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butterflys-corner · 1 day ago

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𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗳𝗮𝗿.. ♤

Summary: The monster trio took your lovers' quarrel just a tad bit too far, leaving you to cool off alone. Until you weren't. [Warnings: Swearing, arguing, established relationships, hurtful words, mentions of kidnapping, angst and sad parts!]

Luffy

Your romance with Luffy was never simple. That's what you liked about it.

One day was a lazy nap here and there, sharing snacks together and an occasional game of tag you supervised. Others were full of adventures with your energetic captain, you and one of the others along side him as he explored a new island.

But today was no such casual day.

For weeks now, you along with the other Straw Hats sailed closer and closer to an uncharted island. Nami, Miss Navigator herself, has never heard of an island being here, but her log pose pointed toward it. So onward you went.

The closer you got, the worse everyone felt.

Luffy was more tired and annoyed, Zoro more unfocused, Nami growing evermore well.. bitchy. Robin and Franky alike argued themselves, Chopper growing more antsy under the constant bickering. Usopp and Brook seemed more skittish if it were possible. Jinbei was more to himself, if it even made sense. And of course Sanji was effected in his way, no longer doting on the females aboard how he usually did.

Today the Straw Hats landed on the strange island, the foreboding emptiness making everyone feel on edge. The usually joyous captain included.

You almost never fought, his more airheaded nature being canceled out by your intellectual one. But as the Sunny reached the shore of the island and Zoro dropped anchor, the unease in everyone grew tremendously.

"Luffy," you start quietly, a tremble in your voice. "Maybe we should go to another island? This doesn't seem-"

"Nah. This one is fine. Hop to it, crew!" Your brows furrow and you sidestep, stopping him from gum gumming his way off the deck.

"No. Really, Cap. I don't think this is a good idea-"

"Are you going against your captain's wishes?"

A deadly silence as everyone stops in their tracks.

Luffy never talked to you like that.

"Excuse me?" You cut through the tense silence, arms firmly crossed against your chest- the way everyone knew you wouldn't back down from the argument.

The resident swordsman and sharpshooter had come to the side of either of you, the latter holding scarred hands in the space between you. They shook, unsure of if he should touch you.

"I'm the captain of this crew. That never changed. We're going." The lack of chipper tone in his voice scratched against the very wrong part of your brain as your upper lip curled into a sneer.

"Hey, Y/n, come on.." Usopp tried his best to coax you back, his rough fingertips creeping around your bicep. But you wouldn't back down. No way.

"Well, Captain," you practically spit the venom onto the deck, teeth gritted as you spoke. "I'm keeping my happy ass here. You die, you die on your own."

You didn't mean it, of course. But you knew that was the only way to get through to the rubber man.

"Fine. Stay here. I don't care."

He... didn't care?

"Fine." You huff and tear your arm away from Usopp in a furious snap. You climb into the crows nest and keep watch, the captain and the others' forms disappearing on the horizon.

Your thoughts brewed as you paced the crows nest. They were so loud, you failed to hear someone sneaking their way on board- into the room with you.

A struggled shriek under a firm hand, black spots lining your vision, and a muffled voice of a man is all you remember.

Everyone was gone- Captain Monkey D. Luffy included, while you and the Thousand Sunny were abducted from the island cape.

Zoro

Everyone has off days. It's inevitable.

But damn if you haven't been having an off week, constantly bickering back and forth with your meathead of a swordsman, Zoro.

It was one thing or the other with him recently. He trained too hard and hurt himself (which was rare), you decided to take things in your own hands and made a mess of your duties, you snapped at your best friend, Nami was upset at the both of you- it was a mess of a week.

So, when you realized that Zoro wouldn't give up the petty stalemate, you thought you would. Or you would at least attempt to.

"Zoro," you started with a small breath. You know he wasn't one to easily discuss arguments, preferring avoiding the topic as much as possible.

But this was too important.

"I know you hate this kind of conversation-"

You already noticed his attention going to polishing the blades of his swords. You bite back grievances, taking another calming breath.

"But this is important. We can't keep-"

"Fighting?" He grumbles, not bothering to look up as he dabs polish onto the metal.

"Exactly," you nod. He always had that way of acutely knowing what would come out of your mouth next.

"Well, I'm not fighting you. I'm just doing my own thing." He dismissed you almost too easily as your heart clenched.

"If we aren't really speaking, that's not really fixing anything either-"

"-because not talking is just as bad."

Another annoyingly accurate finishing of your sentence. Another few dabs of polish on the dark grey blade.

"If you can't take this serious-"

"-usly you can just go."

"Okay, really? I'm trying, Roronoa. More than your stubborn ass has."

"I see no point." He hadn't lied, he really didn't see the point in dwelling on a fight he didn't remember the start of.

Your arms cross over your chest, eyes disapproving as you look down at him.

"The point is figuring this shit out and being able to be in the same vicinity without this.. dumb shit that we're doing right now." You grow angrier, hating when he would do this after fights. Act like nothing happened and just keep to himself until you came around.

"You're the one keeping it up," that was the final straw in the hat. You shriek behind gritted teeth and your arms fall from your sides, hands clenched in aggravated claws.

"You know what? Forget it. I don't want shit to do with you right now."

"You'll come back again," Zoro lowly speaks, dark olive eyes looking over the sword blade as he held it against the sunlight.

"Oh, you'll miss me so bad, Roronoa. I'm going into the village. Stay here with your precious swords."

He grunted in response, half of his brain cutting that out of his ears.

Oh, how true it would turn out to be.

You walked through the village of the island, honestly just wanting to blow off steam and reconcile later with your sword weilder. But you wouldn't make it back to the ship.

"You're Roronoa's woman, yeah?" Some random man had spoken over the busy bar. You sat at the counter, drink glass long since empty as you just held onto the rim.

"Who's asking?"

"You're her alright."

The last thing you remember was your head spinning after the impact of.. you didn't know what it was, it was just hard and painful. Your eyes fluttered shut, your head already starting to ache.

And your stubborn pirate hunter Roronoa Zoro stayed up all night waiting for you to return to no avail.

Sanji

You were never a jealous person, really. You were content with your life, your looks, even your choice in lovesick boyfriend.

Sanji, however, was a different breed. He would glare at other men with looks that could kill. He would roll up his sleeves like one of those boxing types, light a cigarette and step to bat over you.

Normally you love when he does it. It made you feel special, worth fighting for. But right now, you couldn't be bothered with showing your favor toward him.

All you asked was for him to come along on a trip to the market.

That's all. A trip to the market.

Now he's nose to nose with a bigger man, who wasn't even bothering you, because you wanted something nearby and the man happened to be in the way.

"Gods, Sanji, let's go already." You practically begged him, the cook not stepping down from the fight he picked. At least there was that.

"Right after I put this bastard in his place, Y/n." You sigh with crossed arms and look at the bags Sanji carried for you. They better not get messed up.

"Fine. I'll meet you at the ship. This is ridiculous." You didn't really wait for him to answer. If he wants to fight then-

"Oh~ What fine ladies you are! Such delicate curls and eyes as beautiful as gemstones!"

That made you stop.

"Excuse me?" You did a full one-eighty, facing the blond cook again. Sure enough, he forgot about the fight he was just in- over you no less- for some island women that passed by.

Like you thought, the lovesick cook was fawning over two ladies. The man before was gone and your annoyance grew tenfold.

"Sanji." His name left your lips in an angry growl, the two ladies looking you up and down, sizing you up in a way.

Paying them no mind, since well they honestly weren't a match for you, you step closer and grab the cook by the suit collar and spinning him around.

"Sanji Vinsmoke, you better be joking."

"I'm sorry, my love! Those beautiful ladies were just too delectable to let pass me by!"

You did not want to hear that.

"Unbelievable," you shake your head, curly brows only swooning at you with his usual interlocked hands at his cheek.

"Don't follow me." You stomped away and left him in the shopping plaza, another woman catching his attention as you did.

So that hopelessly romantic fool left you to walk to the ship alone, but you never made it.

Before you even made it to the docks, a mysterious figure had nabbed you from an alleyway.

Sanji had made it to the ship, a few gifts to soothe your anger with him. He searched your usual hang out spots for you to no avail.

He realized then that something happened to you, and that the last thing that happened was he paid attention to other women.

He had a lot more than just making you upset to make up for later.

Sanji's was a bit rushed, I apologize. I was just tired of seeing this in my drafts ;^;

[Header credits: @yur1ed1ts @artistslayouts ] If I can find the other art tag I will add it!

#monster trio #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #one piece #luffy x reader #sanji #sanji x reader

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commandershepardvasfuckit · 1 day ago

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Wild Gods, part 2

Part 1

1.6k words

A new morning did not bring any change. Still the strange being insist you were his mate retuned to him and still you got very few concrete answers from him.

————

There were blankets wrapped tightly around you when you awoke, but he was nowhere to be found. Maybe you could just creep away if that was the case, just avoid trying to convince him that you definitely weren’t who he thought you were.

As you looked around you spotted a small box that was clearly left to be in your line of sight when you woke up. Curiosity got the better of you and you opened it up slowly to find a beautiful bracelet, a thin gold chain adorned with large emeralds and rubies. The design was familiar and without a second thought you slipped it on before getting up.

The sun was already up and bathing everything in a soft, warm glow. It would have been quite beautiful here if you weren’t being held against your will. Your strange capture was sitting just outside, seemingly making breakfast.

“Good morning, my love” he greeted you cheerfully. “Breakfast is about ready, though it won’t be quite what you were used to before, apologies.”

Cautiously you sat across the cooking fire from him, trying to get a better read on the situation. He offered you food, local fruits foraged, a few small boiled eggs, and some sort of meat that had been skewered and roasted over the fire.

“Who are you?” you asked again.

“The lord of this place” he answered again.

“But what does that mean? What is your name?”

“All of this,” he vaguely gestured around, “is my domain. It’s not much anymore, but I will rebuild it all.”

“And your name?”

“You will remember it in time” is all he answered.

“I need to go home.”

“You are home.”

“I have a family! Parents! Siblings! Friends! They’re going to wonder where I am! I need to go back to them. You have the wrong person anyway!” You went to get up, to storm off and try to find your way back home. At this point you were annoyed by the strange being and from your rejection by the council yesterday, you could care less about convincing him that he was wrong. You just wanted to go home.

“You’re bound here” he called as you stormed off, though you ignored him.

You picked a direction and started walking, just eager to get away from him and you’d figure out the right direction to get home once you were out of the ruins. The tree line of the woods was visible and fast approaching as you made a beeline for it. Right as your foot stepped from the cracked pavers of the ruins and onto the dirt of the woods it felt as though the whole world lurched to the side, sending you stumbling, and when you looked up you seemed to be back in the ruins.

“I warned you” he was sitting not far from you and shrugged.

“Why did you do that?” you snapped at him.

“I didn’t do anything. I am bound to this place, and you are bound to me, ergo you are bound to this place.”

“So unbind me from you, you have the wrong person!”

He sighed, “You know that’s not how this works-”

“No! I don’t! Because you have the wrong person!”

Before you could even register that he moved, he was in front you and had a tight grip on your wrist, claws pressing into your skin, his voice was a low hiss, “That’s impossible! It was a thousand years ago when you were bound to me, when my mark was etched on your soul, you bear the same mark now as you did then. It has taken a long time, but you have finally returned to me and in time you will remember.”

You snatched your wrist away from him and immediately his expression fell.

“I did not mean to snap, I am sorry. It has been a long, lonely, thousand years so forgive my lack of manners” he quickly apologized. “But you are here now, with me, things will go back to how they should.”

You didn’t trust a word he said. He was bound here for some reason, trapped. Benevolent beings weren’t usually imprisoned, though it seemed for now at least you were stuck here too.

The ruins here were in much rougher shape than the rest. Blackened soot clung to the remaining walls, and at the very center where you stood felt slightly sunken in.

“What happened here?” you asked.

“It is a story for another time. Please, let’s go finish breakfast, then we can take a walk and chat.”

You followed him through the labyrinthine ruins back to where you slept last night, the food was still waiting for you. He just watched as you ate, big green eyes seemingly peering into your soul, never once looking away.

“I see you put your bracelet on” he broke the silence.

You glanced down at the bracelet that you already forgot you were wearing.

“That was one of the first gifts I gave you, it makes me happy to see it back on your wrist.”

You just gave a slight nod in acknowledgement.

He had so many questions about how the world was now, so many years confined year had left him quite out if touch, though he didn’t actually seem to be listening to your answers. Instead he was just looking at you with a soft smile and seemed to be wrapped up in his own thoughts.

“Why can’t you leave here?” you asked.

“This is my domain, it is the only place I can be.”

“You said you were bound here though, like trapped.”

“Bound and trapped are not the same, and it used to extend far past the palace. All directions, all the way to the oceans, it was all mine. But a god without followers doesn’t have enough influence to control much” he gave a little shrug, but looked away from you.

“You aren’t a god.”

“Oh? Then what am I?” he asked, “Have you ever seen anyone else like me?”

You hadn’t. He spoke like a human, walked and moved like a human, though he very much was not one. Not entirely anyways.

His head was that of a tiger, and though his body was humanoid, he was covered in soft, striped fur in a tiger’s pattern. His hands were shaped like a human’s, but appeared to have claws that could retract like a cat’s. He had a long tail, and his feet were more akin to paws.

You had heard of demons with animal traits, or humans cursed to take odd forms, though he did not seem particularly hostile, just frustrated.

“Then what are you the god of?” you asked.

“This place, the land, the people here.”

“That’s not how it works! There’s the pantheon and-”

“No. I do not know who your ‘pantheon’ is nor do I care. They are not real. There is the Great Mother, and her children, that is all” his tone was curt, it seemed you may have hit a nerve with him.

You wracked your brain for any mentions of a Great Mother or anything similar to what he had said, but there was nothing you recalled. Unless…

“You’re one of the old wild gods” you said.

The wild gods, a contested topic in scholarly circles. Shrines and temples to ancient gods had been unearthed over the years, but very little remained. No writings or distinct artifacts, just nearly destroyed structures and the occasional mural or mosaic. Some scholars claimed the wild gods once walked the planet and preformed great feats, others claimed they were some sort of warmongering tyrants over their followers, though most believed that they were never real and just an early form of religion.

While you had never seen any of these supposed shrines, the ruins here were far grander than anything else you had heard of, and despite not being far from the seat of the council you had never seen them before. Had never heard of them. It was almost as though they just appeared.

“I don’t know about that name, but I am the god of this area, and I’ve certainly been here much longer than your supposed ‘pantheon’.”

“Then why doesn’t any know there ruins are here? This is pretty close to the city, but no one knows that there here.”

“This place is protected, at least for now, so only my faithful will be able to find it.”

“So why could I find it?”

“As I have said, my mark is on you, you are connected to me so of course you can find your way back home.”

“I’ve been out in these woods plenty of times but never found them before.”

“I do not have an answer for that, but it doesn’t matter. You are where you belong now, I can start rebuilding now.”

You gave him an odd look, everything he said just felt off, “And why wait so long to rebuild?”

“I did what I could: made sure I had a room and somewhere comfortable for you to sleep, cleared the soot from much of the palace, though as I said, a god with no followers doesn’t have much influence or power. But now I have my most devoted follower back, and soon you will bear our children. Our little family will be the beginning of my empire.”

————

Tag list

@mothmansanctuary

#monster fucker #teratophillia #monster lover #terato #monster x reader #monster smut #monster boyfriend #monster husband #yandere x reader #i guess technically #anthro

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whateversawesome · 2 days ago

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Spy x Family Ch. 111: Anya's Mama

So many things for such a little chapter, don't you think?

We saw baby Anya and we finally caught a glimpse of Anya's biological mother.

Something to notice is that they're both wearing hospital gowns, which makes me think they were in the lab and, because of that, we can solidify the theory about Anya being born there. It could be that her mom was pregnant when captured or that they experimented on her and she got pregnant while in that lab. A secret third option is that Anya's mom actually volunteered for the experiments (maybe she was a scientist herself or a family member coaxed her into doing it), although I find this unlikely due to her comment about the butterfly. Either way, I have a feeling we won't know for a very long time.

Mindreading or no mindreading?

Endo chose not to let us know about that explicitly. However, look at this panel:

I don't think Anya's mom is talking here. I think she's thinking this. Because of that, I do suspect Anya can read her mama's mind. She doesn't fully understand it but those words are inside her memory.

However, as you can see in the panel below, we don't see her classic mindreading sparkles. So, it' could also be that she saw her mom getting sad or nostalgic and she wanted to hug her. Kids are very perceptive of their parent's emotions.

If you ask me, I think she was born with that ability. Either her mom was also a telepath who was being studied during her pregnancy or she was experimented while pregnant and gained and passed her abilities to her daughter.

All this makes me consider that maybe Anya wasn't experimented on like many of us believed for a long time. Maybe those scientists were just studying her/observing her in order to understand and try to replicate her abilities. I'm really hoping Endo will go this route, it's less cruel. In any case, keeping someone so young as a case study is still wrong and I don't think Twilight and Yor will like this.

Anya's Mama

I'm talking about Yor, of course.

First of all, I think Endo summed up what motherhood is about in this panel:

It's not exactly that a mom can read their kid's mind, but it's something close. As a mom you get to know your child inside and out. When you take care of them, see them grow and love them with all your heart, you simply learn to "read every part of them."

That's how we know that Yor loves Anya and that she is her mom.

I don't know what happened to Anya's biological mom; she could be gone or still be alive. I'm sure we'll find out eventually. However, no matter what happens, I think Anya will always have that unconditional love from Yor.

There's a prevalent theme about motherhood in sxf: a mother as a safe place. Yor has mentioned it several times; she knows her job is to protect Anya and Anya feels safe when her mama is around (even Twilight notices this.)

I think the bond between them will get stronger as the story moves forward. Come on, it's pretty obvious Anya is Yor's baby, she's already head over heels and she decided she wanted to be a good mother since day 1. Also, a big theme in the story are bonds that are forged, and chosen family. In the story, blood ties sometimes are complicated (look at the Desmonds, for example.)

I'm not fluent in Japanese, but I am aware that Anya calls Yor and Twilight, Haha and Chichi, which is an English equivalent of "my mom and my dad", instead of just "mom and dad." In case you are wondering, Anya did call her biological mom, the right way: "mama."

At some point in the story, I think we will see Anya call Yor and Twilight, mama and papa the right way. I suspect this will be the moment when they will realize they're no longer a pretend family, but a real one. And it'll be simply beautiful 💖

A Few Questions

Whenever we learn something about one of the Forger's past, we are usually left with even more questions like:

Where's Anya's mom now?: I think either she's still a prisoner somewhere or she's dead. And if she's alive, does she know Anya lives?

How did Anya escape? She was so little! She must have had help from someone.

Who is Anya's dad? Maybe a scientist? A prisoner of war? Or was artificial insemination possible back then?

Is Anya her real name? I'm wondering if her mom called her differently. Here are some theories about her name. I suspect this will be important and I wouldn't be surprised if Anya is not her real name, almost as a foil of Twilight's name and story.

And also, there's a gap between that scene/memory and when Anya gets adopted by Twilight. We know thanks to Franky that in the year before Twilight adopted her, she was previously adopted by four different families, however, there's still a chunk of time missing.

I estimate she's probably 2 years old in that memory, she was 4 when she was adopted by those other families, and 5 years old when Twilight became her dad. That leaves 2 full years blank. Where was she during that time?

#spy x family #sxf #anya forger #loid forger #yor forger #spy x family analysis #spy x family manga #spy x family meta

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moonlit-imagines · 1 day ago

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Headcanons for being Viktor’s younger sibling

Viktor x sibling!reader

warnings:

a/n: im so sorry if this sucks so bad im soooo sorry its my first arcane fic

prompt: anonymous: “Hooray for open requests!!! Maybe hc for being Jayce or Viktor's younger sibling? And accompanying them to the lab?”

you and viktor never thought you’d make it out of the undercity, but viktor was gifted. he helped give you a better life

heimerdinger helped you find your place in piltover, viktor wouldn’t let you get left behind

“y/n deserves to go to a good school. have advanced classes. they can handle it.” -viktor

“i have no doubt, especially if y/n takes after you” -heimerdinger

you’d come a long way, farther than you ever thought you guys would go

“i’m glad i have you as a brother, vik” -you

“you’re just saying that because you have a nice plate of food in front of you” -viktor

“it doesn’t hurt” -you

even if viktor was your older sibling, you devoted yourself to sticking up for him

especially when you lived in zaun, since viktor was not treated kindly

“no more fighting up here?” -viktor

“i hope so, but just because we’re in piltover doesn’t magically solve discrimination. we’re still outsiders” -you

“why do you say that? has something happened?” -viktor

“just the way the people up here act” -you

you two still made the most of the opportunity with your studies, moving up in piltover

viktor soon met jayce, which you had mixed feelings of

maybe you were a little prejudiced againts topsiders still, even after all this time

“hey, who’s this!” -jayce

“viktor’s sibling, y/n. who are you?” -you

he liked you though!

you started to accompany them as they worked, especially intrigued by hextech

you were sort of an “intern” as they liked to call you

but it was worth it, experiencing something so fascinating

“y/n, stand back” -viktor…experimenting

“fineeee” -you

after some time working together, you saw a future in this

but not everyone saw it your way

you started coming around to jayce when he convinced mel not to pull the plug on hextech

“don’t act like im not your favorite” -jayce

“you’re far from my favorite” -you, jokingly

after some time, viktor grew ill and you grew more worried

you wanted to care for him but he simply would not let you

and he hated letting you see him that way

“viktor, i’m your sibling. please don’t shut me out, i won’t let you.” -you

“i’m fine, y/n. please, do not stress over my health.” -viktor

“come on, viktor. you know as well as i do something is wrong. you fainted!” -you

“yes, and i have better things to do than ‘rest’ as you keep asking me to do” -viktor

“you’re impossible” -you

“takes one to know one” -viktor

viktor pushed you away as he got sicker, leaning into his work

the hexcore was the breaking point

he showed up to your door in tears in remorse for sky’s death, you knew it was bad when he told you that you were right

“viktor, you’re not well. it’s time to rest” -you

“i don’t think i can after this” -viktor

you reached out to jayce after this incident, viktor left and you didn’t think you could follow

“he thinks you worry too much, he doesn’t want to be a burden” -jayce

“then will you help him? i don’t want him to be alone” -you

you gave him a hug and hoped for the best

but maybe he was destined to fail

you fell apart when you heard of the attack on the council, even more so when you saw viktor within the hexcore

“what did you do?!” -you

“i did what you asked! i helped him!” -jayce

you visited viktor every day regardless, usually ignoring jayce as he worked

and jayce really tried to make it up to you

“i don’t think he knows how much he’s done for me” -you, breaking silence after jayce hands you a pastry

“how so?” -jayce, timidly

“i could still be in zaun. i could be starved, suffering, and wasting my talents. but i’m here—because of him. he gave me the opportunity of education, safety, peace of mind and i feel like i failed him” -you

“i can’t imagine he sees it that way. you used all your resources and focused on yourself. that’s what he wanted for you, not to get involved in our messes” -jayce

when viktor woke up, he wasnt the same. he was a shell of himself. it caused you a lot of unease

your hug was weakly returned, and at first you thought it was just his recovery, but you soon found he was changed.

you stepped back, finally heeding years of warnings viktor had given you about worrying for him, caring for him, trying to help

you felt you were on your own, maybe it was for the best as you pursued your interests and career

and jayce went his own way pushing you away as well

but you chased him anyways and ended up in a dark, cruel world—the future viktor created

“where the hell are we?” -you

“i told you to leave! you shouldn’t be here!” -jayce

“i don’t…i don’t know where here is? you’d prefer to be alone in this?” -you

the mission changed as time went on, you loved viktor but you saw what came of the world

and jayce felt the need to try to convince you, but you’d already made up your mind

“we have to stop this. any way we can.” -you

“wha—i had a whole speech planned?” -jayce

“don’t want to hear it. viktor died when jinx attacked the council. this is…someone else’s work” -you

jayce and viktor taught you well, and soon enough you were back where you needed to be—and jayce took lead

but it wasn’t so simple, war broke out and all your hard earned time suffering in a broken timeline paid off as you fought against noxus

you watched from afar and viktor and jayce were taken from you and you felt…at peace

taglist: @summersimmerus //

#viktor arcane #viktor league of legends #viktor arcane x reader #viktor arcane imagine #viktor x reader #viktor imagine #arcane #arcane imagine #arcane x reader

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castellanapologist · 1 day ago

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Teaching Moment.

[This is LONG I apologize. CW: Cheating (not on luke or reader)]

Tomorrow. Y’all’s anniversary was tomorrow. You could feel your heart clench in fear and trepidation. Gods, you almost didn’t want it to happen. You and your boyfriend, Mark, had been together for about a year now and you wanted to make it memorable. So in a spur of the moment decision you had gone out to get waxed, buy lingerie and learn how to have sex. Porn had been a turn off, the over-exaggerated moans had made you cringe and shut your laptop quickly.

Wallowing in self-pity and anxiety hadn’t done you any good and you knew the only person you could trust with this was your best friend and roommate, Luke. Luke Castellan, son of Hermes. The best swordsman in 300 years at camp half-blood. The only one you could depend on no matter what. After you both had left camp, he was the only one you could rely on. Y'all had found a place of your own, moved in together and been inseparable ever since. It had been a bit of a rough start at first, but with Luke’s dazzling smirk and whispers in your ear it all managed to work out. In the back of your mind you knew it wasn’t a great idea to be living with someone you had crushed on for years, but when he asked how could you refuse? Besides, y’all both had partners. Nothing weird could ever happen.

So why were you even going to him with this? Wouldn’t this make it weird? Chewing on your lip nervously, you paced your room like a caged animal. Weighing the options in your mind, it came clear that you only really had one option. Go to Luke and have him teach you or risk your experienced boyfriend laughing in your face. Luckily -or unluckily- Luke had just come home and did his usual routine of poking his head in your room to bother you. His brow raised seeing you pace wildly.

“You good?” He asked, not unkindly. Opening the door all the way, he leaned against the doorframe. Even in your distress you could appreciate his physique. Broad shoulders, strong arms wrapped with prominent veins, even his hands had you weak in the knees. Sighing, you slow your pacing down to face him.

“I…I had a question.” You meekly respond, wringing your hands nervously. His eyes dropped to them and stepped closer to grab them. He ran his thumbs soothingly over your knuckles.

“Go ahead baby, what's wrong?” He asked, voice dropping to a murmur. The pet name ran smoothly off his tongue and it's not like the two of you didn't say sweet words to each other, but you shivered.

“When…when you lost your virginity” Your voice cracks slightly before you clear your throat. “Was it scary?”

Luke’s brows shoot up. There’s a small silence but it's long enough to make you want to crawl into a hole and die. You try to pull away but he quickly pulls you into a hug, running a large hand comfortingly up and down your back.

“Hey hey it's okay, it's not a weird question.” He soothes. “Just caught me off guard is all. It was a little nerve-wracking but nothing crazy. Why do you ask?”

Your silence seems to give him the answer and his brows shoot up again. “You thinking of giving that boyfriend of yours your virginity?” He asks, voice unimpressed. Luke has never seemingly liked Mark, saying dating a mortal was a dumb decision. When you had pointed out his girlfriend was a mortal, he had scoffed and said it was different. You roll your eyes, pulling back slightly to look up at him.

“Well we’ve been dating for a year, I feel like I can trust him.” You say. Luke’s lips purse but he nods slowly.

“Yet you’re pacing like crazy in here” He teases. You deflate slightly, leaving him to scramble to make up for it. “Hey hey, if you’re ready it's okay. It’ll be fine.” He soothes, rubbing your back again.

“I’m scared Luke.” You confess. “What if I mess up? And he laughs at me?”

“I doubt he will. Besides, if he does, I’ll kill him” Luke promises. It doesn’t sound like he’s joking but you roll your eyes like he is.

“You don’t get it,” You say as you pull back a bit more. “I want him to be impressed with me. So I don’t look stupid and unprepared.”

“There’s no way to be prepared unless you do it.” Luke points out, his hands falling to your hips. “Unless you try and watch a shit-load of porn, but even then its fake and won't teach you anything.”

“You don’t think I thought of that?” You groan. “Shit was awful. Barely got 5 minutes in.”

Luke throws his head back in a laugh. “You watched porn?” He teases. “Cmon, tell me what kind.”

“I’m not telling you.” You say firmly, pushing against his chest. He laughs again, gripping tighter so you couldn’t escape. Pulling you closer, he leans in close to whisper in your ear.

“You know you can trust me baby, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”

You squirm at his breath on your ear but sigh, knowing neither of you can particularly keep stuff from the other. “Just...like regular porn I don’t know.” You sigh, avoiding his gaze.

“Show me.”

Your eyes snap to his, clearly caught off guard. “What?!” You nearly shriek. Luke huffs a laugh.

“I said show me. Wanna see what my little roomate was up to while I was away.” His voice is teasing as he smirks down at you. Chewing on your lip you weigh your options. You decide ‘what the hell, I was gonna ask for help anyway’ and nod. Luke allows you to detangle yourself from his hold and crawl onto your bed, following shortly behind you. He sits behind you, chest to your back as you open your laptop. You immediately cringe as loud moans fill the bedroom. Luke doesn’t bother to stifle a laugh.

“Teaching my virgin best friend how to fuck?” Luke reads aloud, laughing. You feel your cheeks burn in shame as you try and shrink down. Luke pulls you back upright. “Awww don’t be embarrassed baby. Rewind it, let's watch.”

“Rewind?” You question. Luke nods, pulling you more flush against him.

“Yeah, I’ll point out what to do and not do. Think of it as me ‘teaching my virgin best friend how to fuck’” He laughs. You chew your lip again, making it raw at this point. Luke brings his hand up to your face and uses his thumb to untuck your lip from your teeth. “Hey enough of that, you know I'm just teasin’. We don’t have to-”

“I want to.” You rush out before he can continue. Luke presses a kiss to your temple, a smirk gracing his handsome face.

“Alright baby, rewind.” He orders softly, moving his hands down to grip your hips. You squirm but obey. The video restarts and shows the guy and girl sitting on the couch, the girl looking nervous. You shift to lay more comfortably against Luke as the girl asks the guy to teach her. You’re hyper aware of Luke’s hands on your hips rubbing small circles obviously trying to soothe you. All too soon, the actors are making out furiously and groping each other.

“Pause it.” Luke commands. You’re all too happy to obey, hitting the spacebar. You turn your head to face him, only to realize he’s a lot closer than you thought. “You see how they’re making out? All messy and shit right off the bat? You wanna start slow.” He murmurs. You swallow and nod. There’s a beat of silence between y'all before you speak up.

“Can…can you show me?” You whisper, barely able to choke the words out. The room feels like it’s raised a few degrees as soon as the words exit your mouth. Luke’s eyes are dark as he turns you a bit further to face him.

“You sure?” He murmurs, fingers softly gripping your jaw. You nod, swallowing and turning to face him. Slowly, ever so slowly, he leans in, giving you plenty of time to pull away. You don’t. His lips are soft against yours, hesitant. When he feels you relax against him, he presses firmer. Your mouths move in sync, like you’ve been kissing all your life. His finger grip a bit tighter as his tongue swipes along your bottom lip. With no hesitation, you allow him in.

Groaning, his tongue invades your mouth. You whine as you taste him, hand coming up to tug at his hair. Luke moves slow, just like he said you should. As soon as he’s done, he allows you into his mouth. Gods he tastes so good. You feel like you can't get enough, tugging harder on his curls as you massage his tongue with your own. When you can’t breathe any longer, you pull away with a gasp. Fuck. Luke’s eyes are half-lidded, lips swollen from the kiss. You both pant while staring at each other.

“Just like that.” He breathes. You nod slowly, your heart pounding so loud you swear he can hear it. Your boyfriend never kisses you like that, he’s all tongue and teeth immediately like the video. Luke presses another kiss to your forehead and turns you back to face the screen. Pressing play, the video starts again. The actors continue to make out furiously, the guy yanking off the girls shirt and bra. Your breath catches in your throat and Luke pauses it again. Your mind races with a million thoughts, eyes locked on the girls bare tits and the guys hands groping them.

“Moving fast seems to be a trend for them.” Luke rumbles, his left hand still rubbing a circle on your hip. You nod absentmindedly. His fingers hover over the spacebar, like he’s thinking. You turn your head again, startling when you see him already staring at you. His eyes are dark with something primal, and you swallow. You glance at the girl's bare tits then back to him. Kissing was one thing…him seeing your tits was another. Luke and you had kissed a couple times at camp, just at parties when everyone was tipsy and wanted to play stupid drinking games. Maybe a touch or two over the clothes but nothing crazy.

“We don’t have to do anything.” Luke assures you, his hand pressing firmer against your hip. “I’ll just talk about it okay?” You take a breath and nod. “He needs to go slow, kiss your neck a little then he can take off the shirt.”

You shiver slightly thinking about Luke kissing your neck. Subconsciously, you bare yours a bit for him. His other hand slowly comes up from the spacebar to ghost along your throat. Your breath hitches but let him continue. His fingers are cold and soothing to the touch.

“You sensitive here?” Luke teases, pressing a bit firmer. You can barely nod. “Then he’ll have to spend extra time here. You wanna make sure he makes you feel good. Don’t let him rush things.” He says firmly, his fingers tracing your pulse point lightly. You nod. “Good girl.”

Fuck you almost moan at that. He doesn’t stop his teasing of your neck, seemingly fixated on your small shivers. Maybe this couldn’t hurt…it’s just a trial run right? Luke knew what he was doing, it wasn’t cheating if it's for practice…

“Luke…” You whisper, causing his fingers to still.

“Yeah?” He whispers back. You turn your head to face him again.

“Can you do what's supposed to happen?”

Lukes face breaks into a soft smirk but he nods regardless. He turns you again to face him, getting you fully in his lap. He brings the laptop to the side, letting you see the screen. You scoot in closer on his lap as his fingers wrap around the back of your neck, dipping his head. You gasp as his lips brush your skin, hands flying up to grasp his shoulders. Slowly, Luke kisses along the column of your throat, his lips lingering. You tilt your head back so he has more skin to kiss, emboldening him. His kisses become sloppy, tongue peeking out to lick. Fuck it felt so good. You can’t hold back the moans that tumble out your mouth, nails digging into his shoulders.

“Sound so good baby, gotta be loud so I know you like it okay?” Luke groans into your neck. You nod, eyes rolling back as he bites down. Fuck fuck fuck you felt yourself getting wetter than you ever had before. Luke was like a God in bed, and if it didn’t risk him getting smited telling him that, you would have. You squirm in his lap as his tongue traces patterns, half desperate for more and half desperate to get away. Luke's hands hold you down and only then do you notice. Fuck. Luke’s hard. You moan at the revelation, mind whirring with the implications. Was it because of you? Or the porn?

“Fuck Luke” You whine, hips rolling instinctively down. Luke’s teeth sink into your neck again, moaning as he thrusts up. You both grind for a few minutes, unable to stop yourselves. Eventually Luke pulls himself away from your neck and holds your hips down so he won’t be distracted.

“Your shirt” He tugs. “Lemme take it off.” You let him, exposing your bra. His face turns reverent, hands coming up to cup your breasts. Luke leans down to kiss the exposed skin before expertly unclipping it. You almost want to call him a slut, but when his lips wrap around your nipple all thoughts fly out of your head. You feel dizzy with pleasure as he sucks, nails scratching at his scalp. Luke hums around your tits, squeezing your hips in warning when you try to rock down.

“Stay still.” He commands, making you stop. Fuck you were dripping. He pants as he removes his own shirt, letting you get your fill of his sculpted torso. He walked around the apartment shirtless pretty frequently so it wasn’t new, but you still loved it all the same. Your hands roam his chest and arms, squeezing the muscles appreciatively. His stupid girlfriend was so lucky she got to touch this as often as she did. Jealousy simmers in your gut as you recall all the mornings you saw deep red scratches on his back. Before you can think twice, you lean forward and bite his neck hard enough to leave a mark. Your tongue soothes in apology before sucking. Luke tugs you back by your hair.

“Tryna mark me baby?” He teases, but there’s no heat behind his words. Tilting your head back, he reattacks your neck and leaves a mark of his own. He pulls back proudly admiring his handiwork. “Two can play at that game.”

You kiss him desperately again, bringing his hands to cup your chest again. He obeys, running his thumbs over your nipples before delivering a light pinch that makes you moan. Your boyfriend had never made you feel this good before and you couldn’t get enough of Luke. The kiss turns messy as he sucks on your tongue. Hands tug at the nape of his curls, whining into his mouth. After what feels like ages, Luke pulls away. You both pant before he turns your head to look back at the screen. Unpausing, you watch as the actors continue to (badly) moan and writhe under each others touch. The guy shoves down his pants, and the girl down to her knees. Your breath catches again as Luke pauses it.

“Won’t make you do that.” He says gruffly. “He probably won’t eat her out, but make sure your little boyfriend does.” Luke rolls his eyes. “Though a real man wouldn’t need to be asked.”

Jealousy surges in your gut at the thought of him going down on his girlfriend. Mark never went down on you. “You go down on Hailey?”

Luke looks at you like you’ve grown a second head. “Of course I do. Does Mark not?” Your silence answers for you. Luke scoffs. “Of course he doesn’t. Asshole doesn’t know how to treat a woman.”

“Luke, it's fine!” You groan. “It doesn’t matter-”

“Have you blown him?”

You stay silent. Luke scoffs for the umpteenth time. “Unfuckingbelievable.”

“Luke…”

Luke manhandles you, shifting so you lay flat against your bed and he’s on top and in between your legs. His scowl makes your reprimand die in your throat. “You’re tellin me you’ve never been eaten out?”

You shake your head and he groans. Like it physically pains him that you’ve never received head. He rises to his knees, looking down on you with such pity you feel like it’s actually a crime your boyfriend doesn’t eat you out. Sure, you’ve asked for it before, you’re a curious girl. Mark had just always made one excuse or another. Luke’s hand comes to rest on your knee which brackets his waist. He looks contemplative as he rubs it, lost in thought. Your hole clenches thinking of his tongue running along your folds.

“Would” Your voice cracks. “Would you?”

Luke’s eyes snap to yours, a primal heat in them. “Would I what?” He asks, voice low and dangerous. “Use your words.”

“Would you eat me out?” You whisper. The tension in the room is so palpable you swear you can taste it. Luke’s eyes seemingly darken further somehow. His hand slides from your knee to your thigh, causing your hips to twitch. A ghost of a smirk graces his face before turning serious again.

“You want me to?”

Frustration simmers in your veins. “Would I ask if I didn’t?”

Luke actually laughs at that, his head ducking down to kiss you again. The kiss is slow and deep, a promise lingering in it. “Alright baby just making sure. Lift your hips for me.”

You obey and he slowly slides your shorts down. You hear him suck in a breath, causing your face to flush. Luke looks hungry, almost obsessive as he stares at your cunt. Your hole clenches under his gaze, dripping more arousal. He moans.

“You’re soaked.” He says, spreading your thighs more. You whine as he exposes you, embarrassment coloring your face. Luke shushes you and leans closer, breath wafting over your spasming pussy. “Such a pretty pussy”

“Luke!” You whimper. “Stop staring.”

He shushes you again, ignoring your pleas. He runs a finger down your slit, marvelling how you soak his hand from that alone. Moans tumble from your mouth, squirming under him. Luke holds you down and presses a kiss to your throbbing clit.

“Fuck! Luke!”

He hooks his arms under your thighs as he presses more kisses on your clit, flattening his tongue to lick up your arousal. Moaning into your cunt, he moves down to press kisses to your fluttering hole. His tongue fucks into you, lapping up your leaking juices as his fingers come up to press into you as he moves back to the clit. You tug at his curls, back arching as you moan his name loudly. Fuck it felt too good. You felt like your brain was melting as his mouth moved expertly against you.

Waves of pleasure flooded you with every lick and the coil in your stomach tightened as every second passed. Humping his face, you chased the pressure in your gut that was building embarrassingly quickly, desperate to finish. You try to warn him you really do, but he moans into your cunt like you're the best meal he’s ever had and you cum. Your back arches obscenely as you gush over his handsome face. Luke doesn’t quit, licking up your cum like his life depends on it. You weakly push him away.

“Fuck. You were so good baby. Tasted so good.” He moans as he pushes up to kiss you. Moaning as you taste yourself, you pull him closer. You needed him in you. More than you had needed anything in your entire life. It seems he feels the same way, grinding his clothed dick against your sensitive pussy.

“Want you in me Luke.” You beg, tugging at his hair. He nods quickly, moaning into your kiss as he shoves down his sweats. They join the growing pile of clothes on the floor and you watch as Luke strokes himself. Fuck he’s so big. Could he even fit inside? He notices your stare and smirks, moving back between your thighs.

“You sure you want this baby?” He asks softly, thighs trembling as he resists pressing fully against you. You cup his face, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

“I’m sure Luke. I want it to be you.”

Luke kisses you again, pressing his tip against your hole. You both hiss, the pressure causing your hole to tremble. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pushes in. You moan loudly as his tip finally pops in and you clench around him. Luke swears, eyes rolling back as he holds himself back from thrusting forward.

“Fuck. So fucking tight.” He hisses. “Never felt pussy this good.”

Luke inches forward, peppering kisses all over your face as your pussy greedily pulls him in. You whine, feeling your cunt stretch to accommodate him, causing him to shush you and kiss you again. Clawing at his back so desperately it’ll surely leave deeper scratches than his girlfriend does, your pussy gushes as he finally pushes all the way inside. Luke stays still, gently grinding his pelvis against your clit which causes you to sob. He coos and kisses you again. Your eyes are rolled back as you chant his name, his fingers rubbing your clit to help you relax.

“So fucking good for me baby, best pussy I’ve ever had. ‘S like you were made for me, i love you so much”

You sniffle, kissing him back. “I love you too Luke. You can move now.”

Luke slowly pulls out before thrusting back in, causing your back to arch. His lip was tucked between his teeth as he leans back to stare where y’all are connected. Your hole stretched around his cock, lewdly squelching as his thrusts speed up. It’s too much, it felt too good not to rock your hips down to meet his thrusts. You babble nonsense as he fucks you, brain turned to mush and moaning like a whore. Luke pushes your legs against your chest aiming even deeper and you convulse on his cock. Fuck fuck fuck you were gonna cum again. Pulling him down into a messy kiss, you try to warn him.

“Gonna cum for me again baby? So fucking easy for me, this pussy belongs to me doesn’t it? Fuck, knew it did. Stupid fucking boyfriend couldn’t handle this.” He pants, fucking into you harder. You nod stupidly, too cock-drunk to deny him. He presses down, feeling his cock from the outside.

“Only yours Luke fuck. Feel so good in me” You slur. Luke moans before kissing you again.

“Best. Fucking. Pussy.” He accentuates every word with a thrust. “Fucking love you, only want you. I’m all yours”

Screaming his name, your vision goes white as you cum. Your pussy spasms, milking his cock as you convulse. He only speeds up, working you through your orgasm as he follows shortly behind. As you both come down from your highs, he lazily kisses you. He doesn’t pull out, carefully shuffling the two of you to lay comfortably.

“Been dreaming of doing that for years” He murmurs, kissing you again. You hum in agreement, tiredly tangling your tongue with his.

“Guess I’m glad you’re such a good teacher” You tease, eyes fluttering shut. Luke huffs a laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a few more lessons for you.”

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan smut

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intimidating-fettuccine · 3 days ago

Note

Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day so far! I was wondering if you had any general fluff with Candy or Terrors, I love your take on them and they make me smile every time. Maybe just silly little moments or cute accidents.

(have a good day and remember to drink water!!)

I hope you enjoy the fluff! I gave you both of them because I like writing soft stuff for both of them :)) There's a single romantic moment but I followed it up with a platonic alternative, so whether you'd like to view this as platonic or not is up to you when it comes to the bits with your involvement :)

This popped into my head when I first saw this request, but I feel like sometimes Terrors pretends to be Candy, but like, not on purpose. While their general demeanor and voices are different, sometimes I feel like when Terrors is really relaxed he seems a bit more similar to Candy, and people might mistake him for Candy. This leads to incidents where someone will run up to Terrors and either like, high-five him, maybe try and hug him, or update him on something, before going about their day, and Terrors just accepts it, making his best impression of Candy (which is actually quite good), because he's too embarrassed to admit that he accepted a high five from someone. The only people who can tell whether it's Candy or Terrors from a glance alone are you, LJ, Jason, and Slender. Nobody who has mistaken Terrors for Candy knows they've done so because Terrors would rather die than have someone be aware they treated him so casually. Terrors absolutely whines to you about it because he can't stew in his embarrassment alone.

I feel like after the last couple hundred years Candy and Terrors have gotten to a point where they *kind of* value each other's feelings, and so, in a moment of fluff for each other, they take each other's likes and dislikes into account. I feel like they have designated times scheduled for when they'll switch with each other, so for example, if one of them knows the other will be out for dinner, but a food they don't like is going to be the main dish, they'll request for something else to be made alongside it so that they can have something to eat. Slender was quite confused the first time Terrors walked up to him and was like, "Ah, could you prepare an additional side dish for this? Candy quite dislikes this meal." very bluntly before walking away. Slender was SO confused and shook, but he absolutely did so. Candy has more tact and is usually like, "Hey, you know what goes good with this??" and starts suggesting other things to be made with it, rather than outing Terrors for not liking specific foods. It's one of the few ways they're kind to each other. Part of it that neither of them will mention though is that, considering they share the same mind, they don't want to have to keep listening to each other complaining about the same dislikes after all these years.

I mentioned before that you are one of the only people who know who's who just by looking at them, but I feel like it would be a bit silly if every now and then you tease them and say the wrong person. If you "accidentally" call Candy 'Terrors' he gets so dramatic about it, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead, dramatically swaying back and forth, saying, "I cannot BELIEVE you could do this to me, oh my GOODNESS, what have I done to deserve this, how could you possibly mistake me for another?!" He'll just ramble on and on, and the only way to get him to stop is to somehow maneuver yourself up to his face and cover it in kisses, in which case he'll forgive you and say it's alright unless you'd like the more platonic route, which is apologizing just as dramatically as he's being. If you refer to Terrors as 'Candy', he looks SO aghast at you. I'm talking mouth hanging open, hand on his chest, eyebrows quirked up in disbelief, saying, "Well I NEVER! I would have believed that by now you'd know me better, but I suppose I was wrong, wasn't I? For you to betray me in such a way! I could not have seen this coming-!" He's being a bit silly because with the giggles you're poorly concealing it was obvious you were teasing him, but he makes you repay him by doing him "favors" like getting him (and yourself) a drink, and turning on his (and your) favorite music in the background, and you know, telling him about your day, and about your plans and, oh? This is just what you were going to be doing with him anyway? But of course! Your repayment is simply spending time with him, just as you were meant to because that's the best repayment you could ever give him.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #candy pop #candy pop headcanon #candy pop headcanons #candy pop x reader

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frostbiteisthenewjackieshauna · 7 hours ago

Text

A fractured line

summary: after your boyfriend breaks up with you, you find solace in your sworn enemy (and realize that obsessing over a girl for years isn't very straight of you)

a/n: listennn, I promise this is a Nat fic and I tried to keep the Travis part as short as possible, but there's tension between them from the beginning. it's also the first full length fic I've written in almost two years so be gentle guys!! constructive criticism is always appreciated! also if it does any good I already have an idea for pt 2 that involves sesbian lex and angst so let me know if you'd be interested in that!

warnings: break ups, shrooms, comphet reader, injuries, angst, no smut in this one, obviously swearing, bickering, reader has a redemption arc- mean girl!r in the beginning, mention of a fight- I think that's about it!

word count: 8.7k

You laid in Travis’ lap by the lake, feeling his slender fingers rake through your hair as you watched the illuminating sunset before you. Maybe, just maybe, if you were on a field trip with your friends from back home, sneaking in booze and huddling up to him on the drive home, you’d think this place was beautiful

“It’s getting colder” He said in a raspy voice above you

“Yeah, guess it is” You said, not taking your eyes off of the beautiful sky “No game huh?”

“Nope.” He said, feeling almost butthurt

“We’re so fucked” You said with a snort. You never had an issue with being mean blunt, even though it always sometimes sounded bitchy and outright rude. You were almost lost in your thoughts, but then felt him lean down awkwardly to press a kiss to your lips.

Truth be told, the only reason a girl like you started dating a guy like Travis was to get closer to his dad (and maybe become team captain). He didn’t question it much— dating someone as pretty and as popular as you was the usual Wiskayok boy’s wet dream. It worked well enough, coach did seem to favor you and you being the bitch you are, didn’t feel bad for Travis at all, but it had come right back to bite you in the ass— realizing you were falling for him was like a cruel punch to the gut. It was all you could think about, you never caught feelings for anyone before, not really, all you ever did was try to get something out of someone, but what does any of it matter out here? What do you matter, what is even the point of—

“You okay? You look like your head might explode” He said, you finally looked up at him

“Nothing, nothing I’m fine” You bluffed, looking back at the sky

“You can uh— you can talk to me y’know?” He said, something like that sounded a little wrong coming from him

“Mhm” You hummed, looking back at the sight before you

You heard a bit of ruffling signaling that someone was approaching you and you raised your head from Travis’ lap, sitting up next to him

“Ugh, it’s you” You groaned. Natalie Scatorccio. You didn’t like most of your teammates anyway, but she was something else completely. There was something about her that drove you crazy and you had no idea what it was.

“Nice to see you too Y/N” Natalie said with a scoff “Came to get you. We need your help with chores” She said after which you let out a dramatic groan, laying back down

“Sweep the fucking porch yourself” You called out, putting on Travis’ discarded flannel as it was getting chilly

“Oh you’re not sweeping the porch, princess” She said teasingly “You’re helping Shauna carve up the deer”

“I’m absolutely not doing that” You said, not bothering to get up, all while Travis watched the interaction with immense amusement

“What? It’s not organic or somethin’?” Natalie questioned, walking over to you, you stood up, tugging Travis who was now standing right behind you

“Yeah! I actually care what goes in my body!” You said with a snort, seeing her eyes darken just a little

“You’re such a bitch. Seriously, fuck you.” She said, trying to appear intimidating, though it wasn’t going too well. After a beat she walked off and you huffed out a laugh

“She’s not that bad, y’know?” Travis said and you turned around to face him. You hated your soft spot for him

“You wanna take her side now?” You said, deflecting. So typical.

“I didn’t say that, I’m just saying, you’re even meaner to her then the others. Plus, didn’t you say you wanted to try to be nicer and all that?” He said, at which you just chuckled, looking up at him

“This lighting is agreeing with you”

“Why thank you”

____________________________________________

Next morning, everyone gathered in front of the cabin, watching Taissa as she announced her plan to go searching for help. It was ridiculous, really. You all knew there effort would be fruitless, and that it was a huge risk.

“Like I said, we’re not on an island. If we go south we’ve gotta run into something eventually, a road, a town, anything!” She said, trying to reason with the girls. Safe to say, Van was very opposed

“Okay but you can’t just take our stuff” You said, leaning forward as Travis’ hand traced patterns on your lower back

“Yeah, I’m all for what you’re trying to do Tai, but the gun has to stay” Natalie said, you almost scowled at the thought of having the same idea as her.

“Then I’ll take some things that we don’t use every day. The compass, one of the axes—“ Taissa started again

“There’s a flair gun at the dead guy’s plane” Jackie chimed in

“Don’t tell me that you of all people are on board with this.” Van said in disbelief

The conversation flew by from then on, you completely zoned out.

Soon enough, you made your way to Travis’ room, seeing him packing a bag. What the hell does he think he’s doing?

“What are you doing?” You asked him as your eyebrows knitted together

“Oh uh— not to sound like a sexist asshole, but I think they could use a guy out there” He said as you sat on the bed

“You’re leaving?” You asked, sounding upset, the tone surprising both of you “I’m pretty sure they’ll be fine on their own”

You took the parfume he was going to pack, fiddling with the cap

“Yeah but still, the more people there are—“ He started, seeing the look in your eyes. You glared at him like he was saying the most ridiculus thing known to man

“I— Travis, don’t. Please, okay? Let them go through with their dumbass ideas, you don’t have to be part of it. Stay with me.” You said with an involuntary pleading gaze. It didn’t take him much convincing to stay- your puppy eyes and soft voice were things he rarely witnessed, and he took note of how genuine you really sounded.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He said softly, you got up on your feet, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips against his. His hands landed on your hips as he kissed you back just as eagerly. You smiled into it, breaking the kiss while his hands stayed where they were. You were still just a few inches away from him, giving him a small smile. These were the kind of moments you relished in. You brought the forementioned perfume to your nose, sniffing it and and grimacing

“God, this is gross” You said putting the cap back on and tossing the bottle onto the bed

“Yeah, my mom gave it to me before we left, thought it’d be a good disinfectant or something” He said, smiling involuntarily as the pads of his thumb rubbed your clothed hips

“I think you’d actually make it worse if you put this on someone”

You two heard commotion outside, signaling the girls were saying their goodbyes

“Got anyone to bid farewell?” He asked jokingly

“No.” You answered simly with a smirk, kissing him again as you both fell back on the bed

He started peppering kisses all over your face and neck while you laughed, holding onto his shoulders

“Travis!! There’s a number of girls in this fucking cabin, I would not hear the end of it” You said, still chuckling. The boy above you let out a dramatic groan into your neck but hovered back up to kiss you once more

“I’ll go see what’s going on” You said, getting up. You did turn around once more before you left, seeing him grin like an idiot. When you left, you seemed to walk into an intense conversation shared by none other then Jackie and Shauna. Come to think of it, Shauna had been weird since the whole ‘shark week’ thing. Seemed almost tense, though it was very subtle.

“Y/N, hey. Uh— a bunch of us are gonna go to the lake, you wanna come?” She asked, earning a sharp look from Jackie, simply for inviting you

“Yeah. Yeah, sure” Shauna was one of the girls you got along with fine, though the same couldn’t be said about her best friend. Jackie was someone you truly resented, it’s like everything you longed for, she got, everything. Of course you could never say that out loud. It’d make you seem awfully insecure- which you definitely were, but no one needed to know that. Shauna seemed to have picked up on the slight tension in the air, which became more unbearable as each moment passed

“Let’s just go, okay?” The brunette said, hurrying off to get dressed

As you got dressed and went down to the lake, you started a casual conversation with Lottie— people had noticed you became nicer out here. Maybe it was the impending doom, or maybe just the fact that you’d go nuts if you didn’t talk to anyone. They weren’t sure, didn’t care what it was and definitely didn’t voice it. Most of the girls were simply glad they got to see the unguarded version of a person that most of them knew since kindergarten. But God bless Lottie, she was eagerly talking about something, but you were too focused on someone else to even notice.

“Nat looks nice without all the makeup, right?” No no, there was no way you just said that out loud, or looked at her enough to notice, was there?

“I- yeah, guess so” Lottie, being nice as she is said

You mumbled a ‘yeah’ as Lottie carried on with whatever she was saying, not being able to help your eyes which wandered back to Natalie. Whenever she was around you she had her guard up, and this was the first time you’ve seen her laughing and having fun with friends. She always fascinated you in a way. Her careless attitude and aloof demeanor were something not many people had the courage to show. You wondered how, maybe even envied her for it a little. But not the way you envied Jackie. It is a hard feeling to explain.

“Wanna go into the water?” Lottie asked, snapping you away from your thoughts

“Huh? Oh- oh, sure” You said, getting up

She soon disappeared to go talk to Laura Lee, Lottie that is, while you teetered on the edge, the lake being cold and all.

“C’mon, don’t be a wuss!” Natalie yelled while you graced her with an eye roll as a reply

You made one more step and sighed— which soon turned into gasp at the feeling of being splashed with the frigid water by none other then-

“Natalie what the fuck?!”

“Dude it’s for just shits and giggles!” She yelled out with an eye roll of her own “Just get in here!” She spoke again. She was being actually kinda nice, which made you think for a moment, but then you remembered what you’ve been trying to acomplish— be at least civil to people. Nat was definitely a good place to start, so you held back a snarky remark or an uncalled for insult and just jumped in. It wasn’t a welcome sensation, to say the least.

“Get on top of Nat, we’re playing chicken!” Shauna said, hung on Jackie’s shoulders. You did reluctently climb onto Natalie while Lottie and Laura Lee cheered. You pushed Shauna with all your might, laughing and raising your arms up once you defeated them. You could feel and hear Nat laughing under you as she tapped your thigh. The slight touch sent a shiver down your spine, but that’s obviously because her hands were cold.

“Good job!” She said, seeing Jackie and Shauna swim out

“Yeah yeah” You muttered, but before you could finish, she threw you off her and into the water. You let out yet another surprised gasp as your back scraped against the rocks underneath the water, though you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were finally letting yourself be free for a little, and fuck did it feel good. The both of you laughed, holding each other underwater since she did fall on top of you.

“Wait wait wait—“ You started, fixing her eyebrows that were all mussed up, all while her eyes raked over your face, which you didn’t seem to notice.

“Uh- thanks.”

___________________________________________

The day went on, and after a couple of hours well spent lazing around and playing games, you lot did agree it was best to head back and start on “dinner”. You put one of Travis’ many flannels over your bikini (that was originally meant for the hotel pool) and grabbed your bag, walking back after.

“Hey! Wait up!” Natalie called out, rushing a little to catch up to you

“You talkin’ to me?” You questioned, turning around and slowing down a little

“Yeah, obviously…anyway you uh— you wanna go berry hunting before sundown? Could be fun” Nat asked with a tinge of hope and a small smile

“Yeah, no. Not my idea of fun.” You responded, turning back and walking now that she caught up and was by your side

“Well what about a card game or something before dinner? I just figure coach would—“

“What do you want, Natalie?” You asked, a bit annoyed, stopping in your tracks

“I was just—“ She started, but you cut her off

“We’re not friends…I mean— you know that, right? Jesus.” You stated bluntly

The blonde snorted before responding: “Yeah, we sure aren’t.” Nat said bitterly, walking off, or better yet, stomping

As soon as you all got back, you went to the room Travis slept in, seeing him reading a book. He looked kind of nice like this- without a care in the world, even though there was a lot to care for

“Hey, d’you have fun?” He asked, looking up and smiling softly. He probably didn’t even realize it.

“Yeah, I’m exhausted.” You said, dropping the bag on the floor and plopping down on the bed immidately

“No no no- don’t get the bed wet!” The boy exclaimed, which was valid, yet you did groan at having to get up again so you just dramatically rolled down, hitting the floor with a thud

“You are so extra.” Travis told you, chuckling, “And you need to stop stealing my clothes, I will run out of things to wear”

“You? I only packed clothes for a week! I’m actually going insane!! And I miss conditioner…and blowouts, and face masks. And cheeseburgers, I should’ve never held back” You stated groaning, the boy above you just chuckled at your little rant. He looked at you like you hung up the stars, which was cute in a way. However, you were so used to that look by now, you could barely register whether it was genuine. Still, you always felt like he didn't listen. Like- ever. Calling you random and extra were almost the only things in his vocabulary whenever you said more then two sentences.

“Travis! Y/N! Dinner is served!” Someone yelled— most likely Shauna, signaling you to finally make your way over and eat something.

____________________________________________

“There’re no queens in that deck, y’know?” Natalie said to Travis, walking into the cabin, though he didn’t respond

“Wanna try to hunt? I’m goin’.” She said— they were the designated hunters, but it was a bit of an unvocalized rule that one could take a day off if needed

“You go. You’re better at it anyway” He said, still fiddling with the deck

Nat snorted, packing her back before responding: “Your girlfriend is an asshole, y’know that?” The blonde asked rethorically, to which Travis just chuckled

“Am I interrupting something?” You asked, leaning against the doorframe and crossing your arms over your chest

“You’re good.” Travis called out

“And what are you doing this fine morning?” You asked Nat teasingly

“Hunting.” She stated bluntly, walking past you, which earned her a signature eye roll and scoff

“Well she’s got a twist in her panties…you know, I looked through that, there’s no queens” You said to Travis as your gaze softened, sitting next to him

“Oh I’ve heard” The boy responded, looking back at you before leaning in to give you a kiss “You slept through the entire morning, you feelin’ okay?”

“Oh no, yeah, I was just tired after all day yesterday…Any food left?” You questioned with a hint of hope

“Uhh, yeah. Jackie wanted to eat it but Natalie wouldn’t let her for shit.”

“…Oh” Well that did take you by surprise, I mean you tehnically weren’t rude to her but not exactly nice either

“Yeah, I’m gonna go to the lake, check out the fish traps” Travis said,

“Mmkay” You mumbled, giving him a peck on the cheek before he got up.

Now you were left all alone, a tad bit bored— you even considered doing chores, but after eating your hard earned food, definitely.

It felt like a fucking eternity, truly. You figured sweeping the floors couldn’t be all that bad, yet you were huffing and puffing as if you worked on a field all day. Although you could’ve been just biased— as a soccer player you were athletic anyway.

“Oh hey, you’re back!” You said excitedly, noticing your boyfriend had returned, letting the makeshift broom lean against the wall, “Wanna go for a walk? It’s pretty warm— is everything okay?“ You asked, noticing the look on his face that was much colder than the one he usually put on around you.

“Do you have just— like, no shame?” He questioned, leaving you wondering what the hell this was about

“Excuse me?” You asked with a small scoff, going up to the doorway

“Be fucking team captian? That is what you wanted?” He asked in disbelief, towering over you.

At this point, your throat felt dry and you weren’t sure what to do. Fess up? Bluff? Just say you don’t care and leave? But that’s the main issue of it all. You did care, for some reason. And you were afraid of losing him this way, especially out here.

“Look, I’m not gonna lie-“

“No?”

“No. Listen, maybe in the very beginning, yeah, I tried to get closer to your dad or whatever but the more time went on the more I started caring about you and-“ Your voice trembled. It was a weak response, a dumb excuse but it was the only one you could give

“Y/N I thought you wanted to- be together!” He stated, looking you right in the eye. It was always this way with him- beating around the bush before it becomes too much and one of you completely explodes. This time, it felt different, felt more serious.

You were on the spot, unsure of what to do or how to salvage the only relationship that actually meant something to you.

“I don’t know how to fix this. I’m not even sure you want me to.” A beat. “I just— I made a mistake”

“Yeah, well apparently so did I.” He said, throwing his arms up in disdain

“What the hell is that suppoused to mean?”

Your question was left unanswered as the boy simply walked away. You could hear the sound of his footsteps fading, your heart sinking a little more with each one. You hated it, all of it. The fact that this whole thing happened, this gnawing feeling, your eyes which were now watery, the shame and guilt or letting him find out in the first place. How the fuck did he find out?

“Y/N?” You heard a soft voice call out

You didn’t have to turn around as the mystery girl moved to stand next to you, placing a gentle hand on your back

“Nat? What is it?” The whole thing happened in maybe five seconds, but to you it felt like hours

“I heard the— are you okay?” She asked in the softest voice you’d ever heard from her. It took you by great surprise.

You looked at her even though your vision was mostly blurry, she stood close to you, trying to gauge how you’re feeling. There was absolutley no point in lying anymore so you just shook your head, which softened her gaze further.

“No no, it’s gonna be okay, let’s go for a walk, yeah?” She said and, you didn’t even fully register what she said. You also didn’t see her shooting Jackie a sharp glare- in fact, you didn’t notice Jackie at all.

Once you disappeared into the woods, the two of you settled down next to a small stream. It was quiet, and far away from everyone’s prying eyes. The blonde next to you pulled a flask out of her jacket pocket, handing it to you. You silently accepted, taking a generous gulp of…something. It was absolutley disgusting and made you grimace

“God, what is this?” You asked, passing it back to her, she chuckled before answering

“Vodka.” She said, taking a sip for herself

“Right…so how much did you hear?” You questioned, turning your head to look at her

“Not much. Just that last part.” She said, handing you the flask again “So what’d you do?”

You raised your eyebrows and sighed, taking one more swig before answering

“I uh- had a bad reason to get with him in the first place.” You said, practically scolding yourself

“Yeah, I figured it was something like that. But c’mon- it’s so obvious how much you care about him now” The blonde said, moving a little closer to you

“Not to him apparently.” Your voice trembled as your eyes watered again. God, this is not happening, you thought to yourself, not sure whether to be upset or embarrassed.

Here you were, sitting in bumfuck nowhere, feeling like the dirt on someone’s shoe and smuging your ridiculously expensive mascara over Travis Martinez. But there was Natalie too. She let you lean your head on her shoulder while rubbing soothing circles on your back. She made it all a little better. A little bareable.

“Do you think they’re okay?” You questioned after a series of sniffles and soft sobs, doing anything to get your mind off of this

“Hm?”

“Taissa…and the others.”

“Oh. I honestly don’t know.” She said, she knew she didn’t need to sugarcoat it around you. You shuffled just a little closer to her

“Thank you, for this, really.” She tilted her head down to look at you, and realized you were in fact, being genuine.

“Anytime.”

“I feel like- you’re the only person who’s not going insane out here. I mean Jackie and Shauna are being weird and Lottie’s fucking losing it—“ You started, realizing you were ranting

“Yeah, see how nice I really am? I’m sharing my very limited booze with you.” She said teasingly, to which you rolled your eyes, though this time it was playful

“Yeahhh! It’s radiating off of you.” You muttered, casually laying your head in her lap.

At this point, you were embarassed, upset, a little tipsy and definitely got a wave of post breakup clarity, so you weren’t exactly thinking about your course of action, though you did feel her stiffen up a bit. After a beat she eased into it, letting her hand travel lower to rub your back. It’s funny- this was a similar scene from a couple of days ago, though if anyone told you who it’d be with, you’d laugh right in their face. This time you couldn’t gaze at the sky, though you did gaze at its reflection in the small stream of water in front of you.

“How do you do it?” You asked in a low, raspy tone, not letting your eyes move away from the sight in front of you

“Do what?” Natalie responded, her movements stilling for a moment

“Not care. About anything. Or y’know, other people?”

The girl above you huffed in amusement, her gaze softening once you turned to lay on your back, looking up at her

“We all care, Y/N. Some of us are just good at hiding it. You are good at hiding it.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You glanced into her eyes- a beautiful blue which almost matched the sky above you. At this moment it was all erased- the petty fights, disagreements, arguments, icing each other out during practice, almost beating the other up in the locker room after (it only happened once); all gone. There was just a girl above you, she looked like a different person and truly felt like it too. Maybe you were the one that changed. Maybe she was always this way, but you’d never given her a chance. However you swore that if you looked at her from a different angle, you wouldn’t recognize her.

“So are we okay now?” She asked, moving some hair away from your face. Her voice had an uncertainty to it, it wasn’t the first time you went hot and cold on her out here

“Yeah, we’re okay. Friends even?”

“That sounds good.”

“Let’s go back, yeah? It’s gonna get dark soon.”

Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you saw when you got back. You sure did get a few curious and skeptical glances simply for being together, but nobody said anything; They were preoccupied with Misty, Akhila, and Mari who were explaining just what happened to Van. It was gruesome, and it left you wondering how the hell she was still alive. Natalie and you rushed over, gathering any nesseceties to start tearing off into the woods and looking for them, even though you dreaded the impending search.

It was getting significantly darker and the group was losing any hope of finding Taissa and Van anytime soon, or at all. Maybe no one wanted to admit it, but everyone was out of their minds with panic and worry.

“Are you sure this is the way you went?!” Shauna asked Misty

“I- I don’t know, it’s dark, I can’t see anything!” The girl responded, she was cut off by flames that shone distinctly behind the trees.

“It’s them!”

The entire group ran towards their missing friends, catching the two girls collapsed on the ground. It was even worse than you thought- Van was unrecognizable and Tai looked plain exhausted and spent.

You never did well with blood and gore— or anything similar to it, Nat seemed to have caught on it, squeezing your hand reassuringly. Only then you realized she was actually holding it.

She never for a second let go of you, until you made it back to the cabin. You lot arranged a makeshift surgery table for Akhila to stitch Van up. It was a truly nauseating sight, a few girls, including Natalie were holding her down while Lottie, Jackie and you stood back, watching in horror and disbelief. Just as she was halfway through with it, you couldn’t handle it anymore.

You quickly ran outside attempting to get fresh air and take deep breaths, though it was in vain as you were hunched over and holding onto the pillar with one hand, emptying out the contents of your stomach moments after. It’s not like there was much anyway.

As you were finishing up, you heard someone storm out and make their way to you. Until you could make out who it was, they already walked up to you.

“Are you alright?” Travis questioned, placing a hand on your back

You thought for a moment, narrowing your eyes. Like what the fuck were you suppoused to say? How did he even have the balls for this? Anyhow, you didn’t have a chance to respond as today’s knight in shining armor ran out as well.

“Let’s go to sleep, yeah? You need it, after today.” Natalie stated, already pulling you along with her, you just nodded, eternally grateful for her spectacular timing

The blonde entered the cabin with you, dragging your sleeping bag over next to hers. As soon as she did you laid down, and she followed by with you. The couple of you stayed like that for a moment before she spoke up.

“I’m glad we kinda cleared the air up. I mean if you think about it, we’re kinda two sides of the same coin, right?” She whispered with a breathy chuckle

“Yeah, me too. You know, I never really apologized for—“ You started, trying to find the words

“Being an asshole? A complete douchebag?”

“Yeah, that.” You said simply, a small involuntary smile graced your face

“It’s okay. I’ve seen you out here y’know? Like— how you’ve tried to be more calm and shit…Not that I’ve been watching you or anything just—“ Nat’s little praise rant was cut off by an annoyed Mari

“Jeeeeesus, you’ve been fighting for years and wanna have your little heartfelt conversation now? Just let us sleep.”

To that, Nat and you let out another couple of those breathy chuckles before she whispered once more

“Night, Y/N/N”

“Night.” You whispered back, turning your back to her. You could feel her soft breathing even out against your neck as you drifted off, feeling a sense of safety. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time, even before you crashed.

It felt like less then minutes of sleep as you got rudely awaken by none other then Laura Lee, banging…something. You couldn’t make it out, not this sleepy. You groaned, raising your head in sync with Natalie, whose arm was clung lazily across your midsection. The two of you were so close that once you sat up, you could feel her slightly ragged breathing on your cheekbone.

“You’re gonna fly?” The sentance by Lottie took you out. Until just now, you were too drowsy (or maybe just distracted by Nat and your’s proximity) to pay attention to what the blonde in front of you was saying— she wants to fly the abandoned plane?

“But you don’t know how.” Nat said, sitting up straighter

“I’ve read the flight manuel, and I checked the gas tank, it’s full!”

“You cannot be serious.” You stated in disbelief

“Look, I used to watch my grandpa fly, he even let me stir a few times, I know that I can do this! And you can’t deny that Van need serious medical attention.” Laura Lee said. You felt gnawing deja vu, remembering everything that happened just the other day when someone was convinced they could find a way to get the fuck out of here.

“She’s not the only one.” Jackie said. A beat. “Shauna, tell them.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, shooting a look to Natalie, which she returned. After a few seconds of slience, Shauna spoke.

“I’m pregnant.” The statement took everyone by surprise, it was followed up by a few gasps and a very curious Misty Quigley. There were also a few questions, though the only one that truly reached you was-

“Did it happen out here?!” By Mari. The thought and implication of the question itself made your stomach drop a little, though you were very relieved when Shauna replied with a firm no.

“It doesn’t matter when it happened, okay? It just matters that we get them both help.” Jackie said, looking around the room to get her point across

“Wait— if it didn’t happen here, who is the baby daddy?” You chimed in, only half joking, to which Nat chuckled beside you

“It doesn’t matter.” Jackie shot back

“Okay- no, Laura Lee, I’m not letting you do this. It’s not even close to safe.” Coach said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, at least to you

“There’s no safe anymore Coach Scott. Winter is coming, If I don’t do this then- we’re all gonna fucking starve.” The girl shot back at him. Her swearing did take you by surprise. And it’s not like Ben could do anything to stop her anyway. You couldn’t help but feel a flicker of hope at the whole ordeal.

Not more than fifteen minutes later, all of you gathered to help clean up the plane, and take it out of the shackles that the woods themselves created. At this moment, you found yourself talking to Nat yet again.

“Okay okay, what is the first thing you’re gonna do when we get back?” You questioned, tearing the vines around the left wing

“First thing? Oh I was gonna say take a shower but realistically it’ll be lighting up a blunt” She responded with a chuckle “What about you, princess?”

You truly tried to ignore the little overlap your heart made at the nickname she always teased you with, you did.

“Uhh…well mine will be taking a looooong bath. And doing an everything shower after” You answered

“The fuck is an ‘everything shower’?”

“It’s literally everything you can think of doing to butter yourself up. Like- hair wash, exfoliating, shaving and then after a blowout, maybe a face mask or something” You explained, feeling almost too upset by not being able to do any of those things. But you had bigger things to worry about. Like y’know- staying alive and stuff

“Your dreams are much more expensive then mine.” She replied to which you chuckled.

And you didn’t notice. You didn’t notice her eyes lingering on your features because your own lingered on something else. Someone else.

Rather yet, your longing gaze lingered on Travis, who was apparently having a very entertaining conversation with none other than Jackie fucking Taylor. She had to take that from you too?

See that’s the thing about addiction- you never really notice or think about anything else. You didn’t even notice when the girls first called out that Laura Lee was ready to go, you just kind of walked along.

Everyone was hugging her and saying their goodbyes. She embraced every single person without a second thought except you. You saw the glimmer of hesitation in her eyes when she approached you. Could you have been that fucking bad?

You went in and wrapped your arms around her anyway. It wasn’t the time to be petty.

Coach made one last attempt to try and talk the girl out of her risky plan, but she didn't budge. The blonde took off, she was really fucking doing it. She was flying.

Every single one of you were ecstatic, cheering and running towards the edge of the lake. This had given you all more hope then anything else in the past couple of months. You could be back home so soon. A thought that crossed your mind was having a spa day with Nat, you're sure she'd never been pampered that way before. You thought about exploring this new friendship out in the real world, which sent a thrill through you. You reached for her hand since she was right beside you, and she happily held it. Everything in this moment was perfect.

"Is that smoke?" Jackie asked, your brows knitted together as you tried to look for the source of her concern.

You didn't have to look for long. Mere seconds after, the plane exploded with a big flash. The shriek you let out was practically inaudiable compared to the loud 'bang' the explosion caused. You were startled, falling flat on your ass on the cold sand beneath you, the force with which you fell pulled Nat down with you too.

She snuck a hand around your waist, gripping you tightly as you both let out soft sobs of disdain and shock. The sight of Lottie, crumbling down because of the sudden loss was too much to bare. You couldn't even begin to imagine how it must feel, losing a person so dear to you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the crisp morning the sunlight beamed through the cabin, waking you from your restless sleep. It had been weeks after the incident, but the weight of it was still very present. A few girls that were up greeted you, and you grumbled a quiet 'morning' to them. It wasn't good- you simply acknowledged that it was morning.

Your eyes fell to Natalie's sleeping form beside you. She looked oh so peaceful, one of her hands rested on your hip and the other was above her head. Her lips were slightly parted and they formed a small pout. All the muscles in her face were relaxed and her chest rhythmically rose and fell. She was beautiful. You snuggled up to her, hoping to get a bit more rest before the day. You felt her stir a little, seeking your warmth even in her sleep. After a few minutes you noticed her breathing differ, as well as her lips curving into a small smile against your shoulder. The two of you had grown impeccably close since your break up with Travis, the day she comforted you like no one else ever had, or would.

"Hey."

"Hey Nat." You said, turning to face her

"Sleep well?" She asked, removing the hand from your hip and placing it under her head

"Nope." You responded simply, popping the p

"Yeah I figured...I'm starving" She muttered, burying her head further into your shoulder

You let out a bitter chuckle before responding, "Welcome to the fuckin' club"

The two of you laid there for a bit, relishing in the calm atmosphere- knowing it wasn't gonna last much longer.

A few hours had passed by, and the entire group was now awake and huddled by the fireplace while Mari worked on making breakfast, the meal being none other then a bunch of worms Shauna and Akhila brought back. You sat at Nat's feet, hugging your knees close to your chest with one arm as the girl finally handed you your food. Your face contorted in a slight, involuntary scowel at the sight

"Just pretend it's fries or something, yeah?" Natalie spoke above you, to which you silently nodded

"God, I can't to this" Mari said, disappearing for a moment. Once she returned, she had a jar of some kind of liquid with her

"What is that?" "Was some berries I was trying to save, but i think it might've turned into booze? I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use a drink."

"Do we think it's safe?" Tai asked with a hint of reluctence

"Do we care?" Good point.

"I don't!" You called out, extending your arm

"I have a few more." "If we have booze let's have a party." Jackie said in a flat tone- one that wasn't characteristic for her in the slightest

"Yeah, cause we have sooo much to celebrate" Taissa responded sarcastically

"Do we need a reason? We're gonna be dead in a few weeks." Jackie said, which yeah- true, but it was weirdly unsettling hearing it from her. She was the team's spirit, always hopeful and ready to offer reassurence and a smile. Even if you weren't fond of the girl, you wondered what could've changed her perspective so suddenly.

"...We packed dresses for the awards dinner. And it's gonna be homecoming soon"

"There's gonna be a full moon tomorrow" "Well there we go! We have dresses, we have booze, we can decorate...have sort of a moon homecoming." Jackie said, trying to convince the group

"More like a doom homecoming" Taissa said jokingly- though Van didn't seem to find it funny as she practically ran off

"A doomcoming" Lottie said, seemingly a bit out of it, but you did snicker at the idea. And so did Nat.

"Now that's a party idea" She said, looking over at Lottie

You leaned back, resting your head on Nat's knee

"Yeah, alright, a doomcoming- we'll drink rotten berries and celebrate our impending death.”

After that, you found yourself by Natalie's side, looking for branches, twigs, leaves, and little flowers, or anything that could help with decoration, really (which meant she was looking and you were walking along with her).

"So how've you been?" She asked, tearing something off a tree

"You know, you ask me that every day and the answer never changes" You replied, looking down at your grown out and chipped manicure

"Maybe I hope it will." She said sarcastically with her signature grin, turning to face you. Her expression suddenly became a bit more serious "He asks about you all the time, y'know?" She said reluctently, as if she was debating wether to voice it or not

And oh, yeah, him. That. You didn’t really care anymore, as bad as that sounds. Sure, it was tough at times, with him being around all the fucking time, but it had been a month or so, and to say Nat made it all easier is a rude understatement.

"You two really got nothin' better to talk about then me, huh?" You said sarcastically, picking a little white flower from the ground. She chuckled a little before speaking again

"I just thought you might wanna know he does miss you." She said, there was a bitter edge to her tone

“Maybe. But there’s no point in digging through the mud. All you get is dirty.” As you said this, you noticed the look on her face- none other than relief. You just wondered why she’d be relieved you don’t want anything to do with Travis anymore. But of course, you didn’t think too much of it.

"Do you wanna- go together?" Nat asked, fiddling with the makeshift decorations in her hand

"Like to the dance? Sure, I guess. I never went with a friend before." Ohh, you sweet summer child.

"First time for everything I guess" She said, walking again

You followed up behind her, ranting mindlessly about random stuff and the things you missed most about being home. She pretty much just listened, chiming in from time to time. That's what you loved about her, she always let you talk about anything yet never seemed to grow bored. Not only that, but in future conversations she even brought up little details you'd told her. She was listening. Soon enough you got back to the cabin, saying a quick bye to her before going inside.

"You done with that?" You asked Jackie, pointing to her pink caboodle

"Uh yeah, you can have it!" She said with a small smile

You muttered a quick 'thanks' , picking it up and applying a bit of make up, even though you kinda hated having to do your eyeshadow with your hands.

"Looks pretty." The girl said simply

"Thank you." You responded, not taking your eyes off the mirror. This is what you hated most about her- how fucking nice she was. If she was at least a bitch, you wouldn't feel bad about being a jealous idiot. Little did you know why she was being even nicer all of a sudden. But just like everything else, you brushed it off. Didn't think about it at all. Not when someone else was on your mind- there was no room for her.

What you couldn’t stop thinking about was Natalie. She looked, like, pretty today. Like, really pretty. You could only imagine how she’d look tonight. And yeah- you thought about her a lot. Almost whenever she was away, you thought about her. You didn’t know- but she was the same way. Sue you guys! You finally got a good friend that you can rely on and hug and smoke weed with and kiss! Woah- anyway. Yeah, that thought was a momentary lapse. Back to makeup.

Once you were done with all that, it was time to put on your dress. Which you couldn’t fucking zip yourself, ugh.

“Someone? Help please!” You shouted out, being met with hurried footsteps soon enough

“What? What? Oh, right, dress” Nat said storming in- maybe she thought a snake attacked you or something

You just snickered as she walked up to you, standing behind you to help you with the zipper. It felt oddly intense, really. First, she let her hand drop from your shoulder to you hip, then finally dragged the damn piece of metal up your back. If you didn’t know her, you’d think she was trying to act out a scene from a soap opera. But really, she was always this way with you- which is normal! Girls help each other out, is what you learned out here, Natalie just does it better then most. You finally turned around to look at her, raising your eyebrows and giving her an amused grin

"Well you sure clean up well" You said, leaning against the wall and crossing your arms over your chest. And you weren't lying. She looked fucking hot in a leopard print dress.

"Right back atcha...you done with your hair?"

"Uhh yeah, why?" You asked, furrowing your brows before she held a finger up and excused herself, leaving you wondering what the hell she was doing.

It didn't last long though, as she emerged back through the door in under a minute, holding two dainty makeshift tiaras that seemed to be made out of a few twigs in her hands

"I know it's kinda cheesy but- I figured you didn't make anything and all of the girls will probably put something in their hair, so I thought I could make us like- matching ones. You don't have to wear it!" She said, pretty much rambling. All you could think about is how thoughtful this was. And as she said, yeah, it was cheesy, but who cares! This might be your last party ever, might as well go all out.

"No no, Nat, I really love it. Thank you." You told her, glancing at the mirror as you put it on.

"Pretty." She said simply, and you tried to pretend it had the same effect on you as when Jackie said it earlier, or anyone really. Even Travis, though he never said it a lot.

"We should go...make our fuckin' amazing grand entrance and all that." She said, shuffling from one foot to another

"Yeah, let's go"

"Let the doomcoming begin!" Lottie called out as you all entered. It was a good thing, all this. Made you almost feel normal. Y'know- a teen girl, going to a high school dance, longing for a girl, boy.

First that went in were Jackie and Shauna, no surprise there, soon followed Mari and Akhila then Ben and Misty. After them, you and Nat came in while she held onto your arm. The two of you settled into a corner as she handed you a glass of the rotten berries.

Almost immediately after that, a small smile graced her face and she tugged on your arm, pointing back to the entrance. Pointing at Tai and Van. It was such an endearing sight, really.

"Are they-"

"Duh."

*kiss*

*cheering*

"Nat and Y/N too though, right?"

"Oh definitely!"

"Tonight's special, here" Natalie said in her usual sarcastic tone, giving you some of the broth Mari had made for tonight. I mean you were starving anyway, so you downed it almost immediately as the two of you engaged in conversation with some of the girls.

Bit of time had passed, and now that (almost) everyone was well fed, you moved onto the drinking. The berries were fucking terrible, but at least it was something.

"Stop." Lottie started as everyone turned to look at her, "We should have a moment of silence for Laura Lee."

"Yeah."

"To Laura Lee." "To Laura Lee."

Afterwards, the first to speak was Nat, "So, what now?" She asked beside you in anticipation

"Oh, now we just need the DJ to pump up the volume."

"What we need is a slow dance!"

Everyone looked around in anticipation before Lottie started humming 'Kiss by a Rose', to which everyone followed suit until someone played it on their walkman.

Natalie and you awkwardly turned to each other before chuckling. She took the liberty of wrapping her arms around your neck, whereas your hands landed on her hips.

Normally, you would've been seething at the sight of Jackie and your ex right in front of you, but you were too distracted by Natalie's slender frame dancing along with you. Not only did she block the view, but everything else around you. You still did feel a bit uneasy, and you fucking hated it.

"You wanna get out of here? I have real booze." Nat asked, of course she noticed. Fully noticed your discomfort with the situation.

"Please."

The two of you sat on the cold ground, taking a quiet breather, God knows you needed it. Both of you had been so stressed and tired, just like everyone else. Still, being with each other brought you a strange sense of comfort. It was weird- you'd only been friends for about a month, maybe even less, but it didn't make your connection any less strong

"Do you think Travis and Jackie will hook up tonight?" You asked suddenly- you felt strangely lightheaded. Could've been the booze.

"I uh... I mean I dunno." Oh how obvious it was she was trying to make you feel better.

"They probably will, right? He's so stupid." You muttered, bringing your knees close to your chest and resting your head on them.

"Hey, look, who cares, right? He's just a dumb boy, and he has no idea what he's missing." She reassured

"I mean like, yeah, he's a dipshit, but still. I don't even think it's about him, I don't know how to explain it..."

"Well you felt safe with him. Maybe you weren't in love with the person but just, y'know, being loved, liked, whatever. You got off on it." She said, still not drinking. That you noticed, and you were a little proud- she didn't ask for the bottle, not once. "And I don't mean like your puppets and arm pieces back home, more as truly appreciated."

"Damn Nat"

"See? I'm a total philosopher!" She responded with a small grin, one you learned to love

"Yup. Sure are. Oh also!" You started, laying down which she did too, "I don't think I ever like, formally apologized for always being a hugeee cunt. So- I'm very sorry."

"Well you're very forgiven. See how a near death experience softened you? Plus you apologized about fifty times." Nat said teasingly, turning her head to look at you

The two of you were just frozen in the moment, staring at each other whilst you laid so close your arms were touching

"Nat I feel reallyyy weird"

She giggled softly before answering, "You're high, so-"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah uh, you remember that time Misty poisoned coach?" "Mm."

"I think she put whatever that was in the food. Shrooms probably." Nat clarified, her eyes still boring into yours

"Seriously? Is it dangerous or something?" You questioned

"I mean, I don't think you can die from them." She said matter-of-factly

"Good enough for me. Dude this is an amazing buzz" You groaned out, tearing your eyes from hers and throwing your head back

She chuckled softly in response, still looking at you. And she wasn't ogling you or anything, she was fucking admiring you.

"You're stunning." She stated simply, her voice raspy and raw.

"Nat-" You started, but there was no way you could get any words out.

It could've been the shrooms, could've been the literal impending doom of knowing you were a dead girl still somehow walking. Maybe it was the loneliness of having your, admittedly toxic, safety net ripped away from you, or maybe the fact that you became a whole new person in the course of the last few months. You didn't know what it was, but you knew there was some kind of force pulling you towards this girl in a way that was more then friendly. Realizing that in the moment was like a soft caress, like one you'd never felt before. Accepting this was accepting a part of yourself you always knew was there, but it was buried deep down within you. But right now, you didn't care, for whatever reason mentioned. You just saw. You saw a beautiful, sensational girl before you.

Then you felt. You felt your heart do a somersault in your chest the moment you leaned in and brushed your lips against hers.

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baobpn · 16 hours ago

Text

❝ Healing Scars ❞ (Part 1)

——— A mark left by a traumatic event. Not all scars can be healed but it can be soothed to the point of acceptance.

I have this SUPER angsty Caleb x MC x Zayne backstory idea that’s been plaguing my mind and I’m cursing my inability to illustrate it so imma write about it

Please don’t kill me, I promise it ends with comfort

⬩ Relationship: Caleb x Female!Reader x Zayne

⬩ Word Count: 826

⬩ Tags: Angst • Hurt/Comfort • Hospitalization • Mentions of depression • MC is Reader • Female Reader

On a summer cool afternoon, Caleb and MC were playing in the river and discovered a strange metal object. Neither of them knew what it was so Caleb agreed to go find Zayne (since he is a child prodigy and probably would know). In the meantime, you searched for any sticks to help dig out the metallic object.

Caleb locates Zayne seated on his porch reading his book. He practically had to drag Zayne off of his property since asking wasn’t going to convince him. Zayne wasn’t the type to exert a lot of energy so he wasn’t running back to the location like Caleb was.

If only he did.

Before his arrival, a huge explosion went off. That day was the first time Zayne ran with urgency.

It was a devastating sight to see. The thick black smoke slowly rises up into the air and the earth’s surface is deeply disturbed. Off to the side Caleb is unconscious but clearly injured. As for MC, she needed immediate medical attention.

. . .

When he was finally permitted, Zayne routinely visited the hospital. Each time he only brought two bouquets of flowers, but today he brought a jar full of origami stars and a portable console.

Making headway to the elevator, he went to the floor where Caleb was stationed. Caleb’s condition was recoverable, however it came at the cost of amputating his right arm. Unsurprisingly, this pushed him into a deep depression. Whenever Zayne visited, Caleb ignored his presence. Zayne knew his friend was trapped in his mind but refused to take that as a sign to give up on him.

He heads towards his usual sitting area: the wide window with a cushioned bench embedded in front of it. Setting down the items he brought with him, Zayne took the console out of his pocket and booted up a game.

The obnoxious “You are dead” sound cue repeatedly played throughout the hour of his stay. It has gotten to the point where Caleb groaned after hearing the sound again. Zayne, looking up from the console, stares at Caleb. “Is something wrong, Caleb? Do you need me to get a nurse?”

Caleb stayed still, refusing to respond back to him. However, there was a visible sign of annoyance on his face.

Zayne glancing back down on his console resumed playing the game. After the next death screen, he sighed in defeat. “I don’t understand how you can play these types of games. They are unnecessarily complex despite being advertised to us.”

Zayne hopped off the bench and walked around to the right side of Caleb’s bed. Pulling himself up, he sits closely so his friend doesn’t have to strain himself to see the screen.

Caleb glances over and his eyebrows furrowed deeper. “You only have to jump the gap.”

Zayne knew that.

“Really”, Zayne tilts his head. “Mind showing me how?”

What was a few minutes of instructing turned into an hour of collaborating to defeat the first boss. The dull look behind Caleb’s eyes was finally shining with determination and excitement.

That was the first time in 11 months Caleb has responded to Zayne.

An array of bright orange, pink and purple hues slowly began to blanket the sky. Dusk was Zayne’s least favorite time of day because it was a signal he needed to head back home.

Retrieving the bouquet of flowers and jar from the bench, Zayne headed towards the door.

“Hey, you left behind your *XYZ Deck!” Caleb called out after him.

(*This is a make believe handheld console)

Zayne briefly turns around and gives a small smile. “You can have it, consider it a gift from me.”

Joy was bubbling within Zayne as he exited the hospital room. He loved playing video games with you two but he lessened the amount of time after you complained about him always knowing what to do. Since then he preferred to observe but it was still a bad habit of his to call out the mistakes you and Caleb make.

Zayne enters the elevator and looks up to read the clock on the wall. He still had enough time to spare to make a short visit.

He presses the 11F button and stares down at the floor as the elevator quickly whisks by each floor.

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, he exits the elevator after the ding. The smell of the hospital thickened on this floor and Zayne hated it. He once requested the staff to implement scented air fresheners to lighten up the atmosphere, but they politely declined his request, informing him that it was against their regulations

As his body auto-pilots to his destination, he stopped in front of a door and stood around for what felt like an eternity. He knew what he was going to see, yet each time he wished it was different.

He raises his hand to lightly knock on the wooden door. “I’m coming in.”

PART 2 COMING SOON

✦ Dividers Credit plum98 , bloodibambiidoll , and dollywons

#love and deepspace #lads #caleb #zayne #caleb x reader #caleb x mc #zayne x reader #zayne x mc #caleb x zayne if you squint #angst #hurt/comfort #female reader

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xwinterwidowx · 2 days ago

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waiting for my hair dye to set in so i finished writing this got another fic lined up for later td!

Shadow was raised by humans, so he didn't know normal hedgehog behavior. He wasn't a normal hedgehog anyways. So he unknowingly flirted with Sonic without even realizing it. It was just instinct. And Sonic found it adorable. Shadow also wouldn't realize when Sonic was flirting with him. He'd run around in circles around the black hedgehog, who in return would roll his eyes and scoff at him.

Tails went up to Shadow one day to tell him what he was noticing. He was tired of his brother ranting about how much he loved Shadow.

"Hey, Shadow?" Tails knocks on Shadow's door.

"What is it?" he grumbles, rolling over in his bed.

"I wanna talk to you. About Sonic." Shadow mumbled something unintelligible and sat up.

"What has he done this time?"

"Nothing. But, uh," Tails closes the door and walks forward. "Do you know how hedgehogs... flirt?"

"Do you?"

"Well, yeah. I've researched it."

"Of course you have," Shadow mumbles. "What about it?"

"You're unknowingly flirting with Sonic. You purr when you're comfortable and around him. You were originally aggressive around him and now you've loosened up. Just like how the female hedgehog does-"

"Are you calling me the female hedgehog?" Shadow snaps.

"No! Well-yes. But I'm just saying!"

"Get out!"

"Sonic likes you!" The small fox blurts out. "And I'm tired of hearing him talk about you for hours on end. He literally never shuts up about you. The male hedgehog usually runs in circles around the female. Have you not noticed Sonic do that to you?"

"That's what the idiot is doing..." he mutters.

"He likes you. And you like him too, don't you? Because I see you around him. Hedgehogs purr when when they're mating. And you do that around Sonic. He does it too."

"So maybe I do. Maybe I like him. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Did you listen to anything I just sai-he's literally in love with you!"

What.

"No he's not. He's just... lonely," Shadow says, his mind spinning.

"He's told me. He loves you, Shadow. Just tell him you care about him. He would probably be overjoyed to hear that."

"Well... you're wrong. I don't... care about him." He regrets the words the second they come out of his mouth.

"Shadow-"

"Get out, Tails."

"Fine. But just pay attention to how Sonic acts around you." Tails leaves Shadow with three words spinning in his head.

Sonic loves you.

He couldn't. Sonic was just friends with him. And he couldn't like... a guy. Could he? Hedgehogs weren't supposed to be gay. But every time he thought about Sonic, his heartrate went up. After sitting in bed for about an hour, he was hit with the realization that he was pathetically in love with Sonic. So he went to the blue hedgehog's room and didn't even bother knocking.

"You like me." He could have said literally anything else but the only thing that came out was that.

"What?" Sonic sputters, looking up and locking eyes with Shadow. "What are you talking about?"

"Tails told me. He said-he said I like you and that you love me. Is that right? Is he right?"

"Shadow-" Sonic starts but Shadow cuts him off.

"Just tell me, Sonic!"

"Yes..." he mumbles.

"Is that why you're always so comfortable around me? And you're always running in circles around me? Because Tails said the male runs around the female-"

"Are you calling yourself the female?" Sonic snorts.

"Shut up! That's not the point, idiot!" Shadow snaps.

"Then what is?" Sonic's face hardens slightly.

"That... I like you too. And... if you wanted, maybe we could do something."

"Shadow, are you asking me out on a date?" Sonic teases.

"Maybe. Maybe I'm asking you to be my boyfriend." Sonic's eyes widen and Shadow snorts. "What would you say if I was?"

"I'd say yes."

"Guess what, then," Shadow walks towards his bed and sits down in front of him. "I have a boyfriend," he smiles.

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the ultimate lifeform #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #fanfic #sonic fanfiction #sonic fandom #shadonic #sonic #fanfics #tails the fox #miles tails prower #sonic and tails #tails needs a break #i love tails #gay hedgehogs

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biibini · 12 hours ago

Note

hiiii i love ur writing!!! if ur doing requests... can u do high school au teen mizu (like 16 or 17) x reader where the reader and mizu are in the same grade (preferrably with an artist/nerd reader) (this is very self indulgent) i would love that so much!!!

high school!mizu AU x artist!reader

tags: high school AU, teen mizu, reader is an artist, assume this AU is completely different from college!mizu that i usually write, cringy, vines are mentioned,

a/n: hs was a while ago but ooo i just have some thoughts on teen!mizu. writing this and looking back on high school made me internally cringe but i was free. currently tweaking from job apps like pls pls hire me plssss

teen!mizu is kind of… how to put in… an awkward loser mess of a student

in college, she def grows up more and becomes her own person and fades out of that awkward phase-ish

but in high school?

kinda maybe sorta pathetic loser behavior

(she’s just an awkward kid, like most ppl in high school… trust me, ive been there too)

but she won’t really make small talk with other peers that she doesn’t recognize,

awkward with eye contact,

she never really nailed that down until later on,

when called on, she doesn’t really pay attention so she ends up saying the wrong answer half of the time

and when she does get called on, all of a sudden she can’t get her hand up without having to fight for a say against her friend akemi, little miss know-it-all

teen!mizu references the most niche tiktoks, most notably, niche vines.

yes. u read that right. vine compliations on youtube.

there’s at least a playlist of 1 hour compilations with titles starting with “TRY NOT TO LAUGH Best Funny Vines of the Year!”

she would probably in one of her classes goofing around with ringo and rip a “whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a hoe”

(iykyk)

does it make ringo laugh? yes.

he would also be spitting the same thing, word for word, bar for bar with her.

but she would never reference that outside of her friends

teen!mizu would not care ab classes

yes, she’s smart but she wont apply herself too hard because at the end of the day, its whatever

don’t worry, eiji would always berate her ab her work ethic despite the A’s and a rare B he would see on her grades

taigen would always be a pain in the ass, constantly nagging her to at least try and “lock in” so he can get a better score than her

he ends up losing to mizu every time by 1-2 points

“This cannot be real, chat.”, Taigen yells.

The buzz of the school bells ring over Taigen’s bitching, thank god. The signal of the end of the school day meant to stop all thoughts about calculus, chemical reactions, or the meaning of the green light emitting from the lighthouse. Time to go home and be away from everyone, minus Ringo, of course.

Mizu shrugs, showing off her grade on the recent pop quiz. Written on her quiz was a 96%, circled in a bold red pen.

“It’s real.”, she claims, waving the quiz in front of Taigen’s beet-red face.

“Every fucking time bro.”, he groans.

In front of Mizu’s tracks was Akemi, waving her paper around like a flag, with a smug look plastered on her face.

“Oh, it’s real.”

She pushes her paper in front of Taigen and Mizu. Circled on her paper was her result: 100%.

“I can never win.”, Mizu sighed.

teen!mizu would NOT know how to act around crushes

a cute girl would pass by and she would end up staring too long,

get caught looking at their direction,

or end up bumping into the wall

totally doesnt happen often it happened 3 times

she has confidence in herself but the second she gets to the point of a real conversation, it’s out the window and dying on the floor

and when she does get a chance to talk, it typically doesn’t go the way she thought it would

and she’d end up asking the same question again

“What did you get on the quiz?”, Mizu asks, placing her hand by her scalp oh so nonchalantly.

“Didn’t you just ask me?”

Her eyes widen in panic, realizing her idiotic mistake.

“Shit, uhhh…I just uh… thought you couldn’t hear me.”

yeah she never talked to that girl for the rest of the school year…

although when it came to you, things were a lil different

teen!mizu kind of… maybe… lowkey… had a thing for you

not necessarily a huge romantic crush, but more of a friendly crush that stemmed from the little moments of interaction during art class

yes she would replay those moments again and again in her head

and prob go crazy over how idiotic she sounded

at first glance, you didn’t stand out to her

just another person she didn’t know

but your interest and focus on your artwork got her attention in a rowdy environment

while everyone else during the free period was ditching school, hanging with friends, or on the rare occasion: seeing their teachers for help, you were patient amidst the chaos in the art room

with akemi bickering with ringo over which glaze they should pick for their project

and on the other end of the classroom, taigen and his posse of bros cursing at their work

there in the middle of the classroom was you

Among the swarm of curses and bickering, the art room was usually the rambunctious classroom during free period. At Kyoto High, teachers and students were never familiar with the concept of peace and quiet.

You, however, were the rare few.

Mizu’s gaze went across the large industrial table, observing your calm movements amidst the chaos on your left and right. With Ringo pointing out all the flaws of each project choice and Taigen’s friends screeching in stress, you were focused on your carving as if no one in the world existed in that moment.

Your face, calm and focused, struck a dry chuckle out of Mizu. Her eyes glanced up to your eyes, gentle yet determined, while your head bopped to whatever song you were playing through your wired headphones. She then got distracted from the gloss from your lips, making them look rather soft and plump.

Maybe even kissable.

Wait what?

Mizu shook away the thought, placing her hands on her own project in order to distract her mind.

With a deep breath, her mind cleared. The scene in front of her was a comical one, regardless of your pretty face. However, this was the time to be focused…

Right?

teen!mizu would practically pray that you were there in the art room during every free period

hoping to find you at the same seat, surrounded by chaos every time

and every time, mizu would sit across from you in silence, partially in awe as well

although you’ve kept your focus on your handiwork, you weren’t oblivious to her presence

every free period would run like clockwork

it was comforting to know a familiar place but you never shared any classes with her

teen!mizu , eager to know you more, ends up confining in akemi ab her little art class crush for the sake of information

after getting another pep talk by akemi about how to just “relax and be yourself”, she finally spilled the beans

“From what I know, her name is Y/N and she’s a transfer.”, Akemi answered.

“From where?”

Akemi quickly types on her phone, her nails clanging against the screen. Before Mizu could even read the text, the phone immediately buzzed.

“Tokyo High…”, Akemi quickly responded, “Damn, you picked a smartie and a hottie.”

Akemi quickly whipped around her phone, showing Mizu a golden treasure: your Instagram account.

“How did you—”

“Don’t question my ways, just get to know her a little before you stumble your words.”

Mizu huffed in response, trying to focus on any signs of a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend, if she’s lucky.

Thank god for Instagram highlights.

It didn’t take long for Mizu and Akemi to find your love life. An old highlights section with a little heart as the title, showcasing your history of significant others, including a girlfriend.

A smug smile grew on Akemi, always proud of her spy work.

“Bingo.”

teen!mizu, now filled with hope, interacts with you more, little by little with a “you’re here for free period again?” or a “how was your day?”

those little interacts continued to grow her crush on you

although its a friend crush, she couldn’t help but grin a little when you asked to sit next to her during the free period

after finding out you were in the same grade, teen!mizu‘s heart definitely exploded in glee

“Are you okay? You look a little hot?”, you question in concern, looking at her flushed cheeks.

“Oh, um… yeah, it’s a little hot in here.”, Mizu quickly responded, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.

Underneath her totally normal response, she was in panic because:

A. You’re in the same grade as her. That increases the chance of you guys potentially spending more time together.

B. You just called her hot.

C. Your leg is currently 4 inches away from her leg…

“It’s okay!”, you reassure her, “It’s probably from this weird heatwave. The art room can get a bit stuffy from the shitty AC.”

She somehow thanked the universe and the sun rays at that moment. Mizu zipped down her jacket, pulling the entire thing off and playing along with her response. Little did she know a pair of familiar eyes next to her was watching.

Did you also have a crush on her? Maybe.

Did you want to talk about it? Absolutely not.

Did you stare at her arms, well toned from fencing, as if they were the last piece of juicy meat on earth? Mm…Yes.

You quickly whipped back into place as Mizu fixed her posture, now facing her upcoming project. However, Mizu caught a glimpse of your gaze without notice. Her heart skipped a beat.

One quick glance at your stiffened posture confirmed her curiosities: mutual (potentially romantic) interest.

She looked up at you to meet your gaze. Although everyone was talking, it had felt like time had slowed down between the two of you.

Before Mizu could open her mouth, the bell buzzed, signaling all students to move on to their next class.

You quickly gathered your things, before basically sprinting out the doorway.

“See you tomorrow!”, you waved goodbye, smiling at Mizu.

Mizu waved back, her heart practically palpitating from whatever just happened 30 seconds ago.

Oh, how she couldn’t wait for the next free period tomorrow.

#mizu blue eye samurai #mizu bes #mizu x reader #blue eye samurai #teen!mizu x reader #teen!mizu #modern!au #blue eye samurai modern #ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ reqs for bini

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capacle · 21 hours ago

Text

Roll first, think later

There’s a fascinating phenomenon I observe every time I play with beginners.

Of all the unwritten rules new players are expected to grasp through play, a very common one is when to interject their narrative with a dice roll. Sure, most games have a variation of “describe what you want to do, and then roll the dice to see how it goes,” but exactly when one should stop narrating what happens and let the dice tell part of the story is more of an art form.

I usually see beginners falling somewhere between one of two ends of the spectrum. There’s either:

Player: “I swing my sword at them and cut them in half, and I look around, and the princess has fallen in love with me.” GM: “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s, uh… start with the attack roll first. How about that?”

Or:

GM: “It’s your turn.” Player: “Oh.” *rolls a d20* GM: “Wait, wait, wait. What are you even trying to do?”

It usually takes a few rolls (or a few sessions), but once we grasp that timing, it becomes so second nature that any game that subverts that norm feels… weird.

Well, it just so happens that I love weird.

“I punch them and knock them out.” Photo by Johann Walter Bantz on Unsplash

The misfortunes of fortune

When I say “norm” above, I’m oversimplifying. Different games have different moments when you’re expected to stop and roll the dice. Even within the same game, different types of action might call for different timing in rolls.

This "dice roll placement" is what is normally referred to as fortune positioning, and if you search online for “fortune in the middle”, for example, you’ll find… well, contradicting definitions. But that’s beside the point. What’s important is that fortune positioning determines at which point in the trajectory from declaration of intent and narrated outcome we stop to check the dice (or any form of resolution mechanic, really).

Traditionally, players learn when and how to do it by experience—observing their friends, absorbing table culture, and getting it wrong a few times until they get a feel for it.

For some actions, it is easier to tell the right moment. If you are using a specific ability, there’s usually a well-defined order in which things happen. You say, “I’m going to activate my Soul Blast” or whatever, and we go, “OK, roll, and then we see what happens.”

Things get murkier when there’s no hard-coded procedures, like social situations in trad games. You perform that incredible speech but roll poorly—now what? Do we undo what you just said? Do we make some mental gymnastics to justify why it didn’t land? Should you have gotten a bonus because of your roleplay? But if your character is not very charismatic in the first place, should they have even been able to articulate such a compelling argument? Endless discussions over this topic alone have filled forums for the past decades.

Even when games have a much clearer instruction about fortune positioning—like PbtA games, which literally have a trigger for every move—it is still an acquired skill to understand when to shut your mouth and say, “Well, I guess we have to roll now, right?”.

“Well, I guess I actually insulted the king instead.” Photo by Julia Taubitz on Unsplash

Fortune at the extremes

There’s no one solution for that situation, because, at least for me, it is not a problem to begin with. I see it instead as a fertile ground for experimentation.

I’ve tried different approaches for fortune positioning with my games, and I especially like to push the needle beyond what’s usually considered the far ends of the spectrum. Let me explain what I mean.

See, when people describe “fortune at the end”, it usually implies that you describe everything that your character is able to do to affect the outcome, then you roll the dice, and then narrate the result. But what if you narrated even the outcome before you rolled the dice?

That’s what I did in Insurgent. The game says:

Regardless of your result, everything you describe happens exactly how you describe it. The roll of the dice determines the fallout of your action.

See, the dice don’t determine whether you succeed in your intended action. Instead, you describe the whole action beforehand, including its result. The dice inform the consequences of your action. A “fortune at the very end” kind of roll, perhaps?

At the other end of the spectrum, we have “fortune at the beginning,” which is usually described as rolling right after a declaration of intent and approach, using the dice result to inform what and how it happens. But… can’t we go even further back? What if we rolled before we decided what to do?

Fortune at point zero

That example at the beginning—the player enthusiastically reaching for the dice and rolling even before clarifying their intention—always stuck with me. What if we didn’t try to stop it, but instead leaned into it as the intended behavior?

For that to work, I figured that the system would have to follow these criteria:

All rolls in the game should be the same.

A roll is expected to be made at every turn.

There should be meaningful choices after the roll is made.

I finally managed to pull it off in my latest release, Load the Simulation. Let me show you how I followed these criteria and why I believe it works.

At the top of your turn, before you even think about your action, you grab 3d6 and roll them. It’s always 3d6, and there are no modifiers. If you had attributes, skills or actions that indicated different modifiers (like d20 systems), dice pools (as in Blades in the Dark), dice sizes (as in Savage Worlds), or dice pools and sizes (like in Cortex Prime), that wouldn’t work. You’d at least need to declare your approach before rolling. I didn’t want that, so all rolls are the same (meeting the first criterion).

These rolls happen during the training exercise—your character is on a centuries-long mission to prepare exoplanets for colonization, and you’re going through training simulations (think The Matrix, X-Men or Star Trek). Since every turn represents an attempt to progress toward your mission objective, a roll is always required (meeting the second criterion). In a more open-ended scenario, that assumption wouldn’t necessarily apply.

Each die represents something different:

• The YOU die – Your character’s effort.

• The FOE die – The opposition.

• The ECO die – The environment.

You roll them together and arrange the results in a vertical line on the table, from highest to lowest— the Stack. The die with the highest roll determines the dominant force in the scene. If the YOU die is not the highest, you’ll take Conditions. You have to choose whether to affect:

Your body (Harm) – Bruises, burns, or worse.

Your mind (Stress) – The slow wear of fear and pressure.

Your relationships (Friction) – Putting crewmates in danger, failing to have their back, or blaming them for your mistakes.

You can also choose to break one of your modules to avoid a condition, or use them in the scene to break a tie. So there’s this short mini-game you play after you roll to determine the mechanical implications of your roll (the third criterion).

With all the mechanical bits resolved, you’re left with a scene to paint. The roll generated a lot of input, and you can create a rich narrative that won’t later be contradicted by a dice roll.

Say the ECO die is higher, and you marked Friction. How does the environment take central stage, and how does that affect your bonds with your crewmates? Perhaps a tremor opens a giant crack in the ground, you grab your friend by the arm to keep balance, but end up sending them tumbling down near the edge of the cliff. That is… so much fun!

You get to look at the dice as a fortune-teller reading runes, and extract juicy, colorful fiction from the results. You decide if you’re in a more active position, taking the lead and making progress, or in a more reactive one, trying to resist this alien world that is trying to crush you.

See, it is not that you are abdicating control over what your character does by rolling before deciding. You still have total freedom of choice, but you’re informed of the outcome beforehand, so you get to frame that snippet of a scene, including actions and reactions, in a vivid way that incorporates everything you accomplished and everything you suffered in the process. And I think that’s neat.

There’s more nuance to it (each combination of dice position has different mechanical ramifications), but that’s the gist of it. I’m certainly not the first person to think of the roll first, think later approach to resolution mechanics, but I am really excited about how I managed to implement it in Load the Simulation.

If you want to learn more about this game of high-octane training simulations and intense interpersonal conflict, the crowdfunding campaing started yesterday and I'd love your support.

#indie ttrpg #ttrpg design #crowdfunding #game design #zine month #zinequest

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 days ago

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s6 episode 10 thoughts

hmm… scully seems to be black and white in the image for this episode. maybe she has had this power to turn greyscale the whole time and she has simply never chosen to wield it until now. how fascinating of her!

ah, i see that the one after this is likely a two-parter, based on titles alone. so i had better focus now before things get crazy.

the description here emphasizes that scully will be the one pursuing this photographer!! i hope that bodes well for our girl!! i need lots of scully time!! or else terrible things happen to me!!

post-episode thoughts: we need to release the cut of this episode where mulder and scully team up to destroy this ritter fellow. i know mulder had to physically restrain himself from choking that dude out. frankly, he usually has FAR less self-control, so this was a big step for him.

but first and foremost, this was a scully episode. and there is so much i want to say. about living!! and dying!! and loving!! and what scully wants for herself!!! and i am sad, but i am pondering!!! and i want her to be happy!!! and in the process of editing my notes, i got myself so worked up over the whole thing that i simply cannot articulate anything!!!! which is such a shame, because if i had words, i would use them!!! at length!!

we open in new york city, where a woman gets help pushing a shopping cart out of an elevator to deliver some mail. mail time!!! wait. who is behind her?

get away from her. she is working. STOP FOLLOWING HER. I’M SERIOUS. now the elevator is taking too long to come get her…. and the creepy guy gets in. GET OUT OF THERE. YOU’RE MAKING ME ANGRY.

why can creepy man see everyone in black and white? until he steps out of the elevator, and all of the color returns.

oh shoot. he gets out and then the elevator starts breaking. so he takes the STAIRS. and it falls!!!!

he’s taking a picture of the collapsed elevator?? with the bodies in it???

now who does that help….?

why is he documenting it… is he working for OSHA or something…..?

shortened intro, you will not sneak your tricks past me.

someone else is doing a background check here at the FBI!! are scully and mulder free?? well, they’re stuck on the same floor, so probably not. mulder is on the phone and fiddling with his pen.

no; they, too, are sadly stuck performing background checks. this is so sad!!! she can save lives!!!! and they use her for this!!!

she asks if mulder is ready to quit and he says “no. that would make way too many people way too happy” <- LMAO well, that is entirely understandable

ohhh, she gets a strange call and is on the move. she was asked to go to kersh’s office!! this cannot be good!! he hates her!! and she was the only one called!

OOO, WE SEE HER FILE. she’s 5 foot 2!!! i didn’t know that!!! but i figured she was somewhere in that area. and she lives in annapolis, maryland. like learning that mulder lives in alexandria, i do not know enough about geography to know what that means.

seems she was brought on in 1990 as an instructor of forensic pathology, and she was recruited right from the university of maryland. i did know this. but not the years during which it happened.

ARGH, i wish this screen wasn’t so dark so i could SEE. it says something about physics. BA in physics?? ARGH! this is so frustrating. mulder had described her thesis as her “graduate thesis”, so maybe she did physics undergrad, physics grad school, then med school, then FBI.

well. it’s not focusing other than that, so i can’t make any conclusions unless kersh announces what he sees inside. because he is the one reading her file.

some agent named ritter is here from new york. who are you, man? he found an old crime scene photo of a woman who passed away from an overdose. but the clock in the photo is 45 minutes earlier than her listed time of death. scully points out that a clock can be wrong. why is this ritter man, like, quizzing her?

hmm!!! from the newspaper, the other photograph of the body shows a totally different time, an hour and a half later!!! that is very weird. from the same photographer, too. i’m guessing he wasn’t just hanging there for 2 hours and spacing out his picture taking.

alfred fellig is the photographer. ritter thinks that maybe he poisoned the woman and photographed her for personal pleasure, then came back later to do his job for the police and photographed her AGAIN. and while scully says that is “quite a theory”, there are 3 other photos of fellig's that show very different times according to different negatives.

she says there’s no consistent MO, and he says there is no consistent anything. and he wants her help. kersh asks him to leave. what is afoot here….

“i would say he has a promising career ahead of him. so did you… at one time” <- OH MY GOD???

(furious scully face)

“AGENT MULDER and i will begin immediately” <- OH!!! she stood right up for him!!! what a good friend!!

but kersh says he is a lost cause. and that he hopes she isn't as well.

so now she has to go to new york city with this RANDOM GUY. oh, i’m pissed off FOR HER!! kersh must be trying to separate them….

fellig is getting off a bus and watching some guy have what appears to be a heart attack. heart attack (or coughing fit? chest pain?) guy is in black and white!!

he goes somewhere and gets some mail, patting his head with a cloth while fellig watches out the window. and he grabs his arm!! and falls!!!! AND FELLIG COMES CLOSER TO WATCH????

he pulls out his camera and takes a bunch of pictures of the dying guy, who he sees in black and white. very weird.

mulder is looking through a bunch of photos on his computer. ohhh, it looks like he found the pictures from fellig. “mulder. what are you doing?” “being nosy. eating my heart out. they’re sending you on an x file” <- OHHH, HE LOOKS SO SAD AND LEFT OUT :(

“it’s not an x file” “that’s not what i’m reading”

“i’m thinking murder by telekinesis. i’m thinking maybe a shamanistic death touch. i’m thinking about the muslim superstition that to photograph someone is to steal their soul” <- OHHH, LET HIM ON THE CASE :(

fascinating look into how he starts gathering leads based on the little information he knows about the case and his wealth of memorized strange facts....

he thinks they’re splitting them up!!!! and he’s so sad!!! oh!! she tries to tell him it’s a one-time thing, but he isn’t buying it.

she bites her lip, closes his tabs as agent ritter walks in, and introduces them. he very visibly wants to beat the guy with a hammer. and makes a point of calling him by his first name.

jump to new york city. ritter and scully are asking some cops about fellig. he has yearly renewals for his job a very long time, and he’s been doing it since 1964!!! he doesn’t seem to have aged.

OH! this ritter guy seems fine enough, but he called her "dana", and that made me flinch. he doesn’t seem to think it’s that weird fellig hasn’t aged at all.

meanwhile, some other dude is being chased and calling for help. whoever is chasing him pulls out a knife and kills him!!! and fellig is there to take pictures of the scene!!

but the murderer finds fellig and starts stabbing him…… he steals fellig’s camera as the blood pours everywhere. but fellig gets up!!! and pulls the knife out of his own back!!! ack!!!!

the blood from his body is red and didn’t cause any gassing, so i don’t think he’s one of the shape-shifting aliens, but maybe he’s some sort of vampire or vampire-like creature?? maybe he sucks energies from the photos of dying people he takes??

ritter and scully find the knife with fellig’s prints on them.

“what’s this?” “a whole lotta blood” “yeah, i got that” <- LMAOOOOO, do not separate her from her bonded pair or she will be mad. scully clearly does not think there is a second victim because there is no second body.

ritter says it is “january 4th”. so does this take place BEFORE rain king, somehow? or did we jump ahead a year? you know what? i’m gonna try not to think about it.

that seems like a weird detail to include for it to just prove the timeline wrong.

(i'm still annoyed about this 24 hours later btw)

they’re interviewing fellig. scully watches from the corner. he says he saw someone stealing a kid’s shoes and tried to run him off. he claims he touched the knife after the murderer left.

OHHH, she picks up on the fact that he is in pain and is closing in on him like a shark smelling blood. yeahhhh, noir detective. ritter seems fascinated by this but like, come on, we all are. he’s not special.

fellig confesses to being cut. and she helps take off his shirt to see the gashes. ritter says to get his blood drawn and take pictures.

“hey, i’m confused. i thought we were trying to bust this guy, not look for reasons to let him go” “i thought we were looking for the truth” <-YEAH, YOU TELL HIM 🔥

he gets pissed and leaves

AWWWWW, MULDER CALLS HER AND SAYS IN A STUPID VOICE THAT THEY USED TO SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER AT THE FBI :,) AWWWW, LOOK AT HER TIRED SMILE!!!

WAIT, WHY DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE STABBING, LMAO????? “i told you, i’m nosy” <- WHAT DOES HE KNOW??

they found another murderer’s prints on the knife and fellig’s blood all over the place… yeah. so fellig probably isn’t killing these people outright.

DID HE HACK INTO THE NYPD DATABASE SOMEHOW?? LMAOOOOO???

NO, HE GOT THE FILES FROM KERSH SOMEHOW, AND HE SEES THAT FELLIG HAS A HEALING FACTOR. LMAOOOO, oh he is gonna get in TROUBLE!!

but he says kersh has (mostly) nice things to say about her. which is kind of him to add.

he whines his way into doing a background check on the murderer, saying it’s what he does now. and you can tell she wants to say no, but also knows that saying no to him won’t do a damn thing, lmao.

why does he have access to kersh’s files….?

scully is joining ritter in a car at 1 am. seems he’s doing a stakeout on fellig. ritter tells her to have a LOVELY evening in a way that seems like he really hates her. man. i thought he was kinda chill at the start of this episode. except for the way he was quizzing her. and ignoring fellig not aging. maybe he was a jerk all along and i simply tried to be kind.

time for scully to flip through some more murder photos. OH NO!! she hears the camera clicking in the distance… and ritter just walked away!!! IS HE GONNA BE DEAD???

she knocks on fellig’s door and says “explain this” LMAO, get those answers!! how did he take a photo of a murder an hour before the police arrived?!

she says he needs to explain himself or he will not know a moment’s peace. and trust that she means it.

fellig says to take a ride with her, which has me scared. and then he drives her around for an hour!!! he says he is looking for the shot.

he finds a woman on the street corner, saying she’s about to die, could be a minute, could be an hour. scully grabs her gun, thinking he’s going to do something nefarious. he says the way they die is always a surprise- he just always knows when.

“you want me to believe that?”, she asks

but then a man comes toward the woman on the side of the road, and they start fighting. scully gets out of the car! and she grabs the dude!!! he is under arrest!!! i fear she may only fulfill the prophecy somehow…

she takes a gun off of him, and when he claims it isn’t his and calls her “red”, she slaps him on the face, omfg…. just a little slap…. but it was enough

BUT NO!!! when scully goes to ask the lady on the side of the road if she’s okay, the mystery woman gets hit by a truck!!!

OMG????? and fellig comes in to get the shot…

ritter is mad as HELL with scully when she rolls up with this random dude under arrest. she is also very mad at him!!! she does not need his permission to do her job!!! but he says he has something to show her.

the murderer who killed that kid over the shoes claims that fellig did it. and scully accuses RITTER of making the STORY UP, OHHHH!!!

“fellig is a murderer. whether or not he did this specific one, i don‘t care-“ WELL, YOU SHOULD???

omfg… is this some sort of moral test for scully? is kersh torturing her like this is the good place? he says he knows the judge and he’ll get the warrant

OHHHH!!! “you know, kersh warned me about you.” “uh, he did?” “yeah, you and your partner. god knows his reputation precedes him, so i guess i should have seen this coming. you muck up my case, and kersh will hear about it. are we clear, dana?” “scully.”

WHEW!!!! THE WAY SHE SAID HER NAME ALL CLEAR AND QUIET GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS

you tell that pathetic rat.

“and we’re done with this conversation” YES MA’AM 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

wow. still playing this on loop in my brain, 24 hours later. the implications... the defining of herself... the resistance... yeah.

phone call time!! it’s mulder!!! she admits that it is an x file, which prompts him to sound worried. “what happened?”

mulder says that fellig is 149! under the name henry strand, someone applied for a press license way back in the day, and henry’s prints match fellig’s!! and before henry, there is an L.H. rice who was born in 1849 and has the same fingerprints!!

how did he track the fingerprints down… get mulder out of this office and into a research lab, maybe!

“i’m not good at math, but i figure that’s a whole lot of candles on the cake”

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! he doesn’t think he’s good at math!!!

man, i haven’t gotten to do a lore reveal text format like that in a while. that felt nice.

scully finds fellig's age hard to believe, but mulder says she should find him before he vanishes again. she turns up at his apartment and looks so scary, LMAO.

but she warns him that he will be arrested in 2 hours and charged with murder. which makes her seem to be the the good guy here, and not as scary as her angry face would suggest.

fellig says he just takes the pictures, but she hits him with “what you showed me was a contemptible lack of compassion for another human being. you showed me that you profit off of people’s deaths” <- OHHHH, GET HIM!! that strong moral code kicks in again!

“now, why shouldn’t you go to prison?” <- oooo, she’s playing hardball. but he says they’re lucky!!! and he doesn’t take them, “he” does. girl, who the hell is "he"?

fellig must be jealous that these other people can die…

scully follows him into his darkroom. i feel such fondness for her as she moves the curtain.

he points to someone in the photograph and says “he’s the one who takes them” BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

it’s a glimpse of death itself. he’s trying to photograph death!!!

“mr. fellig, i know you know more about photography than i do, but this is just a lens flare” “you’re right, i do know more about photography than you” <- LMAO, okay, that did make me laugh.

she asks him why take a picture of death, and he says he wants to look into his face so he can die. nothing will kill him. he's tried it all.

hey man, i’m unfortunately really distracted by the terrible feelings of tenderness that scully has sparked in me right at this very moment. yeah, idk. i don’t really want to focus on this guy right now. it’s very sad, genuinely, but look at her face.

he says he doesn’t want to be here, and he got left behind.

“you know, i don’t believe you” “yes you do. that’s why you’re here” <- OHHHH, he called her out…. the cracks in her disbeliever facade keep growing… is it that she doesn’t believe him, or that her greater commitment to needing to know the truth and therefore do the morally correct thing in handling this murder case brought her here?? can they be separated???

she flips through his photos, touching one of a young flapper. she asks how he knows when they’ll die, and he says he knows.

scully has to step outside. and she calls mulder, asking if louis brady (name on the flapper photo) was also one of fellig's names. he says no, but there is a big gap before 1939, so it could be.

but somehow, fellig disappeared!!! just kidding, he’s back. he wanted to get his film. i thought he vanished for a few seconds there.

mulder is in the FBI archives at 9:30 am. ahhh, i wish i could go there. and he finds fellig’s photo!! it shows him wanted under the name louis brady for double murder!!!

mulder calls ritter when he learns of this news, because he cannot get ahold of her. he tells him about how fellig killed two patients and walked away!!! he tells him to find agent scully NOW. and ritter, of course, is shocked that this murder happened like 80 years ago, but whatever. you better go check on her, ritter.

meanwhile, scully is still with fellig. she asks “how can you have too much life? there’s too much to learn, to experience” and this hits hard because she, of course, was very recently dying.

(moaning in pain as i think about scully wanting to experience and learn everything there is this world has to offer.......)

he says you start to wonder what everyone else gets to know

OH, SHE ASKS ABOUT LOVE??? he wanted to look up his wife 40 years ago. and he couldn’t remember her name.

(scully, you damn romantic...)

“love lasts 75 years, if you’re lucky. and you don’t want to be around when it’s gone” <- oh stop… you’re going to make her cry…

but, is he actually going to try and kill her…..?

WAIT! she turned black and white… and tells her to count her blessings.

IS HE GOING TO KILL HER BECAUSE HE WANTS TO HELP HER???

(author's note: no)

she wants to know how to prove his thing- that he can live forever, and that he can sense when people are going to die before they do. fellig says someone took his place. he had yellow fever. and he’s getting his camera around…

he saw death back when he was sick. and he saw him dancing around the room, taking people. but death didn’t take him.

a nurse sat with him, and when death came, he looked away. she looked at him instead. and the fever broke, and she was the one that died.

he tells her she’s very lucky. she gets in his face and insists she is NOT going to die. she tells him to turn it off. he took her phone!!!

he says death is coming and he needs to make her peace….

but it’s ritter!!!! he fires his gun at fellig!!!

SHE COLLAPSES???? WHY IS SHE BLEEDING??????? there is blood coming from her throat???? did ritter miss and shoot her instead???

fellig tries to take a photo of her with his other camera, and asks if she sees "him". he says don’t look, close your eyes. and he holds her hand in his. AND HE LOOKS INTO DEATH INSTEAD. and he gasps softly…. oh my god…. he finally dies.

scully is in bed in the hospital a week later. mulder is waiting, telling ritter he’s a lucky man. which is better than i expected.

OH, he grabs her hand. and he sits on her bed. and he smiles, saying her doctor says she is making an amazing recovery. but she seems so sad, and in so much pain

he says “death only looks for you once you seek its opposite” <- OHHHH my god…

and we fade to black.

so i rewatched the scene where scully gets hurt because at first i couldn't tell what was happening, and this DUMBASS ritter shot fellig, and the bullet went STRAIGHT THROUGH HIM and INTO SCULLY???? like. what the HELL WAS HE THINKING????

holy fuck, if i were mulder i would have done a lot more than tell him he was a lucky guy. look at her enduring ritter's presence while she’s in her hospital bed and he was such an awful person the whole time they worked together. i would have told him to fuck off and let me recover from the bullet YOU put in me in peace.

and mulder grabbing her hand. and the flowers in her room. and his smile at her news. but she’s so sad. people don’t live forever.

she wants to live, and she wants to have a life, and holy HELL need to lay down.

oh my god… this episode was super dark. and usually i don’t really like the dark ones. but it has scully, so i liked it better. because we got to contemplate her worldview.

and she wants to LIVE. she wants a LIFE. she wants LOVE. the way she got in fellig’s face and REFUSED to let him take her picture… the way she tried to understand how he could be jealous of death, because she always wants to understand and to learn and empathize… the way she helped fellig, and fellig helped her by telling her to look away from death, so he could look instead… oh my god.

we need to do something about this ritter guy. hopefully, he will simply be fired. you can’t go around shooting your own agents. OH! and the way he didn’t care about justice at all- how he got the warrant because he knew the judge, and he told scully that if she got in his way he’d go to kersh… and how she told him her name is SCULLY and this conversation is OVER…

oh!!!

and mulder helping over the phone; mulder using her sleuthing skills to find out that fellig WAS a murderer and she WAS in danger, and he called ritter immediately and said you had BEST find her. and i can only imagine how he went to bed that night thinking of all the ways he wanted to kill ritter. how he sat by his phone for her. bouncing his basketball until the hospital sent him word of her recovery.

now, i’m still puzzled as to why he has access to kersh’s files. perhaps this is some sort of clue. but to what? i cannot say.

i just love scully SO MUCH. she saw that the woman on the side of the road was going to die, and she stepped right in and did everything she could, even if it was ultimately doomed. she couldn’t sit back. and she wants a life. she’s in love and she wants a life and she wants a house and a dog. and to save people. and to do work that is satisfying. and all of these things she has been denied.

(screams into my hands)

she’s been slowly starting to believe- maybe not in the traditional sense, but in the sense that she recognizes something she cannot understand is afoot, and she finds herself curious about how and why. i found it very interesting that fellig called her out for this and gibson did as well. and we know that gibson can read minds, so we know it to be true. i don’t think “believes” in the same use of the word that mulder does, but she is finding it harder to compartmentalize, maybe. and can you blame her? i mean, she is miss "there HAS to be a scientific explanation for this". belief not in the supernatural sense, but in the sense that there is so much more to learn and understand and experience. be it love and life or the guy who lives forever and can somehow sense death. maybe the spiritual and the scientific aren't that separate.

god. this really was a scully episode, and i am so grateful. i deserved this. even though it wasn’t one where she laughs and enjoys the gift of being alive, we still got to dive into her thoughts and emotional state. AND we got bonus angsty mulder- angst about them being separated, and angst about nearly losing her. is this not the ultimate kind of mulder angst?

i shall go to bed a bit sad this evening, but content.

as i edit my notes to make them readable the day after watching this, there is still so much on my mind. in the sense that i want to write a thinkpiece on what this means for scully's character. maybe this will be a turning point, when she once again confronts her own mortality. how easily death can come. maybe she'll tell him how she feels because she realizes that now is all she has. maybe she'll confront kersh and tell him to get them off of their nonsense assignment so she can go back to saving people. maybe she'll think about all of the times she felt so certain that she was going to die in the past and once again try and make a meaning for why she didn't.

i am also thinking about how sad mulder was when kersh separated them and then how horrible he must have felt when he heard that she was SHOT in his absence. and there was nothing that he could do for a week while he could only wait to hear if she was okay. and then he drove up there as soon as he could. and he KNEW that it was ritter's fault she was lying in that bed fighting for her life, but he somehow managed to say only how lucky he was instead of slamming his head through the drywall. and how he held her hand, smiling, so happy to see her, taking his spot on her bed, thinking of how he loves her and how many times her has nearly lost her. and her thinking the same thing. and neither of them saying anything. just touching.

the feelings i am experiencing are large and difficult to put into words, which is frustrating because, like AUGH! (gestures wildly) do you get what i mean?! do you SEE what i am saying?!?! (grabs your shoulders and shakes them vigorously)

please share your thoughts with me, especially if you are a scully girl like myself. to me, this felt sort of like scully's version of paper hearts, in a way. at least, i see some parallels. even if i cannot elaborate at this time because my brain is flopping.

#hate when i feel the Cosmic Emotions and putting them into words is not going to happen #like GIRL. JUST. UGH. LOOK. AT THEM. and him and her. and what they say and what they don't and how they touch.#i need to revisit this someday when my brain is capable of articulation but i'm feeling ill today and apparently that means it won't happen #maybe i ought to sleep on it and the words will come eventually... but no promises #man... man hold on............#juni's x files liveblog #6x10 #the x files #txf

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