through every bit of information about HYDRA, it was no wonder why he acts like this. As if he's in this trance-like state.

Duh, stupid.

You groaned, annoyed and guilty that you yelled at him like this was his fault. Nothing was his fault. You looked at your clock; it was nine.

You organized the files, placing them again in the tote bag. You got off your bed and opened your bedroom door. You walked out and took a peek at Bucky on your living room couch. "Do you ever sleep?"

He looked up at you and didn't say anything before going back into that trance. Since he's been here, he's been taking showers; you could tell since he smelled good. But those clothes he's been wearing must be uncomfortable to wear all the time.

"Do you need clothes? I can get you some tomorrow when I go to work." No response to that, but you'll still get him necessities tomorrow.

You couldn't help but feel for him; this was your childhood friend, and the void in his blue eyes made you feel it all the more intense.

You are not sure if this is a good suggestion, but it is worth the shot. "Do you want to sleep in my bed?" Bucky looked up at you again, and this time responded and nodded.

"Come." You say as you walk out of the living room and into your bedroom. "Um, which side do you want?" Nothing, again, from him. You realize he only responds when it sometimes has something to do with you; other than that, he stays quiet.

You had a queen-sized bed, so it should fit both of you. You left the light on for Bucky. You remembered that he kept the living room lights on, and you took the right side of the bed against the wall, getting comfortable on your side. He was still standing there. You got out of bed and grabbed his hand before you pulled him in.

"Oh, your shoes." You gestured so he could take them off. Bucky took them off while still looking at you with that emotionless stare, including his clothes, and climbed in with you in bed.

You didn't want to look; it's disrespectful to do that, in your mind, so you closed your eyes. Shuffling with the blankets, you found your comfortable position. You were lying on your side, facing the wall.

While you were getting comfortable, Bucky wouldn't take his eyes off you like you were the most precious thing to him in his whole existence. Strangely enough, he has never felt this tired before. Only with you.

You woke up, stretching your arms and legs to notice the bed empty. "Oh, familiar," you thought. You got out of bed. When Bucky came into your room with a towel on his waist, fresh out of the shower.

You didn't look last night because... You had your reasons. You were shocked; he looked different, more built? You looked up, trying to avert your gaze, when you saw him smirk. He walked past you and sat on the bed.

"Oh, right, clothes! I'll quickly go and shower and... get you clothes!" You avoided looking down and awkwardly laughed, walking out of your room and into the shower.

After a much-needed shower, you dressed in your work clothes; you thought it would be better to wear your work clothes so you wouldn't have to change again. "I'll be back."

You were in a men's clothing store. You looked through dozens already. You bought him shirts, pants, a hat, shoes, and even boxers.

How do you know his size? Well, you don't need to ask.

You even bought him a couple of things he needed while staying there, like body lotion, body wash, a toothbrush, deodorant, and shaving stuff, if he wanted to use it.

Eventually, you made it back to the apartment to see him still sitting on your bed with the towel. You twitched, wondering if he was doing this on purpose.

You went to the room and laid out the clothes and necessities on the bed. "Well, do you like it?" You smiled, looking at your accomplishment. You saw his hands grip the towel; he was about to take off his towel! "Wait, let me get out of the room first!" You ran out of the room, breathing heavily.

You waited outside. The door opened, and instantly, your eyes widened. The hat on his head looked good, and the jacket he had on with the layer of shirts on him. The jeans also looked nice.

He looks like a model! As expected from the dreamboat from the 1940s. You internally clapped in your head.

The clothes seemed to fit him well. "Is it comfortable?" He nodded.

"Oh, I almost forgot." You looked in your bag and took out gloves for him to hide his metal arm thingy. "Here." Bucky took them.

"Well, I shall go to work now. Stay here."

You told him that, but why is he following you yet again? Is he a stray cat or something?

"Bucky, you can't follow me to work. Okay? I need to work. Why don't you try, uh, try feeding some stray cats?" You spoke without really thinking.

But, he was an assassin. An asset to HYDRA. What would those HYDRA guys do if they found him out here? You didn't really care about yourself, but you were worried about Bucky. You couldn't let those bastards take him.

"On second thought, never mind, just come with me." You grabbed his gloved metal hand and led him to your workplace.

"You wait here. I'll be working. You just, uh, play with this." You gave him a Rubik's cube. He instantly started playing with it.

You worked calmly, still occasionally checking on Bucky in the lunch room. You placed a sandwich on his lap. "Eat. I'll eat with you." You sat across from his seat and munched on your sandwich.

You didn't notice how his blue eyes looked as he intently watched you lick your finger clean. You were quite clumsy with your food; that sauce was on your lips. Bucky leaned in towards you across from the table, lifted his finger, and wiped the sauce clean off your lips.

"Oh, thanks."

That gesture reminds you of that time you were at the diner with Bucky. The sauce had gotten on your lips. "Clumsy, girl," he chuckled before lifting his finger and wiping it off.

Does he know what he's doing to you? No. And that's the worst part of it all. You had a very gloomy expression on your face.

You cleared your throat. "Excuse me."

Your store didn't have a bathroom, so you were in the bathroom across from a nearby store. You were sitting on the toilet, crying your eyes out.

You wished that none of this happened. You wished you could have been in your past body with Bucky growing old with him.

You cleaned your face, trying to hide any teary-eyed sign. After cleaning yourself up, you came out of the bathroom when someone bumped into you.

"Pardon." The man excused himself before he took a quick glance at you. You smiled politely and carried on with yourself back to work.

You were working with packages, storing them in the storage room, when you felt a familiar chest pressed against your back, giving you a sense of déjà vu. Bucky smoothly slides his hands around your waist, wrapping around them.

"Who were you with just a moment ago?" The tone in his voice was laced with authority and power.

"Oh, someone bumped into me when I was heading out of the bathroom." You said calmly, looking over your shoulder. You giggled, grinning at his expression. "What, jealous?" Bucky loosed his hold around your waist.

"Relax." You turned around to face him, placing your hands on his chest. You tipped-toed to his ear and whispered, "Or you might scare me away."

You removed your hands from his chest and worked on the boxes. "Why the hell did I do that?" You mentally hit yourself for trying to be slick.

Bucky was irritated. How dare they come close to you? You thought he was jealous, but it was more than just that. He felt infatuated with you.

In fact, he smelled those wretched vermin scents on you, and it made him want to completely take you for himself, right here. Right now.

But he knew you'd fear him.

So, he decided the easiest thing to do was to completely obliterate those parasites to make sure you'd be safe.

Bucky didn't want to tell you, but because you kicked him in the face that night, his memories started coming back in little bits of pieces, especially with the help of the locket.

Even his trigger words aren’t working. It seems your presence has dulled their influence entirely, reducing the strength of his brainwashing.

And the early confrontation that night with his target, Howard. He called his name, "Sergeant Barnes." And since you called out his name shortly after that, "Bucky," he remembered only you.

Bucky, no, The Winter Soldier, wasn't going to let them take his memories of you again, especially since he's found you, his Lyubimaya.

Bucky immediately knew it was you when you yelled at him, "This is mine!" telling him the locket was yours. "It was surely yours, my love." He left it for you to hold and cherish, and he was glad you cherished it so.

Everything about you screams of his lover. Your scent, your laugh, the way you gazed into his eyes. You were her, whether you wanted to deny it or convince yourself you no longer wanted to be, to protect yourself.

But he knew he had to be patient with you. After all, you were patient all those years.

Now, more than ever, he knew that for him to stay peacefully with you. The Winter Soldier was determined to make sure that the whole place blew up in flames.

Bucky walked out of the store, but not before taking one last glance at you organizing the boxes.

"This time, I'll come back to you, my love."

[babylacedream]

youre a needy guy but i guess i kinda like that

i always find myself back to you જ part 4 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, brainwashed!bucky & obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty

summary: he wont leave your side... could he possibly sense that this is not your first life?

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress song called internet baby, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

guys, i know you cant easily access these files regarding the winter soldier but please hear me out.

Before you knew it, it was morning. The birds were chirping alongside your window, and the sunlight crashed in making you groan.

You opened the door, needing to use the bathroom, when you saw Bucky in your living room just sitting there motionlessly with the lights on.

You walked past the open living room door, too tired to deal with this. You got out milk and your chocolate powder. Your favorite cup, specifically for your chocolate milk.

You felt a broad chest plastered against your back, making you jump. "Hey, what are you doing?!" He wrapped his arms around your waist, breathing in your scent. "Why do you smell like her?"

You froze, taking a peek at his expression. His furrowed brows, that knowingly gaze in his eyes, that longing you hoped you'd get a second chance to see again.

You nudged him in his stomach making him back away from you. "You want some milk?" He just stared at you, almost like there wasn't a thought behind those eyes. Though he didn't respond you still served him some milk.

You gestured for him to sit on the dinette table. "Here, drink." You placed the glass of milk in front of him. "Don't worry, I didn't poison it." You joked before turning; he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving. He looked at you, yearning for you. "Are you her?"

"Who?" You asked, acting confused.

He reached out carefully and caressed your locket, opening it. "Her." You looked down at your locket, then at him. "No." You spoke almost downheartedly, "I'm not."

You don't want to go through that pain again. Of him possibility leaving you again. You had to protect yourself. It's been forty-eight years since his presumed passing. You just couldn't. You are twenty years old; you deserve better than this.

He let go of your wrist and locket before drinking your milk. Well, he certainly acts like the same old Bucky. Though he seems out of it, this was your Bucky.

But the question remained in your mind. What happened to him?

You quickly took a shower and changed into some casual clothes. You had to go to city hall and request some files. You took a glance at Bucky. He looked caught in a daze. He should be fine, right?

You wasted no time getting on the bus and making your way to the city hall of Arlington. You asked the lady for records on James Buchanan Barnes. He was a U.S. veteran; they had to have his records.

"Reason for requesting?" The lady asked, and I showed her my locket. "That man here is James Buchanan Barnes. He was an acquaintance to a... friend of my parents from New York City."

You left with his files. You sat down in a nearby cafe, looking through his files. "KIA." You hardly believe that now. You turn the page and try to find out where he was killed in action. Danube River, Europe.

You scurried up the files and placed them in your tote bag. Now, you found yourself in the library. It's hilarious; this may look like an ordinary library, but if you are close enough to the librarian. It can be many things.

"Hey, Mrs. Jones! I brought you your favorite. Apple pie and with extra whipped cream, just how you like it!"

"Oh, sweet!" She laughed, and you laughed with her. "What do you want?" You choked on your laugh, "Geez, well, since you asked." You placed your elbows on the counter and rested your chin on your palms. "Could you get me files on the Danube River?" I grinned, hoping to take my chance.

"Really? What's it this time?"

"I was hoping you would let it slide, Mrs. Jones." You gave her your puppy dog eyes.

"Mm, fine." She got up, leaving you alone in the empty library. You looked around at the books while she got the files.

"What are you doing here?" That monotone voice made you yelp, earning a few hushes. You turn around to see Bucky behind you. "W-what are you doing here?!"

"W-were you following me?" You whispered. He didn't say anything, just stared down at you. You were about to slam your palm hard against your forehead, but Bucky stopped you by catching your wrist.

"Don't hurt yourself," Bucky said, and let go of your wrist before sitting down on a sofa in the lounging area, almost like he was waiting for you to be done so he could leave with you.

You were greatly dumbfounded.

Your eyes were on Bucky, observing him before Mrs. Jones brought out what you needed. "Oh, you're a lifesaver!" You grabbed the files from her. "Thanks!" You placed the files in your tote bag. You said your goodbyes to Mrs. Jones and looked at Bucky in the lounging area, passing by him.

Once he knew you were finally leaving, he stood and followed right behind you.

"Is that your boyfriend, sweetie? Damn!" Mrs. Jones shouted, making all eyes on you, especially Bucky's. Your cheeks were red, turning to Mrs Jones. "No, he's not!"

You were walking really fast to your apartment, trying to get the word boyfriend out of your head. Obviously, Bucky kept up with you; why wouldn't he?

You turned around frustrated. "Why are you following?!" You didn't mean to yell, but you were starting to get anxious.

"I can't let you get hurt." He responded solemnly, making you sigh. "I'm not her, okay? I'm just a normal citizen girl living in Virginia. So, if you are doing this because you think I'm her, it's best you leave...."

...Before I start to crack.

Even though you told him harsh words, he still stood beside you. Never leaving you. You felt bad, but it had to be said for your protection.

You made it to your apartment, leaving the door open for Bucky to come in behind you. You dropped your tote bag on the floor, forgetting why you needed the files in your tote bag and went into your room. Falling onto your bed and hugging yourself as you wept.

[babylacedream]

the bond between us doesnt end

i always find myself back to you જ part 3 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, brainwashed!bucky & obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty

summary: you cant accept that bucky's still alive. he cant be. but the 40s song playing inside your apartment said it all for you. he is alive.

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress song called capable of love, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

You finally calmed down. You stood up and looked at the clock. One o'clock, you had to clock out, but first, you had to move the boxes to the back.

After doing that, you clocked out and hesitated about whether you should unlock the door.

"Maybe I was hallucinating." You held onto the tiniest bit of sanity you had as you clenched your hand around your locket. There's no possible way Bucky's alive. If he was, he would have come back to you, right? "Yeah, that must be it." You convinced yourself that it was all in your head.

You made it to a bus safely, surprisingly still keeping an eye on your back. You were thinking so much that you were already in front of your apartment door.

The strangest thing was that when you opened the door, you heard a familiar melody inside.

A popular song in the 1940s, "I’ve Got You Under My Skin," by Frank Sinatra. It was Bucky's favorite song to play at the diner. He would always have a penny for the jukebox for it. I even told him the lyrics were nuts.

Bucky shrugged it off, saying, "What can I say, doll? I guess I am nuts." He would tap his shoe to the beat on the black and white checkboard floor tile.

Bucky stood from his seat, shimmying before offering his hand to dance with you. "Really, Bucky? You're not a child." You raised your brows in disbelief.

"Come on, dollface. Don't keep me waiting."

Your laughters filled your head as they faded away to access the problem at hand, stopping the pouring of memories. You cautiously walked into your apartment, dropping your bag onto the floor and grabbing the bat you kept beside the door.

“I've got you under my skin.”

As the lyrics played, your hold around the bat tightened ever so tightly as you walked through your tiny hallway toward the closed living room where you kept the record player.

“I've got you deep in the heart of me.”

As your heart beat loudly in your chest, you lifted the bat above your head, ready to strike when you opened the door and peeked into your living room.

“So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me.”

I saw the record player spinning the vinyl; I kept it hidden in my shelf of records, just when I wanted to think of Bucky.

However, no sign of anyone. 'Maybe I forgot I left it in there, and it somehow played.'

“I’ve got you under my skin.”

I lowered my bat and walked towards the little accent table where the record player was.

“I tried so not to give in.”

I placed my bat against the accent table and moved aside the tonearm from playing the music. I closed the door to the living room and placed the bat beside the front door.

I grabbed my bag and went to the kitchen. I set down my bag on the counter and grabbed a glass cup. I needed to turn the lights on before getting water, but when I turned around to go to the switch.

Someone was sitting in my seat against the wall at my dinette table with a gun on top of it.

"Scream, and your apartment goes in flames." A monotone and emotionless voice spoke, "With you in it," he adds.

You gulped. It was the guy from earlier, the one who looked like Bucky.

"Sit down." He commands, gesturing to the seat across from his seat. You warily pulled the chair out and sat down on it. Your fingers fidgeting, your excessive blinking, and even your breathing were uneasy.

"Where did you get that locket?"

The question was quite odd; it made you flabbergasted. Is this even Bucky? Does he remember? And how does he look the same when you last saw him in 1943?

"Someone gave it to me."

"Lie to me again, and I'll put a bullet through your skull." He said with that same cold voice.

You shifted into your seat, feeling uncomfortable that he was using Bucky's voice for such harmful words. It was the truth, for the most part. But, you had to remember, you're in a different body.

"I bought it in an antique shop."

He stayed quiet until he asked another question, "And that girl in that locket, where is she?"

You tried hiding your uncomfortable laugh, not liking where this was going. "I don't know, maybe thirty feet under."

He reached to grab your locket, making you pull back in your chair, scraping against the floor. "This is mine!" You clenched around the locket, "Mine!" You snapped, got up from your seat, and left for your room, slamming the door shut.

[babylacedream]

until they find me here, so wish me luck

i always find myself back to you જ part 2 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x f! reincarnated autistic reader

warning: struggling with bucky's death, grief, yandere themes, anxiety, brainwashed!bucky & obsessed!bucky, violence, angsty

summary: it's 1991. after being reincarnated with your past memories from your life as bucky's childhood friend. it felt like losing him all over again. you were currently working in a tiny store, usually working night shifts. you went out to take out the trash when you stumbled upon a familiar yet beautiful man.

notes: inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called phelia, I recommend listening.

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

After your pinky swear with Bucky. You hoped he would surely come back. Right? Wrong. All you received was a locket that Bucky wanted to give you after coming back to you. A beautiful one at that.

You glided your fingers around the locket, and you opened it. A picture of you and Bucky from your graduation stirred your unresolved emotions about his death. He promised he would come back to you. He broke your promise.

Shortly after receiving the devasting news, you passed away at just twenty-six years old. You guessed from heartbreak; the news was too much for you.

Now, it's 1991. You were reborn in 1971 in Charlotte, North Carolina. It's even stranger; you have the memories of your past life. You live in Arlington, Virginia, in your small but comfortable apartment. You are twenty years old, once again.

You looked entirely different in your past life, which is a given. You'd been carrying yourself with your graceful appearance in the 40s, and now, you were gifted a gentle appearance from your new parents that fit with its era.

Currently, you are working in a small retail store that sells movies. Fluorescent lights, the smell of dusty old carpet, popcorn, and the occasional laughter of customers or kids happily picking out a VHS tape to watch at their home.

A huge contrast to the world you were used to in the 1940s, the war years. You were used to jukeboxes, typewriters, and trending clothes at the time.

Kids these days use radios or cassette tapes and keyboards with monitors, and the clothes are certainly different.

You were a proud employee of this small store; being the employee of the month was encouraging, and you took pride in your work duties, you were sufficient for your manager, and you worked alone on night shifts.

This era started growing on you; women could work without being discriminated against, and you got the same pay rate as men. It's heaven on earth.

You were on your "lunch break," and by that, you meant just standing in front of the register eating a small snack. You finished eating your pomegranate, wiping your fingers with a napkin.

You looked around the now-empty store. The feeling made you a bit sad, thinking of Bucky. You lifted your hand onto the necklace, holding on the locket on your neck, caressing your fingers against it. The one Bucky left for you.

How were you able to get this locket? Funny story. You found it being sold in an antique shop; you guessed your landlord in the 40s decided to donate it since no one else could claim it. Not really funny, but you thought it felt a bit like fate to find it all the way in Virginia of all places.

You loved making yourself busy to distract you from any more depressing thoughts. So, you decided to organize the many VHS tapes in each section, making sure all items were neatly placed.

Now, you went to the candy section, pulling the items, making sure there was no expired candy. A few you had to throw out, but you had extra boxes of candy in the back to refill them.

It was midnight already. It was time to take out the trash. You went to each trash bin around the store, placing all the bags in one large trash bag.

You opened the back door, placing a wooden stick your manager gave you to hold the door open. You lifted the trash bag and walked out to the dumpster.

You opened the dumpster enclosure gates and threw the trash bag into the dumpster. You were about to lock the gate for the night when you heard a thud coming from behind the dumpster.

Could it be a cat? Oh, you loved cats! You decided to help it out of the dumpster enclosure; it's too stinky for a precious cat to be hiding behind the dumpster. You opened the gate again and crouched to not scare the cat. You hoped it was a black cat; they were so adorable.

But all you found was a man sitting on the ground against the dumpster. It was hard to see, especially since it was dark. You needed a flashlight. You hurried inside, grabbing a flashlight and placing the wooden stick on the door.

You quietly crouched again and made your way behind the dumpster. He was still there; you could hear breathing. You turned on the flashlight to finally see.

The large man had long brown hair and wore a mask, and you could see dark-smeared eyeshadow around his eyes. He was also wearing a tactical outfit.

Why would someone be wearing these? But the weirdest thing was that his left arm was metal, completely missing the blood on his metal fist from how awestruck you were.

You caught blood on his right hand. He's hurt. You went again inside the store and grabbed a Medkit, forgetting all about the wooden stick you were supposed to put between the door.

You placed the flashlight on the floor, took out alcohol, and dipped some on a gauze. You carefully leaned over his legs, grabbing his hand and rubbing the wet dipped gauze, but when you wiped the blood away, there was no cut or wound.

You thought he was injured, but you could have never been so wrong. Suddenly, the man grabbed your neck, making you grunt as he slammed you on the ground. He was directly on top of you as he pinned you down with his weight.

"H-hey, wait!" he tightened his hold around your fragile neck, making you groan. You struggled as you clawed at his metal hand, trying to escape, but his right hand pinned both your hands above your head.

The flashlight was illuminated so you could see he was assessing your body to see if you had any weapons. But then his eyes went to your locket. He let go of your hands and held the locket in his hand, loosening his hold around your neck, making you gasp for air.

He opened the locket to see the picture of you and Bucky. You thought he was about to rip it off your neck, damaging your precious locket, so you hit him in the groin, making him let go of your locket and get off you, and you kicked him in the face with your leg.

You scurried off the ground to see that his mask had fallen off, revealing that familiar face that you thought you had started to forget.

You breathed heavily, still terrified of the almost-dying encounter. "B-bucky?" He quickly looked up at you and was about to lunge at you, but you screamed and dashed out of the dumpster enclosure, slamming the gate shut, locking it, and running to the back door.

You finally realize that you have forgotten the wooden stick, and a panting breath escapes from you, trying to open the door frantically.

"Open, please!"

You looked behind you to see that he had leaped out of the enclosure without even having to unlock the gate. The frightening man that had the face of Bucky glared at you. You bolted around for the front door of the store.

You opened the door shakily, hearing the jingled nose above you, and locked the front door, looking around the windows for that... thing.

You backed away from the door, almost tripping on some boxes you left on the floor. You took out the lavender sachet you kept in your pocket to calm you down, and you breathed it in as you slumped to the floor and closed your eyes.

[babylacedream]

you asked why I crossed the line

i always find myself back to you જ part 1 of ?

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10

pairing: soft yandere!bucky barnes x f! autistic reader

warning: ableism, overprotective!bucky, yandere themes, anxiety, misogyny, sexist, implied lovemaking, abandonment, bittersweet, angsty

summary: you and bucky are childhood friends. after bucky returned from the army as a sergeant, he wanted to tell you something over milkshakes before he leaves you yet again.

notes: what can i say? i like a man in uniform.

inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called y2k, I recommend listening. have to support my girly!

please remember i am autistic, so i will be writing my personal experience with my autism. thanks!

"Freak!"

You were pushed into a corner, harshly against the hard concrete wall, a slight pain on your wrist as the impact caused you to slam onto your left arm. Your coworker, Charles, loved picking on you, especially since finding out you were different from the rest.

"To think that someone like you is working alongside us men." He grabbed your collar, pulling you to him and tightening his grip.

You tried removing his hand from your collar, overloading your senses, but he wouldn't budge. You breathed in and out and chuckled before provoking him, "And to think I have to work with a bunch of males who struggle with such fragile masculinity."

Charles fumingly lifted his hand; it would only mean one thing, that being the usual stinging ache on your cheek, you would feel again. You closed your eyes, awaiting a smack, but it never came.

"Hey!" Someone shouted from behind, catching his arm and pulling him away from you as he stumbled. The towering uniformed sergeant stood in front of you, his back facing you as he kept you from a safe distance from your abuser.

"Pick on someone your own size." The sergeant sauntered menacingly to the now scared Charles. Charles thought he could overpower a sergeant but he only received a punch to the face and a kick to his butt making him scram.

While the sergeant cleared the coast, you were occupied brushing the dirt off your blouse. You didn't even realize he got close to you, grabbing your bruised wrist and examining it.

"Hey, that hurts..." You winced, "Bucky!"

James Buchanan Barnes is your most precious childhood friend. The person who protected you and the only one who didn't discriminate against you. He was back from the recent war, you wondered why he came here...

"It wouldn't hurt if you were smart, dollface." Bucky playfully expressed this before taking out a bandage and wrapping your wrist gently.

"Hmph, why are you here?" You expressed yourself back at him.

Bucky chuckled, finally compressing your wrist. He looked proud of his own work. You pulled your wrist to get his attention. Bucky's attention from your wrist went to your skeptical expression.

"You want a milkshake?"

A diner, you and Bucky shared lots of endearing moments that gave you nostalgia. The jukebox playing in the background, the murmur of customers, and the overall atmosphere in this diner felt just right for you.

Bucky pulled out the chair for you to sit down. "You know I can pull my own chair, right?"

"I know you're capable of doing so. I just wanted to spoil you a bit today."

You sipped your milkshake. It's surprising he even remembered the specific way you like your milkshakes. Vanilla with extra whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles, and one cherry on top. You thought he forgot all about you...

"Dollface," he called out as he studied you purposefully, "I wanted to confess something to you."

"Mm?" You uttered, your attention on the straw in your mouth as you bit it.

"I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have crossed the line that night."

You released your teeth around the straw and questioned him, "You say cross the line, but what line are you referring to? The line of you embracing me... or the line of you not telling me you were leaving for the army that night?"

You knew all men were expected to enlist, but the thing that ticked you off was the fact he never mentioned he was leaving a few hours after that. You wouldn't have been so angry if he told you.

"Leaving you."

In fact, he had his reasons for embracing you that specific night. He wanted to be your first; he didn't want some scrawny man to have his way with you. It was certainly cruel, but he wanted to make sure if he died, he would be your first.

You sensed the regret in his voice and the occasion, rubbing his leg against your knee under the table.

"Do you know how I felt after waking up to an empty bed? I thought that you possibly didn't enjoy it with me..."

Bucky clenched his fist. "Are you kidding? That night was the best..." He stopped himself; he didn't want to cause a scene in your favorite diner that you enjoyed coming to.

Bucky took out a ten-dollar bill, placed it on the diner table, grabbed your right hand, and led you outside.

"Bucky, please don't hurt me... I don't think I can put up with it once again."

You knew he would return again to the army. The uniform said it all. He became a sergeant. You placed your hands on his chest and fixed his collar. "Congratulations on becoming a sergeant."

Bucky grabbed your right hand, removing it from his chest, gently wrapping it with his own, and placing a kiss on it.

"Doll, am I selfish for asking you to wait for me?"

"Yes, you are selfish." Bucky chuckled at your quick response. Bucky leaned in to place a kiss on your cheek.

"Indeed, I am."

"If you pinky swear to come back to me. Perhaps I will wait for you."

Bucky grinned when you lifted your pinky finger, waiting for him to do the honors. It made him reminiscence. The times you would swear if he didn't pinky swear with you, he would surely end up with the flu.

Bucky lifted his pinkie finger, linking it around yours.

"I pinky swear."

[babylacedream]

I'll throw my heart out to the ocean tonight

pairing: merman!rafayel x f!thalassophile reader

warnings: suicidal attempt & ideation, mini panic attack, cancer patient, angsy

summary: recently, you were diagnosed with cancer in your heart that would soon take your life. you have been obsessed with the ocean ever since you were a child, and when all hope was lost, you decided to give your heart out to the ocean.

note: inspired by pinkpantheress unreleased song called ocean. i recommend listening, its a beautiful song.

The beeping sounds of your heart monitor and the occasional sounds of nurses passing by were starting to bother you. Even the stench from your hospital room gave you a headache. The bitter-like smell of chemicals made you feel nauseous.

You started feeling breathless, as your chest pain was too unbearable to handle. Tears streamed down your cheeks. You couldn't scream for help nor rid yourself of this ache.

You tried calming yourself by grounding yourself by looking around your room. Many seashells hung up on the white walls. Pictures of whales, dolphins, and turtles.

The throbbing pain in your heart stopped. You breathed with exhausted exhales and inhaled.

You weaky reached for your phone, playing your playlist you kept especially for moments like these. The sound of the waves of the sea, and the moans of the whales carried you as you soon fell asleep on your hospital bed.

The next day was like every other miserable day in this place, getting chemotherapy, having to join therapy groups, and occasional greetings from doctors who have failed you.

Your parents made sure that you were taken good care of and observed carefully after your recent attempt. Their influence reached even the deadliest parts of your life. The life you wanted control over.

You wanted to see the ocean before your inevitable end. You wanted to give the ocean, the most bruised part of your body that failed you. In hopes, that it would make a beautiful seashell that twinkled and basked under the moonlight and stars.

You would hope that it would live on for years and years to come to preserve the ocean.

"Wishful thinking."

One night when the night seemed too quiet and long, you ripped out the IV out of your inner elbow, and blood dripped down your arm. You placed your feet inside your slippers and changed out of your hospital gown to a pink-laced nightgown. Soon, the blood on your arm would stain your nightgown almost as if foreshadowing your doom.

These past few months, you've studied the nurse's scheduled time off making sure when they left, you timed it on your phone. You were able to easily slip by their suffocating watch.

The automatic doors opened as you reached the door of the hospital entrance. A relieving sigh escaped your lungs as you walked out of the place you called, purgatory.

The night sky was darker than the other nights. You requested beforehand a taxi. As you sat in the back looking out the window reminiscing about your life. You knew you would not have regrets.

Your parents? The one time you've ever asked them for anything, you even begged your parents to release you or see the ocean but they refused, deeming it idiotic and selfish.

But, instead of loving you, they used you to gain pity from their supporters to gain an upper hand as a candidate in their political standings. You left a note on your hospital bed, hoping that this would be your last and final way of getting your revenge against them.

Your friends? They became bored when they realized you lost your parent's favor after being diagnosed with heart cancer. Back then, you cried so much but now all your tears have dried out for those people.

"This is your stop."

The driver called out, slipping you out of your reminiscing. You stepped out of the taxi and closed the door.

You turned around to face the ocean, hearing the sound of the waves crashing felt liberating. As the wind was howling, it made your nightgown and hair move against the winds.

At this point, you were losing a lot of blood but you didn't let that stop you. You took off your slippers as if the sand were holy ground, stumbling in the progress as you stepped on the sand.

Your eyes trickled with tears as adrenaline pumped through your body erasing the throbbing pain in your heart. Your feet reach the cold ocean water, and you let your feet get used to the feeling as your toes shift under the sand.

You let out a breathy puff as you felt tears forming yet again. You weren't in tears for your miserable life but for your pass over to the ocean.

"I'll throw my heart out to the ocean tonight. I hope you'll accept me as I am, bruises and all."

You gloomily softly spoke into the wind before walking deeper into the water. Your nightgown became drenched in water as the waves splashed on you. Your nightgown became heavily engulfed by the water.

Your heartbeat pumped so loudly that the sound of the waves was too low to hear. Irritated, you drove under the water completely submerged under the water.

The water filling your ears felt good, for your heartbeat was silenced. Holding your breath, you swam further. You wanted to rest where not even the filthiest hands could ever reach you.

You ascend to breathe before weakly submerging again. When you were far from land, you ascended again to catch a glimpse of the moon and stars above the sky.

"How peaceful."

You thought the waves would be rough, but it was surprisingly calm. Could this be a sign? A sign that the ocean accepts you as you are?

The calm waters and the oceanic smell of salty air consumed you even more; it felt like something was pulling you in, like the current.

It felt alluring, almost like the deep sea lily that hypnotizes and captivates with a sweet smell to only drown its prey with its venomous blooms.

You were starting to cough up blood and grimace at the feeling; it was affecting your blood vessels and spreading to your lungs. Though you were violently coughing, the oceanic waves receded gently.

You had to hurry; you were running out of time. You swam even further in; the surrounding sea was dyed with bits of your blood. You took one last look at the moon and stars and drove underwater holding your breath.

Gravity usually pulls you up, but gravity seems to keep you down. When you were completely surrounded by nothing but your thoughts. You close your eyes, letting yourself float as you sink even deeper.

'Please, make my heart into a beautiful, pleasing seashell that can live on for days and days to come.'

Your nightgown and hair were floating with you as you descended. You hoped that the waters would carry you to a peaceful place. As water filled your lungs, you struggled underneath the hold death held on you.

You never wanted this, never wanted death, but if death meant ultimate peace, you would surely let it take you.

Unbeknownst to you, a certain merman heard you. You, a poor, sicky human, have been accepted by the Sea God himself.

You heard a siren-like voice sing in an ancient language. It was pleasing to hear. You opened your eyes, hoping to see a whale, but it was hard to see as your vision started getting blurry, but you could see the outline of a fish... or a tail? A merman...

You thought you were only hallucinating; how beautiful to see a merman at your approaching death. You closed your eyes again, letting yourself be consumed by the sea.

You felt a pair of hands cupping your cheeks; you wanted to look, but your eyes felt so heavy. The hands caressed your cheeks almost lovingly. Then, it went to your lips, rubbing them with its thumb. A kiss that felt soft and good gave you the gift of breathing underwater.

But you were still dying.

The hands slowly went to your neck, caressing it, and lowered down to your chest in the direction of your heart. You felt the string of fate mend your heart to perfection.

You opened your eyes to see a merman with dusky purple hair and bluish-pink eyes. The merman had iridescent light blue scales surrounding his skin and fish-like ears that you were sure would sting you if you touched them.

You looked down weakly to see an iridescent light blue tail that looked more beautiful than anything you'd seen in your life. You were sure, the merman was about 8 feet. The attracting tail swayed back and forth as you followed its movements.

The merman smiled, seeing how you gazed at his tail. He gently supported you in his arms, lifting your body and wrapping your legs around his waist. The merman didn't want to be apart from you.

His smooth fingers gently raised your chin to look at him. Then, he grabbed your wrists, placing them around his neck so you would feel more secure in his hold.

"I heard your cry. Oh, weary human." A melodious voice spoke with a lamentable expression cascading his ravishing face.

"I have accepted your heart, as is." The merman looked towards your now healed chest, gone from any scars on your body. It's almost like he knew of your suffering. Your miserable life.

"Now, won't you be my bride, mm?" He waited for your answer as he slowly glided his hand down your leg.

"Won't you be mine?" You were trembling; being affectionately cared for by an oceanic ancient creature was transcending.

You simply gave him a slow and unsure nod as you pulled him in for a hug, hiding your face away from him. You heard chuckling escape the merman.

The merman started rubbing your back in soothing motions. This merman saved your life, took your pain away, and mended it into something beautiful.

"This is your home now."

[babylacedream]

saved by the colonel

pairing: yandere!caleb x f!bunny reader

summary: you have been transmigrated as a bunny in the dark ages. who would think that the colonel would be so interested in a bunny...

You had just gotten used to the everyday life of being in your middle 20s as a woman in the 20th century. Working your butt off for your bosses each day. It was tough, but anything for money, right?

When you woke, you realized how close the ground was to you. You were small in height but not this tiny. You looked around to see a small white paw in your vision.

'What the hell? Bunny paws?'

You had realized these paws were yours. You had become a bunny. A dwarf bunny, nonetheless. How unlucky could you be? You knew when you barely saw any modern building in sight. You were in the medieval ages.

You were stuck as a bunny in the medieval ages. It would only get a lot worse for you.

You were currently running for your life. These tiny legs were not helpful! When you were backed into a corner by the snake, you thought this was it. These meaningless minutes of your new bunny life were over.

Suddenly, the snake started curling up and violently shaking before your bunny-sized pink nose. You closed your eyes in fear. All you could hear was the crunching sound of bones breaking, and then the struggle of the snake ended.

You slowly open your eyes to see a tall man with black hair and purple eyes. This man wearing a Colonel uniform looked terrifying. His eyes gleamed at the sight of you, making his stare intimidating.

“What do we have here?”

The man carefully picked you up and safely placed you on his black-gloved hand. The man gently caressed your floppy, long white ear, making you shiver.

“It seems I’ve captured quite a beauty.”