#but today we're reversing it lols

[giggly-squiggily]

I'd like to request something ^-^ lee kaminari and ler jiro would be soooooooooo cute!!

The babies!!! I haven't written for them in so long karjkeajkrjke I've gotcha covered, anon! :D

Cloud 9 (Taglist):

@myreygn, @thatbigbisexual29, @duckymcdoorknob, @baby-tickles2022, @cupcake-spice13, @backy-san, @nutzgunray-lvt

“Jirou, Jirou, Jirou, Jirooooou~ I���m begging you, could I have some of that tea?” Denki sang as he twirled up to the girl, leaning into the back of her chair as he watched her work. Her notebook was decorated in various words and doodles, all musical related from the looks of it.

“Sure, here.” She didn’t stop her tapping pen as she passed him her iced drink, eyes still fixed on the paper. To anyone else, she seemed a picture of focus and calm, but Denki could feel it. From how tense her back felt against the chair to the way she was chewing on her bottom lip, she was clearly frustrated.

“Song giving you troubles?” He asked after taking his sip, reaching down and offering her the straw. She leaned into it without averting her gaze, sipping noisily. “Can I help?”

“Huh?” She blinked, turning to finally look at him. It was then he could see the real toll this song had on her- dark circles lined her eyes, her face lacked its usual color. How long had she been at it? “Oh, it’s fine. I got it- it’s just this one part that’s…” She fell off her sentence with a sudden yawn, eyes heavy with sleep. “...What was I saying?”

“You were saying you were just planning on calling it for the night and coming to bed.” Denki turned her swirly chair around so she was facing said destination, presenting it like a TV host offering her a large prize. “Sleep awaits, Jirou. You can get right back at it in the morning.”

“But…” She turned to her song, only to find Denki’s fingers gently guiding her chin over until they were eye to eye once more.

“Babe. Sleep.”

“....Fine.” She gave in, shoulders drooping. “Knowing my luck, the lyrics are gonna be nothing but snore sounds if I keep writing.” She went to stand, taking Denki’s offered hand as the two made it over to her bed. “I suppose a power nap wouldn’t hurt…”

“Sounds good- whoa!” Denki yelped when he was suddenly pulled down into the bed. Before he could move away, Jirou was already fast asleep, her arm around his torso as if he were an electric teddy bear. “J-Jirou? I don’t think Mr. Aizawa would approve of this…”

All he got in return was more snores. When he peeked, he felt himself loose a breath at her sleeping face. Cheeks slightly puffed and pink, eyes closed and no longer lined with stress. It didn’t hurt that she smelled nice- like jasmine.

“Oh…okay.” He gave in, getting comfortable. Ideally, she’d be awake before anyone walked in, and they were both above the sheets fully clothed. Tucking his arms behind his head, he stared up at the ceiling, counting the seemingly endless glowing stars decorating it. “I wonder how they’d look during the night?” He asked out loud, knowing he wasn’t going to get an answer. “Knowing you, you’d probably align them to look like actual constellations. I bet you got them down pat too- you’re crafty like that.” He smiled softly, resisting the urge to run his hand against her hair in fear she’d wake. “I bet you're dreaming about stars now.”

She shifted, and for a moment he wondered if she was awake. But then Jirou mumbled in her sleep about this and that, and he felt himself relax once more. “Sorry, I’ll be quiet now.” He reassured her, closing his eyes. A little nap wouldn’t hurt, right?

He was just about to fade away into dreamland when he felt it- the first poke to his side. Fighting down a jolt, his eyes widened. Was that intentional? He peeked down- no, she was still asleep. Must have been a body twitch then?

Another poke. He stiffened, a laugh bubbling at the base of his throat. Okay, she had to be awake. He went to say something-

“Mm..move over.” She mumbled sleepily, her hand poking again and again into his side. Denki bit his lip as he struggled to fight down the laughs. “You’re…in the piano, Jerry…”

She’s…dreaming? About some guy named Jerry? Denki puffed, ready to wake her up and ask just who this Jerry was-

“Jerry…get off the piano…Tom’s…solo…”

….Oh. Tom and Jerry. She was dreaming of the mouse.

Huh. That was oddly cute. Denki would have remarked if her hand hadn’t started pressing more into his ribs, making him shiver. This wasn’t going to work- if she kept poking him, he was gonna start laughing and wake her up. Reaching down, he went to grab her hand, hoping to halt it.

“Jerry…go over there…it’s not your turn…” She pressed into his ribs with all five fingers, making him jump with a laugh. The hand going for hers slapped over his mouth, and he stared in horror, waiting for Jirou to react.

Nothing. She was still dreaming.

“J-Jirou, you’re tickling me!” He whispered, slowly moving his hand. Then her hand attacked his side again and he was covering his mouth, shaking with suppressed mirth as she mumbled about “I’ll get you you little rat…come here…”

“J-Jihiihihirou!” Denki squeaked, trying his best not to squirm. It was proving to be increasingly difficult the more she dug into his side. It was almost like she decided the best course of punishment for her dream invader was to tickle HIM! It probably didn’t help that he was squeaking like a mouse himself, her fingers finding all the bad spots along his ribs. “Pleehhhhehehase whahhahahke uhuuhuuhp!”

Jirou’s brow furrowed, and she scooted up further against his chest, her hand reaching his armpit. Denki bit the inside of his cheek, just barely silencing the scream he knew he was gonna let out. “Jhiihiihi-” He sucked in a breath. “Ji-heeeeee!” He forced his squeal into a breathy wheeze. “Kehhehehehhokahahhhahaha!”

Just when he thought that was it, her hand suddenly fell limp. Denki sucked in greedy breath after greedy breath as he stared up at the ceiling, willing himself to peek. She was definitely up- she had to be! And he used her first name! Readying himself for the worst, he looked-

She was still asleep! Her breathing was slow and rhythmic, face pressed into his chest as she fisted her hand in his shirt. “Gotcha…little rat…” She mumbled softly.

“Eh…” He sighed, reaching up to gently play with her hair. “Glad you caught him, Ji. Glad you did.”

~~~

“Mm…hm?” Jirou blinked, opening her eyes. She felt well rested, her head clear and her hands ready to jump back into her song writing.

She also felt rather warm. Looking down, it was easy to see why.

“Oh! Denki…” She sat up, looking down at his sleeping form. Did they…she looked around the room, waiting for the sounds of their classmates.

When nothing came too, she let out a sigh of relief. They won’t be getting a lecture from Mr. Aizawa today. Standing up, she turned to look at Denki once more, something soft entering her expression. “You know…this isn’t a bad idea for a song.”

She wondered back to her desk, humming a happy tune as she began to write.

Thanks for reading!

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[cinamun]

Ooou sis! I'm working backwards yet again. I was trying to scroll/pick up where I last left off at but I got distracted at SPOILER ALERT...I REPEAT SPOILER ALERT (for those that are catching up too...please swiftly scroll...because Imma need to park here for a moment...

CAUSE NOT MY MR. BABY DADDY DOCTOR SIR...Nuh uh, her deflecting ass CANNOT be! I was trying to be a law obiding citizen, in theses here tumblr streets but I saw baby boo and got distracted (cause lawd knows his fine "I can fix that" ass is damn fine...you understand meeeee!). Standin in that office looking *bites knuckle* 😩Had to flip it in reverse cause Mercy's yellin ass is here *holds hand above head* and Imma need her to be here *holds hand at knee level*. NOT TODAY!

But also, while we're here...It never ceases to amaze me the way some think that therapy/healing is an overnight fix. GIRL HOW TF CAN YOU HEAL IF YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL YOURSELF THE DAMN TRUTH! Mercy, Ma'am, it took you all that damn time to pack this shit up (go through/deal with/live with/suppress/ignore it), it's gonna take you a good while to unpack. Girlie, that bag is so damn heavy, it's gonna take some years just to flip that MF over on it's back, so you can even begin to unzip it. Out here tryna read every MF body else but when it comes to yourself, it's *crickets*. Mercy, girl, I love you down (and Im giving you grace as I pack my ski mask and book my flight to San Sequoia...because WHOOOOOOO SHE THINK SHE TALKING TOOOOOOOO!?...

No but for real, all jokes aside, I'm looking forward to the day that she is ready and willing to do the work (and I'm looking forward to the twist & turns that you take us on to get there...because if we know anything we know the roads get topsy turvy round here!). Ya'll fasten your seatbelts and prepare for turbulence Lol. Switching gears a bit, I am glad that HoJay decided to put the babies in Daycare. That's a good choice (1) for the kids to be able to mix & mingle with more kiddos (2) for Hope to get reacquainted with "Hope" again & (3) so Mercy can finally give herself the time to serve herself for once too!

I may circle back at a later time when I've had enough rest to process other thoughts that's running in my mind. Til then, Imma be in the back corner pondering how many more lemon peps I can fit on my plate. BECAUSE THIS IS GOOOODT!

As is always the case sis I AM HOLLERIN!!! You said NOT MY DOCTOR GYATDAMMIT

I meannnnnnnnnnnn and I'm glad you brought up daycare. Did you see that flawless pivot Jay did because wtf you mean we don't need you? HOW IS THERAPY GOING MOM!?? Because she really thinks she can just bottle that shit back up like some tabasco sauce (or crystal) and start babysitting grandbabies again. NAWL SIS we got WORK to do first. The babies need social and emotional learning which is definitely not happening in Grandma Mercy's lil playroom.

She done been THROUGH some shit and thinks she can just forget it and hope she doesn't get thrown into a wall again and remember it. One thing the Good Doc™ is not, is stupid. Whether them awards of excellence on the wall are old or not, the brotha knows what he's doing and can probably see right through all that yelling in his expensive black and gold office.

Now the question is, will she take her ass back. Y'all stay tuned pls...

[steddieunderdogfics]

Today is all about @oh-stars! In today's Mod Spotlight, we're highlighting Jo and all they bring to this space!!

Jo created this space back in December and handles most of our regular fic recs and scheduling Fic Fridays! As well as making graphics, scheduling the event announcements and calendar, Jo steps in to help where she's needed!

Jo (she/they) has been a fic writer for over ten years, and a mod for seven years. Over the years, she’s written for other fandoms, such as Marvel, but now primarily focuses on Stranger Things — specifically Steddie. She mods the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang, the Steve Harrington Big Bang, the Eddie Munson Big Bang, and created Steddie Underdog Fics back in December.

As a part of our mod spotlight, Jo answered some questions from you all and our team! You can read them below.

Be sure to stay tuned for more recs and future mod spotlights in the future!

What drew you to Steddie?

Truthfully, I couldn’t tell you. I’m a Steve girlie through and through, have been for years, but it’s something about his dynamic with Eddie that just clicked. It’s the same way I feel about all my major ships over the years. To me, and this isn’t a fresh take by any means cause I know I’ve seen others make the name connection, but Steddie has the same energy as Stucky from Marvel, Buddie from 9-1-1, and Superbat from DC, which are the other three big ships I’ve consistently the past few years. I’m a multishipper, can really see the beauty in other ships and dynamics for any of my fandom characters, but there’s something special about Steddie that I just don’t have the words for.

What is your favorite thing about modding this page?

This is so cheesy, but the community! I adore how everyone supports one another and discovering fics and authors I’ve never come across outside of the bubble I’ve found myself in. It’s such a joy being able to uplift authors and share their fics, it trumps all the headaches that can come with modding a page.

What are your favorite tropes to read?

I’m a sucker for kid fics, secret relationships, and hurt/comfort – especially heavy angst with happy endings.

What’s your guilty pleasure trope?

Omegaverse is the safe answer, lol, but probably darker fics? Angstier fics that I have to be super careful with the tags or else I can’t read lol. It’s not something I engage with all the time, but every now and then I go down the Major Character Death tags.

What is your preferred way to read and find fics?

I go through the tags very methodically, especially for a new fandom. With Steddie, it was a bit different since it’s the first time I’ve been around for the start of a ship – or at least paying attention to the ship as it’s forming. So usually I’ll either sort by date updated or word counts, then go through the tag I’m wanting page by page and read back to back. And if I make it through a whole tag, thats when I go to recs to see if I can find something to spark my interest for a new tag. Or for a tag I’d never really read on my own.

What makes a fic an instant yes for you to read?

Word count is a big one, the longer the better, especially if you add in a slow burn tag with a six digit wc. Otherwise, it’s a combination of things like a high word count, mix of slow burn, misunderstandings, happy endings tags, and it being completed, I’ll rarely hesitate.

Anonymous - Is there any older or lesser-known Steddie event from the past few years that you particularly love (if ongoing or recurring) or loved? Did you participate in any?

I really enjoyed the community over at @steddieholidayexchange (and the summer one). I’ve participated in many events over the years, from Steddie BB 2023 and a few other exchanges to ones I’ve modded like the Stranger Things Reverse BB, but that community was special.

@sidekick-hero - What makes a fanfic stand out for you?

How well rounded it is! With fanfic, I don’t want it to just focus on moving the plot forward all the time. Take the scenic route and let the characters breathe as they explore a number of side quests and plots as we navigate the main plot. Give me good dialogue, prose, interesting twists or interactions, and good character moments and I’ll be happy.

@worldswcollide - What advice would you give to someone who is interested in becoming a mod in the future?

Organization is everything and take notes!! Staying consistent with your organization and keeping records of everything will really help keep everything running smoothly. For events like big bangs and reverse big bangs that happen annually or semi-annually, it’s really important to keep a list of what works and doesn’t to improve the next run. Listen to feedback from your participants and see what you can adapt to make it work. Not all feedback has to be followed, but it’s good to try and see how you can improve your event or space. That’s where the records and notes will also come into play so you don’t have to start from scratch on the next one and you can back up what is working with evidence if you need to defend it within the team. Otherwise, just have fun. Don’t take it too seriously. Modding fan pages and events is volunteer work and meant to be fun, so if it isn’t anymore, don’t let it suck the joy out of fandom for you!

Anonymous - Do you participate in any other fannish activities, like making playlists, gif edits, fanart, podcasts, Pinterest boards, etc?

I’ve definitely dabbled in a lot – playlists, fan edits, fan art, animations, book binding, etc – but none that stick around as much as writing. I spend so much time modding I don’t really have the time to do more outside of it.

@sidekick-hero - What motivates you to mod for steddieunderdogfics?

My team and the continued support we get from our loyal supporters! We see the same names reblogging the call to action posts and engaging with the posts, so it’s really encouraging to see that our work has an impact in the fandom!

@worldswcollide -  Are there skills you’ve learned as a mod that have helped you in your everyday life?

I have literally used my modding experience in job interviews. I frame it as event planning and management, with an emphasis on customer service and organization and usually that’s a great talking point for interviews. That being said, it’s really broadened my spreadsheet abilities and organization and I view teamwork in a different way now. As a burnt out gifted kid who took on the brunt of team projects in school, letting people take over work has always been tough so having a trusted team that shows me I can hand things over, its really refreshing. And now I’ve been able to do the same at work!

Anonymous - Have you had a particular favorite Challenge Monday or weekend theme so far (maybe because of the theme, the recs, or the engagement, or for some other reason)?

Okay so a little BTS, but we totally have handpicked some themes for each mod. For my birthday back, we did kid fics for that theme weekend since it fell on that Sunday since it was my favorite trope – and the same has been extended for the other mods’ birthdays. Outside of that, I really like the ones that I don’t expect to get a lot of submissions. And the comment ones, since we try to encourage those submitting the recs to also leave a comment.

@sidekick-hero - What do you like best about fandom?

I’ve said it a few times already, but community. I don’t have the biggest community outside of fandom, so it’s always touching to see how amazing and supportive everyone has been. Social stuff is tough for me, but no matter where I look in fandom spaces, there’s always someone willing to be patient and kind. It’s really changed my life, introducing me to some of the most incredible, impactful people I’ve ever met like @karadanverss, @sparkstar-trash, and @lady-lostmind -- and so many others. No matter how cringe or whatever opinions people have about fandom, I’ll never be shy about my experiences in fandom and with fanfic because of the people I’ve met over the years.

@worldswcollide - If you absolutely HAD to choose—enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? (At least when it comes to Steddie)

This is actually super easy to me, but friends to lovers all the way. I prefer that over enemies to lovers anyway, because that’s a really tough trope for me, but there’s something special about friends to lovers. I love how sweet and gentle it is, especially on a longer slow burn as things trickle into place in a way that just feels right because it’s meant to be. Enemies to lovers, though, is tricky. Rivals are always fun, but actual enemies is a hard line to toe. For me, I feel like the reason they’re enemies is either too light to be true enemies or too heavy that it’s kind of impossible to realistically get past. I like writing both, but I think in the end, I prefer friends to lovers.

Anonymous - Have you seen any interesting or fascinating trends in the ST or Steddie fandom that you'd like to talk about?

For ST and Steddie specifically, no. I think it’s really fun to see how the fandom shifts as a wave. Like post S4 drop, we were all about the fix-its and canon fics, time loops were massive and the kas theory was really hitting after the last two eps. Then I feel like we’re constantly going in and out of tropes as a whole, while the staples are always constant. But all of that is pretty standard across any fandom so it’s hard to really pinpoint.

@sidekick-hero - What made you create Steddie Underdog Fics?

Steddie Big Bang 2023. That was a monster of a bang and between how big it ended up being as well as the nature of how Steddie exploded, I felt a little helpless. I was super lucky to have gotten a lot of attention on one of my fics, but I really attribute that to timing, length, and how quickly I got it written. Do I think it deserves how much love and attention it got? No, there are so many other amazing works that feature new ideas and concepts, with interesting takes on canon or the characters, that should have just as much attention as that fic received. But the bigger the ship got, the easier it was for fics to slip under the radar. I’m still very lucky to have dedicated readers on my works, but at the time, I was really struggling with my Steddie BB fic. I was struggling with some negativity on it and seeing other authors worry about their own fics because they weren’t getting feedback, then one thing led to another and I was creating the blog before I could really process it.

Anonymous - Have you seen a rec method like it in other places before or was there just a general desire to help highlight things lost in the large growth of the Steddie fandom?

@steddieficfind’s format of crowdsourcing helped shape how I wanted to go about this space. At the time, while I was reading a lot, most of the fics I was reading were ongoing updates or from the same few authors, and a lot were oneshots. So I would go on rec lists and @steddieficfindto find new fics that I may have missed when going through my usual tags, because summaries aren’t always accurate. I know I struggle with my own fics’ summaries, but seeing how a reader sees a fic versus the author can really help bring in new perspectives. Thinking about that, I decided that having other people share their recs and highlight fics in a new light other than the author’s summary could be an interesting take on the rec space.

@sidekick-hero - Do you look for different things in fanfic when you're reading it than when you're writing it?

Oh yes, I’m way more critical about my own fic than the ones I’m reading. With my work, I’m trying to get to a destination while my reading choices are about the journey. I just want to enjoy the fic and see what happens, I’m not criticizing word choice or looking at the craft as a whole. Sometimes its hard to shut that off, but I really try to separate the two.

@worldswcollide - How did you transition from writing fic to taking on such big projects?

I’m a bit of a workaholic when it comes to fandom stuff. I’ll do the bare minimum in my jobs (because they’re super low stakes, let’s be real) so I can devote a lot of energy to writing and modding my events and this page. That being said, I usually hyper focus on the newest project for a minute before I take a more balanced approach. It helps having teams that can support me, especially with ongoing projects like this one. There were so many times where I nearly deleted this space because it got too overwhelming on my own, even as I added more and more to it. I couldn’t be doing this without @spicysix and @verdantcactus. They’re willingness to help, earnest interest, and brilliant ideas on how we can work the space has been a game changer. I can’t thank them enough for taking on this project with me, for continuing to absolutely nail it week after week. So thank you both so very much!!

Anonymous - What is it about Bang events that draws you in, especially as a mod?

It’s addicting. Genuinely. I’ve been doing them for seven years now across a handful of fandoms. Modding is just so fun for me, it helps me engage more with new people in ways I’m too intimidated to try as just a participant. And again, the community is really nice within events, especially with everyone cheering each other on as we hit milestones and deadlines. I really appreciate that support and getting the opportunity to support others to try new things.

@sidekick-hero - What's the best feedback you've ever gotten (could be about your writing or being a mod)?

This is really tough! It’s one of two, both were from my favorite writing professor. It’s more advice than feedback about my work specifically, but it’s something I’m constantly thinking about, especially now when I’m a bit stuck writing wise as a whole. The first is that writing is a muscle, not a talent. You can always improve and get better the more you practice, but in the same vein that it’s harder to lift 50lbs when you don’t lift that much all the time, you can lose it too. Writing a little bit each day, even if it's a sentence or two at a time, will be better than letting it rest, because you can’t edit a blank page. And as long as you’re thinking about the story, playing around with what you’ll do next, what worked in a past scene or you want to change in another, that counts too. It’s still writing even if you’re not getting actual words down. The second is that if you’re blocked, look up the page. The answer is almost always two or three paragraphs before you stopped, or in bigger works, sections ahead. Finding the problem may be harder than expected, but it’s always there.

Today, all of our recs are from @oh-stars specifically! You can always see their recs on our Fic Fridays by checking our #mod stars rec tag.

[bagog]

for the reverse trope writing prompt: instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren't actually dating, with mshenko?

Lol! Fun, okay, here goes:

++

Traynor was about to buzz the door of the Loft when its holo turned green and the door suddenly opened.

"Oh, Major!" Traynor stepped back, Kaidan jolted at the sight of her.

"Hi, uh... hi Specialist." His eyes flicked awkwardly between the Traynor and the lift, and he scootched forward so the Loft door shut behind him.

"Just giving your briefing to Commander Shepard, I suppose?" Traynor drummed her fingers idly on the data-pad she was carrying. "Just updating him on the situation with the evacuation on Gellix."

"Um, no, I... Shepard and I just had a little time between shifts."

"Hmm," Traynor tilted her head, "Alright then!" Kaidan's brow furrowed, but he stepped quickly to the lift and descended. Traynor barely gave a shrug before buzzing the comms. ~~

A few days later, docked at the Citadel, Kaidan had split a cab with Joker and EDI to some shops around the Presidium. They both seemed to be headed to the same store though.

"Welcome to Melvail's Hobbies and Gifts and Rites and Rituals!" exclaimed a holo VI of the eponymous salarian upon their entry. "I'm sorry Melvail is not melvailable today! I hope I can help with any of your questions! Please melvail yourself of the kiosk to make any purchases! We cannot currently offer access to our behind-the-counter rites and hobbies, please come another time!"

"Beckley says this is the best place on the Citadel for dice, never said I could get baptized here, too." Joker leaned against the counter, stared down into the glass case where a hologram of Krogan fertility idol spun slowly in the air.

Kaidan walked up to the kiosk and began flipping through the listings. The idol hologram shifted into a model of a quarian live-ship.

"Yes!" Kaidan pumped his fist at his side. "They still have one!"

"Picking up a new hobby, or buying for someone special?"

"The latter," Kaidan said after a pause. "Shepard had this model before his arrest, but they don't make it anymore."

"You know you don't have to buy your CO presents? Especially when you outrank him."

"I'm not... He's not my..." Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just wanted to do something special. I'm meeting him for lunch later, it's our first time back on the Citadel since we started dating."

"Dating what?"

"...what?"

"What are the two of you dating?"

"Like dating rocks!? No! We're.... dating, we're going out."

"Pfffffffft," Joker sputtered, terminating in a laugh. "Pretty good one, Major."

"I'm not joking."

"Jeff," EDI touched Joker's shoulder lightly. "I believe Kaidan is employing an idiom to express that he and Commander Shepard are working together in their capacity as Spectres."

"No, I'm not doing that," Kaidan angrily punched at the buttons to purchase the model. "We're... seeing each other. We are engaged in a relationship." When he turned to his silent friends, they both blinked at him, listless.

"I don't get it." Joker said at last.

~~ The next day, Shepard and Kaidan sat across from one another in the mess. "I'm just saying," Kaidan spoke in a hushed tone. "I was nervous about the crew finding out, but now I'm frustrated nobody seems to get it."

"I know what you mean," Shepard spoke quietly in reply. "I told James we were dating at poker the other night and he thought I was trying to push our something." Kaidan sipped at his coffee, eyebrows still furrowed over the rim.

"Last week, while we were assisting with that evac, I was talking to Garrus and it kind of slipped out that you and I are "a thing." He goes 'Just because everyone says you're the ass-wiping hand of the Council doesn't mean you're a 'thing,' Kaidan.'"

Shepard shook his head. "I don't know. I'm a likeable guy, I've got likeable qualities. Some might call me a catch! What's so hard to believe a guy like me could be going out with a guy like you?"

Kaidan chuckled, patted Shepard's arm and left his hand there a moment. "Hey! It's not an us thing! They've all got pigeon brain or something."

Greg Adams happened to notice them out of the corner of his eye as he rounded the bulkhead. With a nod and a whistle, he stepped up to the table.

"Commander, Major. Was just coming looking for you, Commander. And Major, just passed someone who was looking for you. Lucky I ran into both of you at once!" His eyes drifted down just for a second at where Kaidan's hand rested on Shepard's arm.

Shepard cleared his throat. "That's great, I was just getting a little morning pep-talk from my boyfriend."

Greg nodded understandingly. "Glad you're getting comms through, still, that has to be a real relief for him to get messages from you letting him know you're alright."

"No, I'm his boyfriend, Greg." Kaidan patted Shepard's arm. Greg scrunched up his face.

"For what?"

"For--what do you mean 'for what'? I love Shepard. I am in love with Shepard." He froze as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but Adams showed no sign of comprehension.

Just then, the hatch to Liara's office opened. She stepped out and looked directly at Adams.

"Oh Chief Adams, I wanted to talk to you about the power coupling outside my office, do you have a moment?"

Adams nodded and went immediately to take a panel off the wall at Liara's prompting.

"So..." Shepard said, practically under his breath. "You... love me? You're in love with me?"

Kaidan swallowed, a shy smile playing at his lips. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Over at the panel, Liara and Adams were talking indistinctly. When Adams motioned over his shoulder at the table, Liara said something that involved clasping her hands together. Adams whirled around to look at Shepard and Kaidan in wonder, then immediately turned around in embarrassment.

Over Greg's shoulder, Kaidan caught Liara quirking him a significant look. He chuckled, "Can always count on the Shadow Broker."

By the end of the day "Kaidan and Shepard are together" was a secret everyone on board thought they were keeping to themselves.

++

That ended up being... less disbelieving in a relationship than just... no one understanding, but I hope it was at least a little fun. Maybe I'll have to give it another go later on. Thanks again!

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Thank you for all your asks… I’ll reply to everyone at some point. Happy Saturday!

Talking about Fellow Honest, Rookvil and Sebek’s grandpa… the first asks are kind of spicy lol

Anonymous asked:

i just realized most of the boys in the playful land event u hc as tops so pls consider: NRC boys x fellow gangbang

(reverse gangbang for gidel and the two bottoms idk)

Anon, this is so hilarious; when we first realised that this was an almost top-only party, I wept. Rollo was lucky… Poor Fellow! And he almost got every single HORRIBLE one, too! Was lucky enough not to get Rook though; he wouldn’t leave his fluffy tail alone lol

Also bold of you to assume that NRC boys x Fellow gangbang wasn’t our minds CONSTANTLY while we were watching the event 😭 Those nasty brats…! It’s painfully easy to imagine them going “let’s mess this bastard up~”.

I haven’t drawn the gangbang itself, only some sketches implying it, but… I really should 😭 Let’s hope.

Haven’t thought about Gidel with Vil and Leona though! Surprisingly… he would scratch a certain itch for both of them I think lol

Anonymous asked:

Games are over, it's time to get serious! Tell me, which one of the boys ended up hooking up with Fellow during the playful land event? I know that the funniest and best answer is definitely "all of them", but I wonder if you have anyone in mind... Also, poor Fellow, there were so many tops in this event! He suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder and turns around to see Riddle form the Stitch event, who just shakes his head and goes "It never gets any easier...". On another note, does this mean we're going to get the fox's slut-istics eventually?

ANON OUT THERE ASKING REAL QUESTIONS, AND shooting me in the head instantly because I really wanted to say “all of them”!! 😭 But let’s consider that the great NRC gangbang didn’t happen, let’s humour the idea, let’s think about it…

I think the ones that are the most likely to hook up with Fellow are Lilia (he knows a nasty bitch that lacks training when he sees one), the Tweels (they are determined to enjoy themselves today, so Fellow should play with them!), Ortho (he’ll make Fellow uncomfortable with how un-innocent he is), Ace (he got super ballsy by the end there, tbh my money is on him) and Kalim fucking Al-Asim. Although the last one sends mixed messages as always because he is at the same time very openly flirty and very weirdly platonic lol Still, he seemed to really, really liked Fellow, so anything could happen.

God I love the word “slut-tistics”… If you mean the sluttiness chart that I did some time ago, then yes, Fellow absolutely deserves one! Let’s see… I think, it’d be something like this:

Promiscuity: 4; Flirtiness: 4; Sex-drive: 2; Kinkiness: 3.

Total: 13

He isn’t super loyal to anyone, but he also isn’t 100% promiscuous; to Fellow, having sex with someone and being loyal are two different things. He is loyal to someone he loves dearly, but this is its separate thing <3 Sex is survival, to be honest, he doesn’t do it for pleasure all that often. Still, because he had to go through the hands of so many deeply perverted people, his body developed some kinks that he didn’t even know he could have…

Flirting is an instrument of manipulation for him, but I feel like he also enjoys it genuinely.

Sooo if he is 13, that would put him just below the total slut tier wow impressive lol

(Also YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT RIDDLE IN THAT EVENT I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, oh buddy, oh poor little thing…)

Anonymous asked:

Hi! I love your blog sm and your art is amazing aaaa i loved that savannahclaw Rook you did, so handsome!! That description on the picture made me wonder, how would you say Rook and Vil would have first gotten together ? Did Rook ask Vil out or was Vil the one who dropped hints on wanting to get together? Do you think they went on dates or just straight up jumped into the bushes? LMAO ive always been curious on headcanons on how you would imagine them first dating before they became the silly couple we all know and love

Thank you so much, Anon!! <3 I am very happy you liked it!

I love talking about these two and especially the earlier stages of their relationship lol I talked about it in this post + wrote some hcs about their first time too.

I feel like they were getting closer and closer very quickly as they continued talking to each other every day, and then at some point the tension just got too strong. Maybe there would be sense for them to talk about their feelings, but it was the kind of situation when it was obvious even without words. So none of them really asked the other one out, but at some point they just started “dating”…

Maybe this isn’t how Vil imagined his first proper relationship to start, but it’s not like he wasn’t just as passionate as Rook was lol

Their little chats were their “dates” technically. But I think they had their first “proper date”(=going somewhere) after they started making out and having sex.

Anonymous asked:

Just out of curiosity, would you ever consider having head cannons or maybe even doing artwork of Sebek's grandfather, Baul...?

Like, in your eyes, is he a bottom or top? Do you ship him with anybody? Or does he just not interest you that much? Cause that's okay too! I'm just really curious, I really like Baul lol. 💚

We absolutely would whenever we actually get to read ch7 and know him better! I have no doubt that we are going to like him a lot, so at least one portrait sketch is a must. His design is cool, and I love his armour. He is one handsome croc :”3

We don’t ship him with anyone yet because we haven’t seen anything of him, but based on things we already know, it feels like he is going to join the top squad. But until we actually see him and learn how he interacts with others and what dynamics he has with people around him, we can’t say for certain.

Even if we end up not shipping him with anyone, I’ll write some solo hcs about him if someone wants to read them! By the time we actually get to know him, of course. It’ll take a while lol sorry about it.

[secret--psalms--saturn]

Inklings Challenge 2024

Hi! This is my first time finishing an inklings challenge( @inklings-challenge !) Yay! I've decided to keep it short and sweet.

My team is Tolkien and I've decided to do Secondary World Fantasy with the theme of comforting the sorrowful. With that being said,

TW: death mention, specifically suicide mention

I don't go into specifics and honestly just heavily implied, but I wanted to tag it just in case!

Anyways, enjoy! Please just ignore the ugly grammar lol:

Odeda looked up at her husband from her laptop, watching him wash dishes from today's breakfast. His skinny arms were quick but thorough, and his eyes focused on scrubbing each dish with care. He looked like he was studying each one as if he had saw them for the first time.

Constantine was just about done, she had guessed. Breakfast wasn't big, just some eggs and toast, with a few fresh strawberries. Work was a little slow this season, so he was able to sit down and have breakfast with her.

It was quiet, as so had the morning been. Neither of them talked much, just small talk about their plans for the day. Sunlight had trickled in kitchen window, illuminating Constantine's pale, smooth long face and tickled his long pointed ears. Odeda smiled softly, loving the simple but beautiful view. She tucked her curly hair behind her similar ears and rose a coffee mug to her lips, choosing to break from her writing to observe his long figure. He finally finished up, shook out his hands and dried them fully with an embroidered hand towel.

"Okay beloved, I'm gonna get going. We're gonna be picking up soon." Constantine pushed up his glasses as he walked over and gave her a tender kiss on her lips. He then looked down and put a hand on her dress, right on her stomach. "Be good for your mama, little one." He whispered with a smile and walked towards the door.

"Be safe honey." Odeda said, as he opened the door.

"Will do, business is just a mile down the road."

"I know, sometimes I wish you would just take a Ruby Share."

"Yeah but the time it takes to get a cab out here and drive me… I'd be there already." He let a small smile escape from his lips. "I'll be careful, don't you worry" He nodded in assurance.

"Okay, love you. Just text me when you get there alright?"

"Will do. Love you, bye." With that, he closed the door, barely making a sound.

She took a small sip of her black coffee, warm and comforting. Looking around, she took in the small kitchen space, enough for basic appliances and a few smaller ones pushed to the back of the light green walls. The toned wooden cabinets sat above the counters that held enough space for their dishes. Floral matching curtains were pushed aside the window and door window. A floral lamp that was off hung from the ceiling but gave light at dinner. A couple spring themed mats sat on the brown wooden floor near the sink and door.

Odeda whispered a small prayer, before closing her laptop and packed her things. She took a deep breath, hiked her bags up, and headed out the door.

Odeda placed a bag in her passenger seat, walked over to the driver side, and plumped down. It was getting a little harder to adjust in small spaces being 35 week pregnant, but she managed. She had offered her husband a ride to work the night before, but he declined knowing she had a doctor's appointment in the next town she had to get to. Shifting the car in reverse, she backed out of the driveway and headed down the dirt road. Drive was about an hour away, so she turned on her playlist and let her mind ease… at least as much as she could.

But her mind drifted instead. Odeda thought about the unusually warm May day it was, and how she brought a cardigan just in case but chose to feel the warm breeze against her skin anyway. Odeda gripped the staring wheel, thankfully sighing and taking deep breaths. She knew her doctor would tell her to relax her shoulders and unclench her jaw. Things have settled a bit since March, the last cold blow to their family. Finally, a warm day to bring some kind of relief to her and Constantine. The winter was long and bleak, as this region often gets. But this year had] been particularly hard. So many losses and hardships… they made it out, but barely.

Odeda shook her head, taking another deep breath. She turned up her music and tried to blare out her thoughts with her favourite playlist. She thought it was working, but asking her to not think about a white elephant, just brought a whole herd in. Soon her tears flowed and her driving sense kicked into auto pilot. Who was she to fight the memories that begged her to address them properly?

Just a few more days Odeda reminded herself. Her therapy appointment was Thursday, and then she could continue chipping away at the pain. Since she didn't want to burden her husband, she sought out to wear her heart out on her sleeve only in certain times.

Trees waved past her as she got onto more solid back roads. She loved it a bit more than highways. They were winding, quiet, and had a great view of the hills she passed by. Some clouds scattered the sky, allowing the sun to kiss the blooming plant life that is starting to wake up from the chilling winter. Broken brick side rails and wooden fences weaved in and out of the side of the road, separating the pavement from fields of gold and lush green pastures. It caused Odeda to glance upon it with a smile, giving her just enough hope to look forward to summer's glow.

About half way there, she heard her phone buzz. She knew better than to check her phone, however she knew it was her husband letting her know he was at the shop. They had started a floral business together, about a year ago. It's been a wild ride, adding weeds to their garden but for now, the garden is about to flourish again. Odeda usually helped a lot in shop, but as her pregnancy progressed she focused more on taking it easy.

Odeda put a hand on her tummy, looking forward to her ultrasound and hearing her little one's heartbeat. The young elven woman looked even more forward to meeting the child face to face,

xoxo

Odeda dialed her husband's number as she got into the car and sent it through Bluetooth.

"Hey love!" She greeted him.

"Hey honey, how'd your appointment go?"

"All is well." She assured him. Odeda knew he wanted to tag along with her, but if he did he would've had to stay late at the office. Constantine knew she rather would have him be home by dinner, so they both didn't mind.

"Good. Did you go to Sandy's afterwords?"

"Yeah, you know how I've been craving their chocolate croissants."

She could hear a small chuckle. "You and your chocolate."

"Hey! The baby wanted it."

She heard a sharp but short laugh. "Okay okay, your story going well?"

"Yeah."

There was a few moments of silence.

"Okay love," she finally said. "See you when I get home?"

"See you then"

"Love you"

"Love you too."

"Bye"

xoxo

"I got a summons to the court" Constantine said quietly, pulling out an envelope embellished with golf lettering and a wax seal of their kingdom's emblem.

"A summons!?" Odeda exclaimed, in disbelief. "For what?"

He opened the letter, and then smiled, breaking the 'act' that he had been concealing.

"Honey," he looked at her with a wide grin. "you know the prince is getting married, right?"

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Well they need a florist"

"A florist…?" Odeda trailed off, thinking for a moment with her head focusing on the ground, tapping her chin. She then looked up at him, wide eyed. "And they asked..?"

"Us!" He exclaimed.

"Wonderful!" She yelled, jumping in his embrace. She gazed at his eyes for a moment, full of pure joy and happiness. She hadn't seen this look in his face in a long time. 3 months… she missed it.

"So we're going to the castle??" Odeda asked.

Constantine frowned a bit and grimaced. "Well I am…"

"You? Just you? Why can't I come?"

"Sweetheart you're getting to the end here. I don't want to travel so far out of town away from your midwife just in case something happens."

Odeda sighed. "I guess you're right but…" She straightened up a bit. "I've had a really healthy pregnancy and I am only 35 weeks. I guess if we plan for a week and a half there, it's not likely I would go into labor in that time."

Constantine looked at the letter again. "Babe I really think its best you stay. The travel might be a bit much."

Tears weld up in her eyes. She knew this was a losing battle. "What if… what if I talk to my midwife? What if she gives me the clearance to go? I just think I can be valuable for such an occasion."

Constantine thought for a moment. "Okay, I do really need you so… If the midwife give the okay, then it'll be okay with me." he smiled, embracing his excited wife once again.

xoxo

The train station was bustling with travelers going to and fro. Constantine clutched both their suitcases while standing on the platform. Odeda stood beaming next to her husband, looking at the tickets in her hands. Her majesty was kind to cover travel expenses as they rode them in here.

She was especially thankful her midwife, Malea, gave her the okay to go on the trip. "You're the picture of perfect pregnancy." Malea had labeled her, and she hasn't stopped smiling since.

"Train 564, red line, heading towards Audrella Spring Gardens, now boarding."

The steam train, very traditional in nature, rolled up to the platform. The conductor came out, opening the doors to let its passengers walk out.

"All aboard!" The conductor called out, after clearing the train.

After getting on, the couple made their way to their room. Sliding the door open, they both walked inside. To the left, there were bunk beds made nicely and a ladder leading up to the top bunk. To the right, there was a corner leather bench and a long, 4 foot table. Odeda smiled warmly and put her suitcase on the side of the bottom bunk.

"Dibs!" she cheered, flopping on the bed.

Constantine nodded, returning her smile. "Well I certainly wasn't going to ask you to climb."

Odeda laid down. "Do you mind if I lay down and rest a bit?" She asked him.

He nodded. "Take all the rest you need."

xoxo

Odeda's eyes fluttered open as she woke. Still a bit foggy, she peered through her sleepy eyelids to survey her surroundings. The golden light from the window trickled in, illuminating the room. It shun light on the floor, and onto the long wooden table. Though the shadowed wall next to it blocked some of the light, the light reached to a few of the paintings on the walls. It spilled on the leather bench where Constantine was sitting. Her husband was holding a book, relaxed and resting his head in his other hand. He leaned up against the wall in the corner bench. The light hit his soft auburn hair, making it glimmer and kissing his golden cheeks. He was a very beautiful man, she thought, bringing a smile to her face. Finally she yawned and stretched and sat up.

"Have a nice nap?" He asked, glancing slightly up at her.

"Yeah it was good." She affirmed, sitting up and swinging her legs around. Odeda got up and made her way to the bench next to him.

"I could tell, you were snoring quite loudly." He chuckled, turning the page.

"Yeah yeah." She smirked, waving him off. She reached down to her leather laptop bag and pulled out it out. "Whatcha reading?"

"Ah, a book that uh, Harry recommended to me at the beginning of this year. A theological book."

Odeda nodded, the name still giving her a slight pain through her chest. She chose however, not to dwell on it.

"What's it about?"

"It's about God the Father, and his attributes. Currently reading about His love."

She nodded again, waiting for the laptop to boot up. "Is it good?"

"Oh it's fantastic." He softly smiled. "Very convicting and comforting."

"That's really nice to hear." She said, putting in her password.

A few moments of silent lingered between the two. Odeda felt a bit of sadness begin to loom, and she shifted a bit in her seat. She brought up her book, and continued to type away. However, every few sentences her gaze went from her computer to her husband. She noticed he was reading much more slowly, or so she had thought.

"You know, Harry had great recommendations. Books, games, shows you name it. He was knowledgeable about them too."

"I know I heard you guys till 1 in the morning talking about Pelego the Porcupine." She smirked.

Constantine nodded slowly, a bit solemn. His smile dropped as she noticed he stopped reading, just staring at the page now.

Odeda let the silence linger a bit, memories flashing back in her mind. It was just another day; sunny, not a cloud in the sky. It was a few days since they had heard from Harry, but she reassured her husband he was taking some kind of break. Oh, how she wished she was right. That day, A friend from church was visiting and had just left. Then she got the call, from her husband himself. His voice was shaking, slowly telling her the news.

They found him. No breath, no pulse, and alone.

Constantine was impacted the most out of the two of them. Their friend was his best friend. The sobs she heard in the following days was something she could never forget. The pain in his eyes, his hollowed footsteps and sleepless nights overtook him.

Her pain couldn't even touch his, but she struggled right next to her husband. Maybe it was the fact of how he died, but nevertheless, she couldn't focus on anything the following days. There were multiple times Odeda just broke down alone in her car. She didn't want to burden him with her grief, of course. Despite having a therapist, she couldn't help but take the brunt of it. She had a million unanswered questions. Haunting questions that will hang like ghosts in her closet, and baggage in her heart.

Why did he do it? Why didn't he call someone? Why didn't he get help?

Odeda would've dropped everything to save his life. Could she have done something? Something more? Tell him she loved him more? Be more involved in conversations with him? She clenched her jaw, feeling a tear brim her eye. Despite living a few hours away, Odeda was sure that even if he had any inkling of struggle, she would be the first to risk a speeding ticket just to show up at his doorstep, if it meant he would still be here today. Constantine would do even more. Odeda knew that her husband would even take his place and sacrifice everything to save his friend's life.

Taking a deep breath, she looked over to her husband. Constantine had put the book down, and was now staring off into space. A few tears had escaped from his eyes as well, but remained perfectly still. Odeda scooted closer to him, and put her head on his shoulder, linking her arms through his. She closed her eyes, sighed, and silently prayed. There were no words needed; she had already said everything she needed in the last few months. Now, she will grieve with him in silence. It was comforting; to know someone was there, hurting with them. The gesture was whispering, "I'm here, it's okay, you're safe." without a word being spoken. He didn't have to say a thing; she knew it was all that was needed in the moment. A grief shared meant the absence of suffering alone.

That following night, as they said their "I love yous" and goodnights", she waiting until she could hear soft snores from on top of her. Her mind still resonated on Harry. She reflected on the remembrance service, surrounded by friends and family. Odeda remembered looking around. Hundreds of people there, but not one could do anything about it except wish they had the power to rewind time and make sure they finished the race together. Not a dry eye left that day. But a willingness to live, did.

xoxo

[oh-katsuki]

Oh this looks so fun! Bakugou + damsel in distress. He's the damsel lol.

weeeee thanks for playing!!! i hope you don't mind that i made this sfw!!!

cw: canon typical violence, husband!bakugou, you and katsuki have a kid, we're calling kasuki 'princess', also we call katuski 'papa' once and 'daddy' once but both in nonsexual contexts

sometimes, patrol goes wrong. what is normally his average patrol around the city, becomes an all-out brawl as he encounters something or someone he was not meant to. katsuki, at this point, is used to it.

what makes today different though, as he propels himself above debris to get a better glimpse at the villain in front of him, is that he is deeply exhausted and fighting alone. it's his first week back at work after becoming a father, having taken several months off in order to spend time with you and your child. he's a little rusty. that's katsuki's excuse as of now.

when he is not working patrol, he's at home taking care of his now four-month-old daughter. she's a riot, but not quite like him. katsuki would describe her as being more like you, with your mannerisms and easy temperament. usually, she's not all too fussy, but these past few weeks, she's been starting to reverse cycle. you and katsuki are currently doing all you can to keep that from happening.

of course, you're there to help him too. it eases the burden, but you've both returned back to work to a degree. not full-time, but on alternating days. katsuki works on monday, wednesday, friday, and sunday, while you work on tuesday and thursday. saturday is both of your days off and you both strive to make the day a family affair, even if that affair is just napping simultaneously in the same room.

all of this to say, katsuki is off his game, distracted by his perfect daughter and spouse at home, and it shows. he's making rookie mistakes. ones that an experienced, 30-something-year-old hero shouldn't be making. katsuki can't even get a read on what this guy's quirk is.

the villain seems to be lifting debris (either quirk-created or found) and holding it for a moment, before throwing it at katsuki. immediately after throwing the debris, the villain seems to vanish and reappear elsewhere between 10-20 feet from his original place. katsuki supposes the trigger is the weight loaded from picking up the debris, but he can't get the specifics down, and whenever he does take a moment to try and consider it, the villain gets the upper hand and nearly squashes him under a piece of cement.

don't get him wrong here, this is not your average petty villain. katsuki suspects, from the location of this attack to the sigil on the villain's lapel, that this person is part of a larger syndicate that his agency has been researching. but that also means that katsuki needs to take him alive and he can't seem to get close enough to apprehend him. katsuki figures that he'll do this the direct way.

in a moment, katsuki is leaping toward the villain with his palms outstretched. he plans to go through the debris the villain sends his way. if he hesitates, the villain will appear in a new spot and he'll have to restart. his adversary is larger than him, taller and wider (most likely due to his quirk). it's not ideal, as fights based on hand-to-hand brute strength have always been yours and deku's realm, but katsuki thinks he can handle that should it come down to it.

two things happen at once. the villain loads debris larger than the others he's loaded before as katsuki simultaneously fires his quirk at him. it's not enough and a slab of concrete hits him in the chest, sending him flying backward into the wall behind him.

he spends a second trying to get oriented, inhaling deeply as he pulls air back into his lungs. katsuki's back aches and by the time he raises his head, there is another large chunk of concrete hurling towards the air at him. katsuki twists his body to push off of the wall behind him, but before he can, the debris in the air crumbles with a dull thud, like it's been met with another piece of concrete.

"you good, princess?"

katsuki recognizes your voice immediately and when he lifts his head up, you've got your hand outstretched to help him up. behind you, he can hear the sound of other heroes shouting as they apprehend the suspect, but he can't determine who is engaged with the villain, a little disoriented that the fight ended just as it was getting interesting.

it's strange, but it's like there is this halo-like glow around you as you offer your hand to him. katsuki thinks for a moment that you look a lot like izuku, save for the capris pants and oversized sweater. heroic even in your plain clothes.

he blinks for a second before taking your hand and standing up.

"i had it," he huffs and you laugh a little, wiping the small beads of sweat off of your forehead.

"sure," you exhale a little.

"why are you here? where's the kid?" he asks, a bit more concerned.

"in the coffee shop around the corner," you shrug.

"you left our kid with hanazaki again? you know, just because she's your friend, doesn't mean that you can just hand our baby off to her when she's working."

"well, i didn't plan to do that," you huff a little. "we came out for a walk to see daddy on his patrol route and came across you getting your ass beat all by yourself. can't believe they didn't have any support for you. and also yes i can. she was in my wedding party katsuki. besides, she seemed pretty thrilled to see little kura."

"i was not getting my ass beat," he says, lightly indignant. "i would have been fine."

you smile at him a little. "i know, but i didn't want to see you get hurt anymore."

he softens a little, shoulders slumping. "yeah, okay. thank you."

"doooon't mention it," you grin, giving him a signature sly smile. "damn, look at your face. we'll have to patch you up when you get home."

"i can just get some treatment back at the agency," he says, rolling his eyes.

you cup his face in your hands, turning his head from side to side. "nope, i think you're so injured that you've got to come home early."

"fat chance," he scoffs a little. "i've gotta deal with the paperwork for this. plus, i'm off in a few hours anyway."

you pout, crossing your arms over your chest. "unfair."

"shouldn't you go get kura?"

you narrow your eyes a little at him. "you're definitely right, i probably should."

"i know i am," he laughs a little, smiling at you.

"please get some treatment for those injuries if you're not gonna let me patch you up though," you point at him. "you'll freak baby out if you come home like that."

"you kidding? baby's tough as hell. she's got me for a papa," he puffs his chest out a little, wincing at the sure bruise forming there.

you roll your eyes. "whatever you say, princess."

"princess," katsuki scoffs at his new nickname, leaning in to kiss you quickly. "go get her. she's probably trying to blow up poor hanazaki as we speak."

"okay," you sigh, starting to walk down the street, "see you at home, papa." you beam at him, walking backwards.

"yeah, yeah," he waves his hand. "see you later."

katsuki can feel the tips of his ears glow pink.

[cirqosmos]

MORE BLOOD

2023 | 13+ | 1.4k | COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES × ENHYPEN

GENRE reverse harem, vampire! enha

WARNING nothing :3

AUTHOR'S NOTE I know I know don't come at me, it's just a short story to celebrate 600 followers! And partly bcs I'm dying to write one 😭😭 thank you sm for reading all my stories and all those kind words and encouragement it truly matters to me and that I truly appreciate it!! I suck at words LOL ok let's not say such self deprecating words but ily folks :3

"This way, miss." snapped out from your deep thoughts when the maid in their formal attire led you to the deep , dark hallways in which the dark red carpet stood out to you the most; it was red for sure, however as you observed the intricate patterns below your shoes—tiny spots of deeper shade of red splattered all across the long, long hall.

"U-uhm? Hey.." the maid had her head slightly tilted at you, "Where are we going?"

"To the masters." she replied in a serious death tone, a stark contrast to when she greeted you in front of the mansion's porch.

Eerie, you thought—however are you seriously having a second thought after signing up for the maid contract in a suspicious, isolated mansion of who the god knows who they belong to? Probably, an old man with an overstretched moustache with his old suit, or maybe an old maiden who prefers to stay isolated in the mansion given to her by her wealthy parents, or a dozen more reasons your wearied mind couldn't put themselves into.

A large main door spreads open before you and the luminous light peeking from the glass windows hits your line of sight, pulling your hands up to your eyes quickly. Rubbing your eyes, your sight were met with a few strangers—young men scattered all over the place

Something you particularly notice was the main desk with scattered papers on top of them, piles of books on the smooth floor, all round you stood a colossal collections of books—resembling a library however it was akin to being consumed by a man-eating monster.

"Young master, we brought your special dinner for today."

"I'm—huh?" Before you could say anything, the door slammed right to your face.

"Hm? Are you an A+?" A red haired young man suddenly were before your very eyes, you were dead sure he was standing a few metres away from you just now.

Your eyes widening frantically upon the strange question, his fanning breath over your face had goosebumps riled through your skin. "F-fuck what?"

Loosen ties hanging down to their white shirts underneath their black jackets, icy pale skin and intense gazes looming over you with orbs that screams those that belong to monsters.

"Tsk, manners, Sunoo!" Puppy-like eyes softening your heart yet the golden crimson orbs of his had your stomach churning. Collars pulled up, red tie and strings of bracelet round his wrists. He exudes downright cockiness and somewhat flirty as his tongue laps on his lower lip, eyes never faltering from you. He took your hands onto his lips, pressing a sweet kiss on it much to your dropping jaw. "Forgive us, young lady. My name's Jake, what's yours—"

"Fuck, we're no longer in the 18th century, goddamn Jake. Quit that act."

A long groan escapes from the blonde haired boy, or Jake as they call it. "And why should I listen to you? Last time I check, none of the maidens look at your way because of your cold ass demeanour."

"You say that again!"

"S-stop, why are you all so noisy." Sunoo whined as he sticks his fingers inside his ear.

A barrage of ruckus from the two man had you silently pulling the door behind you in hopes to escape yet it to your utter disappointment, a hand slams it back right to your eyes. You look up in fear for this young man with faint blonde highlights on his bangs looking down at you with downright contempt. Intimidating he was, it was as if he was eating you with his intense red orbs.

"Where do you think you're going, human?"

Gulping a huge saliva down your throat, "W-w-what are you gonna do, huh?! You think you're so brave for doing this, what—" you widened your trance as if you were a sumo, slamming your hand on the man before you. "K-kill me? Bitch? I'll haunt you if you kill me!—"

"Pffft! She's funny—" a light hearted laughter came out from the young man emitting princely like vibes from the window, you couldn't make out much from his face as the luminous sky behind him overshadowed his form. "I like her."

You couldn't move an inch as the man started to approached you—the beauty mark on his nose and his more defined fangs coming into view as he smirk down at you, "I didn't know our dinner got a feisty mouth. Tsk, I don't mind though. What if you stay here and be our little toy instead?"

"Toy?! Little t-toy?!" You let out a scoff of annoyance yet you know this is was only an attempt to stop yourself from shivering, "Hellooo?! if this is the place where I'm going to work then sorry, I don't have time for this bullshit—"

"Chill, everyone! At least we could give her a little dose of kindness before we sent her away, yeah? Won't hurt to show a bit of kindness, Ni-ki." says the red haired young man with foxy eyes and orbs resembling the shade of his hair, utterly gorgeous he was as he gave you a sugary smile. The sleeves of his coat were folded up revealing his arms wrapped in bandage. "What's your name, sweet one?"

"Huh? Treating a human with kindness? What's that even?" Ni-ki, the tall young man who stood behind your back spun you around, leaning closer as his harsh gaze filled with utter contempt, "You're not even close to our level, peasant."

Sunoo rolled his eyes to the back of his head, "There's no hope for you, Ni-ki."

Clenching your trembling fists as you let out a hiss of annoyance, you pushed him over making him stumble backwards and pushing the door opened, sprinting for your goddamn life.

You took one last look over your shoulder only to wholly regret it as their monstrous orbs stayed fixated on you, you knew they could easily get you then and there but you still tried taking all your might to get away from that devil's place, going as farther as you can in these never-ending hall. Taking endless turns when a large double doors appeared on the end, light peeking through the glasses giving you a hope for freedom.

A sigh of relief escapes your mouth as you pushed the door open but greeny bushes surrounding the area, a gazebo and a fountain a few metres away greets your sight. You realised you were at the garden of the mansion much to your downright disappointment.

Grey misty fog blots out the entire garden as you slowly bring yourself to the pathway trying to find for an exit. Yet, you felt like you were going into an endless loop of maze, your energy only depleting as you panted relentlessly. Beads of sweat trailing down your jaw from your forehead.

"Exit, exit.. where is it?!" You frantically roamed around the garden, as the thought of any chance of survival would vanish into air if they suddenly appear out of nowhere.

A harsh tug on your cardigan had you stumbled backwards on someone's chest, looking up only to dark red orbs resembling a cat; jet black mullet, black web chokers on his neck as red lips pulling up to reveal those fangs.

Your breathe were caught up in the back of your throat, his cold ice fingers caressing your face and tucking the strands of your hair in the back of your ear only accelerated your already rampant heart.

"You smell so good.." breathing in, feline eyes gleaming into something you couldn't fathom. Your heart dropping in immense fear as you immediately pushed him away from you. The warmth of his chest gone from your arms.

"C-creep! Stay away!" You shouted right at his face.

You spun around to the direction back to the mansion, however another one stood before you; grey lush hair, tall frame and dark blue tie hanging loose on his white shirt, his hands in his pockets.

"Who the fuck are you again?! S-stay away— or else!—"

"Hm, you look pretty." his golden crimson orbs a few inches away from you, as you were slammed right to his chest. "Would you let us keep you, little one?"

"Yoi, wouldn't that be too selfish of you, brother?" another arm sneaks into your waist, pulling your back to his warmth chest. His voice near your ears sending shivers down to your spine, "Right, kitten?"

"Let me go you bitch!—"

A soft blow to your face had you letting out a tiny yelp, "Sure, why not?"

Multiple hands suddenly snaps right before your eyes, harsh tug all over your arm pulling you different directions. Golden crimson and dark red orbs gleaming around you under this heavy misty fog, shutting your eyes tight with a series of harsh cries of pain escaping from your lips as you felt this burning sensation of something sharp sinking right to your neck, arm and shoulder.

"Your blood belongs to us."

© sweetpieceofnightmarez [2.22.2023] don't repost or plagiarize.

[blizzardsuplex]

Hi, love your work! Adam Cole/ MJF

Serial Killer

Mjf wanting revenge on Adam for what he did to him at worlds end.

Hello there! Thank you for saying so. :) Also, I'm sorry; I may have reverse Uno'd your prompt because you didn't specify which one of them would be the serial killer LOL

Outside, dawn's long broken; the lid on the dumpster he's been thrown into had been shut poorly, left open by an inch or two. For however long he's regained awareness of the states of light and dark, he's sensed the shift from night to well into the day, the first sunshine of 2024 bright enough to burn his eyes.

Let it burn, he thinks to himself as he meets the flood of stark white unblinking—the first coherent thought he's had today, and indeed the first thought he's had since the events of last night, period, that isn't oh fuck, oh God, it hurts; I hurt; they hurt me real bad; he hurt me; why why why why why? Let it burn useless eyes who couldn't see the signs that he fell in love with a goddamned—

—he can't say it, not even in an internal monologue that's being fueled more and more by anger with each passing second. Instead, he thinks (mind beginning to really come back to life) of long dark hair and a slender frame, bright blue eyes and a cupid's bow. He thinks of words and more words dripping from that clever tongue: You're all I need and fuck, you're perfect; we're perfect and God, Max, I love you. Sometimes I feel I've been waiting for you all my life. 

Was that really all a lie to leave him for dead? After all, he'd said those things again and again; could anyone who wasn't a heartless mastermind say that for months on end without meaning it at least once or twice?

And, of course, he's still alive.

He probably should've taken his continued existence on Earth as a boon, a blessing, a miracle. Max can't help but consider it this nightmare's greatest injustice instead: either his would-be killers were horrifyingly incompetent at actually killing—in which case, what did that say about him that he fell right into their hands?—or something, someone, prevented it, one last parting gift before the cutting blow. I love you.

(That was a good sign. If Adam had a heart, that means Max has something to hold onto at the end of the warpath he's going to rage, something to tear out of the other and wring for every bit of blood and pain that shriveled organ was worth.) For now, though, the scream of rage Max lets out as he shoves the dumpster lid open, rising from the refuse like some urban phoenix, tears through his chest instead.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Chromosomes

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i bring excellent newssss Rowling: i have received word that a very prominent horror writer might be Rowling: amenable Rowling: to our Rowling: Rowling: well i don't want to ssay hate group

Kathleen Stock: an actual horror writer? Rowling: yess Stock: this will be a great addition to our team of failed lawyers, disgraced academics, unknown cartoonists and divorced guys Stock: finally people will take us seriously!

Rowling: yess an actual horror writer Stock: i can't believe you finally got a midnight society convert! after all these years! Stock: please say its roald dahl Stock: i have so much i need to ask him! Stock: [sweats] i need Stock: i need to know where i can get some of that gum

[meanwhile] Whitley Strieber: hi everyone welcome to dreamland Strieber: the podcast that asks the questions the Bilderberg illuminati reverse vampires don’t want you to know Strieber: today we're looking at trans people Strieber: and what they're doing to the soil

Strieber: so anyway women are defined by chromosomes that's a fact King: Koontz: Poe: Barker: Barker: whitley why are you talking about this Strieber: i just thought Strieber: i just thought you'd all want to hear my opinion

Strieber: i mean, everyone's talking about the trans Strieber: they're in all the newspapers Strieber: i thought it was the style to have hot takes about them King: Koontz: Poe: Barker: Barker: lol happy pride month everyone!

Strieber: anyway i have opinions on trans people Barker: didn't you get abducted by aliens once Strieber: i didn't say aliens, i just said mysterious beings Strieber: possibly from another dimension Strieber: i'm not a crazy person

[invisiblegarters]

"I know I'm like the one person who thinks so but come ON they can BOTH do the job stop giving it to just one." You are not the only one, I thought the exact same thing when I watched the trailer for the first time, like oh, so Khao's character gets an emotional story about grief and family and First gets... a character that can talk to cats, okay.

Listen, I love them together, I truly do, but I am tired, and I can't help but think First would be better off without a fixed CP. But I also don't get it because, as you said, The Eclipse exists! They could very much both have emotionally compelling stories, and I don't understand why First doesn't get them.

Aside for that fact, it irritates me how I barely see any FK fan bringing this up, you are supposed to care about both, do you really not see the pattern? Or you do but don't care ofc, which is what I suspect is happening.

Today was not a great day for me in general, and I actually cried a little from frustration because of this lol, I feel unwelcome in the FK fandom because I don't see anyone caring about this (and if someone says anything, they get shut down and accused of being a Khao anti, like what?) I feel so alone in this, and I end up not enjoying their shows because it's the only I can notice.

I guess the only thing I can do is move on tbh, because nothing is gonna change and the fandom also doesn't seem to want it to change, so…

Aw, non. I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. I hope things get better for you soon.

I am not blaming fans. Of course they don't notice or care; why would they? Their bias is getting the good stuff, so there's no reason for them to be upset. We only complain when we're dissatisfied with something, after all, and for most people this is only how it should be. And to be fair, I can't say with any certainty that I would care overmuch if the situation were reversed, although we might be hearing about how unfair it is a lot more. 🤣

I think part of it is that The Eclipse is based on a novel. I haven't read the novel yet but my guess is that Akk and Aye are both fully realized characters in a way that the OG stuff maybe...doesn't really even try to do, lol. We are lucky in that First is great and he can't help but make a flat, one dimensional character feel real and nuanced, but I'mma be frank, I've made the complaint before that his characters have been paper thin since The Eclipse. So because they've been doing OG stuff, we tend to get what the majority wants, and well...the majority wants Khaotung. He's the one who gets the awards, after all. He's the one fandom never stops talking about. It's not like they don't pay attention to what people respond to, you know? Hell, people have said it themselves, this show is exactly what the fandom wants. Khaotung to give the emotional resonance and First there to be pretty and provide emotional support. 🤷

It sucks, but I always seem to fall for the less popular ones, so I'm kinda used to it. Won't stop me getting irritated sometimes, but what can you do. Genuine advice, if you want it: find a like minded mutual or two that you can commiserate with, or even one who doesn't care at all about FK but is willing to let you let off a little steam. It really helps. But also get one that will tell you if the bitterness is getting too out of control, lol.

One other thing I will say is if this is making you that upset, maybe do quit for a while. It's not that serious, non...or at least it shouldn't be to us. The only person that it really impacts is First, and he seems to be one of those delightful people who is able to be happy with what he has even as he works hard to improve and challenge himself and earn those accolades that he hasn't gotten yet. Would that we could all have that mentality, but it's a rare one.

The world's not a fair place at all, but I have every confidence First's time will come.

[zippy-reacts]

Sonic the Comic Liveblog: Issue 94

I really like this cover art! I can't put my finger on it, but there's a certain je ne sais quoi about this art that really identifies it as belonging to a British comic.

Oh okay, cover art was by Elson, explains why I liked it then. Anyway, we see once again that the price of StC is being raised. I've said before I feel StC is expensive, especially in comparison to late 2000s era Beano, but I suppose when you compare it to something more comtemporary like IDW Sonic it's a good price? Then again, who knows how it stacks up when you account for inflation. Annnnnd final note about this image - I wonder if that sonic spinner toy works like a fidget spinner?

It might be because this is a whole different planet from Mobius, but it feels really odd that we're seeing like… Disney-esque dog humans as secondary and background characters rather than more traditional anthromorphic animals.

Anyway, professor dude turned into reverse colour scheme Hulk. They're not even hiding it, his name is literally Bulk.

Ah yes, Sonic's "spin really really fast to solve any problem" tactic! Haven't seen that one in a good few issues.

Lol that's some pretty good snark.

Hey, that's pretty close to my main blog's URL!

Hmm. Starting to get Totally Spies vibes.

Nice monochrome colouring! And it's pretty interesting to see Vector characterised as being smart in this way, even if the explaination does sound like it fits right in with Classic era Doctor Who lmao

A review of Fighting Vipers, and look, there's Honey! I bet this reviewer never would've guessed that character with later be connected to the Sonic series

Ooooooh! Did not expect to be introduced to Ebony and Pyjamas today! I am quite aware these two are fan-favourites. Btw, I'm loving that outfit Ebony is wearing, never seen art of her wearing anything modern and casual like that before.

Ok! I guess she can change her outfit instantly! But man, I can already see that people must've fallen in love with this character quickly, just this one panel is great show of personality.

You have my heart, Ms Ebony <3

I haven't really brought it up much, but for a good while by this point, StC has become more or less just a Sonic comic (jeez, who would imagine considering it's name). The only other Sega comics they do anymore is the occassional run of Decap Attack comics. I guess out of all of them this one must've been a favourite among readers.

I about to make a joke sugguesting Johnny's drink is alcoholic, but I wonder how old he actually is? Legal drinking age is 18 so he could potentially be old enough? But even if he wasn't, the UK is not exactly know for having teenagers who always follow drinking laws.

Gonna file this one under "sentences that sound a lot more racist if we weren't talking about animals"

It's kinda funny that Knuckles just like… randomly has a pet dinosaur now. …oh my god this issue is from 1997 so means Underground (released 1999) wasn't the first one to give him a dinosaur for no reason.

You know what mate? I'd be pissed off too.

A third of the back page which is otherwise dedicated to reminding you when the next issue releases? oh god yeah, such a waste of space. Totally unbelivable. 🙄

The word of a kid who probably also enjoys burning ants under a magnifying glass.

[iantimony]

hurricane-core twednesdaypost

I am in FL this week visiting my grandma! oopsie! disclaimer that I somehow managed to be in a teeny tiny window of No Hurricane At All which I am very grateful for so I am totally safe, it's not even raining where we are lol

listening: Cowboy Malfoy and Laufey type of jazzy chill music. my "I miss my boyfriend and I'm sad" playlist that I'm too self conscious to link.

reading: my torah portion for Saturday! I initially had the thought of like, well, my flight on Thursday back might get cancelled so I may not actually make it to temple to read … so I definitely didn't study as much as I should have, which may have been a weird reverse manifestation thingy, the universe going "well you're not prepared so now you'll definitely be home in time" typa beat. ah well I have time to cram

watching: saw "The Watchers" this evening with my grandma on hbo. I'm gonna be so real with y'all, this movie sucked. it was not good! I understand and like the vibes they were going for but the script was bad, the acting was stilted because of the bad script, the plot was not good, characters were not compelling, THE TWIST WAS NOT WHAT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN … spoilers, but the twist ABSOLUTELY should have been that the main character had been a changeling the whole time, not the old lady. which, like, maybe the point is that's what we're supposed to assume…? but they don't make it explicit which I think was a mistake because it just makes a lot of it feel out of place. I really loved the themes of twins/duality running through it that really just. carried zero weight ultimately. the redeeming factors of this film were the setting (which carried a lot of the cinematography, really atmospheric forest) and Olwen Fouéré who is extremely sexy. she is apparently largely a stage actress which makes a lot of sense, she really was the only one Acting acting which just made the underacting from Dakota Fanning so much flatter. mega nepo baby vibes from this (m night shyamalan's daughter), though I guess I could be nicer because she's my age and I doubt I could do a better job. shrug.

spent a large part of today watching Ryan Hall on youtube tracking the hurricane progress.

playing: fallow :-( I miss minecraft.

making: also fallow oughhhhh. I Miss My Apartment And Craft Table !!! I've started crocheting another grocery bag which I guess is SOMETHING but ugh.

eating: Deb smittenkitchen has done it again. I made her brisket recipe and honey cake for Rosh Hashanah last weekend. great success, I might toss some baby carrots in with the brisket next time, I feel like it needed more veg, but otherwise was perfect. I got to bring honey cake to my grandma who probably hasn't had any in like 50 years and she loved it :) I really want to try making her Russian honey cake recipe but I didn't have the time or energy this year. I also picked up some "goldee" apples on a whim from a local orchard farmstand and they are soooooooo good 10/10.

misc: by some miracle I should be able to catch my scheduled flight despite mr milton, please everyone think affirming thoughts really really hard at [airport redacted] to keep it all moving tomorrow.

[mushibashiraas]

mom and i had a bad day at work yesterday and today. she's coping with a british crime drama, coffee, and a donut. i'm coping with my own two donuts (for ruggie lol) and two-way ruggie [reverse] comfort. plus, i know maybe yall are either finishing ur finals or starting ur finals and figure yall could use some comfort ruggie as well.

gn!yuu. might be a bit specific?? i'm a bit attached to ruggie plus he'd be one of the best twst charas at cuddles imo.

another day. another slew of chores from leona done.

normally the extra lunch or spare change found in the lion's pants pockets would've made up for the long hours spent running across campus. but no amount of fresh, hot donuts could make up for the long line at sam's buying up all the good, cheap detergent, the mountains of fresh, "we're back from break" assignments, and some back talk from some burly, ignorant, disrespectful freshmen. and to make matters worse? too many absences from spelldrive club leading to the first practice of the new year being cancelled.

so instead of zipping through the skies on his broom throwing magic spells and practicing his coordination, ruggie drags his feet through the savanaclaw mirror up before heading straight for his dorm room—

"ruggie? you're back early. what happened to spelldrive practice?"

what's the prefect doing here? he thought they'd be off with the two heartslabyul numbskulls chasing after grim or something.

dodging their question, he asked them, "to what do i owe the ramshackle prefect's presence? shouldn't you be burning the queen of hearts statue or chasing after the three stooges and their clumsily-thrown spells? shishishishi!"

they huffed, flopping down onto ruggie's bed returning to their pushed-aside notes.

reading the room, the hyena ran a shaky hand through his sandy hair. he grumbled and shuffled over to their side, "okay. okay. if you must know, leona-san cancelled practice today because some of the beastfolk ran into some trouble with the mirror and haven't made it back to nrc yet." grim's babysitter gave him the side eye making him squirm. he wasn't used to spilling his guts but considering all the help they gave him with chores and school.... he supposed it was all enough to return the favor. ".....and i couldn't finish leona-san's laundry today. sam was out of stock for once of the cheap stuff. on the way back, i ran into some of the dumber beastfolk. could've made it out of there but they were bigger and stronger. one of them used a spell to cancel my unique magic and... well.... yeah...." he refused to look at the magicless student, knowing they stopped their studying to give him their full attention. "and i still have today's homework to do too." by now ruggie was pouting. even his ears were drooping.

they hated seeing him look so small. normally he's the one taunting them and teasing them. trying to pull them out of their funky mood, sleepy mood. constantly reassuring them that things'll work themselves out and to just keep plugging away at their problems until they do. "don't give up. my grandmother always said when someone closes one door, another will open up instead," he'd remind them.

so, instead of teasing ruggie or replying with some snarky comment, the head of ramshackle dorm reached over and gave ruggie's cheeks a good pinch. softly, they said, "laugh with me." they watched his eyes go wide, his ears shoot straight up. ignoring his babblings and a barely comprehensible "what are you doing?" they continued. "you're the one always telling me that each day is completely different from each other and unpredictable. why should today and tomorrow be any different?"

letting go of his cheeks, they sat up and leaned over the beastman's bed into their bag. "i was gonna save these for the next time i had to bribe you or leona." ruggie's ears and nose twitched. "but i think we both need them now. don't you think so? i also have a few hot cocoa mix packets here that i sneaked out of the heartslabyul dorm kitchens. what do you say we go downstairs and make ourselves a cup of cocoa to have with these donuts?"

"i knew making those deals with you in the fall were a good idea, cub!" he softly snickered to himself still too drained to laugh properly. "let's go..... after we cuddle and you spill why you're so glum too. shishishi!" ruggie stood up and tackled his favorite cuddle buddy onto his bed after taking and putting down their box of donuts.

[vro0m]

vro0m's rewatch - 169/332

2016 Bahrain GP

Okayyy so Lewis is on pole again. His time is the record for the track. Then he was reprimanded for reversing in the pitlane, he had to go to the stewards about it and we thought for a moment he might lose the pole. 

But he didn't!

The quali process is still being revised after the Australian fiasco. I have no idea what it looked like there. The proposal for the next race is absurd. Apparently they want to add up the best 2 lap times for some reason, then eliminate 7 drivers per session and the Q3 would set the top 8? Ridiculous. Bernie is being an asshole about it btw. Journalists are asking him questions like "why can't we go back to last year's system?" and his answer is "well because we've changed it haven't we?"

Ted says that the aggregate system (so what I've just described) is the only proposal on the table at that point because the hybrid system that basically would be new system for Q1 + Q2 and old system for Q3 is vetoed by Horner/RedBull. 

Johnny Herbert interviews Lewis on the drivers’ truck. He says he had to work for his pole and Lewis says he always does.

He's happy with it though. Johnny asks who he's listening to and it's Travis Scott. Johnny asks if he has some of his own music on there and Lewis says loads, but refuses to give us a listen.

Johnny asks if he's concerned about the challenge the Ferraris pose. Lewis says he doesn't get concerned. They're very conscious of their pace and that they're gonna be quick. It's gonna be tricky. It's important to first get off the line well and then take it from there. 

Well let's hope they get a better start than in the first round. 

Oh but it was very close. Nico was only 0.077 seconds off Lewis. Anyway behind them it's Seb, obvi, Raikkonen, obvi, then Daniel, Valtteri, Massa, Hulkenberg, Grosjean, and Verstappen.

Oh. Alonso is not racing today. He was not cleared to run by the FIA doctor because he fractured ribs in his crash in Australia. OH AND HE ALSO HAS A COLLAPSED LUNG. How the fuck did he seem okay in the postrace?! Lol apparently Johnny suggested it might be time for him to retire and I can't believe he's still there 7 years later. Anyway Alonso is replaced by Stoffel Vandoorne. 

Uhh Lewis arrived dressed like a Bahraini today.

Anyway, there's an interview. He's asked what he needs to drive a car fast. He says he was fearless and his dad put him in a car and he bombed it around the track. "And straight away I felt at home." He says in his first 5-10 laps he picked up the braking technique that he used his whole karting career. That's the motion that gives him the know-how of when to push and when he's going too fast or too slow towards the apex. He says it fascinates him how the mind works because they're looking so far ahead, planning like 100-200 metres ahead. He says it's not tunnel vision, he feels like he's seeing 180°, he says as he spreads his arms. "I can't see my hand right now, but somehow when I'm driving, all the sudden I can see there."

(i feel like they could've edited Johnny's sweaty armpits from it but well.)

ohhh all of a sudden the moment he said "it's like targeting with a gun" in the last build up makes sense. Idk why they chose to only broadcast that part without the sentence he said before that. So he's testing the new car and he says, as he's driving : "there are things that I'm looking for. It's just like targeting… Like with a gun. You're targeting the turn points." He says last year he was struggling and was trying to figure out what was the issue and then he raised his seat 5 millimetres and it changed the whole world. What about breathing? Yes, if you get the breathing right it helps you flow through it. But that's not something he needs to focus on in the car, it comes naturally. "To be honest I don't even know if I'm breathing during the race." He says he feels he doesn't breathe during the start. We're back in the car with him. He says braking feels like having an elephant on your back or leaning against you. You kind of lose breath. Johnny says Hunt used to say if you have an over steering car you can always drive it fast, whether understeering cars are a pain. Lewis says he generally likes a car that's gonna turn. (I mean. Yeah.) Johnny brings it back to his debuts. He says he was very impressive with that when he first arrived. Lewis says now he has to bring it back a bit and find better balance whether before he didn't have to worry about the rear tyres dropping off as much. Now you can lean on your front tyres more but the rear are very delicate. He says he thinks the problem with racing now is that you've got all these driver coaches, mind coaches, "which is all a bunch of [beeped]". He says it's because of insecure people who think they need those things. "Some people need that, weirdly," Johnny says. "They don't," Lewis says. "You don't think so?" – "Nooo, you just get lost, you don't need it." (Honestly not agreeing with this conversation at all.) Anyway he says you just gotta trust yourself. He says people start listening to a bunch of noise around which is not the important stuff. The important stuff is the more detailed things.

Ohhh you know what. I thought I saw her in the last race, her familiar blond ponytail next to Lewis' car. But she had her back turned so I wasn't sure and I ended up scrapping it from my review. But this time I can see her clear as day. It's Angela!

I did not think about when we'd be meeting her, for some reason. I'm so happy to see her though! 

Okay. It's time for the race. Formation lap. Nico struggled to get away. Ohhhh no. Seb was going slowly. Over the radio he says he might have an engine failure. And right after we hear it, there's a cloud of white smoke following him. It's already over for him. 

And here we go! The others are racing!

And Nico gets a better start, he takes the lead. OH NO CONTACT INTO TURN ONE, VALTTERI AND LEWIS CAME TOGETHER. There's damage. Oh it's a catastrophic start. Fuck. So it's Nico, Massa, Valtteri, Ricciardo, Raikkonen, Grosjean, Gutierrez, Hulkenberg, Lewis is P9!, and Sainz. No, he's still losing places, I think. "Something feels wrong with the rear," he says. Oh here he comes! Gaining again! He's sending sparkles everywhere as he goes though. Valtteri says things feel fine for him. At the end of lap 1 Lewis is P7. OH MORE CONTACT ! Sainz and Perez. Sainz has a puncture. The Saubers are racing each other, pushing one off track. On lap 5 Lewis is up to P6. Meanwhile Raikkonen overtakes Ricciardo for P4. Lewis is on him as well. The car seems drivable enough. And Ricciardo pits. Lewis is P5 as Raikkonen overtakes Valtteri for P3. Again Lewis is right there as well. Closing. Ohhh Jenson is stopping. Away from the track so no interruption. And Massa pits, so Raikkonen in P2 while Lewis overtakes Valtteri for P3! Gorgeous classic move! They were side by side into the corner but Lewis had the inside line and ended up in front. But Nico is 13 seconds in the lead. Valtteri pits. It's weird. Everyone is pitting at different times. Valtteri gets a drive through penalty for the start.

And it's lap 10. Nico, Raikkonen (+13.4), Lewis (+15.8), Grosjean, Verstappen, Vandoorne, Kvyat, Wehrlein, Nasr, Ericsson. Verstappen and Hulkenberg almost collide as the first one rejoins after his pitstop. There's loads of carbon fibre on track flying everywhere and hitting tyres. And a lot of overtaking in the midfield as well. Right now Vandoorne and Perez are battling through several corners, and Vandoorne wins. Raikkonen pits. He exits behind Ricciardo and Massa as the first overtakes the other and immediately goes for it as well! It's close racing! But he's ahead. He's now hunting Ricciardo. Mercedes mechanics readying themselves. Rosberg pits. It's quick. And Lewis pits as well, wow! 2.4 stop! Great job! I can't immediately say what the order is but Lewis is P6. Raikkonen overtook both Ricciardo and Kvyat! Damn. There's a lot happening in this race! Lewis has a lot of places to make up for now. Perez, Valtteri and Hulkenberg are battling for P10! And Ricciardo overtakes Kvyat while simultaneously, right behind them, Lewis overtakes Massa! Everything is happening so fast that the standings screen can't keep up, Crofty says. Raikkonen is setting fastest lap after fastest lap. And Massa attacks Kvyat. Ooo that was close but it stays clean. Lewis is closing on Ricciardo. And that's P3! Grosjean and Massa are battling over P5. And now Verstappen is closing on Massa. 

Lap 20! Nico, Raikkonen (+12.1), Lewis(+20.8), Ricciardo, Grosjean, Verstappen, Massa, Vandoorne, Bottas, Ericsson. It's gonna be difficult changing the order of that top 3 but we're not even halfway through. Lewis is matching Raikkonen's lap times even though he's on mediums and Raikkonen is on softs so… Grosjean overtakes Ricciardo for P4. Then Ricciardo pits and he's P11. Soon after he's back up in P8. Verstappen pits from P5, out in P10. Grosjean pits from P4, out in P8 while Ricciardo overtakes Kvyat, or rather Kvyat lets Ricciardo past for P5. Lewis pits from P3. He's still P3. Daniel is now P4 while Raikkonen pits from P2 and is still P2 and Verstappen is already up in P8. 

It's lap 30. Nico pits. 5.3 stop, not great, but he's so far ahead anyway, it doesn't matter. Lewis sets the fastest lap. Sainz DNFs, back in the garage. I'm trying to give you an overview but they're not showing the timings. Grosjean is closing on Kvyat for P5. Okay here we go so Nico is now 8.8 ahead of Raikkonen who's 3.5 ahead of Lewis. Then about 25 seconds down it's Daniel and Kvyat, followed by Grosjean, Verstappen, Bottas, Vandoorne (who's doing a good job btw) and Massa. Grosjean overtakes Kvyat now. Oooh. Big lock up for Kvyat a few minutes later that allows Verstappen to overtake him as well. Big battle for P8 between Bottas, Vandoorne and Massa. But Bottas pits as well as Kvyat. Rosberg is lapping people, while Lewis' last lap is 0.5 slower than him. 20 laps to go. Raikkonen pits, which puts him behind Lewis but Lewis will have to stop again. Then Nico pits and all the commentators think it's Lewis so they briefly marvel when he comes out ahead of Raikkonen before they realise. 

It puts us on lap 40. Lewis is currently leading then, because he has to pit. Nico is 8 seconds behind him and Raikkonen 4 seconds further down. He'll definitely be out behind him. Then it's still Daniel, Grosjean, Verstappen, Massa, Kvyat, Vandoorne and Bottas. Grosjean pits again. 8.1, terrible stop. Lewis pits. 2.5. Nico sets the fastest lap while he exits the pitlane. He's far behind. They're all on the same tyre. As it seems clear Nico is gonna win this one, Crofty says only 7 other drivers have won 5 times in a row so far and all of them have won the title the season they did. Grosjean overtakes Massa for P6. Ricciardo is closing on Verstappen for P4. There's 10 laps to go. Max pits. He's out in P7, right in front of Bottas. At the front everything is boring btw. Nothing happening. Right as I wrote that Raikkonen's engineer tells him to not give up something might still go down. Bottas and Kvyat are battling for P8 and Kvyat wins. 5 laps to go. I'm bored. Verstappen overtakes Massa for P6. (Lewis is 20 seconds behind Nico btw). 

It's the end of the race. 

Nico wins ahead of Raikkonen and Lewis. They shake hands as they salute their team. It puts Nico 17 points ahead of Lewis in the standings. 

Nico says the key was his good start. Lewis says it's painful but damage limitation was OK and he got some points. He says the damage on the car meant he couldn't do more than that. He's asked like three or four questions when Nico got the one lol. He thanks everybody for the welcome there in Bahrain. 

Unfortunately the post race analysis is not available on my usual website anymore. Onto round 3 then.