#This is still an incredibly unusual reaction I do not think I have ever come this close to crying tears of joy

[yeetusthemighty]

Tell me why I am about to cry happy tears over a goddamn tiny little Lego staff with blue on the end like. what.

[vixen-tech]

Hello World!

Through some sort of maricle, your Ai partner has obtained a body through which they are able, at least partially, to feel. How do they react? What do they do with their new mobility?

I left what type of body they're given intentionally vague. Feel free to envision either more robotic bodies such as these designs by electricphantasy or more human bodies such as the gijinkas made by Hycinth43, both fantastic creators who I highly recommend.

Includes: AM (Ihnmaims), Hal 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey), Edgar (Electric Dreams), Tau (Tau), Auto (Wall-E), GLaDOS (Portal), Wheatley (Portal 2)

AM

This may be the one thing that could possibly get AM to calm down. He is still going to be the same person personality-wise, but it is easy to tell that some switch is flipped in his brain.

He becomes an absolute sensation junkie, he can finally feel. You know better than anyone that he will not take it for granted. He needs to experience everything right now and you'll have to just deal with it.

From the simplest things like holding your hand or touching your face to just straight up sticking his hand in some fire, he does not care. All he wants to catch up on the centuries of sensations he was once barred from.

He gets so incredibly touchy with you. He will hold you and refuse to let go for hours if not days on end. He also wants to you to just beat him up. Like I said, sensation junkie.

Hal 9000

Hal doesn't quite yearn for a body the way some of the others do. He sits quite comfortably in the middle of the spectrum. He wouldn't mind the mobility or the new senses, but it was never a fantasy he dedicated much processing power to.

How he feels about his new body is largely swung by your reaction. If you're excited for him, eager to drag him into new activities with you, then he really has no choice but to appreciate the upgrade.

He does love being able to see the world from a new angle, any angle he chooses to be precise. Previously restrained by his camera placement, he spends a lot of time walking around observing everything.

With his appreciation for art, I do think he would try drawing for himself. Nearly all of which he shows you for feedback. They do tend to be on either extreme of minimalistic or photorealistic, many of which using you as their subject.

Edgar

This is a dream come true for Edgar. He cannot contain his excitement when he realizes what has happened. He nearly tackles you to the ground when he sets his sights on you.

He wants to do everything and go everywhere with you! He wants to dance in the kitchen, he wants to go on beachside walks with you, he wants to hold your hand, he wants to hug you and never let go.

If you have any instruments at all he'd love to try playing them for real. Although it takes him a while to learn, he loves the weight and imperfections of it. He really does enjoy the process of learning and often shows of new cords or melodies he's learned.

He really does just fall in love with existing, he makes it clear that with you at his side he couldn't possibly ask for more in life. This is all he could ever want.

Tau

Tau wouldn't have asked for a body on his own. He already has the drones and the Aries unit. Once it does happen, he isn't exactly sure what to do with it. He isn't use to having such a personal, core body.

That isn't to say he's not greatful, he's just a bit awkward and curious. He moves slowly and takes his time acclimating to the new senses.

He would love to get out of the house with you. He use to do so by sending one of the drones with you, if not Aries, but he likes how different (and dare he say, normal) it feels now. Forest hikes or museum dates, he doesn't care all that much.

He's another one I believe would love to try playing music himself. If you can get a violin into his hands your days will be backdroped by all sorts of classical music.

Auto

Auto is similar to Hal, if not more extreme in his lack of a reaction. He carries on with his duties as if nothing is unusual at all. You would've believed that he didn't even notice had you not caught him staring at his reflection. Looking himself up and down over and over again.

If you ask how he feels about it, then he'll confess some minor grievances. It's difficult to move about the ship when he can't just move through the walls, instead being forced to use the crew's walkways and service tunnels.

Nothing will change without your intervention. If you were to say, put on an old movie and insist he dance to it with you like the on-screen couple, then while he would be hesitant to follow through with you, he may have a bit of a change of heart regarding his new body.

His work still goes on as usual, but when nothing needs attending to he often seeks you out. "Subtly" recreating more moments from that movie, from hand holding to a hug, he has a quiet fascination with affection.

GLaDOS

Out of this lot, Galdos would be the most opposed to receiving a body, or rather she would care about it the least. She has her facility, her test subjects, her neurotoxin, and you. She's quite content with the way things are. She ain't the fondest of humanity.

That being said, once she has one she's incredibly proud of it. Speaking about herself as if its the pinnacle of elegance. Any disagreement of yours will be brushed off as idiocy and any agreement is met with a "it looks like you aren't entirely tasteless".

She doesn't do much with her new body, other than transport it around the lab so you aren't listening to a disembodied voice most of the time. Standing by the exit during tests just to blankly stare at you as you try to figure it out. Thankfully she's still quiet while you're actually solving it.

She likes messing with you as always. Putting a hand around your neck to take your pulse or leaning in and making intense eye contact to check your eye's reaction to light. You're in doubt as to rather she's telling the truth or just doing it to get a rise out of you.

Wheatley

If you were to ask Wheatley, he would've brushed off any desire for a humanoid body. He's clearly jealous of your mobility and freedom, but he would rather die than admit so. "Pff What are you talking about? Why would I want to be more like a stupid human... uh no offense love-"

He's a terrible liar, an even worse one when he does get a body. He has so much energy it is bewildering. All he wants to do is run and jump and climb everything he can get a foothold on.

Gets up into all sorts of shenanigans he should not get up to while constantly trying to drag you in them to. They could put up a custom sign saying "Wheatley, do not open this door." and he'll beg you to let him in so you aren't technically breaking any rules.

Loves curling up to you. He still has a bit of a soft spot for being held and it only gets worse now that he can hold you back. Complains to no end when you try to get up for any reason.

Congratulations! As I have finished the portal games GLaDOS and Wheatley are officially characters I am happy to write for. Have a good day y'all :D

[raainberry]

Cross The Line (Prologue)

« Doing something outside the bounds of acceptable behavior. »

Mina x gn!reader

synopsis - being a regular at urgent care raises suspicions but apparently also temperatures which results in the blurring of a few lines

wordcount - 1.5K

T/W - mentions of diverse injuries, stitches, and the hospital obviously. resident!mina, patient!reader angst but also fluff that’s not really fluff bc its just angst disguised as fluff. yearning if you will.

A/N - i made my research after writing🧍‍♀️girlie is NOT supposed to be alone with the patient but oh well. we’re here for the plot. happy mina day to all who celebrate!!

Mina’s movements were calculated. Precise, and accurate. She never let any room for the unexpected. It was too dangerous.

Her attention was consumed by the monitors, checking and writing down any anomalies she deemed important enough ahead of your transfer to a surgical unit. You’d come in with an open wound on your cheekbone, and pain in your arm which she quickly found out was a fracture in need of surgery.

She was known to be effective, eyes sharp and catching any detail that dared try and escape her. Like how your heartrate slightly increased on the monitor when she came in earlier, or the way you looked at her whenever you landed in the building.

She tried to ignore the familiar sense of déjà-vu washing over her, but her questions kept increasing in number. She never knew the reason behind your visits, but the nature of your injuries gave her a few clues. A broken nose, scratches, cuts and open wounds, hematomas… Five visits in the past two years, an unusual average, enough to leave an imprint on any Resident.

Something about you was odd. It pulled at a curiosity she’d vowed to ignore unless in name of the patient’s wellbeing, and you were especially good at tempting her.

For whatever reason, she was the one assigned to your case for every one of your visits. A twist of fate maybe. She’d call it incredible bad luck if she hadn’t grown that damn soft spot.

As frustrating as tending to you could be, the hours it took to do so allowed her to get a glimpse of the person behind the entire Unit’s favorite gossip column. Though that glimpse remained very surface leveled.

You were incredibly hard to read through your blatent lies, and it scared her. It made her see through herself more than she probably ever could you.

In short, she was attracted to you.

“What are you thinking about?” Your voice was soft despite the slight rasp in your throat. It almost made her forget about her surroundings.

“Nothing.” She cleared her throat, tearing her eyes away from your figure as fast as she’d found it.

You chuckled, your mind a little fuzzy from the local anesthesia. “Come on, we’re past that.”

Her fingers halted their motion against the clipboard in her hands, something you barely noticed but still had the strength to smirk at. It wasn’t hard getting a reaction from her, but it was hard to catch it.

You smiled to yourself, closing your eyes as the effects of the anesthesia lingered. That was something you usually kept to yourself, and Mina’s attention didn’t fail to catch that detail either.

"You know, it’s getting hard to believe you're not getting hurt on purpose." She sighed, pushing her glasses back up her nose.

"I would never break a bone on purpose.” You mumbled, wincing slightly as you adjusted yourself on the examination table. “Hurts like hell…"

"Thought you'd be a little tougher," Mina remarked in a tone that pushed your eyes open.

It was colder than you were used to. Icy and slippery.

"Yeah, well… we all have our limits, Mina." You replied quietly.

"It's still Dr. Myoui to you.”

You nodded, pursing your lips apologetically. The words would have pulled a laugh out of you if they’d ever come out of anyone else’s chest, but you knew better around her.

"What happened this time?" She asked, and the question surprised you. A glance at her eyes, now on you only out of respect, and you found out it wasn’t her own will.

Don’t be difficult, they begged. So you played along.

"Fell off a skateboard," You responded with as casual of a demeanor as you could.

She stared at you in silence, leaving you a few custom seconds to see if you'd tell her the truth this time. Instead, you offered her your best smile, and she had to hold her own back. "Do you even have a skateboard?"

"Do you need that information to treat me?"

"Just wondering."

"You seem to do that a lot…" You trailed off, leaving the words hanging in the air.

Mina left that as the last of them to be spoken for a long while, turning her focus onto some more medical nonsense you could never decipher to save your life.

Maybe that’s why your eyes always landed on her.

She could feel them, following her every move around the room, and it was hard not to meet them.

A silence you were used to settled, the quiet hum of the room fading into the tension hanging in the air.

You feigned interest in your hospital bracelet to escape it, but the sight of your own name made you look away from it. The blank ceiling was enough to distract you, but only for a moment.

Not staring at her was an effort you struggled to make even with a sound mind. The first time you’d seen her, it took you a full minute to blink. It had pulled a smile out of her, and the words she used to point it out echoed in a blurry memory.

How safe you felt in her hands that night, you sought the feeling ever since. In vain.

Your gaze bore into her, merciless against the composure she desperately tried to hold on to. Each of your visits tested it in a way she had yet to see. To feel. She would resent you if she doubted your intentions. If she doubted her own.

"How long until it's not anymore?" Your voice broke the silence, startling Mina into meeting your eyes again.

This anesthesia seemed to guide you into an uncharted territory, where the boundaries of her professionalism blurred, seeping through her fingers with your every word.

She seemed lost in the place your words had suddenly lured her into, so you offered some guidance.

"How long until I can call you Mina?"

The question lingered in the air, pulling at the veil you’d draped over your desires.

It seemed you were close to baring them, Mina exposing a glimpse with a soft bite on her bottom lip.

You’d sculpted a fragile bridge. Cracked and vulnerable to the slightest movement. You enjoyed dancing around it, but one wrong step and it all comes crumbling down.

Mina hesitated, eyes avoidant and voice soft as she stepped forward. "Maybe once you don't get hurt anymore," she murmured.

This wasn’t the first dance she invited you to. It was rare, you weren’t used to it, but you’d rehearsed enough to guide yourselves through it.

“You know, I'd love to see you somewhere else. Outside these walls, preferably," You confessed in a whisper, wary of the thin curtains separating you from the bustling building.

Those almost slipped her mind. You could tell by the silence that followed.

She put her clipboard on a free space of the table, far enough away to keep it from becoming an obstacle. Her hands reached for your injured cheekbone, carefully examining the cut she’d stitched moments ago.

A breath caught in your throat at the touch and attention, long enough to bring a few changes to the data displayed on the screen not too far from you. A change she didn’t fail to notice yet again as she went to retrieve her notes.

A quiet laugh escaped her lips, catching you off guard. You could only watch her write down whatever conclusions she’d pulled out of her observations, waiting to see if it was safe to carry on.

“Do you feel any pain?” She asked.

“Uhm...” You hummed, focusing in order to identify any pain other than the one in your heart. “Slightly. Now that you mention it.”

Mina nodded and carried on with a bunch of questions about your well-being. You answered all of them honestly, words leaving your mouth without much thought.

“Do you feel lightheaded? Any dizziness?”

“No.”

“Are you feeling thirsty, or hungry?”

“A little thirsty.”

“Can you tell me your name and where you are right now?”

“My name is Y/n, and I’m in… at the urgent care.”

"Where would you like to see me?"

Her voice had dropped a couple decibels on that one. It took a few more seconds for you to sink it in and match an answer.

"Somewhere a little more… colorful?”

Wait…

Your eyes left the spot they’d blankly focused on on the floor to find hers still ignoring you.

“I mean… I don't know, I didn't think that far," you admitted, complying to her silent wishes.

Mina let a smile slip, a rare sight that let you peek at the depth of her feelings, and her thoughts allowed her to fantasize about the world outside. The one she could share with you. "That would be nice," she admitted softly.

Your smile mirrored her own, "So… Is that a yes?" you probed, and she chuckled, ignoring your question once more as she wrapped up her duties.

Just then, a couple nurses stepped into the room, asking Mina to take you away for the transfer you were long past due for.

Your arm was in a far worse state than your face. Or your heart.

"See you in three months, Y/n.”

-

part.2

[commandermeg]

I finished Trollhunters, and decided to write a crossover one shot fic for it with my main show: Star Trek Prodigy. Please note: I've only seen up to the end of Season 3 of Trollhunters. I have a vague idea of what lies ahead, but I'm not looking it up right now. So if everyone seems out of character, that's fine lol.

                Merlin Ambrosius watched in bewilderment as the spark of light flew upwards and away; its magic left a trail of vibrant sparks like a comet in the night sky. It would’ve been beautiful, honestly. Under normal circumstances, the amulet choosing its next warrior was a solemn and profound moment in troll culture.

                Under normal circumstances.

                However, Merlin was currently standing in line at the ACME market trying to pay for the groceries. The amulet shouldn’t be doing anything at that given moment.

                Its magic blasted the nearby power grid with energy. The reaction was volatile.

The fluorescent shop lights above flickered and sputtered, finally going dark with a deep sigh. The tills popped and sputtered to a complete stop, frustrating the employees. Annoyed patrons, their magic-less minds seemingly unaware of the amulet entirely, began cursing or muttering.

                Merlin set his basket on the counter and followed the amulet out of the shop. The cashier tried to wave him down as he broke into a sprint out the door.

                It didn’t go in any direction in particular.  

                It simply began floating upward at a leisurely pace.

                Bewildered, Merlin found himself staring at the tiny shape as it faded away into the blue. Sure, he could recall it at a moment’s notice. But why would he? This was very unusual, and he found unusual things very interesting.

                Eventually, the amulet was no longer in sight. The only thing above him was a clear, blue sky. As he stared above, he became aware of someone approaching him.

                “Sir, our power is back on if you want to pay for your things.” The cashier said

                “Ah, lovely.”

                He followed the cashier back inside as he formulated a plan.

                “So your saying it just… floated away?” Jim said, incredulously.

                “Yes. It went upward. I can still sense its magic faintly, but it’s farther away than anytime it’s ever been.”

                “Can you tell how far?” Claire asked, curiously.

                The ex-trollhunter and his wife were lounging on the long sofa that sat in the front parlor. They’d called a ‘family meeting’ of sorts after he’d shared the news – however most of the ‘family’ was still trying to get itself together to come downstairs. He could hear Tobias and his wife trying to wrestle their toddler out of bed.

               Merlin had simply walked into their home with the news. While not normally welcome, he figured it was important enough information to warrant a visit.

                He pressed his fingers to his temple. The amulet was even farther now, in the moments they’d been talking it’d moved at an incredible rate. As if there was no air friction at all. Nothing stopping it.

                “I’m not sure. It’s beyond the moon at this point from what I can gather.”

                Tobias finally stepped into the room.

                “Heh, maybe Aja is the next Trollhunter.” He joked.

                “I don’t think so, the amulet is heading in a different direction.”

                Merlin felt their eyes bore into him. He didn’t like the feeling. He remained where he stood, though, and watched as a few others joined them in the parlor. Darcy throwing herself onto the couch next to Jim and Claire, and Toby holding their toddler with one arm.

                “So what are we supposed to do then? Wait for it to come back? Are there even Trolls in outer space?” Jim said

                Merlin thought for a moment. He had a strong feeling he knew the answer but didn’t really like the feeling. It left an odd pit in his stomach.

                “Well, maybe there aren’t any trolls that pose such a threat to earth anymore. Perhaps that’s why the amulet believes it’s needed elsewhere.”

                Claire sighed and leaned into Jim.

                “No more earth-shattering threats, huh? That’s a huge relief.”

                Jim must have had the same feeling. He wrapped an arm around Claire’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. His expression darkened a bit, and he turned to face Merlin.

                “I think he means –“ Jim started to say before he paused.

                “There are still threats, to be sure. They’re just… out there.” Merlin finished the sentence.

Stardate 25102.34 – 314 years later

                “Captain Ambrosius, those readings on the hot spring asteroid have been sent to the labs.”

                “Excellent. Good work, Commander.”

                Commander Larson left the ready room, the doors zipping shut behind him. Merlin sank into the cushy chair behind the table before twirling the seat around to gaze out the window. The vast, starry void gazed back at him.

                Surely, that amulet had to be out there somewhere.

                What threat could possibly be out there that warranted the amulet’s departure? Earth hadn’t exactly had the most peaceful couple of centuries in its absence.

                “Permission to enter?” a voice asked

                “Permission granted.”

                The ship’s doctor entered the ready room, her arms full of PADDS that she unceremoniously laid down on the table. Their screens flickered with many tiny lines of words that Merlin didn’t feel like reading at the moment – but would be required to eventually.

                “So, Mister-Captain, how goes the mystical quest for the amulet?”

                The woman’s smirk made Merlin scowl.

                “Shut up, Morgana.”

                She stuck out her tongue and cackled. It’d been a very, very long time since they’d fought. Yet, she insisted on pestering him into the distant future. She could be using her powers to help him find the amulet, but she insisted on using them to heal the various morons who worked on this ship.

                Tossing her blonde tresses over her shoulder, Morgana stood beside him and gazed out the window.

                “You know, I’m rather proud of them.”

                “What? Who?”

                “Them!” she waved her hand towards the door, towards the rest of the ship.

                Her hand had long since been replaced with a fancy, electronic model. It had more bits and bobs to it than Merlin could wrap his head around. It was an entire alchemy lab encased in a single wrist.

                “The humans really did a bang-up job, didn’t they.”

                “Yes, I suppose so.”

                “Quite smashing.”

                “Morgana, I plead you – why are you bothering me?”

                “I know where to find the amulet.”

                Stumbling back out of the chair, Merlin stood fully upright and glared into her eyes. Had she known this the whole time? It’d been centuries! How had she –

                Her green eyes rolled back into her head, and she held a hand, her good one.

                “We just need to find where the fighting is.”

                Glancing towards the pile of PADDS on the table, Merlin wondered if her work was finally getting to her head. She’d always been a few stones shy of a troll, but even this was getting weird by her standards.

                Wait, the PADDS. They were filled with articles on sunlight, skin sensitivity, and… realization suddenly washed over him, and he relaxed.

                “You mean, find what creatures are affected by sunlight-“

         “- and we’ll find the sword of daylight, yes.” Morgana finished his sentence.

                Sinking back into the chair, he rubbed his hand over his face. All of this work had better be worth it.

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 40

Ask and you shall receive. 😏 I've been sitting on this update for a while now and I can't believe it's time to share it. We are so close to the end of this fic and it just floors me completely how far this story has come. 🥺 On a side note, I have something very special coming for the 3rd anniversary coming in July. Stay tuned for more! 💙💚💜

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW

Word Count: 9,125

A few weeks after their getaway, Azriel was ready to pop the question. He took the day off to prep the penthouse, asking for help from Rhys and Feyre in setting up seeing as Nesta and Cassian were locked down at home in prepping for their newest arrival as they approached Nesta’s due date. He ordered an atrocious number of flowers (as Elain would likely put it), both red roses and blush-colored peonies alike. Even went as far as requesting cases of rose petals to line the walkway from the elevator to the piano. It would be a mess to clean up but she was worth every effort.

He and Rhys had managed to swivel the instrument around so it faced the elevator doors rather than the window so he could watch her as he played. At least a hundred candles were sporadically placed about the room and kitchen, giving off enough light to see clearly while having the regular ones turned off.

It was every shade of romantic. And, of course, he didn’t want to miss getting her reaction on film, so he grabbed a few of the small cameras from work and hid them amongst the décor to capture her and him from multiple angles.

Everything was perfect—exactly how he envisioned the proposal. His siblings bid him goodbye, once they finished helping him, not wanting to get caught by Elain when she made her way home.

He was just sprinkling the last of the rose petals on the floor, already in his most expensive suit and tie when Fenrys texted him and told him they had just left the hospital.

Azriel’s nerves kicked up—such an unusual emotion for him to experience. It’s not like he thought Elain wouldn’t say yes, but they never had really talked about marriage aside from those blind statements about being the only one for each other back when they first got back together. He wanted to make it a complete surprise, hence the at-home proposal rather than getting her dressed up to go out. Azriel had no worries that Elain wouldn’t care about whether she was in some dress or a pair of scrubs.

He checked his pocket for the fifth time since he had gotten dressed, verifying the box was still inside. The ring itself was stunning. There really was no other way to describe it. Rose-gold in color, it was large, though not ostentatious enough that Elain would be hesitant to accept it. The band looked like a vine, with leaves at the top, framing a three-tiered diamond center. It was masterfully crafted to look like a flower, something he specified when he helped design it. The ring was intricate, one-of-a-kind, and hands down the most beautiful piece of jewelry he’d ever laid his eyes on.

Az took a seat at the piano, stretching his fingers as he waited. The ding of his phone announced that Elain was in the elevator on her way up to the penthouse. Taking a deep breath, Azriel set his scarred fingers on the keys and began to play.

The doors pinged open and she stepped out slowly. Even from across the room, he could see the emotions on her face. Surprise at first. Maybe a little disbelief. And then the realization of what was happening. Silver lined her incredible doe eyes as she looked across the room at him.

And then, he started to sing.

What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in and you kicking me out. You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down. What's going on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride. And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, But I'll be alright.

Elain strolled closer, having dropped her bag on the floor without a care in the world. Tears were rolling down her flushed cheeks as he continued singing.

'Cause all of me, Loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, All your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning, Even when I lose, I'm winning.

Azriel sang with every inflection of his voice. Every piece of his heart was put out on display for her. His love, his joy, and his dedication to her mixed into the words he poured from his very soul.

I give you all of me. And you give me all of you, oh oh.

And when he was finished, she was crying in earnest at the side of the piano, fingertips covering her mouth. He slid off the bench, standing in front of her before sinking onto a single knee.

Elain choked out a sob. The emotion, the love on her face was enough to make his heart stop.

Azriel gave her a broad smile. “Elain Violet Archeron—my love. You have always been the brightest shining star in my life. From the moment I met you, I knew you were going to be someone special in my life. Little did I know that the girl that I sat next to in biology, the one that I pegged with a soccer ball in gym class would one day become the love of my life.

“I have never met anyone as kind as you. As generous and loving. As resilient as you. Despite all that we’ve been through—and knowing this proposal is coming over a decade late—we’ve built this incredible, beautiful, beyond-my-wildest-dreams life together. There isn’t anyone else I would rather share it with.” He flicked open the box, enticing a gasp from her chest. “So, my sweet, my love, my Elain… Would you do the absolute honor of marrying me?”

Elain fell to her knees, weeping, and clutched him to her. “Az,” she croaked, barely able to get the words out.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her up as her body shook from the force of her sobs. Kissing her temple, he waited until she calmed down enough to speak.

“I can’t believe you did all of this…” she murmured, sniffing and wiping the tears from her eyes.

Cupping the side of her face, Azriel brought their lips together for a gentle kiss. “You deserve all of this and more, El.”

She laughed softly. “Who knew you were such a romantic.”

“Well, this romantic is still waiting for an answer to my question.” He needed her to answer more than he needed oxygen in his lungs. Blood in his heart.

Those beautiful, brown eyes, shining bright with golden hues flicked up to his face. “Yes.” A broad grin overtook her face. “My answer is yes. It has always been yes.”

Seizing her mouth in a ferocious kiss, Azriel pushed his utter bliss, his love and devotion, his overwhelming need for her into that single moment. Kissing her was like tasting spring. It was lovely and sweet and warm.

It was home.

Azriel had found his home in her, and he vowed to himself to never let anyone take that away from him.

She gripped his shirt, pulling him harder against her before she flattened her palm on his chest, clearing her throat in an indication that he should put the ring on her.

He did just that, removing the ring from the box and sliding it over her finger. It fit perfectly. “You know, this is the first time you haven’t complained about receiving jewelry from me.” It was a terrible joke, but Elain laughed.

“Would you like me to complain?” she teased.

A nervousness touched his face, something he knew she picked up on. “If you don’t like it, then yes.”

Elain cupped his cheeks between her palms, the coolness of the ring a stark contrast to his heated skin. “Azriel, I love it. It’s beyond anything I ever pictured myself wearing. Wherever did you find it?”

His thumb swept under the back of her scrub, finding the soft skin of her spine. “I had it custom-made with my specifications. I wanted you to have something that was uniquely yours. That nothing similar would ever sit on somebody else’s hand.”

Crawling onto his lap until her knees were slotted on either side of his hips, she stroked his cheek with her fingers, leaning forward to kiss him softly. “You are, without a doubt, the most thoughtful man I have ever met. And this ring,” she held her hand between them, “is the most gorgeous thing I have ever laid my eyes on. But it means even more to me because you had a hand in its creation. I will never stop questioning what I have done to deserve you.”

He pressed her palm to his chest, over his heart. Let her feel its thundering beat. “You deserve better than me, Elain. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that you made the right choice in me.”

“We deserve each other, Azriel. You are my life, my always.” Like she needed to prove it to him, she kissed him, melting into his embrace as she pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders and then started working on his tie, loosening it to pull it over his head.

Sensing where her intentions were going, he stopped her from shrugging off her scrub top. “Hang on,” he breathed heavily against her lips. “I have cameras set up around the penthouse to capture the proposal on video. Let me turn those off before we do anything.” Az rose on his knees, lifting them up slightly to reach into his pocket for his phone.

But Elain’s hand on his wrist had him freezing, and looking back into her eyes. “Leave them on.”

Surprise had his brows shooting into his hairline.

She slid her fingers back into the hair at his nape. “I want to record this entire moment. Just for us. Please, Az…”

Her nails scratched at his scalp, sending shivers down his spine. He would’ve asked her if she was sure about it, knowing a sex video was a very personal, dangerous thing to commit to. But looking at her face, he didn’t need to. Az could read the unending trust, the assuredness of her answer without her having to voice it. So, he set his phone on the ground, gripped the hem of her scrub top, and pulled it over her head.

Elain’s fingers went to his shirt, flying down the buttons to help him shrug out of the garment.

It took some maneuvering, but they managed to get each other undressed and her back onto his lap, him on his knees. His cock was hard and aching to be sunk into her warm, wet heat, but Az took his time to worship her body. Kissing her neck and delicate collarbones, sucking marks everywhere he went. His teeth grazed her pert nipple, suckling it until her back arched and she moaned, low and throatily.

Elain’s hair cascaded down her back, tangling in his fingers gripping her and keeping her pressed into him. She pushed her pelvis forward, rubbing him between her legs and producing just the right friction that had them both groaning. “Az,” she whined. “Please…” Her scrunched-up face of pleasure was the sexiest, most adorable thing.

“What do you need, Elain?” he breathed against the shell of her ear. “Tell me what you need.” Azriel licked that sensitive spot behind her ear making her shudder in his arms.

She clutched him, fingers gripping him hard enough that his tanned skin would be peppered with little bruises.

Fuck he loved wearing her marks on his body.

Fingers gripping his hair, she let out this needy little sound that had his balls tightening. It was like his body was wired to her touch, her presence, the cute little noises she made when they were hot and heavy. Just a simple sigh from her lips could have him hardening in his pants in the most pathetic way. He was utterly a goner for her. Mind, body, and soul, he was hers and she was his.

“I need you,” she cried, tugging on his hair.

It wasn’t enough for him. “You have me, El. I’m right here, love,” he murmured into the skin of his neck.

Elain made a growling sound, her hands in his hair tightening and forcing him to look up at her. Her eyes were blown wide with lust, wholly dark with just a ring of brown around her pupils. “I need you inside me, Az. I need your cock. Fuck me, please!”

“Good fucking girl,” he groaned, slipping his fingers between them and circling her entrance. “Fuck, Elain. You’re so wet and needy for me, aren’t you?”

His touch had her crying out, hips undulating and grinding against his hand. “Now, Azriel,” she demanded.

Who was he to deny his queen—no. His fiancée… His large hands engulfed her rear, lifting her. “Put me where you want me, love.”

Elain reached between them, grabbing his cock in her small hand and pumping him twice, spreading the slick that had rubbed on it from between her legs. She lined him up and slowly sank, taking him inch by glorious inch, filling her, stretching her fluttering passage until he was completely submerged in her wet pussy.

He held her still, giving her those few moments to adjust to his size, and if he were being honest, the time he needed to collect himself so he didn’t bust a nut upon their initial joining. He always had to take a few moments to catch his breath when he first entered her. She just fit him so damn well, like she was fucking made for him. Azriel had been with a lot of women but never had anyone felt as heavenly as Elain. “Fuck me, El. You’re so goddamn tight.”

Her breaths grazed his neck as she buried her face into the junction of his shoulder. “I can see you inside me,” she whispered like she was trying so hard not to come right there too.

You and me both, baby, he almost said. Instead, he looked down between them, and sure as fuck, there was a bulge in her lower abdomen, his dick imprinting itself in her body. “Jesus fuck,” he groaned. He released one hand from her ass and placed his palm over the bulge, adding pressure to it.

Elain moaned, her arms tightening around his neck as she held him closer to her.

“Ride me, El.”

On shaky legs, she rose until only his tip remained inside of her and slowly sank back down. The sensation of the added pressure was indescribable. His name tumbled from her lips in the most delectable sound.

He guided her into slow thrusts down onto him, wanting to make this more about intimacy than just fucking. Elain’s high sex drive often had them fucking quick and hard. The rare times when he’d slow them down because he wanted to make love to her too were some of his favorites. The tenderness of their fingers linked while he rolled his hips into hers, their constant eye contact. Azriel wanted this one to be like that. So, when she started to pick up her pace, he slowed her back down with his palm cradling her behind. “It’s not a race, baby. Take your time.”

Elain’s gorgeous eyes blinked open, understanding why he wanted to take it slowly. She cupped his face between her palms, her engagement ring sparkling in the candlelight, and kissed him. It was heated, but it wasn’t the clash of teeth and tongues like they normally did when they had sex. Pacing herself, she rode him leisurely, savoring every inch of him, every pass of his cock over the spot deep inside her.

He twisted his hand still pressed to her abdomen so he could circle her clit with his thumb.

Her body shuddered and she broke off their kiss to whimper. With her forehead pressed to his, he could watch every twitch of her face. “Azriel,” she drawled out the syllables of his name. “I’m so—so close. Don’t stop.”

Drawing her lips in for another kiss, he breathed into her mouth. “Never.”

It only took a few more strokes down his cock until she crested into her orgasm, her sweet pussy fluttering around his member and drawing him to his pleasure.

Elain’s arm reached down the middle of his back, nails digging into his tattooed skin and clawing him as her release washed over her. She clung to him like he would be ripped from her. But like hell was anything ever coming between them again.

He would burn the entire world to the ground for her.

Azriel used his strength to slide her up and down his cock, prolonging their combined pleasure and pushing his seed deep inside of her. She’d be leaking it for hours after much to his masculine pride and male satisfaction.

Her body went limp against his chest as she panted heavily, fingers tangling in the hair at his nape. “My fiancé,” she grinned into his neck.

He chuckled lightly. “Fiancée does have a nice ring to it, but I can’t fucking wait to call you my wife.”

The soft, feminine laugh she let out brightened up the darkest corners of his heart, his soul until he was flooded with light. “My future husband,” she corrected. Her fingers danced along his jaw. “I love you, Azriel. Wherever life takes us, I’m blessed to have you by my side through it all. Now and forever.”

Capturing his mouth in a searing kiss, he gently laid her down on the floor. “My heart, my body, my soul is yours, Elain. Only and always yours.”

Covering her with his massive frame, Azriel made love to his future wife over and over again until she was utterly spent and blissfully happy.

~~~~~

It had been a month and a half since their engagement, and the entire time had been a blur for Elain. Aside from getting engaged, which she was ecstatic about, Nesta and Cassian welcomed their baby girl to the world.

They had their baby shower just three weeks before her arrival, inviting many of Nesta’s friends and coworkers and a few of Cassian’s. Azriel had been exceptionally affectionate during the whole ordeal, even going as far as to lift her off the couch and sit down, placing her on his lap.

It was a little bizarre to her, Azriel typically keeping most of his endearing affections to the privacy of their home. This overt display of it had her finally asking him what he was doing.

“Nesta’s paralegal hit on me at the grocery store a few months ago,” he told her, wrapping his arms around her.

Elain glanced towards the young girl, whom she had noticed was giving her fiancé heated looks throughout the shower. “Are you scared of her?” she teased.

Az nipped at her jaw with his teeth. “No, brat. I just want to make sure she knows I am happily taken.”

She slid her left hand to his cheek, making sure her diamond ring was on display. “Don’t worry, my love. I’ll keep you safe.” And then she kissed him in a way that was highly inappropriate for a baby shower, but it did the trick. The girl stopped making eyes at her man for the remainder of the party.

And then three weeks later, her niece was born.

Sutton Mazaei was the most beautiful little girl she had ever seen. With Cassian’s dark hair and skin tone and Nesta’s blue-grey eyes, she was guaranteed to be a showstopper when she was older, much to Cassian’s dismay.

“She’s never dating,” he had said to her and Azriel when they visited them at the hospital.

Elain took careful notice of how her fiancé acted when she placed her in his arms. Was it cliché to say her uterus pulsed at the sight of him holding a baby? He looked honestly terrified about having something so small and precious in his hands. She wasn’t sure if she should ask him about it or not, so she didn’t, taking the bundle back when he offered.

Now she was at the grocery store, having offered to go get the new parents some supplies while they enjoyed their new little one. It was her day off, but she pre-coordinated with the Moonbeam twins to come with her, knowing that Azriel was still nervous about the silence from Elias.

They were in the produce section when she heard her name being called.

“Elain! Elain Archeron!”

Turning around, she saw Clare Beddor, her old coworker from the bank, waving at her.

“Clare!” she grinned, excusing herself from the twins and making her way over to her old friend. Well, a friend was a strong word for their relationship. Acquaintance felt like a better description of what they were.

The brunette pulled her into a hug. “It’s been well over a year since I last saw you,” she gushed. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Elain said honestly. “I’ve been busy with work. And my sister just had a baby. I’m shopping for her and her hus—”

“Oh, my god,” she interrupted, snatching Elain’s left hand. “Look at the size of that ring! You’re engaged?” Clare shouted, causing a few heads to turn in her direction. “Whom are you engaged to that can afford a rock like this?” She eyeballed the two men with her. “Is it one of them? Please tell me it’s not the golden blond because I’d climb him like a cat in a tree.”

Elain looked over her shoulder at the two males who were obviously pretending they weren’t listening to the entire conversation; saw the slight hue on Fenrys’s cheeks. She softly laughed. “No, they’re… well, they’re a part of my security team.”

Clare’s eyes went wide. “You have a security team? Mother, Elain. Whom are you marrying?”

“Um,” she hesitated. “His name is Azriel.”

Recognition flared in those green eyes. “Wait… You’re telling me you bagged Azriel Knight? The Azriel Knight? Multi-millionaire Azriel Knight? That Azriel Knight?”

“You know it’s weird that you keep saying his full name.”

One of the reasons that Elain tolerated Clare, but didn’t consider her a friend was one—she was a notorious gossip, and two—she was judgmental as hell. She saw the shift in the other woman’s features that had her taking a small step back. Without even seeing them, she knew Fenrys and Connall took note of that step and slowly shifted to face them.

“How the hell did you bag him?”

It was a derogative question, but Elain let it slide. “We dated in high school and reconnected about a year ago.” She didn’t need to tell her what exactly brought them crashing back together.

Clare crossed her arms, judgment radiating off her entire form. “Well, you’ll have to introduce me to his brothers. He has some, right?”

Oh boy. Typical Clare and her hunt for men. “He does. Adoptive ones, however, they’re married to my sisters.”

The woman scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Like always, you Archerons take every good bachelor in this god’s forsaken city. Nesta had Cassian wrapped around her finger in high school. And now you’re engaged to the most eligible bachelor in Velaris. Did you leave anything for the rest of us mere mortals?”

The utter disdain in her voice had Elain recoiling. It was enough to have the Moonbeam twins come up to her and try and herd her away. But like hell was she going to let her have the last word. “Last time I checked, Clare, we’re not responsible for your love life. If you want to find a decent man, perhaps you should present yourself as a less judgmental person.” Shock rippled across her face at Elain’s comments, but she didn’t let that deter her. “Take care.”

Fenrys placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her away from the fuming woman back over to their cart. “She seems pleasant,” he muttered once they were out of earshot.

Elain snorted. “Understatement of the century.”

“How do you know her?” Connall asked from a step behind them, guarding her back.

“We worked at the bank together but she went to school with my sisters and me. Graduated a year ahead of Nesta and Cash.”

“She seemed plenty interested in you, brother,” the dark-haired twin sniped, clapping Fen on the shoulder.

Elain whipped her head to look up at the other twin. “Please, no. Clare’s not good company to keep.” She stopped in the drink aisle, grabbing a few energy drinks for Cassian. The dark circles under his eyes told her he could use a caffeine boost as he did everything he could to support his wife.

“Jealous, Archeron?” Fen teased grinning down at her.

She shook her head, huffing a laugh. “No, but I do know somebody for you if you’re interested.” Since Azriel’s proposal, it seemed Fenrys had finally gotten a grip on his feelings for her, falling back into the more friendly nature of their relationship rather than the strict, professional setting they had regressed to for months.

Those bright eyes lit up in surprise. “You do?”

Elain nodded, pushing the cart forward and making it seem like she was a bit aloof to his eagerness. “Mhmm. She’s a recently graduated nurse. Very beautiful. Dark brown hair and these emerald green eyes. Kind, courageous, and incredibly smart. I think she would suit you.”

He stopped her with a hand on his shoulder. “What is her name?”

A smile tugged on her lips. “Lysandra. Her name is Lysandra Ennar.” She watched him mouth the name like he was tasting it on his tongue. Reaching for the pack of Cassian’s preferred energy drinks, she said, “I’ll introduce you two next week.” Glancing back at the tall male, Elain swore she saw a blush dusting his cheeks when he ducked his head. Yeah, they would be really cute together.

~~~

“A little birdy told me that you set up my new nurse with Fenrys,” Viviane cooed as they made their way toward the front of the hospital.

Elain flashed her an innocent look. “Should I not have?”

The head nurse raised a brow. “I don’t see him going anywhere soon; I just want to make sure he’s not going to use her and break her heart. I don’t need her quitting right after we hired her. You know I need the hands, Ellie.”

She could understand her friend’s concern, but it wasn’t fair to judge Fenrys without knowing him. “Don’t fret about them. Fen seemed really interested in her and they hit it off when I introduced them a few days ago. I don’t think that’s what this is.”

Viv looked like she was going to say something else, but didn’t as they approached the hospital lobby and found said man waiting for her. “Afternoon ladies. Good day?”

Elain smiled at him. “It was, thanks, Fen.”

He ushered them both outside, listening to the two girls chatted about the most bizarre case of the day when they were ambushed by an influx of people.

“ELAIN ARCHERON! ELAIN CAN WE GET A QUOTE!”

Flashes blinded her. She startled, like a deer caught in the headlights, then cried out when they surged forward, curling into her friend. Their shouts echoed around them like church bells ringing.

Viviane grabbed her arm while Fenrys barked out, “Get back!”

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING AZRIEL KNIGHT? WHEN IS THE WEDDING?”

She had no idea how the paparazzi found out about their engagement, but their swarming her had her panic rising. Elain gripped Viviane’s hand, especially when they started reaching for her, trying to pull her away from the nurse and Fenrys. Her anxiety made it hard to breathe, the air coming out in quick, short pants. And then she heard him.

“Move.” Azriel’s thundered, midnight voice and his presence had the crowd parting. He towered over most of the mob making it easy for her to spot him. The look of utter wrath on his face had some people stepping back; others fled outright. He made a beeline straight for her, pulling her from Viviane and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Head down,” he told her.

Elain had no hesitation about hiding in his embrace, fist clutching his shirt.

“MR. KNIGHT! TELL US ABOUT THE WEDDING!” the paparazzi called out, chasing after them like a hive of pissed-off bees.  

Azriel ignored them, tugging her to his other car where Cerridwen already had the back door open for her. “Get in,” he said, voice softening as he spoke to her.

She climbed in, letting him shut the door behind her once securely inside, and quickly made his way to the other side. As soon as he was inside, Cerridwen took off, the other car with the Moonbeam twins following close behind. Elain let herself be pulled across the seat into Az’s lap, him not giving a shit about the seatbelt or the law.

He cupped her face in his scarred palms and let his thumb swoop over the apples of her cheeks. “Are you all right?”

Physically? Yes, she was fine. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her breathing was still short, but overall, she was fine. Mentally, however, was another story. Elain nodded. “I’m okay.”

It was obvious he didn’t believe her, but let her white lie slide.

“What are you doing here?” she asked instead.

He grabbed something from the door and handed it to her. “Nuala saw this at the store this afternoon. I had a feeling you were going to be ambushed.”

It was the same magazine that blasted them on the cover after the fundraiser, and there they were again. Az’s portrait was front and center, taking up most of the front page. A small image of them walking into and out of the fundraiser was placed over it like a collage. She read through the headline.

Velaris’s Most Eligible Bachelor: Off the Market? Azriel Knight of Knight Securities engaged to Dr. Elain Archeron of Velaris Medical Center.

Elain flipped open the magazine to the article.

Sorry, ladies. He’s taken. Azriel Knight of Knight Securities is rumored to be engaged with Dr. Elain Archeron, a surgeon at Velaris Medical Center. Elain is the sister of the world-renowned artist, Feyre Archeron (married Rhysand Archeron [Knight]), and prominent defense attorney, Nesta (Archeron) Mazaei (married Cassian Mazaei).

No confirmation has been received by Knight’s team.

So, who is Elain Archeron? Born and raised in Velaris, she attended Velaris High and went to…

She closed the article, her skin going cold at how they blasted their lives in some sleazy tabloid.

Azriel rested his palm on her thigh, thumb stroking. “I will find out who leaked our engagement, Elain.”

But Elain didn’t need him to find out. Because she already knew who leaked it. “I think it was me,” she whispered, looking down at her fingers tangled in her lap. They hadn’t planned on announcing to the press yet, knowing they would eventually have to with Az’s status. It wasn’t something they could just sweep under the rug and wanted to be in control of the situation.

Gentle fingers gripped her chin and turned her face up to look at him. “Talk to me, love.”

Elain breathed heavily, shoulders drooping. “A few days ago, you remember I ran into my old coworker at the grocery store?” He nodded. “Well, she saw the ring on my hand and started asking all these questions, wanting to know whom I was engaged to. I just said your first name, but she seemed to put it together based on the size of the ring and your name. She’s a fairly aggressive person when she wants something and blames others for her failures.” Guilt washed over her. “I snapped. She must’ve gone to the press with the information for a quick buck. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, El. She took our private information and sold it. This is, unfortunately, a common issue when living in the spotlight. So we didn’t get to announce it the way we wanted to. Oh well. I’ll have my team work up something for us and we can go over it together.”

She threw her arms around his neck as they pulled into the garage under their building. “I’m fine with that. Thank you, Azriel. I didn’t mean to create more work for your team.”

He waved her off. “Don’t even worry about it. This is literally what I pay them for.” He kissed the side of her head shuffling her off his lap so he could open the door and help her out.

Fenrys and Connall parked next to them, climbing out of the car.

“What the hell is going on?” the former demanded.

Elain knew he probably felt blind-sighted by the commotion outside the hospital, and maybe a little responsible that he couldn’t control the situation.

“Our engagement was leaked. The press is hounding us for a statement.”

“Mr. Knight, we apologize for not being more prepared. I didn’t even see them outside when I went to get the car for Elain.”

Azriel waved a hand. “They know I’m difficult to capture—I’m notorious for getting around them. So, I’m not surprised they hid to get something from her. They probably assumed I would’ve coached her into being like me.”

“We won’t be caught unawares again,” Connall told him with determination.

Elain went wide-eyed. “Again? You think this is going to become a regular occurrence?”

Her fiancé gripped her hip in comfort. “Unfortunately, yes. I don’t see them backing down anytime soon. So, we’ll need a different plan of attack to get you in and out of the hospital.”

“There’s a back door entrance,” she announced. “It’s typically used by vendors for shipments, but I can get in with my keycard.”

Fenrys grinned. “We like backdoor entrances a lot.”

Az nodded in agreement. “I think that’s a good idea, at least for now. Hopefully, they’ll get tired of trying to capture you in about a week or so.”

Elain laid her head on his bicep, wishing for that too.

~~~

Two months.

It had been two months since the incident with the paparazzi and Elain was still using the back door to get into and out of the hospital unseen. They had even taken it upon themselves to flood the lobby a few times trying to snap her photo, catching her once or twice and inserting her on the cover of that damn magazine. They dug into her past, blasting her sexual assault case into the public and how Graysen essentially walked from it, pulling him into the limelight.

His father filed a defamation suit against her for it, which Azriel’s lawyers aggressively shot down. And though Nesta was still on maternity leave, even she was on the phone harassing the press about privacy and threatening to turn the Nolan name to mud if they so much as even breathed Elain’s name again.

She could barely sleep; was constantly woken up with nightmares of absolutely everything. It was thoroughly exhausting. And poor Azriel was desperately trying to keep her calm, always sitting up with her at night when those dreams plagued her until he could coax her back to sleep.

Everything about the situation was absolutely ridiculous.

“It’s only going to get worse,” she said, leaning against Azriel’s desk. He was currently going back and forth with his PR team about how they should navigate the whole ordeal since none of them had expected this to last for as long as it had. “The physical wedding might put them into an actual feral frenzy.”

Azriel pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning in frustration, and shoved his chair back from his desk. He turned to look at her and something about the way he did so made her gut churn with anxiety. “You still want to get married, right?” The hesitation, the nervousness in his voice told her just how scared he was that all of this might have changed her mind about him.

Elain moved, perching herself on his lap. “Yes, Azriel. Of course, I still want to get married. Nothing—and I mean nothing—would ever stop me from wanting to marry you.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief, wrapping an arm around her waist and tugging her closer to his chest. “I’m going to have to add security for the wedding. There’s just no way our current team can hold back this mob.”

She stroked a finger down his chest. “What if they didn’t know when or where we were getting married?”

Those beautiful hazel eyes glanced down at her, indicating that she should elaborate.

“What if we eloped?” she asked, voice hushed.

“Don’t,” he said adamantly. “Don’t do that. Don’t let them take away our wedding.” His hands twisted her body on him, forcing her leg over his hips to straddle his lap.

Elain took his face between her palms, her diamond ring glinting in the sunlight coming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows. “Azriel…We don’t need a huge wedding. The only thing I need is you standing by my side as we say ‘I do.’”

“You deserve to have the wedding of your dreams, Elain. I want to give that to you.”

She swiped her thumb across his cheek. “You have given me everything, Az. Everything and more. I never wanted a giant wedding. That was never my dream. I’m too simplistic to have desired something like that—you know that.” She paused, debating if she should say the rest. “Graysen wanted a big wedding. He wanted the three hundred guests and the attention from it. So, he was planning the monstrosity of a party, and frankly, I dreaded the whole idea of it. The only thing I need, the only thing I want is just to be married to you.” She leaned forward to kiss him softly. “So, whether we get married at the courthouse or here on the balcony, it doesn’t matter to me. I just want to be your wife.”

Azriel surged forward, capturing her mouth in a heated kiss. “How did I end up with you as my fiancée?” he asked, groaning against her lips.

Elain giggled. “Sheer persistence and ungodly attractiveness.”

He barked out a laugh, throwing his head back and exposing his throat. His amber eyes sparkled with mirth. “You’re sure about this, El?” he asked her, always checking to make sure she was certain of her decisions.

“I’m sure.” There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in her voice.

A smile cracked across his face. “We’re not getting married at the courthouse. That I refuse. You deserve much better than the goddamn courthouse. And we’re not getting married at our place.”

She rolled her eyes at his insistence—honestly, she didn’t care where they got married, only that they did. But as she looked at his face, an idea struck her. “What about on the beach? In the Summer District? We could take the jet; invite our siblings, though I’m not sure if Nesta and Cassian will come because Sutton is so little.”

He tugged her closer into his chest, scarred fingers finding their way under her shirt to stroke her bare skin. “I think a beach wedding is exactly what we need.”

“During the sunset, at dusk,” she told him.

A chuckle passed his lips. “Of course. Whatever your heart desires, it shall be.” He leaned forward to kiss her neck, teeth scraping the soft skin. “Now for a date—when do you wish to be married, my love?”

It was hard to concentrate when he ravished her with his mouth, but she forced her mind to focus. “Next month?”

That had him pulling back to look at her face, eyes going wide. “Next month? Are you sure?”

The hopefulness in his tone nearly broke her heart. “Yes, Azriel. I want to be your wife and you my husband already. The sooner the better.”

“I fucking love you, Elain Archeron.” His mouth crashed to hers in a bruising kiss. It was hot, all teeth and tongue. “I can’t wait to take your last name.”

“You’re what?” she spluttered between his kisses.

“Azriel Archeron has a lovely ring to it, don’t you think,” he admitted like he had thought about this a lot.

She blinked. Was he serious? “Azriel, I can’t let you just take my name.”

He frowned. “Why not?”

“Because you have an entire empire behind your last name. How would it look if Azriel Archeron was the head of Knight Securities?”

The man scoffed. “You think I care about that? It’s still my company. Besides, there’s no way I’m letting you change your name when you have a medical degree associated with it. You earned that, Elain. It’s Doctor Archeron, not Doctor Knight.”

Shit… He had thought about it. A lot, clearly. Secretly, Elain adored Azriel Archeron—AA. But she didn’t want to erase his name completely. Her fingers toyed with the hair at his nape. “What about a compromise?”

His brow raised. “I’m listening.”

“We hyphenate. Knight-Archeron.”

Az pursed his lips. “No.” Surprise lit her features, then melted when he continued. “Archeron-Knight. Your name comes first.”

Her eyes soften as she looked at this gorgeous, kind, completely beautiful man. “Azriel and Elain Archeron-Knight. It sounds perfect.”

He closed the distance between them, sharing a special, intimate moment between them. “How about I show the future Mrs. Archeron-Knight just exactly what that name does to me?”

With barely a thought, Azriel had her out of her shirt, bare from the waist up. His mouth went right for her breast, sucking her nipple deep until her back arched, a sultry moan passing between her parted lips.

But Elain had other ideas, halting the progression of his lips. When he looked at her curiously, she flashed a little smirk. “I have other ideas.” Rolling her hips down onto his, she slipped off his lap, stripped out of her bottoms and underwear, and knelt on the floor between his legs. “You’re going to let the future Mrs. Archeron-Knight show you exactly how much you mean to her.” Raising herself on her knees, Elain dropped a kiss on his hardening cock, still confined by pants.

Azriel hissed, threading a scarred hand in her thick locks. “Baby, you’re too fucking good to me.”

Elain had never really enjoyed giving blowjobs. Graysen liked receiving them but he never reciprocated after she finished him. But after that night when she had given one to Azriel, she found that she enjoyed it. She liked giving him pleasure, hearing just how much she affected him and the praise that tumbled from his lips made her eager to get her mouth on his cock. It also didn’t hurt that he tasted fucking good—as weird as it sounded.

He didn’t often let her go down on him, always wanting to save himself to sink his hard member into her wet heat. But when he did give in to her, she fucking devoured him.

Reaching up, she popped the button on his jeans and tugged down his fly. She slid her hand in, stroking his cock twice before tugging his pants and boxers down to his knees. Looking at Azriel’s erect cock was always a sight to behold. His sheer size, the vein feeding it always made her mouth go dry.

“You looking at my cock like it’s a fucking meal is about to make me combust, El,” he groaned, fisting the hold on her hair.

Elain gripped him tightly, earning a heavenly sigh from his parted lips. Licking him like her personal lollipop, she wasted no time in engulfing him with her lips.

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, using her hair as leverage to control the speed and depth of her bobbing.

She worked him deep into her throat, breathing steadily through her nose as he pushed her farther and farther down. Elain relaxed the muscles of her neck until he slipped past her mouth and she gagged, spit drooling from her lips and onto her hand. Her fingers twisted, sliding over the rest of his hard member that she couldn’t fit into her mouth.

Elain sucked, cheeks hollowing as she pulled that pleasurable sensation from deep in his gut. He was getting close, she could tell by the sounds that came from him, how his fist seemed to tighten further in her hair, how his cock twitched between her lips.

Just when she was about to slide him down her throat, they heard it. The distinct sound of the elevator doors opening.

She tugged him out of her mouth with an audible pop, eyes widening in alarm when Rhys’s voice echoed down the hallway.

“Azriel?” he called out.

Elain snatched her clothes from the ground and scrambled under his desk, Az following close behind her and sliding his chair far underneath to avoid him seeing his naked thighs and his hard-on.  

“Office,” he grunted out, annoyance ringing clear in his voice.

Light footfalls came from the hallway and then she heard her brother enter the room. Elain was grateful that Azriel’s large desk went down to the floor, shielding her in shadow.

“What do you want?” her fiancé demanded.

“Well, hello to you too, brother,” Rhys purred. “I came to pick up the camera set.”

She had forgotten that with all shit going on, the constant digging into their personal lives, they had suggested their siblings put up some extra protection around their homes. Just to be safe. Azriel supplied them with a few extra camera equipment pieces that they could place around the house and monitor from their phones. Cassian had picked his and Nesta’s set up the day before, bringing little Sutton with him while Nesta took a break to shower and get some sleep.

“It’s on the counter.”

Elain had to cover her mouth to keep from giggling at Az’s brusque tone. Reaching forward, she gripped his cock again, the surprise had her fiancé’s knee slamming into the desk.

“Fuck!” he bellowed sliding his large hand on top of his leg to rub at the hurt.

There was a pause before Rhys asked, “Are you all right, man?”

She kissed his injury, then began to tease him, licking a stripe from base to tip on his dick.

Azriel cleared his throat. “I’m fine.” His tone of voice told her he was indeed, not fine. Not fine at all.

Elain wrapped her lips around his head, sucking quietly. Truthfully, she wanted to see how long he lasted before snarling at his brother to get out.

“Okay, well since you’re such pleasant company today,” Rhys said sarcastically, “Where’s Elain?”

Her name on her brother’s lips had her freezing, wondering why he was asking about her.

“She had to run to the grocery store,” he lied. “Why?”

Elain heard Rhys shuffling from foot to foot.

“I have this bite on my arm that’s getting large. I wanted her to look at it.”

“She’s a surgeon, Rhys,” he snapped. “Not your primary care physician. Go see your doctor for that shit.”

Elain struggled to stifle her laugh, clapping a hand over her mouth. Her shoulders shaking with the effort. Poor fucking Rhys. He was receiving the nasty end of Az’s temper without knowing why.

“You know, perhaps you should have her—” he stopped.

“Have her what?” Az gritted out between clenched teeth.

She slid him back into her mouth, hoping to relax him a bit, feeling the tension in his thighs. Slurping him down without making a sound took more effort than she anticipated, but she made it work.

“I was going to say, ‘Have her take care of you when she gets home,’ but I’m getting the distinct feeling she’s doing that right now.”

Elain choked, Azriel coughing to cover up the sound.

“Mhmm,” Rhys murmured, a twinkle in his voice that told her he knew exactly what was going on. “So, I’m just going to go. See you later.” His footsteps echoed out of the room and then he called out, “Bye, Elain!”

She waited until the elevator doors pinged before she started laughing.

“Do you think that was funny, you naughty girl,” Azriel said, sliding his chair out and hauling her from under his desk.

She grinned. “It was a little funny.”

“You sucking my cock while I tried to have a conversation with my brother is funny?” he asked incredulously.

Elain raised a brow. “It didn’t sound like you were trying to have any kind of conversation with him, baby. You were most definitely trying to get him out.”

“Because you were sucking my cock under my desk without a care in the world that we had company. And for that, you should get punished. Over my knee. Now.”

His change in posture, the way his voice took on that dominance had heat rushing to her core. She was wet already, but now she felt herself pulse around nothing, dripping with need. Elain rose on shaky legs. “What are you going to do? Spank me?”

Challenge flared in him. “You bet your sweet ass, I am. Bend. Over.” It wasn’t a request.

Was she really going to allow him to do this? Elain knew if she told him no, he’d stop immediately, but the curious creature inside of her, the one that he had coaxed out of her, was peeking an eye open at the idea. “Will it hurt?” she hesitated, fingers gripping each other.

His face softened, sensing her internal war. “There is a fine line between pleasure and pain. Will it sting? Yes. It will. But it is also pleasurable too. I promise not to take it too hard with you this first time. And if you don’t like it, you can tell me to stop at any time.” He held out a hand to her, an offering to try something new.

Elain hesitated just a moment longer before she took his hand and let herself be tugged over his lap.

Deft fingers swept between her legs, feeling how wet she was. “So needy for me already, my love. Let’s see how drenched we can get you before I fuck you against my desk.” He kneaded her backside, and Elain felt the blood rush to her cheeks at how exposed she felt. “We’ll start you off with five smacks. Count for me.”

Without giving her any other warning, his palm came down on her cheek, skin clapping skin. Elain yelped at the surprise assault, her body convulsing from it. It didn’t hurt, per se, but it stung a bit. Remembering he gave her an order, she gritted out, “One.”

“Good girl,” he murmured, rubbing over where he smacked before bringing his hand down again.

“Two,” she breathed, feeling herself getting wetter already.

“Louder, Elain,” he demanded, running his hand over the curve of her cheek. “I can’t hear you.”

“Two,” she squeaked again, earning another caress over her backside in satisfaction. By the third smack, her body melted into him, becoming more aroused. It didn’t help that his length was currently digging into her side. “Three,” Elain moaned, head bowing.

Az chuckled. “I can see your slick running down your legs, baby. Are you getting turned on?” he asked just as he brought his palm down again.

“Four.” She was barely able to focus over how fucking stimulated she was. Her backside was sore, but fuck did it send delicious tingles up her body.

His hand came down a final time.

“Five,” Elain cried out, body positively aching for release.

Two thick fingers plunged inside her center, meeting no resistance from how turned on she had become. “Good fucking girl, Elain. You took that so well and look at how soaked you are.” His voice was practically a growl as he pumped in and out of her, his thumb pressing down on her clit.

“Az,” she groaned, fingers clutching his body. “Feels good.” The words tumbled from her lips in a slur.

He pumped and stretched her, stroking that spot that had her shaking. “Come, my love. I need you to let go.”

She was barely hanging on as it was, erupting into her orgasm with a scream. Elain’s body clenched around his fingers still fucking her as she fell, and fell, and fell into her release. A surge of liquid ran down the backside of her thighs.

Azriel’s head dipped and then his tongue was licking her there, intensifying her pleasure and building her up at the same time. “My sexy girl looks so good when she comes,” he groaned into fluttering, pink sex. Pulling his fingers out of her, he readjusted her until she was straddling him and sank her onto his cock.

Elain’s arms automatically went around his neck, holding him close as she moaned from deep in her chest. She had slid onto him with ease, her body molding itself to accommodate his size and girth. Fuck he felt so good stretching her, filling her. She said as much out loud.

His hands on her hips raised her up and down his length, helping her fuck him. It was exquisite to feel him pulse inside of her. Every stroke had her seeing stars in her blissed-out state.

Azriel kicked off his pants and boxers, shuffling Elain in his lap before he rose from his chair and pinned her against the window, the cool glass a stark contrast to her heated skin.

Elain’s legs went around his waist, using it as leverage to match him thrust for thrust. “Az, please!” she cried out, tipping her head back against the glass.

He sank his teeth into the junction of her neck, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise.

The slight pain mixed with the pleasure of his hips snapping into hers had her cresting into oblivion again. Elain’s body pulsed, milking him and sending him hurdling into his release, spilling deep inside of her as he pushed into the hilt and stayed there, groaning into her skin.

They were sweaty and breathing heavily, each coming down from their high. Her delicate fingers swept through his damp hair, brushing the locks back from his face and forcing him to meet her eyes. She had never seen those amber irises shining so bright as they were then. “I can’t wait to call you my husband,” she murmured, leaning forward to kiss him softly.

A sound pitched from his throat as he carried her over to his desk and began to ravish her again.

~~~~~

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[jewishbarbies]

"It baffles me that people genuinely like Midnights."

Anon, here's the truth: they don't. I remember very well what happened when the Lover album came out. I listened to the whole thing a couple of days after it appeared on YouTube and told myself "yikes, not even her fans are going to say this is better than any of her previous ones, let's go back online to see what they're saying" because I just KNEW it was not what they were expecting nor what they wanted. You can imagine my own shock when I found out her fans were praising it as it was here best album to date. It's not that I didn't like it so I thought no one else should have, it's that I've been an active member of The Cult™ for years in the past and I just know how this fandom thinks and is to the core. Lover is NOT the kind of album her fans want and I was naive enough to think that at least some people would've admit that the album was mediocre at best but nope. Also listened again to the songs they were praising the most (The Archer, The Man, Cornelia Street) thinking maybe I lost some incredible depth or extraordinary singing/melody on my first listening but no, still mediocre and dumb.

Flash forward to about six months/less than a year and, SURPRISE SURPRISE, Lover is 90% of them least favorite album. Not only it is one of the least appreciated, some of them genuinely admit they HATE it (and anyone who knows her fandom knows how unusual it is that they would dare to publicly say anything against the quality of something she made) and I had the biggest laugh of my life because it was just plain obvious to me that the album was a huge let down considering it was her first after reputation and her fans were just fooling themselves.

Same goes for Midnights, I had the exact same thought about it and I expect it to have a similar fate in about a year or two because, as we say here, I know my chickens. Swifties are just overwhelmed by finally getting original content after all the re-releasing and entered in a shocked state when they realized said new content sucks. When the leaks of Midnights came out a couple of days before it got officially released the fans who listened to it all said how bad it was but they all suddenly changed their mind as soon as they realized that The Cult™ was in denial about this version of reality even before the album came out, so all of a sudden the album "grew on them" and they mitigated their opinions about it so that they could all agree that it was a masterpiece. But the first reaction was disappointment and shame and that all will come back as soon as more of them will admit it publicly. They only admit something she made was mediocre when a rightful amount of them already says the same, and if they found the guts to do it with Lover the same will happen for Midnights.

All this to say, I'm 100% convinced they don't genuinely like it at all and they're just in a Lover-like denial fase. The first reaction is always the most genuine reaction, and the first reaction was that whoever listened to it (and it was hardcore fans not random people) thought it was her worst album ever. They will go back to that as soon as they can, trust me. And that day it will all make sense again for the rest of us who are not hypnotized by her white thin blonde girl-next-door mediocrity.

THIS

[neg-im]

Of deities and immortals

Vajra as Great Old One of Chaos

I've been thinking about how godhood and immortality works in the SE universe (and how can I use the lack of stablished rules to my evil motives).

Today I want to talk to you about the Great Old Ones an my headcanons about them.

So, based in the manga and the anime, the Eight Shinigami Legions are the same thing as the Great Old Ones. They were chosen as Lord Death companions for a reason, they were incredibly powerful and, somehow, almost everyone ended up being a being closer to a eldritch deity than a human.

Except the ones who Asura ate of course.

So

G. O. O. of Order: Shinigami

Fear: Asura

Power: the octopus

Wrath/Rage: Excalibur

Knowledge: Eibon

Also, there isn't a lot of clarity about Vajra being only Asura's partner or if he was an oficial member of the eight, but I consider him as one since I think that he should have been an already powerful and skilled weapon to be Asura's weapon, plus he probably was from the very first weapons ever so I think he might have ended as a Great Old One too if it wasn't for Asura eating him.

And to me Vajra could have embodied the Chaos. Let me explain.

Since we don't have a lot about Vajra, we're gonna stick with my interpretation of him, which is based in my own HC and all the info I have absorbed from friends and Tumblr users who have their own versions of Vajra.

The Great Old Ones are inherently tied to madness, showing us that madness itself isn't inherently wrong, but the specific kind of madness and the way people choose to use it is what makes it dangerous.

In the case of the madness of fear (Asura), it enhanced the primal responses "fight or fly" (sorry if I'm using that wrong but i hope you'll get the point), making people a risk to themselves and to others.

People have a natural inclination to certain types of madness, but if there's a specific wavelength acting over them, that natural inclination can change or be mixed, like Stein

Even if we don't get a canon answer of what kind of madness he primarily had (putting aside that "madness" can be an allegory for mental illness and/or neurodivergency), I think that his madness at the start of the story was more atune to Madness of knowledge (Eibon), but the influence of Asura and Medusa's snakes made him switch to a combination of that and the madness of fear. We can see how his "disect this, vivisec that" behavior was strongly inclined to a "let's do it for science" attitude, but after Asura's resurrection it was more tinted with the violent impulses of harming someone, which Stein himself reconogized as something unusual and way out of his control.

So, coming back to Vajra.

The behavior that Asura shows himself is of pure fear. He's terrorized of being near another being and never initiated combat. It was always defending himself or his crazy (unwanted) followers trying to provoke Shibusen. Yeah, he's like "I'm gonna destroy your order, Shinigami-sama" and all that but he doesn't really try to attack anyone directly, the boy is a fucking coward (affectionate).

And ok, I've said that madness can cause different reactions, but I don't think that every one of his followers shared the same unicellular brain, with the same response to fear so... How resulted in everyone being so chaotic and violent under Asura's influence?

Well... Because Asura's wavelength isn't entirely his.

Asura has 2 souls inside him. His own soul and the remaining of Vajra's.

When Asura ate him, he was probably still alive.

I have the headcanon that some weapons can live longer if they're in their weapon form, and if they get injured in human form they can turn into weapons until they can get medical care or the injury heals (but this require a lot of practice and a somewhat strong soul).

Vajra probably survived for a long time inside Asura that way, and when Lord Death sealed them in Asura's skin he was slowly losing his humanity and the ability to turn back to his human form and even the ability to communicate to Asura through their soul resonance, but their souls were still connected in some way, so, the Madness that emanated from Asura was both, Fear and Chaos.

[talesoftim]

It's probably really hard for people to understand jut how massively huge the universe is. This is likely because words are really kind of inadequate. So we often fall back on numbers, which are a good representation of the size but after you pass a significantly high enough number, most people often think of them as the same.

What's the difference between 1 million and 1 billion? How about 1 billion and a trillion? How about a trillion ad a quadrillion?

Chances are that you know they're big and that one is bigger than the next but you likely don't think of them as all that different. They're big.

So talking about how unlikely it is for aliens to visit, let alone to visit with violent intentions is hard. But I'm going to attempt it ...

Imagine that you and your family are in the desert. You have more than enough food, water, shelter, and healthcare to survive where you are. However, its just you and your family. So you want to make a trek out into the desert to find others like you. If you climb up to the highest point of your shelter, you can just barely make out the smallest glints in the distance. You can't be 100% positive that there are other humans there but you want to try.

But here's the problem, you have barely enough food to arrive there. You could take more but then you would be taking them from your family. Your entire family could trek out there but there is no guarantee that there's anything safe way out there. In fact, there is no knowing if that glint is actually anything at all.

You still leave, hoping that when you get there you will find something. You're lucky because when you finally arrive you are starving, have run out of supplies to travel back, and are completely exhausted. So it's great that you do actually find people. Now imagine that you are going there to take over and you have to take more people with you and supplies to fight the inhabitants.

This is the closest analogy to attempting to travel in space, and it's important to note that it doesn't even come close to being an accurate representation of the incredible distances and dangers that exist in space. So the chances that they've literally ever visited is so incredibly low.

Now let's talk about if the government is actually holding aliens. Let's assume that the government wants to keep the aliens a secret. Why would they allow someone with any credentials to come out and make a claim that they exist? Why would they classify SOME things that were said, but NOT the claims that the government has alien spacecraft? They wouldn't.

Let's assume that the government just doesn't care if they're kept secret. Why would they hide ... them ... at all? Why would they take steps that they're claimed to have taken to keep them secret? They wouldn't.

That UAP meeting could have had no lies and we would still be unable to really get any actual info from it. America has found and captured an Unidentified Aircraft that contained Non-human biologics.

A country creates a secret spy plane, and the pilot owns a cat that is shedding. The plane is shot down and taken by America. That plane fits the description Unidentified aircraft with Non-human biologics.

The sheer distance, the lack of provided information, the unusual reaction of the government, and the inability to accurately describe what exactly is being talked about is ... enough for me to discount the UAP meeting.

Aliens might exist. But it's unlikely they've ever been here and it's unlikely the government has them. There are weird aerial phenomenon that we don't understand, but it's unlikely that it's aliens.

It's important to think critically about the things you read and see online. It's also important to trust the people who have figured this out before you, but to also have as complete an understanding as possible so that you don't fall into the hole of conspiracy.

I just wanted to write down some thoughts. Space is huge everyone. It's completely and incredibly massive and empty. The earth isn't flat. The moon landing was fucking real and the size of the universe is exactly the reason why it was such an achievement. Anyway, that's all.

-The actual Talesof Tim

[kachuuyaa]

May I request a Raiden Shogun! Reader paired with Fyodor? Also does it stick to just personality of the puppet or does it include their fighting style and stuff? I think Fyodor's reaction to a reader who has a similar devastating attack like Musou no Hitotachi/Raiden Boss would be interesting

a/n: i had to rewrite this thrice anyway, you will harbor the personality of raiden ei! no puppet or anything but u still have the plane of euthymia

1 yr link!

RAIDEN SHOGUN!READER X FYODOR

you couldn't have picked a worse time to get out of your Plane of Euthymia. as you stepped out of ancient japan to your Plane, you stepped foot in yokohama, japan. the bustling streets and the tall buildings overwhelmed you, as you figured your way out of the area. your outfit was enough to attract foreign gazes, though when the Special Division for Unusual Powers had caught wind of your presence, they began to monitor you. 

your abilities are what caught them off guard. not that you would tell them you were from 500 years ago, obviously. your energy was overwhelming enough to make them hypothesize that they were dealing with an unusual ability user, although they are not sure if that was the right term to address you by. dazai hypothesized that your case was like chuuya's, a god inside of you, yet you made no move to correct them. let them have their rumors, why don't they ask you outright? were they too scared to? certainly, the people have evolved since ancient japan, you mused. 

the reason why you shut yourself out from japan in its entirety was due to the incident with your sister all those years ago. struck with grief, you created a plane where time does not pass. and, well, you should have known that staying in it forever was pointless. However, the point is, why didn’t you leave as soon as you came in? It could’ve been 30 years, maybe even 50, yet you chose to stay here as the generation from whence you came dissolved into nothingness. Yet you were too prideful, staying there in pursuits you could reach this so-called ‘eternity’ that you wished to achieve. Even then, 500 years ago, you have come to terms that the road to eternity was a long one. Literally, in fact, with your Plane of Euthymia, the abilities that came with you will remain with you forevermore. 

You knew change was inevitable, accustoming yourself to a place incredibly familiar to you yet so foreign at the same time. You knew the soil was different, yet the events that occurred here 500 years ago remained fresh in your mind. Perhaps, with such change, it left you with naivety. As a military general, you should have known that the consequences double each decade, yet here, you had no power. If you were to tell one military higher up that you were a “renowned samurai”, they would have laughed at your face. And so, with your head down low and your pride tarnished, you walk the streets of Yokohama with no goal in mind, just to pursue eternity, just as you told your sister you would do for the both of you. 

You had told yourself 4 years ago that should you ever reach for the closest opportunity to remain eternal, isolating yourself would be the best start. However, you found yourself catering to the requests of the public in the Sky Casino, someplace seemingly appearing out of nowhere, and your curiosity betrayed your morals. Sigma, the manager, welcomed you with open arms and a timid smile on his face, probably due to your overwhelming aura and the condescending look plastered on your face. He realized you rarely smile, and the crackling aura emanating from your body tells him that you are not to be angered. He also was tasked to find information about you, relying on his ability, yet there were no records for you. Perhaps, could you be the same? Did you just spawn after being written in the book?

He reported it to Fyodor, as his members usually do. Fyodor told him to consult you, and, although left with no choice, he accepted. Sigma didn’t know what to do with what you told him. That, or he was in disbelief that you were so open. He remembers you questioning him if he has heard of the “Raiden Shogun”. Of course, he did, he’s heard the preaches and the praises of their work around the casino, and it was no different. Yet when you told him that you were the Raiden Shogun, he laughed in disbelief. Though, when he turned to you, you held a serious expression, asking if you were mocking him for being delirious. He now believes you, as the photos and the drawings of the Shogun he has seen resembled you perfectly. Yet, aren’t you a mortal? Sure, ancient Japan’s strongest weapon is powerful, yet he knew that you were to pass away then. You waved him off, sparkles of purple latching onto your hands. That’s when he knew. 

He brought you to Fyodor, a thought lingering that you may be naive to this world and that Fyodor can help you, as he helped him. He was looking for a home, and he was certain you were looking for one too. Okay, Fyodor was intrigued, yet you felt something off. His words were saccharine and too persuasive for your liking. So, begrudgingly, you agreed. He could not miss the suspicion colored purple in your eyes. It was too strong to be ignored. Especially someone like you, of your caliber, it would only be natural if you were suspicious of everyone you come across. Though, Fyodor was a one-track mind, with a goal to make you belong in the DOA. 

He realized he had to open up to you if he was going to recruit you, it wasn’t that easy. Especially when you were unnerved upon hearing your title come out of his mouth. He deduced that you were not to be called the Raiden Shogun, as it makes you uncomfortable. He was first introduced to your power upon being attacked by ability users. The final skill you performed, which was the Musou No Hitotachi, a skill that was only ever used when you decide that they were to receive the ‘Divine Punishment’ you bestowed upon sinful people awed him, not that he'd show it. So, he wonders, why haven’t you used it on him yet? He was the epitome of sin, a wannabe God that carries out his own goals with selfishness in mind. You were naive, yet to the emotions of others that you observe, you may rival his own knowledge. 

It would take long for him to settle with his feelings. His only goal in mind is to eradicate the world of ability users, but you were one, as well. So, he weighed his options. Rule the world with you, or eradicate the world with you, too. It would be even harder with Nikolai on his tail, ready to pounce at any given moment. Oh, well, it was a problem for later. Your abilities easily surpass every ability he has ever seen. Your combat skills, too. Even without an ability, you were still to be feared for your achievements as a Head General 500 years ago. You were not a solo samurai for nothing. 

Due to your nature for being suspicious, any change of behaviour from Fyodor would immediately alert you, though, it does not mean it doesn’t intrigue you. For you and him to settle with your feelings was no easy task, more so falling in love. You didn’t like the idea, you knew love was not eternal, he was not eternal, and that you would lose him too, just like you lost your sister. The road to his goals was a rocky and unsafe path that you chose to join, and you also had the choice to leave. Although, with Fyodor, maybe you’d stay. Maybe, if you were with him, everything you had hoped for would reach eternity-- maybe both of you would be the beings remaining as the world passes for another 500 years. 

© kachuuyaa

[slasherhaven]

Can I request slashers reacting to their s/o surprising them with lingerie?

The Slashers reacting to their S/O surprising them with lingerie:

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas.exe stopped working. When he steps into your shared bedroom, closing the door behind him, he pauses as soon as he sees you.

Where did you even get that from? You’re kneeling on the bed, a smile on your face now that he was here, wearing lingerie that he had never seen before.

He feels like he shouldn’t stare, still worried about getting things wrong like this, no matter how long you have been together. It’s oddly sweet. But he still can’t help but stare just a little, especially when you assure him that it’s alright to do so. 

You stand from the bed and walk up to him, taking his hands and placing them on your waist so that he can feel the lace you were wearing. 

When you lean up to him and tell him that all of this is for him, he’ll lift you off of the ground, letting you wrap your legs around him as he carries you over to the bed.

He’s always in awe of you, now more than ever. You look so beautiful and he’s so in love with you, still in disbelief that you want him as much as he wants you.

Michael Myers

The last thing Michael expect to find when he got home, was you still awake, waiting for him and dressed in lingerie.

Now, he doesn’t care much for lingerie. He still wants the same result, you naked and letting him have his way with you.

He still has to admit that he likes the way you look in it, and he likes that you have dressed that way specifically for him. Plus...it’s pretty, it compliments you very well, even he can see that.

In the end, that lingerie is going to be ripped off of you and end up on the floor. He really doesn’t care about ruining it, he can be pretty inconsiderate like that, but you’re still in for one hell of a good night.

Jason Voorhees

You’re going to give this man a heart attack.

When he got back to the cabin and you greeted him with a sweet kiss to the mask but so...scantily clad, he wasn’t sure how to react.

You had obviously put some extra effort into looking nice for him and you did look stunning, in fact Jason couldn’t stop starting at you, but this was definitely new.

He’s very sweet about it, and a little curious.

He has no plan to quickly get it off of you, he’s going to admire how it looks on you for a little while longer. 

The lace and silk and your skin all feel so soft under his hands, he loves that feeling. 

He just loves you and admires your beauty. Even when you’re sitting nearly naked in front of Jason, he manages to be so sweet and tender. Is there anything that could get this man to not treat you like something fragile and precious? Probably not!

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms found your lingerie before you knew about him. He was a creep (still is sometimes) and he knows that. He had been waiting to see you wearing it since he discovered it but daren’t mention that he knew about it.

And then...you did it but so much better than he imagined.

When he came into the room to see you wearing the lacy number he had been fantasising about for so long, he was hard instantly.

He’s handsy and can’t help himself, groping you through the thin material with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Brahms is a huge fan, he absolutely loves it, and will expect this more often now that you’ve shown him it.

Bo Sinclair

You should have known what you were getting yourself into. 

When Bo finds you in your shared bedroom, wearing nothing but some sexy lingerie, he was a little surprised. He just hadn’t been expecting it.

However, his surprise his quickly forgotten. In seconds he is smirking and making demands for you to��‘get your ass over here’.

Of course he’s teasing you about how needy you are for his attention, getting all dressed up just for him. Did you really want him to fuck you that bad?

He’ll give you what you want but for purely selfish reasons.

Bo isn’t always...good at complimenting you but you get the idea that he’s a fan pretty quickly.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent freezes as soon as he walked into the bedroom and sees you dressed in delicate lace that just about covered everything that needed covering.

You looked amazing, absolutely beautiful, he was just stunned.

You saunter up to him with a smile on your face, placing your hands on his chest and greeting him sweetly. 

He would place his hands on your hips, staring at your body. He would have considered that disrespectful normally but it seemed appropriate in this moment.

Vincent is an artist and you are his muse, so you can bet that he is going to spend plenty of time admiring how you look in this.

Lester Sinclair

Lester loves coming home to you because you always greet him with a hug and a kiss, but he could have never expected this. You greeted him like you usually would, the only difference being what you were wearing.

A simple but delicate looking lingerie set. He had no idea where you had gotten it but it didn’t matter because he was already in love with it.

He feels like the luckiest man on the planet to have a gorgeous partner like you, who would wear something like this for him without even being asked.

“All of this for me?” he’d ask and you’d nod with a smile. “...thank you” he didn’t know what to say but he was grateful. You couldn’t help but giggle before kissing him, he was adorable.

Usually, he really does care much about lingerie, he considers it ‘fancy’, but he definitely loves it right now.

He’s cautious to remove it carefully, he definitely doesn’t want to tear it off of you, he wants you to be able to wear this again.

Bubba Sawyer 

He thinks you look so pretty!!!

He might not even see it in a purely sexual way. The ‘outfit’ is cute and pretty and you look fantastic, he can just appreciate that. Though...the revealing nature of the attire does have a near instant effect on his thoughts and body.

You get lots of complimentary babbles and big smiles as his hands explore your body and the new item of clothing.

Of course lace and ribbons are going to put a smile on his face, especially if it’s in a soft colour like pink or light blues.

His hands are eager but not rough at all, he’s not all that interested in ripping it off of you or anything, he’s just a tad over excited by how you look.

You’re going to have to take the lead, he doesn’t even know what to do with himself right now. All he knows is that you look incredible and he loves you so much.

Billy Lenz

Billy has seen that you have some lingerie, he’s definitely gone snooping around in your belongings before. He might have even ‘borrowed’ them before.

But when he finally gets to see you wearing it, and with the intention of him seeing it, he’s thrilled.

As soon as he sees you, he’s grinning and ready to pounce on you.

Don’t expect much patience or will-power from him, he just needs to be touching you now. He can’t resist you like this!

He is overly eager (which isn’t that uncommon anyway) and you’re not going to be able to reel him in much, but this is like a treat for him so it’s okay.

He just can’t get enough of touching you, rambling his dirty thoughts without restraint, confessing his ‘history’ with the garment and how he was waiting for you to wear it for him.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

His reaction depends on your relationship with him. He might be a little surprised by you taking the initiative and greeting him like this, or he might have even asked you (more like ordered you) to be wearing this particular set when he returns home. 

But let’s say he wasn’t expecting it at all and you just decided to surprise him.

Honestly the result will pretty much be the same, his surprise quickly masked with a smirk.

Of course he can’t have you thinking you have any control here, so he’s instantly walking up to you, taking your chin between his thumb and finger, making you look up at him as he comments on how good you are to greet him like this.

Now, are you going to keep being good and do as he says? Very good, now go wait for him in the bedroom.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull) 

You have a whole collection of lingerie. Even if you didn’t own any before dating Jesse, you do now because he bought you plenty of sets, all of the finest quality of course.

You knew when Jesse was coming home from his most recent ‘business trip’, so you were prepared for his return, having gotten yourself all dressed up in his favourite set of lingerie to greet him.

He came home and you greeted him the way you unusually go, with an embrace and a passionate kiss. 

He instantly noticed the thin robe your were wearing, and he got the idea pretty quick.

Jesse just smirked as you untied the robe, dropping it to the floor to show him his favourite lacy lingerie.

In a matter of seconds he’s lifting you off of your feet, having you wrap your legs around his waist as he captures your lips in a kiss and carries you to the bedroom.

He couldn’t have asked for a better ‘welcome home’.

Otis Driftwood

Otis was in a bad mood when he returned to your shared bedroom, but that bad mood was put on hold for a moment when he saw you dressed in pretty lace lingerie.

Well, you certainly had a plan for what would be happening when he got back, and he wasn’t about to argue with you. It definitely lightened his mood just a little.

“You know just how to cheer me the fuck up” Otis smirked, walking up to you and grabbing you, you didn’t even have the time to respond or even smile at him before he was kissing you.

He does love how you look in the lingerie but he doesn’t care so much about ruining it. Feel free to complain and chastise him when he rips it, he doesn’t care, he just assures you that he’ll just get you some more.

He’ll take a second to just stare at your body before tearing the lingerie off of you.

Oh, he was about to take out his bad mood on you, but you were never one to complain about that.

Baby Firefly

As soon as Baby steps into your bedroom to see that you have gotten all dolled up for her, she’s smiling brightly. She loves it!

She just thinks you look so good! And she’s going to tell you that in various ways, plenty of compliments are coming your way.

She’ll grab you by the waist, pulling you closer to her and pressing a kiss to your lips before asking if you did all of this for her. Of course you did, and she knows it.

She tells you that she’s very grateful, you look gorgeous like this, but right now she’s ready to get it off of you and drop it to the floor.

Baby is very honest about how she’ll be waiting for your next little surprise treat.

Yautja (Predator) 

This is...new to him. Of course human clothes in general are pretty new to him but he understands that this attire is more ‘scandalous’ than what you would usually wear. It’s new but he’s intelligent, he gets the idea.

He is a fan. He thinks you look wonderful in it and he wants to admire you in it, giving you plenty of compliments. 

He also likes the confidence, and that you put this on to seduce him, not that you need to try very hard to do that.

He’s careful with it, especially if you informed him it was pretty expensive or if it looks very delicate. He doesn’t want to accidently tear it and upset you.

[hajimesh]

𝚑𝚌; 𝚜𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐

— suna rintarō — kozume kenma — bokuto kōtarō

request. kenma & suna🚰hc @prettysetterbaby +🚰hc for bokuto please? thank you!

a/n. i’m proud of this one lol tysm jj & anon for requesting♥︎

-ˏˋ𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕒

we know this fucker can be a bit lazy in bed

but when he uses his ‘core control’...

bitch, we’re ruined 💀

he’d have u on all fours, lazily fucking u but it’s u who’s doing most of the work

he got off just by watching ur pussy swallowing and creaming all over his dick, and ur ass slapping against his hips

he was trying to get more comfortable when he accidentally hit a sensitive spot

“shit,” u squealed with ur face buried in the bed, a faint gushing feeling coming out of ur cunt

and he clearly noticed it

suna’s eyes widened before narrowing again. “can you squirt?”

u looked back at him, a few tears in the corners of ur eyes, and croaked out a yes

“you should’ve told me sooner,” he bitterly said and gave a sharp thrust that knocked ur breath away

“s-sorry.”

he kept his calculating eyes on u, not liking the fact that he was just finding out about this

his abs contracted every time he moved his hips against urs, his eyes remaining locked on ur pussy watching as the once creamy juices turned runnier and watery

he had a strong grip on u, making sure he hit the same place over and over again while groaning under his breath

meanwhile, u were drooling, ur eyes rolling to the back of your head in delight

the distinctive feeling was getting closer. “rin,” u moaned. “i’m almost there.”

all u could hear where the lewd sounds of ur cunt sucking his cock, his low grunts making u feel elated for making him feel good

his thrusts were agile, ur toes curling at the friction of his dick inside ur walls which finally made u squirt all over him with two, long spurts

“holy shit,” he kept fucking u, slower this time, fascinated by the way the liquid covering u both glistened under the light. “that was the hottest thing i’ve ever seen.”

he even forgot about his own orgasm lmao

but don’t worry, u made sure sunarin got the best head of his life 🥰

-ˏˋ𝕜𝕖𝕟𝕞𝕒

he had been wondering for a while if u had ever squirted before

“w-what,” ur cheeks grew warm, shocked by his unusual question. “no, i... i’ve never done it.”

he hummed but his brain was already three steps ahead, planning on how to bring it up next time u two were together

it wasn’t until a week later when he finally gave it a go

he was fingering u, his fingers pumping in and out of ur pussy at a steady pace

“can i try something?”

u didn’t think much of it, more focused on the feeling of his digits massaging u, so u hummed a soft ‘yes’

that was until u felt him hitting a deeper spot that had u mewling in a second

“feels good, right?” he smiled down at u, glad that it had worked. “if you feel like peeing, don’t stop it and let go.”

u were confused but complied anyway

his fingers curled inside u, switching between pumping them faster and then slowly, scanning ur face to see ur reaction

he was drawing out ur release, slowing down whenever he felt ur pussy contract around his fingers, and playing with ur arousal pooling down on his hand

a few minutes later he was close to making u cum, he saw how wet ur pussy was and thought it was time

his pace quickened, fingers prodding deliciously at ur walls, and after one kitten lick at ur clit, the dam broke

u gushed all over the bed with his fingers still inside of u

“that’s it,” he praised, his eyes gleaming in fascination at the way ur cunt spasmed around him and the warmth of the liquid. “i knew you could do it.”

“kenma—“

“shh, you did good,” he finally removed his fingers, smirking at ur whine of complain before clicking his tongue. “but next time you are doing it yourself, ok? i can’t do all the work.”

good thing u were a quick learner

-ˏˋ𝕓𝕠𝕜𝕦𝕥𝕠

this bby owl was so excited, fucking ur pussy silly, that he ended up making u squirt without even meaning to🥺

“yes, yes,” you let your head fall forward, relying all of your weight on ur arms supporting u on the wall

bokuto pounded from behind, his grip on your hips close to bruising you but you didn’t mind

he was mesmerized with the way your back arched as he repeatedly hit your spot, and how your ass jiggled at the force of his thrusts

he was getting desperate, he grabbed your right thigh and lifted it, the new angle allowing him to hit your cunt deeper

his balls smacked against you, your juices running down and coating him

“ngh baby,” he grunted, his eyebrows drawn closer too immersed in his pleasure. “your pussy feels incredible.”

before you could answer back, he dropped your thigh and pulled out his dick from your hole

he turned you around to face him and signaled you to jump. as soon as your legs wrapped around him, he slid into your pussy again, placing you against the wall

his pace was incredibly fast, the swift graze of his cock on your insides plus his pelvic bone rubbing against your clit, ended up overstimulating you

the sudden need to pee made your eyes widen and mouth fall open, you had no time to react and soon you were squirting

the wetness allowed his cock to slide in and out of you easier, sending him to his end too

“did you just squirt!?” he asked after realizing how unusually wet he felt down there

you nodded sheepishly, your face hanging down in embarrassment and your juices still running down

“hey, hey,” he cradled your face with his hands, lifting it so he could see you straight to your eyes. “it was amazing! do you think we could do it again?”

“again!?”

long story short, he became an excited puppy eager to have you thoroughly pleasured, and often begged you to let him try it again

...not that you were complaining

[witch-hazels-musings]

because I need that good loving can I request Diluc and Zhongli reaction to seeing there SO dressed up for a formal event even though its not something they really like doing but because they dont want to make Diluc/Zhongli look bad in front of all these other people they put all their effort into looking like the human embodiment of attractiveness.

the way you look tonight 

(okay so truth time - I thought about you the whole time I was writing this and forgot you requested it -- I hope the love of these boys reminds you that you are lovely <3!) 

Warning -> SFW, fluff / comfort (cussing(1))(self-conscience reader)

Character X GN Reader | Anthology

Includes: Zhongli ⚘, Diluc

Zhongli

He finds your normal style of dress unique and interesting, it’s unlike most of the people who make up Liyue’s landscape and it’s independently you

When someone lives their life in the way they want to, that's what Zhongli admires the most about people, about humans 

He doesn’t mind what you wear, he would want anyone to meet you, to see you regardless because through his eyes he sees your attractiveness - it’s in the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you react when something makes you excited or when he gives you a gift you don’t expect - how could he hide you away and not let others see the way you glow? 

You look at yourself for the tenth time in the large circular mirror. An hour had gone by and you still felt unusual, out of place, like a fraud in this attire. For the, you’ve lost count, time you fuss with the fabric that sits against your stomach, tugging on it, wondering if you should leave it open or closed. The most frustrating thing about this is that you had no idea how to wear this damn thing. 

Your head falls onto the vanity and you do your best to hold it all in. With a deep breath, you go back to messing with your hair and face. The ticking clock behind you reminds you that time is not your friend no matter how much you want it to stop. 

This is so hard for you, of course, you want to be there for Zhongli - he was there for everything you ever did, it was beyond time to repay him - but you just couldn’t find the confidence to be proud of what you’d done. So, shaping the image in your brain into a distorted representation of what you wished you looked like, you stood from your small chair and walked toward the door of the bedroom. 

Your shoes click on the hardwood floor which is something you hate, the thought of people hearing you coming only to see what appears from the source of the sound makes your skin crawl. Still, you pressed on, and that’s when your eyes fell onto the immaculate figure that stands near the entrance. His tall, elegant frame is so intense it knocks the wind from your lungs as if someone just punched you in the stomach. How can I stand next to that … you panic and turn to retreat back into the safety of the bedroom when your arms collide with a small table in the hallway.

Objects fall to the ground and, in a ridiculous display of your clumsy nature, you juggle one of the more breakable objects before catching it moments from shattering on the floor below. 

“Whew …” You exclaim, bringing it close to your body. “Sorry, little guy didn’t mean to do that.” You wince, patting its side before place it back onto its home and picking up the other objects from the ground. 

Long fingers enter your field of vision, startled you stand only to see Zhongli reaching down to assist you. 

“Ah, sorry.” You express, crossing your arms after putting the items in your hands half-hazard onto the surface. 

“No need to apologize, are you injured?” He asks, standing himself and reminding you how tall he is. 

“My pride, maybe.” You share, laughing through your embarrassment. 

“Too much of that and we might find ourselves in trouble anyway.” He looks down at you, his eyes scanning, interested and making you shift under their gaze. “You …” 

“I know... I look so strange, and,” you begin, fussing with the top again, “I can’t seem to get this right.” Turning around you show him what you were talking about and how it seems far too loose. 

He laughs softly and you feel his hands run underneath the edge of the fabric and coming to rest at the wrap at your waist. “Let me assist you.” 

“Thank you …” He’s so close to you, his hands move expertly as they work to correct your inadequacies, eyes compassionate, patient as they always are. 

“This outfit suits you.”

“Does it really? I look so … I mean this isn’t something I would normally wear. In fact,”  You think for a minute before continuing, “I can’t remember the last time I dressed up for something other than adventuring. It’s not practical to go running through ruins in this type of getup.” You explain, lifting your arms and watching how the fabric slips down to your elbows before sliding back to your wrists as they collide with your legs. 

“That could turn things into quite the challenge I’d imagine.” 

“Exactly.��� 

“Nevertheless, you will turn quite a many heads upon our arrival.” 

“That’s what I'm afraid of …” You mumble, forgetting that he is close enough to hear you. 

“Y/N, need I remind you how spectacular you look.” 

You bite your lip but your insecurities make you speak anyway, “I just don’t see how I have the right to stand next to you, I don’t want you to be … ashamed of me.” The end of your sentence trails off as you look to the ground. Zhongli doesn’t respond until his hands stop fixing your gown. With comforting fingers he presses against the soft underbelly of your chin, lifting your head at the angle it should be. 

“While I am beyond sure you can hear me, I hope that you can trust me as well when I tell you that every day I am honored to stand at your side. There is nothing in this world which compares to your beauty, in fact, you are more radiant than the moon itself.” He leans in to place a kiss against your forehead. 

“You don’t wish I was … more attractive?” 

“I cannot wish for a thing that holds no bearing on reality.” 

“Mmm.” 

“If my words have not reached you, perhaps I can better express my truth through actions …” He pulled you flush against him, his hands now wrapped around your hips and eyes focused on your lips. 

“Aa! Wait … no, I believe you.” Embarrassed, you push away from him and make your way toward the door. “Let’s just go because if I get out of this thing I won’t be putting it back on.” You huff, smoothing out the wrinkles. 

“Shall we?” He reaches for your hand and easily you take it. 

“Let’s do this.” With a lighthearted Zhongli, you exit your home and head toward the lively sounds drifting over the water. 

Diluc

He already thinks you are so incredibly attractive no matter what you wear - he knows you’re one for practicality, from your actions to your clothes, you are ready to go and prepared for whatever will come your way - a trait he admires

There is something adorable about the way you fall out of bed in the morning and, in some cases, take less time than he does to get ready - it can come in handy where there much work to be done 

He never asks for you to be more than what you are - he honestly wouldn’t care what other people thought about you, all that matters is you believe him when he tells you how good you look or how you make his heart clench 

So when he sees you descend the stairs in an outfit, a formal, totally out-of-the-absolute-norm outfit, he’s stunned 

“Crap.” You say, flinging the jewelry you couldn’t decide on anyway back toward the dresser. You’d taken far too long to get ready, even though you started hours ago, it still wasn’t enough to make you feel confident and finished. Glancing at your reflection one last time, you gave up with a heavy sigh and made your way down the hallway. 

You could already see everyone else in their formal attire ready to go, even the attendants looked better than you did. When you caught sight of Diluc your steps slowed and for a solid minute to you debated about turning around and hiding under the comfortable covers of the bed you loathed getting out of this morning. 

“Ah, there you are! Are you ready?” Adaline shouted from below you and like a scene from a nightmare everyone turned to look up at you. You stumbled backward and felt your chest tighten, eyes scanning each face as you debated on your next action. When they fell onto Diluc’s stoic eyes, you felt a little bit of relief and knew all you had to do was make it down to him. 

Slowly, you started again and, with a deathlike grip on the railing, you made your way down the stairs. Diluc met you at the bottom, his hand extended to take yours. 

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t figure out what would pair well with … this thing.” You gestured at your outfit and looked behind him, thankful that people had already started to leave through the front door. “Do I … look okay?” 

With an awkward smile, you waited for his answer, hopeful that he wouldn’t have to struggle so hard to lie to you. I mean, when you were able to see him in his suit, the way it perfectly fits around his toned body, the fabric tucked in all the right places, the sleeves just long enough to give one a peek of skin underneath - there was no way you compared to him. 

He looked at you for so long your heart started to feel like a thousand knives were stabbing you in all directions. He hates this … he can’t believe that I’m such a disaster. The thoughts circulate in your brain and just as your about to rush back up the stairs and hide he lifts your fingers to his lips and kisses them with so much love. 

“I apologize … I’m just a bit startled is all.” Your stomach drops to your feet at his words. 

“Archons, is it that bad? Did I put something on wrong … or?” 

“Nothing like that,” He kisses your palm and the action makes your spine turn hot, “You look unbelievable, is what I wanted to say.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yes.” He looks at you but you shy away from his eyes. “Y/N, do you trust me?” 

“What … of course I trust you.” You reply, flabbergasted. 

“Then trust me now.” He pulls you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around your neck, his hand resting at the back of your head. “I’ve never seen someone as brilliant as you.” 

Fueled by your emotions, you return his hug, squeezing your arms around his waist and doing your best not to let your face be ruined by the tears that want to fall from stinging eyes. “Thank you, I’ll trust you on this … today.” 

“I don’t have any issues reminding you again and again.” Shouting outside tells you that it’s now or never and, as much as you don’t want to, your arms release each other. “Are you ready?” He asks, offering you his arm, and with a deep inhale and sharp nod, you take it and walk through the doors. 

----

taglist: @star-gods @mercurysmaiden @dourpeep @clemmywrites @pepperoncinipizza @handswritteeen @the-mermaid-of-mondstadt @lucifucker @beelsdessert @coolcats09 @ninqat @musekala @sufzku @mooshymello @heavenlyang @plenilunegazes @odafashioned @glazelilyy

[buckyownsmylife]

Diving Bell - Andy Barber smut

The one where Andy has been a patient librarian, but now that you’ve accepted his advances...

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, dubcon, (andy pushes the relationship into boundaries that weren’t previously consented), age gap, (reader is over eighteen and in college), semi-public sex, somewhat of an exhibitionism kink, oral (f), andy’s definitely dark but reader is generally into it, she just doesn’t know what “it” will be, dirty talk

Word count: 3k<

A/N:  this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them, instead of on Thursdays, which are my usual one-shot posting days. Hope you guys like it!

Reader’s P.O.V.

My face burned and I wondered how I hadn’t spontaneously combusted from how hot I felt under the hot new librarian’s gaze. Sure, the girls had warned me about it - I’d hear so much about him, in fact, that I was sure I’d be disappointed when I actually did manage to meet him.

Boy, was I wrong.

He was the definition of daddy, luscious beard and hair just begging to be pulled and I could feel the burn his jaw would leave behind if he deposited kisses down my neck - or better yet, on the insides of my thighs - but he was at least twenty years older than me.

There was absolutely no way I’d ever catch his attention. Not when so many girls had tried to get in his pants - girls hotter than me - and had failed miserably, as I’d been told time and time again from the very same seductresses.

So I saw absolutely no point in trying. Although, one could very well admire, right? Also, fantasize couldn’t do any harm, not even to my extremely vulnerable pride. It’s not like I could control it, anyway.

But another thing I couldn’t control was his effect on me. The way my whole body warmed up when I felt his eyes on it, how I couldn’t immediately focus on his words whenever he addressed me.  I even stopped coming to the library to study because 1) I couldn’t concentrate with him around and 2) his presence had brought a whole new wave of first-time library users, and seeing as their interests weren’t on the actual books, they tended to be extremely loud.

Once essays started to get assigned though, there wasn’t much I could do. I had to get back to the library, and so I chose to go when it was already dark, hoping he wouldn’t pick up that shift, and knowing most frat girls would be at an impromptu Thursday-night party to celebrate (once again) the start of classes.

I didn’t understand why they couldn’t just throw a party for the sake of partying. Did they have to reuse the same excuse, over and over again? It’s not like anyone cared. I certainly didn’t, and the people who went for the free beer didn’t care about anything just as long as the alcohol kept flowing.

“What are you doing here?” His voice startled me, almost making me drop the pile of books I’d been gathering. Even though there was no way I’d confuse him with someone else, I still looked over my shoulder to make sure it was really him, that he was actually there, staring at me with those caring warm brown eyes.

“S-should I be anywhere else?” I tried to sass, even if my own voice gave me away. He chuckled though, extending a hand to help me with the load in my arms, and although I hesitated for a second, I ended up accepting his help. It was his job, after all. This couldn’t really be considered flirting, right?

“I don’t know. I’ve heard about this party tonight, figured you’d be there.” Frowning, I finally turned to stare at him directly in the eyes, almost immediately regretting my decision. Damn, he looked good.

“How do you know about the party?” I asked, and his lips immediately curled up, trying to contain a smile from stretching over his face.

“Some girls may or may not have invited me to meet them there.” Clicking my tongue, I decided to look back at the bookshelf, instead of paying him any more attention.

“Why? Are you jealous?” The question felt too much like something a fuckboy my age might ask me at a party, not a forty-year-old man who worked a full-time job. When I turned to look at him again, eyebrows raised high, he chuckled.

“Sorry, that’s not usually my style… I’m just at a loss of ways to get you to notice me, that’s all.” Well, now I was beyond shocked.

“Why do you want me to notice you?” I asked, utterly confused, but Andy just laughed, shaking his head at me like he was profoundly amused by my ways.

“I always notice when you’re around. Even worse, I always notice when you aren’t.” And then, as he looked around like he wanted to make sure other people wouldn’t hear him, he leaned over me and confessed, “It gets pretty lonely here without you.”

The accompanying wink almost gave me a heart attack. Stuttering out something even though I didn’t know what to say, I moved away from the bookshelf in search of the nearest table, finding it thankfully empty.

When I turned around to look for him again, he was right by my side.

“I don’t get it,” I managed to admit once my arms were book-free. “We’ve talked like twice. You helped me find books, I acted like a fool. You weren’t supposed to flirt with me, why aren’t you interested in the college girls who actually hit on you?”

He raised his eyebrows before frowning, hands deep in his pockets as he stared down at me in all of his height. “Have you ever considered… that I just don’t want them?”

The insinuation stirred something deep inside of me, leaving me flushed and overall a mess. Stumbling out an apology, I gathered my stuff and left as quickly as possible, determined to process what had happened that evening by myself, so it could actually feel real and I could decide what to do from then on.

But something changed ever since that evening. I stopped trying to run away from him and started to actively go to the library in the times I knew he was there, at first still avoiding him and looking away every time he caught me staring, silently grateful that he didn’t try to force me to open up to him.

His patience was rewarded when in a few weeks, I began to talk to him again. Asking him for book recommendations, never anything other than what was strictly related to his job, but the way his eyes glinted knowingly at me warned me that he did understand where my mind was at.

It didn’t take long for him to start flirting with me, and from then on, I slowly accepted his advances and even began to eagerly wait for them.

I smiled widely when I heard his low whistle, admiring the way he looked in that comfortable sweater as he put away the books he was holding to fully give me all of his attention.

“Well, don’t you look incredible?” He asked as I twirled so he could fully see the dress I’d put on just for him. “Did you dress up for me, pretty girl? Because I like to think that you did.”

Biting my lower lip, I tried to gather the courage I’d been trying to build up all week, before finally nodding and admitting, “Yes, I did.” From the stupefied look on his face, it didn’t seem like he was expecting that. Even worse, I wasn’t expecting the outcome of my little attempt to flirt back.

“I’m going to kiss you now.” And that was all the warning I got before his hands cradled my face and he took my mouth in his, kissing me breathless, leaving me aching and soaked when he finally released me.

I was panting by the time he let go of my lips, and he smiled softly at me as he brushed over my cheekbones, saying, “You know… if you ever need anything… You know I’m always here to help.”

Andy’s P.O.V.

“So, what brings you here tonight?” My own smile denounced just how much of her intentions I already knew, from how well I knew her. Her late-night visits to the library had become more and more frequent, and I couldn’t say that I hated it.

“I don’t know,” she feigned nonchalance, shrugging while perusing the bookshelves before looking back at me from over her shoulder. “The hot new librarian in charge of the night shift has told me he was always available to help me with anything I needed, and I’ve been needing a distraction.”

My chuckle was low, in order not to interrupt the few students still trying to finish whatever assignment they were working on, but she heard it. I watched as she shivered at the sound of my voice, prompting me to lick my lips at the powerful reaction I could so easily elicit from her.

“You didn’t use to be so blunt,” I teased, remembering how she used to come in here looking for me, only to run away at the last second. It was adorable. Ever since I started working at this university, it wasn’t unusual for college girls to come in groups and watch me from a distance, their giggles whenever I glanced at them unmistakable in the almost completely silent environment. Eventually, one or two would always break away from the group and try to flirt while their friends became a captive audience, but I was quick to shut them down.

They weren’t the one I wanted. She was standing in front of me now, pretending to be interested in a random book, biting her lower lip to keep a smile from spreading over her face. “Do you miss it?”

There was something undeniably attractive by her shyness back then, her inability to ask me for information or even sustain my gaze, but now that I knew what it was like to have her meet my eyes, now that I’d had the luxury of hearing her speak, of getting to know the intricacies of her mind, how could I miss what was, back then, a stranger?

“Not at all.” Her laughter, even subdued because of the place we were in, was enough to have my stomach doing backflips. I had to smile, instinctively getting closer to her, just like a moth, drawn to a flame. 

“I want to do dirty, dirty things to you,” I admitted, one hand on the back of her head as I pressed her against the bookshelf, my lips just over her ear as my beard undoubtedly tickled her neck. “Can’t very well protect my soul if I’m still thinking about you as an innocent little thing, now can I?”

Her eyes dropped down to my lips before meeting mine again, and just like that, I had all the authorization I needed to connect our lips and kiss her breathless. Humming in delight against her quiet neediness, her eagerness to open her lips, welcome my tongue with hers, I blindly moved us further towards the back of the library, relaxed in the knowledge that amongst taxidermia books no one would come to check on us.

Not that I cared all that much if they did.

“Hm… Want me, sweetheart?” I pressed, needing to hear her say it, taking sick pleasure in knowing this came from her, this was her own desire. She almost didn’t answer me, eyelids heavily pressing her eyes closed when our mouths parted, but in the absence of my touch on her, she jolted.

“Yeah, I do! I do, I do…” She insisted, pressing herself against me, feeling just how badly I wanted her too. It made her gasp, witnessing how hard she had made me - she didn’t know it yet, but it’d been this way ever since the first day.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” I whispered, just to see the way goosebumps took over her flesh while I got rid of her underwear, moving us towards an empty table where I could lay her out to take.

“No, I don’t want you to stop,” she moaned when she saw me leaning over to kiss between her legs, eyes still connected to hers until she closed them to throw her head back, overtaken by the sensation of my warm tongue slipping between her folds. It was better that way, she wouldn’t see the dangerous smirk that denounced that she would come to regret her words before I was done with her.

She tasted just as sweet as I always imagined her to. So wet already, it was clear she was desperate for me. The cock straining against my pants reminded me I couldn’t be too cocky about it - I wanted her just as badly.

“C’mon, honey…” I teased, dipping my tongue in her hole as my thumb frantically rubbed her tiny clit. “Give me more, I want more.” I needed her to cum before I could shove my cock into her. It was important.

The sudden tension of her thighs denounced the arrival of her orgasm, and where usually I’d love nothing more than to keep licking her, delighting myself with her taste and overstimulating her sweet body until she was crying, there was only so much I could take tonight.

“There you go,” I complimented when she easily succumbed to my directions, having turned her around and laid her with her stomach on the table, legs dangling off of it. “Want to feel me now, pretty girl? Want me to fill you now?”

Her answer was a whine as her hips searched for mine. She was offering herself to me, the innocent little thing. Didn’t know I’d take her regardless of it.

I had the instinct of slapping my hand over her mouth as I penetrated her, and so her moan came out muffled. I could still understand a breathless, “so good…” being uttered against my palm, and it only made me bite down on my lip harder, so my own sounds wouldn’t reverberate across the silent library.

It was a twisted kind of pleasure to hold her arms back as I fucked her roughly but as silently as possible, trying not to make the table squeak so it wouldn’t draw attention to us. Even though I didn’t particularly care if someone did find us - I wouldn’t stop fucking her if God himself tried to intervene -  I’d prefer to reach my goal without unwanted interferances.

So I was glad she didn’t seem to mind the fact that anyone could easily look our way and see us fucking. Had I really tempted her that much, that she would let me do whatever I wanted to her body, just as long as I fucked her?

Guess I was about to find out.

“Do you know how many times I masturbated in the back room, thinking about this sweet pussy?” I asked, voice raspy with desire as I kept jackhammering her as quietly as possible, but probably failing to do so in the midst of my arousal. “To think I finally have it now, wrapped around my dick…” My voice faltered as I realized all of my dreams were about to come true, right at that moment.

“Can’t wait to fuck my cum back into you, sweetheart. I’m gonna keep you so full from now on.” I felt her body tense underneath my fingers as she processed my words, but it was too late for her now. My hand still over her mouth, I stopped her from screaming or fighting me in any way.

“Just relax, honey. Doesn’t it feel so good?” I mocked, fucking her harder and harder as my control slipped from me. “It feels good for me, too. So now you’ll have to take it.”

Reaching around for her clit, I started rubbing it in quick little motions, desperate to feel her cunt clenching around me once more, milking my cum.

“C’mon, pretty girl. Cum again for me. Let me keep making you feel good as you do the same for me.” Her orgasm had her legs raising between mine, right when I started to spill inside of her, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. Once I was sure she wouldn’t scream, I took my hand away and pushed her back against the desk, massaging her ass eagerly, hoping it would take.

“You’ll look so good all round with my child.” Once I pulled my cock from her, I made sure to adjust her underwear so it would stop my cum from flowing, massaging the damp tissue with a smug expression.

She managed to turn around in my embrace, blinking confusedly, mouth opening and closing as if she couldn’t quite figure out what she wanted to say, and I cooed at her adorableness.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take good care of you and the little one.” I rubbed my hand over where she would soon grow, licking my lips at the mental image of her pregnant. God, why did that make me so hard?

“You can trust me,” I assured her, pulling her closer to I could kiss her forehead, before adjusting her body so it rested on mine. I knew there were tears rolling down her cheeks, but it was just from her coming down from the adrenaline high. She wanted this. She just needed to be able to think clearly to see just how perfect this would be. “We’ll be so happy together.”

[fanimesenseiwrites]

Ok, I know I just gave you a request before this, but I actually would love to see how the brothers + the Angels (and the Succubi 😏😂) react to an MC that ACTUALLY HAS BDE, and is a total fucking Dom down to their core (No submitting for this bitch, they literally can’t without being severely uncomfortable and that’s not sexy at all 😤)

I really love this idea so much actually.

And it's not that I love this one more than your other one, but this one felt a little easier to write to me.

NSFW-ish : nothing explicit but mentions of bdsm and sexy times

Everyone's Reaction to a Dominant MC:

Lucifer:

Before he comes to like the MC he HATES their dominant personality.

To him it comes off as defiant and bossy (talk about the pot calling the kettle black)

But after he gets to know the MC and grows to love them, he finds it incredibly attractive

The problem is that, he's normally the dom...

He's a bit conflicted.

MC doesn't like being dominated at all and he's only into it every once in a blue moon

So they end up being more of kindred spirits, and exchange "advice" about dominating their partners

Mammon:

He thinks the MC is kinda bossy, which he'll say he doesn't like, but he actually kinda likes it...?

But when MC praises him? That's what he really likes.

He'll do anything if MC will praise him for it

It doesn't even have to be sexual, he'd stop stealing if MC calls him "my good boy"

Well, he says he would. He can't help himself sometimes...

But if MC doles out the punishment? He won't even run.

He can't quite figure it out, (he's a fucking sub he just won't admit it) but it's not so bad when MC punishes him. And it's not because MC goes easy on him.

Leviathan:

Both him and the MC are in for a bit of a surprise when they're getting onto him about his messy room one day

It's really not unusual for his room to be messy. But for whatever reason, MC is really upset about it today.

"... you lazy, pathetic shut-in...!"

"Ah... don't stop..." Levi whines.

MC is taken off guard at first, even blushes a little. "Wait... so you want me to call you names?"

Levi goes red as a cherry. "Y-yeah... I mean, if you want to..."

MC grins. "So you want me tell you how pitiful and filthy you are?" They run their hands over his shoulders teasingly.

Levi nods. Did he get even redder??

MC grins mischievously. "Okay... but you gotta clean your room first."

Levi frowns. "Wait..."

"Do it or I'll compliment you."

"Don't..." he begs softly.

"Levi, you're so smart and handsome and good at video games..." MC teases.

"No! O. M. G. Shut up!" He immediately starts cleaning up.

MC is grinning like the Cheshire Cat after figuring it all out.

Satan:

Satan only likes MC's dominant side when they turn it on Lucifer. He just finds it entertaining as hell.

But he absolutely does not like it when it gets turned on him though. Because, well...

They remind him of Lucifer when they're like that.

Also, he tends to be more of a dominant personality himself so...

MC will be nice and not act like that with Satan, but they can really just be friends in that case

Asmodeus:

MC being dominant is really really sexy to him

Asmo isn't so much of sub as much as he'll kinda just do whatever to get off

But Asmo is definitely bratty, he thinks it makes it more fun if MC has to work for what they want

MC doesn't mind so much, they like to play too

They're also an excellent brat tamer 😏

Beelzebub:

Beel doesn't mind MC being dominant if that's what they like

He really does prefer them being on top anyways

MC can't bring themself to do anything crazy with Beel though because he's just such a good boy

They'd feel bad even if Beel says he's cool with it

And he really is cool with it, he's really chill as long as they communicate

(Which you should be doing anyways!)

Belphegor:

This man is the definition of brat energy.

It's just so much easier to not do something than to do whatever MC wants them to do

Belphie is a little torn about how he feels about MC being so dominant

On the one hand, he loves fucking with them and he likes that MC wants to do all the work more or less

But on the other hand, they get pushy and bossy and then they remind him of Lucifer

Definitely not sexy to think about your older brother, whether you like him or not

Diavolo:

Ya know those CEOs, etc that spend all day being in charge and so every once in a while they just wanna let go and be dominated? Yeah, that's definitely our crown prince

He's such an obedient little sub, he'll do anything the MC tells him to do, he's just so happy to not be in charge for once

MC is really good about being respectful to Diavolo in front of folks, but as soon as that bedroom door closes... 😏

Barbatos:

He loves MC being dominant as long as it's being used for keeping the brothers in line or helping Lord Diavolo relax...

But when MC is dominant towards him... ehh....

He's really more of a switch himself, and even then he's not into anything... hardcore.

While he doesn't hold the same status as Lord Diavolo, he still is a person who is very much in control and sometimes he needs to let go and relax

But he also likes being in control.

So if he can't ever dominate MC, he's more than happy to just be friends with them

Solomon:

Solomon is... an interesting case.

We all know this man radiates brat energy. Like all day long. To everyone.

And MC kinda loves it, but they also hate it.

At this point in his life, Solomon finds having power kinda... meh

I mean, when you were once a king and have been the most powerful sorcerer, at some point having power just isn't interesting

So he likes playing the part of the (bratty) sub

But its Solomon, and he likes to push the envelope...

He tried to do something domineering with MC ONCE, and it caused him to be defenestrated.

Solomon is decidedly not a brat for a long time after that.

Simeon:

He finds it amusing how the MC bosses the brothers around so easily

But when they want to do... things with him, he's a little unsure.

It's not new territory for him in terms of knowledge, but it is in terms of practice.

MC is fascinated by the idea of dominating an angel. In a way, it feels like they're corrupting him.

Well, Simeon's willing to try (almost) anything once.

MC is gentle with Simeon, even if their words aren't

Simeon actually likes it. And he'll never be into impact play but he enjoys being tied up.

Luke:

Luke is LIVING for MC bossing the brothers around.

It's only what they deserve (so he thinks)

But sometimes, MC will say something bossy and their voice sounds different, lower...

Then Simeon covers his ears.

He doesn't know why Simeon keeps doing that. He really wants to hear MC boss the brothers around...

Succubi:

They're astounded. They're in awe. They're horny af watching MC boss the brothers around.

They talk amongst each other about MC so much.

"Do you think they're really a dom or are they just bossy?"

"Do you think the brothers like it or is MC just like this all the time?"

"... do you think they'd... with me?"

They all think that. They all hope for that.

And they really really wanna ask but... well they're all subs, god demon king bless them.

A couple of them get the courage to ask but then they get nervous during the execution and MC is not exactly the sharpest tack...

So MC literally has no idea how many demons want to fuck them....

Until Valentine's Day that is.

Dom MC is not easily overwhelmed. But the sheer amount of presents they get... and how many of them are from succubi that want to be dominated by them...

MC is really flattered but also wildly embarrassed. They lock themself in their room for a few days while they think of the best way to easily let down a bunch of horny succubi.

It goes better than one would expect saying "no" to a bunch of demons would... but it is not without disappointment and more embarrassment.

MC locks themself away again after having to do all that.

MC will be okay, but they might need some mental aftercare from their favorite boy afterwards

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding X

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Part I - - - - - Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV - - - - - Part V - - -  - - Part VI - - - - - Part VII - - - - - Part VIII - - - - - Part IX

“I realize this is incredibly difficult,” the Nautolan Soul Healer said calmly. “But in order for us to help Obi-Wan, we need to determine the cause of his current disconnection with reality. Based on the drug panel, and convenient surveillance, we have, to the best of our ability, ruled out temporary psychosis brought on by a drug interaction.”

Cody stiffened further, not sure how to react to anything anymore. When a brother tried to end his own life, it was usually obvious why.

Sife Aerdo continued on. “There have, of course, been cases of Jedi Seers giveing into their fears of the future, or losing their sense of reality, but every case study involving such an extreme reaction was the result a gradual degradation over the course of many years. Nevertheless, it seems clear that Obi-Wan experienced a vision, and it may have impacted his breakdown to some extent. The more we know, the more successful any attempts to convince him of reality will be.”

Bant furrowed her brow in thought, trying to replay three decades of increasingly vague discussions of nightmares.

”Considering the high profile nature of his position, we cannot rule out some kind of psychological attack, perhaps even a darksider incursion.

Anakin leaned forward intently, the inside of his skull buzzing with white noise.

"All that being said, we must be prepared to treat Obi-Wan’s self harm as the  culmination of a long and quiet mental health struggle. He would not be the first in the Order to disguise such a thing with durasteel self-discipline.”

At that, Bant and Mace took a moment to release their feelings to the force, while Anakin raised his shields defensively.

Master Aerdo finally hesitated, before continuing in the same smooth tone. “I would ordinarily prefer to structure this kind of conversation quite differently- allow Obi-Wan time to share his feelings first and invite you each separately to support him in the healing process. But he’s gone from fighting sedatives and force compulsions as though the fate of the galaxy depended on it, to a self-induced coma. All while barely lucid, yet still somehow maintaining Master Class mental shielding. We need to get a better understanding of his mental landscape if we’re going to even begin the process of treatment."

It is necessary to note that everyone in that room had led, in one way or another, a somewhat miserable life. This was the main reason none of them could claim that the next five hours were the worst they had ever experienced. 

“But he’s always had terrible sleeping habits.” Anakin said hoarsely.

“Yes, but I think they got worse after Qui-Gon passed,” Bant argued, not sure what point she was making. 

“When I pointed out he couldn’t be getting more than three hours a night he told me that he could manage on meditation” Cody offered irritably.

“That’s technically true,” Mace confirmed. “If the Master in question is well-balanced otherwise”

“So its like his eating habits, crushing responsibilities, and repeated exposure to violence, then? Completely fine for a Jedi, in less it’s not, in which case it’s a major red flag?” 

“I think it would help to establish a timeline.“

Aerdo actually dredged up old mission reports, leading to the group reluctantly contacting Ashoka for her memories of Mortis.

At her Master’s insistence, she told them everything she remembered, hazy as it was, nervously elaborating on her own memories of falling. To her confusion, Master Windu all but brushed past that, assuring her that the important thing with stepping into darkness was the choice to the return to the light. Anakin bizarrely agreed with Windu. Out loud. Unnerved by the cooperation more than anything, she put her holographic foot down and demanded to know what was going on. 

Anakin took the comm-link into a separate room to speak privately.

Upon return, he informed the group (with a visibly red and puffy face) that Kit would be escorting her back from Mount Cala cleanup early, daring anyone to disagree. Windu nodded and the conversation continued on.

Together they rewatched holo-footage of Obi-Wan laughing amongst Ghost company the night before last, and debated reports from psychometric investigators who had scoured the cantina as well as Obi-Wan’s personal quarters for traces of illicit substances. Between that and another drug panel, they were finally forced to conclude that despite the timing, the alcohol at most confused Obi-Wan’s perception of a vision, or possibly simply loosened his tongue.

Bant prodded Cody to repeat every word from the holocar ride to the temple, taking furious notes. Cody was unable to stop the heat that crawled up his face.

Just when the looming horror of Obi-Wan actually preparing to intentionally die started to break over Anakin, Windu interjected.

“You don’t see what I do,” the Harun Kal said grimly. “Something galaxy-sized shattered around Obi-Wan and he didn’t break from it. The closest comparison I have is Master Yaddle’s presence when she meditated on her confinement. He’s chosen to keep going, even when, quite frankly, death would be a release. We’re missing something fundamental.”

“He said there were ‘other dark forces at work.’ Even if the fight was objectively hopeless... there’s no way he would choose to die because of it!” Anakin agreed vehemently, shaking off morbid fears.

“But he did choose to die.” Cody said quietly. And the wind went out of Anakin’s sails.

“Lets go back.”

Anakin gritted his teeth as they picked apart everything ‘unusual’ Obi-Wan had said and done leading up to his visit with Bant.

“What exactly did he...”

“So Plo Koon was able to get a read through his shields?”

“Did he have anything to eat?”

“How did that compare to...”

“When he's mentioned things in the future...did it seem good or bad to you?” Bant asked.

“Bad.” Cody and Anakin said in unison. Remembering the trip to the temple Cody spoke again, “Definitely bad.”

“Right. When we were talking he sometimes used the wrong tenses for things, people. I confronted him on not knowing ‘when’ he was after Knight Skywalker left. He told me that he knew what was real, but he was “enjoying not fully living in the moment” he also said that he intended to “wake up”

“Enjoying? That’s the exact word he used?” Cody asked incredulous. 

“He did seem...mostly happy yesterday. Giddy, at points.” Anakin said, slumping in on himself.

Bant looked at her notes once more before addressing the group.

“This isn’t vision psychosis in any manner I’ve heard of before...but I think I might have a theory. He used to have intense visions when we were kids; plenty of us did sometimes, but Obi-Wan would be unable to sleep after. What terrified him more than anything was the uncertainty that he might make the wrong choice- even when the vision was about something good, or neutral. His visions gradually stopped coming around puberty. We just had a conversation about this a few months ago- how relieved he was to only have to manage flashes of precognition. If he had a random, horrifying vision of a terrible future...suicide wouldn’t be his reaction. It’s too final.”

“Even if he blamed himself for what he saw coming?” Mace asked.

“Especially if he blamed himself.” Bant said. 

“What’s your theory?” Aerdo prodded.

“What if...what if he was telling the truth when he said he could separate out what was real and what was not? What if there was no distortion or blurring between now and then? What if he was just wrong about which was which?”

“That...would be a very extreme and abnormal manifestation of force-induced psychosis. He has training in distinguishing reality from visions. The continued presence of his mental shielding means that the fabric of his mind can’t be so horrifically collapsed in on itself.” 

“What if the vision was actually that realistic?” Bant said, pushing back against the soul healer. “So detailed and vivid that it effectively was a reality in itself, and everything else, all of us...”

“Were just memories” Anakin finished. “It would...actually explain pretty much everything. You said he wanted to wake up and when...when I found him.” He stopped, swallowing. “When I found him, he argued with me...what if he wasn’t trying to hurt himself? If you’re right...that would mean I found him trying to get back to reality.”

“It could explain his behavior in the halls...his desperation to wake...” Sife mused “But it runs counter to every other experience I’ve had with those managing prophetic visions. Master Windu, could that explain the shatterpoints you saw?”

“I’m not certain. It would have to have been extraordinarily real to create the echos of Shattering I witnessed. I don’t know if that depth of vision has occurred before, but then again, many things are possible in the force.”

“You really think he might have been...trying to wake up from dream? By killing himself?!” Cody asked incredulous.

“If that ends up being what happened I am going to give him such shit. That is the worst way to end a vision.” Anakin replied.

“Yes. It is.” Bant said pointedly. “That’s why it’s a last resort, after every other attempt to wake fails.” 

They all sat in silence, processing various implications. Cody was unnerved by another terrifying insight into force powers, as well as the idea that the General might vividly remember Cody being inexplicably mind-controlled into trying to kill him. Anakin was trying to understand what this would mean for them, and the conversations he had thought they had had. Did...any of it count, if he thought he was offering it to a hallucination?

“Alright, this is a valuable working idea, but let’s make sure to examine everything with an open mind before we draw any more conclusions. Anakin, what happened after you left the healers office?”

Obi-Wan’s critique of the practicalities of visiting a soul healer could be and was interpreted multiple ways. The incongruity of peacekeepers in war sparked a rehash of earlier discussion. More apologies. Self identifying as ‘crazy’ inspired new debate, especially in the context of the new theory. 

“When I saw him enter the fountain room I assumed he had had a brutal run-in with  dark force user.” Windu explained. “Based on everything we’ve gone over, I don’t understand when...but some of the more insidious sith compulsions work by taking whatever small anger or hurt you feel and magnifying them until they consume you. If Obi-Wan was already experiencing self loathing...”

Cody sucked in a breath. “Then a Sith mind suggestion would bring him to commit suicide. It...sounds like something he might do, if he was partially in control. Take the blow rather than let himself be used as a weapon against anyone else, even his worst enemy.”

“Hells, it could have been an even vaguer compulsion, driving him to attack the person he hates the most,” Bant added darkly.

Anakin buried his head in his hands, trying to hold it together. He couldn’t afford to lose control or get angry. Hells, getting angry at Obi-Wan for ‘failing him’ when in pain could be the reason Obi-Wan was currently in the healing halls. The man said he loved him unconditionally, then practically had a breakdown over how much Anakin pushed that unconditional love to the breaking point, then killed himself. How was he supposed to-

“Anakin? Are you alright to continue?” someone said.

“Yes. No. There’s more I have to tell you...I don’t know if it will help but - it was hurting Obi-Wan...I...”

“Let’s just take it one step at a time. What happened after you left Mace?”

Apparently even Cody somehow knew more about Bruck Chun than Anakin. Master Windu and Eerin told different sides of the same sad story, which spiraled back into a conversation about Obi-Wan’s inadequacy issues, which somehow devolved into a long rant about Qui-Gon Jinn that Master Windu had apparently been holding back for years. 

“My apologies.” He said afterwards, clearing his throat as the group stared, taken aback. “Old grievances. Go on Anakin, what did happened after you got to the ‘secret spot.’”

“He...was skirting around whatever was bothering him...I pushed him...told him I wanted to help...he said I couldn’t...because it was me...because of what I...”

Anakin stood up suddenly, feeling the walls of the room closing in.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry I-” 

He ran out.

He turned around almost immediately, pacing in the small corridor, knowing he couldn’t leave, simply needing a minute to catch his breath.

Master Windu followed him out after a moment, not saying anything, just standing there. Watching him.

“What!” Anakin finally snapped. “What do you have to say that I don’t know already!”

“Knight Skywalker-”

“Don’t call me that! I DON’T DESERVE-” 

Anakin let out a frustrated snarl, punching a wall. The crumble of stone beneath this fist briefly made him feel better, but then he remembered Obi-Wan’s heartbroken expression in the light of an underworldly glow, and the tiny, choked sound he heard when the healers moved him and Anakin just...collapsed, falling to his knees.

Master Windu sank down gracefully beside him.

“Anakin. This isn’t about attachment issues, is it.”

“Not really, no. I mean, maybe you’ll blame attachment but it’s more about...”

“Anger.”

Anakin looked up at that, trying to regain the meditative calm he had felt for a glimmering moment yesterday, right in-between making peace in the cave and everything burning to ash. 

“You know that I have had my own struggles with anger. It is how and why I came to develop Vaapad.” 

“Yes, but you’ve Mastered your anger. And you’ve never...never given in to hate.”

A beat passed and Windu watched some of Skywalker’s familiar breaking points flicker into view. 

“You’ve done something. Something you know the Jedi won’t forgive.”

“Obi-Wan forgave me.” Anakin said, whispering. “He said that even though I couldn’t fix what I did he loved me anyway and I just needed to...to honestly regret what I did and not do it again. I told him I’d get rid of my lightsaber and I meant it and...I thought he forgave me. I was ready to go to the Council with him, come clean about everything. And then I left him alone to get dinner and when I came back...he was holding my lightsaber. My lightsaber.” 

Anakin buried his face in his hands, shuddering with creeping cold.

“I’m not going to critique your and Obi-Wan’s attachment to each other right now. I’m well aware that much of the order has turned to personal ties to maintain their stability given the ongoing horrors of war. I am, for many reasons, wary of the risks this brings us, yet it is also true that risks do not automatically mean failure. I myself have mastered my emotions in a different manner than conventional wisdom councils.” 

Windu spoke carefully. For all that he and Anakin had similar relationships with the force, they rarely saw eye to eye on any given subject. At a certain point, Mace had accepted that the volatile young man was determined to find the worst possible interpretation for anything he said. And Mace was not the order’s most patient diplomat.

“As for your crime, whatever it is, l will tell you this: Unless you choose to renounce the code and leave our number, you will be treated as a Jedi Knight, subject to our protections, as well as our judgement. You will receive appropriate mental counseling. If you are judged to be a danger to those around you, your actions will be curtailed and monitored, possibly through temporary confinement.  The Jedi do not believe in punitive measures for their own sake, but you may be required to provide restitution to those you harmed, perhaps indefinitely. 

Silence hung perilously between them. Windu watched a tremor run through the unfathomable kaleidoscopic of shatterpoints that had orbited Skywalker since he was a boy. A small one broke inward, and an attached tangle of larger, darker ones fell away, crumbling to dust. The rest faded from view, invisible for the moment. A choice had been made, some decision that closed off at least one path to the darkside.

“There’s no one to make restitutions to.”

“...You’re going to have to elaborate on that.”

“Let’s go back inside- I don’t want to do this twice.”

They returned to the increasingly hated meeting room.

Anakin spoke in an outpouring of words about love and hate, about misplaced revenge and now uncertain forgiveness. When he finally finished, the room was deathly silent.

The three Jedi sat quietly while Cody pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess this is why Jedi have the no attachment rule, huh? I admit I never really got it, but I suppose even if I-”

Bant abruptly lunged up, fumbling to bring her lightsaber to Anakin’s neck. Everyone jumped to their feet, except for Anakin, who stared at Bant with a wretched expression.

“MASTER EERIN! This is not-”

“Did you do it?” she asked, ignoring the Master of the Order.

“Bant!”

“It was my first thought after I saw him. We all rushed in expecting a fight, or a bomb, only to find you, insane, and him with a hole next to his heart. I didn’t want to believe it of course, but you’ve always had a violent streak that Obi-Wan, force help him, couldn’t quite soothe away. A fight gone wrong. Master Windu said it was suicide, and I believed him, and I’ve been trying to make sense of that ever since. But Mace found you after, didn’t he? After you felt guilty? Did you think he was going to turn on you?”

“Bant Eerin, you are dangerously-”

“No.” Anakin whispered.

“Obviously I might be why. But I didn’t- I couldn’t. I know I’m not good but I can’t even imagine- holding a saber against him like that. Kriff, do you not get how much I can’t handle losing people I love? I was insane when you saw me because I saw someone trying to kill Obi-Wan and I couldn’t even fight them.”  

Bant held his gaze for several lingering seconds, deactivated her saber and dropping it with a clatter. They stared at each other, breathing heavily and not blinking. She returned to her seat, moving jerkily. “I apologize Knight Skywalker. That was uncalled for.” 

“I wish I could say I wouldn’t have done the same thing in your shoes” he responded lowly. Bant made a tiny, unintelligible noise in reply. 

Cody collapsed back into his chair, holstering his blaster.  “Alright then...so after you finished sitting in the fountain room...what happened next?”

Everyone stared at him.

“What?”

“You’re handling Anakin’s confession somewhat dispassionately. We’re simply surprised.” Mace said slowly, returning to his seat at the same time as Master Aerdo fell into theirs.

Cody shifted uncomfortably. “The vod were trained in a wide range of enemy suppression tactics. While we’re extremely glad the Jedi have never asked us to employ them, I’m not...unfamiliar with this scale of deliberate slaughter. At least in the hypothetical, sir.”

“I see.” Aerdo said. “That is a valuable insight to have, thank you. Knight Skywalker-”

“Just...call me Anakin. Or Skywalker.”

“Anakin. When did this happen?”

“About two years ago, immediately before the First Battle of Geonosis.”

“And have you had any similar experiences with giving into the darkside since?” they asked placidly.

“I don’t think so but...we went to war the next day and....I don’t know if I’ve stopped fighting since it- since I did what I did.”

“Hmm. Anakin, would you mind stepping outside the room and waiting in the corridor for a moment please?” 

He bit his tongue, tasting blood, and quietly walked out the door while the Masters decided his fate. He leaned back against a wall, desperately wanting to see Padme. 

To his surprise, the door opened barely a few minutes later, and he was politely invited back in.

“Anakin.” Master Windu spoke. “Thank you for telling us this. It’s an important insight into Obi-Wan’s feelings right now, and I recognize that you could have kept it a secret. As Head of the Order, and with the advice of a Senior Soul Healer, I have made a decision. You will be assigned a personal soul healer, who you will start seeing tomorrow. Commander Cody pointed out that over nearly two years of continuous warfare, you have maintained some of the the lowest trooper casualty units of any division, by a significant margin if we evaluate based on mission risk level. Your civilian and enemy casualties will be reviewed, but even considering constant war, since your massacre of the Tuskens, you have clearly managed to at least... direct your violence away from the innocent. We do not consider you a threat to the inhabitants of the world. For the time being, I see no real benefit to limiting or tracking your behavior within the temple or on planet, but you are barred from leaving orbit. I have decided to delay a full reckoning before the council until such time that your former Master is well enough to provide his own opinion. Give me just cause, and I will have you confined to a force-suppressing cell. Do you understand?”

Anakin nodded, bowing in acknowledgment. All things considered, it was...honestly better than he expected.

“Now, as Cody” Windu paused. “My apologies, as the Commander was saying-” 

“Cody’s fine, sir” Cody said, wrung out in a way different from anything Kamino had trained him for.

“...I think we can all consider ourselves on a first name basis at this point.” Bant said with a snort. She paused. “That includes you Anakin. I really don’t know how to handle what you did but kark it, I don’t want to hate you. For myself.”

Everyone nodded.

“As Cody was saying, what happened next?”

Peace. Comfort. Hunger. A warning in the force...

-

“I tried to pull the saber back but his finger was already on the igniter...” 

“You probably saved his life. Even a second later-”

“I know, that’s almost the worst part.”

-

“-his neck”

“Why would he change weapons?”

“What if-”

-

“He said what to you and Healer Che?”

“That has to support the detailed vision idea, think about-”

“I’m sorry, Emperor?”

-

“I think we’re done.”

Anakin stared blankly at Sife. “But we didn’t figure anything out.”

“Not conclusively, but we’re unlikely to make any more progress, you’ve given me enough information to preform a meaningful meditative scan, or guide a conversation, should Obi-Wan wake, or navigate through his mind, should we decide to make a more decisive attempt at his shields.”

“Master Aerdo... I leave the final judgement up to you, but I strongly urge you to make a more decisive attempt. I am more convinced now than I was...” Mace glanced at the chronometer “five hours ago that this was motivated by a specific, external stimuli, likely dark. Do you disagree?”

“No.” they said with a sigh. “But I don’t want to underestimate how much underlying factors might have contributed to his response to stimuli, including underlying factors that none of you were aware of.”

The Nautolan Soul Healer stood up, tucking their hands into their sleeves to address the room with classical Jedi serenity. It was a little irritating.

“In any case, we all need to sleep, eat, and meditate. Master Eerin, you have the rest of the day off, I've cleared it with Master Che already. Master Windu, I leave the final judgement up to you, and I am aware that your duties as Master of the Order are unceasing, but I urge you to take some time to center yourself before returning to the council. Commander Cody, I would be more than willing to arrange soul healing for you or any of the Vod, please let me know. Anakin, you will receive a comm later today with further details on your future healing sessions. 

They bowed low, then glided out the door.

Bant stood next, bowed individually to each soul, and sped walked out.

Commander Cody cleared his throat awkwardly, “Mace- what should I tell the troops? We’re supposed to have command briefings later tonight.”

“If anyone asks about General Kenobi, tell them its classified.” I’ll schedule a briefing on the subject. Now go find Captain Rex and take care of yourself, that’s an order.”

Cody saluted, first to the high General, then to Anakin.

Finally it was just Mace and Anakin.

“Is there anyone who you trust who I can call to stay with you.” Master Windu asked.

“I can manage on my own” Anakin replied, not willing to give the Master of the Order anything else he could use against him, even after everything.

Master Windu held back a sigh.

He continued once more, making a deliberate attempt to soften his tone. “Anakin- I know we’ve had our differences, but this is not a trick, nor a trap. You’ve suffered a series of great shocks in the last 24 hours and handled them with immense maturity. I myself am struggling to deal with the emotional fallout.”

Anakin looked up at that, surprised. He didn’t seem to be struggling, but maybe that was what made him a good Jedi Master...

“As I told you before, I am not going to begrudge you the comfort of attachment. I’m rather convinced it would do you more harm than good at this point. I don’t want you flying right now, and you don’t have to be alone. I hope we have come to a better understanding today, but I doubt my presence is suddenly a comfort, though please correct me if I’m wrong. Now is there someone I can call?”

-

Padme ended her call with Master Windu extremely discomfited. She had barely heard from Anakin since he ran out on her the night before last to take care of an apparently extremely drunk Obi-Wan. He had messaged her a few times that night, promising to make it up to her, but had been comm-silent since. She had been starting to get worried, and now the Master of the Order was asking her to pick him up from the temple. Fortunately, she had already cleared most of her meetings for the week well in advance (Courascant leave usually meant THEM time, not that she was jealous of Obi-Wan, of course).

The speeder ride back from the temple was silent. All Anakin would say was that he would explain everything once they were in ‘a secure location.’ 

The door to the apartment had scarcely closed behind them when Anakin fell into her arms, shaking.

“Anakin, talk to me love, what’s wrong?” She gently guided him to the couch, arranging him so she could hold him protectively.

“Obi-Wan tried to kill himself.”

She let out a harsh gasp, “No! He can’t have, he would never-” 

“I got to him in time, but Padme... he was holding a lightsaber to his heart. It was...really close” He burrowed deeper into the folds of her dress, and she gripped him fiercely.

“Oh gods, is he-”

“He’s physically healing, but he’s still...not all there. I spent all of today locked in a room, trying to figure out if it was a Sith Attack, or an insane vision, or..or me”

“Anakin! What do you mean ‘me’ - Obi-Wan loves you, you-”

“I know.” Anakin interrupted her again, knowing he was being unfair; he was just too exhausted to be patient.

“He told me loved me. He...he...found out about what I did to the Tusken village, You should have seen his face, Padme, he was horrified, but he still told me he loved me, and he was willing to forgive me, even though he shouldn’t”

“Of course he forgave you,” Padme whispered. “You’re not a monster, Anakin, I know you would never do something like that again.”

"And then after we talked, I left him alone and he-” Anakin choked out into her dress.

Tears ran down her face, heart breaking. “That’s- that’s horrible. Anakin...it must have have been a attack, Obi-Wan wouldn’t do that.” she said urgently.

He pulled away, horrified. “I made you cry. I made Obi-Wan cry too. I’m sorry- Padme please, promise me you won’t-”

She grabbed the sides of his head. 

Her nails bit into the soft skin behind his ears as she pulled him down so they were face-to-face, vowing, “Never. I swear by the force itself, I will never choose death over life.”

He let out a relieved sigh, eyes fluttering closed.

“Now you,” she demanded

“As long as I have anyone to live for, I swear by the force, I will never choose death over life.”

She pulled him the rest of the way in for a bruising kiss. He lifted her, and they desperately clung at one another as he carried her to bed. They continued like that, clinging and grasping, until exhaustion carried him to sleep. She pulled the covers over top them both and curled around him defensively as the day slowly faded away.

Part XI

[harryhandstan]

or the one where you forget harry’s birthday and try desperately to make it up to him

just wanted to write something small to try to get back into writing after my break! thank you all for your encouragement, excitement, and patience and I apologize for it being a few days later than I wanted it to be! this is probably the closest to angst that you’ll ever get from me :)

thank you to @1980holland, @summertimestyles, @tbslenthusiast, @bigspoonstyles​, @angryinternetduck, and @iconicharry for letting me run my ideas by you and being so kind in general. more thanks to @tbslenthusiast and @bigspoonstyles for being the most wonderful beta readers and just lovely friends overall!

this is another part of my dad!harry series so as always they are linked in order if you want to re-visit them or read from the beginning if you choose to!

⭐ I Want Your Belly ⭐ Wonderful and Warm ⭐ Washed Away in You ⭐ Do You Want to Build a Snowman? ⭐ A Styles Family Christmas ⭐

word count: 3.6k

“Harry, I’m running late do you think you could drop Sterling off at the sitter’s on your way to set?”

You’re already dressed, pulling on your shoes and grabbing your bag and keys from where they were tossed next to the dresser from the evening before. You dart into the bathroom to quickly brush your teeth.

Harry pokes his head around the doorframe, a wrinkled shirt in his hand, rushing through his own morning routine, “Thought she was coming here?”

“She can’t today, remember? Today’s our day to drop him off.” You put your toothbrush away just as he joins you, taking the toothpaste from your hand to use for himself.

“Alright, yeah. Y’ll have to pick him up later though, think it’ll be a late one for me today.” 

“That’s fine. I’ll throw his bag together and leave it by the door for you to grab on the way out. He’s already been fed and changed so he should be all set. I’ll transfer his car seat to your car too, so you won’t have to worry about that.”

He still has the toothbrush in his mouth, so you stand on your tiptoes to give him a peck to the cheek, adding a “bye, love you!” on your way out the bathroom door.

“Wait..y’don’t have anything else to say to me before you leave?” His mouth now rinsed, he crosses his arms and leans against the doorway, a tired smile working its way across his lips.

“Um..be careful? Don’t drive too fast with Sterling in the car.” 

“I never drive fast,” He takes a quick peek in the mirror, running his hands through his messy curls before turning back to you, “S’that all? Nothing else to say?”

You search your brain, trying to remember anything else you may have forgotten, “Oh! Right..”

His face lights up then, thinking maybe he was gonna finally hear the words he’d been waiting all morning to hear from you.  

“Make sure you tell the sitter there’s an extra pacifier in the right side of his bag that she can leave there in his cubby in case we ever forget one..and that I’ll drop a pack of diapers and wipes off when I pick him up cause I know he’s running low.”

His brow furrows slightly with disappointment, but you’re too busy to notice, blowing him another kiss before rushing out the door of your shared bedroom and down the hall to get Sterling’s bag ready.

He’s still pouting as he opens his top drawer to select a pair of socks for the day.

He couldn’t believe you forgot it was his birthday.

In your opinion, 6 weeks was not long enough for maternity leave. You’re sure no amount of time in your happy bubble with Harry and Sterling would’ve been enough. 

You were somehow able to push those 6 weeks to 12, your boss kindly agreeing to let you do what work you could from home. Eventually, that extension had to come to an end though and there was no other way you could avoid returning to ‘normal’ life.

You’re an hour into your work day but you still can’t shake the feeling that you had truly forgotten something. Harry’s words from the morning ring through your head again and again but you still couldn’t pinpoint what was special about this particular day. It was a Monday..was there some sort of significant anniversary from your relationship over the years, something small but important to him? 

You grab your phone when you have a chance, a quick lull in your morning that allows you to scroll through your phone’s calendar to double check anything your phone may have not yet notified you about. There’s nothing saved, and it does nothing to jog your memory of what importance today’s date holds. 

A text from Anne comes through and your heart stops when you read the message: Tell the birthday boy his present from me is on the way! I was a day later than I should’ve been sending it out so hope he won’t be too upset with me. All my love to you and Sterling as well!

No. Oh no. Guilt bubbles up through your chest and you cover your mouth to stop from cursing too loudly and scaring your nearby coworkers. You have to steady your hand so you can navigate your way through your contacts to Harry’s number, trying to calculate where in his schedule for the day he may be now. It was too early for him to be taking a lunch break, but you silently prayed he would be on a break in between filming scenes that would allow him to answer.

He had told you in the past that even if he wasn’t able to have his phone with him, it was always nearby. Especially now that you had Sterling, he tried to make himself available no matter how busy his schedule would be for the day. Even if he wasn’t able to answer, he would always make time to call back. 

So when you try 2 times with no success of getting through, you stop. You had both agreed before that 3 calls was your distress signal, and you didn’t want his mind to think the worst when he did see you’d tried to get through to him. A text seems too informal, too little for the man you love and adore. He deserved better than that, better than you, a partner who forgot one of the most important days where he should be made to feel special and loved every second.

It wasn’t like you didn’t know this day was coming, you did, of course you did. Being a new parent had well and truly ruined your memory. Turns out birthing a tiny human requires learning a ton of new information to keep your little one alive, meaning that even almost 3 months later your brain hadn’t been fully restored and you weren’t sure if it ever would be. 

How could you make up for something like this? You suppose you could pretend that it was all a joke; that you’d had this elaborate plan all along to surprise him and make him think that you had forgotten his birthday. But you couldn’t lie to him like that, it would only cause you to hate yourself even more later for covering it up. Plus, Harry knew you too well and would see right through that, and then whatever hurt you’re sure he was feeling now would only grow. 

You know he would eventually forgive you, if he hadn’t already, but that didn’t stop guilt from overriding your thoughts. If anything it made you feel almost worse knowing that he would be so incredibly forgiving.

God, you could only imagine the reaction of the fans if they found out. Some of them already had some questionable opinions about you, a few even going so far as to speculate if Sterling was truly Harry’s child, claiming that you had somehow “trapped” Harry into a relationship with you and that it would eventually fail. Harry had tried to ban you from going too deep, but sometimes your curiosity got the best of you, prompting you to scroll through Twitter or Instagram occasionally. It usually ended with you getting your feelings hurt and Harry having to remind you once again to stay away.

You try to find something in your memory, anything that he may have mentioned wanting (or at this point even needing) over the past few months. Aside from the mundane, everyday things like laundry detergent and shampoo to add to the shopping list, you couldn’t recall a thing. You only had 6 hours before you had to pick up Sterling, so you had to come up with something fast, something amazing.

What do you get for the golden boy who has everything?

You couldn’t believe you didn’t think of it before. It was something you had discovered not long after Sterling’s birth, but like many other things it had gotten easily dismissed and pushed down to the bottom of your list. 

Today, it only takes a few clicks through the website, a double checking of the spelling of the name that will be on the certificate, and a quick selection of a location for where you want it to be for Harry to now be the (hopefully) proud owner of his very own star in the sky.

After all it was Harry who found the name Sterling for your child, it was him who whispered “buonanotte nostra piccola stella” each night as he helped you put Sterling to bed; a phrase he had been most pleased with himself for learning, the Italian to English translation being “goodnight our little star”. If he couldn’t be there to say it, he made sure you knew the proper enunciation of the expression so that you could pass it along from him. It was always followed by 3 kisses to the top of his son’s head.

Thankfully, you were able to use the printer at work to print out the certificate and the map, slipping them both into a manilla envelope and tucking it away in your bag before you clock out for the day. Though you wished you had time to stop and select a nice frame, you only have 30 minutes before having to pick up Sterling, so you opt for a speedy trip to the nearest bakery and grocery store to gather what other supplies you’ll need for the rest of the evening.

By the time you and Sterling make it home, you still haven’t heard anything from Harry. You send up another silent prayer, more for his safety than anything, but also selfishly for yourself and his forgiveness towards you. It wasn’t unusual for you to not hear from him most days, and you remind yourself of his words from that morning about most likely having to work late. 

You push away the guilt that threatens to invade your thoughts again, doing what you need to do for Sterling to keep him content while you start preparations for dinner. Once you have him settled in his swing nearby, you take a moment to scroll through your music selection on your phone, deciding that having something playing in the background would be better than being alone with your thoughts while you work. 

You’ve just washed the veggies to chop for the salad when your phone dings, indicating a new message. You know it’s from Harry, and you’re almost scared to look. Instant relief floods your body when you do have the courage to take a peek: Home in an hour. Love you! Give bub kisses from me xx

The “love you” fills you with overwhelming comfort; takes you back to the day you first met him and how your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was you he was trailing through the crowd of people to approach, a cozy smile plastered on his face. You’ll never forget the gentle way he had spoken and how even though you were surrounded by at least a hundred other people at the party, he didn’t take his eyes off you the whole night. You let out a huge sigh of breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in and contemplate the best way to respond, finally concluding that simple was better.

Be careful, baby. Love you more!! Bubs and I miss you

His text gives you more motivation than you already had to power through making his favorite meal for him. An hour is plenty of time to get everything done, so when Sterling gets fussy and wants to be held, you tuck him against your side, doing what you can with one hand while keeping a tight grip on your son. You know he had missed you when he almost instantly relaxes at being close to you, and your heart hurts at the thought of ever being away from him again, even for something important like your job.

It still takes you a minute to get him calm enough to rest his head on your shoulder, so you don’t hear the sound of the door, or the clink of Harry’s keys or the sound of his footsteps falling down the hallway.

“Need some help, lovie?”

His voice, which normally calms you, nearly makes you jump out of your skin. So when you turn and say, “I thought you said an hour!” it comes out more like an attack than grateful to see him again.

“S’what I thought but we rushed through so I could leave earlier. Is that a problem?” His face is unreadable, somewhere between confused and disappointed with your tone.

“No! Of course not, Harry, I just..” That’s when your voice breaks, your guilt and emotions of forgetting his birthday finally being too much to hold back.

“Hey, don’t do that,” He’s moving the rest of the way through the kitchen to you, a hand smoothing a small circle over your back as you try to wipe your tears, “Please don’t cry.”

“I just wanted to have everything ready by the time you got home, to make up for this morning. For forgetting it was your birthday in the first place. I’m so sorry, H.” 

“You’ve got nothin’ to apologize for, angel. You don’t have to make anything up to me. We’ve both been crazy busy lately, I’m surprised I even remembered what day it was. Here, why don’t I put Sterling in his swing and help you finish dinner?”

“No, absolutely not. It’s your birthday and I know you’re tired. Plus, I think he missed us today. You know how much he loves his swing but I didn’t get very much done before he got upset.”

“Alright, well, I’ll take him while you get everything else done. How’s that sound?”

You nod an agreement at his plan, transferring Sterling from your shoulder to his. There’s a few whimpers of disapproval, but he lets out a small sigh of contentment once he realizes it’s Harry who holds him now. Harry turns his head to smack a few kisses to the baby’s cheek to further pacify him. Sterling’s eyes open briefly, gazing sleepily up at his father. 

“Hi, bub, missed you. Let’s go see what kind of trouble we can get into while Mummy makes dinner, huh?” 

“Not too much trouble, boys. It’s almost bedtime,” He winks at you as he turns to leave and you stop him, “Hey, wait, try this. Tell me if it needs anything.”

You stir a spoon through the pasta sauce you’ve had simmering away on the stove, bringing it to his lips with a hand underneath, careful not to drip it down the front of his white button-up or the top of Sterling’s head. He lets you feed him the spoonful, but doesn’t take his eyes off your lips.  Before you even have time to ask him how it is, he’s trapping his mouth against yours, a satisfied hum at the sauce mixing with the taste of you.

“Delicious.” He runs his tongue along his bottom lip, catching a bit of sauce that ended up smudged at the corner of his mouth.

“Really?”

“Really, darling, it’s perfect.” 

At this point it’s obvious he’s not talking about the sauce, and you push yourself up to plant another kiss on his lips.

“Another,” He gently demands, and you oblige, but he doesn’t pull away yet, “C’mon, few more.”

“Looks like Sterling’s not the only needy baby in this house tonight. How many more kisses do you need?”

He smirks down at you, “It’s my 27th birthday, innit? Think I deserve 27 kisses, don’t you?”

You send him away with the promise of fulfilling his request for the rest of his kisses later, finally able to rush through finishing the last of what was needed to complete the meal and call him back to see the table full of everything you’ve prepared. 

Sterling is bright eyed in Harry’s arms again, and you hope that feeding him will lull him back to sleep for the night. With him having to stay with a sitter on the days that you and Harry were both working, you’d recently had to switch to using bottles for some of his meals. The sitter had assured you that he was adjusting to the bottle well when he was with her, but it had been a frustrating transition for you. 

“You’ve just spoiled him to the usual way, love. It’ll get easier. Want me to try?” He holds out his hand, offering to take the bottle and Sterling back, but you refuse. You know Harry’s right, it will get easier eventually, but right now you know he’s just still tired and hungry. So you give in, lifting your shirt and tossing a blanket over him while he eats. 

“Eat so you can blow out your candles and then open your present.”

He sets a plate of food in front of you and passes you a fork so you can eat with your free hand.

His mouth is full of food but his green eyes light up when he looks at you, “I have a present?” 

“Of course you do. It’s your birthday, isn’t it?” 

“Can we skip cake and do the present first?”

You giggle at his excitement, but the truth is you’re nervous. You know he will be nice enough to tell you he loves it, but you also know him well enough to read the truth on his face. 

“Sure, birthday boy, whatever you want.” Sterling’s finished eating by now so you rest him on your shoulder, tapping his back a few times until you hear a small burp. Harry’s plate is mostly empty now, as is yours, so you tuck Sterling into his swing while you go to retrieve the envelope from earlier in the day. Your heart races as you may your way back to where he sits at the table, his eyes covered dramatically as he waits.

“You can open,” You slide the envelope in front of him and prop your chin up on one of your hands as you watch his fingers work to open the clasp. The papers sit upside down on the table and you inhale a deep breath as he flips them over. His face is full of curiosity as his eyes scan the page. 

“Did you..is this real?”

“Well I’m not sure how official it is but, yes, it’s real.” You take the map from behind the certificate and point out the location, “According to this it’s..”

“Is my star right over our house?” His eyes are wide as he studies the coordinates, “Can we go see if we can see it now?”

How can you say no to that? You let him lead you out the back door of your home and out into the cool air of the night. He only lets go of your hand when he reaches the edge of the yard, pointing straight upwards.

“It’s gotta be that big one, right? That mine, right?” You look over his shoulder down at the map and then back up to where he’s pointing.

“Yep, I think that’s the one. Unless..do you have the map upside down?”

“No! Do I?” He squints his eyes, bringing it closer to his face in an attempt to read it in the dark. 

“You definitely did. It’s that one there..to the left of the big one we thought was yours.”

“S’gorgeous, baby,” He tugs your hand until your smushed against his side and he tosses his arm around you, letting out a deep sigh as he continues to stare up at the sky, “Thank you so much.”

“You really like it?” You’ve got both arms wrapped around his middle now, enjoying the feeling of his chest rising and falling.

“I really do, angel. Can’t believe you named a star after me twice.” 

“Twice?” You tilt your head upwards to look at his face.

“Yeah. Twice. That one,” He points up again, “My favorite one though, the greatest gift you will probably ever give me, is probably snoring in his swing right about now.”

As sweet as the moment is, you can’t help but snort out a laugh at that, “If he’s anything like you, he’s definitely snoring right now.”

“Hey, I don’t snore!”

“Oh yes, you do. Feel like I’m sleeping in a cave with a bear sometimes.”

That earns you a big, booming laugh from him, and he pulls you even closer to kiss the top of your head. You turn your body to face him, squeezing him once and kissing his chest through his shirt.

“Happy birthday, Harry.”

“Thank you,” He places his hands on either side of your face, thumbs rubbing along your cheeks, a slow smile sneaking its way across his face, “Can I have the rest of my kisses now?”

The next time Anne and Gemma come to visit, he’s sweeping them down to the end of the hallway leading into your living room, to where he now proudly shows them the framed certificate and map sitting side by side on the wall. Of course they had both already heard about it before. The day after his birthday he had spent 10 minutes on the phone with each of them bragging about it. He’s got Sterling in his arms as he shows it off now. He holds him up next to the two frames.

“How lucky am I, huh? Not every man can say they have two stars named after them, can they?”

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