#. . .like sure ill listen. its okay
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love my voice changing, very gender, very cool! but it absolutely sucks that i have to relearn how to sing along to all my favourite songs from scratch because now i cant hit my usual high notes anymore and i'm not used to singing low at all so it's very awkward! And it keeps changing too! can't wait for my voice to settle in somewhere so i can actually find the right range and keep it :/
#oh also my dad keeps calling me 'cute' when my voice cracks 🙈#and i get embarassed because i can't control it and every time i get excited or talk a bit loudly i sound hickupy#im sorry i just cant talk in a monotone voice! i need to be funny! and dramatic!!#anyway im listening to a playlist and i cant sing along like im used to :<#do i need to learn the lower parts of california dreaming now? i alsways sang the high parts since i learned the song in school#mine#t diary#oh fun fact im going to a karaoke thing with friends next week which usually sounds fun (i like singing!) but maybe ill just watch this tim#today i really cant get any of my usual songs right and its a bit frustrating#probably not too fun in front of people i dont know#anyway im sure itll be fun either way#(btw singing stuff on my own works more or less okay but singing along to a song just doesnt work)#ill just keep practicing :)
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i am so sorry about this, but for iconic and comedic purposes, and because i think it is my only chance...i think because put jk in all the clean, sleek, minimalistic dark academia fits ( and made him the fkn scariest top dom motherfucker alive >.> ) and put rm!stan as raven in all the thotty gothy hot topic rockstar boy looks ( ilu tiny pants ) ...
i think it's only fair that...
my bitchy, ginger, picky snobby ricky bobby ken doll son, AKA, red hot tire siren, toxic orange pit viper and mean green newjay devil -- who wears more comme de garcons/moshino than prada, imo -- espn celebpretty sh(it) boy, twitter's favorite #cred#head, /my/ precious daytona 500 winning pookie ( dirtbag ) and the #supreme tmz trashed-and-slated nastyboy of nascar racing, the one, the only...
Kyle 'Break Check!' Broflovski <3
should get to wear all the dramatic af, xxxtreme sportyspice, ubergay nightmarish perish hilton, twinky talladega nights, white #trashion, vodka&redheadbull, apple bottom jeans boots w the fur club fits <3
( also just for shits and gigs, pls note: toolshed stan is a super casual, fashionably challenged but unbothered old carhartt beanie, oversized flannel n beat up work boot wearin king...so i'm laaugghingsdk )
like...i am sorry, but this is the right answer:
#nina speak#everyone staring at me with bewildered eyes#TWINK KYLE????#listen!!!! i wanted some of the action okay#also u cannot tell me this is EXTREMELY CORRECT#i also don't know if he is that tall but its a force of habit#he just has ENERGY#like i can feel this in my BONES i know its just the most extra avant garde white boy wasted thot fit of all time#i am not sure if he does it bc he likes it or bc he wants attention yet but all i know is that he is slaying#and the people of south park are going to point and laugh#not mechanic stan tho bc he is nice ( a little under his breath badly disguised as a cough ) before raceky says something foul#like smh toolstan u should have been mean baby!!! don't let him call ur vintage safety goggles dorky king!!! stand ur ground#StAN FOR SOMETHING skhdlksad haha#but no it is giving the simple life#also i love toolshed stan he is just a backcountry rural colorado weed farm boy who is really good at fixing stuff#celebshitty kyle talking so fast it is...hurting his brain like he is fascinated by it...but is also like...are u perhaps having a stroke#ill do him next but like pls tell me someone understands the vision like its so specific and i destroyed the canon again#but i wanted to write a bitchy fingerbang kyle and this is my solution by writing obnoxious spoiled rotten racecar driver ky
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Oh you KNOW this playlist is full of bangers when I've got 4-5 of them stuck in my head at once
#CANT WAIT TO DO THE TOURNAMENT NOW#the rotation is like#brought this on yourself - remnants of gold - five nights - five unholy nights - chronicles of bonnie#theres a few more that pop in for less time too#this hasnt happened since the first time i listened to nothing but the mechanisms for a week#IVE ALREADY LEARNED SOME OF THE WORDS TO THESE SONGS TOO AND ITS BEEN 2 DAYS#this tournament is going to be so fun#not a poll#OH YEAH special tag update on that btw#all the images are obtained and the bracket image has been made!#so all thats left to do is - edit the images to all be 500x500 - organize the images and songs Into the bracket#- make the poll matchup images - get the polls up and scheduled!!!#once i have the bracket image itself ill put that up an hour or two before the polls drop#so you have time to look if youd like!#okay this was a long update whatever anyway#if you havent listened to these songs yet you are MISSING OUT#theres some that definitely feel like Babys First Song because its a lot of smaller artists#but dont get me wrong. one of the ones with the worst mic quality is probably one of my FAVORITES#i KNOW the big artists are probably going to sweep for sure#but i HOPE its a hard won fight#2023 tournament
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i think caracca's songs are genuinely really good unfortunately i have yet to find one that really grabs me in particular
#they have a very recognizable way of using kafu#like there arent many people with specific tuning for the isotopes but theres been several times#i wasnt paying attention letting the daily ranking songs play & i was like hm this tunings familiar it kinda sounds like caracca#never heard the song before. but sure enough it was caracca#i do like giraffe center for sure. but again its like. something ill listen to if theres nothing else i have in my head#very solid songs i would never oppose to them being put on. maybe one day there'll be one#that makes me go wild but for now im just a very casual fan#their songs have the general feel of long countryside summer car rides with the windows halfway down. to me.#like. a peaceful calm but theres an underlying sense of regret or dissatisfaction or unwilling acceptance#which is perhaps not a universal experience and thats okay
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tried putting on my radiator for the first time this winter (we've had snow this week.... its focking cold) but it trips the fusebox for the entire flat lmfao. I'm fuuuucked 😐
#all the other radiators work fine its just mine :'(((#and bc its thw weekend they wont come out to fix it until monday at least so thats great#its fine i havent needed it on this week so far and i have layers and a hot water bottle so ill be fine but i did cry abt it a bit#but not so much abt the radiator just a lot on my mind.. i couldnt pick up my prescription after work either bc the secretary left half an#hour early and the very kind nurse who had a look for it anyway couldnt find it and i cant get there any earlier next week bc of work#i know itll be fine ive already sent an email to ask if they can send it to my local pharmacy instead ill get my meds before they run out#but still i cried a bit walking home from the clinic 😢 just been a long week even if not a bad one. and i miss my friend whos moving#he'll be on the plane now.... man. its a bit selfish but im also sad abt it bc he always noticed how i was feeling when i was at the gym#like if i was privately dealing w some shit or just wasnt quite myself he could tell n would find a moment to gently ask or just be there#without probing abt it like man hes so reassuring and kind and has such a big heart. before he left he asked me to look out for some of#the quieter ones in our group and make sure they feel included and someones listening to them when he wont be around to anymore#😢💔💔💔💔 and i know i didnt know him long enough to become proper good friends with him but it meant a lot that he looked out for me#like all i really want in this world is to feel seen n safe esp when im having a hard time. and none of my closer friends really do that#and thats okay like its not their fault and they just express their way of caring differently but sometimes i feel so lonely ah....#and also my period is due and im kind of scared of how painful itll be bc the last few have been so bad snd i find loneliness a lot harder#when im in a lot of pain and anyway this is all probably just the pre period hormones making me so tearful so it doesnt matter#its ok made a big bowl of rice so im going to eat that wrapped up cosy in bed with a movie i think. and then sleep#.diaries
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Well it's likely I have covid but the good news is being unable to do anything will really help me finally catch up on my they might be giants podcast
#im really 😭 though because im on call at work this week (from home) but its gonna make it miserable#like taking calls from customers while i have brain fog sounds so awful#my partner is really sick but i seem to be okay so far but i do habe mild symptoms but im testing negative but im sure 90% i have a mild#case esp since he tested positive and we went to this concert together#i feel so dumb for going to the concert like its a risk of course but#auvhhh sigh#i barely leave my house so i just feel dumb for going to one big thing and immediately getting sick but#i cant really complain its not a big deal#really though hopefully i can use the week at home to get a lot of music done but ill probably end up laying innbed listen to podcast and#bootlegs and playing minecraft. but thats ok
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Smoking isn't cool
#look. look. i hate smoking i hate it a lot. but if my friends want to smoke im like okay sure im judging u a bit but its your life whatever#BUT it annoys me So much when someone goes oh smoking is so bad and hurts you and ive been trying to convince person that smokes to stop !!#only to immediately start when Someone Cool offers them a cigarette. like?? if u want to ruin ur lungs fine its your body#but at least fucking Stick to your own words. dont try to be all holier than thou only to immediately succumb to peer pressure#GROW A FUCKING SPINE. either stand up to Me or to the person offering you a smoke/drink/whatever#ull need to learn to live w ur decisions eventually why not start w me when i at least try to be a bit nice n understanding#this isnt even about smoking tbh this is about my friends not listening to their own goddamn morals and reason#me when my friend doesnt tell me smthing bc they think ill judge them for it. like. yes? i will#if you were being stupid? but if you stand by your decision then you should still be able to tell me?? despite Oh No Friend Might Judge Me:(#idk. annoyed. smoking still isnt cool so stop acting like it is#stormy in here
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i need more friends who are rude cunts about the same things i am so they could bring out my dormant agression
#i have exactly one relatively mean friend and he pissess me off he's a hater for such inconsequential things for me that i honestly couldnt#gaf about#such as finding x y z lecturer annoying not liking x y z person i dont knowwwwwwwwwww .#its easier when friends who i do not know irl complain about this sort of stuff#notwhen ican verify somebody's opinion and think. well the teacher isnt annoying or specifically trying to make YOUR life hellish lol theyr#just doing their job. perhaps they're a bit overbearing. if you have this hard of a time w overbearing people.. how do you even want to be#a psychologist? a therapist??#maybe i'm mistaken but i really feel like. this is the one field my dormant and passive personality shines in#. . .like sure ill listen. its okay
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IN THE NIGHT IN THE NIGHT THIS IS HOW IT GOES
WE ARE ALL OR NOTHING
IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT LISTEN TO YOUR BONES
CAN YOU HEAR IT COMING?
#neon brother#nothing but thieves#screaming lyrics into the void#I MISHEARD THIS LYRIC ORIGINALLY AND IM STILL UPSET#bc i heard 'pulse' instead of 'bones' and something clicked in my brain and it meant everything to me#like. 'we are all or nothing' okay sure i can see that#listen to your pulse. you can hear your heart beating and your blood flowing right now. youre not nothing then. are you?#and ig that point works with bones too but its not the same#plus it gives a new meaning to the lines about the wires humming like. you see it right?#just. god#and i was gonna post this last night but when i found out 'pulse' wasnt the right word i was so disappointed#maybe im not making any sense#maybe ill delete these tags later but i wanted to get this out#anyway. 'neon brother' <2
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CHLOE BDAY HIP HIP HURRAY
#stardust speaking !#saw the preview with chloes lines. oh hes so endearing#im highly in the 'thats akiras lil bro' corner but congrats to the chloe fans#(thinks of lennox bday card with the whole 'the one who wins can ask the loser to do something' ->akira asks leno to bend down#so they can PAT HIM ON THE HEAD......................ure so tall so it probably doessnt happen often right.....#......#????????#lenoaki is so tender it makes my head spin#<-person who cried during lennox chara story so is biased#shakes everyone listen the wizard are ssooooo important to akira and for akiras development and building selfconfidence and selflove this#is why i will nvr ever shut up about them here cuz they have such a massive role- <-just likes them a lot#T_^#okay anyway i actually wrote a lil thing for myself today HURRAY ive been in a more. oh i can do things. mood lately#theres a selfindulgent thing i wanna write a lil bit off but aside from that i wanna. do something here#inb4 itll be a tiny teeny thing ive been thinking about lately before tackling 2 para+ stuff. WE WILL SEE eventually#not tonite for sure i am zzzzzzzzz#but i missed writing tiny things for myself so im gonna try to keep at this.#one day ill do that for akira things too. i need to write down my silly postmhyk aus and my silly dramatic modern aus for me myself and i#i dont talk about it a lot here cuz its embarrassing but wizards in akiras world is always a funny concept to me#5ever thinking about INTERNET IS SUGOI figaro from that one figaaki comic#actually that one where figaro memorized akiras name when its written makes me dizzy I WANNA TALK ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT AGAIN.....#T_T akira learning how to write the wizards names. yknow. at least. since they cant read the language at all#okay its way past my bedtime#i cant get into akira & their language at this hour itll be too much#tldr while i think its difficult for akira to rly pick it up (cuz they understand everything they say!??!?!??!?!)#recognizing words u see commonly....................happens..........+ akira making an effort to learn certain words
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...
#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow#but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done#and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird#but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow#so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood#was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone#ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and#hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy#i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better#god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely#focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony#so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno#lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done#to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself#sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough#lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime#so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha#back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies#oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad#tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire#tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh#unrelated
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havent heard her sing the 'dignare domine' part today and i realise i may have gotten addicted to it throughout the last few days. im having withdrawal symptoms and apparently a real actual crush on this woman lord help me jesus h christ im in trouble haha
#nonononononnononnnnonononononooooo#i dont even care about that te deum all that much. like yay dvorak but its pretty meh. it has incredibly beautiful moments tho#and that dignare domine is really mid until *she* sings it. like oh my god christ on a stick the way my knees go fucking weak#this is NOT okay#heard her sing it four days in a row and every time it was a religious experience and every time i forgot to come in with the miserere#cause i was too busy making hearteyes at her and listening to that exquisite fucking piano and all the overtones fucking with my brain#my god. she DOES have technical issues... and we have VERY different opinions on chest voice lol but my god my god my GOD#honest to god never heard a voice like hers live before. its nothing crazy in a classroom but when she actually sings in a big hall. christ#the overtones are INSANE. she has a case of caballe where her piano is better than her forte lol but when i say better i mean#ABSOLUTELY FUCKING SUBLIME#this is a voice that MUST be heard live. fucking chills. one in a million honest to god (the fact that im sure she'd sing even better IF.)#i dont even care about her Modern Ways tho lol like legit. dont care.#also she's easily one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen.#god god god i hate it here. im gonna have to try and be So Normal now and i fucking bet ill make it weird oh for fucks sake no#quitting this fucking uni istg how am i supposed to do this
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New vent art dropped guys 🙃
#we are in fact *not* ok#but drawing is a good alternative to self harm or listening to The Voices™ sooooo#currently sitting here fightin the urge to burn myself with a candle#anyway back to the doodles I go before The Urges win ❤️❤️❤️#idle speaks#queenie draws#queenie rambles#i am not okay#im blurry and having a crisis and like 99% sure we split again#i have no idea who I am and its not a vibe#this is a cry for help#(ignore me Ill be fine again once my brain blocks this all from my memory and I jjst assume we went to bed early tonight until I realize#persephone blocked me and I do this all over again in the morning and maybe make myself sick. which would add another layer to this Hell#because I don't want to deal with emetophobia in the middle of whatever this is)
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huh
#okay. that song makes me feel like shit. good to know.#yeah those two lyrics sure are. ha. yeah. that's what it was. thats all i was.#sometimes it feels like thats all ill ever be#perhaps i will not listen to korn#i mean its not at all the point of the song but yknow#gotta love trauma ig
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Suella Braverman Stop Talking Out Her Ass Challenge
#holy fuck dude please quit it lol#wE'rE dOInG aN aUdIT On tHe dEpArtMeNT bEcaUse wE mIGht bE toO WoKe ????#ToO mUch uSeLess DivERsitY tRaiNiNG On TopICs thAt I dOnT fEeL pERsOnAlLy AffECt mE ????#okay listen yes its patronising sometimes but people DO need to be reminded not to be giant cockstains to each other#also just because you personally feel like youre facing microaggression problems it doesnt mean others arent lol ???#it could probably use a bit of reform sure !! maybe more needs to be done about incidents when they happen too !!#but good grief#also can the word Woke get its head out of politics please#ill give it credit as a good way to identify the arseholes out there easily#but say what you mean ... dont hide it with Woke ......#rory's ramblings
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i will ALWAYS be salty abt the ed-sheeranification of one ok rock (one of my fave personality-building anecdotes i explain at parties to ppl getting to know me) but the fact is that takas voice is soooo hot he could sing the words on the back of a milk carton to the tune of a t*ylor sw*ft song + id probably still listen to him. sorry
#well actually that isnt true bc i very rarely ever listen to oor anymore. theyve made so much terrible music its tainted their good shit#but like twice a year i go back thru their discography and reminisce over niche syndrome.....a guy can dream#whenever they release new stuff i always get my hopes up theyre gonna go back to their roots and they never do. saaad#but i have this weird grandmotherly love for taka whenever i see him in music videos for his new stuff im like aww how Nice :^)#wish he hadnt outgrown his emo phase but thats ok im glad hes enjoying himself and the band seems to be popular still#.diaries#i do have a big old soft spot for ambitions era even if its kinda mid. its associated w a lot of nice memories i have of my ex#if nothing else i appreciate how earnest their music was around then.... god listening now and i still know All The Lyrics lmfao#still mad they replaced the japanese vers with an english rerecord for release outside of japan tho. that was unnecessary 😐#maaann my ex had VERY different music taste to me but its sweet how many bands are rose tinted for me bc of them#like theres some stuff i would never have voluntarily listened to. but listening to them talk excitedly carved a niche in my ears#they made me a bunch of playlists for things they found that they thought id like.. i still have some of them saved/backed up#im surprised some of the ogs still exist tbh bc they unfollowed me on spotify + privated/deleted a ton of shit like a year ago#but a couple r still standing.. idk id like to think maybe they left them bc they had some nice memories too. i could never hate them man#SORRY FOR TALKING ABT MY EX AGAIN this music just takes me right back. im v glad we're not dating or in each others lives anymore#but also u cant be that close w someone for that long without them having a lifelong impact on u. or at least i cant anyway#and its nice to remember them fondly sometimes even if we were both cunts to each other. hope theyre doing alright wherever they are#god i need to start dating again its so fun i miss it so much. once im settled in the new place + i have a secure job....#i mean ik who id LIKE to date but im pretty sure that aint happening lmaooo. ill get over it i love meeting new ppl anyway#okay enough rambling im gonna go make lunch if ur reading this far ily hope ur having a nice day XOXO aaaaand post
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