#but then immediately 'why should we pay people to work >:( i'm gonna make other countries work for me bc they're cheaper >:('

[pannman]

Yandere Vox X food Delivery trans masc walker reader

I'm guessing by "walker" you mean reader walks to deliver food. If not I apologize

Other Motives

Yandere Vox x trans masc food deliverer

Tw: yandere behavior, manipulation, mind control, violence, mild swearing

You didn't mind walking. Although it did present occasional dangers. You normally liked the physical activity and you liked the scenery. On the nicer parts of town of course

But one day you got a job to deliver to a not so nice part of town. Your employer could care less that you didn't have a vehicle and you needed this job to pay for your testosterone and to save up for your top and bottom surgery. So you grabbed some mace and decided to jog there

You're crappy shoes didn't make the jog very pleasant but you would rather not slow down in this area of town. Unfortunately your feet had other plans

You fell to the ground when your foot cramped up bad. You clenched your arch and grimaced. And you were practically pleading for the pain to go away so you could get away from this alley you had stopped in front of

Footsteps pulled your attention away and you saw three large sinners beginning to surround you

You silently and discreetly reached for your mace

"Well, well, well. Lookee what we have here. You're on our turf buddy" the biggest one said threateningly

"I'm sorry. I was just passing through. I'll leave immediately" you tried to talk your way out of the situation

"Nope. Nobody just walks right into our turf without a punishment. We're gonna teach you a lesson!!!" The man grabbed you by the collar and that's when sprayed him directly in the eyes

He screamed and clutched his face in pain but his buddies were quick to take over. One them kicked you in the gut and you fell over. Then the other kicked the mace out of your hand

"You're gonna pay for that asshole!" The biggest shouted still covering one of his eyes

"Gentlemen, gentlemen." A voice came from behind

"I'm sure this won't be necessary" he continued.

You turned and looked with the thugs about to beat you to a pulp to see a tall man in a blue suit with a bow tie and..... a TV for a head? Is that Vox? You wondered. He was one of the vees and possibly the richest most influential sinner in hell and a powerful overlord

"Vox?!?" One of the guys exclaimed

"Yes. And I do think it's rude for you to beat up one of my workers" he muttered while straightening his bow tie. He seemed so uninterested or was it his way of showing them he doesn't see them as a threat?

Though you were definitely NOT his worker you figured it out and played along

"Boss! I was bringing you your lunch when these guys attacked me!" You shifted the focus onto them and as you looked at them they had terror in their eyes

"S-sorry we-we didn't know he worked for you. We'll leave" they didn't wait for him to respond but immediately took off like cowards

You struggled to stand up until a hand outstretched to help you

You took Vox's hand and thanked him

Although you were curious why he helped you...

"You know you should get those injuries checked. If you come by the studio I can have someone take a look at that for you" he offered

"No thanks" you declined. "If I'm late for this delivery I won't have a job to come back to"

Vox had look in his eyes as if he was about say something but changed his mind

"Well I can have one of my drones deliver it for you and you don't have to tell a soul" he winked. He was being suspiciously nice

You knew most overlords were not the nicest people and you weren't sure it would be a good idea to trust him

"You wouldn't want to have run into any more trouble would you?" He smiled kind of deviously

He did have a point

Stay out here and risk getting attacked again or go with the guy who just saved you

Against your better judgment (or maybe it was cause you were tired, injured, and slightly terrified), you agreed to let him handle the delivery and go with him

Back at the studio, someone looked you over and patched you up. You relaxed. No longer feeling like you were in danger

"So why walk all the way through that neighborhood?" Vox asked as he shooed away his assistant leaving the two of you alone in his office

"I don't have a car" you responded

"And your boss was ok with that?" He questioned. His fingers tapping the desk in a rhythmic drum

"My boss doesn't care as long as he gets his money at the end of the day" you replied rather bluntly

"Well why don't you quit? Surely no job is worth risking your life?" He acted like that was reasonable and to be fair it was

You didn't know why but you decided to trust him with knowing more about your identity than most people

"I need the money for hormone therapy and surgery. I'm trans" you admitted in relief to finally tell someone. Though anxiety immediately followed

"Wow! I couldn't even tell. You pass very well" he said with last part almost sounding flirtatious but you figured you were just overthinking

"Thanks" you smiled at him. He seemed so nice. You didn't know if it was from exhaustion or if it was real but you felt yourself trusting him more and more in his presence

"You know," he said approaching you before sitting down next to you on the couch. "You could come work for me. I'll pay you better. Provide you with a vehicle and you will be much safer. There might even be some opportunity for advancement"

It all sounded too good to be true. Which you knew usually meant that it was. You were hesitant. "I'm... I'm not sure"

Suddenly when you looked in his eyes you thought for moment you saw them change. Then you started to relax and you started to question yourself. Why did you think he would trick you? He saved you! He's been nothing but nice

You felt your worries melt away as you continued to look in his eyes and you heard his voice. "You know this is what you want. Don't you wanna come work for me?" His voice feeling like it was merging with your thoughts

And this time you answered without hesitation

"Yes"

Let me know if you want part 2

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hello,

Is there any way you could translate Samatoki's newest solo, Rinka/Blue Flame? I've been looking for a translation everywhere, but cannot seem to find one.

Best regards and thank you very much.

Oh my God I am desperate slug-san, please please pleaaasee tell me you know where to find a translation of Samatoki's Rinka/Blue Flame!! OTL I was so surprised a translator wasn't already linked in the wiki which is where I usually look first & then I couldn't find anything by searching on twitter or google or tumblr and I just really wanna know what his song is about!! T°T I can't believe I found a translation of Honobono's song but not of Samatoki's song?? I must be doing sth wrong.. Help :')

Hey slug-san! A follow-up of the Rinka/Blue Flame message. I've searched some more, and I think there's actually no translation of it so far anywhere.. T~T Would you be willing to translate it? A standard/literal translation with a lil clean-up like you did with Akuma no Hana would be totally alright!! Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to engage with Hypmic in a way the official creators haven't made possible yet! :D <3

Sure. Under a cut for length.

I'm running at a speed faster than grief, going so fast I leave even the smallest bad feelings behind me. I spit on my dead-end future, spit in the dirty puddles. Now I'm clinging to the guardrail, tears tracing scribbled lines down my cheeks. I bet it looks pretty comical. C'mon, laugh at me, why don't you? Let's start somewhere around the unhappy ending. Why not? Works for me. The clear, blue sky waits for sunset; but to hell with that. I don't need that crap! Let's do whatever we damn well please, here in this vacant city. Just the thought of them makes me light up a cigarette. Look, I don't wanna tell people we gotta fight each other to get what we want. I just think we have to, because there's things out there that're worth keeping safe. There's a stray dog baying at the rain streaking down the glass, and that SOB won't shut up. Hey, fuck your umbrella. Who needs that kinda crap? Throw it away and let the rain drench you too. The beat's entrenched in my soul, a stupid requiem for this unfair world we live in, lying on its sickbed. C'mon, get in there and pay your respects to it. You don't have the time to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. You know lashing out's the answer, right? You'll be okay. And I'm not gonna tell you you're running from your responsibilities. So c'mon. Quit your sniveling and come ride with me. The brakes don't work; those emotions never get any slower. And we're burning ourselves out, but don't let that stop you from coming along with me for the ride. Ride with me through thick and thin. Ride with me all the way to the grave.

A few final notes:

Sunset is a metaphor for melancholy. When Samatoki rejects that in the third verse, he's rejecting sitting through his feelings of loss. He uses this image again later in the line I wrote as "sit around feeling sorry for yourself."

The gender and plurality of the "them" Samatoki thinks about isn't specified. While it's most likely referring to his family, the verse immediately afterward sounds like a direct reference to Ichirou and Samatoki battling to save their siblings in the TDD breakup.

"We're burning ourselves out" could also be written like "We're burning ourselves down to ash" which connects with the cigarette image.

Given the prevalence of stray dogs in hardboiled/yakuza fiction and their recurrence as an image in Samatoki's other raps, the stray dog should be understood to be Samatoki himself.

[chelseachilly]

THIS LOVE - epilogue | you come back to what you need

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 2.8k

summary: you and ben settle into life as a couple 🩵

A/N: as promised, the epilogue 🫶🏼 thank you for reading, and i'm going to be working on some oneshots now that this story is complete so stay tuned for more ben content! x

previous chapter | view all chapters

“You’re telling me I spent months cultivating your public image as a couple only for you to go become an actual couple?”

You hear Ben’s publicist Shreya’s voice coming through the phone, partly because he’s just put it on speaker and partly because you’re laying on top of him.

You’ve been mostly in this position for much of the past week. Ever since you and Ben confessed your feelings for one another, you’ve been pretty much inseparable - unless you’re at work or Ben’s at training, you’ve been holed up at his house ignoring the rest of the world. 

You didn’t make your first public appearance as a couple - a real one, that is - until yesterday, when you attended Ben’s game at the Bridge. They beat Bournemouth 4-0, with a goal and an assist from Ben in one of his best performances all season, and you couldn’t resist jumping into his arms and kissing him senseless when you met him on the pitch afterward. 

Naturally, the photos spread like wildfire over the internet, and although the public was already used to the idea of your relationship, your phone has been blowing up today with messages from your close friends and family who were in on the fake relationship but not yet aware of its newly real status.

You know you’re gonna have to call at least your parents at some point today to explain why there’s a photo of you and your best friend making out in The Sun - although you know they’ll be thrilled, since they already see Ben as an honorary son - but you haven’t responded to anyone yet. 

In fact, you haven’t done much of anything since you got home from the game last night - well, except your new boyfriend.

“Erm, yeah,” Ben chuckles, running his hand over your bare back in a repetitive motion as he talks to Shreya. 

He figured he at least owed an explanation, so he took his publicist’s call to catch her up to speed and let her know that he wouldn’t require her to bolster your appearance as a couple anymore. 

There’s a pause on the other end, and you have to stifle a giggle against Ben’s chest when you hear Shreya’s sigh of exasperation. 

“To be fair, it was the easiest job I ever had trying to convince people you were together, so perhaps I should have seen that one coming,” she says. “Well, good for you, Ben. You sound happy, and you were brilliant yesterday.”

“Thanks,” Ben grins, his eyes glued to yours. “I am very happy.”

Your heart thumps in your chest and your eyes tear up slightly at his earnest, lovestruck expression. You can’t resist shuffling even closer and pressing a kiss to his cheek, followed by one to his jaw, then a few more down his neck.

“Do you want to go over your GQ interview next week?” Shreya asks. “You know, the reason you pay me?”

You’re still distracting Ben with soft kisses to his neck that have made his eyes flutter shut and his focus drift.

“Sorry, I - uh, I’m gonna have to call you back, Shreya. Thanks again, cheers.”

Ben hangs up and tosses his phone to the side, immediately flipping you over and attacking your face and neck with little kisses until you’re giggling uncontrollably. 

“Ben,” you sigh as he’s sucking on your collarbone in a way that you know will leave a mark if you let him. “We should probably get ready.”

As wonderful and perfect as the past week has been, spending all your free time tangled in these very bed sheets and experiencing things you’ve never felt before, Harvey is hosting an event for his clothing brand later that you can’t miss. 

You’re not particularly eager to leave your little bubble of joy in Ben’s house, but you figure you owe it to one of the friends responsible for that happiness to turn up for him today. 

“I know,” Ben groans, his hand travelling low on your back and sending a shiver up your spine. “In fifteen minutes?”

“We’re already going to be late,” you point out, glancing at his watch. “It’ll take an hour to get there and I still don’t know what I’m wearing-“

“You’ll look amazing in anything,” Ben insists, leaving more kisses up your neck, “or nothing…”

“Ben,” you say with slightly more resolve, even though his lips are making it hard to think of anything else right now. “We can’t avoid all social plans forever. As much as I love being alone with you.”

Ben pulls back and you think you’ve finally got him to focus, but there’s a look in his eyes that you recognize all too well from your lifetime of knowing him. It’s the same look he has before a big game or in an argument - he isn’t going down without a fight.

“Please, baby,” he says in a soft whisper near your ear that he’s very quickly learned is one of your many weaknesses when it comes to him. “Ten minutes?”

The other thing about those big blue eyes that you know so well is that they just so happen to be one of your other greatest weaknesses, and when he smiles at you, you know you’re a lost cause. 

“Ten minutes,” you agree, grabbing his face and kissing him again before he can respond.

It’s actually closer to twenty-five by the time you actually roll out of bed, and another twenty when you realize you both need a shower and end up getting distracted once again, so you have to hurry to get ready.

One perk of dating your best friend is that you already have a closet full of clothes at his place, and you pick out a simple dark blue dress that you know looks good on you. As you’re finishing up your makeup, Ben walks into the bathroom freshly changed into a black t-shirt and jeans, and you don’t miss the way his eyes light up at the sight of you.

“You look absolutely gorgeous,” Ben murmurs as his eyes rake over your body in the mirror from behind you. “I’ve always loved this dress on you.”

“Thanks, Benji,” you say softly, putting down your makeup brush and smoothing out the wrinkles in your dress. You can’t help but blush a bit at the thought of Ben checking you out long before admitting how much he fancies you. “Are you ready?”

He doesn’t respond, instead just stepping closer and wrapping his arms around you from behind for a moment. Despite the time crunch, you relax into him and breathe a small sigh of contentment.

You can’t help but admire the sight of the two of you in the mirror, his face buried in your neck and inhaling your scent as you hold his hands that have settled on your stomach. 

“I still can’t believe I get to do this now,” he whispers, echoing the same feeling running through your soul. 

After unknowingly yearning for this for so long, maybe your whole life, it feels so right to finally fall into this simple intimacy with Ben. It feels like coming home. 

You turn in his arms, intending to lean in for a quick kiss before forcing the pair of you out the door, but you instead feel overcome by the sudden urge to wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face in his chest. He hugs you back without a word, pressing a few soft kisses to your hair.

“I love you,” he murmurs, his thumb rubbing circles on your spine. “I’ve never been this happy before.”

“I love you too,” you mumble against his chest before pulling back just enough to cup his face and see your whole world between your hands. “And neither have I. This week has been…perfect.” 

He nods in agreement, letting out a small sigh. “Are you worried it’s going to be weird when we leave our little bubble? I don’t think the game yesterday counts since we were basically apart until you pounced on me afterward.”

You slap his chest playfully and roll your eyes before shaking your head.

“It might be a bit of an adjustment, but not really. I mean, we’ve basically been doing this for months now in public.”

“Sure, but it was fake then,” Ben points out. 

“Yeah, but the feelings were there,” you say, your fingers running through his hair in a way that makes him smile sleepily. “Now I get to love you publicly and privately, and I can’t think of anything that could feel more right than that.”

Ben’s eyes light up before he closes them to dive in for a kiss, his soft lips lingering on yours for a few moments before he pulls away. 

“You’re right, love,” he says. “Now, we should probably go, because the longer I look at you in that dress the more I wanna take it off.”

You smirk and pat his cheek before walking away, knowingly giving him a great view of your arse on the way out. 

-

An hour later, after singing loudly to the pop songs on the radio and laughing so hard your ribs hurt the entire drive to Soho, you and Ben are standing in the crowded restaurant where the launch of Harvey’s new fashion line is being celebrated. 

A bunch of your friends are here, all of whom are enjoying this opportunity to tease you - with love, of course. 

Tom caught you stealing a few kisses in the corner of the room less than five minutes after your arrival, so you probably deserve the teasing. Plus, you’re so happy that you don’t care. 

After circling the room a bit and congratulating Harvey, you’re now chatting with Anish and his girlfriend Hannah in a booth. You have lots of room, but you’re still pressed to Ben’s side, his arm around your shoulders. 

As he and Anish chat about the clothing line, you’re content to just listen to Ben’s voice and enjoy the warmth of his body against yours. You occasionally press a kiss to his jaw and he’ll stop talking for a moment and smile at you, which makes you want to do it again. 

After a while, Hannah suggests going to get another drink, and the boys nod in agreement.

“I have to use the loo, can you grab me something?” you ask Ben, and he nods and pecks your lips quickly before heading over to the bar.

After using the washroom, you’re eagerly making your way back through the room to find your boyfriend when you bump into a familiar figure.

“Ryan?”

Ryan, the well-dressed man standing before you, just so happens to be your ex. You went out for a few months two years ago before ending things fairly mutually and amicably.

You’re surprised to see him for a moment, but he does work in the fashion industry, so it makes sense that he would be here.

“Y/N, wow, it’s been ages,” Ryan says, giving you a quick hug. “How are you?”

“I’m good, still working at the hospital,” you say with a smile. “Are you still at the magazine?”

“No, I actually moved to Paris, just in town for the week visiting some friends,” he explains. 

“Wow, Paris!” you remark. “That’s amazing. Do you like it there? Are you seeing anyone?”

“Of course I like it, it’s Paris,” he chuckles. “And yeah, I just moved in with my girlfriend Claire. You?”

As if on cue, Ben comes up beside you and presses a kiss to your cheek before passing you a gin and tonic, your favourite, with a water for himself in his other hand.

“Here you go, babe - oh,” Ben’s face falls slightly when he sees who you’re talking to. He was never a fan of Ryan, often calling him pretentious or making fun of how artsy he was, though looking back now that may have just been jealousy. “Ryan.”

“Well, that answers that question,” Ryan says with a small smirk. “I have to say, I’m glad you two finally got your shit together.”

“What?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

“I mean, it was painfully obvious you were in love with him back when we were dating,” he elaborates. “You never stopped talking about him and you saw him more than you saw me.”

You can’t help but blush a bit when Ben looks at you with a slightly raised eyebrow, despite the fact that you’ve literally spent the last week demonstrating exactly how in love with him you are.

“I think you might be exaggerating-“

“I seem to recall you cancelling a date more than once because Ben had a ‘bad game’ and you needed to go round his and cheer him up?” Ryan laughs. “I hated football before that, but it really solidified the hatred.”

Although part of you wants to laugh, cry, or scream at yourself for being so blind to your feelings for Ben, you do also feel a tinge of guilt for dragging guys like Ryan along before you figured things out.

“Sorry about that,” you say, leaning into Ben’s arm that is wrapped protectively around your waist. “It took me a while to realize what was always right in front of me.”

“No worries, it worked out for the best, yeah?” Ryan says, raising his beer to you and Ben. “I’ll see you around, cheers guys.”

As Ryan walks away with a smile on his face and Ben pulls you closer and presses a kiss to your temple, your guilt is replaced by a warmth settling into your chest - everything really did work out. All the wrong turns and detours along the way just led you back to where you always belonged. To Ben.

“So, you never stopped talking about me, huh?” Ben says after a moment, and you can hear the smirk in his voice before you turn to look at him.

“Oh my god,” you roll your eyes, playfully pushing him away and shaking your head. “I literally confessed my undying love for you less than a week ago, you arse.”

Ben just continues to smile at you, setting down his glass so he can wrap his arms around your waist. 

“You’re cute when you’re obsessed with me,” he murmurs, his thumb stroking your hip just enough to drive you crazy. 

“And you’re cute when you’re jealous,” you retort, smirking slightly. “He has a girlfriend in Paris, just so you know.”

“I was not jealous,” Ben insists with furrowed brows. “How can I be jealous when my girl is soooo in love with me-“

You shut him up with a kiss, partly to get him to stop talking and partly because you are in love with him and hearing him call you his girl has reduced your brain to mush. 

You don’t know if this will ever stop - you doubt it - but every nerve in your body is electrified as he kisses you slowly, pouring every bit of love and desire he feels for you into the kiss. It’s not the most passionate one you’ve shared so far, being that you’re surrounded by people, but it’s soft and sweet and more than enough to make your knees go weak and your thoughts blur.

“Ben,” you mumble against his lips, forcing yourself to pull back. “We can’t make out in the middle of Harvey’s work event.”

A small pout forms on Ben’s face, which is so adorable that you have no choice but to peck his lips once more.

“How about my car then?” Ben suggests, a mischievous glint in his eye. 

“Ah, is that why you insisted on taking the Range instead of your flashy new sports car?” 

He nods, gesturing to the car park just outside. “Lots of room in there.”

As much as you don’t want it to work, the thought of what Ben is capable of doing to you in the backseat of his obnoxiously big car is too tantalizing to resist.

You glance around the room to make sure none of your friends are watching before nodding. “You get ten minutes, Benjamin.”

“We’ll see about that,” he grins, grabbing your hand and beginning to drag you toward the exit as you try to contain your lovesick giggles.

As you climb into his car and then into his lap, exchanging messy kisses that are interrupted by your smiles, you can’t believe it took you so long to get to this point. Sure, it’s still kind of terrifying to jump headfirst into a relationship with the person who has been your person since you were kids, but it’s also thrilling.

It’s the beginning of the rest of your life with your best friend, and you have a feeling it’s going to be a very happy one. 

a/n: please let me know what you thought! i hope you all liked the ending :) tag list: @captainwans @amandaaa1025 @bbygrlllllll @ncentic @lunamelona @kathb59 @cinderellawithashoe @batmansb1tch @myheartgoesvroom @chillymountsjess @babygirlbenji @delicateearthquakellama @joyfullyswimmingface @xxenia14 @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @chilwellspulisic @maraudersmap123 @evelinapurmale @freekoalakryptonite

[yuri-is-online]

Damn I'm really like the storyline of this game.But FUCK Leo,if I ever get a chance to smacked the shit out of him, please Chancellor one chance.He fucked with the Mc head, how Alan and Thoma didn't kick him out that car if beyond me, there better than me honestly.Sho isn't much better because he's going along just because he's isn't mean.

Just because there isn't cruelty that doesn't mean kindness.But he's the lesser evil.Makes me sad for Alan.

Let's talk about Lucas I wonder if the soul system is like JJK,like if your twins you share the same soul and that's why the demon took his brother.

Also which character did you pick for your first

-🤡

I picked Thoma first, but I didn't take screenshots of the opening. Probably gonna use my emulator to take a crack at screencapping all of the boys intros because I am insane and want to pick it apart for lore research.

Twins sharing the same soul/being seen as the same person is very common in Japanese folklore if I understand correctly? But that might just be me overthinking the plot of Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly. So yes that's my assumption too, the demon likely took Luca's brother in his place since they technically share a soul.

Now. Let's talk about Leo. The main reason Alan and Thoma didn't immediately kick him out of the car was to not make a scene. Thoma specifically seems to respect the opportunistic sort, and thinks that Leo shows promise if he shapes up. He's skilled with tech, good at reading people, quick on his feet, all of those things are arguably good traits that Vagastrom, and Alan, could really use! Besides it's not like he has enough on either of them to get in their way yet, best to play it cool and walk away with the upper hand. Another thing we learn from this conversation that might be easy to miss is that unlike Twisted Wonderland where each dorm has rules about who should be the leader, Darwick's Administration picks the Captain and Vice Captain of the dorm, and grades seem to be more important to them than say. Whether or not the person has a good character, as we have seen from both Thoma and Leo, is significantly less important.

But if there is one thing I sort of have to point out that I think Alan gets and tries to call him out on, Leo is incredibly short sighted. He sees MC's power as worthless not because it doesn't work but because he already used it and got what he wants from it. He doesn't see anyone other than himself, and maybe Sho, as a person so he doesn't feel any guilt about using MC to get what he wants and then trying to get her kicked out of the school. He's also the only bitch in this house that completely ignores that MC can't leave, he doesn't mention her curse once when talking about her and honestly I don't think he was paying attention enough to remember that she can't leave because of that. Allan makes a point at the end of the Vagastrom book that I really hope is followed up on:

I sort of read this as applying to his friendship with Sho and his own reputation. Sure, it's all fun and games now while he snatches up the Vice Captain role and still has Sho doing his bidding, but well. Sho does occasionally do what he wants, he didn't go along with Leo's plan, not completely. He didn't outright lie about MC's power, and he hates how Leo keeps asking about why the ghouls made their wish on a demon. He thinks it's wrong, he hates it. Leo's treatment of MC did bother him, and I know he doesn't want MC to die. I don't know how far you or anyone else has made it, but something happens in Book 3 that makes it seem like MC has gone missing, and according to Hyde all of the Frostheim, "and one or two" of the Vagastrom ghouls have to be talked out of going to look for her.

As of right now Leo's only real ally is Sho. If Sho gets fed up with him and stops covering his ass, then Leo has no one, and I don't think that's occurred to him since according to Sho's bio they've been friends since long before Darkwick. Anyway I hope they get divorced and Sho gets to keep his food truck. Like I said, we can run Leo over with it for the insurance money.

Have some Side Notes:

The ring of Solomon, or the ring of wisdom, granted Solomon the power to make demons do his bidding in the original myth. Since ghouls powers come from demons, in some way, shape, or form, my theory is that the ring is likely enhancing the demonic part of them.

The "like doves" supposedly appear when someone is thinking of you positively/likes you. The first people to make these doves appear around MC are Luka and Kaito. The second is Sho, which is honestly why I am a bit softer on him then I should be. The third time it shows up is at the end of Jabberwock's book with all three dorm members present, meaning literally the only bitch in this house who does not respect MC is fucking Leo that dick-

while it isn't specified, Professor Dante appears to be the advisor for both Frostheim and Vagastrom, something I think is more or less confirmed by Hyde being in charge of both Jabberwock and Sinostra. Anyway the point I want to make is that we are missing a dorm if we follow the rule of each advisor being in charge of two, and no I don't mean the two missing characters from Obscuary I mean a whole dorm that seems to have specialized in exorcisms (perhaps of curses 👀):

My personal theory is that their dorm used to be in the Cathedral we are staying in and that it was destroyed during "the Clash" that's been alluded to in the first part of the story, we don't know much about it other than 1) it was between ghouls, perhaps exclusively 2) there is a spy of some sort Thoma and Alan are looking for that might have had something to do with it and 3) a Frostheim student behaved very badly during the Clash to the point Thoma seems to think they should take some responsibility for it. But that's just my speculation, don't know how much of it's real.

[miguel-manbemel]

I've been in the Thomas Sanders fandom for almost nine years now. That means I was there way before Sanders Sides, and that at this point I'll remain following him way after Sanders Sides is over. That doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else, but I think that that gives me a little bit of right to speak my opinion, and I'm gonna do it, because I've been holding it back for far too long when I've seen so much bullshit all around, especially on Tumblr, and I can't help it anymore. I need to speak and I'm gonna speak, no matter who likes what I say and no matter who's bothered by what I say.

Sanders Sides started in October 2016, but it didn't get truly big until 2017. And 2017 was "Fander year", it was the year Thomas was most prolific and released the highest amount of work: the bulk of season 1 and a big chunk of season 2 of Sanders Sides, and to that we have to add the first episode of Cartoon Therapy, the last few Vines before it was shut down and a production of shorts comparable of his big years on Vine, and to that we add the vlogs, the music, his big projects like Bizardvaark, etc. And back then at the beginning it was Thomas alone, Joan and Talyn joined around February, March, and it was only the three of them the rest of the year and part of 2018. They worked their asses off for these months, to the point that all the three of them with no exception ended up getting sick. Joan even had to go through hospital and Talyn was eventually forced to retire altogether because of the complications stress caused in his Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Not to mention that Thomas and the others spent literal sleepless nights editing Sanders Sides, the record being 36 consecutive hours of editing without sleep so that he could release a Sanders Sides episode faster (I think it was Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning). I don't know if some people here know it, but Thomas has confessed to be a little bit workaholic, and we all know he's a perfectionist in his work, he will only release what he considers is the best for him when it's ready, nothing more nothing less.

There's people that, sure, have praised Thomas beyond what is considered healthy and that have been assholes with other people who had constructive criticisms (and not all criticism has been constructive), but certainly, specially on Tumblr, there's people who don't know the meaning of the word "fair judgment" and vent all their personal frustrations onto Thomas like he was responsible of all evils in the world. If excessive positivity is toxic, excessive negativity is toxic too, and also damaging, not to mention potencially a crime of libel if they go too far and start damaging his reputation and good name with lies. I'm still seeing people talking about the animator thing like they know first person what happened, saying happily that Thomas "didn't pay the animators", like it was something true and a fact. The animators did not even get to a unified unique conclusion about anything. Some of the animators got mad and left the fandom immediately, others stayed to literally bitch around and criticize (and some caused more harm in the process than anything they were accusing Thomas and team of doing)... while other animators remain in good terms with Thomas and still follow him with the same passion, and also there are animators that called out other animators for their toxicity while the work was in progress. It's time to set things clear: the animators were paid what they signed in their contracts, they said that and they recognized that without exception. It was their own responsibility to read such contracts and investigate the internet and what is considered a good amount of payment, they should have done that beforehand and not sign if they didn't agree, because once they signed, they're bound and they have no right to complain because they agreed to that salary and it looked okay for them before signing, otherwise they wouldn't have, that's something even some animators said. So please, stop using that to spread hatred on Thomas. Not even the whole bunch of the animators supports you on this, and clearly if you weren't there you have no word to say. Officially, a portion of the animators spoke to the team, and ammended things privately, that was what was published and that is where it should have ended five years ago. So the rest of the world should just shut up about it. This is not and should not be treated as a reality show because it has nothing public at all. This is something private between the animators and the team, and third persons should not use it as an excuse to spread hoaxes and hatred against the team. Stop it already and mind your own business.

That was one thing I wanted to let out, but the other thing is about the people complaining, and complaining, and complaining about how they don't get the content THEY want faster. I'm talking about those who think Thomas should do Sanders Sides and nothing else, because "it's what Patrons pay for", "it's his biggest source of income", "blah, blah, blah"... I am a Patron, and I know what I signed for when I joined Patron: "more content, more frequently", nowhere in that sentence it is mentioned it would be Sanders Sides only, or even mainly and if anyone read that it's something they assumed on their own, not the reality and certainly not binding. We've gone through a drought of content because there was a pandemic, in case anyone didn't notice. But he's releasing more content now, in all platforms, so he's commiting to his promise about Patreon. My money is well spent and I won't let anyone say otherwise. Please, kindly refrain to speak in my name as a Patron, thank you. If any other feels differently and is on Patreon, he's always free to unsubscribe when he wants, but don't repeat the lie that you "subscribed because he promised more Sanders Sides more frequently", because that's literally a falsehood. And speaking about Patreon and the "writer's tier", I don't know what you think the writer's room is about. The team only gives the writer light suggestions about what jokes could work well or things that could be featured specifically as ideas for the script, they don't get any power of decission in the plot and they don't even get to know the plot at all because the questions are vague. Don't give so much importance to the writer's room, because i's nothing of the other world, despite some people trying to make it a bigger issue than it is, usually people who are not even in the writer's room and therefore don't know what they're talking about, as usual. About the "Sanders Sides being his biggest source of income and therefore, he should stick to that"... well, sorry to break it to you, but have you been around his TikTok recently? He has recently released a Storytime short and a Misleading Compliment short, and the audience went literally crazy, and the new sketch videos are working like charm. Sanders Sides might be a huge success of his, but his short videos (the 10 seconds long and the 4 minutes long) are, and will always be, his biggest source of fame, they've always been since Vine. Remember, he has 10 million followers on TikTok, almost triple his YouTube follower count. And from these 10 million followers, not so many even know what Sanders Sides is because they didn't follow him on YouTube. You have to deal with the fact that Thomas could cancel Sanders Sides today, and he'd still have a very decent lifelihood thanks to the short videos. He makes Sanders Sides because he wants to and because it's a personal project of his. It's you who's in desperate need of Sanders Sides, not him, stop projecting.

Where am I going with this? It is okay to dislike Thomas, no one forces you to like him, and it's okay if his type of humor is not for you anymore. But you are not the center of the universe. There are still millions of people who enjoy what he makes whatever it is, and Thomas is not there to give you the content you want all the time like a video-making-machine. He's not going back to 2017-2018 when he literally destroyed his health with too much work. I know a lot of Fanders joined the fandom at that time, got used to that rythm of releases and miss it, but that time is not coming back, because above else, Thomas and his team are human beings, not slaves at your service and their mental an physical health is more important than your need for entertainment. If you can't accept that, you should seriously consider moving forward to other forms of entertainment that are more of your liking. And moving forward means moving forward completely, not going back and forth publishing insulting or condescending posts against Thomas and his team that are not gonna help you get content faster. Just because you are an "addict" to Sanders Sides (if you were just "invested", you wouldn't get to some extents I've seen some people get to) and didn't get served your daily dose of hyperfixation, that gives you no right to bitch around against the creators. It's your responsiblity to look for your own sources of entertainment wherever you can find them, but you have no right to demand anyone to make anything for you, because this is internet, not an a la carte restaurant. You have plenty of content created by hundreds of content creators anywhere, just choose it and consume it. But don't forget it's content creators who decide what, where and when they create anything, not the audience. The right of the audience is to like whatever or not, to follow whoever or not. It's not your business how he runs his business or his working schedules, because that's private. You only have a right to consume the final product, not to control every step of the production, and it's time some people start remembering this and pump the brakes with their attitude.

[asficdiary]

All That's Left || FA¹⁴ / LN⁴ || Chapter 6

Right Where You Left Me - Taylor Swift

⏲ Lando Norris ⏲

Watching her walk away tugged at my heart strings, I had no right to feel like this. I know that but It didn't change the fact I did. I shake my head and walk into the hospitality. Ria and Max Immediately came to my side. Trying to make me feel better about Max winning the championship. "Thanks guys but it's fine" I told them with hugs.

"Let's go out, have a few drinks tonight?" Max says. "Just to relax," Ria adds.

An idea comes to my mind. "Yeah, that's perfect. I know just the place" I tell them before I get rushed by my assistant to do more media.

It was a fool proof plan. If we went to the bar where we met, she'd be there working. That way if she has some time to join us, I'm there. I'd be lying if I say that I didn't hope she would realize that I don't mind the life she has and that I wanted to be a part of it.

When the time finally came to go home we all went back to the hotel to get ready. I wore a black sweater and dark blue jeans. I added black sneakers and hoped it looked good. Hoped she would approve of it.

When we got to the bar, we were let right in because of me, being a famous F1 Driver had its perks. At first I didn't see her. She had to be here right? She said Josh, that was the bartender's name here. I heard it that night we bumped into each other. Max guided us to an open booth and sat down. They started talking about what they wanted to drink and Max offered to go get them. I told him it was fine and that I would instead. Maybe she was in the sea of people and I'd bump into her.

As I started walking towards the bar my mind started fighting itself. Why was I so hung up on her? Why was I acting so out of character for her? What was it about her that made me like this? Was it dramatic to say it made me hate myself? Probably.

I pushed through the crowd of people, some shouting annoyed words at me. I don't pay them mind as I continue on with my mission. I spot the mess of pink hair behind the counter and move faster. A smile immediately pulls onto my face. As I break through the huddle of people my heart and smile drop. I watch as she picks up a 6 pack of Stella Artois and grabs Fernando's hand, pulling him into the back.

Josh's eyes land on me and he smiles. "Hey, Man. What can I get for you? I can get Soliel if you are here for her?" He asks obviously trying to be nice. "Though she might be a bit preoccupied, if you know what I mean" He laughs and my stomach churns because yes, I do know what he means. And with who.

I'm gonna be sick. Fuck, I should have known. God, what was I thinking? Showing up unannounced? Thinking maybe she felt the same? Thinking she could possibly like me back? I was pathetic, what was wrong with me?

I feel as my dinner starts to make its way up my throat and I bolt. I push through people trying to get to the door. I bump into the bouncer as I burst out the doors. I send him an apologetic hand before I lean against the wall and throw up. The rice and chicken I had for dinner exits me and I breath standing up. I wipe my mouth on the sleeve of my sweater. And stand up. I turn around, my body weak, and the long line of people waiting to get into the club are watching me. Some with their phones out. Fucken hell, Lando.

Rea and Max walk out the bar with concerned faces. "Lando, Rea said she saw you run out-" Max's words fall as his eyes look from me to the fluid on the floor. "Okay let's get you home" Rea says, jumping into action and ushering me towards the car we had driven here. Max looks around before he says something to the bouncer. He then walks back over to the car.

When we get back to the hotel Rea basically mothers me, putting me to bed. She makes sure I have a few sips of water before her and Max leave my room. The minute the door closes I break down, everything hitting me at once.

Her and Fernando, The championship, The loneliness. Everything just feels so heavy.

[chim-chim1310]

I'm not a jungkook anti. But I'm a hardcore jimin stan i wouldn't tolerate all this sabotage.

All these are my opinions as a fan. You can have your own opinion but don't tell me what to feel.

Yesterday some hashtags were trending against jungkook and hybe. And armies were going bonkers.

I think the hashtags against the company are well deserved. I would even say, f*cking destroy bangpd. I hate him with every bone of my body. You have no idea.

When jimin was accused of all this during face it was a completely different situation. Because jimin didn't get any of that shit and people were still shitting on him like always. Whereas jungkook DID get everything that goes against bts morals and I don't think this should be ignored or taken lightly.

If jimin actually got even half of what jungkook got, armies would have teared him apart. They still are so insecure because they know jimin have the potential to go beyond the group. Even hybe is scared about that. That's why the moment jimin achieved #1 on billboard Hot100, they immediately started working on seven for jungkook.

They planned the #1 for jungkook but poor them, jimin ruined their plans. That's why they were so bitter to jimin.

Yeah I used to ship jikook. In fact I still ship them sometimes. But for me it's mostly for fun. Jimin has always been more important to me than the ship. And I won't let a ship, that's not even confirmed, cloud my judgement against everything bad that is happening to jimin.

During face it was like the whole universe was working against him and now suddenly everything is working for jungkook during seven? Literally paying to make him succeed. How pathetic. Didn't they even have a little bit of trust in jungkook? Or did they believe that jungkook would never be able to surpass jimin organically?

Honestly if jungkook didn't get all this special treatment and still his song did so well. Then I would've been so happy for him. Because he would've done that on his own merit with his own hardwork not by money or company push and fraud. But everything that he's getting for that mediocre ass song is so f*cking unfair when an amazing song like 'Like crazy' didn't get even half of it.

I'm not saying that jimin should get all this too. But what I'm saying is if no other member got it, jungkook shouldn't have it too. If every other member's success was organic then jungkook's should've been too.

If jungkook did all this on his own merit and hardwork without paying or without the western push then we wouldn't even be arguing about it and just praise jungkook.

I'm sorry but I can't take him seriously when he's not given me one reason to do so. Where is his artistry? Wasn't he supposed to be the golden maknae? Why is he the only one who needs thousands of people and all those fraudulent things to make himself successful? Doesn't he trust himself even a little? Doesn't hybe trust him to have an organic success?

Now I'm not saying that you should hate jungkook and trend hashtags. But at least hold him accountable when he's wrong.

He's not a fucking kid. He's not a rookie. He's been in this industry for ten f*cking years so don't come and tell me he doesn't know what's going on. He knows exactly how his song is gonna be promoted and still he agreed to it. It's not wrong to be ambitious. But he knows payola and everything else that bts stood against for, will be used to promote his songs and he still did it. If you think he doesn't know all this then you're either naive or just totally ignorant.

He ruined bts morals, he ruined it by using all this and I think he should be held accountable for this. If it was jimin all the armies must've been barking by now. Because it's always easy for them to hate jimin. Because jimin is their punching bag when he's the sweetest person ever. He doesn't deserve this.

During face literally every kpop stan on this planet got together to hate on jimin. Using SA, r*pe jokes and what not. Why is it that whenever jimin is involved these haters go straight to r*pe jokes? Do they realize how sensitive that matter is? I can't even imagine jimin reading these types of tweets. I hope to God he doesn't.

Anyways what I'm saying is that armies are a f*cking bunch of hypocrites. Just because it's jungkook, the fandom fav, who everyone token stans it's not a problem. But if it was jimin he would be accused of sleeping with bandpd and 🛴.

Whenever pjm calls armies out that they're not defending jimin. Armies are like 'Oh I usually don't see such hate on my timeline' and 'Oh I think we should ignore it.' But when it's the fandom fav, jk and tae then suddenly they see everything on their timeline and suddenly things shouldn't be ignored.

Like when I was listening to seven and when it ended I just sat there and wondered 'This is the song they were hyping so much? Is this what they invested in? '

Like it's just some random a*s song. It feels like we've heard such types of songs multiple times from multiple artist. Literally there's nothing iconic about this song and it's average at it's best and 🛴 was hyping this?!!

It's funny to me because they really sat in the studio heard that song and were like yeah... "This is the iconic song of the year" I mean give me a f*'king break. Every success of this song will be because they paid their way through it.

And they really preferred to invest in THIS song instead of the gem 'Like crazy'. Like even comparing this mediocre song to like crazy sounds like disrespect. I thought jungkook was talented and artistic but seriously dude? What is this? 'Monday, tuesday, Wednesday....' Like you liked this? MV was the only tolerable thing about this single.

I mean if they so badly wanted to invest in Jungkook at least would've given him a good song. But then if they actually gave him a good song they wouldn't have to pay for it to succeed.

Like jungkook is going against everything bts stood for and armies are ignoring it just because it's jungkook when they would've been dragging jimin to filth if it was him and I don't even want to imagine the SA insults they would've been pulling over jimin.

Like jimin worked his ass off for f*cking 10 months!!! And like crazy got 9 days promo and got treated like shit and sabotaged by his own company because they didn't want jimin to be more successful than jungkook. B*tch if jimin was successful then YOU were the ones who would've been profited. He's literally your artist too. Idiots.

But jungkook literally just lounged on his couch, drinking, sleeping on live and suddenly after watching jimin's success he decided to take the song hybe gave him on a silver platter, agreed even after knowing the way it would be promoted.

He blatantly copied jimin's concept photos, during performance he literally looked like another jimin, copying his styles, outfits, hairstyle even. And now he's even copied some steps from like crazy choreo. Like wow. Looks like an obsession to me. I mean I used to find jk copying jimin funny but God it's not funny anymore. Doesn't jungkook have a personality of his own? Why did he just blatantly copy Jimin. Like come on no one can deny the eerie similarities. What I don't understand is why. Why is he doing this? Was this always like this? Did he always copy jimin to this extent? Idk.

Face was a masterpiece. Jimin poured his heart out in that album. It was personal to him and it was amazing. Like actually pleasant to hear. But now a mediocre song with trash lyrics got everything that it never deserved. Like this is total fraud dude.

I already hated the company. But jungkook? What is wrong with you man? Doesn't he himself have a conscience? Doesn't he feel like every member had their achievements without these fraudulent methods? Doesn't he see jimin and think that jimin got that #1 on billboard hot100 despite the sabotage and no company push? Wasn't he like I should achieve this on my merit too.

He wanted to get that western validation. It's not wrong. If he wants to be more popular than good there's nothing wrong with that. But then he should do it on his own f*cking merit and not by the company paying money for him to succeed. How disappointing seriously.

Just a few days ago armies were hating on jennie saying that she wants western validation just because she starred in Idol. And now they're radio silent when their own fav jungkook is the one seeking western validation even celebrating his success which is obviously not his own.

Like he didn't put his creativity in it at all. He listened to the song, gave his voice and learned a few dance steps. He didn't write the song, didn't participate in the making of the song except for giving his voice and for the concept photos he just recycled jimin's ideas from face era.

It's not unusual to not have written your own song and it's ok, not everyone have that talent, it's completely fine, but to praise jungkook as if he made the whole song. That's wrong. Also not to forget the way armies used to laugh at other groups because they didn't write their own songs. Hypocrite much?

What's wrong is wrong. People shouldn't hate on jungkook but at least hold him accountable because he knows real well what is going on and how he's being promoted. He went against bts' morals and he should be held accountable for that.

And the company should be held accountable for the blatant favouritism and for paying their way to the top. And for jimin's sabotage.

I'm a jimin stan and i won't tolerate all this. Armies are good for nothing. There's no strong hate towards the hyung line anyways. But in case of maknae line armies only come out when it is to defend their fave jk and tae. They ignore jimin's hate completely and even sometimes they themselves tweet something shady about him. But then use jimin's achievement to shove down other artists' throats.

I'm actually glad Jimin has a strong fanbase who are willing to go to lengths to support jimin. Jimin deserves this support from his fandom. Pjms are enraged since the sabotage started and it was inevitable that they would burst some day.

The more jimin is being sabotaged the more pjms are realizing that armies are good for nothing and jimin only has pjms. I'm glad pjm are there to protect him and fight for him. Jimin deserves a strong, devoted fan base. I love pjms for that.

This became too long but I just wanted to pour out my frustrations.

[supercantaloupe]

rambling from work (youth orchestra) tonight. ignore me

new part time assistant conductor/manager/violin coach at youth orchestra and it's my beloved violin friend from brahms violin concerto !! i was so delighted to see her i immediately threw my hands open for a hug when she walked into the rehearsal room to help set up before rehearsal tonight. it's good to have another pair of hands helping out since our other asst conductor, while he's wonderful at what he does, can't make every rehearsal all the time due to family commitments. on that note i told maestro that i have to take a required class next semester on wednesday afternoons that will prevent me from being able to get to youth orchestra rehearsals in time to set up before rehearsal starts...but we move. it's an unavoidable conflict (required course for my degree and the last one i need before i can be officially done) so the others will just have to pitch in more to help set up in my absence. i also mentioned that i may have to take a class on tuesday evenings which would overlap and conflict with orchestra rehearsals, but it turns out that won't even be an issue because la boheme in the spring is gonna be a reduced orchestration with only one oboe part so i wasn't even gonna be on the hook anyway. so continuing my current arrangement of attending one rehearsal a week (thurs only instead of thurs and tues outside of concert weeks) will work just fine next spring. while i'm slightly disappointed i won't get to play another opera it will undeniably be a weight off my shoulders in terms of scheduling stress, also now i get to actually watch it which will be fun. anyway maestro also introduced the new assistant/violin teacher to our org managing director by calling her a wonderful player and concertmistress (correct) she was like "you're being too nice" and maestro was like "i'm not being nice it's just true" LOL. i get it girl he talks about me the same way. actually when we were leaving the building tonight i ended up chatting with maestro in the parking lot a little about work and money. as great as the vienna trip looks on paper i'm kind of doubtful it will end up happening bc apparently the sign up numbers are kind of low and we can't run the trip if we don't get a big enough crowd. and i understand why, the price for the trip is...a lot. i don't remember exactly what the cost of the italy trip i went on in my youth orchestra days was but i would hazard to say this vienna trip is twice the price...yikes. maestro was telling me how even with all his different jobs he feels like everything has gotten so expensive what with inflation and taxes and everything that it's getting tough to keep up financially with everything. i don't even have a mortgage or kids but man i feel him. i said i'm just glad to have my fellowship, i'm getting two master's degrees for basically free (plus a modest living stipend which really doesn't cover living in this stupid city very well lol but i'm hustling). this youth orchestra managing gig, i'm grateful to have it, and the extra cash on the side is certainly appreciated, but i am not doing it for the money. apparently neither is maestro because he told me it's probably his worst paying gig despite it being the biggest and most well funded organization and performance venue...lol. but then he got to suggesting different people he knows (most of whom i also know albeit kind of poorly and tangentially) i should talk to re: work and also suggesting different positions i should look into once i'm done my degrees like librarian for [redacted local orchestra]. because what this current gig lacks in terms of payment, it is a huge boon to me in terms of experience and resume power...i mean i'm scarcely 24 and i have a managing job under my belt already. that's going to be huge for me once i start looking for full time work after grad school...hopefully. we'll see i guess. anyway maestro told me that i'm "amazing as always" and then went to his car to go home

[adambja]

Hi Adam

I don't know why I'm telling you this to be honest hehe,but as my fav blogger I want to ask you for advice.

So I discovered the law last two years and for 8 months I tried using subliminals each one month but no matter how hard I stuck to one subliminal it never gave me results.

Then last year I read motivation on loa and all in other bloggers post but I never manifested anything no matter how hard I tried,I tried to be the creator of my reality,I pretended to be living my dream life even though I was broke asf and my family was suffering,ppl called me stupid but I didn't care,even when I never got results I believed it would come soon,I literally kept convincing myself for a year,I worked so hard but nothing happened,I never Manifested anything,and then I heard about the void state,I didn't believed in it but then I saw success stories and I believed it immensely,I thought there's still hope for me,for months I suffered but I pushed through and tried to get into the void state every day and every night,I worked on my self concept,I applied the law in every way but then nothing happened and then my dad fell ill,I was worried and I kept affirming to manifest his health,I affirmed in tears and I was fed up.i wanted to pay you for a custom tape because I thought it might help me but then I had no cent on me,so I could only keep affirming and affirming but nothing happened and then my mum died,she couldn't keep up with all of these,I had no siblings so yeah,then the dad died too.but I still didn't give up I didn't want to but it's useless,right now when I see any blogger giving ppl motivation,it annoys the hell outta me,I know I might be wrong but the law never helped me so now I'm gonna be sent to an orphanage home tomorrow in which girls are constantly molested each time,I literally pass by and see guys trying to touch them and I don't wanna go there please I need your advice,I'm tired of all these you are the creator speeches it's annoying to be honest,I wouldn't say I didn't try enough because I did extremely well,my phone is the only thing supporting me right now pls I need you to tell me what to do,it was my dad's gift to me on Christmas,he worked so hard to buy me one.ive tried every method possible

Most of y'all think you've had it bad??? I've faced worse,I don't even have access to my own house because of my fucking family members y'all give up immediately you try something

I tried for over 2 years but I never got anywhere and I need help,I'm going insane,if there's anything you can do to help me please do if there isn't then it's okay

First of all

My name isn't Adam it's adambja baby it's A GIRL HERE AND THIS IS WHAT I CALL A TRAUMA DUMPING THAT'S it

I didn't read anything because I am about to sleep I am so tired but you are welcome to talk to me privately and we will see

I understand your frustration and all your feelings and all this anger about some bloggers here saying the same repeated things over and over!

It's not my responsibility either cause I am not even like them hopefully I helped a lot of people here!

But when you send me a message make sure you tell me about what you want from the tapes if you are gonna buy them BECAUSE I DON'T MAKE CUSTOM TAPES FOR FREE you gave me your whole life thing how would I even help you if you aren't paying me for your personalized tape or coaching!!!!

I CAN LITERALLY HELP YOU IN ONE MONTH WITHOUT ANY VOID SH IN YOUR NORMAL PHYSICAL REALITY I DID HELP A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAD THE WORST SITUATIONS YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE!

This is the issue here guys

This is MY ISSUE okay? Stop trauma dumping instead tell me WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN!!! NOT WHAT HAPPENED CAUSE IDGAF ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED I AM HERE TO MAKE YOUR NEW REALITY HAPPEN

Again the old story MUST BE DEAD!

Also baby you need tapes NOT TALK NOT WORDS YOU NEED TO REWIRE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

How SHOULD I MAKE THE OLD STORY DEAD, ADAMBJA?

Just tapes THAT'S WHY I AM MAKING TAPES WITH BENEFITS ITS BETTER IN MANY WAYS

And that's what I am originally a coach for!

[zerolune]

₊❏❜ ⋮ ⌒ Chapter 6 - horrors of the night

: ̗̀➛ Pairing : Anton × OC

Synopsis: When Seunghan, Wonmee, Anton and Gwen go for a movie, the horror movie isn't the only horror they face.

Warnings : swearing, a jerk guy.

Next, Masterlist

"Oh seriously cmon!! It's the last day of our promotions! It'll be fun!!" Wonmee exclaimed, encouraging Eunryung. "No way in hell am I paying to get heart attacks." The elder refused. "Please it isn't fun with just two people!" Wonmee urged once again.

"Yes, researches have proven that watching films with more people provides a better experience due to the adrenaline boost from the movie being balanced out by the endorphins released due to the presence of your friends." Gwen spoke almost robotically, explaining why Eunryung should join them.

"Wow-uh- you're not wrong now- but! Why me though? Why not Yuri or Miyoung?" Eunryung asked, diverting the target. "Miyoung is going for samgyeopsal with her siblings and Yuri has to choreograph for Taemin Sunbaenim." Gwen said again, very mechanically.

"What are you guys talking about?" Sungchan asked as the boys entered the practice room, pretty late. "We are trying to convince Eunryung to see the new Nun movie with us, on the last day of our promotions, would any of you like to join?" Wonmee offered.

"Horror no way, I'm out!" Wonbin and Sungchan explicitly stated. "Hmm sorry I have plans," Shotaro said. "Oh I can come! I love horror!" Seunghan said. "And based on the timings, I'm free!" Seunghan checked his phone for the show timings on some app.

"Great! So, you, me, Gwen and anyone else?" Wonmee looked around. "I have something with my family that night so probably not," Sohee pouted. "I have a meet up with friends," Eunseok said, checking some kind of calendar-schedule.

"Ah well, that's okay, three people should be fine," Seunghan grinned, going over to discuss the timings with the other two. Anton on the other hand, looked around, of course his hyungs knew that he hated anything to do with horror, and maybe the girls forgot about him (sorry Anton), but if Gwen was going- this was his chance.

"Oh I can go! It'll be great to see a horror movie!" He finally spoke up, his hyungs looking at him judgementally. Seunghan was about to say, "But don't you-" before he looked over to Gwen and a light bulb lit in his head. "Alright so four of us! Great!" The boy began walking over to Sungchan who was about to say something and immediately whispered to him, "Hyung, let the lover boy follow his heart-even if it stops during the movie." He then made Sungchan look towards Gwen.

"Ohh, I see," He laughed.

-

"Alright, soldiers, listen up, 9:30's the movie, so they gotta leave by 9:10, we have to make sure Anton looks his best, in precisely 58 minutes- we would have had a whole hour if Anton didn't argue that he was going to a HORROR movie just because he loves Gwen."

"For the last time-"

"Shut up Loverboy! Soldiers Let's get to work!" Shotaro began parading around, as the boys carried a 6 feet tall boy across the dorm. "Listen you are no way in hell wearing that ugly ass hoodie, wear this denim jacket or lose the love of your life." Wonbin began.

"And we gotta do something with your hair cuz you remind me of when my mom used to cut my hair," Eunseok began ruffling the boy's hair.

Finally they dressed him up-giving him an early 2000's teen movie makeover-not that he needed one. "Now, I know it's gonna be scary, and you will want to die, but under no circumstances will you call for your eomma, we can't let her think you have mommy issues." Shotaro gave the first advice.

"Instead, ask if you can hold hands, just make sure they aren't sweaty," Seunghan said. "What if she says no?"

"Then change your name to Amanda Williams, move to Switzerland and never return- also get a buzz cut just in case." Wonbin advised.

"But relax, she isn't like that, she's a caring person okay, she'll know if you're scared besides she helped you with your bullies, she'll help you with ghosts too, don't worry." Sungchan assured.

"How can you say that for sure though?" Eunseok raised a brow. "Because- I don't know man she feels like my sister, we have been talking quite a lot lately and it literally feels liek we're siblings," Sungchan explained.

"As long as you don't commit sweet home Alabama, Anton shouldn't feel jealous, right?" Wonbin looked towards the boy who rolled his eyes at Sungchan. "Ah don't worry Anton, I wouldn't ever think that way... but now that I think about it..." Sungchan took a dramatic pause. "Why am I helping a boy become my sister's boyfriend?!?"

"You better not do anything suspicious," He suddenly warned Anton as him and Seunghan began moving out the home. "It'd be a blessing if he could even talk to her without stuttering, you shouldn't be worried at all," Eunseok teased. "Hyung!" They heard Anton protest before the door closed.

-

"Oh Seunghan! You're here, where's Anton?" Wonmee asked as they stood near the snacks counter. "Oh he'll be here any moment," Seunghan smiled.

Anton suddenly appeared out of nowhere, dramatically walking in, making eye contact with Gwen- who was-why was she looking at her phone- goddammit the dramatic entry they planned was useless.

"Oh Hi Anton!" Gwen looked up, shooting a smile. "H-Hey!" Anton tried to look cool. "What's wrong with you today?" Gwen laughed. "Okay, so who's getting the popcorn?"

"Me and Wonmee will take care of it, you both go!" Seunghan quickly ushered the younger two towards the movie hall, a plan being plotted in his mind.

-

"Ah so I see, Anton does like her! But you know I think Gwen likes him too," Wonmee said as her and the boy were walking back to the theatre with popcorn and drinks in their hands.

"Wait really? But she person-zoned him right?" Seunghan tilted his head. "Bold of you to assume a girl would tell her feelings straight! Why are you so oblivious, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Oh well my ex yea, she cheated on me," Seunghan sighed. "You got cheated on? You? No way-"

"Get this, with my best friend," he revealed as Wonmee couldn't believe her ears. "That's well- uh- I don't know what to say, how do you feel?"

"I guess it's just life, stuff works like that," he sighed yet again, opening the door and holding it open. "I mean it shouldn't, like you're probably the hottest guy in our group?? Maybe the hottest person I've ever seen? And not only that, you're a gentleman, you're everything? How could they?"

"Woah woah, did you just call me hot?"

"I'm only saying the truth, besides, if you weren't hot you can't be an idol,"

"Sohee's an exception, he's cute as fuck."

"There's always an exception," she smiled, heading to their seat. "Oh look they're sitting beside each other! Our plan worked letsgo!!" Seunghan smiled.

-

Seriously what the fuck. Anton was one more jumpscare away from dying, how could anyone enjoy this? He was holding everything in him to not scream, and it was only 27 minutes until now, oh how would he even manage anymore?

Unbeknownst to him however, the girl beside him could sense the fear lingering in the boy, so almost immediately, she said. "Anton, hold my hand if you're scared, it'll be alright, it's just a movie."

She didn't give him even a second to respond as before he could say anything, his left hand had already been entwined with her left. He could feel the callous on her skin- from her playing her guitar probably, but it was still somehow soft and gentle. Like an assuring feel that nothing would happen to him.

Anton's heart still raced, but now it wasn't because of fear.

-

"Please that movie was ass," Wonmee remarked as the group was walking back to the dorm, which was quite close. "I know right, like the jumpscares were cheap as shit."

"I agree, like the cinematography should've been done better to compliment the acting for god's sake."

The three (Anton didn't speak, still reminiscing holding his crush's hand) continued to talk about the movie until they began walking past a 7/11.

"Gyuri Park? Is that you?" Gwen stopped in her tracks, turning back to look at her biggest nightmare. "Ah so it is you," a boy walked over to her, turning her around, getting ahold of her right hand.

"Minjae just leave us be."

"Ah so your hand and your voice both work well now?" He smirked still not letting go. "Let go of her you asshole." Wonmee came in front, shoving him aside.

"Oh Gyuri, you now have other friends and not just that loser boy, hot friends might I add." Minjae said checking out wonmee.

"Just shut up dude," Seunghan said in anger. "Ah you still have guy friends, guess you're still a slut huh?" Minjae only looked at Gwen, who had tears welling up in her eyes.

"Aww jagi, don't cry," he mocked, caressing her cheek. "Don't touch me, you creep," Gwen managed to shout, swatting his hand away.

"Oh feisty, guess you became like this to be more like my type right?" The bully kept laughing as his two other friends joined in, much to the four's despise.

"You know what, just fuck off." Anton pushed the boy, who was shorter than him, alas, Minjae punched him back, almost toppling him to the ground.

"Don't fucking touch him ever again, you jerk," Gwen kicked his shin before taking Anton's hand and running away.

"Guys come quick!"

-

"Gwen who was that?"

...

Taglist: @seolboba (comment if you wanna be added !!)

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #80

I rested for most of the day today. In so doing, I had a realization.

Truth be told, on a near-constant basis, I'm plagued with a wide variety of doubts and insecurities, like most anyone with a trauma history. Thanks to the power of "pathological projective identification" (I'm so glad that this is a phrase that I now know!), I had been forced to internalize, as a small child, the notion that I am fundamentally defective, wrong, strange, and inferior to all other humans. While I am at a point now where I understand rationally that all of this is false, these messages have been ground into my bones, and I am still trying to root them out and replace them with better things. Just because something gets ground into our bones doesn't mean that that's who we truly are or who we have to remain forever.

I thought about my biological family, with whom I've severed all ties. I've thought about my own growth and learning over the years. I imagine if they saw me now, they would look at me and see a very stupid, naive, and weak person who has all the wrong ideas about how the world works and about people in general.

And you know? Old me would have deferred to their judgment of who I am and what I stand for instead of trusting my own. Old me would have tried to adjust myself in order to better suit their definition of what is the "correct" way to be a human, to change my worldview to something harsher in order to better suit their definition of what "strength" is.

It's not quite that bad for me anymore, but still, when I think about the notion that they would most likely vehemently disapprove of who I'm becoming, I feel more than a little sad, and still a part of me wonders if maybe they were right about me all along - that I'm nothing more than an oblivious weakling with poor judgment, who is far too open, and does not have enough perspective for my perceptive abilities or my general manner of thinking, feeling, and being to be worth a damn.

But then I realized. Given that I've grown past them in a variety of ways, why should I continue to see myself as beneath them, and continue to view my judgment and manner of being as inferior to theirs? Given that they still make choices that are destructive to themselves and to other people, I think it might be wise to reconsider how much weight I place on what they might think of me.

The people in my immediate circle know, understand, accept, and love me as I am. And shouldn't that be enough, even if the rest of the world was my enemy?

And… I suppose more importantly, given that I am a person who does my best to stand for compassion and mercy, shouldn't my own approval of myself and my own faith in my judgment and perception be enough as well?

…I'm going to work on it. I can't protect the people around me if I'm questioning my own integrity every time someone who doesn't understand me acts like they know more about who I am than I do. I can't try to protect you or other fallen folks if I am constantly questioning the validity of the kindness and mercy I've been trying to learn to embody. I don't know exactly what I'm gonna do yet, but I am surrounded by a wide variety of very amazing people, and I like to think that I'm reasonably intelligent; I'm sure I'll figure out something if I pay careful attention to the things going on around me.

Hey, Sephiroth? Are you resting properly? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you hydrating and nourishing well? I know you're supposedly superhuman or some shit, but you're still a man, still a squishy mammal, and as such, basic needs and comforts are essential. Please treat yourself as though you deserve nice things, won't you? Please treat yourself as though you deserve to feel healthy and good. And maybe then you can think about your childhood and your upbrigning and all the horrific circumstances you suffered under, and realize that none of it was your fault. Maybe you can realize that it happened because the people around you were so traumatized that they made bad choices while interacting with you, and not because you're a "monster" or an "aberration" or an "abomination" (because you are NONE of these things!).

I think I'll end today's letter here. Though I am slowly recovering from the trip and from the other adjustments that have been made to the structure of my immediate circle, I'm still pretty tired.

Remember you're loved. Not for what you look like. Not for the power you wield. Not for your status or your fame. But because you're you. Remember that even if you lost all of those things, there are still people in this world who would do their best to know, understand, accept, and love you as-is. Use that knowledge to muster up the courage you need to make good, wholesome, and loving choices. Use that knowledge to muster up the courage to be gentle, compassionate, and kind with your words and deeds; this is what it means to be strong in the real way. Do no harm, but take no shit, okay?

I'll keep writing to you every day until you come home to the people who care for you. We miss you.

Your friend, Lumine

[somatheking]

Niragi at the Queen of Hearts.

Okay, @niragi-of-bitches I've been waiting for the right moment to drop this and since I know you're having a bad day today, here it is. It's just the dialogue between a possible scenario of Niragi and Mira at the Queen of Hearts game, and I'm sure you're gonna shout at me for the characterisation of Niragi, but I wanted to do this to cheer you up and show you that this community loves and appreciates you. I hope it at least makes your day a bit better.

Niragi: “Three rounds without quitting? Bullshit. Do you think I’m dumb or something?”

Mira: “Of course not! I’ve followed all of your games, silly, how could I think you’re dumb? You’re the one who came up with the points strategy in the King of Clubs. You were classified as a diamonds player at the Beach, and I’ll have you know, without counting the face cards, you cleared more diamonds games than Chishiya. In fact, I was expecting you’d be the one to reach the final game! I was looking forwards to this. We didn’t get to talk much in the Beach”

N: “It’s a hearts game. You’re hiding something”

Mira smirks. “You could say that. But that’s not important now! You’ll find out in due time. For now, let’s play.”

N: “Like hell we are. I’m not touching a mallet until you fucking tell me what you’re hiding”

M: “You do this every time! You never let me play croquet! It’s my favorite game, Niragi, and you don’t even have to win-“

N: “I do this ‘every time? What the fuck do you mean?’

Mira sighs. “I guess it can’t be helped, then. Come over to the table, at least let me have some tea.”

M: “Don’t you think it’s strange how you’ve survived up until now? You fell from a four-story building, you’ve endured severe burns twice, you’ve been shot, and yet you’re still alive! I’m a medical professional, though we won’t get into that, and I can assure you, Niragi, you should have died a long time ago. Burns like that need reposition with fluids, and it would’ve been so easy for you to get an infection, too, and-“

N: “Cut to the point. This country doesn’t work like the real world does. I’ve seen weirder things than someone surviving a few wounds”

M: “Yes, but Tatta died after just losing his hand, didn’t he? And you’ve killed people, you know how easy it is for someone to die. So why not you?”

Niragi is impatient. “Because Tatta was a weakling and so were the other people I killed. I killed them because they were weak. But you’re avoiding my question again, and if-”

M: “I can’t tell you everything at once because your brain would go into shock if I did. I need to ease this information so your body is protected. The borderlands are designed so that anyone who starts to remember what this place is, or how they arrived here, they’ll be erased immediately, and although you are the only person who has a certain resistance to this, we still need to be careful.”

N: “Me.”

M: “I think it’s safe to start by saying that none of the people in the borderlands are here by mistake. There are two groups of people here, the ones who are here because they need money, and the ones who are here because the borderlands itself provides them with something the real world does not. So, for example, Last Boss came here because he wanted to live in a world where he wouldn’t be tied down by morality or societal norms. Hatter wanted to lead and control a group of people after he was disgraced from his host club in Kabukicho. Chishiya led an incredibly boring and mundane life, so he sought the thrill and intellectual stimulation of the games. Usagi despised the real world after her father went missing because of an incident with the press. And Aguni, I guess just came here to protect Hatter. A reason as valid as any other.”

“Then there’s the people who need money. Kuina has to take care of her mother’s hospital bills and pay rent with the salary of an apparels clerk. Usagi could also do with some extra money, after her father left her. Arisu doesn’t have a job and doesn’t want one either. In fact, the day he arrived here, his father had just thrown him out, refusing to provide for him any longer. Tatta… well, his story would be long to explain, but let’s just say his motives were monetary as well.”

M: “So, is there anyone you know that doesn’t fall under any of those categories? Money or personal reasons? Have you ever met a player who told you they were completely fine with their life, who didn’t need any money (and I’m not talking about wanting, I’m talking about needing), and despised this place?”

N: “You’re saying that people had reasons to come here? So they’re here because they chose to?”

M: “Yes, yes, now you’re getting it! Niragi, you’re a game developer, right? And a pretty good one at that”

Niragi scoffs. “A damn good one”

M: “You were the one to create the borderlands”

There’s a pause. 

M: “A virtual reality game, one which transcends the limits of what anyone thought was possible. A land which allows people to act freely, which doesn’t condemn anyone for their impulses or desires, bringing us to a simpler time when life was about survival of the fittest. All these rules about what humans can’t or can’t do: someone insults you and you hit them; you’re charged with assault. Someone breaks into your house to rob you, and you murder them, suddenly you’ve earned yourself a couple years in jail and an indelible criminal record. What sense does that make?”

N: “No sense at all. Weak people can’t deal with their own shit anymore, so they created these higher powers like laws and judges to protect them. It’s always bugged me so much that runts can run their mouth all day at me without being scared that I’ll beat them up”

M: “It’s as if anything which is part human nature is criminalized now. People have to hold in their anger and their emotions for fear of being punished by it. By something that is ingrained into their DNA! It’s madness how adamant people are to deny their impulses, when it’s part of what we are. Our most honest part, even. Why would we want to hide it? We should rejoice in it!”

Niragi bangs his hand on the table with glee. “Yes! Fucking yes! You get it! You shouldn’t be able to control me, you should just be able to protect yourself. Who the fuck are you to limit my freedom?”

Mira nods in agreement. “Evolutionary speaking, natural selection only allowed for the better adapted to survive. But now, us as a society have made laws in order to protect weak people, when it should be the other way around. We should be protecting strong people, so we could advance as a race. No wonder the world is in the state it is today.”

N: “That’s why I made the borderlands, isn’t it?”

Mira smiles complicity. “Exactly. I see you’re starting to understand. There’s something you used to say… what was it? Something about how if there were seven billion people like you…”

N: “Yeah, what I told Arisu. ‘If there were 7 billion people just like me, the evil one would be you. You're lucky you're on the side of the populace.’”

M: “Right! That was it! You must not remember, but you told me that yourself. How you’d found a way of turning that around, because, you see, you said: ‘it doesn’t matter how many of them there are, as long as they live in a world where I make the rules.’ I got chills the first time I heard that! And besides, I think you proved that in a world without laws, where mass morality doesn’t exist and everyone is reduced to their own personal set of values, the majority resorts to doing things that would be considered ‘evil’ back in the real world. Look at how the witch hunt went; everyone started killing each other when the answer was the girl who was already dead! And you really should’ve seen the amount of lies, betrayal and manipulation I’ve witnessed during the games. It shows that people aren’t divided between being ‘good’ or being ‘bad’. They’re divided between those who need the moral ground to feel superior to others, and those who don’t.”

N: “Wow. This is crazy. Absolutely batshit nuts, but it makes sense if I was the one to invent it”. He’s laughing hysterically. “But you said.. you mentioned something about money? What’s all that about?”

M: “Well, you needed a reason to get the weak people to come to the borderlands too, and the easiest way to do so was money. You offered a hefty amount of yen to whoever survived until the end of the borderlands games.”

N: “How much?”

Mira scoffs. “More than any of these people deserve. About a billion and a half yen, I believe. Roughly around ten million dollars, for your international customers.”

N: “So if I win the game, do I get this money?”

M: “Everyone who survived gets it, even if they’re badly hurt or half-dead. From the people you know, that would be Kuina, Chishiya, Arisu, Usagi, An and Aguni. If you wait a couple of hours some of them might die from their wounds, though. The only person with a certain immunity towards physical damage is you, so I don’t think it’d take long.”

N: “If I clear the last game, everyone gets the money? How’s that fucking fair?”

M: “You needed an incentive for people to play. Considering you’re the only one who gets this far, people refused to participate because you’d consistently get the prize. Well, not exactly. There are several borderlands going on at the same time; they’d just sign up for others. I can’t blame them, it must be intimidating to participate in the same one as the creator of the game.”

N: “Such a bunch of pussies. I don’t want to share my prize with the likes of Chishiya, or that bitch Arisu.”

M: What if I told you, you didn’t have to? That precisely because of this, you included a certain loophole so this wouldn’t happen?”

N: “I’m listening.”

M: “Isn’t it weird how firearms are allowed in this game? When it has nothing to do with weapons? What would happen if you shot me? It would be a tie, right? Because you cannot quit the game, so you can’t lose, but you can’t win it either”

N: “Right…” He doesn’t have time to think about this because Mira continues speaking.

M: “You included a clause which stipulated that if one of the face card games ended in a tie, the game (as in, the entire borderlands game) would reset and start again, with everyone’s memory wiped. It was a pretty clever thing to include, given how you’re always the one who gets to the Queen of Hearts and you’re always carrying a gun. Basically this whole game is designed around giving you a choice. You could quit and lose, making it possible for someone else to clear the game. You could play the three rounds of croquet with me and win the grand prize, as would the rest of people still alive. Or, you could restart the games. A clean slate for everyone.”

Niragi opens his mouth to talk, but Mira interrupts him. 

M: “You don’t even have to tell me which one you’re going to choose because I already know, silly. We’ve been in the same game for six years now!”

N: “Damn, six years? How old was I when I created the borderlands?”

M: “Oh, no, your body here isn’t the same as the one back in the real world! You’re sixty-two now. In fact, we celebrated your birthday just a couple of weeks ago, the citizens and I. You couldn’t exactly attend, since you were with the VR set in the pod. But we all gathered around it and put a candle on top as we ate cake and watched how you cleared the King of Clubs. We’re really grateful for the job you’ve given us. We get to participate in games, we get to make them, we’re the only ones who know the truth about this place… we get to enjoy absolutely everything the borderlands have to offer. You created such a beautiful world. I don’t think I’ll ever get to thank you enough.”

N: “I fucking hated Kyuuma, so make sure to fire him on my behalf whenever you get the chance. Though I believe you deserve to live in this country. You’ve done a good job. The ten of hearts, that was your idea?”

M: “Yes”

N: “Brilliant. I want it again for the next cycle of the game.”

M: “Noted. Ah, it’ll be so wonderful! Another game with everyone! I personally love the Beach arc and I can’t wait until we get there, but it’s so exhilarating to meet everyone again for the first time, and listen to their hopes and dreams. Arisu will recover from his friends’ deaths only to forget and lose them again. Kuina will never reunite with her mother, not only because she’s trapped in this cycle you’ve created, but because she doesn’t know she’s been dead for the past three years. Chishiya will go through most of his time in the borderlands as an empty husk, and just as he catches a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel, just as he sacrifices himself for Usagi and allows himself to hope he’ll be able to change once he returns to the real world, you rip those dreams from him and send him back to square one. You know, there are times when he even gets to see Kuina die right in front of him! It’s so delectable when a man spends his entire life without being able to feel anything and the first thing he experiences is an intense agony that rips him apart.”

N: “Good. He deserves to suffer. All of them do.”

M: “Then what are you waiting for? Let’s start again.”

[flakytartart]

Box split FAQ (Who, What, When, Where, Why + How)

Who are you?

Hi! I'm Flaky, a hobby artist that likes to buy merch of my favorite characters (mostly from Danganronpa and Persona 4/5). Nice to meet you if we haven't already interacted! :J

What's this post about?

There's a new piece of Danganronpa merchandise available for pre-order on AmiAmi - Key of Love keychains!

You can buy a single keychain at random for 1,210 JPY or the complete set of 16 for 19,360 JPY. Buying an entire set gives you 1 random photo card as a bonus.

I preordered 3 full sets (THH, SDR2, and V3) to collect my favorite characters and will be left with 39 extra characters. Because of that, I put together a box split/sales post in the hopes of getting rid of the extra!

I'm charging $8 USD for each keychain + shipping ($6) and taking payments via PayPal and Venmo. Photo cards will also be available for reservation (keep reading for more info).

When...

...do the keychains come out?

Preorders are expected to release/ship out sometime in February 2024. I'll start sorting/packing when they get to me.

...do we have to pay for our claims?

As soon as possible please! After you send in your claim, I will calculate and send your total along with my Paypal link/Venmo username via DM.

Where will you ship to?

I'm located in the US so I'll only be selling/shipping domestically. :0 I don't know how much shipping to other countries would cost and it makes me a bit nervous to deal with that so I'd rather not attempt anything. I'm sorry.

Why are you doing this? (And why should I trust you?)

I think it's a pretty good deal for everyone! You get the exact keychain you want for a decent price, you help me (not really) break even, and I don't have to own 48 keychains. Hunting for merch can be difficult/pricey, plus I've always wanted to organize a box split. I'm pretty much selling these at a loss but I think it's worth it even if just one person gets what they want! If these don't sell here or on Mercari I'm most likely gonna pass them out for free at our local anime convention next year.

As for trusting me - I understand if you don't or are nervous. I really am just some dude on the internet. All I can say is that I have good standing as a seller on eBay and Mercari, am very serious about handling other peoples money, and that your information (emails, names, address, regular things I'd need in order to send stuff to you) is 100% safe with me. :] 👍

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Okay so you've made it this far -

How does this work?

Well! This is my first time doing this so the main post is mostly based off of how shsl-box-split runs their splits (+ throw a bit of Harpys_ on IG in there too). They're both incredibly wonderful and friendly so I highly suggest checking them out!

I am one person doing this alone so please be patient with me during this process. Basically, it'll go something like this:

Decide on what keychain(s) you want + what photo cards you'd like to try for.

Send me an ask containing which characters you want (I will not post your message, it's just to help me see who claimed what first!) as well as your preferred payment method (Paypal or Venmo). Claims are first come, first served.

I'll DM you to confirm your claims, total, and send either a link to my Paypal or my Venmo username. Please do not claim keychains if you cannot immediately pay for them.

After payment is received, I will update the split post with your username and log down relevant information into a separate spreadsheet. At this time you are free to send me your shipping address (recommended) or wait to send it at a later time.

We time travel wait for the February 2024 release date!

Shortly after the keychains get to me in February, I will begin sorting and packing. Before sending anything out, I will message you one last time to confirm that your claims and address are correct (or ask for your address if you haven't already sent it).

I send off your package using USPS! It arrives at your mailbox! Boom, transaction complete! :D

About photo cards...

Each set comes with one random photo card. Every character will have 3 slots and you are allowed to reserve one photo card for every keychain purchased. Reserving a photo card does not guarantee that you will receive one. Some examples: You buy one 1 keychain and reserve a Hajime photo card - if any of the sets come with Hajime, he's yours! You're the last (third) person to reserve Hajime's photo card. You will only get him if - by some miracle - all three bonus cards are revealed to be Hajime. You claim Hajime, but the photo cards are of Makoto, Kaede, and Shuichi. You will not receive a photo card with your order. Your best bet is to reserve characters that don't already have reservations or to reserve different characters (if purchasing multiple keychains). I don't think there'll be duplicates, but for the sake of covering all bases, 15 slots are available for reserving photo cards.

This split will be open until the sets arrive at my door. If you need to pull out of the split, please, do not contact/start a dispute with Paypal or Venmo. Let me know what's up and I will send back your money. No shame, no judgement.

If for whatever reason my preorder is cancelled, something comes in damaged, etc. I will send out an explanation message + offer refunds to those affected. I do not give out refunds if your package has already been shipped.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

And that's...pretty much it! Thank you for reading this incredibly long post lol. If you have any questions please let me know! :J If you're interested in joining the split, feel free to see what's available here.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[pls-insert-25cents-to-continue]

I wrote this several years ago on my old blog and was thinking on it. It's still true. So I'm sharing here as well....

What's wrong with you?

I got asked this today. Twice. Both times elicited a different response.

The first person who asked was a friend and given that it was meant in a joking manner, my response was "Shit. I forgot to carry the folder with the list of things the doctor's at the asylum gave me. Do you think I'm going to get in trouble for that?"

The second person I'd never seen, met or spoken to before and my response was "Uh..."

Totally brilliant right? I thought so. It was eloquent, witty and just all around perfect in shape, form and fashion. Truly, I have the most astounding wit. It is unmatched and unparalleled and this stranger was duly impressed with me and now we're so totally besties.

Not!

So what is wrong with me? The only answer I can come up with is I'm human. That's what's wrong with me. I'm human and can be inanely stupid, sparklingly brilliant, off the wall bonkers, or just fucking mean at any given moment. I'm made up of millions upon millions of different thoughts, ideas, feelings, memories that all get packed together into this tiny little space and what comes out is, well, this person that walks around I call Me.

She can be a real pain in the ass at times and utterly adorable at others (if only you could see me laughing at myself right at this moment).

Course that's not how anyone ever means the question. No, it can't be as simple as that and bet you money if you answer it with "I'm human" they will roll their eye at you and walk away (unless they are that really great sort of person that snorts and laughs--in that case you should immediately pounce on them and become friends. Seriously. Do not let people like that get away. Those are the type of people who when you say someone pissed you off, grab your hand and go skipping down the lane with you singing "We're gonna beat someone up." You want those types of people in your life, but I'm digressing here--I do that). They want you to somehow supply them with a real answer. One that that fits into their idea of the world.

Fine, sit down. This is going to take a while.

Hahahaha! No, I'm not going to list a shit load of faults for you people. That's silly, because that's not the answer those people want either. They don't give a shit what actually makes your brain tick or why you are the way you are. What they really want to know is where the hell you got the balls to open your mouth and say that without thinking twice about it. Especially if it's something that wouldn't be said around polite company. Even more so if it's some hot button issue where there ain't any doubt whatsoever that someone is going to take offense.

They are probably jealous that they aren't brave enough to say something like that themselves.

OK, I lied a little. My filter (you know the one that keeps people from saying inflammatory shit off the cuff at the exact wrong time?), yeah it's got a short in it. It works a hell of a lot better when someone is paying me to be nice, I admit. Not that I'm not nice. I generally am pretty nice to be honest, but seriously, I have trouble with these random trains of thoughts that push the well thought out reasoned response I have out of the way, beat the fuck out of it with a baseball bat before gang raping it and then jumping out of my mouth before I know what's happened. The results can be... Uh... Pretty messed up at times. Sometimes it's this nervous babble complete with giggle and other times these outrageous statements that have everybody backing up a few steps (except for those few special people like I mentioned before).

Because of this, I spend most of my time with my mouth shut (unless I'm among friends like I stated before) around people I don't know well. I am not well socialized. (I am well adjusted. Swear. Got the paperwork to prove it. We don't need no medication.)

I lost the point again. What the heck is wrong with you doesn't actually require an answer. I just have the insane urge to try and answer people when they say it. And it is insane, because really they don't care what the answer is. They have already made their judgement based on whatever tom dickery, kinky fuckery, jaded blast, or violently uttered statement that just came tripping out of your mouth and it's done. You don't get that moment back. You can't do it over. You are now the raving lunatic, or possible deviant in their mind and that's that. They might warm up to you eventually, at some later point, when they realize how harmless you actually are (and yes I'm fairly harmless. Mostly harmless anyway. Did I mention I carry a titanium spork for personal protection? See? Mostly harmless), but that first impression lingers.

Of course, if whatever came out of your mouth was interesting enough to make them really want to know what the heck is wrong with you, they'll stick around to find out. They'll keep coming back. I've made several good friends this way, thank all the little gods above and below.

I know I'm not the only person who does this, who acts like this. Trust me. I'm surrounded by them at work on a daily basis. Truthfully I think most people wish they could be more like that. I mean, I've never heard anything just randomly blurted out that I found was offensive (that is NOT a challenge universe. Swear!). Most of it I think is pretty funny. Some of it a little strange, but I like it! I like it a lot. That's how I know that if I can get past this nervous babble thing I've got going on (I can even freaking babble in emails as well as IM conversation. Honest. It's a skill, I'm telling you), and gather my courage well enough, we'll probably end up being friends.

I'm not real good at it, never be the social butterfly, but at least I'm trying.

I like making those friends smile after we are friends even more. I love making them smile in fact. My day is better if I've made someone in that small group of special people I call friends smile.

So what the heck is wrong with me?

I'm me.

Now what the heck is wrong with you?

No I actually want to know. I want to know what makes you you. Be you for me. Be unique. Don't hold back. I want to know what makes you tick. I honestly do, because... Well because you are human like me. Imperfect. Crazy. Horrible. Violent. Loving.

Wonderful.

What the heck is wrong with you?

[moondonky]

Broke bitches

How the government always fucking broke,, they just had more money than the last 80 years combined,, like why, where's there audit,, and they take 40% of everyone else's money, inflation is controlled just a hidden tax, where the fuk is it all going , why do they keep raising the debt ceiling,, they suck at money, look around there not fixing anything, there not really building anything,, they toll everything make u pay for parking,, idk if it's just me but things seem dirtier.. like we just pulled out of a war that costed billions daily,, shouldn't we have more money, thy keep printing it I don't see a mountain of money... 30 trillion what are they buying,, is there even enough things to buy, would u b able to buy every single thing on this planet,,, thats alot of fucking money, where is it? U could buy all the gold in existence twice with that much money.. maybe not Ugandas recent discovery of like 13 trillion dollars worth of gold,, thats the other thing wouldn't the price of gold be declining,, didn't the supply just double... this is why I say everything is rigged and imaginary,, they don't really need money, there just keeping people poor at this point,, like people are peasants and they are bloodline royalty... isn't that like the opposite of why America became America,, or did I miss something studying history,, was it all bs where they lying, were they teaching us a bs story.. wasn't our money suppose to b backed by silver.. wasn't that in the constitution... everything happening,, did we vote for any of this, I'm pretty sure our founding fathers would yell treason... where the fuk is all the money... Money is worthless now why even keep working, they don't why should i, I ain't touching there cars rn.. lets see them do it.. let's see them do anything.. its there luxurious world thats burning, how we serve them is what's degrading, in no way are they a majority, they are there own tiny useless community..

I'm just gonna float,, I feel like I can tread longer.. I'll watch it I'm in the water, I'll watch it all burn down I'm not firefighter, even they are too busy fighting overdoses.. I don't think cops give af either, and that might be that people at the top arnt doing there job, they made things dangerous, they made things impossible, i wouldnt get in plane with those new pilots.. if ur gonna sit on the pot u better b fucking shitting,, if u gonna manage u better b good at it,, unlike the rest of the world,, u do not let the American people catching u fucking slacking,, if ur gonna be important show that your important that shits annoying... I really feel the world would be better off without them,, I honestly think it would immediately improve actually.. where the fuk is the money... and I know, I'm not stupid, I'm just stubbornly asking.. I already followed the money,, they were suppose to pay off the debt, they were suppose to balance the deficit... instead they put in there pockets they gave themselves bigger pensions, not to mention all the frivolous bs lawsuits that we end up paying for, they even took half of everyone's retirements,, that people worked thirty forty fifty fucking years for, they worked there entire lives for... I'm srry I'm not fucking doing that,, I'd rather live in a cave like wtf is that,, who tf does that, what a waste...

Effin millenial I'm urked,, I'm disappointed af,, when my grandma died I wasn't even allowed to go to the funeral, because of covid, because of liberal division,, even in my own family, I didn't know they were so weak,, I had to pray to pay respects.. I had to grieve by myself, that changed me, all that shit was for money, I ain't putting up with no fake shit no more,, I'm glad it's collapsing i hope it all dissapears... its all an illusion that's not gonna affect me.. I hope all that money melts like wax and I hope they get stuck in it.. I wanna see them work, I eanna see them struggle, I wanna see them sweat, i wanna see them carry shit, i wanna see them skip meals, I wanna see what they look like when there fatigued and exhausted, I wanna see them with sum dirty hands,, I wanna see them do what I've been doing for the last twenty years.. and I wanna see if they can keep a smile on there fuckin ugly faces. They look like demons, they act like demons, they think like demons, they do shit demons do.. so to me they fit the definition, they are demons