#but the middle school I went to? the best of times.
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HIIII so I was kinda think if u can write a mini Drabble on how Riki and reader snuck out to buy food at 3 am and ends up getting caught like a lot of fluff??
CAN I BE 💋 ANON????
Midnight Food Run
(i made reader a trainee, hope you don’t mind!)
Idol! Nishimura Riki / Niki x Trainee!Reader
It was 3 AM, and the whole dorm seemed eerily quiet.
All of the lights in every room were turned off except for the soft glow of your phone screen as you texted Niki.
You'd been wanting something warm, comforting, anything to just get you through the stress of your trainee life. And of course, Niki was always ready for an adventure.
–––
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" you whispered, barely audible, as you stood in the dim hallway of Enhypen’s dorm.
Your voice felt almost too loud in the silence. You glanced over at Niki, who was adjusting his baseball cap and tugging his hoodie over his head in a way that only made him look even more suspicious.
"Shhh, it's fine," Niki whispered back, his signature mischievous grin flashing in the dark. "Everybody's asleep. We'll be quick, a little ramen and some chips, and then back before anyone can notice."
You raised an eyebrow. Definitely not something you were supposed to be doing as a trainee, especially not in ENHYPEN's dorm.
Still, there was just something about being with Niki, escapism from the grind of your daily training, that made it worth it.
You knew it was a bad idea, but the temptation of late-night snacks, and being around Niki was too strong.
"Fine, but if we get caught, I swear I'm blaming you," you teased, putting on your hoodie.
"Deal," he said with a wink, already going for the door.
Both of you snuck out of the dorm, careful to be as quiet as possible.
You had pulled your hat low over your face, trying to hide as best you could, but even so, you couldn't help that thread of adrenaline sneaking around at this hour.
Being a trainee was exhausting, and moments like this felt almost like small acts of rebellion in a life that was constantly demanding discipline.
As you both headed towards the convenience store, neither could stop giggling at the ridiculousness of it all.
Niki, of course, that troublemaker, was reveling in this quiet chaos. You just hope no one catches onto what you‘re doing.
You both ran into the store like two kids finally set free for the first time.
Niki beelined for the ramyeon aisle, throwing a couple of flavors into his basket, while you grabbed a bag of spicy chips, your favorite late-night snack.
"I'm getting everything I can," Niki said, loading his basket up with a variety of junk food, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Ramyeon, chips, maybe some rice cakes. Who knows when we'll get to eat again?"
You chuckled, shaking your head. "We really are a mess, huh?"
Just as you were about to leave, you heard the sound of a car driving up from outside. It wasn't a normal car, no. It had the logo of the HYBE staff vehicles (lets pretend those exist). Instantly, your stomach sank.
"No," Niki muttered under his breath, staring out the window with wide eyes. "No way… no, no, no."
It was too late. The door to the convenience store swung open and in walked one of the staff, precisely the one who always seemed to be checking up on ENHYPEN's schedule during off-hours. His eyes found their way to the both of you and for a moment, his body was rigid, eyes wide as he scanned the scene.
There you both were, standing in the middle of the snack aisle, looking like you got caught sneaking out of school.
Niki's hand froze mid-reach for another snack as he saw the staff member, and his face went instantly from smug excitement to sheepish guilt.
An eyebrow rose as the staff looked at you before turning to Niki, his lips curling upwards in a knowing smile.
"You two, huh? I should have known." He let out a little exasperated sigh. "What do you think you're doing?"
Niki hastily set the snacks down, turning to face the staff member with a sheepish grin. "Uh. Just getting some snacks?”
The staff member's eyes narrowed a bit, but an amusing concern bloomed on his face. "Niki, I get it. But you shouldn't be out here at this hour. And you," he turned his gaze to you, "You're a trainee. What are you doing sneaking into ENHYPEN's dorm at 3 AM?”
You froze, realizing the weight of what you had been found doing. "I, uh… was just hanging out with Niki…" you muttered, the sentence trailing off lamely. "We just… wanted to grab a snack…”
"You're not supposed to sneak into their dorms like this," the staff said sternly, though his voice lightened a little as he looked at you with concern. "Your debut is soon. You should be focusing on work, not running out at this hour with one of the members from a different group. If anybody finds out you’re sneaking out at night. It could cause problems."
Niki threw his hands up in the air dramatically. "I didn't force them to! We were just getting some food back late."
The staff gave him a pointed look. "You both know better. Now, go back to the dorm. You are going to get into trouble if you keep this up, especially you, Y/N. Don't let me catch you out here again."
You nodded hastily, feeling a little embarrassed yet somehow also amused at how caught you both were. "Yeah. Sorry. We'll head back right away."
The staff took one final, almost affectionate shake of his head. "You're lucky I'm letting you off easy. Just remember, focus on your training. The next few weeks are critical for you."
With that, he turned and walked away, forgetting what he came in for, leaving the two of you standing in the convenience store with your snacks in hand. Niki looked at you with a guilty and humored expression in his eyes.
"Well. that didn't go as planned," Niki said, trying to lighten the mood.
You couldn't help but laugh, a bit of relief flooding through you. "Yeah, no kidding. Guess we're going back to the dorm now."
"But what about this?" He whines, pointing at the ramyun and rice cakes you guys were planning to make in the store.
"Stop whining, let's pay and we'll make it in the dorm." You say, giggling at the way he rolls his eyes.
As you both came out of the convenience store and walked back in silence, you couldn't help but smile, despite everything.
That had been a minor victory, an act of rebellion in your otherwise rigid trainee life, and although you'd gotten caught, the thrill of sneaking out with Niki wasn't something that you would be forgetting anytime soon, however short it had been.
You both ran to the dorm as fast and quietly as possible so that you wouldn't cause an alarm to others.
You looked into each other's faces and silently promised that next time, you weren't going to get caught.
idk how to feel abt this :/
#enha x reader#enha scenarios#enha imagines#enha fluff#enhypen x you#ni ki enhypen#enhypen niki#enhypen x reader#enha#enhypen#enhypen nishimura riki#enhypen riki#lee heeseung#park jeongseong#park sunghoon#sim jaeyun#sim jake#enhypen park jay#kim sunoo#kim seonwoo#yang jungwon#enha jungwon#enha niki#ni ki#enha nishimura riki#nishimura riki#jramblesaboutsoap#j’s fics!
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third times the charm.
azul x reader
synopsis: azul likes you. and he’s been trying to ask you out for a while.
a/n: okay guys im not dead wtf. posting this fic to prove i didn’t kms 💀💀
azul had only three goals in mind: prove his bullies wrong, become rich and die rich.
his love life was the least of his worries. he’d probably swoon over some wealthy girl and marry her for connections. done deal. nothing much to think about.
azul thought about the huge house he’ll eventually own. he even has the measurements and everything down in his head.
everything would be at the grasp of his hands. no children, absolutely not. everything would be perfectly spread out just for him. he’d die on his deathbed with a huge grin on his face, knowing he’d only get the best even after he has left the world of the living. perfect.
so sometimes, he’d find himself wondering why he would be in a dazed state, daydreaming about a modest, happy future with you.
everything was laid out. his entire future was laid out. then suddenly, you decided to waltz into his life, and all he thinks about is you. waking up, he’s wondering if you’re sleeping in. or when he’s eating, he’d be trying to guess what you’d be buying to see if he actually knows your tastes. or during work, gazing around mostro lounge, seeing if you’d decided to take a visit to his beloved café.
ugh, it infuriated him.
sometimes, it would go as far as thoughts of marriage, which completely ruined him.
see, the thing is, he hasn't even asked you out. you and azul were not at all close intimately in any way. friends? sure. but not close like that.
so why was his mind leaping so far? did he really want to have such a commitment with you? after all these years of obsessing over his future?
he wanted to live such a luxurious life of power and money. so everything he’s done to build all the way up here seems to tumble down when in his head, azul seemed to feel much happier in a modest life with you. he felt his heart warm at the thought of being beside you even in his death.
he hasn’t daydreamed this much since middle school, when he’s had violent thoughts about ruining anyone who’s bullied him.
so, after much contemplation, he decided to confess.
the first time, he decided it was going to be simple. he was gonna hand you a bouquet of flowers afterschool, and ask if he could court you. simple enough, right? he’s look clean and awesome.
but when the time finally arrived, he found himself to have cold feet.
yes, he’d have the comfort of knowing he would have composure, but what if you reject him? then can he keep going on with the calm, collected manner? would you think a simple bouquet of flowers would be too little?
fortunately for you, you ended up having a pretty vase of flowers. unfortunately for azul, you wouldn’t know who it came from.
the second time, azul went on full glam.
it’s be an incredibly romantic setting. It's just you and azul, chatting away after hours of mostro lunge and you’d fall right into his trap of charms, and just when you’re feeling him, he’d confess. so while you have a good impression of him, would you receive a confession from him.
fancy food, calm, quiet setting.
azul was so sure he’d be able to do this that he even let jade and floyd intervene and help out.
yet when you and azul were talking, he found himself stuttering, quite a hot mess.
although you seemed quite confused and calm, azul was in a nervous state.
he’d start overthinking again, his head wandering off to merry land, thinking about the possible results of this confession. perhaps this was too excessive? Maybe the simple bouquet of flowers from before would’ve been better. you seemed to have enjoyed them.
no! azul already got this far, he has to do this!
“so, uhm… prefect…” azul behind, breathing in deeply.
you turned to look, and blinked at him. “yeah?”
…fuck.
it was like you wanted him to fail, batting your eyelashes (you literally just blinked) and looking so cute in front of him (you just inhaled a shit ton of free food)
“a-ah… is there anything else you want? I’m feeling quite generous.”
azul wanted to sprint out. he messed up again! It seems that the words “i like you” weren’t coming out of his mouth anytime soon.
you frowned. “really? you really don’t have it out for me?”
azul shook his head, and smiled. “you can trust me.”
you shrugged. “oh well. whatever debt I have to pay will be something future me can deal with.” you flapped the menu open.
It took quite a bit of convincing for the twins to drag you here, since you were suspicious as to why azul wanted to suddenly meet you, offering free food out of nowhere. azul was wasting all of it.
the twins will never let him see the end of it.
…and never seeing the end of it was he right.
even after such a mess up, predictably, the twins kept teasing azul about it. they’d even use it against him sometimes.
“ah…you’re making us do all of this when you helped you prepare a confession for the prefect and you didn’t even confess… and wasted our time…sigh….”
it was horrible down here with jade and floyd.
if he… possibly tried confessing to you again… would they stop?
although it seemed azul was in the dumps of announcing his love for you, it made him think about it again. freedom… from the twins… is this what heaven is like?
it wasn’t like azul completely stopped thinking of you, in fact, you appeared in his thoughts even more now, which seemed impossible already but who’s to tell?
you slowly consumed his mind, it drove azul insane. what’s even worse is that you’re completely blind to it, so he can’t even go to you for comfort from this madness.
it’s technically your fault, and also not your fault at the same time!
the days went by, and azul couldn’t tolerate it any longer.
yes, he wanted to appear as awesome and composed as he could in front of you, but you were driving him nuts without trying— azul just liked you so much. He couldn’t just hold inside him, of course he would go mad!
and anyways, third times the charm, right?
however, for the unlucky octopus, he just can’t seemed to find the right time. you were constantly surrounded by people, and if you were, for the rare occasion, alone, azul would freeze up at the unexpected chance.
this crush on you got even worse as well, turning more red by the second, compared to his slight discomfort from his early days.
he was already imagining a relationship with you, embarrassingly giggling to himself like a little girl with his eyes closed in bed. it was starting to take a toll on him when his head wandered astray to thoughts of marriage… it was like the world slapped him in the face as if to say hey! your life plans are totally going down the drain because you are pathetically in love!
he's spent many days mumbling to himself like crazy. stuck to be a paranoid businessman, considering every possibility and outcome he might receive if he ever told you his feelings, especially if you were to reject him. his eyes burned from being unable to sleep at night from overthinking and the stacks of papers he had to get through because he lost track of his focus thinking of you.
now you were ruining his life.
and what were you doing? nothing.
it's like whenever you were bored, you decided to prance around the daises of his life; an unstoppable force, preventing azul from functioning normally.
this isn't like him.
"this isn't like you." said jade, leaning towards azul so that he could hear jade's hushed voice over the chatty crowds of the mostro lounge. "you're not still stuck on about the whole prefect thing, are you?"
azul sighed. "admittedly, i am." he took off his glasses and massaged his temple. "i have barely gotten any work done. what is wrong with me?"
jade chuckled. "why are you so worried? honestly, you should just walk up to them and ask. that's what i would do."
"i'm not you, jade" azul groaned. “I can’t just confidently stride to them and ask them out.”
“well of course you can’t!”
“ouch.”
“my apologies. let me reword that. you can’t do that because you’re not me. how about you do it in a way that doesn’t make you look so cool? after all, you’re quite the opposite of that. wouldn’t the truth be more endearing?”
still… ouch. but it wasn’t like jade was wrong. azul is, unfortunately, far from cool. Even though that is what he likes to display.
“and what if the prefect says yes after you ask them out with that mask of yours? are you going to keep pretending until they get sick of you?”
azul couldn’t reply. what could he say?
“just be normal. after all, i couldn’t stand to watch you like this after you made me and floyd do all that work and was still incapable of asking them out. do you know how difficult it was for me to drag the prefect here? uhehehehehe.” jade wiped away a fake tear.
azul just groaned and walked away.
a little frustrated, a little annoyed, his courage seemed to have broken the roof when he saw you walk in with grim, bickering about who knows what.
he thought back to his daydreams. the images of you smiling, holding hands, soft kisses in secret, his heart was not well.
he slowly dug deep into his head to take out a precious daydream of his;
nothing special,
it was you slowly mouthing the words “I. Love. You.” to him.
“prefect,” azul said, tapping your shoulder.
you gave your full attention to him, happily. “what’s up azul?”
“I like you. would you allow me to take you out on a date?”
a/n hi guys.. shoujo bf is coming im serious pls b patient w me 💀💀
#disney twst#twst x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#twisted wonderland#twst#twst fic#twst wonderland#x reader#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#octavinelle
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Dad!Matt headcannons <3
Banner credits to @bernardsbendystraws
Dad!Matt who never raises his kids to be brats and acting spoilt
Dad!Matt who literally freaks out anytime his kids get hurt, even if it's a small scrape from playing on a tiny skateboard or even dropping a plastic knife on their feet. One time Matt's son fell down the stairs as a toddler and he went as white as a ghost mom!reader thought he was going to pass out. But in the end, Matt's son had a few tears but was alright.
Dad!Matt who does anything and everything to prevent his kids from getting sick, he will make all of his kids suit up in hats, scarfs, coats, and gloves at the beginning of the fall season. He doesn't his babies to get poorly :(
Dad!Matt who reads books to all of his kids every night, this encouraged them to read by themselves and all find their love for books, just like their daddy.
Dad!Matt who will always be there for his kids whether it is emotionally, physically or mentally he will offer the best advice he can give anyone.
Dad!Matt who pushes his kids to do things that he wouldn't have been able to do when he was their age, like asking shop workers where specific things were in the store to build up their confidence.
Dad!Matt who always participates in dressing up for halloween. When the kids were younger, Dad!Matt would always come up with a family costume but as the kids got older Matt still dressed up even if it was just a couples costume with you. His ideas were the best.
Dad!Matt who hosts the best birthday parties for his kids. He is going all out, he would hire a bouncy castle and a kids entertainer just so he could see his kids gleaming faces on their birthday.
Dad!Matt who is excellent on the grill, his kids love his hamburgers and speciality hot dogs.
Dad!Matt who shows his kids all of the TV shows he watched when he was a kid.
Dad!Matt who would anything for his kids even if they only mentioned it once, one time his son spoke about how he enjoyed his painting class and the next day Matt had bought him a full art set and a brand new easel.
Dad!Matt who loves play fighting with his children, he loves seeing their laughing faces when Matt beats them and tickles them.
Dad!Matt who lets his silly side shine through as soon as he has children.
Dad!Matt who makes sure that his children all feel like they have their own identity and aren't defined by their siblings and family successes.
Dad!Matt who buys loads of toys and accessories to make his kids' playroom their safe space and make them feel as comfortable as possible.
Dad!Matt who loves helping his kids with pre-k homework and showing them how to do word searches. But when they reach Middle school he has never felt so lost when it came to their homework.
Dad!Matt who helps his children fight their fears. If one of his kids is scared of dogs, Matt would take them to the park and would encourage them to stroke dogs while they would have a walk.
Dad!Matt who hosts movies nights with his family full with an endless supply of snacks and treats. He would even invite Nick and Chris' families to join as well!
Dad!Matt who would take mom!reader and his kids to Boston every time school was out. He would take his kids to specific spots that Matt grew up going to and he would tell them all stories about his childhood while acting it out in the spot.
Dad!Matt who would buy lego sets to build for each of his kids bedrooms so it would compliment your decorations that you designed the bedrooms with.
Dad!Matt who does so many arts and crafts with his kids, whether it is using a cardboard box to make a time machine or using used plastic bottles to create a shop that the kids can play pretend with.
Dad!Matt who loves dressing up and playing pretend with his kids. Matt really gets into character if he is pursuing the role of a fairy godmother or a ninja with his kids. Matt would create the most imaginative story lines when playing barbies with his daughter or action figures with his son.
Hey guys! I hope you really enjoyed these headcannons! Dad!Matt hols a special place in my heart! If you have any requests/suggestions please do not hesitate to send me a quick message and i will try and get back to you asap! <3
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo imagine#matt x reader#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#dad!matt#nicolas sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew imagines#matthew sturniolo#.。*゚+.*Remi's corner *.+*゚.。#ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ dad!matt˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
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no offense to Americans but as someone from the Nordics the tags on this post are terrifying. you really live like this?
You know we only ever really "learn" how to bathe in our youth as it is taught to us by our parents and from then on most people kinda just bathe the same way right. And like barring actively deciding to do it the only way most people change their bathing habits is if they bathe with a loved one and get convinced to do somethi g different in the bath bc its cleaner/faster/whatever bc of them. Ok heres the thesis statement. The lack of communal bathing in society is holding us back from discovering The Ultimate Bathing
#the time spent in shared school showers were Formative Experiences#elementary school showers were warfare though I could have gone without that#but the middle school I went to? the best of times.#no shower fungus. a sauna. actual friends who made me feel comfortable enough I didn't even Consider skipping the shower.#even though gym was Always last period and I could have just showered at home#also public swimming pool and camp site showers as an adult are so normal
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Oh Sklonda's righteous fury hits so hard, as a kid who WAS taken advantage of in many ways by her friends when she was in school, and whose mom tried to tell her they were being unkind and who didn't believe her until she got kinder friends
#christina liveblogs#for me it was middle school so i know we've all grown up#i wish those people nothing but the best in life#but absolutely time and again my generosity was taken advantage of#i got teased for my naivety#my mom loaned a friend $20 when she said she lost it as we were driven to the movies#she found her cash and instead of giving my mom her $20 back we went to the mall with $40#i sat alone at a friend's house while they went to smoke weed in the garage bc i was Very much not the stoner i am now#and when we got to high school and i made friends with kids from my theater class#THEATER KIDS!!!#my middle school emo friends got upset bc i was being 'normal now'#they were not always good friends to me#and i was just like riz insisting it was fine i loved them they werent doing anything wrong#sklonda is right to be pissed and i love her for it#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 spoilers#d20#fantasy high#sklonda gukgak#riz gukgak
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[chanting doggedly into my bathroom mirror while white-knuckling the sink] i will not envy those who have things i do not want i will not envy those who have things i do not want i will not envy those who have things i do not want
#sometimes i see people posting instagram pics with their childhood and college friends and i'm a little jealous#then i remember that there are like. reasons i'm not in touch with some of my former childhood and college friends#and i still have my best friend from college and many wonderful people in my life#i just briefly got caught up the fantasy where that part of my life was entirely different than it is#honestly justice for those of us who didn't have that good of a time in school socially speaking#i think i thought in college i would end my streak of being a kid who was better at talking to adults than my peers#but i just went to college and was like damn why do i get along so well with my middle-aged professors#like i have great mentors and i'm very grateful for them and for the friends i have#i just sometimes wish i'd gone somewhere with fewer proto-finance bros#personal nonsense
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people absolutely go too far with it but if thinking two celebrities are being kinda gay together is wrong i don't wanna be right
#it's fine#some random dude called me and m y best friend gay when we wer ein middle school#granted#he was correct we WERE gay just not gay together#gay separately at the same time#but like!!! we walked it off#i went to her gay wedding 15 years after he said that
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see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept
#ranging from vaguely upper class (niko and charles via comic logic) to presumably quite wealthy (edwin) to straight up ultrarich (crystal)#well off but doesn’t own a mansion -> owns a mansion -> owns several mansions in several countries#but yeah that aside. I don’t like the idea of him being raised upper class or even upper middle and yes I know he went to a private catholic#school that presumably costs a decent amount of money but for one we don’t Know how much exactly by that point in time (I’m assuming it was#more prestigious and expensive back in edwin’s day) and it’s not like middle class or even working class people can never afford#to send their one (1) kid to catholic school. like that’s really not too unusual. I know this is an american example but im thinking about#lady bird and her catholic school situation- her family was financially unstable and still paid for Catholic school because it was (in their#opinion) the best offering for an education in the neighborhood (and as someone who lives in the same city in the same Area of the same#city I can tell you that that choice does make sense even for a non-catholic. the public schools round here can be uhhhhhh rough)#so im seeing charles’ situation sorta like that#his dad seems like the type to want him ‘kept in line’ and ‘whipped into shape’ and I think he’d pay for that if he could manage it#idk something about charles is just……he has an appeal by being the Normal Kid amongst them. not raised as anything special. not having all#his needs met. never expecting to do anything super grand with his life. just a city kid yknow#anyway SOMEONES gotta know how to cook. I don’t think crystal or edwin have ever had to cook for themselves in their lives and niko seems to#live on instant ramen and i mean I bet she can cook very basic japanese meals but that’s about it#please for the love of god tell me charles learned some stuff from his mom and can cook an adequate meal#I know ghosts don’t eat but shut up#rambling#charles#dead boy detectives spoilers
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i actually feel like crying. it should be illegal to drift apart from your friends
#there are these 2 girls i went to school with#one was my best friend in elementary school#and the other was my best friend for all of middle school#and in high school i started drifting apart from the middle school one#but THEY randomly got really close in like 11th grade#and they’re still best friends now and post together all the time#(i actually rarely EVER go on personal social medias but whenever i see a post from one of them i always check up on what theyve been doing)#(in like a lovingly curious way not a creepy way)#and them being friends has NOTHING to do with me like i stopped being close w both of them before they ever even became aware of each other#well it’s actually kind of ironic bc while i always loved my friend from elementary school my middle school bff kind of hated her#and in middle school i would’ve given ANYTHING for the three of us to hang out#so it’s kind of i guess bittersweet? that they’re friends now#again i haven’t been close to either of them for years and years but it’s still just strange to me that they are so close#i don’t really think i’m jealous (?) because we are very different people and i don’t know if i’d even like being friends with them anymore#but i do kind of miss them and the friendships we used to have if that makes sense#it’s more like a longing for what USED to be rather than a desire to be part of what they have now#also like i said it’s still just weird and hard to conceptualize them being such good friends now
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My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.
Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"
#it makes me sad that she's so old. and it's only in the past couple months that she's been doing this.#she's still overall very physically healthy. we go on walks almost every day and as long as she wants to.#and she eats well and takes vitamins and her teeth are kept clean and her claws trimmed and her coat clean#but she's slipping a little mentally#she's 11 which is old as hell for a dog her size. the vet said golden retriever mixes (which is what i assume she is) usually live to 10.#and she's not even started going white too much. just around her snoot and a little on her paws.#so when i take her in the vet always assumes she's like 6#but I've had this crusty old lady since shortly before i was even legally an adult#and I'm scared for when she does die because my other dog dying damn near made me commit suicide#and like I've said. I've had her a lot longer.#if she were a person she'd be going into middle school. like.#and she's had her share of weird health things. she's had a thyroid issue since she was 4. she has a weird skin condition.#she's had a couple surgeries and has scars from being attacked by random dogs (not my fault. she's well trained)#she's fallen a couple times recently but the vet says that's normal for her age#she went blind then wasn't blind and is going blind again#her hearing is starting to get shit too#I'm just so worried about her. this dog is a person to me. she's more real than my family in my mind.#and my cat is cool and all. but she's not a people. she's just a cat.#i guess the best i can hope for her is she lives the rest of her life comfortably and can die peacefully in her sleep#i think I'd completely come unglued from reality if i lost another dog to surprise everything cancer#but that's what I'm most scared of#because it came on so quickly and no one caught it despite me being that person who takes their dogs to the vet over a cough#she's sleeping right now and making goofy ass dog dream sounds. and i know i won't hear that any more sometime soon.#dog#old dog#senior dog#clio#joe biden mention
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god there is so much i could say about that time of my life…it’s really no wonder i have medical anxiety
#rambles#when they discharged me when i was STILL so anemic and could barely even walk#and i missed my first days of middle school#but then during that week i went. for an hour i think and then i had to leave#and then i toughed it out for the rest of the week until my parents brought me back. and i had more blood transfusions#and then i was in and out of the er for months#the best part though was that there was a BLOOD MOON during the time i was getting a blood transfusion…#tw medical#tw blood mention
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you ever just see a post and just
. 😭
.⬅️🫀⬅️
#Worst emoji combo ever but it’s gon be such big depression hours down here so scroll if you want im on the brink of throwing up#don’t you just bloody love it how over the past 3 years you’ve only seen people the large total of…. 4 times!!! An average of seeing someon#outside of school 1.3 times per year!! What a bloody fantastic way to spend your teenage years!#Don’t you also just love it when people talk right to you about how they all went out together over the weekend and like did some stupid#shit like your average high schooler would do and you’re just like “oh. I went to my 1 and a half hour long dance class and got ignored the#entire time and when you did try to talk they just spoke over you” oh my fucking god I hate that place so much even the teacher fucking#ignores me once we were going in a circle and she was asking everyone what they got for Christmas and I was in the middle of the circle so#thought hey maybe someone will actually acknowledge my existence but she fucking ignored me and went to next person like why the fuck#And now I’m debating staying in that shithole bc I was invited to a gc for that class and I stupidly thought that someone might want me#There. I wasn’t even invited I secretly scanned the qr code to join over someone else’s shoulder#everyone else there is the best of bloody friends and I’m just there talking to one friend who I don’t even think is my friend#“Hey man I’m really fucking sad rn can I talk to you” “womp womp have you heard stupid fact no.3848594 about my ocs while I ignore you when#you talk about anything else about me” oh my god shut up literally no one else sane would see someone like that their closest friend rn#At least someone wants to talk to me#Like what is it that makes people not want to see my please just tell me I’ll change I’m amazing at changing my personality to fit others#promise me on that I’ve done it my entire life#Even just messaging me more than once every year and I’d consider you my best friend this is how bad I’m getting#What is so bloody bad about me that no one else likes I don’t care how badly you fucking word it just something#It shouldn’t be normal to wish death on people you call your mates bc you heard about them all going out together without you#Oh dear did the gc’s without me in it there’s one for every friend group I’ve ever been in why isn’t there one for the main group I’m in rn#Idfc anymore just tell me what I’m doing wrong I keep asking people if they want to go out or how far away they live from some place#And it’s always met with ignoring me talking over me or immediately changing the subject#Please if you’re someone I know irl what the fuck am I doing fucking wrong I can’t fucking do this anymore be as mean as you like#Why the fuck does no one ever want to be around me why do I hear so much about stuff others are doing together but never me#It shouldn’t be normal to prefer being in a toxic relationship than what I’m in rn#I fucking hate everything
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God my youngest sister drives me nuts she has me up at 6 am every day to wake her up and make her lunch, except she usually refuses to get up and instead just rolls on the floor pretending she can’t hear me. If I do manage to get her ready and in the car some days she’ll have me drive all the way to her school which is 20-30 mins, then magically starts dry heaving and makes me take her back home. Every day. Sometimes she doesn’t give me problems but that’s rare. I know the sickness is probably anxiety but I’m gonna go GRAY from her behavior. Not to be that guy but when I was her age I just dealt with my anxiety and went to school. Nobody had to wake me up or make my lunch or even drive me most times 😑 and even if I didn’t go, I’d go to tutoring and take care of myself and didn’t go to insane lengths to frustrate the people trying to help me ..
#I had severe anxiety ESPECIALLY in middle school. I still went. and I’m sorry but I was going through ten times worse than her#she’s 16 she should be capable of these small things#this wouldn’t be as bad if my entire family wasn’t trying their best to make her pass in school etc. but I won’t tell u abt that bc that#would be so long. just know that it’s a lot more than this. 😑😑😑😑😑#draft 😭
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its that time of the night
#and the year.#really makes me feel like summer especially middle school and before#completely isolated from all my friends panic attacks every time the sun went down hiding from my mom trying to block out screaming as#best i could staying up til dawn drinking dr pepper stealing my moms books listening to my dads cds stealing chocolate chips and eventually#wine from the kitchen puking in the bathroom reading the perks of being a wallflower goinf out for bike rides in the early morning walking#to the library and collapsing on the way home cause i hadnt eaten in 2 days walking past the church holding a knife in one hand#biking because i just knew there was somebody waiting to kill me dying my hair three times begging for escape from the monotony making#friends on twitter and discord in bad places getting attention from strangers for my relationship with a razor blade staying up all night#for the quiet because i needed to be alone because i couldnt sleep to feel something besides numbness getting yelled at for keeping my room#messy and crying thinking about people knowing i was eating finding a book that made me happy and knowing that once i finished it id#return to awful numbing boredom nothing could fix god ive typed a lot#sorry im feeling nostalgic about feeling bad and summer has always been one of many low points in the year for me#anyways ✌️#dw about me im actually in a really good place mentally rn i just. am worried for how long itll last#and quite scared about getting taken off my antidepressants tbh#bug shut up#delete later#Youtube
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the oddly inhuman and yet very human experience of meeting a stranger and upon meeting in person, you both feel like you've known each other your entire lives. not in a "we were destined to be best friends" way but in a "I have seen invisible traces of you and unknowingly felt your presence left in footsteps in a place we have been to together, but not together, because time separated our souls until this moment" way.
#fate#prose#i like to call this 'evidence of human existence' which makes sense but that title carries a weight i cannot explain#we went to a mall together that he used to go to all the time years ago which i also used to frequent with one of my best friends#so there is a chance we had passed each other before w/o knowing and although it is a miniscule chance i love that it isn't zero#so now i want to make a comic out of it KLJFDSH#i met this man on tinder (which i never use) & only matched with him because he seemed nice and we go to the same college#turns out that despite going to hs in a different city he went to middle school in the same district which led to this post#gives a new meaning to 'from strangers to friends friends into lovers and strangers again'#lin says stuff#.txt
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just remembered how in the sixth grade there was a fucking riot in the cafeteria that ended in the entire grade getting silent lunch for like 3 months
#I think it was 3 months but it felt a lot longer. my god middle school was the school to prison pipeline at its finest#on one hand I think its unfair that we were all punished but to be fair the entire grade participated in this riot. I don't even remember#what we were rioting? I just remember a girl named whitney was involved and 1 thing led to another and whitney ran out of the cafeteria#and THE ENTIRE GRADE WENT AFTER HER 😭. myself included I didn’t even know why either but WE WERE AFTER THAT BITCH 😭#it was so bad I remember everyone was heading one direction and then everyone started running back the other direction.#and I got knocked down in the process looking back this was really dangerous. but after that we got silent lunch for what felt like forever#like not only were we forced to sit with our homerooms (and some us didn’t even like our homeroom) but we couldn’t even talk to each other#which is honestly not good for socialization?? but again I can’t entirely blame them cause the situation was out of control.#but also shouldn’t the adults have had that thing under control??? anyways the person who ran silent lunch was the vice tyrant dr levine#he fucking hated us like that man was PISSED OFF and he made it clear cause if you made a sound during silent lunch#that man was gonna threaten you with detention extended detention ISS (aka in school suspension)#he didn’t even mean it but it was pretty good for instilling fear in us good kids. but one time I remember there was a kid who didn’t buy i#he didn’t give into levine’s fear tactic and levine started yelling “ISS!! OSS!! EXPULSION!!!!!” like calm down#I feel bad thinking about how so many kids who would ACCIDENTALLY make a sound were punished. and they were so damn terrified#cause it was like you were on your best behavior all of the time and then one noise and suddenly you had an out of school suspension#one time a boy named jc’s phone went off and he picked it up and it was his grandma asking him if he wanted ice cream 😭 no fucks given#and levine was screaming at him to hang up the phone and jc was like “this is my grandmother I can’t hang up"#and there came a time where we were finally off the hook and I just remember people in the cafeteria were clapping 😭#like this was school sanctioned oppression and we were finally liberated... but then we were back to silent lunch and I don’t even know why#I remember once even I ended up in Levine’s office but I dont think its cause I was talking during silent lunch??#I think it had something to do with bullying idk?? I just remember levine had my back during it and made the other kid cry and apologize#so shout out to levine. always good times goodbye!
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