#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide
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in the good omens fandom we don't say "they are gay". we say:
#im dyinggg what is that😭😭#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#okay🤨#good omens book#good omens#good omens book quotes#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#crowly x aziraphale#good omens season 2#neil gaiman#terry pratchett#quotes#book quotes
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S6E16 of House MD... The whole ass episode is about love and relationship. . . Except House and Wilson's story line. . ? I guess???? Like Wilson's personality is canonically poeple/House pleaser, and House asks him to buy furniture that represents who he is... he buys an organ for House.. HOW IS THAT NOT ROMANTIC YOUR HONOUR??? Like Taub's storyline is about showing his wife he loves her. The teenagers storyline is also about love, sex and relationships, and they could have easily made it a Huddy episode but they chose Hilson.. I cannot imagine a straight reason, like I'm a Hilson shipper for life, with a leniency for Hudson but... How can you even begin to explain this episode in a platonic, absolutely non-romantic way??? I am so confused by House writers.. 🤨
#hatecrimes md#gregory house#hilson#house md#dr house#james wilson#dr wilson#I cannot begin to understand House writers mind#s6e16#malpractice md#house x wilson#this shit so gay#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#yapping#Brrop's House Rewatch
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I had forgotten that these two oft quoted lines are in the same paragraph. 😅☺️
“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not in England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort. But he was intelligent. And it was an angelic intelligence which, while not being particularly higher than human intelligence, is much broader and has the advantage of having thousands of years of practice.”
#good omens#book!omens#good omens book#good omens quotes#aziraphale#crowley#make an effort#ineffable motherfuckers#ineffable husbands#ineffable*#aziracrow#gomens*#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#making an Effort#neil gaiman#terry pratchett#gnu terry pratchett
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i first read good omens when i was in 3rd or 4th grade (pre covid and pre tv show) and i remember going and asking my dad what the line “gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide”
and he was kinda awkward and panicky and looking back on it he was probably trying to figure out how to explain homosexuality to his 9 year old
i was confused by his reaction at the time bc i already knew what gay meant, had come to the conclusion that crowley and aziraphale were love interests, and just wanted to know what the fuck nitrous oxide was
#nics stuff#good omens#ineffable husbands#good omens book#book omens#ineffable spouses#azicrow#aziraphale good omens#crowley good omens#not art#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide
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I’ve been going through the Google reviews for Good Omens and it’s hilarious because it’s so easy to tell who hasn’t read the book. 'Why did they have to go and make it gay?' clearly you’ve never heard Aziraphale described as "gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide (pg 151)"
#good omens#good omens book#aziraphale#crowley#david tennant#michael sheen#ineffable husbands#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#neil gaiman
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Since gender is a human invention the “rules” of which change a lot over time, the way in which I imagine Aziraphale to be agender and Crowley to be genderqueer is
Humans: here you go, it’s called gender
Aziraphale: ah. Hmm. No thank you.
Crowley: *doing everything wrong* like that?
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#genderqueer#agender#the plant hissperer#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#nonbinary
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feeling gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. happy pride month. say ur prayers to neil gaiman.
#good omens#aziraphale#innefable idiots#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#cant believe thats an existing tag#pride month#good omens book#neil gaiman#pride#queer omens#gay omens#wrynne's posts
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Wondering what Mrs. Henderson must have been thinking on first meeting Aziraphale.
Since Aziraphale:
pauses significantly before referring to Crowley as 'his good friend'
proceeds to pull his handkerchief out of his pocket and wave it around in the most adorably gay way imaginable ('I'm no stranger to the art of prestidigitation!')
has Crowley act as his 'trusted stooge and confidant' as part of his magic show
There's really only one conclusion you can come to about that.
But then it occurred to me; they've probably been causing this misunderstanding for the whole of human history.
For centuries they've been meeting up clandestinely in male form in public places, and when people correctly make the assumption that they're friends since they're acting so chummy, Aziraphale then proceeds to deny it very hotly (i.e. at the Globe, 'oh he's not my friend, we've never met before, we don't know each other'), to the extent that everyone around them probably thinks 'Ah, they're fucking'.
#good omens#good omens s2#good omens 2#gomens#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#aziraphale x crowley#ineffable idiots#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#aziraphale the only person you're fooling is yourself#ah they're fucking
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OK but Mondays? Mondays are for thinking about Gayer Than A Tree Full of Monkeys on Nitrous Oxide Aziraphale and That Flash Bastard Crowley:
Regblog with your faves, these are just some of mine.
Also, see Sundays are for...
#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#i love when crowley has fun being a chaotic bastard#and when aziraphale has fun playing dress up#i bet crowley feels so Cool Guy James Bond when he does mischief#i love them your honor#crowley is gender goals#crowley my beloved#aziraphale my beloved#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#i need to be put down
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Aziraphale waking Crowley up in 1914
#bright young things#ineffable husbands#good omens#chaotic academia#aziraphale#crowley#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide
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SIR TIERGAN ALENFAR FOR KEEPER SEXYMAN 2024 BITCHES
MY MANS HUSBAND HAS BEEN IN EXILE AND IS STILL HOT
MY MAN COMMITTED CRIMES
MY MAN IS A ROCK
MY MAN HAS A FAMILY AND KIDS
MY MAN SAVED HIS HUSBAND
HE IS GAY
HE IS NONMANIPULATIVE
HE IS A REBEL
#tiergan alenefar#tiertice#kotlc tiergan#kotlc#would kill someone for this man#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#keeper sexyman 2024
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"How's your naked man... friend?"
Source
#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#gos2#good omens 2#aziracrow#Gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#Same Nina same#sneekpeek#Nina his husband is in front of him please#good omens season 2 spoilers#good omens spoilers
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happy gay christmas!! 🌛🎃👻
here's my nice and accurate Aziraphale from halloween of '21, because I flopped this year's costume. the wig may have been cheap, but I assure you - the rest was even cheaper!!
sending out smooches to all the Crowleys, wherever you are!
#aziraphale#thats putting it generously#halloween#good omens#ineffable wives#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#aziraphale cosplay#but i had so much fun!#i like to sprinkle a little lesbianity in#if crowley please interact lol#good omens cosplay#my posts#spooky season#ineffable husbands#marcela talks
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My Etsy Shop is Open Again!
#stucky#bucky#bucky barnes#captain america#the winter soldier#be gay do crimes#good omens#good omens 2#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#neil gaiman#terry pratchett#neil gaiman and terry pratchett#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#ineffable idiots#ofmd#our flag means death#our flag means spoilers#ofmd season 2#ofmd fuck you stede bonnet#fuck you stede bonnet#stede bonnet#blackbeard#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#i love everything about you
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When I call Aziraphale gay, I’m not calling him a gay man, because he isn’t. But Aziraphale’s gayness isn’t his sexuality, more of his state of being. He is not a man nor does he love a man but by god he’s gay
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A Little Jeongmin For The Soul
Jeongin suppresses the shiver of anticipation running down his spine, wracking his body with goosebumps, as he hears the front door open. He’s kept the bedroom door ajar, just the slightest bit, waiting.
Despite the chill in the air from the AC and the lack of clothing on his starkly naked body, he feels ablaze as he hears the footsteps slowly approaching the bedroom with an exhausted call of his name. Seungmin’s back from a meeting he had with their producer for the band’s upcoming EP, and Jeongin knows from Hyunjin that he and Jisung would be spending the night at Minho’s apartment, leaving Jeongin and Seungmin all alone in their place.
Jeongin can’t let the opportunity go to waste—not when he’s seen the way Seungmin looked at him a couple of days before during their fanmeet. The stylists put Jeongin in a decidedly risque outfit—ripped shorts and fishnet stockings reaching up to his mid-thighs, his oreo hair with light brown highlights permed to get a fluffy, wavy look, paired with a choker fit snugly around his neck, a metallic ring attached to the front of it. Seungmin looked at him as if he were seconds away from ravaging him, his dark eyes conveying that they wanted to bend him over the desk right then and there, their fans and members be damned, and take him.
Jeongin shudders at the memory, trailing his fingers from where they’re lazily wrapped around his cock to instead loop around the metallic ring on his choker, giving it a pull. He imagines Seungmin’s finger, tightly gripping the ring, yanking him forward by the neck while he’s folded in half and getting fucked within an inch of his life.
The door creaks open, Seungmin’s eyes droopy from the calls of slumber. Seungmin’s halfway through shucking off his jacket when he notices Jeongin—laid out on Seungmin’s bed, full skin on display, pale against the wine-red bed-sheets. Jeongin doesn’t suppress the simper from curling his lips as he parts his thighs, feet planted on the mattress, legs moving tantalizingly slow, as if opening the curtains to the main show. The stockings chafe at his bare calves, and Jeongin has to bite his lip to not make a noise. Seungmin’s frozen, tethered to his place by the open door, gawking at the sight of Jeongin’s hole dripping with the lube he used to open himself up. Seungmin trails his eyes from his legs to his leaking cock before finally stopping at his neck.
“Innie?”
He sounds so affected— as if he’s the one that’s fucked out, just from the sight of Jeongin alone, and the low, almost incredulous tone of his voice has Jeongin’s dick twitching in anticipation.
“Minnie- hyung— ” Jeongin’s voice cuts off on a low groan as he wraps a hand around his cock and starts a slow pump. He parts his legs even more, his hole clenching around nothing as he puts on a show for Seungmin.
“You’re so impatient , aren’t you baby?” Seungmin seems to have regained some of his composure, enough that he quietly clicks the door shut behind him and starts to slowly take off his clothes.
Jeongin smirks, can see the stiffness of his movements betraying how affected he is, his jaw tensed and his breaths deep as if he’s trying to calm down. Seungmin only takes off his jacket and watch, carefully keeping the accessory onto his desk before ambling his way over to Jeongin who turns his head to watch. Jeongin beams up at him, hand still stroking his cock. He tilts his head, his fluffy hair getting into his eyes and fanned out over the pillow underneath.
Seungmin kneels on bed, climbing up and closing the distance between them to situate himself between Jeongin’s thighs. He places his palms onto his thighs, the touch firm as he glides them from his knee to his hips then back down under, the calloused tips of his fingers pressing into the sensitive skin of Jeongin’s inner thighs. Jeongin hisses from the touch, arching up into it, aching for more as he flexes his thighs, knowing that Seungmin loves to feel his conditioned muscles.
“ Hyung— ” he whimpers, slightly speeding up his strokes as he tightens his fist around his cock, eyes lidded and glazed over as he pleads for Seungmin.
Seungmin clicks his tongue and reaches a hand out to grip his wrist, halting his movements before dragging his hands away from his cock. “No touching yourself, Innie.”
“But hyu— ”
“Jeongin.” Seungmin shuts down Jeongin’s whine of protest, eyes sharpening and pupils dilated, a dangerous glint in them. Jeongin tries not to grin—too easy.
It’s always way too easy to get what he wants from Seungmin. He slides his free hand up to his neck, ghosts his fingers over the leather wrapped around it. Seungmin follows the movement with a look that’s bordering on feral and Jeongin basks in the attention.
“Do you like it?” Jeongin says conversationally but he’s breathless from the way Seungmin’s fingers dig into the meat of his thighs, the other hand holding his wrist in a crushing grip. “I asked the stylists if I could take it home, just for you, Seungminnie.”
The corners of Seungmin’s lips twitch into a smirk, a little derisive, and a whole lot reverent. Seungmin thinks he’s good at pretending, at hiding how gone he is for Jeongin, but to Jeongin he’s like an open book. Seungmin leans down close, freeing Jeongin’s wrist so he can grip the back of Jeongin’s thighs and starts to lift them, pushing them up and folding Jeongin in half almost. Jeongin whimpers at the stretch, at the way his cock jumps, weeping to be touched, the way his walls clench, desperate to be filled.
Seungmin grins, wolfish, as he grinds his bulge against Jeongin’s hole, teasing and mean, and pins Jeongin with amused eyes. “Yeah? Did you wanna be collared that bad, baby? Want to feel owned, like a fucking mutt ?” He says the insults like it’s the lyrics of a love song and Jeongin keens just from the words, baring his neck and squirming in place, desperate for Seungmin to fill him.
“ Hyung–ah! ” Jeongin gasps when Seungmin dives down and bites the metallic ring on his collar and pulls, knocking the wind out of him temporarily.
Seungmin pulls back, grinning down at the way Jeongin’s eyes are glassy, lips parted and breaths ragged without even being touched. “Bad dogs, Innie-yah, get a leash on them.” Seungmin starts, voice low, heavy. Jeongin bites back the whimper threatening to escape his lips, instead swallowing thickly around the lump in his throat. “And you, ” Seungmin pauses to lean down close enough that Jeongin’s feels his hot breaths wafting over his lips, “are a really bad boy, aren’t you?”
Jeongin’s going crazy with want, the urge to just push Seungmin back and fuck himself on his cock overwhelming, yet the bigger part of him is so fucking turned on by how derisive and commanding Seungmin is and all Jeongin can do is nod— urgent and desperate and imploring. “Hy-hyung, please, I nee—”
“Hm?” Seungmin cuts him off again, raising a judgmental brow. “Do bad boys deserve to be demanding, Innie?”
Jeongin groans, the words sending heat down south. He’s so hard it hurts and if he doesn’t get Seungmin’s cock inside him in the next 5 seconds he’ll explode just from his voice. So, he does what he knows will get Seungmin to break—his lips pull into a pout, lower lip jutting out and cheeks puffing up, eyes wide and glossy, begging.
“Hyungie, I’ll be good, I promise—please hyung—!”
“Please what, Innie?” Seungmin says sharply, one of his hands leaving Jeongin’s thigh to instead reach up to his neck, his long, thick finger looping inside the metal ring. Seungmin pulls back and drinks in the sight underneath him—Jeongin flushed down to his chest, panting like a dog in heat. His calves sheathed in the stockings tight around his flesh. And he yanks Jeongin up without so much as a warning, the choker pulling Jeongin up and causing him to release a strangled noise. Seungmin brings him up till their noses brush, tilts his head and looks straight into Jeongin’s shocked eyes. “ Words, Jeongin. Tell me what exactly you want.”
Jeongin gulps, his breaths constricted by the leather around him that’s still within Seungmin’s merciless grip.
“Fuck me—I want y— need you—to fuck me, hyung, please !” he garbles out, feeling a little lightheaded from how little oxygen is reaching his brain.
Seungmin smiles, satisfied with his answer. “If you ask so nicely —”
It’s all a blur—one moment Seungmin let go of his collar and Jeongin’s flopping down onto the mattress with a gasp, the next Seungmin’s completely naked and plunging inside him, balls-deep, all at once, his cock splitting him open in a delicious stretch that punches out of Jeongin a moan so loud that it’s bordering on a scream.
The pace is punishing from the start, not a wasted movement, not a moment spared for Jeongin to get used to him inside him. Seungmin plants his arms next to Jeongin’s head, caging him in and leaning down, folding Jeongin’s knees even further . Seungmin noses the skin around his choker, snapping his hips with quick yet deep thrusts, making sure Jeongin feels every single millimeter of him inside. It doesn’t help that Seungmin knows exactly where to hit, angling his hips perfectly and grinding over his prostate with every thrust.
Jeongin’s a mess of incoherent babbles of Seungmin’s name and wanton moans, throwing his head back as he arches his back as best as he can. Seungmin nips the skin of his sensitive neck, eliciting mewls from Jeongin who’s already dangerously close to the edge. Seungmin groans from a particularly tight clench around his cock and immediately trails a hand to Jeongin’s dick and grabs his base painfully tight to stop him from cumming.
“Not yet, Innie. You have to earn it, hm?” Seungmin pants into his skin before biting down hard on the underside of his jaw. Jeongin screams out his name, his orgasm reaching a boiling point yet being unable to cum from Seungmin physically tamping it down.
“ Hy-hyung—hyung please—ah! Ah–ngh, fuck, I’ll be good, hyung, please let me come, hyung— !” Jeongin begs, tears running down his cheeks and hiccuping his words through sobs.
Seungmin bites the ring of his collar again, tugging it so that it scrapes Jeongin’s skin. Jeongin whines from the sensation, arching into it, hands flying up to Seungmin’s shoulders and clamping down on them.
Seungmin pulls back enough to shift around Jeongin’s legs, manhandling him to wrap his legs around Seungmin’s waist before bodily hauling him up and down the bed, fucking Jeongin onto his cock. Jeongin moans, body limp, hands dropping down to the mattress and fisting the sheets as he lets Seungmin fuck him like a blow-up doll. All he can do is cry and moan and plead for Seungmin to let him come, he’s so close and desperate and—
Seungmin suddenly frees Jeongin’s cock, nails digging into the fishnet around his thighs and pulling them hard enough to rip as he fucks Jeongin hard and fast. “Come for me, baby.” Seungmin breathes out, his breaths just as labored as Jeongin’s own, and Jeongin sees stars— eyes rolling to the back of his head, toes curling as his back lifts off the mattress into the shape of a bow and he cums untouched, spurting out his cock in never ending ribbons, painting his chest and stomach in sticky white. “Good boy.” Seungmin punctuates with one final snap of his hips until he’s unloading inside Jeongin, filling him up with his seed.
Jeongin whines from the overstimulation as Seungmin’s hips stutter through his orgasm, fucking his cum deep inside Jeongin, and when Jeongin looks down with bleary eyes, he thinks he sees the skin of his stomach poking out just a little, the sight making another pathetic spurt of cum trickle down his cock.
Seungmin follows his line of and when he spots the bulge, he lets slip a quiet moan, finally stopping his thrusts and palming down on the skin of Jeongin’s abdomen, right where his dick is inside him.
Jeongin whimpers, spasms around from the aftershocks of his orgasm, tears still streaming down his face until Seungmin pulls out of him. They both groan at the drag and Jeongin’s feels Seungmin’s come drip out his hole.
Seungmin shuffles closer to him, getting out from between Jeongin’s thighs to instead lie down next to him. Jeongin turns his head, watery eyes gazing up at Seungmin who’s looking at him with a soft smile. Seungmin’s propped up on an elbow, his free hand cupping Jeongin’s cheek, thumbing away his drying tears.
“Hey, baby.” Seungmin whispers, sounding just as fucked out as Jeongin feels.
Jeongin nuzzles into the touch, revels in it for a few moments with a grin of his own before his lips curve into something more wicked. “You liked the collar that much, did you?”
Seungmin’s smile drops and he lets out a miserable groan, lightly slapping Jeongin’s shoulder and jumping off the bed as Jeongin’s cackles filled the room.
He didn’t leave Jeongin like that, despite how much he probably wanted to let Jeongin suffer, and came back with a wet towel to clean him up while Jeongin ran his insufferable mouth to tease him to hell and back.
#kpop#straykids#seungmin#yang jeongin#jeongin smut#seungmin smut#gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide#that's like really gay bro#A little thought#18+ mdni
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