#but they both acknowledge the other part here

[readingiskeepingmegoing]

The fact that you posted this on my birthday made me squeal with glee!

My first thoughts were of the way Dieter had taken care of me in every way possible after the show. He brought me home, made an amazing dinner, and ran a hot bath as he promised. He joined me in the tub, massaging my neck, shoulders, and back as he his lips trailed behind his hands - managing to get me completely relaxed and turned on in the process. He followed that with a scalp massage as he washed the product from my hair before rinsing with the handheld sprayer. I offered to wash his in return since it still had all of the gel in it from the show, but he refused, instead drying me off and sending me to bed while he jumped in the shower.

He really is an acts of service love language kind of guy, isn't he? His desire to give the care which he himself has lacked is so adorable

He really was putting in the effort to experience all forms of intimacy, always looking out for me and taking care of me in ways that Alec had never even tried.

Asshat Alec! Such a douchebag. 😒

Even as my brain shouted at me to slow things down, my body craved him.

Kat is all of us, and we are Kat!

He smiled and nodded against the pillow, “So good. It’s so much better with you here.”  I felt my heart flutter as his chocolate eyes danced around my face. I could see that strange look there again, like he wanted to say something but didn’t. 

Both of them just need to say it. Acknowledge that it has happened fast and that they need to be careful, but stop dancing around the subject (pun fully intended) 😂

He continued, “I’ll get a new number, OK? I was thinking about doing it anyway because I’m pretty sure one of my dealers texted me the other day…I blocked him…just so we’re clear.” 

I love that his first thought is to get a new number and not try to just explain it away. That is a lot growth from Dieteer, pre-rehab pre-Kat Dieter wouldn't have done that.

A soft curl fell down over his eyes as he glanced down to place his hands and began strumming a bluesy intro. His demeanor shifted, seeming almost melancholy as he began to sing.

🥹

That song is so perfect for Dieter, it made me really emotional.

He lifted his head, pressing it against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter.   “Thank you for coming. I needed this…needed you.”  

I love that they are so in tune with each other. 

There was no question about it now, I was in love with him. It ran deeper than it ever had with Alec or anyone else. The realization caused my heart to race as the anxiety set in. Was this too fast? Too soon? We’re either of us really ready for this?  

Is it too fast? Probably.  

Is it too soon? More than likely.  

Are they both ready for it? Absolutely!  

“I think I should maybe tell you why I had such a strong reaction to the Alec thing…it’s sort of the root of everything…why I am the way I am…” 

😭

It explains so much. My heart aches for him.  

I love that Evan has been there for him from the beginning though.  

Things were definitely evolving between us, yet again. After the events from earlier in the day, I could tell something had changed. It was like all of the broken pieces of our being were slowly falling back into place and somehow converging into one. With every new piece that found its place, our connection steadily grew. Part of me questioned if it was real or just being overblown and intensified by the circumstances we found ourselves in. I hated to think like that, but it was something to consider.  

Dont over think it Kat. Just let it happen. You both need it, and you need each other. 

He huffed as he mumbled out a gravelly, “Fine.” Then he turned, snuggling Zee instead. “Guess I’ll just cuddle my other cat then.”  

She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down, “I thought he was done bringing hussies home?” 

I love Cora instantly. No nonsense is precisely what Dieter needs to keep him in line. 

She sighed, “Kat, seriously?” She paused and rubbed at the crease between her brows as she continued, “So there is something to that TMZ article then? Please tell me he at least fucked some sense into you and made ya realize that Alec was a shitty lay?” 

🙌🏻

I feel like Lydia and Cora would get along famously. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with it, woman. You don’t have to have freshly cooked protein with every meal.” 

You've spoiled her, there's no going back now. She's a queen and will only accept queenly meals. 

Omg he did the foot thing! 

He reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face as he took me in, “You know…I wouldn’t be upset if every night for the rest of my life ended like this…with us together…you make me happier than I ever thought possible.”   He kissed the top of my head, seeming to sense my anxiety, then leaned his cheek against it as he spoke, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that…I wanna take things at a pace you're OK with. I don’t want you to feel rushed. I mean it when I say you’re important to me and…I don’t wanna fuck this up.” 

Get out of your head Kat. Just let him love you the way you deserve. It will heal you both.  

There was no question about my feelings for her. I knew I was in love, but did the intensity between us mean she felt the same about me?

She does, she'll get to the point where she can tell you, just keep doing what you're doing.

“What do they mean when they say SuccDee? Is that a dirty plant joke? I don’t understand the context.” 

That made me cackle so hard.

This fact was sort of blowing my mind as I peeked over at Zee, the mention of her name rousing her from a deep sleep. “Damn Zee, I wish you could talk. I wanna know what they say…Maybe I should talk to them more?”

Oh, we need to have Kat sneak up on Dieter while he's talking to the plants!

Zee chose that moment to paw a glass that was still about one fourth of the way full of water off the coffee table, which broke our spell and the glass. 

Zee is getting so naughty. I can't decide if she's feeling a bit put out that her parents are paying each other more attention than they are paying her or if she now feels completely comfortable and at home and this is the real Zee, Mischief Maker #1.

She snorted, “My plants are lucky to get water. They come to my house to survive, not live.”  I shook my head and scoffed out a laugh, “That’s just depressing. Don’t tell me that. Imma have to start checking in on them.” 

Hmmm, how long until those plants relocate to Dieter's house?

I hadn't recovered from reading the beach/kitchen scene in the teaser!

I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me, “I kind of don’t care. I’m going with it. I’ll head it off and do a cryptic Instagram post. Besides, it might be fun to fuck with Stacia and Joe some. I wanna see their heads explode when they realize their fairytale showmance isn’t happening after all.”

Bahahahahahaha! Stacia will be devastated 🤣

I chuckled, “Ahh, filling up the spank bank then. I’m flattered.” I gave her a cocky grin and waggled my eyebrows, “If you want some nudes all you have to do is ask. I might even let you take them yourself.” 

I posted it. There was no caption, only emojis, “👉👌🤯🤯🤯😏” 

He's such a menace.

As I was finishing up with Zee’s gourmet meal, Kat came into the kitchen. Her brows furrowed as she pointed her finger to something behind me and busted out her best mom voice, “Zee, don’t you dare.” 

Zee is so naughty, she gets that from her daddy.

I gave him my new number, then he sent me a text message so I could save his to my contact list. That was a development I wasn’t expecting, but I was strangely happy about it.

This made me emotional. He's growing his circle and finding friends. I love this for him 🥹

Marc seemed extremely interested in this, leaning forward with excitement in his eyes, “That’s amazing. I was actually considering doing the same. I still haven’t decided if I’m gonna do another season or not…but I did want to look at something like that when I’m finished. Maybe we can team up.” 

That sounds like such an amazing idea. I think it would work well for all involved.

They definitely fucked, at least once.  Nobody pay attention to that vibrating sound… This is how pornos start. I’m not mad about it.  So, IT IS a throuple then?  I think Dieter’s secret lady likes to watch. I don’t blame her…Kat’s ass is a work of art.  I’m still calling it a conspiracy. Kat is the beach chic. I know that ass and those thighs.  

The Dieterina stans are definitely not buying their little ruse.

We need more friendly get-togethers like this, while Dieter and Kat are building their little family at home, they are also building their community.

That song is so perfect for Dieter and Kat, I'm so glad you liked it 😘

Marc was still chuckling as he said, “I’m sure Stacia and Joe are gonna have a lot to say about that.”

Hahahahaha, Stacia going to be trying her damndest to figure what is going on and what she can use for ratings.

I don’t think I paid a lick of attention to anything the judges actually said. All I know is we got another perfect score, putting us in first place - again.

As if they could be anywhere else. It has to be killing Alec that they are doing so well.

I 100% blame Mr. Pascal for his holiday beach antics.

It's like he knew you needed a little something to get you going 😂

Dieter and Kat are getting pretty close. They are completely embedding each other in the other's life. All of Dieter's people know now and Kat's sister knows. Dieter is pouring his heart out and sharing about his past, yet Kat is still in her head about everything. Do we smell drama brewing there?

I feel like at some point Kat is going to have a wobbly moment and try to shut Dieter out, and he's going to have to do his damnedest to coax her out of her spiral.

They've also made some new friends. How are we feeling about Marc and crew? Good or bad?

I love that they are making friends. It's good that they have support against Alec, Stacia and Joe.

Dieter has started his Instagram live shit. More to come on that. Also...his Instagram posts, that man is stirring up all the drama with those. Good or bad idea?

I loved his Live. It could be a good outlet for him, as long as people keep their peace in the comments. He's not going to stand for any disrespect of Kat from anyone.

Closed Position: Week 7 (Paso Doble)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 28.5k (I went off the rails again.)

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence (not by or toward Dieter), past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

👉 Chapter Warnings: Dieter and Kat both being a menace, smut, fluff, angst in the form of discussions about childhood trauma (including homophobic comments)

Chapter Quote: “I actually meant what I said earlier…I’m bending you over the counter and fucking you when we get back to the house.”

Kat’s POV When I awoke on Tuesday morning, my body felt strangely satiated after the previous evening's exploits. My mind, however, was swirling with more thoughts and emotions than I could process. My first thoughts were of the way Dieter had taken care of me in every way possible after the show. He brought me home, made an amazing dinner, and ran a hot bath as he promised. He joined me in the tub, massaging my neck, shoulders, and back as he his lips trailed behind his hands - managing to get me completely relaxed and turned on in the process. He followed that with a scalp massage as he washed the product from my hair before rinsing with the handheld sprayer. I offered to wash his in return since it still had all of the gel in it from the show, but he refused, instead drying me off and sending me to bed while he jumped in the shower. I didn’t even bother to get dressed, choosing to collapse into the fluffy duvet completely naked.

I was lying stretched out on my stomach when Dieter came out of the bathroom and crawled up my body, continuing where he left off as he massaged my thighs and hips for several minutes. He eventually moved upward, peppering kisses along my spine until he reached my neck. I tilted my head to give him better access as he rubbed his patchy beard against my skin. The length of his body pressed against mine, which made it obvious he was aroused. 

His teeth grazed my earlobe, causing me to moan and arch my ass upward into him. He nipped and sucked at my neck as he pressed his hard length against me. My hand found its way to the hair at the top of his head, tugging slightly as I told him I needed him again. He wasted no time, positioning himself at my entrance and slowly sinking in. He covered my body with his, pinning me to the bed as he began his steady, but slow rhythm. After propping himself up on his left elbow, his hand found mine and entwined our fingers together, squeezing it tightly. His right hand roamed my body before finding a home under my chin, tilting my head back so he could give me an upside-down kiss on the lips. 

As things got more intense, I collapsed, face down into the plush bedding as he continued to lavish my neck and shoulder with attention from his mouth. My fingers tangled in his hair again as I turned my head to search for his lips. After a passionate kiss, he pulled away and rested his forehead against the side of my temple. We stayed like that for a time, inhaling each other's breath and getting lost in the sensations that our bodies were creating as we moved as one. 

It was almost foreign to me, how he could make any position feel that intimate. It didn’t matter if we could stare deeply into each other's eyes or not, I could still feel the connection with him. It was there in the way he touched and held me. Our bodies communicated in ways I had never experienced - using all the senses to bond us together. I surmised that it had to be because of the way that we spent our time together, building something that I couldn’t really understand or explain. 

The past week with Dieter had been strangely domesticated. It was full of homemade meals and lots of cuddling. He stuck to his word about keeping this thing between us as something more, not always turning to sex for a connection. He really was putting in the effort to experience all forms of intimacy, always looking out for me and taking care of me in ways that Alec had never even tried. I hated him doing so much, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Even when things would get heated between us, he would keep his focus on me and expect nothing in return. Always being perfectly satisfied with a good cuddle and head scratches.

However, after all of our incredibly intimate moments, I still felt like he was holding something back. I could see it in his eyes, often swimming with some sort of emotion. I didn’t want to push him because I knew he would open up eventually. I did sometimes worry that he was hiding something that he thought might upset me. For as connected as we were, it still felt like parts of him were a mystery.

Those thoughts didn’t seem to dampen my need to be near him though. The one night I went home to rest because I wasn’t feeling well was strangely lonely and unsettling. I didn’t get a lot of sleep, having thoughts of Alec sneaking in under the cover of darkness and choking me in my slumber definitely didn’t help. I hadn’t felt that anxious since the incident, now realizing it was because of Dieter. He was keeping those fears away without even trying. They were gone as soon as I reunited with him. When I went to his house the following night, I fell asleep without a worry in the world because he was there with me. 

I did appreciate Dieter’s need to focus on intimacy outside of sex. We managed a whole week without it, but after all the closeness of the week and the fire that blazed between us during our Argentine Tango performance, I couldn’t hold out anymore. I shocked myself when I suggested we fuck in the dressing room. That was one thing I had never done even though Alec tried to initiate it multiple times. I was always too worried about getting caught. It was different with Dieter though. He was slowly waking something up inside of me that I didn’t recognize. The way I craved him had reached a boiling point and I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wanted him in every way he would let me have him. 

I had never really been a fan of rough sex in the past, but as with everything else, it was different with Dieter. There was the connection between us of course, but he was also passionate. He somehow managed to turn it into something else, full of emotion and sensuality. It was a lot to process and to be honest, the sheer aching need that I had for him was scaring the hell out of me. He was quickly becoming an addiction for me. The way he made me feel confident, desired, and cared for was all the things that I had been missing, and it was thrilling. Even as my brain shouted at me to slow things down, my body craved him. After fucking in the dressing room, I still needed more. 

As his body moved against mine, his scent completely engulfed me - making me feel intoxicated by him. My skin was tingling from his affectionate touches, my lips burning from his passionate kisses, and my heart skipping beats from whatever this emotion was that was taking over my very being. His soft sighs and deep groans against my ear sent shivers down my spine and had me coming undone underneath him in no time. He followed soon after, nearly collapsing on top of me before moving to the left, still half draped across my body. 

His hands ghosted over my skin as he placed the occasional kiss on my shoulder, eventually dozing off for the night after flipping the duvet over us. That was how we still found ourselves this morning, his steady exhales blowing against the base of my neck, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. I could feel the weight of Zee laying across my feet, both of them cocooning me in warmth. Everything about it felt so right, yet a little voice in the back of my head still questioned it. It was almost too good to be true. 

Dieter stirred, nuzzling his face further into the crook of my neck as he inhaled deeply and hugged me tighter against him. 

My sleep filled voice greeted him, “Good morning.”

He sighed as he kissed my shoulder, “Morning, beautiful.” 

To Zee’s dismay, I turned over to face him. She grumbled as she got situated again. We both snickered at her before turning our attention back to each other. I could partially make out a crease down the side of his face from laying on the blanket. I smiled as I ran my finger along it. “You sleep well?” I finally asked. 

He smiled and nodded against the pillow, “So good. It’s so much better with you here.” 

I felt my heart flutter as his chocolate eyes danced around my face. I could see that strange look there again, like he wanted to say something but didn’t. 

I cleared my throat, “You ready for another production meeting this morning?”

He rolled his eyes, inhaling deeply before answering. “I don’t see why we have to meet with them every week. Can’t they just send that shit in an email?”

I chuckled, “They could…but then they couldn’t be nosey and try to make drama for the show.”

“Ugh, such bullshit. Why can’t they just let the show be about dancing?”

I gave him a tight smile, “That’s not how they get high ratings.” 

Dieter's phone rang on the nightstand, ruining our morning chat. He sighed, turning to grab the shrilling device and finding his agent’s name flashing across the screen. He pressed ‘answer’ and brought it to his ear, “You should know better than to call me this early in the morning, Lenny.” 

I could hear a deep chuckle on the other end of the line, “Sorry to call you so early, D…but we have a potential issue. There are rumors circulating that there was a serious altercation with you and Kat’s ex last week. Is there any truth to that? Does that have anything to do with the schedule changes?”

Dieter puffed air out of his cheeks as he glanced over at me. He had obviously kept his agent in the dark about that. 

“There was…a minor incident. He attacked Kat and I pulled him off her. They did change our schedules around so that Kat doesn’t have to be near him.” 

“Damnit Dieter…can you please stay out of trouble? You’re on the upswing right now…”

I could tell Dieter was frustrated as his jaw tensed. “Sorry Len, but I’m not gonna stand by while someone close to me gets mistreated. I’m sure the public can understand that.” 

Lenny sighed loudly into the phone, “Fine…you’re right. I’ll get Janine on it and see if she can put out the fire. If you get any questions about it, don’t answer them. Maybe it’ll go away. I’m told there are some pap pics of the guy though…and his face is busted up. So, I’m not sure if it will.” 

Dieter’s brows furrowed, “Is he saying anything about it?”

“No, it’s mostly speculation I think…but they know for sure there have been schedule changes. It’s TMZ, you know how they draw conclusions about shit.” 

Dieter nodded, “Yeah, well…my lips are sealed. I’m confident Janine can handle it as long as that douchebag isn’t running his mouth. I’m sure he doesn’t want people to know about it anyway.”

The call ended soon after that as it was time for us to get ready for our production meeting. It wasn’t long before we found ourselves sitting in front of our two favorite people, Stacia and Joe. They were unusually pleasant, making small talk and checking in with me to make sure I was doing ok, and that Alec hadn’t been out of line since they had apparently had a conversation with him after our last meeting. Stacia, of course, complemented our last performance, making a point to mention how great our chemistry was on the dance floor. She was fishing for anything she could get her hands on, but we gave her nothing. We politely thanked her and redirected our conversation to this week's performance. 

I had to bite back a groan when Joe gave us our dance for the week, the Paso Doble with a traditional Spanish style song called Uccen. It was definitely going to wear me out. I had a feeling Dieter would enjoy it since the dance was more focused on the man’s performance, but I could already envision him whining about how tired he was. 

They handed over the costume sketches, putting us both in all red again, which wasn’t unusual. Black and red were pretty typical looks for this dance.  My costume had a Spanish feel to it with layers of fabric that bunched up in the back. It was shorter in the front and very flowy. It had a halter top with the same flowy fabric draped to cover the necessary areas, leaving the back completely open. They had Dieter in a red suit with a textured button up shirt. After approving the looks, we were pretty much done with the meeting. I was thankful this one was drama free. I did not need my day ruined by them. 

After the meeting, we continued our tradition of grabbing lunch together. We settled on a small cafe nearby. The staff seated us on the outdoor patio, so we made sure to be on our best behavior because there were eyes everywhere. We were even approached by a few fans to take pictures and happily obliged. Dieter was all smiles as he interacted with them, seeming perfectly at ease while I was still trying to get used to having this much attention from strangers. He seemed to sense my anxiousness, smiling gently as he reached over to give my hand a quick squeeze after they left us. 

(More after the graphic.)

We were off to the dance studio for rehearsals after that, beginning the week like we always did, by listening to our song. Dieter’s head bobbed along with the fast-paced Spanish and mediterranean style guitars mixed with folk undertones. It was obvious this would be different from anything we had done thus far. 

Once the music concluded, I clapped my hands together dramatically, “Ok, Bravo. You’re probably about to love and hate this dance.”

His brows furrowed, “Why?”

I huffed out a laugh, “Because it’s dramatic and fun, but it’s also gonna wear your ass out.” 

His brows arched as he gave me a wide-eyed stare, “I mean, you do that already.” 

I rolled my eyes and fought a smile as I stood from where we were seated on the floor, then pulled him up to join me.

“So, the Paso Doble comes from sixteenth century Spain and France. It literally translates to ‘double step’ and it’s very high energy and very…theatrical…meant to imitate a bullfighter and his cape. You would be the matador in this instance…the star of the show. I need you to have strong posture and emote power with your body and facial expressions. I’ll be your cape, with more graceful and fluid movements at times. We’re gonna be doing sort of a marching style rhythm with staccato footwork along with that. Like I said, it’s fun…but tiring.” 

Dieter gave me a tight smile, “Can we look at some videos of this before we get started? I feel like that might help get me going. I have a feeling what I’m envisioning ain’t it.” 

I couldn’t help but laugh at him. At least he was honest. He went into full work mode after that, studying each video I pulled up for him. After an hour of video watching and making notes on some things that stood out to us, we got started on the basics. He picked those up quickly, allowing us to begin planning our choreography. 

As predicted, Dieter was gasping for air and whining about being exhausted before the rehearsal time was over. Not that I could blame him, I was too. And it was only the first day. He was doing amazing though, and I made sure to tell him as much. I knew he would enjoy the theatrics of this dance which helped make up for how much work was involved. 

We basically crashed when we got back to his place. After seven and a half hours of going non-stop, we were spent. We barely had the energy to eat dinner and shower before climbing into bed early, tangling ourselves up together and zonking out for the night. 

We started our Wednesday morning off with Dieter receiving a text from Janine, his publicist. It was a link to a newly posted TMZ article.

I watched as he leaned across the kitchen island and scanned the article. His eyes crossed as he let out an annoyed groan and passed the phone to me. 

(More after the graphic.)

Dieterina Spotted Getting Cozy During Lunch After Alleged On-Set Drama Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) fan favorites Dieter Bravo and Katarina Stamos were spotted having lunch at a LA cafe yesterday. Witnesses say they seemed very cozy and touchy during their meal in between posing for pictures with fans.  This sighting comes after rumors began to circulate about a possible altercation between Dieter and Kat’s ex, professional dancer Alec Balaska, after last week's live show. If you recall, Dieter and Kat set the ballroom ablaze with their sultry performance and intense chemistry during their Argentine Tango, which earned them a perfect score for the week. It’s easy to see how that could have caused tensions to rise backstage. We have no confirmation that Dieter and Kat are officially an item, but they definitely seem to be getting close.  TMZ sources have not confirmed the altercation took place, but we can confirm there have been schedule changes that appear to have happened in an effort to keep Dieter and Kat separated from Alec as much as possible. It must also be noted that Kat did not dance with the same group as Alec during last week’s professional performances, which could help back those claims.  Alec was spotted out and about in LA with his DWTS partner and new love interest, Lana Thompson, earlier this week. He appeared to have bruises on his face but gave no response as to how he got them. His reps refused to comment. We reached out to Dieter’s publicist who also refused to comment on the situation. 

Included with the article were pictures of Dieter and I at the cafe. There were several with his hand resting atop mine as he smiled my way. There were also several zoomed in stills of our Argentine Tango performance along with an embedded video and pictures of Alec and Lana seated in Alec’s car. 

I sighed, “They really will post anything for clicks, won’t they?”

Dieter nodded, “Yep, bullshit…as usual. For all they know, he could have fallen on his face during rehearsal. It’s plausible…I’ve done it enough to know.” 

I chuckled, nodding in agreement. Just as I was about to hand Dieter’s phone back, a text popped up. There was no name, only a number. I felt my stomach drop when I unintentionally read the message. 

646-333-4545: It was nice bumping into you. Call me, so we can get together. I do miss having your mouth on me. 😉

I slid the phone toward him as I tried to control my breathing, “Umm…you have a text.” 

He picked up his phone, brows furrowing in confusion as he read it. “I have no idea who that is…I’ve not bumped into anyone.” 

I watched as he swiped, then selected ‘block’ on the screen.

I didn’t say anything, but my face must have. When he finally looked at me, I could see the worry in his eyes. 

He began shaking his head as he approached me, “I swear I don’t know who that is…maybe that actress from New York? I haven’t bumped into anyone besides her…I didn’t even have the number saved. I-I’ve been getting a lot of texts like this since SNL…people trying to hit me up to party. I’ve blocked them all, you can check. Maybe I just need to get a new number…I deleted everyone I didn’t need to talk to when I got out of rehab. I swear…”

The longer he rambled, the more panicked he sounded. I took a deep centering breath, realizing I needed to give him some leniency. It was obvious he didn’t have the number saved, and that bitch had been pushy. 

He continued, “I’ll get a new number, OK? I was thinking about doing it anyway because I’m pretty sure one of my dealers texted me the other day…I blocked him…just so we’re clear.” 

I gave him a tight smile as I reached to cup his cheek, “Hey, it's OK. I believe you.” 

He visibly relaxed into my touch, “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m doing shady shit, because I’m not. I won’t do that to you.” 

The rational part of my brain finally caught up to my emotions. We've spent ninety-five percent of our time together since we got back from New York. I would have noticed something if he was talking to other people. He was rarely on his phone, and when he was, I was usually at his side looking at it with him as we watched funny videos together.

I pulled him in for a hug, “It’s OK. I have no reason to think you’re lying.”

He backed away, “Imma text Evan right now actually…and have him take care of all that. I want zero doubts.” 

And he did text Evan after that. I never would have asked him to change his number, but the fact that he offered and got right on it did make me feel better. Alec never would have offered. It was another reminder of how completely different they were. 

Dieter made sure to take a few minutes to apologize, cuddling on the couch before I had to leave for the professional's dance rehearsal and him for his weekly therapy session. By the time I walked out the door with promises to meet up with him at the dance studio for our evening rehearsal, the whole incident was an afterthought.    

The professional’s dance rehearsal definitely had a new vibe. I could tell other cast members were looking at me differently - curiosity maybe? I tried not to pay them any attention, allowing Marc to distract me from it when we weren’t receiving instructions. He and Stefanie both had become allies in this whole mess. Given that they knew what actually happened, I had to respect that they were keeping the information quiet while not so subtly choosing a side. Marc had mentioned that people were asking him what he knew, but he refused to comment. He really was a good guy, I hadn’t given him enough credit for that in the past. 

Once we wrapped up rehearsal for the day, I made my way over to grab my water bottle. As I took small sips, I picked up my phone to scroll through the missed notifications. I had a text message from my sister asking why she hadn’t heard from me and telling me to call her. Since I had been spending all of my free time with Dieter, I had pretty much gone radio silent with her. I shot her a quick response, promising to call her the following day since we had a late rehearsal. 

I was silently debating if I should tell my sister about my relationship with Dieter as I moved on to the Instagram notifications. My brows furrowed when I came to the notification that said, ‘bangingbravo1 was live (45 min ago)’.  Well, that’s new. 

I quickly collected my things, telling Marc goodbye as I made my way to the car. After tossing my bag into the back, I sank down into the driver’s seat, pulling my phone out as I closed and locked the doors. My curiosity was making me anxious to see what Dieter was up to since this wasn’t something he normally did. I wasted no time opening Instagram and clicking the notification. He was no longer live, but the video was posted to his story. 

It appeared that he was sitting in the same spot he had been in when he and I played guitars together all those weeks ago. His black acoustic sat perched on his lap as he briefly fiddled with the camera. He then proceeded to strum and tune the instrument for a short time before glancing up and smiling, welcoming his growing number of viewers. He took a few minutes, answering questions that popped up - some about Zee, some about his plants. Someone must have asked about me, causing him to smirk as he explained that I was at dance rehearsal for the professionals, noting that he and I would be rehearsing later in the day. Then he cleared his throat, getting to the reason for going live.

“So…I’ve been getting a lot of messages and comments asking me to do more playing and singing. I hear you…so, we’re gonna give this a try and see how it goes.”

A soft curl fell down over his eyes as he glanced down to place his hands and began strumming a bluesy intro. His demeanor shifted, seeming almost melancholy as he began to sing.

This song has two very different versions and I love both. Give them a listen. 🎶Version 1 🎶 Version 2

When the sins of my father / Weigh down in my soul / And the pain of my mother / Will not let me go / Well, I know there can come fire from the sky / To refine the purest of kings / And even though I know this fire brings me pain / Even so, And just the same

His voice was full of emotion and grit as his unblinking eyes fixed on something just out of frame. He sounded soulful, but there was an edge of pain to the lyrics as they appeared to have deeper meaning to him. I knew him well enough to know that he was feeling the words, seeming to dredge up old memories or feelings. It had me wondering what he had discussed with his therapist that morning, because I knew he didn’t pick that song at random. Music was an outlet for him. It meant something. 

All seed needs the water / Before it grows out of the ground / But it just keeps on getting hard / And the hunger more profound / Well, I know there can come tears from the eyes / But they may as well all be in vain / Even though I know these tears come with pain / Even so, And just the same

His line of sight drifted, appearing to focus on nothing as he took on a far-away look. A deep crease formed between his brows, his eyes turning somewhat glassy as he belted out the next verse. I had never seen him like this, but I knew that look all too well from experience. He was reliving something from his past. Something painful that had potentially shaped him into the man he had become - both the old and new version of himself. 

And let the clouds fill with thunderous applause / And let lightning be the veins / And fill the sky with all that they can drop / When it's time to make a change

As he finished out the song with the last few refrains of the chorus, I realized tears were streaming down my cheeks. Every hair on my body was standing on end as my flesh pebbled from the sound of his voice. I could feel it in my soul. The connection that he and I seemed to share only made me feel it that much deeper. I couldn’t recall anything ever having affected me like this before. 

After the last lyric left his lips, he inhaled deeply to center himself. He sat silently for a beat, then his eyes flicked up to the camera. They were pools of emotion as he gave a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He was obviously reading the flood of comments filling the stream. Then he finally spoke. 

“You all are too kind…it’s more than I probably deserve.” 

He paused, swallowing thickly as he continued to read the comments. He nodded, “I’ll uhh, yeah, I’ll do another live soon…thank you.”

After saying his goodbyes, the stream ended. I had to take a moment to pull myself together. We were supposed to meet at the dance studio for rehearsal in an hour and a half, but I couldn’t wait. Something told me that I needed to go to him. So, I did. 

When I got to his house, I knocked and rang the doorbell, but there was no answer. Figuring he was still upstairs and maybe couldn’t hear it, I tried the doorknob. To my surprise, it was unlocked. So, I let myself in and headed toward his sanctuary. 

I found him with wireless headphones on, slouched back into the chair and lazily strumming the strings on his guitar. He still had that vacant far-away look in his eyes as he stared at nothing. My movement in the doorway must have caught his attention because his eyes snapped toward me as he paused his motions. 

His brows furrowed as he pulled the headphones off, giving a small smile as he asked, “What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at the dance studio?”

Moving toward him, I could tell something was off. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I hated it. As I stood in front of him, our gazes met. He sighed, then placed the guitar back on its stand next to the chair and set the headphones on the floor beside it. His eyes met mine as he worried at his bottom lip with his teeth. 

“Are you OK?” I finally asked. 

His shoulders slumped as he leaned back in his seat and scratched at his patchy beard, now avoiding my gaze. 

“No. But I’m gettin’ there. One day at a time…”

My feet carried me forward as I reached to run my hands through the top of his messy curls. He sighed as his arms found their way around my waist, pulling me to him so he could rest his head against my chest. I needed to be closer, shifting so that I could raise first the right, then the left leg to straddle his lap. He hugged me tighter as he buried his face into the curve of my neck and inhaled deeply. I could feel him relaxing more and more with each breath that he took. 

He lifted his head, pressing it against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter. 

“Thank you for coming. I needed this…needed you.” 

My nose brushed against his, “You have me. Tell me what you need from me.” 

He shook his head, “I…I don’t know.”

My right hand moved to his chest. I could feel his heart thrumming away under my palm as his eyes pooled with tears and his breathing became shallow. He seemed lost. I needed to bring him back and ground him to the present. 

After extracting myself from his embrace, I stood, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. I pulled him into a deep kiss, eventually breaking away to slowly undress him and trail soft touches and kisses along his body. His hands explored every inch of newly exposed skin as I undressed myself next. Once we were bare, I led him to the bed where we both lay down facing each other. He pulled me against him, tangling limbs together as we held each other. His face found its way back to the curve of my neck as he took deep and steady breaths to calm himself. I cradled his head against me, gently running my fingers through his fluffy curls to soothe him. 

We stayed like that for a time. Strangely, it didn’t feel sexual at all. Yet, it had to be one of the most intimate moments I had ever experienced with another person. He was showing me his vulnerability, sharing his pain with me as our bare skin touched from head to toe - allowing ourselves to be connected physically and emotionally without judgement. The intensity of it was scary but also mixed with a strange feeling of relief and security. It was a hard feeling to wrap my head around as I tried to stay present for him. 

Once his breathing settled to normal, he pulled away to meet my gaze with a serene expression. His eyes danced around my face as his hand glided up and down the side of my body. I would give anything to know what was going on in his head at that moment. The way he was looking at me caused the air to crackle around us. It felt like there was something he wanted to say, but instead, he leaned forward and captured my lips with his. It was slow, passionate, and needy. 

We melted into each other, further deepening the connection that I currently felt humming between us. As I moved against him, touching and tasting his skin, I could feel his hardness growing and rubbing against my center. He groaned into my mouth as I began to grind against it, coating his length in my arousal. He wasted no time shifting so that he was between my thighs and sinking in to the hilt as he caged me in between his arms. His hips didn’t move, but he continued to kiss me deeply as I hugged him tightly. 

Several minutes passed before we broke apart. His hips finally began their painfully slow thrusts as we got lost in each other's eyes. This didn’t feel like it was about the sex for him. Maybe it was his way of staying grounded in the present. Or, perhaps it was about strengthening whatever bond was forming between us. Maybe it was even a little bit of both. There were definitely some strong emotions swirling around us as we moved together. It was almost overwhelming, causing my chest to tighten and tears to prickle at the corners of my eyes. 

There was no question about it now, I was in love with him. It ran deeper than it ever had with Alec or anyone else. The realization caused my heart to race as the anxiety set in. Was this too fast? Too soon? We’re either of us really ready for this? 

Dieter seemed to sense the shift in my thoughts, reaching to run his fingertips down the side of my face as he nudged his nose against mine. It helped calm me some but did nothing to dampen the sudden and intense rush of emotions I was feeling for him. 

The languid pace in which he was moving drew out how long this all lasted, but it felt right. We were completely lost in each other, causing the world around us to blur and cease to exist. It was the slowest build to a release that I had ever experienced. When I finally fell over the edge, it was intense and euphoric, seeming to go on forever. I felt like I was floating and the only thing keeping me tethered to this plane was Dieter. He followed behind me soon after, unable to hold it back as my walls contracted around him. He pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes clenching shut as he spilled into me with a deep groan that turned to quiet whimpers with the last few thrusts of his hips. 

He sighed heavily against my lips, clearly savoring the high he was riding after his release. I peppered small kisses around his face as I brushed back his sweaty curls. His dark eyes finally opened, meeting mine before capturing my mouth with his. He broke away to catch his breath, both of us still gulping for air as we took each other in. 

He eventually shifted to lay facing me as I turned toward him. His hand slid around my waist to pull me closer. We were nose to nose when he finally spoke, “I think I should maybe tell you why I had such a strong reaction to the Alec thing…it’s sort of the root of everything…why I am the way I am…”

I took a deep breath, “Ok…but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. Only tell me if you want to…and if you’re ready.” 

He nodded, “I want to…I think it’ll help you understand me a little better…and…my therapist thinks I should tell you too.”

I gave him a small smile as I reached to scratch at the scruff on his cheek, continuing to lazily rub in circles as he began to speak. 

“I…didn’t have the best childhood growing up. My dad…he was an asshole. I can’t remember a time when he didn’t abuse my mom, but it got progressively worse over the years. I couldn’t tell you how many times I sat with her or tried to take care of her after he bloodied her up. I remember always feeling helpless when I was younger…I wanted to protect her, but I couldn’t.” 

He paused, sighing heavily as he reached for my hand that was still rubbing at his scruff and entwined our fingers to rest on the bed between us. 

“Of course, that was when she still cared about life…about me. At some point she started drinking…which ultimately made things worse with him. It got to the point where she stayed wasted all the time and didn’t really seem to care about anything. By the time I was a teenager, I was pretty much taking care of myself. My dad left me alone for the most part, until I started interfering with their fights…trying to protect her.” 

He swallowed thickly as his eyes turned glassy, “I thought…maybe if I could protect her…that I could get her back…matter to her again. You know what I mean? I just felt so alone…abandoned even…just existing. It only made things worse though. My dad no longer held back from directing his anger at me and it just seemed to push my mom further away.” 

He scoffed as he squeezed my hand a little tighter, “Hell, there were times I think she was happy he was taking it out on someone besides her.”

I could see the pain that realization caused him as a deep crease formed between his brows. He stared, unblinking, at our intertwined hands as he continued. 

“When I was in high school, I joined the drama club. For once, I had several close friends. That’s when I realized my sexual preferences…varied…and I started exploring my preferences within that group. Anyway, there was this one guy I spent a lot of time with. It wasn’t serious, but we had a thing. I guess someone saw us together at the mall and we were obvious about it. Word got back to my dad, and he absolutely lost his shit over it. No son of his was gonna be like that. He called me every slur you can think of while he tried to ‘beat the gayness out of me’. That was one of the times I snapped on him. I got in a few good hits, but he still beat the hell out of me.”

The tears finally spilled down his cheeks. He sniffled a little before he continued. 

“It was pretty bad…and the sad part was…my mom couldn’t bother to care. She didn’t check on me once. After spending a day in bed and feeling like I was dying, I managed to drag myself over to Evan’s house. I lied and told everyone I got mugged. His mom ended up taking me to the ER…I had a concussion and a couple of broken ribs. Of course, all my parents cared about was the astronomical hospital bill.”

It was my turn for tears now. My heart was breaking for him. I squeezed his hand tighter as I gave him a sympathetic look. 

He sighed and finally met my gaze, “It got pretty unbearable after that. I couldn’t stand being at home. My dad was constantly belittling me and saying things that made me feel like I was a dirty abomination. My mom even said she was disappointed in my behavior at one point...I think that’s when I really started to hate myself. I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being loved or happy…I started having some pretty dark thoughts.”

He paused briefly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered what to say next. 

“Eventually…Evan’s mom took me in after she figured out what was going on. She helped me through the emancipation process so they couldn’t have control over me anymore…but the damage was done. I had already started self-medicating with alcohol…and after I got my big break in Hollywood with money to burn, the slow spiral started. Honestly, I’m not even sure how I’m still alive after some of the shit I’ve done.” 

“What made you finally wanna change things?” I asked. 

He shrugged, “After my third overdose, my agent gave me an ultimatum…either get sober or I was done. None of the studios wanted to work with me anymore because I was a liability…and by that point Evan had quit working for me. He was tired of my shit. I was also damn near bankrupt. Everything just sort of converged and blew up on me at once. So, I took that last stint in rehab seriously. I had sort of an epiphany about getting my life together and wanted to learn how to be happy…exercise the demons out of my life. Somehow, I found a way to do it, but it’s still a struggle some days. Sometimes I get triggered and wanna go back to that dark place…but I’m slowly learning how to cope with it. I’ve found new ways to channel that energy into something positive.”

I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety hit me, realizing that the drama with Alec had been a trigger for him. I felt like shit over it. 

“I’m sorry that I involved you with the Alec stuff. I didn’t realize the sort of effect it was having on you.”

He shook his head, “No, it’s ok. I was worried about you more than anything. I didn’t want you to get hurt…or lose yourself to him. I wanted to keep you safe…and the fact that you gave me a chance…trusted me with that…it meant more to me than you realize.”

I sighed, “But when you found us in the dressing room, I could see it. It did something to you beyond being upset about what he did.” 

His brows furrowed, “It was just…the fact that I wanted to inflict pain on him…it scared me a little. I was worried that I was more like my dad than I realized…that a part of me was violent enough to do the things he did…because I really wanted to. Then I was also afraid that I had scared you…that you would think I was no better than Alec. I didn’t want you to think that I could treat you the same way.”

My lips set into a tight line. I was determined to make him see himself as I do. 

“You’re nothing like either of those men. I know this. You’re just fiercely protective of those you care about…If anything, you’re a nurturer. You’re selfless and enjoy caring for others. You’re an amazing person and worthy of everything good that life brings to you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe that.” 

From the way his face scrunched up, I could tell he was fighting back his emotions. I pulled him against me, allowing him to bury his face against my neck as I hugged him. His arms tightened around me as his shoulders began to shake with his quiet sobs. His sniffles became a little more frequent as he allowed himself to feel whatever it was he was feeling. 

He was right, knowing about his past did help me understand him better. His past self-destructive behavior and difficulty with relationships made so much more sense. The fact that he had shared this with me so willingly showed me that he was trying to break the cycle and connect with me in ways that he never had with anyone else. He was still putting in the work to better himself and be happy. 

I continued to sooth him for a time, until he finally pulled away as he wiped his face with a tentative smile, causing his eyes to crinkle around the edges. Realizing that he was obviously feeling better, I gave him an encouraging smile in return.

“You somehow always seem to know what I need before I do. Thank you for not being afraid to show me,” he finally said. 

I chuckled, “I don’t really know. I just know what I would want under the circumstances.”

He hummed as he nuzzled his nose against mine, “So…naked cuddling and slow, mind-blowing sex? Noted.” 

I laughed. It was nice to see his sense of humor returning. 

“Sooo…were you and Evan a thing at one point?” I asked. I couldn’t help being curious about it. 

Dieter snorted, “Hell no. We were in the drama club together, but he doesn't swing that way. Never has. He likes boobs too much. He was there for the chics.” 

I snickered, “Good to know. I didn’t get those vibes between you two, but I had to ask. I didn’t realize he’d been around for that long.” 

He smiled, “Oh yeah, we go way back. I’m not sure I could trust anyone else to handle my stuff the way he does. He actually looks out for me and has my best interest in mind…calls me on my shit when he needs to. I’ve had other assistants that just wanted to enable my bad behavior so they could party and take advantage of me in some way. I can’t be having that anymore.” 

I couldn’t help wondering about his parents after that. He seemed to notice something was on my mind and asked what I was thinking about. 

“Have you had any contact with your parents since you left?” I asked. 

His lips set into a tight line, “Umm well…my mom pretty much drank herself to death. She died years ago…but my dad…I think he’s still around somewhere. It’s been a while, but I’ll occasionally get a call asking for money. I don’t give him shit. That goes over about like you would expect. He hasn’t changed much. He’s still an asshole.” 

I sighed, “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, “It is what it is. I can’t change him. I can only change myself and how I respond to him.” 

We soon noticed the time, realizing that we were going to be late for our evening rehearsal. After rushing around, we eventually made it to the studio. I think Dieter was happy for the distraction, quickly settling into our routine and focusing on the performance. He was back to his goofy and smiley self, having fun as we tried out a couple of different options for the choreography. At times we behaved a little less professionally as our bodies moved together with lingering touches and lips brushing against any skin they could get near without being completely obvious to anyone who might be passing by. 

Things were definitely evolving between us, yet again. After the events from earlier in the day, I could tell something had changed. It was like all of the broken pieces of our being were slowly falling back into place and somehow converging into one. With every new piece that found its place, our connection steadily grew. Part of me questioned if it was real or just being overblown and intensified by the circumstances we found ourselves in. I hated to think like that, but it was something to consider. 

After rehearsals, I found myself back at Dieter’s house. It was late, so we settled on something quick for dinner. Dieter made sandwiches that were fancier than anything I had ever put together between two pieces of bread. He was incapable of doing things halfway it seemed. 

We got ready for bed after that, going through our newly established routine. We didn’t even bother changing into sleep clothes, now opting to sleep in nothing instead. I crawled into bed, snuggling in while Dieter shut off the lights and made sure the door was cracked for Zee. He slid under the blankets, reaching to pull me against him and tangle our limbs together. After burying his face in my hair, he sighed in contentment and squeezed me just a little tighter. He was asleep within minutes, and I wasn’t too far behind him. 

When I awoke the next morning, Dieter was still snoring lightly against the back of my shoulder. I could just make out Zee’s paw stretched out across the side of his head and disappearing into his mess of curls as she snoozed behind him. I moved to get up, but Dieter groaned and stiffened his arm that was thrown over my middle. 

I chuckled and whined, “Diiieter, I’ve gotta peeee.”

He huffed as he mumbled out a gravelly, “Fine.” Then he turned, snuggling Zee instead. “Guess I’ll just cuddle my other cat then.” 

I laughed at his ridiculousness, shaking my head as I made my way to the bathroom. Once I was finished, I took the opportunity to swipe another one of Dieter’s t-shirts that said ‘Stay Horny for Art’ in large letters across the front. It had me shaking my head all over again as I slipped it on and walked out into the bedroom. I made my way over to his side of the bed, leaning down to ruffle his hair before giving him a quick kiss. 

“I’m gonna go get breakfast started.”

He grabbed my hand, kissing the top of it before groaning and hiding his face from the sunlight that was beginning to sneak through the curtains. I smiled to myself as I pulled away and made my way downstairs. He was too adorable when he was half asleep and needy. 

I was obviously nowhere as good of a cook as Dieter, so I decided to keep it simple. As I was digging through the pantry for pancake ingredients I heard movement in the kitchen. Assuming it was Dieter, I called out to ask, “Do you know where the…”

My words trailed off as I walked out of the pantry to find a petite woman, most likely in her early fifties, with short dark red hair, and a scowl on her face. I stopped in my tracks, taken off guard by her sudden appearance. 

She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down, “I thought he was done bringing hussies home?”

I nearly choked on my own spit as I sucked in a breath. I shook my head, “No… I’m not…”

She sighed, “Did he relapse again? I’m gonna kick his ass if he did…then quit.” 

That took me by surprise. I liked her already. Spitfire indeed. 

I held my hands out in surrender, “No…he’s fine. He’s still in bed, asleep. You must be Cora, I presume?”

She seemed taken aback that I knew who she was, her face shifting from frustration to confusion before she nodded.

I gave her what I hoped was a polite smile, “I’m Kat. Dieter’s dance partner…”

I could tell when the realization hit because her eyes widened and her mouth fell open slightly before she finally spoke, “I’m not sure what to do with this...” 

I chuckled, “It’s ok…I think this is a learning experience for all of us.” 

Dieter chose that moment to come shuffling into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of grey gym shorts and black crocs with Zee at his heels on a mission for breakfast. He came to stand next to me so he could wrap his arm around my waist and give me a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling lazily as he turned toward Cora, “I see you’ve finally met my lady. I hope you weren’t too hard on her…”

Cora’s eyebrows lifted up to her hairline as she studied Dieter. If I had to guess, I could only assume he had never acted this way toward anyone in front of her before. She gave a hesitant smile, “Dieter…you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

He pulled me snugly against his chest, “Well…we’re not exactly making it public yet…but Kat and I are together.”

“Together?” she asked. As if she needed confirmation. 

He nodded as he fought a laugh, “Yeah…together. Like…a couple. Dating. Courting. Whatever your generation calls it.”

She gave him an admonishing look, “My generation? I’m not that much older than you, you little shit. You’ll be fifty in no time.”

I clapped a hand over my mouth to hold in the laughter that was threatening to escape. Dieter, on the other hand, cackled over her words. I could already see why he hired her. She was his kind of people. 

Cora rolled her eyes at him before changing the subject back to us. “Well, this makes sense. I knew something was going on with you…you’ve been different lately. I just thought you were slipping back into your old habits and tryin’ ta hide it. I’m happy to see that’s not the case.”

She paused, giving me a mischievous smile before looking back at Dieter. “Looks like you’ve made a good decision for once. I’m not getting floozy, gold digging vibes from this one.”

Dieter chuckled as he turned to look at me with a dimpling smile, “No. She’s definitely not a floozy or a gold digger…she’s perfect.” 

He had that sappy look in his eyes as they danced around my face. His smile widened as my cheeks flushed from his gaze and the words he said so freely. I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest as the thoughts of what that feeling meant, bounced around in my head. I refused to acknowledge it by name, but I knew what it was. The fact that I was falling so hard, so fast, had my mind reeling. I had to quickly pivot my train of thought before a spiral started. My attention shifted back to Cora, who was watching us intently, with a toothy smile. 

Dieter invited her to sit for breakfast as he shuffled things around on the top shelf of the pantry to find the pancake ingredients. After refusing to let me help, I joined Cora on a stool at the island to watch Dieter cook. We slipped into an easy conversation, getting to know each other a little better while also teasing Dieter in any way we could. She was quickly becoming one of my new favorite people. It made me happy to know this was who Dieter was choosing to surround himself with now, even if she was hired help. 

Since we didn’t have to be in rehearsal until later in the day, we spent some time lazing about in the pool. Not a minute passed that we weren’t touching each other in some way - be it laying back against his chest as he whispered sweetly in my ear while we lounged in the shallows or wrapped in his arms as he held me tightly and spoke in a low voice against my lips between kisses in the deep water. It never felt sexual. We were content just being wrapped up in each other as we bonded through touch and conversation. It made me realize how serious he was in not making our relationship about sex. 

He opened himself up to me in a way I didn’t think anyone ever had, holding nothing back and giving me every part of himself. There was a lightness to him now, like everything that once weighed him down had been discarded and left in the past. It made me hopeful for him, and for us. His smile and happiness were infectious and warm. He was the sun and my light, teaching me how to find my confidence and love myself again. However, in the back of my mind I still had a worry that I was allowing him to affect me too much, too soon. I knew he had the power to break me in a way that Alec couldn’t, but he had given me more than enough reasons to trust that he wouldn’t. 

After spending a good amount of time in the pool, we decided to relax and read on a chaise lounger. Dieter sat down, then allowed me to sit between his thighs and recline against his chest as I read aloud from the pages of Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol. This eventually shifted into a debate about US government conspiracy theories which had us in fits of giggles as we argued our points for and against each one. We were into a deep conversation about the Roswell crash when my phone rang on the table next to us with an incoming FaceTime call. Dieter reached for it and handed it to me. 

Seeing my sister’s name flash on the screen elicited a sigh from me. “I probably better answer this. She’s been giving me hell because I haven’t called her in a few weeks.” 

Dieter shifted to get up and give me some privacy, but I stopped him, “No. Stay. I might as well tell her what I’ve been up to in my free time…”

He gave me a nervous look as he settled back into the seat. I took a deep breath then hit the ‘answer’ button, careful to keep the camera focused on my face for now as I smiled into it. 

“Lydia, hey…how are you?”

She looked annoyed, “About damn time you answered. Why haven’t you called me?”

I smiled nervously, “Oh you know…I’ve been busy with rehearsals…”

She scoffed, “You’re never this busy with rehearsals…”

I scoffed back, “Well, I typically don’t make it this far into the competition to keep me this busy with rehearsals…” 

She paused for a beat, considering my response. “Fair point. I guess I’ll let it slide…How come you’re not rehearsing now?”

I pushed a stray piece of hair away that was blowing in my face, “Our schedule got moved around a bit. We have an evening rehearsal today.” 

She nodded, “Well…what’s been going on? I haven’t talked to you in weeks. Has Alec been an issue?”

I grimaced and shrugged, “You know…it’s Alec. I’m just avoiding him as much as I can and trying to move on…”

Something in my demeanor must have tipped her off, causing her eyes to narrow slightly. “And how is the moving on going? I feel like you’ve been very…nonchalant about this whole thing…” 

I pursed my lips, “I mean…I was kind of over his shit before the thing with Lana happened. So, it’s like a weight has been lifted, honestly.” 

Her eyes narrowed further, “Where are you right now?” 

I could tell Dieter was holding in laughter, causing me to fight a smile as I replied. “I’m hanging out by the pool at a friend’s house.” 

Dieter was shaking now, burying his face in the back of my hair to muffle his giggles. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip in an attempt to hide my smile as I angled the phone just right to cut him out of frame. 

Lydia’s eyebrow arched. She was not amused with my evasive answers. “How are things going with your dance partner? You’ve hardly said anything about him…”

I couldn’t help smirking at that question, “It’s going good…he’s a good dancer…and we get along.”

Her face told me she was on to my bullshit while her voice feigned ignorance. “Hm, well that’s good. I guess that’s why you have such good chemistry on the dance floor then…” 

I chuckled, “Well, he is an Oscar winning actor. He knows how to play a role well…” 

I could tell Dieter was about to lose what little composure he had over that line. I wasn’t too far behind him. 

Lydia sighed, “Kat…just tell me what the hell is going on. I’m not an idiot…something is up with you. Did something happen with him?”

I scrunched up my nose, “You really wanna know?” 

She sighed, “Kat, seriously?” She paused and rubbed at the crease between her brows as she continued, “So there is something to that TMZ article then? Please tell me he at least fucked some sense into you and made ya realize that Alec was a shitty lay?”

Dieter snorted out a laugh before clapping his hand over his mouth. I grimaced while trying to hold in my own laughter. Lydia’s brows furrowed in confusion. 

I glanced up at Dieter with a questioning look. After getting a nod of approval from him, I stretched my arms out in front of us so that we both fit into the frame. Dieter smiled sheepishly and waved. Lydia gasped out a shocked, “Oh shit!” before accidentally dropping her phone. 

Dieter and I burst into laughter as the blurred images on the screen bounced around before finally focusing back on her shocked face. She sat there staring with her mouth hanging open as she processed what she was seeing. 

Dieter chuckled before finally speaking, “Hi, Lydia! I’m sorry I’ve been keeping your sister from you. I swear it’s not on purpose.” 

Her mouth finally snapped shut, “Wow, OK. So, this is like…happening then?” 

I nodded with a smile, “Yeah, it kind of is…” 

She looked overwhelmed now as she sputtered out, “How?...When?…Does Alec know?…” She paused, then gasped out, “Did you cheat on Alec? Please say yes.” 

Dieter buried his face in my neck as he laughed at her. I shook my head and chuckled, “No. No cheating. It was after I ended things with Alec…in New York. Dieter’s been really supportive with everything and was looking out for me. We had gotten close and…it just sort of…happened.”

I reached up behind me to cup his cheek. He wasted no time lacing his fingers through mine as he turned his head to kiss the palm of my hand and pulled it away to nuzzle his cheek against the side of my head. 

Lydia looked absolutely dumbfounded as she mumbled out, “Holy shit. So, you’re like together, together? This isn’t a fling type thing?” 

I scoffed, “No, you know I’m not into that.”

She laughed, “I KNEW something was going on with him! I could tell from the way you look at him when you’re dancing on the show.”

Dieter and I snickered before I continued, “Well, we’re not going public yet. The producers are trying hard to make this a thing and I refuse to let them. Alec suspects, but I don’t wanna give him any more ammunition to come at us. I just wanna make it through this season with as little drama as possible and be done with it all.” 

She nodded before her expression shifted to one of worry. “So, how has it been going…with you two?” 

The question seemed innocent enough, but her tone told another story. Dieter sighed quietly, then leaned in next to my ear, “I’m gonna go get us something to drink and give you two some time to chat.” 

I felt my stomach drop and hoped that hadn’t upset him as I shifted so that he could get up. He gave me a quick kiss on the top of the head before he disappeared inside. 

My eyes shifted back to the phone, “Did you really have to ask that right now?”

She huffed out a nervous laugh, “What do you mean?”

It was my turn to narrow my eyes, “You know what I mean…you and your disapproving tone.”

She sighed, “It’s not disapproval…it’s concern. You just got out of a very long term engagement with an asshole and immediately got with Dieter Bravo of all people? He has a reputation ya know. I just worry is all.” 

I couldn’t argue with her logic. Those same thoughts had already crossed my mind on more than one occasion.

My brows furrowed, “I completely understand where you’re coming from…I’ve thought about that too. It is fast, but we were building a solid friendship beforehand. It’s not like I just met him last week. And Dieter…he’s not what you would expect…certainly not what I expected. He’s actually very caring and sweet. He’s been working really hard on himself…and he really is a good person. We’ve connected in a way that I’ve never connected with anyone before…”

She puffed air through her cheeks as she rubbed at her temple, “Oh Kat…you’ve got it bad, don’t you?”

I sighed, “Yeah, I think I do…I mean, the man is learning to make Greek food for me…and he’s always worried about how I’m feeling after rehearsals. He makes a point to take care of me…cooking, hot baths, massages…Alec always acted like my body aches were such a damn burden. And Dieter…he’s so open about everything…his past, his feelings. He’s the complete opposite of Alec in every way. How could I not have it bad with that?”

Lydia let out a low whistle, “Damn, sis…he almost sounds too good to be true. What about his reputation though? The whoring around and partying? Doesn’t that worry you?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was frustrating, but I understood where she was coming from. 

“He’s been sober for ten months and hasn’t been with anyone else for even longer than that. He’s been taking it seriously…We’ve talked through why he used to do those things and he’s working through it…I-I trust him. He’s not that person any more. He’s already proved that to me in a million different ways.” 

She grimaced slightly, “Are you sure this isn’t another one of your ‘I can fix him’ phases?”

I scoffed, “I should be offended by that…but I kind of deserved it. I-It’s not that. Dieter doesn’t need me to fix him. He was already fixing himself before he met me. He did that part on his own.”

That seemed to alleviate some of her worries, causing her features to relax. “Well, that’s good to hear at least.”

I huffed out a laugh, “Hell, if anything he’s fixing me...”

Lydia snickered, “So he’s good in bed then…” 

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes as I fought a smile, “That’s not what I was referring to, but yes…he is. He’s very attentive, skilled…adventurous…and he knows how to read me. No direction needed. It’s…more than just sex with him too…it’s always very intimate…during and after.”

I paused, briefly laughing to myself as I thought about mine and Dieter’s previous conversation we had in this very spot. “When we got back from New York, he invited me over to stay with him…he didn’t wanna have sex that night. He said he didn’t want it to be all about that with us. We didn’t do it again for like a week. He’s all about exploring all forms of intimacy.” 

Lydia’s eyes nearly bulged out her head with that news. “Fuuuck, ok. He just won me over because that’s a major turn on.”

I laughed, “Right? You understand now? And I haven’t even told you about his cat and plants.”

Lydia looked intrigued, however, Dieter chose that moment to emerge from the house carrying two glasses of lemonade. 

I murmured out a quick “I’ll fill you in on that later,” as I turned to smile up at him. I scooted forward so he could take his seat behind me after he set the glasses on the small table beside us. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me tightly against his chest. 

“Alright ladies, what did I miss?” he asked in a playful tone. 

Lydia bit back a laugh, “Kat was just telling me that you’re awesome in the sack.”

I could feel my cheeks flush, “Fucking hell, Lyd. Shut up.” 

Dieter vibrated from laughter behind me, shaking his head as he spoke. “Well, I guess there are worse things she could be saying.” 

We fell into easy conversation after that, somehow dragging Lydia into our prior discussion about conspiracy theories. They were both laughing and already throwing jokes at one another. I could tell she liked him which gave me some comfort. After we hung up, a text message immediately pinged from Lydia.

Lydia: OK. I get it now. Hot. Fucking hilarious. Worships you. I approve. 👏👏👏   

I smiled and showed it to Dieter, who howled with laughter. He was feeling pretty smug, having won the affections of my sister. 

Soon after that, relaxation time was up. We had to get to the studio for a rather exhausting rehearsal. Given that the Paso Doble is a fast paced, Latin style dance, it didn’t take long before we were running on fumes, but the choreography was really beginning to come together by this point in the week. Dieter was having fun with the fact that most of the attention for this dance was on him and allowed him to show a little bit of sass and attitude. He was definitely playing up those attributes, and I was enjoying every second of it. Especially after he declared the room felt like an inferno and peeled his sweaty shirt off over his head.

(Click images to enlarge so you don't miss anything. More after the jump.)

The constant rehearsals were definitely having an effect on his body, toning all the right muscles and slimming him down slightly. He looked amazing and I could tell he was feeling it too. He seemed more confident in himself, which only led to more torture for me. It was obvious he was intentionally flaunting the goods to get me worked up - not that I was complaining. I didn’t mind seeing more skin or watching the muscles in his chest, arms, and back flex as he moved around the dance floor. It was quickly becoming one of my favorite sights. Especially when he added that sexy smirk of his to the mix. 

After rehearsal, Dieter went to pick up takeout for us while I ran home to check on things and resupply on clothes and the essentials before I made my way over to his house. He was just setting Zee’s dinner down on her mat when I walked in. They seemed to be having some sort of standoff over the evening’s meal selection as he placed his hands on his hips and huffed down at her. She sat defiantly staring up at him as her tail flicked back and forth. I rolled my lips together to hold in my laugh as I watched Zee meow loudly, which elicited a heavy sigh from Dieter. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with it, woman. You don’t have to have freshly cooked protein with every meal.”

She meowed again, then glanced at her plate before shifting her eyes back to his. He rolled his eyes and puffed air out of his cheeks before stalking over to the pantry, then emerged with a pouch of tuna. Clearly losing the battle with his furry little menace. Zee seemed more enthusiastic about her dinner as she watched him spoon a small amount out on top of her food. Finally, a compromise. 

Dieter turned his attention to me with an exasperated look on his face. “I think I have unintentionally created a monster,” he said through a chuckle. 

I walked over toward the island to unpack our dinner as I snickered, “It seems so…but I gotta say, watching you two battle it out has become one of my favorite pastimes. She’s got you wrapped around her little paw.” 

He came to stand behind me, grazing his nose up the side of my neck as he wrapped his arms around me. “What can I say? I live to serve my two ladies. I’m your bitch and I have no shame to say it.” 

I snorted out a laugh as I sank back against him, turning to give him a quick kiss. He pulled away with a smile, “Speaking of…I got you some spanakopita…and after you eat, we’re taking a hot bath. If my body hurts this bad, I know yours has to.” 

I smiled up at him, “Sounds like a plan. I am feeling quite achy this evening.” 

His lips set into a tight line, “I’ll make you some herbal tea. It’ll help. Now…go sit. Get off your feet. I’ll handle all this.” 

The no nonsense look on his face told me there was no arguing. So, I did as he said. He had a plate full of food and a glass of water in front of me within minutes, making sure I was taken care of before he sat down beside me. When we finished, he put everything away while I spent a few minutes cuddling Zee and drinking my fresh cup of herbal tea. He soon disappeared upstairs to run the bath, and I followed several minutes later. 

I found Dieter undressed down to his boxer briefs and leaning over the side of the tub, checking the water temperature and adding some Epsom salt. The sight of him caused my pulse to quicken. When he turned and gave me his sexy little smirk, I thought my heart would explode out of my chest. Without a word, he stood to grab a brush and began to meticulously brush the knots out of my hair caused by today’s rehearsal. Then he twisted it up and secured it with a flat clip. He proceeded to undress me, taking his time to allow his hands and lips to gently explore my body before helping me into the tub. 

Dieter settled in on the opposite end, immediately taking one of my feet into his large hands and began massaging. I relaxed into the water, enjoying the feel of the jets spraying along my body and Dieter’s touch. We sat staring at each other in silence, the air around us electric as we simply existed together. His lips tugged upward as his fingers dipped down to rub at that spot on my foot, causing my thighs to clench. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I narrowed my eyes in his direction. 

The smirk was back now, “What’s the matter Kitten? You need something from me?” 

I further relaxed into the water, “I think you’re the one being naughty right now, Bravo.” 

His brows arched, “Let me show you how naughty I can be. Just lay back and relax. Don’t fight the sensations. Imma show you how nerve endings work.”

I did as he asked, trying to loosen up and just feel as our eyes remained locked in an intense stare. His thumbs got to work, gradually increasing pressure in the spots he knew would get me worked up. I could feel the tingle begin in my foot, eventually shooting up directly to my core. My first instinct was to pull away just because it was an odd sensation. It caused his grip to tighten as he tsked at me, “Relax, Kitten. Don’t fight it. Feel it.” 

He continued the same pressure with his thumb, allowing me a moment to become accustomed to the sensation. I was soon panting under his touch, my thighs tensing as my center sought out more friction. It was as if I was suspended right on the edge, close enough to feel something but never completely falling over. His hooded gaze told me that he was enjoying watching me writhe under his touch at the other end of the tub. I lost track of how long that went on. I was damn near in tears when he gave me that mischievous smirk and finally spoke, “Touch yourself for me…” 

My jaw fell slack as one hand moved down to my massage breast and the other to my center. My fingers got to work rubbing at the sensitive and swollen nub, adding to the sensations I was already feeling from where Dieter continued to rub my foot, now adding even more pressure with his thumbs. Within seconds, I fell over the edge. My body tensing and arching out of the water as a loud moan escaped my lips. I saw stars as the blood rushed behind my ears. It was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had from basic stimulation. Dieter continued rubbing my foot through it, prolonging the sensations until I finally relaxed into the water.  

When my senses finally returned, my eyes fluttered open to find Dieter’s smug smile. He seemed rather proud of himself. I gave him a lazy smile in return, suggestively running my foot down his chest until it disappeared under the water - going lower to brush against his hardness that was hiding under the surface. His eyes narrowed, “Now who's being naughty?”

I gave him an innocent smile, “Oh no…I’m just returning the favor.” 

I sat up, shifting to join him at the other end of the tub. With my breast pressed against him, I leaned in for a slow and sensual kiss. My left arm moved around his neck allowing my fingers to tangle in his hair as my lips trailed down his jaw to first suck on his ear lobe before moving to the sensitive spot behind it. I resituated myself, my left side leaning against him as my right hand traced a path downward. His lips captured mine until my fingers wrapped around the base of his cock and stroked upward. His jaw fell slack, breaking our kiss as his head dropped backward onto the ledge of the tub. With the arm that was wrapped around me, he reached up to gently rub soothing circles at the base of my neck as I continued to pump his length - occasionally swiping my thumb over the head and squeezing just a little tighter.

I took this opportunity to take in his expressions as his breath quickened. His head lolled back and forth as his brows pinched together. His teeth bit into his bottom lip as he turned and whimpered quietly against my shoulder. I leaned down, grazing my nose against his ear, speaking in a silky soft voice.

“You’ve been so good today…taking care of me in every way. I think it’s only fair that I take care of you too. Don’t you?”

He whimpered, his mouth falling open, allowing his hot pants to blow against the curve of my neck as my hand pumped a little faster. My fingers twisted in his hair, pulling it slightly causing his head to fall back away from me so that I could see his face again. His brows pinched together tighter as his arm tensed around me, his fingers now gripping my shoulder firmly. He was panting out soft whimpers with every exhale, eventually turning into a deep groan as I swiped my thumb over the head for the last time - causing him to cum. He trembled under me, eventually going limp against the tub, sucking in deep breaths through his pouty lips as his brows arched. 

A curl fell down over his forehead as his head leaned toward me. He looked relaxed now and completely blissed out as he sat there with his eyes closed. A lazy grin slid across his lips as his dark eyes finally blinked open to meet my gaze. Without warning he pulled me down, causing me to squeal as he crashed his lips against mine. His hands ghosted up and down my back side while we continued to make out like a couple of teenagers, pulling apart only to stare into each other's eyes. 

He reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face as he took me in, “You know…I wouldn’t be upset if every night for the rest of my life ended like this…with us together…you make me happier than I ever thought possible.” 

His words took me off guard, causing a mix of emotions - excitement because it meant he was thinking long term about our future, but also panic. It was another reminder of how hard and how fast I was falling for him because I now realized I wanted that, more than anything. I was also setting myself up to get hurt badly if this went wrong. I was already in so much deeper with him than I ever was with Alec. I need to get over this. Dieter isn’t Alec. He won’t do what Alec did. 

My eyes searched his, I could tell he meant what he was saying. I felt like he wanted to say more but was holding back. I suddenly felt emotional, the only response I could muster was a small smile before pulling him in for a gentle kiss. I turned, settling back against his chest as his hands rubbed my shoulders. 

He kissed the top of my head, seeming to sense my anxiety, then leaned his cheek against it as he spoke, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that…I wanna take things at a pace you're OK with. I don’t want you to feel rushed. I mean it when I say you’re important to me and…I don’t wanna fuck this up.”

I grabbed his hand and nuzzled it against the side of my face, “Don’t apologize. I want you to be open with me about your feelings. I do appreciate the grace…just be patient with me. I’m there with you, but I’m feeling a lot of things…I’m still working through a lot of things, most of which have nothing to do with you…just know that.” 

He hugged me against him, brushing the hair back off my face as he told me to relax for a little while. We sat in silence for a time, until Zee came strutting into the bathroom meowing because we weren’t in bed yet. We took that as our cue to start our bedtime routine so as not to upset the queen of the Bravo residence. 

Dieter climbed into bed first that night, raising the blanket for me to crawl in beside him. I was suddenly feeling vulnerable as I snuggled in against his chest. He pulled me snugly against himself as I tangled my leg with his. His scent and warmth surrounded me, calming me and bringing me back to my senses. “Dieter?”

He murmured out a sleepy ‘hm?’ against the top of my hair. 

“I wouldn’t mind having this every night, too.”

I felt him smile as he nuzzled his face further into my hair and hugged me just a little tighter. 

Dieter’s POV This week had been such an emotional roller coaster for me already. Kat and I finally caved after a week of no sex, first in the dressing room at the studio, then again after we got back to my place that same evening. It wasn’t just sex though. Like in New York, it was different - intense. She had me feeling things that I had never felt before, causing my emotions to jump all over the place. It felt like it was never enough and too much all at the same time. I wondered if this was what it felt like to make love to someone. I had always heard people say that, but never really understood it. To me, there was only sex or fucking. Those two things didn’t feel like appropriate descriptors for what Kat and I did though. 

There was no question about my feelings for her. I knew I was in love, but did the intensity between us mean she felt the same about me? I couldn’t help hoping that was the case. Why else would it feel like this with her if she wasn’t reciprocating those feelings? It was something I wanted to bring up with her, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to freak her out and ruin what we were building. Deep down I knew she was more fragile than she let on. I knew this thing with Alec had affected her no matter how hard she tried to hide it. I wanted to make sure I gave her all the time she needed to heal. 

The shit storm brewing around us certainly didn’t help any. I knew there would eventually be some repercussions from the Alec confrontation. The rumors had already begun to swirl and TMZ had gotten a whiff of it. They were sniffing around for any details they could get so they could post about it. 

Then that suggestive text message came through when Kat had my phone. I damn near had a panic attack, worried she would think I was talking to other people behind her back. I knew I should have gotten my number changed as soon as all those random messages started to come in after SNL. It would have saved us both some grief. Thankfully, it appeared as if she believed my explanation. At least I hoped she did, because it was the truth. However, I knew it had to be worrisome to her after the whole Alec thing. I felt like a complete asshole over the incident. I never wanted to do anything to make her worry about those sort of things because I would never do that to her. 

I went from that major fuck up right into my therapy session with Dr. Smith where she made me talk about my parents and how that related to my freak out on Alec. It was something that I did need to talk through. I couldn’t put it off forever because it had been bothering me. Dr. Smith helped me realize that the visceral reaction was more about protecting someone I care deeply for than anything - that I’m not that violent person. My biggest fear is that I would turn into my father or that I was already like him in some way. Deep down I knew I wasn’t, but that worry would always be there because I was so affected by it during my early life. 

When I got back home after that session, I went straight to my sanctuary. I needed to get it out of my system in some way, finally settling for music. When I began to play, I didn’t have any intention to go live on Instagram, but I figured why not? That was what Lenny wanted me to do. I ended up finding it to be strangely cathartic, but I was still feeling down when Kat showed up. Given that Dr. Smith had encouraged me to tell Kat about my past, I felt like it was the last step I needed to take to absolve myself of all the things I was feeling. 

I didn’t even know where to start, but Kat knew exactly what I needed - pulling me into that moment of intimacy and just letting me be while I worked through my emotions. I needed all of her and she willingly let me have as much as I could handle. It felt like something shifted between us yet again, but I didn’t know what. All I knew is that I felt closer to her afterward and completely safe to open up to tell her about my past.  

Our relationship really was progressing quicker than I thought it would. After Kat met Cora, she had essentially met all the important people in my circle. She was becoming engrained in every part of my life, and I couldn’t have been happier about it. Cora loved Kat and approved once she got to spend a little time with her. Kat had even told her sister about me, which I felt like was a big fucking deal. She seemed almost proud to show me off to Lydia, not hesitating to let me join their call after she spilled the beans. It all felt very natural, and I honestly couldn’t believe it was happening. This thing between us was obviously turning into something serious. It was scary, but I welcomed it with open arms. I was ready to have someone, to have my own functional family.

After allowing my mind to run a marathon of thoughts as I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, my attention turned to Kat. She was sleeping soundly beside me. I hated to disturb her, but I really needed to take a piss and get breakfast started. Since it was a late rehearsal day, I wanted to take advantage of our free time and surprise her with an authentic Greek meal. 

Kat groaned as I pulled away from her to get up, causing me to huff out a quiet laugh as I ran my fingertips down the side of her cheek. “Sorry to wake you sweetheart, go back to sleep for a bit. I’m gonna go make you some breakfast.”

She hummed out in agreement, snuggling deeper into the blankets as I tucked them around her. Zee stood from her spot at the end of the bed, moving toward Kat’s head. I narrowed my eyes at her, pointing an accusing finger as I whispered out, “You behave. Don’t be an annoying little shit.”

Kat snickered into the pillow as she lifted the blanket, allowing Zee to cuddle in against her before cocooning them both in the duvet. Seeing my two girls snuggled up in my bed together was really doing something to me, causing my heart to flutter in my chest and making me feel happy in a way I never had been. I really couldn’t ask for anything better than that. 

I threw on a pair of gym shorts and grabbed my fluffy green robe, then headed downstairs to start cooking. I had asked Cora to pick up some ingredients for a traditional Greek breakfast that I wanted to try my hand at making. It seemed simple enough, so I figured I couldn’t fuck it up too badly. 

I got to work, chopping the tomatoes and onions before letting them sauté in a pan - eventually adding lightly beaten eggs and several spices before topping with crumbled feta. I followed that up with fried pork, then made a small batch of what equated to Greek French toast. Kat came shuffling in just as I added the finishing touches of honey and cinnamon to the fried bread. I could hear her sniffing the air as she came up behind me to wrap her arms around my waist. 

“This smells amazing. What did you make?”

After setting the container of cinnamon down, I turned to face her with a smirk, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her against me as I went over the morning menu. 

“Well, we have some fried pork…and forgive me if I butcher the names…but I also made some fetoydia and strapatsada.” 

Her eyes lit up, “No you didn’t?!?!”

I chuckled, “I did. I also had Cora get you some fancy imported Greek coffee and mountain tea too. I’m curious to try those. Which would you like with your breakfast?”

Her mouth hung open for a beat, clearly surprised by my efforts. “I can’t believe you did that for me…I don’t even know what to say.” 

I shrugged, “It’s not a big deal. You know I love to try new things…and you’ve given me a reason to. Now, coffee or tea?”

She sighed in contentment, “Coffee, please.”

I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away to get it started, “Coming right up! Food’s done, so dig in.”

She had a ghost of a smile on her lips as she made her plate which had me feeling all warm and fuzzy.  I would never tire of spoiling her every chance I got. 

Kat seemed to enjoy the meal, moaning in appreciation with every bite. She and I ate way too much to the point we both felt miserable after. Thankfully we had several hours before we had to be in the dance studio, so we could relax and be a little lazy for a while. We spent some time snuggled on the couch - her tucked into my side as Zee stretched out in the crevice between Kat and the back of the sofa. Kat watched as I aimlessly scrolled through the threads of one of my online plant groups, taking the time to respond to questions and complain to her about how so many people gave terrible advice. 

I chuckled as I explained to Kat how I was the dickhead that always incited arguments about plant care and then won them and how I had amassed quite the little following that always directly asked me for advice. I often wondered what they would do if they knew who they were actually talking to. 

After several minutes, Kat piped up to ask, “What do they mean when they say SuccDee? Is that a dirty plant joke? I don’t understand the context.” 

My body shook with laughter as I tried to hold it in. I finally got it together enough to answer her. “My username is ‘Succulent_Daddy_Dee’. They have taken to calling me ‘SuccDee’ for short.”

I could see the moment of realization on her face as her eyes widened. Then she burst into laughter as she buried her face in my chest. She had tears in her eyes as she asked, “And I’m sure you did nothing to encourage that. You’re so bad…” 

I snorted out laughter, “Hey, I wasn’t the one to come up with it. However, I will admit I did nothing to discourage it. Honestly, I spent a good five minutes laughing the first time someone said it. It just stuck and it’s kind of fucking perfect.”

She wiped her eyes, “I’m not sure which version of that name is more entertaining. The multiple meanings of the word succulent take it to a whole other level.” 

I feigned innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. A succulent is a type of plant. I am the father to many succulent plants. Get your mind outta the gutter.”

She broke into another fit of giggles, “You’re so full of shit.” 

I snickered, “Yeah, guilty…but hey, at least I keep it entertaining.”

With the arm she had thrown across my torso, she gave me a little squeeze. “That you do. I can’t complain.”

I continued to scroll, pausing on a post that caught my attention and reading it out loud to Kat.

Here’s a little fun fact for all of my plant enthusiasts. Plants can talk! They emit ultrasonic vibrations of 20–100 kHz. To make this more interesting, cats can hear up to 64 kHz and dogs up to 45 kHz. Does this mean my pets can hear the plants?

I looked down at her, “Fuuck, am I unknowingly driving Zee insane with all my plants? It must be super loud in here to her...”

This fact was sort of blowing my mind as I peeked over at Zee, the mention of her name rousing her from a deep sleep. “Damn Zee, I wish you could talk. I wanna know what they say…Maybe I should talk to them more?”

My attention diverted back to Kat, finding her smiling up at me. “Well, now I know why she sometimes randomly stares at them in that freaky way she does. I wonder if there’s a way we can hear them? Imma have to research this…” 

Kat’s smile widened, and to Zee’s dismay, she shifted so that she could raise up to kiss me and mumble, “You’re so fucking adorable” against my lips. My thoughts for the talking plants were soon forgotten as I discarded my iPad on the floor next to the couch and proceeded to have a heated make out session with my lady. 

We were interrupted minutes later by her phone ringing on the table next to us. Kat seemed intent on ignoring it, continuing to kiss down my jaw and neck as I turned to grab her cell with a chuckle. 

“It’s Marc. You need to take it?”

Her head popped up with a perplexed look on her face, “Yeah…maybe. He rarely calls me.” 

She answered, going through the usual small talk and pleasantries before going quiet to listen to what I assumed was his reason for calling. Her brows pinched together slightly before she gave me a puzzled smile. 

“Marc wants to know if we’re available for dinner with him, his wife, and Stefanie and her partner on Sunday?”

I was surprised by the request, but they had seemed to be more friendly toward us since the Alec incident. I figured it might do us some good to be sociable, so I shrugged. “Why not? Could be fun.”

Kat gave me a brilliant smile before telling Marc we would be there, then listened for a bit longer before asking, “Bring our guitars?”

Her eyes shifted to mine nervously. I reached up to run my fingers through her hair, causing her to relax into my touch. “Yeah…I’ll tell him to. Yep, see you then.” 

After she hung up, her eyes met mine, “It seems they wanna have a jam session after dinner. They all play apparently…”

She didn’t seem excited about that idea. “We don’t have to stay for that if you don’t want to.” 

Her nose scrunched up as she asked, “How do you feel about doing that?”

I shrugged, “I mean, it could be fun. I haven’t done anything like that in forever…but if you don’t want to…” 

Kat sighed, “No…you know what? I’m gonna do it. I need to play again. It’ll be good for me. Besides, you’ll be there with me, so I’ll be fine.” 

Her words caused a warmth to spread through me. I loved that she felt that way, that I could ease her anxieties. She was putting so much trust in me, more than anyone ever had. If only she understood how much that meant. I knew it couldn’t be easy after what she had gone through, which made it mean so much more. I gave her a soft smile before pulling her in for a tender kiss. 

Zee chose that moment to paw a glass that was still about one fourth of the way full of water off the coffee table, which broke our spell and the glass. 

“Zee, what the fuck?” I huffed out in frustration while Kat snorted out a laugh beside me. Zee gave me a defiant look as her tail whipped back and forth. I sighed as we moved to get up. Kat grabbed Zee to keep her safe while I moved to clean up the mess. Zee now seemed happy as a clam as she purred and snuggled against Kat. 

I gave Zee the side eye as I swept up the mess, “There are other less destructive ways to get our attention, young lady. That was not cool.” 

Zee seemed like she could care less as Kat scratched behind her ears and snickered at her complete disregard for my scolding. Once I got everything cleaned up, I decided to do some much needed plant care as Kat gave Zee the attention she was demanding. Zee’s need for affection didn’t last long. Once she had her fill, she simply jumped from Kats arms and made her way over to the top of her cat tree to groom herself. Kat scoffed at her dismissal as she stood, coming to stand next to me as I dusted, pruned, and misted leaves. Her arms snaked around my waist as she rested her chin on my shoulder and watched me work in silence for a few minutes. I could feel her lips brush against my skin as she asked, “Can you teach me how to do this?” 

I don’t know why, but her request had my heart racing. It made me feel giddy that she wanted to learn about my hobby. I glanced down at her with a smirk, “You mean you don’t already do this for your plants?” 

She snorted, “My plants are lucky to get water. They come to my house to survive, not live.” 

I shook my head and scoffed out a laugh, “That’s just depressing. Don’t tell me that. Imma have to start checking in on them.” 

She smiled against my neck, “I would be ok with that.” 

I pulled her around to stand in front of me, now leaning over her shoulder with my arms around her. My hands shifted through the leaves of the plant I was currently working on as I explained when to prune and the process for dusting and misting. She was full of questions as she took over to do it herself. I hugged her backside against me as I supervised, placing the occasional gentle kiss against her jaw and the curve of her neck. Once she got the hang of it, we both worked through all the plants in the room as we chatted and got to know each other better. I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to spend my free time, and I found it to be a wonderful and relaxing way to bond with her. 

Before we knew it, it was time for us to head off to rehearsal for the rest of the day. It was another grueling day in the dance studio and also filming day. After seven weeks of this, I could tell it was slowly wearing me down. This dance in particular was taking a lot out of me with it being very high energy. After six hours of it, my tank was running empty and I was beginning to make ridiculous mistakes with my footwork and frame. Kat seemed to be struggling as well. We were both slowing down and couldn’t seem to keep up with the music. At least it made for some interesting footage for the show. We eventually sat on the floor and settled for talking through some parts of it, deciding what still needed to be tweaked or changed and coming up with a game plan for the next two days. That part would probably be less exciting to watch, but we sort of didn’t care.

Once our studio time was up, we headed home. After a quick dinner, we showered together - too tired to do anything aside from getting clean. It wasn’t long before we crashed, falling asleep almost as soon as our heads hit the pillow. When I awoke the next morning to find Zee snuggled up next to me, I couldn’t recall having felt her get in the bed. Neither did Kat. We had obviously been out of it. 

We spent our Saturday morning outdoors with the intent to take it easy until our evening rehearsal time. We started with painting some planter pots on the back patio. I had somehow managed to con Kat into the activity over breakfast. She grumbled at first, citing her lack of artistic capabilities, but that grumbling soon abated when I sat down behind her. I made sure to pull her back to my front as snugly as possible before putting my arms around her waist and using my hands to guide hers, showing her different techniques for painting flowers and trees onto the plain terracotta. After she got the hang of it, I took advantage of my position to lavish her exposed neck with attention from my mouth. 

Once I had her properly worked up, I scooted away with a smirk so that I could paint my own pot. She scoffed, calling me a “fucking tease” as I shot a wink in her direction. My smugness soon faded when she began removing layers of clothing to reveal a lavender bikini that looked absolutely amazing against her golden skin. She was the smug one now as she pretended not to notice my eyes on her. 

I huffed out a laugh as I pulled my t-shirt off over my head, “Fine. Two can play that game, honey.”

She scrunched up her nose in annoyance, then flicked a paintbrush in my direction - causing speckles of paint to splatter all over my face and chest. It only escalated from there. Before it was over with, we were rolling around on top of the drop cloth covered in paint, laughing like a couple of idiots in between making out with each other. 

Once we realized our skin was beginning to stick together from the drying paint, we finally got up and made use of the outdoor shower stall to rinse each other off. Afterward, I jumped into the pool while she sat on the side with her legs swishing in the water, laughing at my antics and taking pictures of me with my phone. 

I eventually swam up to her, wrapping my arms around her legs and resting my head on her lap as she scratched at my dripping scalp. We sat like that for a time in silence, enjoying the sun and just being together. I could get used to this. It was almost addicting having her here by my side in this way, but it was also calming the storm that always swirled in my mind. The self-depreciating and negative thoughts were so far removed from my focus that I felt what I could only describe as normal? Unburdened? Content? I couldn’t really find a word to describe it. I was definitely happy, but there was something more with it. I knew it was because of her, keeping my demons locked away in the shadows where they belonged. 

I raised my head, squinting from the sun as I looked up at her with a smile. “Let's go out to the beach. I haven’t gotten to properly take advantage of it yet.” 

Her brows furrowed, “Is that a good idea?” 

I shrugged, “It’s a private beach…”

She scrunched up her face, “I don’t like getting in the ocean though…I’m not confident in my swimming capabilities.” 

I pouted, “You don’t have to go in very far. Besides, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. How about I just don’t let go of you?” 

She sighed, tilting her head to the side as she slowly gave in to the idea. I gave her a cheesy smile, “I’ll even let you bury me in the sand. You can give me a mermaid tail and boobs.”

She snorted out a laugh, “Fine…fine. I will not be cleaning the sand out of your ass though. That’s on you.” 

I backed away from her with a laugh and pulled myself up on the edge of the pool to get out, “Deal…Just remember you didn’t say anything about cleaning under my balls though.” 

She cackled as I held out my hands to pull her up from the ground, “Come on, let’s go pack a bag with the essentials. I may even have a tiny shovel and a bucket you can use.” 

That pulled another tinkling laugh out of her as she stood. 

I was true to my word, letting Kat bury me to do all manner of ridiculous things - including the mermaid tail and boobs. I helped with the boobs, shaping and cupping them to make sure they were the perfect roundness and size, which had us both in a fit of giggles. 

Afterwards, Kat stretched out on a towel under the oversized beach umbrella to read while I went for a dip in the ocean to try and wash the sand out of all the places it shouldn’t be. She laid on her stomach for a time, which had her voluptuous ass on display. I couldn’t help staring at it in those little bikini bottoms she had on. It was definitely begging to be spanked. After several minutes, she flipped over onto her back, propping herself up on her elbows as she not so subtly adjusted her top. She gave me a smirk and a wink while her boobs bounced around from where she tugged at the scraps of fabric. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it was working. I was already half hard from the visual. The dirty thoughts that followed finished the job and got me the rest of the way there. 

I ambled to the shore, noticing Kat’s gaze on me as I made my way toward her. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched me hungrily. My eyes surveyed the area, not seeing anyone near us and realizing the umbrella blocked the view from nearby houses. I intended to take full advantage of that as I sank to my knees at her feet. I crawled up her body, dripping water and peppering kisses along her heated skin as I went. I paused half way and shook my head like a dog, which elicited a loud squeal from her and laughter from the both of us before I captured her lips with mine. Her hips bucked against my raging hardon, causing me to groan into her mouth.

She hummed against my lips, “Feels like somebody enjoyed the view.”

I smiled, dropping my right hand down between her thighs, slipping a finger underneath the fabric of her bikini bottoms to find her soaking wet for me. “I think somebody else did too.”

She sighed softly as I began to rub between her slick folds, “Not gonna lie…you looked pretty fucking hot coming outta the water like that…better than any porno I’ve ever seen.”

I chuckled, leaning down to kiss along her neck as my fingers worked her over. “Sounds like my Kitten needs a little attention. Are you aching for me, honey?”

Her hands tangled in my hair as she nodded and let out a breathy, “Always.”

She began to grind against my hand as my fingers curled inside of her and my thumb made leisurely swirls around her sensitive bud. My lips found her ear as I spoke in a hushed voice, “Always so ready for me…such a needy girl. I want you to come for me, right here…where anyone could see.”

Her thighs began to tense around my hand as her body arched upward against me. I knew she was close. “You’re being such a dirty girl right now, you know that? Letting me play with you out in the open like this…and I think you kinda like it. You like being my dirty girl?”

I pulled back slightly to look at her even though she had a death grip on my hair. She nodded in response to my question, her brows pinching together and mouth falling open as my thumb increased pressure and speed. She was trembling now, so close.

I kissed along her jaw again, mumbling as I worked my way down the curve of her neck, “I’m gonna bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck you senseless as soon as we walk through the door.”

That sent her over the edge, causing her to bury her face against my shoulder to muffle the moans she was trying and failing to hold in. She collapsed against the towel, panting as a lazy smile spread across her face. Her hand slid down from my hair, cupping my cheek as she peered up at me, “The things you do to me…”

I chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’m not done yet…”

She narrowed her eyes at me as I stood and pulled her up from the ground with a smirk. Once she was standing, I didn’t hesitate to lean forward and throw her over my shoulder, giving her ass a good smack before I turned to walk back toward the ocean. She squealed and squirmed, but it didn’t do any good. I had a firm grip as I walked into the water up to my waist before dropping her in. She stood, cursing me as she sputtered out water and wiped at her face. I reached toward her with a smile, snaking my hand around her waist and pulling her into my embrace. She welcomed it, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me gently. 

I pulled her out a little further into the water, so that we could bob with the waves. I felt her grip tighten slightly, but she didn’t stop me. She was trusting that I wouldn’t let her go. She gave me a mischievous smile as she wrapped her legs around me, now rubbing her center against my dick and further stoking the flame that was burning inside of me.

I groaned, “Now who’s being a fucking tease?” 

Her lips moved along my neck, “Want me to take care of that little problem for you?” 

I huffed out a laugh, “No. I actually meant what I said earlier…I’m bending you over the counter and fucking you when we get back to the house.” 

She raised her head to look at me, her lips fighting a smile. I leaned in, brushing my nose against hers as I reached down to grab the globes of her ass, pulling her center tighter against me, “I’m also gonna spank you and make you come again. Maybe twice if you’re good for me.” 

I could feel her thighs clenching against me as her mouth clashed against mine. Our hands explored each other as the kiss deepened, her right one making its way down between us to rub at the bulge in my shorts. 

“Can we go back to the house now? Please? I need you…” she begged. 

My forehead pressed against hers as I whined, “As if I could deny you anything…”

My hand moved to cup her cheek as I leaned back to take her in. She was so fucking beautiful. The sun was glistening off her tanned skin and emphasizing the gold flecks in her amber eyes in a way I had never seen. I felt dumbstruck by it as my heart began to flutter in my chest. She was literally taking my breath away. 

One side of her lips twitched upward, “You OK?” 

I nodded as my thumb stroked her face, “Yeah…I’m just…I wanna remember everything about this moment. I umm…” I love you. 

I was so fucking close to saying it as she smiled up at me, but I was too afraid it would scare her away. It had only been two weeks. It was too soon. 

“I’ve just never umm…” 

My words trailed off as I shook my head to clear it. I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling but I needed to say something. 

“I’ve never experienced something like this with anyone before…felt how I feel in this moment. I can’t exactly put it into words…” 

Her hand dropped to my chest, no doubt feeling my heart pounding against it as her face softened. She leaned in to kiss me sweetly. The moment was ruined a few seconds later by a large wave that nearly knocked us over. She was back to sputtering out water and laughing as I pulled her toward the shore. 

We wasted no time packing up and heading toward the house. I pulled her into the outdoor shower stall, our hands and mouths now exploring each other as we washed away the sand and salt and peeled our suits off. Once we were sufficiently clean, I wrapped her in a towel which she secured around her torso as I grabbed one to put around my waist. 

She was barely through the sliding doors of the house before she dropped the towel and placed her palms on the island, arching her back toward me as she smiled seductively over her shoulder. I moved to stand behind her, gently running my fingertips up the center of her spine as her head dipped forward between her shoulders from the sensation. I felt her shiver as I made several passes up and down. On the last one, my fingertips continued upward, grazing the back of her neck before sinking my fingers into her hair, grabbing hold at the roots before tugging gently. She stood up straighter, melting into me as my left hand ran down the side of her body. I tugged her hair a little harder, angling her head to the side so I could access her neck to place gentle kisses along the length of it. Then, without warning, I smacked her ass. She moaned quietly. Another smack gave me the same result. Her breaths were coming faster now as the anticipation got to her.

My lips moved against her ear, “Tell me what you want, Kitten.” 

Her eyes slid shut as she exhaled, “I want you to have your way with me…any way you want.” 

I groaned against the side of her neck, “You’re gonna make me come saying shit like that.” 

She chuckled, pressing her ass against me just a little more, which resulted in another smack. She smiled this time. 

I tutted at her, “I think you like that…lean forward.” 

She did so as I dropped down to my knees, giving the other cheek a couple of smacks for good measure before landing one right to her center, causing her to flutter around nothing. My hands found her thighs, massaging deeply as they moved upward to her hips. She was dripping wet and practically begging for more when I leaned forward and licked up her folds, causing her to cry out as she gripped the edge of the island until her knuckles turned white. 

I dove into her cunt like a man starved, absolutely devouring her as my hands gripped her hips tightly to keep her from squirming. I had her falling apart within minutes as I sucked and licked at her bundle of nerves, giving the occasional slap to her ass as I worked. When she finally came, I didn’t stop or slow the pace, causing her to come for a second time in quick succession. 

Her legs nearly gave out on the second one. So, I held her around the middle with one arm as I stood. After dropping the towel from my waist, I used my free hand to drag myself through her slick. She moaned quietly each time the head nudged against her over sensitive clit. After notching at her entrance, I sank in slowly. Taking my time so she could feel every inch slide in and out at the perfect angle. 

I pulled her against my chest, one hand sliding around to grip under her chin, angling her face toward mine so I could see her. Her face was sweaty, flushed, and completely blissed out when she met my gaze. It had me feeling the same way I had when we were in the ocean. It felt like home. It felt like peace. I felt complete. 

My forehead fell against hers, “You’re so fucking beautiful…perfect for me…never letting you go.”

I was babbling like a fool and completely losing myself as my other arm held her around the waist. She laced her fingers through mine, gripping my hand tightly as I clung to her. I know I said I would fuck her, but this was so much more than that. I kept the pace slow and languid, our breathing completely synced as we drowned in each other’s gaze. 

I could feel Kat’s abdomen tighten as she quickly came again out of nowhere, squeezing me to the point that I could hardly move. Her jaw went slack, one of her hands flying up to twist into my hair as she let out a loud cry. I was seconds behind her, the feeling and intensity of her orgasm pulling me over the edge with her. My hand released her chin to reach for the counter as I attempted to steady myself, but it was no use.

My legs gave out, causing me to sink down to my knees - pulling Kat with me. I was somehow still pulsing and leaking inside of her as she melted against me.

I panted out a breathy, “Fuck…sorry. I-I…couldn’t stand…anymore. That was…intense.”

She sat on my thighs, both of us slumped against the side of the island as we tried to catch our breath. My arm around her tightened as I leaned in to kiss the side of her cheek. She turned, her lips seeking mine for a heated kiss that had me seeing stars.

When she finally pulled away, my attention was drawn to movement at my left. Kat’s eyes followed my line of sight and found Zee, who was sitting on the floor with her head tilted, her tail twitching from side to side as she looked up at us with concern? Confusion? Curiosity? I wasn’t really sure. Kat and I both burst into laughter, her leaning back into my chest as I hugged her snugly and laughed into her shoulder.

“Is this what it feels like when moms and dads get caught doing the dirty by the kids? Because I feel like that’s what just happened,” I said between chuckles.

Kat snorted out another laugh, “I dunno, but I think she’s kind of into it. She was totally watching.”

I gasped for air, “If that’s the case, she gets that shit from you. You’re the one who likes to watch.”

Kat leaned her head back against me, still laughing as I reached for a towel. I motioned for her to open her legs a bit to put it in place before I pulled out of her with a groan. Between the two of us, we had made an absolute mess of each other. We both shifted, stretching out on the tile because our legs still felt weak. 

I sighed, glancing at the clock on the microwave, “I think we’re gonna be late for rehearsal.” 

She waved a dismissive hand, “I don’t care…whatever that was…was totally worth it.”

We were late for rehearsal. Forty-five minutes late to be specific, but I really didn’t mind. There was more between us after that, somehow feeling more connected than we already were. Maybe it was just because of the intensity of everything. I couldn’t be sure. Whatever it was definitely carried over to our dancing. We were so on top of it, barely making the tiniest of mistakes. I felt newly energized and ready to win that fucking Mirrorball trophy as we went through the routine one last time. 

Since we had a long day planned for Sunday and felt pretty on top of the choreography, we headed home early. There was no way to improve perfection after all. 

Kat and I had just gotten home, and I was making some quick sandwiches for dinner when my cell rang. Lenny’s name flashed on the screen. I looked at the time, it was near 9:30 PM, which was sort of late for him. He tended to go to bed early since he got up before the sun rose most days. Worried something was up, I sucked some mayo off my fingers as I hurried to answer it. 

“Hey Len…”

“What the hell have you been doing?” he barked out before I could even finish my greeting. 

I winced, “What do you mean? I haven’t been doing anything.”

Kat’s wide eyes met mine in concern. I shrugged. 

He sighed, “Who were you with today?”

I was so fucking confused, “I was at dance rehearsal with Kat. That’s the only place I’ve gone. Why?”

I could hear him shuffling papers around on his end of the line, “TMZ just called. They have pictures of you at the beach kissing a woman.”

I grimaced as my eyes shifted back to Kat. Fuck. 

“How the hell did they get those? I was literally in my backyard on a private beach. There was no one else out there today.” 

Lenny huffed, “Then you obviously have an asshole neighbor who wanted a quick buck.”

I sighed, “Fuck.” I switched the phone to speaker so Kat could hear, then I asked “Can you tell who it is in the pictures?”

“They’re asking if it’s Kat. Is it?” 

Kat shrugged, waving her hand to go ahead and tell him the truth. “Can you tell who’s in the pictures?” I asked again. 

He was quiet for a minute, obviously looking at them, “I mean…I can’t. Most of them are blurry. It’s pretty far away. I can definitely tell it’s you, but most of the pictures of the woman are from the back...Is it her?”

I scrunched my eyes shut as I rubbed at the bridge of my nose, “Tell them it’s not her…but yes, it’s her.”

He scoffed, “Fucking hell, Dieter. I thought we were done with this shit? What do you think you’re doing? Are you using again?” 

My fists clenched together. I took a deep breath to calm myself as Kat came to stand next to me, placing a comforting hand on top of mine. 

“No…I’m not fucking using again. It’s not like that Lenny, OK? This is different. We’re like…together. It’s not…not a fuck buddy situation or anything. I care about her.” I puffed air out of my cheeks in frustration, now pacing around the kitchen nervously as Kat watched me in silence. 

“Look, we don’t want anyone to know yet. The producers can’t find out and the less that’s confirmed for Alec, the better. I need you and the team to keep this under wraps.” 

Lenny was unusually quiet now. I didn’t know how to take that. “Len, you still with me?” 

He cleared his throat, “Yeah, I’m just…processing. Does your therapist know about this? Is it really a good idea? I thought you weren’t getting involved with your co-stars anymore?” 

I rolled my eyes, “Look, I’m tryin’ not to be pissed about this because I know where you’re coming from. It’s my fault, I earned that…but trust me when I say this is different. And yes, my therapist knows. She’s been supportive of it. She likes Kat.” 

He sighed, “Ok, so how the hell are we supposed to handle this?”

I was still pacing as I talked through it, “Well…nothing we can do about the pictures. Maybe…”

I paused to think through my words before I continued, giving Kat a wide-eyed look as the idea sparked. “Maybe we take advantage of this. We say it’s not Kat…lie…say I’m seeing someone else but wish to protect her privacy. Use it as a misdirection…It might help settle the rumors about us and get the producers, Alec, and the paparazzi off her back some.” 

Lenny chuckled, “You really think your publicist is gonna go for that?” 

I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me, “I kind of don’t care. I’m going with it. I’ll head it off and do a cryptic Instagram post. Besides, it might be fun to fuck with Stacia and Joe some. I wanna see their heads explode when they realize their fairytale showmance isn’t happening after all.”

Kat snorted out a laugh over that one. She obviously thought it was funny, but I did want her input before I did anything. 

“Kat, are you good with that? I don’t wanna do anything without your consent.”

She nodded, “It is a funny thought to be honest. I’m cool with it. They’ve been fucking with us this whole time. It’s time to beat them at their own game.” 

I turned back to my phone, “You hear that, Len? This is probably gonna cause a little mayhem, but we’re here for it.” 

He grumbled, “Your publicist is gonna murder both of us.”

I chuckled, “Not my problem…better start making some calls because I’m posting something as soon as we hang up.” 

“Ugh, fine. Ok. This is all on you though.” 

I smiled, “Thanks Len, you’re the best. We’ll talk soon.” 

He grumbled some more then hung up without even saying goodbye. 

I turned to Kat and smiled nervously, “Well, looks like we have a project to do tonight. We need to look through my camera roll…just…don’t judge me for what you find.” 

Her brows furrowed, “Do I even wanna know what that means?”

I shrugged, “I mean…it’s just full of pictures of Zee and plants…and you.” 

Her brows arched, “Oh, really?”

I grimaced as my face heated, “Yeah, I may have saved a few I found online…and I sneak pictures of you frequently.”

She shook her head and laughed, “I can’t wait to see this…”  

As we sat eating our sandwiches, I handed my phone over. Kat scrolled in silence, an occasional smirk on her face before glancing up at me and shaking her head. After several minutes, her phone pinged a few times before she finally slid mine back over to me with a smile. 

“What did you just do?” I asked. 

Her smile widened, “I sent myself some pictures of you and Zee.” 

I leaned toward her, narrowing my eyes slightly. “Maybe I need to check your camera roll…” 

Her eyes widened, “Umm…mine is far more scandalous. I’ve saved some pictures of my own. You’ve done a lot of salacious photoshoots, you know that?” 

I chuckled, “Ahh, filling up the spank bank then. I’m flattered.” I gave her a cocky grin and waggled my eyebrows, “If you want some nudes all you have to do is ask. I might even let you take them yourself.” 

She shot a mischievous look over her glass as she took a sip, “Don’t give me any ideas…” 

I grabbed my phone, snickering as I unlocked it. “So, I think the backlit picture of you and Zee, you painting, lying in bed from behind, and then the one you took of me in the pool kissing your leg will do. I don’t feel like it's obvious that’s you in those pictures. I’ll just do a whole photo dump and keep it vague. Let them speculate away.”

She huffed out a laugh, “You’re about to cause all kinds of chaos with this.” 

I nodded, “Probably. I’ve never posted cutesy pictures of a woman before. It’s definitely making a statement…” 

(More after the graphic.)

The post did indeed cause chaos. Likes and comments began to flood in - most of them asking if it was Kat in the pictures. I responded to exactly one person with, “Did I tag Kat? No.” 

That set off a whole new onslaught of chatter and speculation. Kat egged it on by liking the original post and my comment. I could only imagine how my publicist was handling this. I was sure her head was probably about to explode. 

When I woke up on Sunday morning, Kat was lying against my chest with her leg thrown across mine. She was still asleep, so I reached over to the nightstand to grab my phone without waking her. I was almost afraid to see what awaited me when I opened Instagram. I found more of the same stuff from the previous night. It was officially my most liked and most commented post ever. 

I took a moment, taking in the sight before me. Ehh, we can do better than that. 

As if I wasn’t already causing enough trouble, I took a short video clip of my hand rubbing along Kat’s bare leg. It was obvious we were tangled up in bed, wrapped in nothing but sheets with a nice view of the ocean outside the French doors. I posted it. There was no caption, only emojis, “👉👌🤯🤯🤯😏” 

I threw in a few hashtags too, #PerfectMorning #MindBlown #WouldntChangeAThing

(More after the graphic.)

I was patiently awaiting a call from my publicist after that. She really might murder me over this one. 

I sat with a smug smile as I watched the comments roll in. One in particular caught my attention.

Beasty45: I really hope you’re not screwing Kat over too. She deserves better.

I had to appreciate the sentiment behind it and really hated people thinking that way. So, I hit reply.

BangingBravo1: Wow. Never. She’s my bestie. All is well. 👍👍

It wasn’t a lie. She was my best friend as far as I was concerned. 

I felt Kat stir against me. She groaned, hiding her face against my chest, “What time is it?”

I looked at the time, “You’ve got ten minutes before the alarm goes off.” 

She let out another groan as her eyes blinked open, “What are you doing?”

I snickered and handed her my phone, “Causing more chaos.” 

She squinted at the screen, then rolled her eyes as she handed it back to me with a laugh. “Now everyone knows you had a night of mind-blowing sex. Wonderful.”

“I know. I’m in trouble.” 

As if on cue, a text message popped up from my publicist.

Janine: What the fuck are you doing?!?! Stop it. Now.

I cackled, tilting the phone toward Kat so she could see it, “That’s tame for her. I usually get a call with lots of yelling. Trust me. She’s dealt with worse.”

Kat shook her head, sighing heavily, “Today is gonna be interesting…”

We crawled out of bed soon after that to get ready for the day. We had a morning rehearsal slot, so that was first on our agenda. We had the routine down by this point, so we just focused on cleaning things up and tried not to wear ourselves out too much.

After rehearsal, we had our weekly spray tan. As we were walking into Television City Studios, I realized that I had a missed text from Janine from earlier in the day saying that TMZ had posted the article and pictures, so that was now out there for the world to see.  They had to add an addendum once they realized I had made the social media posts, completely spoiling their 'breaking story'.

(More after the graphic.)

Kat and I were thankful the staff got us in and out quickly for the spray tan because we were definitely getting some looks and whispers. I imagine the confusion was spreading because we were fairly certain the majority of the cast thought we were together. We couldn’t help laughing about it as we left, wondering if Joe and Stacia had heard the news yet. 

Kat ran to her house to check on things and pick up her guitar while I went home to feed Zee her dinner. Zee was in full menace mode as she tried to smack things off the counter while I prepared her food. It seemed to be her new favorite pastime, apparently enjoying getting me in a tizzy. She knew what she was doing, freezing mid shove when I would lock eyes with her. I concluded that she must think it’s some sort of game. A game that was fun for her and a nightmare for me. I ended up shooing her out of the kitchen so I could work in peace.

As I was finishing up with Zee’s gourmet meal, Kat came into the kitchen. Her brows furrowed as she pointed her finger to something behind me and busted out her best mom voice, “Zee, don’t you dare.” 

I turned to see what the hell she was up to now, my eyes landing on her as she shoved a small potted succulent off the window sill. Luckily the pot did not break, but dirt spilled everywhere. 

I sighed, “Why is this a thing all of a sudden?” 

Zee meowed as she jumped down to rub against Kat’s legs and shot me some nasty side eye. Kat snickered as she shooed Zee away so she could clean up the mess. 

“Maybe you’re not preparing her food fast enough. Best get to it, cat daddy.” 

I huffed, “She messes with me, and I’ll go get some of that cheap nasty pellet garbage and she can have that. Little punk…”

Kat laughed at me as I continued to grumble about Zee’s impatience while Zee rubbed up against my legs and yelled at me until I finally set her plate down on the food mat. Zee rushed to her plate and ate with enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes at her as I turned to Kat, “All right, now that the diva is taken care of…you ready to go?” 

Kat nodded, “Yep. Let’s get this sideshow on the road.” 

My hand found its way to her hip and squeezed gently as I leaned in to give her a quick peck on the lips, “I should probably be offended by that, but it might actually be an accurate description…of me anyway.” 

She playfully pushed my shoulder and laughed, “At least you’re aware. Let’s go.” 

On the drive to Marc’s house, I could feel a twinge of anxiety forming in the pit of my stomach since I didn’t really know what to expect. From what I knew about Marc, he was a family man and seemed pretty drama free as far as his public persona was concerned. That helped some, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be alcohol or other things floating around. I knew it was something I would have to face eventually, but I wasn’t sure how ready for it I actually was. However, one glance in Kat’s direction suppressed those feelings. I knew she had my back, and I knew I would never do anything to let her down. 

A short time later we pulled into Marc’s driveway and made our way to the front door. He greeted us, making small talk as he led us out to the back patio where he introduced us to his wife Valarie, and Stefanie’s partner, Kira. He was cooking hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill while everyone else sat around and chatted. So, as these things go, I joined him at the grill while Kat joined the ladies. We went into more small talk about the show, rehearsals, how I was feeling about ballroom dancing in general. It was all pretty surface level. Then, he asked me if I wanted a drink as he moved toward a cooler. I was taken off guard and sort of froze up.  

He seemed to sense my hesitation as he opened the lid, giving me a gentle smile, “I’ve got water, a couple different kinds of soda, and if you’re feeling really adventurous…some juice boxes.” 

I visibly relaxed as a smile tugged at my lips, “Water…please.” 

His smile widened as he pulled a bottle out of the ice and handed it to me. He grabbed a juice box for himself, unwrapping the straw and stabbing it into the top with pursed lips. “Sorry, I probably should have worded that differently. I know you're sober.” 

I shook my head and waved it off, “No big deal. Don’t even worry about it.” 

His brows furrowed, eyes shifting up to meet mine as he took a quick pull from the straw before setting the drink down beside the grill. “No, I get it. I’m eight years sober myself. I remember how hard and awkward it was in those early days. People can be weird when you say you don’t drink…or do anything else for that matter.” 

I nodded, “Yeah, I’ve been lucky enough to not run into that yet. I’ve been keeping to myself a lot…” 

He picked up the tongs to flip the patties on the grill, “So how long has it been for you?”

I screwed the cap off the water and took a swig, “Ten months. Longest I’ve ever been sober since all that shit started.”

He smiled, “That’s good. When you hit a year, we’ll have to do something to celebrate. That’s a big deal.”

I nodded, feeling warmth creeping up my cheeks from the praise. “Yeah, I mean…I think I owe Kat for a lot of it. She’s been so supportive when others haven’t…It makes a lot of difference when you have people in your corner.” 

Marc nodded, “That’s so true. I never would have made it without Val. She held me to it, and I’m so thankful for that.” He paused, turning toward me with raised brows. “You know, if you ever need to talk about it or anything…I don’t mind. Sometimes it helps to talk through things with someone that’s been there. Especially if you’re having a moment…” 

He pulled out his phone, “No pressure, but we can exchange digits that way you have it.” 

I reached to pull my phone out of my pocket, “Yeah…sure. That’s really nice of you actually.” 

I gave him my new number, then he sent me a text message so I could save his to my contact list. That was a development I wasn’t expecting, but I was strangely happy about it. I suddenly felt much better about how the evening was going to go. Kat caught my eye, giving me a questioning look. Something must have shifted about my body language, and she could sense it. I smirked, giving her a quick wink before taking another drink of water. 

My attention shifted back to Marc as he handed me a large platter to hold while he piled the different meats on top of it, announcing the food was ready. We settled into easy conversation as we ate, getting to know one another a little better. Everyone seemed at ease. There was no pressure or awkwardness. It was nice to have normal conversation without all the posturing and cockiness that often came with Hollywood type gatherings. It was exactly what I needed. 

As we all became more comfortable with each other, they got a little braver with their questions. Which led to Stefanie giving Kat and I a deadpan stare before asking, “So what’s really going on with you two? I’m not buying whatever shit TMZ put out today.” 

Kat and I gave each other a nervous glance, I shrugged and held my hand up in surrender toward her indicating I was good with whatever she wanted to say. 

She took a deep breath, smiling nervously as her eyes roamed around the table, “Well…we’re…”

She paused, her brows arching as her eyes found mine again. “I mean yeah…we’re together, but we’re trying to keep it under wraps…for several reasons.”

They were all smiling at us now. Stefanie threw her arms in the air like she had just won something, “I fucking knew it! I knew it. How long?” 

Kat and I laughed at her enthusiasm. “Not long. Just since New York,” I answered.

Stefanie playfully shoved Marc, “I fucking told you. You owe me $100.” 

Marc rolled his eyes, “Fine, I’ll Venmo you.” 

Kat and I both scoffed, laughing over the fact they were making bets. 

Marc pulled out his phone and began tapping away, “Don’t worry guys, we won’t say anything. I know Alec is an issue.”

Kat gave him a tight smile, “Yeah, we figured it best not to provoke him as much as possible. He’s looking for any excuse he can find to make what happened be my fault. There’s also Stacia and Joe with their meddling…I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they had anything to do with this.” 

Valarie’s brows furrowed, “So what’s with the beach pictures and social media posts then?”

I chuckled, “Well, I apparently have an asshole neighbor that took pictures of us in what is essentially my back yard and sold them to TMZ. They reached out to my team asking if it was Kat, so I told them to deny it. I’m just gonna play it off like I’m seeing someone else…a total misdirection. At minimum, it’ll cause a little chaos and make Stacia and Joe lose their shit. We’ll see how long it lasts.” 

Everyone laughed. Stefanie clapped her hands several times before announcing, “If anyone asks, we’ve all met Dieter’s new woman and she’s amazing. I’m totally backing this chaos.”

Agreements sounded out around the table which had Kat and I leaning into each other and laughing. We relaxed some after that. Now that our secret was out, I felt more comfortable showing affection toward her and her toward me. It was nice not to have to hold back, to be able to reach out and touch her when I wanted to, to put my arm around her or rest my hand on her thigh. At least we now felt like we had a safe space among friends. 

Marc eventually steered the conversation to Kat’s plans after this season ended, which was something she and I hadn’t really discussed. We had been very much in the present up to this point and I was suddenly feeling like an asshole for not asking about it myself. 

Kat’s excitement was clear as she answered, “Well, I’m really hoping to open up my own dance studio…and I would love to offer some classes for things that are a little harder to find around here. I still need to do more market research to see how that would look, but we can always have the normal stuff to fall back on too. I haven’t got to put as much work into yet as I would like, but once the show is over, I’m gonna jump in head first and see what happens.”

Marc seemed extremely interested in this, leaning forward with excitement in his eyes, “That’s amazing. I was actually considering doing the same. I still haven’t decided if I’m gonna do another season or not…but I did want to look at something like that when I’m finished. Maybe we can team up.” 

Everyone began to throw ideas around at that point. It seemed like there was a real possibility something was brewing. I made a mental note to bring it up with Kat again later. I wanted to make sure I was supportive and help in any way I could. I also liked the thought of helping her plan for the future, because I really hoped that I would be welcomed as part of it. 

After we finished up with dinner, we moved to the garage. Marc had converted the space to his “Jam Room”. It was full of various instruments - a piano in one corner while a drum set sat in the other. Several different types of guitars hung on the wall along with some small handheld percussion instruments. Microphones and small speakers sat around the room. It seemed to be a proper setup for making music, which surprised me. I wasn’t expecting to walk into this. 

Kat looked almost giddy as she took in the space, which surprised me. She seemed to be coming out of her shell, which was understandable. They did well to make us feel welcome and relaxed. 

Marc pulled an electric guitar down from the wall while Kira took her place at the drums, making it obvious they had done this before. Marc began to strum a slow sexy tune as Kira joined in with a beat. Stefanie started dancing around the room to the music as Valarie sat down at the piano. My gaze turned to Kat, she looked amused as her eyes met mine. 

I smiled, arching my brows as my head began to sway with the music. She laughed, her cheeks flushing as she watched me move. I took it up a few notches, rolling my torso and hips as I shuffled toward her. I raised my arms, moving them to the beat, biting my bottom lip as I enticed her to join me. I was dancing for her, showing her what else these loose hips can do outside of the ballroom. 

“What’s the matter, honey? Too hot for you?” I asked. 

I could hear everyone else chuckling behind me as I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the center of the room to do a little old fashioned dirty dancing. When the song concluded, I pulled her in for a quick kiss and everyone whooped and whistled, which had her blushing even more. Once everyone settled down, I leaned in next to her ear, “Want me to go get your guitar?” 

She gave me a toothy grin and nodded. After another quick kiss, I made my way outside to the car. I was back with both of our cases within minutes as Marc found a couple more chairs and microphones for us to join the circle. A couple of hours passed by in no time as we took turns choosing songs to play. Those who knew them joined in while the others just vibed. It was honestly the most fun I had in a long time. 

Stefanie asked if she could take some videos to post on social media. We all agreed, figuring it would be good content to promote the show since we were supposed to be doing that anyway. I felt less weird about it since it was a whole group of people from the cast, rather than just Kat and me. I still felt pretty strongly about not taking advantage of our relationship to boost my own career. Deep down I knew that any content of us together would do that, but I did want to have some limits on it. She wasn’t a plaything for me to use as I saw fit. It needed to be on her terms. 

After several minutes passed, Marc suggested that we go live and maybe take some song requests from the chat and answer some fan questions. After some coaxing, we all agreed. As Marc worked to set up the tripod, Stefanie turned to me with a mischievous smile, “Dieter, please try and behave yourself around Kat. I don’t wanna be on TMZ tomorrow for encouraging an affair that will destroy your imaginary girlfriend’s heart.” 

That drew a round of laughter from everyone as I scrunched up my face, “I guess I already have a reputation…I’ll try my best.” 

Once Marc had his phone set up, he mirrored his screen to one of the TV’s hanging on the wall so we could all see the chat, then we went live. Within minutes there were over two thousand viewers. The numbers only climbed from there, with people posting in all caps about Kat and I being there. 

Kat snickered and pointed at the screen, “I guess the Dieterina Stans found us already.”

We waved and said ‘hi’ to everyone. Since it was Marc’s Instagram account, we motioned for him to take over and share what was going on. The song recommendations began to roll in, with Marc and Stefanie taking the lead on the first two. After that, the chat flooded with requests for me and Kat to sing. I deferred to her on that, asking if she wanted to do one. She shrugged, then asked the viewers for some song recs. We laughed over some of the options thrown out as she joked about them not being her style. Suddenly her brows arched as if something caught her attention. A smirk formed on her lips, “Hmm, that one is certainly a mood.”

We all gave her a questioning look. “Which one?” I asked. 

She pulled the lyrics and chords up on her phone and propped it on the stand in front of us. I couldn’t help cackling. It would definitely send a message. 

She turned to everyone else, “You guys know Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation?"

Stefanie bounced up and down, laughing maniacally and clapping her hands. Probably having the same thought that I did. “I do! I’ll do the backup vocals.” 

I swapped out my acoustic for one of Marc’s electric guitars for this one, playing the intro as Kat and Stefanie started in on the ethereal vocables that the song opens with. Kat’s voice took on an almost haunting melancholic tone as she dove into the first verse. The smirk still graced her lips as a knowing look passed between us. This was totally a major ‘fuck you’ to Alec, and I knew I was going to love every second of it. 

🎶Listen to Eyes on Fire Here.

I'll seek you out / Flay you alive / One more word and you won't survive / And I'm not scared / Of your stolen power / I see right through you any hour I won't soothe your pain / I won't ease your strain / You've been waiting in vain / I've got nothing for you to gain

It was hard not to be absolutely mesmerized by her as she worked her way through the lyrics. It was obvious to me that something had finally shifted for her. She had taken back her life and was owning it - putting it out there for the world to see. She had escaped hell and was now controlling the narrative. It was her game to play. I loved seeing her like this, free to be herself and not holding back. It was a beautiful sight. My infatuation with her was probably written all over my face as I strummed the chords to the song, but I didn’t care. She was stunning like this. 

Stefanie continued to sing the background vocals as Kat moved on to the next verse. Her eyes focused on me hungrily, our connection causing the air around us to vibrate. There was just something about us and music. It didn’t matter if we were dancing, playing, or singing. It caused an electricity to buzz around us, linking us together in a metaphysical way.     

I'm taking it slow / Feeding my flame / Shuffling the cards of your game / And just in time / In the right place / Suddenly I will play my ace I won't soothe your pain / I won't ease your strain / You've been waiting in vain / I've got nothing for you to gain

At this point, the song was reaching the crescendo. Kira joined in with the drums and Marc with the bass guitar. I layered my vocals along with Kat’s, the sound even more haunting now as we finished out the final verse. 

Eyes on fire / Your spine is ablaze / Felling any foe with my gaze / And just in time / In the right place / Steadily emerging with grace / Felling any foe with my gaze / Steadily emerging with grace

The chat was going absolutely insane when we finished. I thought I even saw a few “fuck Alec” comments fly by in the chaos of it. 

Stefanie began to clap again, “I think we should start a band. We’re kicking ass here.” 

We all laughed as she turned to me, “Alright Bravo, you’re up. Whatta ya got?” 

I pursed my lips, “I dunno, I’m open to suggestions…” 

We watched the chat flood with comments, there were a few song recommendations but there were even more questions. 

Where’s Bravo’s new lady? Funny how everyone else has their romantic partner there except for Dieter. Dieter is so full of shit. We all know it’s Kat.  Yo Bravo, where’s your beach babe? We wanna meet her! Has Kat met Dieter’s new girl?

I let out a nervous laugh as I glanced at Kat. She winked then gave me a mischievous smile before turning to the camera, “Guys chill. Yes, I’ve met Dieter’s significant other. I know her very well. We’re all friends.”

I chuckled, “Yeah, don’t worry. She’s not being left out…she’s here with me.”

This is the biggest conspiracy since the moon landing.  I’m too high for this shit. What’s even happening? I thought he was gay? This hurts my soul. You two are made for each other! #Dieterina #NotJustFriends Maybe it's a throuple situation. No way they haven’t boned.  Poor Kat, she's like the 7th wheel now. 

I couldn’t help laughing at the comments, “Guys, come on, be nice…back to the song recs please.” 

A song title finally caught my attention. I took a minute to check in with Kira and Marc to see if they were familiar with it before adjusting the mic so that I could stand for this one. I needed to be able to move around a bit. Once I was situated, Marc got us started with the opening guitar riff for The Devil Wears Lace. It was a nice little blues song about desire, temptation, attraction, and obsession. 

Kat, Stefanie, and Val provided entertainment by dancing around us. It was all good fun until Kat’s eyes locked with mine. Her moves became more provocative as she approached me. By the time I hit the chorus she was the only thing I could focus on. 

🎶Listen to The Devil Wears Lace Here.

So light me in flames / Just as hot as you need / Let me see the good girl you wanted to be / All of my praise, only from me  / I can be the one who could set you free / Fall from your grace / Turn up the heat / I feel I'm going down, hands gripping the sheets / Settin' the pace / Number the beast / Got me by the belt, heart skippin' a beat / The devil and me

She moved around me, against me, up and down my body. I played into it of course, wiggling against her as I belted out the lyrics - both of us giving each other mischievous smiles. This was definitely going to get the conspiracy theories going. I couldn’t bother to care because she looked so fucking hot dancing like this. The slow sensual roll of her body was a sight to behold, and it was all mine. I loved to see her let loose and have fun like this. 

When the song ended, she strutted away before bursting into laughter. It was a little infectious, causing me to do the same. The chuckles of everyone else drew my attention to the monitor. The comments had gone completely unhinged by this point.

They definitely fucked, at least once.  Nobody pay attention to that vibrating sound… This is how pornos start. I’m not mad about it.  So, IT IS a throuple then?  I think Dieter’s secret lady likes to watch. I don’t blame her…Kat’s ass is a work of art.  I’m still calling it a conspiracy. Kat is the beach chic. I know that ass and those thighs.  

I huffed out a laugh and shook my head, “Can we not talk about Kat like that please? She’s not a piece of meat.”

Kat snorted out a laugh as she squeezed my arm in thanks. Marc jumped in to try and redirect the conversation, “Alright guys…I think one more and we’re gonna call it a night since we do have a rather long day tomorrow.”

He paused, obviously reading the comments about the show before chuckling, “Oh obviously Stefanie and I are gonna win the trophy.”

I laughed, “Hey now! We’ve gone all night without trash talking. Don’t you start…besides, obviously Kat and I are gonna win. I’m gonna call it though, we’ll be the top two groups. Nobody is beating us.” 

Marc rolled his eyes, “Yeah, don’t try to sweet talk me after insulting me.” 

Stefanie cut in, placing her hands on her hips as she spoke, “Now boys. Let’s play nice or Kat and I will drop you both and claim the win for ourselves.” 

Marc and I both rolled our eyes in response as Val cut in, “Hey, how about we stop bickering and end with that song we did earlier. That was a good one…”

Marc and I both furrowed our brows, waiting for her to continue. She chuckled at our similar expressions before answering, “All on My Mind.”

We nodded as I shouted, “Ok…Kat we’re up.”

Kat and I took our place, sharing a freestanding mic as everyone jumped in with their instruments. I took lead, singing the main verses while Kat joined in on the chorus, alternating the lines. 

🎶 Listen to All on My Mind Here.

I said, "Oh, honey, just like that" / I give you my loving and you give it right back / I said, "Oh, honey, just like this" / Hanging on white knuckle grip

Kat and I sang together for the remainder of the chorus while the rest of the group jumped in on the repeated lines.

It's all on my mind / Feel something when I kiss you good night / It's all on my mind / Feel something when I open my eyes / It's all on my mind / Feel that I could be your sweetest compromise / It's all on my mind / It's all on my mind

Our eyes stayed on each other, big smiles on our lips as we belted out the words in unison. I couldn’t deny that we sounded amazing together. Our voices complemented each other perfectly, especially when we leaned into the bluesy sounds of the music. Hell, truth be told, we all sounded pretty amazing as a group. Nothing could compare to how it felt singing with Kat though. We finished out the last verse together, completely at ease and having fun. 

Well, me and my baby are the bass in the beat / A lo-fi rhythm, the sweat and the heat / Come on now lover, won't you follow my lead / And we'll move on into the night

The energy in the room was high as we finished it out after everyone gave it their all on the chorus refrain. It was probably the best one of the night. The chat was going wild with praise for everyone, but Kat and I were getting most of the attention. 

Can we just get this crew their own show? So much more entertaining. 🙌 Dieter and Kat are amazing together. 😍😍😍 I had no idea Dieter Bravo had this much talent. Kat, marry me. I’m NOT an asshole. 🙏🙏 Both? Both. Yes. 😏 

We all said our goodbyes after that, promising to do another live soon since we had so much fun together. Once Marc disconnected, we all broke into a fit of laughter.

Marc was still chuckling as he said, “I’m sure Stacia and Joe are gonna have a lot to say about that.”

“Yeah, I’m sure my publicist will too. I’ve done nothing but cause chaos all day,” I replied. 

Kat came over, snaking her arm around my waist. She fought a smile as she leaned into me, “And, the plot thickens. Apparently, we’re in a throuple with your mystery lady now.”

I shook my head, “Yeah…I’m not even upset about that. I’ve been accused of worse things. I’m not sharing my Kit Kat though…” I paused, reaching down to swat her butt cheek, “This is Bravo’s ass.” 

Her eyes darkened as she attempted to give me an admonishing look, but she failed. She was totally turned on by that. 

My brow arched as she fought a smile. We were completely oblivious to everyone’s amused eyes on us. When we finally turned to look at them, a blush crept up Kat’s cheeks. 

I cleared my throat, “Well, everyone…this was fun. We should do it again.” 

They all nodded with knowing smiles. “We should probably…uhh…head out. We all have a ridiculously early start in the morning and I wanna be well rested so I can kick your ass on the dance floor.” 

Marc and Stefanie both gave me a deadpan stare before flipping the bird, causing me to let out a boisterous laugh. “Ahh, I think I’ve finally found my people.”

Kat and I said our goodbyes, grabbing our guitar cases then heading out the door. The air around us was thick on the drive home. Kat definitely didn’t help the situation with her hand wandering dangerously close to a very much at attention little Bravo. Her eyes cut toward me with a smirk on her lips every time she did it. 

We started pulling each other’s clothes off as soon as we walked through the door. We may not have gone to bed at a decent hour, but we definitely fell asleep happy and satiated. 

Monday mornings meant performance day. We followed our usual routine, arriving at Television City studios extremely early so we could get our camera blocking out of the way first. That went smoothly and we nailed the routine on each run through. We were feeling pretty confident about it as we headed toward wardrobe for our final fitting. 

Kat’s costume for the week really had my attention. There was just something about her in red. It looked amazing against her dark features and golden skin, giving her a sultry edge. This dress was no exception, the way it draped around her body and gathered in the back accentuated her curves in the best way. Her back and shoulders were completely exposed, emphasizing the muscular contours. This was an area that I had never given much attention to on woman, but hers were so fucking sexy. I couldn't help staring as she raised her arms and turned this way and that for Amy to pin bits of fabric for some minor alterations. The image was seared into my brain, I knew it would be the subject of one of my paintings later. 

I ended up ditching the jacket and tie that went with my costume. It felt too constricting for the choreography of this dance. Before it was all said and done, I only wore the red pants and red velvety button up shirt - leaving several buttons open and rolling up the sleeves, at Kat’s request, of course. 

(More after the graphics.)

Hair and makeup were pretty uneventful. We managed to snag our usual ladies, filling our time with banter and jokes as they worked. They gave Kat a sleek up-do this time. I swear she rolled her eyes every time they added a new bobby pin. I sort of didn’t mind it though, because I knew I would be the one to help her take them all out later. She suggested they leave my hair in loose curls this week. To my surprise, they actually did. However, they still put a shit ton of gel and hairspray in it to my dismay. 

We had managed to avoid Alec and Lana the entire morning. We assumed he was hiding out in his dressing room as much as he could. Word seemed to be spreading about what an absolute asshole he was to Kat, and many didn’t take too kindly to it. He was no longer the popular one of the cast and Kat loved every second of it. His ego was definitely taking a hit, which was the one thing that would hurt him the most. 

We could only be lucky for so long. Alec and Lana were already in the staging area when we got there. He didn’t even bother to try and hide the disdain on his still slightly bruised face. Lana kept shooting glances our way with an odd expression. It was almost smug, maybe? I couldn’t quite figure it out. Kat and I made sure to watch ourselves since the backstage cameras were circling like sharks, being sure to keep our interactions friendly between each other. We also made a point to not look Alec and Lana’s way after the initial sizing up. We didn’t want to give the producers anything to work with. 

Kat did the opening performance with Marc and the rest of their group, then rushed to change. I stayed with her the entire time, not chancing leaving her alone while the asshole was in the same building. There would not be another repeat of what happened after New York. 

Alec and Lana were two performances ahead of us, still doing very well and obtaining a high score. They scored 2 points under Marc and Stefanie, which put them in second place for the night. If Kat and I had it our way, they would soon be in third. 

We went through our usual routine of picking a hype song. I took the lead again this week, pulling up one of my favorite rock songs, You Shook Me All Night Long. Kat gave me that little smirk that I loved so damn much as she shook her head and laughed at me. I shrugged before transitioning into some of my goofy dance moves - pursing my lips as I wiggled my hips. She joined in of course, laughing at my ridiculousness through the entirety of it.

Before we knew it, it was our turn. Kat took her place in the center of the dance floor. As the music began to play, I walked toward her seductively, caressing her cheek as I circled her before grazing her nose with mine. After fanning her outward, our fast paced choreography synced with the quick beat of the Spanish style guitars. We commanded the attention of the room with our strong staccato footwork and vivacious presence. It was every bit as dramatic as we had intended it to be. 

I’ll admit, I was nervous about my solo part. Up until this point, I hadn’t really had choreography this challenging without Kat by my side. The quick and precise body movements along with the flamenco style footwork while trying to exude assertive energy really was a lot of work. However, we only had to do it once. I didn’t have to pace myself for hours of rehearsal time, which meant I put everything I had into it. By the time I reunited with Kat to finish out the last part of the routine, I was feeling pretty damn cocky about the whole thing. The cockiness only added to the overall effect and took the performance over the top. 

Kat’s movements were fluid and graceful as she danced around me, waving her flowy skirt. We continued with the stomping footwork, shaping our arms and hands into dramatic poses as we sidestepped each other. The electricity between us was buzzing at max levels as it always did when we performed together. The intensity of her gaze nearly took my breath away the handful of times our eyes connected. We were both in the zone and fucking killing it. We ended with a dramatic lift. I caught her by the hand before she fell back onto the floor for a dip to end it. 

I pulled her upward and wrapped my arms around her as the crowd’s near deafening screams and applause sounded around us. I had to fight the urge to crash my lips against hers at that moment. There was so much adrenaline and passion between us that I could have burst into flames from it. I wanted nothing more than to get her home and work some of it off. 

We went through the whole routine of doing the interview and waiting for our scores. With massive effort, we managed to keep our hands off each other in any inappropriate way. The whole thing was a blur. I don’t think I paid a lick of attention to anything the judges actually said. All I know is we got another perfect score, putting us in first place - again. To our surprise, we were met with more cheers than usual from the cast. Marc and Stefanie were the loudest among them of course. 

Marc and Stefanie invited us out for a celebratory dinner afterwards. I left it up to Kat. She declined, citing how this week had worn her out and she wanted to go home and get some rest before we woke up to do it all over again. They were bummed but understanding. I was a little bummed too, until we walked through the door at my place. 

Kat was definitely not as worn out as she let on, dragging me upstairs to the bedroom, peeling clothes off as we went. After a rather passionate round of sex, I made sure to give her a lot of aftercare that included a massage and hot bath while I made her some dinner. She might not have been feeling it right then with the rush of endorphins we both had surging through our veins, but I knew she would be soon. This week had been rough, and I wanted to see to it that she was properly taken care of so that we were ready to take on whatever week 8 had in store for us. 

✨Fun Fact: The song that Dieter and Kat are dancing to is this chapter is called Uccen, which translate to "The Wolf". Given that Dieter wears that little wolf ring, I found it fitting.

✨Your Paso Doble video for this chapter can be found HERE. Seriously, one of the best performances ever. It won and Emmy! This couple is married in real life and always burn up the dance floor when they perform.

Next: Week 8

A/N: So, this got posted a couple days later than I had planned. It was a doozy to edit and I'm sure I probably missed a lot. I do apologize but work did indeed kick my ass last week. Hopefully it was worth the wait.

We got lots of smutty goodness in this chapter. I 100% blame Mr. Pascal for his holiday beach antics. There was just too much inspiration. Some of it was planned and some of it wasn't. I'm not sorry.

Dieter and Kat are getting pretty close. They are completely embedding each other in the other's life. All of Dieter's people know now and Kat's sister knows. Dieter is pouring his heart out and sharing about his past, yet Kat is still in her head about everything. Do we smell drama brewing there?

They've also made some new friends. How are we feeling about Marc and crew? Good or bad?

Dieter has started his Instagram live shit. More to come on that. Also...his Instagram posts, that man is stirring up all the drama with those. Good or bad idea?

Zee got some love in this chapter. I love me some good Dee and Zee drama. They are both shit heads and we love them for that.

There was so much that went down in this chapter that I can't think of what all to highlight. So, please do show some love with a reblog and sound off about it. I wanna hear all the unhinged thoughts!

Week 8 will bring us the Viennese Waltz, and with that comes LOTS of drama. Y'all might want to have a tissue handy, because the shit is going to hit the fan.

Until next time,

💜Mysty

Chapter Credits: - Giving @avastrasposts credit for the SuccDee name. She saw it when I didn't, even though it was right there. -Major credit to @bitchwitch1981 for song inspo. She turned me onto The Devil Wears Lace and All on My Mind.

Taglist: @titlee78 @legendary-pink-dot  @survivingandenduring @wannab-urs  @harriedandharassed

@hisandsnakes  @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing  @runningmom94  @sin-djarin

@cakipy-blog  @missladym1981  @guelyury  @weho2kcmo  @alokaerza  

@girlofchaos  @trulybetty  @bitchwitch1981  @madnessofadaydreamer

@darkheartgatita  @jazzloveslatte  @timpletance  @musings-of-a-rose  @samiamproductions

@myloveistoolittle  @for-a-longlongtime   @copperhalfcent  @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter

@burntheedges  @stevie75  @bunniboo0015  @quicax3  @jackie923

@sherala007  @pastelnap  @angelofsmalldeath-codeine  @jessthebaker  @rebel-held

@gwendibleywrites  @senorabond  @annalovesflorida  @sandaltoesocks  @katw474

@txlady37 @inkmonster21 @sunnytuliptime @jeewrites

[samwisethewitch]

Queering the elements

In my last post, I talked about the origins of the whole "masculine/feminine energy" thing that we see in witchcraft and occultism. In this post, I want to share an example from my own practice of how I honor traditional gender associations while also making room for more varieties of gender identity and expression, using the classical elements as an example.

To be clear, this is just one example of how we can queer Western occultism. This is what works for me, but you might find that something else works better for you. That is perfectly fine, and I encourage you to do your own brainstorming and find what resonates with you.

I know some queer witches choose to remove gendered associations from their practice entirely, and I think that's totally valid. I, personally, think gendered energies do have a place in my practice, but that goes way beyond just masculine/male and feminine/female.

Binary gender is not inherently bad. I think we can work with masculine and feminine energies while also making room for gender identities that fall outside of that binary. Personally, I think making space to acknowledge and celebrate nonbinary, agender, and genderfluid identities on the same level as binary genders is an important part of this work.

The model I use for the elements in my practice was created by my partner, who has given me permission to share it here. This model still connects the elements with gendered energies, but in a way that is much more inclusive.

Earth is feminine because of its associations with nourishing, community building, and practicality, things I see reflected in the women in my culture, both cis and trans.

Fire is masculine because of its associations with movement, passion, and determination, things I see reflected in the men in my culture, both cis and trans.

(To be clear, I'm not saying that only women can be nurturers or that only men can be passionate and determined. Obviously, any person of any gender can have any of these traits.)

Air is associated with agender and nonbinary identities and with anyone who does not feel a strong attachment to any particular gender. Air is ethereal, thoughtful, and intellectual, traits I see reflected in the nonbinary and agender people around me.

Water is associated with genderfluid and genderqueer identities, and with anyone whose identity cannot be easily labeled. Water is mysterious, flexible, and intuitive, traits I see reflected in the genderfluid and genderqueer people around me.

I like this model because it still includes some of the traditional gender associations from older occult practices, but it opens things up to embrace more identities and experiences. For my practice, this is a good balance between tradition and inclusivity.

I'd love to hear from other queer witches about if and how y'all work with gendered energies in your practice! Let me know what you've come up with!

[elliecore4eva]

Id love a reader x elille story were elille is out on patrol and finds reader injured and takes them in and reader gets more comfortable and left there guard down over time and comes to finally trust Ellie only for elille to overthink and start panicking thinking about caring about someone so hard maybe make it take place after or before Joel's death and maybe make it a series

oooh i love this! i had so much fun writing this piece i called the series “Through the Snow and Shadows” i was also thinking of turning it into a 4 or 5 part series! Thank you so much for requesting! Hope you like it, love!💕

Disclaimer: I used the pronouns, she/her, i wasn’t sure which one to use, please let me know if i would change it to another one!

Pairing : Ellie Williams x Fem! Reader

Genre: Angst/ fluff : slow- burn

Summary: Through the Snow and Shadows follows Ellie as she rescues an injured woman on patrol and brings her back to Jackson. As their bond grows, Ellie struggles with her fear of opening up after losing Joel. Through small moments of trust and vulnerability, they both begin to heal, but Ellie must confront her panic about caring for someone again. A slow-burn, emotional journey with a romantic ending.

Another Disclaimer: There are no specific descriptions of the reader. i did this so it can be enjoyed by a lot of people. Again if there are any elements that make people feel uncomfortable please do call me out, respectfully of course since it isn’t my intention to do so.

Part 1 - Found in the Snow

Ellie had never liked the cold. The bitter wind that cut through her jacket, the snow that coated the ground like a never-ending blanket of white—it all felt wrong. And yet, here she was, trudging through the dense forest outside of Jackson on another patrol, just like any other day. She didn’t expect it to be anything special. It wasn’t supposed to be.

But then she found you.

She had caught sight of your figure lying in the snow, half-buried, limp, and completely still. Ellie’s heart skipped, panic bubbling in her chest as she rushed forward, her breath coming in quick, panicked bursts. She knelt beside you, her hands trembling slightly as she reached out to check for a pulse.

You were alive. Barely. But alive.

The sight of your blood-drenched shirt and torn skin made Ellie’s stomach twist, but she had no time to dwell on it. She had to act. She knew the risks. She’d seen the infected, the bandits—hell, she’d lost people she loved. But you? You were human. And you needed help.

The trek back to Jackson felt like an eternity. Every step Ellie took, carrying you through the snow, felt heavier than the last. She was tired, cold, and scared, but she couldn’t let you go. Not like this. Not when you were still breathing, still fighting.

When she finally reached the gates of Jackson, Tommy and a couple of the medics helped get you inside. Ellie was too worn out to speak, her mind swirling with a million questions she didn’t have answers to. What had happened to you? How had you ended up out here all alone?

And why, despite everything, did Ellie feel this strange pull to stay by your side?

Days passed, and Ellie found herself visiting you in the infirmary every chance she got. It wasn’t like her to linger, to get involved with someone she didn’t know. She had learned long ago to keep her distance, to keep her guard up. But you were different. The way you looked at her, the silence between you, it made Ellie feel like there was something more, something she wasn’t sure she could ignore.

You didn’t say much at first. When Ellie would bring food or clean bandages, you’d barely acknowledge her presence. But Ellie couldn’t stop herself from coming back, even if it meant facing the awkwardness of the silence between you.

One afternoon, Ellie sat beside your bed, watching as you stared out the window, lost in your own thoughts.

“How’re you feeling?” Ellie asked, her voice tentative. She didn’t want to push you. She didn’t know if you wanted to talk. But she was here, and she wasn’t going anywhere.

You didn’t answer at first, your eyes distant, as though the question hadn’t registered. Ellie’s fingers twitched with the urge to reach out, to make some kind of connection. But she stopped herself. You hadn’t asked for that.

After a long pause, you glanced at her, your expression unreadable. “I don’t belong here,” you muttered, almost to yourself.

Ellie’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You’re too nice to me,” you replied, your voice barely audible. “I don’t deserve it.”

Ellie’s heart clenched at the raw vulnerability in your voice. She didn’t know what you had gone through to feel like this, but she could understand. She’d felt it too—like she wasn’t worthy of kindness, like she didn’t deserve any of it.

“Everyone deserves kindness,” Ellie said softly, her voice steady despite the way her stomach was twisting. She was trying to be strong for you, even though she didn’t feel strong herself.

The silence stretched between you, heavy and thick. Neither of you spoke again for a while, and Ellie found herself lost in her own thoughts. She wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to caring so much about someone she didn’t know. But there was something about you, something that made her want to stay.

[hunters-vigil]

Her Champion - Mavuika x Kinich's older sister!Reader - Part Four

First Part Previous Part

request: do you think maybe you can do another one which talks about how the reader is Kinich’s older sister and having an affair with Mavuika?

Warnings: Warnings: mentions of R's and Kinich's childhood (Kinich's lore), fighting, violence, suspicious looking positions, guns (Chasca's weapon), R thinks Mavuika is trying to proposition/make sexual advancements but Mavuika isn't, implied past abuse to R - Mavuika figures out something happened in the past.

Fic under the cut, don't repost my stuff on other platforms, i have ao3 which my fics are also available on.

Mavuika wanted to know more about you. She couldn't ask Kinich easily, he would ask why, and that would be too difficult to explain. Not to mention the possible cost of such personal information… No, her best bet was during the next spar against you, but she needed to consider it more. How long until you lost interest in sparring with her? Did you only agree to a second one because you felt like you had to?

You felt so mysterious to her, so many layers she wished to unravel, how her fingers ached to gently touch your cheek, how her eyes lingered on your scar- the questions in her mind. How did you get it? What happened to make you and Kinich the way you both are?

This wasn't relevant to her duty to Natlan at all…

Mavuika shook her head, clearing the thoughts from her mind as she went back to looking over the paperwork that had been recently submitted to the Speaker's Chamber.

The thoughts Mavuika was having, she should not be having them, not when she knew her duty and where her destiny led. Where her life would lead up to…

Sparring with you would count as training for you both. That's how she could answer anyone who questioned her.

///

Your brother had friends. That was evident each time someone came to check on him. There was the happy ocean girl, Mualani, the timid girl who loved the rock you gave her, Kachina, that saurian-vet guy who Ajaw called a quack, Ifa, and a adolescent qucusaurus he brought with him, Cacucu. You liked Ifa immediately after hearing Ajaw while, Mualani being a little too boisterous for your tastes, and Kachina… she gave you pause, would you be more like her if you had healthy childhood?

You were unaware that there was also another girl until she arrived from the sky, staring down at you until you spotted her. Flying on a giant gun of all things, which so happened to be pointing at you when you looked up. Chasca quirked an eyebrow as you were quick to aim your weapon at her, cryo energy swirling around your body.

"We seem to have got off on the wrong foot, I'm looking for Kinich." The girl announced, but that wasn't enough as the cryo energy continued to swirl.

"I'm Chasca, Flower-Feather Clan. We've fought together in the Night Warden Wars? Fine. I didn't come here to fight, but if it's a fight you want…" Chasca stated, as you stared at her, waiting, "are you going to introduce yourself, or do I tell Kinich I fought a stranger in his front garden?"

"You tell Kinich," you jumped up into the air, sending icicles after Chasca, "his sister kicked your ass!"

"Sister, huh?" Chasca flew out of the way easily, unbothered by your attack, but that fury coming from you, it reminded her of someone, "you'll have to reach me first-"

You reminded Chasca of herself, especially when she was younger.

"Must you fight above the pplot of embercore flowers?" Kinich deadpanned as he arrived, while Ajaw took a different approach.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Tear her eyes out!"

Chasca turned her head to acknowledge your brother, which was a mistake. She began to lower her flying gun closer to the ground as she saw him, low enough that with enough of a run-up, you tackled her off of it. The gun landed in the landing in the flowerbed embercores, while you two landed in the bed of sweet flowers, with you on top of her.

"Bite her thoat!" Ajaw screeched, but you only stared down at Chasca with a cold glare, her hands stuck as you clamped yours down on her wrists, your weight pressing down on her thighs to try keep her still. Kinich was quick to put Ajaw into a timeout after that, whacking him flying before he approached slowly.

"You know the longer you keep her there, the more you'll have to make it up to her." Kinich stated, unbothered at you straddling Chasca, while she raised an eyebrow, watching how you seemed to think it over, let out a grumbly sigh, then quickly scrambled off of her.

"You going to explain what just happened?" Chasca turned to your brother, who watched as you disappeared further into the mountains.

"You're lucky you didn't try flip her, or you would be a popsicle right now. My sister doesn't take kindly to things being pointed in her face…" Kinich let out an uncharacteristically tired sigh, "thank you for not attacking her."

"Well, I'd say she started it, but- I didn't know you had a sister." Chasca changed her train of thought, her eyes trained on Kinich as he stared at her.

"It never came up. Most people have met her by turning up here looking for me. That includes Mualani and Kachina." Kinich stated, folding his arms, "what was it you came here for, Chasca?"

///

Meanwhile, you could feel the heat of embarrassment flooding your body, your feet carrying you away, eventually up a tree with enough cover for you to hide in peace. Something about the gun pointing at you from above, sent you into fight or flight mode… how in the abyss were you supposed to make it right with her? What was her name again? Chasca, Chasca… oh.

The Night Warden Wars…

"Xilonen? Are you up there?" The Archon's voice snapped you out of your haze, carefully peeking over to spot the sunglasses-clad fiery woman looking up at you, her face melting into some expression you didn't understand as you met her eyes.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today." Mavuika beamed, not even bothering to take off her sunglasses as she began to climb the tree, eventually face to face with you, "are you alright? You look… frazzled."

"Frazzled?" your eyebrows crinkled together in a way that Mavuika, if she was a wide eyed giddy teenager again, would call cute… Luckily Mavuika's sunglasses hid that expression, schooling her face before putting her sunglasses away properly.

"Anyway, I was looking for Xilonen, I wanted to talk to her about a new upgrade for Flamestrider, my motorbike, can you see it down there?" Mavuika smiled as your eyes eventually followed where she was pointing, spotting the strange machine on the ground nearby.

"I'm not the weapon forger." You deadpanned, not understanding why Mavuika was smiling so much.

"I know you're not, but that doesn't mean I can't spend time with you… we need to schedule our next spar, and maybe some other activities-"

"Other activities? I'm not- am I allowed to refuse? I know you are the Archon…" Your voice trembled, eyes widening as Mavuika looked momentarily confused, before realising what you thought she was trying to ask for.

"Uh, not that, wow, uh, let me take you to dinner first at least." Mavuika's eyes widened, spotting how your arms wrapped around your torso almost to hide your body from her, even though your clothes were there…

"I'm not good company." You brushed her off, directing your attention to the soil that was on your clothes, reminding you of what you did.

"What happened?" Mavuika's eyes trailed down your legs, holding back from reaching out to touch you as you shifted uncomfortably.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because I care-" Mavuika began, but your eyes were cold as you met her warm ones.

"We sparred together once." You deadpanned, reminding her momentarily of Kinich, but your voice held a bit more… confusion in it. Did you really not see the interest you held?

"And I'd like to do it again. I happen to think you're rather interesting." Mavuika smiled, about to nudge you with her elbow, but you stared at her arm confusedly, moving away from it almost unconsciously.

"The appeal will wear off quickly, then you'll go back to your duties and… tracking down Xilonen." You waved her off, but it was only making Mavuika more determined.

"I happen to be quite stubborn, just ask Xilonen. I know she crafted your weapon for you too." Mavuika smiled, before it slowly disappeared into a frown, "do I make you uncomfortable?"

"You confuse me," you let out a sigh, avoiding Mavuika's gaze as you tried to figure out the words, "Chasca visited home, looking for Kinich. She flew in on that giant gun, looming over me. I… I'm not good company. I should go."

Mavuika caught your shoulder before you could climb out of the tree, but the panicked look on your face had her let go quickly.

"Who hurt you?" the fire in her burned brightly as you looked back at her for a moment, your gaze icy as you gave no emotion back to her as you left with only parting words.

"Who didn't?"

[sturniololuvrer]

𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔…𝙱𝚎 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎 — 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘 18+ 𝙼𝙳𝙽𝙸 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 (2/?)

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: shy!, virgin! Matt x fem! reader

𝙿𝚕𝚘𝚝: you and the triplets are practically best friends, you met them in LA, where you live. You and Matt unknowingly have feelings for each other, so when they go back to Boston for a whole month, you both realize how strong your feelings really are…

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: fluff, slight angst?, sounds of masturbation.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 1,379

𝚊/𝚗: This is the second part to this story! Part 1 can be found here! There should only be one more part to this depending on how I feel. I used the chapter as a bridge to work on my plot writing so bear with me! I’m sorry this took so long, these past few weeks have been crazy-half my house got redone, it was my birthday last week (saw ZAYN 😭), my semester started, and I have strep throat lmfao but part 3 should be out sooner! Thanks for the patience! xx

You’re still seated at the bar with your friend about 15 minutes later after your conversation with Matt as your phone vibrates once more in your purse. You pull it out, furrowing your eyebrows as you see that Matt sent you a voice message.

You excuse yourself and go into the bathroom where the music is less loud. You find an empty stall and sit on the toilet seat, placing an AirPod in your ear to listen to the message, assuming it’s gonna be him telling you about the Boston trip.

You were oh, so very wrong, almost dropping your phone into the toilet as Matt’s moans fill your ears. “What the fuck?!” You gasp out into the bathroom, utterly shocked and confused, but not making any moves to stop the audio from playing.

Your cheeks flush as you listen to his whines and groans and you feel like you might pass away as you hear him whimper your name. You gasp again, placing a hand over your mouth as you hear the obvious sound of him cumming, a string of curses following.

After you stare at the message for a few minutes, you start to think. Did he mean to send this?? Did he somehow figure out you liked him and sent it? Was it an accident? Your mind reels, sheer confusion and slight panic forming a pit in your stomach as he sends no message explaining his previous one.

Matt has been pacing his room for the past 30 minutes. He’s absolutely mortified and disgusted that he’d send you that video, but more so that you haven’t acknowledged that you heard what he’d sent, leaving him on read.

He’s way too humiliated to explain himself because it’s obvious, to him at least that he’d just admitted he has feelings for you. He feels like he may die from embarrassment at this point, practically on the verge of tears. After another hour passes and you haven’t replied to him, he decides to just go to bed.

A few days go by and neither of you have the courage to text the other. You still talk to Nick and Chris everyday but you don’t dare say a word about what had happened. Matt is getting antsy, wanting nothing more than to call you and explain himself, but the thought of you rejecting him, or worse, not wanting to be his friend anymore is too much for him. He decides to just wait out the last two weeks of their trip and talk to you when they get back.

As the fifth day of not speaking to each other rolls by, he can’t take it anymore. The longest you’ve gone without talking to each other since you’ve met has been like 12 hours and his overwhelming feelings for you are not helping.

In a dazed and desperate moment at 4 a.m., he buys a plane ticket back to LA for the next afternoon without telling you or his family why. When the time for his flight arrives, he packs his stuff back up and gives half-assed responses to his family’s questions and concerns. He tells them he’ll explain it to them soon and rushes out the door, practically diving into the Uber.

You’re sitting at home at around 10 p.m., reading a book in your bed. This is the first time you’re enjoying yourself since the debacle with Matt and it’s raining in LA, which is a rare and very welcome sight, to you at least. You’re humming softly as you read and listen to the downpour of the rain on your roof.

At one point, you hear a knock on your apartment door. You get confused as it’s too late for a package and it’s pouring rain. You hesitantly get out of bed, placing your book down on your nightstand and moving to the door.

You stand by it for a moment, waiting to see if there’s another knock as you’re slightly worried for your safety. After a few seconds, there’s a louder knock, making you jump slightly. You take a deep breath and slowly unlock the door and open it.

You yelp as you see a drenched Matt standing on your doorstep, looking at him in pure shock for a moment before tugging him inside the warmth of your house. “W- what the fuck are you doing here?! Don’t you have two more weeks in Boston??”

“I-I had to come back…needed to be here…” he pants out, his cheeks flushed red. You quickly grab him a towel, wrapping it around him. “What?? Why?” You ask, still shocked. He holds the towel around him gratefully, huffing softly. “The voice message I sent you…” he starts.

You blush softly as memories of his moans flood your mind, but you quickly shake them, mustering up a small, “oh…” He gulps, continuing his sentence, his cheeks getting darker and darker as he speaks, “I-I’m so fucking sorry…that was an accident and I didn’t mean to send it. I know it made you uncomfortable because you didn’t answer- obviously it made you uncomfortable I- I’m just so sorry I-“ He starts rambling.

You quickly stop him by placing a hand on top of his and leading him to sit down on your couch. “Hey, relax…” You think for a moment, finding the right words. “It didn’t make me uncomfortable, Matt…it just really confused me…”

He groans softly “I’m so sorry it was an accident…I dropped my phone on my chest and it- did that…” You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Wait hold on…how did that even happen? How did it move from a different app to our messages on its own and start the voice message?”

He somehow blushes even deeper, looking away. “I-I was already in our messages when I-um started…” You get even more confused until you remember the picture you’d sent him, your cheeks tinting pink. “O-oh…you were- to the picture I sent?” You ask, just being sure you’re on the same page.

“Y-yes…” he practically whimpers out in mortification. “I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to make things weird…we can just ignore this…pretend I don’t feel the way I do…” he begs, not wanting to lose what he has with you. You sigh softly, feeling guilty because the fact that you didn’t call him or say anything about the voice message was obviously making him feel crazy and ended up making him cut his family visit short.

“Shit…no we’re not gonna ignore this...” He’s somehow convinced himself you’re gonna tell him you never want to see him again. “W-what??” You decide to just blurt it out, not wanting to keep the secret any longer, especially since you’re sure he feels the same now, finishing your sentence. “…Because…I-i feel the same way…”

His eyes go wide and his mouth drops open in shock. For what feels like hours, but was only like a minute, you just look at each other, the only sound in the room being him dripping water onto your couch. You don’t say a word, desperate for him to just say something.

“A-are you serious…?” Is all he can get out in his state. You just nod softly, feeling like you’d rather go into a hole and never come out than speak right now. There’s another moment of silence before he speaks again. “How long?” Is all he says. Your cheeks turn red as you realize what he’s asking, speaking softly. “How long have I had feelings for you?” He nods.

You swallow, taking a deep breath for a moment before telling him. “Since the day we met I think…” He somehow gets even more shocked, unable to believe you’ve liked him just as long as he’d liked you. “Holy shit…me too…” It’s your turn to be shocked now, your eyes going wide. “W-what??” Is all you can muster. He decides to fuck it, spilling the secret he’s been holding for almost two years.

“Fuck, I’m in love with you…I have been for so long.” He practically whispers, his heart racing and his cheeks bright red. You do the only thing can think of in the moment, quickly moving closer on the couch, not caring how soaked he is, and pressing a kiss to his lips.

𝚊/𝚗: ugh I hate this I swear the next part will be better…I am SO sorry for the people that waited so long for this just for there to be nothing juicy, but I promise it’s coming! Thanks for the support and any feedback is appreciated or comments about anything at all are welcome! xx

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @mattscumslutt @courta13

[ces-nenuphars]

A Fear Even Greater: BSD Ch. 121 vs. BEAST Ch. 4

I was reading the new chapter today and I couldn't help but notice some similarities to BEAST that I wanted to share. I'm sure I'm not the first person to notice this nor do I usually do this kind of analysis post but I thought it was interesting and I'd like to share so please bear with me!

BSD CH. 121 SPOILER WARNING

I've highlighted the segments from each work that I think are thematically relevant to each other in the same colours because my brain works that way, but if yours doesn't don't worry - I will explain:

In YELLOW we have Atsushi's instinct to flee in the face of the enemy. I touch on this a bit more later on but BEAST!Atsushi is further along this thought process than canon!Atsushi. B!Atsushi seems mostly afraid of pain and violence while canon!Atsushi is more despondent. He's lost hope and had his spirit broken from watching his surrogate family die in front of him (understandably, poor baby)

In GREEN we have Dazai acknowledging/calling out Atsushi's cowardice. BEAST!Dazai is mostly describing how Atsushi used to be while canon!Dazai is snapping Atsushi out of his current doom-spiral.

He does this in most of his other hallucination appearances, not dissimilar to his interaction with Atsushi in Ch. 25.

In PURPLE we have the core of this whole rambling post (*´▽`*) There really isn't any contrast in these two, both B!Dazai and canon!Dazai are saying the same thing here.

Which brings us to CYAN where we see how the purple bits deviate slightly with context. It's a minor difference but B!Dazai lists the things that Atsushi used to fear (pain, violence, etc.) but canon!Dazai lists the qualities that Atsushi feels he's lacking (courage and hope). B!Atsushi is already able to use this "technique" (for lack of a better term) in combat, likely because he was exposed to terrifying situations earlier and more frequently than canon!Atsushi and has had more time to adapt to them (again, poor baby [╥﹏╥])

Now in RED we skip ahead a bit in the BEAST chapter to Dazai giving Atsushi his next directive. B!Dazai uses Atsushi to enact his plan and (eventually) bring Atsushi and Akutagawa together while canon!Dazai urges Atsushi to compartmentalize and focus on saving the people that he's still able to save.

Canon!Dazai's request is reminiscent of Oda's final words to him which - knowing Asagiri - could very well be intentional even if this is obviously not the "real Dazai" but rather the manifestation of some part of Atsushi's inner thoughts or Byakko (personally my money's on the tiger theory but we'll see). The Oda/Dazai/Atsushi/Akutagawa parallels will never stop and I'm here for it tbh.

[Dark Era excerpt from this translation from @nkhrchy]

Which brings us to MAGENTA (Could I have done these in chromatic order? Yes. Did I only realize that after typing it all out? Absolutely.) In both cases at this point Atsushi comes to a realization and I think the difference in what that realization is really drives home how well BEAST uses alternate universe to emphasize characterization in canon. Some of this is based on my assumptions about the final page of Ch. 121 and is therefore at risk of being jossed next month BUT I think that what canon!Atsushi is realizing in the final panel ("who you really are") is that this Dazai apparition comes from The Tiger. If it isn't Byakko explicitly I think it's fair to say that it's coming from somewhere within Atsushi himself. So, that being said, let me explain a little bit: B!Atsushi's only recourse is to take refuge in Dazai's plans/orders. His "greater fear" stems from an instance when he deviated from those orders and as a result he feels safest behind the bulwark of going along with Dazai's will. Not the healthiest coping mechanism, but it makes sense considering what B!Atsushi has experienced up to that point. Canon!Atsushi, however, is (I assume) realizing that the safety and reassurance - however harsh it may seem - of the Dazai in his head has actually been coming from himself the entire time. I think it's safe to say that whether it's his subconscious or Byakko, this apparition takes the shape of Dazai because that's who Atsushi trusts during times of crisis; that's the voice he's desperately wishing he could hear. Ultimately canon!Atsushi is in a much better place (despite... everything lol) because he's able to recognize his own internal strength instead of clinging to the safety he sees in Dazai. B!Atsushi does eventually start this process after Dazai fires him and Kyouka (and then steps off the roof of HQ RIP) but he has to take the time first to heal from the anxiety his violent upbringing inflicted on him (quite understandably - let's all say it together: poor babey T_T) There's more I could say about canon!Akutagawa undergoing a similar process re:Dazai but this post is too long! So I won't ♡

OKAY! My brain has never been satisfied with using one word when I could use ten so if you made it to the end thank you and I'm sorry ♡ I am not a writer and doing this reminded me why!! So I will definitely stick to drawing pictures (I'm almost finished one I swear! I'm like a plant, I wither into nothing in the winter months)

[runningincircl3s]

Nothing Ever After

Chapter 26/ Ricky's Vlog Footage

chapter warnings: none? also teasers for the ending at the end of the chapter tehe :)

When I came up with the idea for this chapter I thought it would be a fun filler chapter leading up to the final part! I could keep adding to this chapter but since I didn't post last week enough is enough so here it is! Happy monday!! :)

 ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“It’s 3am… In the am,” Ricky yawned, squinting at the light as he turned on his bedside lamp, “And we leave today for the tour, in about 7 hours.”

He picks his phone up, showing the time, and a message from Vin. 

“I texted Vin just now to make sure he was up and ready, I’ve got to pick him and Ryan up before leaving for the airport.” He yawned again, switching the lights on as he walked through his house, “But before I do anything…” He reached into the cupboard and showed the camera his coffee mug, one he had received from a fan which had a picture of him and Vin on it. “Coffee.”

[Cut to the car on the way to the airport]

“How do I know if it’s on?” Vinny asked, screwing his face up at the camera, which was too close to his face, showing a close up of his mouth.

“It’s already on.” Ryan laughed, and Vinny’s eyes widened. 

“Oh it is?” He chuckled, “Hey guys- Hey youtube! What is up! I’m Ricky Olson and-”

“This won’t make it into the vlog,” Rick laughed from the driver's seat, “None of this will.”

“But this is entertaining! Give the people what they want!” Vin smiled, “Rick just drove through a red light-”

“There’s nobody about! It’s 4am! I-”

[Cut to the airport]

Vinny stood staring straight into the camera, the sound of screaming crying children in the background. You could tell by his eyes that he was trying to hold it together.

“I have an announcement,” he said after a long sigh, “So… I’m actually quitting the band.”

The sound of crying children got louder as Vinny shook his head, he looked like he was either about to start laughing or crying, perhaps even both?

“I’m done!” 

[Cut to the tour bus]

“So,” Rick says as he places the camera on the table, on a makeshift tripod, made from books and an upside down cup , “We’ve landed, we got to our hotel and then Chris said the guys from Bad Omens forgot to change the dates they needed their bus for, so we’re off to pick them up!” 

The camera turns to Justin, who slowly turns to look at Ricky. 

“What do you want?” He groaned. 

“Do you have anything to say?”

“Yeah. Fuck you.”

[It cuts to shots of the guys, and Bad Omens as they get on the bus. Folio and Ruffilo both gave the camera a wave, but the others didn’t seem to acknowledge it, with some music playing over the top.]

[Cut to Vinny on the bus]

Vinny was talking to the camera, but seemed a little distracted. Unbeknownst to everyone else, his eyes were on you as you stepped on to the bus. 

“Guys I have solved our photographer dilemma!” Chris proudly announced as he stepped back onto the bus, “Y/n’s filling in for the first three days!”

“Hi!” You said with a smile, but Vinny quickly grabbed the camera from Rick, turning it back to him.

“Do you have her consent to record her?” He asked, a mock-serious expression on his face, “Didn’t think so… You creep!” He couldn’t help the small smirk tugging on the corner of his lips. 

“...Aren’t you, Vin.” Justin shouted out, but Vinny didn't quite catch the beginning of his sentence. 

“What did he say?” He asked Rick, who shrugged in reply.

Vinny put his middle finger up to Justin, holding back a laugh. 

[Cut to the hotel room]

“So,” Ricky says, turning the camera around, “Here’s our- I mean my room for the first couple nights, we’ve got our own rooms this time around so that’s sick.”

Rick gives a room tour, showing the bathroom, the bed, the window and the tv which didn’t seem to work. 

“It’s gonna be weird going to sleep with nobody else snoring or coughing in the room.” He smiled, "It won't be this way on the bus!"

[Cut to the next day]

Ryan, Rick and Vinny are walking down the street. 

“So, update,” Ricky began, “Technically tomorrow is the first day of tour, since we’ve got the day off today. So we’ve decided to go and explore the city, get some lunch, maybe visit the museum here... Ryan, do you have anything to say?”

“Yeah, Rick’s boring, there’s a party tonight and he’s not coming.” Ryan laughed. 

“C’mon,” Vin groaned, “Even I’m gonna be there!” 

“I’ve got shit to do.” Ricky chuckled.

“Like what?”

“...Editing the vlog?”

[Cut to the next morning]

“Today’s the day.” Rick says as he stirs his coffee, “It’s the first day of tour, we’ve also got an interview to go to this morning. I need to go and check on Vin after last night, Ryan said he left early but Vin stayed behind… So he might be feeling a little rough this morning.” He chuckled. 

[Cut to Rick walking down the hall]

“Okay, Vin hasn’t seen my texts so I’m assuming he’s still asleep!” Rick says before he knocks on Vin’s door. 

“Vin! Wake up everyone’s waiting for you!” He continues knocking. 

Rick sighs and shakes his head, there was no answer.

“This is why I told you it was a bad idea to go out la-” Vin opened the door, revealing himself half dressed and you still lying in his bed, wearing his shirt. “Finally, I- What’s y/n doing in your room? What the hell Vin! This better not be what it looks like-” 

“No! She stayed here because-”

[Cut to backstage before the show]

“Wanna tell us what you’re up to?” Rick asks Folio, who was smirking as he collected two paper cups. 

“I’m doing an experiment. Noah and Vin both claim they can tell the difference between coke and pepsi,” he looks around for the two cans he had bought, “So in one cup… There’s pepsi, and in the other, there's gonna be coke.”

“How are you going to tell the difference?” Matt asked, “How would you know if they’re right or not if you forget which cups which?”

Folio thought for a moment before calling out to Angela. 

“Can I borrow something to mark a cup?” 

“Sure,” she chuckled, handing him an eyeliner pen, “Just be careful with it, it's expensive.” 

“Thanks!” 

Folio roughly marked the underneath of one of the cups, and smiled at the camera, putting a thumb up.

[Cut to the couches] 

“So,” Folio laughed handing Noah the cups, “One of these has pepsi and the other one has coke-“

“You want me to say which ones in which?” Noah raised an eyebrow, “Easy, I’ve been training for this my whole life!”

“You need to smell them first!” Vinny shouted over, and Noah nodded, smelling each drink. 

“This one smells like pepsi for sure,” he said, “Is it?” 

“Try them!” Matt encouraged. 

Noah hesitated for a second before trying a sip of each. 

“Oh no, that one’s coke… This one’s pepsi.” 

Folio took the cups back, checking the bottom. 

“He’s right!” *insert sound effects*

[Cut to Vinny] 

“I can tell just by smelling them,” he bragged, “And my nose tells me that…” 

He brings both cups up to smell, pulling an unsure face, he has his answer. 

“This one’s pepsi. And I know I’m fucking right!”

“Try them.” Folio chuckled, and Vin nodded, taking a sip of each. 

“Pepsi.” He held one of the cups out, “Just like my nose told me.”

Folio takes the cup and checks the bottom. 

“Wrong! That’s coke!” *Insert sound effect* 

[Cut to Chris] 

“So… I have to guess which one’s pepsi?” He asks, a smile on his face as he takes both cups from Matt. 

“That’s right, so far Noah’s got it right and Vin got it wrong.”

Chris smelled both cups before trying each, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“That’s hard,” he chuckled, “How do you know which is in which?”

“I’ve marked the bottom,” Folio said, “But don’t look!”

“I won’t!” Chris laughed before trying each, “I’ll say… This one’s pepsi?”

Folio bent down to check the bottom of the cup Chris held out. 

“It is!” *insert sound effect* 

[Cut to you] 

“This is stupid,” you laugh as Folio hands you the cups, “And the others have all drank out of these?” 

“Hey, that's nothing, Ryan drank Ricky’s piss before.” Vin laughed, and your face screwed up in horror as you looked up at Ricky with fear in your eyes. 

"He did what?!"

“I told you that was an accident!" Ryan shouted from across the room.

"Fuck this isn’t staying in the video,” Rick laughed, “Ryan bought apple juice and left it in the van, back when we toured in a van, it just so happened I peed in a bottle and it was the same colour-“

“Okay!” You shook your head, “I’ve heard enough, what do you want me to do, Nick?”

“Tell me which one’s pepsi and which one's coke!”

You tried each drink, thinking for a moment before trying another sip of each. 

“This one is definitely coke,” you held one cup out, “so this one’s pepsi.” 

Folio took the cups back and checked for the mark. 

“You’re right!” *Insert sound effects*

“What the fuck,” Vin groaned, “Let me try them again.”

[Cut to after the show]

“We just got done playing,” Ricky said to the camera, “And clearly it’s been a long couple of days for somebody on their first tour.” 

As he pans the camera around, he shows you fast asleep with your head on resting Vin’s shoulder. 

“I think somebody’s got a crush!” Justin whispers to the camera.

“Okay I can't keep that in!”  Rick laughs.

[Cut to Vinny randomly dancing to Maroon 5]

[Cut to Justin doing his makeup]

"So, for everyone who's been asking, I'm going to give you all the long awaited stage makeup tutorial... So what you want to do first is-"

[Cut to backstage, after a show]

“Update!” Vinny grinned, “We literally just got off stage, I went nuts out there, we all went nuts out there... I think I need a shower… Hey y/n, do you think I need a shower?” He was suddenly invading your personal space, his arms wrapping around you in a scarily sweaty hug, and what was left of his body paint was rubbing off on you. 

“Vincenzo I swear if you don’t let go of me right now!” You threatened, pushing him away. 

“Y/n, give me an update!” Rick smiled from behind the camera. 

“Update- Is this my first real update?” You ask as Vin begins to make an escape, “Vin stinks, and I’m gonna beat his ass for covering me in sweaty paint!” 

“You would never!” He shouts from the hallway, and you raise your eyebrows before chasing after him.

“They’re so into each other... It makes me sick.” Ryan laughed, as Ricky panned the camera to him.

[Cut to the tour bus, the next morning]

“Chris, give me an update!” 

Chris groans, before smiling for the camera.

“Update, it’s the… Fifth show of the tour tonight, and I think I’m getting sick. I should be saving my voice, Rick, but look what you’re making me do!” He said in a mock-serious tone. 

[Cut to Rick backstage, in full makeup and stage fit]

"Update... I keep forgetting to make actual updates so uh... We're about to play at the biggest festival of our career, loads of people are out there waiting for us, we're on in about 15 minutes..." The camera turns to Vinny, "How do you feel?"

"Rick..." He presses his lips together, looking away for a moment, "I think I'm going to shit myself."

[Cut to Vinny after playing at the festival]

“Update,” Vinny pointed at the camera, clearly on an adrenaline rush after playing, “We just got done playing to like… three hundred million people, it was fucking awesome!” He claps, thinking of something else to say, “Y/n took some hot pictures of me, Rick fell off the stage-”

“I didn’t fall off the stage,” Ricky interrupted, turning the camera to his face, “I misjudged where the platform was-”

“Rick fell off the stage.” Vinny repeated, “And now we’re about to go play some Mario kart.”

“Y/n do you have anything to add?” Rick pointed the camera at you. 

“Motionless in White rock,” you said proudly, “It was great to…” You trailed off as your phone vibrated, forgetting all about the camera pointed at you, “...Fuck, I think I’m getting a headache, I think I need to lay down, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You say, quickly turning around and walking off. 

Ricky and Vinny look at each other as you walk away. 

“That was weird.” Rick points out, putting the camera down.

[Cut to you and Vin in the dark, in the hallway of a hotel]

“Welcome back,” Vinny says in a weird voice, “To the third installment of this place is haunted.. Haunted….. Haunted……”

“We’ve been staying at this hotel for two nights, and we’ve been noticing… some strange things!” You say. 

“So, as an expert in all things paranormal, I am here to investigate!” 

“The first mystery… A banging sound coming from Folio’s room in the middle of the night…” You try to hold back your laugh as you approach his door, “I’ve been staying in the room next to him, and I think he may be being visited in the night by spirits-”

“I fear it may be the very same vengeful incubus that was following me around last tour… Y/n has the spare key to his room, so let’s go and check on him!” 

You slowly push the hotel door open, and wave for Vin and Rick to follow you in. 

“It appears Nick is asleep… And there is no sign of any spirits, or incubuses.. But there is a- Oh shit we better get out there’s a girl in his bed!” 

All three of you rushed out of the room trying your best not to laugh before shutting the door back up.

[Cut to Vinny getting his makeup done]

“The concept of a dad dick isn’t hard to understand…” Vin laughed, “When you become a dad you get a dad dick!” 

“So Justin has a dad dick?” Folio chuckles. 

“Yeah! He’s the only one of us with a dad dick… I think.” Vinny’s eyes widen, full of fear as he stares into the camera, “I don’t think I have any kids?”

[Cut to Vinny asleep on the couch in the green room, whilst you stand behind him, braiding his hair]

The camera slowly zooms in on you as you try holding back your laughter as Vin snores.

"When he wakes up we're telling him he's been visited by the braid fairy," you whispered, before looking back down and running your fingers through his hair, "He's got softer hair than me? I'm stealing his conditioner."

[Cut to Rick on the bus]

"I can't believe what I've just seen... I've caught y/n in the act... With evidence..."

As the camera turns around, it shows you stuffing as many snacks as you can into your bag before getting on to the bus.

"Every time we ask her if she's got any snacks she says no!" Vinny laughed, also watching you from the bus window. "When she gets on I'm gonna ask if she has any and see what she says." he plotted, and the Rick nodded.

"Hey guys." You smile, walking onto the bus, "What time do we start sound check?"

"Uh, in a couple hours." Rick said from behind the camera.

"Y/n did you get any snacks in the store?"

"Yes, but you still owe me for the packs of starburst you stole from me!"

[Cut to Justin and you]

“Justin, give me an update!” 

“Update!” Justin sighed, “I’m introducing y/n to Twit!” 

“And for the people who don’t know… Who is Twit?”

“He’s in the video you posted! If you don’t know you better get to know!” 

The camera zooms in on Justin’s phone, where Vinny is being Twit.

“What’s up man! I’m Twit and I’m gonna eat some God- I mean gosh darn cookies!”

“Vin, how old were you here?!” You laugh. 

“25.” Vinny groans, “Please stop! Turn it off!” 

[Cut to Chris playing a guitar during souncheck]

"I didn't know he played?" Your eyebrows raised as you listened to Chris play a song that sounded a lot like Another Life

"Chris has always played," Rick chuckled from behind the camera, "I guess you learn something new everyday."

[Cut to you]

"Y/n, give me an update."

"Update... I'm sat here in the green room editing some pictures I took from the shows last week. The guys have gone out to get lunch, I've asked Noah to get me a bagel so we'll see how well he knows me because I haven't told him which one I want..."

"Does he know your usual order?"

"He should!" You chuckle, "I've been getting the same thing for three months."

[Cut to Rick backstage before a show]

"So, update..." He set the camera up, stepping back slightly, almost ending up in Justin's lap, "One of our shows got cancelled because it was an outdoors venue and the weathers been pretty shit so we're unable to play, so Vin suggested going live on twitch and hanging out there for a bit with all the guys. I know it won't make up for a cancelled show but it's something."

"They can't see you, Vin." Justin laughed, and Rick looked over at Vinny.

"Give the people what they want!" Vin called out.

"Vin's got his thumbs up," he chuckled, turning the camera around, "There he is..."

"What's up youtube!"

[Cut to you smiling at your phone]

"What are you smiling at...?" Rick teased, zooming in on you.

"I'm looking at pictures of my bed, I can't wait to be home." You hold your phone out to Rick, showing him.

[Cut to Ricky in the bus]

"Update! It's the final month of tour and I don't feel like I've given any real updates on here. We've had the best time this tour, it's been great seeing familiar faces and some new ones too... Uh... Yeah. Do you have anything to add?"

Rick turned the camera, pointing at Vinny who was sat facing you on the couch as you carefully re-dyed his red streaks.

"I don't feel like I've slept in 4 years."

"Vin stop moving!" You groaned, trying to section his hair to clip back.

"Shit, sorry."

[Cut to Ryan backstage]

"I'm not doing this shit," he laughed, until Ricky snatched his phone from his hand, "Fine." Ryan sighed, sitting up straight, "Update, we've got a few more shows to play and then I can get back home to my dog... Vin's been unusually quiet the last couple days, it's been pretty nice."

You walk into the room, setting your bags down on the table. As if on cue, Vin gets up and leaves without saying a word to anybody.

Ryan gives the camera look to say what was that about?

[Cut to Vinny and Noah talking in the green room]

"I just don't understand how you guys can all do the metal screamy thing but I can't?" Vinny laughed.

Noah tried explaining it to Vinny, who tried to copy and do as he was taught, but still failed.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Angela laughs, walking in with you by her side, "I thought Vin was getting tortured."

"No but we are." Justin sighed.

"Noah's trying to teach Vin to scream, it's pretty funny."

"...No, not like that- Y'know what, ask Justin or Chris, I haven't got the patience for this." Noah shook his head, chuckling slightly as he reached for his water.

Vin still attempted, and still failed.

"Can I please say what we're all thinking?" You ask as you sit beside Noah, resting your legs over his lap.

"Go for it!" Ryan laughed.

"Vin, you have the voice of an angel, honey, but just this once... Shut the fuck up, please." You chuckled.

"Yeah, man, stick to rapping. Trap Demon's overdue a comeback." Rick said from behind the camera.

"Trap Demon?" You raised an eyebrow.

[Cut to Rick trying to set his camera up on a tripod on the beach]

"Uh... Is it straight? Y'know what I don't care actually... We've made it to LA, we've got a couple days off so we decided to spend the day at the beach. Vin and Noah have buried Jolly and Ryan and in the sand and seem to be building sand castles on top of them? Folio's swimming out there with Justin, Chris is just chilling here in the shade like the vampire he is-"

"Coming from you?" Chris chuckled from beside Rick.

"Hey, I don't want to burn! You remember how red me and Vin were after we played that show in Malta, we were only in the sun for less than an hour!"

[Cut to Vinny, who had sunglasses tan lines on his face]

"This is pretty high coverage," Angela explains, showing him the foundation she was going to use, "If I do some colour correcting underneath you wont even notice it!"

"Please just do something. Anything!" Vinny whined. "I've never been sun burned this bad before."

"I told you to wear spf, not my fault you didn't listen." Noah shrugged.

[Cut to Vinny, Rick and Ryan backstage somewhere, Folio is in the back talking with Bryan]

“So,” Rick says, placing the camera down on the table, “It was y/n’s birthday yesterday, and she had other plans so we couldn’t all spend it together. However, our one and only, our dear Vincenzo Mauro booked a venue so we could throw her a surprise party for when she gets back tonight!”

“I’m currently making the playlist,” Vin explains as Ricky turns the camera to him, “Banger after banger, baby! I’ve got some songs I found from her playlists and some DJ shidnfard classics. It’s gonna be a sick night, guys.”

“The good thing about being a band on tour is that you have equipment,” Ryan said, also doing something on his laptop, “We’ve got all our stage lights and shit but nobody here who knows how they work, except Matt but he woke up in a bad mood today so everyone's too afraid to ask him for help, so I’m watching a youtube tutorial on how to set them up.”

“Ryan Sitkowski, our guitarist and soon to be our lights guy,” Rick chuckled, turning the camera back to him, “Angela and Justin are over here, what are you guys up to?”

“Blowing up balloons.” Justin sighed, “I’m gonna be doing this for my kid’s birthday for the next 12 years so why not get some practice?”

“That’s the spirit,” Chris chuckled, walking in with lunch, “How many have you done already?”

“Three.” Justin confessed, “I just don’t know how to tie them!” 

“It’s easy,” Angela chimed in, “Even with these nails I’ve still done more than you.” 

[Cut to Ricky whispering in the dark]

“Okay… She should be here any minute now, Noah’s gone to pick her up…” Rick paused suddenly, thinking he could hear something. “Y/n, if you’re watching this, I’m so glad we met on this tour. I know we didn’t get on too well in the beginning but… You grew on me. I hope our paths cross again after this, and maybe we get the chance to tour together again. Happy birthday!” 

“Fuck, Y/n just texted saying they’re still half an hour away. They stopped at the gas station because Noah needed to pee.” Bryan announces, and everybody groans. 

“Great! I’ve just had an idea!” Rick beamed as the lights were switched back on. 

[Cut to Justin]

“So what was this plan?” Justin asked, he was stood against a blank wall as Rick pointed the camera at his face.

“We’re all going to give y/n a birthday message, whether I actually keep this part in the vlog or not will depend on what people say but I thought it was a good idea!”

“Oh that’s cute,” Justin smiled, “So do I just-”

“Yes, the camera’s rolling.” 

“Oh, okay!” Justin grinned, “Y/n… It’s been great having you with us on this tour, it’s been a pleasure to get to know you, we all think you’re awesome… Vin especially,” he winked, “But seriously, I hope you have a great day, eat cake, party, dance, have fun! You deserve it!” 

[Cut to Angela]

“Happy birthday, my love! I never expected to make a new best friend on tour, but here we are, I love you so much girl!”

[Cut to Chris]

“Happy birthday, Y/n! You've pretty much became a member of the band over these months. You’ve been killing it out here, I don’t think I could thank you enough for making all of us look so photogenic and filling in for our usual guy. We love you!”

[Cut to Vinny]

“Y/n!” He clapped his hands together, “Uh… What can I say about you… You’re pretty cool, not as cool as me but y’know, haha, who is?” He smirked, “No, I’m kidding!” 

“Restart!” Rick called out. "Take 2!"

“Y/n, I think I’m speaking for all of us when I say you brighten our days, your smile lights the room-”

“Hey, it’s a birthday message not a love confession.”

“Shut up!” Vinny groaned, before getting into the zone again, “Y/n, happy birthday! I wanted to say something heartfelt but Rick didn’t like it so I’ll just say you’re awesome! I’m so happy that I’ve gotten to know you, and I hope when tour ends we’ll still be friends, y’know, unless you’ve been simply just tolerating me the last few months cos you had no other choice! Okay how was that?”

[Cut to Ryan]

“Happy birthday, Y/n! I don’t know how you’ve put up with all of us… I can't even stand these guys and we've been doing this for years. Thank you for everything you do for us, it doesn’t go unnoticed.”

[Cut to Jolly]

“Happy birthday, Y/n! Uh… I’m not usually great at stuff like this, but I just want to say thank you for always being there for us. You deserve the world, and I hope you know how much we all appreciate you.”

[Cut to Matt]

“Happy birthday, Y/n! You’re like the little sister I never asked for but now I can’t live without. Thanks for putting up with all of our shit on the daily and still managing to make us look good out there. I hope you had a great birthday!”

[Cut to Folio]

“... But I don’t know what to say- Oh you’re recording! Y/n, I know I give you a hard time sometimes, but it’s only because you’re basically family to me. You’re one of the hardest working people I know, and we’re all so lucky to have you around. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! I love you so much, I hope you had a nice birthday, and I can’t wait for our fishing trip when this is all over!”

[Cut to Nicholas]

“Y/n! Happy birthday! We all appreciate everything you do for us, even if some of us don’t say it! Have a great night, don’t vomit on Noah this time though… We all remember Bryan’s party!”

[Cut to Bryan]

“You’ll always be my best friend and-”

“Shit I wasn’t recording,” Rick laughed, “Okay, we’re all good.”

“Fuck you, Rick.” Bryan chuckled, “I just said something really beautiful… Y/n, I love you dearly, thanks for sticking with me and being my best friend throughout all the madness in our lives… I can’t remember what else I said now but that’s Rick’s fault. Happy birthday!”

[Cut to darkness, again]

"This is definitely them..." Ricky whispers to the camera.

Suddenly, the lights all switch on, revealing the beautifully decorated room, everyone shouts surprise! As you stand in the doorway, a look of disbelief and excitement on your face as you grin widely

"Oh my god... Guys you didn't have to do this!"

[Cut to Rick at the airport]

"Holy shit. I don't even know if I should post any of this now." He sighs, looking away for a moment, "Some serious shit went down in the last few days... But we did it. We played every show, we... Yeah, I'm not posting any of this shit-"

[Camera cuts]

--------------------------

spoiler alert (?) i'll be posting the final chapter in three parts because it's been getting longer and longer and longer, but i'm hoping to post all three parts throughout next week!!

@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah @kait16xo @discocowgirly @rainy-darling

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Veilguard Ecology Part 1

I have decided to channel the ways I am insane by cataloguing the plants, animals, rocks, geography, and what have you we see in Dragon Age, starting with Veilguard. I am starting this with the acknowledgement that all of these things largely exist just as "assets" and "textures" placed around the landscape to the devs rather than thought out inclusions (unlike some of the specific diversity of ecoregions & their contents we see in DAI), so I'm making it my problem instead.

who is this for? me. it is not going to be interesting to most other people beyond a vague "i didn't know that was something you could look at" or a "i like to read about other peoples weird hobbies" thing for everyone else probably. anyway

PROLOGUE PART 1: Minrathous

jumping into the game and what do we have here. two beloved companions we've known for years? no. ignore them. time for grass.

I'm going to use the fieldwork unknown ID naming conventions for plants that aren't referred to by species/common name in these games, though I will speculate as to what they're based on via imported textures. So this will be Grass1. You can see both yellow and green tissue, implying it's either a perennial or an annual that grows multiple rounds in a single season. My bet is perennial. The stems and leaves are both upright and rigid, the leaves angling sharply upward from the stems. This game is nowhere near detailed enough to see ligules, auricles, or trichomes (AND SHOULDNT. to be clear. i can't even imagine how hot my computer would be running) which are like my #1 way to ID grass family in absense of seed head (which these also don't appear to have) so not gonna bother guessing taxonomy. Although visually the shape reminds me of a Muhlenbergia perhaps. note if you google any of the plants i mention you'll only see highly watered versions which are Not how most grasses look in their native wild habitat, where they are much more resource limited, so keep that in mind.

And now on the other side of this little platform we have Grass2. Taller than Grass1, appears to be entirely senesced (gone dormant / all brown above ground / roots probably still alive--if aboveground tissue is yellow rather than grey you generally assume the plant isn't dead just not photosynthetically active). we have what MIGHT be now bare seedheads but no seeds left on them. the dry leaves tend to be more curly than rigid although the overall habit is still fairly upright and tall. This is too tall to be a Boutaloua or Hilaria jamseii but not spiky enough to be Hilaria rigida (although that one might be another contender for Grass1 now that i think about it), and the leaves are flat rather than rolled like an Achnatherum. probably its based on something outside my wheelhouse of dryland or great basin grasses so if i narrow it down better I'll come back to it later.

In this section we also see a pile of dead weeds all grouped together, in a few spots. however the lighting here is shit and i remember seeing these somewhere brighter later so I'm skipping them for now.

Here we have Shrub1. Look at that! finally something green in Minrathous (YES i know there is 1 single green herbacious something or other in the grass/weeds pile in the last spot but again it's in a group asset so we're saving it for somewhere with better lighting. also it just looked so sad there on its own). anyway this is an upright shrub with redish stems and some sort of dark berry in clusters. I'm guessing this is based on some ornamental which aren't my wheelhouse, but the leaves are opposite branching, leaf margins smooth and entire (though some are browning at the tips which is a nice visual detail), and the fruits form in small groups but not large enough cluters that would indicate an umbel type flower. I have NO proof to back this up but when i look at it i feel like it's vibe is evergreen rather than deciduous. maybe because the light on the leaves makes them seem waxy... however this is not a plant you are meant to look at up close as it's entirely flat textures layered together so i'm concluding analysis there until i pull up an ornamental shrubs list and figure out which one it's been scanned off.

ENOUGH WITH THE PLANTS, LETS TALK ROCKS: Solas' Hideout Cave

Ok there are some more senesced and dead grass/weed textures here too that aren't exact copies of above. but the lighting is even more abysmal so i'll skip for now and come back if i don't run into them elsewhere in the game i guess. also i'll be honest i can see an aspen leaf in the pile and there's NOT aspen trees here so it will just annoy me to put them in this section rather than Arlathan which is up next. let's look at the cliff instead.

Here we have some sort of chunky weathered yet clearly very stratified rock. you can see all those narrow horizontal lines that indicate this is a sedimentary rock, so at one time Minrathous was a depositional environment, which i'm not getting into right now but am making a note for my now 10-year-old tectonic plates map of Thedas. We're right on the sea without much beach and the rocks look more chunky than crumbly, as well as this darker grey color, so i'm leaning sandstone/siltstone rather than something softer like limestone. maybe some shale but Minrathous has been built so large I can't imagine the region is predominately shale or it'd be way more structurally unsound after all these centuries.

Now when I first played Veilguard this was one of the first places i stopped and went "ohhh, nice" while looking around because I do think they did a fantastic job with the ground surface textures. we have a sort of sandy patch on top of a rock base which makes sense for an area people are walking in/out from but the edges are clearer, which if they're being slapped by waves now and then would indeed drive the sediment either in or out. We have different grain sizes for the sand and gravel as well as different colors. The ground-rock is kind of way lighter in color than the walls-rocks but i am attributing this to the needs of seeing your character when running around vs stratigraphy change. anyway this is just chatter the funny part is actually when you go inside the cave

aaaand now we're leaving realistic critique behind and are entirely within the realm of game design. But i do want to point it out because i think this is one of those things that, unless you spend a lot of time thinking about geology/geography, you wouldn't ever consider. I've even bothered to adjust the lighting in these screenshots (why are games all so DARK) so you can see what I'm talking about.

Here in the hideout we first see on the floor some cobblestone/brick on the floor, partly obscured by sediment, and leading right up to and implied underneath the rest of the stone wall. In the second screenshot you can see the remains of elven brickwork in the wall and archways leading further in, both in various stages of crumbling. whats wrong with this? Well, the rock is growing on top of them. Which is not how rock works--rock can distort, warp, crush, etc buildings housed inside it but it does not grow over things the way plants do. Yes, even if ancient Elvhen empire was 10,000 years old, sedimentary rock cliffs need millions of years to form, not thousands, and if they WERE forming new rock it would happen in even layers from the bottom up, not growing over the wall like a parasite (I would allow for stalactite growth too but that's not what we are seeing in this cave).

What has happened here is: environment designer made an uneven wall, then took a brick wall asset, and sank it halfway into that wall so the rock shows through. This is WAY faster than designing a brick wall that is falling apart and showing rock from behind the places it's crumbled away. I don't blame them for doing this, it would be very silly to put that much extra work in for something only me and probably 4 other people will ever notice. but! perhaps now you will notice it too the next time you play a cave or underground section of a game and go "heehoo the fantasy Rock That Can Grow Over Things" the way I do.

That's all for this section--up next will be the Arlathan Forest part of the prologue, eventually.

[agape-emo-eros]

Ok here it goes. I hope I do the topic justice.

At first I read Omelas as a typical dystopia, a society that looks perfect but hides a dark underbelly it is reliant on for survival. In this reading the narrarator telling you to imagine the things happening in Omelas or asking you how to even describe this in a way you will understand doesn't really matter. It's just a way to account for personal taste. Or perhaps to compensate for how we already percieve this place because of our exposure to other stories.

But if we take the narrator as an integral part of the story then these lines start telling a somewhat different story.

The line: "Do you believe? Do you accept the festival, the city, the joy?" directly asks you if you believe a good society, without war, without a centralised authority (civic or religious), without adds, civil unrest and outside threats can exist. And not just for "noble savages and uncomplicated people" but for people just like us, with the same dark impulses.

And then only after the narrator hears your presumed "No." they say "No? Then let me describe one more thing." and goes on to explain the Omelas child.

They do not tell you that the following description is real. They even finnish the description with "Now do you believe them? Are they not more credible?"

If we take this additional information as a fabrication meant to sell us on the reality of this world then the quote "The trouble is that we have a bad habit of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain" is a condemnation of our willingness to believe that in all these years noone tried to test if the child really has to suffer, or figure out how this process works or say something kind to the child just because over the idea of a good society and goodness of people.

The ones who walk away from Omelas go towards "a place even less imaginable to most of us than the city of happiness. It cannot be described at all. It is possible it does not exist." The narrator acknowledges that we might lack the imagination to see a better world. Acknowledges that it might not be real and the people leaving might be wrong "but they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas."

----------------------------------------------------------

Since I started stalking your blog a bit this morning because of Black Sails this also might mean something to you:

The story viewed this way makes some of the same points as Jack Rackham's "A story is true. A story is untrue. As time extends, it matters less and less. The stories we want to believe... those are the ones that survive, despite the upheaval and transition and progress."

It can be a horrible reminder of how the world will soon see Flint, Silver and the rest as just vile pirate monsters incapable of humanity as presented in Woodes Rodgers's book and A General History of the Pyrates (which Mrs Hudson is seen reading to hear children).

It can be uplifting message reminding you that as long as the real story of Captain Flint and Long John Silver is remembered, not entirely "twisted to fit into their narrative" and allowed to shape us and spur us towards a worthy goal the loss is not total. History is written by the victors so as long as you survive to tell the tale, even if you did not manage to win in a conventional way, you have won a little.

And on a third level it can say that Silver's inability to believe in a wold in which they win the war in any meaningful way a world in which the pirate-maroon revolution can succeed is a self fulfilling prophecy that caused what we now know as history and have to believe.

(This is why I find the idea of Silver as somebody isekaid from the modern world into the story of Treasure Island compelling. His knowledge of the future forces the future into the shape he knows.)

Both, in the end, condemn our inability and unwillingness to imagine a better word as the reason why we do not achieve. We believe we need a leviathan king to keep us in line through terror to insure we do not hurt eachother and so we never try to depose him and realise what life could be like without one.

(This ofcourse as Le Guin herself would point out aren't the only good, correct possible takes, but I like them.)

Guess I’m never going to stop seeing red about the unholy number of times I’ve seen people quote “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas” out of context in order to condemn stories that focus on dark or troubling subject matter or that don’t end happily (“The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain”), when THE STORY ITSELF is about a society that closes its eyes to suffering and evil in order to live in comfort and has a hopeful but at best bittersweet ending

[seance]

WHAT'D YOU DO WITH HIM? I KNOW HE WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT BY CHOICE. I KNOW YOU THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HIM.

[turtleblogatlast]

“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo

[xxplastic-cubexx]

do u think either charles or erik had trouble coming to terms with their love for one another?? like religious guilt, internalized homophobia, etc.

Many such cases really … not hard to imagine them dealin with that …

[dnalt-d2]

Alright-y, so in case anyone missed it, we've recently gotten some information from Quackity that he's most likely doing some new project, that seems to involve multiple languages, once again. Kinda like QSMP?

Maybe EXACTLY like QSMP…????

Or maybe not

Basically, the way I see it, it is pretty likely that this is QSMP-Related, what with the images that he's been posting recently, with the GODDAMN EYE GUY

However, even if it is QSMP-related, there is something that would need to be addressed

And that's that it's incredibly unlikely we'd be getting QSMP back in the form we knew it as

Honestly, I don't really see many of the Admins returning, Egg or otherwise. Whether it's by their own choice, or the choice of the powers-that-be. And I think we all know that all the Admins, Egg or otherwise, were a huge part of what made QSMP special

In addition to that, there's also a chance that with that sort of outcome, a lot of the Creators wouldn't be coming back either. I could kinda see some of them not returning even if the Admins DO come back. I know a few of them had more sour experiences with QSMP than others did, and I couldn't really blame them for not wanting to give it another shot

So even if this is QSMP, there's a HIGH chance it won't be the same server we knew

But I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. After all, I'm pretty sure the Eggs weren't initially MEANT to be as big as they were, which means that there HAD to be some plans for other stuff at one point or another

Hopefully…

Now obviously this is ALLL just, as usual, ✧˚⊹SPECULATION~!⊹˚✧

I'm not a psychic, and I don't know jack-all about what's been going on behind the scenes regarding QSMP or anything Quackity-related. I'm just making educated guesses and reminding everyone to temper their expectations, and try not to be too disappointed if this isn't exactly what you were hoping for

Because even if it isn't, I think it could still be something pretty fun, and I'll probably at least give it a chance regardless of whatever it winds up being

(Except maybe Purgatory 3, because I think I had enough of those vibes during my recent Purgatory 1 Re-Watch)

…

(Oh who am I kidding I'd probably end up checking out Purgatory 3 at least once I have a problem okay???)

[hanzajesthanza]

"the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story can't hurt you!!"

the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story:

[yellllowstar]

slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery

(creature by half•alive)

(textless + timelapse below cut)

[leviiackrman]

I just found out what happens to dabi at the end of mha. Don’t talk to me.