#but the tears were sad tears
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Google search: how normal is it to cry after reading romance stories
#personal#i know i have issues#its very fun being me#a chronically single hopeless romantic#with a lot of emotions#also will reiterate the fact i was not crying at sad parts#but the tears were sad tears#because im fucked up in the brain and lonely!#did stop halfway through reading to monologue to my cat#about my fragile emotional state#this is why i shouldnt be allowed to read or think past midnight#bc its 4am and ive been reading (and crying) for hours
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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starting looking at old photos of seb at ferrari and regretting it bc my heart hurts for this man. i miss him so much... so cute.. he was so smiley, so happy and proud holding those trophies above his head, decked out in vibrant red. you couldnt take your eyes off him even if you tried . he was beautiful like a flower in bloom

#sebastian vettel#sniffles...wipes tear......#athy taught me not to look back at old times with sadness wishing i was still in them but to be happy they happened and were so good to us#:’)
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nobody look at me nobody talk to me im. I'M REALLY NOT OKAY....

#what the...... fucm.......k......#stares at his topknot lovingly#guys...... guy... s.........#holding back the tears in my eyes#how am I supposed to be normal under these conditions#I have so much to think about now#im just. staring at him#never expected to see him again#I feel so sad and so strange#to be honest I'm not even caught up on part 2 I'm like 30 chapters behind#I just read the chapter today#so I kind of. have no idea what's going on#it's like if you were watching a random show about random people you don't know#and then suddenly. the love of your life appeared#wtf wtf this is so messed up....#I don't want to even work today.....#I missed him so much I cannot#LIKE HOW IS IT EVEN REAL#AND TO BE CONTINUED??! WE WILL GET ANOTHER FLASHBACK OF HIM#I'm. so#hayakawa family pls save me
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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Chainsaw Man Chapter 186:
⚠️ TRADE OFFER ⚠️
I receive:
Your most vital organs
All the demands I have made so far
You receive:
A 0.5% chance of slowing down Chainsaw Man
no organs lol
Humanity turns into big ass trees
#csm 186#chainsaw man#csm spoilers#aging devil#fr tho what an amazing chapter#public safety is totally enamored with aging's plan and they smile as it tears them to shreds#it looks like they were looking for any big bad authoritative devil to fill the hole makima left#i even feel bad for the diarrhea woman fumiko#like she sucks and is evil but to watch her degrade herself before and die for a totally amoral being is sad and disturbing
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Playing the new OL2 Demo and finding out the friendgroup is lowkey falling apart by step 2

#KAJNSDKJAS IM BEING DRAMATIC#but the opening narration was talkin about how the trio dont usually walk together now and i was in tears on the floor#LIKE WDYM WE ARENT BESTIES FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER??????????????#Maybe OL1 just spoiled me with the friendship with Cove but my GOD#also Tamarack???? STOP BEING SAD ITS MAKING ME SAD :((((((((#our life#our life now and forever#ol2#tamarack baumann#olnf qiu#qiu lin#olnf#olnf tamarack#olnf mc#“Tamarack and Qiu were no longer friends” What if i died. what then
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Not saying that people with more obvious physical limitations have it any easier, but if you're going to have a disability that gets in the way of schoolwork and class attendance, you are absolutely screwed if it happens to be "totally invisible and mostly unheard of 'can't wake up and get to morning classes on time' syndrome"
#guess who got dropped a whole letter grade in his german class because of his POTS getting in the way this semester!!#i simply do not think they should be counted as unexcused absences if on the first day of class you sent an email to the instructor#containing your letter from the disability center explaining you have 'can't always make it to class' disease#and would not always be able to make it to class#and then frequently reiterated to the instructor that the reason you were missing class was because of a disability#but i know that 'sorry i just can't wake up on time' sounds like the stupidest and fakest excuse ever so here we are#(yes i am fighting this because i deserve the B+ i worked for in that class and yes i will be getting my disability coordinator involved)#(but i am sad and frustrated and scared and sent my email about it in tears and know that it's a fight i might lose)
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I'd like to imagine Tim Drake just going around killing the people who've hurt him and his family (who are not also his family)
#and when he comes back alfreds like *britishly wipes away a single tear* i am so proud of you my boy#tim drake#dick and jason have managed to hide it from bruce#they dont know how the fuck tim managed to kill ra's al ghul or deathstroke but theyre proud of him#those two and joker were the only ones jason and dick knew about before tim showed them a list#the list was organized by family members and they knew well enough not to ask them or tim why they were there#joker's death was much more painful because he hurt literally everyone in the batfam#tim contemplated murdering quite a few other people as well but knew it would make at least one family member sad#lets be fair tho all the people in the batfam how hurt tim have at least since regretted and either apologized for it#or there was like a mutual 'we're not talking about it'#can you tell i like tags
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late night doodle bc when i say "i will never recover from Blitzø's nightmare sequence and flashbacks" i fucking mean it this entire episode destroyed me (thank fuck he got some fucking comfort though oh my god)
#just thinking abt Blitzø's life makes me sad#like i doubt stupid cash let him stick around after the fire#how long was it just him and his mom's little charm#e nough sad lemme autism abt the actual piece noejdjskdj#i loved doing the desaturated colors sm it makes the whoke thing feel so much sadder#i also mimiced Blitzø's handwriting for the text#it was a little tricky but with pen stabilization off my shaky hands helped#the tears were killinh me bc my reference was Blitzø watching his mom burn 😭😭😭 it was not fun#also SAD FACT: when i color picked for Blitzø it came out that his mom's charm is the same color as his eyes#but yeah if i cry you cryJSDHSHXKA#my art#clouds posts#hb spoilers#helluva boss spoilers#helluva blitz#helluva boss blitz#blitz hb#blitzo#helluva blitzo#blitzø#Blitzø i love you but why must you have eight bajillion tags#ghostfuckers
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Too tired for words
Waaagh sniffs sobs hhh.... cries sniffles sniff... wahh... starts rolling on the floor crying...... wahgh
#i genuinely bettered how i draw optimus ! i understood his face better#i changed the eyes' position and shape and git how his eyebrows work and how his face is shaped#i almost sobbed at the. the jaw or what is it called#the cheek shape? what the fuck it's so sad#his big brows made me sigh loudly like ah ahh 😞#but the most important thing was the little thingies at the eye bottom#i would call it eyeliner but it's disrespectful#it's tear streams. Engraved into his eyes sharp#AND RATCHET#i haven't drawn his eyes open once#because there's just something that i can't reach right now.#there's just something about his optica that i cannot grab right now#the art of prime book stated that his eyes were made to be softer than everything else#like he may seem blocky but the eyes!! they tell you he's soft#i need to study them#because if i do not do this#i will never understand what's here and what I can't understand about them#the big eyebrows#and the soft eyes underneath that i right now do not understand how to make soft#also they were supposed to have earphones but i couldn't figure it out#transformers#tfp fanart#margosher arting art#tfp#transformers fanart#optiratch#tfp optimus#tfp ratchet#ratchet tfp#optimus tfp
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I’m about to cry I just spent 3 hours making ravioli and it’s so good ;-;
#I WAS SO SURE THEY WERE GONNA FALL APART WHILE BOILING AND THEY WERE PERFECTLY AL DENTE#I’m genuinely near tears I was so sad I thought this was gonna be a flop bc this was all the energy I had today was to make these ravioli#they’re just a 4 cheese ravioli and an Aldi pumpkin chipotle sauce but my depressed ass#believes this is truly the best thing I’ve ever eaten#the ravioli do not look good but MAN I tried#i only had a glass bottle to roll the damn dough and it was so uneven but it turned out good!!!!#today was a good day :)#bones speaks
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Reposting this here cuz this old 2019 Inktober art I did of Link and Zelda with dragon spirits is more relevant than I expected back then, with Tears of the Kingdom.
I'm gonna redraw this. I just really like the idea of noddle cuddles after what this game's main story has done to my emotions.
#Hi! I'm back from my long weekend holiday!#old art that I hope to redraw#i made this back before I jumped into using photoshop - with a really good ballpoint pen and two highlighters#the noodles in this game made me so sad.....so what they were noodle cuddle fwiends! ;w;#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#link#zelda#zelink#totk
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This is after me calling Orym an FFA kid with his green and brown aesthetic
#silver sending stones#dorym#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#i started thinking of a highschool au and got sad.#Imogen and orym are in ffa together#ashton and laudna are the punk/goth kids who are too fucking weird to sit at anyone elses table#i hadnt gotten to letters or chetney yet#dorian is tory bolton#im only half kidding#i was thinking new kid who was a sports ball player at his old school but since changing he thought itd be a good chance to reinvent himself#and he had a good excuse not to be on a team because moving in the middle of the year does that. so he takes theater and thinks about#starting a band. and ultimately finds his way to his people#and orym#the sad thing is#orym and will were childhood friends right?#the question is. in highschool. why is will not there?#which i was thinking natural disaster took out a chunk of oryms neighborhood. like a tornado tearing through#and will and derrig... well...#idk that sucks and this sucks but we'll fucking see
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panel that hurt me so much I redrew it ✨
#Nevermore#Nevermore Webtoon#Webtoon#6#Some things look meh but I just had to get this out of my system#It was so sad!!!!!!#like the way I recorded it just makes me die inside#Anyway#the tears were actually kinda hard for some reason#I wish I could’ve done the one down her check but it just like didn’t work#Upping the saturation was so good I love the colors#And the eyes I’m always a sucker for the eyes and this time they look so good#Lenore honey it’s gonna be okayyyyyy
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making a real post for @rvspecter pls bear with me
anyway harvey hurt fic where after mike is busted and given a second chance at life (or a third, really) and pearson specter litt seizes the chance to instate a pro bono department mike is heading because he wants to get it right this time and harvey will do just about anything to keep him, these two men finally mention this Thing between them and decide to give it a try. and it’s good. it’s fragile and it’s tentative and it’s gentle and it’s the same as it’s always been but with more tenderness, more honesty, more vulnerability (and more sex of course) and it’s good. against all odds, it’s so good.
but then one day, long after hours, donna approaches harvey in his office and her eyes are shining, but it’s not a glow harvey is used to — he never wants to get used to donna’s eyes filled with tears so he asks her what’s wrong, but he’s not ready for the answer. because she tells him she can’t work for him anymore. she tells him she’s leaving him — to work for louis at first, maybe to quit altogether. the fact do the matter is she can’t be the Donna to his Harvey anymore because she’s in love with him and she thought she had it under control but she doesn’t, okay, she doesn’t and it hurts and she wants to be happy for him and mike because they’re so good but all this time she’d never thought that harvey would ever find someone real, and now that he has, well. she can’t pretend anymore that it doesn’t tear her up inside and she doesn’t want to put that on any of them so she’s doing the mature thing and leaving. to heal. to get over him. to come back stronger.
and she’s so, so sorry.
they listen to gordon one last time, they toast to thirteen years one last time — her words, not his, but they drive a knife into his heart nonetheless because harvey doesn’t do one last-anything and yet here sits his best friend and asks for one last night together and who is he but to give her everything she wants and more. she’s his donna — still, tonight; one last night. she is.
he doesn’t tell mike that night. couldn’t, even if he wanted to; because he doesn’t have the words. but in the secure hold of mike’s arms, he says “donna won’t be working for me anymore, starting tomorrow.” and he doesn’t mention how that means that donna went to jessica and louis first, he doesn’t mention that he was the last to know, he doesn’t explain how he wasn’t given a chance to fix this — not this time. “donna quit?” mike asks, and harvey swallows, shakes his head, shrugs. “just me,” he says. “just me.” and when mike pulls him closer and holds him tighter and tells him “i’m so sorry, harvey,” it’s the first i’m sorry that night that he believes.
unfortunately, sorry never fixed anything.
especially when soon after, mike finds out just why donna left. and he gets all up in his head about it, he allows himself to spiral because he’s so ready to succumb to tunnel vision and obsessing over solutions to problems that aren’t his to fix. and so he tells harvey that he can’t be the thing that comes between him and donna. they’re soulmates after all, mike can’t bear to be the one to sever their bond. harvey doesn’t understand. he’s the one who’s supposed to lose his mind over having lost his best friend and pretend like everything is okay, what right does mike have to make that about himself, to take it upon himself to fix everything when harvey’s the fixer, harvey is the one who solves problems and protects people. but mike won’t hear any of that and tells harvey that he can’t do it like this if it means hurting donna because she’s his best friend, too, and he wants to get it right this time. he doesn’t want to build this new life on decisions that hurt his people — not again. he’s hurt enough people, he can’t keep doing it.
harvey wants to ask him why he’s always so ready to protect everyone at his expense. isn’t this thing between them, their relationship, isn’t it meant to stop them from hurting each other? why is it okay to hurt harvey, but not to hurt donna?
he doesn’t ask any of that, only tells him that they’re not in high school, and that they’re either doing this or not, but he refuses to base their relationship on whether or not his best friend is okay with seeing him happy or not. “you’re either in this with me, mike, or you’re out. that hasn’t changed, and it won’t, because donna will get over it and everything will be back to normal before you know it.”
“you don’t know that.”
“yes i do, because we’re grown-ups and we get over things.”
famous last words, it turns out, because mike just slowly shakes his head, agonising over this and not thinking, clearly not thinking when he says, “i’m sorry, harvey. i can’t to this; not like this.”
and all he can do is watch mike’s back as he all but runs from him, dragging his heart behind him, through the dirt, uncaring as bits and pieces of it chip off with every step mike takes, with every second that passes and allows the words i can’t and i’m sorry, harvey echo in the hollow of his chest.
we’re grown-ups. we get over things. well, tough fucking luck.
and this is how harvey loses the two most important people in his life in the matter of a week. before he knows it, he’s alone, left to fend for himself and hollowed out. his walls are broken down, deconstructed piece by piece by carefully, gentle hands to reveal what’s underneath — only for the hands to retreat, letting in the icy cold and accepting what’s inside to wither and die.
there’s a reason harvey specter makes his own luck; the universe isn’t very forthcoming otherwise. a fact that is proven when he finds a stranger outside his building when all he wants is to curl up and breathe through the cracks of his broken hearts that have pierced his lungs, they must have, surely they must have, because he can’t breathe. and he doesn’t learn how to breathe again when the woman — a kid, really, merely twenty-five — reveals that she’s his half sister. because it turns out the reason lily specter was so ready to up and leave all those years ago; the reason she didn’t fight for her family and instead blamed it all on harvey, was because she was pregnant. and she lied about it — for twenty-six years.
amelia selene specter is the little sister harvey has always wished for — but cancer is a curse that rests on the specter family, and while marcus got lucky twice, selene isn’t. she didn’t have the money for medical resources, and it’s eating harvey alive that he didn’t know, that there was no way for him to help her and that there’s no way now.
but there is. because selene has two kids, seven and four, and she needs his help because they can’t get lost in the system, they can’t live with total strangers or be separated because the system doesn’t actually care about children, they only care about not feeling guilty. and she won’t ask lily. these two angels must be kept from her at all costs because she ruined two families already, she won’t ruin this one.
and harvey is obsessed with the thought of more family, he needs to take care of and be there for someone and he’s ready to take on the world to protect his niece and nephew — but he’s not warm, he’s not available, he’s not even at home most of the time, nor is his place suitable for kids.
he agrees to take them in and find a solution though. he promises selene that he’ll be there for them. he’ll always be there. and when he gets to meet them — a few days before his sister dies way too young, way too alive for something like death to not rip him apart entirely — he gets attached instantly and vows to himself and to selene that nothing will happen to them as long as he’s there.
even though harvey just lost his family — the one he chose, the one he was born into, and the one he never got to meet. even though harvey’s entire world was deconstructed with no one around to put it back together. even though he doesn’t know how, because evidently he got it wrong every single time, harvey gets to build a new family with these kids. and though it tears him up inside, it heals something inside him too — and sometimes they balance each other out, and he can breathe again for just a little while as he reads to charlotte because she’s feisty and afraid of nightmares and not listening when he says she’ll be tired in the morning because “i’m tired in the morning anyway, but now i wanna read” and he trades her going to bed for a bedtime story, and she falls asleep with her face pressed into his side.
it’s so frail, though, so fragile, this little family, and he knows what it’s like when everything breaks. he knows what it’s like to lose one’s family — over and over and over again. and he’s terrified that he’s building himself back up the wrong way. he’s terrified because there’s no one keeping him together but both his hands are occupied holding these children that cry for their mama.
he’s terrified because he’s not supposed to be doing this alone. but everyone else has made their choice and he, as always, is just there to bear the consequences and try to turn it into a win.
one day, he will. he has to. and one day, he’s not alone anymore.
#harvey specter#mike ross#donna paulsen#marvey#suits#suits usa#suits tv#listen uhhh sorry this got so long??? i take no responsibility that this ran away from me you are warned now this is what happens when#you get me started on a story idea hdhdhd#of course mike realises what he’s done and how STUPID he was about it all and he runs back to harvey attempting to fix it all#not at all expecting the two children in the condo#and when harvey tells him everything and mike realises the damage he’s done and the pain he’s caused he doesn’t know if he can fix it#if he can make it right. if he even deserves another chance at this because shit harvey i’m so sorry. i didn’t know. god i’m such an idiot#knowing donna was hurting it made me panic but realising that you were hurting even more just… god. you didn’t deserve that. i’m so sorry. ‘#and harvey gives him a sad smile because he’s known all along that mike was in his head about it and that he was being stupid and self-#sacrificial. only that he didn’t just sacrifice himself but harvey too. and he had hoped GOD had he hoped that mike would come back to him.#‘can i come in? i’d understand if you never wanna see me again though’ mike asks and harvey opens the door with a shrug. ‘course you can.’#and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about charlie and elias. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about#selene. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey looks up and wraps his arms around mike because he doesn’t want to hear it but he does#not want to let go of him either. never wants to let him go again. they cry a little bit about it. but it’s okay because mike wipes his#tears away and harvey lets him before resting their foreheads together. ‘don’t leave again’ he tells him. ‘i won’t’ mike promises.#and he doesn’t. and their family gets a bit more fragile then but also stronger for it. somehow it makes sense.
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