#but then this dude from my job is also here
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garden daisy (part 2) // ellie williams
*・゜゚・* summary: ellie makes a new friend, and you feel all weird about it.
*・゜゚・* pairing: modern!ellie x reader
*・゜゚・* content: sfw
*・゜゚・* length: 1.6k
this is part two of this series! find part one here
okay so i feel like the way i've organized this series is kind of confusing as it started as a random blurb... technically part one is this blurb however the real story starts in the xmas fic! the blurb just kind of exists floating around somewhere before the events of that and sets up the dynamic. call it part 0.5 i guess. also i'm so sorry if ur name is haley it was genuinely the first name i thought of hahaha
after christmas, once you’re all settled back into life at college, ellie gets a new job. it’s just a few shifts a week at a music store, but she seems to be enjoying it. you’re happy for her; it’s nice to see her getting out of the apartment more, doing something that allows her to be in her element.
but then she starts mentioning a girl she works with. like, a lot.
“dude, look at what haley sent me today, i was dying.”
“haley had, like, the coolest shirt on at work.”
“oh my god, so i found out haley likes comics, too.”
at first, it doesn’t really bother you. then, it’s a case of you trying not to let it bother you. why even should it? she’s allowed to make new friends; her life doesn’t revolve around you.
still, you don’t like the way your chest starts to twist every time she gets mentioned, every time you see ellie smiling at her phone. you can hear them on facetime frequently through the thin walls of your apartment, and you more often than not end up shoving your headphones in to drown it out.
they start spending time together outside of work, too. she mentions that they’re going to see an exhibit together on a shared day off, and it takes everything for you to look up from your laptop, give her a tight smile and utter, “cool.”
you can tell she’s a bit dispirited by your reaction, like she’s debating saying something. she leaves it, though, just nodding once and pursing her lips before walking away. you kick yourself for it immediately — wishing you’d tried harder to appear enthusiastic for her. you’re worried it could be the seed of a wedge being driven.
it’s not like she’s completely neglected your friendship. you live together. you see her every day. she still gently knocks at your ajar door, poking her head around and asking if you want to watch a movie with her. you make dinner together on friday nights, something you’d done since you moved out of the dorms and got a semi-decent place.
you’re just so used to it being the two of you. sure, you both have other friends, but you’re best friends. you can’t help but feel a little uneasy all of a sudden someone new is making their way up the ladder, ellie not having quite as much time for you anymore.
at least, that’s what you tell yourself the reason is. you know the real one.
you eventually meet the esteemed haley when she comes over to hang out, and to your petty dismay she well and truly lives up to the boasting. you’ve seen pictures of her (as in, you found her on instagram and stalked her at two in the morning), but she’s even prettier in person. she’s sweet, too, giving you a hug and saying how great it is to finally meet you. ellie talks about you all the time, apparently.
the evening’s spent with the tv on, a few drinks sipped. you’re on one side of the couch, ellie on the other, new friend in the middle. you hate how genuinely likeable she is; she goes out of her way to speak to you, asking you questions about yourself and chatting jovially when you find common ground. she’s cool, smart, witty — it’s impossible not to compare yourself, and feel subpar. like old news.
and you wish you weren’t, but you’re reading into every little thing. the way the two of them easily bounce off of each other’s jokes, the way you can see even where you’re from how ellie’s eyes light up when she looks at her. deciding three’s a crowd and you’re just hurting your own feelings, you call it pretty early.
when you stand after finishing your drink and announce that you’re going to bed, you note the way that ellie’s face drops. “oh… really?”
you scrunch your nose, trying to sound untroubled. “yeah, i’m kinda tired, so…”
“m’kay,” she replies, chewing slightly at the inside of her cheek. she knows you better than that. since you first met, you’ve never been ‘kinda tired’ by nine.
after a pause and a quick look back and forth between the two of you, haley gives you a smile, reiterating her earlier statement. “well, it was so nice to meet you, anyway.”
you return it, nodding. your eyes flit to ellie for a split-second. “yeah, you too. see you both later.”
with that, you place your glass in the sink across the room and head off down the hall.
you change and get ready for bed, although the plan was never to sleep. you’re nestled under a blanket, lights dim and a candle burning as you keep your eyes trained on the bullshit stream of youtube videos you’d put on. you’re not really paying attention, mind well and truly elsewhere; simultaneously feeling sorry for yourself, and like the most petty, mean person in the world.
you feel pathetic for wishing ellie’s new friend wasn’t so easy to get along with. she came off as a nice person, and not in a sickly, fabricated way. you could understand how she’d easily tugged ellie out of her shell. a part of yourself had been secretly hoping she was irritating, or bitchy, or weird towards you — you just wanted something to latch onto, something to validate all the uncomfortable emotions that had been swirling ever since she became prominent.
but there was nothing. now all you’re left with is a weird bitterness towards a perfectly normal, sweet girl, her only crime being fetching up a childish possessiveness within you.
you don’t even understand why you’re like this over her in particular; ellie was always an introvert, but it wasn’t like she was a complete recluse. she’d had a serious girlfriend in high school, seen a couple of girls your first year of college, and you don’t remember feeling anywhere near how you are right now. you just guessed you didn’t have as much understanding of how you looked at her back then, combined with the domesticity of now having your own real place luring you into a warped way of thinking.
you hear haley leave around an hour and a half after you’d taken yourself to bed, followed by ellie shuffling around the kitchen space. the tap runs and there are a few clinks as she washes then places the three glasses to dry, hitting the lights off. her room’s further down the hall from yours, and she hesitates as she’s making her way there.
a few light taps sound from the other side of the door. “you asleep?”
“… no,” you call out softly, watching as it cracks open and ellie picks her way in. wordlessly, she plops herself onto the bed next to you, arm behind her head. you shift away a little, offering her more room.
“what’re you watching?”
“uh…” grabbing the remote, you pause the video for a beat so the title shows. you’re not even sure; you’d just selected the first you saw, then let the rest autoplay. “… ‘six most disturbing forest encounters caught on camera’.”
she chuckles. “spooky.”
“eh… they’re all fake.” you look up at her, smiling a little.
“could’ve fooled me.”
“i’m sure,” you laugh lightly, feeling the need to turn away when she goes to meet your eyes.
it’s quiet for a while, but you can sense she wants to say something. it’s not like one of the times she waltzes into your room simply to hang out, sit at the side of one another peacefully.
“you okay?” she eventually asks gently, turning her head to regard you. you don’t meet it.
“yeah, i’m fine.”
“you sure? ‘cause… i don’t know. you seem a little…”
“i’m all good.” glancing up, you offer an unconvincing, flickery smile. “don’t worry.”
“… okay.”
you can tell it offers no comfort, but she doesn’t push it. just settles further into the bed, scratching at her chin.
her eyes dart from the tv screen to the wall, then back to you. “haley’s cool, right? guessed you guys would get along.”
“yeah, she seems nice.”
she’s really not being subtle; but then again, neither are you. you’d been perfectly friendly while you were all together, but the way you’d disappeared coupled with your increasingly half-hearted responses whenever she was brought up pointed elsewhere.
“seriously, what’s up?” she turns onto her side to face you, resting her head on her arm. “i don’t like this.”
you roll your eyes, sighing as you turn, mirroring her. “it’s stupid.”
“what’s stupid?”
your mind flashes with a million ways you can get an overview of your feelings out, without having to tell her the root cause. “i don’t know, i’m just… like, used to it being… y’know, me and you.”
she pulls a face, letting out a fond scoff and furrowing her brow. “what do you mean?”
a tiny groan sounds from your throat, fingertips rubbing at your eye. “i’m just being stupid. fuckin’ embarrassing.”
laughing quietly again, she narrows her eyes a little. “what, are you, like… jealous?”
“no, i just… i don’t know. ignore me.” you’re trying to ignore the way you can feel your cheeks heat up when she says that word. you’d known all along that’s what you were, but being confronted with it is a whole other sensation entirely.
she doesn’t say anything for a moment, just keeps a small smirk on her face and looks down. “that is stupid.”
“right. thanks.”
“no, like…” subconsciously shuffling closer, her leg brushes yours. she quickly moves it. “dude, i can have other friends, but no-one’s gonna be you.”
you blink, thrown by her sincerity. you’d half-expected her to poke a little fun, call you a dumbass. she continues, your eyes meeting hers as she settles her head into the palm of her hand. “you’re always gonna be my best friend.”
yeah, i know, you think. that’s the problem.
#me at the wlw trope of laying in bed facing each other store#tlou#tlou2#ellie williams#ellie williams fluff#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams tlou2#wlw fic#lesbian fic#ellie#modern!ellie williams#modern!ellie#my writing#abbysleftbicepp#kaykeryyy
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From @pink-gladioli
#The two of them are terrorists and probably killed at least a few hundred people but no community service is fine#From the realms pov Jestro turned evil got a second chance and then turned evil again#dude if king halbert was willing to shit talk a artist so bad they basically got banished then tell me how he isn’t putting Jestro in jail#like I know he probably has some emotional attachment to the dude since he watched him grow up in his castle but still#bro kidnapped your wife and killed your daughters best friend he needs jail time#i love Jestro with my whole heart but I am the lawyer trying to get him on death row
From @starwarrior18
#well that’s fair#from the kingdom’s point of view#jestro went back to being evil#I don’t think anyone knew he was mind controlled#and I’m sure arnoldi joined on purpose for the art#they’re lucky they’re getting community service#probably thanks to jestro’s boyfriend#thank you clay
From @angninjin
#good job jestro#i am proud of you#meanwhile arnoldi is doing smth#good for him#GOOD FOR JESTRO MY SON#IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK
From @penofwildfire
#this right here pisses me off#cuz like yes obviously Jestro did much of what he did of his own will#but also he was so close to changing! he was doing so well! and then weird lightning mind control happened!!#and this scene would be fine if there were more seasons where Jestro got his actual redemption and got to be happy#but NO! SHOW CANCELLED! AND JESTRO IS SAD AND ANGRY AND MEAN!#devastating scene to end on
Glad to see you 2 doing some community service.
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i think we need to reclaim bihet more because its kinda true sometimes i find myself having deeply heterosexual problems
#i kinda like this dude. yes the one that ive posted about since like december. but idrc if its romantically or as friends#but then this dude from my job is also here#cant tell if he likes me or if the other guards are just acting up#hes gonna be on the swim team next year and he was like lmaoo you should join swim again#WHY DID I FUCKIN CONSIDER IT 😭😭#im mid at swimming and this would take 2 periods out of my school schedule which is already insane#i was thinking about it like. should i drop one of my 3 science classes or take english at summer school#also its some sports anime bullshit but that happens to me sometimes#thw swimmer is 2 years older than me. but the first guy is 3 years older than me. so 🫥
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lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.
#you messed up an excellent little autistic dude caterina look at him he has no personal life and his only friend is his scar-ass cousin!!#because that's what you told him he has to be and he believed you!!!#all that and you wouldn't even let him have a wyvern dagger just for fun and b/c it makes him SO happy? when i get you caterina dellamorte#I'm finding the crow family drama so compelling in this game I'm just hanging around treviso Observing haha#I wish they'd given illario a bit more nuance in this (as I feel he does have in the wigmaker job)#b/c with the sheer pantomime susness he's got going on they really don't want you to engage with him deeply haha#also teia mvp as always but I think that goes without saying (and happily all these lads around her seem to know it)#both lucanis and viago like 'thank you teia you're the best 🥺' and she's like 'yeah I know'#protective big sis of the remaining crow family haha. and she's got to be barely thirty years old at this point. I'm love her so much#'*annoyed voice* MAKER HELP US' she's saying what we're all thinking#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#I think my rook is having some uncomfortable moments of realizing some parallels here with their own relationship to the watchers haha#like 'buddy you're so much more than just a tool for your family to use. I however have a sacred duty I was banished from#the fulfilment of which determines my entire worth and that I am low-key mourning behind the levity b/c that's what I was made for. ...wait#I feel like rye was more the illario & lucanis combo only child tho. wants so much to be good but keeps getting into Shenanigans#chaotic underachiever with frankly upsetting potential when they actually get their act together and they WANT to so bad#but also. shenanigans keep happening. releasing blighted gods is only barely the wildest of them
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Still ducking hilarious to me that Zoro & Sanji began their beef because they thought the other was misogynistic and it came to a head of no return when Zoro felt his title of ‘Luffy’s specialest boi’ threatened by Sanji’s comment
#MY DUDES PLEASE YOU’VE BOTH GOT THAT FEMINIST JUICE FLOWING YES THESE TWO THINGS IDEAS CAN BE TRUE AND EXIST BUT THEN!! BUT THEN!!!!#Zoro takes Sanji’s WE + NEED + HIM (Luffy) SO DUCKING P E R S O NA. L DEADASS STRUCK THE LOUDEST DAMN CORE IN ALL OF ZORO AND RAISED EVERY#DAMN ALARM POSSIBLE#Aaaaaand ��You just got here /you/ don’t know what Luffy needs’ MY GOOD FIRST MATE OF A MAN C A L M D O W N N N IT IS /NOT/ THAT DEEP#‘I know he needs my cooking’ SANJII NOOOOO DON’T FALL FOR IT#‘Like what putting two slices of bread together’ Oh god. oh no. we are never coming back from this (pure hilarious joyous disaster) Ever!#Roronoa Zoro#Black Leg Sanji#Monkey D. Luffy#One Piece Live Action#OPLA#One Piece#All jokes aside tho Zoro was right to make sure they didn’t go inside to aid their captain#They would’ve been more of a distraction than help because Luffy wouldn’t have been able to let loose as much as he did#Zoro’s a good first mate but also buddy my guy my dude Sanji does NOT want your job bud ain’t nobody want your job especially when Luffy#made it very clear /you/ are worth more to him than /food/#Somebody should tell Zoro that tho man could use the affirmation#But also…my guy…what were you so jealous so hissy so darn quick to b!tch for helpp ☕️🤧💀#Zolu#Ani Rambles#Luzo
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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I really wish that antis stopped using real life sa victims in their shit especially since they tell real life sa victims that we deserved our assaults cos we all handle our trauma differently.
#sa mention#proship#fandom discourse#fiction is the closest i can feel to normal cos my severe ptsd irl makes me violent if strangers so much as brush up against me#we all handle it differently and yes i write utterly fucked up shit to desensitize myself & somehow managed to stabilized through the years#despite me still having my snappy “scary” moments if people touch me without permission and i punched a dude for standing too close to my#back. he was literally smelling me and i lost my shit and now im banned from that walgreens but meh#now im unloading in the tags but if you're an anti sincerely gfy cos y'all literally attack sa victims on here like its your day job#y'all also don't know the first thing about psychology cos guess who's a psychologist here??? yes this unhinged bitch that covers up like a#gothic church mommy and cusses like a trucker is an actual professional in the field. i studied thinking studying psychology would make me#cope better... it somewhat did help but i should have just gone to a therapist rather than bottling in a going to a freaking university#yes i troll and say fucked up shit on here. this is a social media for my fandom shit so i aint gonna act like the doc i was ages ago and#fiction actually can help some people (especially those like me who are still having violent ptsd eps affecting them) little by little#retake their lives back#there's other forms of therapy but not everything works for everyone and its ridiculous to put all victims under the same umbrella#and its condescending and ignorant af to expect all sa victims to be your perfect little victims of convenience and treat us like crap cos#not all of us fit your toxic narrative of attacking freaking fake people in a nonexistent fictional world.#i have friends that are sa victims that can't handle it in fiction but they know thats my mechanism. since im a now retired professional#i have done everything i can to help them cos yes there's multiple ways to help victims cope with this. even regression exercises help#but that's another thing#and it involves multiple sessions. i no longer practice but can teach people some techniques to regulate their emotions in high stress#situations cos the aftermath of sa is brutal regardless of how you cope with it#you'll need a support group to catch you when you can't handle it sometimes. you're not alone or broken. pls know this
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I used to have a co-worker that was notorious for immediately disparaging any opinion that was less than outright bigotry as filthy liberal talk and I still take pride in the one time he called me a liberal and I was like excuse me I'm not that conservative
Dude had no idea how to react to the concept that what he considered extreme leftist bs I considered conservative centrist bs
#this was also the same guy who was such an egregious Elon Musk Fanboy that he literally got fired bc he had a violent meltdown over him#(I have another coworker who used to work at the Tesla gigafactory near here and had OSHA violations that literally deafened her in one ear)#(and she's extremely critical about her time there and the kind of people that those workplaces tend to attract)#Dude only lasted a week and a half and ended up getting assault charges filed against him at the end of it#I wasn't there the day it happened but apparently it was REALLY bad#he was widely disliked from day one because he made some very sexist remarks early on and hated that he kept getting talked to by HR#i think he wouldve gotten fired anyways if he didnt have his outburst bc his reaction to being pulled into HR was to try to double down#i dont know how that man ever held a job before if thats how he acted ngl-#(i know i reported him twice in one week for called my manager a bitch)#(like.... you're not wrong about her per se- but you just dont say that shit outloud)#(TWICE. IN ONE AND A HALF WEEKS.)
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allan is so loyal to his job its a little scary
#GOOD EPISODE#sorry youll find i have nothing to say if im not actively freaking out about sometbjng#that’s just how i am . it was extremely good i will be rewatching this one a lot i think#well . more than usual . ive rewatched ep 2 like at least 8 times and i couldnt even tell you for the first ep#i tjink my favourite moment . apart from that entire scene from dj spit running off with the paper clips to the helicopter crashing#was when the dude who gave them to allan just casually revealed that he died after he left and he was an actual ghost#and also the entire tiny mr boss scene at the end but. ive already kinda seen that in a promo so doesn’t count the same#ALSO MORE OF CHARLIE AND PIM GETTING ALONG WAY TOO WELL WITH EACHOTHER#WHATS HAPPENING HERE!!!#somehow them adding a little bit of context to why charlie kissed pim made it even better#like he really just did that.. because he was excited to do a job with him… Hes so cute#ok last thing . pim in a suit again 😁😁😁😁 in the ep 4 promo 😁😁😁😁😇😇😇😇#And him being like concerned for charlie 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇#smiling friends spoilers
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I work ok tje 17th Let me put let me out. Let me oouuuutttttt
#probBly the 18th as well but i dont actually know yet#but the 17th here will be the acgual time of chiak day..#Aell its okay bc i dont care bc i dont like him. So.#i liued imnsorry. i like gim#in other news: tomorrow i think is officiappy one year aince i started workijg my cirrent job so#im going to count my tip jar.. to see.. one full uear#last time.i cojnted ghere was 100 something hut that was a frw momths ago now#i dont rmbr exactly when..#but yaaaaay. counting. yaaaay#moneyyyy#also ghe csndle jar thing i have it ik is getting cramped and messy#bc i havent counged it in a while.so.i uavent Taken all.of.itput in a while so tjeres lile#a neat circle in ghe middle.and them i jusg stuck stuff after around it and it barely all fits#i need go invest in a second empty candle#Or actually d9 something with the money. <- not going to.happen#the only time.ibe ever used anu of it was times.i ran out of singles for bus fare#so id take one ftom thefe#That reminded me#Eafloer.i was tjinking like#itd be soooo much easier to get bus fare if i had a car...#bc its always a hassle bc i habe to wapk to tje bank and Dude the bank is never fuckint open#Aas a kid ur like oooohh the bank so.importsnt and adult..#and theyre open lile 20 minuyes a day. If this place is so damn importsnt why is it closed all ghe time#Nyways my point. i tjought that and then was like#.....If i had a car i woidpnt need bus fare at all bc i wouldnt have to take the bus#anyways th e bank is so annoying#closes at 5 on weekdays and i get home after 4 most days i work#and i also jist. dont geel like doing errands after worming all day#and Closed complefslu on sunday#and open from 9 am to noon on saturday like the fuck
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have you played the newest loz game?? your fics for the series are my favourite ever
so here's the deal. i bought totk the day it released. i got it. i started playing it but then we went on our long awaited planned it for 3 years 1 week vacation and less then 48 hours after i'd returned from that BAM, i was in australia. and what was there to do now? we played taiko, dog, so much taiko, we lived together, 3 college kids in an apartment with a balcony with a view of the city skyline. it was the craziest thing i'd ever done. i loved and cried and fought and learned and grew and got so mf good at taiko and learned that there was still more to do and cooked and cut onions and ate obscene amounts of yogurt and then when it was over it was already august and we were standing at the airport sobbing into each other's shirts not wanting to let go but eventually we did we got on our planes home and then, only then, did i find the space in my heart and schedule and hands to play totk. three weeks later, i was in america
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the real problem at the heart of this affair is that i still haven't found my motherfucking glider. where the fuck is it. i've combed the map north to south east to west i've found every goddamn character in the game but purah. purah you selfish selfish lady. where are you? where are you??????
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and so it was that they would not finish totk not for another several months not for possibly years. which is not to say that i don't want to, i miss writing fanfiction, i missed the drama and the scope of our ambitions and the burning need to write write write but i was also madly depressed and anxious and not doing well and that's where the writing came from, yknow dog? it existed because there was nothing else i could do. it saved my life. and now i am no longer in need of saving, now i've saved myself, i've been searching for years and years for the place where i can have my friends and lovers and stories and also have this. i still haven't found it. but i'll let you know when i do
#replies#it's a hard thing to juggle Life#you see. idk how the fuck people with jobs still hang out in fandom like that shit's wild to me#my farts are extra smelly today. i also go to one of those liberal arts schools where if you dont put in the work u actually do die#and i enjoy the work. and the taiko. god the taiko#guys i started playing taiko because of my ex and then i played more than her and got better and i love taiko so much#i want to do it for the rest of my life dude. that's where all my time went#instead of going home in the evening i go to the studio and we DON KON DOKO DON DOKONKO DOROTSUKU#and it's so good. i feel strong (will be stronger when i fix my health problems) and alive and good#and that's where the part of my heart i saved from writing fanfiction on the internet is right now i think#what can i say. it's fucking beautiful out here#im glad i wrote what i mustt admit is pretty damn good zelda fic. im glad im here right now#so it goes
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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8 year old me thinking I'll be sentenced to the Island Of Perpetual Tickling by god for doing something insignificant wrong
#8 year old me also believed that every single person ever had a full dialogue book in heaven#like huge 50 foot tall books that'd line these long golden brown hallways#and if you even THOUGHT a curse word it would be recorded and used against you at death#some of the veggietales stuff has haunted me#that damn tickler grim reaper and the like fig monster from the Batman parody#the fig monster literally traumatized me#man was gonna eat my crush i was Horrified#and then mf starts sucking on the ''batman'' dude like ??!?!#rewatched it with my therapist like last year for fun and that shit was weird lmao#but little me also thought that when you got ''fired'' from a job it meant they take you out back with all your coworkers#and they all stand around you while you're set on fire and they just watch you burn for a bit before going back to work#here have a random post from my drafts
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“So you would have answered?”
08 MEI, 2019 ● WOENSDAG, 12:21
#wtFOCK#Skam#Zoë Loockx#Senne De Smet#Zoenne#Veerle Dejaeger#Nathan Naenen#SkamverseDaily#SkamRemakesEdit#this is in my hall of 'have I dreamed this clip does it really exist#why every word they’re saying is exactly something I’ve always dreamed they’d say to each other'#the dialogue here ???#‘You were gone so suddenly’#‘You could have said goodbye’#and first she seems to be kinda upset that he wasn’t awake when she left his place but maybe I’m reaching#BUT THEN#she roasts him about being the biggest cliché while he was out there thinking he was doing something different from what he normally does#she’s like dude you had one job but she’s also STRAIGHT UP telling him she was WAITING FOR HIM TO TEXT HER 😩#one instant after she lies she hasn’t missed him#it's unmatched#he’s so unprepared for flirty! Zoë and I love him for that#he barely knows how to react to any of her moves <3#and that makes everything even more precious#there’s so much more to come in this single little clip god I love 2.03 with all my heart#s2#2x03#s2 2023
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Actually obsessed with my new coworker at the farm ajdkalsl
#not snz#apparently he's some sort of cook for a living#idk what he does i just know he works in a kitchen#but this isn't like a career move or anything for him#he's super secretive about his job for some reason?? like damn how bad is it lmao#he didn’t even tell us what he does i just managed to clock him#he's been here for like a week now and I've been going in extra days bc my boss is on vacation and someone needs to train him#kinda quiet the first couple days and didn’t really talk until you said something to him first unless he had a question#and then i said fuck like five times in the same sentence and now he talks a lot lmao#swearing like a sailor gang unite i guess#anyway i tried to hand him off to another coworker so i could go play vet for a few of our animals#but he wanted to come and i was like 😬#bc one of the animals has a nasty infected wound that needs hella care#and I'm the one who does it bc it makes everyone else sick and/or faint#and i go 'oh no it's okay i can do it it's kinda gross' and I'm telling him Why and everything#dude looks me in the face he's like 'i work in a kitchen'#I'm like bro respectfully i think this is a bit different from raw meat#and he proceeds to tell me that he watched someone cut part of their finger off???????#like wtf is going on in restaurants#so i was too floored by that response to say shit so he came with me#and to his credit he was very good with all the medical stuff like I'll give him that#he's just so deadpan about everything and it's so funny to me#also he can do a handstand for over a minute#like a few of us were sitting in the office vibing and trying to bond and he just drops that then did it like??#i know so much about this man and yet i know nothing about him#so yeah workhas been fun lately lmao
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I don't want to get off my phone I don't want to stay on my phone I don't want to pump gas I don't want to do deliveries I don't want to get ready for bed I don't want to write anything of substance I don't want to create I don't want to not create I don't want to be here I don't want to go anywhere I don't want to move I don't want to stay still my brain and body seem to simply want to sit here and Yearn
#is this like a shutdown i think we're having a shutdown#cuz like#we're not experiencing the pain of the overwhelm#but that's because we're dissociating really bad#like am i blitz are we blurry have we been in this parking lot for hours#why can't i just do anything but type#we're just sitting here numb and unmotivated#vent#i guess#tagging in case as always#idk man#“get a hobby” we have several#“get a life” we have. one but we have to share#“get a job” 2 jobs going on possibly 3 next month ok im starting to understand#we are indeed having to face a future and have no solid Plans yet#i thought getting our biggest worry out of the way now that my cat is w a trusted friend would help#but everything else is at the Forefront of our mind now whoops!!#ironically it would be better if we just. cane up w a plan#but noooo sensory overload from our own fucking chatter#allllll dayyyyyy#fuckkkkk#we're probably gonna go to bed lol i can try again tomorrow#we're ok just. we “shouldn't be” if that makes sense lol#if we're going to be a wreck i wish i could at least provess it#like it's worse than emotional denial i straight-up don't have access to said emotions rn#“don't underestimate my capacity to not wanna” type shit sjfhhshsh#oh also we need to eat dude come on#dont want to do that either but alas we need nutrients to live#at least we like living!#usually lmao also i did it (apparently) i reached 30 tags. thank u tumblr i love yapping
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