#but tossing it in the mix anyway
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But I My Bond Must Keep
Re-upping this once more while @silmsmutweek is still going:
“It ties well, I see.” Balan anchored the standing end to a sconce on the wall, then stepped back to admire his handiwork with a grin. “We’ll set that as a mark in its favor.” “Traitor!” Nóm was laughing despite the look of comic betrayal and he tugged futilely against the knots. “Set me loose.” “Nay, art thou not bound to thy work till it’s done? Far be it from me to draw thee from it ere the flax is tested.”
When the weight of duty threatens to crush him, Balan is ever his comfort.
#finrod#bëor#smut#fluff#foreshadowing#angst#my dearly beloved guys#silmsmutweek2024#silmarillion fanfic#doesn't really go with a specific day#but tossing it in the mix anyway
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The Miller brothers getting shit done-
Bonus two of adorable Benny because I can't help myself:
#an ode to the miller boys!#because how can you not love them!#and their relationship is so fascinating to me#I just want to analyze the hell out of it and theorize until I'm blue in the face#it feels complicated!#and the looks benny gives william sometimes!#this mix of admiration & a need for approval but also a hint of fuck you very much tossed in#anyway I just need a backstory damn it!#i bet even benny's hat has a story behind it!#garrett hedlund#charlie hunnam#triple frontier#benny miller#william miller#how is his little poncho so cute
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absolute travesty that there are NO royalty-au spirk fics centered around the overwhelming amounts of devotion and loyalty between the two. WHERE are my fics with Spock on his knees pledging fealty to King James Kirk????
they're all about princes falling in love and arraigned marriages and political intrigue and YES that's GREAT and i do love them, but what if i want kings???
I need a fic about the bond between a king and his loyal advisor-slash-nobleman which has been slowly developing for DECADES before anyone involved gets their shit together, or a fic where Spock has practically taken on the role of King Consort before either of them notice simply because Kirk trusts him so much, or a fic where it slowly becomes apparent that King Kirk's loyalty is first to his kingdom, yes, but second to Spock alone, and he will go to war for him.
I need crazy stupid devotion, that's what I need!!!!
#anyways if you want recs for royalty aus with princes i'll recommend#To Be Wed by ThereBeWhalesHere#The Royal We by indeedcaptain#and#Strange Wings by Herenya_writes#i just feel like the whole spirk dynamic lines up SUPER WELL with the king-and-advisor type dynamic#spock would be saying things like “You are my king. I am loyal to you alone.” and then diving in front of assassins for him#which kirk would hate because HE wants to dive in front of assassins for SPOCK#“it's my turn to be self-sacrificial for you! why? because i said so. i'm the king.”#spock would also constantly be calling kirk “sire” or “my lord”#anyways spock getting injured stopping an assassin followed by kirk going absolutely scorched earth on whoever DARED hurt his favorite#people would try to imply that spock wasn't fully loyal to kirk (bc he's vulcan) and kirk would be like “get out of my sight”#and of course all of this also works with mcspirk. toss the court physician into the mix#but the king + special advisor is just one hell of a dynamic so that's what the post is focusing on lmao#spock & bones (& the rest of the crew too) being under kirk's absolute protection.#everyone in the palace would know that hurting or being rude to any of them would earn you Instant consequences#tos#star trek tos#spirk#james t kirk#spock
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oh em gee im a ravens fan 😞💔. i also adore lamar …would love to hear your thoughts on lamar/derrick and/or lamar/kyle 🤗🤗
ALSJDJSJ HELLOOO 😭😭 first of all sorrows sorrows prayers 💔 and like. slight apologies did my sudden rooting for the ravens bc the lions booked it (sorrows sorrows prayers also 😔….apologies did my sudden rooting for the lions—😭) bring you shit luck like. how the fuck... BUT ANYWAYS BRINGING JOYYYY with some rpf talk akhdskjs wow brought this upon myself i dont really like know much abt the ravens ship wise argrhgrh like i don’t think anybody has asked me any ship outside of the bengals?? outside of joemarr really 😭 like no one has even asked me abt jjkoc whom i adore and bring up constantly even on asks abt joemarr?? 😭 (EDIT: THANK YOU CASEY AND CHRISNOELIE WHO HAVE LITERALLY JUST SENT ASKS 😭😭❤️) that’s such a shame (to be fair i dont really. know that many ships or show. that i like ship that many either lmao) 😔 OH WELL OKAY USING THIS LIKE. FOR MY PORTFOLIO what fucking portfolioaksjsksksk yapped abt any ship of my own volition am actually sweating a bit at this bc like. i dont actually?? know them??? so this is mostly like from Vibes ive seen from clips of them floating around here and twt and ig that have spurred the Fire in me to just. See Shit. do you get me.
bengals mutuals who are sensitive abt ravens pls look away 🫶 and like don’t block me aksjsksk let me rpf in peace i beg 😭 i just see pretty men with chemistry and i want to see them kiss 😔
AUGH prefacing this with like. the only thing ive actually written shippy wise abt the ravens is that one lamar/ja’marr thing im actually so fucking fond offfff in that shippy rpf list thing i did way back oh that led that one ask i got damn wait i actually have gotten an ask outside of joemarr like that frock and also on lamar/ja’marr!!!!! god i should do that thing again akhdksjs ANYWAYS SORRY MOVING ON (wait no. lamar/ja’marr. still so enamored. sorry. it’s the ja’marr truther in me i fear.)
disclaimer my characterization (???? for rpf?????) of them may be skewed???? because like. i haven’t been as deep into their lore as i am with joemarr and the bengals. and like their history isn’t as deeply documented here as joemarrs is lol. i follow. 2 people tops including you who are ravens fans. several others with running back adoration shining through too so. like. keep that in mind 😭
DERRICK LAMAR HERE WE GOOOOO FUCKKKKK do you know. how fucking enamored i am. that derrick has been so fucking steadfast in his defense of lamar as a quarterback. he’s so. all his tweets. all his quotes. oh my godddd. he’s soooooo. he came to fucking ravens because lamar is the fucking quarterback???? all those clapbacks he did saying lamar is his qb????? i don’t actually recall all his tweets sorry are they tweets wow but like. all i remember are just. vibes. and those vibes are just. him basically saying. fuck you i know what im all about and that’s lamar fucking jackson keep his name out of your mouth. thats hot as shitttttt are you kidding me 😭😭 and he’s gorgeous. fucking beautiful. he’s fucking huge and downright shameless about it. he wears his tops like they’re a suggestion rather than a necessity. i think he’d rather wear crop tops on the daily actually. we should start petitioning nfl uni changes to like. crop tops. see through pads too. he’d be overjoyed, i think. i’d be overjoyed. also.
and lamar’s like. murder in his mind but also fucking hilarious this man in the playoffs talking abt how he’s here to compete not be friends with other qbs or something like that idk i forgot whatever it is he said that one presser abt josh? (?) but just like. one track minded (understandable btw something to prove being mvp however many times and yet. always falling short in the playoffs. just. yikes. for him. god. i feel so terrible for him 😬) but also. the entire beyonce thing 😭 hilarious. the christmas thing where he kind of disappeared?? where the hell was he 😭 what was that hard knocks ep akdhsksk i forgot and like his presser clips that sometimes pop byyyy hes cute idc idc but like sorry if im jumping here and there here back to derrick a bit so i can lead back to lamar -> derricks super chill? or well. he’s sooooo sure of himself. hes 31. 8 years itl nothing rattles him. he knows what he wants. immovable. doesn’t quake that easy. but like stressing again: knows what he wants. pro bowl? sure. ravens because the quarterbacks lamar jackson? sure. like it doesn’t really take much to rattle him yk?? like as far as i can seeee auagahagh i don’t really see many clips of himmm though i did see him dance with zay i think?? cuteeeee whimsy showing up when urged with all these new guys he’s getting comfy with!!! and alsoooo ive seen him hype the ever living shittttt out of saquon!!! that’s some cute shit. signing into the ravens with some lowballed contract too i think?? says something abt him!! idk chill is a word id use abt him. his reaction to the probowl is still so fucking 😭 but again, knows what he wants. which: lamar. who, again: one track minded, gets incredibly shitty jokey jokes at the most random of times, mentions his mother cussing him out shamelessly, jokes about going out to see beyonce during halftime, cannot help himself mentioning a meme from a reporters name, etc etc and also. gives me the vibes of. not really catching anyone putting down any moves on him. because he thinks they’re just appreciating his quarterbacking. and derricks reallyyyyyyy good at that. hyping the everliving shittttt out of him. praising him on all platforms and straight to his face. from day one. coming into the ravens bc hes the qb. outright saying that so he knows exactly what to expect from derrick and what to do to level up to him. so like. super cute to think of derrick asking him out and lamar just. not clicking 😭 and lamar praising him right back toooooo 😭 all his shit being super technical while derricks just waiting. to be wooed back. because he’s thinking like. oh lamars pretty smart yk he knows what derrick wants and has been doing no way he doesn’t and he’s so fucking sure of himself no way lamar isn’t wanting him back but lamar isn’t fucking doing anythinggggg. he’s just. being a really good teammate. derrick hasn’t heard a single actual flirtatious thing that isn’t like. you’re really good at football that’s such a sexy run and he’s all that winona ryder confused math meme trying to think if that’s an actual pick up line but he’s seen lamar flirt in clubs to get better seats or better shelved drinks if the bartender doesnt recognize them damn it when the fuck is he getting the full experience. until it slowly dawns on him he doesn’t fucking realize that derrick has been outright fucking flirting with him. WHICH leads tooo a bit of lamar/kyle which is like only because of that one clip aksfaksl wait okay THIS IS A MESS UGH SORRY ->
lamar/kyle!!! i know not much about them tbh!!! just that kyle is fucking gorgeousssssssss and lamar is toooooo oh my god. oh my god that one clip. that one fucking clip. of kyle coming up to lamar. and back hugging him. wait let me fucking find it auagahsgsu IS THAT NOT THE CUTEST SHIT????? i am superrrrr into this dynamic of like. heavy devotion into your quarterback because of how fucking GOOD they are. like. tell me that entire fucking team isn’t the least bit besotted with lamar fucking jackson. (i have like. the slightest clue of the ravens roster tbh. sorry. i do the same shit with like. joe. all those boys. enamored with him. because he's so fucking good. argrhgrhh. see also: bryce lol) but that fucking clipppp the casual intimacyyyy the casual mindless way kyle trots to lamar talking to the coaches and slaps at his shoulder and decides to just latch on to him locking his wrists??? the hell is he doing??? CUTE. ARGHRGH. i didnt even know he moved this way btw 😭😭 and lamar's hands coming up to fumble distractedly at kyles wrists like did he even know. who that was. he didnt even really break a stride with his convo and no. 53 didnt even look at kyle weird?? do his guys usually just latch on to him like this. that's so cute the hell. i need to know more. do they do this often. hello. talk to me do they just latch on to him this often hello. hello. how many of his guys just have like. puppy crush on him. because this is what this is to me lmao like. a little hero worship. lamars ass doesn't see what this is 😭 he's fucking oblivious. (god you gotta tell me if I'm like reaching or off my fucking rockers or however the saying goes btw like again i got this out of Vibes) -> AND BACK TO DERRICK WHO SEES THIS ->
a little derrick seeing this from the corner of his eye. a little nudge to lamars belly. a little smirk. a little 'what he likes you?' 'what' 'what' 'what do you mean what' 'oh i see you’re a little dumb on things like this thats okay' 'on things like what what do you mean' 'its fine hey were still on this friday right' 'what yeah that fancy place on so so street right why is it so important that i wear a black tie anyway' 'because its supposed to be a date you dumbass god i really do have to spell it out for you' 'what' 'what what' '….what' AUAGHAHDHS CUTE CUTE no really you gotta tell me is my characterization right 😭 like. is it. help me. derrick seems so fucking sure of himself and like so fucking into lamar and lamar is like right back at derrick but!! well i guess for narratives sake im making it seem like lamars fucking oblivious lmaooo so. well.
hence -> yes next friday is a romantic formal dinner date lamar jackson. yes i am asking you out for an actual dinner date. as a romantic partner. that might end the night in making out. and sex, even, if you put out on, like, the sixth date if you actually realize that that's the sixth date—yes, that will be the sixth date, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. no, i won’t slow down, don’t run away. no yes of course you've never run away from something once in your life. yes, we can kiss now, c'mere.
and do not. get me started. on all of lamar’s fucking reaction. to derrick’s running. and also i think i saw an interview clip of derrick calling lamar L………did i hallucinate that...............also the locker room pics 😭😭 girl derrick pull down your fucking jersey oh my godddd why is he like this why are there so many fucking pics of them just side by side or like shaking?? hands??? idk just in the presence of each other and is it the mandela effect why do i keep recalling him with his tummy out. (vs demure ass lamar covered head to toe idk i feel like i constantly see him in full gear?? is he like easily cold or like is that a stylistic choice or like. is that the norm with him or. like. am i just used to him wearing a shiesty during winter.)
apologies if this is like. more of a mess than my usual answer to asks 😔 whole other ship more unknown to me and like. typed this in my phone instead of on my laptop. answered in between classes which is where i am at life now apparently damn it is that the status quo now fuckjddkjsksksks
also shot myself in the foooottttt lmaoooo complaining abt not getting any jjkoc asks 😭 thank you for sending me asks i am ECSTATICCCCCC to be answering those but damn. when the fuck am i finishing this class 😃 SORRY FOR CONSTANTLY COMPLAINING ABOUT IT BTW SOMEWHERE EVERYWHERE IN THIS BLOG BUT LIKE. FUCK IS THIS SHITTTTT AUGHGUGHUGHUGHUGH abt to kms
#ask#ravens#derrick/lamar#do they have a ship name?#derrick henry#lamar jackson#kyle hamilton#lamar/kyle#like a bit really lol#my writing#ngl its an intimidating ass thing to mix your football team interests here LMAOOOOOO#have yall considered this: i just think men should fuck sometimes bc they’re pretty and i don’t really give a shit if they’re opps#like i know they’re divisional rivals guys but in an rpf standpoint they’re compelling to me 😔 even the chiefs…#fuck the chiefs though if you catch me rooting for the chiefs really FOR the chiefs kill me. no really. kill me. report my blog and kill me#oh wait no if you're a bengals fan and you also root for the chiefs power to you etc etc i do not give a single shit bb you do you#but like me personally about /myself/. id have to kill myself.#was rooting for the ravens bc the lions literally. well. anyways. back to the nfc 😭 jayden to the end...? saquon...?#still would root for the bengals if they’re against the ravens ofc btw but like. if you ask me would i like if they should switch the#coin toss with a little bodice ripping action instead just for fun. sure. why the fuck not.#no but really. next year. kings of the north. black and orange. 😡 who dey.#also humbly apologizing for all my other unanswered asks ive neglected over this one 😃#got surprisingly so excited to yap about a ship ive never yapped about?? wow#why are yall so mean abt lamar 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 like. he’s so????? i LIKE him???? he’s adorable?????????? genuinely…………#divisional rivals tho……..😔 watching him against the bengals god those two fucking games still so pissedndjsksjshdjskslask damn ittttttttt#for those two fucking games a season playoffs aside. we are not friends...................damn it. those two fuckingahdkgjlaiogjqoejweiojfa#still he's so cute to me guys truly do not come for me i adore him good bye BUT. will cuss him tf out when next reg season comes i fear 😭#that stiff arm against sam.....i am ducking my head DOWN and just. oh my god.#also. morbidly curious how many like. notes (?) id get out of this compared to my joemarr asks LMAOOO like. would the difference be drastic
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More notes for Roach conlanging. Roach has grammatical gender, in which only Male, Female, and Object are grammatical genders, whereas Worker uses feminine grammar, Queen and King use a slight variant on feminine grammar, and Drone, and Queen-Alate use masculine grammar. This is because King is derived from Queen, due to their similar positions in a colony, and Queen-Alate is derived from Drone, as both are forms of alate.
Queen is an alteration of feminine grammar that functionally just adds a handful of extra syllables to it, and King is an offsprout of Queen that uses the same grammar with different pronouns. Queen-Alate, despite the name, is derived from Drone, as they are both for referring to different types of alate ant.
Most Roach dialects are intelligible to speakers of Snakemouth Den Cordyceps Roach, but Snakemouth Den Cordyceps Roach is not entirely intelligable to speakers of Roach dialects due to a mix of the excessively specialized vocabulary caused by the specific needs of its speakers, the fact that its speakers do not necessarily have Roach mouthparts and thus may not pronounce syllables in a similar way, and due to the fact that Inanimate Object is a full grammatical gender that does not exist in any other dialect of roach and replaces a decent chunk of terminology for things that previously had Other Words For Them.
#we speak#conlang#bug fables#please excuse us if we're mangling the terminology here btw. we cannot for the life of us remember the proper terms for half of this#and every time we try to google things it winds up turning up nothing#probably because we're googling shit like “the term for the thing where self reference is different if youre a guy or a girl”#and like. “part of speech that you use to refer to other people that isnt pronouns or a name that has title associations”#if we reread some textbooks we will probably remember but unfortunately these are not our textbook reference posts#they are our “what if we told you about the cool ways that we did grammar in here” post#god we love grammatical grammar (<guy who doesn't have a strong enough sense of gender to remember der and die properly)#(because we are the specific type of speaker where we're half operating based on what Feels Right with the word and we are)#(so fucking bad at remembering how gendering words is meant to go)#(the secret reason we hate phonetics is because we have to contend with both figuring out how mouthparts would work and like)#(Working Out A Reasonable Collection Of Sounds To Have In Our Language. which means we have to actually like. name things)#(cruel and unusual that we have to make actual words rather than loosely tossing building blocks on the floor. honestly.)#anyways snakemouth den roach is one of those dialects where it's on the verge of becoming a language on its own#where it's very debatable on if it's Actually A New Language or just a very specific dialect of an old one because. well. boxes#picture it as like. trying to speak to someone who you Think is speaking french but they have an extremely thick regional accent#and they keep using like ten-syllable words that you probably don't know but that seem to refer to things that could be referred to#way more concisely?#and also rather than just le and la they have added an entire new lu to the mix and you are unclear if its the accent or a new word entirel#(note: we are not a specialist on french as we primarily know it in the “we've been around it long enough to vaguely know what's being said#way and are not currently caught up enough on whatever they have going on to know about any major grammar stuff going on over there)#(but we are terrible enough with remembering the grammar of the german that we do speak that we do not trust ourself to not be Worse there)
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Small test run of Infinity Nikki done! Mostly just finished the tutorial (and kicked Momo around), but it so far it seems pretty fun~
Also photo mode is so nice ♥
#there's some janky animations in those manual progress cutscenes#and after the crash cutscene i had some big lag#but that vanished after progressing the quest#tutorial was somewhat annoying (i hate those “and now click here” ones that refuse to let you do anything else before you finish them)#but didn't take that long#and yeah the photo mode is a godsent for someone used to gpose lol#so many games have pretty graphics but absolutely refuse to let you pose for pics#or god forbid edit colors or lights to make them look better#i can maybe see some of the same problems that shining nikki had#as in. 3d outfits refusing to play nice together when mixing outfits#as that was something i loved doing in love nikki#but so far i haven't got any “you can't use that piece with this outfit” that i remember getting A LOT during shining#anyway uhhhhhh#i should probably come up with a tag for these pics#for organizational purposes u know?#neri in miraland#that'll do#AH also if any mutuals/followers try the game feel free to toss your friend codes my way 👉👈#i've yet to see what the friend system even lets you do but still#infinity nikki#edit: oh right i forgot to clarify - if you walk into momo he kinda shuffles out of your way#and if you keep doing it multiple times he comments something about it lol#i got “okay okay i'll get out of the way!” and something about him need some protective gear lol
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" just...come here. just sit here with me" (...that one scene from princess momonoke, click for better resolution)
#tw death mentioned for the tag rambles!! (sorry)#meme redraw gone wrong (high effort). don't ask me how i did this- i don't know either. consider this perhaps an AU of the pyre scene?#or more accurately just my internal wonderings visualised. sometimes the vibes from the implications don't pan out the same way#i also lost the original sketch somewhere in my papers. alas. i vaguely recall thinking this would be haha funny and then somewhere down#the line it turned to angst. other quotes that inspired this from the show were 'ily. i'm sorry' and 'i will always be so proud of you'.#smth smth they met on the roof!! vincent stops quincy from jumping off and then. vincent tries to die + eventually quincy kills him on the#very same roof. anyway the quincent death scene was spinning around for a bit in my head and out of the miscellaneous sketches this won out#wanted to play w the strong blue lighting + bg + silhouette things that you get w stage lighting // replaced the knife w vincent's scalpel#quincy is kneeling bc poses + idk why it's fun staging for him ;-; // also the proximity + intimacy.. // the pyre is also in the bg#but it's silhouetted behind quincy. i think the last quincy post made me associate symbolism (help??) bc as i was painting i was thinking o#angel wings ksdjfh // not to mention the halos. halos are always fun to paint.. shiny stuff...#and from the last vincent art. i guess the star and eye imagery carried over. hm. tried to get the quincy halo to match so its like a#rounder less spiky star? which hehe aligns w the sun vibes (that i??can't explain??) but more importantly here i was thinking about#binary stars for the glowy parts. two in orbit in pull to one another.. tension.. ue. also the glow for vincent goes to stabby eye so like#behind the face shown to viewer. meanwhile for quincy it goes in front of the face#and of course u have the downward linking implied line from quincy's tears +scalpel + glowy eye.#this is supposed to be rotatable.. in landscape form u can have either quincy or vincent upright (pov) + it should work both ways#//bonus stuff is vincent holding the skask w bloody hands + shadow looks like blood spatters. like it would if quincy did the stabby.#hhhh this is the most. confused i have been making a piece lately.. just toss in a lot of fun visual stuff and mix..#if the rambling analysis here seems pointless and confused i think that's why. this is why u should plan out your essays o.O..#oh. stuff i just remembered: the whole impetus for vincent planning his own death was so quincy would be happy / it's already#mentioned before quincy kills vincent that he's severely injured- vincent says it's fine- ig u could intepret it as a finishing blow?#hastened over the phaethon announcement- when they make the second announcement quincy looks up smiling until the admin gives it to#beatrix-he didn't know.. // <- so for this it's possible to infer that vincent wasn't very attached to living anymore.. hence why they look#more accepting above. while quincy is looking very angsty and conflicted. yeah.. // tldr! don't look into it too deeply it's a meme redraw#adamandi#quincy cynthius martin#vincent aurelius lin#tw knife
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tangle is so fun because she is a juxtaposition of something collected and contained with something loose and free and in motion
she’s a rough brawler but she has a stance and a style. she’s impulsive and thrillseeking, but she wraps her arms in sports tape to protect them, a precaution. she longs for adventure and action but she will always need to come to rest at home with friends. she’s bouncy and restless, but she’s an intent listener and considerate. she’s got months of off-and-on experience fighting badniks, but is still so new to real Adventure.
and while there’s plenty of traits sonic and tangle share, you can’t reduce her to ‘girl sonic’ without neglecting something of her own characterization. she fundamentally wants something different out of life than sonic does, because she doesn’t need to be anchorless; she isn’t a backpacker, sleeping somewhere new every night. she’s more like a goose, or a frigate bird; flying free for ages and ages, knowing she wants to go somewhere, until time comes to call her back to her origin.
#random rambling at midnight oclock#i love love love contrasting characters who are very similar but have important subtle distinctions#like sonic is very self-determined. he knows what he wants#tangle is not yet. shes chasing adventure because she knows thats how she’ll *find* what she wants#she chases whisper because she knows whisper is better with a friend around. but also because whisper is a gateway to adventure#she’ll even bind herself with structure and expectations if it means coming back to whisper#^ sonic didnt want to join the restoration even for amy. tangle stayed because jewel needed her even if she hated it#or even just because itd help jewel. jewel didnt necessarily need tangle - especially if tangle had the free time to cause Incidents#shes like. selfless for partially selfish reasons. she wants adventure so bad & helping ppl is an adventure#she obviously still cares about people and wants to help too. but still#shes also this mix of. very competent and frightening in ability & strength. but also never really put on a level with most of the main cas#extremely durable tail that can punch metal out + lengthen to any size or reach (at high speed too!!) + hulk loki toss people#plus above average ability/acrobatics + some durability cause she fell a ways in the portal tower arc finding sonic/amy/tails#but also. still not applied as much as she could be + often disadvantaged against characters like surge/mimic/guns#but like. she also was fighting off zombots for some period of time while getting 0% more infected; creatively using chairs & stools#i feel like being true to *that* tangle necessitates her having some sort of plan against surge if/when they clash again.#she DOES strategize even if it’s on the fly. and she does have a pretty good sense of where her own body is/isn’t Marinette clumsy#anyways. au where i rewrite tangle’s recent appearances in line with her characterization for the first ~30 issues#forever anytime i see tangle being characterized as a sonic fangirl im like ‘she wouldnt do that.’#she would ADMIRE sonic absolutely!! she would not Fangirl. they are different. issue 4 she was so chill abt meeting sonic#ive been awake too long….. goodnight
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i'm for sure not finishing veilguard. i set it down a while and tried again and ahh i'm just not enjoying it. the characters dont have a depth im looking for.. the insertion of a writer's white guilt onto the elves that are based on real life indigenous people and have been in-games enslaved and treated horrifically and are the ones who don't have "real" gods that are actually just blighted tyrants. everything with taash and the qunari. the gameplay was fun for a while but then it made my hand so numb i couldnt do anything for a week. the last straw was taash's gender talk that suddenly turned into picking a cultural identity for them to align with out of nowhere and then soon after learning that Another antagonist is of course an elf. starting to feel like their implying that all elves become evil when given power jfc. i think i'm actually done with it it started making me feel gross and bored. i don't care if you enjoy it or not, everyone's got a different threshold it just crossed mine.
#i wish i'd told my brother to not get it for me but he was so excited to get me a gift. i would have rather pirated it#i wanted to be hopeful they'd have made more strides since dai since it had seemed to be getting better ish.#but the bioware team clearly don't think mulicultural people are 'true to themselves' or that arab people are well. People.#or that anyone could enjoy and align with the religion that is heavily modeled after islam. ofc it's just stifling and constraining right.#everyone who follows it is evil and awful and the fucking. blighted qunari turning into literal giant monsters when nobody else is affected#like that. what the Fuck.#how did it get More racist than dragon age 2.#anyway. long chatter short i think my final personal onion is that i do not like the game and i kind of wish it didnt exist. thumbs up#there's cool concepts in there but.. the racism got Worse. the established lore was tossed out the window. the music is forgettable.#the pacing is off. the therapy talk gets annoying after a while. my favorite things are: davrin and assan. davrin is so funny also his bo#also neve. i love neve i wish her story was more..... More. i like that she got upset at her city being destroyed even though she didnt#want to blame my character she couldnt help herself from blaming him. mixed feelings on how gender is incorporated. could be better but it'#good for a triple a game. wish they used the established in-universe terms for being trans but eh.#i wish the world wasn't so sanititized down. it feels like a desire for everything to be 'good' and perfect but it makes it feel hollow#and like a kind of immature unwillingness to tackle hard subjects but well. that's a running theme of the lead writer of this game lmao
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okay i give up i cant write this pjo fic percy loves sally too much
#which is good! love that he loves his mom i think that’s so realistic#maybe i just need to do a re-read but i dont ever remember him being angry/bitter about it which. i do not understand#like i don’t need to understand it i just need to be able to write it but like. okay.#in those situations there is a lot of manipulation involved from the mothers side esp when the men are introduced to the kids young#so that part was easy like gabe prob smacked percy and sally was like im sorry hon next time just try to be more careful ok#but i have no idea how this didn’t lead into him resenting sally as he got older#esp since i don’t think he knew gabe was hitting her too so it’s not like he was putting up w gabe to physically protect his mom#which would be another issue in itself bc he’s literally 12#anyway this is all being said to reiterate that i still do have so many sally jackson thoughts even though this fic crashed and burned#shoutout to sally jackson your efforts as an accomplice to your child’s abuse will forever be tossed around in my mind#also while i’m here talking about her i need to talk about that scene in the pjo show where she told him off#so many ppl were tryna “um actually 🥸☝️” the entire thing by saying book sally would do the same cos she’s fiery in canon#which is so true sally did stand up to gabe#and i have no doubt she would have told him off in the book to#o#but i also have no doubt that she would have gotten the shit beat out of her for it later#it’s a double edged sword people who get abused aren’t 100 percent meek or 100 percent strong willed all the time#its an ugly little mix of everything and depending on the day some of the traits present more strongly than the others#ok i’m done in a fr way now
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ok I know I'm already in the process of writing an extremely long video game retelling/au where the protag is a nonhuman who gets suddenly and unwillingly put in a situation where they have to pass as A Normal Guy by the threat of harm/death while also being put into a role where they're the Only One capable of saving the world. but what if I started a DIFFERENT one too
#howling#specifically I've been tossing around this bg3 scenario#where the dark urge and some random druid (specifically a circle of spores druid) are on the nautaloid when it gets attacked#the druid dies badly and the symbiotic entity they're carrying gets kicked out of their host#and so it attaches itself to the nearest living thing as like a self-preservation measure#which happens to be a VERY lobotomized dark urge#as in 'practically brain dead'#and so the entity is now stuck in a new body they have to figure out how to pilot COMPLETELY ALONE#other than the extremely unhelpful passenger already in this fucker's brain (the tadpole)#and still has the dark urge instincts and. well. urges. but they have even LESS access to memories than normal durge has#so it now has to both convince their friends AND their enemies that yes they definitely are a humanoid guy with a past#and not a cloud of sentient fungus puppeting a sort-of corpse#idk I just really love the idea of everyone being like 'wow it's so fucked up that we have parasites in our brains threatening to take over#and this guy is just like. oh hahah yeah (<- is a parasite who took over a guys brain)#anyways. id still be writing history offers preservation but id just ALSO be doing this too#like. idk maybe it'll help my writers block if I can mix shit up a bit#use scrapped ideas for one that might work better for the other y'know#this also isn't like. a guaranteed thing btw. I've just been rotating this concept in my brain for a bit now
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//I said I was going to talk about this so here.
Lambda can't really wildly teleport all over the place (although he sure can look like it), he has to have a place to teleport to. And even then, he has to clearly visualize the place he wants to teleport to in his mind. Anything he can deem as a landmark to use as a grounding point does help a lot. Or having a picture of the place and focusing on that. However, even with that, it can be a struggle for him to go place to place.
Doesn't stop him from being a very effective killer though.
Places may be a bit hard for him to remember but people are not. Especially if it's someone he's chasing down. And since it's thought based (for the most part) teleportation, all he needs to do is think of the person he's going after and he'll be back on their trail in no time.
#//this info has always been bookmarked in my mind as 'in universe reason to justify slashers' offscreen teleporting'#//but also kind of using that and the fear of thinking you got away only for the guy chasing you to be RIGHT. THERE.#//it's a bit more complicated than that but i'm still kind of tired and don't feel like doing that rn#//the building visualization thing also applies when he wants to tp to another dimension#//just with a bit of reality manipulation tossed into the mix for it#//will i pretty up/rewrite this post later? probably not#//posting it anyways#hidden depths: {info}#//yeah i'll toss it there
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hey! this is a long shot but seeing as i have some ppl following here, i wanted to ask if anyone at all has links to mental health resources that could be helpful for repulsed aroace ppl constantly struggling with feelings of alienation. or like, any mental health resources at all geared toward aroace ppl!! there is just. not that much out there for us and i don't have a place to start trying to make my brain less miserable. i would appreciate so much if anyone is familiar with stuff like this that they could share
#thanks for reading#ultimately im sad at the prospect of spending my entire life feeling outcast and miserable just bc of the way i am#especially when it used to be a part of myself that gave me confidence and joy#there are no aroace elders i can look to for help and guidance. or if there are - they are invisible. like i am#right now i'm in lie down & give up mode and i want to hope for something more someday#i don't want to be like everyone else. i just want to stop feeling like im a problem for being how i am#anyway i fully expect im just tossing this into the void so dont feel bad if you have nothing to contribute#all the aroace positivity blogs are just a mix of ace/arophobia discussion and other ppl saying they feel as sad as i do#which is not really helpful even tho those feelings are real and relatable#i dont have examples of how someone like me could live a happy life without removing themself 100% from society.#i want so badly to be a light for younger ppl who are like i am & to show them it's possible to live a happy life#but that is not possible at the moment
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Somehow one of my old high school notebooks ended up at goodwill and not only did someone buy it, but they found my phone number and texted me 😬😬😬 which is… not cool, but also they turned out to be nice, so whatever, I guess
#I got this and started kinda freaking out because I had no idea what was in it#and how do people keep finding my phone number???#damn I kinda hate this digital world#anyway I figured out that one of my trash bags got mixed in with my goodwill donations a couple of weeks back#and some goodwill worker actually looked through all the trash and thought ‘yeah someone will buy this old used notebook’#anyway they sent me a pic of a couple of pages and I’m prettttty sure it’s all just dumb highschool stuff for tv broadcasting#but they were nice and it made me feel nostalgic to briefly talk about it with someone so I can’t be too mad#I mean… I dunno#maybe it’s some bored teenager and they find this weird notebook and want to know more about it#not that there’s anything too wild in there#really I vaguely remember flipping through it before tossing it and I don’t remember anything eye catching#if it had anything I really thought was important I probably would have kept it#and it’s about 15 years old so I’m of the mind that it’s aged past my need to worry what’s in it#eventually you get old enough that the stuff you did in your teens feels like someone else’s bullshit#like… 15 years on I’m barely the same person#whatever is embarrassing in there is embarrassing for teen Ian not current Ian#but wow… I really hope they didn’t pay for that#or that they at least got a few laughs out of it#that would actually make up for finding my number#if someone else can even briefly enjoy some of my old dumb stuff then that’s pretty cool#but also… how’d they get my fucking number!?#bleghhhh#for a second I hoped it was one of my old poetry books.#I would love to get one of those back#I used to have so many notebooks of my poetry#but ya know dumb teen-to-twenties Ian had to get all moody and trash them#well… that’s life I guess#ok anyway sorry to bother you#mine#text
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dont mind me tripping and falling in here again. but i would also love to hear about botw au. legend of zelda au's my absolute beloved they have me running circles around my room. adrenaline shot straight to the heart nothing digs its claws in me quite like loz and i am so so interested to hear about it!! clingyduo doomed to save the world in every universe,,,, i'm invested already
thank you so much for humoring me, i love botw aus so much theyre aaaa!! aaAAAAAaaAaaAAa!!!!
so yeah this originally started bc an old friend of mine and i were talking and i forget who suggested it but we were like "hey wouldn't tommyinnit as link be so funny? because tommyinnit is like the exact opposite kind of feral-energy of botw link. loud and swears and uncontrollable and headstrong. hylia's most annoying hero." and things just devolved from there. it's fully a Crack Treated Seriously situation because i spent actual months working out lore n worldbuilding and whatnot fhdjskhfdk.
the fic is officially called Well, Excuuuuuuuse Me, Big Man: The BotW AU No One Asked For (or WEMBM for short)
basic layout (as far as i went with it anyway):
tommy more-or-less follows the order of what you're "supposed" to do to to beat the game: plateau->kakariko->hateno->kakariko again->four main regions->master sword->ganon. of course there are a lot of detours and back-tracking and skipping around for hyjinx
main regions/inhabitants are replaced: Zora->Axols (axolotl "hybrids"), Gorons->Piglins, Rito->Elytrians, Gerudo->Enderians
each of the above races have their own cultures that are loosely based off of the game's original counterparts and some mcrp fanon + personal headcanons thrown in. they're customized to incorporate some (mild) minecraft elements!!
old champions: Mipha->Niki, Daruk->Technoblade, Rivali->Philza, Urbosa->Ran (based loosely off of tftsmp Ran, effectively an oc lmao????)
new champions: Sidon->Foolish (Niki's younger brother) and Jack (Niki's best friend), Yunobo->Drista, Teba->Wilbur, Riju->Ranboo
all of their personalities more-or-less remain intact (which is why the fact that i put The Old Man / King Rhoam as Schlatt so fucking funny)
divine beasts keep their names but the creatures change!! Ruta is a glow squid, Rudania is a blaze, Medoh is still a bird (LMAO i might change this because...), Naboris is a phantom
some scattered details
wilbur is both the "new" champion role AND kass' role!! he and tommy meet early on in his journey (at his first visit to Hateno) but tommy doesn't learn about wilbur's heritage (Philza was his great great great grandfather) until MUCH later. they run into each other a lot during their travels.
wilbur also has a hardcore crush on an axol warrior named sally, which tommy teases and embarrasses him relentlessly for
tubbo (zelda-role) keeps zelda's arc of not being able to develop powers. the key difference is that tommy and tubbo are friends before the calamity business starts to get serious, and tubbo's frustration drives a wedge between them
(angst time: clingy duo has a Big Fight during that one sheikah slate Memory on the palace tower bridge, and they never get the chance to apologize to each other before it all goes to shit and tommy dies sacrificing himself to save tubbo.)
techno and phil are old friends from when they'd do colosseum fights together. they haven't talked much for a few years before becoming champions, both too busy with their respective duties at home, but the moment they realize they've both been recruited well, they're inseparable
windbombing, bullet-time bouncing, and shield clipping are canon. don't question it.
champion ran is a dick (think revali) and the only one there they respect is niki because they underestimated her and then she proceeded to floor them during a sparring session (and she didn't even threaten them with a water based attack, it was all skill)
awesamdude (most people call him "sam", he's ranboo's personal guard) has a half brother named awesamnook (most people call him "nook" or "samnook"). he's the Beedle-role and he talks in all caps like an npc ("HELLO TRAVELER." "Why are you shouting---" "HAVE A LOOK AT MY WARES." "Okay---")
bad runs the yiga-equivalent egg cult that, instead of disguising themselves as travelers, simply uses sprouts of blood-red flowers with a toxic pollen to mind-control bystanders into attacking tommy (yikes)
have some highlights from the few chapters i've written of tommy on the great plateau (yes, the entire google doc is written in comic sans)
tommy immediately sassing tubbo's disembodied voice:
tommy is 7 feet from the cave and is shoving things in his mouth:
(I should also mention he has a pet beetle in his pocket named Sir Legs)
tommy has a grudge against the sheikah pedestals, it's a whole arc on the plateau as he slowly comes to love and appreciate the pedestals and what they do for him:
old man J vs tommy's unwavering optimism(bullheadedness):
tommy vs disembodied voices:
tommy vs the first shrine:
tommy meets a monk:
pulling a direct line from philza's botw playthrough for this one:
me when i fast travel:
The loading screen says: "Leaving Comments: Leaving comments on a fic is a great way to make a writer go :D and give them the motivation they need to continue their bullshittery."
also some chapter titles:
#LONG ASS POST ALERT (and i didnt proofread this lol)#but yeah can you tell i miss this fic#lightningbig tysm for humoring me today. i just feel weird talking abt au ideas if im not prompted?? anyway ur the best <33#the lore doc is 28 pages long and that's not including some of the stuff i haven't written down yet fhdjsk#this functioned as my “no thoughts head empty just write dumbassery” fic when i was working on it and i think its abt time it makes its-#-return with a little facelift and more cubitos tossed into the mix#asks for curly#WEMBM
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i made korean tacos for dinner (no recipe just vibes + what i had in the fridge) and they were unbelievably delicious. my god.
#with a lil hazy ipa on the side!!!!!!#i forgot how EASY and GOOD tacos are to just have fun with.#for the curious: i picked up some stir fry beef at the store and while i chopped cilantro/onion/radish/cukes i let it sit in a combo of:#gochujang + fish sauce + rice vinegar (a dash) + garlic + chili powder + cumin + black pepper + salt + lime juice + onion powder#(just a bunch of stuff i had laying around - use what you have or can get)#then after the veggies were chopped and ready to go i tossed all the meat in a wok and cooked it up#THEN after pulling out the meat i threw a couple tortillas in the wok one at a time and sprinkled some cheese on one side to melt and get#a lil crispy...and also mixed some mayo + sriracha into a sauce for drizzling#(i would've used sour cream instead of mayo if i'd had any but mine was bad T-T)#also i'm out if kimchi or i would've put that on top too. god that would've been so good. i'm kinda mad abt it#anyway then i filled the tortillas with the meat + cilantro + onion + cucumber + radish and drizzled on some sauce.#divine. transcendent. revelatory.#i absolutely love how well korean (honestly a lot of different asian) seasonings and flavor profiles pair with mexican foods and flavors.#CULINARY SYNERGY!!!!#i know this is not a new observation but it still brings me joy every time i remember#anyway fair warning i like spicy food so this is spicy. obviously.
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