#but they couldn’t find him anywhere
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hammerbacks · 3 months ago
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one of my favourite bits from this so far is how he sent number 10 into a panic one day because he was nowhere to be found and his car was still outside, but it turned out that he’d managed to sneak out on foot with someone from the cabinet office (and no police protection or anything) to get a mcdonalds
reading a book about john major’s first 18 months in office and despite being just shy of 50 pages into this, i’ve been smacked full force with both admiration for him and sadness that we don’t make prime ministers like him anymore
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loz-the-noob · 3 months ago
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Updated photo of the Jellycat gang for 2024!
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cometrose · 4 months ago
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thinking about our jinzhou generals like
geshu lin: your soldiers are nothing but bodies, it doesn’t matter how many you sacrifice as long as you achieve your goal, you will carry the weight of their souls with you, history will scorn you
jiyan: remember the name of every person under your command, you know their life story, you know their fears and worries, when they die you dream of them, day after day, and consumed by nightmares of everyone you’ve lost
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questionably-audhd-oracle · 23 days ago
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I feel a little better today, I think. Still not great. Mostly stressed and frustrated with myself. I hate identifying problems that I know I can’t fix.
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thevioletcaptain · 5 months ago
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nevvaraven · 1 year ago
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sentientsky · 11 months ago
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pov: your baby brother is a Weird Little Guy™️
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yeetusthemighty · 6 months ago
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Tell me why I am about to cry happy tears over a goddamn tiny little Lego staff with blue on the end like. what.
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aroaessidhe · 1 year ago
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2023 reads // twitter thread
This Doesn’t Mean Anything
NA contemporary romance about a sex-repulsed girl starting uni and meeting an upperclassman who hangs out in the same study room and coffeeshop as she does
struggling with her asexuality, new friendships, and harassment
#This Doesn’t Mean Anything#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#well.#I was overall enjoying the first half of this! then it went to shit lol#for one. WAY TOO LONG. but also feels like scenes would be very short then skip to the next day#I liked how the first half of the book was just developing the relationship as a friendship.#there’s a conflict at 50% and they literally are terrible to each other for almost the entire rest of the book#also the conflict of why they can’t get together feels manufacured.#he feels like he (21) is too old for her (18) and while i’m like…yeah I understand that im iffy about it too;#as the reader we know they’re going to get together anyway. so it just feels stupid. and made that way just to cause a conflict. which lasts#too long.#2)#then men are SO overprotective to the point it’s kinda. not creepy exactly but like why the fuck can none of these women go anywhere without#a dude accompanying them? the MMC even. when she tells him to leave her alone (because he rejected her) he’s still being all protective and#and calling her sweetheart like I started to actively dislike him. it’s like. borderline manipulative ‘nice guy’#THEN it threw in a SA at 80% or whatever which. a) can we not SA our ace characters and b) is just not handled well. it feels like an excuse#to make them hurt/comfort and then get together aka end their conflict. which. oof.#3)#‘i was looking up why i dont want sex and i saw the word asexuality but couldn’t find much else maybe the GSA could help’#you can’t use info-not-on-the-internet as a plot excuse when. there is endless info about that on the internet? I don’t think this is set in#2005? also she doesnt even go ask the gsa#while her sex repulsion is a significant part of the book actual references to asexuality are extremely brief and half of it is shoved into#the last chapters. and it’s almost entirely her being self hating and the LI affirming her#anyway I can see the INTENTION is good here; the quality of writing just makes it all bad#like maybe these things are the author's experience and that's fine. the way it's written is uncomfortable.#i can tell all the 5* reviews are people who have never read an ace book before. i promise there is better#i think there’s gonna be a companion sequel about her roommate being aroace which. I don’t have super high hopes for writing-wise but I gues#guess I'm interested
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lovelyisadora · 10 months ago
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it isn’t the end of the semester but i’m already having my end of the semester breakdown oh my GOD I am going to have a heart attack. sprite save me
#nothing is done!! not my applications not my interviews etc#I am running out of time to graduate in June and I could just graduate in august but then I have to admit to my family that I fucked up bad#it takes 3-6 weeks to get IRB approval I need to step on it#it’ll take at least 4 for my paid leave forms for work to go through and I don’t know if it’ll get approved#and if it does when do my benefits start#I feel like an idiot where those forms are concerned because it needs an occupation code and I don’t know if it’s specific#or if I can just select the one that best matches my job description and I can’t find that info anywhere#my body is literally shutting down I have two golf ball sized tumors and I can’t get out of bed but I can’t sleep#my car is kaputt and I have to call several different shops to get it seen because the one I took it to couldn’t fix it#and is any of it worth it!! is any of it!!#I cried for like three hours today bc I tried to talk to my mom about it and. well. she was very much a mom about it and not helpful#like yeah! obviously I want to graduate in June! but my research isn’t even approved because I haven’t been able to get myself#to complete the application for the last six months! Jesus Christ!#I can’t sleep and I’m so tired I’m so so tired my brain just straight up isn’t working!#I swear to god if I finally meet with my advisor and he does his well you don’t seem to need my help bullshit again#I’m gonna actually snap and kill him#anyway. need to do three things by end of Wednesday. just three things#clean. irb. and paid leave. that’s it that’s all.#it’s what I’ve tried to do the last four days and I’ve accomplished none of it but. Jesus Christ it’s gotta get done#FOUR THINGS I have to call the shop to get an estimate for a car I’m not even going to bother to fix#ok vent session over#delete later#fkdjdjshhaa im a MESS#sprite save me 😭#save me sprite. save me
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years ago
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Not to be one of those people who complains but why are the two library books I reserved 3 weeks ago (as the first person in the queue mind you. And both of them are popular books with multiple copies available) still not ready
#like okay admittedly i think one of them might have been claimed by a book club. based on what i’m seeing (10 copies all currently out and#all due back on the same day) i think that’s the only likely possibility#the book club is able to take literally tons of books out of the library and get much longer loans than a regular civilian like myself could#so i think that must be what it is. but there are still 4 other copies out there?? where are they#one was due back in fucking june of last year and is apparently nowhere to be found. what is going on#either someone didn’t put it through the machine right or has just stolen the book or something#what i don’t get is why no one’s taken it out of the system yet? when i volunteered there i used to get given the dead stock list at least#once a month and have to hunt down any books that were on the list. it was books that hadn’t been taken out or seen in 6 months plus#and if i couldn’t find it anywhere i had to mark it off the list and someone else would look and if they also couldn’t find it it got taken#out of the system. like. it’d be assumed lost; stolen or damaged & get written off essentially#so what is going on??#and then the other book has been ‘in transit’ for literally fucking two weeks. why#this is a big county i’ll give them that. but it doesn’t take two weeks to get anywhere#i stupidly reserved another book today but i’m not expecting to see it for like 2 months at least at this rate#was i the only person in [redacted] library system who ever processed book requests???? should i start volunteering again#and process my own request lmao. and then leave again#that sounds harsh. i did like it there but there was this fucking guy who i know meant well but i felt extremely uncomfortable around him#he never did anything and i don’t think he ever would have but i just felt suuuper uncomfortable around him. and then i felt bad for feeling#uncomfortable. and then covid happened and then i moved cities and just. left.#tl;dr i just want my books man. i want them before i lose all enthusiasm about reading them#personal
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infiniteiram · 2 months ago
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sometimes you think you’re *actually* over something until you finally lose it and now you’re spiralling into absolute insanity
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jaxon-exe · 1 month ago
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Ghost in the Watch Tower
(With any of my ideas, feel free to use this as u want)
So for whatever reason u want, Danny needs a new haunt. Now he can’t just pick anywhere. It has to be somewhere that fits him.
So after a bit of haunt hunting he finds the perfect place!! The fact it’s the HQ of a bunch of heroes satisfies his protection obsession nicely and as if it couldn’t get better ITS IN SPACE!!! It’s perfect!!! I mean yeah there r already people living and working there but Danny can turn invisible so it’s fine. He doesn’t need much honesty.
So for a few months Danny just chills in the watch tower without anyone knowing and all is great. Than one day Constantine is dragged into a meeting at the watch tower and immediately pick up on the fact that a Realms ghost has moved in and no one in the tower had seemed to notice.
Deciding it would be better to handle alone than risk a bunch of novices poking around one of the most dangerous types of undead there is, he sets up a banishment spell in a spare room. It should be fine anyway. The spell doesn’t affect humans so he can just deal with it and no one has to know.
Only it doesn’t work.
Ok then, well good thing he knows another ritual that should work! He gets it all set up, goes the incantation and… yeah that didn’t work either… it’s at this point he hears a near silence noise echo out. It takes a minute but he eventually figures out what it is.
…laughing…
This fucker is laughing at him…
Well any plan John had of just giving up is thrown out the window. This shit is personal now.
Danny on the other hand is having the time of his life! Not only did he score the perfect haunt, he now has free entertainment in the form of John ‘soul whore’ Constantine trying to banish him using spells and rituals that won’t do anything to a half human like him!! Best haunt EVER
Cut to a week later and Flash is on watch duty when the Zeta goes off and out walks John which leads to-
Flash: hey, wasn’t expecting.. is that a shotgun??
John: ghost in the watch tower
Flash: w-what??
John: Ghost. In the. Watch. Tower. *walks off*
Flash:…………………….*presses button* yeah hey bats urrr. I think Constantine’s lost it
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theprestigegirly · 8 months ago
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my day has been absolutely made by getting to see that recording im so happy
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starkeysprincess · 1 month ago
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⟢ FEELS TOO GOOD TO BE WRONG
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presenting kinktober day 1 ➔︎ stepbro!rafe
warnings: stepcest, pillow humping, guided masturbation, fingering, pussy slapping, gagging, praising, & degrading. 18+ mdni word count: 1.5k
kinktober m.list ⟡ rafe m.list
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rafe tip-toed his way up the stairs, not wanting to wake anyone, especially his stepmother, knowing she’d nag at him if she smelled even the slightest ounce of alcohol off him. his feet carried him to his room, ignoring the soft light under your bedroom door, figuring you must’ve forgotten to turn off the fairy lights that littered the room. 
he froze at small whimpers coming from your room, turning around and stopping outside his bedroom. he pressed his ear to the door, chewing on the side of his nail, listening for further noises.
your whimpers progressed, and nothing prepared him for the sight he saw of you, his sweet stepsister, when he quietly twisted the doorknob, cracking your door open ever so slightly. 
the soft yellow lights glowed around your silhouette as if you were an angel, yet your actions were nowhere close to pure. there you were, in nothing but a pair of baby blue panties and a tank top, rutting against a pillow that sat between your thighs. your eyes remained closed, brows furrowing as you rocked back and forth, trying to find a steady rhythm in hopes the plush pillow would graze your clit. 
rafe’s cock stiffened in his khakis, and he grinned to himself, taking your distraction as an opportunity to slip into your room, ensuring to shut the door without making a sound. he leaned against the door, crossed his arms over his chest, and continued to watch you for a few minutes. 
“what do we have here?” rafe chuckled. your eyes immediately opened, and you let out a small shriek in surprise. "w-why are you here?” you stuttered, heat rising to your cheeks in embarrassment. 
“thought you were having a nightmare and was just being a good big stepbrother and checkin’ on you,” rafe licked his lips, eyeing you, “what are you doing up, anyway?”.
“nothing,” your gaze shifted away from him. “nothin', huh?” your stepbrother taunted, “s’not what it looked like to me.” 
“could’ve sworn you were going at it like a bunny and humping away at your pillow,” he tsked. your lip wobbled as tears welled in your eyes; you weren’t sure if it was because you were ashamed or because you were overly frustrated from how horny you were, “i’m sorry”. 
rafe pushed himself off the wall and stalked towards you. he gripped your chin and tilted your head to look up at you. "stop crying, alright? crying isn’t going to get you anywhere.” 
your gaze drifted away from his, and you looked down at your hands in your lap, ushering another apology. his thumb swiped at your plump bottom lip, a tent starting to form in his khakis as the blood rushed to his cock, “mm, sweet girl, always sayin’ sorry”. 
the mattress dipped under his weight as he sat down, his rough hands grabbing at your waist and hoisting you onto his lap. your back was flush against his chest, and he had one hand sprawled across your lower tummy, fingers tracing patterns on your flesh, “you know…what you were doing s’nothing to be ashamed of”. 
it took every fiber in your being not to let out a small whimper when his leg bounced up and down, the material of his khakis rubbing your clit, “it’s not?”. rafe shook his head, “course not. you were just trying to make yourself feel good like the needy little thing you are, right?”.
“i’m not needy,” you murmured, crossing your arms over your chest.
“yeah? if that were true, you wouldn’t be trying to get yourself off by your pillow, would you?” rafe chuckled, “there are other ways to make yourself feel good…like using your fingers”. 
you couldn’t help but frown, “that’s not true”.  
the blonde shook his head, “then you must not be doing it right… i could teach you. would you like that, sweet girl?”.
your eyes lit up, nodding slowly at his offer, and his hand slid down your tummy to your thighs, spreading them further open. his fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties, tugging at it gently to pull it to the side, “pay attention to what i say, alright?”. 
once you give him confirmation, rafe grabs your hand, guiding it between your legs, “go on, stretch your little cunt with your fingers,” he rasps. you run your fingers through your slick folds, pushing two fingers into your wet cunt, “there you go,” he cooed, his hand pressing on your tummy, pulling you closer into him, “slowly move them in and out”. 
you listen to him, slowly pumping your fingers in and out of your slick pussy. your fingers move with ease as your arousal coats your fingers, and rafe groans, his hardon poking against your ass. his hand slid up your tummy to your tits, squeezing and massaging them. his thumb and forefinger pinch your nipple through your tank top, rolling it between his fingers, “c’mon princess, move them a little faster”. 
“atta girl, feels good, yeah?”.
“n-no, rafey, this feels wrong,” you shook your head, it was eating you alive. your mind racing with the thoughts of how wrong it is to let your step brother talk you through how to please yourself. 
“no? nothin’ is wrong if it makes you feel this good, but i guess i gotta do everything myself then, huh?” he scoffed. his fingers encircled your wrist, pulling it away to replace your fingers with his. 
“oh–” you gasped, his fingers moving to rub up and down your slit, slipping one finger deep inside you. he pushed his thick digit in and out, slowly working your needy hole open before adding another finger. he was knuckle-deep in your cunt, his fingers dragging against your inner walls with each push and pull motion.
you couldn’t help the whine you let out, bucking your hips against his fingers, “see, nothing wrong if it makes you feel good, right?”.
a small squeak traveled up your throat when he landed a light smack to your clit, “answer me, say ‘yes rafey, it’s not wrong if it feels good’. c’mon, say it, or i’ll leave you to go back to humping your pillow, and we both know it doesn’t nearly feel as good as this”.
you couldn’t bring yourself to say it; the way his fingers curled made your brain blank. you pushed your body further back against him, whining when he suddenly stopped, “why’d you stop?”.
“told you i’d stop, guess you’re on your own,” he shrugged, his fingers still buried deep inside you. you rolled your hips, trying to give yourself some relief, only to receive another smack to your clit. 
“you know what i wanna hear,” he murmured, nipping your ear lobe, “admit that it feels good, tell me how good it feels to have my fingers stuffed inside you”.
despite knowing it was wrong, you couldn’t help but admit that it does feel good, his fingers were making you feel pleasure like you’ve never felt before. 
“good girl,” rafe praised, pistoning his fingers once again, “such a good girl for letting me play with this pretty little pussy”.
your head lolls back, resting on his broad shoulder, “rafe,” you whine. your moans increasingly getting louder the faster he pumped his fingers while he continued to toy with your nipples.
his free hand slid up your neck, prodding his fingers against your lips before shoving his middle and ring fingers into your mouth, “gonna wake everyone up if you can’t keep your mouth shut, and we can’t have that, can we?”.
you hum in response, gagging when he shoves his fingers further down your throat, muffling your sweet moans. the sound of your pussy squelching around his fingers was music to his ears, “you hear that? hear how fuckin’ wet you are?”. 
“touch yourself, play with your clit f’me,” he whispered, groaning when you obeyed, watching you rub sloppy circles onto your clit. he dipped his head down, nuzzling his face into your neck, teeth grazing your sensitive skin, “yeah, just like that, princess. goddamn, you’re so wet, drippin’ all over my fingers”.
your breath hitches in your throat, drool coating rafe’s fingers as the tips of his fingers hit against your cervix, “look so fuckin’ pretty when your holes are stuffed full like the needy little slut you are,” he murmured, nipping at your neck. 
you push your head back onto his shoulder and look at him with half-lidded eyes. your chest is heaving as your breathing becomes sporadic, and you feel the coil in your stomach tighten. 
“that’s it, princess, cum all over my fingers. show me how much you love having me play with your pussy,” rafe whispers, grunting from the way your moans are muffled as you’re practically choking on his fingers. 
your eyes squeeze shut as you come undone, his fingers continuing to work you through your orgasm until your body slumps against him.
rafe removed his fingers from your mouth before pulling his hand away from your cunt. he brought his arousal-covered fingers to his mouth, humming as he sucked them clean, “taste so fuckin’ sweet”.
“see? felt better than your pillow, huh?” he teased, bucking his hips, his hard cock grinding against the plump flesh of your ass, “feel that? s’all ’cause of you, sweet girl”.
“think it’s your turn to help me out now”.
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appygrey · 11 months ago
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couldnt remember what @crankgameplays’ last name so i called him “ethan nestor-babygirl”
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