#and would not always be able to make it to class
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It is true I didn't follow the US politics before the election. This is just based on what I've seen so far since the election (since like the debate where Trump said questionable things about dog and cat eating since that kinda blew up everywhere lol):
As far as I know Fox News is Trump's ass-kisser. CNN is the opposite. NBC, MSNBC are anti Trump's dumb things which are... all Trump's things. I'm not sure what their usual stance is before the election, but during the election it was kinda like Fox News vs. everyone (it still is now). And based on what I've seen so far on Fox News their correspondences sound so... insensitive and delusional I'd immediately question their professionalism and therefore no longer trust whatever excuse they make for Trump.
Late night shows hosts are very against Trump. They dissed him every time I saw them on youtube and this is like every night? Some of them do sound unserious so people may disregard them, but Jon Stewart and John Oliver are 2 people whom I think really look into the issues like Project 2025, gun issue, inflation, crime etc. and bring evidences to the table, lots of times, to expose Trump. Both are also very critical of Dems on certain issues but often pointed out how Trump is always the worse option. With that much exposure to Trump's darkness (and, like, with proofs) I honestly thought the result would go the other way. Unless there's something I missed.
Twitter - I know there's an agenda pushed there 'thanks to' Elon Musk but somehow most of the posts showing up on my 'For You' are against right-wing extremists, like I don't even follow, like or retweet any political tweets that should make the algorithm swing that way (and gosh I WISH they could've done the same for my favourite artist, I like him and somehow they only show tweets talking shit about him, like Elon DO BETTER PLZ?) Anyways, my point is, even on a platform that is so blatantly right-wing, I'm still able to see that many tweets (with actual proofs, logical arguments etc.) criticise Trump, warn about Trump and his ppl, etc. that reach huge amount of engagement on Twitter, I was kinda under the impression that whatever right-wing propaganda on Twitter wasn't really working that well.
Trump is just... idk after those 4 years of bad-mouthing everything everywhere, fumbling Covid terribly, leaving White House with a coup, getting into another election running his mouth about dog eating cat eating, 'i'mma do this to women don't matter if like it or not', 'criminals coming from prisons and insane asylums', convicted felony, convicted rapist, proposal to get rid of Dep of Education, performing oral thingy with the mic on stage (??????), etc. Evidences of him doing stupid shit, saying stupid shit are like everywhere, and most things he said can be easily proven a lie by a simple google search. People may be disappointed at the Dems and hate the establishment, but how a man like Trump can be a better choice, under any circumstance, seems... baffling. Lots of ppl seem to choose him for the economy, which actually can be debunked by looking at other countries after Covid and Russia-Ukraine; inflation was a common issue, and the stats showed it's already gone down considerably at the time of the election. To me it just seems very easy to figure out all the arguments Trump used are pretty bullshit: no pro free speech person will bash and threaten to harm people who don't talk nicely about him, no 'America-first' person will ever spread lies and lead a coup, and never trust a multi-billionnaire when he says he's all for the working class.
I'm not saying the US mainstream media is not to blame, or the Dems is not to blame. They should've done a better job, but at the same time, the US is one of the countries where it's easier to see through propaganda. Freedom to access information and opinions from a wide range of perspectives with little restriction is a privilege some other countries don't even have.
I'm not from the US, I only made this comment based on what I've seen, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one outside of America who experienced this bewilderment. But if I've missed something, I'm willing to learn.
Gotta admit the headline is a banger.
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pinching!
tw and tags: bully!heeseung x plus size!fem!reader, descriptions of bullying, a lot of physical contact, noncon then heavy dubcon, oral sex (f receiving). word count: 2.3k note: originally written with a different idol in mind, this fic was already posted in my old blog. while talking to one of my best friends in the app we decided to re-post old fics for fun and idk why but while checking some of them I felt this one fitted Hee. I changed it a lot tho. anyway, hope someone here likes the concept. i’m a big fan of plus size/chubby reader but haven’t had the opportunity to talk about it here in the blog yet so, if you like it too, please don’t hesitate to hit my (empty) inbox! special thanks to fairy for being my first-ever beta reader ❤️
You have a couple of memories from that place, like how good it felt to hug your grandmother before bed, how there was a little stall in front of your school that always had tasty sweets, and how there was a little boy you used to walk home with after classes finished.
There wasn’t much objection once your mother said you would go back and live together in your grandmother's place not to leave the house empty. You had a couple of friends, but it was nothing special, so you said goodbye to them and moved with your mother without problem.
You had to admit you were kind of happy to move. Yeah, you wouldn’t be able to hug your grandmother, but at least you would feel her presence with the old floors and flower decorations that surrounded every room. Perhaps you could eat those sweets again, and there was the chance of making new friends too. Good things could come, you thought.
If you’re honest, you just hoped you could see him again.
You should've known at that point in your life that having expectations only leaves the sour aftertaste of disappointments.
The stall wasn’t there anymore, the entire house had changed because of your mother's decision, leaving no trace of your grandmother behind, and the sweet boy that used to follow you with a smile now followed you to make fun of you.
It was easy to recognize him. He had the same eyes and shiny smile, and you were elated to see a good, old friend all grow up into a real man. Sadly, he wasn’t as happy as you to see you again, showing you a disgusted face once you told him who you were.
‘’Don’t fucking talk to me,’’ he said, and you didn’t understand what you had done wrong. Perhaps you were too confident, your perfume wasn’t to his liking, or your hand was sweating too much when you touched him. You honestly had no idea why he reacted like that, but you understood that, just like his appearance, he had changed too.
After all, that sweet boy you used to know would’ve never talked to you that way.
That interaction alone was enough to make you never want to approach him again. You didn’t want to hear that tone or see that expression again, so you did your best. You avoided him in the hallway, you stayed in your seat not to cross his way during breaks, and you didn’t look his way when you recognized his voice.
It was all useless though.
You had become his new favourite thing.
At first, he was all words and no bite. He’d throw comments every now and then about your physical appearance, like comparing you to a pig when you ate your lunch in the cafeteria or mocking your uniform for being bigger than normal because of your size.
His friends only laughed at these comments, and those who weren’t his friends stayed silent. They were different groups but shared one same trait– None dared to approach you, afraid of receiving the same treatment from him.
Then, he started to touch you.
He pinched your arm, telling you to give him your homework to copy it. Later, it was your cheeks, telling you to stop eating if you didn’t want to gain weight. Finally, one day, when everyone had left for the PE class while you were searching for your towel in your seat, approaching you silently from behind, he pinched your waist.
Scared, you turned to him. It had hurt a lot more than when he did it to your cheeks. You knew that, more than to bother you or call your attention, like on the other occasions, he had done it with all the intention of hurting you.
When you looked at his face, you noticed that his typical grin wasn’t there, replaced by a surprised expression and curious eyes instead. Somehow, you felt that something bad was about to happen, so you pushed him out of the way and walked out of there as soon as you could without caring that you were leaving with empty hands.
‘’Where’s your towel?’’ your teacher asked you.
‘’I forgot it,’’ you answered, not wanting to return to the classroom.
Later, Heeseung arrived with your towel in his hand, and you got punished for not bringing all the obligatory material.
He got worse.
if he crossed you in the hallways, he would shamelessly pinch your waist until you hissed, and when he found you in the library, between shelves, he would pinch your ass, grinning from ear to ear at the picture of you biting your lips not to make a sound so you wouldn’t get in trouble again.
As if everything he did was an innocent game, he smiled at you after nipping different parts of your body, like the side of your ribcage when you decided to walk away from his teasing, the back of your hand when you tried to push him away, or your thighs when he sat beside you in the cafeteria or the study room.
‘’Why are you doing this?’’ you whispered, pushing his hand away from prying under your skirt and pinching your upper leg.
‘’Look at all that skin,’’ he answered, grabbing your round hand with force to stop you from getting away. ‘’Your body is begging for it.’’
When you tried to do it again, to get away from his hands, he pinched the space of your chest that your bra didn’t cover.
Making you whimper in pain, he laughed at your hurt expression.
‘’It really hurts!’’ you tried to reason with him, but he was a lost cause. It didn’t matter that you were full of little purple and green spots, flinching at the mere sight of him lurking around, he wanted more.
This is going to end at one point, you tried to tell yourself.
He’d get tired and leave you alone when he found a new toy. It was impossible he only focused on you the entire time, and even if it was like that, it was your last year. After that, you prayed, you’d never see him again.
Everything comes to an end.
Your house was the only safe space you had. Even if it wasn’t anything like the warm memory you had about it, it was a place that had never been tainted by Heeseung, unlike your school, or the streets you walked to arrive there.
Sometimes, he would follow you while murmuring insults, pretending to be a good friend walking you home. Nonetheless, once you opened your entrance door and saw that he stayed feet away, you would exhale, relieved that he didn’t try to follow you inside, too.
‘’Your friend is waiting for you in your room,’’ your mother smiled. ‘’I’ll go and buy something for you to eat later’’
She, unlike you, was excited to have him there, and you, trying to breathe properly not to show how the panic was consuming you, nodded.
‘’He’s become such a handsome man,’’ she murmured before leaving.
There was nothing you could do to run away, it was your house, and opening your room door, you saw him calmly looking at your stuff.
Your pillow wasn’t where you left it, so it was impossible to deny he had been roaming around for a while, invading your space and doing whatever he wanted, like he always did.
Standing in front of your bookshelf, one of your diaries open in his hands, he sensed your presence.
‘’Didn’t know you took so many walks, thought you would never come,’’ he said, passing the page and inspecting its content as if there was something in particular he was looking for. ‘’It doesn’t explain why you still look like that though.’’
‘’Heeseung, I’ve done nothing to you,’’ you sounded as if you were begging at that point. ‘’Why– I just don’t get why.’’
‘’I have my reasons,’’ he answered, closing the book and leaving it where it previously was.
You flinched when he showed the intention of getting close to you. Your hands became fists behind you, fully alert, one of them gripping the knob, ready to run into another room in case he tried to hurt you again.
‘’We were friends,’’ you said, lower lip slightly trembling. ‘’Please, stop. It hurts, Heeseung. It hurts a lot.’’
He saw you like that, broken, vulnerable, and he beamed.
Walking towards you, you thought your body would listen to you and escape, but it didn’t.
As you remained frozen in your place, caging you with his body, he finished closing the door behind you. Too late, you only reacted after hearing the loud click the secure did.
You started trembling as you realised he had blocked the only way of running away you had.
‘’But if I don’t touch you, who else will?’’ he whispered, taking your shaking hand in his.
Not pinching it this time, he interlocked his fingers with yours and pulled you closer to him. Your torso compacting his made you more conscious of how you were completely alone in your room, and, therefore, of how unrestrained he was allowed to act.
‘’If you’re good, I’ll stop being so hard on you. What do you think about that?’’ he offered.
You didn’t understand him. Being good with what?
Looking up at him, you couldn’t move your chest from pressing his because his other hand, forcing you to stay in your place, went to rest over the small of your back, the generous curve from your ass to your waist that was the object of so many of his jokes.
You could see where his actions were going.
You felt yourself get nauseous with his body temperature and his aroma suffocating you due to the inexistent distance between your bodies.
‘’My mom will come back in any second…’’ you didn’t know what other excuse to use.
‘’I’ll be quick,’’ he smiled, wetting his lips, unconsciously sending a signal to your brain that screamed for you to just be good and get it over with.
‘’Will it hurt?’’ Your face betrayed you, plainly showing all the fears you had, giving him, once again, the upper hand.
‘’Not anymore,’’ he assured you. His hand that used to bring you so much pain suddenly became gentle and trailed up, caressing your arm with multiple marks created by him before finding your chest, and groping it with obvious satisfaction a few times, he felt them until he decided he wanted to touch more of you.
His hands continued their way until he found his new goal.
He cupped your face with a tenderness you had never met from him before, and not wanting to provoke him in any way, you muted yourself.
To his unpleasant care, thumbs caressing your cheeks, you didn’t make a single noise, not the hiss you always let out when he pinched you, nor the cry when he painfully rubbed your soft skin.
‘’Well done,’’ he praised you, proud of what he recognised as your acceptance.
He expected you to continue being so obedient when he obliged your thighs to open with his knee.
Quickly, he found his place.
You didn’t know what to expect, but you never imagined the situation would end with him ditching your pants somewhere in your room and desperately dropping to his knees so he could accommodate between your trembling legs, slurping all the involuntary wetness your body made you drip not to suffer when the moment of taking him arrived.
Not being able to call his name properly, you whined when his palms gripped your meaty thighs a bit too hard and his tongue found your entrance, penetrating it with sloppy stabs.
The sensation of the tip of his nose bumping against your clit and his fingers separating your plump folds made you bite your lips to stop what felt like a moan.
He was eating you out like a starved man.
Your hands went to his hair, and you have no idea what flooded you, but you felt free to hurt him too.
You wanted him to suffer too.
Full of unknown courage, you pulled his hair and moved your hips to crush his face, using him instead of the other way around.
Then, it felt good– To hurt him felt way too good.
You thought, maybe this is why he does it, because you had never felt so powerful and in control before, especially, with him.
Looking down, you two made eye contact even with your chubby stomach prodding out.
His eyes had nothing of the mockery they always showed. Instead, they were completely lost, drunk and unfocused. You couldn’t contain your moans anymore when his eyes batted and he seemed pleased to have your attention on him.
Not much after he started fucking you harder with his tongue, the knot in your stomach started to feel so tight you knew it would snap in any second.
Without intention, or maybe with all the intention, you closed your large legs around his head, not caring that you were crushing his face as you strongly came over his mouth and nose.
He mewled, hugging your legs as you asphyxiated him for many seconds before your orgasm finished and you inevitably relaxed.
Just after giving him everything you had, you finally allowed him to breathe.
You freed him from your hold, but he didn’t move away immediately.
Gulping your remaining juices, he hardly inhaled once through his nose before he started licking the drops of your orgasm inside your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses along the way until he found his new favourite thing.
With both hands on the back of your thighs, he blinked multiple times before his tongue found its way between your folds, searching for your clit to leave a last loving lick.
As if he was proud you had abused him, only separating forcedly because of your hands pushing his head away from your sensitive clit, he took open-mouthed deep breaths with a still dazed expression.
Regaining some of his senses, he talked with the lower half of his face glistening.
‘’See? This didn’t hurt, right?’’ he smiled.
#─★dark enhypen#─★heeseung#─★fanfic#─★plus size reader#tw dubcon#enhypen smut#heeseung smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enha smut#heeseung x reader
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He was a fairy.
pairing : uni stu!jungwon+ uni stu!fem reader . genre : fluff . cw : none i think . wc : 3.2K + text
check my other works ₊⊹⁀➴ masterlist
— synopsis : your boyfriend has a pretty big surprise to you, what if he changed his hair color without telling you ?
— uri's note : oh i'm so back guys ... what a better way to start posting again than making a blonde won au my shayla💔 i'm obsessed i swear :| n e ways i really hope you like this as much as i like it <3 love u all
When you got home after class you saw that your boyfriend Jungwon texted you not so long ago. You answered as soon as you entered the dorm.
You put your phone down and run to your bathroom to get ready. A surprise? What could it be.. Jungwon has always had a pretty big mouth and he was never able to keep any secrets, at least not from you.
And not only that but he also planned a whole picnic date for you, today was going to be and interesting day to say the least.
You choose to wear something comfy for the picnic; some baggy jeans and one of your jungwon’s hoodies. "Well, how do i look ?" — you asked your roommate. She looked at you and mouthed a silent ‘you look pretty’, you smiled at her compliment and hoped that Jungwon would think the same as her.
You took your keys, your bag and exited the dorm for the second time today. But this time you were actually happy to do that.
You reached the park near your school, where Jungwon told you to meet him. You sat on one of the benches and waited for your boyfriend to appear.
Not much time passed when you felt a pair of arms hugging you from behind, followed by a silent ‘hi baby' and a kiss on the cheek. Once he let go of you you turned around to look at his pretty face, the same one you've been missing the whole day.
"WHAT THE FUCK JUNGWON?" — You jumped on your seat, hands covering your mouth. You thought your eyes popped out of your skull.
So that's the surprise. He changed his hair color. His hair was now. Blonde.
He laughed at your reaction, he didn't think that you would react like that at all. Standing now in front of you he took your hands and made you stand up facing him, your face still reflecting pure shock. "So you don't like it ?" — He pouted, his hands resting around your waist as he pulled you towards him.
You touched his hair, admiring how incredibly good he looks. "Jungwon — you gulped — This is the hottest you've ever looked in your life" — As soon as those words leave your mouth he started laughing again and, taking your face in his hands, he kisses you.
"I'll take that as a yes" — He said as he pulled away. After that he took your hand and guided you to the spot he chose for your picnic date. As you walked there you couldn't stop looking at him. He looked ethereal, like a fairy, he was actually a fairy. You swear you just fell in love with him allover again.
Once you both settled everything down it was almost time for the sun to set. The rays of the sun reflecting on his face, you swear he couldn't get any prettier, but seeing him glowing like this proved you wrong.
You were able to take your gaze away from him for a second just to find a pretty little blue flower next to you. You took it and while looking at it an idea crossed your mind. "Baby — You called him. His head turned to look at you, a smile adorning his face making you melt at that same spot. Come here" — You patted the spot next to you. He got up and sat down right next to you, the closer the better, his shoulder even brushing again yours.
You took the small flower and decided to put it in his hair. He smiles at you while you did that. If you think he is pretty he feels like the luckiest man ever every time he sees you, thinking about how he managed to date someone as magical as you are.
Once you're done you pull away, admiring his face. "You are the prettiest boy I've ever seen in my life, my pretty boy" — You said while caressing his cheeks that were now tinted with a light pink blush. "I told you i'll call you that" — he smiled at your comment while shaking his head.
After that he finally decided to close the small distance between you, kissing you softly. He pushed you gently making you lay completely in the blanket he placed under you both without breaking the kiss.
He pulled away, for your dislike. Resting his forehead on top of yours not wanting to be completely apart from you he whispered a small ‘i love you’ to which you answered the same way as him.
You both laid there, the sun was nowhere to be seen now and the sky was now decorated with tons of stars that reflected in his pretty eyes. This day couldn't end better than this.
tag list : open . send an ask !
#— my work 📑#enhypen#enhypen au#enhypen one shot#enhypen oneshots#enhypen scenarios#enhypen jungwon#jungwon#yang jungwon#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#jungwon fluff#jungwon oneshots#jungwon au#jungwon scenarios#jungwon x female reader#jungwon x reader#yang jungwon x reader#yang jungwon scenarios#yang jungwon oneshots#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jay#enhypen jake#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen sunoo#enhypen ni ki#enhypen writers
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Hey Newsies Fandom, LETS TALK LODGING HOUSES (by someone who wrote a 13 page essay on them for a university class)
I’ve recently delved into the world of Newsies Fanfiction and I’ve been going a little crazy over some of the representation of the Lodging House so I thought I’d offer up some FACTS regarding some things I’ve seen. For this I’m going to focus on the N°9 Duane Street Lodging-House.
(If you want a basic idea without doing too much research or reading this post, just go watch the 1992 Newsies, it’s not perfectly accurate but it’s close enough.)
THE LAYOUT: the lodging house itself was 6-7 floors. The first floor was rented out to shops like some apartment buildings.
Floor 2: The second floor consisted of a large dining-room “where nearly two hundred boys can sit down at table” (Campbell et al, 1897, 122), as well as a kitchen, laundry room, store-room, servant’s room and living quarters for the lodging’s superintendent and their family.
Floor 3: The third floor contained the school-room as well as washrooms, leaving the two top floors for the dormitories.
Floor 4-5: Each dormitory was “furnished with from fifty to one hundred beds” (Campbell et al, 1897) with spring mattresses and plenty of comforters. There were also “private rooms” which were squared spaces quartered off by curtains for privacy. These beds, though more expensive, were almost ALWAYS filled.
A couple different sources mention the lodging house having a gymnasium (with a trapeze) but they can’t seem to agree exactly where the gymnasium was. My guess is it was on the 6th floor as mentioned in an article by The Journal. The attic was used as extra space for the winters when the dormitories were full.
COSTS: lodging was 6 CENTS (or 10 for a “private room”) and meals (breakfast and dinner) were the same price. Boys could have as many helpings of a mean as they wanted! Without paying extra! From what I could tell they didn’t serve lunch because the afternoon paper came out around noon and most boys just picked up something while they were out so they wouldn’t miss a prime selling time.
(Don’t forget that most papers cost 1¢ for customers so a newsie would only have to sell 6 papers to stay the night or get a meal)
AMENITIES: THEY. HAD. SHOWERS. They had access to both hot and cold water and free towels. Boys were expected to wash up after entering the lodging house. Also, as mentioned, there was a laundry room. From my understanding it was most often used to clean the sheets of the beds which were used every day, but there were also boys said to be around helping with chores, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they were also able to wash their clothes there when they wanted.
There was also a free clothes ‘closet’ with donated clothing for boys to access. It seemed most boys chose not to make use of it out of pride, but it didn’t go UNUSED. When a kid really needed stuff they would give it to them.
SCHOOLING: boys staying at the lodging house who did not receive a pass to stay out late were expected to attend the night school held there from 7:30-9. During the day the lodging house also held trades classes and other such courses for those who couldn’t attend a full day of school for whatever reason.
There’s so much more but that’s the basics of it and some of the stuff I’ve seen people get wrong (both in fanfics AND here on Tumblr) I’ve added photos from the Lodging house as well as some links of interest for those who want to go do their own research.
Campbell, H., Knox, T. W., & Byrnes, T. (1897). NEW YORK NEWSBOYS-- WHO THEY ARE, WHERE THEY COME FROM, AND HOW THEY LIVE-- THE WAIFS AND STRAYS OF A GREAT CITY. In Darkness and Daylight; or Lights and Shadows of New York Life; A Pictoral Record of Personal Experiences by Day and Night in the Great Metropolis (pp. 111–138). essay, Hartford, Conn. The Hartford Publishing Company. Retrieved November 23, 2024, from https://archive.org/details/darknessdaylight00campuoft/page/137/mode/1up.
^ Chapter IV: NEW YORK NEWSBOYS— WHO THEY ARE, WHERE THEY COME FROM, AND HOW THEY LIVE— THEY WAIFS AND STRAYS OF A GREAT CITY.
Riis, J. A. (1890). How The Other Half Lives. Charles Scribner’s Sons. November 23, 2024, https://www.gutenberg.org/files/45502/45502-h/45502-h.htm#Page_82
^Chapter XVII: The Street Arab
Riis, J. A. (1908). The Children of the Poor. Charles Scribner’s Sons. November 23, 2024, https://www.gutenberg.org/files/32609/32609-h/32609-h.htm#Page_122
^Chapter XIV: The Outcast and the Homeless
Smallest saving bank in the world. (1896, February 16). The Journal, pp. 19–19. Retrieved November 23, 2024, from https://www.loc.gov/resource/sn84031792/1896-02-16/ed-1/?q=Great+Depression&sp=19&st=image&r=-0.421,0.085,1.842,1.398,0.
#newsies#newsies fandom#broadway#newsies jack kelly#jeremy jordan#jack kelly#katherine plumber#newsies katherine plumber#newsies davey#newsies katherine#racetrack newsies#newsies fanfic#history#newsies facts#historical newsies#newsboy lodging house#irl newsboys were so chaotic#i’m so normal about newsies
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I grew up very spoiled. Had everything I needed and wanted. Every toy, treat, article of clothing or makeup, video game. I had a tv in my bedroom growing up. I had TONS of books and dolls. I had everything a middle class girl could want...except for emotional assurance, stability, and safety. My parents weren't bad people, but they had their own issues that they didn't sort through yet, they were young, immature, emotionally disregulated, and needed more emotional assurance from me than they could give in return. My dad was a tough love kind of guy, my mom was emotionally dependent on me (like Lorelai Gilmore, but even more harebrained and SUUUPER overprotective), my maternal grandmother is a classic case of narcissism who shamed me for being skinny and found some way to ruin every birthday, and my paternal grandparents always fawned over my older half sister more than me. Said sister was 6 years older than me and as soon as she stopped being a kid and started being a teenager, I was an annoying kid sister that she had to force herself to play dolls with when she would've rather been watching anime or reading. We moved around a lot and I wasn't able to form lasting friendships. I was so, so lonely growing up. And everytime I tried to make people understand my hurt, which I didn't have words for, I was called selfish and told to be more empathetic to other people's points of view; "not everything revolves around you".
I was only spanked once as a kid, which just made me laugh cause it tickled (its possible my dad wasn't really going for it), and my mom only slapped me across the face once when I was a teenager and called her a bitch to her face when I wasn't allowed to swear yet (tbh, I kinda deserved that). I was barely grounded, and the few times I was, mom cut it short because she got lonely or felt guilty or something. I rarely got toys or games taken away after about age 7. After I started homeschooling, I was allowed to stay up and sleep in as late as I wanted. I didn't really have a diet. My parents didn't even make me bathe as often as I should have. I now recognize I had depression throughout my latter teenage years. Nobody listened to my interests. Nobody got me the gifts I really asked for, deciding for me what I would want for birthday or Christmas presents. In my teenage years, I was parentified made to help raise my cousin, sans money or even gratitude from my aunt and uncle. After he was born, all my birthdays suddenly revolved around him. Again, when I brought this up to anyone, it was "he's a baby, this is important to him, stop being selfish".
I could continue, but I've gone on long enough. So, was I abused? No. I wouldn't say so. Neglected? Emotionally, yes, I do believe I was. My parents "tried their best". But, hey, at least I had toys and video games, right?
this post hasn't left my mind since i've first saw it
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Every time I see you...chapter 1 ↰
...my throbbing heart rate spikes up
Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
☆ Warning: none ☆ Word count: 5.3k ☆ Rating: sfw ☆ Genre: slice of life, established situationship, post university setting, fluff ☆ Summary: There was nothing exclusive between the two of you, but somehow you didn't mind being in Mingi's arms, in his presence. A day spent well gets rewarded by a movie night with the person you're the most fond of.
☆ Visuals ☆
M.list
A/N: And so, the first chapter is here! It's a slow ease into their relationship, it will pick up as we proceed, I promise. I hope you find it intriguing, let me know what you thought of this part, I'm curious to hear your opinions! I think this is very different from what I usually write, but soft!Mingi is so dear to me that I sob anytime I write for this series LMAO. The Mingi from this story is canon Mingi, and you can't convince me otherwise lol. Next chapter coming next week around this time! ^^ Check out the vision board I made for this story, as well as Giselle's Dopamine song! Taglist is open for the story! Enjoy! ^^ divider
Taglist: @spicxbnny @hongjoongspoetry
🎧 𝘭 𝒹𝜎𝑛’𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝛼 𝓂𝛼𝑛, 𝒿𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝛼𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝜎𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 / Ⴘ𝑒𝛼ℎ, 𝑦𝜎𝑢 ℓ𝜎𝜎𝑘 𝑠𝜎 𝑔𝜎𝜎𝒹 𝑠𝑡𝛼𝑛𝒹𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑒𝘹𝑡 𝑡𝜎 𝓂𝑒 / 𝛮𝑒𝘹𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝘭 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝐷𝜎𝑝𝛼𝓂𝑖𝑛𝑒 / 𝘊𝛼𝑛’𝑡 ℓ𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝜎𝑢 𝑐ℓ𝜎𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝜎 𝓂𝑒 🎧
The scent of ground coffee was potent as the grinder disturbed the otherwise serene atmosphere of the modest coffee shop, located in the heart of the city, right under a publishing company. Thus, it was famous among bookworms, office workers, or high school students who loved to skip their last class of the day, the school was located just a bit further up on the street. I loved this area because it was always busy, littered with people and various shops on both sides of the boulevard, housing hidden gems and other popular hot spots like the Moon & Stars Coffee Ground coffee shop that Mingi worked at part-time. His back was turned to me as he worked the coffee grinder, his exposed biceps bulging as he screwed the top of the lid back shut, finally stopping the grinder. Silence fell upon the coffee shop once again, giving way to the quiet jazz music playing through the speakers. Mingi had the opening shift today, the shop wasn’t opened yet, but I had a few privileges by being his friend, so, I was allowed in as long as I helped with dusting the tables off and changing the flowers which were withering away in the small, cute, orange vases placed on top of each round table.
The coffee shop was an explosion of colours, the walls painted a deep green with low-hanging retro chandeliers that gave the place a moody vibe even during the day. Plants weren’t scarce either, giving the air inside a much-needed refresh from the polluted air coming from the outside. Abstract paintings hung on the wall from artists even I didn’t know, and the counter I was leaning against was a deep maroon, sturdy and able to withhold a few splashes of the drinks placed atop it. A few delicacies were displayed in the window to my left, most of them were still being baked in the kitchen located straight behind the counter, and I picked at the leaf of the small plant absentmindedly as Mingi’s silver rings collided against the shaker he used to combine different coffee grounds. The sun was just rising on the horizon, coating the inside of the coffee shop in an orange hue, a single sunray falling onto Mingi’s dark brown hair, making it appear lighter than it was. I continued watching him in silence, my eyes still heavy from having woken up not even an hour ago.
The world was still quiet outside, but those who started their jobs early or had to travel longer were out and about, all quiet and not bothering each other as they walked down the sidewalks. The coffee shop had half an hour before it would open, and by that time I would be gone, headed to the store I worked at. We were lucky that our workplaces were relatively close to each other, if we were in a hurry, we could make the walk last roughly ten minutes. The thought of having Mingi just around the corner was comforting for some reason, perhaps knowing that if I texted him that I needed him for something, he’d come running around the corner brought a sense of security with itself. I was used to having Mingi by my side, ready to drop everything if I needed his help or assistance with something. He was a good friend, dependable and trustworthy, loyal beyond what could be considered healthy. I smiled as Mingi lightly swayed his hips to the music, the dark green apron tied around his waist accentuating the tininess of it. The sweet scent of salted caramel made saliva gather in my mouth, and I knew Mingi’s intention before he had even turned around.
“You haven’t dozed off, sleepyhead?” He asked with a chuckle, his voice quiet and a deep rumble in his chest. It had always been like that, gravely with a rasp to it, yet warm in tone and used with gentleness. Mingi wasn’t the type of person to shout, perhaps if he got too excited his voice would raise a few octaves as he was carried away by his exhilaration, always eager to share it with someone as his eyes sparkled like the stars on a clear stary night.
“Not yet,” I answered, chin resting in my palm as Mingi leaned his hip against the counter, searching for the right lid for the cup he held, “It would be a bit difficult while standing up, I’m not like you.”
That made Mingi chuckle as he threw me an amused glance, his heavy and sharp eyes friendly as they crinkled at the ends. He found the right lid for the cup and placed it on top of it, pressing down thrice to make sure he had placed it on correctly. Then, he slowly pushed the warm container towards me and I smiled, accepting the coffee wordlessly. Our fingers brushed together and I felt a rush of warm tingle through my hand, making my smile widen as did Mingi’s, his eyes becoming smaller with the action.
“Thank you,” I muttered as I raised the sweet coffee to my lips, taking a cautious sip since it was still hot. Mingi hummed, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and his taut chest muscles pulled at the form-fitting white tee he wore. It was warm inside the coffee shop, but I wondered how his exposed arms weren’t covered in goosebumps yet. My cardigan was warm, yet I didn’t look forward to when I’d have to step outside into the crisp morning air once again. Mingi’s necklaces were nicely layered, his outfit simple but put together with a good eye for fashion, “Did you forget your glasses at home once again?”
Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and he reached up with a hand to touch the bridge of his tall nose, having to check physically that his glasses were missing or not. I shook my head with amusement as I took a small sip of the salted caramel-infused drink, “Seems like you are the sleepyhead.”
“No, it’s here,” Mingi argued, leaning down and reaching forward, arm getting lost in the counter as he felt around for his glasses. His thick eyebrows furrowed, and from his position, they framed his eyes, making his already sharp features sharpen even more. He liked wearing his hair brushed back and out of his eyes lately, the length not quite ready to require a cut, but annoying enough to make Mingi complain about it every once in a while, “See?”
He stood up straight, his height almost intimidating as he leaned forward, shaking the glasses in front of my face before he wore it, the rim thick, boxy, and black. The shape suited his face and softened the intimidating features he was born with, making him look cute. I reached forward, hip digging into the counter, to push the glasses further up on his nose because he had a habit of looking above the glasses instead of through like he was supposed to. Mingi pouted at the action but leaned into my touch, his plush lips jutted out reminding me of our adolescent days when he was nothing but a sulky boy, hating his round-rimmed glasses and always complaining about his school uniform, which didn’t fit him because it was a hand me down. It had taken a few years of maturing for Mingi’s muscles to grow out, strengthened by Pilates, his guilty pleasure as he liked saying. The few classes I accompanied him had me convinced that Pilates was invented for those who craved to have their muscles burning for days, a sort of masochism that I found no joy in.
“You should wear it more often,” I noted, raising an eyebrow as Mingi playfully rolled his eyes, “before your eyesight worsens, of course.”
“Right,” He mock-saluted, leaning just a bit over the counter to be closer to my face, “You’re starting to sound more like my mother each day, Y/N, it’s a bit freaky.”
I chuckled and rolled my eyes, reaching out to flick his forehead, but he knew me too well and dodged my inoffensive attack in time. But before I could retract my arm, he grabbed my wrist with his large hand and brought it down to the counter, gently keeping it in place as his larger hand caged mine against the surface. It was a small effort to make physical contact and I didn’t hate it, I rather enjoyed the small moments of intimacy we could share freely when it was just the two of us. Mingi was an affectionate person, he didn’t shy away when he needed a hug or just a little bit of support, arms wide open and eyes soft as he batted his long eyelashes at you. I hummed and basked in the peace that enveloped us around, something we both enjoyed on quieter days. There was no need for loudness or boisterous behaviour, we already knew who the other was, and there was no need to show off anything.
“Let me play the role of a concerned mother for a bit longer, then,” Mingi snorted, glancing at the clock on the wall to make sure he didn’t keep the coffee shop closed for longer than the program said, “Did you start your research on your final coursework?”
Mingi liked to stay ahead of his assignment deadlines, but sometimes laziness got to him like to any other person. But he hated having to hurry and half-ass his work so that rarely happened. Unless he was loaded with coursework, his assignments would be handed in weeks before their deadline.
“Yes and no,” Mingi sighed, his soft fingertips gently tracing my skin, “I’m supposed to meet with my coordinator this week so that we agree on a subject, I have too many ideas to choose from and I know he’s not fond of research that goes past the twentieth century.”
I nodded, taking a larger sip of my coffee, I could already feel it rejuvenate me, the sleep was gone from my eyes and my body felt less sluggish. It’s a wonder I even managed to get out of bed today, “And let me guess, you want something that deals with the nineteenth century, huh?”
“You know me too well,” Mingi chuckled with a shake of his head, taking his hand off mine as he reached out, swiping his thumb over the corner of my mouth. I looked down at my cup of coffee and ignored the skip of my heartbeat, my cheeks feeling a bit warmer than before, “Maybe I’ll manage to convince him, who knows…what about your day? Do you have a lot of work to do?”
“Not that much, we got three commissions this weekend for five pieces, I’m hoping to get the larger necklace done today,” I answered, glancing at the clock on the wall, and realised I’d have to leave in five minutes if I wanted to make it to the store before it opened.
“You’re always quick, I’m not worried about it.” Mingi winked with a bit of a struggle and I smiled, humming because I knew he was right. I had been making jewellery for a long time now, I was becoming faster and faster at crafting lately, it was rather a blessing since we could have plenty of orders coming in on busier days.
“I’m going to go now,” I said as I grabbed my bag off the floor, throwing it around my shoulder as Mingi nodded, grabbing the keys to come and unlock the entrance door for me, “Are you coming over tonight?”
“Yeah, want me to bring anything?” Mingi asked as he came around the counter and linked our pinkies together while we walked to the door. I quickly did a mental check if I had everything we’d need for our movie night, then remembered that I was out of popcorn…the most important snack of the night.
“Buy some butter-flavoured popcorn, I forgot to grab some yesterday.” Mingi nodded as he unlocked the door, playfully tugging on my pinkie when I went to open it. I glanced back with raised eyebrows and he shrugged, looking down to the floor like a kicked puppy. I chuckled and squeezed his pinkie back, pulling my hand away as I finally pushed the door open, “Don’t pout, I’ll see you later, yeah?”
Mingi hummed as he came to the door and leaned against it as I exited, giving me a small smile, “See you, have an easy day.”
“You too, Mingi.” I waved before turning around to head down the street, which was slowly filling up with cars and people as the city awoke, the sun higher in the sky. I could feel Mingi’s eyes on the back of my head, and I didn’t have to turn around to know he’d stay in the doorway, watching me until I crossed the crosswalk and turned the corner, disappearing from sight. The thought of having someone who cared for my safety and looked out for me wasn’t too bad, but I thrived on my independence and wouldn’t have struggled if Mingi wasn’t so sweet to look out for me. Even so, the lingering warmth in my chest due to his attentiveness wasn’t too disheartening.
By noon, the city had fully awoken and was bustling with restless people going on about their day. The jewellery store I worked at was on a side street, so, we were away from the rambunctious traffic and the impatient drivers that honked their car’s horns at the smallest inconvenience. That didn’t mean, however, that our store was one filled with quiet and calm, it was quite the opposite if our clients proved to be teenage girls looking for beaded friendship bracelets, or colourful rings with gemstones of which attributes they didn’t know about so they asked me or my boss, who was a lovely lady in the forties. She had untameable ginger hair and fiery red lips, her earrings always colourful hoops and her outfit the colours of the rainbow. She was full of energy and life, filling the shop with her radiance much like the sun filled our hearts on a cold winter day. I loved working with her, she saw beauty in everything and offered anyone a chance when they felt useless or good for nothing.
Her store, much like herself, mirrored the same brightness its owner carried. The walls were a light orange with yellowy rays painted on the opposite wall to the entrance, mimicking the warm sun beaming down on Earth through the clouds. Wooden shelves were set up across from the front desk, framing the walls with quirky designs that held the handmade jewellery we worked on day, and sometimes even at night. The floorboards were a rusty copper, and much to everyone’s surprise upon a first encounter with the store, a gorgeous Persian carpet was laid down with intricate design that just brought the aesthetic of the whole place together. The back room was small and hidden behind a beaded curtain right behind my back, offering a perfect escapade when the day was getting too long and the customers were too demanding. Incense always burned, coating the store in a woody scent that felt refreshing but sometimes nauseating if my boss left it on for too long, the ceiling fan thankfully dispersed the strong scent evenly.
The store wasn’t huge, but it felt inviting even upon one glance, and our customers felt cared for whenever they entered and we listened to their requests closely. Having landed this job was just as random as me deciding one day that I wanted to attend a Fine Arts course, focusing more on crafts and clay making. The few vases I had designed were displayed on the higher shelves where it was harder to reach and accidentally break them, my boss was more than happy to sell those too in her store. We both contributed with a little something of ours to the store and that’s why it worked out so nicely, just two fundamentally different people who enjoyed the same arts were brought together to attempt to make something beautiful and long-lasting.
I was tying the knot to the custom-made bracelet one of the teenagers had asked for when her friend walked up to the front desk, eyebrows furrowed and phone in her hand. She held two crystals in her palm, looking at them sceptically.
“Which one is the rose quartz?” She asked, her voice loud and a little rough as she let the crystals fall onto the glass counter. I glanced down at them and pointed at the clearer one on the left.
“That’s a clear quartz, the other one,” My burgundy nail pointed at the pinkish crystal, “is the rose quartz. Which one are you looking for?”
“Rose quartz,” She answered quickly, pushing at the rose quartz with narrowed eyes, “Is it true that it attracts love? Will I find a boyfriend if I wear it all the time?”
“Depends, are you a Taurus or Libra?” I asked as I leaned back in my chair, my boss was on her break and, meanwhile, she knew more about crystals, I had learned this and that from her throughout the years I’ve worked here.
“Not really…” The girl muttered as she shared a look with her friend, who had taken the bracelet I made for her to try it on. The strings I used were yellow and brown, a nice combination of colours, personally not my favourite, but it worked well with her complexion and it was also what she had asked for.
“Well, I heard it’s better if you have Venus in your chart if you want to wear a rose quartz,” I hummed, looking up at the ceiling in thought before I shrugged, “Rose quartz is good for emotional healing too, not just attracting love. But if you think it will help, you could try it out…”
“Do you believe it works?” The girl asked, her eyes just slightly widening. I chuckled, deciding to be honest with her.
“No, but that’s just me. Maybe it’ll work for you.” The girl just nodded, looking at her friend for another opinion. She just shrugged and told the girl to do whatever she wished. Their third friend walked up to the counter and told them that she wouldn’t buy anything today, so they could head out if everyone was ready to leave.
“I’ll buy it.” The girl said as she placed the crystal on the counter and I nodded, grabbing a small plastic wrap for her to store it in until she got home. I scanned the items and told the two girls the price of their purchase, watching them with amusement as they left the store in a hurry, words leaving their mouths in a hurry before they were even out of the store. I settled back into my chair and grabbed my bottle of water to take a gulp, my fingers aching just slightly from the various jewellery I had managed to make until now. The shop was rather busy today and my boss was excited as she whirled around, helping customers out with choosing items for themselves or as gifts.
My phone pinged before I could reach for it, and Mingi’s name lit up my screen as I unlocked it. I tapped on our messaging app and opened our conversation, gasping quietly when I was presented with a picture of a black and white spotted cat, emerald eyes staring curiously into the camera, head tilted to the side in wonder. Its ears were pointed backwards and I could practically hear Mingi cue at it. He loved kittens more than anything and had always wished to buy one, but he thought he was too busy right now to care for another little life besides his.
Mingi: Look how cute she is!! I’ve been feeding her for two weeks now, I’m 100% sure she knows who I am. I’ve named her Genie, isn’t she just so adorable? Me: Man, she really is adorable! I wish she was around when I’m at the shop, pet her in my place too! Genie because she grants wishes?
Mingi: Not more adorable than me, right?? I bet she’d love you too…but I’m her favourite, I just know it. I wanted to name her Greenie at first, but that felt weird. Genie, however, isn’t too bad. No reason for why I gave her that name, though… Me: I think she might be more adorable than you, Mingi… Wait until she meets me, you won’t be her favourite anymore, mister… Your mind sometimes is a mystical place, Mingi, I wonder what goes on inside of it
Mingi: Well, right now I’d like to be in your arms sitting on the couch or something… Something like…being the little spoon because I fall asleep faster when you wrap yourself around me… That’s what I’m thinking about right now instead of making sure I don’t burn the next batch of apple pies, do you want me to put some aside for tonight? Me: You are so cheesy, Mingi, anyone else would block you… I knew you liked being the little spoon, now I even have receipts of it, hah! I had muffins yesterday, so no thank you! Now stop texting and focus on your work, man. Mingi: Right, see you later, woman. Muawh
I chuckled and shook my head, setting my phone to the side with a smile on my face as I opened the new email we had gotten while I was texting Mingi. Seems like the week just started and we’d barely have any time to breathe between all these commissions.
My living room was covered in darkness aside from the flashing lights of the TV, the movie playing at an acceptable volume to not disturb the neighbours or deafen us. The blanket was fluffy and draped over our legs, mine pulled underneath me while Mingi’s were propped up on the coffee table. His legs were long enough to reach it if stretched out, and I might have envied him for that for a long time. Our hands were intertwined underneath the blanket and placed on Mingi’s thigh, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing against my knuckle every once in a while. Our shoulders brushed together and I would shift around from time to time, to try and keep my ass from going sore. Mingi, on the other hand, had no issue keeping his initial posture for hours on end. The blackout curtains were drawn together to offer us privacy since I only lived on the second floor, and the butter-flavoured popcorn Mingi had brought had been long eaten.
We had been watching the movie in silence for over an hour now with the occasional commentary coming from Mingi about how cool Captain America was. No matter how many times we’ve seen this movie, it never got old or boring. Perhaps it was Chris Evans’ face that made the viewing more pleasurable, alongside Scarlett Johanson, but we were both pretty hooked on the plot despite knowing what came next. There were small easter eggs that we hadn’t noticed before, so there was always something new that one of us accidentally discovered during our rewatches. I felt warm all cosied up next to Mingi, a bit even sleepy as his familiar cologne eased my tense muscles after the long day I’d had. My wrists were sore from all the crafting at the store today, I had even brought home a bracelet that I had to finish for tomorrow. I was too tired to work on it now, but I could thankfully get it done in the morning in thirty minutes.
As if Mingi had read my thoughts, he grabbed my wrist with both hands and slowly started rubbing it, creating heat and gently massaging the tense muscles of my hand. I smiled and playfully grabbed at his fingers, making him chuckle under his breath as the Winter Soldier appeared on the screen for the first time, the car the characters had been using now nothing but a mess of scrapes. I could see Mingi angle his body towards mine from my peripheral, and he licked his plump lips before he cleared his throat.
“I’ve been thinking…” He started quietly, his forehead slightly creasing as his eyes bled into the side of my head. I turned my head away from the TV, familiar with the scene already. The light lit up Mingi’s face, his glasses creating a tiny shadow over his face as I raised my eyebrows at him to prompt him to continue, “So, we’ve both been working hard, and I could use a vacation before my last exams come up. I know I should be studying, but at this point, I feel like I could recite any textbook you hand me, I really need a break. You’ve also been working a lot, and you didn’t take vacation off last year, so…”
I hummed, curious as to where this was headed, “So?”
“Let’s get away for a few days, I’ve been looking for a nice little cabin somewhere in the mountains. Not too far though, I know you don’t like long car rides.” Mingi grabbed my other hand and started massaging that one too, making me sigh in contentment as my hands now tingled with warmth, the tenseness gone from them.
“Just the two of us?” I raised an eyebrow, the idea actually sounded appealing. I could use a break from the hustle and bustle of the city.
“Yeah, just us.” Mingi nodded, smiling a little as I contemplated his offer for a second. I would have to visit my mother before we left, and I’d have to let my boss know in time, but other than that, it sounded like a plan to me.
“Sure, I’d love that.” I smiled and Mingi’s eyes lit up, fingers intertwining with mine as he squeezed our hands together. I chuckled at his excitement and let my eyes run over his face, taking in the softness in his eyes and the curve of his gorgeous mouth. Something in my gut coiled as my hands continued tingling with electricity, and I licked my lips as I leaned forward, eyes set on Mingi’s parted lips. He mirrored my actions and leaned forward, closing the distance between us confidently. His lips were warm as always and faintly tasted like the marshmallows he kept stuffing himself with not even half an hour ago, another guilty pleasure he seemed to have. This one, however, I could understand and even support.
Our bodies leaned closer as I raised my free hand to hold his jaw, tilting his head slightly back so that our lips pressed together a bit firmer. Kissing him always brought a wave of excitement, an electrifying spark running up my spine as our lips moved languidly, taking their time since there was no reason to hurry. He was sweet and gentle even with his kisses, always allowing me to set the pace as his teeth nipped at my bottom lip, his long nose digging into my cheek. Mingi wasn’t a messy kisser but he had never shied away from a little saliva, and there was nothing he loved more than tracing his tongue against mine, sucking on it to deepen the kiss even more as he brought me halfway into his lap. Our hands parted as I grabbed his shoulder and swiped my tongue against his, a content sigh catching in the back of Mingi’s throat as his hand pressed into the small of my back, warm and burning through the fabric of my thin blouse. I could never get tired of his lips, sometimes kissing Mingi was so disorienting that we’d lose track of time, our lips almost as if glued to each other.
Inhaling through my mouth, I let Mingi press small kisses to my chin and mouth, muttering something I couldn’t understand before I captured his lips again, adding just a bit more passion into it as I felt a suffocating emotion build in my chest, heavy and demanding as if having Mingi like this wasn’t good enough. I had always craved more despite having everything I could ask from him, it seemed that I hadn’t been fully satiated just yet. It was a peculiar feeling, but I couldn’t ignore the fire and knot in my stomach anymore as he lapped at my tongue, his fingers gently holding my jaw as if he was afraid I’d slip away. Tonight was a slow evening, I was content with being in his arms, content in wrapping myself in a cocoon of safety that helped me forget the hardships the day had brought with itself. Pulling apart, I pressed a chaste kiss against his swollen lips and cradled his cheek, feeling how warm it was. Before I could completely pull back and sit back next to him, Mingi grabbed my arm as he readjusted himself on my spacious couch, opening his legs up so that I could sit between them. I climbed over his leg and settled down, adjusting the blanket around us so that it would keep his legs warm too as Mingi’s arms wrapped around my torso, nose nuzzling into my nape as he exhaled loudly.
“Do you think Natasha and Steve should’ve ended up together?” He asked quietly, mumbling it into my skin, and I laughed, looking back at the TV.
“I think they were too different for it to work out, and Steve was still in love with Peggie,” I answered truthfully, watching Chris Evans lean against the doorframe in nothing but a muscle white tee, a few bruises here and there, jeans, and a white towel to clean his hands in.
“I think Natasha would’ve been able to show him a new world, I wanted them together.” I didn’t have to look to know that Mingi was pouting, I could hear it in his voice.
“You say that every time we watch this movie.”
“Right, my thoughts won’t change on a random afternoon.”
I chuckled as silence fell upon us once again, wrapped around in the blanket and Mingi’s warmth, with his arms around my body, I felt the safest. It was a weird feeling that never developed into something I could completely understand, but there was something about Mingi’s presence that made me feel at ease, like the earth outside us would keep on turning around its axis and we wouldn’t miss out on anything because here, in each other’s arms, we had everything we needed. It was something I had never felt with anyone else, not even with my ex-boyfriend I thought I would end up marrying. There was something so gentle about the silence between Mingi and me, the understanding without spoken words, the warmth of a simple caress, the reminder that we were there for each other by the simplest things only made my chest tighten as the TV screen blurred, making me wonder whether I had gotten teary-eyed or just extremely sleepy.
Here in Mingi’s arms, in a dark living room lit up by the movie that we were watching for the nth time, I wondered if I could ever again trust that love existed, trust that there was indeed a person that was yours, meant to be with you without hurting you. I wondered if Mingi ever thought about it, if he wondered where his person was. Perhaps he didn’t care about such things and that’s why he wasted his days away by my side, smiling from ear to ear with glimmering eyes full of hope and something I could never truly understand. I grinned when I felt his feet rub against mine playfully, it was his way of letting me know that he wasn’t so lost in the movie that he wasn’t aware of me anymore. I sighed and relaxed into Mingi’s body, letting the doubtful thoughts and feelings simmer in a deep cavern of my heart for the rest of the evening.
>> next chapter
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(It Is) What It Is
Chapter One
Plot Summary : When Billy Russo realises that there is a certain class of wealthy clients who refuse to contract with Anvil because of his playboy reputation, he decides to alter their perception of him. You’re just a down on your luck PA, just trying to get by so when Billy offers to pay you to pretend to date him, you can’t refuse. But the last thing you expect is for Billy to pull you into his secret world of lust and debauchery.
Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader
Story Rating : R
Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Nothing noteworthy on this chapter. There will be smutty themes throughout the story. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.
Word Count : 5.7k
A/N : I'm so excited to finally be able to share this one! Hope you all enjoy it!
Master List
Chapter One
Just smile and, eventually, you’ll find your reason to smile.
It was something your mother had always told you as a child, sadness filling her eyes every time a frown dared to cross your little face. You grew up believing it was a sage piece of wisdom, but the older you got, the more it started to seem like nothing more than an unhealthy coping mechanism.
But, still, you smiled.
If nothing else, you’d come to learn that it was easier to force a smile to your lips and pretend that the whole world didn’t feel like it was going to hell around you. Especially between the hours of 8am and 5pm.
Every morning was the same; you got up, got ready, and took the subway to work. You went out of your way to be a polite and conscientious commuter, taking up as little space as possible and making sure no one but you could hear the music playing through your headphones. Sure, your polite behaviour did nothing to stop you being shoved and elbowed, nor did your example to be quiet convince any of the finance-bros to stop yelling into their phones right beside you, but at least it made you feel like you weren’t an asshole.
Even on the street, on your two block walk to the office, you were mindful; never walking too fast or cutting in front of anyone, and never slowing down and inconveniencing anyone walking behind you.
For all intents and purposes, you were just there. You existed but you were never an obstacle or cause for annoyance. A side-character, an NPC in someone else’s story, no delusions in your mind about being the main character.
God, what a sad and boring story it would be if you were the main character.
As per your usual morning routine, you stopped off at the little independent coffee shop across the street from Anvil. The Bean Grinder - a name that had earned some ridicule from your boss when you’d admitted to going there. (‘The Bean Grinder? It sounds more like a dating app’ he’d said, grinning that ridiculous grin.) But, after a few mornings of steaming hot Americanos and fresh pastries, he’d grudgingly had to admit that he was a fan.
So, it had become the norm every weekday, first thing in the morning and, again at lunch times, if you didn’t have time to pack a lunch for yourself. And, now, six months into your job with Anvil, the baristas knew you well enough to have your order ready to go - though, today, you had to inconvenience them by asking for an extra coffee.
Coffees and pastries precariously balanced in your hands, you crossed the street, shuddering at the ice cold wind and moving as fast as you dared towards the office. Once in the foyer, you began to awkwardly fumble for your keycard, when a hand appeared, relieving you of the tray of coffees.
“Thanks Carl,” you said as you rummaged through your pockets. “How are the kids? Did Lyra’s clarinet recital go well?”
The security guard beamed, his face lighting with a genuine warmth for you. You’d always tried to make an effort with the people you worked with, never knowing when you might need a favour - even if that favour was just someone to hold a tray of drinks while you found your keycard.
“She did amazing. I recorded the whole thing, I’ll have to show you when you’ve got a minute.”
Smiling, you told him how much you’d like that as you finally pulled out your keycard and tapped it against the reader. You stepped through the barrier and thanked Carl as he handed you the tray of drinks, and headed for the elevator.
As you stepped onto the lift, you took a breath and let your smile falter, enjoying the briefest moment of respite before you’d have to spend the rest of the day forcing your happy, professional demeanour.
And, as it turned out, your brief reprieve was even briefer than expected as a hand stopped the elevator doors from sliding shut and a man stepped on.
“Good morning, Mr Castle,” you said, bright and perky as always. Exactly what was expected of you.
He bristled slightly and looked about ready to remind you that he’d prefer to be called Frank but seemed to think better of it. After six months, you assumed that he’d finally started to understand that you were more comfortable referring to him as Mr Castle.
“Mornin’,” he grumbled in his usual, gruff tone.
The elevator doors slid shut and, for a few seconds, you were left thinking that the entire ride to the top floor would be spent in silence, but then you remembered the coffees in your hand.
“Oh, that one’s for you,” you said, indicating the large takeout cup at the front of the tray. “Large Americano with an extra shot, cream, but no sugar, right?”
He looked at you with a mixture of shock and confusion that had you wondering if you’d sprouted a second head for a few seconds. Unlike Mr Russo, he didn’t have a PA and he barely even bothered the secretary who was assigned to him, so he always seemed a little taken aback whenever you did anything for him.
“You got me a coffee?” He asked, taking the coffee from you and lifting it to his nose to sniff.
“I know you and Mr Russo have a meeting scheduled first thing,” you said, shrugging, “and he won’t want to start until he’s had his morning coffee and pastry, so...”
That got a laugh from him, a rare sound that always seemed like it had sharp edges, but a laugh nonetheless, so you decided to mark it down as a win.
“Yeah, he’s never been much of a morning person.”
That was something you could agree with. Billy Russo was a man of moods and, while it had initially taken you some time to learn his routines and figure out when he tended to be more approachable, you’d learned your way around him now.
That was something you could agree with, but you’d quickly learned your way around the man and his moods, knowing what times and which days he was more approachable, and doing your best to keep your head down the rest of the time. It wasn’t difficult, even if Billy Russo was considered difficult by a lot of people who knew him.
“He have you fetchin’ coffee for him every day?” Mr Castle asked, though you couldn’t tell if he was just trying to make conversation or if he was genuinely curious.
You offered up another shrug. “It’s part of the job. Besides, I stop off for coffee on my way in anyway, at least this way I get to put it on the corporate card.”
Fortunately, the stilted conversation was short lived and the elevator doors slid open. You gave him a look before glancing towards Mr Russo’s office door.
“I’ll go check if he’s ready for you,” you said, pausing only to put your bag down and to shrug out of your coat at your desk.
You took a second to smooth down your blouse and skirt, and to make sure your hair wasn’t in too much of a state from the wind, before grabbing his coffee and the bag of pastries. Your knock on his door was met with the usual grumbled ‘come in’ and, as you stepped into his office, you forced the smile back to his lips.
Not that he saw your smile.
His back was to you, his eyes fixed out of the window, looking at the city - or maybe it was the weather that had his attention. You didn’t ask, figuring that it was really none of your business.
“Good morning, Mr Russo,” you said, heading towards his desk. “I’ve got your morning coffee and a couple of bear claws, and Mr Castle is waiting outside for your morning meeting.”
“Thank you,” he said, lingering at the window a moment longer before finally turning towards you. “Can you send Frank in and grab the files I asked you to prepare yesterday?”
“Of course, sir.”
You did as you were asked, sending Mr Castle in while you got the files from your desk. By the time you made it back into Mr Russo’s office, both men were perched on his desk, drinking their coffees and eating bear claws.
“However much he’s payin’ you, it’s not enough,” Mr Castle grinned at you, and that had the forced smile on your lips becoming something far more genuine.
It wasn’t so much that Mr Russo didn’t appreciate what you did for him - you knew that he did - it was more that he wasn’t particularly vocal about it. But you’d heard the horror stories of the PAs who’d come before you, the ones who’d quit mere weeks into working for him. At first you’d feared that it was him, that he was impossible to work for, but you’d quickly figured out that he wasn’t impossible, just... difficult.
There was a lot of reading between the lines when it came to Billy Russo, and a lot of your time was spent trying to anticipate what he might want or need at any given time; when he was in a bad mood you’d found that food often helped, and frustration was usually mitigated by redirecting him towards smaller, easier to deal with tasks to distract him.
It wasn’t easy but you’d figured him out and, now, things ran pretty smoothly.
“Here you go,” you said, placing the files on his desk beside him. “I took the liberty of colour coding them; the green tabs are the ones most likely to want to engage Anvil’s services based on the research, orange means they could be convinced, and -”
“And what about red?” Mr Russo asked, pulling a file from the bottom of the stack.
The only file with a red tab.
“Red means it’s extremely unlikely that they would choose to offer Anvil a contract and that they’re probably not worth the money and resources that it might take to change their mind,” you explained, trying to sound as clinical as possible.
“And why do you think the Van Der Koy family wouldn’t be interested in contracting with Anvil?” He asked.
Immediately your cheeks started to heat as you tried to find the easiest (read: safest) way to explain it.
The Van Der Koy’s were old money, with dozens of high end resorts, hotels and casinos across North America. They were a literal goldmine for anyone who got to work with them. Landing a security contract with them would be worth millions of dollars, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that that was the file that Mr Russo wanted to concentrate on.
But how were you supposed to tell him that he was the reason the Van Der Koy’s would never work with Anvil?
“Well, the Van Der Koy’s have very old fashioned family values - it’s not about the money, it’s all about appearances and reputation...” you said.
“And what’s wrong with Anvil’s reputation?” Mr Russo prompted.
“It’s not Anvil...” you tried to explain, your voice turning quiet.
“Then what?” He asked, a hint of frustration creeping into his tone.
“Jesus, Bill,” Frank said through a mouthful of pastry. “She’s tryin’ to be polite.”
There was a silence for a few moments before Mr Russo finally seemed to realise what was being said.
“You’re saying that they won’t contract with Anvil because of my reputation?” He asked, and you gave the smallest of nods. “What’s wrong with my reputation?”
“Sir, I really don’t think -”
“You can’t expect her to answer that,” Frank said, speaking at the same time as you.
He looked from you to Mr Castle and back again, as if he really had no clue what you could possibly mean.
“I won’t get angry or blame you,” Mr Russo said. “I just want to know what you know.”
You didn’t want to answer, but you knew that you had to.
“Well, from what I was able to learn, it’s... it’s everything,” you said, unable to even look him in the eye as you explained. “The parties, the women - it sends a certain, uh... message...”
It felt like his gaze was burning into you as you fixed your eyes on his desk and the stack of files.
“What message?” He asked.
“She’s sayin’ the uptight, old money folks don’t like that you’re a fuck-boy who spends all his time with bimbos, Bill,” Mr Castle answered for you. “Now, could you stop makin’ her feel uncomfortable about it and let her do her damned job?”
Mr Russo’s gaze softened a fraction when he noticed your obvious discomfort, and he opted to remain silent instead of continuing with all of the questions you were certain he still had. Some part of you even dared to feel bad, almost wanting to tell him that it was okay, that he could continue to question you but that you didn’t have any answers that he might want to hear.
The truth was, while you had your opinions about his social life, when it came to his work and to his company, Billy Russo was nothing short of a consummate professional, and it felt like a shame that anyone might discount his work because of how he liked to spend his free time.
“Thank you for your input,” Billy said, finally dismissing you. “I’d like my lunch at one today, and could you forward any updates to my schedule to me?”
You gave the standard ‘yes, Mr Russo. Of course, Mr Russo’ and quickly made your exit, holding in a sigh of relief until his office door was shut behind you and you were safely back at your desk.
You opened your laptop to start your day, immediately disappointed to find that your own coffee had started to go cold while you’d been in Mr Russo’s office. It wasn’t the first time, and you were certain it wouldn’t be the last, but you’d always just found something so depressing about a lukewarm latte first thing in the morning.
At least you were fairly certain that the detailed notes you’d made on each of the files would be enough to keep him from needing to solicit your opinion again, so you should be able to get through your daily mountain of emails and adjustments to his schedule before having to think about his lunch.
And that was the best part of your job; that you could lose yourself in it. It was nice, easy for the most part, now that you’d settled into a rhythm - the only difficult part of the job was the man himself. In the past, you’d struggled with office jobs, always wanting to be everything to everyone and ending up taking on far more than you could handle.
Not that you were a pushover - no, you didn’t like to think of yourself in those exact terms - you just liked it when everyone around you was happy and content, because god only knew you had your own problems to deal with.
But, thankfully, things were different at Anvil. The management floor was Mr Russo’s private kingdom and, most days, it was just the two of you up there. And, on good days, it was just you. And, because of that, you were separate, able to work without interruption. Oh, sure, you still spoke to people, still got to know them, like Carl in security, but you were far enough removed that no one came to you asking for help or wanting to vent their issues.
In fact, being Mr Russo’s PA made a lot of people wary about asking you for anything because they knew just how important your time was.
All in all, the only thing you really had to contend with were Mr Russo’s moods and they didn’t stress you out nearly as much as they used to. You’d even go as far as saying that, for the first time in years, you were in a job that felt secure, safe. And that was something that mattered to you far more than you’d ever dare admit out loud.
After about an hour, Mr Castle left Mr Russo’s office but, instead of heading straight for the elevator, he approached your desk, causing you to automatically sit a little straighter.
“You okay?” He asked. “Know that probably wasn’t the most comfortable for you in there.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” you quickly answered,” it’s all part of the job. I just -”
About to say something completely unadvised and unprofessional, you barely managed to stop yourself. But it was too late, he fixed you with a questioning look and it was clear he was trying to fight back a smile while he decided if you’d break under interrogation.
(And, yes, you absolutely would. There was no doubt in your mind that you’d crumple like a house of cards if you were placed under extreme questioning.)
“You what?” He prompted.
The only thing keeping you from panic was the fact that he didn’t sound angry or annoyed, just curious. He’d never heard you speak out of turn before and he seemed a little excited at the prospect.
Your cheeks started to heat and you bit your lip for a second.
“I just -” you glanced nervously towards the office door, making sure it was shut before continuing, “- well, I just always assumed that he knew how people saw him. Not that it’s my place, because I don’t -”
He cut off your attempt to - what? Apologise? Put a more professional spin on things?
“He does and he doesn’t,” he said, offering a shrug. “That’s the problem with Bill; he cares about appearances but he always forgets that sometimes he has a different idea of how a rich guy should be than people like the Van Der Koy’s.”
Cryptic.
Cryptic and entirely unhelpful.
Though it fit well with what you actually know about your boss. Sure, you could usually guess when he was in a bad mood and when he wanted to be left alone, but as a person he was as much of an enigma to you as anyone. Fortunately, knowing and understanding the inner workings of Billy Russo was not necessary for you to do your job.
“‘s fine, don’t worry ‘bout it,” he continued, “either he’ll try to go for the VDK contract and end up wastin’ everyone’s time, or he’ll take your advice and focus on contracts he can actually get.”
You nodded, knowing it wasn’t really your place to voice an opinion on the matter. As Mr Castle said, you’d already done your part.
He gave you a nod before turning and starting towards the elevator, only to pause after a couple of steps and glance back.
“Those bear claws -”
“From The Bean Grinder across the street,” you answered the unasked question through the laugh that had managed to bubble up from seemingly nowhere.
“Thanks. Don’t let him work you too hard.”
Once he was gone, you returned to your work and spent the rest of the morning scheduling and rescheduling meetings for the coming month. Then it was time to order lunch and, because Mr Russo hadn’t stated a preference, it was up to you to decide for him. You weren’t sure of his mood since you hadn’t seen him since leaving his office hours before, so you decided to go for something safe, something he’d enjoy and that would improve his mood if he was still feeling sore about the Van Der Koy’s.
Spaghetti carbonara and tiramisu for dessert. A tried and tested combination.
Less than twenty minutes later, you had his lunch in hand and were at his office door, knocking lightly and waiting to be called in.
He was at his desk, the files you’d prepared still in front of him, the VDK file with its prominent red tag right at the top of the pile.
“I’ve got your lunch,” you said brightly, quickly starting to unpack his lunch.
He watched you with a strange sort of curiosity he’d never shown you before, his lips pulling into a smile when he noticed the tiramisu.
“Trying to make up for something?” He asked.
Despite his playful tone and the way he was smiling at you, the question had a nervous sort of tension filling you. You shot him a questioning look but couldn’t quite form the words to respond.
“You always bring me dessert when you think I’m in a bad mood,” he continued.
There was no keeping the confused shock from your face, just like there was no taming the wild thumping of your heart. In all the time you’d been working for him, you’d never once stopped to consider that he knew exactly what you were doing.
“Did you think I didn’t notice?” He asked, sounding thoroughly amused.
You were speechless and, for reasons you didn’t entirely understand, all you could think about was how his spaghetti carbonara was starting to get cold. (And, from where you were standing it smelled far too delicious to waste.)
“I just -” you swallowed awkwardly, trying to get rid of the lump in your throat, “- well, it’s my job to make sure you’re happy isn’t it? Am - am I in trouble?”
Surely not. Surely he couldn’t punish you for going out of your way to try and make his life easier, right? Your forced happy facade almost dropped and gave way to the panic that was starting to claw beneath your ribs, but your face remained a hopefully unreadable mask.
“In trouble? God, no,” he shook his head. “I’m just - what I’m trying to say is that you’re clearly good at reading people. At reading me.”
“Oh.”
What else could you even say to any of that? Did he even want you to say anything? It wasn’t like you were doing anything manipulative or nefarious. All you were doing was keeping him happy so your job was easier.
You almost breathed a sigh of relief when his attention dropped to his food, and you started to hope you’d be able to go back to your desk to try and forget any of this weirdness had happened. But, as he lifted his fork, his eyes caught yours again.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, Mr Russo.”
“Do you agree with what Frank said earlier?” He asked before taking a bite of his spaghetti.”Do you think the women I date send the wrong sort of message?”
“Oh, uh -”
The shocked little noises slipped out before you could stop yourself. All you could do was stare at him for a few seconds, wondering what you’d done in a past life to deserve the uncomfortable day that you were having.
“Hmm?” He prompted through a mouthful of pasta.
“I thought -” you forced a breath, “- I just assumed that you were going to ask me something... something more related to my actual job?”
Something about your obvious discomfort seemed to tickle him.
“I’d argue that if you have insight into why Anvil might potentially lose out on a massive contract that it would fall within the scope of your job,” he countered. When you didn’t answer straight away, he continued; “so should I take your silence to mean you agree with Frank?”
“No, that’s not -” you hesitated, trying to find the most professional way to answer, “- I don’t agree with everything he said.”
“No? Care to elaborate?”
“Well, I don’t think it’s fair to call a woman a bimbo just because she likes to wear expensive clothes and go to parties,” you said flatly. “And it’s really not my job to have opinions on how you spend your evenings.”
“But you do think it gives the wrong impression to people like the Van Der Koy’s?”
“The Van Der Koy’s built the VDK chain on traditional values, they avoid controversy and anything that will tarnish the VDK name, it’s what they’re known for. It’s their professional reputation,” you explained, forcing an awkward shrug. “And you’re - well, you’re not subtle. You make a scene wherever you go, whether you want to or not. Half the society gossip blogs have stopped asking who you’re dating and only concern themselves with who you’re fucking.”
You could feel your cheeks burning hotter with every word. You didn’t want to have to say any of it and, honestly, it was making you feel awful, but you were starting to realise that he really didn’t understand how he was perceived. But, of course, he didn’t - he was rich and attractive, and while many people might want to write him off because of it, there were just as many who accepted and wanted that side of him.
It just seemed that this was the first time he was hearing a no that he couldn’t throw money at or change with his smart mouth.
“So, you’re saying I should settle down and clean up my act if I want to convince them to take me seriously and offer Anvil their security contract?”
You let slip an exhausted sigh, feeling like he was only hearing half of what you were saying to him. “I’m saying that it’s probably a waste of time to even try at this point. The other files I -”
“Thank you for your input, it’s been very informative,” he interrupted, not caring about the other files or potential clients now that he had VDK in his sights. “And, thank you for my lunch - I really do appreciate everything that you do for me.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Quickly, you started towards the door, desperate to get out of there before he could ask your opinion on anything else. You held your breath all the way back to your desk, the burning in your lungs giving you the dreadful confirmation that all of that had really just happened and you weren’t having some bizarre, anxiety induced dream.
Fortunately, for the rest of the day, you were left alone. He had a couple of brief meetings in the afternoon that had him out of the office and, when he returned, he seemed too lost in thought to cause you any more awkwardness.
Bu, as you started to pull your coat on, getting ready to leave for the day, he all but burst out of his office like a man possessed. There was a nervous sort of energy about him that you hadn’t witnessed before, and it was more than enough to set you on edge.
“Oh, good, you’re still here,” he said. “I’ve got a proposition for you.”
Proposition? Your stomach automatically started to tie itself in knots at the word.
“What kind of proposition?” You asked cautiously, already sensing that nothing good was going to come from whatever he had to say.
“I want to take you out. On a date, just -”
“What? No - no, that’s not -” the words started to clumsily fall from your lips.
A weird panic quickly took hold of you and you couldn’t rightly say why. What had inspired it? What had suddenly changed?
You didn’t want to be one of the women he dated, you didn’t want to be on his arm one minute and then kicked to the curb the next. What had you done to make him believe that you were worth that sort of treatment?
Not to mention the fact that it was entirely unprofessional and it would make it impossible for you to keep your job. A job that you happened to like.
“No-no-no, not like that,” he said quickly, almost sounding as panicked as you felt (and that didn’t exactly help you feel better). “Not like - I don’t mean for real.”
Oh.
Suddenly, your reaction seemed very silly and your panic was quickly replaced by confusion and an odd sense of numbness.
Of course Billy Russo didn’t want to take you - plain, boring you - on a real date.
Your cheeks burned with a mixture of embarrassment and shame at how easily you’d let yourself believe something so utterly ridiculous.
“Then -” you struggled to find your voice again, “- what are you suggesting?”
“To get the VDK contract I need to make the Van Der Koy’s see me differently -”
It was like being dropped into ice cold water. Though you doubted he was actively trying to insult you, you were insulted nonetheless. He wanted to use you to rehabilitate his image because, unlike the other women in his life, you wouldn’t turn heads or cause drama. You were just you, plain and safe, average and inoffensive.
Inconsequential.
“You mean you want to lie to them? Pretend that you’ve settled down?” You asked (emphasis on the word settled) and shook your head. “I don’t think I’m comfortable with that.”
“I’ll pay you,” he added, almost managing to sound desperate. “Five hundred thousand for six months if Anvil gets the contract.”
Your jaw almost dropped and your heart stopped beating for a few seconds.
It was a lot of money, money that you really needed. It was almost enough to make you agree. Almost.
“Okay, just - let’s go back a couple of steps,” you said, still not sure what you felt about any of it. “You want to pay me to pretend to date you for six months just so you can win a contract?”
“Well, yeah, but it sounds sleazy when you say it like that.”
“Is there a way to explain it that doesn’t sound sleazy?”
Billy paused for a moment, clearly thinking about it. “You’re my PA, just think of it as assisting me out of office hours for overtime pay?”
That did make it sound better - not by much, and not enough to soothe your bruised ego.
“So, what? We’d pretend to date and if Anvil gets the contract we just break-up and go back to normal?” You asked, as you struggled in vain to wrap your head around the absurd idea.
“I’ll admit, there are a few things I’ve not entirely thought out, but if you -”
“No,” you said suddenly, coming to your decision. “I’m sorry Mr Russo, I can’t do that. I really don’t want to have to lie to that many people.”
He looked ready to argue, to try and convince you but that look quickly faded and he shrugged.
“You’re probably right,” he conceded. “It probably wouldn’t be enough anyway.”
Again, ouch.
“Right, well, if that’s all...” you trailed off, glancing longingly towards the elevator.
“Of course, sorry for keeping you.”
He didn’t wait for a response before disappearing into his office, closing the door behind him, and you didn’t waste any time heading to the elevator and getting out of the building as quickly as possible.
The next hour passed in something of a daze, stopping off to grab some groceries on the way home and having to listen to more loud and obnoxious finance-bros on the subway before you finally made it back to your apartment building.
Given the sort of day you were having, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that your mailbox was full of bills, but there was one in particular that caused your stomach to drop; a notice from Saint Martin’s Care Facility, informing you that their prices were going up.
It was enough to have you reaching for a bottle of wine and pouring yourself a very large glass as you sat down and went over your finances, trying to find a way to afford your brother's care that didn’t involve having to leave your apartment for somewhere cheaper or move him to another care facility. It was the same thing year after year but, this year, the price hike seemed particularly egregious.
You spend hours going over bills, wondering if cancelling Netflix or downgrading your phone contract would help. But, of course, it wouldn’t.
Your brother’s care had been your responsibility since you turned eighteen and, little by little, you’d managed to scrape together enough to give him the life that he deserved in a place you knew that he would be well cared for. You wouldn’t let anything change that.
After your third glass of wine, you started to allow yourself to think about Mr Russo’s offer, wondering if it would really be so terrible - and, if it was terrible, would you be able to endure it long enough to get paid?
Could you really afford to turn him down when there was so much at stake?
The next day, you woke with a headache, but also with a resolute idea of what you needed to do (because it definitely was a need and not a want). Your day started the same as it always did; an uncomfortable subway ride, a stop off at The Bean Grinder, then up to Mr Russo’s office.
He was already sitting at his desk, the VDK file still on top of the stack. He barely even looked at you and you weren’t sure if it was because he was busy with something or because he felt the same level of awkwardness about yesterday as you did.
Placing his coffee down, you lingered, trying to find the words while your cheeks started to warm.
Finally, he seemed to notice you just standing there and turned his attention to you, frowning.
“Is there something you need?” He asked.
“I - I’ve reconsidered your offer,” you said, hating yourself for letting it come to this.
“Oh?”
You could tell that he wanted some sort of reason or explanation for your sudden change of heart, but you weren’t prepared to give it; your brother was none of his business. So, you simply nodded, telling him all he needed to know - that he didn’t need to know anything at all.
“That is, if the offer’s still on the table?” You added awkwardly.
“It is,” he said, his lips pulling into a wide grin. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Tonight? You want to start tonight?”
Fuck. What had you just gotten yourself into?
A/N : That doesn't count as a cliffhanger!!! 😅 I hope you all enjoy the slightly different starting dynamic between reader and Billy with this one, I wanted to have them on good professional terms to start with to make it a lot more fun later on. I've not got much else to say since all of this chapter is just set up for what's to come.
Also anyone that submitted a request for my 500 follower celebration, I'm still slowly working through them, I just had to take a couple of days to make sure this chapter was ready on time!
As always, thanks so much for reading! I should be updating this every fic every Friday around 730pm GMT.
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@oliviaewl @lincerad @xxxsweetcarolinexxx @benbarnesprettygurl @dreadfulxives18
@danzer8705 @snowkestrel @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @intothesoul
#billy russo#billy russo x reader#billy russo x female reader#the punisher#billy russo fanfic#billy russo imagine#(ii)wii ff
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I LOVE YOUR HOUSE FICS
I really hope you’ll agree to write my request
Can you please write a Gregory house x reader in which they have a honeymoon or a just a romantic getaway to Paris that they have been planning for a while so reader tries to learn French between patients, (maybe reader is a department head as well?) and also practices at home; like during breakfast and in bed before they go to bed. Anyway, house being house makes fun of her and keeps telling reader to stop because he speaks multiple languages and reader gets annoyed at him and mad
Thanks in advance and have an awesome day ♥️
Est-ce Que Je Rougis?
Gregory House x Doctor Female Reader
Summary: In preparation for the trip of her dreams, Y/N decides to learn some French.
TW: Translations brought to you by Google Translate, House being House, playful arguing, annoyance.
Y/N and House had been married for three months and had finally gotten around to booking their honeymoon. Y/N had always wanted to go to Paris and House was happy to go along with her.
House already spoke the language and he could act as a translator for his wife. Y/N didn't like the idea and decided to start learning the language on her own.
Only problem, she sucked.
Y/N tried incredibly hard, but her pronunciations bordered on slander and House found it hilarious. Y/N got a few language apps on her phone and completed lessons daily both at work and home.
Whenever she had a break between patients, she would devote some time to learning the language. Y/N even watched videos online, desperately hoping to fix her pronunciations and better herself.
House couldn't contain himself when he heard her speaking French. He either laughed, made a joke or responded with the correct pronunciation, which was often met with a scowl.
House knew that the language apps were not setting her up to be able to hold a conversation, but he let her do whatever she wanted.
Y/N spent weeks working on her French, she sat with her back leaned against the headboard in their bed, mumbling along to her daily lesson. House could barely keep the smile off his face as she attempted multiple pronunciations, never voicing the correct one.
"Do you even know what you're saying right now?" He questioned.
"House, we've talked about this," She sighed.
"Est-ce que je rougis? Means 'am I blushing'? What good is that phrase gonna do you in a real conversation?" House asked.
"What about when someone asks if I'm enjoying life with my new husband? Oh, wait, he's already pissing me off," She said.
"If you want to learn a lanuage, you should take an actual class. The apps are just giving you random fluff," House said.
Y/N rolled her eyes, "Well, you always know what's best, don't you?" She muttered.
"I speak roughly eleven languages, when it comes to this, I know what I'm talking about. But you, my dear, have absolutely no clue what you're saying," House said.
"Then help me. Teach me," Y/N said.
"You sure you're interested in that?" House asked.
"If it keeps you from screwing with me, then yes," Y/N said.
"What if I do it for the sole purpose of screwing with you?" House questioned.
"That wouldn't be very nice and I might just offer to take Wilson to Paris instead of you," Y/N said.
"Fine, you got a deal," House nodded.
....
Y/N made her way into the bedroom, she crossed her arms as she looked at her husband. House glanced over at her from the tv, "Need something, honey?" He questioned.
"You were supposed to teach me French tonight. Did you forget?" Y/N asked.
"No, I was waiting for you," House said, turning off the television and setting the remote aside.
"Step into my classroom," He said, gesturing to the bed.
Y/N made her way to her side of the bed and climbed in, settling with her back against the headboard.
House scooted back across the mattress, leaning against the headboard. He reached out and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to himself.
"What are you doing?" Y/N questioned.
"I have a theory and I'm testing it," He said.
"Does your theory have anything to do with teaching me French?" Y/N asked.
"It does, I assure you. How do you introduce yourself in French?" He questioned.
"Bonjour, je m'appelle Y/N," She answered, he nodded.
House brushed her hair off her neck, pressing a gentle kiss to her skin. He brushed the tip of his nose against the side of her neck, breathing in the scent of her perfume. House pressed another couple kisses to her skin, his thumb slipping under the material of her top.
"W-what are you doing?" Y/N mumbled, suddenly feeling breathless.
"Teaching you. How do you ask where the restroom is?" House questioned.
Y/N huffed a laugh, "This is ridiculous," She muttered.
"Answer the question," House said.
"Où se trouvent les toilettes?" Y/N said.
He nodded, "Good," House mused, pressing another couple kisses to her skin. His hand slipped under her shirt, his palm feeling hot against her side.
"You're distracting me," Y/N stated.
"No, I'm rewarding you. Every right answer gets you some action, Missus House... Or we could skip the lesson and get right to what to really want," He offered.
"What do you think I really want?" Y/N questioned.
"You want to learn about another valued French art," He said.
"What would that be?" Y/N asked.
"Their kiss," House stated, turning her face towards his and connecting their lips.
...
Y/N had given up on her lessons after that night, instead choosing to let House do the translating when they went on their honeymoon. He liked the idea of being able to look out for his wife and it also helped that she loved to see him speak other languages.
Y/N sat across from him at their candlelit dinner in the heart of Paris. They had spent the day sightseeing, visiting well-known locations in the area. House struggled when it came to walking long distances or standing for any length of time, but he did what he could.
Y/N never pushed him, he wanted her to have every experience that she hoped to have and was willing to endure some discomfort for a few days. House asked Y/N what she wanted to eat, relaying it simply to the waiter in flawless French that had his wife swooning.
She stared at him from across the table, sipping on her glass of wine as she watched him speak. Languages came so easily to him that it was almost unfair.
House had always been good at sophisticated things, hunkering down and teaching himself whatever he could. House always had a thirst for knowledge and worked to master everything he didn't know. House looked up at his wife across the table, he smirked when he met her gaze.
"I like the look that you're giving me, Doctor House. But if you don't stop playing footsie with me, we're not going to make it through dinner," He said.
"Are you saying that you don't want dessert before dinner?" Y/N questioned.
"I would love nothing more, but I am pretty hungry. Athletes gotta fuel up," House said.
"Fine, I'll let you enjoy your dinner. Weather forecast calls for rain tomorrow anyway," Y/N said, taking a sip of her wine.
"Why would that matter?" House asked.
"I don't need my new husband slipping on wet concrete. I think it would be better to keep you safe in our bed instead," Y/N answered.
"That is the best idea you've ever had," House smiled, picking up his glass and lightly clinking it into his wife's.
The couple enjoyed their meal and shared a succulent dessert before returning to their room. They slept soundly throughout the night, waking up to the soft patter of raindrops on the windowpane.
As the weather forecast had predicted, rain poured down over Paris the next day. Y/N and House stayed in bed, tucked between the sheets together and ordering room service for every meal.
It was House's favorite day of the vacation, holding his wife close and kissing every inch of her body. He held her for hours, devoting an entire day to showing her how much he loved her. They hadn't had much time to themselves before their honeymoon and House had taken full advantage of that.
He was almost disappointed when their honeymoon finally came to an end, but he knew that he wouldn't forget their time together. He was pretty damn lucky to have the wife that he did, even if she was terrible at speaking French.
#james wilson#gregory house#house imagine#house md#house md imagine#gregory house x you#gregory house imagine#greg house imagine#gregory house x reader#greg house#gregory house x female reader#lisa cuddy#alison cameron#robert chase#james wilson x reader
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Supermassive Black Hole | Yuji Itadori
01: Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-all)
Werewolf Yuji x Vampire F! Reader
Words:2 k
Mainlist
She's in love with herself She likes the dark On her milk-white neck The Devil's mark...
Yuji Itadori was fucking annoying, with his stench of a Stinky dog and his noisy presence, he was too social, and outgoing as hell, he was always surrounded by people, he was a Completely magnet.
You, on the other hand, stayed away from all that hustle and bustle, you liked the quiet life, being the mystery of the town already gave you enough unsolicited attention so you didn't get too close to humans and preferred to surround yourself only with vampires from your clan.
You probably could have just ignored him the same way you did with the rest of his canine friends if it wasn't for the fact that Yuji was always watching you, you didn't know if he thought you were stupid or if he just didn't care but whenever he was around you could feel his eyes on you.
As much as his presence was annoying to you, you never approached him to confront, you didn't even look at him, you preferred to stay away from the werewolves, they were wild beasts, far inferior to humans and much more to vampires, not that you thought you were better, it was simply biology that confirmed it.
Although ypu both were in the same school, Yuji was only in 10th grade while you were in 12th, so you didn't share any classes, or that until the school forced you to take Extracurricular Classes and to your bad luck, the two of you chose the same, Now he regretted not having chosen a sport but it was too late for that.
Even if you were something that people would call supernatural or mystical, fate is not something you believe in, but that day Yuji decided to be late and coincidentally the only empty seat was the one next to you.
"Great." You heard him mumble under his breath as he entered the room, he reluctantly sat down next to you. You could hear his heavy breathing and the way his jaw tensed. You can't blame him you were also cursing internally.
While everyone was talking to their friends or introducing themselves to their new classmates You didn't say anything and he didn't either, but you could feel his intense gaze on you, he wasn't discreet, that was for sure.
"Did you miss something?" Your gaze was fixed in front, he did not retreat, nor did he turn his face or look away.
He leaned over you and whispered, you could feel his warm breath brush against your ear, you couldn't help but grimace.
"I don't like the Bloodsuckers."
"I know." And you didn't care because you didn't like the big dogs of the woods.
You always saw werewolves as ignorant and uncivilized creatures who were not able to camouflage themselves properly among humans, they were impulsive and emotional, the last thing you wanted was to cause a commotion.
They would never be vampires, even if they tried so bad.
"Stop making that face." the grimace of disgust on your face made him angry, he hated that you were so rude, he hated that you saw him as something to be trampled on.
"I can't help it, you suck." Yuji walked away from you, you heard him growl slightly.
You weren't trying to be rude, you were just too honest, wolves had a smell that vampires don't find pleasant at all and you had always felt that the scent of yuji was much more intense than other werewolves, you didn't find it entirely unpleasant, it was a different smell That you couldn't describe very well but when you mentioned it to Megumi he called you crazy and just said that all wolves smell like shit.
You made your way through the forest, this was not your territory, the vampires and wolves had well marked the line that each one was forbidden to cross, but the northern forest was running out of prey and the guardians were out of town so you thought that one or two deer would not be needed too much in the southern forest.
You were hungry, you went weeks without tasting blood and no matter how hard you tried you had reached your limit, this was it or you would end up biting someone.
Most vampires feed solely on animal blood, if they want to live among humans they must adapt to their lifestyle and not kill them just to get a little snack.
The dry leaves crunched under your shoes, autumn was not your favorite season but it was not the most unpleasant either.
"What are you doing here?" Yuji's voice interrupted your walk. You turned and looked at him face to face for the first time ever.
You ran his body from the bottom up, you had never paid attention to him, he was tall and muscular, wolves have superhuman strength but you can guess that Yuji has an extra in that "super". Maybe and just maybe Yuji had the most beautiful honey Brown eyes you'd ever seen. Well, maybe Yuji Itadori wasn't as unpleasant as you wanted him to be.
"Just taking a walk."
"Bloodsuckers are not allowed to enter this forest." he muttered.
You took a step towards him and instinctively he backed away, even if he wanted to maintain that defiant attitude he was intimidated by your presence more than he would like to admit.
You were intimidating, while any vampire was you, you crossed the line, you were scary but bewitching, you were pretty and attractive but also too mysterious and Haughty.
Yuji didn't understand how it was that no one had ever questioned if you were really human, there was no way that someone as mystical as you was a person.
"I'm not looking for a fight."
"Then get out of here." Your gaze made his voice tremble slightly but he didn't back down, standing as steady as he could, he wasn't going to let a simple leech scare him.
You were someone who avoided conflicts, you were too lazy for that, you were hungry but you didn't know if it was worth it.
If you had been the only one hungry, you would probably just get out of there, but your whole family was suffering from that lack of blood, and if they continued like that it would be completely disastrous.
"I will." You turned around to continue going into the forest, you planned to do what you had to do and then you would leave.
"Come here." He followed you, with three long steps he came to your side. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm hungry."
"Then go north."
"It's rare to see deer there this time of year."
"Well, I'm not going to let you hunt here." Yuji had been entrusted with the very important task of guarding the forest, it was the first mission he was given and he did not want to disappoint the leader.
He admired him, he hoped one day to be like him and take his role and for that he would have to show him that he is the perfect Successor.
Yuji wasn't violent, even if he looked like it from the way he growled at you and watched every move you do like a Predator, the reality is that he could never attack you.
"A deer won't make a difference to you." Yuji hated that you were being so stubborn and hard to scare, he wanted to command respect but you treated him as if you weren't even the slightest bit afraid probably because you really weren't.
He grabbed your wrist and made you stop, but he let go of you almost immediately.
"God, you're cold as a dead body."
"Wow, you discovered something that no one else could." He rolled his eyes, while it hadn't been the smartest comment because you were actually kinda dead, that didn't give you the right to be a complete smart-ass.
"You won't kill that deer but I can help you."
You Raised an eyebrow, you didn't know if he was playing or if he was just stupid but a werewolf would never offer help to a vampire. "How?"
You thought there must be a catch, things are never that easy and you doubted that he would do it just because of the goodness of his heart.
"I'll do it, I'll take the meat to take it to my house and you can keep the blood, it was going to be a waste anyway." Blood would never be a waste but someone as uneducated as he could never understand it.
There was no trick, Yuji was amble, even if you were a murderous monster to him, he couldn't deprive you of food, apart from that, you seemed too determined to do it with permission or not, so better be the one to take care of it and let no one find out that a vampire invaded the territory while he was supposed to be protecting it with his life.
It was an annoying day, well maybe having spent that afternoon with Yuji in the forest was more fun than you expected, maybe you laughed a couple of times, maybe he told you that you looked better without your bitter bitch face, maybe deep down you thought it had been nice.
But just maybe, because he was still a mad dog you'd never have around.
And to him you were a merciless bloodsucker that he was only going to tolerate.
The next day it was you who was late, you sat next to Yuji and once again his gaze was on you, but this time it was very different, he looked surprised and confused. You didn't understand what was happening, you thought that after having talked to you yesterday he would stop behaving like a bully.
"Did you miss something?"
"You look different."
"Is it a bad thing?"
"No but, God, you look perfect, it's terrifying." he had always found you terrifyingly pretty, there was something about you that made you stand out Even over the rest of the vampires, you were simply magical But right now you were perfect, not metaphorically, you literally looked perfect.
Your skin was much brighter, your eyes were brighter and more colorful, your cheeks were slightly pink, your hair was shinier, your lips were plumper.
It wasn't just that you had decided to change your makeup or hairstyle, you had made a 180° turn overnight.
"Thank you"
Yuji chuckled. "Conceited."
"More like realistic." You joked, not that you were the nicest in the world, you were aware of that but Yuji made joking feel easy.
"But really, what happened to you?" he was really intrigued, you could see in his eyes the same curiosity with which children ask those things they don't know.
"I hadn't fed for weeks and when that happens vampires usually look more dead, I guess I just revived." Blood not only helped them stay sane, It gave them life in some way, the blood lack had the same effect that lack of sleep and food would do to a human.
"Leech." You couldn't help but frown at that, to compare you to such a short animal was a complete disrespect to your ancestors and to yourself.
"Leech? Please, my lineage comes from Counts and kings, if anyone is going to be compared to something so low it should be you because the closest thing you have as cousins are dogs." A little smile appeared on Yuji's lips, you were arrogant and proud but adorable somehow.
"You know." He rests his face on his palm, while his little smile turns into an arrogant one." If I'm going to continue to help you, you should consider being a little kinder."
Don't ask him for help, you didn't think he would help you but it's not like you were going to complain, you needed to feed yourself and your family or probably everyone would go crazy.
And well, it's not that Yuji's presence was still Completely unpleasant for you.
#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jjk fluff#yuji fluff#yuji itadori x reader#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#yuji x reader#itadori x reader#jujutsu itadori#jjk itadori#jjk yuji
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"CUT THE CRAP"
SOOOO I WROTE ANOTHER FIC WITH TANGERINE
first of all I have to thank @gabrielemillers for letting me use this idea
I hope you like it!
(A photo of his hands because... do I need to explain it?)
You were supposed to hate him.
You hated the way he looked, the way he expressed himself, his eyes too bright to look at directly.
So how had you ended up sitting on his lap?
There was no explanation for it, it had just happened.
Lemon had gone to the dining car, leaving you two alone in the booth his boss had paid for. You had tried to steal their briefcase. Yes, the one they were supposed to protect from people like you.
Every few minutes Tangerine's gaze would focus on you and then look away again, as would yours, until you got tired.
"Stop looking at me."
"I'm not looking at you," he snorted. "Besides, who else do you want me to look at?" We're the only ones here, if we were in first class like normal people I'd be staring at the rest of the passengers and I wouldn't have to put up with you
-You can go if you want, I'll take care of the briefcase - you offered, he pointed at you with his index finger-
-Nice try, but I'm not going to bite again - he whispered, fixing his gaze on you, his eyes narrowed - you can stop pretending now, you know?
-What the fuck are you talking about?
-Cut the crap -he snorted, looking at you intently- I know you don't hate me as much as you want me to believe- he whispered- I think you actually want me to fuck you or let you fuck me, one of two
-You're disgusting -you complained, making a face of disgust-
-No, I'm a realist -he corrected, while patting his legs a couple of times- come here
-I'm not doing such thing
-I told you to cut the crap, I don't buy your role as a spoiled little girl -he said, and the authoritative tone of his voice made you shudder with pleasure from head to toe- you don't have a fucking clue how to act, so stop doing it
-Okay -you agreed tiredly- Do you want me to sit on your lap? I'll do it just to shut the fuck up
You stood up and sat on his lap, just like he'd told you to, with each leg on either side of his hips. You looked up at him, his blue eyes now having an unnatural glint.
"There," you murmured. "Happy?"
He didn't respond, instead he placed his hands on your hips holding you there and slowly pushed his hands up. A muffled moan escaped your lips but you weren't able to help it. Tangerine smiled at the look on your face.
-Look at you, a couple of minutes ago you were complaining about how much you hated me- he reminded you- and now here you are, desperate for my cock
-I'm not desperate for… -he pushed again, making a new gasp leave your lips-… your cock- you finished haltingly, his smile growing wider-
-Your body says otherwise, honey- he said as he slid his fingers under your skirt- Why don't you stop resisting and admit that this is what you want?
-No way- you responded with a growl-
There was no way you were going to let him think you were enjoying it.
His fingers reached the waistband of your panties, making you let out a curse under your breath. Tangerine smiled amusedly. He knew you were dying for him to touch you, but the fact that you were resisting him only made it more interesting.
-You're so wet, love -he whispered, running his thumb over your center- Are you sure you don't want me to take care of it? Because I could -he pressed you, you felt the cold of his rings on the skin of your inner thighs, making you grab his shoulders tighter, he smiled when he noticed your nails digging into his skin, despite the suit jacket he was wearing-
Under normal circumstances he would have complained, because that jacket cost more than your life and his combined, but he didn't say a word.
Because it wasn't a normal situation and because it was YOU who was sitting on his lap.
-you would be so satisfied… -he whispered, tangling his fingers in the waistband of your underwear- I would make sure to get rid of all that tension you always carry on your shoulders-
You didn't answer because you were lost in the sensations you were experiencing. He gently pinched your thigh to get your attention. You looked at him, his blue eyes shining with anticipation.
-This is your last chance, baby, you just have to answer yes or no
“Fuck it,” you thought. You had nothing to lose, but you could gain a lot. A couple of orgasms at least, so you nodded.
“Fuck, yes,” you growled, pressing your lips against his.
His mouth moved masterfully against yours, knowing perfectly how to use them to drive you crazy, as well as his tongue.
You gasped into his mouth when he tugged at your bottom lip between his teeth, before bringing his hands to your skirt and yanking it down along with your underwear.
You did the same to him, and when you sat back down you thought you had died. You felt the pleasure consume you completely, the way he filled you… it was simply out of this world.
His eyes bored into yours when he thrust his hips up into yours.
He was up, following your movements. Within minutes you were a mess of gasps and moans, both of you competing to see who could last the longest without cumming.
Even when fucking you couldn't help but challenge each other.
"I think I'm going to lose this time, baby," he growled, his curly hair falling in messy waves on either side of his face. "I'm going to cum," he warned as you moved on top of him again, making him gasp against you. "Fuck!" he murmured. "You're taking me so well, holy shit." He held your hips with his hands.
"Tangerine…" you gasped, feeling his lips on your neck, kissing your skin. "I'm so close… Shit!" you growled, tangling one of his locks around your index finger.
In the end, neither of you won the bet, you both came at the same time, and you had two orgasms, just as you had predicted.
#tangerine bullet train#tangerine x reader#tangerine x you#bullet train#aaron taylor johnson#writters on tumblr#writterscommunity#byvoice
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i know this is meant to be pero tovar however i also see this being knight!joel miller and it has me thinkin' of this little dribble drabble:
imagine him being part of your guardsmen since coming back from the war. he would follow you all day, keeping you safe and out of harm's way. he would gently warn you by calling you 'dearest princess' or 'sweet girl' when something seemed off. only he could call you those names, anyone else calling you dear or sweet- it tasted sour. but not him. he made it sweet like honey. imagine him being only a few years older than you, in fact as children you grew up somewhat close together, your father's were friends but still in a different social class. but after he was sent to fight in your father's war, you didn't see him for almost 10 years, he went away a boy and came back a man. imagine that you'd catch him stealing glances at you when you'd smile brightly or laugh at some gentleman's poor attempt at courting you. you'd relish in knowing his eyes were on you. you loved the thought that he wanted to be that man courting you, but oaths don't allow him to do both, love you and protect you in the highest rank which you knew he held in high regard. imagine if he could, he'd bring you flowers from the gardens and read you sonnets of poetry while he worshipped your body under his. pulling sweet prayers of pleasure from your lips as he held you against the bed and his hips rocked his cock slowly and passionately into your weeping core. imagine him constantly losing his train of thought whenever he'd get close enough to you that he'd smell your sweet perfume, stumbling over his words, and slightly turning red in his cheeks as you'd look up at him with those big beautiful eyes of yours. imagine that when you were coming in or out of a carriage or up or down from a high step - he'd hold your hand, to help you balance. he'd always remove his glove so he could sneak the feeling of your warmth in his hand, even if it was just for a few moments. that was enough for him. imagine that you'd make him smile or sometimes quietly chuckle by whispering jokes or not very 'princess-like' comments to him when you'd have him by you in court as your escort. imagine that when any man spoke to you disrespectfully or talked down to you he'd clear his throat behind you and pull his sword inches out of his sheath as a word of warning, glaring at them with eyes full of absolute violence to protect and respect you. it also helped he had a reputation that was more than enough to keep unwanted advances with you around him at bay.
imagine him standing in front of you in your chambers one evening as you asked him his opinion on a political matter. you only felt safe with him to share your true feelings and opinions. to everyone else, you're a woman, and your opinion was thrown out, even though you're the heir to the throne. to him, you hung the moon and stars, to him, your thoughts were the most important thing he could ever hear. imagine as you're rambling on about taxing the farmers and how it shouldn't be that way, how your father should be taxing the more wealthy to make up the deficit when you catch him looking at your lips briefly, making your breath hitch when you find yourself looking at his. imagine him realizing what he had just done as you stopped talking and he snaps out of his trance. he begins profusely apologizing for his disrespect, bowing his head to you, shyly not wanting to look you in the eye, if he looked you in the eye, he feared he wouldn't be able to hold back. he was a weak man when it came to you. imagine you place your hand on his cheek gently and command his eyes to yours, to which he snapped his head up to obey, only for you to command him to kiss you before he could say anything further. imagine him breathlessly touching your cheek with his gloved hand, swallowing nervously then whispering inches away from your lips, "If I am to kiss you, I'm afraid I'd never be able to stop, my sweet princess" imagine you smiling, whispering back "Glad we're on the same page my knight..." and leaning in the rest of the way, capturing his lips in yours, kissing him gently once before he pulled back for a fraction of a second, to whisper, "May the gods forgive me..." then devouring your lips with his, pulling you against his body thick with armor.
Hey Pero !
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Warning ! ⚠️I used ia to illustrate my imagine. I don't use it for artistic purposes. So please don't yell at me. I respect artists who work very hard for their art.And I don't want to offend or hurt any actor. I'm doing it for fictional characters. I'm also doing it for fun, so no messing about.
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XO - Cassiopeia-grimm
#joel miller fanfiction#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel x reader#joel miller fic#joel miller#pedrohub#lil riann drabble#possible fic idea??#knight!joelmiller#pedro pascal joel miller#pedro pascal#joel the last of us#joel miller x reader#joel miller imagine#joel miller x f!reader
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Not saying that people with more obvious physical limitations have it any easier, but if you're going to have a disability that gets in the way of schoolwork and class attendance, you are absolutely screwed if it happens to be "totally invisible and mostly unheard of 'can't wake up and get to morning classes on time' syndrome"
#guess who got dropped a whole letter grade in his german class because of his POTS getting in the way this semester!!#i simply do not think they should be counted as unexcused absences if on the first day of class you sent an email to the instructor#containing your letter from the disability center explaining you have 'can't always make it to class' disease#and would not always be able to make it to class#and then frequently reiterated to the instructor that the reason you were missing class was because of a disability#but i know that 'sorry i just can't wake up on time' sounds like the stupidest and fakest excuse ever so here we are#(yes i am fighting this because i deserve the B+ i worked for in that class and yes i will be getting my disability coordinator involved)#(but i am sad and frustrated and scared and sent my email about it in tears and know that it's a fight i might lose)
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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Most normal energy drink consumer
#new tags time yippee#cj updates#so there's some old-ish tags here lol#i had this saved for a while actually. just didnt know if i wanted to post goofs yet#old tags:#i will say i personally cannot make fun of him for that#as i was [still am even] overly invested in drinking mnt dew#they used to sell a full liter mnt dew bottle for like a dollar at the stores near me & id take one to school a lot an drink the whole thin#[Sometimes id be able to get a whole 2 liter. Tho I couldn't drink the whole thing during the day [mainly just to save it for later rlly]]#which i would then have after the can id get every morning.....#im better now i swear#tho it was always very funny when i had a class with a friend where id slowly pull the very long bottle out from my bag#the face they would make is always so funny to me still#so i have a feeling i know *exactly* what face his teacher made#either like a mix of astonishment & confusion or its just disappointment#a “why are you like this” typea look#its great#however his story is still horrifying#i drink monster a bit & like one can is enough for me for a day [if i can finish it even]#maybe if i clutched onto that instead of mnt dew during school years id be just like him then#im in the good timeline thank god#rant over lol my bad
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weird question but do you need help with your assignment?
im cramming for an exam, but like, in the past 10 minutes i just realized that i will simply not pass it lmao RIP
#uh... i thought the required material would be easier#im kinda panicking rn but i guess i will just take it and not pass it and go from there... idk ive never not passed a college class before#i just always kinda lucked out but like. im pretty sure i will not pass this exam unless#i get VERY lucky like exceptionally lucky with every question lmfao#SAD#well i shouldve studied and shit#i feel very ashamed rn idk if i will be able to even make myself go there... its not like its a huge class that will surely have tons of pp#ugh im just feeling really bad rn........ -_-
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing#I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lion’s lair
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