#but they haven’t achieved that shit yet. they are actually still the men who didn’t talk to each other. who ran away from each other.

[stizzysupremacy]

…

[lochnessies]

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad). 

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace. 

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system. 

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society. 

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious. 

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic. 

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place. 

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

[crvvys]

thinking on my childhood and how I didn’t take boys or heterosexuality seriously and still don’t. even with it everywhere and with my parents being together for the first 11 years of my life, the shit felt fake to me. like men and women were together bc that’s just what you did but it wasn’t about love necessarily. just something you grow up in and have to follow. bc they don’t make sense to me naturally lol. as a kid it was very confusing for me and still is somewhat as an adult bc of the role playing.

which resulted for me as a kid who was obsessed with reputation and respect, the idea that boys weren’t anything to actually care about. I could fight them and hurt their feelings bc who really cares? I was smarter and better than them and they were often disrespectful or stupid which I hated. they meant status and opportunity but not something that equates to romance or love. and I thought when I got married, it would be status or contract based. like if I have to then it’s just bc I have to. for appearances. not something that was rooted in any type of love. the rituals and the roles felt fake. the idea that boys mattered felt fake lol. i could never understand the seriousness behind crushes or crying over boys. if they were annoying I’d block them. men are supposed to be useful and if they aren’t, get rid of them lol.

it always seemed to me that the relationships that mattered and would matter most were the ones with my girl friends. this was very obvious to me bc why else would I be so intense about them? I didn’t know gay people existed until I was like 12 and I was “unusually” very defensive about them lol. gay people were good but I couldn’t be one of them. bc there weren’t any in my family and you just didn’t do that stuff. but I’d push back on disrespect I heard about “the gay lifestyle” bc there was never anything wrong about it to me. my thinking was that I’m definitely not gay but there’s nothing wrong with being gay. even though I was very very intensely devoted to a lot of girls growing up. and fell stupidly in love with a close friend for half of my adolescence lol.

the denial feeling never fully went away. I still have a lot of shame which sucks. less cognitive dissonance. now it’s just “the life you thought you’d live will never happen bc it’s not who you are and you’re a failure to your family” bc the thought of being a “deviant” is pretty bad for your self concept as a kid. I want to live authentically but I have to make it up as I go bc there’s no older gay relative to look up to and that’s scary lol.

I was supposed to be a high achiever and I feel like an othered nothing lmao. high expectations on me from both sides of family bc I’m so smart and well mannered. and I end up being gay and terrified of my life I haven’t lived yet. there’s no room for failure and yet I’ve already failed. I’m working through the fear part bc I know I’m capable of doing great things. but I think I’m going to have to live with the shame bc I can’t do anything to make it leave.

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

I'll be making this into a long fic, but for now I chose to keep it short. Hermitcraft x Dream SMP crossover

Title: button

Grian sat down at the oak wood table, brow furrowed. Another day, another failed attempt to reconnect to Hermitcraft. The strange glitch that had caused the border to fall in the first place must have been repaired, for the world border was back up and running. His communicator didn’t work outside of his home server, and Phil’s crows (who insisted on following the man everywhere, and who Phil had put up to the task of flying between the severs, trying to gather intel on the border glitch and if people were trying to find him) haven’t delivered any news. 

    The builder glanced out the window as the sun set over the horizon. Past that was Hermitcraft. His home. What was Mumbo doing? Scar? Iskall? Xisuma? How was the war progressing without him? Did anyone notice his absence? No, Grian, don’t get sad. Happy thoughts only...Happy thoughts. 

    “Grain!” 

    Torn away from his thoughts, Grian looked up to see Philza, his dark grey wings fluffed up in distress. “Wil’s sent a letter.” The avian said, holding up a piece of paper. 

    “Well, that’s good!” Phil had been under extreme stress these past couple of days since Wilbur hadn’t sent a letter in weeks and the past few he had sent were...concerning, to say the least. “What’s it say?” 

    Another letter should have been a relief, but from the look on Phil’s face, Grian concluded that this letter was everything except relief.

    “It’s just a date, time, and coordinates. November 16th, noon, with a set of coords in L’Manberg…” Phil’s voice trailed off as his dark emerald eyes scanned the page, over and over, as if he were looking for more writing than just a simple date. 

    “That’s tomorrow, innit?” Grian questioned, trying to distract the man from his distress. That’s how Grian ignored his. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. “I mean, you’ll be able to see your sons, check up on Wil?” 

    “Something doesn’t feel right about this, Grain.” Even after all this time together, Phil still called him Grain. Grian stifled a laugh, as it wasn’t the appropriate time to giggle. “His last few letters concerned me. He mentioned something in his last one about 11 and a half stacks of TNT.” Phil looked Grian dead in the eye and whispered, “Grain, I think Wilbur is going to blow L’Manberg!” 

    “But why?” Grian attempted to rationalize with the distraught Phil, who was now pacing across the room making stressed-out bird noises. “He won the election, shouldn’t he be content with that?” This type of stuff never happened on Hermitcraft. There were never serious talks of blowing up anyone’s builds, much less an entire country! The only time TNT is used is in pranks, and they always helped clean up after. 

    “You clearly don’t know Wilbur...He’s a force of chaos, I’ll tell you that. A creative little shit who always comes up with new ways to get what he wants. If he wants L’Manberg gone, then he’ll go to crazy lengths to achieve that goal.”

    Silence fell. 

    “We need to get to L’Manberg. Now. It’s about a day’s flight from here, and we need to leave now if we want to get there as fast as fucking possible.” Phil tucked the letter into the pocket of his dark green kimono and flexed his wings. Unlike Grian, who used the sleek and slim elytra to fly about, Philza had a pair of actual feathery wings. Upon arrival, Phil explained that he was a bird hybrid, also known as an avian. He had feathers on the sides of his face and neck with elfish ears. Back on Hermitcraft, every member of the server was human. 

Grian and Phil started out on their journey north, towards the world border of Dream SMP. The sun had risen, and the world border was in sight. Phil stated that Dream, the apparent Admin of the server, had agreed to let up the border for a few seconds to let Phil and Grian inside. Phil took a rest on a tree, breathing heavily after hours of non-stop flight.  

“You alright, Big P?” If Phil could nickname him Grain, Grian would nickname him as well. A smile twinged across Phil’s face. 

“Ahh...You sound so much like my youngest, Tommy. He says that to people too. You remind me of him so much. Right down to your red shirt and the aura of pure, unbridled chaos you emit.” 

Both men laughed. Grian really enjoyed Phil’s laugh, and despite how giggly and giddy the avian usually was, it had been a few days since he had last heard him laugh. Wilbur’s lack of letters had really spooked him. 

“Will you stay?” 

“Hmm?” 

“In L’Manberg. I mean, it’s closer to your sons.” 

Phil shrugged and drank a potion of strength, and stood. 

“I might, depending on what happens. If my theory is correct, and Wilbur is going to blow the place up, then I’ll probably stay. Just to help him out and help clean up y’know? Maybe I’ll be able to convince him to come home. Before you got here, I was...really lonely.” 

“Well, you won’t be lonely anymore! Since I can’t return home yet, I’ll be your friend so you don’t have to be lonely!” 

“Thanks, Grain.” 

“You’re welcome, Big P!” 

The two rose and started to fly towards the world border. Maybe Grian could make a new home on Dream SMP. The builder already started making plans for an epic build, having a vague idea in his head. However, he would have to inspect the landscapes available to see what his block palette would be and what style his build would be. Grian thought of his mansion back home and wanted to build something similar to remember it. 

“Oi! Grain! You there mate?” 

Grian shook his head as he was, again, dragged from his daydreams by Phil. They had arrived at the world border. “I’ve sent word to Dream, he should be letting us in soon.” 

“Alrighty! What kind of base do you want to build if you stay?”

    Phil just shrugged. “Eh. Don’t know just yet. Don’t want to start anything too ambitious, like a Hardcore project.” 

Grian kept forgetting that this man held the world record for the longest Hardcore run. Phil was only 5”4 and didn’t look that intimidating. He looked loving and fatherly, and Grian considered Phil to be like a father to him. But the man was a dedicated Hardcore player, and could easily take Grian down in a fight. It scared him, sometimes, about how little he actually knew about Phil. 

“Alright, mate, let’s go.” The blue striped border had been removed by the mysterious admin, and the two flew into Dream SMP. Grian felt a buzz from his communicator and pulled it from his pocket. 

<Grian joined the game>  

<Ph1LzA joined the game> 

Unlike in Hermitcraft, when a member joins the server (especially a new member), the entire chat would be flooded with ‘hello!’ messages. However, on the Dream SMP, there were one or two directed at Phil. How peculiar. Phil went silent as they flew over the woods and forest. In the distance, Grian could see what appeared to be a city. That must be L’Manberg. It wasn’t as big or as grand as some builds on Hermitcraft, heck his own base would have taken up over half of the area if he lived there. On a tall pole lay what Grian assumed was the flag of L’Manberg, inky black, with a fiery red arch and X. Interesting design. Phil didn’t go into the city, however, he flew towards the coordinates that Wilbur had written in his letter, his brow furrowed. Fireworks crackled and popped throughout L’Manberg. 

Grian landed with Phil, in front of a small tunnel that bore deep into a hill that was just outside the country. 

“It’s now or never. Grain, stay behind me.” Phil tucked the letter away and led Grian through the tunnel, and into a compact stone room. Carved into the wall were words. No, not just words. Lyrics. 

I heard there was a special place, 

where men could go and emancipate. 

From the brutality and tyranny of their rulers. 

Well, this place was real, you needn’t fret, 

With Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, fuck Eret. 

It’s a very big place, not blown up L’Manberg. 

MY L’MANBERG

MY L’MANBERG

MY L’MANBERG…

Those lyrics were carved all over the stone walls, and in the middle, was a stone button. In front of that button, was Philza’s eldest son, Wilbur. 

Grian had never actually seen Wilbur before, only in an old picture of when Phil, Wilbur, and Phil’s other two sons, Tommy and Technoblade, won MCC 4. In that picture, Wilbur wore a cute yellow sweater with a brown beanie, with a shimmering smile on his face. 

The man that stood before them now was not that person. It couldn’t be. Wilbur stood, hunched over a stone button, whispering to himself. He donned a brown trenchcoat and ditched the beanie. 

“What are you doing?” Phil asked.

Wilbur turned to face them. His eyes had no emotion in them, his smile no longer shimmered. Standing before them was an insane man. 

“I will admit,” Wilbur said. His voice sent a chill down Grian’s spine, “Do you know what this is? What this button is?” Phil’s speculations appeared to be true. Wilbur was trying to destroy L’Manberg. 

“Uh huh. I do.” How, how could Phil be so calm? 

“Have you heard the song? The song on the walls?” Wilbur’s fingers gently ran over the words ‘MY L’MANBERG’. His eye twitched, “I was just making a big point you know? About how there was a special place, it was a special place. But that's not there anymore.” Wil’s voice lowered to a hush. 

“It is there, Wil, it's out there.” 

“PHIL I’M ALWAYS SO CLOSE TO PRESSING THIS BUTTON! I’VE BEEN HERE LIKE SEVEN OR EIGHT TIMES--” Voices from above cut Wilbur off. Grian could hear footsteps above them. Wilbur turned his eyes to the stone ceiling and lowered his voice. “Oh they're going to come…I need to block this off.” Wilbur hastily piled blackstone bricks in the doorway, which not only sealed whoever “they” were out, but also sealed Grian, Phil, and Wilbur in.

“Oh Phil...I’ve been here so many times.” 

Numerous fireworks exploded outside. 

<Tubbo_ went off with a bang due to a firework fired from [Rocket Launcher] by Technoblade> 

“Oh they’re fighting, they’re fighting…” WIlbur whispered, sounding tired. 

“And you just want to...to blow it all up? You fought so hard for this land, Wilbur, and you just want to...destroy it all?” Phil tried to reason.

“I don’t even know if the button works anymore, Phil, I could press it, and it might--”

“Do you want to risk it? There is a lot of TNT potentially connected to that button.” 

Wilbur seemed to hear him. His breathing got heavier as he returned to that hunched over position over the stone button. What was this place? Nothing serious ever happened on Hermitcraft. There were no seriously high stakes, there were no serious threats, no serious danger. It was all in good fun. 

“There...there was a saying, Phil...by, uh, by a traitor. Once part of L’Manberg, don’t know if you ever heard of Eret, but he had a saying.” 

Wilbur looked up at Phil. Grian could see the familiar resemblance between the two, they shared emerald green eyes. 

“It was never meant to be.” Wilbur whispered that phrase, and pressed the stone button. 

[bungoustraypups]

it’s honestly so funny to me when like. terfs and/or radfems try to claim afab trans people are only trans because patriarchy or whatever makes them “hate being feminine/hate their womanhood” like. bro idk how to tell you, not only do i love being feminine as an effeminate gay man (yknow, the thing a lot of gay cis men are also punished under the patriarchy for because the patriarchy simply views all femininity as bad no matter who is doing it, yes, that includes those “xy males” you keep going on and on about who don’t perform masculinity the way the patriarchy demands it be performed), i also do not hate “my” womanhood because it never existed? i can’t hate being a woman if i never was one and am not one???

even when i thought i was cis that was literally only because i didn’t know there was any other way to identify like. when i thought i was straight, i wasn’t doing it because i really was, it was because firstly i hadn’t realized even yet i was a non-binary man and very much not a woman (in fact i at first thought i was a lesbian! turns out i wasn’t attracted to the women, it was actually specifically masculinity in those women, not even the women themselves), and secondly because i simply hadn’t heard the other terms yet! it wasn’t even that my family wasn’t accepting i just didn’t know any other words because uh yknow that’s. how life works. you don’t know things, and then you learn them, and now you know them! wow! K-12 educations system basics summed up in a single sentence!

i wasn’t brainwashed or convinced by some nonexistant transgender genderist cult or whatever buzzword terfs and/or radfems are using for today’s news cycle. i literally had not met a single trans person in my life when i started identifying as trans! not in real life and not online either! it was a cis person actually who told me, upon hearing what i was feeling and had been feeling for as long as i could remember, that “hey you might wanna look up transgender resources” and i did it on my own!

oh, and guess what? at no point did me being trans, on its own, cause me suffering. i was dysphoric at one point because i had pre menstrual dysphoric disorder, which can affect cis women as well as anyone who is not a cis woman who also menstruates and has that disorder, but once i got the right combination of meds and such, my dysphoria lessened and eventually disappeared, and i don’t have it anymore. (i was on birth control for several years of the hormonal type but i’m not anymore, but even now i still don’t have PMDD symptoms and haven’t in like seven or eight years at least, my periods are also not as bad, but i’m also on like different meds in general from then so maybe some of it is that too idk really but i just don’t have it anymore)

i don’t want to “mutilate” myself or anything, i literally don’t want any surgery at all lmao. aside from general fear of surgery, i like my boobs, they’re fine and not that big a deal and honestly fun to play with too, i don’t want to “chop them off” or w/e, i don’t want a penis, i like the vagina i have, it works just fine and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it lmao, and a penis doesn’t make me any more of a man than your vagina makes you a woman (that is to say, penises don’t make men men and vaginas don’t make women women, no matter what your middle school biology textbook told you). all i really want is testosterone to achieve like... the standard of passing i wanna have, so that if i meet someone new, they won’t automatically assume i’m a woman without asking me and misgender me, which does actually bother me, because it’s disrespectful, not because of anything else. i don’t care about like, forcing anyone to accept me, idgaf if you accept me! you can use my name and correct pronouns without giving a single damn shit about me! it’s about basic human decency and respect and treating each other like human beings because that’s what we are unless yall wanna start claiming trans people aren’t human beings now which. man if you do that i can’t help you anymore LMAO so

[fandom-necromancer]

404 attraction not found

Had an idea in the shower. Had to write it. Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

‘Oh man, I’m not into men usually, but I’d definitely be gay for that one’, Chris laughed, admiring the person on the screen of the superhero movie they were watching currently. It was Friday evening: movie night. ‘God, he’s so hot, imagine his ass out of uniform!’ Gavin lifted his brows, studying the character and still not really seeing what Chris meant. The man looked over to them and laughed. ‘Come on, can’t be the only one!’ ‘Sorry, I’ve got the hots for the villain once again. She’s just too powerful not to love.’ ‘And you?’, Chris asked and nudged Gavin with his elbow. ‘Hmm? Yeah, same. Dude’s hot’, he answered. ‘Now keep it in your pants, haven’t seen this one yet! Wanna know what happens next.’ ‘Alright’, Chris chuckled and leaned back. Gavin did see how Tina side-eyed him knowingly, but chose to ignore it, hoping she wouldn’t address the topic in a misguided attempt to help.

They continued watching the movie, eating snacks and talking about anything that came to their mind. Tina got increasingly clingy the more she had drunken and as it had long become dark outside, Gavin decided to leave, driving her home. He thanked Chris and waved him goodbye at the door of his car. Their drive was silent until they stopped at a red light. ‘I’m sorry Gavin’, Tina lulled touching his elbow gently. ‘Maybe if you told him-‘ ‘Tina, it doesn’t bother me, okay?’, Gavin told her, maybe a bit too harsh. ‘And I’m really not in the mood to explain it yet again and hear all the same phrases over and over again. I can’t even complain or get mad about them, they are well meant. Phck. I will just continue to say what I’m supposed to say and it’s done with. Path of least resistance, as always. The reward really doesn’t justify the effort, okay?’ ‘Alright!’, Tina nodded, giving him a shaky thumbs-up. ‘My lips are sealed.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘And what’s with Nines?’

Gavin frowned and looked over at her. ‘What’s with Nines?’ ‘You two. Anything going on?’ ‘How many times do I have to tell you? We are friends, Tina.’ ‘Are you sure?’ She smiled at him. ‘I’d say the tin-can has the hots for you.’ Gavin groaned. ‘Come on. Who the hell would want me? And hell, even if it were like that, I’ll deal with it if it happens someday, okay?’ ‘You don’t want to do anything about it? Are you interested?’ ‘Tina. I barely know the guy. I mean, sure, we spend a lot of time together. But that’s it. It’s difficult. I’m can’t know it like you seeing the girl of your dreams and drooling over how hot her thighs or something. I like him, I enjoy spending time with him. I could imagine living with him. That’s all.’ ‘Booooring.’ ‘Tina, I’m not existing to entertain you.’ ‘Still you do most of the days.’ ‘Then maybe you have a shitty sense of humour.’

Tina laughed and sat up. ‘Alright, you win, okay? Just know that if you want a relationship you deserve it.’ ‘Yeah, the hell I deserve it!’, Gavin sighed exasperated, gripping the steering wheel tighter. But who’s the poor phcker that deserves this, he added as an afterthought.

-

‘Hey, Gavin?’ The Detective looked up from his terminal to Nines who was standing next to him placing a coffee on his table. ‘Yeah?’ ‘Are you free on Monday?’ Gavin frowned. ‘Yeah, I should be, why?’ ‘I’d like to invite you out. I discovered a really nice restaurant that serves android food. Thought we could try it out?’ Gavin shrugged, already back to his report. ‘Yeah, sure. Would love to.’ He missed the way Nines beamed at that answer. It might have given him the push to realise Monday was the 14th February. Valentine’s day.

He only realised that the Sunday before as he contemplated what to wear. He immediately called Tina: ‘T, red alert! Tomorrow is Valentine’s day.’ ‘Yeah, I know. What’s up?’ ‘Well, Nines invited me to a restaurant tomorrow.’ ‘Oh, that’s nice! I’m happy for you!’ ‘Yeah, well I’m not!’, Gavin returned. ‘Is that a date?’ ‘Maybe? Could be. What did he tell you?’ ‘He just said it was a fancy restaurant that sells android food he wanted to try out.’ Tina sighed. ‘I don’t know then. Could very well be a date. With the day and all.’ ‘God, what if he’s interested?’, Gavin asked. ‘Tina, I will ruin it. The guy will hate me.’ ‘Why should he?’ ‘Because I will have to tell him I’m basically not interested!’ ‘But you are right?’, Tina dug deeper. ‘Yeah, but until I’ve explained him in what way I’m interested, he will already be disappointed!’ ‘Gavin’, his friend spoke up, reminding him to keep calm. ‘You are overthinking. Nines is pretty direct. Maybe this isn’t a date at all. And if it is, you have no way of predicting his reaction. All I know is that Nines is a very patient being. You should go.’ ‘Of course I will go, Tina. Phck, just know that after this is over, I will need a new partner.’

-

The restaurant really looked nice from where Gavin was sitting in his car. It had a modern feeling but lots of dark wood had been used inside that made it comfy and bordering to a touch dowdy. He could see the android sitting at a table at the far corner by the windows and he was sure he had already recognised his car. Gavin shouldn’t stay inside for long, but he couldn’t really bring himself to exit either. ‘It’s just you two meeting at a restaurant Gavin. You had been to the movies already. You had met to watch the boats pass on the river, for phcks sake! This is just another one of those things you do together. Don’t think too much!’ He pushed himself up and exited the car, locking it and pulling his clothes in order. Then he walked over, entered and quickly made his way over to Nines’ table.

‘Hello Gavin!’, the android greeted him. ‘Nice to see you.’ ‘Hi’, Gavin answered, sitting down. ‘Yeah, you too.’ ‘You look nice.’ Gavin swallowed and looked at the android. He didn’t wear a suit, but a nice white shirt with a blue tie. He was thankful he had picked something more presentable than his usual attire: A blue short-sleeved shirt and light blue jeans. ‘Err… you too.’ Damn, he was repeating himself.

‘I’m really interested in how this android food works’, Nines changed topics then, handing Gavin a menu. ‘I know it’s all a combination of Thirium and compounds we can break down in our filtering systems. But Connor loves it, he told me it actually has taste, even if it’s mostly messing with our analysing programs to achieve that.’ Gavin nodded. ‘Yeah, sounds cool. I mean, eating is nice, I guess.’ ‘I don’t know if I will like it, to be honest’, Nines shrugged. ‘I mean, we don’t need to eat and to a large part it’s just complications to clean afterwards. But You can share a meal with someone and I guess that’s the whole appeal for human android couples.’

Gavin didn’t want to look at Nines as he said that and instead let his eyes wander over the other people in the restaurant. A large – if not all of them – were indeed human android couples spending Valentine’s day together. Laughing at each other’s jokes, eating and toasting to the other. It made Gavin even more uncomfortable though. A fact that Nines picked up on immediately, of course. But before he could speak up, a waiter came up to them and saved Gavin from the conversation. Both of them ordered and waited until the waiter had disappeared. Gavin had hoped the android had forgotten, but instead Nines spoke up: ‘You are nervous.’ ‘Yeah, no shit, tin-can. Well, not nervous, but…‘ ‘But?’

Gavin sighed and looked at the android, who was returning his stare completely neutral. ‘Nines, what is this? You invited me out to a fancy restaurant on Valentine’s day. It could be you just wanted to try the food, but I’m afraid there’s more to it.’ Nines pulled a grimace, blushing. ‘There’s no fooling you, is there?’ He added a smile afterwards, but Gavin’s face fell. ‘I wanted to wait until after dinner, but of course, we can discuss it now too.’ Gavin rubbed his face in frustration. ‘Phck.’ ‘Gavin? Everything alright?’ The man looked up, then blew his cheeks. ‘Yeah.’ He dropped his hands. ‘Yes, please, what did you wanted to tell me?’ ‘I really enjoy your company’, Nines begun. ‘I actually don’t want to miss any day we were together. You are a fascinating human being and I admire your way of thinking. Your humour is… cute in its own way. I just wanted to tell you that…’ The android huffed. ‘Well, I guess I’ve beaten around the bush for long enough. I love you, Gavin.’

There it was. Gavin’s dream and at the same time worst nightmare. He wanted to be happy about it, but if he was being honest with himself, he couldn’t quite feel anything but despair. ‘Phck’, he sighed. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘Nines, I… Thank you’, Gavin began. ‘I really appreciate it, but… I don’t feel like you do.’ The android swallowed. ‘Oh. Oh, err… that’s okay, it’s totally fine, I’m sorry I said anything. I-‘ ‘Nines, stop. I’m bad at this. I do love you. Romantically. I just can’t love you the same way you love me.’ Nines cocked his head inquisitively. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Does the word asexual say you something?’, Gavin whispered, feeling self-conscious about telling Nines something so personal in a space so public. ‘I’m- It’s basically not feeling sexual attraction towards someone.’ He looked up at Nines, afraid to see his disappointment. But the android was just sitting there, listening. ‘I can’t… I know someone’s beautiful, okay? Like this restaurant is nice, you look amazing, something like that. But there’s no sexy-sensor, basically. I’m not going around the city, seeing people and think I’d tap that, you understand?’

Nines nodded thoughtfully. ‘I think so. So there’s no particular feature of a person’s body you find attractive?’ ‘No’, Gavin nodded. ‘I mean, with time something could develop, but at first glance? Nah.’ ‘I’m sorry if this is intruding now’, the android began. ‘But you do have one-night stands every now and then, have you not?’ Gavin sighed. There it was. ‘Yeah, I have. Because sex is great. It feels nice and some days you simply feel the urge. But none of the persons I hooked up with I found particularly hot. They were just… people.’ ‘So you do like sex.’ ‘Yes, for phck’s sake!’

His call had startled the waiter coming over with their food, but Gavin just leaned back embarrassed, as the plates were put down and they mumbled their thanks to the waiter. ‘You had this conversation before, right?’, Nines spoke up gently as soon as the man had left them. Gavin just sighed and nodded. ‘Yeah. I’m not out to many, mostly because explaining something like that to others can be complicated. And it isn’t really worth the effort.’ ‘Then I thank you for telling me. I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I’m just fascinated. I thought it was an universal experience.’ He took up his fork and looked at the blue food on his plate, testing consistency. ‘Does this… Does this change anything in regard to what I told you?’ Gavin looked up from his plate. ‘What? I mean I should rather ask if that changes something for you, to be honest.’ The android shook his head. ‘No. I still love you. I mean I… To be honest I would really like to… spend the night with you? But if you don’t want that that’s… okay.’

The human sighed. ‘Okay, just to make it clear: I consider sex to be a gesture towards my partner. Like watching a movie with them I don’t know but they enjoy. It feels good and knowing your partner feels it too is… it’s nice, okay. I’m not abstinent, I just don’t find anyone attractive. That’s it.’ Nines smiled then. ‘Well it doesn’t change anything for me then. I still love you and would like to… deepen our relationship if you feel the same.’ ‘I… I would very much like that too’, Gavin smiled, unable to keep eye-contact with the android. ‘If you accept me despite what I’m missing.’ ‘You’re not-‘ ‘I am’, Gavin interrupted. ‘But it’s not a disadvantage. But I am missing something others have and that’s okay and I want to know you accept that.’ Nines blinked surprised. ‘Yes. Yes, I accept that.’

Gavin’s shoulders untensed and he finally took his first bite from the plate. The food was indeed amazing. ‘Then I’m sorry I made your date so awkward’, he chuckled. ‘Please, could you repeat what you’ve said?’ ‘What part? ‘The “I love you” part.’ Nines straightened his back and nodded. ‘I enjoy your company. You are fascinating and funny and intelligent. I wanted to tell you for a long time now. I love you, Gavin.’ Gavin smiled and took Nines’ hand in his. ‘I love you too.’

[myfanwymusings]

TAYLOR SWIFT / EVERMORE

The following is a collection of lyric sentence starters from Taylor Swift’s ninth studio album evermore. Some lyrics have been slightly modified for ease of role-playing. Feel free to change any tense or pronouns. May contain mature content. This has been reposted from my old blog.

WILLOW

I’m rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife

If it was an open-shut case I never would have known from the look on your face

Lost in your current like a priceless wine

The more that you say, the less I know

Wherever you stray, I follow

I'm begging for you to take my hand

I'm begging for you

I can feel you sneaking in

There was one prize I'd cheat to win

They count me out time and time again

Anywhere else is hollow

That's my man

I come back stronger than a '90s trend

Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark

I'll meet you after dark

Show me the places where the others gave you scars

This is an open-shut case

I should’ve known from the look on your face

Hey, that's my man

Yeah, that's my man  

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

You booked the night train for a reason

Your heart was glass, I dropped it

You told your family for a reason

You dropped my hand while dancing, left me out there standing

Love slipped beyond your reaches and I couldn't give a reason

This dorm was once a madhouse

Well, it's made for me

Soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls that we once walked through

I never was ready so I watch you go

She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head

Sometimes you just don't know the answer til someone's on their knees and asks you

You won't remember all my champagne problems  

GOLD RUSH

I don't like a gold rush

I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch

Everybody wants you

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

I can't dare to dream about you anymore

My mind turns your life into folklore

I won't call you out on your contrarian shit

‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON

If I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone, I would have asked you

There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me

But if it's all the same to you it's the same to me

You could call me "babe" for the weekend

We could call it even

Remember how you watched me leave

You can run, but only so far

And the road not taken looks real good now

Hear me out, we could just ride around

The road not taken looks real good now and it always leads to you in my hometown

I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay

I wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking'

The heart I know I'm breaking' is my own

Even though I'm leaving' and I'll be yours for the weekend

​'Tis the damn season

TOLERATE IT

I notice everything you do or don't do

You're so much older and wiser

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it

I take your indiscretions all in good fun

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky - now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins?

Believe me, I could do it

NO BODY, NO CRIME

He did it

Her husband's actin' different, and it smells like infidelity

That ain't my Merlot on his mouth. That ain't my jewelry on our joint account

I think I'm gonna call him out

No, there ain't no doubt

I think he did it, but I just can't prove it

No body, no crime

I ain't letting' up until the day I die

Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen

I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene

She was with me, dude

They think she did it, but they just can't prove it

Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy

I wasn't letting' up until the day he died

HAPPINESS

I see this for what it is

All the years I've given is just shit we're dividing' up

I can't face reinvention

There will be happiness after you

There was happiness because of you

Haunted by the look in my eyes that would've loved you for a lifetime

Tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk?

I hope she'll be your beautiful fool, who takes my spot next to you

No, I didn't mean that

Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury

You haven't met the new me yet

There will be happiness after me

There was happiness because of me

I can't make it go away by making you a villain

I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties

No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him, too

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness

After giving you the best I had, tell me what to give after that?

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness. You haven't met the new me yet and I think she'll give you that

DOROTHEA

Do you ever stop and think about me?

A tiny screen's the only place I see you now

I got nothing but well-wishes for ya

This place is the same as it ever was but you don't like it that way

It's never too late to come back to my side

You're a queen selling' dreams, selling' makeup and magazines

From you I'd buy anything

But are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers?

I guess I'll never know

If you're ever tired of being known for who you know, you'll always know me.

CONEY ISLAND

If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to?

And if this is the long haul how'd we get here so soon?

Did I close my fist around something delicate?

Did I shatter you?

Sorry for not making you my centerfold

What's a lifetime of achievement if I pushed you to the edge but you were too polite to leave me?

Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

We were like the mall before the internet

Were you waiting at our old spot: in the tree line by the gold clock?

Did I leave you hanging every single day?

When I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face

IVY

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow, tarnished but so grand

I just sit here and wait, grieving for the living

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed

Your opal eyes are all I wish to see

I'd live and die for moments that we stole

What would he do if he found us out?

Dare to sit and watch what we'll become

It's a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it

It's the goddamn fight of my life and you started it  

COWBOY LIKE ME

Dancing' is a dangerous game

I'm never gonna love again  

I've got some tricks up my sleeve

Takes one to know one

Never wanted love, just a fancy car

You're a cowboy like me

I’m telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear

You're a bandit like me

Never thought I'd meet you here

We could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

The skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

The old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one

Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon

Forever is the sweetest con  

LONG STORY SHORT

I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me

I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides

Long story short, it was a bad time

If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

I clung to the nearest lips and long story short, it was the wrong guy

Now I'm all about you

Actually, I always felt I must look better in the rear view - missing me.

If someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready

No more keeping' score, now I just keep you warm

Past me, I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things

Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing

He feels like home

Long story short, I survived  

MARJORIE

Never be so kind you forget to be clever

Never be so clever you forget to be kind

If I didn't know better I'd think you were talking to me now

If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around

You're alive in my head

What died didn't stay dead

You're alive, so alive

Never be so polite you forget your power

Nevеr wield such power you forget to be polite

I should've asked you questions

Should've kept every grocery store receipt cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

I know better but you're still around

I still feel you all around  

CLOSURE

It's been a long time and seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain

Yes, I'm doing better

I don't need your closure

Yes, I got your letter

Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled

I'm fine with my spite and my tears, and my beers and my candles

I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life

Staying friends would iron it out so nice

EVERMORE

Gray November, I've been down since July

I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone trying to find the one where I went wrong

I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore

Guess I'm feeling unmoored

Can't remember what I used to fight for

Can't not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost

To be certain, we'll be tall again

Is there a line that I could just go cross?

And when I was shipwrecked I thought of you

It was real enough to get me through

I dreamed of you

I swear you were there

I had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn't be for evermore  

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME

Friends break up

I'm right where you left me

Help

I'm still at the restaurant

I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

What a sad sight...

I felt the moment stop

They expected me to find perspective

Everybody moved on, but I stayed there

You left me no choice

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everyone else

Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

Breakups happen every day

I was still the one you wanted

If our love died young, I can't bare witness

If you ever think you got it wrong, I'm right where you left me

IT'S TIME TO GO

He's insisting that friends look at each other like that

The words of a sister come back in whispers

She's a crook that was caught

She was not in fact what she seemed

You know when it's time to go

Twenty years at that job, then the boss of the son gets the spot....

Keeping it how it was will only break hearts worse

Sometimes giving up is the strong thing

Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing

Sometimes to run is the brave thing

I gave my all

He gave me nothing at all

He's got my past frozen behind glass but I've got me

You will know in your soul that it's time to go

[citruscisco2]

You. Are. A. Man!

Five Hargreevs x Trans!Male Reader

Plot: The reader is a transgender male who is struggling with body dysphoria and tries to deal with being reminded that he was once a female. Five is there to support him and remind him that the reader is indeed a man.

Author’s Note: To be honest, it felt weird writing this. I’m a female and I don’t feel like I should be writing this. I feel like someone with these actual experiences should write this. This is also why I’m turning to my friend Axel, who is transgender and having him help me write this. I would love to write more stuff like this in the future, so please send in more requests! Also, if you’re struggling with body dysphoria, please feel free to talk to me about what’s going on. I love you guys and I wanna help ya’ll! I love you guys and remember that you’re all special in your own way! Also go check out my Wattpad!

Warnings: BODY DYSPHORIA! Basically, if you’re sensitive to any content regarding transphobia I guess.

Requested: Yes by @rainbow-depresso-expresso​

Key: E/C = Eye color; B/T = Body type; S/C = Skin color

                                                         ⁂

     My chest ached at the feeling of my binder crushing the two lumps of fat that remained hanging on my body. Then again, it’s my fault for making it so tight, but I’ve been wearing it all day. I just wanted to look completely flat; is that too much to ask for? To be born with the correct body and to have people accept you for who you are? I just want to look how I was meant to be born; I wanted to be born a man. Is that too hard? Is it too hard to be accepted for who I want to be, who I was meant to be? I’m not harming anyone, yet only a handful of people in my life support me rather than everyone. These people are the only reason why I stay sane. They’re the only reason I haven’t given up my dream of having top surgery. Though, the topic of transitioning from female to male didn’t settle well with my parents.

   Here I am, standing in front of my body mirror with tears brimming my (E/C) eyes which were glaring at my (B/T) (S/C) body. I hate it. I hate my body. I hate every damn thing about it! I couldn’t even look at myself without feeling the dysphoria creeping up my back like it’s a damn spider. I can’t even look down without seeing the two lumps of fat on my chest and what lies between my legs, I can’t even tell my parents about what I’m feeling because I know what their views on transgender people, and they’re not positive.

     It hurts to know that you can’t become who you want to be; who you are meant to be. It fucking hurts to hear people call you something that you’re not and to be constantly reminded that you’re different, and when people think of different, they think, “Oh, that’s weird.” Weird eventually leads to people thinking the people or things that are weird as inferior to them. It’s beneath them. Do you know how much it hurts to hear your loved ones bash the people in your community just because they’re different and think that they’re weird? They say those things then turn right to you and tell you that they love you for who you are. No, they don’t, but then again, they don’t know I’m the very thing they despise.

     It’s scary to know they if they found out your secret, you’ll change right before their eyes into a hideous, mutated monster. They’ll kick you out, act like they don’t know you, humiliate you and force you to wear the clothes they want you to wear, and they’ll do whatever they can do to convince you it’s a phase and you aren’t who you think you are. I’m terrified of the day they remind me constantly of the things that make me what they want me to be.

     I’m so fucking insecure about how my shirt hugs my body, and how I can’t wear underwear without wanting to bawl my eyes out because they’re not boxers. Sure, I have other insecurities that everyone else has, such as how some people don’t like the size of their nose, the color of their eyes, or even the amount of fat they have on their bodies. I can’t change myself though without anyone really noticing what I’m trying to achieve. I had to convince my parents I was just going through a phase just so I could get my hair cut short enough to where it chopped off some of the dysphoria I carried around.

     You wanna know what hurts the most, though? Fearing that the love of your life is going to leave you for who you are. You fear that soon he’ll realize the mistake he’s made and walk right out the door. He’ll lose feelings and start to distance himself, whether he realizes it or not. He said he loved you, but he can’t just be with you. Maybe somewhere he still loves you, right? He loved you, did he though? If he really loved you, he would’ve stayed and worked shit out, but instead, he became disgusted with who he associated himself with.

     It first starts with him not wanting to kiss you in public. You think that he just hasn’t been comfortable with PDA lately and wants to limit it, so you brush it off. You don’t even point it out to him when you’re alone and continue to tolerate it. Soon enough it escalates into not wanting to hold your hand in public. It hurts, but you don’t bother him. It’s not until he stops doing these things even when you’re alone that it starts to bother you. It hurts, but you’re too scared to bring it up and accidentally start a fight. This isn’t the first time something like this happened to you, so you didn’t push him. You’ve learned from your mistakes, haven’t you? Your world comes crashing down and the nightmares you’ve been having for the past week finally come true. He doesn’t bother saying that he’s sorry, or that he wishes you two could just stay friends. No, he just walks right out the door without even looking back at you to see if you’re okay because he knows you’re not. He knows he broke your already cracked heart into dust, and he couldn’t give two shits.

     Why would he though? Why would he want a monster like you? An abomination, that’s what you are. He couldn’t stand the thought of associating himself with you. He couldn’t handle the stares the two of you received in public. At first, you both just assumed it was because you were both men, but now he realizes it’s more than that. It’s because you’re trying to change yourself into someone you’re not. He was ashamed to be seen with you; to love you. He had to leave, he needed to. It was for the sake of his reputation he had said. He couldn’t stand to be with you because of the fact of who you are; of what you are. It’s all because you’re transgender.

     As these thoughts ran through my head, my eyes grew increasingly more blurry due to salty tears blocking my vision. I felt both my bottom lip and knees tremble as my breathing grew more ragged, and it suddenly felt as if all air was cut off from my lung. My eyes screwed shut and my lips tightened shut, forcing myself to conceal my sobs. My legs gave out from underneath me, causing me to collapse to the carpeted ground of my bedroom floor and lower my head. I couldn’t look in that damned mirror anymore. A heart-wrenching wail forced itself from my body, and the sobs just came pouring out. My hands found themselves buried in my short (H/C) hair, tugging so hard at the strands that I thought I was going to rip them from my own scalp. Sob after sob, I continued to cry for what seemed like forever. Both my head and heart pounded in agony. My hands trembled and my chest heaved up and down at an increasingly fast pace as I tried to gasp for a single breath between my cries.

     Fear shot up my spine as my chest ached for a different reason. I couldn’t breathe. I tugged harder at my hair and clawed at the back of my neck, hoping more pain would force my body to fight for its life and help me regain my breath. It felt like a lump of some wort was lodged in my throat, causing my body to heave forward as if I were gagging. Not to mention my nose was clogged up with snot. My vision grew foggy and my face grew hot. Would this be how I die? A pathetic mess?

     I felt two arms quickly wrap around my waist and pull me into their chest. I could feel the rough texture of their jacket, but their shirt under the jacket felt smooth and soft. I could faintly hear their voice, shushing me and telling me something. They sounded calm, not panicked at all. Their touch was gentle as they brought my head to their chest, gently stroking my back with one hand and using the other to pull me close. It was still loose enough to where it didn’t feel as if I was suffocating.

     I saw the familiar umbrella tattoo on the person’s wrist and the logo I had seen so many times on the person’s jacket. Only one Umbrella Academy member still wore their jacket, mostly because they were stuck in a teenager’s body and those were the only clothes that fit him. Not to mention he was too stubborn to go out and by clothes for boys his age. Physically his age, that is. I never pushed Five too many times to buy the clothes I’d die to see him wear because I just wanted him comfortable and happy. Plus, who am I to hell him what he can and cannot wear?

     I was able to faintly smell the cologne he wore daily, calming me down just a tad. My throat finally ceased and allowed me to gasp for a small bit of air, but it didn’t stop me from hyperventilating. Five gently rocked me back and forth as best as he could, continuing to softly shush me and rub small circles on my back. I could finally make out what he was saying.

     “It’s gonna be okay,” he mumbled, humming a soft tune that always seemed to calm me down. “I’m gonna need you to do something for me, dear, can you do that?” I whimpered pathetically and managed to nod in affirmation. He nods and continues. “I want you to breathe with me, okay?” I nod once more, desperate to come down from my panic. He starts his breathing off at a moderately fast pace, almost matching with my own. I was able to match my breathing with his own as I gripped his dark blazer. His breathing gradually slowed down, and as did mine. This wasn’t the first time Five’s had to help me, so I knew what to expect.  Once my breathing was stable enough, he spoke again. “Do you need anything?” he softly asked, reaching over and grabbing a soft blanket that laid upon my bed.

     “You,” I managed to choke out. My eyes burned from the salty tears, and my head ached from crying. He nods and drapes the blanket around my body and tilts my head up so he can see my face. His eyes are glazed over with empathy and care. He gently strokes my cheek with his thumb and gently presses his lips against my forehead.

     “I’m not going anywhere my dear,” he assures me, tightening his embrace just a tad bit. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” I shake my head no at his question. “Do you want to talk about something good that happened today?” I’m silent at his question. Taking a deep breath, fluttering my eyes shut and trying to focus on speaking properly.

     “I-I was able to put to...together an outfit that-that made me feel really masculine today,” I start off, pausing as I felt my voice grow shaky as I spoke. I breathed slowly through my nose and continued. “It-It was a pair of khakis that stopped at my knees, and-and the polo Klaus had given me for my birthday.”

     “The light green one with the lemons on it?” I nod in affirmation. My heart swoons at the fact he remembers something as little as that.

     “Yeah, I-I was also able to finish the load of homework that the school gave us,” I added. He smiles softly and kisses the top of my head.

     “See, I told you you could get it done! I’m so proud of you,” he praises softly, keeping his voice low. He continues to ask me questions about my day, focusing on the positive aspects of it.

     With a clear and calm mindset, I know none of that would happen with Five. Sure, it’s happened in the past, but Five’s different - very different considering he can teleport and he’s mentally an old man. I know I can always rely on him when it comes to shit like this. He knows I can be a bit much during times like these, and he knows that I’ll end up looking pretty fucking gross. He doesn’t care though. He’s seen a lot of shit in his life, so a red face covered in tears and snot isn’t gonna bother him. He loves me, and he’s told me this an abundance amount of times.

     After helping me clean up, we both lay down on my bed with my back against his chest. He wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His chin rest on the top of my head, humming the same soft melody he sang earlier. I felt my eyes droop as a wave of exhaustion came crashing over me. My eyes would fall shut and snap back open as I would realize I was slowly falling asleep, but falling asleep meant I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice anymore.

     “Get some sleep, my dear, I’ll be here when you wake,” he mumbled softly. That was the last thing I heard before falling asleep peacefully in his arms with a small smile on my face and a heart full of love.

[margotverger]

top 5 best hannibal takes and worst hannibal takes. go

okay i’m going to do this generally on what other people’s takes (that i’ve seen or read somewhere) are because none of my hannibal takes are bad. 

top 5 best:

that margot should have been butch in the tv show and that the margot/alana romance could have been developed a little more, i’ll elaborate more on the butch angle in top 5 worst, but i think while i enjoy marlana in s3 (who doesn’t) i do think that there could have been a Little More to it, especially since there was admittedly a lot of gratuitous metaphorical work on a visual or verbal level in early s3 that didn’t... really do much after the first few, and that i think bryan fuller definitely got a bit self-indulgent. while i love s3 i think it was weaker because it got quite ensnared in feeling like it had to explain everyone’s individual recovery (not a bad thing necessarily and the looping narrative definitely had this feeling of “time has been changed, mutilated, adjusted after mizumono”, but on a narrative level it could have probably still been achieved but left more room for things to. Happen) and i think that some of the excess could have been trimmed to allow for more margot-alana development beyond simply talking about taking revenge, i would have loved to see some genuine conversation that only affected both of them that made us realise just why alana would raise the child with her, why they would get marriedーalana having very little dating life and presumably trauma around relationships since her immediate ex tried to murder her and is also a serial killer, and margot having been traumatised repeatedly due to being a lesbian in a very homophobic family, they deserved some space in order to explore why exactly they mean a lot to each other. even a singular scene that didn’t depend on taking vengeance on the men who hurt them would have given us enough i think. 

lara jean chorostecki’s hot take (implied) that freddie would have a wife. groundbreaking. love that. regardless of bryan fuller i am assuming with full confidence that freddie lounds has a wife after the timeskip

autistic will graham. enough said. hugh dancy’s only stupid thing was saying will isn’t autistic. that was a sin. will graham is autistic

lesbian abigail hobbs. lesbian abigail hobbs!

the hot take that hannibal doesn’t do its women characters justice, this isn’t just about deaths (i do agree that for the gothic horror narrative characters are doomed to some extent, and i don’t overly grieve over deaths that came too early, so i’m not too fussed) but on a writing level, bryan fuller definitely tries to portray himself as a very woman-positive author who introduces feminine energy - and he does! but at the same time there is a lack in developing relationships between women, and for a story to truly give space to be a genuinely woman-positive story there needs to be strong relationships between women that don’t depend on men; obviously since hannibal’s presence is insidious and infects everything, as is his luciferian ways, and will’s often the binding agent, this can’t be entirely avoided but regardless of hannibal they can exist, on some small level, individually. we saw that a lot in s1! between abigail and freddie and alana and abigail mostly, plus there was a small glimpse at it in season 3 with bedelia and chiyoh (underrated imo i would love to see further into why bedelia has her views of chiyoh and what that means ... i hope they interact again if hannibal s4 comes to pass!). so it proves there is room for it. it doesn’t need to be every episode or even have a huge arc but seeing hannibal pass the bechdel test more than like. twice a season would be nice!

top 5 worst takes:

that bedannibal is more romantic than hannigram (lol)... i love bedelia and bedannibal a lot but that’s just. hm. incorrect

that hannibal has never loved anybody except will. i’ve wrote about this before but i think that’s a deliberate misunderstanding of the character hannibal. what is unique about hannibal and will’s relationship is not the presence of love but the presence of being changed by that love; transformation is at its core, the openness to being adjusted or altered... recognition, seeing, understanding, and that allowing compassion not only for the other (in hannibal’s case) but for the self (in will’s case). hannibal loves a lot, but his love is not separate from crueltyーi think this is where people misunderstand. just because he is willing to hurt or harm people isn’t, in the narrative (not in real life), because he doesn’t love them. his cruelty is because he loves people enough he wants to bring them to the height of their being, in extremis. he loved alana, which is why he showed her a chance at mercy. he loved bedelia. he loved jack. he loved abigail! he loved bella especially, and he genuinely mourned. these went beyond fascinations; these were genuine expressions of affection, love, whether they be platonic or romantic or familial. hannibal’s flaw is not that he is incapable of love. and personally i think to disrespect his relationships with other characters (who are all women, black or both lol) in order to further isolate the white m/m relationship is... not ideal. not a sign that someone is wholly prejudiced but i think it’s something we should be critical about, especially when hannibal through word of god is confirmed to love other people. 

bryan fuller’s own take that margot being femme is somehow less prejudiced or problematic than if she was butch. i haven’t read the book yet but i already know that margot’s portrayal as a butch lesbian was problematic but thomas harris is . undoubtedly prejudiced in many ways and that’s a fault of him, not a fault of the existence of being butchーbeing butch isn’t just a “stereotype” it’s a genuine mode of existence, it’s an intricate relationship with gender, sexuality and love, and butchness deserves to be represented as something beautiful, desirable and complex... instead of just deciding she should be conventionally feminine because that’s somehow more progressive. but then again he also made her have sex with a man so you know. lol

ANY take that involves over-analysing who is a top or who is a bottom and then rendering the characters into homophobic/fetishistic stereotypes. it’s ugly! it’s weird! keep that shit away from me. also any take involving “dark!will”. again that just does the character of will disrespect lol. the whole point of will is that he is morally complex and perhaps beyond the human scopeーhe is not just an echo of hannibal... i’ve seen one too many fics where will just becomes a savage brutal unfeeling murderer who only cares about hannibal after s3. like please watch the show

that hannibal is a narcissist/sociopath... or any other ableist interpretations. not every villain is a narcissistic (a genuine disorder) sociopath (just another word associated with npd etc) just because they do bad things. they’re very real disorders that people deal with and are infinitely more complex than just a character having a god complex and killing people. the whole point about hannibal is that he exceeds what is considered neurodivergent and while i don’t mind if people with similar disorders relate to him (much like how i relate to will’s autistic traits) i think a lot of bad comes from people throwing the label sociopath around because it becomes dehumanising and leads to further stigma against truly vulnerable people. 

basically any trope that just does a character a disservice or neglects the actual story in further of fetishistic thinking, prejudiced thinking, ableist thinking... will graham can be autistic because of his empathy (i’ve seen it implied that he can’t be because of it when, as a very empathetic autistic person, hyper-empathy is a very common if not universal symptom, it just appears differently) and hannibal is not a sociopath just because he kills and eats people. and we should all have a little sip of critical thinking juice

[themuzzleofnemesis]

4–Memory of the Battlefield; Scene 4

The Muzzle of Nemesis, pages 158-168

I was blindfolded, so I didn’t know where I was currently walking to.

“—Here, get in.”

I heard the voice of the man who had captured me, and a door being opened.

I was brought in and made to sit somewhere.

And then the blindfold was finally taken off.

“…”

It was an inhospitable, narrow room.

In front of me was a square black desk, and a simple wooden chair.

I remembered seeing this scene before.

Yes—it was just like the interrogation room in the prison.

The man sat in the opposite chair and glowered at my face.

“…I can still scarcely believe it. That a girl like you killed my big brother.”

The man’s name—was Gammon Octo.

He was the one Shakuson…Or rather, Nyoze Octo, had sent a letter to.

His younger brother.

.

--I had left the apartment complex where I’d been living the day after I had killed Shakuson.

That was to flee from two different figures. One was the police, and the other…was Postman.

I needed to disappear before he came back to retrieve the gun.

I still hadn’t reached a conclusion on whether I would live or die, but at the very least I no longer wished to be involved with the organization.

There was no issue with my having betrayed them. Someone may come to kill me—but I wouldn’t die anyhow.

The war was still ongoing, so it was a bit tricky to leave the country. Only, wanting to get at least a little ways away from Elphegort where I was born and raised, I decided to head south in the opposite direction.

Eventually I arrived at a town named Retasan. According to what I heard from an innkeeper, the town took its name from a country that had existed in the ancient era.

It was a dismal town. Apparently they were constantly being subjected to the threat of these monsters called “dead soldiers”, and so there were burned corpses piled high on every street corner.

A town of corpses—I thought at the very least that it would be suitable as the location of my demise. Even so, I passed three days at an inn there, still unable to make up my mind.

And then, the morning of the fourth day. Several men suddenly came to my room and surrounded me.

I was struck by one of the men before I even had a chance to struggle. …Immediately afterward he put some drugged cloth over my mouth and nose, and I lost consciousness.

.

--The very man who had struck me was Gammon sitting before me now. I had heard that fact while in the car transporting me here.

“You look like him, after all. Your brother.”

I first gave my honest impression.

“That’s because we’re siblings. Still…It’s not to the degree we used to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“My brother had some plastic surgery done on his face after he escaped prison. Before that we looked so alike that people would think we were twins.”

“I see…So then—What do you intend to do with me?”

If he planned to kill me, he would have done so at the inn.

Maybe he’d tried to do so while I was unconscious. –But I didn’t appear to have any wounds that would suggest such on my body.

“…Frankly I can’t decide. Though it is true that I wanted to try talking to you first.”

“If that’s all, I wish you’d politely given me an invitation instead.”

“You, an assassin? Give me a break.”

Silence descended on us for a moment.

Gammon was first to open his mouth.

“—What business did you have in the town of Retasan? Was there a new target there?”

“…I didn’t really have a reason. I’ve quit being an assassin.”

“And you…expect me to believe you? So soon after killing my brother—”

“I don’t care whether you believe me or not.”

“…Well, whatever. Then let me ask a different question. What do you think—of the organization you were a part of?”

“In two words: ‘They’re shit’. The only thing I can tell you is that they were the lowest of the low.”

“Then why did you work for them?”

“They would have killed me otherwise.”

Gammon looked surprised at that. “You? That’s hard to imagine. The head of the organization is your father, isn’t he?”

“…I had no idea that Gallerian Marlon was my father. …Is that really true, in the first place? You’re sure you’re not mistaken--?”

“Just to check, what is your mother’s name?”

“…Kayo. Kayo Sudou.”

“Then there’s no mistake. Kayo and Gallerian once had an illicit affair. After she learned she was pregnant with you she left him—This is what’s written in the secret documents we stole from the Dark Star Bureau.”

“And you’re sure those documents are legitimate?”

“Bruno Zero was the one who wrote them. I can’t imagine he’d go to the trouble of writing false documents to keep in his own desk.”

“Bruno…”

Then that meant he’d known all of it.

That was why he had saved me from prison—Looking at it that way, it lent credence to the claim.

But if that was the case, why had he hired me on as an assassin?

…Had he been ordered to by Gallerian?

Given Bruno’s loyalty to “Master”, I couldn’t think of anything else.

“…You look confused, Nemesis. It’s true then…You—didn’t know.” Gammon blew out a soft sigh. “If you really do hate the organization, then—I have a proposition for you.”

“No way.”

“Hold on…At least hear me out first.”

“I’m not becoming one of your allies.”

“We’re just talking....Though, well, I suppose you’re not wrong.”

Upon seeing Gammon’s flummoxed expression, I was reminded just a little bit of Shakuson.

Anytime I said anything selfish like that, he would…make that face.

“It’s the Tasan Party, right? The people you work for—"

“Yes, a political party of Elphegort. Currently…our objectives are to stop the war that’s occurring all over the world, and to take down the man responsible for it, Dark Star Bureau director Gallerian Marlon.”

“If they’re a political party, that makes you a politician.”

“Well, I suppose it does.”

“I didn’t go to school. I can’t follow along with difficult conversations about things like politics. I can’t imagine I would do well as a politician myself.”

“You don’t need to think of it as being that hard. Look at the people around you—I’ve heard you were once in a delinquent group in Aceid.”

“So you’ve looked up that much. Then—you know that I sank the S.S. Titanis, don’t you? I’m an ex-convict.”

“Strictly speaking you were never actually charged with that crime. Your death was faked before judgment was passed on you.”

“It’s not just that. I killed many people as an assassin after that.”

Yes…Shakuson too, with my own hands.

“You haven’t been arrested for any of that either. You aren’t even on the list of suspects the police have put up.”

“—Wait a second. If that’s true how did you guys know I was an assassin?”

“…Nyoze. My brother realized that you were the culprit behind this string of cases. And yet he never made a move to arrest you.”

“That was…because he was going to use me—”

“Do you really think that’s all it was?”

“…”

I didn’t know.

Back then—when I had pointed the gun at him, Shakuson had never showed any sign of resistance.

As though he had accepted being killed by me--

"—Let’s get back on topic. Did you never sense anything was wrong when you were in Aceid?”

“…I’d always thought that it wasn’t fair. That Elphe people were pushed into the slums, hardly able to get any work—”

“Right now we are working to change this unequal world of ours every day. I think—doing the right thing has nothing to do with whether or not you’ve had an education.”

“…”

“And sometimes there are situations when you need violence to carry out justice. If you say politics are difficult for you, then we can help you study in that field. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of. I myself got into the Tasan Party by banking on my career as a soldier.”

…Hm, so that’s how it was.

In the end, this man—simply intended to make me kill people again.

“The answer is still no. Didn’t I tell you I quit being an assassin?”

“There’s a difference between killing to fulfill someone’s wishes and killing to protect someone. –Why did you sink the S.S. Titanis?”

“That was…to protect my friends—”

“Then, even if the whole world would blame you for that—I applaud such an action.”

“Are you…really a politician? What about the fact that this all happened in the first place because Zeus was trying to steal gold?”

“Midas Touch was no saint. Neither was Bindi Freezis, the man who manipulated all of you.”

Bindi Freezis…The man who had gone by the name of “Kandi” to us—I had only learned his true name after being put in my prison cell.

“Are you saying it was alright to kill him because he was evil?”

“I think so. …Perhaps I’m mistaken on my morality of the world society we live in. But the world’s never really going to get better just by yelling about love and peace.”

“…Well, I suppose that’s true.”

“What I think we ought to prioritize more than anything else—is justice! As long as we have that, our world can become a utopia…And I’m prepared for there to be sacrifices to achieve that.”

As I watched Gammon give his passionate speech, I felt a little bit like smiling.

It wasn’t that I was mocking him. It was pleasant to see a man who held no doubts about his own beliefs—I was envious.

“—I take back what I said earlier.”

“…? What about?”

“You and him are nothing alike. Shakuson would have never said something like that.”

“My brother was…not a worldly man. That was probably why he chose to be killed by you.”

“…”

“He must have thought that if you didn’t, you’d be erased by that organization.”

“…You mean…”

To save me—Shakuson had chosen to die.

“It’s true that when I learned you were Gallerian’s daughter, I suggested to Nyoze that he ought to use that to his advantage.”

“Yes…That’s what you wrote in your letter.”

“So you saw that…Then do you know of the reply that Nyoze wrote back to me?”

“I…don’t.”

“My brother rejected my suggestion. –And then he said this: ‘Even if Nemesis does kill me, please don’t hold any ill will towards her. No matter what you have to do, I want you to help her’.”

I quickly forced myself not to start crying.

Shakuson truly had—loved me, after all.

Even just knowing that was enough.

“Nemesis. If you do reject my offer—what will you do now?”

“…”

“I won’t let you die. That was Nyoze’s last wish.”

“But—”

“Don’t run away. Fight! Certainly, you made mistakes in your past. But—dying isn’t the way to atone for that.”

“Then…what are you saying I should do!?”

“Get angry! Your friends in Zeus, Nyoze…Do it for all the people you’ve lost! Why did they have to die? All of it—it’s because of that brute Gallerian, who turned even his own daughter into an assassin!”

Angry…huh.

I had never even met Gallerian. Even being told to get “angry” at him—

Frankly, nothing came up.

But…Gammon and Mr. Ziz both.

They told me to live.

To not run away.

“…Alright, Gammon. I’ll join you, for now.”

“I see. Whether I welcome that or not—it all depends on what you do next.”

Perhaps I should be grateful to him for saying even just that much to the girl who had killed his brother.

“There’s a lot you’ll need to explain to me. First regarding Gallerian. I only know what I’ve seen in the news on what kind of person he is.”

“Very well. I’ll become your tutor.”

“Though I hate studying.”

“That’s fine. I’ll make it simple, so even a child could understand—but before that, you must be hungry.”

“Yeah. A little.”

“First let’s get a bite to eat. The food they have at the Tasan Party headquarters mess hall is top notch!”

Gammon stood and opened the door.

<<prev------directory------next>>

[silenthillmutual]

what Classic Film(TM) you should watch based on who your fave Danganronpa 1/2 character is

disclaimer - obviously as a film dude i’m gonna say you should watch all of these. but maybe watch the one correlating to your fave first!

Makoto: 12 Angry Men (1957, dir. Sidney Lumet) - strong themes of justice, it’s about a jury trying to determine a man’s guilt. it’s basically what Makoto does for the entire game. you’ll also like it if you’re a fan of Phoenix Wright.

Sayaka: A Star is Born (1954, dir. George Cukor) - it’s all about a girl’s rise to fame and how her relationships change with that. there’s three versions of this film, most recently with Lady Gaga. 

Mukuro: Vertigo (1958, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - themes of murder and hiding your identity, losing yourself to a cause.

Leon: Animal House (1978, dir. John Landis) - a comedy about a fraternity. it’s THE college frat movie and i think Leon would enjoy it a lot.

Chihiro: WarGames (1983, dir. John Badham) - two teenagers might have accidentally started a world war during the cold war by trying to play computer games...fitting for the series, no?

Mondo: On the Waterfront (1954, dir. Elia Kazan) - struggling to do the right thing and being sort of frustrated about your circumstances as they pertain to class and missed opportunities. being dragged into bad situations by family. also Marlon Brando is a bicon and very hot in this movie.

Taka: Rebel Without a Cause (1955, dir. Nicholas Ray) - a lot of turbulent shit happens to three teenagers over the course of 24 hours. one of - if not the first canonically gay teenager on film. i think we all know by now that James Dean was mlm, but so were the director and Sal Mineo. big bi polyam vibes; if you like chishimondo as a ship you’ll probably like this film too.

Hifumi: Akira (1988, dir. Katsuhiro Otomo) - had a hard time figuring out what to put for Hifumi, but overall i think if nothing else he’d appreciate how impressive the animation was (and honestly, still is) along with the fact that the mangaka was also the director. so although there’s a lot cut out (the manga had not finished before the film came out), it’s still roughly the same plot as the manga.

Celes: Dracula (1931, dir. Tod Browning) - probably the most iconic iteration of Bram Stoker’s novel, this is the one staring Bela Lugosi. not terribly true to the novel from what i remember, but it’s peak aesthetic and exactly the kind of thing she’d enjoy.

Sakura: Rashomon (1950, dir. Akira Kurosawa) - finally getting onto films i haven’t actually seen but that are on my list. sakura’s another person i had a hard time deciding on a film for, but the “several characters telling different accounts of the same plot” reminded me a bit of her case in the game. 

Hina: West Side Story (1961, dir. Robert Wise & Jerome Robbins) - admittedly i had a different film in mind for her to start with, but Maria’s final monologue fits with Hina’s motivations during Sakura’s case.

Toko: Gone With the Wind (1939, dir. Victor Fleming) - another one i haven’t actually watched yet, but it’s based on a famous novel, described as “epic historical romance.” i think that vibes with Toko pretty well.

Byakuya: Citizen Kane (1941, dir. Orson Welles) - if you’re really interested in film, you’re gonna be made to watch this sooner or later. famous for being the “best film ever made”, it’s more or less about newspaper moguls like William Randolph Hearst - who is also the main reason why this film is famous at all. it’s not exactly a flattering depiction of those kinds of people and boy, did that ever piss Hearst off. if he hadn’t made such a big deal trying to keep Citizen Kane from seeing the light of day, something much better might have made it to the top spot. 

Hiro: The Music Man (1962, dir. Morton DaCosta) - based on the Broadway musical of the same name, a “travelling salesman” (read: con artist) starts to work his latest con on a gullible small town, but actually starts liking the people in it.

Kyoko: The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - not to be confused with the other Hitchcock film from the 30s also titled The Man Who Knew Too Much. this is the one with James Stewart and Doris Day. it’s a highly suspenseful film that gave us the song “Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)”.

Junko: Gaslight (1944, dir. George Cukor) - ever heard the term “gaslighting”? this is where it comes from! based on a play in which a woman’s husband psychologically tortures her into believing she is going insane.

Monokuma: Duck Soup (1933, dir. Leo McCarey) - all Marx Brothers films are as utterly silly (and sometimes as incomprehensible) as one of Monokuma’s MonoTheatres. i watched about half of Duck Soup and had to stop because it was finals week and i was supposed to be doing something other than losing my shit.

Hajime: It’s a Wonderful Life (1946, dir. Frank Capra) - you probably already know this film. if you’re Christian you know it as That Film Your Parents Watch Every Year On Dec 24th Around Midnight. if you have seasonal depression, don’t watch it then; warning for suicidal ideation. it’s supposed to be uplifting. your mileage may vary on that one. 

Impostor: To Kill a Mockingbird (1962, dir. Robert Mulligan) - i don’t have a good reason to pair these two up other than gut feeling. as far as film adaptations of books go, it’s pretty damn good, and Atticus Finch is the original DILF. themes of childhood innocence and racism. 

Teruteru: Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961, dir. Blake Edwards) - apparently much different from the novella on which it is based, but i think Teruteru would really dig the aesthetic and romantic vibes of the film. Holly Golightly is probably the original Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Mahiru: Rear Window (1954, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - like It’s a Wonderful Life, chances are good you know this film - or at least, you’ve seen its plot recycled a hell of a lot. a professional photographer recovering from a broken leg thinks he witnesses a murder take place and is determined to get to the truth.

Peko: Seven Samurai (1954, dir. Akira Kurosawa) - another one on my to-watch list, but it’s oft referenced and remade in film. a village hires seven ronin to protect them from bandits who will return to steal their crops. 

Hiyoko: East of Eden (1955, dir. Elia Kazan) - i’ll be honest here, i didn’t really know what to put for Hiyoko because i’m not sure i understand much about her, but i seem to remember her family playing a pretty big role in her being Like That and for “shitty family” the first two things to come to mind were this and Giant. and unless you like 3-hour long movies about the state of Texas, i’m not about to recommend you watch Giant.

Ibuki: A Night at the Opera (1935, dir. Sam Wood) - another Marx Bros film in which they help a girl both to be with her lover and to achieve her dreams of stardom as an opera singer. the kind of silly, manic thing i think Ibuki would like.

Mikan: The Shining (1980, dir. Stanley Kubrick) - i hate hate hate putting this on here, but since this is for film and not books i couldn’t exactly state to read the book. the book is about the cycle of abuse. the movie is more about... a trapped man going crazy in a spooky hotel. 

Nekomaru: It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963, dir. Stanley Kramer) - comedy about five groups of people racing to get to a large sum of money buried by a recently escaped convict they stopped to help out after his car crash. it’s a comedy, and just kinda seemed like Nekomaru’s thing.

Gundham: The Seventh Seal (1957, dir. Ingmar Bergman) - i watched this in like 10th grade and all i really remember is a man playing chess with Death and if that doesn’t say Gundham Tanaka to you, i don’t know what does.

Nagito: North by Northwest (1959, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - i don’t really have a reason for this one either but it’s a spy film and i think komaeda could get behind that kind of intrigue. 

Chiaki: Metropolis (1927, dir. Fritz Lang) - not to be confused with the anime, this is a 1927 German expressionist film that seems to be about socialism and unionization. it’s also famous for its (purposeful) use of the Male Gaze and being one of the first sci-fi films ever made. be warned: it is a silent film.

Sonia: Strangers on a Train (1951, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - another one of those films you’ll get told to watch if you’re interested in the queer history of film, i was gonna put something else but honestly the character of Barbara kinda reminded me of Sonia. a famous tennis player meets a man on a train who attempts to plan a double-murder with him.

Akane: My Fair Lady (1964, dir. George Cukor) - i was trying so hard not to double up on the post about musicals, but Akane really does have Eliza Doolittle vibes. they’re both feral and nothing would be able to really domesticate them. for whatever it’s worth, this film and the musical on which it is based is itself based on the play Pygmalion, in which your typical rich cishet white dude bets he can turn any street urchin into a real lady because he’s just that good. you might know the plot better as Pretty Woman.

Kazuichi: A Streetcar Named Desire (1951, dir. Elia Kazan) - i don’t really have a good excuse for this one, either; i haven’t even watched it yet (although i have read the play on which it is based). all i’m gonna say is i want Souda to have his gay awakening via Marlon Brando, as we all do.

Fuyuhiko: Casablanca (1942, dir. Michael Curtiz) - despite his love and adoration for Ingrid Bergman, Humphrey Bogart decides fighting Nazis is more important. i think Fuyuhiko would like the aesthetic, and the film. don’t let him know but i think he’d probably cry watching it.

Usami: To Sir, With Love (1967, dir. James Clavell) - issues of race and class intersecting in a film about a teacher working with inner city students. i was going to put Singin’ in the Rain here, because it’s what Usami would want people to watch...but i think this better fits the effect she wants to have as a being. 

[richieisabastardman]

Hold Me Now - Part 3 - Richie Tozier x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 >>> Part 4

Summary: You had forgotten about everything that happened in Derry until Mike called you up. Now, sitting in the restaurant surrounded by your friends, you remembered everything. More importantly, you remember Richie. (Fluff/Angst/Sexy Stuff)

Word count: 2887

Warnings: Swearing, Sexual Situations (not smut)

Notes: Thank you all for all of the kind words about the previous parts!! It honestly motivates me to write so much :) Again, I’d love to hear what you guys think of this! Hope you enjoy. Also, I apologize for any spelling/grammar errors/inconsistencies. I read over things a thousand times and I still miss little things :’( 

You felt a heavy weight around your waist and a light snoring from behind you. You panicked for a moment before remembering the events of the night before. Smiling to yourself you turned around to face the tall man who was still sleeping soundly in your bed. You raised a hand to his cheek, feeling his stubble beneath your fingers. He let out a sigh, still within the blissfulness of a dream, and you tucked some of his hair behind his ear. He blinked his eyes awake. Confusion, like yours, had laced his features before he realised where he was. At the realisation he smiled, pulling you closer into his chest and resting his face within your hair.

“Morning” he mumbled, still drowsy from sleep

“Sleep well?” You asked, your hand against his chest. You felt him nod above you, his grip tight around your shoulders now. He held you to him like he never wanted you to let you go. You hoped he wouldn’t. There was a strong protectiveness about him now that you had only seen briefly before. You remembered when you were younger and he almost pummelled a boy for making comments about your body. He could never fight; he didn’t have the coordination. However, every now and then a strong need to protect others burst through him. It was in those moments that you liked him best.

“Yeah I slept fine. Why are you laughing?” he asked suspiciously as you chucked at the memories of your childhood with the man. They rushed into your mind like a flood. However, unlike the memories that came back to you when you entered Derry, these were pleasant. These memories were of feather light touches and words as sweet as sugar. Memories of the man you left behind to pursue your dreams outside of Maine.

“Just thought about how much of a dweeb you looked with those glasses when you were a kid” you said, and he feigned injury at your words.

“Bullying Y/N? Really? That’s low. Especially considering the fact that you tried to fuck me last ni-“

You cut him off by reaching up to his face and placing your lips against his. He accepted the gesture immediately, kissing you back deeply. You tilted your head, allowing his tongue access into your mouth. His hand rested on your jaw as his thumb rubbed it lightly.

After a moment you pulled away, smiling up at him. He smiled back at you. “Beep Beep Richie, yeah?”

“Yeah” Richie said, continuing to beam at you. His eyes were glazed over and that dumb smile he had refused to leave his face. You both had almost forgotten why you were in this motel in the first place. Almost.

~

You had laid with Richie in bed for at least thirty more minutes, chatting about your lives in Derry and your lives now, all whilst Richie drew figures on your back with his fingers. His other hand was entangled with yours. Every now and again he would untangle himself to play with your fingers, his hands almost comically large when placed next to yours.

“I’ve seen all of your movies the day they came out” Richie admitted, placing a feathery kiss upon your forehead.

“You have not” you laughed into his chest.

“Scouts honor!” He replied “Every single one. Why wouldn’t I?”.

“And what is your professional opinion of my work?” you asked, looking up at him.

He looked at the ceiling for a moment, thinking carefully. When he finally looked down at you, a wide grin graced his face and he replied “Meh”.

You hit his chest lightly, laughing.

“I’m just kidding. They were all great. Even that one that the critics said was too self-gratuitous”.

You cringed at the memory and Richie rubbed your shoulder encouragingly.

“Still” He said “Y/N Y/L/N the director. I always knew you’d make it”.

You smiled up at him, and he at you, before you lifted your head to leave a light peck on his lips. Whilst your memories of Richie grew hazier the further you moved away from Derry; you still felt an internal force driving you to achieve your dreams for his sake. You had left him to deal with your absence alone in Derry until he finally moved away, chasing his own dreams and desires. You felt terrible about leaving him at the time - and, not surprisingly, you felt the same way now.

You remembered the insecurity and doubt you had felt when you first arrived in New York. So many times you had wanted to give up on your dreams to work in the film industry. So often you had thought that pursuing a nine-to-five job would be much easier than working your ass off for no reward and even less money.

However, these thoughts always ended with a pull at your heart and a voice within you that screamed

“Do it for him. Make him proud.”.

For a while you thought the Him might have been God. You quickly realised however that if such a being did exist, he would be too busy to be concerned with your career aspirations. People are starving on an abundant planet and are dying of curable diseases Y/N, you thought to yourself, God is probably more concerned with that. It was only when that taxi had passed the sign, Welcome to Derry!, that you had finally realised who the Him was. And when you remembered, you couldn’t believe that you had forgotten.

~

Seventeen years old was a strange age, you always thought. Away from the sweet sixteens and too far from the looming adulthood of eighteen, seventeen was an age of awkwardness. Your future, something you had been forced to consider (and worse, plan for) in the last few months since turning seventeen hovered over you like a cloud before a thunderstorm. It taunted you with the uncertainty of just how chaotic it could turn out to be. And yet, as you sat in the movie theatre with Richie sitting next to you watching some trashy nineties film, the clouds had seemed to clear. In fact, the sky was blue and there was a nice breeze blowing through your mind. You were the calmest you had felt in months.

Calm before the storm. A voice within your head whispered, but you paid it no mind, reaching into the bucket of popcorn which sat in Richie’s lap.

“I don’t know why you get to hold the popcorn” you whispered, irritated.

“You’ll understand once you get to the bottom of the bucket” Richie said and winked at you.

You furrowed your brow in confusion before the innuendo clicked and you gagged. Richie laughed loudly before being shushed by two men in the row in front of you. One of the men, the one who looked much more irritated at Richie’s outburst than the other, had his arm secured around the other man’s shoulders. The other man whispered to the irritated one. He spoke in hushed tones and smiles, and you watched as the irritated man’s tensed shoulders began to relax. Thank god, you thought, the last thing I need is Richie getting the shit kicked out of him. Finally, the calmer man left a kiss upon the other man’s cheek, causing the irritated man to unwrinkle his forehead and smile. It was the kind of smile that reached your whole face. The kind of smile that softens the eyes and weighs down the eyelids. There were only two reasons people smiled like that; they had smoked just the right amount of weed or they were looking at the love of their life.

You smiled at the actions of the men (though the smile was not as strong as the one currently plastered on the man’s face), before moving your gaze back to Richie. The boy was staring at the couple, eyes wide but not due to shock or fear. He continued to stare at them, the movie on the screen no longer of importance to him. His gaze only broke when he noticed your own upon him. He quickly looked back at the screen, stuffing his mouth full of popcorn.

“I can’t believe people actually spent money making this trash“ he tried to whisper; his mouth still full. Bits of chewed up popcorn jumped out from between his lips as though they were trying to escape their fate within his gut. “You could’ve have made something a thousand times better. I mean, I’ve read your scripts, and even your shit ones are better than this”.

You snorted. “Thanks Richie, I think” you said, and reached into the bucket for another handful of popcorn.

~

 “So, this Fiancé” Richie said cautiously, and you felt yourself being yanked from your thoughts viciously. Your body froze and you knew Richie had felt your sudden rigidness as he began biting his lip nervously. “Sorry” he said “I just-“

“No. Its okay.” You replied. “We should… talk about this, I guess”.

“What’s his name?” he asked.

“David Johnson” you answered.

“David Johnson” he repeated, though his tone was mocking the man despite not being in his presence. You rolled your eyes at his childishness. “So, what’s his deal?”.

“He’s an actor” you said, and Richie scoffed.

“Why haven’t I seen him in anything then?” Richie said, raising an eyebrow.

“He’s a failed actor. He self-sabotages, you know? Every time he gets a role he fucks it up by turning up to set late or drunk or both” you rambled and you could hear Richie sigh from above you.

“Is that why you don’t want to be engaged to him” he asked.

You thought for a moment, wondering whether it was worth mentioning all the things he had done. All it took was a kiss on your head from Richie to let the flood gate open. “Partly” you said, “Also because I caught him screwing his agent in her office”.

A silence fell between the two of you. Richie was shaking his head, running his hand through his hair in frustration. You could tell he wanted to blow. He wanted to rant about your piece of shit Fiancé and how he was going to regret ever fucking with you.

He chose instead to take in a deep breath and attempt to diffuse the situation within his own mind with what he knew how to do best; joke about it. “Actor, Alcoholic and Adulterer. Wow, he’s a triple threat”. You could hear the bitterness in his voice.

Richie had never approved of the men you took interest in, even if they appeared to be God’s gift. Once, as a teen, you told him you thought River Phoenix was cute and from that point he had refused to see any movie he was in. You still weren’t sure if he had ever seen Stand By Me. However, this was different. He had good reasons to hate the man. And so did you.

You sat up and Richie’s face was painted with disappointment until he looked into your eyes. They were serious, gazing into his. The last time you had looked at him like this, you were about to leave for New York. You had stared into his eyes, just like this, and said you would see him again soon. “It’ll only be a few years; it’ll be over before you know it” you had said.

Your voice, low but strong, shook Richie from his thoughts. “I’m going to break up with him. If we don’t die trying to kill that fucking clown, I’m going to do it” you said, and Richie hoped that this time you would keep your promise.

Suddenly, you heard a banging at your motel door. You jumped slightly and groaned when you realised it was just Bill. “Y/N get up! We’re going to go meet Mike!”.

“Fine! Give me a minute to get ready” you yelled back as a reply.

Richie stared at you, his eyes shifting from a softness to a tightness that could only indicate fear was rising within him. The loud knocking of Bill’s hand upon your door had blown away the veil of comfort you and Richie had wrapped around yourselves within your motel room. This wasn’t a school reunion. You were here to kill a clown or die trying.

“We need to get dressed” Richie said. Just as he began to sit up, he scrunched up his face in irritation.

“What?” you asked.

“My clothes… are next door” he replied. The bliss of being held in each other’s arms had rendered you both temporarily amnesic it seemed.

You shook your head, taking a moment to think. You had no issue with the rest of the gang knowing that you and Richie had spent a night together in your motel room. Nothing had technically happened anyway. However, the questions and prying would be way too much to handle this early in the morning. Plus, there were more important things to spend your energy on, like that fucking clown. “I’ll keep watch at the door, and you can sneak out?” you suggested and Richie nodded his head, following you off the bed.

“I feel like a fucking teenager again” Richie said and you shushed him.

You opened the door just enough that you could gaze out of it and into the hallway of the motel. Seeing no one, you opened the door a bit wider and stuck your head out to get a better look. Seeing that it was completely clear, you turned around in order to motion to Richie that he could leave. As you turned, you bumped directly into his chest. He was standing right behind you, his hand now on your waist. You whispered a quiet “Fuckin’ hell Rich” and he smiled down at you apologetically.

You pulled the door completely open, allowing Richie to walk past you through the door frame and out into the hall. He stood there for a moment and you looked at him, confused as to why he hadn’t run to his room yet. Finally, he turned around towards you. Just as you were about to question him, he pulled you by your waist towards him and brought you into a passionate kiss. You accepted the kiss, kissing him back just as deeply, however your mind was still panicking at the thought of being caught.

He pulled back for only a moment before placing his face into your neck, kissing along the length of it sloppily. You considered pushing him back, but when reached the junction between your neck and shoulder and left a soft bite there you decided instead to shut your eyes and place your hand against his chest. His hands moved from your waist to your ass, and he pulled the bottom half of your body towards his. So he won’t do this in private, but he’ll do it in the middle of a motel hallway you thought. Such thoughts were cut short by Richie grinding himself into you, clearly excited by the current situation. You let out a gasp which Richie intercepted with his mouth once again, connecting his lips with yours in a kiss.

Another gasp was heard within that hallway. At first, you thought it was Richie. However, when his movements stilled and he removed his lips from your own, you realised it was most definitely not. Looking to your left, Eddie stood just outside of his motel door. His mouth was open in shock; his eyes wide. His hand was still on the handle of his room door, frozen. Richie considered running back into your room, but it was too late, Eddie had seen him. He had seen more than just Richie, in fact. You were not sure if Eddie had seen all of it, but he had definitely seen enough. “I fucking knew it!” he said, laughing to himself.

Shaking his head in disbelief, he began to make his way down the hall and past the two of you, towards the stairs. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that for my own sake” he said, moving quickly “but I am definitely going to hold it against you. Forever!”.

Both you and Richie were frozen in place, watching the small man jet past you and down to the others who were waiting in the lobby. To the eye that was untrained in Richie Tozier’s library of facial expressions, the face he was currently displaying would have merely appeared neutral. His mouth was closed into a thin line and his eyes, while wide, were not crying out with any particular thoughts or feelings. However, you had known Richie long enough to know that he was not thrilled about what had just happened. The face he wore was not just one of embarrassment. You had seen Richie embarrassed and he was much more bashful than this. No, it was more shameful than that. More apologetic. It was sadder.

You reached out towards him, but he backed away. He shook his head and his expression changed almost too quickly, as though he had pressed the reset button on his brain. “I should go get dressed. They’re waiting for us”. And with that he disappeared into his room, leaving you alone in the hallway for the second time in two days.  

Tag list: @felicityofbakerstreet @itsfuckinemily @emiliesnowflake @adritozier @the-almond-dinger @brenna-xoxox @fionnthebandersnacc 

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know in a reply to this post! 

[giogio-gucci-gangstar]

Diego Week: College AU

This is the crack fic my heart has always wanted, and @jjba-arni-reblog helped me achieve this horrible horrible dream. 

CW: study abroad, frat boy influences, (references to) Barbie as Rapunzel, and necromancy 

“So I guess this hellhole is our dorm?” Diego scowled as he skeptically took in the shanty little dorm room he would be sharing for the next three months. And this small little Argentinian university room was supposed to house himself and his giant of a roommate. Who was grinning like a happy idiot. 

“Oh it doesn't look that bad! If we just bunk the beds-”

“Trying to crush me in my sleep so early in the semester is pretty pathetic.” Jonathan stopped talking and just gave him a small hurt expression. Damn it, that himbo of a man was soft and clearly did not understand his humor. This was going to be a long semester. 

Diego had chosen to study abroad in Buenos Aires because of the paleontology programs, and similarly his roommate Jonathan had chosen this location for its Incan ruins programs. So at least the university had put two studious boys together. Unlike their immediate neighbors. 

Their names were Dio and Johnny, the latter being American which should be a good indicator of how seriously he chose his education. And Dio didn’t seem too different. After meeting them in the hall, just once, Diego was pretty sure Dio had only come here for Carnival(?) and had themed this entire semester’s wardrobe around a festival.  He had absolutely no desire to be around people like that. 

~~~~~~~

“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” Jonathan cheerfully asked his roommate. Diego looked at him skeptically. Yes they had lived together for a week, but he wasn’t looking to form any attachments while he was here. 

“I think i'm going to the dig site.” Diego let out noncommittally. Jonathan’s face fell a little bit. He was like a large puppy dog that required compassion to survive. How pathetic. But Diego didn’t want an emotionally disturbed roommate so he continued. 

“Aren’t you from the same uni as that yellow bastard next door?” Diego offered. 

“Yeah! How did you know? Have you talked to Dio? He's a little-” 

“No I haven't and I have no desire to,” Diego breezed past the possibility of being introduced to the yellow monstrosity next door. “Johnny goes to my university, but he is a year younger.” 

“Oh isn't that funny!” Jonathan was laughing. Diego honestly did not understand why. 

“What is funny?” Diego was skeptical about where this conversation could possibly go without getting even more uncomfortable. 

“Just that we’re neighbors with people we go to school with.” 

“That’s not funny, it's just a fact.” Diego pointed out, trying to collect his things to go study somewhere else. 

“I suppose it's more ironic than funny,” Jonathan was either overly friendly or could not read people at all because he continued talking anyway. “But the boys next door are throwing a little party and we’re invited, and well, I'm going and kinda hope you will too?” 

Diego looked at him with his best blank face, “I’ll consider it.” Jonathan looked slightly offended and he didn't want to be totally cruel so he amended, “What time does it start?” 

“I'm going over at 10!” Jonathan cheerfully offered. 

“I'll be there at 11.” Diego said hurriedly as he left. 

Shit, he had just agreed to go to a party. He looked desperate. Diego rationalized that he would simply show up later than he said and that he really ought to go to the party because he might as well party if he wasn't going to be able to sleep anyway. 

~~~~~~~

It was 11:15 and Diego had chugged three beers and a red bull to prevent a hangover. Currently he was sitting on a beat up sofa Johnny and his flamboyant friend had found on the corner or some street. Next to Jonathan, whom he was rather upset at because he had said it would be a ‘party’ and it was just the four boys with a pack of beers. Which was pretty lame.

“Do you guys even know how to have fun? You two just mess around in the dirt and then spend the entire evening in the library or the dorm” Johnny eyed his lame neighbors as he went to get a beer out of the fridge. 

“Fucking losers” Dio simply noted, sprawled out over ¾’s of the couch lazily. He smirked a little as he heard Jonathan let out a shocked sigh and Diego felt himself getting angrier.

“Well then, Joestar. Why don’t you tell me about all the ‘hot girls’ you’ve ‘smashed’” Diego eyed the younger blonde making sure he noticed his sarcasm. 

“Because as far as I remember, you didn’t. More like you brought them home and they came with me.” he chuckled as Johnny got more and more annoyed with each new sentence “or should I say cumming with me?”

Dio’s laugh could be heard from the couch as Johnny tried not to punch the little bastard, instead hoping to bring out more cruel details about the older man. Jonathan meanwhile, was furiously blushing. This conversation was making him terribly uncomfortable. 

“Hey, dino-fucker, why don’t you go get oiled up and roll around in the sand some more with Jonathan” Johnny said, yet his voice sounded polite as he said the other man’s name, he didn't have anything against Jonathan. Yet.

“Insult what I do one more time kid and I will fucking rip your head off.” Diego stepped closer to Johnny, taking the opportunity to remind Joestar that he, Diego, was a year older than him. Diego would do anything if it meant pissing off Johnny. 

“Alright, let’s not fight there” Jonathan suddenly stepped in, trying his best to stop the angry boys. “Johnny, please do not shame Diego for...whatever he is interested in” he continued, trying not to feel embarrassed having said that.

“Oh and he is into some interesting things too!” Johnny started to flush in anger, surely he knew where this was going. “I know you have some weird ass fetishes yourself, I did hear some rumors about you” Diego said angrily, making Johnny’s blood boil.

“I DON’T have any weird preferences or fetishes!” Johnny groaned, now annoyed at the two of them.

“Not true, you get off from bug bites” Dio spoke out lazily, however Johnny could feel the bastard smirking as he so calmly revealed one of Johnny’s secrets. 

“Which side are you on, Dio?” Johnny now felt angry at his own roommate/friend.

“No one’s. I just like the drama” the older somehow unrelated Brando answered.

“Dio cried after ‘Barbie as Rapunzel’” Jonathan suddenly said, earning a sudden gasp from Dio as the two other men’s eyes widened.

“I did NOT” Dio tried to deny but it was too late. Johnny and Diego burst out laughing, almost falling on the floor at the new gained information.

“Oh my fucking god” Diego screamed through laughter.

       “Either way, it’s not near as sad and pathetic and lonely as liking digging shit up.” Johnny was trying desperately to turn the situation against Diego and Jonathan again. Dio was already a moody guy, he did not want to see him angry. 

       “Now that’s just not true!” Now Jonathan was getting worked up. He actually stood up from the couch, pushing Dio’s legs off of his lap, and pointed to the door. 

       “Let’s go to our room, I have some things that will change your mind about archeology. And I’m sure Diego has some things too!” This was all getting much too friendly for Diego. He really wasn't drunk enough for a ‘I promise the things I find in the dirt are cool’ argument. 

       “I guess…” Diego tried not to sound too terribly enthusiastic. Though he would be lying if he said it didn't genuinely piss him off when people mocked paleontology. Especially that rat bastard Johnny. 

Diego quickly ruffled through his small fossil collection from the dig site, while Jonathan pulled out some photos of a Mayan bloodletting relic. (Jonathan included a disclaimer that it was a photo from his professor’s dig in southern Mexico because it was Mayan, not Incan, but the other boys were too drunk to care about regional and cultural specialties). 

Jonathan was reading some of the Spanish transcripts from his professor’s photos when Diego finally found what he was looking for. A spinosaurus tooth, which was still so sharp it nicked his hand when he pulled it out from the back of the drawer. 

“Shit it cut me” Diego mumbled as he walked to the sink to rinse off the blood. Johnny and Dio were silent as Jonathan finished reading. They all turned to look at Diego blankly. 

“What is it? What did you just read?” Diego was becoming a little suspicious. 

“It was a necromancy ritual often used along with bloodletting…” Jonathan said softly. All of the blood rushed out of his face when he realised the tooth he had dropped wasn't just a tooth, but was not set in the small jaw of a breathing spinosaurus. 

         “What the fuck did we just do…” Jonathan’s eyes were blown wide with terror. 

“We? WE? You, YOU were the one who thought it would be fun to read that piece of shit-” Diego’s tirade was cut off as Dio howled in laughter as the creature lunged towards Jonathan’s leg marking the moment the night officially dissolved into chaos.

[edgythought]

Strangers in the Bar II

Part I  |  Part III

Alex Turner x OC (I guess??)

Description: Two lonely people observe each other in a bar. It leads to something nice. Word count: 2,982

Warning: swearing, alcohol consumption, smoking.

A/N: Nobody wants the second part but I am posting it anyway. Maybe, you'll enjoy. If you do, let me know! 

The time flew by like a super-modern spaceship through the deep void of silent space and my stay in LA was coming to an end about just as fast. I still didn't know if I liked the city or not. It was totally different from what I'd seen before, but the aftertaste wasn't that pleasurable as I thought it would be.  Maybe I was a prisoner of my own superstitions and prejudices, but I will never know. Moreover, Californian weather is just not my cup of tea, I would prefer something a lot more northern than constant heat and melting asphalt. But I must admit the city has its own unique vibe you cannot casually pass by, it wipes you away with its simultaneous boldness and sneakiness. 

It was a challenge for me not to think about the dancing dude I met the first night. Let's be clear, I hadn't fallen in love, but there was definitely a spark between us, even if it was a result of drinking too much. Some nights I even wanted to google him, but my drunk ass never asked for his name. His face looked familiar, like I've seen him before, but I couldn't remember for shit when and where. So, I gave googling up and continued with doing my stuff, which was a lot more important than some random guy I popped into at some bar. I thought it was a drunk adventure and this gave some assurance it will not happen again and I can move on. But I'd be lying if I said what happened didn't bother me in a way I didn't want it to. 

I was always very sensitive to vibes and energy people are emitting. That feature brought a lot of pain, but also a lot of understanding, so I tried to develop it as much as I could. And what I saw and sensed that night made me think about it way too much. I saw a lonely person trying to enjoy a simple moment of happiness, but I also saw a sharp mind and a visible ache in his eyes. I totally understand it may sound like an absolute bullshit, but I got the impression we were vibing at the same frequency in some way and it would be stupid of me not to admit I would do it again without thinking. And this fact was bothering me a lot. It was something I couldn't accept, like, how can it possibly be real — to meet a guy and have such a connection with him without even speaking to one another? Bear with me, I told my friends a lot, while sharing this story with them. But could I bear with myself? The answer is not really.

My time in LA is coming to an end, I thought, it would be nice to say goodbye where I started. To finish the adventure properly and leave for good.

It wasn't much later when I saw some familiar spots I observed while smoking near the bar on my first day in LA. Those palm trees were actually fascinating in a pastel background of the twilight sky, warm and so close you may have had a chance to touch it. There was no clouds whatsoever, so I took a pic of tree silhouettes to remember this beautiful view when I'm back home. What if Los Angeles becomes my home? I thought to myself strolling down the road, searching for a sign indicating a spirit-scented place. Soon enough I saw it on the other side of the street and rushed there. It wasn't as crowded as I remember it to be, but I guess that's going to change in an hour or so. I came too early, but I desired to get wasted and nothing was standing in my way so I just followed the waitress into the bar and crawled on the stool with all the grace I managed to find in my body. The bartender asked me what I'd like to have and I ordered "Orgasm" without thinking. Dude tried to make a joke out of it but unfortunately I wasn't impressed since I heard it way too much throughout my whole cocktail-drinking life. It was only funny the first couple of times. Anyway, I came to drink and I got what I wanted in 4 minutes. I spent the time glaring around, but there was nothing unusual for my eye to catch, just a bar, millions of them around the world. The music was on point, though. I thought it was a jukebox, the one you pay to put a song on, but I was wrong. Turned out, it was one of the bartenders who was in charge of music for the night and they took turns to be a DJ. At least, that's what I heard from the bartender, when I made a remark on the music. I was quite impressed, since it's mostly jukeboxes I saw in this kind of places. I found it pretty authentic and also very encouraging for the personnel to try their chances with music. What is more LA than that? 

My cocktail was tasty enough for me to distract myself with it for a while. My head was almost empty and I felt I achieved what I was striving for, so I needed to think what to do next. I was alone and a little bored. Maybe I can try to talk to someone? Just for the sake of having a conversation… - I thought - People are probably thinking I am a weirdo, I came alone and I drink alone. Well, this is who I am now and bitches shall accept that. Anyway, the drink was so delicious I finished it without realizing it. I ordered another one and decided it would be nice to smoke. 

When I got out I saw the last couple of minutes of the hot Californian twilight and was left to enjoy the early night. Cicadas were singing their oddly rhythmic song and I was inhaling smoke like it was my last cigarette on earth. It was nice to feel the relaxation spread from my chest to my hands and then knees. It felt nice having nothing to worry about for a night  and just do whatever your heart tells you to, even if it's totally stupid. The smoke twirled in the air above my head in irregular spirals. I watched it slowly dissolve in thick warm air, traffic noise making the whole experience a little bit ambient. I took out another cigarette and lit it from the previous one, as I had lost my lighter a few days ago and hadn't bought another one yet. I know, I know. My mind was in a weird state, I felt very calm and very nervous at the same time and I couldn't say what exactly caused it. I should probably stop drinking and smoking so much. But not today. 

My cigarette was quickly coming to an end as I watched people gathering near the bar entrance for a small chat or a smoke. I went back inside to continue my contemplation with a cocktail in my hand, but I was also determined to get to know someone. Maybe, that cute bartender who served the "dancing juice" will be back? I could talk to him, at least I did last time and it wouldn't be that awkward. But I haven't seen him today yet and I wasn't sure I will, therefore I decided to concentrate on people, cruising back and forth between table area and the bar itself. Everyone seemed very comfortable and friendly, but not a one familiar face in the whole room. Suddenly, I heard a phrase that made me jump on my stool and rush to the dance floor, occupied by two young men in weird shorts. 

Get on your dancing shoes!

I cannot explain why the indie tunes from 2000s made me so eager to dance, but they did and I was fine with it. I wiggled my ass to the beat, shook my head and pretended to sing the song to the boys in weird shorts. They somehow agreed to take part in my performance and the three of us had a very nice time dancing and jumping around for the next couple of songs. Soon I was very hot and went back to my place at the bar to take a sip of my drink and order a refill and some water. I went to the bathroom right after I saw the bartender nod at me, letting me know he heard what I told him, as the music was getting louder.

I was surprised to see there was no queue to the bathroom, so I used my chance not to hurry and take my time to fix my makeup and hair. I was even more surprised to see the bar crowded when I finished and I was absolutely flabbergasted to find my place at the bar occupied by some dick! Can you tell I went from 0 to 100 in a couple of seconds? My mood wasn't so great before but now it was pretty much spoiled. I saw the guy talk to the bartender and put my drink aside and my ass went off. Somehow in such situations I have a resting bitch face, which may serve an impression of me being unbothered, but it's not exactly how I felt then. I was furious because there was no other place to sit at the bar and it was just rude of the guy to sit on my stool, cause there was my drink, signifying it was occupied.

I came up to the dude and touched his shoulder to catch his attention. He turned around with half a smirk quickly changing into a look of surprise. I could feel my eyes grow in size when I saw who it was. "Is it fucking real?" - I asked myself, trying to be less shook. What an amazing coincidence, my stool at the bar was occupied by the dancing dude! - Who would have thought, am I right? — he said, fully turning to face me. — Not me, for sure. Get off my stool. — I shoo'd him from the stool but he didn't move a muscle. — Nope. You weren't sitting here when I came in, so it's mine now. — I raised my eyebrow in disbelief. — Don't be a little dick, you've seen my glass standing right here.  — I will buy you another one if you get off my dick. And once we are talking about that…. — he chuckled a bit. — You can sit in my lap if you fancy. My eyes widened, I was astonished by his bold move. — Are you flirting with me? — Who knows. So, mardy bum? Are you climbing in my lap or …? — he asked, looking attentively at my face with a wide smirk, pleased with himself. 

I threw my hands in the air silently and turned my back on him. I didn't fancy sitting in a random dude's lap, even if the dude was kinda hot and not actually random. Oh God, FUCK! He looked a bit different this time; his beard was trimmed and his hair was gelled back, black shirt and pants so tight I could probably see the outline of his underwear if he wore any. What a dweeb. I guess I'd recognized him instantly if I saw those pants. 

Why is this so embarrassing? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wanted to sass this bitch out, but I couldn't come up with anything merely appropriate for the situation, so I decided to ignore his questions and turned to take my glass. At this exact moment a very familiar and a really slow song came on.

I somehow lost my breath and fell into a spiral of memories I had associated with the song playing for a second. I was watching people dividing into pairs on the dance floor and it broke my heart a little. I remembered my ex-sweetheart holding me tight to him while this exact song played quietly in our apartment, right after the final fight we had. I remembered the emptiness I felt then and my eyes became too watery. I am not going to cry at the bar today, I told myself. No one was going to ask me to dance today anyway, I thought, and it stroke me pretty hard. I turned to go out of the bar to have a cigarette when the dancing dude touched my hand. I looked at him, struck by the sensation. He was offering his hand to me.

"Shall we dance a little?" 

I had no time to think properly and the whole situation felt a bit like deja vu. He was waiting for me to take his hand, eyes on me, wandering from hair to eyes, to boobs and back. I accepted his almost silent invitation and followed him to the middle of the dance floor.

When I'm around slow dancing in the dark Don't follow me, you'll end up in my arms

We were surrounded by different couples and that's one of the reasons I loved LA. It was just beautiful to see people simply dancing together. No one really cared what people might have thought of them, this is how it should be. He held my hands in his and as we're almost the same height I almost touched his long nose with mine. We remained silent while we were swirling in a very little space we had among all the people. His palms were soft and warm and I enjoyed his touch, even though I didn't want to admit it. 

Soon enough we got even closer and danced way slower. My lips were almost on his jaw as we were almost hugging each other to a sad song. Him being so close yet so far made me puzzled in some way. I didn't want this to happen and yet here I am, staring at dude's earlobes and gelled strands of wavy hair on the neck. Pretty view, should I say. He smelled exactly the same as I remembered and I found the smell heavenly complex. This sparked an idea to spend as much time in his arms as possible, but I shooed the thought away. It would be inappropriate.

I turned my head a bit to see his face clearly. His eyes were closed, but I could sense something going on in his head. He moved easily and graciously, even with me by his side and I was pleasantly surprised to realize he led me all the time we were dancing. I smiled a little to myself. It felt good to be in his arms and I decided it won't hurt to put my head on his shoulder, so I did. I took a deep breath, inhaling his cologne and smiled again. He tilted his head a bit, so it would touch mine. I thought about how we looked like on the dance floor seen by others. We probably look like two sad people dancing to a slow song, I sassed myself and shook my head a bit. Dude asked me if I was okay and I responded "sure". That was it, the whole conversation during the dance.

Can't you see? I don't wanna slow dance  In the dark

As the song was reaching its climax, we almost stopped moving at all. My hand that was placed on his shoulder slid down to his waist. He did the same with his hand, still holding mine. I liked him not pushing anything on me and appreciated the effort to be nice. It felt right to be this close to him somehow. I saw him lip-synching a little to the song and felt his warm breath on my cheek. I kept smiling as I watched his private performance. With the final phrase we stopped completely and just stood in each other's embrace for a couple of seconds longer than necessary. I didn't want to let him go. He seemed to feel the same. I blushed a bit, because it was getting awkward. Eventually, we split and I followed him to the bar.

He sat on a stool next to mine which appeared to be empty and gestured a bartender to come over. I sipped my cocktail, which I completely forgot about, to be honest. I was watching the dance floor and the dude turned to me and asked "Whatcha gonna drink, mardy bum?"

I did not expected that and took some time to proceed with the question. I looked at him, confused. "Nothing for now. Excuse me" i said and rushed to the bathroom. I didn't want to use it, however, I felt an urgent need to get away from his deep dark eyes inspecting my face. I turned on cold water and splashed some on my neck and chest to calm myself down. I guess I shouldn't have left like this, I thought, maybe I need to go back and try to have a normal conversation? I wanted to talk to someone less than half an hour ago. Oh no, there would be no conversation, darling, you will just stare at his face for an uncomfortably long time until he finds you creepy and leaves, I told myself. Well, this sucks but I have to go back anyway. I'd fancy a smoke, after all it was an experience and I definitely needed some nicotine in my system. I went out of the bathroom to finish my cocktail at the bar and found the dude's stool empty. It made me a bit sad, but I didn't say goodbye either, so it's only fair. I knocked my drink down and headed to the exit.

[fandom-necromancer]

1024. Part 3

I wanted to have another story finished today, but well my brain told my planning to phck off and take the new path and what can I say, I like it better that way. Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 [Part 1]   [Part 2]   [Part 4]   [Part 5]   [Part6]

‘Captain-‘ ‘Captain, no, I don’t care.’ ‘What’s my source? Okay, me taking trips to Cyberlife for everyone, that wasn’t- No, you know what? I don’t have time to tell you my life story right now. The tower is being overrun by some people I don’t know but it sure didn’t sound like they came to adopt some tin-can!’ ‘Why haven’t they called yet? I don’t know, Captain, I think they just did!’ ‘No not over the official channels, that’s right but-‘ Gavin had to take the phone from his ear for a moment to breath and swallow his fury. Yelling at the man wouldn’t do anything. ‘Listen, Captain. I trust my source. And I’m just asking you to trust me. With all the anti-Cyberlife protests lately, don’t you think some extremists attacking them is so far-fetched? I’m going in no matter what and you can either send in backup or let me handle the situation alone. Shit, just tell your superiors you got some anonymous call or something. Please.’ ‘Yes I phcking now how to say “please”, Fowler, there are lives on the line goddamnit! Yes. Thank you.’

Gavin cut the call with more force than necessary and sped through the streets with the portable siren stuck to his roof. He took everything his car gave him to get past the bridge and managed to break before the turn. He didn’t bother with parking his car, just let it come to a halt somewhere it wouldn’t stand in the way if – when backup arrived. He had his badge and gun still strapped to his belt from work and hurried out of his car to kneel behind the hood.

Everything looked like it had been all the times he had come here before. Only that this time the front doors stood wide open and the lights were switched off inside the building. The streetlamps made it impossible to look inside the lobby, so Gavin kept to the clean-cut bushes lined around the whole area to get closer to the building. He didn’t know what he had expected, but definitely not a completely empty lobby. The chairs in the waiting room were empty and the reception was left vacant. No security guard on side. But also no blood and no sign of a struggle. No bullet holes in the walls.

It made something in him sink. Did they flee? But then there wouldn’t have been any other cars in the parking lot. So, a hostage situation? As much as he hated to do it, he called Hank. ‘Anderson?’ ‘Yeah, Reed here. The Captain send you already?’ ‘Nah, Chris and Tina are on their way and Allen briefs his team.’ ‘You and Connor. Come.’ ‘Hey, wait, what the fuck is all that about?’ ‘I think we might have a hostage situation at hand. I’m at the tower now and there is no one. Their cars are still here, but no people. No signs of a fight either. I think we could use the plastic Detective.’ ‘Alright, on it.’ You could complain a lot about Hank, but when push came to shove you could rely on him.

Gavin stored the phone in his pocket and finally took action. He hurried over to the entrance and sprinted behind the reception desk. As he looked around the lobby was still deserted and at least the gallery on top of it was too. Hesitantly he stood up and looked over the various computers. Most were just used for everyday work: databanks with status and objects of costumer’s orders, a lot of gibberish numbers only the receptionists would understand and finally, what Gavin had searched for: a rudimentary surveillance system. Unfortunately, it covered only the lobby and gallery and nothing more. Empty floors, halls and hallways. Gavin sighed and turned to look out for the RK900. The android knew his ways around in this tower, maybe he could help.

The way to the back of the lobby was familiar by now and it was easy to find the small room the android had described. It was tucked away in a corner not to be seen by anyone who would accidentally wander there, but if you searched for it, well, it wasn’t exactly hidden. Gavin walked up to it and took out his weapon, just in case. He opened the door and carefully slipped in, using his phone to light his way in the now total darkness. ‘Hey, tin-can? You there? Its me, Gavin.’ There was no answer. Gavin walked around, flicking his light over the walls and cleaning equipment. ‘Hey, it’s safe, you can come out’, he spoke into the small room, but again, only silence followed. It was empty. The RK900 wasn’t there.

His phone was in his hand before he even made the connection and he quickly tried to find the number the android had called from. It wasn’t really a phone number, but then again, how should Gavin know how all this technology worked? He just called and hoped to achieve something. The call was picked up and Gavin felt relief flooding his mind. ‘Hey, tin-can, where-‘ ‘Sixth floor. Twenty-two hostages, I believe thirteen-‘ ‘Hey, what’s all that whispering?’ Gavin held his breath. Oh, he hated to be right and this didn’t sound good. ‘You are scaring people.’ It was spoken loudly and with confidence. If the toaster was still as afraid as he had been while calling him, he hid it well. ‘Oh, well, good. That’s what we want. Damn Cyberlife bootlickers. Now shut up!’ ‘These are innocent people you are targeting’, the android disobeyed. ‘I don’t know what you try to achieve, but I don’t think it will succeed by trapping people like you and me in here!’ Gavin shook his head. ‘RK, please. Stop. You don’t want to get shot, do you?’ But the android didn’t listen. ‘Oh, I can’t agree. The big bosses will finally notice our demands. And if they don’t care for the lives of their people, then they will about their property.’ ‘Do you think the revolution would have worked if androids started to use violence?’ ‘Listen, we don’t want to harm anyone. If they don’t listen to this, well, then we’ll get everyone out and blow this whole tower up! Maybe then they’ll be ready to talk.’

Gavin stopped in his tracks towards the lift. Clever. The android had practically made the idiot spill his whole plan. Hostages up on the sixth floor, a bomb somewhere vital. Twenty-two hostages and Gavin knew the RK900 had wanted to tell him there were thirteen people who kept them there. That plus the bomb team was far more than Gavin could take care of. Just where was the phcking backu- ‘Freeze, DPD!’ ‘Announce it any louder, you phcktwats and they will hear it too!’, Gavin snapped at Hank’s voice. ‘Gavin?’ ‘Yeah no shit, I called you here, why so surprised?’ ‘Because I thought to find you head over heals in some shit because you couldn’t wait.’ Gavin scowled at them, but actually he was rather happy to see the Lieutenant with Connor in tow. And if that was true, he was absolutely delighted to see Captain Allen with Sixty and a SWAT team. ‘You got anything on the situation by now?’, Allen asked, and Gavin nodded. He had always liked the man more due to him actually doing his job. ‘Yes. I have someone inside. There are thirteen, probably armed persons holding twenty-two civilian hostages on the sixth floor. They also mentioned a bomb being placed, but my contact couldn’t find out where. He could speak with one of the extremists and apparently this bomb is meant as a backup plan.’ ‘That is… more than we get usually. We should take care of the hostages first, as we will have to call in a bomb defusal squad and it will take some time for them to get here.’ ‘Fine. Hank, Gavin and I are going to search for the bomb in the meantime.’ ‘Oh, no I will tag along with the hostage team.’ ‘You are in no ways trained to-‘ ‘My- A friend of mine is in there and to hell, I won’t let him  be alone after this, you got me? Connor got the sensors for ten people and your men won’t notice a thing from me.’ ‘A friend?’, Hank teased and earned an angry look from Gavin. ‘Fine’, Allen said. ‘Just don’t get in our way.’

A crammed, very awkward ride up to the sixth floor later, they crept through the dark hallway towards the only room that still had the lights on. From inside voices could be heard as well as heavy footsteps. Gavin walked up to the door, but Allen held him back. ‘What are you planning? This is my operation and I won’t let you fuck it up.’ ‘Well, I wasn’t planning that’, Gavin nagged back. ‘You are all up in gear, but I look every bit like one of these hostages. I could prepare them to run in case you go in and something goes wrong. Figured you didn’t want any casualties, right?’ ‘Fine. That might work. Just don’t get caught.’

Gavin looked through the little glass window of what looked like some meeting room. Tables and chairs had been shoved to the side and the hostages were sitting in the corner opposite to the door. He sighed, bracing himself, then waited for a guard to pass. He slipped in, knowing full well the closing door would create a sound that would gather everyone’s attention. So, best to create a greater ruckus.

He walked up to the nearest guard before anyone could notice him and tapped him on the shoulder. That had the desired effect of the android jerking around and near shoot him. By then all attention was on him and not on the door gently clicking back into the frame. ‘I need to take a shit.’ ‘What?’ ‘I need to go on the toilet. Do you know how long I sat down there? Lousy costumer support if you ask me, but then this all happened and I really have to go to the restroom.’ ‘Go back to the others!’ ‘Hey, come on, man, I know you people don’t have to, but do you know how it feels to really badly need to go? Trust me you are the lucky ones.’ ‘I said, go back to the others!’, the android said and underlined it with a nice shove in their direction. ‘Ah, jeez, fine, I’m going, tin-can. Just don’t complain about the smell if I can’t contain myself any longer.’ The android pulled a disgusted face, but Gavin hurried over to the hostages, so he let him go. Gavin sat down and wobbled around a bit, waiting for the dust to settle. There were curious looks from the others, but the guards didn’t sense a thing. Perfect.

He flicked out his phone, positioning it so, that the screen wasn’t visible for the guards. Then he typed Police, door, escape, stay calm and nudged it towards the person next to him. While his phone was handed around whenever no one was looking at them, Gavin searched for the RK900. He was sitting with his back against the wall, a little girl and supposedly her mother sitting next to him. He had his arms protectively around the girl but looked only at him. Gavin tried to smile and give him a thumbs-up, but who knew how convincing that was to an android.

As his phone made its way back to him, he looked up to the glass window in the door. What were they waiting for? Should he create another distraction for them? Goddamn, if he got shot because of this, he would haunt Allen forever.

‘Hey, I know I should stay here, but I really, really have to go to the toilet’, he started again. ‘I mean, how long do you plan on doing this? How will anyone even know? There is no news coverage, nothing. You really didn’t plan this through, did you?’ ‘Shut up!’ ‘Really, being kidnapped is bad, but being kidnapped by incompetents? Come on, I just want to go to the bathroom. Nothing is happening anyways.’ Gavin stood up, just to be pushed down again. ‘Stay down, for the love of god!’ ‘Do you even believe in one? I mean you at least know you were created I guess it makes sense…’ ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ ‘Oh nothing, you plastic phcks. I wish that you one day experience the feeling of a full bladder. Have mercy.’ ‘Will you fucking shut up and stay-‘

The door banged open and Sixty was the first to run in. They immediately went for the guards, while Allen was still shouting: ‘DPD! Drop your weapons and put your hands up!’ Gavin was on his feet and pulled the next-best hostage up with him, hoping the rest got his message. He directed them into the next corner and out of the door, while the criminals were still occupied with the SWAT-team. Gavin helped them out, pushing them out into the hallway and towards the lift. From the corner of his eye he saw the RK900 with the girl in his arms among them. As everyone was out, he took his own gun and jogged back into the room, only to find the SWAT already in control of the situation with the remaining ones surrendering. With one nod from Allen, Gavin walked back to the lift to help the rest of the group inside.

In front of the lobby already stood several ambulances and police cars. Apparently, the Captain had done his homework while he had been in there playing his role. He ushered them towards the already waiting police officers and paramedics, while searching for his android. The RK900 let down the girl and looked overly dumbfounded being pulled into a hug from the mother. Only then he froze, looking around him and back to the tower. Gavin walked up to him patting his back. ‘And how is it out here?’ ‘I shouldn’t be here. I am-‘ ‘A phcking softie?’, Gavin laughed. ‘Goddamn, drop the thing with being some bomb about to go off. Speaking of which…’ He pulled the RK900 with him, towards Fowler who stood there with a portable comms. ‘Hey, Cap, do Connor and Hank need any help?’ The Captain looked up to him and the android behind him. ‘They located the explosives and Connor could defuse it himself, no specialist necessary. They say they are coming up right now.’ ‘Connor is here?’ Gavin groaned. ‘Yeah, tin-can. But don’t you go fangirling over him, I saved you, okay?’ ‘O-of course. But…’ ‘Hey, plastic, if you wanna talk to him, go talk to him. Just-‘ The exhaustion from the day had been pushed away by the adrenaline, but now that faded and he was just tired to the bone. ‘Just meet me in the car when you are ready.’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Toaster. I won’t leave you in this phcking building for one more day. You aren’t dangerous, it’s a fact. And Cyberlife won’t exist much longer, believe me. God, stay with New Jericho, if you want, but for now, I’ll take you home with me, because I’m phcking tired and need to sleep.’ ‘Oh. That would be… very nice. Where is your car? We should go immediately. You said you needed to go to the bathroom too.’

Gavin looked up to the android in confusion while they were walking towards the parking lot. Then it clicked. ‘Oh, that was only play pretend, just to cause a distraction and- Never mind, I think I could use a shower.’

[>next part]

[marksburyscripts]

Season 1, Episode 5-- Heartwrench

Google Doc

[Henry’s hospital room. Day. There are no longer the sounds of life support.]

VICTOR

...You’re sure it’s okay?

HENRY

Yeah, it’s fine. Whatever helps. Record away.

VICTOR

All right. Thanks.

HENRY

...You don’t have to be nervous, you know.

VICTOR

I’m not.

HENRY

Then why are you doing that?

VICTOR

Doing what?

HENRY

You’re clenching and releasing your hand, and you’re rocking a bit in your chair. Both of which you do when you’re nervous. Seriously, how long have I known you? [Beat.] No, you don’t have to stop.

VICTOR

Oh thank God. [Beat.] ...How’re you feeling?

HENRY

Like I’ve been in a coma for the better part of a year. But lucid, so that’s an improvement, I guess.

VICTOR

Right. Right, yeah.

HENRY

...You know we’ve gotta talk about this, right?

VICTOR

Henry, shouldn’t we wait until you’re--

HENRY

No. We’re doing it now. While you’re recording. ...Victor, please tell me that I’m remembering wrong. Please tell me that I’ve just got some real bad brain damage and it’s fucking with me. That I didn’t walk in on some… first attempt at reanimating a fucking corpse.

VICTOR

[Mumbled] Second.

HENRY

Excuse me?

VICTOR

It was a second attempt, I’d done it before.

HENRY

Jesus Christ.

VICTOR

Also it’s not technically reanimation. If it had been a single body, sure, but I used materials from several donors--

HENRY

What the hell is wrong with you? In what fantasy could you ever see that turning out well? That’s the kind of shit that horror movies are made from!

VICTOR

I’m sorry, I--

HENRY

You were stupid! You were stupid, and reckless, and you didn’t think about the consequences!

VICTOR

I know, I just--

HENRY

Oh my God, that’s what the fire was about, wasn’t it? That had something to do with it. You freaked out, and you tried to burn the evidence. So what, you figured you’d risk more lives then, too? What if there had been people in there, Victor, what then?! Is that what attacked me? And did-- Did Justine really kill your brother? Or was that part of it, too? You have people’s lives on your conscience, all because you wanted to fuck around and find out if you could--

VICTOR

I just wanted my mom back, okay?! I know I fucked up. Believe me, I don’t need any more reminders. But I-- I had my reasons, it wasn’t just some ego trip.

HENRY

[Calmer now] ...Does Elliot know?

VICTOR

I’m sure he figured it out, yeah.

HENRY

What’s that supposed to mean?

VICTOR

Oh. Oh God, they didn’t tell you.

HENRY

Tell me what?

VICTOR

...Henry, Elliot’s dead.

HENRY

Oh God. God, I…. I’m so sorry, I…. How’s your dad taking it?

VICTOR

Well, considering he died two days later, I’d say not very well.

HENRY

What?

VICTOR

[Getting more and more distraught] He’s dead too, Henry. Him, Elliot, my mother, Billy, Justine. Everyone is dead, and I have been so alone and so scared, and I have no idea what I am supposed to do.

HENRY

...Hey. C’mere. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m just stressed, I shouldn’t have said all that shit.

VICTOR

You have every right to.

HENRY

No, being a dick won’t fix anything. Plus, you’ve obviously been through hell. Your glasses look like you were just at a 4Chan meetup.

VICTOR

[Laughs] I don’t know what that means.

HENRY

It means you need to get some damn lens cleaner, how the hell can you see out of those thing?

VICTOR

Just used to it, I suppose.

HENRY

You hear from Evelynn at all?

VICTOR

Take a guess.

HENRY

That’ll be a no. You try talking to her?

VICTOR

Of course not.

HENRY

...So you’re upset that you’ve been alone, yet you haven’t even tried to get in contact with your sister?

VICTOR

Look, I don’t need a lecture right now, okay? I get enough of those from Dr Walton.

HENRY

Wait, you’re seeing Dr Walton? Like, Robert Walton? Kinda short, always has a bow tie?

VICTOR

Yeah…? Do you know him, or…?

HENRY

Sort of, he was a guest speaker for my Abnormal Psych class during undergrad. He seems good.

VICTOR

Yeah, I suppose.

HENRY

How much you tell him?

VICTOR

I’m not sure I could tell him what happened even if I wanted to.

HENRY

...What happens when you try?

VICTOR

Don’t. Don’t do that.

HENRY

Do what?

VICTOR

That. You’re trying to… diagnose me.

HENRY

No, you’re my friend and I don’t have a license to practice. That’s illegal. I’m… offering informed advice.

VICTOR

Yeah, well, I’ll save you the trouble. Clinical depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and paranoid personality disorder. Though that last one is debatable. I might be missing some. Come back when you finish your Ph.D, Clerval.

HENRY

[Softly] Jesus…. [Trying to lighten the mood now] Doing it then it would be even more illegal. Then we’ll have two criminals here. [Beat.] Sorry. That wasn’t as funny as I expected it to be.

VICTOR

No. No, it’s fine. You’re not wrong. [Laughs] Should’ve seen what it was like trying to find a job with an arson charge. I’m lucky I managed to get the one I have.

HENRY

Yeah? What job’s that?

VICTOR

I’m over at Harris’ down on Main Street.

HENRY

Holy shit. The great Victor Frankenstein, the mad genius, the Prometheus of the 21st century, is selling discount hardware.

VICTOR

Well, I don’t actually sell anything most of the time. I’m customer service. Mostly returns, taking phone calls, fun stuff like that.

HENRY

You’re fucking with me. You hate talking on the phone.

VICTOR

And I hate my job. But if they’re willing to give a felon minimum wage, who am I to argue?

HENRY

Hey man, whatever works. I do have one more question, though. 

VICTOR

Okay?

HENRY

Is that the hoodie I lent you that day?

VICTOR 

Oh, um, right, yeah. I-- I was going to give it back, but then you-- You know, and then I was just so distracted, between worrying about you and the police hounding me--

HENRY

Hold on, police?

VICTOR

Oh. Right. They, um… They thought that I did it for a while. Elliot, too.

HENRY

Oh God. 

VICTOR

I mean, I can't blame them. I've got a record, and that's a lot of people close to me who--

[The door opens. Both men are silent for a moment.]

HENRY

Hello…?

VICTOR

Sorry. That’s probably me.

HENRY

What?

VICTOR

Things have been… weird. It’s a long story.

HENRY

You built a person out of corpses, and I’m bedridden for who knows how long. I’ve got all the time in the world for the details.

VICTOR

...Ever since I…. Ever since the fire, things have been… happening around me. I know how this is going to sound, but you need to believe me, okay? Ever since I… made it… it’s like…. I don’t know. It doesn’t even really make sense, I-- The two concepts aren’t even remotely similar, I--

HENRY

Hey. Hey, breathe for me, okay? 

VICTOR

Okay. Okay, sorry. ...That was the first night that I experienced something that I was unable to explain. Granted, I wasn’t exactly in the best mental state at the time, so for a while, I figured that it must have been a hallucination. I’ll be honest, sometimes I’m still able to convince myself that it was. But I know it’s not. 

VICTOR (Cont.)

Sorry. Sorry, let me back up. [Sighs] The… first signs of life came at 1:15 AM. The rise and fall of the chest, the flicker of movement behind the eyelids. Whether or not there was cognitive function had yet to be seen, but… I suppose you know how that turned out. It was at 1:16 that everything started to go downhill. When I realized what I’d done, when-- when the possible consequences hit me all at once. The wrongness of the situation, I…. I almost didn’t hear it. Or-- No. No, I didn’t hear it so much as I felt it. I felt a voice throughout my body, in every single nerve, clawing its way into my subconscious. I-- I couldn’t make out what it was saying, but… I got the sickening feeling that it was proud of me. Proud of what I’d managed to achieve. Whether or not anything happened for the couple months that I was in the hospital afterwards, I can’t really say. I was in shock, I couldn’t tell you what was real and what was hallucination. Honestly, you’d probably be better at figuring out if anything odd was happening during that time, you were there. But what I can tell you is that it never stopped. Sometimes the TV would turn on in the middle of the night blasting static, a couple times I woke up in the morning to find my glasses outside on the windowsill. Then there are the more… sinister ones. Beings that aren’t quite human, there one moment, gone the next. Or sinking, terrifying senses of dread that lead up to disaster.

HENRY

So… you’re seeing ghosts?

VICTOR

No, obviously not ghosts, ghosts don’t exist. Jeeze, you sound like Elliot. [He laughs, but it fades]  ...Not ghosts. But… something. Something that found me that night and hasn’t left me alone since. It’s all connected, I know it is. I just need to analyze everything. You know me, I work with data and research. If I can get the evidence, I can work out what’s going on. I even ended up setting cameras up in my house, but… they always freeze up whenever something happens. Typical. Either that or-- Or I don’t even have it happen myself, sometimes it’s other people who--

HENRY

Wait. Other people?

VICTOR

Yes. But it’s not like I want it to happen, it just does. I usually don’t even know them. I just… hear about them on the news, or sometimes they tell me themselves if I happen to run into them.

HENRY

...And strangers just tell you about all the creepy shit that happens to them?

VICTOR

...Sometimes, yeah.

HENRY

...You know what, I’m not going to even pretend to be surprised.

VICTOR

Honestly, that’s how I deal with it. So yeah. There you go. Spooky.

HENRY

...Do people get hurt because of it? [Victor doesn’t answer] Shit…. Well then. That settles it. I guess we’ve got work to do.

VICTOR

What?

HENRY

I said, we’ve got work to do. Maybe you’re content wallowing in self-pity while creepy shit radiates off of you, but I sure as hell won’t sit on my ass as it happens.

VICTOR

Henry--

HENRY

I know what you’re doing. You’re treating it like some punishment. Like you deserve it. Well, I’m here to tell you that you don’t. And neither does anyone else. You fucked up, yeah. And I’m not going to lie, it’s going to take some time for us to get back to the way we were. But it’s like you said. You had your reasons. You didn’t mean for it all to go to hell. And you didn’t kill them. So you and me are going to buck up and--

[He is cut off by a sound of pain as he moves]

VICTOR

Hey, whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. We'll figure it out. We have time to plan, take action, whatever we need to do. But right now, what you need to do is rest. I'll wash the hoodie and bring it back first thing tomorrow. 

HENRY

Nah, you keep it. It suits you, I can always get another. Plus, who the hell knows where you've been the past year? 

VICTOR 

[He laughs. This time it feels genuine] Asshole.

NEXT EPISODE➝