#but the the that's just the shit with Steven

[lesbiandonnanoble]

S4 classic who is just different. It's just something fucking else. A different species of doctor who suddenly. When the Ben & Polly nuke hit DW it was never the same. Something gorgeous and 60s chic corrupted the DW motherboard and suddenly there is a fucking insane web of interpersonal relationships like never before on the show. There have been great tardis teams in the past don't get me wrong. I'm a big ian barbara susan head. steven and vicki don't get me talking. BUt there's something different come S4. Oh jesus. There's a little rich girl suddenly cut off from her parents' money due to her modern lifestyle working a high end PA job. And shit is going sideways in a psychotically odd way at the job and she meets a sailor on shore leave at a club but he's the opposite of that stereotype beceause he is obsessed with her and sick to his stomach over her immediately. But there's also this fuckass guy who changes their lives and makes them rely and relate to each other much much more than they would've done already but they're not really dating but they kind of are and definitely start dating at some point . and then he DIESSSS and is replaced by a less predictable more anxious more friendly version who has hit timelord young adulthood in the most whimsical way and everything is a game and so fun and yay and delightful and wheeeee. And then Polly begs to have Jamie along immediately after the doctor regenerates. Polly is so stereotypically into the shelter stray type person it's unreal. And so predictable. She runs an orphanage after she leaves the doctor it's pathological she has to be taking someone in in whatever level of actual to metaphorical sense. But I do think Jamie and her have a real real bond over being slightly psychotically inclined for the adrenaline and just craving it for various reasons .I'm just saying this because I read and listened to so much EU stuff with these guys but it's crazy too. the Adrenaline addict siblings. I think for Ben Jamie fulfills the urge to be in a crew scenario which I also think makes them a little mad at each other sometimes but they are also so forever. And Jamie beyond anything I could really say ,and I have some shit to say, wants to fuck that old man. It's operating on levels of shit not seen before, nor since until maybe 5th doctor. It is the first time on doctor who a group for a whole season is all adults which opens a bit more depth of opportunity for conflict in a really exciting way. I love fighting and wrongdoings and really noble and also really bad behaviour and dedicated but fraught relationships and I love when people get mad at each otherrrrr. 2nd doctor era EU shit is just unreal they are all doing crazy shit to each other in those. For some reason although 3rd has a great cast it is just a different structure and there is an inherently interesting element in the more fantastic whimsical stories in just how off and unsettling they are in concept and how simple and fun.. the black and white is so whimsical. And The absolute wealth of shit just glimmering rich for mining in S4 interpersonally is absurdly smileful.. I didn't even touch on anything because I'm already going too long. But I swear it's good just trust me. An incomprehensible strand of DNA has been introduced into the Doctor who Breed dog Genome. We know S4 is just special

[papermint-airplane]

✨Non-Sims Interests✨

I was tagged by @eljeebee and @living-undead.

The big ones:

✈ Horror Fiction

I kind of group all the Creepypastas, Nosleeps, SCP Foundation, miscellaneous horror fiction together under one great big umbrella but basically, if it's a spoopy story, I'm interested. That being said, my enjoyment of these things comes with a few caveats.

I'm not into splatterpunk. Miss me with that shit. That's not horror, it's just horrible.

There's a fine line between horror and comedy. If I don't vibe with/buy into a horror story, I start finding it extremely funny. My enjoyment of any given horror story could be because it's good or it could be because I find it hilarious. Your mileage will definitely vary so be very cautious of taking recs from me. Sometimes I'll slip you a bad one just for shits and giggles.

No visuals. I'm a lightweight when it comes to horror movies. I can't stand gore when I can see it. Reading about it is completely different for whatever reason.

✈ Cults and Other High-Control Religions

*looks at you looking at me* What?

Ok so, the not fun answer is that I basically grew up in a cult and leaving that religion and belief system behind has been a huge struggle for my entire adult life. Even before I was an adult, if I'm being honest. I find it easier at this stage in my deprogramming to make sense of what I went through by listening to the stories of others who have left cults or high-control religions and finding common ground with them. What you don't realize until you've listened to survivor accounts and read books from people like Steven Hassan or Janja Lalich is that, no matter what the belief system claims to be, all of these organizations are exactly the same underneath the different paint jobs. Learning to spot the similarities is an incredibly useful tool not only for avoiding falling into a cult yourself, but for honing your critical thinking skills in general.

The fun answer? Something something starting a cult in the Sims. I don't know what you want from me.

✈ Fashion Dolls

Would you like a neck brace for the whiplash?

I grew up with Barbie and I collect them now as well as several other fashion dolls. I don't collect everything in a specific doll line, rather I just collect dolls I think are pretty or have cool designs or gimmicks. As a result, my collection isn't very big but it means a lot to me anyway. I can and will talk at length about which doll hair types are the best and how to properly take care of it.

✈ Kpop Girl Groups

I've been listening to Kpop since 2009. I used to be more into boy groups like Shinee and BTS from the No More Dream to Not Today eras but I'm all about the girlies these days. My current ults are Ive, NMIXX, Aespa, and Le Sserafim. Yes, I'm too old for Kpop. No, I don't care.

✈ YouTube

By "I'm interested in YouTube", I don't mean I watch a lot of YouTube. I mean, I do because I don't have cable or any subscription services anymore, but what I really mean is that I know all of the YouTube drama, am way too invested in certain creators' content, and can do an hour-long TED talk on any given YouTubers' scandals with no preparation. I am not a proud woman. This shit is like crack to me.

And yes, before you ask, I do watch CreepCast every Sunday.

I am tagging @nitetrait, @necile, @happy-lemon, @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants, and @silwermoon-sims

[immadatdisney2]

Okay what r ur modern hcs for Vat7k or TTS?

*cracks knuckles* okay, get ready for this >:3 (also, let it be known I have more but I'm limiting myself 😔)

This one's basic but beautiful but Hugo has a motorcycle and yes he made it himself, it is his pride and joy

Donnie is Hugo's foster mom and depending on the au she's either sweet Momella who finds him as a fucked up kid, fosters him and adopts him juuuuuuuuuuuust before he turns eighteen, Blitz style (but if she's a mean Bitchella she fosters him for the government paycheck and treats him like shit)

Yong is OBSESSED with Steven Universe, will light up when someone asks him about it and has been making fanart for it since he was like eight or stm

Hugo wears chunky doc Martin's and ONLY dov Martin's (they're dected out with charms and stuff, this is me projecting) which pisses Varian off cause it only makes this bitch taller

Rapunzel became an art teacher and she makes murals with her students throughout the school (but she's annoyed they make here wear shoes there lol, she wears those weird barefoot ones)

Varian was in juvie and this is probably where he met Hugo

Nuru looooooooooooooooove crocheting, and her ultimate show of love is making you a personalized sweater (it took her a while to make one for Hugo and the first one was made with purposefully itchy yarn. Yong on the other hand has dozens of them)

Hector once sneaked Varian aside at a family party when he was like 16 or stm to teach him how to do shots right but got mad when Varian actually liked it and said "No! You're too young for this go have some apple juice!"

Hugo either dresses grundge and like he couldn't give a fuck or like a total dramatic slut (the first one is me projecting again)

Nuru hates having to take care of her natural hair (despite loving how much it looks) so she usually wears it in braids or her favorite, those star puffs hair extentions that I saw on YouTube that one time (someone pls now what I'm talking about)

Kiera is a sickass softball player (loves threatening people with her metal bat) and Cat does it with her but it isn't her favorite lol (Oh and they both play viola cause ✨️projecting✨️

Hugo's glasses are taped together cause he's clumsy but refuses to pay for new frames (those cost so fucking much dude-)

Varian likes to doodle on his sneaker and Ying does it too because he wants to be like his big brother and sometimes they doodle on eachothers shoes <3

Hugo pireced his own ears, did his only needle-poke tattoos and is basically just DIY or die

Yong uses his adorable dumpling-ness to get away with shit but his true colors are LITERAL SPAWN FROM HELL (trust me, all twelve year old are)

Because of all his experience with chemistry, Varian is one helluva bartender

THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE RN!!! Hugo at some point was enlisted in the army (in my eyes to try and get away from Donella) and it leave him even more traumatized and it either goes a) dishonorable discharge for smt like stealing, idk OR b) he gets his arm blow off from a grenade or it has to be amputated cause he got shit or something so he leaves with a metal of honor, some dog tags he never take off and ✨️trauma✨️

Varian is actually pretty popular in highschool/collage but never goes out and Hugo is always at every party but just sits in the corner getting stoned

When Varian came out (to Eugene first, cause his crush on Hugo slipped out) Eugene makes an entire presentation on why being bi is AWSOME, but WHY HUGO!?!?!?!

Nuru lives wearing super pretty gold eyeliner and makeup and sometimes she and Hugo will do makeovers <3

Hugo faced a lot of homophobia in service so he struggled with it when he got out (especially the genderfluid part) :(((

Amber's has the kost subtle or southern accents and Nuru loves it, and she can make the BEST peach cobbler since she grew up in Gerogia <3<3<3 (like Nuru cires tears of joy everytime she makes it)

Hugo at some point was a pretty heavy smoker/stoner (man ALL my modern hc of him so far are angsty.... dang) but Varian always hated it and forced him to quit by saying "I'm not gonna kiss you anymore, that smoke tastes like shit!" (That saying, there first kiss was Hugo shotgunning him at Varians one and only collage party based on an amazing fic I read <3)

Ummmmmm happiesh Hugo thing! He loves playing the violin, it's one of his favorite things especially when he gets to play with Varian and bully Kiera & Cat for playing the viola

Every year, team radical goes to the amusement park as a summer tradition and every year, Hugo gets sick on the roller-coaster but goes anyway because Var lives them. Nuru gets her face painted while amber wins a bunch of stupid prizes for her and Yong gets lost on purpose to scare the gang

Somone BETTER ask me this again cause this is really long and my fingers hurt so I'm leaving it here for now, do with is what you will~

-ImMadAtDisney <3

[threegoldfish]

¿Qué deseas?, not-his-Jake asks, No hay interrupciones esta vez, he adds. And Marc doesn't know how he's even supposed to give an answer to all of that when the other is doing those things to him - remains being a damn tease with those spoken words that have no right to be so fucking hot while he helps to undo his tie, opens the first button of his shirt, tantalizing, alluring---

Kisses him, on the mouth. Touches his naked chest with equally as naked digits while the ones on his jawline remain wrapped in leather. Causes lips to part and gasps to escape Marc as that kiss deepens, certainly lacking of anything shy, tasting him and exploring in ways that leaves no doubt to his intentions; Fuck, Marc's so turned on already that he can feel a boiling shiver running along his spine, a grunt being exhaled through his nostrils as his own hand digs a bit more forcefully into that thigh, the other hand finding its way to the newly acquired space previously hidden by a now opened collar.

Jake's burning beneath his fingertips, and it causes saliva to pool under Marc's tongue.

¿Qué deseas?, that question repeats itself inside his mind and Marc takes a sharp breath through his nose, their mouths separated again, with the other waiting, expecting an answer this time. Their eyes meet, dark brown lingering on equally as dark brown, so similar to Marc's own and yet so utterly different.

He knows that his-Jake is okay with this, getting off on it even, that narcissistic pervert. Steven's on board as well, he trusts his partner to tell him the truth in that regard; Part of Marc wonders what not-his-Jake's Marc and Steven would say if they knew...

That doesn't matter, though, because it ain't his problem, should the other Jake get in trouble because of this at any point. It is about them both for now, and not-his-Jake is old (and wise... -ish) enough to make decisions on his own. Marc's smirk returns, a little unsteady, very much affected, but cheeky and certainly eager, followed by a tongue that licks over his own lips...

"Shit." A breathy chuckle, an exhale of air, gaze flicking back down to those gorgeous, plush lips in front of him. "¿Aún no puedes decir lo que quiero? --- Y yo que pensaba que ya estaba lo suficientemente desesperada como para hacerlo obvio…" ---A tease, because he knows what this is about: Consent. Jake wants to know, he needs to get that confirmation, and he will get it.

It's important to Marc as well, after all. So that playful expression fades a bit, leaves space for something much more serious, eager, a little spicy...

"Te deseo, hermoso. ... Quiero esto, todo lo que pueda llegar a ser."

Marc's just a man, and fuck yeah, he's ready to experience this.

Oh, there's a hell of a lot more he can do with his mouth besides talk-- not that he plans to stop yapping anytime soon. Jake's a man of words about as much as actions, especially when both are having the desired effect. The way Marc hisses and shifts under touch, letting Jake do whatever he wants while reaching out for more. Loves the hand digging into his thigh, the one tantalizingly close to his throat as he struggles with the tie knot. There's a spark of something, knowing that he wouldn't let anyone else touch him somewhere so vulnerable.

Anyway, the sound he got out of Marc is probably the hottest thing ever, which means he had no regrets. He's practically giggling, "Yeah, I'm a fucker alright." He finally moves his hand out of Marc's hair and down to his tie, helping to fully undo the knot and the leave it open around his neck, along with the top button of his dress shirt. "Good news for you, huh? Sounds like that's just what you need."

It kind-of had been an important question to know how far Marc wanted to go with this, but he did trust Marc to say something if he didn't want to go all the way-- or if his real partners were getting jealous. It'd be kind of sad, but Jake would stop here and give the other two a nice and worked-up Marc to play with in their mindscape or however-the-hell it worked between them. He'd made far greater sacrifices for Marc, and he'd continue to make more. (He could just take care of himself in the bathroom or something.)

He didn't know if that's what would happen or not, but there is at least one more thing Jake wanted to take for himself. He reaches up again to cup Marc's jaw with his gloved hand, kissing him on the mouth. It's not shy or chaste-- Jake can taste the whiskey they've been drinking. His other hand is still up Marc's shirt, laying over the center of his chest where his heart is.

It'd be so easy to just keep making-out with Marc for the next fuckin' twenty minutes, but he pulls away. "¿Qué deseas?" He asks, voice throaty with want. "No hay interrupciones esta vez."

[dameronalone]

The post you just reblogged about infantilizing autistic characters and specifically Steven Grant is actually one of my favorite things ever and I wished people talked about it more. I remember watching MK when it first came out and seeing Steven and being like omg he’s just like me!! because a lot of the times I don’t really connect with autistic characters for one reason or another but seeing Steven and seeing him have the same mannerisms and characteristics as me was so so wonderful and the fandom was great at first and it seems like the more time passes and the farther we get from when the show stopped having new episodes, he gets characterized so differently than how he was in the show. Like yeah he was awkward and unsure around Layla but also look at the circumstances!! Everyone’s turned him into an uwu baby child and forget that he got angry and he was smart and he was brave and he was an adult man and not a child regardless of him being autistic. Idk, I just really liked that post and I was so glad to see someone on the same page as me and I wanted to share my thoughts lmao

dearest anon you are more than welcome to come in my inbox and talk abt Steven, autism, and how irritating fandom ableism is, because I'm always ready to talk about any of it. I'm glad that you felt seen by my frustration! a lot of times I'll mention it or even post about it and it's like yelling into the void

I think the wonderful thing about Steven is that he feels so authentically autistic, him and Marc both (and im assuming Jake as well, but it's just too soon to tell in which ways he will experience/be visibly autistic) and I think that's both the uprising and the downfall of it because in not using the word "autistic" in the show it paves the way both for genuine connection AND the surface level ableist "aw steven" mentality we see a lot now

i was watching the first two episodes the other day, mostly because I'm rewatching for Steven- an aside, but fandom had honestly put me off Steven. ofc I loved him so much but I couldn't truly connect because the (imho) accurate Steven that I liked to think about and analyze is NOT the Steven we see in 98% of fanfiction or tumblr posts. but anyway I was watching the first two episodes and I gotta say, for as much nervous stuttering as he does in fanfiction, he really- listen I think he does a reasonable amount of nervous stuttering when he is IN truly stressful situations that have him completely off kilter.

you can't really script your way out of a conversation with a creepy guy trying to tell you abt his lord and savior ammit the croc

anyway. all this to say, I completely understand where you're coming from and I'm really glad you felt seen in my own frustration. it's always validating to see someone else verbalizing a deep rooted but glossed over issue that bothers you

just!! reiterating your point!! he's knowledgeable!!! he's angry!!! he's incredibly brave!!!! he's not afraid to stand up to Marc or khonshu or harrow or anybody!!!! he's an adult man with a job and a place to live!!! that doesn't make him any better or worse than someone who may not have a job BUT people just love to turn autistic ppl into helpless little uwu babies and its SO obnoxious and irritating and insulting. he IS capable!! Steven is SASSY he is a BITCH he fantasizes about killing his boss!!!!! he bargined the world for marc (and his) freedom!!!! hello?????

steven would not like the majority of the people who claim to like him..

at any rate lmao. my inbox is always open!! happy to talk 🫶

[sp0o0kylights]

Grass is green, water is wet, and Jonathan Byers does not like Steve Harrington.

These are known facts in the universe.

Computers were going to take over the world, a “mobile” phone was being invented, and Steve Harrington had lost most of his hearing.

These were unknown facts--rumors even, if you will. Eddie had never seen even a grain of truth to support any of them.��

(Well, maybe the computer thing, but only because Grant and Dustin both had made a couple of convincing arguments.) 

So he doesn’t think about it, when his freshman gang up on him. 

Doesn’t even factor the “can’t hear well” thing in, when he was tasked (demanded, whined, bitched and moaned at) with helping them explain to Steve why going to the release party of the new D&D box set, located at a hobby store only a mere 2 hour drive away, was important.

Eddie’s not even sure how the little shits got him to agree to do it until he’s standing in the parking lot in front of the former King himself. 

“The store’s leading up to the release with a handful of one-shots.” He’s explaining, unsure whether to pull out the bored act or play up his court jester persona, and thus mixing and matching on the fly. 

He does not care if Harrington doesn’t know what a one-shot is. 

“They’re releasing the set at midnight. You have to be there to get it though, you can’t have someone else pick it up for you because they only got a certain amount in.” 

Harrington’s frowning (no surprise) but it’s not until Eddie is well into his spiel about how his van is already full with the elder members of Hellfire, and thus has no room for the freshmen, that he realizes Steve isn’t quite looking at him. 

Is in fact, looking over his shoulder.

Eddie stops. Follows Harrington’s gaze.

Parked across from Steve’s Beemer, is Jonathan Byer’s barely working clunker car. 

A handful of steps in front of it, and thus nearly right behind Eddie, is the man himself.

His hands are still moving, mouth shaping words silent as he goes, his gaze locked not on Eddie or the kids--but on Steve. 

Who turns back around as Harrington’s eyes slide right back to him. 

“And this is taking place next Friday?” He says, in that sort of annoyed but resigned way parents aim at their children. “After school?” 

“I’d like to go during  school, but the freshmen insist you wouldn’t let them ditch out.” Eddie tells him. “They had two separate arguments about it.” 

Loud ones, that had interrupted the game and given Eddie a migraine. 

Once again Steve’s eyes slide away from him, to Jonathan. 

“They’re not skipping school.” He says suddenly, a glare forming and Jonathan makes an annoyed noise. 

“They argued about skipping, they’re not going to.” He says aloud, and finally steps up so that he’s next to Eddie instead of behind him. 

“Munson slow down, I can’t sign as fast as you’re talking.” He adds, in the hang-dog grumble he’s notorious for. 

Eddie stares at him. 

“Can he seriously not hear me?” 

“No.” Steve and Jonathan answer together. 

“I can kind of still hear,” Steve adds, gaze returning to Eddie’s face. “But its more loud music or noises. I can lip read, but you’re also talking too fast for that.” 

Without pausing, he turns back to Jonathan and says; “Why can’t you take them?”

“It’s Friday.” Byers deadpans. 

Eddie’s not an expert on sign language, but his hands somehow looked deadpan too. 

He’s not sure how Jonathan did that. 

“So?” Steve snarks back. 

What follows is an argument that Eddie is not, at all involved in, mostly because he’s too busy handling the fact that Jonathan Byers has learned sign language, for Steve Harrington, apparently, and given the tone the argument is taking they still don’t even like each other.  

Eventually the argument ends, Steve throwing his hands in the air and demanding that Jonathan owes him. 

(Eventually Eddie will corner the ever so quiet Will Byers and ask why the hell his brother learned sign language for someone he clearly fucking hates.

“Oh they don’t hate each other.” Baby Byers would say, in that shy, quiet way of his. “I think they’re actually friends now?” 

“You think?”

“Well--you’ve seen them.” Will shrugs. “I think being mean to each other is kinda their thing.” 

‘What the hell.’ Eddie would think, right up until he stumbled across one of the kids sign language books. 

Byers the Elder, he decides, isn’t the only person who should learn sign language to chew out Harrington properly.

The pay off is immediate. 

Or at least, the pay off of watching Steve’s shocked face the first time Eddie signs something vulgar at him is, anyway.)

[mizie-izie]

oh man guys oh man. are you guys seeing this?? do you guys see some kind of pattern here???

[random-lil-illing]

i had a vision,,, asexual dps fans what do we think

[daweyt]

Wallace Stevens, from “The Collected Poems; ‘Sunday Morning,’” published c. 1954.

[lostpimplepatch]

Nightwing aerial silk routine to this song. Might add a part 2

Please comment even if its criticism. I need the motivation

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Been avoiding the show because FUCK Amazon but. I said I'd post it so I'm postin it.

[mentalmeles]

Memory of a Kiss

Pairing: Stucky (Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes)

Word count: 2.5k

......We all knew it was a matter of time before I did this.

I can't write multi chapter stuff, but I can write small one shots, so!! Have this short one shot of Bucky regaining a memory while recovering under Steve's care.

When does this take place? Who's to say? I don't know and it doesn't matter. Regardless, please enjoy my silly lil thoughts about these two old men uwu

--------------------------------------------------------

“We…” Bucky begins, his brows knitted in concentration. “We used to k-k-k-kiss.”

He doesn’t say it like a question, but Bucky’s eyes are big and curious. Suddenly, there’s a lump in Steve’s throat and he has to blink several times to stop the burning sensation building in his eyes. Taking a shaky breath, he nods.

“Y-Yeah. Yeah, Buck. We did.”

Bucky had recently began to regain some of his memories from before. It’s still slow going, but Steve can see him fighting so hard every day for the chance to remember something—anything from the years Hydra took from him. Most days it’s hard, leaving Bucky even more disoriented and confused than usual at best or screaming his throat raw for hours and hours at worst. And this is all on top of everything else he has to deal with.

He can’t talk much, his sentences short and decorated with a stutter that simply refuses to leave. He has tremors, trouble sleeping and eating, and is extremely paranoid. Steve still doesn’t know how he does it, but he swears that Bucky always has at least one or two knives on his person at all times. And, of course, there was also that time last week when Bucky suddenly had a seizure when they tried to watch a movie together. Despite everything he’s seen and done up till now, Steve had never been so scared in his entire life.

Thankfully, however, this memory recall seems to be anything but bad. Bucky’s eyes are clear and lucid. His posture is open and he looks calm, if not a bit timid. Still, Steve had somehow never braced himself for Bucky remembering...well. Them.

Clearing his throat, he tries his best to explain. “We, uh… We first started doing stuff like that when we were kids. It was nice for a while, but you ended up calling it off. There was some...unwanted attention and you didn’t want to put me at risk like that. Then, when the war came, we started it back up. Neither of us really talked about it. It just kind of happened. We never got around to giving what we had a name, though. We got close, but...” Steve pauses then, memories of the unforgiving cold and the sound of a train suddenly flashing through his mind. “...We got close.”

Bucky seems to consider this, his eyes focusing on the dresser just behind Steve. Both of them stay like that for a moment, memories of their past lives quietly replaying between them. The quiet is then broken when Bucky looks back at Steve.

“Can we… Can we kiss now?”

Steve lightly gasps at that, his heart skipping a beat or two. Despite how long it’s been since Steve took Bucky in, they haven’t done anything like that yet. It’d be their first kiss since the war.

Since the day Bucky fell.

Steve is unable to stop the tears from gathering in his eyes this time as he nods. “Yeah. Sure we can.”

Bucky nods, setting his jaw and becoming mission focused. Steve remains where he is, letting Bucky take the lead. Slowly, Bucky closes the gap between them. He reaches out, brushing his fingers along Steve’s forearm uncertainly. His eyes flicker up to meet Steve’s, as if asking for permission. Steve nods and takes Bucky’s hand into his own, rubbing gentle circles into the back of it. Soon enough, they’re so close that their chests are nearly touching. Steve’s breath quickens, matching the pounding of his heart. If it beat any harder, he was certain it would burst. Bucky’s breathing becomes faster as well and he almost seems like he’s going to change his mind about the whole thing, before he closes his eyes and meets Steve’s lips with his.

The kiss is slow and careful, Bucky’s lips barely brushing against Steve’s before he quickly pulls away. Steve remains still and silent, watching as a conflict flickers upon Bucky’s face. After a short moment, the light in Bucky’s eyes dims and his expression becomes vacant. Vaguely, Steve wonders if Bucky is going to lash out, but he immediately scolds himself for it. If the Soldier wants to make an appearance, Steve will handle it. But, until that happens, he’s going to put his trust in Bucky.

So, he patiently waits. Bucky continues to stare at him, his body as rigid as a statue, before he suddenly turns on his heel and goes straight to the window. Without a word, he opens it and crawls right out, leaving Steve standing in the middle of his bedroom alone. Unexpectedly, the sight of it brings forth another memory. 

Bucky had shown up one night while Steve’s ma was working, waking him up by knocking on his window from the fire escape. Once he’d turned on the light and let him inside, it didn’t take Steve long to realize that Bucky was drunk. It was a while before he got the story out of him, but Bucky finally told Steve that he got stood up by his date. So, his seventeen year old mind had told him the solution to his wounded feelings was to simply drink them away. At least, that was before he realized that his mother would kill him for coming home in such a state.

“Just until the morning, Stevie. Let me sleep this off and then I’ll get outta your hair.”

“Sure, Buck. But you’re drinking some water first.”

As Steve got him a glass, Bucky all but fell onto his bed and began to mumble things the blond couldn’t make out. By the time he’d returned to Bucky, he found him with his arm draped over his eyes, as if he was trying to block everything out. He gently nudged his arm with the glass.

“Here, ace. This’ll help.”

Instead of taking the water, however, Bucky just kept on mumbling his thoughts out loud. “I just don’t get it,” he slurred. “I try and I try and yet I can’t get it right. Can’t get nothin’ right. ‘M not good at this, Stevie. ‘M not good at any of this.”

Steve felt his lips form a line. He’d never heard Bucky talking about himself like that before. His friend had always seemed so confident and carefree. He was every Brooklyn girl’s dream guy, after all, and there was no mystery as to why that was. Bucky was kind, polite, and treated every girl he went out with like they were worth a million bucks. So, when Steve heard him say that he wasn’t good at any of it, it threw him for a bit of a loop.

“C’mon, Buck. Don’t talk like that. It’s just one bad date, that’s all.”

Steve then spared a moment to think how funny it was that he was the one giving dating advice. As if he had any idea what he was talking about. Oh, sure, he’d been on dates before, but none of them had ended well. For one thing, they were all double dates that Bucky had set up, so Steve always ended up being an unfortunate surprise to the second girl. He was a poor consolation prize in comparison to Bucky and everyone knew it. And then there was the fact that he hadn’t liked any of those girls himself. 

For, despite all of his attempts, Steve had always had eyes for one person in his life…

Steve’s thoughts were then interrupted by Bucky shaking his head fitfully. “Not jus’ one. None of ‘em were right. Felt so wrong, every single one.”

Now that was just crazy talk. Bucky always gushed to Steve about how well his dates went. The alcohol must’ve been getting to him more than Steve realized.

“I think you’re getting your thoughts mixed up, pal.”

But Bucky had simply shook his head again. “No, ‘m not. Those dames don’t compare…don’t compare to you.”

That was when Steve had immediately froze. For a moment, he’d been sure his heart had stopped. Of all the things he’d expected Bucky to say, that hadn’t been one of them. He opened his mouth to speak, but it felt like his tongue had been replaced with cotton.

“What?” He heard himself say.

Bucky then removed his arm from his eyes and stared at Steve. Despite the flush of his cheeks and his slurred speech, his eyes seemed clear and focused.

“Said none of em compare to you. You always…” Bucky then trailed off, seemingly losing his words. Instead, he slowly sat up and took one of Steve’s hands into his own. Steve said nothing and allowed it to happen.

“You always making me lose my damn mind,” Bucky finished, rubbing his thumb back and forth across the back of Steve’s hand all the while.

“You—“ Steve swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “You mean it?”

“Want me to prove it?”

Bucky’s voice had dropped a bit and Steve suddenly realized that his friend’s eyes were drifting down to his lips. Steve licked them and tried to remember how to breathe. Before he could chicken out, he’d simply nodded.

“Yeah.”

Then, like a dream, Bucky raised his hand and tenderly cupped the side of Steve’s face. Steve had felt his heart beating hard in his chest as it roared in his ears. His eyes kept flicking down to Bucky’s lips as they drew closer and closer. And then finally, wonderfully, they kissed.

In that moment, the stars could’ve fallen from the sky and shattered Brooklyn to bits and it wouldn’t have mattered. To Steve, that moment was more precious than anyone or anything else in the world, let alone the stars. It was gentle and sweet and his insides felt like warm honey. Bucky’s strong arms had moved to wrap around him fully and Steve had never felt more secure.

“Buck…” Steve gasped once they stopped to breathe.

Bucky was smiling so big he was nearly squinting, his cheeks dusted with a rosy color. “Wanted to do that for so long…” He laughed.

They kissed again and again, laughing and smiling all the while. It was like a little piece of heaven had been created, right there in Steve’s tiny bedroom. Although he’d never drank in his life, he figured this is what it must’ve felt like to get drunk. He’d have to ask Bucky when he sobered up, he vaguely thought.

The glorious moment was then shattered by the sound of the front door being unlocked. Steve’s heart had instantly plummeted to his stomach. 

His ma. 

Whipping his head back to Bucky, he saw his own panic mirrored on his face. Immediately, the two had scrambled away from each other. Bucky then made a beeline for the window and, without sparing a glance back towards Steve, crawled right out onto the fire escape. Steve managed to shut it just as his ma walked in.

“Steven?” She called softly, surely noticing that his light was still on. “You still awake, love?”

Desperately trying his best to seem as normal as possible, Steve had stepped out into the living room to greet her. She looked tired, like she always did at the end of a long shift, but she didn’t seem to notice anything different about him. Instead, she closed the distance between them and, after brushing his hair away from his face, gave him a kiss on his forehead in greeting, just like always.

“What are you doing up? Are you feeling alright?” She asked gently, placing the back of her hand on both cheeks.

“I’m fine, ma. Just couldn’t sleep, is all.” He shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

She then gave him one of her signature looks. The one that lovingly said ‘what am I going to do with you?’ “You better try,” she said. “It’s late. I don’t want you to get sick again.”

Steve nodded, grateful for the opportunity to slip away.

As he laid awake in bed that night, Steve kept replaying that moment he and Bucky had shared over and over again in his mind. Part of him vaguely wondered if it had been a dream. It certainly felt like a dream, one that had been plucked from his own mind and given life. He tentatively ran his fingertips over his lips, still tasting the remnants of alcohol and Bucky on them. No, it certainly hadn’t been a dream.

Before he finally drifted off, Steve suddenly couldn’t help but chuckle. Confident and carefree Bucky Barnes must’ve been really spooked to have escaped out Steve’s window the way he did. He should’ve known better than anyone that, after all these years, Steve’s ma wouldn’t have suspected a thing about him being over that late.

The memory is what probably stops Steve from feeling rejected or upset at Bucky’s sudden departure. If anything, it does the opposite. His face is warm and he can’t seem to wipe the smile off his face.

After that night so many years ago, it had taken Bucky a day or two to show his face to Steve again. As Steve had suspected, he’d been so embarrassed that his ma had walked in, but he’d also been scared. He said that he’d been worried their kiss would turn out to be nothing but a figment of his drunken mind.

Now, Bucky has a lot more to worry about than having one too many drinks when it comes to memory displacement. He’s not sure when Bucky will return, but he’s certain that he will. So, Steve decides to wait for him.

It turns out he doesn’t have to wait very long.

Bucky returns that very night, crawling through the same window he left through and just as silent. The sight of him makes Steve immediately put away the book he was reading.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve greets, sitting up.

Bucky says nothing, but gives a small nod.

“You feeling okay?”

“Y-Y-Y-Yes,” he says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to leave like that.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, no. It’s okay. I understand.”

Bucky nods again and silence befalls the pair once more. A short moment passes before Steve shuffles a bit so that there’s room on the bed beside him. He gently pats the space, inviting Bucky to sit with him. For a bit it seems like Bucky is going to decline, but then he wordlessly walks over to the bed and joins him. They sit together for a few minutes, the silence still present, but companionable.

“Was it...okay?” Bucky whispers.

“Yes,” Steve answers quickly. “It was definitely okay. Did you like it? How did it make you feel?”

“M-M-Made me feel...good. I liked it.”

Steve swells with warmth at that and he feels his smile creeping back upon his lips. “That’s great, Buck.” He pauses before continuing. “But you know you don’t have to push yourself just for my sake. I’m okay with taking things slow.”

Bucky inhales and exhales softly. “I know. Just… Want to remember. Want to f-f-f-feel good again.”

“I know,” Steve says, feeling so unbearably fond. “And you will.”

“Promise?” Bucky whispers and Steve is surprised to feel his fingers lightly brush against his.

He smiles fully then and gently interlocks his pinky with Bucky’s. Bucky looks down at them, looking a little surprised. He doesn’t pull away though, instead looking up at Steve with that curious flicker in his eyes. There’s something else in his eyes too and, with a sense of joy, Steve realizes it’s love. Tentative and small, but there.

“I promise,” Steve whispers back.

[therealraewest]

I can't believe Khonshu took Steven and Jake in the divorce

[avipop]

I know I’m late and the art is unfinished but sad Valentine’s Day from Lapidot

[whatadumbfool]

"t-theyre right behind me arnt they ?" ass look

alt black and white version + no light or whatever

[finneyneilperrykisser]

Zirp zop poet society