#twitter is like another planet for this i am mostly talking about twitter where i have been looking for news about the anime and oh boy

[minakoaiinos]

Lost my original post of this from the other day but I genuinely don't understand how Black Butler discourse ever shifted into the does Sebastian ~really~ like Ciel or is Ciel just dinner line of conversation that is pervasive as it is because Sebastian is the one that has absorbed his whole existence into Ciel's. Sebastian's face is what Ciel wants Sebastian's whole purpose is doing things for Ciel Sebastian's every hell of a butler yes my lord speech is about how he's Ciel's and Ciel is the one going around saying shit like whatever Sebastian is just my pawn 💅

[erosastro]

Astro Observations📍

🎈Okay let me know how you guys feel about this one, but I’ve noticed with Synastry, if say you have a cancer Venus and your partner has a Pisces Mars but they’re not enough to make the trine aspect, the effect is still felt just not to the same extent. So imo it’s still a good and significant thing but it might almost be felt not immediately or as strongly as the aspect itself?

🎈Everyone talks about how Virgo placements are always “clean” and “organised” but I really think it depends on how it’s aspected. For example my Virgo ascendant is square my Sun and square my Pluto and I’m messy as hell. Though I have to say there’s some things where it might seem messy but it’s organised chaos in way? lol

🎈I’ve noticed that one of the things that stand out the most in my relationships (romantic or otherwise) in people I get alone with, is Venus conjunct moon and Sun trine Moon. Those are always my best relationships where there’s mutual understanding and mutual respect.

🎈Moon conjunct Neptune tend be very psychic and intuitive people, especially if Neptune is well aspected to other personal aspects too.

🎈Aquarius placements can be very clingy and I don’t know if they realise this but once they’re comfortable with someone, they can be clingy and it can turn into them being like leeches too in some cases (I.e. will not let go at any cost and you have to pry them off). They also tend to stay in toxic situations longer than necessary at times especially if they have water placements in their chart too in their personal planets (for eg Aquarius Sun with a Pisces Venus)

🎈Let’s talk about Libra and Pisces placements and their avoidance of conflict at all costs. They’d rather push things under the rug than deal with it head on or tend to be “fence sitters” even when a situation calls for being firm in one side or the other. A lot of people think Gemini’s play devils advocate but in my experience, I’ve seen this mostly with Libra and Pisces placements.

🎈Saturn in 8th house in a natal chart is a really tough placement to have. These individuals experience a lot of loss in their lives from an early age and their transformations tend be very intense, more so than most other peoples. They also tend to have delayed sexual experiences but it can also be explosive.

🎈I am personally a fan of opposite connections (eg Taurus Moon x Scorpio Moon) in romantic and other connections. I think it’s the right amount of challenging but they also still have a lot in common. Of course there should also be other harmonious aspects in someone’s chart too but I personally love opposite aspects in synastry.

🎈I saw this on twitter and I was surprised that this person was dragged for it but there was a post about how air signs don’t work with water signs because air signs can’t be emotionally mature enough etc. all the usual stereotypes (don’t go on twitter astrology pages they’re full of it on another note) but someone pointed out the air signs are actually very in touch with their emotions as they rule the heart chakra and they were mocked for it and it made me realise people actually don’t know this?? Air signs rule the heart chakra guys believe it or not and they’re not as emotionally inept as people think they are 🤣

🎈I know 7th house overlays are considered one of the best because it’s the house that represents partnerships but people forget it also represents enemies, so it’s not unlikely you may not get along with some people who have 7th house overlays with (obviously check aspects as well).

🎈Okay has anyone noticed that Sun trine Sun can definitely get along really well but they can also really despise each other?? Like I’ve noticed this a lot and I can’t figure out why, like even if they have other placements that are favourable, for some reason the Sun trine Sun is what I’ve noticed as a pattern the most for people that clash.

🎈Prettiest/most good looking rising signs imo are Mercurial risings(gemini/virgo) and Cancer/Pisces risings. Idk there’s something ethereal about them👀shoutout to Libra risings too

🎈let me tell you something, one of the worst aspects you could have with someone(that I’ve experienced personally), whether romantic or friendship wise, it’s Mercury opposite/square Mercury. The communication is either really heated and you can’t get on the same page or non-existent and hard to come across. I don’t recommend it 🙃

🎈Favourite composite moon for friendships/siblings is Gemini/Leo. Favourite composite moon for romantic relationships is Taurus/Cancer or Libra and for parents/parental figures is Cancer/Virgo.

[dysthoepiadaily]

how are you gonna casually mention the symbolism behind dan's branding and not drop the entire essay, wth op... 😔

Mostly because if I write it, it'll take a lot of effort, and I think I'll be writing for an audience of one, LOL, given that I tend to get slightly technical with vedic astrology, and my whole thesis is based on vedic astrology, LMAO. And, bc this is already in my mind, I didn't really think to elaborate on it, given how much vedic astrology exposition I would have to do. But, I am itching at the seams to talk about it, so prepare for a long ass essay under the cut, ig

DISCLAIMER: I am not trying to say that any of this is REAL, I am simply pointing out coincidences and patterns that are interesting to me. While I believe in astrology, I don't expect others to, and I'm uninterested in arguing about the causes, effects, and underlying meaning of any of this. I just find it interesting

Basic thing is that Dan has Ketu (South Node) in the first house, and that is interesting, because Ketu is quite an invisible planet. Like, what it rules is authenticity, purity, soul purpose, divine inspiration, isolation. When you think of a planet like this, it's almost impossible for it to get famous, if that makes any sense. Fame would ruin the purity of a planet like this. The ideal expression of this planet is as a saint or a monk, away from the world.

Fortunately, this planet is always expressed to the masses through its opposite, Rahu (North Node). Rahu is a planet that rules glamour, the material world, fame, the occult. Rahu and Ketu are two halves of a whole, often symbolized by an immortal beheaded serpent. Ketu is considered to be the body of the serpent (lacking senses, but has the ability to move using muscle memory), and Rahu, the head of the serpent (ability to speak, think, see, focus, but unable to act). Having Ketu in first house means that Dan's Rahu is in the seventh house, the house of the partner.

Because Ketu is associated with purity, it's also associated with loss, fire, and doom. Kind of like, it burns down whatever is in its way, and what remains is the purest form of the object (According to hindu mythology, the material world is not real, and ashes, then, show the inherent nothingness of the world. brand appropriate for Dan). This is where we get into Dan's first symbolic brand, which is "danisnotonfire". With this branding, Dan sort of erases the effect of the firey nature of Ketu, and increase his Rahu. Funnily enough, according to the Vimshottari Dasha system, his Rahu dasha (activation period for Rahu) began in April 2009. I couldn't begin to make this shit up, because Dan started his twitter account in May 2009, a month after his rahu dasha started. This dasha will end in April 2027, btw.

With Rahu being in the house of the spouse, this name is also what attracted his partner to him (Phil has pretty significant Rahu in his chart, as well, which is why he is indicated by Rahu in Dan's chart, but Dan's Rahu is stronger, just harder for him to access, since it is not HIM). This partner also brought him fame and material gain.

Because Rahu is associated with glamour, it's also associated with inauthenticity, hoarding (material resources are simply not real), anxiety and, also... fun. Ketu is all about purity, doom and gloom, and meditation, but Rahu is about stimulation. If you get too into it, and base your life on it, it becomes anxiety inducing, but if you treat it as a video game you can log out of anytime, it starts to become fun and enjoyable. Unfortunately, this is very difficult for most people to do, because Rahu is the material reality that tries to trick you into thinking it is the most important thing in the world.

Rahu and Ketu require for there to be a balance, basically, for their ideal expressions, because excess of Ketu brings depression and inertia, while excess of Rahu brings anxiety and overstimulation. They are natural cures for one another. Rahu and Ketu are also not real planets, and they are mathematical points that are meant to show the timings for... eclipses. Yes, a classic Dan Branding!!!!

The best way to deal with Rahu and Ketu is by enjoying Rahu, and then burning down the Rahu with Ketu whenever it gets too anxiety inducing. So, when Dan got tired of the inauthenticity of Rahu, he basically burned down the danisnotonfire brand, to be more authentic to himself. And, during this time as Daniel Howell (his true self, in a way), he posted less, and he came out as gay to be true to himself (Ketu authenticity).

Because he actively tried to strengthen his Ketu during this time, he also lost a lot of projects he meant to do (ketu rules loss, if you guys remember), and had a bit of a difficult time. Ketu isn't an easy planet to deal with, AT ALL. Strong Ketu means dealing with constant failures, dislike from other people, and being forcibly isolated in many ways. That said, Ketu is still a force to be reckoned with, and if something is successful even when Ketu is strong, it's considered extremely important, materially as well as spiritually, because it is divinely guided, and Dan executed some of his absolute best work during this time, as well, as is natural for ketu.

Anyway, Dan's new return to youtube is marked by... DanandPhilGames, the channel where he is with Phil, who represents his Rahu. With Phil, he can gain a lot of success, because Rahu allows you to do the fun and silly projects that Ketu will never let you do.

I think that's maybe all of it? If you guys have any questions, feel free to ask, LMAO

TL;DR

Rahu is inauthentic material life and also fun, ketu is authentic spirituality and also depression, Dan's Ketu is him by himself, and his Rahu is Phil. Dan's eclipse shirt brings balance to his Rahu and Ketu, his danisnotonfire brand reduced the impact of Ketu into his life, and also got his partner into his life, and the DanandPhilGames brand does a similar thing as danisnotonfire did.

[catras-breakup-song]

how do you feel about the whole "you always wanted more" line that got cut? at first i was wondering why they did that because adora didn't want more until it made me think "huh, what if prime was just running on catra's memories and didn't actually know adora?" but i'm curious as to what you think

OH MY GOD I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED THIS. i am such a sucker for the cut STC script. back in late 2020 & early 2021 i had a twitter layout based on “that little spot on the roof that only they knew about” because S3 is my favorite:

even better, i have another old twitter fancam saved from around that time too that used that screenshot of the script in the beginning. it was by the username yoosene but is now long gone, so i reuploaded it to imgur here (the hands part, i’m going insane…)!

anyway, as for interpretations, it was absolutely to manipulate & guilt-trip adora. i recently saw someone say (i don’t remember where though, sorry) that he was torturing both of them by setting up that nasty fight against both of their wills and had planned to kill catra all along — despite saying he wouldn’t right after she rescued glimmer and was imprisoned for it, in my opinion there was an unspoken “yet” even though he did technically say that word but you know what i mean; “you will be of use to me, and then everyone from your blighted planet, including yourself, will be destroyed.”

that’s the thing about what the show was trying to convey through her stay on prime’s ship via glimmer’s desperate pleas, isn’t it? her illusion of power was only ever temporary. once she no longer had anything of value to serve, what would she be worth? how could she have genuinely believed that he wanted to save her, of all living beings, from the curse of humanity & will of consciousness? what makes one individual different to an omnipotent god compared to countless others across the universe throughout space and time? i truly believe that he was subtly mocking her when he talked of her being “exalted, raised up above the other wretched creatures of [her] home world.”

i was actually trying to find another five by five takes quote about this, because mentioning them is always an obligation for me, but surprisingly i didn't really find anything about how catra had worked her way up to prime's recognized single subordinate (only that moment of reflection afterward, which is just this entire short video), and was under the false impression with a cocky & confident attitude that her position meant something for her safety & survival; i'm mostly referring to this moment:

the horde's the horde...even in space. as long as i'm of value to horde prime, i've got a place in this world. i can work my way up here, just like i did before.

actually y’know what… i’m going to tag @horde-princess because this is starting to dive into religious meta which is like… her whole gimmick thingy. we would be blessed (pun intended) to see your take on this writing that never made it to the show, if you haven’t given it already!

now this is veering too far off from the original point after getting sidetracked. the tone of those quotes in the alternate script is (fake) pity, and horde prime was entertained by the struggles of mere mortals. to make adora a failure of what she represented would surely force her to give up she-ra to him, because what would even be the point anymore of living up to expectations if she couldn’t save catra first & foremost (that’s something that she struggled with since initially leaving the horde over three years ago due to how catra made her feel about supposedly breaking their childhood promise… but it’s a story for another post)?

i don’t doubt that your thought process is at least partially right too though, anon. prime didn’t read adora’s mind thoroughly at any point, so it’s entirely possible that he just read off catra’s intense feelings of abandonment & betrayal. that being said, if he really did see all as he claimed, maybe he was able to recreate an objectively accurate collection of events and knows what really happened and what the intentions behind certain actions were. i also wonder if catra secretly knew deep down that adora’s defection wasn’t directly about her but just couldn’t admit it until she had time to deeply reflect on it during “corridors.”

i’ll leave this messy, unorganized post with an amazingly relevant gif set made by an editor whose work on here i really enjoy:

as i said a long time ago, you just had to be there on november 19th 2020 when that excerpt was released because the hype was crazy!

[forjongseong]

NOO BECAUSE 🎀 ANON IS SO RIGHT ABOUT JAYS FANBASE BEING OLDER? it didn’t click into my head until now but it’s true that i rarely see jay stans that are still underage. enha’s fanbase as a whole is really young imo so even jays fans who tend to be older end up just being around his age and slightly older than hee too. and the stuff about jay being Hong Kong actor handsome is also so true i feel like he would absolutely demolish a concept centered around wong kar wai’s typical movie aesthetic.

as for the how other writers write jay i kinda agree with that anon but also i get why some writers lean into that. if someone who just joined the fandom is trying to write for him, their first thought is going to be writing jay as cold and more mean just because that’s the image they get at first glance. we obviously know that that’s not true but that’s mostly because we’ve spent more time the fandom (and consumed other media outside of tumblr) and know how he is (or at least how he presents himself). i get how annoying it can be though especially since many people just don’t write for jay as often as they do the other members so it seems like more and more fanfics don’t have the variety that usually given to the other members since jay comparatively has a lower pool to choose from.

and as for why jay isn’t written about as much (this such a long ask im so sorry LMAO) i think a big is how people present him in the fandom which kinda connects to the fanfics. you go on tiktok and some of the top tiktoks of jay are about how he’s rich, how he likes corn, how he has “anger issues”, basically a bunch of first glance stuff that don’t really encompass who he is. thankfully now and a lot of people on there talk more about how goofy he is and how much he cares for others but since tiktok is so widely used now, if someone is introduced to enha through tiktok, they probably get a very skewed view of jay. that’s just my experience as someone who got into enha last year through tiktok! i personally had a very different view of jay for a while until i saw him play polaroid love on the guitar and idk he just seemed so much more “human” i guess? more like he finally seemed like he had much more of a personality and depth to him than what people on tiktok were saying.

your writings however especially the assistant jay series OH MY GOD chefs kiss 💋

🎀 ANON HERE YOU GO another anon who agrees!

WONG KAR WAI!!!! BESTIE I SWEAR TO GOD I found an edit either on Twitter or TikTok of Jay and Wong Kar Wai omg I'm sad I didn't save the link or something but yes a thousand times yes... HIM and his aesthetic! also sometimes I joke around with my friends saying that Jay looks so mature he almost looks like he's Park Hae Soo's age (not to mention their vibes are similar too ahsdahsdhdsa OR MAYBE the CEO/husband from The Glory????)

I agree with you saying that the cold/cool guy image is the first thing they get when they are first introduced to Jay (especially since debut era where he was blonde and overall just exuded jock vibes) anyway agree with that whole paragraph

DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THE LONG ASK I am here for it honestly can you all send more???? stay hidden in anon, I don't mind. I just love reading this stuff.

the "anger issues" HELP thanks for putting that in quotes... I don't know what other people's fyp look like but mine are just funny edits of enhypen 😭 I followed enha since their egg days (I-LAND) so I already knew the type of guy Jay is, so I think that's what made it feel jarring to me the way some people rely on Jay's outer appearance or first impression/vibe to build his character. on god the people on tiktok are another breed though. tumblr engenes, tiktok engenes, and twitter engenes are all from different planets hasdhashdsa

thank you for loving secretary Jay 💋💋💋

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts

I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed

If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.

I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.

(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)

Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).

And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.

I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.

I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.

The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.

Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)

I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.

While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.

(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)

Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.

KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.

I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.

I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.

As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?

[pendragonfics]

Secret Lover

Paring: Clark Kent/Reader

Tags:  male reader, female reader, no pronouns for reader, daily planet, reporter reader, secret relationship

Summary: It's just another day working for the Daily Planet until you're face-to-face with the Superman...

Word Count: 1,302

Current Date: 2020-12-07

According to the movies, it was easy to live in a romantic-comedy bubble. But no matter how hard you tried to live in a cringe Hallmark knockoff movie, there was no magic in your life. It was supposed to be great, as soon as you moved to Metropolis; but then again, you were a romantic at heart. You were just a food blogger freelancing for the Daily Planet. It was going to get better than taking photos of cupcakes and artesian cheese boards. It had to.

“Order for…?” the barista called out, frowning at the scribble. “I can’t read–”

Glancing from your phone, you recognise your order in their hand. Pushing to the front, you grab your coffee. It was unusually packed in the café, and glad for your mask, you leave the café. It’s been some time since your first debut after lockdown, and yet, you still feel some awkwardness around crowds. Luckily the streets are less filled at this hour, so the walk to work isn’t as intense.

But just as you make it into the lobby, you’re bombarded by the new intern. Jerry? Jarod? Whatever his name is, he’s distraught.

“I can’t believe my luck, you’re here,” he babbles. “I was going to pass out.”

Barely looking to him, you take a sip of your drink. As both of you enter the elevator, he goes on, but most of it is incomprehensible and confusing. “Slow down, kid.” You eye him, not jealous of whatever has made him get to this emotional state before nine in the morning. “One word at a time.”

“Channel three hundred have a news crew upstairs,” he leans against the elevator wall, out of breath. “The usual execs have food poisoning, and Ms Lane is in Illinois–” he explains.

“–What about Kent?” you blink.

“He was going to,” the intern explained miserably, “But then he ran off.”

You roll your eyes, and down the rest of your drink in a matter of seconds. The lights above the door flicker closer and closer to the top floor and you brace yourself. “Well. Hopefully, I get the promotion after this.”

The doors open, and you pass the intern your empty cup. The news crew are in the glass office walls of the meeting room, and to your surprise, there’s someone other than the semi-famous news anchor John Robbins in there; he’s unmistakable, an iconic face around the city of Metropolis, and currently, stands half-hidden behind someone you don’t recognise. But as soon as you falter, you straighten your shoulders and enter the room.

“You must be the food and culture writer,” John beamed. “___________?”

“Yes,” you looked between John and the guest in the room. Clearing your throat, you felt your face grow hot, and you corrected his assumption, “…I’m actually just a food writer, mostly freelance.” You glanced once more to the guest. “It’s surreal. I’m in a room with the Superman,” you smile.

“It’s good to finally meet the person behind the article,” he holds his hand to yours to shake. You blink. Wiping your palm on your pants before touching his, you notice his grip is firm, and cool to the touch. You’re focused on the sensations that when you realise that he’s still talking, you’ve missed half of what he’s been saying “–I liked your article about the artesian gelato.”

“That’s – thank you.”

You glance to the side and catch sight of the intern through the glass walls. He stands there, phone facing you. It’s when the flash goes off, you feel your face heat up again. But before you can move to him to cut it off, John starts blocking for the report.

“We go live in three, two…” the camerawoman announced, putting a finger down until the anchor started speaking.

“Good morning, Metropolis! I’m John Robbins, coming to you live from the Daily Planet headquarters where I have journalist _________ ___________ and the blue boy scout himself, Superman with me! It’s not every day the little person can say they were a part of a city-wide effort to reduce crime. Two weeks ago, _________’s article on the seemingly innocuous Parisian restaurant in downtown Metropolis led to the raid carried out earlier today by a joint effort of both Gotham and Metropolis police to rid the city of the underground crime family.”

The microphone moved from his hand to before your face. “So, _________? What do you think of the events, in relation to the Daily Planet?”

You put on your best smile. “Only good things. As the oldest reliable analogue news source to Metropolis, here at the Daily Planet we only tell the news as it breaks and chases the truth as far as it takes.”

“And thanks to your own article, Superman was able to take down the operation. Did you know of this illegal behaviour going on behind the restaurant’s doors? Or was this a fluke?”

“I don’t believe that _________ here knew of the illicit goings-on,” Superman answered, turning to John. “After all, they are a stellar reporter, however, that hard work clearly goes into their reviews on the restaurant scene of the city, not crime.” Superman gave a winning smile, his white teeth brighter than a doctored image for dentistry. “The breakthrough they made goes back to the lack of an interview with the sous-chef, which left them a lack of an alibi.”

“Well, there you have it, folks, straight from the mouth of our very own Superman!” the news anchor beamed, looking into the camera. I’m John Robbins, live from the Daily Planet. Now, back to you in the studio, Margot!”

As soon as the light stopped flashing on the camera, you turned to Superman, somewhat unsure of yourself; what to say, what to do with your hands. You bite your lip, but just before you went to leave the meeting room, you turn to John. He’s being dusted off with a powder puff by someone, and as his eyes are closed, you fold your arms.

“Robbins,” you smile, as sweetly as you can. Eyes still closed; you see a smug little smile on his face. But it was going to be wiped off soon enough, “The next time you accuse me of working for a Gotham mafioso ring on live television, I’ll leak your Themyscira-themed leather fetish Instagram.”

You didn’t stay to watch him pale.

-

Later that night, back at your apartment, you stand on the balcony holding a mug of tea. It’s not snowing yet, but despite the chill, it was a pleasant evening; you were apparently trending on Twitter under #HUMBLEBRAG, with some photos of your face cropped by teens on posted to humour blogs. Your fifteen minutes of fame was fleeting, sure, but you’d never get the look of shock on that hubris-filled man from your memory.

“Is this seat taken?”

You peer down the fire escape, to see Clark. He’s not exactly climbing the emergency stairs but flying slow enough to appear so. He’s still in his suit, like earlier, but now, he’s got an ugly holiday sweater covering his signature S.

“You own half the lease,” you smile, over your mug. “Be my guest.”

He clears his throat. “You mean Clark Kent owns the other half, not Superman,” he says, quietly, climbing over the railing.

You roll your eyes. “I still can’t believe your disguise is a pair of cheap specs.” You lean toward Clark and leave a kiss on his cheek. “And that I have to pretend I don’t know you every time you take them off.”  

“What do you mean?” Clark slides the glasses down his nose and up a few times as if he’s readjusting the frames. “I’m perfectly hidden.”

“So am I,” you whisper, kissing the tip of his nose. “Can’t believe I’m Superman’s secret lover.”

[hold-my-hand-kuroo]

rainy days with seijoh third years

oikawa tooru

He’s the type of guy who invites you over knowing well that it’ll rain later in the day and go, “Oh no. Not a storm. I guess you’ll have to stay here longer.” He doesn’t even try to act as if he’s already had everything planned out and is insistent that you stay the night, even if the rain stops sooner than expected.

He likes the idea of turning off all the lights in his home. It’s dark and cozy, and he’ll even make a pillow fort with all the blankets he has in his home so that you can snuggle with him in comfort.

X-Files is an absolute must. The combination of you in his arms with aliens in the background is far too good to pass off, and while he has an episode playing in the background, he’ll be talking to you about the latest extraterrestrial news. If you take the time respond back with questions, even simple ones like asking about the names of planets, Oikawa will practically glow. It shows him that you’re interested in his nerding out or at the very least, paying attention to his rambling, and not many people can do that.

Kisses are also important. Every few seconds or so, he’ll tilt his head to kiss you lightly on the forehead or cheek. There’s something about being so close to you in such a dark setting that he finds intimate, and if he’s not careful, he’ll definitely fall asleep with an arm over your waist.

He’s not actually afraid of thunder, but whenever there is a loud rumble that shakes the entire building, he’ll pretend to be scared and ask for you to comfort him. This is secret code for Oikawa telling you that he wants to be the little spoon.

Even if you try to leave the fort to get a snack or use the bathroom, he follows you all the way until he can’t. You practically have to drag him wherever you go, because he really won’t let go of your waist.

When he sees that you’re getting a little sleepy, he’ll turn off the TV and take you to bed. If the thunder is too loud for you to fall asleep, he’ll press your head to his chest and hum offkey to help drown out the sounds. And if that doesn’t work, you best believe that you’ll be up all night talking to him about anything and everything.

iwaizumi hajime

He’s the literal epitome of responsibility, so once he hears the first drops of rain pitter-patter against the window, he’s going around the entire house to check if he’s prepared for a storm. If there’s laundry hanging out to dry, he has that taken back inside immediately, asking you to help but only if you’re willing. He’ll triple-check to see if all the windows are closed properly and if he has enough food in the fridge to last the day.

He cooks dinner with you for a multitude of reasons, telling you that it’s the healthier and more economic option that take-out is, but it’s secretly due to the fact that it’s a small taste of a domestic life with you. From the beginning where the two of you are doing simple ingredient prep and brainstorming what you could make from a limited array of resources to the end where you’re playfully splashing water at him while washing the dishes, Iwaizumi enjoys all of it.

Like Oikawa, there are times were he also nerds out, so when everything is said and done with dinner, he has you sit in his lap with two cups of warm tea set aside on the table. He’ll let you pick a book from his shelves, each one being about monsters or mythological creatures, and he’ll read it to you. He’s a lot more animated this way, going on and on about the origins and lore of his favorites while laughing at the ones that remind him of his teammates.

He’s also the early to bed early to rise type of guy, so once the clock hits 11 PM at the latest, he urges you to get ready for bed. If you whine a little bit, he’ll let you stay up for another few minutes, but the two of you are definitely cuddled under the sheets by 11:30. He’s guilty of having his own late nights or even all-nighters, but he won’t let that happen to you when he’s around. Anything less than eight hours of sleep is a failure on Iwaizumi’s part, and he will not let that happen.

He’s absolutely soft for goodnight kisses and will return them back tenfold. When he thinks that you’ve fallen asleep, he takes it as his opportunity to murmur something about how grateful he is to have you and how he’s the luckiest person in the entire world before closing his eyes himself. He’s definitely up first the next morning just watching your peaceful sleeping figure and thinking about how he wants to do this whole sleepover thing every day. Whether you choose to tease him or not is up to you, but he’ll definitely go beet-red if you do.

hanamaki takahiro

He’ll treat a rainy day in like any lazy day at home except with the added bonus that is you. The only down side is that he can’t really go out and buy sweets, so instead, he makes them at home with you. Hanamaki doesn’t really care all that much if they turn out well or not considering that he’s mostly there to tease you a little bit by putting dough or whipped cream on your face when you’re least expecting it. He may be quiet, but that doesn’t make him not a gremlin.

In fact, he prefers if the entire process is chaotic from start to finish so that he can tease you about about how awful the baked goods will turn out. Argue back that things will be okay, and he’ll be ten times more pessimistic. It’s only to make fun of you though. He’d eat anything you made for or with him, and no matter how charred your cookies come our or how much he wonders if he’ll get sent to the ER for consuming non-edible substances, he’ll find a way to choke them all down.

When the two of you are done with baking, it’s an absolute chore to get him to clean up with you. He’ll put up a tough front as you tug and shake at him to get off the couch, but he’s really just putting an act on since he finds it endearing when you’re being pussy and trying to order him around. He’d never leave you alone to clean up his messes, but he sure does work hard at making you believe that. 

He’s not much of a stickler in terms of eating, so take-out is his first pick when it comes to what to do for meals. He’s already cleaned up once and would prefer not to do it again, especially since he’s not that confident in cooking himself and would hate for you to do it alone. It’s just easier for Hanamaki to scroll through a menu with you and wait with you cuddling into his side for the delivery to arrive. 

Hanamaki will never instigate bad ideas, but he’ll never turn them down either, so if you ask him to stay up all night with you because you just can’t sleep with the thunder, he won’t say no. In fact, he’s the one who pulls you to bed just to scroll through Twitter or Instagram with him. He’ll comment once every few posts about how certain videos remind him of you, but he won’t elaborate on why. It’s left ambiguous enough for you to wonder if you’re being insulted, but he’ll clarify later that they were meant as compliments while kissing you all over.

matsukawa issei

Matsukawa’s the only one out of the four to suggest going outside during the rain. It’s not that he particularly likes it, but what he does enjoy is sharing an umbrella with you only to take it away from right over your head so that you get soaked. He does this all while grinning, even when you take the umbrella right out of his hands to splash him with water. It’s not hard to get back at him since he’s not trying very hard to resist.

It’s all part of his master plan to get you in the bathtub with him, and right when you two get back home, he immediately starts running a bath, mumbling something about how he doesn’t want you to catch a cold and that you should get warmed up right away. 

He doesn’t have fancy candles or soaps, but it’s still enjoyable, especially when he offers to help you wash your hair and scrub your back. You want to stay in the tub for a longer time, but Matsukawa hates pruning and drags you back out right when you’ve begun to melt in his arms. You definitely grumble about it, but it only makes him laugh.

He doesn’t seem like it, but he’s actually deathly afraid that you’ll get sick from his little scheme. Regardless of your hair length, he’ll motion you over so that he can dry your hair for you. He tells himself that it’s to ensure that you don’t catch a cold, but he also likes the feeling of his fingers slipping through your locks. He isn’t expecting you to return his favor, but if you do offer to dry his hair for him, he’s over the moon.

Like Hanamaki and Oikawa, Matsukawa isn’t opposed to all-nighters either. In his mind, it’s more bang for his buck since he can spend a longer time talking and joking around with you; however, unlike Hanamaki, he does instigate bad ideas.

It’s 1 AM, and in the middle of playing video games with you, he hears you mention something about wanting coffee. Suddenly, he’s all over his phone, searching for the nearest Starbucks to order from and making sure that there’s extra whipped cream on both of your drinks. The sugar gets him extra giddy. Sure, he’s been laughing all day because of you, but he’ll laugh even louder during the sugar rush.

And when the two of you crash on the floor in his living room? He does his best to make sure that you’re comfortable and positioned nicely against his body before dozing off himself.

[thevindicativevordan]

My Superfamily Set-Up

By and large I’m fairly happy with the upcoming Infinite Frontier status quo for the Superfamily. Granted that’s in part because I’m still convinced Kara will get an ongoing or mini in 2021, probably to coincide with her show returning, and PKJ hinted at plans for Steel on Twitter. But Kon has escaped the Titans dumpsterfire for a little while, and I’ve heard good things about Thompson as a writer as well. Kenan is popping back up in a one shot written by Yang that will hopefully herald more appearances in Batman/Superman. Jon is still co-protagonist with Clark in the main books, Tanya is in the Future State Shazam book and also a candidate for the FS Justice League book, so hopefully she’ll be in Titans Academy, and Lois is poised to be a big player in the upcoming Checkmate mini by Bendis. So fingers crossed, all the core members of the Superfamily will be in stuff come end of 2021.

Now that said, were DC to suddenly realize that I alone can save Superman, and asked me what kind of status quo I would like (whether for a mainline or Elseworld book makes no difference to me), this is the basic set up that I would go with:

Superman - I’d do a traditional status quo. Superman is disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter, married to Lois Lane, etc. I’d have Ma and Pa go back to being dead since I still am not a fan of them being alive. Note that this isn’t a reaction against Bendis, I loved Bendis’ run, but I do want to play with the traditional status quo a little bit before diving into something different. Especially since so many Superman writers have traditionally completely wasted the potential of Superman’s status quo.

Lois Lane - Similar to Superman I’d go with a more traditional status quo at the start. She works at the Daily Planet, she and Clark are married, she’s the best reporter in town, etc. I would eventually have her take over as editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet from Perry, I thought that was a great idea the New 52 wasted, and I love the idea of her and Cat Grant being rivals with the Daily Planet and Catco competing. 

Jon Kent - I’d restore kid Jon and toss him back to the Super Sons, not because I think what’s been done with him has been bad, but mostly because I don’t want to write him as Superman, I want to write Clark. Jon seems to be being set up to be co-Superman, and I just don’t have any interest in writing that. To restore kid Jon without destroying Bendis’ run which I enjoyed, I’d explain that teen Jon is actually the “evil” Jon we saw from the Super Sons of Tomorrow future. He went back in time and rescued his kid self from Earth 3, and explained to him that he wanted to prevent that future from coming to pass, but that he needed to take his younger self’s place to do so. Kid Jon agreed, after all he was terrified of becoming evil in both Tomasi’s Super Sons of Tomorrow and Bendis The Man of Steel, and has basically been in hiding watching the events and also studying Hypertime so he can learn how to avoid ending up evil. 

Clark and Lois would blow up at the Jons for the lie when Teen Jon judges he’s changed things enough for his kid self to return, but both Jons could point out that both Clark and Lois have kept secrets when they deemed it necessary from each other and Jon. That would be a neat conversation to have, and a way to continue the untraditional family dynamic that Bendis set up. You could keep teen Jon as a time anomaly until Hypertime catches up with him and restores him to his timeline, with him continuing to be Superman as penance, while kid Jon goes and pals around with Damian in Williamson’s Robin or whatever.

Superwoman/Kara Zor-El - I like the idea of Kara “graduating” to the Superwoman name. It’s open right now given Lana’s retirement, and I think it would suit Kara. I would keep Kara in National, it’s her own little corner to play in, but I would keep that development from (I believe it was) Andrea Shea, where Kara gets fired from Catco because she’s a terrible intern due to always running off to be a heroine. She and Kal talk, Kara admits she doesn’t really want to be a journalist, and so she goes and interns at STAR Labs. I hate how DC keeps turning all the members of the Superfamily into Clark clones. It’s goddamn stupid and I want them to please STOP. Why the hell would Kara want to go into journalism anyway? We’ve never even seen a damn journalist on Krypton! It’s a stupid thing they did on the TV show because they wanted to swipe Clark’s stuff. Let Kara be the scientist of the Els, the one who carries on the family tradition. What form that takes is something I’m open too, I liked Venditti making her interested in history in his annual, maybe make Kara an anthropologist? That would be hilarious. 

Also give Lena to Supergirl, they can be best friends, enemies, lovers, I don’t care. But Lena is wasting away in a vault under Lexcorp last we saw, and that’s a damn shame considering how popular CW Lena is. I’d also add Natasha Irons (who I’d rename Mastersmith) and Tanya Spears (Powerhouse) to Supergirl’s supporting cast, they could play off each other as three supergenuis women).

Kon-El/Conner Kent/Scion - I’m really excited to see what Thompson is going to do with Kon on the Suicide Squad, but here’s what I would do with him. Kon would finally be able to shake off the Superboy moniker and leave that to Jon. Instead he’d take the name “Scion” as a reflection of his origins, and a tie-in to his new status quo. In the wake of Death Metal, Lex Luthor would abruptly step down as head of Lexcorp, stating that he needs time to redefine himself in the wake of his latest attempt to justify himself as the true hero by serving Perpetua, ending up with him needing Superman to save the day again. While he is away, he’s turned over complete control of Lexcorp to his sole heir: Conner. Conner is now head of one of the evilest megacorps in existence, and is one of the wealthiest men alive. Conner knows this is just another maneuver by Lex in his neverending crusade against Superman, but he’s determined to not just be another pawn. He accepts control, renames Lexcorp Superman, Inc. His mission will be to transform the megacorp into the force for good it pretends to be. Conner will have to take on not only Lex loyalists and traitorous underlings who would love to be CEO themselves within Lexcorp, but new megacorps who have flocked to Metropolis in hope of establishing themselves, now that the former Master of Metropolis has abdicated his throne. Threats within and threats without, but armed with the powers/morals of Superman and the charm/brains of Lex Luthor, Kon is just cocky enough to think he can handle it.

John Henry Irons/Steel - It will be a big year for John Henry Irons. His private company Steelworks is about to go public and make him a billionaire. Lana Lang has accepted his marriage proposal and they’re due to be wed. His niece Natasha has left the nest and is off working at STAR Labs. Irons is posed to finally resurrect the decrepit Suicide Slum and allow it to catch up to the rest of the City of Tomorrow. However there are problems: new megacorps are moving into the city in the wake of Lex Luthor leaving, people are disappearing from Suicide Slum with dark rumors are spreading about the reasons why, and the people of Suicide Slum are accusing Irons of planning to gentrify the borough. Making matters worse, weapons that Irons designed as a young man are appearing on the streets of Metropolis, attracting negative attention from the media and putting Steelworks at risk. Irons is going to have to suit up and take up the fight all over Metropolis, from the darkest levels of the Undercity, to the bright deceptive board rooms at the top of skyscrapers in the city’s heart. Irons will have to reckon with his past to secure his future, and confront the evil Metropolis would rather pretend doesn’t exist.

Kenan Kong/New Super-Man - Look just give Yang a damn Kenan book and let him go wild. Right now is either the best or worst time to give Kenan a book given the situation with Hong Kong, but if anyone is equipped to deal with it, it’s Yang. I’ll just add that I would love to see Kenan on a Global Guardians team, but I’d also love to see Justice League of China as a spinoff book of the main Justice League. Kenan is as close as DC has come to their own Spider-Man/Invincible take on Superman, Jon sadly hasn’t really differentiated himself from his dad while Kenan is VERY different. I would love to see Kenan pushed more and would buy a new book in a heartbeat. Also put out a damn New Super-Man omnibus Jim Lee, for God’s sake can’t you abuse your power to push the character you wanted created and is actually good unlike most of Wildstorm? You’re shoving Grifter back into everything but not Kenan? Christ.

So yeah that’s the Superfamily status quo I’d establish. Keeping my Clark and Lois ideas close to my chest for now, but I might go into more detail later.

[bellamyblake]

so I saw some posts in the bellarke tag (from a few bellarke) saying how season 6 bellarke was terrible and that Bellamy was out of character and would never do the things he did for Clarke that season.. and that he was bland, and the cpr scene could’ve been any sappy couple, but like ?? I loved season 6, and I thought Bellamy was in character (as opposed to season 5 where they barely interacted and had any big emotional talks after 6 years of thinking she’s dead and ugh s5 to me felt the least like them) i mean to me him doing anything for her seems like something Bellamy would do? Look at the all past seasons and all the sacrifices and thing he did for her and how protective he was over her for any little thing! I feel like Bellamy leaving everyone to save clarke would be something that would happen? And him basically in tears trying to save her as she’s dying in front of him pleading that he needs her seems in character and something they would do and it felt special and sweet to me :/ how was Bellamy bland for doing the most he can to save someone he loves?? Idk, s6 was one of my favorites for how actually romantic it was and it bums me out hearing some bellarkes hating it. How do you feel about it? Do most of the fandom think it’s ooc and Bellamy’s bland?

I think the most important fact to begin with here would be that you gotta understand something that was also a little hard for me to understand at first but that I learned fast when I got into the fandom and that is that-

Nobody judges Bellamy Blake more than his own fandom.

Literally.

I’m even gonna be as brave as to say that the pinapples might not even know what to put on his shoulders besides season 3 to blame him for every mistake but we can. We absolutely can say the worst things about him and call him anything.

You know back when I got in the fandom that was season 3 and that was the WORST time to join but haha, silly cute lil me, I knew of so many blogs and Bellamy and Bellarke fans who HATED Bellamy and refused to understand his actions which yes though questionable, were at least supposed to be put under the microscope and understood.

I knew people who hated season 2 Bellamy too which was such a surprise to me, those were mostly original season 1 fans who said that he was *too  herioc* in season 2 and it *doesn’t fit his character*.

So after that, like season 3 and everything (and after Bob explained how much was missed on and not told and the better part of the season which made some fans show some mercy towards his character), I decided myself that I’ll always step back, think over everything that happens to him with as clear of a head as I can and decide for myself. 

I kept doing it to the end which is also why I am the only one in the fandom who didn’t call him ooc in s7. But THAT is another subject.

I think what I mean here is that nobody and I believe that wholeheartedly is more rude or more brutal to Bellamy Blake than we are. I often felt like we as a fandom hated him more than any anti can and it broke my heart. Most of all what broke my heart was the blatant refusal to understand him or his actions.

I think after season 1 people just had this image of the bad boy rebel king with soft heart who lets Clarke and the 100 in and that was it and that still sells most to these days in fics and amongst the fandom. 

That’s literally where they stopped and they refused to add anything else to his multilayered character in their heads.

ANYWAY-

You asked about season 6 and I LOVE season 6 despite most bellarkers not being fans of it. I think here it comes again a lot to fandom and how the said old gen bellarkers refused to like season 6 bellarke because apparently it wasn’t written as well, the dialogue was bad, they kept recycling stuff, I’ve seen this over and over and over again but for me, personally season 6 was a whole ass trip from beginning to end that is just that-

a love story.

His love story to Clarke.

I think through it he manages to achieve in his heart what he never got to do for her in season 4 and season 5. I have had a few friends at the time who thankfully felt the same way and we discussed the fact that-

season six is filled with all the romantic tropes that we as bellarke writers (and old gen bellarke) KEEP WRITING but complain that we never actually had

WHICH WE DO????

but somehow it is not good enough for them. 

So to answer your quesiton, no, not all people in the fandom thought it was bad, but I feel like again as before with just bellamy and season 3 there was this PUSH as if on purpose, to hate this, to condemn it, to call it *not the same*. I understand what they say that yes they are not entirely the same people and here comes my next point-

THEY ARE NOT!

and newsflash-

THAT IS FINE.

I think a majority of the people refused to accept the fact that they grow as characters and they have layers added to them just as the story grew and went from one planet to another. I think not everyone can accept that and that is fine, I have no problem with that I just wish it wasn’t just so blatantly hated.

I personally think that the CPR scene is where they PEAKED in all aspects. THIS is the most they’ve been truly romantic I believe that and that it is actually expressed in the DESPERATION with which he saves her and her waking up and throwing herself in his arms. Also let’s not forget his lips touching hers which for us is like basically sex.

And after that scene came out I saw a lot of hate and I was so surprised, mainly on twitter from old bellarkers, fic writers who said LOL what a dumb scene, haha he can’t do CPR right and i was like WHAT-

WHAT-

WHAT-

COME AGAIN?

You were okay when she peckered his cheek for 0,02 secs and left him all the fuck alone in season 2 to deal with EVERYTHING and the kids but this is-

BAD FOR YOU?

HIm reccassitating her and begging her and crying and his own effing sister seeing his break down and then managing to get to her, to make her to pull through and her coming back and throwing herself in his arms IS BAD?

I mean I literally died there and it is still my favorite moment.

I know nobody would agree with this but I still think this is the best one. The hugs were great but at some point how many hugs can you have?

This was more. This was so much more and I loved it.

I think also there is something else when people call some scenes blind and that is that Bob was in a lot of pain filming that because of his injury. He literally couldn’t walk and had to redo some scenes from the beginning of the season back in the end when he was a little bit better so it is clear that it is very hard for him to do this but he still does his best imo and by the time the CPR scene comes he clearly is much better and it shows in his acting too (which is also why i personally love his acting in s7 it shows so much how when an actor takes care of themselves, takes a step back, recovers and comes back he literally crushes it but AGAIN i am a lone wolf in that aspect)

Anyway, here is my advice:

1.Stay out of the tags;

2. Find people who you enjoy seeing on your dash to follow and who do fit your interests in terms of the show.

3.Don’t read ppl’s opinions, frankly, don’t listen to anyone, not even me in that ask if it doesn’t sit right with you. Instead find your own thoughts and emotions. 

When I first got in the fandom there was so much meta and meta blogs and you dk the hate I saw in our fandom when it came to bellamy or the wrong discorse about his actions so I just unfollowed them all and did my own thinking. 

That’s what i advise you to do!

Thank you for your question, sorry for the length!

[queerbutstillhere]

Addressing the Batman Conspiracy theories, on the Wayne Family true crime podcast.

(this is based off of my post. I just had fun with this, and yes it's very chaotic. I hope it makes sense!)

"Welcome, listeners, to this months episode of the Wayne Family Circus-"

"That is NOT what it is called and you know it!"

"Okay okay! Shut up Tim!"

There was a hard cut in the audio. You, the listener, smile and put your car into reverse, backing out of your parking spot, you had a long drive to get home, and hopefully this new podcast will entertain you.

"As I was saying! Welcome to episode seven of Crime In Our Midst - I still hate that name - today we are discussing our most requested case. The Mysterious Batman. We will be discussing where he came from, and conspiracy theories involving him," the voice said, ending with a hum. "Today, I am your host, and for anyone who doesn't know, I'm Dick Grayson, the eldest Wayne child. To my left is our illustrious father, and number one theory for today, Bruce Wayne."

"Dick, I told you I didn't want-" a new, deeper male voice started.

"Next to him is Jason, the second eldest and the wildcard of the family."

"Sup bi*****," was the voice response.

"Master Jason," an older accented voice inputted.

"Sorry Alfie."

"Then we have Cassandra Cain-Wayne."

"Hello!" A chipper female voice said.

"They can't see you wave, Cass."

"Oh, sorry."

"Tim Drake is also present, as always. Tim have you ever missed an episode?"

"No," a softer male voice said with a hum.

"Even Damian has missed."

"Tt, that is because I have a life, unlike Drake."

"I am literally a CEO-"

"And just then you heard Damian Wayne, our youngest and saltiest member. Say Hi, Damian."

"Salutations," a younger sounding, yet still accented voice said.

"So formal," the host, Dick, said with a laugh. "And always, we are moderated by our Butler and Grandfather, Alfred Pennyworth!"

"Hello, listeners."

"And this week, we are joined by special guest, Barbara Gordon, daughter of Ex-Commissioner, Jim Gordon. He's not here in person, because he said, and I quote, 'This is bs and there's no amount of money you could pay me to be on your weird podcast'. To which I would like to counter, Jim, we most likely could pay that amount of money-"

"Grayson, you're rambling again," Damian said, sounding annoyed.

"Why did Dick get to host this episode?" Jason asked.

"Because it's Bruce didn't want to, so it was my turn next, shut up Jason."

"Come at me!"

There was another hard cut and a few seconds of pause. You chuckled, already enjoying this pointless bickering.

"So. We're going to start at the beginning. Batman, the masked vigilante who guards Gotham and battles crime, appeared way back when in the 2000's. He was considered a criminal for a long time, mostly due to his method of fear and violence, despite that he never killed, and solved countless cold cases - much like we do, if I might add -" Dick started explaining, paper could be heard rustling.

"Yeah but we don't dress up in spandex and go out every night and punch people, Dick."

"Okay, obviously, Jason."

There was muffled sniggering and then a grunt as someone got hit.

"Boys, calm down and let your brother finish explaining."

"Thank you, Bruce!" Dick exclaimed, there was the beginning of a yell and then another audio cut.

"Batman eventually became a founding member of the Justice League of America, alongside heroes such as Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Green Lantern and the Flash. It was around this time his protege, Robin, joined his side for the first time. Batman would eventually become the hero of our city, stopping criminals such as the Joker, Bane, Harley Quinn, the Riddler, and Poison Ivy, whom we all Stan," Dick's smooth voice continued.

"Dick," Bruce warned.

"Continuing! It is believed that Batman has had five or six different Robin's over the years, including two female ones, though neither were Robin for very long. The Batman has become a international, and even interstellar hero, working with the Green Lantern Corp on many occasions. I don't think I need to go into further detail, as almost everyone knows who the Batman is. Now let's get into theories!"

"Oh, finally," Tim said, followed by a muffled yawn.

"Shush, Drake. Let Grayson finish talking."

"Now most the theories are about Batman's secret identity or where he came from, right? And obviously the number one theory is that Bruce Wayne, our dear daddy here, is Batman."

"Do not ever say those words again," Jason groaned out.

"I most likely will."

"Can we all just agree this theory is absolute bulls***?"

"Damian!"

"I am speaking the truth father. I live with you, I can confidentially say you do not spend your nights running around Gotham unless it is in a sports car with some annoying woman-"

"Master Damian."

"My apologies Alfred."

"Can I give the evidence?!" Dick exclaimed.

There was mocking noises, and yet ANOTHER hard audio cut.

"So the main source of evidence is that Bruce Wayne and Batman have never been seen together. Which isn't true, because I have seen, and there is photographic evidence of such, which of course, you can find on our website!"

"The second evidence is something about them having the same a**, which I would rather not go into because of obvious reasons. Third, is all of us kids, somebody on Reddit mapped out all of our arrivals with in a years time of the Robin's arrival, and they think that we are the Robin's."

"Implausible. Have you seen Drake? He couldn't be a Robin, he'd snap right in half. And the second Robin died in an explosions, wouldn't that be Jason?" Damian countered.

"There actually was a kid Bruce fostered for a bit named Jason that actually died in an accident," Dick explained. "People think that Jason is the Robin."

"So we're not going to discuss the fact that you had another kid named Jason?"

"Jason, we've already discussed this a million times, I did not bring you into the family because of your name-"

"Can I continue?!"

"Please," A female voice piped in, Cass.

"Okay, the rest of the evidence is just kinda, fishy, I guess? Someone reports having heard Bruce actively state he was Batman as an excuse to not be on a jury duty, but let's be honest, who hasn't? Lastly is that Bruce Wayne disappears a lot around the time big things are happening, which is quote 'awfully coincidentally.' but circumstantial. An example of this is about five years back, Batman and Bruce Wayne both disappeared for a week, and then when Batman came back, he was reportedly 'different, more cheerful, and more charming. Less threatening', while Bruce Wayne remainder missing. Nearly a year later, Bruce Wayne returned, and Batman once again became gruff and intimidating. Shall we discuss this theory?"

"I don't see what we need to discuss," Damian grumbled.

"It's really not good evidence, but it is a good theory," Tim chipped in.

Jason spoke next. "I haven't been here for long, so it seems plausible to me."

"Jason!"

"What?!"

More bickering. Audio cut. This is getting a little weird with all the audio cuts.

"I think we can all agree that Bruce is not Batman," Cass said finally.

"Dad thinks the Bruce Wayne theory is dumb, and he's been working with Batman since year two. They're nothing alike. He suspected Bruce for a few years, but started seeing them in the same room and area and finally had to drop the theory," another female voice spoke, sounding bored.

"See? So, not plausible, moving on," Damian said dismissively.

The next theory was about some random middle aged man, the whole team thought this one wasn't terribly plausible either.

The third theory was that Batman was some type of alien, and this caused a lot of loud bickering and arguing.

The final theory was that Batman was a vampire, and all the kids seemed to like this theory, while Bruce was less then amused.

"Okay, Bruce, who do you think the Batman is?" Jason asked the second Dick closed out his presentation.

"I think he's a hero who protects the city and the planet, and had saved my life, and the lives of those closest too me, many times. If he wishes to keep his identity secret, then we should respect that the same way we respect Superman and Wonder Woman."

"Boooooo!" Jason and Tim yelled.

"Come on, Bruce. Really, give us an answer."

"Okay, I can't because I do actually know who it is," Bruce admitted.

"WHAT?" Tim screeched.

"You know who the Batman is and never told us?!" Dick exclaimed.

"Did you really miss his speech just now?" Damian asked with a huff. "He obviously wants to protect The Batman."

"You won't tell us?" Cass asked.

"Nope."

More bickering over this for a moment.

"Okay, how many agree with Vampire theory?" Dick asked.

There was a pause in the audio.

"Okay that's four. Any takers on alien theory? . . . No hands. Smith theory? And that's one. Jason and Damian, do you want to elaborate?"

"I still vote for Bruce Wayne theory," Jason said with a sigh.

"OH MY GOD-"

"OW! BRUCE HE PUNCHED ME!"

"BOYS!"

There was muffled speaking and sounds of hitting.

"Damian?"

"I don't like any of the theories."

"Do you have your own then?"

"Not particularly, but I suppose if I would have to give one. . . I believe the Batman is just some random guy with some behavioral and mental issues, and decided that the best way to combat crime, instead of becoming a police detective, was to put on spandex and Kevlar and a bat mask and theme everything after bats."

Dick chuckled. "Well there you have it folks. We finally tackled the Batman conspiracy, now could you please stop flooding our social medias with requests for it? Take that as you may, but obviously, as Bruce said, even if some of our members may know the identity of the Batman, we will not disclose that information, because it's not ours to give away. It's his choice and his privacy, so do not ask us who he is. We will not tell. Guys, anything to say?"

"I'm tired-"

"Tim you're always tired!"

"Ookaaaay! Anyway, next month is Bruce's turn, since we switched, and as always, we'll be putting up a poll on Twitter to see what case you want us to discuss! Until next time, this is the Wayne family signing off!"

"Goodbye."

"Peace out."

"Farwell."

"Death is inevitable."

"Time is a social construct."

"Children- Thank you for listening!"

"Please free me from this hell-"

"And in all the other ways to say it, Goodbye, and Goodnight!"

And you, dear listener, were left to listen to dead silence for a few minutes until you reached your destination, thoroughly confused, and mildly unsettled.

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 2

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

Originally posted on my Ao3 Crystallclover. If you missed Chapter 1, Click Here

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Chapter 2: An Arrival to be Remembered

UFO has been sited entering the Earth’s atmosphere

Unknown armed and masked being exit ship heading towards the White House, is the President in danger?

Aliens spotted in D.C.

You woke up to the sound of your alarm, and got out of bed. You have been in the habit lately to start your day without checking your phone first. Mostly to avoid early morning emails from your boss before you have even had coffee.

You head to the bathroom relieve yourself, wash your face, and brush your hair. Exiting the bathroom you head to the kitchen and make yourself some breakfast and coffee. You enjoy the sunrise through the large windows in your apartment. Finishing eating you immediately wash your few dishes and get ready for work. You pick out your work ‘uniform’ of a black blouse and black trousers. You head to the bathroom to brush your teeth, put on a little makeup and get changed.

Heading back to the kitchen you prepare a to-go cup of coffee and pull out your lunch for work. Finally, you check your phone.

First, you see an email from your boss reminding you for the 10th time about the morning meeting that you have every Thursday. It isn’t like you to forget something you do every single week for the past year. Never once have you been late, in fact, he was always the one to forget. You wonder if these emails were meant more for him and less for you. But he was always the micromanager.

Next, you check your texts. Your usual morning photo from one of your siblings about one of your nieces/nephews. Another one from Hayden asking if you were still on for tomorrow night’s weekly bar trip. You answered ‘Yes 😀 .’ Another from Carter asking what you think of the news headlines this morning. Odd, although this isn’t the first time you two had discussed something like this it was odd to receive a text like this from them first thing in the morning.

You open Twitter to see #alieninvasiondc trending. You scroll through the news tag. Every major news site around the world is talking about the shuttlecraft that landed on the White House lawn last night, and the armed and armored soldiers that departed from the craft. All of the soldiers wore white armor, except one in silver. There was one who was in all black and a red-haired human-looking man among the group. Not much is known other than they haven’t been seen leaving the White House.

You text Carter back ‘Just looked now, either this is a hoax or the world as we know it is coming to an end. I’ll see you at work.’

You packed your work bag, grabbed your car keys and set off to work. You park in the ramp attached to your building and walk to the elevator. You wave at the security attendant to the opposing skywalk like you do every morning. You arrive at your floor and buzz-in. You say hi to Nancy in reception and head to your desk.

Strangely all of the televisions in the office were muted and tuned into CBC News, normally the one in the break room and the ones in reception were on, the others only really got used during Hockey Games or events like the Olympics. Your boss was in the walkway with his attention turned to his phone.

You set down your things at your desk and boot up your work computer while setting up your laptop on its stand. You did your usual check through work emails until the 9:00 AM weekly meeting. Your boss hasn’t moved from his position in the walkway.

8:55 AM hits and you grab what you need and head to the conference room. The tv was on in here as well. The others in the Marketing department filled in after you. Your boss, Scott, had yet to move from his place in the walkway. 9:00 AM hits and you continue small talk with your co-workers, most of the conversation is directed at the events in D.C.

9:05 AM your co-worker Ally sends a Slack message to your boss. He looks up from his phone to the clock on the wall and runs into his office. After a few minutes, he rushes out and into the conference room.

“Sorry, I am late everyone the Wife is just paranoid over this Alien Invasion thing. I can’t get her to stop texting me,” he chuckles.

Ironically this isn’t the first time he has been ‘late’ to a meeting after being on the phone with his wife an hour after work already started.

Suddenly you all get an Emergency Alert System notification on all of your phones.

‘International Emergency: Please tune in to your local news broadcasting station to receive an Emergency Report.’

Scott asks, “where is the damn remote?”

Ally hands it to him, he unmutes the tv.

The headline reads: ‘President of the United States has an Important International Government Update’

Live from Washington D.C.

On the screen, it shows the President of the United States, with the silver soldier, one in all black and the red-haired man from the video of the invasion last night.

“I have an important announcement. Earth has been contacted by people from space who call themselves the First Order. The First Order has informed me that they would like to peacefully work with Earth. As long as we fully cooperate as an entire planet no harm will come to any of us. Currently, our galaxy is at war, and the First Order seeks our help, in return of offering Earth protection from a group of people called the New Republic.

They have explained to me and the U.N. as a whole that the New Republic is not to be trusted along with their mercenary army called the Resistance. It is through my decision and the decision of the U.N. that we will cooperate and join forces with the First Order to be under their protection.

All citizens of Earth in the next 7 days must register with the First Order. You will be given a citizen number, some citizens may be reassigned to work directly with the First Order. All military personal will be reassigned to be under the First Order. You should not worry as most citizens will be unaffected, life will go on as normal. As long as citizens follow these orders and any orders to come, we shall be safe,” said the President. The President moved out of the way for the man in all black and with a black mask to move to the podium.

“I am the Supreme Leader of the First Order. I promise no harm will come to those who cooperate with us. We seek to peacefully transition your planet, as you know it Earth, to a primary First Order Planet. We value honesty and loyalty, along with hard work. We strive to rebuild the Empire and to maintain order in the galaxy. That is all,” The man's voice was distorted through the mask he was wear, it sounded mechanical or digital but it had a deep sound.

The broadcast cut back to the news anchor. “Currently all citizens of earth are to report to their a local city government building or town hall within the next 7 days for First Order registration and possible reassignment. All citizens must remain calm and do as the government has directed. Any questions or concerns will be answered by local government officials and First Order personnel. All foreign citizens to Canada will follow the same protocol as citizens. All citizens are asked to bring various forms of identification, such as a Passport, driver's license, birth certificate, social insurance number card, any immunization forms, military I.D. and more. You can find a full list of required documents at the CBC website or at canada.ca. As a reminder, all citizens are urged to stay calm and to follow all orders regarding and following First Order registration. Citizens are also advised to stay tuned to local news sources for any updates.”

The conference room sat stunned at the announcement.

“Well were f*****,” said Scott. “We are all surely f*****. Who are these people to think they can just take over like that? Do they think we are just going to sit by and let them brainwash us? Let them take everything from us?”

“I don’t think we have a choice, you heard the U.S. President, the U.N. is in agreement. This is for our own safety. If you are going to go against them and get yourself killed keep us out of it,” said Daniel one of your marketing co-workers.

“I’ll talk to Henry, and see if we can all take the week off, who knows this may be the last time we even get to see our families,” and with that statement, Scott left the conference room.

You sat there not really moving, processing what you just witnessed on the tv and the confrontation between Scott and Daniel. So did the rest of your co-workers. You could tell they were all in shock, the world as you knew it was about to change, the future had shifted.

All of your phones went off again. This time it was an email from Jonathan the CEO.

‘All employees will take today, tomorrow and next week off, in order to give proper attention to the government mandate. Please be safe and I hope to see you all come -Henry G. Wells’

Everyone in the conference room got up and went to their desks. The office was silent, except for the sounds of items being put away and people gathering their things. You were almost done getting ready to go when Carter appeared next to you.

They didn’t speak, for fear of being the first one to break the ominous silence. Carter just looked at you expectantly. You finished packing up and walked with them out of the office. The elevator was packed but silent. Everyone got off and walked to their cars. Carter followed you to yours.

Keeping their voice down, almost to a whisper, they asked, “I know I texted you this morning about all this but what do you think now? Do you want to go back to your place or mine?”

You thought about it for a moment before responding, “let’s go back to mine. We can discuss it from there.”

Carter accepted your response and went to their car to leave. You followed suit. Today was not what you expected.

Tags: @sheadre 

[thebluenoteblog]

Just Trust Me

Summary: Things have been going well in your relationship. You and Tyler are happy, it seems as though nothing could ruin it. That is until your best friend sends you a picture of him that changes everything.

Player: Tyler Seguin

Word Count: 1.7k

*This is the first time I've written anything for Tyler Seguin so I’m sorry if it isn’t very good.*

It was a typical warm Dallas night and you were laying on your couch with a good book and a glass of wine when your phone buzzed. You smiled, closing the book and hoping that it was Tyler. You’d been dating for six months now and things were going better than you could have hoped. He always found time to talk to you before bed when he was away, so it wasn’t a stretch. You set your book and half empty wine glass down on the end table and reached for your phone.

But it wasn’t Tyler’s name that showed up on your screen. It was a picture from your best friend.

You suppressed the disappointment and unlocked the screen, pulling up the message. It was a screenshot from twitter. Your blood ran cold. You thought your heart may have stopped beating for a second, but surely that couldn’t be true.

The picture was taken in a bar, you assumed in Vegas as that was where the Stars were at the moment, and Tyler was sitting in a chair with some girl perched in his lap with her arms around his neck. You saw red. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to yell every obscenity your mind could muster at him, or never speak to him again.

So, in that moment you typed back a quick message to your friend, a thank you for the information, and then turned your phone off. He could fuck right off if he thought you were going to talk to him before you were ready.

You changed into your pajamas and crawled into bed. You didn’t cry. You stared blankly at the ceiling until the sun came up and it was time to get up and get ready for work.

****

“Are you okay? You haven’t answered your phone since yesterday?”

You glanced at your best friend around the door, like you were making sure Tyler wasn’t hiding in the hallway of your apartment building. That was a ridiculous thought because he was playing a game in LA that night, but it never hurt to check. “I have my phone turned off.”

“Why don’t you just block him?” She asked as you stepped aside and let her into your apartment. Why didn’t you? Because you couldn’t convince yourself that it was over. Even knowing that he had probably cheated on you, it still hurt to think that he would never use his key to walk through the door to your apartment again.

“To final I guess,” You said quietly, closing the front door, flipping the lock and latching it for good measure.

****

You left your phone off for the rest of his road trip. For a whole week you ignored any form of contact with anyone who attempted to talk to you outside of work. Your best friend came over to check on you almost every night. You would eat crappy take out and avoid any mention of Tyler or hockey. After she left you would lay down in bed and pick something in your room to stare at until you finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning.

It was 2:00 am a week after you’d seen the picture and you were staring blankly at streetlights shining through the curtains when the knocking started. You made the firm decision to ignore it, because there were only two options for who would be knocking on your door at two o’clock in the morning: someone planning to murder you, or Tyler. Neither of which you were in the mood to strike up a conversation with.

After a minute, the knocking turned into banging and being a small apartment, there was no way to tune it out. “(Y/N), open the door! I know you’re home!” So, it was Tyler. You didn’t know if you were relieved or not. The picture flashed through your mind again and you were tempted to keep ignoring him. He clearly wasn’t going to let that fly and if Tyler was one thing, it was determined. “I’m not going away until you let me in!”

He was yelling. You had neighbors. It was after 2:00 am. You were probably going to be getting a call from your landlord in the morning. So, you threw off the covers and made your way to the door, threw it open and said harshly without giving yourself a chance to fully take him in and lose your nerve, “What do you want?”

He looked like a mess. His hair was a mess as though he’d been running his hands through it. His beard was longer than usual. His whole body was tense. He relaxed a bit as soon as you opened the door but tensed up again at your harsh words. “To find out why you fell off the face of the planet?” He responded, attempting to push his way into your apartment.

You stepped into his way, blocking his path. He froze and focused his hurt eyes on you. “Tyler, I don’t want to do this right now. It’s late. I’m tired. Come back when it isn’t the middle of the night.” You attempted to close the door, but he shoved his hand in the way, catching it before it could latch and pushing it open again.

“Bullshit, (Y/N). You don’t get to do that.” He said, using his much larger body to push past you and into the apartment. You huffed in annoyance but closed the door behind him. “You don’t get to send my calls straight to voicemail for a whole week and then tell me to come back later when I come to find out why.”

You crossed your arms, because well, you did get to do that. He was in the wrong. He was the one with another girl sitting in his lap. But you didn’t say that, you just stared at him. He knew what he did and the innocent, hurt act was the worst part.

“Damn it, (Y/N), say something! If this is you breaking up with me, you at least have to tell me why!” He was pacing around your living room now, practically burning a hole in your floor.

Finally, you couldn’t bite your tongue anymore. “I think you know why, Tyler!” You snapped. Leaning forward into his face when he turned toward you.

He startled backward at the force of your anger. “What are you talking about?” He asked, “What did I do?”

To say he looked confused would be an understatement. He looked like a sailor lost at sea in the middle of a storm. You however, were not confused. You knew exactly where you were going with this argument. “I’m talking about the girl, Tyler.”

There was no look of recognition on his face, no hint whatsoever that he had any idea what you were talking about. He was looking at you like you were insane. “What girl?” He asked, his words coming out louder than he meant for them to in his frustration. “(Y/N), I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please feel free to clue me in!”

You huffed and uncrossed your arms as you spun on your heal and headed towards your bedroom. He followed closely like a lost, confused, somewhat angry puppy. You picked up your phone from the nightstand and he scoffed, “Oh, so you do still have a functioning phone.”

You narrowed your eyes at him before unlocking it and pulling up the picture from your text messages. You turned your phone to him and put it in his face, “This girl, Seguin.”

You didn’t know exactly what reaction you were expecting from him, but the one you got definitely wasn’t it.

The asshole laughed.

He fucking laughed.

You dropped your phone on the bed and pointed at the door, “Get out.”

He responded with a simple statement, “No.”

You took a deep breath and crossed your arms again. You were about two seconds away from breaking down into tears and you didn’t want him to see that. “I think we’re done here.”

He stopped smiling.

He took a step toward you, “Baby, let me explain, please. I can explain the picture. It’ll make sense, I swear.”

You wanted to kick his ass out and sit on the floor of your shower crying for a week. But more than that you wanted him to say something that made all of this go away. Something that fixed this mess, so you could go back to sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and a good book, getting excited every time your phone buzzed because just maybe it was Tyler.

So, you didn’t stop him when he started talking.

“The guy’s and I, we were out at this bar.” He started, taking another slow step toward you and you resisted the urge to back away. “These girls came up and they asked me for a picture. I said yes but before I could stand up she sat down in my lap and her friend took it. I asked them to delete it. I guess they didn’t.”

“Why should I believe you?” You asked him, and your voice cracked because he looked so genuine, so panicked at the thought that you might not believe him and there wasn’t anything that he could do about it. He knew just as well as you did that you had plenty of reasons not to believe him.

But you did. You did believe him. You believed him because he was so confused when you accused him of knowing what he’d done. You believed him because he looked so heartbroken staring back at you when those word had left your mouth, like he was already preparing himself for the worst. You believed him because there’s no way to fake the passion that he showed when he arrived at your apartment that night. But mostly, you believed him for his answer to your question.

“Because why would I ever do anything to ruin this?” He asked you, taking another step closer and now he could reach out a hand to touch you. He brushed a hand over the side of your face and you didn’t feel the desire to pull away. “Why would I ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

[hillbillyoracle]

Rebooting My Practice

This is going to be pretty rambly, but I always get a lot out of these posts when other people make them so I wanted to make one too.

I hit a point earlier this year, as I started to really see what all astrology could be, when I knew I was going to need to overhaul pretty much my entire practice. For the last decade, I've focused on divination; on doing activities that sharpen my intuition, following up and checking predictions, tracking cards and results to better understand the connection, etc. I did this primarily in the service of my main deity, the Morrigan.

I still work with her, but I'm in a lurch as to how to continue my work with her. I have yet to quite figure out how to balance her general distaste for shrines (with me at least) and deepening my relationship with her in the absence of local folks to read for as I've relied on for years (thanks COVID). I've been praying the Catholic Rosary lately as a way to deepen my relationship with the Virgin Mary and the Saint I'm petitioning lately and I feel her kind of peering in when I do that so I might have to design one for her. I have a feeling whatever I come up with will likely be in a free zine rather than a blog post at some point.

But where that left me was in this weird abyss, where the only really solid things in my practice were like 3 deities (The Morrigan, Hermes, Yinepu/Anubis) I worked with regularly and tarot cards. I think for plenty of people that's fine but I wanted something deeper and more effective. It was around the time that I was rethinking everything that I stumbled on to this post about a magical routine that absolutely enthralled me. It took me another month and ultimately moving house altogether to even begin to piece something together that would set me on the road to something like this. I knew I was not ready but I finally had a picture in my mind something to work towards. Like rehabilitating after an injury, sometimes you've got to do half as much as you think you can before you really take off.

So I wanted to take some time and talk about the way my practice is changing and what the new pillars are slowly emerging to be.

Planetary Petitions

While I don't have the Orphic Hymns for each of the 7 classical planets memorized yet as per the post, I started by doing planetary prayers more days than I do not do them. Thanks to my truly godawful downstairs neighbor at the new place, who's floor shaking door slams throughout the whole night have netted me an average of 3 hours a night, I'm usually up for the first planetary hour of a given day. Hey maybe it's a sign, a big universal push to show the fuck up.

I'm also incredibly lucky I loaded up on some planetary incenses right before COVID when a local store had a huge sale. It's proved well worth it as above all I try to get the planetary incense right, though I did have to default to a Frankincense one when we were first moving in.  I slowly feel like I'm beginning to understand the planetary spirits better but only slightly. I completely see why memorizing the prayer is recommended and I do feel that's standing in the way of me being closer with them.

I have not noticed a huge difference when I petition them truthfully. I get the vibe that it takes time to build up that relationship. Though I'm open to input here - for those who do planetary petitions, what made them click for you?

Saint Veneration + Christian Magic

One thing I put off for many years, though I knew it was coming, was working with more Saints. I knew it'd likely involve having to dip back into Christianity to make it work and I was completely right.

As my partner began revisiting her Catholic roots earlier this year, it got me curious about things like the Rosary, the Chaplet, and Novenas. I was raised charismatic fundamentalist Christian as a child and such things were explicitly forbidden. I remember getting a long talking to when I'd taken to reading about Sainte Jeanne d'Arc. So they aren't loaded for me the way they are for others, but they’re situated in this fundamentally familiar context that makes them feel like meeting a cool branch of the family you didn't realize existed.

I'm finishing a Novena to a Saint I've been praying to in the next few weeks. I am admittedly not as close with her as I'd like to be. I'm trying to figure out how to move forward with her as I'd really like to have her in my life. I will probably reach back out to Sainte Jeanne d'Arc as she's always felt familiar and been good to me. I also keep her prayer card and medallion in my wallet and have for many years so maybe there's more to build from there. It is my goal to have about 3 saints/Christian figures I can call on when I need help. I'm thinking of approaching Mary Undoer of Knots next but I'm worried it'll follow the same path as this current saint.

My partner and I bought Rosaries back in May and I absolutely love it. I've been saying at least a 5 decade rosary for most days but I'm regularly getting in a 15 decade rosary. I really love it and am totally convinced of the beauty and effectiveness of the system. I've come to understand Christianity in a totally different light through praying it regularly.

So that is on going and evolving and I'd love to hear from people who've cultivated close relationships with a Saint or Angel.

Ancestors

One thing that working with Christianity again has made easier is praying to ancestors. I've often felt a bit at odds with my own ancestors as they were not the most supportive of trans and queer people (and I am both of those) but in coming back to Christianity has given me and my ancestors a common language almost. As long as my disagreement with them over my attraction and gender identity is rooted in the Bible, it's been easier to work with them.

It's very early days with ancestor work. I'm slowly working my way through Ancestral Healing by Daniel Foor. But I'm feeling very heartened by it. I saw a post on twitter somewhere, if I can find it again I'll link it, where someone said that the way they started working with their ancestors was just thanking them everyday. And thanking my ancestors is complicated for me, my family like most have their own issues that also go passed on, but thanking them for what I am glad they gave me has been really beneficial.

My partner requested some divination from me when some of her medical issues were starting to get worse and part of the reading involved a strong push for her to investigate her father's side of the family. She got really into genealogy in the process and she's been teaching me a lot. Through that I actually learned my great grandfather's name for the first time - yes that's how out of touch I am with my own family history. But I was thankful to find out.

Through her own research, my partner found out that that branch of her family likely isn't German but actually German speaking Hungarians which was a revelation. She's in the process of confirming but it got us talking about foods and identity and language and how to honor our ancestors more regularly. We're going to try making a nice dinner on Full Moons with dishes that are tied to branches of our family as a way to trying to cultivate a closer relationship with them. I'll definitely update on that as it evolves.

Conclusion + Some Thoughts on Disability

I'm definitely still in the early days of all of this. It's not become quite the foundation I hope it will be yet. I still need to figure out how to continue and deepen my deity relationships. I still need to attempt some different types of spellwork I've been meaning to. And while I didn't talk about it much here, astrology has been playing a huge role in my practice but mostly in a passive way. More of that divination process I talked about in the beginning where I make predictions based on the charts I'm seeing and then double check my work.

I’ve been doing all this while in the thick of a bad flare. Moving plus lack of sleep as meant my disability has been weighing so much harder on me lately. Normally when I’m feeling well enough, I kind of roll my eyes at a lot of the “spoonie witchcraft” posts I see, but for some reason with this flare they just started making me angry and I’m still trying to parse why. I think I just feel like so many are rooted in this performative idea of “feeling” witchy rather than actually helping me with my disability. They aren’t usually focused on practices that either actually treat the pain I’m in or bring my spirit real comfort. 

I’m really hoping to put together a post or possibly a zine that does provide what I always wanted those posts to be. Honestly these pillars here have proven accessible even as I’ve been in some of the worst pain I’ve been in in years. So for any fellow disabled folks who just aren’t getting much out of those posts, I really recommend starting with these. Recite the Orphic Hymn for the day in the corresponding hour. Pray the Rosary or an adapted set of prayers for Pagan prayer beads. Don’t have much money for those? Look up how to make knotted rosaries and adapt the method. Pray to your ancestors and give them some water and a bit to eat. These are doable for a lot of folks even when they’re in bad shape, especially if you take your time with it. Might not make you “feel witchy” but they do some fucking work, that’s for sure. But idk, those are just my thoughts on it. 

So it hasn't all fallen into place yet but I wanted to share what developing a practice looks like in medias res. It's messy, somethings work better than others, but all and all I'm just glad to finally be making meaningful progress again.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #350

“let’s play a love game, play a love game  /  do you want love, or you want fame?  /  are you in the game?”

Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. Would you kiss this person again? I know I fucking would and I hate it more than I could possibly express. Name something that is on your bedroom wall? Lots of artwork, mostly of meerkats. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I need another desk to put stuff on. If you could paint your walls any color what would it be? Something pastel. Maybe like, peach. Soft and warm and would really bring light to the room. What does your phone case look like? It's just this boring purple one that came with the phone. What do you take the most pictures of? My camera roll says my pets, hahaha. What is the point of Twitter for you? Liking Mark's shit lmao. What does your planner look like? I don’t have one. If you get into an argument what is it usually about? My anxiety, I think. What are you always in the mood for? Ummm probably a car ride where I can control the music in the passenger seat. It is very, very rare I'll turn that opportunity down. What’s the last emergency you dealt with? I don't really know; I'm thankfully not in these situations very much, especially when you're cooped up at home. I probably haven't been actually engaged in an emergency since I had to call 911 for my mom before she found out about her cancer. She was basically immobile from agony in her abdomen. Do you have a son? I'm perfectly happy without a son, or kids period. Are you married? No. Have you ever worn a suit? I haven't. Have you ever had to call 911? Twice for Mom. How many keys are on your key-ring? Just one for the house. What’s the last thing you created? An RP post would count as art creation, I'd say. Who are your closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Well, they might be it as far as friends I consider truly close to me. I have a few other people I consider good friends, but we're just not like... on that "close" level, you know? Lisa is maybe another, and Lyndsey perhaps, both WoW friends. Are you ready to have a family? I hate that "have a family" tends to mean get married and have kids, which I'm guessing is what you're implying. If that's the case, no, given I don't want kids and am not fit to get married right now. I'm not even with anyone. I'm content right now with just living with my mom and my two pets, who are children well enough to me. Have you ever taken a DNA test? No. Do you have a family cemetery? No. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? *shrugs* I think it's pretty normal. How do you feel about swallowing pills? What do you mean how do I "feel" about it? I just do it if I need to. What animal is the scariest in your opinion? Some kind of bug, probably. Giant centipedes creep me the fuck out, for one, and I've heard their bite is incredibly painful. I've also always been very afraid of Australia's funnel web spiders since watching some show on Animal Planet when I was younger; I think it scarred me for life, aha. And let's not forget the murder hornets. No thnx, rather die. :') Have you ever questioned your sanity? Way more than once, my friend. How do you feel about people wearing fur coats? Are you for or against it? I am VIOLENTLY against it unless it is for survival in extreme climates and you don't have access to other material. That aside, there is NO way you could possibly convince me that it's okay to wear the fur of something once living on yourself for ~fashion~. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? Let's not go here. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? Haha, yeah. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon or strawberry. I'm not a massive jellybean fan. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? I've never tried it, no. What book/movie has made you cry the hardest? Either The Notebook or Titanic. Something you feared as a kid but don’t anymore? Thunderstorms. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one. Just wash it with water in the shower and then use a washcloth when I feel the need. Would you rather have a snake or a tarantula as a pet? I want both, but I prefer snakes. What is something you are NOT looking forward to? I both am and am not looking forward to my second Covid vaccine because it's notoriously worse than the first; the only bright side to it is that after the potential side effects blow over, I'm job hunting. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time on my phone. Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? Hot, but I like both. Who taught you how to swim? Dad, I think? Can you do push-ups? No. Do you like Doritos? Yesssss. Who is the closest friend that you live by? I don't know. Have you ever banged your head against something? I've had two concussions before, so, y'know. Have you ever jumped on a trampoline? Yeah, I loved that as a kid. Do you like watching scary movies? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt? No, considering I have like no ass, rip. Has one of your friends ever tried to "hook you up?" Ugh, yes. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? Landmarks, by a mile. Although, I'm super bad with directions, so it probably wouldn't really matter much. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Yeah, you got to. Does your house have more than one fireplace? No. What was your favourite gym class moment? The one and only thing I liked about gym as a kid was when you took one of those rainbow tarps and made like, an air bubble underneath to make this awesome dome everyone sat in. Ya missed out if you didn't do that. Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yeah. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? Not at all; I was always flattered, knowing they cared enough to want mine. Apple Jacks: yay or nay? I looove those. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie? Haha yeah, I think it's the second one? Such iconic scenes. It's the one with the Mary Jane girl that Shaggy liked... oh, jokes that went over your head as a kid. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say? I'm too lazy to list the convos themselves, but the people involved are my friends Chelsea and Ian, as well as a friend's mother. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No. It's always on vibrate, and I just turn the brightness way down. What is the sexual orientation of the last person you talked to? She's straight. What’s your favourite hairstyle on the opposite sex? Don't you fucking dare laugh, emo hair is A++. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? Not a big one, no. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? Do I?! I love the first one (though for a while I wasn't very happy they swapped the lead role from Harry to his wife), and while the second is literal trash story-wise and it's ALL over the damn place, I still enjoy it with just how much I adore SH as a whole. What movie scared you the most out of any other movies? The Rite, because the concept of being raped and impregnated by a demon is fucking horrifying to me. Have you ever wanted to be on American Idol? When was this? Nah. Name 5 things you don’t believe in. 1.) "Everything happens for a reason;" 2.) karma; 3.) destiny/fate; 4.) psychics, fortune tellers, all that; and 5.) luck, at least in the sense of someone having set "good" or "bad" luck. If you could have any friend that you’ve lost back, who would you pick? Probably Megan. If you have pets, who normally puts food and water in their dish? Me for both of them. Do you organize the pictures on your computer into different folders or are they all just under “My Pictures”? I have folders. Do you think if someone is in a relationship, that it is acceptable to have sleepovers with other people of their preferred sex? Eh, nah, that feels a bit far to me. I am very firmly for friends still being able to hang out even if they're each other's preferred gender, but a sleepover sounds a bit too intimate, even without sharing a bed. Would you shoot a gun if given the chance? If you’ve shot a gun before, how many different types of guns have you shot? No. I'm very intimidated by guns and nearly shook when I merely handed a friend his (not for anything bad, he just carried it with him when he goes out), and I've got noooo plans of holding one again unless my life depends on it. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing things like artwork or poetry you’ve written? Is it because you don’t think it’s good enough to show off or because it’s too personal? You. Have. Zero. Idea. It's for both reasons, and it's far more severe in person. Online, I actually don't mind much, oddly enough... I can't quite pin down why. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? No. Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? Knives scare me like five times more than guns. Scary movies have nothing to do with it, though. They're just so sharp and the idea of being stabbed by one is terrifying. As someone with a history of self-mutilation too (not with knives, but I've thought about it and once planned to slit my throat with one, but Mom stopped me), they just make me incredibly uncomfortable to the point I can barely hold a "real" knife to just slice food. Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Many times. What is your LEAST favorite Disney animated movie? That I've seen, uhhhhh... I don't know man, there are way too many Disney movies lmao. Who was the last person’s house you went to besides your own? My sister's. On YouTube, who are two people you find hilarious? I'm just counting GameGrumps as one, and then you can't forget Shane Dawson, regardless of the controversy. He probably made me laugh more than any other YouTuber. Do you shave your pits? Yeah. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? I don't think so. Besides the USA, what is your favorite country? I'm not nearly informed enough about foreign countries' politics and laws and mannerisms to have a favorite. Would you rather go to Europe or Asia? Europe. Would you rather go to Africa or Australia? Africa. Would you rather go to Mexico or Canada? Canada. Do you think emo/scene hair is attractive? I love emo and scene hair, don't @ me, it's cute as fuck. Have you ever seen a ghost orb picture? Lots, actually, at one of my old houses that I totally know was haunted. Do you think abortion should be illegal? NO. You would NOT end abortions. You would end SAFE abortions. Do any of your pets have strange habits? Explain? Venus, my ball python, is extremely odd with food to the point I sometimes worry about her, but she's always been this way and is healthy, so I guess it's nothing really worth fretting over. Anyway, when I place her rat in her terrarium, she gets excited first and will pretty much frantically examine her surroundings, like slithering around everywhere, and even when she has clearly found the rat (she'll even prod it with her snout), she usually won't immediately eat. She just like... sits there and has to continue to verify for ten minutes that it's food. I know it's thawed perfectly, btw. So anyway, THAT'S weird... As for Roman, dear god, that cat's just weird, lmao. Especially in the morning, he's very hyper and will bolt around the house sometimes, he "plays" with nothing all the time, he "meerkat"s at nothing that I can nothing, etc. etc. etc. He's a weirdo lol. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? Oh god, I said something really inapprops once when my friend Chelsea startled me. I won't be repeating it lmao. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Sara, I think. Who have you most feared in your life? My dad. He doesn't scare me anymore, but he did. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? Oh idk. What is the worst word anyone ever used to describe you? "Martyr." And not the kind that dies for their beliefs. It hurt me so badly to know someone thought of me that way, and I'll probably never let it go. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No. Roman is one of the billion kittens born to the cats my sister's in-laws have, and Venus is from a ball python breeding business in Florida called The Gourmet Rodent (they sell f/t rodents too, obvs) Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not really. My grandmother though, whew, that was her calling for sure. Have you seen any of the old James Bond movies? Nope. List all of your features that you have ever gotten compliments on: My hair, my eyes, my tattoos, my hands, I think my nose, my dimples, my smile, and my boobs lmao. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon? And if not, would you ever want to go in one? I haven't. I think it'd be kinda cool, but they seem too easy to fall out of, and I'm afraid of heights. I'd probably go in one if given the opportunity. Do you have any stains on your shirt currently? No, but there are two small rips. It's just an old tank top. Do you listen to local bands? No. Not that I'm opposed, I just don't know of any I really enjoy. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Many, many daily. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? They're divorced; they used to fight a lot when they were together. Now they only talk if they have reason to. Have you ever watched a movie that's in a complete different language, so you had to read sub-titles? No. Do people with yellow teeth disgust you? Dude, fuck off, no. My teeth are kinda yellow, and I'm extremely self-conscious about it, so seriously fuck this question. You never know for sure why someone's teeth may seem yellowish. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually a drink or two. Do you wear rings? I always have two on, yeah. Are you hungry right now? No, I literally just ate a breakfast bowl. Have you ever tried smoking a cigarette? No; I haven't the slightest interest in doing so.

[sabraeal]

Hard Talk Theater: I’m Not Well

Hey guys. I know I’ve been...erratic on here and elsewhere lately, and though I’ve talked a little about what is happening on my twitter, I’ve definitely been dragging my feet updating here, where the bulk of my followers are at.

Here’s the short of it: I went into the ER two weeks ago with what I thought was an allergic reaction to some antibiotic and ended up staying 10 days while remaining mostly a medical mystery. They found one autoimmune disorder (ulcerative colitis), and suspect that there may be another that they haven’t found (I have a LOT of follow up to do in the next few months).

I’ll be okay. They’ve ruled out a lot of the scary options, and we’re left with some more rare, head-tilty ones, but ultimately I’m going to heal up and get everything in order.

It’s just...going to take a while. Longer than I’ve ever really let myself have a break for.

I’m still here. Everything just currently takes....so much more effort than it ever has as I heal, and I’m realizing I really won’t just...bounce back in a week, ready to write up more fic. It’s actually been weeks since i had the energy to READ fic. But I am slowly improving every day, and I’m hoping it won’t be long until I’m back, interacting and creating as much as I always have.

It just won’t be as fast as I like

That being said, I’m so glad for all of you. These arrived for me today and I had a good half hour sob once my husband informed me my fandom ladies had wanted to send on their well-wishes. The hardest thing about all this is that I come from a big family, and I have some of the best IRL friends on this planet, and if we weren’t in the middle of all this social distancing I would be buried under their well-visits and food and any other help they could possibly offer-- but for the safety of everyone, we all have to stay away and it’s very...frustrating on all sides. So getting this little reminder of how lucky I am to have made this obiyuki family came right when I needed it most <3

Thank you guys so much for being there. I know I’m on what is probably just the beginning of a long, rocky journey toward recovery, but having you guys here to support me means the world. I love you all so, so much <3