#but what am i supposed to do when they’ve gotten her NOTHING | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pheonixgrave · 1 year ago

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Softer Now (18+)

Ahh! You guys seem to be really enjoying these. I realized I was just writing the same Tav so there's that

Warnings: Soft smut, definite voyeurism, a decent amount of blood drinking, Soft!Astarion, pre-Act III, post-Act II

“Aren’t you just a little jealous?” Karlach asked, joining Astarion near the stash of wine they found.

“Why would I be jealous of the walking encyclopedia?” He smirked, watching a certain elf interact with a certain wizard.

“Oh c’mon! He’s flirting with her and you two are a thing, right?”

“I find it rather charming, actually,” he took a swig of the awful wine in his hand.

The Tiefling looked from the vampire spawn to the pair looking over some old tome whose name no one else could pronounce. “Charming?”

“Let me tell you what I see,” he set the bottle down to face the barbarian. “To you and I, Gale is obviously flirting. In a very clumsy manner, but flirting all the same. Our fearless leader, however, has no idea. To her, he is as much of a friend as Wyll or Shadowheart. Yet, he keeps trying because he has no clue that she simply isn’t flirting back.”

“That doesn’t make you angry?”

“Of course not!” He laughed, “I can barely believe he managed to bed a goddess with how he flirts.”

“It does seem pretty out there, as far as stories go,” Karlach crossed her arms and continued to watch the pair.

“Anyways, I know there’s no competition.”

She smirked, “You do sound a teensy bit jealous.”

“My dear, I do not get jealous.” The more he thought about it, the more pause it gave him. Their resident wizard does try to hold her attention more often than he should. But Tav’s time was her own. He knew he had nothing to worry about. After everything they’ve been through, he couldn’t imagine her changing her mind at the last moment. Right?

Tav, on the other hand, was enjoying pouring over the old tome they had found. It gave some interesting insight into Illithids and their reasonings. Unfortunately, she was unable to read the language it was written in. She was thankful for Gale in that sense. Who knew he spoke Deep Speech? Granted it was written in Espruar but the script itself was odd. The wizard had helped her decipher a few pages about psionic energy and how they have mastered it. It truly was fascinating.

“This is nice,” Gale spoke from next to her. He was holding the dusty tome in his hands with the bard sitting near him, using her mage hand to scribble any notes she’s taken.

She looked up at him with wide eyes, “I suppose it is! I’m very happy we found this book.”

“It truly is remarkable,” he swallowed, “It’s also a nice excuse to spend more time together in the midst of all this madness.”

“Oh! I suppose it is nice to sit with everyone.” She didn’t fail to notice him scoot slightly closer. Just a hair between them now.

Gale closed the book and turned to look at the elf next to him. “I’m afraid I must ask you something.”

Something in Tav’s mind warned her to walk away. But she was still getting used to that voice, so she elected not to listen to it. This was Gale. This was her friend. “What’s on your mind?”

He grabbed her hands in his, “I have noticed you and Astarion getting rather close recently.”

Tav wasn’t sure how to react. She was already flustered by the sudden turn of the conversation. She was more than happy to keep speaking of the Illithid empire. “Where are you going with this, Gale?”

Gale’s eyes never left hers. It was like he was trying far too hard to bear into her soul and she simply…didn’t want him to. “I told myself it was casual, not a matter of the heart but…clearly I was wrong and it looks like I am the last to know. I know how close you two have gotten, I just thought you would show me the respect of telling me first.”

The Elf’s jaw dropped, “Tell you? Tell you what?”

“But you can tell me now. Who is it to be? Me or him?” The look in Gale’s eyes was nearly as serious as when he was told he’d have to become a bomb.

“What exactly am I choosing here?” Tav blinked, glancing down at the wizard’s hands that completely enveloped hers. It took her a moment before her brain caught up. “Oh! Oh, Gale! I had no idea you felt this strongly.”

A glimmer of a smile reached his face, “Well, perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach…but I was only myself. Sometimes that just isn’t enough.” His face dropped looking at hers, “Whatever your decision is, I will respect it. But you must choose. You cannot have us both.”

Tav made a choked sound in the back of her throat before clearing it. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I think it’s for the best that we aren’t involved like that. I want to be with Astarion.”

“I see. I suppose he does have a certain charm about him, if you’re into that sort of thing.” He sighed, “I’ll just put my feelings to one side. I think that’s best for everyone. It’s certainly the best thing for me. I won’t leave, unless you want me to. Or until fate forces my hand, your friendship is all we have. And I will be happy to have it, eventually.”

Tav’s heart broke for the man. It must be quite painful to not have those feelings returned. For a moment, she thought about what she would do if Astarion ever stops feeling the things he says he feels for her. And the thought almost brought tears to her eyes. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” she couldn’t hide the crack in her voice. But Gale was never going to be the cause of it.

“Worry not. I carry my regrets wherever I go and I am used to their weight. One more will not break my back.” He gripped her hands one final time before she pulled away.

She gave him a sad smile before walking over to where Karlach and Astarion stood. Grabbing the bottle from Astarion’s hands, she drank deep for a moment. They both glanced at each other before turning back towards the Elf. She handed the bottle back to him before smiling at Karlach, “Is there anything you have to admit to me? Any deep romantic feelings or attachment?”

Karlach laughed, “What? No, soldier!” She put her still warm hand on the much smaller elf’s shoulder. “You’re a dear friend. More than that, you’re family.”

Tav’s shoulders dropped, “Oh thank the Gods.” She turned to Astarion who was watching her with raised eyebrows, “Bed?”

The moment they were inside his tent, she buried her face in his chest with her arms wrapped so tightly around his waist. “Darling, what’s wrong? Did the mean mage say something he shouldn’t have?”

She didn’t want to pull far enough away to answer him. She didn’t want him to see her start to cry. She just shook her head and held him as close as she could. She wasn’t sure how to process these feelings. The vampire spawn just wrapped his arms around her trembling form.

“You don’t have to say anything, just nod your head. Did Gale hurt you in any way?” She could hear the growl in his voice. It sounded more dangerous than normal.

She pulled away with a deep inhale. She looked up at him with tears already streaming down her face. With a sniffle she whispered, “Gale admitted he had feelings for me, yes. But then I thought about how miserable life would be without you in it.”

Astarion froze, his body tensed. “So let me get this straight,” he swallowed, more nervous than he’s ever really been before. “You told Gale you’re not interested just to be with me? I do come with my complications, my love.”

She let out a breathy laugh, “I told Gale I’m not interested because I’m simply not interested.” Her hand reached up to stroke his cheek, “I just don’t ever want to imagine a life without you again. A world where you’re not with me. Because you’ve always been near, even if I didn’t know it.”

He remembers the night he told her about Cazador. The night he told her about the Szarr palace was also the same night she had told her about her tower. And how she could see the palace from her desk. It was true, they really have always been close in one way or another. “And you got that worked up because…?”

“I wouldn’t even know what I was missing,” she smiled at him, eyes still full of emotion. “You’ve been all of my firsts. First kiss, first night together. Hells, the first time I’ve held someone's hand was with you. This is all still very new to me. And the moment I thought about you not being with me I-” she let out a choked sob before gripping his shirt in her fists and burying her face in his chest once again.

For a moment, the vampire spawn didn’t react. It still takes him a moment to return affection but he managed to wrap his arms around the trembling bard. He swallowed before gently rubbing the small of her back. The thought of someone wanting him this badly was…daunting, to say the least. He knew if they had met before the nautiloid, he’d mark her as a victim. She was pretty and just naive enough to fall for him. Hells, he had even known her parents. Cazador loved having the city’s nobility over, but never her.

She was always the princess in the tower. Always there but never seen. Even Cazador had thought she was a mere rumor and nothing else.

For a while, he just held her while she cried. He wasn’t sure what else he could do besides hold her. Nothing he could say would comfort her. They weren’t even sure if they would survive this mess. So he pulled her closer. The rest of the night passed as they were wrapped in each other’s embrace. Soft, whispered words of a future sprinkled with hope. For the first time in his unlife, he had more than just hope.

The next couple of days passed uneventfully. They were only traveling, plain and simple. Onwards to Baldur’s Gate. Where all of their dooms or salvations lay. In the gloom of it all, Tav wanted some fun. She had gone to Shadowheart and pilfered some of her extra blankets with promises to replace them once they reached the city. As they set up camp yet again, she made her way towards the lake side. She laid out all of the blankets in a large square before finding the extra food she had squirreled away. And pulled out the best wine she could find. It was an obviously aged bottle still covered in a thick layer of dust, but the label looked fancy. She truly knew nothing about wine so she prayed to whomever was listening that it wasn’t swill. She then adjusted her bustier in an awkward manner before smiling to herself and searching for the vampire spawn.

He wasn’t hard to find. No one heard what she whispered in his ear. But they certainly noticed the fond smile and raised eyebrows as she dragged him away from the camp. Astarion looked at the little picnic she had put together, his hand in hers before kissing the top of her head. “And what’s the special occasion, darling?”

She smiled up at him, unabashed emotion in her eyes with a grin on her face. She was truly divine in the moonlight. She shrugged, “I just wanted to do something nice for you. We reach Baldur’s Gate in a couple days and we have to hit the ground running soon. I just wanted to take a moment, just for us.” She picked up the bottle of wine she had found, “I hope it’s okay. I know it’s old but I don’t know if it’s good.”

He smiled and pulled her close. “Aren’t you just the sweetest little thing?”

The tips of her ears flushed as he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. And then they sat and talked and ate and drank. They spoke about the Gauntlet of Shar, about the monastery, about the Moonrise Towers. And the conversation drifted to their party as Tav slowly became more and more tipsy. She talked about Wyll and his obvious daddy issues. Shadowheart and her love for more adult literature. And Astarion was all too happy to sit and listen to her. It’s one of the things that drew him to her, after all. She could read people like they were a book she was all too happy to read.

As the evening turned into night, the pair ended up against a nearby rock. Tav sitting on his lap as he peppered her neck with kisses. And as Tav’s giggles turned into soft moans as his hands started to travel to her waist. “You should keep quiet, my sweet, we wouldn’t want to wake the entire camp up. Would we?” He whispered before nipping at the base of her neck.

“I-I think you’d like that far too much,” she managed to gasp out as he helped her rock her hips back and forth against him.

He chuckled against her neck, leaving trails of almost bites with his fangs. “What ever makes you say that?”

“Astarion!” She moaned, grabbing the back of his head as he finally sank his teeth into her neck. She gripped his curls in one hand and dug her nails into his shoulder with the other. Her hips moved on their own as he slowly drank from her. His arms wrapped around her waist as he held her up. Between the wine and him drinking from her, she felt lightheaded. But that made the friction between them feel all the more intense.

“You always taste just so perfect, my love.” He slowly released her neck before slamming his lips against hers. He knew he was being needy but he craved her. As his lips melded against hers his nimble fingers went to work on the knots of her bustier. It never took him long to get her out of her clothes and tonight was no exception.

She grabbed his hands before he could fully remove her bustier, cradling his hands in hers. “Are you sure you want to do this? We really don’t have to. I’m happy to just sit here with you.” Her voice was barely a whisper, something meant just for him.

He smiled at her before kissing her again, “Darling, if I didn’t wish to have you, I wouldn’t have you half dressed sitting on my lap.”

She smiled and let go of his hands and let him return to practically tearing off her clothing. He wasn’t satisfied until she was sat on his lap in nothing but her underwear. His face buried in her breasts, leaving small little nicks with his teeth as he made his way back up to her lips. Her hands gripped his shoulder as he snaked his hand down her body. He made sure to feel all the softness that was still on her body, never failing to trace her curves.

Tav was small but years in a tower had made her body gentle. Her hands were rough from her instruments, yes, and she did have a lot of skill with a blade. But she was in no way muscular. And Astarion enjoyed that more than he could say. He enjoyed being able to almost see the tremors in her thighs before he felt it. Gods, he needed her.

It only took him a moment to find her clit and draw slow, gentle circles around it. Never quite touching it directly. “Darling, you’re already shaking. Did you miss me that much?”

“Yes!” She cried into his ear. “Y-you’re teasing me.” Her head fell against his shoulder as her body trembled against him.

“Oh, I’d never do such a thing,” He smiled and buried his hand in her hair. “I simply want to take my time enjoying you.” The vampire spawn slowly filled her cunt with his fingers, his palm grinding against her clit.

She tried hard to keep quiet. Really she did. But when his fingers curled inside of her? She couldn’t help but cry out his name. How was he so patient? All she wanted was to have him inside her. He pumped his fingers in and out of her cunt so painfully slowly.

Now, Tav may have been too focused on the rogue’s hands to notice anything else. But Astarion wasn’t. He knew Halsin and Gale were keeping watch tonight. He also knew it was far too late for anyone else to be awake. Which is why his hands didn’t stop when he noticed the bushes across from them moved. It was so subtle that he almost missed it.

Almost.

Someone was watching them. And he had an inkling he knew exactly who it was. The thought made him grin against Tav’s bloodsoaked neck. He sped up his fingers, holding her as she writhed against him. “That’s it, love, don’t hold a single thing back.” She came with a cry of his name. She was still trembling as he made a show of licking his own fingers clean. “I do so enjoy how you taste, my love.” He didn’t whisper this time. He wanted the wizard in the bushes to hear.

With shaking hands she went to untie the knots on his trousers. He leaned back against the rock, letting her take his length in her hands. “M-may I?” Her neck was stained just as red as the flush on her cheeks. Her big blue eyes wide in anticipation.

“May you what?” His hand went to her throat and he felt her breath catch.

“M-may I ride you?” It really was endearing how she asked. Her voice was breathless and her chest was heaving. He had never been overly rough with her. But with a voyeur in the bushes? He was more than tempted to lay claim to the nearly virgin in his lap.

He pouted at her, “I’m not quite sure what you mean, darling.”

Her eyes went wider than before. “W-what?”

She was so innocent. So pure, he had never even heard her swear before. “What is it exactly that you would like to do?” He purred, his forehead meeting hers. “Don’t play coy with me now.”

She swallowed, the tips of her ears matching the rest of her face. “Astarion,” she whined.

“If you use your words, love, I’ll be happy to give you anything you want.”

She whined again when the grip around her throat tightened ever so slightly. “I-I want-” another swallow, “I want to ride your cock.”

He smiled, “See? Now was that so hard? You did so well,” he whispered against her lips. She adjusted herself over him, still holding him in one hand while the other braced herself on his shoulder. His hand still held her throat, not quite squeezing just letting her know he was there. The bard lowered herself onto him. He groaned as she sank down. “Perfect.”

Her other hand flew up to his chest while she gripped his blouse so tightly that her knuckles were whiter than before. Her head spun while the wine loosened her tongue. “Gods, Astarion.”

“Use your words, darling,” he moaned against her neck, his eyes keeping an eye on the bush yet again. He wanted the wizard to see how good he could make her feel. He wanted him to see that he wasn’t even a thought on her mind. He wanted him to see that she wanted him and not Gale.

She sat for a moment, adjusting to his size before rocking her hips back and forth. Astarion’s hands flew to her hips to help guide her movements. “Feels so good,” she whimpered, still clutching at his blouse.

“That’s it, pet. You can take it, I know you can.” Her movements were entirely her own. She gradually went from rocking to bouncing. His body told him to throw his head back but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. Maybe now Gale would realize she was his. Maybe he had more of a possessive streak than he thought.

“Your hand, put it back!” She used his chest as leverage for her movements. He could feel her getting close and who was he to deny her? He instinctively put his hand back around her throat and squeezed. He had never felt her tighten around him harder. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. He let her sit like that for a moment as she started to relax once again.

Whoever was in the bushes was gone now. Either too riled up to stay or too heartbroken to watch. Either way, Astarion found it satisfying. Satisfying enough to toss Tav on her back and put her ankles on his shoulder. It was something about knowing Tav not only trusted him but chose him, drove him wild. Far more than any lover he’s had in the past. Even through her half opened eyes and her mind filled with wine and pleasure, her eyes were still filled with that emotion. That feeling that he wouldn’t dare put words to yet.

She was his. And he was equally hers.

Her moans and whimpers filled the air but he felt so far away from her. Too far. She grabbed his hands and pulled him closer, lacing her hands with his. “Beautiful,” was all she could whisper before she clenched around him. This time, he wasn’t far behind her. They laid like that for a while. Him on top of her, her tracing small patterns on his back. The scars were a reminder of what awaited them in Baldur’s Gate. But it could wait for now. For now they had each other.

“Did you see who was in the bushes?”

He immediately met her eyes, “You knew?”

“I’m naive, not stupid.” She giggled, rolling over to her side.

“I believe we just gave the magic eater quite the eyeful.”

#astarion #astarion smut #astarion x tav #baulders gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #fem!tav #cucking Gale #not my gif

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elvensorceress · 7 months ago

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idk I get incredibly angry at homophobes being cast on my gay shows. anybody want the start of my fic where Eddie dumps her bigoted ass and then has a gay ole sexy time with his husband and his husband's new boyfriend? because here. you can have. it's cathartic 💕

test drive - 2K, BuckTommy, BuckEddieTommy, Buddie endgame forever / Explicit

The restaurant is dimly lit in a way that might be classy and romantic, but Tommy’s hand is also on Buck’s thigh. And he’s having a lot of very not-classy, not even very romantic sorts of thoughts. Everything is far more along the lines of, he could put his hand on my dick, and I know what his cock feels like down my throat, and why are we here in a public place when we could be back at my loft taking turns fucking each other until we’re both a mess of cum and lube and sweat and sexy bruises and love bites? Because all of that is way more appealing than what they are sitting here, waiting to do.

If it were just one of their dates, it’d be great. Those are fantastic. Tommy likes to pick him up and take him to nice places and he smiles in a really, really soft cute way that also has an air of, I am going to fuck you until you scream and you will love every second. And holy fucking god, does Buck love every second.

Bisexuality, man. Who knew?

It’s so fantastic. It’s so different? Or maybe it’s just that Tommy is different because he’s ridiculously cool and hot and Buck always really liked when someone knew what they wanted and would take the lead and he could do everything in his power to please them and make them feel good. Confidence is infinitely sexy and competence even more so. And Tommy has all of that in spades.

And Buck loves men. Buck really loves men. It makes so much sense and how had he never even considered? Maybe he considered but he sure as hell never realized wanting a man and being attracted to a man was something that fit so well. Fuck, it fits so well.

Maybe he could even end up with a man someday? Maybe he could marry a man and have a relationship that is like this all the time for the rest of his life? Not that he doesn’t like women still. Women are great. People who don’t identify as either or they identify as both or however they choose— they’re great, too.

Everyone is hot and Evan Buckley is very bisexual, and it just might be one of the greatest revelations he’s ever had.

He’s just really, really enjoying being with a man right now.

He is not, however, enjoying the thought of this dinner. Everything about this dinner makes his stomach a washing machine of anxiety. For no reason. He doesn’t know why. There’s nothing wrong with it.

Why wouldn’t he and his boyfriend go on a double date with his best friend who is their mutual friend, and his best friend’s girlfriend. What is wrong with that? It’s fine. Should be— fun?

Shouldn’t be a bad taste in his mouth that the wine still hasn’t gotten rid of and roiling in his stomach that is really killing his appetite. But it very much is.

Tommy squeezes Buck’s thigh and rubs it in a way that surely is supposed to be comforting. But it makes Buck want to drag him out of this restaurant and back to the loft where he can show Tommy how good he is at fucking him now. Not just because it would be a thousand times better than the prospect of this dinner. The bar is so low on the ground, it’s buried at this point. But also because sex with his new boyfriend is better than— actually, Buck is having a hard time thinking of anything that is better right now.

Very hard time.

They’ve been practicing. Everything. Blowjobs, fucking, fingering, ball massages, prostate milking, rimming— all sorts of really fun things Buck never even imagined could feel so good. Not that he was oblivious to a lot of it. He has toys. His ex was into pegging. Buck might have been unaware of how intense and gay— well, bi. He’s bi now. Buck is bi now. Probably always was but he knows it now. He’s bisexual.— his attraction to men could be. But he was not unaware of sexual acts that feel good to his body.

But it’s totally different with a real man and a real cock and being manhandled by someone who might actually be bigger and stronger than you is really fucking hot.

He checks his watch again and it’s already 7:28. They’re almost half an hour late. Which is so not like Eddie. He’s not sure if Marisol is like that but he knows for sure Eddie is either fifteen minutes early for everything or he texts if there is a problem. Even then, he’s only ever a few minutes late. If that. And last Buck checked, there were no new messages on his phone.

He checks again, and still nothing. Not even to Buck’s message of, hey u ok? u on the way? He frowns and sets his phone back on the table and turns to Tommy. “How long before I’m allowed to be really worried?”

Tommy gives him an amused smile. “You can be worried.”

“How long before we need to bother Athena? Ten more minutes? Five? Sh-should I bother Athena now?”

Tommy’s eyebrows scrunch and he looks at Buck like he’s crazy. Okay, it’s probably crazy. Just. He’s worried? That must be the churning in his stomach. “I’m sure Eddie’s fine. It hasn’t been that long. And he’s Eddie.”

Yeah. Yeah, he’s Eddie. But Eddie was also shot downtown in the middle of broad daylight and nearly bled out all over, and there’s not much anyone can do even if they are trained in hand to hand combat and self-defense and those kinds of things. Not many ways to defend against a sniper round that shouldn’t even be a thing.

Not that Buck is thinking about that. Ever.

He’s just turning into a washing machine over this dinner. That’s all.

Five minutes later, some of it finally eases when Eddie finally shows up and sits down across from them. Alone.

Alone?

“Sorry, guys,” Eddie runs a hand through his hair and breathes like he’s run a hundred miles. He’s hardly been looking distressed at all lately. He’s been glowing smiles and pretty laughs. Not pretty. Nice? Good? Good that he’s so much happier and at peace.

But he’s not that now.

“I would’ve—” Eddie checks his own watch, one that was a Christmas present that Buck had engraved with, all the time you need, and must realize how late he actually is. “Fuck. Sorry. Really sorry. I’ll buy? Unless you’ve already eaten and paid and are about to leave.”

Tommy shakes his head and has that nice smile that’s so reassuring. “We haven’t. Don’t worry about it.”

“We were waiting,” Buck adds and itches to ask him what’s wrong, why he’s late, why he looks— like he isn’t okay.

“Great.” Eddie nods tersely and it sounds anything but great. “They got anything stronger than wine and cocktails here? Because—” He doesn’t say. But he does make a face the conveys everything.

“Doubt it,” Tommy says. “But we can get something somewhere else. Is Mar— Mari?”

“Marisol,” Buck supplies. Not that it matters. Not that he cares. Is he supposed to care? There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s fine.

“Right,” Tommy says, which should say everything. Eddie’s been hanging out with Tommy for months, Buck’s been with Tommy for months, and Tommy is pretty damn good at remembering people’s names. “Marisol. Is she still on the way?”

Eddie’s jaw gets very tight. “No. We’re done.”

Tommy looks at Buck and Buck looks at Tommy. They’re done? They broke up? Not that it’s particularly surprising. Part of the curse of dating someone you met on a call. Gotta be. Also the whole thing where Eddie has some kind of commitment issues or something because as soon as he gets a girlfriend, he has to spend all his time doing anything besides being with said girlfriend.

“So, drinking?” Tommy says.

Buck pushes his wine glass across the table. They usually share when they eat together. Drinks, food, anything. And he’s happy to offer it to the cause.

“Yes, drinking.” Eddie takes Buck’s wine and downs all of it.

Eddie’s single again. Marisol isn’t coming to dinner and she’s not part of their lives any longer. Not that Buck has a problem with her. She’s fine. She was nothing really. That wasn’t going to last. Eddie likes the idea of being with someone. So he says. He’s allergic to actually having a relationship for some reason.

The washing machine in Buck’s stomach disappears though. Which is so much better. Now, it’s just Buck hanging out with his best friend and his boyfriend.

Maybe there’s a little washing machine. It’s nothing though.

They order food and drinks, and Eddie only goes through a couple shots and three glasses of wine and one beer. But he eats and also drinks water and doesn’t seem inebriated at all. So, they focus on the meal and Tommy’s latest work stories of helicopter rescues.

It’s not until after Buck discreetly hands their waiter his credit card before they’re actually brought the bill, that Eddie actually starts talking.

“I kind of fucked up. Didn’t mean to. I owe you an apology,” he says and looks at Buck with worlds of regret and sorrow.

Whatever it is, Buck forgives him. He’s sure he’s done far worse than whatever it is. “Why? What, uh, what happened?”

Eddie doesn’t look at him. Or Tommy. He does shake his head but not like he’s saying no. More like he’s disgusted. “I let it slip that you two are— that you’re. Dating. Together. Boyfriends? Do you call each other that? Are you boyf— never mind, I let it slip. I’m sorry. That was my bad. Not my secret to tell.”

Tommy looks scrunched and confused again and Buck— he doesn’t understand what the problem is? No, he hasn’t told many people yet. But it’s not a secret that he and Tommy are together.

“Eds,” Buck says and immediately thinks he probably shouldn’t have called him that. He doesn’t know why. But he shouldn’t. “It’s fine. I��m not— It’s not a secret. I’m not hiding. Or— or in the closet? I’m out. Now. I’m bi and—” And he’s really happy about that. He really loves it. He’s bisexual. He loves women and men and whoever regardless of gender. And holy shit, does he love men right now. He really, really loves being with a man. He looks to his side and grins brightly at Tommy. “And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed that Tommy and I are together.”

There’s a cute half smile that curves the side of Tommy’s mouth and Buck so wants to kiss him. And do all sorts of other things with him.

“Well. Good.” Eddie taps his finger on an empty shot glass like he’s contemplating ordering another. “Still. Didn’t go well. Didn’t mean to out you like that.”

“Didn’t go well?” Tommy asks. “Saying that Evan and I are dating didn’t go well?”

Eddie purses his lips and does a slow, exaggerated shake of his head. “Nope. But at least I learned that now. Has the waiter brought our check yet? Because I’m just going to drink more if I don’t head out soon. Not that I’m sad about her or anything. I’m pissed. You think you know someone, and no. No, she’s a raging homophobe.”

She— oh. Oh, that’s what happened. “She broke up with you because we’re gay? Bi and gay? Or— you know what I mean.” Is Tommy gay? Or bi? Or something else? Buck hasn’t actually asked what label he uses. How he qualifies his sexuality. He felt weird asking. It’s so personal. Is he supposed to ask? All he knows is that Tommy was into him. Tommy kissed him and it was breathtaking, incredible, magnificent and changed Buck’s whole life. He didn’t really think anything beyond that. Couldn’t really think beyond that.

Eddie definitively points at himself and then at phantom nothingness. “I dumped her. Because I said this was a double date with you guys and she said, well not really, and I said, no really. It’s a double date. Her and me and both of you. Double date. Except not her. Ever. Anymore. Because she had to go off about how it was wrong and made her uncomfortable and I ‘let both of you be alone with Christopher?’ And it couldn’t possibly be a date like me and her would go on a date because she’s a woman and I’m a man and that was normal. But you two are both men. Both muscular, powerful, masculine, manly firemen type men— so it could never be the same especially because neither one of you are flamey or girly or whatever, so it could never work, the two of you since neither one of you is ‘The Girl.’ Which is all bullshit. By the way. Obviously. And,” he finally stops and breathes, and there’s a hard swallow in his throat and his eyes are distant and his whole body is strung tight and if he could breathe fire? He probably would. Holy shit, he’s pissed off. Buck isn’t even sure he’s ever seen Eddie this angry at anyone who hasn’t hurt someone he loves.

Although. Technically she did? Not hurt per se, Buck doesn’t give a shit about what she thinks of him. But she was insulting them. So. Yeah, okay, of course fiercely protective Eddie would be angry.

“And anyway,” Eddie says, still never quite looking at Buck or even at Tommy. Never quite focusing on them. “That’s how I’m single and back on the market again.” He smiles a wide, bitter, snarky kind of smile, and steals the half-full beer glass in front of Buck and downs it in one gulp.

(Read on AO3)

#buddie #bucktommy #jenwyn wip #buddie wip #almost done with the whole thing should be up in the next day or so #911 abc #fic: test drive

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sunonyoreface · 2 years ago

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He Knows - Simon “Ghost” Riley Pt. 2

Hi there, this is a series about Simon Riley from COD. This series does not follow any of the established plots or timelines from the games. While I use the names of some characters, they are different from the ones in COD.

Summary: You’re held captive by 141 for reasons unknown.

Word count: 3338

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

Warnings: military setting, violence, explicit language, sexual harassment.

PT3: https://at.tumblr.com/sunonyoreface/he-knows-simon-ghost-riley-pt-3/qgt9szb2sixk

“Don’t let her out of your sight. Got it?” Captain Price lectures soap as we eat breakfast together. It’s the third talk he’s gotten in the last day about the responsibility of keeping a “hostage”. I don’t know that I’d classify myself as a hostage though, however, something tells me it's just a legality and that there’s less paperwork for hostages than prisoners. That is if this ever gets written down on paper.

“Understood,” he says seriously. It’s only when he talks to price, that he uses this tone. Even when Soap tells me what to do, he doesn’t use a commanding voice. There’s always an edge of humour to his tone. It makes being around him actually bearable in this gloomy place.

They’ve been discussing protocol over bacon and hashbrowns. I’m surprised they’d do so while I’m present but nevertheless, I’m here. They cover everything ranging from where I’ll sleep to what happens when they’re out on a mission. No stone is left unturned.

I don’t have to wear cuffs at the table, however, everywhere else, they stay on. I eat whenever my babysitter eats. Using the washroom has to be approved beforehand and I’m supposed to sleep cuffed to one of they’ll hear if I try to escape. Which is a flawed system in my opinion because If I wanted to hurt them, that’s when I’d do it. However, Ghost apparently determined I’m not a physical threat. Apparently, I am a flight risk though. And apparently, that means I don’t get the privilege of wearing shoes.

When they’re on a mission, I’m to be locked in one of the interrogation rooms with surveillance. I’m guessing those were the rooms on the other side of the hall and not the one I was in yesterday. Part of me wonders why they didn’t want my investigation recorded. Another part of me knows it's probably because they didn’t want a record of me on file if they had to dispose of me. Then, I also asked myself why I had to sleep in the same area as the crew and not in the interrogation room, but maybe surveillance is easier when they don’t have to watch a screen all day.

Ghost sits beside Price at the metal picnic table while Soap and I sit on the opposite side. The other men are sitting at one of the adjacent tables, talking amongst themselves quietly. He doesn’t eat breakfast. Because eating breakfast would mean taking off his mask and I’m getting the impression he doesn’t do that all too often. At least around other people.

Instead of eating, he intently pays attention to Soap and Price’s conversation. His dark eyes flicker between the two as they take turns talking, largely remaining on Soap. I’ve noticed the two of them kind of follow each other around throughout the day. Last night, Soap made sure the cot next to him was open for Ghost. Then this morning, when Soap and I sat down to eat, it wasn’t long before Ghost found his way to our table despite skipping breakfast. I don’t mind Soap, but Ghost sets me on edge.

Just as the thought enters my mind, Ghost’s intense eyes make contact with my own. He caught me watching him. I freeze in surprise. His eyelids narrow with suspicion as he reads my expression. Nothing is innocent to him. Every movement, every gesture has some ulterior motive and he makes it his duty to reveal them. Even in the day’s early hours, he’s as alert as ever. I quickly break eye contact to stare at the last few hashbrowns on my plate.

I eat one potato at a time to keep myself occupied as the men talk. When I finally finish, I look up from my plate to realize Ghost is still staring at me, analyzing every movement. His cold gaze sends a chill down my spine. It's becoming clear to me that my interrogation didn’t end last night. No. He is as suspicious of me as ever.

Why did he clear me if he isn’t convinced, I’m innocent?

“So, when we move bases today, she stays with you the whole time. At any point do you uncuff her?” Price’s voice catches my attention as he mentions moving bases.

“Negative, sir,” Replies Soap. I get the feeling Price doesn’t necessarily trust him to watch me based on the amount of detailed instruction he provides Soap.

“Good. And the blindfold stays on ‘til we’re at the forward operating base,” he says. Soap’s leg bounces under the table and I can tell he’s tired of this conversation. Price is underestimating his abilities.

“Yes sir.”

“Right then. See you boys at 0700,” Price takes his place as he leaves the table. I catch the tail end of a shared look between Soap and Ghost, confirming my suspicions about them being close. I wonder what Ghost thinks about Soap taking on babysitting duties?

Last night while I was showering, Soap collected a few pieces of clothing for me that the men were willing to part with: a pair of wool long johns that I tied at the waist and cuffed at the ankles, a pair of thick socks, boxers, and a long-sleeved shirt that falls mid-thigh and fits like a dress. Several weeks ago I’d tell you I didn’t like the way shirt dresses looked, but today I’m just thankful for something that covers more than my ratty tank top. From what I can tell, I’m the only woman here and it’s made me significantly more conscious of what I’m wearing. I’m thankful for the full coverage and weary of any lingering eyes.

“Can you watch her for a second? Gotta hit the lavvy,” Soap asks Ghost.

“Not my job,” he answers plainly.

“Just watch her, will ya?” he quips back, leaving before Ghost has the chance to refuse. I watch Soap walk away before turning my gaze back to my empty plate. Suddenly the two tiny crumbs are worth analyzing in great detail to avoid making eye contact with Ghost. I feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to look up.

“Get up,” Ghost’s orders are quiet, but I’m not mistaken about who they’re for. He directs me to follow him with a slight nod toward the door. I quickly follow behind him, speeding up my pace to keep up with his long legs. I place my dishes in the bucket beside the door before leaving back to the sleeping quarters. Price mentioned we leave at seven, so it can’t be much longer until the team has to go.

After we exit the cafeteria area, he motions for me to walk in front of him. He did this yesterday too, ensuring I can’t sneak up from behind and attack him. Ghost is incredibly observant of his surroundings. Not only that but people’s body language as well. There’s nothing his sharp eyes miss.

“Pack your things,” he says as we enter the quarters. Except I don’t have anything to pack. I have a single blanket and a pillow that was lent to me last night, but I don’t even know that I’m supposed to keep them. Even if I can I don’t have a bag to pack them in.

“I don’t have a bag,” I mumble.

“What’s that?” Ghost asks, his voice tighter when he talks to me than Soap. He’s annoyed I’ve been passed off to him.

“I, uh, don’t have a bag to carry them.”

“For fucks sake,” he mutters under his breath. “Like looking after a fucking child.”

His harsh words sting, but all I can do is stand here and pretend to not hear them. Ghost rummages through his duffel bag until he pulls out a plastic shopping bag. He wordlessly extends his hand with the bag. His harsh eyes carefully watch as I process his actions and take a weary step forward to grab the bag.

“Thank you,” the words are timid and quiet. I don’t know enough about Ghost to gauge what his actions will be. Although he’s been relatively civil to me, he clearly also has a temper that boils just under the surface. And until I know what triggers that temper, I’ll be walking on eggshells around him. If I’m smart, I’ll walk on eggshells around all of them. These aren’t ordinary men after all and to treat them as such would be a significant lapse in judgment.

Ghost doesn’t respond to me. Instead, he ignores my words and turns back to his bag, packing up the last few items and articles of clothing from his space. Last night, I slept on the floor between his and Soap’s cot. This morning I neatly folded and rolled my blanket up and placed it on the pillow. Now, they only take a moment to stuff in the bag.

I find myself feeling directionless. I take a seat on the floor beside the cot and watch Ghost as he starts to check and clean his pistol. He sits on the edge of his cot now with his feet planted firmly on the ground. The gun looks small in his hands as he methodically disassembles it and lays the parts on the folded bed. His posture is relaxed and his broad shoulders slouch ever so slightly. He attends to each part of his weapon with care, cleaning the barrel and assuring every moving part is working. Ghost then unloads and reloads the clip before sliding it back into place.

“You left without telling me,” Soap’s tense, but familiar voice fills the room. Ghost mutters something indiscernible under his breath.

“I’m not waiting forty minutes for you to take a shit,” he says bluntly. I can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of my lips.

“It was not forty minutes,” Soap sounds mildly offended and as though he’s reconsidering how long he was gone. “Oh, you think that’s funny now, do ya?” his attention turns to me. I bite the inside of my cheek to hide the smile and shrug my shoulders.

“Nope,” I say simply. I feel another pair of eyes on me and make an effort not to pay them any attention.

“Whatever,” he says grabbing his pre-packed duffel bag. Soap grabs a black fabric bag that looks like the balaclavas they all wear, but without the eye holes. “Put this on, you’re not allowed to see where we’re going,” he hands me the mask.

I take one last look at the sleeping quarters before sliding the mask on. The fabric’s soft, but I hate not being able to see. I’m transported back to being held captive by the last group of men who blindfolded me often. When they’d move me from room to room, I wasn’t allowed to see my surroundings. One of the men would get impatient with me as I blindly walked without a guide and occasionally push or shove me. Several small cuts and bruises remind me of his impatience.

“Here,” Soap’s hand lightly taps my shoulder as he offers to help me up. I grab his calloused hand as he pulls me up from my spot next to the cot. His other hand gently grabs my shoulder to steady me, before quickly letting go. “There ya go,” he says softly.

“Thanks,”

“I’ll save ya a seat LT,”

I’m grateful for soap as he guides me through the halls of the base with a gentle hand on the back of my arm. He’s patient: not yelling or shoving me if I don’t walk fast enough. A stark change from how I was treated before. When we get to the vehicle, he helps me up the steps and to a chair.

I hear several of the other men already waiting and I know for certain the layout isn’t the same as a traditional car. This is a military vehicle. A transport van of some sort maybe? From what I can tell there aren’t multiple rows of two to three seats like in a car. Instead, there’s a row of seats connected to the frame of the vehicle that align parallel with the road. Everyone sits shoulder to shoulder and faces the person across from them in the van.

More men pile in and I hear several new voices. There are definitely more of them than just the crew who found me last night. Soap takes a seat to the right of me and I become aware of just how little space there is in here. His warm thigh presses against mine as he straps himself in.

“Here,” Soap presses a metal clasp of some sort into my hand. I grab onto the tiny piece unsure of what to do with it. I tense up when he reaches across me and grabs a strap from behind my left shoulder. His arm involuntarily brushes against my chest as he does so. “Clip these together,” he presses the second half of the clasp in my hand and I blindly fidget with them until they seem to lock together.

“Is this right?” I ask quietly as I hold the latch out for Soap to see. I’m conscious of the other men who are loading into the van. I wish I could melt through the walls and disappear from their sight. I know I’ve been the topic of conversation the last twenty-four hours and now I’m right here for them to examine. The blindfold is almost nice because while I know they’ll be staring at me, at least I won’t know for sure.

Soap grabs the latch from my hands and gives it a tug. “Looks good,” he says. “Should tighten it though,” he grabs the straps closest to him and starts to adjust them. They don’t sit like a normal seatbelt. Instead, each strap wraps around your shoulder and waist to connect in the center of your stomach. The last person sitting in this seat was a man much larger than myself wearing a bulletproof vest and various other tactical gear; they need to be almost fully tightened to fit properly against my frame.

“Ghost, can you get the other strap?” Soap asks. My ears tune in to a heavy pair of approaching footsteps.

“Negative,” a deep voice says, but a new pair of hands grabs the straps on my left side. His gloves brush over my collarbone as he grabs the belt and pulls it tight. He’s more efficient at adjusting the straps than Soap, finishing sooner despite having started last. Once they’re both finished, Ghost takes the seat immediately to my left.

Like Soap, Ghost’s arm and thigh press into my own. The van is designed to fit as many people as possible in a limited space. Touching is inevitable. My heart rate picks up at the close proximity to the two men and my entire body is completely tense. I hold my hands together in my lap with my nails pressing down hard into the palms of my hands. I can already feel the marks they’re going to leave.

The two of them remain silent, however, the other men converse amongst themselves. They’re upbeat conversations. They almost sound excited about this next mission. One last man climbs into the van before the door slams shut.

“All aboard?” I recognize Price’s voice from the front of the vehicle. All of the side conversations come to an immediate halt at the sound of his voice.

“Affirmative,” Ghost’s loud response rings in my ears as he shouts back to his commander.

“Then we’re off!”

Conversations pick up again once Price finishes speaking. Minutes pass before someone across from me switches the topic of conversation. He starts talking to one of the men beside him. I can make out the first man’s words, however, the second one speaks with a low tone that is hard to depict.

“So what’s her deal, Soap? How badly did you fuck up to get that job?” The first man turns his attention to Soap. He’s saying less than he knows. Everyone knows why I’m here. It’s not like there’s an abundance of gossip or girls hanging around their base. When there is, they’re sure to be talked about. This man is fishing for more information from Soap. I feel his shoulders shift as he sighs. He expected this to happen, but not so soon.

“Didn’t fuck up anything,” he responds.

“No? They promoted you to babysitter for doing a good job? Might as well be a fucking lavvy queen,” this earns a few chuckles from the growing audience of men. They’re all curious. I’ve felt their eyes on me since the minute I stepped foot on their base. They’ve been waiting for someone to make the first move. All this fuss, yet no one has acknowledged me directly. Not yet anyway. I can’t imagine it’ll be long until they do. I haven’t been told not to interact with them. But I know better.

“Doesn’t matter,” says Soap dismissively.

“Right then,” says the man. It’s quiet for a moment, the conversation almost seeming to come to a stop. Until the man speaks up again. “And since when did we start bringing prisoners on missions?”

“Well, she ain’t technically a prisoner, right?” Another man chirps in.

“Either way, I don’t see why she’s coming with us,” Says the first man. All of the remaining side conversations have come to a stop. All attention is on Soap, the man across from us, and myself.

“Captain’s orders,” Soap replies. Surely Price is listening to the conversation now that his name’s been dropped.

“He order you to watch after her too, or is that something you volunteered for?” I feel Soap grow tense next to me as his frustration builds.

“Was a mutual agreement,” he deflects again.

“Yeah right,” someone else chimes in. “Who would volunteer to look after a prisoner?”

“Well I don’t know,” the first man drawls out in a suggestive tone as though he’s putting some real thought into his response. “Take the bag off and I’ll tell you if I’d volunteer,” my blood runs cold from his comment and the air catches in my throat. He earns a couple of snickers from the surrounding men, but they’re quickly cut short.

“That’s enough,” Ghost's commanding voice booms through the van, reverberating through my chest and bouncing off the metal walls. Everyone freezes and the only noise that can be heard is the crunching sound of tires on gravel.

“Sorry sir,” The man responds, but Ghost doesn’t acknowledge him. An awkward silence fills the space for several long moments before a few quiet side conversations begin to fill the space once more. I don’t hear the man across me talk for almost the rest of the ride. Ghost’s sharp correction is enough to shut him up for a considerable amount of time. His men know better than anyone, not to piss him off.

Neither Soap nor Ghost says anything for the rest of the ride and I’m left to wonder about why he put a stop to the conversation. Sure, it made me extremely uncomfortable. But to the other men, it wasn’t more than mildly inappropriate. They say more crude things to each other every day without repercussion. So why would Ghost step in now? Why bother using his rank to stifle a meaningless conversation?

The rest of the ride is long and uncomfortable. My nerves are on edge now knowing how the men of this crew think of me like a piece of meat. I don’t know what I expected. I’m exhausted and all I want is to be able to fall asleep, but my heart is racing too fast and I feel like they might start talking about me again at any moment.

The entire time Soap and Ghost press into the sides of my body and while at first it was uncomfortable, I’m glad it’s the two of them rather than the other men in the van. The warmth from their bodies is strangely comforting – safe, almost.

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley imagine #cod ghost #ghost imagine #soap cod #soap x reader #ghost x reader #MW2 #COD MW2 #mw2 imagine #MWII #cod price

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boldlyvoid · 9 months ago

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Silk Chiffon (why wouldn't it be?)

Robin Buckley x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: Robin can read Nancy like her favourite book, it just takes her a few tries to get the translation right.

Warnings: coming out, demisexual Nancy, anxiety about the future ad regrets from the past. first kiss, love confessions

a/n: i know demisexuality wasn't coined till like 2004/2008 (depending on the source) but it just fits here and so I'm using it

word count: 2k

Robin can tell something is up. They’re trying to sleep, laying side by side in her twin bed, Robin facing her while she stares up at the ceiling. Eyes open, hands interlocked and laying on her stomach, her breathing is a little too fast. Like her thoughts are racing and therefore, her heart must be, too.

“Do you want to talk?” Robin whispers.

Nancy lets out a deep sigh, “no… but yes.”

“You can tell me anything,” she reminds her. After all they’ve been through, there’s nothing Robin can’t handle now.

“Can I ask you a question?”

She nods, “yeah, of course.”

She scoots a little closer to Nancy as she turns to face robin, inches from her face now, so her whispers can’t be heard by anyone else. “Are you… asexual?”

“What? No?” Robin’s absolutely shocked by that. “Why would you think I am?”

“Cause Steve hits on anything with a pulse and you’ve never gotten with him. You’re so adamant that you’re platonic with a capital P and he obviously would respect you if you turned him down but like… you guys don’t flirt. Steve flirts with everyone, but not you?” She explains, rambling a bit which is so unlike her.

“He did try and tell me he had a thing for me… when we were high, after the Russian’s… but I uh, I um, I’m—” she tries to swallow, to get some moisture back in her mouth. Terrified that this is where the friendship dies. This is why she never had sleepovers before. Telling someone the truth after spending so many nights side by side can only end one way. Disgust. Betrayal. Being kicked out and humiliated in the middle of the night.

“Robin,” she reaches out and soothes her hand over her shoulder and down her arm. “It’s okay.”

She takes a deep breath, nodding slightly. “I’m a lesbian.”

“That’s wonderful,” Nancy smiles at her. “I’m proud of you for telling me… I love that you trust me.”

Robin feels like crying but she doesn’t, she just lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding for so long, “thank you. Really.”

“How did you know?” Nancy asks. “Like, did you always know or did it sneak up on you?”

“Oh, I uh, I always knew,” she explains. “Like… when all the other girls were swooning over boys, I was so disgusted by it. My mom thought I was just a late bloomer but then, then I got a crush. I didn’t think it was a crush but the more I thought about it, the more I was so worried I was just obsessed with her. Like a freak.”

“That’s how I felt about Steve at first,” she explains. “But that’s just because I thought that was what you were supposed to do when you like someone.”

“Yeah, it feels so intense you just want to look at them and be near them and—and relate to them, so you become who they want to get closer to them and you lose a bit of yourself,” Robin rants. “I hate it. I wish someone would like me for me, that someone could see me for who I really am and stay who they really are and we can stay happy together.”

“I want that too,” she sighs.

“We’ll find it,” Robin gives her a little smile.

“Would it be okay for me to tell you a secret now?”

“Why wouldn't it be?”

“When I was touring the campus in Boston, mom went to find a payphone so she could call home and see if Holly was okay… I went to the store to get a sweater but I ended up finding all the textbooks for each course and—and I bought the book for the human sexualities class,” she explains. “And I read it all.”

“Can I read it next?” Robin asks, thinking nothing of it. Nancy loves to learn, there’s nothing wrong with that.

“Yeah, it’s just…” she bites her lip for a second. “Have you ever heard of demisexuality?”

She shakes her head, “no.”

“The way the book described it is basically someone who only develops sexual feelings for someone or enjoys and initiates sex with someone who they’re emotionally close with,” she explains.

“Makes sense,” Robin nods along. “So, is that why you asked if I’m asexual?”

She nods, “Yeah… and because I think that’s me.”

“Oh?”

“With Steve, the first time was so— not bad, but uncomfortable. I wanted to, at least I thought I did. I thought lying to your parents and going to a boy's house to drink beer and have your first time was such a normal teenage girl thing to do that I did it. But I didn’t enjoy myself—

“Most girls don’t the first time,” Robin validates her feelings. “I’m not saying you’re not demisexual, I’m just saying that’s normal.”

“I know it is, but… then I kept dating Steve. I did fall in love with him, he was a good friend to me and the sex did get better, which I know you don’t want to hear about but—

“I don’t mind,” she giggles slightly. “I always knew he wasn’t as good as he bragged to be.”

Nancy laughs too, “he was good. It just took me a while to initiate it and have fun and then there was Jonathan. It was so different with him, that first time was so good. It was months of building a friendship and an understanding that bubbled to the top and it was wonderful. But then it died. As we drifted apart, as he stopped being my best friend, the longer we weren’t together, the harder it was to keep loving him.”

Robin nods, “And that happened with Steve too?”

“No. No, it faded with Steve because of Jonathan. Like, I have a one-track mind when it comes to love and whoever my best friend is at the time is the only person I want to be with. And I hate myself for that,” she explains.

“You were also a teenage girl, I mean, you still are,” Robin talks her off the ledge. “You’re 18. You don’t need to have all the answers and be 100% perfect all the time. I mean there are adults in their 30s and 40s who cheat and ruin families all the time, you’re not like that. You have time to learn who you are and what you like and be truly loved. It’ll be okay.”

Nancy starts to cry a bit, “I don’t think it will…”

“Hey,” Robin moves in closer, pulling her in against her chest, she runs her hand over Nancy’s back. “You will. You are loved. Very loved.”

“That’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose this,” she whispers, her voice smaller than it’s ever been. She hugs Robin so close, “If I love you… if we get together just to go to different colleges and spend days not talking, it’ll dwindle and die like everything else and I can’t lose you. You’re my favourite friend I’ve had in a long time.”

“So that’s why you asked… cause if I was asexual we couldn’t hook up and you wouldn’t lose me,” Robin pieces it all together.

She just nods against her, “I have loved this time so much. I love how we talk about everything. I love how we can do nothing and still enjoy it because we're together. I love that life with you is so easy and fun and—and I just love you.”

Robin simply kisses the top of her head before resting her cheek against her, “I love you too… but unlike those two idiots, I’m not going to let the best girl I’ve ever known in my whole life just walk away. You’re going to get sick of me. I’m going to call you in Boston, and I’m going to come visit when I can, we’ll be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas and spring break and if you get a summer internship in Boston, I can come out there for the summer. If I get to love you, to really love you, I’m making it work for the long run.”

“Is Steve going to be okay with it?” She worries more.

Robin just laughs, “Yeah, seeing as he’s had to listen to me pine over you for months now, he knows. He’s okay… he has someone special of his own now. I’ll let him tell you who, but he’s okay. He’s moved on. We’re allowed to be happy.”

Nancy lets out a relieved laugh, holding Robin even tighter. “Oh my god, it feels so good to tell you. I have been thinking about this for weeks. Months maybe.”

“You have a killer poker face then,” Robin teases. “I thought you were so straight.”

“I did too,” Nancy whispers, adjusting her head so she’s closer to Robin’s throat. She gives her a little kiss, “Then I spent a week with you and something brewed and all I could think about was seeing you again, and talking to you again and kissing you to get you to shut up.”

Robin laughs, “Yeah, that’s one way to do it.”

Nancy straddles her, a knee on both sides of her hips, her arms wrapped around her middle, she keeps kissing the side of her neck. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“I’ve never been kissed before,” Robin admits. “I’ve never done anything, before… I’m not sure I’m ready to just jump into it, either.”

“I’m not ready for that either,” Nancy agrees, holding her tighter for a moment before she props herself up on her hands and leans over her. Her hair dangling down in Robin's face, she reaches up to push her hair back behind her ear. “But I would like to kiss you.”

“Please?” Robin all but begs.

Balancing on one hand, Nancy cups her face gently, rubbing her thumb over Robin’s cheek. She leans in slowly, savouring the moment, building anticipation before it happens.

One touch, 4 lips meet, one explosion, 2 lives better in an instant.

Suddenly, all at once, she understands the big bang. How something so small could create so much. She understands every love song and poem, every painting and sculpture… every depiction of the world from a lens of love and happiness and longing and belonging.

The kiss deepens, and she follows Nancy’s lead because she knows what she’s doing. Sure, she’s seen enough movies to get the gist of making out, but there’s something so different about experiencing it firsthand. The way her tongue feels so right against her own, how their lips move in tandem like they were programmed this way… how Nancy slips from her perch and rests her body weight on her and Robin's hands instinctively wrap around her and she holds her there.

Nancy brushes her hair back a few times, trying to get it out of Robin’s face and stop it from tickling her, but it keeps falling back down. Eventually, Robin misses the feel of her hand on her cheek, so she gathers Nancy’s hair in her hands and holds it as if her fist was a ponytail. To her surprise, Nancy just hums against her, thanking her while her tongue is in Robin's mouth.

She never wants this to end.

She could make out with Nancy for the rest of her life if she was allowed. They could never leave this bed again for all she cared. She would give up every early pleasure for Nancy’s.

When Nancy does eventually pull away, it’s just a millimetre before she rests her forehead against robins. She’s breathing just as deep as Robin, flushed and craving more but they said they wouldn’t. They can’t. It needs to be more special than in the middle of the night in the Wheeler’s house with people on either side of her walls and across the hall.

“I love you,” Nancy whispers.

“I love you,” she whispers right back. “There’s no getting rid of me now. You’re stuck with me, I hope you understand that.”

Nancy just giggles that beautiful giggle. “Good.”

General Taglist

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22

#nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ronance #ronance smut #ronance fluff #stranger things smut #robin buckley smut #nancy wheeler smut #ronance fanfic #ronance fanfiction #ronance imagine #ronance au #ronance fic #ronance endgame

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surftrips · 1 year ago

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butterflies — part six.

pairing: rafe cameron x female reader

summary: after returning home from college for the summer, y/n runs into rafe cameron and the two form an unlikely relationship.

word count: ~ 1000

a/n: i was listening to taylor swift’s lover album while writing this which will become very obvious towards the end haha. only a few more chapters left! masterlist.

Rafe’s not even sure how Emma came back into his life. He’s convinced one of his frat brothers saw him moping around and called her up, assuming (incorrectly) that he was still hung up on her.

In reality, Rafe was still trying to get over you and how everything went down. It wasn’t ideal, and he was miserable on most days, but he still believed that leaving you alone was the best thing he could’ve done.

That is, until he found out that Emma had been lying to him.

To backtrack, she had simply showed up at the golf course one day to announce that she was in town for the week.

“Emma? What are you doing here?” he had asked.

“My father’s here on business, thought I would tag along. Maybe see a familiar face… and I was right,” she winked.

Rafe could hardly believe it. Here was this girl who had broken his heart, reentering his life as he was going through yet another heartbreak.

But heartbreak makes one lonely, and it was unfair for him to refuse Emma’s company under the premise that he was “taken” by you, because he wasn’t. Rafe knew he had to move on eventually, he just wasn’t expecting to do it with his ex-girlfriend.

She’s only staying for a week, Rafe thought to himself. It’s totally fine that she’s sleeping over. And we’re going out to eat together. And people on the island are starting to speculate.

To make things clear, Rafe and Emma are not sleeping together. They’re not even holding hands. The furthest they’ve gotten is a side hug and the occasional hand brush, courtesy of Rafe’s boundary settings. He would probably die if you saw him and Emma out in public being touchy with each other. As for everyone else in town, he didn’t care who saw or what they thought.

Even after a month, you were still the only person in town he cared about.

Unfortunately for him, and maybe purposefully by Emma, one week became two. Two became three. Soon, she had her own place at the Cameron dinner table.

“So, are you like Rafe’s girlfriend now?” Wheezie asked Emma once.

Rafe coughed, “Oh, no-”

At the same time, Emma responded, “Actually, I was his girlfriend last semester. We just took a little break, didn’t we, Rafe?”

Emma smiled sweetly at Rafe, who, refusing to start any discourse in front of his family, simply nodded.

Sarah was frowning.

—

Later that night, Rafe revisited the conversation Emma had with Wheezie at the dinner table.

“Listen, Emma, I don’t know what we are or even what we’re doing right now, but I don’t think it’s dating. Do you?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think we’re just friends either. There’s too much history between us,” she said.

“But that’s just it,” Rafe sat up. “It’s too much history to get past, how are we supposed to just move on like nothing happened? How am I supposed to move on like you didn’t break my heart?”

“Rafe, I’m here now,” Emma said quietly. “I’m sorry I hurt you, you know I loved you.”

“Did you? Did you love me or did you love being with me?” Rafe’s voice was growing louder, he couldn’t help it. “Because when push came to shove, you didn’t fight for me. You let me go.”

“Look, are you talking about that guy you saw me with after the breakup? Because he meant nothing to me, he was just a rebound.”

“Great, like that makes me feel better. Emma, what are you really doing back here?” Rafe sighed.

“I missed you,” she murmured. “I didn’t actually expect to see you when I came here with my dad, but I really, really wanted to. And when I did, I was so happy, I didn’t know how to approach the situation. I just want to be back in your life.”

Rafe felt as though the universe was playing a trick on him. A few months ago, he would’ve hung on every last word that came from Emma’s lips. Now, they all sounded like empty promises and half-hearted lies.

“You deserve better,” was what you had told him at the beginning of the summer. He didn’t believe you then, but it seemed so much clearer now.

“Emma, I can’t do this again. You know it’s not going to end well,” Rafe began.

“Is this because of Y/N?” Emma interrupted.

“What? How do you know Y/N?” Rafe felt his heartbeat quickening at the mention of your name.

Emma stammered, “I-I heard Wheezie and Sarah talking about her.”

Now, Rafe knew Emma was lying. Ever since your fight, his sisters had been careful not to mention your name around the house.

“Please, no more lies.”

“Fine,” Emma’s features hardened. “She may or may not have called you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Anger was now radiating from Rafe. “When?”

“Like last week, I don’t know,” her voice trailed off.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was important!” she said defensively.

“It’s not up to you to decide what’s important and what’s not!” Rafe put his hands up to his face in frustration, looking around for his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m calling her back,” he said. “You should leave. Goodbye, Emma.”

“Rafe-”

“I’m serious. Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

The two were quiet for a moment. Rafe trying to stabilize his heart rate and Emma trying to gather her thoughts.

“Fine, I’ll leave. But can I ask you one last thing?” She looked on the verge of tears.

“Yeah.”

“Do you love her?”

Rafe used to think love was burning red: violently passionate, ready to explode at any given time. But he was wrong, it’s golden, like daylight.

“I think I do.”

And for the first time in a long time, he smiled, a real and true Rafe Cameron smile. The one that you had fallen in love with.

—

TAGLIST: @holy-macncheese-balls @everythingmarveltopgun @maybankslover @totallynotkaibiased @allsmilesreally7 @kys4-20 @golden-tangled-earphone @siesie2 @palmwinemami (let me know if you want to be added!)

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #obx #outer banks #obx x reader #obx imagine #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #rafe cameron x you #butterflies fic

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yourlocalartsonist · 1 year ago

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ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Eight

A/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OH MY GOD. I genuinely didn’t expect it to, chapter 8 was supposed to be way shorter but uh yk my brain didn’t like that apparatnly. So now it’s uh 10K words. I think it’s genuinely worth the wait and read tho so hey, alls well that ends well or something. I’m gonna try to be faster with updates now. I’m FAIRLY CERTAIN chapter nine will be much shorter or at least nothing crazy like 8 or 10k. But what I can guarantee is chapters 10-13 will most definitely be short and lead up to the grand arc finale of chapter 14. We’re getting pretty close to it and I’m literally vibrating from excitement but no spoilers. Anyway enjoy the chapter! :D

Credit to: @sweaterrat and @yosajaeofficial for being my beloved beta readers! This story wouldn’t be able to have the quality it does without them so please give them some love and check out their ROTTMNT stories too!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Chapter One

Disclaimer: Chapter involves depressive thoughts, mentions of bullying, depressed behavior, mentions of Kr*ng, PTSD behavior, violence, very lightly graphic description of injuries, blood, and curse words. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe!

Outside the window, you can make out a bird’s nest sat in one of the trees. It’s been here for a week now, perfectly timed with when I got back to a consistent school life. But lately, the mother’s been staying at the nest more often. I’m guessing they’ve got babies on the way, she’s probably incubating her eggs right now. I think I’ve gotten attached to them, that small family of robins. The parents are so dedicated, aren’t they? The mother especially, never leaving the nest unless absolutely necessary.

On the contrary to my peaceful view, the classroom is noisy, hectic, and cluttered. No real science work for today so everyone’s just doing their own thing. Very loudly. Jaiden and Zane are chatting and laughing with each other next to me. I think things are better between us, I still don’t really know where Jaiden and I stand right now but at least Zane seems fine with me. Though I won’t lie, I’ve been feeling more and more like a third wheel around them.

“Dude! I’m telling you, we have to play this game together! We’d have so much fun!”

“I already said I would, Jaiden! Man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh like this. Shame you’re letting such a pretty smile go to waste.”

“Yeah? Let’s hang out more often then and maybe I won’t do that.”

Like right now.

Lowkey, I’ve been feeling invisible around those two. Jaiden barely pays any attention to me, it’s as if Zane was their best friend instead of me! I mean, I know friends can drift apart, I definitely know. But still, I never imagined it would happen to us. I still don’t wanna believe that’s what’s happening. I wanna keep hope.

“And ironically, you’re being pretty quiet today, Salena. Did you two switch personalities or something?”

“You are weirdly quiet, actually. What’s up?”

Oh lookie, I’ve been acknowledged. “Nah, you guys don’t have to worry about me. Just lower on energy than usual.”

I went back to my routine of staring out the window like the main character in a music video. In the reflection, Zane was still watching me. With the way his eyes lingered, I had a feeling he’s not falling for my excuse.

Seems like Jaiden’s not too worried, though. “Oh, Zane! You wanna hear about this new skate park I found?” Just went right back at it with Zane. Who’s weirdly still staring at me.

“…Actually, I’m kinda hungry. Jaiden, you mind getting me a snack from the vending machine?”

“Huh? But I wouldn’t know what to get you. N-not that I don’t pay attention to what you like! But, you know… Salena has better taste in these things! She should go-”

“She always goes.”

“‘Cause she knows what she’s doing.”

“Jaiden.”

“Guys, it’s fine! It’s fine. I’ve got this.” I didn’t want them to fight again so I got up from my seat. “Be back soon.”

Jaiden gave me their most gleeful smile I’ve seen them make in a while. I think seeing them smile makes this gesture worthwhile. Even if it’s just for a little bit.

The walk to the vending machine shouldn’t have been long, it’s not super far away. But my legs dragged on forcing each step to be slower than the last. I feel guilty thinking like this but a part of me wants this dumb walk to go on forever. I can’t stand being near them and I don’t know why! It’s not like we’ve got bad blood, they’ve both been normal towards me since I came back. So why am I acting like this? I’m seriously starting to doubt Splinter’s theory of me not being the problem here…

I approached the machine, stopping as I heard a struggling voice in front of me.

“Argh! How’d she say these things worked again?”

His finger pressed against the glass, tracing the code for the snack he wanted. He tapped the buttons on the screen. Nothing happened. Scratching his head, he leaned forward to read the next instructions. Finally, he pulled out a dollar bill.

…Before proceeding to insert it in the wrong way. And taking it out. And inserting it back in. And repeating the process. I can feel my soul exiting my body from second-hand embarrassment.

I recognized the fluffy black hair. With a crooked smile, I pulled out my own wallet.

“You’re supposed to put it in this way.” I slid my bill into the slot, the granola bar he selected successfully being pushed down soon after. “Good to see you again.”

“Woah, cool!” He stared at the giant food box almost with a childlike wonder, pausing for a few minutes before turning to me. “And hey! Yeah, it’s really nice seeing you again, too.” His eyes remained locked for a while before he scrambled to hand me the bill he had. “Here! Let me pay you back-“

“No, no, no, don’t worry about it! Really! Consider it my apology for, um, last time.”

“Apology? I mean, you weren’t the one doing anything weird so I don’t think you’ve gotta apologize.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Casey Jones Jr. I was gonna introduce myself the first time we met but, you know.”

“Salena Moni! So, how’s everything holding up? You joined pretty late in the year so if you need any help reviewing stuff I’m more than happy to.”

“Oh, don’t worry! It’s actually going alright. Still technically my first time going to a real school, so it’s a little bit of a challenge but I already knew most of the material anyways. I didn’t have to catch up on much.”

“Wow, that is… remarkably impressive.” If only I handled transferring as well as this guy. “Wait, hold up, real school? Were you homeschooled?”

“You could… say that. My uncle taught me everything, he was the smartest person I knew! Just turns out it was literally everything.”

“Cool! I guess we can check grades off the box, then! So, is everyone being nice? Made any friends?”

I bit my lip as I received my answer in the form of his face freezing mid-speech. “W-well uh…”

Oh, you poor thing…

I guess he could read my face since he immediately tried reassuring me, as if he wasn’t the victim in this scenario. “I-I mean it’s not awful! A couple people were nice to me, including you! Sure, some are a little… hostile. But it’ll get better eventually.”

“Y-yeah! It definitely… definitely will.”

And cue the classic awkward silence that stars in any first conversation. A little overdue for this one now that I’m thinking about it.

I’m so conflicted. I know damn well he’s not gonna have the high school dream he’s probably imagining right now. No one does. I may not have been at this school for long, but I’ve been here long enough to know how the people are. April told me it gets even worse every year as cliques start getting established and people grow past the initial politeness. I’m glad she did, she never kept anything about high school from me no matter how bad it was. Nothing was in my control but at least I knew it was coming.

And here I am playing the exact opposite role for Casey. I hate giving people false hope, I hate it with a passion! But I’m supposed to, I think. In a situation like this I’m supposed to hype him up. Ignorance is bliss! Wouldn’t it just ruin his spirits if I broke the glass?

“Anyway, it was nice to meet you! I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Y-yep! Hope things get better for you soon!”

“Me too.”

Ugh, the guilt is eating me up! I’m acting like I’ve never told a lie in my life but it’s not that. It’s his pure mindset that’s completely fucking with my morality!

I know to keep my mouth shut, I do. I don’t want him to hate me like everyone else does. I haven’t met someone who’s been so nice to me in this stupid ass school before, I don’t want to ruin this chance now that I finally got it. Plus, he might not even believe me…

I watched him turn to walk away.

Fuck it, social norms are for losers!

“W-wait! Casey?” He turned back around and I nearly shit myself from fear. “So, don’t be mad but I may have um… lied about something?”

“Uh, sorry?”

I took a deep breath, bracing myself. “Well, here’s the deal. Things aren’t really gonna get better, sorry. Or, actually! I don’t mean that extremely literally, I guess...”

Focus on your hands, it’ll be okay. “Just… People here are mean. Really, really mean. You’re homeschooled, you’re new, and you’re nice. It’s a recipe for disaster here whether it’s today or even a year after you’ve settled in!”

I can’t even read his expression and get an idea of his reaction. He’s got a scary good poker face, I’m curious which relative taught him that one.

“Casey, please don’t take this the wrong way. I-I’m not saying any of it is your fault! Or that you need to change or do anything. I’m only saying this so you don’t have any… unrealistic expectations so to speak.”

God, his silence is more terrifying than anticipated.

So much so I couldn’t help letting out a quiet breath of relief when he finally did speak. “You know, you’re the first person here who’s told me that.”

“…Is that bad?”

“Not at all. All my family, they never got the chance to go to school. Hell, I didn’t think I’d have the opportunity. But here I am! First time in a new building with weird people and absolutely no clue what to expect. I’m usually good with surprises but this one is just so… different. Different is scary, you know?”

I nodded. I most definitely did know.

“Anyway, you’re right that people are just mean here. I don’t even know why, I mean, I’ve met my fair share of dicks before but at least they had good reasons! We were under so much stress… But that’s not what I hate. It’s the fact that any time I tell an adult, they say the same thing over and over again!”

“Let me guess.” I cleared my throat and enhanced the performance with my intoxicated Mrs. Doubtfire voice. “Just ignore them and give it time and it’ll magically fix itself ‘cause boredom beats bullies or some shit, right?”

“Yeah, exactly!” His laugh is like holding your parent’s hand when you’re getting the flu shot, it’s magical! “They say that to everyone, don’t they? God, what’s up with that? I’m so not used to adults lying to me.”

“Dude, what? You’re kidding, your whole community’s gotta be amazing if you’ve never been lied to by an adult.”

“Eh, more or less… Anyway, um, thank you. For telling me the truth. And the granola bar. I seriously owe you for this.”

…I take it back, Splinter might’ve actually been onto something.

I mean, he’s a little strange, I won’t lie about that. This is the first time I’ve heard someone actually be grateful for me telling the truth. In the past it either got me isolated or in huge trouble, depending on who I was honest with. Maybe this is why I’m so used to lying. I hate it but I’ve had to do it so much. I’ve never met someone who finally lets me relax about it, not until Casey Jr it seems.

Maybe he deserves me being a little braver for a change.

“Well, here’s a way you can repay me. By us being friends!”

…

This was a lot more epic in my head without his speechless pause. Maybe I got the vibe wrong-

“REALLY!? OMIGOSH! That would be so cool! I’ve literally been thinking about asking you the same thing ‘cause I keep wanting to talk to you but never run into you but now we can talk whenever we want, IT’LL BE GREAT!!!” Spoke too soon, he is literally shaking me by the shoulders. It feels unnatural not being on the other side of this scenario.

“Casey, my stomach doesn’t approve of this-“

“Sorry, sorry!” He finally stopped and allowed me to remember the pleasant feeling of absolute stillness. “I just can’t believe you actually wanna be friends with me!”

Still, his surprising enthusiasm gave me a good laugh. “Dude, it’s alright! It’s kinda more surprising you wanna be friends with me.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met in my entire life, anyone who’s friends with you is lucky to have you!”

Lucky to have me?

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, unexpected compliments go burn in a fire but also don’t leave, it actually feels really nice.

“Salena, are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”

“N-no, I mean, all I did was buy you a snack and tell you people are jerks. I’m not too sure I should be receiving the title of the ‘kindest person you’ve ever met’ and stuff.”

“O-oh yeah, you have a point.” He got a little flustered at that, despite it really being my fault for not being able to take compliments. “I don’t know, I mean, I still think you’re really cool. I’m just so happy you wanna be friends with me!”

He looked like a child on Christmas morning as I tippy-tapped my number into his phone. Come to think of it, I know I’ve definitely reacted excitedly towards certain people - or turtles, I should say - but having someone do it to me? Feels kinda nice.

I looked up at the clock. “Shit. We should probably head back to class before we get in trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. But hey,” his eyes closed as the corners delightfully wrinkled “it was great running into you again! Fate really wants us to be friends.”

He has a really nice smile.

“Funny how life works, ay?”

I skipped my way back to class, mind too deep in thought to realize how fast I went.

This guy, Casey Jones, he’s giving me certain vibes. I don’t mean the creepy, stalkerish, "I need to get the hell outta here” vibes. More like deja-vu. I can’t pin what exactly, but something about him feels so… foreign yet familiar. Homey, if you may. Like a nice, warm fire in mid-winter night. It’s really soothing.

And immediately I’m thrown into emotional whiplash as I went back inside the annoying ass classroom of teenage chaos. So much for soothing vibes. I plopped back in my desk as Zane slowly scanned me.

“You took a while. Did you get my snack?…”

…Fuck. “Sorry! I completely forgot!”

“How did you forget when it’s the literal reason you even left?” Jaiden doesn’t seem as chipper as before.

“I know, I’m so sorry. I got a bit distracted. Gimmie a sec, I’ll be right back-”

“No, wait! It’s fine, I’m not hungry anymore.”

“Really? Okay, suit yourself.” I shrugged, getting settled in again. He leaned closer to me, both confused and concerned.

“You seem happier right now. Did something good happen?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess! Just ran into a new friend.”

His face scrunched up, going back to chatting with Jaiden. I have no clue why he glared when I said that, I don’t think I said anything wrong or alarming. Honestly, bro has worse mood swings than I do. It's seriously annoying sometimes but whatever, they’ve gone back to their little bubble now so I shall go back to mine.

I pulled out my phone, greeted with Casey’s excited text already.

CJ: Hey! Not really doing anything in class so if you’re free too, text me back :D

Smiling, I let myself get engrossed in my phone, happily typing away. He’s a fun guy to talk to. His enthusiasm and bubbliness is a little surprising considering how borderline timid he seemed at first. Goes to show, never judge a book by its cover! I felt my mood lifting, less gloomier than before.

Until I remembered something he said.

“My uncle taught me everything, he was the smartest person I knew!”

Was?...

***

Ah, midnight. A time when the mentally sane and emotionally stable would be sleeping. Turns out I’m neither of those folks, I’ve got better things to do. I have weapons now but I’ve gotta actually practice using them if I don’t wanna render them useless. Besides, in bed or out here, I’m not falling asleep either way. At least this serves as a good distraction! And won’t give me a headache like my phone will.

The blades cut through the air as I twirled them, striking at an imaginary enemy soon after.

I try not to think about life when I’m training, it distracts me too much. Sometimes I feel like Casey’s the only thing making school bearable anymore. We don’t share any classes so we text more than talk but I don’t have to do any mental gymnastics to figure out how he views me. I’m still confused as hell if Jaiden likes me or hates me and have no damn clue what Zane’s deal is anymore. He keeps staring at me. More than usual. Sure, I could always sit there and ponder for hours on end what the fuck is going on, but I doubt even that’d get any results.

The sickles, however, do show results. They feel lighter, smoother, easier to duel. I’m getting faster with them and my arms don’t feel as broken after training anymore! It’s something I can lose myself in, track the improvement. It’s so much simpler than everything else.

It keeps my mind occupied. If I focus on them, I don’t think about anyone from school or anything bad that’s happening! Or at least, I usually don't. I guess I’m thinking about it now, though…

“Someone’s training hard.”

“AHH!!!”

Immediately I jerked to turn and held up a blade in defense. However, it turned out to be a false alarm as instead of some midnight mugger I expected to see, I’m greeted with a smirking blue idiot standing in front of me.

“Woah, hey! I come in peace!” The stupid bitch held his hands up, mocking me with his fake fear. “Been a while, huh?”

“Leo? Oh god, you scared me! Where did you even come from?”

“The better question would be: Where did you disappear to? We haven’t gone out in like a week! You kept leaving me on read when I texted you but seemed fine in the group chat. What gives?”

“…I forgor?”

“Really?” I could tell he wasn’t satisfied by my answer. “You just forgot to respond to me? Every single time?”

“W-well sorta. I mean, it’s nothing you did so please don’t take it personally! It’s with everyone. I’ve just been a little bad at responding to dms…” My social battery’s been so low lately I question if it’s even charged at all. “That’s entirely on me, though! I’m so sorry.”

He crossed his arms and looked me up and down. He’s doing that nonchalant poker face again, the one he does when he doesn’t wanna be read, otherwise he’s an open book.

“You know you can tell me if something’s up, right?”

I guess he also does that face when he’s trying to read someone else. “Yeah, I know. I’m alright. It’s just… I dunno, things are a little weird but it’s fine. It’s really nothing to worry about.”

He hummed in response. I don’t really think he bought it but his eyes eventually drifted to my weapons, dropping the topic regardless. He must not wanna push it.

“Sooo, sick weapons! Where’d you get ‘em?”

“Oh, these? Draxum gave them to me!”

He gagged, interrupting me. “You met Draxum? The sheep guy? Oh, poor you! Was he awful to deal with? I bet he was! You know, like always.”

“Oh come on, he wasn’t that bad! A little grouchy at first but in his defense, I caught him in the middle of his shift, so.”

“Please, sheep bitch doesn’t need a reason to be a jerk! He’s just an old cranky loser who spends his days yelling at kids and smuggling whatever mystic bullshit of the week he found from the Hidden City! It’s giving Oscar the Grouch, just missing the lemon. Oh wait, that’s ‘cause unlike Oscar, he doesn’t even have one single thing that makes him uncharacteristically happy!”

“Wow, angry aren’t we?” It’s rude to laugh, but I can’t help myself around this dork. He looks like a kid who got denied an Xbox when he crosses his arms like that. “Leo, be real. This is because he threw you off a roof, isn’t it?”

“You know!? I mean-“ He laughed, trying to hide his poorly made lie. “What? Of course not… Maybe just a little but that’s not important.”

Leo grumbled on with some incoherent noises for a minute, before cooling down and moving on from the “sheep bitch”.

“Ugh, well anyway, if you got it from that moron, they’re definitely mystic or something, right?”

“Oh, absolutely! They’re actually super cool, I mean-“ For a good five minutes I kept blabbering on and on about the sickles and how they function and all my progress that I didn’t notice Leo - bless his heart - trying and horrifically failing to pay attention. He doesn’t really hide it well when he spaces out.

“And they- Uh, Leo, you good?”

“…Would you be mad if I said I got like, none of that?”

I sighed but gave a gentle smile. I knew he had a short attention span so I can’t really act like it’s his fault I forgot about that.

“Actually, do you want me to just like… act it out instead? I think I’ve gotten pretty good at using these so I don’t mind showing instead of telling!”

He shrugged “Nothin’s stopping you. Go on, impress me!”

Well, nothing except my nerves. But hey, it’s just Leo. If I mess up, he’ll laugh with me a bit and then I’ll just retry. No real pressure around him. I could use a progress check right now, anyway.

“Aight, so we only know two out of who knows how many powers for these things, they’re the only two I’ve been practicing. First up!”

I spun them around, careful to not mess up my handling. My goal is to form blades strong enough to crack a dent through the concrete edge of this building. So the sickles need to be made out of metal or steel. I usually go with metal but I do actually wanna impress him and steel’s stronger. I aimed at the edge and swung my arm forward, the sickle shot through the air and sliced through the concrete like a knife to a cake.

“OH SHIT!”

“I got it!” He teleported to catch the flying solo sickle and came right back within a matter of seconds. Oh, what I’d give to experience never having to walk again.

“Sorry about that! They’ve never broken the edge like that before!”

“Sorry!? You’re not allowed to be sorry, that was so cool! It went clean through!” I’ve never seen him gush about something this way. I’ve gotta admit, it’s kind of adorable. “Okay, I’m hooked! What’s the other thing it can do?”

“Invisibility! But I can’t do it for long, at least not yet. I made progress, though! Went from only three seconds to five!”

“Wait, actually, back up a bit. I get that Baron Ass told you how the sickles work and blah blah blah, but how’d you learn how to fight with ‘em? Ya know, the non-mystic aspects.”

“Oh, YouTube tutorials at first. But honestly, sickle fighting is mid so I did a lot of improv, really.”

He chuckled and eventually lost to his giggles as if me saying that wasn’t completely justified. “Did you just call an ancient form of martial arts mid?”

“Stop judging me, I’m right! Sickles were improvised weapons. They’re good for the last resort, not the first choice!”

“I’m not judging, I’m not judging! Promise! I respect it, even!” He leaned against the roof’s edge, gradually collecting himself. “But if they’re that bad, why didn’t you ask for a different weapon? One that’s cooler and not ‘the last resort’?”

Oh boy, where to begin?

I then explained how I essentially found myself wrapped in some “chosen one” bullshit through the sickles. They still don’t work any time Barry touches them but are perfectly fine in my hands. It’d be pretty dumb to pass up these weapons for a different one, even if sickles aren’t the coolest thing to own. Although, he’s definitely acting like they are judging by how intensely his eyes are staring at them. They’re sparkling brighter than I thought eyes realistically could.

“Well, now I’m offended! Mystic mystery sickles that do all kinds of glowy stuff for you specifically? How could you not tell me about these sooner!? They’re so amazing!”

“I know, I’m real sorry, Leon.” He’s joking around, his tone’s too light to be mad. But I do still feel bad for accidentally ignoring him like that. “Anything I can do for you as an apology?”

“Well…” His smirk revealed that thing was the main reason he came here in the first place. “We could make up for the lost time and go on a run together tonight. It is a weekend so you’d still have tomorrow and the day after to rest up. But hey, that’s just an idea…”

It's Friday again. Just like the first time we did this.

He held out his hand as an offer and I took it with a grin. “You make a convincing argument.”

And off we went, dashing through the night. It’s a bit humid today so the wind from sprinting so fast is greatly appreciated. Not to mention my speed is so much better than before!

The daily restrictions of civil life can go suck my dick and feed my liver to their uncles ‘cause oh my god nothing beats this feeling! No one else is here, no one who could stop us! Sure, jumping off roofs isn’t the safest way to have fun, but everything else in my life is already so safe! I’m allowed to have this one thing, this one moment to be free.

I’m so distracted that I didn’t realize I’m actually giving Leo a run for his money this time! Hehe, run. God, I’m so funny.

“Looks like you can actually keep up with me now!”

“I know, right!? It feels fucking amazing!”

Judging from his mischievous ass face, I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut. “I don’t mean to burst your bubble but…”

A blue light appeared as a hole ripped in the sky and the lovely piece of shit went right through, appearing again somewhere way ahead of me. “I’m still faster!~”

“Hey! No portals allowed!”

“Uh, last time I checked, portalling is totally allowed.”

“Says who!?”

“Says me and I’m leader! Whatever leader says goes!”

To add insult to injury, he doesn’t just portal himself. As I’m trying to catch up to him mid-jump, the jackass opens a portal right under me, sending me back even further than I already was with no time to recover.

“Leo, you cheat!”

Bro’s giggling his ass off as he blinked in and out of sight. I’m no different with how sore my face is, so I can’t even pretend to be mad.

Instead, all I can do is try my best to speed up and catch up, plotting my revenge in the meantime. Easier said than done, that dude’s faster than the Flash right now since he’s, ya know, portalling. Doesn’t help that he keeps appearing right next to me every few minutes just to taunt me and disappear again.

A few minutes into our little cat and mouse game though, I lost track of him and he hadn’t shown up in a while to pester me. So, I started calling out his name, trying to look for him. You’d think it’d be easier to find a 5’5” giant, green turtle man but I guess they wouldn’t be ninjas if that were the case.

“Leo? Leo!? Le- Huh?”

I finally found him. But instead of the shit-eating grin he gave me earlier, he’s silent and still behind the edge of a roof, his back facing me. It’s starting to freak me out a little, he looks like he’s going fucking Blair Witch mode. No words, no witty remarks, nothing. Just ghostly staring at whatever the view is. Only thing I can see from here is a museum.

“Hey, Leon, you okay?”

“Shh!”

With his eyes still fixed up ahead, Leo took my hand and guided me forward. He eventually looked at me and nodded towards the street below us. Gazing in that direction, I saw a large purple truck with the logo of that one weird shoe store I browsed a few years ago. From what I’ve gathered these past few weeks, big trucks mean bad news.

But maybe that’s not what I should be focused on. Standing near the truck were two people, their skin an unnatural shade of purple. One’s large and brutish, the other tall and slender. They’ve got foot marks on their faces and flames on their bald heads. Exactly how Mikey described…

“The Foot Clan.”

He nodded. “I don’t understand, those guys were all turned into Krang during the invasion.”

Sorry, what? “You’re sure it was those two specifically? I haven’t heard about any cures or vaccines for the Krang victims on the news. It’d make headlines if there were.” I haven’t heard anything about them for a while now that I think about it.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He leaned closer to the edge, as close as he could get without getting caught. “They’re parked a street away from a museum, the hell are they up to now?”

I mimicked his actions, trying to hear the Foot people better. The slender one’s on the phone, sounding frustrated. He’s doing that whisper-yelling thing people do when they wanna be mad quietly to avoid societal shame.

“Yeesh, someone’s having a bad day.”

“You can hear them?” Why does he look so confused?

“Yeah, can’t you?”

Leo shook his head. “Whatever, what are they saying?”

I cocked my head to the side, spying in on their conversation.

His voice is scratchy, a little sore on my ears. “What do you mean you can’t get it off? Just bring the whole thing and hurry! We can’t risk alerting anyone!” Neither of us can tell what he’s referring to, unfortunately. The Foot dude avoids naming it.

I looked back at Leo scanning around for any clues. He stared at the back of the museum for a minute before his eyes widened. “I know where we are. It’s the Historical Society Museum. Donnie mentioned wanting to come here once.”

“I think I’ve heard of it. Isn’t there a lot of ancient stuff in there? Like, from centuries back?”

Nodded again. He’s being unnervingly quiet, considering it’s Leo. He stared at the clan, then at the museum, then back at the clan. He looked… scared. Scared in a way I’ve never seen him before. I felt my hand being subconsciously squeezed. I didn’t even notice he hadn’t let go in the first place.

…I have to help him.

I readied myself for whatever his idea was, no matter how outlandish or risky it may seem. “Alrighty, what’s the plan?”

“Right.” He hesitated, before gripping his katanas and turning back. “…The plan is for me to portal you home, kick some Foot ass, and pick you up so we can continue our run.”

WHAT!?

“What do you mean ‘portal me home!? I’m not leaving!” I was prepared for anything, but this!? “We just stumbled across the Foot Clan who are for some reason not freaky alien zombies and messing with ancient artifacts that do who knows what!”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m sending you home before your adrenaline junkie ass can do something stupid.”

“And what makes you think I’d do that!?”

He held up my scarred left arm and stared at me unimpressed.

“…Okay, that’s a low blow even for you.”

Though as much as I hate to admit it, he kind of has a point. I sighed. “Alright, tell me. If I leave, will you at least call your brothers to help you out?”

“Yes!”

“Leo.”

“Fine, I lied.” The steel fucking balls of- “But still! I’ll be okay! I’ve gone against them plenty of times before.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re invincible!”

Before I could say anything more, I heard the sound of a truck starting up. I looked down and Leo followed my line of sight to see the Foot getting ready to drive.

Shit, they’re getting away!

“Okay, okay! Listen, I promise, I promise I won’t run off on my own and do something dumb this time. Anything the leader says goes! Just please let me join!” I can’t leave him alone!

I could sense him debating on what to do. His eyes look so conflicted, there’s definitely more than what he’s telling me. Nevertheless, I’m not budging. I don’t wanna sit at home being useless and worry the entire time.

He took a deep breath in, and let out a loud sigh. He looked at me with a defeated smile. “I’m not getting rid of you, am I?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, fine, but you’re sticking close.”

Before I could celebrate too much, I felt the ground beneath me disappear into bright blue light. Not anything sudden, more gentle really. Even then, I felt disoriented with my feet going from firmly grounded to touching the air! Not to mention how light my whole body felt. Gravity did a complete 180 and I got flipped around, landing under the truck.

I nearly lost my grip but a hand on my back kept me in place long enough for me to recollect myself. Leo portalled us here.Well, obviously he did, it just caught me off guard again. It’s not really too bad going through his portals but it sure is a fucking trip when it’s unexpected. Either way, it got the job done.

They drove for quite a damn while. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience having to cling on to the bottom of a moving truck as the only scents to breathe in were that of oil and gasoline, but we probably looked super cool! My ears disagreed but oh well. They parked in front of a mall this time. Not just any mall, the fucking World Trade Center! We’re literally on the other side of the city, what on Earth could they need here?

I wanted to follow them in but Leo was against it. He said it’d be safer for us to spy from a distance for now so we went to the roof of a neighboring building, looking in at them. The Foot are on one of the higher floors, almost seeming like they’re scavenging for something.

Leo’s trying to figure out another way in for us. I still don’t understand why we didn’t just follow them. I know Leo’s not a total reckless nutcase or anything, but being this cautious felt a little unlike him.

“Hey, look, I don’t mean to shoot your own words back at you or anything. But you know you can tell me if something’s up, right?”

For a split second, he looked different. His eyes were dead, his lips shut and neutral. He stared at me but he looked so… lost. Empty.

And then his smile returned, face back to normal. Or at least what he convinced me was normal. I’m not so sure anymore. He flicked my forehead again. Even softer than the first time he did it. “Stop worrying so much! You’re gonna give yourself a chasm worse than Raph’s.”

I didn’t know how to take it from there. So I just watched him.

He eventually decided on portalling us into the building’s vent system. It’s a little cramped but was the only place we can eavesdrop without being immediately spotted. Though honestly, I don’t mind this one bit! I’m controlling the impulsive adrenaline ,however, he didn’t say shit about internal adrenaline! I can’t help it if stealth makes me giddy!

“Hehe! It’s like we’re in a movie!”

“Love your enthusiasm as always but remember to not get too caught up in it.”

I momentarily shoved my excitement to the side as we both tried listening in on the Foot Clan. The skinny dude, who I now know to be the Lieutenant, is barking orders at the rest of the soldiers scouting around while talking to the giant Brute.

“You disabled the cameras, correct? You know we can’t make it any harder for them!”

“Of course I did, it’s a no-brainer! Why’d ya have to ask it like that?” Woah, villain or not, his New Yorker accent is one to admire! “You know, sometimes I feel like you think I’m just stupid and nothin’ more.”

“Oh, don’t start now. Focus on finding good metal. The sooner we finish this the better.”

Hearing his raspy voice makes my own throat itch a little. I lightly clawed at it, trying to not make too much noise as I moved.

I leaned a little closer to Leo “What do you think they need metal for?”

“Not sure. Could be to make more soldiers or something? It’d be a cool upgrade from their paper soldiers.”

Leo’s tone seems a little lighter than before, I’m glad to hear him joke around again. “They could make paper soldiers?”

“Yeah! And they’re completely sentient, one of them even became besties with Raph! Anyway,” he pointed down at a handful of soldiers collecting metal artifacts “they’re probably trying to make those origami soldiers again with something stronger.”

“But how would you fold metal?”

“Beats me, Mikey would know more on this. He’s figuring out how to recreate whatever spell they used so we could get some help with patrolling. Word of advice though, salami origami does not work as a substitute.”

“No shit. Who’s bright idea was that?”

“...You don’t know him.” His guilty face says it all.

We were giggling a little too loudly, I suppose. One of the Foot dudes stopped and started listening for our voices again. He shrugged and moved on soon enough. I didn’t realize I was covering my mouth till I let myself breathe again.

“We should probably be a little quieter and take this stealth thing more seriously.”

I nodded in agreement. He’s not upset, honestly he’s struggling just as much as I am to choke down more giggles. It’s like we’re hiding under a blanket during a sleepover pretending we’re not awake in front of the parents and not in a likely life or death situation spying on the black-magic cult. I’m trying my best but it’s already hard enough to keep my adrenaline addiction in check and Leo being here makes it worse in the best ways possible.

Still, I don’t wanna know what happens if we get cau- What was that creaking sound?

CLANG!

It would seem those were not really sturdy vents.

You know that moment from the Ice Age sequel when the vultures surround the main cast with hungry, devilish eyes ready to feast on them at any given moment? Yeah, let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if the Foot Clan randomly bursts into song about “glorious food” full on broadway musical style.

“Uh… Hey, fellas! Long time no see, am I right?” Despite his demeanor, I caught the real reason he raised his hands. I reached back for mine as well.

A sheath of metal filled the air as Leo took his katanas out their case, perfectly timed with the Lieutenant’s new orders.

“GET THEM!”

“Run, hide first then get the stolen thingie if you can. I’ll keep ‘em busy!” Leo charged into the fight, holding them off to make sure they couldn’t get to me.

Unfortunately, there’s like a bajillion of them that can easily outnumber us. I’ve learned to be quite a slippery sprinter but even then two already managed to block my path.

Now would be a good time to turn invisible!

“Come on, come on!” I could barely get the sparks to even start spreading. Turns out stress is a huge fucking factor I neglected in my training.

I wouldn’t have minded if it just took a few seconds to work but the real issue was I couldn’t keep it working. I didn’t even really go invisible, just sorta flashed in and out of transparency for a few seconds! The only reason I haven’t gotten caught yet is ‘cause these two morons are too busy laughing at me.

“Is that really the best you can do!? Whoever you are, little girl, you’ve got your work cut out for you!”

“Oh no! She’s… she’s… blinking like an old flashlight!! We’re so scared!”

…BITC-

Resorted to traditional methods. I made the sickles the consistency of a metal pot and threw it at one of their heads, knocking them down. The other I kicked straight in the chest while they were distracted by their idiot teammate, also knocking them down. I’d love nothing more than to give some extra special attention to them but this old flashlight’s gotta run for the shadows while they’ve got an open chance.

A blue portal opened in front of me. “Hey Salena, so this fight’s a little more intense than I expected and I wanted to quickly check if you’re really sure about-”

“Leo, I’m fine! I’m not leaving mid-battle!”

“No, no, that’s fine! That’s great! Just a reminder there’s no shame in calling it- DUCK!”

Without hesitance, I dropped to the ground right as his sword swung above me to block one of the soldier’s attacks. Maybe I should let Leo handle this guy since I can’t really do much while laying on the floor. Then again, doesn't mean I can’t do anything. And also I don’t have good impulse control.

“OW!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?”

I bit on to his ankle as hard as I desired despite his pleading cries. I didn’t let go until Leo broke out of his shock and finally punched him unconscious. Fighting might actually be a really good way to get out my urges.

“Why-“

“Don’t. If it works, it works.”

I flashed a grin, got back on my feet, and bounced away. I need a better vantage point if I wanna find the stolen item, especially with the chaos over here. I quickly made my way up to the indoor balcony thingie. Terrance? The second floor? Whatever the fuck it is. I’ll have to admit, despite how absolutely pumped I’m feeling right now, it kinda feels nice getting away from the clusterfuck for a bit. I heard Leo still spamming all his dialogue options to keep the main two creeps occupied. Actually, I’m pretty sure I can see them from up here, too.

“So, you guys are looking great! Never thought I’d say this, but I am loving the old look making a return.” His hands did more tricks than usual, keeping his swords flowing like an intricate dance. There are multiple soldiers practically hounding him yet he’s fending them off almost gracefully.

“Can’t you stupid children stay out of our way for one night! There’s great evil being put on the hold right now for your antics!”

“Hey, speaking of evil, what’s with the normal amount of eyes? Not that I’m missing the other option but- GAH!”

And yet, even with Leo’s skilled moves, he’s struggling to keep up with the two leaders specifically. I deadass would’ve been slaughtered by now if I didn’t listen to him about hiding.

“We got some outside help. Now, stop askin’ annoying questions and maybe we’ll go easier on ya!” He swung his axe again, thankfully missing Leo.

I gotta wonder, from Mikey’s stories, they’ve fought the Foot Clan with ease several times in the past. Leo was doing fine just now, too. So why does it look like this could be his first time facing off the Lieutenant and Brute? Nobody’s perfect but I don’t think either of us expected him to lose his grace and become borderline clumsy against them.

Wait, no! Distractions! Leo can handle himself, I need to focus on my own task. Stolen thingie! But where the hell is it?

Just as I was about to think they left it in the truck like common sense would dictate, a soft, reflective red glow caught my eye. The moon was on my side tonight.

“There she is!”

Or maybe I was being too optimistic. In fairness, I should’ve known I couldn’t stay here for long.

It would be really fucking nice to turn invisible now. Sickles? No? Oh, okay, fuck me then I guess.

I hopped off the edge before they could reach me and slinked to the other side of the room, following the red gleam. Despite the sickles betraying me with horrific timing twice tonight, I got them to cover me long enough to reach the ruby ring the glow came from. The light bled past the folds of the drape covering their stolen prize. I lifted it to find a… weird mannequin bust? With arms. Decorated with several ornaments and jewelry including the ring. What the fuck are they using this for, a fashion show?

I flinched to the sound of a loud thud paired with Leo’s groan. Flipping my head behind me, I saw him cornered against a wall, swords shielding him from the Brute’s axes.

“Okay, either you two got a lot stronger or my body isn’t what it used to be.”

I gotta calm myself down, Leo’s a trained ninja and will likely be completely and totally fine! A tiny slip doesn’t mean inevitable doom!

…I hope.

I turned my attention back to the mannequin thing to mentally measure its size. I’m fairly certain it’ll fit inside my backpack, it’s not too big. Just gotta get it in now.

Another sound interrupted me. This time, it was loud metallic clanking off the floor. Leo’s katanas…

“On second thought, maybe it’s both.” His weapons were away from him, too far out of reach. His voice sounded weaker, arms wrapped around his torso.

Oh no.

Neither of them were holding back. As soon as he was down, they were practically hammering at him. His arms were up, defensively blocking his head. I’m supposed to stay away from this. I’m supposed to listen and focus on my task. But I can’t stop my body from turning when I see something like this happening.

He’s in the air now. I need to move. He’s being swung. I need to be faster.

“Let this be a lesson, turtle. Our battles have drastically changed.”

The window shattered from the force of his body.

“LEO!”

I don’t remember ever sprinting this fast, but I was out the window right after through the very hole he created. The height couldn’t scare me if it tried. My arm outstretched, I caught him with one hand and had my sickle in the other. Careful to not dare mess up my timing, it snatched onto a power line just as my blades turned to rubber, thick enough to not get us shocked from the voltage.

“N-nice… nice catch.”

“Thanks.” It’s harder to talk when I’m panting like a dog and trying to limit my shaking limbs.

His weight felt like it would rip my arms apart. I didn’t expect a giant muscular turtle to be light but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Still, some-fucking-how, I’m able to keep us both hanging from the wire, comprehending the fact that we’re not dead. Thank fuck for Raph forcing me to work out sessions.

“You, uh, you doing good up there? You’re breathing kinda heavily. Hey, heavily! Didn’t even mean to make that one!”

“Leo I will drop you.”

He convinced me to suffer a little longer and try to swing him, giving enough momentum for him to catch onto the side of the neighboring building. Then, I swung myself, Leo catching me to soften the landing. We scampered up to the roof, coincidentally the same one we were on a while ago.

“And literally back to square one. Fantastic.” He sighed, clearly annoyed by our failure. His attention quickly shifted once he noticed me rubbing my sore arms. “Hey, you okay? Want me to take a look at you?”

“Me? Take a look at yourself first, idiot!”

I’m not gonna pretend I’m not in pain, but it’s nothing close to the tragedies on his body currently. His arms are bruised and cut from the fight. One was actively bleeding with bits of glass still stuck in some places. Luckily it was the only fleshy place he took damage on, everything else was protected, albeit a little cracked.

“It’s… It’s fine. My shell took most of the hit, anyway.” This bitch. “Besides, I’ve got bigger things to worry about.”

Despite his condition, he started walking to the edge of the roof, heading back towards the WTC.

“Where the hell are you going?”

“To get my katanas back.”

“Oh, no, no, no, you are not going back in there! Can’t you just make new swords or something?”

“And help the foot by practically gifting them Hamato weapons?”

“You said they’re made from your magic! Shouldn’t that protect them from other people trying to use them?”

“I don’t know, we only learned about this ninpo stuff, like, last year! I don’t know enough to be sure nothing will happen if I leave them with the Foot. I’m not doing that.”

“Well, I can’t let you go back.” I stood in front of him to block his path. “We can figure something else out but you are not going back in there! Look at you, it’d be crazy!”

“I was crazy once-” My hand shut his stupid, smug mouth before he could complete the ritual.

“Leo, you were thrown out a window! You’re hurt!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! I’ve been through worse! I’m just gonna get my swords back, that’s all.” He put a hand on my shoulder and threw on a fake smile to comfort me. The blood is literally dripping down his arm as he did, defeating the point. I looked back at his eyes, not bothering to hide how furiously concerned I am. If I’m reading him right, he’s not oblivious to reality. He’s a medic, he knows it better than I do.

He took a shaky breath in. “Fine, you’re right that I’m a little hurt. But we can’t waste time patching me up, I need to get my swords! Rule number one of basic survival is never let the Foot come into possession with highly mystic material ever.”

“Then I’ll go while you take care of yourself.”

“NO!” His head perked up as his eyes grew wider. He tried saving his initial reaction. “No way, not happening. It’s a safer plan if I go in, I’m more used to them” Safer for us or for just me.

“And yet, you got beaten to a pulp, isolated from your weapons, thrown out a window, and are now bleeding with shards of glass sticking out your body. Did I miss anything?” He’s neglected himself all night being overly cocky and confident nothing bad would happen to him. That’s what’s led to him turning out like this! “They didn’t exactly go easy on you, Leo-”

“Then imagine what they’d do to you!”

His brows knit together, staring at me, not blinking. I guess my wish was granted since he finally stopped disguising his true fear.

“Salena, please. Stay here, I’m going in.”

I almost let him go. Almost.

Too bad for him, I yanked him by the mask tails and pulled his stunned face back to face me.

“Hey, wh-”

“Alright, listen. I know whoever these guys are, they’re dangerous as fuck. I know I’m nowhere near as skilled of a fighter as you and I probably never will be. And I know I am way in over my head about this. But none of that matters to me.”

He kept quiet. So I continued. “What matters is that I’m your friend. Friends don’t let each other jump into losing battles, okay? You’re hurt, Leo. Please, just let me help you.”

I looked up at the sky. The clouds are covering the moon now and should stay that way for a little while. I could take advantage of the newfound darkness.

I stood on the ledge, mentally preparing myself to reignite the flames. Sure, I talked big about being able to handle myself and whatnot but I’m just trying to fool myself into thinking I’m not scared. If I can keep myself level-headed and use my sickles, I’ll be able to stay invisible for a short bit. If I play my cards right, that should be all I need.

I felt a hand grab my wrist. Turning around, I readied myself to once again reassure Leo I’d be fine but stopped when he put something in my palm. I recognize them, they’re tanto knives.

“Hey.” His smile is forced but not disingenuous.

“You’ve got this.”

So off I went with the last little push I needed. The cool night air feels fantastically refreshing on my skin. Every leap leaves me more confident I’ll succeed. I have to. He needs someone he knows he can depend on.

I scouted around and found an open window to sneak back in through. Judging by how crazy strong these guys are, my best bet is the element of surprise and for these oversized lethal boomerangs to actually work in my favor. Which they hadn’t before. But nothing’s ever hopeless. The reflection off the moon was their main source of light, with the clouds hiding it now and my knowledge of the floor’s layout, I think I might have a working plan this time.

I rushed over to the balcony I was at previously, this time being more cautious of any look-outs. There were three of them up here so I’m glad I didn’t choose the reckless route. I took my sickles out my backpack, breathed in, and turned invisible. A little harder to do since my nerves haven’t completely disappeared but it’s going smoother than before.

I snuck up to the soldier at the back of the trio, covering his mouth and dragging him to the dark, knocking him out shortly after. His two buddies were a piece of cake after that, hit one with a blunt-force sickle and take the other by hand at the same time. No one noticed a thing.

With the balcony cleared, I reclaimed my little sighting spot and looked over the entire floor, making note of every nook and cranny I could hide in. The clan’s focus changed since last time, they’re trying to get out as fast as possible. Seems like they’re taking Leo’s katanas with them since Lieutenant Itchy McSore-Throat was holding onto them.

“All of you hurry up! We must get out of here!”

I spotted the stolen mannequin in the distance. It’s actually not too far and surprisingly not removed. The two leaders seem distracted by someone. Perfect timing. I crept down and started taking out some more soldiers, listening in to the conversation at the same time.

“What about getting all the mystic metal we can?” That’s a new voice.

“Forget the metal, we’ve got enough for today. We need to leave or that turtle will bring reinforcements!”

“Yeah, sure, whatever makes ya happy, boss.”

“You better not be questioning my authority.”

“Our authority, he means. We’ve had your type before, and they grew to be traitors. I suggest you don’t test the patience of the Foot ‘cause it’s growin’ thin.”

“Nice phrasing! Even if you shouldn’t have interrupted me.” I can’t tell if these two have workplace tension or workplace bromance anymore. “But he’s right. You’d do well to remember your place, rookie.”

“Hey, I wasn’t tryna question anything guys. Just sayin’ maybe we should’ve planned this better in case we got caught.”

“So you may be right. We’ll keep it in mind but work on your delivery when it comes to criticism. Now quickly, go join the others.”

“Can I at least hold the magic swords?”

“No.”

She grumbled and left through the door, likely exiting the building. Her attitude was a pleasant surprise. I’ll admit, I kinda assumed all the Foot soldiers had brain-numbing levels of obedience.

The clouds were clearing up, though. The moonlight brightened the room back up, I can’t use the darkness for cover much longer. Alas, if only I knew how to use my literal invisibility powers for longer than a few seconds but you know what? This is genuinely perfectly okay. I’ve taken out enough of them to only leave a few left standing, not to mention the majority of them are already out the building. I gotta take these freaks head on if I wanna get Leo’s swords. No more hide and seek.

I let the light illuminate me.

“Hey guys!~” I waved gleefully as the Foot idiots finally noticed my presence. “Remember me? Hope it hasn’t been too long.”

“You!” The Brute turned to me first. “You’re the Hamato ally from earlier!”

“What are you doing here! Why have you returned!”

“You sure have a way of asking questions that makes them feel like statements. Anyway, I’m here to collect something you stole from my friend.”

He gripped the swords as he scowled at me. I held my own sickles tighter.

“You foolish child! You leave us no choice but take you out permanently.”

“Oh, really now? You and what army.”

I scoffed when I caught his expression change. Everyone looked at each other, noting how very few of them are suddenly in the room. So distracted they barely noticed me going for my first blow.

He quickly got ready to block me with Leo’s weapon, absolutely bewildered when I only zoomed past him and sliced at the leg of another soldier behind him. It wasn’t too deep but poor guy was still rendered useless. I dashed to my left at another soldier, dodging his attack and punching right up his chin.

“What’s going on!? Those sickles were dull the last time she used ‘em!”

“They must be mystic…”

“Right you are, Lieutenant! I kept them dull on purpose, my mistake.”

I threw a tanto at a cultist’s shoulder.

“You threw Leo out a window. I think you can bear to see some blood.”

One by one, I went around the room, sprinting past anyone chasing after me and immobilizing anyone with their guard down. I got in a groove good enough to keep myself progressing along while getting out my rage. I wasn’t kidding before, I would’ve kept my blades dull again. I’m still careful to not do anything fatal but I’m not gonna be exactly merciful, either. They deserve this.

Fighting felt like dancing, gliding across the room in an energetic fashion. I’m not crazy enough to go for the Lieutenant or Brute which ended up being a plus for me. They was more than ready to protect themselves, but not their team. At last, I got them all exactly where I needed them.

Alright, stay calm. Turn invisible no matter what.

My sickles shone with a pink glow, allowing me to disappear from their sight. I scampered past them, reaching the bejeweled mannequin behind them. It feels a little different? But there isn’t any concrete proof for this so my brain’s just tricking me. Whatever, no time to lose. I shoved it in my bag, getting myself used to the weight, and aimed a sickle at his arm.

“Where’d she go!?”

“Stay alert! Don’t let her catch you off guard!”

A bit late for that buddy.

My blade sliced through, leaving a massive gash on his arm. He screamed and dropped Leo’s sword. I ran through, catching it just as I became visible again. I snatched the other one as quickly as possible and sprinted to create some distance.

I held my arm up to my face, making good use of the wraps’ built-in comms. “Leo! Heads up!”

I threw a katana out the window, smashing the glass as it flew outside. I stopped in my tracks with a smirk. I knew we won.

I dodged the last attacks of the night, accelerating faster than I realized I could go. “Well folks, this was quite a fun match! Hope to never see you again!” Blue light sparked across my body. I leapt in the air, gave a quick peace sign purely to piss ‘em off, and bid my farewell.

“Toodles~”

Teleportation isn’t actually too bad if you know it’s coming.

The cool night air returned on my skin. I was floating for a few seconds before crashing to the roof on my knees. I didn’t even care about the pain, I was too busy enjoying the hug I received for my success!

“I DID IT! I FUCKING DID IT! WOOHOO!!!”

“Celebrations later, escaping now! Come on!”

Leo dragged me up and pulled us through another portal.

***

“We are the champions!~

“Gone with the losers ‘cause we are the champions!”

I handed another slice of pizza to Leo, half the box pepperoni for him and the other half plain cheese for me. We already dropped off the mannequin back to the museum and I gave an anonymous tip to 911 so now we’re simply chilling on the roof singing to celebrate our victorious night. I’m honestly still hyper as hell over it.

“I can’t believe we actually did it! I can’t believe I actually did it! Salena one, Foot Clan NONE BABY, FUCK YEA!”

“Man, I am so happy you came out okay. You have no idea how relieved I was when I saw you again.” He bit into the cheese, the least stressed I’ve seen him all night.

I couldn’t realize it earlier but that hug he gave wasn’t for my success. It’s clear to me now.

“Leo?”

“Hm?” He looked towards me as he bit into the cheese.

“Thanks for trusting me.”

He mirrored my smile. “Hey, we’re friends, right? That’s what I’m here for.”

The spring breeze feels so sweet. The view of the city is rewarding as always. A safe city, a safe night. I can see why they’re so into this whole hero gig. Everything about this moment feels absolutely perfect.

Buzz! Buzz!

I swear to god if my fucking phone’s gonna ruin it again. I quickly checked the notif to see if it was anything important. To my surprise, it’s Jaiden.

They sent me a text. The first one in weeks. It’s a dumb meme I saw earlier today.

We used to do this a lot in the past. Whenever we got into a fight, it’d be our way of ending it. We could never stay mad at each other for more than a day. In the past at least.

I guess this means they’re not mad at me anymore.

“Everything okay?” Leo stared at me, probably concerned by my change in demeanor.

I double tapped to like Jaiden’s meme and put my phone away, going back to normal.

“It’s nothing important. Just, uh, highschool stuff. You wouldn’t get it.”

He laughed “Oh, okay, well. I know I’m too fabulous to be the average, uncool, normal teen guy doing normal teen things like going to highschool that you want right now but…”

“If you ever need someone to lend a shoulder, you know who to call.”

He’s an idiot, but a very sweet one when he wants to be.

“Thanks, Leo, but I mean it this time. It’s nothing.” I raised up my slice to request a toast of some sorts. “Let’s go back to celebrating, shall we?”

He let out a satisfied chuckle, returning my toast. I didn’t wanna let anything ruin the way I felt tonight, even if their text tainted the vibe a bit. But hey, it’s technically a win, too! I got my confirmation that Jaiden and I are indeed still friends.

Though I gotta admit, I’m not as happy as I thought I’d be.

Next Chapter

#save rottmnt #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt season 3 #rise of the turtles #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt x oc #oc x canon #rottmnt oc x canon #nickelodeon #rottmnt moths fly in packs

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a-little-unsteddie · 1 year ago

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Give Love a Chance || Original Post

the other day @ladykailitha posted something that just sparked so much joy, i decided i absolutely had to expand upon and write a full story abt it. idk how fast i’ll work on this, as my main focus currently is on the big bang fic, but i wanted to post a prologue/teaser of sorts. (side note: i am definitely stealing piratefishmama’s layout, shhh)

enjoy! -rowan

Steve wasn’t sure how he had gotten here, to be honest. Well, he did, but he didn’t know it would actually get this far. He would like to place the blame on either Dustin or Robin—or both, both was good, too. The point was, Steve was completely faultless in it.

When Steve got home earlier, after a long day at work, he had checked the mail, as he usually does. He saw a letter addressed to him, which, to be fair, makes sense, seeing as it was in his mailbox, but it was the sender that had surprised him. It had been several weeks—at least—since Robin and Dustin had cornered him and forced him to fill out an application to be a bachelor on Give Love a Chance, and he had honestly forgotten about it. He had only agreed to submit an application to the show because he had been so sure that he wasn’t going to make the cut. Who would want to watch a dumb reality love gameshow with Steve as the bachelor? A middle school guidance counselor with a five year old daughter?

Steve had still held that opinion even as he opened the envelope and pulled out the contents. The confidence in his thoughts only waned when he began to read the letter, his eyes had slowly widened and his mouth fell open. He reached for his cell, instinctually calling Robin as he reread the contents of the letter.

“Y’ello?”

“Did you seriously just answer with—nevermind. Robin tell me why the fuck I’m staring at a letter telling me I was chosen to be on Give Love a Chance?” He asked, pacing the length of his kitchen.

“Oh my God!” Robin shouted from his phone, causing Steve to wince and adjust his hearing aid. “Why do you sound upset? This is what you agreed to! This is why we sent in the application in the first place! This is great news!”

“Robin, you and I both know that I only agreed because I thought nothing would come of it.” Steve said flatly, checking the time on the stove. He still had twenty or so minutes before he needed to leave to grab Matilda from preschool. “I’m going to tell them I changed my mind.”

“Absolutely not! I’ll never forgive you. Dustin will never forgive you.”

“What? Am I supposed to just do the show?”

“Yes!” Robin said enthusiastically. Steve let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What am I going to do with Mattie, huh? I can’t just take her with me, she has school!”

“Dustin already told you that he and Will would take her in!”

“‘Take her in’? Rob, she isn’t a stray cat. She’s a whole tiny human.” Steve said with heavy exasperation. “He may have said that, but that doesn’t mean he will say the same thing now! There’s a difference between us joking about me getting accepted and the reality of taking care of a four year old!” Steve walked to the kitchen sink, filled himself a glass of tap water and set it to the side.

“So, we ask them again! I’m sure they’ll agree! You know they’ve been wanting to adopt! You can think of this as practice for them!”

Steve stared blankly out of the window above his kitchen sink, then groaned loudly and tipped his head back to glare at the ceiling.

“I don’t think I can leave her for the month—or more—it’ll take to film.” Steve admitted with a frown. He could immediately feel Robin’s shift in demeanor with the soft sigh she let out.

“Oh, dingus. You’ll be okay. We can video call her everyday while we're gone.” Robin said softly, trying to soothe him. “I think you should give it a go. You deserve to give love a chance.”

Steve let out a loud groan, which dissolved into a soft laugh. “You did not just say that.”

“I did.”

“That was so bad.”

“I know. But it’s true!”

“You’ll be with me?”

“Every step of the way.”

“..Fine.”

—x—

Dear Steve Harrington,

Congratulations! You have been selected as one of the bachelors to move forward into the next stage—interviewing and filming! We believe you are a perfect fit, and cannot wait to have you at our Los Angeles studio!

If you are still interested, please contact us via email to receive more details about what comes next.

Thank you,

Murray Bauman, Host of ‘Give Love a Chance’

#aaahhh #i’m nervous to post this #i have so many plans for this #hopefully it lives up to the prompt :P #give love a chance #glac #reality show au #love gameshow au #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #st #steve harrington x eddie munson #unsteddie writing #dustin henderson #will byers #dustin/will

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prettyinlimegreenboots · 4 months ago

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Taking Comfort (in Your Arms) - Chapter 13

November 1, 1943, 1200 Hours

Twenty-three days. 23 days without a word whether John, Gale, Benny, Brady, and the rest of the men were alive, sitting in a Stalag or killed in action. The longer the time went on, the hope Addie had felt those first few days slowly faded. She was constantly on the edge of her seat, waiting to hear something. At this point, she would have settled for word of their deaths, just to stop her mind from wandering, though that was exactly the last thing she wanted to hear. She couldn’t think about the what ifs. It had gotten to the point when she entered the command center, all she had to do was look at Croz and he would sadly shake his head.

Placing her coffee cup down on the table, she pushed back from the table, letting her head fall back with a sigh. Josie looked at her friend with concern as she sat across from her. “I won’t ask how you’re doing because I think I have a pretty good idea. But is there anything you need?”

“Word that he’s okay . . . is that too much to ask?” Pulling her head up, she looked over at Josie, biting her lip. “I mean the Germans have nothing better to do than to let us know who they’ve got in custody.”

Josie cracked a smile at that. “Glad your sarcasm hasn’t disappeared completely.”

“I am trying my best.” Addie smirked, shaking her head.

Josie sighed, feeling exactly how she felt, and nodded. “That’s all we can do - one foot in front of the other. Have you heard from Lydia or Anna lately?”

“Got a letter a few days ago from them. They were thinking of coming for Thanksgiving, just so we weren’t alone. I was thinking of writing them back and telling them to stay at their base - we’re going to be miserable so no use in bringing anyone else down with us.” Addie gave her best friend a look.

She bit her lip, watching Addie cautiously, worried for her despite her own pain. “Might not be a bad idea for them to come here - it’ll be nice to see them.”

“Did they put you up to this to gang up on me?” Addie shot her a wink, while her hand played with her napkin, avoiding Josie’s look.

Josie shrugged, a little too innocently. “Maybe . . .we’re just looking out for you Addie. We’re all a bit worried about you. What can we do?”

“Make the Germans give us the information on the boys would be a good start.” Addie bit her lip, another sigh escaping. “I just hate that we don’t have any information - I would think they would be screaming from the top of the mountains that they have our men in camps or even talking about prisoner exchanges. The silence is deafening and eerie.”

Josie sighed, not disagreeing with her best friend. “C’mon, let’s head back to the tower. I’ve heard that we’ve got visitors coming later on today.” Josie mentioned, knowing Addie’s attention would peak at that information.

Just like she predicted, after they left the table, Addie gave her a look. “What do you know about these visitors?”

“Word is that we’re getting another four forts being delivered. Kidd mentioned that some higher ups were supposed to be making a surprise visit here too.” Josie mentioned, slipping her hands into her jacket as they walked back.

Humming, Addie nodded, eyes scanned the airfield, smiling as she watched Meatball run around with Lemmons and his crew. Billy and Sammy, the two local boys, were eagerly throwing the tennis ball for Meatball to chase. “I’m going to go check with Ken to make sure he’s good with keeping Meatball for a bit longer. I’ll see you back up in the tower.”

Pausing, she watched Josie make her way towards the tower before turning and heading towards the commotion with a grin on her face. “Lemmons!”

“Hey Addie. Come to collect Meatball?” He grabbed a cloth, wiping the excess oil off his hands, grinning at her.

Shaking her head, watching Meatball lay down in the grass, tongue hanging out as he panted loudly. “Quite the opposite. Checking to see if you wanted to keep him for a bit longer? Looks like the boys are having fun with him.”

“You don’t know the half of it. I don’t know who is having more fun - Meatball or the boys?” Lemmons watched Meatball chase after the ball that Sammy had just thrown for him.

Addie giggled. “Well at least someone will sleep well tonight.”

Raising an eyebrow at her, Ken gave her a look. “You doing okay? Need someone to talk to?”

“Sick of waiting for news. Just wish the Germans would tell us if they’re lying in a field somewhere or relatively safe in a Stalag.” She shrugged, running a hand over her face with a loud sigh. “Sorry, that was harsh. Just want to know where our boys are.”

Ken pulled her into a side hug, as she laid her head on his shoulder. She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry. “Thanks, Ken. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling - you fix the planes that take our boys up and when they don’t come back . . .”

She left the sentence hanging as Ken nodded sadly. “I’m sure you and I have similar feelings on that. Definitely miss seeing the men around the base.”

“As soon as I hear anything, I’ll let you know.” She whispered, eyes on Meatball getting cuddles and rubs from the two boys. “Thank you for keeping an eye on Meatball. I’ll come grab him a little bit, if that’s okay?”

“Sounds good Addie.” He started to head back to the shed. “Addie?”

She paused, looking over her shoulder at him. “Yeah?”

“I’m here if you need anything. I know a lot of people have told you that but if you need anything, you just need to ask.” He said as she nodded and grinned, heading back to the Tower.

Climbing the stairs, she tilted her head back, sun warming her skin and the wind blowing her hair gently. Feeling the cool metal on her hand, she took a deep breath, reminding herself to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

November 25, 1943, 1400 Hours - Thanksgiving

The day was long, and it wasn’t even 1400 hours yet. Addie and Josie had spent a precious few hours with Anna and Lydia, who could only get a 24-hour pass to spend with them. The night before was spent dancing and drinking while the morning was subdued with the stark realization the boys wouldn’t be home anytime soon. Many tears were shed by Addie and Josie, to the annoyance of them both, tired of shedding tears with no news to accompany them.

Now she stood in line to get her Thanksgiving feast, wishing she was anywhere but there currently. Smiling weakly at the kitchen staff, she scanned the room looking for a vacant seat. A true smile crossed her lips when she spotted Rosie all alone.

Taking a seat at the table across from Rosie, she sighed. Unwrapping her silverware, she stared at the food on her plate for a moment. She longed for a true Thanksgiving dinner, real turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy like her mom used to make, not what the Air Force was attempting to pass as Thanksgiving dinner.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Addie.” Rosie nodded at her as she picked up her fork and started poking the food on her plate.

Giving him a sad smile, she nodded. “Happy Thanksgiving, Rosie. What have you been doing with your day off?”

“Played a bit of football with the boys earlier.” Rosie smiled. “We had a good game going. Probably will probably do another game after this if you want to come watch.”

Nodding, Addie agreed, taking a bite of her food. Not like there was anything else to do around base. “Sounds fun. Meatball and I will be in the crowd. What would you be doing if you were back home in New York?”

“Probably would’ve gone to the parade earlier then gone home and ma would’ve been cooking. The house would’ve smelt incredible. The entire family would’ve crowded into our apartment around all the mismatched tables and chairs.” Rosie’s grin didn’t disappear the entire time he was talking, obviously thinking about the previous Thanksgiving he had spent with family. “What about you?”

Addie took a sip of her water sighing. “Not sure . . . haven’t been back in the States since 1941 so not sure what I would be doing. Probably in the kitchen cooking, joking with my cousins. When I was younger, we’d go to my grandmother’s house - dad was one of five so the entire family would come together on Thanksgiving. The house would be so loud, all my cousins and siblings running throughout the house, my grandmother, aunts, and mom would be hanging out in the kitchen while all the guys crowded around the TV with whatever football game on. It was loud and happy.”

“Those are some good memories, Addie.” Rosie smiled brightly. “Sounds like a big family and lots of noise.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “You don’t know the half of it Rosie.”

Silence descended on the table as they both were lost in thought. “You know I never asked you, but do you have a sweetheart, Rosie?”

“If I had a sweetheart, Addie, do you think I would have mentioned her in the two months that I’ve been here?” Rosie raised an eyebrow at her as she grinned widely back.

Shrugging her shoulders, she had a glint in her eyes. “You’re a man of mystery, Rosie. It wouldn’t be hard for you to keep a girl quiet. Hell, half of the new recruits are scared to death of you . . .”

“Gotta keep them on their toes, Addie.” He chuckled. “As for the new recruits, if you look at them, you’d scare them too!”

Addie smirked, raising an eyebrow. “You haven’t heard the rumors?”

“No, what rumors?”

“That I’m a dropped-out ATA girl.” She grinned wickedly.

Rosie tilted his head, looking at her confused. “But you are a drop out ATA girl - why is that a rumor?”

“The rumor is that I got kicked out for crashing and burning a fort on a run.” She gave him a smirk. “Little do they know the actual reason I was kicked out . . . much more scandalous than that.”

Rosie chuckled. “That’s too funny. Have you talked or interacted with them much?”

“No, I hesitate to do so. Don’t want to get close to any of them and they go down like Bucky and Buck. I know Bucky would want me to and I know it’s wrong, but I can’t do it, Rosie.” She sighed, shaking her head, biting her lip. “I can’t say goodbye anymore.”

Nodding sorrowfully, Rosie looked at his friend. There was nothing he could say. He laid his hand down on the table, palm up allowing her to put hers on top, giving it a squeeze. “Have you flown lately?”

Shaking her head, she bit her lip. “No, haven’t been out old man Rivers’ in a bit. Need to get out there.”

“What if we go out there this afternoon?” Rosie asked, raising an eyebrow.

She perked up a bit, giving him a wearily look. “You want to go up with me? I would have thought you’d heard it from the boys that I scared them.”

“It would be my honor to go up with you, if you want to go up.” Rosie offered, watching her mull it over for a second.

Nodding, a grin slid across her lips. “Let’s go. I promise I won’t scare you like I did with Bucky and Buck.”

Within 45 minutes, Addie was behind a jeep, driving them towards old man Rivers’ house. The old man waved at the jollily as they drove towards the barn. Parking the jeep, she walked with a pep in her step towards the barn, throwing open the door happily. “Ta da! Rosie, may I introduce you to Daffodil? Daffodil, this is my friend Rosie.”

Rosie whistled as he walked around the brightly colored Tiger Moth. “You can go ahead and climb up into the co-pilot’s seat. I’ll be up as soon as I finish the checks.”

Soon she joined him up in the pilot's seat with a grin. Placing the headset on her head, she finished her checks before speaking in the headset. “You ready Rosie?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She grinned, hearing the excitement in his voice. “Amazing that you came all the way to England and just happened to find someone who had a spare Tiger Moth that let you fly it whenever you wanted.”

She laughed, starting the engine and starting to taxi it out of the barn. “It’s good to make friends in foreign allied countries, Rosie. Especially friends who just happen to have a spare plane we can joyride in.”

His laugh was caught in the wind as they went airborne. She pushed the plane higher, leveling out at 5,000 feet, she excitedly yelled at the feeling of being back in the air. “Anywhere in particular you want to go, Rosie?”

“I’m just along for the ride, Addie. You’re the pilot.” He replied back, his head on a swivel as he looked out of the open skies in front of them. “It’s different up here.”

“Yeah, you get to sit back and relax for once, Rosie. Just enjoy the flight and take in the sights.” She joked with him.

Settling back in her seat, Addie felt her shoulders relax as she pushed the Tiger Moth a bit more as she directed it towards Thorpes Abbott. As they flew, Addie pointed out points of interest to Rosie as they continued their flight. “We’re almost to Thorpes. Did you tell anyone we were going up?”

“No, I thought you did?” She laughed hearing the confusion in his voice. “Nope, Rosie. I told Harding you and I were going for a joyride but he’s the only one. I think Maddie is on the wireless today, so she’ll see us flying around.”

She saw the airfield in the distance and giggled to herself. “I know you’ve buzzed the tower in a fort before, but have you ever done it in a Tiger Moth?”

“Can’t say I have. But I’m sure you’ve done it a time or two.” He quipped back.

“Every single birthday since I was 13, most of them in a Tiger Moth. I buzzed this tower on my birthday with Bucky in the co-pilot’s seat, just before I scared Buck by stalling the engine.” She laughed, happy at thinking of the memories instead of being sad of them. “Get ready Rosie!”

Lining up Daffodil, she flew over the airfield once, seeing Lemmons and his crew cheering loudly at seeing her. She flew back around, lining the plane up, a grin tugging at her lips. “Let’s do this Rosie.”

And they buzzed the tower, both of them cheering, watching Harding, Josie, Crosby, and Kidd all hit the deck. Throwing her head back, Addie whooped and laughed at the feeling free for the first time since Bucky had gone down.

2000 Hours

Running her fingers through Meatball’s fur, she reread the words that she had written to Bucky. She had taken up writing to him, even though she had nowhere to send them. Just writing to him made her feel like he was still here with her.

My dearest John,

Happy Thanksgiving. God, I wish you were here and sitting beside me complaining about the lack of real turkey and mashed potatoes. But mostly, I wish you were here so I could cuddle with you and be grateful that you were safe and sound in my arms.

But alas, that’s not our current reality. I took Rosie up in Daffodil today and had a great time. It’s the first time I’ve been up since you went down and I think I needed it more than I thought I did. Despite not being back in the US, we had a pretty good day - a couple of the replacements started a football game and got the base out in droves to watch. The food was lackluster, but spirits were up. As soon as I’m done writing, I’m heading to the officer’s club with Blakely, Douglass, Croz, and Rosie for a drink.

I wish I had more to tell you, John, but I miss you. I miss your laugh and the little grins you’d shoot my way. I miss you randomly dropping by my desk in the mornings and the little kisses you’d give me. I miss the little notes you’d leave me, but those that I have I treasure more than you’d know.

Jack gave me your jacket and I’m going to be really honest, you’re probably not getting it back when you return. It’s mine now . . . though I may need you to wear it, so it regains your scent.

These last 47 days have been hard - I won’t lie. But I keep hope that you’re still alive, hopefully in a Stalag and relatively safe and warm.

Write to me, soon? Let me know you’re alive?

I love you, John.

Addie

December 5, 1943, 0800 Hours

Walking into the office, she flipped the lights on, the harshness causing her to groan. Getting to work making a pot of coffee, it was another twenty minutes before she sat at her desk. Looking at her calendar, she sighed with the lack of meetings scheduled, knowing the day would drag by slowly.

She felt like she was stuck and kept telling herself no news was good news. She still had hope that that particular day she would hear something, though the days had slipped by with no news of Bucky or Buck or DeMarco or any of the men that had gone down in October.

Addie was doing the best she could, which wasn’t all that great. She prayed her days would go by quickly so she could slip off to bed, where she tossed and turned. The girls had stopped asking questions weeks ago, Josie and Addie both shells of their former selves. She knew Bucky would be pissed if he saw her like this, but he wasn’t around, so she didn’t care much. She was utterly alone, left to battle each day by herself.

As she went to take a sip of the piping hot coffee, Harding threw open his door, causing her to jump in surprise, spilling coffee on her hand, causing her to cuss. “Addie, come with me.”

Something in her voice caused her not to question it and quickly followed him. Hurrying after him, they rushed down the stairs of the tower, making a quick walk to the command center. Not delaying, Harding threw open the door, calling out to Crosby, “what’s the news Croz?”

“You brought Addie?” Crosby called back, not seeing her standing behind him.

Harding cleared his throat, giving Crosby a very pointed look, pointing behind him. “Crosby, she’s here. What’s the news?”

“I just got a call from London with the new POW list.” Crosby grabbed the list he had hurriedly scrawled the names given. “Buck, Bucky, DeMarco, Brady, Murphy, Crank, and Hambone, along with all their crews, are all in the Stalag Luft III.”

For the first time since October 10, Addie felt like she could actually breathe. Her eyes went wide at that news. “They’re alive?”

“As of a week ago, yes. I asked for a report of the health of the men but they weren’t able to give me that information.” Crosby looked apologetic as her face fell slightly.

Sighing heavily, Addie felt the tears welled in her eyes. Feeling someone pull her into their side, she rested her head on their shoulder. Looking up, she smiled seeing Rosie and threw her arm around his side, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Crosby, is there any other news?”

“You got mail.” He handed over two envelopes, and she stepped forward, accepting the envelopes. “One is for Josie, can you make sure she gets it?”

Nodding, she flipped to the one addressed to her and couldn’t help the tears that escaped. A sob crept up, escaping her mouth. A steady stream of tears flowed down her face as she looked at the concerned faces around her. “It’s a letter from Bucky.”

The men surrounding her nodded. She gave them looks, backing out of the center, stumbling towards the runway to where the closest fort was parked. She sighed, fifty-seven days, since she heard from Bucky and now she had an envelope addressed to her in his handwriting. Once she was close enough, she sat against the tire, giving the envelope a glance before tearing into it.

Her eyes swept over the familiar scrawl, bits of it blacked out due to the sensors. Putting the paper to her nose, she breathed in the familiar scent that she had associated with Bucky - tobacco and sandalwood.

October 19, 1943

My dearest Addie,

I’m alive, Bluebird. I’m in —--------------- and I’m safe for the most part. I was a mess when I first arrived but after seeing the medic, I’m alright. Busted a rib and my eye socket is bruised but I’m alive, Bluebird. Buck’s here - met me at the gates with a “what the hell took you so long” and a grin. He’s in the next compound over but I see him daily - he sends his hellos and well wishes to you.

Tell Josie that DeMarco is here and he’s fine. I think he’s writing a letter to her but maybe not say that just in case. Send my regards to Meatball - I hope he’s keeping you company in my absence.

I know we didn’t leave on the best terms, and I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing for that, but I love you, Addie. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and it’s killing me that I’m not by your side right now.

I’m not quite sure where we are currently but I think we’re in —----------. The camp we’re in has —-----, —--------, —-------, and —----------. Most of the men here are Americans and for the most part, they treat us humanly. Could use an extra blanket or two but I’m doing alright. At least I’m with the rest of my men.

I wish I could kiss you senselessly and give you a big hug. I love you lots, Addie.

Yours,

John

Another sob escaped her mouth as she reread his words. She hoped he was that upbeat and not putting on a show in a letter just for her.

“Oh John.” Her heart broke all over again as she reread the letter, wishing more than anything that he was sitting beside her rather than 1,100 miles away from her.

She read it three more times before she sighed, the tension leaving her at the happy news. Despite the fact he wasn’t there with her, he was alive, and that’s all she had asked for the last 57 days.

December 15, 1943, 1700 Hours

“Addie, Harding wants you to go meet the group of pilots that are arriving on hard stand 4 in fifteen minutes.” Josie murmured to her, dropping a folder on her desk.

Picking up the folder, she flipped through it, looking wide-eyed at Josie. “I’ve never had to do it for any of the other pilots arriving here.”

“You went and met Rosie, remember?” Josie raised an eyebrow, grinning. “It’ll be just like that.”

Tossing the folder down on her desk, Addie wiped face. She wasn’t really in the mood to be the welcoming committee to anyone. “No, no it won’t be just like that. I won’t have Bucky teasing me.”

Sighing, Josie walked over to the other side of her desk, leaning over to give her a hug. “I know you don’t want to be your bubbly self, but these pilots are coming to the base and many of them don’t know what to expect. Just go welcome them, give them the lay of the land then you can curl up with Meatball. I’ll bring you dinner afterwards.”

Nodding, she sighed, pushing back from her desk to stand. “You okay keeping Meatball until I’m done?”

Looking over at the dog, passed out in his dog bed, Josie half-smiled. “Sure. I think he might be mad if you attempt to move him now.”

Slightly smiling, Addie nodded, grabbing the set of keys, pushing through the door, jogging down the stairs. Sighing, she climbed into the jeep, starting the engine, heading out to the hard stand. Parking, she watched the plane land, navigating to the hard stand, coming to a stop with the engine cutting off. She leaned against the jeep, watching the grounds crew, hurriedly put the chocks on the tires as a man dropped from the hatch.

Addie narrowed her eyes, something familiar about the way the man stood, looking around the field. Picking up his bag, his gaze fell to hers and she knew. She knew why that man looked so familiar.

Unable to do anything else, Addie bent at the waist, tears immediately welling up in her eyes as she cried.

It was her brother. Charlie was home. Standing tall, her hand flew to her mouth as tears continued to fall.

“Adelaide Baker!” He hollered, making his way towards her. Dropping his bag, he opened up his arms, eagerly waiting for her to run into them. He kissed her cheek, picking her up and spinning her around, just as he did when they were younger. “Oh how I have missed you.”

Waiting until her feet were back on the ground, she laughed happily, slapping his arm. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m home, they finally granted my request for transfer.” Charlie grinned. “I’m going to be a trainer here, no missions of my own.”

Giving him a look, she took in his words, a bright smile crossing her face. “You won’t be going up?”

“No, I’ll be working in the command center, assisting with building the missions but I won’t be a pilot. This is a promotion, believe it or not.” Charlie chuckled, shaking his head. “They asked me what base I wanted to be stationed at and this was the only one that came to mind.”

Throwing her arms around his shoulder, she laughed. “Oh, this is the best news I have heard in the last ten days.”

“Only in the last ten days? What was before that?” He asked, scratching his jaw, looking at his baby sister.

“We got word ten days ago that Bucky and Buck are POWs at a Stalag.” She looked at him, watching his eyes go wide at that news. He had made inquiries about them but had been told that was above his clearance and no one was willing to talk about them. “I got a letter from Bucky the same day letting me know him and Buck were safe.”

Charlie smiled. “Well ain’t that something. I’m glad you finally heard from him. I kept getting dead ends anytime I would inquire. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that was above my paygrade, I'd be rich and could retire.”

“I’m shocked you didn’t pick Anna’s base to go home to.” She smirked, finally happy that she could tease her brother about his not-so-secret girlfriend.

He threw his head back and laughed, loudly. “I thought about it for a minute but figured you’d need some family here. Besides, Anna’s the preferred B-17 pilot now for Thorpes, so she’ll be here plenty.”

“Hmm . . . you’re back in England for all of 48 hours and you’re already pulling strings.” Addie smirked at her brother as he started weakly protesting. “You know I’m right. Come on, I’ll give you the penny tour and show you where you’ll be staying.”

Leading him over to the jeep, she got in the driver’s seat, watching him throw his bag in the back before joining her. Shifting the jeep into gear, she drove them back towards the barracks. “Over there that’s the mess hall and my barrack is just to the left of it. Straight ahead is the barrack you’ll be in.”

Pulling the jeep to a stop, she grinned seeing Rosie and Crosby standing outside, eyeing her curiously. “Boys!”

“Addie.” They both called back, watching her hop out of the jeep and walk closer to them. “What brings you to our humble abode?”

“Boys, this is my older brother Charlie.” She grinned, looking over her shoulder at her brother. “Charlie, this is Robert Rosenthal, or Rosie and Harry Crosby. Rosie is a pilot and Crosby is group navigator on base. They’re also bunking here and can show you where everything is.”

The three of them exchanged handshakes in greeting as she grinned at the scene. “Josie mentioned there was a group of new pilots arriving today.”

“Yeah there were. I didn’t count how many arrived today but Charlie will be an instructor on base - not going up.” She grinned brightly at them, happy to have a piece of her family back on base.

Crosby whistled. “That’s great. Welcome to Thorpes, Charlie. I know this one is tampering her excitement down for the sake of looking cool.”

Slugging Crosby, Addie gave him a look. “Thanks for that Croz.”

“Just let us know if you want to know anything that’s happened over the last year since you’ve been gone, Charlie.” Crosby gave her brother a smirk.

Addie muttered a cuss under her breath. “Jeez, and to think I thought our friendship meant something. Willing to spill all my secrets as soon as my big brother arrives on base. Just remember Croz, I know where you sleep, and I know a few secrets of your own.”

“Damn, I forgot how scary you can be.” Rosie commented, looking between his two friends. “I’d watch what you say Croz.”

Charlie laughed. “Ahh she’s all talk with very little bite. Addie has always been that way.”

Addie looked between the three, shaking her head. She chuckled watching Crosby’s eyes go wide. “What’s wrong Crosby?”

“Just remembered what you did to Douglass to scare him after he slipped that supply request in your pile.” Crosby shook his head, while Addie threw her head back and laughed.

“Ahh, I forgot all about that.” She grinned. “That was my best revenge yet. That was legendary and kept the base on their toes for a few weeks.”

Charlie chuckled. “Is that where you dropped a box of rubbers and twinkies along with some feminine products?”

“Ahh so the boys already told you that story when they were in Africa, huh?” Addie smirked, shaking her head before looking between Rosie and Crosby. “Boys, can you show him an empty bunk? I’ll wait out here and we can head over to the mess together.” Rosie nodded, heading towards the barrack door with Charlie trailing behind him.

Leaning against the jeep, Addie smiled to herself. Things were finally turning around and for the first time since Bucky and Buck went down, she started to feel the hope creep back in.

December 25, 1943, 0900 hours

Groaning, she cracked open her eyes, seeing the bright light creep through the shades. Rolling over, she squinted, eyes wide when she realized it was 9am and she had slept in. Sighing, she pushed herself up into a sitting position, seeing the barrack was quiet, everyone up already and out of the hut.

Reaching over, she ran her hand through Meatball’s fur. “Merry Christmas, Meatball.” He groaned, rolling over onto his back so she could scratch his belly. She obliged him, both hands scratching as he hummed and groaned in happiness.

Swinging her legs off the bed, she looked at the locker that sat between hers and Josie’s bed. She hadn’t opened it since it was deposited there back in October. Easing off the bed, she sat in front of it, leaning forward to unlock it, pushing the top open. A thin layer of dust had settled over everything.

Reaching in, she moved his extra clothes to the side, seeing a stack of letters at the very bottom of the locker. Picking them up, she noticed most of them were addressed from Wisconsin, letters from his family. But at the very bottom was an envelope in his handwriting, with her name on it.

Without hesitation, she ran her finger under the flap, pulling out the piece of paper. She realized it was dated back in May 1943, right around the time she had first met him.

My dearest Addie,

I feel pretty stupid writing you this letter but I need to get this off my chest. You’ve been on my mind all day, might have gotten into trouble during the briefing due to my thoughts being on you instead of the observation mission. Might be just a tad sorry about that but not really, don’t tell Huglin.

It’s amazing that I’ve only known you for two weeks, yet I feel like I’ve known you all my life. And I don’t want you to stop being in my life. Never thought I’d come over to England and meet a girl that I want in my life for the rest of my life.

I probably will never give you this letter so I feel pretty comfortable writing this down - I think I’m in love with you. Yes, it’s only been two weeks but you’ve already knocked me on my ass and kept me on my toes at the same time. I’ve never met a girl like you before and I think that’s a good thing. Definitely cannot stop thinking about you, which could be a good or bad thing depending on the day. Also, you’re the first person (outside of Buck) that I want to rush to tell everything to.

Should probably wrap this up. Maybe I’ll give you this on our wedding day (if we make it that far).

Love you but not telling you quite yet.

John

Tears streamed down her face as she finished reading the letter. She knew he fell much sooner than she did but it was good to read his thoughts. Sighing, she leaned against her bed frame, letting her head fall back onto her bed. Meatball crawled over to her, his tongue licking away the tears that had fallen. Reaching behind her, she carted her fingers through his fur, patting his side in appreciation for being there for her.

Folding up the letter, she stuffed it back into the envelope, placing it back in the locker. Sighing, she shut the top of the locker, clicking the latches on it.

Pushing herself off the floor, she quickly got dressed, slipping on Bucky’s jacket before lacing up her shoes. Patting her leg for Meatball’s attention, she walked down the aisle of the hut, pushing open the door, allowing the dog to go out ahead of her. Shivering, she watched Meatball do his business before quickly walking over to the mess hut. Pulling open the door, she smiled at the warmth that wrapped around her as she searched the area for her friends and Charlie.

Making her way down the aisle, she stopped at a table that was in the middle of the hut. Charlie, Rosie, Crosby, Blakely, and Josie all sat around the table, each with a plate of food and a cup of coffee in front of them. Taking a seat in a chair, she greeted everyone with a cheerful “Merry Christmas.”

“About time you join us Addie.”

Sticking her tongue out at her older brother, Addie smirked. “I decided to sleep in this morning. Got the best Christmas present I could have asked for.”

“And what’s that?” Josie raised an eyebrow at the cheerful tone in Addie’s voice. Josie grinned brightly, seeing a glimpse of her best friend that she hadn’t seen in over 2 months.

Thanking the waiter for the cup of coffee, she smiled at the table. “Found a letter that Bucky had written me back in May. It was really sweet and made my day.”

“Back in May?” Josie looked at her friend. “That was before you two started dating, right?”

Picking up her coffee, she took a deep sip, nodding, smirking. “Yeah that was right after he arrived here on base. I still thought he was an arrogant flyboy - amazing how that has all changed.”

December 25, 1943

Dear John,

Merry Christmas, fly boy. Wish you were here instead of the stalag but I’ll take the fact you’re still alive as a Christmas miracle.

It was a pretty low key day today. Charlie, Josie, Crosby, Rosie, Blakely, Douglass and I hung out throughout the day and exchanged presents with one another. It was good not to be alone on an already tough day.

I’m going to admit something - I found a letter you wrote me back in May at the bottom of your locker and read it. It made my day and made me smile. It was the perfect unintentional Christmas present I could have asked for. I’m still holding out on walking down an aisle in a white dress towards you, Egan. Don’t let me down.

My Christmas wish for you is that you’re warm and safe and happy. Hopefully you and the boys found a bit of joy.

Love you with all my heart.

Addie.

Thank you for reading! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Anything you want to see in the upcoming chapters? I've got a loose outline planned so if there's something you want to see, just let me know! Also, sorry, there wasn't any Bucky or Buck in this chapter, but Addie needed a chapter of angst and hurt. Both Bucky and Buck will be back in next chapter.

Chapter 14

#addie + john #taking comfort in your arms #john egan fan fiction #john egan fanfiction #masters of the air fanfiction #mota fanfiction #john egan x oc

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hsvh-hp · 7 months ago

Note

Hi! Thanks for all the responses -- I hadn't realized how many chapters I'd gotten through since your last round until I saw the emails lmao

I was wondering, in regards to this:

And omg, I totally feel you on being a trans person in the HP fandom. It's very weird how my tumblr dash is set up. I have mutuals still from old fandoms who are queer, and I feel so ostracized from them at times when they toe the line of 'anybody in the HP fandom supports JKR, you're a bad person if you're still engaging with it'. I'll spare you the essay on why I disagree with that, but oddly the safest place I feel on the internet as a trans person is in the HP fandom. Which is weird at face value, I suppose, given what JKR is doing, but we really are separate from her. I've yet to see substantial evidence that fandom, which is infamous for generating zero revenue, is floating trans peoples' demise. It's just a thought crime, I guess.

if you would, perhaps, not spare me the essay? lol

I feel the same sort of ostracization which is especially frustrating when I am in such "thought crimes are fake!" circles, and I'm interested in your perspective, if you want to give it!

Sure, I’ll offer my perspective on it! This is probably best broken down into bullet points:

1. JKR was already a billionaire before she came out as a TERF.

There is nothing in the world that will change this status. Even if every single person currently engaging with her various IPs immediately dropped them, JKR would still have a billion plus dollars to drop on anti-trans movements and whatever. A billion dollars is immensely difficult to picture. The easiest way is to think like this: if you make $50,000 a year, the equivalent of her dropping $75,000 the other day is you spending $3.75. How often do you spend 0.0075% of your income and give it any thought? JKR’s wealth is not directly tied to ‘levels of fandom engagement’.

Which leads to…

2. Boycotts don’t work.

Sorry. They don’t. Not against someone this politically powerful. If they did, the flood of people out of the HP fandom in 2020 would have had a measurable effect. What did have a measurable effect? People not going to watch the Fantastic Beast movies (because they were hot trash lmao). Not giving JKR any more money works in the sense that it cripples her future projects, but it has zero effect on what’s already in her purse.

Also, think of boycotts this way: wasn’t it hilarious watching conservatives try to boycott the Barbie movie, Nike, Bud Light, and whatever else they’ve systematically locked on to? But so then why do progressives/the left/whoever think it’s going to work the other way? Like with Hogwarts Legacy? Just don’t interact with the media, dude. And if you do, pirate it.

3. Fandom is not mainstream. I have never seen any data to substantiate that participating in a fandom directly correlates to dollars for the IP. Copyright literally prevents that from happening. To bring up to popular saying, “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism”, fandom exists outside of capitalism—for me, at least, as a fan fiction writer. This is a hobby to me. I have never seen a red cent for any of the hours of work I’ve put into my fics.

And I can probably guarantee that no one has stumbled upon Harry Potter through me, lol. They didn’t read one of my fics and go, ‘you know, I should check out what source material this is coming from’. Harry Potter is so well-known that there’s no way they came in blind.

Also, the TERF discourse is very much an online thing. I work retail irl and I’ve had conversations with customers who’ll say “you know, I really don’t get all this hubbub against trans people” but are too boomer to be anything more than tangentially aware that Harry Potter is a Thing. Like, ‘oh yeah, my kids read those books when they were coming out, but I never bothered’. One of my employees bought a set of the HP books because they were on a wicked deal at Costco, and when we were discussing it I told her that while I still enjoyed HP, I wasn’t comfortable giving JKR more money because she’s extremely transphobic and donates a lot of money to anti-trans causes. My employee was horrified and said that had she known that, she wouldn’t have bought the books. Lots of people just don’t know!

Which takes me to…

4. This type of online activism isn’t effective.

I’m talking specifically about being anti-Harry Potter or anti-JKR. Falling into those two categories does not automatically make you pro-trans. This was pretty blatantly obvious back when the books were being burned for promoting witchcraft. As far as fighting for trans peoples’ rights, screaming until you’re blue in the face about how anybody who engages with Harry Potter is a traitor and JKR BAD is wasting time better spent doing something productive - something that could actually benefit trans people rather than…I don’t know…virtue signalling that their blog or twitter account is a safe space?

5. I personally do not feel welcomed or vouched for by these people.

Listen, I’m going to break myself down into all my stupid little categories. I’m trans. Autistic. Intersex. Aromantic. Asexual. Basically, all the things that people love to try and cast out of the queer community, whether that means they’re trying to split LGBTQIA+ at the T or Q.

The anti-Harry Potter stuff, as far as attacking the fandom, feels like the latest strain of purity politics to me. As I’ve laid out above, abandoning HP will not right the wrongs of JKR in any measurable or tangible way. Boycotts don’t work. Fandom does not feed JKR’s coffers, and destroying the fandom will not cripple her. There are trans people inside the HP fandom, and what of us? Are we traitors? Are we not ‘really’ trans, because obviously we don’t care about the current political climate? Are we just confused and need to be enlightened as to what harm we’re doing? Where have I heard this rhetoric before?

One small thing, tangentially related:

6. I don’t care what JKR says about how engaging with Harry Potter tells her about who her ‘supporters’ are.

Seriously? She’s a lying dirtbag, and I’m just supposed to take her word on this? This is the one thing she just so happens to be right about?

When she started spouting TERF shit, I was really saddened by the writers who, upon leaving the fandom, also deleted their works in protest. Seeing as the majority of the HP fandom is queer, I’m sure that JKR was very pleased with the amount of queer media erasure that occurred. Why did we do that for her?

7. I believe JKR actually seethes and malds over the prospect of her fandom being queer and producing queer content.

As a writer, there’s a special kind of pain that comes from someone not quite interpreting your work the way you would have wanted them to. What do you think JKR’s first reaction was when she first learned about the Harry/Draco ship? The Draco/Hermione ship? If she didn’t live in a stone castle, I bet she would’ve punched a hole in the wall.

So, yeah. Transing and gaying all of her characters is a pretty nice way to get to her in a way that she can’t legally or financially retaliate. Every time she screams ‘WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!’ at the queer people in her fandom, a trans person’s crops are watered.

8. The HP setting is very welcoming to trans people.

Potions exist that can change your body. Enough said.

That the Harry Potter books never really says anything specifically about trans people (NOTE: obviously JKR’s prejudices even back then showed through, but this isn’t about that) leaves the question on the table. Obviously trans people exist in the Harry Potter setting, because they exist everywhere. So, how did they never get any page time?

Well, who says they didn’t? In a setting where potions exist to change your body, trans people are just…people. I don’t even think that they would have a marginalized identity because gender dysphoria would be something very easily treated. Think of it like someone who takes medication for blood pressure. They need the medication, it’s life-saving, and while there isn’t a magical pill to ‘cure’ high blood pressure, it can be managed. The magical world revels in being strange. Why would being trans, while being considered strange here in the ‘Muggle’ world, be anything other than normal there? Why can’t it be?

And then there are Metamorphmagi. People who can literally change themselves at will! If that isn’t a trans person’s dream, I don’t know what is. I would personally love the option of being the biggest, hairiest dude with a dick so big an erection would make me black out, and then ultra femme and delicate the next.

Last on this point, Harry never notes anyone specifically trans in the text (NOTE: touching on things like the physical descriptions of Rita Skeeter and Marge Dursley, JKR tends to do the ugly=bad person thing. Although she describes Rita and Marge as mannish in appearance, they aren’t trans characters. They’re women that JKR wants to frame as bad people. Like I said above, this is JKR’s prejudice showing through). If Harry never notes anyone as specifically trans, that probably means that it’s impossible to tell at face value. The same as blood pressure medication, to return to that analogy. How do you know someone is on them? They tell you. You see the pill bottle and happen to know what that medication is for. They complain about side effects. They complain about the symptoms that led them going to the doctor in the first place.

9. Queer HP fandom content can potentially be how a Harry Potter fan realizes that they’re queer (or that queer people are just regular folks).

Hey, the first one happened to me!

If someone comes into the Harry Potter fandom unaware of JKR’s politics - maybe they were gifted the books for their birthday or happened to catch the movies on TV - it’s good actually that this person doesn’t fall right into an echo chamber of JKR’s politics. I’ll be happily here to correct her record in a way that isn’t shaming or policing them.

Anyway, I think that’s everything lol. To summarize:

- The HP Fandom is a neutral setting. Engaging with it doesn’t help JKR, and not engaging with it doesn’t help trans people. Just don’t spend money on official HP merch.

- If you want to be a pro-trans activist or trans political ally, please just ignore JKR and put all your focus on the real world.

- There are trans people in the HP fandom who are left feeling awkward and uncomfortable due to virtue signalling.

- Generating queer HP content is good, actually.

#harry potter #drarry #dramione #just because i mentioned them

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holocene-sims · 1 year ago

Text

next // previous

july 7, 2021 4:00 p.m. grant's house

[shannon] do you want to talk to them?

[grant] i don’t know. i mean, i would never talk to my mom, but...

[grant] people can change.

[shannon] grant...

[grant] i'm not good at being cold. some very sad and pitiful part of myself is hopeful that people aren’t as terrible as they seem to be.

[shannon] grant, they’re never going to love you. they’re never going to respect you. they’re never going to appreciate you for who you are.

[shannon] they didn’t bother when you needed authority figures to put dinner on the table or give you a lift to school in the mornings or pay any attention to you and your hobbies. so why would they do it now? why now when you need nothing from them?

[shannon] i'm no shrink or psychic or anything, but i feel it in my bones that they want to file you away so they can close out this tab in life and feel better about what they did to you. they don’t want to fix the problem. and if they did, i think they would have done it a long, long time ago, probably when you cut them out.

[shannon] and i'm so sorry. i'm genuinely really so sorry. your entire life, they’ve dangled, i don’t know, affection in front of you like a carrot on a stick and make it seem like you can catch it, but i don’t think you can.

[shannon] i know you want them to have a lightbulb moment and suddenly love you like they were supposed to, but...

[shannon] they’re going to fool you into trusting them because you’re a far better person than they could ever hope to be and then they’ll pull the rug out from underneath you.

[shannon] everyone always does.

[shannon] your own ex-fiancee, a decent girl, took advantage of you. what would stop the people who are a million times worse from doing it again? and unlike with her, you can predict it with them.

[grant] you’re right.

[grant] god, i literally feel insane. i'm not so stupid that i'm not skeptical of them reaching out, but i wish...

[shannon] ah now, you’re not insane. really, you’re very sane. the only way to survive in the world when you’ve seen the worst of it is to hope there’s good out there. it’s an admirable outlook. most people would be a lot more bitter than you in your position.

[grant] but i'm too nice.

[shannon] no, i'd not say that. it’s not about niceness but about boundaries. don’t be less nice, just...you know, put up a few more walls. and it’s not like it’s your fault that you are bad at that. it’s probably an attachment thing, right? your family is supposed to love you and when they don’t, i mean, you’re either going to turn out as someone who rejects or chases affection.

[grant] or both, if you’re me.

[shannon] yes. or both.

[shannon] i think you lean towards chasing but ironically, you are great at pushing people away when the mood strikes you to do it.

[grant] you don’t say.

[shannon] sure, i've never seen you ignore people so successfully that everyone thinks you’re dead.

[grant] i have gotten better about not doing that, in my defense.

[shannon] you have! still, the evidence of that behavior is around. you only talk to two people from your childhood that aren’t the family because you cut everyone else off.

[grant] i know. and i feel bad about it. i was just very embarrassed about talking to people at the height of my mental health crisis back in college. i didn’t want anyone to know.

[shannon] uhhh, they all already know, josie. everyone gossips.

[shannon] sorry! that sounded really mean, i didn’t mean it in a mean way, like.

[grant] you’re not wrong, though. i am perfectly aware that everyone whispers about me back home.

[shannon] you know who doesn’t gossip? the family in ireland and the towns they live in! no one cares about your personal business. you’ll be a free man while you’re there on holiday.

[shannon] well, actually, they are mad gossips and they do care about your personal business, but the atlantic ocean and general familial tact has protected them from knowing what you don’t want them to know, so it’ll be about other stuff! tolerable topics!

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 storytelling #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: shannon #hlcn: colm

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eepyartz · 10 months ago

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‘I just wanna be your brother..’

A/N: First oneshot

Warnings:Angst to Fluff , and some swearing

Relationship: Repairing familial bonds

Characters: Creek & Surge (Oc) , Floyd & Branch

Arguing, arguing is all you could hear from the forest, it was nothing unusual if you can call two trolls verbally insulting each other normal but, let’s be honest nothing is normal. Like some people say ‘You should always be there for family, no matter what happens’.But, these two..these two it’s probably a bit more complicated than that.

“How could you say such a thing!? Mom always loved us, she always loved you! You were just too much of a blunder to even be able to comprehend that she cared for you!” Creek yelled berating his younger brother with such anger , and a hint of guilt as he tried to hold out against his brother’s relentless attacks against him.

The bergens weren’t the only things trying to kill him, his own brother just relentlessly attacking him as he could barely block him. Surge was just too fast for him to even protect himself leaving creek with gashes,scratches,even bruises that haven’t gotten that bad just yet.

“Mother, never accepted me she did her damn best to keep us apart! She always had it out for me, couldn’t you see that? The look of disgust in her eyes? She always hated me when I was her daughter..even now as her son she still hates me, despises me, degrades and disregards me. Her own son creek. Please..i beg of you to see how cruel she was and still. Is.” Surge choked out like speaking between sobs through pain and suffering

“I may have not been a good girl or boy..but, at least let me be your brother again you were all i had creek..as a brother I thought you would understand but, that witch has you under the impression that I ruined our friendship” he says giving an glare that creek felt like was staring into his soul

He couldn’t do anything he stood there. Cornered , back against a tree with the sharp end of the wooden staff pointing right at his throat he lost.again he thought about how they used to be how close they used to be, for years he questioned what ruined it all maybe,maybe he was right all along.

“Maybe..maybe mom was right about me i bring ruin everywhere i go, the rambunctious son ruining everything..irresponsible” surge says just shaming himself

“And more importantly I remind her of what she hates..maybe I am the problem.” He adds before he slowly started trembling staring down at the ground to prevent creek seeing his vulnerable state

‘Surge..’

“Why am I trying to hurt you..? Why I i hate you so,much I just want you to be my brother..I only wanted you to be my brother again..a-and i can’t even achieve that..!” Surge says before he eventually the trembling of his body became too much causing him to lose his stance and grip on the staff

He fell to his knees and broke down in tears, continuously rubbing his face attempting to wipe the tears of his face that felt never ending to him.

The only thing creek could was just stare down at him watching him sobbing his heart out , he couldn’t help but feel a sting of guilt in his heart watching someone he cared about just breakdown in a way he’d never seen before..

Creek kneeled down to his height and embraced him for the first time in years since surge had ran away from home, he cradled his brother in his arms as if he was rocking him back and forth

Resting his head above his as he rubbed his back , as a way to comfort him. Its been so, long since they’ve been this close the only time he remembers this is when they were just children.

Soon enough he noticed the sobbing stopped before he looked down and saw he was fast asleep, he knew he should get some medical attention right about now but, he went back to what he was doing till he eventually fell fast asleep .

“Why did you bring him here- floyd!?” Branch questioned “Well, who else was i supposed to go to? It’s like they were unconscious! “ Floyd replied pacing back and forth around the bunker outside of the room the two brothers had been placed in.

“But, i did hear something like I’-

-m sorry..i am so, sorry..i really am.. i should’ve been there for you but, i wasn’t but I’m here now to tell you that “

‘I’m So, Sorry. . .’

~The End

Written eppyartz , Hope you enjoyed

Jan 8th,2024

#eppywritez📝#trolls floyd #trolls branch #trolls creek #Surge(oc)

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heyiwrotesomethings · 2 years ago

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Reunion

ShinoMitsu Week 2023 Day Four

A/N: I had more I could have added to this one, but as I’m writing this, I still have none of day five done so… maybe I could add another part later if enough people are interested? Day six is 2/3 done and day seven is just going to be a doodle cause I’ve got no ideas for the free day, nor time. Anyway, thanks for reading! Word Count: 2,317

Shinobu was exhausted. Having just got off of her shift at the hospital, all she wanted to do was collapse into her bed, but on her way home her mind wandered and she remembered that she had next to nothing in terms of food. That would teach her to keep putting off grocery shopping all week. If she wanted to make the most of her day off tomorrow, er, well, today, she supposed as she caught sight of the time, she had better stock up so she wouldn’t have to leave her apartment.

She parked her car in the twenty-four hour grocery lot, got a cart with an aggravatingly squeaky wheel, and then beelined for the pre-made frozen meals. Would she prefer a home cooked meal? Of course, but she didn’t have the time or energy to prep and cook for herself these days.

She rubbed at her eyes after tossing a couple instant ramen packages into her cart as well. Then she yawned so deeply that it shook her whole body. Maybe she should get some coffee and caffeinated tea while she was at it.

She rolled her cart down the aisle, head nodding. Her eyes drooped shut for but a moment…

Crrsshhh!

Shinobu’s eyes shot open and her head snapped up. She had just full on crashed into another shopper’s cart! Maybe she should call a driving service if she couldn’t even steer a cart without falling asleep.

“I am so sorry! My brain has totally left me it seems.”

“Oh, don’t worry it’s… Shinobu? Is that you?”

Shinobu rubbed her bleary eyes, blinking a couple times before her cart of junk came into focus. Then she looked to the cart she had run into, piled high with all manner of fresh vegetables and fruits, baking goods, a little bit of everything. Like a mini pantry of what you’d see on those cooking competition shows.

Then she finally brought her eyes to the woman on the other side of the vastly different carts. The pink-green hair was a dead giveaway and it hit Shinobu like a quadruple shot of espresso.

“Mitsuri?”

Mitsuri lit up, “Oh wow, I can’t believe it! I haven’t seen you since high school. How have you been?”

“Ah,” Shinobu stammered, still waking up apparently, “Mhm, yeah, I’ve been alright. I finished my internship abroad last year. Now I’m starting my residency at the local hospital. As you can probably tell, they’ve been raking me over the coals.” She chuckled uncomfortably, suddenly acutely aware of how disheveled she was. “But enough about me, what have you been up to?”

“I own a diner a couple streets down. Twenty-four hour breakfast and all manner of sugary treats!” Mitsuri beamed.

“That’s wonderful. I recall that owning your own restaurant was the goal after you finished culinary school. Congratulations.”

“Thank you! You should totally come by sometime. I’d love to catch up.“

“Yeah?” Shinobu tried to slow her thumping heart, “That sounds nice. I’d love that too.”

Mitsuri was as bright and cheerful as ever, even in a grocery store at almost two in the morning. Shinobu had thought she had finally gotten over her after all this time, but now she felt like she had been hit by Cupid’s grocery cart all over again. There had been a reason they had fallen out of touch beyond different time zones and busy, ever-shifting schedules. Shinobu just couldn’t take the heartache of falling for someone she couldn’t have and slipped away.

“So,” Shinobu cleared her throat, “Is that what you’re up to now, topping off your ingredients for the diner?”

“Uh, nope! These groceries are for personal use.” Mitsuri gave an awkward laugh. “Maybe I went a little overboard.”

“Not at all.” Shinobu quickly corrected. “When you’re cooking from scratch, you’re naturally going to have a fuller cart. It’s better than what I’ve got going on over here.” She gestured to her own cart and Mitsuri gasped when she saw the stack of cardboard boxes and instant ramen.

“Shinobu!” Mitsuri squeaked, “What do you think your doing with all of those?!”

“I don’t really have time to cook a whole meal for myself. Any time I can save for sleeping is worth it to me.” She replied a bit defensively.

“Even so!” Mitsuri huffed, “There’s no love in there! When was the last time you had a proper home cooked meal?”

“I don’t know,” Shinobu rubbed the back of her neck as she wracked her brain, “maybe when I visited my parents five or six months ago.”

“That’s half a year Shinobu!” Mitsuri blanched. “You’ve been eating like this non stop for half a year?!”

Actually, Shinobu had been eating like this ever since she finished her undergrad. Medical school and internships had left little room for spending extra time on making her own meals. Given the way Mitsuri was looking at her at the moment, she didn’t think it wise to tell her this.

“I get take-out sometimes too.” She shared instead.

“Okay, nononono,” Mitsuri shook her head and stepped around her cart to take Shinobu’s out of her slack hands, “Come on, we’re putting these back.”

“Mitsuri—“

“There are plenty of filling recipes that take about as much time to make as it takes to heat this junk up. I’ll steer you right, Shinobu!”

And Shinobu was powerless to stop her. She trailed after Mitsuri like a lost child as all of her go-to meals were shoved back into the freezers and replaced with ingredients that struck a surprising amount of fear into her. How long had it been since she cut and cooked an onion even? The level of intimidation she was feeling in this moment was palpable.

“Uh, Mitsuri, I don’t know if I’m suited for whatever you have in mind…”

“Hm? What do you mean, Shinobu? We used to cook together all the time when we were growing up, remember?”

“Yes, it’s just been awhile…” A very long while, “In all honesty, I’m not sure what you expect me to make with all of this.”

“That’s why I’m going to help you. You should really come over and crash at my place anyway since you’re already sleeping at the wheel so to speak.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I was going to call a ride share, I swear.” Shinobu unexpectedly felt a flutter of panic in her chest. “Besides, it’s so late and Obanai wouldn’t be expecting company, right?”

“Ah, you don’t have to be concerned about him.” Mitsuri said, suddenly drumming and dancing her fingers over the handlebar of Shinobu’s grocery cart as they walked back down the aisle to her abandoned cart, “We broke up a couple years ago. It’s just me and my cats now and they won’t mind a visitor.”

Choosing to ignore the mention of cats, Shinobu chose to focus on the surprising news of the high school sweethearts falling out of love, how did that happen?

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry I brought him up.”

“It’s okay,” Mitsuri assured, “It wasn’t an easy choice at the time, but I think we made the right call. We just sorta… grew apart. Wanted different things. We’re still best friends though.”

“I’m glad you still get along at least.” And she meant it too, even though a big part of her was rejoicing on the inside. She was acutely aware at how close they had been. She pretty much had a front row seat all throughout high school and having had a crush on Mitsuri since seventh grade, she really couldn’t blame herself for choosing to slowly fade out of Mitsuri’s life in the years that followed.

“Me too. So, any special someone in your life?”

“Nope.” There had been some dates, even one night stands, but romance and vulnerability came difficultly to Shinobu, especially when her heart still belonged to someone else who didn’t even know she had it.

“Geez, Shinobu, you really need a better work life balance.” Mitsuri shook her head disapprovingly, then smiled, touching Shinobu’s hand, “But I guess it’s a good thing. I don’t have to worry about stealing you away from someone waiting for you at home.”

“I suppose that is convenient.” She really wished her heart wasn’t threatening to beat out of her chest because of Mitsuri’s casual choice of words, but what could she do?

“Come on, let’s go check out. Hey, does your car have enough room for a bicycle?”

Shinobu often got a lot of teasing from her co-workers for driving a minivan when she had no spouse, kids or big pets that would justify such a big vehicle for one person. It suited her just fine, however. With how often she had to move around to further her education, the van was basically her second home and it made moving so much easier.

“Yeah, I’ve got room.”

They checked out their groceries and piled them into Shinobu’s van, along with Mitsuri’s bicycle. How Mitsuri was going to make it home with that many groceries on a bike of all things, Shinobu didn’t have to wonder. Mitsuri had always been incredibly strong, so she didn’t doubt that Mitsuri had done so several times before.

Mitsuri driving her car however, let’s just say Shinobu was not in danger of falling asleep with her behind the wheel.

“Sorry about the jerkiness. I pretty much bike everywhere. My driver’s license is still valid though, don’t worry!”

Fortunately Mitsuri didn’t live terribly far from the grocery store. She lived on the third floor of a cute little townhouse. The whole apartment smelled like baked apples and cinnamon sugar. It was so warm and cozy too. Just like that, Shinobu was in danger of falling asleep again.

“Home sweet home,” Mitsuri sighed pleasantly, sliding off her shoes, “please make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you.” Shinobu kicked off her shoes and hung her jacket beside Mitsuri’s on the rack.

“Mew.”

“Mroow.”

Oh no, Shinobu had forgotten what Mitsuri had said about cats. She stood awkwardly in the door way as the fluffiest cats she had ever seen slunk over. One white, one black.

“Hi kitties! Sorry for coming home so late. Let’s get you a snack too, shall we? You’ll be eating in my bedroom tonight.” She opened a cupboard in the kitchen that had the cats go from curiously sniffing at Shinobu to pawing Mitsuri’s legs in a matter of seconds. “The white one is Love Fluff and the Black one is Mr. Sooty Pants,” Mitsuri told Shinobu from over her shoulder. What dignified names. “I’ll make sure they leave you alone. You’re still allergic, right?”

“Yeah. Sorry for the trouble.”

“No trouble at all. I sometimes have to put them away when I’m in the kitchen anyway. They are sooo nosey. You should be safe sleeping in the guest room. I always keep the door closed unless I have company over or I’m cleaning.”

Ever so considerate. Shinobu could just melt. If this became a regular thing, she would definitely invest in some allergy medication.

“Okay, kitties are set up. Now a very, very early morning snack for us.” Mitsuri rolled up her sleeves and begin washing her hands.

Shinobu asked how she could help and Mitsuri directed her to put the groceries away. By the time she was done, Mitsuri had two yogurt and fruit parfaits sprinkled with granola and oats at the ready. Shinobu took one bite and visibly sunk into her chair. She had never taken recreational drugs, but she imagined this single bite of parfait was definitely comparable. The fresh berries paired with the smooth and creamy yogurt and the added crunch of the granola and oats was absolutely heavenly.

“Is it good?” Mitsuri giggled.

“Extremely.”

“Your poor tastebuds. I won’t rest until I’m sure they’ll never be neglected again!” Mitsuri nodded resolutely.

They spent a little more time talking as they ate, but soon retired for the night. Shinobu didn’t think she ever fell asleep as fast as she did in Mitsuri’s guest room. Not only that, but her slumber was restful too. When she woke up a later in the afternoon, she felt energized by the smells wafting from the kitchen.

“Good morning! Oh, wait, good afternoon!” Mitsuri greeted when she noticed Shinobu enter the kitchen, “I’m almost finished here. Take a seat and help yourself.”

“Wow, thank you Mitsuri, this all looks amazing.”

The counter was filled with hash browns, eggs, sweet and savory crepes, waffles, fruits, coffee and tea. Shinobu quickly filled her plate with a bit of everything.

“I hope you like it. Breakfast is kind of my specialty after all.” Mitsuri joined Shinobu at the table and began filling her own plate.

“It’s all very good, Mitsuri, really. Thank you so much for this.”

“You’re welcome! Eat up!”

Shinobu ate until she was fit to burst and then set to work on the dishes. She thought it was the least she could do far all the work Mitsuri had done. When the kitchen was cleaned, they moved to the living room to talk, catching up on all the goings on of the last decade. The more they talked, it was almost like no time had passed at all. Shinobu wished the day would never end, but it steadily grew later and after dinner, she forced herself to broach the subject of going home.

Mitsuri was disappointed that she had to leave, but after getting Shinobu’s phone number she seemed a lot happier.

“I’ll make sure we meet up again soon, Dr. Busy Bee,” she promised, “And I’ll send you all the recipes I had in mind when we picked your groceries. They’re super easy, I swear.”

“I trust you. Thank you again for today.” Shinobu really couldn’t thank Mitsuri enough. She accepted the taller girl’s hug and blushed when she received a kiss on the cheek for good measure.

#demon slayer oneshots #kny oneshots #shinomitsuweek2023 #shinomitsu #shinobu x mitsuri #shinobu kochou #shinobu kocho #mitsuri kanroji

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reorientation · 1 year ago

Note

Hormone dosage virgin here. I found this kink probably about 6 months ago. I’ve changed so much in that time. I’ve gone up, then I went back down on hormones. I almost got into an established relationship with a straight man (but things didn’t work out). I’ve talked to lots of Real Men in the last 6 months. They’ve all told me how important it is to embrace my true self. But I like your blog the most of all of them! ♥️

To be honest, the thought of a Real Man’s cock hasn’t left my brain. The thought of a Real Man fucking me and cumming inside my wet, tight virgin pussy is so good. It’s something I hadn’t even thought I wanted even just a year ago. In fact, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. I still liked men, but I didn’t wanna be fucked. But somewhere along the line, a fire got lit and it’s been building ever since. I am bisexual, thought I’d mention it.

You were right, I am a familiar type. I see it even scrolling through your blog. There are so many other girls just like me. Insatiably horny virgins with a purpose. I have you to thank for making me realize some things about myself. Thank you, Sir.

Last thing, before I end this anon. I have top surgery scheduled. What do you suggest I do?

- hormone dose girl ♥️

(Previously)

Pleased to hear you've been learning the most from me, cutie. It doesn't take so long for it to really settle into the depths of your mind, does it? Almost like it was just filling empty spaces that were always there.

You're a familiar type, but I always love seeing it. As testosterone is working its way into your body, the thought of being fucked bare by real men is working its way into your brain. Your desires are changing, and now, because of that testosterone you wanted so badly, they're burning.

For a lot of girls, it's a battle against herself: whether she can keep taking those shots of T in the thigh that will make her a "man", without spreading those thighs and taking the shot of cum that will make her a bred bitch.

But there are some smart girls, like you, who just give up the fight. Who realize that when they're dreaming of men coming in their pussies, they're thinking about something they could never do and something they could never escape.

I do hope you find another straight man to fuck you, Anon. You're a good girl and you deserve it.

As for top surgery... I think you know what my advice will be. Just look around: there are so many girls here who will tell you that they wish they still had their tits, who put on breastforms and stuffed bras just to pretend they never made that mistake. Hormones are mostly reversible: once you go off T, your body will heal itself to its natural state. But it won't fully heal from you losing your breasts - and from what one former FtM has said, it hurts to feel them try to grow like they're supposed to, once you've been bred.

So do the right thing and cancel your appointment. The day that you would have gotten your breasts cut off, you can stay home and play with them and imagine how they'll grow.

#reor: hormone dose anon #kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm detransition kink #ftm breeding #ftm girl

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strawberry-nugget · 2 years ago

Text

the void you fill

Pairing: Eijiro Kirishima / reader

Summary / author's note: shameless self ship fic that i wrote about a helpless situationship with kirishima

Warnings: angst, mentions of sex(kinda? they do have sex but its not that graphic), smoking. kirishima is kinda an asshole bc hes a libra man. All characters are over the age of 20, minors do not interact

Word count: 4 k

You've ghosted him for a month when your doorbell rings at 2 am on a Wednesday night. It's not like you count the days, but it's not like you don't either -because when the sudden sound makes you jump from your spot on your couch, almost causing you to drop your plate and all its fillings, you find yourself hoping, praying, that it's him.

You tell yourself that it's an atrocious thought at least, that he's a guy you got to spend time with, got attached, never even dated and now you have to get over, but your plate lays forgotten on your sofa nonetheless, bread crumbs and some of the oregano you've sprinkled on your yakitori, pooling all around the plate.

It's almost frightening to take the steps to your intercom, and a million thoughts run through your head at the speed of light -who could this be around such an hour, or even what would they want. For a second you think that maybe it's Kyouka or perhaps another friend of yours, that it's an emergency, but then that thought gets sucked into the back of your brain when you press the button of the intercom.

No one seems to answer and your heart is set at ease again. Maybe it's food delivery and they've gotten the name on the doorbell wrong. It happens, though not very often, but it never fails to give you a rush of anxiety.

And everything's fine, until it's not.

Everything's fine until the intercom buzzes again. Everything's fine until you realise that whoever rang your bell was indeed there for you and everything's fine until you almost fall to your knees when you hear the voice that calls back to you from the little speaker of your intercom.

"Heyy, it's me, Eijiro"

He speaks as if he doesn't have a single care in the whole world. As if he's so carefree and always kind, it's so typical of him that you almost forget it should be freezing outside. Is he ever cold? You wonder. You havent heard his voice in so long it almost sounds fake, like a dream. One like those youve been repeatedly having.

"Can I come in?"

"Ah sure I guess" -lies- you don't want him to come in, you want to be left alone, but your tongue is faster than your brain

"Floor?"

"Fifth"

…..

Kirishima fills a weird space in the void of your apartment. You're not quite sure he fits into place, too tall and bulky, too happy go lucky for the moodiness of everything that makes this house your home.

It's perhaps your first impression of him going through your door, barely fitting in doing so, or how he looked as dumb as a fish when he got out of the elevator, searching for your apartment at the right side of the elevator when he could clearly see you were -waiting with your front door almost all the way open- to the left.

You don't know why he's here and by the looks of it he doesn't either. He looks around a lot and you assume it's because of the new space that lies around him. Small house, not much to see, except for your posters and maybe the pile of cigarettes on the ashtray in the middle of your coffee table there's nothing that could give away your life -oh maybe the collection of beer cans by the sofa should be a candidate on that list as well.

"You're going through it" Is the first thing he utters to you and it feels like he's going to run away. You'd hate to be in his place. You've avoided being in his place for oh so long and now it's come to bite you in the ass.

"how do you have my address?"

"I asked jiro" And you're supposed to trust her after that. "I just really wanted to see you"

Kirishima wants and you give. It goes like this on the regular. On days you're not even feeling yourself, you end up wanting to reach out, to be human, to show that there's an ounce in you that cares for his well being more than you care about your stupid ego. And youre not quite sure you get your point across. tha t youre sweet. That you give when no one wants to take that your empathy is something everyone should admire and for that they shouldnt let you go.

Youre not even sure sweet old eijiro thinks of you as the angel youre trying to present yourself as, youre not sure he cares. You feel annoying most of the time. Wrapped up in feelings you shouldn't have, covered by a thick blanket of denial -eijiro doesn't want you, your friends say, or perhaps he does and he can't handle you- and you don't know what of these two is more confusing.

And him being here right now, feels surreal. Theres no clue that point to him caring about you and yet hes visiting you out of the blue, like its something that he does every single day, so casually and easily played.

Played.

The right word for it. Cause that's what youre being right now. Played. And even though you know it, nothing makes you want to kick him out. The longer he stays, the longer his smell will linger into your apartment, and maybe that will even stop you from smocking. The sullen sulking in your living room, wrapped in your fleece blanket, crying your heart out over the man that stands before you this very second. Youve already pictured it.

“Why did you want to see me?”

He doest reply directly, only because he sees you fidget with your fingers -he knows youre nervous, hes nervous too- and he knows youre looking for your pack of tobacco. So its a notice more than a sentence thats nicely worded when he opens his mouth to say “well i was wondering how youve been”

Your heart sinks a little by the time theres a filter tip stuck between your lips. He could have texted. Its been so long. He could have called or texted if he wanted to show you that cares. Hell, he could have announced he was on his way to your house in some kind of way so you wouldnt have to go through this right now. Yet there's joy and emotional fulfillment at the thought of him taking this extreme measure.

“Ive been good, thanks” your reply dryly and he chuckles again

“Well I'm not a random off the street. Elaborate.”

“Ive been doing great. Drowning in homework but otherwise ive been well”

He looks at you and then he looks around. Theres a sunken misery in your space that he cant quite name. A hint of him being unwanted, youd like to think that thats the vibe your emitting and if its not, you hope the first drag of your cigarette takes your thoughts away. But nothing shut your brain down.

“I see that” he says and his lips run to the side of his face “you shouldnt smoke inside”

Now its you who wont reply, not out of spite, but just because you lack the courage to stand up and tell him you just cant find the strength to walk to your balcony. How could he ever understand that at the mention of his name your legs go numb and your heart palpitates? How could he know that and not run away?

Its best he doesnt know.

That it's over bearing being in the same room as him, now that he’s not touching you , now that hes not placing chaste kisses on the insides of your wrists. Now that things have grown so complicated that you dont know how to act.

You dont even look at him. Not when you dust off your cigarette at the ashtray, not when take another drag with your head facing your ceiling- maybe now he knows hes over bearing. A burden to your heart. Someone you should have never met because this is so fucking awkward.

From the other side of your couch he cant take his eyes off of you, though, he doesn't seem to want to talk. With one cheek painfully red and the other trying to catch up, his movements look like they're in slow motion until he sees you put out your cigarette. You wouldn't pressure him to talk, you wouldn't pressure him to even stand in the same room as you if that was something you could do.

You tell yourself a man like kirishima doesnt know how to act. Hes fun to hang out with -or so youve been told- hes smart, hes effortlessly cute and-

“Im sorry i pulled away” and he apologizes too much for things he chooses to do. “Ive been swamped with chores and life has been killing me lately, i couldnt possibly find time to message you on the regular. Theres been so much that i had to do and im so sorry if you fet like im an asshole. I probably am.”

Your bad side wishes its him appreciating how good of a person you are, that his guilt is eating him. But it also tells youthat you mean absolutely nothing to him for him to feel this way.

Then why is he here?

Why are you letting him in?

Because theres not a bone of critical thinking in this body of yours when youre in love. And following an unfortunate series of events youve come to the conclusion that youre in love with him.

“You dont have to apologize for things you knowingly do.” you say nonetheless and there's a voice in you that cheers you up for that. Youre a big girl who can stand up on her feet

Him, in turn, is out of words, and when enough time passes by you go for rolling another smoke. Maybe its because you dont wanna fidget anymore, or because you cant be even more nervous, or even because you want him to care; he does- he takes the tobacco off your hands, gently, and his fingers touch your so featherly that you barely even feel them. And theres no electricity, no big thunderous moment that makes you stop and stare into the eternity of his eyes. Yheres familiarity. Comfort. The sole thing that made you fall for him more than anything else. His touch feels natural on you.

Maybe thats his way of showing you he cares. Showing up here unexpectedly, subtly trying to check on your health.

“Are you eating properly?” he asks next, like theres a sack of questions and hes pulling them out one by one. No context whatsoever.

“Im doing the best i can”

“Uhh, want me to uh, cook for you?”

He looks around again and smiles nervously, spasmodically. Like his cheeks cant make any movements on command. And you look away from him as you imagine what itd be like to take another drag of a cigarette right now.

“Why do you care so much?”

“Youre uh, human i guess” he mutters, unsure of how you’ll take this response. Hes said so many shitty things tonight, you probably dont even have to give him any more answers

Youre silent again, uncomfortably silent, sitting on your very small corner on your own couch, curled up so you wont take space, pointing your whole body away from his so you wont violently enter his field of vision, so you wont bother or annoy him. Youre fine as long as he doest catch up to your tactics, you tell yoursel, but if he doesnt then that means he doesnt care about you, ad if he does your anger will only ever boil more in the pit in your stomach.

You only look at him again when he gets up; its only then that words leave your mouth, because you havent thought them over, the blurt our of you like vomit

“Youre leaving?”

“I uhm, wanted to… cook…”

“You dont have to cook”

“Then should i leave?” he asks and looks at you, as if youre supposed to have a default reply to that. Like you know whether you want him to stay or not

“I- i dont really have an answer for that” you sigh, in the time hes taken to get up youve already rolled a cigarette, youve already started smoking it as well “i dont mind”

“Its a simple question. Do you want me to stay, or do you want me to go?” the slight temper in his tone is painted on his cheeks, in red, like his hair, like the details on his shirt. Its cute- you think, to have another chance to see him like this, especially when he huffs, frustrated, embarrassed to be in the position that hes in.

You never would have guessed your next meeting would go like that. Itll be entertaining to look back to this moment when youre over him. Yet for now your heart is set on beating at the speed of light at the sight of him walking to where hes taken off his shoes.

“Stay” you mutter, embarrassed just like him, with smoke coming our of your mouth; you must look horrendous, funny even and even though you doubt he ever heard you, you dont miss the way he looks at you, with one shoe in his hand, before he drops it and walks to his side of the couch again.

“We could watch a movie” he suggests as hes sitting down “would you like that?”

You nod, not finding it in you to utter another word to him. Maybe you should have said that. Maybe he did want to leave and now hes feeling guilty over you begging him to stay like that, maybe the space he takes on your couch isnt enough for him and you need to make yourself smaller for him to fit because hes breathtakingly close to you

“I dont wanna keep you here if you wanna go, i wasn't ordering you to stay, of course you can go anytime that you wan-”

By the time you realize that hes kissed you to shut you up, hes far away from you again, eyes looking anywhere but in yours, his hands still lingers on the top of your shoulder, after having fallen from your face. You dont kiss him back. You feel too embarrassed to dive into his face and kiss him again. And while making the first move for something that you wants isnt something you should be ashamed of, it hurts to think that your kiss will be unwanted.

Youve somehow convinced yourself it will be.

The movie you chose to watch is silently agreed on. Something you both enjoy. There's no time for arguing over what to watch. You need comfort in familiarity, to feel the warmth of something that you've known, something that'll never change no matter the time and place.

So when you put on the last Jedi there's no second thought about it.

Interspace fights and romance take you away for a good thirty minutes before there's an interruption to the tune of galactic laser.

“I'm sorry about our fight"

You mumble an -almost- inaudible sound. It's so overpowered by the anxiously loud beeps of Star Wars. Kirishima doesn't pause the movie to continue speaking. It's better this way. The noise of the movie fills the void between his sentences.

"I don't know why I got so fucking mad. I don't even know why I said what I said to you."

"It's okay"

"It's not. Stop pretending that it is. Listen-"

"You don't have to apologize for something that you meant to say"

"But I didn't mean it. I should have never told you you're making me not want you"

"Then why did you?" You pause the movie at this and uncomfortable silence fills the room again.

It should have been a simple question. No malice behind it but the tune in which you deliver it carries an endless sorrow with it. You're really just asking him why he hates you this much so he can have this temper with you and never feel like he should keep his mouth shut instead of hurting you.

"You wanted to hurt me, Eijiro. You wanted me to feel defeated. You wanted me to feel bad."

"I wanted to hurt you" He says, his eyes stealing away from yours "but only because I felt hurt too."

It's true. He doesn't know who's with you at nights where he's not. It's more frequent that he's not around and the thought of someone else taking the place he feels like he's earned is killing him. The thought of you seeking out romance in someone else is gut wrenching to him. How could he possibly believe that you're not doing this when he's not offering you what you want?

He wants to hurt you for hurting him. It's childish. More so when you know you never actually did anything to hurt him. It's his own head that's killing this. His jealousy, his insecurities. The thought of you having all the freedom in the world to find someone else, to fall for someone else. The times you've spent with kirishima aren't numerous, you can count them with one hand and still he- he feels as if letting you go isn't an option.

"I'm tired of people wanting to hurt me when I've never done anything to hurt them"

"I don't like this. It's fucked up to speak like this to you and I'm sorry. "

You would have accepted his apology. Had it not been for him mastering his most monotonous voice you'd already be on your knees, trying to apologize instead of him. But you won't take that role for now, as much as you'd like to be the one to take the blame for everything you just can't.

"Kyouka said I shouldn't talk to you about this, that you'll get mad. But your words and actions do hurt me. I want you. It's hard for me not to care about how you choose to act towards me."

He scoffs, of course he scoffs, and buries his head in his palms. You wouldn't know about the lamp in his throat, you wouldn't even know about that anxious feeling in his gut. Same way he doesn't know about yours. He doesn't know that you feel as if you've made the worst mistake of your life for uttering the words you did. He doesn't know you're about to make it worse.

"I don't wanna lose you"

"What's there to lose?" He asks and you beg to repeat what you said.

"I don't wanna lose you"

The words in his brain are reduced to none. There's neither a simple nor a complex sentence that can be woven in his mind. His spit is dry in the back of his throat, but a sound, even the one that comes from cleaning your throat, is prohibited.

There's no reply to your words and your confession lingers in the air uncomfortably as he unfreezes the movie. Maybe the cure for this could be his hand that comes to wrap around you. To bring you closer. Closer and closer until he's pressing your head into his chest -even that's a little bit uncomfortable on the physical realm- so much you can hear his heartbeat.

You know this sound. It left you in awe when it wouldn't slow down around you. It had once made you feel special. Now it's an indulgence you allow yourself to fall into. A way to calm your crazed mind down, maybe, maybe, if you closed your eyes you'd cherish it even more. You'd hear it better -since it's already overshadowed the sound of Star Wars in the background- you'd imprint it in your brain.

There's no complaining coming from your side or his. With the way you're curled up on each other, there's no actual space between you, therefore, no space for your insecurities to hop in between. There's no wondering whether he wants it or not, whether he's cuddling you for his enjoyment or to shut your pestering up. You're just living in this moment, all sleepy and mushy and still in his arms.

Eventually your head slips onto his lap. Your heavy eyes squished between his thigh and the hand he brings to ruffle between your hair. The circles he rubs on your head feel so soothing that it's unreal; how even sleeping they make you. You don't even believe this isn't a dream. Not like there's room in your head to doubt anything. When you look up at him his eyes are already wandering across your face, gently, as his eyebrows are raised.

And then he kisses your forehead. Then your eyes, your lips, for as brief as a second lasts, and then your chin. Not another second passes in the time he takes to look you in the eyes once more before he's attacking your mouth again and again, this time feverishly, like he's a man starved.

You don't even realize where your both of your shirts have gone by the time he picks you up and takes you to your bed, you only give in to the feeling of his chest exuding warmth, like a furnace and the fact that he's on you like an animal the second he places you on the bed.

Eijiro- who wouldn't even try to kiss your neck otherwise- has launched an attack to the tender skin of your neck. And there's no stopping in the way that he's handling you; kissing, sucking, biting every single spot his mouth can reach while his fingers have wiggled their way inside your panties, pressing right onto your clit with force.

"Eijiro s-slow dow-" You say, grabbing his hand to indicate where do you want him to slow down and even if he listens to you, your speech is cut in half by his lips on your again.

He's onto kissing your chest so feverishly, mouth finding your nipple and sucking so hard he could leave a hickey, he's sucking every bit of skin his mouth can find, just like he did to your neck, before he's trailing even lower. The kisses he places on your belly are so soft, it's unlike any other time you've fucked, they don't make you feel insecure about your body -not like they used to- and if you could think right now you'd ponder over this go-back and whether it's actually good for you.

Notice: It's not. But you want him so much that you cant stop yourself.

And the way he works around you makes you melt. When hes pushing you face down that mattress or when he looks you in the eyes while rocking into you. You're not sure how you'll ever recover from this and maybe its good that you won't. Your feelings for him have resurfaced again and so they do with every feverish touch, every embrace he's taking you when you come, or the ones he takes you in when he does in turn.

The body to body, skin to skin contact fills in that void you've been feeling. It makes you forget about all the times you've fought before you stopped talking to him, it makes you feel like you can look at him now and smile again but it hurts like you been shot through the heart. It's unreal that something that makes you feel so good makes you hurt so bad.

There's this everlasting pain in your chest that makes you unable to breathe. You're not sure you can watch him walk out of the door to your apartment and you cant put your trust in the thought that he might come back again just like he did today. So when he falls asleep with you in his arms, you hope you wont be awake when he leaves.

Your eyes hurt as they finally close, teary as they can get, only when the first rays of sun peek through your curtains. You hope he cant feel the tears that have bled over his chest, because if he does, youre sure he’ll leave earlier than he should.

#kirishima x reader #eijiro kirishima x reader #bnha #kirishima

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