#but they're presented as not replacements but new orders

[isfjmel-phleg]

😶

[front-facing-pokemon]

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Iron Valiant with trainer Darling Concept?

It's a bit difficult as there isn't any PokeDex entry I can go off of. So this is speculation on my part. Sorry for image quality, it's a close up of a Pokemon card... couldn't find good official art.

Overprotective! Iron Valiant with Trainer! Darling

(FT. Gardevoir or Gallade)

Pairing: Platonic (With Rivalry Elements)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Violence, Implied murder, Blood, Clingy behavior, Forced/Dubious companionship.

Iron Valiant is a Future Paradox Pokemon that appears to have combined features of a Gardevoir and Gallade.

They are robots that we can assume were meant to act as guardians for humanity in the future.

Perhaps you caught this Pokemon once it was sent to the present?

Or... since they are a robot... you helped fix them up?

Granted, any major injury/damage can't be fixed perfectly... but you try your best.

I like to imagine Pokemon Violet's Paradox Pokemon are more robot than Pokemon.

Which means, When you fix the robot they register you as their new master.

Pokeball or not, this Iron Valiant follows you around like a maid or butler.

Technically they're both.

Imagine if you already had a Gardevoir or Gallade in your care?

They'd be so confused about their robotic counterpart.

Even more so if your new Iron Valiant tried to replace them.

Y'know what, to prevent all these Overprotective Pokemon concepts from feeling the same... you have either a Gardevoir or Gallade as your Pokemon partner.

Imagine if your Iron Valiant saw your original Pokemon partner as inferior.

They are far superior, a combination of the best parts of the evolutionary line.

Why do you still care for these... biological creatures?

Your Gardevoir/Gallade often gives you concerned looked, seeing how the glowing pink eyes of the robot scan them up and down.

You can try to make them get along... but your Iron Valiant is often the problem.

You can order them... but there's always tension between them and your original Pokemon partner.

Your robotic partner always judges your partner, glaring at them with glowing pink irises.

For the most part, they're behaved.

Although... your current Pokemon partner probably won't stick around for too long.

What I mean by that is... You Iron Valiant may just get rid of your Gardevoir/Gallade.

After all, why do you need them?

Unlike robots... they can die.

With a robot partner you'll always be safe.

So... that means your current partners are inferior...

Which means your Iron Valiant will exterminate them for you.

Imagine waking up one day and all your partners are gone.

You're looking everywhere... but they're just gone.

However, when you call for your Iron Valiant... they respond.

With an excited beep or two, the run up to you with a happy gaze...

Covered in blood.

You stay silent... staring...

They don't seem to care.

If you try to run, they'll follow.

You can't escape them... you're trapped...

After all, they're superior!

Their master only deserves the best.

[imreadydollparts]

Q&A stuff here

(If you have any other questions, let me know.)

How dirty of a doll or pony can I send?

Inside and out, these are both fine to come to the salon.

I may decline a pony or doll if they're dirtied with bodily fluids of any kind. I will be more than happy to talk you through the cleaning process so you can take care of that yourself.

However, if you are distraught and can't handle it, we can talk. I absolutely need a warning.

What happens if you damage a pony/doll someone sent?

I fix it.

For example, I got some 40Vol on a customer's Confetti's yellow hair and it bleached out the yellow color. I told the customer what had happened and did a partial rehair with vintage hair of the same color from my MLP G1 tail stash. That way the owner is informed and the pony is still full vintage.

Another example is that I was resetting the pose on a Flutterbye, and her feet turned white where they'd sat in a little boiling hot water (I didn't take a picture). I blasted them with a heat gun for a while and they're good as new.

And another was a Birthday Pony who's ribbons had been tied in knots and were weak. I snapped one when I went to recurl it, informed the owner, and they were amenable to replacement of all of the ribbons.

Repair is often risky. If I do damage that I can't fix, I will pay the going price for one of the same quality on eBay or order it for you and give it the salon process for free.

What hair do you use?

I use high-grade, silky smooth nylon mostly ordered from Shimmer Locks for full rehairs.

For partial rehairs like replacing a few plugs here and there or a forelock that was cut, I use vintage hair as long as I have it available in my stash of tails or can harvest enough from the pony's own tail without making the tail too thin. I do offer full tail replacements if I happen to have a replacement tail.

Can I request a hair style?

Absolutely! I can't guarantee that I'll be able to do the style you're wanting, but I'll certainly try. I can attempt a few different kinds of curls and have both a standard size and mini crimper.

You can also let me know if you want every pony's mane to be on the same side of their head. I'm not very consistent with that otherwise.

Why do you charge so much more for deflocking?

I hate doing it.

What paints do you use?

Right now I'm using Army Painter acrylic paints. I was using Liquitex before and found it difficult to get just the right consistency, whereas Army Painter has been easier for me to manipulate.

Why is your hair styling/photography/etc. so inconsistent?

I am not a professional anything and have a poor memory.

My photography is also inconsistent because I use my phone and every time I take my phone on or off of the cheap ringlight-phone-tripod the tripod moves.

The way I style a certain pony's hair will change between ponies because I don't remember how I styled it before and if I've had to flat iron it, I may not remember that it had been curly.

One of the great things about this being a hobby as opposed to a business is that I don't have to spend a lot of time on the parts that aren't fun (for me photography isn't fun), and don't have to be consistent. I just have to enjoy what I'm doing. If I can help out other people and get a little money so that I can keep doing what I do enjoy, that's a bonus.

Do you always ---

deflock So Soft Ponies?

No. I only do that when asked because I hate doing it. I will also deflock a pony I bought to clean and sell if the flocking is bad enough, but if the flocking is decent I don't ruin it.

straighten doll/pony hair?

No. I will do my best to preserve factory curl if it's present and the hair is in good enough condition it doesn't need flat ironed, but can't guarantee I will succeed...

How aggressively I treat hair depends entirely on the hair itself.

[autistichalsin]

I wonder if you have thoughts on like.... the other members of his grove? and halsin relating to them? bc apart from rath and maybe two more, they all seem very dicky to me 🤔 and ya, halsin said it's been a burden, and being a kind-hearted dude like him leading a bunch of bastards that think so highly of themselves could definitely contribute to the stress. I guess i don't get it? the one at the steps by the bear is like 'hold on give them a chance' @ the bear when we come in but then in the same breath is like 'no step further or i show you my claws' and seems like has to be talked down from being hostile by third druid; then later when we stop the ritual she's like 'we stopped the chanting but that doesn't give you the right to be disrespectful to this place' and some rando other druid went something along the lines of 'you're overstaying your welcome' - im just thinking how horrible halsin's life must have been surrounded by pricks like that 😔

Short version: yeah, everyone but Rath, Nettie, and Apikusis suck lol

Long version: everyone but Rath, Nettie, and Apikusis suck, BUT you can see several who are having doubts about what they're doing, and many of them come back to themselves once Halsin returns.

There were, I think, multiple things going on here:

By his own admission, Halsin wasn't a very strong leader. He never had leadership skills taught or modeled for him before becoming Archdruid, and further, his promotion was under incredibly traumatic circumstances. The survivor guilt, the admiration he had towards the previous Archdruid, likely left him not wanting to fully engage with the role out of fear of replacing him or at least seeming to do so.

The refugee situation was noted to be causing stress at the Grove as supplies were dwindling (I guess we're supposed to forget Goodberry is a spell ANY Druid can do, lol). This would have not only sown resentment against Halsin and the refugees for putting them in this situation, but crucially, it would have given an outsider enemy for the Grove. Cults (like the Shadow Druids) operate at their strongest when they have a threat, or appearance of one, to unite members and potential members under. "We are the only ones who can keep you safe from these outsiders who may be from hell itself, who are using all your supplies and contributing nothing, who are the reason you're being attacked by goblins every other day." And Halsin, as much as I love him, showed poor judgment in going with the goblins at that precise moment, and with little explanation to the others. It shows where his heart and priorities are- always with the Shadow-Cursed Lands first- but that would not be an endearing things for his stressed Druids.

Kagha not only fell in with this cult, but unfortunately, she had a lot of what Halsin was lacking as a leader- she just chose to use this skills for evil. She was persuasive (something Halsin admits he wasn't so good at), she presented herself as being concerned with the group's welfare in a way Halsin wasn't quite able to do (since his heart was elsewhere), and her zealotry seemed preferable to the other Druids in contrast to Halsin's mixed attention.

This cannot be understated: the Grove was deliberately targeted by Ketheric Thorm. He knew from experience that the Grove posed a significant threat, and he ordered his underlings to make contact with the Shadow Druids and send them to the Emerald Grove, to either persuade them to carry out the Rite of Thorns or at least cause so much division that the social bonds collapsed entirely and the Grove was left too divided to be able to accomplish anything. Ketheric and the Shadow Druids were able to find all of the above weaknesses and exploit them effortlessly.

So then it became a game of scapegoating, which is a favored recruitment technique of cults. "We're here because of the Other, and because our leader was too weak to fix the problem before it got this bad. We need a new leader; a leader who cares only for us and isn't afraid to tell the truth about these immigrants refugees who want to destroy America our Grove by leading gangsters and drug lords goblins right to us! Build the Wall Perform the Rite of Thorns!"

No one is immune to propaganda and everyone is a potential target for cults. It very well could be that all of the Druids, even Kagha, were once genuinely kind people who were manipulated by the cult into believing their kindnesses would get the Grove destroyed; they took on the "it's us or them" mentality.

For the timeframe to work, it either would have had to be happening in secret before Halsin left, or Halsin would have had to be gone for a while; since we know it wasn't TOO terribly long but hadn't JUST happened either, my guess is that Kagha had been spreading Shadow Druid doctrine in secret for some time, and had been planning to usurp Halsin's position even if he hadn't been kidnapped. That just made it easier once it happened. (There is a formal process within the Druids to challenge an Archdruid for their position; I don't know if Halsin even would have fought Kagha that hard if she kept her true intentions a secret. He had faith in her at this point after all, and didn't want the leadership position. That's a terrifying thought.)

So, then, Halsin comes back, and sees evil ideas spreading in all his Druids, starting with Kagha. Depending on the player's actions, he may or may not know it goes deeper than her. He can also see that his reputation has been severely damaged, if not ruined, in his absence; almost none of the Druids have any respect for him anymore. So he makes the wise decision to bring in Francesca, who they have no choice but to respect, and backs away himself. At this point, he intends to return someday when the Druids have been deprogrammed, but of course, later he decides it's not worth it anyway.

So back to: how bad must his life have been surrounded by that? Well, as mentioned, my headcanon is he wasn't surrounded by it very long, if at all. He thought everything was just normal, until he got back from being kidnapped and quickly found it very much wasn't. Whether that's better or worse, though, is up to interpretation. What's worse- seeing those you love fall victim to a cult, or thinking everything is completely fine, and then one day discovering they've been sucked in deep and there's nothing you can do to persuade them anymore since they've come to see you as The Enemy?

In any case, Halsin deserved much better, and I like to think he keeps in touch with Nettie, Rath, and Apikusis after the epilogue, even if he keeps his distance from the Grove itself.

[windsweptinred]

Behold! A Dionysus x Orpheus part headcanon/part mini fic ‘thing’ that has been haunting my brain.

They reunite with much joy and relief. In a world where chaos slowly gains ground and everything is changing around them, they're the one constant left to each other. Orpheus, the last remaining connection Dionysus has, that hasn't been brutally ripped from him. Dionysus, the one steadfast presence left in Orpheus’s life now Riddy has gone. The old order is dying, the future is uncertain. But they have each other and they find solace and comfort in that. 

Dionysus’s faith in Orpheus never shirks, Orpheus’s support for Dionysus never wavers…Feelings form. They're both men of extremes, they fall fast and they fall hard. But his time in the Underworld has left Orpheus plagued by self-doubt. He berates himself constantly for being obsessive, selfish and suffocating with those he loves. He swears to be better for Dionysus. So despite it being completely against his nature, despite his overwhelming desire to prostrate himself at the god's feet and worship him with every fibre of his being. He instead holds back, tries to love Dionysus subtly and quietly. At a time when Dionysus, a naturally exuberant diety, needs loud and consistent shows of affection more than ever before. 

Dionysus watches his friend withdraw and questions if his love is reciprocated. Orpheus sang for Riddy, as if he couldn't keep all that love for her within himself. Yet he receives nothing but shy smiles and careful touches from the musician. Perhaps his father was right? Perhaps the love he craves is forever out of his reach, held at bay by the divine ichor in his veins. 

Orpheus watches the one he adores wilt, watches this vivacious, glorious being dim like a smothered flame. Knows it is once again somehow his fault. And hates himself all the more for it. 

Until one day, Orpheus, in an attempt to heal whatever he has wrought, presents Dionysus with a watch. A gift, he calls it. A replacement for the one the young Olympian nobly sacrificed on his behalf. And Dionysus, with a rare solemnity for the god of frenzy, offers it back to him. Says he's gifting it in turn to Orpheus, and asks, ‘Would you wear it?’ It's a pivotal moment, they both know it. A test, though the mortal doesn't know the hows and whys of it. And in that moment, high on nerves and adrenaline, Orpheus lets his control falter, and lets slip in his most devoted manner, that Dionysos may as well brand it permanently on his skin, as he'd never take it off. 

Kicking himself, Orpheus instantly goes to apologise, retract his fumble. Until he sees the golden fire alight in Dionysus's eyes. And a hopeful smile play upon his lips. The god takes his wrist reverently in his hand, before pointing to the base of the inked titan Atlas, hefting his mighty burden and questions in a frenzied whisper, “Here?” Orpheus smiles brightly, offering his wrist in willing sacrifice and declares earnestly and adoringly, ‘Anywhere you want.’ He watches with exhilaration as the blue veins under the god's digit darken, spread and begin to form a design. 

Later, his mind already a whirl with lyrics, sprung from the taste of wine found upon his new muses lips, Orpheus asks cautiously if this is truly alright? If he's not too much? His divine lover smirks playfully, nipping at his newest tattoo, a clock face encircled by the god's signature vines, emblazoned on his wrist for all to see. “I'm the god of excess Phe.” The blonde declares proudly. “There's no such thing as ‘too much’.”

(I may return to write this out properly as a fic at some point, time allowing. But I needed to get it out of my head and onto paper, so to speak. These two are driving me crazy in all the best ways.) 

[originalaccountname]

Hiiiii for the fic recommendations do you have ones that have a story ( like a mystery, treasure hunt, a case fic, etc)

sooo many (in no particular order):

A Doll's House by Abyss_In_WonderLand_likes_sexy_cannibals (M, 45k, Dazai and Chuuya get stuck in an ability-space created to test partnerships and they must overcome all the challenges to get out)

picking a flower that blooms on the heart for you translated by burgundytshirt (M, 44k, Chuuya suddenly gets hanahaki and dies from it, only to wake up the previous morning in a time loop, and sets on to understand what is going on)

the liar’s house translated by burgundytshirt (M, 19k, Atsushi, Kunikida, Dazai, Chuuya, Kajii and Akutagawa get stuck in a literal haunted house where refusing to answer truthfully takes away one of their senses)

a kick in the teeth (a kiss with a fist) by refectory (T, 7k, Chuuya wakes up in a strange facility with Gin and can't use his ability, they sneak around and beat up people until they figure out why they're here)

To the Undying by SenZen_Travers (T, 7k, Chuuya has been captured on purpose to defeat an enemy and Dazai comes to get him so they can beat up people)

Ephemeris by Seedus (G, 12k, mission fic + character study, Chuuya accidentally displaces Dazai across space and time to save him and has to get him back)

On My Knees (Looking for the Answer) by A_Zap (T, 65k, mission fic + character study, plot alternates between present day trying to fix the situation and people remembering past experiences with Chuuya)

Illustrations of Lying by writingfromtheshadows (M, 49k, for context this one is from 2017, so a whole year before Dead Apple, BEAST, Fifteen, etc, AND YET! Dazai never got to Oda before he died and instead killed and replaced Mori as boss, with Chuuya as his right hand man. They are both having a horrible time, and then a new threat appears to make things worse)

Interpretation of Dreams by AnonymousStory77 (M, 15k ongoing, no it's not finished but I still love what it already has to offer I'm including it)

Bonus round:

Build Upon The Ruins by izanyas (E, 73k, Pacific Rim-inspired AU that actually has Kunikida as the main POV as Dazai's new partner after Chuuya was severely injured, but POV alternates between a few people, including Yosano and Dazai, and yes, it has skk and disabled Chuuya)

[sehodreams]

Hey guys, hope you're all okay with the current situation.

After a couple days, I'm finally more level-headed to talk about this without crying, so I wanted to make a little announcement.

I'll close this blog until new notice, I'm supporting the boycott, and yes, I still love the boys.

I know for some people the boycott seems useless since Seunghan already left, and I'll be fr with you all. Now, I don't know if I (emphasis on I) want him back. What happened was traumatizing in so many ways, I just want him to breathe and get better. I'd love it if he came back, but after everything that happened, I only hope he can be happy, regardless of what his decision is.

Still, I find the boycott extremely important because this has become a precedent I don't want to see again.

Over the years being an SM stan I've seen uncountable times how the company has done nothing to support their artists, and I don't want to support such a useless place anymore.

Being an older fan I'm thankful that my boys have careers stable enough to not depend entirely on the company, but even like that, my older boys (Suho, Chanyeol, Xiumin) have talked about how the company has mistreated them despite the time they have there, which makes me think that SM might be genius at finding talents, but they have no idea how to treat them.

What I'm talking about is not my imagination at all. In the past, cases like Henry, JYJ, F(x) and others have been handled like shit, and I simply don't want the rest of Riize to go through that. As I said, there are precedents, and Seunghan's case is merely one more on the list for them.

Yes, they're a big entertainment company, they'll never be affected by one member leaving since they can simply not care and they'll continue making a ton of money. They could easily find a replacement, or even worse, create another group and forget about all of them (No one will ever make me forget f(x) so don't pretend it hasn't happened). And we've seen that it doesn't matter what we think, they'll continue with their own thing if we're not loud enough (Yes, I understand the concept of obligations, but to have contractual obligations doesn't mean they can continue moving in silence). The boycott, in no way, it's the only way fans have tried to make their feelings clear. It's the last resort to be loud enough.

Honestly, I never expected things to get so out of control. I thought it would be like Chen's case. Maybe a little noise and then things would continue with presentations of Riize as 7 like nothing, as if this was just one of the things we'd remember as a fandom but finally move on from.

Of course, we've seen that this idea was extremely wrong.

I considered common sense like reason enough for Seunghan to come back, and that blinded me into not considering that: 1) Seunghan was still a rookie without stable years of trajectory with a fandom way younger and immature, and 2) Common sense is not an objective or strong enough fundament on which a conclusion could be developed from.

I might sound dumb or pretentious as fuck in that last sentence, but the translation of it is just: I didn't consider those crazy assholes would send a hundred funeral wreaths and bully Seunghan until he left (Only because he dated a girl before debut. Let's be honest, the cigarette was never the cause of this hate.)

This whole post might sound like an order to boycott, but I have no control over anyone's actions as much as no one can't control mine. We, in the end, are free to do whatever we want. I won't judge people who will continue consuming SM's content (let's not forget, Riize's content IS SM's content) as much as no one should judge me for deciding to support the boycott. We all have our own reasons, morals, and values, and that's something I appreciate a lot from the fact that we as people (I deeply hope we all) have the freedom to decide how to act for our own wishes. And, as much as I appreciate my freedom to do what I want, with this last resort I hope Riize gets a fraction of said freedom.

I based my decision to support this boycott on the fact that there are too many cases of SM having terrible management with their idols for years and that I don't want Riize to ever be wrongly treated by them again. First was Seunghan, bullied until he was kicked out/forced to leave, but let's not forget what happened when Anton's picture with his friend (holding hands) got leaked from her private account, and when the picture of Sohee and his friend (kissing his cheek) did too. Like this, we don't know with accuracy what other privacy could be violated tomorrow, who the affected one in the group will be, or the SK fans' reaction.

Will they be forgiven? Will they be forced to apologize? We don't know, and there's no way to conclude what the reaction will be.

I understand that all the boys are going through something delicate right now and that some people might not want to affect them more, I respect their choice to not support the boycott, but in my opinion, the situation already got out of control, and this damage might never be fixed, but the next one could be prevented.

I could continue with a whole post about SM mistakes and how useless they are, but I feel my disappointment should be directed to real action now.

I hope we all (the people who wish to support the boycott) do it better this time, and this means, no kind of interaction with Riize's new official content.

That should be the bare minimum for the case, but I'm not really someone who gets satisfied by the bare minimum.

I (again, emphasis on I) consider that there's no official content that doesn't go with this little standard. With this, I mean fanfiction, fanmade videos, and anything based on Riize's new content (even old one, but I'm a little tired of continuing this idea, you can think on your own). Therefore, I won't be writing for Riize to also support this boycott. (I know some might laugh saying You didn't even post that much anymore, well yeah that was a block but now it's a decision.)

I'm not sure when I will feel comfortable enough to write about Riize again, but I hope not much time goes by. In my case, I don't expect Seunghan back because I don't know what he's really thinking, and I deeply wish he did, but I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want after these traumatic events.

I could say he has to come back, but deciding to be more empathetic, I don't wish any kind of hate (and definitely not this kind of hate) over anyone, not writers, not fans, not idols, so I don't expect him to be on the public eye immediately after officially leaving the group, but I do not want to support a company that puts all their idols to this kind of risk, and I expect them to at least show they're doing something to prevent this on the future.

There's a concept I remember a lot, and it's that by doing nothing you're still risking a result. SM, being silent and non-acting, is putting all the boys at risk, and I only expect SM to prevent this invasion of privacy and damage from repeating and the situation from getting out of control again.

We, as fans, have no obligation to protect them, but SM is their employer, and as such, they have it. Yet, until now, these roles have been reversed.

I believe SM has the resources to do something, and until that happens, I hope we continue giving the message through the only way they'll listen: The boycott.

[ratwithhands]

I made these guys earlier in the christmas break, anyways carnivorous plant alien submas AU :7. (Don't mind the simple doodle style, I was in a bit of an art block when I made this)

The race is called Sapioflora, and they're basically half flesh, half plant matter. There's a couple different types in terms of species, but generally most rely on photosynthesis and absorption through roots. The difference with these two is that they are carnivorous and rely less on sunlight and soil than others, hence why they're fine having more covering clothing. Their civilization has managed to develop to the point of spreading to other planets in the same star system, and running into other alien species. As of right now I'm debating between a few different versions of this concept to write about since there's:

one where the story focuses solely on the twins as conductors and no other characters from pokemon are present

one where other characters from pokemon are present as other Sapioflores

one where other characters from pokemon are present as other alien species

one where the twins work as bounty hunters (and may or may not run into other pokemon characters)

The last one is particularly funky since it delves into Sapiofloran colonies on other planets, interspecies relations/conflict between Sapioflores and other aliens, and how the twins use their abilities to their advantage.

Oh speaking of that, it was pretty fun to mess around with how their designs work! Emmet is a much more vibrant colour, and his body is much more soft and flexible due to him constantly regrowing his body and making new vines. He wears shorter sheer clothing to take advantage of the sunlight, and has a wide open panel on his back to leave room for him to sprout new vines in the event of battle or to just help with a task. He eats an absurd amount of food in order to get enough energy to make this constant growth and replacement possible.

As for Ingo, his body is much more woody and solid, so he tends to move slower but hit harder (and take hits better). He sprouts leaves when more sunlight is available, draining them dry and discarding them once he's had his fill. He tends to wear more thick clothing to protect from harsh temperatures/prevent moisture loss, though he has gaps and slits all over in order to allow him to sprout as needed. Here's a sketch:

There was more but I can't remember what it was, anyways here's some bonus doodles. Have a good night and let me know what you think :7

^ doodle of Emmet's vines. Emmet is mostly thorny, he's also able to make modified thorns into blades. This is more prevalent in the bounty hunter version concept, but he can still do this in the others (Ingo can do this too! Depending on the situation they'll either make blades or saws)

^ Emmet will use his vines when he doesn't want to do something directly, usually to do two things at once, but he'll sometimes use it when he's tired

^ Emmer :7 fun fact his teeth are just weirder thorns, so they have the same colour as them. (I still haven't decided whether Sapioflores have eyes, but they'd probably sit under the leaves on their faces)

[melancholy-of-nadia]

love u lately (m) #6 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately​ chapter title: #6 - introspection pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; summary: the end of the fall semester leaves you overwhelmed and overstimulated: final exams, presentations, and now, your friends with benefits deal with yoongi AND jimin. when you head back to your hometown for the holidays, you can't seem to stop thinking about your feelings towards your best friends and how you're going to approach this challenge in the new year. and apparently, you're not the only one going through this. warnings:  smut, spicy time in the library study room, fingering, final exam presentation because this is a college AU, toys... not for kids, y/n past relationship mentions, swearing, NAMJOON POV, more angst because they're confused college kids, y/n being in her head a lot and reflecting, very small timeskips for plot note: everyone say thank you to @daegudrama for editing this chapter! total word count: 9.6k drop date: January 9th, 2024, 12:30PM PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #5 | Series Masterlist | #7

The deal is sealed with a kiss on November 16, 20XX, an unexpected turn in your relationship with Yoongi and Jimin. As the 0309x1013 group chat was created, signaling the beginning of this uncharted journey, everyone agreed to take things slow, fully aware of the potential risks involved.

With Thanksgiving approaching, the university granted a break for the following week. Instead of heading home, you all decide to have a Friendsgiving together at the house, creating a memorable celebration. The backyard is transformed into a makeshift KBBQ haven, complete with the tantalizing aroma of grilled meats wafting through the air. In an unexpected fusion of cultures, you and Jungkook insist on having pumpkin pie for dessert.

This alternative celebration with friends spares you from the potential awkwardness of interrogations from your relatives about college life and romance. And there is no way in hell you can ever bring up your friends with benefits deal to them. You will be branded as the weird and psychotic child in the family. They may as well burn you at stake.

With more time on your hands, the week break lets you seize moments of solitude with Yoongi and Jimin, stolen kisses and playful slaps on the ass becoming commonplace. Jimin seems to enjoy the latter more, and in a surprising turn of events, Yoongi decides to adopt that habit too.

As schedules align for once, you all indulge in a Friday Night Game Night. The living room transforms for Cards Against Humanity, with soju bottles and beer adding to the spirited atmosphere. Namjoon, however, appears a bit distant, engrossed in his phone. A pang of guilt flutters in your chest, realizing he remains the only best friend unaware of the recent developments. Before you can think too deeply about it, the raucous laughter of the others brings you back to the game.

+++++++++

November 29th [THURSDAY]

The subsequent week marks dead week, a period of intense preparation for impending exams. Your focus turns to Finance, Stats, and Psych, subjects you can’t afford to fail. You were already struggling a bit a few weeks ago as you didn’t do well on your Finance midterm. So you need to get your shit together. Determined to get your academic affairs in order, you book a study room in the library, reaching out to the BTS group chat for potential study buddies. Everyone seems occupied elsewhere, except Yoongi.

Amid the hushed atmosphere of the study room, Yoongi arrives and sits next to you, bearing the weight of textbooks from his Psych classes and the impending stress of exams. The initial exchange of nods and silent acknowledgments is replaced by the persistent rustling of papers and whispering discussions on complex subjects.

As the study session progresses, the tension in the room seems to escalate. Yoongi, sensing the collective stress coming from you reading a question over and over, decides it's time for a much-needed break.

Yoongi lets out a sigh, pushing his chair back slightly. "I need a break, Angel." he admits, rubbing his temples as if trying to physically massage the stress away.

You nod in agreement, closing your textbook with a thud. "Yeah, we should take a break. I think my brain needs a reset."

Yoongi leans in, his voice low and suggestive, "Should we do something to relieve stress?"

Your eyebrows raise in curiosity. "Uh, what do you have in mind?"

You’re going to regret asking this.

A sly smile plays on Yoongi's lips as he brings up a topic that has been lingering unaddressed, "You know, you never really got your punishment for spending time with Jimin. I think it's high time we settle that."

“W-What do you mean?”

Yoongi places his hand on your knee under the table, slowly moving it and placing it in your inner thigh, nearing your heat. You gasp quietly, surprised and excited by his boldness.

“I’ll show you,” he says, looking down at you. You really decided to wear a skirt on the worst day.

You swallow hard, a lump forming in your throat. You're not sure if you're ready for this, but your body betrays you, betraying your nervousness and hesitance. He doesn't say anything else, just looks at you expectantly, waiting for your response.

Finally, you nod, the words coming out in a whispery breath, "Okay, b-but we're in a study room…what if someone sees?!"

Yoongi chuckles, "The door and windows outside this room are frosted glass, they will see people in here but won't know what they're doing." He moves his hand under your skirt, slides your panties off to the side and starts circling your bud.

His fingers dance back and forth, sending shivers down your spine. You moan softly, overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through your body. He then reaches down and gently pushes one finger inside you, stretching you open. The sensation is incredible, and you can't help but arch your back, begging for more. It’s been too long without the fullness of his fingers inside you.

His digits move inside faster, and you try to cover your mouth before getting louder, fearing people outside will know what you're doing. It's almost like you can hear their whispers, taste your own fear that someone might catch you. But, Yoongi's eyes are locked onto you, and he knows exactly what he's doing. He leans in and kisses you, his tongue darting out to taste you, his lips demanding more than just a taste. Your body is on fire now, your heart races, and your breath hitches at every touch, every thrust. He pulls you close, his body pressing against yours, and you can't help but grind against his hands, seeking more of him.

It's then that you lose yourself, your body convulsing and trembling under his touch. Yoongi lets out an intense groan, in reaction to her squirming delight from his digits reaching the right spots.

You collapse back onto the chair, panting and sweating. Yoongi pulls your panties back in place and he opens your text book, reading the question .

“Mary has obtained a $10,000 loan to buy a used car. She is considering 12, 24, and 48-month loans, all of which carry an annual interest rate of 6%. Which of the following statements is true?” Yoongi reads, glancing at you for an answer.

“I hate you so much.” You scoff, covering your flushed face. You can’t believe he really went from fingering you and back to studying, well, helping you study now like it’s nothing. “And the answer is ‘A longer loan period means she will pay more total interest’!”

Yoongi's low chuckle ripples through the room, a mixture of amusement and a hint of satisfaction. He leans back, a playful glint in his eyes as he takes in your blushing and slightly disheveled appearance. The aftermath of a brief interlude from studying seems to have lightened the mood, and he can't help but revel in his revenge move.

"Post-nut clarity does wonders, doesn't it, angel?" he teases, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The humor in his tone lingers, adds an extra layer of playfulness to the moment. "Glad I could assist."

“Please, shut up!”

Yoongi's low chuckle fills the room again as he leans back in his chair, still basking in the aftermath of the unconventional study break. "You know, I'm just trying to make sure you remember the material. Practical application, right?"

Rolling your eyes, you reach for your water bottle, taking a long sip to cool down the lingering warmth on your face. "Practical application, my ass. You just wanted an excuse to finally get back at me.”

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" He smirks, closing the textbook with a decisive snap. "Now, back to studying for your Finance final."

“You’re unbelievable, Min Yoongi.” You groan dramatically, but you can't deny that maybe this helped you destress.

+++++++++++++++

DECEMBER 4TH [TUESDAY]

The week swiftly transitions into finals, marked by a cascade of exams and the pressure building up for the impending challenges. The first two days witness you navigating through three exams, managing to hold your own despite the weight of academic stress.

Amidst the stress, Jin's birthday slipped your mind. The oversight dawns on you during the marketing group project presentation run-through. The team, a makeshift family made during this semester, surprises Jin with a chocolate lunchbox cake adorned with a Mario frosting doodle. Thank God someone else remembered. The makeshift Mario-themed cake adds a touch of joy to the moment, catching Jin off guard.

"Hyejin, I really thought that box was just extra food from the dining hall." Jin chuckles as he is about to take a bite of the cake. Hwasa playfully kicks him in the butt, laughter echoing in the room. Amid the small birthday celebration, the impending final marketing presentation remains a looming challenge.

The team urges you to lead the presentation, praising your storytelling skills that you tend to downplay. Jimin and Jin offer words of encouragement, reassuring you that your ability to make things work out will shine through once again. As you contemplate the final tomorrow, you hope things will go well. For now, the celebratory atmosphere provides a momentary reprieve before the final academic hurdle of the semester.

+++++++++++++++

DECEMBER 5TH [WEDNESDAY]

The following day arrives, and you find yourself standing in the seminar classroom, ready to deliver your In-N-Out marketing presentation. Unlike the typical lecture hall, the business school's seminar classrooms mimic real-world business meetings, focusing attention on the speaker.

Dressed in a crisp white collared blouse paired with a sleek black pencil skirt, you exude professionalism. The subtle hum of the pantyhose beneath your attire and the comfort of loafers complete the polished look, projecting confidence and sophistication as you prepare to engage your audience. The rest of your team members are dressed in similar fashion, with black slacks and white collared shirts. Jimin, Jin, and Matthew sport black ties as well.

You begin the presentation with a captivating introduction: "Ladies and gentlemen, today, we're delving into the world of In-N-Out – not just a fast-food chain, but a West Coast staple and a testament to effective marketing. Let's talk about why people don't just eat at In-N-Out; they love it, and we're about to uncover the secrets behind their success."

As you, Hwasa, Matthew, Jin and Jimin weave through the details of In-N-Out's marketing strategy, emphasizing its family-oriented approach and the cult-like following it has garnered, the room becomes animated with engaged reactions from your peers. The dialogue is punctuated with anecdotes about the brand's iconic status, creating an atmosphere of hunger and nostalgia.

The end of your presentation is met with applause and excitement. To add to the celebration, Matthew surprises the class with several boxes of In-N-Out animal style fries. That was his idea to entice the audience and the judge, Professor Kim. The gesture not only elevates the experience but also earns cheers from your hungry classmates, turning the presentation into a shared moment of enjoyment. Even your professor can't help but express pride in the engaging and delicious conclusion to your marketing showcase.

As the final comes to an end, your team members shower you with congratulations for delivering an exceptional presentation, with special praise for your captivating introduction and conclusion. Professor Kim approaches your team, a smile on her face, to deliver the good news. She informs you that you all received an A on the final project. Although she hasn't graded the paper portion yet, the impressive effort you put into the project leads her to believe it's bound to be another automatic A.

Walking back home with Jimin, you think about how the success of the presentation and the positive feedback from your professor lifts your spirits.

“Honey, I actually ended up getting you something for working hard throughout the semester on this project. Consider it an early christmas gift too?” Jimin speaks as his hand is shuffling inside his pocket to find the keys to the front door.

Jimin got you a present? You thought it was a little odd, but not completely unlike him to do something like that. He’s always been kind, and while his love language is clearly physical touch, gift giving ties with words of affirmation as a second.

“A gift? You shouldn’t have, Jiminie. Like, really!” You insisted your best friend, walking in once he opens the door.

“It’s nothing! It’s up in my room. I’ll come right over to your room once i grab it.”

You nod, heading upstairs to your room right next to Jimin’s. You don’t know why, but when someone suddenly says they get you something, you can’t help but feel a little nervous. What could he have possibly gotten that he insists on giving it to you before Christmas. Maybe it’s food? There is a bakery off campus that has special made-to-order seasonal pies. You remember going with Jimin and Taehyung to get a pumpkin cream pie there last year, but you were too busy this semester to have time to order one.

Well…

You’re not too far from that guess. Actually you were very far off from any potential thought of what this man could have gifted you, but when Jimin enters your room holding a relatively small black box, you know for a fact that this is not food.

“Here,” Jimin hands you the box, which feels slightly heavy. “Open it.”

Jimin’s eyes and lips turn into crescent moons as he sits on the bed next to you. Oh this can’t be good. You give him a weird glance before going ahead and opening the black box.

What you find in there, makes you yelp and you drop the box which causes the object in it to plop out onto the floor.

“Jimin, what the fuck!”

Suppressing his giggles, Jimin maintains a hushed tone to avoid drawing attention to the two of you in your room. You hope to God that no one else is in this house right now, but given what has happened previously, there’s always one other person somewhere.

"You got me a sex toy… Why would you buy this?!" you whisper with a blend of surprise and agitation, not quite sure what to make of the unexpected gift. You never expected Jimin to get you something like this. And if this were any other situation, you’d probably laugh, but all you can do is look at Jimin with a mortified expression.

Jimin, unable to suppress his laughter any longer, bursts into a fit of giggles. He quickly places a hand over his mouth, attempting to stifle the noise. You, on the other hand, are still grappling with the absurdity of the situation as you stare at the rose-shaped adult toy lying innocently on the floor.

"I thought you could use a little stress relief," Jimin finally manages to say between laughs. "And we did talk about experimentation before, so I wanted to try this on you. I kept seeing people talk online about it so i wanna use it on you."

His words make your face blush red rapidly. You pick up the toy, and now closely examining it to see that it is indeed one of those rose-shaped clit sucking sex toys that have been trending online, however this one comes attached to a vibrating dildo at the bottom of the rose.

You can’t believe he got you a fucking vibrating clit sucking toy and dildo.

This isn’t a pumpkin cream pie you were hoping for, but this could be involved in other cream pies.

And he’s right. You were keen on the idea of experimenting new things involving sex, and while other things like bdsm crossed your mind first, using sex toys wasn’t really a thought at all. You hadn’t done too much with the two men, but you’ve been pretty satisfied giving or receiving oral or an occasional quickie.

“Hey, hey, darling. I thought we could try it, but if you’re not comfortable with this, we don’t have to do it.” he speaks up before you can speak out your own thoughts. But you really don’t know what else to say besides ‘what the fuck’. You’re so shocked that you can’t even react or talk properly.

“We? You want us to try this?” you ask slowly, looking back at your best friend that gives you a short nod. He wants to try this himself?! Or did he mean use it on you?

“I mean you can try it when you’re alone, it’s totally up to you.”

“What? No! ” you shake your head.

“I just want to help make you feel good. You’re already doing so much being with Yoongi hyung and I. Sex with you feels so amazing, and I don’t know if you feel the same, so I thought this would help emphasize those feelings.”

Sex with Jimin feels so liberating, so sensual. It is definitely a contrast from fucking Yoongi, which makes you feel secure and comfort. Fuck, Y/N. If you’re doing this deal to figure out your feelings, it’s not going to be easy. You care about both of them equally. You can’t fathom being without either of them in your life.

“Is this something you want to try?” you ask him curiously, and you see him relax when he notices your interest and that you’re no longer overthinking his present.

“If you want to,” he answers seriously, which causes you to glare at him. “We can just try the roses’ function to start and then the dildo depending how you feel?”

The thought of him using this toy piques your curiosity and brings a tinge of excitement. It's new territory for you. You've only been with a total of 4 people in your life. And you’ve never had the balls to buy something like this, not even when you wanted to pleasure yourself. Your fingers could do only so little inside you and flicking the bean, that you often ended up more frustrated with no orgasm.

“Okay, let’s try it.” You walk towards your door, locking it, and turning back to sit on your bed. “Also, when did you even buy this?”

Jimin chuckles, taking your hand as he laces his fingers with your own. “I had passed a sex shop the other day I went out to buy something else. So I got it, hid it in my room, and waited. It wasn’t easy.” he answers, watching you as you grab the vibrator again with your free hand and examine the object.

“With this much functionality, it looks expensive?”

“Oh trust me, it was. I got it in pastel pink because it’s cute just like your pussy.” He pouts, making you reflexively hit him in the arm. “I’d get anything for you, my love.”

Oh fuck, your heart is beating fast.

“Jimin, you joke a lot, but don’t say stuff like that.” You murmur, avoiding his eyes while looking at the sex toy.

“But why not? It’s true!” He tells you honestly, placing a kiss on your cheek, making you sigh at the feeling.

But what’s true? That he genuinely means you’re his love or that he’ll get you anything?

Things like this mess with your head. It makes you think things like him actually being in love with you is a possibility. But he wouldn’t fall for you. You know how Jimin has always been. Hopping from one person to another. You’re not entirely sure what feelings he has to sort out for him to be involved in this deal, but maybe the casual sex with his best friend is a temporary bliss for him to indulge in pleasure. But there is a part of you that does think otherwise.

The way he carries himself when he’s around you is much different than how he is with other girls, even previously with Irene. He’s truly himself, constantly showering you with love and physical affection even when others are looking, making you wish he could freely kiss you and fuck you senselessly. You wonder if he realizes this contrast as well. Though for him, these actions might just come natural when he’s around you. He has known you for almost a decade. Other people really don’t bat an eye at that like at the halloween party. And when you return that energy back at him, what does that really say about how you feel about Jimin?

Is this love?

Maybe the excessive release of sex hormones are getting to your head. You should just focus on indulging in the pleasure and go all out while you’re still in college. It’ll probably end sooner or later. As it should. Maybe Jimin and Yoongi should find someone else that isn’t as indecisive as you.

“Let’s try it.” you speak up, slowly handing out the toy to Jimin as his eyes widen in shock.

“Right now? Really? You looked kinda scared earlier.” he asks, eyes filled with worry but also a hidden excitement behind them.

“I did look scared, didn’t I?,” You laugh, “But I want to try this. Gotta live it up while I still can.” You assure him, giving him a slight smile he returns.

Giving you a little nod, he leans in next to you, reaching your lips for a kiss. He gives a few pecks to them, before he stands up and hovers over you. Reaching for his white collared shirt and clutching it in a fist, you pull him towards you which surprises him and causes him to stumble back.

He pins you down with his darkened eyes meanwhile a satisfied grin appears on his plump lips as your back meets the mattress. When his lips press against your jaw, neck and slowly move at the top of your blouse-covered breasts, you feel yourself arching from the bed in a desperate need to feel him more and closer. While his lips are preoccupied with your exposed skin that is available to his mouth, Jimin’s hands are too busy gripping your hips, ass.

He leans down, pulling off your pantyhose, your pencil skirt, and then your white lace panties. The sight of your bare pussy never ceases to amaze him.

“You looked hot in your professional business lady outfit, but I like seeing you without anything on.”

You giggle at his silly remark. Typical horny college student.

He presses the rose toy against your sensitive clit, and you shiver at the contact. He turns it on, the first setting of soft vibrations already sending shocks of pleasure coursing through your body.

Your breath starts to quicken as Jimin presses on to modes of vibrations, intensifying the feeling inside you. You close your eyes, feeling light-headed from the pleasure and anticipation. Meanwhile, Jimin's free hand continue to roam, exploring every inch of your body. He somehow manages to unbutton your white blouse with one hand and then pushes up your lilac floral bra to get a view of your breasts. He massages them gently, pinching your nipples up between his fingers.

As the vibrations reach a higher pitch, you can feel your body becoming more and more aroused. You’re worried that it sounds too loud, but before you can ponder it more, you moan softly, unable to resist the pleasure that's building inside you.

“F-Fuck…”

Jimin grins wickedly, his eyes never leaving your flushed face. "Feeling good, Y/N?"

You nod, unable to form words. Your body is now a mass of need, every muscle tensing and releasing in waves of pleasure.

With that, the vibration gets more intense and faster, your clit throbbing almost painfully while Jimin starts rubbing the rose at your most sensitive spot. This feeling is different – you’ve never felt this kind of pleasure before. You suddenly understand Jimin's eagerness to try something new and trying sex toys was something you never thought you'd experience. He’s truthful to his words, wanting to help you feel pleasure through different ways.

The new pleasant feeling makes your whole body shiver, or maybe it’s Jimin's dark lustful eyes hovering over with dark hair falling onto his face, or it’s a simple combination of both that takes you over the edge before you can even realize it. With another rub and skilful twist of his wrist, you’re instantly cumming undone just from the set of vibration. Legs shakingly in the air from the intensity, liquid squirting out which you never thought your body could do.

Holy shit.

Jimin rides you through it, slowing down the vibration until he fully turns it off when you're left breathless.

"How was it?" he smirks, watching your chest rise and fall as you catch your breath, waiting for you to glance back at him. “I can’t believe that made you squirt, has that ever happened to you before?”

"You're fucking crazy…” The residual tingles linger, and a sly grin crosses your face as you appreciate the Jimin’s spontaneity. “I’ve never actually squirted in my life so I guess it was that good then?”

“Really? Never?” Jimin asks, feeling prideful for being the first one to get you to squirt. “God, I wish I could brag about this.”

“Yeah, but would you please help me clean up because we yet again ruined another set of sheets.” You giggle as you get up from the wet spot, feeling cold, sticky and in need of a shower. Jimin, already an experienced cleaner, goes to grab extra bedding from your closet.

You somehow manage to survive the semester. Barely.

+++++++++++++++++++

December 8th [SATURDAY]

On Saturday, the whole house is buzzing with activity as everyone packs their luggage or duffle bags to head back home for the holidays after finals. Since all of you are from the same hometown, you've decided to carpool in the only two vehicles you have available: Jin's car, carrying Taehyung, Jungkook, and Hoseok, and Jimin's car, with you, Namjoon, and Yoongi.

As Jimin pulls up to your street, a sense of nostalgia washes over you. The familiar houses, the tree-lined streets, and the cozy neighborhood covered in Christmas decor evoke nostalgic memories. At the end of the cul-de-sac, are two houses where you and Namjoon live. Jimin and Yoongi drop you both off, bidding you goodbye for the time being.

“You won’t get rid off us for long,” Yoongi chuckles as he moves to sit on the front passenger seat, which you previously sat on. You get car sick if you’re in the back.

“Yeah, you two will see us around! Probably one more than the other.” Jimin winks at you, knowing that these words are definitely targeted at you. Namjoon has no idea of the meaning behind the words. Though you don’t know if you end up having any rendezvous with them during the break. Too risky.

“Okay, okay! You two better get home before your moms decide to call me worried about your whereabouts.” You shoo them away. “Don’t forget to text me about whatever you decide to do during break.”

“We will,” Yoongi waves to the both of you as Jimin turns the car around the cul-de-sac to leave, Namjoon and you watch as Jimin's car drives away until it disappears around the corner. The air is crisp, and the quietness of the suburban streets contrasts with the bustling holiday season. Namjoon turns to look at you, with a smile, “Well I’ll be sure to come over one of these days to hang out and send my greetings to your parents.”

You giggle at his politeness, “I know you just want to come over and eat the Christmas treats my mom is going to whip up, so yes, you’re to come over Joonie.”

The two of you share a slightly awkward silence before Namjoon breaks it with a warm hug. There's something about him embracing you in public that leaves you feeling flustered. This isn’t the first time that it has happened, but you can't help but notice the subtle reddening of your cheeks. As he pulls away, you hope he doesn't catch on, but he seems more focused on grabbing his luggage from the ground. With a quick "bye," he leaves you standing there, slightly dumbfounded.

What was that?

You shake your head, deciding to give yourself more time to think about it once you’re settled back in your room.

You approach your front door and knock. The familiar scent of home envelops you as your sister swings it open, excitement evident in her words as she wraps you in a tight hug. Stepping aside, she ushers you into the house. Your parents are at work, and won't be back until evening. Despite the months that have passed since you were last home, returning after a college break always feels a bit strange. The absence of the usual ruckus created by the other guys intensifies the void of loneliness.

In your room, you sit and stare at your phone, mindlessly scrolling through TikToks and other apps for hours. Eventually, you decide to lock your phone and gaze up at the ceiling, contemplating the different atmosphere and reflection of the fall semester in the quiet surroundings of your family home.

This is too much alone time to overthink.

It's also the first moment of peace you've had. It suddenly hits you — you're entangled with two out of your three best friends. It feels insane, and a month into this arrangement, your emotions remain tangled and unsorted. What the fuck are you going to do? There’s no game plan to this and it kind of scares you. There's also a particular aspect you've been avoiding, a name that lingers in your conscience: Namjoon.

You do feel guilt over doing this behind Namjoon's back. And a part of you hurts doing this too. It doesn’t feel right. He doesn’t deserve that either.

Now with Jimin joining this thing that you have with Yoongi, you wonder if Namjoon would be willing to do that too. You're aware that he's no longer with Jihyo, but whether he's involved with someone else, you're uncertain. The image of him on his phone during the card game flashes in your mind, but amid the chaos, you've been preoccupied with managing your own emotions and keeping everything under wraps.

No. Namjoon, the most logic-driven member in your quad and whole Beta Tau Sigma house would never. That’s like crazy. What kind of sane person is friends with benefits with three people at the same time? You can barely handle two people, let alone three. And as you had already thought before, what will the end result be? You only end up with one of them. And what about the other two?

Things would be easier if you could all be in a polyamorous relationship.

That’s only a dream though. No way that could happen when society is still iffy when it comes to sam sex relationships.

But not having Namjoon in the mix feels like you can’t properly settle things.

You don’t think Namjoon has those types of feelings or thoughts of you because he’s known you the longest. He's been there from the beginning, witnessing your growth and sharing a bond that transcends mere friendship. Family. In his eyes, you're more like a little sister, a connection resembling the one he has with his actual sibling, Kyeongmin, navigating her freshman year at a different college.

Your phone pinged unexpectedly, prompting you to check the 0309x1013 group chat.

Yoongi [4:21 PM]: Can we change the gc name to something else?

You decide to reply.

You [4:21 PM]: All of a sudden?

Yoongi [4:22 PM]: It’s too sus.

Yoongi [4:22 PM]: My brother was getting ideas when he saw my phone light up.

Yoongi [4:22 PM]: He said he saw a dating scandal break out with a group chat named with dates in Korea.

Jimin [4:23 PM]: LMAO

Jimin [4:23 PM]: I got an idea for a new name just now.

[[Jimin changed the GC name to ‘The Sanctuary’]]

Yoongi [4:25 PM]: The Sanctuary?

Jimin [4:26 PM]: It’s a SONG I really like right now.

Jimin [4:26 PM]: I think this name fits the purpose of this gc really well.

You [4:27 PM]: I like it c;

You [4:27 PM]: You guys are my sanctuary c:

Yoongi [4:29 PM]: …

Jimin [4:30 PM]: LOL not hyung being flustered. Jimin [4:30 PM]: this is too funny!! i never see him like this Yoongi [4:32 PM]: Aye....

Yoongi [4:32 PM]: She needs to stop..

Yoongi [4:32 PM]: you're being too cute honey! >:3

You find it adorable when Yoongi gets flustered, which doesn’t happen too often. You’re glad you have these two around, as close as you could possibly have them all to yourself. Is this selfish? Well isn't that what love is about? To be a bit selfish in wanting those you care about close to you? Shaking off those contemplative thoughts, you focus on the playful banter within the group chat.

++++++++++

December 10th [Monday]

On Monday morning, a text from Kyeongmin brightens your day. The invitation to join their family for some homemade kimchi is too tempting to resist. You slip out of your pajamas, opting for flared jeans and a cozy turtleneck, then head next door.

Kyeongmin greets you with a warm hug, exclaiming, "Unnie! It's been a while! How have you been?" She gestures for you to come inside, and you gladly accept.

"I've been good! It's been an eventful semester, to say the least," you reply. As you step in, Namjoon's mom, Mrs. Kim, peeks out from the kitchen.

"Namjoon hasn't been giving you a hard time, has he?" she teases. You smile at her, appreciating the familiarity of the Kim family home.

"Hi, Mrs. Kim! At the start, I would say he was, but he's been good. How are you doing?" you ask, approaching her.

"I'm doing good, sweetheart. I'm glad Joonie has been a good sport," she replies. Mrs. Kim hands you chopsticks with a piece of kimchi, urging you to eat. You gladly oblige, savoring the familiar taste.

"Thank you! Luckily, Yoongi and Seokjin were in charge of cooking, so we were able to eat well," you share.

"Is Oppa still a terrible cook?" Kyeongmin snickers as she chewed a mouthful of food.

"Haha, actually, he's been improving, thanks to Yoongi. He can make really good carbonara now," you giggle as you praise Namjoon, who coincidentally enters the dining room and takes a seat.

"Oh, Y/N, you're here!" he exclaims in a sleepy voice. Dressed in a black tank top and grey sweatpants, he seems to have just woken up.

"Did you really just wake up?" you tease.

"Yeah, because I was resting. The whole point of the break, Honey,"

"I like to be more productive with my breaks, Joonie," you smirk, earning an eye roll from Namjoon.

Mrs. Kim ushers you to join Namjoon at the table, setting up an array of banchan in front of both of you before placing bowls of Doenjang-jjigae as well.

"So, what's the move for today?" you ask.

"I had plans to go meet up with someone," Namjoon replies.

"Someone?" you inquire.

"Was it that girl you were on the phone with last night?" Kyeongmin adds, and Namjoon chokes on his kimchi.

"Kyeong!"

You can't help but wonder if your suspicions about Namjoon seeing someone are accurate.

"What? There's no reason for you to be hiding that from Y/N. She's your best friend, after all," Kyeongmin remarks. Her words strike a chord in your heart.

"I'm not seeing anyone, Kyeong. Y/N would be the first to know if I was, right, Y/N?" Namjoon looks at you.

You hum, "Mm, I don't know, Namjoon. You didn't tell me about you and Jihyo until October." Namjoon’s eyes widen at the mention of his technically ex-girlfriend in front of his sister. His mom is too occupied looking for something in the pantry to hear.

"Oh my God, you had a girlfriend?!" Kyeongmin gasps.

"Well…" Namjoon clears his throat, "We ended things before we made it official."

"Why?" Kyeongmin looks at both of you, hoping for an explanation.

"It's complicated," he vaguely replies, and the topic is dropped. The room falls into a brief silence as you all continue to eat.

"Y/N, are you seeing someone?" Mrs. Kim asks as she enters the dining room with more kimchi.

"N-No," you stammer, catching Namjoon's eyes. "I've been focused on my studies too much to look for love."

"Oh, you're such a studious girl," she praises, patting your back. "I was thinking of setting you up with my friend's son. His name is Lee Dongmin. He goes to a lovely private university down south. You'd love him!"

"Mom," Namjoon warns, a certain look in his eyes.

Trying to lighten the situation, you giggle, "Thank you, Mrs. Kim. I'll think about it and let you know."

After finishing your meal, washing the dishes, and bidding farewell to the Kim family, you return home. As Mrs. Kim closes the door, Namjoon heads back to his room, avoiding eye contact.

"I see you still get jealous," his mom observes, aware of the feelings Namjoon harbors for you.

He shakes his head, "I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Why do you say that?"

"I just know that Yoongi and Jimin probably feel the same way. Maybe even more guys at school feel the same way too. I don't know how I compare to them," he admits, leaving his mother sighing in the living room over her son's reluctance to express his feelings.

++++++++++++++++

December 12th [Wednesday]

It's around noon on December 12th, a Wednesday, when Namjoon decides to surprise you with an unannounced visit. He has a habit of dropping by unexpectedly, assuming you wouldn't have any weekday plans during winter break. However, today, he's in for a surprise himself.

Expecting to find you in your usual winter break attire – Christmas green and blue plaid pajama pants and a band t-shirt – he's taken aback. Your eyes light up at the sight of him, clearly not anticipating his presence. Namjoon sneaks a glance at your outfit, a grey roll neck knit sweater dress paired with thigh-high black felt boots. He quickly shifts his gaze back to your face, hoping you didn't catch him checking you out. Are you actually dressed to go out?

"O-Oh hey, Joon! What's up?" you greet him.

"Hey, uh, I came over to hang out with you, but I see you have plans?"

"Oh, um," you look down at your well-put-together outfit, a bit embarrassed he caught you dressed up, "I had plans to hang out with Yoongi, actually, but something came up, so now I'm dressed up to be at home."

Yoongi? Fuck. His mind briefly flits to bad thoughts of you two together, but he quickly dismisses it. We're all friends here. Yoongi wouldn't do that. Still, his insecurities have been getting the better of him lately.

"Yoongi?" Namjoon sounds more surprised than he intended.

"Yeah, we were going to go out shopping for Christmas gifts," you explain. Namjoon mentally sighs in relief. "But his mom is dragging him to help with some church fundraising event selling soondae soup."

Namjoon makes a mental note to thank Mrs. Min silently. This unexpected turn of events gives him the chance to hang out with you alone for the first time in forever.

"So what I'm hearing is that you're free?" he teases, leaning against the doorway and looking at you.

"Depends," you pucker your lips in thought, "What did you have in mind?"

Namjoon knows you're mostly a homebody, except for those spontaneous bursts of energy. He treads carefully with his suggestion, aware that one wrong move could lead you to decline his invitation. But there's one thing he's pretty sure you won't refuse.

"Want to get boba?"

"Boba?!" Bingo. Your eyes widen with excitement. "Is it from the place I'm thinking of?"

“Tea-cha!” You both exclaim in unison. Tea-cha is a familiar spot, closely located to the neighborhood where you both reside. It holds sentimental value, being the place you both frequented after school back in your high school. The boba might not be that great, but he knows the pure nostalgia makes you crave it whenever you're back home.

"Just like old times," Namjoon remarks, gazing deeply into your eyes. A dark, coffee like color that glistens stars made up of tiny sugar crystals. Always mesmerizing, he thinks to himself.

"Okay, but I'll drive!" you offer, grabbing the keys and your bag hanging on the hooks next to your door. "I can't believe you still don't have your license after all this time." You laugh, but he's always been apprehensive about the prospect of getting into an accident. With all his friends driving, he hasn't felt the urgent need to obtain a license.

"Shut up, tiny. I'll get it someday."

+++++++++++++++

You navigate your trusty black sedan while Namjoon occupies the passenger seat, engrossed in scrolling through his phone to peruse the menu.

Arriving at Tea-cha, he takes the initiative to place your order: strawberry green tea with honey boba, 25% sweetness, and light ice. He beams with pride about knowing your preferred drink, and you can't help but giggle at his enthusiasm. For himself, he opts for a roasted oolong milk tea with honey boba. As you reach for your card to settle the bill, he swiftly taps his own card on the machine.

Already using up gas and driving, covering the boba tab is the least he could do.

After securing your boba drinks, you decide to take a trip down memory lane and drive to your old high school.

Sitting in the empty student parking lot, Namjoon cues up his favorite playlist, guided by your impeccable taste in music. "Ride" by HYBS fills the car, creating a nostalgic atmosphere as you sip your drinks and gaze out at the familiar football field. The landscape around is serene, with birds gliding by and the leafless trees standing against the winter chill.

As the soft melodies of the playlist envelop the car, your conversation with Namjoon takes on a myriad of trivial topics. From discussing the latest quirky memes circulating on the internet to reminiscing about the absurdities of his high school years, the range of subjects is as diverse as your friendship.

At one point, you find yourselves debating the merits of various fast-food items, playfully arguing over the supremacy of McDonald's fries versus Burger King's onion rings. Namjoon can't help but chuckle at your passionate defense.

The conversation then shifts to your shared love for classic literature, with Namjoon excitedly recommending a new novel he recently discovered. You, in turn, share your fascination with a contemporary author you had just discovered during your break. Namjoon made a mental note to get you a book by them for Christmas.

The triviality of the topics is what makes these moments special to him, like exchanging anecdotes about your friends or laughing about the virginity race from high school.

You asked, curiosity evident in your eyes, "Speaking of people, who did you end up seeing on Monday?"

The question catches Namjoon off guard. He wasn’t trying to hide who he was going to go see, but also didn’t want to give you the wrong idea.

"Oh, uh, I met up with Soyoon," he carefully admits, the words carrying a sharp feeling as he voice them out.

"Soyoon? As in my coworker and friend, Hwang Soyoon?"

"Yeah," he responds, sensing a shift in the atmosphere. A fleeting thought crossed his mind— maybe that wasn’t a good idea. He mentally curses Kyeongmin for bringing it up on Monday and you hearing it.

"Shit," he mutters internally, realizing that this could imply that he likes Soyoon. He fidgeted, contemplating the consequences of his openness.

"Ah, didn't know she was your type," you remark casually, resuming the rhythmic sip of your drink. There it is. The one thing he knew you’d jump to conclude.

"I said I'm not seeing anyone," he protests, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. "We're just talking." He tries to steer the conversation away from misconceptions, emphasizing his purely platonic interactions with Soyoon.

You, however, narrow your eyes, a gesture that did not escape Namjoon's notice. "About ART! She’s helping me with something." he clarifies.

"Okay, Joonie, whatever you say," you respond, your tone carrying a subtle playfulness.

The conversation takes an unforeseen turn when Namjoon, succumbing to an unspoken frustration, poses a question he instantly regrets.

"What about you? Dressing up all cute to hang out with Yoongi?" The words slipped out, revealing an undercurrent of bitterness at the perceived shift in your priorities.

A sharp pang lingers within him. You've been spending more time with Yoongi and Jimin, which is starting to create a growing distance visible in his eyes.

He still remembers when Yoongi called him out back at Jimin’s birthday for not knowing your favorite drink. He still remembers when he saw you dancing giddily across the room with Jimin at Matthew’s halloween party. He still remembers hearing you, Yoongi, and Jimin laughing and talking from inside your room before he went up to call you over to the living room. He feels like an outsider these days, observing you in the light as he stands in the darkness, feeling pathetic and alone.

"It’s just Yoongi, Namjoon," you sigh, your feet shifting nervously, "Why are you always so overprotective of me?"

Because I don’t want to lose you to someone else.

Because I am actually in love with you?

And the thought of you being with someone else pisses me the fuck off.

Those are phrases running through Namjoon’s mind as he struggles with this dilemma, but doesn’t have the guts to say to you or anyone for that matter. Didn’t Jihyo say to get his shit sorted out? He’s really fucking up by remaining complacent to his current lifestyle because he is scared of getting you hurt.

The honesty in your response strikes a chord in him, but his internal fights find expression as he admits, "I’m sorry. It’s just, there’s been a lot on my mind lately. I feel like I don’t really know you anymore."

You register Namjoon's words with a mix of surprise and concern, the air around you heavy with unspoken tension. It's a moment suspended in the confines of your car, and Namjoon feels the weight of his own admission.

"I mean, everything's changed since we got to college, and it's not just with relationships or whatever," Namjoon continues, his eyes drifting to the nostalgia-inducing surroundings of your high school parking lot. “And I just…I've noticed you acting differently, feeling distant from me and I don't know how to navigate that." Namjoon admits, a hint of vulnerability seeping into his voice. His gaze searches your face for a sign, a cue that would unravel the mystery behind your recent actions.

You remain quiet, your eyes reflecting a complexity that eludes him. He fears pushing too hard, sensing that any additional pressure might push you further away. The car feels heavy with internal thoughts, the music’s hum a backdrop to the charged atmosphere.

"I guess I've been feeling…alone," Namjoon continues, his fingers tracing an absent pattern on the boba cup. "And seeing you with Yoongi, Jimin, and everyone, it's like…like the pieces don't fit the way they used to."

Your eyes soften, registering the sincerity in his words. A sense of deja vu in his words from a similar feeling from nights ago that he doesn’t know. Yet, there's a hesitancy, a wall that has grown between you two, making Namjoon wonder if it's a chasm that can be bridged.

"I know it's not fair to expect things to stay the same. We're all changing, I get that," he confesses, the weight of unspoken sentiments settling in the space between you, "But it feels like I'm losing you."

The admission lingers in the air.

"I felt the same way, actually," you confess, the words breaking the heavy silence. “When you started to talking to Jihyo last year and then you two sleeping with each other, even when Jimin started to get more invested in his relationship with Irene… I was feeling so left out.”

Namjoon wasn’t aware you felt that way. He left you with Yoongi, because Yoongi was someone he trusted would protect you. He wasn’t sure if Yoongi liked you in a romantic sense, but then at some point, he became worried he could’ve changed his mind.

”But I had Yoongs with me, and while it was a rough few months, he was always there to save me from falling into a dark void.”

Namjoon remembers the first time you fell into that dark void. You had become close friends with Yeonjun during your senior year as you both competed to be in the top 10 of your graduating class. You then invited him as your date to Seokjung’s wedding to spite Namjoon who had brought a date himself. He didn’t think you two were seeing each other until he saw you two kiss in the garden outside the reception. For some reason, that sight tore his heartstrings and debunked his previous thoughts.

Then the day he had gone up to campus to help you move into the dorm was the day he decided to end things. He’s still not sure why. Though, Namjoon hated that fucker for deciding to do that right as you were starting your new life. Yoongi saw it happen and was the first to comfort you. Then him and Jimin rushed to your aid as they went to buy snacks to celebrate the move-in. Yeonjun was lucky he wasn’t going to the same college as you. Namjoon would’ve made his life a living hell until the kid dropped out or transferred.

”So please don’t feel that way Namjoon. You have me. You have Yoongi, Jimin, everyone in the house and even those not living there. You have Soyoon too.”

Soyoon. She was a nice girl, different from Jihyo and you. Against the norms and all for breaking boundaries in art. He relates to that. He could have fallen for her if his heart wasn’t deadset on you. It’s been that way for years and he didn’t want to keep running from you anymore. Soyoon was actually helping him find the chance to tell you.

Namjoon absorbs your words, his mind processing the layers of emotion and revelation that have unfolded in this unexpected conversation. The honesty you've shared lays bare the intricacies of your feelings, illuminating a side of your experience he hadn't fully comprehended.

"I appreciate you saying that, Y/N," Namjoon begins, his voice sincere. "I never realized the impact my actions had on you. I guess I was so caught up in my own struggles that I didn't see how it affected you."

Namjoon finds himself drawing closer to you, the subtle shift in his posture closing the physical distance between you two. He can feel the warmth radiating from your presence, a comfort that transcends words. In the quietude of shared history, he inches closer, his gaze locked onto your warm coffee eyes.

"You've always been my constant, Y/N," he murmurs, the sincerity in his voice threaded with vulnerability. "making me feel grounded when I become overwhelmed."

The words lingers in the small space between you, and as his eyes meet yours, there's an understanding. Namjoon's hand instinctively reaches up, fingers gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. The touch is tender, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken connection that has woven itself through the tapestry of your friendship.

A soft blush graces your cheeks, an involuntary reaction to the proximity that leaves Namjoon captivated by your charm. He finds your bashfulness endearing.

The air is charged with a different energy, one that goes beyond friendship and borders of emotions you can’t pinpoint. Yet, in this delicate dance of shared frustrations and questions, Namjoon chooses to tread carefully, aware that some feelings are better left unsaid for now. The car becomes a cocoon, shielding you both from the world outside, as the echoes of lost words reverberate in the uncharted space between friends.

"I think we should head back…" you say, breaking the subtle tension that had wrapped around you both. The vulnerability shared in this moment needs time to settle, and the familiar grounds of your past are safer than the uncharted territories you've inadvertently explored.

Namjoon nods, his hand gently retracting from its intimate proximity.

“Y-Yeah, definitely.” He stutters, which isn’t a common thing for him. You find that cute though.

The drive back to your neighborhood is filled with a comfortable silence, punctuated by the occasional shared laughter about random memories of this town you lived in. The tension seems to dissipate gradually, replaced by the comforting familiarity that defines your friendship.

Once you arrive back at your place, Namjoon remains seated for a moment, his gaze fixed on the steering wheel. "Thanks for today," he says, his tone carrying a mix of gratitude and contemplation.

"It was nice, Joon," you reply, your eyes meeting his briefly. The sentiments still linger, like shadows dancing on the periphery, but for now, anything outside this boundary remain untouched.

++++++++++++++

December 25th [Tuesday]

The days leading up to Christmas are packed with plans, with you bustling through holiday preparations. You find yourself going out more than usual, whether it's Christmas gift shopping with Yoongi for the guys or joining the late birthday dinner for Jin at his favorite local Koreatown BBQ place. Amidst the festivities, you occasionally run into Namjoon, sharing dinners with Mrs. Kim or your own family. The Sanctuary group chat keeps you entertained during the quieter moments.

Despite the festive busyness, there are times when you find yourself alone, lost in your thoughts. The echo of Namjoon's words hangs in the air, a revelation that caught you off guard. As you navigate through the hustle and bustle of the season, you can't help but confront the questions swirling in your mind.

A childish part of you feels a strange satisfaction knowing that Namjoon experienced the same loneliness he unwittingly subjected you to earlier in the semester. Yet, there's a deeper, more somber emotion beneath the surface. Each sigh you let out seems to spawn more questions than answers. What are you even doing right now, playing with your own heart while sleeping with your own best friends? You feel like you’re wasting their time and feelings as well. Another thought lingers in your mind: What if, in the midst of all this, you realize you had feelings for Namjoon all along? What’s going to happen then?

"Y/N? Did you want some of the treats my dad made?" Jihyun's voice breaks through your thoughts, and you glance up to find Jimin's younger brother peering at you. Embarrassment flushes your cheeks; you forgot you're at Jimin's house for Christmas. Losing yourself in contemplation in public and getting caught feels mortifying. You realize you need to figure things out soon.

"Jihyun! Sorry, I was lost in thought," you apologize, the embarrassment evident in your voice. "I'll take the blueberry scone! Thank you." The younger boy smiles, handing you the pastry with a napkin. As he continues offering treats to others in the house, you marvel at the holiday spirit that envelopes Jimin's home.

The living room, adorned with twinkling lights and holiday decorations, seems to come alive with excitement. Plush cushions and throws add a cozy touch to the seating arrangement. Jimin's mom, still in the kitchen, contributes to the festive atmosphere with her cheerful hums and the clinking of utensils. The aroma of holiday spices wafts through the air, creating a comforting and welcoming environment. It's a perfect setting for friends to gather and celebrate the joyous season.

"So January 19, we’re going camping?" Taehyung words catch onto your radar in the midst of you looking around at the decor.

"Huh? What? Camping?" You blurt out in surprise, prompting a sigh from Taehyung. You need to stop spacing out.

"Yeah, camping. We’ve talked about this before!" Jungkook exclaims, his eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. "Taehyung wants us to go on a frat retreat."

"Oh, well, sorry, I’ve had a lot on my mind before, so I didn’t know," you reply, your gaze shifting to Yoongi and Jimin, who exchange unreadable glances. They quickly look away when you catch them.

"It’s gonna be us, but if you want to invite your lady friends, you can." Jin comments, taking a sip of his spiced tea with a contented smile.

"Uh, sure, I can invite Hwasa, Jieun, Soohyun, and Soyoon—" You pause, a sudden awareness of Namjoon's secret rendezvous with Soyoon making you hesitate. Unsure if it's appropriate to invite her, you choose your words carefully.

It seems Namjoon has similar thoughts, and he responds, "That’s a fine group." Maybe he had already discussed it with her. The realization hits you: why are you only finding out about this camping trip now?

"Then it’s settled! We’re going camping!" Hoseok yelps in excitement, wrapping his arms around Tae and Jungkook. The room buzzes with energy, filled with the anticipation.

However you can't shake the worry gnawing at your thoughts.

As the evening unfolds, you contemplate the upcoming camping trip, wondering if it will provide answers or only deepen the complexities within your friend group.

tbc :O a/n: we've made it halfway through!!! YAY! we finally got namjoon's perspective in here. camping chapter is up next! that will be loosely based on an irl experience i had going on an MT TRIP with my club back in college!! smack down in the winter during those 3 day weekends we get in january/february. Anyone have any thoughts or theories? i'd love to heart about them so lmk hehehe thank you all for reading!

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

captain-dh linked to a fundraiser for Avi, the daughter of a close friend who is five years old and was just diagnosed with Granulomatous Mycosis Fungoides, a rare form of lymphoma. It is especially rare in children and incurable; she will need lifelong care. You can read more and support the fundraiser here. (On a personal note this is close to my heart -- I also have mycosis fungoides, though I'm lucky that mine is considered in remission. I can confirm what's in the gofundme regarding treatment for most presentations of the disease.)

potatoshoe linked to deliriumcrow and cipheramnesia, who lost their house in a fire and were then scammed by the contractor they hired, resulting in further damage to their house. They are raising money to pay for repairs from both the fire and the contractor; you can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Eli is a disabled Michigander who cares for their elderly grandmother; they are applying for SSDI, but their car was damaged recently and is undrivable, with an $800 charge just for a diagnostic. They are living paycheck to paycheck and can't afford repairs; they're raising funds to cover the diagnostic and tow, and eventually the full repair. You can read more and reblog here or give at the gofundme here.

idiomagic's husband's company just went under with no warning, leaving them with no income and no severance pay; she is disabled but has not been able to qualify for assistance, and they are looking at bills arriving before unemployment does. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

poignardrose is a college student from the Philippines, studying away from her family, and her parents are unexpexctedly unable to support her education; she is in mounting debt and facing eviction from her dorm in her last semester of college. She's raising funds to repair her laptop so she can do her schoolwork and find a remote job that will help her pay rent, and to fund the remainder of her schooling. You can read more, reblog, and support the fundraiser here.

highlander_ii is moving cross country next month, and needs help covering that in order not to wipe out her savings completely; she's raising about $1K for costs, and you can read more and find giving information here or give directly via paypal.

queerdo-mcjewface is raising funds for incarcerated penpal Shine White, who has been moved out of solitary but needs hygiene products and is trying to acquire new books for ongoing learning; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here or purchase books from his wishlist here.

Buy Stuff, Help Out:

Anon linked to thelittlestpersimmon/Caleb, an artist who is offering commissions in return for $80+ donations to Palestinian causes. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

Anon linked to mxwhore, who is splitting their Patreon commissions between Care for Gaza and Techo Chile, to help the ongoing crisis in Chile. You can read more and reblog here or (please note, the following link has an 18+ banner on it; minors should not click) support the patreon here

Recurring Needs:

Anon linked to a fundraiser for a friend whose family has not had a working furnace since November; they've been using space heaters to keep warm but January in Chicago has been brutal and the space heaters aren't sufficient. With vulnerable family members including elderly relatives and children in the home, they need to raise $6K to get the furnace replaced. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Anon linked to karla-hoshi or Hoshi on TikTok, who is raising funds for cancer treatment for her cat Naku; they caught the cancer early and hope that he can survive it. You can read more and support the fundraiser here, as well as find links to her updates on tiktok.

chingaderita's partner's family house recently caught fire and completely burned, killing his grandmother and causing extensive property loss; he has also recently lost his job due to the fire, and a number of family members have since become ill. They're raising funds to keep food on the table, to try and get a supply of water to keep clean and do laundry, and for various bills. You can read more, reblog, and support the fundraiser here.

forlorn-kumquat is raising funds to get seating and storage for their third-grade classroom, to help their students learn comfortably. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[galilleon]

Hey all, This is my first Tumblr post ever! I'm pretty new here, but I'm hoping to share some DM techniques, tools and tips and to make some new friends as well! Feel free to send a chat request (an ask[?]) if you're interested!

With that aside, on with the post!

Better and More Meaningful Random Encounters!

Random encounters are a staple of DnD, they are expected to be there during exploration as a way to make the world feel alive, to have it have an aura of adventure and danger, to eat up party resources and put pressure on the PCs to make interesting and important choices, and also as a way for a DM to reasonably 'stall' the party with a quick and easy situation.

Usually, it ends up something like this:

There's just one problem with most random encounter tables though, it's so easy for them to be GOSHDARN BORING! Especially for a newer DM.

Making them interesting becomes gambled improv on the DM's part if they're not used to it, and it's hard to keep track of the important factors that need to be kept in mind

Luckily, I ended up finding a great source for random encounters from 'Dungeon Masterpiece' on YouTube, and I integrated it into my own DMing. I figured that I'd share it here for any that want to work it into their own sessions as well!

After adjustment, a single table can account for multiple entire sessions of in-depth worldbuilding and fun without getting dull!

Sources:

Source 1 (Creating interesting Random Encounter Tables):

Source 2 (Making Random Encounters reflect your Worldbuilding):

There's 4 major methods we can use to improve the Random Encounter table

1. Make the table a straight 1dx roll.

2. Adding 'depth'.

3. Adding meaningful encounters.

4. Prerolling and/or Multirolling.

You can also check out the "Where to Start?" section for some direction to make getting it down and prepped all easy peasy!

1. Straight Roll:

Its enticing to go for 2d6 or the such in order to add non-linearity to the rolls, but these sorts of adjustments only end up making one or two encounters extremely likely and leave all others in the dust, it often ends up defeating it's own purpose of interesting randomness.

In the previous example, it was extremely likely to only get Wolves, Barbarians, Orcs, or Spiders, from a table of 12! A straight roll would serve us much better. The rare rolls are already rare enough as is!

Simply enough, adjusting the original example by replacing the 2d6 with 1d12, it'd become something more like this:

#2. Adding Depth:

We can add more columns in the encounter tables. These columns will represent different aspects about the encounters that we can roll on separately!

Usually it can be difficult as a DM to naturally come up with motives for the encounters, showcase the worldbuilding and have it all come together.

This setup can give you a solid guideline on how the creatures/people think (if any), and also sets up the overall area so that you get an idea of what events tend to occur there as a result of its occupants. 

We want to add 3 more columns to the tables to convey different aspects of the encounter. Fill in these new columns corresponding to the expectations of each encounter.

We'll roll each of these and combine them, then we'll interpret them to make a robust, in-depth random encounter with truly unexpected results!

I recommend rolling alot of complete encounters at once and interpreting the context to the vast general area the party is travelling in.

i. Behaviour: How the creatures act. Are they friendly, scared, aggressive, curious, mischievous?

ii. Complication: Something behind the scenes in the encounter. Do they have sick young? Broken equipment? Are they starving?

iii. Significant Impact: This is a tick box, and will only be present under ONE of the rows. It will be rolled like the other columns, but ONLY once. It signifies which encounter is the Significant Encounter

The Significant Encounter will have its encounter's presence prominent amongst all the other random encounters in the area. There could be burn marks and carcasses from a rampant dragon, or a goblin raid leaving tracks moving through the area. Which is the most impactful of the different encounters?

Adding this to our previous example would expand it to:

Rolling this would give us things like:

Significant encounter: Owlbears

Note that the significant impact shows that the Owlbears are a massive problem in the area. Perhaps the Owlbears are agitated for an unknown reason, and are unnecessarily aggressive.

The significance of Owlbears gives us context to the second one as well! Perhaps the hunters raided an Owlbear den, and adopted an Owlbear cub from there as well.

There could be uneaten carcasses, ravaged trees, less wildlife, etc around these parts.

Note how much sheer CONTEXT these columns add to our encounters. It's invaluable!

3. Adding Meaningful Encounters

Usually random encounters tend to be rather mundane and very one-note.

There's usually some general wildlife and monsters, different disparate factions without any rhyme or reason, and maybe a general non-combat encounter or two, but these don't really tell us about the area or its surroundings at all by themselves.

Instead, we can add in wildlife and monster encounters specific to the biome, non-combat encounters, and encounters of nearby factions and/or settlements to the table, and we can even add environmental encounters in there as well.

Note that we're not tied down to 12 encounters, and can expand it ad infinitum according to our need of diversity in our encounters.

Just add in specification and connection, and suddenly the dominos all fall into place.

Lastly, we'll also be adding in 'DOUBLE TIME' which will let us roll on everything twice, and make it so it's a double encounter!

Thus, the table can instead be adjusted to:

Note how each and everything has its relation in one way or another, but through the sheer variance, they remain truly random and novel.

4. Prerolling and/or Multirolling

Lastly and this is just something that I do, but that I found gamechanging. Be sure to pre-roll 5-7 encounters for each session, for the general area the players are going to be headed in.

Note that you don't need to really prep anything at all, just interpret all of them on a surface level as a buffer.

Also note that you don't need to use all of them if they're not needed. The foreshadowing and signs are worldbuilding and having secrets that the players don't unravel is just as useful as the ones that they do, perhaps even moreso. It adds depth and detail beyond the scope of what the party will encounter

It simply let's you get an idea of the connections between encounters, allows for foreshadowing, and acts as a deterrent to getting caught off guard.

Even if you roll mid-session, I recommend calling for a 5 minute break, rolling 5-7 encounters at the same time and interpreting them and their connections before resuming the session.

It WILL make a difference, trust me

Where to start?

It can be difficult getting inspiration or direction to get started in creating these random encounters, and sometimes you don't want to go through the hassle of thinking them up from nothing

For some great conceptual headstarts and examples for these tables, you can check out 'Worlds Without Number' and it's:

- Page 205 (Great general templates for encounters differentiated by broad creature types such as Beasts and Monsters, Sapient Monsters, and Humans)

- Pages 206-219 (For inspired locations to occasionally run rare encounters or groups of encounters in. This works best with flexible/discovered worldbuilding given the significance of some of these, and you also want to add these in sparingly to keep them significant)

- Pages 246-247 (These pages have great templates for the kinds of encounters and situation to be included in the tables, and it can be expanded vastly, and certain options can be selectively and repeatedly chosen to meet our needs. Mood works well as a complication.)

There might be other pages that are useful as well for these sorts of random encounters in the wilderness that I haven't come across yet. If so, give them a shout out and I'll be sure to add them in. It's worth checking it out in its entirety for some great tips!

Conclusion

Again, credit goes to Dungeon Masterpiece and Worlds Without Number for excellent adjustments. This has been quite long, but I hope you stuck around till the end.

Many a session have been made easy but complex ever since this was introduced and I hope that this helps you out as much as it helped me in my prep and improv!

Feel free to give any advice in formatting on Tumblr, or any feedback on the post itself. It really means a lot to me, thanks!

[gaoau]

Mirror Mirage

Dive, sink, drown back in time.

pairing — Lu Guang x gn!reader word count — 1.6k

Sand slipping through the minimal space between the fingers; bricks replacing the marrow of the bones; madness and sanity, coherence and nonsense. People exist chained to numbers going in circles endlessly, round and round and round. Those who obey the passage of time, and those who rebel against its confinements. Citizens and criminals—or rather, regulars and murderers. Time is a fleeting permanence.

Rules are created to keep order, balance, peace, life. To disrupt them, ignore them, forget them means to end harmony and wreck existence. Do not change events in the past, for it shall destroy the present. Simple, incomprehensible; either way, the most important rule of life. Allow things to flow however nature properly dictates it, intervene as little as possible or not at all.

Time is incredibly fragile, yet so unbelievably sturdy. In study halls and waiting rooms, it becomes thick, hefty; it is present, it takes the lead, time keeps everything and everyone grounded in a locked box. Lu Guang witnesses first-hand the way it weighs on [Name]. They're paying close attention to their teacher as she rambles on and on and on. He isn't, he's watching them.

The sands of time seem to blow against their eyes, blinding them with haze and tiredness. The seconds carve themselves onto their skin, filling in the gestures when they struggle to understand. Their gaze flickers briefly towards him; a mere moment, yet so lengthy. Lu Guang sees it all.

He's one to follow the rules presented by the universe—he knows of their existence, he knows of their purpose, he knows not to break them. He reminds Xiaoshi to not disrupt them with stupid impulses in his emotions. He is careful and responsible as he holds delicate life between his fingers.

Unlike him, time is a responsibility [Name] doesn't assume—he figures that's why it hits them a billion times harder.

Rarely, however not impossibly, there exist places where time thins out into nothing but an insignificant strand of hair. Anywhere from empty parking lots to 24-hour convenience stores. [Name] takes advantage of these cracks, these openings, these flickering phenomenons where the past overlaps with the present. They slip right into them to destroy all they know as it is today.

They're one to dance around the rules imposed on them—they know of their existence, they care not about their purpose, they ignore their importance. It's fun, it's thrilling, and it puts food on their plate every time another clock shatters. They choose who to ruin while remaining unharmed as they cut the cord for others.

Lu Guang catches sight of their sparkling gaze and radiant complexion in the night. When there are too many stars to keep track of, time holds the least amount of power. It doesn't hit [Name] at all.

He glares as they leap back and forth between the now and the yesterday. One second they're gone for an entire two weeks and a half, the next hour they return within five days of a minute. Every time, they greet Lu Guang with a childlike grin.

"You shouldn't play with time so carelessly," he advises. It falls on deaf ears, for they're gone to December of a decade ago.

They reappear to his left, behind a pillar in an abandoned construction site. They hand him a souvenir—discontinued in this day and age. He frowns. Before he can reinforce his scolding, [Name] retorts, "Who says I'm playing?" A chuckle sounds as it flutters towards the moon. "Sports are a game, but still a job."

On the news, reports of happy lives turning upside down in an instant, overnight, without sense flood the channels. Lu Guang downs his coffee as he considers calculating the impossible, reaching results of two plus two summing up to a billion and five. Successful men reduced to bankruptcy, powerful women thrown off their throne, people left and right losing a realized existence to an inexplicable car crash. Events that shouldn't happen, but they do.

Disrupting the past means obliterating the present. Most commonly known as the butterfly effect: a mere ant changing its course may bring empires to their doom. He wonders if [Name] knows what they're doing—of course they do, and that is why they continue to do it.

When they meet him for coffee—hours after class but before they can slip into the past through a malfunction in the frame—Lu Guang doesn't want to believe they are the cause of all these misfortunes. Time breaks where it's forcefully torn apart. "So this is your job?" he begins, stare deadpan and inexpressive. [Name] freezes at his sharp words stabbing through their chest and crushing their lungs. Lu Guang continues in a flat sentence, "Messing up the pa—No. Destroying the present is your job?"

They force out a bitter chuckle. They pretend to not be burning up inside and outside. Their reflection in their drink distorts itself with the quivering of their hand. "It's more than that; it's worse than that."

Lu Guang leans into the table to try and find their gaze. They refuse to meet him as they turn their head away from him. "What do you do, [Name]?" he speaks between a sigh and dreadful firmness. He emphasizes his syllables too much for comfort.

With their cup pressed against their lips, [Name] manages an excuse in the shape of a mumble, "I play God." Lu Guang scrutinizes their rotten words through narrowed eyes. "I'm the ant that destroys empires." They finish their coffee before he decides to give up on glaring into their soul. He doesn't understand what they mean and they aren't willing to admit their criminal deeds. The issue is dropped by the time they flee for summer of half a century ago.

Time breaks where it's forcefully torn apart. Time requires constant stimulation in the proper places to continue its cycle of opening up and overlapping wherever chance dictates it. [Name] slips through a gap they find by coincidence or by fate, then they slice the same gap wide open once more to ensure their return to their present. If the space sews itself back up, the stitches shall forever remain closed. Although [Name] can't confirm any of their hypotheses, they aren't willing to test them out. As long as they can set off the events that shall satisfy their clients and later find their place where they rightfully belong, all is fine.

An ant may turn left to allow an empire to thrive. It may also turn right to bring it to its knees. It may as well march forward to let it exist in mediocrity. Whichever path the ant may choose, they can all be overwritten if so it's desired. [Name] plays with the cause and effect of events already set in stone; they carve new engravings on pieces of brick to replace what has already been decided. Dangerous gambles produce disastrous outcomes.

Time is thin in bathrooms in the middle of the night. Lu Guang flicks the light on at something past three in the morning. There's a haze of thick tiredness hanging over his eyes, but he cannot get a wink of sleep no matter how hard he tries. He splashes water over his face to give his mind a chance to find clarity somewhere in a refreshment. When he stares at the mirror above the sink, he's wide awake with energy of alert spiking his every nerve. Eyes closed, breaths even, basking in the sleep that has long escaped his grasp, his reflection slumbers peacefully in [Name]'s arms. He shoots a fleeting glance behind his shoulder to make sure they haven't broken into his place. He turns back to his dormant reflection and can't distinguish whether the droplets trailing down his face are the water from earlier or a nervous sweat.

He glares into their downcast eyes. The smile they wear blurs the line between painful and comforting. Their hands settle on his shoulders and Lu Guang can almost feel their touch through the reversed image the mirror offers back. His reflection is safe in their hold and [Name] is there, but not with him on this side—on the right side.

"If anything," they begin unprompted, "I did it because of you."

Lu Guang frowns on defensive instinct. "I didn't ask you to do anything."

They chuckle. It sounds so distorted, travelling through solid time and space and not through the air like it's supposed to. "I know, but I couldn't help myself. I can't imagine a present without you again." Their choice of words tears him apart.

"Do you think I can imagine one without you?"

"You won't have to put in that effort. You'll just have to get used to it."

Lu Guang falls silent. Sorrow shall morph into indifference overtime. At the same time a scar fades, the body grows closer to death. Time heals all wounds but it also makes it so no more wounds may happen. What a cursed thing the tick-tock of the numbers truly is.

Ever-so-softly, they speak up again with a trembling tone, "You always look so tired." The touch of their thumbs ghosts underneath the closed eyes of his reflection. He thinks he can feel their warmth breaking up through his skin. "Get some rest, yeah?" He closes his own eyes, knowing the most he can do is nod along with their demands.

By the time he dares open them up again, all that's left of [Name] is a whisper of their words in the form of resilience. His reflection blinks back at him. He decides not to find them.

—あごす (agosu) • 2021

[henrysglock]

Henry is 7 — Unloved Boys, Killer Parents, and Non-Linear Time.

I'm not sure how many of us out there are up to date on our "media that features Captain Midnight" lore, but tonight I want to talk about Jeffty is Five, a short story by Harlan Ellison, as it relates to Henry Creel circa 1952.

Jeffty Kinzer and his best friend, Donny, were five. They were huge comic book fans, especially of Captain Midnight. But then Jeffty was five, and Donny was seven. After that, Jeffty was five and Donny was fourteen. You see where I'm going with this, no? Jeffty is perpetually five years old.

Because of his peculiarity, his parents resent him.

Jeffty's mother, Leona, specifically, dislikes him most...to the point she wishes he'd died as a baby.

Jeffty, for his part, is a good kid, despite the barely-hidden dislike he's shown. He has a secret hideout under the porch of his house, where he draws, reads comics, and listens to radio shows.

There's something strange about Jeffty, though (aside from the not-aging, and specifically linked to his not-aging). He can bring new pieces of the past into the future. Discontinued radio shows have new episodes, discontinued comics have new issues, and new merch is made for shows that no longer exist.

Specifically, Ellison writes about Jeffty bringing a brand-new Captain Midnight Secret Decoder Code-O-Graph into the future:

Donny talks about how living these new-past experiences via Jeffty thins the membrane between worlds, between Past and Present.

There's a problem, though. Exposing Jeffty to the Present eats away at him. In an attempt to hurry Jeffty away from the Present, Donny sends him off by himself to get tickets for the movie they're meant to see. Along the way, Jeffty gets roughed up by some older teens. Instead of taking him to a hospital, Donny takes him home to his parents.

Spotting the chance to take back a normal life and live in the present...Leona kills Jeffty in the family bathtub, playing present-day rock music over the radio.

Now, something I was struggling to answer in my big Time Loop Post was the question of "What happened in 1952, when Henry was 7?"

Jeffty, Joseph and Joseph, Henry and Henry: Changelings

Jeffty's now-grown friend, Donny, misses the way things were in the '50s, when he and Jeffty were little. He'd like things to go back to the way they were...

...and he gets that through Jeffty's time-bending powers.

Jeffty has a hideaway spot in his family home where he hides away from his resentful, fearful mother to draw, read comics, and listen to the radio:

Jeffty, whose mother wishes he'd died as a baby because he's precluding her from having a "normal" life...

And who killed him in a bathtub.

Another detail to add—Patty asks Henry if he isn't a little old to be as obsessed as he is with Captain Midnight, as if being a fan is something for little kids.

I'd like, then, to put this is all in concert with:

The Creel-Carmichael parallels per Changeling (1980), wherein Joseph, a disabled boy who's resented by his father, Richard, is locked away in his attic. Richard drowns Joseph in a bathtub at age 6, and replaces him with a "normal" boy. This "normal" boy is mostly convinced he's the real Joseph Carmichael until the end of the movie.

2. Em's Doppleganger TFS Henry theory (which suggests that at some point Henry was replaged with a dopple-gorgon who almost believes he's the real Henry Creel). 3. Em's post about Before I Wake (wherein a little boy drowns in a bathtub and is replaced by a new boy with strange abilities). 4. (A post I have yet to make, regarding) Parallels between ST and the show Servant, wherein a new mother accidentally kills her newborn son, Jericho, by forgetting him in a locked car during a heatwave. She's given a hyperrealistic baby-doll as a replacement in order to cope, which their nanny Leanne magically transforms into a real baby boy. ST5's code name is Jericho, and other parallel to the series include (but are not limited to): psychic powers, spiders, stalker cults, murderous yet somehow well-meaning nannies, and giant cracks opening up in the earth (psionically).

Thus, my hypothesis: I wonder if we aren't dealing with a matryoshka-doll-meets-Fringe type situation, wherein Henry died/was killed at age 7, was replaced by or swapped for another boy (like Peter Bishop...staring directly at Peter Owens/Peter Ballard) via the 1979/1952 incident, and then was swapped again with a doppleganger via the 1956 gate.

[maneaterwithtail]

Did Elf Senshi Change or Not

Figured post character development, at the least result of red dragon, use his mithril knife. Maybe tear clothes to make cloth shield

I realize the gag is supposed to make him super duper p**** looking While still committing to the same bit of just standing there and being archetypical even to a goofy degree just elegant Alf as opposed to doofy dwarf

The problem is you have to turn off every other aspect of his personality and behavior in order to get the gag to work to the extreme it goes to

And as even more so in the episodic presentation but especially what came before you figure he would be all about committing himself to a pragmatic solution for his current predicament and group utility.

OK sure not carrying his PAN because it's too heavy for him. so why isn't he carrying anything else that can cook or keep food abd provide safety with or make sure he's armed because he definitely knows how dangerous the dungeon is and how critical it is to have some sort of tool in order to affect violence that might be necessary for living

Contrast and compare say how he introduced the golems to how he's handling the gargoils

Now it's understandable, the gargoyles are new and the golems are known and familiar

And it was pointed out he has a tendency to use his weapons in such a way that he runs them down as opposed to keeps them in the best condition. the exception being his cooking implements which he treasures immensely which might be due to his own single focus on cooking or the fact that you know they're ancestral keepsakes from the closest thing he has to family and the only property he's probably had most of his life

Which is strike 2 on the whole him just leaving the PAN behind because he's kept it with him for literally decades at this point so it's too heavy that's why I left it seems an odd decision (empty and all carrying make more sense)

Having his knife on hand makes perfect sense because a knife is incredibly practical tool that you can use in a variety of situations that are likely to come up especially in combat exploration or survival situations

To be fair that is a knife that he seems to reserve almost exclusively for elements of cooking or at least did until the dragon situation. So naturally at this time it should be readily available for him. Especially as he's just recommitted himself utterly and completely to the good of the group.

And the previous incident had him more or less coming clean and being more open.

so if the issue is " I don't know how to fight without my normal strength and tools" you think he would express this at some point to his leader so that that way he's prepared or ask what to do next when it comes up.

The implication is when he's been Blunt before yes he is doing so but it's also with an unspoken level of communication based on instruction and cooperation such as the incident with the shiki Gami

There 3 members of the party effectively coordinated an attack that was able to come together. With the implication that if not exactly planned this, he knew how to act in conjunction with his friends

Again all of this disappears when he becomes an elf. he apparently loses all sense of unity with the party that he's remarkably been able to work alongside and definitely has been developing this rapport about

He doesn't communicate critical information that would be relevant to ongoing practical concerns nor is he prepared for a likely upcoming practical concern

And he betrays his own limited Arbitrary but established stubbornness such as With regards to keep sakes or sticking to a certain lifestyle or collection even if it's Deviant from his race or others expectation

Simply put Senshi has been surviving in the dungeon on practical terms for very good reasons for a very long time.

I can understand why for instance he could walk around with a broken axe until he got to the point where he could replace it either from a corpse or earning enough coin to go into town and buy one

I could understand for instance him leaving his equipment in one place and then coming back to it later if believe it's critical for his own safety or recovery

None of these apply here and more importantly the party knowing it's roles and how to be armed and what to expect is absolutely critical. so much so that this first off not being taken care of in a passport or between scene is already a bit dubious. We see scenes of them dressing and of them basically rearranging to the circumstances as they are

For instance it makes sense to me that Marcel fired a magic shot even though she doesn't have as much in the tank. it's established very early on how much she is all about and prides herself on magic as well as can often overlook practical concerns and practice and also the realities of things that she might know intellectually but is unfamiliar with in practice.

That's in fact her very constant gag! Though they definitely find new ways to explore that. just the previous episode, for instance, in terms of making familiars As well as designing how to maximize their use

So she keeps hold of her staff, because that's her item. the only one experienced in order to use it especially now, and she instinctively uses too much magic because that's her first instinct at almost all times but then due to a recent disability she has not adjusted to she's taken out of the fight as a direct result

The same as when lios tires out in mid fight. he's gotten used to the strength. so he naturally assumes that that's going to come with stamina only to realize, especially in a fight, that's not the case. but he's only recently had this body and recently addressed its physical realities and this is the first major physical confrontation he's had.

but note he still has armor and he still has a weapon

Chilchuk - I think this is missing in the actual episode z but he just comments how weird his senses feel and when he sticks to his normal strategy of run like hell and hide in a corner. it doesn't work explicitly because he's so big and probably draws greater agro now or nit used to running in this body with these senses

It also makes sense he doesn't compensate for it. he's been established as someone who doesn't regularly fight. the one skill in fighting he's started to establish as firing arrows. I don't think he actually had the bow and Arrows available. and he was up against Stone monsters this time. so understandably didn't even bother to try. especially in a situation that was unfamiliar to him. he's been established as - I don't want to say cowardly but definitely does not stick his neck out unless he absolutely has to though he will try to save someone if they are in danger **which is something we actually see him do**

Nstsumi has a tendency to go on a bit of a feral attack given Traits of animal instincts as a result of her own modification. Hers is arguably the biggest change but 1, she is less established so there is more leeway. 2, we are literally given a reason for it right when it happens. new animal, new instincts. so she doesn't know how to control or respond to them. So she has to be worked around on that level. It's a major change but it's also a major change that's the focus on the scene and folks working on it

But Senshi's there's this major change but then he says there isn't one which doesn't hold up. To be fair he did do the " stand there and look hot "during a battle one time. specifically the Fallon chimera. but even that 1 kind of made sense, because there were Multiple other fighters and he did have a strategy at hand.

'Appease the leader who was threatening the group by having the meal prepared.' it was a weird strategy but again it falls within the 2 sort of obsessions that he's known for and sticks to stubbornly.

Also the threat before then was that the mixed party would basically start fighting each other and in fact a fight had nearly broken out before the chimera attack and he was already doing that so he just didn't change course in order to attack what was already being addressed or at the very least stay out of the way so that he didn't ruin the one strategy he did have when the very attack ran the risk of reigniting interparty conflict

It was certainly Blunt and stubborn and arbitrary but it wasn't thoughtless or Without group concern.

So yeah I do think the transformation in terms of practical effect had way more of a change than I think even he is willing to admit. To be Fair reading his diary versus watching him in a narrative you get the sense yeah you get inside on what he's thinking but you also realize the way he's thinking doesn't necessarily reflect all that's true even in regard to just himself

As an example, the entire hypogriff soup entry is remarkably very truncated and doesn't explain a lot of what's going on

In fact they're surprisingly amount of stuff he glosses over in terms of what he thinks of as relevant or worth noting or reminding himself about

Which hits at a much more mired or thick headed psyche than one might think as opposed to project a deeper wiser one.

[tgrailwar-zero]

Not really? Our physical body got wrecked a long time ago. We’re actually just voices given a humanoid shape by the Freyr. After we lost the Origin War we got sent into an endless repeating loop of holy grail wars and mindwiped over 6 billion times. Not to mention, I’m not even sure how much of The Interlopers was actually us and not just pre-programmed gunk considering our robotic nature back then.

Think of it like a computer where you replaced all the hardware after smashing it with a hammer, wiped the hard drive and software until it was dust and you had to buy a new one, and started it up again in an entirely different spot then last time. We got glimpse of memories in a dream, we were the ones trapped in their tomb, and we do feel responsible for their actions. So legally and morally, yeah, we’re The Interlopers.

Though we go by Patchwork Gestalt now.

DURYODHANA: "Alright then."

DURYODHANA: "Nope, he's dead. But that's part of why I called you here... alright, I'll only say this once, so listen up."

He cleared his throat, beginning to pace a bit, clearly preparing himself to be speaking for quite some time.

'I was summoned near the back end of the Origin War. Not by any official systems, but in the aftermath of where my Karna and that Arjuna had fought and ravaged the land. It was apparently one of the most grand battles of the Origin War, the two Archers putting everything they had against one another. Nobody knew who the 'victor' was. Some called it a stalemate with them destroying each other.'

'Anyways, I suppose the concept of a 'deadly clash between Pandava and Kaurava' and the dense magic in the land was a suitable catalyst. Maybe it was something else. Luck? Fate? Who knows. My Karna was already gone, but I figured I had to have been called for some purpose, so I began wandering.'

'When I found him... when I found Arjuna, he was already beginning to fade away. Whatever skill he had been surviving off of wasn't enough, he was starving himself of mana. Self-inflicted penance, if I know Arjuna at all. As soon as I arrived, he started talking. I didn't even have to ask. Frankly, I wasn't going to, but I guess he had something to say and he'd be damned if he vanished without saying it.'

'He spilled everything. How his mind had been taken by a dark curse, and the same had happened for his allies. How he had said and done unforgivable things in the name of a monster that his divine father had put his all into challenging. How his heart would never know peace, that sort of thing. Apparently, Karna had struck him with such a destructive blow that it served to temporarily shake whatever curse was on his mind and body, and he returned to reason. With that, he had tricked his Masters into using all three Command Spells on him in order to finish off Karna, and then- now that they had no formal power over him, he went into hiding. And, once he told me everything, he stated that he'd simply let himself fade away as penance. So I'd guessed right, because if there's one thing about the Pandava, they're predictable.'

'…With that lore dump dropped on me, I started to leave. Clearly he was dealing with his own stuff and it wasn't my problem. But he stopped me before I could leave his little pity cave to ask a favor.'

'He had discarded something important. That, if his Masters proved themselves worthy, could collect and assist them on their journey of redemption, if that's the path they chose to take. If they didn't, then it'd simply remain in stasis. Simple as that. He wanted me to guide them to that item. That if they ever broke free from 'his' curse and could enact justice, then it was rightfully theirs. He wanted me to lead you to it, since he wouldn't be able to.'

'I very reasonably asked, 'Why would I ever help you?' which I think is a fair question. We weren't exactly friends after all. I didn't owe him squat.'

'He responded, 'You don't have to do it for me, but you're a Heroic Spirit, and that monster is still out there. So please, I implore you, help me leave at least one legacy in this world that isn't darkened by violence. Be the hope for them that I couldn't be. Be the hero I was unworthy of being.''

'…'And if that's not enough, Karna gave his everything to protect this place for the sake of ending that monster. So if not for me, then for him.''

DURYODHANA: "Talk about a cheap shot. Though considering this is Arjuna we're talking about, 'cheap shots involving Karna' are his trademark."

'Still... At that point, I knew he was desperate. Entrusting his hopes and dreams to me? His legacy, to me? Me, his enemy? The man was so damn earnest that I didn't have much of a response to that one, so I agreed to his terms. He laid out everything, I committed it to memory, and then I left him to whatever fate he decided for himself.'

DURYODHANA: "...That's the long and short of it. I figured if I used one of Arjuna's epithets, it'd eventually lead you to me. Plus, it didn't hurt to hear a bunch of people singing my praises like that. But I still don't know if you're 'worthy', and I figured this was a good enough chance. If you can't win this tournament, then what hope do you have to beating that freak in the Moon Cell?"

MUSASHI: "Oh, Archer..."