#but there are like 20 other artist I listen to constantly that I considered including | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daniel-profeta · 2 years

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top 10 songs of all time?

Changes everyday, but in no particular order some of my more consistent favorites are:

The front bottoms - Twin Sized Mattress

Car Seat headrest - Kimochi Warui *so many options here, but to pick one from this band...*

Tool - Lateralus

The Mountain Goats - Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton

Phoebe Bridgers - I Know the End

Elliott Smith - King's Crossing

AJJ - People II The Reckoning

At this point I started to think harder about the songs that have meant the most to me throughout my life and as I've gotten older. For example, I like a lot of Bright Eyes songs more than First day, but that song has had way more impact on me. I play it all the time, the lyrics are permanently imprinted in my mind, and to me it's one of the most beautiful and vulnerable love songs ever written. With that in mind more and more "important" songs started coming to mind.

8. Alex G - Forever 9. Bright Eyes - First Day of My Life 10. Johnny Hobo - New Mexico Song

Now I have ten, that was easy.

Except...

I remembered that one Demarco song that makes me cry everytime I hear it. Got to include that. How many times have I listened to the Glow pt 2 during the summer? How could I leave off something from Porcupine Tree, the band that I once considered my favorite band of all time? So I kept going, through names and bands that I collect like emotional trophies, not wanting to leave anything out. They all mean so much, it's honestly pathetic. I used to hyperfixate on things like Zelda and Star Wars, then I found this shit and my brain chemistry has been altered ever since.

11. Mac Demarco - Moonlight on the River 12. Mitski - Texas Reznikoff 13. The Microphones - I Want the Wind to Blow 14. Pigeon Pit - Nights like These 15. Radiohead - Exit Music 16. The Crane Wives - Never Love an Anchor

Funny how quickly a song can feel like home. That Crane Wives song technically shouldn't even be here, I only heard it for the first time a few weeks ago. Yet maybe listening to it 30 times since qualifies it for consideration. Phoebe Bridgers has a lyric in one of her songs about wishing she had written something instead of the original artist, but she can't cause they said it first. So instead she'll learn their song and sing until the feverish inspired feeling fades away in a voyeuristic catharsis.

I think about that line constantly. Also quickly want to mention here that I'm more of an album guy. I try to listen to full records to try an experience the full piece of art the creator made. So while no song off The Downward Spiral is on my list of favorite songs, that was and is one of the most impactful albums to me as a teenager.

17. Porcupine Tree - Arriving Somewhere but not Here 18. XTC - Dear God 19. Wilco _ I am trying to break your heart 20. NIN - Burn 21. Lucy Dacus - Night Shift 22. Haley Heynderickx - Oom Sha La La 23. Swans - New Mind

Swans was hard, because there were a few songs that meant a lot to me. But ultimately there wasn't one more visceral or frankly more evil sounding than New Mind. Love the themes, love the singing style, love the backing yells, love the industrial outro, love the faint organ, love everything about that damn song.

The list kept getting longer, and for each song I was writing a paragraph to explain my choice lol. After the first like 15 I decided to stop doing that for the sake of your eyes and for risk of sounding redundant. But a major thing I love about some of these songs are how inspirational they are. Twin Sized Mattress, Denton Metal Band, Story of an Artist, they all paint a picture of the type of person I want to be. The type of art I will always support. The thing I hope to one day inspire in other people.

When you punish a person for dreaming their dream don't expect them to thank or forgive you. The best ever death metal band out of Denton, will in time both outpace and outlive you.

Those words could honestly save someone's life, it's crazy.

24. A Perfect Circle - Three Libras 25. Deftones - Rosemary 26. Frank Ocean - Ivy 27. November Suite - The Tower 28. Daniel Johnston - Story of an Artist 29. Sloppy Jane - Jesus and Your Living Room Floor 30. Big Thief - Not 31. Tyler the Creator - Boredom 32. Duster - The Landing 33. The Velvet Underground - Sunday Morning 34. The Voidz - Human Sadness 35 - 108. System of a Down - (every song) 109. Death Grips - Beware

Okay, threw these and now dozens more names are crowding my brain, and this incredibly pretentious post must come to an end. Long story short, I only have one song left to share, but each of these song has a very personal connection to me. Certain ones (like that tool song) actually changed the way I look at the world and helped me through dark periods of my life.

Many of them inspire me, some of them are just beautiful in a broken and real sorta way, and all of them feel human. The art represents something bigger than itself and the ambition knows no bounds. These songs changed my world for the better, and if you read this you are now obligated to listen to all of them.

I could ramble about music till the end of time:)

finally 110. 100 Gecs - Money Machine

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datcammi · 2 years

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About Me 2022

Hello Traveler, and welcome to my little slice of the internet. My name is Cammi, I’m a nearly 30 demigirl (AFAB; she/her or they/them). Honestly this blog is for my benefit as a place where I can work through my thoughts, as it’s easier for me to process things if I feel like I’m talking to someone. That said, this is my space and I will work in it in the ways that are most beneficial to me.

I'll update this as I think of relevant things, or things change.

Starting with some key things about myself

I'm an 'elder' emo with strong yallternative leanings. I've been identifying as emo since the early 2000s. I've been identifying as goth since the 2010s.

I'm a pagan witch and my practice is solitary. While I can appreciate the benefits of a coven, it's not for me. The things I work with are often considered taboo, dangerous, 'dark'. I am not love and light. I do not follow the Wiccan Rede. I do not believe in the so-called '3 Fold Rule'. My practice is eclectic but is based in personal experience and ancestral work. The individuals I work with and honor are minimally documented if not undocumented.

I am mentally ill/unwell and neurodivergent. I've struggled with ADHD-C my entire life and was part of a case study for what it looks like in girls in the late 90s. I was then diagnosed with BPD at 19, received a C-PTSD, OCD, and MDD diagnosis in my mid-20s, and at nearly 30 have additionally received a GAD diagnosis. Recently learned that I'm probably autistic, so tests for that will be coming soon.

I cannot remember the majority of my life before age 14 sans a small handful of things. I've recently begun remembering more through intense shadow work and different types of therapy, including hypnotherapy.

I do believe there can be benefits to medication and have been trying to find the right ones for me for the last couple years. Unfortunately I have been unmedicated since October 2022 due to negligence by my previous doctor who decided to abruptly stop filling my medication. Checked myself into an in-patient Behavioral Health Center (BHC) for nearly a week in early to mid December 2022. I got a new cocktail of meds, so we'll see how this goes.

I partake in psychedelics and identify as both a pothead and a psychonaut. I strongly believe there are great benefits to the proper use of both.

I'm a psychology student with a focus on the use of 'alternative' forms of therapy and medication, such as psychedelics, and their use in long-term growth and healing.

I'm an extrovert and love being around other people, unfortunately the feeling is rarely mutual and as a result I have spent a long time alone. I have no friends from childhood or highschool, and my online group has long since abandoned me after I chose to leave my abusive ex-husband. Now, I am overly independent, cynical, and untrusting of other's intentions. I refuse to be the only one putting in all the work again.

I pretty much constantly have music playing. I had 40,000 minutes of listening time just on Spotify in 2022. I listen to all genres and a multitude of artists.

I don't believe sex and romance are mutually exclusive. I am of the belief that the parameters of one's relationship(s) are defined by the individuals directly involved, and no one else. For some non-monogamy is what is healthy and happy for them, and for others monogamy is their thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with either, as long as the individuals are happy. I, personally, practice non-monogamy.

I love, love, love to read, write, and worldbuild. It keeps me sane, honestly, and I believe every work of fiction has a grain of truth to it.

I'm obsessed with my hair, it's like the one thing about myself that I am genuinely proud of. I do intense research on all products I use on it and do strip testing before using it on my whole head. "It'll grow back" is genuinely something I HATE hearing and makes me incredibly, intensely angry.

I do not tolerate liars, ever. Just be honest, it's not hard. If you can't be honest with someone then you don't respect them or care about them. Also, lying by omission is still lying.

I make lots of vague references to little things I've come across that give me the happy chemical.

#Just Me Again Down Here #about me #introducing myself

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boognish-worshipper · 3 years

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Midnight City AU

this is an au where the main characters are all young adults!! (or millennials ig? they’re in their 20s basically) i gave a rundown of what’s what on a diff post,, i’m also splitting it up into diff chapters,, so this is gonna take a looooong time to finish. i’m posting this before i nitpick my writing to the max

it’s basically a lot of references to that point in time, artists, pop culture etc. all the chapters are named after songs from that era (including the name of this au bc i love midnight city and what better way to describe LS ‼️), and the lyrics r usually connected to what the chapter’s about, or about a character dynamic :D i hope this isn’t too cheesy, or sounds off ig. any typos in this were probably over looked bc i constantly reread my writing and rearrange stuff and make sure it sounds good 🥳 hope y’all enjoy !!! i’m also including a tag to find the chapters under :)

//Chapter 1: Crimewave

Trevor would never, ever admit it, but he had fallen into the category known as “post-hipster”. This was a strange era that began culminating, taking LS by storm. Whether he liked it or not, he could never avoid it. Even if he swore up and down he wasn’t like them, it was practically a paradox. Saying he wasn’t like them just made him a branched off version of the thing he denounced. Each aesthetic that was churned out as the 2010s rolled in were tied to a style, a sound, and Trevor couldn’t care less. It’s not like people liked what he liked. He didn’t belong to anything in particular, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t like them. If anything, he just became another obscure genre in the mix.

One of his favorite music groups was a Canadian duo called Crystal Castles. He enjoyed a good number of their songs, developing an interest for electropunk and pop punk. There was something unique about the sound, and it made Trevor feel special, like he discovered some sort of hidden treasure. He was into pop punk groups like Paramore too, but it was something about them that was just different. People knew Paramore. He often lingered around Sterling Lake, where other post-irony hipsters and classic hipsters resided, careful not to fully associate with them. After all, he apparently despised them, even though he participated in their strange… “culture”. If you could even call it that. From time to time he would find himself discussing his favorite artists with whatever semi-normal person was there, making a couple friends himself who weren’t the snooty kind he’d grown used to.

They all loved talking about how exceptional their taste in music was, a wide variety of people hanging around with their own cliques. Some liked Fall Out Boy, while others liked Blink-182, and then there were the weirdos who liked groups like Radiohead. Most of those guys were whiny, proclaiming how misunderstood they were. He knew maybe one Radiohead song at most (he definitely, definitely never cried to “Creep” and even if he did, so what) but never found himself willingly getting into their music. Then you had the nosedivr crowd, which consisted of mostly girls, and the occasional hipster guy that defected. Their taste was.. alright. Consisted of artists like Lana Del Ray and Marina and the Diamonds, who were their idols. He found almost everyone there besides the few friends he made kind of edgy, and not in the cool way. But he figured all hipsters and guys like them were kind of uncool. Don’t even get him started on those other indie rock types. God. He still came back as often as he could though, establishing some kind of routine. Most people there avoided him anyway, which he preferred. He had enough troubles with them in the past. There was one day he grew tired of the people gawking at him, and he launched a hipster right into the lake. So yeah, nobody within their right mind so much as looked in his direction. That was just how he rolled.

Today, he sat on a nearby bench in Sterling Lake’s park, watching some ducks float on water. His usual friends had been there too, seeing his clowncore buddy Wade with his cousin Floyd. Wade was extremely different than the pretentious fucks around them. He had a shit ton of piercings, and ICP was his favorite music group. Floyd on the other hand, fit right in. Almost too much, like it was something he was forced to do. But he did genuinely enjoy Weezer, of all things you could enjoy. Wade started waving at Trevor, while Floyd hid behind him. All he did was awkwardly wave back, turning his attention back to the lake. He liked Wade, but the clown stuff he wore sometimes spooked him. He didn’t pay much mind to his relative. Looking back across the water, he saw someone new, observing the area. Some dude a little above the average height, hands in his pockets walking around. He seemed a bit lost, and Trevor figured he should help if he was. After all, what was this guy doing here? New people didn’t show up often.

“Hey bud, you lost or something?”

“Oh uh, nah not really. I’m just looking for this girl I met a while ago, said she hangs out around here?”

“What she look like? I’m here pretty often.”

“Uhh kinda short, dark brownish hair? Wears fishnet stockings, high waisted shorts or whatever those grunge people are into.”

“Let me guess, she into the Neighborhood?”

“How’d you know?”

“Yeah, that’s Amanda, she’s a bit of a regular. Not too fond of me I must say.”

“How come?”

“She’s just petty towards me.” He said with a shrug. He didn’t feel like relaying his encounters with her if the guy was dating her or something.

“Oh… well d’ya think you could help me find her? I don’t really know anybody else here. I could actually use the help, since you know her.”

“Eh sure, why not.”

It’s not like he had anything better to do. The two began to walk around the park, gravel and dirt crunching beneath their feet.

“So.. what’s this place about?” The strange guy asked.

“Hm? Oh, it’s just one of those places the hipster folks meet up I guess. Don’t understand it much myself, nor do I really like them.”

“Then why do you come here?”

“Dunno. It’s relatively peaceful, those freaks keep to themselves.”

The man, who was only a smidge shorter than Trevor, glared up at him.

“Hey man, don’t call my girl a freak.”

“Ehh I don’t really count her in with the generic skinny jean wearing hipsters. More of a.. what is it called.. nosedivr type. Whatever that stupid website’s called. Why do you think she dresses like that?”

“Huh.. Never really thought to ask her.”

As he thought about the stuff Amanda wore, he took note of how the man next to him was dressed. He sported an olive jacket with a black turtle neck, and a plain pair of jeans. He wore beat up black converse to top it off, and a pair of Rimmers sunglasses sat upon his head. He looked simple, yet distinguished with the way he presented himself, hair neatly combed back. He figured the two would look nice standing next to one another. They would’ve made an attractive couple, if they weren’t dating already, the kind that turns heads. Trevor wasn’t like them. He wore a black beanie over his mullet, and his favorite pair of red Dix sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose. The rest of his fit looked disheveled. He had thrown on a wrinkled top, solid black with little surf boards and cars along the bottom- he was a sucker for Hawaiian shirts. His pants were tan colored but had some bleach stains, with old combat boots on his feet.

“Yeah, we may not like each other but I don’t really consider her a freak like those guys.”

He jutted a thumb in the direction of a circle of guys huddled around a phone. The man holding the phone had strawberry blonde hair and a clean outfit on. An expensive looking outfit.

“Who are they?”

“The people here I absolutely cannot fucking stand. The genuine hipsters.”

“Oh.. and you’re..?”

“I’m my own kind. I’m not like these losers, all uppity and shit.”

“Right. Gotcha.”

They walked around a bit more before finding the group Amanda was with. She sat on a bench, chatting with a few girls who dressed similarly to her. All of them had black incorporated into their style. She herself had a black jumper on, tucked neatly into the front of her jean shorts. Just like the guy described, she had fishnets on under them, skater shoes to match. Loose braids fell on her shoulders, and a small black choker was wrapped around her neck.

“Oh, there he is now! Babe! Over here!”

She narrowed her eyes upon seeing Trevor standing next to him.

“Hello, Trevor.” She huffed.

“Relax, I was helping your boyfriend or whatever look for you.”

Her face softened slightly, but still kept a small glare in his direction. She pressed her lips together tight before replying.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Yup.”

The man turned to face Trevor, sticking out a hand.

“Hey, thanks for showing me around. Trevor, is it?”

“Don’t wear it out.”

He shook his hand, noticing how soft it was. It was in stark contrast to his own, which was rough and calloused.

“Name’s Michael. I’ll see you around most likely? Thanks again.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Amanda huffed again, nudging Michael’s shoulder.

“Let’s go hun, Bean Machine closes soon!”

“I’m comin’ I’m comin’!”

The two sauntered off, hand in hand. Trevor stood dumbly, watching them walk away. He was right. They did look good together. He wondered if he would actually see this Michael again, kicking a rock. He went back to the bench he originally sat at, putting his earbuds in, listening to some Crystal Castles again to pass the time. The beat thumped in his ears, and all he could think was how much better this shit was compared to that club music shit that played on every radio station in a 5 foot radius. He sat there, scrolling through his own secret nosedivr account, reblogging some photo of a lit cigarette. Right before a hand touched his shoulder causing him to jump.

“What the fuck- Oh. Ron.”

Ron was another friend of Trevor’s, a guy he had met outside one of the iFruit stores talking about how “they’re tapping the phones they sell in there!” and all that conspiracy nonsense. He was a paranoid guy, but Trevor kind of liked that about him. Those were the kind of freaks he liked. He was shorter than Trevor, sort of frail in stature. He wore a bright red windbreaker over a faded tourist tee that read “I went to Liberty City and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!”, along with khaki colored cargo shorts. It didn’t help that he wore some goofy looking bucket hat, and socks with sandals. He dressed like someone’s middle aged father.

“Trevor! Have you seen Wade around anywhere?”

“Last I checked, he was with Floyd.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Uh no, but my best bet is they went to that vinyl shop Floyd’s girlfriend works at.”

“Will ya come with me to find him?”

“Now why the fuck would I do that? What do you need him for?”

“Well I- I uh- um..”

“I uh! I uh! Spit it out Ron!”

“It’s about the Merryweather Night Club.”

Merryweather was a big organization that had a wide range of private clubs all over the country, and complimentary body guards to suit. They were all expensive as fuck, and anywhere they settled jacked up the prices of everything else. A lot of neighborhoods became gentrified as a result, and people actually considered it a good thing. What a fucking joke. Trevor of course couldn’t stand it. He hated bullies, and Merryweather was no exception. He’d been wanting to dismantle the club since they settled in LS, seeing as they only amplified the fake feel of the city. Let’s just say he’s gotten into more than a few scuffles with the club. And let’s just say it ended with someone getting stabbed as a result. The guy had it coming to him anyway. Between bouncers and the clubbers, they didn’t like Trevor or his kind loitering around the joint. It didn’t stop him from plotting some sort of revenge though. Ron per usual was on board, his reason being Merryweather’s violent history that had been swept under the rug. They were rather forceful relocating people who had lived in certain neighborhoods for years, Ron being one of their victims. Wade only decided to tag along because he wanted to be included.

“Ah fuck, what’d those bastards do now?”

“They’re throwing some big party!”

“…What fucking for?”

“All I know some guy’s coming to visit, somebody they labeled important and he’s-“

“Woah woah woah wait, Ron. Who?”

“Steve Haines.” He breathed out, careful not to be overheard.

Trevor’s eyes widened, his gaze shooting over to the posse he had poked fun of before. Steve was talking to the group, all of them doing that fake laugh they always did. God, even their humor was pretentious.

“Those fucking hipsters!” He hissed.

“I abhor them, you know that-“

“I know. I know. But, that Weston guy’s gonna be there with him-“

“Weston? Devin Weston?”

If Trevor hated hipsters, then he utterly loathed rich daddy’s money boys like Devin Weston. He had only gotten that stupid fucking night club because his father paid Don Percival enough money to let Devin do whatever he pleased with the Merryweather body guards. It was an elitist club, and they only allowed the best of the best in there.

“What the fuck’s going on there?”

“Something to do with those guys he hangs out with. I think they’re doing something major, expansion maybe-”

“And him and Devin are working together or..?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t hear much after that, that’s why I wanted to grab you and Wade and-”

“Then let’s fucking go get him, Ron!”

The two rushed out of there, heading for the vinyl store to look for Wade. Trevor knew a shit storm was coming, and he absolutely couldn’t wait.

//the next chapter’s gonna be longer i promise lolz

#gta v #grand theft auto v #michael de santa #trevor philips #young trikey #franklin clinton #lamar davis #lester crest #amanda de santa #steve haines #midnight city au

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trickstermiraculous · 5 years

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New Guardian Marinette

*spoiler for season three finale*

A lot has changed since master fu handed the role of the guardian to me, for one it has been two years and yes, HawkMoth is unfortunately still around. When Master Fu left, I looked through the things he left me which did include a way to contact the newly returned Order Of The Miraculous so it made sense for me to contact them as soon as possible. I was lucky enough for them to answer me but what I did not expect was for them give me the offer to train me at the temple. I quickly declined, explaining that I was Ladybug and I had duties to Pairs along with m dream to become a designer as well as the fact that there was no chance my parents would randomly let me move to chance to train a temple that mystery appeared out of nowhere.

They understand that but still wanted to train me so gave me the option for me to still be able to do jobs as a designer, as Ladybug (by using the horse miraculous and Akuma alerts) and telling my parents what exactly was going on. I took the deal after talking it over with Tiki and Wayzz for a month and they both agree it was the best option for me. So, after agreeing I sat my parents down and explained everything to them from the beginning to what was going on now. They were angry of course (whose parents wouldn’t after the child was a superhero who was in danger constantly) but after talking it over for a week, they agree to allow me to go train in China as long as I kept up with school online as well as make me check-in with them every week.

So with it decide, I started to pack along with telling the school that I was leaving Paris so they could give my family the paperwork I needed and telling the class. Adrien (who was now dating Kagami) was sad to see me go but said he would try to keep me updated with what was going on in the class as often as possible along with making sure we were still friends even though I wasn’t still in Paris, Luka understood and said he would keep in contact as well as hope the I would feel happier there and not in an Akuma fill Paris, Kagami agreed to keep being friends but did apologise to that she was with Adrien but I made sure that she knew that I wasn’t upset with her and I was happy for them and that she would like Adrien to be happy with Kagami then be in a relationship with me as he only saw me as a friend.

Chat was understanding when I explained that I would take long to get to Akuma fight due to moving to the temple but understood why I was going to live there and due to me being the new guardian, I made us brake the rule on secret IDs, it was surprising to see that Adrain was Chat especially since that meant I was refusing his flirting while trying to date him out of costume but it was just as surprising to Adrien who realised we both try to date each other alter egos but after a conversation that if in the future we find ourselves wanting to date each other again we would try it but for now would just stay friends.

Alya was a bit more difficult since our relationship was strained due to Lila and she wanted information on who I was going to live with and why and wasn’t able to drop it when I said that it was family matter and she should understand that I could tell her everything, I did still keep in contact with her but she started to stop contacting me after the first two months I was gone as going by her social media began to treat Lila as her best friend, I kept in contact with Nino more than I did with Alya since he was a childhood friend, respected that I wouldn’t explain everything and made sure to at least check-in with me once a month. Everyone else in the class was upset to see me go but after the first year of me gone seemed to move on which I understand since it’s usual for long-distance relationship (friendship or romantic) to not last.

As for me moving to the temple, it was hard at first especially since most of them were still getting used to being in a different time than when they disappeared but as I quickly found out there were allies of the Order that continued to existed when they disappeared and were helping the Order get used to this time period. I was homesick for quite a few months but with the help of Tiki and other Kwamis, I got used to it. I did continue to design stuff for Jagged Stone and other celebrities under the name MDC as well as make sure to keep up with school work with others in the Order offring to teach me different subjects.

My trainer Kia Lupine who welds the Wolf miraculous was a strict but understanding teacher, she taught me how to properly control my miraculous’s abilities as well as how to control my emotions so I would not be affected by an Akuma and proper fighting technique since I only had basic training from my mother who used to be a martial artist along with making sure that I got taught gymnastics as well since Ladybug holder was apparently known for it. Kai also gave me ideas on how to defend my self outside my suit with weapons and gadgets like smoke bombs, sleeping gas and a grappling hook.

After two years of training, I did change quite a bit with me having my hair down instead of in pigtails and me wearing a pink floral shirt that was untucked most of the time as a reference to master fu, I wore beige pants and light pink sneakers and Tiki hid in my pockets or hair most of the time. I was also more in control of my emotions, I’m less likely to become angry or jealous which was I problem for me, I will admit. I feel a lot better than two years ago which is why I’m going back to Paris for a year as a break from training (I’m taking the horse miraculous with me in case I need other miraculous from the box which is now in a secure part of the temple.

My parents were glad to see me back and welcome me with hugs and kissing. Adrien, Kagami, Luka and Nino were also there to see me back, helping me unpack and update me on what was happing along with telling me that they (asides from Adrien who already knew) knew I was Ladybug by realising Adrien was Chat Noir and why Ladybug arrived later to fights and didn’t do patrols as much which would be understandable since I moved to China but they swore no one else knew especially Nino saying that Alya had no idea that Nino figured it out or who he suspected was Ladybug considering she was still listening to Lila lies which they all knew about after Adrien told them about what Lila was really like.

I went into school earlier on the first day in order for the teachers to help me readjust and to find out if I was still in my old class which I was. While waiting for the class to start, I sat at the back designing idea for some of my commissions. Adrien and Nino were the first to arrive and chatted with me as we waited for the bell to go, which it did about 20 minutes later.

When the class arrived they all seemed to focus on their conversation with Lila to notice me. Mrs Bustier arrived and started to take the register until the ended when she announced my name. “I would like to welcome back Marinette and hope you all make sure to welcome her back as well” Mrs Bustier stated while giving me a smile, “thank Mrs Bustier” I replied returning a smile which made the whole class look at me with shocked faces. “Marinette, your back” Alya stated seemly to still be in a state of shock, “yep, I got back three days ago” I replied as others in the class welcomed me back, “nice outfit Mari” said Kim, “thanks” I replied “but let’s continue this conversation at lunch” and with that Mrs Bustier started the lesson.

At lunch, I got a lot of questions which I answered to the best of my ability but I talked mostly to Adrien and Nino since we were all still close. It was nice to see the class again but I have changed meaning most of the class will have to get used to my new personality first before we are proper friends again. I ended up going to the bathroom before the end of lunch which as I suspected, is were Lila decide to make her anger known. “You think just because your back, you are going to become friends with everyone again or this new attitude will make Adrien date” Lila growled gripped the sink beside me “you have another thing coming, I have a perfect reputation here so if you go against me, I will make sure you get kicked out like before”, “and that worked so well last time” I retorted, “listen Lila, I don’t care about dating Adrien as I know he is happy with Kagami and as for becoming friends with everyone again, I don’t expect that to happen but if it does, I hope they trust me more than before and listen to my evidence than just automatically assuming I’m wrong so if you don’t mind I’m going back to class” and with that I left the bathroom with Lila glaring daggers at me when she came back to class.

The idea came from @meatballsu new guardian Marinette drawings as I really like how she looked.

Also on ao3

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unscharf-an-den-raendern · 4 years

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Interview with Ralf from 2005 (translated from German)

Read the original German version here: http://www.electroempire.com/index.php?thread/1755-ralf-h%C3%BCtter-kraftwerk-interview-2005/

They’re the most influential German band of all time, for a third of a century they advanced and shaped electronic music like no one else. During that time, they only gave about one hundred interviews worldwide, the living legends are considered to be media-shy. Now Arschmaden-rave-magazin managed to be the first German magazine since 2001 to get an exclusive interview with the Düsseldorf sound pioneers Kraftwerk. Hauke Schlichting was allowed to spend almost an hour on the phone with Ralf Hütter and found out that music gods are also completely normal people sometimes.

Hauke Schlichting: Are there many pre-order of the notebook edition of “Minimum Maximum” already?

Ralf Hütter: I think so. Kraftwerk is not just music, we also create the lyrics, the pictures and the entire visual concept. I’ve been doing that with my partner Florian Schneider since 1970. This notebook edition enables us to put a lot of ideas into effect that we had for a long time. And now that it's finished, it's a liberating moment.

Hauke Schlichting: I once saw you in the audience of a talk by Oskar Sala. I suppose that pioneers like Sala, John Cage and certainly Karlheinz Stockhausen were a source of inspiration for Kraftwerk...

Ralf Hütter: Especially in our living environment in the second half of the sixties. Our friends and we were involved in the art scene. Electronic music was not foreign to us.

Hauke Schlichting: In an old interview from 1976 you said: "The world of sounds is music.” The first thing that came to my mind was whether the members of Kraftwerk listened to and liked music by noise musicians or even industrial music? Is that a similar approach?

Ralf Hütter: I can only speak for myself now, but I definitely see a spiritual kinship there. Definitely.

Hauke Schlichting: You called your music "Industrial Folk Music" once...

Ralf Hütter: Yes, but not with an F. It was about "Industrielle Volksmusik", the English translated it. It was an idea of the electronic Volkswagen. That's a concept. We have always reported on everyday things. "Autobahn", for example, was an attempt to make everyday music.

Hauke Schlichting: Is there any electronic music from - let's say the last 20 years - that inspired you?

Ralf Hütter: Yes, especially this spiritual kinship between the two cities starting with a D.

Hauke Schlichting: Düsseldorf and Detroit!

Ralf Hütter: Right. We know the creative heads of Detroit like Derrick May, Mike Banks and Kevin Saunderson. And that's what we consider to be a real inspiration, alternating, which finds its sound in this language. The dynamic that's in there, like in here. This electric funk or whatever you want to call it, that's a spiritual kinship.

Hauke Schlichting: Were the first Cybotron records of Juan Atkins things that you already noticed back in 1981?

Ralf Hütter: We were also in New York earlier, where the record company took us to some afterhours in non-authorized clubs.

Hauke Schlichting: They already existed back then!?

Ralf Hütter: Yeah, sure, at the end of the seventies. Then we had the experience that Afrika Bambaataa played our song “Metall auf Metall”. I thought, oh, fine, and then more than a quarter of an hour went by and I started wondering, because the song is not that long. Until I realized that he combined it with several record players.

Hauke Schlichting: A live remix with turntables, so to speak...

Ralf Hütter: That must have been in '77.

Hauke Schlichting: Mr Bambaataa is definitely a pioneer as well.

Ralf Hütter: Definitely.

Hauke Schlichting: There are an infinite number of songs nowadays which obviously sampled Kraftwerk. You were once described as "the most sampled artists besides James Brown". Are you annoyed when this happens without being asked?

Ralf Hütter: In the right music it is mental communication. Creative feedback. But if they appear on any “cucumbers” (Translator’s note: Ralf means bad musicians) or purely commercial products, then our publishing house will take action.

Hauke Schlichting: Do you collect your own records? If you want to own all the Kraftwerk records, including all the different pressings, you’d have to collect several thousand.

Ralf Hütter: I think that's materialistic nonsense. It's like collecting beer coastes. That’s totally uninteresting. It's about music, not about some pieces of plastic.

Hauke Schlichting: But they say that you collect old synthesizers.

Ralf Hütter: Our studio has been changing constantly since 1970, there are always new things being wired, installed or programmed. Improved. So often some equipment is put away, first in the warehouse, because you might need them again. At some point they were standing there, nobody wanted them, then they got dusty, then reactivated in the Kling Klang Museum. Ten years later we restored and repaired them all to the latest state of the art. Now we have been asked if we could make them available for an exhibition, but at the moment we can't give them away because they are actually in use. Over the last twenty years, we have transferred all the original Kraftwerk sounds to the digital level. Together with our electrical engineers Fritz Hilpert and Henning Schmitz.

Hauke Schlichting: You used to take a lot of equipment weighing tons with you on tour.

Ralf Hütter: Yes, the Kling Klang Studio is our instrumentarium. It has been like that ever since the first concerts. At that time they were still single instruments or single racks with many cables. Then at some point we assembled them in multi-racks.

Hauke Schlichting: The live equipment was always identical to the studio equipment. Is that still the case now? The things you carry around with you now are much more compact.

Ralf Hütter: Now we play with the virtual Kling Klang Studio with laptops at concerts in real time and mobile. That's why we have been able to travel all over the world since 2002. Today we have complete access to the entire audio-visual show, which also changes a bit from concert to concert. That's what makes it interesting. We no longer have to build it up every day to reach a fixed status, we can work with it live. In the past we were on tour rather reproductively, a lot of things didn't work, that was actually a torture, these concerts back then. That's why we only did one tour, in 1975 ("Autobahn"), then for years almost nothing and in 1981 ("Computerwelt"), when we did another tour, we also used many tapes in addition to my analog sequencer, because our music was actually not playable live at that time.

Hauke Schlichting: The live DVD you’re releasing now gives the illusion that it is the complete recording of one concert. If you take a closer look, you will see that it has been put together from many concerts. Was there no concert that was great from front to back?

Ralf Hütter: We recorded and documented everything. We then selected the recordings based on quality and intensity. That was then put together. That is also our concept of electronic mobility. "Tour de France" should definitely be from Paris, "Autobahn" from Berlin, "Dentaku/calculator" from Tokyo. We had a lot more material available later, but we couldn't put that in. In Santiago de Chile, for example, the audience has the best timing in the world when clapping along. I've never experienced anything that synchronous before.

Hauke Schlichting: When Kraftwerk is in the studio, do you sometimes make music just for fun, just playing around a bit?

Ralf Hütter: We once said that the music composes itself.

Hauke Schlichting: That means constant trying out and jamming around?

Ralf Hütter: That's where we actually come from, we've been doing that since the late sixties. For more than a third of a century we've been walking on the same electronic path. We just try to be open for ideas. They come when you cycle, like “Tour de France”, they come when you drive, like “Autobahn”. Some things also arise from texts, from books, from all kinds of things. We use all mental ideas, we do not work according to one principle. The freedom lies precisely in the fact that all art forms are open to you today. It is a gift that we live in a time where you don't need a large orchestra and where you don't need a nobleman who puts gold ducats at your disposal. Now there is an autonomy that can be realized through the man-machine Kraftwerk.

Hauke Schlichting: Your studio seems a bit like a fortress against the outside world. But you have emphasized several times that you are not isolated at all, that you meet a lot of friends and actually lead a very normal life. But we know relatively little about that. Does that mean that private life is the super important compensation for an artist's life?

Ralf Hütter: No, we see ourselves as scientists, as music workers. We do our work, we drink a cup of coffee in the morning, on weekends we ride our bikes. We go to clubs because the lively scene of electronic music is important to us. And that's where it takes place. We have been connected to club culture since the sixties.

Hauke Schlichting: Does that mean that you now travel more often or specifically to performances by live artists or DJs?

Ralf Hütter: Mostly that happens when we are on the road. If the travel plan allows it, because otherwise it can happen that you can't concentrate at concerts in the evening due to lack of sleep. Working at the screen, with the mouse, they’re very fine movements. Minimal movements with maximum effect on sound and images. Again a mental reference to this work "minimum-maximum".

Hauke Schlichting: Can you imagine working with other musicians?

Ralf Hütter: We already worked together with different musicians, especially with music engineers. For example with François K, with William Orbit, with Etienne de Crécy, with Orbital, with Underground Resistance.

Hauke Schlichting: The revision of your back catalogue is now finished...

Ralf Hütter: Yes, finally. It is also about clarity and now for the first time everything is as it was intended.

Hauke Schlichting: Can you release more albums in the future that way?

Ralf Hütter: Yes, also because the technical development has changed in our favour. We now have the right tools at our disposal, so we don't have to spend so much time on wiring and installation.

Hauke Schlichting: The teen newspaper Bravo quoted you in 1975 with the sentence: "One day they will imitate our music. Could you have imagined back then that this would really happen?

Ralf Hütter: Yes, we thought so at that time. We played the album to them in my old Volkswagen. We had a big loudspeaker in the back, we didn't have the kind of equipment we have today. And then my friend Florian and I drove on the motorway with our poet and painter friend Emil and Bravo. At the beginning of the seventies our music was mostly only played in special radio programmes, e.g. by Winfried Trenkler. Before "Autobahn", Kraftwerk only existed in this art and student scene. And then live, we come from this live music scene. That we now play electronic music all over the world again is something where the circle closes. Now it takes on the shape we imagined in our imagination at the time.

Hauke Schlichting: Thirty years ago you also said: "In twenty years, in our opinion, there will hardly be any groups with guitars and drums any more. For us these instruments belong to the past already today."

Ralf Hütter: Right.

Hauke Schlichting: But that didn't quite come true.

Ralf Hütter: There are many antiques. But that is still true. There are also still symphony orchestras. In our opinion, the thoughts or essence of the present can only be realized with adequate means.

Hauke Schlichting: You have very few concrete political statements in your music...

Ralf Hütter: Rather socio-political, from our everyday life.

Hauke Schlichting: You only find a concrete one in the new version of "Radioactivity".

Ralf Hütter: Yes, we inserted that because there were endless misunderstandings. We simply wanted to clarify these misunderstandings with one word ("Stop").

Hauke Schlichting: Because of the last album the topic of cycling was once again massively brought into the picture...

Ralf Hütter: I had written this lyrics in 1983 with my French friend Maxime Schmidt. Florian was experimenting with sounds at the same time with his first sampler. This resulted in the album concept "Tour de France". At that time we released only that one single under time pressure and then the ideas fell a bit into oblivion. However, this practically slumbered as a film script in a long version in the studio under the heading unfinished projects. And we just finished that now.

Hauke Schlichting: You have been active as cyclists for a very long time...

Ralf Hütter: Yes, since "Mensch-Maschine". The concept of "man-machine" has brought an awareness, from the pure sound field of music a dynamic physicality man-machine has conclusively emerged. We tried that out and the fascination has remained.

Hauke Schlichting: The unity of man and bicycle is still the man-machine.

Ralf Hütter: That's how it is.

Hauke Schlichting: The man-machine motif has always been a dream of mankind. It already existed with the Greeks, it played a major role with the alchemists, in E.T.A. Hoffmann's "Sandman", in the film "Metropolis" - there are countless examples.

Ralf Hütter: That had become reality for us. There was often the misunderstanding of the machine-man, but we were always concerned with man-machines. We are interactively connected with the machines, that has remained so until today, that is actually a synonym for Kraftwerk.

Hauke Schlichting: Was Kurt Schwitters' "Schmidt-Lied" from 1927 the model for the album "Radioaktivität"?

Ralf Hütter: I've never heard it.

Hauke Schlichting: May I quote from it?

Ralf Hütter: Yes, of course!

Hauke Schlichting: "Und wenn die Welten untergehn, / so bleibt die Welle doch bestehn. / Das Radio erzählt euch allen, / was immer neues vorgefallen. / Und funk ich hier ins Mikrofon, / hört man im Weltall jeden Ton. / Und bis in die Unendlichkeit, / erfährt man jede Neuigkeit. / Wir funken bis zum Untergang / ins Weltall kilometerlang." ("And if the worlds go under, / the wave will still exist. / The radio tells you all, / whatever new happened. / And if I radio here into the microphone, / you can hear every sound in space. / And to infinity, / you'll hear every news. / We'll radio until the end / to space for miles and miles."

Ralf Hütter: A spiritual bond!

Hauke Schlichting: It only remains for me to say that we all hope not to have to wait that long and we are looking forward to new material. You will be turning sixty next year, I hope that Kraftwerk will continue to produce music for a very long time and present it live. But if you've been cycling for 25 or 30 years, like you do, then you should probably be fit.

Ralf Hütter: Yes, we are.

Hauke Schlichting: Wonderful, good luck for the future and thank you very much.

#kraftwerk

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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883

1. What kind of textures do you enjoy most in your food? Crunchy, crispy, soft, hard, grainy, slimy, etc? I love chewing on any meal that involves rice. Born and raised with it, can’t feel full without it. I’ll give a special mention to slimy too, because I love seafood.

2. Do you keep up any seasonal decorations outside of their season? No. My mom removes our Christmas decor by late January, which is when Christmas season ends here. We don’t decorate for other holidays.

3. Can you remember the most awkward situation you've ever been in? What happened? Ugh god. Any time I’m left alone with Gab’s dad is bound to be awkward because he’s very quiet and stoic and I tend to be a vibrant, cheery people-pleaser and nothing I do will muster more than two words out of him...but our most awkward moment has to be when I was at their place and he had to leave to run some errands. I stood up and walked over to give him a hug, but for some reason the floor was slippery and I started to do the world’s clumsiest and longest stumble. As an instinct, I held on to his arm and shirt so that I wouldn’t fall flat on my face. It was terrible and nothing I could’ve done or said would’ve saved that situation. EUGH I’m wincing right now lmao

4. Can you remember the most scary situation you've ever been in? What happened? [trigger warning] Would have to be the time when my grandfather got too drunk off his ass that he physically assaulted one of my cousins, then a toddler. My aunt (cousin’s mom) is a little on the delicate and petite side and couldn’t do anything to confront my grandpa, who went on his rage for like 10, 15 minutes. Certainly felt like forever. Nothing has traumatized me more and that’s saying a lot, considering it’s been 13 years and I’ve been through tons of shitty situations.

5. Do you do anything unusual to help you concentrate? It’s not very weird but I did install an extension on my browser that would let me list certain sites (usually social media) I’d want blocked whenever I have work. I suppose not everyone has that kind of program so it kinda counts as unusual.

6. Do you ever wonder what your parents were like as children/teenagers? With my dad, yes. My mom tells me enough stories. I know her family hit a rough patch when she was a teenager and they had to sell a bunch of their stuff, including a grand piano. She went from living a comfortable life to having to skip meals in college because she only had enough money for her daily commute.

7. Do you think suicide is ever "okay?" Groan, this is so triggering. I’m not elaborating on this, soz.

8. Would you rather a close family member/close friend/significant other die of suicide or murder? Why is this? “>> I think having to deal with a murder investigation would be terribly messy and intrusive, and would add more trauma on top of what I’m already dealing with.” < All of this. You don’t always get closure with murders, too. And I would hate that.

9. In your opinion, what is the worst thing someone could ever do? Raping an infant is definitely up there for me.

10. In your opinion, what is the best thing someone could ever do? Be a positive change or impact in someone’s life. Idk, I’m easy to please.

11. Do you think about any fellow xangans outside of xanga? I’ll change the context of this question to Tumblr so I can answer it. And yes I do, sometimes. Not in a creepy way or anything; it usually happens when I encounter something in real life that I know another survey-taker likes.

12. What military installation is the closest to you? Fort Bonifacio.

13. Do you still open your windows during winter? We don’t get winter but yeah, December is the best time to leave the windows open throughout the night. It’s also a great time to be able to save on electricity haha

14. How cold is too cold? How hot is too hot? I’ve lived in a tropical country all my life so I’m a big-ass wimp when it comes to the cold, even though I love it more. I start shivering at around 23ºC. Too hot is anything reaching the 40s.

15. Would you rather lose both legs or both arms? Why? Legs. I use my hands a lot more, so it would be slightly more difficult if I suddenly had to move about without them.

16. If you committed a crime that landed you in prison for the rest of your life, but were given the option to receive the death sentence instead, which would you choose? Why? Death. I get to have the infamous ~last meal~. Lol in all seriousness though, I’d pick it because it would be a quick release for me, I guess. It’s a big reason why I’m not a fan of death penalty...it’s too easy an escape for criminals who deserve a lot worse.

17. Is there any specific album you can listen to in its entirety and enjoy every single song? After Laughter - Paramore

18. Would you rather be a famous movie star, television star, or musician? I don’t have talents that would make me succeed in any of these fields...I guess it’d be fun to be a movie star though.

19. If you are not religious, have you ever eaten dinner with a group of people that were and said grace before eating? How was this for you? If you are religious and say grace before dinner, have you ever eaten dinner with a group of people that weren't and didn't say grace before eating? How was this for you? Yes. I’m from a Catholic family, so we pray before every meal. I do a sign of the cross but barely, just so my mom sees I move my hands when we start the prayer; but I haven’t recited grace since I told myself I was going to be atheist.

20. Do you think an evil Santa or an evil Easter Bunny would make a better villain in a horror movie? I’d go with Evil Santa mostly because I have no attachment to the Easter Bunny whatsoever, and because it’d be hilarious to see a man with reindeer be mean.

21. Did you ever think any fictional story-book character was creepy as a child? Do you still think any of them are creepy? Yes. That girl who wears a ribbon around her neck still gives me the fucking creeps.

22. Would you rather wear nothing but white or nothing but black? Is there any color you'd actually want to wear head-to-toe? Black. I’ve done that many times, so it wouldn’t feel weird.

23. What physical/mental health problems run in your family? Do you have any of the same problems? I’m almost certain there are underlying issues on my mom’s side but seeing as none of us have ever gotten ourselves checked (and most of them don’t believe in mental health problems anyway) I doubt I’ll ever find out what exactly’s wrong.

24. What is your mental and physical health like right now? They are both doing surprisingly well considering how long I’ve had to stay home and how much everything has turned upside down. I’ve only had two bad breakdown in four months and I’ve since recovered from that nasty fever I got, so I can’t complain.

25. If you found a suitcase (with no information about the owner) with a million dollars inside of it , would you turn it into the police or keep it? Be honest. ;] “>> See, a million dollars is an exorbitant sum. There is no way I could just casually make off with a missing million and not suffer repercussions. It's just too much goddamn money, and in this particular scenario, it's highly likely that it's a trap of some sort (whether set for me, or set for someone else and my dumb ass just happened to stumble across it). I'm not dumb enough to try it.

Neither would I necessarily want to turn it in, because that might cause me to get involved in something I didn't want or need to be involved in. The most logical course of action for me would be to leave it the fuck alone.” < Yeup.

26. Would you rather gaze at the stars or clouds? Stars. The fact that they’re so much farther away makes them more fascinating to me.

27. Are they any foods you used to enjoy but no longer like? Are there any foods you used to dislike but now enjoy? There’s a certain brand of frozen sisig that I used to looooove and would have multiple servings of every time I had it. But I had it one too many times and now I can’t even stand the smell of it. On the other hand, I hated chicken curry as a kid, but I can’t get enough of it now.

28. Do you feel much older or younger than you are? Why? Neither. I just feel 22.

29. Did you get along with kids that were older or younger than you? I mostly got along with kids of the same age. I found younger kids too rowdy and being around older kids always felt intimidating.

30. Do you know any magic tricks? Nopes.

31. How much would life suck for you if you had a wheat allergy? A lot.

32. Are you able to watch gory scenes in movies? Why or why not? For sure. I always want to see how far FX artists can go; and if used correctly, gory scenes can be super integral to the movie. Midsommar is a really good example.

33. Do you constantly check the time? Does time seem to move quickly or slowly for you? Not anymore. I used to check it a lot while I was still in school. Sigh, I miss that life so much. Anyway, time definitely felt slower during the first few weeks of the lockdown, but now that I’m used to it days just fly by. I can hardly believe we’re nearly in the middle of July. So much of this year has been wasted. It’s miserable.

34. Would you rather live in a nice house in a bad location, or a less-than-nice house in a great location? I’m taking the great location. I don’t know if I can last living in a shady area, no matter how beautiful my house is.

35. Have you ever been a witness to a horrible crime? What happened? Domestic violence is the worst thing I can think of. I enumerated one of them in one of the earlier questions, but I witnessed several other cases as a kid.

#survey #surveys

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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If you ever had a Myspace, do you actually remember it fizzling out or did it just seem like it was popular one day and not the next? I remember when people started flocking to Facebook and Myspace became more and more dead. I was so confused cause I didn’t get the appeal of Facebook at the time. I wasn’t thrilled about the move.

Do you like a lot of the artists that are proclaimed as the “tough chicks” of music (Pink, Avril Lavigne, Pat Benatar, etc)? I like music from all 3 of the artists you name. Not sure who else is considered to fall into that category.

Do you ever dismiss the possibility of liking a song strictly because of the genre? For instance, have you ever had a conversation like this: “Hey, you should listen to this song.” “What kind of song is it?” “It is a rap song.” “No thanks.” Nah. I like a variety of music and I’m open to at least checking it out. I know people like that, though. Like they refuse to listen to a song if it’s country.

Could/Would you ever be a polygamist? Why or why not? No.

How often do you feel pressured to be better than or different than you are? For example, how often do you feel pressured to be skinner, tanner, prettier, etc? Keep in mind that pressure doesn’t always have to come from others; In fact, we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves. I put a lot of pressure on myself and put myself down constantly. And yet, I don’t do a whole lot to change things...

Do you have acne-prone skin? If so, what products do you use to control it? Not as I’ve gotten older, but I did when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. Now I just get a pimple or two once in awhile.

When you want something that isn’t necessarily healthy for you, do you typically go for something sweet like ice cream, something salty like potato chips, or something else? It depends on my mood, really. Somedays I just want a spoonful of frosting. haha.

Would you rather it snow for three days or rain for a week? I wish it snowed where I live, but since it doesn’t I’ll go with rain for a week. I love when it rains and we don’t get nearly enough in California.

Do you visit/use the shopping website/app called Wanelo? If you do or if you would like to participate anyway, show us one product from Wanelo.com that you wouldn’t mind having. I’ve never heard of that app before.

On average, do you have makeup on more than you have it off or vice versa? I haven’t worn any makeup in almost 3 years.

Do people that are sarcastic often seem to “rub you the wrong way” or can you usually appreciate sarcasm? I can be pretty sarcastic as well, but it can get annoying or even irritating when done ALL the time or how it’s said.

What is one thing that really, really bothers you? People that look for something wrong in literally everything. They twist something good and make it bad. I see it all the time online. Some people just hate on everything and take certain things too serious/literal.

Have you ever changed the look of a survey because you didn’t like the way it was presented? This can even include adding or deleting numbers to the questions. All I do is make the questions bolded and my response right underneath. I don’t like my answer to be bolded and I don’t like there to be a space between the question and answer.

Ke$ha has a new show coming out on MTV. What do you think of her? Is this old? I haven’t heard anything. Anyway, I like a few of her songs.

Vinnie from Jersey Shore has a show coming out too. Will you be watching it? Okay this is old cause I remember when he had his own show, which was back in 2013.

Be honest, have you ever blown off a friend for another friend or a boyfriend? No. I’ve cancelled plans, but not to go hangout with someone else.

Can you actually fathom why some people are against homosexual marriage? If you are against this, feel free to explain. Because they are old-school, closed-minded, and stuck in their ways. They’re scared of change. <<<

Does it bother you when surveys ask questions that Google could answer? Nah.

When is the last time you had a cell phone that wasn’t a smartphone, if ever? Like 2009, I think.

If you have a car, how “fancy” is it? For example, does it have a satellite radio, sunroof, etc? I don’t have my own car. I don’t drive.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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didon · 5 years

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My two cents on this whole Taylor Swift drama

I normally only reserve my rants for tv shows, but I’ve seen enough crap in the last day that I kinda want to add a little to it.

First of all, I’m not a swiftie or whatever her die hard fans call themselves. Do I like some of her music sure, but there are other songs that make me cringe the same way there are things that happened with her that made me dislike her and others where I’m now looking back at and thinking that it was just me wanting to fit in and that it was ‘’cool’’ to hate on her. Cause I think that there really is a movement where you have to hate on successful women because they are not perfect until the point where they are no longer human beings but actual mythological creatures that we must revere or die otherwise (Beyonce and the Bee Hive come to mind). Has Taylor always been right? Nope. It’s that simple, she has done some not so great things and instead of trying to understand them, I just went with the motion of hating her because I thought it made me special (it did not).

Secondly, to the people saying that he didn’t bully her, that it was his client, remind me his job again? Dudebro is a manager. His job is literally to MANAGE people, to make sure that the celebrities he has under his care not only receive the best but are also perceived as great. Seems like him allowing Bieber to post a dig at a woman for no reason and then not issue an apology right after was a bad managing decision because the only thing it did is make him and his clients seem like pissy little boys that can’t take people not agreeing with him. Him allowing Kanye (because tell me how he could not have vetoed that whole video that I’ll talk about later) to show someone that he knew Kanye had a troubled relationship with naked WITHOUT that person permission is a bad management decision. Especially since it could have led to more than one lawsuits toward his client. I feel like a manager normally tries to avoid his clients getting sued. So either he allowed her to be bullied by his clients and probably had his own hand in it or he’s shitty as his job and should not be allowed to manage anybody. Because it has to be one or the other, there is no third options where he didn’t advise his clients not to do bad things and had no knowledge of it. If anything, he could have at the very least if that was the case wrote his own appology for being in Bieber instagram. No instead he chose to stay silent, giving his approval toward it and to keep people that were attacking a female celebrity for pissy reasons as clients.

Thirdly, concerning the whole Bieber thing. Dude has to stop talking. He is not someone that can truly speak having grown up being influenced by Dudebro. Didn’t he sign Bieber when he was still a minor and everything? And yet he allowed him to make a fool of himself more than once, to be agressive toward more than one person knowing that it could cost sales. Dudebro was both a bad manager and a bad friend toward Bieber. Bieber who seems to act as if a lot of his fanbase isn’t young influencable girls that he is pushing toward not only bad decisions like bullying someone else because the friend of a friend doesn’t like them and also supporting people that are homophobic. Because let’s remember that for a long time (and I think still now but I’m not 100% sure), Bieber was friend with this pastor who was known for being homophobic. You can’t call someone coming at your friend a bully, but then have one of your close friend be someone telling others that something they have no choice in makes them bad, evil in some cases and that the one person that is supposed to love them (I’m talking about God here for the Catholics) hates them. How many queer people are we going to lose to suicide because they are constantly told by some biggots that God hate them, that they are going against everything that is good, that they shouldn’t be allowed near children, etc.? And no saying that just because you attend his congregation and hang out with him doesn’t mean you don’t agree with him. This isn’t the same as someone prefering strawberry milk over chocolate milk, this is someone spewing hate to who not only are you giving a platform by being near them (because yes it does), but are listening to. How many young teens are going to see that guy and go ‘’hey Bieber follow him so maybe he’s right’’? When you chose to be a celebrity, yes it means that you lose part of your privacy, but it also means that you should be obligated to lend your voice to those who aren’t listened to. Taylor Swift did that with her letter against homophobia, with her video and her support of queer artists. Bieber does that by giving a biggot relevance and then getting mad when his ‘’friends’’ are called out on their bad behaviours.

Fourtly, the whole Kardashian/Kanye thing. I can’t believe it’s 2019 and it has to be addressed but it is NEVER okay to showcase somebody else’s naked body even if it’s for ‘’Art’’ without their permission. His video was not only revenge porn, it’s an attack on her. Revenge porn is mostly defined as sharing private pictures of someone. This isn’t the case. She didn’t send his a naked wax art of her body. As far as I’m concerned, this is straight up violating her privacy and her body. And not only hers but the one of everybody else included in that video. Sure he probably has the signed statement from his wife saying it was okay, but does he has the one from every single other person? Also stating where their wax double would be placed? Because I’m pretty sure that Rihanna wouldn’t have said yes to her body being exploited by a man and placed next to someone who’s biggest relevance is the fact that he ABUSED her. It’d be the same as a celebrity asking fans to stop drawing porn of them and then getting backlash from their fans because they believe that they own that celebrity body. Your body is your own and no egomaniac should be allowed to have a naked wax statue made of it and put it in his video. Speaking of videos, Kim’s one is void. Not only is it clear that the video has been edited, but it was ILLEGAL!! A court would not take it as proof of anything just based on this alone. This is the same as a cop breaking and entering to get proof to arrest someone because a warrant takes too long and he’s sleeping with the other suspect. I don’t care if she actually agreed to one line and not the other or whatever. The whole video is void and should never be mentionned because it’s something illegal that again violated someone’s privacy which a celebrity should really know about. Especially Kim. The whole claim that Kanye made Taylor famous is ridiculous too. Bitch didn’t make her famous, he made an ass of himself. She became famous with her own hard work and good strategy (something her manager might have a hand into). What he did at that award show was just stealing a moment from a woman because he was prissy he didn’t get his way. There’s a reason why Beyonce gave the stage to Taylor and that everybody got mad at him. He took a young woman achievement and try to ruin it because it wasn’t what he wanted. That shows clear immaturity and if anything it made him more famous that it made her. She wasn’t known as Kanye’s victim, she was known as a singer while he was known as the guy that made an ass of himself and ruined a 20 years old big moment. I don’t care who deserved the award more or if he was right, nobody else does it and for a good reason. I may not have always have agreed with award winners, but you haven’t seen anybody stopping Matthew McConaughey speach saying sorry to interrupt but Chiwetel Ejiofor had one of the best performance ever. It’s almost like his manager should have stopped him from making a fool of himself.

Fiftly, just a little mention for Demi Lovato that came to Dudebro defence. Girl is coming out of a very emotional situation, is probably not 100% okay yet so don’t send her hate. Plus, she has known him about two months and he makes money off her so he has probably not been a dick to her. Her entire defence may even have his hand in it since people around her may be employed by his company. I almost killed myself over a year ago and I know that I’m still very emotional and that people can still have a big influence on me depending on how I’m feeling. I can’t imagine being around people that may not have your best interest 24h/7. On her claim that he is not homophobic because he signed her though, I will say that she can’t refute somebody’s experience with the man simply based on her own especially since she’s a famous artist that probably brings him a lot of money. Plus, while she’s a queer woman that consider herself fluid (and good for her tbh), it doesn’t mean that she has the same experience as a gay person. She has (mostly) dated men in the recent years and biphobic people will use it as an excuse to say that while she is ‘’fluid’’ she’s mostly straight (which is bull, but that might be how they see her in her mind). She can’t come at a gay man and say that because she’s also queer, the man cannot be a bigot toward anybody in the queer community. Heck, queer people in the queer community are bigots toward other members. How often do we hear transphobia or biphobia coming from queer people? The answer is too often. Especially black queer people who are often erased from their own history (*cough* stonewall and camp *cough*)! My own father was super friendly toward a trans tennant he had, calling her by her name and the right pronouns like it was nothing, only using her deadname on the official papers since it wasn’t officially changed, but to me he told me that if I came out as trans he would kick me out because I am his daughter not his son. If you asked that woman than yeah my dad is a great ally, but she wouldn’t know how he interacts with other queer people including his own daughter.

Finally, on the whole master thing. Shut up. She wrote the songs so I don’t care who owns the right right now or if they gave her a chance to ‘’buy’’ them back. This is her own work. When Devianart started selling artists art without their consent because they ‘’owned’’ it, how many people did I see on this website calling for a boycott? How many people were pissed and swore that it was horrible and that no artist should ever lose the right to their own art? Well, it’s exactly the same for her. Yes even for those songs of hers I hate. She put her time, her effort in them and so they should be hers. The idea that some white dudebro has right over them is ridiculous. The fact that he will own her feelings, a part of her soul should be upsetting especially since one of his artist already violated her body by showing it naked without her consent. I would be furious if I was raped and a friend of my rapist got the right to some of my writing. Heck, I would probably be a lot more agressive than she was in that post. The fact that she managed to stay polite and calm is a miracle if you ask me. Especially since he will be making money of a video that his friend and client didn’t even deem good enough to win an award!! Cause let’s remember that as cringy as it might be to look back at how we were all obsessed with some of her music video (god knows I was even though I would have never admitted it at the time), a man representing someone who put her down for one of them is going to make money off them.

This is in no way acceptable and I encourage people to raise their voices against this and to keep those boys (because they are not men let’s be honest) accountable for their actions. Cause when Kesha needed help getting away from her rapist, Taylor Swift gave it to her and no matter how famous you are, you deserve to have people stand up for you. I’m not saying send hate, but keep holding men accountable for their shitty behaviours and for the creepy thing they say about women. We are not their objects, they do not own us in any way and we need to unite to stop them disrespecting us!! No matter your feeling on Taylor Swift and her music or her previous actions, this is something hateful that’s happening to her and women need to stand up and support each other! We own it to each other!!

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redheadpromotions-blog · 5 years

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Make Your Music Performance Memorable through Independent Promotional Services

Introduction

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trainthief · 6 years

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Hey I was wondering if you'd ever consider doing like a top 20 fav classical music albums or composers list or something. Obviously if that just sounds stressful disregard this but I know you are like, into classical music & I grew up with my parents playing it & recently got, like, into the classical station but aside from like 3 artists I like I don't know where to start & I like your blog and would be interested in hearing about like, your taste

Sorry for responding to this so late, I’ve had a real week and I wanted to make sure I had time to put some thought into answering this ask. I’d definitely love to help, I always like recc’ing classical stuff to people! The idea of 20 absolute all time favorites is a difficult one for me because I love so much stuff and it’s really difficult to compare like… Caroline Shaw’s modern experimental chorale stuff to Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos. Anyway, instead I will give you some full length pieces in different styles that I think are great for new listeners, and explain a little about what each one is doing and what I love about it, and some more pieces I recommend if you enjoy what you’re hearing. Hopefully that will help!

In no particular order:

Appalachian Spring by Copland: Let’s just get this one out of the way up front. If you’ve been following me for any amount of time at all, you know I’m deeply in love with Copland. He essentially invented the American compositional style by adding jazz elements to the established practices, which caused an absolute uproar at the beginning of his career as people then considered it an unholy mix of high and low culture. He doubled down on this concept when he wrote “Fanfare For The Common Man” which essentially stands as a celebration of the working class and those who couldn’t afford to see the symphony anyway. He was, I should also note, both gay and Jewish. A real icon. Anyhow, although I love so much of his work and could go on forever, I consider listening to Appalachian Spring in its entirety a spiritual experience, no exaggeration. Take it on a hike, listen to it while you look at the trees and think about whatever crosses your mind, and by the time the Coda hits you… well I personally can’t tell you what experience to have, but I feel for a second like I can see and be seen. Anyway, aside from that, just good music, very pretty. If you’d like similar music that incorporated jazz effectively into classical work, I’d of course recommend another favorite of mine: Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin.

Russian Easter Festival by Rimsky-Korsakov: As a general rule of thumb, Russian composers are ALWAYS good for some drama. This piece in particular is great because it’s not only fanfare and excitement, there’s a touch of pastoral calmness that I really love (more on that as a concept later) at the beginning, but we still get plenty of wildness. There’s a frantic octave part the violins play around minute 5 that always makes me want to scream. If you like this, I’d also recommend checking out Rimsky-Korsakov’s Capriccio Espagnol. The man knows how to write sexy.

Romance in D by Berkey: I recommend this partially because it’s a lesser known and very beautiful piece, and also because it’s a good lead-in to a whole subset of classical called Furniture Music. Essentially called that - originally by the composer Satie - because it’s nice to put on in the background. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still fun to listen to, and from a compositional and performance standpoint it can still be very impressive. But it’s just good and calming and you could certainly sip tea to it in the restaurant area of a ritzy 1920’s hotel while you read a novel and ignore your rich husband asking if you’d like any marmalade. A good example of the same effect is the soundtrack to Phantom Thread. It’s also good for studying. If you like that conceptually, I’ve got a whole playlist here.

Pictures at an Exhibition by Mussorgsky: A really excellent intro to classical and one of my favorite works, AND like the last one, also a lead-in to an informal format. Pictures was written with the idea that each song was a separate painting that the listener could imagine they were looking at in a museum. For that reason, each one has a different style and personality, and feels very descriptive and exciting. A collection of small related pieces is called a suite, but I haven’t yet been able to find a technical name for that specific kind of storytelling structure within a suite. It’s not uncommon though, and in that same vein I’d also recommend The Planets by Holst (about the planets, as you might assume), and Carnival of the Animals by Saint Saens (about… yeah you get it).

Spem in Alium by Tallis: We’re taking a wild left turn now and veering into the Christian choral tradition dating back to the 1500s. Like anyone else who isn’t even a Christian, there’s a few things about Catholicism that I’m obsessed with. Namely the hymns and the stained glass. Focusing only on the hymns, Tallis is one of the best examples of polyphonic hymnal work. Polyphonic, essentially, means that the different voices in the piece are moving around each other and will frequently change their notes in a way that will compliment - but is not necessarily in line with - the direction of the piece as a whole. It makes more sense if you just listen. The style, however, was developed in an attempt to capture the idea of the stars and planets circling each other in their own independent orbits, because at the time people had just started to turn their gaze to the sky for answers about their own lives. Aside from that very cool background, I just find the really human side of the choir format in particular paired with the elevation of music being this untouchable but powerful thing paired with the holiness of the concept paired with how awesome the acoustics of a chapel can be…. It’s just a lot. If you like this I’d also recommend Miserere Mei by Allegri, Ave Maris Stella by Dufay, and O Magnum Mysterium by Lauridsen

Peter Grimes by Britten: Classical music is so rooted in every musical tradition, and visa versa, that it’s almost impossible to separate it conceptually from a lot of genres. Technically, “classical” refers to a period of time more than it does a genre anyway, but let’s not get pretentious about it. While we’re pushing the boundaries of what can and can’t be included in this list, let’s talk Opera, and specifically Peter Grimes. When asked to describe it, Britten said it was “a subject very close to my heart—the struggle of the individual against the masses. The more vicious the society, the more vicious the individual.” More specifically the struggle was an allegory for gay oppression, and ironically Britten wrote the lead role with his lifelong partner Peter Pears - an opera singer - in mind. To give a taste without giving too much away, the Prologue establishes that Grimes, a fisherman, is being questioned over the death of his apprentice. The townspeople are all convinced before the questioning even begins that he must have done it, but the coroner decides the death was accidental. Grimes is let free and advised not to get another apprentice, but he of course ignores this…. If the vocal side of opera doesn’t do it for you, there are 4 Sea Interludes from this work that are really great independently. If you want even more opera with even more drama, I’d recommend looking at Tosca or Turandot both by Pucccini. If you think classic opera is too high brow and you want something a little sillier, try Mozart’s Magic Flute. If you want something more new age and weird, try listening to Two Boys by Muhly or selections from Einstein on the Beach by Glass (but probably not all 5 hours, Knee Play 5 and Spaceship would be my top 2).

Symphony No. 6 “Pastoral” by Beethoven: I mentioned earlier when describing the Russian Easter Festival that I love a piece with pastoral calmness. Getting back to that point, I haven’t ever seen one word that’s commonly used to describe this particular sense in a piece, but I personally call it a Pastoral after Beethoven’s 6th. In general, the symphony is one of my favorites as a composer and listener, especially given that it’s really just about taking a walk in nature which is one of only 3 themes music should have anyway in my opinion. A good amount of my music is written with this feeling in mind. Aside from all that context, the first movement in particular is very nice, passionate but not sensational, and is just about being excited to be outside. Nothing wrong with that. This subset of music is probably the most informal of all the ones I’ve listed so far, but if you’d like more “Pastorals,” or pieces that have a nice calm passion to them, I’d also highly recommend Enigma Variations: Nimrod by Elgar, Fantasia on a Theme of Tallis by Vaughan Williams, Once Upon A Time In America by Morricone, Musica Celestis by Kernis, and of course again Appalachian Spring by Copland. (I would also be legally sent to jail if I didn’t mention that while we’re on the subject of Beethoven, his 9th Symphony is generally considered one of the greatest achievements in classical music).

Rite of Spring by Stravinsky: A lot of these pieces have been good jumping off points into different musical concepts, but with this one I’m sticking my description to the initial piece itself. I got the chance to email with a composer I admire and he at one point described composition not in the sense of writing something “smart”, but in writing something “detailed”. The Rite of Spring is a really great example of detailed composition. It’s extremely experimental with its time changes - essentially the way that you should be counting your notes as a musician constantly changes and always into a pattern that’s difficult to keep track of - and also with its chord structure. The music itself can be jarring and odd to listen to but the composition wasn’t random and when studied shows an obsessive elbows-deep involvement in the work that I really admire. It might not surprise you to hear, however, that at the initial performance the audience was so furious that the lighting technician had to continually flash the lights to confuse them, out of fear of a riot. If you’d like something a bit more fun to listen to by the same composer, however, Firebird is a good one. And if you’d like another great piece that was completely booed off the stage at its premier, I’d recommend Grand Pianola by Adams.

Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev: While we’re in the general vicinity of ballet, I should get into that deeper. Ballets can have some of the most fun music to listen to because the timing is required to be so much more specific. Romeo and Juliet is a lot of fun, particularly the “Montagues and Capulets” and “Masks” sections. Another great ballet is, of course, The Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky. I’d also recommend Don Quixote by Minkus, and Rodeo by Copland…. I know I know

Violin Concerto in D by Tchaikovsky: I said Russians bring the drama, and it’s doubly so when it’s a gay Russian. This piece is a classic example of the solo concerto format, which is a staple of classical as a whole. The setup is a single player on whatever instrument the piece is written for accompanied by an orchestra, and is usually a showcase of technical skill by the soloist. This one in particular is basically THE turning point in a violinist’s studies and just about every violinist learns it as soon as they’re capable of taking it on. Personally I still vividly remember when my teacher finally gave it to me, it’s a very specific sense of accomplishment. Similar examples of the solo concerto format on different instruments would be Piano Concerto in F by Rachmaninoff, and Oboe Concerto in C by Mozart, both of which I absolutely love.

The Revd Mustard His Installation Prelude by Muhly: I’ve gone on forever so I’m trying to be quick. Nico Muhly is one of my favorite modern composers and Revd Mustard combines his classic ecstatic and constantly moving style with an organ, which I’m a sucker for. Contemporary classical in his style can be difficult to listen to because it’s gotten very experimental and as a result, very complicated. But if you don’t go into it with the expectation that you’re going to hear a structured and logical Mozart-like piece and you instead surrender your opinion until the whole thing has come together for you, it can be really interesting at the very least. As a side note, Nico has collaborated with Sufjan, Bjork, Jonsi, Teitur…. lots of people. You’ve certainly heard him before even if you didn’t know it. For more classical from the last few decades I’d recommend Partita for 8 Singers by Shaw, Tissue No. 7 by Glass, Different Trains by Reich, the Red Violin Concerto by Corigliano (especially because I just saw it live a few days ago and am still reeling), Perpetuum Mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra, and Cantus in Memoriam Benjamin Britten by Part. Each of which is vastly different, stylistically speaking, but all of which I really love. And for more organ listen to one of my favorite pieces of all time, Symphony 3 by Saint Saens.

Ok, you know what? I’m cutting myself off because I’ve gone on forever. If you haven’t been put off of asking me questions entirely by now, please feel free if you want even more recommendations in a specific style, or want to know more about something you enjoy. Clearly I love talking about this. Hope that helped!

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5questions · 5 years

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Joselia Hughes

Joselia "Jo" Hughes is a Black 1.5-generation Cuban-Jamaican-Guyanese-American writer and artist from the Bronx. She lives with Sickle Cell Disease (HBSC) and ADHD.

Where did you find the 3rd grade poem? How did you decide to include it? What other collage or found art/poetry do you like?

The 3rd grade poem was from a collection of student works, Witch’s Brew, released by my grammar school, Horace Mann. I have two issues from 2nd and 3rd grades. Both of my works were quartered in the “Fantasy” section. There was another section called “Feelings” and, I think, The Sky more accurately suggests a feeling. Scratch that: it explicitly discusses a feeling. This misidentification by academic administration/curatorial staff (which doubles as a political demonstration) is telling. I think it explains a lot about the root confusion between what I have felt/feel to know as Experientially True versus what I’m told to know as The Truth. When considering the emotional and material lives of Black femmes, we must remember Black femmes have been historically disallowed, disavowed and dispossessed of creative virtuosity. Too often, we are strapped in the monolith of stereotyped caricature dictated by the manifested destiny written into commandments/constitution of misogynoir. Black femme virtuosity is reappropriated, regesticulated and worn like some earned bloody body wisdom by the Opps (Oppressive Forces). While I didn’t have those terms as a child, I experienced the consequences of misogynoir in conjunction with dis/ableism and classism, which aren’t separate entities but necessary vices that amplify asphyxiation. Is disabled Black femme loneliness only permissible when classified as fantasy? That shit don’t sit right in my spirit. I also used the poem because the title is Witch’s Brew and my zine, Heartbeats But No Air (HBNA), is a kind of exorcism. A few years ago, I pieced together that my maternal grandmother was a covertly practicing Bruja. With the widening reclamation of ancestral wisdom by BIPOC, in an effort to decolonize our existences, I was tapping into that tender tendon of wisdom.

Understanding my grandmother’s practice reminded me that she wanted to name me Darthula Verbena (daughter of God, enchanting and medicinal). I started referring to myself as DV, my pre-name, and inspected my childhood. That’s been a remarkable endeavor. I had to teach myself to play again. Through play, I learned how to feel. Learning feeling meant learning the qualitative and quantitative nature of the labyrinth of my thoughts. Once I learned some of the turns of the labyrinth, I could feel to know how to navigate the terrain without fear and engage in the rigorous study that’s always characterized my central self. Play is a code switch. I often think of code switching as a means to subvert/refigure power differentials. To hide in plain sight by retooling “seeing” to perception/sensing. How much are we perceiving/sensing? How often do we mean perception/sensing yet default to “sight”? Perception/Sensing adds dimensionality that isn’t always articulated with and through “sight” and “seeing”. Ralph Ellison’s identification of “lower frequencies” and J. Halberstam’s configurations of Low Theory do this work. I toy with these multiplicities in the zine. I work low to the ground which means I work close to my heartbeat, my central drum. I work meta; I go beyond. I like to sprinkle codes, tickle clues, tuck in questions, sew in wisdoms so I know what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, who I’m doing it for and to always remember the fun of FLiP (Feeling, Learning, iPlaying).

Some of the works/folks who’ve helped me FLiP are Dana Robinson’s meditative and piercing collages; Zulie’s mind bending, heart wrenching, time suspending zines; Nikki Wallschlaeger’s I HATE TELLING YOU HOW I REALLY FEEL; Seth Graham’s tattoo practice/paintings/unbounded love of outer space (they’ve done 3/4 of my tattoos); Amanda Glassman’s razor sharp poetry and encyclopedic curiosity; L’Rain's music has literally helped me scale the side of a mountain and carried me through hospitalizations; KT PE Benito’s multidisciplinary liberation praxis and collaborative friendship; Zoraida Ingles' holistic creative prowess (a conversation with her is why Heartbeats But No Air, as a title, exists); and Marcus Scott Williams’ writings/video/sculpture work that readily embraces the persistence of ephemera. This isn’t an exhaustive list—I have a solid library of books and papers and zines and tunes at my crib—but, genuinely, I’m inspired by everyone I’ve had the honor to encounter.

There are themes of love and race and beauty and culture and self-transformation in this book. Paired randomly, some pieces may not make as much common sense together, but as a whole, it feels powerful and cohesive. What was the structuring process like for this chapbook? Each zine is different, right?

It is one zine. I find it cool that you consider HBNA a chapbook made up of many zines. The word chapbook had never crossed my mind. I walked into the process with DIY zine logic and HBNA was printed using office photocopiers. I think the feeling of cohesion you mention is what happens when you witness a lot of parts of one person. In this case, you’re witnessing a lot of different parts of me, my thoughts, my actual labor. Whole is the goal ‘cuz people are whole. I am whole. I consider HBNA a single revolution of myself— one big twirl around a fire, a sun. I was in a very strange place. I’d alleviated, with the help of acupuncture and CBD products, a significant amount of the chronic pain I’d been experiencing since August 2014. I fell around love with someone and rose in love to myself (thanks Ms. Morrison and Ms. Stanford!). I was in an unfamiliar painless trance. I created and tinkered with all of those pieces during a very short period of time from Summer 2017 to Summer 2018. HBNA was originally named Girl Pickney (the prose pieces were written under that moniker) and before that NggrGrl (a nod to Dick Gregory). I wrote the poetry in an even shorter period of time—March to July 2018—and the poems are actually part of a full length collection that I wrote in those four months. I didn’t decide on the layout of the zine until I was with two friends formatting it for printing two days before I was going to read at The Strand and sell it. I kept all the pages, the puzzle pieces, in a folder. A lot of book structuring, for me, is based on emotional knowing—when to slap, when to pound, when to breathe, when to confuse, when to stun, when to anger, when to tell, when to soothe. All of my structuring decisions are fly about to get swatted dead but fast enuf to fly away first intuitive. If I’m channeling that intuition, I know I’m in running in the proper heat and lane.

You were in an MFA program at one point. How does this chapbook contrast with your style from before that program and during that program? Did that program have an effect on your writing? This doesn’t feel like the most MFA-y writing, which is why I ask, and which I mean as a compliment.

I’ve attended a few schools. I’ve completed fewer than I’ve attended. Until my late 20s, I was shy and desperate for people, those noun-verbs, to stay. This desire for people to stay meant I spent an inordinate about of time and energy relegating the difficult parts of myself to the margins of the margins and continually stepped into social/academic shoes that did not fit. HBNA was the first fitting of the bespoke shoes I can now emotionally afford to make. The first copies I sold had typos! I misspelled my own pre-name and that’s exactly what I needed to happen. It needed it to happen because I’m full of mistakes and yet! I try! I understand HBNA as a radical refutation of embarrassment. Depending on when you purchased a copy, you’ll see I used white-out to make a few corrections. No two zines are the same; only 80 copies exist. I’m printing 12 more copies (they’ve already been claimed) and then on to new pastures! The zine was printed in three different places (two offices I don’t work in and a local printing shop) and I was lugging around 800 individual sheets of paper that I stapled, numbered, indexed and decorated with stickers by myself…standing barefoot on the carpet of Staples in Co-Op City, listening to Ryo Fukui’s Early Summer on repeat until I finished and then I jetted to the Strand to read. HBNA was how I knew to embody my physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual labor. I’m a goofball with zany ideas, an indifference to external definitions of relevancy, sickled cells and a lot of chaotically grounding love. I write for myself first. Of the school lessons I did receive and learn, there weren’t many I didn’t later disassemble to rebuild, freak unfamiliar or completely misunderstand. J. Halberstam calls this “failing”. Rejigging failure has been such a gift to me. How wonderful! A failure AND still happening? Fuck yeah! I was a wildly uneven student whose knees buckled at mere thought of rigid academic authority. After years of shame and refusal, I can finally admit I am an autodidact. I intentionally get lost and navigate in and to the direction of my own senses. School didn’t teach me to write for myself and that’s who I always have to write for. If that’s selfish, so be it. I am my first audience. If I’m sus of me, then me and myself got foundational problems. I know my writing is non-institutional and that lack of institutional alignment and support, while scary as shit, pushes me to make and take risks to believe beyond the immediate demands/plans/remands of whatever external force I am facing. My writing is constantly colliding into A New I can’t predict. I’m fully committed to unfolding, unraveling, for curiosity’s sake.

What’s a typical day like for you?

My day to day life is as predictable as it is unpredictable. I am formally unemployed and have been for awhile. I live on very little cash and am kept afloat because my mom is a gem and hasn’t kicked me out. My days are 100% influenced by the weather and I spend a good portion of my time negotiating how to minimize the occurrence of vaso-occlusive crises and other complications from the disease I have, Sickle Cell. Between January 2018 and January 2019, I was hospitalized three times. Each hospitalization was about a week long and recovery took significantly longer.

Here’s a sketch of what I call a really great day: I wake up before 10. If the night’s sleep was especially restorative, I can comfortably rise at 8. Depending on how my body feels, depending on how much pain I’m enduring, how much fatigue is shrouding/clouding my faculties, I decide if I have the energy to take a shower. I do the bathroom routine, get a cup of orange juice and take my medications (Endari, sometimes Adderall, Folic Acid). I use the first hours of wakefulness to connect with loved ones via text-phonecalls-DMs and browse the internet for headlines-news-updates-new smiles. I wear my fits comfortable. I call comfort my uniform—upend normcore to body sensible—sweatpants/leggings, pullover, one earring (although I’m leaning to pairs again), handy dandy baseball cap and sneakers. I keep it simple. If the weather is aight—if it isn’t too cold or too hot and if precipitation is mostly at bay and air quality isn’t extremely poor—I go outside and get some living exercise. When able, I take extremely long walks. Once I walked over 50 miles in a week! It’s my preferred form of meditation. Walking/body movement grounds my ADHD symptoms more effectively than stimulants, strengthens my body for potential Sickle Cell episodes and satiates my unyielding need to feel connected to other people. I’m at my best when outside and happening. Illness can create an inescapable interiority. Inside reminds me of the hospital and my relationship with the hospital is, at best, fraught. Walking allows me to follow myself. I engage in peek-a-boo with babies, witness accidents, smile at strangers, duck the eyes of leering people and learn how to love differently too. I go to playgrounds and swing. I take photos and notes. If I’ve got a lil cash, I ride the subway for fun. I poke into shops, admire graffiti and other street signs. I have one woman dance parties on sidewalks. I rest on park benches and read. I pick up grub from hole in the wall spots—you know—I live my life and embrace as much as I can while centering kindness and gentle flow. The walks are my favorite part of my job, which I do not have. When I return home, I rest then get to crafting which I sometimes call spelling. Crafting/Spelling can be anything from adding to my I-Box, spitting verses from the abstract (poetry), spinning short stories, detailing journal entries, doodling, painting, knitting, researching & studying, dancing & stretching, bugging out on Twitter or reading. My bedroom is my studio so I work small yet widely. I intentionally provide myself with many targets so I can a) keep my thoughts and feelings flowing b) find the connections between all of my actions and c) mitigate the stress that sits in the heart of a lone project. I am a multifaceted, multifauceted being. Why not turn on all the taps?

The more long form prose pieces in here have the feel of nice punch-y flash fiction. Are you writing a fiction collection without poems and collage in it? I want to read that, too :)

Hahaha! You’re onto me! Yeah, I am writing another book of poems, a manifesto zine and a collection of fiction. I’ve been writing a collection of fiction since 2012. I had a lot of the difficultly writing the fiction because I was too attached to the title, the characters I conceived needed to grow up with me, and I experienced many years of unremitting and improperly managed mental and physical illness. I was holding onto and telling lies. The shame woven into those lies kept me silent and scared. All of that shit needed to get integrated or dropped. I couldn’t enter the prose/fiction I’m currently writing without learning how to survive myself and the world and bottom-belly-believe in survival too. I’m getting there— healing with primary, secondary and tertiary intentions. Won’t say much about the fiction pieces of than: ~15 stories, lyrically speculative fiction, capital B Black, disabled, and queerfemme parables of creation and destruction and maintenance. My website is in flux but I do readings and performances. Hit me up on Instagram , Twitter or email me at [email protected]. Might take a minute for me to respond because I’m thoughtful yet questionably organized. Now go play, ya’ll!

Unintentionally wrote a poem in the interview. I call it A.B.B in Lieu of A.B.C

beyond

fly, about to get swatted dead but fast enuf to fly away first,

always believe beyond

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veegreenekissed-blog · 5 years

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A Jaded Introduction:

I have been very apprehensive about beginning a true blog. By this I mean to say, in the past I did simpler versions like small paragraph entries on a couple of sites, profiles, and message boards while I was still in school. None of these showed all of my true self as this blog shall. So be ready for what comes next in this latest venture in my life. Its beginning has been long awaited, overthought, and over planned (without any accomplishment of any said planning). I need to just fucking do it. Get over being scared something bad will happen.

There are too many reasons to go over right now as to why I have felt nervous, anxious, and somewhat fearful of finally putting something, anything onto my page. I am a fucking amazing procrastinator! I have been putting this off for at least 5 fucking years now. Oh, and yes I curse a lot, so if you don’t like that, you will need to deal with that or find an insanely more conservative page (which will likely be hard to do).

Typically artists of any form have broken filters that we do patch up a bit for events like family occasions and such. These patches are like duct tape on a leaky pipe. Shit still dribbles out and you only have so much time before that tape just peels right off. And, letting alcohol enter that pipe will make the tape peel faster.

……………………………………………………

The main blog profiles from my past often had to do with the support of others enduring forms of depression, and most often the disorders and side effects that come with it. After a while, I realized certain entries of healing supporters were at times, unfortunately, a trigger for myself.

I do not know how I would react to them now but perhaps there is a reason as to why I could not, even less than a month later of my stopping them, remember any of my profile names, username emails, passwords, etc. For more these sites I used a special new email address and to this day I cannot tell you what it was.

I suppose this was possibly myself protecting me from what I knew was a trigger, what was even an encouragement. Though supportive in nature, sometimes certain lows others had reached, seemed more like achievements I never came close to. I know, terrible to say, but another motive to help explain depression and its side effects. Have them be realized as diseases, disorders, issues, and more for a reason, which is more often to help others understand them.

……………………………………………………..

Anyways, I should announce a few things about myself....

I am a major animal lover/advocate, a feminist, a major homebody, a person majorly attached to family (though I do have my many secrets from all the world as you will come to understand), a person that has lived most of my young life with the “trifecta” (allergies, asthma, skin issues – mine being eczema), a person that is by definition mentally “fucked up” due to both natural and situational causes of depression and the like, a person on meds for that depression and its side effects, a person who has/had the many side effects, disorders, issues that come with depression, including many relapses (no one’s perfect here), a person who is a victim of multiple sexual assaults, and the list goes on just as it would with many of you.

My one difference that I may have from you is that I am a writer. I need to constantly spew my words or I will explode. These explosions piss others like no other. For many reasons, when I do explode and send lots of words to places, I seem and I think possible am on the verge of manic craze. Attending college made this more difficult after it ruined my writing (obviously I am healing from this being able to begin a blog). Moving to an area that I have always loved but where good therapists are hard to come by also has not helped. My psychiatrist though is the best one I have ever come to have known, so there’s a point for my glass half full.

I also unlike most my age (stereotypical millennials) do not fake being a true lover of culture, art, history, and things that make us real and existing (not including the many, many moments of people being the shitty, disappointing pricks they/we usually are). I can interact and find conversation with any age group due to my love of culture (45 year-old moms love when they can report back to their kids that they met a twenty-something that didn’t at the time know you can send private messages on Instagram, and that was a mind blowing discovery for me by the way).

Though I do not keep up with all the latest fucking fads out there that pop up like new spam in your inbox, I do typically need just 20 minutes to learn the ins and outs of the new piece of tech in question. When I sit down and actually put an attempt into learning whatever shit it is, I usually become quite adept. It’s the sitting and attempting part that gets me, the necessary motivation needed to strike just does not often arrive or sometimes ever arrive.

I love puzzles and trivia so I hate to give up when I am attempting something. It’s a weird determination factor, I know, but it seems to help me out a decent amount when called for. Otherwise, yes, I irate those with my need for Jeopardy-like quizzing. It is one of the very few things I become truly competitive with. Another is foosball.

I’m pretty sure there’s a numerous amount of dudes out there that think of me as that vodka game girl who was weird as fuck, telling their friends how I wanted to play more games instead of finding a place to do some hooking up (which was and still is because I typically need to be drunk in order to do more than a make out and a hand job, just how it is, thanks to other dudes/your peers).

……………………………………………

Oh and heads up, I’ve been told I speak about shit that has happened in the past too often and have apparently considered myself a victim for too long. These are the same people that vent about the same boyfriend and other friend drama for years straight. I still listen.

So, fuck not speaking about what has happened to you in the past! Those scars are there forever. They piss me off and I would like a way to fucking vent without bothering people that tell me they care about me. More about that shit later….

I apologize if my age old scars put major dampers when they come up in conversation but they’re there and lasting.

……………………………………………….

My agenda with this blog is to tell the truth. Including truths that people do not often want to hear. I want to ramble and vent and if anyone out there wants to read my words, hopefully feel something, please do, and perhaps we won’t feel so alone.

XO babes, Jaded Vee

#blog #assault #depression #eatingdisorder #therapy #sex #fuckedup #truth #animals #rape #scars #jadedtruth #jadedlip #veegreenekissed #veegreene

#blog assault depression eatingdisorder therapy sex fuckedup truth animals rape scars jadedtruth jadedlip veegreenekissed veegreene

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imnoexpertblog · 5 years

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Here's some stuff to do and listen to.

7/20/18

Are you ready to receive some suggestions to entertain your fine selves? ‘Cause I’m ready to give it.

For those who are local: My dad and brother run NYFO together for Green Bay. What’s NYFO? WELL. “NYFO 7on7 Football is the next generation of player development, no matter your skill set. NYFO is the NATIONAL GOVERNING BODY for 7on7 & Non-contact Football. Our leagues, camps, and training exist to ultimately transition better, safer, and more fundamentally sound knowledgeable players. NYFO is committed to helping every player in our program improve no matter their skill level. By doing so we will ultimately enhance the sport of football, from youth organizations through the NFL. NYFO is ‘Non-Contact’ For parents, ‘non-contact’ can be translated into ‘one-hand touch.’ Without the distraction of full-contact, players can focus on fundamentals. With so much negative media attention given to concussions and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), 7on7 offers parents a safer alternative for kids wanting to play football.” Quick additional info: They offer programs for age groups 8U, 10U, 13U, 15U, and 18U. Go to their website if you’re interested in signing your kids up! Okay but anyway, if you need something to do this Friday you should go to a Bullfrogs baseball game! Bullfrogs “Stars Of Tomorrow” fundraiser family & friend tickets are $18 and include your ticket (duh), a Bullfrogs hat, a hot dog, AND a soda! A damn steal if you ask me. It helps out NYFO and you’ll have something fun to do! All registered players from NYFO get in free with and a portion of the proceeds from family/friends tickets sales going to the NYFO by simply using code “NYFO7on7” at the point of purchase. Go to greenbaybullfrogs.com, click Buy Tickets Now in the top right corner, and enter the promo code (NYFO7on7). Gates open at 6:05pm and the game is at 7:05pm! See you at the diamond on July 20th! Give them a follow on Instagram! @greenbay.nyfo

I never really blog about music for how passionate I am about it. I have mentioned before that I sing, too. I’d love music even if I couldn’t sing though. Anyway, everyone loves finding new music, right? I’m gonna tell you my most listened to artists and songs on my Spotify. First, I’ll tell you how I found this data. I found this question forum on this link: https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-way-to-see-my-most-played-artists-songs-in-Spotify. You’ll see in the answer that there’s Spotify.Me or there’s ManageMyMusic to see your most listened to stuff. Spotify.Me is intricate and gives you information like your favorites, streaming habits, and listening insights. Apparently, what I listen to the most is considered to be a bunch of different types of “pop.” I don’t know if I agree with that. They also tell me that “I know what I want” because 84% of my favorite artists are within my most-listened to genre. That I can agree with. It says I’m high energy lately in my streaming choices, but I don’t see it. I have been choosing really chill music, in my opinion. The other link in that question/answer forum is called ManageMyMusic and it gives you a ton of lists; Top artists and tracks for the “Short Term (4 weeks),” the “Medium Term (6 months),” and for the “Long Term (Years).” I’ll give you my top ten for each category, though I know there will be overlapping. I obviously love everything I am about to include so please give this stuff a listen. You’re about to get an intimate peek at my soul.

Top artists -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jon Bellion

Drake

Milky Chance

Hozier

Andrew Belle

Bazzi

Aaron Carter

Roy Woods

dvsn

Troy Sivan

I didn’t realize that I listened to that much Jon Bellion lately. I mean, he is fantastic. I just didn’t realize I listened to so much of him in the last month.

Top artists -- Medium Term (6 months)

Drake

Blackbear

Tory Lanez

Marc E. Bassy

Jon Bellion

Bazzi

Post Malone

Hozier

Aaron Carter

Sam Smith

I can say for DAMN SURE that Baby has heavily influenced who I listened to these past 6 months. Drake has always been my man but I never listened to Blackbear, Tory Lanez, or Marc E. Bassy before I met him.

Top artists -- Long Term (years)

Drake

Sam Smith

Troye Sivan

Andrew Belle

Justin Bieber

Jon Bellion

The Weeknd

Jessie Ware

Hozier

Tove Lo

None of that even remotely surprises me.

Top tracks -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jessie Ware, You & I (Forever)

Hozier, Jackie and Wilson

Sabrina Claudio, Orion's Belt

Jon Bellion, Overwhelming

Jon Bellion, 2 Rocking Chairs

Vance Joy, Mess Is Mine

The 1975, Somebody Else

Jon Bellion, The Good In Me

JAHKOY, Still In Love

Young the Giant, Cough Syrup

This is all very "me" lately.

Top tracks -- Medium Term (6 months)

Alina Baraz, Show Me

6LACK, Learn Ya

Tory Lanez, I Sip

Blackbear, moodz (feat. 24hrs)

Marc E. Bassy, 4am

Tory Lanez, Skrt Skrt

Ansel Elgort, Supernova

Bazzi, Mine

Post Malone, Psycho (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

R I T U A L, Better By Now

This list is definitely Baby-approved.

Top tracks -- Long Term (years)

Justin Bieber, The Feeling

Troye Sivan, WILD

ZAYN, PILLOWTALK

Snakehips, All My Friends

Tatiana Manaois, Helplessly

Bryson Tiller, Don't

Chris Stapleton, Tennessee Whiskey

Sam Smith, Not In That Way

Hozier, Work Song

A R I Z O N A, Let Me Touch Your Fire

Honestly, the first 5 tracks do surprise me a little, but that was back when I had my music on constantly when I was single and home alone quite often. I remember keeping those on repeat for hours at times, so I’m not sure how accurate that actually is only because of that fact. This was all super cool to see, though. Some of it was expected, some unexpected. Either way, I hope I gave you some new stuff to listen to! And you should check out for own profiles. Nice opportunity to learn a little about yourself.

This past weekend, it was pretty warm out. Baby and I wanted to get Nugget a sprinkler so I took the little one with me to the store aaaaand they were sold out. Due to all the warmth. So I bought Nugget some water guns instead. We got 2 smaller ones and 2 larger ones for THIRTEEN DOLLARS, TOTAL. YEAH. This s’mom was shocked by that price, that’s for sure. We played and sprayed when we got home. Baby and Nugget had some fun together. The first thing Nugget did when we filled his gun though was spray me right in the (get ready) vagina. Yes. Then he yells, “I’M SPRAYING YOU IN THE PARTS.” I was like, “Uhhhhh, let’s not spray anyone’s parts and also let’s talk about anyone’s parts. It’s not polite and those are private” LOL. He’s never said anything to me about private parts or anything so that was new to me. He walks into my room when I’m changing a fair amount of the time and I know for a fact he’s seen more than I meant him to, but he has never asked questions, pointed anything out, etc. I think it’s important to set an example for your children in the sense to be comfortable with their bodies and such. This might be a whole new chapter with Nugget! We will see. Enough about my “parts” and back to the water guns. Baby said that on one of the weeks that we don’t have Nugget, that he wants to do a water gun race with me. I got 2 free beach balls from Sprint when I got a new phone last week (among a ton of other free shit, which I'll tell y'all about soon) and Baby said we should see whoever can get the beach ball across our backyard the fastest by spraying them with the water guns. I honestly think that sounds more fun than any idea I've ever had LOL. It reminds me of when I almost bought us both Nerf guns. So, if things are little mundane (or even if they’re not) maybe you and your love should find your inner children together! Get water-balloons and have a water-balloon fight, chalk up your driveway, set up obstacle courses, have a scavenger hunt! You can make it interesting by making fun deals. Whoever loses has to make dinner, for example. I think we will try all of these ideas eventually.

Speaking of shopping with Nugget, I am in the process of teaching him about not asking for toys every time we go. Baby went through a break up after a 3 year relationship before we was with me. He told me that he felt awful that Nugget no longer had two people raising him and Baby made up for that by buying Nugget toys every time they went to the store. I could tell there was a reason why Nugget would ask like clockwork what toy he would get every time we went shopping. I have been working on breaking Nugget of that expectation, as well as working on having him appreciate the things he has at home. I explain to him Daddy and I only have a certain amount of dollars and that its usually only enough to buy what we needed from the store in the first place. He actually understands this concept very well. He always asks why we are going to the store, so I always have the opportunity to tell him what we need to buy. When we went to buy the sprinkler he asked me, "Can we get a toy from here?" and I replied with, "Buddy, remember what we came here for?" He answered correctly about buying a sprinkler. I said in a very positive tone, "Yep and I'm pretty sure we only have enough dollars for a sprinkler. And you also have a bunch of toys at home that you love to play with." We walked by a few things that piqued his interest. As we walked by some bubble-guns, he goes, "Oooh, those look fun. But we only have dollars to get the sprinkler." I was so proud of him for making this connection and also proud of myself for explaining it to him so that he really does understand this. I was raised by people who didn't explain things. It was always a "because I said so" type of world and I learned to accept it. I won't put Nugget in that world, though. I want him to recognize reasoning and be able to grasp why things are the way they are. He is incredibly intelligent and capable of knowing this information. I also want him to trust me and be honest with me as we grow together, so the first step is me trusting him and being honest with him first. Just wanted to share my super proud s'mom moment of the week. I'll be back tomorrow with new recipes for you!

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 6 years

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Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Spain to Eurovision with whole lotta fun

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Dare I say Operación Triunfo is a little bit of... a Choice?

I mean, you got yourself a format that a bunch of young-aged/teen/late-teen aged droolies follow for the drama more than the music, at least that’s what I suppose it is because it’s one of those singing reality shows where you’re oh so very welcome to follow the lives of all the 20-somethings that were unfortunate to sign the contract of the show, not being able to read all the fine-prints in the contract and later regretting not doing so because things like Eurovision. In Israel. But more on that later.

But this is Espain, and this is the sad state of television that is today - if they like your shitty talent show with 24/7 followship of the contestants, and if they watch that, and if they eat that with a spoonful, chances are you’re going to prolong its post-mortem revival state in order to maaaaaybe attract a new audience and acquire a new shippable couple people will vote “a Eurovisión”. Even if your last couple sucked. And even managed to break up unceremoniously sometime before the 2019 show’s Eurovision final <3 god bless them for finally breaking the chain and breaking the hearts of thousands who were ‘dying’ for the ship. It was never EVER meant to last.

So is it a no surprise that Operación went thriving for another year? Certaintly at least it’s no joy to bear with another amount of subpar desperates from every other corner of Spain, but only because Spain deserves a better NF format. I mean, with these other NF formats we can at least have a variety of artists with their own (or composed by others) songs, and it doesn’t matter an inch whether the public’s big fave gets rigged out to me - as long as it’s just a NF I can get easily over with, it’s all fine to me! And of course OT is also fine for me, it’s just that people are begging for it to get axed for some reason. Maybe because of all the ships?

I don’t want to put too much more thought of what happened in the reality show other than the Eurovision Gala, BUT I seemed to notice something rather crazy. You see, at first we had Natalia (or was it Alba Reche or Sabela even?) heavily speculated as the winner pre-show, but in the end the OT glory was all handed to some Dutch-born boy of Nigerian origin named... Famous. Not shitting you, it is his name. But what’s the saddest part about this? Famous CLEARLY wanted it all to himself just because of Eurovision being included in the contract. Yet his only victory in life is being the best among the rest of these stars that were watched over 24/7. Unfortunately, Mr. Oberogo couldn’t make this out to be in his favour in the Eurovision-special gala, to which the “triunfitos” can attend if they have songs chosen for them in the lineup, and yes he was admitted, but then he was given a SUCH DISAPPOINTING SONG EHMERGERD!!!!!!!! :’(

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(lol calm yer ladyhormones, “No puedo mas” wasn’t THAT bad, it’s just that given Famous did songs like “Nobody but You” (yes THAT one) on the show, you’d expect something contemporary soulful, not just blatant radio filler that could have easily been an EYD reject?)

So how did it all happen that the girls were rooted for to win OT, but in the end the one that wanted Eurovision the most won? And how come the one that wanted the Eurovision the most was given a song that paled in comparison to that one song that was performed by someone who was blatantly against going to ESC because “nuuuuu Israel stop hurting Palestine” and that one being favoured to win? AND HOW COME ONE OF THE BIGGEST SHOW’S VILLAINS GOT HANDED ABSOLUTE SLAYAGE OF THE SONGS?? Honestly it’s for the best if Spain is just there to subdue everyone’s expectations, just like they did when choosing Manel (be it because of a corrupt juror or whatever). They did it every single turn of the time this year during OT’s run.

And of course I’ll forever love them for that, as the end result was AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING FIESTA BANGER. Courtesy of Miki (Núñez).

Ngl, the first thing I went in for about “La venda” before listening to it was through this first impression tweet on Miki’s ‘eliminated’ song from the selection, “El equilibrio”:

BITCH HOW WAS SHE NOT READY TO SEE THAT COMING AT HER.

Granted, the sudden start of happy sounds rushing right at me was a little startling, but I was able to cope with it and jam to the song in the end.

I completely adore this one, it’s so powerfully joyful with all its instruments and the Spanish language, the interesting turn of events in lyrics, the incredibly easy probability to sing along to this (LO QUE EEEEERE! LO QUE ERE ERE E!), the authenticity, the cultural roots (tbqh Eurovision countries should be welcome to embrace their culture rather than stray further away from it! also this is why more native languages other than English are encouraged)... mmm-mmm.

And like I said, for some reason Miki was seen as a grand villain to the show, and even if I didn’t follow OT all that much, I was constantly questioning why, and after seeing him eliminated I only wanted to know if people in Espain were rejoicing about it. The against-agenda turned up onto him again when he happened to have the most songs in the internet selection bunch handed to him (THREE!!! Two solo tracks and a duet.), but nothing there was to worry, as instead other favourites were discovered, therefore Miki ended up in the dust for a while. Up until something happened that got him a big surge of votes at the end. Go figure.

Despite all this, I think it’s the right direction for Spain songwise! Me gusta mucho, and not only personally, but also objectively, honestly. Miki’s got a right enough good song for the nation and provided the revamp doesn’t make it crash and burn (yes, the good friend of a Eurovision song - the revamp! It’s happening), it’s safe to say that Spain can stand a chance. Not win, for now, but stand a chance. Yes.

Before I repeat myself some more I’d probably have to add this part for no reason as it came from my Twitter review for “La venda” this time, as I heard songs 1 day before the NF as when I expected the NF to go on Saturday but it was on a Sunday:

BITCH HOW WAS I WRONG. Well mostly thanks to the fact the fanwank-ess of OT ESC Gala actively asked to direct her votes to Miki’s song (Monika Marija teas amirite), but still, WRONG!

Now that I finally composed my thoughts I guess, let’s all go and read the below verdict I’m putting this up for:

Approval factor: I’m giving this a big fat SÍ!

Follow-up factor: Of course I like it way better than “Tu canciYAWN”, there’s no doubt in it :) and after Almaia’s romance advertisement they’re doing a great job by coming back to their great Spanish roots of music, honestly. And it’s better that way than forcing a ship onto a Eurovision 2018 ship, so yeah

Big 5 factor: As of this time Spain lowkey fizzled out with everyone now that a big wave of other faves arised, BUT I don’t think that Spain’s drowning in misery this year, not at all! With right kind of energy of the staging and uplift Spain can totally woo them televoters this time around, making them “lo que ere” their worries away to the sunset. And this is a positive thing - as if juries decide to drown this sometimes and televoters don’t, it will still soar somewhere up high enough in top 15.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Now, I don’t quite think this year’s OT was quite as memetic as I expected, but we still have had some pre-NF gems, just like this:

• “THEN POLKA”. That one moment was also brought up to her on her OT Eurovision Gala postcard.

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• and this one contestant’s gloriously accidental butt-shot

Though we did have a handful of these kind of moments on the Gala itself (and surrounding it), such as:

• NF’s biggest favourite to win songwise not even trying. Yes, there are those NF winners which underperform but only because they don’t seem to know better, but did you know that there are THOSE like María Villar who decide against it? Basically, she was one of those opposing against the situation in Israel with Palestine, so out of protest towards all this, she voluntarily went against doing Eurovision in a nation like this by encouraging her fans to vote for Miki the night before and sacrificing any slightest grains of trying with her performance - by barely dancing on stage and not outselling anything vocally. And it worked to some extent, as she came SECOND only, and shortly after Miki won, she spoke out loud that she was satisfied to not have become the victor (I mean she just thanked everyone for not voting her to ESC lol). But you know what, for situations like these I really do love ESC NFs - where everything predictable is upturned by some sort of events like these. I mean, I like "Muérdeme", it’s catchy, Latino-appealing enough (for those whores thirsty for Luis Fonsi and similar fucks who sing in Spanish on English songs these days), has a cool breakdown and what not, but it would just probably bring back another disappointing result from Eurovision much to fans’ dismay, especially if the Tel Aviv (oh wait sorry... for Maria’s case this would have probably been Limassol or Vienna) edition was to bring many bops for this time around that are BIGGER and BETTER than this one. It’s just happening that it’s unfortunate to be Spain...

• Yet again, putting Famous up on here, but of course he was disappointed to not get that win. I know I’m not the right person to judge considering I’m WHOLE THREE DAYS YOUNGER than him, but I’d still tell him he only had RTVE to blame for giving him THAT in the end and putting him through online voting rounds... and speaking of:

• Like I mentioned before several times, there was an online voting round for to pick-pocket the songs that sounded the best out of the demo-ic snippets of a minute or less. Its top 3 was of course dominated by ladies and their own bangers/just likeable enough songs, with poor Famous being 4th in it (and the top 3 is a must on there to be automatically admitted to the show without any higher-ups shuffling the other competitors ‘round later on and toying with their fates). I liked the complete final cut of the Gala for the most part, but boy did they miss out some, like this male laidback-acoustic pop bop “Sale”, courtesy of Damion Frost. I can at least forgive the loss of “El equilibrio”, but this? Nah siree. And yeah I know this whole shtick is a tire, but I like some of it, and I saw a worse track from the same shtick collection qualifying through higher-ups and that’s NOT boding well with me.

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(yes of course Manel happened but still)

• Miki joining the glorious wall of epic NF victory reactions with his O face of total cartooney awkwardness <3

• and Eleni Foureira being able to rock a trashbag as a dress during her guest performance of both “Fuego” and her ‘new’ ‘smash’ hit in partially more Spanish than “Fuego” was - “Tómame”. Granted the juxtapose transition was a little too jarring, but hey - 2 songs for a price of 1. Go get them Spanish audience people acknowledging your pop art Elli <3 (also her chitchat with the ESC Gala host about what do you need to do good in Eurovision <3)

At this point I’m too not fucked to remember more of them but I’m really sure I missed a lot of the OT lulziness that happened before the Gala, during and after it (such as Natalia (who also sang one song in the NF with Miki himself) not wanting ESC but still trying better than Maria). I don’t want to be reminded of them, as my review’s as long as it is. But I’m sure someone else remembers, so I’ll let them judge.

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #spain 2019 #miki núñez #la venda #spain

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all-the-kookies-fall · 6 years

Text

A THEORY: Linear Timeline of reputation

This is going to be a very long read; but it may just include unlocking the 15 Taylor's from the LWYMMD MV so read on if you dare…

(OK it totally includes the theory, please read and tell me what you think!)

An Introduction:

I've been a casual fan of Taylor Swift since she started. Loved all her radio singles, listened to her albums (at my leisure upon release), and admired her platform and brand image. I guess I became a huge fan after 1989, but around the release of reputation, I realized just how much this woman's music has been there throughout my life and decided to fully stan her. As I fell down the rabbit hole of learning everything I could about TS as an artist, I became completely enamored with her wits & charms. However, the more I learned to love about her, the more I could feel just a slight inauthenticity; I was constantly thinking of the hypocrisy of how she "never names who her songs about" yet she created this scavenger hunt with her liner notes that seemed to point in an obvious direction of one of her "ex-boyfriends." It didn't align with how she presented herself in every other aspect. Then, I felldowntherabbithole for real and found all of the incredibly documented and organized realm of the Kaylor's, and everything was literally in screaming color.

reputation made even more sense with fresh Kaylor eyes and once I read this Taylor Swift quote:

reputation, in my mind, is an album that is very linear in it’s timeline. Meaning that it kind of starts out where I was when I first started making the record. The album ends more where I am now in my life. So this is more towards the end of the album, it’s called ‘Call It What You Want.’

my mind became OBSESSED with cracking this code. I had combed through all the kaylor blogs and while I had read everything I could, I still couldn't place it within any timeline. Then, Delicate came out and the code started to crack; I could peek inside and make sense of something, but was still unsure what it was. I put together a loose concept which had some plot holes, but it was when I remembered to revisit the 15 Taylor theory that everything completely revealed itself.

I would like to start with a disclaimer: I have never, ever actively participated more than lurking or even posted anything on Tumblr. I would like to fully acknowledge that there is a huge, fat chance none of this makes sense to anyone but me, but my husband was really getting fed up with me talking about it and I just needed to share. THANK YOUS to the Kaylor blogs I frequented with incredible analysis and POV of Tay in the media and her music- @all-my-possessions @howyougetthenerd @jennyboom21 @karlitakloss @kaydar @kaylorrepdetective @larrienation @out-of-the-klosset @paradisekisses @tallcurlygirl @taytaysbeard @that-curly-haired-lesbian @thoseflashinggreeneyes @whaler13bg to name a few. (Sorry, tumblr is not letting me tag a few of you.)

A lot of the information I am providing is not new and connects the dots from the amazing posts from this community. I tried as best as I could to cite all relevant posts - you can definitely let me know if I've made any errors. Please feel free to edit//contribute//comment because I have a feeling that a more seasoned eye would be able to expound on so many more clues and easter eggs!

Let the Games Begin!

Overall Concept/Themes

There are truly some insightful analysis of the overarching themes and concepts of the album already. Secrecy, partners in crime, forbidden love… In general there's a complex theme of Duality to the album; conflicting feelings, Brand vs Self, bad vs good, truth vs reputation etc. I think it's most important to note is that any analysis that views these tracks differently than listed below, can still be correct. Our Queen is a lyrical master plus there's that added layer of intentional dualities in her story telling; there's always at least 3 different meanings to her songs and that's one of the reasons we admire her wordsmith ways.

The Timeline!!!

…Ready For It? - So It Goes… 2012* - 2014

This has long been inferred in every side of the fandom to indicate this is Part 1 of the Story, implied by the ellipses as the beginning and end of the track names. All the timelines I've previously read started at either the introduction of 1989 or even later beginning with 2016/2017 events, but it didn't make sense applied to the album as a whole. Once Delicate MV came out, I began to notice that all of the nods to RED in all these MV's were not just for nostalgia. She is literally telling us that this part of the story was about the end of RED era leading into 1989 - not quite 1989 era just yet. ;)

*2012 is an estimate based on the beginning of the Delicate video; it's possible that TS & KK met before Swiftgron was officially over but who will ever know? Karlie's buzz cut was December 2011 (x). The first half of the album is difficult to theorize specific dates within this period because we really have no idea when KK & TS met.

LWYMMD - New Year's Day 2014 - 2017 (NYD)

I gotta tell you - immediately after reading this, go watch LWYMMD. It was (is?) literally hiding there in plain sight; it's a GENIUS video walking you through EXACTLY what she did (you could say from a satirical standpoint more how the media/GP thought she did) to prepare for this era! When she refers to the "Old Taylor," she's using the term in the exact way her fans have been using: to refer to Country Taylor. She is officially Pop; Look What We Made Her Do when RED, a pop-country album, "a patchwork of songs," didn't win the Grammy. She went full POP princess. This post in particular helped me remember that these songs are not fresh in regards to her life even though they are brand new to us. Part 2 of the story more clearly follows the events of the 1989 era through just before rep's release.

Track by Track // 15 Taylors

…Ready For It? Intro

I believe this is an introduction of what's to come, an overview of the story. Yes, she's definitely asking herself if she's ready to come out of the closet (x/x), if Karlie is ready to glass closet (x), is her beard ready for the consequences(x), and most specifically, are we, her fans, the GP, are we ready for her to come out and live her truth unapologetically? It's her laying the groundwork to prepare for 1989; her literally coming up with the concept for the whole era which is why we see the references to her 1989 MV's in the glass room. This post cites the connection to the Dykes on Bikes; are we ready to accept Taylor to not only come out, but be a strong voice and activist of the LGBTQ+ community?

End Game April 2013 - June 2014

I KNOW Taylor is singing to KK about them first meeting - and I KNOW we think they just met before VSFS 2013 (even though there are rumors that say they met sooner…) But, hear me out because this lines up way too easily with the information we get from the MV (x/x). Remind yourself… Who opened for Taylor's RED tour? That’s right, our favorite ginger. It's a nice additional nod with the callback of Everything Has Changed duet with Ed Sheeran. Miami (shoutout to my hometown even though I have no inkling to its significance) tour dates were 04/10/13, London was 02/01/14 (Did she really show us their first NYE together?!), and Tokyo was 06/01/14.

Irrelevant now but important for later (LWYMMD): And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put ‘em. This post highlights a cool interpretation of the line that applies to this whole post!

I’ve been doing some digging to try and somehow link Miami in this mix, and this is pure speculation but I feel like Future represents her bearding with Harry Styles. Karlie’s “buzz cut” was in December 2012, and shortly thereafter she was in Miami for a photo shoot. 1/4/12 marks the official break up of Haylor in the US Virgin Islands… it’s a stretch and I’m totally grasping at straws but they are geographically close and it’s all I got for now.

"Me, I was a robber first time that (s)he saw me…"

I Did Something Bad early 2013

So, I have to admit… IDSB and DBM were the two songs I was having the most trouble placing within the linear timeline; my initial thought was this must have been a metaphor for her confessing her "sins" a.k.a. bearding, to Karlie when they first started dating. This was the song that clicked once I looked through the lenses of the 15 Taylors and reaffirmed my thoughts with the visuals of this Taylor on the cross in LWYMMD. In digging a little deeper, I found a Vanity Fair article - one of the only cover stories found online about TS during 2013. I'm not as confident about my perspective on the linear timeline with this track, however I feel like it's a good start especially considering the next holy church track.

In regards to the "light me up" lyric, and clear visual reference in the …RFI MV as well as the crucifixion of Taylor in LWYMMD, I thought this answer she gave the 73 Questions With Taylor Swift | Vogue video was also interesting to note. The question was what is the one thing she wishes she would have known at age 19 (8:03)?

"Hey, you're going to date just like a normal 20-something should be allowed to, but you're going to be a national lightning rod for slut-shaming."

I'll leave this quote from the April 2013 Vanity Fair interview right here:

"But nobody calls them the kinds of names that get thrown at Swift. “They’re ‘playboys,’ ” Swift says wryly. “They’re ‘having fun.’ ”

By the way, in the Vanity Fair article there's an "authorized source" giving insight to what "really happened" to Haylor aka probably lies.

Every lie I tell them, they tell me three

Don't Blame Me early - mid 2014

I can really only hypothesize through the lyrics and the Taylor line up that this may be a reference to how the RED "media" circus (as quoted from the VF article cited above) literally made her do crazy things - maybe how her past experiences had caused her to react a certain way in an undefined relationship, maybe how the media circus in general had her guarding her heart, and of course the religious context of the song leads me to believe of course it is connected in that aspect to the confessing of her actions in the previous track. Big Sur trip also falls within this timeline. (x/x/x)

I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy…

Delicate 2013 - 2014

I think this one has so many beautiful analysis with the music video that syncs perfectly with this time line with no need for additional explanation, and I think it's especially apparent why this Taylor represents TraKK 5 in the line up. (x/x)

It's interesting that Fearless Taylor and Red Taylor were the ones actually fighting on Taylor Mountain in the LWYMMD MV; this may be a reference to her insecurities and headspace during the RED media circus//break up anxieties fighting contrasting to her want to just dance in her best dress Fearless with KK with no inhibitions.

Dancing in my best dress, fearless

LWYMMD End of 2014

Has anyone noticed the crows in the beginning? It literally hit me as I was finishing this post - a group of crows is called a murder.

We see her Driving a new Maserati (well, car with significant meaning) down a dead end street and then crashes into the pole. (x) She literally killed the "Old Taylor" to get the Grammy - as well as set up clever disguises as red herrings* so that we missed the most obvious clue that this is about the release of 1989. I think even cleverer, how she walks away from the crash unscathed at the end of the MV to imply she rose up from the dead, she does it all the time (with each era release). (x/x/x/x)

*Red herring: something, especially a clue, that is or is intended to be misleading or distracting. In reference to the post regarding hatchets in End Game, she's definitely sending us on the hunt… remember that post above I asked you to note?

Then of course another hint to the timeline is in the lyrics and MV (look at the date of the tweet...)

I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined

So It Goes… October/November 2014

This was definitely the most challenging to figure out, but there's definitely two clear ideas that are represented here - the linear timeline alludes to the HOT KINKY SEX our girls probably had after VSFS '14 (x/x/x) and the death of her 'innocence.' Coincidentally, I had read Slaughterhouse Five for the first time earlier last year and lurking around the Reddit TS community where they spent so much time trying to figure out how they could circle this back to Vonnegut. Unluckily for them, it is the most heteronormative//homophobic community where even Kaylor posts are censored/deleted/ridiculed etc so they weren't ever going to get it. This song represents a toxic relationship with CH in their eyes, and I can see that perspective… another Salute to the American Queen of Wordplay.

Anyway, here is a quote from a NY Times (https://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/18/books/review/and-so-it-goes.html)

That is, the constant repetition of “So it goes” makes readers ask themselves about the meaning of death (or its lack of meaning) and the incalculable human costs of war.

The 2009 VMA's Taylor is the epitome of everything her art, brand and music spoke to prior to 1989; and with the Pop princess she was no longer the relatable girl next door. She had gone full big-city, celebrity friends, glitz and glam - feeling so Gatsby for that whole year. With 1989, represented by the LWYMMD music video, that image was shattered, it was the death of her reputation but the true beginning of laying the groundwork for her and KK's future and she truly felt alive.

Not to mention a song about kinky sex is a huge step away from that image.

So it goes...

And so it goes, now Part 1 of our story is done.

Gorgeous Met Ball 2015

Part 2 moves into the 1989 era starting with the Met Gala. (x/x) I read a great analysis using the lyrics to prove why this song is not about someone you just met because of the intense conflicting feelings. (I have scoured Tumblr to find it and link it but can't rediscover it… sorry I explained I've been a noob and a lurker and I never liked or reblogged anything, I'll update with a link if I ever find it again!) That made me reevaluate my original thoughts of this track being Enchanted 2.0 and representing her meeting Karlie for the first time. This was the first public event Kaylor attended together; it must have been strong conflicting feelings of joy & giddiness of the relationship quickly overtaken by nerves, fear, and anger that she would be found out and/or couldn’t show any outward PDA towards KK at the event. I would imagine there was a lot of drinking that night to cope, thus the “drunk” perspective.

PS she probably didn’t go home alone that night (DING)😉

'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

Getaway Car May - August 2016

There are great analysis looking at this song from two main POV's- 1. the bearding CH-TH circus(x/x) and 2. a reflection of Swiftgron in hindsight (x). For the sake of the timeline/15 taylor line up, it was too coincidental that this was the Taylor snapping at the beards in I <3 TS shirts and from that perspective, fits perfectly into the linear timeline. It is suspect that TS went against her management in anger of how the "break up" with CH unfolded, and so it would make sense to be a little apologetic towards TH -- the one beard aftermath she may have regretted but that is just pure speculation.

And a circus ain't a love story, and now we're both sorry

*I JUST NOTICED! She POPS HER LEG for the 7th boyfriend in line - AKA CH. She is SO EXTRA!

King of My Heart August 2016

The below quote and Taylor line up don't need further explanation.

"I think it’s very interesting when people talk about their love stories. Like when you guys blog about, “my and my husband, me and my boyfriend” or just anyone talking about how they fell in love.

There seem to be these very definitive phases. It doesn’t matter how long that phase lasts. There seems to be a moment where you know it transitioned to the next phase. People will be like, “Oh my God, we were friends for six years and there was this moment and we knew and then it changed. Then there was a moment and it got even deeper. Then there was a moment and we knew” or like “I saw this person and there was this moment and we knew.” Everyone has a different story with how they connect with someone else and what i find interesting is the moment where it switches. You always hope that switch is going to move forward and not backwards because it can happen either way. I always wanted to structure the song where each individual section of the song sounded like a move forward in the relationship but still being listenable. So I wanted the verse to seem like it’s own phase of a relationship, the pre-chorus to sound like it’s own phase of a relationship, and the chorus to sound like it’s own phase of a relationship. I wanted them to all have their own identity but seem like they were getting deeper and more fast paced as the song went on. So finally I was able to achieve that in a song.”

Here’s a couple of my favorite analysis regarding this song. (x/x)

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Dancing With Our Hands Tied Mid - End 2016

This analysis really explains the lyrics and matches the allusion of the Zombie Taylor to make it seem like it is a hindsight song about Swiftgron; however Out of the Woods is the last MV of 1989 era released the end of 2015 (aside from New Romantics your video) and this can perhaps be expressing the death of Taylor’s 1989 reputation after the slew of public feuds. It can also be interpreted as a hindsight song in regards to Kissgate in 12/2014(x/x); how she had found herself coming into 1989, but was a zombie version of that because she had to beard with CH and TH and it perhaps made her feel dead inside. Maybe she’s implying that she would have just taken the fall from grace then put herself through another (particularly long and grueling) fake relationship.

I had a bad feeling

Dress October 2016

Not only is Dress pretty frequently analysed, it's also the most obvious and blatant within the theory. I thought it was very cute that this was represented by the Ballerina in the line up as a not so subtle nod to Karlie. October 2016 was the infamous Golden Tattoos at Drake's birthday party. (x/x/x)

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo.

Sorry I couldn’t help myself with this gif :P

TIWWCHNT November 2016

Originally, I thought this was the easiest one- yes, the Snake Queen is sipping and serving tea on her infamous feuds however it just didn't fit in the more transparent timeline of the second half. There's been a few posts that hint the track may be a slight diss to her fans. Once it hit me she was alluding to herself as our (the fans) American *dream* Queen, I realized: this song is not a slight diss - it is harshly directed to us, all of us. Hear me out: Just like KOMH is about a love that reflects back on different periods in life, this track also calls to a couple different conflicts with the relationship of TS and her fans. She's never enough for either aspect of the fandom.

I thought it was curious that she would have the "ET TU BRUTE" (x) as a reference to Kanye because let's be honest, she probably never trusted him after 2009 and rightfully so. "Et tu, Brute?" is a Shakespeare reference and a phrase that is now used to describe a friend stabbing you in the back. This would be more applicable to us, her fans. V1:

It was so nice throwing big parties

Jumping to the pool from the balcony

Everyone swimming in a champagne sea

And there are no rules when you show up here

Bass beat rattling the chandelier

Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year

This easily refers to 12/2014 - Kissgate. Feeling so gatsby for that whole year; throwing big parties. She had to close the gate before she was outed prematurely by the fans watching her during the concert. We were the last ones she ever expected having to protect herself from; she had been so open, glass-closeting, but the fans took it too far and crossed the line of her privacy. She was surprised by the network that had expanded to track her every move. A couple years pass, V2:

It was so nice being friends again

There I was giving you a second chance

Think back to the election of 2016; Taylor being back in the media and more open again with her life wasn't enough at this point. America had reached a boiling point and everyone had to pick a side; even Taylor's most dedicated fans were constantly expressing their disappointment at her so she changed her priorities and went into hiding.

As @paradisekisses once posted, “Not everything is about Kanye.”

Salute to you, our American Queen of Red Herrings

Because you break them, I had to take them away.

Call It What You Want End of 2016

The lyrics all harken to 1989 (x) and this is when her reputation has never been worse (again), but she’s stronger this time and it didn’t break her as much as post RED era. Not to mention, she’s madly in love and found her end game so nothing else really matters to her; her priorities have been shifted and she knows what truly matters in her life.

Call her what you want, she is Karlie's Partner in Crime. it's an obvious call to the gold cage, hostage to my feelings; she will jail herself once more with this ((hopefully)) last beard and that will be the official death of (2.0? 6.0?) Old Taylor. The best part is the BTS video showing how much fun she was actually having in the gold cage. There are beautiful analysis of this song (x/x/x/x/x) , and to me it's just the most real/pure love song. Love isn't just about all the good times, it's how your partner and you navigate the bad. Sometimes the worst moments in life show us just how strong our relationships are and bring us closer together.

Karlie what you want, call her what you want to (I can't unhear this in the background now <3)

New Year's Day January 1, 2017

This Taylor is hidden from us because she will probably never be as open with the GP, media, or her fans ever again. Who knows what to come in the future, but she actively tells us "don't read the last page" and to "hold onto the memories." Ugh, this is making me tear up -- I just officially joined the fandom!! Don’t tell me this is it already... (x/x/x)

This post highlighted the importance of the sunshine necklace with Taylor's obvious sarcasm in the BTS in saying “It’s really important to wear subtle jewelry in music videos, I’ve learned.” (If anyone can forward the gif I’d love to add it to the post :))

Sidenote: technically, isn't this another closet she's in during the rep era?

Wear you like a necklace…

And I will hold on to you...

I had so much fun putting this together and being inspired by all the amazing perspectives the Kaylor fandom has been churning! Hope you like it :) Let me know your thoughts!

#kaylor #gaylor swift #reputationtimeline

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