#but there absolutely IS a reason that fix it fics exist

[muzzlemouths]

Apologies if this has been asked already, but is there any chance we might get to see what those conversations between sun and moon were like? I just started reading (Don't) Fear the Reaper and now that I know they talk when Sun is quiet, I can't help but wonder what's being said.

When I eventually get around to writing the follow-up fic (which will explore the story from Sun's pov) you'll get to see each and every conversation they had!

Since I'm not sure when that will be (and I have a rough version of what it might look like already written up in my notes) I'll go ahead and drop it here for you to chew on in the meantime :3

This conversation occurs in their personal cabin when y/n first finds out about Moon's existence. I've left the original lines in for context, but they'll be indented so you know what is and isn't internal.

“We?” You watch with growing curiosity as he freezes in place and winces, like he’s just been caught in a lie.

“Sun—”

“I know, I know.”

“Fix it.”

There it is, again. That distant expression like his mind is somewhere else entirely. You aren’t sure if robots are capable of internal monologue, but if they are, his must be pretty intense for the absolutely guilty expression he wears before smothering it with another mocked up smile.  “Me and…Moon,” he answers, voice pitifully small. 

“What are you doing?”

“It’s better to be honest, isn’t it? They’re going to find out eventually.”

“No. No. You’re going to say something you shouldn’t.”

“I can handle myself in a conversation just fine, thank you very much. I have so fa—”

“You don’t know when to shut up.”

His smile falters, eyes panicked like a child being scolded.

Moon. You recognize the name from the conversation with Oscar earlier, how scared he had looked from the mere mention of it. You aren’t entirely sure how to navigate this situation, but if this Moon has everyone up in arms, there must be a good reason for it, right? “Is he…dangerous?” 

“....Well? Am I?”

“Oh, now you want me to talk?”

“Just thought they should know all the grisly details, since you seem keen on being truthful.”

Sun hesitates to answer. He bides his time by tending to your ankle, instead. Carefully drawing your shoe away like a reverse cinderella, then gently turning your ankle in all directions to get a feel for the damage. 

“You’re not being fair.”

“Go on, tell them.”

“I don’t think that’s a good ide—”

“Tell them how I butchered her. How I didn’t stop until her pulse flickered under my hand.”

“Moon—”

“Tell them how much I regret letting go.”

“I—”

“Tell them how often we think about her blood caking our palms. How relieving it felt to finally—”

“It doesn’t feel broken,” he tells you. 

“Don’t ignore me.”

“I think you might have just twisted it. Should be in tip-top shape by morning!” He faces you with that telltale smile once more, only for it to droop significantly when you don’t immediately mirror his relief. It’s not the answer you’re waiting for. 

“Hypocrite.” Moon snarls. “Cornered yourself. Now you’re the animal stuck in a trap.”

“Little rabbit…” he sighs. “You are very, very lucky, you know. This could have been much worse.”

Pebbles climb in your throat, brought on by his words. Each bigger than the last and taking up space where you need to breathe. They rattle with every inhale, collecting in great heaps the longer he fits you with that emotionless stare. You don’t think he’s referring to your ankle, anymore.

“Cruel. Warning a rabbit with one foot already in a trap.”

“They’re smarter than you think.”

“It’s too late to save them.”

“...I know.”

“Then why bother?”

A twig snaps just outside the door, relieving you of his piercing gaze as his neck wrenches to follow it. Just a squirrel.  “Sun, I—” “Anyone can be dangerous,” he whispers, eyes still zeroed in on the animal.

“Caaareful.”

“I told you, it’s better to be honest," Sun's optics twitch ever briefly. "They ought to know it isn’t you they should fear.”

[simmonsized]

The point of epilogues fix-it fics is not fixing everything because it sucked, but saving characters from their own downfall out of love, because you want to believe that people care about each other enough to notice negative changes in their own friends

[redroses07]

The Umbrella Academy Season 4 Fix It Fic // Five Hargreeves x Reader Edition

WC: 3.1k

CW: Canon accurate violence, swearing, kissing, use of Y/N, Y/N is a bad ass, domestic fluff, angsty af.

Summary: A Five x Fem!Reader rewrite for the end of season four because I absolutely hated the ending. Five and Lila are not a thing in this fic, because that made me literally gag.

A/N: Hey luvs! I worked my ass off writing this fic because I needed to have a better ending for season four. In my mind this fic is canon. I hope y'all like it because I truly love how it turned out! Have an amazing day and enjoy! - Claire ♡

Five sat on the empty train, riding round in aimless circles. He had no intention of ever stopping. Perhaps he would die here, if death was even possible in this endless void. There was no reason for him to continue, they were out of options.

All he wanted to do was save his family, save you, but he couldn't even do that. At least this way he could escape having to witness the end of their lives.

He couldn't help but feel as if this was all his fault, if only he had listened to Reginald when he told him never to time travel. So much pain, so many lost lives, it never would have happened.

Five looked out the window, he didn't know what exactly for. Everything looked the same. Round and Round again, each identical station feels more hopeless than the last.

After an immeasurable amount of time, days? years? who knows. Something caught Five's eye.

He jumped up from his seat, following the dark figure out into the station.

Was that? No.

"Hey, wait!" Five shouted, chasing him down a staircase.

He rounded a corner, seeing a dimly lit cafe filled with all too familiar faces. The place was filled with several alternate versions of Five himself. It was an odd feeling for him to see himself this way.

Nonetheless, he took a seat across from the Five he had followed.

No more than ten seconds later, another Five served up two pastrami sandwiches. Five number two began to complain about the amount of sauerkraut on his sandwich, staring intently at the meal.

"What is this place?" Five asked, reaching for the cup of hot coffee next to him.

"It's a gas station. What the hell does it look like? It's a Deli." He could see that the alternate Five share his love of sarcasm.

He went on to explain how this was a place where all of the Five's from alternate timelines end up while trying to fix the "broken timeline" issue.

"Okay, so what shattered the original timeline?" Five asked.

"Not what. Who? I'll give you three guesses." Alternate Five held up three fingers.

"We did!" Another Five yelled.

Five wasn't surprised, everything always seemed to be caused by him.

"By we, do you mean my siblings?" Five asked.

"Yep, the morons."

Five rolled his eyes.

"When we come into existence, the timeline is shattered, and then we're stuck trying to save the world. How many times was it again?"

"145,412."

The number seemed almost impossible to fathom, but the more alternate realities, the more opportunity for the world to end. Alternate Five pointed at the wall, which was filled with every possible way the world had ended. Viktor's attempt at blowing up the moon was front and center. Seeing it gave Five an unpleasant sense of nostalgia.

Five came to realize that the commission was created by an alternate Five in an attempt to fix the timeline, but it was never successful since the Hargreeves siblings were the root of the problem.

"I have to get back." Five turned, rushing out the door. He heard the alternate versions of himself begin to speak, but his overwhelming thoughts drowned it out.

Five ran as fast as he could, getting back on the train and returning to his rightful place. With his family.

As Five entered the abandoned shell of his former home, the room's occupants turned to look at him.

The first person he noticed was you. You watched him with sad eyes, eyes he thought he would never have to gaze into again. Yet here he was, and undeniably, he had a plan.

You watched Five scan the room. Dark hair hung in front of his eyes, his chest heaved from running, or perhaps from anxiety.

"I didn't think you'd be back." You purse your lips, giving him a sour look. '

Facing your bitterness was the hardest part of all this for Five. Of course you had every right to feel that way, he had just up and left you. Although, in his mind that was better than having to watch you die.

"Yeah, neither did I." Five muttered.

Everyone looked at him, obviously awaiting an explanation.

"We caused this." Five began.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Alison sighed.

You stared at Five intently, wondering what had changed since he decided to ditch you and everyone else.

"The marigold that infected our mothers bringing forth our births had a side effect, it fractured the timeline, bringing forth the end of the world."

Five looked from person to person, attempting to read everyone's emotions. They were unreadable.

"Extracting the marigold from our bodies is the only way to stop the cleanse, and in short, fix the timeline."

Silence settled over the room. You weren't born with marigold as the Hargreeves were, but due to Ben's antics, this now concerns you too.

"Okay, but how exactly do we do that?" Diego asked.

Five looked over to Viktor.

"Viktor, you can use your powers to extract the Marigold from our bodies. Unfortunately Ben and Jennifer are too far gone to be saved, but their sacrifice will have been for the greater good."

Viktor let out an elongated sigh, and with little to no hesitation, he agreed.

"Okay, let's get moving before it's too late." Viktor said, speeding out of the room.

You followed closely behind, trying your hardest to avoid Five's gaze.

"Y/N, I-" You cut him off, this was not the time to be talking about all the mistakes he had made. Even if those mistakes led to the answer for all your troubles, they were still mistakes.

"We can talk about this later, if there is one."

Five sighed and watched you exit the room, not even bothering to look his way. He had fucked up big time.

You watched Viktor head towards the monster that was Ben and Jennifer. The creature growled, as it hurdled towards your group.

You turned back as you felt someone grab your arm, Five was standing behind you. You saw something in him that you had only seen a few times before, fear.

"Please. If we don't make it through this I want to make sure we're okay." Five begged for your forgiveness.

In any other circumstance you would not have given in this easily, but the dire situation has just begun to settle in. This could be it.

Neither of you wanted to leave this world with so many words unsaid.

Your gaze softened, and you followed Five away from the other Hargreeve's.

"I know what I did was wrong. With every bone in my body I feel that it was wrong."

He spoke loudly enough to drown out the oncoming chaos, but softly enough to omit any sort of aggression.

Five reached for your hands, and you reluctantly let him take them.

Five paused for a moment, trying to find the words that would mean the most, considering he was dealing with limited time.

"My worst fear is to see you suffer, and at the time, running away seemed like my only escape. I feel like I've already caused so much hardship in your life, and the thought of any more terrified me." His eyes stayed glued to you.

Five was the whole reason you had joined The Commission to begin with. He helped you to believe in a cause that you otherwise wouldn't have, and the two of you hadn't left each other's side since.

You didn't regret it per say, but you couldn't deny that you often wished for a different life. You would never blame any of your circumstances on Five though, and you hated how he always chose to blame himself.

"Nothing that has happened to me, or to anyone, is your fault. I think all of us share some responsibility, but blaming yourself is just wrong." You squeezed Five's clammy hands.

Five let out a sigh of relief as he was able to recognize forgiveness in your eyes.

"I love you." He said, fighting the tears that began to form in the corners of his eyes. The phrase was reserved only for you, as it is a concept that has always been hard for five.

Growing up with Reginald as a father, and a family that could win an Olympic gold medal in dysfunctionality, Five didn't exactly have a positive outlook on love.

"I love you too. We've been through worse, we'll get through this too."

Five pulled you into a tight hug, breathing you in as if it was the last chance he would ever get to hold you. The two of you were versed in the end of the world, this was not the first final hug you had shared. Five placed a soft kiss on the top of your head, and he didn't miss the small cry that escaped your lips.

You rarely cried, and when you did it was always around Five. He was the only person you felt comfortable enough with to show vulnerability. It was the perfect moment, and the past few days had worn down your patience. You reluctantly let a few tears slip loose.

"Get your asses over here love birds, Ben is here." Diego called from the other side of the room.

You and Five exchanged a look before running over to the center of the room and rejoining your family.

Ben growled ferociously, the red goo that dripped from his body falling around the room.

"Just so you guys know, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. So if we all die, I apologize in advance." Viktor said, clenching his fists on either side.

His newly improved orange power began to swirl around his body. He squeezed his eyes shut, clearly focusing on the task at hand.

You reached for Five's hand, interlocking your fingers with his. If these were to be your last moments, you wanted to make sure he was with you.

Five gripped your hand with everything he had in him, every bit of strength was to remind you of his presence.

With each moment that passed, the colorful plume of Viktor's powers grew, encasing not only Ben and Jennifer, but all of you.

You and Five watched as the all too familiar gold marigold specks began to float through the air. It felt odd, it didn't hurt, but it wasn't a particularly pleasant feeling. It was like your whole body was being poked by a prickly cactus.

The air turned cold, and all other sounds were overcome by the rumbling of Viktor's power.

An unbearable wave of exhaustion washed over you, and it became hard for you to keep your eyes open.

You looked over at Five, making eye contact with him one last time. He gave you his signature smirk, funny how in spite of everything he could still be himself.

The last thing you saw was Ben falling to the floor, the marigold protruding from him filling the whole room with a deep yellow glow.

And just like that, the world turned black.

· · ─────── ·☂· ─────── · ☂ · ─────── ·☂· ─────── · ·

Five opened his eyes, the bright light of day overwhelming his vision. The ground beneath him was soft, the tall grass tickling his fingertips.

Five sat up slowly, his eyes adjusting to the sun. He looked over next to him, and there you were. Just as you had always been, right by his side. Your chest rose slowly, a thankful sign that you were still alive.

Five looked beyond you, to see his siblings all scattered around the lawn. They were all exactly where they had been before the blackout. The empty patch of grass, of course, was where the Hargreeve's mansion used to stand.

Without the existence of their powers, The Umbrella Academy was never formed. It was strange, to know that what Five remembered, no one else did. It was like waking up from a strange dream.

However, one thing was missing, Ben. And of course Jennifer. Five wasn't surprised that they hadn't made it, considering how their bodies were overtaken.

Five watched as his siblings slowly began to rise from their temporary comas, their eyes heavy and glazed over.

Five nudged you slightly. Unable to wait for you to wake, wanting to share this beautiful moment with you.

You opened your eyes and felt as if you had awoken from a decades long slumber. The first thing you saw was Five next to you, a genuine smile on his face. That was something you had missed.

"Are we in heaven?" Klaus mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Well if this was heaven, I'd be awfully disappointed." Lila replied.

You laughed to yourself, and stood up on wobbly legs.

You all had done it.

"Viktor. I think you might have just saved the world." Luther announced.

Viktor smiled and looked down, maybe eventually he'd let himself take the credit.

You began to take in your surroundings. The sound of traffic in the distance, the wind stinging your cheek, the smell of spring air. It was all so normal.

"Guys, where's Ben?" Klaus asked, and your heart dropped.

"Klaus...we all knew he probably wouldn't make it.." Alison said sadly.

Just then, something caught your eye. Something yellow that stuck out in the patch of green.

"Guys, look!" You pointed at the unique plant.

"Marigolds." Five said softly, and you felt his hand close around yours.

Two beautiful yellow flowers sprouted from the earth, a reminder of what was sacrificed. A reminder of what had to happen for all of this to exist, and a symbol of hope.

~~ Two Years Later ~~

You awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside your window, a song that was often your wake-up call. You rolled over to see Five sleeping peacefully next to you. You weren't surprised. He always slept late, after all, he was an old man at heart.

It had been two years of living freely in the new timeline. You and Five now share an apartment next to Lila and Diego and their three kids.

Life wasn't without its challenges, but compared to everything else the two of you had been through this was paradise.

Viktor had started his own Cafe, a small shop on a street corner that had quickly become a local favorite.

Alison had landed a big movie role not long after everything returned to normal. Ever since it hit the big screen, she had no problem with job offers. She didn't even miss her power of persuasion.

Klaus still lives with Alison. He doesn't really do anything specific, he often refers to himself as 'self-employed'. But he was happy, and that was all that really mattered.

Luther had somehow reconnected with Sloane, who had re-appeared after the timeline was fixed. Of course she didn't remember anything, but it must've been fate because they got to fall in love all over again.

Diego decided to put his skills acquired from his power to use and now taught axe throwing classes.

Lila had decided to help people who had ended up in a mental hospital, similar to how she had. She was working on getting her degree in psychology.

As for you and Five. Five kept his CIA job, and you decided to join him in his career. As the two of you had always done everything together, why not this too?

You felt Five stir next to you, letting out a series of groans. He slowly opened his eyes, a smile spreading across his face the moment he saw you.

"Good morning, beautiful." His morning voice is thick and deep.

"I love you." You whispered, pushing his messy hair out of his eyes.

Five leaned up to kiss you but you counteracted it by jumping out of bed. You pulled the blanket off of him and he whined in protest.

"Time to get up, Gramps, Lila wants us to drive the kids to school today."

Five rolled his eyes at the nickname. You snickered and kissed him on the cheek before heading to the bathroom to get ready.

After the two of you grabbed breakfast, you met Lila outside, Grace and the twins behind her.

"Thank you again for helping us out with this, I don't know how I'd ever get to work on time without you." Lila gave you a quick hug.

"Of course, whatever you need." You ushered her away, signaling that you could take it from here.

You were used to driving the kids places, and they always said you were their favorite aunt. Five however, could not surpass Klaus for favorite uncle.

"Alright guys, who's ready for school?" You said as you jumped in the driver's seat.

There was a chorus of enthusiastic cheers from the back, and you laughed.

"I was never that excited about school when I was your age." The kids had no idea how long ago that actually was for you.

You made sure to put on some kid friendly music, anything but Baby Shark. You dropped the kids off and made sure they all got inside safely.

"Anything else on the schedule for today?" Five asked you.

"Nope, we're both off today so I think the rest of our day is free."

"Great, we should do absolutely nothing." Five's eyes lit up with excitement.

You nodded in agreement and drove towards your home.

Once you arrived, the both of you threw on pajamas and cuddled up in bed. Five flung his arms around you and rested his head on your shoulder, simultaneously letting out a big sigh.

"I love you." He mumbled in your ear.

Even after all these years he still made you blush every time he said those three little words.

"I love you more." You pressed a kiss to Five's nose and he scrunched it up before responding with a chaste kiss to your lips.

After breaking apart you and Five settled into each other's arms, excited to spend a calm day together.

He reached for the remote and flicked on the TV. The small kiss he placed on your forehead didn't go unnoticed.

As Five settled into this new life, he found it hard not to expect a new life altering crisis to pop up at any moment. But it never did.

As the day dragged on, nothing out of the ordinary happened; and you could almost say that it was an ordinary day.

Taglist: @xreader-writing @dorkyfangirl24 @dinorawrss @anne-oop @ladynaviamin @i-amtrash @patchesofdreams @sarbear33 @marinalor

[hydrobunny]

'cause he really knows me (so call it what you want)

tags: hurt/comfort, established relationship, argument?, happy ending! 1.1k words

a/n: slightly different style than my previous stuff but it's been a while. fic based on call it what you want.

nagi seishiro isn’t known for being a very public persona.

it’s usually reo who takes that crown; the heir isn’t afraid of posting whatever he has on his mind. his best friend, on the other hand, might as well as not exist for all the presence he has on social media.

you close out of nagi’s blank profile with a sigh.

the teen in question is barely three feet in front of you, headset glued over his ears as some fast-paced first person shooter game blazes on. as if he could hear the sigh, nagi turns around immediately.

“you good?” he asks, dark eyes flicking over your form in scrutiny.

you give him a smile. “fine.”

after a pause, he turns the chair back around, muttering some apology into the headset.

with another exhale, you roll over onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. sometimes you wondered if nagi was purposely ignoring you when you were over, or he was actually just that dense.

for god’s sake, you were in his bed. you had been in it for at least two hours, and he had been on the game for probably three.

you eye the back of his head again. all that time on his computer was going to give him a headphone dent soon enough. hell, if you squinted, you could already see it forming.

in one smooth motion, you roll over once again to step off the bed. “bathroom,” you say, not sure why you’re even bothering.

compared to his LED lit bedroom, the rest of nagi’s household is bright, with large windows littering almost every wall. the afternoon sunset peeks in through slightly closed window blinds, you breeze through the hallway, avoiding making any noise.

you’re not really sure where his parents go all the time. you saw them once, for a slightly awkward dinner, and then never again. either way, he doesn’t seem to mind, so you don’t press the issue. you’re pretty sure he’s spent more time with reo than them anyway.

(deep inside, you wonder if it bothers him. you think it might bother you.)

as you enter the bathroom, you realize that you didn’t even need to go.

so why are you here?

you stare at your reflection through the large mirror, eyes tracing the shape of your facial features slowly. is there a particular reason nagi finds better company in the form of online games? does something not fit his many likes?

you find your hand steadily approaching your mouth, and actively push it down. it’s taken you long enough to stop your anxious habit of biting your nails down to the quick, and you’re not excited to start that again.

instead, you go for something safer: turning on the sink and absolutely dousing your face. the coldness helps ground you, helps you realize that you probably should take the hint and just leave.

your phone’s in your hand before you realize, some dark emotion taking over to write a message to your boyfriend.

going home. ill text you tomorrow.

you’ve made a decision. and honestly, you think nagi’s made one too. you doubt he’ll even see this message- or even notice you’re gone- for at least an hour.

it still takes you two minutes to leave the bathroom.

the sound of your steps almost echoes in the large house. your vision blurs with every beat of your heart, and you know that you’re simply being stupid.

crying did not act as a viable solution. crying fixed none of your problems.

your fingers clasp over the door handle-

and there is a hand on your shoulder, bringing you to an abrupt stop.

“hey,” nagi’s familiar voice says. “why are you leaving?”

you turn. and you can spot the exact moment nagi realizes you are crying. his usually tired eyes widen to an extreme, then he’s stepping backward, taking you with him.

“y/n, what's wrong?” he asks. “did something happen?”

so the sobs start coming faster, for you realize he still doesn't understand- he pulls you into his embrace, and your cries become muffled by his soft hoodie. you can tell he’s trying to awkwardly console you from the rhythmic pats on the back.

when you finally manage to get out your words, he immediately freezes.

“sei- sei, it’s you.”

nagi gently pulls you away from his chest. he stares down at you with uncomprehending eyes, still so heartbreakingly concerned.

“it's me?”

those two words get your own tirade flowing.

“i don’t know if you know me anymore. i don't know if you still want me anymore,” you inhale, guttural. “i look at us and wonder if you would notice if i wasn't there. i look at us and don’t even see a couple. i- i think you might be better if i wasn’t here.”

there’s a beat of silence. he swallows.

“i would.” he says softly.

you meet his gaze.

“i would notice if you were gone.” nagi continues. you think he’s never been more ready to talk in his entire life. “y/n, i would notice- i can’t stop noticing you.”

“i don’t say it enough. i know. but i also know that you’ve changed your perfume lately. i know that you’ve been feeding the stray cat in your neighborhood. that you’ve been thinking about going to the beach. that you want another ear piercing. that you’ve started another save in my game.”

you blink rapidly.

“i know i don't sometimes act like it. but i’m listening, y/n. and i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i don’t tell you i love you. because i do. i love you.”

your mouth is hanging open, all tears stopped from sheer surprise. nagi stares at you, gaze searching.

you nod. it’s all he needs.

and so his entire body relaxes into you, and it’s just ironic enough to get you laughing. (and crying, again.)

“i love you too,” you manage out. “i love you too- and i’m sorry i made you leave your game, and i named the cat melon, and-”

nagi snorts into your shoulder.

there’s no more words to be said after that. you're both too busy laughing at each other, hands tangling in the other's hair.

it probably seemed a little strange to other people, having a boyfriend that didn't act like he was a boyfriend to the online world. one that didn't seem to mind long silences. maybe it did bother you, in the smallest sense there was.

but honestly, in moments like these, you were willing to let it go.

because in this moment, seishiro nagi was your boyfriend/lover/something. it didn't matter that he didn’t shout it from the rooptops, didn't matter that no one could put a label on it.

he was here. and he saw you. and that was all you needed.

[vagabond-umlaut]

affaire de cœur

Plucking one's heart from their chest and devouring it is all 'affairs of the heart' meant to the King of Curses— until his Queen walked onto the stage of his life, that is.

▸ trueform!sukuna x wife!reader; comprises of elements inspired by the tale of 'hades and persephone'; gallons of domestic fluff between sukuna and reader; hints of spicy times; no warnings except sukuna is very much sukuna here but you too are there, so he's sort of a better sukuna... [not loads better, though]

▸ belongs to the series 'mine? yes, mine.' but you can treat this as a stand-alone fic if you wanna!

▸ i don't own the characters, the image or the divider used. please don't plagiarize or translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️

"Repeat those words after me, my lord."

"No."

The pouty face you vault his way from the other end of the bathhouse makes Sukuna huff an annoyed sigh. Few monsoons back, you would never even see him in the eye, gaze trained on his feet – until he lifted your chin up; even then you would shyly avert your gaze — yet, now?

Now, you show the boldness to wear such a pathetic expression while making such an imbecilic request– nay, demand of him– locking your gaze with his the entirety of the time, no less.

Another sigh finds its route past his lips. Watching the way those sin-filled lips of yours twitch in a tiny smile before dipping into a pout, he groans.

"Alright. Fine," Sukuna grumbles, resting his two arms on the edge of the tub while the other two move to card through his damp hair, "Will you ever leave me for another, woman?"

Your eyebrows rise for a beat, the second the question you chomped his ears off earlier for, leaves his mouth. Your lover rolls his eyes, loud scoffs erupting from him at the utter inanity of the whole situation at hand — you, not beside by him, but beside those damned towels and bath soaps; him, not soaking in the warmth of your flesh but of these bath waters; the humid bathhouse not resonating with the sounds of your whines but with the remnants of a query, whose answer he does not care the least for, for no matter what you say or do, he will not—

"Yes, I will."

Your clear voice scatters his thoughts away, akin a strong wind and a handful of chaff. Sukuna freezes, every crimson eye of his fixed upon your approaching figure– your soft footfalls, your yellow yukata, your simple hairdo, your angelic smile...

Your husband takes a while too long before discovering his lost voice, eyes narrowed, throat tight and chest heavy as he asks you, "You will leave me, pet?"

"Uh-huh, I sure will," you hum in response, sitting on the stool next to the tub and moistening a towel. Sukuna moves to grasp your wrist in his palm but pauses when he catches you switch your attention from the towel to him, a terrifying emotion brimming in your tender gaze.

You draw in a tiny breath before speaking, voice now a mere whisper.

"Show me someone who is the most feared creature to ever exist, yet is a sulking mess if he isn't being cuddled in bed till noon every single day; someone who detests humans like I detest carrots, yet visits the monthly market in secret, to get gifts for his close one; someone who everyone's told me is the worst, yet goes on to prove, again and again and again, how he's the absolute best in this world—"

You stop suddenly.

Chest growing heavy from an entirely different reason now, your lover drinks in the manner your smile widens, your fragile fingers letting go of the cloth to trace those markings on his skin instead – you resume.

"Show me someone whose embraces feel the safest place in all the three realms, and I swear, my king, I'll leave you and run to his arms without thinking twice."

For the first time in his millennium of existence, the two-faced curse feels the same distress of being paralysed, as his mere mien induces in the muscles of his miserable victims— except, it isn't the fear of an end to his life which is causing this abhorrent weakness to him unlike those worthless mortals— no.

It is the fear of the unknown, of the uncharted, which is rendering his powerful self so, so powerless before your blinding brilliance. Sukuna thinks death might be an easier journey to undertake than these odd realisations your voice and touch elicit in him always.

These days, more so.

This moment, very much so.

The addicting timbre of your voice rouses him from his musings, the second time that night.

"Is every–"

"Is that supposed to be a love confession?" Your husband cuts you off before you can finish your question. You slowly blink at him once then twice, before leaning backwards and picking up the forgotten cloth, a visibly coy giggle bubbling out you as you return to washing his skin.

"Yes," you agree after a beat, gaze darting to his face before skittering away again, "That is supposed to be a love confession for my beloved king; though I wonder what my lord thinks of it. Was it heart-touching as I intended to make it? Or did it sound too tedious to him?"

The addressed being deliberately makes a big show of rolling each of his four eyes at your query. "Neither," he says, curling his lip in a show of vexation before they lift a little at the lower lip you jut out, "And you should count yourself to be lucky that you're my wife, not a worthless mortal, pet. For if you were not my wife–"

"– you would've sliced me into halves without a moment's hesitation," you finish the rest of the sentences for him with a fond shake of your head. "Trust me, my king, I know you. I do, I rea– Sukuna!!!"

The startled shriek of his name— not my lord or my king but Sukuna —parts the curse's lips in a smirk, which widens on noticing the warm water slowly seeping into your clothes, making them translucent; and you staring up at him with a disbelieving look etched onto your pretty face.

Sukuna allows his smirk to melt away into a genuine smile, for once.

Nestling your drenched form closer to himself, he closes his eyes to rest his forehead on your shoulder, palms holding you as if you were not a member of the race he lives for the sake of tormenting, but an invaluable blessing, beings he has never believed in, sent earthward for his damned self.

Which is true, the curse reckons. You indeed are a blessing he knows he doesn't deserve – yet will keep for and with himself for an eternity and some more.

Pressing you closer to himself, your husband lifts his head to plant a kiss to your forehead, followed by your warm cheeks — hoping you'll understand the meaning behind every reverent contact he's marking your form with now.

After all, you know him really well, don't you?

[You do— which is only why you reciprocate every brush of his sharp canine over your skin, with a brush of your soft palm over the wicked, handsome, wickedly handsome visage of the love of your life.]

▸ masterlist

[magicpiano]

I have seen a few DCxMarvel dimension travel fics, and quite a few of them are of them are Peter Parker post-blip. Which gives me a crack fic idea: everyone who got snapped ended up in the DC universe. Yes, all of them.

The current world population is around eight billion, so half of that would be 4 billion... Yeah that would cause so so so many problems. But the DC universe is used to crazy shit.

Obviously there would be a sudden influx of "new" heroes and villains but with absolutely no context it is hard to figure out who is who.

Batman immediately trying to make contingency plans for all these new heroes and villains as well as figure out their civilian identities but this is very difficult because literally no records exist yet.

Magic users from both worlds team up, but I think they were still unable to fix it, the infinity stones were just too powerful. Also I think Dr. Strange and Constantine can't stand each other.

While I am at it, Wonder Woman and Loki would probably hate each other too. DC is more Greek but it has had their own version of Norse mythology, so maybe they are the same and have beef?

They would struggle to feed and house that many new people, but getting them jobs and integrating them into society would be hard too. And good luck proving anything anyone says. "You swear you have a law degree from Harvard? Okay I guess."

Do doubles exist? Yeah a lot of people probably don't have an alternate universe double, but it stands to reason some do. How do you deal with having a new kind-of twin? Or a dead friend or relative coming back, but different? Or even someone you never knew/doesn't exist in this world insisting they are family.

Some au double ideas I have seen people toss around are: Dick Grayson as Richard Parker, Kara Danvers as Carol Danvers, Steve Trevor as Steve Rogers, and Slade Wilson as/being somehow related to Wade Wilson, but I am sure there are other fun ideas out there too.

The snap didn't just affect humans/earth! So other planets are having the same problems.

Then randomly, five years later, just when people were getting used to the change, they all disappear again without warning. This causes as many problems as the original appearance did.

[alchely]

My Top Gallavich fics

So, under the advice of the lovely @iangallagherisadeadman I've decided to compile a favorites Gallavich fic list along with a brief rec of each, this won't be a strict top 10 cause I'm not gonna torture myself into excluding some of these stories on some made-up self imposed arbitrary rules.

A bunch of disclaimers: most of these fics are long fics, going from 30k words up, I'm not purposefully excluding shorter fics, I have read plenty of them, but they do have a harder time sticking in my head months after reading.

Most of these fics will be explicit, just read the tags on the fic itself if you want to find out more.

Some of these fics don't have links because the authors chose to lock them and as such make them unlinkable, in order to read them you will need to go through the author's page while you're logged in your AO3 account.

This ended up ballooning out of control and is A LOT longer than ten fics, I apologize in advance :p.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN – spoonfulstar - 231k words

Mickey and Ian have been students at Marceline boarding school their whole lives, as their time at the institute draws toward the end they will start to discover many things, about themselves, about each other and about the world they live in.

THIS FIC! I CRIED! The number of fanfiction that are able to make me cry can be counted on a singular hand, the emotional stakes get higher and higher as the story goes on, leading to a beautiful and bittersweet climax.

This story will make you think and feel deeply about topics you'd never think a shameless fic would delve into.

I am obsessed with Mickey in this fic, he and Ian grow up in an environment that could not be more removed from South Side Chicago and yet his personality is still so recognizably and distinctly Mickey.

The story goes very dark at times, and the fic itself could be considered lengthy, but I assure you the author has made sure to not make you feel it. Those 200k words flowed so well the story did not feel long at all.

HELP ME (TEAR DOWN MY REASON) – wehangout - 34k words

Mickey is a detective and Ian becomes a suspect in an investigation except Mickey already knows him because he's his favorite dancer.

This fic falls under the umbrella of fics where “Mickey is so in love with Ian he does something unbelievably crazy”.

Oooh boy, this fic, it's written in second person (yes you've read that right), tbh out of all fics I've read from this author I think this one was the easiest to adjust mentally to the change in perspective.

I loved Mickey’s “love” in this, just… This raw connection to Ian, the perfect cocktail of feelings, I could read that all day long.

IN ANOTHER WORLD – Roryonic - 249k words

Mickey does not get sent to prison at the end of S5, what happens after and how his presence influences future events (mostly Ian, but also every other Gallagher as well as his own family).

As far as I'm concerned this fic is the closest to a perfect S6 and beyond fix-it. The dialogue writing in this story is so close to canon Shameless that I could picture entire scenes in my head with the actors playing the characters, with their body and personality quirks.

Sometimes I find myself describing this fic like it's the actual show's deleted scenes, “Look, Mickey has his own storyline! And Mandy is here! And the existence of Yevgeni does not become a plot hole!”

There are some Mickey lines in this fic that to me are as canon as if they'd been in the show. Absolutely iconic writing.

I love this author so here's a rec of some of their other longfics, however I highly suggest a lot of their other much shorter stuff as well:

BATTLESHIPS AND LOVE BOATS: Ian and Mickey start their “no strings attached” kind of sex relationship a little later than canon but their attraction and love is just as strong. This is a sort of High School AU that turns into a Prison AU that turns into something else and every shift is just as lovely as the next.

YOU SMELL LIKE LOVE: Ian and Mickey are childhood friends, to the point that the rest of the Gallaghers might as well consider Mickey a seventh brother, mmmh, I sure wonder how things will start to change. Look, I never thought I'd love a childhood friends AU for Gallavich yet here I am, if it's good it's good.

ME AND THE DEVIL: Mickey unconsciously calls for a vengeance demon and Ian Gallagher shows up at his door, because Mickey is a stubborn dumbass they fall in love instead. This story has a lot of twists and turns and the premise is only the very beginning of the story. I LOVED it!

THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF IAN GALLAGHER – Shamelessquestions - 309k words

Ian is a dancer in a club, he accidentally gets involved in the affair of a dangerous mafia don, but the true danger is the attraction he and the mafioso’s right hand Mickey feel for each other as soon as they meet.

What. A. Classic. Truly, an unforgettable story, and I don't mean this in hyperbole, I read this story around… 2016/2017 during my second round in the Shameless fandom, then I read countless other fics in a lot of other fandom and yet this story was the only one that my mind retained from back then, to the point that I could still remember some of the finer details as well as the final plot twists when I came back to reread it.

The plot is constructed beautifully and the original characters (part of the Shamelessquestions fanfiction universe, as they come back time and time again in every one of their AU to fulfill their role in the story) are just as vibrant.

What a story, truly.

Favorite original character in this AU: Sal, his downfall is so satisfying and yet so pitiful to read.

TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME – Mellow_Yellow - 221k words

Ian finds something scary and calls Mickey for help, even though they had only reconnected that very day after two years of not seeing each other. Together, they get sucked into a situation they weren't at all prepared for. Can they even admit that they're in over their head?

The very beginning of this fic is SO cinematic it grabbed my interest from the very first scene and didn't let go until the end, DO NOT search for spoilers.

The only warning I'll give is that it does deal with a bit of gore and what I'm personally gonna define as slight psychological horror. That's it. Enjoy!

BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS – dancermk - 66k words

Mickey becomes a porn actor for a site where he has to pretend he's straight and not enjoying the copious amount of gay sex he's having on camera, enter Ian, another actor under the same agency and their off the chart physical chemistry.

This story has, needless to say, some really, really good smut. I especially loved their first time together, but every sex scene in this story is seared in my mind.

ETHERIZED AGAINST THE SKY – Snarfle - 213k words

So, I debated whether I should add this fic or not, but I think if there is one fic that will stay in my mind long after this Shameless binge of the past couple of months it's this one, and it should absolutely become one of those fic that everyone in the fandom should read.

After Mickey gets shot by Kash his life takes a completely different direction and he ends up in a group home where, through many difficult times, he turns his life around.

So many iconic moments in this fic, some funny as fuck, some sad, some so absurd that I'm surprised they weren't lifted straight from Shameless, one so gruesome in the very first chapter that I was surprised to have such a visceral feeling from just words on a screen. Yeah, this story will stay with me for a long time.

OLD RULES FOR NEW SIDE PIECES – Shamelessquestions - 217k words

Ian is a Fed and he spots Mickey looking suspicious in an art museum, the mutual attraction is overwhelming, Mickey is not what he seems and Ian is already with someone else, but that's not gonna stop him from pursuing what he and Mickey have.

Putting it as bluntly as I can, this fic made me face the realization that I love cheating fics (if the cheating happens to someone else to bring together the endgame couple). I have already reread this fic twice and I could probably go for another one and not get tired of it, it's that good, and out of all this author's fics it's probably my favorite.

Favorite original characters in this AU: It's a three way tie between Dre, Ivan and Carrie, they're all very captivating in this story.

Other fic from this author I'd recommend cause I really love their style:

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Ian meets a very attractive man while he's in Ukraine who doesn't speak English, a mere language barrier won't stop him from flirting for hours. (adorable)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL HUMAN – Dragona - 66k words

Ian is an assassin, he meets Mickey and thus begins a very sick love story.

To say I'm obsessed with this fic is an understatement, I suggest to everyone to just go read the original author’s own description of the fic, it sets the tone of the story magnificently.

This is an Ian Gallagher that almost resembles Jerome (also played by Cameron in Gotham) but like… a slightly more subdued and saner S1/S2 version of him. I love the layers that get peeled right in front of my eyes, the madness that creeps in a bit more every chapter. I LOVE this story.

DRIED INK - 87k words

This fic combines my two favorite Gallavich-specific tropes, one being ‘Mickey comes back from prison after s6, Ian is with someone else’ and ‘Ian cheats on that someone else for Mickey’

I love the Gallaghers in this and how unsurprised they are at Ian going back to Mickey right away. It's a little jewel of a fic.

Mickey tries SO hard to stop himself and Ian in this but their love is too magnetic, they're irresistible to each other.

THE QUESTION OF NORMAL – blue_newman - 92k words

Ian is a prison counselor, Mickey is in prison, they fall in love and it's beautiful and Ian is incredibly devoted to Mickey in this fic and I fell in love with them both in this.

KINDA RAW – catgrassplantdad - 6k

Quite simply this is my favorite short pwp fic.

Illustrating those “five times” in one night that Mickey references in 11x01.

This fic is so hot, I love it <3

QUATERVOIS – DodgerBear - 51k words

Soldier Mickey gets stationed in the middle of nowhere and meets a farmer called Ian who makes him question everything.

Falling under the same umbrella of “Mickey does something crazy for Ian” fics and this is why it stuck in my mind even if it's been a while since I've read it.

I LOVE this story, their dialogues and everything that happens in it. The setting is lovely and you will fall in love with the description of Ian’s farm.

Other fic by the same author that I also loved:

BURDEN OF PROOF: Cop Mickey gets caught in a legal battle between the two oldest Gallagher brothers, something doesn't feel right though…

THE WORDS HE DOESN'T SAY: Mickey is released before Ian in s10 and has to meet a court-mandated therapist. The story is from the therapist POV and goes AU from the beginning of s10 in that Mickey gets involved back into Yev and Svetlana’s life, the dialogue is, quite obviously, the main attraction of the story and it's really well done. (Also, written in first person).

THE MENAGERIE – CrossMyDNA - 147k words

Ian decides to re-explore his bdsm preferences at The Menagerie where he meets sub extraordinaire Mickey on his very first visit.

Shameless is undoubtedly the fandom that opened my eyes to what bdsm could be back in… approx 2016? When that other popular bdsm fic was still around *ahem*.

So it definitely feels like a sign that coming back into the fandom this fic now exists and is SO GOOD.

Obviously it's very explicit, the smut in this fic is one of the best I've ever read.

The chemistry between Ian and Mickey sizzles off the screen and can absolutely be felt even in moments not of the nsfw variety, absolutely recommended!

MICKEY MILKOVICH’S GUIDE TO FLIRTING – whatwouldmickeydo - 40k words

An s2 “missing moments” between Gallavich, completely canon compliant, all under the pretense that Mickey is following a step by step guide to flirting.

I wish this fic was describing canon moments, not kidding a single bit, I wish I could somehow magically manifest these scenes into existence they're that good and fit that well into canon.

M8TE – gallawitch - 53k words

Omegaverse fic where Ian and Mickey both start using an app and end up matching with each other, even though a connection is made almost instinctively, coming to terms with it with a sound mind will take a bit longer…

Hey,had to have at least one of these on here lol

I love omegaverse and this was everything I wanted from it, couldn't have asked for anything better really <3.

SHACKLED – MyRelapse - 19k words

Ian has a change of heart and he decides that Mickey IS the one he wants, even if he's still in prison, so he keeps in contact and goes through every hoop imaginable to have him back as soon as possible.

Reading this made me so happy like I could burst, love it.

WAITING ON MY OWN TOO LONG – Ride4812 - 266k words

This rec more than any other on this list is what I'm gonna consider self indulgent because it covers the trope I always craved to read in such a satisfying way: Canon AU where Mickey comes back from prison after 8 years, Ian has found someone else but the moment the two meet again they fall back into each other right away.

The series is made up of 4 smaller fics:

One more night

Something more this time

No more lonely nights

Ain't this life so sweet

(I will point out here and nowhere else that the last installment of this series has some segment that probably needed to be re-read a couple more times, but by that point I was too invested, and the quality fluctuates a lot only in certain parts)

The writing style is very direct and to the point, which I love, the smut is very present and written beautifully and most importantly never boring.

Ian is a MESS in this fic and had me Stressed™, mostly cause for some reason I can't handle too much casual depiction of drug abuse and addiction (I know, ironic considering the fandom).

Conflicts and resolutions are never clean cut, they don't necessarily resolve quickly or definitely or the way you probably imagine they should and I find this level of realism very satisfying.

Taking a bit of space here at the end to also rec a couple other Ride4812 fics that I also loved:

COUP DE FOUDRE - A model/photographer AU where Ian and Mickey fall in love the instant they meet and do some crazy things because of that.

HOPE HE MIGHT - A lawyer AU where Ian and Mickey are on opposing sides for the same client, an interesting murder mystery steeped in a religious cult.

Generally I feel like this author is really good at depicting just how unapproachable Mickey can be to anyone that isn't called Ian Gallagher and I eat it up every time.

WHAT THE NIGHT DOES TO THE DAY – andchaos - 9k words

A Gallavich childhood friends AU with a quite original arrangement for the story and the various segments of their lives. Very satisfying read.

RANSOM – BeckyHarvey29 - 112k words

Terry sends his sons to kidnap a Gallagher child to force Frank into paying back the money he owes, unfortunately for him Mickey and his brothers kidnap Ian, and a whole other kind of story unfolds.

Mickey and Ian falling in love in this fic is such a good read. I don't wanna spoil anything of how that or the kidnapping plot goes, since the two are so intertwined. Just know that it will be worth it.

UNDER LOCK AND KEY – Suzy_Queue - 106k words

Ian is assigned the night shift at his new job where he provides spare keys to his fellow college students stuck outside their dorm rooms. To make matters worse his shift coworker is the oh so infamous Mickey Milkovich.

I am magnetized by the way this author writes their pining for each other, their attraction and obsession, how it blooms and unfolds. This fic in particular had me develop a very bad case of tunnel vision, couldn't really turn away until I finished reading it all.

I still haven't read everything this author has to offer, but so far I also loved:

INHUMAN: A mysterious force starts attacking people close to Mickey and it all seems to lead to a mysterious redhead Mickey is oh so coincidentally obsessed with. Very cool paranormal story.

THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Mickey takes over as the boss of the local branch of a trampoline park, where Ian is one of the employees, they annoy each other to no end but what they don't know is that they're secretly texting each other.

IS THERE SOMEWHERE – andchaos - 48k words

Mickey is born with no words on his skin, convinced he's going to live a life of misery cause no one will ever say the words he's destined to hear, he's not a very happy guy. Here comes mute boy Ian who crashes into his life and won't let go.

A classic Soulmate AU, I love that like in a lot of other Gallavich fics their physical connection and compatibility usually comes before their emotional one, it is one aspect that I feel distinguishes their relationship to many other fandom’s ships.

LAST NIGHT AT THE VERONA GRAND HOTEL – the_rat_wins - 27k words

Mickey starts working at an ancient hotel who's supposedly haunted. Mickey doesn't believe in ghost stories, he is much more interested in this one guest he meets at night during his shift.

What a cinematic experience this fic is! Absolutely recommended, the length of it makes it so you can read it in the same time it would take to watch the same story in movie format.

Other fics by the same authors that have impressed me:

FADE THIS ONE TO BLACK: Ian dies of overdose in a pile of snow outside the club, when Mickey finds him there he vows to do anything to get him back.

I don't know why but this fic in particular gives off the vibes of being a pilot for a ya urban fantasy TV series, except we gotta imagine everything that comes after the first episode lol

NO LIE: Ian and Mickey are Soulmates and as such they can't lie to each other. This series is short and sweet and full of feelings, perfect

PARAGRAPHS – pink_ink - 100k words

Ian becomes a reading tutor for ex-convicts, Mickey is among them and Ian starts paying him more and more attention.

This is a story where they meet under very different circumstances and where they've lived slightly different lives compared to canon and yet they're still able to find each other in the end.

Also, sign me up for every fic where Ian has to work just as hard to help Mickey and care for him as the opposite, where Ian's brand of stubbornness is the only way to get through to Mickey.

I'm also adding a couple of ongoing fics, just two to not overwhelm too much.

NONE THE WISER – Loftec - ~218k words

Ian starts visiting Mickey’s diner, it takes a while and yet no time at all to warm up to each other.

I'm captivated by the author's writing style. I love Ian's and Mickey’s relationship. I love how they sort of take their time and yet pine helplessly for each other.

I'm obsessed with the fact that the whole point of the fic doesn't appear until two thirds of the way in cause the diner scenes were just too good to pass up on lol (and I 100% agree with them).

INTRO TO QUANTUM DATING – spoonfulstar - ~563k words

Canon Mickey and Ian meet in University. A college slice of life but drenched in the casual (and not so casual) darkness of canon shameless.

The dark humor in this is fenomenal and left me gasping laughing so many times.

Unexpectedly Ian in this fic is pursuing a linguistics oriented degree, which was what I studied when I tried university, the topics are explained in such an accurate way I have to assume the author studied them themselves and that this story is somewhat a reimagining of their own college experience because if not this would be an absurd amount of accurate research to make.

Reading this fic feels like living through the American college experience from the comfort of my home lol.

As I said before, this author's way of writing does not weight you down even with its length, the story flows perfectly from one scene to the next and before you realize it you've reached the end and you have to accept that 500k words weren't even enough.

Let's end this list with some quick recommendations

WHILE WE'RE MAKING OTHER (PEOPLE'S) PLANS - kyasticlikestea

Mickey is volunteered to organize someone's else's wedding after he managed to salvage his own so well, he'll do it, but his own Southside way.

THIS IS THE ROAD TO RUIN - bricoleur10

Ian and Mickey never go to rob Ned, the story unfolds differently from there. A fix-it with a lot of Gallavich longing , very good smut and some really good dialogue.

HEY, HONEY MINE (I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME) - serveteas

Mickey talks about his crush with Iggy and accidentally pronoun-slips. Short, to the point, funny af and I just really love it. Takes place after their fight at Kash’n Grab in s2.

AGAINST GLASS - AllThatMatters

Ian gets traded from one club to another as a dancer (and more) and ends up in the Milkovich family's club. This is a Mafia!Mickey story with some pretty tight sub-plots, I love his brothers in this.

ONE OF A KIND - fckyeahgallavich

Mickey breaks his finger and it has to be set in the hospital, chaos - of the homophobic kind - ensues. Protective!Ian, I wanna hug Mickey in this.

IAN THE FRIENDLY GHOST - Ravenheart

Ian is haunting an apartment and Mickey starts living in it, Ian is maybe starting to have a crush on him. This isn't angsty!

BLOOD IN, BLEED OUT - brewrosemilk, Whatsastory

Historical AU. Perfectly innocent bystander Ian Gallagher is thrown into the affairs of the Ukrainian Mafia back in 1954, his relationship with Mickey will span decades and he won't remain innocent for long, the mafia can corrupt anyone.

TEENAGE RUNAWAY - sadwhales

Ian comes to live and finish high school with his half siblings on the South Side, he's immediately captivated by a boy sitting under the bleachers, maybe his North Side naivety will catch his attention too.

GARDEN SONG - melwrtiesthings

A glimpse into their lives in their West Side apartment, a lot of initial angst due to a manic episode and then a lot of recovery and healing and learning more about themselves.

[miniy00ng1]

Die With A Smile

Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader

wc: 1447 (not proofread)

warnings: swearing, death, lmk if i missed anything!

find my masterlist here

hiii lovelies! i absolutely love the song die with a smile and felt it fit super well with tua, so this is the outcome. i actually had two separate ending ideas for this fic, so if you'd like me to release the alternate ending (it's a happy ending) lmk in the comments. as usual pls ignore any grammar errors and i hope you enjoy! thank you <3

-----------------------------------

The Hargreeves Siblings and their families are gathered in the broken down Umbrella Academy. After fighting the giant hybrid monster, Ben and Jennifer, that is consuming everything and everyone in its path, the siblings are trying to come up with a plan of action. 

Five, your husband, has disappeared back to the subway station where he spent several years trapped with you with little hope on finding a way back home. He left in hopes to find something that he might’ve overlooked, a solution to the cleanse. He left you behind to help care towards his injured siblings and in hopes that you could be the brains while he was gone. 

“How the hell do we beat a thing that keeps getting stronger and bigger everytime we try and fight it?” Diego asks in exasperation. The siblings pace the living area trying to figure out how to beat the monster. “It’s only a matter of time before it consumes everything and the world ends…again.” Viktor states matter-of-factly.

At this time, Five blinks into the living room and his eyes immediately finds yours–there’s a look in his eyes of realization and acceptance. You get off the couch and make your way to him, interlocking fingers and giving his hand a comforting squeeze.

“I went back to the subway station and had a very long and strange conversation with me…well multiple mes. But anyways, we are the reason why all of this is happening,” Five continues to explain to his siblings how they should have never existed but they do and that they have caused a shattered timeline. “That must’ve been what Ben was trying to show me back at the department store, he showed me the original timeline. He was trying to tell me that maybe, the cleanse isn’t a bad thing.” Viktor says, recalling the serene scene that was the original timeline. 

Five recaptures his siblings’ attention, “We have to let the Durango merge with the Cleanse. It’s the only way to fix the timeline…” “And what happens to us?” “We cease to exist.” Five replies to Diego’s question, leaving everyone in the room too stunned to speak.

“Absolutely not Five,” Your words come out shaky, “There’s got to be another way.” “Yeah! I’m with Y/N. It turns out, I don’t actually like dying all that much.” Klaus says agreeing with you. Five looks at you with hurt in his eyes, he would never willingly leave you but there’s no other way to save the world. “Y/N, I’ve been through every possible outcome, there’s nothing we can do to stop this. My siblings and I should’ve never existed in the first place. We don’t belong here, we never did.” Your eyes well up with tears, “But you guys do belong, you’re my family, you’re my love Five. If you’re not here, I don’t belong in the timeline either.” Five shakes his head at your words.

“What about our families Five? What happens to them if we cease to exist? Diego asks glancing towards to other room where his children reside. “I’m not sure.” Five says defeated while tightening his grip on your hand. The siblings look at each other unsure of what to do. Allison sits up from the couch, still clutching her stomach from her injuries, “What about that train station? Can you bring them there? Y/N could go with them and make sure they’re safe since she’s been to the station before.” Before Five can answer, Claire enters the room, rushing to her mom.

Five brings you to the side of the room for a little bit of privacy. No words are exchanged as he pulls you into his embrace, his face in the crook of your neck, holding you tight as if you would disappear from his arms. You feel your neck dampen, this is your breaking point. Tears stream down your cheeks as you push your face into Five’s chest, trying to get as close to him as possible. Sobs rack your body, you begin to hiccup as your breathing becomes uneven. 

Five tries to pull away to get you to breathe. You sob harder pulling him tighter, “Just hold me for a little while longer. Please Five, just hold me.” Five responds by cradling you in his arms, placing a gentle kiss on you head, “I’m so sorry Y/N. I love you so much. I wish there was another way.”

The Umbrella Academy is a mess of emotions as the siblings say goodbye to their loved ones and accept their fate. You stand with Claire and Lila and Diego’s family waiting for Five to blink you to the subway station. You wave to the siblings that you have grown to know and love so much. Five grabs your hand and blinks the group out of the house. 

“Okay everyone, follow me onto the train, we’re going on a little trip!” You try to put a fake smile on your face to ease the nerves of Diego and Lila’s children. You guide the group onto the train, ensuring that everyone got on before you. After stepping on you turn to face the train door, Five is standing there with a sad smile on his face. The only thing separating you two is a solid yellow line on the platform. The strange announcement that you’ve heard a number of times before goes off over the PA system. You’re heart begins to race, the doors are going to close any second now and this will be the last time you ever see Five. He continues to stare at you.

The doors begin to make noise, signalling that they’re going to close. Your eyes quickly glance between the closing doors and Five. Five’s eyes widen as he realizes what you’re about to do but it’s too late to stop you. Five instead catches you as you stumble into his arms, “What did you just do Y/N?” “I told you earlier Five, you’re my everything. Wherever you go, I’ll follow. If you’re not with me in the original timeline…what’s the point? The world is ending, I want to be next to you.”

Upon your return to the Umbrella Academy, the Hargreeves are shocked to say the least. “Are they safe? Did they make it?” Lila bombards you with questions. You nod in response and she wraps you in her arms, thanking you. “So…what do we do now? Should we say our favorite moments with each other?” Luther asks awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot as nerves surge through his body. Everybody shoots down Luther’s ideas and elects to just sit and wait. 

You and Five are seated on a couch, he holds you tight. He wouldn’t say it but he was scared shitless. You read him like a book and bring your lips to his ear, “It’ll be okay Love. I’m right here with you and I wouldn’t change my decision.” He turns his head to look at you and gives you a kiss that says everything he needs to. 

Suddenly, a shrill screech and crash can be heard outside the house. “You guys! I think he’s coming and I don’t think he’s happy.” Luther calls out while looking at the large monster approaching. Five grips your hand and stands up at the announcement. You and the Hargreeves move away from the window and form a circle on the other side of the living room. The monster hybrid’s tentacle-like appendages bust throught the glass window by the front door first. Then the window by the main stairway. In no time the tentacles were approaching the siblings from every angle.

“Relax and just let it do what it wants.” Five calls out to his siblings as the tentacles begin to reach their feet. Five looks at your intertwined hands and smiles, “I know I was a hardass, but I really do love you guys, as much as you do drive me crazy.” “Ew Five, I know we’re dying or whatever but don’t get all sappy on us now.” Lila says with fake disgust. “Thank you for letting me be in your crazy family. I love you guys so much.” You chime in, a tear slipping down your face. Lila reaches out to grab your left hand. Tears are now streaming down everyones faces as they hold hands with one another. The tentacles now enveloping up to their stomachs and climbing higher and higher.

You turn your head to look at Five and he mirrors your movements. It is now up to your chin and before you world goes dark, you’re able to make out Five’s final three words–said with a smile.

taglist:

@ohmyitsfaith @clairoscharm

[skibasyndrome]

why are your kinktober stories all bottom Simon heavy? I trusted we would see more bottom Wille from you /gen

Anon, up front, genuinely sorry if you meant well and are now about to get the brunt of my frustration that I've built up for over a decade of existing in fandoms and fanfic spaces surrounding queer men and their sex.

Ooookay, I try not to engage in this discourse normally because frankly? It's kinda draining, because the way queer men's sex lifes are picked apart in lots of online spaces is not okay and, frankly, hurtful. But, okay:

I have posted 10 of 31 stories

I intentionally don't tag any of my smut as top!/bottom! anything (tho I don't mind other writers doing it - go off) cause frankly? I don't believe that's something that should matter. It doesn't to me when I think of wilmon. Preferences are fine, cool, awesome, both irl and in reading, there are couples who like to do things one way only and there are couples who mix things up and there's lots of stuff in between. People love to bottom! People love to top! People love any- and everything in between and that is great for them. All of that is fun and cool and absolutely awesome if everyone involved is on board. I simply don't have any one way I headcanon wilmon, I literally just go with whatever the vibe is. That also means I don't believe in having to strike a 50/50 balance or whatever. Also because

sex between men (and, since in one of the stories Wille is a trans woman, between all people, for that matter) is about more than anal and/or penetration. I love to read and write about Wille bottoming, love to write and read about Simon bottoming. But that's noooooot all there is. One thing I do try to do with my smut is write about some of the other ways sex can look. Which includes (mutual) masturbation, hand jobs, blow jobs, intercrural, frottage, a myriad of other acts. All of these are fullfilling ways of having sex, all of these don't follow top/bottom "logic" or whatever you'd like to call it. So what do we do about that?

I know some people - not saying you do, this, anon - like to conflate topping and bottoming with power dynamics, be it sub/dom type of stuff, or just... some vague idea of who is superior or whatever. And that very much CAN be the case, I'd argue Wille bottoming in my vampire fic or even Wille during the wax play in the one fic and the intercrural afterwards is definitely bordering sub-y territory. But you know? That also very much doesn't have to be the case. In the fic that includes 69 it's Simon "calling the shots" or whatever you'd like to call it, despite being the one that's being penetrated. I have fics planned out where the opposite is the case, I have plenty of fics where bottoming doesn't have anything to do about being sub or being dom or anything like that. I think there's this idea going around that somehow, (gay) sex acts are linked to power and power exchange and that there needs to be some equilibrium or... justice??? And. No. That's not how consensual sex, be it in relationships or hookups, works in my mind. In consensual sex, there is no disadvantage in bottoming or no need for any of the partners to bottom to fix some sort of hierarchy. Because there is none. Not in the consensual sex of two (or more) partners that want to have sex to have a good time or feel close or relax or any of the other reasons people have sex.

Fair question to ask, just know that I don't write bottom anything for the sake of making a point, I just write whatever feels like the characters would enjoy it in that particular moment in time, whatever suits the POV I wanna go with. I don't keep a tally of times penetrative sex has been part of a story and who did what. If that's a no-go for you, that's fine and I won't hold it against you. I have a bunch more stories coming up with all kinds of dynamics, all kinds of sex acts, all kinds of differently written versions of our two blorbos.

hope this was concise enough and I recognize that I've definitely put all kinds of other, adjacent, points into this, but this gay man right here is kind of fucking sick and tired of seeing stuff assigned to gay sex acts that are just. sex between consenting partners

[dimepdf]

★  𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝟓𝟎𝟓. + 𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑

masterlist. / taglist. / tip jar. synopsis. jealousy is a terrible disease, and you and Eren are both suffering from a severe case of it.

✧. ┊    notes. back on the eren d rider train I need more fics of him BAD like there is a shortage of bad bitches that write for eren on my feed and I need that to be fixed real soon. | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

✧. ┊    word count. 3.2k (23 min read).

✧. ┊    genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | slight eren/mikasa in the beginning | (fr)enemies | established relationship | hurt/comfort | miscommunication | misunderstandings | sexual tension | jealousy | post-break up | make up sex | porn with feelings | grinding | fingering | unprotected sex | cowgirl | riding | hair pulling | we ignore typos here | title inspired by this song.

EREN WAS CONVINCED you were batshit crazy, that would be the only reason why your brain would always find some new reason to push him away enough to have him chase after you like you had a pretty pink leash around his neck hooked to a collar with his name on it. 

You would always manage to push his buttons just enough to tip him off, and in return, you weren’t the type to just sit back and let some man yell at you cause he certainly was not your father nor your mother.

The arguments you two would be involved in usually led to very amazing angry sex, clearing out a grace period enough to last until the next time you chose to push his buttons.

Well, this time it was different—at least that was your claimed reasoning for telling your friends why you and Eren were on another one of your famous relationship breaks. 

This one happened so fast that Eren wasn’t even sure what the hell he was talking about until you stormed out of his apartment and blocked his number for an entire week, holding onto the smallest things that reminded him of your existence. 

Wincing every time he would see your post on your Instagram story all dressed up and going out with your friends looking so unfazed. Maybe this time it actually was different, and the thought of that scared the absolute shit out of Eren. The heavy feeling of the thought of you losing you left with him a constantly collapsing moping pit forming in his stomach.

It was settled between his friends that they wouldn't let him mope around his place alone any longer, tired of hearing and depressed, mentioning your name on his lips, convincing him enough to coax him out of his apartment littered with reminders of you to hang out at some house party.

What those said friends failed to mention was that you would be there as well, with about seventy people scattered from the front yard to the pool in the back with music raging so loud he could feel the vibration from where he sat lounging watching you from his seat on the back porch.

He was supposed to be having a good time, getting messed up enough to not remember your name. Yet there he was, sitting slouched a few feet away from you, his heart on his sleeve. 

A blunt caught between his lips, minding his business as best as he possibly could, but it was just so hard to believe that he could hear the familiar pitch of your laughter filtered through the music.

"Dude," Connie sighs, interrupting Eren’s growing annoyance, his attention yanking away from where you stood, hugging up a little too closely for comfort to the smirking Armin. 

Eren hands the blunt over with a groan, his legs spreading comfortably and shifting back to lean with his back against the patio chair.

With his head resting on the headrest pillow, he closes his eyes tightly, praying for his high to hit him like a truck so fucking soon, wishing for just one night where he wouldn't have to deal with his annoying emotions for you. "Shit, my bad man, I didn't even know that she would be here." 

Connie rests his hand on Eren’s shoulder, helping ground him back down to earth. "But hey, are you gonna be alright?" The question lingered in the stale air before Eren could process the rigid tone behind it, his eyes fluttering open to Connie eyeing down someone from across the yard with a knowing horny spark in his eye, knowing that his friend was a natural-born player and that it would be just so unfair to hold him back from his natural element.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead, man, I’ll be here." forcing a tight grin from his lips, Eren’s hand waving away his friend with a coaxing hand. "All alone.." he sighed under his breath once Connie had finally stalked away, leaving the dark-haired brunette to sit with his own flooding thoughts.

The sight in front of him making him feel as if he was witnessing a kamikaze from just a few steps away from how hard his heart was throbbing watching you completely ignore his existence as if you weren't just sprouting I love yous and kissing all over each other not even a few weeks ago.

He needs to move to get you out of his sight before the swallowing feeling can take up his entire mood and ruin his high. Stumbling around the large crowd of people, he parted through the crowd, finding the unknown kitchen counter that was decorated with enticingly labeled cheap liquor bottles and mixers that were calling his name. 

He hadn't even managed to get one cup down before the slush of his drink was met with the white of his graphic t-shirt, a curse hidden under his breath turning ready to spit the first insult on his mind he could spout from the large cloud of frustration festering from his annoyance only to be cut off. 

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry, dude." His attacker was a very apologetic and cute woman, with short dark hair, warm olive skin, and a very bold red bra peeking through the white cropped cami she wore, catching his attention embarrassingly quick enough for him to forget that it was better to actually make eye contact when speaking to another person.

His first initial words were punched back into his throat, a lazy smile taking their place instead. "It's already, uh, the drink tasted like shit anyways." He nervously chuckled, like he couldn't really help the nervousness that waved over him standing in the presence of a pretty girl who had introduced herself quite cheerily as Mikasa. 

If you had told him a few hours ago when he first arrived that he would actually be having fun, let alone sitting with some random girl in his lap, Eren would have called you crazy, yet there he was genuinely grinning ear to ear face to face with Mikasa, who had made it her personal mission to make Eren have a much better night than he was. 

The two getting awfully close in such a short span of time, sitting down clinging onto each other, sprouting out about absolutely nothing important but the genuine want to talk to each other, not to mention that It helps that Eren absolutely finds her stunning, their bodies sharing warmth sitting so close, it was only natural for the flushed feeling to take over with the rake of her nails tangling in his shaggy mullet.

He couldn't even use drinking as an excuse, babysitting the same drink she had remade for him as an apology for spilling the last one. There was really no real reason why he had suddenly leaned in and caught his lips against hers so hungrily. 

It doesn't help that Mikasa kisses him back with the same amount of eager roughness, practically straddling him on top of his lap at this point, the two heavily making out in the open.

With hands wandering, Eren reaches out a hold around her hips, his mind betraying him just a bit, not being able to fully push away the comparison to your figure. The thought makes him react with a wince, parting from the kiss with his tongue dragging over his parted lips.

Mikasa leans back, pushing his hair from his face while letting out a breathy fit of giggles, not discovering the hidden uncomfortable shift in Eren’s behavior. It wasn't her fault, he couldn't blame the girl for him being so caught up with his ex to the point where even when he was kissing other women, he couldn't help but get his mind off of you.

"If you want, we could go upstairs." Mikasa whispers in his ear, leading a shiver up his spine with a flash of sexual excitement. He is pleased at the end of her offer, locked in with the peck of her lips against his jawline.

The offer is absolutely knee-jerking, and if it were any other situation, Eren probably would have let this really pretty girl he just met jump his bone, but all the confidence that had been built up from the night had instantly drained the second he had caught your gaze from across the room. 

Both staring at each other pointedly, Eren’s lashes fluttered under your unflinched, hard glare as Mikasa continued to litter kisses with the promises of hickeys around his collarbone.

He wanted to feel so smug, wanted to use the new attention as a way to finally get back at you for making him feel the way that he felt watching you dance with Armin, but the revenge just didn't feel right, and his mood soured further at the thought of using some poor innocent girl to get back at you.

The intense eye contact is cut off by Mikasa bringing her face closer to his, seeking out another kiss. Eren squeezes his eyes closed, wanting nothing more but to get the looping image of you and Armin out of his damned head.

"What do you say?" being reminded in a soft whisper of the intimate question still in the air from earlier, the creep of her fingers dawning down his chest and rubbing with intention at the crotch of his jeans, Eren grabbing her wandering hand before it could do any more active damage.

"Maybe...maybe we shouldn’t right now," Eren sheepishly responds, his eyes searching for any ounce of rejection on her features,trying to shake the sight of you from his attention.

Mikasa doesn't seem all that hurt, if anything, she nods her head in understanding, taking no for an answer without another word, pulling her hands away and wrapping them around his shoulders instead, her head turning enough to show that she knows his attention is entirely too spent on someone else.

"What a player," she chuckles knowingly, not quite catching a glance at you, yet her eyes still scan around the room. "Something tells me I should go get another drink before whoever you're looking for comes and bites off my head." And just like that, Eren's perfect distraction slips through his fingers, and he's left alone once more, kicked back with the same emotions he had coming into the party.

His attention is rudely pulled back towards you as you appear in front of him. It was like you were hunting, searching for the perfect moment when he had his guard down to strike.

You placed your hand on your hips as he dared to stare up at you through his lashes, his body too at ease with the disappointed expression twisted on your face. "Are you fucking drunk right now?"

"Well, is this not a party?" Eren replies almost too easily, his tone has deepened enough to get a shifted, sneering reaction from you at the snappy comeback. Watching your movements a bit too intensely as your arms crossed over your chest, Eren didn't bother to look away from how plump your breasts looked in the pretty little crop top you managed to squeeze them into.

"I was going to ask if you wanted a ride home since I saw Connie dip with someone, but excuse me, I see that you're too busy tongue-fucking any random slut willing to give it out tonight, huh?" Your insults dig deep, even with the drooling sight of your tight-skirted figure dancing right in front of him. Eren sucked in a breath at the acknowledgement.

"You broke up with me." He spoke straight to your thighs, his tongue tracing over the bottom of his lip now that he could see just how good you looked tonight. All dressed up with your makeup done, his heart didn't want to imagine what you were hoping to get into if his presence wasn't there to ruin the mood. "Remember?"

"Fine, walk your ass home." Rolling your eyes and storming away, knowing that he was in the right, Eren let out a sigh before sleazily trailing behind your grumbling every step.

Watching the sway of your hips as you walk in front of him all the way to your car, slumping into the passenger side without any word even as you continued to have a one-sided conversation about how much of an asshole he was for not saying bye to his little girlfriend he was kissing on even though Eren was pretty sure Mikasa would be more understanding than what you were giving her credit for. 

The drive home is tense, the soft pitter of rain hitting the windshield wipers as the streetlights leech orange and white colors through your tinted windows. The radio played lowly, not loud enough to recognize the soft melody of something playing but not quite low enough to have you both sitting in complete silence.

"Are you guys talking?" Eren’s voice is still deep, almost cushioning from how gently he posed the question, almost as if he were so loud that he would be afraid to scare you away.

Your fingers clench around the leather of the wheel, eyes glancing away from the road for just a split second to give him a knitted-brow look. "What, who are you talking about?"

Eren feels like he’s back in middle school again, fidgeting with the bottom hem of his shirt, all nervous around you. "You and Armin, you guys looked pretty close at the party." He could almost taste the bitterness on his tongue, his head leaning back on the headrest, looking how desperate he had to look, practically pining over you with his broken-hearted expression.

"I should ask the same for you then." You ignore him, reaching to dial the music just a bit louder, not wanting to sit in silence if it meant opening up a question and answer panel between just him and you. 

The statement hurts, both physically and emotionally. Eren gets reminded of the pit still forming in his stomach.

The frowning emotion threatening a knot in his throat, having to swallow down the absolute word vomit of apologizes and begging he has threatened to spill from his throat in your honor, "Well, I’ve missed you." Was all that he could manage before he had to physically turn himself away from you, using the pressing cold glass to help aid the burning firepit of emotions he had covering the rest of his reasonability in dark, thick sud.

You didn't react, at least not in line of sight, even if you heard him, you hadn’t shown any acknowledgement of his heartbreaking confession. Not even when you pulled into his driveway had you bothered to give him a glance other than the action of you sliding off your seatbelt and letting him sit in the car for a breath before he was trialing after you once more.

Trudging through his apartment, even with you inside the home walls, you still felt a sense of lonesomeness. "Ren…" 

"Do you wanna come to bed?" Your voice sounds through the halls, following back to his bedroom, the door left ajar enough to see you lying in the place right where he had thought you belonged, blankets lifted open, enticing him to lie down next to you with a sobering small smile.

Crawling under the blankets right next to you without another word, cuddling against your chest, wrapping his arms around the front of your torso, and hugging close enough for you to lean with your back resting against the mattress as his face rubbed against the plush of your falling and rising cushioning breast.

"I’ve…missed you too." You lowly admit, using your acrylics to softly comb through the back of his hair, easing back his tension farther with a small kiss pecked on the top of his forehead.

The sound of the blanket shifting as it carries with Eren’s movements, his arms ankling at both sides of your head, holding himself up from pressing you with his entire body weight as he slots himself between your part legs.

Your fingers twining tighter into his scalp as he leans down for a kiss, the muffle of his moan pressing against your seeking lips, letting you slip your tongue inside of his mouth, adding to the rising heated makeout session.

The pace never lets up, growing with more eagerness. Eren frees one of his arms, letting his hands wander down, squeezing your thigh part by the bend of the knee, and having your skirt ride up unwearable to your waist.

Knuckling aside the lace of your panties away from your pussy, he used the pad of his thumb to tease at your clit only adding sinking two digits into the equation. Your cunt welcomed them with a greedy buck at the buck of your hips against his touch, kicking off his jeans awkwardly.

Eren is already sweating from the grouling press of his hard cock miserably untouched against your thigh, grinding shamelessly against your leg while his fingers pistoned with a lewd wet squelch from your coated arousal inside of you.

Pausing only when your fist tugs with a knot full of his hair tangled between your knuckles, your other hands push him away by the press of your palm against his chest.

Switching positions with Eren almost a little too obentaintly with you sitting straddled on his lap in an all too familiar position, you look angelic on top of him with your hair dawning over your face knocking out of his daze with a hiss at the slow teasing feeling of your fingers wrapping around the length of his cock and pressing his tip at the folds of your entrance. 

"I’ve missed you." The soft brush of your coo fans against his face from how close you were, and with your noses brushing, you both react breathlessly to the feeling of you lowering yourself down on his cock. The thrusting clench of his hips living up from the mattress and intruding deeper inside of you left him whimpering under your touch. "I’ve missed you so, so much, Ren."

The pace of your bouncing hips is relentless, starting at your own brutal pace and grounding yourself with heavy palms pressed against his chest.

Eren couldn't do anything but lie back and whine against your mouth, as you used him for your own release from the mental war he had to not end the fun for which he had been craving all week. Whimpering at the amazing feeling he missed so badly at your pussy squeezing against him so snuggly as if your body had just been made for him so perfectly. 

Eren’s hands help guide the grind of your hips as your muscles tense and tremble on top of him suddenly, your body going rigid, hugging your collapsed body against his hold, begging a string of nonsense as your cunt continues to milk him until his very last drop.

His hips don't bother halting, switch positions as he lays on top to help with his lazy, slow strokes, listening to your soft whines as you hug him closer to you, wrapping your trembling legs against his hips and pulling him as deep as you possibly could.

“I missed you too baby.”

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[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

ezra + bath oil + titties

GO

You absolute menace ily hahaha. Initially I was just going to do a short lil drabble that was a continuation of our disgusting musings about this man, but then I said why not make this into an entire feature in honor of @swiftiscruff's Friendship Exchange? You know, give our boy Ezra some real time to shine, and all in the name of celebrating friendships formed over that little verbose slut?

So, here is my Ezra oil shower titty fic dedicated to the lovely Kelli in celebration of the Friendship Exchange.

𝗔𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂

PAIRING(s): Ezra x fem!reader RATING: explicit material | 18+ WORD COUNT: 3k CONTENT: AU where Cee doesn't exist sorry lmao, established relationship, titty fixation, edible/food safe bathing oils, Ezra comes with his own warning, egalitarian assplay, cumplay, fabric washcloth used as gripping agent

Your nose for the most part had become blind to Ezra’s signature, tangy musk that edged into a ripe stench on hotter days. Even though you’d settled into the outskirts of a modest trading town and begun taking on the doldrums of keeping house, Ezra hadn’t fallen from his habit of going a little too long in between bath days. In times past he would go unshowered due to lack of amenities – the worlds you’d traveled and harvested from had hardly offered much in the way of hygienic routine – but now there was no such obstacle. He could bathe any time he wished and take as long as he pleased. You had your own home together now, one you were building upon each and every day, but the transient, unpredictable life that had become so ingrained into him was hard to shake. The notion of permanence was fleeting no matter how many days passed under your roof.

You, on the other hand, had become part fish since putting down roots here. There was a bathtub and a separate shower, and you craved the warm pool of water to soak in after a long day. Ezra liked to give you grief for wasting such a precious resource as water even though this planet was abundant in it. And yet, his admonishing never kept him from slipping into the wash room to ogle your bare form in the bath. You just wish every now and then he’d partake himself.

“The suns in all their unwavering glory has me feeling wrung of every bit of moisture,” he huffs as he fills a glass with something to wet his tongue and flood his scratchy, dry throat. “It’s good fortune that we needn’t adorn ourselves in protective suits here. I can only imagine the sort of foul fog that would cling to me then.”

You’re well aware of the second sun’s habit of becoming unbearable in these few weeks that your now home planet rotates closer to it. Your skin is sticky and wet with exertion, but at least all the growth pods you and Ezra have worked so tirelessly to establish are flourishing. They needed as much extra attention as any human on this planet did during these hotter spells. Soon enough you will forget all about the vehement heat when you and Ezra take your yields to the market during The Great Exchange and come home with lighter wagons and heavier pockets.

You accept the glass from Ezra and drink down whatever he’d poured. The cool creep of it down your throat already feels one step closer to equilibrium. “I guess we should wash up before we get the entire house dirty,” you reason.

“Hm, I suppose we should.”

You trod upstairs to the bathroom and bite back a scream when you see Ezra procure one entirely too small washcloth from the cabinet.

“You’re only washing at the sink?” you ask in what you pray isn’t a too panicked timbre.

“You don’t think the sink is robust enough to address my filth?”

You scrunch your nose, and that’s all the answer he needs. He chuckles a little and sets the singular washcloth aside. It already has smudges of who knows what just from him handling it.

“Tell me what you propose, my Little Gem.” He has an easy smile and those dangerous, glittery eyes fixed onto you.

“I mean, if you’re too tired I could, you know, I wouldn’t mind getting you washed up.” You shrug as though it’s enough to offset your way too eager proposition.

“You believe my own efforts are inferior?” he teases. “My Little Gem needs to take matters into her own hands and not rely on the fates?”

“Well, you’re always talking about wasting water. Wouldn’t it be saving water if we showered together?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “You would forgo your hallowed soak just to bathe with me, Little Gem?”

“I’m way too gross to just get into a bath. It’d just be sitting in a pool of my own funk. This level of gross calls for a full on shower, I think.”

“And you’ll tend to me in there?” he purrs as he steps closer to you and curves his hands over your hips. The pungent tang of his body makes your nose scrunch again.

“Much to tend to, it seems,” he remarks in response to your overt repulsion.

You need to take Ezra up on his noncommittal commitment of getting into the shower with you before he changes his mind. You quickly concoct a plan to hold his attention and agreeability in the small shower. You grab the soaking oil you drizzle into your baths on especially achy days and prop it on the shower ledge. You start peeling off grimy, damp layers of clothing and nod to Ezra, who begins doing the same.

You cross the room to where you stow your accessories and extras and grab a few items to pin your hair back. The last thing you need is something getting in the way of you giving him a thorough scrub down. Ezra saunters after you like a cat on the prowl, eyes roaming greedily up and down. Before he can derail the entire enterprise, you slink into the shower and start the water.

The initially cool spray is a contrary sensation to the heat emanating from your skin, but it quickly warms to a soothing slip. The stall darkens as he steps inside, broad shoulders blocking out the light struggling to filter in through the expanse of him. His frame was a thickened amalgamation of corded musculature padded in the softened flesh of a satiating supper every evening. The work here kept him lean for the most part, but you much preferred this iteration of him – all brawn and lithe but with the markers of an untroubled life.

“It seems all displeasure with my hygiene is forgotten once I’m naked as the day I was born,” he murmurs low and self-satisfied.

You roll your eyes but know he’s correct. A lover as competent and enthusiastic as Ezra meant overlooking other personal drawbacks wasn’t too difficult. “I’m sizing up my work,” you protest.

“And what do you make of its sizing?” he purrs with a gentle roll of his hips against you.

You knew this was where things would go almost immediately, and yet you still had the nerve to be caught off guard. “Ezra,” you grit out. You guide him under the stream and tell him to stay put while you grab the stack of washcloths you’ll need.

Upon your return you note the ashen brown water falling from him and circling the drain. “I must admit–” he says through the water rushing over him. Your eyes catch the flex of his biceps as he raises his arms up to work the water through his hair and scalp. “–There is something quite divine about the ritual. All sins washed away. A clean slate. A pure soul ready to be defiled once again. Isn’t that right, Little Gem?”

“What?” you mumble absentmindedly, too preoccupied on ogling the trail of water snaking down his torso and into the thicket of brown coarse hairs below his waist.

He only grins with a devious slant to his mouth and pulls you under the spray with him. His hands wander across your body in a lazy exploration. The only thing keeping you from abandoning your task altogether and just letting him take you right there in the shower is the persistent odor still clinging to him, now taking on a damp quality that only heightens the earthy grub and grit components within.

“Take a seat on the ledge, Ezra.”

He gropes the curve of your ass and presses a few kisses to the column of your neck before complying. “I’m at your disposal.” He spreads his arms open, inviting the work and focus of your hands on him.

You avoid looking at his half hard cock bobbing gently with every movement and soap up the first cloth. You try to avoid the snare of his gaze as you begin scrubbing his face, but he catches you with it as you lather through his beard. The corner of his mouth pulls up, an instant reassurance that he knows exactly the effect he has on you.

His face is a brighter, pinker vision once you rinse it, and it solidifies your resolve to scrub every inch of this man while he’s indulging your whim. His hands roam up and down your legs as you scratch and scour his hair. The fragrance of the soap combined with the purged dirt fills the space. You move to your hands and knees and start scrubbing from toe to knee then thigh to groin. He surprisingly doesn’t make too much of a fuss, which is good considering it takes three separate washcloths to get that section entirely cleaned.

“Surely I’ve indulged your caretaking long enough to have earned a different kind of corporeal attention?” He leans forward and noses at your neck and earlobe, and your body shivers despite the warm rush of water trailing down your back.

“Grab that bottle to your left,” you order as you start scrubbing down his torso. Your breath catches when your wrist bumps into his fully hardened, weeping cock, and you catch the curve of a smirk playing on his mouth. He holds up the unlabeled bottle and gives it a questioning shake. 

“An aphrodisiac?” His eyebrow cocks in devilish curiosity.

“Bath oil,” you snort. “You can, um, put some on me while I’m working on you. You know, just so it has time to soak in before I wash up, too. If you don’t mind.”

His eyes narrow and pull the edge of his mouth upward. He sees right through you, just like he always does. “Here I was thinking my purest Little Gem wouldn’t resort to such lowly deceit and bribery.” He pops the cap of the bath oil open and drizzles a moderate amount into his hand before setting the bottle aside again. He’s clearly amused with the ruse you’ve concocted, but unfettered exploration of your body is apparently a bribe he’s willing to accept.

“Resume your venture to free me from all the remnants of my labors,” he obliges.

“You know, you could just say ‘keep scrubbing me because I know I still smell’, Ez.”

He grins and raises his hands until they hover above your chest, little trickling lines of oil falling onto the slope of your breasts and dripping down slowly. You push your tongue against the back of your teeth to keep yourself grounded. If Ezra decided to start toying with you, you didn’t stand a chance at resisting his efforts.

You slather his arms from wrist to shoulder and work your way to his torso. Meanwhile he grazes a slick finger against your nipples in a ghost of a touch that has you subconsciously chasing his hand. You finish underneath each of his armpits, and, just when he’s behaved himself long enough to catch you off guard, he flicks one of your nipples hard with the edge of a fingernail. A shaky gasp of sharp pleasure flies from your throat quickly followed by a second one when he does it to the other side.

“See to my hindparts, won’t you?” he solicits with a deceptively innocent expression.

You clench your teeth together and take a step forward so you can reach over his shoulders and wash his back. He dips his head and takes as much of your breast into his mouth as he can and suctions with as much strength as he can exert. You yelp and attempt to release the clutch of his mouth from your sensitive bud, but he only sucks harder with a satisfied groan. His arms circle around each of your legs and cause you to lose your footing, which he uses as a distraction to switch sides.

Little pinpricks of purple have cropped up in a bloom of red from where he already sucked, and the force of his pull now promises no different for the other side. He loved to do this to you – get you off kilter, overstimulated, and seeking out more, often all at once. Your breaths come out whiny as he latches and pulls on your nipples and tissue.

“Ez,” you gasp. “I’m–I have to–to finish.”

He grips the flesh of your ass and pulls one cheek aside so that he can deftly push a thick fingertip into your puckering rim. It glides in with no resistance, and you almost think the oil wasn’t even necessary with how much you ached for him to fill you there. He pulls away just enough to disorient you with his intoxicating diction.

“Perhaps before our wash is complete, you’ll be beseeching me just to feel the breadth of me cleaving you apart,” he husks. “Nearly weeping for me to bury my cock in this hole just as you did only two nights ago.”

 “It feels good,” you mewl weakly. 

He hums low and gravelly in agreement as he resumes his ministrations on your breasts. The tip of his finger plunges shallow, a slow in and out, and you know it’s just to tease you for what you won’t get until you are begging him for it. You think that he must revel in the sway he has over you when he so fervently succumbs to you. There’s something so raw and vulnerable in the way he cannot deny his devotion and attachment to you, and so he must have some part of you in the same way as to not feel entirely powerless.

You’re panting despite exerting very little energy at the moment. “I-I really need to finish washing you u—”

He pops off with a loud smack and abruptly stands. He crowds you against the corner and props a foot up on the ledge, caging you in with his cock right at your eye level. Your hands rush with a washcloth and soap, now more greedy to feel him than cleanse him. You lather his entire groin area and resist the urge to lick up the beads of precum dribbling from his ruddy tip. Your eyes keep traveling up to meet his where he watches down on you with an almost omnipotent, divine consideration.

The last washcloth falls to the shower floor, and Ezra slowly walks backward into the water to rinse himself. It’s probably just a trick of the mind, but you swear he appears less hazy than usual with all the grime cleared from him. Your mouth is slack as you watch from your hands and knees on the shower floor, impossibly cramped into the corner of the small space. He smiles down at you. You know how much he loves seeing you on your knees in front of him.

Without a word, he moves the shower head to the side so that it pelts against the tile instead of spraying down on you both before turning around and hitching his other leg up on the ledge. He braces himself on the wall and the wobbly metal and glass door on the other side.

“Reap the benefits of your work, Little Gem,” he says over his shoulder.

You frantically douse your hand with a generous dab of the bath oil and walk on your knees until your mouth is flush against the cleft of his ass. A strangled whimper ekes out of him as you reach a hand between his legs and stroke his neglected cock with the slippery pull of the oil. You entrench your face into him until your flicking tongue delves into his asshole. You massage and prod into it, eyes rolling back when you feel how it clenches in delight at your motions.

Ezra turns again to face you now with what can only be described as a wild, hungry look in his eye. He takes the neatly stacked pile of used washcloths and tosses them onto the floor. You have no time to question his motives because he’s grabbing the bottle of oil and squeezing globs of it onto your breasts, barely returning the bottle to its place on the shelf before he’s massaging them and awkwardly shoving his cock between them and rutting against their pillowy, fleshy tightness.

“Shit,” he hisses. “That ass. That asshole of yours. These tits.” He sounds pained just trying to speak. His face screws up as he fucks between them, moaning appreciatively when you use your hands to press them closer together for him to fuck.

“You like my tits?” you ask a little breathlessly.

He makes a noise of great effort, eyes pinching shut at your goading question. He frees his cock and takes the flat of his hand to slap against your peaked buds. You cry out in pleasure at the sharp, blissful sting. “Bet I could make you come for me just like this. Couldn’t I, Little Gem?” he grits.

“Y-Yes,” you moan.

He makes some unhinged noise and slaps against your breasts in quick succession, barking out an order for you to touch yourself, and teeth glinting in the light with a manic grin as you climax. He starts fisting his length over your face, breaths coming fast and heavy.

“Open wide now,” he pants as he tugs his cock faster. The tip of it knocks against your lip, and you open wider with your tongue jutting flat and spread out for him to cover.

“Just like that Little Gem,” he rasps. “Hold it open and drink me.”

A few short strokes is all it takes before he’s moaning and erupting all over your face and mouth, the hot, thick bands of his spend sticking to your skin wherever they land. He doesn’t stop jerking himself until every last drop is spent. When he’s finally done, he smears his softening cock against your face, collecting his cum in sloppy swipes.

“Now look who is soiled, Little Gem,” he hums. “Clean up the mess you’ve made.” He watches you with half-lidded eyes and a heaving chest. “Wouldn’t want to leave things filthy, would you?”

You oblige and take him into your mouth, sucking and licking until every trace of his spend has been swallowed.

[etoilesombre]

You know what? People shouldn't feel bad about liking things in fandom, or creating things that make them happy. I'm absolutely vagueposting, but this really isn't about one post, it's about a tone I've noticed popping up again lately from multiple people (including people I follow and generally respect!)

-"They absolutely cannot fuck! So crazy people would think about that and be into it, it would break canon! "

-"Mod AU doesn't work, they're Serious Characters they aren't gonna run a coffee shop its OOC! "

-"Actually, fun fluffy fic about them at all during a certain era doesn't work!"

I get it. I agree with a fair part of it. People post all kinds of asinine shit that I hate actually. But you know where I bitch about it? Privately in group chat.

Let people fucking have fun. I get the sense that many people come to this fandom specifically because it's Serious and Challenging and you want to Do Serious Analysis. I think a lot of folks around these parts either are in school and not having a good time about it, or wish that they had gone into better academia that doesn't really exist, and they're getting that need met here. And that's great! For real!

But you know what else is fine? People who either don't have that need, or are getting it met in other parts of their lives, and come here for stress relief and a fun free hobby.

Of course they can't fuck for real! It's not in the text, they simply don't. But the tension is obviously written in, and playing with possibilities can be fun! Also if you can't see how it could happen and still not fix shit, that's a skill issue. Fic authors aren't stupid, we don't fail to understand canon, but not everything has to be everything all the time. Sometimes you want to do all the work and try to match the level of writing in the show, and sometimes you want to have something nice and easy. The show is REALLY well written and what it needs to be, the point of transformative works is playing with what it's NOT. Some people cope with fluff, or good ending everybody lives AUs, and it might be so totally valid to look down on that, but maybe being publicly correct might be less important than being kind?

Actually, the main thing I want to say is that if YOU reading this are a person who wants to write a cute coffeeshop AU, or be horny on main about your boys kissing, it's actually fine!! At least, it historically has been fine. This is a really small fandom now and not that many people are actively creating, please don't be discouraged by this stuff, because the people who criticize on tumblr are actually not the majority. The REASON they criticize is that, if you go to AO3 and sort by kudos, much of it is this super sweet OOC stuff! It looks like that's most of what there is, because a lot of readers in the wild who watch the show and look up fic like it!

Anyway. Let people have fun, it doesn't cost you anything, and not every thought needs to be public. It actually does discourage people.

[gffa]

Do you have any Sith!Obi-Wan fics you can recommend? 🙏

Hi! You can do a search for Sith Obi-Wan in my bookmarks which brings up several or you can start with the novel-length ones that still live rent-free in my head even years after I've read them: Equinox by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 95.9k During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin crash on a remote planet and take shelter in the ruins of a grand estate only to find they are not alone. This fic was written for me, so I'm biased, but it's genuinely my favorite for the trope because Lily put all this thought into the undercurrents going on between the characters, because it gives such care about why any version of Obi-Wan would fall to the dark and what he would be like, because each chapter had moments of foreshadowing and care given to lush, beautiful descriptions and the creeping dread of the place. It's a gorgeous fic and I think even if someone doesn't usually like Sith versions of the characters, the way this one does it (created reflections, not that our characters are falling, so it's scratching the itch of how it's an extension of our characters, but our characters are not on that exact path), I would gently suggest this one.

Lex Talionis by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 187.1k Or, how Obi-Wan and Anakin fell to the dark side, obtained their revenge, and saved the galaxy in the process. My other favorite Sith Obi-Wan fic, this one is about how these characters fall to the dark, and the author takes his time with how it happens step by step, but also how these massive, galaxy-spanning changes happen, how it's a combination of how sexy the dark side can be but also how awful it can be, how much pain and hurt it can cause. There's so much care and effort put into this story, it spans such a huge story, that it's one of those fics I want to physically print out in special binding because it deserves to be a pretty set on my bookshelf.

wicked thing by imaginarykat, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 124.2k the story of how Anakin exists in a perpetual state of intense embarrassment, Kenobi is enjoying it a little too much, and everything is, generally speaking, a gigantic mess. This is an AU where Obi-Wan never trained Anakin and is already a Sith when we meet him, and there's a reason it's one of the most famous fics in the fandom, because it is the most charismatic thing I've just about ever read, the sheer amount of dark side sexy charm coming off Obi-Wan is incredible, the tension between him and Anakin is delicious, and the writing/plotting of the storyline is superb. I could not put this fic down when I read it, there's a reason this fic helped really popularize the trope, because it's just so goddamned addicting and glorious to read.

Soldier, Poet, King by Glare, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, time travel, 106.4k wip Second chances are very rarely given, but the Force smiles upon two of its favorite children and returns them to a time before their actions have met their consequences. Anakin Skywalker, also known as Darth Vader, seeks redemption while Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, disillusioned with the Jedi Order and its Code, falls to the Darkness. Trapped out of time, Master and Apprentice must once again work together to stop Sideous’ plans from reaching fruition and bring Balance to the Force—all the while dodging the Jedi, the Sith, and their feelings for each other. I think this might even have been the first Sith!Obi-Wan fic that I read and I know it remains dear to me because I reread it a year or two ago and got sucked in just as hard as before. Obi-Wan is dropped back into his younger body, feels like the whole thing is a bunch of bullshit, gets sucked into dark thoughts, and just goes full dark side dom on Anakin and fixing the galaxy through machinations and foreknowledge. It's so fun and it does such great service to Anakin's level of power, that this guy is an absolute dragon in the Force, but that he also very much wants Obi-Wan's hand on the back of his neck to force him to kneel to the one person he loves. Hnngggg, it really cemented me as a fan of this trope because of how well it scratches the sexy dark side dom/sub while they're both badass dynamic, I love it so much.

I'm still making my way through a lot of Star Wars fic, so if anyone has any more recs, feel free to jump in, especially if you have some gen ones, since I mostly read pairing fic for Sith!Obi-Wan (because I'm personally after the sexy dom/sub dynamic with it)!

[chthonion]

HEY.

I had the most interesting dream after falling asleep switching between the latest chapter of The Horrowing and a time travel fix it in another fandom. I thought you might enjoy a brief summary?

Post fic canon Annatar, Finrod, Celebrimbor, and Frodo getting the most hilarious do over of the First Age.

Finrod and Celebrimbor got dropped in their past bodies, bc same souls. Which has Finrod JUST captured by Sauron, before any of his 10 have been munched.

Celebrimbor is of course having a surreal not quite panic attack in Nargothrond.

Annatar, well. Annatar is CHANGED. He is quite literally too different from what he once was for them to qualify as the same soul anymore. Which is gratifying. If inconvenient bc there are now TWO of him, Annatar and full on Sauron. But they're similar enough that Annatar was dropped very close to Sauron.

Frodo is an elf. Dream logic was that hobbits do not exist yet, and his soul has touches of Annatar and Aman. He looks disconcertingly like a mix of Annatar and Celebrimbor, and they are NOT thinking about that right now. Hopefully ever.

Most of the dream centered around all of them doing their best to set aside freak outs, while getting Finrod and his merry band (plus Beren) OUT of Sauron's grasp.

There was a FANTASTIC moment where on the way out, Sauron comes face to face and soul to soul with Annatar and he's just like;

Sauron: *jaw dropped fully horrified face* WHAT are YOU?!?!?

Annatar: *shoving elves behind him, nose in the air* Wouldn't YOU like to know, weather boy. *uses Song to blast him through a wall while he's distracted*

The whole thing featured 10 other elves and Beren as a baffled peanut gallery.

Meanwhile Celebrimbor is weighing the pros and cons of just- drugging his uncles and shoving them in a back room somewhere where he can bolt the door. He thinks he can maybe get Huan to help if he explains?

It was SO much fun.

(hope you have a good day!)

Oh my god. This may be the best ask I've ever gotten, for so many reasons.

The fact that your subconscious was like "Yeah if Frodo's getting a new body it looks like Annatar For Some Reason"

The image of future!Annatar getting into a fight with Sauron in front of Finrod (probably happy about this development) and Beren and the other 10 (INCREDIBLY CONFUSED)

The fact that the dream was partially centered on everybody trying not to panic, which is in fact what the Harrowing is all about for a while

Absolutely incredible.

...I feel so bad for poor Celebrimbor dealing with Nargothrond all by himself while the others are off having adventures. I hope their next stop after the rescue is to swing by and pick him up. Also, I dearly want to know what Annatar has to say to Beren on the subject of his current Luthien-and-Thingol-and-Silmarils situation.

[coupsie-daisies]

Power Over Me - Part 1 | Jeong Yunho & Kim Hongjoong

Pairing(s): Werewolf!Jeong Yunho x Witch!OC x Werewolf!Kim Hongjoong, Kim Hongjoong x Park Seonghwa, Jeong Yunho x Song Mingi

Genre: Smut (18+ ONLY), Urban Fantasy, College AU, Enemies to Lovers, Childhood Sweethearts, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: The sheer existence of Yunho's best friend, the person he imprinted on nearly a decade prior, near his pack sets Hongjoong on edge, and things go to absolute shit when everyone finds out why. Yet another thing that Blue has to fix, just like they always do.

Word Count: 25k

Warnings: Cussing, everyone in the pack is poly, unprotected sex, choking (technically nonsexual), excessive talk of scents, mentions of Knotting, mild infidelity, Yunho has a tragic backstory, angst (especially at the end of this chapter), voyeurism, I know I missed something so please let me know!!

Power Over Me Playlist

Power Over Me Pinterest Board

A/N: This is my piece for the Clownracha summer 2024 fic exchange. It's written for my beloved @ferrethyun, I hope you love it babe!

Tags: @dragonofthenorth0726 // @wooyussy // @burningupp-replies // @bunnypig18 // @brownieracha // @decaffedthoughts

Masterlist This fanfiction is property of @/coupsie-daisies, reposting on any platform is prohibited

Magic was, in its best state, a finicky thing. It relies entirely on a competent user to carry out its task, needing to be guided and shaped lest it break free and wreak havoc. Under a skilled, watchful eye, however, magic was a cure for just about anything. Magic is as old as the universe itself, and as time passes, the training of magic users and beings infused with its essence became essential to the growth of the world.

Those with the ability to manipulate magic were abundant in the world. It became common for them to rise to power or notability in many roles. Witches were in high demand as medics, teachers, mentors for those who knew less about the way the world worked. The water spirits and those that lived in the water worlds were vital to the growth of trade and travel. The Fae were consulted for matters beyond what the eye could see, and creatures of the night were revered for their power. As time went on, as the world grew and magic flourished along with it, the two became very intricately intertwined. So, naturally, the University of United Magic grew too.

The University started small, a coven of witches cooped up in a house where their elders taught others the trade, the tricks, and the sacred secrets of the past. Eventually, though, the University matured into a whole sprawling campus akin to any large college. All sorts of magic were taught within the looming buildings, and the lush nature that surrounded everything was healthier than anything touched by man's bare hands before.

Among the growing student body was one of the brightest witches on the continent, the child of two of the oldest, largest bloodlines in the history of magic. Of course, they had no intention of letting that go to their head. The rest of the student body, however, seemed to keep it fresh in their mind. People were never surprised when they came out top of their class yet again, or when they won another certificate or award of excellence. They simply understood magic in a way that other people couldn't begin to comprehend, forming it into something never before seen and harnessing it with the same level of care taken when handling a wild animal. It came more naturally to them than anything else.

Which, perhaps, was why they so rarely left their room beside for their classes, too busy experimenting with their newest brews or enchantment combinations. They were always seeking ways to grow their practice, if for no reason other than fucking around and finding out. Still, to say that they had privacy was a bit of a stretch. Not only were people regularly seeking their assistance with issues that basic magic couldn't begin to touch, but more often than not there was one particular werewolf stretched out on their bed, watching them work with a quiet, satisfied adoration.

"Must you stare at me when I'm working?" Blue deadpanned, looking over their shoulder for a moment before turning back to the swirling, shimmering liquid trapped in the beaker on their desk.

"I'm not staring! I'm just...watching. Like a normal person." Yunho answered casually. He sat up, long legs folding on the bed. He was, in fact, staring. But it was hard to blame him what with the way that he enjoyed magic. As a turned werewolf with no magical heritage, there wasn't much magic that he could practice himself. He had really only applied to the University to learn to brew his own remedies for his condition -- his rut suppressants and potions for the pain and whatnot. Not to mention that a degree in Magical Literature could come in handy in the future. But, most of all, Blue had applied to the University, and if there was one thing that had never changed about Jeong Yunho it was his dedication to following Blue around like a lost puppy. He'd been doing it since they were just little kids.

"Right, definitely normal. Can you pass me that bottle there? The lavender concentrate?" And like the obedient dog that he was, Yunho jumped up to pass the dropper bottle over to them. He stayed there, watching as they carefully dripped three perfect beads of the liquid into the mixture. It hissed, and bubbled, and turned a vicious shade of red before settling. It let off a subtle aroma of wood smoke and something sort of sweet. Blue seemed satisfied with this, wafting the steam towards them before carefully pouring it into a bottle and stoppering it. 

"What's that one for?" Yunho asked, picking up the bottle and turning it back and forth in his hands. Blue grabbed one of the sticker labels that was laying on their desk and scrawled a name onto it.

"It's a fuel substitute for fire demons. For Juyeon from our History of Enchantments class last semester. He's been having trouble with his current fuel, so this should help him until he can get it sorted out." They got up, taking the bottle from Yunho, labeling it, and tucking it into their bag.

They were always doing things like this, working tirelessly to help others in new and creative ways and expecting nothing in return. Yunho admired that. They said it was their duty to the world, to do what they could for those who couldn't. They'd been studying magic since they were little, learning under their grandmother and picking up tricks from covens all over the world. Blue's grandmother was one of the most powerful witches in the entire country, and most importantly, she was a wonderful woman. Yunho remembered that very well from their childhood, from the day he'd met her and Blue so many years prior.

The day Yunho met Blue was a blur in his mind. He'd lost a lot of blood, and the therapists said that trauma could make his memories disjointed on top of it. But he remembered the fresh linens hanging outside, the way that the breeze carried the scent, and how it was so strong in that moment.

He wasn't sure how the old woman had found him, or how she'd been strong enough to get him back to her cottage all by herself. He didn't remember how long the walk had been from the forest to the front door, but surely it had been a lot of work. But he did remember how she'd laid him carefully on a blanket on the workbench, the way that the pain had seared through him, and how he'd cried. It wasn't the violent, heavy sort of crying - he didn't have the energy for that - but it had felt like it to him. Every heaved breath ripped through his body like the claws that had put him in this state in the first place.

Grandmother recognized his condition easily as she worked her magic to heal him, stitching his wounds back together with her gentle chanting. This room, Yunho remembered, looked very much like what he'd imagined a witch's home to look like. There were dried herbs hanging from the ceiling, and sigils painted on the door frame, and the shelves and cupboards that lined the walls were full of jars and bottles of things he didn't know about, all labeled and neatly organized.

And then there was Blue. They were so small and unassuming as they stood against the wall, far enough out of the way that their grandmother could work but not so far that they couldn't examine what was being done to him. Yunho remembered their eyes; wide, and curious, but so very calm in the face of all the blood and pain.

Grandmother hurried around the room, speaking as she gathered her ingredients -- maybe to herself, or maybe to her grandchild who was certainly listening intently. She measured everything carefully into a bowl, beginning to grind everything together and chanting something over it, a language Yunho didn't recognize. He was cold, but it was so late in the summer, and that would have worried him if he wasn't so preoccupied by how sleepy he was getting. His eyes were growing heavier by the second, and every breath was beginning to feel like an uphill battle. Was he shivering? His mom had his jacket in case the night got cold on the way home, he wondered why she didn't put it on him before he left. Or maybe she'd just brought it with her...wherever she was now.

"Stay with us, now. Just a little longer." Grandmother soothed, her voice gentle and worn like the leather bracelets that Yunho admired when he went into town. He liked those, and he liked her voice too. "Bluebell, now."

Bluebell. The word repeated in his mind as he watched the child across the room jump into action. It sounded so pretty the way it rang in his ears.

"Bluebell," He repeated, he wasn't sure why, and it was so quiet that he could barely hear it. Then they looked at him with those eyes again. Maybe that was their name, it would be very well suited to them, he decided, so pretty. They were very pretty too. But not like flowers, he thought, like the rocks along the edge of the stream. Different, not so delicate and fragile as the flowers, special, something that he wanted to hold onto.

They passed something to their grandmother, a small jar of ground ingredients that she sprinkled into the discolored mush in her bowl. Then she mixed some more, asking for more jars and adding them to her odd mixture before moving closer to him.

"This might hurt," Bluebell said quietly. "You can hold my hand if you want to."

They offered their little hand to them, and Yunho took it in his. They must have been near the same age, but he was already big for his age. His parents said he'd be taller than his dad if he kept growing like this. He thought he'd like that a lot, being tall was very important to him at eight years old. He reached for their hand, holding it in his weakly on the table.

Blue watched on, caring eyes scanning his face for discomfort when Grandmother began applying the poultice to his wounds. He was weak, and tired, but even so he hissed at the burn and tried to squirm himself away, but he couldn't make it very far in his condition anyway. Grandmother shushed him, but not in the mean way that most adults shushed him, it sounded more like a comfort.

"Will he be okay?" Blue asked. Yunho's eyes were squeezed shut, and he gripped their hand a little tighter when they tried to pull it away. They didn't try to move again afterwards.

"He'll be alright. I'll wrap his wounds up and we'll let him rest for a while. I imagine he must be very tired now." Grandmother said. Yunho heard her begin to move around, cleaning up the messes she'd made. A hand stroked his hair, now damp with sweat and maybe a little bit of blood. "We'll get him cleaned up and fed when he wakes up. But for now, I think we best leave him alone."

"I don't want to leave him alone. Can I stay until it's time to eat?" Blue asked. It wouldn't really matter anymore, Yunho was already fast asleep on the bench, his hand relaxing in theirs. But their grandmother nodded anyway, a smile on her face. She was sure that Yunho would recover just fine with Bluebell at his side.

"You're, like, a really good person," Yunho said, settling back onto his friend's bed. Blue rolled their eyes. This was something that Yunho felt the need to tell them often. And, sure, it was nice being praised, but Blue didn't do this sort of thing for the praise or the gratitude. If anything, they did it because they felt obligated to. See, very few witches understood the intricacies of magic the way that they could. That meant that it was their responsibility to help how they could, to teach what they discovered, the things that they learned. Which was also part of why they always had tutoring slots open -- not that they really wanted to be teaching people who were most interested in cheating off their work. But Blue did it all, most importantly in their opinion, because they loved magic.

"Can you stop with that?" They said, pulling out a notebook that they'd filled with their goals for the week and scratching off a bullet point. "You praise me too much."

Yunho shrugged.

"I'm serious, though! You know that. I know a lot of people who wouldn't try half as hard as you do even if they were getting something out of it."

Blue was about to argue back when a knock sounded at their door. It was a sound that they sometimes dreaded, but this time they were relieved to have someone intervene and cut Yunho's rants short. They jumped up from their chair, stepping over Yunho's bookbag on the floor and opening the bedroom door.

"Hyung," Yunho said, surprise evident in his voice as he perked up from the other side of the room.

"What brings you here?" Blue asked, stepping aside to let the older man inside. Seonghwa looked breathtaking as he always did, maybe a side effect of being an Incubus, or maybe just sheer luck. He brushed his hand through his dark, wavy hair, looking between Yunho and Blue.

There weren't many things that weren't shared in Yunho's pack, very few secrets existed between the boys, so Blue knew it must be fairly severe for Seonghwa to be hesitating in front of the werewolf.

"Do you need to talk to me in private?" Blue asked. They didn't notice the way that Yunho started to sulk before the other man even got a chance to answer. He wasn't obsessed with Blue. They were, however, attached at the hip and had been for so long that most people found it unnatural being around only one of them or the other outside of classes. Everyone knew they were a package deal. If you wanted Blue, you could count on having to deal with Yunho. So Seonghwa shook his head.

"No, it's fine." He answered, making himself comfortable in the plush armchair pushed into the corner of Blue's dorm. The witch nodded, sitting back down at their desk. "I really hate to do this, I know you're always busy, but I think I might need your help Y/N."

They flipped to a new page in their notebook, already writing Seongwha's name at the top before looking back to him.

"What can I do for you?" They asked. To anyone else, it might have seemed clinical, but the upward tilt at the corner of their lips spoke volumes to their friends.

"I need a...I need something to help me not need to...feed so often." He explained, a pretty flush creeping up his neck as his dark eyes flickered to Yunho. Yunho choked on a flustered cough, dropping his gaze to his hands which were suddenly busying themselves with one of the plushies on Blue's bed. Blue, however, wasn't bothered in the least.

"And has the need been getting stronger lately?" They asked, jotting down a quick note on the page. "Or has this always been a problem for you? Not being able to have enough sex to satiate your hunger?"

It was clear that their lack of discomfort around the topic helped Seonghwa relax, an easy smile starting to creep onto his face.

"It's not been a problem before, not since I was a lot younger. But I'm reaching the peak maturity of a sex demon, it's about time for my hunger to peak, isn't it?" He pointed out. Blue nodded. "It wouldn't be a problem, but I'm too busy to be meeting the need. I just wanted to...improve my quality of life, I guess."

Blue gave another understanding hum, not that they had any experience with an Incubus' need for sex first hand, but they'd read about it plenty. Of course they had. Besides, they'd known Seonghwa since he'd met Yunho back when the two started at the University.

"Have you tried heat suppressants? That's what the nurses recommend, right?" It wasn't exactly the same, but it was supposed to have a similar effect.

"Yeah, I tried, but it didn't help. Just made me feel weird. Hongjoong said they made me smell weird." His nose crinkled at the idea of smelling bad. Blue laughed.

"So Hongjoong doesn't mind you trying to dial your sex drive back? I figured he'd be jumping at the opportunity to sleep with you more." They half scoffed. Hongjoong was a werewolf like Yunho, the leader of the pack. He'd first met Seonghwa during his rut and practically drove the rest of the pack members out of the dorm for a few days.

It made sense, really, for a hungry sex demon to be drawn to someone who couldn't be satiated. A match made in heaven, especially since they bonded not long after. As much as Blue didn't get along with Hongjoong, they made a good couple.

"With his extra class this semester he doesn't have time to keep up with me either." Seonghwa admitted. The two of them had an oddly competitive relationship, Blue chalked that up to Hongjoong being the overly intense, proud bastard that he was.

"Right, so heat suppressants are a no go, have you tried lust potions?" A dumb question considering he wouldn't be here if he hadn't already jumped through all the hoops already, but they had to ask anyway. Seonghwa nodded. "Alright, I'll try to figure something out. Just give me a bit of time. Yunho, library trip?"

The library was a place that both Blue and Yunho frequented, generally together, and generally tucked into the same study room they were in now. It was easier for them to work together behind locked doors where they couldn't be bothered or bother anyone else. There was a precarious stack of books sitting to Blue's left, and a handful more flipped open and spread out on the table. Their notebook was laid in front of them while Yunho slumped back in his chair, spinning his pen around his long fingers.

"So, what's the problem again?" He asked. Blue sighed, rubbing the bridge of their nose before turning back to the books.

"Incubi need sex to live. It feeds them, keeps their souls burning and tied to their bodies. Seonghwa is trying to find a way to obtain the energy he needs without actually having to have sex." They said, drumming their pen against the paper with a dull tap, tap, tap.

"Right. And that's difficult why exactly?"

"Well, if the heat suppressants didn't work, it means that he doesn't need to suppress the need to feed. He needs a supplement. Kinda like....a vitamin." They sat up straighter, pulling one of the books closer to them and flipping through a few pages. "But I'm not sure how to make a supplement for sex. Or if it's even possible."

Yunho took one of the books off the stack, a thick, heavy one on all sorts of advanced potions that he hadn't even begun to study yet. He traced a finger down the index page.

"If anyone can figure it out, it's you. What about a modified aphrodisiac potion?"

"Aphrodisiacs are known to stimulate Incubi hunger. It'll make it worse." They dismissed the idea.

"What if you, like, reversed the effects or something? Like you did for that one project last year."

Blue shook their head again. This did this often, posed a problem to Yunho and let him throw darts. He always missed, never really coming up with a helpful solution, but it did push Blue to think outside of the box, seeking ideas that they couldn't find on their own. And as far as Yunho was concerned, helping them by being incompetent about magic was still helping them and it still did wonders for his ego.

"There's ingredients that wouldn't work properly together. It could cause a lot of problems. I don't think I should be taking that risk unless we really can't figure out something better suited." They picked up a different book, beginning to flip through it.

"I was thinking maybe there's some sort of preexisting magic that we could...I don't know, harness, I guess? Concentrate and manipulate and use as ingredients. It might be difficult, but I don't think that simple ingredients are gonna cut it."

Blue slumped back in their chair, bringing the book closer to their face and scrunching up their nose as they tried to think. It was a habit that they'd had since they were just little, their entire face growing tight when they worked on something hard. It made Yunho want to reach out and smooth away the wrinkles, tell them to relax, remind them that they were downright brilliant and would get there if they just gave themselves time.

"Okay, what kind of magic do you think could help? I don't imagine nature magic could be of much use." He said, doodling on the cover of his own notebook.

"Maybe some sort of love or illusion magic. If I can concentrate that, pour it into a mix sort of like the fuel potion I made, it could act as a substitute for the type of energy they get from sex. Maybe a siren might be able to help? But I don't think there's a way to make that physical." They looked around, scanning the titles of the books they'd been tossing around carelessly. "Have you seen my book on-"

"Sirens and merpeople?" Yunho carefully shifted the books on the table until he could hand them the volume they were looking for. Blue thanked him in a barely there voice, flipping to a chapter about Siren magic. It had always fascinated them, it didn't work the way that most illusion magic did. It was like a spell cast by the Siren's bodies themselves. Nobody had been able to harness it, which led to a whole revolution some hundreds of years ago after a handful of revolts by Sirens in unjust magical study environments, a very nasty thing with lots of losses on both sides, though the Sirens had won their rights and their respect from it. So, all things considered, Blue really didn't expect to be the magical researcher to figure that one out, at least not at such a young age.

"Maybe a Cupid?" Yunho asked. It was an offhanded comment as he picked at a callous on his hand, but the lack of a response caught his attention. He watched with wide eyes as Blue's grin grew.

"Yunho, you might just be a genius." They said. "I'll need to talk to some people, see if they might be willing to transfer a couple samples to me. I haven't worked hands on with Cupid magic before, it's real unpredictable stuff. Hence all the stories and whatnot. They get their names from a truly tragic story, but you know all that already."

"Maybe Mingi can help. He should be back from visiting home soon." Yunho was still beaming from the praise, chest warm.

Yunho's relationship with Mingi was...complicated. They weren't boyfriends, not technically, and it was hard to say if either of them were properly in love with each other, but there was an unrivaled sort of affection there. They were happy when they were together, and they brought out the best in each other. So they were together often, not to mention they shared a room at the pack dorm. Most of the relationships between the pack were like that, hard to define and transcending the typical rules of friendship. They were based on the innate feeling that came from being together. Blue admired that, or maybe they craved that. It was sort of like how they were with Yunho after all the years together.

"Perfect. You'll let me know as soon as he's back, right?" Blue questioned, still flipping through their books. After all, it never hurt to have a backup plan, and a backup backup plan. So on and so forth, they were nothing if not prepared. Yunho just nodded quietly as if it were a dumb question to ask him.

As they continued reading up on all sorts of different magic that may or may not be an effective sex substitute, Blue found their will to stay awake dwindling. Their eyes were heavy, and a glance at the time told them that it was significantly later than they'd realized. It was a few more hours of groggy studying before their head dipped onto their arm, cheek squished against their forearm and eyes shut tight.

Yunho looked up from the essay he was working on about some book published about sixty years before he was born, a fond smile growing on his lips. This was another constant, almost as regular as their library study sessions. Blue was comfortable around Yunho in a way that they weren't with nearly anyone else. They let their guard down enough to find peace with him, to fall into rest even when they weren't trying to. Yunho never said anything about it, lord knows they needed the sleep.

So the two of them stayed put for a while longer, Yunho working on his project and Blue drooling just a little onto their arm. After another hour or so of them not stirring even a little bit, Yunho began to worry about them waking up stiff. So he packed up his things, and cleaned up as many of the books around them as he could without disturbing Blue's nap. Finally, once almost everything was put away, he shook them awake lightly. It took a couple of tries to get them to fully blink their eyes open, squinting up against the fluorescent lights.

"Morning, sleeping beauty." He teased, reaching to brush their hair back into place while they rubbed their eyes. It damn near made his heart ache seeing them like this. It always reminded him of when they were little kids and he'd stop by their house to pick them up on the walk to school. "Do you wanna go back to yours or stay at my place for the night?"

With Mingi gone, there was nobody sharing his room back at the Pack's dorm so, like he generally did, he invited Blue to stay the night. It was closer anyway.

"We can go back to my dorm. Don't wanna bother the pack."

They both knew what that really meant; They didn't want to see Hongjoong in the morning. Despite Blue having a close relationship with everyone in the back, and Hongjoong being in charge, the two of them could never seem to get along. Blue had really tried at first, it was important for Yunho to have a pack and they'd never want to stand in the way of that. Still, no matter how much Yunho played the buffer, the two just couldn't be around each other. So he didn't argue, just stood up and shrugged.

"I'll go put these books on the return cart. Meet you out there, okay?" He easily scooped up the stack of books from the table, piled concerningly high, and managed to nudge the door open.

Blue moved slowly, their body weighed down with grogginess and their brain refusing to focus. Their mind was fogged over with sleep and the fading warmth that hung around with it. But soon enough all of their things were neatly organized in their bag and they found Yunho waiting right where he said he would.

The walk back to Blue's apartment was short, but it was taking longer with them dragging their feet. Yunho silently arranged his backpack to sit against the front of him, crouching down to pick Blue up on his back. Normally they argued, but they never said no to a piggy back ride. This time they didn't even speak as they climbed onto his back and let him take their weight.

Winter was just around the corner, and the late fall air bit at their cheeks and their fingertips. Blue hated the cold, but luckily Yunho played personal space heater, more than happy to hold them close and warm their cold hands in his own.

When they got back, it was late enough into the night that all of Blue's own roommates were asleep besides Yeji, but her nocturnal nature always kept her up more often than she would have liked. But even she was tucked into her room for the night when the door code chimed them in. It was easy for the two to move in unison, taking their shoes off and making for Blue's bedroom. Yunho continued inside, finding clothes in the dresser drawer devoted to him while Blue detoured to the bathroom.

Nights like this were easy, space shared in comfortable silence as they both got ready to sleep. They worked around each other like a well oiled machine, Blue washing their face while Yunho brushed his teeth next to them, taking turns getting changed. Impromptu sleepovers were almost over-practiced. So as Yunho climbed into Blue's bed, taking his side by the wall and waiting for them to finish up, he didn't feel anything less than at home surrounded by the scent of them. Blackberry and vanilla and warm musk cutting the sweetness surrounded him, as it should be in his mind. It was his favorite scent, a vast ocean of Blue that he set himself afloat in, washed away in the calm waves.

When Blue finally came back, they were wrapped in one of Yunho's shirts, face glowy from being freshly washed and eyelids growing heavy with sleep again. They climbed into the bed next to him, and even in his half asleep state, Yunho welcomed them into his arms. He nuzzled his nose against their hair once they'd gotten comfortable. Blue's presence calmed him down from even the worst moods. They smelled like home, and Blue was the closest thing to home that Yunho had anyways.

"Go to sleep," They mumbled, almost as if they could sense the way his mind was sinking dangerously into memories of the past. Thinking about his childhood had a habit of keeping Yunho awake at night more often than he cared to admit, but Blue could read him like a book. They saw through him when he'd act like he got enough sleep, or when he'd wake up beside them and insist it wasn't because of a nightmare.

"I will. You first," He said. And generally they would argue, they always did with their endlessly caring nature, but they couldn't find the energy to argue this time. They closed their eyes, relaxing next to him.

Yunho laid there for a while, idly stroking Blue's arm until he was sure they'd fallen asleep next to him. Then he was alone with his thoughts, a dangerous pastime. When he was alone with his thoughts, the guilt started to set in all over again. There was a familiar feeling of missing what could have been so badly that it ached settling into his bones, and for a moment it was like he couldn't breathe at all with how heavy it sat on his chest.

The first time that Blue slept beside Yunho was nearly a year after they first met. It was late evening, and he'd been laying in his room at their grandmother's house since morning. He'd gotten much more used to the moons, but sometimes it still brought out a side of him that he was afraid of, a side of him that reminded him on the night he'd lost everything. His home, his family, his humanity.

That was the thought that made him curl in on himself, tears running down his face. He was old enough now that it felt embarrassing to cry like this, so desperately. Nevertheless, the sobs shook his body and his tears stained the pillow under his head. His entire body was still aching from the transformation even after he took the tonic he'd been given.

He'd known Blue was there when he came, but he was too ashamed to face them, too exhausted. He felt like a monster all over again, he shouldn't be trusted to be near anyone, let alone someone who wouldn't hurt a fly. He shivered in the bed then, the only light shining in was from the waning moon through the window, casting the room in an eerie, silvery glow that sent a shock of terror through Yunho's body.

He heard the door creak open, and he buried himself even deeper beneath the worn blanket. He could smell them, the familiar scent signaling the identity of his visitor. He wasn't used to that still, how intense all of his senses were now. It had given him migraines for several months until he adjusted to it. Grandmother said that they'd fade with time. He hadn't had anyone else to ask, so he'd just had to grit his teeth and trust her.

"Yun?" Blue whispered, closing the door behind them and tiptoeing closer to his bedside. "I brought your medicine. You should take it if you're awake."

They sat at the end of the bed, tentatively reaching out to touch his leg, checking to see if he was awake. He jumped nearly out of the bed at the touch. His eyes were so big and round and filled with a terror that made Blue pout.

"Did I scare you? I'm sorry." They held out the vial like a peace offering. Yunho took it with shaky hands.

"You should go," He said, fumbling with the cork in the vial. Blue reached out, touching his hand gently to move it aside and opening the vial for him. He drank the liquid, wincing at the bitterness coating his throat. "It's not safe with me."

Blue furrowed their brow, taking the vial from him and setting it on the table by the bed.

"My grandmother wouldn't let you stay here if you were dangerous," They said, voice entirely matter-of-fact. "Besides, you're just a kid. You can't be so dangerous."

"I'm a werewolf," He argued.

"Yeah, but you're a boy too. And your transformation won't happen again for a month. So I don't think you're very dangerous as just a boy." They poked at his arm as if testing to see if he was stronger than they thought. He was, but they didn't mention anything about that. "You should sleep, you know. You need a lot of rest to recover, that's what my grandmother says."

They were so young, not yet ten, but they spoke like they knew so much more about the world than he did. He nodded. And maybe he knew back then that he'd follow them wherever they led him.

"Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?" They asked. Yunho hesitated. He didn't want to be alone, but more than that, he wasn't sure if he trusted himself. Blue must have seen the dilemma he was having written across his face, because they shooed him over on the bed and laid down beside him. "Close your eyes."

He did as they said, closing his eyes and breathing them in. They reached out, stroking his hair out of his face like his mother used to, like their grandmother did too.

"I'll stay, you don't have to worry. Just sleep now."

It was such a confident statement, and his mind and heart were yearning to believe it. So he closed his eyes, and Blue fell asleep before he did. Even so, he didn't run away. How could he?

Several more days of tireless research and experiment followed their long night at the library, and several more requests from classmates were filled by Blue in between classes, and homework, and little dates with Yunho at their favorite cafes and the arcade that he frequented with the boys. Finally, Mingi came back from his time away, and Blue was kicking their brain back into high gear.

Yunho was still in class when Blue made it to the pack's dorm, and Blue triple checked the schedule in their phone to make sure that Mingi would be home. They knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it. However, several moments passed by with nobody acknowledging their presence. So they knocked again, louder and longer this time. They'd barely managed to pull their hand away from the door when it swung open. On the other side was Hongjoong, quite possibly the only person in the entire world that simply couldn't stand Blue by presence alone.

"Yunho isn't home yet," He said, moving to let the door close in their face, but Blue pressed their palm against the wood.

"I'm not here for Yunho."

A flicker of confusion, and maybe frustration, washed across Hongjoong's pixieish features as he silently questioned what could have brought them there besides Yunho. Hongjoong wasn't a bad person, at least anyone who knew him well believed that to be true, but he was viciously protective. Much to his chagrin, Blue liked to joke that he was an under-trained guard dog, and he supposed it made some kind of sense. He didn't like feeling like his emotions were out of control, which meant he didn't like having new people in his space. Usually the pack kept their friends and flings out of the dorm, not entirely to keep them away from Hongjoong, but they wouldn't say it was entirely unrelated. But Yunho and Blue had been together for so long that separating them was an act of cruelty, even for Hongjoong.

"Why are you here, then?"

"Is Mingi here? I had a few questions about Cupids, and Yunho said he got home last night." Blue took a step closer in hopes that Hongjoong would move enough to let them in. Unfortunately, he was just as stubborn as they were. He didn't budge, leaving them intimidatingly and uncomfortably close to each other. Despite Hongjoong's relatively small stature, the aura about him was enough to send shivers down anyone's spine. Blue crossed their arms over their chest.

"He just got back, he should have time to relax. He hasn't been home in a while. Besides, don't you spend all of your time with your nose in a book? Can't you get your information from that? Since when do you ask for help?" He scoffed, lips turning up into a sinister smirk. The one he always got when he felt challenged. Blue had been dealing with Hongjoong's inexplicable prejudice for long enough to know that he was all bark and no bite.

"What better way to learn than from the source? But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that. I've never even seen you pick up a book." They pressed even closer, and the way their scent wrapped around him and the warmth of their skin radiated against him was enough to knock Hongjoong back a couple of steps, leaving room for Blue to step past him.

Hongjoong made a sound in his throat, one that couldn't quite be considered a growl, though it still made the hairs on Blue's arms raise. They kicked off their shoes and made themselves at home like they always did. Hongjoong tried not to snap. It wasn't even entirely Blue's fault, the moon was coming around, and he always got unreasonable this time of the cycle. Especially when someone he didn't want around was invading his home.

"Whatever. He's in his room, go bother him instead of me." He returned to the sitting area, flopping into the plush armchair with his phone.

"Whatever you say, Alpha," Blue said, not giving him a chance to bite back before heading for Yunho and Mingi's room.

Getting the pack all together in one dorm had been an ordeal that Hongjoong and Seonghwa had fought through tooth and nail during Blue and Yunho's second year at the University. They'd petitioned the board, claiming that having the pack be separated was detrimental to their health and, in turn, their ability to attend their classes and be upstanding students. It wasn't untrue in the least, being apart from the pack was hard on them all, especially those from pack-oriented species, and the school would have been stupid to fight them and risk stepping on a law or two in the process.

So, the boys had been moved into one of the largest dorms on campus, a four bedroom accommodation with two full bathrooms and a decent kitchen. The living room was a little cramped, but none of them ever minded. As such, all the boys were stacked two to a room, but that tended to work in their favor anyway.

Blue knocked on the door, waiting for the deep cadence of Mingi's voice to invite them in before turning the handle. The Cupid was sitting on his bed, wrapped in a cozy looking hoodie with his platinum hair falling unstyled in his face. When he saw Blue, a grin split his face. The two of them were fairly close given the relationships they'd both built with Yunho.

"Hey Mingi," They greeted, sitting down on Yunho's bed opposite him. "I hope I'm not interrupting you. Yunnie said he'd make sure you made time for me, but I don't wanna bug you."

Mingi shook his head, fingers fidgeting with the charm hanging on his phone case, a gift from Blue for his birthday - imbued with an anti-anxiety charm.

"You're not bothering me, don't worry. I'm not sure what you needed me for, though."

"I'm trying to work on something for a friend, but I'm coming up short. I was thinking that maybe if you teach me about Cupid magic I might be able to figure it out." They explained, flashing a sickeningly sweet smile at him, the one that made people melt to their will.

"Me?" Mingi was surprised, but Blue nodded adamantly.

"Yes, you. You're one of the only people I know that's patient enough to stand me. Plus, you're my favorite Cupid. But don't tell Channie, he'd be so sad." They laughed, fishing in their bag for a notebook and a pen. "So, can you tell me how it works?"

The next half an hour was Mingi trying and sort of failing to explain how Cupids harnessed their magic to guide people to each other. It was an essence, he explained, showing them the shimmering magic that he could produce. It played sort of like a pheromone but in spell form, a magical component of attraction that emulated the feeling of falling in love with someone. Even just being in the presence of Mingi as he let the pink haze sparkle between his palms was making Blue's mind feel a little bit strange. 

Blue reached out, feeling the way the air around the magic pulsed and plucked the magic from Mingi's hand, willing it into their own palm. That was another thing that Blue picked up easily, the manipulation of unfamiliar magic. It was, if they were to be completely transparent, the only reason that they excelled so heavily in their classes. Magic seemed to obey them in a way that it didn't for most people. They swirled the mist around their fingers before drawing a bottle from their bag to cast it into. They watched the way it moved, calm and slow like a miniature galaxy wrapped up in glass.

"You're the best, Mingi. I might be back if I need more help figuring it out. Is that okay?" They asked as they stood up. Mingi got up with them, stretching his arms over his head.

"Please, when have I ever said no to you? You can come over whenever." He said, a shy, sincere smile rising on his face. See, Yunho had a soft spot for Blue, and Ming had a soft spot for Yunho, so what the three of them shared was particularly special. Blue was grateful for it, the knowledge that they could trust Mingi the same way that they did Yunho, and that Mingi would always take care of him if Blue wasn't able to. They smiled at him, reaching out to squeeze his hand before heading for the door with the Cupid hot on their heels.

"I should go. Lots of work to do. But I'll let you know how this goes? We can grab coffee or something?" They said, situating their bag back on their shoulder and sliding their shoes on at the door. They spared a smile and a wave over to where Yeosang and wooyoung were cuddled up in their makeshift movie night nest. "And don't forget about game night at my place on Friday. Everyone's invited, Yunho's idea. Let me know who all is coming."

And with that Blue was back on their way, leaving the building with a bounce in their step as they headed home to pour themselves into Seonghwa's supplement.

It was another two days before Yunho saw Blue, far too long as far as he was concerned. Which was why he turned up at their door, being greeted at the door by one of their roommates on the way out. She smiled and let him in before closing the door behind herself. Their other two roommates were playing some video game in the sitting room, bickering aimlessly about something as they tended to be when he came in. They paused long enough to say hi and tell him that Blue was still cooped up in their room. 

"Can you bring them something to eat? I don't think they've been out since last night." One of them added. He was sweet, a guardian angel with visuals more like a pixie, and he had a habit of keeping his watchful eye on his friends.

"Thanks, Woong." Yunho sighed, grateful that he’d already planned ahead. He knew well that Blue had a habit of locking into whatever project they were working on and completely forgetting their own basic needs.

He didn't bother knocking on the door, knowing they wouldn't answer, expecting it to be one of their roommates checking up on them. He let himself in, and even upon realizing that it was Yunho, Blue didn't look up from the elaborate spread of materials set up on the desk.

"Yunnie, sorry I didn't answer your messages. Been busy," They said, finally sparing a glance and a tired smile over their shoulder. They looked downright exhausted, but that spark in their eye was burning brighter than ever.

"You're almost done now?" He asked, recognizing the look. They were pushing through the last leg now, more determined than they were when they started. He held out the container of food he'd packed from home for them, and they took it. Immediately they set it to the side, returning to stirring the miniature cauldron sitting on their desk.

"I think so. Just a few more minutes, then I can add in the final ingredients and then....I think it'll be all done after that." They smiled, that wholeheartedly proud one that made Yunho feel like his chest was being lit on fire. "Do you wanna try it for me? I wanna make sure I didn't add too much of the Cupid magic concentrate."

The average person may have shied away from being used as a glorified magical lab rat, but Blue was nothing if not diligent, and Yunho had tried so many potions and spells for them that he knew he could trust them with his well-being. Barring the time that they accidentally made his skin start turning blue, but that was apparently some sort of magical allergy. So he nodded and moved to sit down out of their way.

"Do you think it'll still work if I'm not a sex demon? Shouldn't you ask Soyeon or someone to help you out?" He asked. They held up a hand for him to pause, sprinkling a dark powder into the mixture and chanting a few words over it. Once they were done, they spun in their chair to face him.

"It should be enough to see if its intended effects are strong enough. And then I can ask Seonghwa to help me tweak it from there. But I just wanna get it to him as soon as I can. He really seems to be struggling with this."

Yunho scrunched up his nose. From the amount of nights he'd had to sleep with headphones on, it didn't sound like Seonghwa was suffering exactly, but he didn't feel the need to divulge that. Blue turned back to the potion, pouring a small bit of it into a tiny cup and offering it to him.

"Drink. It might still be a little warm, and it probably tastes like ass, but that's what this is for." They explained, offering up a piece of candy along with the potion. He hesitated, looking down at the cup full of deep maroon liquid. He swirled it around the cup before caving under his best friend's heavy gaze. He took a breath, then threw the potion back in one swift move, swallowing it as quickly as he could and trying desperately not to gag at the taste that coated the inside of his mouth. The candy followed quickly after, easing the horror he'd experienced.

"And what exactly is this supposed to do?" He asked, even as he felt a creeping warmth running through him.

"Make you feel like you've just had an orgasm, basically. That afterglow, you know? Sexual satisfaction. That's the feeling that Seonghwa feeds off of." They said it so nonchalantly that Yunho nearly choked. He was no virgin, but he wasn't even sure that he could put a finger on that feeling that Blue was describing. "I would try it for myself, but sometimes I sort of...wish my magic into working on myself. But I haven't managed to do that with anyone else. Not yet."

Yunho was trying to listen, but he was too distracted by the heat radiating through him, the relaxation tugging at his muscles. He shivered, humming out a pleased little sigh. His head felt a little heavy, and his body almost ached with the feeling of relief.

"Yeah, I think it's working." He said. Blue looked over, jotting down a quick note about the way that his face had flushed in their notebook, and Yunho couldn't tell the dull shock of vulnerability apart from the faded shivers of pleasure that thrummed through him. There was something about being so openly observed in that state that he couldn't exactly explain, so he was grateful that they didn't ask.

"Good. We can deliver this tomorrow. Don't think I feel up to the Pack right now," They admitted. Yunho had closed his eyes, leaning back against the wall. He definitely understood that. Despite their sometimes excitable roommates, Blue's dorm was much calmer than his own. Maybe that was a small part of why he escaped to their room so often. Second, always, to spending time with Blue.

"Sure, whatever you want babe." He agreed, opening his eyes to look at them. Blue nearly startled at how dark his gaze was, weighing heavy on them. "How long is this thing supposed to last?"

"A few more minutes. Shouldn't be longer than 30?" They didn't sound sure about that, and Yunho shook his head in disbelief.

"Why do I let you do your little experiments on me, again?"

Blue opened the container of food, finally beginning to eat and setting Yunho's mind at ease.

"Because you love me so much that you'd do anything for me. Duh."

Right. Duh.

Days at the Pack House were always full of chaos. Even the most normal days like this one had a lot going on. To be expected when you had a dorm full of young men of supernatural descent. It was almost time for the moon, which meant that Yunho's anxiety was peaked, and that time of the month was when Blue spent the most time at the dorms. Which, coincidentally, was when Hongjoong spent the most time out of the dorm. Surely unrelated, Yunho insisted, but Blue knew better. And, quite frankly, they were silently grateful for his absence. One moody werewolf was more than enough for them.

But Hongjoong being out when he was at his most vulnerable, or at least at his most volatile, usually meant that Seonghwa went with him to keep him out of trouble. So Blue became something of a dorm mother, helping to keep everything tidy and keep everyone fed.

 It was a good thing for them too, they figured, kept them from diving too deep into their work when they should be taking care of themselves. Surrounding themselves with people who took care of them in return instead of other students who just treated them as some sort of magical ATM was - unsurprisingly - good for their mental health. They sighed, stirring the fried rice they were prepping for everyone's lunches.

Meal prepping wasn't on the metaphorical list of responsibilities for them, but it was a comfort that they found. And Seonghwa let them since it meant everyone was being pampered. So they carefully packed the pork they'd cooked earlier into containers while waiting for the rice to finish up. Meanwhile, San had coaxed Wooyoung and Jongho into playing a game with him in the living room, the entire dorm filled with sounds from the screen and the shouting between the three. Yeosang was curled up in his favorite chair, supposedly working for a project coming due in one of his classes, but his eyes hadn't left the other boys in ages. Blue smiled fondly.

Being with the pack felt like coming home. They'd never had much family. Their parents were always busy, away saving lives and solving problems as part of various magic councils, and their grandmother was generally busy with work, though they spent much of their time working together. So, for a long time, it had really just been Blue and Yunho. Having so many other people treat them like they were part of something laid a blanket of belonging around Blue's shoulders, one they wouldn't trade for the world.

As Blue looked around the living room, the only boys unaccounted for were Mingi and Yunho, likely cooped up together in their room like they generally were when Yunho wasn't feeling his best. Blue remembered how jealous they'd been when Mingi first came stumbling into their lives, watching their other half be swooped up in a whirlwind of someone else. But now they were just grateful. Mingi was all too familiar with anxiety, so it was easy for him to help Yunho when Blue was busy.

Yunho was, in fact, curled up against Mingi's frame, their long limbs tangled together. The low, thrumming ache in his bones was really starting to settle in now with less than two days to the full moon, and his moods were becoming unstable which, as always, led to the usually bright natured boy turning into a recluse in fear of hurting one of his pack mates. They never deserved his attitude, and they were always patient with him, but he'd hurt Wooyoung's feelings one too many times to feel comfortable spending time with them in this state.

Mingi ran his fingers through the other boy's hair, picking up easily on the tension that was building in his body.

"Stop thinking so much," Mingi mumbled. Yunho tucked his head under Mingi's chin with a quiet, puppy-like whine, breathing in the familiar strawberries and cream scent that rolled off of him. It was almost sickeningly sweet, all Cupids tended to be, but he didn't mind it in the least. It blended well with the cologne that he wore, turning the sharp edges smooth on Yunho's senses. He toyed with the hem of Mingi's shirt, seeking something to do with his hands.

A knock came at the door, and Mingi granted them entrance with a soft but gruff 'what?'. Yunho buried his face deeper into his chest, pressing himself somehow even closer. But then Blue was there, leaning over the both of them to stroke Yunho's cheek.

"Wanted to check on your guys. I made extra food in case you're hungry." They said, voice soft like silk in the calm air, nearly lulling Yunho into a trance. This was maybe his favorite place to be. "We're gonna watch a movie while everyone eats so maybe Wooyo will settle down. Jongho is antagonizing him again."

Yunho shook his head. The young banshee's shrieks were already too loud in his ears with plenty of space and a closed door between them. He didn't really feel like facing them head on. Neither Blue nor Mingi argued. Blue leaned down, pressing a kiss to the crown of Yunho's head.

"Alright, well, I'll bring some food anyway. Just in case."

They left, and Yunho felt his chest ache as if it were going to cave in at the distance between them. He always got like this, helplessly clingy with Blue - and sort of with Mingi too, but never like he was with Blue. But they'd been there for him since early on, more than anyone else in his life, and it was as if his entire being knew that there was nobody he could trust the way he trusted Blue.

"They worry about you, you know." Mingi said, pulling away enough to look down at Yunho. The werewolf didn't answer, but his brows pulled together as he thought. He didn't like the idea of making them worry, but he knew that much was out of his control. He'd tried his best to act normal, but it was hard when everything was too loud and every touch made his skin crawl, and his bones felt like they were shattering in his body on some nights. But Blue didn't need to worry about him, he told them that time and time again, but they never listened.

"They shouldn't. They know it's going to happen every month," He grumbled, voice still hardly audible in the room.

"But that's never stopped us. I mean, if you're suffering, it makes sense that they want to fix it. Fixing things is what they do. And you're the person that matters the most to them in the world."

The words weighed on his mind. Of course he knew that the two of them were close, and he wouldn't hesitate to say that they were the most important person in the world to him, a part of his own personal pack as far as he was concerned, but it hadn't fully occurred to him that maybe they felt the same way about him.

"What are you thinking about?" Mingi asked. Yunho didn't get a chance to answer because Blue came back then with two plates of food for them, setting them both carefully on Mingi's desk which was pushed up against the wall between their beds.

"Get some rest. I'll check in one more time when I get ready to go home." They reached down, brushing Yunho's hair from his forehead to press another chaste kiss there, and any thought in his mind was immediately silenced. And just like that they were gone, and the sliver of light from the hallway disappeared, and that ache was back again, and every thought in his mind was so loud that it felt like his head would burst.

"I don't know what I'd do without them." He answered after another few moments of quiet. "It hurts so bad when they're not here with me. I don't want to feel that way."

"Then don't be without them."

Mingi leaned down, pressing a short kiss to Yunho's head, right over where Blue had left theirs, before letting him curl up again, holding him close to his chest.

It was several hours later when Seonghwa dragged Hongjoong home for some rest. He was exhausted, and irritable more than anything. His mood swings were worse than Yunho's, and he had a tendency to hyperfocus even more than usual before the full moon, like his mind could only handle one thought at a time. When they got back, he couldn't even bother saying hi to the rest of his pack - and Blue - who were sprawled out around the living room. The scent of a freshly cooked meal still lingered in the dorm, and the noise from the television was enough to give him a headache, so he headed straight for their room with Seonghwa hot on his heels.

Blue didn't give it a second thought until the end of the movie. It was getting late enough that they should leave soon, or crash on the couch which was always an open invitation in the dorm. But, before that, they headed for Seonghwa's room. They knocked on the door lightly, trying not to bother Hongjoong too much while he rested. When the door opened, it seemed they hadn't succeeded, because Hongjoong stood on the other side, his hair tousled as if he'd been asleep, but his eyes were heavy enough that Blue knew he wasn't getting any rest. If he had just a little more patience for them, they'd have been happy to help him remedy that. There were about a million concoctions to help him sleep.

"Really?" He snapped, a growl rumbling in his chest.

"Calm down, Alpha, I'm just here to give this to Seonghwa. I'll be out of your hair in no time." They said, Despite their teasing words, they were gentle with their tone, much like they were trying to soothe a feral puppy.

"I asked them to come, you can let them in." Seonghwa said. Hongjoong's dark gaze stayed on Blue before he was sulking back off to his desk, the several tabs open on his laptop stealing his attention again. Blue closed the door behind them, letting the darkness engulf the room again, aside from the color shifting LED lights casting slow, colorful stretches of light around the room.

"Here," Blue handed him the bottle. "Drink about a shot once a day and we'll see how it works for you. Just text me about any side effects or anything unusual. Or if it doesn't help anything at all. Then we can work on it a little more until it's just right."

Seonghwa smiled, setting the jar of liquid down.

"You're an absolute lifesaver, you know that? There's nobody like you." He told them. Blue laughed, shrugging off the compliment.

"I just do what I can do. But I have class in the morning, and I think your little wolf might be getting sick of me. I'll see you later, yeah?"

Without another word, Blue saw themselves out of the boys' room, closing the door behind them and stopping by to say goodbye to Yunho and Mingi one more time. They were relieved to see the dishes wiped clean of food. They kissed Yunho's cheek, then Mingi's, and said goodnight.

The next day was going on like any other, about a billion notes spread in front of them on their desk as the professor droned on about the magical compounds that formed celestial magic, and the complex history of divination amongst the human world using them. It would have been fascinating if Professor Lim wasn't such a jumbled teacher. But Blue took notes anyway, copying down everything they wrote onto a separate copy for Yunho who was missing class for the next couple of days until he was feeling well again. The full moon was only one sleep away, and the University was always more than accommodating for those with disabilities, magical or otherwise.

It was in the middle of the last class of the day, a more laid back one thankfully, that Blue's phone started buzzing on their desk. They picked it up quickly, silencing the call. Nobody paid it any mind, but being the definition of a picture perfect student that they were, Blue was mortified. They declined the call from Wooyoung, sending a text that they were in class and would call back later. They were granted another couple of minutes of peace before their phone began to buzz again. They huffed, putting down their pen and declining another call from Wooyoung. The third time, they had half a mind to block him, but a glance at their phone stopped them in their tracks.

It was Hongjoong's number this time, their screen lit up with 'whiny wolf' written across it. They froze, mind coming up with about a hundred terrible options for what could be happening. Hongjoong didn't just call to chit-chat with people, least of all with them. Maybe to ask about some stubborn bit of magic he was dealing with, but he was much too proud to ask them for help with that. It had to be Yunho, he had a habit of getting terribly sick before his transformations, too overwhelmed with his pain and anxiety until he'd worked his body up into a tizzy.

They shoved their phone in their pocket, messily gathering their notes and slipping them into their bag. They stood up, chair scraping against the floor, but they didn't care about that as they took the lecture hall steps as fast as they could. Everyone was working on their respective assignments, so it wasn't too much of an interruption as they explained that there was a family emergency to their professor and booked it into the hall.

They pulled their phone out, the device frantically vibrating in their palm all over again. They swiped to accept the call, pressing it to their ear as they walked fast enough that they were almost running.

"Hongjoong, what the hell is going on? I was in class, what happened?" They hissed, though it was hardly angry. Their mind was too full of worst case scenarios to make room for the usual reactions that they saved for him.

"Get over here now. I don't know what you did, but you're dead, do you hear me?" He growled. Blue was somehow left with more questions than answers as the line went dead. But even so, they knew how protective he was over his pack, they remembered the way he'd ripped into one of the older students for trying to take advantage of Yeosang's sweet disposition to use his magic.

So they picked up their pace, running across campus to the pack dorm, then taking the stairs in hopes that it would counter the elevator wait time. By the time they made it to the door they were breathless, chest aching as their heart pounded against the ribcage. They banged on the door, and a moment later Jongho opened it for them.

"Seonghwa-hyung. He's not doing great. Hongjoong-hyung has been flying off the handle all day," He said, closing the door behind them while they kicked their shoes off and immediately started down the hall. Of all the outcomes they'd imagined, they'd never even begun to consider something being wrong with Seonghwa. Maybe they should have grabbed their medical kit on the way, they thought, but they'd been far too frantic to think ahead.

They knocked on the door, barely finishing before it was tanked open. Hongjoong grabbed their wrist, dragging them inside and slamming the door shut behind them.

"What the fuck did you do him?" He asked, backing Blue into the door. They clenched their fists. They knew that fighting him wasn't the answer when he was like this, especially with his transformation coming. He wouldn't hesitate to hurt them. They nudged past him as gently as they could, walking over to the bed where Seonghwa was laying down, skin shining with a light sheen of sweat. They reached out, brushing his dark hair back to lay a hand to his forehead.

"What's wrong with him? He has a fever, what else?" They asked, pulling out their notebook to jot down his condition. "When did all of this start?"

"He hasn't been able to eat, he could barely stand up. He's...he's weak and exhausted." Hongjoong was pacing now as Blue held their hands above the Incubus' head, muttering a soothing spell under their breath and letting the magic seep into him. "It was after he took that fucking potion or whatever it is that you brought. The suppressant or whatever the hell."

"The supplement? Do you know how much he took?" They stood up, brushing their hands off on their thighs and turning to where the jar was sitting on the bedside. It looked like he'd taken what they'd instructed, a problem with the magic then.

"What you told him to. You're gonna fucking kill him." Hongjoong snapped, baring his teeth while his eyes flickered dangerously. "I told him not to trust your shady magic, but he swore up and down that everyone trusted you, that Yunho tried all your shit and he came out fine."

He scoffed, and Blue crossed their arms.

"I know that you're worried about him, but I need you to work with me here. If you want him to get better any time soon, then you need to calm down. Breathe." Their voice was calm, imbued with a light magical air to try and bring him down. They had enough experience with trying to talk down a wild animal.

"Don't tell me to calm down until your mate is dying and you can't do anything about it. You don't get to do that." He said, voice strained and eyes wild when he looked at them. Nevertheless, he took a deep breath, his fists unclenching at his sides and his frantic pacing coming to a halt.

"Has he had anything to drink?" Hongjoong nodded. "And he's not eaten anything, right? When's the last time the two of you had sex?"

Hongjoong growled then, a real one. He took a few menacing steps towards Blue, but they still didn't back down, tilting their chin up.

"I wouldn't ask for my own fun. I need to know. How long's it been?"

"A couple of days."

"He needs to feed. As soon as possible. Has he been responsive today?" They asked, turning back to Seonghwa. His face was scrunched up like he was in pain, quiet sounds of discomfort coming from his lips, albeit weak and barely there. If it weren't for that, they might not even know that he was conscious at all. "Hwa, baby, can you open your eyes for me?"

He blinked a few times, eyes burning red like they did when his Incubus spirit was taking over. Blue stroked his cheek, tilting his head to get a peek at his teeth where his fangs were beginning to form. Another sign that he was slipping into demon form involuntarily, losing his grip on his own being.

"I know this is awful, but just stay with us for a bit, okay? Gonna make you feel better, I promise. Hongjoongie is here too, he's not gonna let anything happen to you." They cooed sweetly, still emitting that barely noticeable soothing spell.

"I don't know what will happen if he doesn't feed," Blue said, looking over their shoulder at Hongjoong. "I haven't treated an Incubus this far gone before."

Before they could process what was happening, Hongjoong had pinned them to the wall, one hand pressed to their throat and the other arm laid against their shoulders. His gaze was burning through them, something barely contained flickering behind his irises, and Blue immediately felt their stomach drop.

"If he dies, you die next. I don't give a single shit what Yunho has to say about it. You won't step foot near my pack ever again." He growled. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted you from the moment I met you."

Blue refused to flinch away, refused to close their eyes, refused to let the odd mixture of emotions burning inside of them set them ablaze. So they stared him down, slowly inhaling through their nose and ignoring the way that Hongjoong's grip around their throat was beginning to make them feel lightheaded.

"If he dies, it's going to be because you're too pissed to help him." They said, trying to sound calm even when their voice came out tight. "You're fighting the wrong battle right now, Hongjoong. Focus."

There was a beat, then another, and Blue swore that their vision was beginning to tunnel before Hongjoong let go. Then his entire body weight pulled away from them, and they collapsed to the floor. The room was spinning as sucked in a deep, ragged breath and immediately lost it again as they coughed. Their fingers curled against the carpet, trying to regain the sense of confidence that they'd had before this.

It was true, if Seonghwa died, it was all their fault. Hell, if Seonghwa died they could have their magic stripped away all together. If Seonghwa died, their entire life was over. The Pack would never forgive them, not even Yunho, and Blue wouldn't forgive themselves either. They needed to stop panicking, they needed to think. Surely Seonghwa feeding would help, but if it didn't help enough, then what the hell came next? Could a professional fix whatever it was that they'd broken? Should they try to call someone for help?

While Blue curled into themselves on the floor, Hongjoong moved to Seonghwa's side, every ounce of aggressive body language melting into something delicate and careful. He leaned down, pressing a slow kiss to Seonghwa's lips before pushing his hands up under Seonghwa's shirt, dragging it up his torso and then guiding him up enough to take it off.

"Joong," Seonghwa whined, and Hongjoong shushed him with another kiss, his tongue dipping into his lover's mouth and tracing against the sharp points of his fangs.

"It's okay, I'm here. We're gonna fix it." Hongjoong promised, moving down to make quick work of Seonghwa's sweatpants, tugging them down and leaving him in his boxers. His hand ghosted up, tracing over the outline of Seonghwa's cock. "See? Gonna take care of you."

Hongjoong sat back, stripping his upper half and silently cursing the fact that he was still turned on in a situation like that when every part of his being should be taken over by worry. But then Seonghwa was reaching out, grabbing for him weakly, his long fingers curling around Hongjoong's wrist and pulling his hand to run down Seonghwa's toned stomach. Hongjoong huffed out a noise, palming his mate's desperate cock over the absolutely useless cotton of his underwear.

"Gotta let me get my pants off, pet. Just hang on, not gonna leave." Hongjoong promised. He shuffled around, pushing the bottom half of his clothes off in a series of swift movements and kicking them aside.

It was the sound of his jeans thudding to the ground that pulled Blue out of the panic in their mind. With wide, shaken eyes they looked up to see the expanse of Hongjoong's bare back, the dip of his waist down to the curve of his completely naked ass, all on display in front of them. They scrambled back, bracing themselves against the wall and dragging themselves up to their feet. The scene in front of them had them breathless all over again, and a terrible blend of disgust and anxiety and searing arousal began pulsing through them.

Hongjoong maneuvered Seonghwa's legs around his waist once the two of them were fully naked, spitting lewdly into his palm and stroking Seonghwa's length. He was already leaking onto his stomach, arching against the bed and whimpering at the slightest touch. Just from jacking him off, Hongjoong was feeling like he'd combust. The heat in the room had to be rising a good few degrees between them.

"Please," Seonghwa keened, the loudest sound he'd managed to make in hours. "Need you to fuck me, need you inside."

"I know pet, it's okay. I will, I promise." Hongjoong swore, leaning down to kiss Seonghwa slowly one more time before sitting back on his heels. He looked over his shoulder to where Blue was pressed so tightly to the wall that they may as well have been trying to fuse with the paint. Hongjoong, however, looked entirely relaxed, not at all bothered by the show he was putting on. "Either make yourself useful for once in your life or get the fuck out. You don't deserve to watch."

Hongjoong's words sank into Blue's mind, blowing the fog and the panicked thoughts out of the way, and they scrambled for the door. They shut it behind them, the sound resonating through the dorm as they pressed their back to it. They closed their eyes, chest heaving as they chased their breath. They hadn't just seen Hongjoong about to fuck Seonghwa, they hadn't gotten horny over it, and they certainly hadn't almost killed Seonghwa with some rogue magic. None of this was real. They'd go home, they'd go back to bed, and when they woke up, this would all have been some freaky nightmare.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Yunho asked, the door to his room open just enough to reveal him standing there in just his favorite sweatpants, the material slung low on his hips. Not an unusual sight, but hardly one that Blue could handle seeing right then and there. They stared at him, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing as they searched for some sort of excuse for their presence.

"I was...I was just leaving. I should go," They said, heading for the door without another word. They were shoving their feet back into their shoes when Yunho caught up, large hand circling their wrist.

"Hey, are you okay? You look about one wrong move away from a panic attack." He observed. And damn him for being so sweet, and for having those perfect big brown eyes that made them melt. They bit back the fear, and the upset, and the confusion, and plastered a smile on their face.

"No, I'm fine, I'm good. I was just checking on Seonghwa. He didn't feel well. But he's...fine." They managed, albeit unconvincingly. They pulled their hand free. "I'm sorry, Yunnie, but I do gotta go. Sorry, I'll talk to you later? After the moon?"

They didn't give him a chance to answer, letting themselves out and practically leaping down the stairs. The burn of cool fresh air in their lungs couldn't come quickly enough, the sensation sending a chill down their spine and shocking the rest of their reactions out of them. They were still trying to process what had happened inside. Their hands were shaking; Adrenaline, they decided. Their head was hurting too. But one thing was clear to them, they still had to come up with a backup plan in case whatever the fuck they'd just witnessed the beginning of wasn't enough.

Once they were settled back in their dorm, locked behind closed doors and wrapped in their most comforting hoodie, they dropped a text in the dorm group chat to announce that they were working on an important project and couldn't be disturbed for the foreseeable future. If their friends had any questions or concerns, they didn't say anything. But no matter how long they sat there, or how long they stared at their blank sheet of paper, no real solution came into their mind. The tapping of their pen on the desk was steadily driving them crazy, but it was all they could manage to do. The sound rang through their head, echoing over the image of Hongjoong's naked form burned in their mind, and the way he sounded when he talked to Seonghwa. The memory of it was burning hotter than whatever hell they were going to for witnessing it.

They stood up, giving the room a couple of paces back and forth before collapsing onto their bed, palms pressed to their eyes as if it would erase the memory of this entire shitty day.

"Get your shit together," They nearly shouted at themselves, taking a long, deep breath and huffing it back out. They were in for a very long, very difficult night.

Nobody saw Blue for several more days. They were living off the stash of snacks under their bed and the bottled waters that they'd shoved to the back of their closet for events like this. Well, not exactly like this. Most of the time they wouldn't be so worried about the entire world crashing down around them. They'd denied every offer Yunho had made of bringing them takeout, or any requests by their roommates to go out to grab late night snacks with them. They were hardly even sleeping now, too focused on trying to dig their way out of this hole.

Seonghwa had texted, apologizing for the concern as if it was somehow his fault and not theirs. He assured them that other than a heightened hunger, they were doing fine, no signs of starvation or long term effects from the magic. Blue didn't call that fine, especially when he'd sought them out to do just the opposite. They'd been studying until the words blurred together, seeking some sort of reason that this had happened.

It was late into the night, nearly a full week after the incident, and Blue was half asleep, slumped over their notes and ideas, eyes falling shut when their bedroom door opened. They gasped, scrambling to stand up on sleepy legs. But it was just Yunho, the worry on his face bringing a new wave of guilt and exhaustion. They'd not avoided him for this long since they were young, they never went more than a day or two without talking.

"What are you doing here? It's late." They sighed, body nearly giving out as they collapsed back into their desk chair.

"You're avoiding me." Yunho walked closer, pressing a hand to their cheek to check that they weren't feverish. "You look like shit, when's the last time you slept?"

He moved around their room, clearing out some of the snack wrappers and the pile of empty water bottles - or at least trying to limit the mess to one little corner until he had time to properly clean up.

"I don't know. What time is it now?" They asked. Yunho didn't answer that, he knew they didn't really want to know in the first place.

"You need to rest. We can talk about this in the morning. But it's never good news when you coop yourself up in here for this long." He tried not to let out a sigh. At least they'd been eating, that was one less thing for him to fuss over.

"You're not my dad, Yun. I'm fine." They said, but despite their protests they were already standing up, eyelids heavy as they stretched their arms above their head and twisted their back. A series of semi-concerning popping noises followed each move, and Yunho side eyed them. "I'm barely even tired. And I'm sure you came here for something better than telling me to go to bed."

"That's exactly what I came here for. Not the first time." Yunho pulled the blankets on their bed back, nodding for them to get comfortable. They meant it when they said they were barely tired, at least they really thought so. But their spot looked so appealing in the moment, and their entire body was begging to betray them. "Sleep, Bluebell. I mean it."

Blue knew he was serious, he always was when he called them that. No room for teasing or whining.

"Whatever you say," They grumbled, not quite managing to throw in the sarcastic tone they intended. They wiggled their whole body under the blankets, not even managing to stay awake long enough to feel Yunho tuck them in and kiss their cheek.

The second time that Yunho caught Blue's eye, they were outside, a small basket sitting at their side as they picked flowers from the edge of the woods. He peeked his head out of the door to the cabin. He'd been cooped up in his room for ages - which was really just a week or so, but when you're eight or nine that's an eternity - and he'd been itching to catch a glimpse of the other little kid running around.

"Hey," He called. Blue jumped, looking back at him with wide eyes. They gave him a tight lipped smile before turning back to their basket. Yunho didn't like that response very much, so he made his way across the lawn to where they were knelt in the grass. "Your name is Bluebell, right?"

The question made Blue laugh, a pretty giggle rang out like birdsong to match the pretty smile that took up their face. They shook their head.

"No, that's not my name." They said, "Bluebell is a flower."

"But lots of people are named after flowers," Yunho pointed out, his lips downturned into a confused little pout. Blue tipped their head, their little eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed tight. Then they nodded.

"I guess you could name someone Bluebell. What's your name?"

"My name is Yunho."

Their friendship blossomed easily after that, but no matter how many times Blue argued about the name, it stuck around. To Yunho, calling them something unique was his way of showing them that they were special, a little inside joke to remind both of them that even if a nickname was something anyone could use, nobody would have the bond that they did. It stayed that way forever, them being his Blue, and even when it caught on with other people, the nickname reminded them of that little boy that they spent all their time protecting. The one who grew up all alone with the wood nymphs and the moon, the one who would walk them to and from school day after day every year. The boy that stayed by their side even when he was sick of them wanting to study magic instead of playing games with him. Blue knew all the way back then that they had no intention of living without him.

Yunho barely slept that night, he was too worried about making sure that they were okay. Blue always took care of him, and he figured he had to repay them for that every now and then. He took time to tidy up their room, or sometimes wash a load or two of their laundry. The sun was already peeking over the horizon when he crawled into bed with them, pulling them tight to his side and falling asleep to the sound of their gentle snoring.

It was afternoon when Blue woke up to Yunho stretching beside them. They groaned, rubbing at their eyes and curling deeper into the blankets. They were still so tired, but their stomach was starting to ache with hunger, and they probably needed to use the restroom, but both of those things meant getting out from the warm embrace of their bed. Yunho reached down, stroking their cheek gently, and they blinked up at him.

When he looked at them like that, it felt like the entire world stopped spinning, leaving them a little off-kilter. It was the softest gaze, the one that he always saved just for them. He smiled, pinching their cheek before moving his hand entirely.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. How do you feel?" He asked. They didn't answer, just curling closer to him so they could rest their head on his chest. He didn't push it, sliding an arm around them and letting them soak up his body heat.

"I'm sorry you had to take care of me," They said after a while. He shook his head.

"You don't ever have to apologize for that. I'm always gonna take care of you. I promise you that."

They looked up, their faces a little too close, and their hearts both beating in time, just a little too fast now. Blue nipped at their bottom lip, fingers twisting and tugging at the fabric of his shirt. The moment was stretching out, becoming a little too intimate. They pulled themselves away.

"But you have enough on your plate. You shouldn't have to worry about me too."

"I'm going to worry about you. Stop thinking about it." He said, hand coming back to stroke their face again. Blue frowned. "You're my number one priority, so stop trying to argue with me. If you're gonna be reckless, someone has to take care of you, and it's gonna be me. No fighting me about it, yeah? You'll just make it more difficult."

The words carried a sense of finality about them, and even though they wanted to argue, part of Blue was aching to be taken care of just like this. So they nodded, and laid their head back down. It was quiet for a long time, several minutes dragging out until it felt like a century of peace passed between the two of them. And finally, after a long while, Yunho spoke up.

"What had you working so hard that you wouldn't answer my calls?"

Blue didn't answer right away, thinking back to the fight with Hongjoong, to the sight of Seonghwa laying there, pale and weak. To the sight of the two of them naked, the way that Hongjoong spoke and moved with such gentle certainty, the way it had awoken something downright forbidden in them.

"Seonghwa was sick. My supplement didn't work, it made things harder. I'm trying to fix it." They answered quietly. Yunho sighed. He could hear the guilt in their words, the way they put all of the blame on their shoulders.

"It's not your fault. You wouldn't have given it to him if you thought you'd hurt him." He reminded them, nudging Blue so that he could sit up and face them. They pushed themselves to sit up, but they didn't look back.

"I know. But it hurt him anyway, and it didn't even solve his problem in the first place. He came here for a solution, and he came here because he trusted me. I don't even know if he'd accept my help again. Or if he should. But I feel like I have to try, I have to do something. It was...awful. I've never had anything backfire like that before, this is supposed to be easy for me. I could have killed him, Yunho."

"Blue,"

"And I know that I'm probably being reckless. I mean, I never actually thought that much about it before. I didn't think my magic would ever hurt someone. I didn't even know that I was capable of that, and I can barely even stomach doing magic anymore. It feels awful."

"Blue."

"Like, I always try so hard to make sure that everything I'm doing is safe and ethical, and I do all of this research, but I'd never even considered that by doing unregulated research and testing, by allowing innocent people to use my magic, that I could be killing people. I mean, I haven't. But I could"

"Bluebell. Look at me." Yunho snapped. Blue looked up, eyes brimming with tears. Yunho made a soft, wounded sound. He shook his head, dragging them into a hug and rocking them both back and forth. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay, I promise. He's okay, and so are you. Just breathe. You're not gonna figure anything out when you're panicking like this. Relax."

Blue closed their eyes, pushing down the wave of tears that were trying to fall, inhaling Yunho's scent, that faint, woody smell of mint, and pine, and fresh morning air. They were so tired, tired of being angry with themselves, and tired of pushing their limits, of trying to meet everyone's expectations. 

"Yunho, I'm so tired," They said, and their voice gave away exactly what they meant. He held them tighter as if hugging them could squeeze all of the negative feelings wrapped up in them back out.

"I'm here. You can rest with me, I've got you now." He promised them. He stroked their hair, tracing their cheek. His touch was gentle, always so careful like they'd shatter into a million pieces if he wasn't. And, for once, Blue really felt like they just might. They leaned into his palm, soaking up his warmth and the calloused touch of his skin.

"What would I do without you?"

"We don't have to worry about that," Yunho laughed. "I'm not going anywhere. You've helped me through my hard times, so it's my turn, right?"

"Can we go to the Noodle Shop?" Blue asked after another long bout of silence. Yunho nodded, mostly just delighted that they'd suggested eating without his prompting. "Let me clean up a little."

Blue stood up, stretching the tension out of their shoulders and heading for the bathroom. They stared in the mirror there, examining their reflection. It was hard to see the differences from how they usually looked, the bags under their eyes and the crease between their brows that hadn't left for a day or more. But they knew regardless that this wasn't how they wanted people to see them. Sure, they'd allowed themselves a moment of relaxation, but that didn't mean they were going to let everyone see behind the curtain.

A quick shower later, they were digging through their closet, pulling on their favorite pair of jeans and one of Yunho's old hoodies. The whole time, he was waiting patiently, the picture of reliability, and for a moment Blue wondered who they had pleased in a past life to deserve someone like him.

Yunho had been a werewolf for years now. They were both grown into teenagers, and somehow the feeling of self loathing that came with every transition never faded away. It had been two days since his last transformation, and he should have gone back to Blue's house by now. He should have checked in, he knew that they'd come looking for him otherwise, but he couldn't find it in him to leave his den.

Waking up after the moon left him with an ache in his bones and a heavy feeling of confusion that he couldn't manage to shake off. What was worse was the blood staining his hands this time around. It wasn't his, he'd checked everywhere. It was staining his clothes too, and he'd scrubbed himself as clean as he could before changing into a clean set. He'd never had this problem before, half the time he wasn't even sure that he left the den. But now he'd hurt something, maybe someone, and the idea of facing anyone after that, after knowing that he wasn't fully in control, that he'd always be a threat, he couldn't stomach that.

It was evening when Blue came out to find him. It was dangerous for them to be that deep in the woods alone, especially so late, but that didn't stop them from seeking Yunho out.

"Yunho," They called from outside, not willing to encroach on his space. He flinched at the sound of their voice, and even though everything in him wanted to hide away more, to dig himself in deeper and not look them in the eye, he couldn't leave them out there all by themselves as the sun went down.

"You shouldn't be out here," He said, running a hand through his hair. His skin felt different now, like it was stained so deep that scrubbing off the evidence wasn't enough, but maybe that was in his head. Blue took his words as an invitation to duck into the small opening of his home. It was clear to them immediately even in the dim lighting of his lanterns, that he hadn't slept well the past two nights.

"You shouldn't either. You didn't come home, I thought something happened to you." They reached out, grabbing his wrist and tugging him this way and that, diligently checking to make sure that he wasn't injured anywhere.

"I'm fine. You should go back." He said, pulling his arm back and shrinking into himself. Blue narrowed their eyes at him.

"Not without you. What's going on with you?" They asked him, their voice harsh and making it unbearably clear that they were hurt. The way they looked at him, however, betrayed the undercurrent of concern that ran through them.

"Nothing."

"Don't you lie to me, Jeong Yunho. I know you better than you know yourself." They snapped, and Yunho looked at them with big brown eyes that were all too quick to fill with tears. Immediately the harshness that Blue had shown was gone as they rushed closer, reaching up with gentle hands to cradle his face. "Hey, hey, you're okay. What's the matter? Don't cry."

"I'm a monster. You aren't safe with me, nobody is. I'm dangerous." He sobbed, tears streaming in torrents down his face. Blue had no idea what to do, they'd never seen Yunho break down like this. Not the day he came home to them, or when he'd confirmed that his parents were gone, or even after his first full transformation. For as long as they could remember, he'd been their rock, their ray of sunshine. He was supposed to be all bright smiles and contagious laughter. It was devastating to see him fall apart in their hands.

"Don't say that. You're no monster." They said, using the sleeve of their hoodie to gently dab away his tears. "Look at me. You're perfect. You'd never hurt a fly, let alone a person. You're a good person."

"There was blood. I did something, and I don't even know what it was. I couldn't have stopped it." His entire body was shaking with his sobs now, his hands clutching desperately at the hem of Blue's hoodie like he was scared that his confession would drive them away from him.

"You don't know what happened, Yunho, that wasn't you. Maybe you were defending yourself. You wouldn't do anything like that if you were in control. That doesn't make you a monster." They promised, pulling him in until his frame melted against theirs, face tucked into the crook of their neck.

Yunho had never felt like this before, so vulnerable and broken yet so wholeheartedly safe. It was like having Blue with him was enough to dull the pain, the insecurity. They would do anything to keep him from believing the worst about himself.

"I'm scared," He whispered. They shushed him gently, stroking their fingers through his hair and trying to avoid the knots from his lack of a shower since the moon.

"I know. But you're not alone. I promise."

The living room of the Pack dorm was always crowded on study night with Blue. It was one of the only ways that they could get some of the members to actually sit down and face doing their work instead of complaining about not understanding. It wasn't that they didn't get it, but Blue found that they had a tendency to psych themselves out. Thankfully, the pack had discovered that they had a way with poking and prodding at the boys until they were right where they should be, until everything made sense. And, best of all, they managed to make sure everyone came out of things feeling confident.

This one was a special study session, partially because midterm exams were coming up, and Seonghwa had managed to coax Hongjoong out of his room, though he wasn't exactly a part of anything. He had his headphones clamped firmly over his ears and his laptop propped on the arm of the chair he was in, working on some music project from the looks of it, but he wasn't hesitating to send burning glares towards Blue every now and then.

Blue was sitting on the floor in front of the couch where Yunho and Jongho were working on a project together, something about the history of demonic bonds and trades with the human race, Blue wasn't entirely sure. Across the coffee table from them, Yeosang was typing away at his computer, and Seonghwa was sitting behind him, taking notes from his Fae Literature textbook. He was doing significantly better than the last time that they'd been over, and he didn't seem upset about the issue with their work in the least. That alone helped to ease their worries.

"Blue," Wooyoung whined, head dropping on Blue's shoulder. They reached up and tousled his dark waves. He was sitting on their right, San on their left. Only Mingi was missing since he was off working on a group project.

"Yes, Wooyoungie?" They asked, leaning over to look at the sheet of problems he was working through. They gently pushed his head back towards his work. "Finish two more before you take a break. I know you can do these two."

They doodled a little star by each of the problems they pointed out before giving Wooyoung a little kiss on the cheek. Yunho smiled, watching for a moment before turning his attention back to Jongho. It was comforting how easily the two parts of his family fit together.

It was then that Hongjoong took his headphones off and got up to grab a snack from the kitchen cupboard. He would have much rather stayed cooped up in his room until Blue left or fell asleep. But he guessed this past few weeks had been getting to him, and trying to leave Seonghwa unattended in their presence was too much to ask of himself.

There was a sort of reliance that his pack had on him. It was his job to lead them, to sort out their issues and make them feel safe and at home. He'd been the one to bring them all together. Yunho had been his first pack member, and Hongjoong had never felt quite as comfortable as he had once he'd found him. Unlike Yunho, Hongjoong had been born to a wolf pack. He knew what it felt like to belong, but once he was old enough to go on his own, he'd lost that bond. Yunho helped him bring it back.

He hadn't expected to pick up the others, the non-wolves, but he knew what that bond was supposed to feel like and he'd be damned if anyone took them from him. It was his nature that drew him to his pack, they all fit together like pieces of a puzzle, creating something so natural that it almost felt like magic. They belonged together. So he couldn't entirely understand the connection that all of them had with Blue. And sure, he guessed that it made sense to an extent, the relationship that Yunho had with them went far beyond friendship, even if the younger wolf wasn't fully aware of that, and maybe it could be natural for Yunho's packmates to feel some type of bond with his chosen one too, but for Hongjoong it just felt wrong; The feeling he got around Blue was too hot, too sharp, too all-consuming, and he couldn't decipher it. It felt like the world was punishing him for something that he couldn't begin to figure out.

He watched the way that San asked Blue about his homework, and the way that they diligently explained the concepts to him and emphasized them with a reassuring pat on his shoulder. They were so patient, even with Wooyoung clinging to their side, pouting and whining about how he'd never be able to understand Applied Magic in Mathematics (which Hongjoong couldn't really fault him for, that shit made no sense. How could there be an entire course on the rules of exceptions?) Every time that Blue was in his dorm, surrounded by his pack, it was like they belonged there, and no part of him was willing to accept that.

"Joong," Seonghwa called, and Hongjoong looked up from the bag of chips he was opening. "What have you been working on?"

See, the thing about Seonghwa was that Hongjoong could hardly ever say no to him. He insisted it was something to do with the demon's magic. Seonghwa, however, insisted that his magic didn't work that way and Hongjoong was just down horrendously bad. The pack tended to agree. He tensed for a moment now that everyone was turning their attention to him. He tried to calm down, to let the familiarity of his home and his pack distract him from all the frustration he was harboring.

He walked back over and slotted himself in between Seonghwa and Yeosang, offering to share his snack. Blue flashed him a look, eyes wide. They hadn't seen each other since the incident, and when Hongjoong met their eye, there was something unfamiliar in them, something that put Blue on edge. They shifted in their seat, looking between him and Hwa. Hongjoong didn't relish in their discomfort, but he wouldn't say that he wasn't at least a little pleased to see that he still held some power. Was it so wrong to want an intruder in his home to feel threatened?

"Have you been working on your songs all day, hyung?" Wooyoung asked, putting down his pencil and disregarding the work he'd been doing. Hongjoong nodded, and Seonghwa half sighed, reaching a hand up to rub the back of Hongjoong's neck. He wasn't usually a fan of affection like this in front of others, but with how tight his shoulders were getting, he let himself melt into it a little more than usual.

"You shouldn't work so hard." Seonghwa scolded him, but Hongjoong only grumbled in response and rolled his eyes. He'd sat through this lecture enough times.

Hongjoong had come to the University to study multicultural music and magic tech, so he often spent his time writing and producing music for use in various areas of magic. Honestly, Blue found it sort of inspiring. 

"Can we hear it?" Yunho asked. Everyone knew that Hongjoong was protective over his magic, working on it tirelessly and insisting that nothing was ever good enough. Though his grades in all of his classes implied otherwise.

"It's not done yet," He answered, reaching for a few chips. "Maybe once it's finished."

"You never think your songs are finished," Jongho pointed out, looking up from his laptop. Hongjoong glared at the Hellhound, but he just laughed and went back to his work.

"Can we at least hear a demo?" Yunho asked. For a moment Hongjoong regretted even letting them know he was working on something at all. They always got like this, so nosy and supportive that it was mildly suffocating. But he couldn't really be mad that people cared about him, that was more than a lot of people in the world. He was lucky to have them, he knew that. He stretched to grab his laptop, opening up a file with his demos in it and started one up.

It was good, everyone knew it would be. They were honored to be one of the only people outside of the pack to get to hear Hongjoong's songs like this, and hear how they grew from beginning to end. They could feel the magic weaved into each track, the careful use of incantations in the lyrics and the power each instrument held in the overarching sound. It amazed them, and they had yet to dislike a single track.

"It's really good. Is that the one you're still working on?" Wooyoung asked, a grin lighting up his face. Hongjoong nodded, closing his laptop and setting it aside.

"I really like it. It sounds a lot like your older stuff, I think. Better than the last one." San added.

A couple of the boys laughed, and Blue nearly snorted. Everyone had listened to San complain for ages about having to hear Hongjoong's last track a hundred and one times. His own fault for asking to help with it. Now even hearing the title of the song made him throw a hissy fit.

"The last one was good!" Hongjoong argued, a growl reverberating in his chest.

"I loved the last one." Blue shrugged. Hongjoong's eyes were on them as they continued. "I will forever and always be a Desire supremacist. I'm San's worst nightmare."

San immediately started whining, but Hongjoong just stood up. He was honestly a little shaken at being addressed so casually, so gently by Blue. He didn't really think of them as friends, but they were still so kind to him and, in truth, it sort of pissed him off.

"I'm going to work in my room." He said, gathering his things to leave. His chest was aching with how hard his heart was pounding in his chest. With the door closed behind him, firmly separating him and the rest of the world, he pressed his palm over his chest.

He knew that he was the asshole in this situation, and part of him really did want to feel bad because, somehow, the worst part of everything was that there was nothing wrong with Blue. They were a good person, maybe too good, and they took amazing care of Yunho, of his entire pack, and he hated that. They'd never been mean to him, at least no more than he deserved, but being around them aggravated him in ways that he couldn't begin to explain.

He thought back to the day he'd been taking care of Seonghwa, the way that his mate had been fading so fast he couldn't even think properly. He didn't know that Wooyoung had called Blue before he did, but he remembered the way that his hands shook when he finally called them, the way his wolf was screaming to take over. He hadn't felt that out of control in a long time, just so goddamn helpless. He needed to protect Seonghwa, his pack was one of the only things that had ever really mattered to him, and his pride had been ripped to shreds when the only thing that he could think to do was call someone else. To call Blue of all fucking people. But they'd come, of course they had. They'd come running the second he called because that's what they did. In some fucked up way, Hongjoong was very much aware that he and Blue weren't so different after all.

"You're being an idiot." Hongjoong snapped, whirling around to look at Seonghwa. Honestly, he knew this conversation was coming and that only made him more sick of it. It was later the same day when Seonghwa mentioned wanting to work with Blue on his supplement again. He wasn't generally one to turn on Seonghwa, but there was one thing that he couldn't tolerate and it was watching his mate put his safety on the line.

Seonghwa didn't even flinch at his outburst. Honestly, he'd seen it coming. He knew Hongjoong, knew his body language. The Incubus frowned, crossing his arms across his chest. He straightened up in his spot, sitting at the edge of their shared bed.

"I appreciate your input, but it isn't up for debate." He responded. Hongjoong growled, beginning to pace the room again. Seonghwa hated seeing him stressed out like this.

"You could have died. You said yourself that you'd never been that close to losing yourself before." Hongjoong said. His voice was sharp around the edges as he thought back to that day again. Honestly, he hadn't stopped thinking about it. It haunted him, watching Seonghwa barely able to speak. If he'd waited just a little longer to call for help, he might have lost him altogether, lost an entire piece of his soul. Fuck, he'd had to call for help in the first place and that was all Blue's fault. His job was to take care of Seonghwa, of all of them, and he had never had a problem doing so before then, so clearly the issue wasn't him. It couldn't be.

"But I didn't. You can't blame them because I had an adverse reaction to some magic. It's like an allergy, how could they have known?" Seonghwa tried to reason. "I want to solve this problem, and nobody has been able to help me. If they might be able to, then I want them to try."

"Why them? You could ask anyone."

"Because I trust them."

"I don't."

"But Yunho does. Everyone else does."

"Then maybe they're all idiots, too. Maybe you're all being stupid." Hongjoong was losing this fight, he knew that. He generally lost fights with Seonghwa. Unlike the demon, he was quick to anger and slow to cool down. Seonghwa didn't answer that, he didn't need to. Hongjoong took a moment to breathe. "I don't understand what you all love about them so much. I don't get it. The entire pack is obsessed with them, and Yunho trusts them with his life. More than he trusts anyone, even Mingi."

"They've been there for him longer than you have. You have to accept that we'll never really know what the two of them have been through. And you have to accept that he's imprinted on them, you can't change that. We should just be grateful that they take such good care of him."

Seonghwa stood up, tentatively stepping towards his mate as if he were a cornered animal. Hongjoong was quiet, defeated. He let Seonghwa take his hand, the warmth reminding him of who he was talking to. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.

"I am grateful. That's not it."

"Then what is it? They're good for everyone. That's all you've ever cared about with other people. Everyone gets along with them, and they're always willing to help."

Hongjoong wished beyond all wishing that any of these things made it easier for him. Not all wishes come true, though, and he was being made very aware of that.

"I don't know. Can we just forget it? If anything happens to you again, though, you're not doing this anymore. I'm not going to let them experiment with some bullshit magic until they do something that they can't fix."

Seonghwa nodded, less of an agreement and more of a show of surrender for the time being. The conversation was less than productive now, so surely it could wait for a better time. He knew well that there was no use in talking to Hongjoong when he was feeling threatened.

The fight was inevitable, and it had tensions high in the dorm even if nobody else knew what was happening. Yunho had taken to spending even more of his time outside of classes at Blue's place, and Wooyoung was spending more time with his other friends than usual. The only member particularly willing to withstand Hongjoong's terrible attitude was Jongho, but the Hellhound was built to withstand much worse than a moody werewolf.

However, after a few days of bickering and brooding, Hongjoong decided that the best way to handle things was confronting his problem head on. He knocked on Blue's front door, waiting impatiently for them to answer. When they didn't show their face quickly enough, he banged on it louder. When they did whip the door open, they looked exhausted, and Hongjoong had to will himself not to ask them if they were okay. He clenched his jaw, and Blue rolled their eyes.

"What is it now? I'm busy." But they were nicer than Hongjoong in the long run, everyone knew that. As they retreated back into their dorm, they left the door open for him to follow if he so desired. He didn't exactly, desire that is, but he followed them anyway. He closed the door behind him, growing somehow more frustrated that they were hardly paying attention to him at all.

"I came to talk to you about your little project with Seonghwa." He said.

They stopped, turning back to look at him. They looked significantly more worried now, which eased his mind more than he wanted it to. At least they cared enough to worry about him, that reassured him, but not enough to lay down his arms.

"Is he doing okay?"

"I want you to stay away from him. From all of my pack." Hongjoong said, crossing his arms over his chest. The wait that his body sank into such a confident gait pissed Blue off, maybe even more than his words themselves.

"And who exactly do you think you are to tell me who I can and cannot spend my time with?" They asked, eyes narrowing in his direction.

"I'm the head of their pack." He answered as if it were obvious. Blue stepped towards them in two long strides.

"And as the leader of their pack, it's your job to take care of them. Not control them."

"I am taking care of them."

"Really? Because to me it looks like you're taking care of your own fragile ego. You're afraid that if anyone else is nice to them they'll realize how shitty you've been. And you just couldn't live with yourself then. I don't know how they put up with this bullshit. Go tell them to stay away from me, but I don't have to listen to a damn word you say." Blue snapped, their rage and frustration radiating off of them, a stifling wave of heat.

"You watch your fucking mouth." Hongjoong growled. Before he even finished speaking, he had Blue against the wall again, just like they'd been before. His face was dangerously close now, teeth bared and fangs sharpening before Blue's eyes. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. They're my pack, that has nothing to do with you."

"You're just mad because I had him first." Blue said, voice shockingly smooth despite the wincing pain in their back from the collision with the wall. Hongjoong faltered, his snarl dropped for a second to give way to complete shock at their statement, then his eyes were blazing even hotter with unspoken emotion, things he'd never even considered before this.

"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you," He warned. He pressed closer, too close. He could feel Blue's body heat radiating off of them, making the tiny bit of space between them feel like it was scorching. He didn't flinch, neither did they.

"If you think your empty threats and your stupid attitude scare me, you'd better think again. I stopped being afraid of you a long time ago, Kim Hongjoong."

If it weren't for the slightly soured notes of their scent, and the way that Hongjoong could feel their pulse under his touch, he probably would have believed them. They were good at this, the acting bit, the pretending that they weren't being consumed by this the way that he was. Hongjoong didn't like that. He wanted to hear what they really thought, wanted them to give in, to cave under the pressure.

"Get off of me."

"Stay away from my pack."

"What are you gonna do if I don't? Kill me? Lock them in a fucking cage? Or just come here to push me around and threaten me some more?" They spat back. Hongjoong flinched, his weight slowly easing off of them. But they didn't move, and the tiny bit of space between them didn't grow any wider. They just looked at each other, angry and burning and so alive.

Neither of them knew exactly who kissed the other first, but Hongjoong wouldn't be surprised if it was him. But it didn't matter with the way that Blue's hands were in his hair, pulling him closer, opening their mouth to let him in as he crowded them against the wall. The hands that had been pinning them in place slid down to their waist, dragging them into him until their fronts were pushed flush against each other.

He pulled away only when his lungs began to burn, firmly tipping their chin up to nose along their neck. He dragged his fangs over the soft, clear skin there, down to the crook of their neck. He breathed them in. Blackberry, vanilla, sweet honeyed musk. Familiar and infuriating and fucking intoxicating. He growled. His hands slid under their shirt, forcing it out of his way to feel along the expanse of warm skin under his palms.

"Hongjoong," They breathed out, the sound clipped off by a throaty moan when he bit harshly against their shoulder, just the tiniest pinpricks through their skin. His tongue dragged over the spot, soothing it. That would certainly leave a mark. Hearing his name like that, a prayer on his lips, it was a drug he needed more of.

"Bedroom." He pulled them away from the wall and spun them towards the bedrooms. They led the way, opening their bedroom door and pushing him inside. They were kissing again before the door was fully closed, only ever pulling apart enough to tug their clothes off, discarding their shirts one and then the other until they could explore the fully bared territory of each others upper bodies.

Hongjoong pushed them onto the bed, maybe harder than necessary, but they didn't complain even with their gasp and stunted cry of surprise when their back bounced against the mattress. He lingered over them, tugging their pants off with a couple of harsh pulls, leaving them so close to naked beneath him.

There was a sick sense of pride that felt like ice spreading in his chest - foreign, and sharp, and almost unwelcome - as he looked down at them. He got them like this first. He was in control. Not Blue, not Yunho, or Seonghwa, or anyone else in his fucking life. Just him. He was coming out on top. He had conquered.

He slotted himself between their thighs, kissing them again. Each kiss was hungrier than the last, not as calculated as he would have been under different circumstances. Their teeth clashed, and they nipped at the skin of each other's lips, the mix of tongue, and spit, and huffed out whines should have been borderline disgusting, but neither of them could get enough of it. Hongjoong sat back, and Blue propped themselves on an elbow to chase him until he was out of reach.

His hands slid up their front, finding their nipples and circling his thumbs around them. He started slow before he progressed to toying with them harshly with both hands, tugging and twisting hard enough the Blue's hand flew to one of his wrists. He knocked their hand away, leaning down to soothe the sting with his tongue. He suckled one nipple, then the other, teasing his fangs against it and reveling in the way they whined for him.

"Hongjoong, please." They gasped, nails digging into the flesh of his forearms, leaving pretty little crescent moons against his skin.

"Please, what?" He asked, lips quirking into a smirk that sent another wave of arousal through Blue's body. They huffed, and Hongjoong sat up, shifting so his hips were pressed flush against theirs. He was hard, painfully so, and the friction between the two of them was more of a tease than it was any sort of relief.

"Fuck me," Blue said, but they weren't begging, not really demanding either. Still, Hongjoong was too worked up to argue. The anger was bleeding into arousal and leaving his mind foggy and locked in on nothing but feeling Blue wrapped around him, on watching them fall apart just for him.

Blue reached into the drawer beside them, pulling out a bottle of lube and tossing it to them with a challenging glint in their eye. Hongjoong stared back, not wanting to give in to anything they offered him, but that urge was hardly enough to stop him.

So he shucked off his bottom layers, leaving him completely naked and all too comfortable with being exposed in front of Blue. They weren't complaining, their eyes following the planes of his toned stomach, the muscle of his thighs, all leading them to the pretty cock sitting between his legs.

While Hongjoong popped the cap of the lube and coated his length with it, Blue wiggled out of their underwear so the two of them were back on even ground. Hongjoong settled on the bed on his knees, tugging at Blue's hip hard enough to half force them to flip onto their front. He slapped their ass, the sound resonating in the room.

"Ass up," He ordered. They listened without hesitation, lifting themselves up onto their knees to present themselves for him, back arched so prettily beneath him. He smoothed one of his hands along their back, the other spreading them open to watch the way their hole clenched around nothing at the lightest touch. He spanked them again, and again, and a few more times after that until they were practically panting into their pillows, leaking arousal like a bitch in heat.

He didn't give them any proper warning, just the feeling of his cock lining up with their hole before he started to bully his way inside of them. He wasn't terribly big, but he was usually a kind lover anyway. If it hadn't been Blue, he would have stretched them open, maybe gone down on them for a while if he was feeling patient, but he was burning much too hot with need to care about that. He needed this, needed to fuck them into the mattress until they couldn't walk, or talk, or think about anything or anyone but him. Him and his dick splitting them open.

Underneath the heavy roll of his hips, Blue whined, feeling him fill them up inch by inch. The stretch ached a little, stinging as he finally laid his hips flush with their ass. Their fingers dug into the comforter on their bed, trying to ground themselves as he immediately pulled back, not giving them a chance to adjust to the feeling.

"Fucking look at you, sucking me in so good," He hissed, hands kneading their ass, spreading them open to watch the way they swallowed his dick, how they opened up just for him. The thought had him going absolutely insane. All he could think about was how warm they felt around him, how he could smell them so much stronger like this. "So tight, s'like you're choking my dick."

His words were strained as he fought to keep up the brutal pace he'd started. Blue buried their face in the bed, muffling the moans and cries that he was dragging out of them with every drag of his dick against their sweet spot. Hongjoong, however, was having none of that. He curled his fingers into their hair, tugging at it hard enough to have them pushing themselves up on their hands, back arching harder and neck curving back. Without something to stop it, the incoherent string of curses and moans filled the air of their room, and Hongjoong soaked it all up.

His hand slid out of their hair, around to wrap around their throat. He wasn't choking them, just reminding them that he could, holding them and pulling them closer to him until their fingertips were barely brushing the bed. He leaned down, his chest pressing into their back and his nose brushing against their jaw. He inhaled, their scents mixing in the room and being weighed down by the musk of sex. He was scenting them, letting himself sink into their skin, claiming them even just for a while. He growled, nipping at the skin of the neck and earning another sharp yelp.

"Needed me so bad, didn't you? Wanted me to fill you up so bad that you just couldn't act right." He hissed, letting their body collapse against the bed again. "That's okay, I can fuck the attitude out of you."

They pressed back into each thrust, fucking themselves onto him even with their thighs starting to shake from the exertion.

"So deep, Joong, please." They buried their face against their arms, too lost in the feeling of their building orgasm to feel any sort of way about what either one of them were saying.

"I know, gonna fuck you so good. Make you all mine. You're just gonna come crawling back for more, aren't you? Gonna beg me to fuck you dumb again." Hongjoong could feel his own control slipping, his grasp on whatever sanity he'd come into this with was gone. He couldn't think, could only listen to the way they chanted his name and the way it sent shockwaves through him.

"Gonna cum," They warned him, but he could already tell with the way they were squeezing him. He gripped their hips tighter, squeezing until his fingerprints were bruised into their soft skin, fucking them until they were nearly crying. He poured his entire soul into fucking them so good that maybe he wouldn't be able to stay angry with them, so hard that maybe they'd realize that this wasn't a fucking game. His knot was swelling, and he probably should have thought about that first as he willed himself to hang in a little longer even when he was so goddamn close.

Blue's high shook their body, making their knees go weak under them as they clung to their pillow like a lifeline. One of their hands flew back to find Hongjoong's over their hip, fingers bumping and linking together as they used him to ground them through it. Every thrust pulled and stretched them in a way that made their vision blur.

Then Hongjoong was pulling out, stroking himself to completion and shooting against their thighs. His orgasm seemed to last forever, so intense and yet not enough. The urge to have them stuck on his cock was strong enough to feel like the earth was tilting on its axis. He swallowed it down, looking at Blue as they relaxed against their bed.

Hongjoong stood up, trying to figure out what sort of fucked up blend of pity and pride was spinning through him. Blue looked tired, or maybe just disinterested in the situation, but that idea made his chest hurt, so he avoided it. He didn't want to think about them at all, or the fact that he'd just had sex with them when that was the last thing he had planned on doing, the last thing he should have done. Especially when he'd just said he never wanted to see them again.

"You can leave now." Blue said, finally pushing themselves to stand up. His cum was still dripping down their legs, and he was trying so hard to stay sane with that visual right in front of him. But they were acting like it was nothing, like they weren't still naked, and marked up, and covered in him. As if their legs weren't visibly shaking under their body weight when Hongjoong could see every sign of what had happened between them. "And you can take your demands with you. If I help Seonghwa is up to him, you can take that up with him at home. As for the rest of them, they have a right to choose who they want to spend their time with. I won't take that away from them, you shouldn't either."

They grabbed something from the laundry, wiping themselves clean before tossing it back. Hongjoong followed their lead, pulling his clothes back on in a hurry. By the time he was slipping into his jeans, they were fully clothed and heading for the bathroom.

"Oh, and Hongjoong?" He looked up at them, noting the cold look in their eye. "Don't come back. You have no business with me."

They closed the door, leaving Hongjoong in their room, the air heavy with the two of them, and his heart sinking so low into his stomach that he felt like he was gonna throw up. What the hell had he just done?

Once Blue cleaned themselves up and made sure that any traces of Hongjoong's presence were gone, they weren't actually sure what to do with themselves. They had never really considered doing something like that with Hongjoong, maybe because he hated their guts. But it was good, they'd be lying if they said they wouldn't be thinking about it in their own time. But now they weren't sure they could show their face at the pack dorm again, or anywhere that Hongjoong might be, actually. Maybe he'd gotten his way and they'd never see any of his pack ever again, because maybe it would be better if they just didn't leave their room. Ever. For any reason.

They didn't realize how long they'd spent pondering their impulsive decisions until Yunho was knocking on their bedroom door. they'd forgotten they'd promised him a movie night to celebrate the end of exams. They froze for a moment until he knocked again.

They stood up, smoothing their hair once more and trying to calm themselves down. Yunho was good at noticing when something was going on in their head, and they really weren't sure how talking to him about this situation would go. Not until they determined what the hell it meant and if it was going to happen again, if it changed anything whatsoever about their confusing ass feelings that they were trying to choke down. They huffed out a broken laugh.

"Blue, lemme in! I can hear you, you know." Yunho whined from outside the door. They finally twisted open the door handle, letting him and the takeout he'd brought into the room. But YUnho didn't move, just looked at them for a concerningly long moment with a slowly growing look of confusion. Blue wondered for a second if maybe he'd developed some sort of mind reading ability because he was certainly searching their eyes for something. Finally he stepped into their room, setting the bag of food on their desk and looking around with narrowed eyes.

"What is going on with you?" Blue asked, trying not to act suspicious. They started opening the bag of food to unpack everything.

Yunho could tell something was off, Blue could see it in the tension in his shoulders, and the way he didn't immediately throw himself onto their bed, in the way that he seemed to be avoiding looking at them now when he'd been practically burning holes into them a moment prior.

"Where is he?" Yunho asked. And when he looked at Blue, it was with an expression they hadn't ever seen on him before. His eyes were dark and weighed heavily as he moved closer. They took a step back for every move forward he made, trying to maintain the distance between them, but his legs were longer, and he was clearly not looking to let them escape. "Did he leave? Did he fucking touch you?"

"Yun, what...what are you on about?" They asked, but it was clear enough when Yunho grabbed at their shoulders, holding them still so he could examine them. One of his hands came up to tilt their head up and to the side, revealing a previously overlooked mark left by none other than his own pack leader. Yunho's breath caught in his throat, and he let out a growl that made Blue shiver.

He tugged at the neckline of their shirt, pulling it out of way to show off a few other love bites on their skin, down to the tiny puncture marks Hongjoong had left behind.

"That bastard," Yunho spat out, letting go of Blue and heading back for the door. They watched him with wide eyes as he put his shoes on, and they rushed to do the same before Yunho's quick stride could take him out of reach, their meal left abandoned on the desk and the door to Blue's dorm slamming shut behind them.

"Hey, what the hell is going on with you?" They asked, grabbing at Yunho's hand just before he reached the stairs. Their touch stopped him in his tracks, and when he looked at them he softened just a little, letting them catch a glimpse of their beloved Yunho before he was hidden behind the walls again. For a moment, their best friend felt so terribly out of reach, even with their fingers intertwined, with the warmth of him seeping into their skin.

"He touched you. He fucked you, didn't he?" Yunho asked. "I'll kill him."

They weren't used to seeing him like this. Yunho was slow to anger, and even when he was upset, it was never like this.

"I can smell him all over you, all over your fucking room. He's dead."

When Yunho pulled his hand away, it was still so gentle as if he were afraid of hurting them. He took off back towards his pack's dorm and, half terrified of what would happen if they didn't, Blue followed behind him.

Back at the dorm, things were quiet for once. The boys were minding their own business, San and Wooyoung curled up on the couch with Yeosang playing a game quietly in front of them. Mingi was tucked away in his room, Jongho too, and Seonghwa was tidying the kitchen after the dinner they'd all had. Hongjoong, however, hadn't left his room since he got home and scrubbed himself clean in the shower, trying to wash the feeling, and the scent, and the guilt of everything he'd done from his skin.

The calm was shattered by the door slamming open, probably hard enough to dent the wall, and certainly loud enough to alert the entire floor of Yunho's anger.

"Hongjoong," He screamed.

The name hung heavy in the air. It wasn't common for Yunho to call his hyungs by name, and never so loud, and deep, and weighted.

Seonghwa was the first person to respond, rounding into the living room. He checked on the others first, a side glance to make sure the three boys weren't overly startled. All of them were just looking on with wide eyes and tensed muscles in case they needed to leap into action.

"What's going on?" Seonghwa asked delicately, looking between Yunho and Blue, who had only just managed to catch up and was breathless and clearly distressed.

"Where is he? Hongjoong, get out here!" Yunho shouted again, taking a step to pass Seonghwa, who reached out to grab his arm. "I know what you did, you bastard. Come on,"

Mingi came out first, looking visibly shaken. If anyone knew Yunho anywhere near as well as Blue did, it was Mingi, and he was certainly not familiar with this side of the wolf either. Jongho's door opened a second later, and he looked more bothered by the noise than anything else.

"Hey, what's up?" Mingi asked, taking a couple cautious steps towards the trio with Jongho following behind.

"I need to talk to Hongjoong. Now." It was the first proper answer that Yunho had given since they got there, and Seonghwa finally stepped away to grab his mate.

"Okay, he'll be out in a second. Just take a breath, okay?" Mingi reached out to massage Yunho's shoulder. Having Mingi at his side calmed him down a little bit, much to Blue's relief, but it was clear that he wasn't over his emotions just yet. "Can you tell us what this is about?"

"Don't worry about it." Yunho said, eyes still trained on the hallway and frame practically blocking Blue from the room. Mingi stepped past him to get to the witch instead.

"What's gotten into him? I've never seen him like this before."

Blue picked at the old, frayed hoodie that they were wearing, one of Yunho's, and maybe Mingi's before that, but it had been in their closet so long they couldn't remember. They wished desperately that it was doing more to make them feel safe at that moment. They shook their head.

"I did something stupid. Really really stupid, and Yunho is pissed. I don't know....I don't..." They sniffled, fighting back tears.

Mingi's expression shifted into one of understanding as Hongjoong finally stepped into the hallway with Seonghwa behind him. As soon as Hongjoong joined the room, any calm that had washed over Yunho was gone again.

"You," He jabbed a finger in the air towards the leader, taking a few steps towards him only for Hongjoong to stand his ground, chin tipped up defiantly. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"Calm down." Hongjoong answered. He looked past Yunho's looming form to where Blue was still standing with Mingi, the Cupid's arm around their shoulder as if to steady them from the shock of what was happening in front of them.

"Don't tell me what to do, you have no right to do that. And don't even think about looking at them, I think you've seen more than enough." He growled, baring his teeth. His fangs were on full display, and his eyes were flickering amber when Hongjoong looked back at him.

"I think we can have this conversation in private."

"Why? Because you don't want everyone to know that you took them from me? Because you know that you're a fucking dick for touching them? You don't have a right to act like I'm the one in the wrong here."

A wave of understanding washed over the room, and everyone looked over at Blue. They shrunk closer to Mingi's side, and he shook his head at his pack mates.

"Nobody said you're in the wrong, now let's take a deep breath and we can talk about this." Hongjoong said. Blue hadn't seen him like this either, his entire being radiating pure dominance, and they could see the other members shrinking away from him. But not Yunho, he puffed his chest out, baring his wolf proudly and without hesitation. Pack leader or not, no level of respect of rank difference could have stopped him from pursuing this battle. The only other member of the pack who moved was Jongho, the de facto protector with his eyes red and his energy darkening enough to dim the lights in the room.

Blue was shaking, and they wanted to run away from the situation entirely, but instead they were rooted in place so firmly that they weren't sure they'd be able to leave even if things turned bloody.

"You knew all along, I know you did, but you couldn't keep your hands to yourself," Yunho growled, poking a finger into the center of Hongjoong's chest. The smaller man huffed out at the feeling, taking a step back from the sheer pressure, but refusing to cave in. "My mate? What, you just had to assert your dominance? Put me in my place? What the hell did I ever do to you?"

"It's not like that," Hongjoong shook his head, and when he looked over at Blue, he looked genuinely remorseful. Blue looked at their feet, the gears turning in their head. Mate. Of course they knew what it meant, but hadn't occurred to them that Yunho may have cross-species imprinted, that he'd imprinted at all.

Their whole lives it had been just the two of them, and then Mingi, then the others. If anything, they'd assumed he'd imprinted on Mingi and they'd all live happily ever after, but now...now every memory of their lives looked a little different in their memory. Their stomach twisted in knots, wave after wave of nausea hitting them.

"Oh, of course it's not." Yunho snapped. His arm wound back to land a punch, but before he could swing, a firm hand gripped his elbow with inhuman strength that had the wolf groaning in pain.

"Don't." Jongho warned, steady and calm amongst everything going on. His aura of darkness had turned a smokey grey, materializing into shadow around him. Yunho's eyes softened when he noticed how hard the Hellhound was fighting, the internal battle of which side to take in his own pack. Then he looked at the others, his entire pack putting distance between themselves and the two wolves clashing in the middle of the dorm, between themselves and him. Wooyoung looked startled, and San looked so wounded that Yunho worried he might have actually hurt him.

And Blue, his beautiful Blue, so close to tears and huddled up in Mingi's arms. His heart shattered, his mind spinning. He didn't know if he was angry, or scared, or just blinded by jealousy, but whatever it was that he was dealing with had him feeling weighed down and wholly out of place.

"You can be mad at me if you want to, but that won't change anything. Did you even talk to them before dragging them here? Do they know what's happening?" Hongjoong asked, trying not to let his emotions come through in his voice, but his own anger and bitterness were evident.

Of course he knew that was the problem, he was the villain in the story, but he wasn't ready to back down and admit that. Losing to Yunho was one thing, but it was another entirely to lose to him in front of their entire pack. He wasn't going down without a fight, and he wasn't ready to acknowledge that all of the hurt and anger and frustration were desperately outweighed by guilt and concern. He'd really never meant to hurt Blue, or Yunho, or anyone.

"Did you bond with them? Did you tell anyone? Or did you think that wanting them was enough to make them yours? Because God knows they'll give you whatever the fuck you want. Do you really think I'm scummy enough to do anything they didn't want me to?" Hongjoong pushed on, stalking closer to Yunho, who finally took a step back.

His words hung heavy, and he could feel everyone's eyes on him, the disapproval. He regretted it the second that he said it, but it was too late for him to take them back now.

"Hongjoong," A voice said, soft but firm enough to cut the tension. "Don't say things you'll regret. I think you both need some time to cool down, we can handle this later."

Seonghwa stepped forward, placing himself between the two of them. The room was burning hot, and everyone looked about one second away from snapping or bursting into tears.

"They're my mate. You know how sacred that is. I never would have done this to you," Yunho said after a moment, taking another few slow steps back from the wolf in front of him. "Stay away from us, or you'll regret it. I thought I meant something to you, but clearly you've only ever cared about yourself and your stupid ego."

Those were the last words Yunho ever intended to say to Hongjoong. He turned, taking Blue's hand gently, trying not to scare them more than he already had. As he pulled them out of the dorm, Blue looked back, eyes glossy with tears and dark with desperation as they silently begged Hongjoong to look at them. They were wading through the shame too, through the pain of watching the pack separating because of them. He didn't look up, not a single glance, just watched the floor as the door shut.

The quiet in the room was deafening with Yunho gone. Hongjoong could feel tears pricking his eyes, could feel the building desperation to break down, the weight of it trying to drag him to the ground. He had done a lot of terrible things in his life, he knew damn well that his hands weren't clean, but he'd never imagined that he would carry the weight of destroying his own pack. He had never been so impulsive, and reckless, and cruel, and selfish. And now it was time for him to face the consequences of his actions.

"Hyung," It was Mingi who finally spoke. And Hongjoong prayed that his usual kind, patient words would follow. "Blue? What were you thinking?"

Hongjoong felt the words run right through him. He couldn't breathe, lips parting in a silent gasp as he tried to steady himself. It was true, though, everyone knew from the moment they met him that Yunho had imprinted on Blue, that he just needed the time to realize it, and Hongjoong had taken that from him. Why? Because he was bitter? Because he was self-destructing? Surely he could have destroyed himself in a quicker, less devastating way than this.

"I don't know," He answered.

"You shouldn't have fought with him. You know how he feels about them, and he hadn't even figured it out yet." San said. His voice was gentler, but his words were still a slap in the face.

Nobody else had anything to say as they left, and maybe the silence hurt more. Then it was just him and Seonghwa, and Hongjoong couldn't keep his composure anymore. He sank to the ground at his lover's feet, head in his hands and sobs quaking his body. Seonghwa stepped closer, and laid a hesitant hand to the crown of his head.

"What have I done?" Hongjoong asked, looking up at his lover. Seonghwa just shook his head, lips pursed into a line and silent disappointment painted on his face. Seonghwa gave his head one last stroke before leaving him alone.

The dorm had never felt this quiet or cold to Hongjoong before, he'd never felt so uncomfortable in the home he'd made. He closed his eyes, tipping his face to the sky and sending out a prayer to whatever or whomever it was that was waiting for him at the end of this cruel life. Please, he begged, please let this be over, let him fix this, and - at the end of the line - let him suffer for what he'd done. He deserved that much.

[crooked-wasteland]

I just saw your essay on the codependency of FizzOzzie and it cleared up a lot of things I've been thinking about this ship and to be honest, I myself thought it was the most healthiest ship in the whole show even better than the trash that Stoliz is but well... (btw, I was trying to scroll through tumblr to find it but can you just link it for me so I coud read it again)?

It also brings me to an idea of the possibility brung up in two fics each with different ideas:

#1 if Hazbin's events every leak in Helluva's since they're the same universe, there's a possibility that Lucifer would want to have precautionary heirs for the defense of Hell and outright force Ozzie and any other relationships with lowerclass apart since it's "not compatible with angelic DNA" or some thing, so Ozzie could in fact leave Fizz because of his status

#2 Ozzie getting tired of Fizz... Ozzie is the sin of Lust after all and Lust can be ever-changing and capricious in its nature as a sin. Ozzie’s character, embodying Lust, might lead to a fluctuating commitment level, influencing his interactions and relationships. In biblical lore, he did end up causing a lot of sinful things like fucking a human named Sarah or so I remember?

Again this is the same guy who humiliated Blitzø in Ozzie, S2 just rewrote him completely (btw, in my rewrite I'mma change him to be more evil and instead give the whole "lovey-dovey Sin" idea to Satan who is female and thinks Asmodeu's "fake-love" is like a slap in the fact to her idea of realistic and true romance)

I'd just feel like Fizz would be better off with Blitzø tbh or Striker or all in a threesome... the possibilities are endless, and why is the show making love seem too fairytale and unrealistic?! Like Blitzø shouldn't have to fuck Stolas just because he was his arranged playmate for just one day??? The show did the childhood friends trope dirty and would be better if Stoliz was a thing until mid-teens broke up for [insert reason] and reconnect but honestly, Stolas should've had his own seperate season/arc dedicared to himself if HB was an anthology show

Also the fact that Asmodeus couldn't just burn the contract, one-shot the lawyer and go on a rampage to save Fizz is just beyond me... the Sins are supposed to be these scary demon lords so why aren't they, hm?

Sorry for rambling and what do you think or want to add?

Absolutely here you go.

The consistent failure of Vivziepop is to commit to a mature story. She describes her own protagonists as "Deeply flawed but understandably traumatized people who just need love to fix them" while the villains of her shows are "irredeemable" (and women, but that's a tangent).

I mentioned before that trying to use the excuse of the setting being Hell and playing that out to the logical conclusion would end up exactly like Good Omens. The whole moral of said show being that imperfect humanity is worth saving, that life is worthy and beautiful for its own sake of existence. That is why the story of Good Omens uses the Bible, angels, and demons to tell it's story, to make that point.

Why is Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel set in Hell? What is being said by the plot, themes and story? So far we have that demons are better people than the Angels in Hazbin. That sacrifice is the only virtue worthy of redemption and thus reinforces backwards Christian ideals of penance.

Personally, I would have made Hell less absurd. Less a place of debauchery and chaos and more a mere continuation of life. We see in the Hazbin Pilot a character falls from the sky and says "I'm alive?" Before being hot by Travis' car. The point being that people just transition from one life to the next and in that they keep living life the way they always have.

My personal criticisms of the series' use of Hell is that it established this idea that people only behave if they have a god to fear. Once in Hell, there is no salvation, so why bother. It's like a Christian asking an atheist why they wouldn't commit murder if they don't believe in God. The answer is that people like order and security. People dying would seek to maintain their status quo from life. A lack of salvation wouldn't change that for them.

And frankly, I wouldn't have redemption be a thing. This story and its messages are actively devalued by the act of redeeming sinners when the Angels are just the same as them. By having Hell just be a warped continuation of life on Earth, it makes the message more universal: Life is Hell. Life is suffering in a way Hell can never hope to be. Physical anguish and torment for all eternity can never amount to the pain of the fleeting and the terror of change and uncertainty.

I would have made it impossible to be redeemed because the fact is, regardless what you believe happens after death, what we know we have is life. We fear death so much we have created salvation throughout history, the wish to keep living forever in some way. But, especially for young people, life is harder now than ever before. It's more terrifying and uncertain and cruel and uncaring.

So if life is Hell, how do you be happy?

That would have been my thesis for the show. The message underneath is all about finding happiness in the absence of salvation. Even the idea that maybe salvation is something we should reject to really feel what it means to be alive. Giving up on our deaths and seeking our own fulfillment, and in that finding community, love, and hope. To see true humanity as something selfish and kind at the same time.

That's how I would have taken the concept.