#but then you have stuff like *z-one*
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I've been playing a lot of Palworld lately, it's so addictive! It scratches a certain itch for me perfectly, haha. These are the three that have stood out to me so far, which probably doesn't come as a huge surprise.
[patreon]
#palworld#maraith#cawgnito#swee#z art#i played an absurd amount of valheim so this came as no surprise to me#love doing big floaty jumps on my maraith like wheee#i keep forgetting its name so i'm like the thing... the weird looking thing... you know#me and mal have set up some neat bases#i love just watching em walk around and do stuff#carry things or chop trees or whatever#sometimes other ones steal swee's bed and we're like hey! get outta there!!#that's for swee!!
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My designs for the characters from We Object To Fear :) I love this show a lot and have watched it many times.
In order they are Matthew and his mum, Brian and Clark (prosecution), Alicia and Spencer (defence), and Xander and his unnamed friend (pre-trial).
#off book#zach reino#jess mckenna#my art#I’m going to ramble for one second:#my favourite character in the show is brian - I am so intrigued by him#because there is a whole song (‘fear and admiration’) about how he’s so intimidating and ‘refus[es] to listen to other ideas’ however#every scene he’s in with clark he starts off irrationally mad about something but after a few seconds of discussion he fully comes around#and I enjoy the implications this has about their friendship like brian clearly has issues with aggression but clark always is down to chat#like clark disagrees with almost everything brian says but it seems like that is exactly the kind of dynamic they both need#clark clearly loves to debate - he wants someone who’s mind he can change on inconsequential matters#and brian needs someone who can logically talk him out of the anger he feels about random stuff#and it is crazy to read into this as z&j so often do the dynamic of besties who support and criticise each other in an exaggerated way#and it’s just a funny bit to have 2 bro-y guys get into intense discussions about feng shui or whatever#but like if I’m going to read into it anywhere it’ll be here. in the tags of a tangentially related post.#well hopefully you get what I’m saying#I also just like how intense he is - it makes me laugh#anyway I also headcanon that the unnamed pre-trial attorney is nonbinary#ok that’s it goodbye
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wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it
Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.
#there's a variety of reasons for this#part of it is that im GROSSLY unqualified to be handing out diagnoses when it takes a full on PhD to do that in real life#part of it is that psychology is inchoate and we are still very much in murky waters#for example: complex ptsd isn't even IN the DSM yet#and iirc my therapist told me it was because theyre still figuring out how to classify it (attachment disorder? trauma disorder? etc.)#part of it is that (from my limited and undereducated understanding) there are diagnoses that you can assign by completing a checklist...#but some that require a hell of a lot more testing and ruling out other potential causes#and the cluster-b personalities are (IIRC) not even ones you're supposed to diagnose minors with#bc of fears of self fulfilling prophecy and because minors in general are still developing personalities In General#and like the fact that i can't say that with authority speaks to how unqualified i am to do any diagnosing right? hahaha#and part of it is just because like#unless the story is specifically About That and the author has stated so explicitly#i think diagnosing characters tends to put blinders on analysis#like if i were to seriously go 'eridan is autistic' then it would massively bias my reading and understanding of his character#and we have 0 indication that eridan was ever explicitly intended to be autistic or that the author was trying to do an autism specifically#that doesn't mean that the reading is invalid because like thats what death of the author means#all readings are technically valid including stuff the author didn't necessarily intend#but that's just not the way i like to engage with media and not the way i like to approach character analysis#because PERSONALLY it just feels kind of reductive - but also -#i'd wager MOST of us don't have degrees in psychology#so when i say 'X character has Y condition' it might mean something totally different to somebody reading my analysis#even people who have Y condition aren't exempt because a lot of mental illnesses differ from person to person#whereas if i explain “X character has Y thoughts and Z behaviors” there's no ambiguity in that#eridan struggles with noticing that people are suffering and with realizing that he should care#at least part of this is due to his horrific murder-filled upbringing which rendered empathy a detriment & so he learned to ignore it#it could be autism - but it could also be trauma -#or he might just be Like That without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism#& you can't even technically be diagnosed with C-PTSD#or maybe he has a burgeoning personality disorder but you aren't supposed to DX those too early anyway#or maybe hes just 13. see what i mean hahaha. ive reached the 30 tag limit
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I finally did it!! I composed my first cover online with and on my computer ever... (+ LOUD SOUND WARNING for headphone users, the ending especially gets loud...my apologies in advance!) -> AZ's what-if battle theme
#pokemon#pokemon music#pokemon legends z-a#in hindsight the pacing and rhythm is off at certain parts but honestly i am proud at how decent my first attempt turned out to be.#Anyways nothing can be truly perfect#there is always room for improvement.#he was the beginning and the end...hardest description for a character ever#i made the beginning a callback to AZ's past as a king with regal tones#then shifted to a sorrowful passage before entering a respite and changing to a more hopeful#uplifting one where it shows AZ's gradual acceptance of inner peace + discovering the thrill of battles#in other ways you could see the uplifting tone as the kinder side + noble aspects of AZ's character that could have been seen in XY#like he loved pokemon right? And he did care for his kingdom too with his technology and stuff#the rising and falling pitches also can be reflective of his stumbles and regression to his grief along the way
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#can I just. scream for a second#so as is news to no one#we need to start over the entire us medical system from scratch#also I would like to be flayed alive and start over from scratch in the skin department as well#anyway for context: I've had some kind of rash/acne/infection/irritation all over my legs for over a year now#have tried various products and changed habits and products to try and get rid of it to no avail#everyone said you should really just go to a dermatologist#(I was not that inclined to do so bc the previous and only time I'd seen a dermatologist it was not a good experience. very condescending#also I don't like making appointments and stuff. girl I don't have time)#but I decided to be an adult and go (my insurance info seemed to imply I could go with zero copay even)#spoilers: that was not the case#anyway so I show up and surprise surprise: it sucked#she was dismissive and condescending imo. was literally like 'well it could be A B or C but I can't tell'#'all of those are basically impossible to get rid of anyway but the things to try are X Y or Z'#I asked to try Z since X and Y are things that I already tried and did nothing (which I had told her!!!)#but she just kept being like 'you just need to stop picking at it. that's the real problem and that's what's exacerbating your scarring'#(wow thanks never thought of that!) (she also insinuated that my scarring was ugly)#girl I'm not 5 years old I understand.#unfortunately for me that is a compulsion so strong it would probably take years of directed therapy to get me to stop doing that#what I'm here to see you about is to figure out what the problem is and how to stop it from happening in the first place#and STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A COSMETIC ISSUE#it's causing me pain and discomfort that's the main problem! I would like that to stop!! and me not touching it would not solve that proble#also I wanted to ask her about something else but they were too quick about it. felt very Handled if you know what I mean#but anyway#she gave me a prescription for topical antibiotic which was the thing I had not tried#apparently my insurance doesn't cover it and it's also made of gold and plutonium or something#so she gave me a coupon for it#but get this#when I went to pick it up at the pharmacy they didn't take the coupon#the guy said. 'um this only works for the generic brand. and we don't have the generic brand'
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do i really want this relationship to continue tho if i genuinely feel worse after every interaction with her and she is in 89% responsible for my already precarious self esteem crashing and plummeting most severely in the span of just three years?
#aside from everything else she literally ruined my face for me lol#never before uni did i think that i was genuinely ugly. like i never thought i was beautiful or anything#but i was like yeah ok this is fine i can work with that my face is cool#i didnt even notice my nose or the colour and shape of my eyes and i actually liked my lips lol well not anymore 🤡#[girl who is your friend voice] yeah my eyes are blue yours are more the colour of idk a swamp or sth.#yeah you do kinda have a big potato nose. and yeah no my lips are bigger actually see#i have this like aristocratic type of features im good for playing countesses and stuff... you're more of a soubrette kind of face tho#idk people often tell me i look like young meryl str/eep (she does tho) haha omg you know who you look like?? d/olora z/ajick! <3 literally!#omg sorry im not trying to be mean look she's not that ugly!#:)#and like the worst part is she's right! she's right. completely.#the only thing i KNOW im better at is like. Being on stage. yes she's prettier yes she's sexier but i know i have a better stage presence#this is the only thing in my life im confident in. i KNOW what to do on stage. i CAN act. im not the best but im genuinely Good.#and like. so what lol it's literally worthless when juxtaposed against alllllll the other things she's winning at#'im worthless and no one wants to fuck me' is what im getting from this relationship. but sometimes it's funny ig
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Maybe it's hormones and mood but man... Sometimes I feel like a lot of people push a "This character is ultimately the strongest over any of yours" on me and I'm just like //scratches my head// sometimes. Not inspired at anyone or anything just a thought
#It doesnt mean you cant have a strong ass character! Like irdc but it feels like none of my characters can also be as strong or as whatever#Even if i explain stuff like yeah- this guy is x y z and such but then its: actually no. *Your* character cant beat mine and im like... ok#realistically there are a lot of my characters who arent OP nuts and i dont mind if ocs are op either just kinda like :/..#Why cant *i* also have a strong or powerful character?#Why cant i have the same thing lmao#i specifically dont try to overshadow someones character and very minimally try to have it effevt others but idk#nothing in particular!!! at anyone specifically just like.. ponder sauce...#.txt#i dont think having a character who is op ruins it but its also like... so when i have one. Im not really allowed to do that.. k#Like. Natani is a great example of a guy i have literally just decided cannot be very strong or have interesting powers lmao#same with milo. Same with Jun. Same with taya... same with lammek#dont wven get me started on navika and natsuo
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Lost my original post of this from the other day but I genuinely don't understand how Black Butler discourse ever shifted into the does Sebastian ~really~ like Ciel or is Ciel just dinner line of conversation that is pervasive as it is because Sebastian is the one that has absorbed his whole existence into Ciel's. Sebastian's face is what Ciel wants Sebastian's whole purpose is doing things for Ciel Sebastian's every hell of a butler yes my lord speech is about how he's Ciel's and Ciel is the one going around saying shit like whatever Sebastian is just my pawn 💅
#like sjdjdkdd??????#it's not that i don't think ciel loves sebastian per se bc. well. i don't think he'd ever process it in terms like that no matter what...#...kind of relationship they have bc the most important thing to him is getting him to do tasks like a dog and proving he will over and over#which is why sebastian does it all so overkill#but the most acknowledgement you ever get that ciel likes sebastian is stuff like idk the fucking book of atlantic you did good today#or if we're feeling really crazy the you were the only demon there line#like the dynamic has gotten way skewed in fandom away from the actual text#and i know why but it's still annoying bc i am not even saying this in a shippy way bc i don't give a fuck about ships#but they're so crazy entwined and in completely incomparable inhuman situations that it literally has no merit on this story to sit and...#...definitely piece together how this relationship works with real life normie standards like it literally is going to fit into no box of...#...what we think of as friends or siblings or parents or partners bc no victorian guy on the face of the earth has a real pet demon.#it's so boring you're missing the bigger picture that they're everything to each other and completely stuck together forever#does x mean y mean z? (least problematic answer only) they're stuck together! forever!#and no one has demons in real life it's all comparable to real life nothing#other than the asthma that's real#anyway. it's like fandom has made up a version of this story in their heads that is so devoid of anything that makes the story the story#twitter is like another planet for this i am mostly talking about twitter where i have been looking for news about the anime and oh boy#i have said this before but sebastian doesn't have a grip on human relationships bc he's not one and ciel doesn't give a fuck#but like this post started with and strayed from. well. sebastian isn't even trying to act like he's indifferent. ciel actually is.#and we're all missing several funny bits from that just trying to fit everything into a box#we could have more interesting conversations if we got past the same three people have been having for 20 years#kuroshitsuji#my kuro posts
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The lil corner of the Good Omens fandom that I generally see is getting more and more into publicly declaring that That Theory I Dislike Is Bad And People Who Ascribe To It Should Feel Bad, and I don't know if it's really new, or if I was just lucky enough to generally be missed with that shit the last four years.
Different people's brains work differently, which means they will notice things, form interpretations, maybe come to extremely firm conclusions, all different from each others'. Different from mine, different from yours.
I get that some people think that they have the brain which produces the Objectively Superior theories (and/or which can easily determine which other people's theories are the Objectively Inferior ones). I just really missed the memo where Your Interpretation Is Not My Interpretation (And That's Okay) was dragged out back and fucking shot.
Anyway this blog is an "I may not agree with your theory but you may trust that I won't publicly heap scorn upon the very idea of having it" zone if anyone was wondering.
#negativity#discourse type stuff#apparently i can't turn off replies to a specific post? but i am Not Interested in discussing why that kind of behavior is okay actually#also Not Interested in hearing about how i'm overreacting#unless you are prepared to prove that you have personally catalogued everything that I have read/seen/etc on this topic#this is not about any one specific post just about the bizarrely judgemental zeitgeist#also not about any of the posts where someone is like 'huh i know people like this theory but i'm not sure here let me tell you why'#i've always seen posts like those and those are great because YTINMTATO remains intact#JUST. yeah. Not Interested in discussing this at all really#but i've seen some posts that made me feel bad for being so unthinking as to ever find merit in this or that theory#and i'm probably not the only one feeling bad?#so you can think x character is fake or y character is secretly running everything from behind the curtain or z object was drugged#(or none of these things at all!!)#and i 100% promise i am not scoffing at the foolishness of falling for such a completely unsupported idea#i PROMISE i am not going to be mean#because if i wanted to *reduce* the amount of kindness in the world then i wouldn't have created the fucking Soft Zone now would I
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ok so here's the gossip. me and my two friends are going up to brum to see hozier in december, but one girl has been SO nasty to another one of her friends recently and its been pissing us all off. like ok so nasty one is Z, and the one she's being nasty is A. A lives two doors down from Z, and so a lot of the time Z offers lifts back and to from college because its just on the way. However they've never discussed petrol money because Z said there's no point since its on the way. But last week Z OFFERED to give A a lift home and then decided to skip class, and just messaged A being like "went home. Get the bus back" knowing A was in a driving lesson and wouldn't see that until they got back to campus, which is especially fucky because they live in the next town over so the bus is over two hours compared to a 30 minute car drive. then yesterday Z sent a text being like "you owe me this much for the 11 car rides ive given you. I want to be helpful and I enjoy helping people, but i don't like being a taxi." even though she OFFERED and just sprung this on A without ever discussing payment, despite the fact its not even like she's going out of her way because they live TWO DOORS AWAY. and like it isn't only this, Z treats A like a massive punching bag. so where the hozier thing comes in, Z is going with me. however if this bitch pisses me off too much, IM the one who has the tickets and i will literally just give her ticket to someone else. she's the only one who drives and will probably be like "oh you guys can't get down without me" try me bitch
gossip asks have got to be my favourite type of asks like idk how we even got to this point where people regularly tell me about their current personal gossip but i need you to picture me sat with you holding a glass of wine gasping and nodding at the appropriate moments
#WHAT HAPPENED AT THE CONCERT. DID Z GO IN THE END. GIVE ME AN UPDATE#im on A's side here like as the mate that did live out in the sticks & had to rely on my one friend to give me lifts when we planned stuff#bc she was the only one who could drive at the time it is a SHITTY position to be in#and id always offer petrol money and id always be super grateful but she'd still have such an arse about her for it#and make it very clear she was doing me a huge favour and it's like girl. it's this or leaving me stranded 13 miles away from my house#like i get it would be annoying if people were actually skimping off you and taking the piss but i know for a fact when i drive#i'd ALWAYS help people out if i thought they were stuck. like that's just common decency i think#ask
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"The truth is, I also wanted to see you change the future. But there wasn't enough time."
is far too potent a line to come from Yugioh
#yugioh 5ds#this is not a jab at yugioh btw#it's a jab at people who think yugioh is silly#like you're entitled to your opinions and not everyone has to like everything but if youve never watched it#then you're missing what its fans actually love about it#yeah sometimes it IS silly#like the time judai/jaden duels a freaking monkey in gx#but then you have stuff like *z-one*#and maybe this line is only potent in context but idc#i watch the end of that duel and this is the line that sticks in my head from it#because the whole time youre fed this idea from him that hope is pointless that he *tried* that and it didn't work so he gave up on hope#but no he actually *didn't*#he never actually gave up hope the real problem is that he ran out of *time*#so he came back to *change that* to give everyone else the time that he didn't have#(i mean his methods were terrible but that's not the point)#(i could write a whole frickin essay on z-one okay he intrigues me as a character)#anyway all that to say that yeah sometimes it IS a silly card game anime but sometimes it tells really great stories too
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I truly can’t believe I have to say this but I am so so sick of some people my age (namely those who are tiktok users, and therefore are deeply influenced by “woke” stereotypes about queer people and queer identities that are often perpetrated on that site) telling me that it’s weird to talk about growing up as a female or about experiencing sexism because I’m not a girl? and that it either “makes it seem like I’m not really queer” when I talk about my connection to girlhood or that these things “shouldn’t concern me.” because they very much do and that’s such an ridiculous and inconsiderate thing to say.
I was afab and whether I wanted it or not I was treated like a girl and experienced childhood as a girl. I am not out to many people in my life and in their eyes I am a girl.
as a genderqueer person I still experience and feel very connected to my girlhood and the solidarity that I have among girls and women because of shared experiences despite not often identifying as a girl myself. this is because of many factors including socialization, oppression and personal identity. truly can’t believe most people I know (and quite a lot of people online as well) still don’t understand that the oppression I have experienced as a queer person who was afab and the oppression I have experienced being seen as a girl are interconnected and that we have to address multiple layers of discrimination simultaneously if we want anything to change. this is. not new information. I can’t believe people don’t get this.
#like there’s a very obvious regression to backwards gender roles on tiktok atm#and this affects people who don’t identify as female or male as well because if you have your girl boss girl dinner bimbo queens#and your borderline abusive masculine energy manly men#then nonbinary people are put into this third easy to understand category of#uwu they/them no gender goblincore inhuman elf cuties#and obviously this is as harmful like the other two because it generalises and stereotypes real people into toxic trendy groups#but it’s also harmful because people will think that if you are one of these then you can’t be another#cis gay men get a pass on tiktok and are allowed to be slay queens as well#but if someone is trans than they have to act very stereotypical of their gender or they’re questioned#I have seen this far too much in tiktoks to pass it off as a few harmful users and not the marjority#bc it really is the majority#and if it was only like that on social media I would care less but people literally act like this irl everyday#my aerial class in particular is really bad for some reason#every signal teenage girl there acts like this and says really harmful stuff and I’m just like#do you hear what is coming out of your mouth ???#and they have pronoun badges even tho they’re apparently cis and dyed hair and the like#which I think makes them think they look like woke gen x girlies#but doesn’t help them with actually being normal and respectful to other human beings#from the groups they apparently support#shit I really ranted here but I’m so fed up#sexism#misogyny#girlhood#nonbinary#anti tiktok#tiktok critical#gen z#mine#genderqueer
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starting the year ✨wrong✨
#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa)#i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao#first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice#and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads.#rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried#that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning#b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language#so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part esp s o bs#and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off..#well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨#(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese)#(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig)#a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week#b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge)#and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig#so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa#idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh#i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o .#ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :(#speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)…#is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him???????#our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa#aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory)#felt cute; thought about retiring early idk
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i really want to write but the problem is having too many wips and ideas, and no direction (i.e. not knowing what anyone wants to see)
#this is why prompts are helpful#but i really want to write something a bit longer#i keep getting this really sad feeling that no one would be interested though#multichapter fics are very quickly forgotten as well - no one's talking to me about them#i have no idea if anyone goees back to my 'older' stuff i feel like it's just... fallen into a void and is forgotten/discarded#please know you can *always* talk to me about my fics#or ask me about ideas for fics or if i have anything for pairing x/y or kink z or whatever#if someone is enthusiastic about something chances are very high that i'll write more of what they enjoy
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Man oni can't do this to me I'm supposed to be preparing for artfight but all I can think abt is Them™ from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed how am I supposed to prepare in these circumstances 😔
#rat rambles#oni posting#and dude the beta is probably still going to be going during that time klei how could you do this to me#like I will still be participating in artfight but I fear Ill be on oni lockdown for the first week or smth dhskdhkdh#Ill try to at least sketch some stuff out but god if I can get my hands onto any amount of lore its so jover#now thats not a guarantee this is a beta after all but god man. fuck.#also I need to know the new dupes name right now its important#mostly because I want confirmation that I got z on the cypher right lol#chances are theyll just have another a name or smth#who knows maybe theyll have a w name and be the second ever contender for being sent to the constant#although for all we know there could be plenty more w names in the cast that are just hidden in the full names like with nails#I am in such agony rn with seemingly every place ppl post abt oni being dead silent still hello is anyone there#I thought Id at least see some more speculative stuff on the gameplay side of things but Ive seen like 2 things where ppl even bring it up#tbf some of the new stuff seems pretty obvious to deduce to me like there's no way the new fox deers dont produce lumber#and we already know the bunny guys (or the big one at least) provides reed fiber at least#the plants are mostly more mysterious tho#we have the obvious one being our new bestie the oxylite plant and the lil puffball tree thats probably the new decor plant#and the crystal grapes are probably going to be a new muckroot equivalent and at least one of the new plants probably produces smth edible#as for what recourses they need we know that at least 2 of them need watered in some way#Im currently betting theyll need ethanol but thats not based on a lot#honestly if any of them use plain ol water or even any water variants Ill be surprised#I wouldn't be surprised if most of them take ethanol or some liquid gas or smth#I still am holding out on a plant that consumed liquid carbon dioxide but Im not too hopeful#one thing Im very curious on is just everything abt how the oxylite plant grows I wanna know how good itll be so bad#because I am a proud member of the desperately wants more viable oxygen production option in oni gang and I wanna see this baby flourish#but based on how seemingly abundant it is Im afraid itll just join the squad of early game oxygen options that become too much of a hassle#to sustain late game so you're usually just going to switch to exlectroliszers each time#I hope Im wrong but I wont be surprised if Im not#they already took one oxygen plant out back and shot it dead so this guy might just be a corpse on arival if we're unlucky#well hey thats why there's a beta ig gotta make sure things are balanced or whatever
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i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating
#again i do not have enough performance experiences to make any definitive claims about who ''aubery's audience'' is#but i find it funny that any time i show my aubrey material one-on-one to a queer gen z person#they're always like ''i love it but straight people will definitely hate it or not get it''#and i get the inclination to be like. ''i like this thing so people like me will like this thing''#and cishet society seems so polarized w/r/t queer topics it's like. the assumption makes sense#however. whenever i've done an aubrey performance in front of an audience that's predominantly queer and gen z#i've actually received a primarily negative response!! and somehow straight people have never given me shit for my aubrey material#(''well straight allys don't count'' i told some of my aubrey jokes to a joe rogan dudebro and he enjoyed them)#(which yeah maybe could be a mark against my comedy but i like to think i opened his mind a bit at the very least)#i really want to test my aubrey monologues in front of a primarily gen x/boomer audience#bc so far i only have actual performance experience in front of gen z or millennials#and the older people i've told jokes to individually or shown videos of my stuff have really liked it#luckily paul has said a goal for when i'm in town this summer is to get me to perform my aubrey stuff in as many different places as possib#for both queer audiences and non-queer audiences so i can gauge reactions since i don't want to be confined to one demographic#so i'll get a lot of data points this summer#@ paul get me a performing slot at senior citizen pride lmao these are my people#(shoutout to paul going ''jess stop collecting the old homos!'' last time i was in town)#(and when i imitated him and was like ''old gay men are not your pokemon!'' bellini was like ''ok but they may be your audience'')#also one data point i really want to see the variation on is how my one specific joke plays in these different demographics#bc i have a joke that like. it's literally not even about AIDS and doesn't punch down at all#i literally say ''if you're gay and over the age of 50 you could violate the geneva convention and i'd still be like support our troops''#like obviously being like ''you have been through hell so i will let you get away with literal war crimes you deserve ultimate immunity''#BUT. in the line right before the quote i use the phrase ''AIDS generation'' not as a derogatory term but being like.#this horrible thing impacted the entire generation y'know? and bellini and scott and their friends call themselves that it's just the term#but when i said the phrase ''AIDS generation'' in front of my gen z audience i heard gasps and felt like they all hated me#and when i did the same line in front of millennials it wasn't quite as striking but their eyes did widen#like i was suddenly an ''edgy comedian''. but like this is a part of our history and it does inform the story i'm telling#the story i'm telling is comedic but it's grounded in this real world context#and i'm like. @ the audience who was offended: when was the last time any of y'all spoke to a gay man over the age of 50#bc bellini loves that section of the monologue and was offended that people would even take offense to that phrase
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