#but they're obsessed with each other all the same like you know the drill

[hedwig221b]

Thinking about my wip

[stellas-and-tonitruses]

Everything we know about Project Apple (and, by extension, Anya's past) thus far

thought i'd compile all of that now while endo's on break Just In Case the next chapter happens to start anya's backstory (i don't Think it will but endo likes surprising us LSDFKLFS)

important disclaimer that project apple and the organization in charge of anya's experiments have not been confirmed to be related! there's evidence that they have things in common, in particular employees, but that's our only real connection between the two thus far. still! worth looking into

more under the cut!

so, starting very strongly with the very first mention of anything related to the project: anya's introduction in chapter 1

despite her being a main character, we know very little about her past at the moment, and this little blurb at the beginning makes up a very big portion of what we know.

things to note here:

as an experiment, her name was "Test Subject 007". important to note that the notation differs between her and bond: she was Test Subject 007, bond was Subject 8, no zeroes in there;

she had been made thus by accident, the phrasing itself implying quite heavily that she was just a normal child before said accident (but this is the translation! i don't know japanese so i can't cross-reference with the raws to clarify if the phrasing changes anything, but the fanbook uses the word "gained" to describe her powers too);

because her mind-reading is an unintended consequence, that means the scientists were presumably not, at least initially, trying to achieve cognitive enhancements in humans, and were instead trying to achieve something else, whatever that might've been;

she escaped from the facility and then moved from institution to institution, looking for a family.

so, crucially, through this little introduction we learn that there is an organization, government-funded or otherwise, that is or was conducting human experiments for unknown purposes. we also learn that whatever family anya had prior to being involved in the experiments is more than likely unreachable, at least as far as she knows, and so she has settled for finding a new family to take care of her instead.

in terms of the facility itself, here we see they clearly drilled it into her that she can't ever reveal her secret (and the darn plush is there too -- in the anime it's even more emphasized, as you can see in the gif i made)

through her reminiscing though, we get our very first look at the scientists that were in charge of her! they're in the gif above but here they are in the manga too. it's so interesting that the anime actually shows their eyes behind the glasses though, fascinating choice.

the insistence on world peace is important, as it explains her own personal obsession with it and shows that it's not just because of twilight's own focus on preserving the peace. i also don't think twilight ever really talks about "world peace," only about "preserving the current peace between westalis and ostania" -- anya seems to be the only one talking about WORLD peace (even in the very first scene where either of them mention it in proximity to each other in ch 1, loid says "understanding the other party is the first step towards peace" and anya's interpretation is "understanding me makes world peace?") but take this with a grain of salt because i might be wrong! going through every single mention of peace in the story just to fact check this one little trivia fact is a bit much i think so i'm not doing it JSDFKLSD

but yes

remember mr hair strand and baldy, we'll see them again. not her though, ig she wasn't in charge of bond

now, fast-forwarding to chapter 19, we finally get a name and a premise for the experiments:

"but oana," you might say, "this is talking about animals only! how do we know it's the same project as anya's, which involved human experimentation?"

i don't think it is, is the thing! i think it's related to the experiments anya was a part of, which is evidenced by the same scientists being featured in project apple too, but there's more going on that we don't know about. there wouldn't be such adamancy on keeping the two separate in every official mention of them if they were just the same thing, imo!

back to the evidence, we learn that the project, conducted and funded by the previous ostanian regime (meaning donovan's related to it one way or another, since he was prime minister), was marked by franticness and desperation -- a prime place for accidents like anya's telepathy and bond's future vision.

we also learn that the project was sacked by the new administration and that the former test subjects ended up on the black market.

(this makes it very important, imo, to learn when anya escaped the facility vs. when the project was sacked. it's clearly no longer in function, but while we've heard nothing from them thus far, i'm willing to bet the shady dealings around the desmond group are NOT related to the war, as W.I.S.E. has been led to believe, but rather to reignite project apple. that is speculation however so i'm going to refrain from theorising much on why the desmond group is focused on acquiring pharmaceutical companies!!)

ok speculation tangent over, back on track

so, that's already a decent amount of info! but moving to chapter 22, when bond is finally home, and we finally see some familiar faces

behold! baldy and mr hair strand!

and 2 other guys we don't know but will see again in another bond flashback!

that's 2 out of the 3 scientists we've seen thus far from anya's own time as subject 007, confirming that there IS a connection between anya and bond's experiments, regardless of whatever the project anya was a part of might've been named.

this is also the chapter in which we learn that bond himself was subject 8 (or, if we take it from the fanbook, subject #8. still, diff notation from anya!)

in chapter 31, we learn an interesting tiny piece of trivia. we don't get any further info on it, but it IS mentioned as something that is known by W.I.S.E.:

ostania is rumoured to have done human experimentation! and W.I.S.E., and by extension loid, are aware of that.

do i know how them knowing may be important later? not really!

the next droplet of info we get is in chapter 40. we see that project apple had collaborators that are still functioning unhindered.

of course, born industries is only rumoured to have been involved with project apple, but regardless of whether or not they actually were, the rumour itself implies that the project likely pulled scientists from various other companies' R&D departments.

(this makes the desmond group's acquisition of glooman pharmaceuticals shadier, but anyway)

as a side note, twilight is emoting so much at just his wrong assumption that bond is seeking revenge against the scientists. imagine how he's going to react when he finds out about anya JKSDFKLFSD

and now aaaaall the way in chapter 58, we see the bald guy who anya also knows, the two scientists from bond's previous flashback, and one whole new guy!

and thus ends our current knowledge of it all!

the only other thing worth discussing is anya's knowledge of classical language

but plenty people have already discussed these scenes, especially recently, so here are some links: 1 | 2 | 3

the only thing i can add is that i'm fairly certain that classical language is a lot more likely to be latin than old english, because it's a very common language to learn in school (in europe at least, and ostania is based on east germany so it makes sense to me. i learned mandatory latin in school for a few good years too, even if i wasn't that good at it lol) and because one of the most common modern usages of latin are in medicine and science, it would make sense that she'd be better at it due to exposure.

a possibility is also that the scientists would think in latin to conceal their thoughts from her, and that's how she ended up learning so much. she's not fluent in latin, she's just well acquainted and that cicumstance would explain the how.

BUT THAT'S SPECULATIONNN

also i don't think "ANIA" is an acronym, nor do i think anya's been misspelling her own name out of lack of knowledge. "ania" is a polish diminutive of anna and an alternate transcription of Аня, so i think it's far more likely that anya isn't ostanian or westalian than it is that her name comes from an acronym.

now,

TL;DR!

what we know about project apple (and the "mysterious organization"):

project apple was funded and conducted by what appears to have been donovan's regime and, from what W.I.S.E. knows, aimed to create highly intelligent animals for military purposes;

W.I.S.E. is aware that ostania is at the very least rumoured to have dabbled in human experimentation;

the project is presumably no longer on-going, though it is likely there are efforts behind the scenes to revive it;

it is rumoured but not confirmed that project apple had collaborating companies that are still functioning perfectly fine;

the same scientists who were in charge of bond were also in charge of anya, signalling that there is a very significant connection between project apple and the "mysterious organization;"

based on what they were telling anya, they were/are very focused on "world peace";

their experimentation methods include but likely aren't limited to electrocution.

and what we (vaguely) know about anya that relates to this:

she is at the youngest, 4 years old, and at the oldest, 5 nearing 6. we don't know her real age, all we know is she definitely lied about being 6;

she is very fixated on specifically world peace while twilight is focused on peace between ostania and westalis. the scientists are the very first we see talking about this, so it's likely their fault;

she is unreasonably well acquainted with classical language;

she has escaped the facility at LEAST 1 year ago;

and, one tidbit from the fanbook (page 29): "Anya has been reading minds for as long as she can remember," implying that her memory of a life before the lab is muddy at best and absent at worst.

that's all we know that i know of!!

if you got this far, thank you for reading :D hope any of this was interesting or sparked any theories >:] have a good day!

[eldritch-spouse]

Do the triplets spend much time with each other? Like, I know they’re all mama’s boys and probably visit for her birthday, but what else do they do together? Do they get together for the demonic equivalent of holidays?

(Sorry I’m simping so hard for them right now, and imagining that one scenario where they’re all trying to romance a human, but my brain keeps stopping to go “yeah but why are they hanging out together”)

Also I’ll lump this question in since it’s about one of the triplets, but I think you’ve talked about Mervin being happy to pick outfits for his human. (Unless you were talking about Cero and I’ve mixed up the pride demons).

My question is could we enjoy quality time doing things like hair and makeup with Mervin’s input. Maybe even encourage him to help us paint nails or similar things that are appearance based. (I know they’re all yanderes but I do love occasional soft moments)

[I've seen adult siblings basically glued at the hip, though as an only child, I can only sort of try to guess what level of distance is ""normal"".]

They used to be very close before Admin came into Ludwig's life.

They did plenty of things together, big and small, their bond was unshakable. And, to this day, they're still almost always on good terms, ready to help each other at a moment's notice. They try to schedule holidays in a way where they can be together, but it doesn't always work out. They try.

When Ludwig met Admin (or "you", you know the drill by now), and later on got roped into passing Krulu onto you, he grew distant from his brothers. Guilt, fury and depression consumed him, such so that he was generally unpleasant to be around, obsessed with The Clergy, with Admin, with the way things were unfurling, spiraling out of control- His dreams shattering in real time. Neither Mervin nor Obie quite understood what was going on, and even when they pried and massacred everyone enough to grasp things, they couldn't shake the attitude off their brother.

Although things have gotten slightly better the moment Lud put some distance between himself and the establishment, his former infatuation... He's not one hundred percent back on track and the three of them know this. He's not the same guy. He could never be the same guy. But he's still their Ludwig, and neither of his brothers are going to let him run off into a misery pit. They're working on it.

Any pride demon will put in their own two cents when asked about something they have basic understanding of.

Of course Mervin will tell you how to wear your hair and what clothes to dress if you look minimally receptive to it.

Be it in an exclusive dynamic, or a scenario where all three pine for you, Mervin will take an iron fist over aspects of your appearance, if you let him. Though never to the extent of someone like Cero.

[sunlightandsuffering]

Y’all know who’d go crazy with Eren and Mikasa not wearing condoms on that series of baby roulette drabbles? Not Armin, Armin’s reaction was mild compared to Floch’s. Floch is anti-Mikasa and when he finds out they’re not wearing any condoms he’s shocked out of his mind and about to throw up. Do you think Mikasa tells Floch they don’t use condoms just to be a brat and establish her dominance or does Floch try to find out the size of Eren’s cock on his own (like asking for condom tips like Armin lol) and gets this same answer again?

IM LAUGHING AT ALL THE FLOCH HATE HERE IT'S SO FUNNY! Someone sent me a similar ask like right before u and iether ur the same or u guys are just on the same wave length lmfao! we need a floch hating universe tag bc there was that one funny trail of asks where we were just HATING on him hard lol.

Mikasa has never liked Floch.

Not since the first day she met him, the eight grade having just begun, all of the elementary school students mixing together for the first time. Rival cliques forming, new friendships blossoming, and for Mikasa, the most stressful time in her life because her and Armin had to hold tight to Eren like a fucking lifeline. They hadn't been dating back then, but it was widely known amongst their little group that Eren belonged to her, that if someone was going to date him it would be her.

They had been friends for the longest, still lived across the street from each other, their moms were good friends, she was over at his house almost every day. A weird sort of possessiveness had overtaken her because she would NOT be losing her future husband to some brand new girl.

But little did she know, her real competition would be him, the irritating little red head that become obsessed with Eren nearly the moment he saw him: Floch Forster. He'd become almost enamored with Eren, and it got worse the older they got. Eren joined the soccer team, so did Floch, Eren took art instead of music class, so did Floch.

Even into university, of course she and Eren would attend the same universtiy, and yet the first day of classes there he was, sidling up next to Eren like it was nothing. Fucking Floch. Mikasa hates him.

Even more so because his obsession has so clearly morphed into a crush, and Mikasa doesn't discriminate when it comes to love rivals, anyone and everyone is seen as competition and she will NOT stand for Floch trying to steal her man. They're sitting at lunch, one of the larger cafe's on campus, Floch having found them after his most recent class to interrupt their intimate lunch date and Mikasa is fuming as usual because this is HER time with HER man.

"Yeah," Eren is nodding, patronizing his friend because he's never seen it, never understood her immense hatred of the man, "That exam was killer, we'll see how much they curve it." "I'm sure you did great Eren," Floch tells him helpfully and Mikasa's lip curls up in disgust, what a suck up. Where she was drilling Eren with exam questions up until the last moment before he went in here is this little puppy dog of a man spoon feeding him praise. Idiot. That is not how Eren will see results!

Eren smiles, turning to Mikasa, ever the doting boyfriend, "It'll be because Miki helped me study so much if I do." He leans in to kiss her and Mikasa makes it long, slow, her hand coming up to tangle in his hair, her tongue teasing his as she leans in. She makes an exaggerated little moaning sound as Eren grips her hip, his hands unable to stay by his side, tugging her closer to deepen the kiss and Mikasa squeezes his bicep to keep her balance. "Eren," she whispers breathily as he finally pulls back, rubbing the entire act in Floch's stupid face, and Eren looks out of it now, his pupils blown wide. He looks like he wants to discard his lunch all together in favour of taking her back to his apartment.

Eren winks at her as he pulls back, hand on her hip and ready to drag her away at any moment.

Mikasa grins, "You just needed some motivation baby what can I say?" Floch looks utterly disgusted and Mikasa smiles like the cheshire cat.

Eren meanwhile is getting antsy, it's clear to her that kiss was a precursor to a little afternoon delight if she can get away with it. "I'm gonna throw our stuff away okay Miki and then lets head home for a bit before your evening class." Floch looks like he wants to open his mouth, to protest but Mikasa cuts him off, looking up at her boyfriend spiritedly, all smiles, "I'd love that baby." Floch's mouth shuts in irritation and Eren gathers their lunch trays before disappearing off towards the trash and recycling bins. Mikasa has about two minutes alone with the little leprechaun and she's going to make it count. She turns, eyes thinned to slit, venom in her voice, "Stay away from him Floch." The Leprechaun glares back murderously, "No." "He's my boyfriend."

"Well maybe that could change," Floch smarts back, "You're awful confident for a girl who didn't make a move on him until the eleventh grade." Her nostrils flare and she could reach across this table and fucking claw his eyes out, she wants to.

"I'm confident because I have a promise ring on my finger and I'm the only one he's ever been with, everything that turns Eren on is me," she tells him confidently. "Until it's not," Floch scoffs, "Anything can get old after a while Mikasa, even you."

God she hates him, and she wishes she hadn't let Eren take her fork away, it would look awfully good sticking out of his hand right about now.

"I'm not worried about it, he still wants me just as badly as the day I took his virginity." "You sure?" Floch jeers, "Everyone likes to experiment in university, even men, don't count me out yet Mikasa."

"Don't fool yourself you were never even in the ring, I could take him home right now if I wanted and he'd thank me for it." "I think you give yourself too much credit Ackerman." "You don't give me enough," she retorts.

"You're just a pretty face and a nice body Ackerman, that's all. Eren will tire of you eventually, they always do, high school sweethearts don't last." "I'm a fuck of a lot more than that," Mikasa snaps, "You're an idiot if you think Eren is with me just for my looks, he loves me. My tits are just a nice perk." "Whatever you say Mikasa," Floch jeers, a cruel smile on his face, "They'll get saggy soon enough and then we'll see how big you're talking." Mikasa fumes, murderous, how fucking dare he. She's saved from answering at the sound of Eren's footsteps, and out of pure spite Mikasa yanks the V-neck of her top down to expose her ample cleavage. She mouths a quick 'Fuck You' to Floch before turning to Eren, and just seeing him is a relief, "Babe, I don't feel great can we head back now?"

Eren's words of concern are cut off by Floch, who isn't about to go down without a fight, "But Eren said he'd study with me." Eren is fighting a frown, his attention locked completely on her, and then more accurately, her tits as his eyes zero in on the creamy flesh of her breasts. "I really think I should get Mikasa home if she isn't feeling great," Eren mumbles absently, his hands slipping down to her waist, massaging her sides and going for a very discrete feel of her tits. It makes her smirk. Floch huffs, "I'm just worried about this quick next week, you know how crazy they are after an exam, it's right back into the material." "I'm sure it'll be fine," Eren mumbles, his gaze slippingn up to her face now, concern etched in his expression, "I want to get Mikasa home." He sure fucking does, she can tell just by the twitch in his hands as he touches her. He wants her. Now.

She gives him her most innocent look, holding her hands up for him to grab her, "Yeah I just wanna get home, lay in bed with you for a bit, I need a recharge."

A soft smile overtakes Eren's face and he takes her hands, lacing her fingers with his, "Yeah I need some Mikasa time."

Mikasa smiles winningly at Floch, tossing her hair over her shoulder as Eren helps her up, the final blow, "But Eren," She looks at him with faux concern, "Baby I think we're out of condoms though, should we buy more?" Eren looks genuinely confused as he tugs her up from the bench, his hand finding her hip almost worryingly and he's quick to stroke over the exposed skin.

"Baby what are you talking about you know I hate condoms, we havne't used them in forever" His brow furrows as he slips his other hand up to cup her forehead, checking her temperature, "Especially with you, you know I love going bare, are you sure you're okay?"

Mikasa smiles sweetly, surging up for a kiss, "Yeah I'm great, just love you."

Eren beams, tucking her under his arm, "Good, I was scared there for a sec, I can't even remember the last time we used a condom and I don't really want to." Eren turns, almost as an afterthought, shooting Floch a cocky smirk over her head, "You know how it is Forster, sorry duty calls, anyway I'll see you next week in our econ class yeah?" Floch is nodding dumbly, and Mikasa absolutely preens over her shoulder at him, even more so when Eren goes for a very non-discrete ass grab, evidently feeling a little frisky now. "Bye Floch." He glares at her, mumbling darkly, "Bye Mikasa."

AHAHAH OMG I WROTE THIS FOREVER AGO AND FOUND IT IN MY DRAFTS SO I JUST HAD TO FINISH IT!! NOW THAT IM FINALLY FEELING INSPIRED LOL AND I LOVE IT IT'S SO FUNNY

[technocipher]

Karen Travers is most certainly a man well-accustomed to pain. Each failure served to contribute more and more into his already overwhelming grief. The sheer weight of his duty, stretched across innumerable timelines, aided in mentally destroying him -- more than he already had been. He could never be entirely certain if Luka was happier with his absence, either.

But there appears to be a much deeper aspect of pain locked within Karen. The DLC mentions that he was sold to the government for their illicit experiments, a treatment Luka was likely subjected to as well. The shame of siring duds seemed to be too much for their father to bear. He had to make them normal in some fashion -- anything would be better than what he had.

This kind of parental rejection is excruciating to bear as a child. It will remain with you for a lifetime. Across several, it is likely magnified. To have to relive it a thousand times over must have driven Karen to the brink of madness. Perhaps even he was unsure about it. Perhaps he buried it all the same -- it isn't as if he had any other choice.

Not much is truly stated of the Travers' home life before the OSF, but it was not a healthy one. There are strong implications of abuse in the scant details given. For one, we don't know just how prominent the Travers patriarch was during the boys' childhood. He was likely prone to committing physical violence, if Karen's unusually high pain tolerance is anything to go by. The Travers family patriarch was also likely to be quite verbally and emotionally abusive. In a military organization like the OSF, why, it's not all that different from home -- the top brass and drill sergeants don't seem to be too dissimilar.

Karen's distance and aloofness very much appear to be a defense mechanism. For him to act out so frequently in basic training, to receive as many write-ups as he did, speaks volumes about what his home life had been. Perhaps it was a way to assert dominance... or perhaps he was daring them to strike. With his then-newly implanted abilities, the sky was the limit, wasn't it? He wasn't quite able to protect himself and Luka... but now, he could.

Even Luka's obsession with working out has much to do with his terrible home life. It is a more passive defense mechanism compared to his brother's; constant exercise aids to combat the throes of depression. It also contributes to physical strength... but, every time he looks in the mirror, what does he see? A child who can't even defend himself? Can Luka ever allow himself to let his guard down?

Any inkling of abuse occurring in the Travers household was kept under wraps. If the Travers patriarch was a man of high standing, then he likely had a network of close friends reporting on any "negative criticism". Karen may have been too afraid to discuss the truth with Fubuki and Alice. His inclination towards stoicism aided to mask any hurt he felt. At the same time, it served to harm Karen further, locking all his pain deeper within. It's little wonder that Karen speaks through his eyes -- eyes that are a window into a tormented soul.

How often had Karen craved to speak out and loosen his burdens, only for the familiar wave of terror to silence such a wish? Did he watch Fubuki with envy twisting his insides, bitter about a freedom long since denied? ... Would Fubuki even care? Did Karen prefer the loneliness of solitude, rather than endure the shame?

It's easier to keep other people at arms' length. Most of the time, they're too self absorbed to care about anyone other than themselves. Even if they seem safe enough, few -- if any -- can be trusted. Tell someone a secret, and the next day it will be the talk of the town. Talk about yourself and the things you really want, and someone else will run roughshod over you -- you're just a dud. You're not worth the attention. You might have artificially gifted powers, sure, but give the public an inch and they'll be quick to remind you of your worthlessness. But they sure love to grand-stand about the other fun issues! To remain closed off is to be safe; no one can hurt you if they don't know where to make you bleed.

Not to mention, the experimentation itself must have been excruciating. Merely tampering with the brain causes all sorts of horrid side effects. Brain Eater, if it's even a naturally-occurring power -- highly doubtful, given New Himuka's fondness for clandestine research -- is quite a volatile power. Perhaps it's even unstable. Early usage of the power may have sent Karen into severe convulsions. Maybe even vomiting, foaming at the mouth from the sheer, inescapable agony, with his arms and legs splaying bonelessly. Karen may have had to train his already high pain tolerance into something astronomical. It isn't as if anyone ever cared to check on him. There were were likely no objections from his immediate family when he was sold off and subsequently handed over to the OSF.

As a Septentrion of high standing, it must be even worse for him. With so many eyes upon him, Karen has to bury any modicum of weakness. The pressure crushes him tenfold. He has to overtax his brain for the sake of the OSF. How much worse are his seizures? How often has Karen been forced to drag his uncooperative limbs to a more secluded section of the battlefield, desperate to keep his suffering clear of prying eyes? Has he ever been forced to push it down in front of his platoon, even as the spasms gradually worsen? When he's found an isolated spot, does he ever allow himself to ever be completely vulnerable? He may not even permit himself that -- for all he knows, someone could have followed him. It doesn't take much to tempt an opportunity for blackmail. He may never feel safe enough to be completely vulnerable.

It doesn't seem to be often remarked upon, but Karen is extremely expressive. His eyes and body language are very meticulously arranged and animated. He may not be speaking in a conventional manner, but he is speaking, nonetheless. When irritation, defiance, and anger are not at the forefront, there is a notable sorrow. A silent pleading, even. The rare times when he is at his most vulnerable is when it is the most blatant. It seems to add to the tragedy of his character, in the end. Karen carries far more pain than what the plot completely touches upon... as quietly as he can manage. Did he ever have any other choice?

[emerystellar]

The Letter, Vocalized

(the ‘why’ of every song in my simon petrikov playlist- the poor dear i love him so much) heres the playlist -> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bFlf5AD54EyszuCKqGRVV?si=0bdff473d752467a

then all the actual writing is below the cut because this shit is 4700 words long. im obsessed. anyway BEEP BEEP

—- 1. Everything in its Right Place ~ Radiohead

*Simon doesn’t exactly have a right place at the moment per se- so this song leads more like a plea for this place, and the build of the instruments really matches a sort of spiral- it’s also got that nice eerie Radiohead feeling that’s inexplicably chilly, which is something you’ll be seeing A Lot of throughout the playlist cuz even tho a lot of these lyrics are spot on it’s also about the sound of the songs too. and this one just happens to be both and it’s lovely. i also fucking love the repetition of the lyrics "there are two colors in my head / what was it you were trying to say?" that could be the black/dark brown of simon himself and the drilling blue of the ice king \:) and then. forgetting immediately what he was talking about/what was happening- what was it you were trying to say? anyway i love this song very much*

—- 2. Grammar King ~ Flocks

*okay you know how i just mentioned the sound of the songs being important? well boom. here we go! a strange instrumental introspection to break the drone :3 it sounds like being in a blizzard (or fittingly a mental spiral) but it’s still so crisp and refined!! i love it cuz it’s got such a wonderfully off kilter feeling to it. when the fionna and cake title sequence played i was surprised at how __frantic__ it was?? and this song captures that same breathless feeling and franticness in a really nice and crisp way (plus the drums are really cool) and it holds the same, like, hallmarks of aivi and surasshu’s stuff they did for the steven universe battle scenes (which the music of fionna and cake in general feels like a sweet cousin to SU music (Looking At You Mx. Sugar Hi I See You) but either way it’s a very solid vibe and it go crazy i like it \:)!!*

—- 3. In Two ~ Will Paquin

*i think this fits very well as him singing to the idea of crown itself! "half of me is half of you now/.../you sit so high, like a cranium that rests on the spine /.../ can you feel me buckling beneath you" he sounds so soft (will paquin's voice is gorgeous) so it's almost as a love or reverence for his idolization of the crown :3 at the moment his quest is literally To Find and Have and Be it again, so i don't think he fully resents it- but it's definitely still an odd relationship with it, something so incredibly fascinating and i think there is a LOT to say about it! "in the end i won't escape from the sight of you.../is it even a game if in the end i let you kill me?"*

—- 4. The Place Where He Inserted the Blade ~ Black Country, New Road

*this song is so tender! it paints a picture of the past, immersive in memory. one bit i especially love is that with each new "Good morning" it could be interpreted as simon forgetting that part of himself again, benig wiped clean, falling into becoming the ice king again. \:) it's lovely! it also feels as if he's begging betty, the motif of "show me the place where he inserted the blade / where is your light / am i home?" is him calling out to her, asking where she is, where Golb is. show me the place where you are, betty, please. they're both clinging to these ideas of each other, and it's so hopeful and strained, and this song does a wonderful job of depicting it!!*

—- 5. The Mind Electric ~ Miracle Musical

*you really think that for one second i couldn't include the Token Song About A Guy Named Simon Going Insane? i feel like, moreso than other people i've seen, i really really really want to explore the idea of the repeated memory/identity loss really fucking with his head- it obviously has, and even though we may have seen more of this loss when he'd first gotten the crown, i'd love to dip my toes into the angst that it still continually hurts him to try and remember. citing my sources here, it's similar to jim in good omens- looking where the furniture isn't. anyway i went a bit on a tangent but point being this song represents this insanity! the sound of the song itself and the glitches/bits of samples like memories flitting in and out of his head, trying to remember himself against all odds, trying to fight the manic or strange urges that come with being the ice king, "my brain has claimed its glory over me/i've a good heart albeit insane" and he really is. the more time he spends trapped inside of himself, the more he questions his existence and reality, yea? that wretched goddamn crown, "spiraling down thy majesty". even though it's angsty i really really really want to see them delve way into this when he does reunite with the crown, more viciously than they ever could have back in AT.

doctor, i can't tell if i'm not me.*

—- 6. In Between ~ WILLIS

*some could argue this is a little too light bedroom-poppy of a sound for the purposes of this playlist, but the lyrics are wonderful! the whole introduction definitely gives the same meandering, aimless feeling he had when he was the ice king, reinforced with the line "this place still feels the same/i am bound in hindsight from now". you could also see "take me back to summertime" as a sort of take me away from the cold and ice, take me back to who i used to be, happy and unbroken- maybe thats a little of a stretch tho ;P and "meet me at a point in life when I feel more in control" framed as a last plea to betty, a perfect hopless little cherry on top to these poor dears scattered across spacetime \:)*

—- 7. The Bug Collector ~ Hayley Heynderickx

*this is a song betty sings to simon. with the different situations presented as small trivial things to the singer, and the subject of the song being scared over seemingly nothing, but they take care of it anyway. it's still worth it to them. this matches how betty treats ice king- he has his own set of motives and problems and thought processes completely seperate from simon, which yes is infuriating, but it's part of helping him, yes? this song sounds both defeated and resolute at the same time, which is a fantastic balance that is hard to strike. it reeks of the unwavering love between the two of them and it's very special to me*

—- 8. Evil ~ Interpol

*i feel like this is could be viewed in the context of simon ritualistically trying to get back to betty. "heaven restores you in life", as was done, "you're weightless, you are exotic/you need something for which to care" both things very true of betty. i also just really enjoy the sound of the song- it communicates a very certain desperacy and i love it \:) also the story of the animatronic Norman and the music video being of someone/something that distinctly doesn't belong in the place that they are, with simon not really belonging anywhere anymore- overall it's a really nice ensemble for this purpose, i may be a little biased tho thanks to norm my boy my baby haha*

—- 9. Bathed In Sound ~ Cosmo Sheldrake

*Fantastically, this song sounds like being underwater, melting into something. This, to me, is a bit more interpretive than the other songs on the playlist- of course we're not actually talking about whales, but i think "the wonder of that wild wet world beneath" could refer more to the sense of drowinging in the madness, the magic. The song presents it so slowly, so calmly, as if it is this warm and wonderful thing to sink into- and I'm sure for Simon, the idea of sinking back into that comfortable emptiness is extremely appealing at this point. He wants it. He needs it. Tense and cold and swallowing him whole, He Needs It.*

—- 10. Daydream / Wetdream / Nightmare ~ Saint Motel

*SO much of this song rings true with him!! "Well, I can die a happy man if I could be with you/behind these eyes I believe fantasies can come true" This is self-explanatory, he wants to be home with Betty. Find the time to be the man that you like to talk to/in dreams, it seems that I can be anyone you want me to, oh" The nature of dreams being of the subconscious mind, and the implications that Simon can in fact remember at least some of the things he percieves as Ice King (with lapses in those memories, of course, just like real dream remembering) is extremely curious. This whols song reads very idyllic and hopeful with the way the vocals are sang, and I love the fact that yes- against all idiot odds- the poor guy just wants to be himself, wants things to be concrete, just wants his wife back. The song itself seems to be split up in three pieces, same as the veritable phases of Simon/IK's lifetime- it matches very well, and represents the same sort of wistful nature he's got goin' on.*

—- 11. The Fool On The Hill ~ The Beatles

*If I haaaad to choose a song here that fits the most perfectly out of anything here- it might be this one. That could be the hyperfixation on the song talking, but, man. Man!! He really is just a fool on the hill!! The strange silly man with patches in his memory, sitting atop his icy mountain. A"And nobody wants to know him, they can see that he's just a fool." which is very true of the wayward motive of the princesses that he displays as IK. It's fantastic, I love this as an examination of his IK behavior. "And the eyes in his head see the world spinning round"- aptly implying those eyes don't belong to the Ice King, per se, because they're __Simon's__ eyes. Genius!! Unintentional connected genius!!!! Love it!!!!!*

—- 12. In an Ice Palace ~ The Music Tapes

*the title is a dead giveaway, and even though it doesn’t have lyrics, i still think it fits that like… somber whimsicality might be the term? of a magical world gone wrong \:) and the melody is gorgeous and chilling in all the ways it should be. whether you see it as a reuniting with the crown and his return to ice king, or as a wistful and awful recollection of it, up to listener’s interpretation because i can and will think of it as both. it is crystalline and strange and i love it very, very much \:) I also really love the almost Rankin/Bass or Charlie Brown feelings of it? The vocalizations and harmonies feel so fantastic in that sense, and it really drives home the quaint nostalgic winter feeling like not much else could in this specific sense, while still being unrefined enough to represent the strangeness of IK.*

—- 13. Waves ~ Bahamas

*"There's a part of it, that I'll miss/at the heart of it, your cold kiss"- god, he misses Betty, and even now when he's meandering through worlds he misses who he used to be. this song is an extremely tender and wistful apology to her, and to marcy, and to himself perhaps. he knows it was too much, and the motif of the waves is excellent for this- waves in the ocean are scary and unforgiving, always ready to sweep you under. "And when I knew I'd become the ocean's slave/I just stayed" (when he'd gotten taken over by the crown he just. kept it. he tried to use it to keep marceline safe until he knew it was too late. and he became far, far too attached, the easy comfort of forgetting. it's horrid!!!! i love it*

—- 14. Room with a View ~ Russ Morgan and his Orchestra

*I picked up Russ Morgan from Everywhere at the End of Time, but out of all his songs (even the more uncanny ones,) i felt this one fit the best. this is the moment betty sacrificed herself- the "room" with the view being the closing of golb's stomach, him being the last thing she say- it feels romantic, even aside from the lyrics, the instruments themselves do- much of 40's-50's connotates to be. also take a minute to imagine if they'd listened to this song together back when they were both human. danced to it, even. i'm a sucker for motifs and goddamn.*

—- 15. Video Killed the Radio Star ~ The Buggles

*i’ve always loved how sad this song presents itself!! another big sense of defeat covered in whimsy, i feel like it’s either ice king killed the man who metaphorically was once simon, or vice versa, and the Guilt that he might feel over either one of these situations..! it also kind of plays into the fact that a remote is their interdimensional tool when he goes on the journey with f&c hehe, we can’t rewind we’ve gone too faaar~ it’s such a general well-rounded song for stuff like this it’s so tonally interesting and that’s the kind of thing i am loving for this playlist If Ya Couldn’t Fuckinf Tell Hahahahhehehehe :3*

—- 16. No Surprises ~ Radiohead

*this song has always connotated to me a sense of “please for fucks sake just let the guy REST!!” which is extremely true here. I feel like it can also be read in a sense of memory loss- he starts losing his functions again, things that *should* tip his mind off or remind him of things but don’t, alarm bells that should be ringing in the face of danger are silent, instinct and memory gone. the instrumental is also extremely cold and somber and you know that’s a recurring theme at this point-*

—- 17. The Funeral ~ Band of Horses

*Help, my inner criminal minds nostalgia is showing … anyway, all things considered. Spencer Reid has some similar things going on of odd emotional capacities, schizophrenia (connected to the idea of insanity,) and just. the general idea of someone insanely intelligent being shadowed by this looming reputation, but still having that lost deer sort of empathy.. and in general, the song as a stand-alone I’ve always seen it as someone waiting for death (their __own__ funeral in a sense) and he definitely seemed ready to embrace that as a way to not be so empty and lonely, and maybe see Betty once more. It’s very interesting to read him like this, and again, it’s the same sort of hopelessness he feels in the beginning and Prismo’s episode. Poor honeybun.*

—- 18. Cold Island ~ My Singing Monsters

*This one definitely seemed like a necessary edition, it’s always read as isolation and the mental shift and resulting backwards appreciation that causes? “Look at the stars in the big black ink,/tell me what you feel and tell me what you think./Is it cold outside? Is it cold out?” holds such a deliciously dark weight to it [that tiktok found and stomped into the ground, but it still applies nonetheless]. It’s just.. so gorgeous, and solemn, and for an MSM song it’s pretty damn good- it’s complexity and layers are quite similar to Another Certain Unidentified Man’s mental complexity, yeah?*

—- 19. Forevertime Journeys ~ naran ratan

*Another simple instrumental of Vibes, this is windy and soft, holding an uncanny sense in its detuned twinkles. i also love the sort of windchime essence of it, it's so very gentle and soft just as he really is down inside. i have a massive love for these sorts of soft things, little breaks from the madness, a bit of peace. light glinting through the ice, perhaps. it's wonderful, concise, and thoughtful.*

—- 20. Bitter Sweet Symphony ~ The Verve

*ohh? is that a timeless anthem against the dreary drone of normalcy i hear????? something that simon might resonate with considering his strange relationship with normalcy and being exploited for just how perfectly mundane he is???? hrmm, yes it is! and in fact his entire existence up until now has been extre,ely bittersweet- to be sentenced to this, after a life of wonder and magic, SURROUNDED by wonder and magic? i thonk this really represents te catalyst of him missing being part of the madness... everything is far too quiet now. he had gotten used to the loud static of memory and silly brashness of being under the crown that now, all seems lonelier than ever.*

—- 21. Bluebird of Misfortune ~ Toby Fox (Deltarune)

*Someone completely taken over by ice-related magic… though in a different fashion, it definitely makes me think of Snowgrave. Slowly succumbing to a power quiet and strange. The song itself is also eerie but still light in that way- asking a question of what used to be there and what it has become now. Perhaps I’m reading into it too much and not articulating it well enough, it’s hard for such a double entendre like this is, but in a sense he’s both Noelle __and__ Berdly as it relates to snowgrave. the destruction of his old self. the idea of trying to fight back against this thing, uncanny and unwavering, coercing you into forgetting the relationships with those you held dear and simply becoming as magically powerful as possible? Yeah, i think we can all see it..*

—- 22. Philadelphia ~ Alt-J

"Am I cold, I cannot tell." (True!! I don't think he's able to feel cold in any sense anymore.) The beginning sets up an extremely melancholy tone, extremely fit with the rest of the playlist's purpose. The guitar itself echoing as it does, and the high chilling strings- i love it. It's also fairly raw and a little more... darkly intimate might be the word? Not in an odd way of course, but I definitely think Simon's mind is darker than we'll get to see on screen, especially with his longing for Betty. Y'all already know I'm obsessed with the loss of identity, the being stuck between two poles, two bastions of existence on different ends of the same coin- "And I'm losing my ability to fathom/'Awake' and 'not awake'" like damn true pop off*

—- 23. The Nowhere King ~ Centaurworld

*A media song that I feel kind of goes hand-in-hand with how AT handles Simon’s story in general, and the sense of eerieness that surrounds it. I think we can agree that him becoming Ice King again is endgame one way or another (my implications of this i am not sure i’m just Scared of it) and the sense that it will not be all he’s been wishing, and he will fall to it again. even though the concept of the nowhere king is different, i do think it’s that he’ll essentially be a nothing king instead. I don’t think this is going to solve the emptiness, the sense of loss, and potentially losing his memory again will Absolutely take a toll on him.*

—- 24. Potatus Et Molassus ~ Over the Garden Wall

*Another related media song, this sort of somber tone is very very special to me, and the whole idea of succumbing to the Beast after a long time of trying to fight it (becoming the Ice King after a long time of trying to build himself back up from it) and the idea of it being ever-present, waiting for you. ~~Also i used to be a huge Bad End Friends fan so. it has a soft spot there :3~~ The choir resonanting with that kind of antiquated sense of death or eerieness does mirror the fact that simon has been going this for years. and years. but he still holds all of those now completely historical values and I feel like in the "endgame" of the crown he will return to that kind of solemn funeral-like nature. it's giving up, after all.*

—- 25. Kiss Me, Son of God ~ They Might Be Giants

*I aaaaalmost wasn’t gonna add this one, but. then i thought about the contrast of simon prime to the other Simons (namely the Winter King) and by god, it shows the Possibility of what he could be. and kind of describes their weird kinship/relationship/whatever it was?? The song really talks about a sense of defeat to me almost, and it also touches on the sense of how he would react to so many people loving him at the moment.. the world really is screaming “kiss me son of god” to him, yeah? and being Ice King in general could be considered a godlike pedestal in some senses, even if he’s not taken seriously. i have so many thoughts about this song*

—- 26. The Sea of Tranquility ~ The Music Tapes (ft. Orbiting Human Circus)

*Ggghhh another song i tried so hard not to add cuz i’m OBSESSED with it and i put it on like every playlist.. but there’s definitely begging for solace in “oh, we’ll be old and weary friends.. god bless that all this never ends” and it’s such a soft and raw song i love it. ifsmgkfnejkf it sounds like him pleading for his old life back, a life where he is important and seen, or maybe begging to stay in this limbo where he doesn’t have to forget? there’s so many ways you could read this but it just reads like someone so, so weak begging the universe for comfort \:-) plus there’s my bias towards the song bc i just really love it.. another elephant 6 represent moment*

—- 27. goodnight nebula ~ EMI//NOVA

*okay yeah, maaaybe this is a shameless self plug. and it's again an instrumental focused on describing the magic and element of ice itself with crystalline tones, because at that point it's a hugely important part of his character, yeah? even as simon, it's inescapable. i wonder if IK ever went out and looked over the mountaintops to see the sunrise. and simon, back there, faintly watching, remembering. it's a nice breath of fresh air, tender and contemplative, methinks.*

—- 28. Heartaches ~ Al Bowlly

*Internally I fought with myself over this one because this song is starting to become extremely overused in fandom spaces as Everywhere at the End of Time became more mainstream, but really, it fits the energy of Simon so much better than any other cases I've seen it being used in, what with the deas of depersonalization and memory loss. And of course, obviously, the endless Sisyphus love story of him and Betty. It's just a burning memory, after all. There's not a ton I can say about the song that hasn't already been said somewhere, in some capacity, but it stiiiil does indeed do very well to describe the solemn tradgedy of Simon Petrilov with the very sounds of the past he held dear.*




—- (Bonus- not on spotify yet!) 29. flurry fugue - EMI//NOVA

*i'm not sure if anyone realizes yet that i literally wrote this song to describe how i see simon??? magical, eerie, yet sweet.... and of course it's called fugue because that was exactly what he was as ice king- and the song decays a little over the course of the runtime, just as he did. i have a tendency to write these soft instrumental songs and i do think it relfects the style of the shows' music very well too! i've had a lot of good feedback that displays it's doing what I want it to, but i don't know if anyone knows this is LIterally dedicated to him?? if anyone has picked up that on the cover.. \:) i love him so much guys you have no idea*

~~~~~~

Honorable Mentions that I couldn't/wouldn't add

—- No Children ~ The Mountain Goats

*It’s a huge trigger song and I can’t physically listen to this without spiraling, so I don’t want it on the playlist, but. I still think it fits his story. The kind of last-hurrah flippant hopelessness he has, especially showcased in Prismo’s episode, god I’m glad Fionna and Cake are helping fix that even in some sense because THE POOR DEAR NO. it’s such a ridiculously tragic song for a tragic man. i do think he could be singing it to betty as a sort of finality.. not that there’s gonna BE ANY cuz i don’t WANT THERE TO BE FINALITY unless it is HAPPY…. :)! it also really goes to show that he's been in his own sort of living hell for so long- it begs the question of whether or not betty was selfish to try and guarantee his future to be long and meandering by sacrificing herself, instead of. well. "i hope we both die," this song is also just too fuckin tragic so i dont have a lot of Text Evidence here cuz if i look at the lyrics i will cry so !! you get the idea tho.*

—- Mind Electric Demos/Inside the Mind of Simon ~ Miracle Musical

*They’re not on Spotify, but if I had my way, I would add much more of the Mind Electric demos, they all show different facets and I love them all they are my children and like. It’s Simon. He Has a Mind. It’s Broken Up and Insane, Yeah? Yeah. We already went over this in The Mind Electric in detail so i’ll save you all that but point is i want it As Much as possible on here :3 (also can we talk about how in demo 2 the agonizing screams sounded like simon AND THEN SHIFTED TO THE LOWER AND MORE GRAVELLY CADENCE OF ICE KING. WTF. MADE FOR HIM)*

—- Biggering (Demo) ~ The Lorax

*I didn’t end up adding this one simply cuz the lyrics fit Winter King!Simon more than Our!Simon, even though the tone of the song and distress and cadence still really fits our simon.. it could be connected to him trying to get to Betty, but I feel like that’s not exactly Biggering in the same sense as trying to get away from something? It could still apply to him trying to get away from being the Ice King but i feel like it also doesnt quiiiite fit now that his motives have changed towards it anyway.. we’ll see what happens as the season progresses tho…..*

~~~~~~

by the way! i likely will add more to this playlist, but this is already a whole fuckton of analysis and connection to write out and it took me Days to actually shove it on paper so for future entires just Ask me why i included it if it doesn't become apparent in and of itself!

~~~~~~

--

anyway yeah is it apparent that i fucking love this guy yet? i’m just. i’m so Fucking bent out of shape over it i LOVE HIM. \:)

for some of these there is an extent of "you've gotta hear it to get what i mean" bc i can only describe so much here without being insanely redundant (and i feel like i have been anyway) so please do listen to the playlist i am very proud of it and insanely obsessed with it If You Can't Tell

hes so much more than just a sopping wet cat istg y'all. smiles so hard at you. anyway thank you for reading it means a lot you stuck with me to the end

[earthstellar]

Drift is the same dude who said "be shoosh" lmao, it's nice to see his lighter hearted side acknowledged!

Sure, part of it is him trying to lean hard into being a Harmless Hippie Autobot early on, but I do think it's also a glimpse at how he would behave more casually if his life had been less traumatic and difficult (and he hadn't been drilled into a permanent battle mode mindset during his time with the Deceptions)

Rodimus has a traumatic background as well, very similar to Drift's in many ways, so I feel like they both bring the silly out in each other-- Which might be part of why Drift was so quick to forgive Rodimus after returning from exile

Drift, on some level, is a silly speedster. Rodimus, although he lays it on thicker as part of his "I'm just a cool chill leader guy" persona, is also a silly speedster at heart.

They're both much more breezy and fun than most of their lives have ever allowed them to be, and because circumstances (the war and all that came before it) have taken their toll on bots like this, it makes sense that they both have been masking for most of their lives.

Rodimus hides his depression and self-doubt/self-loathing under an excessively outgoing and confident mask.

Drift hid his grief under his rage, which required him to suppress his compassion under an excessively violent and outwardly aggressive mask.

That is a simplification, but they are both sensitive people, deep down, who feel things very acutely and very deeply.

As MTMTE/Lost Light go on, we see both of them drop the mask a bit.

Drift feels more comfortable engaging in his own slightly silly tendencies, while Rodimus mellows out a little bit (only a little) and lets himself be a little more vulnerable.

They both gradually let their masks down a bit, although not completely, and it shows how good this whole adventure is for everyone.

The entire Lost Light mission ends up being essentially recovery time from prior traumas for many of the bots on board.

The most obvious example being Ultra Magnus, who literally drops his mask (as in, removing the Magnus armour) and becomes more comfortable existing as himself as he is, Minimus Ambus, without losing himself under the crushing pressure of embodying law and order (to the point that it further fuelled his obsessive traits, to the detriment of his mental health).

Most of the bots start out on the mission while still heavily masking their own traumas, still operating under "how we have to be while at war" and not "how we actually are as people".

It takes time to feel comfortable taking down these masks, remembering who you actually are underneath all the trauma and the weight of expectations both internal and external.

Drift and Rodimus, if Cybertron had been a healthier world and society, if the war had not happened, if their circumstances and key events had been more positive things in their lives, would quite possibly have been doofy speedsters doing fun silly speedster things and living with the innocence that peace and social support allows for.

We still see Rodimus struggle a bit with his masking, but he does get better at being honest more quickly. He does continue to improve while on the Lost Light, and we see how the mask snaps right back on as soon as he is removed from that comfortable, engaging, supportive environment-- He lies and says he is OK at Ratchet's funeral.

Recovery is not a clear line; Rodimus needs ongoing support, which he no longer receives once the Lost Light is decommissioned and the crew all go their separate ways.

Minimus Ambus has to put the Magnus armour back on, once the mission ends.

Drift, with the support of Ratchet, goes on to stabilise more consistently-- Although we don't know what the future holds for him, beyond the funeral.

But in the universe where the Lost Light continues, on a perpetual mission though space and time?

That support is never taken away, and the crew remains free to continue recovering, to continue living with each other and being there for each other and helping out and talking and just being who they are. No pressure between friends.

On the still-travelling, forever-flying Lost Light, that is the healthiest place for all of them to be.

On Cybertron, there is a pervasive fog, too much loneliness and bad memories and uncertainty. The pressure returns, healing stagnates for most.

But somewhere in space, on their infinite mission, Drift and Rodimus are probably rolling around on the floor together in a "sparring match" that somehow involves sticking magnets to each other's armour and is actually not about practicing sword forms or melee techniques at all.

It is important to have fun and be supported and feel safe enough to be yourself.

Drift is, deep down, a speedster that has the capacity to be just as silly as any other speedster, and Rodimus can bring that out in him.

Rodimus needs a little stability and more firm support sometimes, someone willing to call him out but with genuine understanding at heart (or spark), and Drift can (and does) provide that when needed.

Being silly can be a sign of recovery progress for some people; It's good to see Drift getting silly, every now and then.

The fact that he calls Ratchet "Ratty" is a cute, silly thing which shows how comfortable he is with Ratchet, how much he trusts Ratchet to see who he really is under all the masks and trauma.

Similar to how he calls Rodimus "Roddy" on occasion.

It's comfortable. It's safe, with these two, to be a little goofy.

And that's good; In a way, Drift's spiritual musings are right: Primus (Rung) would smile upon them from the All Spark, seeing the progress they are making together. His old patients may not need him as much, going forward, as long as they are all together.

i love drift so much hes this serious scary looking dude whod say shit like OwO out loud and is just a dumbass. “why would someone like drift, who was deadlock, do a good combo with someone like Rodimus” they share the absolute same amount of braincells. You think Drift’s the smarter one but really hes just equally as silly as Rodimus, he just doesnt get the sillyguy stamp because hes scary. but him and rodimus as idiots. the sillygang. the stupidduo. the rawr xd combo.

[voasprofile]

midnight rain

aka reasons why you and azul broke up

coral sea was like a city but just underground

and as any city has, it has it's 'wastelands'

or the less fortunate parts

I live there, our house surrounded by coral that acts like a fence, dividing the land

every city trope was there, pageant queens, people who pretend they're big shots, and you know the drill

even with the not so satisfactory life, it was like heaven for me

azul was like a slow acting love potion, slowly making you fall for him and before you knew it, you were obsessed

my love for him is ineffable, but then again

this was our first love, and you know what they say about that?

it's just that they never last

azul was perfect, he was sweet, caring, and just the cutest when flustered

I was somewhat the opposite

a rebel, no good, a player

he really did change me, I didn't notice, but i dropped all my bad habits

only focusing on him

I guess that's why we didn't make it 

he was nice, and I wasn't

by the time we were picking high schools, we discussed about picking schools close to each other

he picked nrc and I went with royal institute, in the same island

"but we planned our whole lives together, why back out now?" azul asked holding my hand

"zul.. I... don't know, I- we.. re just too different" lie

I feel like you'll regret being with me in the future

yes we contrast each other, but I like it

he was the sun, I was the moon

he likes being comfortable, I liked torturing my self

he wanted to settle down after graduation, I wanted to shine like a star

he wants a normal life, I didn't 

huh I guess our differences really does play a part on it

two months after breaking up he still sends letters to me

I did mention I liked torturing myself, but I never thought he liked it too

pictures of his achievement, letters about his friends, his business

four months in those letters got less and less frequent

looking back to the letter, pictures, our memories, I was wrong. I miss him

I guess we all get what we wish for

he only thinks of me when he sees me on tv with his old classmate

holding her hand with a ring on it

while I hold a bottle of wine

I guess I forgot the other saying about true love

it's that you'll never forget it

in the middle of my exams yet i still feed y'all

ok i think i made this gn i'll re read this maybe at saturday

and if i didn't make it clear, NO you two didn't break up bc of your differences

you two broke up because you were insecure and selfish

your relationship could've still been salvage like three months in the break

but you ignored his letters, him wanting to contact you. because you were selfish and didn't want it to hurt

not regarding his feelings about the sudden break up, not seeing you, and you ignoring him

'he was the sun, i was the moon' bullshit no one would describe him like that (if they're not lovers head over heels)

'he likes being comfortable' say that to the walking headaches- i mean the eels

'he wanted to settle down after graduation' um no he didn't. the ring was a proposal ring whatever you call it. plus i view the time skip around five years after graduating

'he wanted a normal life' 🤔🤔what part of his life will be normal with him and his friends?

so no the differences had nothing to do with it

this could've had a happy ending if you weren't so damn insecure

[blushblushheadcanons]

I love your Yandere headcannons! Can I request Cashew , Boss , and Felix as Yandere please? 💓💓

ofc!! I dont really like Boss so im sorry if it comes out a little out of character ausnsj

Also I'm really sorry but I could not come up with anything for Felix that guy is way too chill, if you want any other character you can always request again!

Also, usual TW: stalking, physical abuse, delusional behavior, etc etc yall know the drill

♡ Cashew & Boss Yandere Headcanons ♤

Cashew

One word: obsessive

After reading about you, fantazing about you... He daydreams about how being with you would be like

Except, at one point, that's all he can think of. Every single moment, his mind is plagued with toughts of you

After all, he's always been a hopeless romantic, hoping to live the Jane Austen tm fantasy he always invisioned im his head

So after finding those notes about you, he thought that was it! It couldn't just have been a coincidence! You're both mean to be!

Except... He's way too shy to make an advance. I mean, can you blame him? You're so perfect in his eyes, so ethereal... How could he live up to that?

He didn't mean to stalk you, he really didn't, but he found himself doing exactly that while following you around, trying to muster up to courage to at least say hi. Last thing he notices, he's watching you sleep through your window

Feels slightly guilty about it. But, if its for love, then it's okay in his eyes

Actually believes you're both soulmates. If he did manage to talk to you, he wouldn't take no for an answer. You just need some time to come to terms with it, that's all!

Leaves you notes and gifts in places he knows you visit a lot (and trust me, he knows all of them) which always seem a little bit too accurate. Suddently that one thing you have been meaning to buy but couldn't because of your budget showed up at your doorstep. After you casually mention to a friend that you're craving sweets, someone anonymously delivers a box of chocolates to you at your work/school not even a few hours later. It would be endearing if you didn't find it slightly startling

He tries to talk to you, but you make him so so nervous. He can feel himself physically swoon over you, his heart pratically shifiting

Hopefully you don't mind having a secret admirer

Danger level: 0/10

Boss

I'd love to say he would kill someone for you, but this man probably hasnt thrown a punch in his entire life. just look at him. I could drag his ass easy.

Uses the "being mean" method because he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings and mistakes his affections for hatred. After all, love and hate are one and the same. So would any greek poet agree, looking at how deeply Ares and Aphrodite were in love with each other. They're both darkness and devouring, just in different ways.

And God, how he hated you.

After firing you, he thought that was it. That would put a stop to whatever he was feeling, since he wouldn't have to see you anymore.

Big mistake.

He starts missing you almost instantly. Have things always been this dull while you were away?

Messages you the next day. He knows that "you should have come to work even after I fired you" sounds absolutely ridiculous, he's not that oblivious, but he can't think of anything better. He just needs you there again.

Turn down any of his advances (no matter how kindly you do so) and he'll have a tantrum

Screaming, breaking things, calling you names. I don't think he's above hiting you, either. He has never been known for beint patient, after all.

After everything he did for you, you still treat him like this? You're lucky he even looks at you. He can have so much better and still settled for you. Maybe if you weren't so ungrateful, he wouldn't have to get so harsh.

If you just play along, he's actually quite passive. Sure, he gets angry about a lot of things, very easily, but not at you

The people close to you aren't exactly in danger, either. Again, this little bitch boy couldn't kill someone even if he tried

He does get jealous though. Very easily. So keep that in mind, because the consequences will fall on you.

Danger level: 6/10

[euthoriaz]

Cleon in Infinite Darkness Ted-Talk

Don't mind me but I want to let this out to y'all.

I've seen the newest Infinite Darkness trailer 10000000 times ( well, duh, of course. I'm there for Cleon moments ) and yet I've realized these all just now. But y'all gotta bear with me because this post is gonna be looong. Like I mean, LONG.

Can y'all see his little smile when he says "Claire?"🥺

I think that speaks alone of how happy he is when Claire's there out of the blue. It's always nice whenever someone sees a familiar face in their work place. Especially if that familiar face doesn't work in the same place as him and that familiar face is someone he trusts a lot.

I'm sure Leon's expression here means they're comfortable with each other. At least they are. They trust each other and most importantly they support each other. I'm not saying they act like lovers but this could lead to something more than just ordinary friends. Best friend? Could be. Lovers? This also could happen and has lots of potentials since in RE2 REMAKE, he also flirts with her. And it's very obvious that Claire is also into him A LOT ( honestly, who doesn't? ). That fence scene is one helluva big hit, ahem 👀

Anyway, back to Infinite Darkness, I legit screamed that Capcom gives this subtle hint. Maybe I was blinded by my excitement the first time I saw the newest trailer so I didn't realize it. But yeah, homeboy actually smiles genuinely when he calls her name. His expression is like he can't believe she's really there in front of him. NOT TO MENTION HIS HEAD NOD WHEN HE SAYS HER NAME🥺

NGL, I thought I was tripping when I first saw it. I thought I was blinded by my Cleon obsession so my eyes tricked me🤣. I replayed the scene backward again and again and again (I didn't regret it ofc).

But yes, dear God, my eyes didn't trick me and this is real😭😭. I WAS SO FREAKING HAPPY YET I WAS SHOCKED. I had to pause the trailer to find the right moment to screen capture it.

Beside, c'mon y'all. When's the last time Leon smiles genuinely to a woman that's not Claire? Yeah he smiles to lots of women. BUT it's always a smirk or a teasing one. Never once a genuine smile. But not to Claire. He always genuinely smiles at her. In Re2Make, Darkside Chronicles, even in Degeneration.

Hell, Degeneration is full of Cleon moment even though they only share several scenes together. I'll talk about this in different post so keep your eyes on it!

Look at his left hand. LOOK AT IT.

I can assure y'all that this is not because of inertia ( one of physics law which makes our body move because of a sudden stop ). Leon is also not gonna grab the damn document in Claire's hand. That's not a gesture someone would make if that were the case.

I'm not sure but to me it feels like he wants to shake her hand? Or maybe hugging her or grab her shoulder? It looks like it because his arm stops mid-air as if he has another intention to her. Not just because he stops in front of her. It's such an awkward movement if there isn't any reason behind it. So, at least, there must be one. I could be wrong or I probably read it too much tho so I leave it to your own interpretation.

Homeboy wanna say something else

Homeboy with infinite hair wants a conversation 100%. IMO, Leon clearly wants to say something else to Claire but for whatever reason, he chooses not to. Dammit Leon. His body language and the way he doesn't break his eye contact with Claire says it all. There's this moment of silence before he says "don't do anything stupid" to her. And by looking at his expression, it's clear that he has something on his mind but decides to keep it to himself in the end. This is more emphasized by the way his mouth opens a little bit while he slightly leans to Claire. If y'all want more, his face after he tells Claire to not do something reckless clearly states that he actually wants to continue their convo but he has another obligation he needs to fulfill. His smiling face before he goes is like saying "Look, believe me I want to keep talking to you. But you know the drill and how it goes. I'm sorry, Claire. Gotta run. It's great seeing your face tho"

FURTHERMORE, the fact that he says "don't do anything stupid" to her speaks that he actually knows her well and how she is as a person. He knows what lengths Claire is willing to go to prevent another outbreak. He telling her not to be reckless means he cares about her. If he's not, he can just say "gotta go" to her and that's it. But no. He didn't do that even tho it's clear that he's in a rush.

Claire teases him and he smiles back at her

Believe me or not but if y'all see his face closely, he actually does respond to her by smiling before it cuts to "A Netflix Original Anime Series" text. Damn Capcom always gives us the subtle hints. And again, I didn't realize this at the first because it only plays for a brief moment.

Yup. Thank me later because I'm not done yet🤣

THIS

Can we talk that Leon practically jumps and runs on a collapsing bridge? Not to mention, there's a pool of acid below it. Homeboy really gives it all out.

I just love the fact that Capcom highlights this scene before it cuts to Resident Evil Infinite Darkness title text. Like it's something so dramatic.

Want something more?

This

AND FINALLY THIS

THESE SUBTLE HINTS ARE GOING TO SEND ME TO MY DEATH. CAPCOM DON'T FREAKING TEASE US LET THEM BE TOGETHER FOR PETE'S SAKE!

Anyway, reason why I ship both of them together is because their relationship is always based on trust. Leon is always sincere to Claire everytime they meet. And it seems like at the end of the day, Claire will always be the person he trusts no matter what. They have such a natural and healthy relationship. Claire never lies to him and has shown great concern to him several times in RE 2 REMAKE. On the other hand, Leon too has shown his concern of her in Degeneration. But let's continue that in other post.

I know this post is veryyy looooong. Please don't mind me because they're my otp for a very long goddamn time, dammit🤣

I lost count of it.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk✨

[oliviaillustrations]

Garden of Eden

my piece for the @grishaversebigbang ! this is based off of the lovely dark academia ninej au fic written by @kugisakigf and @emdrabbles titled Garden of Eden

you can find my gang members and their amazing pieces below! 💗

Materialki: @landryaugust (here and here) @oranges-and-stuff (here)

AO3 Link: here!

Summary:

Nina is doing just fine as a directionless art student—she goes to class four times a week, struggles to get oil paint out of her clothes on laundry day, makes sure to dodge her landlord when he asks about rent, and dreads the day she has to graduate. Maybe she feels as important to the grand scheme of things as a stray brushstroke, and she's no closer to any shred of a clue about what she's going to do with her life. But it's fine. She's fine.

Except when Nina’s painting class gets a live model, she spends more time staring at this very pretty, very intimidating newcomer more than she does at her own canvas. Inej is gorgeous and terrifying and has her life together and now Nina can’t remember the last time she was able to think about anything but her. Pressure starts to ramp up and the world she's tried so hard to hide herself from keeps pounding at every wall she's built to protect herself, and now she's left wondering if she'll ever amount to anything. Will history forget Nina Zenik? Will she ever do something worthwhile with what little she's been given? And does it even matter, when Inej Ghafa seems to draw her ever closer, an Icarus to her blazing sun?

First Chapter: Nina Zenik is crumpled in a mass of blankets, shivering and bone-tired, when she realizes that sometimes, living in the attic of a church is worth it. She can deal with the rotting wood that creaks and rolls under her feet, the sounds splintering out across the room as she walks. She can forgive the smell of must and cobwebs, the heavy fragrance of mold and must and incense lingering around every corner, even on the rare occasions when she has time to clean. She can almost ignore the deep ache of wintertime, the heat barely making its way to her with long, spiraling fingers, the cold permeating through every crack in the walls that let in the sharp December chill. She's made her peace with the occasional mouse that sprints underfoot, the moths spending weeks on the windowsill, the shitty water pressure and gas stove that only works once a week if she was lucky.

Because mornings like this seemed to make everything worth it.

The rising sun, shallow and shy in the pale morning light, would reach out and glance off of an ancient stained glass window, just at her bedside. The sky would sing, and the carefully laid image of The Virgin Mary would glow, sweet features framed in green and violet. Nina would wake to vibrant shadows dancing across her skin and colors pooling on her floor like spilled blood. Sometimes, she would just sit there, hours before classes would start. The world faded to a hazy gray, and all that was left was the sunrise and her. She'd just look at the sun, and she'd pause for a moment, and just breathe . It never quite felt like she could get a full breath of air anymore. She would just take a breath, and she'd stop thinking, and she'd just be . She wasn't Nina Zenik, right now. She was sunlight and morning air and that particular shade of crimson shot through with gold when the light shines in.

She blinks, and the sun has moved. She's washed in pitch again, deep blue drowning the lines and arches of her body into a loose silhouette. She's empty, again, just a fragile body in a silent room. The floor dips and bends beneath her feet as if to sing a hollow tune in some form of an answer. It does not feel like enough. It never does.

She wipes a smudge of dust off the windows, her finger stained red even in the fading light. Her heart beats in concert with the pulsing of her head, and she winces, hard. Lack of sleep is catching up to her, it seems. The last few nights—weeks, if she's being true—have been short and restless, a sick sort of fear settling in whenever her eyes begin to close. It burns like every word she's never said and it spoils like a promise in her stomach. Everything is too much, and it's all she can do to stand on two feet and will her fingers to curl around a pencil. And even that's a pretense.

She hasn't been able to paint in months. Everything she makes seems twisted and wrong , an abomination of oil paints and a mockery of everything she's worked to accomplish. (She buries the voice that says she hasn't truly accomplished anything deep in her chest and tries to forget it can still breathe). She's felt stuck, a broken record that keeps skipping the same line of a song she's heard a hundred times. She can feel everything falling away from her, but doesn't know how to hold on to it all. She's losing it all with nothing she can do to stop it.

Nina doesn't have time for this- this crisis , something hisses in her ear, teeth grazing against her neck. But the problem is, she never has time for any of this. It all keeps piling up and then she’s buried under the weight of it and then she's having a panic attack in a public restroom and turning in late assignments and making excuses and she can’t do that . She can't do that again. So she compartmentalizes, picks out tiny little problems, and thinks about them for a short while, washes it down with wine, and calls it a night. Everything she doesn't deal with disappears in the morning. And she likes it that way.

But morning has come, and she still feels like a goddamn inside-out sock and she doesn't know what to do about it. Nina has been floundering for years, though, so this isn't any different than anything else.

Her phone flickers and the curling numbers read 7:49. Shit. She has a nine a.m. class and she's still in bed. Normally, she'd get to rot into her pillows for another hour at least, but she needed it for her major, and by the time she'd finally finished agonizing over which courses to take, it had been the only time slot open. So, here she is, aching limbs and sunburnt eyes, stepping onto the cold embrace of hardwood floors. She shivers, and the weak threads of sunlight that weave through the windows don't make the room any warmer.

The shower isn't warm, either. She bears the wet chill anyway. The water is soothing and it washes away the dregs of sleeplessness from her eyes. She stands under the spray, lets it drip down her back, and feels something like comfort as the soap slips down around her ankles and the room begins to smell like lavender. She waits for the water to finally run low, and steps out, puddles tracing her footsteps as she makes her way to her dresser.

Her hair lies damp on her shoulders, thick strands tangled and dark against her skin. It started curling, lately, and she's not sure why, but she doesn't quite mind. Sometimes, she closes her eyes, and imagines vines and leaves woven through the loose curls. A vision of Dionysus with dirt-stained fingers and violet stains under her eyes. A fairy twined with sumac and oak, wings that glow gold in the sunlight. She's always wanted to be special. She's always wished to be more than she is. But now, her own haggard reflection is what stares back at her. She's not sure if she likes what she sees.

She's not sure that it matters.

Nina gets dressed, rifling through her closet in search of something warm. It’s not like she’s obsessed with how she looks, but she does try and pick something nice. Today, she settles on a pink sweater patterned with strawberries, and earrings to match. (She’s nothing if not consistent.) It’s soft and thick, and it smells like summertime. It’s perfect for this, the kind of day that soaks through your skin and wears away at your bones. She slips into thick boots and a pair of jeans, and she's gone.

She takes the spiral staircase outside of her apartment one creaking step at a time, counting as she goes. One, two, three, four, avoid the loose nail on five, six, seven, eight. She should get that fixed, she thinks. But that would require seeing the landlord. And no one wants to see the landlord. The thought whispers away as fast as it came.

The staircase spits her out in the church vestibule. It’s all dark wood and low ceilings, pale morning light filtering through the narrow windows. Soft music floats through the heavy doors separating Nina from the nave of the church, and if she listens closely, faint chanting is woven between the notes. The song sounds familiar. She’s unsure if it’s a psalm drilled into her from middle school bible camp or because the organ drums the same tune beneath her floor every day.

Nina stands a moment longer, eyes momentarily fluttering closed as she listens, grasped by an unnamable sensation equal parts reassuring and paralyzing. And then she’s out the door, down the marble steps, and on the street.

The cold air stings her cheeks and her shoulders wince against the wind. She really should've grabbed a coat before she left, but it's fine. She still hasn't eaten, and she has a class in half an hour. If she turns back now she'll be late. So, Nina grits her teeth, ignoring how hard they're rattling against each other, and tugs the sleeves of her sweater down to cover her shaking hands. The coffee shop’s only a five-minute walk, and it'll be warm inside, and that's the only thing that keeps her moving forward. Her feet beat on the concrete with a steady rhythm, and she focuses on that instead of the aching cold.

The awning of the Dregs greets her, bold block letters on top of old red brick. Scuttling through the door, she’s welcomed by a gust of warm air. The barista looks up at the gentle tingle of the bell and flashes her a quick smile before resuming their work. They don’t look familiar. Must be a new hire. It feels like every time she gets comfortable around here, something changes. The world rolls and ripples under her feet, and she doesn’t remember the last time she’s caught her balance.

Nina takes a deep breath and rubs her hands together, which are now bright pink, then places them on the tips of her ears, which are also bright pink. The morning is quiet, with only a scattering of patrons to be found in the mixed-matched chairs. Some of the dark red wallpaper is beginning to peel off the plaster behind the counter. The Dregs she knows and loves.

“Good morning.” Behind the counter stands the barista, hands fidgeting with a dishtowel.

Nina blinks. “Mornin’,” she croaks, voice weak. She takes a look at the drink menu, even though she’s been here every morning since freshman orientation, because she needs to look busy and not as if she’s more burnt out than a pile of ash. Thankfully, the barista notices her quiet plea and doesn’t try to strike up any more conversation.

A few beats of silence pass, only interrupted by the occasional clink of coffee mugs. Despite already knowing what she’s going to order--the same damn caramel macchiato with far too much sugar than she should start her day with because why would she ever change the habits that hurt her the most--Nina stares at the menu overhead. Her eyes slowly unfocus, not actually reading the menu so much as wondering if she should even try to, so she doesn’t realize how much time has passed until the barista clears their throat with a little more vigor than necessary.

“So…” they start, rocking on the balls of their feet and making a point to not look directly at Nina. “Can I get you started or…?”

She snaps her head back down. “Oh, shit - sorry, yeah.” She allows herself one more moment to reconsider, then orders the caramel macchiato, but not before fumbling with her change. A cascade of pennies and nickels and dimes all crash to the floor and all noise in the cafe ceases at once. Nina doesn’t need to turn around to know how many pairs of eyes rest on her.

“I’ll, uh - get that for you right away.” The barista couldn’t have shuffled away any faster, disappearing into the back.

Nina swears once, loud, then stoops down and collects her change. Fucking figures. This morning has felt awfully representative of life in recent years - bitter, shitty, reliant on loose change. Yet her pride, or perhaps self pity, leaves her stagnant, unable to change. She refuses to get her hopes up about the coffee. With her luck it’ll be bitter and shitty, too.

The barista comes out soon after, coffee in one hand and muffin in the other. They set both on the counter and offer Nina a meek look. “Muffin’s on the house.”

“Oh. Thank you,” she says, scooping both into her hands. And she means it.

“Of course,” they say. Then they lean over the counter and point across the cafe. “And, uh - the drinks in the case over there, the orange ones. Yeah, those. They’re good for hangovers.”

Nina looks from the barista, to the case, then back to the barista. So that’s what this is. She scrunches her face into a weak smile, though it probably looks more like a grimace, and takes her drink without another word. Of course they think she’s hungover, because who would have such a shitty morning if they were sober? That thought is chased with a wave of guilt, heavy. They were being nice. Why can’t she just say thank you and move on? She pushes the door open and the bone chilling day greets her with a sting of cold that bites at her cheeks, her nose, ready to greet her next misfortune.

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 3 for the first time. Random thoughts.

Episode 1: I know in the original series She-Ra was the sister of He-Man so I'm curious how much of that will be carried over to this series. Not saying He-Man has to make an appearance, same as how Batman didn't need to show up in Teen Titans. That was Robin's story, not his, and similarly this is Adora's story, not Adam's. Regardless, it makes sense why Hordak was so annoyed with the baby Adora in Shadow Weaver's flashbacks. To SW, there was something different and special about the baby, but to Hordak, whom seems familiar with the world before Mara separated Etheria from the rest of the universe, including Eternia potentially, Adora is just another "First One" child like he's seen many times before. Special in comparison to those who only know Etheria.

Great clap-back from Catra to Hordak, and not entirely unfounded. It's debatable how much he actually cares about conquering Etheria. He has others leading his forces in his war yet all his focus is on his portal creation.

According to Entrapta, productivity of the Horde is up 400% ever since Catra became Hordak's 2nd in command. I wondering how much of that is Catra's direct doing? Is she genuinely just that good of a commander? Is it because she's properly delegating and Scorpia has been handling most of the load? Or is this just because it's in comparison to Shadow Weaver? Entrapta said Catra's focus on First Ones' tech has been greatly aiding them and SW definitely focused more on magic, which was an aid mostly to herself since everyone else in the Horde seems to fight only with weapons and technology. And most of what she saw of SW while she was Hordak's 2nd was her being obsessed with bringing back Adora rather than fighting the war.

Episode 2: Let's see... Hordak's easily an adult and Entrapta is...[checks google] late twenties, early thirties. Oh good, then let's sail this ship!

But yeah, that was a heck of a backstory for Hordak. This reminds me of a video by a Youtuber named Savage Books comparing the villain Steppenwolf in the theatrical and Snyder Cut versions of Justice League and how, while he still wasn't a great villain, just a small addition made him a much better villain, that being a failure in his past and the desire just to go home. And in this case, Hordak is the much better, or at least way more developed, version of that. One of many clones of Hordak Prime but having a defect that labelled him a failure and had him cast out to Etheria, a "backwards world" as he's called it before. If he can conquer Etheria, perhaps by building a portal that'll bring forward Prime's army, he believes that'll prove to Prime that he is not a failure and that he can return home to rejoin his forces. Just this bit of backstory adds SO MUCH to Hordak, including new insights on his past interactions, and keeps him from being a flat character like theatrical version Steppenwolf. His lack of tolerance for failure makes sense when he himself is trying to prove that he's not. It gives him compelling motivation to want to conquer Etheria beyond just power and greed. Not motivation you're meant to agree with but one you can still understand.

I like the story with Huntara too. It's a nice little tie-in to something Adora was talking about with Glimmer and Bow last episode. Adora defected from the horde, not because she was different but rather very much in spite being very much like every other soldier there. She wanted to believe Shadow Weaver may have at least some goodness in her too and now we have Huntara as a fellow defector who realized the evils of the Horde, even if she chose to stay out of the war entirely after.

Episode 3: I legit thought Catra stabbed the goat lady for a second.

After Scorpia asking her why don't they just stay in the wastes I'm seeing a bit of a parallel between Catra and Hordak. They've both found a place where they can be the top dog, where they can do and have basically anything they want; her with the wastes and him with the Horde. They can be happy. ...But there's still this pull they're feeling to somewhere else. Catra back to the Horde and Hordak back to Prime. Because they feel they have to prove something; prove that they're not failures. They could be happy but they can't let go.

And that scene between Adora and Catra at the end. That was such a great line read from Catra's actor. "She left me for you. Everything that's happened is because of you." I got chills.

Minor note: While I'm only judging off the Mara hologram, which didn't have color, I do think the She-Ra outfit looks better with pants than shorts like Adora's She-Ra form. I think it makes it look sleeker, if that makes any sense.

Episode 4: Catra's spiral has turned into a drill and its taking her down as far as she can go. Though something I had to a laugh a little at myself over was that my biggest "Catra, no!" reaction wasn't to her wanting to open the portal but rather when she lied to Hordak and said Entrapta let the princesses in. She was actually a positive influence on Hordak's life and Catra with one move just destroyed that relationship and all progress Hordak had been making.

I'm guessing there's going to be some kind of long-term effect from Shadow Weaver continuously siphoning off Glimmer's magic. The woman is basically a parasite and the magic she uses is very different from the kind Glimmer does. I can't believe it never occurred to me that since Shadow Weaver trained Glimmer's father there might be a connection there between the two of them later in the story. While we don't know about anything that might've happened after she left, SW clearly had enough affection for Micah still to not kill him. I could see her trying to take Glimmer on as a student later like she did him.

Episode 5: There is something kind of hilarious about it being Scorpia's jealousy of Catra and Adora's closeness that causes her to be the first one after Adora to pick up that something is off.

11 is my favorite of the Doctor Who Doctors so naturally I'm comparing all this to the crack in Amy Pond's bedroom wall. Whatever goes in gets forgotten about and basically never existed. Though does that mean Bright Moon isn't going to remember the Horde? Basically that entire place got sucked up in the collapsing reality. There shouldn't be at war anymore because their enemy literally no longer exists.

Adora and Catra had their own little Star Trek 3 moment there.

Adora: "If we don't help each other, we'll die here!"

Catra: "Perfect! Then that's the way it shall be!"

Catra's just so far down her spiral she doesn't even care about getting her own win, just so long as Adora doesn't get one, despite just minutes ago clearly loving having Adora back in her life and on her side, to the point was trying to resist remembering the old reality. Her "perfect" world was them together again but when given the chance (another of many. I love those cuts to their past woven in there) she slapped the hand away.

I'm sure I'm wrong but I'm starting to theorize Madam Razz is actually Mara and just at some point went kind of crazy and started thinking as and Mara were two different people.

Episode 6:

"You are everything I ever wanted in a son. This... This is everything I ever wanted in a life. ...But I've got responsibilities, Van. And...I have to...go now."

-Superman, Justice League Unlimited: For the Man Who Has Everything

That was my favorite episode of JLU, where Superman is trapped in this world that isn't real but still perfect in every way, and the only way out was to give up everything he'd ever wanted, including a son he remembers watching grow up, even if it never really happened. With a similar premise, this definitely helped elevate Angela up a bit for me, whom I was kind just meh with before. I didn't dislike her but I didn't really care much for her either. This episode gave her a lot to work with though, with the heavy sacrifice she made. Not just saying behind to pull out the sword but just simply forcing herself to accept her husband is gone and not coming back. I was right that they wouldn't remember the Horde, but I definitely didn't think of the full effects of them never existing. They never exist, Bow never becomes a rebel instead of a scholar like his dads wanted. They don't exist, Micah never dies in battle against them. Glimmer gets to grow up with her father in her life. Everyone, most especially Angela, has to reject everything they would love to be real in favor of what actually is.

I'm guessing we're going to have Shadow Weaver taking advantage of this situation, trying to act like a teacher and mother-figure to Glimmer now that she's basically a orphan.

I talked before about how Catra and Hordak seem to have a parallel between them, especially regarding failure. Catra seems like she has a very hard time accepting her own failures and mistakes and thus why she more or less uses Adora as a mental scapegoat for all of it. Nothing is ever really her fault, it's Adora's, or Shadow Weaver's, or Hordak's. It makes for a great moment when Adora finally punches back, both literally and figuratively. She's not going to accept responsibility for Catra's actions anymore. She gave Catra every chance to make the right choice and she didn't, so now she has to finally live with the consequences. Heck of a glare She-Ra gave Catra at the end. Very much a "If I ever see you again..." and it certainly scared Catra, at least for a moment.

Now, someone go save Entrapta from Beast Island!

Season 3 verdict: Easily the best season thus far. I know this was technically the second half of season 2 but even in comparison to the full season 1 there was just so much that happened in this, so much that got revealed, and so, so many moments of emotion or tension. Weirdly I feel kind of disappointed that Hordak Prime is probably going to come in now and be the new big villain. I really like our Hordak's motivation and Prime seems like he might just be the generic conqueror for power that Hordak seemed like he was going to be at first. Not saying those types can't work. I love All For One from My Hero Academia and Frieza from Dragon Ball. Those guys are pure evil and selfishness, but they also have a captivating presence/charisma to them.

Naturally, since I bring her up the most out of all the characters, I'm very curious to see what happens with Catra now. She's basically nuked every positive relationship she had with anyone. Entrapta's gone, she threatened Scorpia, Hordak's not going to trust anyone including her anymore now that he thinks Entrapta's betrayed him, and Adora firmly sees her as an enemy. She has no one (those under her direct command don't count) and it's entirely her own fault.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/o0trfz/going_in_blind_watching_season_3_for_the_first/

[sirro85-blog]

Humans are Space Orcs:

Part 3

For my readers of Human, Frell or Ilun origin the clearest way I can describe Pelcar-3 is as a trading port, the entrance for many goods and travellers with different species and cultures interacting, for other races please see the appendices for appropriate analogy. It has all the hallmarks of a trading port, the ability to buy or source anything, those willing to sell anything for a price be it information, substances or themselves, prostitutes of a dozen species rubbed shoulders with scores of mercenaries , traders and pilots.

The other similarity Pelcar-3 shares with those ancient ports is the crime, both organised and random; so, when 3 dead Flet were found in an empty drinking establishment no real outcry was raised. When a Flet was found tied to a street bench the local security assumed the Flet, so often hired muscle were engaged in a possible criminal struggle for control. Several more Flet bodies were discovered over the course of several days but when 8 more Flet bodies were found at one time more interest was paid, these Flet were better equipped and certainly appeared healthier than the normal criminal underclass, these bodies had the hall marks of Flet military and while no insignia were found or acknowledgement was forthcoming from the Flet Imperium the risk that a Flet hit squad had been eradicated on Pelcar-3 was a concern.

Like the cities of Earth and Ilun wealthy individuals did not live in the port but cared about it's business, indeed two of Pelcar-3's moon's provided accommodation to some of the wealthiest denizines of the galaxy. Security was increased and all armed groups or individuals were searched and monitored on their arrival to the planet.

The residents of Pelcar-3 went on with their lives untroubled, including those of the human mercenary unit known as the Dark Horses, especially now they knew all armed individuals were being monitored on arrival. Life inside their armed and defended compound was broadly unchanged although after several years of getting to know humans I can tell you that under the surface things were not as they seemed.

A peculiar human affliction is the release of stress through physical exertion and particularly unique is the common requirements for that physical exertion to involve others. These could involve acts of love making although after I was informed I was not allowed to observe these acts and take notes no matter the frequency of the events I had to turn my attention to the second physical interactions, sports.

Team games happened frequently, "B-ball"; "Footy" and "Rugby" all occurred regularly however most frequent of all were the activity called "Sparring" this involved getting into a large square and attempting to beat your opponent into submission, there were various standards to these submissions and until the recent events with the "Kittys" -as the Flet were known as a derogatory- the standards were observed and no real harm or injuries were caused. However as the days stretched this changed. The first victim was Captain Dorman who received a broken arm at the hands of Captain Wolf.

Sergeant Panther broke Barbie's jaw in three places; Riflemen Buckets and Ocampo had to be pulled apart and when Knickers choked Captain Becca out something in itself I had not seen before her celebration while standing over the limp body of her friend was savage and animalistic.

It reached a head when Major Kovac sparred with Captain Wolf something that apparently happened very rarely, it was seen as an event by the humans, wagers were placed and almost all those not on duty turned up to witness it.

I have seen both the Major and the Captain face enemies and inflict precise focused injuries while keeping their own wellbeing to a premium. In this bout they appeared to forget this, both appeared to abandon form for all out assault, and both were soon bleeding and injured, Wolf appeared to have several cracked ribs and Kovac was limping badly, I feared they may kill each other before the end which infact came suddenly, Kovac and Wolf sprang apart for a moment and then as they closed Wolf tried to target Kovac's injured leg and was driven back, the larger man threw him to the floor appeared to dislocate the Captain's shoulder before ending the fight with a single punch.

Staff Sergeant Frank King stopped the bouts after that, the accelerated healing methods they had available to them may have meant the two officers were back on their feet in a few days but "Staff" wasn't willing to treat anymore self inflicted injuries.

The sudden loss of their distractions seemed to focus the humans again. The NCOs barked out orders and had their men drilling and practicing at all hours, the officers were regularly meeting late into the night and arguing.

"We've got friends across the damn galaxy, half the council owes you personal favours damnit! We aren't on our own here." Captain Becca said, tears standing out in her eyes.

"Those favours are turning a blind eye to our acquiring off market explosives or allowing me to fortify this building without needing to apply for planning permission. I'm not sure they'll start another war with the Imperium for me. There are favours we can call in but first we need information, which means calling in our first few favours, contact any low level council members you know and find out what the Galactic Council knows about the Flet politics. I'll contact the Ditiri, see what those criminals know." Kovac said calmly.

I saw a certain level of obsession from the soldiers surrounding me over the following few days, men repeatedly checking and rechecking their weapons, rifles being cleaned; magazines rebombed; and blades sharpened. Kit was packed and checked and repacked and personal items were pulled from pockets or from round the neck, kissed or checked and replaced and all the while the Sergeants and the other NCOs prowled the lines, experienced eyes scanning for any mistakes. Sergeant "Fluke" Glover put his whole troop on basics because two foot lockers were found unlocked. Sergeant Panther had her's running laps and doing press ups at two in the morning.

By the time a second meeting was called the Dark Horses accommodation was a highly strung military fortress and for good reason, on three separate occasions armed Flet were caught within rifle range of the buildings, their bodies dumped in the warehouse districts across Pelcar-3.

"They're still getting through to us, we're not safe here." Dorman insisted, "when they workout Hemmings and Richards are in their eyries they won't be so obvious about scoping us out."

"In the meantime I have information," Captain Gillespie interrupted, "from what we've been told, the target on your back is politically motivated. The Royal family of the Flet Imperium are not the absolute rulers they would like to be, the heir that you killed on some battlefield was by all accounts very popular and by first whipping up anger and sympathy for her death and then setting you as the target they hope to show that they are the political entity that can give the people what they want."

"Easy if they're the ones telling the people what it is they want in the first place," scoffed Becca, "same as our lot used to do with immigrants and foreigners and all that crap..."

"Alright Bex, not right now." Kovac interrupted, "so it's just one faction, does that mean we have allies Gilly?"

"Hardly, they won't want to be seen assisting the enemy," Gillespie said with a sigh.

"However, take away the head of that faction, or get them to back down in some way..." Captain Wolf began.

"The people I spoke to said that could work, the Flet are always looking for outward enemies to stop infighting and backstabbing, take out the leader of the faction and the whole party will fall apart trying to claim the top spot." Gillespie finished.

"We'll need more information, Becca you and Dorman need to work your contacts, get us names and details, we need a target, probably 3 or 4." Wolf started hurriedly.

"Head of a faction!" "Targets!?" Becca stared around her, "are you forgetting this is the head of the royal family of the Flet Imperium, this isn't going to be possible."

"Bec, it'll be alright, the Major will come up with a plan, remember what they used to say in the 88th?"

"Slick drills, quick kills, fight hard and if all else fails put your faith in Kovac," Becca said with a faint smile.

"To be fair they said that mostly about me getting my hands on embargoed liquors," Kovac said awkwardly.

The meeting went on with minor details being hammered out, I drifted away to observe the base, cursed by my form of existence I found myself helpless when it started.

Sinsi was the commander of the Hyte of the Flet Imperium, she watched as her 5 Hyte silently scaled the walls of the human compound, until this moment, forced to use the dull soldiers from the allied military factions the royal family had not achieved success in killing the target, now though with the Hyte the Galaxy's finest assassins finally being employed the task would be complete.

The snipers high above the compound had been identified and steps had been taken to avoid detection from their omni-goggles, the human sentries were good but Sinsi's pride were better, even with the whole of the Imperium to choose from finding recruits was nigh impossible in a whole generation maybe a dozen would start training, that 6 had survived to form this pride was considered a blessing indeed.

They closed with the first sentry identified as unavoidable, a flash of claws and the body was quickly hidden, humans would not smell the blood as acutely as Flet. They closed with a second soldier, as Keerdop's claws raked down the soldier darted aside, raised her rifle, Keerdop realised she must silence the weapon, that instinct cost her life, as Keerdop clawed at the hands holding the rifle, and tried to silence the soldier, the bayonet mounted on the rifle drove into Keerdop's throat. At the same moment claws tore into the soldier's flanks, "Tell 'em Knickers sent you," growled the human.

Appalled that one of her sisters had fallen Sinsi was forced to calm herself as her rage told her to maul the human's body, she stopped, the human and the Flet were dead, secure the mission, she gestured for the two bodies to be hidden. "Humans are quicker than you think they are", the lesson taught first and first forgotten. Now they were close, the room they wanted was close, 5 Hyte closed on the room, no mistakes this time, the door opened silently and with night vision a human could only hope for Sinsi saw him, asleep in bed beside a female of his species. She advanced on preternaturally silent paws till she was standing over the humans, a Hyte sister at her side.

Two clawed arms flashed, the female human reacted, to what, Sinsi could not tell but the human moved suddenly pushing the male off the bed she stood up on the soft bedding, Sinsi took a moment to marvel that such small, few limbed creatures could be considered a danger, no natural protection and this one had fur only on her head the rest was covered in nothing but the tender pink skin. Sinsi flicked a wing out to disembowel the naked female, to her astonishment the human stopped the blow and then flexing her body rose in the air to plant both her feet into Sinsi's chest.

Sinsi crashed backwards, stunned at the power in these small forms, her sister had fared no better, Kovac the target had picked her up and thrown her much larger frame at those in the doorway. Realising the chance to employ claws had slipped by Sinsi drew her power lance and fired a bolt at Kovac who, like a coward dived for cover behind his bed before rolling into the adjacent room.

Sinsi advanced with Loirwa and Truvay all with power lances drawn, the finest shots in the Imperium would hit their target once he dared to show his face. However Loirwa was waylayed by the naked human female who had rolled off the bed and now charged hammering her lowered shoulder into the Flet's abdomen. They both crashed into the nearby wall and as the winded Flet bent double the human's skull collided with the Flet's descending chin, their was a sickening crack as Loirwa's head snapped backwards impacting the wall and the human planted her knee repeatedly into the Flet's groin. "Humans do not fight like us with tooth and claw, to them all of their bodies are a weapon", another early lesson and so easily disregarded. Distracted that another Hyte sister had been bested by the diminutive humans Sinsi only had time to call out a warning to her sisters as the target appeared round the door frame and opened fire with one of the human "pistols". Truvay recoiled as her power lance shattered as the human bullet struck it.

Sinsi realised the sisters at the door were under attack. She gestured at Truvay to kill the human female who had finished stamping on Loirwa's windpipe. She opened fire on the Major who had to dive clear of the bolts as they shattered the wall he stood behind, Sinsi gave Truvay a quick glance, the human female had found a weapon but it was not one known to Sinsi as part of the human arsenal, approximately 300mm long it was pink and appeared to be buzzing due to some vibration, made of a soft rubber-like material it bore a striking resemblance to a part of the anatomy of the naked human male. Whatever it was the human female was using it to provide extra reach, dodging blows from the Hyte and repeatedly stabbing the Flet in the vulnerable areas inside her limb joints.

Sinsi sprayed another hail of bolts into the next room and turned to see the Human diving out of reach and throwing the long pink shaft at Truvay, as the human rolled to her feet Truvay landed a blow that threw her across the room and into the wall, the human struck the wall a metre from the ground and fell heavily, "Kovac," she whimpered.

The target gave his position away by opening fire the bullets were wayward however and did not trouble Sinsi as she turned her lance and fired multiple bolts, the human had to throw himself flat to avoid them and this put him almost at Sinsi's feet. Truvay's collapse made her pause and she realised why the bullets had been wayward, that was when she saw the sisters holding the door had both fallen and then she remembered the lesson her old master had been so keen to teach her, "Kings and generals may fear our blades but the assassin should fear the cold efficiency of the professional soldier." She understood it as Kovac pulled the trigger.

As a species made mostly of gas and energy it is hard at times to watch the tactile galaxy interact, but never in my existence of Millenia have I tried so hard to intervene as when I watched the Flet's Hyte assassins try to murder Kovac.

Major Kovac staggered naked into the hallway, stepping over the dead Kitty assassins, "They had to take out some sentries to get this far. Find them, are the sentries OK!? Dana! Becca's hurt, go see to her, Wolf give me that bloody blanket I'm naked."

In minutes the bodies of the sentries were found, it was to my great joy that Knickers was found to be alive, terribly injured and weak but alive.

Humans do not appear as impressive as some other xenotypes in this galaxy but what is never taken into account is that for all their day to day weakness they can produce immense strength when excited, they may lack the speed of some races but they can combine what physical speed they have with prodigious speed of thought and action and most of all humans do not fight like those born with natural weapons, without claws humans turned their whole body into weapons.