#but then again I can post replies w/o icons too

[ruvatia]

Sorry if this is a bit much with everything going on, but could I request a scenario where the Paladins + Matt & Lotor have a black s/o and they’re scared abt everything that’s happening in their country and are sad that racial injustice is happening? I’ve been rlly worried the past few days, but if this is smth too uncomfy I understand ;w; Thank you 💖💖💖

This got really long, I apologize but I turned it into half-headcanons with just the main paladins-- i apologize for not doing all the characters you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think they would fit all in a single post anyways www

On another note I hope you and every other reader take good care of their mental health; it’s important to be aware of what’s going on but it’s also important to be in the right mindspace to be able to tackle everything that’s being shared. It’s pain that’s been boiling for a very long time and there is absolutely no shame in taking some downtime to recover before heading back into current issues.

SHIRO:

If you were saddened, Shiro would suggest that maybe you switch to something else; if there was something that he knows will distract you and temporarily have you be a little more at ease, he’d do that!

But also maybe add a little twist-- extra soft blankets (fresh out of the oven! Screw the bills you’re worth it), extra cheese on your favorite dish, whatever it is that can make your smile a little wider, bigger or brighter just let him know!

Would give you hugs if you asked, but usually Shiro pets your head and brushes your cheek for comfort

He also does this when he wants to ask something of you, but thats another story

Why the TV was still on was a mystery to you, you’d stopped listening a long time ago. Your partner besides you noticed, and you felt the hand around your shoulder tighten his grip a little, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, maybe we should watch something else?” he asked softly, brushing your cheek with his hand. “I can’t really listen to this anymore.”

“Yeah… Sure.” you replied, though it felt like an automated response more than your actual opinion.

“Okay, I’ll switch to that weird show Pidge recorded the other day, we agreed to watch it, right?” he replied, quickly grabbing the remote to change the program.

The first episode started playing, but the moment that it did, you felt cold as Shiro left your side.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your interlaced fingers the only thing keeping him close.

“Ah, I thought I’d make us something. We both kinda skipped dinner….”

He’d thought about putting something together that you’d like, maybe order dessert to surprise you but seeing the look on your face, leaving your side was the hardest thing to do right now.

So he gave in, and your both fell asleep until the doorbell rang with your delivery.

KEITH:

I have this headcanon that Keith isn’t very good with physical touch but after the end of voltron and after enough time of humanitarian relief, he learns how important it is for someone that’s in a specific state of mind

So the best he has to offer when his words fail is physical touch

Over your time together he’s learned what you need depending on your mood, and it helped him out lots when you were more vocal about it-- if anything he liked it when you asked for things that he could easily deliver, he’d do anything to see you smile

A hand came over your phone screen, Keith’s fingers lacing into yours and making you drop the device onto the crevices of the sofa.

“Why did you--”

“You’ve been staring at that thing for the past hour, biting at your nails.” he said in a worried tone. “That’s enough. We’re going to bed.”

“But it’s just--”

“We’re going to bed.” he repeated in a harsher tone, lifting you off your seat.

Keith sat down onto the bed first, pulling you into him. You both fell onto the bed, Keith quickly pulling the covers over your shoulders before his arms came around you.

“My alarm is my phone.”

“That’s nice, but we both know we have nothing to do tomorrow.” he replied right away, making you chuckle.

“Keith…” you called, your hands sneaking up to his face.

You brushed away some of his hair from his face as he gave you a complicated expression, unable to reflect the small smile you wore. He knew things were shit outside, that being apart from your family and other loved ones was a toll on both you and that lately negative thoughts have plagued you more often than not but Keith, despite his good intention was still somewhat of an awkward man.

“Thank you.”

He kissed you in reply and you both left it at that, glad that he had someone like you to meet him halfway.

LANCE:

Lots of hugs the moment he feels something is off with you

Will be a brat™ for the sole purpose of distracting you, bET

I feel like post-series Lance tries his best to be as observant as Allura and tries to understand others better-- but it didn't take a genius or incredible empath to know why your eyes looked like they were about to overflow at the sight of the news.

I’d like to think that Lance, with a big connected family is one of the paladins that very easily gets what you’re going through, wouldn’t be surprised he’s been called one or two things in his past either

That being said it doesn’t mean that he completely understands your personalized struggles with racial injustices that you encounter everyday; as another minority himself + coming from a culture and upbringing that might be different than yours, its a very different experience.

Memories flooded as the news anchor spoke about “lootings” and as you scrolled down your feed to see feeble attempts at sympathy from local peacekeepers. You sigh and retweet another thread, only to find something equally as shocking right after. You stopped commenting in quote retweets a while ago, you felt like you were constantly repeating that none of this was okay and that a reform was desperately needed. Rather than typing out your thoughts you typed out your name, address and email over and over again, signing one petition after the other.

Hearing sigh after sigh, Lance eventually put an arm around your shoulder. He startled you, but his soft voice made both your shoulders and your guard lower.

“Hey, do you want to make a midnight snack with me? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“What about that new rule we were talking about? Not eating 4 hours before we went to bed?”

“Every diet has one or two cheat days, don’t they?” he replied, kissing one of your eyelids. “Come on, I’m sure your neck is sore from being like that for so long.”

In the end you both made some soul-food until a food-coma knocked you out until tomorrow. In the morning, you realized that Lance must’ve woken up in the middle of the night because you remember cuddling on the couch, and yet you’re waking up on the bed. Of course, still in his arms.

HUNK:

Having a sensible heart, I feel like both you and hunk would struggle a little about maintaining a healthy distance with current events.

Though overtime he would understand that keeping in touch with everything that’s going on is important, but not at the sake of burning out

His best bet, to him, to pull you out of a such a dark space is with comfort food

“Ok ppl feel like they want to eat a horse but they actually cant when they’re in that mind space Hunk, let’s make something sweet and small; something direct and straight to the point! Let’s add smiley faces on it!”

Your turned down the volume from the news, let your head fall backwards and brought up your forearm over your closed eyes. It felt warm and made it you realize that you had probably been staring very intensely at the screen as a wave of comfort hit your eyes the moment they were drowned in darkness. Letting out a deep breath, you stilled and let yourself bask in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back.

“Maybe a little bit more sugar? No, then it would be disbalanced. The base is already so sweet-- Ah, I have to take the cupcakes out or else they might get burned!”

You felt a smile grow on your lips, making you ignore the horrid news being broadcasted to turn to your partner that as usual, seemed to juggle ten thousand things to create a whole meal.

“What’s going on over here?” you asked, leaning over the counter to note that one of your favorite dishes was made and machines that were mostly used for baking had been brought out.

“Oh you know, just a little pick me up for my most favorite person ever.” he shrugged, but a smile soon came to his face. His hands were full but he leaned over, his lips meeting your cheek. “Things outside are a little dark, so I thought we could both use a little something nice.”

He turned on the machine after dropping a drop of dye to make it your favorite color and within a few minutes the icing was finished. Hunk scooped up a small amount on his finger and brought it to his lips and nod.

“Wanna taste?” he asked you, his finger dipping into the icing.

A mischievous grin spread on your features as you took his wrist and let his finger fall on your tongue, the sweetness quickly spreading through your mouth. The yellow paladin shivered as you let his digit hang in your mouth for longer than necessary, letting out a satisfied hum when you returned it to him.

“Tastes perfect.”

PIDGE:

She knew what could be fixed, she knew how to fix it but this meant she was also aware of how long such a transition would take

I think Pidge would be similar to Shiro: whatever she remembers that helps you be at ease, she would defect to that in hopes to maybe distract you for a while.

I don’t think Pidge is a very touchy person either, so if she reaches out to you _physically_ in worry, it’s a very clear sign she’s serious/anxious

I feel like she would reach out in other ways and then if she knew you were in a specific state of mind where touch was not useful, or if she just also wanted to try things out lol

As you watched the twisted information that was being shared on screen, another message caught your attention. Rather than a small red icon in the corner, a small window appeared in the middle of your computer screen.

<I found a way to modify notifications sent to another device.>

The video had stopped, every horrible gif about police brutality was paused and there was nothing else but the small window pidge had thrown onto your screen. You chuckled, and felt a pressure behind your working chair.

Another message popped up.

<You’ve been catching up with twitter for the past two hours. Surely you’re done now?>

A soft laugh came from you, making Pidge release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. You typed out an answer:

<Is it possible to be completely caught up with twitter? I follow like 500 accounts.>

<Okay, but half of them are just cat videos and the other half are just retweets of said videos.>

<Oh here I was thinking that this was an intervention to brighten my mood. We’re dragging each other’s follows now?>

<Oh please like you don’t want to be dragged, with that kind of follow list.>

<I can’t believe you’ve done this.>

You both laughed, before Pidge turned around and tapped your shoulder. She let her hand float in the air, yours coming to join it as a soon as your turned her way.

“Wanna take a nap?” she asked, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I had Chip make some hot chocolate, Hunk style.”

You squeezed her hand, putting your computer on sleep mode.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

[violetsoju]

page 30彡★

kageyama tobio · fluff · 3.2k

a/n: came up w this idea based on a tiktok vid of this trend that randomly popped up on my feed (which i can't find anymore T_T) do let me know if you enjoyed it! ❤️

“Hey, Tobio.”

The mop of raven hair doesn’t look up to you, eyes fixated on the jiggly onsen tamago on top of the curry tonkatsu.

“There’s this new trend going on.”

He hums in response, fingers gripping onto a pair of wooden chopsticks, manoeuvring the fragile soft lump towards the spoon. Just a few more steps till being cradled snugly in the deep end of the cool ceramic spoon.

“And we’re gonna learn the moves and film it right here after this.”

His fingers twitch. One of the long pointy chopsticks loses its cool and stabs the tamago right in the core, streaks of yellow bleeding across the crisp golden brown tonkatsu. Its counterpart desperately tries to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but too much yolk has been lost, and more jabs were made in the frantic rescue mission. Not even the string of ‘shit’ muttered could save the day. So long, dear onsen tamago.

You’re finally met with piercing blue eyes glaring at you.

“No. And look at what you did to my onsen tamago.”

“You should’ve scooped it up with your spoon instead of pushing it with your chopsticks. Common sense much?” You thank the waitress for the hot steaming tempura udon. “Plus, you’re supposed to break the yolk and coat the luscious essence over your rice, unless you’re a freak and eat it in one go.”

Kageyama’s scowl softens when a piece of fried tempura lands in his bowl in exchange for a piece of tonkatsu. A glint of delight gleams in the two pair of eyes at the first bite of delicious food, taste buds tingling in satisfaction.

It’s a rainy Wednesday night. And rainy nights call for warm comfort food to make up for the gloomy wet weather brought by the pitter patter parade of fat rain droplets. So after a spontaneous text message, here you are, with an old close friend of yours, inside a small cosy shop hidden in an alleyway without any prior arrangements.

“And let me repeat myself. I’m not going to do any dumb dance trends with you again.” Kageyama restates his point firmly.

“Come on, you had so much fun the last time! Even Tsukki sent a good job sticker in the group chat.” You reason.

“You mean he enjoyed seeing me almost tripping over my feet.”

“That was the highlight, to be honest.”

He smacks your chopsticks away with his at your attempt to snag another piece of tonkatsu, not giving in into your pout.

“Anyway, I was just kidding. You’re in luck this time because it’s not a dance trend.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously, tilting his head to ask you to continue on.

“This time it’s a trend where you grab your nearest book, turn to page 30, and the first sentence will describe your love life. Interesting, isn’t it?”

“Just when I thought you’ve outgrown these ridiculous nonsenses.”

“Says the one who still insists on drinking a box of strawberry milk before matches.” You jab your chopsticks towards his direction accusingly.

“That’s different because it actually works. And it’s good.” He counterattacks by returning your gesture.

“I hate to say this but, point taken.”

He triumphantly snickers as you sigh in defeat.

“Aren’t you curious on how my love life is described?” You question, blowing off the steam from your spoon full of udon.

Kageyama chomps on another piece of pork cutlet, unamused at your question. “If you’re generous enough to share, I’d be honoured.”

“‘He smiles’”

“What?”

“That’s the first sentence on my page 30. ‘He smiles’.” You reply matter-of-factly, taking a sip of your hot green tea.

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” His brows knit in confusion, hands momentarily forgetting the spoonful of curry rice in hand.

“Use your imagination, Tobio. Awaken your romantic cells.” You gesture with your hands dramatically, earning a deadpan look from the boy seated across you.

“Does it mean whoever’s smiling is the love of your life? Or someone who’s always smiling?” Kageyama rests his cheek against his left knuckle, trying to connect the dots together.

“Well-“

“Wait a minute! Don’t tell me it’s Suga-san. Because if it is, I won’t allow it because Suga-san is way too good for you.”

He yelps as you not-so-accidentally dip your chopsticks stained with broth into his green tea.

“Shush, we both know how much Suga-san adores me. And everyone else.” You smugly take another bite of your fried tempura as he frowns in disgust after drinking the now broth infused green tea.

“I guess it’s feeling of love at the sight of his smile? Like feeling all warm and fuzzy seeing him smile.”

“Is there someone who makes you feel that way with their smile?”

You swirl the udon with your chopsticks mindlessly for a moment. “Maybe there is.”

You look up to the pair of blue eyes staring back at you, holding the intense gaze firmly, neither side backing down to break the tension.

“Do I know him?” Kageyama falters, a hint of anxiousness cracks in his voice.

“Since when were you so interested in my love life?” You laugh awkwardly, hoping to conceal your nervousness.

Despite the surrounding bustling chatter, the world suddenly falls painstakingly silent, with the irregular beats of two young hearts thumping deafeningly and out of rhythm.

The raven-haired boy succumbs first, looking back down to his half empty bowl. You continue swirling your bowl of udon, mentally slapping yourself at your answer and cracking your head to come up with something to save the mood.

“Well, I could help to scan him for you, if you want. Boys know boys better after all,”

You snap back up to look at the boy seated across you, eyes not meeting yours. This is a surprise.

“Plus, you can save the tears and snot to yourself because I might not be free to attend to your midnight crying sessions. If it really happens.”

A surge of warmth radiates throughout your body at his words. Definitely not from the hot bowl of udon.

Kageyama still has his eyes on the bowl before him, looking anywhere else but you. He tries to keep himself busy by scooping more rice, groaning as he further destroys the onsen tamago, unaware of the faint blush painting his cheeks. Definitely not from the hot bowl of curry, too.

“Don’t worry, he isn’t a jerk. I’m sure you’ll like him too.” You chuckle, adjusting your chopsticks to pick up more udon.

Oh, Kageyama Tobio, what exactly should I do with you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

Scroll. Refresh. Switch apps. Repeat. Sigh.

You’ve been stuck in this constant loop for the past hour. Instead of getting much needed sleep for the next day, you subject yourself to the chains of the device held in your hand, despite the drooping eyelids and strained arm muscles.

What’s so fascinating about social media anyway? If it’s not friends or random acquaintances posting sinful food pics of ootds, it’d be someone ranting about either their work or love life, or memes you’ve already seen before. Sometimes you wonder if you’ve been casted a spell by social media.

Crying out a yelp as the gadget lands right in your face at the slip of your hands, you massage your nose bridge and forehead from the impact, grimacing in pain. It’s not easy being a slave to social media, huh.

Tossing your phone to the side, you roll over to lie flat on your back, sprawled like a star fish on your bed. A long sigh escapes your lips, eyes staring blankly at the bare celling above. Maybe you should really call it a day.

A beep from your phone tells you otherwise.

Tobio [23:17]

I did it. You owe me one box of strawberry milk.

[23:18]

IMG_20210402_961222

You immediately plop yourself up to sit cross-legged on your bed, tapping on the notification to open the message. As expected of Kageyama Tobio, it was a full-page picture of a book, with a small number 30 on the top left-hand corner. But unexpectedly of Kageyama Tobio too, the page wasn’t from those volleyball books or magazines stacked in the corner of his room. Looks like the mini ramble session you gave him on the way to the metro station worked.

“I know volleyball is the love of your life too, but we’re talking about your actual love life here! So no volleyball books or magazines, go rummage Miwa-san’s book shelf for one random romance novel. Just one. She’ll thank me for taking care of your love life.”

Sliding both your thumbs outwards on the screen to zoom in, your lips press together to form an ‘o’, brows arching in fascination at the first sentence.

She knows.

Interesting.

Your fingers dance across the screen swiftly.

me [23:20]

Ohhh interesting. See, it’s exciting, isn’t it?

Tobio [23:21]

I guess so

me [23:22]

Do you think it describes your love life well?

To actually imagine Kageyama Tobio having something that he loves as much as volleyball is, an odd and foreign feeling.

Tobio [23:24]

I’m not sure tbh

me [23:25]

Well spill the tea so I can help you analyse it

Tobio [23:25]

No

You swear you would throw punches at him if he was beside you now.

me [23:26]

Tsk tsk, so who’s the girl you’ve been hiding from me

Tobio [23:27]

Since when were you interested in my love life?

The use of your own words against you has you clicking your tongue in amusement.

You were contemplating between a civil or sarcastic remark when a new message bubble pops up.

Tobio [23:29]

But do you think she knows?

me [23:30]

About what?

Tobio [23:31]

Nvm, forget what I said

Seriously? This conversation is by no means, ending like this. You tap on the video icon on the right-hand corner of the screen hastily.

It takes a few rings for the familiar face to appear on screen, face a little too close to the camera, brows furrowed, lips pursed.

“What the heck, do you know what time it is?” Kageyama huffs in annoyance, running his fingers through his dishevelled black hair.

“Says the one who sent me such juicy information at this hour.” You bend your legs up, resting your hand on your knees for a better angle.

He throws his head back exasperatedly, muttering something inaudible along the static noise from the speakers, resting his head on a wooden frame you recognise. He still hasn’t changed his bed that he has long outgrown, complaining about soreness in his legs and arms that dangle off the edge every night.

“How do you expect me to go to bed with you hanging me like this? You have the worst timing ever.” You raise your hands in protest.

Kageyama buries half of his face in his palm. “I shouldn’t have listened to you.”

“But you get a box of strawberry milk from this! It’s worth it.” You gesture a finger gun to him knowingly.

He moves two fingers away from his face, peeking to see you through the screen like a child. Heaving a long, heavy sigh, he shifts his weight to sit up properly, half of his face still cradled in his palm.

“So, ‘she knows’, huh. Back to your question. What do you think she knows?” A tinge of excitement and fear bubble up your throat.

Kageyama avoids your gaze, looking to the side. “Well, I mean, about my, er- my feelings, I guess?”

“You mean your heart.”

The sentence has his eyes back on you, vivid blue eyes clouded by the shadows of dimly lit room.

“Yeah, uhm, well, I guess.” His voice trails off.

“Well, have you told her before?” You keep your voice steady.

“No, of course.” His words come out like a whisper.

“Then how is she going to know without any words or actions?” It comes out like a blunt statement, but somewhere deep down, a wave of relief washes over you.

“But I’m always there for her. Whenever she needs me, wherever she is, I try my best to be there for her,” Passionate flames ignite across the vast blue ocean. “I know something is on her mind when she bites the insides of her cheeks, when she flicks the tip of her thumb with her index finger constantly, or when she plays with the piercings on her ears. I’m not one with words, but I stay by her side when she needs me to, listening to her rambles or vents, or wiping away tears that stain her cheeks soft like mochi.

“I set notifications the night before to give her morning calls during her exams or important days because she tends to snooze the alarm on days like these. I always have extra band-aids ready on hand because she always somehow cuts and hurts herself, which hurts my heart too. Heck, I even learn ridiculous things that would be the death of me just for her, because nothing compares to the sparkle in her eyes when she flashes her precious smile, brighter than the sun that takes my breath away every time. I-”

Kageyama stops midway, face painted with horror as if he just let out a million-dollar secret. Panic flares in his eyes, mouth agape in incredulity as his body rigids, dumbstruck with terror by what rolled off his tongue so smoothly. You wonder if the line got disconnected because he turned into a static image, with a full-blown flustered look on his face.

You wave at the screen. “Tobio, you still there?”

It takes a few seconds for the raven-haired boy to snap back to his senses and regain his composure, coughing awkwardly in attempt to calm himself down. Small patches of blush blooming furiously on his cheeks peek out from his hands covering his mouth.

He looks cute.

No, he’s cute.

He’s always been cute.

“I- Er- Ye- Yeah, I’m still here.” Kageyama struggles to find words from his tad-larger-than-average vocabulary vault that has seem to disappear into thin air.

“Gosh, breathe Tobio, breathe. Come on, take a deep breath with me. One, two, three.”

He exhales deeply at the count of three with eyes shut close, hoping that all his jitters have been expelled away in the air.

“There you go. Feel better now?” Your lips tug up gently as the boy on the screen visibly relaxes, shoulders loosening from the tension, face free of creased lines.

He opens his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust his vision before returning a soft smile to you. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

A tranquil silence blankets over the both of you. This time, the steady beats of two young hearts thump in tune like a metronome. Two young souls gaze at each other, basking in the calmness and comfort of the sincere warm smiles that felt so much like home; but too proud to admit they were like lovesick fools, brushing off the feelings that were screaming loudly to be heard, feelings that they were afraid to face.

“Do you think she knows?” It’s a genuine question, one that takes a mountain high of courage to come up with.

“I’m sure she does.” It’s a genuine answer, one that takes a of couple hundred meters of might to emerge from the deep ends of the sea to come up with.

And you both hope that you’re on the same wavelength.

“So back to square one. Who’s the girl?”

“None of your business.”

“Another piece of crap from you and I’ll leave without you at the metro station tomorrow.”

“Sorry.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you reach the designated exit of the metro station the next day, a pair of eyes as blue as the day immediately catches your attention among the crowd, feet shuffling on its own accord towards them. As if there was a detector sensing your presence within him, the owner of the beautiful pair of orbs turns to you, raising a hand in greeting.

Kageyama gives you a smile, a smile that says, ‘I hope my smile makes you feel warm and fuzzy’.

You smile back at him, with a smile that says, ‘I hope you know that I know your heart’.

It’s hard to shake off the pride to be damned, but the two lovesick fools find themselves discarding it slowly, bit by bit with each step taken, together.

【☾】

Kageyama is a creature of routine. He always has his day planned out in detail and hates it when it doesn’t go according to plan, or when something pops out of the blue. But there are a few which he can make exceptions for. So when he receives your text asking for dinner after his training session, he agrees in a heartbeat.

He felt his heart sink deeply in his guts when you said there was, indeed, someone who made you feel warm and fuzzy with their smile. But who was he to have his say when his status was merely just a close friend?

Miwa thought he had lost it when he barged into her room without notice that night, scanning her bookshelf for novels, specifically of the romance genre. It was more nerve-wrecking than retaking exams back in high school with Hinata while flipping through the pages, and it didn’t help much when he finally found the particular page, with the first line inked in black staring back at him in doubt.

He doesn’t know why he sent the picture of the page to you. What exactly was he expecting?

Worse, he doesn’t even know why he started blabbing about how he was always there for you, how much he cares for you, and how much you mean to him. It all just came out so naturally that he could actually score an A+ for impromptu speaking.

But when your eyes were filled with concern while calming him down instead of making fun of him or pestering him for more, something flutters in his mind. Maybe it was from the rush of adrenaline from before, or maybe it was his heart that had leaped out from his chest taking over. He brings up the question once again, with more confidence this time.

He knows you’re not one to lie with your eyes. And he sees the kindness and honesty in them.

A ray of hope flickers in him.

So today, Kageyama musters up every ounce of courage he has, and tells himself it’s now or never: to close the gap he has longed for so long between two hands that swayed side by side. Instead of retreating his hands away when they brush against yours, he curls the tip of his fingers with yours delicately, as if your fingers would melt at his touch.

He hopes that he made the right decision.

And when your fingers curl back, intertwined with his, he knows he has made the right decision, and that his question has been answered.

She knows.

And the fact that he’s the one behind the smile that makes you go all warm and fuzzy, he swears it feels like he could run for miles and miles without running out of breath, soaring even higher than the clouds in the skies. None of the perfect sets he has set in his lifetime could compare to the satisfaction and bliss he was feeling right now.

Because you had set his life ablaze the moment fate brought the both of you together, and you’re his end game.

[aeonghaseyo]

Under the Streetlight - Alexandra Trese x Reader

Song fic based on the song “Mixtape: OH” by Stray Kids

A/N: It’s actually my first time writing a song fic, and one using the English translation of a K-pop song I love so much. Please stream Mixtape: OH in Youtube! Btw, I tried my best for the reader to be of any gender haha

T/W: imagery of blood

-----

You were just a college student in Manila, trying to get by this one year in your program that seemed as if it was out to kill you. Why not though, with all the shit ton of schoolwork you had to do as well as org work you willingly volunteered to do? 

As you waited by a jeepney stop by a streetlight that might as well have been like a spotlight hovering upon you, you pondered upon a lot of things in your head and stopped to make a note to yourself. 

‘Note to self: I should really work on saying no once in a while. If I say yes to so much work during this sem I might be dead faster than I think.’

Even making this note to yourself made you feel stressed all the more, with your body automatically fidgeting, and you, conscious enough of your own habits when faced with stress and anxiety, tried your best to fend it off either by forcing yourself to stay still or by letting your thoughts wander to more exciting scenarios.

One scenario in mind played: you on your knees under that same streetlight, with a woman clad in a black coat wielding a curved blade that seemed to gleam its own light even in the darkness. This undaunted, short-haired lady in a defensive stance, aiming to keep you from being kidnapped by the aswang in your area that would risk even the secrecy of their existence in the estero’s out of hunger they never bothered to control. Your entrails would have been their main course, and your soul their dessert, until the infamous Alexandra Trese came to your rescue within a split-second, not even giving you time to scream out loud for help.

As there were only two of the aswang who were going to salvage you to satisfy their hunger pangs, it only took mere moments for Alexandra to take them both down without a drop of blood on you. Even while she was splashed with blood, you looked upon her in awe and admiration. 

The mere thought of her figure post-rampage painted your cheeks red, as you also recalled the memory of her holding out a hand to you to help you up. The fear brought about by that near-death-by-aswang experience really made you literally weak on your knees, so at first you struggled to stand up right after you shakily gripped her hand.

When I get my hands on you

When I set my eyes on you

I get breathless and I’ve never felt this way before

I can’t explain this

It feels so different

So I want it more

No doubt, something coursed through you back then that made you gain just a little bit of strength to momentarily stand on your own two feet. You had that strength, alright, but you didn’t look it with the paleness of your face giving your state of weakness away to the woman in front of you.

“You’re safe now, you don’t have to be scared,” you heard Alexandra reassure you, and once again your knees were jelly.

So you stumbled. 

Blessed by her swift reflexes, your savior caught you effortlessly, and you couldn’t help but hold on to her arms and look into her unwavering black orbs. Another moment passed as she helped you back on your own two feet, her hands still on your shoulders as if to give you a sense of security amidst a relatively dangerous area.

You muttered an “I-i’m so sorry, ma’am,” to which the babaylan-mandirigma corrected you, “Call me Alex. You don’t look well enough to commute, and the streets are especially dangerous at this time of night. Let me take you home.”

I just want to whine

I’ll stop being calculative

I want you to notice how I am feeling

As if you would notice that I was lying

I don’t want to just be around you like the scent

She saved your ass from being a part of the aswang’s menu, and you thought that was just the bare minimum you deserved at that moment. You clearly didn’t expect her to help you up while you were definitely still weak on your knees, and you didn’t expect her to suddenly take you home.

So your mind momentarily went blank. 

Just like a PC that has been restarted, you began processing Alexandra’s offer to take you back home, and your feel yourself getting conflicted between letting her take you home for you to finally let another person help you from the ordeal you had sustained, or refusing her help just so you could prove you can still handle your own. 

But you were left with no choice as Alexandra said, “I insist. You’re much safer with me.”

With one speechless nod from you, she led you to the car where her two bodyguards were waiting and helped you settle at the back of the car, where she usually took her place.

I thought I knew

I was so confident that I knew everything

But I didn’t know, with you

As I get close to you, it gets more complicated

Even when I have something to say, my head goes blank

At the end of the day, I’m saying just meaningless words

“Another rampage, bossing?” one of the bodyguards, who was driving the black Sedan you were in, asked. “Those aswang sure are relentless.”

“At least you didn’t need to call us for help though,” remarked the other bodyguard, who looked like he was the twin of the man who spoke earlier. 

Right beside you, Alexandra let out a sigh for self-relief and responded, “Those aswang were easy prey. They were reckless enough to just corner a helpless passerby out in the night without any calculated plan of attack.”

The long-haired man at the wheel then replied, “Too hungry to even think, eh? ‘Yan tuloy.”

You paid no mind to the rest of the conversation between Alexandra and her bodyguards, instead finding yourself thinking about how secure you felt as the babaylan-mandirigma helped you up on your feet earlier under that streetlight. To you, her expression was nonchalantly serious, with a slight hint of concern that never escaped your perception. 

That concern never appeared for your eyes to see, but you felt it. It was there. Just for you, at that very moment after she saved you.

The train of thought halted to a stop in your head as Alexandra finally turned to you and said, “I never got your name. Do you want to tell me what it is?”

Turning to her with an expression akin to that of a child talking to their first crush, you stuttered, “I-it’s (Y/N). T-thanks again, for s-saving me back there, I t-thought I was gonna be a goner!”

Her eyes never leaving your form, she then replied, “It was a relief that I got to you before those monsters did.”

“Serves me right for waiting for a jeepney at an area without people, huh?” you remarked with a nervous chuckle, as a sign that you’ve finally found your keenness in freely attempting a conversation with Alexandra Trese, of all people. 

You thought she would reply to what you would refer to as a careless remark, but it seemed that you were wrong as one of the twin bodyguards replied to you instead.

“You were easy bait for those aswang, but no worries. Bossing got to you just in time.”

When I hold your hand

I feel like being a baby again

And I go whining and saying, “Don’t look at me like that”

I look you in the eye and take one step closer to you

No matter how much I plan and prepare

When I’m with you, I’m just a baby

Finally arriving at your place, Alexandra ordered her bodyguards to wait for her by the Sedan and turned to walk you to the front entrance. Out of gratitude, you finally mustered to thank your savior once again, which she answered with a nod and her replying, “Take care of yourself next time,” before she finally turned to where her vehicle was parked. 

You felt your heart sink then as she walked to the car by herself. What has gotten into you? She just saved you from an aswang attack, as is her duty as the mediator between humanity and the creatures of the underworld, and she probably doesn’t have the luxury of time to be the subject of anyone’s interest or courtship. So what was the matter? Why were you feeling as if you wanted, scratch that, needed to see her again?

Countless times before, you swore to yourself that you were the type of person not to fall for just anyone, regardless of how extraordinary they seem, regardless of whether they stood out in your eyes or not, out of fear of this weakness being exploited anyway and you being set up for disappointment in the long run. No, you would never let fragility get the best of you just because someone outright snagged you from a close call of an aswang attack.

Regardless of your distaste for showing weakness, that beating heart of yours nagged at you to call out her name and spend a few more seconds with her anyway.

Driven by your own resounding heartbeat, you called out to her while race-walking towards her, “Alex!”

Ey (I’m a)

Can I call you baby?

Ey (I’m a)

In front of love, I’m just a baby

Just like that, you got her phone number, along with a reminder from her to call her when you need help with anything out of the ordinary, which is pretty much another way of referring to supernatural occurrences or anything involving the supernatural realm. 

Under that same spotlight by the jeepney stop at night, still alone, you exited to your phone’s main menu and find your thumb almost grazing the contacts icon at the bottom of your screen. You pressed on that Contacts icon and found Alexandra Trese’s name right under the “A” list in your contacts, underneath a bunch of registered numbers without any proper names to them. With longing, you stared at that name along with her number.

‘I have your number, Alex. Can I call you anytime then, even when I’m not in trouble?’

I know I shouldn’t whine about it

I know it well that you’re everything in my mind

My heart wants you

I want your love

This feeling is so toxic

You’re the only antidote

“Fancy seeing you here again, (Y/N).”

The heart that was already fluttering in your chest skipped a beat upon hearing that familiar voice. Quickly, you turned to the owner of that special voice right beside you, belonging to none other than the person who has been plaguing your thoughts since that fateful night. As if by instinct, you smiled lightly and greeted her, “It’s good to see you again here, Alex. What brings you here tonight?”

I’m sure about my feelings but I can’t control them

The way I talk to you, treat you, and behave towards you

Is so immature

Mature person, Mature love

Mature man, I thought it would be easy

Everything is difficult in front of you

Alexandra filled you in on her agenda for tonight, “I was wondering if there was going to be something unusual happening tonight that concerned the aswang clans that have gone out of control. Strangely, nothing has been happening in this particular street, unlike the last time I saw you here.”

Your (e/c) orbs gone soft, you looked upon her as you replied with a chuckle, “And then you found me instead.”

Her own eyes slightly widened, the woman before you cleared her throat and answered, “Yes I did. And I’m relieved to know you’re safe tonight.”

Time passed, and the silence between you and Alexandra remained as she stayed vigilant and prepared for a possible aswang attack that could happen right where the two of you were standing right now. Worried, you checked the digital clock on your phone once again, which read, “11:43 PM.” Upon being aware that it was actually past your bedtime, your features manifested a look of both worry and frustration, and Alexandra seemed to have noticed it herself.

“Are you okay, (Y/N)?”

“I am, it’s just,” you let out a tiny whimper as you continued, “it’s past my bedtime already, I had to stay behind in school to help out with an org activity the day after, and I haven’t even studied for my exam tomorrow. I hate it when I can’t ride a jeepney right away going home.”

Hold your horses. Did you just rant to Alexandra Trese about your current predicament?

What should I do?

Am I under the illusion?

Will this end easily?

(Oh na na na na what should I do)

Closer (Oh na na na na what should I do)

I want to come to you and get to you

Out of embarrassment from the complaint you just uttered to the person who once saved you from the aswang, the person who brought you home out of kindness, the person you have admired for a long time but never had the chance to tell out of fear of rejection and quite possibly your own consideration for her duties to both the human and otherworldly realms, warm blood rushed to your cheeks and you covered your face as you apologized, “Sorry Alex, I didn’t mean to bother you about my own personal troubles. I can handle it by myself, I promise.”

A hand on your shoulder finally prompted you to look right at her, your head finally unobscured by the hands which formerly shrouded the remains of your embarrassed demeanor.

“Want me to take you home again, (Y/N)?”

This was your one chance to be with this one hell of a woman yet again, like the last time you both were under that same streetlight by the jeepney stop.

What made the current circumstance different from before was that you were not afraid to accept her offer this time. You were hell-bent on getting Alexandra to remember you as much as you continued to remember her and savor that special memory with her.

(Baby)

(I want to come to you and get to you)

No matter how much I plan and prepare

When I’m with you, I’m just a

With an unexplained expression driven by a growing fondness for the babaylan-mandirigma before you, you finally replied to her, “Of course Alex. Thanks again, I appreciate it so much.”

Alexandra then took you by the hand and led her to where that same black Sedan was parked. Cherishing the warmth of her hand, you slightly tightened your hold as if to say, ‘I love holding your hand, and I don’t plan on letting it go anytime.’

I look you in the eye and take one step closer to you

No matter how much I plan and prepare

When I’m with you, I’m just a baby

Ey (I’m a)

Can I call you baby?

Ey (I’m a)

In front of love

I’m just a baby

[fluffyskies]

You owe me

Sanders Sides

Ship: Prinxiety

Category: Soft tickling/Cuddling

Characters: Ler Roman, Lee Virgil!

Summary: You guys know Tik tok? I believe you at least heard of it. Virgil stumbles upon a video that he could use to his advantage because he's craving some cuddles.

Virgil was in his room and was scrolling on Tik tok the new app he downloaded a couple days ago. He stopped scrolling when he came across an interesting post. The captions in it says send this to someone you care about and if they don't reply in the next 5 seconds they owe you cuddles!. Virgil paused and blushed a bit he was in the mood for cuddles. So without anymore hesitation he clicked the share icon and sent it to Roman. After he sent it he put his phone down and covered his face making cute whining noises.

When Virgil's message had sent, Roman's phone made a ding but he didn't hear it let alone know anyone had sent him something. Roman was in the imagination at the moment and was exploring, he didn't bring his phone because he did not want to lose it or break it.

It had already been more then 5 seconds and Virgil had sent it almost 2 minutes ago. So he picked up his phone and looked at the messages. His eyes sparkled when he didn't see a reply but Roman hasn't even see his message yet. So he assumed that he was busy and would check his phone later.

Some hours later~

Virgil groaned when he checked his phone for like the one hundredth time. He knew that Roman wasn't the fastest at replying to text messages but he should of replied by now. He suddenly heard a knock at the door.

"Yes, come in". The door opened and he saw Patton. "Hey kiddo, dinner's ready" he said excitingly. "Ok I'll be down in a minute" he said looking at his phone again and frowning. "Virge you ok?" Patton asked concerned. "W-what? Oh yeah I'm fine" he said looking away. "Oh ok, if you say so, but if anything is wrong you can talk to me ok?". Virgil nodded and he left closing his door, his foot steps were heard as he went down the hall to the stairs. Virgil decided to get up and make his way to the kitchen for dinner. Once he got there he noticed Roman wasn't present, he stop walking "Where's Princey?" He asked. "If I recall he's in the imagination" Logan answered. "O-oh ok..." he mumbled. "Why you need him?" Logan asked. "N-no...I mean y-yes but it's not important" he stuttered. Logan raised a brow "I can tell him that you were looking for him when he comes back" offered Logan. "Thanks Tech" Virgil smiled. "No problem" Logan replied. Virgil watched as Patton set the table.

"When is Roman gonna come back?" Virgil asked. "I don't know kiddo, you never know with Roman especially when he's exploring the imagination" Patton said looking at him. Virgil just stayed silent for the rest of the time and while they ate he didn't say much. "Ok I'm done" he said getting up pushing his chair in and putting his plate in the sink. He told Patton and Logan that he’s going back to his room.

A few hours later~

Virgil was still in his room mopping but he was starting to to feel a bit sleepy. Logan and Patton were watching Disney on the sofa, when Roman came in. They both turned their heads when they heard foot steps. "Hey Ro!" Patton greeted. "Hello Roman" Logan said. "Greetings my fellow sides I just got back from my amazing trip in the imagination". He paused and looked around "Where's Stormcloud?" He asked. Patton's face went a little sad. "What ever is the matter Patton" Logan's expression turning into a worried look. "Well...when I went to get Virge for dinner I saw him frowning at his phone" Patton explained. "Do you know why he was sad?" Logan asked. "No, I don't know but it almost seems as though he was waiting for something to happen" he answered. Logan's eyes widened and he looked at Roman "I think this has something to do with you Roman". Romans face looked surprised and confused at the exact same time. "Me?" He questioned. "Yes, he was asking about you when he came down for dinner but when he noticed that you weren’t here he looked sad". "Not to mention he barely said a word when we were eating" Patton added. "Yes that too" Logan confirmed. "Ok I'll go visit the Shadowling right now" as he turned to leave. "Roman before you do please look at your phone" Patton asked. He wasn't sure why he had to look at his phone but he didn't question it "Ok will do Padre" and he was gone.

He ran up the stairs to his room and grabbed this phone that was sitting on the desk. When he opened it there was a message from Virgil. He clicked it and it opened showing a Tik tok video, as he watched it he read the captions. Roman thought to himself if I don't reply in the next 5 seconds I owe him cuddles?. Ok when did he send this- as he read the time when Virgil had sent it his eyes widened oh crap 5 hours ago!?. So as fast as he could he dropped his phone on his bed and ran over to Virgil's room and knocked on the door.

Virgil eyes were closed but he heard the sound of a familiar voice. "Virge? Are you in there?" the voice called. So he opened one eye "Come in". The door opened and there was Roman he came in and closed the door behind him. "Hey Stormcloud" he said. Virgil rubbed his eyes and sat up "Took you long enough..." as he pouted. Roman walked over to the edge of his bed "I guess I owe you cuddles now" he said sheepishly. Virgil's pout disappeared as he gestured him to lay in bed with a smile. Roman climbed in and put the covers on top of him. He pulled Virgil close as they move to a spooning position. Virgil relaxed into the warm touch as Romans arms wrapped around his torso. It had been about 5 minutes and Virgil felt a tingly sensation on his stomach. Roman's hand that was resting on his belly had started to trace small light circles and they felt tickly. Virgil started to let out puffs of air and squirmed a bit at the playful touch. Roman made the touch just a bit firmer and switched to little scribbles because of the sudden switch you could start to hear muffled titters that left Virgil's mouth but his face was covered by his hands. Then a squeak left his mouth when Roman's hand sped up a bit and went close to his giggle button. He grabbed on to Roman's wrist weakly "Noho tihihickles". "But this is my apology to replying late to your text" he playfully argued. "Buhuhut yohou owe mehehe cuhuhudles nahaht tihihIHICKLES!" his laughter spiked when he felt fingers on his belly button. "Ok ok fine I'll stop" Roman said with a pout and stopped tickling. "How about tickles tomorrow?" he asked. "Mayhehebe" he said with is leftover giggles. "Whatever you want my Stormy Knight" he said as he smiled. Virgil thought he should send more Tik toks, and he wouldn’t mind if Roman took forever to respond. "Hey Virge?" Romans voice interrupted his thoughts. "Yeah?". "You know you can ask me for cuddles anytime right?not just through text" he said. Virgil was silent for a moment then muttered a "Yes I know". Minutes passed and both of them drifted off to sleep cuddling in each other’s embrace.

Hi you have reached the end sorry if it was a bit long and if there were a couple of mistakes ;-; but I hope you enjoyed! Have a nice day :D.

[lit-in-thy-heart]

For the ask game, the scene in marigolds where they rescue Gwaine from the rock and Merlin summons the fucking massive dragon and Pelleas helps them and Lancelot threatens to haunt him if he double crosses them 🤣🤣🤣 ICONIC

dfghjkl ah yes the scene that would have been lancelot clutching adoption papers had his hands not been full with gwaine 🤣

ngl the merlin shouting in the background was actually partially inspired by six days but obviously in a different context (and that scene is also one that springs to mind for you because i still can't, it legitimately had me in hysterics) but merlin screaming in the background whilst other people are trying to have a conversation is something i love :D

i feel like lance haunting people would just be him appearing when they're on the toilet or something and giving them a withering glare. he's not really the type to follow them around with unholy screams and i think that's very original of him

tysm for the ask!!! 💕💕

(the scene is under the cut)

In all Gwaine’s nightmares, it had been light when he had been about to drown. Clouds had formed a shield around him, preventing any rescue, and he had been helpless as the tide had gradually crept forward like a legion, struggling against bonds that he could see but not untie. This, somehow, was worse. The moonlight ricocheted off the water’s surface and refracted in numerous directions, illuminating patches of the sea that left Gwaine completely at a loss as to the vastness of it. Even though he knew dry land was close, the rock – now at a higher level than his head – obscured his view and, wherever he looked, it was all darkness and glimmering scales where the moonlight dipped its fingers into the sea. Wherever he looked, he was alone.

The cold was digging its nails into him and trying to draw blood but instead injecting fatigue and Gwaine, knowing nothing but the certainty of his fate, closed his eyes once more. He relaxed his muscles as his mouth became submerged in the water, diluted salt trickling into his parted lips, his nose only millimetres from joining it. At least Anselm wouldn’t be able to use him to control Merlin. At least he wouldn’t be able to fail Merlin and Lancelot again. At least it would all be over.

‘Gwaine! Gwaine!’

Apparently hearing the voices of the people you loved in your final moments wasn’t just a comforting myth, because Lancelot’s voice was piercing the rolling fog in Gwaine’s head quite successfully. It was odd that he could also hear Merlin roaring spells in the distance, too, because Gwaine didn’t really associate Merlin with violence. Merlin and his voice belonged to the tentative dawn and amongst the chorus of birds that came with it, belonged with the rustling leaves in a gentle breeze and the jewelled grass, not to the furious fire that could take apart whole armies. Just like Lancelot and his voice belonged to the stark sunset and the whispers of tendrils of clouds, belonged with the constellations that covered the heavens in a thin layer of protective dust and the bleeding colours of day, not to the agonised desperation that could cause the sky itself to fissure.

Still, any last thoughts of them brought Gwaine comfort.

There was a blunt shout from behind but Gwaine didn’t react, wanting nothing more than to sleep. His nose ducked below the surface and everything around him became muffled as his ears were cushioned by the water.

It might have been for minutes or years that Gwaine was suspended there, tethered to the rock, before he was hauled from the water with someone calling his name in a strangled voice between obscene swearing.

An arm was wrapped around Gwaine’s waist to support him as he instinctively tried to inhale and began coughing, his whole body convulsing in the attempt to dispel the water. After the threat had seemingly been combated, his legs gave way but he was caught before he could fall and drawn close to a hammering heart.

Gwaine could feel the next words stir within him, transmitted by the vibrations of his rescuer’s vocal cords, as he drifted to the fringes of consciousness. ‘Merlin! Merlin, I’ve got him!’ Something angular dropped onto the top of Gwaine’s head, movement grating against his scalp. ‘It’s okay, it’s okay. We’ve got you, you’re safe.’

‘Lance…’M’sorry…’

Lancelot, feeling Gwaine’s body go limp, rested him against the rock, hand fumbling for a pulse in panic. Glancing towards the shore, he could see that Merlin was gradually advancing, his face contorted with rage in the flashes of it Lancelot could catch as flares embedded themselves in bandits. Lancelot had seen Merlin use magic before, of course, but never so violently; from the moment they had broken from the cell, Merlin had been ruthless in the damage he had dealt. The streaks of fire penetrating the atmosphere provided Lancelot with a little visual aid and, satisfied that Gwaine was still breathing, he used his own body to prop up his partner, hands groping for the shackles.

Merlin was going to kill him for discarding his sling – if the pain in his shoulder didn’t kill him first – but Lancelot gritted his teeth and focused instead on trying to free Gwaine. Which, apparently, was going to be harder than he’d first thought. The waves were slapping against higher and higher points of Lancelot’s back and he pushed one leg between both of Gwaine’s to steady him further. His fingers clawed at the iron uselessly, trying to pull apart the cuffs around Gwaine’s wrists, but it was futile. Frantically, Lancelot turned his gaze back towards the shore and latched onto Merlin’s formidable figure, who was in the middle of throwing back the bandit posted to guard Gwaine, whom Lancelot had darted past in the darkness.

‘They’re chains,’ Lancelot cried out when Merlin was close enough, voice cracking, ‘chains, not rope. I can’t get them off.’

Merlin splashed through the water as quickly as he could, fingers grazing Lancelot’s as he examined the chains. There was an explosion of light as Merlin muttered an incantation and winced, his hand going to his chest. He brushed off the twinge and checked that the tether had been severed, glancing towards Lancelot. ‘We have to get him out of the water and get him warm.’

Lancelot was already in the process of doing so; he had laid Gwaine out on the rock once more and was angling his body to drape Gwaine over his uninjured shoulder.

‘Lance, no, your shoulder—’

‘I’ll be careful,’ Lancelot replied, straightening his posture and hooking his left arm around the backs of Gwaine’s knees. ‘Unless you have a better solution?’

‘I’ll take him.’

‘Over my dead body,’ was the sharp response. ‘You’re not meant to be lifting heavy objects and I’m pretty sure a human body comes under the category of “heavy objects”. Do you still have the cloak?’ Lancelot added as he began to wade back to shore, nervously keeping an eye on the castle’s silhouette.

Following the knight, Merlin untied the cloak from his waist. ‘I can do a drying spell,’ he offered. ‘I don’t know how much it will help, but anything is better than nothing, right?’

With a nod, Lancelot spun around when his boots made contact with dry land and watched Merlin place a hand on Gwaine’s exposed back. His eyes shone and, as they faded, he arranged the cloak over Gwaine’s form. Lancelot trapped the material between his hand and Gwaine’s legs, looking towards the castle again. ‘It’s not going to take them long to figure out where we’ve gone. And Gwaine took more blows than he can probably handle back in the throne room…’

Lancelot broke off before he added to his panic by recalling the images that had shot by only moments before – of Gwaine seemingly lifeless in the water, his slurred speech, his helplessness. This was the second time in just over a fortnight that Lancelot had felt his heart contract with terror at the sight of Gwaine’s lifeless form, but he was no less used to it. Stilling for a moment, Lancelot registered the faint sound of Gwaine breathing and relaxed slightly. They had to get him to Camelot.

Merlin’s hand was resting on his uninjured shoulder. ‘It’s alright. I’ve got an idea. We need to start moving towards the mainland.’

‘It’s not something stupid or dangerous, is it?’

‘Not for us,’ Merlin assured him, giving Lancelot’s shoulder a small squeeze. He kissed him gently before dropping a kiss in the midst of Gwaine’s now-dry hair. ‘We’re going to be okay. Start moving. I’ll catch up.’

Lights – pinpricks of bronze blood against the night sky – were eddying towards them from the direction of the castle. ‘Merlin—’

Merlin pushed his shoulder. ‘I’ll be fine. Go. Get Gwaine to safety.’

Hesitating momentarily, Lancelot started forwards as the lights behind them expanded. With his right arm hanging limply by his side, he contracted the muscles in his left arm to more firmly support Gwaine and glanced over his shoulder. Merlin had turned away and stood with his legs slightly apart, his head tilted towards the sky. The words that emerged from his mouth reached Lancelot clearly, but that didn’t help him decipher their meaning.

'O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!’

Although, picking up on the word ‘drakon’, Lancelot could hazard a guess as to what would be involved. Merlin repeated the phrase, more insistently this time, and the guttural quality to the syllables that stretched over Merlin’s tongue sent Lancelot’s skin erupting into goosebumps.

He turned his mouth towards Gwaine’s motionless body, the faint smile grazing the muscles concealed by the cloak. ‘Gwaine,’ he whispered, ‘you are going to kick yourself later for missing this.’ It might have been his imagination, but Gwaine seemed to shift slightly against him. ‘But don’t worry, my love, I’ll tell you all about it when you’re better.’ He paused before pressing a kiss to the cloak. ‘Rest well, now, my love, it’s all going to be fine, I promise you.’

Raising his head, Lancelot looked back at Merlin, who was still standing stubbornly in the place that he’d been left. He was also still shouting and didn’t notice a figure streak past until they were halfway towards Lancelot. Breaking off his call, Merlin fired a ball of flames at the figure but they swerved to the side and stumbled to a halt beside Lancelot, who had ceased all movement.

Reflexively, Lancelot reached down and removed the knife Gwaine had given him from his boot, biting down on his lip to avoid crying out, and held it out. ‘Don’t come any closer,’ he threatened.

‘Put the knife down, I’m here to help you.’

Still holding the knife, Lancelot squinted at the tangled hair. ‘You’re the one Gwaine had to fight. You were going to kill him.’

‘Anselm would have killed me.’ The bandit let out an impatient noise. ‘Look, I don’t know what batshit thing your friend is doing over there, but whatever it is, it’s only going to hold the others off for so long. And you can’t carry Gwaine by yourself.’

Desperately, Lancelot looked between the bandit and Merlin. Finally, he shoved the knife back in his boot. ‘Fine. But if you hand us over to Anselm, I will haunt you so hard—’

‘I’m not going to hand you over to Anselm. Gwaine told me to get out if I could, so I thought I’d take advantage of the chaos you caused. Give him here.’

With a grunt, Lancelot lowered Gwaine and draped one of his arms over his shoulder, motioning for the bandit to support the other side. ‘What’s your name?’

‘Pelleas.’

Lancelot took a step forward. ‘Right, Pelleas, we’re heading in the direction called as-far-the-fuck-away-from-here-as-possible. Merlin said he’d catch up with us, and I trust him—’

‘Merlin?’

Lancelot silently swore. ‘Did I say Merlin? I meant Will. Will said he’d catch up with us—’

‘Is that a dragon?’

Lifting his head, Lancelot watched as the stars were obscured by a large mass before a creature landed beside Merlin and was unable to conceal a smile. ‘A fucking massive dragon, I think.’

Pelleas frowned at him. ‘There’s a difference?’

‘Oh, yes.’ The smile on Lancelot’s face faded as a strong stream of fire issued from the dragon’s jaw, directed at the bandits approaching Merlin. ‘Thank you for your assistance, but we’ll be able to take it from here. And, if you want my advice, run as far away from here as fast as possible and don’t look back. And breathe a word about Mer—Will to anyone—’

‘I won’t,’ Pelleas hurriedly said. ‘I won’t.’ He ducked out from beneath Gwaine’s arm. ‘If—If Gwaine wakes, tell him I forgive him.’

With that, Pelleas melted into the darkness.

Lancelot tried not to think too hard about the ‘if’. Merlin was running towards them and Lancelot hoisted Gwaine up, their cheeks brushing together. ‘No pressure, my love, but it would be really helpful if you could wake up right about now. I’ve never had to mount a dragon before—’ Lancelot waited for an interjection in the form of a dick joke, but it didn’t come. ‘Well, not a real dragon, because Merlin’s magnificence doesn’t count.’ He paused again. ‘I can’t believe that I’m making dick jokes and you’re too unconscious to make note of it. Anyway, I’ve never had to mount a dragon before, let alone with an unconscious knight relying on me. So, if you could wake up…’

As he moved his ear to Gwaine’s mouth to check that breath was still hitting his cheek, weak words were shaped by the breeze. ‘’S’my method. Humour‘s a d’fense mech’nism.’

Lancelot drew his face away. ‘Yeah, well, you weren’t around to use it.’

‘Right here, ‘n’t I?’ Gwaine struggled to open his eyes: the lids flickered but remained steadfastly closed. ‘Right though. Mer’in does have a dr’gon dick.’

Laughing as tears collected in the corners of his eyes, Lancelot shook his head. ‘I can’t believe all it took was a dick joke to revive you.’ He pressed his lips to Gwaine’s forehead. ‘I fucking love you, you know that? And it’s all going to be okay. We’re going to get you back home and patched up and everything is going to be fine and no harm is ever going to come to you again and—’

‘Lance…’

Whatever Gwaine was about to say, though, was interrupted by Merlin’s arrival as he skidded to a halt in front of them, one hand on his chest with the other holding an orb of light. In the fragmented illumination, the corners of his mouth were twisted in pain and his breathless words were ragged. ‘Kil—Kilgharrah can take us to the woods just outside the citadel,’ he gasped out. ‘And he’s also helpfully offered to torch the place.’

‘Pelleas…’ murmured Gwaine.

Lancelot buried his mouth in Gwaine’s hairline. ‘Pelleas got out, my love, it’s alright. Save your strength.’ Catching the start of Pelleas’s name in Merlin’s tone, Lancelot cut him off softly. ‘Later, Merlin. There will be time then. What do we need to do?’

Sparing a moment to give Gwaine a tearful kiss, whose mouth flickered minutely in response, Merlin turned back towards Kilgharrah. ‘We just need to get on his back. We can—We can sort Gwaine out when we’re settled and secure.’

At the sound of his name, Gwaine finally managed to open his eyes. He was confronted with blazing fires and a very large shape a little way off and, blinking drowsily, he leaned closer into Lancelot. ‘’S’at the fuckin’ massive drag’n?’

‘Perhaps don’t call him that,’ Merlin fondly said, voice just carrying over Lancelot’s reminder of what he had just said to Gwaine. ‘His name is Kilgharrah and he is the last dragon.’

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda ����, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

[oikaw-ugh]

hi leia, i saw your post abt a matchup and here i am to request for one (if it's open tho!!) HAHAHAHA you probably know me so well already because we chat almost everyday jdksjsk but i'll add some general things lang: im shy and awkward at first but when i warm up to you, i bring out my chaotic side (wow remember those 20 qs we did? HAHAHA iconic) default mode: a chill homebody, but if you successfully drag me to a fun place (like amusement parks) i'll be grateful to u forever :> +

HALLO, DILAAAAG ✨ I HAD FUN DOING THISSSS MY BRAIN WENT *snap*

I match you up with...

Me✨

CHOS! My other choices were Lev and Goshiki but I match you up with...

Tanaka Ryūnosuke (��•ᴗ•◍)✧*。

Mainly because Tanaka screams Pinoy vibes to me.

But also because he's so spontaneous and I feel like you love spontaneous people! (Kasi when you react to my replies minsan napakabongga HAHAHAHA)

Also, kasi I know you're shy (if 'di mo pa close) + he's shy when it comes to girls, too! THE DYNAMICS SPEAKS-

Let's throwback during your college freshman year.

You're a transfer student who just seemed so lost in the sea of people.

Plus the fact that you're not from Japan (assume lang tayo Dilag wala namang bayad mangarap HAHAHAHAH) just screams: a n x i e t y ✨

Well, you weren't the only one who's anxious though...

"E-Excuse me?"

You look to your right only to see a semi bald guy with a constipated face. His ears are so red + his lips look funny.

You who is anxious as well: "Ha?"

He shows you his card and like asks you if you knew where these classrooms are.

And you literally cried because you're classmates with almost (almost) all of his general subjects!

Tanaka brightens with this and like, suddenly his awkwardness is gone!

"Do you want to go to our first class together?"

Rumor has it that Tanaka knew where his classes were. He just wanted to talk to you :>

This approach has been mastered, honed, and consecutively developed for three years alongside with his humble partner, Nishinoya

Since you're classmates at general subs, it's given that you seat with each other.

I think your friendship started the moment Tanaka approached you on the opening ceremony.

But it developed when classes started. Tanaka started sharing that he was a volleyball player during high school and like, he was the best and he was the greatest and sorts.

You're just there nodding at him, completely in awe bc WOW an athlete. You're friends w an athlete.

He learns that you're not a Japanese, too! And when he immediately knew you're a Filipino, the first thing he blurts out is:

"TANGINA"

THIS GOT YOU WHEEZING. Because of that, you jokingly slapped his arms, "Huy, Tanaka!" While laughing

He apparently knows a couple of phrases because he plays online games like DOTA and stuff.

By phrases = we mean curses

But this isn't one-sided! You told him you knew Japanese (let's say you're not fluent yet) and you learned from the best: anime

Tanaka: Really? Try telling me a phrase then.

You: ちんこぱだいすき.

Kidding. That's on me. I'd definitely say that. Also, I'm not sure with the hiragana characters, forgive me.

ANYWAYS, TANAKA GOES RED BECAUSE OF THIS AND LIKE, HE LOOKS AWAY AND LIKE "W-What are you saying?!" And stuff.

Then you laugh because he becomes a mess.

I think the confessing part is the hardest.

Because Tanaka is just a huge m e s s when it comes to girls! While you're too scared to confess because what if he doesn't like you back?

Both of you are like, trying to balance whether it was worth the risk or nah

Karasuno squad is just like, groaning everytime Tanaka called them for advice.

Like, Suga: Jesus Christ, Tanaka. Just confess already.

Tanaka is like: But what if it doesn't work out? What if she only sees me as a friend? What if-

Tsukki: What if someone else takes her away?

Tanaka:

Tanaka: *angry mom noises*

I feel like imagining you dating was his strongest drive to confess!

He wants to confess in classical way, though. You know, he gives a message asking you to go to the sakura tree at the left side of the campus at 5 o'clock.

Only that that won't work since you're both college students and you have the messiest schedules.

You on the phone (while on your way to a class): Look, Tanaka I thought I'm free at 5. Turns out I'm not. What is it that you want to tell me?

Tanaka on the phone: it's... it's just that I want to say I like you.

You: 👁️/////👄/////👁️

Dates: ARE COOL

He loves how you're just good to go to places he mentions you.

Tanaka: I found this coffee shop where we can play with snakes.

Karasuno team would normally think he's being creepy but you were like:

"OMG I WANNA SEE THAT"

But kids, please don't play w/ snakes-

Favorite activity would be CHIKA TIME! Tanaka learned this phrase from you.

And like, you two would sit somewhere, cafeteria, library, etc. and would just start dissing other people.

Tanaka: I bet you those two are about to break up.

You: Yeah. Just look at their faces.

You love taking pictures, asking for his hoodie, clinging arms with each other while walking and stuff.

He also loves to place his arm on your shoulders? Like as if you're bros?

Domestic dates, too! Especially that you're far away from your fam, Tanaka invites you to his house most of the time.

*whisper* Something...steamy happens?

N o because Tanaka drinks his respect woman juice and he thinks too highly of you for him to do that!

Respect juice contents btw: he supports you, the things you want, the clothes you wear, and he treats you like an equal! (Not some sort of material he possesses wedontdosexismhere)

Kisses can happen thoughhh but rarely because you two would go crazy with the uwu after.

You're so frequent at his place to the point that Saeko loves you and literally bonds with you more than Tanaka when you're at their place.

If it's the other way around, Tanaka is sooooo stiff when he visits your place.

He's never been to a girl's house before!

You: Tanaka, make yourself feel at home.

Tanaka: ᶜᵃⁿ ᶦ ˢᶦᵗ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵘᵍˀ

Fights happen too.

I feel like Tanaka is a jealous type.

The first time Tanaka got jealous, you found it cute.

But when it happened over and over again, that got you mad.

It might start with jealousy but it ends up turning serious like:

"Do you not believe in me?"

"I can't believe you said that."

"You think I'd do that to you?"

"Is that what you think of me?"

And like the other party would be speechless but you guys would be too heated and too prideful to apologize on the spot.

The reason why the following days would just be a season of you both ignoring each other.

But don't get me wrong. You still do things together. Like eating lunches together, sitting at one another, going home together but just no talking.

Like no talking at all!

I feel like Tanaka is the first one who gives in. He hates it when he couldn't talk to you. At first, he calls his friends and their words make him realize that:

"Ah, shit. I fucked up." -Tanaka at 3 AM.

You both fix things up eventually. Like, before you knew it, one of you would just casually approach the other as if you haven't ignored each other for a week.

HSJSJSJSJ I hope you like it dilaggg! And tell me if I'm accur8 or naaaaah HAHAHAHAHHA

[ynkkoo-a]

            ♡◞  𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐨  𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬  𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒖  !

            not  at  me  repurposing  one  of  my  theme  graphics  bc  i’m  a  lil  lazy  babie  ,  but  !  since  i  jus  hit  another  follower  milestone  n  the  decade  is  comin  to  a  close  ,  i  jus  wanted  to  say  thank  u  to  all  my  mutuals  n  followers  n  such  who  rly  made  this  last  year  enjoyable  on  this  hellsite  !  2019  was  tough  on  a  lot  of  us  in  a  lot  of  ways  ,  but  we  all  did  it  ,  babyluvs  !  we  saw  it  out  to  the  end  n  hopefully  the  20′s  are  a  lot  prettier  for  us  all  !  p.s.  i’m  sorry  to  anyone  not  mentioned  !  i  hav  the  memory  n  attention  span  of  a  babie  fish  ,  but  i  luv  all  of  u  soso  so  much  n  u  rly  all  do  mean  the  absolute  world  to  me  !  ♡

            first  off  ,  jus’  a  quick  an  honourable  mention  to  all  of  my  nonnies  of  the  year  ,  wherever  u  babies  are  now  !  in  particular  ,  my  cherry  nonnie  ,  my  jk  anon  (  @jminacious​​  )  ,  my  boo  ,  my  strawberry  nonnie  ,  n  my  grades  anon  !  n  anyone  else  who  has  sent  me  sweet  nonnies  ,  these  r  jus  the  recurring  ones  of  the  year  heh  !  u  sweet  nonnies  own  my  heart  n  truly  made  this  blog  such  a  lovely  n  pretty  n  positive  experience  for  me  ,  n  i  cannot  properly  express  w  words  how  much  all  of  ur  sweet  mssgs  meant  n  mean  to  me  always  !  ^♡^

            starting  off  w  the  mutuals  i  literally  never  speak  to  ,  bc  of  my  shy  babie  antics  ,  but  who  i  admire  from  afar  so  much  !  ur  all  soso  talented  ,  jus  all  around  beautiful  souls  who  deserve  the  prettiest  days  .  pleathe  feel  free  to  come  talk  to  me  ,  i’ll  luv  u  down  w  my  whole  heart  since  i’m  practically  ur  secret  admirer  anyway  .

@miyanez , @kimseokjvn , @rmsrpt , @capitae , @chunghart , @aronpiper , @jinjeongguks , @yukhciz , @cjdoesrpt , @pocmuzings ,  @chuuiez , @leeieno , @igorrpt , @luvgifs , @joonkookies , @drunkblushed , @savta , @frcylan , @jinsoouls  !

            now  ,  to  give  all  my  luv  to  those  who  literally  . . .  hav  my  heart  .  we  haven’t  talked  much  ,  again  bc  i’m  a  shy  babie  ,  tho  sum  of  us  hav  jus  recently  been  talking  more  which  makes  me  very  sparkly  ,  but  !  we  exchange  ims  here  or  there  ,  send  an  ask  or  two  ,  reply  to  n  like  each  other’s  posts  ,  support  each  other’s  content  ---  u  know  ,  we’re  cute  mutuals  !  the  ‘  will  they  ,  won’t  they  ‘  mutuals  !  for  realsies  ,  tho  ,  ur  all  so  talented  ,  whether  it  be  in  making  gifs  or  themes  or  graphics  or  writing  or  whatever  !  ur  talent  astounds  me  n  i  am  beyond  in  luv  w  u  !

@sprfluous , @chanheez , @loonarz , @jungjnsoul , @yeriimss , @hotjoong , @hiqey , @tcehyvng , @kvinabstract , @stcinfelds , @kermitgrinch , @mcninas , @doyyeon , @jminssii , @jiminslolli , @raihelps , @svnflxwer , @softcarpenters  !

            n  now  for  honourable  mentions  !  the  few  ppl  on  this  site  who  my  shy  babie  antics  did  not  keep  me  from  talking  to  n  becoming  friends  w  .  these  are  the  literal  luvs  of  my  life  !  our  ships  are  literally  *chefs  kiss*  ,  i  feel  comfy  cryin’  n  rantin’  to  u  guys  without  worryin  abt  being  annoying  n  i  hope  the  feelin’  is  mutual  ,  i  don’t  feel  even  an  ounce  of  anxiety  when  talkin’  to  u  guys  which  is  such  a  major  thing  for  me  ?  i  consider  u  guys  my  friends  sm  n  our  friendship  literally  means  the  world  to  me  .  ur  soso  talented  in  so  many  ways  n  u  hav  the  loveliest  hearts  ,  n  i’m  so  honoured  to  be  able  to  be  ur  friend  n  to  write  w  u  all  !  

            p.s.  there’s  cute  lil  mssgs  for  each  of  u  under  the  cut  !

@pointlcss , @ultraviclets , @musetories , @briingmetolifc , @heartvfire  !

♡◞  @pointlcss  !

                    alli  !  ♡  i  am  literally  so  happy  that  u  happened  upon  my  lil  1x1  post  a  couple  months  back  n  decided  to  mssg  me  abt  threading  bc  our  cute  lil  starstruck  plot  turned  into  a  friendship  that  i  am  soso  so  thankful  for  ?  there  is  not  anyone  that  i  wld  hav  rather  gone  thru  it  over  jungoo’s  long  hair  ,  tattoos  ,  n  haircut  w  .  that  one  pic  of  jjk  from  season’s  greetings  as  our  matching  discord  icons  . . .  stayin’  up  to  yell  abt  stray  kids’  n  txt’s  comebacks  . . .  i  literally  luv  this  for  us  ?  ur  soso  talented  n  making  gifsets  n  writing  ,  n  i’m  so  happy  i  cld  make  this  last  year  a  lil  bit  special  for  u  ,  bc  u’ve  made  this  year  such  a  special  n  pretty  one  for  me  too  !  i  can’t  wait  to  see  where  our  cute  lil  plot  n  ship  takes  n  i  hope  the  year  has  even  more  luvly  things  in  store  for  us  !  i  luv  n  adore  u  soso  so  much  .  u  rly  are  the  sweetest  soul  out  there  n  i’m  so  happy  to  consider  u  a  friend  !  also  thank  u  for  jus’  now  informing  me  abt  bts’  2020  tour  i  owe  u  my  lifeKSHDKJ  ♡

♡◞  @ultraviclets  !

                    ness  !  ♡  literally  . . .  the  luv  of  my  life  ,  perhaps  ?  i  remember  following  u  when  u  published  ur  first  theme  ,  bc  i  was  jus  like  .  wowow  wubbzy  ?  this  is  beautiful  n  free  n  i’m  broke  n  u  hav  my  heart  ?  n  u  know  ,  for  a  while  we  were  sort  of  will  they  ,  won’t  they  mutuals  ,  too  ,  which  was  cute  for  us  ,  but  i  think  we  actually  started  talking  when  we  were  both  in  abroad  ?  n  then  u  mssged  me  later  on  to  lmk  that  jjk  was  open  in  ur  rp  if  i  wanted  to  join  n  it  made  me  so  absolutely  soft  ???  like  .  ik  it  was  jus  a  lil  thing  but  u  captured  my  whole  HEART  in  that  moment  ?  n  now  ur  genuinely  sumone  that  i  trust  so  much  ,  like  .  the  other  day  when  u  let  me  rant  to  u  a  lil  bit  abt  smth  kinda  silly  ,  rly  ,  it  jus  meant  the  world  to  me  ?  n  u  mean  the  world  to  me  n  !!!  writing  w  u  is  absolutely  wonderful  always  n  our  current  ship  is  *chefs  kiss*  even  tho  i  hav  yet  to  reply  to  our  thread  again  BUT  !!!  i  will  do  it  ,  i  pinky  promise  ,  i’m  sorry  i’m  the  worst  .  u  deserve  the  whole  wide  world  .  ur  talented  beyond  belief  ,  ur  such  a  blessing  to  the  rpc  n  this  hellsite  as  a  whole  ,  n  i  adore  n  am  soso  so  thankful  for  our  luvly  lil  friendship  every  time  we  talk  .  u  truly  hav  made  this  icky  year  a  lot  less  icky  !  u  hav  my  whole  heart  !  ♡

♡◞  @musetories  !

                    sarah  !  ♡  u’ve  genuinely  been  one  of  my  best  friends  for  four  years  +  one  month  now  n  like  ?  wowow  wubbzy  ?  that’s  such  a  long  time  !  from  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  to  lit  rally  whatever  tf  we’re  doin  rn  .  u  were  the  first  person  i  ever  rly  shipped  w  on  this  hellsite  ,  even  tho  i  was  a  whole  babie  n  my  writing  was  godforsaken  at  the  time  .  n  now  we  lit  rally  hav  so  many  ships  up  our  sleeves  that  i  can’t  even  name  them  all  ,  but  i  luv  each  n  every  one  of  them  soso  so  much  ?  sum  of  them  are  so  iconic  that  they’re  jus’  eternal  now  (  we’re  rly  ALWAYS  on  our  eli  &  zazzy  bullshit  )  n  i  kind  of  adore  that  for  us  ?  we’ve  spent  so  many  our  jus’  stayin  up  into  the  night  /  morning  writing  novels  in  my  dms  ,  n  those  are  genuinely  sum  of  my  fondest  rp  memories  ?  we  don’t  rly  talk  quite  as  much  anymore  ,  but  that’s  okay  n  it  happens  !  we’ve  had  sum  ups  n  downs  ,  but  i’m  genuinely  soso  so  thankful  for  ur  friendship  these  last  four  years  n  here’s  to  four  more  heh  !  n  also  u  got  my  into  bts  so  i  owe  u  my  lifeKJSHKD  ♡

♡◞  @briingmetolifc  !

                    mozzie  !  ♡  wowow  wubbzy  ,  i  cld  genuinely  write  a  novel  abt  u  ?  we’ve  been  friends  for  practically  four  years  now  ,  too  ,  n  to  think  it  all  started  w  our  one  lil  ship  in  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  !  i  can  actually  n  genuinely  jus  talk  to  u  abt  anything  ?  whether  it  be  our  ships  ,  a  random  plot  i  wanna  write  ,  the  political  state  of  our  country  ,  how  fucked  ap  classes  are  ,  mister  jungoo  himself  ,  whatever  issues  i’m  having  w  sumone  that  i  need  to  get  off  my  chest  ---  there’s  literally  no  limit  or  bounds  to  what  we  can  talk  to  n  it’s  so  nice  ?  like  .  i  genuinely  trust  u  so  much  ?  u’ve  always  jus  kinda  been  That  Person  who  i  know  i  can  trust  w  anything  ,  who  i  never  felt  wld  judge  me  ?  like  i  can  jus  tell  u  anythin  ,  i  trust  u  so  much  .  ur  genuinely  one  of  my  best  friends  ,  even  when  ur  tryin  to  fight  my  babie  or  we’re  both  bein’  bratty  n  silent  treatmenting  each  other  or  ur  bein  a  stubborn  lil  babie  n  won’t  let  me  do  ur  theme  for  u  even  tho  !!!  i  luv  doing  ur  themes  !  but  it’s  okay  bc  u  hav  my  heart  ,  n  i  genuinely  ???  wld  be  such  a  different  person  w/o  u  in  my  life  for  the  past  four  years  i’m  sure  ?  n  also  ur  such  an  amazing  writer  ,  ur  muses  are  so  unique  n  ur  writing  is  so  fluid  n  ???  god  !!!  everythin  abt  u  is  smth  that  i  adore  .  pleathe  come  to  california  n  be  my  first  kissie  . . .  i  luv  u  !  ♡

♡◞  @heartvfire​  !

                    kacchan  !  ♡  oh  my  god  ???  where  in  the  world  do  i  even  BEGIN  ???  ur  genuinely  one  of  the  most  important  ppl  in  my  life  .  i  met  u  first  when  i  was  a  literal  fckin  babie  in  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  a  whole  four  years  ago  now  ,  n  like  .  we  didn’t  talk  a  ton  at  first  ,  but  u  were  never  weird  or  condescending  bc  i  was  young  ?  like  ,  we  eventually  did  start  talking  n  i’m  soso  like  ???  happy  that  we  got  close  ?  like  .  since  day  one  ,  i’ve  looked  up  to  ur  writing  n  u  as  a  person  ?  ur  characters  were  always  so  insanely  creative  and  unique  and  ur  writing  was  so  fluid  n  beautiful  n  just  ?  u  were  literal  goals  to  lil  14yr  old  kookoo  .  n  even  now  ,  whenever  i  do  a  reply  to  u  ,  i  will  literally  write  n  rewrite  it  five  times  over  before  posting  it  bc  i  want  to  make  sure  it’s  as  good  as  urs  is  !  like  !!!  god  ur  so  talented  !  n  like  .  especially  as  of  late  ,  we’ve  jus  gotten  super  close  ?  n  like  .  i’m  genuinely  so  happy  abt  it  ???  our  friendship  is  genuinely  a  WHOLE  blessing  in  my  life  ,  like  .  ik  i  can  talk  to  u  abt  anything  n  u  can  talk  to  me  abt  anything  n  we’ll  meet  eachother  w  the  same  amount  of  enthusiasm  ?  we  can  vent  to  each  other  n  completely  understand  n  empathise  n  talk  things  out  so  we  feel  better  n  it’s  jus  ???  we  jus’  get  each  other  ??  so  nice  .  thank  u  for  listening  to  me  when  i’m  anxious  or  sad  ,  n  for  not  thinkin  ill  of  me  when  i’m  bein  a  brat  ,  even  when  it’s  for  silly  reasons  ,  n  for  listenin  to  n  not  judging  me  when  i  talk  abt  jungoo  n  bts  ,  even  tho  i  talk  to  them  a  lot  n  ik  i  can  be  a  bit  much  sumtimes  .  like  ,  genuinely  ?  i’m  abt  to  start  crying  rn  ,  i’m  so  thankful  for  u  .  u’ve  helped  shape  me  so  much  as  a  person  .  helped  me  grow  as  a  writer  .  i  met  u  at  one  of  the  worst  n  most  important  ages  of  my  life  n  u’ve  impacted  my  life  such  an  insane  amount  ???  u’ve  always  been  the  first  person  to  talk  to  n  comfort  me  when  things  go  to  shit  n  i  truly  cannot  express  how  much  that  has  always  meant  to  me  .  i  genuinely  think  i  wld  be  a  bit  of  a  different  person  n  not  as  confident  in  my  writing  if  i  didn’t  hav  u  to  look  up  to  for  these  past  four  years  .  i  trust  u  so  much  n  i  luv  u  soso  so  much  !  n  i  am  going  to  reply  to  the  dm  u  sent  me  properly  ,  i  jus  need  2  formulate  my  thoughts  properly  first  ,  so  pleathe  hav  this  for  now  !  u  literally  hav  my  whole  HEART  !!!  ♡

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

[argentumtonitrua]

Normal brain: do your goddamn drafts Goblin brain: remake your PSD and maybe change your formatting too while at it

[kezibun]

Midnight tears

This is no. 2 of my self shipping comfort/coping fics. 

This one is worse than the last, it's more personal and more emotional. The next will be a little more of a fluffy pick me up then a lets cope with a big problem like this and the last...

Before you read I'd like to let you know I'm not posting this for attention or to get your sympathy or comfort, because this was a while ago, on a really bad day of mine, I'm fine right now and this was my comfort so no need to feel like you need to convince me that what I say in this fic is a load of rubbish, I already know, it was just wild talk or well i guess wild thoughts since I never spoke it. I have taken out some of those thoughts I originally had down because they're a little too personal and I ramble on about stuff and probably it wouldn't of made any sense to you guys.

The reason I'm posting this is because I put a lot of effort into it, even if I've just had to spend ages editing this mess, I did write it when I was a mess after all. You see I don't usually get to express my true feelings because irl I'm little miss happy go lucky, and until this year rolled around that was mostly true inside and out, but because of others telling me to grow up and get my head out of the clouds the harshness of this year really hit me, and it's probably been the hardest year of my life even without that. Yet again that means my fam don't know about this, and apparently I'm really good at crying quietly.

I just need you to know I'm good, don't worry just enjoy this fic, maybe go ahead and forget the real life influence and think of it as fiction, please…. 

~•~•~•~•~•~ ^.^ ~•~•~•~•~•~

Red stares at the ceiling as he restlessly lays on his bed, a nagging anxious feeling weighs his soul down for no apparent reason as he wonders how Kezi is doing. He's not going to be getting any sleep this way, he needs to go visit his favourite little teddy bear. He always seems to sleep better with her in his arms, so with a little smile he teleports right in front of her door, it creaked as he slowly pushes it open. 

"Hey, Sweetheart? you awake?" He whispers into the darkness of her room.

He gets no reply, the only sound in the room seems to be the buzz of headphones playing loud music... upon listening closer though he hears something else… could it be... crying? 

In an instance he is beside her bed, he finds a cocoon of blankets, that's where the sound of soft sobs is coming from. Worry engulfs his soul, what does he do now? What approach can he use to get her to come out without completely freaking out. He looks around the room finding her phone beside the bed it's headphone wire trailing to the sobbing duvet cocoon. He gets an idea and taps the pause icon on her phone and waits. 

After a moment of silence she emerges from her blankets reaching for the phone. Her teary eyes go wide as they lock with those of the skeleton looming over her bed. 

"R-red?" She sniffs siting up, attempting to rub her tears away. "What…? What are y-you doing here?" She takes her headphones out.

"No, that's what I need t' ask ya." He holds her cheek wiping the tears that run down her face. 

"W-what….. do … do you mean? This… this is my room?" She squeaks through tears.

"Yeah, n'why the flaming hell are ya here, in yer bed? in tears? When I'm just down that damn hall?" 

The look that she had on her face as she turned away teary eyed, stung his soul so badly it could've shattered right there and then.  

He crawls into bed next to her. "Come 'ere." He sighs, pulling her close. "Start talkin', tell me what's wrong." 

"I...I-I. . . .I  c-can't . . ." 

"Sure ya can, I'm ere to listen to whatever's troublin' ya, no matter how big or small."

"I-i…. I don't… know how?" She sobs into his t-shirt. 

"Hey, it don't have ta make any sense, just let it all out." He strokes her head in a soothing manner occasionally running his fingers through her hair.

"O.. ok I-I… I'll… I'll try….. It's well...w-well, I've…  just been… been so… s-so stressed." She cries and whines about anything and everything that's troubling her soul, she goes through the whole long list of worries, the big and the small. "I can't do anything right, I'm such a failure… it…it's been such a hard year, it went so fast, and I didn't do anything I planned and. . . And… and I. . . I-I lost…. I lost … so... so much!!" 

He waits a moment to make sure she's finished and to let her tears calm down. "Yeah, It's been so tough on ya but yer so strong, I'm so proud of ya. ya've been through a lot and ya have made it, it's soon to be a new year and a new life and all this can be behind ya." 

"I know… b-but its… it's not fair … And.  . . I-I can't … take... it ... any...more." 

"Hey, it's ok… it's a lot to take I get it, so how about we talk a little about some of that good stuff ya have?" 

"W-well…. I-I...I have you! And I love you soo so much, and I can't believe we're getting married. And… and I made so many friends, I love all my tumblr friends, they've given me so many hugs and so much support this year. I think my art has improved? And I got to go to that convention, and my sister bought me some cool stuff. And I bought that tea set and my plushies...... But… but I.... I don't deserve any of it! I…. I don't deserve... I don't deserve YOU!" 

"Kezi," he sighs. "Sweetheart, of course ya deserve it all, every last bit an more, no joke! Yer sweet n kind n beautiful! And with you n me? It's not 'bout deservin anyway 'member. It's bout bein lucky enough to find that connection, the connection we have is so strong and it's what ya do with that then, that's what counts. I can't even imagine if it was about deservin' cuz you'd have some kinda god sent prince and I'd have nothin." He holds her close the thought saddens his soul.

"That's not true! You'd have a Queen or a Princess." 

"Hey, I already got a little princess right here." 

"No Sans! I'm serious you deserve the whole world." 

"Well, what do ya call this I got my arms around right now? Cuz I'd call her my whole world." 

"No I'd call her a lazy, depressed, poop faced waste of space." 

"Hey, are ya insulting me? ya got a problem with my tastebuds?"

"What?" She looks at him confused. "No, where did that come from. You have great taste?" 

"Well, yer my favourite flavour so," He steals a quick kiss. "Insulting my favourite li'l snack, ain't a good idea doll." 

"No... Red! Just No…" she squeaks all flustered and embarrassed.

He chuckles and ruffles her hair. "I think it's bout time we sleep. Are ya feeling better?" 

She lets out a content sigh, "yeah, think I got it all out of my system." she gives his cheek a quick kiss. "And it's all Thanks to you Sans." 

"Word a warnin, ya should be real careful usin that name." 

"Why, do you think it'll confuse everyone? It's just you and me here." 

"Na, but it might just make me eat my li'l snack." 

She sighs, "Good night Sans…" She rolls over turning away.

He follows wrapping his arms around to spoon her. He then goes to bite her neck. 

"Red behave!" 

"Fine…" He huffs. "G'night Sweetheart." 

[apocalypsegay]

Today, all of it: 

slept 3 hours And had a hellish nightmare, ill post Later

woke at 11 am for the first time in uuuhhh literal years

had my prized water bottle (it was literally just a normal water bottle) Removed from my backpack bc no outsider food allowed :/

had a ridiculously overpriced burger for breakfast but it was super yummy? so it was maybe just normally overpriced

wandered w pele looking for symmetra merch but the most any a these losers had was Overwatch Logo Keychains -_-

GOT MY PICTURE TAKEN W ANJALI i showed her nails and she asked me if i was coming for the signing so she could get a pic which was already The Best

went and listened to troy baker’s panel until signing time w anjali began. 

things that happened: they played sarah’s death from TLOU and i was ready to cry and he Also teared up, he explained how hard that scene hit everyone and how now that he has a kid too he wouldn’t be able to do sth like that again, more tlou talk that had me crying again 

then moved on to his Joker and he lit got sidetracked from the question he was asked just talking abt how he wants the joker’s jacket+he thinks the joker’s sexy. he said his favorite joker is mark hamill which Damn Right

he made me aware that the character of batman is almost a hundred years old. what the FUCK.

they talked abt bioshock infinite too (snore) but it was Hilarious that neither he nor elizabeth’s actor knew that they were comstock and anna until they had to record the comstock reveal, so every time they just went a little improv and had booker n elizabeth get flirty the director would VERY quickly n desperately shut that down lmaooooo

he got told he was gonna play the man in the gold mask in death stranding when he was in comic con and kojima and norman reedus came up to him, said hi, and kojima said to norman: here’s your new co-star. kojima out there just hiring actors w/o even sending them an email before telling them they got the job. i can take a giant dump on the man on occasion but dare i say: Iconic.

BACK TO ANJALI

we got signed posters and a selfie!!! we were already tight on time by the time me n pele’s turn came but she was still VERY adamant about getting her picture w my nails!!! (ill post them in a sec) her poor assistant, coordinator??? was like “im gonna get blamed for running late”

anjali was doing her best to speak spanish thru it all too i lover her w my whole heart

WE ALL THEN HUDDLED OUT FOR HER PANEL WHICH WAS SET TO BEGIN 15 MINUTES AFTER SIGNING

got ice cream, it was good

ok so anjali’s panel began and as soon as she started talking abt how sombra’s VA came last year... the lights... WENT OUT............... ajakajksglsdg

we were all like WHAT!!!!! but she was suuuuch a good sport about it, even made jokes abt apagando las luces adjgjdfg AND started answering questions while we waited!

turned out it was a blackout in the Entire area and not just the con so at least it wasn’t some dumbass mistake

BUT!!!! then the panel came back and they took audience questions!! including one by urs truly, as i said :sunglasses: my fave of the replies was abt how much she loves Symmetra’s ult line (the one in hindi) and how it’s her mom’s fave too thats so!! damn cute. she says she knows very little hindi so she has an official coach And her mom helps her too

i have experienced more today than in a whole year im completely dead and it’s GREAT

[okyio-archive]

                                                HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Hey guys !!! I just wanted to do a little smt smt for y’all (I know it’s like just a doodle (of either u/icon/oc) but I wanted to do smt ?? I can’t make cc / have time to make a grand ol edit so aksdjhf) to show how thankful I am for everyone I’ve met + how I appreciate you guys sm for being super supportive + loving. I didn’t have much time cause I’m going on vacation ( still need to pack haha) + I won’t have access to my game/laptop during the holidays so today was the only free time I had asdjfh. If I had more time, I would have drawn all of you guys buT know that i love each and every one of you because you have made a positive impact in my life and I’m super grateful to have y’all. You matter so much to me and I wish I could give everyone a good ol hug!!! ily + please take care !!

But here’s some ol cheesy ass stuff below (drawings are from l -> r):

@grapfruit :: hONESTLY i dont even need to say anything cause you know how much i love you okay?!?! idk why you stuck w/ me for so long like i’m not even that good of a friend?? like ur super social butterfly + im like a slow fucker at replying but u still stuck w/ me umMM?? legit the v first time u msged me about being from HK i legit fangirled b/c i loved ur sims + style sm and you’re one of the v first frds on here that i really clicked?? like it’s rare for me (even IRL) for me to find ppl im fine w/ but ilysm and i love how we’re super chill tgt + have v similar interests (i mEAN food is #1 priority lets be honest) but I only wish you the best w/ everything in life + i legit care about u sm that i practically adopted u as my sister ok yeah hopefully i can find time to meet up w/ u buT for now ily than ks

@ridgeport :: !!!! margarITA IS2G you’re the best at everything: cc making, story telling, editing okAY you’re the perfect package + i want to thank you for taking the time in doing this + being such a huge part of the community??? i legit can’t imagine this community w/o u?? so thank you for being here + blessing us every day. i hOPE you have a great life cause you deserve everything ok ilysm please have a safe holiday !!!

@chocolat-souffle :: okAY I LOVE HOW WE CLICK SM + we can rant about shit + be open about it + we relate to each other sm?? like our opinions, fashion sense, life in general, food etc?? i’m so thankful that we met on here cause it feels like we would be vvvv good frds if we met irl :’+) ilysm and thNANK YOU again for being so patient w/ me + my slow replies i hope you’re having fun on vacay !!! ilysm okAY

@catplot :: !!!!!! yES U SEE THAT PIXEL THING ON THE CORNER, IT’S OUR FAVOURITE THING AHAHAH bUT I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WE MAGICALLY FOUND EACH OTHER I S2G IT’S FAITH !!! yOURE 100X BETTER ARTIST THAN ME oKAY and I’m wishing the best okA i hope work isn’t too stressful + youre spending a gol ol jolly time w/ ur loved ones ilysm an d i hope we  can continue drawing di!Ck$ tgt for a v long time ily

@meisiu :: i hope you’re doing well w/ ur finals :’+) !! i can’t believe we have sm in common (animal crossing, bujo, sims, canto culture????) like i legit would lOVE to spend more time getting to know you but i just want to rave bout how sweet you are + your builds always amazes me?? i love them sm + once your finals are done, i hope you’ll spend a good time w/ ur loved ones :’+) !! tysm for posting your content everyday !! ily

@whiite-tea :: !!! you’ve been my legit #1 cheerleader since like the beginning. legit you msg me on the daily to make sure + check up if im okay + i’m really thankful for that??! you’re always here supporting me + others + put others first before yourself adsfj yoURE TOO KIND LOVE OKAY?1 remember youre loved + i hope school’s not too stressful :+( !! ilysm !!

@1tens :: yEAH OKAY JES LIKE ILY?? I WANT TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER BUT I KNOW WE’LL BE COOL FRIENDS CAUSE UR SO SWEET + I LOVE UR STYLE SM ??! LIKE U MAKE THE CUTESTS SIMS EVER + UR STYLE + EDITS ARE TO DIE FOR!!!! and you take the time out of your day to comment on like everyone’s post + you’re adorbs okay? im only wishing you the best + tysm for supporting love ilYSM :’+)))

@twikkii :: i drew nissi if you’re okay w/ that :’+) !! but i s2g you’re the cutest ever and my heart is always thinking about you okay?! you make the cutest edits + gameplay pics ever i legit get so excited whenever you post. you’re so sweet + kinda to others & i’m always wishing that you’re doing okay !! ilysm + i’m so thankful i met you- you really taught me things + i appreciate you sm kjadhf have a good holiday love :’+)

@dnasz :: okay honestly everything you post is so cute + aesthetically pleasing?! your builds are amazing (like wanna teach me lOL??! i legit jaw dropped when u post ur most recent ones) + you’re super sweet + kind to others. everyday i look forward in seeing you post cause i know it’ll be amazing :’+) i hope you’ll have a great holiday love !!! 

@simsao :: the fact that you match colours so well is inspiring. I’ve always struggled w/ colours + your posts are so unique that it has challenged me to step from my comfort zone + try to explore + play around w/ it more?! so thank you sm for posting + i love your aliens uGH!! your edits are super unique like idk how else to describe them but i love them sm. + your self sim ones atm are my fav omg we legit have sm in common akjsdhf bUT thank you sm for posting + i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

@smubuh :: ABBY!!! okAY i’ve raved about you before but you’re such a sweetheart and a person I really do aspire. You’re kind, hardworking and have a beautiful mind + soul. I rarely look up to anyone but I can safely say you’re one of them !! Thank you for bringing so much to the community - you’ve taught us so much (esp when you have a super busy schedule). I hope you have a great holiday w/ your loved ones + your family :”+) ily !!!

@4fig :: !! i hope you’re doing well w/ ur exams love !! i know i’ve told you so many times but you’re one of the few reasons why i joined this community - your edits are legit my aesthetic ?! every time you post i’m always in aw because you create the most beautiful sims + your editing style is one of my favs. i honestly would love to get to know you better once you’re done w/ everything but you’re really kind + sweet + i only wish you the very best :’+) have a great holiday love !!

@faeflowr :: yeah your edits are my fav okYA?! scratch that EVERYTHING you post is beautiful :’+) your sims, gameplay, edits - they’re all amazing + I love them sm. bUT most importantly you’re so pretty iRl omg?! if i had to choose who’s my fav simblr posts are itll be you cause i love everything you do + your aesthetic is legit exactly what i love aksjdhf ily !! i hope you have a great holiday :+)

@ughplumb :: yEAH ILL FOREVER CALL U UNFPLUMB CAUSE YOU’RE FKING BEAUTIUL I SWEAR U CAN BE A MODEL OK idk why you aren’t like ?? i love how you make ur sims cause i can never make good sims like yours - they’re all beautiful just like you ;’+) aND im excited for you to post but take your time okay ?!? tysm for being here + ily !!! i hope you have a great holiday !!

@mooon-sims :: yeah who do i go to when i need a lookbook?? your styles the best ? i love your new editing style + im so glad youre still here :’+) i know it gets tough esp w/ collage apps + school but im so proud of you okay?1 you’re a strong fighter + im glad you still pull through in posting !!! ily + remember to keep doing you okay?! have a great holiday love :’+)

@blarffy :: !!! okAY YEAH EVERYTHING YOU DO IS PERFECTION AND LIKE EVERY1 CAN BACK ME UP HECK U HAVE LIKE 128736 SPOUCES LINING UP OUTSIDE THE CHAPEL RN bUT thank you sm for posting ?! i know we dont talk that often but youre super sweet (maybe it’s a canadian thing?!? LOOL jokES) but i would love to get to know you better cause youre fking bomb?! thank you for blessing us w/ ur content + i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

@pink-tea :: okAY I MISS YOU AND YOUR POSTS !!! i swear youre so sweet + i love your aesthetic so much ajksdhf buT youre still here always supporting me despite having a super busy life so i thank you for that !! i’m always here supporting you + waiting till you post cause i miss them sm :’+((( i hope youre doing well regardless + remember i always love u !! have a great holiday love!!

@liltofu :: !!! i love lov elove your aesthetic + sims + style so much?! every time you post i get really excited cause you never disappoint? i’m always so jealous of your editing style cause it’s legit my fav thing ever alskdfj + i use like 99% of your recolours cause u pick out the best things to recolour?! bUT i hope youre doing well !! ily + have a great holiday love :’+)

@dust-bubbles :: awh man you’re always here spreading love + i swear youre my lil sunshine :’+) thank you for taking the time out of your day for sendin me love?! like i always smile when you do + i appreciate your unconditional support sm !! i’m wishing you the very best in life cause you deserve it ?! ily + i hope you have a wonderful holiday :’+) 

@nolan-sims :: i just want to say thank you so much for the ongoing love + support you give + show to the community. not only are you super sweet + caring but you take the time out of your day in making cc for us?! so thank you for being part of this community - i really appreciate you sm + i only wish good things happen to you + everyone around you :’+) ily + i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones !!

@ayoshi :: okAY you’re the sweetest little bean ever + your fashion sense is amazing okay ?! i have ALL your cc downloaded so thank you sm for being part of this community + blessing us w/ ur bomb ass cc + edits :’+) i appreciate sm the time + dedication you take out of your day to make stuff for us !! im only wishing you good things + i hope you’ll have a great holiday !!

@obi-uhie :: i WISH I COULD ROCK YOUR CONFIDENCE OKAY ?! you legit inspire me sm + i love how unique your sims are okAY?! keep doing you + i love everything you do :’+) i hope youre having a great holiday love !!

@suspiciouslypinklady :: !! youre so sweet + i love your confidence?! i’m super thankful for the love + support you always give whenever things get tough + i appreciate it sm. it makes things a lot easier + you’re seriously such an angel. i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones b/c u deserve the v best !!

@viiavi :: okay i just want to say thank you sm for the love + support you give whenever shit hits the fan LOL your kind words + msgs really help me a lot whenver things aren’t the best so I thank you for that. thank you for being so kind, thoughtful + caring to everyone in this community :’+) i really appreciate that sm + i hope you keep doing that !! i hope you have a great holiday !!

@dicoatl :: i swear youre always so kind to others ?! im so sorry you’ve been getting so much negativity these days but i know you’re a super strong person who’s doing their very best + im super proud of you okay!! ive been loving your new edits recently + it really shows youre experimenting a lot + it looks amazing :’+) so thank you for being here okay? have a great holiday !!!

@oakglow :: catherine !! your editing + story telling is amazing?! i mean i can’t write for shit LOL but i love it whenver your post esp knowing you’re busy w/ life. so thank you for that :’+) i hope you + your loved ones a great holiday !! 

@simmerjade :: jADE I MISS YOU !!! I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL !! you’re one of the v first friends i made here in this community + ik youre super busy rn w/ life but im so glad we’ve met ?! i hope life’s treating you v well + youre not too stressed out from school - i know you can do it :’+) im always here supporting you whatever you do + remember ilysm !!! have a great holiday love !!

@waffle-pxels :: i know we dont talk that often but the times we do youre so kind ?! tysm for being here + supporting me :’+) i really appreciate u sm + i hope youre doing well !! have a great holiday love !!

@simharaa :: i MISS YOU SM OKAY aND I S2G I HOPE YOURE OKAY !! again my heart goes out to you + your family but please take care okay?! you’ve been here since day 1 + i’m super glad we’ve met cause the times we’ve talked i truely treasured sm :’+) i’m loving your edits + im so glad youre back posting again !! i hope you + ur fam a speedy recovery + remember ily !! youre a strong bean !!

@simsluname :: lunA!!! your gifs are amazing + i love how we grew tgt in this community ?? i remember we both started off together + been supporting each other since the v beginning when we joined this community :’+) thank you for being here + blessing us w/ ur gameplay pics + teaching us how to gif ?? like w/o you i wouldn’t have learned ajksdfh so thank you for that & ilysm you’re so cute !!! have a great holiday love !!

@alternacorn-sims :: you’ve been a long time supporter and i’m super thankful for you?! you’re always here liking my stuff + sending positive vibes + love :’+) i hope youre doing well !! please keep doing you + remember that i appreciate you sm :’+) tysm for being here + i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones!!

@expressgo :: thank you for being so patient w/ me ?!! i’m a super slow replier but we manage to be able to talk + i’m so glad we do?! thank you for reaching out to me at the beginning + i really enjoy talking to you:’+) youre super sweet + we can talk about like everything ?? your cats are adobs + i wish you the best + happy holidays :’+) ily !!

@hazelios :: i seriously have all your cc downloaded in my folder + i appreciate it sm whenever you post content + cc for the community :’+) so thank you for that !! you’re always super kind + sweet whenever we talk and i only wish you the very best !! ily + i hope you have a great holiday !!

@simsthatsparkle :: !!! you’ve been like one of my og supporters for a v long time and i’m super thankful for you being here?! i can’t imagine the love + support i get + idk how else to express my appreciation asjkdfh i only hope you the best + ily !! i hope you have a wonderful holiday love :’+)

@femmesim :: okay you’re a hUGE inspiration to everyone in this community + i’m so thankful that youre here?! your edits + story telling is breath taking + it hits me all the time when you post ?! so thank you sm for creating bomb ass content + telling stories that aren’t often told. please keep doing you!!! i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

[sunnybimbo]

get to know the author

got tagged by mfin @grassepi like 10 days ago to do this!!!!!! /dab/

long ass post under the cut

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i explain this so often man its a trip. ‘jam’ came from simlish in the sims 3 because of that one voice line that’s like ‘jambabedo?’. i had changed my name to that on skype but when i was VCing with @namerine she could only see ‘jam’ and it kinda just stuck. speaking of: the ‘dingus’ part also came from her so literally this name is all because of her and i love her *fingerguns*

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

by FAR my most popular fic is my collection of sickfics: In Sickness and Health

the only thing that it got beat in was comments from Close to the Heart, but that’s mostly just because it had so many mfin chapters

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

b a b y y o s h i

i literally cant remember how i found this picture or why i chose it as my icon but its my Brand now. yoshi jamthedingus is me

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i literally have so many. there’s @space-peachx, @bears-again, @narwhalsarefalling, @ravenssama, and @miishiiwrites (for some reason it wasnt letting me tag ur main asldhasd) plus a SHIT ton of anon commentors who i love just as dearly!!! i have a lot more but these are the most common commenters and i love them sm i could literally die.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

there are like three fics like that and ofc im gonna list them all

hands down the fic i’ve reread the MOST in the shortest period of time is Sunset in Reverse by @demenior (who i cannot tag for some reason but i hope they know that i love their fic dearly)

there’s this i n c r e d i b l e sickfic by @bosstoaster that i just adore called Drown Out Your Mind that just breaks my heart all types of ways

and there’s this OTHER fic that also fucks me up called strength of the small by @nowweareunstoppable in which pidge is bad ass and also gets fucked up and i literally rec it to all my friends i love it so much

(also a special shoutout to been @velkynkarma‘s Whisper in the Dark. whenever i have the need for a good creepin’ out i LOVE to revisit this one because like... just the description of the Final Boss (tm) alone is enough to give me the willies)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

oof

i have 449 bookmarks from like atleast 10 different fandoms, and about 411 fics i’m subscribed to, give or take a couple because Math. most of them are completed though, but i don’t go through and take them off because i’m a lazy hoe 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

well i just looked up my ao3 and it says i have the most in ‘Alternate Universe - Video Game World’ asjdhsaldhsja aka my mmo au. but technically i think the au i write the most is Modern bc i’m but a simple farmer with a limited mindscape

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

i have 22 user subscriptions vs 199 work subscriptions + 383 bookmarks in total. nice nice nice

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

probably something with a more serious tone (compared to the fluffy wuffy fics i write) like, for example, fatphobia, suicide, and literally just conflict in general. i always feel like im trivializing all of it no matter how hard i try so i just... Give Up because i dont want the backlash ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i really want to get better at writing conflicts, as stated above lajhdlsadhls. but also i want to be better at planning out stories because i usually give up near the 3/4ths point of literally every multi-chaptered thing i’ve written

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

definitely rarepairs. voltron is like the biggest fandom i’ve ever been in and my biggest ships are all hunk ships, and all of those are rarepairs OTL

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

35!

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

ignoring the fics i’ve completed and posted on ao3, i have about 52. including the above equals 87!!! m a t h

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i try to write them down but if i write down the thingy i really want to focus on in the fic then i won’t want to write it anymore because it’s out of my head. OTL its a complicated process.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

literally never in my life. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

definitely tumblr. i was in the dragon age fandom and there was this fic called The Little Kadan which had fem!inquisitor/iron bull + a baby so like i was all over that asap. i’m too shy to tag the author but u can find them on tumblr at sickly-writes ,,,,,,

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

nah not at all. i’m pretty Niche

(i.e. if you love shunk and/or heith + cuddling, i’m your gal. but anything else is pretty rare OTL)

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

not in the SLIGHTEST. i call them all babes in my head bc i love them tho

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

i don’t know this @fenri personally but i love their writing so much. i admire their style a WHOLE TON and i think i may have sort of modeled my own after theirs? 

like i’m just thinking about it now but it’s definitely after i reread their fic (*ahem ahem* Like Crystal Guts) for about the fifth time that i started my whole ‘prose-y’ writing, which is very very recent aldjhsal

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

be confident in ur writing! if someone says they don’t like it, your work just isnt for them. just because one single person doesn’t like it doesn’t mean its bad!

r e r e a d what you wrote! i use fromtexttospeech.com to catch like... sentence structure/grammatical errors when my eyes are too tired and i find it helps a lot!

if you find a story you like, try figuring out w h y you like it so much. characterization? the way they describe things? because they use sentence structure you haven’t seen before? and then use that new knowledge to try to make your own writing style your favorite *fingerguns* 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i only started plotting fics since last november, which was when i participated in my first nanowrimo. i don’t plot for every single story, but if i’m lost or i want to expand a little, i slap down a bunch of ideas in an empty google doc and go from there! 

generally by then i’ve already written atleast a little bit, though.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

i can’t even remember what it says exactly now since i deleted the fic after, but someone said my characterization was bad in a super old inuyasha fic. little like... 12 year old me was so sad ;w; 

i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a bad comment after that, though? which is NICE

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

DEFINITELY any action scene. i can’t make them long or drawn out or else i’ll just be struggling and sweating and generally craving death. i think i just need practice but o o o o f

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i have a few hot n spicy prompts i need to finish that i probably won’t get to until next year salhdjsa

plus a few christmas presents! 

and also my pirate au, Wander, which only has maybe 2 chapters left before its complete!

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

*sweats loudly*

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not in the slightest. generally, if i’m in a writing sprint or something, i’ll try to get over a 1000 for whatever it is, but that’s for the total and not for the session. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

definitely! even though i’m still shy, im a lot more open to constructive criticism (if it doesn’t come after my soul ;w;). I’m also getting better at being more descriptive, which is something i’ve always wanted! 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i have two. don’t make me choose

the first is technically cheating because it’s part of a series, and the series is my favorite BUT I DIGRESS. The Witch and the Mage (which is... one of my less imaginative names) is an MMO AU in which shiro and hunk are in love and also i have a vague plot outlined somewhere in my drive that’s pretty wild if i do say so myself. i may never write it but its there and its my favorite and i love the imagery i used in it.

the SECOND is a heith cuddle fic, because that’s basically my brand as a writer. it’s called home and i wrote it when i was very tired and couldn’t get to sleep. i may have been craving human contact? who knows in this economy. even though i see a number of things i wish i could fix about it, it’s just very self-indulgent in more than one way and its very dear to my heart. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

most of the fics i wrote earlier on are pretty bad imo, but i think the ones i hate the most are part of my You Are Beautiful series. it’s grossly out of character (mostly in keith’s case) but it was the first thing i’d written in about four years and i was so proud of it. so it has to stay up for posterity, tbh.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

i really hope to still be writing by then. maybe with my own personal book in its planning stages atleast???  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gotta be optimistic!!

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

dialogue? also describing rooms. i love just... randomly popping out something that describes the placement of a couch in relation to a door. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

i always always always get distracted when i’m trying to write. if i’m in the zone, someone in my family is definitely gonna try to get my attention. it’s sort of become habit for me to just interrupt myself first so that i won’t lose whatever train of thought i had LMAO

33. Why do you write?

i like the way my words sound when i string them together in the right (write... *badum ts*) way. it makes me Feel Good (tm). 

also i love giving characters (that mean something to me) attention, because it’s like i’m giving MYSELF attention. a two-for-one!

Tagging:

@sleepyhunk, @narwhalsarefalling, @space-peachx, @sammythemattressthief, @bears-again, @kurosakiami01, @maternalcube, @ace-pidge, @darlingmuses

+  if anyone i tagged earlier would like to, i would literally be honored if you would do this! but no pressure, ever <3

[leonbastralle]

Flood Of Replies

hey guys! it’s that time of the month again where i feel rly crappy abt all the things so thank you for supporting me and sorry i always make it seem like you’re not enough ♥

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

Shine........ ur gonna hurt urself sleeping with ur glasses like that...... my son

sbfkhabjsfnkjabsnfkajbfaknjfbankfjasd i cRY YOURE RIGHT I FEEL TERRIBLE

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Shine…it’s been a while, hasn’t it? What do you say? S: We boink?...”

Im so proud of these kids

same, how did this happen again

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Shine…it’s been a while, hasn’t it? What do you say? S: We boink?...”

ANYWAY hows your boink life

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “I can’t believe he’s disposing of his great grandson (and his lover)”

U forgot to include the real trash aka tunglr user pixeldemographics aka catii aka me

ur not getting to shame urself in my comment EVER ur not there ur in the rare elements collection in the labs basement

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “S: Hey, Dadgraab, are you okay? G: Yeah, yeah…I guess I just realised...”

Me, banging my knife on the table: DAD NIGHT dad NIGHT DAD NIGHT

pUT THE KNIFE AWAY THEYRE GETTING ONE

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “again? :/”

DADGRAAB MUST B PROTECTED

idk whats wrong man ;_; i think hes having a hard time knowing ppl talk abt his son and his ex sons dicks all the time

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

Pls tell me the douchebag coworker wont go to space with them

hE WONT NOBODY FROM THIS LAB WILL THEY ALL SUCC

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

What a beautiful girl what a beautiful face ❤️

this sounds like a new version of hotel california

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “T: Shine…it’s been a while, hasn’t it? What do you say? S: We boink?...”

#goals

they’re terrible and i love it

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “S: Hey, Dadgraab, are you okay? G: Yeah, yeah…I guess I just realised...”

DAD NIGHT OUT

YESSSS IT’S IN THE QUEUE

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “S: Dadgraab? How about a hug? G: Sure! S: It’s great to work with you,...”

When you get adopted as a dad

he deserves it man ♥

monets-pixels replied to your photoset

👀

hOW RUDE

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Hey Shine, playing with strange fluids again? S: Trellis, this is...”

U sure u dont wanna play with fluids trellis 👀

i cry so much why did i caption this

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “S: Man…I guess I still need some practice…”

Umm Shine I don't think that's the right way to land

it’s Shine’s very own special landing, he’s done it so many times he’s perfected it xD

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “S: Hey, Gulf, guess what? G: What is it, Shine? S: Trellis and I are...”

I too wanna join can i

ajmfbakjsfbnakjfnakjfnaksjfas no you cant id be rly scared

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “S: Hey, Gulf, guess what? G: What is it, Shine? S: Trellis and I are...”

The ANDROMEDA initiative sjsjjqjaqh

nO PLEASE THIS IS V HARMLESS ACTUALLY NOBODY DIES

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “S: Dadgraab? How about a hug? G: Sure! S: It’s great to work with you,...”

.................... i cant mcfucking believe this im crying pls be his son shine let him be happy

;______________; thANK YOU THIS IS YOUR DOING

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “S: Man…I guess I still need some practice…”

HOLY SHIT GIVE HIM THE LANDING THING IM GONNA CRY MY BOOOY IS ENDANGERED

hE HAS IT HE JUST LIKES RISKY MANEUVERS SO HE KEEPS BREAKING STUFF OR GETTING ATTACKED

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “S: Man…I guess I still need some practice…”

Shine, do not put yourself in danger like that.

he can’t help it...

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “S: Dadgraab? How about a hug? G: Sure! S: It’s great to work with you,...”

;__________________________________________________________________________;

I KNOW

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “S: Hey, Gulf, guess what? G: What is it, Shine? S: Trellis and I are...”

You be lazy all you want to, baby girl! We get it. Kinda.

ajshmbfasjkfbaksjfnaks,fsd i guess xD they shouldn’t even be in focus any more

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

I like he's the odd one out, with his green jacket/thing. It's so much better than blue.

it’s great but I’m too lazy to edit it after every promotion so he keeps switching xD talk about inconsistency! but true

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: My father-in-law senses are tingling.”

The only npc with good clothes flame never ceases to amaze me :’)

must i remind u of the glasses/turban/jewelry incident

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “What a day! A clown-president, Salim’s best maid dress friend and a...”

Im still crying abt clown mar how did his wife let him go like that

does she even know shes probably at work or peeing for 2 hrs

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

S c i e n c e!!!!!

i kn O W

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

Trellis looks like she's glowing.

that’s because she is! it’s the tea you drink at these festivals.

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

I lov how theyre so happy but also......... is that penny pizzaz i see 👀

it iS YOUR CHILD ALSO BAAKO STILL

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “What a day! A clown-president, Salim’s best maid dress friend and a...”

A clown is not shirtless.

I know, I know. I wasn’t controlling him XD

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “T: Dadgraab? Does your wife know you’re out wearing this???”

I just like the vanilla's face. 'Ahh yes, the crazy coloured folk are out again. Why aren't I that glorious?' *All the sad faces*

basically, the vanillas are just rly discouraged at this point, i feel them

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “T: My father-in-law senses are tingling.”

Not that I'm complaining, as he is a very pretty man. Also, I'm sorry if I've asked about this before, most of the time, I forget.

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “T: My father-in-law senses are tingling.”

Is Flame forever young, because he should be an old man by now.

he can’t ever be an old man it’s impossible, it’s FLAME

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “I literally just sent Trellis to investigate because I saw this...”

Holy sweet days. That looks like a bin on his head. A* glasses though.

he’s wearing a me!

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “I literally just sent Trellis to investigate because I saw this...”

Fashion icon

always my baby

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

Pretty Annie takes pretty pictures.

dANG IT WHY SO SMOOTH CHELSEA

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

That iddy biddy man bun. 😊

he wears it so well doesn’t he ;_;

amixofpixels replied to your post “Malmine’s Day Out In Berry World (And More) - Replies”

It does so don't you worry about it.

GOOD GOOD

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “after today I’ll actually gonna stop spamming sims I can’t take credit...”

😍😍😍 ❤❤❤

i know i know i know ♥ blame @pixeldemographics‘ sim making skills!

amixofpixels replied to your post “I’ve been challenging myself to draw every day for a week and it’s...”

AND THAT CIRCLE, DOT, & 5 STRANDS OF HAIR ARE PERFECT!

skj,fnajnfaksjfnaksjfnasdskdj,fbaks

amixofpixels replied to your post “I heard you wanted to see a weirdo (not)”

And Annie's laptop stop dying so hard, she can't get a new one yet so keep it together man.

the thing is i could but I’m scared of being broke

amixofpixels replied to your post “I heard you wanted to see a weirdo (not)”

Look at that adorable face. <3

;_; aAAAAA

amixofpixels replied to your post “I’ve been challenging myself to draw every day for a week and it’s...”

Zoey, Caleb & Button, Argus & Summer, and my boys. I think that's them all.

amixofpixels replied to your post “I’ve been challenging myself to draw every day for a week and it’s...”

This is going from someone who has had 4 stick figure art works from you.

amixofpixels replied to your post “I’ve been challenging myself to draw every day for a week and it’s...”

DID YOU JUST CALL THEM SAD?!?! THEY ARE AMAZING, AND SO ARE YOU!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KAJSBFNKAJSNFKJASBFNAKJSFNAKS S T O P BUT ALSO DON’T BUT PLEASE STOP ;_; it’s true! those must be all up to this point. But feel free to request more any time!

socialbunnies replied to your post “I’ve been challenging myself to draw every day for a week and it’s...”

they aren't sad sticks! they're adorable!

j,sfnkajsfnkajsbfnkajsfasd thank you ;_; suppose they’re as good as they’ll get when my only tool is a mouse xD

limericksims replied to your photoset

they're so adorable!! 😍

I know right ♥♥ I’m so happy I got to put them in my game!

limericksims replied to your post “I heard you wanted to see a weirdo (not)”

aww, cutie! 😘

i try ;)

limericksims replied to your photoset

bedroom eyes 😏😏 

that’s them in a nutshell man, they’re the most gloriously thirsty children i AM IN LOVE

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “local alien cinnamon roll still a cinnamon roll”

CINNAMON ROLL!!!

YESSS A CINNAMON ROLL SAW THE CINNAMON ROLL

ladyanyarose replied to your post “It’s Time For Replies!”

Lol I like to read things from the beginning XD it was really good.

akjbaksjnfaks,sd thank you ;_; that means a lot! i’m glad you enjoyed it ♥

amixofpixels replied to your post “It’s Time For Replies!”

I like you know, it's makes me feel warn inside.

good, please be warm it’s very cold

amixofpixels replied to your photo “elvensimming: I drew some of @romeo-and-simulet’s cuties. that’s...”

AAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!!!!

i know!!!!

bouquet-of-scissors replied to your post “It’s Time For Replies!”

<i>Trellis</i> may or may not be on the list :3

;) ;) ;)

[4nimenut]

is this an AO3 tag thing

tagged by @aja154ever...!! thank you for the tag aja~

calling my lowkey writer status out though LOL SWEATS

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

sachiyoumi

THIS IS SUCH AN EMBARRASSING REASON BUT

my original writing alias when i was still writing was kimura yumi, named after my dragon nest character after looking up japanese names and their meanings (look 12y/o shao was a huge japanophile shh) before realising there was a real person named kimura youmi (the singer of itsumo nando demo)

and afterwards i took this online test thing that would tell you your name in japanese and i got inoue sachiyo

and then i decided to mash both together and got sachiyoumi / sachiyo yumi and it just stuck ever since LOL 

i wish i had the creativity for a cooler alias though, now thinking back o)-(

plus it coincides with my real name initials ssssso yeah. its hella cool.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

transience

it’s like, my only fic on AO3 HAHAHAHAHA

there used to be an OnS fic up there but i decided to take it down until i have time to get back to it and revise it and post it when it’s more complete, perhaps

(will i ever finish it though)

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

idk it looks p aesthetic LOL i kinda like how i drew akira here//

(please see this post for reference)

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i only have one fanfic that i’ve written after a number of years of not writing / completing a fic soー s w e a t s,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

favourite-wise i love all comments...! it means so much to me that people would go out of their way to enter their name if they’re anonymous, and write a comment about the fic q_q thank you.... even though my writing is really just subpar uuu

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Fox Chimes by Kuranoa / @kurapls

i love reincarnation and youkai tropes so this just perfectly hits the nail on the head KURA I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS FIC BUT MY HEART,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, cries pools of blood

Three Fundamental Truths by @likeshining

STAR SAN MY FKING HEART SHAKES FIST

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

9 subscriptions, 52 bookmarks www

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i’ve only ever written one fic, so....... if anything, it’s canon-divergence LOL

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

2 subs, 18 bookmarks (there’s people that are actually subbed to me wh a t)

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

probably sensitive things, but i think i’d still write it (or draw it out, at least)

as far as i know i don’t think i have anything i’m paaaarticularly afraid of, but if there is now, or in the future, then i think i wouldn’t post it publicly ww

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

everything

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

i don’t have a good basis for judgement, but based on really old fics, i think i’ve been writing popular ships more often...!!

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

one finished LOL

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

about 3 or 4?

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i tend to write on paper if the idea just hits me, and transfer to a google doc afterwards! ///

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

nope. im too noob lol + i hardly write orz

16. How did you discover AO3?

i used to read on fanfiction.net! afterwards there were some writers i followed that mentioned that they were moving to AO3 and i just found out about it afterwards. though i ended up largely lurking because i didn’t have the confidence to write anything decent.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

what

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

i only have one fanfic what are you talking about

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

hi star san

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

if the idea comes to you, just yolo and go for it LOL don’t let your dreams be dreams

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

in the past when i was still writing i tend to figure things out as i go, though that was because i was writing multichapter stories. but this resulted in me being confused over my own plot and i was hesitant to continue writing anymore, along with RL stress and stuff so i eventually dropped writing altogether. though that was... 4-5 years ago?

now i barely write still, but i lean towards monster oneshots now so i tend to plot out and find references for better clarity ^^ though finishing them and posting them is another story altogether LOL

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

not really,,,? but i’ve only ever written one (complete) story to date, and the comments on it have been rather heartwarming (i’m glad it was to your liking...!)

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

i haven’t ventured deep into writing yet, but i think i’m really bad with flashbacks  www

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

chuuya goes through traumatic shit

courtesan!AU

unfinished fics wise that i’m not sure if i will ever touch and continue include something about granblue’s percival and lancelot

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

i... i guess LOL I REALLY JUST WHACK AND YOLO

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

i’m more of an artist so i usually write when i have time to spare ; v ;

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

definitely...!

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

transience

it’s my first (finished) fic after a long while

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

transience (GUYS I ONLY HAVE ONE FIC)

i really dislike how i wrote the opening paragraphs as compared to the rest of the fic to be very honest;; i think i could have written it better....! i’ll work hard and improve if i ever continue writing things 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

writing only to fuel the angst in my art

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

definitely the ending. THE ENDING. 

ITS THAT FEELING OF LIBERATION AFTER xxx AMOUNT OF WORDS OF SUFFERING wheezes

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

everything else aside from the ending the torture sucks im jk im sorry

33. Why do you write?

honestly there’s some things that i find it difficult to portray through my own art, and i lack the stamina to draw comics proper so i turn to writing...! it’s a really fascinating form of contribution to a fandom to be honest x.x)a most of my time has been spent making art so writing feels like a really exotic kind of art to me ;v;

also i think it’s also a way to keep my english intact HAHA

i tag @adargo, @nugget-writes, @memosfromchuuya, @catsbythegreat, and.... i think all the other writers i know have done this already ww,,