#but then i see posts online saying that it's not as good
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Day 1: Scandal
Aespa Karina x male reader smut
words: 4,260 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist
They're calling it the scandal of the century. A downright disaster. People scrambled in the aftermath, but the damage had been done, the proverbial milk spilt. And oh, did the milk spill alright. It sounds like everyone had tuned in right around the country. Hell, right around the world.
If they didn't catch it live, then they certainly caught the post-game replays.
There are a lot of those going around.
No amount of damage control could have prevented it from exploding all over the Internet and into every gossip rag imaginable. But damn it if her PR team hadn't tried to stop it anyway. They had gone on the offence—attacking everyone and anyone who had even so much as hinted at the incident. Filing every legal document they could just get it removed.
It doesn't matter. The damage is done. The ties are cut and you're both hung out to dry.
Well before it happened, there had been warnings. Karina was still fresh off the back of her first Dispatch leak. The two of them weren't even really dating. Two young, rich and hot adults were just fooling around, so once it hit the press and the online articles came in, she took the axe to that relationship right away. She could always find another dick to ride on.
That she did; your dick, and damn did she ride it.
It was a friend of a friend thing. You know one of those 'I showed this girl your picture and she wants to get to know you' things. To be honest, you thought it was a joke. Of course, you did. How often does some K-pop starlet want to have dinner with you?
Anyway, three months down the line and you're two and half months deep into, well, being deep into her.
Her apartment is nice. Her bed is nicer, or at least it is with her in it.
You spent night after night together doing every nasty, carnal thing she wanted. She loves it. You would come to realise she's a bit of a nymphomaniac—and you fucking love it. But, even still, you kept it casual. Kept it quiet.
Didn't work too well.
There was a close call, once.
You put it down to getting a little too comfortable. The guard slipped for just the briefest moment of weakness. Though, if anything, you would at least put part of the blame on the whole system. See, Karina can't catch a flight without the entire thing being documented. She arrives at the airport and they're all there waiting with cameras in hand to get the latest snap of her airport fashion as she comes out of the van. They know what flight she's on and the exact departure time, and then when she lands there's another group of fans waiting.
So it goes without saying, you two can't just waltz in there hand-in-hand. So you book the same flight, seated far enough away from her that no one would question a thing. You shouldn't speak, not until you're safely at the other end and in the privacy of the hotel room, but Karina is Karina.
So she texted you, this one time in the departure lounge. A twenty-minute window and directions to the toilets of the private lounge. There, in the small cubicle, you slipped down her jeans, turned her around, bent her over and made her feel good.
It was quick and messy. Nothing like how the sex would be in her hotel later that night. You had her cheek pressed against the door of the cubicle, your hand covering her mouth to stifle the noise, and your dick going balls deep in her hot pussy while her hand rubbed away at her clit. It was desperate and hungry—more the need to release the sexual tension than to enjoy it.
But damn was it fun.
She deepened the arch of her back and presented herself just that bit more for you and you watched every inch go inside her with each thrust. Watched as your cock spread apart those soft pussy lips of hers and vanished into the warm embrace of her body. Her ass shook as your hips slapped against it and eventually, her legs trembled so much that you had to wrap your arm around her waist to keep her up.
But when you came—and you came deep—someone entered the bathroom. Their presence was unknown until you heard the faucet run. For a brief, horrifying moment you thought it might be someone waiting to bust you.
A security guard or maybe a tabloid reporter ready to get their story. The scandal of the century? Not quite.
Just another passenger. They didn't even realise who they were next to as they washed their hands. But the idea that you both could've been caught, had Karina let that moan slip or if you hadn't just stopped pounding her against the door so hard that it rattled the hinges.
Afterwards, with your spent dick sliding out from between her tight thighs, it was something Karina whispered in your ear. She said, "That was close. We'll have to be more careful."
If only you knew just how careless she was about to be...
See, it was a pretty normal evening. She texted you a time to come over, and you took all the usual precautions. (There's a side door into the block and a service elevator that Karina made sure to get the passcode for.) Admittedly, you got there five minutes early, but it wasn't the first time it had happened, and since the first time, Karina made sure to leave a sock on the bedroom door just in case it happened again. She was streaming, you see, an Instagram live session. One of those things where the adoring fans get to listen to their idols talk about themselves, or their day, or sometimes with Karina, something a little out of the ordinary.
So you waited. A drink of water, sitting on her couch, and letting curiosity take over. You opened up her Instagram, watched her for a few minutes, and smiled to yourself because, as usual, she was simply being Karina. No topic, just rambling, but there were thousands watching anyway, because well, why wouldn't they?
A smile crept onto your face as you watched, knowing that she was in the next room, just looking that good, and soon enough you would be in there ravishing her. There were thousands upon thousands of other people, jealous of you without even realising you existed, who would give almost anything to be in your shoes—to be able to do the things you do to Karina. Fuck, some of them would probably sell everything they owned.
Then she started saying goodbye to people. Signing off, wishing them a good night, whatever. So you locked the phone and waited until she came down the hallway.
She was moving quickly, right towards you. Bare feet hitting the wooden floor in hurried little slaps. She jumped right into your lap without so much as a 'Hello', and she clamped her legs, clad in tight yoga pants, around your waist. She grabbed either side of your face and kissed you, a hand reaching back and pulling on the hair at the base of your skull as she did.
And it wasn't soft either.
It was fierce and aggressive. Her tongue forced its way into your mouth, pushing against your own, flicking over your teeth. She ground herself against the erection growing beneath her and breathed hot breath against your lips while biting down on the lower one.
"You," she gasped. "Take me to the bedroom... Now."
"Hi to you too," you joked, putting your arms under her butt.
She was so very easy to carry. Maybe because you had done it so many times before. But she had always been a light little thing, so slender apart from exactly the places you would want her to be big. It always made it so easy to pin her against the wall with her leg over your shoulder, to press her up against the shower and bounce her up and down on your cock while steam filled the bathroom. But mostly it was great because you could easily throw her down on the bed.
Tonight wasn't going to be any different.
Except it was, wasn't it? But neither of you knew that just yet.
As you walked toward her room, holding her gorgeous body up with nothing but a firm grasp on her ass, she kept whispering things to you. Whispered them right against your ear, her voice low and husky as she did. She told you about all the things that she wanted you to do to her. The things that she wanted to do to you. Like some raw, filthy script of a play long overdue to be performed.
"...and then I want you to put it right back in my pussy and cum in me again and again," she said it right as you pushed through the door. Look, Karina's room isn't that huge, but when you're dying to get your cock into her, going all the way to the bed seemed like such a pain when there was a perfectly good wall right there. You turned and pinned her against it.
There you two stayed for a while, locked in that embrace, kissing and nibbling. She wrestled your shirt off over your head while you peeled up her sports bra. You bent your head down to her chest and kissed along the valley between her breasts. Her soft skin warm against your lips, and you kept pressing them down on her, leaving faint wet marks until you reached one of those pert pink nipples. You cupped her tit and you sucked. Hard.
A little whimper of appreciation followed by a slight tremble through her body was the response.
You went from one to the other. Fingers caressing one and your mouth on the other, switching between them, never fully committing to either, keeping her guessing as to which nipple would feel the bliss next. Karina knew what she wanted, and she simply wouldn't wait. Maybe the rush to get fucked could be blamed for all of this.
See, while you sucked her tits, she pulled down her leggings and her underwear. Maybe it was desperation, maybe it was convenience, but she didn't even pull them past her knees. Instead, as you continued your adoration, she unbuckled your belt and let your trousers fall to the floor. Your underwear didn't last long either. She gave a couple of lazy strokes up the length of your cock, just enough for her to feel it getting hard. Enough for her to know you could give her what she needs.
She twisted between you and the wall and leaned against it; her tits pressing against the white paintwork, and she stuck out her ass. "Don't hold back," she instructed. "I need it."
For all the focus you gave her tits, Karina does have a hell of an ass.
So with her arms up above her head and grasping high, she looked perfect. The swell of her hips, the curve of her ass—it was just to be grabbed and slapped. Those legs looked fucking perfect, slightly muscled from hours of dance practice but still so thin and lean. And between them... fuck. If there's such a thing as a pussy so good it should win awards then Karina better prepare her speech.
You weren't gentle.
Gentle doesn't work for her. Gentle is boring. Normal. Vanilla. Karina's tasted it all before and she's bored. You won't remember the first time she said those words to you. She made you promise not to judge her but she told you exactly how depraved and slutty she really wants to be in bed.
So when she said, "Fuck me hard," you did exactly that.
Spit on your cock was enough to get it slick. You stroked the tip up and down across her waiting pussy a couple of times and found the right place. Then you slid it right inside her, letting it rest buried for just a moment before you pulled back. You didn't even go halfway before you thrust it right back into her. Right down to the balls. Deep as you can go.
A pleasured hiss passed over clenched teeth as her cheek pressed against the wall and she nodded, just once, telling you that she wanted more. You fucked her harder, feeling her hot insides clench at your cock. Her hips smacked against the wall with each thrust, the room echoing with the sounds of your flesh coming together. The squelch of her wet hole was barely audible over her cries. Cries that steadily increased in volume the longer you held her against the wall, the more aggressively you bucked your hips against her, the harder you drove your dick into her body.
"Don't stop!" she cried out as her legs shivered.
No danger of that.
Maybe you should have.
Karina was struggling. To not fall apart in your hands, to hold herself against the wall, but also just to keep breathing as the intensity of your deep pounding washed over her, making her shudder and shake in front of you. One of her hands flew down to between her legs. The tips of her fingers went in a circle around her clit.
But as much fun as taking her against the wall was, she would fall if you continued.
So you did what you knew you could so easily do, just threw her. Her quivering body collapsed onto her bed after a small stumble. Right into the one place in the room, she shouldn't be.
See, Karina was sitting just here, maybe ten minutes earlier. You were watching, on your phone. She had chatted and joked and waved goodbye, just where you were about to fuck her.
She clambered up the bed and onto all fours, looking back at you with lust-drunk eyes, urging you on, needing to be fucked some more. So you crawled right up behind her, took a grip of those beautiful hips and you slipped your cock back inside her.
One stroke and you bottomed out within her.
Two strokes and she began moaning again.
By the third, you were slamming her forward with each push.
The bed creaked in protest as you hammered yourself into Karina, keeping up with what she wanted as she pushed back at you, meeting every buck of your hips with equal force and speed. At least one orgasm tore through her body. You felt it in the way her body contracted around your thick shaft as you drove it deep inside her, but also heard it in the way she screeched through gritted teeth. Saw it as she clawed at the blankets, grabbing handfuls of material and pulling at them as her body tensed up.
"Cum," she pleaded with just the one word.
And that's what you did. Her little pussy made sure of it. Feeling her spasm around you, squeezing your throbbing cock so tightly that you couldn't resist but join her in ecstasy. So you flooded her sweet cunt, sending ropes of cum into her waiting body, painting her walls, feeling every inch of her pussy pulse as her body urged yours to give her everything it had. Her cries mingled with the heavy panting as you emptied your balls within her.
You couldn't keep it up. Fucking Karina sometimes feels too intense, takes so much energy out of you, makes your muscles burn. So you had to withdraw from her and rest back on your haunches, catching your breath, your heart racing. But Karina is Karina.
She turned around and before you could move, she had taken hold of your thighs and moved forward. Her lips wrapped around the tip of your glistening cock and began sucking on it. As her tongue rolled across the slit and along the underside, tasting your seed and her own juices combined. Her cheeks hollowed, eyes staring up at you from behind damp hair and you felt her moans reverberating through you.
How can she do this every time? How can she make you recover so quickly? Because you did. No sooner had Karina placed her head in your lap than you grew hard again. You were left fighting that war against conflicting desires: whether to push her off and have her again or keep the pleasure of having her mouth on you. Every swirl of her tongue across the sensitive parts of your cock, the feeling of her lips gliding along its length, her throat opening and the tightness taking your crown.
"Oh shit..." you groaned. "Are you trying to kill me?"
She didn't answer but you noticed her hips wiggle slowly side-to-side.
It wasn't long before she relinquished the grasp she had on your thighs and let you pull her into position. A roll onto her back. A pillow under her lower back. You hooked one leg over your shoulder while she held the other out wide, laying right on the edge of the bed. You sank into her again and again, rocking the entire bed with each thrust.
And how you only wish now that you had at literally any point taken a look to your right. Maybe you would have questioned why her phone was still there. Maybe you would have made her check the thing was actually off.
Of course, you know now the mistake that Karina made.
You pushed her down into the bed, pressing her leg against her chest as you fucked her. Fucked her deeply. You had changed the tempo now, switched to something slower, more powerful and purposeful. That load you left in her cunt made the whole thing a mess. You pounded into her and it spilt between you, running down her ass and soaking her bedding. Karina gasped as her second climax crashed through her.
Her phone caught it all.
Every minute.
When Karina came, so loud, so hard, so intense that she didn't know who or where she was, people were watching. Her fans watched. When she said your name as she stared up into your eyes with such gratitude, they were listening. And when you came for the second time, she made sure everyone could hear.
"I feel it," she whispered, her fingers digging into your arms. "I feel it. All of it. Give me more. Fill me."
She pulled at her thighs, spreading herself open and making you groan into the crook of her neck as your throbbing dick pulsed, unleashing another load of thick cum deep within her body, making another wonderful mess. Leaving her already soaked cunt saturated. Together you lay like that, two exhausted bodies wrapped in an embrace, your cock twitching, occasionally releasing a few drops inside her. Karina giggled.
"There's nothing better than that feeling," she groaned. "Nothing... better."
She looked right into your eyes as she said it.
"It's my favourite thing in the world."
So you kissed her, both of you falling into the tangled mass of sweat-soaked blankets while you stayed on top of her. She didn't want to let go, not yet, not while the closeness and warmth were shared. Your bodies pressed together with your softening cock still inside her until eventually you slipped out and came to lie beside her. She nestled up against your chest.
In the silence that proceeded, there was a vibration across the room. Your phone is still in your pocket, somewhere on the floor. You let it ring out, while you lay there, breathing heavily. Again it vibrated. "Ugh," you groaned, "Leave me alone."
"Is someone missing you?" Karina teased.
"Doubt it," you replied.
Karina let her hand trace patterns across your chest, moving slowly towards your hip. You knew the game. Get you hard again, and ride you into the middle of next week. It worked, too. Even though you protested, her hand wrapping around your shaft soon brought it back to life. Sensitive strokes had you squirming and groaning.
"Well, whoever it is will just have to deal with the fact you're mine tonight," she purred.
Then you heard an unusual noise. Another buzz. But not your phone. From somewhere else. But you paid it no attention as Karina got up from your chest, swung her leg over you and began lowering herself down onto you. What started as slow gentle fucking quickly progressed back to something far hungrier and desperate. Her nails dragged lines across your torso, your hands gripping tightly at her waist to steady her. You watched as your cum leaked out of her cunt and onto you as she rode.
You reached between her legs and scooped up a blob, bringing it to her lips.
"Lick it," you told her. "Taste it."
And she opened wide for your fingers and cleaned them up. "That's what you wanted?"
"Yeah. Tell me what it tastes like."
"Tastes like us," she moaned, fucking you faster, pushing you deeper.
Then she leaned back, making a show of the way she rolled her hips against you. Bouncing as she impaled herself on you. Her head rolled back and her eyes closed as another orgasm approached. It built slowly, the intensity growing higher and higher until she teetered on the edge, balanced between bliss and rapture. The way her tits bounced had you hypnotised. Focus locked on her. Ignoring the phone that continued to ring.
She was close. Really close. Riding you frantically. Her moans turned into short desperate gasps until she had no voice left. You heard the scream before and saw how hard she came, but now you had front-row seats to watch it all again. Her muscles tightened and spasmed. Her rhythm faltered.
Your phone rang.
"Shit. Oh fuck!" she screamed, throwing her head back, arching her spine and freezing mid-thrust.
Her cunt gripped you tightly. Squeezing, milking. Urging you to release within her once more and give her that final gift. You felt her leak over you. Watched as her pussy throbbed as she rode out those final moments, struggling to continue as her strength failed. You grabbed her hips and did the work. Thrusting up into her repeatedly. Feeling her cum dribbling down your shaft and over your balls. Fuck, she's messy.
She panted desperately and let her arms drop by her side, staying arched and leaning back. You helped her balance. She needed it.
Your phone kept ringing.
You ignored it. You fucked up into her, wanting nothing more than to cum inside her again. Your muscles burned. You clenched your teeth. The pressure in your lower abdomen was unbearable. But you pounded up into Karina, making her call out with each thrust, while your grip on her probably turned her hips purple. The pleasure in you rose and rose, so fast, so intense, and without warning it broke.
You came again.
Holding her down and shooting your cum deep inside her. Gasping for air as you did, flooding her body with rope after rope until her insides dripped. Her thighs became glazed in the evidence of your passion.
Then you lowered her down to lie against your chest and you held her close. Until her breathing settled and you could hear her purr, "I think you've outdone yourself this time."
"I think you'll kill me," you joked in return.
"But imagine how happy I'd be if you died from giving me too many orgasms."
A laugh. Another vibration. "Whoever that is must really need me," you grumbled.
"Fuck them," she laughed.
"Why, when I can keep fucking you?"
Karina bit her lip. She seemed pleased with that answer. Then you realised that even as you softened within her, she hadn't stopped grinding against you. Making those slow circles, keeping herself stimulated and trying to get you hard again.
"You're relentless," you marvelled.
"And you love it."
"I love-"
There's a bang at the door and then a bell.
Karina groaned. She sighed. She relented.
Then she rolled off your spent cock, letting it slip from her swollen cunt and you both stared at the ceiling. "Maybe they'll go away?" you mused. They didn't.
"Come on," she huffed. "Stay there. Let me get rid of them."
You listened to her walk across the hardwood floor in her bare feet. Unstable steps courtesy of your enthusiastic rutting.
She pulled on a robe and left the room. Your phone vibrated again as she left, so finally you rolled out of the bed, crawled to find your pants and pulled the damn thing out.
More missed calls and messages than you could count, and not just one person. Your friends, Karina's friends, and... Karina's manager? Face recognition kicked in and the phone unlocked. You're staring at Karina's messy bed.
You're staring at Karina's messy bed on your screen.
The icon has the word 'live' beside it.
You're staring at Karina's messy bed on Instagram Live.
Your heart stops beating. Your breath catches in your throat. You swallow nothing. Wait. One. Two. Three.
"What the fuck are you doing!?" is the scream from across the apartment. You look at the phone again. Karina's messy bed, on Instagram Live, with millions of viewers.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
That was when the realisation of your combined carelessness struck you both—separated by a wall, finding out from two different sources.
Now, they're calling it the scandal of the century. A downright disaster.
#Karina smut#Aespa smut#male reader#kpop smut#m reader#Karina x reader#praelmas#smut#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction
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can the online lesbian community please stop treating butches like we're walking strap ons.
for years now i've had to avoid the butch lesbian tag on here because 80% of the posts are people yearning about a butch's strap on, or something else about a butch fucking them. it's fine and normal and healthy to express lesbian sexuality. being attracted to butches is good and fine, and yea of course its hot when a butch wears a strap. like duh
but when all i see people talk about is our straps (never our penises, only strap), or fantasizing about how big and strong we are, or all the things we could physically do to them, how we would be their Big Strong Butch and provide for them and take care of them and make it so that they don't have to go to work... it makes me wonder if people see us as. people. or if we're just walking workhorses and sex toys.
like, are you gonna be there for your butch in a way that doesn't involve sex when they're having a bad day? are you gonna be there to listen when they discuss butchphobia? are you gonna help them bring in their groceries because they're physically disabled and can't be strong for you? are you going to defend them when they lock up in an anxiety attack while they're being misgendered? are you going to be there to reassure them that they're still butch no matter what anyone else says? are you going to be accepting when they come out as trans, genderqueer, non binary, or another gender? are you going to treat intersex butches with dignity and respect and not immediately default to misgendering us?
are you going to be there to help them domestically? are you going to be there to help drive them to work, class or shopping because they're too disabled to drive? are you going to care about them as a person if they become too disabled to have sex anymore, experience reproductive health issues, or lose interest in sex? are you going to be normal about them telling you they're asexual? are you going to focus solely on their appearance? are you going to be normal about them being fat? are you going to listen to them when they talk about their interests? are you going to be the one that cuddles them when they wake up from a PTSD nightmare drenched in sweat and addled with fear?
or are we just walking sex toys? it's bad enough that none of the online lesbian community acknowledges that some lesbians have their own penis. god forbid a biopenis shows up. rubber dicks? a-okay. flesh and blood penis? THREAT! if folks are fiending so hard for dick, why's it gotta be a dildo? you really can't accept a butch that has a penis, whether they were born with it or got bottom surgery? you want a penis on the butch soooooooooooo bad but it has to be silicone? really? you're really gonna throw all the lesbians with dicks out despite how horny you are? what's the double standard here about? is it really that hard to treat butches like people? are we really just play things that don't have feelings to the uninitiated?
this shit's a joke. treat butches better. don't be like this. we're people. we're not walking (fake) dicks.
#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#queer#lesbian#lesbian community#butch lesbian#butch#femme lesbian#sapphic#dyke#femme dyke#butch dyke#femme sapphic#butch sapphic#intersex#transfem#transfemme#transfeminine#transmasc#transmasculine#butchposting#our writing
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This is a sidebar from my original point, but the mention of Amazon and its ubiquity makes me want to add on a theory of mine about why I think Amazon has been able to get such an insane foothold in the US market. Because the thing is, while Amazon originates in the US, it's now a global company - and yet, compared to other places in the world, it seems like Amazon's dominance over brick-and-mortar stores in the US far exceeds its grasp elsewhere. And while I was doing my Christmas shopping, I was suddenly struck by a possible explanation: the lack of walkable cities and public transport generally in America, coupled with the emphasis on strip malls rather than general commercial areas, which makes it much harder for people to quickly and easily access a wide range of goods in person.
See, in principle, I hate buying from Amazon; in practice, however, I live in a part of the US with negligible public transport and - crucially - do not have a car, which means that, if I want to buy something at at a physical shop, I'm broadly restricted to one of a handful of locations that are within a reasonable distance of my home. While I'm comparatively lucky, in that there are several such destinations to choose from, what's annoying is that it's only really feasible to rideshare to and from one of them on a single excursion, as opposed to hitting up multiple locations - and even if I had a car, these places are all far enough apart from each other that going to more than one in a single outing would take up a hefty chunk of time and involve driving on multiple freeways.
If I want to go to, say, IKEA, that's a 15-20 minute freeway drive to a location where there are no other shops nearby; if I want to go to Barnes & Noble - and I frequently do - there are three locations to choose from, but while the nearest one has the advantage of being next to my favourite boba place, the other surrounding shops contain little to nothing of interest to me, while the two more distant ones have more interesting surrounds, but no boba. There are two decently-sized Targets in driving range, but there's nothing else near each of them that makes the trip worthwhile, so I never get out there unless there's multiple specific things I need to buy, because if I only need one thing, the cost of a rideshare both ways is inevitably far more than I'd pay in shipping to get the same thing delivered.
And as best I can tell, this situation is pretty common throughout the United States. Unless you're lucky enough to live in a place with good transit and/or a thriving commercial downtown area, where you can easily walk between different kinds of shops in a single outing instead of having to drive 15 minutes, park, shop, drive 20 minutes and park again, ordering online ends up being, not just quicker and simpler, but vastly cheaper and more efficient than the alternative. Which is where Amazon enters the chat, using its shitty working conditions and vast resources to further fuck up the brick-and-mortar ecosystem, not because a majority of people inherently prefer buying shit online, but because a staggering proportion of America is expressly designed to require you to drive as much as fucking possible, even when that's the worst possible way to do things.
Whereas when I lived in Scotland, even though I had access to Amazon and would use it periodically - it was easier for Australian relatives to buy me Amazon gift cards than to either post a physical gift or buy me gift cards to UK stores, because many companies are Weird about people in one country trying to buy something online from them in a different country - for everyday needs, I could just... walk up to the local high street, from my house, on my human legs, and (if I so desired) hit up a homewares store, a hardware store, a bookshop, a pharmacy, a supermarket, a bric-a-brac place, an antique store, a cafe, the cinema, and a half-dozen other places. And this wasn't while living in a thriving metropolis: I was in St Andrews, a small university town! And if I really wanted a big day out, I could get one of the many regular buses over the water into Dundee and hit up the city center there, to exactly the same ends. Similarly, when I later lived in Aberdeen away from the city center, there wasn't much in walking distance of my house, unless I felt like trekking 40 minutes over to the nearest shopping complex - which I sometimes did, stroller and all, with my then-toddler in tow, because even if I got all tired out, I knew there'd be a bus to take me back home again. But I could also hop a different bus from the stop in my street and go straight to the city center, where - again - I could walk around hundreds of different shops with ease. Ditto every part of Australia I've ever lived in: even without a car, restricted to public transport or walking while toting around a small child, I was never reliant on internet shopping to get basic goods, because there was enough infrastructure that I could manage. And I'm not saying that's true of every part of Australia or the UK - rural areas in both countries are frequently very isolated and underserved by their local governments. But the difference now that I live in the US is stark.
Because here, the roads dominate. Freeways break up everything, and while there's a few nice commercial areas near me - streets with interesting shops and things to see - you cannot just hop a bus or train to access them, and even then, they don't flow naturally into the same sort of area the next suburb over: there's always a massive fucking multi-lane roadway in between, and the distance, even if walkable in theory, can be difficult to navigate on foot, because it's not designed with foot traffic in mind. You have to drive, and if you can't do that, then those places may as well not exist - and overwhelmingly, what you're left with access to instead are strip malls: clusters of random chain stores linked by a massive carpark and frequently situated in places with nothing else nearby; or at least, nothing else you can easily access without having to drive and park again.
And I genuinely think that this is a big part of why America has become so dependent on Amazon, as well as big box, everything-under-the-sun stores like Target and Wallmart: because without an abundance of accessible, walkable, local commercial centers, with all the greater variety they provide, they're the easiest, most efficient way for a car-dependent commuter populace - especially one so frequently time-poor, overworked, and underpaid - to buy shit.
Which suggests to me, very strongly, that one of the best ways to combat the dominance of not just Amazon, but big box chain stores, is to build functional public transport and walkable communities with decent commercial zoning - because the more people can easily access a variety of goods local to them, the less they'll need to be reliant on a few megacorps. So in the event that you needed another reason to support walkable communities and public transit: this is it. Fuck Amazon.
there is no ethical consumption under capitalism
Years ago now, I remember seeing the rape prevention advice so frequently given to young women - things like dressing sensibly, not going out late, never being alone, always watching your drink - reframed as meaning, essentially, "make sure he rapes the other girl." This struck a powerful chord with me, because it cuts right to the heart of the matter: that telling someone how to lower their own chances of victimhood doesn't stop perpetrators from existing. Instead, it treats the existence of perpetrators as a foregone conclusion, such that the only thing anyone can do is try, by their own actions, to be a less appealing or more difficult victim.
And the thing is, ever since the assassination of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson, I've kept on thinking about how, in this day and age, CEOs of big companies often have an equal or greater impact on the day to day lives of regular people than our elected officials, and yet we have almost no legal way to redress any grievances against them - even when their actions, as in the case of Thompson's stewardship of UHC, arguably see them perpetrating manslaughter at scale through tactics like claims denial. That this is a real, recurring thing that happens makes the American healthcare insurance industry a particularly pernicious example, but it's far from being the only one. Because the original premise of the free market - the idea that we effectively "vote" for or against businesses with our dollars, thereby causing them to sink or swim on their individual merits - is utterly broken, and has been for decades, assuming it was ever true at all. In this age of megacorporations and global supply chains, the vast majority of people are dependent on corporations for necessities such as gas, electricity, internet access, water, food, housing and medical care, which means the consumer base is, to all intents and purposes, a captive market. We might not have to buy a specific brand, but we have to buy a brand, and as businesses are constantly competing with one another to bring in profits, not just for the company and its workers, but for C-suites and shareholders - profits that increasingly come at the expense of workers and consumers alike - the greediest, most inhumane corporations set the financial yardstick against which all others are then, of necessity, measured. Which means that, while businesses are not obliged to be greedy and inhumane in order to exist, overwhelmingly, they become greedy and humane in order to compete, because capitalism encourages it, and because there are precious few legal restrictions to stop them from doing so. At the same time, a handful of megacorporations own so many market-dominating brands that, without both significant personal wealth and the time and resources to find viable alternatives, it's all but impossible to avoid them, while the ubiquity of the global supply chain means that, even if you can keep track of which company owns which brand, it's much, much harder to establish which suppliers provide the components that are used in the products bearing their labels. Consider, for instance, how many mainstream American brands are functionally run on sweatshop labour in other parts of the world: places where these big corporations have outsourced their workforce to skirt the already minimal labour and wage protections they'd be obliged to adhere to in the US, all to produce (say) electronics whose elevated sticker price passes a profit on to the company, but without resulting in higher wages for either the sweatshop workers overseas or the American employees selling the products in branded US stores.
When basically every major electronics corporation is engaged in similar business practices, there is no "vote" our money can bring that causes the industry itself to be better regulated - and as wealthy, powerful lobbyists from these industries continue to pay exorbitant sums of money to politicians to keep government regulation at a minimum, even our actual votes can do little to effect any sort of change. But even in those rare instances where new regulations are passed, for multinational corporations, laws passed in one country overwhelmingly don't prevent them from acting abusively overseas, exploiting more desperate populations and cash-poor governments to the same greedy, inhumane ends. And where the ultimate legal penalty for proven transgressions is, more often than not, a fine - which is to say, a fee; which is to say, an amount which, while astronomical by the standards of regular people, still frequently costs the company less than the profits earned through their unethical practices, and which is paid from corporate coffers rather than the bank accounts of the CEOs who made the decisions - big corporations are, in essence, free to act as badly as they can afford to; which is to say, very. Contrary to the promise of the free market, therefore, we as consumers cannot meaningfully "vote" with our dollars in a way that causes "good" businesses to rise to the top, because everything is too interconnected. Our choices under global capitalism are meaningless, because there is no other system we can financially support that stands in opposition to it, and while there are still small businesses and companies who try to operate ethically, both their comparative smallness and their interdependent reliance on the global supply chain means that, even if we feel better about our choices, we're not exerting any meaningful pressure on the system we're trying to change. Which means that, under the free market, trying to be an ethical consumer is functionally equivalent to a young woman dressing modestly, not going out alone and minding her drink at parties in order to avoid being raped. We're not preventing corporate predation or sending a message to corporate predators: we're just making sure they screw other worker, the other consumer, the other guy.
All of which is to say: while I'd prefer not to live in a world where shooting someone dead in the street is considered a valid means of redressing grievances, what the murder of Brian Thompson has shown is that, if you provide no meaningful recourse for justice against abusive, exploitative members of the 1%, then violence done to those people will have the feel of justice, because it fills the void left by the lack of consequences for their actions. It's the same reason why people had little sympathy for the jackass OceanGate CEO who killed himself in his imploding sub, or anyone whose yacht has been attacked by orcas - it's just intensified here, because where the OceanGate CEO was felled by hubris and the yachts were random casualties, whoever killed Thomspon did so deliberately, because of what he did. It was direct action against a man whose policies very arguably constituted manslaughter at scale; a crime which ought to be a crime, but which has, to date, been permitted under the law. And if the law wouldn't stop him, can anyone be surprised that someone might act outside the law in retaliation - or that regular people would cheer for them when they did?
#late stage capitalism#capitalism#america#big box stores#amazon#walkable communities#urban design#urban planning#walkable cities#public transit#public transportation#urbanism
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THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS
pairing: max verstappen x singer reader
summary: the one in the wake of reputation, people begin to forget and a new story is written
warning: ill come back to it (i didn't but theirs nothing just vague mentions of past mental health issues and online hate)
a/n: only one more part :(
face claim: sabrina carpenter
f1 masterlist
main masterilst
series masterlist
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yourusername to celebrate a month as billboards no. 1 album, ready for it...? mv out now
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The atmosphere of the set was buzzing with energy, y/n sitting in the directors set as she watched the chaos in front of her unfold. Her makeup artist was adding the final bits of eyeshadow to her smokey eye as y/n rewatched some old takes of a scene. Max watched, slightly awkwardly, from the side, a soft smile on his face, his reflection expressing awe.
From the corner of her eye Y/n could see him staring at her and turned to face him with a playful smirk, "How do I look?"
"Like your about to break the internet." Max said, a little smirk on his face though his eyes shone with pride.
She rolled her eyes, laughing. "You say that every time."
"Because it’s true every time," Max shot back, his grin widening.
As she went to get up Max kissed her shoulder quickly before letting her get to work. She laughed slightly at the simple display of affection before whispering in his ear, "You're my good luck charm, Verstappen." He watched as she ran off, intensely aware of the box that sat heavily in his pocket.
"Just don't forget me when you're topping the charts Schatje."
Before the cameras started rolling Y/n made eye contact with Max from the set, mouthing an I love you.
(this was set before they got engaged just an fyi)
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yourusername GETAWAY CAR MV IS OUT NOW <3
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Y/n felt very secure, hidden away in her trailer which was only illuminated by the soft glow of fairly lights strung along the edges of her mirror. She lay on the couch going through her storyboard, Max on top of her, weight heavy. His head rested on her chest as his hand absentmindedly played with the hem of her top, occasionally pressing kissing against her stomach.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your cameo, Mr. Superstar?” she teased, glancing down at him with a playful smirk.
Max grinned up at her, his eyes twinkling with a mischievous sparkle. “I am ready. My job is just to stand there and look good, right?”
“Pretty much,” Y/n quipped, running her fingers gently through his hair. “And don’t forget to smolder. That’s very important.”
Max chuckled, closing his eyes as he leaned into her touch. “I’ll smolder for you and only you, liefde.”
The door to the trailer creaked open, and y/ns assistant peeked in. “Y/n, five minutes to set.”
“Got it,” she replied, her fingers pausing briefly in Max’s hair. The PA disappeared, leaving them in their little bubble of quiet.
“You’re gonna kill it,” Max murmured, his voice soft but sure. He sat up, leaning forward to cup her face with both hands. “Every time I see you work, I fall for you all over again.”
Y/n’s cheeks flushed, and she let out a small laugh. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“Ridiculously in love with you,” he replied, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead, then her nose, then her lips. “Now go show everyone why you’re the star.”
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y/nsprivate someweirdo took over my trailer and started hogging everything
y/nsfuturehusband HEY THATS NOT NICE!!!
-> y/nsprivate KIDDING AND I LOVE AND THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU
-> y/nsfuturehusband CALL ME RN PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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The soft hum of the TV filled the quiet apartment, but Y/n wasn’t really watching. She sat curled up on the couch, knees drawn to her chest, her fingers absentmindedly tugging at the loose threads of her hoodie. Her eyes were fixed on nothing in particular as her mind raced with negative thoughts and memories she wished she could forget.
Max walked in from the kitchen, holding two mugs of tea. His smile faded the second he noticed her expression. Setting the mugs down on the coffee table, he knelt in front of her, his hands gently covering hers to still their nervous movements.
“Liefde,” he said softly, his voice laced with concern, “what’s going on?”
She shook her head, biting her lip as tears welled up in her eyes. “I don’t even know how to explain it,” she whispered.
Max’s heart ached at the sight of her like this. He slid onto the couch beside her, wrapping his arms around her tightly, as if he could shield her from the ghosts of her past. “You don’t have to explain it,” he murmured. “You don’t have to do anything. Just let me be here for you.”
Y/n let out a shaky breath as she buried her face in his chest, her tears soaking into his shirt. “I hate feeling like this,” she admitted, her voice muffled. “Like I’m broken or something.”
“You’re not broken,” Max said firmly, pulling back just enough to tilt her chin up so she’d look at him. His blue eyes were filled with unwavering determination. “You’re strong, Y/n. Stronger than you know. What you’ve been through doesn’t define you. You’ve come so far, and I’m so proud of you for that.”
A small sob escaped her, and Max wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “And when it feels too heavy,” he continued softly, “lean on me. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself. We’re a team, remember?”
She nodded, her grip on him tightening. “Thank you, Max. For always being here.”
He pressed a kiss to her temple, resting his cheek against her hair. “Always, liefde. You’re stuck with me.” He whispered softly, playing with the ring on her finger.
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yourusername MRS & MR VERSTAPPEN - 24/11/25.
maxverstappen1 couldn't be happier to call you my wife
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a/n
MERRY CHRISTMAS I HOPE YOU ALL GOT SPOILT
ALSO PRAYING FOR MY SWIFTIES IN MOURNING THIS IS FOR YOU
Hey everyone, I just wanted to pop on her and say thank you for all of the support you guys have given me since I first posted this fic. As a writer it is something that's very difficult and vulnerable to put your work out their and for this series to receive as much positive attention as it has gotten is nothing short of remarkable. Sorry for how long its taken for me to get this part out but i've just been struggling with the motivation to write it more or less cause I haven't wanted this series to end but it needs to one way or another. This part marks the official end of the series although I still will write and publish thank you aimee at some point as a bonus chapter since it doesn't really fit into the main post category. I will also at some point post the insta and other snippets that I came up with that just couldn't fit into the main story line of this series. Its sad that this is over but their will be many more things to come. As a bonus note part of the reason why I haven't been super active is i've been working on my book (wrote 10K+ words last week) which i'm super excited about. Also (again IK) the first part of my charles series should be up tomorrow so check that one out if you want :). I've kind of made the decision that this series and the charles series (with a short lando series in the future) exist in the same universe so i can keep max and y/ns story existing in that one aswell (purely because i can't let this series go). The first part of the charles series will be up tomorrow so check that one out if you want. I love you all so much and will miss this series so much :(.
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#f1 fluff#f1 series#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 x reader#formula 1#max verstappen#f1 masterlist#max verstappen fic#max verstappen angst#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#reputation series#repuation
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I’m part of nature right? Photograph me! - Zhou Guanyu x Photographer! Reader
Plot: You’re a nature photographer… but end up at an F1 race?
You’d worked for the national geographic since you could remember. It started with you submitting a picture you took, age 10 on your first camera for the CountryFile Calendar. Then you’re parents helped you make an account online where you posted all your ‘professional’ pictures on. And then you went to university and managed to get an internship with the national geographic where you’d worked your way up ever since.
You’d always loved nature so being able to travel all the time for your job around the world to see what it had to offer was your favourite thing.
You’d been in Japan for about a year covering Fuji and an upcoming documentary, getting loads of content while exploring the country for all it had to offer and making tons of local friends.
One of those local friends was a fellow photographer and invited to an F1 race which was where he took his pictures.
You’d agreed to come after seeing the expensive and once in a lifetime paddock tickets being flashed in front of your face before prepping your camera and everything you might need.
You didn’t know what to expect.
“Lots of car noises, lots of people, it’s hard to get the pictures especially of the drivers as they’re constantly on the move. And the cars … they’re even harder to get” the friend says as he starts to take picture of a driver in orange who’s walking away in his race suit towards the mechanics in the garage.
“Yeah I can tell it’s so different yet so similar to nature in a weird way” you grin.
Yes, there was hours that you were waiting with just the whisps of wind around you and little scurries of feet or tails going through the grass until there were fights between Stags on a cliff. Or a baby monkey peaking out from behind his mother. Which here, amongst all the chaos you were waiting for the one moment … the opposite yet the same.
And do you did. You waited getting the perfect shots of some of the drivers. One that took you most by surprise was Zhou Guanyu in the Neon Green and Black racing suit that matched his car.
“Who’s that?” You ask the friend who looks away from his camera lens pointed towards one of the garages.
“Mmmm he’s the Chinese driver for Sauber. Or Stake. They have a really long ass name so it’s kinda confusing but his name is Zhou Guanyu” he offers looking at where you’re concentrated on.
“I like his helmet. It has cute little animals on it!” You grin having taking a picture of the helmet held down by his leg rather than the driver himself.
Once it came to the actual race you spent lots of time trying to fix your settings to fit the car. There was so much going on that you could get and you didn’t really know where to start and what to have your lens focus on. It was incredibly overwhelming.
You got some good pictures, some even encapsulating your love on nature in them. Using the cherry blossom around the track.
You were looking around the paddock for your friend who you’d come with, camera held against your chest the neck strap holding most of the weight.
As you pause in the middle of the busy walkway to look around for anything familiar you hear a voice shout to you.
“Hey! Watch out!” The voice says, and at first you didn’t register that they were talking to you, until you were pulled to one side.
You look just where you were stood to see a driver go zooming past on a scooter. No regard for anything other than their destination.
“You’ve got to be careful it’s busy here” the same voice says and it’s the first time you look up at them.
It was the guy you’d noticed earlier except now he wasn’t in his green and black race suit. He was actually really fashionable, your fingers twitched on instinct at your camera. Whenever you saw something pretty you had to take a picture and right now he read the prettiest thing around.
“Are you okay?” He asks at your silence.
“Erm, yes sorry I - it was my fault I was looking for my friend and I think I got a little lost. It’s my first time taking pictures at a race, you see I’m usuallya photographer in nature. But I’ve been living in Japan for a while now and this friend asked me to come here to Suzuka with him as he takes pictures of the cars and … now I’m rambling and you probably don’t care” you smile awkwardly at the man in front of you who wears a grin.
“It’s okay, keep talking. I could listen to you all day, you have a pretty voice” he smirks and when you look at his whole face your brain sort of short circuits.
God he was pretty.
“I erm, well did you want to see the pictures I took! I think I got one of your car. But erm I didn’t get many because I had this spot and was taking pictures of the cars with the cherry blossom, see look at this red car, I think that’s the Ferrari right?” You ask showing him the picture of the red car surrounded by the cherry blossom you’d found. “But you’re car colours didn’t really look great with the light pink, but I got some really cool pics of you when it started to rain see!” You smile showing him the picture you’d got.
“Woah these are really cool! You said you photographed nature?” He asks cocking his head to the side.
“Oh yeah! I work for the national geographic, it’s like a ma-“ you start but he just laughs.
“I’m… familiar with the national geographic, that’s pretty impressive” he grins and you blush forgetting that you’d worked for a big international company and not a small niche side shop in Manchester anymore.
“Oh, right yeah of course you are!” You stutter awkwardly.
“You know I’m part of nature why don’t you photograph me?” He asks in a teasing tone.
“Actually, I’d love too, right now where the sun is setting it’s getting the perfect sheen across your eyes and then the backdrop of the track is super cool and with this lens it will come out super clear and… sorry” you say looking down and he just laughs.
“Go on take the picture” he prompts making you grin and take a careful step back, making sure you aren’t in the way. You snap a few pictures of him, he seems to naturally look good on camera. It was actually like the camera was secretly drawn to him.
“Maybe we could grab a coffee and you can show me round your favourite places in Japan while you show me your photos?” He asks confidently and your brain malfunctions once again, as you’re about to snap the last picture.
Was this guy asking you on a date? You couldn’t help but wonder to yourself as you watched his face ease into a smile as he patiently waited for you answer.
“YES” you blurt out before covering your mouth embarrassed by how brash you’d sounded.
“Sorry erm yes I would love too! When are you … like done up around here I’m not too familiar with … it all” you laugh looking around the paddock that’s starting to be packed away.
“I can leave now, I just have to check out with the team. Why don’t you wait for me by the paddock entrance and we can get the train to where you’re going to take me?” He asks and you nod, he gives your hand a little squeeze before running off towards the Stake hospitality.
You say goodbye to your friend who you found on your way out, who didn’t want to leave you all alone at first not believing who you were meeting but when you assured him you’d be okay he nodded and left.
You were waiting for what felt like hours until you saw Zhou come running towards you.
“Sorry that took longer than I expected. Now where were we?” He asks with a smile taking your hand.
“To the train station. We’re going to Osaka” you smile. It was one of your favourite (that was easily accessible) places in Japan.
“I’ve never been! I’m very excited” he grins as you guys walk out and towards the train station.
You guys spent the evening in Osaka, you showed him all your favourite street foods, and the first places you’d visited. You told him the story where you’d got lost and an old Japanese man tired to help you, with your broken mix of English and the Japanese you’d picked up.
He didn’t really have many stories but he was more than happy to listen to you. Chip in every now and then when he felt necessary or had something of value to say.
“Next year you can come to China, not just for the race but I think you’ll enjoy taking pictures there!” He smiles and you grin.
“That’s actually my next assignment” you admit.
“What?!” He asks in shock.
“I’m on the Asia leg right now. We normally switch out every few years so before Japan I was in Cambodia for 2 months, then Japan and then I’m moving into China” you explain.
“You know what, we might just be soulmates” he teases as he bites into the Tokoyaki you’d brought for him to try bumping his shoulder against yours.
“Yeah?” You laugh, taking a bite of your own salty deep fried goodness.
“Mmmmm yeah” he smiles.
y/user
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y/user: Really different environment this weekend in 🇯🇵. Really had a great time learning what it takes to be a car photographer and it’s really not for the weak. I think I’ll stick with nature for now.
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zhouguanyu24: it was nice to meet you. I hope to see you at another race 🏁
-> y/user: it was incredible to meet you too!
fan1: who is this KYMILLMAN wannabe
-> fan2: she’s a photographer for the national geo. She went to an f1 race for leisure and obviously got some of the best pictures ever
fan3: my goat
fan4: who did you have the most fun meeting?
-> y/user: meeting Zhou was the highlight of my trip 👍🏼
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Day out in Japan 🇯��
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1#formula one#formula one fanfiction#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula 1 imagine#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one smut#formula one imagine#zhou guanyu oneshot#zhou guanyu fanfic#zhou guanyu x you#zhou guanyu imagine#zhou guanyu x reader#zhou guanyu#zg24 fanfic#zg24 oneshot#zg24 fic#zg24 imagine#zg24 saub#zg24
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What do you think Dan and Phil will do in 2025?what kinda mischief will they get themselves in this time.
i'm a little sus of their 'prepare for the march thing' that they've alluded to in a preshow qna. there's also the 'you haven't seen dan and phil 2.0 yet' comment. but mischief? hmmm
i forsee a wdapteo 5 in our future. people have suggested it as 'promo' for the uk leg, but most of those shows are sold out already (and have been for months LMAO)
i desperately hope they film one of the london shows, so tit can be posted to yt
im also so sus of the iceland show, i'll say it. there's gonna be Something that goes down, either at the show or after.
february is gonna be quiet; they need the rest and so do we.
march: dog. and we'll all go wild. his name will either be john or barkypants.
im not sure how they'll top this year's april fools, but i'm sure it'll be much less produced and even more insane (just cause i don't see them returning to dapc)
tit is finally posted to youtube, they sell the merch online, though no dad hats bc they can't keep up with the paperwork for all of us
they couldn't do it this year bc tour so i'm predicting dnp pride merch
will they travel for summer again? i think they enjoyed turkiye. they'll find a way to be even more boyfriends if they do
they give confirmation that the phouse will never be finished actually
...september is a great time to get married wouldn't you agree
they clown on us so bad by being bert and ernie for halloween
calendar theme: dan and phil and a goddamn good night's sleep
they're gonna do gamingmas and none of us will be ready for the 'ultimate' video on the 24th
(my not so secret wish this year is for a dan iom picture again 🙏)
#yes i said 2 merch things back to back. what of it. they do this all the time 🤣#realism with a dash of sarcasm and humour#i hope you enjoy anon!#dnp#c.text#dan and phil#phan#dnptit#answered
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okay, lemme "yes, and" this
i support and condone the message, joffy you're entirely correct about numbers not being the representation of worth of any given art piece
HOWEVER
you (any person reading this posting stuff online) have the right to be upset when something you made doesn't get as much of those numbers as you want it to. the fact that social media stats don't represent the worth of your work can coexist with your sadness about not getting as much recognition as you want. it doesn't automatically make you insecure, too dependant on opinions of others, etc. we're social creatures, we crave recognition and feedback and love and it is absolutely normal to feel discontent about not getting enough of it
what I'm trying to say is – don't let numbers on screen dictate what you do and what you create. if you made a thing and noone clicked reblog on it but you liked making the thing – make more of it. if you made a thing and it did a shitton of numbers but you don't want to make more – don't feel pressured to make more. if you made a thing that you liked to make and everyone else also liked the thing – horray, you found your people!!
but it's normal to be sad, frustrated, even heartbroken about those numbers, it doesn't make you stupid or shallow. it's normal, i promise. it's hard to just stop feeling things about social media stats because no matter how "not real those numbers are" they still feel real. and they are in a sense. there are real people behind at least part of the engagement, and we humans want other humans to see what we do and to like it. we need support. you can create in and into a void, but it becomes so so so much easier and happier when the void answers back
it kinda reminds me of body neutrality versus body positivity. forcing yourself to feel love is hard and often dishonest, but trying to feel neutral is much easier.
you can't just erase your want for recognition and I don't think you should. "im gonna do what i want and fuck what everyone thinks" is good as a starting point, but it can quickly lead to "why am i sad when i nobody likes what i do im so shallow" and that just adds more hurt. don't force yourself to be what you're not. don't force yourself to make art you don't want to or don't make art you wanna make. don't force yourself to stop feeling feelings.
you're allowed to feel hurt about "silly numbers on screen". this hurt is valid. don't let it stop you though.
DO ART FOR YOU! 🫵
FUCK EVERYONE ELSE!!!
Seriously.
I'm so sick and weary of logging on here and seeing creators I adore, and people I don't even know alike, apologising for not uploading or basically begging for a break like they're not a human with needs.
You're literally a human being, with thoughts, feelings and emotions. You're not an art factory, you're not some positivity pump, you're nothing other than a genuine human being living a genuine life experience.
SO GO LIVE IT!!!
YOU OWE THE INTERNET NOTHING!!!!
There should be, and realistically is, no shame in just fucking leaving if you want to. There's no contract you signed, there's no permit you bought or lease you hold. You're a person who decided to share their art with the world, FOR FREE, and garnered an audience of faceless people behind screens who enjoy that art because YOU wanted to make it and share it.
Let me be frank as best I can. You owe the internet nothing, you owe the world nothing and you owe yourself EVERYTHING. You are the only person who can live your life, you are the only person who can create the things you create and you are the only motherfucker that should matter to you when you create those things.
Art is supposed to be a wondrous joy that inspires the mind and indulges ideas that other creatures can't even comprehend. It's supposed to be a magical and fun fantasy land where anything is possible because you make it possible. It's not a 9-5 unless you make it one, so stop making your hobby a 9-5 unless you're getting paid for it, and even then put in limits because no job that you choose to do should end in you burnt out and wishing you'd never started in the first place.
Remember when we were all kids? When we all drew and wrote for fun simply because we could? We'd show people are shit and be like "Mama look!" and she'd clap her hands all proud. But she wasn't why you picked up that crayon, you just did it for you because you wanted to make some shit.
That's how it should be. That's how it is unless you let those fake ass numbers on a screen rule your life. It's all meaningless, the praise may be genuine but that doesn't mean you should spend your whole life running in circles and performing for an audience.
Be a human being! Be an artist! Fuck everyone else!
Just be yourself <3
#obviously there's nuance to this#when your feelings about online engagement start to consume your life something needs to be done about it#and there's most definitely something important i didn't mention#so like listen to what you feel while reading this post idk#honestly i could write a whole another post about validity of negative feelings#and how “no don't worry your X is great!” is a well-meaning sentiment that often helps#but that it shouldn't be an answer to everything#and probably i will write it#it's been floating in my mind for a while now#if you wanna add something to what i sad or argue some of my points please do#ada ramblings
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With A Little Help From My Friends ⋆⁺₊❅.
Oscar Piastri ⋆.⋆✴︎˚。⋆ˎˊ˗
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Formula 1 college hockey team social media AU! Instagram Edition
The tight-knit college hockey team, the Silver Blades, run by team captain Max Verstappen, isn't just about scoring goals—it's a chosen family. On and off the ice, the team has each other's backs, whether that's through college assignments, throwing awesome parties, or winning the championship together. Follow these overworked, tired, college students as they post through their day-to-day life.
⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅.⋆⁺₊❅.
⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅.⋆⁺₊❅.
liked by AlexandraSaintM, LandoNorris4, and others
OscarJP We took the kids outside
tagged ItsYourname
View Comments
AlexandraSaintM UGH! my queen, thank you oscar, i really needed this today
OscarJP I know what the people need
LandoNorris4 AHH OMG JACK FNQEFE AND BAILEY AWEE SJCJIFOEW (liked by OscarJP)
CollegeHockeyFan we love to see healthy siblings in a loving home (jack and bailey)
MaxVerstappen i need to know they love me
DanielRicciardo you are not their godfather i am therefore they love me not you
MaxVerstappen @OscarJp LITERALLY SINCE FUCKING WHEN??!?!?!!??
OscarJP He literally just made that up??? Our cats don't have godfathers
ItsYourname and even if they did they SURE as hell wouldn't be either of you monsters
DanielRicciardo homophobia (liked by MaxVerstappen)
ItsYourname i am cold (liked by OscarJP)
RandomHockeyFan they 😭 literally 😭 have 😭 a 😭 family 😭 screaming 😭 crying 😭 throwing 😭 up
view all comments!
⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅.⋆⁺₊❅.
liked by CharLeclerc, LilyMuniHe, and others
OscarJP Hockey stuff lately
tagged ChargingSarge and Albono
View Comments
ChargingSarge If Alex shoots one more hockey puck at me I think I would literally crumble on the spot
Albono Oh come on, they weren't even hitting you (liked by OscarJP)
ChargingSarge UHHH I'M PRETTY SURE I WOULD KNOW IF THEY WEREN'T HITTING ME ALEX
RandomHockeyFan I have hopes for better playing this season, seems like they've got a strong team built, even some newbies.
Random Who new has been added? I thought it's been the same players since Lando and Oscar arrived with Logan and Yuki???
RandomFan Franco Colapinto!!!!! He's actually a freshmen, so it'll be interesting to see how this plays out
GeorgeRus Have Jersey in the laundry room by 9 if you want it washed. (liked by OscarJP)
YukiTsunoda22 sorry again osc, i let the blind rage take hold, soup in the kitchen
OscarJP All good Yuki, thanks mate
view all comments!
⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅.⋆⁺₊❅.
liked by MaxVerstappen, Franco43Colapinto, and others
OscarJP 5 years, it never gets old :))
tagged ItsYourname
View Comments
LandoNorris4 WAAHHHHHH 😭🙏 M-MY MY BABBIEESSS 🥹🥹🥹🥹 !!!!!!!
OscarJP Lando we've been dating longer then we've known you
ItsYourname WAHHH LANDDOOO 😭 😭 😭 😭 I LOVE YOU
LewHamilton I love to see it in my feed. (liked by OscarJP)
DanielRicciardo mama y papa?
MaxVerstappen I hope you guys know you literally have the longest, most stable relationship I've ever seen in my life, genuinely.
ItsYourname is this trauma dumping?
ItsYourname AYYYYY PASTA WAS BOMB
OscarJP Is that all you want to say?
ItsYourname AYYYYY dick was also bomb? (liked by OscarJP)
ItsYourname i love you ♡
OscarJP I love you too!
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liked by ItsYourname, LewHamilton, and others
OscarJP Team wins a championship and all of a sudden I'm in a suit (I hope we get invited back next year)
tagged CharLeclerc, GeorgeRus, MaxVerstappen, LilyMuniHe, AlexandraSaintM, LandoNorris4
View Comments
ItsYourname OSCARRRR !!!!!!!! LOOK AT YOUUU !!!!!!!! (liked by OscarJP)
ItsYourname my favorite most polite cat in the world !!! 🥹🥹🥹
OscarJp What did I say about calling me a cat online
MaxVerstappen Great work this year Oscar, keep it up. (liked by OscarJP)
OscarJP Appreciate it man
CharLeclerc Proud dad moment 🥹
OscarJP I am not your son Charles (thanks dad)
Albono 4 points up next season, betting it now (liked by OscarJP)
view all comments!
⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅. ⋆⁺₊❅.⋆⁺₊❅.
#oscar piastri#osc#polite cat#oscar piastri x reader#i love oscar#mclaren racing#formula 1#f1#college au#hockey au#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lando norris#daniel ricciardo#alex albon#logan sargeant#george russell#lewis hamilton#yuki tsunoda#franco colapinto#alexandra saint mleux#lily muni he#y/n
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Three | Reader X Carlos Sainz X Rebecca Donaldson
really short, I just needed to deal with this idea before I combust, but it was made with love ❤️
Warnings: online bs, haters
Face claim: Anne-Marie
Imrebeccad
Imrebeccad Weekend with mine truly 🩷
View all comments
Carlossainz55 Guapas!! Liked by the author ❤️
Ynishere The 😝 duo is here!
User2 The way she puts her bestie first is iconic
User6 bros before hoes!!!!!!
User9 can we talk about how y/n looks like Rebecca and Carlos emo daughter?
→ ynishere @/carlossainz55 @/imrebeccad they're calling you both old!
→ user9 I'M NOT
→ carlossainz55 @/ynishere you're too young!
→ ynishere I'M 5 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU THAT'S NOT MUCH
User14 Carlos comment tho 😐
ynishere
Ynishere Pretty women only 🙏🏼
View all comments
Imrebeccad I love you, pretty! ❤️
→ ynishere love you too, bella! 🩷
Carlossainz55 Hermosas de mi corazón Liked by the author & imrebeccad
User8 if I was Rebecca I would be screaming and crying with Carlos comments on yn's posts, like what does he mean BEAUTIFUL OF MY HEART? No please kill me already
User3 literally a family
User22 the only place yn is not giving emo is the beach
→ ynishere Forgive me father for I have sin 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Landonorris Carlos in the back thinking about how he managed to the girl
→ ynishere I also got the girl!
→ landonorris and the boy
Carlossainz55
Carlossainz55 Great company ❤️
View all comments
User44 nuh uh! This is weird as shit! If Carlos is not cheating, he definitely wants to!
imrebeccad My favourite company, my two favourite persons in the entire world!
User66 everyone is dressed so nice and yn is in a hoodie... How did Carlos choose to cheat on Rebecca WITH HER?
Ynishere Maybe I do look like the weird daughter...
→ imrebeccad don't fuel the daughter allegations!
→ carlossainz55 I'm not old enough to be your father, please, stop
→ ynishere you two are boring...
User56 ok Rebecca, love, she WANTS YOUR MAN!
Landonorris Lucky man
User86 100% not emo anymore
Imrebeccad posted a stories
ynishere
Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boys
Ynishere Carlos real reaction to the first pic, like 100% real! No clickbait ❌
(got tired of high heels never again)
View all comments
User76 I don't know who's more of a whore around here
User49 Since when this became a whore house?!
Imrebeccad Nice job with the censoring!
→ ynishere thank you!
User98 So Rebecca is the whore, but Carlos what in...
User44 the girl befriended Rebecca just to try to end her relationship SUCH A BITCH
carlossainz55 caught in 4K as you might say
→ ynishere glad you know
This comments are now limited
Carlossainz55 and imrebeccad
Carlossainz55 I wasn't supposed to post this, so I'll deal with the consequences of this later, but I have something to tell you guys. I've been seen so many shitty comments on yn's posts, calling her all sort of names that doesn't describe her in the least! She is the most caring, loving, funny, energetic, talkative person I ever met. Everything Rebecca and I can say are good things, and see people that don't know her at all talking shit gives me a headache. Yn say she doesn't care because it is not true, but I now she cares. I came here to straight things up, I'm not cheating on anyone, Rebecca neither, we're just three people that love eachother, and will keep loving eachother till death, you liking it or not. Please me respectful with the two girls that I love, they don't deserve all this bullshit.
View all comments
Ynishere I'm too punk rock, I can't cry!
→ imrebeccad she is in fact crying
Ynishere I love you two so much!!!
User4 oh
User66 didn't expected this one
Landonorris Is the Spanish accent isn't it?
→ ynishere yes
→ imrebeccad it helps
Charlesleclerc FINALLY JESUS CHRIST
Scuderiaferarri PR will contact you soon they're currently crying and shipping the new throuple (can't blame them) and @/Williamsracing good luck next year
→ Williamsracing We're READY! Blue will suit you well @/ynishere
→ ynishere @/Williamsracing I love you already 💙
Imrebeccad my two true loves ❤️
Danielricciardo ok, why all the juicy stuff happens after I got out?
#carlos sainz x reader#rebecca donaldson#carlos sainz x reader x rebecca donaldson#f1 x reader#f1 social media au
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Online Matchup 12
Summery: Something seems to be going on with Jason. Instead of pushing him, Y/n lets him be and talks to friends.
Warning: swearing
I Tag list: @teapartydreams @adorabluesposts
ao3 Series master list
A/n: Happy holidays! Have a filler, it’s a little angsty but it ends in a happy. I know I've been just posting just this pic. I'm having a bit of a hard time ending the other fics but hope to get them done in January. That is my goal.
—————
March 22
Y/N (7:37 am)
How’d it going today?
Y/n (8:58am)
I burnt my breakfast
I don’t even know how that happened
I looked away for a minute and the next thing I know
The smoke detector went off and there’s smoke in the kitchen
D:
I’m so sad
Now I don’t have anything to eat and I’m late for school
Y/n (10:00am)
I am not sure why I thought getting my engineering degree was a good idea
Nothing my teacher is saying is making sense
I want to go home
Y/N (1:28pm)
So, classes are done but now I have to work
With the amount of sleep I didn’t get
Work is the last thing I want to do
Y/n (3:43pm)
I made another fire again today
Downside, they docked my pay a little
Upside, I get to go home early today
So there’s that
Y/n (4:39 pm)
I hope you’re doing okay
Y/n (5:04 pm)
Hey Steph?
Is Jason okay?
Stephanie
What do you mean?
Y/n
I don’t know
I haven’t heard from him today
I just want to know if he’s okay
Stephanie
He hasn’t talked to you at all today?!.
Y/n
No, and we didn’t get into a fight
Did something happen?
Stephanie
Yeah, but I don’t think I’m the one who should tell you
Y/n
Yeah I understand
There are some things he hasn’t told me
I know that much
Stephanie
I’m sorry
Y/n
No worries
But could you tell me if he’s doing okay whenever you see him?
Stephanie
Of course
Y/n (5:14 pm)
Do you think you’ll see Jason today?
Roy
Um, I’m on my way to him now
How’d you know?
Y/n
Wild guess
I know he’s dealing with something but I don’t know what
Could you tell him I’m here for him if he ever needs me?
Roy
Why can’t you tell him yourself?
Y/n
He hasn’t been talking to me today
And I didn’t want to push if he doesn’t want to talk
The last time we went no contact, we both pushed each other away
Roy
That asshole
Y/n
Just be nice when you see him
Roy
I was
But now I should give him shit for what he’s putting you through
Y/n
No don’t
This is nothing compared to whatever Jason is going through
Roy
If I didn’t know better
You already know what’s he going through
Y/n
But I don’t
I just know that it’s bad if he’s not talking to anyone right now
Roy
You really care about him huh?
Y/n
I’m not afraid to admit it
Roy
Good
Jason needs someone like you on his side
I’m glad he has you
You threw your phone on the couch after reading Roy’s message, and bit your thumbnail in thought. Roy’s words had a deeper meaning now then before you knew the whole truth. And wondered if they would hold the same weight after they realized you went behind Jason’s back to find the truth.
It wasn’t something you needed to worry about now. There was something more pressing and you weren’t sure what to do but wait.
Sighing, you stood from the couch and made your way to the kitchen. After eating supper, you retrieved your laptop from your room and set it on the table.
Staring at it for a good minute or two, you made up your mind and turned it out. Once logged in, you went through the motions and found yourself in the Batcomputer again.
There was nothing for you to do but watch and wait. And that’s what you did for the rest of the night, you watched and listened as they talked out plans and watched as Oracle fought against the Calculator.
Scared of being discovered, you were debating whether or not you should leave. But you couldn’t, not until you knew Jason was okay.
But the decision was made for you when Oracle forced both you and Calculator when she rebooted her system. You gave her credit and wondered why she didn’t do that earlier.
With nothing to do, you slumped against your chair and hoped everything turned out in their favour.
“Jason you have a minute?” Roy called as the Outlaws made their way out of the building with Riddler in tow. Jason nodded, and the two of them branched off from their friends.
”What’s up?” Jason asked when they were far enough away from prying ears.
“Have you talked to Y/n lately?” Roy asked, and Jason flinched at the mention of you. “I’ll take that as a no.”
“Are they doing okay?” Jason asked, rubbing the back of his neck. Roy shrugged and said he didn’t know. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“Exactly that, I don’t know,” he answered, “I just know that they’re really worried about you and wanted you to know that they’re there if you need them.”
“I’ll always need them,” Jason said without a second thought.
“That’s probably something you need to tell them, not me,” Roy said and looked towards their friends. “Look, everything seems to be okay here now. And I doubt Batman needs our help right now.”
“Probably because he’s being a stubborn asshole,” Jason muttered and Roy ignored it with a shake of his head.
“Why don’t you go see Y/N?” Roy suggested, “it would ease their mind a bit.” Jason shook his head at the thought.
“Not yet,” he said, “not until we deal with Joker. The last thing I need or want is for Joker to find Y/N.”
“Fair enough. Then at least answer their texts,” he said, “that’s something you can do without Joker knowing.”
“Suppose you’re right,” Jason said, sighing in defeat.
“I’m always right,” Roy said, gaining a laugh out of his friend.
“Not always,” he said and walked off towards his bike. He pulled out his phone. Scrolling through his messages, he couldn’t help but laugh.
Jason (12:35 am)
You set two things on fire today
One might think you’re a pyromaniac
Y/n (1:09 am)
:O
I am no such thing
i set ONE thing on fire and burnt my eggs
There is a difference
Jason
No I don’t think so
It’s the same thing
Y/n
Well then I guess your seeing a pyromaniac
Jason
I’ve dated worst things
Y/n
Ex-fucking-cuse me?
What could possibly be worse than a pyromaniac?
Jason
A serial killer
Y/n
YOU DATED A SERIAL KILLER?
Jason
Okay, not technically
Y/n
What does that mean?!
Jason
Means she was apart of the league of assassins
And given that their job description is basically their title
It's the same thing
Y/n
I can feel you shrugging like its not a big deal
But it is
And I worry for you and your taste of women
Jason
There’s nothing wrong with my taste in women
Y/n
Says the guy who dated a women who kills for a living
And me, who’s and I’m quoting here
a ‘pyromaniac’
Jason
Nothing wrong with a little arson
Y/n
My goodness
Judging by that statement alone, I think you’re the pyromaniac
Jason
Well, I mean I have done a little arson myself
So I’m not one to judge
Y/n
……
Jason
Wow, six dots
I must really made an impression
Y/n
You’re lucky your pretty
Jason
I knew it
You’re only into me because of my looks
Y/n
-_-
I’m going to bed
Jason
No, no no wait
I went a little to far, I’m sorry
Y/n
You’re forgiven
Can I call you? Or are you too busy for that?
Jason
Not busy persay, just I’m with my friends and I’m not yet ready for you to meet them
Y/n
Afraid I’ll run away?
Jason
Something like that
Sometimes they can be a little too much
And protective
Other then that, I wouldn’t mind hearing your beautiful voice
Y/n
Oof, maybe I should go to bed
I’m red like a tomato
Jason
Sounds like a sight to see
Y/n
I’m sure it is
…
Are you okay?
And don’t just saying something cheesy like
Jason
I’m better now that I’m talking to you
Y/n
You son of a bitch
I told you not to say something like that
Smooth fucker
Jason
But I am telling the truth
Something came up last night that triggered something
I had to leave town for the day, but my friends showed up and we talked.
Roy said something about you being worried
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you
I just, I needed to deal with it before I could see you or talk to you
Y/n
No I get
Probably didn’t help with all my messages
But I’m glad you’re feeling better
Still dealing with it?
Jason
Yeah
But once it’s done, I’ll come and see you
Promise
Y/n
Take your time with it, I don’t mind the wait
I’m just glad you to hear from you
Jason
I’m so glad I met you
Y/n
Me too
#jason todd x reader#online match up#jason todd#batman imagine#jason todd imagine#jason todd x gn!reader#my writing
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My apologies for being incapable of having short responses, ha.
For one, this post is mainly addressing a common sentiment I've been seeing throughout the years online with regards to DID about people seeming to think that seeing alters, say, have their own names and Tumblr side blogs and pronouns and profiles as a bad thing.
A lot of people see alters expressing themselves online and will fake-claim that system, will claim that this is "glorifying" DID or "romanticizing" it.
I see this CONSTANTLY! I see this on Tumblr, I see it on Reddit, I'm certain it's on plenty of other websites I don't use.
Because these types of people have a grave misunderstanding of what DID is, how it works, what and who alters even ARE. They see alters as the side thing that just happens to DID, when the person with DID is always an alter. These people will sit here and act like the mere act of, say, me expressing and introducing myself online as a specific alter and they'll look at that and fake-claim and act like it's romanticizing or glorifying DID and, pray tell, I just have to ask these people what part of me am I allowed to express? Do you see DID as "the host, and then the alters" and you think I'm a host right now, and it's acceptable to express myself because you think I'm a host, as if "host" is "the main/actual/real person" and not just another alter? What part of me is acceptable to express? What part of me is allowed to be expressed, online or not, and which parts of me aren't?
I never brought up anything about covert or overt, and that's actually for a very specific reason (the tags mentioned covert/overt, but that was that person specifically, not us). We haven't said a single thing about overt or covert in this entire post, and this is actually partially why - what I'm saying and what I'm talking about is being incorrectly conflated with meaning "Being Overt" or "being separate, distinct People" when that isn't what I was saying or implying. Being covert or overt has nothing to do with this.
I'm talking about alters expressing themselves, and I think this is incorrectly being conflated to meaning overt or meaning "distinct, separate people" when that's not what it means.
Let's take away the DID and alter stuff for a moment:
Humans express themselves through many ways - we express ourselves with our names and having our own hobbies and interests, yes, but we also express ourselves just in terms of, like. Talking to a friend about the stress we're going through.
When you, as a person with DID, are expressing yourself - by talking about your trauma to your therapist; by communicating with the different parts in your system; by allowing parts to simply BE who they are instead of suppressing them and trying to hide them - it is alters expressing themself.
That means nothing about whether or not those parts exist with a separate name, separate hobbies, or just generally are their own "distinct person."
Remember my example with my part 'Tea' - I came into therapy one day, very excitable, energetic. I felt embarrassed for Being The Way I Was in that moment and my brain switched to someone else almost immediately, because of that embarrassment.
Months later (or even a year later, I don't even know anymore lmfao), I came into therapy pretty energetic and excitable again. But this time, I felt safer and more comfortable. We didn't switch to another part out of embarrassment, I felt safe to be myself in that moment.
This is what I mean.
Overt/covert has nothing to do with it.
What self-expression means to me is going to be different from other people, and what self-expression means to them is going to be different from me. For us, it means allowing ourselves to exist as we are and not trying to force us into a closed-off box of "Being One Person." For you, maybe it means simply ripping up paper to express anger (i.e. a specific part in your system ripping up paper to express the anger they feel). And that's still self-expression, and that's GOOD!
I will clarify, though, that my second addition/reblog was more talking about my personal thing about our own journey, just as an added ramble-conversation to do with what the tags said. It was not meant to be applied to other people - I did feel that that person's tags were important, but it's not meant to be a generalized Rule of "everybody with DID must be like this to heal." I did not feel the need to put disclaimers about "just to be clear, this isn't about covertness or overtness, and being covert or overt has nothing to do with this" because it didn't feel necessary, but to clarify:
Being "overt" does NOT mean "lower dissociative barriers"
Being "covert" does NOT mean "higher dissociative barriers"
Alters expressing themselves does NOT mean "overt"
Having lowered dissociative barriers simply means communication between parts has improved, amnesia has been lowered, etc.
Whether or not a system is "covert" or "overt" is less to do with dissociative barriers, although it CAN play a role, whether or not a system is "covert" or "overt" is actually more dependent on that specific person - their life, the trauma they went through, the environments they were raised in.
Nearly every single ""OVERT"" system I have known have had very specific life experiences that have lead them to develop this presentation. When you hear about these systems and they explain things about their life, how they were raised, their trauma, it becomes clear that the presentation their DID took the form of had way more to do with their personal, specific life experiences and less to do with anything about how high or low their dissociative barriers were. Although, yes, again, that CAN play a role, but not as big of a role as you might assume - MANY, MANY "overt" systems have very high dissociative barriers.
To be a bit more clearer: alters expressing themselves can give an idea of whether or not a system is "overt" or "covert" (I think this terms are shaky and muddy and blurry anyways and ultimately don't think they're very helpful, but that's a discussion for another day), but alters expressing themselves doesn't mean anything about being overt. It just means expressing themselves, and that can be in "big" ways (having your own name, pronouns, and personal hobbies and interests) or "small" ways (allowing yourself to express your anger in a healthy way; talking to your therapist about trauma and finally feeling safe enough to do so, etc.).
It took awhile to write this post, and I hope this helps.
"DID is most often hidden and unnoticeable" as in "MANY symptoms of DID, including the symptom of switching from one alter to another, are easily passed off as something else more 'normal' and not readily understood as switching from one alter to another" but you people seem to think that it means "alters don't really have differences actually and if you're allowing yourselves as different alters to know yourselves and express yourselves, you're lying/faking/wrongly self-diagnosed/glorifying DID/romanticizing DID-"
What part of dissociative IDENTITY disorder don't you understand?
You see someone with DID simply existing as themselves (alters existing as themselves) and see someone faking or roleplaying DID or wrongly self-diagnosing or "making DID their whole identity" when really it is literally no different from somebody expressing a side of themself to a friend that they otherwise feel scared to express. It is literally just self-expression.
Tea is an alter in my system who is extremely hyperactive, energetic, exciteable. She stands out. And one of the first times she was fronting in therapy, when I was noticing how different I was and how hyperactive I was, I felt embarrassed and switched immediately. And then many months later, the next time Tea was fronting, and me and our therapist realized it was her who was fronting, we didn't switch! We/she, felt safe and okay enough to behave the ways she does. I didn't switch in order to not behave in those "weird" ways, and I didn't try to suppress the ways I wanted to behave and just Be.
This is huge! It was a huge thing for us in that therapy session. And we've only been continuing our journey with finding ourselves, finding out who we are, and allowing myself to "be" "different."
Alters expressing themselves differently is merely allowing yourself the right to self-expression. It is allowing yourself to truly "be cringe." It is allowing yourself to know yourself. To know who you really are. It is an important and huge aspect of recovery with DID.
Alters are not Nothing, that is an entire aspect of this brain's identity that could not integrate into the rest of the brain's identity.
You people continue to see DID as "the actual person versus the alters that just influence that Real person" when it is more like "all of us are That Real Person. That Real Person is different alters sometimes" like people will say these things about DID being treated like an "identity quirk" just because you see an alter expressing themself when in reality what you are doing is not that different from someone making fun of some kid because they're pretending to be a cat.
You are seeing somebody with DID merely expressing an aspect of their identity, merely expressing themself, and that's bad to you because you continue to incorrectly view DID as "the actual, real person and their alters" when those alters ARE "the real person", just dissociated into its own box.
You continue to see "The actual person, the Host, who is actually a person, oh they can express themselves! :)" but it's suddenly bad when it's not what you think is "the host/the Real/Actual Person" because, again, you people are continuing to incorrectly view alters as these Side things that just pop up and they can't self-express or have their own names or have hobbies and interests or Tumblr side blogs and act like that's bad and it means someone is "roleplaying DID" or faking or "romanticizing" when it is LITERALLY, and I mean this SO literally. It is LITERALLY just expressing another side of yourself.
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Seen a couple varieties of post on here in the realm of “nobody owes you fic comments” and… actually?
Some of the reasoning was like “you aren’t entitled to praise” or “maybe nobody commented because it’s bad and it helps you write better” which is… you’re supposed to interpret my silence as constructive criticism is not great. Or, the big one, “write for yourself”.
Cool.
First of all, nobody "owes" you fic comments? I'm sorry, is this a new bitcoin I haven't heard of? Is there a bank collecting interest on fic comments? Do you have a strict budget of commentability? Ffs you should want to comment and show that you like something, you gatekeepy cynic.
I write plenty for myself. If I choose to post what that writing is online, I am doing so because I am seeking engagement. Every fic out there is posted under the presumption that the writer wants feedback, otherwise you could easily disable comments, likes, kudos, and shares. Even if somebody in the notes says “y’all don’t have to read this I’m just archiving it”
… Do you really believe they mean that and wouldn’t be excited that somebody gave kudos anyway? Have you ever met people?
Saying this because writing is supposed to be fun. I love writing for myself, but the moment I decide to share it with others, the whole of my enjoyment of my craft is split right down the middle, 50% ‘I’m happy with this’ and 50% ‘are you happy with this?’.
If I’m not getting feedback, I will keep it to myself. Time is the one thing you can’t get back and if I get a more positive and healthy experience just keeping shit to myself and not risking silence from the void, then I’ll do that, and you won’t get fic. Not here holding fic hostage or anything, but if I’ve only got 8 hours out of my week to write and one private WIP makes me happy while one pubic WIP is just a reminder that no one likes it… I’m going to put the effort into the private one, the one that’s written for me.
Now I’ve never largely participated in fandom in the first place and am utterly shocked whenever anything I write for older fandoms gets engagement and I’m not posting with the mindset of “if this doesn’t get 5 kudos fuck ‘em” it’s a subconscious thing.
It’s a “Imma try this out. Oh, ok, well posting online feels no different than keeping it to myself and in fact the act of getting nowhere makes me feel a little worse, so never mind let’s take that down and go back into the safe space of a private Word doc.”
The act and love of writing is not intrinsically tied to the approval of our readers. The act of sharing our writing is.
Especially with fanfic: fic is designed for sharing, it's the act of showing love and support over a beloved story.
And this weird idea of “only good fics get kudos” is like… babe, people gotta start somewhere. I’ll read a lot of “bad writing” that has a good idea just executed poorly and still have something positive to say. It’s not hard. Being nice takes, like, 5 seconds.
Tap the kudos, send the bare minimum of a heart emoji through the comment, hit submit, and go about your day. You’re not out here rewarding “bad fic” with attention. We can all tell which fics are of higher quality and one little comment isn’t going to turn a bad writer into an egomaniac. You aren't rewarding bad writing, you're telling a hopeful writer "I see you over there standing awkwardly in the corner, here come join the rest of us, it's okay, we're here to have fun".
All of this shit is free. They write for free, your account is free, kindness is free.
So be kind.
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☀️✨ The Knight of Light ✨☀️
Hey everyone, it’s been a bit since I posted art
With making this post I can say that while I can’t get Glaze or Nightshade to work, I have taken as many steps to protect my artwork as possible (opting out of 3rd party sharing, watermarking, using ArtShield as a extra precaution )
Until there are regulations in place it’s safe to say the best we can do with the AI situation is do the best we can and hope for the best. While I’m not fully happy with that conclusion I genuinely do miss posting art online and sharing it with others. I met some of my best friends doing this. And I want to keep doing it and maybe even open commissions up eventually
I’m glad i found artshield and while it’s not glaze, I feel a bit more comfortable with some line of protection rather than none. Which is why I have decided to come back to Tumblr. And I will try to go back to posting on Canva too (even debating on making a Bluesky atm but we’ll see)
Instagram I will keep up, but I don’t think I will be posting art there anytime soon. No amount of protection will stop them from scraping for AI over there so I still won’t be active over there
I have been through a lot this year, a lot of good and a lot of bad. I fear for the future but all I can do is move forward.
So I will start my return to posting art with God tier Sandia, one of my troll ocs. A light in the darkness if you will.
I have so much art I want to share along with all the attacks I made for Artfight 2024 so keep your eyes open for more art from me soon
Thank you to everyone who stuck around, I hope we can get some wins for us human artists soon though
#homestuck#hiveswap#homestuck trolls#homestuck god tier#troll oc#trollsona#alternia#oc#nonbinary artist#digital art#digital illustration#Sandia Spinxs#knight of light#fanart#artists on tumblr#small artist#lime blood#illustration#fantasy art#sci fi art#sci fi and fantasy#knight#women in armor
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Good response to the "bubble" anon. There's something people in online fandoms need to realize, we are a very small minority. Forget about the BuckTommy bubble or the Buddie bubble, the online fandom for 9-1-1 is itself a bubble. And it's so small in the scheme of things.
A big post might get a few thousand likes on Tumblr. Put those likes against the ten million US & Canada-based viewers 9-1-1 gets weekly, and the online fandom size looks silly in comparison. Then consider that some of those likes on Tumblr are from people living outside of the US and Canada. And that many of those likes are from people who don't watch the show. Those are people who do not matter when it comes to TPTB when their focus is on the bottom line.
The majority of viewers aren't in a fandom for this show. They're more go-with-the-flow. More importantly, they're more likely to base their opinions on what is actually happening on the show whether they love the story or hate it.
This is all to say, regardless of how they feel about BuckTommy, most non-fandom viewers accept they were a couple. Most non-fandom viewers would never even consider Buck and Eddie as romantic because they don't spend countless hours thinking of all the ways Eddie's secretly not the straight character the show is telling us he is.
Those "journalists" are aiming for online fandom views, not the general audience. And so many of them come from that space. You're not getting pros established in TV journalism writing about Buddie. Even if they secretly shipped them, they know better.
Hi, Nonnie! Thanks!
Yeah, you sum it up pretty perfectly here. Not only us, but also Buddies, are a really small (tiny, even) part of the show's viewership. That's why I laugh whenever I see a Buddie threatening to boycott the show, because they simply do not have that power.
Matter of fact is that, based on what we've seen, BT was generally liked by the GA, enough that we saw some of them go out of their way to express their disappointment post 806. And we also know that Buddie isn't a generally liked ship by them, as they'd prefer for them to stay friends. And, honestly, I think this is one of the things that make them extremely mad, the knowledge that our small ship has resonated with the GA audience in a way their hasn't.
(Also, I want to say that this follows what the writers and showrunners wanted. The GA liking BT romantically but not Buddie makes sense, because only one pair was presented as romantic, and it wasn't Buddie. The audience likes things as they are presented to them. They aren't looking up the magnet theory).
Lastly, yes - the journalists very much come from an online space, and they all know what goes on in the 911 fandom. That's why a lot of them choose to cater to the bigger online presence; the same presence that will bully them if they do not cater to them. At this point, these journalists are very much making their own bed, for as they are promising things (in a way) that I honestly believe even they know won't happen. And when all is said and done and things, inevitably, don't go the way the journalists tease, hell will rain on them. But as I say - they're making their own bed (also known as- if you fuck around, you will find out).
Anyway, my inbox is open for ranting, venting, giving your opinions, and, if you want confessions as well!
Take care <3
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Let me enjoy my fantasy with modern tech, neo pronouns, and niche labels that no one has heard of before in peace!
#not at anyone here#i've just seen a few posts about how fantasy with modern tech#and fantasy with neo pronouns#and niche labels#isn't as good#and like#i disagree#i like older fantasy stuff too don't get me wrong#but i almost never see fantasy with any of the things i've described#and when i do find it#or write it myself#i feel seen and happy#but then i see posts online saying that it's not as good#and it's like#well maybe you don't like it#but i enjoy it#so leave me be
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sometimes i scroll thru my tumblr dash & think to myself with a bit of awe how lucky i am to be surrounded by a world full of beautiful ppl doing beautiful things. & yeah no there's no punchline to this one actually. i just love u
#i hate the internet a lot of the time but honestly it's quite breathtaking that i can find with a few clicks people who are passionate about#the same things as me! and people proudly being passionate about things i never knew existed!#people creating things and people making jokes and people talking and people loving what they love with their entire heart & soul#its just. its good to see. it makes me feel better.#this post is brought to u by all the talented artists i follow and my online friends#sometimes joy is made of tiny interactions with people u will never meet. someone shows me their art and i say it's beautiful. it changed#my life. and then we go on living#hope#🐝
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