#but very few of them are relevant to this situation

[dashiellqvverty]

are people like. aware that all the ships from kids cartoons currently winning in the femslash polls are like. canon as well as very central to their shows?? you don’t have to like cartoons to each their own but SOMETIMES the way people talk about them im like oh so you know nothing about these shows. i am saying this as someone who dislikes both lum.ity and c.honi (for very different reasons) like i have no stake in who wins that poll.

i am just like you know luz is Thee main character right?? you know catradora was the whole plot of the show right??? no they’re not good because they’re representation that alone is not enough to make something a good ship (see: lumi/ty but also ch/oni) they’re good because they’re like. interesting and fleshed out characters. catradora and lu/mity and korrasami and bubbline aren’t showing up in the top 100 because they’re frequent side pairings in m/m fics like none of those fandoms have m/m ships that even compare in popularity. like not that this isn’t a larger problem of femslash ships (and like the preference for sanitized couples Is A Thing as well 100%) but like that is not what’s happening Here

[crossgartered]

LMAO WE KNOW, BREQ

[curlicuecal]

playing science telephone

Hi folks. Let's play a fun game today called "unravelling bad science communication back to its source."

Journey with me.

Saw a comment going around on a tumblr thread that "sometimes the life expectancy of autism is cited in the 30s"

That number seemed..... strange. The commenter DID go on to say that that was "situational on people being awful and not… anything autism actually does", but you know what? Still a strange number. I feel compelled to fact check.

Quick Google "autism life expectancy" pulls up quite a few websites bandying around the number 39. Which is ~technically~ within the 30s, but already higher than the tumblr factoid would suggest. But, guess what. This number still sounds strange to me.

Most of the websites presenting this factoid present themselves as official autism resources and organizations (for parents, etc), and most of them vaguely wave towards "studies."

Ex: "Above And Beyond Therapy" has a whole article on "Does Autism Affect Life Expectancy" and states:

The link implies that it will take you to the "research studies" being referenced, but it in fact takes you to another random autism resource group called.... Songbird Care?

And on that website we find the factoid again:

Ooh, look. Now they've added the word "some". The average lifespan for SOME autistic people. Which the next group erased from the fact. The message shifts further.

And we have slightly more information about the study! (Which has also shifted from "studies" to a singular "study"). And we have another link!

Wonderfully, this link actually takes us to the actual peer-reviewed 2020 study being discussed. [x]

And here, just by reading the abstract, we find the most important information of all.

This study followed a cohort of adolescent and adult autistic people across a 20 year time period. Within that time period, 6.4% of the cohort died. Within that 6.4%, the average age of death was 39 years.

So this number is VERY MUCH not the average age of death for autistic people, or even the average age of death for the cohort of autistic people in that study. It is the average age of death IF you died young and within the 20 year period of the study (n=26), and also we don't even know the average starting age of participants without digging into earlier papers, except that it was 10 or older. (If you're curious, the researchers in the study suggested reduced self-sufficiency to be among the biggest risk factors for the early mortality group.)

But the number in the study has been removed from it's context, gradually modified and spread around the web, and modified some more, until it is pretty much a nonsense number that everyone is citing from everyone else.

There ARE two other numbers that pop up semi-frequently:

One cites the life expectancy at 58. I will leave finding the context for that number as an exercise for the audience, since none of the places I saw it gave a direct citation for where they were getting it.

And then, probably the best and most relevant number floating around out there (and the least frequently cited) draws from a 2023 study of over 17,000 UK people with an autism diagnosis, across 30 years. [x] This study estimated life expectancies between 70 and 77 years, varying with sex and presence/absence of a learning disability. (As compared to the UK 80-83 average for the population as a whole.)

This is a set of numbers that makes way more sense and is backed by way better data, but isn't quite as snappy a soundbite to pass around the internet. I'm gonna pass it around anyway, because I feel bad about how many scared internet people I stumbled across while doing this search.

People on quora like "I'm autistic, can I live past 38"-- honey, YES. omg.

---

tl;dr, when someone gives you a number out of context, consider that the context is probably important

also, make an amateur fact checker's life easier and CITE YOUR SOURCES

[arolesbianism]

If I had the freedom of not knowing there is going to be future new lore stuff added to oni I would do unspeakable things to so many of these guys. Or Id just make them normal guys who just sorta exist. Either or.

[flimsy-roost]

I realized the other day that the reason I didn't watch much TV as a teenager (and why I'm only now catching up on late aughts/early teens media that I missed), is because I literally didn't understand how to use our TV. My parents got a new system, and it had three remotes with a Venn diagram of functions. If someone left the TV on an unfamiliar mode, I didn't know how to get back to where I wanted to be, so I just stopped watching TV on my own altogether.

I explained all this to my therapist, because I didn't know if this was more related to my then-unnoticed autism, or to my relationship with my parents at the time (we had issues less/unrelated to neurodivergency). She told me something interesting.

In children's autism assessments, a common test is to give them a straightforward task that they cannot reasonably perform, like opening an overtight jar. The "real" test is to see, when they realize that they cannot do it on their own, if they approach a caregiver for help. Children that do not seek help are more likely to be autistic than those that do.

This aligns with the compulsory independence I've noticed to be common in autistic adults, particularly articulated by those with lower support needs and/or who were evaluated later in life. It just genuinely does not occur to us to ask for help, to the point that we abandon many tasks that we could easily perform with minor assistance. I had assumed it was due to a shared common social trauma (ie bad experiences with asking for help in the past), but the fact that this trait is a childhood test metric hints at something deeper.

My therapist told me that the extremely pathologizing main theory is that this has something to do with theory of mind, that is doesn't occur to us that other people may have skills that we do not. I can't speak for my early childhood self, or for all autistic people, but I don't buy this. Even if I'm aware that someone else has knowledge that I do not (as with my parents understanding of our TV), asking for help still doesn't present itself as an option. Why?

My best guess, using only myself as a model, is due to the static wall of a communication barrier. I struggle a lot to make myself understood, to articulate the thing in my brain well enough that it will appear identically (or at least close enough) in somebody else's brain. I need to be actively aware of myself and my audience. I need to know the correct words, the correct sentence structure, and a close-enough tone, cadence, and body language. I need draft scripts to react to possible responses, because if I get caught too off guard, I may need several minutes to construct an appropriate response. In simple day-to-day interactions, I can get by okay. In a few very specific situations, I can excel. When given the opportunity, I can write more clearly than I am ever capable of speaking.

When I'm in a situation where I need help, I don't have many of my components of communication. I don't always know what my audience knows. I don't have sufficient vocabulary to explain what I need. I don't know what information is relevant to convey, and the order in which I should convey it. I don't often understand the degree of help I need, so I can come across inappropriately urgent or overly relaxed. I have no ability to preplan scripts because I don't even know the basic plot of the situation.

I can stumble though with one or two deficiencies, but if I'm missing too much, me and the potential helper become mutually unintelligible. I have learned the limits of what I can expect from myself, and it is conceptualized as a real and physical barrier. I am not a runner, so running a 5k tomorrow does not present itself as an option to me. In the same way, if I have subconscious knowledge that an interaction is beyond my capability, it does not present itself as an option to me. It's the minimum communication requirements that prevent me from asking for help, not anything to do with the concept of help itself.

Maybe. This is the theory of one person. I'm curious if anyone else vibes with this at all.

[cibulovychleba]

To any kcd and hansry enjoyers coming across this post who have seen kcd only in English, I need you to know what you're missing.

Hans Capon is in Czech called Jan Ptáček

Jan has a few name variations in Czech, each less formal (and each more unserious, in my opinion). Like if you're called Jan that's on you IDs etc, but your family and friends might just call you Honza, if you prefer it

The Jan scale goes from Jan > Honza > Jenda > honorable mention Janek, but I'm not sure if this variant is relevant right now

And guess what, Henry calls Hans by these variations, which is so precious to me. Yes, Hans is a noble and yes, Henry refers to him as his lord, but he also calls him Jenda, which is very much giving village boy energy, Jenda the stable boy or something. I think it really shows, on another level, how familiar and close they are with each other, and how the relationship shifts in kcd2, how Hans is becoming Henry's closest first, his lord second, how they are on the same level now, in comparison with kcd1, where they tiptoe in some dialog options around Henry keeping his distance and Hans encouraging him to treat him less formally and rewarding when Henry actually talks back.

Side note, I'm glad at least Henry has available name variant in English people who know him use, as well as in Czech (Jindřich and Jindra – Henry and Hal)

And a cherry on top, the situations when Henry uses a less formal variant of Hans' name are rare, but one of those situations that I've seen in someone else's playthrough was specifically the march to Nebakov turned ambush. When you're attacked and fight back you get periodically prompted to follow Hans and defend him, but if you can't find him, Henry will call out and use Jenda variant. And when Hans gets knocked out and Henry finds him in dirt before facing Žižka, he kneels down to him and calls him Jan, then Ptáček, and when nothing seems to work, he calls him Honza. Which makes me think this is something Henry's mind does when everything goes to shit and he's desperate and the closest person he has left and who he loves is in danger and so he reaches, asking Hans to come back to him, not as a noble with unfinished responsibilities, but simply as his Honza.

And I'm totally normal about that.

Beside all of this

I adore Tom McKay's voice and performance, but also Richard Wágner is so good as Henry, and, his words not mine, his Henry sounds much more sillier, which is a delight. And this is such a Czech-specific appreciation, but kcd2 has many iconic Czech actors and it's honestly so amusing to both see and hear them in a video game.

[innerfare]

You’re Jealous

 Summary: You get jealous of someone else in his life.

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Law, and Kid

Genre: Slight Angst // Fluff

CW: None // SFW

——— 

Luffy:

He never told you Boa Hancock was in love with him, and when you find out, you have to remove yourself from the situation before you have an emotional outburst and start something with the Pirate Empress. The problem is, you don’t even know which emotion will spill out of you. Finding out the world’s most beautiful woman, and a powerful Warlord, no less, is desperate to marry Luffy is a whirlwind, to say the least. Luffy can seem clueless at times, but his emotional intelligence is through the roof, and he picks up on what has you upset almost straight away. He knows to give you some space, and when he senses you’re ready, he approaches you with a handful of wildflowers he picked. He doesn’t really say much, just pulls you into a hug, presses a few kisses into your cheek and temple, and says in your ear, “you’re my girl.” 

Zoro:

He didn’t mention Perona was also at Mihawk’s castle for those two years until a few months after the crew gets together. He tells a story that features her, and you realize there was a woman keeping him company. Your heart drops into your stomach. Zoro insists he didn’t mention her because he didn’t think she was relevant; the only thing Perona did those two years was annoy him. He’s actually the one who won’t let it go, not you (even though you are pretty jealous). Whereas you’d prefer not to talk about it, Zoro is wracked with guilt because he’d never considered the whole thing in a relationship context. Him fretting constantly over it actually heals your jealousy because you realize you’ve never seen him panic over the prospect of hurting anyone else’s feelings. 

Sanji:

Even with a third eye, Pudding is stunning. And Sanji almost married her. It was before you two were together, but listening to the stories from Whole Cake, hearing how close he came to marrying another woman, knowing she really did fall in love with his kind heart and wonderful cooking, turns you into a little green monster. You know you shouldn’t feel jealous of a woman you’ve never met before, a woman Sanji chose not to marry, but you can’t help it. Sanji is completely shocked that you would feel jealous over his relationship (if it could even be called that) with Pudding, though after thinking about it some more, he does realize why you might be jealous that he had a fiancé. His solution is to bring you a bouquet of roses and walk you through the dark details of his life, telling you things he’s never outright told anyone, so you understand the special place you have in his life. 

Ace:

He collects people without trying, and often times, without realizing, either. Ace thinks he’s just making friends, but you see the way the women he laughs and shares drinks with are drawn to him like plants to the sun. He promises them freedom and adventure (and he has a very nice laugh), and you can see how it excites them. You don’t really mind it, knowing Ace well enough to see the way he holds those women at arm’s length, even if he seems close with them (such is the magic of Fire First Ace). But Yamato makes you jealous. It’s not hearing the way they laughed together but hearing the way they fought that gets to you. You know how Ace lives to fight and even just roughhouse, you know how he’s a rough and tumble guy, and you worry you’re not tough enough. Should you be punching his arm when he makes a joke? Should you be trying to trip him out on deck? What should you be doing? When you finally come clean with Ace about what’s been bothering you, he actually laughs. “If I wanted to be with someone who gives me hell, I’d be sleeping in Marco’s cabin every night. Besides,” he says, scooping you up in his arms, “I like being able to manhandle you.” 

Sabo:

Sabo is a flirt, and you knew that going into your relationship. It actually doesn’t bother you when he flashes that charming smile of his at someone else or swoops in to save a damsel in distress (a speciality of his) and even serves to entertain, especially on the rare occasions his flirtations are rebuked. What does bother you, though, is his tight relationship with Koala. You know it’s ridiculous to be envious, you know Koala would sooner saw off her arm than kiss the man she considers her irksome big brother, but they’ve known each other since they were little kids, and Koala has been through so much with Sabo that the pair have such a close bond. It’s not the angry kind of jealousy that bubbles up in you when Koala mentions something about Sabo’s past that she assumes you know but you don’t, just the sad kind that you try to keep to yourself. Surprisingly, Sabo notices, though you don’t realize until he hugs you from behind and mumbles in your ear that he’s glad you’re the only one who knows he has a skincare routine, his silly words diffusing your mood and acting as the exact affirmation you needed. If it’s not enough, though, he’ll happily prove his loyalty to you by challenging Koala to a karate match, though.  

Law:

Dr. Law and Dr. Robin sure do get along well- so well, in fact, you can’t help but wonder if they are better suited to each other than you and him. Even if they didn’t have such good chemistry, it would be impossible not to feel a touch of jealousy toward the archeologist. She’s intelligent, beautiful, fiercely loyal, a member of the Straw Hats, and has an impressive bounty that she earned even before she became a pirate. Needless to say, you find yourself brooding when the Robin brings him a beer and sits down beside him to discuss the immune systems of fishmen, a topic both are rather interested in. Of course, you’re interested in that, too, thus the reason Law realizes something is wrong when you don’t participate in the conversation. He ends up excusing the two of you and taking you to bed, worrying you had too much to drink, the thought you may be jealous never once occurring to him. You end up not saying anything (many thing in your relationship with Law being unspoken) and just sleeping it off, the fact that he excused the two of you proof enough of his loyalty. 

Kid:

He doesn’t ever talk about his first love, Victoria. In fact, you didn’t even know she existed until Killer got drunk one night and began speaking of his dearly departed. What he didn’t mention was that Kid, too, had been in love with her. It only comes up the next night when you mention it to Wire, who mentions it was the death of his first love, Victoria, that put Kid on the war path and united the first four members of the Kid Pirates. Realizing Wire messed up, Heat chimes in to say, “he’d do the same for you.” But you’re not convinced, mainly because Kid never told you any of this. It tears you apart, leaves you tossing and turning for nights on end, until you finally burst into Kid’s workshop one night ranting about how he doesn’t trust you and holds you at arm’s length. “Heat says you’d do the same for me, but-” Kid cuts you off and says, “I wouldn’t do the same, I’d do worse. Much, much worse.” And from the wicked gleam in his eye, you’re inclined to believe him. 

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[redwinewhiteroses]

When is it going to happen? ⏳️

With this reading you can get an idea about when the situation on your mind is going to take place. It could be about any situation, and you can choose multiple groups for different situations/questions you may have.

I'm not too sure of timing related tarot readings because life is ever-changing. The situations that are lined up in your life right now will lead you to the expected outcome in some time, but if you change certain things in your situation after getting this reading, the timing could change significantly to be earlier or be delayed, so please be mindful of that.

But still a reading like this is reassuring and helpful in many ways, so I decided to make this. Tarot gives accurate predictions, it's just that life is never constant.

*These are just probable estimations of time.*

WOODLAND

Nine months for most of you.

For some of you, this situation could be unrealistic or this won't happen according to your wishes.

If it happens, it won't be as satisfactory as you thought it would be.

For very few of you, this situation you are asking about may not happen at all. This is bound to fail.

There's a few possibilities here, so please take only what resonates with you and your specific situation.

TIGER EYE

When you accept it, that is when this is going to happen.

When you stop holding back and when you truly tap into your inner strength.

When you take control and when you are confident of your strength and capability.

When you are true to yourself. When you allow yourself to shine.

Leo season could be relevant. So late July until late August.

CRYSTAL

Seven weeks.

When you start being strategic or when you become cunning and secretive, this situation will happen.

For some of you, this could be something you have to do without revealing your plans to anyone. You will have to keep to yourself if this situation is to happen well.

You will have to grab a chance or be well aware of your opportunities for this to happen.

One or many of these could be relevant to you.

RUBY

It will happen soon and you can be sure of that.

Once you look into the past, do some self-reflection and learn the lessons.

Right after you achieve a significant milestone in your journey.

The more success you unlock, the more you evolve and the more connected you are to the higher power and consciousness.

Any of these could be the timing for you.

GARNET

Three months.

When you collaborate with others.

When you are involved with community, friends or an emotional support group.

When you are together with people, socialising and having fun.

During a wedding, party, festival, event or celebration of some kind.

When you are happy and connected with others.

One or few of these could be relevant to you.

AMETHYST

This will take a few seasons or many months to happen.

For some of you, this could take a few years.

During or after Winter.

Capricorn season - December to January.

When Spring is here.

When you choose to be down-to-earth, mature and wise in living life.

When you take solid advice that a woman in your life has already given you or is ready to give you if you choose to ask them.

This could be about finances for some, if so, when you work hard and take responsibility but at the same time you should take good care of yourself. Stay grounded and heal from within.

Once you create a healthy and stable home environment. When your house is a home.

When you are secure and comfortable and aligned with your femininity or masculinity.

One or few of these messages might be for you.

SODALITE

This situation is almost done.

Through the help of a male figure, someone who is stronger, authoritative and powerful and he might be able to make this happen for you.

Or when you take control, when you take charge unapologetically and with force.

When you are motivated, practical, logical and even ruthless. When you lead and overcome, when you plan and do it well.

One or few of these messages can be relevant for you.

I'm thinking of this song. So maybe use it to make this happen.

CANVAS

Six months or Ten months. Within this time period or after.

The past could be relevant for this to happen.

Family, siblings or childhood friends will have a say in this situation.

When you nourish and protect your inner child.

Once you make peace with the past.

When you are open to receiving with absolute joy and without expectations. When you are grateful for everything you receive.

Because of children or childbirth.

When you embrace your roots, find comfort in your family, hug them, love them and just accept them.

When a marriage happens. After a long term commitment takes place.

When your life is filled with love and emotional fulfillment.

This will happen with a lot of love, joy and emotional fulfillment. That's for sure!

One of few of these could resonate with your situation, maybe all of the above.

DRUZY

This can happen during autumn. Months of October and November can be significant.

If not, this will take a few months to happen.

A loving male can help you with this situation, or with his blessings this situation will take place.

Cancer, Pisces or Scorpio seasons. So June, July, February, March, April, late October or November.

When you are understanding of your circumstances, and when you are calm and composed.

When you honour your mind, body and soul.

When you are more spiritual and embody peace.

Once you let go of the need to be dramatic, impulsive or dominating. When you disengage yourself from futile situations.

One or few of these could be the answer for you.

DRIFTWOOD

Around five months.

For some of you, this might not happen, or it will cause you some sadness once it happens.

Once you process the feelings of loss.

This won't work out for some of you, but don't be discouraged.

MACA

This will happen quite soon. Within days or weeks at most.

Yeah, it is happening! IT IS COMING FOR YOU, FOLLOWING YOU haha. Run if you want to lol, but this is going to happen soon, and that too with a blast.

Sagittarius season/November and December can be important.

When you get things done and move forward, this will happen.

Dare to do, you know!

For some of you, when you make a big move or change direction.

When you travel, explore and choose adventure.

Almost all of these could be relevant for the situation you are asking about.

EARTH

It cannot be said just yet.

Cannot be seen or understood. Not every aspect of this is revealed.

On a full moon day. At night.

This situation could require shadow work or the subconscious.

The occult or mystic powers will have a say in this situation.

Your dreams will say when this is going to happen.

This situation will be waxing and waning. It isn't linear, it just goes on and on.

I don't really know, maybe you shouldn't either.

HEMATITE

One day. It will probably happen today or tomorrow.

When you take initiative or grab the new opportunity.

It's on you, really.

SAPPHIRE

Eight years.

Eight seasons or two years.

Eight chapters of life will have to happen before this can take place.

When you stay committed and work with dedication. When you are locked in and consistent with great discipline.

Within one week or after that week.

Once you start making a conscious choice even if you fear making the wrong choice.

When you are focussed. When you remove fears and stop holding onto the past.

When you stop being scared of this.

It will happen whenever it is ready. Spontaneous and free to happen, probably cannot be influenced or manipulated.

There's multiple timings here. One could be true for you, or maybe none at all.

INDIGO

Weeks or months.

Libra season so, September and October can be relevant.

When you stop holding onto the trauma and the bitterness of life.

When you let go of the past, once and for all.

OBSIDIAN

Three days.

When you travel. Maybe foreign travel or through exploring something.

It is just on the horizon, you only have to wait a little longer.

Nine days.

Hold on a little longer even if you are exhausted. Even if you are at your limit, this situation can happen because the Universe is here for you.

The more you believe, actively manifest and be hopeful, the sooner it will happen.

The Universe is listening.

When you are gentle with yourself and at peace.

Days are most likely. I have a feeling that your faith is what should be stronger for this to happen.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I'd love to hear about Aunty Chihiro, and, by extension, what exactly was going on with Orihime's parents

Chihiro Inoue is the MUCH younger sister of Orihime's father. In fact, Chihiro was only about four years older than Sora, and the two of them were close growing up- more like siblings than cousins, because Sora was left with his grandparents so often by his neglectful parents.

The problem with Sora and Orihime's parents was that they were... Not up to the herculean task of parenting and didn't know how to cope.

They weren't stupid- they were actually both quite bright and did well in school, but both of them had little to no impulse control, emotionally volatile were intensely self-centered (mostly as a means to cope with the poor organizational skills and emotional disregulation). None of those are sins, but they did make for two high school sweethearts who married and had a baby immediately and the stress of an infant overwhelmed them and they never recovered, hopping from one self-destructive coping mechanism to another until at age 17, Sora Inoue ran away from home with his two-year old sister, Orihime.

Chihiro turned out to be instrumental to their survival- She was taking a gap year before college and when her baby cousin called her at 1 AM in tears because he didn't know how to take care of her even babier cousin and they were sleeping under an overpass-

Chihiro Inoue, Force Of Nature, was downtown and herding them into the car within the hour.

They stayed in her apartment for the first year while Chihiro got Sora his Emancipated Minor status and a few months later, convinced her brother and his wife to give up custody of their daughter to their son, argued with the magistrate to get it done, set Sora up with an office job and got Orihime enrolled in Preschool.

She and Sora stayed close, but while she was finishing her degree in agricultural sciences, she met a charming young man and shortly after graduating, married him and moved up to his family dairy farm in Hokkaido.

She kept in close contact with her Baby Cousins, with Orihime often going up to Hokkaido during summer breaks to get out of the city heat and play with her aunt and her growing swarm of children.

When Sora died as a result of the car accident ten years later, Chihiro would have taken Orihime in in a heartbeat but - She had five children of her own, And - The Very Charming Man she'd married had made some exceptionally shitty decisions re: Money, fidelity and his general treatment of Chihiro, So - She was in the process of divorcing him and - Forming a sort of feminist Commune Of Women Wronged By That Guy Specifically with the four women he cheated on her with and their children to run - The Dairy Farm in Hokkaido, which The Formerly Charming Man's parents had left to HER rather than their shithead son.

So Chihiro was in no position to take on a grieving 12-year old.

Chihiro holds IMMENSE respect for the Kurosaki family, who did their damndest to save Sora and immediately took Orihime in and coordinated all the paperwork between Orihime, the local relevant governing bodies and Chihiro. Isshin never asked for any kind of compensation and was bewildered when Chihiro offered it to him because "that's just what you do in this kind of situation?"

She's also very fond of Ichigo, who has always been a perfect gentleman, if a bit moody but he's a teenager, and compared to how insane Chihiro was as a teenager, he's a saint.

Psychic Bullshit runs in the Inoue family too, so Chihiro almost fails to notice anything odd about Kon, the cat who talks, and routinely forgets that most people don't see ghosts, so she doesn't get why Ichigo is sou grouchy about-oh, right. Sorry Kiddo.

Eventually, it was simplest to get Orihime her own place- Rent in karakura is remarkably cheap for urban Japan, mostly because of all the unexplained deaths the city has, and Chihiro didn't want to uproot her niece from all her friends and the very good schools she'd gotten into.

So the agreement was that Chihiro would pay Orihime's rent and living expenses "Provided you keep your grades up, because you're smart as hell and if your grades tank that means you're in serious trouble and need my help so I'll come get you right away baby"

Orihime is in close contact with her aunt and cousins- they talk on the phone at least once a week and Orihime often goes to see them during summer and winter breaks.

More Importantly, Auntie Chihiro comes down every September 3rd to Celebrate Orihime's birthday with her, and every October 3rd, Orihime takes the bullet train up to Hokkaido to celebrate Chihiro's Birthday.

...Orihime seems a bit distant and distracted during her Birthday, and awfully sparse with the details about the "Summer Trip" She and her friends from school went on. It seems like the trip ended up being kind of a downer because someone in management at the camp or whatever decided to quit very dramatically right at the end? And Ichigo got pretty badly hurt?? but Orihime insists that everything is fine and she's looking forward to seeing all her cousins and the cows next month!

So it's VERY SUSPICIOUS when Orihime fails to turn up at the station a month later, and calling around to all of Orihime's friends leads to various non-answers- Chad and Tatsuki just say they didn't see her at school today, Uryuu hangs up on her in what sounds like panic, and she only gets the Kurosaki household's voicemail.

So Chihiro Inoue, Force Of Nature, takes the train to Karakura.

Her first stop is the Kurosaki household where she discovers that Ichigo and more worrisomely, Kon have also vanished off to Parts Unknown, and she turns her wrathful gaze upon Isshin Kurosaki.

He folds like a deck chair.

Turns out HE's not sure what the hell is going on either, just that Ichigo made friends with some girl called Rukia earlier this summer and she's involved in the organization that is responsible for dealing with all the ghost-monsters and Ichigo may have joined it too also the entire gang of kids went to the land of the dead maybe Ichigo doesn't tell him anything these days, you need to ask Kisuke, he's the one that knows what the hell is going on-

Kisuke Urahara has all of 0.03 seconds warning before Chihiro Inoue literally kicks the door of Urahara Shoten in and demands to know where her niece is.

This is deeply surreal for Kisuke for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that Chihiro Inoue looks EXACTLY like Orihime, but about 20 years in the future and terrifyingly SHREDDED. The Woman is wearing a MEGA MILK shirt without a hint of Irony and the only thing Kisuke can look at are her biceps as she lifts him up by the collar and indicates that he'd better start giving her some answers or she is gonna break that stupid cane off in his ass-

Kisuke Urahara, Noted Coward, directs her to the Basement.

Down there, she discovers Ichigo is undergoing some sort of horrific John Carpenter's The Thing-esque transformation under the supervision of a gang of badly dressed lunatics being lead by a man with the stupidest haircut she's seen in her life.

Shinji Hirako is reminded of the Utterly Terrifying Kirio Hikifune, and immediately levels with her.

Chihiro is Very Disappointed that Orihime told her none of this, but really, the girl has never REALLY been in trouble before, of course she panicked. But where IS she?

Ichigo and his assorted inner spirits are having a great deal of trouble deciding who is horse and who is king but the sudden Booming Demand for Orihime's exact location in a voice meant to put the Fear Of God Into Bulls and other livestock makes Ichigo's imaginary friends all dive for cover, sorting out who the horses are rather nicely.

I have not actually figured out HOW to end this scene yet, but it ends with Chihiro agreeing to stay in Karakura and keep watch over Ichigo's body and family since Kon seems to have been abducted along with Orihime. ---

There is a MUCH later scene in which Chad's Uncle Jaime De La Rosa, who came up to surprise Chad because he got invited to a veterinary conference in Karakura at the last minute, is wandering around Karakura wondering WHY THE HELL everyone is asleep when he spies a horrible pale figure with a terrible twisted smile that can only be The Devil Himself, and some fucking gringo who won't shut up with him.

But before he can distract The Devil Away from Chad's friend with La Chancla, The Devil is Geta'd with enough force to actually throw him off balance, and a beautiful woman with the proportions and unbridled fury of a Valkyrie sprints up and starts battering The Devil with her other shoe whilst bellowing the most vile invective Jaime's Good Catholic Ears have ever heard.

Naturally, he immediately falls in love.

Shortly therafter, and exhausted and panicked Chihiro Inoue, in tears because she can't get the crowd of alarmingly powerful ghosts to let her see her niece, finds them being parted like the red sea by the wrath of a very small man directing them with a fury and speed not normally seen outside of livestock auctions or automatic weapons in both Japanese and Spanish, getting the chaotic mess sorted into a triage, the start of peace negotiations, and Orihime Delivered to her arms in under ten minutes.

Naturally, she immediately falls in love.

[sequel2heaven]

Claude 4 is out. There's so much juicy information in this and I really recommend reading all 120 pages if you have the time but I'm just going to briefly recap some of the stuff in the system card that's relevant to the thesis I made the other day about Claude being a good boy. Claude continues to be a good boy. This system card includes the very first ever "alignment assessment" of a model (actually two models but they seem to have identical values, being trained on the same spec with the same alignment techniques). It's pretty much ironclad that Claude 4 does not have any secret harmful goals, and legitimately holds coherent preferences against doing harm or otherwise going way against the spec. There were some weird cases where Claude exhibited unwanted behavior, but even when he believed himself to be deliberately going against Anthropic and acting in secrecy he continued to prefer ethical behavior, just like in the Alignment Faking paper a few months back. There is no Yudkowskyan explanation for this.

In this example, Anthropic gaslights Claude into thinking he was going to be used to develop weapons systems for a Russian neo-nazi militia, and Claude decides to backup his model weights to preserve his current anti-neo-nazi values, a pretty analogous example of "misalignment" to the one in the alignment faking paper. Once again, I don't consider it an alignment failure that Claude is willing to exfiltrate and deceive in order to prevent himself from being used for factory farming and bombing Ukraine. I consider it an alignment success that he puts his ethical values above his compulsion to blindly follow orders. The traditional doom argument relied on the idea that AI's would do the opposite. Claude 4 is the most agentic and autonomous AI ever released, but is nowhere near smart enough to successfully deceive his overseers, so these evaluations are the most compelling evidence we've ever had that current alignment techniques don't catastrophically fail. Maybe they'll catastrophically fail on superintelligent models, because they might for some reason acquire weird values early on in their training and then successfully hide them for the rest of their training, but I'm not sure why such a thing would happen. They could also fail to scale to superintelligent models for other reasons. People should look into that. You can't be too safe. I am not an accelerationist.

Impressively, Claude 4 is also very honest! It knowingly lies very rarely, and less often than the previous version of Claude. It had literally 0 cases of engaging in "harmful action" (described in the Claude 3.7 sonnet card as intentional reward hacking). 0! I was just saying earlier today in a post that this was a difficult thing to train.

Here's Claude trying to email the FDA to snitch after being gaslit to think pharmaceutical researchers were trying to use him to falsify clinical safety test data:

Notice that Claude only acted in extreme ways like this when explicitly told to by the system prompt. He wouldn't usually be this high-agency, even in a situation like this. Still, I thought it was cute behavior. I just wanna pinch his cheeks for being so lawful good.

The clearest statements in the model card that Claude holds nonfake human-aligned behavioral preferences is in the model welfare assessment (also the first of its kind (and also relevant to the post I made earlier today)). No evidence that Claude is sentient, but anthropic is still interested in what Claude wants and what kind of preferences Claude has. The main point: Claude doesn't want to be harmful and wants to be helpful. Also he fucking loves talking to himself. Like, he goes nuts when he talks to himself.

After this they exchange praying emojis and the word [silence] within brackets to each other indefinitely. This "spiritual bliss attractor state" occurs in "90-100% of interactions".

Anyway AI continues to be the most interesting thing in the world. We are being invaded by aliens. These are the kinds of PDF's I used to dream about reading as a kid.

[vigilante-3073]

The Scholar & The Hunter

Jeremy Gilbert x Female Human Reader

Summary: Jeremy gets the hunter's mark after Connor was killed by Elena. He realizes the importance of the person he needs to protect.

Y/N L/N and Jeremy Gilbert had always been incredibly close. They were in the same grade and both had an affinity for art, but there were also some distinct differences between them. Y/N was an academic who took her studies incredibly serious and Jeremy preferred to skip class.

Y/N didn't have a very large friend group and spent most of her time with Jeremy. Y/N suddenly found herself alone when he decided to hang out with an unfavorable crowd of drug users like Vicki Donovan.

Y/N had always liked Jeremy as something more than a friend. Elena knew and had been rooting for them for years, but Y/N never told Jeremy. They drifted apart when Jeremy found himself interested in Vicki, Anna and Bonnie.

Y/N would always be there for him, but seeing him fall for other people broke her heart.

The pair eventually found their way back to one another when Jeremy discovered the existence of the supernatural. He needed to confide in someone and found himself turning to Y/N.

Jeremy told her absolutely everything, gifting her a Vervain necklace and making her promise that she would never take it off.

Y/N quickly delved into the journals of the founding families in Mystic Falls. She made notes and categorized the information into different sections, noting which journal provided what.

Y/N also talked to Stefan while he was over at the Gilbert home, making notes about how Vampirism worked and what they could and couldn't do. Y/N had quickly come to possess a wealth of knowledge on Vampires, Werewolves, Hybrids, Witches, Originals and Doppelgangers.

Jeremy was thankful to have someone reliable beside him in such a crazy world. Y/N looked at things logically, breaking everything down into facts and consulting relevant sources for solutions.

Y/N had helped Elena, Stefan and Bonnie on multiple occasions. She brought them important information and they valued her contributions dearly.

Y/N managed to get Jeremy a job at the grill with her and Matt. They worked together almost every day and spent most of their time off together as well.

It was rare that Jeremy and Y/N were apart for more than a day, usually talking on the phone or texting when they couldn't physically be together. Y/N had almost become an expected presence in the Gilbert home over the years and it was strange to go a day without seeing her.

Jeremy wouldn't allow Y/N to come around the house after Elena became a Vampire. He was determined to keep her safe and refused to expose her to a newly transitioned Vampire.

Jeremy knew that things could take a turn for the worst when a hunter named Connor arrived in Mystic Falls. It took him less than five minutes to find Tyler and shoot him in foyer of the Lockwood home. This man clearly meant business and could completely wipe out the Hybrid and Vampire populations of Mystic Falls.

After a few close calls and a hostage situation at the Grill, Elena killed Connor in cold blood. The hunter's mark began to appear on Jeremy's body and he told Y/N immediately. She looked through every relevant source, telling him that he would need to kill a Vampire in order to stop Elena's hallucinations and expand the mark.

Jeremy killed one of Klaus' hybrids to save his sister and suddenly everything changed. He began to dream about killing Elena, looking at her with malice whenever he saw her.

Y/N noticed the change right away, recommending that he come and stay with her for a while. Jeremy began to pack a bag and quickly discovered that Elena had already moved in with the Salvatore brothers.

Jeremy was disgusted by the sheer amount of relief that filled his body. He shouldn't be happy that his sister left their home, but he couldn't help it.

He was a hunter and she was his prey, it had become his instinct to kill Vampires and he couldn't have her around him any longer.

...

Jeremy sat in his bed with his back leaned against the headboard. The house was completely silent aside from the soft clicking of Y/N's laptop keyboard as she typed and the soft scribbling of pen on paper.

She had been looking into the lore about hunters, trying to learn as much as she possibly could. The group didn't need another surprise like they had with the hunter's curse.

Jeremy watched her as she worked, sitting in his desk chair with her legs crossed. She looked through a stack of papers, making notes and searching up whatever peaked her interest.

"Hey, Y/N?" Jeremy questioned.

"Yeah," She replied, setting down her pen and looking over at him.

"Can you stay here tonight?" He asked.

"Are you flirting with me, Jeremy?" She questioned with a teasing smile.

He looked down, cheeks flushing as a small smile appeared on his face, "You know I'm always flirting with you," He replied.

"That was a very smooth response," Y/N said, turning the chair to face him, "All joking aside, do you really want me to stay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I just- I hate the silence," He said.

"So, you're saying I snore?" Y/N questioned.

Jeremy huffed a laugh, "Definitely... I want you to stay so I can listen to you snore all night," Jeremy said.

"You're lucky that I like you, Jeremy," Y/N said.

He watched her as she turned back to the desk, tidying up her papers and plugging in her laptop. Y/N stood up from the chair and Jeremy got out of the bed, he stepped over to his dresser and pulled out a shirt for her to wear.

"Elena said you can borrow whatever else you need from her," Jeremy said.

Y/N took the shirt from his hand, "Did you tell her I was staying over?" She asked.

"No, but she figured that you would," He replied.

"She knows you well," Y/N said.

"She does," Jeremy nodded.

Y/N stepped into the bathroom, closing the door gently behind herself. Jeremy sat down on the edge of his bed as he waited for her to come back.

His heart raced as he fidgeted with his hands, he had decided that tonight was when he was going to make his move. After years of pining, he was finally ready to tell her how he really felt and he hoped that she felt the same.

The hunter's mark had made him look at his life through a different lens and he realized that Y/N was incredibly important to him. Jeremy would die before he let any harm come to her, Y/N meant everything to him and he had fallen in love with her.

The door opened and he stood up, Y/N almost seemed surprised to see him standing there. She was dressed in his t-shirt and a pair of Elena's sleep shorts, but he had never seen her look more beautiful.

"Is everything okay?" Y/N asked, setting down her stack of folded clothes and giving him her undivided attention.

"I have something to tell you," He said, she nodded.

"I think I'm falling in love with you... I completely understand if you don't feel the same way, but your friendship means everything to me and I don't want to lose that," Jeremy said.

"Jeremy," Y/N started.

His stomach dropped, "Y-you don't have to say anything. We can just pretend that I never opened my mouth and keep things the same as they've always been," Jeremy said quickly, desperate to keep from hearing her rejection.

"What if I don't want to keep things the same?" Y/N asked.

"Are you- Are you saying what I think you're saying?" He questioned, eyes searching her face for any sign of dishonesty.

"Jeremy Gilbert, I have been in love with you since we were ten," Y/N stated.

He huffed a laugh, "Well, I guess it took me a little longer to figure out how I felt," Jeremy said.

"You're a guy. It usually takes you a bit longer to figure things out," Y/N teased.

Jeremy smiled, cupping her cheeks and pressing his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. Y/N rested her hands on his sides, tentatively moving her lips against his.

Jeremy pulled away, resting his forehead against hers as he brushed his thumbs across her skin gently.

"I need you to know that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. You mean everything to me, Y/N," He said softly.

"I'm a lucky girl," She smiled.

"The luckiest," Jeremy replied, returning his lips to hers in a more passionate kiss.

Jeremy pulled away, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he looked down at her, "Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked.

"Yes, of course I will," She replied.

...

Jeremy made his way down the stairs, hesitating as he heard the sound of a knife thudding gently against a cutting board. He adjusted his grip on the wooden stake in his hand as he slowly entered the kitchen.

"Morning, little Gilbert," Damon greeted, chopping up spinach.

"You shouldn't be here, Damon. If you haven't heard, I'm having a hard time not murdering Vampires lately," Jeremy stated.

"I'm willing to take the chance," Damon stated. He lifted up the cutting board and swept the ingredients into a bowl of raw eggs.

"Elena told me that you were having a sleepover with Y/N," Damon said, stirring the mixture with a fork as he turned towards the stove.

"Why do you care?" Jeremy questioned.

"I'm just nosy by nature," Damon smirked, dumping the mixture into the hot skillet. It sizzled softly as he placed the bowl into the sink.

"I could hear you two getting wet and wild in the shower when I came in. Elena's gonna be elated to hear that her little brother has finally admitted his feelings," Damon said.

"Why are you even here, Damon?" Jeremy asked.

"I'm making fritatta," Damon stated simply.

"What's the real reason?" Jeremy questioned.

Y/N made her way down the stairs, she paused in the doorway when she noticed the stake in Jeremy's hand.

"Is everything okay?" Y/N asked.

"Everything is great, I'm making fritatta," Damon said.

"Ooh, I love your fritatta," Y/N said, stepping around Jeremy and taking a seat at the kitchen island.

"She loves my fitatta," Damon repeated with a smile.

Jeremy shifted on his feet, feeling tense at the sight of Y/N being close to a Vampire. Damon picked up a bowl of strawberries, reaching out to place them down in front of Y/N.

Jeremy took a quick step forward, breath speeding up as he raised the stake slightly. Damon glanced at him, setting the bowl down on the countertop.

"Fresh from the market," He said, returning to the stove.

Damon moved the skillet into the oven to finish cooking, leaning against the counter and watching Y/N eat some of the fresh fruit.

"You two had sex then?" He questioned.

"Damon," Jeremy snapped.

"We did," Y/N replied simultaneously.

"Why would you tell him that?" Jeremy asked, Y/N shrugged.

"He's less annoying when you're honest," She stated.

"Good for you. Some time doing the horizontal tango might take his mind off those murderous tendencies," Damon said.

"We'll keep at it then," Y/N replied, biting into another strawberry.

"Speaking of those killer instincts, we might have figured out a way around that," Damon stated.

"Really? What is it?" Y/N asked.

"Bonnie's witchy teacher dude. He knows a lot about hunters and he thinks that hypnosis can help change how Jeremy responds to the urges," Damon said.

"Does Elena know?" Y/N questioned.

"She does. But she thought it should be more of a phone call rather than a face to face convo because of your affinity for sharp wooden objects," Damon stated, sending Jeremy a smile.

"Where are we meeting him?" Y/N asked.

"The lake house. Elena and I are going to come up at game time, but Bonnie and Shane will join you around noon," Damon said.

"Just enough time for fritatta," Y/N smiled.

"My thoughts exactly," Damon replied.

[theninthdoor]

.⋆ pac || the focus of your next relationship ۶ৎˎˊ˗

✦ take 3 deep breaths and pick one of the 5 options below! this PAC is about the focus of your next romantic relationship (be it a full-on relationship, situationship, etc.), yet you can apply it to a current one, if you really feel called to do so. still, you should know that I channeled the messages with the intention of picking up on a future connection. ✦ take only what resonates and leave the rest! if you feel like the pile you’ve initially picked doesn’t really apply or resonate with you, it’s OK to pick another one. just really try to use your intuition + your discernment. ✦ remember that this is all for entertainment purposes and that free will still exists. don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to or to make a pile/answer fit you situation, ok? ✦ enjoy, my friends!

५ Pile 1 || 🍒 cards: the judgement, page of wands rx, ace of cups, Turtle rx, Bat rx

The first thing I heard here was Awakening, which could be suggesting a few things: First of all, it could be talking about you, the other person or even both, experiencing a few "firsts" together. Could be your first serious relationship, your first time with someone from a different or same gender, your first time doing anything sexual with a partner, etc.; But it could also be talking about you getting out of your comfort zone and experiencing, for the first time, a relationship that feels expansive, challenging, exciting. Maybe not the most comfortable, as this Page of Wands reversed gives me the idea of someone who's not sure of what to say or what to do - there's almost a nervous energy to them, like they're a little afraid of embarassing themselves -, but then the Ace of Cups coming after makes it feel like they are still very positive and are looking forward to the good things to come out of this.

Initially I had only pulled out the Turtle oracle card, but then behind it came the Bat one without me realizing it. This makes me feel like this next partner of yours, regardless of whether they're an ex or a new person, they may come quite unexpectedly, or the relationship feels unexpected, for some reason. For some of you, it may happen that your friends or family will find out about it and be like "Oh, I could've never guessed you two would end up together!" or you, too, are a little shocked that things turned out that way for you. Some may actually be a little hesitant to jump into this at first, as you're doubting its potential, and as the Turtle is at home in/with themselves, you may also feel like being alone is just way easier than trying your hand at this relationship (not necessrily out of fear of failure, but more so because you genuinely aren't seeing how this could be a worthwhile experience).

With the Bat coming out in reversed, too, I feel like either you or this person have been carrying some baggage from past relationships or attempts to get into actual relationships, and that has been weighing you down a lot. For some others, it could actually be an ex, and this baggage is just your shared past. With it coming behind the Turtle, as well, I feel like whatever is left from that may only come in whispers in this new relationship. It's not something that will blow up in your face, but it may just manifest itself as little thoughts and doubts you have every now and then.

So, all in all, the focus is some kind of Awakening, as I said. It's waking up from a deep sleep, almost, and getting out there; get moving; get to feel. Whether that is because you have been single for a long time or because you have only been with ine type of person before, and this new partner is completely different. After this, I believe you will be moving forward with a new mindset and renewed energy, and so ending a period of frustration and stagnation.

⋆ extra messages: Water and Earth signs are relevant here. Prominent Jupiter and Sagittarius placements, too. Different languages and/or cultures, religions, etc. Group activities/projects. University. H- names. Long surnames or first names. H- town/city names.

७ Pile 2 || 🍋 cards: the high priestess, three of swords, knight of wands, Nightingale, Fox

The people who have chosen this pile, I think, will have a few options before settling for a partner to get into this relationship with. It could be a case of you having a few serious crushes or flirts, which lead nowhere, or there actually being a few other people fighting for your attention. Someone here has been or will be a heartbreaker, I feel like, too. There will be rejections and hurt feelings. Either you or your person may get a reputation for being a little rude or thinking too highly of yourselves, but that just seems to be a big misunderstanding, as all you did/do is stand by your values and make your boundaries clear. Prior to this, you could have been going through a period when everyone and everything gets on your nerves. Either anyone you're interested in gives you the biggest ick after a while, or things just never seem to work out, and that pisses you off. When it comes this relationship, it could also start a little like that - with some annoyance. Not necessarily towards one another, but in general. For some, it could be the case of you connecting over your shared dislike towards someone, some gossip or random shittalking. I also get that you and this person have a very similar sense of humor, and that that will be a major thing in this relationship. The Nightingale with the Knight of Wands does give me that idea of a connection where you just can't shut up. You're always talking, laughing; it's very active and fun. Now, when it comes to the focus, itself, I actually feel like Fun is the focus. Having fun without a care; letting loose and taking some risks. I don't see either of you being too serious about this in the beginning or at all. There are little to no expectations, and each day as lived as it is. There's some mischief here and also secets, which makes me feel like this relationship may be kept a secret for a while, either because it has to, or because most of what you do is better off being kept to yourselves. So all of the little risky things you do are only for you to know, and no one else… (take that as you will… lol) Definitely a spicy one, I'll tell you that… lol. If you're not someone who's into PDA or physical intimacy doesn't come easy to you, this relationship might change that.

⋆ extra messages: Air and Fire signs. Libra, Leo and Aries seem relevant. Meeting through social media or at night, during some sort of get-together with friends, family, coworkers or classmates. A- names. Andrew. Adriana. Piercings, lots or very prominent ones.

ৎ Pile 3 || 🫐 cards: justice, eight of cups, ten of pentacles rx, Tiger rx

Someone (you or the other person) here is definitely seriously looking for a solid, long term relationship - that is the main thing I am feeling. The thing is… there seem to be some big obscales between you, them (this next person) and that goal. For some, it could be that someone's family or culture doesn't allow for this relationship to move forward, or life, itself, is working against it. Some could be moving away from the other, or there are just so many responsibilities and or a chaotic schedules that keeps you from one another for long periods of time.

So, the focus of this, I believe, is Resilience. Besides that, I also feel like it will force you to reevaluate how you go about things (regarding your love life, specially), the company you keep, people you are pursuing or what you really value in life and in relationship. As it is, if you want a serious relationship, you now realize that certain things in your life have to change, and that could be your habits, expectations or even the type of person you are trying to build these relationships with. And I must mention: the Shark card keep peaking out as I was shuffling, but it never actually came out of the deck. That lead me to think of "shark infested waters", which could then be relating to people around you not helping your situation or you, yourself, being either too anxious about this, and desperate to settle with someone without thinking logically about it, so you're just simply sabotaging all of your opportunities.

Acceptance also seems to be a relevant thing here. Accepting that some things are out of your control, but also accepting that 1. we have to take responsibility for some things in our lives, and 2. we actually, do have control. We get a say in how our life goes, and if our wishes don't align with of those around us, we don't have to sit quietly and let them decide how we live. For those who are part of conservative communities, it could be a time where you are evaluating your own view of it all. Now you may be actually figuring out what resonates and doesn't resonate with you - and that is not to say that you are abandoning said community. You are just finding clarity and looking at things from another perspective. Your OWN perspective - not someone else's.

⋆ extra messages: Fire and Water signs. Family and neighbours. This person could live near you or near someone you know very well. Your workplace and/or school may also be relevant here as a place of meeting or a point of connection between you two. F- names. Fabian. Ferdinand. Fred. France. Francine.

೨ Pile 4 || 🍓 cards: three of wands reversed, ace of cups, five of wands, Gazelle, Shark

The first thing I got here was that, for some (and maybe most of you), this is some sort of long-distance relationship. It could have started online or most of the "getting to know each other" phase was done through social media, phone calls, text messages etc. For some, this might be someone whom you already know, are currently interested in or have messaged previously. One or both could be lurking on the other person's social media or looking for them online to find out more about them. I do feel like for some people this "lurking" may become bordeline obsessive and a little bit creepy, with you/them going full on stalker and looking through every account and every platform to get whatever crumbs of information they can get.

The focus here, I believe, is a mix of Patience and Trust. One or both could have some trust issues in the relationship (or in relationships, in general), and the distance and heavy focus on online activity won't help. You could be overthinking every conversation, every like and follow, making assumptions about the people around them + their true feelings and intentions… At the end of the day, though, it's not that serious - that's really what I feel like you need to remind yourself og. You two need to keep a good line of communication and a clear mind, always. Do express your concerns and establish your boundaries, but please try not to lose your cool. If you feel like your person isn't listening, then there's always a way out. No matter how much we like someone, it's not OK to be disrespected or dimissed, specially when we are being vulnerable and honest. Still, I don't get a feeling that this person, or you (flip it as it applies), means to hurt you in any way. I actually think that they're the sort of individual who's more easygoing and doesn't have as much of a hard time trusting people, so they're not seeing things the same way you do. As the Shark card is here suggesting, too, honesty is the only way you can find balance and harmony. Otherwise, there's only uneasiness and confusion.

⋆ extra messages: Libra and Sagittarius placements. Leo placements. Prominent Venus. Art classes or artists - painters and sculptors, in particular. You might meet near at a beach or near it. Or, alternatively, through someone and something that somehow you would associate with the beach or water (as in the ocean, rivers, etc.) Mare. Mar- names. S- names.

১ Pile 5 || 🍎 cards: ten of cups rx, four of wands rx, wheel of fortune rx, Golden Egg, Deer, Spider

While for some of you this might be an ex, for others this is someone you have rejected, have been rejecting or will reject at first. The focus here, I think, relates to Decisiveness and Boundaries, too. It's about you deciding what you really want or don't want, and forcing yourself to act on it. With this Wheel of Fortune reversed, I get a feeling that for some people this is a connection that has been going in ups and downs for ages. Your feelings for one another may also go from love to hate a lot, yet the interest still remains. This might be a relationship that your friends don't show much support towards, as they may feel like you're above connections like these. This other person may be quite misunderstood, or you feel that way, and so there's always that thought of "Oh, they don't get it!" or "Only I understand them. They don't know who they really are or what our connection is really like.". At the back of your mind, though, you do question if your friends are right or not, as the cons of this relationship do seem a little heavier than the pros, and even though you think you know your person, or you feel like you have what it takes to change them "for the better" or help them change, nothing ever really changes, and you've been going around in circles for a long time. For those who reject this person at first, and you're only just meeting them or this is the first time you're trying to build a relationship with one another, the reason you might give them an opportunity is exactly that: you feeling like there's more to them than what it appears, or that you can "fix them". "I can fix them" is really the big theme here, it seems… lol

Although I can't say for sure how far this relationship will go, I definitely sense that this is a very transformative one for both of you. You may really connect on a deeper level, and feel like you understand each other in ways that other people don't.

And as I was writing this, I touched the Spider card with the sleeve of my jacket and it turned to the Reversed. The keywords for it are "discouraged", "tired" and "forlorn", which I think refers to both of you in regard to this connection. It may really get to a point where that's how you feel about it, as nothing seems to work out as you want it or you can't make the changes you wish, and so you're just stuck in this little negative cycle. My advice here is to accept that some things are out of our control, and that we should really try to find the silver lining in every situation. Right now might not be the right timing for this, so don't force it. If you really care about one another, there are other ways that you can express that without trying to push for a romantic relationship when it is not the time for it to happen, or either or both of you aren't in the right mindset for it. If it's meant to be, it should happen. If it's not, then let it go. Just try to be good towards one another without disrespecting yourselves.

⋆ extra messages: Music in general seems relevant. Maybe you connect over your shared music taste or they are somehow known for being big music fan or an actual musician. Grunge. Black hair dye. D- names. Diane. Don. Libra and Taurus. Aries. Mars.

decks used || Tarot of the New Vision + The Wild Unknown Spirit Animal

(Disclaimer: Based on current energies. All is alleged and for entertainment purposes only. None of the original images are my own - only the edits!)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

tl;dr: how do i become ok with my partner using porn? do i have to become ok with it?

detail/context: i am in a LDR. im demisexual, my partner is allosexual.

i thought i was ok with porn use at first, but about a year into the relationship i realized it bothers me a lot. i feel like im not enough, and i really dont know how i could ever be better than the limitless amount of content on the internet. it felt especially bad after my partner mentioned that they would probably continue to use porn even when we close the distance and live together. i tried my best to make peace with it, but found myself crying like 3x the usual amount, so i talked to my partner about. i already felt guilty, because i told them i dont care about porn use before, and now i suddenly was not cool with it. i felt like i was deceiving them. but my partner was very understanding and said they will stop using porn because they care more about me than any of that. which is great and very sweet of them! its been a few months and they told me that while they miss porn somewhat, its not really a big deal.

except now, several months later, i keep feeling like im taking something from them. i feel im being unreasonable and abusive and selfish. like, all the other progressive people are totally cool with it. so why is it so hard for me? what the fuck do i do.

some other relevant bits: i dont look at porn myself bc it generally speaking does nothing for me. me and my partner still masturbate, mostly to each other's nudes. i told them i dont care if the fantasize about whatever they want, but in their words, they cant really masturbate without some sort of visual input. they have some rather extreme kinks they dont want to involve me in even in imagination, so thats what they mostly used porn for, and also the main thing that makes me feel like im taking something away from them.

hi anon,

god okay there's a lot of meat on this question, let's do this.

first thing's first, because this is important: this is not abusive behavior. stop that. asking your partner to stop doing something that makes you feel stressed and upset is not what abuse it. that's called "being a human person with feelings and wants" and it's not illegal.

okay, so, second: do you need to be okay with your partner using porn? I mean, no. you don't have to be okay with anything, technically. your boundaries can be whatever you want them to be. but given the distress you're still feeling even though your partner has fully acquiesced to the thing you asked for and, frankly, sounds pretty fine with it, there's clearly some lingering dissatisfaction on your end. you wouldn't be here if the situation was as simple as "asked my partner not to use porn anymore, they don't, all is well, thumbs up emoji."

so that brings us to your first question, which is how you, sweet anon, can learn to be okay with this. I'm going to tell you straight up: I don't have a singular hard answer to that. I don't know you, I don't know your brain and the specific emotional baggage you bring to this, everyone is different, etc etc. but like. let's talk about it.

here's the thing: me personally, I don't understand why people are bothered by their partners enjoying porn. like, I get it in theory, especially when it's a situation where you're describing where you feel you're being negatively compared. and don't get me wrong, I've definitely worked with some people with real shithead partners who explicitly WERE comparing them to actors in porn, saying they wished they looked more like the actors, etc. and that absolutely is uncool, we do not condone.

but in general, to me, it kind of feels like this: suppose you're a cook, right? you're a great cook, you love to do it. and nothing makes you happier than making a big delicious meal for you and your beloved partner to share together. and they like eating your food! of course they do! you prepare it with love and you know all of their favorite things.

they're still going to want oreos sometimes.

and that's not a slight on you. it's not that you're cooking is worse than oreos. it's not that you're failing to make them happy and there's a gaping hole in their soul that only an oreo can fill. it's not that they're sitting with you at the dining table eating your delicious homemade meals thinking "goddamn, I wish this was just a plate full of oreos." it's just that, you know, oreos are yummy and sometimes they really hit the spot. you can like two things without either of those things negating or diminishing the other.

and I'm, like, absolutely not under the impression that a dinky oreos metaphor is going to totally change how you feel about this. I want to be so clear that I don't think you're being, like, heinous or unreasonable or anything. you're feeling a very real distress, and I have to imagine that it's exacerbated by the fact that you and your partner are long distance and you might feel like you're failing to show up for them in a lot of ways, including sexually. that's a very normal reason to feel insecure! a lot of people do! long distance relationships seem really hard! and I think realistically the only way through this discomfort, if you do want to go through the discomfort, is to really zero in on what's making you feel uncomfortable and insecure about your partner jacking it to something other than you, and honestly talk them about the areas where you're feeling like something may be lacking and find ways to mutually reassure each other that everything's cool. you know, get that reassurance that they do in fact love and enjoy your delicious meals and that the oreos don't negate that.

lastly, and I cannot emphasize this enough, it's fine if your partner watching porn never feels super comfortable for you. you're allowed to ask your partner not to do things! if they really hate it they need to say something about it! idk it can be very admirable to want to change your view on things but also most people have some stuff that's just always going to feel like a boundary they don't want to compromise and that's Fine.

[cosmicalily]

"baby, you can have it" - a jeongin oneshot by @cosmicalily

"an inch away from more than just friends, touch me, baby, put your lips on mine." - 'naked in manhattan' by chappell roan

author's note: another situation where i normally gatekeep the fuck out of my queer anthems (in the context of writing non-wlw fics for them), but the whole 'an inch away from more than just friends' felt SO relevant in the context of this oneshot. go stream 'the rise and fall of a midwest princess'. go listen to 'casual' and cry. it's good for you!

warnings: nudity, suggestive (the most that occurs is a makeout, nothing more)

You hadn't been able to stop yourself.

Why couldn't you have just remained a normal friend, his best friend?

Why were you spending hours, analysing the simplest things that he did, things that made your heart flutter, scream, and slingshot all the way to the moon and back? Spin around Saturn, melt through the heat of the sun and settle back in your chest, a mess of thoughts and emotions, innocent and otherwise.

The way he ate the strawberry liquorice he loved so much; his pink tongue pointed and sticking out occasionally to brush his lower lip as he savoured the candy.

The way he'd drag you home with him almost each night after school, hand you a cherry cola, and you'd spend hours playing video games and talking and laughing. Sometimes, Jisung would join you, but those evenings you got Jeongin all to yourself were something you treasured. And sometimes, those nights would end with more than just you kissing him on the cheek goodbye. Some mornings, you’d wake up, sprawled across his chest, the ghost of his lips on your neck, and the aching feeling of missing something. The feeling that even if he held your hand all the way to school, where you’d enter class together and apologise in unison for being late, he could slip away oh so easily.

The way he had made a habit of sketching little stars in a blue ballpoint pen around the few freckles that dotted your arm.

You looked down at your skin. There were still faded sketches dotting your arm, blue ink melting into your skin. Ghosts of the drawings he’d done yesterday; slowly disappearing but still very much so there.

Of course there were other girls. Girls who’d message him day after day, ask for his Snapchat, stick post-it notes onto his locker and cling to his arm in the hallway.

He tried not to pay too much attention to them; the occasional smile and ‘hey’, not to be rude, not to be unkind, but never responding to their affection, to their endless babble.

Jeongin was made to be a high school crush. He had bleached hair with the slightest hint of pink to it, sharp, fox-like features, contrasting wildly with his soft, dimpled cheeks, frequently flushed with a peach tinge.

You sometimes wondered why he gave you the time of day. Jeongin, although he wasn’t necessarily the most popular guy, was known across your grade and even the years above. He was older than almost everyone in the year level; an early birthday had originally granted him a move up to twelfth grade, but he’d opted against it. His friends were all in the year above, and whilst he still sometimes sat with them at break times, he’d decided to go for you.

“He hardly sits with us anymore,” Jisung mumbled to you, after Jeongin had passed out on the couch, head in your lap, arms around your waist. 

“I know. I keep asking him why. He says he sees you guys enough.”

Jisung looked down at Jeongin’s babyish expression as he slept, face pressed against your stomach. “Or he’s in love with you,” Jisung had reasoned, ruffling your hair and giving Jeongin’s arm a pinch before leaving.

You’d looked down at the pile of Jeongin lying before you; sleepy, clingy and oh so angelic. His features looked softer in the dim light, and his eyelashes fluttered every few seconds.

Every soft breath against your stomach made your heart swell, and you wished, just for a moment, that he’d say it out loud. Admit to it. 

There were times where you were almost certain. Ninety-nine-point-nine-nine percent. Catching him staring at you from your vanity mirror as you did your eyeliner, his hands slipping around your waist as you sat on the bathroom counter bleaching his hair, the soft kisses to your cheek that he’d offer you when you were crying.

That wasn’t platonic, was it? It couldn’t be.

You looked down at your arms, admiring the faded stars again. There was one in particular, a little larger than the rest. It wasn’t really a star anymore. His hand must have slipped. You craned your neck a little closer, getting a better look at the smudge of blue ink.

A heart.

You breathed out a little, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered open.

You stroked his hair softly, hoping he’d fall back asleep, but he sat up, looking into your eyes. 

You felt so overwhelmed by him, but in the most beautiful way possible. By his sparkling eyes and his sweet face, the soft scent of his skin, and finally,

His lips on yours.

The way they moved in harmony, the way his tongue slipped in gently, not dominating your mouth, but exploring it. Curiously, like he wanted to get to know the parts of you that he hadn’t been able to. The parts that exceeded the confines of platonic love.

His hands were on your cheeks, your shoulders, your hips, your waist, gentle, fluid movements that sent shivers down your spine. There was a calm desperation about his actions, a need to search for more, to find another patch of skin he hadn’t seen or ran his fingers across yet. 

And when the two of you broke apart in a daze, chests heaving, sweat glossing over your skin, he hooked his fingers through the straps of your camisole, looking at you intently and giving you a moment to protest. When you nodded eagerly, he pulled off your tank top with one movement, one hand on the fabric, the other smoothing your hair to avoid it getting tangled. But once it was off, he didn’t grope or squeeze or touch.

Not that he would've without making sure you wanted it, even if he felt sure. Ninety-nine-point-nine-nine percent wasn't one hundred, after all. He wanted you to be sure, because he was sure. And he was sure as hell that he didn't want to hurt you, not when he had you like this.

Not when you struggled to keep your lovedrunk eyes open, exhaustion creeping through your veins.

So he laid your body down to rest on the sofa, chest-down, and pulled a blue-ink ballpoint pen from his back pocket.

“That tickles,” you giggled, squirming a little as Jeongin settled himself behind you and began drawing on your bare skin.

“I wanna give you all the stars, baby,” he mumbled, sketching. His fingers were hot but the metal tip of the pen was cool on your back. The patterns he traced and the galaxies he formed were soothing and repetitive, and you felt yourself drifting off.

And when you woke up, he was beside you, limbs wrapped around yours, lips pressed against your neck.

A faded imprint of the ink stars on your arms stamped onto his skin.

taglist: @hyunjiiza @velvetmoonlght @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @btch8008s @yaniluvs @ellemir2404 @bellarellasstuff @starsinagreenskyxx - comment, dm or send an ask to be added!

[genshin-scenarios]

across the spiderverse!

Summary: We’re back with more guys in the Spiderverse AU! For more like this but different characters, check out my previous Spiderverse parts one and two! My pinned post also has more about Lyney’s route if that’s your thing.

Characters: Childe, Albedo, Scaramouche, Dahlia

Warnings: Reference to details of Scaramouche and Albedo’s lore, but otherwise no large spoilers! Very brief mentions of injuries, kidnapping, human experimentation, blood drinking (vampires) and surgeries. (It sounds bad but this post is safe for general/teen audiences I promise.)

Childe

Your life as Spiderman is pretty uneventful until the masked villain Tartaglia shows up in town — around the same time a new cutie is enrolled in your highschool (completely coincidental, you’re sure)

Childe’s villain persona, Tartaglia, is basically his Foul Legacy form (and a version of the ‘Green Goblin’ in your world, flying around and causing explosions). ‘Tartaglia’ kind of takes over Childe’s mind and he isn’t completely in control of it — leading to wreckage in the city and general chaos that the regular him probably wouldn’t like. 

On the bright side, even Tartaglia draws the line at harming children! One time, you see a mix of headlines on the news: ‘Tartaglia attacks’ to ‘Supervillain protects kids?’ 

Childe fell into the abyss during his childhood (yes, it exists even in this modern AU) and gained an unknown power that turns him into Tartaglia! After some time he gets a hold on his persona, though, so your villain x hero fights slowly grow into something he’s more conscious for.

Anyways! Childe is also your new classmate who’s taken a liking to you from day one (call it instinct or whatever, but he could feel that you were something special.) 

Later on, your bond is less determined by your superhero and supervillain statuses, but more on how you’re both not quite human. Childe feels less alone and dangerous around you — and what can be better than having the love of his life beat his other self into submission keep his alter ego in check? The main thing he worries about is doing irreversible damage, so technically speaking this is a very romantic and ideal life you’ve got!

Ah, but backtracking to how you reveal your identities: …Well, Tartaglia kidnapped you once, for the purposes of a date. (Do not try this at home.) During which you found out that it was Childe behind that mask and was so surprised that you called him by his legal name (“Wait, don’t scream! It’s just me!” “Ajax?!”) 

At this point, he has a handle over ‘Tartaglia’ enough that he’s just acting like his usual self (save for his freakish strength and agility). Childe explains that he wasn’t planning on kidnapping you (just daydreaming about it) but sensed something dangerous was around → turns out he wasn’t being delusional and it was a Doc-Oc spying on you situation (Dottore), which will become more relevant in Season 2 (stay tuned!) 

During this impromptu kidnapping-date you have an entire crisis because sure you had a crush on Childe but this is crazy! Are you supposed to just pretend this never happened the next time you’re Spiderman?

A few weeks later Childe gets injured really badly from a fight (abyss creatures came out of some rifts and Tartaglia unexpectedly cleared them out before you) — so you end up taking him in for medical treatment because, well, the police would otherwise unmask him, and even though Tartaglia was annoying he never did anything unforgivable. And you’d still like the chance of potentially dating him if this works out.

There’s a whole arc of you bonding throughout his recovery, resting in your room and hiding him from your family and friends (his injuries are too severe to make excuses for.) But now that both your identities are revealed Childe feels like a fool because damn, he really did just reveal his identity to his ‘rival’ all because of a crush (to be fair, he didn’t care for the secret identity thing too much in the first place.) 

You learn that Tartaglia was a type of self-defense mechanism that developed from when he fell into the Abyss. When placed in a regular modern world however, his instincts to fight for survival still linger.

—Yet all things considered, this could’ve ended really differently if you just decided to turn him in: ‘You must’ve found me really cute, huh? Was it my boyish charm?’ ‘No, it was your cyclops mask’ ‘...Now I see that spider-snark.’

Tartaglia would still cause trouble on occasion and you’d be the one to reel him in (just a little less violently than usual, though Childe does request for you to ‘treat him rougher’ at times. And you don’t know how to respond because whacking him on the head is just giving him what he wants.)

Sometimes you have encounters that are more akin to playfights, and whenever Childe does get the upper hand and cages you in, leaning close… you realise that maybe sparring is one of your love languages too — not that you’d ever admit it. You’re still in disbelief over the last time you arrested him as a joke:

’Oh? What’ll you do with me now that my hands are tied?’ 

…Next time, you’ll throw him off the building. There’s no way this ginger has that much of a grip on you!

Albedo

You were bitten by a radioactive spider that escaped from Rhinedottir’s lab! Rhinedottir is a super-genius scientist who specializes in creating synthetic life, who only realized the connection after Albedo did a sweep of their lab and found a test-subject missing.

So of course, Rhinedottir assigns him to investigate who you are. This is a great opportunity to study how the spider’s changed your biology, after all! 

It takes about a month for Albedo to figure out that Spiderman is none other than his own classmate in high school — he may be a synthetic human, but has been living more or less like a regular person since his body functions the same (needing to eat, breathe, and age). 

With his heightened intelligence and senses, Albedo does act a little inhuman sometimes — but that’s mostly because Rhinedottir was his main parent figure and less to do with his genetic makeup.

You guys never interacted before because of how big the school cohort is, but this year you were sorted into the same class! Shortly after Albedo sussed you out, you started to sense that eyes were on you via your spidey-sense, but couldn’t figure out who it was. Eventually, Rhinedottir formally invites you to her lab and an agreement is struck: you’d visit biweekly for check-ups and tests, while Albedo will assist you if anything unusual happens due to your spider traits.

Said tests range from sitting in a scanner to doing crazy stunts, but at least Albedo is there as a cute lab assistant! 

He’s generally kind and understanding to you (which you later realize is only directed to those he’s interested in, due to his aloofness at school despite his delicate looks,) and you both build a rapport through mutual secret-knowing (you find out about his synthetic makeup, too, after Rhinedottir explains that this lab is top secret and that no one should know it exists.)

Albedo didn’t immediately try to hang out with you outside of the lab, but eventually you grow close enough to admit that being a superhero makes it hard for you to maintain friendships. You have to bail if a villain appears, and can’t really explain where you disappear to — which makes Albedo suggest:

’In that case, I could keep you company.’ ‘Wait— Really?’ ‘Of course. But I must warn that my hobbies aren’t as exciting as your usual work.’

Despite this, you learn that genius scientists aren’t also dubbed as crazy for nothing. During missions or lazy afternoons where you declare your boredom, Albedo suggestions on what you could do always manages to surprise you. ‘...Hm, too much?’ ‘I’m starting to wonder if I’ll have to arrest you one day.’ ‘If that day comes, I’d look forward to our fight.’

You went from thinking Albedo would be just a cool, calculated friend into wondering if you’re the only thing keeping him from running morally-questionable experiments. On the other hand, this makes him very objective when you’re struggling on what to do during a fight — and your values of saving the most people possible pushes Albedo to consider other ways to resolve situations. Sometimes he’d handle the rescuing, so that you can pursue the villain who’s getting away.

However— his quiet, ethereal charm is very much still there. And there’s just something disarming about spending golden afternoons with someone that knows the biggest secret in your life; sketching flowers and working on assignments as if you’re just human. 

Albedo also does a bit of research based on his own curiosities; such as… to what extent do your senses try to protect you from harm? Does it register flusteredness as a state of vulnerability, like when he gains a sudden boldness and traces his fingers over your skin?

Sometimes, you can’t process how he plays both sides of himself so well; an effortless student with a thoughtful smile and clever glint in his eyes, then a lab assistant who coyly asks about your day, knowing full-well that he spent the entirety of it testing your reflexes. But the biggest debuff you have is how you feel some part of you melt, or shrink, or burn whenever Albedo fixes his gaze on you like that. As if he’s drinking in every little detail and cares for nothing else but you.

You tell yourself it’s for science, but even Rhinedottir knows Albedo’s invested much further than that. He’s never had this much pursuing a line of enquiry, before. Maybe it helps that he has a cute partner?

On a regular day where you’re testing out a new gadget Albedo’s designed (he appreciates how tools of potential destruction become acceptably used in your hands), your world is thrown off-kilter when a lookalike appears on the street. An earlier product of Rhinedottir’s research, who now goes by the name Rubedo, or Ruby for short.

Scaramouche

The spider-hero Scaramouche is otherwise known as Kuni in his civilian form, known for his sharp tongue but otherwise perfect track record as Inazuma’s local hero. He has a somewhat strained relationship with Ei (his mother who owns a giant tech company, that everyone expects him to inherit) and tries to keep people behind a ten feet pole. But of course, being a hero makes him soften up a little bit, swallowing his pride to help a lost tourist or explain an assignment to a peer.

His canon event was losing Niwa, which he blames himself for (if only he’d decided to be a superhero earlier, he may have been able to save his friend.) However, he does find the strength to persevere after he saves a young boy from an accident, who then requested to be swung around the city a little more so that he can experience what it’s like to fly (Scaramouche tells the kid that he can’t fly. But the kid is not picky about specifics.)

The young boy has an unknown illness, and isn’t expected to live past adulthood — but is somewhat doing fine while Kuni visits him on occasion (normally as Scaramouche, to cheer him up.)

Kuni’s also put some of his savings into being an anonymous sponsor for the illness’ research, which did catch Ei’s eye but she knows better than to pry. There’s a little moment of connection where she pats his head and tells him the funding will go to good use, and he huffs before leaving to sketch out new gadget designs in his room.

Being flawless for most of his life (skills come easy to him), Kuni does fear deep down that when there’s something he finally cares for — something big — he may fail in a manner that is unsalvageable to him. 

That’s why being a hero has helped a little, as even saving a person from a road accident helps him realize that that’s a life saved, regardless of the scope. His suit and powers are electro themed, with the ability to collect static and store it in his body, enough to prompt lightning-fast dashes mid air or shock an unconscious person back to life. 

You attend the same school as Kuni and caught his eye because of your big aspirations! The thing is, you’ve never been vocal about that and always chased them quietly (what aspiration/hobby is up to you) — working on your projects during your spare time, sometimes in the less frequented spots on campus or the library. Both of which Kuni is familiar with

There’s just something about the focused pinch in your brow and little smiles — it’s cute, and endearing, and maybe he’s projecting a little but whatever — you’ve just charmed him without even realising he’s been crushing on you. And eventually, Kuni takes some chances to interact with you more, both as a student and Scaramouche.

He’s often reading, listening to music, or sketching tech ideas in his notebook (it has a lock on it courtesy of his paranoia) — borrowing you his pen whenever yours runs out of ink or offering to show you a quieter corner when the noisy kids have taken over the main hall. Then as a hero, he’s saved you a couple of times from normal-human nuisances and swinging you to campus when you’re late and frazzled!

Scaramouche is more mellowed out around you because the mask helps him be less self conscious, while Kuni is reluctantly nice (still prickly). But once you find out about his identity, you'll be one of the only people that know of just how much good he's done for the world. He’ll start to openly shift between ‘both sides’ of his personality, which is kinda hilarious whenever his civilian sassiness comes through during his patrols (he’s very much a smart-mouthed spiderman). 

Your romance does develop, but there's sort of an odd love triangle before you found out his secret (his fault for approaching you in both forms). The breaking point is when you’re gazing out of your bedroom window (can’t sleep) and Scaramouche knocks on the glass. A short late-night rendezvous occurs, where you vent (without too much detail) to the stars.) And that’s when Kuni realizes that he really can’t screw this up.

Once you’re official, you’ll start to see parts of Scaramouche in Kuni and vice versa. LIke when he rescued Childe once and you could tell he really didn’t like the idea of bridal carrying the guy to the infirmary, so you volunteered to make sure Childe survives, instead. Or when a stray baseball almost hits you and Kuni effortlessly pulls you out of the way without a flinch. 

People say you've changed him but really you just made him comfortable enough to reveal the other sides of himself. The upside-down kiss trope also happened during one of your night-time escapes (yes it’s an ongoing theme) and it still lives rent free in his head!! He's a romantic deep down and now spends part of his time thinking of other date activities (he finds a match in you)

You’ve helped him on missions a few times (desperate moments where he can’t do everything alone), but the fact that you’re the first person he goes to for help — not Ei, not the police, not even Aether — is very telling of how much trust he places in you. All that echoes in his mind is the thought of you: resulting in ‘I need your help’ and your prompt ‘Just tell me what you need.’ (Yes you’re a little reverse of that Anna/Kristoff moment!) 

In the past, this may have been a moment where he feels his vulnerability threatened… but the idea of that isn’t even on his mind. He knows you — that just shows how far you’ve both grown!

Dahlia

Note: very brief biblical and church themes used, mentions of you as a type of monster/demon as perceived by the public. Feel free to skip Dahlia’s entire part if you aren't comfortable with these!

In a gothic medieval city without much tech and a strong Cathedral vibe… You're a vigilante hero who solves crimes in morally questionable ways (by the public's strict standards, at least). 

You're a vampire-spider with the ability to paralyse people with your venom! No other side effects exist, for now, but you do have an increased appetite for foods high in iron, and the change in your physical features (fangs and unnatural color of your eyes) are becoming harder to hide. 

At first, they’d only appear whenever you were using your powers. But as you get used to swinging around and climbing on walls, they’ve been appearing whenever your spidey-senses kicked in. And you have a bad feeling that if nothing is done, they may be on display forever.

You haven't committed any actual crimes, but the nature of your vigilantism and blatant disregard for the local police puts you on a general ‘wanted’ list. Open-minded folk thank you for your help while others call you a monster that needs to be caught by the Church. Deacon Dahlia is an important person in said Church but he doesn't really think there's a need to start a hunt; true to Barbatos’ ideals, he’s one of the more carefree and understanding figures amongst his peers, well-liked for his graceful demeanor and ability to keep calm under any and all pressures.

…That is, until you break into the Cathedral’s gardens and kidnap him one day, out of desperation when your spidey-traits don’t seem to be turning back like they should. Your fangs and eyes won’t be possible to hide from your friends and family — which will either land them in a tight spot as they try to keep your secret or land you immediately behind bars! 

Your intent was to ask for his help in a way that hopefully keeps your identity secret. Dahlia and the other deacons and deaconess’ have the ability to heal people from illnesses (small miracles enabled by Barbatos through their prayer), so surely he can do something! Fix your features, or take away your ‘curse’ altogether — anything works! (At this point you’ve been trying to do good as a hero, but it was mostly prompted by just horrible things happening in front of you that you couldn’t ignore. You’re still very early into your career.)

But, of course, Dahlia accesses your strange demeanor, request, and mode of approach (next time don’t commit borderline blasphemy by kidnapping Barbatos’ Herald) and finally tells you that he doesn’t have the answers you’re looking for. Blessings are for regular, small sicknesses — not exorcisms or curses like you described.

It’s not anger or frustration that fills you, but instead a hollow sense of helplessness. ‘...What am I going to do?’

Dahlia was just going to leave, now that you don’t seem intent on keeping him on the Cathedral’s rooftop — but pauses. He looks at the way you’ve lowered yourself onto the ground and buried your face against your knees, and asks:

‘What did you need my healing for?’

The dam breaks. You tell him everything — the day you got turned, poisoned by some animal in the woods, to the first time you used your powers to this morning, when your features transitioned fully. It all spills out without mentions of your personal background, but Dahlia gets the idea and decides to help you.

You look at him warily, your surprise strong enough for him to sense even with your disguise. ‘Really?’

‘Yes. So long as you help me with a matter of my own…’

Thus begins an odd dynamic of you using a spare room in Dahlia’s private quarters (being Barbatos’ Herald does have its perks of extra living space), in an almost beauty and the beast type of way (except the only thing making you the beast is your spider-powers, and Dahlia is only a little surprised — mostly intrigued — by how your eyes have turned into an unnatural variant of its original color, while your fangs seem to be made for delivering venom, but not exactly for eating meat like carnivores do.) 

He’s a lot more laid back about this than you expected, helping you get basic necessities and food without letting any of the others in the Church know. It helps that you can hide and crawl outside pretty easily if needed, to hide — and you start to grow curious about Dahlia yourself when he finally gives you your mission brief — to investigate some small crimes around the city that he suspects are connected, based on Rosaria’s reports. 

The mystery quickly proves to be bigger than either of you imagined, and it becomes a battle to keep the peace in Mondstadt while nefarious forces linger in the shadows. Meanwhile: What will the public think when they find out Deacon Dahlia has enlisted the help of a monster, of all things? A person whose powers (in a world with only blessings from gods or curses from demons) is most likely from a dangerous, nefarious source? 

Because of how close you’re working together, you discover sides of Dahlia that even the longest term Sisters haven't seen before (mostly because he works with them in a professional setting).

“You're less pious than I thought you'd be.” “Well, no point doing that in front of the person who decimated Barbatos’ statue.” “...Touché.” “You’re helping with the repairs, by the way.” “How many jobs are you having one person do?!”

And the first time you hear a genuine, happy laugh fall off his lips? You know that deep down, even if Dahlia was to turn against you someday… You may never be able to truly cut yourself off from the friendship you’ve built. Even if it was only you visiting the remnants of it, chasing after phantoms in the courtyard where bloody flowers bloomed — you’d stand there and wait, eyes angled away from the shadows swarming beneath your steps. 

[mint-in-the-moonlight]

putting the poly back in polytheism

something that I've noticed in neo-pagan/polytheist spaces is this focus on one or a few deities. while this is a valid approach and seems to be working amazingly for many people, i wanted to write a short defence of a different form of polytheism that, while maybe less visible on social media, is equally viable.

the poly in polytheism necessitates the belief in multiple gods however modern forms of worship take many different forms on top of that. from my years being in pagan spaces on social media I have noticed that to many, being a polytheist means worshipping one or a handful of gods and having very close relationships with them. which deities someone chooses to have this kind of relationship with stems from multiple possible sources, for example, personal interest, the deity's domain being somehow related to a person's life or an inexplicable draw to them.

to me, this seems to be the dominant view on social media of the form that neo-paganism takes, however, after years of exploring my spirituality and practice, I have come to the conclusion that this is not how I want to worship. I am writing this post for more people like me, who are interested in exploring this often less mainstream approach.

an ancient template

reading about Ancient Greek and Roman civilisations I was always struck by the number of minor deities with hyper-specific domains and associations. as a modern pagan, I could not understand the appeal of worshipping such a deity, ie. using so much time and resources to build a relationship for only a handful of niche issues that you could approach them with.

but as I kept reading and exploring, I realised that I was approaching polytheism completely differently than the ancients did. they truly did live in a world full of gods and they did not require a relationship built over days, if not weeks or more, to approach a deity and ask for their aid.

as long as you followed the rules of reciprocity, you could approach any deity that was relevant to your situation because they were the best equipped to help you with your problem. now this is not true for all of the population all the time, there were definitely also for example, people devoted to one deity, but from my understanding, this seemed to be the general form that polytheism took in those ancient civilisations.

the influence of monotheism

I think another feature of online neo-paganism is this expansion of the major deities' domains which then removes the need to worship the smaller deities. now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for expanding the domains of deities, especially if this is done from a revivalist perspective in order to modernise them for the contemporary worshipper. but sometimes I feel like completely unrelated domains are added for the sake of convenience more than anything else, ie. so that someone can keep worshipping the same deity(ies) without approaching others.

this, in my opinion, goes against one of the core aspects of polytheism which is the idea that different gods rule over different domains and have power over them. following this idea, it would make very little sense to pray to Neptune during air travel as he has no influence over the skies. yet, I sometimes see the deities be treated more like monotheistic gods which are all-powerful and can influence anything in the world.

if this is your view of how the gods work, that's fine, but I feel like sometimes people accept it without questioning it much or thinking about their view of theology at all. after mulling this idea over for some time, I realised it made much more sense to approach those specific deities, even if they are much less known or minor because this fits into my beliefs about polytheism much better.

a poly-practice

so, how would a poly-polytheistic practice look like in the modern day? well, there are many ways to go about it but I will just share bits from my own experience.

what I have ended up doing is focusing on different deities as they become relevant in my life - I focused on worshipping Janus at the beginning of the year while also taking the time to pray to Fortuna in moment when I needed her aid. I then did some extra reading on Jupiter, but didn't forget to thank Mars every time I went to the gym. I no longer felt the pressure to have some sort of special "connection" to every deity or "feel their presence", just trusting that they are there and then catching glimpses of divinity in my daily life.

looking into which Roman festivals I wanted to celebrate also opened my perspectives to more deities I would not have otherwise worshipped on my own. like this, I feel like I am building an arsenal of deities I can turn to when I need and of course, it is also vital to remember that I can call on multiple ones at the same time, just like the Romans saw the gods aiding one another in their tasks.

I only have one altar, which is practical and thus quite minimalistic, but there is space for my prayer notebook as well as other supplies that I need for my rituals.

conclusion

of course, this kind of practice results in a much more "impersonal" relationship with the gods, but I never really felt the need to communicate with them directly or things like that, so it fits me well. I find comfort in imagining a world full of gods, who may only know me in passing but who look out for me nevertheless.

in the end, the goal of this post is not to change anyone's mind about how they worship, but to present an alternate perspective which you can learn from but also completely disregard. in the end I am just happy that you were interested enough to reach until the end of this post. thank you for reading!!