#but this feels like it would be a really fun activity

[quarterlifekitty]

This is so so random but I just saw a TikTok where a girlfriend wanted to spend time with her boyfriend while he worked on something in their garage so he gave her a random piece of wood that she could hammer some nails into so that she would feel included. Like he wasn’t using it for his project he just wanted to give her something to do and make her feel included and she was so happy. I might have explained it badly but it was pretty funny and cute and I keep thinking about the COD men doing that when their girl wants to spend time with them when they’re out in the garage :((

Lmao this is so cute because I also really love mindless meaningless tasks. Fun fact I used to just have a big piece of wax and I would use a knife to shave pieces off of it and then when I was done I’d melt all the shavings back together and start all over

I think Nikolai totally does this— but he makes it a little more useful. If there’s something he wants to use for parts, he’ll ask you to dismantle it. It’s like a big messy puzzle for you to tear apart.

Soap works with pretty dangerous chemicals and I doubt he does any of it at home but I think he’s obsessed with children’s STEM enrichment so he’s making activities trays for you since you don’t have any babies (yet). He’s making fizzy cloud dough.

John is kinda overprotective and nervous about you getting hurt (doesn’t matter if you’re like a trained soldier and he’s seen you kill people. He doesn’t want his darling using a handsaw). So he usually asks you to decorate stuff he’s made— tells you he doesn’t really have any sense for aesthetics. So you paint and stain his woodwork and pick out hardware for his furniture and apply molded embellishments, drawer liners, that sort of thing

Simon will literally just give you a plank of wood to hammer a bunch of nails into. Puts it up on the wall when you can’t put any more in. Unintentionally makes you into one of those people who can sink a nail in 1-3 hits if you focus. It’s a little scary.

I don’t think Gaz has any garage hobbies necessarily, so you’re making the enrichment for him. Like if you’re sewing, you just give him all your test/scrap fabric to pick stitches from and cut into teeny tiny pieces.

[xo2dee]

hey babes!! i looove your writing a lot and i was SO happy to see a fellow netflix dmc hater. i quite literally reread any one of your works every night before bed, it’s kind crack to me hehehe <3

is it cool if i request a dante x dense reader? one where he flirts with them but they just assume he’s just initiating some freaky friendly banter, and he’s lowk tweaking over how oblivious his crush his. feel free to be as creative or silly as you want with it, whatever you write will be awesome <3

PAIRING: Dante x Reader WARNINGS: Dense!Reader WORD COUNT: 1887

A/N: thank you for the request! aahsiodnfg the stray... but i had so much fun writing this and im glad you like my fics! i hope you enjoy this as well!

DMC MASTERLIST

If he was going to be completely honest with himself (and just himself… he was never going to tell you it), trying to get your attention to let you know that he saw you in a romantic sense and wanted to pursue a further relationship with you… was one of hardest things he’d ever done.

And it wasn’t even because he was coming up short in the flirting and the hinting, it was because you just didn’t get it.

Dante had never been one to actively pursue for a relationship, let alone chase after anyone to the point he was tripping on their heels each and every time an attempt failed. It wasn’t really in the job description or his nature to be looking for anyone to be with given there was a horrifying chance it would end badly and then he’d just be adding another person to the list of people he failed to keep safe, and that was not something he was looking to do. However, he’d been the one to treasure his humanity the most and latch to it as much as he could, and in consequence he’d become more emotional to the point he had to practically hide anything before it was shown on his expression – and for some reason that felt extremely pathetic but, damn, he just couldn’t help it when he saw you. He was Dante, the Legendary Devil Hunter, had so many demons crushed underneath his boots, had lived on his own and survived for so long with nothing but a sword strapped to his back and two guns in his hands, and he was suffering from a crush…

A crush on you (well, it wasn’t a crush at the point he had to be honest), and you had the thickest skull of anyone he’d ever met.

(And Dante was sure Vergil was somewhere laughing at him and his shit luck.)

Dante wasn’t some blushing virgin either, and he knew his way around sweettalking regardless if he meant it or not, and yet even when he meant it with you… it just never seemed to stick to your brain just what he was getting at. From going out of his way to do things for you, complimenting you, and even letting you drink some of his tomato juice and put a strawberry sundae on his tab for you, it still seemed like you really didn’t get it. And it had gotten so bad he’d resorted to cheesy and terrible pick-up lines hoping you would understand then, something he hadn’t pulled out in a long while and something he was going to be sure would work that time around given how upfront they were.

The results… well, they spoke well enough for themselves.

The first time you had been posed on the sofa of Devil May Cry, deeply into some book you’d picked up from the library Trish had mentioned you would like, and he saw the opportunity presented before him. He waited until you stretched after reading too long, placing the book down onto your lap and sighing as your attention was elsewhere for the moment and it was his time to shine. Dante only cleared his throat from behind his desk (and no, he wasn’t preening to make sure his hair looked good either), making sure your eyes glanced towards him for better effect, then he let the words roll off his tongue as smooth as butter on toast.

“I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?”

A beat and you paused, looking at him for a long moment that nearly made him sweat before your eyes widened and he thought finally – finally you understood what he was getting at. And then, you jumped up way too enthusiastically for hearing some cheesy pick-up line and practically jogged in place before grabbing the book from the floor in a haste. “Oh my God, wait…” you started, then you were rushing towards the front door of the shop, “I just remembered one book is due today – thanks for the reminder, Dante!”

The door slammed on your way out, and Dante could only sit there in silence and wonder if there was some type of curse that had been cast on him on the past that made his words not make sense… Or if you really just were dense as they came. Regardless, he wasn’t going to give up so easily.

The second time he threw another one-liner at you was when you both were on a job together, and you’d been good at sniping and swiping kills from him (and he’d be lying to say that he didn’t ease up some so that you get a few in and he could sit back and watch you) to the point once it was done he couldn’t help but say something to you. He waited until some adrenaline wore off, taking pride in how messy you looked with blood smeared on your cheek while taking a rag to clean the excess muck off your gun, then he tried once more with a bolder approach.

“Stop, drop, and roll now, cause babe, you're on fire.”

Instantaneously you reacted, and Dante could only sigh in exhaustion at how you began to turn in place looking for the ‘fire’ that was on your ass. “Where?! Help me then!”

Dante could feel his eye twitch as you hopped in place, his words once again lost on you as he felt his chances with you significantly reduce. But he was not a quitter – never was, and never would be.

The third time around had been his last attempt at pick-up lines, and it was even worse because you were in public that time eating together (which was basically a date, but you were so scatterbrained it didn’t necessarily strike a chord in you… though him and you alone eating together – hello, that was a date). Dante had finished his food by that point and was content just to sit and wait for you, watching you pick around your salad before the thought came to him looking at a lone cucumber you had pushed to the side. Cheesy he knew, but it was another attempt he wasn’t going to pass up with you two alone and so close to each other, and he waited until you finished chewing and swallowed before he tried for the last time.

“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”

You stopped moving the same time his heart did, a beat of silence passing in-between you two as you looked up at him for a few moments. Dante could practically feel his palms sweat as you stared at him, thinking he was finally beginning to see the gears in your head work together and he braced himself for the inevitable rejection (or acceptance… he still had hope) the second you blinked at him and tilted your head inquisitively. However, what left your lips second later with a smile made Dante want to throw himself onto oncoming traffic.

“Oh, are you still hungry? You can have some if you want.”

If he could’ve shoved his head through the wall he would’ve, or even dented the table with how hard he slammed his forehead into it. How were you so intelligent when it came to everyday things but the moment it came to someone hitting on you, you just had zero clue to what was going on? And it had gotten so bad the damn point Trish and Lady were giggling at his failures, but at least Trish took some pity and tried to spell it out for you one night at Devil May Cry.

She grinned as she leaned her head onto your shoulder, curling her arms around your own as she snickered in your ear and knocked her foot into yours, “Y’know, I think Dante adores you.”

Thanks, Trish. Way to be real subtle.

However, that didn’t matter, because you didn’t understand what she meant. At all. Again.

You tilted your head to where he sat at his desk (and he remained nonchalant as possible reading a magazine upside down), and smiled at him so big he thought he finally had his chance. But alas, misfortune was his middle name apparently. “Thank you, Dante. I really appreciate it.”

What did you have against him? Please.

Dante was sure he was going insane, the longer he battled the emotions magnifying the more time he spent around you, and the more you seemed to just not understand what he was getting at. And it had gotten so bad he accidentally paid the pizza delivery guy with his mind all muddled with thoughts of you instead of the slamming the door in his face and putting it on his tab. That was when he knew he had to swallow some pride and just take you by the shoulders and tell you what he was feeling for you, male ego be damned. He loved you and needed to you know before he started stabbing himself to get your attention and some sappy romance scene played out.

So, that was what he did, waited until you two were alone in the shop and grabbed you by shoulders and just… confessed.

“Listen… I’m in love with you. I have feelings for you. That means, I want you romantically, so please get that through your thick skull.” Okay, Dante would admit the last part wasn’t that necessary, but his frustrations were literally making his hair turn whiter – if that was even possible.

And thankfully – thankfully, you understood that time, and he got the satisfaction and relief at watching gape at his words before you began to look bashful. And to his heart’s content, you reached up and covered his hands with yours with a soft squeeze and an even softer smile on your lips, “You love me too? I didn’t think I was being noticeable either...”

Dante blinked, and he practically hear his jukebox stutter somewhere in the back of his mind as he kicked too hard one too many times. One word made his eye twitch again, and then he was feeling as dense as you were. “’Too..?’”

A laugh escaped you, “Yeah, I was kinda worried you could tell, but it looks like you saw straight through me –”

The jukebox stutter in Dante’s mind abruptly turned to an old Internet dial-up tone, and he had no wards before he completely tuned your words out and shook his head. He couldn’t take it anymore. “Please, just… kiss me before I lose my damn mind.”

You giggled and did as he asked, and Dante was sure his leg might’ve lifted a little at the feeling of your sweet lips on his he’d dreamt about so many times before. He might as well been practically floating too, breaking away from you as you hummed and leaned into his chest for an embrace, basking in the silence of an embarrassing confession together as you both seemed to get what you finally wanted. Discreetly he inhaled the scent of you, and yeah, he could easily get used to a relationship with you… especially with the hard part over.

Then, breaking the serene silence and Dante’s brain, you spoke –

“So how long have you liked me?”

[vonbabbitt]

ojima loredump from a couple years back i wrote for my staff

i can finally post more of these now yay. tw for ojima things

so ojima, as you may recall, was one of the OTHER people who was abused by a parent! hes also the youngest of three boys with his two older brothers being four and eight years older than him respectively! his family was pretty well-off financially and his dad had a pretty prominent position in the business world, so from the outside looking in, all was pretty good! except that by the time ojima was born, his parents' marriage was already in a rapid downward spiral and his brothers were already regularly seeing the fallout from this in the form of physical and verbal abuse. ojima was supposed to be the sort of "patch" that was meant to fix their marriage because his mom thought that having another kid would force ojimas dad to be more responsible/caring/present etc, except obviously that did not happen because having a new baby in the house just made things way more stressful. his parents ended up staying together regardless, but their relationship was constantly in turmoil and for the first few years of his life ojima grew up in pretty much the same environment as his brothers: abusive and socially high-pressure

enter ojimas uncle, his dad's brother and another fairly relevant man in the world of business. hes super friendly and the boys love him and hes fun to be around and ojima in particular is attached to him because when hes out with uncle kenji, theres no fighting or yelling or hitting and everything is cool and hes only three so he has no concept of the fact that this dude is getting……..a little bit too comfortable around him! so things eventually get to the point where his uncle is taking ojima on outings without his brothers present, and from there, things escalate, and ojimas relationship with his uncle very quickly becomes sexually abusive. ojima is THREE of course so he has no idea how fucked up this is but understands that he does not like it and does not want to be around his uncle anymore except that things dont stop there and nobody really finds out about it for another two years despite it being ongoing.

so at age five ojima is talking to his oldest brother, who is now thirteen (his name is tetsuya!) and has a total meltdown. he knows hes not supposed to tell people about what he does with his uncle but hes completely losing it and he trusts his brother. tetsuya, who actually understands whats happening and is pissed, thinks it wise to go to their dad, which does not end well! dad is pissed that theyd make accusations like that about his brother and refuses to indulge the idea that ojima could be telling the truth in any way. what ensues is his dad doubling down on the psychological abuse that ojima is going through at home, and for lack of a better term, basically gaslighting him into thinking that hes lying and everything is fine, despite the fact that shit with his uncle is STILL ACTIVELY HAPPENING at this age!

so by around age six, ojima has his first experience with blacking out. between what his uncle is doing, what his dad is doing, the fact that he cant even trust his own mind anymore and the pressure of having to present all this as being totally fine because of his family's social status, something in him just snaps and he completely dissociates. hes suddenly in this world in his head where nobody can hurt him, nothing bad can happen, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, he is completely in control. of everything. ojima has never, ever been in control and its something he becomes practically addicted to because its the only way he can feel safe. it goes from dissociating once at a particularly bad moment to dissociating constantly to escape how shitty his life is. when ojima turns ten, his brother moves out and its absolutely devastating for him because thats one of the only two people in the world he can trust. from that point he pretty much never sees him again. tetsuya does literally everything in his power to get ojima and their middle brother (his name is toshiharu!) out of that environment, but hes eighteen and hes not their parent and their dad has a lot of sway, so it doesnt amount to anything meaningful. ojima is told that his brother left because hes a shitty person and he hates their family and eventually he learns to internalize that and blames his confession and his supposed destruction of their family for tetsuya leaving and never coming back. the many many attempts for tetsuya to contact ojima and toshiharu go interrupted by their dad and the two dont speak again.

things basically continue with ojima being abused at home and at his uncle's until he turns fourteen, at which point the next big milestone is that toshiharu moves out and reconnects with tetsuya, and now the two are full steam ahead on getting ojima out of that environment. except that its still basically useless because they have no legal say over him and their dad is really powerful so everything is still mostly the same except that ojima is completely alone. hes dissociated a good 90% of the time at this point because hes just incapable of handling the absolute shitstorm of things happening to him. hes in a living hell and maladaptive daydreaming is basically his only escape and the only thing that keeps him going. because of this, hes seen as weird and stupid by other kids at school and is treated like shit there too. theres pretty much nothing left in his life that could be considered good or redeeming except for the two things he enjoys: daydreaming and drawing.

contact with his uncle starts to break off around age fifteen when his uncle starts losing interest due to ojima being older now. ojima gets tremendously fucked up over this, and while hes relieved that its not happening, his brain is so torn at this point that he gets caught in a sort of spiral of wondering why hes no longer desirable and why people keep leaving him, even when they're bad people that ojima doesnt want in his life. in this time between age fifteen and age seventeen, things start to improve slightly because his uncle isnt touching him and his dad isnt constantly brainwashing him to get him to forget about his uncle touching him so for this brief gap of time, he can almost live comfortably. he starts doing some freelance illustration work because his dad wants him to get a job and it turns out hes pretty damn good at it, and he enjoys it a lot, so he spends a lot of his time illustrating. hes mainly motivated by the fact that he wants to give other kids like him a beautiful and vivid place to escape to, so he depicts all these fantastical and whimsical worlds in kids' books to give them that same sort of escape that he needed. his brothers are still desperately trying to get in contact with him/get him out of their old house, but its been years by this point and all he knows is that they both decided to completely abandon him one day and never look back, something that he entirely blames himself for.

despite things getting a bit better for him, ojima basically never grows out of the daydreaming and it takes over his life to some degree, which honestly? its debatable whether its good for him or not. on one hand, its extremely disruptive to his life and is not a healthy coping mechanism by any means. on the other hand, it was literally the only thing that got him through the past ten years alive and continues to be his only escape from the shitty life he has. anyway ojima is sixteen now! the physical and psychological torment from his dad starts to transition into a more familial/patriarchal pressure at this point - tetsuya and toshiharu are gone and severed, which means ojima is the son thats going to take over his business one day. suddenly his dad is treating him like a grown man when hes ever only been treated like a doll for his entire life - now hes being taught about business and social policy and world affairs and all these things he isnt interested in and doesnt understand. he really just wants to draw and dissociate and pretend nothing bad is happening to him. except even though hes not being tormented anymore, things are not good! because he has, obviously, absolutely massive amounts of trauma that he is not coping with. instead of ever dwelling on this or addressing it, which arent really options for him anyway, he goes deeper and deeper into his own headspace to escape it and pretty much locks himself away in this dissociative world to ignore everything that isnt his own art.

then ojima turns SEVENTEEN and the world flips. his brothers finally manage to get their case in front of a judge and the ojima family business SINKS LIKE A ROCK. his parents are in jail, and hes suddenly out on his ass. his brothers scoop him up pretty fast and do their best to piece him back together, but ojima is absolutely fucked in the head by this point. he lives with tetsuya and toshiharu and continues working because he loves to work, but he seriously struggles to rebuild the relationship he once had with them because in his understanding, they hate him. thats what hes been told for years. they live in this very tense situation where his brothers desperately want to help him, but they are also traumatized and they do not know what to do for him because hes just an absolute mess. ojima bounces around the idea of therapy for a while and frequently registers for therapy/drops out/registers/drops out repeat repeat repeat because he knows his broken and he knows he needs help, but going to therapy means actually thinking about his past and what happened to him and he cant do that. its terrifying and it hurts and he just wants to be in his own headspace. it leads to a lot of very emotional conversations with his brothers who still just dont know what to do but desperately want to get him help somehow.

and then the killing game starts

[clockwayswrites]

Danny in Metropolis, Ch 5 Part 2

masterpost shhhh migraine, hell week, worked like 14 hours yesterday. no editing please <3

Kon leaned against the open door frame between the hall and kitchen. He watched Lois peel an apple with practiced ease; Jon hated apple skin. Kon had no idea where Jon got that from, considering Clark would eat most things and Lois was snacking on the peel as she worked.

“Need anything, honey?” Lois asked without taking her eyes off the apple and the sharp knife in her hand.

The nickname always made Kon feel equally warmed and uncomfortable. Honey—someone Lois cared about. She had cared since about fifteen minutes after she’d met him. The first fifteen she’d spent chewing Clark out.

Kon cleared his throat. “Yeah. I actually wanted to ask you for some advice, if you’ve got a moment.”

“Welcome to my parlor, pull up a chair,” Lois said with a grin. “Want an apple slice?”

“Sure.” Kon took the offered slice and went to lean against an open spot of counter. He took the excuse of eating the snack to try and gather his thoughts. “So, um, what sort of activity is good for a first date with someone you already know?”

Lois almost fumbled both the apple and the knife with how quickly she spun to look at him. “No! Really? Who made the move first, you or Danny?”

Kon crossed his arms. “That obvious?”

“Honey, you forget I fell for a Midwestern dork myself, I know what that looks like,” Lois said as she motioned with the knife. “Besides, you were cuddling with him. You only let your group cuddle with you and even then you shove them off half the time.”

Kon opened is mouth to protest, but couldn’t actually find any words to defend himself with so he just frowned.

“Well?” Lois asked with a teasing smile. “Who made the move?”

“Me,” Kon grumbled. “A little one, but then Danny made me talk about it, and I maybe kissed him.”

“Look at you go! Proud of you, kid,” Lois said.

Which was a surprise.

“…yeah?”

“Yeah. Like I said, it was clear that you were sweet on him. It’s too easy to do nothing about a crush. I’m proud that you did something about it,” Lois said. It sounded true.

“I… thanks,” Kon said. He rubbed at his cheek. “But I don’t know what to do for a date. Dates weren’t exactly something that Lex had downloaded into my brain like math.”

“I wouldn’t trust anything that Lex thought about dates anyways,” Lois said dryly.

Kon thought abut that for a moment. “Yeah, okay, true. But that still doesn’t help.”

“We’re getting there!” Lois said and tossed another piece of apple at him.

He caught it and munched on it as a way to stay quiet.

“A movie date is still a classic,” she said. “But if Danny is feeling better, there’s always bowling or roller skating. There’s this grate place—I did a story on the women there once—that’s a roller derby rink but when there aren’t matches, it’s just a place to skate. They use the funds to help pay for the team, but it’s also set up to be a safe place for queer teens and young adults to hang out at. That might be something fun.”

Kon thought about it. “…that could be fun, yeah. Do you remember the name of it?”

Lois shook her head as she piled all the apple splices onto a plate with some cheese slices. “Not off the top of my head, but I can pull it up at work tomorrow and text you to it, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s great,” Kon said and stole a slice of cheese. “We wouldn’t do anything before Friday anyways, bit chem test coming up.”

“Ugh, chem, please tell me you don’t need any help with that one.”

“Nope, that I did get downloaded into my brain,” Kon said with a grin.

“Well, about time Lex did something useful,” Lois joked as she headed off to find Jon with the snack plate. “Other than making you I mean, honey!”

Kon ducked his head an rubbed at his cheek. Under his breath he mumbled, “…thanks, Mom.”

[moyazaika]

have your cake (and eat it too)

yandere! L Lawliet (death note) x gn! reader

cw; L is his own tw, imposter syndrome, explicit nsfw, mdni 18+

genie's notes; yayyy commissioned piece for @ozzgin !!! thank you ozzy my beloved for giving me the opportunity to write about my man ♡ if this feels long that's bc it is LOL i was having sm fun writing it got to 4k words,, can you tell i'm bonkers for this guy,, nevertheless, i hope you enjoy reading as much as i did writing :D

“Take a picture,” you murmur. “It’ll last longer.”

“I know.”

You spare the man sitting besides you a quick glance. Despite the numerous dossiers emptied out onto the oak table before you, the detective’s attention is transfixed solely on you. Has been, for the past few hours. 

“Ryuzaki?” You try again, hoping he’ll get the hint this time.

Stop fucking staring at me.

No such luck. He only tilts his head to the side expectantly and you wonder, not for the first time, whether he enjoys playing the fool, or if he’s just truly ignorant of your discomfort. 

You don’t know which answer would be worse.

What you do know is that you can count on both hands the number of times you’ve been alone in a room with L. After all, it’s the exact same number of times that you’ve silently prayed for Kira to do you a favour and take you next.

The memory of the rest of the task force’s departure is still vivid. Yagami’s sympathetic smile. Matsuda’s shameless commiserations. 

You can barely think. The sensation is strangely claustrophobic. Even now, you can feel the weight of his gaze settling over you like a burden. 

With a weary sigh, you turn back to the pictures you’re thumbing through. All images of Kira’s most recent victims; their pale faces and milky eyes stare back at you with accusation. Months have passed without any sufficient leads and sure, you pull at loose threads when you can—but the mystery never quite unravels itself the way you hope for it to. There are no frayed edges. No loose seams. 

Whoever this guy is, you can tell the smug son of a bitch takes pride in his work. Has you working overtime, too. 

The wall clock across the room reads twenty minutes until five, but you didn’t really need to check the time to know that. With how high up you are, you can already glimpse the makeshift beginnings of dawn through the narrow gaps between Tokyo’s neon-lit buildings. 

Screw this.

You’re going to cut your losses; already know you’re not getting any work done in these conditions. Better to mull over the details in the privacy of your own space—far from prying eyes. 

You take the opportunity to flick through the pictures of civilian corpses once more, committing the details of the dead men’s faces to memory before finally tossing the alarmingly heavy file down onto the desk in front of you, where it lands with a resounding, strangely satisfying thud.

L doesn’t even flinch. 

“I’m going home,” you announce, actively making an effort to avoid meeting the man’s eyes. Your chair scrapes against the floor as you stand, and the noise is unbearably loud within the otherwise silent room. 

“So soon?”

You laugh at that. “It’s four in the morning, Ryuzaki.”

“Hm. So it is.”

“Time flies,” you shrug on your coat. “When are you going to leave?”

You ask out of politeness rather than any genuine curiosity. The question mumbled absently as you rummage around in your pockets for your hotel keycard. 

You’re not from Tokyo. Just staying here for as long as the task force needs you to. Called in months ago from a nearby prefecture because of your stellar track record. You like to think you’re intelligent, and that Japan’s top minds recognised that about you. You suppose it doesn’t really hurt that you’ve got some connections to the national police force. 

Though you’re glad to be trusted with the case, and happy to be here—you’ve never really cared much for the city of Tokyo itself. You miss the humdrum of the countryside; the constant chirping of cicadas hidden amidst tall blades of grass. A clear, blue sky unblemished by the fine points of soulless skyscrapers. Weaving through crowds without wondering whether one of them might be the mass murderer you’re hunting down.

L’s monotonous drawl snaps you out of your thoughts. Brings you back to exactly where you are right now and not necessarily where you’d prefer to find yourself, instead.

“I won’t.”

“You won’t?”

“Yes,” he repeats. Enunciates the syllables as if speaking to a child. No further clarification.

“I’m sorry.” You’re really not. “Are you seriously going to sleep here again?” You honestly don’t mean to sound disrespectful but the incredulity in your tone is difficult to mask. Much less in the presence of the world’s greatest detective. 

The stories are true. You found them difficult to believe at first, but since then, you’ve confirmed the extent of L’s genius with your own observations. The man before you can function perfectly without any sleep for days on end. You remember the first time you’d left the office; come back the next morning to find L hadn’t moved an inch from where you’d left him last night. 

Even still, it’s hard not to notice the prominent bags under his black eyes. The state of his clothes, all crumpled. The greasy, unkempt hair that frames his face. Despite his intellect, he’s still only human.

Even if it can be alarmingly easy to forget that.

“Why?” L asks blankly. “Are you offering me an alternative?”

Briefly, you think of the deputy director learning, come morning, that you’d left L to his own devices; The hard lines of disappointment marring his features. The disapproval in his otherwise polite gaze. He can’t be left alone. Something about being far too valuable, if you recall correctly. Or did he say vulnerable?

Regardless, you already feel like some charity case, even though you know that you’ve clawed your way to be here; called in favours and kissed the feet of men far beneath you. You deserve to be on the Kira task force as much as everybody else. Yet, you know what your answer will be long before you’ve even said anything. 

Something tells you L knows, too. He’s never been the sort of man to ask questions that serve him no greater purpose. 

Sometimes, you detest people like Matsuda for the ease with which they inhabit such unwelcoming spaces so boldly. The ability to exist so openly, without inhibition. But you detest yourself most of all, especially in moments like this where you’re burdened by the need to prove your belonging.

Well– 

Are you offerring me an alternative?

–Shit.

“Yes.” you concede, not even bothering to look back at him as you reach to call for the elevator. Press the button with considerably more force than you should. “I suppose I am.” 

You’re not nice. You’re certainly not charitable. But you are easy.

You spare him an exasperated glance over your shoulder when the doors finally slide open with a yielding sigh. From behind you, L makes no indication to move. You begin to doubt if he’s even heard you. Or, more specifically, whether he was ever really listening to begin with. His black eyes can feel so fucking vacant, sometimes.

“You coming?” you impatiently tap your foot against the carpeted floor as you hold the elevator open with narrowed eyes. “Or do I need to send you an invitation, Ryuzaki?”

“No need.” At that, L finally stands. He offers you one of his rare, private smiles; “I believe you already have.”

-

There are a couple of things you come to notice about L that day, when the ongoing investigation isn’t at the forefront of your buzzing mind.

It’s there, of course, because it’s difficult for any person to forget all of those dead faces; the list of unanswered questions growing by the hour—but the moment you slide your key into the lock and it turns with a satisfying click to open right into your little hotel room, it feels like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders.

Take, for example, L’s penchant to be barefoot. He immediately steps out of his shoes the moment you kick the door shut behind you. Sinks his toes into the carpet (stained, and scratchy) with a blissful sigh. 

You're choosing to ignore that.

Better not to drive yourself up the wall by paying attention to every little thing he does.

“Hungry?” you shrug off your coat and toss it onto the sofa.

“Sure.” And it’s not exactly a response, but you think this is the best you’re going to get from the man. Go rummaging through the fridge straight away, as you wave for him to take a sit in the tiny living room across from you. 

“I know you have a sweet tooth,” The leather sofa crackles beneath his weight as he perches right on the edge, legs tucked up against his chest and his head resting over his knees sideways; so that he’s watching you in the kitchen. “So I’m cutting you a slice of some cake I made last weekend. Couldn’t finish it by myself if I tried.”

You eye him wearily as you set down the plates on the coffee table before the sofa, making sure to leave as much distance as is possible between the two of you when you sit down.

He sort of reminds you like a cat when he's like this, all curled up and comfortable. When he tries his first spoonful of sponge cake, he might as well start purring with delight. “This is good,” he mumbles between bites. “I didn’t know you could bake.”

“Yeah?” You impatiently drum your fingers against the armrest. “Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

The moment stretches for longer than it should. 

You meet the detective’s eyes head on, find they’re as wide as saucers, staring back at you; and peering right inside. It feels downright voyeuristic and so fucking violating, the way you can feel him peeling back everything that you are to assess something nestled much, much deeper within. 

You look away first, and the moment you do, you hear L hum approvingly—he sounds pleased, almost.

And though you know he would never seriously consider you competition, you still can’t shake the strange feeling that you’ve lost at something.

“No." L concludes. "No, I don’t think so.”

He sets his plate down on the table with a clink and you’re not surprised to find he’s already finished eating. All that remains is a single cherry; so violently red against the pale porcelain it sits on. 

“Tell me,” He pinches the stem between his forefinger and thumb, and it’s the first reprieve you’re gifted from the weight of his calculating gaze; as his attention shifts to the sweet fruit he holds. “Why do you hate me?”

Shit, you realise your fingers are digging into the cracks in the leather armrest; flex your hand a few times before making an attempt to calmly fold them in your lap. Maybe because you make me feel like a fucking failure?

“I think you’re too smart for your own good.”

He gives that some thought. “As are you.”

It’s laughable, really. L is leagues above you in terms of intelligence. Prestige. Power. Who are you standing next to one of the greatest minds in the world? Who are you to deign that he recognises you?

You refuse to even recognise yourself. 

“You don’t believe that,” you scoff. 

“I do. I knew it from the moment you were first introduced to me.” 

You pick up on something strange about the way he phrases it; the necessity of awareness required from both parties in a first introduction.

I'm losing it.

You shake your head, abandoning the tendrils of something akin to unease that had just begun to creep up on you. When else would he have first known you? It's a stupid thought. You’re not exactly the sort of person preceded by some magnificent reputation. 

“Sure,” you decide to entertain him nevertheless, if only to see how far he’ll go. You wonder whether this is as close to gratitude as L can express, but is it for the hospitality or for the cake or for something in between? “And why was that, Ryuzaki?”

“L,” he corrects you. “Because even then, you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“And that’s what supposedly makes me a genius?” you scrunch your nose, “because I don’t like you?”

“So you insist on maintaining,” he drawls. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Did you know, detective,” L ventures thoughtfully, “your heart rate always spikes quite dramatically whenever you’re alone with me.” His black eyes flicker to meet yours as he breaks off the stem—pops the cherry between his grinning lips. 

You dig your nails into the skin of your palm. Focus on the sharp sensations of precise pain; imagine the little indents of crescent moons that will litter your skin later on. 

“Ah,” your voice is unfamiliar even to your own ears. “Is that so?”

He eats the stem next, and you notice, not for the first time, that the man's skin is so pale, it’s like a thin sheet has been stretched tight over brittle bones. You can easily trace the jagged lines of blue and purple veins that curl around and underneath his face.

L’s lithe fingers reach into his mouth where the dark stem sits between his teeth. You catch a glimpse of his tongue as he pulls out the stem, now damp, and examines it between his fingers; holds it up to the light.

It takes you a few moments to realise he must be admiring his efforts. Or, rather just observing them. You’re not really sure if L is capable of awe. Whether he cares for it, given how easily he earns it; must not mean much to him.

(You’ll find out later that he is capable of awe, though there are more important things he hopes to garner.)

The cherry stem’s all folded up on itself; he’s tied it into a knot with his tongue. 

Instinctively, your eyes dart to his mouth. “I didn’t know you could do that,” you confess lowly. “Neat party trick, huh?”

And the moment you voice the thought, you wish you’d stayed silent. The curl of his lips is infuriatingly self-satisfied, as if he’s in on some grand secret you’re not quite privy to; it feels the closest L will ever get to outright mockery, yet even then, there is something you must have mistaken for sincerity in his gaze. 

You’re not sure whether that makes you feel better, or worse.

“There’s a lot,” L confesses slowly, “that you don’t know about me.”

It doesn’t escape you that even something as simple as this sounds truer when L says it.

-

Later, the dishes have been cleared away and though you can barely keep your eyes open, you’re rummaging through your suitcase to pass him a new toothbrush because, you insist, you always carry spares. L admits he's never had to brush his own teeth before.

One hand on his jaw, and another curled around the brand new toothbrush you'd managed to dig out for him, you give him a reluctant demonstration.

You don't think he listens to a word you say; his attention seems to be focused elsewhere.

After his turn, you pad into the attached bathroom and brush your own teeth with the overhead lights switched off.

Tired, you don’t notice as you unscrew the lid of your old toothpaste that your own brush’s bristles are wet, whereas the toothbrush you’d handed to L is still unopened in its plastic packaging, left positioned neatly by the basin. 

-

L is garishly tall. 

It can be easy to forget that considering how often he’s hunched over a desk or curled up in a chair. When he stretches to yawn, his shirt rides up his abdomen, revealing a pale sliver of skin underneath. You avert your gaze. The last thing you need is to be caught staring.

“Take the bed,” you offer, already sinking into the loveseat's cushions.

L stares at you as he scratches his jaw. “I don’t sleep in beds.”

You don’t even want to begin deciphering that statement. You’re beginning to think this cryptic act is purposeful; that he gets off on being evasive. Out of reach. 

You’re not even sure if he can see you, considering how dark it is in the room, but you put on your sweetest smile all the same. It feels vindictive and thrilling and you believe it’s the least he deserves.

“Well, cheers to trying new things, Ryuzaki.”

He says nothing in response, and even though he’s nothing more than a vague silhouette in the absence of light, you manage to make out the slowly way he climbs into the bed—crawls to the edge of the Queen bed that’s closest to your own spot. Pulls up the duvet to his chin, and lies on his side so he's directly facing you.

It’s unnerving. You wish desperately in times like these that you could click his head open like a purse and look inside; it's impossible to tell what he's thinking.

And then he starts talking.

-

Finally, there’s a lull in your conversation that stretches far too long.

You make no effort to salvage the exchange, relishing in its conclusion, and much to your relief, neither does your partner. It’s not necessarily that L’s bad company but it’s also not not that he’s impossibly infuriating to talk to. You just want to sleep. It's been a long fucking day.

You close your eyes, allowing a welcome silence to settle inside the stuffy room. 

…

Then you try to ignore it.

…

You really, really do.

…

Much to your dismay, even your best efforts prove futile. The quiet doesn’t last nearly as long as you’d like. 

“Ryuzaki,” In the face of overwhelming fatigue, all niceties are forgotten and honesty reigns supreme. “Why the fuck can I feel your eyes on me?”

“I can’t sleep,” he simply responds, in lieu of a proper answer. 

You might’ve laughed if you weren’t so tired. Unlike him, you unfortunately do not have the seemingly inhumane ability to function properly without multiple consecutive nights of sleep. So, with a long sigh, you decide to let it slide.

Just one more time. 

Then, with disapproval evident in your weary voice, because it would feel too much like accepting defeat to say nothing at all; “you know, normal people usually just count sheep.”

“Mm." The sheets rustle. "Sleep well.” 

“...Thanks. You, too.”

Behind the heavy blackout curtains of the hotel room, the sky turns a soft, dreamy lilac. 

Outside, some parts of Tokyo wake up to the mellifluous sound of morning’s first birdsong, and others take that as their queue to drunkenly stumble home in search of a warm bed to fall into.

On the busy streets dozens of stories below yours, the city moves as it always does. Vibrant and alive—though waiting with bated breath in anticipation of death; Kira the only constant in this new world.

You don’t even realise you’ve dozed off in the armchair; sleep is simply a welcome reprieve from such a long day. A privilege, and not the routine it used to be.

You dream of running away from something. Of simply falling through a solid floor.

Conversely, though he has taken your advice, L finds rest evades him.

Content with staying awake, he takes the rare opportunity to simply observe you from across the room, and it’s such a fascinating sight, to finally see you so at peace. You usually run on such a short fuse. Well-meaning, but difficult to deal with nonetheless. You like to be seen; hate to be stared at. 

Aren’t you a charmer?

In the pale beginnings of dawn, he is a silent shepherd. He smiles at the thought, whilst gnawing on his thumbnail. 

The sheep he counts all have your face.

-

You’re not sure what exactly it is that wakes you up, but it’s quiet when you do.

Even still, something causes you to stir, and before you know it, you’re pulled out of a sleep you hadn’t even realised you’d fallen into with bleary, blinking eyes that adjust to the dark and land on—

Nothing. A startling absence where L’s body should be.

The bed’s empty, and the crinkled duvet has been hastily tossed to one side. You notice that the warm glow of the nauseatingly yellow bathroom lighting spills out from behind the door, left open just a crack. It strikes you as strange, that the door’s not fully closed. You feel justified in looking in. Call it concern. Curiosity. 

Does it really matter?

“Ryuzaki?” you venture, stepping closer. No answer. The silence is strangely more overbearing when you’re standing right in front of the bathroom door. With a hand resting on the brass knob, you decide to try once more. “Hey. L?” Silence, still and true.

It feels a lot like peering into Pandora’s box, when you inevitably do push the door open. 

Look inside. And, huh—

There is L, hunched over the sink. 

In one hand, he is holding what is unmistakably your underwear. You recognise the soft cotton instinctively, even though it’s balled up tight in his fist and he’s pressing the fabric against his nose; shuddering when he breathes in, languidly long and deep like a desperate smoker's drag of his last cigarette.

The lighting overhead casts sweeping shadows over his pale face, but despite the darkness the rest of his features are enshrouded in, you still manage to make out those black eyes; blown wide, wide open. Thick and heavy like eerily lucid, deep, dark pools of tar you can feel yourself getting sucked into.

His hand works at a methodologically steady pace. His breathing is perfectly controlled as he works at his cock with deft fingers. His tip is flushed a painful pink, leaks pre that’s been smeared down the shaft’s length. Between glimpses, you manage to make out prominent veins that eagerly pulse in response to his touch. 

Proud. Heavy.

Hungry to sink into something far tighter than his fist.

—Your breath catches in your throat. It is impossible to look away. 

The following moments are hazy, at best. Time seems to slow down to a crawl when the scene before you clicks into place, and the world moves in still frames after that; the last one lingering too long and imposing over the next. 

You don’t remember saying anything, but you must have let a gasp slip past your parted lips. Stumbled backwards, perhaps. Some involuntary indication of your presence, peering in behind him.  

Time fractures completely when L looks up; gaze snapping straight to meet yours in the mirror.

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection, looking so laughably petrified—clearly just having rolled out of bed. There is not a single thing to be said as he lets his black eyes wander, appraisal silent and shameless as he drinks in the state of you; all tousled hair and crumpled clothes and bare feet. 

His hands work faster then. His movements grow jerkier, breathing shallow. Eyes flutter shut, finally looking away from you, as his grip on your underwear tightens—knuckles white from the sheer effort of holding on, refusing to let go and inhaling your scent—nose buried desperately deep in the dirty cotton. Pathetically fervent. Chasing that blissful high with a new vigour. 

You have been taught by many a smart man to never go seeking answers to questions when you do not wish to face them.

And so, when you glimpse this stranger’s tongue dart out to wet his cracking, dry lips the exact moment they wrap around the shape of a familiar name—hear the syllables repeated with a devotion akin to reverence; something like prayer—the man shudders exactly when you do.

Comes undone just as you slam the door shut.

You’re standing there in what you think might be shock, with a shaking hand resting against the doorknob. You choose to focus on the way in which the hair on your arm stands on end. Because if it’s not that, it’d be the sound of the tap running. 

The door swings open abruptly. The man breezes past you, and quietly crawls back into bed. Rooted to where you stand, it’s all you can do to turn over your shoulder and observe him.

He catches you staring, merely tilts his head to the side from where he’s settled into the sheets, a coy little lilt to his lips. 

For the first time, you’re the one who doesn’t look away. Couldn’t, even if you tried. Stygian strands of hair fall over his eyes, the darkest black they’ve ever been. Despite the fact that it feels like you’re staring at a stranger, facing him is familiar, as it always is; like wading into a thick tar.

Viscous and heavy and clinging.

You might’ve missed what he said if you weren’t so hyper focused on his every minute movement. His words are barely above a whisper, after all, and carry a strange lilt—as if recited, almost. Like he’s reading a line; performing some private joke.

“Take a picture,” L smiles knowingly. “It’ll last longer.”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi, probably bit of an odd one but my mum died recently and I haven't had sex since (unusual), it just feels disrespectful and I'm not sure why. Is there a certain amount if time I should be waiting or am I just being weird?

hi anon,

look. grief is really fucky. it takes up a lot of your energy, mental and physical. if you're just not horny when you're grieving, that makes a lot of sense. maybe you don't have the juice, maybe it's hard to do something fun while you're still sorting through a lot of painful emotions. I would wager that, probably, sex isn't the only activity that's seen some disruption since your mum passed. that's fine. it's understandable that there will be some changes when to your life when someone who was, presumably, important to you dies. that's not weird, and it will likely pass with time as you adjust to life without that important person.

it's also not weird if you do want to have sex. like, if you want to go out and bang ten people right now, that's not wrong of you. at risk of being crass, there is no wrong or right amount to want to have sex after your mom dies. sex is fun and it can make you feel good and it can provide a very needed distraction from things that suck and are terrible, like somebody dying. that's not wrong to want.

basically like. if you want to have sex that's fine. and if you don't want to have sex for a while, that's also fine. those are both normal things, and there's no prescribed amount of time that you need to wait. you're not being weird, I think you're probably just sad. sadness can cause a lot of behavior that feels pretty weird, but arguably that's when it's most important to be gentle with yourself about your weird behavior. let yourself feel your feelings, all of them, without judgment. it's okay.

[skeletonh0e]

Can we get the skeletons with an Asexueal SO?

They can and maybe even like to have intimate times when their mate wants to, but they themselves never feel that need.

(Really like your work btw! ♡)

Thank you! And hmmm, so asexual but sex neutral / leaning sex positive? You got it! Gender neutral reader, SFW post but suggestive themes ahead

The boys x Asexual Reader!

Classic Sans:

No complaints here

He's demisexual himself and doesn't really place sex as a high priority

So yeah he's fully content for a romantic evening of strong at home and benchwatching whatever you two can find on TV

He might prompt it on occasion given he does feel attraction to you but there's no drive to make it a frequent thing

Probably the type to call you "the ace up his sleeve" or some shit because he's a dork

Underswap Sans:

Huh. Didn't know that was a thing!

Tell him more?

He's legit interested and all for exploring things he was previously unaware of him, he'll be sure to learn boundaries, big no no's and the right time to ask for that kind of stuff

But otherwise not a big deal

He's not a horn dog but he is touchey and gets dirty on occasion so again always speak up when you need him to back off

Underfell Sans:

Make sure you establish that you have a lack of interest in sex in general NOT just a lack of attraction to him

Listen man is insecure, whether he admits it or not

But I'll be real and say it doesn't change much

He actually is a bit of a horn dog and as long as you let him he's gonna keep being one

Does dial it make some since he knows it's not your thing though and willing to compromise by doing some activities that do spark your fancy

Underlust Sans:

........new terrority for him.

He knows what asexuality is, but like....why are you with him? Do you actually like him for just his personality? (Sounds fake but okay)

That being said you might have to remind him a few times that sex is okay but it's not your favorite thing to do either

Again he's not mad by it and it's not a deal breaker just....new to him. Nearly all his relationships have a big emphasis on sex so yeah

Give him a bit he's learning but he'll adjust eventually

Horrortale Sans:

Cool.

What do you want for dinner?

Makes no difference, he'll keep in mind that sex is on the table but it's not something you yourself is crazy about

You're happy and healthy, that's all he cares aboutm

Still gonna bite you a lot though

Fresh Sans:

"what is that?"

*cue explanation*

"there's a word for that???"

Surprise! He's asexual too!

Maybe you two do have sex cuz you're bored one day but it seems like you both would rather play Mario Kart and he's all for it

Killer Sans:

Doesn't really get it but whatever

Listen he's an absolute shit head but he's not going to force you into anything that you're uncomfortable with, especially regarding sex

He's still gonna be clingy and flirty though, literally nothing has changed

Again, dating Killer involves you consistently enforcing firm boundaries or it's a bad time over all. You give him an inch he'll take a mile.

Otherwise, yeah, he is the same

Dust Sans:

Another demisexual boy, so pretty content for the most part

Since heated moments are a bit more rare he'll go out of his way to make them a bit more special but that's it

He wants it to be fun for you too, not just for him

Honestly he mostly likes sex for the intimacy anyway so as long as he gets that in some form there's no complaints

Please he'll do anything don't leave him

Nightmare Sans:

Intital response?

"What is with you mortals and labeling everything?"

Listen...sexuality....gender identity....man does not care. You're his regardless

He'll make note of your preferences sure and keep them in mind but doesn't see why anyone would make it a big deal

But yeah he's not a hyper horny guy or anything, so little to no sex doesn't really bother him.

[slightly-sigilant]

for all of the people going W H Y at Rafael's lack of ambition progress, I think it's due to a number of reasons:

ambitions suffer a lot from pacing. I blame this on all the gates that you encounter - not just the infamous ones like Dreamgate but all the smaller item ones along the way. this is one of the main things that sets ambitions apart from other long stories like Evolution, Firmament, etc for me - those stories had some gates as well, but they pale in comparison to the ones you'd find in ambitions.

there is only so much story I can handle before my brain starts to overflow, and not in a fun way. exceptional stories are basically the perfect size for me. anything bigger, I have to grit my teeth and power through. this is harder with ambitions thanks to the above point.

I tend to be motivated most by mechanical rewards, and the one mechanical reward I'm motivated by in HD is at the very end. this makes it harder for my dopamine-starved brain to latch onto compared to, say, fucking off across the zee to get some cool boots. or advancing the railway and unlocking a new area, or spending 500 goldfish at the lab to raise a stat. there are so many things to do that will provide me with more immediate returns! (this is also why I keep putting off Evolution)

(and I feel no shame about having priorities like that in my fun time. I spend all of my day job forcing myself to do things I don't want to do for the promise of an eventual reward. I swore to myself that I simply would Not do that for activities that are meant to be fun.)

finally, HD simply isn't canon to Rafael. I'm going to pick a Treasure that suits him vibes-wise and stats-wise, but in-universe, none of this actually happened to him. so I'm not super motivated from a character perspective, either.

it is something I'll eventually get around to, but probably on the scale of "I'll do it once I run out of more immediate things to do, or if the mood suddenly seizes me, or if I decide I really, really, really need that +2 Player of Chess as soon as possible." either way, I'm not stressed about it. it'll happen when it happens~

for now, I have birds to feed, rats to hire, and so much spy bullshit to do

this traumatized everyone in the official failbetter discord when I posted it so I'm inflicting this suffering upon all of you on tumblr too. here is rafael's progress in railway, firmament, and heart's desire respectively

[seafoamreadings]

week of may 4th, 2025

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: it's a week of earthy aspects (not always in earthy signs) leading up to a scorpionic full moon which can altogether have you feeling stifled and then ready to explode. on the bright side, venus in your sign helps you stay zesty and with any luck you won't get too bogged down.

taurus: mercury arrives in your sign at last. many will grumble - mercury in taurus is a bit slower, plodding, very deliberate and conscientious. you know the value of taking your time and thinking things through so don't let impatient people persuade you to sacrifice quality.

gemini: your ruling planet is in a position which can have you really tongue-tied or in a haze of brain fog. ego battles and power struggles are also likely. don't beat yourself up about it but remember, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all! unless you're really, really ready to burn a bridge.

cancerians: the scorpio full moon this week is emotionally heavy, although this can also be nice in some ways! while full moons are often good for social events, though, i would say this one is a little better spent in peaceful solitude, mining one's own psyche for gems of clarity in a time when much is unclear.

leo: many important parts of your chart are activated at this time but your main focus is likely to be on a tug of war between your public and private lives. they make conflicting demands. perhaps a spouse or partner is involved. you will have to decide for yourself. let no one else choose your way.

virgo: mercury in taurus is tough for many due to it's thoughtful and plodding nature. for you, it is more cerebral and philosophical, which can suit you nicely. still, it would be a mistake to attempt to rush anything in money, communications, technology, etc.

libra: this full moon should be great for you financially. it may be in obvious ways like getting literally extra money, or it may be more subtle, like learning a crucial fact about how credit scores work.

scorpio: mercury enters your 7th house this week, spicing up (or just increasing) communications in committed partnerships and meanwhile, a full moon in your sign also occurs along your 1st-7th house axis. your connections to other people bring about profound regeneration in yourself.

sagittarius: in your daily life, like literally every day, it's good to be writing this week (and next.) that can be for work or a hobby, it can be public or private or in a journal, but have a pen in your hand or your fingers on a keyboard as much as you can. talking to the people around you is also wise, and it's a great time to get a pet if you can!

capricorn: regardless of how much work you may have to do, carve out time to socialize this week with friends or go on a date or even just take your dog for some extra walks. be outside with other souls, communing with them.

aquarius: a flurry of uranian activity is where you are at home anyway, but with additional taurus influence, it can feel strangely sticky or even like quicksand. you can struggle against it if you wish but it may be easier and more fun to relax and see what miraculous way you are guided to safety (or simple comfort... you're probably not in actual danger.)

pisces: this week's full moon is good for you to have deep thought and perhaps travel far, if you wish/can. at minimum, let your mind and spirit do the traveling. meanwhile in your local community, if you are staying, a kind deed or a little volunteering are auspicious at this time.

watch the transit posts in real time to have the best guide through your week. want a little more? have a look at my patreon or ko-fi.

check out my etsy for a private reading or fill out this form to set up a reading through venmo, cashapp, or paypal.

[hopeymchope]

How well do you think Class 78 would handle being recruited into defending Last Defense Academy?

Fun mental exercise. Thanks for the suggestion!

(THIS ANSWER CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR DANGANRONPA 1, BUT NO SPOILERS FOR THE HUNDRED LINE BEYOND THE DEMO)

Makoto Naegi — He wants to believe that he's been recruited for something important, but everything about this is too weird and too fishy. But then he takes basically the same route to get there as Takumi does; when Sirei says that the invaders will go through this school and then destroy their homes, killing all of humanity in the process? That's when he feels like he can't afford to sit back. Because if there's even a chance his family is in danger, he has to fight for them.

Aoi Asahina — Jumps in with both feet on fighting the invaders. She's always been trusting and figures that even if the "last defense for humanity" thing doesn't pan out, then at least she's fighting to protect the rest of her classmates if nothing else.

Sakura Ogami — Has more doubts than Hina but ultimately would rather back Hina up and try to keep her safe, so she buys in and fights for that reason. Still... she's often asking Sirei tough questions and prodding at the edges of the academy, trying to understand what's going on.

Leon Kuwata — Retains healthy skepticism about this whole thing. Extremely hesitant to lay down his life for a cause he doesn't fully understand. Stories like Ultra Despair Hagakure and Danganronpa S have taught us that Leon really tries to approach things rationally. I think that desire for rationality and his overwhelming drive for self-preservation are going to keep him off the battlefield. And unfortunately, he's not going to be doing much good on the inside either. He doesn't have a clue how to investigate the place or have many talents that can serve the team; he's just kind of hanging out.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru — It never takes much to get him to listen to any supposed authority figure. Remember the way he caved in to Monokuma's morning exercises and even started calling him "headmaster"? If someone tells Taka that he has a responsibility to fight and possibly die to protect this place, he's going to do it; "responsibility" is his middle name.

Sayaka Maizono — After an initial freakout where she refuses to fight and just wants to get the hell out, eventually comes to the conclusion that she's probably done harder shit to gain/retain her fame than this, so she caves and fights. After all, if anyone's watching, she's going to need to step up in order to retain her positive standing among the public.

Byakuya Togami — Togami finds it extremely logical that he would be among those asked to be the "last defense for humanity" given his elite status, but he's still HIGHLY doubtful of the whole endeavor. He's not doing it. He will instead be researching the school and trying to figure out what's really going on here.

Kyoko Kirigiri — And speaking of researching the school... Kyoko disappears for extended periods of time while she goes off to investigate the truth behind the entire scenario. How did they actually get transported here, what the hell is Sirei, who are the "higher-ups" giving him orders, what is the true nature of these invaders and the bizarre "hemoanima" powers, etc? It'll be a while before she'll even consider joining any combat; she's VERY busy.

Mondo Owada — Mondo is quick to anger and violence, plus he feels a lot of responsbility to not only the Crazy Diamonds but ALL bikers across Japan. Sure, he's going to start out with threatening Sirei, but won't take much to make him pissed enough at the invaders to finally activate his hemoanima and get out there in the name of defending his homies. And besides, if his "bro" is doing it... he'd better be out there for Taka, too.

Chihiro Fujisaki — Like Hiruko Shizuhara, quickly dives into the computers and records found within the academy. As such, winds up playing a behind-the-scenes support role in the combat rather than actually going out and using a hemoanima. Sees themselves as too "weak" to contribute much in front-line combat anyway.

Hifumi Yamada — As much as he loves the shōnen protagonist vibes of becoming a super-powered anti-alien warrior, Hifumi's not really the kind of person to put himself in that sort of danger. .... At least not until they all learn about the fact that they can be resurrected by the academy's technology if anything happens. And at that point he's like "Well is it really any worse or harder than me staying awake for five days and nights in a row to finish one of my doujhinshis?" So he gives it a shot, hoping this is his chance to be a shōnen hero! Unfortunately, he will soon learn YES, it IS much worse/harder to physically fucking die than he expects. After one experience with that, it's going to be hard to get him back out there again....

Yasuhiro Hagakure — Of course he's not doing this. Come on. He's going to be busy freaking out for a good while, too.

Celestia Ludenberg — And speaking of characters who are absolutely, positively NOT going to be fighting... she might prove useful a few times by providing deceptive strategies to employ against the invaders, but she's not going to be doing anything out there herself.

Toko Fukawa and/or Genocide(r) Syo/Jack — Toko certainly isn't going to want to get out there and is going to be pretty shaken/angered by their forced recruitment, but I think she's eventually going to be overruled by her other half's bloodlust.

Mukuro Ikusaba — Lives for this shit, ofc. First in line to stab herself with a blade to unlock her hemoanima and go to town on invaders.

Junko Enoshima — This one is COMPLICATED. On the one hand, she was probably in the midst of planning her OWN death-dealing despair scenario ala DR1 or UTDP, so now she's of irritated that she got interrupted by someone else's weirdly similar scenario. On the OTHER hand, isn't it delightfully despair-inducing to have her own plans interrupted and pre-emptively ruined like this?? But then, what does she do within the scenario itself? It's certainly not in her nature to go out on the battlefield and fight. But it would probably be incredibly despairful to have to experience a violent death REPEATEDLY at the hands of bizarre, gigantic monsters. But also, wouldn't it be amazing to see the entire world destroyed and see everyone's despair as all their loved ones are slaughtered??? So maybe she shouldn't fight at all and try to ensure the others also fail. But wait; wouldn't it be more satisfying a form of despair if she DID fight the invaders with all she had and ultimately still failed to prevent it when they prove they are stronger than she is??? Then she could not only watch the despair of her classmates, but also experience the despair of her own failure! In the end I think she's going to play both sides a bit by totally supporting Mukuro and telling her to give her all against the invaders, but then she simultaneously will play the role of the fashionista who doesn't want to fight, keeping her own analytical skills out of the equation while she watches the slaughter from inside the academy. And her Ultimate Analyst skills are going to help her to ascertain the whole truth behind what's going on well before anyone else can. Knowing those dark truths first and then not telling anyone, not even her own sister, about what's actually behind all this... having to carry that knowledge alone... how despairful. And how delightful it will be when the rest of her classmates must face the despair-inducing truth...

[vivicas-dollhouse]

CREEPYPASTA SLEEPOVER HEADCANNONS!!

Moms not home tonight, we can roll around have a pillow fight

Genre: headcannons

Pastas featured: ticci toby, jeff the killer, eyeless jack, masky, hoodie, ben drowned, sally williams, kate the chaser, clockwork, jane the killer, nina the killer, lulu, bloody painter, homicidal liu

Desc: just how i think some of the pastas would act at a sleepover :)

Cw: talk of drugs and alcohol

2.5k words, enjoy!!

Toby

-HORRIBLE at sleepovers. HORRIBLY ANNOYING.

-he will bring his console and try to get everyone to agree to a mariokart tournament

-he brings snacks, and hes got everything. cookies? yep. chips? you bet! soda? yes but only pepsi cherry.

-the only thing he forgot was a blanket and pajamas and literally everything else except games and food

-bro went and forgot a damn blanket

-he will talk all night if you let him. mainly about weird shit he learned recently that creeps you out

-he will be fine to keep partying at 5 am. my brother in christ is FIGHTING to keep everyone awake

-he will insist that he sleeps in just his boxers, he says its too hot

-”you ex-expect me t-to boil alive?”

-sleeps at 10am and wont wake up until you either shake him awake or 5pm rolls around

-sleeps like a tank, when hes out hes OUT

-mouthbreather, bro is practically eating the bugs

-he want nachos or he will throw a hissy fit about how they are “more for less”

Jeff

-he brings weed. No questions asked. Whats a party without some drugs?

-he also brings cigarettes cause bro is collecting addictions like pokemon

-orders pizza for him and himself only, the group can order whatever they want

-brings a body pillow and wraps his legs around it to sleep. The group bullies him for this.

-”god forbid a man get comfortable..”

-sleeps in gym shorts and a wife beater tank top

-he will smoke so much weed that he is staring at the wall for hours

-he falls asleep around 5am, wakes up at 11 the next morning feeling like he got hit by a bus

-he talks in his sleep, just loud enough to freak the others out cause its all genuinely creepy (like the pasta……)

-”youre not…… getting…. home….” WHAT THE FUCK

-before he sleeps he has to have a full glass of water cause his mouth gets “painfully dry” and its his only form of hydration

-brings a knife because why not? He never feels safe without it

Jack

-hes always fun to have around, hes quiet but funny and always has fun facts

-he brings kidneys to eat because he really doesn't like human food. Only problem is that it REEKS

-he has fuzzy pajama pants, a tshirt and slippers. He is ALWAYS cold so he has to bundle up with a blanket

-insists that they play minecraft or super smash bros, and hes ass at both

-”cmon, you cant button mash, actually play,”

-he sleeps pretty early, around midnight. He is the victim of many pranks because of this

-sleeps super heavy, wont wake up until you shake him for at least a minute

-purrs in his sleep

-brings extra toiletries, you never know if someone might've forgotten toothpaste

-might read before bed, he needs to have a wind down activity

-he likes watching true crime movies/documentaries and will pick out the most gore filled one cause they make him hungry

-puts on nu metal and ignores the protests of the others to turn it off

-brings headphones in case he gets overwhelmed, he doesn't usually get like that but hed rather be safe than sorry

Ben

-you already KNOW hes here to PARTY

-doesnt need drugs to act crazy, he just needs sugar and guess what! He brought candy! Lots of it too

-he brings any console or handheld game consoles he can reasonably set up, with multiple controllers for each. His bag is HUGE

-he sleeps in a tshirt and booty shorts, but he owns it

-”cmon, you cant see this total dumpy ive got? I got the shorts for a reason,”

-keeps the party going until the late morning, he will not sleep until 2pm

-wants the greasiest food possible, im talking jack in the box all day breakfasts level of greasy

-plays nightcore music, which he gets bullied for but its lowkey fire

-he forgot a blanket and will be fine with just sleeping on the floor, he doesn't plan on sleeping much anyways

-he wants to watch shitty comedies, if given the opportunity to put on monty python and the holy grail he will

-or he will put on john mulaney specials, everyone loves john mulaney

-when he DOES sleep, he snores SO FUCKING LOUD that it keeps everyone awake

-will ask to play spin the bottle bc he is an actual fiend for awkwardness he can bully people about (and kissing dudes)

Sally

-ah yes, our bestest girl

-she brings stuffed animals, a blanket and a princess sleeping bag

-she is still young, so she isnt really allowed to hang around the other pastas sleepovers

-plus she hates sleeping around men so it can only be a sleepover with all girls and no drugs/crackhead behavior

-she plays minecraft all night

-she will ask to put on a disney princess movie and will fall asleep to that

-”can mr teddy come watch frozen with us?”

-her bedtime is at 10pm, but she will fight to stay awake until 11pm

Masky

-oh boy.

-he doesn't like sleepovers, he doesn't want to go to sleepovers, and will only be there as a trip sitter or a chaperone of sorts

-he will smoke a little weed but is mostly content with a pack of cigarettes and a beer

-just turns on a random sport of a random team to nod off to, hes not the type to stay up unless theres a job he needs to complete

-”can yall be quiet, im tryin to watch the… the uhhh…. the mets and the… the other team,”

-sleeps shirtless with gym shorts, maybe sometimes he will wear a tank top but only if hes asked to

-wants to eat a burger, just any burger with bacon. He doesn't even need a fry, just a coke and a burger with bacon.

-falls asleep on the couch, he doesn't care what anyone else is doing, as long as no ones dying and they leave him alone

-he makes everyone feel like they are being parented, and even he hates it. He is above watching these dumbasses

-he might play a game, but thats a low chance

-plays 90s grunge music, he cant help it, its so good

-he snores quietly, unlike SOME GHOST HE KNOWS.

Hoodie

-brings so much weed. So much.

-he brings a duplicate hoodie of the one he shows up in, the famous yellow one

-he mainly smokes and plays on his phone, he might even put on a baby sensory video once everyone is high

-he puts on youtube deep dives on whatever he finds interesting, usually some internet drama

-”...and he made him cut up the medallion and i shit you not they nearly got him to put it up his ass,”

-brings everything you could ever want when you have the munchies, chips, dip, soda, candy, and some hot pockets

-brings headphones to listen to rain sounds while he sleeps

-he mutters absolute nonsense while asleep

-he sleeps around 3am and is a fairly light sleeper.. thats why he brought headphones

-wants to sleep in the bed, he doesn't care if someone is already in it, they can share!

-sleeps in a tank top and pajama pants, the pants usually get kicked off in the middle of the night though

-he moves a lot in his sleep, he sometimes sleepwalks but not often

Kate

-shes rarely invited, but shes glad to go

-she is very nocturnal, she will be up all night eating snacks she's squirreled away in her bag

-she wants sushi, but understands if its out of budget. She has enough pickles to make it through the night.

-she sleeps in a hoodie and sweatpants, hood up and curled in a ball

-she brings an actual sleeping bag, she doesn't want to sleep on JUST the floor.

-she brings so many snacks, but forgets any toiletries and a pillow

-”you want a pickle? I have so many, sweet, dill, spicy.. or do you want something else? I have a lot of stuff,”

-she wants to play twister so bad, but shes scared to ask

-shes shy, but as the night goes on she opens up

-she is fun to be around once the drinks start flowing, shes very bubbly and silly while drunk

-she doesn't know how to play video games, but shes happy to watch

-wants to watch notoriously shitty movies to make fun of

-she sleeps with headphones on playing emo music

-she finally sleeps around 5am, and shes OUT until at least noon

Nina

-oh jesus where to start..

-she will be black out drunk by the end of the night. She even brought the drinks to make sure

-she might be underage but there are bigger issues with her being drunk

-shes a crier, she gets messy drunk and gets into fights

-”you called me a slut, ill *hic* ill make you a dead b- *sniffle* bitch, you dont call.. you dont call ME a slut, it *sniff* it was only 3 times,”

-sleeps in a tight cropped tank top and hello kitty pajama pants

-she will watch shitty romcoms and cry the whole time

-she will try to kiss anyone and everyone, shes sad AND flirty at the same time

-she will reveal her darkest secrets if you prod her

-she doesn't want food, eating makes you fat and she will let everyone know that while they eat

-she pregamed the fucking sleepover, tell me you have a problem without telling me you have a problem

-she sleeps as soon as she finishes all her frozen margaritas, but theres enough of them that youd think shes got alcohol poisoning

Jane

-shes not the type to go to sleepovers, but if she WAS she would be a babysitter to the others

-she will not go to a sleepover with any men. She doesn't trust them at all

-she doesn't drink or smoke so shes stuck watching people to make sure no one kills each other

-she will turn on the office and just watch it like nothing else is happening

-asks to get kfc, shes a sucker for some fried chicken

-she sleeps in a oversized shirt and shorts, she gets hot easy

-”are you all going to eat the drumsticks or can i have them.. nina why are you crying now?”

-she sleeps only after her 8 step skin care and having a glass of water, she cannot sleep thirsty

-shes fine with sleeping on the couch or armchair, anything but the floor

-wears noise canceling headphones to bed, she sleeps so lightly that its nearly impossible to sleep without them

-she sleeps pretty early, around midnight or so

Clockwork

-theres no fucking way she's getting out of this without a wicked headache in the morning

-she gets nervous sleeping around other people so she smokes weed to feel better

-like a lot of weed

-she gets all giggly when high, she genuinely has a great time

-she craves cheese ramen so bad that she will go out of her way to make some in the kitchen at fucking 4am

-she is also practically nocturnal, she will wake up at 5pm and sleep at 6am

-she snores so loudly and mouth breaths, she sounds like a fucking tank

-”please bro drive me to the store i need more cheese, we only have kraft singles that shit is nasty”

-she watches funny tiktok complations and laughs her ass off all night

-do not mention how silly she was when she wakes up. Shes not silly or goofy, she is a tough, stoic woman (eyeroll)

-she sleeps in a tank top and short shorts, and brings a pillow and light blanket only

Lulu

-is honored to be included in a sleepover, she never usually gets included

-she brings snacks, various medications, toothpaste and tooth brushes, lotion, shampoo and conditioner, a comb, floss, two pillows, drinks….

-basically she overpacks

-she sleeps in a nightgown, and she has sock slippers that she wears while sleeping

-she doesn't drink or smoke, and shes fairly overwhelmed by everything thats happening

-”oh, um, i was wondering when its bed time?”

-she finds a quiet corner, brings her stuff and reads until she falls asleep around 11pm

-she wants to make people happy so she says she's enjoying herself but she is miserable

-she was under the impression that she would be able to shower, and is confused on why no one is

-she eats a sandwich she packed because she has a mild nut allergy and didnt want to risk any food they get causing an allergic reaction

-she really wanted to have fun, but parties are not her thing

Helen

-just a constant downer, he brings the mood down SO fast

-”did you know that you swallow 8 spiders in your sleep a year and that there is actually horse meat in that mcdonalds your eating” BRO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

-just sits in a corner and draws, he didnt want to come in the first place

-doesn't want anything youd normally have at a sleepover, he wants a salad or at MINIMUM a sandwich or soup

-he brings an actual air mattress, he is above sleeping on the ground (and it hurts his back)

-he doesn't want to play any games, talk smack about anything, or do anything you'd normally do

-yet he stays up all night, creepily watching people sleep and drawing them

-only goes to bed when the sun's starting to rise, but he will be up again at 10am

-wears his normal clothes to sleep, he doesn't NEED pajamas and his day clothes work the same as pjs

-leaves as soon as possible

Liu

-he is… he is not happy.

-he didnt want to come, he knew he wouldn't have fun, yet he was talked into coming.

-he isnt a fan of everyone shouting and playing loud music and using drugs, he just wanted to have a relaxing evening with friends

-he sleeps in a sweater and shorts, and he brings a change of clothes for the morning

-he just watches lets plays on his phone while hiding somewhere thats quiet and no one can find him

-he ends up not falling asleep at all, despite trying REALLY HARD to

-”god damn i actually WANT to ‘go to sleep’ now,”

-he comes out of his hiding spot briefly to eat whatever they ordered and instantly goes back to hide

-hes got a blanket and pillows, and he is cozy in his corner, and thats the best he can do

-he is pissy when he does interact with the others, he just doesn't get why people like to party at all

-he puts on some goth music in between lets plays and texts helen about how miserable he is and eventually goes to sit by him for a bit, and they sit quietly

[rainbowolfe]

Working on a totally normal deep analysis of the daycare attendant and. Noticing how Moon is villainized by the game and therefore the fandom even though the one causing harm every step of the way is Sun.

Because gameplay-wise, only Moon can jumpscare us in SB. Which causes it to read Moon as a danger, while Sun is not.

But Sun quite literally calls for the Glamrocks to come jump Gregory. He's also most definitely corralling Gregory before that moment. He's offering lots of fun activities, but he has no intention of doing any of them. Since, how can they do anything if Gregory isn't allowed to leave that spot?

It's actually really odd that Sun resists turning into Moon, but Moon doesn't resist turning into Sun. The general/popular consensus is that Sun resists the transformation because Moon intends to do harm. But if thats the case, why doesn't Moon want to do harm as much as Sun wants to stop him?

The moral of Bobbiedots (and Bobbiedots part 2) is that the true threat is what appears nice and friendly and new. This could loosely be applied to the Glamrocks. But it can also be applied to Sun and Moon.

Sun doesn't look new, because he shares a body with Moon. But Sun is new. Because Sun's in the VANNI system, and Moon isn't. In fact, Sun likely never had a physical body. He's something added on to Moon. Notice how Moon feels pain, but Sun is unaffected throughout that whole exchange in Ruin.

Moon is the one who's broken and deeply traumatized. Therefore, based on what Bobbiedots presents us with, Moon is the one who's trying to help us. Moon is the one that looks scary, but isn't the real threat. He can be a threat because of an ingrained trauma response, but he's never acting with malice.

My son never had sleeping problems. But after spending an evening in the daycare, he refuses to sleep with the lights out anymore! He just cries and cries. And then when I do let him keep the lights on, he wets the bed!

This message was mostly taken as evidence that Moon is evil/the problem/infected with the virus. But if you read between the lines, what this kid is truly afraid of is Sun. The bed wetting is a significantly more severe reaction than the crying.

It's entirely possible that the crying isn't even the result of Moon's presence/associating him with the dark. (Especially since, would there even be a nap-time for an evening session at the pizzaplex?) Theres only one rule, and its to keep the lights on. And the daycare regularly and randomly experiences blackouts.

Which is exactly what happened when Gregory grabbed that security pass. There's just. No way that little freddy capsule doubles as a kill switch for the power. Why would it?

Sun (and Freddy) assume it's something Gregory did. And Sun sentences him to a fucking execution.

[starkspondwater]

Since prom season is here can I get headcannons for the main 4 😁

At my second job there have been couples taking prom pictures every weekend for the past month, so prom is on the mind! I did kind of turn this into a bit of a drabble so I hope that's alright!!

Main 4 Prom HC's

💙Stan💙

💙Man is a romantic at heart, just fumbles the opportunity a little. If anything it makes things a little more sweet

💙Knows prom is a big deal, and while outwardly to his friends he'll say he's not too interested in it, I know he is lying.

💙Proposal is going to be pretty typical- a nice sign he embarrassingly spent time on with some cheesy pun, flowers, and of course probably a little music (you can pry his love of music from my cold dead hands)

💙I picture him late at night in his room, Kyle on speaker, while he painstakingly tries not to spill glitter all over his rug. His mom already got onto him about how loud he had been practicing his song earlier, and he really didn't want to give her another reason to be pissy.

💙He was aware from the beginning who he wanted to ask, there was no question about that for him. The thing is he continued to beat around the bush each time he attempted to ask. The first attempt he lost track of time and before he knew it you were heading home and he was still dateless. The second one was a bit more embarrassing. He had figured a time and place to ask you, only to come face to face with a strange man in his 30's looking wide-eyed at the boy holding a glittery sign. Stan isn't sure how that even happened or who that was, but he knew he couldn't keep messing up.

💙The entire time he asked he couldn't keep the grin from his face, happy to finally be putting all his hard work to use! The sign was ridiculous and the song was...well it was a song, but that didn't matter. He had missed two opportunities already due to his own stupidity, he wasn't missing a third one!

💙Sharon rented him a tux, a day spent fussing over what would look nice on him. Even as he rolled his eyes, he couldn't deny that this was nice, the time with his mom. He didn't realize all the different styles there were and with each glance he kept trying to picture just what the two of you would look like side by side. By the time they got the deposit paid he knew he should thank his mom- his original choice in tux was...not great.

💙Is down for all the cheesy activities- dinner at Denny's beforehand, gaudy photo op, the group dancing. Will his friends rip on him later? Oh yeah. After years of seeing this experience in media he had been looking forward to it, dammit! Let him have his fun!

💙That first sight of you prettied up (whether in a suit yourself or a dress) he's going to feel that little trickle of nausea. I do not think that will ever go away for him, but he does get better about it over the years. Seeing you? Oh that's a test of his will.

💙Will yap as the two of you sway to the slow ballad playing over the speakers. I think for him those little moments are what he's going to recall the most when he's older- soft words as lights dance around the walls, and the feeling that no one else exists until the music stops playing

💚Kyle💚

💚I feel like prom was not even in the boys radar until there were only weeks left til the big day. One would think Stan freaking out about how to ask his own date and Kenny and Cartman joking about the after parties would've given him a clue, but with finals fast approaching it was in one ear and out the other

💚If he isn't interested in anyone I think it could go 50/50 on whether he'd be okay going stag or not. Like on one hand he'd be fine just hanging out with his friends, but on the other seeing Stan have a date would make him feel left out. He'd probably be strategic on who he's want to ask as a friend at that point

💚If he's got someone in mind then it is very different. He already waited a little too long to get the ball rolling, so he's probably at least a little stressed on what to do. Stan's probably got the most typical proposal suggestions, Kenny just said to streak across their yard (yes, thank you Kenny, that's such a serious suggestion) and Cartman? Well he's not giving the ginger any advice.

💚I think he would end up outright asking you. Nothing fancy, nothing particularly elaborate, just a simple question. He had an idea of what he wanted to do but the worry that he would mess it up coupled with the anxiety of possibly being told no just...made him blurt it out. Red cheeks and all. It was kind of cute to see the tips of his ears go pink as the words stumbled out of him!

💚Sheila is buying that boy a tux. Yes it would save money to rent it, and Gerald will argue that, but in her eyes every man should have something nice in his closet- and her lanky boy had already outgrown his Bar Mitzvah suit. She's got an eye for detail and basically forced him to get the color of your outfit so she could coordinate his tie and boutonniere

💚Pictures, pictures, and more pictures. Doesn't matter that there's a professional photo op at the venue, Sheila will keep you both for way longer than needed to get the pictures she wants. She's posing you, wanting ones of just you, then just him. Yes, somehow Ike is in there and Kyle is whining because we have to go, Mom!

💚Somehow says the sweetest compliments. I don't know why but I feel like he would notice and compliment the little details most guys would overlook- how your earrings match the beading on the dress, the way you pinned up your hair, or how all the slight variations of colors of your ensemble went together. It might not be a usual compliment from a prom date, but it's so sincere you can't help but truly appreciate it

💚I'm in the "Kyle has no rhythm" hc club. You cannot drag that boy out to the dance floor, not for love nor money. He thought about at least joining the little line dance that was going on, but he recalled 7th grade gym class when they were forced into a week of dance. Yeah...he was fine just watching you have fun, large smile and all. At least until the first slow song begins, that's when he finds himself gravitating towards the outskirts of the crowd, your hand in his

💚Is just going to sway, and it's only barely in tandem with the song playing. He avoided actually getting on the dance floor all night, not wanting to embarrass himself, but this was one thing he couldn't miss. He would be stiff at first, unsure of himself, before relaxing into it. By the end you actually had to remind him the song had changed because he just kept swaying, too caught up in how nice dancing with you could feel.

🧡Kenny🧡

🧡Kenny's been working on his prom stuff for a while- tuxes ain't cheap and he'll be damned if he doesn't look at least a little good. Busting his ass at work paid off though, and with a small donation from Sharon he was able to rent a tux along with Stan!

🧡I just have this feeling in my bones that he would've been the first of the m4 to obtain a date. Like he knew who he wanted and went right for it.

🧡Kenny's promposal is not as flashy as Stan's, but he's making use of what he's got and that's what matters. He loves surprises and that's just what you would get. He positioned the old car he had fixed up near your house, hood propped open with him standing in front. He looked downright pensive, and you knew it just HAD the be the engine; He'd been complaining about the thing for weeks. You stepped outside and hustled over, ready to help if needed only to find that along the engine and other parts under the hood were 5 pieces of paper, spelling out the word "prom?" in his familiar messy scrawl. You were pretty sure he had even doodled you and him along the margins!

🧡Kenny's not flashy, and he didn't want to be, but he also knew that life hit oneself pretty quickly and this sort of experience was something to look back on. Why not go all out? That was his motto when it came to a lot of those high school experiences, knowing how shitty things could get once adulthood hit head on

🧡He forgot the corsage, and he doesn't have a boutonniere, but he did bring a few flowers he picked up along the way to yours. He's not shy by nature, his friends making sure of that over the years, but handing over those few stems had him feeling warm under the collar. He might forget a few things, but that doesn't mean he forgot about you.

🧡Has no problem stating how good you look. If he's not saying it with his mouth he is saying it with his eyes- but he's not leering. The jokingly pervy looks he may shoot your way normally have been replaced with something much more endearing and gentle, like he cannot believe that he gets to be here with you. To him you might as well be a million bucks because he felt very rich that evening.

🧡Is going to dance the majority of the time and pull you and anyone else into the mix. Much like Kyle he does not have the best rhythm but he can keep a beat and bring a certain energy that made others want to join in. He's having a ball, and for someone who always seems to have something underlying that stresses him constantly, it's a wonderful sight to see.

🧡Slow dancing is where he has a lot of fun. He has no qualms about being close, not even pretending to hear Mackey's call for "leave room for Jesus!" and bringing you right to his chest. He's going to have a bit more movement, spinning you around from time to time and will attempt a dip only to be met with giggles.

🧡On the way home he's going to pull over that old car of his just to repeat the experience, his radio playing light tunes as you spin around under a streetlight.

❤️Cartman❤️

❤️Cartman had two modes to me. The absolutely most ridiculous shirts covered in memes and other things that could be cringe, and somehow the most stylish outfits out of his friends. He does both and it gives so much whiplash

❤️He had been planning on prom long before he even considered having a date to it. He knew the color he wanted to wear, he knew how he wanted his hair, the vibe, all of it. He has a VISION

❤️Liane handed over the money for whatever he needed. In the years since the hot dog she had pinched her purse strings quite a bit to hopefully teach Eric a lesson, but with prom she just wanted him to have the best time. I do think she gives some really good opinions that he takes into account-his momma does know a few things!

❤️Was going to just ask some broad to go with him (or possibly coerce her) but then you were in the picture and that idea went out the window. In his mind he was going to play it cool, maybe just appear at your locker looking suave before suggesting you two kick it at prom.

❤️He was sweating like a damn pig. You had been with friends and for the love of God his feet would not bring him over. He had no problem talking and being a little shit to you before and yet right now he felt like he was turning into season 1 Stan Marsh. Then, you killed him. Strutting over with friends watching behind you, YOU asked HIM to prom, and all he could do was dumbly nod before rushing off. It took a few days for things to sink in but eventually he did let it get to his head. It was infuriating to his group of friends.

❤️Does try to gently (not really) inform you of the colors you should go for with dresses/suits, not just because it would match his rather fancy tux, but also because he knew how colors worked and in no world was he going to have you look bad, especially standing next to him.

❤️That confidence of his wavers once more once he gets a look at you. The entire time his mother is posing the two of you for pictures and fawning over how precious you both look, he is just trying not to stare. He knew you'd look good, maybe not as good as him, but now he felt like eating those words.

❤️Like Kenny is going to dance, but he's actually weirdly good at it. All those years dancing in his room to pop songs kind of paid off for this one night. Where people normally tried to ignore him, he drew attention to himself and it was actually good!

❤️Slow dancing is where he shined. He's not doing that "his hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders" schtick, he's going to do this correctly. Grabbing your right hand in his you felt him pull you close with the left, your other hand coming to his bicep. While others swayed side to side he led you into some simple steps that soon you didn't even have to think about. It was...romantic coming from the loud boy, and to be honest it was a nice light to see finally see him in.

❤️If anyone ever mentioned how soft he seemed during those few slow dances played, he'd deny it. But you knew and that was just fine

[numberonetacostan]

System paper ❤️

I'm a firm believer in system paper (and system taco, but that's an ask for another day)

So, care to share some system paper headcannons??

Finding memes is fun to (idk I just found this in my camera roll)

Hi Frankie!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in your request!! :]

There is a list of banned media in Hotel OJ. Not for a nefarious or controlling purpose, but because the pieces of media have some sort of harmful representation of DID in them, and not only does Paper (+ Yin-Yang for that matter) not want those ideas shown or getting spread around, but because OJ, being in charge of the hotel, doesn't want that shit in his hotel. Good boyfriend activities!!

I like to think that, earlier on, Knife's presence/proximity can be a trigger for EP/Looseleaf to start fronting. With what happened in episode 2, it makes sense that Knife would remain a perceived threat, yeah? In instances like s1 ep14 in which Paper feels more in control of the situation, it may not trigger EP, but if there isn't that sense of control they'll front when Knife gets close, more often then not. This would improve with time/distance, but EP will continue hating Knife as Paper continues disliking him.

I like to think that part of the reason that Paper brought up OJ's self-centred tendencies in the s2 finale was thanks to EP. Not in the sense that they're inciting conflict of course, but in the sense that they're sick of seeing Paper getting upset because of said tendencies, and if Paper doesn't talk to OJ about how it makes him feel already, then they're going to do it for him. It's an issue Paper's been silently tolerating for a while now, yeah? He's mild-mannered about it since he doesn't want conflict, but EP has no such qualms.

Hm. Paper buys some chewelry (wearable item that can be chewed on for stimming) for EP in hopes that they will maybe bite a few less people when they're fronting. It doesn't really work, but Paper himself starts using it and biting on it, and EP is very pleased. They have a long discussion on the joys of biting things in the headspace, it's a nice talk :).

I like to think EP has a particular fondness for Pickle. Yes, they did brutalize him that one time, but I think they'd like having been called 'Looseleaf' by him. I think they'd like the name a lot and end up using it for themself rather than just being called Evil Paper. Once they decide on it, they're very strict about enforcing the use of their new name.

[inspired-lesson-plans]

ELA, grades 5-10, Percy Jackson / Greek Mythology unit

Quiz:

Phase 1

Imagine that you must do a 4-person group project that requires researching a topic, making a poster/slideshow, and doing a presentation.

Choose one classmate (or Tumblr mutual) and two of the twelve Olympians to form a group with. Mark your choices on the attached Google Doc. You must also include a rationale for why you chose to include your two picks and why you chose to exclude each of the other options.

Phase 2

Teacher assigns each student's chosen partner* (or Tumblr mutual) to respond to their rationales by adopting the persona of each of the Olympians. Not every god needs to respond to every rationale, but every god does need to leave at least one comment.

Notes for teachers:

The provided doc includes the names for all Olympians plus Hades, but you may choose to leave it blank and have students fill them in on their own as part of the assessment.

Hades has been intentionally included among the list of Olympians as a trap. Deduct points for any of the following:

• choosing to include Hades as a group member

• failing to address Hades's status as a non-Olympian in their rationale

• failing to address/mock Hades's status as a non-Olympian when writing in the persona of at least one Olympian

Other than that, reward students for having the foresight to carefully word their rationales so as not to offend anyone, because we mortals can never be sure that the gods are not in a capricious mood on any particular day.

*This might get complicated, so you may choose to simply randomize student selections for this part of the quiz.

[crescentfool]

reunion 🌸