#but they were gayer than i remembered

[brinecave]

actually what IS going on right now did like a half dozen people just read tcom/tlf and conclude rincewind and twoflower are gay in the past couple months. is that what happened here

[amluart]

"Can't sleep either?"

[dandp]

patoot

[divyasoup]

1x07 | Excalibur

Enjoy this half-baked screencap redraw. I may refine it later, but I need to finish a final paper now :)

[wonderwomemes]

Bringing back this 10year old post because i did not learn my lesson like, at all. We'll be here forever, no peace when we are done

Why did i start shipping these stupid fictional characters in the first place? Why is there gay subtext in evetything? Fuck this stupid fangirl life i didn’t sign up for all these feels and drama

[sabertoothwalrus]

rewatching naruto is crazy cause as a kid I thought the sasunaru shippers were just fujoshis and the whole thing was totally random and baseless but. no. no the show is just like that. it’s so much gayer than you remember it being. sasuke thought he was dying and all he could think about were all of his moments spent with naruto including the time they kissed on accident. saucegay I’m sorry I ever doubted you

[acowardinmordor]

Risk and Reward

Steddie-adjacent. Tw: homophobia

I always love fics where Steve makes himself Eddie’s alibi while Eddie is still unconscious/in a coma. Knows that it will work because he knows in this town there is no way anyone would believe that Steve Harrington would come out if it wasn’t real. No one would believe it, because everyone knows that his parents are always gone, because his dad is in Congress railing against the gays and their depravity and how they deserve to die and burn.

Steve saying it. Signing an affidavit about it. Giving quotes to the ravenous press. It has to be true. And everyone who doesn’t think it’s disgusting think it’s the most romantic thing in the world.

The government was stepping in, all eyes were pointed at Munson, and he was going to be thrown in a cell for life. Or, to save the cost of the trial, he would have vanished somewhere between the hospital and the prison.

Steve coming out stops that. Airtight alibi, reinforced by the knowledge that there will be consequences.

Eddie is safe, and the government has changed tactics, is blaming dead Jason Carver for it all. Eddie wakes up six weeks later, shocked to wake up at all, and trusts his uncle enough to play along. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were dating the Harrington kid?’ Eddie knows how to tell a story that leaves space for a player to fill in their side. He tells stories about little moments and always describes things from his perspective. That way, if it contradicts the story that’s already out there, he can make a find quip about how he remembers it different.

When he finally gets a moment alone with his uncle, two days later, his guess gets confirmed. Wayne knows damn well that Eddie’s gayer than a maypole, and also knows that Eddie has called Steve his nemesis for years. Wayne knew from the second Steve said it that it was a lie, and knew it would work if it was believed.

The only thing confusing Eddie - well, the only thing in this tiny slice of his world - is why his fake boyfriend/no-longer-nemesis, isn’t in the hospital too, playing the part. If the guy was willing to say it at all, then he’d go all in. If there was one thing Eddie’d learned during those days, it was that Steve only ever did something at 100%

And yes, part of him feels terrible that Steve did this just to save him. He feels awful knowing that this is going to ruin a chance for a normal life. Wayne said the Indianapolis paper picked up a story about it. But at the same time, he’s so fucking grateful. Steve saved him. Again. And now, at least for a while, they’ll need to keep up the story. He’ll get to hang out with him, pretend they’re dating, stand close and cuddle closer. He also feels bad about how excited he is for that chance.

It’s the next morning when Eddie realizes his uncle dodged every question about why Steve wasn’t here. Wayne dodged almost every question after explaining what happened with Steve and the press and the Feds in the first weeks. Then, nothing.

The party visits him that afternoon, a veneer of joy stretched thin over something worse. Eddie’s first guess is that Red didn’t make it. But he hears her a moment later, complaining about ‘these stupid casts slowing me down’. The kids aren’t as good at dodging as Wayne is. Eddie gets the story quickly, such as it is.

The Harringtons came home from DC, gave a few speeches in praise of law enforcement against a serial killer. They visited the families of those that died.

They sent an assistant to find Steve in the hospital to deliver a message. No one else heard it, but the best guess is that it was a threat. Steve went with the assistant. They haven’t seen him since. When Dustin confronted the Harringtons at their last event in town, all they’d say was that ‘our son is getting the best help, and we love him dearly’

Eddie looks at Robin when he hears that for what it is. She drops the kids back home and begs a sympathetic nurse to let her talk to Eddie past visiting hours.

“It’s been a month since he vanished”

“Where?”

“We don’t know, we tried, even Hopper - he’s not dead - couldn’t find him. And this guy named Murray. We don’t know.”

“But…. ‘The best help’. You know that means…”

“I know”

“He’s, Christ, Buckley, he’s straight. Ladykiller. He’s straight and they sent him to some—“

“Yeah, but Eddie… I don’t know if I should… I guess, not that it matters now, and he never said anything, but he’s my best friend. He’s my soulmate. I know him and I think… if his dad wasn’t like he is… if he’d ever felt safe saying so… he knew they’d be furious when he came forward as your alibi, but he told me they’d just disown him, and it would be over. He was scared, but he was okay with what he thought was going to happen”

“I thought he hates me”

“He kinda did”

“Not anymore?”

“No.” There’s a pause where they both think about where Steve might be right now.

“Maybe he hates me again now.”

“I don’t think he would, but…”

And Eddie thinks how weird it is to see spastic Robin Buckley, who rambled in the Upside Down and always had more energy that she could contain, acting so subdued. No. So broken.

They both heard the Harringtons’ speeches and ads when he ran for office. They know what the man thinks about people like them. They both heard stories about what the places are like, where someone can go to ‘get help’

“Do you think I’ll ever get to thank him?”

“No.”

“Do you think we’ll ever see him again? You and the kids at least?”

She’s quiet for a long time, before she picks up her bag.

“If he ever gets to leave wherever they put him, and we ever see him, I don’t think he’ll be the person we knew anymore.”

[sapphiresaphics]

I remember when The Owl House came out and there was INTENSE shipping of Amity and Luz. There were no other male characters Luz’s age, so the queer ship set sail. Then it was revealed Amity does in fact like Luz and the shipping exploded! By the end of season 1, Lumity was the most popular ship by far in the Owl House fandom.

But then Hunter was introduced in season 2. And the SECOND Luz and Hunter shared screen time together, suddenly there was intense hate and backlash to Amity even existing. Even when Amity kissed Luz and basically solidified them as the endgame couple of the show, there was INTENSE Lunter fanart and posting.

People’s reasoning was that Luz is bi and therefore she can like Hunter just as much as Amity. But it sure as heck didn’t feel like that at the time. As a lesbian in the fandom it felt more like people were trying to use Luz’s bi sexuality to straight wash the ships. And it felt very insidious since this was the first openly queer relationship Disney was allowing on the air. We finally got a queer wlw ship and people were trying to downplay it and take it over, using Luz’s sexuality as an excuse.

It felt targeted.

And it got BAD.

Every time Amity and Luz shared a cute moment together, someone would do re-draws of the scenes but swap out Amity for Hunter. And they’d deliberately tag the Lumity hashtag to force their ship into places it didn’t belong. For the longest time the Lunter hashtag was incredibly toxic and hateful towards anyone who called them out for this wlw erasure.

As the show progressed it became clear Hunter had a crush on Willow. And overnight the Lunter hashtag swapped to being Wintlow instead. They continued to do the same tactics as before, such as redrawing scenes of Lumity as Wintlow instead, but it thankfully stopped encroaching on the Lumity fanbase.

Still, to this day, if you search the Owl House hashtag you will find a disproportionate amount of Hunter X Willow artwork and fanfics.

I think of this whenever I see Jayvik fanart in the Arcane hashtag.

The number of people who are openly dismissive of Caitlyn and Vi and Mel being in relationships is staggering. Saying “whatever Jayce and Viktor had going on is gayer than Caitlyn and Vi!” is just as insidious as what the Lunter fandom was doing to Lumity.

We FINALLY got canon lesbian couples (not even bi, but full blown openly lesbian couples) in Arcane and all the fandom can talk about is Jayce and Viktor. A non-canon gay ship that dismisses Mel entirely and pretends like she never existed while denigrating Violyn because “Caitlyn is a cop and ACAB!”

I’m just so tired of this all. This dismissal of my sexuality and representation by the fandom hurts so much. And it seems to keep happening in every fandom that has a wlw ship.

I’m sure a lot of people aren’t even really aware they’re doing it either. Or they don’t feel like it’s a big deal. But after spending so much of my life YEARNING for canon wlw couples in animated shows, it’s disheartening to say the least how underrepresented we are.

[atimesfeeler]

They were kissing, and there was blood in their mouths Wade didn’t care to wipe away. It was one of Logan’s kinks, and Wade wasn’t one to slut shame. He also wasn’t particularly surprised when he found out. Did you see the way he smiled when Wade’s blood dripped onto his teeth? Nasty.

The blood was from their brawl in the living room over something Wade couldn’t remember . The only thing he remembered was that he started it, purposely riling Logan up to get him to pounce. Technically, Wade won, but Logan used a different rules than he did, declaring whoever was on top was the winner. Wade thought it was common sense that the first one to do something sexy lost. And that included biting his neck and then licking clean the healing wound. Obviously a prelude to super sexy times. There was nothing gayer, actually.

Wade yanked his head back, breaking their kiss solely to run his mouth. He loved kissing. Kissing was great. Kissing with a bloody feral man on top of him was even better. He also loved talking. So far, he hadn’t found a good way to multitask those two things yet.

Logan clearly didn’t have that problem as he set to work kissing and biting down Wade’s neck.

“Bloody brawls really do it for ya, huh?” Wade gasped, arching into the teeth pressing threateningly against his collarbone. Hot breath puffed against the thin skin and pebbled it. “Enough to get you to forfeit?”

“Didn’t forfeit,” Logan rumbled, the words closer to a vibration against Wade’s neck than an audible sound. “I won.”

“Just keeping telling yourself that,” Wade goaded and jerked when Logan closed his teeth around his collarbone like a dog who thought he could rip it out of his skin and bury it in the back yard.

“It’s starting to be a habit, you know,” Wade teased around the little noises of both pain and pleasure zinging through him. “Is beating me up your favorite-“

Wade frowned.

“Shit.”

Logan paused. “What?”

“What’s the word? Pre-game. No, that’s not it.”

Logan attempted to distract Wade by pulling his shirt over his head. Wade just glared at Logan’s fuzzy tits like they held the answers.

“Pre-game. No. It’s- what is it?”

Logan sighed, realizing he was, yet again, losing a battle, and sat back in Wade’s thighs.

“Motherfucker. It’s going to bother me. What’s the word for pre-game but for sex?”

Logan stared at him with a long suffering look. Wade looked around and patted the floor beside his head, looking for his phone to google it.

“You mean foreplay?” Logan deadpanned.

Wade snapped his fingers, “Yes, that’s it! I knew it had something to do with sports. If you ask me, it probably has something to do with the inherent homoeroticism of all male sports. I mean, have you seen those Italian soccer players? Straight up SEX on the field. It’s disgusting. I’m so jealous.”

Logan’s look clearly conveyed that Wade had ruined the mood and something along the lines of why do I even like this idiot?

“So, are we gonna have sex now? Or are you gonna keep daydreaming about Italian soccer players?”

Wade grinned manically up at him. “Depends. Would you consider wearing a soccer uniform?”

[slut4thebroken]

“Childhood Enemies Turned Lovers?” - part 1

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Robert Fischer x reader

Summary | Arranged marriage enemies to lovers au. Need I say more?

Warnings | Angst, fluff?, domestic violence, kind of, slow burn, but not too slow, misogyny, i think, enemies to lovers, alcohol, robert is so fucking sassy lol, slut shaming, flirting, implied/referenced homophobia.

Words | 4.1 k

Notes | We’re not gonna talk about how the reason for this arranged marriage lowkey makes no sense okay? ����

Ao3 link | <3

Fic Masterlist

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You’ve hated Robert Fischer for as long as you can remember. Growing up, your father told you that the Fischer’s were no good and their business wasn’t much better. You, of course, believed him. You didn’t know any better. 

Unfortunately, you often attended the same events, like charity galas and fundraisers, and every single interaction ended in juvenile bickering. As you got older, you grew to resent him— solely because of the fact that he got hot and you couldn’t have him— and the jabs became more personal. You mocked him for his daddy issues, he mocked you for your reputation— you’re seen a few times with different guys and all of a sudden that makes you a whore, nevermind the fact that half of the guys you were seen with are gayer than Elton John. 

But the rivalry between your families was hurting both businesses. And even though neither you nor Robert had anything to do with it, you were still partially responsible apparently. Which is how you found yourself at dinner, sitting next to your father and across from Robert, his father beside him. The tension was thick, one wrong word from anyone and all of this would go down the drain immediately. So you kept your mouth shut, letting your father do the talking. 

“As much as we both hate to admit it, we can’t keep this up.” He said and you waited for the point he was trying to make. 

“Both of our businesses are struggling because of it and I think we came to a fair solution.” Robert’s father added. You sighed and picked up your wine to stop yourself from telling them to just spit it out already. “We want you both to get married.” You choked on your drink and started coughing as you set the glass back down, Robert had a similar reaction with his food. 

“It would end this petty feud and our businesses would be stronger together.” Your father explained and you turned to him in shock, staring at him as if he had grown a second head. 

“Are you fucking crazy?” You hissed, making his gaze harden. 

“Don’t make a scene. We don’t need you embarrassing the family any further.” He spat, making you clench your jaw and look away. It’s not your fault paparazzi are obsessed with you and stalk you everywhere you go.  

“I never thought I’d say this, but I have to agree with her.” Robert finally chimed in, speaking apprehensively. 

“Son, you know we’re right.” You watched him soften at his fathers words— what a weak little daddy’s boy. You thought with a scoff. 

“No you’re not.” You said, keeping your voice at a normal level. 

“That’s not for you to decide.” Your father said and you stood up suddenly, throwing the napkin from your lap onto your plate and grabbing your purse. “Sit back down. We’re not done.” He warned. 

“I’m not listening to this shit. Figure out another solution.” You spat. When you tried to walk away, he grabbed your wrist in a bruising grip. You swallowed down a whimper from the pain, not turning back around to face him as your eyes started watering. 

“Sit down.” He hissed, tightening his grip until you couldn’t hold down the sound anymore. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like anyone heard it. You moved back to your seat and he let you go. 

As you kept your gaze on your lap and rubbed your sore wrist, you could practically feel his gaze on you. Sure enough, when you looked up, Robert was staring at you with a mixture of confusion, concern, and pity. 

“I’m sorry. One day I know you both will see this the way we do.” His father said. After a few more minutes of the men conversing and you keeping your head down, your father finally dismissed you and you practically ran out of the restaurant. You texted your driver, then waited outside the building, trying to at least wait until you were in the car to start crying. 

“Hi.” You stiffened, then shook your head with a sniffle. 

“I don’t need this right now, Fischer.” You said quietly, voice trembling. 

“Me neither. I came to ask if you’re okay.” He spoke with a gentleness you didn’t know he was capable of. 

“Of course I’m not fucking okay.” You spat viciously. “I’m barely in my mid twenties, I don’t want to marry yet— I’m not ready to marry yet. Let alone you. I want to- to marry someone I love.” Your voice broke pathetically and you kept your gaze forward or down, not able to look at him. He let out a heavy sigh, but didn’t respond, seemingly realizing that nothing he could say would help right now. His hand suddenly touching yours made you flinch as you head snapped to him. He gently lifted your hand and inspected your wrist, running his thumb over the red skin. 

“Don’t.” You said sharply, not wanting to feel worse about yourself. 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“Well you thought it. He’s not— he’s not an abuser, okay? He just doesn’t know his own strength.” You defended weakly. The first part you technically believed, but you knew that what he did was always intentional— one of his ways of asserting his power over you. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, making your gaze harden. 

“I don’t need your pity.” You spat, pulling your hand away. You could’ve cried in relief when your car finally pulled up. He called out for you when you started walking away, making you freeze, then turn back around. 

“They told me to tell you there’s going to be a meeting you need to attend next week to go over everything.”  

“Is that all?” You asked, voice breaking slightly as you spoke. 

He hesitated, then gave you a small, “yes” and you continued walking, now finding the driver standing there with the door open. You spared him one last glance before getting in. Even though you knew he couldn’t see you through the practically black window tint, it still felt like his gaze was on you. 

The next few days were spent drinking and crying. Eventually you decided your pity party was over. If you’re about to be married off like fucking cattle, might as well make the most of your time as a free woman, right? Which is how you found yourself at your semi regular hookup’s house. 

It wasn’t good. He seemed to realize that your mind was elsewhere and offered to talk, saying you didn’t have to keep going. That made you scoff and snap back some mean retort about how if you wanted to talk, you would’ve hit up a shrink. Which you felt bad about, but it was quickly forgotten. 

The meeting was in two days. There were moments when you seriously considered not going… but you didn’t want to find out what the consequences would be. On the day of the meeting, you woke up late— already off to a bad start— and had to quickly wipe off last night's makeup and do your best to reapply it quickly. 

When you arrived, the conversation stopped and everyone turned to you, watching you take off your sunglasses as you sat in the only open chair, next to Robert. 

“Nice of you to finally join us— and hungover too.” Your father snarked. 

“Sorry I’m late.” You said with an exaggerated smile. “Please continue.” The expression dropped almost instantly and you waited for the conversation to pick back up. 

It dragged on slowly. They talked about the business and legal aspects of the deal, made sure everyone was on the same page about what they would get out of this arrangement, and you just sat there the whole time, trying not to cry as you thought about how you’d never be able to have a boyfriend— at least not a public one, and he probably wouldn’t want to put up with the secrecy of it all. Those thoughts spiraled into the realization that you’ll never experience being with someone you truly love. 

Someone called your name loudly, making your head snap up. 

“What?” You asked, trying to push down the panic attack. 

“I asked if you were listening.” Your father said, completely unamused. 

“I was. I need to just— I need… I have to go to the bathroom.” You scrambled out of your chair, ignoring your father calling out for you, and practically ran to the bathroom. You slammed the door shut and locked it, then leaned against it, trying to take deep breaths as you hyperventilated. Your chest tightened and you doubled over, placing your hands on your knees to steady yourself. Tears quickly filled your eyes when you remembered why you were having a panic attack in the first place. 

Someone slammed their fist on the door rapidly, making your breath catch in your throat. 

“Come out of there, I’m not going to tell you again.” Your father said, making your crying come back full force. 

“I- I’m almost done.” You did your best to get the words out through your sobs and uneven breaths. You waited for him to yell again, maybe get someone to break down the door, but you heard hushed voices, then silence, followed by a quiet knock. 

“What?” You croaked. 

“He only agreed to let me.. ‘handle’ this, if you actually let me in.” He said tentatively and you had no reason not to believe him, so you unlocked the door, then leaned against the wall so he could come in. 

He almost seemed shocked by your current state, probably expecting you to have just run in here out of boredom. 

“I can’t. I can’t, Robert.” You whimpered, taking in shaky, uneven breaths. 

“I think we can find a way to make this work.” He said softly, making you shake your head. 

“I don’t want to be married to you for the rest of my fucking life! I want to marry someone I love, someone I actually want to spend my life with.” 

“I know, I do too. Can you just listen to me please?” You don’t think you’ve ever heard him say the word please before. When you stayed silent, he continued. “My father is already very old and within a few years, he’ll most likely pass and the company will be mine. After that I can try to keep the peace with your family and we can get a divorce, then go our separate ways. I know it’s not ideal, but you’re not going to be stuck in a loveless marriage for the rest of your life.” You started to calm down as you processed his words. You really only have to wait maybe five or ten years before this will be over. Which seems like a lot but you’ll still only be in your early to mid thirties. It could be worse. 

“You’re right. I didn’t think about it like that.” You said, exhaustion clear in your voice now that you weren’t actively panicking anymore. 

“I usually am, you’re just too stubborn to listen to me.” He chuckled, making the corners of your lips curl up into a small smile. “Make yourself presentable, then come back out. The meeting’s almost over but they want us to get lunch together for our first publicity stunt.” You were about to make a snide remark about him telling you to ‘make yourself presentable’ but it died in your throat when you looked in the mirror. 

“Oh my god.” You muttered, embarrassed. He chuckled as he left the bathroom and only then did you register what he said— you have to get lunch with him. Looking like you just crawled out of a dumpster after rotting there for a week. You did your best to wipe away the mascara on your face and just touch up the rest of you, in hopes of making your face slightly less noticeable. Taking a deep breath, you held your head high and put on your best fake smile before walking out. 

“Sorry, everyone. I hope I didn’t miss anything too important.” Your father gave you a warning glare at your demeanor. “I heard we’re getting lunch?” You said, trying to move the topic away from yourself. 

“Yes. You two have made enough of a fuss in public that just jumping right into this will be worse than playing it up, pretending like you’re actually starting to get along now.” Mr. Fischer explained. 

“Paparazzi will be there?” You confirmed. 

“Yes. So you might want to stop by your apartment first and make yourself presentable.” Your father added, making you take a deep breath as you dug your nails into your hand. 

“Got it. Anything else?” You didn’t mean for it to sound sarcastic, but based on your fathers expression, that’s how it came out. Thankfully Robert spoke before he could comment on it. 

“They want us to arrive together. Should I meet you at your apartment later or just come with you now?” Your apartment was a mess right now— that’s the last thing you wanted. 

“I think it would be best if,”

“Go with her.” Your father answered for you. Robert looked at you questioningly and you gave him a dry smile. 

“Sure. Come with me.”

After a short drive, you finally arrived in front of your apartment building. When he started unbuckling his seatbelt, you turned to him. 

“Maybe you could.. wait in the car?”

“I don’t want to sit in here for an hour while you get ready.” He scoffed and you rolled your eyes. 

“Fine. Suit yourself.” 

You led the way and when the front door opened his eyes widened in shock as he stepped inside. 

“Welcome to my depression house. This is how it looks when I’m depressed.” You said sarcastically, walking over to grab the empty bottles of alcohol from the coffee table and put them in the trash. 

“Should I be offended?” He asked, walking around the messy space. 

“Maybe just a little.” You said teasingly. He eyed the pictures of you and your friends—none with your family, he noticed— and the little trinkets you had on the bookshelf, then turned and looked at the rest of the room. 

“It’s… cuter than I thought it would be.” He finally turned to you and you raised your brows. 

“What, were you expecting an evil lair? Maybe a dungeon?” You asked, amused. 

“No, I just… didn’t think you’d have so many decorations, let alone colorful ones.” 

“Well I hope you’re good at adapting because you’ll be stuck with this for the next few years.” 

“We are not decorating like this.” He scoffed. 

“If you want to tell our fathers that you refuse to go through with this because you don’t want to live in a beautiful house, then go ahead.” 

“I think they’d understand.” He sneered and you narrowed your eyes at him. He’s not wrong though, your father used to hate how you decorated your room when you lived in his house. He hates the way you decorate your apartment even more though. 

“Ever heard of the phrase, ‘happy wife, happy life’? Because it’s true and I’ll enjoy making your life a living hell until you finally give in.” You smirked. 

“God— I forgot how much of a stubborn bitch you are when you’re not moping.” He spat and you gaped at him. 

“And I forgot how insufferable you can be when you’re not kissing your daddy’s ass!” 

“Maybe if you tried that every once in a while, your father wouldn’t treat you the way he does!” He seemed to immediately realize what he said, after he said it. You clenched your jaw and looked down, taking a deep breath. You were already emotional from the meeting, so it wasn’t surprising when your eyes started burning with tears. 

You wished he was right. But your father has always treated you the same no matter how you act, you learned that very early on. 

“I didn’t mean,” 

“Stop.” You said quietly. “I’m just going to go get ready.” You muttered, walking passed him and into your room, closing the door just a little too loudly. 

You were mostly just embarrassed now, rather than angry, and you wanted nothing more than to just stay locked in your room today. But you couldn’t. So you redid your makeup, put on a nice outfit with a matching purse, then walked back out. He suddenly stood up from the couch, as if you had caught him doing something he shouldn’t be doing. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have,”

“It’s fine. Next time though, you could at least make the insult true and a little more creative.” You didn’t look at him as you walked past him to grab your keys and open the door. You waited impatiently as he tentatively walked closer. 

“God, Fischer, could you move any slower?” You huffed, making him roll his eyes, but speed up. 

The car ride to the restaurant was awkward. Neither of you really knew what to say. You were just glad when his phone rang, it felt like it made the tension a little less thick in the small space. You listened to him talk, wondering what the conversation was about. Whoever was on the line was doing most of the talking because he responded with “yes” and “okay” and “I understand” and not much else. When he finally hung up and put his phone back in his pocket, he turned to you. 

“That was my father. He wanted to remind us to pretend like we actually want to be there.” You scoffed a laugh, rolling your eyes. 

“I’m surprised no one called me to tell me that.” 

“I’m guessing they figured I’d take it better and be more successful at convincing you to behave.” He said teasingly. 

“Oh, I can behave, Mr. Fischer. Contrary to popular belief I can be a good girl.” Your tone was overly seductive and you batted your eyelashes at him, smirking when his cheeks turned pink. 

“Don’t call me that.” It's almost comical the way he thinks he can sway the conversation in the direction he wants. 

“What should I call you then? Sir?” He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. 

“Robert is fine.” He said, voice strained. You barked out a laugh, making his cheeks go even redder as he clenched his jaw, not looking at you. 

“You’re too easy, Fischer.” 

Lunch went surprisingly well. You had a few small spats, but you both made sure to keep the smiles on your faces. Anyone who wasn’t in hearing distance would think you were having a pleasant conversation. 

You made the headlines less than 24 hours later. “Childhood Enemies Turned Lovers?” You almost scoffed at the cheesy line— that was seriously the best they could come up with? The pictures included were all carefully selected by a PR team so that people would believe the fake date was actually real. 

The following week, your father texted, ‘Sunday early afternoon.’ and nothing else. You figured it was another PR thing, but you texted Robert to be sure. He confirmed that it was indeed another planned ‘date’ and that he’d pick you up at 11, telling you to dress pretty, which made you scoff. You almost did the opposite, just to piss everyone off, but your father’s been off your back a little more than usual, so you decided to just do it. You wore a sundress and a cardigan, hoping it would be “cute” enough. When you got in the car, you frowned.  

“Why do I have to wear a dress but you can wear that?” That made him scoff. 

“I’m significantly more dressed up than you. Why are you complaining?” 

“Yeah but that’s different, you always wear that.” 

“I don’t know, okay? I didn’t decide.” You huffed and turned back to face the front of the car with your arms crossed over your chest. “You look good though.” He suddenly said, making your head snap back to him. His gaze was trained on the bare skin of your thighs for a moment before slowly trailing back up your body, lingering on your breasts that were pushed up because of your crossed arms. 

“You done yet?” You asked, making his eyes meet yours as his lips curled up into a small smirk. 

“No, not yet.” His gaze moved back to your body and you scoffed as your cheeks heated up. 

“Fine. Let me know when you’re finished objectifying me please.” You said with faux seriousness, even though part of you was enjoying the attention. 

You arrived at a cafe and he held the door open for you to walk inside, making you blush— and need to remind yourself that this wasn’t real. You both ordered your drinks and he paid. Once you were walking outside for a bit, drinks in hand, you couldn’t push down the curiosity anymore. 

“Where are we going?” 

“A walk.” 

“I hate walks.” You frowned, making him turn to you. 

“Okay? What am I supposed to do about that? Carry you?” You rolled your eyes at his tone. 

“You’re so sassy sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?” 

“Not to my face. Why? Did you hear something?” You snorted a laugh at that, making him smile. You walked in comfortable silence for a while, then when his hand suddenly brushed yours, you flinched away from him. 

“What are you doing?” 

“They didn’t tell you because they figured you’d throw a fit about it— their words, not mine.” He added the last part when he saw your expression. 

“Don’t you think holding hands on the second date is a little soon?” He looked over at you with raised brows as he grabbed your hand. 

“You’ve been known to do more on less.” You could tell that he didn’t really believe it, he was just teasing you. 

“That’s only because those dates were the first ones where the paparazzi actually saw us.” You explained, feeling like you needed to defend your reputation to him. Which was weird cause you’ve never cared too much before. 

“That wasn’t denial.” He smirked and you rolled your eyes with a huff. 

“What, you think I fuck on the first date too?” 

“I didn’t say that.” He defended, making you scoff. “…But based on some of those videos.. I wouldn’t be surprised.” He added tentatively. 

“Don’t act like you haven’t been caught doing the same thing. The only reason people don’t call you a slut is because you're a man.” 

“Those were all PR stunts.” He said quietly, the teasing tone now slightly gone. “I don’t usually take girls out in public which caused a whole big speculation of me being gay and obviously my father couldn’t have that.” He chuckled dryly, making you frown. 

“Are you?” You hoped your tone showed that you weren’t making fun of him, but genuinely asking. 

“No.” He said defensively. “Are you?” It almost seemed like he was expecting this big ah ha moment, the way he asked that. 

“I don’t know. I’ve never dated a woman— also because of my father. I’ve hooked up with a few, but I never let myself focus on my feelings for them too hard because if I am, then that’s a whole big secret I have to keep and I just really don’t want to worry about that.” Saying it out loud like that made you sound so fucking gay— “And it’s not that I don’t like men!” You added quickly. “I just,”

“I understand.” You both walked in silence for a few more minutes, then let out simultaneous sighs when you saw the first camera. Even though this was staged, you still don’t exactly have fond memories with paparazzi, so it was pretty uncomfortable to say the least. 

“Just think,” He murmured against your ear, making you shiver, “after a few pictures, we’re done and you can go back to your depression house with your weird decorations and not have to put up with me for a while.” You couldn’t suppress the laugh from his words and you tried to ignore the way the clicking of the cameras got more intense. 

“I actually cleaned. So it’s not a depression house anymore. And they’re not weird, they’re cute and fun.” He pulled back to look at you, the signature ‘son of a millionaire’ smirk on his face. 

“Sure they are, sweetheart.” Despite the mocking tone, your entire face turned red from the pet name. 

The photos were released later that night, the main ones being you laughing and smiling as he whispered something in your ear. God— you looked so pathetically love sick, it’s disgusting. 

Part 2

Taglist (join here)

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[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

1: Magic is a Metaphor < 2: Morgana is a Lesbian < 3: Merlin is Gay < 4: Arthur is Bi

Do you remember when you were bullied in middle school? Because if you're reading this, I think it's fair to assume that you were. And your parents would say to you, 'that boy is just being mean to you because he likes you'. That's what this is.

Arthur is just so repressed. He has really bad daddy issues, and he doesn't know how to express his emotions, and he's really uncomfortable with physical intimacy, especially with other men, especially with Merlin. And this isn't me trying to psychoanalyse away his heterosexuality. It is a very evident part of his character.

And another big part of his character is that he has inherited all of these bigoted ideas about magic from his father that he has to work to overcome. Because, of course, Arthur himself is born of magic, but his dad is so ashamed of it that he hides the true circumstances of his birth from Arthur. Honestly, I don't know exactly how that would fit into this whole metaphor. I do have a half-formed theory that it could be interpreted as an allegory for intersex identity, I know that a lot of people headcanon Arthur as trans, so idk there could be something there. But regardless, it is only through his relationship with Merlin that he is able to overcome this magicphobia, because he realises: how could it be wrong when everything about Merlin is so right. And I just feel like there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

Of course, I have to mention this iconic quote from the audio commentary of the final episode: when the executive producer refers to Arthur taking off his royal seal to give back to Guinevere as passing over "the last vestige of his heterosexu- oh sorry, I mean his marriage." So, they knew exactly what they were doing.

I also thought I would just draw your attention to the fact that at one point Arthur says, "I only care about my men, they're more than friends, more than brothers." Now, I think we can all agree that out of context, that is a very gay thing to say, and yet somehow the context is even gayer, because Arthur is pretending to be talking about the Knights of the Round Table, but he's actually talking about Merlin, how Merlin is the only person he cares about, more than a friend. And then Merlin responds, "I understand. I wish I didn't, but I do." It's barely subtext at that point. This of course, brings me to my final argument:

Arthur risked his life to save Merlin at least eight times. It could be more than that, I genuinely lost count. And you have to keep in mind that Arthur is the King of Camelot and he doesn't have any heirs. It is quite important that he stays alive. And yet anytime that Merlin is in the slightest bit of danger, he will just drop everything to protect him.

And it's really only in those moments where he's faced with the thought of losing Merlin that he shows him genuine emotion. Such as in this scene (which was cut out of 4x02 purely because it was too gay) where Arthur is planning to sacrifice himself to protect Merlin, again, and he gives Merlin his mother's sigil, the only thing he has left of his dead mum and he wants Merlin to have it as something to remember him by. Also, apparently in medieval times giving someone your family crest was basically a marriage proposal, so that's pretty gay.

You know what else is pretty gay? Telepathically communicating with Merlin and then immediately leaving Gwen in the middle of an active war. This is literally the last time that Arthur and Gwen ever see each other. Poor Gwen.

In conclusion, Merlin is the story of gay sorcerers and bisexual knights getting into love triangles. Everyone in this show is queer and you cannot tell me otherwise.

[vidavalor]

Hello!

This is random but I remembered your posts regarding The Situation with NG’s involvement in Good Omens when one of my followers on Twitter tweeted a screen cap of an old conversation on bluesky where Neil sorta confirms Amazon had pulled back his influence on production from S1 so there’s a lot of truth in what you said

Hope you’re doing great! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi there! 💕 Hope you're doing great yourself. I usually offer snacks but this is a large sherry or Talisker topic so *gets the glasses*...

That's interesting info-- thank you for sharing it. Like I was saying in that original post, I don't know any of that for sure but that was definitely the impression I was getting. One of the several reasons I was getting that impression was due to other, equally unprofessional posts like the one you're talking about here that speak to already-existing conflict with Amazon long before this particular Situation became publicly known.

I'm not sure why he'd be trying to fight the studio publicly like that if there's not something happening behind the scenes. It's just unprofessional. I was shocked when I saw posts like that because it's not like he was being a whistleblower to egregious behavior or something-- he was bitching about his boss and the budgets to fans on Tumblr. It feels like he was trying to use the fanbase as a shield to keep himself from being fired, as a way of saying "you can't get rid of me-- I will tell my fans you are the issue and they will believe me and not you and I have a million of them-- just look at my little Tumblr thing. You'll lose money if you don't back me."

You know what kind of guy does shit like that? The same kind that tells young women that no one is going to believe them because he's a famous, award-winning writer and they're nobody.

If you don't mind, I'm going to use your ask here for a moment to add a bit to what I was saying about Good Omens being a through-and-through Pratchett novel because I think it's important to remember that this story has another author here. I've had some people ask me to expound on that a bit. So, for anyone interested, this is what I mean when I say that Good Omens is a Pratchett novel:

As most of you probably know, most of the posts I write about Good Omens have to do with the use of language in the story. The diction in Good Omens is extremely specific. Its quirky word choice, its "gayer than a monkey on nitrous oxide"- type of wordplay? It's funny on the surface level and it's a whole other level of funny when you dig a bit deeper. The cleverness there is familiar to Pratchett readers, as it's part of the distinctive style of his other novels. As a writer who is a bit obsessed with etymology myself, I spotted his love for it right away in his writing. It's in every. single. one. of his books that I have read and I have read quite a few.

The exact same thing is in Good Omens. It's a really specific way of writing where word-related jokes are the vehicle for the humor and etymology-based diction choices are chosen with great precision and inform the piece on every level. Pratchett's signature style of writing came from the fact that he used etymology as a tool to help him convey the messages in his writing. The thematic connections he was making were supported by the complex histories of the key words around which he was forming his stories.

For example, there's a meta one of you asked me to write about the halo in S2 and, when you look at the etymology of the word, as we're going to do in that meta, you'll see that halo comes from discus and discus is the root of discussion, the root of the word desk, and the ancient sport that is like ring toss. It was also the name of a threshing floor for oxen, which ties both to dancing and to the threshold of a door, like the bookshop entry. By the time we get through looking at this one, key word of halo, we're going to have taken this whole trip-- through other discs-- the magic ring trick, record albums, Velvet Underground cds, etc., through what it means to dance to the ox ribs to what it means to have (or not have) a desk to what it means to talk through your frozen peas to what's up with the invitations into the bookshop. Good Omens is not random. Everything is very specifically chosen to work together to serve an overall story that is structured around using the etymology of words to underpin its meaning.

This is just one example and it's the same thing in the novel and S1. Much of the S2 stuff connects back to S1 & the novel. It's a story that loves words and it's a story that is threaded together, thematically, through being told by using very specific words and their histories. Good Omens is written like a Pratchett novel and feels like a Pratchett novel because it centers word history in exactly the same way as Pratchett does in his other novels.

You know where that halo thru-line that connects everything came from?

Discworld. It comes from Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

The same, core themes in his books are being explored, just in a slightly different way, in Good Omens and, often, using the same words in the exploration.

Because that's the thing-- all of these posts I'm writing about wordplay in Good Omens? I could, if I wanted to, also be writing them about any one of Pratchett's other novels, and a lot-- and I mean a lot-- of the specific words being used in a big way in Good Omens actually overlap with Pratchett's other books.

One of you has been waiting patiently for me to write about Mrs. Sandwich and the seamstress-themed language happening in the show and, to do that? We're going to not only talk about her and what she stands for in Good Omens but we're going to talk about the etymology jokes Pratchett was making with The Seamstress Guild in Discworld. Mrs. Sandwich might have been new in S2 but seamstress language is not-- it's baked into Crowley & Aziraphale's speak back in the novel and, as you'll see, there are instances of it in S1 and the novel that only become more apparent once you know to look for them after S2.

When NG said that, back in the day, he and Pratchett decided that Aziraphale should have a halo that was like a ring toss-- no.

Pratchett decided that.

The idea comes from the wordplay that is literally *in the title* of his own book series. Aziraphale's halo is related to why Pratchett's series is the Discworld. It's the same ideas. NG has fuck all to do with it.

Think about how I was just saying that all this love of etymology that is in Good Omens is also throughout Pratchett's books and is the driver of his word choice in all of them.

Now? Ask yourself who came up with Crowley and Aziraphale's secret language. Whose idea was it that it be so punny and etymology-based?

Probably the guy who wrote all of those etymology-based, other books.

Who invented the rules for that language?

Probably the guy who wrote all of those etymology-based other books.

If Pratchett wrote basically nothing but intentionally, lovingly, word-nerdy books... and if Good Omens is, soup-to-nuts, a love letter to etymology to a point that its main characters have a secret language built around it, then Terry Pratchett is who really wrote Good Omens. He's the true author of the book.

There are even interviews that show they had much different takes on how the process for the book happened. Pratchett, in one of the ones I read, said he wrote more than 2/3rds of the books straight up on his own and that he'd have phone calls with NG before NG wrote his bits of it and something politely vague to the effective of 'editing over' when writing the next chapter. In the same paragraph where he said he wrote more than 2/3rds of the book, he also said with all that discussion happening "who can say" who really wrote what-- yeah, exactly. It sounded a bit like NG needed the phone call to be told what to write on his end and then Pratchett edited it/rewrote bits of it before he wrote the next bit.

It comes off sounding like this book was like a partnered school project where Pratchett was the diligent one who did all the work himself so it would get done and be actually good and then assigned a bit of it to NG to do that he then had to go and fix so they'd get a decent grade. I wasn't there so I don't know but that's a bit like what the Pratchett interviews about it sound like to me and I'm much more inclined to believe Pratchett's view on their process than I am NG's take.

All I know is that Good Omens was successful when it was first published and any even moderately successful book makes publishing houses jump up and say "MORE NOW" and if you were those publishing houses? And you had a popular project with two writers? And one of the writers became tragically ill? You know what you'd do?

You'd eventually ask the other writer to finish the series.

It is known that a trilogy was planned from the start, which makes sense because most books are planned that way. You actually have to rough outline the entire story arc and then divide it amongst the books first. The story already existed in full when Pratchett began to get sick. Never-- in over two decades-- did anyone ever go to NG and ask him to both honor Pratchett and make them some cash by writing the rest of the trilogy?

Not even with how popular this book is?

That seems pretty suspicious to me.

Like a 'they know NG didn't really write it' kind of suspicious.

When both the publishing houses and the tv studios seem to be doing handstands to minimize his involvement with it, I'm thinking it's not too wild to infer there that it's because he never really wrote much, if any of it, in the first place.

More to the point? They know he's incapable of emulating it.

Because he's no Terry Pratchett.

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Kokushibo Headcanons: Strong and Silent Patience Yandere (Demon Slayer)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I have a request for something related to Kokushibo! But first I have to do his base headcanons! Please enjoy this chapter here!] 

(Disclaimer: Upper Moon One, Kokushibo is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!) 

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Upper Moon One, Kokushibo From Demon Slayer- 

.Kokushibo is a unique man, with an air of mystery around him. 

.He is aloof, reserved, and silent. He also has an air of unnerved tranquility around him. 

.He is a very calm man who values strength and does not tolerate people upsetting the hierarchy of the 12 upper moons. 

.With you, you were the only human he valued as he does not care much for humanity. 

.You were someone he valued even though you are not really strong at all. 

.To him you are a treasure. 

.Someone that he will keep by his side and cherish. 

.He does not speak to you a lot, mostly sitting in silence with you. 

.How he rarely speaks to you, and when he does speak to you the words are chosen with great care and with immense empathy. 

.He can understand your fears of being with a demon and for you to be afraid of becoming a demon. 

.He assures you that being with him you will always be protected as he is a very protective yandere. 

.He is one of the few upper moons that would not need to ask Muzan to have you as his. 

.Muzan trusts him enough to let him have a human pet but to him, you are going to be more than that. 

.You are going to be his spouse, he comes from the time of the Samurai, in which it was more common for Samurai to be bisexual so in canon a lot of samurai could be bisexual~ 

(fun fact samurai once in Japan fought against a law to ban sodomy. Because a lot of samurai were bisexual or gay and there is even a saying of a dual-wielding samurai (or two/dual sword) in which two swords was a saying for a bisexual, sorry if I got the saying wrong I don't remember it word for word, but yes in real historical stuff, a lot of samurai were in fact bisexuals and fought for the right to butt sex! History is A LOT gayer than people want you to believe) 

.So to him it did not matter your gender, and the fact that he has lived over four hundred years he is most likely more open-minded to who he beds. 

.He does value strength so he would train you as well, working out with you and showing you how to wield a sword, and maybe even teaching you moon breathing. 

.He chooses his words carefully with you and says them slowly and with such power that allows you to see how much authority and power he has over you. 

.Because he would not let you forget that he has this power over you. 

.He will always remind you that he is in control. So much that when he reprimands you and shows his authority over you it might be seen as cruel or mean. 

.It is not to be cruel or mean but he asserts his authority and power over you to keep you in line. 

.He is the type of yandere who is not aggressive or cruel or nasty. He just keeps the order that he is your husband and that you are to obey your husband. 

.He comes from a time when the spouse of the husband had to obey their husband. So he would expect you to do so as well, no matter what gender you have. 

.Because he is stronger than you and the dominant man in the relationship so he expects this. 

.Of course, he is not cruel and would not abuse you, but he is more leaning toward the traditional relationship he had with his late wife. 

.He is obsessed with legacy. So if you can carry a pregnancy he may even try as a demon to get you pregnant to carry on his and your names. 

.Although unlike some yanderes he can admit when he crossed a line or pushed you to fair. 

.He can admit when he is wrong and to be honest where he has failed you his darling. 

.He admits when he has pushed you too far or when he killed a rival for a selfish reason. 

.He would not hide from you his obsessive love he would be forward and honest with what he wants from you. 

.He would be the type of yandere to give you gifts and do sentimental things for you as well. 

.Bringing you many flowers and small thoughtful gifts. 

.He would also read to you, some of his favorite books he has collected over the years as well. 

.He loves to spend time with you nearby, but his favorite is holding you in his arms as he listens to your heartbeat and breathing~ 

.Running his hands over your body and or through your hair. 

.Just having you close to him makes him feel so good. 

.He does not tolerate rivals, not one bit. 

.He is Upper Moon 1, so he should have NO rivals for your love. 

.If someone does try and steal your love from him then he will not hesitate to see it as a challenge and kill them. 

.Yes he does not give any chances they try and steal you from him and they are dead. End of story. 

.He would have confessed to you, after doing one or two ways. 

.The first way is that he kidnaps you, most likely this is after you may have freaked out of seeing him. 

.He does not want to risk you running from him or being stolen from him so if there is a risk of that he would have kidnapped you. 

.If he does not kidnap you he will come and see you often. 

.Courting you and maybe even giving a dowery to your parents for your hand in marriage. 

.He would confess to you with the dowery if he can or confess to you and ask you for your hand in marriage. 

.If it is the first way where he kidnaps you he would give you no choice and just tell you he loves you and that you are to be his spouse and one day he will turn you into a demon. 

.First, he wants to know you love him first, so he is willing to wait. 

.If he does the second of courting you he will ask for your hand in marriage or the dowery like I said if he could. 

.if you did not accept his love he would kidnap you. 

.With the dowery if your parents did not accept he would kill them and kidnap you. 

.If the dowery was accepted he would marry you right away and then bed you, turning you into a demon when he chooses to. 

.If you accepted his love without the dowery he is over the moon (hehe moon hashira being over the mon heh) and start to plan the perfect wedding for you and him. 

.Once he marries you he will turn you into a demon once again when he chooses to, it might even be after years of being married to him. 

.In the end either way he will make you love him, have you marry him, and then he will choose when to turn you into a demon. 

.He is a patient yandere and willing to play the long game. 

.bonus he can become a very jealous yandere. 

.He does not like to share you at all and is very very jealous if you showed interest in ANYONE else! 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

.

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

Could you do jackieshauna fic recs please? I loveee them!

Oh ABSOLUTELY!!! Thank you for asking!

There’s so many that I could recommend, and there’s no way I’d remember them all, so these are just some of my favourites from my bookmarks, mostly longer or multichap ones! All are complete unless otherwise stated. If you end up reading any I’d love to know what you think!

Putting them under the cut because this is a LONG post!

Check ratings before reading! Some are explicit or mature and I forgot to note that.

O Nyghtengale by nainabanaina

19k words, fantasy AU. Shauna is an exiled knight and Jackie is a Fae creature she’s instructed to kill in order to end her exile. Very pretty, nice and short novella type story. Written for The Princess and The Butcher prompt.

folie à deux by zoeyclarke

10k words, very dark. This is not a happy fic, but it is incredibly, incredibly well written. One of those fics that haunts you with how beautiful but twisted it is. Essentially a yearly ritual Shauna performs after returning from the wilderness as a way of dealing with grief. Technically major character death.

knock knock, let the devil in by TheDragonsLittleBird

58k words, Venom!Shauna AU. A very fun ride start to finish, heavy on the action and plot, mostly Shauna centric. You don’t need to know anything about Venom to enjoy the fic, but having some knowledge lets you pick up on extra little details. Author has also written incredible Spider!Lottie stories that exist in the same universe and happen before the events of this fic, but both can be read alone.

loudest are the things unsaid by 0gasstationcoffee

55k words, pre-canon. This is an explicit fic. Like, the plot is that Jackie and Shauna do progressively gayer things together while Jackie reminds Shauna that she’s totally not gay. It’s somewhat angsty, very hot, and very well written, great characterization as well. Because this technically is pre-cannon the ending is hopeful but not a ‘happily ever after’.

always be my baby by tabithatwo

343k words, incomplete. A fandom classic up there with you stay with the earth. A phenomenal read. Present day timeline au where Jackie survived, but Shauna doesn’t know that until the blackmail and other mysterious things start happening to our girls. This one has everything. Ensamble story of all our favourite ladies, suspense, action, intrigue, romance, this is a full blown novel that creates its own immersive universe. Long but worth savouring.

I feel more free than I have in years (six feet in the ground) by fowles

139k words, college au. The crash never happens but Jackie and Shauna still have their falling out, and both head to college separately, this is the story of them slowly reuniting over the four years they are apart. My summary will not do this story justice. This is THE college AU for me. Along with our in-show favourites the author also includes original characters that are part of the university journey, especially Shauna’s, and you will love them like you do the characters from the show, they are that well developed. Also featuring Jackie and Natalie bestfriendism, a huge bonus for me. If you read and liked ‘this little girl breaks furniture’ you will love this one, similar vibes.

when you look my way by shipmvn

318k words, incomplete. Honestly anything written by shipmvn you can assume will be amazing, and this is no exception. A canon-divergent fic where our team is rescued in a timely fashion and return to their lives in Wiskayok, but even though they were rescued quickly that isn’t something you move past easily. Very very slow burn, but tender and lovely all the way through.

all i wanted was you by britishngay

174k words, no plane crash AU. Set several years out of high school and after the falling out, our girls are grown up with lives and careers completely separate from each other. Until life throws them together again and they realize the tension that helped blow up their friendship is definitely still there. So they fuck about it. Friends with benefits AU, basically, but with a fully fleshed out world and plot and it’s a delicious read.

Taylor’s Eleven by mademyselfmythical

49k words, Oceans Eleven AU. Absolutely hilarious concept with flawless execution. It is what it says on the tin, it’s a heist story (or an anti-heist if you ask Jackie) but it’s also absolutely a comedy. Basically Jackie accidentally drives a getaway van and is determined to return what she inadvertently helped steal. A pure joy to read.

this little girl breaks furniture, this little girl breaks laws by Bandydear

155k words, rescued quickly but life keeps going, canon-divergent fic. Another classic. Top five if not top three JackieShauna fics I’ve read. You will fall in love with this world. Another JackieNat bestfriendism fic, and although this is technically both JackieShauna and LottieNat, Jackie and Nat’s friendship is truly the heart of this fic. Basically Jackie and Nat get a tiny flat in New York and together they learn how to live. Also one of the few fics that casually nails how fucked up Jackie and Shauna are about each other, but like, in a very much ‘match my freak’ way.

Who’s That Knocking At My Window? by nainabanaina

101k words, Vamp!Jackie AU! This fic is such a fun ride, it has a whole self contained plot and could be a book on its own essentially. Just, so much fun. Basically Jackie returns to Shauna, but a little bit wrong. Most of the story is told post-rescue.

VEAL by anaphoruh

80k words, time travel fic. This is definitely one that I’d read the summary and tags for, as it is an age gap fic (1996-ish timeline Jackie and 2021 timeline Shauna) with some darker aspects, but in my opinion it’s delicious. Incredible writing paired with exploring the darker aspects involved in Jackie and Shauna’s dynamic, but mostly in Shauna’s mind (because Shauna lived through the rest of the wilderness and then essentially another lifetime carrying the grief and the guilt of what happened out there. That doesn’t go away when some glitch it the timeline gives you back your teenage love a lifetime later.)

freeze, crash, burn, bury, linger by zoeyclarke

64k words, timeloop AU. This was one of the first longer fics I ever read for Yellowjackets! This author writes incredible fics that tend to be on the darker side, but this one is an exception. As frustrating and angsty but also funny as timeloops should be! Jackie relives the day of the crash again. And again. And again. Something has to change, right?

as i scan this wasted land, try to find the way i feel by commanderofraccoons

38k words, timetravel AU, but not in the way you think. When I first read the summary for this fic I wasn’t sure it was going to be my thing, but it was one of my first favourites I ended up discovering. Callie, Shauna’s daughter, gets yeeted back in time and space to the Canadian wilderness in 1996 with only her vape and her partially charged iPhone. Totally out of her depth, she finds an unlikely ally in Jackie, and helps mend some cracks along the way.

memento mori by britishngay

46k words, gladiator AU! Another totally wild AU, also written for The Princess and The Butcher prompt. A delightful read that tells its own story but keeps the heart of our beloved characters. A pleasure to read, would legitimately read this as its own stand alone book.

honey, you’re familiar (like my mirror years ago) by novel_concept26

40k words, timetravel AU. Another timetravel AU, but this time the whole gang is along for the ride! Not strictly a JackieShauna fic, this truly is an ensamble story, but it’s charming and adorable and Jackie does play a very important role.

kingdom for a kiss by hanjisgirlfriend

14k words, and they were Roommates! I usually most enjoy fics that are around or upwards of 20k because I feel like that gives enough time to fully flesh out a story, but this fic manages to tell an entire story, and beautifully at that, in only 14k words. Basically one of Jackie Taylor’s roommates doesn’t like her, and over the course of four months she strives to change that.

i look to you and i see nothing by theyellowumbrella

67k words, roadtrip au. Before you read this you MUST (in my opinion) read the companion fic ‘blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you’, 18k words. The companion piece was my first introduction to JackieNat bestfriendism and after reading it I could never turn back. Both fics are absolutely incredible, well written, beautiful journeys.

only you can breathe me back to life by RynWill

66k words, incomplete. Zombie!Jackie AU! Another ‘came back wrong’ fic! I love love love this fic, it’s just fun. Like, it’s both Yellowjackets and a zombie fic, so it gets dark and a little gory at times, but it’s basically a rom-com. Yes it’s incomplete but it’s so worth reading.

you stay with the earth by knifecrab

176k words, incomplete. Do I even need to put this one on here? This is THE canon-divergent wilderness fic for JackieShauna fans, even one of the people managing the Yellowjackets twitter has read it. It’s basically required reading. Some lovely people did give me a heads up for some postpartum depression in the later chapters, so I’m passing that knowledge along so you know going in.

wander your own land by namelessblade

379k words, incomplete. Very similar vibes to you stay with the earth, another canon divergent fic set in the wilderness where both Jackie and wilderness baby live, but notably darker. I found the later chapters a little bit frustrating to read, but it was a result of GOOD writing, you know that feeling of ‘I know this character WOULD do this, but I WANT them to smarten up’? Yeah, that. Absolutely worth a read, also big on the JackieNat friendship agenda, which is always a bonus.

you’re just a bee charmer by tabithatwo

53k words, catfishing/texting AU. I think this was legitimately the first JackieShauna fic I ever read? That was a while ago so I might actually go back and read this one, but it’s lovely and funny and pretty lighthearted. Also like everything tabithatwo writes it’s just generally incredible. Essentially Jackie and Jeff finally break up (for real this time) and to prevent their rollercoaster of a on-again off-again relationship from continuing Shauna decides Jackie just needs to know she has options. It was just supposed to be a quick supportive comment from a stranger to boost her self-esteem, really! But it certainly doesn’t stay that way. Definitely a go-to for a feel-good read.

talk, valentina! by shauna_apologist

78k words, no crash AU. Another one I read early on! Shauna starts getting bullied and rumours start to spread about her possibly not being straight, and Jackie takes it upon herself to become a better ally for her bff and her team. She gets a little more than she bargained for. Basically Jackie learns about comp-het and some things start to click into place. For a fic that does discuss bullying and comp-het this is a mostly fun, lighthearted read!

a secret third thing by jackiesear (Ash46luvr)

22k words, kid fic! Wilderness baby survives and upon returning to civilization Shauna starts to build a life for her and little Jack, and Aunt Jackie plans on being there every step of the way. Family dynamics can be confusing, but perhaps Jack actually sees something they don’t when Aunt Jackie starts to become ‘Mama’. Absolutely adorable fic, everything you could want out of a kid fic. Cozy from start to finish.

fixer upper by woodenpicador

27k words, rescued after three days/post college AU. Another one I read and loved early on. Jackie returns to Wiskayok after college to purchase a house with her boyfriend, but she soon realizes the house might need a little more work than she first thought. Luckily Nat knows a guy. (Spoilers, that guy is Shauna Shipman. But Jackie really does need to get this work done, and Shauna needs a place to stay, so they can be adults about it for a while, right?) Small town AU vibes, which I suppose is literally what it is.

once you stop, stop looking (it’ll hit you in the face) by novel_concept26

21k words, camping AU! This story is basically ‘what if instead of forced team bonding through trauma in the Canadian wilderness, the team just goes camping?’ and it is delightful. Not strictly JackieShauna but they’re definitely part of it, this is another true ensamble story. I basically smiled reading through the whole thing.

it’s like you’re made of angel dust by theyellowumbrella

34k words, college/sorority AU. Shauna is an aspiring journalism student who is looking for her ticket out and up to Brown where she belongs. Stuck at college for the time being she decides an exposé on Greek life is bound to be that ticket, so she works to infiltrate a sorority to get her scoop, but meets glowingly beautiful, kind, and surprisingly genuine Jackie Taylor in the process. A well written, fun, and mostly light read with some angst and inner ethical turmoil for spice.

WHEW this is a long post and took me a while to write, but I hope it’s worth it! It was genuinely fun to make! All fics are on AO3, I didn’t do links bc my bookmarks are on my laptop and I’m typing this up on my phone, sorry!

Edited to add links! So many of these authors also have other incredible works as well, if you enjoy one of the fics I highly encourage you to check out the author for their other works!

[autumnleaf1111]

𝙸𝚏 𝚋𝚜𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚎𝚝:

The “Chuuya shoots Dazai” scene

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Chuuya: this is probably the gayest scene we’ve done… Asagiri! What are even doing anymore!?

Asagiri: making the audience suffer— I MEAN, we need drama.

Dazai: uh huh…

Fyodor: nah fam, y’all two have done gayer shit.

Yosano: “you used corruption believing in me? How beautiful…” you two made that scene so much gayer than it was intended.

Ranpo: WHERE IS ED?!?!?!

Nikolai: Yo, Fedya! You got the garlic breath and pecans?

Fyodor: yup! You got the knives and water?

Nikolai: mhm!

Yosano: tf is yall about to do…?

Fyodor: Dawg, Our business, is our business so kindly kys.

Ranpo: DID NO ONE HEAR ME?!?!

Dazai: yall here sum’ ?

Chuuya: Nah, I think I still got some water in my ear from when we were supposed to drown me and Fyodor.

Higuchi: I can smack your gay ass upside the head if you need?

Chuuya: where tf did you come from?!

Higuchi: My dead mother, NOW WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TAKE MY SHERBET?!?!

Gin: uh, that was me, my bad fam.

Higuchi: I’m telling your brother you have a boyfriend.

Gin: BRO WHAT?! IM INTO GIRLS TF

Higuchi: get me new sherbet then

Gin: no, tf? It’s like 3 bucks, you’re not broke.

Mori: both of you stfu before I take away your crowns.

Gin: whatever

Higuchi: *rolls eyes*

Fukuzawa: Mori, your daughter is trying to break into the alcohol room again.

Mori: Motherfuck— ELISE ELORI ANYA, WHAT DID WE TALK ABout………slowly fades from the room

Kunikida: has anyone seen Katai? We were supposed to go to the new cafe later but I can’t find him.

Nikolai: I saw him by the cameras, I think he was trying to fix it or smth, idfk

Kunikida: Thanks Kolya—

Fyodor: Oi! Watch it Kunikida, only I can call him Kolya.

Kunikida: I get it Fyodor, you’re in love with Nikolai but that doesn’t mean you need to be such a simp.

Fyodor: I am not—

Chuuya, Dazai, Yosano, Higuchi, Gin: Yes you are.

Kunikida: you’re lucky he’s not paying attention, as usual.

Fyodor: alright stfu. Kolya, let’s head out for now, we still got an hour before we gotta be back.

Nikolai: ‘ight, Let’s get boba!

Fyodor: whatever you’d like, Kolya!

Dazai: Nah…they’re so gay for each other, yet too stupid to realize it.

Yosano: you can’t be talking, you’re just as stupid.

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Scene: Dead Apple, Chuuya’s gotta put his face in Dazai’s crotch—

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Chuuya, reviewing the script: *murmurs* then you lean your head close in Dazai's lap— I NEED TO DO WHAT?!?!

Dazai, sitting across from Chuuya: nah, wtf, BRO?!?! ASAGIRI, IM COMING FOR YOU TOMORROW.

Chuuya: There's no way I'm doing that! It's ridiculous!

Dazai: I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to do acting with you.

Chuuya: we are gonna be laughing the whole time— what is Asagiri trying to accomplish?!

Yosano, sitting beside Asagiri, handing him a container of random foods: thank you for doing this, they need to get their feeling together, so if this doesn’t work, I’m locking them in a closet until they talk shit out.

Asagiri, sipping on his soda: so, who should we do next?

Yosano: hm… how about my idiot brother Ranpo and his “best friend” Poe, they are so in love it’s unbelievable.

Asagiri: wait— they aren’t already together?!

Yosano: Nope! Sadly.

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Scene: Nikolai frees Fyodor and Dazai, then calls Fyodor his best friend.

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Fyodor: holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!

Sigma: Bro, you good?

Fyodor: fuck, fuck, FUCK—

Sigma: Uh— Fyodor? Yo! Russian rat bitch, Are you okay?

Chuuya: no, he’s not

Sigma: Why? Tf did Dazai do to him?

Dazai: I didn’t do shit!

Sigma: then why is dawg freaking out like his favorite drag queen just died?

Chuuya: you remember the part where Nikolai held his hands?

Sigma: yeah? Why?

Dazai: well, considering it wasn’t in the script, Fyodor wasn’t expecting his crush to grab his hands so now he’s freaking out.

Nikolai: is Fedya okay?

Dazai: oh he’s fine, he’s just having a gay panic right now.

Nikolai: uh, why?

Chuuya, trying not to laugh: Bro, Nikolai, you grabbing Fyodors hands wasn’t in the script so of course he’s flustered by you, you make him blush all the time.

Nikolai: I make Fedya blush?

Dazai: Every time you get close to him he blushes and is nicer to you than the rest of us, I think Fyodor has a crush on you, Nikolai. I know you like him too.

Chuuya: Dawg, don’t even try to deny it Nikolai, I’ve seen you two have a cuddle session in the break room, you and Fyodor may not be together but you are definitely in love.

Nikolai: ok look, yes, I’m in love with Fedya, but like hell I’m gonna say somthing. I’d rather not ruin what we have now.

Sigma: I’ll lock you two in a closet until you talk about your feelings.

Nikolai: uh— no?!

Chuuya: Nikolai, Fyodor is your best friend and you’re in love with him, he’s in love with you, it’s not that hard to figure out, so tell him you love him.

Nikolai: you have no room to talk, Chuuya, you’re also in love with your best friend.

Chuuya: SHH, he’s literally right there!

Sigma: I’m gonna lock you and Dazai in a closet to talk about your feelings, as well.

Chuuya: no, I’m good

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Scene: Tecchou fighting Kenji

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Kenji: Man, when we finish filming the show, I hope that Jouno gets to live in the end, then you two can have a lovers kiss!

Tecchou: Wait what—

Jouno:What?!

Kenji: oh, c’mon! You two have so much chemistry on screen!

Jouno: Kenji, there are no feelings involved for me and Tecchou, the show isn’t even a love story!

Kenji: With the way Asagiri has everyone acting in this, it’s basically a BL

Tecchou: Kenji, why do you know what BL is, aren’t you 10 or something?

Kenji: I’m 14, not 10, but still, even off cameras you two act like a married couple.

Jouno: we don’t act like a married couple.

Kenji:I could convince Asagiri to have you two adopt me in the show later…

Tecchou: No—

Jouno: just drop it, he’s not letting this go.

Tecchou: Whatever, let’s go back to the dorms.

Jouno: Mkay

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Scene: none, just them being dumbasses

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Higuchi, kicks the break room door open: if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Everyone:…

Higuchi: Damn, all y’all hoes depressed.

Q: you didn’t clap either.

Higuchi: SHUT THE FUCK UP—

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elise, trying to go with Dazai when he left the Mafia

Dazai:you can’t go…

Elise, still trying.

Dazai: no…I’m sorry, you can’t go.

Elise: fuck you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gin, sitting on the steps to her apartment.

Some lady walking by: and they were roommates.

Gin: oh my god they were roommates.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elise: CHUUYA! Is that weed?!?!

Chuuya: no— it’s a crayon—

Elise: I’m calling the police!!!

Elise, types 911 on the microwave waves and they answer.

Chuuya:….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai: you either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds.

Q: we going to McDonalds if it don’t do my work?!

Dazai: No?!?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kajii, poor a box of cereal in a bowl but lemons come out.

Kajii: welp, when life gives you lemons.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chuuya: Q, let me see what you have!!!!

Q: A KNIFE!!!!

Chuuya: NO!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[rrcenic]

i first read good omens when i was in 3rd or 4th grade (pre covid and pre tv show) and i remember going and asking my dad what the line “gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide”

and he was kinda awkward and panicky and looking back on it he was probably trying to figure out how to explain homosexuality to his 9 year old

i was confused by his reaction at the time bc i already knew what gay meant, had come to the conclusion that crowley and aziraphale were love interests, and just wanted to know what the fuck nitrous oxide was