#but this is just an observation after watching episode four
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As someone whose read the high republic novels and knows about the general vibe of those stories. I feel I must say that there is actually a high chance that our main characters will die in the end of the acolyte. Like people are joking or raging about how they would have to die for the prequel to be a thing, but I’m serious that’s actually a very real possibility. One of my favourite things about the high republic is that plot armour doesn’t exist, unless you’re Yoda, and even then it shaky. Considering the dude straight up vanishes at one point presumed dead.
All this to say the Acolyte doesn’t owe anyone a happy ending.
#Star Wars#the acolyte#I’m loving the show so far it got some flaws but it really interesting#i’m going to hold off until the whole shows complete because I want to see it before giving my thoughts#but this is just an observation after watching episode four#I wasn’t sure but I’m more certain now that our main characters are doomed
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My observations from s4 of Umbrella Academy
I dont even wanna talk about the main plot of whatever the fuck that car crash of a season four was, but heres some plot discrepancies I noticed while watching Umbrella Academy.
!! Season four spoilers under the 'see more' !!
- Luther's unnecessary body change
It's stated so clearly in s1 that Luther never gained his body from the marigold or developed it along with his powers. When he was up on that mission on the moon, he had an accident and Pogo had to donate his blood which resulted in Luther having that monkey body we all know and love.
So as Luther drank that said marigold, why would he suddenly gain back the blood donated from pogo and the body that comes along with that..? It's as if the writers themselves forgot why he had that body. Why write in unnecessary body dysphoria for my poor baby?
- Diego's sudden appearance of ab's
Listen. I am the last fucking person to complain about a Diego Hargreeves shirtless scene, where you see his pecs quite literally bounce BUT why did he change so drastically from 'dad bod' to suddenly 'ripped'?
I read an article interview with Steve Blackman and saw a few snippets from a podcast that explained that David (Diego's actor) didn't want to gain weight for the role, which is totally understandable. But if you have an actor who doesn't want to gain weight for this role, why not just keep Diego as fit?
Due to the short six episodes, it's extremely easy to miss how Diego slowly becomes more fit as time progressed. For most, and also myself at first, that fighting scene just looked confusing as fuck. Like two episodes before, Lila was calling you 'tubby' (or whatever the fuck she said), so why do you have abs now?? Where did the dilf diego dad bod disappear to :(
- Allison's beloved Ray just leaving her
I'm not sure if i'm taking this the wrong way completely but... In the scene after Allison had given Klaus the marigold against his wishes, but also to save his life. As Klaus is calling out every member of the family, he mentions how he 'took care of Allison when Ray walked out'.
Like i'm sorry but the fuck do you mean Ray just walked out?? Why did he leave Allison if she had no powers. She'd clearly built a better life for herself and began to change her mindset for the better, compared to s3 she's drastically better.
It's never explained (probably again for the lack of episodes) and it's never even mentioned again. Like does Allison share custody of Claire with Ray? Does Claire even see her father? I have so many questions and once again, a severe lack of answers.
- Klaus breaking his five year sobriety
As much as us as an audience are aware of Klaus' addictive tendencies and his utter thirst for form of drug in the former seasons, but why establish that he's not only been sober for three entire years but he's also now a huge germaphobe just for him to ruin it in five seconds.
The main problem I had with this is the fact none of the siblings, including and most importantly Allison, had zero reaction to this. They weren't upset, angry, disappointed or fuck it even happy. They practically ignored the fact their brothers three year detox went out the window.
Five's ability to time jump
Before I get you all jumping up my arse, i'm fully aware I could discuss how they completely just fucked his character development and his entire personality as a whole for a shitty romance that made absolutely no sense but I'm gonna make a separate post on that because oh boy do I have some shite to say.
ANYWAY.
I can't even go into much detail with this one but why is it that every time five attempts to do his time jumps, he ends up in that subway but when he does it with Lila in that end episode.. he can suddenly just jump..?? normally?? Like why. Why can he now only just time jump as he used too. WHY WAS THE SUBWAY NEEDED FOR OTHER THAN FOR THAT AWFUL FIVE X LILA PLOT????
It's as if the writers couldn't come up with a way to get the brellies into that building with Ben so instead of using critical thinking and writing them breaking in, they just said 'fuck it make him time jump with Lila'. Like no I have questions??
#umbrella academy im so disappointed and just overall let down by this#i honestly thought the ending itself was a good ending on its own#it was bound to happen ever since this cycle of ending the world began. they were the problem#its just these discrepancies and the awful plot lines#like why#diego hargreeves#umbrella academy#umbrella academy spoilers#umbrella academy season 4#klaus hargreeves#luther hargreeves#allison hargreeves#five hargreaves x reader#five hargreeves#diego hargreeves x reader#the umbrella academy
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major hornets nest moment here but i must speak my truth. its so fascinating to me how will byers was clearly written with the driving motivation and intention of making him a beloved fan favorite character and instead he falls so flat that, if you asked the average casual viewer of the show who doesn't engage in the fandom like, say, your coworker, the odds of him even being in their top five of favorite characters is pretty low.
will's disappearance kicks off the plot, singlehandedly. the first episode is literally called the vanishing of will byers. his name is shouted so much in the first season that most people would recognize the reference if you used the right cadence and desperation that winona ryder does. after not being featured much in season one, you'd think season two would've just like launched will/noah schnapp into stardom with how much more screentime he's given and how dramatic his plot is that season. but instead the fan favorites of season 2 were by and large el, hopper, dustin, steve, max, even bob who's barely there. that's not to say that there AREN'T will fans out there (and online i understand there are like entire armies dedicated to him/byler, but i'm talking about the average opinion of viewers as a whole, not just in fandom spaces) but think about all the stranger things merch you see in stores, the halloween costumes, the characters that appear in promotional materials when the show has partnerships with brands....will is so rarely featured. idk if any of yall ever got the chance to visit the stranger things pop up shop in any of its various locations, but there was such little mention of will in the stores theming or merchandise that it was almost funny. actually it WAS funny, to me, someone who does not care for him
i think the flop can be attributed to many things. one, noah schnapp is just not a very good actor and he doesn't have the same appeal in his performances that millie, sadie, caleb, gaten, priah, or finn do (although finn i've noticed is also kinda falling out of favor from majority audiences). one could argue that noah schnapp intentionally isn't given much to do, which is true and i'll circle back to that, but the decline in his acting between seasons 2 and 3 is truly a sight to behold. when he's not like tied up and screaming, he reallllllly struggles on the smaller scale performances compared to the other cast members his age. he doesn't really have the charm that gaten does or the humor that priah does or the depth that caleb does. (i don’t feel bad about saying this, btw, given noah schnapp’s behavior)
back to the vanishing of will byer's screen time. my beloved prettymuchit's eric striffler commented on how diminished will and mike's roles in the story have become in s4. "noah schnapp is below the grips on the call sheet" is my fav line, but he also makes an observation on finn's role that i think is soooo accurate. when mike and will are kneeling down next to the pizza dough freezer and watching el just kinda twitch while she fights vecna in her mind, eric and his co-host miles say "this is so embarrassing! finn's like, 'oh so gaten's fighting the monster? and i'm kneeling next to a tub at a pizza place? i used to be this show" and i think the same exact sentiment can be superimposed onto will
but i think this happened naturally, as the nature of the show is to shift its focus from character to character. not to mention the duffer brothers' obsession with tweaking their story to give audiences what they want. i've always held the belief that there isn't one main character of stranger things, rather a rotating circle of characters depending on the season you're watching. season one is mike, season two is hopper, season three is el, season four is max imo. again that's a little subjective and arguments could be made to swap those a little, but overall i think those characters stories and point of views take center stage during each of their respective seasons. by season 3, the duffers wanted to kick things up to a larger scale. the UD is no longer targeting just will, it's targeting the entire town. this works because a THIRD season in a row where this one kid specifically gets possessed would just be bonkers, so they kinda had to let him take a backseat. i'm not sure why they didn't let will be more involved in the mystery-solving portion of season 3....to this day that decision baffles me, but what's done is done and the will that everyone watched in season 3 literally just kinda follows everyone around and gets a small little slice of a plotline about wanting things to go back to normal, but alas
it like totally worked, though. though there are MANY complaints commonly made about season 3, i've never heard anyone offline complain that there wasn't enough will byers. i think the group in s3 that had the most success like, commercially, would be scoops troop and then a bit farther back i think most audiences enjoyed hopper/joyce/murray's dynamic. i think if there had been a huge outcry in the minimizing of will's role, the duffers would've backpedaled immediately. they aim to please. they can't even commit to killing of a main character out of fear that audiences will lose interest if we permanently lose hopper or max, so they just do some creative writing that allows them to milk the emotional consequence of those characters deaths without actually writing them off. if audiences on a large scale demanded that will be center stage, he would be. but they dont!
final point: i think will gets fucked over by the duffers obsession with romance. in season one, two of will's strongest dynamics are with his mom and brother. which like, yeah. theyre his immediately family and he is 12. but in seasons 2 and 3, jonathan spent all his screen time with nancy and from 2-4, joyce has spent all her screen time either with hopper or in the pursuit of finding hopper. these characters are written together as a package deal, typically. it was refreshing and unexpected to see jonathan get a whole season with a friend of his very own and his siblings, but they barely took advantage of that. jonathan and will get ummmm one (1) scene to talk about their emotions in a fucking 20 hour season. it's hard for will to be a main character when he rarely gets to interact with the people that make up the other half of his main dynamics.
as for byler, im of the belief that it will not be endgame because i just don't think they're going to break up mike and el at this point. i could be completely wrong and stand corrected, but im like 90% sure lol. i do think that will's s4 storyline resonated with a lot of people. even eric striffler! i think the issue is that the vastttt majority of people who watch this show above the age of like 15 do not feel invested about the romantic relationships between any of the kids. because why would they!!! theyre literally in middle school for 3/4 of the show. you would be hard pressed to find a vocal will stan online who doesn't also dedicate 90% of their engagement with the show to byler. which makes sense, because most if not all of will's scenes revolve around mike to some degree. but according to neilsen, the majority of stranger things audience is consistently in the 18-49 age range season by season. its more likely for adult audiences to identify with adults (or characters who are narratively treated like adults, like steve and nancy) than with any of the kids. esp when the kid in question, despite being written as the focal point of the show, has less relevant plotlines, less interaction with other characters, and an actor who just doesn't deliver on charm the way his fellow younger costars do
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To Have and to Hold - Penelope and Colin's journey to self-love
Companion piece - or one might say part 2 - of An Ode to Friends to Lovers.
Goddammit this was not supposed to be or take this long.
Ahum. Some time has passed, and after sorting through all my thoughts and feelings, here it finally is, my endless ramblings about two friends in love, but not only.
If anyone asks, no I did not take this long to write this post because of the fact that when taking screenshots to illustrate some parts of this analysis I ended up rewatching whole episodes instead.
So, dearest gentle readers, here's my Bridgerton s3 review, with focus on part 2, but looking at the season as a whole too; the highlights, the let downs, and polin's full love story, let's dive in, shall we?
The one thing I really liked about s3, something the other seasons could not do, is how so much is structured around parallels and callbacks to previous seasons, in the narration and in the visuals, for both Penelope and Colin. It is the advantage of having a main couple who's been here from the start, and with them, many other characters get weaved into their story, more particularly in part 2. I think that's why I personally did not mind the fact we did not get flashback sequences, unlike previous seasons (although I would have loved to see baby Colin and Penelope meeting... perhaps with Edmund and Violet watching them play and noting how they were childhood friends as well...) And what can I say? I'm a sucker for parallels as someone who loves to look at the details and perhaps overthink things.
So before we tackle Penelope and Colin individually and as a pair, let's talk about:
Eloise's love for Penelope
Eloise ends up being the catalyst for this second part, when she was mostly an observer in part 1. In many ways, she parallels Colin. Childhood friends with Penelope, betrayed by the Whistledown reveal, and yet still caring and protecting Penelope in her own way, which also paralleled Colin. And because I can, here's a small list:
Eloise distracting Cressida so she does not bully Penelope (s3e1) / Colin refusing a dance with Cressida to dance with Pen instead (s1e1)
Eloise running after her at the Four Seasons ball after accidentally revealing her and Colin's secret / Colin running after Penelope at the ball in s3e1
Colin visiting Penelope to apologise for his comment last season and offering the lessons to help her find a husband / Eloise visiting her to apologise and wish her the best in her endeavour to find a husband
Colin leaving to travel and find himself at the end of previous seasons but staying now / Eloise now travelling to Scotland to find herself
Now that we have the whole season, you can tell that in part 1, she foreshadowed how Colin would react in part 2, he just goes through her whole journey in a lot less time. See the direct parallel at the beginning of e5 as Eloise yells at Penelope and storms out, then Colin swoops in and comforts her, and then the end of e7, where Colin is the one upset with Penelope and after he storms out, Eloise is there, hugging her best friend and telling her everything will be alright.
When one is absent, the other is there for Penelope, because despite everything they love her and they know that through the years, Penelope has loved and supported them as well, even if she was still hiding this big part of her. Penelope makes Eloise feel listened to, and makes Colin feel seen. She was their safe space as much as they were hers.
Eloise is also the very reason Colin learning about Whistledown goes so wrong. She is the one pressuring Penelope to tell him, and also the one who eventually tells her to never tell him the truth when Cressida comes forward and claims to be Whistledown. Yes, Penelope is definitely still at fault as well for taking so long to tell him, but to her credit she did intend on telling him after publishing one last column discrediting Cressida, before being convinced to give it up by Eloise. And then when Cressida manages to publish something, and Eloise is terrified about what it means considering she just broke off their friendship, it is to protect Eloise from her ire that Penelope takes her quill again and sneaks out to publish, which leads to Colin finding out.
Then comes her scene with Colin as he asks his sister how long she's known, where all the parallels come through.
"Have you already forgiven her?"
"I want to. Do you think you can?"
Colin goes on to say Eloise is lucky that she's never been in love, implying that his love for Penelope makes it that much harder to forgive. However, he fails to understand that Eloise is in love as well, perhaps not in the romantic sense, but she is, or she would not have been this distraught for a year over her falling out with Penelope, and yet always somewhat keeping an eye on her. And just like how eventually, as push comes to shove, she finds her way back to Penelope, Colin will do much the same as a looming threat comes their way.
She and Colin are also similar in their insecurity regarding Penelope's love for them, and in turn Penelope spends a good length of the season reassuring them. She constantly tells Colin she loves him, especially after the reveal so he knows that this part of her was never deceiving. She reassures Eloise that their friendship is just as important as her love for Colin and she doesn't want to lose either of them.
The fascinating thing for me about Eloise when taking into account Polin, is that in part 1 they needed her to be away so Colin and Penelope could spend more time together uninterrupted, leading to Colin realising his feelings. This also applies to season 2 actually! While Eloise was in the hunt for LW and distracted by Theo, that's what allowed Colin and Penelope to have a full proper conversation about their purpose, and I'd argue that the moment Penelope said "my purpose shall set me free", something started to shift in their relationship.
In part 2, without Eloise, I wonder if they would have even been able to come together without any more secret between them, if she hadn't been the one to push Penelope to tell the truth, and then the one to support her while Colin was processing his own feelings.
Penelope's ambitions and womanhood
Penelope's journey to self-confidence continues in part 2, this time in regards to Whistledown as she finally accepts her as a part of her, rather than a mask to hide behind. Enters Genevieve Delacroix, the only character in this show who knows what it means to be a woman with a business. It is no coincidence her scene in e6 comes after Portia's talk of "ladies do not have dreams" and after Eloise convinced Penelope to give up Whistledown, because it is just gossip. She directly opposes them.
In part 1, she helped Penelope be more confident by providing her with a new wardrobe that fits her better, and in part 2, Gen is the very reason Penelope learns to be proud of Whistledown, own up to the mistakes, and yet fully claim her as her.
And then, the final nail in the coffin to me: Cressida, in a red "revenge" dress, shows up at the Mondrich ball, and wields the Whistledown name as Confident by Demi Lovato plays in the background. Cressida stands tall and proud despite the whispers, and I think a part of Penelope truly broke then. If Cressida could exhume such confidence for a body of work which is not even hers, then why can't Penelope be proud of what she's accomplished? This past week has been killing her, she admits it to Gen the eve of her wedding, Colin was a great distraction but giving up Whistledown, putting down her quill, it truly hurt her, and a part of her cannot imagine giving it up again. And so Gen gives her the very advice she needed to hear.
"There is no such thing as true love without embracing your true self."
And look at the contrast before vs after her talk with Gen:
Colin, of course, shares Eloise's point of view, Penelope should just give it up, and to be fair, he's more scared for her safety, since he caught her alone in the street at night, and then the Queen just threatened the family again. But Penelope cannot stand for that anymore, she is tired of running and hiding. That is Penelope having the confidence to truly be herself. By the end of e7, she's fully bloomed into the woman she's always been behind her quill. The irony being that Colin was also the one who helped her embrace that in part 1, as he helped her bring out that part of her that he's always been privileged to.
And in e8, we see her take the reins. Do what must be done to protect the ones she cares about.
So let's talk about Portia now, because she may not have a business per se, but she had to essentially become "the man of the house" to keep her daughters safe and the fortune they have intact. I've seen people say her redemption came out of nowhere but I concur that in part 1, as Penelope's confidence starts to grow and she stands up to her family, Portia is already trying to be a better, supportive mother, and in turn, Prudence and Philippa follow her lead. Portia is a practical woman, not a sentimental one, at least she doesn't let herself be, that we have seen since the beginning of the show, that's why she was reprimanding Penelope for being reckless with her reputation by asking for Colin's help, and then was pushing for the match with Debling, because he was a lord, who could offer stability, and who would be away most of the time, leaving the managing of his estate to his wife, to Portia that is (or rather, was) the ideal life a woman can achieve.
I loved that they had Portia learn about Whistledown before the public reveal, because then she has to truly face the fact that she has overlooked Penelope all this time, the daughter who is most like her, and Portia is also the only one who points out that Penelope has written badly about herself. It forces Penelope to face the fact that in many ways, she truly is her mother's daughter as well.
Portia ends up being the driving force behind Penelope's decision to reveal herself as well, I believe. Because we joke about how Penelope hid so much money in the floor boards while her family was going broke but mind you, she had no idea they were having money problems, because Portia tried to hide it to not worry them, the same way Penelope has kept her Whistledown secret in the misguided belief that it was for the better, that she could handle the weight of it all on her own. By revealing herself to the Queen, she could free Colin from her mess, get away from Cressida's blackmail and, if the Queen doesn't behead her, she can save her family's title thanks to her writing and money.
Portia's and Penelope's mending relationship was the highlight of the season for me, the true redemption I wanted to see and am glad I got. And I want to point out a little sweet moment in the last episode:
After the Whistledown reveal, as Portia comes over to praise her daughter, she notices Colin looking in their direction. I personally believe Penelope told her about the annulment, and this is her way to support her before she sends her off to have that conversation with Colin. Portia, who's never been the affectionate mother before, gently caresses her cheek and calls her "My girl", because no matter the outcome she will always remain her little girl.
The beautiful thing about Penelope's ambitions is that they were driven by the women in her life, that's one strength of this season to me. She was inspired by Eloise's strong opinions she so readily shared, Portia's sometimes ruthless ways in the way she protects her family and herself, and Genevieve's smart business endeavours and passion. And so she cannot, won't give that up for a society who is so unfair to women, ironically because the Queen herself is so harsh on debutantes. And isn't it poetic cinema that she ends up revealing herself, in her own terms, during the very ball she fully funded? And after that, it is Philippa, her family she mended things with, who saves her from embarrassment by releasing the butterflies? And then the very same Philippa who during the epilogue, happily declares that her daughter can grow into a successful writer who might not need a husband, just like her little sister?
Side note again but it is also interesting that in contrast we had the Mondrich subplot, wherein Will has to let go of his bar to be accepted in high society (and he's clearly not happy about it), because the London elites do not work, yet here Penelope is, owning a business approved by the Queen.
Penelope's ambitions, in turn, inspire others. Portia, into allowing herself to be soft, Prudence to be more honest (the pregnancy hormones probably helped too), Philippa to readily consider other paths in life, and Eloise into finally doing something and discover a little bit of the world.
And she inspires another Bridgerton as well.
Penelope's bravery and Colin's envy
The thing about Penelope and Colin, and that has been said before, is that their roles are reversed. In romance shows such as these, the man is usually the one with a hard exterior, with secrets he wishes to keep to himself while the woman is the one who encourages him to open up by loving him. That is literally s1 with Simon and Daphne. And even in some ways, it is also Anthony and Kate, the difference being that Kate was not trying to get Anthony to soften up, she was directly confronting him so he fixes his shit himself (I still have beef with Anthony, good for him for becoming a My Wife guy in s3 but man, the journey there was tough).
Anyway. With Penelope and Colin? Penelope is the one with the secrets, who wishes, at first, for a practical match so she may gain her freedom. Colin is the soft-hearted and romantic one, who although offers the lessons, keeps asking her if she likes any of the suitors she talks to. And then, it shifts again. Not in the literal sense, Colin has no secret after he's dropped his rake façade, but he does become a bit colder after the Whistledown reveal, while Penelope becomes the one reassuring him she loves him, and emphasising their emotional bond after she's gained the confidence to do so and accepted that a love match was still in the cards for her. But now, they must overcome Whistledown, the last obstacle she's been hiding behind.
"Well, if she was hiding behind Whistledown, how come Colin calls her brave even before the reveal?"
Well, I'm glad you asked, imaginary person in my head! Let's dial back a bit again.
I am a firm believer that Colin's envy towards Penelope (and him realising his romantic feelings) actually started back in s2, during their talk about purpose. She was the one leading the conversation then, who knew what her purpose would be, and to him, that is bravery, being true to oneself and knowing your place. And we see how in s3 part 1, Colin resorts to adopting a whole new persona, something Penelope does not do, even after changing her entire wardrobe and facing the Ton's eyes, she remains herself (and she is capable of acting! She effortlessly disguises herself as a maid and fakes an accent when delivering the Whistledown papers), and I think Colin noticed that. She has a new dress, and her hair looks different, but she's still Pen, meanwhile he, on the other hand, is pretending to be someone else. And when the scandal about the lessons came out, Penelope still showed her face when people were still preoccupied by the scandal. Debling says it best:
"Well done."
"For being a fool?"
"For stepping away from the herd, even though you risked becoming a target."
Penelope's bravery and honesty are the very reason Debling is interested in her, rather than in Cressida; she knows who she is, and what she likes (whereas Cressida adapts). Sure, he was not looking for a love match, but he was looking for authenticity, which Penelope always had. Because she's terrible at hiding her identity, actually. Eloise guesses it's her after listening to her once! Penelope has never hidden how much she likes gossip. In s2e1 she admits it outright that being a wallflower allows her to hear everything.
Colin rereads her letters and realises, wait, she really is Whistledown, she writes the same way, and although he had mixed feelings about Whistledown, he described her as clever, a quality he's always associated with Penelope as well. She says shit like "it would have been suspicious if she hadn't written about this scandal"... like that girl is not good at hiding herself actually, has never been, it's just that no one really paid her any notice and she was not put into the spotlight until now. I think a part of her unconsciously wanted them to connect the dots because the loneliness was getting to her but she was still scared to own up to it, so she continued to lie.
She's always been true to herself to some degree though, which is its own form of bravery, but she's never had the courage to ask for what she wanted before Colin helped her build her confidence. Colin, on the other hand, may be dense and oblivious, but when he wants something, he is not shy about it, and can even be a bit too impulsive. He's the one who always seeks her out and always tries to protect her and make her happy.
In part 2, as Penelope truly embraces all of herself, just like Colin is learning to be more vulnerable and let go of his ego, the dynamic between them shifts. He's the man, but she got the power.
It started when she gathered the courage to ask for that first kiss, which changed everything, and it solidified when she is the one who seeks Colin at their wedding breakfast. In that instant, he's the wallflower, and she's the one pulling him into the centre and dance in broad daylight.
And this translates in the bedroom too as she goes from following his lead to riding his d-
Ahum, who said that? Anyway, topic at hand. As the dynamic shifts, as Penelope learns to truly be herself and Colin learns the truth, that is when his envy and lack of direction in his own life become too much, and he cannot avoid it anymore. Because he thought he had found his purpose at last, be Penelope's husband, take care of her, provide for her, be the head of their family. But now he learns she's been living a dangerous double life this whole time, that she "mocked" him at the beginning of the season, and she might not even need him to protect her as much as he thought she did because she has money and a prolific career despite being a young lady with minimal agency.
And he had already been struggling before the reveal. In all of part 1, he was grappling with his sense of self, realising that pretending was not worth it if he felt empty and if it meant losing Penelope in the process as well. And in part 2, we already saw him struggling with his writing, only able to write again after Penelope tells him she's loved him for years. And then, he refuses Penelope's help to edit his journals into a book because he wants to prove to himself and to her that he could do it on his own. That he is worthy of her love.
Also note that at that point, Penelope had given up on Whistledown, and wanted to live through him by editing for him as well. Just before, we had the scene where she burned her old Whistledown issues at the same time as Colin was writing, suddenly overcome with inspiration (in this regard, I like that the show ends up allowing Penelope to keep the column and still help Colin with his book, rather than her giving up LW like in the book, where she lives vicariously through him. I know she eventually becomes a romance author in the books, and I hope she also reaches that point in the show, but it is nice she does not have to give up her pen first, you know?)
So when Colin learns she's been a published writer this whole time while he was struggling to find a purpose? Penelope started Whistledown in her first year out after all, at the exact same time, Colin wanted to prove to his family that he can be taken seriously, leading to his disastrous betrothal that season. He had needed to travel to find himself, and even then, it didn't give him the answers he was seeking, and no one was taking his newfound experiences seriously, except Penelope. He's a third son, neither the Viscount, neither the spare, so he had nothing to himself. But Penelope is much in the same situation, a third daughter, from a family less fortunate that his, and yet she has accomplished more than he has. He was already so insecure about his love being unrequited but now that he knows she does not even need to rely on him for financial stability and security? Let's dive more into that, shall we?
Colin's self-worth and ambitions
I've seen a lot of people lament the fact that Colin does not feel as much of a protagonist as Penelope, and while I agree to some degree, such argument fails to take into account the fact that he is the reason the season exists in the first place, not just on a meta level because he's a Bridgerton, but because every action he takes progresses the story. Colin is the driving force of the narrative, while Penelope is the heart of it because he loves her.
He offers the lessons to make up for his comment last season, leading to Penelope gaining in confidence. He interrupts Debling's imminent proposal and chases Penelope's carriage, leading to the engagement. He confronts Portia, leading to her re-evaluating the way she treats her daughters and the Featheringtons mending their relationship. He confronts Eloise and reminds her how obsessed she used to be with Penelope, leading to the reconciliation between the two. He follows Penelope out of worry and learns about Whistledown. When the blackmail happens, he confronts Cressida, this time things get worse (his infamous impulsiveness biting him in the ass once more), but it is still furthering the narrative, leading to Penelope taking things into her own hands and revealing herself in her own terms.
His actions are loud, however his internal growth is much more subtle and we get less scenes of him alone compared to Penelope. And that, I agree, is a weakness of this season. I mean, he spends barely 1/8 of the season upset at Penelope, when people act like he was for half the season. If you watch from the start instead of just looking at part 2, Polin have a lot more happy and cute scenes than angsty ones. Hell! They have more kisses than saphne and kanthony in their own seasons combined, I bet (I didn't count, truth be told, but since they get together halfway through the season, as opposed to in the later half, and had their first kiss in episode 2, I think it's a safe bet to make) (Edit from Star from the future here: so I admit I was wrong. Simon and Daphne have definitely more kisses because they had so many intimacy scenes upon rewatch. I just forgot about them, my bad (mostly, I tend to block out That Scene too, so). Anthony and Kate, on the other hand, were robbed. It's kinda funny Bridgerton built a reputation to be quite spicy, only for none of the seasons after s1 matching the same level lol). I also do feel like a few flashback scenes of him during his travels, waiting for Penelope's letters but getting none as he starts to act like a rake to compensate for the loneliness, contrasted with the lesson scenes in part 1 where he is carefree and silly with Penelope could have benefited his character. I personally do not think he was treated as a "love interest", he carries the season just as much as Penelope, but his emotional weight is lesser than hers, and that was an issue with the writing and pacing.
So here, I must redirect to my other Colin analysis post, as well as this one comparing book vs show portrayal, and though those were unorganised immediate thoughts after watching the show (and vague memories of the book), I still mostly stand by them and so I can also avoid repeating what I've already written.
Colin's insecurity regarding love is a direct result of s1 and, once again, Marina. The parallels between Marina and Penelope are kinda in your face, especially with Colin dropping the entrapment line.
Side note but between Anthony and Colin trying to get with a family member of their future wives first, I sure hope we won't learn Sophie is related to Lady Tilly Arnold or something because otherwise there's a pattern within the ABC bros.
Another thing is that when Marina's lie was revealed, she admits everything else was a lie as well, including her love for him. He was a means to an end, and there's no reason to pretend anymore. But with Penelope? She still tells him she loves him after the fact, and several times after that. Note that, just like with Marina, he learns of the Big Secret while they're engaged. Just like for Marina, he could just walk away now, Penelope even asks him if he wishes to cry off, but he doesn't.
Colin and emotional intimacy
I already made a post about this, but I will reiterate some points anyhow this time, because I need to make some comparisons with Book!Colin, since I've seen a lot of people be upset that unlike his book counterpart, Show!Colin is not physically affectionate with Penelope while still angry at her. So to address this, let's talk about his journals. It is no coincidence that instead of beautiful descriptions of places he's visited, in the show Penelope reads about his experiences with the "women in Paris" and how empty they make him feel. In the book, Colin is older, he is a rake and very much enjoys ladies' company, but in the show, he's only pretending to be one. It's one change they made I liked, to make him different from Anthony and Benedict (when in the books, all these men sorta blend together if I have to be honest). He's the sweet, sensitive brother, who seeks emotional and physical intimacy. Sure, he has experiences, especially after being mocked for being too green, but they felt like obligations, rather than acts of passion (Benedict) or distractions (Anthony). It is also significant that every time someone asks him about his experiences in part 1, he only ever talks about one contessa and never brings up other women, unlike in his journals where, of course, he goes into more details, knowing no one can judge him there.
And then Penelope reads those words, the depths of his mind and his insecurity, and yet she praises him for his writing, rather than mock him for his feelings of inadequacy. That is when it clicks in Colin's mind, although unconsciously, because he flashes back to that scene when he realises his feelings - Penelope is the only other person he feels comfortable enough with to share such thoughts. That's why their first time is such a contrast with the carriage scene, where it was a moment of passion as they get carried (hah!) away after confessing to each other. He was reeling from realising his feelings and narrowly stopping Penelope's engagement to Debling. There was urgency and then relief. Here, it is slower, more tender, because to Colin, this is it, this is where he can prove to Penelope that this was not a mistake, than he can take care of her, bring her pleasure like she could never imagine. He makes sure to tell Penelope how much he loves her, he asks her consent several times, he makes sure she is comfortable. It's a little awkward, unlike the carriage scene, because this is the real and full deal and he sure does not want to mess it up. After all:
That's why I'm not too mad we did not get a montage with them. Their two major intimate scenes are long sequences with few cuts, emphasised by their proximity and the comfort they feel around each other. They're emotional. They're supposed to make the viewer feel like they're interrupting. And Colin does not want to taint these two experiences, that's why the last intimate scene we get is after they reconcile (though we deserved a longer one). So, to quote myself: Colin does not let his lust take over when he's upset, because Penelope means too much to him. He does not want to lay together only to wake up in a cold bed and still be fighting in the morning. He wants to be hers, body and soul, fully and assuredly, and until he accepts the fact he loves her because of Whistledown and not despite since they are one and the same, then he cannot promise Penelope all of himself either. In his mind, he may be afraid that this emotional intimacy he felt with Penelope when they laid together will be ruined, or just simply gone while he is so tortured by the Whistledown reveal. Everything else is a mess right now but that part of their relationship? It was pure and sincere, and he wants to keep it that way.
And not to dunk on Book!Colin again but that man had anger issues and could be violent, he knew he was hurting her sometimes and did not do shit to stop that. Why would you prefer that over Show!Colin keeping a respectful distance and yet still staying close to Penelope, trying his best to protect her despite it all?
After all, the only time he gives in while they're still fighting is when they argue in the streets and Penelope shouts "I love you" to his face. That is the first time she confesses in the present tense. And for a second, Colin's walls crumble. He's a sensitive man, after all, even when he's upset, he ends up tearing up, so the declaration of love answering his "Then what good am I to you?", a question encompassing all of his insecurities in a few words, well, it's the emotional outburst that makes him almost give in, if they weren't in the middle of the street with carriages passing by. They were also both tipsy in that scene lol.
And while I'm at it, let's link back to my post regarding the entrapment line and the annulment. One thing I fail to mention (there already are so much, to be fair) is that Colin throwing an entrapment accusation can also be interpreted as him giving himself an excuse to remain engaged. The previous episode, he was worried they got carried away in the carriage (and then their future home) and that Penelope was changing her mind. As already mentioned, at that point, just like with Marina he could just walk away. They're only engaged, and no one knows they have been intimate. Sure, it would go against his principles as a gentleman but honestly he already broke them several times when Penelope is involved. And he knows that. He never actually intends to back down, he is determined to marry Penelope, as he said in that carriage this is "a feeling that is like torture, but one I cannot, will not, do not want to give up". But in that one moment, he was hurt and angry and knew what to say to hurt, and did not want to admit that he would have stayed either way because he loves her (and frankly, in this situation, Penelope is in the wrong and she kinda deserves to feel bad about wanting to hide such a thing from him, even if the accusation itself is unfair). So he gives the decision some duty, some responsibility. He's a gentleman, so he must do what's objectively right. Because that is easier than looking into the complexity of his feelings.
And that is marriage to me. Marriage is not a happily ever after. It's a choice, to stay by someone's side through the good and the bad times. And in that moment, he also made his choice, and knew Penelope would be his wife. From then on, they learn to communicate. They were in sync as friends, but as a husband and wife? That is different, even if the foundation is similar, they need to relearn how to navigate life together.
Episode 8 is all about them figuring this out.
Take these scenes for example. First of all, this has been pointed out by many already but: Colin may be mad, but he still stays close to her by sleeping on the settee just outside their bedchamber instead of taking another room. That's dedication.
Right away, Colin establishes a boundary between them and asks for some space, however, he still waits for her to wake up to tell her rather than leave without a word and having the servants inform her. She's visibly upset about it, insisting he should stay so they can talk, but he still leaves. Halfway through the episode, the situation is now reversed, Penelope emerges, already dressed while Colin clearly has not slept all night, she tells him she is leaving and giving him the space he asked for, and it is Colin's turn to be upset and realising that, no, actually he does not really like that distance anymore.
Note that until that point, they both were very confrontational whenever Whistledown was brought up, Penelope on the defensive and Colin on the offensive, they're both third children who were belittled so that is how they respond - Penelope by standing her ground and refusing to budge, and Colin by attacking and asserting himself. But here, Penelope listens to Colin's wants, and lets go a little. She gives him the space he needs, all the while she is also planning how to fix all this mess without lying to or hurting more people. And then later on again, Colin is the one who listens to her needs and her plan. That is the beginning of a healthy marriage as they both let go of their egos, as they both take a step back to listen to the other and realising they no longer have to do things alone, because actually, that distance between them was hurting both of them. Penelope accepts she can rely on others' support and Colin accepts that it is not what he can do that makes him worthy, but simply who he is.
People lament that in the Whistledown public reveal, Colin ended up not contributing much, as opposed to his book counterpart, but that is literally what Penelope asked him to do. She does not need a hero, she needs her Colin. Kind, supportive Colin, who reassured her with a simple smile and a nod on their wedding day, and who did the same when she stepped into the light once more at the Butterfly Ball. He gives her courage, by virtue of being there and loving her. Just like she gives him a purpose by simply loving him as well. The very thing Colin envied, Penelope's bravery? Well, he is one of the reasons it exists in the first place.
In the book, Penelope had no idea Colin was planning to reveal her identity, until the last, like, five minutes. He also told Anthony and Simon behind her back. I love the balcony scene but it always bothered me that Penelope's agency in that decision was taken from her. Therefore I love that they gave it back to her in the show. Just like she said in s1e8, Whistledown cannot be unmasked but if one day she shall be, then it would be in her own terms.
(I also want to say though that despite my criticisms earlier, Book!Polin remain one of my favourite dynamics in the books because despite it all, they're one of the healthiest couples. They work together as a team, and it helps Colin learned about LW before he proposed. They discuss Cressida's blackmail, whereas in the show Colin first dismisses Penelope in his need to prove himself capable of protecting her. We see them encourage each other in their writing more than in the show (fingers crossed for s4 though!) and they even discuss how they will keep Pen's Whistledown money for their children. They're a team, through and through, and in the show, we see the start of that, which makes sense, their show counterparts are ten years younger, not as mature as they are on paper.)
All through part 2, Colin stayed true to his confession in that carriage. His love was like torture. He was so insecure about Penelope not loving him as much as he does, questioning what good he even is to her and if she just lied. And yet he held on and did not want to give it up, he embraced it rather than ran from it like the other leads we had so far. He was shattered by the Whistledown secret and yet, he remained, worked through his sense of self, through his anger, through his insecurity, because Penelope is worth it. He was willing to lie for her, to lie to Benedict to get the money needed, to protect her. And Penelope clung to him just as fiercely, always reminding him that she loves him for simply being him. One always has worth. That is the validation Colin has always craved, that is when it truly sinks in for him and that he understands her selfless love for him; he does not need to pretend, he does not need to be useful, he does not need to have everything figured out, he can breathe. Penelope will be there every step of the way. Has always been, in fact, she's always been a constant in his life, and now that he is lucky enough to stand by her side and soak even a little bit of her light, well, he sure won't ever let go again.
And to end this section, not really a point of analysis, but shoutout to my girl Pen whose first instinct when she realises she can touch Colin is to reach for his hair and boy does he melt at the touch. Unlocked his hair pulling kink right there.
This is still a friends to lovers story
Fear not, the romcom vibes are still here! I kept this part for the last to end on a sweet note, just like this season. And this is also the part where I stop pretending to be a reviewer and I just allow myself to be self-indulgent, pointing out how cute these two are.
So, first of all:
They just fucked and what's the first thing they do together? Laugh. In the carriage, Colin did make a joke, prompting the laughing but in the mirror scene? They simply look at each other and start chuckling because they are so giddy upon realising this is real, they're best friends, and they're in love, and they'll be married and they will soon be able to do this whenever they want. Then, Penelope lets out a bit of her insecurity, hoping this was just as good for Colin as it was for her since she knew he was more experienced, and when he reassures her, Penelope grins and jokes about "the women in Paris", which she does again during the Mondrich ball, teasing him about the spicy parts of his journals. She is so secure in their relationship, she feels no jealousy towards Colin's past experiences but bet if anyone ever brings up Debling again, Colin would lose it, and I kinda wish we had at least one scene of Colin properly addressing his one-sided beef with Debling.
During their whole engagement (and before the LW reveal), they're just so incredibly in love, so sweet it might give you cavities, and it was such a breath of fresh air after two seasons and one spin-off of the main couple never really embracing their love until the later part of the seasons. The way Colin makes Penelope smile during the reading bans scene, then when they dance alone in the church, or when Colin adds the twirl (the flourish!) during the dance at the Mondrich ball and then when they laugh at the Butterfly Ball when everything is said and done and they can finally, fully be themselves... They are just two romantics at heart who are thrilled to be in love and miss no opportunity to flaunt it in front of the Ton who's always judged them so harshly. I wish I could include videos in this because posting screenshots would not give those moments justice.
And the comedic aspect of the romcom vibes of this season are still present in part 2, although a bit overshadowed by the Whistledown drama but I mean:
Penelope and Colin finally having a chaperone in Portia, and having no idea how to act now because they never had to worry about a chaperone before (and by that point, Penelope is already pregnant)
Poor Kanthony trying to find the right time to announce the pregnancy but here come Polin, getting engaged out of nowhere
Portia and Violet's tentative beginning of friendship, wherein Violet is trying so hard to be polite when faced with Portia's over-enthusiastic attitude
The whole charade scene with Anthony getting so competitive and glaring at poor Penelope when she gets the answers right.
All the times someone brought up Whistledown's imminent unmasking and Penelope taking psyching damage every time (meanwhile in part 1, it was everyone telling Colin how kind of him it is to help Pen find a husband). Peak "actions have consequences huh". She could not catch a break. Which okay, she was panicking and then fainted but I still find it a little funny because girl, you kinda had it coming.
The whole scene of Penelope revealing the money she made with Whistledown and Colin's, Eloise's and Portia's reactions.
And I'm probably forgetting other parts. It has now been confirmed as well that a lot of the reshoots were to make the season more light-hearted, more romcom, and they had Colin be less angry than he originally was in the script (notably after their wedding breakfast), so even if I resent that dreadful wig they put on my poor man, I'm so grateful the season remains, overall, more romcom than true drama like the other seasons could have been, because at the end of the day, this is the love story of two friends who already cared so deeply for each other. Honestly, I'd argue the true angst of the season came more from Eloise's and Penelope's rekindling friendship (and also Cressida's home life) (the true love triangle).
And speaking of truly knowing one another, let's go back to the one thing that brought Colin and Penelope together: the letters.
Note how loosely bound Penelope's letters to Colin were compared to the other pile, because he has kept them with him during his travels this past summer and kept rereading them when she did not respond back. And just like the letters (or lack thereof) were the first clues that something had shifted in their relationship and Colin realises how much he misses her, her letters also become the reason he reconciles Penelope with Whistledown because oh yeah, the writing is the same, clever, sharp, and beautiful, just like his Penelope. As he rereads them, he realises how he himself overlooked Penelope for so long, how he was compelled by her quill, how powerful it was that they made him feel more confident and how their absence made his sense of self crumble. The same way, upon his return, Whistledown calling him out, shattered that new self he had tried so hard to build. Penelope was the reason he found his confidence, then lost himself when she did not respond, and the reason he had to look inward when, through Whistledown, she saw through his facade.
But also isn't it sweet, that he unknowingly always praised her writing? Of her letters obviously, but of Whistledown as well. For all his negative feelings about the gossip column, one thing he always admitted is how clever Whistledown is, hence why he did not even believe Cressida could actually be her. Deep down, he's always admired her writing, even if he did not realise it was her yet. He was so attached to her letters after all.
And speaking of writing? Penelope becomes his muse.
That is him writing about Penelope's debut, proving he's always paid attention to her, between this, him being the one to bring up how they met, and recalling all the times Eloise kept bringing up Penelope in conversations. And he's writing all of this after the church dance scene! After Penelope's declared her love for him and how she's loved him for years! He was lamenting that love made him so simple he could not write a single word, but it is love that fuelled his mind once more and broke his writer's block. And then in the epilogue, he is so proud to say Penelope helped him edit his book, he who, a couple of episodes earlier, was so determined to do this on his own to prove himself, now his pride is that he worked together with his wife and they are building a family, and a writing empire, together.
The season ends as they kiss in front of the very window Penelope often sat in front of, overlooking Bridgerton house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Colin, who now will always be looking at her first. They also now have the heir to the Featherington barony, and they inherit the very house with the garden where Colin first broke Penelope's heart, then mended it by offering his help, then where they shared their first kiss. It is theirs now.
And it's just! They're so in love! I have no other words (also this post is so long, I am getting tired myself I probably sound like a broken record by now).
Conclusion
I think Bridgerton s3 has officially become a comfort watch. I'm never one to really rewatch shows, but this specific season has joined the small list I have. As already mentioned, when it comes to romance, friends to lovers has always been a favourite and Polin is such a good depiction of the trope. They're the gigglers on the side of balls, the ones who did not so much seek the centre stage but were thrown in the middle of it, which fits so well even on a meta perspective because Luke and Nicola admitted they sure did not expect their season to come this early either. They won't be the most popular couple, perhaps, but my God, they are mine. Despite the length of this post, I think I probably still forgot some points but oh well, gotta stop somewhere and I'm sure people more eloquent than I made posts as well.
This season was not perfect, I have a lot more gripes about it than this long post makes it sound like (although they're mostly non-polin related or something about the production), but I like to focus on the positives. And for all its flaws, s3 sure knew how to deliver a sweet romance between two outcasts who found their home with each other.
And with that, dearest gentle readers, this humble author - or rather, this person who fancies themself an author at their lost hours - finally lets their old keyboard rest, and hopes you have enjoyed this long read into a mind with too many thoughts about a gentle, kind man who has a lot of love to give and a fierce, passionate woman who wants to be loved.
(The sweetest little parallel to end this on, ever since s1, he's always seen her <3)
#THIS IS A LONG RIDE YALL GOOD LUCK#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton thoughts#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#polin#eloise bridgerton#peneloise#yes im tagging them too!#portia featherington#character analysis#long post#star.txt#the beginning of this post is lowkey just me arguing peneloise is as canon as polin /j#also posting this as pride month ends but just know polin are demisexual in my heart
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Since you watch lone star too, you saw the whole kidnapping thing in ls 4x04. If 911 did something like that, how would it play out? Who would even get kidnapped? I mean, it's different that being held hostage like in ls 2x08 (in the empty restaurant) or 911 5x06 (in the ambulance itself).
4x04 is one of my favorite episodes and my most rewatched one! I just think Rafael is an incredible actor, and should lone star get cancelled I would fully support him moving to LA and Carlos teaming up with Athena to fight crime (TK can come too).
But getting to your actual question, my buck loving heart would love to see him be the one in peril. He suspects something after a call in a mostly abandoned neighborhood and goes back after work just to have a look around. Bobby’s gone back to a scene before, and that’s why buck feels like he could do it too.
Cue the drama. Cue the kidnapping.
He was supposed to meet tommy after work and he told him he’d be a little late but didn’t say he wasn’t coming at all so now tommy is worried. They’re not at the phase of having each other on find my friend or anything like that, and buck’s not answering so he calls maddie. She hasn’t heard from him but he doesn’t want to worry her so he ends up saying “oh, just got a text! traffic, of course!”
He picks up eddie, then he calls bobby, who tells athena, and the four of them go on the search of a lifetime looking for buck. They call Josh at dispatch and have him ping buck’s phone (and tell him to NOT tell maddie!!!). he does what he can, gets a last known location, but not an exact.
Maddie’s suspicious of course. she talks to chim who talks to hen who calls bobby and when bobby fills her in she tells him about the call at that creepy subdivision that buck wouldn’t stop talking about afterward.
All this while buck is going through it with the kidnappers.
Tommy is on edge. He’s snappy and scared and cuts through every piece of red tape that stands in Athena’s way. Doesn’t care if he can’t legally enter a house, Athena will have to arrest him to stop him. Goes into full interrogation mode with people who may have seen something. Bobby has to hold tommy back once, but eddie just takes over for him.
Athena, Bobby, Eddie, and Tommy find Buck just in time. At the hospital, bobby tells buck the way tommy reacted- that could only be love. The deepest, craziest, most heartfelt love. Bobby knows buck loves tommy too. He should tell him that. Life’s too short not to. The episode ends with tommy coming into the room. Bobby walks out but looks back at them through the observation window as tommy runs his fingers through bucks hair and gives him a kiss on the temple. We don’t hear the I love you’s, but we see buck say something that can only be “I love you” by the way tommy looks at him, then tommy smiles and we see him say it back. They kiss gently as tommy holds onto buck like he’s made of the most precious gold.
The end.
(Sorry wtf did this turn into my bad yall am I gonna have to write this now??)
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More AvA/AvM thoughts and a longer rambling under the cut to get my thoughts out
Admittedly this is all going to come out of the blue but that is my fault for saying nothing about a year old hyperfixation till now. Anywho!
The color gang coming from the online world where all the other sticks live has been in my head since we saw the outside world. Yes they’re way more vibrant then most there but purple and their parents are also a very vibrant trio. So I have my thoughts on the four. Obviously don’t have any parents around (wasn’t my fault for once shocker /lh) and are most definitely not related really. So it gives me the thought of the 4 always being friends since they were small and fighting/playing is just what they usually did with no parents figures other then a care taker.
But then how’d they get on the stick fight site? Well considering it was not until AvA 4 when we saw them they most definitely saw other famous stick fights that wanted to make them be part of it. Hell in AvYT we see at the end they all just wanted to watch epic stick fights. So yeah thought I’d they basically ganged together to make their own site to show off their epic fights together while also living in said site together. Worked well.
Then a certain someone broke down the wall one day and they were like damn this is kinda neat. Kept the site of course it is their literal home but after more and more or AvM they considered the PC, TSC and Alan more as their home and so started staying there more. The little Minecraft houses, finding interests outside of just fighting, and living out their fantasies with the power of minecraft.
They’re still all identical looking for a long time though. I think the accessories I draw them with were drawn by TSC as gifts but not until after AvM 30. They’ve learned so much more at that point about themselves I could imagine being identical as each other and just being “them sticks that fight” still gets a bit old. Course’ they can take off the accessories when they feel so but kept them in the back pocket. TSC hasn’t felt any feeling to change their looks so he hasn’t.
Well then anywho it’s very late and though I have more AvA thoughts I need to contain them for when it’s not 3 in the morning ! So instead some smaller stuff Iv noticed while obsessively observing episodes and shorts (mostly Blue because I heart blue)
Blue unlike the rest of the color gang is very… plain. And I don’t mean this in a negative sense. It’s more a lesser degree of creativity from him on most accounts. He’s not very creative in his solutions most the time and has very straightforward solutions to issues that in his mind are straightforward. Break an axe? Make a new one. Gotta go fast? Drugs Potions that make you faster. Yeah there’s cooking but he never really does anything creative with it outside of adding nether warts like the lil freak /pos he is. Follows a written recipe and taught lesson.
It’s a quiet aspect of him I only really noticed a few days ago. Not that this is a negative aspect again but something that makes him stand out more!
Now then uhh smaller random stuff I just always like. Lush Caves ep, Red realizing oh god he can’t win this fight Vs TSC and started running from them instead. Always makes me boowomp a little thinking about it since Red is kinda the younger usual happy go lucky prankster. TSC I know you’re also young and stressed but continuing to get his ass was NOT the way man,,
Last thought, King just trying to avenge his son only to come out of the situation with like 6 new adoptive kids is very funny to me. They say vengeance is a life well lived so I guess he got vengeance 6 times over. Ok gn (ecplodes)
#ava#AvM#animation vs animator#animation vs minecraft#avm red#avm tsc#avm yellow#avm green#ava the chosen one#I should find better times to write instead of 3 am maybe
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Prompt: Melancholy (Discord Drabble) tw for depression/depressive episode, tbh i've left it super vague.
Eddie sneaks up behind Steve and wraps his arms around his boyfriend's middle. Steve stills, pausing the endless stirring of his coffee.
He had watched Steve doing so for a solid minute before moving into the kitchen, quietly observing after being greeted with a worried frown from Wayne after arriving home.
"What's goin' on?" he says, giving Steve a reassuring squeeze.
"M'fine," he says low, resuming his stirring.
The spoon scrapes and tinkles loudly in their silence.
"Steve..." he whispers in his ear.
"It's nothing," Steve shrugs and turns his head to look at the window by the four-seater dining table.
"Wayne's having a smoke," he explains.
Steve drops his spoon in his Cubs mug and shuffles around to face him. His eyes are glassy, impossibly big and sad as he frowns.
"I don't..."
He stops himself, shaking his head. Eddie reaches up to run a hand through his hair.
"S'okay," he soothes, watching as Steve closes his eyes, "I fear, Sir Steven, you have been touched by a bout of melancholy."
Steve hums, the corner of his lip quirking just a little. But his mild amusement quickly crumples away as he hugs Eddie tight, fists balling as much as they can in the leather of his jacket.
Steve buries his face into the crook of his neck, sniffling away.
Of course, Eddie holds him. Allows him to cling as tight against him as he wants, tears wetting his neck and shirt collar.
And he'll stay like this, as long as Steve needs to. Standing in the cramped kitchen with only the distant murmur of activity outside, the smell of coffee surrounding them.
#oof i found today's prompt a tough one ngl#i mad at myself for making steve sad 😭#stwgdailyprompt#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie ficlet#lilys drabbles#tw depression#tw depressive
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Trouble with a Vulcan
Spock x female reader
Spock was sitting on his t'hy'la's couch waiting for her to return, the enterprise crew was on a two week shore leave and (name) had decided to make the most of it. She went back to her home town to enjoy the scenery, the town was a small rural community and little trouble came it's way. So when (name) said she was going out for a walk only moments before he thought nothing of it. He snooped around for something to do until she returned and came apon her dvd's of old earth movies and shows. Most he deemed illogical but one seemed to hold a value in his sharp mind. Jeopardy. The viewer gained knowledge from watching and knowledge to a vulcan was always exciting. He put in the first disc and sat back.
-----(name)'s pov-------
(name) Was smiling brilliantly the young woman bounced along the streets reacquainting herself with the town. She was walking down a alleyway when a large thuggish man stepped out of the shadows. She went to turn around but her path was cut off by another man.
"Well hello darling. What is a thing like you doing all by yourself?" (name) tried to go past the first man but she was knocked to the ground and her vision blurred before she blacked out
-----spock's pov------
Spock had sat through four episodes of jeopardy, he knew most of the answers and only two were unknown to the half vulcan. He was now starting to worry about (name) she had been gone two hours. The town was not that large, she should be back. He was just getting ready to search for her when the door slammed open, it closed just as quick and the deadbolt was turned into place with a heavy *thunk* followed by a second *thunk* signalling the locking of the other lock. Spock reached the door and saw (name) slumped on the ground. Her hair was matted with mud and blood. Her cloths wear torn and she had several bleeding scrapes and rapidly forming bruises. She was panting and shaking, spock made it over to her faster than he ever had before. He helped to to stand and held her at arm's length
" (name) what happened?" (name) whimpered and tried to snuggle into spock but he held her away from him so he could observe her,
"I went down a alleyway and some men......." (name) trailed off unable to answer, instead she looked up at Spock hoping to find anger in his gaze, anger towards her attackers at least . She knew of the precision driven power in her boyfriend's body and she would love to see him vulcan nerve pinch the two men. However when she gazed at him, he showed nothing not a flicker of concern,anger or even pity...nothing. Since they had started dating Spock had been more lenient with his emotions around (name),he was still as logical as ever but he let her see the human side he so often tried to hide from others. The fact he showed no emotions scared her.
"So you feel nothing after hearing that your girlfriend was attacked? Not a sliver of anger? NOTHING?" The woman was horrified by the fact Spock was still unresponsive. She removed her arms from his still frozen grasp,unlocked the door and fled going to the one place she felt she would be safe, her best friend scotty's house. She flung open the door and fell sobbing into the engineers arms as she explained what happen. Scotty's face did contort in anger and the Scotsman started swearing in his thick accent, that only got thicker as he got angrier .
Meanwhile Spock had finally managed to compute that someone who was not him had dared to touch what was his dared to harm what was clearly marked as his. He was logical and calculating and when it came to the bedroom he was just as thorough when giving (name) love bites around her neck as he was when saving the enterprise from one of kirk's hair brained schemes. The bites clearly stated she was his, his to touch and no one else's. Anger finally came though quickly followed by worry and then confusion as (name) was no where to be found. He quickly thought of the other members of the enterprise crew who she would go to. He searched each crew members house down to places where she would never get to and then he finally figured it out, Mr.Scott! (Name) and Mr,Scott wear close she would definitely go to him in a time of need.
Spock frantically banged on Mr.Scott's door and when he opened it the Scotsmen knew instantly what was up.
"Mr.spock, she asked me not to let you in but I can see you need to speak to each other." Mr, Scott moved aside and pointed at the closed bathroom door.
"Cleaning up" was his only explanation. Spock needed no more promoting and. Instantly he was by the door.
"T'hy'la? You you there? I must speak with you about my actions." He heard a muffled Russian swear,curtesy of Chekov and Scotty drinking nights, followed by a soft sigh, he held his breath hoping she would for once be logical about her actions and let him explain. She was. (name) opened the door carefully and dressed in only her undergarments and a oversized bathrobe. She sighed heavily and dragged him into the bathroom.
"T'hy'la I mu-" Spock was cut off by her placing her hand on his mouth before she lent forward and kissed him
"Spock it's okay, I was over emotional and I overreacted. I couldn't expect you to fully understand what I said in the four seconds I gave you. I am sorry I reacted very unlogically." Spock looked at (name) and enveloped her in a comforting hug
"You never react logically, it is one of the reasons I love you."he whispered as he gently drew his large hands up and down her back and sides in a comforting action. Eventually (name) started calming and she giggled happily at having her vulcan back in her arms and being back in his.
(name) leaned up and kissed Spock with all the passion and love she could muster, Spock quickly returned the kiss and his hands had started to roam over the woman's tiny body, suddenly a loud "ahem" broke the couple apart. (name) Flushed red and Spock's face was flushed as well Scotty stood in the doorway of the bathroom a smug grin on his face.
"Now I am glad ye are back togetha but could ye please do that at home?"
(name) Name smiled and leaned into Spock as he wrapped his arms around her protectively he leaned his head by her ear and whispered
"It would be illogical to continue this with someone watching but we will most certainly continue this later."
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Stop. Just stop. Carlos and TK are two characters written as gay men from the very beginning. Their relationship has been the central relationship of the show from the first episode. The characters are portrayed by an out gay man and an actor who was able to come out publicly as bi because of the reception Tarlos and the show received from the audience. (With the exception of Buddie shippers who have been jealous and bitter about Tarlos from the start.) To dismiss an actual canon gay relationship, played by two LGBTQ+ actors as an experiment to convince Fox to allow Buddie to happen is just pathetic. Your so-called Tim/Buddie/Lone Star lore is nothing more than a delusion dreamed up by Buddie fans who couldn't handle that a) their ship isn't canon and b) that their ship isn't the most important thing in the world.
Ok first of all I am sorry if I actually made it seemed as if I don't respect Tarlos as a separate ship of buddie. I just explained what I believe is the reason for the creation of that relationship in particular from the same man who also created Buck and Eddie and honestly the fact that playing TK gave Ronen the courage to come out and live his true self is admirable and something to be proud and happy about and I am NOT dimishing the impact Tarlos has had on the lgbt community who has watched LS and feels represented in the characters...
Leaving that aside... so what if Carlos and TK were written as gay from the start??? What does that have to do with anything??? Buck is bisexual and he wasn't written that way from the beginning so you have a moot point there... Also, buddies are not jealous and bitter about Tarlos and never were Idk where you got that from. What I have seen is Tarlos shippers being horrible to buddies because even though Tarlos is canon and buddie is not, Buddie has more popularity (and that is probably because buddie has two more seasons of development in their relationship) and honestly it's sad that buddie is more popular because Tarlos are actually quite cute but sadly lack a lot of development. Again, this is NOT me disrespecting Tarlos. This is just an observation
Also, you cannot deny the amount of similarities between the four characters like they are literally right there so of course a lot of us believe that Tarlos could have been created because buddie was not allowed to be canon (which again doesn't diminish what Tarlos accomplished on its own it's just how that relationship was created) so no I don't believe it's a delusion ESPECIALLY after it was confirmed by Oliver Stark himself that the bi Buck storyline was actually pitched in to him during S4 but got shut down FROM ABOVE (since Tim was the one who approached him with the idea, the only "above" left is fox) and an insider confirmed that actually Eddie has always been a gay man and that buddie was supposed to happen in s4 but Fox didn't allow him (again which I suspect it was actually BECAUSE they weren't initially written as gay/bi)
And to finish... 1) My ship isn't canon but 1/2 of it has been confirmed bisexual last season and since the show isn't over there's still time and 2) No. Buddie is not the most important thing in the world but I'll say this: when they go canon (which they will) just go and check out the impact they're going to have -just like how bi Buck impacted social media-
Hope this helped anon
#valen answers#buddie#eddie diaz#buck#evan buckley#911 on abc#911onabc#buck and eddie#eddie and buck#oliver stark#ryan guzman#tarlos
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I’m in a lore spilling mood and this needs to be done at some point so now is good. Better buckle up bc idk how long this is gonna be and I don’t even know what exactly I’ll go into. (Little warning for some violence) So without further ado, please enjoy the story of
The Orion Initiative
-Season One:
This is the story of four teens who all find themselves in alien hunting program- the Orion Initiative. They, among many others, apply for this opportunity and are accepted to receive their training and employment on the Orion’s spaceship. These four meet and come together as friends as they discover the more sinister side to this program in an episodic format (that quietly sets up the “big problem” in the background). Let’s meet the cast.
Megan
Megan had grown up on this spaceship, specifically in the area dedicated to scientific research. She was part of the research after all. Megan didn’t know what exactly had been done to her over the years, but she knew she was different. It was hard to compare herself to other people though since this ship and the people on it were all she’d known. Well, it was all she knew until the program began. Megan watched from afar for a few years as strangers came to live on the ship. She didn’t get too many opportunities to interact with them, nor was she allowed to, but she didn’t mind. Just to observe was enough. But one year, when the next wave of trainees flooded the halls and she watched them bumble about excitedly while getting her enhancements, one of the scientists told her the news. She would be joining the program this year. Megan was admittedly very nervous. She had alarmingly little information about this program despite her proximity to it, and she would be thrust into the midst of these strangers. Regardless of her thoughts about it, it was happening. Her few belongings were moved into a new room she would share with another girl, who looked like she could be her own age. The other girl looked up and walked over quickly, sticking her hand out in front of her. “Hi, I’m Zelda! I guess, we’re roommates?” Megan wasn’t sure what to think at first; this girl seemed strange and different, but not bad. Later, Zelda gave her a knotted bracelet. It had meant that they were friends, she told her. Megan didn’t take it off.
Zelda
Zelda had it all going for her. She was about to finish high school with a 4.0 GPA, the had a group of friends and family that loved her, and she was lined up to go to her dream college on a scholarship. So why didn’t it feel right? She’d been preparing for this moment for so long, but it felt like something was missing, like she should be doing something more. That was when she discovered something- the Orion Initiative, an elite program where she could live in space and be professional trained to hunt aliens. That definitely sounded better than going to a stale college for the next few years. Besides, this program was training and a guaranteed job with compensated room and board. It was literally the total package. And if she ended up hating it, college would still be there… After rearranging her plans, Zelda was soon packed and saying her goodbyes to her friends and family. She would miss them, but it was time she did something exciting with her life. After arriving and setting up her things in her room, she met her new roommate. Her roommate seemed a little closed off at first, but after gifting her a friendship bracelet, they seemed to click. Plus, when she was going around and meeting some other new recruits her age, she met a guy who was really cute. As it turned out, he and his friend’s room were in the same hallway as hers. This was going to be great.
Xander
Xander had a job to do. He had been researching this program for years, but the internet didn’t hold much about it. The Orion Initiative- the website vaguely described it as a program that would train and employ its applicants to hunt the aliens that could pose a threat to earth. It was advertised as completely voluntary, you can drop out at any time, you can always stay in touch with your loved ones. But if that was the case, then why did his brother just disappear? There had been nothing from him since he left. Xander had texted and called him everyday, but the phone didn’t even ring. His mom said that he was probably just distracted and busy with his new work, but she was one to talk. She was always busy and distracted; it would be hard for her to really realize something was wrong with this. So now, he had a job to do. His mom thought she was seeing him off to the airport as he flew to his university, but that wasn’t exactly true. He hoped she wouldn’t have to find out what was happening, that it was all just a misunderstanding and his brother just didn’t have service. Maybe he could really go to university one day. But not now. Xander was cautious and observant as he navigated the spacecraft. In any other circumstance, it might’ve been pretty cool. He asked around about his brother (“Do you know Jake Lee?”), but everyone there was new like him. He met a few people, like his roommate and girl who seemed really sweet, but he could still sense that something was off about this place. And he was going to figure it out.
Anik
Anik needed to get out. He was sick of everything. Sick of school. Sick of his parents. He just needed to get away. He needed to do something to get his mind off of things; he needed some control over his life. He had been scrolling on his phone when he was given a strange ad, boasting a great program where applicants could be trained to hunt aliens? Anik was intrigued. The website didn’t say many specifics, but it completely covered training and living costs? This was perfect. Anik would practically be paid to do dangerous stuff, and his parents might finally get off his back about his plans for the future. It was almost too good to be true. He was definitely doing this. After a little while of preparing everything, he was off to this program. He arrived and put his things in his room, where he met his roommate. The guy was pretty chill, but he did seem to be looking for some guy named Jake. He was a little preoccupied in Anik’s opinion since they were on a literal spaceship, but he didn’t care too much. He and Xander went to meet people soon after, and Anik had to hold himself back from cringing when they met this one girl. By the way those two were looking at each other, he could tell they would definitely be seeing her again. After quietly backing out of that conversation, he made his way around to some other people- he wanted to know what exactly they would be doing for this training. No one he found knew though, since they were all new. He guessed that the people who had already been through training must be in a different location. It didn’t really matter too much to him though. This was the start of the coolest thing he’d done in his life, and he was gonna make it count.
After coming together, the gang will go on to partake in little adventures as they learn life lessons and grow their relationships with one another. Zelda becomes the self-appointed leader of the group with her confident and competent nature and her ability to think quickly. Megan feels sort of out of place within the group and usually just follows Zelda around and lets her do the decision making. Xander is a sort of instigator who will pull the team into investigating certain situations, but will always be quick to help whenever they need it. Anik feels uncomfortable in the group dynamic but eventually comes to find his place as the heart and protector of the team. The leader of this program (who Megan knew as a sort of mother) often interacts with them specifically, giving them their missions and seeing to their concerns.
In one of the very important plot episodes, the team is training. The training takes place in a closed and monitored forest environment on one of the planets that’s used to test before field work. Somehow, a strange alien makes it into the training area where it’s not supposed to be. The team is able to exterminate it and move on. Soon after, Megan (the one in closest contact with it) begins to feel and act strange. The other three become worried as she becomes more animalistic and aggressive. This comes to a head when Megan’s eyes turn completely dark and begin leaking a dark liquid. Her mouth begins to foam and her breathing technology is damaged, but she attacks them and runs away. The team tries to get out but everything is locked down. They are trapped in the training area with their friend who seems to be infected by some exposure to an alien and is now trying to kill them. The rest of the episode depicts them waiting for the doors to open as they try to escape. First, she emerges from the shadows and slams Anik against the ground, effectively knocking him out. The other two begin to run as they hear but don’t see Megan in the plants around them. Next Megan knocks Zelda to the ground and throws several punches, but Zelda is able to fend her off with some of their equipment. Megan retreats momentarily before rushing Zelda from behind and knocking her down as she jumps for Xander. He puts up a fight as she pins him to the ground and, with a sickening crunch, rips his arm completely from its socket. Zelda runs back at this time and, although she doesn’t want to harm her friend, it’s past that. She shoots her in the leg causes Megan to run back into the darkness. It only takes a few minutes before the doors finally open and the three are rushed to the medical wing. They also tell the people about Megan, who is still in the environment and acting murderous. The people say they will take care of it. After a few hours, Megan comes to in the middle of a dark forest. Her breathing technology is broken, making her breaths very shallow and difficult. She’s covered in blood and a human arm lies in her lap. She’s there until morning, when she is found and taken to a lab. They said that the cause of the episode was due to the exposure to the strange alien. Even though she wasn’t in control of her actions, the whole team is uneasy about the experience and the relationships become slightly strained.
Subtly in each episode, the main plot is set up. The Orion Initiative, though claiming its purpose is to protect earth from aliens with a force of hunters, really is using the hunters in order to further their research. They need to stay in an alien infested place and because of this are vulnerable. These volunteers are sent out to “protect” the ship, but if they can’t, the aliens will be satisfied with a payment. There have been many different experiments to potentially enhance their hunters, so that they don’t have to lose so many people. Not many have been successful, although Megan is one of the few. The alien that got into the training area was planted there as an experiment.
In the season finale, the extent of the program’s villainy is discovered. After the gang confronts the program leader about, she explains the situation. She tells them about what’s really been happening (conveniently leaving out how many people have been killed thus far) but claims that they’ve only been researching in order to discover new methods of human mutation. If they can combine aliens and human dna, civilizations in space could be possible and utilized. They accept this answer at first, but the adventure of the episode leads them to the discovery of the death logs and failed experiments. As they look through the dark lab, they discover foggy glass capsules. A light switches on and they make a horrifying discovery. They are met face to face with the horribly mutated and disfigured face of Xander’s brother. Xander is horrified and despondent as they find more information about how they were failed experiments and a list of potential subjects that would be next. This causes panic. This program wasnt for helping people, it was for collecting canon fodder and voluntary subjects. They spread the news to the rest of the trainees and plan to make their escape by taking a smaller ship back to earth. Among the members of the main four, things grow more tense as Xander, arguably the most deeply affected by this, lashes out at Megan. He claimed she knew this whole time and had been helping them; that’s why she ripped off his arm. His brother was a freak human experiment who got killed because of her. Megan tried to defend herself but was uncertain. She always had listened to the program after all, and she did hurt her friends. Zelda almost couldn’t believe it. She wouldn’t think Megan would do that, but she’s practically admitting to it. “You really helped them do all of this?” she asked. Anik comes to her defense, reminding them that she wasn’t in her right mind when it happened, asking Megan if she wanted to help the program. She shook her head. “See?” he said. “She wouldn’t do it if she had a choice. We need to focus on getting out of here, not on this.” They all agree to put it aside for the moment and go on with their plan. After some interference with technology, they managed to cut some power and get everyone to the evacuation ship. As they’re running and get to the boundary between the main ship and the escape ship, Megan gets caught on an invisible barrier. She can’t cross over onto the ship. The others don’t notice until they begin to close things off. They realize that she’s stuck, but security begins to come towards the escape ship. There isn’t enough time. Zelda has to make a decision. She decides to prioritize the people on the ship and close the doors on Megan. She and Xander aren’t happy about it, but realize it has to be done. Anik can’t believe it and is shocked, telling her to stop the doors. She reasons that it’s too late for Megan. Anik runs at the closing doors and slides through at the last second, making it to Megan as the security closed in around them.
Nyehehe that was season one :D I’m gonna reblogged it with season two bc boy did it get lengthy. I wrote this out mainly bc I wanna make out of chronological order art and I needed to give yall context ^^ just gonna tag you here bud @banana-pancake5 :)
#I kinda forgot how much i loved these guys#and I quite like the potential for all those crazy filler episodes#oh and just imagine that the character progression were more gradual bc I kinda just through that tension in there#but it would be building little by little in the filler through Xander and Zelda getting closer#and megans loyalty to the program getting displayed a little better bc like that’s her home and her family#it’s a little difficult for her to just abandon it yk#oc#ocs#oc story#oc lore#the orion initiative#season 1#there will be two or three seasons me thinks#megan#zelda#xander#anik#next season starts out with a bunch of violence which is pretty yay#jadethebluerambles
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La Pluie Deserves a Standing Ovation
I hope y’all didn’t think I’d forgotten about this show after the finale. I was just traveling and have been too busy to write this final review.
La Pluie has been one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve had as a viewer of TV ever. This show told us exactly what it was from the very opening scenes, and then spent the entire show paying that off. This show opened with an explanation about soulmates, and then immediately countered that with Tai’s parents’ divorce, the note that the pairing of people is ultra-rare, and a happy couple that wasn’t a soulmate pair in a café. Throughout the show it repeatedly stressed that love is about how we treat each other and not something you win via a lottery. It’s so rare these days that we get a show that trusts their audience this much to follow the thread and think about the big ideas along the way.
Doubt and Faith in Acts
One of my favorite things I observed in the show is that only Patts and Tien consistently make the kinds of choices that lead to long-term love without getting their asses handed to them. @shortpplfedup observed during her catch up that this story featured four different kinds of believers: an apostate, an agnostic, a believer, and an atheist. It’s notable that the apostate (Tai) and the atheist (Lomfon) are the ones causing the most harm to other people in the way they treat others.
Throughout the show, both Tai and Lomfon keep making standoffish choices. Tai has cut off his mom and avoids his coworkers. Lomfon is rude and standoffish. Neither of them is able to hold on to their loves because they are incapable of letting go of their own bullshit.
Conversely, Tien goes out of his way to take care of his brother, his family, and eventually Lomfon. I actually liked that Tai and Lomfon had to make opposite choices in the finale. Lomfon needed to show in his actions that he was serious about Tien, whereas Tai needed to show in his words that he was actually listening to what Patts had been asking for.
For Patts, he doesn’t believe that he and Saengtai are meant to be together because they’re connected by the rain. He does the work of caring for Tai because he is kind. He loves Tai because he’s Tai and not because he’s his soulmate. Patts stays present for Tai. He respects his boundaries. He tries to help Tai deal with his problems. He trusts him.
The Ambiguity
As a lapsed Catholic, I gotta say that I really love the way this show ended without fixing all of the soulmate stuff and giving concrete answers. I like that the show holds firm to its conviction that love is not ordained by the narrative; it is something built by people doing the work to be together. I love how this show challenged the notion of the narrative itself mandating the characters be together and instead reminded them (and us) to be present for our loved ones and to listen to their needs.
I think this show would have been weaker if Tai and Patts had restored their rain connection at the end. Besides, I think it gives them room to play with that idea if they get a second season. I also liked that Tien started hearing someone at the end of the season. He is a believer in soulmates, and I think it’ll be interesting to see someone as earnest as him face that challenge.
Releasing the Tension
Before I get to wrapping up, I want to reiterate again that this show has two plot-relevant blowjobs in it. So often these shows tease us and then don’t release the tension. Worse, when they do release the tension it doesn’t always feel like it’s something the characters lean into with their new dynamic.
After episode 5 ended, @ginnymoonbeam teased me for having a moment of panic that maybe I was misreading the show and that somehow Patts wasn’t into Saengtai because of how often I’ve been tricked or teased. Instead, these two end up making out on the floor and Patts was going to blow that man. Then, we don’t cut away from them. We watch them talk about what happened and why Tai is holding back.
Going further, they let Patts and Tai find peace and closure with Nara. Moreover, they treat Nara’s heartbreak seriously. She isn’t ejected from the group, and is allowed to be disappointed and sad about the loss. At the end of the show, they also confirm our suspicions about her and Dream.
It’s just incredible to have watched a show that didn’t rely on teasing us and instead treated the sex and intimacy seriously.
Thank You To Everyone Who Watched La Pluie
I cannot overstate how much joy I got from watching this show along with all of you. When @lurkingshan and I began writing earnestly around episode 4 in the hopes that more people would join us on this show, I did not expect so many of you to actually give it a try.
I think, if you have held off on watching this show because you’ve been waiting for confirmation about one plot point or another, just watch it if you’re still on the fence. When you do watch it, try to let go of what you think is supposed to happen or what you want to happen, and instead respond to what the show is giving you. This has been the most legible show at this caliber I’ve experienced since I Told Sunset About You (2020).
At no point did this show try to trick us about anything, and it trusts us to keep up and engage. This show is better when you lean in. It’s better when you discuss it with others. For a show so much about questioning belief, it is amazing how much this show rewards you for believing in it. I don’t know a better show this year.
I have a lot of folks I want to acknowledge here at the end, including but not limited to:
I want to thank @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @pharawee, and @liyazaki for letting me use their gifs in my posts.
I want to thank @lurkingshan and @ginnymoonbeam for being first through the door with me and committing to getting more folks to watch this show.
I want to thank @respectthepetty and @absolutebl for regularly sticking it out for shows and giving them an earnest watch through their lenses.
I want thank everyone else who contributed incredibly thoughtful writing to this experience, including @shortpplfedup, @syrena-del-mar, @neuroticbookworm, @wen-kexing-apologist, @chickenstrangers, @recentadultburnout, @williamrikers, @heretherebedork, @shouldiusemyname, @sunshinechay, @fadelikeclouds, @slayerkitty, @chinzhilla, @indigostarfire, @iguessitsjustme and @rocketturtle4
See you all in the next show!
#Ben writes#la pluie#la pluie the series#la pluie meta#thai bl#bl series#title tanatorn#pee peeravich#suar kritsanaphong#copter nuntapong
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Hey ur my fave spn blogger by far (heavy is the head that has the crown etc etc) it occurred to me I've never heard u talk in Bobby? Any thoughts? Id love to hear em.
hey! so this is an interesting question. probably the reason i don't post much about bobby has to do with the fact that... well... i actually broadly enjoy bobby, and i enjoy him for exactly the same basic, surface level reasons as the show expects me to.
like, normally, if i'm watching supernatural, i am at least somewhat in conflict with the text. it expects me to like things i don't like (these are called "dogshit episodes" and they're a common hazard), and when i do like it it's often not really for the reasons that the show is expecting me to like it.
like... if you really want to see me shout and cheer, you should see what it looks like when i rewatch exile on main st., but neither a randomly selected mainstream audience nor miss gamble herself would necessarily agree with or even understand why i was doing so. like my enjoyment of that episode requires a lot of interpretive effort.
but fast forward three episodes to weekend at bobby's, and i could sit in a room with a general audience person, a reddit bro, a wincestie, and dabb/lofflin themselves and we would all basically have the same watch experience. i might be critical of the treatment of japanese culture, or annoyed by the way crowley's heel turn was handled, or something else, some specific element. but in terms of the broad strokes - bobby going around doing things, hunting a case, existing in relationships with a series of other characters - i like it for exactly the reason i'm meant to.
and that's kind of how bobby as a character is for me. there just isn't a lot of distance between what i'm supposed to enjoy and what i do enjoy. and it's that distance, and the interpretive labor required to close it, that generates thoughts, and thoughts are what generates posts. which means i don't really have a ton of posts about bobby.
i guess i will say... i used to be cautiously pro-killing-bobby-off in s7, definitely more than other characters who died in gamble era. because i was like "man, you gotta kill the father figure." that's the nature of these things. but upon rewatch, i actually think bobby's role as father figure is overstated. certainly it's overstated by the fandom, but even in the show to an extent. although i will concede a bit because i love when soulless sam tries to kill him. only good thing that happens in appointment in samarra. but overall bobby is as much just a friend as he is a father, you know? he engages with the boys on much more equal terms than a parent does.
but anyway. i don't like that they killed him because 1) they kept bringing him back, frequently stupidly. i liked safe house, but otherwise i am against basically all of bobby's appearances post-s7. i guess inside man was fine, but like. that's just the thing. it was fine. resoundingly okay. and safe house could easily have happened with bobby alive, just like. have him having the flashback. and 2) i think it has a bad effect on the show because like... after bobby died, the interpersonal conflict became even more dour. and it's already so fucking dour. there are no outside characters whatsoever to observe when things happen and so stuff spirals into madness even more and worse than it used to. no one is there to yell at dean the way bobby did in season four, you know? and then 3) i just enjoy bobby a lot i'm an enjoyer. i would have liked the show more if he stuck around in a meaningful way (and not just as a constantly recurring oh he's back from the dead for an episode plot).
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Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger vs. Donbrothers/Kyoryuger MOVIE SPOILER
Somehow I feel like I went a little all out
Basically both story wasn’t that slow pace it was like totally immediate let get to the story if need recap it very simple and short. Both have a lot of references to main story. If I have to say Donbrothers was ridiculous but it fit them and Kyoryuger was a little more serious.
(If anything is wrong I apologize, also I tend to jusr comment at certain part as I am typing this so…yeah you can ignore them. If there is mistake in name sorry I wrote it after the show which was late.)
Kingohger Vs Donbrothers
It started with Jeramie narrating then it show the scene at Hakabaka where both team are facing off of course he mention they all dead.
Then it was Haruka turn to narrate and she mention they found themselves in this strange land and yes they are all dead.
Both of them narrate about wondering how it like it came to be like this…where it brings to Shungoddam.
Apparently Gira with the rest of his soldiers plus two Kuroko doing Mochi! Douga was like please try the mochi in which Gira ate it.
It just then Tarou appears saying he got a delivery for Gira who suddenly started choking on the mochi.
Douga was alarmed then Tarou tried help out as he put his hand into his mouth but say the mochi is like really stuck far inside of him. Douga push him away thinking he wasn’t helping. Then well Gira die…
So Tarou leave only to see Shugods (THEY WERE ALL THERE STACK ONTO ONE OF ANOTHER I DONT KNOW WHY BUT IT WAS SO CUTE) especially Kuwagon then he remembered Gii-Chan! (Haruka reminded people who Gii-Chan was that was Kabuto beetle who was his only friend)
Apparently he thought Gii-Chan could be here so he ask Bun if he know where he could find him. Bun say he could be in Hakabaka.
So Tarou lie that he hate Gii-Chan, (Haruka then explains that he cannot lie if not he die) so Tarou die.
Afterward it went back to Donbrothers world where Haruka and Sononi were trying to find inspiration for a manga. (If i remember correctly) they saw Tsubasa & Sonoza being chase by your truly (Takada Masashi!)
Only for accident to have happens where a lorry had hit into Minoru Ono (the guy who turn to Hitotsuki a lot)
Jiro, Saruhara & Kijino appears at the scene follow by the other four. (Takada) ask them to call ambulance apparently nobody had their phone. Suddenly Haruka got inspirational about Isekai that Minoru Ono suddenly got up & change into Ohsamaki then a door open sucking them all into it.
Tsubasa & Sonoza fell into Shugoddam then somehow Sonoza suggested they should start a new where nobody know them. Just when Tsubasa was about to agree, a Shugoddam solider appeared (Takada again 😂) then say they are criminal. Apparently they are wanted in Shugoddam (apparently someone look like them?) so they ran.
Scene change to where Yanma & Jeramie were at N’Kosopa. Yanma had ask Jeramie to read a book only to get prank as he open it only to be punch. (Like jack in a box) Jeramie swear he get his revenge only for Saruhara to appears out of nowhere.
He ask them where he is, Yanma answer him but he conclude he shouldn’t think so much about it. He did a Haiku only for Jeramie to be impressed.
Both of them were like getting all buddy up leaving Yanma to be clueless what going on.
Move on to the next scene whereat Ishabana it reveal Himeno & Rita are watching a new Moffun episode? Movie? Rita was too moved by it and Himeno was concern. Funny thing both Haruka & Sononi were observing them and they intro themselves.
Then somehow Haruka & Rita got into fight about Moffun & Sononi was on Rita’s side but Himeno was on Haruka’s side.
Ohsamaki appears in between the arguments but no one pay attention to him.
Cut to where Jiro had somehow force his way to see Kaguragi to ask where is he. Only for them to be taken back on each other appearance (Mostly their muscles 😂) they were impress with each other body.
Then next was were it show Kijino with Racles & Suzume. Apparently I think Racles was telling Kijino he probably from another world? Only for Kijino to freak out not being able to go back to his Miho.
Suzume was affected by it (like she can’t imagine being away from her love one) that she got too lovely with Racles who was like embarrassed trying to get her stop because they had a guest.
Kijino got overwhelmed despite saying he ok with it end up wanting to go back. Then Rackes suggested he find Kingohger. Also mention how it could help him then he show him on the little tv he had on the Kingohger mecha. It trigger poor Kijino’s memories (Episode 45 of Donbrother) about being defeat by it (he found it super scary) he practically broke out of the cell and run out.
Go back to Yanma Saruhara and Jeramie. Apparently the two were too preoccupied to realize Yanma put the lie detector on them. Then apparently they were commenting how they understood and appreciate their arts (basically Haiku and read btw the line) only to get electricity shock. Yanma was so proud of himself saying how there is no way they would agree with each other. That he didn’t realize that they had grab hold of him so he also got shock. That how they all die.
(From here I forgot which scene came first but yeah)
Cut back to Kaguragi & Jiro having a sumo match apparently…(They are both half naked 😆) Kuroda started the match then they clashed into each other. Only to knock each other off their feet and somehow…they both die.
Then it was in Ishabana the four of them were already knock out well killed (not sure how 😅) Ohsamaki mentions like he did something but I forgot. (Maybe delete scene would explain this?)
Kijino die due to the cold, Tsubasa & Sonoza die from falling because they were being chased and fell into a hole from the bridge when they weren’t paying attention to where they are running.
Back at Tarou and Gira, Gira blame Tarou for his death but he say it the mochi.
Soon the rest started appearing slowly…
Saruhara didn’t take it nicely that Jeramie actually didn’t like his Haiku? He pull Tarou aside saying they are enemies.
Jeramie was upset he didn’t read in between the line.
Apparently Jiro & Kaguragi pop up out of nowhere all set to redo their fight.
Then slowly the rest all appear where they took their place beside their group.
Then they started the fight.
Saruhara was fighting Jeramie & Yanma at N’Kosopa he commented it wasn’t fair 2 vs 1. Afterward Kijino came to back up & he was talking about how horrible the King-Ohger mecha was 😂 (Poor guy like traumatized)
Then in Ishabana Haruka & Rita were fighting while Himeno & Sononi and they were still fighting about Moffun.
In Tofuu Kaguragi & Jiro resume their sumo fight even while discard their weapon. At one point Jiro switch Torabolt then sort of surprised Kaguragi by jumping onto him.
Meanwhile…apparently Tsubasa & Sonoza were like ehhh what to do? Only for Ohsamaki to appears piss off nobody pay attention to him. He practically just stop all their fight forcing them back to where Tarou & Gira are fighting who then agree to postpone their fight to defeat Ohsamaki.
Just before they can start the fight Zenkaizer Black appears saying he got something nice. Reveal the parcel (that Tarou supposed to deliver?) it was crown that spilt into two. Thus allowing them to power-up. (Kaitou just disappear afterwards 😅)
They both started laughing…and laughing and laughing until Tarou tell him to stop.
Tarou then told his group they are going to do their roll call? It not really roll call more like just stating their group name (which I don’t remember what term it was…since usually they do roll call with it 😅) Apparently they were on their usual Tower while funny the Kings were watching from below.
Then Gira wanted to show off also their group however he got totally ignore…Donbrother went straight to battle and the rest of the King join in that Gira gave up and went with them to fight.
Back in the Donbrother world Minoru woke up before (Takada) gave him mouth to mouth 😂
After the fight was over, they didn’t feel like fighting. Like there was some misunderstanding between them. Then somehow Jeramie was like we should like get along & make up or something like that however nobody was in the mood or wanted too. Much to Gira surprised & it was hilarious they all just disappear back into living world leaving Gira & Tarou by themselves.
Both of them wander a bit longer until they saw Oden stand and when they enter…Sonoi greeted them.
(Yes everyone…IT SONOI HE APPEARED!)
Both of them ask Sonoi what they wanted to do one is find Gii-Chan another is to go back to land of living.
So of course Sonoi questions them he didn’t give them an answers. They found it themselves then Sonoi asked what they wanted from Oden.
Tarou-Shirataki
Gira-Daikon
When they found it delicious they return back to land of living. Then it reveal by Sonoi actually Gii-Chan is really in Hakabaka.
Cut to Shungoddam, apparently all the Kings were around as Himeno was telling Bun he is only one who can take out the Mochi that stuck in Gira.
Once it was remove Gira came back to life then everyone went over to eat some Mochi. (Yanma was about to leave but Kaguragi stop him)
Then Tarou reappeared insisted on the delivery. Douga was like YOU AGAIN?!? (It was hilarious) Gira say it fine then went over to Tarou to accept it. Then I think Tarou said they made a bond? (They never reveal what in the box but I think is still the Crown)
Then credits started and somehow…Donbrothers are like sight seeing the other countries 😂 also there was small part in Donbrother world along with Suzume & Racles! (Don’t remember the order so I am just going to say all scene credit scene)
Credit show that Minoru & (Takada) talking then Murasame just swing by them (If you can watch back in beginning he appears in the crash under one of the tire from the Lorry, the director mentions it)
Suzume & Racles were having lunch? Dinner? Suzume fed Racles then she was like hinting to him to feed her too. Racles tried but couldn’t then admit he can’t yet Suzume kept hinting waiting to be fed. (They are very cute 😆)
N’Kosopa apparently they saw Tsubasa & Sonoza wanted poster being showcase. They were just walking on the bridge.
Ishabana Saruhara was trying write a Haiku under the Sakura only for Haruka & Sonoza to push him away to show off their dresses.
Tofuu they were offer a feast tons of food.
Gokkan…apparently they were playing with the seat like it a swing 😂🤣 Rita scream in frustration. Tarou apologized and apparently Kijino was snowball for some reason…
Then they were back at Shungoddam where they had a lot of like Souvenir before saying they could give it to Kyoryuger (I was like EHHHH they probably same more stuff but I blank out)
End…
Kingohger Vs Kyoryuger
I am going to comment it was confusing 🤣 jump here and there the timeline. However it EXPLAINS a lot of some plot hole in the main series.
It started with where Uchu Gira were about to execute Yanma, Himeno, Rita, Kaguragi and Jeramie. He was like demanding the people who causing trouble for him to appear.
Soon King appeared then transformed and Uchu Gira did the same. Utsusemimaru was watching then knew he needed go back to Plezuon where Yayoi was waiting for him. Then Chikyuu look like it got destroyed?
I think they went back to their world then Utsusemimaru went to investigate because something was wrong.
Soon Utsusemimaru found out they were in future when Ami pull them aside and ask him to take Prince back into past like how King told her Utsusemimaru would appears to do that. (Of course Utsusemimaru was stunned by the news but overjoyed)
Once back at Plezuon, Yayoi was in totally disbelief of Prince being son of King & Ami (or she just don’t want to think it possible).
Then while Yayoi was doing necessary arrangements to go back in time, somehow Utsusemimaru end up interrupting her work. That they went through another time and Utsusemimaru sort of fell out.
It show he was in 100 years later…(Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger: 100 YEARS AFTER)
Yayoi drops Prince off first while she go find Utsusemimaru.
Prince went off to find the rest but was clueless how to do so until the enemies attack. He tried to defend the civilians only for Souji to appears helping him out.
Prince was happy to see him then pass him a letter written by King his dad. Souji was definitely speechless but he did help train him.
(I honestly forgot when they reveals this part but I think it here?)
It was reveals that King, Utsusemimaru and Yayoi were fighting Dagudedo then he took interest in King and made him apart of his collection. He captured King into amber stone (one like Shugods soul almost) then send both Utsusemimaru & Yayoi away. Just as Dagudedo decide to go back to Chikyuu (Ohsama’s World)
Apparently went Utsusemimaru finally got back, Ohsama already help Kyoryuger to defeat the enemy.
Utsusemimaru was so happy that when after they had send the Ohsama off. He hug Prince only for Prince to start fading away.
Utsusemimaru bring him back to Plezuon where Yayoi was thinking something happen to timeline or something. As Prince call out for his dad for help.
Utsusemimaru panic because he couldn’t save King that time and was upset at himself that he once again accidentally hit into Yayoi sending them to not sure what time.
It cut to Utsusemimaru in Shungoddam who was trying to find Dagudedo because of Prince. Then he witness Young Gira & Young Racles where Gira was eating Rainbow jururira. When Racles left, Gira was upset he finished it and wanted more Utsusemimaru took pity on him and somehow…found a whole tub of it (Where did he find it?!?) he gave Gira just as Yayoi call him back to tell him they are in the past to get back immediately.
Afterward they went back in time to Chikyuu 17 year later? Then somehow they saw an image where Young Gira lost control and grew up defeating Dagudedo on his own. While they were puzzle wha happens just as they arrive to their destination things aren’t what it seems to be.
Utsusemimaru & Prince were a bit at a lost then suddenly Jeramie suddenly appears asking if they were finding people apparently he was willing help them find them. Also He refer himself as Jera-Chi & apparently use a lot of English words. He told them to Come on like follow him.
First they went to N’Kosopa, the scene show Shiokara apparently piss at Yanma probably he did something wrong. Yanma wore his glasses then got onto his knee and was totally apologetic to him saying he will make up for it.
Jera-Chi explain Yanma wasn’t able to do well with technology then fail so he just scrapping through odd job that sort?
Next was Ishabana where it reveal that Himeno is flower girl. Apparently Himeno’s selfishness wasn’t like ignored so they didn’t let her do whatever she wanted she got thrown off throne thus she became a flower girl.
It shown she tried to sell a flower to Sebastian but he treated her coldly pushing her out of the way then she fell as her stomach growls she desperately decide to eat the flower since she can’t sell it. (Marie-San really ate it…)
In Gokkan, Jera-Chi say they like in for a treat as Rita was performing.
Rita step down of Saiban-Cho due to mental illness and became a top star in singing & dancing. They value their freedom a lot. (They felt super free)
Also yes they were performing Moffun song in different tone & dance. (We are so rob from getting actually Rita’s song 😭) it was like super elegant how they performed it they sang it in their usual character voice?
Morfonia became their biggest fan. Edit: She fainted after their performance 😅
In Tofuu
Kaguragi was hated by other country for his lie and deceiving he got overthrown then now do like rig Sumo match with his sister arranging it. (He can’t seem to escape Sumo 😂 both film has it)
Prince was totally at lost because they are all so strange. Then he mention about wanting to find Uchu which like Jera-Chi bring them (if I remember correctly I forgot this part)
They went back to Shugoddam where Gira appears with the other Uchu Jesters. Jera-Chi bow & refer to Gira as Gira-Sama
If I am not wrong Gira was apparently questioning who were Prince & Utsusemimaru. Then I think he was like curious why they were looking out for the four of them probably he thought they causing trouble somehow he reveal he had capture them. (Honestly this part I was a little blank out what happen 😅)
(Also I want to comment I wish they show their personalities moreeee like how they interact with each other but oh well…)
When thing was going grim King suddenly appear out of Minongan. Then he rescue Utsusemimaru & Prince by calling Yayoi to pick them up.
Once they regroup. Prince was totally fine, then Utsusemimaru & Yayoi was wondering how was King ok.
King reveals he had witness Ohsama defeat Dagudedo then he broke free of his amber when he heard Prince calling out for him.
He went to find Gira and requested for his help to get to Prince so he can help him (basically to find a way to dimension travel or something?) who suggested using Minongan even though there might be chance it won’t work. King just took it so he free Minongan and enter inside of him allowing him to reappear to save them.
Just as they were figuring out what made the Ohsama like this Yayoi reveals it due to Utsusemimaru’s fault for giving Gira too much Rainbow jururira to eat. (So yeah apparently if he ate a lot he definitely would have defeat Dagudedo but cost him his humanity)
King had a plan where he go find a way to help Ohsama get back to themselves, while Utsusemimaru go stop himself and Prince go find Gabutyra who their partner and needed for the battle
(This is where everything connect from the series 🥹 and where I forget which came first…TIME TRAVELING IS CONFUSING)
So yeah exactly what happens in Episode 40, why Prince went to find Gabutyra. Then why he hesitated in answer Gira question & him hugging him along with being the Nice evil King 🥲
Meanwhile it show back to where movie started but a bit different. Apparently Gira was telling them to like call out for the person help them out & they were desperately calling out to be saved (I swear all their acting is so good you can see how pitiful they look THEY LOOK LIKE THEY WERE CRYING 😱)
King reappears but this time prepared. He had the Venomix Shooter in his hand. (I can’t remember what he said but it was Wah before he shoot them)
He shot the Venomix Shooter at them producing like Spider-Web connecting them together. Apparently their memories were being revival from the shooter into them thus they went back to their normal self but Gira didn’t who kept saying he was Uchu.
(I forgot which part where Utsusemimaru did his part. Like was it after Gira say he Uchu then fighting against the Ohsama or after they had their say then back away)
Jeramie got ask King where did he pick it up, he mention that while he was looking for Gira. It was hinted that the moment he took it when in last episode Jeramie left it on his throne.
Soon something hit him in which Utsusemimaru did his part & stop himself. Apparently he had stop himself by scolding and slap himself.
The Kings knew it wasn’t enough they still had to help Gira so they just fight him. They all fought against him before holding him in place they all had something to say to him. (🥹) then Yanma’s line asking him to wake up Skapon Tanuki! They back away before using their Ohger Slash against him.
(Can I be grateful they decide to do this scene without them transform? 🥹)
The Ohger Slash knock some sense into Gira who laugh only to be clueless what happening.
While they are all relief he is alright they were finished. As apparently Uchu transform Gira appeared with the other Uchu Jesters.
If I am not wrong King-Ohger first transform and cool thing is they Ohgai Busou but haven’t transform yet. They fought the enemy while doing their roll call and only complete their transformation after they said their name. (IT WAS SO COOL)
Gabutyra reappear and change into a new weapon just as Jeramie’s Venomix shooter also.
Soon the other Kyoryuger appears they all transform (they definitely did their dance 😆) before FIRE. Then they did their roll call in transform mode.
Kyoryuger went into armour mode just as Jeramie shoot out his transform Venokix Shooter it gave the Ohsama all new weapons.
Then they proceed with the fight.
Hilbil - Rita Yayoi & Ami
Kamejin - Yanma & Nossan
Minongan- Ian & Kaguragi
Goma - Utsusemimaru & Jeramie
(I can’t remember for Minongan & Goma who fought who but i think is correct)
Glodi - Himeno & Soujin
Apparently Goldi came back to life after they defeat him.
Then Torin appears to take over the fight along with Tessai & Ramiresu and they finally defeat him.
When King Prince and Gira defeat Uchu Gira. King & Prince combine their weapon to create a gun while Gira use the Kentrospiker
The battle end with Utsusemimaru apologizing for what he has done while Gira was like no hard feelings that sort. Then Gira was like asking Prince if he was see him again which he would.
King say definitely before pulling them together to look at the camera saying because they are Sentai
Ending credit
They did the waking king dance
King-Ohger had most scene.
Everyone BUT King dance small part (he only did the Brave pose 😔)
(CAN THEY HAVE A FULL DANCE OF ALL OF THEM?!?! IN BLU-RAY?!?!)
Oh then post credit
Prince return to his timeline with Utsusemimaru escorting him. When they arrive Utsusemimaru was dumbfounded who he call Oto-Chan. As his father didn’t like look like King since the face was like King’s Dad(Shinji Yamashita portray himself as older King I guess?) That Utsusemimaru thought he mess up again and when running back to find Yayoi 😂
I probably should try learning how to do summary better? I just end up typing it all out…dunno I probably just so excited of the movie I need write down everything. 😅
Well hope you enjoy the spoiler…now I need to fix my other report…
#kingohger#ohsama sentai kingohger#ohsama sentai king ohger vs. avataro sentai donbrothers#ohsama sentai king ohger vs. kyoryuger#vs movie#SPOILER
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Yesterday I arrived at a Christmas fundraiser event as a volunteer. There were parents and kids, carols and laughter, families dancing and talking in bright voices.
My back was to it all. I guarded the entry table, took money, explained the festivities, and watched them move on. Other volunteers came to talk with me, sat at the table two and three at a time, offered me cocoa and cookies and engaged me in bright conversation while the room reverberated with noise and more families came in and waited expectantly at my table.
Four hours later, I felt like I was going to pass out, but I had two more hours to go. By the time I got home after dark, I was shaking. I felt like my brain had been sucked out with a straw, leaving a rattling ringing in my ears.
This morning, after running tech for the UU service, everyone got up and started talking at once but I couldn't understand them because there was a crashing ocean noise in my skull that rumbled painfully in my ears every time someone made a sound. I had to get out. I picked up my bag, said goodbye, and ran.
For the past few years-- since joining this community and since becoming a manager at work, since I've started running meetings and supervising people and being asked to give every moment of my time to solving other people's personal problems or to noisy, bright, confusing events --I've forced myself to try and be normal.
Normal is taking everything I have, so I keep my abnormalities to myself: my fanfiction, my kids' shows, my fantasy novels, my podcasts, the tent I sleep in every night because it's the only thing that makes me feel safe. These things are secret because they're mine and mine alone. I can't let normal take them, too.
One of those secret things is Hilda.
I adore this show so incredibly much. I feel like it was written just for me: the folklore, the woods, the low-stakes adventures, the knowledge that everything will be okay in the end. This is the world I always wanted. It's the story that I always wanted to write. Even now, its gentle lessons on how to be a good person and how to be a good friend are morals I needed to hear. And I tried applying those lessons: be adventurous, invite others to explore with you, say what's on your mind, ask questions, knock on doors, help where help is needed, engage fully in every conversation, spend all your time with other people, leap first and look later, be loud, and contribute to the noise and color and light. Do all these things and everyone will love you. Keep doing it, even if it hurts. You'll adjust. You'll become resilient. And you'll be happy and you'll make everyone else happy.
But then. Now. There's Louise.
This is me. I'm so quiet that no one sees me, no one knows my name, and when I make a sound people jump. In my overwhelmed and frustrated state, after trying so hard to be like everyone else, this three-second scene made me cry with relief.
I'd been so focused on turning myself into the person that everyone else needed that I'd forgotten who I am. Louise reminded me. As the episode went on, I remembered how I used to quietly and calmly observe. How I would absorb and analyze and only speak when I'd built up something to say.
But most importantly-- the thing that reached into my soul and ripped it out --was the fact that Louise is comfortable in who she is. By the end of the show, her quiet observation is her strength. She's strong and confident, not timid and shy. She can be accepted warmly as a good friend even if she isn't as loud as everyone else. Her character arc is not to overcome her quietness. Being quiet is a part of her personality, and she's loved and accepted for who she is.
And that? I don't remember seeing that.
Ever.
Only a couple weeks ago I sat in a roomful of people and told them I was grateful to them for teaching me how to be more outgoing while, at the same time, the raging ocean waves of protest crashed in my ears. Just push through it, I'd thought. The more you force yourself to be extroverted, the easier it will become. But what if it was okay to be myself?
I haven't watched past this introductory episode, but this kids' show is washing away my existential crisis and I love it so, so much.
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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 3, Episode 13, Part 1, Aka Pickle- Gate
Lorelai and Rory are informing the Grands about their plans to traverse Europe after Rory graduates.
Two screen shots with incredible future meme potential. Emily: Richard, they want to sleep in a park like a couple of squirrels! What are people going to think when they see a grown woman bunking down with a bunch of 20 year olds? Lorelai regularly bunks down with a certain 18 year old boy here at home, soo... Time to prove me right, Predictable Gilmore!
Speaking of squirrels..
Hey look everyone, it's Dean. Let's point and laugh at him. Ha ha! He looks so stupid! LOL! I hope he takes his helmet off and a chunk of cinderblock falls on his head and renders him permanently comatose! lmao! Please tell me this is the episode where Dean asks Jess for extra pickles so Jess threatens to filet him and dump his lifeless body in a ditch.
Okay Patricia, I'm going to need you to chill. And where is my barf bucket? Time to simultaneously cross off "Miss Patty is Horny" and "Dean and Jess Sexual Tension" off my episode Bingo card (which I've been spotty about remembering to complete).
You know, the general sentiment seems to be that Miss Patty is absolutely slaying, but if she thinks this doofwad is worth wasting that pickup line on. it's likely she hasn't actually gotten laid in years. Or she might want to get checked for cataracts.
Jesus. Patty and Lorelai should both be on some kind of sex offender registry.
Oh Lucas. You sure know how to make a girl swoon.
Luke: This book just talks about fancy tablecloths and dish design and nothing about the food. Jess: You're going through a lot for this lawyer. Luke: She's not just a lawyer, she's also a lady, a very nice lady who probably expects good food on fancy plates and sparse yet elegant decor. This is what you do when you're dating.
Okay, sooo, no good food, fancy plates or elegant decor for Rory. Got it. Here's what Jess and Rory eat from:
IT'S PICKLE TIME!
Let's keep score, shall we? Of who comes out on top (snicker snicker) in this interaction.
This might be the one and only great snappy comeback that AmyShermanPalladino has ever assigned to the character of Dean. Dean delivers a brutal verbal blow. Jess is not completely unphased. He's clearly a bit shooketh, but probably just because Dean is hella annoying and is invading his personal space. He lets it go. 1 point to Dean. In Dean's defense, it wasn't actually that lengthy an order, certainly not "an order for the entire state of Connecticut" as Jess calls it (it was only 6 burgers) but it shouldn't have been a problem for Jess if he were just writing it down like the good little diner monkey he is. No points added or subtracted for either fella. Dean didn't really didn't do anything wrong, and Jess should have been doing his job.
Half a point to Jess for this quip. Could have used a little more spice, but a solid effort.
AMAZING. Calling Jess a female while also observing the job he does. 1 point to Dean because I started imagining Jess in a 50's diner waitress getup after that. Dean is at 2, Jess is at .5. Come on dude, you gotta catch up.
MEOW! Dean is on fire! With homoerotic longing, that is. Aching, yearning, crushing. Another point award to Dean, who stands at 3 points and Jess stagnates at a measly .5. Okay, okay, I'll bump the "Taylor's Errand Boy" quip up to a full point. 3 to 1.
Luke is lucky this place existed before Yelp reviews were a thing.
Half a point for Jess doing the bare minimum and writing down the order, and also because he's a cutie patooty. Dean stands at 3, Jess at 1.5.
Okay, when Dean first gave the order, it stood at a reasonable six burgers. It's now ballooned to over 15 overly complicated sandwiches, PLUS four hot dogs, two salads, five fries, five onion rings, an order of pickles, and a partridge in a pear tree. Half a point back to Jess, because he's been bamboozled and this order is truly fucking insane. This is why online ordering was invented. Lacking that, you don't just pull up to a restaurant and place an insane order like this on the spot. You call ahead, Dean Boy. It's just good manners, which you are sorely lacking. Even if he can write down the order, who's going to cook all this stuff so quickly? You know this place is woefully understaffed and Luke and Caesar are the only two people who cook for this entire place. 3 to 2.
Damn, Dean! You're really killing it today. Making up for all those years of hilariously stupid "You're the one who's going" and "you're wearing a tie" insults. Metaphorically killing it, that is. Jess is doing some actually killing. You should be scared. 4 for Dean vs 2 for Jess.
He's killed before and he's killed again Dean. Do you want to end up like Shane, Dean? This is how you end up like Shane. You might not be so lucky to be reincaranted after your death as a graceful yet vengeful bloodthirsty swan either. You should probably back down and take your order to Denny's instead. Due to the sheer insanity of threatening to filet a customer over some pickles ,Jess wins, of course.
AN UNEXPECTED NOPE! Bless. D: These men work for Taylor which means if you get it wrong they're going to send it back. You could be making this order until you die. (psssst, Dean, you know Jess isn't actually the one cooking the food, right? You goof a doof. This is only going to be a burden on poor Caesar I guess because Luke just skedaddled a few minutes ago). Also, both of you will have the good fortune to escape Stars Hollow and probably not die there. Rory, on the other hand. J: (with a knowing, homocidal smirk): Reads back entire order.
#gilmore girls#pickle gate#pickles#side of pickles#dean shit#denise rewatches gilmore girls#jess mariano#gilmore girls season 3#dear emily and richard#3x13#this is likely to be the only interesting thing that happens in this episode#it looks like a real snorer#NOPE#enemies to lovers#Luke Danes#frog plates#milo ventimiglia#rory gilmore#lorelai gilmore#literati#dear
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Things that ran through my head while watching this episode:
--Keh! I, the Bird Fic writer, automatically enjoy Ginko's presence. What an unabashed device she is for info-dumping. Tanjiro totally forgets about Kotetsu long to soak in the oddity of the bird being so full of contempt for him (yet she perches on Tanjiro's shoulder anyway--what a perfectly condescending crow). Keh! When this came out my friend and I had so much imitating her. Keh!
--When it comes to noticing foils, Tanjiro essentially tried to repeat what he did when he saw Genya abusing a child, but was shocked by how he was no where close to breaking Muichiro's bone, let alone injuring him at all. Tanjiro did a lot of talking with his hands here--first trying to intervene, then defending Nezuko (which he actually did get a reaction out of Muichiro), and finally that "no, no key for you!" bratty slap on the hand. And that bratty slap is so cute. XD I love that Tanjiro is so conflicted with "Yes, but you deserve scolding!! I cannot quite figure out why, you need to be scolded!" So different from his usual to-the-point brotherly scolding. Muichiro is an enigma to him.
--This is going slightly off topic, but I appreciate how Kimetsu Academy dives into subtle aspects of the characters, like Muichiro being so callous. It's not just a matter of amnesia, he really is just like that and he's unaware of it, even though his desire to help people--and prioritization of that--makes him good at heart. Although he takes pleasure in being a jerk to Gyokko, to anyone else, he's just cuttingly straightforward, memories or not. Yuichiro might have influence how deep he cuts, but the straightforwardness was always his own.
--I like how Tanjiro's progression is compared somewhat realistically against the Pillars. Yes, he gets much stronger fighting Yoriichi Type Zero, but it takes him much longer to evade the strikes that Muichiro did so with ease; and Muichiro already decreased the difficulty level by damaging the doll. Likewise with Pillars vs. Upper Moons, I like how Rengoku Alone vs. Upper Three shows how outmatched even Pillars usually are, Uzui + a lot of help + Tanjiro's mark unlocked vs. Upper Six shows how hard they had to scrape by to get that accomplishment (and Uzui considered himself less talented than a Pillar like Muichiro in the first place), Muichiro The Genius + a mark thanks to Tanjiro vs. Upper Five, Mitsuri + lots of help (including from Tanjiro who has a mark and already has gained experience fighting Upper Six) + a mark thanks to Tanjiro vs. Upper Four is all set up as believable progression that the ongoing success of the Corp vs. the Upper Moons truly is thanks to the full Corp's efforts thus far.
--Which brings me to what Tanjiro says to Kotetsu about how he may not see an end to Kibutsuji Muzan in his lifetime, but he has to entrust that will to everyone else in the Corp. T H I S. This is what I love about Kimetsu no Yaiba and about Tanjiro as the hero.
--Backing up a second and appreciating other Corp (and Corp adjacent) contributions, Yoriichi. We know he made an immeasurable contribution by teaching Breath technique, and eventually, that his techniques passed down by the Kamado family eventually contribute heavily to Muzan's defeat. It makes me curious how and when Yoriichi Type Zero was made--was it while Yoriichi was a Corp member, and he was embarrassed about it but accepted it as a means of teaching, and he had Kotetsu's ancestor follow him around like an observing puppy? Was it after Yoriichi was ousted and the Corp was near extinguished with Kokushibo going after the Oyakata-sama of that day and such, and an old Yoriichi fanboy made it out of a perceived need to replace what was lost? Anyway, what I especially thought during the episode was "Ufotable sure played around with the background music sounds for Yoriichi Type Zero---ohhhhh, I wonder if this is just the first iteration of a Yoriichi leitmotif???"
--Wait, wait, backing up more. I remember what I really wanted to say: The true testament to Muichiro's skill is that somehow his hair never gets chopped off.
--Ok, so Kotetsu-kun.
--As a character, he leaves the deepest impression for his ruthless training and spitting fire. At his core, though, Kotetsu is just a scared kid who has lost a family member he looked up to, and with his lack of skill, he kind of knows that his family legacy is going to end with him because he can't uphold it.
--I WANT SO MUCH FOR HE AND SENJURO TO BECOME PENPALS
--Tanjiro, please, introduce them
--While it's easy to look most as extreme cases like Kanao and Muichiro getting Tanjiro'd and having it fundamentally shake them to their core and change their whole outlook on life, Kotetsu is also somebody who got Tanjiro'd in one very monumental interaction. Ok, almost everybody gets that moment with Tanjiro, I know, but for Kotetsu, that was a conversation he will probably carry with him for the rest of his life. It gave him the strength to overcome his feelings of inadequacy and bravely face that he has a daunting mission, he might not even accomplish. I'm just so proud of him for declaring that he's going to emotionally prepare himself to see the damage, and even though it's a shock, he's able to overcome it.
--But also, he is just a kid who tends to think in extreme kid ways, and now Muichiro is the scum of the earth. It's also a very funny spin on the mean little boxing coach trope, because usually when a shonen hero encounters a new master at this point in their shonen style hero's journey, that master far exceeds them in ability, experience, and especially understanding of how to tap into whatever power it is that the hero is trying to acquire or master.
--Nope. In this case, Tanjiro acquires the new and improved smelling technique exactly because his new master understands nothing (except for analyzing battle movements) and just brutalized him because that is the simplistic way a child (who does not practice martial arts) would think to push a martial artist to new heights.
--Tanjiro could have died, whether beaten to death, slashed with a sword, or simply dehydrated, and it would have been because he was following the instructions of a child who had no qualifications whatsoever to train him.
--Tanjiro... why
--And all this time!! All this time, what about the hospitable people in the village? Were they not at all concerned what Tanjiro was missing for days? If anybody did see them, were they not alarmed about Tanjiro being on the brink of death from lack of sustenance? Did Kotetsu make jaunts back into the village to grab food for himself and be like, "oh, yeah, Tanjiro? I'm letting him train with Yoriichi Type Zero, because he's going to kick that Pillar's ass."
--Nezuko, were you asleep this whole time???? While your brother??? ALMOST DIED??????
--It's endearing to know that Haganezuka has spent this whole time training as well. We know how full of passion he is, though it usually comes out in anger or fascination for swords, but he's just as open with his happy feelings. The way he looked at that mitarashi dango? That he probably how he looks when he replays Tanjiro's words in his head. You got Tanjiro'd, man.
--But you know what I really love to picture??? Genya and Muichiro. They have been here that would time. Like, it might even have been right after Muichiro finished training with Yoriichi Type Zero that Kanamori even started on a sword for him (knowing how fast they go, after all, though that's a pretty extreme turnaround time). Did Genya and Muichiro hang out? I want so much to think that they hung out silently in the bath. It's like 50 First Dates because Muichiro keeps forgetting who Genya is. Except sometimes he remembers, which takes Genya by total surprise because he yelled at Muichiro and didn't think he'd remember or something. Because the reason Genya stays at the village so long is because Muichiro breaks his other arm or something. --Anyway, a final thing to note--it's not very often we get to see Tanjiro in a tense daytime battle! It's so refreshing to see his battle expressions under bright sunlight! Especially has he is, in some way, learning from Sun Breath techniques.
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