#but they're all still friends

[monster-cock69]

we'll be perfect

AO3 link here

Pairings: Peter x Tony

Tags: Future AU, Wholesome As Fuck, Adoption, Accidental Baby Acquisition

Warnings: None

Rating: Teen

Summary:

Peter had gotten used to his mundane life. He woke up, had breakfast in bed, watched reality shows, and repeated. Becoming parents was their next step. Naturally, they had to do it in the least mundane way possible.

Over time, Peter had come to appreciate the lack of excitement in his life. Sure, he’d looked forward to downtime, but eventually, the itch to go back into the world and do something would overcome him and he’d be swinging out of the nearest window. 

Today, his biggest goal was to stay in bed as long as possible and catch up on trashy reality shows. 

They’d already binged more than they could count, and Peter found yelling at horny people was more fun than getting annoyed at medical or procedural inaccuracies. 

In front of him, Aunt May’s contact took up a corner of the television as JARVIS announced the incoming call. 

“Answer it, JARVIS.”

“Peter I have good news and bad,” she rushed out, “bad news is Tony’s going to have to buy some cops. Good news is I got you a baby.” Her voice trembled with nerves, and he nearly couldn’t hear her over the sounds of screaming and shouting in the background. The loudest, most unmistakable sound though was that of a wailing baby. 

He opened his mouth to respond, at a loss for words. Then the call cut out. 

Tony was already throwing clothes at him as he half stumbled, half hopped out of his pajamas. His hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions, and Peter knew he hadn’t brushed his teeth yet.

“Well, you know, they say to be careful what you wish for.” 

“JARVIS is printing out our paperwork, Pete, and I already have him calling Agent Junior. It’ll be an all hands on deck sort of thing.”

“Did you call the lawyers?”

“Nah, they might just complicate things. Plan is SHIELD realizes they can’t put the kid in foster care and we come in to save the day.” 

“Look,” he said after noticing Peter’s worry, “no matter what we’ll be okay. Right? We’ve always been.”

Peter ran his hands through his hair, trying his best to pretend he was calm. Tony’s plan would probably work but there were too many ways it could go wrong. They’d been cleared by both an adoption agency and ACS but the publicity of – them really – made things slow going and higher-ups weary.

“We’ll be perfect,” he said in lieu of the truth. 

Downstairs, the car that Peter had learned to ignore was in the front, ready to go. Tony had taken the same type of car that SHIELD used and somehow made it even safer. It had top-of-the-line crash protection and enough airbags to make it float. 

What he’d really been ignoring, though was the car seat fastened in the back. 

“J, transfer Junior.”

“Look, I don’t know what the fuck kind of deal you had with the last guy, but I’m not helping you steal a baby out of the hospital.”

“Jack, we wouldn’t have gotten that call for no reason.” Tony bit out, pulling onto the street, “That kid’s got some sort of powers or something else going on with it. Get your ass to LIJ and do your job.”

“Tony–”

“You got a real way of talking to people you want favors from. And you’re lucky the hospital’s security cam footage came up. Kid was a safe surrender.”

Tony shot the speaker a dirty look and flipped off the red light camera as they waited for Agent Jones to elaborate. 

“I’m flying in,” he said after a beat, “I’ll be there in a few. But, if SHIELD’S getting involved, you know the kid’ll have to at least get classified before you can go home with it.”

Tony opened his mouth to retort, knuckles going white from clenching the steering wheel. 

Then Jack cut the line.

“Looks like we’re getting the band back together,” Tony sighed, “cause those doctors are not touching that fucking kid.”

“JARVIS, get Bruce on the line,” Peter said instead of replying. 

It went to voicemail. 

“JARVIS, try Strange.”

“JARVIS, absolutely not. We’re not calling the wizard.” 

“JARVIS, just call him.”

The call went through as they haphazardly avoided an accident with a school bus. 

As the phone rang, he shot Tony a look. If his husband took control of this call things could end badly.

“I’m not doing you any favors, Stark.”

“How about doing me and a soon-to-be Stark a favor?”

“Did your husband finally figure out the secret to cisgender male pregnancy?”

“Not yet, but a baby was just surrendered at LIJ and is showing extreme signs of powers–”

“I’m not a pediatrician.”

“We just need you to do the classification tests. SHIELD doctors aren’t exactly welcoming.”

“I’m upstate, either get me a jet or–.” 

“JARVIS’ll get something, sit tight and we’ll see you soon,” Tony interjected.

“And thank you,” Peter finished. Predictably, Strange hung up as soon as he could.

“So we’re parents now,” Tony announced.

“Are you hoping for a gender?” 

“I’m just hoping it’s cute and doesn’t melt my face off.” 

“We’ve already got the room ready at least– oh fuck.”

The entire block was flooded with police cars, and what looked like a SWAT team was trying to maneuver through the thick traffic. 

Half of the cars didn’t have any lights on and it looked like most of the hospital was dark. A few of the cars had crashed but there didn’t seem to be signs of a serious pile-up.

At the center of the melee was former police captain George Stacy, holding a bullhorn and wearing – of all things, a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts.

He turned toward them, then shouted at the other officers to let the car through. 

“Thought you were retired,” he called toward Tony.

“And I thought you were retired.”

The former captain made a meh sound, then waved dismissively at them. 

“Park over there and fix this mess, please,” As Tony went to do so, he caught sight of Peter, “Still don’t like you, Parker.”

“Love you more, Sir.”

For a second, it was almost easy. Walking through the chaos and shouldering past whoever tried to get in their way was familiar in a way that almost nothing else was these days. The cops hated him as much as they always did, and people were equally relieved and apprehensive about seeing them. It was easy. 

Until he got to the small janitor’s closet just outside of the NICU. The power on that floor had been entirely cut, so there were no actual patients there, only increasingly annoyed cops and a small congregation of SHIELD agents. 

Agent Jones – who would likely dream of slitting their throats tonight – pounded on the door in front of him. 

“Alright, your saviors are here now. You can open up.” 

“Send me Peter!” She retorted. 

He ignored the dirty looks and shouldered through. He and the NYPD had always had a strained relationship. 

When he entered the room, May was holding a tightly wrapped and peacefully sleeping bundle. 

“A woman just came and dropped her off, said she couldn’t deal with her anymore. We got her hooked up to the monitors, and the second she was uncomfortable fuses started blowing. I didn’t know who else to call.” 

“We made a bunch of calls. Those SHIELD guys are our’s, and we’ve got Strange coming in to take a look at her. SHIELD’ll expedite the paperwork, and she’ll be home with us by tonight.”

“She’ll be alright?” 

Peter stared at the baby’s wrinkled brow, listened to her snuffling breaths, and felt something in his chest loosen.

“She’ll be perfect.”

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[starry-bi-sky]

don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au

this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--

his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!

So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.

Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.

Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.

And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.

Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.

Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.

He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?

Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.

Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.

They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.

Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.

He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.

His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.

Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.

It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.

He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.

Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.

He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.

He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.

Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.

It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.

It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.

"I've become my grandfather."

[slymanner]

hurt my heart why dontcha.

[chronologically-challenged]

Siffrin: Hey, Stardust, any ideas for this loop?

@chipper-smol This is how I picture the start of 80% of their conversations going after awhile in role reversal au.

[daily-sifloop]

Mmm draw some Sifloop angst please

Day 8: They wouldn't say that... would they?

Credit for the Mal du pays Loop dialogue goes to my amazing best friend <3

[habken]

hand in hand

They’re the biggest losers around !! Everybody hates them !

[bluerosefox]

Dinner?

Feeling a bit Spirit Halloweenish.

Danny blinked, stared blankly, blinked again before slowly very slowly closed his front door.

A few seconds later Danny opened the door again and once again meet a certain tallish young man, around his age if maybe a few years older, in front of him...

Who was it?

Bruce Wayne....

Bruce freaking Wayne, someone according to what he heard from Sam telling him from what she heard from her parents had apparently just dropped out of med school and was 'in the wind' according to rich elite gossip talks, was at his front door.

........

Why?

Wait... Did he just ask Danny out on a date?

-x-x-

Bruce Wayne has just dropped out of med school and is beginning his training into becoming the person his city needs him to become. While looking into where he can he remembers how in his teen years the planet was almost destroyed but was saved by a ghost teen hero and looks into it. He digs deep to uncover what happened, uncovering impressive firewalls Amity Park has, etc and finds out about Danny Fenton/Phantom.

He decides to go visit the younger man, who is just about to start college himself, and ask a few questions.

He uhhh... Bruce just wasn't expecting to find Danny very cute (even though he was pretty certain Phantom had been his first male crush when he saw a photo of the teen years ago), and adorable with his owlish stare, and well the first words out of his mouth was

"Would you mind joining me for dinner?"

-x-x-

[misticfog]

Regarding recently seen discussions about Harvey's reaction to Willow dating Hunter:

Bonus:

[theimpurelily]

@grubus taadaa? lol

Sooo ya know that little gif I posted? This whole thing stemmed from me letting things get too out of hand while drawing up the dream scene that was only going to be that tiny little image....I have no regrets.

Just in case here's the rant

WHAT THE FUCK! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KISS MY HUSBAND? WHAT A SHITTY DREAM! MENG MO COULD DO BETTER. WAIT, THE ORIGINAL NING YINGYING DIDN'T DREAM OF-OF THAT RIGHT? I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. I THINK I WOULD REMEMBER? FUCK. IT'S BEEN SO MANY YEARS. DID SHE? AM I GASLIGHTING MYSELF? DOES THIS COUNT AS GASLIGHTING? REGARDLESS, WHY THE FUCK WOULD MENG MO SHOW ME THAT? WAS IT BECAUSE I WAS PUT IN A WIFE PLOT? SO HE JUST...JUST AUTOMATICALLY DID THAT? LIKE A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM OR SOMETHING? OMG! WAIT! DID BINGHE SEE THE WEDDING? FUCK! WAS THAT HIM THERE AND NOT JUST SOME FAKE? FUCK! WAIT! NO. HE WOULD STILL BE TALKING TO MENG MO... RIGHT? BESIDES, I’M A GUY! SO BINGHE WOULD NEVER WANT TO-TO...SYSTEM! DID BINGHE SEE THAT? WAS THAT HIM? SYSTEM! WHAT THE FUCK! WILL I BE PUT IN FUTURE WIFE PLOTS JUST BECAUSE I'M BINGHE'S BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD...

[lloydfrontera]

the webcomic can have one (1) funny "earnest moment interrupted by comedy" joke. as a treat. but also because it is so in character for them ajkshdjkas

yes they will say the most earnest shit to each other and then immediately try to cringe out of their own bodies. they are best friends but they would rather jump out of a window before admitting it. they are incredibly devoted and grateful to one another but you could not water board that out of either of them.

the only thing that can get either of them to admit how much they care for each other is if the other is in life threatening danger and not a second before aakjshdks

[everysongineverykey]

replaying undertale is like crossing the street. if you don't look both ways beforehand you'll get crushed. by the mettaton poster in alphys' lab that says "thank you for making my dreams come true" on the back

[silusvesuius]

testing out drawing maormer 🪸🐚🪸 and a nelvas 🧣📜🩷 i'll ramble about maormer a bit in the tags

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

They’re so good

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

The generational progression of team dynamics is truly so funny to me.

You have the Justice League and they're all coworkers. They're friendly and polite with each other but they don't really hang out together outside of work. Two of them might transcend the work friend dynamic and buddy up outside of work (i.e Barry and Hal or Ollie and Hal or Bruce and Clark) but you will never see all of them casually hanging out for fun.

Then there's the Titans. These guys are friends. They all have busy lives so they maybe don't see each other as much as they'd like to but they're all deeply bonded with each other. They make a point of planning big get togethers with each other unrelated to work. They know each other's deepest secrets. Their kids consider the other Titans aunts and uncles.

Last but not least there's Young Justice. Young Justice is the definition of unhealthy codependency. They're all best friends and they act like siblings but they might also all be in love with each other? Kon dated Cassie, hit on Cissie, flirted with Bart's clone and had a dream where Bart was in a cheerleading outfit and was with his other love interests and then just everything with Tim. Cassie dated both Tim and Kon, and then there's everything with Cissie. Bart admitted that Cassie made him 'like girls' (?), took Cissie to a dance, and is extremely close with Tim and Kon to the point where it could just be unhealthy codependency but it might be something more. Honestly this entire group is so intermixed and codependent it's insane. They go from 'i love you so much you are my best friend' to 'i wanna make out with you' so fast and with barely any breathing room. They are constantly with each other and hang out at least once a week. They cannot exist separately.

[jeeaark]

Remember Auntie Ethel's victim who could see people's possible futures? Yeaaah, Greygold walked right into that prophecy.

In the Far Realms, they have memory foam beds