#but the thing about youtube is (as far as i know) your subscribers dont see your comments

[lyriumrain]

youtube recommended a video to me that is titled "a goodbye to all my friends", the thumbnail is a close up of an older woman's face.

I was curious, as this was completely out of place amongst my other recommendations. I could guess beforehand what it might be, but watching confirmed that she is incredibly unwell (cancer iirc), and most likely will not be making more videos.

The comments were brimming with people like me, people who had never heard of this channel before (it focused on mandala dot painting tutorials), but people who wanted to pass on their well wishes all the same, people saying they're sad she's dying even though they don't know her.

I looked at the channel, this video had by far the most views, 500k+ when I saw it yesterday. It's kind of morbid, the youtube algorithm had obviously seen the uptick in clicks this video was receiving and therefore was pushing it even more - but the person who made it is dying.

I believe her husband is taking over the channel, and I can't help but think what he feels seeing this. Is this outpouring of sentiment from strangers comforting, or overwhelming? Maybe both.

[raptorladylover6969]

VERY passionate rant under the cut

“The Handler has dino DNA‼️” “The Handler is a robot‼️” “The Handler is a Brooklynn clone‼️” GET OUTTTTTTT GET TF OUTTTTTT I AM SO SICK OF THE SAME. GOD DAMN. DOG SHIT THEORIES. IM TIREDDDD OF IT. ITS THE SAME THING EVERY TIMEEEEEEEE AND I HATEEEEE IT. I WANT NEW THEORIES. ONES THAT ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE. ONES THAT ARENT THE SAME FUCKING THEME ALL OVER AGAIN UGHHHHH.

One thing I hate about Jurassic World youtube channels is when it comes to theorizing abt characters, THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY AND PROPERLY ANALYZE. It’s like they never payed attention in english class 😭 esp when it comes to The Handler, because yes offence, just saying, their “character analysis” videos are absolute shit. I was yapping abt this early with @koi-fish-boy

What I mean is, instead of coming up with new theories, these “theorists” just take already existing theories, slap it into a video, add some other info that is not even considered a character analysis but just info thats RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR FACES. The other worst part is, they never show any evidence to support their theories, they don’t make connections. They just go like “Oh The Handler blah blah creepy lady blah blah whats her deal? Blah oh shes probably part raptor or a clone blah blah blah k like and subscribe” GET OUT- 🗣️🗣️💥💥‼️‼️

I could debunk some of these theories right now even I am feeling THAT petty. “Brooklynn clone?” They don’t have the same facial structure, The Handler is 10x more paler, Brooklynn has a button nose while The Handler’s is straight, and have you taken into consideration that other blue eyed white ppl with freckles exist????? Brooklynn isnt the only white chick that exists 💀 “Dino x human hybrid?” this idea for a plot has been scrapped long ago. And even if she was a dino hybrid, she HAS to retain dino like features, like scales, vertical pupils, dino vocals, sharp teeth. NO, her having big eyes and pale skin DOES NOT = DINOSAUR FEATURES. Theres millions of people with big eyes and who are also sickly pale. “But she doesnt blink!” Yes tf she does I have the timestamps to prove it, she actually blinks A LOT considering the little screentime she has. “Robot??” We see her display humane emotions such as empathy in the final episode (I mean this theory itself has already been scrapped by countless ppl so 😼)

The problem here is that ppl dont reeeeealllllyyyy ANALYZE a character, they just observe the surface, find a couple of things here and there, and call it a day. They don’t use all of their senses when looking into a character, they only document what the naked eye can see. That is NOT what analyzation is about. Character analyzation is about digging DEEPER into the character, putting yourself in their POV, in their shoes, reading their facial expressions, their body language, spending hours playing back the same clips over and over again just to find new info, taking note of the dramatic lighting changes, the ambience, making connections, USING CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS TO UNBOX THE MYSTERYS OF SAID CHARACTER. Cmon guys did we learn nothing from Brooklynn??🤨🤨 like no joke me and @koi-fish-boy spent hours rewatching scenes with The Handler and found a BUNCH OF COOL NEW SHIT THAT NO ONE HASNT EVEN TALKED ABT YET.

People dont also seem to have enough balls to connect neuroscience to their theories, which is strange because incorporating psychology and the human brain, or any kind of science to a character analysis can rlly help with coming up with new theories. Why do you think MatPat’s theories were so good and interesting? It’s because he makes CONNECTIONS. He incorporates math, history, folklore, religion, and science into ALL OF HIS THEORIES. HE PUTS WORK INTO THEM. HE THINKS CRITICALLY.

All theories are valid, even the far-fetched ones, thats the whole point of a theory, its supposed to be crazy, but actually putting in the work to find evidence to support your theory WILL STRENGTHEN IT, and make it 100x more interesting. You can’t just introduce a theory without evidence to back it up, there needs to be at least 1 reason to even consider your theory plausible. Like the clone theory, I’m not entirely against it cuz cloning IS a thing in the JW universe, like that theory makes the most sense cuz its happened before, so why not again? I still think its absolutely crap, but I’ll admit, it makes sense. Why? Cause theres evidence to back it up.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🤗

[khodorkovskaya]

18.08.23

i was invited to follow this two day course mandated by the government and it was pretty cool, i got to meet some new people. and i want to describe a couple of them to you bc some of them are like really weird. (also the right side of my keyboard, especially "p", "0" and apostrophe are like not working so apologies for any typos)

but yeah so to start off it was only men excet for me and this other girl. and she was really cool. tbh at first i thought i would be intimidated bc she has this startup and ive seen their ads on instagram and i thought it was this big thing. but i talked to her and the product's not out yet and she has a background in marketing, so no wonder the ads look really good. but as far as her project goes she's like just started and it's not super organised yet, so i was like oh okay. but yeah, she was cool!

then there was this tall blond italian guy with round glasses who wore a suit and he looked like some dark academia anime character. like he had these skinny legs and long arms and he had the look and the manerisms of a tumblr sexyman. it was so funny to me. i mean props to him for looking so polished, but he was literally the personofication of that triangle with the monocle everyone was obsessed with in 2014.

then there was a guy who developed/was on the sales team of this like nft puzzle game with monkeys. why are nfts always monkeys??? the art of the game was so ugly too. and no one really understood what the purpose of it was.

then there was a guy who was trying really hard to be like this miami rich guy vibe. you know the one. bald + button up shirt/polo + sunglasses + sportscar combo. sort of like andrew tate adjacent. he said that he recently bought a house in locarno and i was like jesus we are not the same are we.

and then, my least favourite of them all, there was this like middle aged guy who just gave off conspiracy theorist vibes. i couldnt quite put my finger on it. but like imagine the type of man whos like angry at the world and who probably follows eric zemour and some like niche youtube "lifecoaches" who talk about how the government controls all your data. his vibes were so off. and he kept going on and on about how he wants to disrupt the credit card market. and when someone asked him what the purpose of that was he said that it was confidential. like. i hate men like this.

it made me think about how like my ex B was into that kind of conspiracy theory mindset. and he was really into crypto. and he'd watch these like weird youtubers with 10k subscribers who'd make hour long videos about french politics. and i was like dude why do you care so much about france. if i could live the rest of my life not knowing anything about france i would. but he would purosefully watch videos about like the gilets jaunes or whatever. and dude who the fuck cares. it got really bad during covid cos he'd watch antivax videos all the time. it was so bad. thank god i dont have to ut up with that anymore.

but yeah it made me think about how B organised this like crypto conference at this hotel. and i was so embarrassed. but it was his passion so i didn't want to hurt his feelings and said nothing.

but he rented out a hotel conference room. and invited this like middle aged man to talk about his "legal tech" "startup". and there were quite a lot of peole, like at least 50, i was so surised! and i had such a "the king has no clothes" moment. bc there were all these people talking about crypto and this guy presenting a project that made zero sense and it was all at this hotel and it gave off such mlm pyramid scheme vibes. and i was sitting there like "am i the stupid one here"? am i the only one who can see that the king has no clothes or what? like

so yeah seeing that guy yesterday reminded me of B's weird interests. and it like triggered me in a way idk. bc at the end of the day who cares if there's a guy who gives off conspiracy theorist vibes? maybe he wasn't even a conspiracy theorist, whatever. but his just like presence made me so angry.

everyone else was pretty normal and the course was super interesting. but yeah, sometimes specific memories come up about B and our relationship. and it makes me shudder.

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly? I feel people particularly in Western and individualist capitalist society over complicate and subscribe to a concept of "sense of self" that is far more limited and self destructive than not and that rather limited concept of "sense of self" is largely why there stuff like DID and all seem to be "more prevalent in western cultures" since identity and "sense of self" as a thing of "what makes me who I am and what makes me different than others"

But honestly? As I see it, my / our sense of self is the collection of our way of existing and maybe a vague sense of our principles and values that we collectively have - but even thats a "maybe". Imo the sense of self is always changing and any real attempts to label it is 9/10 times just going to describe your present state of being and while that is very important to acknowledge, trying to hold yourself to an identity that is rooted in an arbitrary state of being established at an arbitrary time you last reflected and checked in/on your "sense of self" tends to drive a lot of distress, confusion, and general "stuckness" when - for whatever reason - your current sense of self doesn't align with what it was last Tuesday when you thought of it.

Riku and I talk about this all the time, between Riku's more classical Zen Buddhist approach to things and me just generally being anti-captialist anti-individualism - it's something we really like to have our internal socratic seminars over /hj

But I guess in short for us, each alter has a momentary sense of self defined by their own general way of existing, and somewhere in there, there is a collective way of existing that we have that we all vibe with and understand but due to DID and dissociation, we ourselves can't see it as clearly as outsiders might and honestly? That's fine. We don't need to clearly see that because imo, knowledge and a deep word-bound understanding of what that is tends to be a lot more restraining and harmful than actually knowing it.

I generally go by the line of "I am me" (OK RIKU IM TRYING TO TALK ABOUT OUR CONVERSATION PLEASE DONT THROW MEMES AT ME WHEN IM TRYING TO TALK ABOUT THIS) and I think that applies both on the alter and system level. There's no real need to over complicate it.

Like I can say stuff like "I'm a nonbinary male rocker boy anti-capitalist anti-individualism white haired ass whole who is an introject of like 6 different sources and loves martial arts and DMC and" all that I want and that is all true and I love and value all those very identifying traits of myself and regularly indulge in that, but really, all of that is just what I am *right now* and not who I am as a whole large concept that lives, grows, and changes over time.

Sense of self is, and should be, ever growing, ever changing, and undefinable with words in my opinion and approaching sense of self like that removes A LOT of stress on this "oh no but we have to be consistent" and "well who AM I" cause like.... you are you no matter what and no matter how complicated, chaotic, and structurally chaotic "you" might be as well as regardless of if you can see "you" clearly.

The thing is, even as a system, others will perceive you and they will see the whole more clearly than you do because they don't see all the internal workings as detailed to clutter it - but it's there, solely on the basis that your being is operating and interacting in the world in some way that is defined by your life experiences and internal experiences and your actions compiled paint an image of self. We can't see it well cause amnesia and what not, but it's there and I trust outsiders to see and acknowledge it without me needing to consciously label it.

But I digress-

//kicks XIV off the platform// I'M LITERALLY SCREAMING I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE LAST 20 MINUTES FOR A REALLY GOOD ZEN BUDDHIST 1.5 HOUR LONG DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC THAT I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKED AND I THINK ITS OFF YOUTUBE AND IM GOING TO CRY AND SCREAM AND DIE AND //shot//

I really wanted to link it here up at the top cause it was REALLY good and REALLY liberating but now I guess at least I have a reason to go find another speaker who converses it half as well

If I find something like that I'll link it but like "Who am I" is honestly a very fundamental meditative question within Zen and (apparently from what I find while trying my hardest to find the video on youtube) Tibetan Buddhism and its such a nice thing to meditate though.

((WHY IS IT NO LONGER THERE IM GOING TO CRY AND DIE AND SCREAM AND-//shot//)

(... ironically case in point of the ever changing "way of being" XD)

On Identity

The other day, I saw someone talk about struggling with their own identity outside of “someone with DID” or “a person with trauma”. And that got me to thinking… what even is identity in the context of those of us who are a system? Individual alters may have their own sense of identity, sure, however they find that identity. But is there a system identity? And not like…. just in the sense of “we’re part of this system”, but like…. a whole, overarching identity that feels like “me” that the whole system feels, if that makes sense?

And what even makes up an identity? I’ve heard of people saying things like, favorite color or favorite food, but that feels incredibly surface level. But things like race, age, and class also feel too limiting. Or rather… I don’t like putting the focus on those things as my identity. It’s a part of my identity, yes. But not really the whole story?

The sense of “me” is kind of weird for people with DID and trying to differentiate how that feels from alter to alter is hard to articulate. And I’m sure no two systems even conceptualize identity the same way. The sense of “me” vs “not me” is both nebulous and distinct. And is there maybe some sort of an undercurrent of “me” that’s prevalent throughout all the alters in my system?

I think I can pretty confidently say, yeah. There is definitely a sense of “me” that seems present in every single alter in this system. I can’t really spell out what that “me” is, but I think it’s there. And as the days go on that sense of identity, of “me”, not as a part but as a whole, gets a little bit stronger.

Maybe this is what it means to be less dissociative. Maybe this is the beginning of what healing looks like for me.

[thebookwormfairy]

Buzzfeed Unsolved Part 3

Here's my contribution for Spooky season. This will be mainly class salt but there will be a little bit off the maribat team we love and their usual antics

Lila couldn't believe it

The whole point of pushing Marinette out of class life was to isolate her enough so that Lila would be the new class favorite but not enough that she'll leave

Who was suppose to to provide the class with free sweets and plan all the class outings and events

But here Lila was listening to Ms. Bustier as she made the announcement

Ms. Bustier: please take your seats class. We're going to hold elections for Class Representative

Alya: Shouldn't we wait for Marinette, Ms. Bustier? I mean she's the only one running right?

The rest of the class made sounds of agreement and nodded their heads

Lila tried not to roll her eyes

Ms. Bustier: Marinette will actually no longer be joining our class

Class: WHAT?!

Ms. Bustier: Marinette has been given a great opportunity to go to Gotham Academy one of the top rated schools in the world

Lila seeing a opportunity to spin this in her favor decided to speak up

Lila: So Marinette decided to abandoned us, even though she knew we counted on her. I mean who's going to help with costumes, or babysitting, or give us bake goods?

Alya: That's a good point!

Nino: This is going to mean we're going to have to cut down on our dates

Mylene: Oh no! The next school play is going to be a disaster without Marinette's costumes!

Adrien: How could Marinette just abandon us like this! It's not like her!

Ms. Bustier: Okay class calm down. We don't want any akumas now. Let's focus on the election for the next class representative. Are there any volunteers?

Unsurprisingly Chloe's hand shot up

Ms. Bustier: okay we have Chloe, anybody else?

Alya: how about you Lila? You'd make a great representative

Lila: Oh no I'm far to busy with all my volunteering and obligations, but you should definitely do it Alya. You were Marinette's deputy after all

Alya raising her hand: You're right? I mean how hard could it be?

Alya learned exactly how hard it is when she won the election and was told all her new duties

Alya: Are you serious? Marinette never brought any of these up to me

Ms. Bustier: She didn't want to cut too much into your time

It took awhile but Alya finally got the hang of things

Though none of the class events were as extravagant as when Marinette was in charge

She made Nino her deputy hoping it would give them more time together

And it did but it also meant that a lot of her paperwork was late meaning the class couldn't do as much stuff

But did the class blame Alya for this?

No

They blamed Marinette

Because somehow it was her fault that Alya were too wrapped up in her boyfriend to actually do her job

A couple of months later Lila and Alya watched the Ghoul Gang's (a/n: That's Marinette, Damian, and Jason's group name) first video that somehow had 10k views and already had 25k subscribers

Alya: How is she so popular?

Lila: How does she have so many views?

Alya: How does she have more hits then the Ladyblog?!?

They started scrolling through the short list of other videos that was posted

Adrien: Oh are you watching Marinette's videos?

Alya: You knew about this?

Adrien: Yeah it's not really my taste but I want to support our friend dont you guys?

Lila making her eyes tear up: Why would we want to support somebody who abandoned us

Alya wrapping her arms around Lila: Yeah Adrien she makes a good point. Marinette didn't even say goodbye!

Adrien trying to placate the two: Maybe she didn't have a chance

Lila: Oh please if she really wanted to she would had MADE time to say goodbye, right Alya?

Alya: Yeah!

The two girls showed the rest of the class the videos

And they had to admit they liked them

They were fun to watch and it was nice to see the old Marinette again

Lila could see this and it made her seeth

She had to turn this to her benefit

And she knew just how to do it

Lila: I can't believe you guys would support Marinette! It's obvious that she's just bragging and showing off her new life!

Chloe: I can't believe I'm saying this but Lila's right! It's obvious that Dupen-Cheng is just rubbing her new life in our faces! It's utterly ridiculous!

Alya hated that she agreed with Chloe but she also spoke of her agreement

Some of the other classmates agreed with them, but others like the member of Kitty Section and Nathaniel just thought that Lila and Alya were still a little hurt that Marinette left and Chloe was just jealous

They decided they would still watch the show just not talk about it with the rest of the class

A year later and Lila couldn't stand how popular Marinette's little YouTube channel was

She also couldn't stand that she had a richer boyfriend then her own, Adrien

So with the help of Alya, Nino, and of course her boyfriend Adrien they decided to do their own show

That was SLIGHTLY similar (read: rip off) of the Ghoul Gang's own show

They had Lila and Adrien as the host

Because of course they had to be the host, they were models and had more experience on camera

Nino did all the camera work

And Alya did research and worked sound

A lot of people called them out for being an obvious ripoff of the Ghoul Group's show from their name to their editing

But what people found worst that they were a bad ripoff

Lila and Adrien didn't have the same chemistry as Marinette and Jason

Adrien just agreed with whatever Lila said

There was no fun banter

And because neither of them believed in ghost there were no funny freakouts

Their show was mostly watched just for ripping on

Which both Alya and Lila hated

How could Marinette be so popular!

Lila just had to find some way to prove that her show is superior to Marinette's

And she learned the purest opportunity when she saw Marinette and the rest of the Ghoul Gang filming on some random street

Marinette: now we're back the next day at Rue Des Chantres after our terrifying investigation last night

Jason: What are you talking about it Thumbelina? It wasn't scary here last night. We even ran into the local heroes.

Damian: Which we'll be showing in a special bonus video at the end of our Paris series.

Marinette: Thanks Damian. And it was to scary. Remember what we heard on the spirit box, Green Giant?

Jason: Beep dop ga Apple tatter cre mauf

Marinette: No the other thing

Jason: Do you think we could make apple taters? Could that be a thing?

Damian: Focus Todd

Marinette: Anyway thanks for watching and join us next time to see us explore the famous catacombs under Paris. And for now weither the Rue Des Chantres is haunted will remain...

Marinette/Jason: Unsolved

Damian: And cut! Great job guys!

Marinette going over to hug Damian: Thanks honey. Great job filming as usual

Marinette gave Damian a peck on the lips

Jason: Seriously are Apple tatters possible? They sound good

Marinette: Maybe we can do some experimenting when we get back to the bakery.

Jason pumping his fist: Awesome!

Damian: We just have to finish on time to head to the catacombs. You wouldn't believe what I had to go through to get the catacombs to ourselves tonight

Jason laughing: Calm down demon spawn besides this will be a nice bonus video

The trio walked away and Lils felt a smirk grow on her face

If she and her lackies could best those losers to the catacombs they could have a episode before them and it would look like they ripped off her group instead of the other way around

Later that night the Ghoul Group showed up at the Catacombs fully expecting to be let in only to be stopped by secruity

Secruity: Sorry folks the catacombs are close tonight. Apparently their filming something tonight

Lila looking smug: Yes that will be us we're the Ghoul Group.

Secruity: I'm sorry but the filming permit is under the name Damian Wayne. Is that one of you?

Alya: No, but their must he some mistake. Lila said she called and we were clear to film here tonight

Secruity: Sorry but without a permit you can't film here. Please move along

Lila: How dare you?! Do you no who I am?

Marinette from behind the group: No, but I do

Alya, Lila, Adrien, and Nino turned around to see Marinette, Damian, and Jason standing behind them

Damian walked forward to show secruity his ID

Alya, Nino, and Adrien: MARINETTE!

Marinette: Why are you trying to steal our filming location?

Alya: Why did you abandon us?

Marinette: What are you talking about?

Alya: You abandoned us! You left without saying a word! Who did you expect to pick up the slack after you left?! Who did you expect to do costumes for the school play, or run fundraisers or babysit Chris or the twins?! You completely left us in the lurch

Marinette felt any guilt about leaving without telling anybody melt away

Marinette glaring: I thought that the people who I thought were my friends only saw me as an employee, and you just proved it

Ayla rolling her eyes: What are you talking about Marinette? You're being over dramatic as usual

Marinette: That is what I'm talking about! Think back to the final couple of months I was in Paris. The only time anybody in the class talked to me was to ask me to do something for them, not even asking if I have time to do it just demanding that I complete what ever they wanted me to do! And you know what leaving was the best decision I ever made!

Marinette didn't wait to hear what Alya had to say she joined Jason and Damian at the entrance and followed them inside never giving thought to the friends she left behind again

3 months later the Ghoul Group broke up.

After Lila was shown to be working with Hawkmoth she was sent to juvenal hall

Lila, Nino, Adrien, and the rest of the class were left wondering how they could lose such a great friend because of a liar who tricked all of them

[bitch-im-your-biggest-nightmare]

Parents fucking suck bro. [Corpse Husband & Reader]

Warnings: Arguments, bad parents, swearing, crying Summary: Y/N loves playing with Among Us with the others, even if she's the youngest among them. While shes playing with them, her parents walk in and are not happy with the fact she’s playing with them. There's a big argument and shit goes down but Corpse is there to comfort Y/N. Tag list:  @save-the-sky @alilshit @whatifwedo @hughugh20 @fleurmoon @bi-andready-tocry @itsminniekat @yoongi-holland @loraleiix @hacker-ghost @fanworrior @marvelous-musicals @annshit @unknown-and-invisible @letsloveimagines @hairbrush-anon @babyhoneystvles 

--------- --------- ---------

“Hey guys” Y/N greeted happily as they entered the lobby in Among Us. They have been playing Among Us with Felix, Sean, Rae, Toast, Sykkuno, Charlie, and Corpse for a while now. Y/N was 18 and still living at home, making money off of YouTube. They’re parents were strict and wanted them to have a “real job” like being a doctor. Y/N knew their parents were toxic and would disapprove of their job choice, so they keep it a secret.  

“hey Y/N” 

“Hello” 

“hii” 

“Whats up Y/N” 

Everyone began to greet them, which made them smile. Y/N was filming the gameplay of this for a new video on their channel. Everyone seemed to love when they played Among Us, so they always played it- doing commentary and music on the side. “How you guys doing on this..” they looked out the window of their darkened bedroom, seeing heavy rain pouring down from the dark clouds in the sky. “Pretty damn depressing day where i'm at, holy shit.”

There was a couple of laughs and chuckles, and everyone began to state what the weather was like where they were. There was a lot of “Its nice out where am”s. It rains a fuck ton where Y/N lives, especially during spring. But they loved it, rain was their favorite. 

“Alrriiight is everyone here?” Toast asked.

“Nope, Corpse is joining.” Sean announced, which caused sounds of happiness. Corpse was everyone's favorite, it was that damn voice. Corpse was Y/Ns bestie, they always had each other backs. There was many people who shipped them, but they both only wanted to be friends. 

A few seconds after Sean spoke, Corpse joined. “Hey guys.” Corpse said, he sounded tired. But that was common for him, he told you about his insomnia. He probably didn’t get any sleep last night.

“Alright lets start the game.” Sean said, clicking to begin the game. Y/N smiled at the big letters reading “IMPOSTER” at the top of their screen. They’re a really good imposter- as they were told. They first went to blend in with crewmates, going to walk around a bit. While roaming around, they went into electrical to fake a task. Y/N saw this as the perfect chance to get their first kill in. So, they snuck up and killed him, then they vented to escape. 

After a minute, a dead body was reported and they were now at an emergency meeting. 

“Where was the body?” Toast asked. 

“I found the body iiin.. electrical.” Rae replied, “Who was in there last?”

“I did see Y/N walking towards electrical.” Felix said, “That is where the body was found.” 

“Yeah, but did go into electrical?” Y/N said, “I was heading to reactor, I had a task there.” 

“Not the best alibi.” Sean said, “But I’ll take it.” 

“Could be Rea, but.. wait no.” Sykkuno said. 

“How could it be me if I reported the body?” Rae chuckled. 

“Yeah I know I just realized.” Sykkuno replied. 

“So... skip vote?” Corpse said. 

“I’m still sus on Y/N.” Felix said while voting for Y/N. 

“Vote Aoc shes kinda sus.” Y/N said, voting for Rae.

“Wha- Y/N!” Rae said. 

“Sus.” Y/N said plainly. 

“Ok yeah i'm skipping this vote.” Toast said, skipping the vote. 

Most people skipped the vote, so no one was out. Y/N continued to play the game how she would, until she killed someone and had to quickly vent because someone just walked by. That made them shriek, “oh sugar honey ICED tEA-” they laughed, “That was a close one, hah.” Well seemed they were being too loud because their mother walked in. 

“Why are you being so loud?” She asked, just as an emergency meeting started. 

“Oh shit- my moms here hold on.” Y/N said, going to mute but misclicking, so now they were all going to hear this. “I’m just playing Among Us.” 

“Shouldn’t you be looking for a job instead of playing stupid video games?” Mom said, stepping into the room. 

“Oh- uhm... I do YouTube as a job. I make money of it.” Y/N replied quietly, knowing what was to come next.

‘whAT?! YouTube is not a fucking job Y/N!! Me and your father told you many many times that we want you to be a doctor!” Mom yelled. Y/Ns sister got into a great college because of her smarts and intelligence, shes going to be a surgeon one day. But that just wasn’t Y/N, they wanted to make content for the people on the internet. And so far, it was working pretty damn well.

Y/N sighed, “Oh my god mom shut up! I hate all that doctor college bullshit. Im making enough money on here!”

“Are you delusional?! Why can’t you be more like your sister, shes so successful!” Mom yelled, she was in disbelief. She wanted to have the perfect children, but she only got one. 

“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS COMPARE ME TO HER?!?” Y/N screamed, beginning to cry. “What does it fucking matter?!” 

“You are such a fucking disappointment. Get off that damn game!” Mom said, running over to pull Y/N away. But Y/N pushed her back. 

“Bro FUCK off! its my goddamn business, Im a fucking adult now, leave my shit alone!” Y/N screamed through the tears. 

“I am your mother! I know best! Now get off that fuckin- OW!” Y/N slapped their mother straight across the face, pushing her out of their room and closing the door, locking it. They sat back down and looked at her screen. 

“Oh fuck. You heard all of that.” Y/n choked a little, “Shit.”

This is where Corpse came in, breaking the silence and shock between everyone. They listened to the whole thing, messaging each other in the chat what to do. “Hey, your moms an asshat.” 

Y/N flinched, hearing banging on her door and screaming. “And a fucking psychopath!” they sunk down a bit, putting their hands on their forehead and breathing heavily. “Shes gonna kill me!” 

“Hey hey hey, its alright Y/N. Don’t let her get to you, she doesn’t know what shes saying.” Rae said. 

“I personally think you have great content.” Toast said, “I don’t think i would trust you as a doctor.” 

“hey don’t listen to her Y/N, we’re always here for you.” Corpse said, “DM me and we can talk about it more, ok?” 

Y/N sniffled, “Ok.” Then they muted, taking their phone out to DM Corpse. 

T/N: Hey 

Corpse_Husband: Hey are you doing alright?

T/N: No

T/N: Do you think im a disappointment? Is YouTube really worth it?

Corpse_Husband: Disappointment? no. The only disappointment is that sad excuse of a mother you have. And YouTube? hell yeah its worth it. I started youtube off when I was younger and had a blast. If you’re having fun and making bank keep doing it! You’re 18, your mother doesn’t control you anymore. 

Corpse_Husband: Pewdiepie is a subscriber to your channel

Corpse_Husband: That should be enough motivation

T/N: you have weird ways of making me happy :’) 

Corpse_Husband: I do have facts. 

Corpse_Husband: But seriously, please dont have a panic attack, those suck. But do you wanna play more Among Us? It might cheer you up :D 

T/N: Yeah yeah yeah thanks. And sure, I’ll play more among us. Thanks Corpse, your the best best friend 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🌹🌹🥀

Corpse_Husband: 🥺

~The End~ 

Oh my god this ones terrible. I might rewrite it in the future. 

[brelione]

Endgame(Kiara Carrera X Reader)

Request:with kie with a like super rich kook SO and bringing them to meet the rest of the pogues and they all expect to hate them but then not

Kiara had never liked you.Well, she had never reallly met you.She kind of just assumed you were a bitch.You were what Sarah Cameron thought she was, you came from a ridiculously rich family.

Your mother was a brain surgeon and your father was a famous actor so that obviously meant that you were ridiculously rich.Kie had done a lot of research on you, finding your name on your fathers wikipedia page and from there finding your blog where you posted videos of him behind the scenes and personal interviews with him on your youtube channel.

She was up for 16 hours straight watching all of your videos, memorising your intro song.You had a good one million subscribers, posting a lot of blogs and videos showing things that you had found on the beach.She would blush and giggle at your little comments.

 “Hey, beautiful people!Its your bitch and today im gonna show you guys my new surf board because my old one got broke on an accident.I mean, my wrist also broke so if you were gonna comment on it, trust me.I definitely noticed.So before I get into this video I just want to talk about mental health really quickly.”You paused to take in a quick breath, speaking a bit too fast.

Theres a new suicide game and its getting across social media really quick so please do me a favor and stay safe.It doesnt matter what the problem is now, its only temporary and suicide is a permanent solution.I linked some suicide hotlines and free therapy sources in the description so please just keep yourselves healthy and happy for me, okay?Okay, cool.”You licked your lips, calming down from the quick rant.

“Also drink some fucking water!Its hot out and I almost passed out the other day and make sure you get a snack because this video is already fifteen minutes long and im probably gonna be ranting for another hour.”You grinned at the camera.

Kiara bit into a carrot stick, her knees on her chest as she sat in the recliner of her living room. “Watching another documentary?”Her mother asked, noticing that her daughter hadnt moved in hours.Kie shrugged, focusing on you as you dropped your surfboard. “This is exactly how I broke the first one-fuck!”You laughed, picking it back up.

Eventually the boys started to spam her phone, interrupting her binge watching.She left her house with a sigh, walking out to the dock and waiting for the pogues.Thats when she heard your voice.It was quiet as you walked, wearing white jeans and a light blue button up shirt.

 “So you guys always ask me to show you the beach that I find all of my seashells at so thats what we’re-”You paused, looking over to Kiara.She quickly looked away, pretending to be busy on your phone. “Sorry guys, I just saw a really pretty girl.”You whispered to your phone, continuing your walk.

From there she finally worked up the courage to talk to you.She couldnt simply message you on instagram, you had hundreds of thousands of followers so her dm would get lost with all the others.

So she found her prettiest outfit and walked to your house, knocking on the door.You looked at her through the camera of your doorbell, knowing that you had seen her before.You set down your lap top as you were editing, going to answer the door. 

“Hi...um...hi.”She laughed, not planning on getting this far. “Hi, um...what’s up?”You cringed at your words. “Nothing much.I just live a block away and I just thought id say hi...im sorry.”She laughed again, becoming more anxious.

 “Its fine!So um...I dont know, do you wanna maybe hang out sometime?”You asked, leaning against your doorway.She licked her lips, trying her best not to blush. “Yeah, yeah ok.Um...could I get your number?”She asked, holding her phone.

You nodded, giving her your phone number and telling her to text you whenever.Once the door was closed and she had left you were a squealing mess on your couch, recording. 

“So you guys know that pretty girl I was talking about that I saw?Yeah so I just got her number and im low key freaking out-oh god lets just hope she doesnt watch my channel!”You laughed before finishing the editing process, uploading it to youtube.

Kiara got the notification while she was washing her face, watching the video and absolutely losing her mind.She buried her face in her pillow, squealing before deciding to text you.

Unknown number:hey!Its Kiara.Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?

You smiled, letting out a sigh.You screenshotted it, knowing that it would be fun to look back at in the future.

You:Sounds good!Do you want to come over and we can get coffee or lunch or something?

Kie:Okay!!12?

You:Works for me :)

Kie:Okay!

You were anxious the whole night, trying to figure out what to wear.You couldnt decide, posting a poll on your instagram.They decided that you’d be wearing a dark green romper and sandals.You went to bed early since you’d have to wake up before afternoon, heart pounding.

When you woke up it was eleven and you were already behind, hopping in the shower quickly, drying your hair and brushing it, trying to get it to a soft texture.You didnt want to look like you were trying too hard, deciding not to use all of the hair products you’d usually put in your hair before a meeting or a date.

You got into your outfit quickly, pinning your pin back with bobby pins so you could moisturize your face, grabbing your box of beads and parting your hair.You braided the two groups of hair that framed your face, intertwining the beads along the way, securing it with an elastic.

You sighed, twisting a golden flower ring onto your pinkie before going down stairs to sit in your large living room, waiting for Kiara.Your doorbell alerted you to motion outside, getting excited when you saw Kiara walking up to your front door.

She was wearing a pink tube top, light washed jeans with her hair half up and half down, bracelets hugging her wrists.You got up, answering the door the second she rung the bell. “Hi.”You smiled, phone in your pocket.

 “Hi.”She smiled back, looking up and down at you.The two of you got into your car, you driving as you started your drive to a cafe. “So how are you?”You asked, realising you knew nothing about her. “Im good, what about you?”She asked, hands in her lap. “I was up all night editing which obviously sucked but you know, it is what it is.”You replied, biting your lip.

She smiled, knowing she’d end up watching the video. “Editing what?Like an edits account on instagram?”She asked, cringing at how stupid it sounded.You shook your head, slowing down once you got to the main road, searching for a parking spot.

 “No, I have a youtube channel.I kind of just post random shit and hope for the best.”You answered, pulling up next to the cafe.She nodded, turning to look at you. “That’s cool, what kind of stuff do you post?”She asked, resting her chain against her palm.

You bit your lip, glancing over at the cafe. “I post a lot of interviews and random videos of my dad and sometimes he’ll take me to a set with him and i’ll take videos with the cast.I got to meet Scarlet Johannson so thats cool.”You replied, unbuckling your seatbelt.She grinned.

 “Thats fucking awesome-were they in a movie together?”She asked, wanting to hear you talk more. “A show thats coming to Netflix soon, its kind of like a murder mystery meets greek mythology and my dad plays Zeus.We should watch it together.”You answered.

The car was cool but you felt hot, probably because her eyes were focused on you.She nodded, liking the idea of hanging out with you more. “That’d be awesome.”The two of you went inside, the barista grinning at you.

She had always liked you and liked showing up in your vlogs when you came in to get your coffee with boba.She looked to the unknown girl beside you, a small pout on her face. “What can I get for you ladies?”She asked, already preparing your coffee. 

“What do you want, Kie?”You asked, moving aside so she could see the menu. “Uhhh….whats a green frappe?”She asked, squinting at the menu. “Oh-its like a blended matcha latte with like mint and vanilla.It's really good.”You explained.

The two of you sat with your drinks, Kiara laughing as you stabbed the boba bubbles at the bottom of your cup. “You know whats cool?These straws are made of hemp plastic so its-”She cut you off before you could finish.

 “Biodegradable?”She asked.You nodded, glad someone finally knew what you were talking about. “Yeah!And the company is awesome, they have like 10% of sales going to help the Amazon rain forests and another 10% going to help clean the ocean.”You smiled, taking a sip of coffee.

The afternoon had ended with the two of you on the beach, taking photos of eachother discretely while you finished your drinks, searching for sea glass and watching the sun set.Kiara was freaking out on the inside, knowing that she was pretty much dating a celebrity.

It didnt take long after that first day for her to start showing up in your videos.You held your camera as you two walked down the beach, her hand holding yours and twirling you every once in a while, flashing a smile to the camera. 

“So we’re currently on our way to a place that Kie will not tell me about because shes rude.”You spoke, turning the camera to face you.Kiara simply laughed, placing her chin on your shoulder. “Uh...no its because im good at planning surprises.”She answered, grinning when you gasped.

Two surfboards were on the sand along with a blanket and a basket full of fruits, veggies and sandwiches.You cut the camera, giggling and pulling her into a kiss. “Love you.”She grinned, giggling.

 “Love you too.”You replied, looking down at the boards.It didnt take long for the two of you to be in only your swimsuits, grabbing the boards and heading towards the water.You clipped the camera to your board, making sure it was secure before stating to film, catching a few good waves on camera before focusing more on Kie.

 “There she is, showing off for you guys.”You zoomed in on Kiara as she rode the wave, twisting her body to get a beautiful spin on the dark blue wave.She disappeared under the water, resurfacing with a smile and hair on her face, swimming towards you.

 “Did you see that?”She asked, a proud smirk tugging at her lips.You nodded. “How could I miss it?”You asked, earning an eye roll from your girlfriend. “Shut up.”She splashed you, letting out a loud laugh when you splashed back at her.

Turning off the camera, laying on your stomachs against your boards, holding hands so you wouldnt drift away from eachother.It was heaven. “So...ive been thinking lately.”She started, a nervous look on her face.

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. “And I think I want you to meet my friends.”She tapped her fingernails against your surfboard, waiting anxiously for your answer.She had told the boys all about you.

About how you had a huge following on youtube, how your dad was an actor and how you lived in the biggest house on figure eight.She had tried her best to tell them that you werent like the others, that you were fantastic and humble.

But of course they didnt believer her and ‘would believe it when they saw it’.She knew that if she didnt end up introducing you to them sooner or later that she’d lost the chance to introduce you at all.

You nodded, considering it. “Yeah, okay.When?”You asked, hoping you’d at least have time to think about this. “Tomorrow.”She replied, wincing when you let out a small shout. “Tomorrow?Shit-Kie, im not ready!”You exclaimed, covering your mouth when you realised how loud you had been. 

“Babe, chill.Let me pick out your outfit and it’ll be fine.”She insisted.You gave in, the two of you paddling back to the sand, wrapping up in your towels and sitting on the blanket, eating some cutie oranges.

She spent the night at your house, holding on tight to you even though the two of you were in a king sized bed and she had more than enough space to spread out like a starfish.

The morning came too fast, Kiara raiding your closet for something appropriate for the occasion, pleased when she came across a black bathing suit and a yellow shirt along with some jeans, tossing them at you. 

“Babe, you gotta get up.”She told you, already dressed and ready to go.You groaned, finally getting up a few minutes later, slowly changing and not even bothering to pick up your pajamas.You were still sore from last night, stretching your limbs as you pulled the jeans up your body.The boys were spamming her phone, making her annoyed.

Dumb Blonde:Where are you guys

God:Are you bringing them with you

Trash Rat:Dont bring them with you 

Trash Rat:The place is a mess

Trash Rat:Kie

Trash Rat:Kiara

Trash Rat:Kiara Madelyn Klark Carrera

God:Where are you guys

Dumb Blonde:Wait are they the one with the dad that was in that one movie

She ignored their texts, turning off her notifications and sending you a quick smile, promising to get you an iced coffee on the way.You were half asleep in the passengers seat until she handed you a french vanilla iced coffee, slowly becoming awake.

By the time you had finished your coffee she had pulled into John.B’s drive way, hand on your thigh in attempts to calm you down. “You’re gonna be fine, babe.Everyone likes you, they just havent met you yet.”She grinned, getting out of the car.

You squeezed her hand, following her into the house.The boys were all sitting on the couch, looking up once the two of you had entered.JJ immediately looked you up and down, raising an eyebrow.You felt a bit insecure, trying to figure out what he thought of you.

 “This is (Y/N).(Y/N), these are the boys.Thats John.B, thats JJ and thats Pope.”She pointed to each of the boys.The tension in the room was ridiculous until Kiara pulled you into her lap, the boys looking between eachother. “So whats it like having a movie star as a dad?”JJ asked, the first one to speak up.

You bit your bottom lip, pulling at the skin on your hands. “umm...its really cool sometimes.Chris Hemsworth is a family friend so thats cool but like...I cant go anywhere with him when he’s home without getting followed around and there was this one teenage girl stalking him once and she was climbing our house and was watching me sleep.”You answered, relieved when you heard Pope chuckle. 

“Wait, actually?Thats so scary.”He replied, the two of you beginning to calm down a bit.You, John.B and JJ were all conversating about Chris Hemsworth, all of them asking a lot of questions.

 “Wait-who else have you met from the Avengers?”John.B asked. “I met Scarlet Johanson and Chris Evans.”You replied.Kiara smacked your leg. “You met Christ Evans and never told me?”She asked, outraged.

You rolled your eyes, pulling out your phone to show them the vlog that Chris had made an appearance in.Kiara was just confused as to why she had never seen it before you informed her that it was private. 

“Ew-ignore my face.Just wait a few seconds.”You told them, the phone between the circle that had ended up forming. “Oh my god!Its Chris Evans!”JJ shouted, staring at the phone.Chris had leaned over your shoulder, saying a quick ‘hello’ to the camera before Scarlet stole it from you. 

“This is Scarlet Johannson and I have decided to take over my new role as (Y/N)’s mom.Im sorry (Y/M/N) but they’re mine now.”She smiled.Her hair had been dyed a light blonde, red lipstick and light eyeshadow.

You had been freaking out the whole time. “Wait-will you ever see her again?”JJ asked.You hummed, sure that she’d be making an appearance for a Christmas Party. “Can you tell her I love her, please?”He asked, face red. “She reaches my vlogs-do you guys want to be in one?”You offered, remembering that you had your camera in your bag.

They all agreed, excited as you took out your camera, Kiara holding onto you. “So Kiara introduced me to her friends today and JJ has a special message for Scarlet.”You grinned, pointing the camera towards him. “Marry me, please.”He winked, giggling.

Pope flashed a peace sign at the camera, John.B sticking out his tongue and doing finger guns. “This is John.B and this is Pope, and then we have Kie as always.”You pointed the camera at her.She bit her lip, winking at the camera and making you laugh.

 “Oh my god- what is this vlog.”You shook your head, turning off the camera.When you had posted the vlog that night you were spammed with comments demanding JJ’s instagram and of course you had to give the people what they wanted.

JJ was more than happy to have a ton of pretty girls hyping him up in his comments, Pope getting a lot of attention as well.Scarlet had made sure to let you know that she had watched it and to tell JJ that he was too young for her but she was flattered by the offer.But then your instagram was being spammed.You were being tagged in dozens of edits of you and Kie along with one of you and JJ.But the comments on that one were so funny.

Kieand(Y/N)4life:bruh no

(Y/N)officialfanpage:no <3

(Y/N)officialfanpage:Kiara and them are meant to be bb

Kiara(Y/L/N):Kiara and them are meant to be buddy

KIEANDYNAREENDGAME:uhhh isnt it confirmed that Kiara and (Y/N) are dating?

“They’re catching on.”You told Kie, sitting down on the bed and showing her all the things you were tagged in.She grinned, telling you to post and make it official. “You sure?”You asked.She nodded, fixing her hair as you got ready to take a photo, kissing her cheek. She bit her lip, watching you type.

We are endgame.

@poguestyleskye  @jjtheangel @lovelyelinor @messuhp  @outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @i-love-scott-mccall​

[softness-and-shattering]

I was griping at my partner who suggested I check how often they upload. About twice a month, 30-50 minute videos. And the topics are mostly like, pop culture tiktok drama type of thing with some movie and tv show reviews, but also weird stand alone like "the cult of organisation and celebrity kitchen culture" and "the romanticisation of wealth and the myth of quiet luxury".

500k subscribers, 69 videos but 34 million views. I dont really know what "normal" youtube statistics look like but mmmm thats approx average 500k views per video and you dont start with as many followers as you have 12 years later. Sorry the account has existed for 12 years but the oldest visible video is 5 years ago. I dont know how to look for other stats. Ok they do have a copy+paste link dump of sources in their descriptions, I dont have the capacity to go through and see if theyre just copying off their sources or actually doing any kind of analysis. The video I was watching though, the sources are two other youtube video essays on the same topic, and four links about Black/PoC pop punk bands which was a quick recommendation, not a main topic. Im not gonna go so far as to say this is definitely a content farm, but theres quite a few red flags. (including that they struggled to say 'pseudo' and 'instrumentation', which by itself is fine they were both in quoted definitions, but in context...you should practice the words in your script. Makes it seem rushed. And idk how ableist/classist this might be, it makes it sound like they doesnt know what theyre talking about.)

Today in "This is badly written wait is it sloppy misinformation".

Im listening to this random video essay just for noise, anyway this essayist is about to tell me why authenticity is so important to punk culture, but first they have to define punk for me, so they pull out a dictionary definition. Objectively funniest way to talk about what punk is. "Also, theyre usually anti-monarchist" pffft really?!

[levyfiles]

hey! sorry if this ask is idk, negative or something you dont want to talk abt, but what do ou think about how the new channel is doing? i think its going pretty well but i keep seeing people saying theyre disappointed and im curious about your thoughts. i think people are comparing them too much to ppl like the try guys, who were able to split from buzzfeed outright with the same branding rather than the weird in between situation the guys are in now

I think the reason people are disappointed is because there has been a lot of half-assed “break off from buzzfeed!!” sentiment from casual fans who read a lot of anti-buzzfeed edgy discourse but people who post shit like that tend not to realise how creative ownership actually works. They want Buzzfeed Unsolved on its own channel; they want sit down videos with Shane telling his hot dog story forever and Ryan and Shane going to spooky spaces to be silly until they run out of locations. They experience their media through a vortex that cycles through the same damn thing until its tired and their content creators experience burn out. They forget that Shane, Steven and Ryan now in control of their funding and their own creative image now have the chance to flex their clearly promising ability to produce shows that change the face of youtube.

This is what makes it unfair to compare their situation to the Try Guys because the Try Guys’ entire branding is about who they are as people, their public image and just literally them doing things together. They didn’t have an actual show; they had a series of their own videos. The Try Guys left Buzzfeed to become Youtubers in their own right so not unlike their series at Buzzfeed they were able to break away and do absolutely anything which includes some sit-down videos and games in between their usual series. There is also an element of their personal lives weaved right into the content, but Shane, Ryan, and Steven all wrote and produced a respective show which accrued a specific kind of fanbase that is just as much invested in the show’s subject matter as it is in them as people. 

So as far as it looks to me, Ryan, Steven and Shane want to launch their own video production company (perhaps even their own version of Buzzfeedvideo). The difference is gonna be what makes their climb a tiny bit slower than if they’d come out with an Unsolved channel of some sort. and that’s honestly what I was expecting once the launch drew near; it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. They want to create a brand that creates diverse and exploratory shows with a strong edutainment energy and they’re doing this from literally the ground up and that’s impressive considering that each of their videos without the benefit of promotion from Buzzfeed, are doing pretty good. 

Anyway, my hope is that this year once pilot season is over, they’ll start to do promo appearances, shopping around for bigger channels to appear on (GMM??) for more people to find their new channel. I also think we can help as well. Keep talking to other fans about Watcher, about what goes on behind the scenes in the patreon and know that the series, regardless of how much they differ from what we’ve become accustomed to, still have the flavour that drew us to their Buzzfeed content in the first place.

Basically.

Subscribe to Watcher | Join their Patreon | Follow them on Twitter

[yehetting]

Loco & Jay Park - Reaction

kanekilover23 requested: “Hello, can I request a reaction pf Loco and Jay Park when the reader is a youtuber and does the breakup prank on them. Thank you.”

omg haha sorry its so late, here ya go love!

Loco:

He would love having a s/o as a youtuber! Always making fun videos, going to new places recommended by your subscribers. The whole experience was something he never knew he would love so much. That’s until prank season trends came around, he didn’t know that was a thing so it kind of made it easier to get him so good and easily. unfortunately the main trend was fake breaking up with their s/o. You set up different cameras around the living room, to try and get different angles. You had a script ready and everything. Once he came home you pretended to be annoyed already and acted like you where editing another video. He came up and tried to rub your shoulders to help you relax but you shrugged him off telling him to leave you alone. He backed off and went to the room and put his stuff away. When he came back you had added fake tears and pretended like you where crying over “losing all your work”, he ran over to see what was wrong and you said what happened. He tried to hold you but you pushed him off, which made him a little upset. “its okay you can record it again or think of another topic.” he tried to reason. “I cant just ‘record it again’ it was one of my biggest projects I've been working on it for weeks!” You shot back trying not to really cry seeing his face. “Well, I'm sorry, I know how that feels, what can i do to help?” he asked genuinely trying to help. “Nothing, i cant do anything this is something I've been so passionate about and now its gone and all you said was i can record it over or think of a new topic, you knew how much this meant to me and your literally telling me right now that it can just be rerecorded? I cant believe this.” You tried to be as convincing as possible but it was starting to get hard seeing how upset he was actually getting. “I didn't mean it like that, I was just trying to make you fell better..” he said standing up this time and looking down at you. “Are you serious? You are aren't you. I cant do this.” you said standing and starting to walk to the door. “Do what? Where are you going?” he asked realizing you where walking to the front door. “I'm leaving, ill be back in a few days to get my things, you just told me you where trying to make me feel better by putting down all my hard work. I cant be with someone like that I'm sorry.” you put on your shoes and started to open the door when you heard a sniffle. You instantly regretted all of it and just stood there. You turned to see him crying staring at his feet. You felt like shit right then. You had no idea how to tell him it was prank, this was a bad idea. “I'm so sorry....” you whispered real tears coming out. “For what?” he asked so lost at this point. “This was supposed to be a break up prank but I let it get out of hand I'm so so fucking sorry...” You broke and started to cry harder. “What? are you serious?” he asked leaning back and looking at you hard. You just nodded. You pointed at the cameras around the living room. He looked at them all/ in shock. You explained the whole idea and how it got too far when you started to see him cry and how you feel like such an ass. “I really don't expect you to forgive me for this, I'm just really sorry. You said deleting all the footage off the cameras. “no yeah I'm really pissed off right now, ill get over it just please let me be for a little bit, ill come to you when I'm fine.” you nodded and he went into the home gym. He came out sweaty and red from being in there. “hey, so I thought about it and I'm okay with it now, it was a good prank but I wish this wasn't the trend right now. I forgive you.” he said and you smiled. “but to seal the deal you have to give me a hug right now.” he said smiling and holding his arms out for you. You made a gagging face because he was all sweaty but you manned up and gave him a hug. It felt nice despite the sweat. He kissed your cheek. “i love you but don't do that to me every again please. I hated the thought of you leaving me.” he said pain still in his voice. “I wont I promise.” you said kissing him. 

Jay:

He didn't care for the whole youtuber thing like loco did, He did however support anything you did and wanted to help anytime you asked. Needed a kick ass intro and outro song, he was on it and sold you the rights, for kisses, so whenever someone uses it they get copyright claimed. you liked being on the other side of that for a change. He helped with editing sometimes when you're too tired. Having him help you when you needed had its downsides though. He would opt out of the Boyfriend tags trends, because they would “tarnish his bad boy rep” *throws up dumb gang signs* You would laugh it off but that meant you had to do something else and endure the drop in views. You wanted to get back at him for some of it an guess what it was? Break Up prank trend time! Same as loco you set up cams all over his office when he went out to get you some snacks for the movie date you had planned. One was by his computer, his couch behind him and one was placed carefully in-between two of his sound systems. You sat in the living room trying to look pissed off. You seemed pretty convincing because once he stepped into the room he asked what was wrong. You lied and said you saw his emails while cleaning up and saw that he was expected to work tonight. He said that he didn't see it but that he could most likely get out of it. You threw your hands up and followed him to his office where he went to look at the fake email you got his manager to send for you. “I swear its like every time we’re supposed to have alone time you have to work.” you said behind him. He turned and looked at you. “Yeah but, i usually get out of it for us.” he replied still looking at you. “can you this time? you just got off tour! You cant possibly have work already?” you asked pretending to get more annoyed. “I shouldn't ill email him back.” he sat down and started typing away. You riped out your phone and texted his manager about what to do before he hit send on the email. You two sat in silence for a few minutes he tried to reach for your hand a couple times too but you brushed him off. The computer dinged signaling he had a new email. He read it and set his head fell and he sighed. You knew what it said because you basically wrote it. “Seriously?! You're joking right? You just got home!” you got louder. He turned his head to you looking sorry. “I cant help what they do, I'm sorry.” he said trying to reach for you. “I don't care, you just got home this isn't fair to you or me....I don't think I can do this... you work all the time, it feels like i hardly see you.” you said quieter not trying to sound as mean as it did, because you know damn well has always there for you. “I... no I can try to get out of it, Please.. I know its not fair, Its my body their messing with and our relationship.” he got up to move closer but you backed away. “I'm gonna go, ill be at my friends, ill get my stuff in a few days. If I knew this about your company I wouldn't even have said yes to that first date.” Your eyes closed because holy shit you shouldn't have said that. His arm dropped to his side. You backed out of the room and down the hall a little bit. Gaining the courage to go back in. He looked up at you when you came back in. “I.... this was supposed to be a harmless prank but i think I went too far... I'm so sorry jay...” you whispered and let your head hang. You felt warmth and looked up to see him holing you like you would disappear. “what the hell is wrong with you? Please don't ever do something like that again!” he got loud this time pulling away from you. You nodded tears forming. “I promise, Ill delete the footage too.” you said nodding at the cameras. He looked shook, he looked and saw them all. “This was recorded?” he asked. You nodded. “for you channel?” you nodded again. “Please post it! Dude that'll go viral!” Your eyes widened. “What?!” you asked. “I'm serious! If you do you might get scouted for an actress with that amazing acting you did.” he laughed waving at all the cameras. You uploaded it a week later and sure enough it went viral! You got an offer from his company as a commercial actress. 

( I DONT OWN THESE GIFS, CREDIT TO OWNERS )

[concentrateandpush]

Abandoned building

"I know some of you may think it's crazy going to an abandoned building to film a YouTube video whilst 37 weeks pregnant.. but I cant let my 2.3 mil subscribers down! Plus it should be super safe! I mean, theres an open door right where we park, so not long to walk and straight in! No climbing!" Said Kat to her viewers whilst sat in the back of Poppy's car. There were 6 people in total, Kat and Joe, the mommy and daddy to be, Poppy, Kats best friend. Then Corey, Daniel and Dave, the guys who Kat wanted to collab with, they knew each other from elementary but hadn't been close for a long time, Joe and Poppy didnt know them at all.

She had noticed that morning that she wasnt feeling great and it seems that the morning sickness had come back, but she agreed to do this video so she persisted and hey! She had her boyfriend with her after all. Kat and Joe had been together a long time and it was about time they should have a baby, Joe was thrilled, Kat was too but she still felt she could take on the world whilst carrying a human.

They agreed that Poppy would drive seeing as Kat was 37 weeks pregnant and felt uncomfortable driving now. They arrived at the abandoned building as it was going dark, Joe wasnt at all phased by spirits but the rest were hyped and ready to go.

'Hey man, I'm Daniel"

"Joe, nice to meet you"

Joe could instantly tell Daniel was a jerk. At this point in time, whilst everyone was setting up cameras, Poppy chatted to Kat whilst having a smoke.

Kat made sure that nobody was around and quickly said to Poppy "Pops, dont tell Joe, I've been having twinges all morning, I'm super nauseous and I think theres a pattern in the pain, I dont want to tell him because he already cant believe I've come here 9 months pregnant"

Poppy exclaimed "Yeah I'm not surprised, look, videos can wait, let's go back to your apartment and order uber eats, I dont think its wise to stay here" and quickly, Kat snapped "I wont be able to come back here for a long time and I need to film this video, were like 3 hours from home now anyway so let's just film".

It's been a few hours and they had filmed the majority of the scheduled videos. Kat is exhausted at this point and hasn't suffered in pain too much, but she has noticed her belly getting heavier and harder through out filming. They get ready to call it a night and hear a noise from outside, young people, they sound rough and ready to fight.

Daniel whispers "Boys we have to run out, Joe, you up for running out? Girls?"

"I cant run" Kat exclaims, but Joe cuts across her quickly "You expect my 9 month pregnant girlfriend to run out of here, she could trip on anything for starters and -"

Kat starts to feel a lot of pressure and breathes it through but it doesnt go unnoticed, Poppy feels that she has to disclose information "Joe she has felt twinges all day and didnt want to tell you because -"

"Who's in here then? Who's up for a fight?!" Sounds from the outside.

"Okay, everyone shut the fuck up, Daniel phone the police, Joe, an ambulance, nobody argue with me, I need to get out of here" whispers Kat "I've kept this tiny person safe for 9 months, I am not messing it up now, I will not put myself and my child at risk of those kids outside, were in a bad area and they might have weapons so we -"

Joe interrupts "Love, we didnt bring phones, it interferes with the tech"

Kat looks at Joe tearfully and says "Okay well it'll have to happen in here then, I'm in so much pain, I need something to sit on, a jumper or?.."

At this point, Poppy has had enough "Right you three get out there, you do not tell them were in here, it was your idea not to bring phones in and now look where you got us"

Daniel slams back "Mate, your friend wanted to be here even though she cant even walk shes so pregnant, Joe you should never have left her come, you're both going to be parents and cant even- "

"Ahhh, hee hoo hee hoo, please shut up I need to focus, please just shut up" said Kat, "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, okay can I check you? I just need to check how far along you are" said Joe whilst signaling to Poppy that she should come over and help. Joe pulls Kats maternity jeans off and then her panties, the three other boys are stood watching, "never seen a vagina before you pervs?" Shouted Poppy. Kat moans as Joe puts his fingers in, "You're nearly there Kat, you're going to have to push her out in here" he says panicking "I cant" says Kat, "it's dirty and ngghh"

Corey whispers to Daniel "Nah mate, we have to tell her" Joe hears and shouts "Tell her what?!" Daniel laughs and mutters "it's a prank pal, theres nobody outside, it's just the rest of the boys, you need to get her out of here". Joe springs up off the floor and runs towards Daniel "You f*cking what? I'm going to break that pretty face of-"

"I need to push, please, help me" Kat cries, Joe is torn, after a second thought he falls to his knee and pulls Kats legs open and says, "Okay whenever you feel it's right, push as hard as you can" Kat takes a huge breath and presses her chin down on her chest to push and Poppy says "Stop, let's get her to my car, I have blankets and stuff, we can help her birth there, its safer". Huffing and puffing through out, Kat screaches "I cant walk, I can feel the head I need to push her out now, I have to push, I cant hold it anymore".

"Come on, let's get up, get to the car and get this baby out safely" Joe orders, Kat always listens to Joe because he always does what's best. Kat finds the strength to get on her toes, with Joe's hand and Poppy supporting her lower back, once on her feet she stops and takes a moment "hee hoo hee, AHH I cant, I need to push, urrrrggggg", Joe gets on his knees and kisses her bump, "we can get to the car".

Poppy runs ahead, "you can do this Kat you're the strongest person I know" she exits quickly to puff and prod some blankets so that Kat can bare down on them. Whilst Kat waddles out with Joe's support under her elbows "Not long now Mommy, she'll be here".

Kat gets in the car and quickly tries to find a position to push in, but becomes frustrated because she cant find the power to push "I need to squat" she begins pushing harder and harder until she feels powerless.

Kat becomes tired in this position quickly, "I need to get on my back, theres not enough room, Joe can you get in the, hee hoo hee hoo, ahhh, get in the front and I'll put one leg either side of the front seats, that way my legs will be spread as far as they can be, and ill be open for baby to come out". Joe quickly gets up "let me help you into position" but Poppy realises she needs to help her best friend "Joe you get in the front I will help Kat get comfortable".

Kat huffs and puffs through the moving, she is so ready for the baby to be out by now, then it hits her. "I need to push harder, I need her out now, can you guide her Joe, Pops, hold this leg back as far as you can, nghggg ahhh, hoo hooo". At this point the other boys have all left and its pitch black, the only lights are the car lights and phone torches.

Kat is sweating so much that her face is shining. She starts to panic because she feels exhausted and like she's been pushing too long "get me to a hospital Pop, this isnt right". Poppy answers with a smile "You're fine, you're doing great, you're so so strong. We can see the head now, shes beautiful, she has your colour hair, just keep doing what you're doing mama". Kat soon starts to feel the ring of fire and starts to close her legs "it burns, I cant take it I'm going to rip, I'm going to open, is there blood? I cant, ahhh hoo hoo hoo nghhhh".

Kats progress is phenomenal and Joe is crying because of his girlfriends strength, "you're doing so good, I'm so proud of you, not much left now, just get the head out completely and then it's nearly over and we have a daughter".

I need to move positions" Kat snaps, "Shes coming" Kat suddenly staggers onto hands and knees, this is when she gets really strong, she starts to push with all of her might. "Its stuck, I cant move it, put your fingers in and rub them around the head, she needs to come out I cant push anymore it hurts". "Ooohhh this is it, I'm going to rip, fu*k, AAAHH".

Joe encourages Kat all the can "Come on honey a few more pushes, you're going great, you're doing it come on, push! Harder! Come on Kat push like you've never pushed before, yes, yes, come on sweetheart, push harder.. HARDER".

Kat is barely catching a breath and is baring down to hard she feels like shes going to rip. "Try little pushes, like ngh ngh ngh ngh rather than nghhhhh" says Poppy "It might change things and speed up the progress". "I'm not strong enough I cant go any longer, please call an ambulance, I need help, they can cut me and ahhhhhh, f*ck I think shes coming down, nghhhh, hooo hooo hooo AAHHHH can you see her? JOE CAN YOU SEE THE SHOULDERS, AHHHHHHHHH" she takes a breath and pushes until shes red in the face "hnnnnnngggggg here she is, it's time! I'm ready. To. Pusshhhhhhh. Oh my god, fu.. AHHHHH" . "Shes here beautiful, you're a Mommy. You're amazing, you're so perfect, I love you so much" Joe cries.

[chatalyst]

Okay two questions -- one do you know a list of all the episodes I need to watch to understand what's going on? Bc I dont want to see every one bc apparently a lot of them have been v cruel to marinette and I and here for That Shit. Also question 2 is the video from your "Marinette walking into school the next day to everyone who almost got akumatized bc they didn’t believe her" post?? Can I blease get a link bc im dying skckfkfk

Okay here’s the complete list of season 3 episodes so far. I don’t really have a problem with Marinette’s portrayal mostly bc I hate reading salt about characters I like so I don’t follow/reblog/read things about that. The one that had a lot of people upset was Puppeteer 2, but once the translation came out the scene became less cringey, because it was obviously just Marinette being silly and it’s supposed to be over-dramaticized. I always take these episodes in like a super sweet coffee - I enjoy it for 20 minutes and then go home to make my own coffee with the same ingredients.

Miraculous Ladybug is a fun show for me to watch, so if I’m stressing then what am I watching it for, you know?

Here’s the link! It’s by Rickey Thompson, who has a YouTube channel that is amazing, everyone should subscribe. He’s HILARIOUS (obviously 😂)

https://youtu.be/BRKUG3AtoF4

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 16

haha remember in July when I said I was gonna answer stuff every month... yeah me neither 🙈🙈 anyways lots of stuff under the cut

Anonymous said: You should get along with other Simblrs and start a new cc group now that PTS is disbanded, your hairs and clothes are always amazing! :D

Firstly thank you! Most of the clothing in AxA is 99% ayoshi with me going in after and cleaning/adding some stuff. So I give him props for the clothes :P As far as a ‘new PTS’ style group idk, there are a lot of amazing creators on simblr but I think the reason PTS was such a special thing is because the bond they all had. I feel that when working on collabs with some of my really close friends (such as the one coming out this month with @dogsill​ and @ayoshi​) because we have known each other for over 2 years now. A group of friends built only for collabing purposes would be more of a hassle than an enjoyment imo. <3

Anonymous said: HELLLOOOO! just curious bc why not but what is your favorite creation that you have made??

It varies every month to be honest lmao. If you asked me to pick a favorite hair from each month? Easy, always the last release of the month. But favorite hair ever? Awwww shucks 🤠 lmao I would say my Madison Hair is one of my favorite hair releases, I am planning to revamp it soon to work with my Mia ombre accessories and tidy the mesh up some. 

Anonymous said: hello, when will this collection be free for public download please? /post/186706149526/patreon-08-19

That came out in August luv, go to my downloads page and click AxA 2019

Anonymous said: Hi! Idk if you do wcif!!!! But if you do, wcif the freckles on the girl with the short hair on the BOP AHOOB collab?? If you know! Thank you much in advance!!!!!

Hey! You’ll need to send Bowl-Of-Plumbobs a message for that WCIF, that was his Sim otherwise I would link you. Sorry hun

@lumalinrose-sims​ said: Not a question, but you are like so cool I can't even--

thank you lmao I appreciate it, your profile pic it pretty cool :P

@ang3lba3 said: sarah is so pretty!!! is there a way to download how she looks in its entirety, or no? (sorry if this is a silly question im pretty new to the sims) 

not silly don’t worry :P the Sarah hair is for download on the post, the sim can be downloaded here but she is a bit outdated as I have changed her somewhat since then. 

Anonymous said: Hihi just stopping by to tell you how much I love your hairs!!

thank you so much! I appreciate the love<3

Anonymous said: hi! i just wanted to say that i love your cc so much i and always look forward to your posts! you make the cutest cc ever and honestly you're probably my favorite cc maker. you also seem like such a chill and genuine person we truly stan.

fgvhbjn thank you lmao I am literally TOO CHILL irl lmao I let people run over me so much but it’s whatever. Thank you again for the super sweet message. Have a great day if you’re reading this :)

Anonymous said: Heeeey we have the same name

Austin club :P great name til you’re trying to sign something and it looks awful (at least for me I can’t do my signature for shit)

Anonymous said: the collab with bop is so boring and dull it’s drier than a cracker it’s a no from me

well not everything is going to be someones cup of tea lmao I’m sure there is someone that enjoys it which counters you’re negative view <3

Anonymous said: Hi I love your cc! I have almost all of it in my game and I love your tropical punch palette so much I was wondering if you would ever consider releasing the palette.

If I ever make an ombre accessory tutorial video I will release a set of actions for the palette. If you wanna use the palette feel free to grab the hex codes from S4S.

Anonymous said: How did you become a ea game changer? Was it through Tumblr or youtube?

About a year ago SimGuruKate was the community manager and had applications for Tumblr Game Changers, I applied and got accepted. Follow SimGuruFrost on Twitter to stay up to date on when new applications are open.

Anonymous said: Are you going to upload the hair you made on your livestream? I literally love your work and am a Patreon subscriber!!!

Hey! The hair will be in my October voting (I think) and if it wins, release will be November. If it doesn’t win I will put it in November voting and so forth til it wins. Also thank you for watching the stream and supporting me on Patreon 

Anonymous said: hello!! i just wanted to see if knew is there’s anyway i can save my cc and save files somehow where i can download them again if my computer breaks so i don’t have to download it all again.?

zip your Sims 4 folder and upload it to Google Drive/SimsFileShare/OneDrive. Then when you install Sims 4 again you just replace the folder made in Electronic Arts in your Documents.

Anonymous said: what face do you make when your in love with a bee?

this is an old anon so I doubt they’re gonna check for this, and I can’t find the joke on Google so.... anybody know it?

Anonymous said: i love these collab sets they are honestly gifts from above

mhmm gifts from above for every collab except those in October... those are from below  👹 😳

Anonymous said: the pack is sooooo cute i love everything omg!!!! The male stuff is so adorable i can’t wait to download   

Anonymous said: you guys are the only ones i go to for packs i would love to see build buy items in the future we don’t get a lot mm stuff like that

Anonymous said:i just want to say thank you for putting in so much time and hard work and dedication to creating cc for us. i hope there's never a moment when you feel unappreciated, and i want you to know we all love you!

@primadonnaliferiseandfall​ said: all hail you and ayoshi for the cc pack its so pretty omg!!!!

Anonymous said: omg the kings have delivered!!

Anonymous said: since we got axa 2019 and 2018 will there be an axa 2020? 👀

Anonymous said: Great job on the pack! Everyone's items look gorgeous! Thank you for making this, you talented human being.

Anonymous said: ilysm! that’s all 💓💫

Anonymous said: just wanted to let you know that your content is absolutely amazing and i love it all :) sending love from the uk👍

Anonymous said: would you and ayoshi consider sharing the psds for some of the stuff in your collab? please?

thank you guys so much! Me and Ayoshi were super super happy with the AxA 2019 release and we are so happy with how many people have liked it. AxA 2020 will be a thing, yes. Also I have been working on PSDs that are super easy to navigate. I will get those up soon hopefully.

@graphicpickles​ said: Hey um, I dont know if you were aware of this but your discord link is broken ^^"

hey! this is super late sorry, discord link should be working now. If not: https://discord.gg/CtQR9tb

Anonymous said: Why would you include a cc hair in a preview for a cas review

because I liked the hair and wanted to use it 😗

@goddesssimmerina​ said: I just stopped by to tell you how much I LOVE your content. *_* I just went through and downloaded soooo much! xD I actually just switched to using MM hair and i'm so glad I did because I'm finding so many of you amazing creators and I thank you all sm! :*

awe thank you!! I appreciate it. Welcome to MM hair world :P

@moonbrightsims said: whats ur origin id?

AHarris00Britney

Anonymous said: how are your photos/screenshots so high quality? seriously, do you use a mod for it or idk editing? or maybe your settings?

Ultra Settings, and I use SRWE for HQ pics. 

Anonymous said: if you don’t answer this ask you’re straight

It has been answered. I am no longer straight. Was a hard two months not answering this 😔😔😔

Anonymous said: Hi, would you mind teaching us how you make the LoDs of your hairs? I opened one of them in S4S and found out your LoDs are great looking. I use decimate tool in blender and they look really bad.

I edge split everything before I decimate in Blender, I also delete the hairline and extrude the mesh inside the head before decimating as well. Really confusing to explain in words sorry. Might make a tutorial.

Anonymous said: omg ur cc finds blog has apink namjoo as icon and header. i'm.. sCREAMING. austin knows royalty

yes ma’am now where is the comeback

- it was at this point I realized I have caught up with my last asks post and have answered 4 things over again from Asks 15. Well... I guess that’s it folks

see yall in asks 17 in 2 months.... maybe the end of October idk

[jawnjendes]

shawn meets... | bella

SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)

AN: hiiii this is somewhat of a continuation of my last series, goth gf. you dont HAVE to read it to know what's happening here, but there will be references to it every so often. if you've been here since the goth gf days then, hi. i appreciate you. enjoy this shit. let me know ur thots.

****let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

bella's origin story | bella's playlist | masterlist

It felt awfully strange to be in Annalise's hometown, knowing she wouldn't be going home right away. The residential part of North Hollywood where her parents lived still felt like it was a million miles away. The glamorous Lyft Lux was going through the equally glamorous parts of the city, and it was almost mundane despite the fact that she had been away for over a year.

Shawn and his younger sister, Aaliyah, were frequently pointing out the exciting things they had only seen in photos and movies: the Chinese Theater, the Walk of Fame, the Hollywood sign. They were bundles of energy and excitement. Annalise was only jittery because she never fully processed that she lives in the same city as her favorite YouTuber, Bella Santiago.

Over a month ago, Bella discovered the Shawn Mendes profile on Spotify, causing her to give him a shoutout on Twitter. Then, just after the release of his newest EP, In My Blood, Bella messaged Shawn, offering to fly him out to LA, put him in a hotel and make a video with her. Shawn immediately jumped at the chance, but he couldn't go without bringing two of the biggest Bella stans he knew, Annalise and Aaliyah. The only reason why it took until the New Year for this to happen was simple: exams and Christmas.

When the semester ended, Annalise spent the holidays and her 22nd birthday with Shawn's family in Pickering, much to her own family's disdain. It was different, celebrating Christmas on the morning of the 25th, rather than the 24th. It was also different not eating tamales or pozole like she did with her family. It totally wasn't annoying when Shawn blasted that god awful Taylor Swift song on the morning of Annalise's birthday. She totally didn't miss her family either.

She had to promise her parents that she would stay in LA for the duration of the holiday break in return for missing all the important holidays. It wasn't a hard decision to make, but it was going to be hard letting Shawn go. Annalise only hoped that there would be time for him to meet her extended family during this trip. From what she understood, as soon as Bella was done with him, Shawn and Aaliyah were getting on a plane straight back to Toronto.

As it turns out, Bella Santiago is insanely generous. She reserved the three of them a deluxe suite at the Marriott. They had a view of the city, a massive king size bed, and a pull out sofa bed. Everything was spotless, and luxurious.

"She didn't have to go this hard," Aaliyah pointed out as she tossed her suitcase to the side.

"What, would you rather sleep on the floor?" Shawn teased. "And pick that up and move it so it's out of the way!"

She rolled her eyes as she did what he said.

Annalise made herself comfortable on top of the white sheets. While all of this was exciting, she was fucking exhausted. It felt like it was much later in the day, having gotten up at seven. The time change made it feel like it was well in the afternoon, but it was barely eleven.

"How's your tummy?" Shawn asked from the window. He had his phone out and was taking photos of the view.

"Much better," she replied.

Against her better judgment, Annalise had a coffee during the five hour flight, and it did not agree with her. She made good friends with a barf bag… or three. All the caffeine must have left her system if she was feeling better now.

"What time do we meet Bella?" asked Aaliyah, padding over to stand by her brother.

"Three o'clock," Shawn replied. "In the ballroom downstairs."

That prompted all three of them to take a death nap for the time being. It only lasted about three hours, and when their alarms went off, none of them felt any more rested.

Annalise was the first one to actually get up and get ready. For once, she was intimidated by who she was going to be standing in front of today. She had to look her best, even if it was in all black.

It didn't take long for Aaliyah to follow suit. Soon enough, both girls were sitting in front of the window, using the California sun for their light as they did their makeup.

The funny thing is, as much as they cared about looking their best, neither of them were going to be in Bella's video. She only wanted Shawn, who was still lying in bed half an hour before the scheduled meet up.

"What are you gonna wear?" Annalise asked her boyfriend.

"I don't know," he replied, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Will she even care about what I'm wearing?"

"You're gonna be on her channel," Aaliyah said, looking up from her handheld mirror, "which has millions of viewers, including some of my friends who will never let me hear the end of it if they see my brother looking like a clown in front of the queen!"

Shawn grinned and got up. "I'll go like this, what do you think?" He held his arms out, showcasing his plaid pajama bottoms and a Nike hoodie. He also only had one sock on.

"You'll be dead before you step out of the room like that," Ann darkly added.

“Thanks Satan.” He chuckled.

Shawn was only pretending to be calm. Inside, he was shaking and his insides were heavy. He didn't even think about Bella's subscriber count until Aaliyah pointed it out. He really wanted Bella to like him too. She seemed like such a sweetheart from her videos, Shawn hoped that wasn't just a persona.

He had spent most of the flight watching her videos (when Ann wasn’t puking up her caffeine, of course.) He made it through a few tutorials, learning a lot about not only makeup, but Bella herself. She suffers from several anxiety disorders and constantly works to better herself. She left her parents when she came out to them as bisexual, and she hasn't spoke to them or her extended family in years. She recently got out of a relationship with another YouTuber named Ethan Nestor, which was part of the reason why she spent half of 2019 in her hometown of Palm Springs. This woman has some thick skin, there was no denying that.

One of the best things that Shawn learned about Bella was that she had a butterfly tattoo on her left arm. In another video, she talked about how her viewers drew butterflies on their arms in support of her when she was down. She got it tattooed for them, and the colors of the wings were the same as the bisexual pride flag. Shawn looked at his own butterfly tattoo differently now.

The other best thing he learned was how talented of a singer Bella was. She had covers on her channel, and Shawn watched every single one. Bella had such a rich, beautiful voice, and it looked so easy for her to hit any high note. She sang Love on the Brain without any strain on her face. She sang a gayer version of You Belong with Me, and played guitar with it. She sang with Markiplier as the opening act when they were on a comedy show tour in 2018.

Shawn couldn't wait to sing with her, though he was intimidated. He thought he was a good singer, but put him next to someone with Ariana Grande levels of talent? The nerves were never ending.

It was ten til three when everyone was ready. Their only predicament was to go down to the ballroom early or not.

“Did she text you?” Aaliyah asked, clearly antsy. “Is she on her way or anything?”

Shawn shook his head. He had changed into a white tee, black jeans and a denim jacket, which the two girls approved of. “Should I message her? Or… her manager? She’s the one who made all these arrangements.”

“Hey, she might not even be here on time,” Ann said. “YouTubers are like celebrities. They run on their own schedules just because they can.”

“Bella wouldn’t do that, would she?” Aaliyah said in disbelief.

“Only one way to find out.”

And to the ballroom they went. The space was huge, clearly meant for a party. There were sheer white curtains hanging from the huge windows, and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. In the far corner of the room, tables and chairs were folded and leaning against the wall. Shawn, Aaliyah, and Ann looked around the room, all silently nervous and excited. Only a few minutes into it, they heard female voices just outside the room.

“But we’re always early! I knew I should have driven myself!”

“It’s two fifty-nine! Relax, they’re probably not even here yet!”

“Huh, I’ll be damned,” Ann mumbled, looking at her phone to verify the time.

The owners of the other two voices entered the room, carrying expensive-looking camera equipment and studio lights. They were followed by a bellhop, who was carrying a keyboard in a case. One woman was short and curvy, brown and freckled. Her short black hair was curly and glossed down, and she was wearing a bright red pantsuit.

The other woman was long and lean, decked out in a white long sleeve crop top, a black skirt, and knee high boots. Her iconic bright pink hair made a comeback, that wasn’t in her latest video. Her kind face looked airbrushed and flawless, although her brown eyes looked alarmed, like she was caught in headlights.

The first person to break the silence was the woman in red, already establishing her power. “Hello!” She held her hand out to Shawn. “I’m Sonji, I’m Bella’s manager. I believe we spoke on the phone. And on Twitter.”

“Yeah, yeah we did,” he said as they shook hands. “Uh, this Aaliyah and Ann, my sister and my girlfriend.”

“Hi, ladies!” Sonji greeted, shaking their hands as well. “So lovely to meet you! God, you’re all so pretty!”

Both girls mumbled shy thank you’s.

“Okay, so my handsome friend here and myself are going to set things up for the video,” Sonji explained. “In the meantime-” She looked at her silent client. “-Baller, come talk to your little protégé.”

Then, Sonji led the bellhop further into the room, over by the windows.

Bella still had a bag slung over her shoulder and a massive studio light stand in her hands. She was clutching it to her chest, a very performative and awkward smile etched on her bright pink lips.

“Hi!” she said after one very long second. “Uh - lemme -” She set down the giant lights and removed the bag from her shoulder. Then she stood up straight and smoothed out her hair. “Hi! Uh, I said that already!”

“I’ll say it again! Hi!” Shawn greeted, smiling politely.

Bella looked at him and opened her arms for a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”

It might be weird to put it this way, but she smelled pretty. Whatever perfume she was wearing was probably more expensive than the flight over here. Shawn hugged her around her shoulders, inadvertently touching her surprisingly soft hair. You could just tell that she didn’t spare a single penny when it came to caring for herself.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to be so tall!” she said, looking up at Shawn. “For once, I’m not the tallest person in the room!”

She couldn’t have been taller than Ann, who was five foot five inches and felt very short most of the time.

“And this is the sister and the girlfriend?” Bella said, turning to the other two girls. She went to hug Aaliyah, who was more than delighted by the gesture.

Bella leaned back and took her hand. “I love your nails! Love the shape and color!” She ran her thumb over the white acrylics. “So cute!”

“Aw, thank you!” Aaliyah was beaming.

Then, Bella turned to hug Ann. It’s important to point out that in most situations, Annalise Flores is stone faced, calm, and collected. Today, however, Ann had wide eyes, like she was face the good Lord herself… like she was going to drop down on one knee and propose to Bella.

Shawn wouldn’t blame her.

“Me encanta su delineador!” Bella told her, gently cupping her face.

“En serio?” Ann softly asked.

“Yes, que linda! Those inner wings are to die for! What do you use?”

“Um.. uh, I think it’s NYX? I don’t know the exact one, but it’s definitely NYX!” Ann chuckled nervously.

“Well, it looks amazing!”

Ann looked like she was going to faint with that euphoric dazed look on her face. Thankfully, she stayed on both feet because Sonji grabbed their attention. She managed to sneak by Bella, take the lights and bag, and set them all up by the window. She also set up the keyboard, camera and two chairs. There were three other chairs behind the camera as well. Sonji was incredibly fast.

“We are all ready to go!” she said to the others.

“Shall we?” Bella gestured for the other three to go first.

Shawn, Ann, and Aaliyah went over to the set up, excitement only increasing from here.

"Were you two going to be in the video too?" Sonji asked the two girls.

They both shook their heads.

"Nervous? Don't blame you, the Internet is brutal."

That didn't help Shawn's bundle of nerves. He took a silent deep breath as he went for his guitar case while Bella sat in front of her keyboard. The Internet is brutal, and Shawn's own minuscule corner of it was safe solely because of the size. The fans he tweeted every so often were seemingly normal, and no one was overly critical about him or his music. More exposure means more space for criticism and plain old hate.

Bella had over five million subscribers, and at least forty thousand of them took an interest in Shawn over the last month and a half. It was a lot of new people to make a good impression to. He took another deep breath and removed the guitar from its case. There's no going back now.

"So, I don't want this to be a structured, planned out video," Bella explained when Shawn took the empty chair next to her. "I just want us to talk so my viewers can get to know you, and we'll sing whatever comes to mind."

"Sounds good," Shawn said, not really hearing himself.

"Now everybody - and I mean everybody - take in a deep breath."

The room was silent except for the sounds of everyone inhaling through their noses. Aaliyah and Ann still looked excited as they followed Bella's instruction. Sonji followed as well, like she had done this a thousand times.

"And exhale," Bella breathed out, and the others repeated. "Good. Get those nerves out, breathe away the anxiety. This is fun, we're having fun."

Shawn felt a little better, knowing she was just as nervous, if not more. Throughout all of Bella's mental health videos that he watched on the plane, none of them seemed to touch on how severe her own case was.

Finally, Bella addressed the camera, her soft voice suddenly projected. "Hey, it's Bella! Welcome back to my channel! Today, I'm here with a very special guest! Some of you saw me tweet a while ago…"

Oh god, what the fuck was Shawn going to say? He looked over at Ann, who smiled reassuringly and silently did the motions for deep breathing. Stay calm. You're a strong guy.

"So how long have you been making music?" Bella asked him as she mindlessly pressed keys on her keyboard.

Shawn recalled as best he could. "Uh, I sang covers when I was fifteen. Didn't make my own music until a few years later."

"Nice! Are you in school, or work or something?"

"Yeah, I'm in college. I'm majoring in music and botany."

"Oh, you like plants?"

Shawn was mildly impressed. Most people had to ask what botany is, and he would have to explain for the thousandth time. Then, he would be told to drop the music major because it's easier to find a job in plant science.

"Flowers," he clarified. "I work in a flower shop."

"That's so cool!"

The conversation got easier as time went on. Sometimes Aaliyah or Ann would chime in if they felt that Shawn was getting too confident. Bella giggled every so often, which made everyone in the room adore her even more.

Shawn was about ready to propose when Bella started playing Mercy on her keyboard and humming the beginning. He stared at her in shock for a few seconds before he played along on guitar. Hopefully that didn't look too embarrassing on camera. He listened to her voice for a moment before singing with her in the chorus.

He had plenty of questions for Bella after they went through that song. "Where did you get a voice like that?"

"I could carry a tune as a kid," she explained, "so I was put into singing classes to hone it. Then I did church choir, school choir… I just never really stopped singing." She paused and then chuckled nervously. "This is gonna sound pretentious, but I think I got this voice for a reason. Meaning, I have this platform and all these followers. I think I'm meant to use my voice for good. Help people in whatever way I can."

Shawn smiled. "That's beautiful. I see that in your videos. I kinda went on a binge on the plane."

Bella grinned.

"One thing that stood out to me…" Shawn hesitated, minding the camera and the future viewers of this video. "You are so unapologetically bisexual. You always make the point to the person you needed as a kid, because there is still so little bi representation in the media. And you decided, if no one's going to do it, then you'll do it yourself, and I think that's incredible."

"Yeah, I didn't have anyone telling me it's okay to feel what I feel, and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through as a teen."

Shawn nodded, glancing over at Ann once. He had talked about touching on this particular topic with her, and he was starting to have his own shred of doubt.

But, he learned from his girlfriend. Fuck it.

"I wish I had someone like you as a teenager," he said to Bella, strumming his guitar. "I mean, when I came out to my family, I was lucky. They were loving and accepting, but I still couldn't find anyone out there who was like me, in real life or in the media. I really wish I had found your videos sooner."

Bella was beaming. "I knew I liked you."

The two of them went back and forth between talking and singing. They compared butterfly tattoos, and then Bella was asking him about his other tats. Shawn learned a couple of Little Mix songs too, which led him to discover where his girlfriend got that fixation from. He was mostly amazed at how Bella was able to belt out song after song like it was nothing. Like she was meant for this. Why did she choose to be a makeup artist?

"Have you ever been offered a record deal?" Shawn asked. "Or thought about making your own music?"

"Mm, yes and yes," she said. "But singing is more of a hobby. I can't see myself delving into the music industry at all. Makeup is where it's at for me. Makeup got me through some of the hardest times in my life."

Shawn wouldn't say no to a record deal. He'd move to Los Angeles tomorrow if he could. He would do just about anything to play music full time. He glanced over at Ann again, who winked with a smile.

next chapter

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @justordinaryjen @chillingbythesea @iloveshawnieboi @shawnsunflower @someoneunimportantxx

[omegawizardposting]

dragondrawsdragons replied to your post: marvellousaxolotl replied to your post: ...

Caff was kicked for some pretty serious allegations that i dont fully remember but def bad. Turps had to step down from CEO and I think he left, because he was flirting with people when he shouldnt have in such a position of power. They decided to reopen investigations on sjin from yeeaars ago seeing as their standards have changed, but we don’t know the deal with sjin and likely wont for a while.

I feel really bad for e-celebs, because, at least in the case of Turps, the guy was just flirting like a normal person--but that’s not allowed, because he’s “in a position of power.” Like, man, a dude just wants to hook up, have some fun, maybe find a permanent partner, and he can’t without everyone thinking, “Well it must have been manipulation.”

This is why we need to start treating content creators like people, both so that we feel comfortable telling them when they’ve gone too far, and so that they can subsequently engage in normal, healthy behavior with other consenting adults without suspicion falling on them.

(Unless he was fuckin’ w/ kids or actually trying to manipulate people, in which case, that’s just evil.)

From what I’ve read re: Sjin, it looks like he’s being investigated for the same reason Turps left? Iirc he was in a relationship at the time, though, so that brings cheating into the equation, if it wasn’t already in with Turps. (Idk much about him or his relationship status at the time.)

Idk, when it comes to, like, pedo stuff, it’s pretty cut-and-dry, this is a bad person, but when I see cases like what Turps’ is being described as, it just pisses me off, ‘cause people should be allowed to do normal people things regardless of how many subscribers they have on YouTube.

[uniformbravo]

me trying to make a gif part 2 (thrilling finale, buildup ver.)

ok good news and bad news: good news being withheld for Spoilers (not that it’s that hard to guess anyway lol), bad news explained first bc, chronologically, it is first

so yesterday i mentioned in the tags of that post that i had seen that krita has an animation feature so i was gonna try importing the frames into that and then exporting it as a gif. easier said than done, as it turns out

i started by opening the file i made yesterday with 62 layers as the frames and importing that into krita, which worked fine (i didn’t know you could actually open .psd files in clip stuido ((this typo is so fucking stupid it made me laugh so im leaving it)) and krita, so that’s pretty neat, i wonder if it works the other way around too) but i ran into problems when i tried to convert those layers into frames in an animation. because, like, the layout of the program has the layers displayed in one tab, and the animation timeline in another, like so:

(do u like how im using pictures now, i thought of that yesterday after i published the other post and realized hey, visual reference would probably make my plight a lot easier to understand!! so enjoy these educational diagrams from now on)

so my goal was to get the frames from the layers into the timeline, and i still don’t know if i did it right bc lbr krita is not very intuitive at all,,.,, i mean i watched a video tutorial abt how to animate in krita which was v helpful (it’s the one by jesse j james on yt fuckin SHout out) but it was about animating from scratch, not importing an animation you’ve already done elsewhere

so like, the way krita’s animation thing works, from what i could piece together as i bumbled my way around w/ it, is that each layer in the layers tab is a separate timeline in the,,, timeline tab

i want them all to be in the same timeline, not separate ones, and there’s no way to combine them in the timeline tab bc doing that just overwrites whatever layer you’re pasting it down onto, and also if you define the number of frames for that timeline (62 for this project) it just puts the single image of that layer for all of the frames instead of just one of them, so you’d have to go through and delete all the other frames you don’t want it to be, which would be such a fuckin pain

so i found a workaround, which is so tedious that it can’t be the right way to do it, but basically i started w/ layer 1 and defined 62 frames & then emptied frames 2-62, like this

(that blue box is the frame, btw, even tho it says 0, which actually kind of annoys me like why doesn’t it start the first frame on 1????)

from there i went up to layer two and selected that in the timeline, but for some reason the frame doesn’t show up automatically?

& i couldnt fuckin figure out how to make it into like, an Official Timeline Layer or whatever tf bc like, u see on layer 1 how theres that little lightbulb-looking icon on the right? that’s for turning on onion skin which only applies when you actually have frames with things drawn on them, so basically layer 2 in the layers tab has a drawing but in the timeline it doesn’t?

i didn’t find out what the actual reason for this is or how you’re /supposed/ to make the frame appear in the timeline, but what i did was right click on layer 2′s timeline & select “create blank frame” which magically made the frame i want appear

but it’s on top of the layer 1 frame, and i want it to be the frame after. also it’s still in a different timeline. this is the only easy fix in this whole damn process, u can literally just click & drag the frame from layer 2 to layer 1 and put it wherever u want on the timeline

and then u just delete layer 2 and that’s it, frame transferred!! then i just had to do that for 60 more layers and after [unspecified amount of time but it was a fuckin while ok] my timeline looked like this!

(the gaps near the end are held frames, to save me time so i didn’t have to copy a bunch of frames that were exactly the same)

krita is great because as far as i know ur animation can have an unlimited number of frames, at the risk of your own pc’s processing power, which is a definite upside to SOME expensive art programs i know (clip studio, i’m talking abt csp) and u can pick the frame rate too (cough photoshop elements 5.0 even tho u dont technically have an animation feature & it’s a miracle u can even make gifs at all) so once i finally got all the frames situated all nice and in order like on the same timeline, playing it was great! played at the right speed, looped perfectly, it was a dream come true right

well, time to export it as a gif

ha

haha

hoooo oo  o

so u got 2 options for exporting ur animation, u can either hit “export,” which lets u save it as different file types, one of which being gif, or you can hit “render,” which gives you gif and video options

well

i tried export first, bc that seemed like a good idea, but the “””gif””” it made was distinctly not a gif, despite its claim to be one?? this is what i got:

notice: 1. it is not moving, and 2. the black bars to the sides?? those are supposed to be transparent. they’re transparent in the file i made so why didn’t they register as transparent in the export, when gifs have transparency capabilities??

so That was some real live bullshit but i still had the “render” option, right? export was wrong, so rrender must be the correct option to go to that will produce the results i am wanting to see produced in front of me like a silver dinner platter with a correctly functioning gif under the lid, that’s what i want to see and “Render Animation...” is gonna Give me that silver platter righWRONG ok look at this shit rn ok Look

it says GIF it says it RIGHT THERE right??? right?????? then WHY

?????????????

and it also gave me all This bullshit

like did i ask?? did i fucking ask???? i already have all the individual frames why do i need even M o re i mfjgjgk

((rationally ok yea thats v useful for if ur making the animation in krita and want to export the frames to use elsewhere, but like uhhh 1. again, they’re not transparent & 2. i should have the option of saying i don’t want these??? bc *meme voice* i don’t want these)

so in the end i could find NO correct method of exporting animations as a gif in krita bc every ooption that says gif is fuckign LYING to ur face there are NO gifs in krita, aliens made the progam who looked at gifs and went “hmm i thikng this is how a gif works “ and just made jpegs instead but somehow got on the computers good side and got it to lie for them about it being a gif so thats why it says gif on the file still even tho its not a gif illimati confinr

so what is the conclusion to this? well i said there was good news too, and this is the portion where i divulge that sweet nectar (i type dthis 2 seconds ago and @ me what the fuck)

so after wasting a good 2 hours trying to figure out krita i gave up and watched some good old [youtuber name redacted bc what if it shows up in search & ppl see this dumbass post in there but it rhymes with fjackfsepticfeye] to relax into accepting my fate that i’ll never be able to upload my animations to tungle except in poor quality loopless video form, making me into a laughing stock on my own art blog, but THEN i had a stroke of genius, in my Brain

so if u read yesterday’s post u might remember that flipnote studio, the animation program i use on my ds, to animate, has the option to export files as gifs, both animated and sequential (meaning either as one fully animated gif or each individual frame separately), which is super convenient, but as i mentioned yesterday, any time i tried to open the folder with those files on my laptop, it crashed immediately

WELL today i thought “hey, how about instead of opening the folder in the sd card when it’s plugged in, how about i copy that folder from the sd card to my flash drive, and try to open it there, in case it’s the card’s hardware that’s causing the problem, not corrupted files”

so i tried that and it FUCKING WORKED THANK GOD GLORY HALLELUJAH

so now instead of spedning A THOUSAND YEARS trying and failing to force art programs to bend to my will i can just export the animations straight from my ds and drag them onto my computer Just As God Intended oh GOD im so fucking happy

here’s the gif in the end, i’m gonna post it to my art blog too but this is the Green Version bc i animate in green bc of some default settings in flipnote that i got used to, plus it makes me feel like i’m just sketching so nothing really has to be finalized so i’m comfortable while i work, and also it’s just nice ok it’s a Nice Green

(there’s a few frames at the end that are like the extra scraps from while i was working dw i got rid of those in the final version that i’m posting to my art blog later. also i added my blog url to that one too it’s aaaaaall good)

the only downside to this method is that i can’t change the canvas size to be 540px wide to fit with tumbrl s image dimensions but whatever i can just post them in a text post and fix the html to display it at its original size instead of the resizing bullshit tmurbl pulls constantly ugh. anyway it works great on desktop but it’s inevitably gonna look like shit on mobile no matter what i do *Big Ass Shrug*

anyway thats the end of my success story uhh i can’t make the like comment & subscribe joke again bc i already did that in the last post so like bye i guess thanks 4 watchign & have a great day i’ll see u in my next fvideo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYob4uDjEKI&t=0s

(^that’s my outro music)