#but we actually have a cooking job!
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#it was a hard day today.#sometimes you just gotta cry for an hour about requiring significant assistance to do basic stuff that you don't actually have help with rn!#(my wife is working 6 12s at a job we had to move across the country for)#(which means 1 she is *exhausted* at *all* times and struggling to even meet her own needs)#(and 2 our other partner and all our family and friends are. multiple days away by car. so they can't come help.)#it's getting hard to even stick leftovers in the microwave for myself but no one else is able to cook for me.#it sucks.#(we're moving again in june because this was a 1-year position from the beginning)#(and the idea is for our other partner to move in with us which will help a lot)#(plus my wife should be switching to a reliably 5-day week at that time)#(but we don't know where we're going for another month and a half.)#(so we can't really do any groundwork or anything to make that happen.)#(and having zero agency other than sitting and waiting and getting worse alone Really Sucks!)#I guess this is a bit of a secret part two to yesterday's meducation lol#favorites
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Glamtober Day 8- Ilsaberd Full prompt list [here]
Contemplative train rides in the heavy snow. Chuu’s good at what she’s doing here. Proud of it, even. She has underlings interns. And yet. Even buried in her own projects, there drifts an ominous feeling of Something about to go catastrophically wrong. And if her colleagues won’t listen…… perhaps it’s time to seek out a change of scenery.
Editing for the Trains screens done by my very talented husband @dustedbooksandreadingnooks💖
shader in full body is [Neneko Gameplay Vanilla Enhanced] Chuu is wearing: Indagator's Goggles of Crafting Indagator's Coat of Crafting (Jet Black) Replica Sky Pirate's Gauntlets of Maiming (Ash Grey) Wake Doctors Bottoms (Not visible but they're there!) Rebel Boots Cactuar Earring
#ffxivglamtober2024#ffxiv Viera#ffxiv Chuu#Chuusday Gears#morning train rides and coffee my beloved…. 😌#Keathan did such a superb job editing these for me it was magical to watch him work FR! it came together better than I imagined ;w;#admittedly the windows were higher up than I expected but I didn’t want to scale Chuu up for it @v@ maybe I should’ve?#I DID for the full body! that chair and control panel is actually super huge for some reason.#also if you recognize the scientist no you dooont ~ 💖🥰✨#ffxiv glamtober24#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv screenies#ffxiv glamtober#a rare Younger + Skinnier Chuu. she was slim with the tireless pursuit of her projects and deadlines and work.#from from such heavy expectations + people willing to cook for her + drag her out of the workshop to take care of herself led to her puttin#weight uvu; which she found she crucially enjoyed. being fat. I mean.#ffxiv Garlemald#don’t think too hard about the Viera in Garlemald. for my sake 🥰 we have fun here. get Sillay.
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wdym gojo isnt mentioned and mei mei the child groomer lives
GOJO HAD KIDS TO RAISE SHE ONLY HAD KIDS TO TOUCH.. 💔
#jjk 269#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#gege akutami get back here and do your job#i am actually APPALLED i thought his no1 rule was no joy#wdym we have bonding n shit#this chapter was kinda a letdownnnn 😭😭 gege couldve cooked harder but i feel like shonen jump was making him hurry#aaghhh its ok. 2 more chapters guys!!! what the fuck!!!!!#jjk leaks
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#mom asked me to cook breakfast so I made the usual but for some reason it's too salty apparently#(it doesnt)#so now she's telling me that I'm a failure followed by a bunch of sermon on why I should leave my job and get married to a girl and#shave my beard and don't eat anymore so I can actually be happy and not useless#(apparently I'm not happy now) and also says thank you mockingly. Great mom#what a fun trip#also ive been telling them can we go to this specific shop i wanna see if i can find cheaper steam deck there and they all start getting#angry on me on how selfish i am for just asking that#and how i dont care about my mom because my mom isnt interested on used game stores#like what the fuck#i paid all of the tickets for her here why the fuck am i not allowed to go to where i want#pissing me off#i wanna go homeeeeee#honestly im not excited about this trip no more i just wanna go home and just go back to work and then at night i draw and play ffxiv#the only one excited i have is disneyland on the last day but i can think of several ways they ruin it too#my mom definitely will be like im tiredd go find a chair and so i have to wait for her#i hate this trip
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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#★ arin rambles#‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE!#guys…. he my favorriet…#my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
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Thinking about when i studied counselling at uni and they straight up told us that cbt has negative outcomes for many people and shouldn't become a standard for care, all talking therapies seem to have the same efficacy as each other, many psychologists think therapy is ineffective altogether, serotonin and dopamine don't work like that we just act like they do because pills that prevent their reuptake help people*, all diagnoses are a socially created (and enforced) map that shifts and changes with time and culture, and any one person could have been diagnosed and treated differently by myriad different doctors based on luck and social factors
Shame its practitioners don't think so
#anti psychiatry#when it came time to pick a master's degree it turned out every single professionally recognised course was pseudoscience#so i have to choose between practising actual bullshit or not becoming a proper psychotherapist#their rationale: it doesn't make a difference what the therapy is because it doesn't matter#also good luck trying to get into the mental health sphere if you're not able to pay £££#so many people get into it as a hobby after retiring from middle class positions. which I'm sure doesn't contribute to its problems at all#like they taught us to formulate our own approaches and beliefs and then told us we're only getting a job if we take up someone else's#training is gonna suck shit yall#like. i see some efficacy and potential in it that's why i want in. but... it's like being trained super well on food hygeine and safety and#then becoming a line cook at the filthiest restaurant and learning everywhere in town is the same. yknow?#i think therapy is useful. i also think it's not for everyone. after all that's what they taught me and they used evidence to do it#anyway
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finding good protein bars helps but its sooo hard to eat lately without feeling like i am literally shoving styrofoam into my body or pouring paint in my throat food is not food to me right now
#also i think my boss already noticed bc he gave us all a snack today…#or hes just nice#i remember at my jewelry store job tho they would literally be like can we buy you lunch dude#can we take you to our house and make you a home cooked meal with a fancy dessert and whatever snacks you want#and id be like no its ok im safe with the chocolate covered blueberries and starbursts actually#tbf that was after i was having palpitations at the register so bad the customer i was ringing up thought i was going to faint 😅#also having less of a workload makes it easier to forget cus when i was machining if i forgot to eat i was genuinely putting myself and my#coworkers in danger. that shit was so rigorous if i didnt have a lunch i wouldnt be able to carry the equipment even
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hate my sister's shitty good for nothing boyfriend. can you imagine being a 30yo man with two kids who won't even scramble an egg. Not for his kids, not for his girlfriend, not for himself. literally if my sister doesn't leave out pre-made meals when he's watching the kids he will rip up bread or pour them dry cereal or open a granola bar and make himself microwave dinners. like, lowest effort possible. but if i mention this to my sis, she'll be like "no he's definitely cooked for the kids! he scrambled an egg for them once! i watched him do it!" but it's like...so he scrambled one egg in the last five years. just to like, prove he can? at your direct insistence? should we all clap? like seriously. hate this guy. had to really hold back recently because he had someone over and he was interacting with the kids more than usual for appearances, and he had to keep asking me and my sis what the 5yo was signing because he barely bothered to learn his own son's primary form of communication. i was so tempted to say "that one means 'go home' but you wouldn't know that because you don't take them anywhere." so hard to hold that in. If I had to describe this man in two words they would be these: Low Effort. Not quite bare minimum, but JUST enough to convince my sister that it would be too much hassle to get rid of him. he's stupid as fuck, but just smart enough to quickly stop shit like screaming obscenities at the kids for doing normal kid things. and he once stomped on my headphones and broke them in a fit of rage, but gave my sister money to replace them so it was "fine." Like, my sister thinks that he's just struggling with his anger issues, because he had a bad childhood, blah, blah, and oh he would never actually hurt her or the kids. and like, good for you, but i don't trust like that. genuinely hoping he gets struck by lightning and dies instantly.
#my sister and i do all the hard stuff and most of the easy stuff too tbh#cooking and cleaning and sorting out benefits and insurances and getting the kids to school and events#doctor's appointments and medications and dentist appointments and taxes#we get the groceries and care for all the pets and kids and household things#we both have jobs#i actually have 3 jobs#good for nothing boyfriend makes $12 a year plus some under the table cash as a “private trainer”#which means between that and selling his plasma and borrowing money from his mom he can...pay his super cheap tiny part of rent#and occasionally hand my sister like $20#he doesn't buy groceries or diapers or household supplies or clothing or toys or literally anything#literally the only household chore he does is fold laundry#that's it. and it's not “DO” laundry. it's just folding the clean and dry stuff#you know. the chore my parents would have us do when we were like 10 so we'd feel helpful#the 5yo is medically complex and we frequently make trips to a slightly distant hospital with him#and they literally asked us to stop bringing my sister's boyfriend along because he was disruptive and confusing#which was a polite way to say 'obnoxious and stupid as shit'#do you know how many times in one visit w/the same doctor he would ask 'so when does he get superpowers?'#he also obviously didn't know how to answer basic questions like 'how many times does he poop a day on average'#and 'how often has he been eating and what has he been eating day to day?'#like bro this man can go days without changing a diaper and will not even heat up a can of spaghettios to feed his own kids#he cannot answer those questions with any kind of accuracy#also i'm saying boyfriend because my sister desperately wanted to at least be engaged so she could say fiance in front of ppl#but just like marriage this was apparently a 'waste of effort'#not even the cheapest ring or the most underwhelming proposal or a courthouse wedding was worth his energy so...#yeah glad she hasn't married this waste of air. and i'll be praying for that lightning strike
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how it feels to randomly get rly overwhelmed and frustrated and bitchy and feel like youre going insane
#like its so dumb i shouldnt be this upset its not just rhe stupid drawing everything is literally wrong . i need everythinf 2 stop 4ever#i want to eat something savory but i cant bc rly what i want is a spambowl but i cant fucking make spambowl bc everybody in the house will#lose their shit that i didnt offer to make any for them <- uncharitable. at most lamp would make a joke abt it. but i also just dont want to#cook. but nobody else can make spam bowls#well lamp can but they prefer when i make them. but we have 4 pieces of leftover spam i need to use up bc theyre jusr in a ziploc#and thats enough for A spambowl. but iii dont feel like it#it wouldnt even be that like. actually no incouldnt thered be too much rice#we only have boil in a bag rn. and 1 bag is for 2#so if i want spambowl id Have to share w lamp which i dont mind its easy 2 like. yk. 2 spambowl is what i usually make so i can do it pretty#easy. but im like om the verge of tears for no reason so i cant be in the kitchen#'for no reason' well my periods coming up inliterally got rhe notif for it. thats the reason#i need to get back on t i need to get a job i need to graduate. slamming my head into the wall#i feel like now its been too long since i worked and nobody will hire me . man#but i also like. idk i. id probably be better if i had a job bc id have to be but i feel like i cant keeo anything stable#i cant even keep my fucking sleep schedule steady i get it fixed for a week and then i fuck it up#im so tired i wish things were easy. whateber man . i think maybe i just need to sleep
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clocking in just to play hangman on the whiteboard, hog the iced tea dispenser, mess with tourists, never answer the phone, eat the free food while hiding in the room meant for parties with reservations and text everyone in my contacts about how I'm suffering sm and they need to come save me rn >>>
#all jokes ofc :] tbh I hate slow days. bc when the servers have nothing better to do.......they'll start bothering me at the hostess stand 😒#and I need to talk to whoever is operating the sound system why tf did they start playing papa louie osts???? thought I was hallucinating#job so mortifying my fav part of the shift is when we all go home and my fav coworkers facetime me so we can debrief on wtf just happened#the owner's bf is so annoying. he thinks he's on the team 😭😭😭😭#I don't actually care if the servers or cooks mess with me but he always comes off as super condescending. what's his problem.......#won't let me sit down won't let me use my phone. and he took away the electric fan in the front I'm dyinggg in my all black uniform 😫😫😫
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I've been thinking abt my critter dupes some more and it was all fun and games until I remembered that I made Mi-ma a beeta and hm. Whoops. Uh oh. (<- Considered the implications for more than 2 seconds)
#rat rambles#oni posting#it's not Too bad. shes fine. but hoo boy. the images my mind showed me were not fun.#it's ok she just needs to keep being the farmer cook that she is and gather stuff for her fellow dupes and itll all be fine#Id provide further context but then itd become too clear what Im talking abt so how abt I dont#its ok shes ok nothing bad happens to her shes just a bit quirky thats all#and even if things did go a lil wonky it wouldnt be irreversible just a bit of an issue for a bit#shes just a silly billy who's genetic makeup is a series of contradictions and anomalies#I also have it as a thing where most of the colony see her as like a baby sister since she was the first duplicant printed after quinn left#so the dupes who were already there were like oh shit there's a new one and quinn isn't here to help them adjust we have to do a good job#in their place and make sure she feels the security they helped us feel while we built this colony together#and meanwhile mi-ma was just sitting there having the joints of an 80 year old woman and the energy of a young and spry bee#some of the younger dupes in that colony actually dont like her much because they see her as kind of spoiled#liam and leira especially constantly give her gifts and let her do things she rly shouldn't do#they eventually get better abt it when it actually starts to threaten her physical well-being but it sort of starts to swing in the other#direction after a while with leira especially being rly obsessive with making sure shes not doing anything that could cause health issues#ada has some light beef with mi-ma but she starts to turn around on her a bit once she learns abt some of the stuff shes gone through#after a lil while they get to be bug buddies who are experiencing joy and whimsy together watching paint dry or smth idk
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i was not made for work from home bc i did NOTHING all day i literally just sat here and now it’s 2am and i’m doing my work that due tomorrow at 3 i love adhd i do NOT stay on task if someone isn’t near me
#when people are around i’m like “okay we actually have to look like we’re working so let’s work”#but the moment i’m alone?#i go thrift shopping#i call my grandmother#i take long walks#i cook#i learn how to crochet#i watch frances ha for the 12millionth time#i stand in front of the mirror and sing all the parts of les mis#i play pretend#at least i know im interesting#but alas#i need this job#elle talks
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Zone!!! The shock I got seeing your name on my dash!! I often wonder how you were getting on and it’s so great that it sounds like uni is going well? I hope you’re doing okay <3
RECCS <3333 HELLO HOW ARE YOU
Uni is going well hehe. I'm finishing up my third year getting my BS in Biological Chemistry & Molecular Biology + two minors in Spanish and Public Health, with a 4.0. I actually recently got 100s on my recent round of exams. I have so much going on All Of The Time but it's genuinely all stuff I enjoy.
I hope you are well; I hope you're healthy and happy. You are forever the smartest person I know, and I think very fondly of you.
#reccs#this is where i list all of my activities to speed-run update you#i have two part time jobs#i volunteer with a local clinic's social health services program#as well as occasionally volunteer my baking/cooking skills for my uni's free meal program for local houseless ppl#i serve as president/eic for da social justice magazine#co-host/event coordinator for poetry group#im also helping to found a latino collective in my city#AND i do model and catwalk for my school's vogue team#we actually just had a show#i modeled piece from two local designers as well as some of my own looks#p cool stuff#anddd i am cooking ofc ofc#currently working on a new resippy#i miss you :sob: i hope ur well
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✏🖍
#also.#so many 'schools should be teaching X' things are really things parents should be teaching#cooking? parents#basic money management? parents#social emotional skills? parents#safe sex? parents#'but many parents cant/dont teach those things!' ok cool so weve identified a problem#that doesnt automatically mean the answer is schools#we need to firmly identify what is the actual purpose for schools#what is THEIR job#and thats where the focus needs to be#then we can look at if other things can be offered through the schools#and sometimes the answer will be yes but sometimes it wont be#and so we may have to turn somewhere else for answers#but if the schools arent the answer that doesnt mean the schools have failed if it was never in their purview to begin with#and the bottom line is i want to help my students#i want to teach them as a whole person as best i can#and there are ways that i can do that helps me teach their hearts as well as their minds#but i cannot parent 160 teenagers.#it doesnt matter how much i want to i cant do it.#so the expectation cannot be for teachers to fill all the holes left by parents who are either unwilling or simply not equipped to do thejob
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I have insane cramps rn and just saying if my brother was here I wouldn’t feel any better but at least he would’ve ‘coincidentally’ made flapjacks for breakfast
#no cause when I think about it it’s so crazy like#only my brother could understand#like we have other siblings but none of them understand the extent to which our parents were insane#like he does says shit and does things where I’m left thinking that’s not normal and you’re deeply traumatized#but it makes me feel better cause I do the same things too#like yeah we both crazy#I’ll never forget when me and my brother were driving around town with his girlfriend#and we were laughing talking about our childhood#he he laughs and says how our mum used to lock the freezer and the pantry every day before she went to work#which is by far the least bad thing she’s done#but I was just looking at my brother like do you even realize that’s not normal babe😭#stop kekeing for a second and deep what you actually just said#and his girlfriend was like 😃😟😰#but anyway my brother has gone to war (he got a 12 hour shift job) when will he return I miss him (it’s his turn to cook I’m tired)
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#so there's this girl#and there's this conversation I had where I told Prettyboy about a coworker whose version of polyamory is#'she says she needs me back in Washington but I don't have a job there. I keep telling her to get another boyfriend while I'm out of town#just make sure he's not around when I visit so I don't have to fight anybody'#That tickled me. And the conversation ended with me getting like a third of a hall pass. I gotta call if anything happens.#Call so Prettyboy feels like he's part of my romantic life even when the romance isn't him#Which is the opposite track of the one I was giggling about okay yeah#But like my best friend here is. Super pretty. Ridiculously pretty.#And kind and works hard and takes care of the people she loves. She's always finding ways to help me.#And she's vegan and loves my cooking and that's my love language okay#I wanna make sure she eats I wanna see what happens if she's given full reigns on dominance I want I yearn#And we talk for hours about nothing but it's been weeks since I've been like one third available and I dunno how to tell her#Or if I should or if I'd be just another person in her life who wants her for what she can do for them#I think my intentions are good but it's lonely. The long distance and the seasonal work and the isolated town up in the mountains.#And maybe I just want to be held.#I know she's grey ace and a lot of the romantic relationships she's had in the past were very manipulative and not what she really wanted#Maybe that's what's pulling me in so hard like am I just insecure and want to prove myself yet again#I've always been drawn to flaky people#I wanna be the one person they show up for#This is the thing that I actually need to process in therapy and can't just lsd the anxiety away#Though that worked for most things#Take hallucinagens. Once.#I'm such a hugger but only worked up the courage to hug her a few days ago.#We've been talking (lowercase t) for months.#And I know she has her own long distance unicorn relationship back in Kentucky. I'm hoping the subject will just surface again.#And then I can say hey#I think you're really pretty
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