#but the peices didnt fit
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Here's my take on the relationship between John and Arthur.
They are soulmates. Are they romantically involved? God no. But they are soulmates.
They love each other but not in a way they can and ever be anywhere near functional. They are their own worst enemies.
They have been through too much and seen too many things that there is no question that they are fundamentally shattered and entangled in each other.
Arthur loves John and John loves Arthur, it should be simple right? But it is way too complex for that. They hate themselves and therefore hate the other person for loving them. They cannot be without each other because they love each other in a way they will never be able to change or let go of because of how much they have been changed by the other person.
So many people are confused about the idea that you can love and hate a person to the extent shown in this podcast. The healthy thing to be done would have been to separate the two before the dreamlands, but it's gone too far. They've done too much to help, spite, confuse, and destroy the other to be separate for a moment. Let alone have separate heads.
It's the only thing left for them now. Because they can only be a complete person together.
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe#harlan guthrie#its like two puzzle pieces#but the peices didnt fit#so they started ripping pieces off eachother#and themselves#until they forced the connection#and now they are a pile of spare pieces#nothing else will fit anymore.#so its either eachother#or nothing#leaving them from one puzzle piece to a pile of broken shards.
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I've been seeing a ton of people revisit The Biggest Loser and being like WHAT the actual fuck is this garbage and like yeah. Every time I see or hear stuff about it it gets worse, it's like I blocked it from my memory because the show always made me uncomfortable perhaps because it was the embodiment of diet culture lived out in reality and I've never had any feeling but hatred towards diet culture. Shit gives people so many body issues for no reason, and The Biggest Loser reveled in leering at fat bodies like some kind of fucked up modern freak show. Gives me the heebs AND the jeebs.
#winters ramblings#jillian micheals is SUCH a peice of shit. she treats people DISGUSTINGLY and someone should have told her to fuck off#or at LEAST began screaming at amd treating her like a contestant so we could at least derive some kind of joy out of watching HER#get screamed at all day every day i always felt bad for the people busting their asses#they didnt even TRY to teach anyone good food habits or fitness either they just made them do absurd exercise#no NORMAL person does every day. putting someone on a HIGHLY restrictive diet and forcing them to exercise all day#is NOT healthy that is an EATING DISORDER straight up#PLUS the contestants often gained the weight back sometimes PLUS more and it was found that they had a HARDER time losing weight#because the fucked diet of the show fucked their metabolism to hell so its even MORE impossible to lose weight#at ALL let alone long term. so fucked up this was on tv like LITERALLY modern freak show shit
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oh!! okay, i forgot (hit the image limit LMAO):
the shoes are from this wreck-it-ralph anna doll (also from that old doll clothes lot) and fit FANTASTICALLY. catty has slightly smaller feet than the other mh dolls and shes the only one they ACTUALLY fit.
theyre shaped like shes walking on her toes (which i think is VERY cute), and i painted the toe part like cat paws. its a little messy but it was a moment-of-brilliant-inspiration thing lol. ive been trying to style these on a doll for aaaaages.
deuce in the skirt, my littlest sister was playing w/ him and thought he was ROCKING it.
and the post i mentioned where someone else tried that floral dress!! i think it looks really good and i wouldnt be surprised if i snapped it up myself sometime soon.
logged on tumblr JUST to say how much i love catty. after playing whackamole with walmarts i finally found one that said they had her in stock when i called and managed to get my hands on her. i love her just as much in person as i thought i would. i don't like her outfit much but every time i touch her doll it makes me SO happy how solid she feels in my hands!! i don't even have her in my dustproof shelves because i want to hold her a lot and she looks so cute posing off of the side of my dresser
anyway leave in the notes what clothes you've found that fit her because i have pretty much nothing in my mh stuff and i need to play dress up with her stat
#alright!! sorry to flood u lol#i didnt want to rec anything i hadnt tried myself bc pics can be deceiving#but ive seen a lot of rlly cute restyles on reddit and a lot of the time ppl mention what the clothing peices are#or will if u ask#*pieces#if u end up trying anything else and it fits pls let me know!! im also looking ;]#monster high
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Hey there, Sailor.
pairing: fisherman!eddie + gn reader
wc: 1.8k
warnings: talk of the upside down, brief mention of scars
summary: he's a fisherman now, 20 something and trying to figure things out. The bakery he passes on his trek home finally lures him in one day, and a new friend (or maybe more) is made
a/n: greatly inspired by this fic by @/dr-aculaa | i had so much fun writing this, and i really hope you enjoy <3
It was 1995. ten years had come and gone since then. Things had calmed down. He had calmed down.
He found himself in the dreary west coast town of seattle, working on a boat catching fish for a somewhat sketchy payment. The grimey parts of which even grossed him out sometimes. He'd seen slimy creatures with rows of teeth from other dimensions and yet still some sea creatures made his skin crawl.
He was out of hawkins---he had lived through everything. He fought hard. And he made it. The monitors still rhythmically beeped in the back of his mind when he slept sometimes. The dull scars still riddled his abdomen, a not so subtle reminder of his close encounter with death. After everything he'd been through, eddie resorted to a quiet existence. Gone were the days of the loud, long haired boy with silver clad hands. The ripped jeans and homeade denim vest, covered in patches and pins were left behind. Soon replaced with cable knit sweaters and dickies, his beanie covering his shaved head.
He decided the quiet was easier, Though socialization was hard to come by when his work day ended when everyone else's began.
Making the early trek back home from the docks, he finds himself passing the little bakery on the corner. Usually he passes it and finds a 'we are closed' sign hanging on the door, but sometimes he catches glimpses of you setting up your quaint little shop for the day. Today, as he approaches the shop, the sign reads,
'we are open'
He peers in the window for a moment, advertisements for local bands, theater productions and bar crawls plastered over the glass. Soon his feet carry him inside, contrary to his brain, which was still deciding. As he enters the shop, the clash blares quietly from the back as he moves to the front, a second voice accompanying the song quietly.
"...Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine, I'll be here till the end of time"
Once upon a time the clash was his fourth favorite band, but after everything that he'd been through he found himself with music like elliott smith, and the smashing pumpkins. He cursed himself sometimes for listening to shit he used to call 'sad bastard crap', but he wasn't who he was in high school anymore, and it fit who he was now. Though now, he thought he might start listening to that stuff again. He was happier when he did anyway.
Standing awkwardly behind the cash register, he pulls his beanie off his head and brings a cold hand up to scratch his buzzed hair. His eyes wander the case, the freshly baked donuts and pastries sat carefully placed behind the glass, and when he looks back up, there you were.
In a metallica tour shirt. A warm smile on your face. "Hi." You coo, voice floating through the air. "I'm sorry if I kept you waiting, I opened early---I wasn't sure anyone would come in though" You add lightly, grateful he was your first customer of the day.
"that's alright" He says timidly. Soaking up your voice like morning sun.
He quietly requests a jelly filled donut. Just one he says. You happily get a peice of parchment paper and pick up the donut, carefully placing it in a bag.
"anything else?" You ask sweetly. His dark chocolate brown eyes meet yours as you set his donut on the counter in front of him, his still cold hands stuffed into the pockets of his carhartt jacket.
"that's ok." He says, slightly shaking his head no. He didnt want to be a bother and he was trying to not get caught up in your kind, warm smile that had his heart fluttering.
"you sure?" You questioned, "no coffee?"
"just the donut is ok. thank you, though" He says, politely declining and pulling out a couple of crumpled dollar bills to pay for the donut. You turn around and pour him a cup of coffee anyway. He looked tired. And it was cold outside.
You softly set the cup down next to his donut "on the house." You push the cup and bag toward him as he stares at it for a moment. His eyes sort-of wide. "really?" He questions, seemingly quite baffled by the gesture.
"you are my first customer of the day, after all" You say, shrugging.
He gives you a polite nod and makes his way toward the door, but not before turning around again to catch another glimpse. He pulled his beanie back on and sipped the coffee as he walked, holding the donut in his other hand. He found a park bench near his apartment and sat down, deciding he would eat the donut now.
he pulled the sweet treat out of the white paper bag, bringing it up to his mouth and taking a bite.
the sweet bread and jam melt in his mouth, causing him to fight a smile.
He makes the walk back to his apartment, and shuffles into the slightly grimey room, his boots squeaking on the floor. The smell of fish and salty air clung to his jacket as he hung it on the hook. He tried his best to make his dirt cheap apartment feel like a home. He decorated the walls with old band posters from his room in his uncles trailer, glimpses of what now seemed like a past life. He hung mugs just like his uncle did, to make it feel like home. Sometimes he missed the sense of home his uncles trailer gave him, but he did everything he could to remind himself of it. Although he didn't want to be back in hawkins, he didn't want to forget it either. He stripped off his work clothes to get ready for bed, finding himself daydreaming of the bakery owner he'd met today, who gave him the best donut he'd had in years.
When he left work the next morning, the donut shop was once again, open early. As he approaches the flyer covered windows, he finds himself, dare he say, nervous. He wondered if you made any new pastries today that he could try. His stomach twisted a little at the unfamiliar feeling, he hadn't felt like this about a person in a while, or ever, really. He carefully opened the door, eyes traveling the case of pastries as he walked in.
"Hey there, sailor" You greet as you walk out of the back kitchen, this time a metallica song plays faintly from your radio.
He smiles shyly at your greeting and gives you a small wave.
"What can I do for you?" You ask, turning around and putting on a pair of plastic gloves.
"What would you recommend?" He asks after a beat of silence.
Your face lights up with a warm smile, pleased that he asked your opinion. "I made beignets this morning" You say softly. "they're fresh"
He perks up a little at your words and nods slightly. "that sounds good" He says, a tight lipped but sincere smile on his face.
You nod politely and start to walk into the back and prepare him a little paper boat of them but then stop yourself.
"---do you want to come into the back?" You say, before you even realized what had come out of your mouth.
"--but I reek of sea animals?" He says, intrigued but slightly confused why you're inviting this smelly fisherman into your workspace.
"that's ok. come if you want." You shrug and leave the little swinging counter door open for him to enter if he chooses.
You walk into the kitchen, trays of donuts lining the metal counter tops, making your way toward a small plate of beignets. You pick up the confectioners sugar placed next to the plate and lightly dust a helping of it on top of the fried delicacies. Turning around you pick up a small paper tray and carefully place some of them inside.
"I like the music" You hear his voice say from across the table. "You can turn it up if you'd like. the radios right there" You say, a sweet smile on your face as you point over to the radio on your counter.
"Now some men like a fishin'
And some men like the fowlin'
And some men like to hear
To hear the cannonball roarin'
Me, I like sleepin'
'Specially in my Molly's chamber"
He doesn't turn the radio up. He likes that it's faintly playing, just enough to hear it if you really listen. "You a metallica fan?" You ask, looking up for a moment before lightly dusting the serving you'd prepared him.
He smiles sheepishly, scratching his head. "---In a past life" flashes of his james hetfeild esque haircut running through his mind.
You hand him the serving of beignets, giving him a small nod and then leaning against the counter behind you.
"not so much anymore?"
"I've decided I like the quiet more" He speaks quietly.
The conversation comes to a halt as he bites into one of the beignets you gave him. A sigh of, relief? pleasure? You couldn't quite place it escapes his chapped lips.
"I hope they're good. I've been workshopping the recipe for weeks" You speak, hopeful.
"They're more than good" He says, in the same deep and quiet voice.
"good" You nod, the ghost of a smile on your face.
"Uhm- do you mind me asking what brought you here? ---to seattle, i mean. it's quite a gloomy place for a 20--something--kid to move to---but I guess I'm one to talk" You talk quietly, worried you were talking too much to someone who didn't like that---he was very quiet--you couldn't tell.
Big brown eyes look up from the breakfast treat and at you, he swallows and thinks for a second.
"my hometown is---strange. I love it---but I had to get out of there. and here seemed like a good fresh start, I guess" He says, his voice gruff but kind.
"how long have you lived here?" You inquire, trying not to impose too much
"eight years"
"seven" you say, trying to find common ground "you should start coming in more often, I could use a familiar face" You had regulars at the bakery, but they were all simple hellos and goodbyes and small talk. This one seemed like it could be a friendship. Maybe you wanted more than that with this gruff and quiet fisherman who stumbled into your bakery, but you'll cross that bridge when you get there.
He stares for a moment, seemingly considering and running all the possible outcomes. "Yeah---Yeah."
You smile warmly at him from across the counter. He smiles sheepishly back.
He walks home in the cold and light rain that morning, thinking of ways he could talk to you. He didn't know alot, but he knew that you seemed like someone he'd like to keep around.
#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things 4#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson angst#eddie munson x gn!reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson headcanon#eddie munson x y/n#fairy's fics#fairy speaks#eddie munson 脳 reader#stranger things#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson st4#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson imagines#eddie munson au
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hi yes hello im the lowish int wizard anon! no offence was taken! ive never actually played dnd so i dont know the ins and outs very well at all, and it was an entirely hypothetical question as i have no plans to play either. that said, i do have ocs i made with dnd mechanics (ie classes and such), one of them being a wizard! his name is Vi :3. and yes. hes not the smartest man around. the largest reason i asked is because, he keeps his components in colour coded pouches - with matching bracelets (blue on the left and red on the right) - so he knows where his peices are because hes a little bit of a scatterbrain and i love him. it wouldnt do any good in a fight to go "ah shit give me a sec where did i put my amber" you know? i didnt think that would classify as low wisdom. i have 0 idea if he would work at all the way he currently is. lmao.
again, my man will more then likely never be used in a real game so this is all just food for thought and fun to mess around with. thanks for awnsering and offering to give ideas! i really value your metas and such. you appear very well spoken.
Hey anon! Thank you! Anyway good news. That is CLASSIC low wisdom. Absent-minded academic who is brilliant in a very narrow field of study and can't remember where he put a single spell component or his keys or literally anything? That is practically the definition of high intelligence, low wisdom. Give your wizard high intelligence and super low wisdom (and no proficiency in investigation - stick it all in arcana and history and nature and such) and go forth to your heart's content. (But also...at this point I would say that if you are using D&D mechanics to help create an OC but don't intend to play, you can kind of do whatever; just know that if you do get an opportunity and want to play this guy in a D&D game you should re-do the stats to fit with gameplay, ie, high intelligence)
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Alright Im back and Im tired of pretending,
From where I stand, as someone who likes exploring the narrative and especially the characters of a narrative We're lalaloopsy is more interesting to watch than the original series. And as someone whos passionate about design Lalaloopsy Girls was a fun redesign of the franchise.
I realized part of why I dropped the series and took a long break is because of the fandom. The hostility towards anything that tries to be different made me feel like I was walking on eggshells at times. And while I was vocally a fan of some of the media I always worried that being open about enjoying it would cause my peers and followers to turn on me.
People are so quick to let nostalgia talk and convince them that the original was the best version it could be, and I'm tired of just nodding along and saying things I dont mean about what I like to fit in.
The reboots do try to make an effort to improve upon what exists and I feel like if We're Lalaloopsy was given more time it would have gotten its footing. I feel like that need to cling to the past nostolgia blinds people. Not every reboot is going to be perfect but I'm tired of people shooting them down because its different.
IT SHOULD BE DIFFERENT. Churn out the same thing over and over again and it'll get stale. I had more fun watching that stupid movie about them in highschool than any of the originals and I'm heart broken it didnt make it further. I'm Tired of pretending I think lalaloopsy girls is ugly when its literally my favorite peice of Lalaloopsy media.
It doesn't have to be your cup of tea. No one is obligated to like anything. But in the same vein I ended up feelling obligated to hate something because everyone else did.
I'm tired of feeling like people will devalue my opinions or consider me a fake fan of the series for acknowledging what the reboots do well.
I stopped working on my own reboot because of it. I felt like no matter what I did it wouldnt be going enough for the community. That I'd rock the boat too much with my ideas. That by not sticking to the original I was devaluing the series.
Its easy to forget that real people were behind the reboots with likely the same passion as us bloggers. And that they were at the mercy of MGA. They tried their best and had the plug pulled by a corperation before they really got to tell their story.
I'm coming back, I'm not going to pretend anymore. I'm doing this because I am passionate about the series and want to see it evolve.
The reboots were clumsy sure, but they were charming. Nothing is intrinsically bad because its trying to be different.
#sorry to vent on side blog#especially off website the fandom is so hostile to the newer generation it kills me to see#it kills my flow it makes me nervous#i know i cant please everyone but being stubborn could rob you of a great experience or at the very least a little laugh
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Heres mine I still need to remake it lol
I just handmade this Kaito Kid top hat today! I couldn't really find one online, so I made one myself! Though of course, there are slight changes in detail. But either way I'm so happy to finally have his hat!
#I cosplayed KID awhile ago#Striped the Regal Top Hat from spirit halloween of its black felt with a seam ripper#And got some bright white faux satin from the fabric store#I used the black fabric peices to make a template on the back of the faux satin but messed up bc I traced them too large#The top cover came out too large#so trace them very close to the original soze#but anyway#I glued some extra white fabric directly to the hate base so the outer layer wouldn't see through to the black hat underneath#Then all you gotta do is measure the peices for the rim#I made mine so they would ride up on the tophat part so that no one could make out a seam#Its ok if its ugly yhe ribbon will cover it up anyway lol#the bottom part of the rim is somewhat easier you just gotta trace the rim onto fabric again and cut it out then make a hole in the middle#I didnt put fabric on th part where your head goes bc no one will see it and I ran out of fabric lol#Then all you gotta do is sew the top peices together and fit it over#Glue that bad boy and all the other peices#DO NOT use too much fabric glue#I mean it does fade and is hardly noticeable if you do use too much but it still made me go eeeehahshsh3hwj#Then pop the ribbon on and your done!#I really like the hat you made op If Kaito was real he would love you
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Alright alright im done crying now and since i did a book review of the symposium im doing a book review of alcibiades so buckle up . Yes , i am aware no one cares about this , but its fine . First i gotta say this is marginally worse than the simposium but in a woerd way . Its still good , dont get me wrong , but i like the symposium better . I dont know if its just because i like long peices of text , which the simposium had but this one lacks , or because its simply lacking in content . The messeges are alright , nothing shocking so far , very aproachable , very understandable very easy . You can tell its written with a goal to educate people of all intelligence . Its an easy book thats what im saying . Now
This decked me in the face with a steel chair
( trans: i belive , son of clenias , that you wonder despite the fact that i fell in love with you first, im the only one who continues to while the others have left , and continiusly pester you , while all these years i havent even greeted you )
Right off the bat , this is very different from the simposium . We are getting explicit proof that alcibiades and socrates are in a romantic relationship. First i thought that the book was imidietly worse that the for stating it so obviously, because i quite liked the ambiguity in the simposium, but then i undertood that the two books , despite being difrent , complement eachother perfectly and present a natural chain of events.
First off all in the simposium it is made clear that alcibiades got rejected because he had nothing to give to socrates besides hollow beuty and socrates had nothing to give to alcibiades, since the knowlage he belived he had wasnt real ( one thing i know i know nothing and so on so forth ) . Now we are getting a more in-depth explanation as to how they ended up together despite that little talk . Basically from what i gather since socrates doesnt like being a teacher because he doesnt know shit he used the maieutice ( or however the fuck its spelled ) because he belives that to gain knowledge one must first undertand that they are lacking it and second ask themselves questions to try to get it . He didnt think he could give knowlage to alcibiades then because he didnt think alcibiades desired to learn . He couldn't make him a good man , but he could later help him grow and learn so he could make himself a good man , all of those things needed alcibiades willing to put the work in , and not relay on socrates to just snap his fingers and turn him good , like he expected in the simposium .
( trans: speak , my dear , and i will listen)
Now the word for word translation is a little different. That little " 蠅纬伪胃苇 " litterally translates to " good " , but since both men use it generously and plenty throught the dialogue, i can only assume it was a common pet name of the time . Its worth noting that calling people good ( 魏伪位蔚 渭慰蠀 , 魏伪位畏 渭慰蠀 ) is also a pet name in todays greece , or maybe 50 years ago greece , that ive deeply assosiated with posh , high class very polite ladies and gentlemen. I dont know why but ive only heard it used in that uper society politeness, and when i first read alcibiades saying it it fit like a glove
Socrates also tends to pamper alcibiades with compliments all throught the text , and making a lot of attemts at flattery , which i think serve the purpose both to showcase that socrates is an admirer of beauty, to show that goodness and virtue are to be praised , but also because he is being so unbelivably annoying that without those little compliments to keep him on his good side , alcibiades would have puched him in the face . He calls him brave ( also tranlated as virtius ) beutiful , smart , beutiful again , like a bunch , and overall slaps a pet name next to his name any time he mentions him
( trans : no , by our mutual friend zeus , who protects both me and you , in whose name i would take a fake vow . If you have such teacher , say it )
( trans : by zeus i didnt ignore it , but i knew clearly i was being wronged )
Now zeus is mentioned a lot in this text . Thats not entirely true . Zeus is mention a lot by alcibiades in this text . In the instance socrates talks of him , he uses an epithet and not his actuall name , praises him , and very clearly states the importance and nessecity of the vow . He is being very cerful and very poilite. Alcibiades just short of does whatever . He contantly says by zeus , for no aparent reason , and as an awnser to anything and everything , just casually sprinkles it i converastion. Now im not sure if this is blashemy , or if im just entirely mistaken , but its really highlighting the fact that alcibiades doesnt cae and never has cared much about being proper to the gods. It reminded me of that one line from the simposium, where alcibiades vowed something to possidon for abseloutely no reason and socrates hot mad at him in a very casual way , in the way he would scold a ten year old for having candy before dinner . He knew alcibiades saw blasphemy as a part time sport , he was used to it and he didn't bother yelling at him much , since the act was bound to repeat its self regardles . Similarly here , alcibiades very casually and normally takes gods name in vain , for no serious reason , and socrates is too used to it to react .
And finaly , the wholy grail
( trans : socr :you will speak to them ( the people of athens ) and this , which is right ?
Alc: i have to )
Socrates asks alcibiades if , later in the week during his political speach , when he adresses the people of athens , he will talk to them about matter that are moraly right and wrong . To me , this is the most crutial part of the dialoge , this is the backbone of the wntire consept and the translation does not do this justice . He asks if he will speak of right or wrong , and alcibiades replies " 伪谓维纬魏畏 " . " i must " i have too " or more litterally " out off need "
Now at first i was confused when i read alccibiades , out off all the people in the world , talking about wanting to be morally good . Alcibiades has always been a cunt . He is a genuengly horrid human being . And then i thought about it a bit and realised that when he is speaking to the people , he really is not. Reading a single speach of his that thucides has written and tgen comparing the image he portrays with his biography makes my point obvious . He uses morality to get what he wants constanly. In sparta , whils convincing the king to provide his shelter he didnt go the petty route , even if he could have . He didnt go the " i hate them and want revenge " route . He could have pulled it off . But he didnt attempt . No , instead he made himself apear virtius , apear good , saying he is just trying to regain his home , painting himself as a wronged man who is trying to undo his enemies wrongdoings . He used moral superiority to convince constantly and then turns around and fucks someones wife , because in privet he has abseloutely no need for morals .
Need is such a strong word . If you dont get what ypu need you will die , the fact that the author chose that in particular is inane to me . This is the part when it bacame obvious that alcibiades doesnt care about goodness , but cares a whole lot about greatness . He doesnt care about morality , but he would do anything to be gonsidered a great leader and get power . Socrates made sure he understood that to be great you first need to be good , but in turn , alcibiades understood that goodness is a tool for him to use to get what he trully wanted , a means to an end , not a final goal. He cannot reach true power without being good , and so he is forced into a road of virtue that doesnt fit him . He is a camilion in this instance , like plutarch called him in his biography , he puts on a virtus persona so he can gain influence and get things his way , even when later admiting to his true nature , to the fact that sometimes to him moral acts are not desirable , he frazes it strangely , never completely addmiting to it ,saying its improper to share such thoughts . He is the pinical of diplomacy, he used morality as a sield and as a front , as is visible in his later life in which he convices people to act on whats right and then privetly acts like a complete degenerate .
Now do i think that in some part he actually desired morality just for the sake of it ? Yes lf course , but its very obvious from the way he was raised that socrates failed to convince him to desire it for himself , not just for his work as a politian
#or not . im dont have a degree or anything. i aslo am kind of stupid so i might be wrong#honorable mentions : alcibiades saying he had been tought grammar gymnastics and music but not mentioning learning math . did he just never#learn math . he made a point of only being tought these three . did he not know math thats fucking hilarious good for him#thats all i have to say#alcibiades#socrates#socrates/alcibiades#ancient greece#philosophy#alcibiades I
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Hello, I just wanna say that your scene rewrites are amazing. Seeing Stars has got to be one of my favourites.
On the topic of Octavia, I agree that Viv and her team missed an opportunity with Via. To me in the context of the narrative, Octavia can be a tragic character that is screwed over by the writing. It is implied that she takes after Stolas with her love of astronomy as their form of bonding. Yet, she slowly watches her father drift away from them and is probably wondering if they鈥攕he even matters to him. You鈥檙e just watching a parent that you had a close bond to just leave you behind because they found someone else that captivated their interest. On top of the divorce that is currently going on would leave a child feeling doubtful.
I also just never understood why the writers want to keep having her being mad at her dad, even though they say that Stella has clearly been ruining the family, yet it鈥檚 his fault? Half the time the writing seesaws on Stella and Via鈥檚 dynamic because the only time she does care is when Stolas is there and鈥 get that could be counted as gaslighting, but the character lacks subtlety that it鈥檚 hard to tell when she鈥檚 always yelling. More often she doesn鈥檛 even care for her with two episodes implying this.
I just in general feel frustrated with this family because either avenue could be interesting if the writers took it seriously enough but they don鈥檛 and instead choose spur of the moment scenes that we have to use as jigsaw puzzle with some pieces not fitting because world building barely matters.
Sorry for the ramble. You鈥檙e version or fix it is probably one of my top favourites for the characters because I can definitely see the use of the loosely outlined jigsaw puzzle. Have a nice day/evening.
Thank you anon, im glad you like my rewrites
I agree 100% with via, they did the same thing with moxxie to her, that being repeating the same arc again of her being mad at her dad but forgive him in the end. It kind of shows that just like moxxie, they didnt know what to do with her which is a shame because the small details she has are there to be fully explored, but they never explore them. Like her and music, she oftens listens it even at the dinner table and with stellas reaction to the cheating affair, we can peice a puzzle of her doing it as a coping mechanism; escaping her problems through distraction. And with seeing stars main plot is around via running away to see a meteor shower, it would've been perfect to explore that side of her along with more knowledge of the family in general to piece this puzzle their giving (like the relationship with her mom, her uncle, the rest of their family, how they react to the situation, how their currently dealing with it, etc...) through flashbacks (since the whole point would've been that these issues wont go away no matter how much you try to ignore them) And yes, her closeness with her father drifting away is definitely tragic and its sucks that it wasnt futhered explored, especially with the entire goetta situation as a whole since were in season 2 and we dont even know how they reacted to it. It makes me wonder why even give us these pieces to solve properly if its so little that it makes it pretty impossible without theorizing from any vague info we have and thats not how problem solving works.
And yes, its odd that shes only mad at stolas but never to stella. I mean, i get she would be on her moms side because of him cheating but still with how stella is written, you'd think she'd hate her too. In this rewrite, stella would actually be subtle in her abuse to stolas in a way where you can still recognise it but also understand why other (like via) wouldnt. An example of this would be my first post where her and stolas confront each other about the divorce, the quote; '-or did you forget? Like you always do?'. Its meant to showcase her most common tactics, shaming. From her background (that i'll explain further in her own post), she oftens picks up things from her family, which shaming is included. She would shame stolas whenever he makes a mistake or does something she doesnt approve of (like if he wore a suit she didnt like, she would say; 'you know were meeting your family right? You think they want to see their son of royalty in that sort of wear?' or them arguing on how much time via should spend on her astronomy lessons; 'Shes going to be a future you and what, you wanna just, make her lazy, huh?!' (or even 'I didnt think you'd care that less for your own daughter....') See these are what you could recognise as shaming but also understand why people may not consider it so, potentially using excuses like 'oh shes probably right because its royalty/she just cares about looking good enough for her family' or 'oh she just cares for her daughter and her future' (ironically enough, those are kind of what fans AND the show itself use as an excuse for stolas lmao) but just because via doesnt recognise stella's abusive tendencies, doesnt mean she isnt upset with her. She very much is, mainly with stella's aggressiveness as stella developed anger issues throughout her life and didnt have anything to help it. Via hates it whenever stella yells because of course she would be, no one likes angry loud noises! Its just that unlike with stolas, shes not as open with her frustration to her mother because shes genuinely scared of her from that aggression that makes it much more harder to truly express her feelings about her, instead keeping it to herself along with her feelings towards how the rest of the family is reacting to it given that it just feels too much for her to be involved in. So the reason why shes only open on being mad at stolas is despite what he did, he's the only one she feels safe in being mad about (I mean, she does have andrealphus聽as someone safe to an extent though he's very dismissive of telling her whats going on with the goetias and definetly doesnt take being wrong well like stella so hes not much better) that way, it'd be more understandable and futher peice the puzzle of their family and their dynamic. Family itself is quite complicated because of the nuances it has behind it and i wanna incorporate that to the goetias were their not fully evil but tend to care about their statuses rather then whats right in front of them (that being them as a family) since i think its interesting to explore and wouldve suit stolas, stella and octavia really well.
No need to apologise for rambling, i like getting asks of peoples thoughts/ideas on helluva. Hell look, im rambling too. I hope you enjoy the future rewrites i have in store, have a nice day/evening too
#helluva boss critical#helluva boss critique#helluva boss criticism#helluva critical#helluva criticism#helluva critique#helluva boss rewrite#ask#anon
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Jealousy Part 11
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10
NSFW 09Soap/Ghost
blow job, orgasm denial, face fucking, throat fucking, top Soap, bottom Ghost, brat Ghost
When Soap walk in to Ghost bedroom the first thing he sees is the massiv dildo carelessly laying next to the pillows. 'Well my toys don't maul me like a animal in heat' echos in Soaps head, Ghost said that over two weeks ago. "Fucking brat", Soap curses to himself, so he had to keep it ins his pants but Ghost just fucked himself behind his back? Unacceptable." "Simon", he calls, sitting down on the bed. Ghost just panics the second Soap calls his name, remebering what he did after the walk with Riley and how he just left the dildo on his bed. He didnt even intent to tease Soap with him having fun alone. He just simply forget to put it away. He walks to his bedroom, giving Riley a hand sign to stay. He talkes a deep breath, ready to pretend he did this on purpose just to fuck with Soap a bit. It will just be a littel fun tease. He closes the door trying to have the most inocent expresion on his face. "Something a problem Soap", he ask as neutral as possible. "Whats this Simon?", Soap ask holling up the dildo. "A Dildo", Ghost gives the most smartass tone he can muster, grinning when he sees Soaps no shit sherlock look. "And why did I find this on your bed?" "I used it, of course." Soap is clearly not impressed by his attitude and behaviour. "And you dont put it away, why?" "Do I have too, in my own home?", Ghost ask with a big smirk on his face, Soap it getting angry.
"Come here", Soap growls. Ghost steps in front if Soap supressing his accitment. "Send me here to find this, Simon?" "Yes, Sir." Soaps mouths dropps open, not expecting Ghost to admit to doing this on purpose. Ghost smirk is growing, very proud of himself, he's clearing pushing all of Soaps buttons right now. "Really think you did something here dont you Simon?" "Well you're clearly hard, so I think I did", Ghost answers smug feeling proud of himself. "Well, good that my keeping it in my pants time is over then. Hope your ready to be reminded that Im better then this peice of plastic", Soap growls his eyes darkening. Ghost swallos, thinking he actully bit more off then he can chew. "I dont know, had a pretty good time with his bad boy", Ghost taunts making a motion to the toy. Soap is off the bed before he growls: "On your knees." "Make me." Ghost thinks he never see Soap move his fast, his knees hitting the ground painfully. "Now stay there", Soap orders before sitting back on the bed. Ghost feels how hes getting hard by just how domiate Soap got on him. Blushing hard a rows of fuck filling up his brain. He flew to close to the sun, he pushed to far and now has to take the consequences of his actions in whatever way Soap sees fit. Soap uses his foot to tilt Ghost chin up before he says: "I think it's time that I finally stuff your bratty mouth." Ghost moans at this. "Well never told you that you can't use your hand", Ghost just pushes Soap a bit further, he really cant shut up at this point. Soap looks at him with hungry eyes, before he pulls Ghost to his own crotch by his hair. "I think you can do something better with yout mouth then talk back, be a good boy for ones." Ghost looks up at Soap blushing, panting, moaning. "And, because you think you can be a brat without consequense you are not allowed to come at all, till I stuff my dick in your ass." "No, Soap please, I will be good, please you can't do this", Ghost begs in a panic, he fucked up, this was not the goal. "No, only good boys deserve to come and you weren't a good boy, Simon." Ghost didnt think Soap would put his foot down like this. Punishing him for being a brat sure he dont think Soap will let him get away with this forever. And it's also unfairly hot. Ghost feels how his boxers are start getting wet, sticking to his dick. Soap moves his hands to open his belt the sound gets Ghost out of his stupor. He replaces his Soaps hands with his own opening the fly and pulling out Soaps dick. A hand is returning to his hair holding his head in place. "You have some limits?", Soap ask, making sure to not take thinks to far. "No holding down and I dont swallow", Ghost answers breathless, squirmings bit to find s better position to kneel in. Soap titls his chin up before palcing a kiss on his lips. "So me fucking your throat is okey?", Soap ask for clarification. "Yes", Ghost moans, somehow is body found some more blood to get in his dick. "Tap me 3 times if its to much." "3 taps when its to much", Ghost repeats.
"Good boy and now go to work." The grip on his hair is is losening. And Ghost starts small, Soap is deffently one of the bigger dicks he had. He carefully licks up from the shaft to the tip, before he licks directly over the slit, making Soap moan. Liking up all the pre cum, Soap starts to leak. He carefull put his lips around the tip making sure his theet are not in the way, before he slowly start bobing his head. Taking more and more of Soap in his mouth everytime he goes down. After he carefully gets used to Soaps length and grith he starts taking him as deep as he can. Hes gagging a bit before hes able to relax his throat enough. He's enjoying it losing himself in the rythem he set up. The only think that is irritating him his own neglected cock. He needs to get Soap so blissed out by this, so he can get around his punishment. When hes confident enough that he can take what ever Soap will give him, he pulls off compleatly. He looks up to Soap, having his mouth wide open and his thoung sticking out, wating for Soap to fuck his face to his likeing. Soap makes a displeased sound at Ghost pulling away opening his eyes and forgets to breath for a moment. Ghost looks up at him, with hooded eyes, his lips are shiny from the amount of spit on them. He looks fucking perfect. Soap needs a bit to catch on why Ghost stoped.
"Ready?", he ask for the go ahead and Ghost just gives him a thumps up. He starts trys to recreate the slow speed from before, making sure Ghost really can take before he picks up the pace. "Fuck, look at you, drooling for my cock", Soap praises, seeing drool run down Ghost chin also noticing that tears are appearing in Ghost eyes. Ghost is moaning at the praise gripping at Soaps thighs for balance. Soap hits the back of Ghost throat a bit to hard making Ghost gag a bit to much for his likeing. "Sorry", he apologies, before swiping the tears from Ghost cheeks. Ghost pulls away to reasure: "I can take more Soap, thought you want to stuff my mouth?" Soap is bitting his lower lip. "I love gagging on a fat cock, I will tap you 3 times if it's to much", Ghost reassures Soap before going down again. Taking as much of Soap in as possible and then some more. It is a tight fit, he feels his throat getting stretched out. Ghost moans the vibration making Soap thighten his grip on Ghost hair to painfull because Ghost is tapping on his arm. Soap loses his grip and Ghost hand returns to Soaps leg. Ghost speeds up his head movement and there is only one problem Ghost has. He wants to come and Soap told him no. He wished Soap would start taking control again so he can think a bit more about how to sneakly get around Soaps no.
Soap trys really hard to make this last as long as possible. But Ghost warms thight throat is making is hard for him. He feels the vibration of every moan that Ghost making, his tongue liking over his shaft everytime Ghost is pulling off. He has is eyes closed because he's sure the moment he sees Ghost knealing in front of him and how his dick disappearing in Ghost mouth over and over again, he will come down Ghost throat and Ghost clearly said he don't swallow. He opens his eyes the second Ghost hands are leaving his legs, one now around the base of his dick, but where is the other one? Ghost hopes with this change off his hands he is able to use the hand not on Soaps dick to get on his own arching dick. His boxers are soaked with pre cum. "Both hands stay on me Simon", Soap growls, clearly catching on what Ghost is trying. Simon licks a few time over Soaps slit still trying to get a hand on his own arching dick. "Simon", Soaps warns again and Ghost is stopping all his movement. He looks at Soap with teary eyes, a steady river of tears is running down his face. Soap is using his feet to kick Ghost legs apart, looking pleased. The silhouette of Ghost hard dick clearly visible a small wet spot is slowly growing. "Looks painful Simon", Soap says before pressing the tip of his shoe against it. "ARGH!! Soap, please, I'm sorry", Ghost begs, trying to not humb Soaps shoe like the desperate slut he is. "Oh, I'm sure you're sorry now, but is to late." "No Soap please, I will never do it again, please I want to come, please." "No, this is a lesson, would be pointless for me to give in now", Soap stats calmly. A big amount of tears are running down Ghost cheeks. "Please", Ghost begs pefetig, tears clouding his vision. "No, as I said only good boys get to come and you were a really bad boy. First letting your toys lay around for me to find and now trying to get what you want in a sneaky way", Soap explains while wishing some of the tears away. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry", Ghost sobs knowing he will not get what he wants. "I know, Simon", Soap wispers. "Think you can be a good boy from now on?" "I will try." Soap smiles knowing that Ghost will never stop beeing a massive brat to him, he don't even want Ghost to stop. "That's all I ask for, so now be a good boy and suck my dick." "Yes, Sir." "You okey with me coming on your face?", Soap ask making Ghost moan pornstar worthy. "Like this don't you? You are really a dirty desprade think aren't you?" "Yes, please Soap", Ghost moans nearly comming untouched. Soap sees with a sick satisfaction that the wet spot on Ghost pants is growing. Also realising that Ghost will very likely come untouched not to be disobedient but because he's on a hairpin trigger. And Soap will not punish Ghost for it, it's honestly a gigantic turn on for him.
Ghost return the hand he wanted to use to get himself off back on Soaps leg, the other says on Soaps dick. He carefully just takes a third of it in so that Soap can pull him faster of. He has his eyes closet not wanting to get cum into them, because he knows Soap must be close. One slow lick direcktly over Soaps tip and hes brutally pulled back. When Soap finally hits his orgasam after holding back he does 2 thinks pulling Ghost back and pushing his foot against Ghost dick. Ghost was never one for getting cum all over his face, but hes nearly cuming in his pants when the hot liquid is hitting his face. When Soap presses his foot against his hard dick its over, he moans and coms, blissing out the only think preventing him from pressing his face against one of Soaps legs is the hand in his hair. Soap removes his foot satisfied when he sees the stain on Ghost pants and fuck his face cocerd in cum and tears? He thinks he will remeber this forever. The first think that Ghost notices when is orgasam passes by is, that his pants are sticky. He failed, he did the one think he was not suposed to do. "Look at you, so fucking pretty coverd in my cum", Soap praises and Ghost has not the feeling he deserves the praise he failed. "Im sorry", says before lowering his head in shame. "Honestly making you come with bearly even touching you? It's fucking hot Simon, you came just from having a dick in your mouth", Soap tells him while he watches how cum is dropping down from Ghost face on his shirt. "But you said", Ghost starts making a disgusted sound when cum is running in his mouth. "I know what I said Simon, but you wouldhave come in your pantsanywayso i helped you over the edge." "Fucking Cunt", Ghost muters while cum is start to run down his throat. "Simon, get cleaned up we still have a few hours of car ride before us", Soap says while removing some cum out of Ghost hair.
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god ok so you guys know how we're Ragebound? specidically Knight of Rage? (still attached to maid of rage(stimmy name, cute outfit) but i genuinely think knight fits more)
and you know how my short term and working memories are SHOT to hell?
[externalization, REALLY long]
as a manifestation - er. byproduct i guess of ky alxithymedisf fuck- Alixithymia . well thats closer at least...- anyway- its super hard for me to think if i Dont write things down, its why talking verbally is so hard for me.
its like other peoples working memory is a meandering stream where they see their thoughts slowly drifting by before leaving their view some ways down the flow, and mjne is a waterfall. so if i dont. put my words on paper as i think them, ill have forgotten what i was saying, maybe During the thought that i am speaking.
this applies to my inner life as well. not in a system way speciricqlly but not Not in a system way.
like. my emotional state is so hidden in the fog of mist around the rapid water, so obfuscated by the coping mechanism of dissociation that i adapted so that i could Survive, anf the mist of my damaged brain, that i just. kind of. dont remember how i feel if i dont specirically seek it out and write it down.
and even then my thoughts are very baseline.
its why i talk so much about my inner experiences. if i dont, i wont know them. not for long.
its like i have a 2dimensional view of my 3d emotions. like im a Flatlander from Flatland seeing a person Bisect my reality, but i cant tbink in video, only pictures.
if i start writing down the pictures i see, tbe emotional states i experience moment to moment before they pass the event horizon and their existanxe, to me, is enshrouded by fog, then. i start recording thoae crossections, and i can start to peice together an image of my 3d thoughts and feelings, with my 2d eyes.
one of my few saving graces is that i am, aparently, really smart, thoughtful, whatever. i scored a 156 on IQ a long time ago, and, if you account for yhe problems caused by my memory, i still have that score. IQ is a Very limited picture of intelligence, but it is a Real form of it. this and i aparently think much more critically than my fellow students at the very least.
i was what youd call a gifted kid burnout. i could skate by on little to no effort in lower school, and i never learned a self discipline because of it. im super super fucking bad at resisting my own needs. my willpower regarding things is weak, i think its cause of my fatigue. my Baselime is their exhausted. their peak. and everyone is less able to resist their urge to aleep when they have the flu.
because of all of this whatever, i still, aparently, am very good at . well. getting good grades on tests that i forgot about and didnt study for.
anyway...
isnt it kind of. really Rage aspect pilled that I am . so predisposed against . like. being an internal, private person?
like. if i dont say what im thinking, i will forget it, isnt that Really Rage? to like Be translucent in my thoughts reasoning and actions in ways other people just. arent [predisposed | forced] to be?
thats not saying i Cant lie. i can. we actually. used to be a compulsive liar, and its only through a lot of therapy that ive gotten this much better.
its just something neat...
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Its been about 4 months since my wife and I split up, and I have some feelings. This is basicly a diary entry. This is very personal so you can read if you want but if tmi makes you uncomfortable feel free to skip out on this one.
Is life suppose to be this easy? And generally pleasant?
I have 2 pairs of shorts for work that I got last year. I've lost a little bit of weight and was holding them up with a belt, but the extra faberic was chafing. Thats one of my sensory sensitivities. I hate baggy clothes.
So I went to walmart and got 2 pairs of shorts that fit properly. I didn't even get the cheapest pairs they had, I got the ones that fit well in a color I liked. I spent, like, $50 on clothes, and it didnt even blow my budget.
With my wife, I was trying to support 2 people on 1 income, and even though my parents were helping, we were poor. My parents made sure we never went hungry, but they are the reason we didnt go hungry. And the reason we had air-conditioning last summer. My wife "let" me take care of the budget, and I was fine with that. She's dyslexic and I've been doing my taxes since I was 16.
She didnt just 'let me handle the budget', she made me both literally and morally responsible for every financial decision either of us made right down to buying a pack of gum, and made sure I knew what a peice of shit I was when I inevitably miscalculated her priorities and said 'no' at the wrong time.
The problem is, she pretty much dropped any responsibility for finincial decision making or prioritizing in my lap and walked away. We were poor. That wasn't a small responsibility. I was the only one with an income, and she told me to handle the finances. I offered alternative solutions, such as her having her own bank account where I would have half of my paycheck deposited automatically, or doing the finances with her where she also makes the decisions about (and takes responsibility for) what happens to our money each month. She didn't want either. She wanted a breif summary of if we were green, red, or black, and a spending budget. She wanted to be able to ask me 'can we afford this?' and have me weigh how much money we have and how high of a priority the item is to her, then evaluate the risk of making this purchase now and managing a suprise expence later. She wanted me to decide for her what was important enough to be worth spending our minimal discretionary income, and she wanted me to get it right every time. Because if I got it wrong? I was a weak, pathetic, selfish, manchild. Isnt she such a poor little victim for suffering my finincial abuse?
Yesterday I bought shorts, and it was so easy. I wanted shorts that fit better, so I bought shorts that fit better. I didnt have to predict what awful things the decision said about me, and I didn't have to justify why my discomfort is bad enough to be worth the money. Did I have the discretionary money? Yes. Is it worth the risk to me? Yes.
I feel like something must be wrong. There is no way life is just this simple.
I'm just having big feelings about being free to buy my clothes without drama for the first time in years.
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Sir Pentious just had a very tiring day so he goes to sleep early. His eggies wants a story before bed and he doesn't say no to tell a story to his egg bois
Pentious was exaughsted. He was just done with a grueling job on some weapons until he heard Frank's and his brothers ask for a story.
"Its late little ones, you know I'm a old soul.. but okay one story, one then it's right to bed my children."
His sleepy mind was making him slip up and call them his children, he was usually better about separating his earthly emotions for his actual bio son.
But when he got down to it they were his son, they sounded like him sometimes.... it haunted him.
Regardless he settled down and kept it up,
"Snuggle up little ones."
He waited as they got comfy, Frank laying in his arms so he could cuddle him.
"There once was a man who was so very lonely."
An egg boi cooed, "why was he lonely?"
"The man was lonely because he didnt fit in, he was seen as a monster. So he took a few peices of his hair and used it to make little friends who would be family..."
Pentious subtly adjusted his frills and felt the notches he cut out for each batch of Egg bois when he needed to stabilize their DNA in production.
An eggboi hummed,
"Sounds like what you use to make us boss!"
Pentious softly rubbed the Eggbois back,
"Shhh.... shhh..."
The egg cooed placidly.
"All his copies needed to be kept in special vessels, due to their misshapen forms like a soup. But he loved each one dearly... always collecting each one when they would break... each day blaming himself for not taking care of them better.. he loved them regardless.. and one day he would make it so theyd never be hurt again.."
The eggs slowly began to fall asleep but Frank wouldn't shut his eyes so he continued,
"One day he accomplished his goals.. and he finally could rest with his family..."
Pentious sighed and hugged Frank closer and hummed softly until Frank fell asleep at last. It left Pentious awake until he was sure he could cry and drifted to sleep himself.
He dreamt of his future and hoped they werent false hopes in his mind. He needed it to be true that one day theyd all be at peace.
He just didnt know the future would rip them from his loving embrace, leaving one alone in the world as when his own son left him one bitter winter night, before he left for war.
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Guys i have the sirius to my remus. I spend a lot of time in my head and i feel horrible a lot of the time. I dont like when people pay a lot of attention to me because it freaks me out, like they鈥檒l find out something i dont want them to. I worry a lot and im crazy insecure. My bsf, whom i love, is very loud about his care. Dont get me wrong, im not at all complaining, i love him sm and i love that he cares about me. Its just overwhelming sometimes bc i feel like he makes a bigger deal out of some of my issues than they actually are. Hes protective and very expressive when hes worried about someone. Hes contantly asks me if im okay, checks up and asks if ive eaten properly, etc. hes more, forcedul in his care ig is the bast way i can explain in. Kind of hurried, as if ill disapear if he doesnt do something immedeatly. And i love that about him, truely, hes amazing, but i respond better to silent care. Which is what this boy does for me. He listens, he LIKES it when i ramble, he never talks over me, and hes quiet about his care in the best ways possible. When i told him about some home issues he didnt freak out, he made light of the situation and it was exactly what i needed. Theres issues in my life that i have never even said out loud, things im utterly terrified to tell anyone ever. And its like this guy knows exactly what i need. If i were gonna tell anyone these things it would be him. He doesnt make it a big deal, he doesnt ask anything else from me, just silently listens to what i tell him. Hes so gentle and sweet and caring in so many ways. The first timw i cried in fromt of him, it was terrifying bc i hate crying in front of people. He then told me im a pretty crier, and that make me feel so good. Like that calmed my worries instantly. I know he doesnt judge me and fuck its beautiful. I love him so much, hes perfect to me. Like if there was a person who was made to fit the final peice in my puzzle, it was him. However, im not putting him on soem sort of perfect petastole. Hes not perfect, never has been, hes awkward and silly and doesnt know how to respond to a lot of things. He has issues and struggles, things hes scared of and his limits, like every other human. But none of that matters, you know? Like i know hes not perfect but that doesnt make him any less to me. Hes the same guy that makes me grin stupidly when he tells me he loves it when i tell him about the stars. Hes the same guy that didnt talk to me for three days bc he was socially exhausted. Hes the same guy that still came back and asks me to hang out when he has some silly idea. Hes the same guy that was there for me when i came out to my family and comforted me when i was overhwelmed with my emotions. Silences between us arent awkward, we can just BE with each other. Like sit in the same room for hours and not speak and it not be even slightly wierd. Ive had a crush on him since we became friends like three years ago. I dont know if he feels the same at all. But i dont need him to return those feelings. I dont need to date him, i dont need anything more from him. His friendship is all i could ever hope for and its even better because hes become such a CLOSE friend in these years. He means more to me than he will ever know and i am perfectly content with what we have right now. We plan to move in together when we鈥檙e older and adopt disabled pets bc they deserve love too. We have ideas on how our household will work and who will do what. I dont want any of that to change, i will never need more from this man. I love him, i dont know in what way but it doesnt matter. Its the samw no matter what.
#marauders#sirius black#sorry for the rant#i love him#he>>>#hes amazing#remus lupin#im gay as fuck#men#ignore this#i just needed to share this#somewhere i was annonymis
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but nah you're right. I didnt wanna say anything about maws bc I was so excited for it before release bc the main designs are so pleasant, but I haven't watched past the first 2 EPS & I couldn't put my finger on why it didn't click with me. It has everything I should like in theory- but in practice, it not only lacks anything compelling, but moreover anything *weird*, which is why I come back to stories other people don't usually like as a superman fan myself. it's cute, but that's all I find myself thinking of it, and I don't think about anything more. It's not that it just lacks any edge, but that it lacks anything out of the ordinary. I don't hate it. I just don't think about it much, despite the fact I adore superman as a character overall so very much.
YES EXACTLY, I was EXTREMELY excited for this series but it's very... safe.... like obviously ppl are gonna throw a fit about certain changes for bigoted reasons, but other than that it doesn't really have any of the quirkiness usually found in comics and other peices of media
that's what makes it feel like it's not really for me, like it's a superman show that celebrates the core of superman's character but not the medium that created him and that sucks to me
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while i will say its sad i didnt get to playing Lisa until recently (a case of 'no one told me enough abt this game to make me get it sooner') there is also something interesting to say about playing it now, versus what it would have been like playing it 5-10 years ago. because this game does touch on some hard subjects, and its not a simple 'this would be uncomfy to play as a 14 year old' and not even 'this game would trigger me' its just like, i probably would have seen it in the Height of 2015 toxic tumblr culture and i would have denied everything good about it...
cuz you know. that was generally the time where callout culture was at its height and it was kind of crazy- it was very out of control. and i was very sucked into the paranoia of trying to make sure i was never problematic. by no means did the game Lisa come up in my circle to deem it "problematic" but ooooo boy i know it wouldve been. and i know i probably wouldve heard enough about it to shove it to the side and think "no, never, this is disgusting and offensive" etc. for all the wrong reasons of course, and tbh i probably would come around eventually but it would have been much harder.
this is all to say-- its not always bad to be late to the party. i think i played this game at a really good place in my life. not even in terms of my own mental recovery over the years but just my own maturity and being able to like... better view this kinda thing. years back it felt like any peice of media tackling a sensitive triggering subject was deemed bad until proving otherwise, but even then there would be enough subjective opinions around that there would always be someone vehemently against the thing still. and paranoid teenager me, didnt want to be a 'bad person'.
Lisa was a good reminder to myself that these things can totally and should exist and you cant be so strict on stories that tell some of these subjects. you really cannot. its okay to have wavering suspicions about some when people have bad intentions but you cant just stop letting people write. that old tumblr culture made me feel like you literally had to fit every subject ever mentioned and if you didnt then you couldnt write it. or, you just had to tell everyone you had [disorder, trauma, etc] in order to write it at all. insane lol.
so yea sorry so much Lisa love rn bc that game went hard on its subjects and its painful (sorry, i dont intend the joke its just true) to sit through and it sucks, its uncomfortable, etc but there is nothing wrong with that alone.
#SORRY ILL SHUT UP NOW....#sorry lisa tumblr tag i just am passionate#lisa rpg#lisa the painful#lisa
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