#but this one has so much joke potential

[tonhalszendvics]

An Inheritance Cycle story I'll probably never write, but this sucker doesn't want to leave me alone. Long story short under the cut.

Selena was said to be a super spy/assassin type of character, except that people knew about her. I mean, Jeod did, and Brom was a very secretive guy, I am pretty sure that Jeod didn't hear about her from him. And then Galbatorix named his secret service after her, because there was fear connected to the name 'Black Hand'. Thanks, Selena.

Okay, so the AU goes like this: Selena is a super spy/assassin. Nobody knows, who is she, what is she doing, who is she working for. Some people suspect the king, but then she shows up and asks someone else for a favour in a name of a lesser lord or something. She is changing like the weather, nobody knows what does she look like exactly. Want to hire her for a job? Good luck. You were able to get into contact with her? Consider the job as done and yourself as absolutely poor, because even her smallest service costs a fortune.

And then Brom meets her. They don't tell shit to each other, for sure, but the spark is there. So, things are going on their way, Eragon is born, but in this AU, there is no egg-race, Selena just hands the kid over to Brom and says that he'll be more safe with him. Their meetings are scarce, but Eragon gets to know his mama.

Until he's around six or seven years old. Because then something happens in Uru'baen, there is a big boom and a shitton of dead people in the castle. The king and Morzan are furious. A blue egg vanishes.

Mere days later – too soon, so Selena was already on her way when that shit went down – Selena comes to meet Brom and Eragon for the last time, with her eyes blindfolded, because then she'll be able to say that she didn't see them. She tells Brom that she has a husband in Uru'baen. Her and Brom's thing started on the ground that she was missing the night-time company, but she started to have feelings for him. But now, she has to go back to her lord, whom she had sworn to. She has to, because otherwise her other son will be hurt. She doesn't say names. Brom knows, that it's too dangerous.

It also dawns on him that most of the information he's got from her was via her husband. That guy must be a big shot in the Empire. They promise each other that if the Empire goes down by a miracle or something, they'll meet in the end, and if they still love each other, they'll find out what the hell to do.

Then time flies and war-wise most of the canon happens. There aren't much from Selena, but she still succeeds telling this and that to the Varden via secret letters and always changing ways. She was able to hand over some top-secret, very valuable information to the Varden. The communication is one-sided, though, they cannot reach her.

A bunch of victorious Varden are cheering in the occupied capital, when the news come that after the king's death, Morzan put down the sword without anything. He even kneeled on the ground and let himself be tied up, while Brom was trying to avoid having an aneurism. I mean, Brom wanted to kill the guy since forever. Their epic dramatic duel, however, was nowhere near to the end, when the king died. And it wouldn't be honourable to kill a surrendered soldier, especially if his son returned back from the palace right in the moment when he wanted to behead him. Nahh, he has to be the bigger guy.

If Brom is not able to kill Morzan in the battle, then he'd do that through a trial. Everybody is very happy to attend and throw in their two cents, Eragon understands all the hatred, but he still feels very uncomfortable because of all that combined hatred. And Morzan doesn't say anything, he takes it without a word, maybe corrects people here and there when they mess up listing his sins.

And boom, there is Selena. She comes, bows, smiles to Brom then says to Nasuada, that she was promised amnesty for her and her family for her services, and his son is in big trouble because of the occupation, so if they would be so kind to provide her the needed document, she is off already, she and her family won't mess with their schedule for the rest of the day.

Eragon is obviously overjoyed, that A) mama is alive; B) he gets to meet his big brother. So he obviously prods everybody to hurry up with that amnesty.

Document in her hand, the ink still wet, she turns on her heels and in front of everyone, she asks Morzan, that what does he know, where is their son. And Morzan answers. Then with a word, loosens the ties on him, stands up, and when people draw swords, he adds in a mocking tone, that pardon, I was granted amnesty just now via my wife, and as you've heard, my son is in grave danger, if you'd excuse us. Eragon, dear boyfriend-in-law, want to come?

It takes three seconds for Brom to realise, that Morzan meant him, and then he has to try very hard the second time that day to avoid an aneurism.

Anyway, they go, get Murtagh out of that dire situation, because it turns out that little children are actually pretty cute and able to melt a war criminal's ice-cold heart, so Morzan was a good dad this time, and he and Selena were blackmailed with him. That trouble thingy back then, that separated Selena from the other side of the family was when the king found out that his general's heart changed, and that Selena was also a double-spy, so boom, he took Murtagh away, and suddenly the parents were absolutely A-class thralls again. Idk if Murtagh was even out in the battlefield this time, or every stuff he did was handed over to Morzan, while he was in house arrest somewhere. (Does he even know how to fight or is he Orrin No. 2 with all the science?)

Anyway, Murtagh and Eragon bond over dragons in zero second and decide it's the best for them if they just leave their parents to be. Brom needs a bit of time and a bit more cajoling from Selena to loosen up, but in the end they are a traumatised and super messed up polycule. Morzan regrets that in the moment he says something and Brom answers with a mortifying secret from their childhood. They might end up in a fist fight. Selena doesn't say anything to them (too busy getting slate tablets), because in the end they kiss (and she has to make fairths).

That was the AU in a nutshell. I hope this one will leave me alone now. :') Thanks for coming to my story night, take care!

[baalzebufo]

yearly random gideon event is now occuring

he may have only gotten like a one-sentence mention in the book of bill but that doesnt stop its release from making me remember my favourite worst child

[oifaaa]

no bc despite all the flaws with the writing of the female characters in bnha, horikoshi kind of ate with not making froppy an "uwu frog so smol" character and instead making her asshole adjacent to bakugo -- idk their dynamic makes me giggle

I wouldn't really call Tsuyu a asshole she's more just blunt which I guess can come off as asswholeish at times

[chiquilines]

Midjoke appreciation post ladies and gents because they're so <333

[roseetube]

Been playing around with some aus!!! Magical girl aus are good for the soul!!! ALSO! ALSO!! IM ATTENDING NY COMIC CON ON SATURDAY!!! I swear if the 7 train isn't running, im gonna spontaneously combust!!!!!! And now it's time my mandated 100 tags (well 30, actually)

[fisheito]

hiya l'il-- medium?...large?? Assorted Sizes-Guy

oh thanks! i could always use more spices-

. what am i supposed to do with this.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

https://x.com/captainh4ndsome/status/1774282734288138451?s=46

I saw this series of quotes and why do you think that hat has three stabs from buggy? Is it truly connected to shuggy? Could shuggy really be that important???

so, here are the tweets in question. (one of which is from @goingbuggy! hi there! this is, what, the third time someone’s asked me to talk about your tweets? i guess at least one of my anons is a fan.)

i have wondered a time or two whether in oda’s early planning it might have been buggy who gave shanks that three-slash scar. (i’ve heard that oda originally had a five year plan for one piece, though i’ll admit i’ve never sought out a direct source for that.) in that case, the slashes through the hat might have been intended as foreshadowing.

but since buggy wasn’t the one to make that scar, instead it leads us to draw comparisons between these characters who both have wielded three blades on one hand. and maybe it’s just because they were both written as foils to luffy, but i find comparing buggy and blackbeard very interesting!

similarities:

former warlord of the sea/current emperor of the sea

devil fruit user

served on a big name’s crew back in the day

intentionally went under the radar/overlooked for years

doesn’t really buy into concepts like “loyalty” or “honor,” happy to turn on a crew mate or backstab an ally if it’s to his advantage

used to wield three blades but these days prefers explosive-adjacent weapons

not happy to see red-haired shanks at marineford

differences:

fell into those positions by chance/years of plotting to get into those positions

a devil fruit with zero combat utility (besides avoiding damage)/possibly the devil fruit with the most combat utility? (though, unusually, he can take damage while wielding it)

their reasons for going under the radar (fear of being hunted down/working towards a secret goal)

the consequences for overlooking them (for shanks: losing buggy/losing to bb, or at least taking a very bad wound from him; for others: misinformation on a global scale/the literal paramount war)

buggy is a strong believer in the captain-crew bond, which bb absolutely does not buy into

type of three-bladed weapon (three throwing daggers, suggests flexibility, hidden motives, a preference for distance fighting; claw weapon, suggests light-footedness, straightforwardness—you know when a claw wielder is about to start fighting, he’s gone and put the claws on)

type of explosive weapon (bombs, suggests pre-planning, a preference for distance fighting, maximum damage for minimum effort; guns, suggests a flexibility on distance vs melee range, a willingness to threaten rather than kill outright)

why they didn’t want to see shanks (ugh, that guy pisses me off/i think that guy might literally kill me lmao)

[oddly-casual]

Mutant Mayhem Spoilers

(Donnie appreciation post, he’s a little instigator)

Okay I’m being a little Dramatic abt the instigator thing, but I think I’m mostly right.

Before MM was released and all we had were trailers I heard a lot of people talking about the potential dynamics of all the brothers, mainly that Raph was going to be the Rebel older brother that Donnie and Mikey follow with Leo being a wet blanket.

And while they were right about Leo being a wet blanket sometimes (it’s the anxiety), I think Donnie takes the mantle for a lot of the rule breaking and planning in this movie.

In the very beginning when Raph suggests staying out longer, Donnie instantly pulled out his phone and put the idea of the Movie in everyone’s heads. Didn’t even wait for Leo to response before he was off and Raph and Mikey followed. Almost like he already had it locked and loaded.

Donnie is the first one to come up with the plan to gain acceptance through catching Superfly, which all his brothers are immediately on board.

In almost every scene when Donnie is driving he’s always pulling some NASCAR, Mario cart, movie logical racing that gets them out of all pinches, and-

Donnie was the one who snapped out of it the quickest when Superfly was threatening to grind them into powder- able to divert attention and make the whole ‘we don’t like this plan’ seem like a joke and even offering to drive by himself so they could be closer to the machine piece.

He’s also the first one who yells at Cynthia when they’re put in the milking machine, which requires some guts ngl-

Almost every plan or outspoken moment or even quick save is done by Donnie. (With Raph coming in second for those quick saves)

I’m just super happy that Donnie got a ton to do in this movie and we can really see his potential.

And Donnie is still the smartest! He wasn’t the smartest because he was a tech master, he was the smartest because he could drive and he’s straight up the biggest opportunist in the film, with his smarts being more subtle then outright. It’s a different take on Donnie’s intelligence and I’m really glad they did it.

[yardsards]

the carmilla webseries (particularly s3) makes some really interesting points about amatonormativity that i think are probably accidental but still fascinate me.

like there's this intended theme of like, being so devoted to one person that you put them above everyone else, and the harms that can cause. and that theme is primarily explored through laura and carmilla's relationship, especially as a foil to the dean and her beloved. but also with lafontaine and how they kinda subvert that.

(i could write essays analyzing this, tbh)

anyway. the show primarily explores the themes of putting one person above everyone else through the lens of romantic relationships, because that's just kind of the genre they're operating under. but that (again, probably unintentionally) brings up a theme of amatonormativity. because amatonormativity expects you to have one romantic partner and to put them above everyone else, to unquestionably value them more than any of your friends.

anyway, with that background out of the way, what i'm really thinking about currently is danny in s3

there's that scene early on in the season, when danny's all evil vampire mode. and laura says that her and carmilla are "just friends". and danny threatens laura in front of carmilla and is like "surely you wouldn't mind me hurting her/would be willing to let her die to keep the talisman, if you two really are just friends"

and like, while danny is correct in her observation that laura and carmilla's feelings about each kther are clearly not platonic, her logic is absolute garbage. me and the friend i was rewatching it with were both like "??? no i absolutely WOULD still mind if someone threatened my purely platonic friend like that, you'd be a pretty garbage friend to not care". like, danny's logic in that scene is peak amatonormative nonsense.

but then. at the end of the season. it's danny's *platonic* love for kirsch that ends up connecting her back to her humanity. it's kirsch that she finally breaks free of the dean's influence to protect. kirsch that she's willing to risk it all for.

it wasn't laura, the girl she had a crush on. it was kirsch, who she had a whole thing about in the previous season about how she explicitly did NOT have any romantic towards him and 100% solely saw him as a platonic friend. it was her "just a friend" who ultimately ended up meaning everything for her.

[bentacled]

it's been one day and im still pissed when will this end. season 4 had some neat assassination scenes but none of them shined as bright as the writers assassinating the characters like go off monarchs

[liquidchocolatecake]

currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[longagoitwastuesday]

I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills

[9hikers]

star beast was fun but i do wish the jokes abt the doctor previously being a woman were less like... "oh stupid male-presenting timelord" and more "the doctor's gender is Alien and their pronouns are fucking/guess"

[botseeksbot]

[sanstropfremir]

I'm curious. What concept SHINee has done that you find the most interesting, the most well done, and the one that had potential but missed at execution?

hm! potential but missed at execution is DEFINITELY dcm, there was SO much promise in those first set of fake reality promo photos that was pushed aside for appropriative 4th gen nonsense that was not at all necessary. i don't really know what happened with the creative team there and why they got cold conceptual feet, but i'm very sad that they never pushed thru for the full twin peaks-y fake suburbia theme.

most well done? tie between odd and 10f1. both of them were SO influential to the industry that we're still very visibly seeing the effects of them almost a decade later. personally i would put 1of1 slightly farther ahead of odd just because the styling for 1of1 is one of THE best stylings of all time in the history of kpop, and they damn well knew it. i love odd + view so so deeply but its legacy has been a .....worsening of stylings over the last eight years bc it made companies realize they could just put idols in normal clothes and stop investing so much in costuming.

most interesting? hands down tsol. it's so rare to see such a beautiful monument of grief and love so thoughtfully executed. i've talked at length before about the choreographies from this era and how incredible they are, but the cohesiveness of the full album and its aesthetics of nostalgia and examination of their legacy as a group and how they set an optimistic tone for the future is so so so fascinating. i rewatch the tsol mvs (good evening/i want you/countless, not our page bc it makes sob uncontrollably) more than any other shinee mvs because there's endless ways to unpack them and the inherent dichotomy of deep personal grief and having to pretend to be a veneer of yourself as your job adds such a compelling layer to them.