#but this was my childhood - some of my favorite memories
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slipping through my fingers| JACK HUGHES





— ⟡ summary | in which y/n and Jake childhood best friends who've always had something there for each other. But once jack gets drafted everything changed for both of them.
— ⟡ warnings | none (that I know of)
— ⟡ word count | 17.8k (GUYS IM SORRY)
— ⟡ gabs note | hiii!!! im so excited to finally start writing again! I apologizer if this seems rushed. also this is EXTREMELY INACCURATE!!! please don't think this is literal, I don't know how some of these things work. also i apologize if this is cringe bc I CANNOT write romance for the life of me. I'm currently on spring break so I'll be trying to take advantage of being able to write a few things! if anyone wants to request or suggest anything don't hesitate to go into my inbox . i'll try to get to it and write it as soon as I can :) after spring break I may be a little inactive as i'm trying to lock in, in some of my classes before the semesters is over (ap econ and living earth are actually kicking my ass)
⟡ slipping through your fingers | jack hughes (jacks pov)

You've known Jack since you were kids. Backyard games of street hockey, summer nights spent on the lake, and watching him skate around with his brothers. you were always there. best friends through and through.
The first time you met Jack, you were about 10 years old. You had just moved into the neighborhood and the first thing you noticed was the street hockey that was happening right outside of your house. The kids from the neighborhood were scattered in every direction, sticks raised, yelling at each other. The one who caught your attention right away was the kid with the wild hair, darting around the group with such speed that it was almost impossible to keep up. He made it look effortless. He, of course, was jack.
You were lonely at first, standing awkwardly by the curb or watching the game through your bedroom window . Jack, always the curious one, had spotted you one day as you were sitting on the curb and skated over with a big grin.
"You gonna watch all day, or do you wanna join us?" he’d asked, not missing a beat, despite being out of breath. his eyes were full of that contagious energy.
You'd hesitated, feeling unsure. “I don’t know. I’m not really good at this... I’ve never really played before.”
"Come on! I’ll teach you," Jack insisted. "It’s easy, you just gotta push the puck this way, and then..." He demonstrated, sending the puck flying past you. "See? Just like that!"
It wasn’t perfect, but you tried. And Jack, always encouraging, cheered you on even as you missed the puck completely a few times. "Don’t worry. You’ll get it. It’s all about having fun."
From that moment on, you and Jack were inseparable. Summer after summer, it was the same routine. Jack, with his scruffy hair and infectious smile, would be the one to drag you out onto the street, even if you were just coming off a bad day at school or feeling a little down.
One of your favorite memories came when you were both about 12 years old. It was a hot, sticky summer afternoon. Jack, as usual, had the game already set up, calling the shots while the other neighborhood kids were pretending to be superstars in a game that felt far more like a chaotic free for all than a real match.
"You in or what?" Jack shouted, holding out a stick. “This game’s going nowhere without you.”
You rolled your eyes, already seeing the sweat dripping from his forehead, his shirt clinging to his back. "You know, I was just thinking about going inside and having a popsicle."
"Are you really gonna let me down like this?" Jack raised an eyebrow, grinning from ear to ear. “you promised you'd play after school."
"Fine," you said with a laugh, grabbing the stick. "But this time, I’m definitely winning."
You didn't win, at least not that day, but you had so much fun trying. Jack was so fast, his little tricks and turns keeping you on your toes, but every time he made a move, you were there to give it your best shot. You kept pushing him, running after the puck until the sun dipped below the horizon, and both of you were covered in dirt and sweat, laughing until your stomachs hurt.
That night, you sat side by side on the dock by the lake, feet dangling in the cool water as you two ate ice cream bars. The night was quiet except for the distant croak of frogs.
“You were so close to getting me,” Jack said between breaths, a playful edge to his voice. He tilted his head back to look at the sky. “You’ll get me next time. Just wait.”
You chuckled, watching him with a teasing smile. "Yeah, sure, Jack. Maybe when I’m 18 and you’ve forgotten how to skate."
Jack laughed loudly, nudging you with his elbow. “Not a chance. I’ll always be better. But hey, I can teach you some moves if you want.”
��Oh, I bet you would,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Teach me how to win, too?”
"Obviously," he said with a grin, though there was a genuine warmth in his eyes. “I’ll make you into a skating legend if that's what you want.”
You didn't know it then, but those summers spent with Jack would become some of the best memories of your life. Even when the seasons changed and the street hockey games moved indoors. Jack’s determination never left. You spent every Saturday watching him at the rink, your nose pressed against the cold glass as he glided across the ice, his stick flashing, eyes full of focus. He was good. Too good, in fact. And with every game, the crowd cheered louder with his dreams growing bigger.
⟡
By the time you and Jack hit your early teens, things start to feel different. It’s not obvious at first just a lingering glance here, a nervous laugh there. Jack’s still Jack competitive, loud, always pulling you into whatever chaos he’s creating. But sometimes, when his hand brushes against yours, or when he looks at you a second too long after you’ve made a joke, it feels like something is shifting beneath the surface. You notice it, even if you don’t understand it yet.
The way he seems to notice you more, how he’s always trying to catch your eye in a group conversation, how his voice drops just a little when he says your name. It’s subtle, and you try to ignore it. He’s your best friend, right? Nothing has changed between you two. You’re still the same, pulling pranks on each other, laughing at dumb things, challenging each other to stupid games on long summer afternoons.
But the moments keep building like when he reaches across the table to grab something and his fingers graze the back of your hand, leaving a warmth that lingers far longer than it should. Or when you catch him staring at you when you’re talking, and his expression shifts just a fraction of something unreadable there for a brief second before he masks it with a grin.
And then there are those times when the air feels too quiet. Like when you’re lying next to each other on the grass, watching the stars, and the silence stretches between you two in a way it never has before. It’s not comfortable anymore, this space. It’s heavy.
You’re 14 when you notice it for real. You’re both sitting on the dock, summer sun dipping low behind the trees, casting everything in a golden haze. Jack’s freshly showered from practice, hair still damp, the scent of soap and fresh air clinging to him. You’re half listening to him ramble on about a play he’s been trying to perfect, his words weaving in and out of the soft, distant hum of the lake’s waves against the dock.
But something in the air is different. It feels thicker. The kind of tension you get when you can’t tell whether the storm is coming, or if it’s already here and you’re just waiting for it to break. You can feel the weight of the evening sun on your skin, but your heart feels heavy, like it’s pounding against your ribs, a rhythm you’re trying to ignore.
“You’re not even listening,” he accuses, nudging you with his knee, and you startle, realizing you haven’t heard a word he’s said for the last few minutes.
“I’m listening,” you argue, even though you weren’t.
Jack raises an eyebrow, the smallest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “No, you’re not. You’ve been all quiet. What's up with you?”
You scoff, trying to brush it off. “Me? You’re the one who’s weird,” you tease, attempting to lighten the mood, but your words feel hollow, even to you.
He doesn’t laugh. Instead, he studies you, his expression more serious than usual. His gaze shifts from your face to your hands, and then back to your eyes like he’s trying to figure something out that you aren’t even aware of.
“Yeah, maybe.” He shrugs, leaning back on his elbows, staring out across the lake with a far-off look in his eyes. “Or maybe it’s just us.”
The words hang in the air heavy with meaning you don’t fully understand. You freeze trying to process what he’s said. It isn’t just the words, it's the way he said them. The tone in his voice is softer than usual almost uncertain. There’s something fragile in his eyes, like he’s letting a piece of himself slip past you hoping you’ll catch it, but not quite trusting you to. You don’t know how to respond.
You try to shake off the discomfort. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jack glances at you, his lips quivering at the edges, but there’s a heaviness in his gaze now. “I don’t know,” he mutters. “Just growing up.” He pauses, his voice quieter now almost too soft for the space between you two. He looks at you then, really looks at you his eyes searching for something in yours like he’s asking a question that doesn’t have an easy answer. Something you’re not ready to answer not sure you even can.
You want to say something to reach out and close that space but you can’t find the words. Everything that’s been building between you two feels like it’s teetering on the edge of something unspoken. And the closer Jack gets to this new world he’s creating for himself this future that’s already starting to pull him away from you the more it feels like you’re both standing on the precipice of it.
You don’t have an answer, so you reach over and grab his hand. It’s instinctual, a reflex more than anything else. His fingers slide easily between yours, like they’ve always belonged there. It’s familiar, comforting even. But there’s something different in the way he holds your hand this time. He doesn’t let go immediately like he always does. He holds on for just a moment longer, and in that brief pause, the weight of it hits you.
His gaze drops to your joined hands, and you see a flicker in his eyes something unreadable, maybe even a little vulnerable before he looks back up at you. The quiet between you two stretches longer than it should, and you’re not sure if it’s because of the summer air, or because of the uncertainty that’s silently wrapping itself around both of you.
“I think we’ll figure it out,” you say softly, trying to anchor this moment, even though the ground beneath you feels like it’s shifting.
Jack’s smile is small, unsure. It’s not his usual confident grin, but it’s there. Barely, but it’s there. He doesn’t let go of your hand. Not yet.
You don’t know what “figuring it out” means, or if you even can figure it out. All you know is that in this moment, with the sun setting behind the trees and the sound of water lapping against the dock beneath you, everything feels poised on the edge of something you don’t understand.
But you’re scared that the moment you try to reach for it, Jack might pull away.
⟡
It’s late, the fire has burned down to a few glowing embers, and the crickets are the only sound beside the occasional splash of water against the dock. You’re sitting with Jack, your legs hanging over the side, toes brushing the cool surface of the lake. The night is quiet, almost too quiet, and for the first time in a long time, there’s a distance between you that wasn’t there before.
Jack’s usually carefree, his humor quick, his energy contagious. But tonight, he’s different. He’s quieter, eyes lost somewhere beyond the horizon. You’ve known him long enough to know when something’s off.
"Jack, you okay?" you ask, not pushing, just asking.
"Do you ever feel like things are changing?" His voice is low, almost hesitant, and you turn to look at him, your heart skipping a beat.
You nod slowly, sensing that this conversation is heading somewhere you’ve both been avoiding for too long. "Yeah, I’ve been feeling it." You pause, meeting his eyes, and for the first time, you really see him. His face, the way his eyes linger on you, the way his lips part like he’s about to say something more. It’s all so familiar, and yet, everything feels new. "It’s been hard to ignore."
Jack exhales sharply, as if he’s been holding his breath. He leans back, letting his head rest against the wood of the dock, looking up at the stars above. "I’ve been trying to figure it out. For a while now. What’s going on between us."
You swallow, the weight of his words settling in your chest. Your voice is barely a whisper when you respond. "What do you mean?"
Jack doesn’t look at you right away, but you see his jaw tense, like he’s trying to gather his thoughts. Finally, he glances over at you, his gaze intense. "I think I’ve been avoiding it. The way things have felt. I’ve always known you meant a lot to me. But it’s more than that now. And I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel it."
Your heart races. This isn’t just a fleeting moment, this is him, telling you exactly what you’ve been feeling. Your stomach flips as the words finally hit you.
"I’ve been feeling it too," you admit, your voice steady but your pulse thundering in your ears. "It’s different now, Jack. And I can’t pretend it’s not."
There’s a long silence between you two as the words settle in the space around you. You both know it’s out there now the truth that neither of you could avoid forever. The air feels thick, charged with everything you’ve been holding back.
Jack’s gaze softens as he turns fully toward you. He reaches out, his hand brushing against yours. "I’ve tried not to think about it, but it’s impossible," he admits, his thumb tracing along the back of your hand. "I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the way, I stopped thinking of you as just my best friend. And now I don’t know how to go back."
You feel your breath catch in your throat. This is it. The thing you’ve both been dancing around for so long, the thing neither of you knew how to say. But now, here it is, raw and real.
"I don’t want to go back," you say, your voice soft but certain. "I’ve felt the same way, Jack. For a while now."
"You know, I keep thinking back to when we were kids," he says quietly, almost as if he’s talking to himself. "Back when things were simpler. We used to hang out, play hockey, talk about everything and nothing. I always thought that was enough."
You smile, remembering those simpler times. "It was enough. It still is."
Jack laughs under his breath, but there’s something different in it. "Yeah. But now... I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about how things feel between us lately. And I don’t know how to handle it."
Your heart picks up a little pace, and you look at him, feeling a shift in the air between you two. It’s subtle, but it's there. His eyes are locked on you now, and the usual teasing glint is gone.
"I think I’ve known for a while," you admit, voice barely above a whisper. "That things have changed. That maybe… we’ve changed."
Jack’s gaze softens, and for a second, everything feels like it’s falling into place, like the puzzle pieces are finally lining up. "I’ve been thinking about it too," he says, his voice low. "And I don’t know if I’m ready for this to be weird between us. I don’t want it to be weird."
Your stomach flips at the vulnerability in his voice. "I don’t think it has to be. It doesn’t have to be weird, Jack."
He looks at you for a long moment, and you can tell he’s weighing his next words carefully. He reaches over, brushing a strand of hair from your face, and that simple touch feels like the universe’s nudge, reminding you that things have always been easy with him. There’s no pretending with Jack. There’s never been any pretending.
"I guess we’ve always been able to figure things out," Jack says, his voice steady now. "And maybe this is just… one of those times."
You nod, your chest tight as you try to put into words what you’ve been feeling for so long. But nothing really needs to be said. This moment, this quiet understanding between you two, is enough.
Jack leans in just a little, close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating from him, but not enough to cross the final line. His gaze flickers between your eyes, lingering on your lips before returning to your eyes again, as if he’s waiting for something. The space between you both seems impossibly small, charged with everything that’s unsaid.
You can’t deny it anymore the way your heart races in your chest, the way your breath feels shallow, as if you’ve been holding it in all this time. This moment, this change between you, feels like it could either break everything or put it all back together.
His hand hovers just inches from yours, like he’s unsure whether to close the distance, like he’s waiting for you to decide. The air is thick with the weight of it. You’ve both danced around this for so long, carefully, quietly, but now it feels like everything is teetering on the edge. One move, one step, and it’ll change everything.
“You’re not nervous, are you?” Jack’s voice is almost a whisper, his usual teasing gone. There’s something softer in the way he says it, like he’s genuinely asking, genuinely uncertain for the first time.
You laugh quietly, but it doesn’t feel like the teasing kind of laugh you’re used to. It’s shaky, full of nerves. “No... Just a little confused, I guess. Not sure if this is all too much.”
Jack shifts closer, and his hand brushes against yours, the lightest touch that sends a jolt through you. It’s a simple gesture, but it speaks volumes. He doesn’t look away now, and neither do you. His breath is slow, steady, and in the stillness, you hear his heart beating in time with yours.
“I’m not sure either,” he admits, his voice low. “But I think I’ve known for a while… I don’t think we can keep pretending things are the same. I can’t. And I’m not sure what will happen next, but I know I don’t want to screw it up.”
You swallow, your own uncertainty mirrored in his eyes. Everything that’s been left unsaid finally hangs in the air between you two, heavy and undeniable. The fear of what could change, of what could be lost, and the quiet hope that maybe just maybe it could work.
"Jack…” You start to say something, anything, but the words stick in your throat. You want to say that you’ve been feeling it too, that you’re terrified of losing this, of messing it all up. But the weight of it all is too much. So instead, you just shake your head, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the uncertainty in your chest. “I don’t know what happens next either.”
You hold his gaze for a beat longer, everything inside you pulling toward him, wanting to close the space between you both. And with that final breath, that quiet understanding, you realize it doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be figured out right now.
You lean in the rest of the way, tilting your head slightly, and then Jack’s lips meet yours.
It’s nothing like you expected. It’s soft, hesitant at first, like you both are testing the waters. But it’s real. And for the first time in a long time, you feel like you’re finally on the same page. It’s not about the future or the fear of change it’s just about right now, and the way everything feels when it’s just the two of you.
When you pull away, there’s a breathless pause, but it’s not awkward. It’s not forced. It’s just you, and him, and everything that’s been building between you finally making sense.
Jack’s forehead rests gently against yours. His eyes are still closed, and there’s a quiet smile playing on his lips. “I think I could get used to this,” he says, voice low, almost like he’s speaking to himself.
You let out a soft laugh, the tension between you both easing, and for the first time, it feels like you don’t need to say anything more. You both know. It’s not perfect, it’s not figured out yet but it’s real, and maybe that’s enough for now.
⟡
It’s almost midnight when your phone buzzes on your nightstand. You’re half asleep, barely registering the sound until it buzzes again. You squint at the screen, the glow too harsh in the dark room. It’s a text from Jack. “are you up?”
You rub your eyes and sit up the sleepiness fading as you type back. “yeah, what’s up? Are you okay?its midnight.” The dots appear and disappear. Then nothing. You frown, already knowing where this is going. “ want me to come over?” This time, the dots stay. “You don’t have too, just want to talk to you.”
You slip out of bed, grabbing a sweatshirt and slipping on your shoes without even thinking about it. Your house is quiet as you head out the back door and cut across the yard. Jack’s house is familiar, the kind of place you could walk to blindfolded. The back door is unlocked like it always is.
You find him on the couch, the TV on low, playing some old hockey highlights. His head is tipped back against the cushion but his eyes are open dark circles shadowing his face. He looks up when he hears you, his expression softening in a way that makes your heart ache a little.
“You didn’t have to come,” Jack says, sitting up.
“You knew I would,” you reply, kicking off your shoes and sitting down beside him. Your knee bumps against his. He’s in sweats and an old usa hockey hoodie, and his hair’s still damp from a shower. He looks tired.
Jack doesn’t say anything for a long time. His eyes stay on the screen, but you can tell he’s not really watching. The hum of the commentary blends into the background. You wait, not pushing you’ve always known how to give him space when he needs it.
“I can’t sleep,” he says finally, voice low. His knee bounces restlessly. “I keep thinking about the combine.”
You lean back against the couch, watching the screen as a highlight reel of some playoff game flickers by. “What about it?”
Jack sighs. “Everything. The tests. The interviews. The scouts. If I screw up, it’s going to be everywhere.” His hand runs through his hair, leaving it messy. “I mean, I’ve trained for this my whole life, right? But now that it’s actually here I don’t know.”
“You’re not going to screw up,” you say softly.
Jack lets out a hollow laugh. “Yeah? What if I do?”
You nudge his leg with your foot. “You won’t. But even if you did it wouldn’t change anything. Not with me.”
Jack’s eyes flick toward you, guarded but searching. He’s quiet for a beat. Then, so quietly you almost don’t catch it, “It’d change everything else.”
You shift toward him, turning so your knee presses more firmly against his. “Jack, you’ve worked your ass off for this. One bad day at the combine isn’t going to erase years of training and games and scouts already knowing you’re good enough.”
Jack’s jaw tightens, his eyes falling to his hands. His thumb rubs absently along the inside of his palm. “Yeah, but what if I’m not enough?”
You don’t hesitate. You reach over, lacing your fingers through his. His hand is warm, his skin rough from years of hockey sticks and gloves. He tenses for half a second, then relaxes into the touch.
“You’re enough,” you say, quiet but steady. “You’ve always been enough, Jack. Even if you didn’t have hockey.”
Jack’s eyes lift to meet yours, wide and a little raw. His thumb grazes the side of your hand, slow and deliberate.
“You really believe that?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
Jack’s mouth curves into the smallest smile. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it’s something. His gaze drops back to the screen, though his hand stays in yours, his thumb running over your knuckles.
For a while, neither of you speak. The silence isn’t uncomfortable it’s the kind of quiet that feels like home. Jack’s breathing evens out, his knee resting against yours. The highlights on the screen blur together.
“Stay?” Jack asks after a long moment. His voice is quiet, almost hesitant.
You squeeze his hand. “Yeah.”
Jack shifts, leaning back against the couch. You lean into him, letting your head rest against his shoulder. His hand stays tangled with yours, his thumb brushing back and forth along your knuckles in a steady rhythm. Slowly, the tension in his body eases.
“Thanks,” Jack murmurs. His head tips toward yours, his breath warm against your hair.
“You don’t have to thank me,” you say, eyes drifting shut. “Just remember this. When it gets hard, when the pressure’s too much, remember you don’t have to do it alone.”
Jack’s hand tightens around yours, his breath catching for half a second. Then he relaxes.
“I’ll remember,” he promises, voice low and sure.
You smile, your heart steady now as you let the sound of his breathing and the flicker of the TV lull you toward sleep. You know there’s still a long road ahead, the combine, the draft, Jack’s rookie year but for now, this is enough.
It’s late afternoon when you find Jack on the ice, alone.
The rink is almost empty and quite the kind of quiet that makes the sound of skates cutting into the ice seem louder. Jack’s in a plain grey hoodie, a puck sliding back and forth between his stick blade as he moves through the neutral zone. His head is down, shoulders tense, and even from the stands, you can tell he’s overthinking it. His movements are sharp, almost mechanical like he’s trying too hard to be perfect.
You sit down on the bleachers, the cold from the rink seeping through your jeans. Jack’s been like this all week quiet, short answers, disappearing for extra hours at the rink. You didn’t have to ask why. The NHL Combine is in two weeks. The pressure’s been building, and Jack’s not the type to admit when it’s too much.
A sharp slap of the puck against the glass pulls you from your thoughts. Jack’s skating toward the blue line, his stick dragging behind him as he breathes heavily, a little unsteady. He circles back toward center ice, but his stride falters slightly just enough for you to notice.
“You’re overthinking it,” you call out, standing.
Jack glances up, his expression closed off but his eyes soften when he sees you. He coasts toward the boards, resting his forearms against the top. His breath comes out in sharp clouds of condensation.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” he says but there’s no bite to his words.
You shrug. “Figured you’d need moral support.”
Jack huffs a soft laugh but it doesn’t reach his eyes. His gaze drops to the ice. “Not really playing like someone who deserves it.”
You step closer, your hands resting on the edge of the boards. “Jack, you’re allowed to have a bad practice.”
Jack shakes his head. “Not now. Not this close.” His hands flex around his stick. “I can’t screw this up.”
“You won’t.”
Jack’s eyes flick toward you. There’s something guarded in his expression the same look he gets when he’s trying not to show how much it’s getting to him. His eyes are dark under the shadows of his helmet.
“You don’t know that,” he says quietly.
You swallow, searching for the right words. “Yeah, I do.”
Jack exhales sharply, his gaze drifting to the ice. He’s quiet for a long time before he speaks again, his voice low. “What if I’m not good enough?”
Your chest tightens at the vulnerability in his voice. He’s always been confident, cocky, even but this is different. This is the fear he doesn’t let other people see.
You rest your hand over his where it grips the top of the boards. His fingers twitch beneath yours, but he doesn’t pull away. “Jack” Your voice softens. “You’ve been working for this since you were a kid. One bad practice isn’t going to change the fact that you belong there.”
Jack’s mouth pulls into a thin line. His eyes stay locked on the ice.
“You know that, right?” you press.
Jack’s jaw tenses. He exhales through his nose and finally meets your eyes. “Yeah. I know.” But his voice is tight, like he’s still trying to convince himself.
You squeeze his hand lightly. “Come on. Take the helmet off. Let’s reset.”
Jack hesitates for a second before unbuckling his chin strap. His hair falls into messy waves as he pulls the helmet off, and you smile despite yourself.
“There’s the Jack I know,” you say softly.
Jack’s mouth tugs at the corner, the smallest hint of a smile breaking through the tension in his face. He sets the helmet down on the boards and rests his forehead against the glass, his eyes closed for a long moment. His breath fogs up the glass in front of him.
“Why are you so calm about this?” Jack murmurs.
You smile, even though he can’t see it. “Because I know you. And I know you’re going to be fine.”
Jack’s eyes open. He tilts his head toward you, his cheek pressed against the glass. His gaze lingers on you longer than it probably should. His expression softens, his mouth curving into something more familiar less guarded.
“You always know what to say,” Jack says quietly.
You shrug. “It’s part of the job description.”
Jack’s mouth tugs at the corner. He leans back from the glass, turning toward you. “And what job is that?”
“girlfriend” you say lightly, even though the words feel heavier than they should.
Jack’s gaze drops to your mouth for half a second before he catches himself. shaking his head slightly. “You’ve been overpaid.”
You laugh. “I don’t know. Pretty sure I’ve earned it.”
Jack’s hand slides from the boards, brushing against yours as he steps back onto the ice. The contact is brief a split second but it’s enough to make your breath hitch.
He skates backward, his eyes never leaving yours. “Stay?”
You smile. “Always.”
Jack nods, his jaw unclenching slightly. His shoulders relax as he turns and skates toward the far side of the ice. He moves differently now, smoother, looser. It’s not perfect, but it’s him.
⟡
Jack’s in Buffalo for the Combine. He’d been gone for almost a week now, thrown into a blur of interviews, medical tests, and physical evaluations. You’d been following the coverage clips of him flashing across social media, a quick shot of him stepping into the arena or walking down a hallway with other top prospects. He looked calm on the surface, but you knew better. The absence of him is starting to feel like a hollow ache beneath your ribs. You’ve talked to him every day, quick texts in the morning, rushed calls at night but it’s not the same as having him there next to you. He’s exhausted you can tell even through the phone but he’s not the type to admit when it’s too much.
You’re half asleep when your phone buzzes on the nightstand. It takes you a second to realize what’s happening, the glow from the screen sharp against the dark. You blink, rubbing your eyes as you reach for it for the sixth time this week knowing it was a text from Jack “are you awake?”
You sit up, sleep slipping away as you type back. “yeah. What's wrong? it’s late.” The typing bubbles appear, then disappear. Then nothing. You frown, already feeling the tightness in your chest. “want me to call?” A pause. “I just need to hear your voice.” Jack replied.
You hit the call button without even looking at his message. Jack answers on the second ring. “Hey,” you say softly. “Hey,” Jack’s voice is rough, low. He sounds tired.
“Did you just finish?”
“Yeah.” He exhales sharply. “Got back to my room like five minutes ago.”
“What happened?”
Jack lets out a humorless laugh. “Where do I start?” His voice is tight, and you picture the way he probably looks right now sprawled out on the hotel bed, arm draped over his eyes. “The bike test was brutal. My legs were shaking so bad I thought I was going to fall off.”
You wince. “That bad?”
“They crank up the resistance until you physically can’t pedal anymore,” Jack says. “I could barely stand afterward.” Your chest tightens. “Jack” he cuts you off. “And the VO2 max test?” Jack groans. “I thought I was gonna puke. I was seeing spots by the end.” You frown. “Did anyone else struggle that much?”
“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be better than that.” His voice sharpens. “I can’t afford to screw this up.”
“You didn’t,” you say quickly. “You weren’t there,” Jack says, his tone edged with something close to frustration. But then his breath catches, and his voice softens. “Sorry. I didn’t mean”
“It’s okay,” you interrupt gently. “What else happened?” Jack sighs. “Wingate test. They make you sprint all out on the bike for 30 seconds. My legs were already toast, so I tanked it.”
“Jack” you say once again, getting cut off “And the long jump?” He laughs under his breath, but there’s no humor in it. “I swear I’ve never jumped that short in my life.”
“Did Quinn do better?” you ask carefully. “Of course he did,” Jack mutters. “The scouts loved him.” Your heart aches at the sharpness in his tone. You know how much Jack admires Quinn, but that admiration is tangled up with the constant pressure to keep up.
“And then,” Jack’s voice lowers, frustration leaking through, “they threw me into interviews while I could barely breathe. One scout asked if I thought I deserved to go first overall.” Your mouth tightens. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Another one asked if I think I’m better than Quinn.” You sit up straighter. “What the hell?” Jack mutters “I didn’t even know what to say,” His voice is low and tight. “I think I screwed it up.”
“You didn’t,” you say firmly. Jack doesn’t respond right away. You hear the rustling of sheets, the muffled sound of the TV in the background probably an old hockey game. “I don’t know,” Jack murmurs. “I need to be better.”
“Jack.” Your voice softens. “You’ve done enough. You’ve been working for this since you were a kid. You’re too hard on yourself” Jack’s quiet for a moment. Then, so soft you almost miss it “What if it’s not enough?” Your chest tightens. This is the fear he doesn’t let other people see.
“Hey,” you say softly. “Close your eyes.” Jack’s quiet for a second. “What?”
“Just trust me.”
A long breath. “Okay.”
“You’re on the ice,” you say. “Just you. The rink’s empty.” Jack’s breath steadies. “You’ve got the puck,” you continue. “Skating down center ice. No pressure, no scouts, no cameras. Just you.”Jack hums quietly, like he can almost see it.“You make the shot,” you say. “Bar down. Clean.” Jack exhales. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you say. “And you don’t even need to look, because you already know it’s in.”There’s a long stretch of quiet on the other end of the line. Then, so soft you almost miss it “I wish you were here.”
“I know,” you whisper, throat tightening. “Me too.” Jack sighs, and you hear the rustling of sheets as he shifts. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’re not going to find out,” you say, trying to sound light, but it comes out more fragile than you mean it to. Jack’s quiet for a long time. You think he might have fallen asleep until you hear him murmur, “You’re the only thing keeping me sane right now.” You press the phone closer to your ear, even though it won’t bring him any closer. “You’ve got this,” you whisper. “You’re going to be fine.”
Jack breathes out, low and even. “Stay on the phone with me?”
“Yeah,” you say, curling into your pillow. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Jack’s quiet for a while after that, but you don’t hang up. You stay there, listening to the sound of his breathing as it evens out, until the line finally goes quiet and you know he’s asleep. You don’t hang up. Not yet.
⟡
Jack’s been quiet all morning. His usual easy smile is nowhere to be found, replaced by a tight line of tension in his jaw. He’s been bouncing his knee relentlessly, his leg jittering under the table during breakfast at the hotel. He barely touched his food, pushing scrambled eggs around his plate until Quinn took it away and told him to stop torturing it. Now, he’s sitting next to you on the edge of the bed, his head tipped back against the wall, his fingers tapping absently against his knee. The hotel room is bright from the mid-morning sun filtering through the sheer curtains, but it feels too quiet too still like the entire day is holding its breath.
Jack’s name has been everywhere since the Combine. Every hockey account, every sports network, every mock draft all saying the same thing. First overall. Franchise player. Generational talent. He should be used to it by now, but it feels different this time. Closer. Like the weight of it all is pressing down on his chest. And you feel it too, even from miles away. You saw it during the Combine the way he tensed when people mentioned the draft, how he downplayed his scores and his interviews even when you knew he’d crushed them. Jack’s always been good at brushing things off, but this feels different. Bigger. Like it’s not just about hockey anymore. It’s about living up to something.
The draft isn’t until later tonight, but the weight of it is already pressing down. Jack’s been working toward this moment his whole life, the moment his name is called, the moment his future in the NHL becomes real and now that it’s finally here, it’s like he can’t figure out how to breathe through it.
You shift closer until your knee bumps his. “You’re thinking too hard.”
Jack’s eyes slide toward you, dark under the shadows of his lashes. He huffs out a breath. “How am I supposed to not think about it?” His voice is quiet, frayed at the edges.
You reach for his hand, your fingers slipping between his. He’s warm always is, but his hand is stiff, tense. “I don’t know. Maybe stop overthinking it.”
Jack lets out a shaky breath, his thumb brushing along your knuckles. His gaze drifts toward the window, but you can tell he’s not really seeing it. His mind is already at Rogers Arena, already running through every possible outcome. He’s been carrying the weight of this for months the expectations, the pressure, the comparisons to Quinn, to his dad and you know it’s only gotten heavier.
“Jack.” You squeeze his hand. He doesn’t look at you right away, but when he does, his eyes are wide, a little raw around the edges. You offer him a small smile. “You’ve got this.”
Jack’s mouth twitches like he wants to smile back, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “And what if I don’t?”
“You will.” You don’t hesitate, don’t even think about it. You just know. Jack’s been skating since before he could walk. He’s trained for this put in the work, put in the hours. He’s ready. Even if he can’t see it right now.
Jack’s gaze stays on you, his brow furrowing slightly. His hand tightens around yours. “I’m scared,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.
You shift closer until your shoulder presses against his. “That’s normal.”
Jack’s eyes darken. “What if I’m not good enough?”
“You are.”
Jack swallows hard, his jaw working. He looks away, his throat bobbing as he tries to steady his breathing. You can feel the tension radiating off of him, the way his chest rises and falls too quickly. His thumb rubs absently against the back of your hand.
You lean into him, resting your head against his shoulder. “It’s going to be okay,” you say softly. “Even if you don’t go first. Even if it doesn’t go the way you expect you’ll still have hockey. You’ll still have me.”
Jack’s breath stutters. He turns his head slightly, his cheek brushing against your hair. “You mean that?”
You lift your head and meet his gaze. “Of course I do.”
Jack’s hand slides from your hand to your knee, his fingers curling around it like he’s grounding himself there. His eyes search yours, and for a moment, it feels like the weight of the room shifts. The nerves are still there, the pressure, the uncertainty but some of the tension in his face softens. His eyes flick toward your mouth, then back to your eyes. He exhales slowly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out,” you say, just as softly.
Jack’s mouth tugs at the corner. He leans in, pressing his forehead against yours. “Promise?”
You smile, your hand lifting to his jaw. “Promise.”
Jack lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes for a moment, his hand tightening on your knee. The quiet settles around you both, not the heavy kind, not the tense kind just quiet.
“Jack?” Quinn’s voice breaks the silence, followed by a knock at the door. “We’ve gotta go soon.”
Jack sighs. He lifts his head, his eyes lingering on you for a second longer before he pulls away. “Yeah, okay.”
Jack stands, adjusting his shirt and brushing his hands down his pants. His gaze flicks toward you, hesitant. “You’re coming with us, right?”
You stand too, straightening his collar. “Obviously.”
Jack’s mouth curves into something close to a real smile, small but genuine. He takes your hand again, linking your fingers as he leads you toward the door.
The car ride to Rogers Arena is quiet. Jack sits next to you in the backseat, his knee bouncing, his fingers tapping against his thigh. He’s wearing a fitted suit, his hair styled but still a little messy at the top. You can tell he’s trying not to overthink it, but the tension in his jaw gives him away.
Quinn and Luke sit in the back of the car, phone in their hand, scrolling through Twitter. The whole car feels charged, the anticipation building the closer you get to the arena. When you pull up, Jack hesitates for half a second before stepping out. His hand brushes against yours as you follow him out of the car.
Inside, the energy is palpable. The arena is packed with media, fans, scouts, the low hum of conversations mixing with the occasional burst of camera flashes. Jack tugs at the cuff of his jacket, his mouth pulling into a thin line. His eyes flick toward you.
You slip your hand into his, squeezing gently. “Deep breath,” you say.
Jack’s jaw relaxes slightly. He squeezes your hand back. His eyes linger on you for a beat before he nods. “Yeah. Okay.”
Quinn steps up behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “You’ve got this”
Jack’s mouth twitches. He looks toward the draft stage, toward the rows of seats, the cameras, the scouts and then back at you. His hand tightens around yours.
“You’re with me, right?” Jack asks quietly.
You smile. “Always.”
Jack breathes out. And this time, when he looks toward the stage, the tension in his jaw fades just a little.
Jack’s heart is hammering. It’s too loud in here the buzz of conversation, the hum of the arena speakers, the occasional burst of laughter from a family. His suit jacket feels too tight across his shoulders, his tie choking him a little more with each second that passes. His name has been circling the draft floor for months, repeated on every broadcast and in every article first overall, franchise player, generational talent but none of it feels real right now. It feels heavy. Like the weight of the entire league is resting on his chest, squeezing the air from his lungs.
He shifts in his seat, his hand resting against his thigh, and feels your fingers slip between his. His head turns toward you automatically. You’re sitting beside him, close enough that your knee is pressed against his. Your hand is steady, your thumb brushing lightly over his knuckles. He doesn’t realize how hard he’s gripping you until you adjust your hand slightly, your grip soft but certain.
“You’re okay,” you whisper, low enough that only he can hear. Jack breathes out shakily. “Am I?” You smile soft, sure. “Yeah. You are.”
Jack’s gaze drops to the floor, his thumb smoothing over the inside of your wrist. He can feel the pulse there, steady beneath his touch. His heart’s not steady. It’s racing. He doesn’t know if it’ll settle until this is over until he hears his name.
Quinn is watching him. He’s sitting straight in his chair, hands resting on his thighs, but his eyes are soft when they meet Jack’s. “You’ve got this,” Quinn says quietly. Jack’s mouth twitches. He starts to nod, but then Luke leans across from Quinn.
“Yeah,” Luke adds, his grin lopsided, a little nervous but bright. “And if you don’t, you can always blame it on Quinn.”
Quinn rolls his eyes.
Jack huffs a soft laugh, but it fades quickly. His gaze shifts toward the stage, where the Devils’ management team is already gathering. The nerves coil tighter in his chest. His hand tightens around yours.
“You’re with me, right?” Jack asks quietly.
You don’t even hesitate. “Always.”
Jack’s eyes soften, some of the tension fading from his expression. He breathes out and shifts closer, his knee pressing into yours beneath the table. He doesn’t have time to say anything else before the commissioner steps up to the microphone.
Jack’s stomach drops. The noise in the arena swells as the camera swings toward the Devils’ table. The commissioner is still talking, but Jack barely hears it over the blood rushing in his ears. His legs feel locked beneath the table. His chest is tight.
“And with the first overall pick, the New Jersey Devils are proud to select from the US National Team Development Program… Jack Hughes.”
Your hand squeezes his.
Jack exhales. He stands on shaky legs as Quinn claps him on the back, Luke grinning wide as he jumps up to hug him. “Dude!” Luke laughs, his arms tight around Jack’s waist. Quinn pulls them both in, his head knocking against Jack’s shoulder. Jack’s laugh comes out a little breathless.
“Go get your jersey,” Quinn says, his voice thick with pride.
Jack’s hand is still locked with yours as he turns toward you. His expression is soft, his eyes dark and bright all at once. “You’re coming with me after this, right?”
You smile. “Try and stop me.”
Jack hesitates for half a second, then leans in. He kisses you quickly just a press of his lips against your cheek but it’s enough to make your breath hitch. His thumb brushes over your knuckles once more before he finally lets go and steps away.
Jack walks toward the stage, his heart still pounding but his legs moving steady beneath him. He can feel Quinn and Luke’s eyes on him, your smile burned into the back of his mind. He shakes hands with the commissioner, pulls on the Devils jersey, and lifts the hat onto his head. Cameras flash. The noise swells. His chest is tight again but this time, it’s not nerves. It’s something else. Something warmer.
He looks back toward the floor, toward the row of seats where Quinn, Luke, and you are sitting. You’re still watching him. Your hand rests against your heart. Quinn’s arms are crossed, smiling like he knew this would happen all along. Luke is grinning wide, already pointing toward the Devils logo on Jack’s chest.
Jack breathes out. And this time, he smiles.
After the photos and the handshakes, Jack ushered toward the media pit. Questions are thrown at him from every angle about expectations, about his future with the Devils, about being a franchise player. He answers them as best as he can, his gaze flicking toward the crowd every so often, searching for you. When it’s over, the team staff directs him toward the tunnel, and he barely makes it a few steps before he hears someone yell his name.
“Jack!”
He turns just in time to see you barreling toward him, arms outstretched. Jack’s barely able to brace himself before you crash into his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms come up automatically, locking around your waist. You’re laughing and crying at the same time, your face buried in his shoulder. Jack breathes out, his chin resting on top of your head.
“You did it,” you whisper.
Jack’s arms tighten around you. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You could’ve,” you mumble, pulling back enough to look at him. “But I’m glad you didn’t.”
Jack’s gaze drops to your mouth. His hands settle at your waist, his thumbs brushing lightly over the hem of your sweater. His chest is still pounding, but this feels steadier somehow. Grounding.
“Hey,” Quinn’s voice cuts in. Jack glances up to see Quinn and Luke standing nearby, Luke practically vibrating with excitement. Quinn’s got that proud but pretending to be casual look on his face.
Luke steps forward first, grinning. “Dude! First overall!” He throws his arms around Jack’s waist, nearly knocking him over. Jack laughs, ruffling Luke’s hair.
“Couldn’t have done it without you either,” Jack says.
Luke pulls back, his smile wide. Quinn rolls his eyes, but his smile doesn’t fade. “Congrats, Jack.” He steps in, pulling Jack into a one armed hug and clapping him on the back. “Knew you had it in you.”
Jack’s throat feels tight. He pulls back and looks between Quinn, Luke, and you. His family. His people. His hand finds yours again, his fingers threading through yours like it’s instinct. Your gaze softens, and Jack feels his heartbeat finally settle.
“Come on,” Quinn says, nodding toward the tunnel. “Let’s go celebrate.”
“Yeah,” Jack says. “Let’s go.”
⟡
It’s been a whirlwind since the draft. Jack signed his contract with the Devils two weeks ago, and now he’s leaving to New Jersey for rookie camp. Jack’s flight to New Jersey is early. Too early. You’re still wrapped in blankets on the couch when he stands in the doorway, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. His Devils hat is pulled low over his eyes, casting a shadow across his face. His mouth pulls into a thin line as he looks at you, hesitation flickering in his eyes.
“I should get going,” Jack says quietly.
You push yourself up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you cross the room toward him. “Are you sure you have everything?”
Jack nods, but his gaze stays on the floor. His hand tightens around the strap of his bag. “Yeah.”
You hesitate for half a second before stepping closer. Your arms wrap around his waist, and Jack exhales sharply as he melts into you. His chin rests on top of your head, and his heartbeat thrums against your cheek.
“I’m gonna miss you,” you murmur.
Jack’s hand slides up your back. “It’s not like we’ve never done long distance before.”
“Yeah, but” You trail off, the words sticking in your throat. It feels different this time. You pull back, your hands lingering on the hem of his hoodie. “Just don’t forget about me when you’re a big NHL star.”
Jack’s mouth twitches. “That’s not gonna happen.”
“You don’t know that.”
Jack’s eyes soften. He leans down, brushing his nose against yours. “I do.”
You smile, even though your chest feels tight. Jack kisses you softly with a lingering brush of lips and then pulls back too soon. His hand stays on your waist for an extra second before he steps away, his expression shifting into something steadier, more composed.
“Call me when you land?” you ask.
Jack’s mouth tugs at the corner. “Always.”
You walk him to the door, watching as he disappears down the driveway and into the early morning light. Your chest feels hollow by the time his car pulls away. The silence that follows is heavier than you expect.
You try to keep busy over the next week spending time with friends, picking up extra shifts but it’s hard to ignore how quiet it feels without Jack around. He calls every night, though, and you fall into a familiar rhythm. Jack fills you in on the details of rookie camp, the fitness tests, the long practices, and the media. He tells you about the other guys, how Nico seems nice, how Bratt’s already chirping at him like they’ve known each other for years. He tells you how much faster the game feels, how much stronger the guys are. You can hear it in his voice, the strain beneath his usual confidence.
“Hard day?” you ask one night, curled up in bed with your phone pressed to your ear.
Jack sighs. “Yeah.”
“Wanna talk about it?” Jack’s quiet for a long moment. “I just don't know. I feel like I’m playing catch up. Like everyone’s two steps ahead.”
“You’ve barely been there for a few days, Jack.”
“I know,” Jack says. “But it’s not supposed to feel this hard.”
“You put too much pressure on yourself.” Jack huffs a soft laugh, but there’s no real humor in it. “It’s kinda hard not to.” You’re quiet for a beat. Then, “You’re not gonna figure it out overnight.”
“I know.”
“But you’ll figure it out. You always do.” Jack doesn’t say anything for a second. Then, quietly, “I hope you’re right.” You close your eyes. “I always am.” Jack’s breath crackles over the line. “Can I call you tomorrow?”
“You don’t have to ask.”
Jack’s quiet for another moment. “I love you and I miss you .”
Your heart clenches. “I miss and love you too.”
Jack sighs softly. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Jack.”
You keep the phone pressed to your ear until the line goes quiet.
Jack calls you after his full day of rookie camp, his voice low and tired through the phone. He sounds exhausted, more than you expected. You’re sitting on the floor of your bedroom, your knees pulled to your chest, the phone pressed to your ear.
“Hey,” Jack says, his voice scratchy. “Hey,” you say softly. “How was it?” Jack exhales a sharp breath. “Brutal.”
“What happened?”
“Fitness testing.” Jack huffs a soft, humorless laugh. “Like the Combine but worse.” You sit up a little straighter. “Worse?”
“Longer. Harder.” Jack’s voice dips lower. “I thought I was ready for it, but I don’t know.” He sounds frustrated, and that’s what gets you. Jack rarely admits when something’s hard.
“You’re gonna be fine,” you say quietly.�� “I don’t know,” Jack says again. “It’s not just the testing. The practices everyone’s so fast. So strong. I’m trying to keep up, but it feels like I’m a step behind.”
You can almost picture him sprawled across his bed, running a hand through his hair the way he does when he’s stressed. Your chest tightens. “You’ve been there for what five days?”
“ a week.”
“A week” you repeat. “Jack, you need to give yourself some time.”
“I don’t have time,” Jack says. His voice sharpens, the frustration cracking through. “This is the NHL. Everyone’s watching.”
You know that’s true you’ve seen the articles, the highlight reels on social media. It’s a lot for anyone especially for Jack, who’s always carried the weight of expectation like it’s part of his DNA.
“Hey,” you say softly. “You don’t have to figure everything out right away. This isn’t going to be easy it’s not supposed to be. But you wouldn’t be there if you couldn’t handle it.”
Jack’s quiet for a long moment. Then, barely above a whisper: “I don’t know if I can.” You close your eyes, your heart tightening. “Jack.”
“I’m serious,” Jack says. His voice cracks a little at the edges. “What if I’m not as good as everyone thinks I am?”
“You are,” you say immediately. “Jack, you’ve been working toward this your whole life. You belong there.”
“Do I?”
“Yes,” you say. “And if you can’t believe that yet let me believe it for you.” Jack doesn’t answer right away. His breath crackles over the line. “What would I do without you?” You smile faintly, even though your chest aches. “You’d figure it out.”
“Maybe,” Jack says. “But I’m glad I don’t have to.”
Jack starts texting you more after that. Sometimes it’s a quick message in the morning on the ice or a random photo of his new locker with his nameplate above it. Sometimes it’s a rant about drills, or a chirp about one of the guys. Jesper seems to be his favorite target.
Bratt tripped me in practice today. little rat
What'd you do? you text back.
chirped him about his hair
You can’t help but smile. But there are harder messages too.
Bag skate this morning. Thought I was going to pass out.
Coach isn’t happy with me.
Everyone’s so much stronger.
You know Jack doesn’t say these things to anyone else. With the media, with his teammates he’s steady. Confident. But with you he lets the cracks show. And when he calls you late at night, his voice low and rough, you know that’s when he’s feeling it the most.
One night, it’s past midnight when your phone buzzes on your nightstand. You’re half asleep, barely registering the sound until it buzzes again. You squint at the screen. Jack.
“Hey,” you answer, your voice thick with sleep. “Did I wake you?” Jack asks. “No,” you lie. “What’s wrong?”
Jack sighs, and you can hear the tension in it. “Nothing.” You wait. Jack’s quiet for so long you think maybe he’s about to hang up. Then he says, “I just needed to hear your voice.”
You sit up, rubbing at your eyes. “Rough day?”
Jack’s breath catches. “Yeah.”
“What happened?”
Jack’s quiet for another long moment. “Coach ripped into me.”
You frown. “Why?”
“Made a bad play during the scrimmage,” Jack says. “Got caught flat footed on the backcheck. Then I missed the net on a breakaway.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Jack says. His voice drops lower, almost shaky. “I’m trying. It’s just everything’s so much faster than I expected. I feel like I’m drowning.”
“You’re not,” you say quietly. “You’re adjusting.”
Jack’s breath hitches. “What if I don’t?”
“You will.”
Jack doesn’t answer for a long time. You hear rustling on the other end of the line, like he’s lying down. “I miss you,” he says finally.
Your chest tightens. “I miss you too.”
Jack’s voice gets softer. “Will you stay on the phone with me? Just for a little while?”
You slide down beneath the covers, resting your head against the pillow. “Of course.”
Jack breathes out. “Thanks.”
You don’t say anything after that. Jack’s breathing evens out eventually, and you think he’s starting to fall asleep when you hear him murmur, barely audible “Love you.”
You don’t know if he’s even awake enough to remember saying it. But your heart thuds painfully against your ribs.
“I love you too,” you whisper.
⟡
Jack’s first game in the NHL is at home, and the crowd is louder than he expected. He steps onto the ice at Prudential Center, the Devils logo bright under the lights. The noise is deafening, the kind of sound that hits you square in the chest and for a second it’s hard to breathe. His legs feel shaky as he skates through warmups, the ice cutting beneath his skates with every push. The energy is electric, but it’s not enough to drown out the knot in his chest. He knows everyone’s watching him, the first overall pick, the franchise’s future. He tries not to think about it but it’s impossible to ignore the weight of it.
You’re watching from Michigan. The game’s on TV in your room, your laptop balanced on your knees. Jack looks smaller on the screen somehow swallowed up by the bright lights and the size of the arena. He’s wearing number 86, and it still feels surreal seeing it on an NHL jersey. He’s buzzing with nerves you can tell by the way he’s gripping his stick too tightly during warmups. He’s always done that when he’s nervous.
Jack texts you after warmups while the Zamboni is still clearing the ice. “Starting on the second line. My hands are shaking.”
You smile, already typing back. “You’ve got this. Just play your game.”
Jack’s response comes quickly. “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
“You won’t.” You pause before adding, “But maybe don’t sit next to Nico if you do.”
A minute passes before the dots appear again. “Not funny.”
“A little funny.”
Jack doesn’t respond, but the small, shaky smile he gives the camera when it passes by his bench tells you he saw it.
The game itself is rough. Jack looks fast, quick on his feet, but the Devils’ offense struggles to keep up. He gets knocked down hard in the first period, bouncing off the boards and coming up wincing. He pushes through it, but you can tell he’s frustrated the way he shakes his head after a shift, the way he skates to the bench with his head down. The Devils lose 4-1, and Jack finishes with a minus-two rating. His line gets hemmed in the defensive zone more than once, and even though it’s just one game, the postgame interviews are already talking about whether he can handle the league’s size and speed.
He calls you after the game, his voice flat. “That sucked.”
“You knew it wasn’t going to be easy,” you say softly.
“I didn’t think it would be this bad,” Jack mutters. He sighs, and you can hear the exhaustion in his voice. “I was minus-two. Do you know how bad that is?”
“Jack”
“Everyone’s already talking about it,” he cuts you off. His voice tightens, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “I can’t screw this up” He trails off, his breath shaky.
“You’re not screwing anything up,” you say firmly. “It’s one game.”
“It’s not just one game.” Jack exhales through his nose, and you can hear the tension in it. “This is what I’ve been working toward my whole life. And what if I’m not good enough?”
You close your eyes, pressing your forehead to your hand. “Jack. You are good enough. You belong here.”
Jack’s quiet for a moment. “Yeah,” he says eventually. But he doesn’t sound like he believes it.
The first few weeks are more of the same. Jack gets pushed around a lot, the physicality wearing on him. He’s getting hit hard, knocked off the puck more than he’s used to. He’s fast, but the guys he’s playing against are bigger, more experienced. He’s trying, you can see it but it’s not coming together the way he wants it to.
Your phone buzzes constantly after games. Jack’s name lights up the screen with texts “Minus-three. Fucking embarrassing.” “I can’t score.” “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
You try to reassure him, but the losses are piling up. The Devils are 0-4-2 to start the season, and Jack’s still scoreless. The media’s already running with it headlines about whether he was overhyped, if he’s too small for the league. Jack tries to brush it off, but you know it’s getting to him.
It’s late one night when he calls you, his voice quiet. “I don’t know how to fix this.” You sit up in bed, clutching the phone to your ear. “You will.”
Jack doesn’t say anything for a while. “I just” He sighs. “I miss you.”
Your chest tightens. “I miss you too.”
Jack’s breath hitches. “I hate it here,” he says quietly.
Your eyes burn. “I know.”
“I don’t know how to do this without you.”
“You’re not doing this without me,” you whisper.
Jack’s quiet for a long time. His breathing is steady in your ear. Eventually, he says, “I just want to come home.”
You close your eyes, swallowing down the ache in your chest. “I know,” you say softly. “But you can’t.”
Jack doesn’t answer, but you know he’s still there. After a while, his breathing evens out, and you realize he’s fallen asleep on the line. You stay there for a while, the phone pressed to your ear, listening to his quiet breathing.
Jack finally scores his first goal two weeks into the season, a breakaway against Vancouver. Quinn’s on the ice when it happens, and you see the way Quinn hugs him against the glass after the puck crosses the line. Jack looks lighter for a moment, his smile big and bright, but it fades quickly after the game ends. The Devils still lost 5-2.
He calls you that night, and he sounds more tired than happy. “It doesn’t matter if we keep losing,” Jack mutters.
“Yes, it does,” you say. “Jack, you scored. That’s huge.”
Jack sighs. “Yeah.” He’s quiet for a second before adding, “Quinn said you screamed when it went in.”
You laugh. “Maybe.”
Jack’s breath softens. “I miss you.”
Your heart squeezes. “I miss you too.”
Jack’s quiet for a long time before he says, “I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.”
You don’t know how to answer that. So you don’t.
⟡
Jack’s rookie season should’ve been exciting. It should’ve been everything he’s worked for. Instead, it’s November, and the Devils are on a six-game losing streak. Jack’s gone nine games without a goal, and the media’s not holding back. Every headline is brutal. Every post game interview is worse. He’s not smiling as much anymore. He’s quiet when you call, sometimes too tired to even talk. And when you visit, it feels like he’s somewhere else entirely.
The last time you saw him in person was two weeks ago. You’d flown from Michigan to see him play in Newark the first time you’d been able to since the season started. Jack had barely looked at you when you met him outside the locker room. His face was tight, his eyes tired. He’d hugged you, but it was quick. Impersonal. And when you sat with his family during the game, you saw the tension in his shoulders, the way he carried himself on the ice like the weight of it all was pressing down too hard. He’d been the last one off the ice after the loss, his head down, his mouth pulled tight.
He called you that night late, when you were already back at the hotel and apologized. “I just I’m sorry I couldn’t see you more,” Jack had said, his voice low. He’d sounded exhausted. “I’m just tired.”
Now, it’s almost midnight again, and you’re staring at your phone, waiting for him to call. He hasn’t. You’ve texted twice with no answer. You know he’s probably at home by now, maybe asleep. Or maybe not. He’s started turning his phone off after games. Less noise, he’d said. Less pressure. But you don’t know if it’s helping.
It’s hard to know what to say when you do talk to him. When he tells you he’s doing fine, even though you can hear it in his voice that he isn’t. When he tells you, “I’ll figure it out,” even though you can see him unraveling.
The next morning, you call him before class. He answers on the third ring, his voice rough with sleep. “Hey,” he says.
“Hey,” you say softly. “You okay?”
Jack sighs. You can hear the sound of him rubbing a hand over his face. “Yeah. Just tired.”
“You’ve been saying that a lot.”
Jack’s quiet for a long time. “Yeah.”
You sit down on the edge of your bed, clutching the phone a little tighter. “Jack”
“I’m fine,” he says quickly. Too quickly.
“You’re not,” you say gently. “You don’t have to-”
“I said I’m fine,” Jack cuts in. His tone is sharper than you’ve ever heard it.
You go quiet. Jack exhales. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I just don't know.”
“It’s okay,” you say softly.
Jack doesn’t say anything for a while. You can hear his breathing over the line, steady but heavy. Finally, he speaks again, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to fix this.”
You swallow the lump in your throat. “You don’t have to fix it alone.”
Jack doesn’t answer. And after a while, the line goes quiet.
The next time you talk to Jack, it’s after another loss. This time to Toronto. Another night of him leaving the rink without a point. Another night of reporters asking him what’s wrong, why he isn’t producing.
“I’m trying,” Jack says, his voice tight. “I’m trying and it’s not, it's not working.”
“I know,” you say softly. “But it’s not your fault. It’s a team-”
“I don’t care if it’s a team thing,” Jack snaps. “I’m the first pick. I’m supposed to be the one fixing it.”
“Jack-”
“I have to be better.” His voice cracks. “I just I don’t know how.”
Your heart aches. You want to reach through the phone and pull him into you. Hold him until the tension melts away. But you can’t. You’re too far away. And Jack’s already starting to pull back.
“You’re not alone im with you,” you say quietly.
Jack doesn’t answer.
You hear him breathe out. Then the call ends.
The worst part is that you don’t know how to help him. Jack’s not letting you in the way he used to. And you can feel it the distance growing between you, like something fraying at the edges. You want to fix it. You want to be enough to hold him together.But Jack’s starting to slip through your fingers.
⟡
After a while, you notice that not only jack started to drift from you, but also your relationship with him. It starts with the little things.
The missed calls. The delayed replies. The way Jack’s voice sounds a little too thin over the phone, his laugh not quite reaching the places it usually does. He’s tired you can hear it even when he tries to hide it.
At first, you don’t think much of it. Jack’s schedule is brutal, and it’s not like he’s never missed a call before. But then it starts happening more often. You’ll text him after a game Proud of you, call me when you can? and it’ll sit there for hours. Sometimes until the next day. Or he’ll call you late, hours after he said he would, with a rushed apology and a tired “I’m sorry, babe. I just passed out after practice.”
You get it. You do. He’s in the middle of his rookie season, grinding through the hardest stretch of hockey he’s ever played, and he’s under more pressure than he’ll ever admit. But that doesn’t make it sting any less when you see his name light up your phone after midnight and realize you’ve already given up hope of hearing from him that night.
Or when you do pick up, and it’s not the Jack you’re used to hearing.
“Hey,” you say softly, curling up under the covers. “You okay?”
Jack’s voice is thin over the line. “Yeah. Just tired.”
He always says that. Just tired. Even when it sounds like more than that.
“You played well tonight,” you offer. “Had that sick pass in the second.”
Jack’s breath crackles faintly through the speaker. “Didn’t matter. We still lost.”
“It’s not on you.”
Jack hums. You can picture the way he’s probably lying there head buried in the pillow, hand resting over his face, the line of his jaw tight. He’s always been hard on himself. But lately, it's gotten worse.
The games aren’t going well. The media’s been tearing into him ��first overall pick and only four goals? The disappointment in the headlines is almost palpable. You’ve stopped reading the articles, but you know Jack hasn’t. He doesn’t talk about it, but you can tell from the way he’s quieter now. The way his texts have dwindled from paragraphs to one word answers.
The last time you FaceTimed, Jack barely looked at you. He was lying in bed, hair damp from his post-game shower, and you could see the crease between his brows even when he wasn’t talking. You tried to make him smile made a dumb joke about how you’d start training to become the Devils' new enforcer but all you got was a faint chuckle and, “Sorry, I’m just-”
“Tired,” you’d finished for him, and Jack had sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.
It’s been like this for a while now. He’s slipping or maybe you’re the one slipping away. You don’t know how to fix it when Jack’s over 600 miles away, and every conversation feels like trying to grasp sand in your hands the harder you try to hold on, the faster it slips through your fingers.
You’re curled up in bed now, phone pressed to your ear as Jack’s voice filters through the speaker.
“It was bad,” Jack says. His voice is quiet. Defeated. “I just I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
You sit up a little, pushing back the tight feeling in your chest. “Jack, it’s not you. The whole team’s struggling right now.”
“Yeah, but” He cuts himself off. You can hear the frustrated exhale on the other end. “I should be better. I was the first overall pick I’m supposed to make a difference.”
“You are making a difference,” you say gently. “It’s your rookie year. No one expects you to carry the team.”
Jack’s silent for a beat too long.
You squeeze your eyes shut. “Jack?”
“Yeah,” he says, but his voice sounds distant. “I know.”
You hesitate. “Do you, though?”
His breath hitches. “I just I don’t know. Feels like I’m trying, but nothing’s working. And people are starting to talk, you know? About how maybe I wasn’t ready, maybe I’m not”
“Jack,” you cut in. “Stop.”
He doesn’t respond.
“You’re not a mistake,” you say, because you know that’s what he’s thinking. “You deserve to be there. You worked your ass off for this.”
“I guess.”
“Not ‘I guess,’” you press. “Jack, you”
“I know,” he snaps, and the sharpness of it cuts through the space between you. You freeze, swallowing the knot in your throat. Jack exhales shakily. His voice softens. “Sorry. I’m just tired.”
You force a small smile even though he can’t see it. “You’re allowed to be tired.”
“Yeah,” Jack says, but it doesn’t sound like he believes it.
Another stretch of silence presses down between you. You wait for Jack to fill it, but he doesn’t.
“You want me to stay on the phone with you?” you ask quietly.
Jack’s quiet for a second. “No its okay”
“I’ll stay”
“Okay.”
So you stay. Jack doesn’t say much after that. You can hear the rustle of his comforter as he shifts around, settling into bed. His breathing starts to even out. You stay awake longer than you probably should, listening to the soft sound of him breathing on the other end of the line, wondering how much longer you’ll be able to reach him like this.
Because lately, even when he’s right there, yet he feels so far away.
⟡
It’s been months of missed calls, delayed texts, and half-hearted conversations. Jack’s always tired. Or busy. Or distracted. And when you do talk, it’s like he’s only halfway there like some part of him is already pulling away. You’ve tried not to read into it, tried to convince yourself it’s just the pressure of his rookie season, that things will settle once he finds his rhythm. But deep down, you know better. It’s not just hockey. It’s him. It’s you. It’s the quiet space growing between you, the way it stretches wider with every unanswered text and every empty conversation.
So you book a flight to New Jersey because you need to know if this is still something you can save or if you lost him completely
DAY ONE
The cab ride from the airport to Jack’s apartment is quiet. Too quiet. The city outside the window passes in a blur of gray and headlights, but you don’t really see it. Your phone sits heavy in your lap, the screen dark except for the faint reflection of the passing streetlights. You tap your thumb against the side of it like you're expecting a message that you know isn’t coming. Jack texted you earlier to confirm he’d be home when you arrived, but that was three hours ago. No follow-up. No “Can’t wait to see you.” No little heart emoji like he used to send.
It’s not that he’s ignoring you at least, not outright. He’s busy, you’ve told yourself a hundred times over the last few weeks. Rookie season is demanding. New city, new team, new pressure. He’s adjusting. You should understand that. And you do. You swear you do. But understanding it doesn’t make the silence feel any less heavy.
When the cab pulls up in front of Jack’s building, you hesitate for a second before stepping out. You’re not sure why it’s not like you’ve never been here before but the weight sitting low in your stomach makes it hard to breathe. The driver sets your bag on the curb, and you force yourself to pick it up, shoulders tensing under the weight of it as you walk toward the entrance.
Jack opens the door when you knock. He’s in a plain Devils hoodie and sweatpants, his hair damp like he just showered. He smiles, but it’s thin, barely reaching his eyes.
“Hey,” he says. His voice is soft, like he's already tired.
You smile, forcing brightness into your voice. “Hey.”
Jack leans down to kiss you, but it’s brief. Quick. Like he’s already pulling away before it starts. His hand finds the small of your back and guides you into the apartment, but it drops as soon as the door closes behind you.
The apartment looks the same cleaner than you expected, probably because Ellen came to visit last week but it feels off. Like someone came through and rearranged all the furniture just enough to make you notice. Jack’s shoes are in a neat row by the door. There’s a half empty coffee mug sitting on the counter. His phone is face down on the couch.
Jack sits down on the couch, leaving a noticeable gap beside him. You sit too, trying to close it, but he doesn’t shift toward you.
“So,” you start, your voice too bright, too forced, “how was practice today?”
“Fine.”
Your stomach twists. “Just fine?”
Jack shrugs, eyes fixed on the muted TV. “Yeah.”
You watch him for a second, the sharp line of his jaw and the way his hand rests against his knee. Normally, he'd have his arm around you by now. Normally, you’d be tangled together and he’d be rambling about plays and drills and how Nico wouldn’t stop chirping him today.
But he’s quiet. Detached.
And you’re hyper aware of the space between you.
Jack reaches for the remote and starts flipping through channels. His brows furrowed in concentration, but he’s not really watching anything. It’s like his body is here, but the rest of him is somewhere else.
“Hungry?” he asks after a minute.
“Yeah, I could eat.”
“Cool.” He stands. “I’ll order something.”
And that’s it. He disappears into the kitchen without asking what you want. A minute later, you hear the soft murmur of his voice on the phone.
You sit there, your heart beating loud in your ears, and wonder why it feels like you’ve already lost him.
Jack comes back a few minutes later and drops onto the couch, his knee brushing against yours for half a second before he shifts away.
“Food should be here in, like, twenty minutes,” he says.
You nod. “okay”
More silence. The TV hums in the background, the flicker of light reflecting off Jack’s face. You glance at him, hoping he’ll look over at you, but his gaze stays fixed on the screen. His hand is resting between his knees, his fingers pulling at a loose thread in the fabric of his sweatpants.
You clear your throat. “Did you, um talk to Quinn today he was asking me about you?”
Jack’s mouth tightens. “Yeah.”
“And?”
“He’s good.”
You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. The seconds stretch out between you, long and tense and uncomfortable.
“Jack.” You lean toward him, lowering your voice. “What’s going on?” Jack’s jaw twitches. “Nothing.”
“It doesn’t feel like nothing.”
Jack sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just been a long week.”
You search his face, the dark circles under his eyes, the faint crease in his forehead and you know he’s not lying. But you also know he’s not telling you the whole truth.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” you say, your voice soft.
Jack’s gaze flickers toward you, and for a second, you see it the familiar warmth, the quiet vulnerability you’ve always known how to reach. His eyes soften, and he looks like he might actually say something.
But then the buzzer for the front door sounds, and the moment evaporates.
Jack stands quickly. “That’s the food.”
You watch him cross the room, feeling the distance stretch wider with every step.
He comes back with a brown takeout bag, setting it on the coffee table before sitting down. He opens the bag and pulls out containers of food sushi, not your favorite and hands you a pair of chopsticks without looking at you.
You stare down at the food. “Did you know what I wanted?”
Jack hesitates. “I just ordered something quick.”
Your chest tightens. Jack always knows what you want. He knows you like avocado rolls, not spicy tuna. He knows you like extra soy sauce on the side and that you don’t like wasabi. But tonight, it’s like he didn’t even think about it.
You pick at the sushi, appetite gone. Jack eats quietly, his eyes back on the TV. The sound of the game commentator fills the air, too loud, pressing into your skull.
After a few minutes, Jack stands and starts cleaning up. He takes your barely touched container and tosses it in the trash without a word.
“I’m gonna shower,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Oh. Okay.”
Jack hesitates in the doorway. His eyes flick toward you, and for a second, you think he might come back, sit down, pull you into his arms, tell you he’s just tired and that everything is fine.
But he doesn’t. He disappears down the hall, and a minute later, you hear the sound of the shower running.
You sit there, hands clasped in your lap, listening to the water hit the tile. Your heart feels too big and too small at the same time, pressing against the walls of your chest.
Jack’s phone buzzes on the table, and you glance at it. A text from Nico lights up the screen:
Good skate today.
You stare at the message for a long time.
The shower runs in the background, and you sit alone on the couch, feeling the emptiness stretch out around you.
DAY TWO
Jack sleeps with his back to you.
It’s not the first time, but it feels different tonight. Final. His side of the bed feels miles away, the sheets cool and untouched where his body should be. You lie there for a long time, staring at the ceiling, listening to the sound of his breathing. It’s shallow, restless. Every few minutes, he shifts, the mattress dipping under his weight.
You think about reaching for him, curling up into his side like you always do. Your hand twitches under the blanket, fingers itching to brush over his back, to anchor yourself to the steady rhythm of his breathing. But something stops you. Fear, maybe or just the quiet certainty that if you reach for him, he’ll pull away.
So you stay still, the space between you cold and unforgiving.
You wake up sometime in the middle of the night to find him half hanging off the edge of the bed, his face turned toward the wall. His arm is curled beneath his head, his breathing uneven. You watch the rise and fall of his back, the way his shoulders tense even in sleep. He’s not resting, not really.
You swallow hard and sit up slightly, brushing your hair away from your face. For a second, you think about touching him, coaxing him back toward you. But you don’t. You can’t.
In the morning, Jack wakes up first. You know this because you hear him moving around the apartment while you lie there, eyes closed, hoping he’ll come back to bed. He doesn’t.
Instead, you hear the distant sound of water running in the bathroom, the clink of glass in the kitchen. The low hum of the TV. You press your face into the pillow and try to breathe through the tightness in your chest.
When you finally get up, Jack’s sitting at the kitchen counter with a protein shake. He’s already dressed in workout gear Devils issued shorts and a long-sleeve shirt that fits snug around his arms. His hair is damp, curling slightly at the ends. He glances up when you enter the room.
“Morning,” you say, your voice coming out softer than you meant.
“Hey.”
You sit across from him, pulling your knees up and wrapping your arms around them. Jack’s gaze flickers toward you briefly, then drops back down to his protein shake. He spins the cup slowly in his hands, condensation trailing down the side.
You try to find his eyes. “Sleep okay?”
Jack nods, distracted. He taps his thumb against the edge of the cup. “Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Mmhmm.” His gaze darts toward the window.
You glance at the clock on the microwave. “What time’s practice?”
“Ten.”
“You want to grab coffee after?”
Jack hesitates. His shoulders tighten. “I don’t know. We’ve got media stuff later.”
“Oh.”
You feel stupid for asking.
Jack stands and rinses out his cup in the sink. His back is to you, but you see the tension in his shoulders. He’s holding it all in the pressure, the frustration, the weight of everything this year has asked of him. Normally, he’d tell you about it. He’d talk through it, let you hold it with him for a little while.
But now it feels like he’s trying to keep the distance intact.
“You okay?” you ask quietly.
“Yeah.”
“Jack.”
He sighs and rubs a hand over his face. When he speaks, his voice is tight. “It’s just a lot right now.”
You nod, even though he’s not looking at you.
Jack’s hand curls over the edge of the counter. His knuckles turn white for half a second before he exhales and grabs his keys from the hook by the door.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” His tone is light too light. Like he’s trying to make this feel normal.
You sit up straighter. “We could go out tonight. Dinner or something.”
Jack pauses with his hand on the handle. His eyes flick toward you, guarded. “Yeah. We’ll figure something out.”
Then he’s gone.
The door clicks shut behind him, and the quiet of the apartment closes in around you.
You sit there for a long time, staring at the spot where he stood. The sunlight spills in through the thin curtains, cutting pale lines across the hardwood floor. You think about the way he used to kiss you in the mornings, sleepy and warm, his hand curled over the back of your neck. You think about the way he used to tug you into his chest after a restless night, murmuring sleepy nonsense into your hair.
And then you think about last night about the empty side of the bed and the quiet wall of his back facing you.
Your phone buzzes on the table. You grab it quickly, your heart leaping in your chest. But it’s not Jack. It’s a text from quinn
"Hope you’re having a good time! How’s Jack?"
You stare at the message for a long moment before typing back:
"Good. Everything’s good."
The lie tastes bitter on your tongue.
You sit there for a while longer, the phone still in your hand, before pushing yourself to your feet. You grab the half-empty protein shake Jack left on the counter and dump it down the sink. The hum of the refrigerator fills the silence.
It’s only nine o’clock, but it feels later. Your eyes drift toward the bedroom the sheets still rumpled from sleep and you wonder if you should crawl back into bed and wait for him to come home.
But you know better.
Instead, you curl up on the couch and pull the blanket over your legs. Jack’s sweatshirt is draped over the arm of the couch, and you pull it onto your lap, bunching the sleeves in your hands. It smells like his laundry detergent and something warmer, more familiar.
you press your face into the fabric and close your eyes, trying to remember the last time he held you like he meant it.
You think about how he used to look at you and really look at you like you were the only thing in the room that mattered.
But that was months ago. Now, when Jack looks at you, it’s like he’s looking through you. Or worse like he’s already decided what happens next.
Your phone buzzes again. This time, it’s Jack.
“Practice ran long. Gonna be late.”
You type out a quick response "Okay." but don’t hit send right away.
Instead, you sit there with the message glowing on the screen, wondering when it started feeling like this. Like you’re holding onto something that’s already slipping away.
DAY THREE
It was worse the next day. The air felt thicker, like it was weighing down every conversation. Jack seemed distracted, his gaze always drifting toward his phone or the TV. When you asked if he wanted to grab lunch, he hesitated for a second before saying, "Yeah, sure," like he was doing you a favor.
At lunch, he kept glancing around, not meeting your eyes. You watched him scroll through his phone between bites of his sandwich. You tapped your nails against the table.
"Jack."
"Hmm?" His eyes didn’t lift from his phone.
"Can you put that down?"
He sighed but set the phone face down. "Okay."
You wanted to ask if he even wanted you here. You wanted to ask why he wasn’t looking at you like he used to, why you felt like a ghost in his apartment. But you swallowed it all down and smiled when Jack forced another conversation about hockey that you could barely focus on.
That night, he sat at the edge of the bed, scrolling on his phone again while you sat behind him. You reached out, resting a hand on his back. He tensed.
"Are you okay?" you asked.
"Yeah," he said quickly.
"You don’t seem like it."
"I’m fine, okay?" His tone was sharp. He stood up and walked toward the bathroom without looking back.
You stared at the empty space he left behind.
DAY FOUR
You woke up before Jack.
He was lying on his stomach, face half-buried in the pillow, hair sticking up in every direction. You watched him for a moment, chest rising and falling steadily. He looked peaceful like this like the Jack you used to know. The Jack who used to roll over and pull you into his arms the second he woke up.
You shifted closer, brushing your hand over his back. His skin was warm under your fingertips. He stirred, groaning softly into the pillow.
"Morning," you whispered.
Jack’s eyes fluttered open. He blinked at you sleepily, then rubbed a hand over his face. "Morning."
You smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to his bare shoulder. He didn’t react. Just sat up and ran a hand through his hair.
"What time is it?"
"Almost nine."
Jack nodded, already swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I should get going soon."
"Going where?I thought you had today off"
Jack stood, stretching. "I do, I'm just going to go workout with some of the guys."
"Oh." You sat up, the sheets pooling around your waist. "Can I come?"
Jack paused, looking at you over his shoulder. "I mean it’s just going to be boring."
"I don’t care."
Jack hesitated. "I think we’re just gonna grab lunch after. Probably end up hanging out at Nico’s."
You bit the inside of your cheek. "So you don’t want me there?"
Jack’s gaze darted to the floor. "It’s not that."
"Then what is it?"
Jack sighed. "I don’t know. Just feels like a guys' thing, you know?"
You swallowed. "Right."
Jack’s phone buzzed on the nightstand. He grabbed it, checking the screen. A faint smile tugged at his mouth.
"Who is it?" you asked.
“Nico," Jack said, texting back quickly. He tossed his phone onto the bed, already moving toward the bathroom.
You sat there for a moment, heart sinking.
"I’ll be back later," Jack called over his shoulder.
"Cool," you murmured. But Jack had already closed the door behind him.
You sat there for a long time, listening to the shower running.
When Jack got back that afternoon, you were curled up on the couch, knees pulled to your chest. He walked in, tossed his keys onto the counter, and sat down across from you. He scrolled through his phone without saying anything.
You watched him for a moment.
"How was it?" you asked.
"Hmm?"
"Your workout."
Jack shrugged. "Good."
"Anything else?"
Jack didn’t look up. "Nope."
Your jaw tightened.
You shifted closer, resting a hand on his arm. "Jack."
He tensed. "What?"
You hated how sharp his voice sounded. Like you were annoying him.
"Do you want to do something tonight?" you asked quietly.
Jack sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I don’t know. I’m kind of tired."
"Oh."
Jack’s gaze flicked toward you. "What?"
"Nothing," you said quickly, even though it wasn’t nothing.
Jack’s phone buzzed again. He picked it up without hesitation. You sat there, heart sinking as he smiled at the screen. He didn’t even notice the way your hand fell away from his arm.
And that’s when it hit you.
You weren’t the person he wanted to talk to anymore.
You weren’t the person who made him smile like that anymore.
You took a breath, swallowing hard. "Jack."
"Hmm?"
You sat up straighter, heart hammering painfully against your ribs. "Do you even want me here?"
Jack’s head jerked toward you, brows furrowing. "What kind of question is that?"
"You’re barely looking at me." Your voice cracked. "You don’t talk to me. When you do, it feels like you’re trying to get through it so you can go back to your phone. Just say it if you don’t want me here."
Jack’s jaw tightened. "Jesus, you’re making this a bigger deal than it is."
"A bigger deal?" you echoed. Your voice sharpened. "Jack, I flew to new jersey to see you. I’m trying so hard to hold this together, but you’re not even meeting me halfway. If you don’t want this anymore, just"
"I didn’t ask you to come."
You froze.
Jack’s eyes widened, but the words were already out there.
Your heart hammered in your chest. "What?"
"I didn’t ask you to come," he repeated, softer this time. His gaze fell to the floor. "You decided to."
You blinked hard, your throat tightening painfully. "Wow."
Jack ran a hand through his hair, exhaling hard. "I didn’t mean it like that"
"You did."
Jack’s mouth opened, but no words came out.
You stood up, shaking. "I can't, I can't do this anymore."
Jack’s head snapped toward you. "What does that mean?"
"It means I’m done." Your voice broke, but you kept going. "I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one fighting for this. If you’re not going to try, then why am I even here?"
Jack’s eyes darkened. "So that’s it? You’re giving up?"
You laughed bitterly. "You gave up first."
Jack’s mouth twisted. "Right. So now it’s my fault?"
"You know what?" you said, your breath shaking. "Yeah. It is."
Jack stood up, his eyes hard now. "Fine. If you want to go, then go."
"That’s it?" You took a step toward him, tears blurring your vision. "You’re not even going to try to stop me?"
Jack’s eyes flashed. "What do you want me to say? That I miss you? That I love you? You already know that, but it’s not enough, is it?"
"It’s not enough if you’re not going to show it!" you shot back. "You say you love me, but you act like I’m just here. Like I don’t matter."
Jack’s expression darkened. "Yeah? Well, maybe you don’t."
You sucked in a sharp breath.
Jack’s face paled instantly. "I—"
"No." You shook your head, tears spilling down your cheeks. "You said it. And you know what? Maybe you’re right."
"Don’t twist this"
"I’m not twisting anything! I’m done!" Your voice cracked, but you held your ground. "I’m not going to sit here and beg for you to care about me. I deserve better than that."
Jack’s jaw flexed.
Your breath hitched. You waited for him to take it back to tell you to stay. But Jack just stood there, eyes stormy, hands clenched into fists at his sides.
You nodded slowly. "Okay."
You grabbed your bag from the floor. Jack didn’t say anything as you walked toward the door. Your hand trembled as you opened it.
You hesitated. Just for a second.
"Bye, Jack," you whispered.
Jack didn’t reply.
You closed the door behind you.
The flight home feels like a blur. You don’t cry at least not yet but the numbness sets in as soon as the plane takes off. Jack didn’t text you before you boarded. He didn’t call. He didn’t say anything after the door shut behind you.
You stare out the window, watching the clouds blur beneath you, but your chest feels hollow. Four years. Gone in a single weekend. Your friendship since you were 10 of growing up together, of loving each other through every awkward phase and milestone shattered in one conversation.
You scroll through your phone without really seeing it. His contact sits at the top of your recent messages, the last one marked as read. I’m sorry. He hasn’t sent anything since.
And honestly, you don’t expect him to.
Your phone vibrates, and for half a second your heart leaps. But it’s just your mom, checking in. You let the message sit unopened and slide your phone facedown on the tray table.
When you get home, everything feels wrong. Your room looks the same, but it’s too quiet. No FaceTime calls from Jack lighting up your phone. No goodnight texts. No “Miss you” or “Wish you were here.” The absence is deafening.
You lie in bed that night, scrolling through old pictures, ones from Vancouver, from Michigan, from all those summers at the lake house. Jack’s smile frozen in time. Your hand in his. Quinn and Luke in the background, laughing at something Jack had said.
Your chest tightens.
You think about how easy it used to be how you could sit in silence for hours and still feel connected. How you could tell what Jack was thinking just from a look. How his hand would instinctively find yours without either of you thinking about it.
But somewhere along the way, you both stopped reaching for each other. Mostly him.
Your phone buzzes again. This time, it’s Quinn.
“You okay?”
Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, but you don’t know how to answer that.
“Yeah. Just tired.”
Quinn’s reply comes quickly. “Jack didn’t mean it.”
Your breath catches. A hollow feeling sinks deeper into your chest.
You don’t answer.
Because the worst part is maybe he did.
#hockey imagine#hockey fic#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#jack hughes#jack hughes imagine#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes fic#nj devils#njd fic#hockey x reader#new jersey devils#hughes brothers
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From the breastmilk titty ask, i’m just curious which yandere who tries to latch on to that titty the most? 😩
idk if this is including the incest kids so i included them too 😅
unhinged, desperately craves the titty milk (in no order whatsoever):
eudorios, to no one's surprise. he needs his mother's milk. he CRAVES IT. it is literally his favorite beverage. it's what he tastes whenever he drinks ichor and nectar. HE NEEDS HIS MOMMY'S MILKY TITTIES SO BAD 😛 the only one on this list that forces himself to hold back cuz he doesn't wanna freak him mom out, but hooooooly shit it's getting harder and harder (literally and figuratively LMAO)
loki. down bad horny and feral for his wifey's titty milk. will literally try to drink it even in public, he has NO SHAME at all and percy's fed up with his ass 😭
anubis. another shameless god when it comes to his wifey's titty milk. he's constantly pawing at her in public, whining and begging and whimpering with little tears even beading in his eyes as he pleads with her: "pls pls pls pls pls, i'm on my knees for you, PLEASE let me drink your sweet sweet milk, honey buns pls pls pls 😭💖💖💖💖"
apollo's another shameless beggar LMAO. he'd drop to his knees and beg for a taste and goes absolutely ballistic once he gets it. he once asked percy if he could make a whole new fountain with her as the centerpiece where the water pours out of her titties and she gave him the silent treatment for a whole month LMAOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
horny, desperate, and lecherous, but with some restraint:
cú chulainn. come on, can you blame him?? he's married to THEEE percilla who literally puts the MOTHER in MOTHERhood, of fucking course he'd be thirsty for the titty milk. while the ones above are shameless, he'd at least have some decency to be private..... and by that, i mean he'd drag her to some dark corner and just drink from her there and try to be quiet
beelzebub! he's the devil, but he has the decency to have some restraint.... keyword being some. whenever he gets a sudden craving, all he could focus on are her tits and he tries not to shamelessly ogle her too, but sometimes it just gets too much that he needs to grab her and teleport her back home so they could have some fun 💖
poseidon. another shameless pervert. he'd just stare percy's boobs down with the blankest face ever before deciding, without a word, to just up and teleport themselves back to the palace so he can drink from her. though in the palace, he doesn't care who sees. he expects his servants to leave once horny times come, so the second they see their emperor and empress/princess return and he just... rips her dress open, they quickly leave the area 😭
thalassandros would literally DROOL at the thought of his mother's titty milk 💀 he fantasizes about it, daydreams about it, etc etc. he cannot escape the titties. they haunt him in a good way. he's literally gnawing at his own lip every time he sees his mother's boobs accidentally leak a bit and has to leave for some... privacy.
axiandros craves his mother's titty milk. he needs it so desperately, surely it can cure his daddy issues! he savors the childhood memories when he was still a babe and his mother freely let him drink from her... constantly has to do the horny grip meme every time he's around her. he's struggling so bad 🥺💔
luke, the sly little devil, definitely wants a taste of his mother's milk and is SUPER sneaky in trying to acquire it. whenever his mother has a little oopsies (a leak), he's always there to lend a hand and wipe her dress clean! it's totally unnecessary since she can just use her powers to dry off, but he's just trying to be a helpful son 💖 as he's wiping her down, he definitely "accidentally" tweaks a nipple to get her to leak more. oh no!
horny, but gentlemanly!:
hades! yes he wants the titty milk sooo bad, but he's at least respectful and suave about asking! he'd ease her into the idea by seducing her and that's how he gets the goods 😋 no need for shameless begging and exhibitionism with him, he's a true ✨gentleman✨
theromedes! ah yes, like father like son, except... he's holding himself back solely out of guilt and fear of his secret affections for his taken mother being discovered 💀 he tries soooooo hard. every time his mother's titties start to leak, he immediately looks away and hands her a napkin because he's just THAT sweet 🥺 (may or may not lick the used napkin when she's not looking though.....)
pontoleon's a little shy and embarrassed to be thinking about it. he's not a kid anymore, why's he so obsessed with his mother's milk all of a sudden? (he's horny, that's why). the idea of drinking from her titties gets him so flustered and hard that he has to flee the vicinity pronto
sirenios thinks everything about his mother is beautiful, including her titties and titty milk! 💖💖💖 daydreams of drinking it straight from the source (her beautiful titties!) or carrying it around a gleaming goblet so he can drink it on the go! 💖
not that interested in the titty milk:
kymon! he likes the taste from when he was a baby, but he's not that horny for it. sure he thinks about it from time to time, but he's not down bad as the losers above LMAO
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Been cleaning up and rearranging stuff a lot lately in preparation for moving, and I'm getting a bit emotional about my first TF figure/toy...


I've had this Jazz for like, 10+ years, and I used to take this guy everywhere. He's so scuffed from being dragged across driveways and playgrounds, and he sits and stands a bit wonky because the plastic cracked along one arm, and both his legs tend to pop off, and he doesn't really transform well anymore because of that. I forgot him in a drawer some years back, but nowadays he gets to sit front and center atop my bookcase ;-;
#he was my favorite as a kid bcs of the games and G1. i cant believe i just left him in a drawer like that for so long#augh. my guy <333333. i need to see if i can scrub some of the dirt off and clean him up some. poor dude#ive always admired other people's like. collections and stuff. i mean. having a bunch of pristine or rare figures is super cool. but-#-but I've always loved the sorta charm that comes with people sharing their real personal collections-#-the sorta ''me and this guy/gal go way back'' kinda figures and toys#ones that are a little wonky. or were shared or passed down. or are super special to just the person that has them. fav blorbo type figures#its like. this jazz was my childhood buddy. we had adventures. he fought off monsters. was a giant in lego world. he held my ipod#and its like. yeah. teen years went kinda shit. and i put away a lot of things i loved then. but looking back now-#-the love i have for transformers is bcs of this one little scuffed dude#man. moving again was bound to make me emotional. and its going a lot faster than my family planned. so the stress is kinda piling up#but ough. the memories that come with sorting through stuff 😢#sorry lol. just going through it a bit rn ig lmao#thought id have more time before things really picked up. but the deadline got changed. so. a couple projects are getting pushed back again#its a lot. but aye. getting to be emotional over little plastic dudes is part of the coping process apparently lmao#if anyone read this far. What was your first tf figure or toy? if i can ask?
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Syberia, 2002.
#found some old gifs i made many years ago#<- my new tag heheh#syberia#benoit sokal#nostalgic#favorite games#childhood memories
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The level of chemistry and tension between two ANIMATED characters is unmatched.
#Don Bluth deserves more recognition#the animators deserved a raise#I forgot how much I love this movie#enemies to friends to lovers#iconic#anastasia#disney plus#even though it's not technically disney#this and Thumbelina are some of my favorite childhood movies#disney#childhood#memories#90s kid#90s
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From the Halloween asks:
✨ - Best Halloween memory?
Ohhhhh hmm. I had a lot of fun trick-or-treating at Disney World while I was a teen, but admittedly the people I usually went with... make it less of a positive memory, in retrospect. One year we did all make homemade Lock, Shock, and Barrel masks and we looked fantastic. lmao
I also have really, really loved some of Sleep No More's Halloween parties, but I've never actually gone on Halloween proper, I don't think...
I lived on a floor full of Ancient Studies/Museum Studies majors when I was a freshman in college and we all watched The Mummy and wrapped each other up in toilet paper and that was fun, too...
Honestly, though, if it comes to like Pure Joy, there was this one year I went trick-or-treating with my best friend in Ohio. We were probably like... idk, 8? And it was the absolute apex of the Wonder Ball craze.
(For my non-American followers, they were sort of like Kinder Eggs but usually had toys relating to popular children's brands like Disney. The toy version was eventually made illegal here just like Kinder Eggs are, lmao. They replaced the toy with shitty candies.)
My dad never let me get one at the grocery store when he let me pick out a treat because they were so expensive (a whole dollar, lmao) so I desperately wanted one. They still had toys in them back then and everyone wanted one. But I'd never gotten one.
So Jody and I go trick-or-treating and we come to this quiet cul-de-sac that apparently no kids went to...? And there was this nice couple there who had clearly decided to go all-out for Halloween and they'd bought an entire box of Wonder Balls. Since no other kids had shown up, they let Jody and I take like five each and it was glorious.
I remember going back to her house and her dad had the Simpsons Halloween special on TV (fun for me as I was not allowed to watch The Simpsons back then) and we broke open our Wonder Balls and had a great night. :')
#while I do not remember them (so they can't be the best memory) some other fun stories from my very young childhood:#my parents dressed me up in increasingly bizarre food-related costumes#like a mouse stuck in a block of cheese and a taco and broccoli and a juice box and a bag of jelly beans#I've seen the pictures and I was EXTREMELY cute#apparently the broccoli one didn't go so hot because mama put me in a green sweatsuit and glued green cotton balls on a shower cap#and had me hold stalks of broccoli#but I really liked broccoli#it was my favorite vegetable#so I kept eating it throughout the night...#so by the end of the night it was... not obvious what I was#also once my dad dressed up as a cow but his face paint scared my sister so much that she locked him out of the house lmao#less fun memory: when my aunt was dying I had to trick-or-treat at a hospital one year#I was a little clown IIRC and I couldn't have been more than about 4#not really sure how it worked out but I do actually remember doing it bc it felt so surreal
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WHOEVER RUNS THE CBS NFL ACCOUNT - COUNT YOUR DAYS 😭🤮
#not hockey#I know a ton of y’all hate them#but this was my childhood - some of my favorite memories#I wish I could relive it all
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youtube
This is incredibly niche to my own experience, but as a New Hampshirite, a classic Dr Who nerd, and someone who was raised on PBS, finding this (frankly boring) clip of a Dr Who pledge drive from NHPTV from the early 90s has made me happy today.
I grew up knowing of Dr Who but I don't think I ever really watched it -- even though this channel showed it until I was 12. It was broadcast on Saturday nights and I know me and my family were watching something else on one of the other 3 channels we could get instead. The most I must've seen was only in channel-surfing passing. Nevertheless, it must have been enough that when I finally did watch the show in highschool, I was struck with a weird sense of familiarity that I couldn't shake.
Finding this clip is weird and nostalgic for me; it's probably a bit too early for me to have ever seen, I was at the oldest a toddler when it aired. I found Dr. Who on the internet, but watching this is like a peek into an alternate reality where I might've watched the show as a kid on the family 13" tv, coming in fuzzily as that channel always did, in between PBS pledge drives.
#seeing Dr Who in the context of the PBS of my childhood is so weird#also its making me realize why i wouldn't have stayed to watch#(pledge season notwithstanding - i never could bother with that even for my favorite shows)#i probably saw a snippet and thought it was just another boring british historical drama like 90% of the rest of PBS's schedule#i definitely would have loved some of the more spacey episodes though#my memories of dr who before properly watching it was the classic diamond logo#and just a general sense that the show was kind of scary but intriguing in a mysterious way#so not much to go on but hey ho#I got there in the end#doctor who#pbs#classic who#tom baker
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ok ok... historically accurate byler-centric old west supernatural cowboy au. you get it.
#I've been thinking about this for months#I need to write it so badly#catch me writing this on my winter break when I'm not working on my byler post-st3 au trilogy project#I used to work on a ranch so I'd be able to draw on some of my favorite childhood memories/ experiences (with adjustments for the 1880s-90s#my posts#my writing ramblings
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Mountain streams all the way.
wait are y’all an ocean guy, lake guy, or river guy. i am a river guy tbh
#rushing rocky streams whose banks are lined with moss#weaving their way between trees and stones#cold even in the height of summer#shallow enough to wade across but with hidden depths to fall in where suddenly the water reaches your shoulders#demure and playful one day#storm swollen and deadly the next#knowable but unpredictable#I love the mountains and I love the mountain streams#some of my favorite childhood memories are of hiking and swimming in them#gpoy
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my favorite hobby is collecting personalities of people on internet
#have word files of stories that one of my favorite artists wrote about five years ago (they was never published) if not earlier#and know some facts from her childhood because i was in her chat#actually have a pretty good memory so i remember every little detail about some interesting people and love scrolling through the pages#of strangers to the years back#sounds creepy#like a confession of a fucking stalker#but i don't use or share it at all so i'm not a bad person™
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This is one of my favorite pieces I’ve done because it is so nostalgic for me! I used to make AG stop motions and draw AG dolls all the time as a kid, they were such a big part of my childhood and I made some of my favorite memories with them! ♥️
Now available as 5x7 and 11x14 prints on my Etsy! ♥️ kaitlynillustrations.etsy.com
#american girl#dolls#ag dolls#american girl dolls#samantha parkington#addy walker#josefina montoya#kit kittredge#fanart#y2k nostalgia#girlhood
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Step-Daddy Issues?
pairings- Toji Fushiguro x F! reader- Toji early 40s, reader early 20s
summary- oneshot PWP- You're staying at your old home for a night while your mom's out of town, you both never have gotten along but you need to get out after a nasty breakup. Toji and your mom have been hooking up on and off but she blew him off again, and he's there to make her forget she's mad with his dick... but instead mistakes you for your mom (after sticking his fingers inside you)
warnings- so many lol- Pure filth fr, age gap (20 years) He's not ACTUALLY your step dad. Toji is nasty, spitting, slapping, oral sex (both receiving), Toji calls reader 'doll and slutty, she calls him old man and daddy lmaoo, daddy kink, reader's mom is a bitch fr lol, but even so this is shady asf. Creampie, cum drinking/cum spitting-talking shit about reader's mom lol- reader fr has MOMMY issues (I'm prob going to hell for this one) WC- 4k - Comment/reblogs if you enjoy nasty ass daddy Toji lol
Tracks for this oneshot: Daddy Issues // Often // Favorite

You were not one to ever come home, you hadn’t even seen your mom in over a year because of how much of a bitch she really was. The day you moved out, she’d already turned your room into some office, and had all your shit put in storage, there was no ‘childhood room’ or memories to come home to. Since she left your dad especially, you’ve really not talked to her.
But tonight was a bad night, and you caved, messaging her, asking if you could come over. She gives you the go ahead and tells you where the spare key is. You are exhausted after a nasty breakup with your boyfriend, and you’re for once thankful for your mom’s existence… kind of.
Ever since she left your dad she was a grade a bitch, and she had boyfriends in and out from what you hear, some your age, but one in particular irritated your dad, some felon who used to run with the Zenin, the most notorious mafia family there was. You’d never met him or seen him on her Facebook, but everyone seemed pretty concerned at her taste.
The house is nice and clean as you remember it, as you lock up and let out another yawn, take off your shoes and jacket, it’s dark aside from the little stove light, you open the fridge, you find a whole case of beer, smiling. Mom’s good for that at least, you muse, bending over to grab one from the bottom, when you get a firm smack on your ass, making you yelp.
“Finally come back, huh? Thought you were fucking furious at me, ma?” You gasp as two fingers slip under your skirt, tense, half bent over in this fridge. “And what are you wearing, so fuckin slutty? F-fuck…”
“Ngh!’ You cover your cry up, when two rough pads of fingers prod under your slick panties, cunt dripping down his fingers, your heart racing, eyes rolling back when one presses into your entrance.
“Ya doing kegels? Why you so tight… mmm, c’mere…” He pulls your back against him in the dark room, you assume this must be Toji, whose finger sinks and stretches your tight little cunt, making you cry out. “Oh my god… mmm, she missed me huh?”
You can’t speak, not when the fridge shuts, leaving you both in the dark, and he’s pumping his two fingers in, other arm wrapping around you, pressing your back against him. He moans, vibrating his chest, before tilting your chin, slamming his lips down on yours. You wriggle, half in fright but half out of instinct, only earning him pressing you against the stainless steel fridge.
“You’re this wet f’me?” He huffs, amazed at how tight you feel, how soaked you are, the squelching sound loud in the kitchen, Toji’s cock straining against his sweats as he pictures sinking into you. “Not running that bitch mouth, huh?”
“Wh-what the fuck!?” Your voice halts him then, as you elbow him, making him hunch over, glaring in the dark at you, shock hitting him brutally.
You’re far prettier than your mom, and of course younger but that’s not what it is, it’s this look you have, these eyes that just end him, lips parted and inviting, your face is a little softer than hers, too. You look like her a bit, but there’s not much there similar aside from you both are the same height and about the same body size, your hair isn’t even the same now that he focuses.
He’s standing there dumb right now as you cross your arms, glaring up at him furiously, and he realizes now why that cunt felt so tight, why you were so wet for him. Your mom had been stringing Toji around for months, fucking around with this guy and that when she was mad at him, but he did it too, they were both toxic and awful to each other.
And he never even heard her mention you. He only knew about you from seeing a picture of your high school graduation, though you look more mature now, it’s unmistakable. Toji Fushiguro just had his fingers inside his girlfriend’s (ex girlfriend’s!?_ daughter’s pussy.
“Mom isn’t home.”
“Well, no shit… I… the fuck are you doing here?” He demands then, fighting the desire to suck you off his fingers.
“Bad breakup, last resort was coming here.” You sigh now, adjusting your skirt, color heating up your cheeks even in the dark. “You call her a bitch?”
“She is one. Shit she never even talked about you before, even when I asked, ya know that?”
You falter, emotions hitting then, and Toji’s face falls a bit. “Yeah I know, we don’t talk, ever.”
“That was a dick thing to say, m’sorry.”
“No worries, it’s true.” You open the fridge back up, taking out two beers, handing it to him, finally getting a good look at his face, handsome and rugged, some five o'clock shadow, a scar on his lip. He’s got dark, inky black locks all messy, and what appears to be lidded dark green eyes. “Do I really look like her from the back?”
“Same size and shit, I… fuck I had my fingers in you!?” He takes the beer, opening it and downing a bunch. “Shit.”
“Yeah, shit.” You hop up on the counter then, and his eyes dart across your bare legs, cock leaking precum as he thinks of your sweet cunt. “No worries, more action than I’ve gotten in a while.”
“Psh, what? Look at you. Doubt it.”
“What because I have a slutty skirt?” You muse, smiling a bit.
“Nah, you’re drop dead gorgeous. So I don’t buy it.”
“That’s a compliment… from you?” You manage, nervous now, and Toji smirks, enjoying how the blush spreads across your cheeks. “Prettier than mom, Step dad?”
“Don’t fucking call me that, yuck.” You snort in laughter now, as Toji runs a hand through his hair. “We just fuck a lot, never put a label on it. But she’s been blowing me off for a month, so I came to town and thought I’d surprise her.”
“Well you surprised one of us.”
“So who broke up with you?”
“Boyfriend since high school.”
“Ouch.” You nod a bit, blinking back odd emotions. For some reason this random stranger who fingered you, thinking that you’re someone else, listens better than most people lately. “Well fuck him.”
“Yeah?” He nods, and you giggle. “Fuck him. I like that.”
“Shit, want another drink?” You nod, and he bends down, opening them both, standing between your thighs as he hands you the cool bottle, condensation seeping against your overheated skin. “Your mom really is something else though.”
“You’re telling me. You know you’re on her roster, yeah? Dad said she’s got a fantasy league.”
“Well fuck her too.”
“Fuck both of them.” You agree, giggling again, as you study him. “You’re kinda hot, for an old man.”
Toji glares now, only making your heart flutter, as you observe his strong, jacked muscles, he’s insanely buff, veins popping out of his strong arms, his neck, the shirt he’s wearing hiding damn near nothing. “Old man?”
“Mmm, you gotta be her age, older?”
“You’re a little fuckin brat. I look old to you?” Toji leans close, hands pressing against your bare thighs now, and you feel your cunt fluttering around nothing, breath quickening when he leans close. “Asked ya a question, doll.”
“Doll? Old man shit.” You whisper back, he grins then, a flash of white teeth, setting down your beer on the counter, big body completely overtaking your every sense, every thought. The only sounds then are of both of your breaths, coming quicker as your heart pounds in your ears, when a big hand cups your face, thumb pressing on your pulse point, feeling it flutter.
“Say that one more time, doll. Couldn’t fuckin hear ya?” You bite your lower lip, as he drags your panties down, smirking as he eyes them. “Should’ve known you’re not your mom, what kinda panties are these? My little fuckin pony!?”
“Fuck yourself, old man.” You earn his devious scowl, you see the vein in his temple throb now. “Are you stealing them!?”
He has them shoved in his pants as he shoves you back, head pressed against the cool backsplash of your kitchen, as he eyes your pussy hungrily, moaning now as your breasts heave up and down, heart pounding. He’s eyeing you like you’re some meal and he’s fucking starved, thumbs slipping down your puffy lips, spreading your pussy wide for his view.
“Oh my… fucking… your…” He is at a loss for words, gulping now as he eyes your pretty face, seeing how dilated those pretty eyes are, opening you to watch the arousal pool out of your tiny hole.
“Nicer than my mom’s, step daddy?” He glares, and you barely giggle before he smacks your pussy, making you cry out. “The fuck!?”
“You’re such a brat. They’re not teaching ya’ll shit in college anymore, huh? Should I give you a fuckin’ lesson?” He demands, smacking your pussy again, making it sting so good, you’re nodding eagerly, gasping when he spits right on your pussy, watching as the white bubbly liquid oozes down your pretty pussy. “Hah- would ya look at that…”
“D-didn’t answer.”
“You really got some mommy issues, huh?” He demands, raising a brow as he slides two thick fingers through your slick, sticky cunt, watching as trails of saliva and arousal leave little stringy trails.
“Maybe I need daddy issues, too.” You whisper, earning his fingers shoving deep in your cunt this time, the stretch too much, you’re struggling to even take his fingers, when they press up inside your slick walls and hit that spongy spots, you scream out, a sound you’ve never even heard.
“Daddy issues too, huh? You’re a freaky little brat, aren’t ya?” He leans close, lips hovering, you taste the alcohol on his breath, fingers curling in your soppy little cunt, making you whine. “Pathetic, can’t fucking talk?”
“P-please…” He moans then, kissing you desperately, while his fingers find you better than your years-long boyfriend ever could, making your tummy fill with pressure as he works you quicker and quicker.
“So sweet now, huh? Guess what, doll?” He murmurs, sloppy as he bites your lower lip, tongue dipping in and out of your mouth, you mouth the word ‘what’ as he pulls his fingers out, sucking on them, moaning. “That pussy is prettier, and yummier, but you sure are fucked up, aren’t ya?”
“Beyond fucked up.” You manage to whisper, he moans again, because your version of fucked up fits his so well. Soon he is picking you up like you’re nothing, carrying you over to your mom’s bed now, he has you on all fours, shoving your skirt up, your thighs are trembling.
“Wonder if she feels better, huh? M’gonna find out.” He whispers, before burying his face in your cunt, and drinking you up, his cock throbbing now, you’re way sweeter than your mom, your pussy is so yummy he could eat it for hours, for days. He grips your firm ass, pulling your thighs apart to shove his tongue deeper.
“Oh my g-god…” You whine out, trying to close your thighs, to pull back. “Just fuck me… what’re you…”
“Ha, I like to eat first, brat.” He shoves you on your back now, yanking your top off, moaning as your pretty tits bounce out of it, leaving you just in a slutty school girl skirt that makes him think filthy things. “Hold these fucking thighs open, or I won’t even fuck you, I’ll just eat it.”
“You want to!? Wh-what- I- ah!” You’re screaming out as he bites on your clit now, your hands yanking on his silky hair, trying to pull him off you, but he’s latched a hungry mouth on your clit, moaning then. You’re dripping down onto your mom’s blankets, you’d feel bad about that later -maybe- for now you’re too lost in the way he’s looking up at you, while his tongue licks a stripe up your slit.
“So fuckin yummy. Yeah I wanna, shit how pathetic are these college boys, huh? Ain't ate you out right?” You shake your head nervously, as he picks your little body up and shoves you where he needs you, he takes you over with his big grip, smirking against your inner thighs. “Cum f’me doll, like a pretty lil slut.”
“Little… slut!?... you- ah!” Your walls flutter around his tongue now as he fucks you with it, nose bumping your clit, chin digging in right against your little ass as he drinks you up, messy slurping sounds mixing with your cries.
Toju Fushiguro drinks every bit of you up as he spreads you wide, shoving your thighs up now. “Hold em.”
You eagerly obey, holding up your thighs so he has even better access, now flicking his tongue in little circles, finger back inside you, using both until you’re cumming all over his face, drenching him with your slick. He licks you through it, watching you arch your back, watching you scream out in pleasure, shaking and panting.
“Mmm, that’s it, doll. Cum so much more than her, don’t ya? Messy lil fuckin’ slut.” His words should irritate you, but they edge you on, as he flicks his tongue on the underside of your clit, teeth grinning against it as it twitches, as you cum more, until you’re soaking everything, screaming and trembling. “There ya fuckin go.”
“What even… a-are you!?” You whisper weakly, blinking back stars, making your vision so blurry, Toji leans over you, face glistening with you, he licks the scar on the corner of his mouth, smirking at you.
“Not an old man, am I?” You bite your lower lip.
“You are-”
“Open, brat. Now.” You nervously do, then he’s spitting in your mouth, smirking as you choke on it, shutting your jaw closed. “Mommy didn’t let me spit in her mouth, you’re nasty aren’t ya?”
“Oh fuck you!? Ah!” He’s standing now, yanking you to where you’re bent over, mouth against his cock that he’s pulling out, watching it smack on his tummy, as you eagerly shove up his shirt.
“Gonna shut that pretty mouth the fuck up.” He yanks off his shirt as you hungrily start lapping at his salty precum, drooling from his reddened tip, he hisses then. “Ya that cock hungry?”
“Fuck my mouth.” At that Toji loses his mind, while you’re bent over the bed, sucking him as deep as you can, saliva pooling as you deep throat him, ending him with how you worship his cock.
“Cock hungry…. Lil fuckin… what the… holy f-fuck! Doll…” Toji’s a mess for you, somthing he’s never been, as you’re working his cock with your mouth hungrily, and he’s pulling your hair into a pony tail, fucking up into your hungry, slutty throat.
You’re breathing through your nose, trying to take more and more of him as he wrecks your esophagus, you can’t wait for him inside you, you think as you’re sucking him as hard as you can, tears in your eyes. Toji’s groaning, not even moving you, just gently holding your hair back as you work his cock up and down, until he can’t take anymore.
He yanks you off him, shoving you on your back, pulling a thigh up over his arm as he lines his tip with your slutty little hole, and you whimper just from his thick, mushroom tip pressing. “You’re not a…”
You giggle, breathless. “No, not a virgin, why ya want me to be? Wanna fuck your girlfriend’s virgin daughter, pervy old- ah!” Toji’s glaring, shoving his thick cock so deep in you then, you scream out.
“Why ya feel this fucking tight!? Loosen the fuck up, slutty brat.” He huffs now, you’re gripping him way too tight, walls pulsing like you’re trying to milk him, while your pretty face screws up.
“You’re t-too big- shit!” You’re wincing now, legs shaking when he smirks, earning your little glare.
“Can’t handle me doll? Where’s all that talk?”
“Give me a second.” You’re struggling to breathe when he pulls his cock out, slapping it on your overheated cunt, slathering it in more of your slick before shoving it back inside, filling your pussy up so good he can see himself in your tummy. He moans now, pulling back.
“Look at that, fucking up your guts, brat- ha!” Toji jerks his cock in deep now, hands gripping your hips as you look down, gasping as you see the enormous bulge moving in your tummy. “Gonna fuckin ruin ya doll, for anyone.”
“Wh-what- ngh! Oh my god, Toji!” You’re whimpering as he moves, eyeing that bulge hungrily, his dark green eyes glinting, so dilated they’re black.
“Nah, don’t call me that.” He fucks into you now, thrusts wrecking your cunt as his tip bruises your cervix, bed creaking with the force of his thrusts. He has sweat dripping down onto your skin just a bit as he watches your pretty face. “You feel s’much better than any… oh my… pussy s’fucking tight, feel her…”
He’s shoving harder, faster, thick tip dragging on your walls, hitting some spot that makes you scream, Toji grins when he notices, pressing the spot again and again as he fucks into your soppy cunt. His balls smack your little ass, with arousal drooling down that hole, as you hear the ‘pap-pap-pap’ sound mix with the smacking of your skin.
“There, ya wanna cum all over this cock, huh lil girl?” Your brain short circuits, you’re pulsing around his cock as he pushes you over the edge, cumming so hard it makes the oral he gave you look like nothing. You’re weakly clinging to him, mouth opening and closing, eyes rolling back in your skull. “Look at you, cockdrunk, aren’t ya slutty girl?”
You can’t answer, not when he’s balls deep in your cunt, stuffing you so full, his big brutal hands digging into your waist. After your orgasm wracks you he yanks his cock out, making you whimper. “Back in…”
“Slutty lil brat, wait a minute.” He flips you on your tummy now, shoving back in you, so deep like this you’re a drooling mess, so fucked out you have no thoughts, you can’t remember you’re in your mom’s bed with her ex, a man twice your age, not when he’s wrecking your cunt so good.
Toji can’t remember ever even fucking anyone else, not when he’s buried in your tight little hole, you’re taking him so good. “Ngh! Toji…”
“Ha, no. What’d I say?” Toji pulls you by your hair, arching your ass up as he slips his cock so deep in your hole, pounding you over and over, licking up your neck, all the way to your chin, before he lands on your lips. “What ya gonna call me?”
“Old man? Ow!” Toji shoves his cock so deep it’s brutal, mean tip bullying your sore little pussy, you whine pathetically, head falling back as he makes you face him.
“Nah, answer right or I’ll pull out.”
“D-don’t!”
“So desperate, huh?” You just whine, as he wraps a hand around your throat, fingers so long they take you over. “Answer me, doll.”
“Desperate f’you…” You’re whispering the words, closer and closer while he’s pressing your throat, sucking your oxygen away while your pussy makes a bigger mess, leaving a huge wet spot on the blankets, now rumpled from him flipping you like a doll.
“Then how ya gonna address me, brat?” He huffs, and you look into his eyes then, reflecting how fucked out yours are.
“Daddy.” You whisper, and it ends him then, he lifts your ass up, shoving your face into the soft matress, fucking into you with hard, brutal strokes, smacking your ass over and over as you tremble, cumming down his veiny length until it’s so messy he almost slips out.
“That’s it, no one’s fucked you like this, huh doll? No one beat this pretty lil pussy up like that?” You weakly whine, nodding as he rocks his cock into you over and over. “Feel so fuckin good, best pussy I ever… oh like she’s made to take me? F-fuck… milking my cock…”
The sounds of his slapping skin and cock wrecking your sloppy pussy are ridiculous, mixing with your muffle moans and his stuttered gasps, as you clench him so good he can’t remember another pussy. As he fucks you so good you forgot you had a boyfriend, fucking every thought you ever had out of your dumb, fucked out brain.
“That’s it, taking me like that, good lil fuckin girl…” You’re pathetic and dumb at his words, nodding weakly when he pulls you back up on your knees, yanking you by your hair, pricking pain that makes your eyes water. “Want me to fill this pussy up? Knock you up? Get your mommy so fuckin mad?”
“P-please daddy…” You’re whimpering, speaking insane. “M’on the… p-pill… s’okay, please…”
“Fuck…” Toji slams up in your pussy now, tip hitting over and over until you feel him pulsing then, big hands brutally gripping you, rippling the skirt still slung up on your hips. “Oh my god… gonna fill your pretty pussy s’good…”
You’re shuddering when he pumps his hot, endless load in you, whining out a pathetic- ‘d-daddy…’
“That’s it, no one filled ya like this, huh?” You shake your head weakly, as his hot gooey cum fills your cavern, all over every inch of your walls, so much it’s dripping out in blotches, all slick with you, down his balls, down the bed. He moans, shuddering and then leaning over you, pulling your chin to him. “Perfect pussy, she’s just so full of me, huh?”
You nod weakly, letting him kiss you, nasty and messy, as he slows his thrusts, pushing his cum further and further in your soppy hole, so deep. “Too much…”
“Oh, doll, I got so much more for ya.” He flips you again, smirking down at the mess you are, smacking your pretty titties as his cock drips down. “So, am I old to you, hmm?” You shake your head quickly. “Good girl, gonna reward ya, finally keeping your pretty mouth shut.”
He unzips the skirt finally, showcasing your entire body to his hungry eyes, he smacks your titties again and again as you struggle to come to, before kissing down between the valley of your breasts, lower down your tummy, until he pulls your lips apart, smirking. You’re whimpering, so sore, while he eyes your pussy, watching his white semen pour from your abused entrance.
“That’s it, look at ya doll, took m’cum so good.” He shoves your shaking thighs apart, lapping at his own cum, you gasp.
“You’re… n-nasty I swear… the fuck- mmm!”
He’s chuckling, lapping all his cum that’s pouring now, you’re so sensitive you’re twitching, when he leans back over you, grabbing you under your chin. “Nasty, doll? You’re getting fucked in your mom’s bed, this old man’s cum pouring out, makin a whole goddamn mess.”
You gasp out when he spits his own cum in your mouth again, making out so sloppy and nasty, but you’re rolling your hips up, earning his soft laugh. “T-Toji-”
“Ah-ah.” He smacks your cheek, you inhale sharply.
“Daddy.”
“Whaddaya want daddy to do now?”
You blink a bit, taking a breath. “Eat all your cum outta me, put more in me.” He moans now, diving back down, licking your cunt clean as he drinks you both together, his salty, bitter cum, your sweet pussy all on his tongue, his big hands pressing into your thighs, bruising them. “Daddy! Daddy… Fuck me…”
Toji moans against your cunt, you’re screaming out then, as he has his face buried between your thighs, right when the door opens, but you’re both too fucked out to hear as your mom walks right in. She gasps then, watching her ex-boyfriend licking his lips, leaning over her own daughter.
“Toji Fushiguro, what the fuck!? My daughter!?” Your mom’s trill voice sobers you both up, you gasp, trying to cover yourself up with a cum soaked blanket, as Toji grins, licking you off his lips, scar stretched in a smirk.
“Well, shit.”

Well I know I'm going to hell for this one lol
Perma tags- @alt--er--love @seeing-stars-alt @nanasukii28 @labelt-san @makingtimemine @cuntphoric @n1vi @aldebrana @indiewritesxoxo @loafteaw @moonlitwitchdaisy - Toji tags - @rie-star @lavenderdaydream97 @xd3pr3ss3dx @winterautumn @g00seg1rl @lastsubstance - @getoisinnocent requested Toji, and @airandyeah wanted more Toji (sry this is so filthy loves lmaooo)
Toji Masterlist
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji x reader#jujustu kaisen#jjk x fem!reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushigro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader smut#toji x reader smut
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just smelled the scent of the Chinese restaurant that's been closed for almost a decade so vividly I got brought back to the feeling of the thin plastic bags HOW

#wow actually me talking#God I miss that place#Used to go there with my dad and I remember sitting in the small room with two tables waiting for the meal pickup#It was my absolute favourite place in the world and I was so crushed when it closed man#But that's almost ten years ago now and that's so weird to think about#And every time I walk past the bar that took its place i can almost feel the Memories of dark nights with the warmth of my favorite food#But they knocked down some walls and the only thing that can prove that it ever existed is my memory#Or something#Sorry mutuals but I'm inflicting your dash with childhood nostalgic grief tag rambles 😔#Also I'm not even at where the restaurant used to be I'm at the train station????
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It’s 3 AM, but fuck it, we’re being domestic | Prompts
Alternatively, just some fluffy domestic romance prompts, but they feel more cute when they’re in the middle of the night because one or both of the ship characters are insomniacs.
Dancing together in the kitchen, in the refrigerator light, and then sitting on the kitchen counter, eating ice-cream directly from the carton.
Walking barefoot on the dew covered grass, hand in hand, under the stars.
Sitting on the floor trying to piece together IKEA furniture because one person got obsessed with finishing it the same day.
Middle of the night cooking, except it’s making the weirdest most absurd dishes imaginable, just for fun.
Making love, except it’s on the bedroom floor.
Cleaning cupboards or attics and finding lpppittle mementos, childhood pictures, etc and talking about memories.
Midnight drives with street food pit-stops and making out with the car radio playing in the background.
Tossing a smiley stress ball around the house watching it knock into furniture— Bonus, if one person is tossing it and another is scrambling around trying to make sure no furniture falls over, causing squabbles.
Gossiping about annoying relatives/friends, parents etc.
Making each other coffee, except the rule is: adding all of the other person’s favorite ingredients PLUS one mystery ingredient which might be good bad or ugly. For funs~
Late night massage sessions because they’re old (they’re not even thirty. Maybe they are.) and their back huuurts.
Ramp Walk/Modelling sessions where one person tries out every single outfit in their closet, and the other one rates or judges them all and gives (mostly useless) opinions.
Doing laundry except they can’t put the clothes out for drying because there’s no sun, so they spread them all over the furniture (only the stuff that doesn’t go bad with the water-) and switch on all the fans.
Weird selfie poses and filming random tiktok dances.
Alternately, sitting side by side on the bed (or the floor—) deleting old pictures from their phones to make storage and laughing about embarrassing old pictures. (A “my phone might die of lack of storage but that super embarrassing picture of yours from six years ago isn’t going anywhere!”)
One of them randomly googling super random shit and telling those facts to the other person, and the other one, super sleepy, just nodding along to everything.
Painting dates where either both of them are amazing artists or neither of them are, (or one is and the other isn’t) and they switch canvases periodically to finish each other’s paintings. (Chaos for the ones who can’t paint, and two beautiful art pieces for the ones who can~)
Alternatively, one is an artist and the other models for them while being utterly sleepy bc Artist has insomnia :D
One is a musician and keeps the other up all night with the music. Or alternately, the partner has insomnia and the sleepy musician plays them something to pass the night (and what if it turns out to be a lullaby-)
Turning the junk, broken and useless stuff in their house into a rage room for the night.
Learning crocheting from YouTube and making each other weird little woollen mementos. (Could go for anything really. Learning shit with esch other in the middle of the night from YouTube—)
Annnnd that’s about all I got :3 I’ll probably be back with more! Prompts welcome~
#imagine your otp#otp#otp prompts#otp writing#writeblr#writing prompts#prompt list#GIMME PROMPTS#Domestic prompts#fluff#fluffy prompts
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while i do understand that objectively speaking botw & totk are far better than most of their predecessors, i have also decided that that sign cannot stop me because i cant read. twilight princess forever
#i say. while playing skyward sword#is this mosty nostalgia. yes.#is tp my favorite zelda for the same reason that shadow is my favorite sonic character. also yes#is this in part because some of my clearest childhood memories involve me watching my dad & cousin play tp on the wii#back when i was Really Fucking Small#think like. 2 - 5. somewhere in that range#yeah basically#part of the reason why its my favorite zelda is literally because as a kid i got so used to seeing HER#that when i started digging into other zelda games i was SHOCKED. most zeldas were blonde
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