#but the point is that the game basically just gives you two options with most of the races

[sansevierias]

bg3's character creator's super limited face options are so lame though. not only do they cause everyone's unmodded tavs and durges to look the same, but all the npcs share the same basic faces too. and you can just find your own player character's face on a random npc. i'm on my second playthrough and i'm so sick of seeing the same generic faces everywhere and recognizing who they "belong" to (=some specific npc that my brain has decided "owns" the face).

i can understand recycling faces for some random npcs that just speak one line, but the characters that return in almost every act and are tied to specific quests should have more unique features. it's kinda funny that zevlor is one of the lucky few with an unique face, but seems like his act 3 storyline didn't even make it properly to the game.

i also have to mention that as a woman, i'm disappointed how little variation there are in the options for "female" faces. apart from maybe few half-orc options, they are all really stereotypically feminine faces and generally just really pretty, even with the makeup removed. i always want to create a more butch/androgynous looking woman and there's not many options for that in the game.

i have seen similar (well, opposite?) opinions about the "male" faces too. they are all quite masculine, almost comically so! the people in charge of creating these face presets seem to have had a pretty narrow and traditional view of what women and men should look like. it's really disappointing for a game released in 2023, not to mention for a game that allows the player to choose non-binary/other for the player character's gender. despite that choice being there, you kinda have to choose between masculine or feminine face, there's not much room for middle ground.

[sexybritishllama]

in further neopets discord news, oh boy is there drama in my awful virtual pet game website today. strap in if you want way too much information on neopets’ broken economy

for some context, an event has just launched called the faerie festival. this is the first event to be run by the ‘new’ TNT (aka. the neopets team aka. the staff) since the leadership change, and they've said in recent editorials that this year’s faerie festival is going to be a combo of two previous popular events:

the faerie quest event, wherein people can get a free quest from a faerie every day in exchange for a reward (something that’s normally limited to random special events and therefore quite rare)

the charity corner, a highly requested event that hasn’t run since 2020, where you can donate random items to get points that can then be exchanged in a prize shop

there’s a LOT of ultimately worthless items on neopets that people gather from doing dailies and things, but charity corner actually gave a use to hoarding all of these, so people have wanted it back for ages. people have been going out of their way to hoard extra junk items for like 2 months now, after TNT teased the event in an editorial

this event was originally meant to start on 20th august, but got delayed 2 weeks, presumably because of issues behind the scenes. people were generally a bit disappointed but relieved if this meant they were going to get a proper, well prepared event without bugs

flash forward to 2nd october, the actual start of the event. nothing actually opens up for several hours on the day- that’s somewhat waved off by the fact that staff presumably need to be in the office to launch everything, a midnight launch isn’t expected

but, eventually, it opens!

well… kinda. there’s one page with one dialogue scene available and a link to an event page for spending neocash (the premium currency that costs irl money). the faerie quest page is giving out free daily quests, which is nice, but literally just the same as they did back in 2020. where’s the item recycling part? did this really need 2 weeks of delay?

the next day, the FAQ page for the event is published neopets support site (but not announced via news). still no sign of the actual event starting- seems like that might not be until moday?

as well as multiple grammatical errors, the FAQ had a few… concerning elements. most notably:

only 10 items could be donated per day

points would be awarded based on the rarity of the item, with the maximum rarity being r200-500, worth 15 points each

this meant people's hoarding of junk items for months was... essentially useless

r200-500 items basically means either hidden tower items (rare, expensive items that can only be bought in an account age locked shop with a purchase limit of 1 per day) orrrr….. neocash items. In other words, players could either spend an exorbinate amount of their in-game currency to buy up items to donate, or they could just hand over their credit card and pay to win

people were Not Happy about this

not long after info spread and the outcry started (and a sizeable number of people cancelled their premium membership in protest), the FAQ was quietly updated to remove mention of donating neocash items. that took away to pay to win element at least

however, now there was a new problem. a tombola man problem.

i mentioned already that the highest rarity items are pretty rare and expensive. one of the least expensive of these is an item called the Squeezy Tombola Guy Toy. you can probably see where this is going already

because you can only buy a maximum of one tombola guy per day from the hidden tower, your only option if you want to buy more than that in a day is to go to user shops. however, in light of the event, people had already started buying and hoarding tombola guy toys. equally, others were buying them purely to sell at a profit. this made the perfect storm and caused the price of the tombola guy toy, which was normally 110k NP, to explode up to 500k, 600k, even 700k within just one day

BUT THEN THE FAQ GOT UPDATED AGAIN. surprise, you can now donate 30 items per day! also they just got rid of the highest rarity tier altogether. the maximum you can get for an item is now 8 points, for rarity r102-r179.

this has now made the squeezy tombola guy toys useless. unless you’re a collector they don’t serve any function beyond that of a normal neopets toy (of which there’s thousands of much cheaper options). the price has now plummeted down to BELOW what it originally was and many users now have piles and piles of the dolls sitting in their inventory, mocking them

so what now? well, because no one ever learns, everyone is now flocking to what is now the cheapest high-rarity item eligible for donation. most are going for omelettes, which have a few different options at r102+. these have also inflated by like 400% from before the event, but unlike the squeeze tombola guys, these are only worth a few thousand neopoints, so not as bad a potential loss in comparison

it’s worth noting that while all this is going on in preparation for the recycling event, neopets is also experiencing insane inflation in a lot of other items right now, including those required for people to complete faerie quests. for example, a Griefer, which cost 5000 np just last week, is now worth selling for 1 MILLION

So yeah. 3 days into the event and that’s where we are so far. who knows what tomorrow might bring

[melverie]

Last post on the entire date ticket thing and then I will forever shut up about it, but I feel like most people arguing in favor of the price tag are just….missing the point on why people are so angry about the date ticket being $30

I think the one thing we can all agree on right from the get go is that everyone in the staff deserve to and should be compensated fairly for their work. And that obviously includes certain features and items having to cost actual money considering the game itself is free

But the thing is, that $30 price tag doesn't just exist in a vacuum

First off, we can all agree that charging something like $3 would have made the ticket sell far better, right? Several people have already pointed out that they can buy a week's worth of groceries with $30 and depending on how much you earn, the date ticket isn't exactly something anyone can just buy on a whim. Again, $3 would have been far more affordable for most people, and I'm sure many more people (myself included) would have been far more willing to spend $3 just to see what the date ticket is like, and maybe also buy the tickets of multiple other characters. But $30 for a single date ticket is a luxury a lot of people just cannot afford, or would rather put into something else. Even if they lowered the price, they'd surely break even and make profit with how many players there are

And judging by its contents, I think it's fair to say that the date itself is not worth $30. And I feel like Solmare themselves know this because why else would they have bundled it with 300 DP? The only reason is to justify this price tag because "look at how much DP we're getting with it tho!!" when that's not the point. It doesn't matter whether the DP are included, because there is a lack of choice here. We have other options to earn and buy DP, but we don't have a choice when it comes to the date ticket itself. Either you pay $30, or you miss out on a feature that many of us have wanted for a while now. And since it's the DP raising the price tag,what you are essentially paying for is 300 DP with a date ticket as your purchase bonus, even though it should be the other way round

And honestly? Considering the price, the only two times it would make sense to buy this bundle is if you were already considering buying DP anyway, or if you are financially well enough off that the current price doesn't matter to you. You won't convince most casual spenders, and you most definitely will not convince a f2p player to pay for this feature

The other thing is that we had no idea what the date ticket actually entailed because we weren't given any information on it. Thanks to people in the community buying and reviewing this feature for others we now know that the date consists of one phone call, a ~10 minute long, partially voiced date story-line and a Majolish background. Except, those are things that Solmare themselves should have told us right as they announced this feature, ESPECIALLY considering the price point. If you don't, you can't complain if people are accusing your company of trying to rip its player base off and of being greedier than the Avatar of Greed himself. But also, that's the thing!

We shouldn't have people in the fandom be the ones to go out of their way to give us basic info on new features, or to even explain certain business decisions in the first place. That's the company's job. Yes, certain explanations should be a given (such as microtransactions existing so that the staff can be paid the money they obviously deserve), but there are other things that should have been explained by Solmare themselves

Open communication with the player base is the key phrase here, and imo Solmare has been doing worse and worse on that front as of late, resulting in several unexplained choices that just seem questionable at best and scummy at worst, as well as a player base that grows more and more disgruntled by the day. And that frustration within the player base shows in the amount of people dropping the game, as well as in the amount of money it's making

People are willing to put their time and money into something they deem a good, quality product with a justified price considering the content. If your player base isn't putting in the money you are expecting, then maybe you should listen to their feedback and re-examine your product instead of overcharging a feature because "look at this thing you're getting extra that no one asked to be included in the bundle in the first place"

Literally part of the reason LaDS has grown to be so successful in such a short amount of time is because they keep making adjustments based on player feedback, even on some minor things. I mean they literally pushed out an update to correct the color of one of the character's tongue in the newest card because people were complaining, like hello!! Imagine Solmare listening to complains as minor as this

Anyway, whether intentional or not, this entire thing just feels scummy, and that's the problem. The choice we have is either "pay 30 bucks per character or miss out on this feature entirely", the price is artificially inflated with the inclusion of DP that we have other ways of getting, romance is slowly fazed out of the story only to now be put behind a heft paywall, we weren't told what we are even paying for exactly in the first place, and there has been a severe lack of proper communication from Solmare that have soured the relationship to the game's fanbase and, most importantly in this context, their customers

No, companies aren't our friends. Yes, they need to make money. Yes, they should pay their employees fairly. And no, we as consumers shouldn't expect nor are we entitled to everything about the game being free because again, the people working on this game deserve to get paid fairly for all the work they put into it

However, people are still allowed to be critical of a company and its decisions, especially when they feel like they are getting ripped off. The 300 DP might soften the blow, but that doesn't stop everything that has happened before from being a slap in the face. That's why people are pissed right now, and honestly it's been a long time coming

[nonotnolan]

Group Project

"I don't care if most people skip this step," Aiden said, taking a pre-swap photo with Nathan. "I still don't completely trust Swapper technology, just... I don't have many other options. Professor Carmichael has been riding our asses all semester, and this damn group project is worth 50% of my grade. I, uhh... I appreciate you doing this for me."

"You're the one paying me," Nathan said, grinning into the mirror with two thumbs up. "As long as you follow the basic rules, I don't really care what sort of extra safeguards you want to throw in. And don't worry, I think it's cute. Commencing swap... now."

Aiden barely had time to panic before he found himself staring up into his former face. The biggest shock was feeling Nathan's coiffed hair brushing against his forehead. The nerd came well recommended by Frat Row-- at this point, he probably spent more time outside of his body than inside of it. Certainly it hadn't been Nathan spending time at the gym to earn these arms. He had graduated college last year, but instead of getting a full time job, he hired out his services to anyone who needed to pass tests or make presentations. At $500 per swap, the legality was the only barrier to making it into a career. "So, you remember the rules, right?" said Aiden's body.

Hearing his voice like that was incredibly odd. "Yeah, we've got to stay swapped for 48 hours or else the Campus safety test will know we used our Swappers. You aren't liable if you get caught, I already paid you up front, no refunds. We had to jailbreak our Swappers to override the 12 hour standard limit, so I'll get arrested if I try to contact customer service. Anything else I'm missing?"

"No hard drugs, but any amount of sex and alcohol is fair game," Nathan said, as he reached into Aiden's waistband to fondle his new package. "Nice dick, my guy," he said, giving him another thumbs up. "That's gotta be, what... at least seven inches?"

Aiden blushed, deeply embarrassed to see his body acting so corny. "A bit under seven and a half, yeah," he said. "Aa-anyway, I'll be at the house if you need me."

"Have fun," Nathan said, giving him an exaggerated wink and slapping him on the shoulders. "I've swapped with several of your brothers. I know you're gonna have a good time."

Preston was outside, taking advantage of one of the last warm afternoons before fall turned into winter. "Damn, bro, you hired Nathan? Looks like someone was worried about failing their classes. So, who are you?"

"It's Aiden," I said, feeling very self conscious about my newer, frailer body as I found myself staring at Preston's hairy chest.

He just laughed. "Wait, Aiden? I didn't even know you had a Swapper! Damn, dude, you must be desperate to pass."

"I... yeah," I said, avoiding eye contact. Was Nathan a gay man? That was fine if he was, just... did that sort of thing stick to the body? He'd never really noticed the cleft of Preston's chin before, but he was-- Nathan's body was-- incredibly horny.

"A word of advice, Newbie," he said, sitting down his book. "Most of the Swapper nerds, or at least the ones worth hiring? They're gay men. Don't try to fight it. Just enjoy the ride. You'll be back to your no-homo self in 48 hours." He flexed his chest, letting his pecs bounce. "Or maybe you'll be a bit more worldly," he said, laughing as Aiden tried not to sneak a glance. "Getting a compliment from a gay dude feels real good."

Aiden practically sprinted toward the main doors, eager to escape the awkward situation. "Yeah I'll keep that in mind thanks bye," he muttered, cursing Nathan's gym shorts and their inability to hide an erection.

"Well, damn bro, look who it is! Someone hired Nathan!"

Sitting over in the lobby were two other guys who were using their Swappers for the weekend. The guy in black was probably Carter-- the dude had a lot of Puma gear, and it was possible he'd changed shirts at some point. Besides, it was hard to imagine anyone else scowling that hard. The blonde guy, however... that could be anyone.

"Uhh, hey... guys..." Aiden said, quickly learning that Nathan had a foot fetish. "You, uhhh... you also have a group project tomorrow or something?"

The blonde guy just laughed, closing his laptop as he stood up. "Oh, I've got a group project in mind, alright. I was just telling Carter here, even though both of us look like twinks, neither one of us are really bottoms. But with Nathan's body here, well... I think that solves our problem. Don't you?"

He nodded, following wordlessly after the two men as they entered the nearby library room for more privacy. Just enjoy the ride, Preston had said. Aiden suspected he was going to be doing a lot of riding tonight.

[handsomeamoeba]

WRONG.

Try again.

Actually let's get into this. As someone who loves a great many fantasy RPGs including BG3, Skyrim, and Dragon Age, let me explain what BG3 gets that Skyrim misses, in my opinion.

And this is the big one: the characters in BG3 feel like real fucking people. They have backstories, demonstrable feelings about the events and the other characters, they react to the things you do and they develop as people as you further your relationships. Even minor NPCs often feel fleshed out with distinct personalities and opinions. Hell, going out of my way to cast Speak to Animals is usually rewarded with at least one charming remark. I have never given even a little bit of a shit about 99% of Bethesda NPCs. I usually choose to travel without a companion rather than with unless I need a pack mule to carry my stuff, because their primary function seems to be to get in my way, set off traps, or attract aggro. I can't remember most characters' names unless I'm actively playing. I'm more likely to casually murder people in Skyrim than I am in BG3 or DA because Bethesda hasn't really made any of their NPCs feel like real people, and consequentially I feel no guilt. By comparison I tried to do an evil run of DA:O and gave up the instant I had to kill Wynne (the grandmotherly spirit healer) when she refused to let me go through with my plans, because I hated doing it. Lydia will watch me gut an innocent man and do NOTHING because she has no life, existence, or personality outside of me, the player. This extends to romances, obviously. While optional in all the games, most people will pursue a romance path in BG3 or DA for the additional character arcs it brings to the characters, the emotional nuances they unlock. In Skyrim romance is a box you tick of tasks to complete. In fact, once you marry them, most marriage candidates personalities change *completely* because all spouses have the same few stock dialog lines. That is, if they had a personality to begin with (again, see Lydia). You know how everyone wants to romance unromanceable characters in Bethesda games? Like Brynjolf in Skyrim, or Nick Valentine in FO4? It's because Bethesda actually bothered to give them stories and opinions.

Honestly, this extends to the player character themselves. To a certain extent every player character is a blank slate, but in BG3 and DA it at least feels possible to develop a feeling about who that character is and what they would or would not say or do. I've tried to do that with the Dragonborn and rarely feel strong feelings about them or have strong opinions about what kind of person they are. The only one I've made who I have much of an idea about is my wood elf Parafina, who is Chaotic Evil. Which again is an option I only pick because no one in Skyrim feels real.

The stakes also feel more real in BG3, more personal. Obviously there's the central quest involving the tadpoles, but more than that, it is about a credible threat to your world and the people and communities in it and the people you love. There are tons of reasons to invest yourself emotionally in the narrative. I have never, ever completed the main storyline in Skyrim nor picked a side in Skyrim's civil war. Why would it? Basically nothing happens if I choose not to. Furthermore, if you're not playing as a Nord (which I usually don't), why would you care about Skyrim as a place? You are a faceless, voiceless (pun intended) outsider who gets microaggressed at every turn being asked to choose between two different flavors of fascist. Also dragons are back but like... listen, I don't care? They get pretty easy to pick off at a certain point, it's like swatting flies, they're just a nuisance on the way to my daily errands. And isn't that such a common story? Don't you know so many people who don't really bother with the main storylines of Skyrim? Yeah it's one of the bestselling games of all time but I feel like the fact that most people don't really care about its narrative should be a sign of failure. We all know it's mostly maintained its popularity due to the modding community.

Ultimately both games have rich worlds which reward exploration with little secrets and environmental storytelling. But BG3 feels more "meaningful" because they give me reasons to care about what happens. The writers worked hard to give the game emotional resonance. So I come to the two games for different experiences. I go to BG3 to engage with an interesting story. I go to Skyrim for the quick serotonin hit of completing tasks and hoarding items.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I’m always curious about Kankri being redeemed in any way (maybe because he can become the sufferer). Obviously to do so would be simply punting him to reality and force him to live it, no help from his shoddily-made support structure. But I’m curious how you would go about doing it

Given their role thematically in the story, I'm actually usually not on the train of "fully redeem the dancestors", but I do like giving them some catharsis and reckoning, a place in the fight against LE. One last chance to do something good with their lives/afterlives before the end, and a(n implied) new start as wigglers born into the new universe.

So to that end, in my head, the "turnaround point" for Kankri - the inciting incident that makes him have a mental breakdown that results in him finally taking some accountability for his shitty actions - is having a conversation with Eridan.

In my head, the Dancestor reckoning happens gradually, alongside a series of retcons where the dead trolls are brought back one or two at a time, and deal with their emotional issues a little more with every cast member added back into the party.

The TL;DR series of events is: Terezi asks to bring back Vriska, Vriska asks John to punch out Tavros before she can kill him, Tavros's influence makes Gamzee ask for Equius and Nepeta to be brought back, Equius asks for a redux of Aradiabot, Aradiabot grabs John by the arm and gets him to undo her death and Sollux's fall into depression, Sollux asks for Feferi to be brought back, and then Karkat asks for Eridan.

We know from (Vriska) that the Game Over/Alpha Timeline characters still exist post-Retcon, so those characters would also be continuing their character arcs, just in the afterlife prepping for the LE fight. For example, I think Meenah's reckoning should be delivered by (Karkat) - after having had so long to reflect on his own failures as a leader, he would be perfectly poised to scream at her for hers, which would also serve to make this confrontation a final thesis for Karkat as a whole - what leadership means (caring about your team) - and a conclusion to the Meenah/Karkat dynamic.

So when I say that Kankri needs to talk to Eridan, I mean Eridan and not (Eridan). Full character development, all his teammates are alive, taken full accountability and responsibility for his actions, team good guy Eridan. And as I noted in this essay, Eridan with full character development is actually more annoying than regular Eridan, because he's also the "Devastating: Worst Guy You Know Made An Excellent Point" guy. In bulleted form:

He's still an advocate for murder. Murder is literally what kept his friends alive long enough to play the game, and playing the game itself involves genocide, so he would be the Token Evil Teammate who reminds the team that, hey, murder is an option - and enemies will be considering it. Even at his very best, he's going to struggle with empathy and have an extremely blase view of violence and murder - those were literally just facts of his life through his most formative years.

This also makes him a TOTAL downer, as he's the tempering voice that reminds them that decisions have consequences, and utopia requires sacrifices, and nothing is ever worth fighting for that won't eventually need to be fought for. Like I said, worst guy you know, excellent points. In fact, he's out here volunteering to do the murdering when the situation calls, if nobody else wants to get their fins dirty. He's really good at it.

He's still an idiot who doesn't listen to people. He's perfectly fine at taking orders, but having a conversation with him is still really difficult. I feel like if you make Eridan too smart, mentally flexible, and socially aware, you lose a lot of his Eridan-ness, and I think these characters, fully realized, are more of themselves, not less. I also don't know how you could reasonably expect to fix these traits. He's just Like That.

He drops his fake pro-Empire stuff, because that was basically all just empty posturing in the first place, but...

Now he's a pretentious-ass hipster who judges you for liking Trollor Swift and Troll Marvel. Given that Jake's indiscriminate taste is actually linked to his deficit of Hope (he has little conviction, he's wishy-washy), Eridan coming into full Prince of Hope regalia involves getting even more annoying about his taste in media (shittons of conviction, refusal to budge).

He is also a wizard. He will not shut up about this.

And finally, I think he'd still be out here using slurs. First of all, because it'd be really funny, because he's literally not casteist, but second, because there's two types of "it's equality" - the kind where nobody ever says anything offensive, and the kind where "offensive" stops being a relevant concept because true equality has been achieved. Think of the discourse surrounding the reclamation of slurs IRL, or how the "it's equality" meme gets used - this idea that words can be stripped of power by changing the context of who's saying them, or that objectification/discrimination stop being problems if they're applied evenly across the board, instead of limited to specific groups. I think that this is the exact type of nuanced idea that Homestuck would tackle and its fandom would get incensed about, which is why I think it should stay.

Eridan's role, thus, becomes a sort of "unpleasant truths" kind of character. Violence, both physical and verbal, is unpleasant as hell, and the natural instinct is to avoid it. The problem is, in any true discussion of what society should look like, they're topics that can't be avoided, and are even sometimes necessary not just to recognize, but to utilize (no revolution is bloodless, etc.). Eridan - an extreme personality - is going to represent the uncomfortable extreme of the debate. And by that I mean he's going to be saying slurs and talking about murders and is still going to be unquestionably a force for good.

The reason I'm going so in-depth into this is because Kankri very much represents the opposite: using "polite" language and couching it in the language of courtesy, activism, and liberal ideology, Kankri hides - and worse, spreads - his classist, ableist, misogynistic, puritan beliefs. He enforces the class divide and actively works against his teammates' best interests.

He whines that the lower blood castes should stop complaining about oppression, because others have it worse. He tells the team feminist that misogyny isn't real, then slut shames her. He tells the guy with brain damage that he's making other neurodivergent/TBI people look bad, exacerbates Latula's shame around her inability to smell, and actively guilt trips Cronus into ignoring his epiphany and self-reflection. Kankri is only an activist in that he actively makes everybody worse.

But why does he act like this? Well, it's due to the fact that he was probably culled, and on-sight at that, like Karkat would've been if anyone found out about his mutant blood. Kankri doesn't seem to have a symbol or lusus, either, two thinks Karkat only had because the Signless's followers prepped them for him, so the chances are very high that Kankri was culled since he was hatched. Given the way he discusses culling with Latula, and viciously despises being mothered by Porrim, it's clear he has some really complicated feelings regarding having his agency dismissed. Thus, his work to hamper his team - at least some of which is wilful on his part, as he'll outright cast aspersions on Horuss or Cronus's beliefs for being "imaginary" even as he encourages them to commit to them - is motivated by something quite simple: power, attention, entitlement, and control.

When he goes on his grand lectures, he frequently slips and reveals that he sees himself as a great, unquestionable spiritual leader, often trying to place other characters in subordinate positions to himself - Karkat is his "pupil," and his monologues, I mean, sermons, I mean, diatribes, are spoken as if from a position of authority. He outright tells Meenah that this is what he believes himself to be.

It's a very Seer sort of problem - both that of hubris and that of willful blindness. If you chart out the actual "end goal" of his beliefs, it appears to be a world in which Kankri himself is both the biggest victim and most important voice in the room. He regularly disparages those with actual disadvantages (Damara, Porrim, Mituna) while playing up the false problems of those who don't actually have them (Horuss, Cronus). Those with disadvantages should have their voices amplified - except lowbloods should stop whining and misogyny isn't real. And those with real power should check their privilege - but won't somebody think of the poor highbloods who have ~emotional problems~? Kankri will, and all the highbloods need to do is bend the knee and treat Kankri as their specialest boy.

In short, he's using his intellect, rhetoric, and forceful personality for selfish, emotionally-driven pursuits. The actual substance of his arguments is ephemeral and contradictory because that's the trick - the point is NOT to further equality, but to verbally browbeat his conversation partner into submission. In other words, you can't beat Kankri in a regular debate, because the moment you start trying to actually engage in a debate with him, he wins. The moment you start lunging at his arguments, he's got you in his red-texted labyrinth. The moment you start treating his points like they merit genuine discussion, you're in the pews of Kankri's church, and he's up at the pulpit.

And Eridan is the destroyer of faith. He's also an idiot who doesn't listen to people.

I don't really know exactly how it would play out, but I know in my heart. In the pit of my soul. That Eridan would call Kankri several slurs, (correctly) point out that Kankri's celibacy is stupid because it's clear he has feelings for Cronus and Latula, (correctly) point out that his pro-equality stuff is stupid because he calls violets "Royal-V"s, (incorrectly) accuse Kankri of hitting on him, (correctly) point out that the entire point of a slur is that it hurts and insults the person it's used on, (correctly) call Kankri several more slurs, (correctly) point out that Kankri just wants attention, especially from highbloods, (???) go on an unhinged rant (maybe more) about being a wizard, being a murderer, and being a murderer wizard, (???) insult Kankri's taste in music, and finish it up by (correctly) revealing that Eridan and Karkat are moirails who make out sometimes.

I think Kankri would start crying.

[syrikif]

Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU + Written, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Content Warnings: Sexual jokes/content, mention of death threats, mature language

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Created: October 6, 2023 Completed: (Ongoing) Update Schedule: I’m currently in the process of moving so just whenever I can :)

Masterlist:

Important Profiles: Y/N's Group Kenma's Group Prologue: Daddy Kink Cat Distribution System Chapter 1: Thirst Trap Hospital Food Chapter 2: Bedwars 🖊 Boredom 🖊 Chapter 3: Trending One Game Chapter 4: Calm Guilt 🖊 Chapter 5: Unhinged One in a Million Chapter 6: Cuddle Buddies 🖊 Casual Chapter 7: Rating The Cat Girl Chapter 8: A Dozen Men Little Things 🖊 Chapter 9: Scaredy Kitten Disappearing Act Chapter 10: Chapter 11: tbc . . .

Author's Notes:

Hey guys! This is my first post on Tumblr and the first SMAU I've ever written. Which, kudos to everyone else who makes SMAU's because they are a lot of work.

Just some basic info before you begin reading:

Y/N uses she/her pronouns and is feminine presenting.

Every chapter will have two parts, one part from Y/N's point of view and one part from Kenma's; the order will differ depending on the chapter.

Every update will be a double post so make sure you know you’re reading the correct one first, and reading both of them.

Time stamps don't really matter unless explicitly written by me so you can just ignore them :)

There will be both written and social media elements; written parts will be marked with a pen (🖊).

And I'm gonna be honest, while I love the anime I haven't actually watched it in a long time and I was never able to finish season three. That being said, if anything I write seems out of character for anyone just bear with me I'm trying my best lol.

Please feel free to give me any feedback and/or criticism to help me improve. And if any of the links aren't working just let me know and I'll try to get it fixed ASAP.

If you have any questions, don't feel too shy and reach out if possible; I promise I'll answer to the best of my ability.

(Also, just comment if you'd like to be on the taglist.)

Hope you enjoy the story :)

[agentmaxa]

Late to the Game (Uswnt x Reader)

Not Requested

Sorry for any mistake, please enjoy.

"Kelley I swear if you don't-

"Sorry Y/n, I can't hear you from all the way down there."

Kelley teased the youngest player of the national team by resting herself on Y/n while propping herself up.

The 17-year-old let out a huff, as the teammates around them laughed at Kelley's antics. Only a handful of them had seen the look in Y/n's eyes that told them this was about to take a turn.

Taking a large step to the side Y/n caused Kelley to fight gravity which was a losing battle.

O'Hara basically face-planted it on the turf and everyone burst out laughing.

Y/n chucked along as Kelley got up.

"You think that's funny?" Kelley teased.

Y/n replied, "Absolutely hilarious."

Causing O'Hara to purse Y/n while shouting, "Get back here shortstack!"

-----

Y/n went to get a ball from off the sidelines, picking it up in hopes of doing a few tricks to pass the time during a small break in practice.

Until O'Hara bumped into Y/n by accident. "Oh, sorry L/n-"

"It's fine-"

"Guess I just didn't see you from all the way down there."

"It's one freaking inch," Y/n said exasperated, over the fact that Kelley kept pointing it out.

Kelley chucked to herself, "That's what she said."

On any other day, Y/n would have found that humorous as well.

But not today.

"That's it!"

Y/n tackled Kelley to the ground, putting her in a headlock, and attempting to give Kelley a noogie.

They tossed with each other for a few minutes gaining the attention of most of the team.

"Hey look, they're starting a new line of mini WWE Wrestlers for the national team."

Sam and Sonnett joked as they saw Y/n and O'Hara's roughhousing had turned into a little bit of a wrestling match.

Unfortunately, for them, Kelley and Y/n had also heard the comment.

Partially out of breath, Y/n looked at Kelley, "Truce?"

"Truce."

The two grinned and Sonnett and Sam soon realized their mistake.

"Nonononon- wait!"

Nothing was stopping Kelley as she tackled Sonnett to the ground while Y/n pursued Sam.

Chasing her, Y/n gained enough speed to leap onto Sam's back dragging her down to the ground the two laughing as they stayed there for a little.

Only interrupted by the whistle calling the whole team to circle up.

Y/n and Sam got up but saw Kelley had sat on Sonnett's back keeping the woman down.

"O'Hara, I'm warning you."

"I'd like to see you- AAAHH!"

Kelley tried to grasp onto something but Sonnett managed to throw Kelley off and get up.

"How's it feel being down there for a change?" Y/n teased.

"Pretty nice actually, maybe move to the left a bit. You're not blocking the sun enough, mini."

-----

Getting ready to leave for the plane, Y was packing some final things.

"Ready to leave already squirt?"

Letting out a heavy sigh, Y/n turned to O'Hara.

"Almost."

"I'm still not sure how you're okay with this."

"Do I have a choice?"

Kelley shrugged her shoulders.

Y/n wasn't going to the World Cup. Reason being there were more players with more caps under them to choose from. Y/n had done the camps and games but just didn't make the cut.

"I mean I know it's not the worst thing possible for you but just saying you've proved your spot more than enough."

"Let's be real here Kels you just need me so you have a headrest."

"That too."

"Just don't lose too badly out there."

Kelley dawning a hurt expression, "I see how it is."

The woman took Y/n by surprise, taking them both down, and roughhousing ended in fits of laughter.

-----

Y/n was woken by the blaring alarm, "Nnnnooooo."

As tempting as the snooze button was Y/n knew being late wasn't an option.

Gathering some belonging and packed luggage Y/n heard a familiar voice from just beyond the bedroom door.

"Sweetheart you up?"

"Yeah, I'll be downstairs in a few Dad."

Getting everything ready, Y/n left a few things by the front door and headed into the kitchen to see Dad and Papa.

"Ready for another camp, sprout?"

"Yeah, although I do wish you'd stop calling me that. The sprouting has stopped in case you haven't noticed."

"And did I ever say anything when you called me Pop-pop?"

Y/n laughed, "I haven't called you that since I was like eight."

"Your point?"

Y/n let out a chuckle, "Okay Pop-pop. I need to get going, don't want to miss my flight."

"Wait, I packed you a small snack."

"Dad small or normal people small?"

Y/n teased Dad knowing sometimes he over-packed.

"Har-har. I just want you to have options."

"Love you too, old man." Y/n kissed his temple as he drank his coffee grabbing the bag that had the 'snack' in it.

Y/n looked down a little as Papa could kiss the top of Y/n's head.

Hurrying out of the house Y/n heard one of them say, "Call us when you land!"

"Always do!"

-----

Y/n walked into the hotel lobby, not seeing anyone else yet Y/n just checked in with the receptionist.

Heading up to the room, Y/n double-checked for any messages left by the team.

Hearing the elevator open to the room floor Y/n walked out and then did a final check on messages from anyone and saw one from Ash.

'Do you have a tall twin by chance?'

Not even replying Y/n looked to the elevator to see Ash and Ali already trying to figure out who just walked past them.

"Hey, guys."

"Bubs?!"

Ali and Ash both said the nickname they personally had for Y/n, shocked that this was the same person.

"A few inches taller but yeah."

Ash, without warning, ran towards Y/n, clinging to Y/n like a koala to a tree.

"No growing up anymore!"

Y/n lightheartedly chuckled, thinking about how Dad and Papa nearly had the same reaction when noticing the very late and sudden growth spurt.

"Don't worry, I think this is as tall as I go."

Y/n put Ash down. Ali was looking at Ash and Y/n with a smile, noticing Y/n must've only been an inch or two taller than Ash.

"It better be." Ash acknowledged that Y/n was the tallest out of the three.

"Alright, come here bubs." Y/n smiled at Ali, not used to leaning down while hugging the majority of the team.

"It's good to see you guys again."

"I didn't know Sam was here." The three heard Crystal's voice, the hug ending.

Y/n turned around, "Hey Dunn."

The woman just put a hand on her hip, "Well if this isn't a surprise."

"Believe me, I'm still getting used to it myself."

"I'm gonna miss my short buddy."

"I mean I'm pretty sure that just means I give better piggybacks."

-----

Giggling and laughter were heard through the hallway to the cafeteria.

Everyone turned to see who was making the commotion.

Suddenly Y/n came through the doorway with Dunn piggybacking. Both laughed at the situation.

Nearly every person froze. Not seeing Y/n since the last camp before the World Cup.

Dunn got off of Y/n's back, giving the young player a pat between the shoulder blades.

"Shortstack?!"

"Hey, Kels," Y/n said nervously as Kelley's jaw went slack.

"You're.... you're..."

"Tower of Power 2.o?"

As Kelley continued to fumble Sam walked up to Y/n, "Damn, yeah. Welcome to tall people club."

Sam smiled seeing Y/n was still around an inch shorter than her.

While everyone went back to what they were doing before the chaos, Sam and Y/n sat together with Kelley, Sonnett, and a few others.

"Hitting your head a lot?" Sam inquired.

"Not as much, mainly when I just don't think about it."

"Don't worry, you'll learn to auto-duck."

Y/n chuckled, "I think I'll just miss the lost bed space. My bed feels so small now."

Sam nodded in solace.

"The price we pay."

"Were you bitten by a radioactive spider?"

The whole table kind of froze and slowly turned to Kelley.

"Not that I recall?" Y/n answered a little confused

"I'll find out soon enough."

"You wanna tango with my extra muscle, O'Hara?"

While not the most notable change in Y/n, the growth spurt caused Y/n to eat more and in turn, needed to work off more food. It also meant more time in the gym to work out some muscles.

Kelley thinking Y/n just meant the height difference mumbled, "The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

Y/n shrugged the woman off.

"Well, none of that matters because now I get to ride all the grown-up rides!"

The enthusiasm caused the room to erupt in laughter.

[penultimatefan02]

Pen's Missed Proposal - A Theory

SPOILERS AHEAD!

@chimerapartyhouse wrote an insightful post regarding Pen’s motivations for having the diamond ring he dropped after his defeat at the Starship ruins. Was it Pen’s intention to propose to the builder before leaving with the Duvos army? On its own, it does hint that Pen wanted the builder to join him. Moreso, the hint was strengthened by the event that took place in the mission, “Pen’s Last Words.”

After Pen was taken away, he mailed a goodbye letter to the builder where he directed them to a cave so they could obtain a treasure. For those who did not romance Pen, the cave was essentially a trap with many beasts inside.

The treasure included Gold (5), Diamond (1), and Gols (400). Here is the symbolism:

5 (五 wǔ) sounds like 呜 (wū), which is onomatopoeia for whimpering and crying. Therefore, it is generally considered an unlucky number.

1. Searching took me in several directions, but the closest match found was that its pronunciations in Chinese sounds similar to the phrase 一生一世 (lifetime or forever).

4 (四 sì) sounds like 死 (sǐ; to die). Because of its negative association with death, most people consider this number to be so unlucky that many buildings in China do not even have a “fourth” floor.

Basically, Pen wanted the builder to experience a very unpleasant death.

However, if the builder romanced Pen, it was a different story.

The romance goodbye letter read:

Having some time to think on things here in the maximum-security prison, I do sometimes regret not finding a way to bring you with me. Ah, well. My bad. Anyway, since you were easily one of the top three lovers I've ever known, and the only one I still have the address for, I've decided to offer a symbol of my forgiveness. That’s right, I forgive you. I don't think we can ever be together again, but at the end of the day, you were just doing your lame goodie-two-shoes thing that you do. I should have recruited you as soon as I started to have suspicions. So, I won't hold it against you. In fact, I have one last thing give you. A challenge! Deep in the core of the ruins, I've tucked away one of the most powerful possessions in existence! And it's yours for the taking! All you have to do is get past the waves and waves of ravenous beasts that guard it, but... that should be no problem for you, Skinny. Remember your training. We will not meet again, Pen.

Here, Pen was all over the place. He offered backhanded compliments. Regretted not “recruiting” them. He forgave them for fighting against him. Then, he warned the builder of the beasts waiting at the cave but assured them they would win.

He was really fucked up.

For this post, I’m not going to dissect his psyche (much). My focus is on his offered mission and what it represents to those who romance him.

When entering the cave, my first thought was, when did Pen set this up? It must have been before the first arrest because there would be no time after the invasion. It only made sense that it was after the builder fell from the cliff but before Pen caught Haru. That’s because once Haru was captured the chain of events was set into motion.

That fall from the cliff must have thrown Pen for a loop. After the builder returned Pen said he searched for them relentlessly but couldn’t find them. His personality shifted in that conversation because from then on, he suspected Logan got to the builder due to the cliff’s location.

[The dialogue is from memory as I couldn’t find a screenshot. On the wiki, Pen says the builder crawled back to him, but I think the dialogue was changed. If someone has a screenshot, please share. It’s been a while since I played that part of the game, but I remember the builder had options to respond. such as they hit a tree on the way down.]

At that point, Pen’s mission was in hyperdrive, and Logan was breathing down his neck. He only had a brief window to plan on how to “recruit” the builder. It was within that window that Pen bought the ring and set up the cave for the proposal. For Pen, I’d imagine the ravenous beasts were there as a challenge to deem the builder worthy of his hand in marriage. If the builder won, Pen would kneel in the blood, guts, and glory of battle to put a ring on it. The treasure was as follows: Gold (5), Diamond (2), The Protector (1), Gols (600).

Here is the symbolism:

2. According to Chinese numerology, pairs are auspicious. This helps explain why it's common to see 双喜 (shuāngxǐ “double happiness”) on wedding couplets.

(Using separate definitions, 5, 2, and 1 combined may mean something like crying in happiness at being together forever?)

6. Chinese culture views number six as auspicious since it resembles the words for "smooth" and "well-off." It is linked to prosperity, happiness, and good fortune. It is also thought that number six has fascinating meaning when it comes to relationships and love. It's a popular option for romantic occasions like wedding dates because it connotes the idea of a smooth and harmonious relationship.

521. Following the recognition of 520 as a symbol of romance, the number 521 also gradually became associated with love. Lovers in China have now bestowed the number 521 with the meaning "I am willing", and both May 20 and May 21 are celebrated as Online Valentine's Days in China every year.

600 (general meaning, not language specific). In Love and Relationships, 600 is a sign of balance, harmony, and stability. When this number appears to you it can indicate that your relationship is about to enter a new stage of growth. 

Pen surely had a plan to propose.

My headcanon is that when Pen saw the Builder, Logan, and Justice come to interrupt the excavation, he knew that not only was his mission in jeopardy but so was his proposal.

That is why I believe the builder’s involvement was one of the reasons Pen went super feral on Logan. We know that Howlett almost wrecked his mission, but now Logan was trying to wreck everything for him. It’s also why I think he was overly spiteful toward the builder at the jail. In Pen’s eyes, the builder betrayed him by taking Logan’s side.

After Pen had time to stew on it though he forgave the builder but then put all the blame on Logan.

[anotherfcknschlattsimp]

deep fried delights <3 chapter 1

schlatt meets someone (you) at the carnival in town

schlatt didn't want to go to the carnival: it was loud, everything was sticky, the games were rigged, the food was overpriced, the rides were basically held together by hopes and dreams … ugh.  he didn't want to go.

but ted did. ted wanted to go so badly that schlatt would’ve felt like a loser if he’d said no, like the worst friend ever; so, he said yes, much like when you share your food with a begging puppy.  when ted said that they could make a video out of it, schlatt was caught in an unrejectable deal!

he was right, though: loud, sticky, rigged, overpriced, dangerous- he listed the flaws to the camera as they appeared on his mental checklist as the two of them walked around, trying to decide what to do first.  should they risk their lives yet? play rigged games? play unrigged children’s games? get food so schlatt didn't get hangry? yeah. food sounded good. after all, what is a fifteen-dollar foot-long hotdog to a rich man?

they continued to walk on the uneven dirt of the park until… schlatt spotted a common, but intriguing, sight: an abandoned photobooth strip.

the people in the pictures looked so unhappy that it tugged at his heartstrings: a cocky man with obvious anger and control issues, and, next to him, the most beautiful person schlatt had ever seen, crying their heart out, and missing from the last picture…

ted snapped him out of his haze to continue the trek to the food trucks before he left schlatt alone in the crowd of people.

~~~

three years. you had been with that jackass for three years, and he had dumped you on your anniversary at the same carnival that you had gone to for your first date.  on top of that, there was then photographic evidence of the event that you were sure he was gonna go jerk off to for the rest of time.  oh, well, you still had a bunch of points to spend and you weren’t sure if you’d go next year, so you figured that you may as well hit everything you can; 

it was time to collect your thoughts in line for the ferris wheel. the thought alone sparked a feeling of dread at the memory of your parents playing a “prank” on you by shaking the car and telling you that it was gonna break under you. ugh.  and if worst had come to worst? if the wheel broke, you’d sue and use the money to start a bakery or something.  you could plan your tactical strategy for hitting every game on the way out in order to be as fast as possible in the long, long line. 

when you had gotten about halfway through the line, you noticed a man gawking at you.  thoughts raced through your mind: should I call security? maybe he’ll go away if i ignore him.  you took out your phone and continued deleting all of the pictures and videos of you and he-who-shall-not-be-named, so that you didn’t have to do it later when you’d break down at home.  

god, the man was too tall to just stare at people like that. slenderman-esque, you thought.

~~~

fans.  everywhere.  they swarmed ted and schlatt like piranhas swarm to a drop of blood; it was utterly horrifying to experience, as always.  so, he slipped away as soon as he could, leaving the rest of the crowd he didn’t get to, to eat ted alive. he’d attend ted’s funeral if they found his remains. 

he had about ten to fifteen minutes until he had to reconnect with ted.  what should i do when i don’t even wanna be here? he thought. he walked around aimlessly for a minute before he noticed someone, someone familiar - you!

it was you, the beautiful person from the photo strip! he took the strip out of his pocket to compare: you were even prettier when you weren’t crying your heart out. schlatt felt something in his chest try to fly away, uncomfortable yet intriguing.

he weighed his options: either give you the pictures and get a chance to talk to you (but also risk you getting upset at the sight), or he could walk away then and there and hope that you hadn’t called security for the giant man that was staring at you for the past minute.

you had made eye contact, and his dumb fucking heart decided to take control, his feet carrying him forward.  he had felt way braver than he had any right being at the moment.

“hey, i, uh, found this…” he got lost in your eyes for a second before shaking his head and continuing, “thought you might want it back.”  he very quickly realized you probably didn’t want pictures of what looked like a horrible moment.  “i- i mean, i’m sorry, uhh… you probably don’t-” 

he looked up from his shoes when he heard a sniffle.

tag list: @xoxoave @sonnyjune @jschladderall @manticore-fangs

reviewed by: @manticore-fangs and @jschladderall

edited by: @jschladderall

AAAAAAAA I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT

[got-pucks]

sports betting gone right? || quinn hughes

summary: in which quinn hughes is completely infatuated with you and will do anything just to get more of you

warnings: none! :)

note: to the anon who requested this, i did make a slight change to your request, but i totally hope that you don’t mind :)

Much to his dismay, Quinn had been in New Jersey to help his family with moving Luke into his apartment with Jack. Luke hadn't fully moved into New Jersey during the playoff season, as he wouldn't have been there for very long. The family thought the best option was to move the essentials such as a bed, nightstand, and some clothing at first and then whatever Luke felt he might need later on.

Quinn hadn’t seen the point in needing the whole family, especially with all the different moving companies that could have done all the work instead. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he would rather be anywhere else, frustrated with all the different directions being shouted at everyone. Quinn had always felt that he was pretty easygoing and was chill with most things, but even this was a lot for him.

After a few hours of bickering between the brothers and a couple of stern looks from Ellen, everything that Luke could have possibly needed for the upcoming season was moved into the apartment. The family decided to go to a local street fair to see the different vendors and food stalls that were there. 

As the family was walking up and down the street Quinn was looking anywhere but straight ahead. His mind was wandering, thinking about all the things he needed to do in preparation for the upcoming season. Next thing he knew he felt himself knocking into someone, causing him to grunt and fall straight onto his ass. 

Quinn could hear his brothers snickering about him being an idiot while heat rose to his face as he quickly tried to stand back up. As soon as he was back on his feet and facing the person he ran into, Quinn swore he almost fell over again, coming face to face with you, one of the most beautiful people he has laid his eyes on. He felt completely enamored by all your features wanting to take everything about you in.

“Don’t mind my brother,” he heard Jack say before he could even mumble out an apology, “he can be more than kind of a dumbass sometimes.” 

Quinn turned to give Jack a mouthful when he heard you laugh, “Oh Jack, don’t be so mean to your family. That's your brother you're talking about!” 

Quinn watched with his mouth agape as he saw you and Jack hugged each other. He introduced you to his family, explaining how you had met through a mutual friend during his rookie year. You had apparently helped Jack a lot, teaching him how to cook a few basic meals and survive on his own. 

Suddenly, Quinn felt himself pushing himself closer to you letting out an apology about how bad he felt for not paying attention and then quite literally running into you. You laughed even more at Quinn, making him think to himself that he could hear that sound forever. Not thinking much, Quinn blurts out an invitation to join his family while they walk around looking at the different vendors. Thankfully, you accepted the offer.

You and Quinn had spent that time hitting it off, which turns out that the two of you had many similar interests. By the end of the night, Quinn felt like he had known you for years. Feeling like he hadn't had enough of you, he had asked if he could take you to dinner sometime.

“You know, hockey players aren’t my type,” Quinn could feel his heart drop as the grin on your face grew, “but maybe I am willing to make an exception because I just think you’re way cute. The next time you’re in town to play a game against your brothers, and you score a goal, I’ll consider going on a date.” 

Suddenly, Quinn could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He mumbled quietly, “I mean yeah… I could possibly manage that.” 

“Okay well, that sounds perfect!” you exclaimed, then kissing Quinn on the cheek, which caused his face to get hot for one more time that night. 

After that night, all Quinn could think about was you and your little proposition. Eventually, that game came around. He made sure that Jack had gotten you tickets, even going as far as suggesting that you should sit with their parents during the game. 

He felt like a nervous wreck all before the game, wondering if he would even get the chance to score a goal just so he could get a date with the most beautiful human being he had ever met. However, those nerves were not needed, as he ended up getting a hat trick by the end of the game. Each goal scored he searched for your face in the stands to give you a little wink. Quinn had felt like a king that night, not only bringing in the win for his team but also the prospect of getting to take you on a date.

By the end of the night, you found yourself opening a text from an unknown number. 

Hey, I hope you don’t mind that I got your number from Jack. Anyways, about that date? :)

[somegirlontheinternet135]

Ok but, how cool would it be if there was a click & point adventure game and dating sim based around The Beasts

Like, imagine you, the player, woke up in a dark, unknown forest. You don't know how, or why, you got there, but one thing's for sure, you don't want to stay for long, who knows what kind of horrors could be lurking in the darkness. . ? Quickly you make use of the environment, gathering wood & making a fire (via a minigame) in hopes it'll alert some cookies to your location, and while it doesn't work at first, it does give a certain someone, or something, a beacon to your location. . .

As you sit before the fire you just built, you begin to notice something was off. . . the forest you were in, it was quiet, eerily quiet, normally at night, many forest would be bustling with some sort of life: the sounds of night beasts, owls in the night, maybe the occasional cricket, but there was nothing. What only adds to this uncanny wood were its lack of creatures, not once did you encounter any sort of beasts on your journey. . . both these factors alone made you question what was really happening, is this all a dream? were you going crazy? questions were racing through your head, till finally, something snaps you out of it. . .

"Ooooooh!~ What do we have here?~"

"Has a little cookie come by to give me a visit?~"

A voice from the darkness pulls you out of your thoughts, jolting you onto your feet. Hearing that so suddenly within such a vacant space, you could've sworn you were alone. . ! You frantically look around, desperately trying to find the source of the voice, but the thing only laughs at you. . .

"W-Who's there?! show yourself!!"

"*Ehehe he he he HE HE HE HE!*"

"Try looking up here, darling~"

Your attention was slowly drawn to a tree behind you. On one of the branches, two heterochrome eyes staired at your from below, taking you off-guard, was that. . . a cookie? The creature made zero attempts to hide themselves as he jumps off the tree branch, over your fire. Light from the flames revealed their figure, they appeared to be some sort of jester, its figure & face making them resemble that of a cat. They do a bow before finally introducing themselves

"Shadow Milk Cookie, the world's favorite trickster~"

"Pleasure to meet you!"

In this scenario, the player is given two options, each of course having a different outcome:

Run Away

Sprinting away in fear will, of course, cause Shadow Milk to chase, eventually getting caught, though this does increase his interest in you

"*heh he he HE HE HE!* where are you going you silly little thing?!~"

"That was so much fun!~ I think I'm starting to like you already!~"

Standing Your Ground & Ask Questions

Respectably, you don't anything regarding the fallen heroes, but asking more questions does leave Shadow Milk upset

"H-How could you not know who I am?!"

"Shadow Milk Cookie, actor, playwright, dictator, does that not right a bell?!"

This's basically how the story starts. The player is isekaied into this strange world and are quickly met with the Fallen Heroes, who all woo the player with their charm & status in an attempt to find out how they got in, so they can do the same to get out. . . whatever that means. But one thing leads to another, and they all fall in love with the player, fighting over them. As for the player, they transverse through the strange world, learning of it and its secrets via minigames, hidden secrets, and puzzles, all while learning about the fallen heroes and their backstories. . .

I picture the game itself being a mix between one of those disturbing click & point adventure games (i.e. Sally Face, Fran Bow, and Little Misfortune) and a dating sim (i.e. Obey Me) which by itself, would cause major emotional whiplash, cause imagine going from seeing the most messed up sh*t to smooching your jester bf. For reference, think of the game as "Little Goody Two Shoes" something you should play btw!

[dykedvonte]

i ADORE how you describe benny! why do you think he slept with the courier AND left without killing them the morning after? i know the game designers had to have that happen but with almost every other option (unless you're able to convince him you'll stay away) ending with him attempting to kill you, i don't see why he wouldn't at what could be a perfect opportunity.

Benny is not at messy and petty as people portray him.

His “cowardly” or stupid actions are really pragmatic when you actually take the time to think about them from his point of view instead of “Omg he’s so goofy what a loser this is obviously a discussion a loser makes.” Before I get to sleeping with Benny I think explaining his other weird moves helps.

The first is by far him waiting for you to wake up before shooting you in the head. It’s an odd thing to do as it holds him up, gives you a glimpse of your attackers and doesn’t match the less than noble things he does like abandoning the Khans and how he took care of the singer in the all roads comic. But it makes sense. Benny has a rather strong sense of personal morals, skewed and contradictory as they are.

If it is a detriment to him and the Chairmen he becomes cold and calculated, he will leave you for dead or make sure you can’t get to him or them. It’s why he tries to kill you at first, per your contract you will hunt him down and that is very bad for a man trying to be discreet. But you seeing his face? Him apologizing about you being in the middle? He expected you to die, to never be found and in a way he puts your loose end to rest. He buries you in one of the few places that is specifically for a dead body. Benny doesn’t want unnecessary collateral and what he deems necessary/unnecessary really just depends of how he accesses you as a risk. It’s the same reason he leaves Emily Ortal alive. It’s very unlikely a Follower is gonna stop a plan for an independent strip even if they’ve been cheated.

It’s why he leaves the Khans. He already dislikes them but the Khans are still raiders/tribals like him and the other casino families. A rose by any other name and all that. Even if they made it and he paid they have such incriminating evidence against him that he’d never be able to stand up to them if they decided to hang it over his head. Yeah he’s making more unnecessary enemies but in his mind it’s that or having another very real threat over his plans.

Benny makes these assessments very quickly. It’s not that you’re some silver tongued charmer when you get him alone but that he genuinely thinks it’s better at this point to keep you alive and get you on his side than kill you. Of course, this is if you can convince him of that and not have him set a trap for you. When you sleep with him he basically thinks you’re fucked in the head, outside of the two bullets he put in there, and more curious and vengeful. It’s quick fun and he dips after because whether you mean to help him or not he’s now on crunch time as it’s impossible House won’t notice his Courier showing up sans one platinum chip.

Most of Benny’s actions towards other people is dictated by if he sees them as a liability. It’s very odd to think deeply about because it clashes with the cool cat persona Benny puts on but it’s very in line with his raider/tribal roots he keeps trying to erase. He gets vulnerable and drops the acts and gets with the Courier because there was no perceived threat, it’s like how Caesar invites you to the Fort even if you like are vilified thinking you’d just like listen.

It’s less the sensible thing to do and more the comfort of your playing field and not feeling threatened in the moment.

[pressplay-if]

F*ck yes i loved that new update, loved basically everything about it, especially how the characters throw in how the mc is percieved....i love it.

I have to things i wanna say tho, nothing bad promise :) I get some things that are set with the mc, but there are some things that just kinda bother me(subjectively speaking here of course)

1: But why does mc not have a drivers license for instance, i get that poor mc would maybe not have had the funds for it, but a rich one had, and i imagine that the parents would have insisted they do one so that they can drive to important meetings to get a real job etc. yk what i mean?

2: So mc can only do vocals and sucks at everything else...feels kinda like mc is suuuper useless, like a magicarp that couldn't even perform splash, or a bird without wings etc. like i get that mc is more focused on singing and vocals but i would say that it would only make sense that mc can at least play one instrument(like many real artists/musicians do) so that when they are stuck in a loop maybe they can distract themself or smth yk to get back on the grind etc.?

Also wouldn't this mean, that if mc got sick and maybe lost their voice for a time or completely they would be even more useless....like a stone that wants to fly. And i don't mean to be rude here or something cause i genuinely like this game and the characters, but mc feels soo limited yk, and i know we still have only seen a little about mc but i would say that we should at least have one more hobby or smth.

Of course this is only my subjective opinion and please don't feel pressured to change anything, cause this is your story and you can do whatever you want with it, i just thought that i could give my two cents to it. Anyways have a good day and stay hydrated.

Heyooo ok so you really picked apart the MC lol but I totally laughed at how you described that 😂 a stone trying to fly

MC can actually drive, they just don't own a vehicle. That's because I wanna make a whole big thing about them getting their first own car/motorbike once the cash comes in you know 💖 also, it creates some nice little scenes like the cuddling Angel-option. But don't worry, MC can drive and will drive

MC doesn't like "suck" at everything else. They can play a little rhythm guitar and also they write most of the band's songs, so they're far from useless, even though they may not play another instrument (at the moment; I think I'm gonna add that option). So they're integral to the band, because even when it's Stevie writing the songs, she only ever writes for the MC. MC is very distinctive. It's interesting that you bring up MC losing their voice though bc that may or may not be a plot point later on. MC not really having another hobby is also kind of intentional. They will shift and change, but at this stage, you're playing as a very obsessed little creature. Their only real hobby besides singing rn is collecting vinyls. So I totally get what you're saying and I understand MC feels limited, but rn, that's kind of just how they are. Things may change. Others may not. Chapter 2 will give a lot more insight on MC, and a bunch more choices for y'all to make about them.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Third time the charm?

I am back! @spotaus

Look I got the week off and I am sick. there is very little else I am going to do except game, write and watch vods. So here I am again!

Back to filling up the, in my mind, holes in the story so far before we continue on!

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*------------------*

Dust looks at the many books before him as he tries to think of what to get for Nightmare. Nightmare meanwhile is being a good babybones and stays by Horror eating ice cream.

Dust continues to stare at the books. Trying to think back. What did six year olds have to learn at this point anyway? And how far ahead of that is Nightmare?

Dust knows that Nightmare is smarter than the average six year old. That is a given. Dust knows his vocabular and reading skills are also far above average.

Dust just isn't sure how far certain skills and knowledge got reversed for him.

"Still no luck?"

Dust blinks out of his staring and looks up at Horror "What?"

Horror nods to the books, Nightmare easily held in one arm against his shoulder. Nightmare looks even tinier in Horror's hold and Dust already thinks Nightmare is smaller for his age than he should be.

Smarter but smaller.

Dust shrugs and turns back to the shelf he had been searching "Not sure on his skills."

Horror hums and looks at the books himself. Dust turns back to the options and thinks. They are still moving and universe hopping a lot making it impractical to take too many. One or two at most. That way they can at least start with some classes.

Horror turns to him and Dust looks up to show he has his attention. Horror nods towards the shelf "test level?"

Dust shakes his skull "I could but to specific." if he happens to pick a subject Nightmare still knows about it would set Nightmare up for more difficult classes, even while Nightmare may not be ready for all of those.

Horror hums in understanding as he searches the shelf.

Dust turns back again and thinks. They should at least get a math book. Math is after all to train your brain and problem solving skills. Which would be helpful. Probably basic add and substractions. He searches the shelf and picks out the book that looks promising.

Horror looks at the book before nodding and turning back "What else?"

And that is the problem isn't it? Because most subjects are still too complex for Dust's taste to get. history and geography while both would probably interest Nightmare both are very universe depended and just teaching him stuff about a world they may not even stay in would just be a waste of time.

Horror nudges his shoulder and once Dust looks at him he nods towards the english section "He likes poetry."

Dust blinks and nods. Maybe that is fine? He is already for ahead with english anyway. Maybe giving him something to work and read which is familiar and liked by him while they struggle through math together will be good for his motivation? Dust nods to Horror and walks over there.

Dust frowns at all the titles. He knows very little about this kind of stuff. He searches the story and finds a store clerk and walks over to them "Hello."

The person jumps and turns quickly "oh! Hi! I am sorry i didn't notice you... euh... what can i help with?"

Dust nods to the poetry books "Want a book."

The person blinks and nods "okay.... are you looking for a theme? Or a certain writer? A specific age or focus?" they walk towards the right shelf and look back at Dust.

Dust frowns and glances over at Nightmare nad Horror. Nightmare shrugs and hides his face while Horror looks unsure himself. Dust thinks for a moment "Need a book for the babybones. He already has one." Dust can't remember the name or writer of the book.

The clerk smiles and takes out a thin book with easy rhyming "This should be fine!"

Dust takes it and studies it and it doesn't feel the same. he shakes his skull and hands it back "There was a line in the book... of a poem he reads a lot..." and Dust has read a lot to him. "It went something like 'The dark goes deep but it is no end. Because in the night broken things mend. A time to rest and time to heal, it is the moment when we have a meal.'" Dust frowns as he tries to continue "something something... then later 'The night holds and the night protects. hidden away with all its gems. Holding the stars and letting those shine. until...' and that is what i remember from that..." and he waits.

The clerk frowns "That kinda seems like a few writers from the great depression..." they search the shelf and pull out an older looking book. They hand it over and frown "It seems a bit complex for a tiny child though..." and they shoot a smile in Nghtmare's direction. Not that nightmare is looking at any of them.

Dust looks through the book and nods "I think this will work..." it seems more on par of the book that Nightmare has been reading.

They go to the counter and Dust pays for the two books.

Dust and Horror leave the store together. The person says something but Dust isn't paying any attention to them as he checks the math book. the poetry book already in his bag.

Horror looks a bit embarrased and Dust frowns "What is wrong?"

Horror shrugs and rubs his cheek sheepish "Just... the what that person said."

Dust frowns as he glares back at the shop "Something bad?" he can go back and make them pay easily enough-

Horror holds up his one free hand "no no! Nothing like that... just..." and he shrugs as he keeps a tight hold on Nightmare. Seems like Nightmare is getting fussy. meaning either he is tired or hungry and he goes to acting grumpy because that is easier to hide behind than admitting he needs something.

Dust blinks back and nods at Horror "If you are sure-"

"Horror! Dust! Wait up!"

Dust freezes and glares "Oh are you fucking with me." That are the fucking stars. shit. He looks at Horror and sees that Horror made the same conclusion and that Nightmare is frozen in his hold.

They share a look. Dust is holding unto too many things to do the same as he did before and he doubt he can use the same tactic twice to get them out.

They have both been spotted.

Horror looks at Nightmare and clearly gets an idea as he pulls Nightmare back a bit "Stay still and don't move."

Some confusion brekas through the panicked look but Nightmare nods and that is all Horror needed as he lifts his shirt and just puts Ngihtmare under it nad IN his ribcage.

Moments later horror has the shirt on normally again and Nightmare isn't in view at all.

Right. Nightmare is small enough to be hidden like that-

running steps and Blue and Dream stop by them. Blue pants "FInally! Am I happy to see you!"

Dust and Horror share a confused look and Dust frowns "Since when?"

Blue looks a bit sheepish and looks at Dream. Dream looks very uncomfortable as he rubs his hands "I... euh... I was wondering... euh..." he looks around and spots the books Dust is holding "oh! Getting things for your little one?" and he smiles.

Dust nods and only after agreeing he remembers what Cross said last time they came across the Stars.

Dream nods once he realises that Dust isn't going to speak "Right! Yes. That is amazing! I... I see everything is well? How is the little one?"

Blue nods "We realised you never told us the little guy's name..."

Dust knows he is glaring as he speaks slowly "He is doing fine." and he stops there. shooting them a challenging look.

Blue coughs in his hand before looking at Horror "sup!"

Horror however looks many times more annoyed then Dust feels. Probably because Horror right now feels the nervous and anxious magic of Ngihtmare a lot more directly than they feel when they are just holding him. Putting him more on edge.

Blue gives a slow nod and looks away "Right..."

Dust raises a brow "Did you want anything specif or just wanted to waste our time?"

Dream flinches before smiling "I... I did have a request... I was... I was wondering... If you guys could ask Nightmare to meet with me?"

Dust freezes for a moment before his glare gets worse "Why the fuck would we do that? Just so you can lure him into a trap? Hunt him down some more?"

Dream shakes his skull quickly "I just want to talk..." he rubs his arm. "It is... personal."

Horror crosses his arms "I remember this happening once before." Dust nods and glares himself. it had been a whole thing where Dream tried to stage an intervention about Nightmare needing to be better and see that there are other ways to continue on instead of this path of hate he had set on.

The fact Dream had gone it to an adult Nightmare was bad. The fact that they now knew that their tiny babybones boss was in there the whole time just makes it worse.

Drema looks pale and shakes his skull "It isn't liek that! and... I know i shouldnt have done that back then either! I... I didn't have all the facts and information but I need to talk with nightmare about it-"

Killer appears and has his knife right by Dream's chin "Don't bother. You try to go near Boss ever again and we will end you." Killer's voice is low and dangerous. "We haven't been doing shit to your precious multiverse. leave us alone."

Dust watches the standoff when Cross joins his side and looks him and Horror both over worried and anxious. A small whine starts to leave his throat when Dust signs that Horror has Nightmare hidden. making sure to use their personal coded signs for it. Cross relaxes and leans against him as the tension disappears.

Dust looks back at the standoff to see that Dream has backed up, still looking pale and now heartbroken as well. Blue seems to be trying to reason with Killer but you have more luck reasoning with a pig in the mud than trying to get Killer to stop doing what he wants.

Dust raises his voice a tiny bit "We are leaving." the other three nod and Dsut looks at the two Stars "Stop bothering us." this was already the third time they happened to be in the same universe and Dust did not want to make it a fourth.

They quickly leave and once out of sight make a portal somewhere else. They hide away and quickly check on Nightmare. dust watches as Killer coos and nuzzles Nightmare and feels a bit calmer.

It is fine. They will not let anyone get their babybones.

*----------------*

And the third time the Stars came across the gang and Nightmare! (one of which they didn't fully notice but it still counts!)

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[fostersffff]

I've been percolating a lot on this since catching up to Undead Unluck a few months ago, and with the most recent chapters I think I can commit to it: this is maybe the strongest "video game-core" story I've ever read, and I mean that endearingly.

I haven't engaged very much with series like Sword Art Online or the various "REBORN IN ANOTHER WORLD THAT OPERATES ON VIDEO GAME RULES AND I'M LEVEL 9999 WITH MAXIMUM STATS (AND I GET A SLAVE HAREM)" LNs out there, but the impression I get is that the vast majority of them kinda just use the "video game" angle as a cynical hook. There's no passion for video games as a medium, certain mechanics from video games, or even just a specific video game; it comes across as "the NEETs who buy this garbage love video games", and they write a story with a main character who's meant to be projected on to who's The Strongest by Being So Good At Video Games and everyone likes them unconditionally and they may or may not get to have sex with beautiful anime girls (consent optional).

Undead Unluck comes across like it was written by someone who actually really likes video games- perhaps you might even call Tozuka a gamer. The structure of the story very quickly becomes video gamey- a party of Uniquely Powered Characters are given time-limited missions to fight Powerful Bosses (UMAs and Negators), and get rewards that will give them better odds against the Final Boss (literally God). Each set of missions brings ticks them closer to that Final Boss fight, and when they inevitably lose, the loop restarts, and they basically have to start again from scratch, except for two people who operate on "New Game +" rules: Undead, and whoever rides the Ark (which was always Unjustice).

The entire conceit of the second half of the story is that Fuuko has spent the last ~200 years of the current loop using the accumulated knowledge and experience from the previous loop doing what Victor and Juiz never thought to do: Metagaming and Side Quests.

The whole point of story from when Fuuko rode to arc to now is the execution of the God Run/Golden Route/True Ending by doing everything perfectly to save everyone. In doing so, the true antagonists are forced to reveal themselves early, and are put so hard onto their collective back foot that they literally (to the point that it was the name of a chapter) cheat to usher in the Final Boss early, which involves them splitting off into little chambers that protect the Final Boss, and the heroes having to break up into smaller parties for each fight.